#but I’m just feeling really inferior and like I should have helped more people

[mauvewalker]

You know one thing I’ve noticed being parroted around a lot are about how ‘sweet’ the strong boys are, just repeating what the protagonist Rhaenrya views her sons as she has stated it within the show herself. (Which is fine as people are entitled to their own opinions). I suppose it doesn’t help with the way the team black boys have been casted, younger actors & an actual teen matching the character’s age, looking all cherub/innocent like with the awkward hairstyles emphasises their youthful ages & the framing by show is heavily in the favour of the blacks.

Compare this to the team green boys Aemond and Aegon (both phenomenal actors perfectly cast to portray them) but considering Aemond is supposed to be a teen what 16 or 19? (the show-runners can’t seem to do basic maths, lol) however, as an audience member subconsciously Aemond is viewed as an adult & treated/judged as such with his actions. Again the negative framing by the show of him in manipulating the GA perceptions of the teams, I’m really surprised they didn’t play a villainous theme tune as like with Darth Vader every time he appeared on screen but I think that would have been a-bit too obvious, lmao. It’s not like the camera framework & Aemond’s get up in black, heavy smirking in the background isn’t already doing so.

Anyways having watched the show, I happen to be believe that they are not these sweet harmless little princes, in particular, Jace hides a much darker personality, imo. For instance, in the courtyard back at Kingslanding with Luke he says “it doesn’t matter what they think” so on the surface you could argue oh how sweet he is trying to comfort his brother but shows his self-entitlement in viewing the other lords/people as beneath them & we know Rhaenrya has told him “you are a Targaryen that’s all that matters” so it has been instilled in him this belief in the Targaryen exceptionalism being closer to gods than men because of their dragons. Also, that line mirrors young Rhaenrya with “their wants are of no consequence” about the small folk again showing self-entitlement & an attitude that would make them poor future leaders.

Jace having this belief instilled in him, I feel it would explain why they all picked on Aemond because whilst Aemond may be a legitimate true-born prince who was undeniably a Targaryen with the Valyrian looks, what didn’t he have? A dragon!! so Jace with his inferiority complex/issues & superiority complex combined, knowing he was a bastard targets/bullies Aemond unfairly for this (for being what he should have been if he was fathered by Laenor) to make Aemond feel bad, inferior & inadequate like him, which they were successful in.

As we saw this made Aemond risk his life attempting to claim a dragon with helaena saying “he did it again” (hinting that Aemond at 10-12 risked himself numerous times) and it was shown twice with his failed attempt with dreamfyre & his successful attempt with vhagar. As Rhaenyra has instilled in him being a Targaryen is the most important BS & the biggest symbolism of this is having a dragon. So, when Aemond finally claims a dragon, Jace is now unable to see or convince himself as better than or being more Targaryen than Aemond.

Hence, his anger when they all jumped him 4v1 beating him & when Aemond was managing to defend himself & calls them for what he is “a bastard” Jace’s rage comes out, not because he thought Aemond was going to kill Luke with a rock as he had lowered his hand holding it. It was Aemond saying “lord strong” which made him pull out the knife & slashing with the intent to kill him. Again Aemond managed to defend himself & the knife dropped on the floor, so obviously Aemond lifts the rock up again to use as a deterrent as there is now also a knife bought in the fight. The strong boys shared a glance & threw sand in his face blinding him & Luke slashed his eye.

We all know what happened after, they didn’t get punished for it, viserys sided with them reaffirming his favouritism & threatening to remove tongues for questioning their legitimacy. Rhaenyra didn’t care to discipline them for it, thus, reaffirming their self-entitlement that they are correct in their behaviours & did nothing wrong.

Another example of Jace self-entitlement, inferiority complex & bullying behaviour was during the toast speech. It was Aegon who pissed him off & some with an optimistic view would argue his toast was trying to bury the hatchet with “fond memories of our youth”, however, he was looking at Aemond with a slight smirk knowing full well it may have been fun for him it was not for Aemond- he was targeting him again when it was Aegon who bothered him & Aemond was minding his own business. The reason for this? Because he is comfortable to be looking down/belittling/bullying Aemond.

Again, with the dance with helaena, some would argue how chivalrous of Jace for feeling sorry for Heleana being alone but it was to piss off both Aegon & Aemond. Moving on, with the speech & then Luke laughing at the pig, Aemond loses his temper, rightly so. As all he was trying to do during the dinner was ignore them, both Jace & Luke have triggered him with the past, so he gives the infamous strong speech, to push back & give them a taste of their own medicine.

Jace is the one who then loses his temper & his first typical reaction when he does?? is to be physically violent & throws the first punch & which side does he purposely target?? Aemond’s blind/injured & vulnerable side of his face. The punch was laughable, Aemond didn’t even spill his drink & with one push was thrown down. Exactly like his younger behaviour showing no growth, he get back up & during this altercation, Luke had tried to join to gang up on Aemond again. So both brothers are unable to take the heat that they dish out & fight fairly 1 to 1, but, really what could’ve Luke have really done, lmao.

They should of known when they saw Aemond earlier that day in the courtyard training. At the time, it’s clear both strong boys didn’t know it was him (with the typical targaryen blonde hair they maybe could of mistaken him for Aegon) & were super impressed with his prowess/skill, before he turned around with the eyepatch & their faces said it all, like ‘oh shit’ & then soured that the person who they perceived weaker/beneath them during childhood is a skilled swordsman, unlike them. Another thing that Aemond has/is that the strong boys don’t to add to Jace’s list, alongside having both of a mix of a inferiority complex & superiority complex, a ‘sweet prince’ he is not.

#Hotd #hotd critical #anti team black #Anti jacaerys strong #Anti jacaerys #anti rhaenyra targaryen #aemond targaryen #pro aemond targaryen #pro team green #anti viserys i targaryen #anti lucerys velaryon #anti lucerys strong

[octuscle]

I feel like my life has been spiraling out of control as late. Like I have no path. I was hoping you get put me where I’m supposed to be. Really put me in my place for good. Whether I like it or not. Sometimes we just have to gift into destiny and become exactly what we have been fighting the whole time ? You know ?

I am impressed… I wouldn't have thought that you little arrogant piece of shit would be capable of so much self-reflection… You're a nuisance to your entire environment. And your contribution to society lies in committing shoplifting and extorting protection money from people who are clearly inferior to you.

Unfortunately, there are also people who are not inferior to you. People who are clearly superior to you. And with the help of these people, it will be possible to put you in your rightful place.

Miserable faggots, you think as the two guys in full leather get on the train. And wimps who buy tickets. Of course, you always travel without paying. But the sissies seem to have well-filled wallets. Actually, you should have got off long ago. But you never let your victims out of your sight. You're already looking forward to seeing them whimpering on their knees. Maybe you'll even let them suck your cock. These faggots can do that better than any hooker.

As they get out, you jump through the closing door at the last second. The two say goodbye on the platform with an intense French kiss. Hey, that'll be easier than stealing a lollipop from a kid. Your combat boots are a bit noisy on the tiled floor of the pedestrian tunnel. Sneakers would have been better now. But the leather fag in front of you doesn't seem to notice. You're almost at him and pull out your knife. And at that moment, your mouth is covered from behind with a leather glove.

"Son, do you really want to mess with the big boys?" you hear from behind. Your supposed victim turns around with a grin, takes a small bottle from the inside pocket of his creaking leather jacket, unscrews it and holds it under your nose. After that, you know nothing more…

Damn, how long have you been away? You have no memory. But judging by the length of your beard and hair, it's been a few days since you first got down on your knees in front of your masters and sucked their cocks… Wait a minute! You did what? And where the hell are you here? This is a windowless cellar hole with nothing but a toilet and a mattress. And why are you naked except for a chastity belt? And why do you know that this is a chastity belt? And why the hell does that dildo feel so good in your ass? You'd like to jerk off. But you can't reach your cock, so you have to play with your nipples. Shit, since when are they pierced?

You hear footsteps outside. You have to get out of here. You get ready. The door opens, one of the two leather gods is standing in the doorway. You want to jump at his neck. But your anklet stops you and you hit the floor. "Who's a bad boy?" asks your master. And holds a flask under your nose.

That was all months ago. You are loyal to your masters. Whether you're cleaning the toilets or serving as a piss toilet, you perform your duties devotedly. And if you've been good, you get to lick the boots of one of your masters. I hope you have found your destiny!

Pics of your new path found @skinheadlife and @hunkydude777

#submission #leather tf #reality change #male tf #top to bottom #straight to gay

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hey sex witch, so i really like the idea of having sex but the very few times i ever got close to actually having it, i panicked. like couldn’t even do it. and i really, REALLY want to lose my virginity (i’ll be 26 this year ffs) but as much as i like masturbating and fantasizing about sex, the reality of it scares the shit outta me.

i should also tell you i’m a bisexual cis woman who has some SERIOUS body image and self-esteem issues. i’m what one could consider fat and i believe in fat liberation but at the same time as many fat activists i follow on insta or whatever i can’t help but feel disgusting about my weight. and whenever someone is explicitly sexually attracted to me i can’t help but wonder if i’m their fetish.

i also have a best friend who is really sweet and supportive of me but when i hear her stories about having sex on prom night and having multiple orgasms with her girlfriend i can’t help but feel inadequate. why didn’t i have sex on prom night, you know? why am i missing out on all of this??

hell, it’s not even just that i’m a virgin- i’ve never even been kissed!!! and i’m going to stop soon because i’m just making myself upset but like…wtf happened??? shouldn’t i have gotten my first kiss in middle school and had sex in high school or college like everyone else??? i know i’m overthinking it but at this point it’s hard not to…

idk this is a lot to put on you so if you don’t even want to answer this i understand. i don’t want to make you uncomfortable. thank you anyway!

hi anon,

so the thing is that I need you, pretty immediately, to stop comparing yourself to other people. it very well may help with your self-image issues, but my concern is first and foremost that it will help deal with this massive inferiority complex you're rocking in regards to sexual experience.

you seem to be under the impression that it's abnormal to be a 26 year old who hasn't had sex or kissed anyone, and I guess I'm wondering why the fuck that matters when it sounds like sex is an extremely scary prospect for you. like idk babe, let's maybe focus on getting to a point where having sex doesn't make you panic before we worry about actually doing it, you know? at the moment, it sounds like sex would just be setting you up for a boatload of trauma.

having said that I guess I'd say that I can't tell you why you've missed out on all of this because, by your own description, you've panicked and been unable to go through with it any time you've gotten to close to having sex. that's probably, sincerely, a good thing; I'm not sure if you're under the impression that just sucking it up and forcing yourself to have sex would have improved your relationship with your sexuality, but I've found generally that's not the case.

(more often, it ends with people struggling to figure out how to regain literally any sense of ownership over their sexuality.)

so idk, let's do some self-reflection here. it sounds like you've opted out any time sex has been an option. why was that? were the partners unsuitable? was the situation not right? or was the idea of sex in and of itself just unbearable? in your mind, what would the ideal sexual encounter actually look like? is there one?

I'm deeply sorry if this sounds unsympathetic, but here's the thing: when someone tells me sex scares the shit out of them, I don't want that person to be having sex! there's no reason to put yourself through that kind of stress! what the fuck!

look: sexual development doesn't happen on any kind of age-related timeline. partnered sex is a thing that should happen when it's something you feel excited for, when you have someone that you like and trust to partner with. if those conditions haven't been met, there's no reason to be having sex. focus on literally anything that is in your control, like finding the things that help you feel more at ease with your body. you know the saying about how no one can love you until you love yourself? often misinterpreted and/or grossly oversimplified, but it seems dubious that you're going to want to actually let anyone have sex with you until your body isn't something you find disgusting, so it does apply.

#sex edventures 2023

[teabutmakeitazure]

Congrats on 300, you deserve it!! I really like your writing and I wanted to request Z - "Aren't you a strong one? Let's see how long you'll persist." with Dottore,

Feel free to ignore if motivation doesn't strike/you don't want to write it. I'll honestly eat any and all your content <3 Don't forget to hydrate yourself!!! And once again congrats :D

a/n: why would I ignore it >:( it's a nice prompt for a menacing man! Thanks for the reminder <3 I grabbed a glass of water right after reading that 🏃

>Yan! Dottore x Fem! Reader

Prompt: Z - Zinnia (endurance) "Aren't you a strong one? Let's see how long you'll persist."

Word count: ~0.8k

Nature cannot be rivalled by humanity. No matter how much humans may try to mimic something or improve it, nature will always prevail. What was made in a mother’s belly cannot be inferior to what was hand-made, even if it was specially carved by the hands of a genius. Humans have limits, but blessings don’t. Those are the products of nature and thus a guarantee of excellence.

So why did you have to fall ill and spend the rest of your life on medication? High society of Snezhnaya has no shortage of mora, the main reason your parents weren’t worried. However, it proved to be useless because all the doctors from all over Teyvat had said the same thing.

“There’s nothing that can be done. Adequate rest and some risky, albeit strong, medicine should help keep her stable."

No one knew what was wrong with you, but the strange doctor with the bird-like mask did. He knew. It's probably because he caused it. You wouldn't be surprised if he managed to sneak something into your drink, like a poison or such, in the brief meeting you had with him at an opening party.

You sometimes find yourself thinking back to it. It all went downhill from there, with you ending up as a labrat and all. Who knew the daughter of a wealthy family of Snezhnayan high society could end up like this? Engaged to and imprisoned by the same man.

Money and ambition really is the deadliest combination in the world. To a man who possesses both, arrogance and insanity are permanently part of him.

"I told you to get up."

For people like you, defiance and stubbornness are the only means of survival. Even if it means being berated and insulted and hurt.

"Don't waste my time, my little labrat."

No movement from your side and he crouches down to your form, hair scattered about as you lay on the floor. Whatever he gave you under the pretence of water was definitely not water. Who knew he could make his concoctions tasteless? Maybe you should dare him for some poison.

A finger pokes your form and you realise that your tongue feels heavy. You can hardly move a muscle and it's taking a lot to even breathe. This sucks.

"Ah, it seems like I kept the dose too strong. My apologies." With no remorse, he just throws you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and moves you from your previous seat on the chair to the bed, lovingly tucking you in. With a pat to your cheek, he checks for consciousness again.

Surprisingly, your eyes shoot open and you send him the nastiest glare you could manage. Laughter bubbles from his throat as he mockingly cups your cheek, tongue licking his lips. You know where this is going. He’s going to play with you more, watch you suffer and then finally give you some medicine. It’s aggravating and insulting and-

“Eviscerating me with your eyes? I must say, that is a bold move, not that you could get away with it if you did. How does it feel? The brief feeling of satisfaction that flows through you, flooding your senses, when you imagine me in a pool of my own blood? Splendid? Or does it make you feel guilty for being no better than me?”

“I’m not obliged to answer your bullshit.”

“Oh come on,” he whines, hand sliding down to your collarbone, “is that any way to talk to your betrothed?”

“Is this any way you treat your betrothed?”

“Why yes! All life is temporary. Why not have your fun while it lasts?”

He shifts, now completely on the bed. With a titter, his hand starts working on the buttons on your blouse but before he could far, you muster up all your strength and grab his wrist, jerking it away. This is a line you don’t want him to cross. He can torture you all he wants with whatever chemicals he mixes, but you will never let him violate you. Not when you can stop it.

The wrist you jerked away is casted looks of bewilderment and surprise as his head slowly turns to face you, infuriating smile widening.

“Aren’t you a strong one? Let’s see how long you’ll persist. That new concoction was supposed to keep your muscles relaxed for at least an hour, but look at you! Already somewhat immune to this one already.”

Sheets shuffle as he gets up, hastily heading for the door of your sad room. Ironically, he stops dead in his tracks when you mutter a ‘finally’, turning around to face your form on the bed.

“Don’t worry. I’ll be back soon with another drink.”

#genshin impact x reader #yandere genshin x reader #yandere genshin impact #yandere genshin impact x reader #genshin imagines #dottore x reader #yandere dottore #yandere dottore x reader #yandere x reader

[mymarifae]

hey it’s the writing anon from a while ago ^_^ read your thread on akito and kashika and i’d like to say THANK YOU for recognizing that kashika doesn’t have to be read so literally when looking at akito as a character 😭

it is genuinely a little jarring to see people go “oh he canonically wants to die hahaha” and leave it at that when he’s really been on a path of healthy growth for a while as of burn my soul … please!! he’s found a way out of the mindset of survival and desperation, he’s grown to love what he’s doing without so much of the fear of being left behind and his storied “future” is more within his grasp than ever, because he’s let his partners in and is more willing to lean on them, growing alongside them

i’m not saying we should disregard what he’s gone through in the past but i’ve also noticed it’s a bit of a trend within people interpreting akito to attribute his past actions to his current self— like i STILL see people bring his actions in main story and use that as their baseline for how he is as a character when it’s…. just not that true anymore. yes he’s kind of an asshole but he’s also learned that he has a place within vbs and that he loves his groupmates and they love him :(

anyway thank you :) your thread was a very good read!

omg hi again !!

yes it really seems like a good chunk of the prsk fandom struggles with like... acknowledging character development. i'm not entirely sure what it is, but it's insane to see how many people treat these characters like they're static figures. it's one thing to revisit past events and explore avenues colopale didn't take, and build upon the things they neglected (or just re-build entirely where they fucked up). it's another to look at everything akito is doing Now and respond to it with "he's about to overwork himself and go into another long spiral isn't he. oh look he got a line in beyond the way with the word 'die' in it he must still be suicidal and struggling with his inferiority complex oh no 😱" LIKE

akito has come so, so, SO far. his development means the world to me !!!! it has been so amazing to see this scared, self-conscious, bitter, traumatized kid grow into someone who is Confident and Passionate and Excited and Bright. he's grown!! he's learned!! we see him reaffirm multiple times in other events that he's not going to go down the same path he did in SBD - other characters will see him still practicing or about to go for a run or whatever and check in on him and he always tells them he knows better now. because he does! he's not just saying that !!!!

it took him some time to adjust, but he knows vivid bad squad has his back. kotaro has his back. ken-san has his back. ena has his back. hell even arata and tsukasa fucking tenma have his back. he knows he has a support system now ! these are people who want him by their side, and no they're not going to leave him when he stumbles and falls behind; they'll simply pull him back up and they'll just keep moving forward. Together.

and citing kashika as confirmation that he's (still) suicidal is crazy because that's not what the song is about? it's about him reflecting on his past and all the shitty things he went through that caused him to develop that bitter inferiority complex he struggled with for so long. and how he's starting to feel ready to move on from it all. even from haruryo's perspective, in which all the lines about wanting to die are literal, kashika is still a very, very, very positive song !! it's still about moving forward and allowing your love of music (or [insert personal Love of choice here]) to help you through dark times. it's not a song about wanting to kill yourself; it's a song about wanting to live.

idk this all is just super important to me because i am all about stories about growth and healing and recovery. and it's frustrating to glance at the prsk fandom and see people squandering these beautiful stories for... i don't even know what or why 😭

#say it with me kids: a character doesn't lose what makes them interesting just because they go through a period of immense positive growth #it's okay to let them display that growth when you write and draw and talk about them #and if you find yourself not liking a character after a period of growth and you cling to their pre-development self #you probably never actually liked that character in the first place. and you should go sit with that for a bit #mailbox

[indieyuugure]

Hi, I just wanted to say that your comic is awesome and I really like that you imagine Rise Raph as the leader still, sometimes I feel like the only person who feels this way.

Don't get me wrong, Rise Leo is a good leader, but I actually liked seeing him being much more laid back compared to other versions of Leo and not be the leader for once, Leo in general deserves to relax as a character and Rise finally gave us that. In the Rise movie, Leo overcame his inferiority complex, became a more responsible team member and got to finally understand how hard it is to lead as seen by his speech to Raph, I imagine that he gave the leadership title back to Raph or decided to help him lead. And nobody's interpretation is wrong, Raph was shown to still lead in the film and the leadership status was very ambiguous, which I really like!

Anyways, that's enough of my rambling, I just really like Rise Raph as a leader because he's very good at it despite what some fans tend to say. Keep up the great work, I'm very excited to see what you have in store for us :D

Thank you very much! I’m glad you’re enjoying the comic! :]

Somedays I totally feel the same! Like, seriously, does NO ONE else think that Raph would still be the leader? When I first watched the movie, I actually didn’t think Leo was in charger, lol! Like I’m just saying, if Leo had been leader for even a couple of months, I don’t think he would have sucked as bad as he did in the beginning of the movie. Idk, I just feel like everyone took that 10 second clip on the last episode WAY too seriously, lol.

I think too after something as traumatic as the Krang Invasion, the last thing they’d want to do is do something new and different. Often times, people who experience something traumatic/extremely unpleasant and different, the first thing they want is to be in a familiar environment where everything is how it always is. But that’s just with specifically war trauma, i don;t know about emotional trauma, though.

Thank you for your question! I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels Rise Raph should continue being leader. I think Leo does too :]

[drill-teeth-art]

happy Be Nice to Me Wednesday! bc youre having a bad day, i wanted to tell yall about how you helped me gain confidence in my art style.

when i do digital art, i draw with the polyline tool. this used to be bc i couldn't afford a new tablet after my old one broke, but ive actually grown quite attached to it, and now i wouldn't go back if given the choice. anyway, when i first started doing this, i felt really insecure about it--like i had to draw extra well to make up for the deficit of not using a brush tool.

however, last year, i found your account. i know you don't use the polyline tool (some of the lineless art you do you might use it though--good bi gender for example), but your art style is very angular, and uses a lot of bright colors--just like mine! and yalls art is so fricking cool--its the kind of art people wanna chew on, bounce like a ball, dive into--its art that inspires real, powerful, emotion! so realizing that my art had traits in common, traits that i appreciated in your work--well, it made me feel a lot less inferior to artists who use more traditional tools. and now i'm actually super proad of my art style :D

It might make you excited to know I use the polyline tool very frequently in my own work!

And thank you for sharing this with me. I don’t have a lot of energy atm, but this makes me really happy to hear. And I’m glad you’re proud of your own work. You should be.

#ask #otto thoughts

[thatsonemorbidcorvid]

Have you ever been to therapy? Any tips on how to find a therapist who isn't a misogynist/trapped in the fucking 1950's?

I am traumatized by female therapists and social workers.... the invalidation, the gaslighting, and the blaming.... they remind me of my damn mother; denying male violence, and viewing me, a woman traumatized by male violence to the point I have alchohol use disorder, ptsd, severe insomnia, ocd, adhd, anxiety, sucidial feelings, sex repulsion, etc, as inferior and as a joke and judge me for being single and not having a bf, no empathy for my pain.

I am breaking up with a current therapist, and I know folks say therapy isn't needed... but I need brainspotting or emdr... I don't sleep and am severely suicidal and scared of people. I need therapy, and feel re-traumatized by my therapis.

my father sexually abused me for 20 years and prevented me from experiencing romantic love.

she would ignore me and read while I was talking, until I said "I am sad I did not experience romantic love." she said it could happen at any age.

when I described limerence and romantic obsession (over a boy I was trying to date in secret, but didn't work out because I was my father's property in his mind and he was threatening to take and send nude photos of me to him.. I was 15, the boy I was dating was 15....) I told her I would imagine we had worked out, and she expressed she thought it was healthy I was fantasizing about this

basically, my trauma to her is attention seeking, and wasn't that bad, I talk too much, and just need a bf. I have experienced suicidal ideation over this therapist, and am scared to seek therapy again.

I myself want to be a therapist, because most therapists are misogynists and I really wanted to be the one who wasn't. I feel haunted

Hi anon,

This sounds really hard, and I’m so sorry you’re going through it all. It sounds like you should definitely stop seeing this therapist, since she isn’t helping and is in fact making you feel worse. Well done for making the decision to disentangle yourself from a situation that is harmful to you, and well done for all you’ve done so far. It’s really admirable that you’re considering entering a field that’s harmed you in order to help others (though don’t feel pressured to commit to that plan if you begin to feel differently).

I don’t feel able to give you specific advice about finding a new therapist, particularly since I don’t know whereabouts in the world you are (and please don’t feel any pressure to share that information) so I don’t know how the system works near you. What I would recommend, if you can manage it yourself or have someone help you, is to establish your boundaries up front when contacting new options, and trust your judgement of their response. If you make it clear up front that you have certain requirements and expectations from therapy - bearing in mind that you should have the power in that relationship, since they are there to help you - and get push back or mistreatment up front, then don’t waste any more of your time with that therapist, just move on to the next. Maybe you could send the same initial email out to multiple people, and then read through and consider the responses as they come in? And if any get through that stage, you can treat the first appointment as another screen, and end the arrangement at any time if you feel it’s necessary. You’re looking for a professional to provide you a service - if you wouldn’t accept a shoddy plumber or builder, you shouldn’t accept a shoddy therapist. Well done again for putting your foot down on the current one.

With regard to finding a list of potentials, maybe see if you can find any recommendations, or consider contacting a local women’s charity to see if they have any preferred options. I’m going to open this to the community and ask them to weigh in with advice and recommendations as well - I hope that’s ok. Radblr women, please interact if you have any knowledge or experience to share.

In terms of the immediate short term - please stick around, and please reach out for help from those who can provide it to you directly, whether that be professional or personal connections. With regard to commencing therapy with a new therapist - take your time, and have faith in yourself to know what’s best for you. You can do anything you set your mind to. Good luck xx

[i-did-not-mean-to]

F - Flowers

💝Happy birthday baby💝

@sorisooyaa, my darling girl, here is a story just for you!

Words: 782

Characters: Haldir x OC

Warnings: Age gap, insecurity

Haldir kneaded the poor flowers he was holding mercilessly.

He felt woefully out of place on the fancy college campus; usually, he and his beloved met in his flat or went to a restaurant out of town, but he had felt that it was important to her that he was invested and present in her day-to-day life as well.

Of course, he was aware of how laughable the feeling of embarrassment creeping up his throat was—he was a man grown and should not have been intimidated by a few college students walking to their next class, but he couldn’t help feeling like an intruder.

This was one of the downsides of an honest man falling helplessly in love with a woman much younger than him—he lived in the constant fear of being called a predator or of being thought of as someone who wanted to dominate his partner.

The truth of the matter was that he admired the woman he loved more than words could say; she was brilliant and kind and he was a lucky man to have won her heart.

Being a man of few words, Haldir was unfortunately patently incapable of explaining these things to others which, of course, made his insecurity only worse.

“Haldir,” she cried, visibly surprised, as she exited the old building like a breath of fresh air chasing away the cobwebs of their dignified surroundings.

Her dark hair was neatly tied back, and her eyes flashed with pleasure as she walked towards him without a moment’s hesitation; clearly, she did not share his worries for there was an undeniable expression of pride falling over her beautiful face as she tilted it up in expectation of a demure kiss.

“My love,” he sighed and presented her with the flowers. “I took the afternoon off, and I thought I might wait for you?”

“Oh, I can skip the last class,” she immediately said, but he shook his head. He had come to make her understand how proud he was of her and how much he wanted to be a full part of her life.

“No,” he articulated meticulously. “I will go to the library and read a book while waiting for you and maybe, we can go to that book shop you’ve been talking about so much later? Have dinner somewhere around there?”

“But…” she replied hesitatingly, “there might be other students. I thought you were uncomfortable with all that…I mean, I don’t want you to feel unhappy about having to do silly, childish stuff like that. I can go there another day.”

Haldir’s fist tightened around the bouquet he was still mistreating unconsciously.

“It’s your choice, if you’d rather not be seen with an old man…”

“No,” she cried out passionately. “That is not at all what I meant to say; I’d be honoured to have you accompany me—and carry my purchases in your strong arms.” She winked. “Nonetheless, I don’t want you to force yourself.”

The tight smile he had been trying to keep up mellowed into a more sincere expression of affection and gratitude.

“I’d be lying if I said that I don’t feel like I’m sticking out like a sore thumb,” he confessed, “but you are worth a bit of insecurity and discomfort. I am a tad older—and much less intelligent—than you, that’s a fact, and it’s silly to want to hide that forever. Sooner or later, people will know…We can’t very well be married all on our own, can we?”

It had been a joke to ease the tension, but her enigmatic, deep eyes grew soft with emotion almost instantly. “Do you really mean that? You and me, forever?”

“Of course,” he immediately confirmed. “I love you too much to let something as irrelevant as people’s prejudices and my own inferiority come between us.”

“You are being rather silly right now,” she chuckled, “for you are the best man I’ve ever met and I thank my lucky stars every day for having conquered you. I am not in the least ashamed of you and neither should you be.”

Taking the flowers, she hugged them to her chest tenderly. “I’ll find you after my class then? Not that I’ll pay much attention now that I know that a wonderful afternoon with you is waiting for me on the other end of that dreadful lecture.”

“Be good, my little bird,” he whispered, “I am so honoured to call you mine.”

Tears of emotion collected on her lower lashes like dew on a flower petal and he wiped them away carefully before lifting her hand to his lips.

“I love you,” he repeated insistently, “and I’ll be waiting for you!”

@fellowshipofthefics Here is the last one then!

Thank you to everyone who was with me for this ride!

@sorisooyaa I love you so much, my darling baby, and I am so endlessly proud of you! You're such a gem and such a light in my life! I am wishing you only the very best!

Here's a honey bunny for you ❤️

Lots of love from me

-> Masterlist

#og post #IDNMT writes #fanfiction #writing #Haldir x OC #Haldir #tolkien writing #jrrt #LOTR #April Alphabet #fotfics april alphabet #fellowshipofthefics #F #Flowers #Happy bday baby

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hello, hope you’re having a good summer break. I’m an intp who’s probably been overcompensating for and overworking Fe, and I don’t really know how to ask for help.

I feel like I’ve come a long way in terms of emotional intelligence since my teenage years - mostly stopped feeling worthless, more action and task-oriented, reaching out to make new friends and care for close ones, and they’ve responded by saying I’m much more understanding and emotionally stable now, even coming off as extroverted - but it doesn’t keep me from feeling lonely. I’ve spoken with friends about feeling sad and unsupported, they would respond by saying they understand, but truth is I barely feel the connection. I’m happy for their company, they just don’t seem able to share my burdens, which are objectively my own. It feels like I’ve overworked myself so now my psyche is demanding that someone else take care of my emotions instead of me doing the work myself. A very subjective internal temper tantrum.

With my infp partner, I’m in this loop where I can sense she’s sad/anxious/unfulfilled, she wouldn’t talk about it because she couldn’t put it into words and also doesn’t feel the need to do so either, I could either try to cheer her up or accept that she’s in her own emotional state and simply wants company. I know and she confirmed that she’s lost interest in many of our common hobbies, but will feel sad if I pull myself away from her for alternative stimulation. But I need stimulation even if she doesn’t. I’ve expressed that simply sharing some of her life and thoughts takes a huge weight off my chest, I love hearing from her, but she insists there simply isn’t any event or thought she could share. I can talk, and she will respond happily. It’s just so draining especially since we’re long distance right now and can only communicate in words. It almost feels easier if I could just be obliviously content to talk to her about anything like I was several years ago.

I’m hoping that taking a vacation from work and study to go home will help me focus more on the things I love (reading, drawing, creating and experiencing life in ways that stimulate my brain) although it does mean a lot more time spent staying with family and other new social circles as well, which could also be a mixed bag.

--------------------

When you're in touch with Fe, it makes you more aware of your emotional needs. This is not a bad thing, but it can be a hard thing when you haven't yet learned the best ways to fulfill them. You say your self-worth has improved, which I take to mean that you see your emotional/social needs as legitimate and yourself as deserving of support? Believing you deserve love is the first step for many people.

Because Fe is the inferior function, it's safer to get to it through the auxiliary function whenever possible. For example, using Ne, are you able to visualize the ideal social interaction/communication/relationship that would help you feel more supported and loved? If you were granted control over other people for a short time, what would you make them do to better fulfill your needs? This visualization might give you a more precise idea of what you ought to be requesting of the people around you.

You seem to be implying that this romantic relationship is putting you in a difficult position of having to choose between you and her? I don't think that's the case. While I agree it is sad to feel forced to seek stimulation outside the relationship, a healthy romantic relationship should allow space for such a move. It is unhealthy to believe that one person can/should satisfy your every need. Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Healthy couples should be able to live satisfying lives together... and apart.

I think a good way of looking at the situation is you have a need but she, for whatever reason, isn't capable of fulfilling it. It's nobody's fault but just the reality of the situation. It sounds like she's not as emotionally available as you would like, or not in the way you would like. Maybe when you first met, you didn't realize you needed emotional availability, but now you do. This doesn't mean the relationship has to end, though choosing a new partner better suited to your needs is always an option. When the things that brought you together no longer work to keep you together, then you have to find some other way to remain bonded. Relationships can evolve over time. You also need to come to an agreement that it's okay to get some of your needs fulfilled outside of the relationship. Be honest and transparent about every move.

It sounds like you've imposed an obstacle on yourself and now feel stuck because you really want it to be her to fulfill this need of yours. The fact is, no matter how much you want it, it isn't her. Face the fact and move forward accordingly. Grant yourself permission to take proper care of yourself.

#intp #inferior fe #self care #emotional needs #ask

[astralm00ns]

hey

did

did you also know i run a fandub for another au of mine

i present midnight x wrongdoings x starfall!! (or abbreviated to mxwxs)

main premise is spy / phantom thief with two main teams

first is daybreak starfall, consisting of l/n, harushizu, toyahane, and kanaena. (oh yeah let me mention no ships are canon i’m just grouping them to make it easier) a spy organization started by saki, she did this since tsukasa had gone supposedly missing after an argument that the tenmas had with one another. saki wants to bring tsukasa back as she misses him dearly, and the two both have their regrets over what happened that day. over time a total of 9 others also being reported as such. also there’s been a lot of crime going on recently..like way way more than usual, typically left with signs from our second group here which i’ll mention in a bit. this only strengthened saki’s reasoning to recruit people she knew to help out.

now the group causing all these problems is known as midnight x moonlight, a group of phantom thieves. each missing person? yeah they’re right here. wxs, minoai, akian, and mafumizu. commuting a whole bunch of crimes and generally making life a little more i convenient for the people around them.

now regarding its formation, mxm has more depth than ds but that’s mostly since it was partially because of mxm that ds even formed in the first place, anyways getting into that

tsukasa hasn’t exactly been the best lately, like his method actor thing isn’t going as well as it once was, like he just can’t remember shit when it comes to more dynamic roles that he’s been receiving as of recent, he’s had a lot more circumstances of facing his inferiority to certain things, not even just acting, overall just not really having it. and lately the tenmas have been a bit more distant, each trying to be more focused on the things going on between their units. though tsukasa one day blinded by his emotions, snaps at saki after she tries to check on him and see if he needs help. he ends up running away not wanting to even look saki in the face anymore after what he did, and then yeah. a new hatsune miku right in his phone, not wxs miku, entirely new one. basically because of the passions breaking the sekais broke along with them. and now with these new feelings and goals each for the tenmas, two new sekais have formed for their respective groups. so this miku would be the one for mxm talking to tsukasa. she’s a little piss boy and tries guilting him into believing that "y’know you really are cool and people should know that you know…give them a reason to know you heheherre"

at first he’s really against it and really, really contemplative, and even after he forms it he still debates it, but he has fun with it ig over time, but even then he still isn’t sure whether or not he could have found a different resolve

anyways regarding the dub itself,

with me in specific i’m the director, tsukasa va, also an artist and writer for it

va positions are all taken but staff positions are open, also understudies might open depending on certain vas

our staff roles are artists, writers, editors, and composers

so if you’d like to join, y’know, uh….

https://discord.gg/KYQrMrbFfq (just copy/paste it tumblr isn’t letting me use the link thing cueueue..)

^ very simplified doodle of tsukasa in the au

anyways gn starting school tmr

#project sekai #tsukasa tenma #wxs tsukasa #wonderlands x showtime #wxs #tenma tsukasa #pjsekai #prsk #leo/need #tenma saki #saki tenma #l/n #l/n saki

[thatfreshi]

You Shouldn't Feel Inferior to Anyone or Anything (Markiplier x reader)

(This was a request in my dms!) I finally have some time to write thank god djsbnsnznsksk. Anyways, you work in a support job and you feel a little insecure about how many people you help, especially compared to your boyfriend. Comfort fic, happy ending :)

It was Monday morning, a dreaded time for pretty much ninety-nine percent of the population. Although Mark’s schedule doesn’t live by the same constraints yours does, he does get sad that the weekend is over, that you have to leave once again. Sure, he gets out of the house, but he’d rather stay in with you than bike around by himself.

“Good morning my love.”

He goes to pull you in, as if he can hold you back from the call of your alarm, as if his desperate attempts to keep you home will stop the call of work. You too weren’t very excited to leave today. Although you love your job, it’s been a little draining recently, but even more than that, it’s made you insecure.

“Good morning.”

You turned to give him a kiss, feeling guilty for a moment that he happens to be the source of your insecurity. It’s hard to explain, considering your jobs are so different, yet so similar. In day-to-day tasks, it may be varied, but at the end of the day you both still help people, and it seems like the millions he reaches will always be better than the few you get to help. He could tell that something was off as you stared into the distance, lost in thought.

“Hey, you just woke up. No need to think so hard just yet.”

You chuckle under your breath.

“Yeah, wish it was that simple.”

“No really, what is it?”

You pause, trying to find a way to word the guilt, that somehow your work doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things.

“I… I don’t know, I feel weird about work.”

“How so?”

“Like, like it doesn’t matter.”

He almost looks shocked.

“What do you mean it doesn’t matter? Your job is SO important, like crazy important. You know how many people would never choose to work in a support job?”

“Yeah, but even so sometimes I can’t help people, and it feels like you do so much more.”

“I just make stuff y/n, that’s all. If people resonate with it that’s on them. You made a choice to help people, I didn’t. So what if I have a wider reach? You’re braver, stronger.”

“I wouldn’t say braver, and you do beat me in every arm wrestle we’ve ever done.”

He laughs, you smile at each other.

“I’m serious. I don’t think I could do what you do. You should be proud of that, that you’re one of the only people in the world who made the choice to help other people.”

“Well, you should be proud too.”

You run your hands through his hair.

“I know, and I am. But it’s not about me right now, is it?”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

He sits up, pulling you up with him.

“So, instead of begging you to call in sick, you’re going to go get ready and help people, because that’s what you do, and you’re not gonna feel the slightest bit insecure about it.”

You sigh dramatically.

“Ugh, god forbid I have to go do something I planned on doing and went to school for. Really though, thank you.”

“Of course. You shouldn’t have to feel inferior to anyone or anything my love.”

And so you went to work, and kicked ass by the way. You knew deep down he was right, that in the grand scheme of things your job did matter, you just had to remind yourself, and sometimes Mark had to remind you instead, but he was willing to do it time and time again.

#markiplier #markiplier x reader #comfort

[borhaprequiem]

A Daydream Dressed Like a Nightmare

Fandom: Master Detective Archives: Rain Code Rating: 13+ for some crude language Major Characters: Halara Nightmare, Desuhiko Thunderbolt, original nonbinary character Words: 1,074

Summary: A Master Detective who greatly looks up to their colleague Halara Nightmare gets the opportunity of a lifetime...and perhaps a bit more than they bargained for.

Author's note: wrote this self-indulgent fanfic a while ago, it's about my self insert getting disguised as Halara with the help of Desuhiko ofc. i wrote it while i was in the middle of chapter 2 so some details probably aren't 100% accurate, and i never got around to rewriting them lol. i have so many gender feels for halara...

also i am not a sw*ftie i just needed a title and came up with one in like 30 seconds

Please read my bio before following.

It was yet another cold, dark, rainy day in Kanai Ward, where a small group of Master Detectives was called to investigate an important mystery. Thankfully, to those inside the Nocturnal Detective Agency—a cozy submarine situated in the local river—getting wet wouldn’t be an issue at all.

Juno Quantum, one of said Master Detectives, groggily walked into the main room of the Agency. They were never an early riser, or the most punctual when it came to arriving at meetings, and the softness of the hotel bed was just too much to resist—they just had to sleep for another 10 minutes, which became 30 before they knew it. But now they were here, at least. Though, no one else was—except Desuhiko Thunderbolt.

Juno never got the best vibes from Desuhiko. Apart from having a massive ego, he often seemed to be thinking with the wrong head, and Juno was just glad they managed to pass as “not female” enough to evade his eye. And now that they had seemingly no choice but to interact with him, they sure hoped it would remain true.

“Hey, Desuhiko,” they greeted. “Where did everyone else go?”

“Oh!” he replied. “The chief sent everyone out on their missions and then went out himself to get breakfast. He’ll probably be back soon to give you yours, if that’s what you’re wondering.

“…Then what are you doing here?”

Desuhiko sighed. “He put me on cleaning duty today. After that rookie Yuma complained about having to do it all the time. I mean, I’m the Master Detective here! With one of the most awesome Fortes, to boot! Why should I ever get stuck picking up after some guy?!”

On one hand, Juno wanted to shuffle to the other corner of the room and stop talking to this guy immediately. But on the other…they were curious about something.

“So, your Forte…how does it work again?”

As expected, Desuhiko’s eyes glimmered at the chance to show off. “You see this backpack over here? It’s filled with alllll sorts of stuff for my disguises. Not only can I change my clothes, but also my face, voice, and body shape! Isn’t it amazing!”

Juno nodded and smiled. “Impressive indeed, but…can you disguise other people as well? Or just yourself?”

“Yep, I can make anyone look like anyone! Well, except for the voice, you’re on your own for that part. I’ve only managed to hone that skill after lots of practice and training.”

“Anyone, huh?” Now Juno was really intrigued. “So, theoretically, would you be able to make me look like, say…Halara?”

It was simply the first name that popped into their head, but it wasn’t without reason. Halara Nightmare was one of the coolest, most confident, and arguably most capable Master Detectives on the team. Juno greatly admired them from afar, even if their cold personality made them seem nigh unapproachable. Plus, as the other nonbinary detective here, their mere presence helped Juno feel less out of place. 

But also, Halara was just…pretty. Their piercing pink eyes, their silky white hair, their tall and slender frame…It wasn’t a stretch to say that Juno had massive “gender envy” for them. They simply felt…inferior standing next to them with their plain black hair and their diminutive figure that was a bit too curvy for their liking.

Desuhiko’s voice snapped Juno out of their thoughts. “Halara, huh? Easy. Practically have their look burned into my brain at this point. Hey, in fact—I can show you right now if ya want! C’mere!”

“Wait, r-really?!” Before Juno could properly react, Desuhiko had already grabbed them by the arm and pulled them into the massive backpack sitting next to them, zipping it up completely once they were inside.

It was completely dark, and Juno wasn’t completely sure what exactly Desuhiko was doing to them. But after being jostled around in there for a while, the zipper was finally opened again and Juno led back outside.

Upon looking down at themself, they instantly noticed they were wearing Halara’s signature coat—navy with a neon yellow lining. And they swore everything around them was higher before…

“Ta-da!” Desuhiko cheered, looking proud of himself. “So, whaddya think?” He held up a mirror right up to the person in front of him.

As soon as they saw their reflection, they gasped, hoping their pink-tinged cheeks weren’t too obvious. They looked exactly like Halara, down to the smallest detail—it was incredible. Juno ran their hands along their new form, smiling as they noticed their flatter chest and thinner hips. For once, they actually felt comfortable in their body.

“Yeah, it’s—it’s amazing.” Juno winced upon hearing their own awkward voice coming out of goddamn Halara Nightmare’s mouth, but hey, at least everything was perfect in the visual department.

Before they could think of what to do next, though, they heard footsteps, and then the door burst open. Chief Yakou was back, panting.

“Desuhiko! Just—forget about the cleaning for now, come with me, it’s urgent. And Halara—I don’t know what you’re doing here, but good to see you!”

Juno couldn’t bring themself to speak up and tell Yakou what had happened—they were worried about getting them and Desuhiko into any sort of trouble for messing around with the disguise kit. So instead, they just awkwardly waved.

Meanwhile, though, Desuhiko had nearly started sweating bullets. “Uhh, can it wait a bit? I kinda…got something to deal with.”

“There’s no time! And—make sure to bring the backpack.”

“Fiiiiine.” Desuhiko groaned as he hoisted it on his back. As he passed Juno, he whispered, “I’ll try to be back as soon as possible. Just—play it cool until then, okay?”

Juno nodded back. Welp, they were going to be stuck like this for a while. It didn’t sound too bad, though…they looked just like the coolest detective in the agency now. Maybe they could just enjoy being them for the day. Yeah, that sounded good…as long as they made sure not to run into the real Halara.

“By the way, Halara,” Yakou continued. “If you see Juno anywhere, can you bring them back here and tell them they’re on cleaning duty now? Forget about them being insanely late, I-I just hope they’re okay. That they haven’t been kidnapped by the Peacekeepers or anything.”

Juno simply nodded again.

#📝 writing #🟡 rating: 13+ #📚 media: master detective archives: rain code #🦋 human to human #🦋 nonbinary to nonbinary #🦋 instant/offscreen transformation

[esotl]

Performance - Chapter 10 (Part 19)

Writer: Akira

Season: Spring

Characters: Hokuto, Wataru

Translation Directory

She once told me something when we were together on stage - that performers and authors are only fully qualified once they have followers.

Time: Spring Last Year

Location: Inside a Train

Hokuto: ……

(…Ah, how inconvenient. I dozed off.)

(Where am I now? According to the announcement, we're at a station that's rather far from my destination...)

(It's not like me to oversleep.)

(This is no good. I let my guard down too much, even though I was aiming for a perfect attendance reward.)

(I'm the class representative, I need to diligently go to school.)

(Well, even if I attend class, I won't be able to learn anything worthwhile... is something I could conclude, but.)

(It's not pointless. No helping it, I'll get off at the next stop and head back.)

Wataru: Ho~ku. To. Kun♪

Hokuto: ...Ah, President Hibiki, good morning. Why are you also riding this train? Isn't Yumenosaki in the other direction?

Wataru: My, I really can't surprise you at all. I expected it, but it's still disappointing.

Hokuto: My bad. I'm used to seeing bewildering things, so I think I'm a bit desensitised.

Wataru: As expected from a thoroughbred of the acting world. From my point of view, your environment is envious, you know? It must be exciting every day, is it not?

Hokuto: No, it's normal.

Wataru: Right. It would be normal for you, wouldn't it?

Hokuto: What do you mean... Stop pestering me, it's annoying. We shouldn't be whispering on a train.

Wataru: Sob sob. Even though you used to follow me around to the point it was an annoyance when you first joined the club...

Perhaps you've recently lost all interest in me, and become cold.

Fufu. Despite not remembering a single technique no matter how much you're taught, you ask the same thing over and over again without getting discouraged, and so...

I found you to be a pain.

But it feels lonely for you to not ask for my guidance anymore.

Hokuto: Hmph... That's because the more I learn from you, the more I feel the difference in our abilities, and end up at a loss.

I figured I'd grasp the basics first, so I've been studying various things.

Wataru: You truly are good at pretending to work hard. Even though no-one will scold you for not taking it step-by-step, or for skipping the process to reach the conclusion.

You can acquire other skills that way, you know?

Hokuto: Pretending to work hard, huh... I suppose that's how a mediocre person like me looks to you.

Wataru: What are you sulking about? I'm sure you're also a genius of some sort, though I'm unsure in what area.

However, "genius" is a special type of flower whose cultivation methods differ from person to person, so there's a chance it won't sprout through normal means.

Tomatoes and watermelons are similar, but ultimately different; you are a watermelon that wishes to grow like a tomato.

Someday, your stem is going to break with a snap♪

Hokuto: I don't understand what you're talking about.

Wataru: Well, that's fine. This is just idle chit-chat without any real meaning, after all.

Hokuto: Chatting is a waste of time. It'd be better spent reading a book.

Wataru: Books may have truths written in them, but they're never the genuine thing.

In this world, the answers to any question that exists are infinite, or human.

Therefore, you should enjoy the actual process of connecting with people, and repeatedly asking questions.

Hokuto: President. ...I don't really care, but stop pointlessly pulling at my braid.

Wataru: No~ I feel some kind of affinity with it.

Are you copying me? I'm happy if so~ we look just like brothers♪

Hokuto: I don't want a brother like you, I'd end up comparing myself to you and getting an inferiority complex.

...When I first entered the school and said I was going to join the Drama Club, my mother tied it for me.

For some reason or another, I've kept it up. Tying it each and every day is a pain.

Wataru: Aah... it's your mother's work, is it? She's got quite the discerning eye.

Fufu. She once told me something when we were together on stage - that performers and authors are only fully qualified once they have followers.

Hokuto: Followers...?

Wataru: People who mimic your style, and imitate your work.

It's a common occurence for something to become popular, and then have an overflow of similar works trying to recreate that success.

The ones who spring up like that are followers, and only once they're born are you a full-fledged performer...

And I still have none, so I was denounced as being half-baked.

Hokuto: Are you on bad terms with my parents, President Hibiki?

Wataru: I wonder? I took it as a loving pep talk, as all other people did was praise me as a superior genius.

"That's not true," she said, "you're still an inexperienced novice"…

When your mother laughed scornfully at me, I felt like I'd been saved.

[Act 7 • Directory • Chapter 11]

#enstars translation #ensemble stars #hokuto hidaka #wataru hibiki #enstars #ensemble stars translation #performance! the tragicomedy of romeo and juliet

[joe9cool]

Collide-Justin Herbert-13

Sara woke up on her side, large arms wrapped around her. She grabbed her phone and saw that it was late,

Really late, 9:34am

"Shit!" She tried to release herself, but that was difficult when her six foot six boyfriend pulled her back towards him. "Justin, you're late." He groaned. "No I'm not, I don't have to be there till twelve."

"But the traffic?" She felt light kisses on her neck. "I'll just run a bit late then." He moaned. She felt his erection against her and she moaned as well.  Sara tilted her head back and met Justin's lips in a passionate kiss. While doing this, his hand crept up her shirt and began to play with her nipple. Her hand reached behind her and slipped into his underwear and took out his erection. Slowly she began to stroke him. He broke the kiss. "Ah fuck" he muttered, the sound sending a pang to her core.

Sara turned on her back and opened her legs as Justin pulled down his shorts the rest of the way. Once that and her panties were off he slipped inside her. All throughout the house you heard moans and groans as she matched his thrusts. "Oh god." Her nails dug into him, he didn't care as he was too lost in his own pleasure as he finished them off. He collapsed on top of her and she played with his hair. "Get ready, and I'll make breakfast."

Eventually he got up and headed towards the bathroom, no doubt to shower. She laid in bed for a few minutes. Sara cleaned herself up. (He always came so much) once she did that, she decided on French toast with some fruit. Justin was ready for the day once she set everything down. They ate and talked about their plans to Oregon. Sara wondered about taking a private plane while Justin drove but he shot down that idea. There weren't private terminals close to Eugene. Plus a eight hour drive he had done by himself many times. He wanted his girl with him.

He  told her of his plans to take her around the University and the stadium where he spent all of his free time. 

"It's perfect, cause that weekend they are closed for maintenance and cleanup. Only place that will be packed is the Library, which we can avoid." 

She made notes of what she should bring. She insisted that they bring Nova (they were going to be gone for a while.) "Oh I have a surprise for you as well." She looked up from her phone. "Yea?" 

He smiled. "Yes, you need a dress, not too fancy but a nice one." She matched his smile. "Okay. Noted." Her smile was infectious. "Okay, now I can map out the back roads." He let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. "Thank you. I know it's risky." 

She nodded. "Of course." She knew people were going to discover them. She just didn't want it to be en route to spending time with his family.  Sara couldn't help but wonder if this meant that she would be meeting more family members. Based on what he told her prior, both sides of his family lived not too far from each other and grew up in the same local community. Eugene was very tight knit, and she felt honored that he was bringing her into his world.

Sara thought about Justin meeting her family. She loved her sisters and her parents, but her extended family was harsh and critical. Always making her feel inferior, telling her they had to knock her down a few pegs to stay humble.

If you call body shaming and putting her down every chance they get to humble her. Her mom and dad always defended her, however they never cut them off. They always showed up to family events, and Sara couldn't help but think her parents deep down felt the same way.

Once they finished breakfast, and had an outline of their plans. They bid goodbye, Justin to practice and Sara had rehearsal and boxing lessons. She had been spending so much time with Justin that she had been abandoning her friends and her life.

She got ready for the day, and headed out. Once she got to LA she realized how out of the spotlight she had been. Justin lived in a private and quiet neighborhood. Yeah it got congested sometimes, but nothing like the city of angels. It's funny, cause when she had landed her first major gig, which was the show. The first thing she did was buy her home where all the celebrities were. Sara was always out and about, she didn't care if the press saw her she just wanted to live the city life that was glamorized. She dreamed of this moment since she was a teen living in Gibsonia Pennsylvania all the way across the nation. 

As she got older, and spent more time with her homebody boyfriend, she began to crave something different. She loved being on a cocoon with Justin, just taking care of him. She had always had that homemaker mentality, her love language being cooking homemade meals and taking care of everything.

Once she pulled up to the studio that hosted the show she said hello to everyone, asking how everyone's break was. It was important to her that she acknowledged the crew behind the scenes as well. This show, her career, would have never happened if it wasn't for the people behind the camera.

The cast settled in their seats on the round table read. There were a total of 16 episodes for this season, with Sara’s character stuck in a love triangle between her on-off ex and a childhood friend that comes back into her life. It was the usual storyline, but people ate it up. They read through the sex scenes, some getting pretty intense. No nudity, as Sara made a request to never get naked on camera, bras and underwear? Fine. The illusion of being nude? That’s okay. But she would never get nude on camera. Once table read was over, the cast went to pick out outfits for their characters and work out filming locations. The nice thing was that filming primarily took place in Los Angeles, with some in North Carolina so it was not bad, however she would be spending time away from Justin. Come January, she would be gone for almost two months filming, then once she got back she would jump right into filming for the show. It was going to be hectic.

Before she knew it, she was in her boxing class with Erika and Samira, another close friend and castmate. The trainer was making sure they made up for all the missed classes and they were now in the locker room all showered and deciding where to go to lunch. “So Justin seems great,” Samira was applying makeup in the mirror. 

“Yes, he is.” Erika looked up from her phone “So are you guys getting serious?”

Sara smiled. “We’re going to Oregon on Halloween weekend.”

Erika let out a whistle. “Wow so he’s taking you back to his old stomping grounds. He’s very proud of being from there.” Sara smiled again. “He is very proud.”

“What about you? Has he met your folks yet?” Her smile turned into a frown. “No, honestly, my family doesn’t even know I am seeing someone.” Samira nodded in understanding. “I get it, your family can’t keep a secret to save a life, and your extended family is….” She trailed off

“Yeah, They suck.” That got a laugh out of all of them as they headed out. Of course the paparazzi were on it. Sara wondered how they figured out where they were.

“Sara! Samira! How was your workout?”

“Looking good ladies!”

“Will you be at the Chargers game Sunday?”

Uh oh. Sara was poised as she made her way to the car, she smiled at the photographers as she pulled away. This was not good, they were noticing her at the games. It wouldn’t be long for them to notice a pattern. 

Sara decided not to go to the game Sunday.

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Justin was uncomfortable.

He had asked his teammates for advice on many things, living in LA, the best spots to go, where to buy a home. But this was new territory for him, and it was awkward. He had to suck it up though.

He had done some research on his own, but he wanted to make sure that he was doing that right. They had just got done lifting weights and were going to head to watch film. He was in the room on his laptop when he noticed Easton walk in. “Hey can I ask you something?” Easton looked up, wondering what this could be about. “Yeah what’s up?”

Justin took a deep breath. “Does your wife have like a day spa she goes to?” The quarterback's eyebrows narrowed in surprise, he wasn’t expecting a question like that. “Um she has a few. I'm not sure of the names."

"Are there ones that do the whole spa facials and stuff?" 

"I'm sure, I'll ask her when I get home and I'll send them to you." Justin nodded. "Okay thanks."

Easton smiled. "Doing this for your girl huh?"

His young quarterback blushed. "Hey man, nothing to be ashamed of. That's great that you want to do that for her."

"Sara deserves it, after all she's done for me, and I'll be honest." He paused. "I haven't been the greatest partner. She did all this for me for sweetest day." Justin smiled. "I want to do the best package, I don't care how much it costs. I want her to be pampered before we go on vacation."

"Oh vacation for the bye? Where are you guys heading?"

"I'm taking her to Eugene." 

"Oh meeting the folks eh?"

"She met my parents when they came up for my injury. But I want her to see where I grew up."

Easton smiled. He knew this was a big deal for Justin, in the few years he knew the younger man it wasn't hard to figure out that this was important to him. "It's a big step Herb, I'm happy for you. Sara seems wonderful, I haven't seen you relaxed in so long."

Justin looked down bashful. "She's wonderful."

Before the conversation could continue Chase and the QB coach walked in. "Alright guys this week we have Seattle, and as you know Geno Smith has been on fire and the defense is good, but it can be picked apart. We made a few mistakes against Denver but we can clean it up." As he pulled up the videos. Chase went over to Easton as he saw Justin deeply engrossed in his laptop. "What's up with Herb?"

Easton smiled. "Our boy's in love."

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Jack was hitting a dead end.

It had been a few weeks since he got the photos of the mystery man in the Porsche and he still couldn’t figure out who it was. It was too blurry to identify in google images. He drove by the home in Irvine to find no activity whatsoever. The lights were on in the home but he couldn’t see anything, he hung out by the gate of Sara’s house, he saw her car a couple of times with her friends but nothing. 

All he had to go by was the Oregon plate, which didn’t say much because many celebrities had different plates with different cars. But this wasn’t someone he recognized at all. He was trying to be patient, but it was hard. This was a big story on the horizon, and if he was the first one to break it he knew companies would pay big money for this. Not only was he trying to figure out who the mystery man was, he was also trying to get a decent shot of them together in a position where they couldn’t deny something was going on. 

Again he hadn’t let anyone in on what he discovered, no way someone was going to jump the gun on this. He had to go out of town to cover a celebrity birth for a week, he just prayed nothing substantial happened. With a sigh he took a couple shoots of Sara and Samira with their friend before he drove off.

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Taylor was on a mission.

At thirty one years old, she was not above snooping to discover a man’s lies. She watched his presser before the Seahawks. There was a different air about him, he was smiling, trading jokes with reporters. Many on twitter assumed it was because of the Chargers win 

But she knew better, she knew he would have been upset after the Broncos. That attitude usually carried until the next game. So why was he so happy? Combined with the sudden new style, wearing designer brands?

Her friend told her she should just drop it, that all he wanted was a hookup and he kept up his end of the deal. It was true, Justin didn’t owe her anything.

It still pissed her off, again because he was starting to open up to her, they were spending time in public. Taylor thought maybe they could start to date, become more exclusive. She thought back about the night he was at her apartment, he was different. He would change topics when she brought up the topic of them. He answered in media responses, like she was doing a feature on him. Then there was the kiss, he backed off and ran out of her apartment like he had done something wrong.

Like there was another girl.

She had told him she wanted to be a Chargers exclusive reporter to be closer to him and they could give their relationship a shot. But when that didn't happen she put her plans on hold.

But now she was determined to figure out what was going on.

She had just sent an email to her boss that she wanted to be closer to home. All of this traveling to San Francisco was exhausting and that she would be more suited for the Chargers since she’s covered them before. Taylor argued that she was close to So-Fi and she spent most of her time there. The crew knew and loved her, and she always got the inside scoop with the team (thanks to Justin) Once she sent it she felt relieved, she was going to get this position, and she was going to figure out what was going on.

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Was it Sunday yet?

Sara was exhausted, something had gone wrong with the writing of one of the scripts, so the whole cast had to table read, then she had a last minute interview on a charity podcast. She was the patron of many charities, and this one supporting planned parenthood was near and dear to her heart with everything going on.

She was auctioning off items in her wardrobe to raise money, and she would match donations of the final amount. 

Then she had several meetings with her agent for roles and what was offered. For being a big star, she had many upcoming projects offered to her that could keep her busy til 2025. The nice thing about being established and the it girl was that there was no shortage of work. The meeting was long, and boring, and there were maybe a few scripts that she was interested in. The others were no go.

Once she thought she was done, Ben called and asked her for help in a short film based off the band's album. She agreed, and she found herself at the studio for five hours going over certain visuals. Ben had asked her to take a behind the camera roll, and she was delighted. She took filmmaking classes in college and one day once she retired from the front of the camera she wanted to take backstage roles. She did that in High School when she was in the drama club so this would be an awesome opportunity.

Between this and Justin’s practice schedule, they hadn’t seen each other in a few days, which sounds crazy, but they had been spending all of their time together. She didn’t even sleep at his house like normal. She was too tired to drive to Irvine and her place was closer to the studio where she was working.

Right now it was Saturday night, and she was cleaning her home, catching up on laundry that would no doubt go back into the suitcase that was heading with her to Justin’s. She had gotten an alert that her groceries were ready for pickup en route to Justin’s. Sara was going to spend tomorrow cooking while watching the game.

Her phone began ringing and she looked at it

Brittany. She picked it up. “Hey sis”

“Holy shit you actually picked up.” Sara frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Oh please, no one has heard from you for months. We were beginning to wonder if you cut us off.”

Sara rolled her eyes. “I would never do that.  Now anyways, what do I owe the pleasure of this call?”

“Katie told me to tell you that she got your checks and that your investments looked good.” The oldest was an investment banker and financial advisor. It was nice, because she could trust her. Sara had heard so many horror stories about new Hollywood getting screwed over because they didn’t read a contract. “Why didn’t she just call me?”

She knew her older sister enough to know the eyes were being rolled. “You know Katie, shes busy with the kiddos.” Katie had four kids under the age of seven. It was a handful, and Sara thought her sister was a superhero.

“Have you spoken to Alyssa lately?”

“Of course I have, you’re the only one that’s been MIA. But yes Alyssa is going good in St.Louis. Mom and I were just down there for the Blues home opener. Theo was asking about where ‘Aunt Sasa’ was” Sara smiled, her two year old nephew was the cutest thing. “How is he adjusting to having a little sister?”

Brittany laughed. “He likes her now, you know how he was when they brought her home from the hospital.” They both laughed at the memory of Theo proclaiming that they could return Kenzie. “I am glad.”

“Do me a favor.”

“What’s that?”

“Please call mom before she gets on the next plane to LA. I practically had to stop her from packing her suitcase. She’s worried sick about you, especially since all the rumors of you and Harry.”

“Oh god I just went to his concert, nothing major. Heidi forced me to go.”

“What about the premiere?” Sara filled her in and Brittany was upset. They had met Harry a few times when he and Sara were just friends and had grown fond of him. The whole Wozniak family had witnessed first hand how their youngest member was devastated. “That asshole, he has some nerve.”

“Its whatever, I am over it. I don’t need drama.”

“Well I am glad, Hey listen. I have to go, Scott is calling me. He took Eliza to bed and I’m supposed to meet him there.”

“Okay, give her kisses from me. Love you guys.” As she was about to hang up Brittany stopped her. “Hey wait! Mom wants to know if you’re coming home for Thanksgiving again.”

“Oh” She didn’t have an answer for that. Usually she did unless work commitments came up. So far she didn't work, but a superstar athlete was in the picture. She didn’t even know his schedule for that weekend or if he wanted to spend it with her. “Tell her I’ll get back to her and I’ll call her tomorrow.”

After they hung up Sara continued to work on her tasks while talking to herself. Her family didn’t even know she was seeing someone. It was also serious, she had met his family and he was taking her home next weekend. Justin had never really asked about her family, and it didn’t bother her much. Her family would overwhelm him, and her extended family were a piece of work.

Everything was out of the dryer, folded and packed to take to Justin’s for the next day. With nothing else to do, she decided to go on Instagram Live. During the pandemic she would go on live or stream on twitch to talk to her fans. It became popular and she continued it once the world got back to normal. When she posted on social media, many people flooded her comments asking to go back on Live. So tonight was a perfect night, no one was around, and she was at her house. 

She got on live and did her introduction and waited for people to get on. Once the viewership got to 45.9k she began talking about her charity and taking questions. A couple of silly comments from her friends. She did that for about an hour and decided to log off. She big goodnight to everyone and promised a twitch stream soon. She was promising a lot of things.

At 11:30pm she decided to head to bed, which sucked because she realized how much she missed sleeping next to Justin. At least if he had an away game she was in bed inhaling his scent. There was nothing here to remind her of him.

She wanted to text him but she knew he was asleep, the night before a game he was in bed by 8:30pm. Sara used to make fun of him, but now loved the routine. While she was cleaning she had some self reflection, she thought about how she made fun of Justin for golfing and simple things, he seemed genuinely hurt by those comments. She vowed to give golfing a try when he took her.

She went through her phone, and deleted the screenshots she took of his messages. Guilt plagued through her mind as she deleted them. Sara would be hurt if Justin did that to her. Then she deleted her messages with Joey. She saw Joey as a friend but she knew he liked her. At this point she was stringing him along for a relationship she was never going to have with him. Friends was the furthest it was going to go. Those messages he was sending her were inappropriate. 

She loved Justin, and she was a twenty six year old woman who needed to get her shit together. With the new knowledge and affirmation she fell asleep.

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By the time she pulled up to Justin's house the game had just started. Quickly she unloaded the groceries from her car and turned on the television as she began unpacking.

She was really hoping for the win, she didn't want Justin to be in a shitty mood heading into the bye week. 

And so far it wasn't going well.

"Fuck!" She yelled as Justin was picked off. Now down by 14 she was looking for something to cook. She needed to stress cook and bake.

She looked up ideas on her iPad to make for dinner. Once she settled on a pasta bake with chicken she got to work. She was tempted to do a live show but it was not her house. 

She kept the television on as she got the chicken prepared. So far the Chargers were in a deficit into halftime. After everything was prepared and it was baking in the oven she started to shop online.  Sara looked at golf attire since she didn't have any and the rules of golf. She was trying to make it up to him since he didn't really get a chance to show her the rules.

Justin was playing alot better so far in the second half, but they couldn't get it done so far in the third and it was making her nervous. Once the pasta bake was cooling off she put in fresh cookies.

She changed Nova’s box and played with her to keep her mind off the game. However there were only so many distractions and spending money online she could do. Looking at the TV she saw it was now 30-16 Seahawks.

"Come on baby." She threw her head back and groaned. The only good thing about this game was that Justin was in the royal blue suit and he looked very sexy. 

Sara sighed as the Seahawks extended the league Justin did score but there was only three minutes left. She was aggravated as now Justin would be pissed heading into the bye week. Not to mention another interception that would be going through his brain. As someone who graduated with a degree in psychology she wondered if his game was mental and not physical. He had shown great improvement due to therapy and he was almost back to normal, proving that when they had sex over the past couple of weeks.

Mike was also injured, Joey was down on one of the plays and went to the locker room. She was worried, Chargers were now down with almost everyone. Joe had messaged her with a red faced emoji. She was on Twitter retweeting her friend's comment when she saw the game was trending and she clicked.

Many fans were calling the Chargers overrated Justin was a bust. He was not the guy they said. It pissed her off, Justin always told her it didn't matter what people behind the screen said but the stress on his face told a different story. The team had very high expectations after last season and to see them after this start was heartbreaking. Granted there was still a lot of football left to play but this was supposed to be a dominant team.

After she ate, she cleaned up the mess and decided to take a nice relaxing bath. Her muscles were sore after the intense workouts she had been doing for a couple of days. Justin's family was very athletic and well she was not athletic at all. 

Prepping the bath with bubbles and salt she checked the temp to make sure it was as hot as she could stand it. She turned on the Jets and the tub came whirling to life. It was going to be a while for Justin to come home. She messaged him that there was dinner and desert for him in the kitchen. She set her phone to play some soft music and she put on a face sheet mask before tying her hair up and settling in the bubbles. Every muscle in her body was screaming in relief. 

She sunk into the bubbles and moaned when she felt the jet hit her core in a good spot. She grabbed the edge of the tub when she angled herself perfectly so the jet was directly on her clit. Unfortunately, before she could get lost in the feeling she heard the garage open, Nova ran out of the room to greet her father. She sat up confused on why he was home, she looked over at her phone and saw that it had only been an hour and half since the game ended. Wasn’t there a postgame interview speech and all that stuff?”

She heard him in the kitchen and the clinging of silverware and she knew he was eating the dinner she prepared. She had the bathroom door closed, assuming that he would want to be left alone to watch film and sulk. 

But she was wrong as she heard Justin call out to her. “Babe?”

“I am in the bathroom!” A few minutes later he walked in. Despite the loss he smiled when he saw her. “Is this my dessert?”

She smirked. “If you want it to be, but I made cookies on the counter.” He started to undress and she admired the view as he was naked and slipped in the water, taking the seat across from her he moaned. “God, why do you like the water so hot?”

“Was that noise a complaint? Cause that didn’t sound like it.” Justin rolled his eyes, and Sara was glad that he was showing his normal personality despite the shitty outcome. She had to ask though. “How come you are home so early?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean usually after a loss you're not home til really late.” He took a deep breath and leaned his head back against the tub closing his eyes. “I walked out on Staley’s postgame speech.” Sara sat up. “You did what? Why?”

He shook his head. "I'm frustrated with this team, all our starters are hurt, we have no depth, and Lombardi and Staley" He paused. "I'm frustrated with their play calling. They keep burying us in these inspirational quotes. That isn't going to help us win games. I know what I am capable of and it keeps getting overridden by those two and it's just. I don't want to see my career wasted like Rivers was.``

He was referring to QB Phillip Rivers. Sara lost herself in football analytics when she first got together with Justin. The distaste fans had with The Spanos and Tom Telesco and now with Lombardi and Staley.

"I feel so guilty saying this, because not many guys get this chance, and if it wasn't for them I'd never have a career. But I even had a thought about my future and contract and I don't know." Justin shook his head and Sara felt for him

"Baby that is completely valid, you're working a job and your bosses are holding you back. It's something many people go through." She didn't address what he said about his contract but he brought it up "my whole life is this city. I love it here, the people. How close it is to Oregon, and then there's you. I don't want to leave you."

"Let's not talk about that right now. We still have a couple of years before you think of going somewhere else." Alot could happen in that time, maybe they wouldn't even be together at the point, not that Sara wanted that to happen. “I would support you, whatever you want to do with your contract.”

Justin raised his eyebrows. “Even if that meant doing long distance?” She leaned into him and he met her halfway in a deep kiss. “I would support you, because.” She almost said I love you but thought better of it. “You are worth fighting for.” He smiled. “Same to you. They kissed again and it became deeper.” Eventually they broke apart. “I just want to go to bed and get ready for film review.” Sara nodded, she had needs, but they could wait.

They got out and dried off, doing their usual bedtime routines they slipped into bed with Justin pulling her towards him. “I am so happy its a bye week.” Justin whispered. Sara smiled. “Me too.”

“We are leaving early Wednesday morning and will be back Monday night. I told them I needed time to destress.” 

“That sounds great,” She felt a soft kiss on her shoulder as they drifted off to sleep.

They fell into a deep sleep that they didnt hear Taylor’s car pass by, taking note of Sara’s Mercedes in his driveway.

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Sara woke up late the next morning to an empty bed and the smell of coffee. She knew Justin was at the facility since it was ten am. What she didn’t expect was to feel an envelope against her where Justin’s body was last night. It had her name on it and when she opened it she gasped.

It was an all inclusive spa package to one the most high end salons in LA. It included everything, it was expensive. The note read.

Sara,

A very late sweetest day gift, you deserve a day to be pampered before we leave for Oregon. Erika is picking you up at one. See you tonight.

Justin.

She smiled and held the envelope to her chest, He was a great guy. She got up and got ready for the day, she just finished up as she got the text from Erika that she was waiting outside. After their hellos they headed out and Erika took the backways trying to avoid LA traffic. 

“So you knew Justin was planning this?” Erika smiled. “Yes, he contacted me yesterday and told me about his surprise. If you ask me its about time he did something for you.”

“Hey, he does plenty for me.” 

“Well something that doesn’t involve his dick.” Sara laughed and hit her friend in the shoulder. After more small talk and singing to old pop songs they pulled up to the back entrance of the salon. 

They were greeted by a kind lady and Erika told her the reservation was under Patrick, Sara giggled at the fact he used his middle name. Once they were signed it they headed back to the private section and changed into their robes. 

The session was wonderful, they got massages, facials, mani and pedis. Exfoliation treatments. Sara made sure to get nice and polished for her man. She chose a dark purple color. Also for her hair she got a slight trim and auburn mixed into her hair. If the shows stylists didn't like it when she started filming they could always dye it back. 

They had a nice catered lunch with champagne and chocolate covered strawberries on the side for dessert. 'Oh this man is going to get it later,'' She thought as they walked around the local shopping centers. She spotted a lingerie shop in one of the corners and dragged Erika into the store.

It was a high end lovers lane filled  with lingerie, sex toys and more. Immediately Sara began looking for the skimpiest thing she could find. As Erika mocked and made comments Sara grabbed all the items that she knew Justin would appreciate. He was a simple guy; she learned that fast when she surprised him wearing his jersey and nothing else . While they shopped they failed to notice a camera clicking away in the distance.

Once Sara and Erika left the photographer approached other customers walking out and asked what the starlet purchased.

The images were sent over to the associated press and soon online articles.

Sara Wozniak spotted at a lingerie shop. Sources say she and her friend purchased lingerie and the [TV show] star,26, was looking interested in a stripper pole. Who's the lucky guy? She dated Harry Styles and has remained lowkey since their split. But with those purchases she may be ready to get back into the dating world. Sound off in the comments

Wow slow news day

She's 26 who the fuck cares whose she's sleeping with.

Lucky motherfucker

The two did more shopping and okay maybe Sara purchased some things for Mark and Holly. Even though she met them already this was in New territory. Their home, the state. From the articles Sara read the Herbert's were very well loved in the small town. She was the outsider who wanted to fit in.

Erika dropped her back off at Justin's and Sara drove back to her home to get a head start on packing. Well technically she was behind cause Justin was already finished. By the time she was down she had three suitcases. Yeah they were going to have to take her SUV. 

Justin had just come in when she pulled up. She dragged the suitcases in the house.

"Uh babe, we're going to be gone for less than a week." He also took in the packages that arrived. "Please tell me you didn't order this for me."

"Nope." She popped the p. "It's for me." She unboxed it and Justin saw all the golf gear. He was surprised. "Wow you're ready aren't you?"

She nodded. "This is kinda my apology to you for insulting your hobby." He was touched. "I promise you're gonna like it. I'll even take you to the range first so you get a feel."

She smiled and held up the golf skirt. He groaned. "Please don't wear that I won't be able to teach you." 

"I don't think I'll be able to wear panties with this skirt."

"Yeah you're definitely not wearing that." He changed topics. "I got some other stuff planned for us."

"It better be fun Herbert, I'm missing my favorite Holiday for this trip. Normally I'd be getting ready for a killer Halloween party. I had my costume and everything. You're lucky I can still use it."

He was curious. "How so? Can I see it?" She got up and rummaged through one of her bags. Grabbing something that was purple and something shiny she dashed into his room and shut the door. He smiled and took a seat on the couch. Nova came up to him and he scratched her head. "Don't worry you're coming too." He told the Bengal.

He got on his phone and made sure the Reservations were in place as well as speaking to the Autzen stadium manager that everything was set in motion.

The bedroom door opened and he looked up, dropping his phone and his mouth.

Sara was in the doorway with a nightgown, the bottom see-through and the chest part was fuzzy. She had gloves on and he could see a tiny g string under the gown. "Can you guess what I am?"

His mind was blank "uuuh."  She smiled. Typical man reaction. "I'm a fembot."

"A what?" 

Another eye roll "from Austin powers. You have seen that movie."

He did see that movie, but right now he wasn't thinking straight. 

Sara spoke. "Well it's a shame that this dress isn't going to see a party this year. Maybe next year. 

He snapped out of his daze. "One. That's not a dress." He got up and walked towards her, his hard stare turning her on. "Two. That nightie isn't going to see next year." He grabbed the material and played with it in his large hands. 

"Cause I'm going to rip it off "

A/N Hey everyone! Hope you enjoy this chapter! I’m gonna take a little longer to write the Oregon chapters, I want those to be longer than usual and its gonna be an important turning point in their relationship

#Justin Herbert #alexa writes collide #la chargers #nfl imagine #nfl

[nowis-scales]

Takumi Birthday Headcanons

That’s right. I missed last year because of some personal stuff, but now I am back and I am ready to give the littlest Hoshido brother everything he deserves... which is a set of lovely birthday headcanons!

‣ Has a really high pain tolerance, which is about exactly as whumpy as it sounds. If he gets roughed up in battle, he’s not one to legitimately whine about it. He’s very much a grin and bear it person, even if it is seriously putting him behind, which frustrates and upsets Sakura to no end. More than once she has had to explain to unfamiliar healers that just because Takumi is not screaming does not mean that he is not in serious pain. The weirdest part is, it’s not even entirely about his inferiority complex. Like sure, it is partially, but at the same time, he was just always one of those kid who could get beat up and go right back to playing within a few minutes.

‣ You know how you sometimes see an ugly fruit at the store amongst the other pretty ones? Takumi has to buy that fruit because he feels bad for it. In fact, it’s not just fruit. Like, there have been times where he hasn’t done it because he was worried about being judged, but he’s laid awake at night feeling guilty about leaving the fruit there. The fruit didn’t ask to be how it is, how is it fair for everyone to just leave it behind? Certainly he is doing everyone a favour by taking the fruit, especially since people insist that it’s such an eyesore and he shouldn’t want it? He’s quite frustrated that some people just won’t let him love the fruit.

‣ This man is very rigid in and open about his personal ideals. He will commit PVP in the royal court if need be. It’s not like he’s often unprincely about it, but he’s quite outspoken and not afraid to say what he thinks. Due to his affection for philosophy (JPN), he spends a lot of time thinking about how Hoshido and its people should conduct themselves, and tries his best to work to implement these into the mindset of courtiers. This is actually one of the reasons why Ryoma asks him to study government at the end of their support conversations: he genuinely likes hearing about Takumi’s unique perspectives, and likes that what Takumi thinks sometimes challenges what is traditional or what Ryoma himself thinks. Of course, Ryoma probably doesn’t tell him that because he’s allergic to emotional vulnerability and communication, but after awhile, I imagine Takumi probably starts to pick up on it.

‣ A very adept dancer. You know how, at the end of Birthright, Ryoma makes a joke about how Takumi once danced on stage with a bunch of dancers during the last Festival? That’s because Takumi’s got the moves. He might not be able to keep up with Laslow, per se, but he could get pretty damn close. He tends to be able to pick up dances pretty quickly, so even if he were to learn like a Nohrian waltz, it really wouldn’t take him that long at all. Surprisingly, he actually tries to be pretty humble about it. If you throw him on stage like those dancers did, he would be modest at first, but with a little encouragement, he’ll go all out. Nohrian, Hoshidan, Vallite... it doesn’t matter. Once Takumi starts dancing, people cannot help but be taken with him.

‣ Immensely clever, even as a child. His tutors growing up absolutely loved him for his out-of-the-box thinking, and the nursemaids would sometimes set up extra puzzles for him just because he had so much fun solving them. That turned into Ryoma and Hinoka challenging him to shogi, then to extra studying with Yukimura, and... the ball just kept rolling from there. The weird thing about it is that, logistically, Takumi knows he’s smart. He just seems to discount it all the time.

‣ I’ve talked about his big brother and big sister as drunks, and he deserves to be called out for the dweeb he is as well. I think that because he has the swinging pendulum of “I’m the best” and “I’m the worst”, getting drunk gives him a bizarre confidence boost at first. Like he’s ready to be reckless, bouncing off the walls, arm wrestling with people and challenging them to drinking contests and talking about his battle conquests... but the longer being drunk goes on, the more he gets quieter and more introverted, until eventually you could probably put a drunk Takumi off to bed with no trouble.

‣ Has this weird, dad-shaped hole in his heart and he’s not really what sure what to do about it. In the Japanese version of the game, it mentions that Takumi doesn’t really remember Corrin, which... also means that he probably doesn’t remember Sumeragi all that well, either. As a result, he ends up being a bit more of a concept to Takumi than he is a person, although he does like to think about what life would be like if Sumeragi were still around. Most of the time, he pictures the interactions as rather happy and warm, but when the self-esteem issues start getting to him, all he can think about is once again finding a way to be in his big brother’s shadow.

‣ I’m pretty sure this is just popular fanon at this point, but when it came to Mikoto, he was probably the biggest Mama’s Boy. Definitely not in unhealthy territory or anything, but he loved Mikoto with all his heart. Apart from Sakura, he is probably the person he trusted the most in the world. She could do almost no wrong in his eyes, and he grew very upset when people tried to criticize her (considering she was an easy target as a foreign woman). Though she led a busy life, she always made time for him and told him how much she cared. He appreciated that more than words could say. While it is true to say that at times he felt like a replacement for Corrin, he empathized deeply with her agony and did everything he could to ease that pain. It hit him incredibly hard when she died.

‣ Still has a few of his old dolls and takes good care of them. They’re not loved in the same way that Sakura’s are, but he definitely has put them aside and keeps them free of dust and grime. They are also 100% hid out of view of others, because if the servants gossiped about him having a doll he would literally die, but he still makes sure they see some light. He’d never admit it, but sometimes when he’s particularly upset, he take one out to just hold onto for a few minutes. It gives a bit of comfort in reminding him of his childhood.

‣ The most fashionable of the royal children… and Oboro only has a little to do with it. In fact, I think his fashion sense is likely to be one of the reasons she likes him so much. For whatever reason, he’s always just had an eye for things that go well together. Sakura has more than once been stressed about the banquets they must attend as royals, worrying that she will look bad in her kimono, but Takumi is able to console her with a few words. They’ve put you in a blue kimono with doves on it? Well, you look good in blue and doves symbolize peace, it sounds adorable. Conversely, he’s also able to tell when someone is badly dressed. Which, as you can imagine, means that he has seen his older siblings dress themselves, and immediately gone, “Oh gods no, you have it all wrong. Let me help you.”

#LISTEN I'M A FEW MINUTES LATE BUT I DIDN'T FORGET!! #fe headcanons #fire emblem fates #fire emblem #fire emblem takumi #hoshido #fe takumi #FE 14 #fe 14 takumi #happy birthday takumi!!