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commonharlotwatchesbl · 2 years

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I’m so not normal about Vegas. I don’t think I can be normal about Vegas.

Below the cut it’s just a ramble of projecting, trauma dumping, and psychoanalysis.

Today’s episode was on the tougher side. Losing a pet is always a tender topic, but the way it was framed around Vegas’ trauma and the conversation between him and Pete about it hit too close to home. I’ve had a very similar conversation with my therapist. I have a sick pet, who was going into dangerous surgery for probably the third time. My therapist was asking me how I was feeling about it – the usual. I tried to talk about it without crying and failed miserably. I was obviously frustrated and expressed that just the potential loss should not hurt so much. She had to explain at a grassroots level to me that that is what an affectionate relationship is like and how it should be. It should be important, and that’s why it’s a good thing that it hurts. In the episode, I could imagine Vegas wanting to scream that if it’s like this, he doesn’t want any of it. But of course he cannot avoid it, since, as the episode clearly demonstrated, he’s not a psychopath and is very much capable of caring.

I love seeing people roast Vegas on how Pete gave him two minutes of therapy and the guy fell in love. As in, how emotionally unintelligent can a guy get? Well, for reference, I was instructed to do mindfulness noting techniques when I was 21: Whenever I noticed I was thinking, I was supposed to note for myself that I’m thinking. Same for feeling. However, I thought that it meant physical feelings, such as sore muscles or tingling. I did not realize that I had feelings, as in emotions, until I was 25, because I was so ill equipped to deal with them. I think they happened, I just wasn’t aware.

When you’re an extension of a parent instead of seen as an actual human, the mind has no option except perceive the self through the Other. You feel as if you are how your parent compares you to your peers. You are your grades, your progress in your hobbies, your successes compared to others. You got the second best result in an exam or a sports competition? The thing a parent like this wants to know only is why did you not get the first one and more importantly, who did? You get punished for failure. A grade B+ will give you a week of being grounded. (Really.) A child like this, in search for affection, doesn’t really develop likes and dislikes, the only way they can find human connection is learning to manipulate how others perceive you and draw positive feelings from there. This is why Vegas is so obsessed with being seen as “the second”. Anyone would think that’s an enviable position. He has an entire household of people who think he’s equivalent to a God, but he only cares about the gaze of some abstract Other he has learnt to place on himself. This, of course, he picked up from his father ever since childhood. This is why he's so perceptive of which version of him Pete reacts to the best.

The self harm… When you’re corporeally punished as a child, physical pain becomes a soothing comfort for emotions you’re ill equipped to process. When I was expressing age typical emotions at two years old, my parent considered it a failure on my part – I was being difficult and made her look bad – and used to slap me on the face. According to old documents written by her, after getting beat, I would crawl over to her to give her a kiss in an apology that I had upset her. Eventually I guess I learnt that affection is only on the table momentarily if I do something that makes her appear in a good light, and then the moment’s over. The only real attention you get from a parent like this is pain, and when you’re an emotionally starved enough child, pain is better than nothing. When you’re sad, you learn not to expect comfort, you learn to expect pain of some sort and what is familiar will become comfortable, so you do it to yourself.

Sometimes, you would find another place for comfort: another parent, maybe friends later on, maybe pets. But if you’re used to losing all of these new sources of hope, you begin to push them away right from the start to show yourself that you’re indeed not worthy of love. And when you're really desperate for human connection with a mind like this, you will think you have to chain them to the ceiling just to stop them from leaving. My only friend in elementary school moved away, my only friend in middle and high school moved away, my first boyfriend died, I’ve lost more pets that I can count. You give up and live every single moment waiting for the other shoe to drop. Every good moment is drenched in the knowledge that it’s not going to last, so why delay the hurt. Make yourself unlovable, control the perception of the Others so that they never know you, because, if they never know you, they cannot really leave you. Teach yourself to walk backwards out of any given situation. However, conveniently they can give you that little drop of good brain chemicals if you can trick them into seeing you in a light of power. For example, through violence and sadism. You can find a fan you can manipulate into seeing you as superhuman, but be all too willing to, well, shoot them I guess, because they would leave you anyway if they actually knew you. However, when you get the satisfaction of being seen positively through the other via a new state - vulnerability - you're going to want that kick of being liked while navigating a whole new experience. Vegas being perceptive to how Pete likes him, being addicted to being how Pete likes him, is going to teach him new ways of existing.

A child being put responsible for how others see a narcissistic parent is exactly how you would get a character like Vegas. A control freak completely out of touch with their own self with an emphasis on facades and impressions to whom others are only tools to either be seen through or tools to manipulate how others see them. For a personality like this, facing oneself is dangerous for everyone involved, since the toll on the psyche is not little and coping mechanisms are various.

However, if against all odds, the self survives this, what does one do with the surplus of love and affection that has previously only had an outlet in harm towards oneself and others?

I’m not normal about Vegas.

#kinnporsche the series #vegas theerapanyakul #vegaspete #kinnporsche

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pics-and-fanfics · 1 year

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I’m not safe

Here’s a full recount of the events that happened earlier after I got home that led me to cry for somewhere around 15-30 minutes

1. My mother comes into the living room, where I’m watching a YouTube video on my phone, headphones in

2. She tries to play with me (she was bullying me)

3. She yanks my earbud out of my ear then runs off (I should remind u she’s like 51-ish)

4. I go to look for her

5. I find her in the kitchen a minute or two later

6. I tell her to give me my earbud back

7. She takes it OUT OF HER FUCKING EAR! AND HANDS IT TO ME!

8. I find my drink under the living room table

9. I can’t find my phone (seconds after the drink)

10. I go back to her, telling her to give me my phone back

11. She runs off

12. I chase her, and grab the back of her shirt to keep a hold of her

13. I let go for two (2) seconds

14. She tries to run off again

15. I chase after and grab her shirt again

16. I get my phone back

17. I look for my headphone case

18. I go to the kitchen to tell her to give it back

19. She tries to gaslight me

20. I tell her, multiple times, to give it back

21. She goes to the bathroom

22. I go to the living room

23. She comes in, headphone case in her hand

24. I tell her to give it to me

25. She says no

26. I walk up to her, getting in her face (as close as I can bc I’m shorter than her)

27. She puts her other hand up, and I push it down

28. She slaps my hand

29. This repeats x2 more times

30. I have to give her a hug to get my headphone case back

31. I do it, and i get my headphone case

32. She thinks it’s funny to squish me and I try to twist away bc she’s choking me

33. I sit down after she leaves the living room, calling my best friend

34. I start talking to her

35. My mom says “awww, are you tattling on me to my mommy?” (Mocking me, bc that’s who I used to call before I learned she couldn’t keep her mouth shut)

36. I tell her I’m taking to my bestie (I’ll call her Madison for this)

37. (Remember I’ve got my earbuds in, on a call w/ Madison)

38. My mom starts going ballistic, accusing me of hiding her phones (1 personal, 1 work)

39. I tell her I didn't

40. We go back and forth before I mute myself on the call bc I’m starting to cry bc that’s what happens when I’m angry, and I hate it

41. She starts going through my backpack, and I tell Madison I’ll call her right back before hanging up

42. My moms screaming at me, saying that I hid her phones bc she took my stuff

43. (Spoiler! I didnt!)

44. Guess where they were?

45. Guess

46.

47. WOW!

48. They were right behind her, not even 10 feet from where she remembered putting them!

49. I DIDNT EVEN KNOW WHERE THEY WERE

50. SO IM LIKE

51. “WOW! THERE THEY ARE!”

52. (She found them before I saw them btw)

53. She’s mad at me, I’m angry and crying

54. I tell her that she’s bullying me, her LITERAL CHILD!

55. Her response?

56. Somewhat along the lines of

57. “If you think I’m bullying you, you’ve got a fucked up sense of reality”

58. And she’s cursing me out (all while I’m still crying)

59. I tell her she’s being a jerk

60. She flips me off and leaves the kitchen, where we had gravitated, which is where her phones and my backpack were

61. She goes outside, I get my food out the oven

62. I call Madison back

63. And I’m talking to her, still upset, crying, and interrupted every few seconds as I sniffle and take a breath and try to catch my breath and cry

64. I’m barely forming coherent sentences bc of all this

65. I talk to my bestie, Madison, while I try to eat

66. I find out my food wasn’t even cooked all the way thru

67. So I’m sat there, from 4:46 to 5:12 (24 minutes) talking to her

68. I eventually move to my room after throwing the food away bc I’d lost my appetite

69. I continue the rest of the call (I don’t know how long I was in there)

70. (Dining room portions of the call + my bedroom part of the call = 24 ish minutes)

71. While I’m still on the phone w/ Madison, I look up my therapist’s office

72. I hang up soon after, and start typing this on notes so I have an easily accessible copy for Tuesday, when I go to my therapy appointment (that’s where I am rn)

73. I’m going to copy and paste this then publish

74. I’m then going to try to get in contact with my therapist (going into the future now)

75. Please wish me luck, I don’t feel safe here

76. These events are getting more often, leading me to calling Madison in tears more often)

#i’m not kidding #i’m not even joking #i’m not okay #i’m not ok rn #i’m scared #I’m scared for my life rn #I’m not safe

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arionawrites · 4 months

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just looked through my drafts and found this:

• i read more. not just fanfiction, but almost 30 books. my goal was 50 but i got over halfway and that makes me happy, and makes me think that i can maybe actually get to 50 next year.

• i wrote more. i didn’t finish a full draft for any of my wip’s like i had hoped, but i wrote a lot of stuff for original wips instead of only writing fanfiction. that makes me excited for next year because i think i have a really good chance of not only finishing one of these wips next year, but also sending it to publishers and such. i might still be able to achieve my dream of being published at 25.

• i didn’t get tattoos, but i did decide what i want my next tattoo to be! just wasn’t able to make it work financially. next year, though!!

• have no been stretching in the morning, unfortunately. i’ve actually been waiting until like 15 minutes before i have to leave for work before dragging my ass out of bed and barely making it on time. i still think stretching in the morning is something i should strive to do, but considering how 2023 has gone, i’m not too upset with myself for not having the energy to see this one through.

• i actually have taken better care of my health!! not for the first like 3/4s of the year, but in the last month or two i’ve actually been taking my meds, my blood sugar has been more well managed, and i’ve started to talk through a lot of stuff with my therapist that i haven’t really talked through before. we’re getting there!!

• put more effort in and commit to it? in some ways, yes. in other ways i haven’t committed to much of anything at all. but it’s been a rough year. however, on a personal level (mental and physical health), i’m ending the year better than i started it, and i think putting in the effort and committing to things next year won’t be as hard as it has been.

gonna have to think of a new little list like this for 2024. there’s still some time before the year is over. maybe i can ask my family to give me money for a tattoo and cross that one off before new year.

#aritalks

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vintage-brass-tc · 9 months

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July TC Challenge Days 21-31

Band camp had started so my posts came to a standstill! I’ll finish up this challenge and try to make more brief but occasional posts since so much has happened since my previous one. ❤️

21. if you had the chance to go anywhere in the world with your tc, where would you go? what would you do?

I really don’t know…I guess it would be nice to go to an expensive hotel really high up in the sky, in a luxury room, like one of those pictures you’d see on Pinterest, and just spend time together up there. Maybe eat an expensive dinner, watch some movies, cuddle up in bed together, read a book. Just be. That would be amazing.

22. does your tc have any nicknames for you?

U used to call me “kiddo” all the time but he hasn’t called me that in so long. I don’t have a nickname from them, but M called me “sweetie” while reassuring me once when I was upset, and U called me a “doofus” and lightly tapped my head with his fist when I had made a silly mistake. I love it when they say my name but having a nickname would be cute too. ❤️

23. have you ever cried in front of your tc? why? how did they react?

I have. To summarize, two years ago I was really upset after a marching band rehearsal because there was a dot in our drill that I could never get perfect. I would try my best to backwards march as far as I could on tempo, but I would never reach the spot in the form…and the people around me were constantly giving me the same feedback. I was frustrated that my efforts were in vain, and stayed after rehearsal to rep it some more. I even tried to march differently, but during a rep, I had fallen with my sousaphone on, and I guess that was the last straw for me, so I started crying.

My section leader was worried, but they let me walk back to the band hall alone to have some time to myself. Once I walked inside, I tried to get everything together as quick as I could and once I did I quickly made my way to the door. As if it was fate, U was just making his way TO the band hall as I was making my way OUT of it. He was in a good mood, so when he was passing me, he said “Bye [R]!” and I responded “See ya.”, but my voice broke. This made him stop immediately and turn to me with a look of genuine worry on his face.

He asked me if I was okay, and I shook my head. He then told me to come with him and he walked me into his office to console me. Once M saw me enter and noticed how distraught I was, he dropped everything he was doing previously to listen to me vent. Both he and U listened to me so patiently and they had nothing but good and reassuring things to say to me. U had to help another student out about ten to fifteen minutes into talking, but he did everything so well, and M took over just fine. I’m really grateful for both of them, and this moment will always mean the world to me.

24. have you ever walked/drove to/from school with your tc?

I WIIIISHHHH. Aside from on the band bus for games or comps, I have not driven with them. I would like to, though. It would be nice.

25. do you know which teachers your tc is friends with at school? if so, do you like those teachers?

They basically just talk to each other, I think, and other fine arts teachers. I know them and think they’re pretty alright too!

26. why does your tc’s voice sound like?

Uhm… I literally could not explain that to you. If I find people that sound like them in a video or something I’ll link back, but right now I’m just not sure how to explain it.

27. do you like your tc as a teacher? are they a good teacher?

M can get very carried away sometimes as he is a perfectionist, but he is good at making points and good at addressing music in different forms. He is very intelligent when it comes to music and how things should sound, and though he can be nice about it at times, he kind of tends to focus on the things we need to fix more. He makes the same jokes and tells some of the same stories as he did in middle school…. but he has his moments.

In concert season, U is a little bit more chill with his teaching, at least in the sense that he takes some time off sometimes to joke around with his students or tell a story. He teaches in a way that’s easier to digest and has a more tolerable demeanor, though he can get onto the finer details sometimes, but I believe since he gives his kids the occasional mental break, that information gets taken in easier.

In marching season, though…. U pushes and pushes and tries to get as many reps as he can. He holds us accountable and will compliment us when we do good, but he will always challenge us to push us to our full potential. He loves to make fun of people during marching season as well, and joke around with us, but makes sure we can get back into an serious mindset immediately and do what we’re more than capable of doing. We cannot waste time.

28. does your tc prefer books, shows or movies?

I’m pretty sure M prefers movies, but he could prefer shows. I believe U is more of a show enjoyer though, maybe.

29. is your tc stern or easy going, in class?

It depends on the day, but they can be pretty stern.

30. how would you describe you and your tc’s relationship?

We find each other trustworthy. I’m very fortunate to say that I believe they trust me, and they see me as a good kid and a good example for the band. They’ve told my parents they love me lots so that’s probably good as well. They’re comfortable with talking to me and joking around with me too, which is so much fun.

31. do you address your tc by their first or last name?

Last name!!! I could never call them by their first name, at least not to their face. Haha.

#m #u #teacher crush #teacher crush community #tc community #tc #tcc #tc post #tcc post #tc challenge #tc thoughts #tc ramblings #tc stories #tc moments #tc feelings #teacher attachment

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whats-wild-to-you · 2 years

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100 Days To Fall In Love

[day 15]

[Jay’s POV]

The next morning I woke up and quickly texted Mr. Kim to notify the office I wouldn’t be coming in. It was Saturday after all.

Mr. Kim must’ve notified the maids too since it was quiet outside my door even though it was already 8am.

I sighed, dreading leaving my bed. I knew I’d have to speak to Hyo Ri and apologize to her.

[Hyo Ri’s POV]

It was 7.30 in the morning when I finally sat down on the bed. I didn’t sleep all night and eventually the exhaustion crept up on me. Yawning, I took my phone out and texted Mr. Kim, asking him to meet me in my room by 8.

He read the message but didn’t reply. Anxiously, I waited for him to show up, praying that he would show up at all.

When I heard footsteps approaching, I quickly opened the door and ushered Mr. Kim inside. He noticed my suitcase right away and sighed.

“What is this?”

“I’m leaving. I just wanted to see you and thank you for everything.”

“Soo-Jin…”

“I’m not going to allow him to destroy my pride like that. It’s all I have left.”

“But what about the money?”

“I don’t need it for myself. I never wanted it for myself. I was going to give it to Ri-Na. She let me live in her apartment for free and helped me out with everything. I just wanted to pay her back.”

“Soo-Jin, he didn’t mean it. He went through a lot too when he was younger and he became cautious.”

“That’s not being cautious. That’s being a jerk asshole. He hurt me in a way no one has ever done before. When all I wanted was to get along with him.”

“Fine. I understand that you’re upset but do you think leaving is your best option?”

I nodded, not trusting my voice to speak. I smiled at Mr. Kim and grabbed my suitcase, reaching for the door. I was emotional but didn’t want to burden him.

“What about the penalty money you’ll have to pay?” His calm voice filled the room.

My hand froze mid-air, as I realized I hadn’t thought about this.

“I’ll figure something out.” I lied, without looking back.

[Jay’s POV]

Mr. Kim barged into my room, looking distraught.

“What happened?” I demanded, sitting up.

“You need to get out of bed! Now!”

“Why? Is something wrong at the company?”

“No, the company is fine. Soo-Jin is leaving! I mean Hyo Ri. Goddammit! Hyo Ri is leaving!”

“She’s free to leave if she wants to.”

“She can’t pay the penalty fee and you know that! I know you! You’re not the heartless man she thinks you are. You need to do something!”

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. An important fundraiser gala was coming up and I needed a plus one. I needed Hyo Ri.

“She called for a taxi and is waiting outside. C’mon. Put on pants and a shirt and go talk to her. Convince her to stay!”

Grunting, I got out of bed and put some clothes on. On my way downstairs I doubted I would be able to change Hyo Ri’s mind. I was just doing this for Mr. Kim since he seemed to have a soft spot for her.

[Hyo Ri’s POV]

I was standing under the hot sun, even though it was only 8.30am it was already 25 degrees. It was fall, but summer just wouldn’t leave. I held onto my suitcase, grabbing the handle so tight my knuckles turned white, feeling dizzier by the second. I was sure I was dehydrated and almost sure I would faint any minute.

While waiting for the taxi to arrive, I heard the front door open and close. Expecting to hear Mr. Kim’s voice once more, a cold shower ran down my back when Jay spoke with a soft voice.

“Are you really leaving?”

I remained quiet, not wanting to look at him.

“It’s really warm outside, you should wait inside.”

“I’m fine.” I said, with my back still turned to him.

“Come inside. You’re being irrational.”

Although he sounded concerned, his words hurt.

Feeling irritated, I turned around to reply. “I’m not g-”

I felt my head spinning, a piercing pain so strong, I couldn’t keep my eyes open. My head felt heavy as a stone and light as a feather at the same time. My knees turned to jello and the last thing I felt before everything went dark, was Jay catching my limp body in his arms so I wouldn’t hit my head on the ground.

The first thing I noticed when I came back to my senses was that I was surrounded by several people, and although I couldn’t make out who was leaning over me, one voice stood out in particular.

“Where do you think you’re going? Lay back down!” Jay ordered when I attempted to get up. I was laying on the sofa in the living room, exposed, for everyone to see.

“I’m fine!” I groaned, grabbing some pillows to cover myself.

Jay must’ve realized that I was feeling extremely uncomfortable and swiftly ushered everyone away. “Don’t you have work to do?”

I used this distraction to my advantage, slowly getting up off the couch.

“I can walk.” I protested when Jay turned around, ready to scold me.

To my surprise, he helped me up the stairs and put the cover over me when I climbed into bed. I expected him to leave afterwards but he didn’t. Instead, he took his slippers off and climbed into bed as well.

“I’m tired.” I said, unwilling to interpret Jay’s behavior. He was probably just frightened when he saw me fainting.

“I know.” He said, as his hand reached up to caress my cheek, while his eyes never left mine.

In the end I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer and fell into deep slumber.

I woke up, surrounded by darkness. It must’ve been past dinner time, since I noticed a tray with food on the desk. I got up slowly and sat down. The food was still warm. I wondered who brought it up, secretly wishing it was Jay. After devouring it, I made my way downstairs. Heejin was the only maid around, everyone else had already left.

“Is Jay, I mean Mr. Park, here?” I asked her as soon as I entered the kitchen. She was busy storing groceries and I silently stood next to her, lending a helping hand.

“He left an hour ago, but he said he wouldn’t be long.”

I nodded, bidding her goodnight.

I was already halfway up the stairs when I heard the front door open and close. Heejin greeted Jay, and he said something to her which I couldn’t hear.

“Hyo Ri! Come down here! I have a surprise for you!” Jay sounded really excited, and I was way too curious. I doubted though that it was something to get excited about.

“Coming.” I called out, taking my time with the stairs. I was still feeling a little woozy.

I went down the stairs and already saw her out of the corner of my eyes. There she stood next to Jay. My dear Ri-Na! I ran down the remaining stairs and almost tripped, eager to hug my friend whom I’ve missed so much.

We were hugging, squeezing the living stuffing out of each other, when I caught a glimpse of Jay, standing in a corner, looking content. With tears streaming down my face, I mouthed a silent thank you, to which he responded with a wide smile.

“Heejin, please take Ms. Ri-Na’s stuff up to Hyo Ri’s room.” Jay exclaimed and my eyes darted around until they landed on a duffle bag. Ri-Na had it since college, it was worn-out but her favorite thing she ever owned.

It took me almost a minute to realize she would be staying over tonight. When I did, I turned around to thank Jay again but he was already gone.

“Come!” I said to Ri-Na instead. “I’ll show you the room. Honestly, it’s bigger than your apartment.” I whispered into her ear since Heejin was walking ahead of us.

After Ri-Na had settled down, Heejin appeared at the door with snacks and tea.

We were both in our pyjamas, munching on cookies, popcorn and drinking tea. Suddenly Ri-Na took the cup off my hands and looked me up and down.

“What did you do?”

“Huh?”

“Jay! I almost had a heart attack when he suddenly stood at my door. I thought something had happened to you! And then he told me to pack an overnight bag and come with him, I thought this thing was supposed to be top secret and super confidential, yet he practically begged me to come!”

“I- We had an argument, I wanted to leave, actually I had packed my suitcase and was standing outside, waiting for the taxi.”

“And?”

“Ok, don’t overreact. I fainted. It was nothing serious, I swear. Jay called the doctor for nothing, I was fine. I am fine.”

“That still doesn’t explain why Jay came to me at 11pm.”

“Maybe he felt bad?”

“What did you fight about?”

“We didn’t fight, we argued. Well, I argued, he just stood there chuckling, and honestly, in that moment I lost it. I think I called him a jerk, I don’t really remember, and stormed off. I guess I was a little too dramatic, but I just felt alone and overlooked. I told him a couple days ago I felt lonely, maybe he could introduce me to some people. He agreed but didn’t keep his promise and it frustrated me.”

“I knew this would happen! Soo-Jinah, that guy just wants some arm candy, an escort to show up to official events with! The fact that he lets you live in his house doesn’t mean he’s going to put in any kind of effort. He doesn’t need to, you need to put in the effort. You need the money.”

“Is it wrong of me to want to get along? Like actually coexist peacefully? I can’t do this if I’m made to feel like an intruder and a nuisance.”

“Then give up! Come home with me!”

“And the penalty money I’d have to pay?”

“Right! Didn’t think about that!”

“Neither did I this morning, Mr. Kim had to remind me.”

“Who’s Mr. Kim?”

“Jay’s assistant, and probably his nanny too!”

“Oooh, feisty! Lower your voice, someone might hear you!”

“The maids all left, and Jay’s bedroom is further down the hall.”

“So you’re not sleeping in the same room? Bummer!”

“Ri-Na!”

“What? Have you seen many couples who live together, sleep in separate rooms?”

“I actually asked Mr. Kim the same question. The maids think we’re a legit couple, wouldn’t they become suspicious? He said no, because Jay always sleeps alone!”

Flashbacks of when Jay climbed into bed with me and comforted me flooded my mind. I clearly remembered Mr. Kim saying Jay never shared his bed with anyone. I thought it was strange, but then considered the possibility of him having troubles sleeping.

“What are you thinking about?” Ri-Na’s voice rang through to me.

“Nothing. Let’s go to sleep. I haven’t slept at all last night. I’m exhausted!”

A few minutes later I heard Ri-Na’s drowsy voice. “These sheets are heaven. I could get used to them. Don’t get used to them!”

“I won’t!” I mumbled back, wide awake.

***

[day 25]

#h1ghrmusic #h1ghrgang #Jay Park #park jaebum #park jaebeom #park jaybum #MORE VISION #more soju please #khh imagines #jay park imagines #jay park scenarios #Jay Park fanfic #jay park AOMG #AOMG #AOMGOFFICIAL #aomg jay park #aomg scenarios #aomg imagines

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rambling-robot · 1 month

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work rant

bit overwhelmed at the moment so forgive me if I’m overdramatics but I want to get another job and I’m so upset about it. I love the hours and personal flexibility this job gives me but it’s also exacerbating my low back/hip pain…. I will recover just in time for my next work day. Every time I feel better, I have to work again and it hurts again and I don’t want to maintain this cycle. I’m taking a break at work to write this post because I can’t power through the last thirty-odd minutes of sweeping, vacuuming and mopping. And I don’t know what to do.

My last job was so exhausting. I burned out so hard working 10+ hours a day. And I’m really good at being a secretary but I’m scared to go back to that kind of job because of how chaotic and overloaded I was. I don’t want to go to the hospital because of how toxic the local hospital environments are (both bc of experiences elsewhere and also per a friend who worked there).

And job searching has almost never worked for me. The only job I truly got by myself was a pizza place in town. Everywhere else hired me bc I knew someone. Not that I’m complaining! I’m grateful that happened and I’ve had these opportunities and that I got hired and paid! But I’m so limited. I don’t know if I was already like this and didn’t know it or if this is part of some fallout but I don’t think I can show up to a job and permanently be doing 3+ roles like everywhere is expecting. I can’t do that anymore. I don’t think I can even work in a grocery store on account of how overstimulated I get in a short visit. Are my autistic symptoms worsening or am I just becoming more aware of them? I haven’t had to mask for work since last April, and while that’s fantastic, I’m not sure what would happen if I got thrust back into it.

I am living paycheck to paycheck and I’m essentially getting paid $20/hour for a 25-hour work week (untaxed). That’s a great rate. I won’t get that anywhere else. But I don’t think I can work more than that. I’m not even working that much as it is; I clean efficiently enough and I don’t have to be there for the contracted amount of hours. It’s great. But I am hurting so much right now and I’ve been hurting and I don’t want to be stuck like this. If I got a 25-hour week anywhere else it’d be for ~$15 (if I’m lucky) and I can’t afford that. But I can’t afford full-time, either. I hate it. I’m not meant for this. I can’t do this. I can’t do this.

TL;DR: thought about getting a new job but idek what I can do due to both autistic symptoms and physical pain-related limitations.

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nella09archive · 7 months

Text

Marriage. 40

Chapter 40: ship mates

“Dad! Stop laughing at me!” I just couldn’t help it. My son looks ridiculous. Is he going to space or to school? I couldn’t stop. Damn it! My ribs.

“Honey, stop it. I think he looks adorable.”

“But, Chichi. Please don’t tell me, this was the outfit you were going to send him to school in.” Now she was giggling. “I knew it!” Now both of us were chuckling and Gohan face kept turning red. “Ok, ok. I’ll stop. Come here little man, and give daddy one more hug.” He hop on my lap, and gave me a hug.

“You two are embarrassing. But I rather have you no other way.” My little man is really growing up.

“Now remember, listen to Krillin and be very careful. And one more thing.” He looked up at me, while I singled Chichi to come closer. Chichi then joined the hug, and we kissed his cheeks. “Me and mommy love you very much, and are always proud of you.”

“I love you and mommy, too. Now, can you both stop kissing me.” I tickled him one more time. “Come on, please. I’m going to be late.” Awe, he was doing the angry puffy face Chichi does.

“Ok little man. You be a big boy on this trip, and come back safely.” He nodded and went off to wait with his grandpa. Now alone with Chichi, I could finally ask. “Is everything ok at home?” She nodded. “Are you ok?” She shook her head. “Come here.” I held her in my arms and rubbed her back. “It’ll be ok. I’ll be on my way soon, after I heal. I’m going to make sure he comes home to you.” She nods against my shoulder, and then she gives me one more kiss before she leaves.

…

Why did mom had to pack so much? You would think, she packed the whole house in there. I really do love my mom. Once me and everyone else were in space, I come to the impression of certain things. One, don’t ever mess with Ms. Bulma; she’s scary. Also, she so over herself, almost spoiled. Two, Krillin is pretty chill, but a nervous wreck. And the way dad told me about them, I don’t know what to believe. Well, I can believe the warning of being careful around Bulma. The thing with Krillin is, I don’t know, up to debate.

The way dad talks about him, and what I’ve seen so far, it’s almost like they’re brothers. And Krillin been nothing but nice to me, and defined me. Plus, he’s helping me a lot with my training. So, does that mean he’s almost like my uncle or something? That would be super cool. I couldn’t help giggle to myself. I have a meanie uncle Raditz, a meanie uncle and first teacher Piccolo, and now nice uncle Krillin. Wow! It’s amazing how fast my family is growing, since I just met everyone one year ago. So, does that make Ms. Bulma my aunt? Um, that’s up for debate.

…

Not even a week out of that metal bed, and he’s already escaping. My silly husband. What really upsets me is that I worked so hard on his sweater. He could have least taken it with him. But when I woke this morning, I was surprised that I had his sheets over my shoulders. So, I’ll give him points for at least making sure I was ok first. So, mister you have one more hour. Ok Chichi, and I’m on an island off to the north of the hospital. Did you take your medicine before leaving? No. In that case, you’re down to 30 minutes. Meanie. 25. One more word and I’m going over now. Actually, can you. I’m kind of… Ow!

…

Chichi is so going to kill me. I shouldn’t have left the hospital. But be damn, did I need the exercise. Ok, if I didn’t take too much at once, I would have been able to last longer. Damn my spine! She found out, and was giving me extra time. I really don’t deserve her. Great, now she’s shortening it, due to me not taking those stupid pills. Meanie. 25. One more word and I’m going over now. Actually, can you. I’m kind of… Ow!

As I prepared myself for the long speech, she was going to give me, I enjoyed watching the clouds. My beautiful wife is going to skin me alive. And the worst part is, I can’t even do anything about it. Every single time she gets mad, I always get her back that night. Hey, it’s not my fault she’s so damn irresistible when she’s angry. Just thinking about how angry she must be right now is getting me worked up. I hope she comes alone. I would at least like some time with her before going back to that sicken place.

And there goes my hopes and dreams when I saw Master Roshi. Why didn’t you come alone? No mister. No kissy for misbehaved husbands. Plus, you forgot your sweater. Not my fault I didn’t want to wake you up. You need all the rest you can get. Looks who’s talking. Your lovable husband that only cares for your happiness. By the way thank you. Yeah, yeah. Don’t think I’m doing that again. This was your one freebie. My wife is just so perfect.

As Master Roshi drove the airship, Chichi was next to me. She was holding my hand, while poking my face. No more escaping. You have to rest up. But you know how I am. I can’t sit still for the life of me. She looked up, at Master Roshi’s direction, then back at me. What are you— She kissed me. I tried to follow her, as she left, but I couldn’t. She then had an evil grin on her face. What if I told you if Master Roshi didn’t insist on coming, we might have done something? WHAT! So, why you let him? I wanted so badly to be alone with my wife. This sucks! Deal with it. You being a naughty husband. And you’re being a good wife, but I still wish for another kissy.

…

Bulma is just so messy. After Krillin first showed me how to mentally train, we did it everyday on this trip. We also had to clean up after Bulma. Krillin would even talk about how spoil she is. Then a thought occurred to me. “Ms. Bulma, Krillin, how did you guys meet my dad?” Daddy never told me how he met his friends.

“Well, for me I was on the hunt for the dragon balls. Your dad just so happen to have the four-star ball. Then we started traveling together. Simple as that.”

“From what I’ve heard you hit Goku with your car and then shot him. Then after that you found out he had the ball, and convinced him to travel with you.”

“Shut up Krillin.” They’re weird. Dad did mention about Bulma hitting him a lot when he was younger. “Besides your dad was one strong kid. So strong in fact, he made for a decent bodyguard.” Why would Bulma do that?

“How were two when you met?” Dad really doesn’t talk about his past much, so this would be fun. Maybe I could learn more about dad.

“I was 16 at the time, and if I remember correctly, Goku was 12. I actually thought he was older at the time. But then we found out he couldn’t count past 10.”

“Launch helped with that. Thank goodness.” What did dad do before he met Bulma? Now I just have more questions.

“After he met me, we met Master Roshi, Oolong, Puar, Yamcha, then Ox King, Chichi. After we collected the dragon balls, your dad went to train with Master Roshi. Wait. Isn’t that when he met you, Krillin?”

“Yeah. At first, I thought your dad as my rival, and a weirdo. Jumping off cliffs like it was nothing, and saying how he found Master Roshi’s rock because it smelled like him. I also thought he was extremely stupid.”

“Oh please, he still is.”

“HEY! MY DAD ISN’T STUPID!” Why they have to say that about my dad? What’s their problem? Mom does say dad doesn’t know much about books, doesn’t mean he’s dumb. His mind just works different, and he’s way smarter than people think. Well that what mom says, and I agree with her.

“Sorry kid. But face it, your dad is slow.” Bulma isn’t nice at all.

“To be honest, he has his moments. Heck, sometimes I question if he just acts dumb.” Krillin is way nicer. “Besides kid, why did you want to know how we met your dad?”

“Dad doesn’t talk much about his past. So, I was just curious.”

Krillin ruffles my hair. “Aw kid. How bout after this is all done, we can tell you stories about your dad’s adventures with us.”

I couldn’t stop the smile that grew on my face. “Really?”

“Wow, you really are his son. You got his smile and everything. Creepy.” Why did Bulma say that? Well, break was over, and Krill and I got back to training.

…

Master Roshi finally left, and Chichi was putting a new bunch of flowers away. I was debating on if I should try to escape or ask her to join me on the roof. Both options were good. One hand, if I escape, I’ll just be on the roof anyway. I don’t plan to go far. On the other hand, having Chichi with me would be nice. Heck she won’t let me train, but having her with me would be nice regardless. “Whatever you’re thinking, forget it. You move one muscle from that bed, and you’re in trouble mister.” Aw man. Not even for a little fresh air? “Your definition of ‘fresh air’ means training, so no. And don’t pout at me.” I couldn’t help lick my lips at how angry she looked. It even made her blush.

I wish I didn’t have to share a room, maybe we could have done something. Now Chichi face, even her neck, turned red. “Shut up.” So, take me to the roof. That was a one time. “Stop pouting!” She walked over to me, arms crossed and her angry puffy face. Now I felt my face burning. I can’t even look at her right now, when she does that. It’s so unfair. I want alone time with my pretty wife! Especially with her angry at me. “Goku!” CRAP! Don’t look! It’s a trap. She grabbed my face, and forced me to look at her. CRAP! My wife is looking like a goddess right now. This sucks! I can’t do anything to her! “Suck it up mister, and get some rest.”

I have to think of something quick. “Feed me?” Why the hell that was the only thing I could think of? But heck, it stunned even her. Even to the point of blushing again.

…

“Feed me?” Is my husband serious right now? The way he’s been looking me this whole time, and what he’s been mentally saying, makes me question what he’s actually asking. Does he mean actual food? Because I can easily do that. But if he means the other thing, no way. With his cast arm, he pulls me closer and licks my neck. “Feed me.” He even goes and gives me a light suck. I could feel my whole face burning. Goku! Stop that! We’re in a hospital room, with other people! “The curtains are in the way. Feed me. Please.” He then trailed licks and kisses down my neck. Once he reaches the bitemark, does he licks and nip there.

Damn it Goku! How about an apple? He pokes my right breast. “These apples?” No. Actually apples. “But I want these.” He pokes again. I can’t believe he’s actually doing this. It feels like my whole body is on fire from both being shamefully aroused, and mortified that he’s doing this in a hospital. Dear kami, give me the strength to survive this. “Huff.” Uh? Goku had let me go and is looking anyway. Are you mad? “Yes.” Why? He didn’t even reply. What in the world did I do to make you mad? Am I really doing anything wrong by giving my wife attention? Besides, you started it. Uh? Oh! I poked his face. Stop being a baby. “Then stop teasing me, if you don’t want it happening back to you.”

I just sat at the edge of the bed, and brought his head to rest of my chest. He smiled at that; he even kissed my breast. “Can you please take it easy, and rest up. You’re going to worry me sick if you don’t.” I gently scratched the top of his head, and rubbed his back. He purred his content into my chest. “You’re such a big softy.” And you’re too good to me. Can you hum? I really miss it. Sure. Before long I had hummed my dear Goku to sleep.

This kind of reminds me of the first time Goku couldn’t figure out how to calm down a crying Gohan. He tried everything I showed him, and it still didn’t work. It got so bad that not even him rocking back and forth and trying to hum work. On top of that I was way to exhausted myself. Goku was just trying to give me a break. That was the day we found out about the tail thing, but Goku didn’t like that he had to do that. On top of that, he didn’t want put Gohan in his room. Goku ended up working out, while holding Gohan the whole time. At some point he woke up, but neither of realized. If it wasn’t for the baby sounds, Goku wouldn’t have stopped to see an awake Gohan. The moment Goku stopped did Gohan start crying again. Then Goku did sit-ups with Gohan, and the crying stopped. And now we found a nicer way to keep Gohan calm. Well, when he’s with Goku. That thought always make me laugh. But it was nice, knowing Gohan enjoyed his father.

…

Me and Krillin are starting to get tired of cleaning after Bulma. Plus, I’m super hungry but I don’t want to say anything. Mom did pack me a ton of snacks, but I been trying to save as much as possible. Then again, mom did pack a ton of meals in capsule form for me. Saying how I need to eat healthy. But when I first took one the capsules Bulma and Krillin gave me a weird look as I ate. Commenting that I really was dad son, and they still couldn’t get over how much he ate. I always knew me and dad ate a lot, and mom ate so little. But mom never said anything. Actually, she would be super happy whenever we asked for another helping. Or super mad, when we didn’t finish.

The few times mom did eat a little more than usual dad always couldn’t stop smiling at mom. But I don’t get Krillin’s and Bulma’s reactions. Maybe this whole thing of eating a lot is an alien thing. What did uncle Raditz and that Vegeta guy say we were again? Saiyan? Is that how you even say it? After the whole reaction, I tried to eat slower, and even at least half and save the rest for later.

“Are you ok?”

“Yeah, Krillin.”

“So, why aren’t you eating?” I didn’t even realize I wasn’t eating. I must look sad or something. He ruffled my hair. “Come on kid. You got to keep up your strength for Namek. Speaking of Namek, how long we got Bulma?”

“Just another 2, maybe even 3, days or so.” Wow, the months were going by fast. I better finish and train again, with Krillin.

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waitingformyfavoritesongs · 1 year

Text

2 March 2023 Thursday 9:44 am pdt

incubus wants me to believe that Jaycee dugard wasn’t ready raped. Know what incubus? You want me to believe it I’m your wife & we have children but I don’t have any memories or proof. If she has children w/ him & she says she was I’m going to air on the side of caution & believe what she said & what she wrote & that manipulated everyone’s minds to make them robots w/o memories to make people believe you when you probably lied. Bcz the pain & suffering you caused me is not a lie. The destruction you did to my body was not a lie. So how can I believe anything you say? She said the tazer didnt hurt but the raping did? I’m going to air on the side of caution Bcz children were probably starving during COVID from empty hot pockets. 9:50 am pdt hot pockets that were given to schools for children who needed free lunch & breakfast. 9:51 am pdt

incubus wants me to believe I place money above people, even when it comes to family & friends. 😞😤🥵😤😖😭9:52 am pdt I will evaluate myself about this concern. I cannot say I’ve been 100% not condescending. Maybe 🤔 there were a few times. Bcz not a lot of people liked my dad. Maybe 🤔 it’s passed down genetically? 😞 two things I remember my dad saying, if I omit my dads speculation about my mom, we’re: if you eat vegetables you won’t be fat - the people he said this to got very upset 😠 ; & he yelled at an Asian family saying “you’re greedy!” Bcz they did not wait to let him out of parallel parking first but I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ if they realized he was ready to leave & if he left first it would have made it easy 4 them to leave. 9:58 am pdt my dad was thrifty but splurged on some things. My dad only physically hit me once but seemed regretful afterwards. 9:59 am pdt & never did it again. 10 am pdt

10:10 am pdt incubus is heating up my back. Last night incubus made it even more difficult to breathe after giving me more heart ♥️ pain when I was finally able to breathe 🧘🏻‍♀️ & almost fall asleep 😴. This was very late at night or after midnight 🕛? Before 2 am pdt. For many minutes I couldn’t breathe 🧘🏻‍♀️ & head more head/top of head skull 💀 pain. I think 🤔 he’s changing my head shape? 10:13 am pdt agonizing. Still coughing a lot, my mom said she can hear me down the hall of the hotel 🏨. We left more than a day ago. Bcz my aunt & cousin don’t want us around. 10:15 am pdt b4 we left my aunt said we’re not family. My aunt usually says things to people in the family a lot of comments on Facebook, too. She has many Facebooks I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ why. My mom has told me she usually says stuff like that to everyone. Many of the siblings don’t want to talk to her, my mom said. & also my mom says she is different. I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ if everyone is overly sensitive but she gave me a hard time for barricading the door 🚪 w/ a big fan & 3 step folding ladder 🪜 Bcz of fear that someone might force their way in who wants to hurt us, & she called me crazy Bcz of this & gave me a hard time no matter what explanation I gave. 10:21 am I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ if this is karma for something I did, but incubus made me lose my drivers license probably Bcz I didn’t let my sister borrow it for a 21+ years old event. 10:22 am pdt so I have to question incubus’ motives & dealings of karma. 10:23 am pdt b4 my aunt met her ex-husband she was convinced she was destined to have a daughter. & then she met him, married him, & only gave birth to one daughter. I p <- incubus did that 10:25 am pdt I recently gave more thoughts 💭 to this, how incubus is able to promise someone a daughter or son. Then it occurred to me Bcz man has 2 testicles, that one was for making daughters & the other sons. Last year I saw 10:26 am pdt gotta go 10:27 am pdt

10:46 am pdt...

5:45 pmpdt incubus has been attacking me with a lot of acid. Chuncks of tongue 👅 have been destroyed. Makes me think about that incubus also did many acid attacks in my throat, vag, then this evening my left eyeball 👁😒😖😭😤🥵😤🥵😤🥵😤😰🥺 5:48 pmpdt I feel not very confident about myself. I fear who I really am. I have had to fight against a lot of my own feelings a lot that it’s exhausting. 5:50 pmpdt I guess I have more confessions that I have to think about. 😵5:51 pmpdt

something that I was going to write ✍️ earlier b4 I was interrupted by my needs, I’m watching news 📰 secret 🤐 room in Giza pyramid found, tamron hall earlier said something about there are less men in college now? Trying to remember. I think I remember seeing news 📰 that many men, probably in age teens thru early 30s died of heart ♥️ complications? During COVID. Also a young male pharmacist 👨‍⚕️. That’s why I said that incubus was probably killing off good men, if he’s really a cheater/adultery/polygamist/wife beater & now we see Nick carter is suspected of being a rapist. In autocorrect I saw “fake” “rape.” Autocorrect: I Brendan A . Virgin lot very. Vertical vertical. Jv iheartradio Lyme disease. If he’s gone without notice & people close to him don’t know where he is I would be concerned. 6:02 pmpdt. I don’t want to assume that the Nick carter rape is fake. I don’t think that would be nice to an actual victim. 6:04 pmpdt

so, I am having a lot of difficulty breathing. Still. 6:06 pmpdt

6:27 pmpdt turkey found a live dog 🐶 from the earthquake ... earlier when I wrote I was watching news 📰 maybe 🤔 he wasn’t really in the original earthquake? & was wandering? I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️

6:30 🕡 pmpdt Jewish officials in Michigan.. incubus is burning 🔥 me again. I only think my death ☠️ is coming. 6:32 pmpdt

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skippyangel16 · 3 years

Text

Favourite things 🧾

When I’m feeling doubtful, when I’m feeling sad, I simply remember the beautiful receipts and then I don’t feel so mad? 🤯 Am I crazy?

You know I’m a new shipper, only been looking at tumblr since April this year and only started posting less than 3 weeks ago.

I do think sometimes what if I’ve got it wrong, I’m only human!

So I challenged myself to list receipts off the top of my head and this is what I got…(in a few minutes)

1 Sam saying wanted to push this relationship on? Who says that unless it’s for love?

2 Red carpet in her frilly dress, Sam “Good way to cover it” later Cait says “you smell nice.” being told to shut up by their team as voices can be heard on mike. Why? What’s wrong with her saying her co star smells nice?…

3 Saks: Why would Sam get so upset about revealing he wore a suit on a beach and was on the edge, why would Cait need to comfort him? Unless something to hide…why would she need to say f*** them!👇

4 All the wifey/hubs texts who would do that if supposed to be with someone else?

5 The look of lust on red carpets, plus all the kissing, who would do that if with someone else, disrespectful!

6 IFH what was all the drama about if they weren’t together. Why did they both look the worst they have ever looked, pale, stressed, nauseated and especially unhappy 🙁. Why would Sam say “ We could try”, “Why would Cait say 🤐” It was all too weird….

7 Wolf whistling Cait T2 prem when her “boyfriend” is stood behind them. Disrespectful !

8 Getting jealous of a past boyfriend she had at 14 at same T2 premier during interviews.

9 Paley 2015 The kisses, flirting, touching, ring…

10 Sam looking after Eddie whilst Cait running marathon, if leading separate lives why so interconnected? Didn’t you have something hot and single to do?

11 Same pics IG/Twitter, same likes, following same accounts eg baby food. Too many to not be together.

12 Sam said she was at TSWDM premiere, why did you mention she was there when she stayed hidden?

13 In interviews, the “looks/ secret codes” Cait signalling Sam to shut up with her knee re the table…

14 Both not being able to get back to LA but supposedly in different places! Only one airline had problem.

15 Morning selfie, then deleted and both missing whisky tasting!

16 Same hotel on Mother’s Day in Scotland? Wouldn’t you be doing stuff separately with own family?

17 Sam Why would you say we are together, if you’re not? ……..and why do you not say you’re not together when asked if you are? and then you go into deflection mode and change the subject thats your standard answer? so many times!!!!

18 Same hotel, different rooms for zoom calls for season 5 Outlander.

19 Inappropriate BTS outlander, if with someone else disrespectful plus nothing inappropriate seen with Tobias.

20 Why would Sam ask Cait if she’s “alright with this shite?”after just giving the most fake looking bro hug to her fiancé?

21 Both having exactly the same Audi family car. Neither of them supposed to have kids? Why hot single Sam got a family car, way too practical…

22 Boner on red carpet with the peek a bewb dress….say no more!

23 Friends, collegues suggesting otherwise….so many!

24 Baby announcement way too weird, not saying it’s Tony’s by name 😫 who would do that unless it’s a lie…

25 If you’re promoting yourself as hot single Sam then why 👇 suggest you are a son in law?

26 Weird IG/ tweets pre and post on Cait wedding day.

So that’s what I came up with straight off the top of my head ( I’ve thought of more since) and now it’s written down guess what, I know I’m right! they HAVE to be together, it’s all too weird for them not to be right?

I’m not going crazy, am I? 😜🤞

If I’ve got it wrong I won’t be able to trust my gut/eyes ever again?!

Post 23 Sept 2021

#tumblr #samcait #receipts #post sept 2021 #favourite things

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landinoandco · 3 years

Note

Hey could you do one with max verstappen, where the reader a fight about him not helping around the house (witch he doesnt do because he is just tired from working hard but the reader dont know) so they yell at max and he suddenly walks away but then they find him crying in bed, because hes overworked and feels like hes never gonna be good enough at being a driver and the readers boyfriend. And feels like he can only dissapoint the reader, his dad and cristian. But the reader comforts him. Tnx

Because I'm not good enough...

Max Verstappen x Reader

Warnings: angsty

Word count: 2 k

Requests are open :)

You were sat at the dining room table, staring out at the empty seat in front of you. Your arms crossed across your chest and your lip in between your teeth. You had been sat there for an hour - in the grand scheme of things an hour didn’t seem like such a long time but it was his final warning and an hour was just long enough to allow for your anger to boil over.

Dinner was in the fridge - the same dinner you had cooked an hour ago, your phone lay screen up on the table - the same phone you used to call Max two hours and a half hours ago, he told you he was on his way home. Home whilst you were in the UK was 25 minutes away from the Redbull HQ. This was becoming a regular occurrence, some nights he would come home so late that you had already taken yourself to bed. The atmosphere in the house seemed to freeze over whenever he was around even though you were yet to come out of summer, there was something hanging over the pair of you - unspoken feelings and as of now a red hot anger that threatened to escape from your usually composed nature.

Ever since the championship had taken a turn in the favour of Redbull, Max had started to become much more distant. It started off with him not inviting you along to the races, leaving on the Wednesday before race weekend and sometimes not seeing him until the following Tuesday and that was on a stand alone race weekend. On the triple headers, it could be nearing two weeks until you two were spared 5 minutes alone and even then it was a brief conversation before he rushed back to the factory or to train.

You thought you knew what you signed up for and since yours and Max’s relationship and that was three years ago so you thought you had seen it all - been through it all with him, witnessed every high and every low. This was a new territory and you knew that if it wasn’t tackled soon -

The click of the door lock echoed in the hallway, you straightened in your seat - eyes locked ahead of you and your knee bouncing.

Max sighed loudly and wiped his hand over his face, it had been a long day - he had been at the factory up until Christian had invited him out to lunch, it was nice to catch up with his boss and Max felt like he owed the man so much; guiding him through the years that had led up to the moment they found themselves in. Max felt like over the past years he had matured as a person, sometimes still short tempered but being an F1 driver it wasn’t necessarily a bad trait. After his lunch with Christian, his dad had called him - the less said about the conversation the better. By the time you had called, the last thing he wanted to do was come home and risk upsetting you. He had taken himself on a run - to clear his head and focus on what he was going to say to you because he felt like something definitely needed to be said.

He also owed a lot to you, you had put up with so much over the years and standing by his side even when he had made a mistake - although you were very quick to tell him when he was in the wrong. You seemed to be on his level, a blunt and forward look at life - there was no time for dawdling about when you had things to be done. Life was short and there was no time to waste.

Recently however, he was putting so much pressure and stress on himself about work that the hours slipped away from him and so did the time spent with you. He felt the atmosphere change around the pair of you - as though he was always walking on thin ice, the cracks beginning to show. The guilt he felt was nothing like he had ever felt before, all he wanted to do was talk to you but he was scared of pushing you away - which is ironic because not talking and letting the pent up anger build up was having the same effect. He was never that good when it came to talking about how he felt - as much as he wanted to he felt as though he would be a burden and that he would put too much pressure on you. He could never tell you what he really felt like inside. It was embarrassing, he knew that a professional athlete should never feel what he felt. It weakened him and having weaknesses in a sport like Formula 1 was not an option.

Max shrugged his coat off and walked through to the main room of the apartment - the room where you were sat waiting to pounce as though he was your unsuspecting prey.

He offered a tired smile, in response he got a sneer. Swallowing hard, you felt the anger take over, like some monster escaping from a cage.

“I have been sitting here for an hour, Max -” You shot to your feet, pointing at the table, your voice cracked slightly. “For months, you’ve been leaving me - it’s me who’s been cooking for us both, cleaning, washing - everything, Max. By myself.” You were shouting now, your heart threatening to break free from your chest. Max just stood there, a blank expression on his face - his gaze fixed to the ground. “I don’t understand what went wrong, Max. We were happy, hell, we spoke to each other. Now, I’m alone. In fact, I may as well be alone if this doesn’t change.” The words had fallen out of your mouth before you had any time to consider them - or the consequences. Your eyes went round with shock and you fell back to your seat. A loud silence filled the room.

Max, too, had not expected the words that had initiated the silence. He opened his mouth, eyes still on the ground, then closed it again before raising his head and looking you dead in the eye.

“You don’t mean that.” He managed to mutter, barely being able to raise his voice any louder. He felt a tired emptiness, this was the last thing he had wanted to happen.

“That’s all you have to say to me.” You rounded on him again, angry tears threatening to fall from your eyes.

“No - I -” He stuttered, then closed his eyes, inhaling slowly, “I just don’t think we should talk things through whilst you’re angry -” He saw you about to interject, when he raised his hands. “You have every right to be. That’s not what I’m saying. I think we should wait to talk about it so we don’t say things we are going to regret later.” Max could feel his throat constricting, he was battling to keep his emotions at bay.

You sniffed and nodded slowly, placing your head in your hands - hot tears escaping and shoulders tensed.

Max swallowed thickly, his eyes swimming with tears. He made a move and after no interruption left the room. He had only made it to the stairs before he collapsed, the fatigue getting the better of him. He was such an idiot, a fact he was certainly aware of now, how could he have let things get this bad. Did that make him a selfish person?

He couldn’t hold it in any longer, a harsh sob escaping from his mouth - fingers shaking and his head a loud mess.

As soon as Max had left the room, you had gotten up to get some water - when you paused, a sound catching your attention - a deep sounding sob. You waited, a line appeared between your brows. Slowly and carefully, you inched towards the door - waiting with baited breath for the sound again.

It was coming from the stairs and there was only one person it could be. Regret instantly pooled in the pit of your stomach, you hadn’t meant for him to cry. You were just so angry and he needed to know that.

“Max.” You called out softly, unsurprisingly there was no response. You went in the direction of the stairs and hunched over in front of you was your boyfriend - attempting to stifle his sobs. You rushed forwards, placing your arms around his shoulders and pulled his body into yours. Instinctively he wrapped his arms around your waist. You kissed the top of his head, stroking his hair as he continued to cry - you allowed him to empty his emotions out; some tears of your own betraying you entirely.

“I’m sorry, I really am.” Came a muffled voice. Pausing, you released your hold of him and placed your hands either side of his face - offering him a watery smile. Then, using your sleeves you wiped his tears away - he watched your every move, waiting for you to say something. When you didn’t, he braced himself - lips trembling; he knew it was now or never. He had to tell you how he really felt.

“I’m not good enough.” He stated simply, his eyes glossy. Your forehead furrowed. “I’m never going to be good enough to take the championship, I’m going to let everyone down. Everyone that has ever believed in me - it doesn’t matter what I do, how much work I put in - I’m never good enough. And you -” He paused, meeting your gaze, a lump forming in the back of your throat. “I keep letting you down, time and time again. I was the one who caused this, I’m never going to be good enough for you.”

“If you believe that -” You began, kissing the newly formed tears away, “Then I will eat your race shoe.” You moved to sit next to him on the stairs, pulling him into your side. “Why didn’t you tell me that’s how you felt.”

You felt Max shrug, the side of his head resting on yours. “I didn’t want to burden you with all of my problems, you already put up with so much.”

“I will always have time for you, Max.” Grasping his hand in yours, “You are enough, you are more than enough. You are Max Verstappen, the fastest, strongest guy I know.” You chuckled lightly, “I know it may sometimes feel like that and that’s ok. You are putting yourself through so much - maybe, it’s time to give some consideration for your personal life. It’s unhealthy to work all of the time - then we run into issues like these.” You spoke softly, almost whispering but you could tell he was hanging onto every word you spoke. “I love you, Max. I don’t know what I would do without you.” You admitted, turning your head to look at him. He chewed on his bottom lip, processing your words.

“I love you too, more than anything.” He murmured, placing his forehead on yours. You lifted your head slightly to leave a soft kiss on his nose, earning the corners of his lips to quirk up.

Closing your eyes, you relished being in his arms again, to have him close to you. You had missed it. You had missed him. Both of you knew you had a lot to work through, that it wouldn’t simply disappear but both of you were going to do it together. Hand in hand. And that was more than enough.

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delicrieux · 3 years

Text

—MAKE YOU SAY “OH” EXTRAS: TINDER

extra meaning non-canonical occurrence; can be placed anywhere in the “make you say oh” timeline after couple (cha. 14) and before the final “oh”.

pairing—corpse husband x f!reader warnings—tinder profiles, tw: men, swearing. word count—2.6k. format— written. ─── ❥ req by nonnie: y/n makes a youtube vid/live stream where she's just swiping through her tinder acc and corpse literally blocks her lmao

author’s note—akldsljfs this was such a funny idea i could not not write it lmao

ultimate masterlist. myso masterlist

You have pulled the biggest brain move by setting up both a facecam and a screen recorder on your phone. All is beautifully displayed and visible during the stream. Your fanbase is particularly intrigued on what exactly are you planning on doing today, seeing as your tweet of “strea” had been a bit vague, if not downright ominous. No emojis. No elaboration. You couldn’t even be bothered to finish the word. Truly, a mystery. Everyone tuned in and are currently waiting with bated breath.

A few of your fans must sense upcoming doom because the overall mood in the chat turns from optimistically intrigued to...evil. It’s an entity all on it’s own now, clawing at you through the screen with various renditions of laughter and devil emojis. A few eggplants thrown in there for good measure, accompanied, naturally, by the scandalous water drops. At first the common consensus is that you’re biting the bullet and going through your camera roll on stream. Definitely an idea worth considering, though you frankly don’t know what lies at the start of the 11k photograph journey, and you are afraid to check in public. Could be a harmless meme, could be a salacious pic you had saved of an OF star. It’s really a gamble. Either way, you would definitely get banned. You might still get banned. Why do you insist on doing shit like this?

Because it’s funny. Because you’re kinda stupid. Because it’s just so absolutely laughably easy to do.

A smile quirks your lips, and while it is not explicitly smug, the look in your eyes sure is, “Greetings,” You utter lowly, dimming the lights--the budget for this stream! Ugh, you went all out, “my children.”

mother i crave violence

sensing evil energy rn!!

i do not claim the energy in this video for myself or anyone else watching this 💖💖

^with peace and love shut the fuck up

“I know y’all lowkey hoes-” Upon your words the chat splits into two: one side eagerly agrees (even shares a few OF accounts! How helpful, supporting small businesses!), whilst the other feverishly insists on innocence. You make a face stuck somewhere between offended and bewildered, “Now c'mon now-I know you. I know you all. We’re the same, don’t-what was that?”

You try to scroll back to the comment but it’s loss in the sea of incoming messages, “I swear to God I just saw-”

Corpse_Husband: i love late night streams it’s not like i have anything better to do.

“COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORPSE!!!!”

rip headphone users

i cant feel my face when im with you by the weeknd but instead of face its my fucking ears

yall think full vol on pc is better?my parents woke up 😭😭😭😭

To think he’s spending his last waking moments for today with watching you (he probably still would have anyway, because you do not posses an ounce of shame or self-control and pester him relentlessly)! It makes your heart sing, and suddenly, a traitorous, fun hating idea barges it’s way through the crowd of incoherent buzzing and states: don’t do this. For some reason it also has the voice of Rae. As if that would work in guilt-tripping you- Rae never succeed, and her fictitious rendition in mind won’t fare much better either.

Still, you thought about it. That must count for something. Corpse will understand, won’t he? Why don’t you want to upset it in the first place? Men look so funny when they lose their shit, like hello, don’t you have anything better to do? But the image of Corpse just sitting there, hurt, distraught, leaving you on seen because he’s in his sad boy hours leaves a sour taste in your mouth.

queen rly went from 🥺😊 to 😕 u ok bbgirl?

Corpse_Husband: no pouts cutie

akjdjoeijdfse cUTIE??? deadass boutta r.i.p.

Well that succeeded in eliminating everything from mind, doubts included. If this was an anime, the scenery would shift into something roseate, with flowers and bubbles and sparkles all around you along with a halo or two. Alas, not an anime, rather reality. The led-lights, however, seemingly possessing a will of their own, slowly turn from deep violet to pink. You smile brightly, like the absolute dumbass you are, and you are met with a ray of heart and blushing emojis. You are just so cute, a real cutie! Still in your disguise adorable state, you swipe your finger on your phone screen, the grin never leaving your lips.

There, among the plethora of apps, nestled sits a red square with a white fire plastered on it. The delicate calligraphy on the bottom reads: TINDER.

The mood changes once again- you’re giving the roaches emotional instability by how quickly everything flips over- and the chat spams eggplants vigorously; some, of course, bravely fight against the thirst.

nooooooo i thought y/n is gonna stream in a god honoring way!!!

^pack it up girl defined

“So, Charlie and I-” You note a few awfully curious comments and squint, “-yes, we talk a lot. Charlie is a really good friend of mine. We’re best friends. Brothers. Sisters. Cousins. The whole fucking family tree-no, that sounds weird. Delete. Anyway, Charlie, being the absolute fucker he is, said, hey, you know what would be funny? And I was like, nooo, what would be funny, Charlie? And he says to me, he says, says, making fun of men on Tinder. And if y’all need any more proof that Charlie and I are platonic soulmates, then dunno, my children, my roaches, I dunno-I dunno what more to give you.”

You can’t be bothered reading the comments, there’s too damn many. You also need to save your reading comprehension for the actual bios. It has a time limit, that darn thing.

“Okay, so I made a profile earlier, but I hadn’t swiped on anyone yet-” Despite the fact, Tinder helpfully informs you that already 99+ people have swiped right on you, “So, this is me,” You show the pictures you have of yourself, and damn, not to be a conceited narcissist, but you look really good. Like if you saw yourself on Tinder, you’d super like instantly. “Uhm, so, my bio-my bio says: let’s sauce in the tub together, ya dig? splishy splashy, giggle giggle.”

i cant believe we are witnessing y/n trying to form a coherent sentence live

shes trying give her time

ya dig??? y not capeesh

what scene from the godfather is this lol?

“My anthem, is,” You laugh, covering your lips with your hand, “Corpsie, this is form you-” Proudly, you show that indeed, Corpse’s E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY FUCKING LIFE is listed as your anthem on Spotify, “Hehe.” Yes, you say that aloud.

Corpse_Husband: you’re killing me Corpse_Husband: thanks baby Corpse_Husband: now delete tinder ❤︎

You ignore his last quip, deciding it’s finally time to get this show on the road, “Right, let’s do this shit. I’m not actually going to swipe on any guys that look, uh, decent? Yuck, can’t believe I just said that, uhm, because I-because I feel like some actually deserve a chance with someone? I don’t wanna get anyone’s hopes up, as I am currently in a long distance relationship with Chrollo. So I’m just gonna swipe on, like, frat boy assholes. Because I don’t care if I hurt their feelings. Quite frankly I don’t think they possess them in the first place.”

The chat voices their agreements. With the ground rules set, you, giddy, click on the first profile.

Does Tinder know what you’re doing, your plan? The FBI agent watching you through your phone must be working overtime, bless his heart. They must, because the the first guy to meet you is named Jason, and there he is, blond hair and blue eyes, holding up a fish the size of his torso. Marginally adequate in looks, pretty good muscles. A solid 7 bordering on 8. He’s the same age as you, 15 miles away, and he studies at some college you don’t care enough to look up. Bio reads:

I like to drive fast. Fishing is my passion, but if you can’t catch me by the ocean, you’ll catch me catching waves, bro! Love a good gym date. You do squats, and I’ll keep a close eye to make sure you’re doing it correctly ;) You probably saw me at a party. Leader of the The Phi Kappa Psi. I’m a Gemini, if that matters lol.

You, of course, read it aloud, dramatically; provide some constructive criticism-he seems nice, but he’s a Gemini, so naturally, you can’t trust him at all! Also, that gym date session leaves little to be desired. With your rant done, you swipe right, and shocker! (not), it’s an instant match.

“Okie, I still wanna swipe of some profiles, so I’ll see what he’ll text later-” For a second you wonder the legalities of this stream, but you’re having too much fun to think of it further, “guys, I won't get sued, right?”

NOW she considers it

well....

if you do, we’ll kickstart your lawyer dw <3

Onto the next profile. Kevin, 25, is seen fixing his car- or, you assume he’s mid-fixing it, you don’t really know why else he’d hold a wrench and be covered in oil. He’s shirtless, and the caveman part of your brain echoes something closely resembling AWOOOGA!, but...but!...blonde hair, blue eyes. You pout again, “I don’t...I don’t really like blond boys, ya know? With the blue eyes and all, it’s just not my thing, uhm, unless it’s like-like...Armin from Attack on Titan. Else I don’t care.”

Onto the bio:

You have to treat a car like you treat a woman: go on long rides, take the lead, but most importantly, keep her oiled up 😜

“What the fuck did I just read?”

The chat is equally confused. You swipe right anyway- another match. Too easy.

The stream continues without incident for a solid thirty minutes- all of your matches, expect a few that genuinely looked like normal dudes that really couldn’t write a decent bio to save their lives, had been blond hair blue eyed gym rats with ranging forms of misogyny. Some opened with asking for nudes out right, some asked about your day first before asking for nudes. You prefer the former. Straight to the point! You admire the gall.

But then, down the forty-five minute mark a profile popped up that made you still by your phone, your smile dying as your eyes bulged. Dear God. Lord in heaven. Who is this demonspiit lookalike and why is he so fucking hot? The neck tats, the skateboard, the clothes- holy shit, you gotta close your mouth before some drool dribbles out.

No bio, just his name, Tyler, and that he’s 23.

“He boutta be 23 in me.” You mutter, swiping right with lightning speed.

WHAT DID SHE SAYYYYY?????????

tyler is y/ns karma for relentlessly mocking that one guy that had a whole ass list on what his “female” partner should be

^he deserved it and also tyler seems like a typical fuckboi y/n grow a braincell

look at mom 🥺 her eyes are sparkling

It wasn’t a match right away. You somehow expected as much, but it still upset you. Simp behavior, pathetic. The stream continued bravely, and when Tyler messaged you a simple “yo” you totally didn’t sequel. You didn’t manage to text him back on stream: texting all those guys that you didn’t really find all that attractive was easy, but this...You’re a sucker for a man who radiates red flag energy. His whole profile is a red flag. He might just be a red flag himself.

What can you do? Suddenly becoming color blind is not easy. Once the stream ends, you unmatch with everyone expect Tyler. He you chat with for a bit, but a sudden craving for different company makes you abandon him, too. You don’t feel too heartbroken for him- you’re certain there’s already too many girls in his dms. You wish them luck.

Happily, you delete Tinder. You go to Twitter, notice you’re trending again- look at you go! Queen shit- and as you compose a thank you tweet, something strange happens. You go to text Corpse, but when you click on his profile you grow cold.

YOU’RE BLOCKED. You can’t follow or see @/Corpse_Husband ‘s Tweets.

...Pardon? You hop onto Instragram and-also blocked. Seriously? And you thought you’re one petty bitch. Corpse is seriously prissy about everything. Damn, if he didn’t like your stream, he could’ve just said so. Didn’t need to, like, block you from his internet existence. So not cool.

You try texting him but no text go through. Well how will you let him know you deleted Tinder just like he asked? You relieve your frustrations by punching your pillow a few times. Later, you apologize to her, you didn’t mean to hurt her, it’s not her, it’s you. Fuck, 5 minutes of exile and you’re already loosing your mind.

“Raeeeeeeeeeeee!” You whine loudly. It’s roughly 2am now, but you don’t care. You’re too heartbroken to care. There’s a thump from her room, but nothing else, “Raeeeeeeeee!!!” You wail, wallowing in self-pity on your bed. You hear a very loud, very annoyed sigh from her room, followed by angry marching. Your door is abruptly thrown open, and in the dim, colorful light you see her scowl.

“What?” She grits.

“Can you please tell Corpse to unblock me from everything?”

“What did you do now?”

“I made fun of men on Tinder.”

She pauses, “...That doesn’t sound so bad.” She surmises, voice laced with suspicion, “What else?”

“...There was one really hot guy that I kinda sorta talked to after--”

“Y/n.”

“-But I totally deleted Tinder and honestly he was pretty boring, so, like, uhm, please?”

She sighs, the servery of which implies she is holding the weight of the world on her shoulders, and instantly you know that you won. She taps away at her phone, “You owe me one.” She states, and before you can reply, she exits your room and slams the door behind her.

Grinning, you text his phone again. The message goes through, oh gosh, you’re so relieved you feel like crying. This has been, officially, the worst five minutes of your life.

You Y DID U BLOCK ME LOSER!!! MAJOR LOSER ALERT!! I DELETED EVERYTHING IT WAS A JOKE r u still mad at me? y u always mad at me i never do anything:(

my husband You’re my baby, how do you think I’ll react when I see you publicly simping for some asshole on Tinder?

Oh no, he used the words, he delivered the killing blow. You’re finished. Your heart can’t take such a workout.

Not that you would ever admit it to him, though!

You hehe ur jellyyyy u always dis jealous hehe?

my husband Not jealous.

Yeah, you might not be the brightest tool in the shed, but even you know that’s a lie. You send him an array of kissy emojis that he doesn’t have the decency to reply to. Then, completely unprompted and dead serious, you send him a simple voice memo, saying: “You really have nothing to worry about, you know? You’re my favorite, Corpsie.”

He responds via text, reiterating that he’s not fucking jealous and that he just doesn’t like when you show such outward interest in anyone but it’s not like he cares or anything. It’s just really, like, weeeeird to see his baby simping for another man like that totally ruins the whole dynamic!!! It was only natural that he should block you on every social media platform, including his personal number (which, like, was completely necessary! Doesn’t matter that his viewers can’t see it, it’s gotta be super believable!), and inform his followers of that, because it’s all a joke, like, for the dynamic, that Youtube grind, you know? Ya dig? No personal feelings were involved at all. He totally wasn’t upset that you found someone else cute, no way!

my husband I’m not jealous. Lol.

You ik u repeated tht like 50 times u trynna convince me or??? lmao

my husband No comment. ...You don’t actually talk to anyone else like we’re talking, right?

You no one else calls me their baby if thts wat ur wondering at least not to my knowledge lol im all urs

my husband That makes me very happy to hear:)

Yeah, it makes you very happy, too.

hope you liked it!! xx

#corpse husband #corpse husband x reader #corpse #corpse x reader #corpse husband x y/n #corpse x y/n #myso #make you say oh #imagine #imagines

953 notes · View notes

dialovers-translations · 3 years

Text

DIABOLIK LOVERS DAYLIGHT Vol.5 Sakamaki Kanato [TRACK 1]

Original title: ワガママ

Source: Diabolik Lovers Daylight Vol. 5 Sakamaki Kanato

Audio: Here (Huge thank you to @filthyhelplessworld for providing the audio!)

Seiyuu: Kaji Yuki

Translator’s note: The title of this track really describes the whole thing perfectly, haha. I have an insane amount of respect for all Kanato stans out there who keep up with this little brat’s selfish behavior because it couldn’t be me. However, I am excited for this CD before of the first 2-3 minutes of the track. I can already tell things are going to get intense.

Track 1 ll Track 2 ll Track 3 ll Track 4 ll Track 5 + Epilogue

→ LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

Track 1: Selfish

The scene starts outside in the garden.

*Pshhhhhh*

*Thud*

[00:17] “Here you go. I purchased this tea because I figured it would strike your fancy. Since I decided to hold a tea party, I want to thoroughly enjoy it. Take a whiff. Does it not smell wonderful? Darjeeling is very subtle in taste, yet extremely fragrant. It fits you perfectly.”

You fail to respond.

[00:46] “Say, why would you ignore me? I prepared nothing but your favorites today, yet you won’t even say a single thank you...That’s a little strange, don’t you think? Why…? How…? I might as well just enjoy the tea party by myself then.”

You remain quiet.

[01:21] “I suppose you really won’t give me a response. ...You’re acting a little off today. Or is that just my imagination? Ahー Could it be because of that moon? The moon makes us Vampires feel restless inside. Perhaps it has the same effect on humans? Fufu...Fufufufu...Ahahaha!

*Cling*

[02:23] “Come on, you should try your tea before it gets cold. It is much more delicious when enjoyed hot after all. Take a proper look at these flowers I arranged for you!”

*Rustle rustle*

*Shatter*

“Haah...I prepared all of this for you...So be delighted...and smile…Hey? Say something! Look at me! I’m begging you…!!”

You fail to respond once more.

[03:07] “Hey...I’m talking to you…! Sniffle...Uu...WHY WON’T YOU SAY ANYTHING!?”

*SHATTER*

“Ah...Uu...Hic...Aaah...Uu...Why…!? Why!? Why!? Why!? Kuh...Why did you die…? Hey? ANSWER ME!!”

*FLASHBACK STARTS*

*Rustle*

[04:06] “Haah...Scoot a little closer. How am I supposed to suck your blood like this? Did you not hear me when I said I’m feeling unwell? Even having to sit upright in bed is rough. Are you not aware of why people come to the infirmary in the first place? You’re supposed to nurse me back to health, so be a little more considerate at least! ーー Come on, hurry!”

You walk over to the bed.

[04:47] “Took you long enough, gosh…”

You frown.

“...Hm? You’re asking if I’m upset? Hah. And what exactly makes you think that?”

You shrug.

“Hmー You choose to feign ignorance, huh?”

He looks away.

[05:11] “It’s nothing. ...More importantly, hurry up, will you? It’s difficult to drink your blood when you’re standing there, spaced out. Come closer. Don’t make me have to spell it out for you.”

You hesitate.

“...Why are you acting like that? Do you want to upset me?”

You shake your head.

“If you do not, then fix that attitude of yours.”

You finally step closer.

[05:50] “Exactly. You should have just kept quiet and obeyed me from the very beginning. ...Come on, now kneel down. I’ll suck your blood.”

*Rustle*

“Keep still? Ah…”

Kanato bites you.

*Sluuuurp*

[06:22] “Mmh…It’ll hurt if you move, remember?”

*Sluuuurp*

“Nn...Hah...Didn’t I just tell you to keep still!? Aah...Or do you want it to hurt, perhaps? Hahn…”

*Sluuuurp*

“Fufufu...~ So you actually do. You’re that kind of girl after all.”

You deny his words.

[07:01] “You don’t even know that about yourself? Well, I suppose it’s fine. I’ll be so kind as to tell you. Someone did say that humans are the most ignorant when it comes to themselves after all. I assume that goes for you as well? You see, you just love pain and suffering. Give that some serious thought (1). ...That’s why you did something which would upset me...It was on purpose, obviously!”

You shake your head.

[07:52] “Oh please, don’t play dumb now! I saw it with my own eyes! You were having a rather friendly chat with him ーー with Reiji at the manor, weren’t you? Hahn…”

*Sluuuurp*

“Ugh…! ...Fufu...What a forced cry! You can drop the act now. I already know you aren’t opposed to the pain, since it actually makes you feel good, doesn’t it? Did you have some fun with Reiji in a similar fashion as well? Hahn…”

*Sluuuurp*

[08:36] “...Did you think I would believe you if you denied it with tears in your eyes like that? Think again! (2) ...Mmh…”

*Sluuuurp*

You start to feel faint.

“Fufu...Are you pretending to suddenly feel faint as part of your act as well? Seems like you have become a natural at this.”

You explain.

[08:57] “You’re feeling unwell? Haha…That’s a new one.”

You ask him to stop.

“The answer is no. I’m not satisfied yet. After all, I’ve barely had any.”

You repeat that you’re feeling unwell.

[09:19] “You still insist on acting as if you’re in pain? ...CUT IT OUT ALREADY! I mean, it doesn’t make sense for this to suddenly happen, does it!? I’ve always been able to suck this much blood without any issues!

...Aah. I see. I get it now. You’re running low on blood because you let him feed off you, correct? That’s why you’re coming up with the random excuse of feeling unwell, am I right? That’s the only logical explanation! ...How dare you!”

Kanato continues to suck your blood as you protest.

[10:05] “If you’re so sure that I’m just misunderstanding things...Then why don’t you tell me straight up what you were talking about with Reiji yesterday!?”

You flinch.

“...Cat got your tongue?”

You tell him.

“You were discussing your health? ...Fufu...That’s a lie. After all, the two of you seemed rather close. Standing there together, whispering to each other.”

You look away.

“See? You’ve gone quiet again. Do you have nothing to say!?”

You apologize.

[10:50] “Kuh...Giving me a meek apology will only add to my anger, you know? ...Well, I’m broad-minded so I don’t mind letting it slide this once. However, do not dare to even get close to him again in the future. Can you promise me that?”

You nod.

*Rustle*

“...Hah!”

He pushes you away.

*Thud*

[11:25] “Oh please, you’re overreacting. I only pushed you lightly, yet you act as if you’re about to fall over. ...There’s really no need to still keep this act up though. Good grief…”

*Rustle*

“What are you spacing out for? Come on, wrap your arms around me.”

*Rustle rustle*

[11:50] “...Took you long enough to embrace me, geez. ...Stroke my head, please. I’m exhausted after sucking your blood, so it only makes sense you reward me now, right?”

*Rustle rustle*

“Exactly, just like that...More…You belong to me. All of you. From head to toe. Down to the very last drop of blood. ...Do you understand?”

You nod.

[12:33] “All you need to do is be with me. ...Forever.”

*Rustle*

“...Say? You don’t think we’re done, do you? We still haven’t discussed how you will apologize to me, have we?”

You tilt your head to the side.

[12:58] “That should be a given. You had the nerve to upset me after all. Right. I suppose I’ll have you prepare me a sweet feast. Homemade, of course. A cake doused in plenty of whipped cream, cookies, and chocolate...Oh, pudding as well!”

You agree, promising him you’ll try your best.

“Fufu~ I don’t know how they’ll turn out, however, you better make them delicious. That’s all. ...Understood?”

You nod.

“Fufufu...I’m looking forward to it~”

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes

(1) 胸に手を当てる or ‘mune ni te o ateru’ literally means ‘to put one’s hand on one’s chest/heart’ and is used when telling someone to think very deeply about something. (As if to look inside their own heart)

(2) 甘い or ‘amai’ doesn’t always mean ‘sweet’, but mean ‘weak’ or ‘naive’ as well.

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #kanato sakamaki #diabolik lover daylight #diabolik lovers translation #diabolik lovers drama cd #drama cd

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theartofdreaming1 · 3 years

Photo

As usual, my thoughts regarding this week’s prompts and random thoughts on chapters 25-27 are below the cut.

heart

The imagery that really caught my attention this time was Peeta pointing out the changes in the moon to Katniss: The only indication of the passage of time lies in the heavens, the subtle shift of the moon. So Peeta begins pointing it out to me, insisting I acknowledge its progress and sometimes, for just a moment I feel a flicker of hope before the agony of the night engulfs me again. - So for one, we see another example of Peeta focusing on the small details in life (which I’ve previously hypothesized to being an important element in his recovery from his hijacking) as well as Peeta being the one to give Katniss hope, even if it’s just for a brief moment. Also, it’s a nice parallel to Katniss looking at the moon and desperately wishing for it to be “her moon” back in chapter 23. As a nocturnal person, I also love watching the moon from my living room window🌙

mind

Hmmh, I don’t think that Katniss and Peeta’s win was predetermined - although I do believe that by introducing the romantic angle, they significantly improved their odds. A Career winning the Games is not really that special and exciting, since it happens so often (although Careers generally satisfy that excitement for violence/blood/gore, that plenty of Capitol people seem to share). As a volunteer from District 12, who achieved an extremely good training score and proved herself to be very capable in the arena already, Katniss definitely had an edge by playing into the classic underdog story, which offered another exciting “narrative” for the Capitolites to follow - that, coupled (heh) with the romance angle Peeta introduced? Katniss (and Peeta) definitely had the entertainment (and excitement through novelty) factor on their side. Ironically, Cato’s chances of winning were not as good as he expected, precisely because he was playing it by the book.

soul

Poor Peeta (and Katniss), it hurts that their relationship was in such a rocky place by the end of the book. Especially those weeks right after the end of Book 1, when there were still cameras around District 12 and they had to pretend while hurting must have sucked big time🥺

Chapter 25

Ugh, the muttations are just so unsettling... *shudder*

Honestly, I’m just so impressed by Peeta’s presence of mind to draw that X on Cato’s hand, after he had just most of his calf ripped off, only to be grabbed and put in a headlock by Cato! He and Katniss work insanely well under pressure

God, Cato’s death is just so gruesome and awful... In the end, his “gift” from the Feast doesn’t help him win at all, but instead ends up prolonging his suffering a cruel amount... I wonder if in general these “gifts” come with a string attached (aside from the expected danger of trying to get them, I mean) - because the Gamemakers also intend for Katniss’s “gift” (medicine for Peeta) to force an even more cruel outcome on her - saving him from blood poisoning only to be forced into killing him herself... 🤔

I’m not sure if this is exactly medical protocol, but I’m terrified that if he drifts off he’ll never wake again. “Are you cold?” he asks. He unzips his jacket and I press against him as he fastens it around me. - Katniss is terrified of the idea of Peeta dying; at the same time, Peeta worries about her freezing - I can’t with these two 😩

Peeta begins to doze off now, and each time he does, I find myself yelling his name louder and louder because if he goes and dies on me now, I know I’ll go completely insane. He’s fighting it, probably more for me than for him - Katniss can’t lose any more people she cares about 😢; on a different note, Peeta fighting his unconsciousness “probably more for [Katniss] than for him” points out one of the crucial elements Katniss brings into Peeta’s life - she is that someone for whom he will fight - including for his own life and well-being - even when it feels easier to give up... Having that person in your life that keeps you going can make all the difference - if Katniss hadn’t had Prim and promised her “to really, really try” to win (and later also made Rue the same promise), I’m not sure she would have made it this far; it’s the thought of Prim anxiously watching her after Rue’s death, that forces Katniss to keep going, to not give in to despair after that particular traumatic event - Peeta, on the other hand, didn’t really have that kind of person in his life, as he will point out on the beach in CF (and Katniss acknowledges herself that the only person who will be devasted if Peeta dies is her)... that is not to say that neither Katniss nor Peeta aren’t fighters on their own - but it helps to have someone that inspires you to not give up

the adrenaline pumping through my body would never allow me to follow him, so I can’t let him go. I just can’t. - We’ll see the mirrored version of this by the end of Mockinjay

Pity, not vengeance, sends my arrow flying into [Cato’s] skull. - Another act of rebellion, technically (sure, this can be spun as Katniss killing Cato so she and Peeta may win - before Peeta dies from blood loss - but we know better - Katniss’s motivation was compassion for her supposed enemy)

We inch down to the tail of the horn and fall to the ground. If the stiffness in my limbs is this bad, how can Peeta even move? - Peeta is tough as nails, yo!

Before I am even aware of my actions, my bow is loaded with the arrow pointed straight at his heart [...] I drop my weapons and take a step back, my face burning in what can only be shame. “No,” he says. “Do it.” [...] “I can’t,” I say, “I won’t.” - In spite of her initial reflex, Katniss chooses Peeta/ chooses not to kill him; it’s a recurring theme in their relationship (despite her wariness of others, she chooses to open up to Peeta eventually; although she vowed to never marry and have children, she’ll choose to have a family with Peeta); also, my psychology-brain just noticed how this moment illustrates how harmful thoughts/impulses don’t have to determine your actions and are not an indicator of who you are - it’s about what you choose to do

“You’re not leaving me here alone,” I say. Because if he dies, I’ll never go home, not really. I’ll spend the rest of my life in this areny trying to think my way out. - Again, makes me think of MJ; also, I think that from this point onwards, Katniss and Peeta are officially linked together forever; the bond they forged during this traumatic experience will connect them to each other until the day they die

“On the count of three?” Peeta leans down and kisses me once, very gently. “The count of three,” he says. - My heart😭

Chapter 26

... while our muscles are immobile, nothing is preventing the blood from draining out of Peeta’s leg. Sure enough, the minute the door closes behind us and the current stops, he slumps to the floor unconscious [...] Through the glass, I see the doctors working feverishly on Peeta, their brows creased in concentration [...] I’m not sure, but I think his heart stops twice. - Peeta was in such a bad shape by the end of the Games; I’m still kinda salty that the movie really glossed over this fact :/

... they’re taking Peeta but leaving me behind the door. I start hurling myself against the glass, shrieking and I think I just catch a glimpse of pink hair - it must be Effie, it has to be Effie coming to my rescue - when the needle jabs me from behind. - Oh geez, in Catching Fire Katniss will also get sedated in a hovercraft because she’s upset about being separated from Peeta 😢 (also, Katniss thinking that Effie is coming to her rescue 😭)

While she [Lavinia, the avox] adjusts my pillows, I risk one question. I say it out loud, as clearly as my rusty voice will allow, so nothing will seem secretive. “Did Peeta make it?” She gives me a nod, and as she slips a spoon into my hand, I feel the pressure of friendship. - Katniss is so considerate of Lavinia’s situation, and Lavinia’s giving her a gesture of comfort and support; they’ve never been able to have a proper conversation (Katniss doesn’t even know Lavinia’s name), but still they managed to build up such a bond - compassion certainly is a strong thing to behold 😭 (and this whole scene is just through and through about compassion, with Katniss asking how Peeta is doing!)

Home! Prim and my mother! Gale! Even the thought of Prim’s scruffy old cat makes me smile. Soon I will be home! - Katniss is so excited to see her home and her loved ones again

I want to get out of this bed. To see Peeta and Cinna - Aww, the two people she grew closest to over the course of the past weeks (Haymitch will be added to that list in just a smidge)

Or do I hear a man’s voice yelling? Not in the Capitol accent, but in the rougher cadences of home. And I can’t help having a vague, comforting feeling that someone is looking out for me. - Thank God for Haymitch!

And behind one of them [doors] must be Peeta. Now that I’m conscious and moving, I’m growing more and more anxious about him [...] “Peeta!” I call out, since there’s no one to ask - Katniss is sick with worry over Peeta; romantic feelings or not, she cares so fricking much for him by now!

I run for them [Effie, Haymitch, and Cinna] and surprise even myself when I launch into Haymitch’s arms first. When he whispers in my ear, “Nice job, sweetheart,” it doesn’t sound sarcastic. - These reunion scenes are so intense and heartwarming! And then Katniss asks about Portia and Peeta because their presence would make this scene complete

when I asks for seconds, I’m refused. “No, no, no. They don’t want it all coming back up on the stage,” says Octavia, but she secretly slips me an extra roll under the table to let me know she’s on my side - It’s moments like these that help humanize Katniss’s prep team - they might be shallow, they might be completely oblivious and ignorant, but they aren’t that bad [of course, the prep team chattering about their mundane lives while talking about the event that ended with the deaths of 22 children shortly after, leaves a bad taste in our mouths]

I immediately notice the padding over my breasts, adding curves that hunger has stolen from my body. My hands go to my chest and I frown. “I know,” says Cinna before I can object. “But the Gamemakers wanted to alter you surgically. Haymitch had a huge fight with them over it. This was the compromise.” - God, the idea that the Gamemakers wanted to give a boob job to an unconscious, malnourished 16-year-old girl makes me sick 🤢 (Also, what’s the flipping deal about boobs?! As a pretty flat-chested gal, I’ve always been annoyed that there are barely any bras my cup size that are not push-up ones; I’m not self-conscious about it, so stop making me pretend that I’m bustier than I actually am!)

“I thought it’d be something more... sophisticated-looking,” I say. “I thought Peeta would like this better,” he [Cinna] answers carefully. Peeta? No, it’s not about Peeta. It’s about the Capitol and the Gamemakers and the audience. Although I do not yet understand Cinna’s design, it’s a reminder the Games are not quite finished. - Ugh, that sinking feeling when Katniss and the reader realize that the Games are still not over... Sidenote: Peeta flirted up a storm with grimy, bloodied Katniss and complimented her when she wore Cinna’s first, absolutely badass costume (”You should wear flames more often”)... Katniss’s girlish outfit has nothing to do with Peeta and she knows it... Cinna could have dressed Katniss up in a trash bag and Peeta would have been smitten - although a trash bag by Cinna would probably still look pretty good ;)

“How about a hug for luck?” Okay, that’s an odd request from Haymitch but, after all we are victors. Maybe a hug for luck is in order. - Aww, Katniss actually wouldn’t have minded giving Haymitch a hug just because - sadly, this is about survival tips instead :/

But what was it Haymitch said when I asked it he had told Peeta the situation? That he had to pretend to be desperately in love? “Don’t have to. He’s already there.” Already thinking ahead of me in the Games again and well aware of the danger we’re in? Or... already desperately in love? I don’t know. I haven’t even begun to separate out my feelings about Peeta. It’s too complicated. - Poor Katniss... she didn’t have the time and peace of mind to sort out her feelings regarding Peeta before they all got tied up and muddled with her need for survival. Now she’ll be having an even harder time trying to untangle that mess :(

Chapter 27

Then there’s Peeta just a few yards away. He looks so clean and healthy and beautiful, I can hardly recognize him. But his smile is the same whether in mud or in the Capitol and when I see it, I take about three steps and fling myself into his arms [...] He rights himself and we just cling to each other while the audience goes insane. He’s kissing me and all the time I’m thinking, Do you know? Do you know how much danger we’re in? After about ten minutes of this, Caesar Flickerman taps on his choulder to continue the show, and Peeta just pushes him aside without even glancing at him. - Man, their reunion here always gets me - it would be so fricking good if Katniss didn’t have to worry about their potential doom 😒😔 - she barely has time to just be happy to see Peeta alive and well before slipping back into survival mode while Peeta is just genuinely thrilled to have her in his arms, completely unaware of the pressure and immediate danger Katniss experiences in this moment... It hurts so bad

I’m with Katniss - How did the previous victors endure rewatching those horrible moments from the Games?! I guess because they had to, but oof... I think I’d just completely shut down, blocking out the footage shown, ugh

But I do notice they omit the part where I covered her [Rue] in flowers. Right. Because even that smacks of rebellion. - In such a callous and cruel place as Panem, any act of compassion can be regarded as rebellion, it’s crazy. In a place filled with apathy, hedonism, greed, and cruelty, the most radical things you can exhibit are love, kindness, and respect!

A wave of gratitude to the filmmakers sweeps over me when they end not with the announcement of our victory, but with me pounding on the glass door of the hovercraft, screaming Peeta’s name as they try to revive him. In terms of survival, it’s my best moment all night. - Again, another instance where Katniss’s genuine feelings/reactions to Peeta are get muddled with her need for survival

The one thing I never do is let go of Peeta’s hand. - irrevocably linked with each other

Despite Haymitch’s running interference, I’m determined to see Peeta privately. - Katniss just wants to have an honest and open talk with Peeta 😢 (I get where Haymitch is coming from, and maybe in this instance it’s the right call, but we’ll see a similar situation in the beginning of CF when Haymitch advises Katniss not to tell Peeta about President Snow’s visit and that time, it doesn’t go so well...)

Then Peeta’s there looking handsome in red and white - for someone who isn’t sure whether she’s into him or not, Katniss sure mentions how good Peeta’s looking a lot 😏

“Well, there’s just this and we go home. Then he can’t watch us all the time,” says Peeta. - 👀👀 Peeta is so thirsty here; reminds me of when he pulled Katniss close to him in the cave before they set out to hunt... He clearly believes she’s also “already there” regarding their relationship; he’s never this “suggestive” (can’t think of a better word right now) with her once she lets him know that she doesn’t really know how she feels about him - I feel a sort of shiver run through me and there’s no time to analyze why - Katniss totally isn’t averse to what Peeta’s suggesting here, either (though there’s probably also a healthy amount of fear mixed in with the thrill of being wanted - letting people in can be terrifying)

I can feel Peeta press his forehead into my temple and he asks, “So now that you’ve got me, what are you going to do with me?” I turn in to him. “Put you somewhere you can’t get hurt.” And when he kisses me, people in the room actually sigh. - It’s me; I’m people 🙋🏼‍♀️ (also, the “turn in to him”?!?!! it just suggests such a closeness, I can’t-)

Katniss burying her face in Peeta’s shirt when she’s afraid she might cry learning that he lost his leg 🥺 (how awful it must be to be constantly on display while you’re dealing with your private feelings, ugh)

“... The moment when you pulled out those berries. What was going on in your mind... hm?” [...] It seems to call for a big, dramatic speech, but all I get out is one almost inaudible sentences. “I don’t know, I just... couldn’t bear the thought of... being without him.” - It might not be a super eloquent way to put what she was supposed to say, but this way, Katniss is being perfectly honest (and frankly, if she’d had the chance to properly process her feelings, she would have been able to voice this sentiment with less hesitation)

I go back to my room to collect a few things and find there’s nothing to take but the mockingjay pin Madge gave me. Someone returned it to my room after the Games. - For one, Katniss didn’t think of that pin (again), but also - was the pin returned to her simply because it’s standard procedure or did someone (like Plutarch, for example) arrange for Katniss to get the pin back, to keep her connection to this symbol going?

I stare in the mirror as I try to remember who I am and who I am not. - Poor Katniss! She’s been through so much, experienced so many traumatic events in short succession recently (aside from the trauma she already had), already had problems defining her identity beyond sheer survival, and now the Capitol also keeps pushing an identity onto her and a romantic relationship, when she hadn’t even had the chance to figure out how she felt about that yet

“... Haymitch has been coaching me through the last few days. So I didn’t make it worse,” I say. “Coaching you? But not me,” says Peeta. “He knew you were smart enough to get it right,” I say. “I didn’t know there was anything to get right,” says Peeta. - Oh boy. It’s always so painful to see Peeta realize that he’s been completely out of the loop; again, we’ll see how Katniss and Haymitch adopt a similar strategy in the beginning of CF: banking on Peeta’s good social skills and eloquence and keeping him in the dark. In a way, it’s a sort of compliment they pay to Peeta for being good with people, but, by not telling him, they are also using him for their purpose (which is motivated by caring for and wanting to protect Peeta, but still). Peeta is right to be upset about it - he has always been very clear about not wanting to be used as a piece in anyone’s games, really. And, as we will see later in CF, they are way more effective as a team when they are open and honest with each other.

“It was all for the Games,” Peeta says. “How you acted.” “Not all of it,” I say, tightly holding on to my flowers. “Then how much? No, forget that. I guess the real question is what’s going to be left when we get home?” he says. “I don’t know. The closer we get to District Twelve, the more confused I get,” I say. He waits, for further explanation, but none’s forthcoming. “Well, let me know when you work it out,” he says, and the pain in his voice is palpable. - It’s just so goddamn painful😢 They’ve both been done so dirty by that forced star-crossed lovers of Distrct 12 routine. (Sidenote: I appreciate that Peeta actually gives Katniss the chance to explain herself here - still, it’s too much to deal with on the spot so I can understand why Katniss ended up dropping the ball, even though it’s frustrating to read.)

That it’s not good loving me because I’m never going to get married anyway and he’d just end up hating me later instead of sooner. That if I do have feelings for him, it doesn’t matter because I’ll never be able to afford the kind of love that leads to a family, to children. And how can he? How can he after what we’ve just been through? - Oh Katniss, you certainly are skipping a couple of steps here; I’m pretty sure there are some options in between dating and being married with kids you could look into. Also, she’s just assuming that this is what Peeta wants, but she doesn’t know that at all - As someone who also has this stupid habit of imagining how whole conversations could possibly transpire and then resigning myself to the hypothetical outcome of said imagined conversation instead of actually having them: Don’t do that. ‘Never assume - it makes an ASS out of U and ME.’

I see Peeta extend his hand. I look at him, unsure. “One more time? For the audience?” he says. His voice isn’ t angry. It’s hollow, which is worse. Already the boy with the bread is slipping away from me. I take his hand, holding it tightly, preparing for the cameras, and dreading the moment when I will finally have to let go. - Ma babies! They are both so hurt and both just want to be with each other 😭 But they’ll need some time apart, to figure things out before they can do that.

#thgagain #thg #hunger games #everlark #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #my sketches and drawings #thg meta

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myonechicagoworld · 3 years

Text

CHICAGO FIRE – LEADERS LEAD (S01E22)

Kelly Severide: A promotion, huh?

Tara Little: You need to stay away.

Kelly Severide: You get a promotion, and meanwhile, I could go to

jail?

Tara Little: Get away.

Kelly Severide: They’re talking about filing criminal charges. Why

the hell are you doing this? I didn’t do a damn

thing to you.

Tara Little: I said to stay away.

Man 1 (Shopper): Are you okay, ma’am?

Kelly Severide: She’s fine.

Man 1 (Shopper): Ma’am?

Kelly Severide: We both know nothing happened that night.

Man 1 (Shopper): Hey.

Kelly Severide: Tara!

[car door shuts]

cutscene

Matt Casey: I have a request.

Hallie Thomas: Yeah? What’s that?

Matt Casey: [groans]

Hallie Thomas: Jeez.

[chuckling]

Matt Casey: We don’t move from this spot for the entire day.

[kissing sound]

Hallie Thomas: And you skip your shift?

Matt Casey: Hmm? I’ll just have truck pick me up here if we get any

calls.

Hallie Thomas: Tsk. I don’t think these boxers are going to stand up

against a fire.

Matt Casey: I’ll just call out orders from this spot. “Cruz, grab a 2 ½.

Mouch put down the sandwich.”

[kissing sound]

Hallie Thomas: At 24 hours and 1 minute, I wanna be right back

here.

Matt Casey: Deal.

cutscene

[car door shuts]

[kissing sound]

Matt Casey: See you later.

Peter Mills: I’m happy for ‘em.

Gabby Dawson: Yeah, me too.

Peter Mills: Are you?

Gabby Dawson: Without a doubt, yes.

[Mills & Dawson chuckles]

Peter Mills: Good.

So, um, this might be a weird time but um… I was just

thinking this whole two rent thing, it’s… it’s crazy.

Gabby Dawson: The two rent thing?

Peter Mills: I mean, you know, you’re basically living with me

already, and we don’t call each other to say, “Hey, I

mean are you home yet?” So… how about I give you

a key, we make it official, you move in? I realise…

that was the complete opposite of being romantic.

Um…

Gabby Dawson: No, no.

Peter Mills: No, look, I know I’m really, really bad at this. I-I keep

beating around the bush all the time. Look, I love you.

Gabby Dawson: Uh…

Peter Mills: I think we should live together.

Gabby Dawson: I’m…

Peter Mills: Oh, God. God, that was awful. That was really awful.

Gabby Dawson: [chuckles] Yeah, it was.

Peter Mills: Look, take the time you need to think about it. Let me

know. No pressure.

Joe Cruz: [groans]

Christopher Herrmann: All right, hey! Peter Mills, hurry up! ‘Cause I

gotta take your money after I finish with

Cruz here.

Peter Mills: [sighs] Okay, duty calls.

Leslie Shay: What up, sunshine?

[station alert and buzzes]

[ambo door closes]

(Over PA): Truck 81, Squad 3, Ambulance 61. Building collapse, 800

South Carpenter Street.

[sirens wail]

[horn honking]

Leslie Shay: He loves you. That’s great news, right?

Gabby Dawson: I don’t know.

Leslie Shay: Out with it. What?

Gabby Dawson: I… [groans]

I still haven’t come clean with him about Boden

and his mom. And it just… it feels like this dark

cloud hanging over us.

Leslie Shay: Over you, you mean?

Gabby Dawson: Well, to be fair, yes.

Leslie Shay: Okay. So repeat after me. “It’s not my business.”

Gabby Dawson: Shay.

Leslie Shay: I’m serious. That is between Boden and what’s her

name.

Gabby Dawson: I just feel guilty is all I’m saying. A lie of omission is

still a lie. And if we’re gonna be getting this

serious…

[sirens continue to wail]

[indistinct radio chatter]

[background commotion]

Police Officer (Jim Barnes): Chief. All the schools are on spring

break, big party. We were here on

D&D when we saw the whole thing

collapse, one porch on top of

another.

Police Officer (Nicole Sermons): There’s at least a dozen trapped.

Just tell us where you need us,

Chief.

Chief Boden: Get the surface victims first. Set up cribbing columns.

K-12, sawzalls to cut away the timber.

(into radio) Battalion 25 to Dispatch, we have a three-

story deck collapse, multiple victims. Give me an

EMS Plan 2 and two extra truck companies for

manpower.

Dispatch: (over radio) Copy that.

Woman 1: No! No, God! Oh, God.

Chief Boden: Ma’am?

Woman 1: Oh!

Chief Boden: Ma’am, stay back. Come back, come on.

Woman 1: No, let me go. Let me go!

Chief Boden: Okay. Look at me.

Woman 1: No.

Chief Boden: Look at me, look at me. We are gonna do everything

in our power to help your friend.

Woman 1: Paul. His name is Paul. He’s my fiancé. Tell me he’s not

dead. We were just talking [cries]

Chief Boden: Okay, Katie.

Woman 1 (Katie): [sobbing] No.

Chief Boden: I need you to listen to me.

Woman 1 (Katie): [sobbing] No. Please don’t say it.

Chief Boden: Katie, he’s gone. He’s gone, he’s gone.

Woman 1 (Katie): [sobs] No!

Chief Boden: Katie, you gotta stop. You gotta stop.

Woman 1 (Katie): [sobs] No!

Chief Boden: Okay?

Woman 1 (Katie): [grunts]

[slapping sound]

Woman 1 (Katie): You did nothing! [cries]

You did nothing! [cries]

[sobs]

- title screen -

[victims yelling in background]

Victim 1: [sobs]

Joe Cruz: I got one!

Victim 1: [sobs] I’m gonna die.

Gabby Dawson: You are not gonna die, ma’am.

You are not gonna die.

Firefighters: Watch that.

Yeah, I’ll get it.

You got it?

Gabby Dawson: She’s got an impalement in her chest and lots of

blood. We gotta get her free enough to transport

her and this piece of wood.

Victim 1: I can’t breathe.

Peter Mills: Take slow breaths, okay? Slow breaths. Slow breaths,

all right?

Police Officer (Jim Barnes): Hey. We got one.

Leslie Shay: We need some more hands!

Victim 1: I’m not gonna… I’m not gonna… I’m not gonna…

Gabby Dawson: Hey, what’s your name?

Victim 1: Valerie.

Gabby Dawson: Valerie, you’re gonna make it. You have to believe

that, okay?

Victim 1 (Valerie): Don’t lie to me. You’re not telling me how bad it

is.

Peter Mills: Okay.

Kelly Severide: Okay, Valerie. Keep still.

Victim: [whimpers]

[saw whirring]

Victim 1 (Valerie): Aah!

Kelly Severide: All right, clear.

Gabby Dawson: All right, let’s get her on the backboard! Now!

[siren wails]

[monitor beeping slowly]

Gabby Dawson: Heart rate’s dropping.

[monitor flat-lines]

Gabby Dawson: She’s crashing, Shay!

Leslie Shay: (into radio) 61 to Lakeshore, we’re coming in hot with a

trauma victim. 20 years old, impalement injury,

respirations are dropping.

Dispatcher: (over radio) Copy that.

Gabby Dawson: [heavy breathing] Come on.

Hallie Thomas: I need a crash cart. Call for respiratory and blood.

Let’s hang units of o-negative. Let’s get x-ray and

CT standing by.

Push an epi now.

[pumping ambu bag]

Hallie Thomas: Stop compressions.

We got a pulse! Let’s get her into trauma! Let’s go!

Nice work, Dawson.

Leslie Shay: Wow.

cutscene

[truck beeps]

Mouch: Could’ve been a hell of a lot worse. Two DOAs and I bet we

saved a dozen or more.

Joe Cruz: That right there is what it’s all about.

[Japanese on TV]

Christopher Herrmann: All right.

Hey.

[clapping]

Otis Zvonecek: What are you doing?

Christopher Herrmann: I’m supposed to speak to Luke’s class

about fire safety. So I’m gonna rig one side

of the house with flammable materials and

then the other side with flame-resistant

type stuff. Then, I’m going to demonstrate

the difference. Kids are gonna love it.

Otis Zvonecek: Oh. What could possibly go wrong?

Joe Cruz: Guys, guys, I have an announcement to make. Please, I

need everybody’s attention. Today, I came across

something so upsetting that it literally shook me to the

core. I was in the laundry room. I was pulling my stuff

from the washer to the dryer, and I discovered these left

inside.

Everyone: Oh!

[chuckling]

Christopher Herrmann: Don’t look at me. I’ve been a fruit of the

loom man since 1975.

[laughter]

Mouch: 20 bucks to whoever finds the owner.

Joe Cruz: Lieutenant!

[roaring with laughter]

Joe Cruz: No!

Matt Casey: First, they ain’t mine. Second, these don’t come down

until the owner steps forward. I can’t unsee this.

Someone has to pay.

Otis Zvonecek: He who smelt it hath dealt it.

Joe Cruz: You’re nuts. Those look like something that a Russian

would wear on his wedding night.

Otis Zvonecek: They’re not mine, but I will put my money on Capp.

Mouch: Keep deflecting, Otis. That’s a good strategy.

Otis Zvonecek: Oh! Whoa! Whoa!

[dog whimpering and barking]

[extinguisher spraying]

Christopher Herrmann: Maybe I’ll just let the kids wear the oxygen

mask.

[extinguisher blows]

Woman 2: Excuse me?

Christopher Herrmann: Yeah.

Woman 2: Hi. Uh, I was wondering, um, do you guys allow kids in

here to take a picture on a truck or something?

Christopher Herrmann: Yeah, of course we do. Where are the kids?

Woman 2: Oh. Um, I’m just checking. Some other time.

Christopher Herrmann: Okay.

cutscene

Chief Boden: You confronted her in a parking lot.

[water running]

Kelly Severide: I’m facing criminal charges. Damn right I confronted

her.

Chief Boden: You are not helping yourself.

Kelly Severide: Chief, I did nothing wrong.

Chief Boden: You did today. You strengthened her case.

Kelly Severide: Whose side are you on?

Chief Boden: I am trying to help you here.

Kelly Severide: Well, it doesn’t feel like it. I’ll handle this myself,

thanks.

Chief Boden: No, no. You contact her again, you go within 100 feet

of her, you will force me to take away your Squad.

Kelly Severide: That’s your way of helping?

Chief Boden: Yes.

Otis Zvonecek: Hey, Chief. Taking bets on the red skivvies from the

laundry. You interested?

cutscene

Gabby Dawson: My dad used to tell me, “You have a choice. You

can either choose to be in a bad mood…”

Leslie Shay: Right.

Gabby Dawson: “Or you can decide to be happy.”

Leslie Shay: Where is this going?

Gabby Dawson: Uh, at first, I… I wasn’t sure about Mills, right? Was

he too young? Was I just rebounding? Did we

move too fast? But then I realised, damn it, he’s

good to me. Be happy.

Leslie Shay: So you love him ‘cause you choose to?

Gabby Dawson: [laughs] No. Because I do.

Leslie Shay: Aw. My little Dawson’s all grown up.

Gabby Dawson: Oh, shut up.

Leslie Shay: What about the mom thing?

Gabby Dawson: I don’t know.

[ambo door shuts]

[station alert & buzzes]

(Over PA): Ambulance 61. Man down from unknown causes.

Gabby Dawson: Looks like it’s one of those days.

[siren wails]

[thunder rumbling, siren blares]

Gabby Dawson: Hey there, bud. How you doing?

Hey.

His pulse is fast. Let’s sit him down and check his

heart rate. Come on.

All right.

Leslie Shay: Oh.

Gabby Dawson: Here we go, bud. All right.

Leslie Shay: Okay… Virgilio Ventura. Welcome back, pal.

Victim 2 (Virgilio): [groans]

Gabby Dawson: You had a couple cocktails today?

Leslie Shay: No, I think something a little heavier. What’s your

flavour, Virg? A little H?

Huh. He’s clean. What’s up with you, buddy?

Gabby Dawson: Okay.

[monitor beeping rapidly]

Gabby Dawson: His heart rate’s racing at 150. He’s in SVT. We’re

gonna lose him if we don’t stabilise his rhythm.

[shirt ripping]

Gabby Dawson: Cardioverting at 100. Stand back.

Leslie Shay: Dawson, wait! His ears. Look at his ears. Look.

Gabby Dawson: Shay, he’s got an electrical burn.

[clothes ripping]

Leslie Shay: His shoe’s missing. It’s a third degree burn. He’s got

an exit wound.

Gabby Dawson: He was hit by lightning. We can’t shock him. His

heart’s had too much trauma. 6 mils of adenosine.

Leslie Shay: Yeah, yeah!

[monitor continues beeping]

Gabby Dawson: Hang in there. Hang in there.

Leslie Shay: Okay.

Ready when you are. On three. One, two, push.

[monitor flatlines]

Victim 2 (Virgilio): [gasps]

Leslie Shay: Okay, it bought us some time. Let’s get him out of

here.

cutscene

[thunder in distance]

Christopher Herrmann: What is it?

Chief Boden: Ah, nothing. Rough shift.

Christopher Herrmann: Yeah.

[car door shuts]

Christopher Herrmann: Hey, what are you doing for dinner tonight?

I’m doing all the cooking now that Cindy’s

in the home stretch. So it’s either gonna

be pizza or steak. It’s your call.

Chief Boden: Well, I can never turn down a Herrmann steak.

Christopher Herrmann: All right. Great.

Bring the beer, all right?

Chief Boden: I will.

Christopher Herrmann: All right.

Chief Boden: Thanks.

Peter Mills: Hey! Excuse me, Chief! Um, I was wondering, can I pick

up a couple shifts next week? Maybe pull 48?

These-These Squad classes are breaking the

bank, so… I just need the extra money.

Chief Boden: What did your Lieutenant say?

Peter Mills: Check with you.

Chief Boden: Well, we can make that happen.

Peter Mills: Yeah?

Chief Boden: I’ll talk to second watch.

Peter Mills: Thank you.

Chief Boden: Okay.

Kelly Severide: I’m not exactly one to sit on my hands, you know.

Leslie Shay: Yeah, well, you shouldn’t.

Kelly Severide: Yeah, well, that’s not what the CFD is advising.

I’m running out of options here, Shay.

Leslie Shay: I’m telling you, the more I think about it, the more I

think that she targeted you specifically. She knew

your background, and she took what, all of two

seconds to start flirting up a storm? Anyone do a

background check on her?

Kelly Severide: I’ve-I’ve been on my heels this whole time, no.

Leslie Shay: Yeah, exactly. It’s time to turn it around, go on the

offensive.

[car door shuts]

[engine starts]

cutscene

Gabby Dawson: You thinking about jumping?

Peter Mills: Hey.

Gabby Dawson: Hey.

Peter Mills: You made it.

Gabby Dawson: Yeah, bearing carbs.

Peter Mills: I see.

Gabby Dawson: Hey.

[kissing sound]

Gabby Dawson: What is it?

Peter Mills: You never answered my question. I know that I’m… I’m

moving too fast. I…

Gabby Dawson: Peter. I love you too.

Peter Mills: Really?

Gabby Dawson: Yeah, really.

Peter Mills: [chuckles]

Gabby Dawson: I just got one question for you. Am I gonna have to

borrow Antonio’s pickup, or are you gonna help me

move?

Peter Mills: I will help you move.

Gabby Dawson: Yeah, that’s what I thought.

[kissing sounds]

cutscene

Antonio Dawson: Hey.

Kelly Severide: Hey, man. Thanks for meeting me.

Antonio Dawson: You sure you know what you’re doing?

Kelly Severide: Tsk. Like I told you on the phone, I’m-I’m feeling out

of options.

Antonio Dawson: Well, it might be worse than you think. I called the

Assistant State’s Attorney. That Rutkowski’s

testimony landed, and they won’t be accused of

playing favourites for a firefighter. They’re gonna

approve criminal charges. I ran a background

check on Tara Little. She worked at an ad

agency. There were criminal charges filed and

then withdrawn.

Kelly Severide: Against her?

Antonio Dawson: No. A fellow employee there named Clay White.

There’s an address in there.

Kelly Severide: I appreciate it.

Antonio Dawson: If I was smart, I’d tell you to let a lawyer handle it

from here.

cutscene

[bell chimes]

Man 2: May I help you?

Kelly Severide: Are you Clay White?

Man 2 (Clay White): I am.

Kelly Severide: I was told to talk to you about Tara Little.

Man 2 (Clay White): A-Anything you wanna say about her, you can

tell my lawyer. Now get the hell out.

Kelly Severide: It’s… it’s not like that. I-I need your help.

Man 2 (Clay White): I was a mid-level executive at Ramsey-Cole, a

high-end ad agency on Michigan Avenue. Tara

was one of 20 graphic designers we had on

staff. Tara and I had hit it off. Was it

inappropriate? She was game, and I wasn’t

married. It was all consensual. We had some

fun but went in different directions, ended

totally civil. Then we lost an account. The

rumour mill started flying about downsizing.

Next thing I know, Tara makes a claim, says I

took advantage of her, it was a hostile working

environment. I was fired and ostracised by the

whole industry.

I’ve got an MBA [chuckles]

And this is what I do to pay my mortgage. She

got a nice settlement from what I heard.

Kelly Severide: Sounds familiar. Would you consider coming

forward?

Man 2 (Clay White): I signed a non-disclosure agreement, so she’d

drop the criminal charges.

Kelly Severide: You didn’t answer my question.

cutscene

Hallie Thomas: Let me take a look at him

Patient (Miranda): [winces]

Hallie Thomas: Wow. What happened?

Patient (Miranda): [sighs] I was texting on my phone, and I walked

into a damn tree.

Hallie Thomas: Oh, that’s a new one. All right, I’m gonna walk you

back to a bed, where we can get that thumb set.

You can walk with me?

Patient (Miranda): Yeah.

Hallie Thomas: No texting while you do it.

[chuckling]

Hallie Thomas: One sec.

Thanks.

[door buzzes]

Hallie Thomas: Hey.

Matt Casey: You used to always drop by the firehouse with lunch,

so… I’m returning the favour, if you have time.

Doctor (Margaret): Got you covered.

Hallie Thomas: Come on.

[door buzzes]

Hallie Thomas: I’ll show you around.

Matt Casey: Okay.

Hallie Thomas: We have five beds. But we can stuff eight in here if

we need to.

Matt Casey: All right.

Hallie Thomas: Um, a couple of visitation rooms, a couple of

offices. There’s where we keep the meds. This is

our bathroom. One bathroom, mind you, for all of

us, including the patients.

Man 3: Hallie.

Hallie Thomas: Oh, Steven Goody. He started the clinic. This is

my… this is Matt.

Man 3 (Steven Goody): Hey. Nice to meet you.

Listen, Hallie, do you think you could help

us out on Sunday, maybe, uh, noon to

5:00-ish? Dr. Arend can’t make it.

Hallie Thomas: Yeah, I think so. I just have to check my schedule

over at Lakeshore.

Man 3 (Steven Goody): Great. Just let me know, okay?

Nice to meet you, Matt.

Matt Casey: You too.

Hallie Thomas: One sec.

[door buzzes]

Hallie Thomas: Huh. That’s weird.

Woman 3 (Bridgette): What?

Hallie Thomas: Uh, well…

Woman 3 (Bridgette): Oh, yeah, I know about this. I’ll take care of it.

Hallie Thomas: Okay.

Matt Casey: Everything good?

Hallie Thomas: Yeah. I’m starving. Let’s go.

Matt Casey: You really like it here?

Hallie Thomas: Yes. When I was away, I remembered why I got into

medicine in the first place. I remembered a lot of

things I wanted to reclaim for myself when I

returned.

[laughter]

cutscene

[overlapping chatter]

[video game in background]

Christopher Herrmann: All right.

Herrmann Kids: Look it, look, look, right there.

Christopher Herrmann: I won! Yes! Turn that thing up. Screw the

neighbours [chuckles]

Chief Boden: Uh, uh, no, no. Doing the dishes is my specialty.

Cindy Herrmann: You’re sweet, Wallace.

Chief Boden: Anyway, ain’t you supposed to be in bed?

Cindy Herrmann: You think I’m going to trust Chris alone with those

monsters?

Herrmann & Boden: [laughs]

Chief Boden: Get outta here.

Boden & Cindy: [chuckles]

[glass bottles clinking]

Christopher Herrmann: So?

Chief Boden: So?

Okay. I, uh… I think I’m losing the respect of an

important man in the house.

Christopher Herrmann: Severide?

Chief Boden: Between this Benny and this Tara thing… I think he

thinks I’m the bad guy here.

Christopher Herrmann: Eh. What’s that you always say? “Leaders

lead from the front.”

Chief Boden: Yeah. Sounds like me.

Christopher Herrmann: Up front can be lonely, that’s for sure.

But… it goes with the territory, don’t it?

Chief Boden: Yeah. Thanks.

[bottles clink]

Chief Boden: Again.

cutscene

Matt Casey: Otis. Ready to lay claim to your undies?

[chuckling]

Otis Zvonecek: Yeah, you wish.

Mouch: Just come clean, Otis. No one will judge you. This is a safe

room.

Otis Zvonecek: [sighs] You know what? No. I-I can’t stand to look

at these another shift.

All: Oh!

[laughter]

Mouch: That’s it. Now I know they’re yours.

[station alert blares & buzzes]

(Over PA): Truck 81, Squad 3, Ambulance 61. Vehicle accident.

[sirens wailing]

[horn honking]

Woman 4 (Bystander): The Taurus there was just pulling out of the

hotel parking lot, when, bam! The trailblazer

hit it straight on.

Matt Casey: Thank you.

Kelly Severide: We’re on the trailblazer.

He’s DOA.

[indistinct chatter]

Matt Casey: Ma’am, try not to move until we get you collared and

braced.

Victim 3 (Lady): I need the report to say we’re just co-workers, and

we were coming from a lunch when that jackass hit

us!

Matt Casey: We don’t report that kind of stuff, ma’am.

Victim 3 (Lady): I gotta get out of here.

Matt Casey: Ma’am, you need to remain still.

I need that collar!

Peter Mills: Here you go, Lieutenant.

Matt Casey: Thanks.

Chief Boden: (into radio) Struts, wedges, and cribbing. Stabilise that

car so you can get that woman out.

Kelly Severide: You heard him. Get that cribbing in place. Capp,

centre part!

[glass shattering]

Kelly Severide: Get it piped down. How are we on the other side?

[metal clanging]

Joe Cruz: Almost there.

Chief Boden: Good. Let’s cut that roof away.

[machine whirring]

Kelly Severide: Watch for sparks.

Roof’s clear.

Christopher Herrmann: C-collar.

Leslie Shay: Copy that. Flying in.

Kelly Severide: All right, you ready?

Leslie Shay: Take her out as straight as possible.

Victim 3 (Lady): Where are you taking me?

Gabby Dawson: Lakeshore.

Victim 3 (Lady): Will you call my husband and tell him you found me

by myself?

Gabby Dawson: Ma’am, you’re gonna have to take that up with the

doctors at the hospital.

Victim 4 (Man): [groans]

Kelly Severide: Hey, I’m gonna need you to cover for me for an hour

when we get back to the station.

Harold Capp: You got it.

cutscene

Tara Little: You’re supposed to stay away from me.

Kelly Severide: Am I?

Tara Little: [scoffs] You’re finished. You hear me? I am about to

scream so loud.

Man 2 (Clay White): Hi, Tara.

Tara Little: [scoffs] He can’t. He signed…

Kelly Severide: A non-disclosure and confidentiality agreement?

What else can you take away from him? I checked

with the union attorney, and it turns out in cases of

fraud, the courts don’t care much about those

agreements.

Tara Little: Fraud?

Kelly Severide: Maybe we take you to criminal court, get testimony

on the record or you retract your lie, quit this job.

We never see each other again.

cutscene

Woman 2: Excuse me.

Christopher Herrmann: Yeah.

Woman 2: Hi. Um, I was the one that asked about the pictures.

Christopher Herrmann: Aw, yeah, of course. How are you?

Woman 2: Hi.

Christopher Herrmann: Hey.

Woman 2: Uh, this is my husband, Roger…

Christopher Herrmann: Hey Roger.

Man 4 (Roger): Hey.

Woman 2: And our daughter, Charlotte.

Christopher Herrmann: Aw.

Woman 2: Would you mind?

Christopher Herrmann: Naw, no. No problem at all. Come on

Charlotte. I’ll show you around here.

Come on.

How old is she now?

Joe Cruz: One, two, three.

Woman 2: Uh, 12.

Christopher Herrmann: That’s incredible.

Joe Cruz: Tighter, tighter.

Woman 2: Yeah, plus today is her birthday. So here we are. She’s

really something.

Christopher Herrmann: Yeah.

Joe Cruz: Hey, one more. Let’s do one more. Everybody smile…

hold it.

Christopher Herrmann: Hey, do you have a few minutes. Because I

think we can do something a little better

than a couple of photos.

Joe Cruz: Great.

Woman 2: Sure.

Christopher Herrmann: Yeah? All right.

Woman 2: [laughs]

Joe Cruz: Get in there.

Woman 2: Okay.

Christopher Herrmann: Hey, Chief. We got a kid’s birthday party in

the common room, and they’d like to see

you.

Chief Boden: You tell little Danny or Billy or Leo happy birthday for

me, but I have a mountain of paperwork that I need

to get through.

Christopher Herrmann: This one’s important, Chief.

Chief Boden: Okay, where are the other kids?

Christopher Herrmann: Well, it’s not that kind of party, Chief.

Joe Cruz: Later I’ll grab all the guys from the truck, take a picture

together.

Chief Boden: Hey.

Girl (Charlotte): Are you Chief Boden?

Chief Boden: Yes I am. And are you the birthday girl?

Girl (Charlotte): Yeah.

Chief Boden: And um, what’s your name?

Girl (Charlotte): Charlotte.

Chief Boden: Charlotte. And how old are you, Charlotte?

Girl (Charlotte): 12.

Chief Boden: Well, Charlotte, happy birthday [chuckles]

Girl (Charlotte): Do you recognise me?

Chief Boden: Um, I’m… I’m sorry. No, I don’t.

Girl (Charlotte): 12 years ago today, I was left on the doorstep of

this firehouse. He said you were the fireman

who found me.

Chief Boden: I always wondered what happened to you.

Girl (Charlotte): I was adopted. I live in Indiana now.

Chief Boden: Look at you. Don’t you look great?

Woman 2: She’s always wanted the truth.

Girl (Charlotte): When my mom and dad told me where I came

from, I had to come here.

Chief Boden: And I am very glad that you did.

Girl (Charlotte): Thank you.

Chief Boden: No, thank you, Charlotte. ‘Cause you have made this

Chief… a very happy man today.

Christopher Herrmann: Okay. Here we go.

All: Happy birthday to you; Happy birthday to you; Happy birthday

dear Charlotte; Happy birthday to you.

[applause and cheering]

cutscene

Otis Zvonecek: You’ll still pay a $20 bounty on these briefs?

Mouch: If you’re ready to admit they’re yours.

Otis Zvonecek: You wanna know something curious? I looked at

the tag here. Interesting that they’re a Japanese

brand of underwear not sold in the United States.

Japanese. The same language you’ve been

studying.

Mouch: That… that doesn’t…

Otis Zvonecek: Japanese. The same proverbs you’ve been

spouting for weeks, one of which you used to

fleece me out of 20 bones.

Mouch: Fine.

Otis Zvonecek: [chuckles] Thank you… very much.

Mouch: [sighs] Go ahead. Go, tell everyone. Get a good laugh.

Otis Zvonecek: Oh, I will. I will.

Mouch: I’ve been dating a Japanese woman. I’m doing everything I

can to impress her, because quite frankly, I’m not getting

any younger. Now, she mailed me the underwear as a gift.

So that’s a good sign, right?

Otis Zvonecek: Wait, wait. Mailed? From where?

Mouch: Well, we’ve been uh… our relationship is, uh… we haven’t

actually met yet.

Otis Zvonecek: An Internet girlfriend.

Mouch: I’ve talked to her on the phone…

Otis Zvonecek: Hmm.

Mouch: A lot.

Otis Zvonecek: Right, right. How much have you spent on her?

Mouch: Eh, not much.

Yeah a little.

Otis Zvonecek: [chuckles]

Mouch: Please don’t bust my balls on this, Otis.

Otis!

cutscene

Chief Boden: Hey, just the man I was coming to find. I don’t know if

you’ve heard, but miraculously, Tara Little has quit the

fire service and recanted her testimony against you.

Kelly Severide: Did she?

Chief Boden: What’d you do?

Kelly Severide: Well, I-I…

Chief Boden: You know what? I’d rather not know.

Kelly Severide: It was on the up-and-up, Chief. I promise you that.

Chief Boden: Kelly. Throughout all this, never doubted you. I want

you to know that. Just had to be a Chief.

Kelly Severide: I know. I appreciate it.

cutscene

Gabby Dawson: Can we talk?

Peter Mills: Yeah.

Gabby Dawson: Uh, not here.

Peter Mills: Yeah.

Gabby Dawson: Apparently, it happened during a time when your

mom and dad were already separated. Boden

and Ingrid got together, but Boden backed away

as soon as he found out that your dad and mom

might reconcile. And I didn’t know what to do

with the information. And I didn’t think that it

was my place to tell you, so I just sat on it. But

the more I thought about how close you were

getting, the more I thought that maybe I should-I

should just tell you, so…

Peter Mills: Boden and my mom? [sighs]

And you knew about this how long?

Gabby Dawson: Since the big banquet.

Peter Mills: [sighs]

Gabby Dawson: Look, I know I should’ve told you sooner. I know it.

But you have to see it from my point of view.

Peter Mills: Oh, do I? Is that what I need to do, Dawson?

Gabby Dawson: Peter, I’m sorry. If I’d have known you’d have this

kind of reaction, I would’ve just come right home

and told you then.

Peter Mills: But you didn’t, okay?

Gabby Dawson: I didn’t know.

Peter Mills: Yeah. I need to be alone.

[station alarm buzzes & blares]

(Over PA): Truck 81, Squad 3, Engine 51, Ambulance 61. Building

fire, 3331 West Halsted Road.

Matt Casey: That’s Hallie’s clinic.

[horn honking]

[sirens wailing]

Matt Casey: Oh God.

[indistinct radio chatter]

Kelly Severide: Let’s go! Why aren’t those hydrants open yet?

Christopher Herrmann: We’re gonna need this vented. Get that

aerial to the roof.

Police Officer (Nicole Sermons): My partner, Barnes, he went in

further. He found a woman, but he

couldn’t get to her.

Matt Casey: Hey. Back door is there.

Kelly Severide: Fan out! Look for victims. I’ll stick with Casey.

[coughing]

Police Officer (Jim Barnes): [coughs] I couldn’t reach her!

Matt Casey: Where?

Police Officer (Jim Barnes): [coughs]

Matt Casey: Get him out of here!

Police Officer (Jim Barnes): [coughing]

[siren wailing]

Police Officer (Jim Barnes): [groans]

[ambulance beeping]

[car door shuts]

Kelly Severide: Fire department! Call out!

Matt Casey: Hallie!

[metal cage shaking]

Matt Casey: Hallie!

Chief Boden: (into radio) This is an oven. Everyone out!

[metal clanging]

Mouch: Hallie’s in there.

Police Officer (Jim Barnes): Who?

Leslie Shay: His girl.

Matt Casey: Hallie!

Chief Boden: (into radio) Casey, where are you?

Matt Casey: No! No! No!

[whimpers & groans]

[wood creaking & splitting]

[explosion]

Chief Boden: (into radio) Casey, where the hell are you?

(into radio) Casey. Casey!

[explosion continues]

Chief Boden: (into radio) Talk to me. Where the hell are you?

Kelly Severide: We got her! We’re coming out!

Chief Boden: [sighs]

Gabby Dawson: Get oxygen on her and into the ambulance now.

Police Officer (Jim Barnes): We’ll lead the way.

Matt Casey: I’m coming.

[ambo door shuts]

[sirens wail]

Matt Casey: [heavy breathing] Breathe, Hallie. Breathe.

Damn it, baby. Breathe.

Come on! Breathe.

Breathe. Damn it, girl.

Breathe.

[ambo door shuts]

[sombre music]

Matt Casey: [sniffles]

[sobbing]

No!

No! [sobs & wails]

- end -

Definitions:

D&D = Drunk and Disorderly

K-12 = Fire/Rescue saw. It can be used for forcible entry, ventilation, USAR (Urban Search and Rescue – technical rescue operation that involves the location, extrication, and initial medical stabilisation of victims trapped in an urban area, namely structural collapse due to natural disasters, mines and collapsed trenches), RIC (Rapid Intervention Crew - team of two or more firefighters dedicated solely to the search and rescue of other firefighters in distress), and vehicle extrication

Sawzall = Term often used to describe any brand of reciprocating saw. These saws cut in a back and forth motion, similar to a handsaw that’s just downed four espressos

EMS Plan 2 = 5 Ambulances, 1 Paramedic Field Chief, 1 Deputy District Chief, 1 Command Van, 1 Triage Van, Media Affairs Unit

SVT = Supraventricular tachycardia (SVT) is a condition where your heart suddenly beats much faster than normal

Cardioverting = An electrical cardioversion is a treatment which aims to get your abnormal heart rhythm (arrhythmia) back to a normal pattern. It’s done by sending controlled electric signals to your heart through electrodes placed on the chest

Adenosine = Used to bring your heart back into a normal rhythm

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impala1967dwinchester · 3 years

Text

Jensen Ackles: Oops (Request)

Pairing: Jensen x actress!Reader

Pov: Jensen

Summary: Y/n is an actress on SPN and Jensen and Y/n are dating, while she was doing a stunt she get serverly injured.

Warnings: Fluff, angst, mini fight between Y/n and Jensen, Jensen have Jealousy

Word Count: 1.4k

Masterlist

Taglist: @akshi8278 @deanswaywardgirl

Y/n had been casted on Supernatural. It was okay she was an amazing actress; I was just hoping that it wouldn't affect our relationship. It’s not like anyone else knew about our relationship, we had tried our hardest to keep it pretty low-key.

We hadn’t made it official by any means, which meant I really didn’t have any right to get mad and be protective over Y/n. When Y/n and Jared were casted to be each other love interest. Y/n gave me that look that meant ‘it’s okay, we’ll get through it’ she’d been giving me that look for the past days.

It was hard seeing Jared and Y/n sit close together and go over lines. His arm slinging over her shoulder. I had distanced myself, taking in my trailer. Going over lines by myself. I heard a knock at my door, assuming it was my PA, but in came Y/n. Dressed in a pair of tight jeans, a pair of boots on, and a flannel on.

“Jay, are you okay?” She asked before coming over and sitting down with me. I stayed looking at the dialogue realizing that I really wasn’t taking in any of the words. “Jay?” She said again. This time grabbing my hand instead, “Jay? I asked you a question.” She spoke.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I... I just got. I was just in my head for a minute.” I said wishing that she’d take that for an answer. “Look I know that’s bullshit. You’ve been ignoring me, and Jared since you found out that I was going to be his love interest.” She spoke.

Something that Y/n could always, catch me in my bed of sort of lies. Catch me when I wasn’t being upfront with her. “Y/n, I don’t know what to tell you okay. I’m fine. Nothing is wrong. I just giving you some space to get to know Jared. Everything is fine okay Y/n.” I said getting up and opening my trailer door.

“Jensen?!” She spoke. We looked at each other, and then Y/n got up and walked in front of me, and finally out of the trailer. I stayed away still, not trying to convince Y/n of anything. Letting her assume rather than just tell how I was feeling.

This lasted for I'd say at least 3 days. She’d call and leave a voicemail. Text me. Everything I’d ignore. By the start of the new week, now starting to do the scenes. I had to let it all go, there were scenes with Jared I had to do. Our conversation short, and mostly everything was done in one or two shots.

The next scene was supposed to be a difficult one for Y/n. This was her first stunt. It was like watching your child take their steps. As she talked to the director, I did stay close. The worry of her getting hurt was overpowering, I could for a few minutes ignore the way that the jealousy of Jared and Y/n being together in the show.

Before starting Y/n wanted to talk to me. She grabbed my crossed arms and brought me to my trailer. She brought me to the tiny kitchen table. She sat down in front of me, “Jay. I know you are still upset. And no I’m trying to fight with you before I go do a stunt. I just want you to know that I care about your opinion. So I plan on talking to the writers and see if I can be casted as your love interest instead.” Y/n said before standing back up and giving me a short cheek kiss.

She walked out and back to the “bunker”. I followed, not hot on tail. But there just in case. You ever have a gut feeling that something bad is going to happen. That’s all I could get from the minute I walked onto the set.

I watched Y/n climb up the stairs and right to the railing of the balcony. The director called for the scene to beginning. Y/n jumped over the rail and landed the right way, but the director didn’t really like how she had landed on her feet. I could feel my brow come down a little on my face.

‘She did perfectly fine. Actually, that was amazing, see her fall down. In my head she fell so gracefully, and in slow motion.’ I thought to myself. Y/n made it back up the stairs and to the railing, this time when the director called for the scene to start, I again saw Y/n fall in slow motion.

But this was different as she fell, she moved her body, when she fell, she missed the couching. Hitting the hard floor, and I could barely see it. But she had bent her ankle.

In a matter of seconds that feeling that I had to go over to see her, comfort her was there. That feeling that something was going to happen was right. It took a minute before any noise was made, I saw the director get up from his chair and then Y/n cried out.

“Jensen, please come here!” I perked up at the sound of my name, and ran over. Y/n had her hand covering over foot. I sat down next to her, shooing a few stray people away. Giving her and I more privacy.

“Y/n? You got to move your hand so I can look at your foot.” I said rubbing a circle into her back. “No Jensen, please don... Don't make me” She said, a few stray tears falling down her face. This was the first time I had seen Y/n cry. It was something I had planned on never seeing, something that was breaking my heart.

“Honey, I have to. I promise I’ll be very careful.” I moved down to her foot. She shook her head and closed her eyes. I started slowly unlacing the boots and slowly pulling the boots off her boots. As I pulled her foot out of the boots, I could see how gnarly it really was.

Y/n ankle bone poking out of her sock. ‘Shit’ I thought to myself. Waving the director over. “Please call 911. I think her foot is broken.” I said before returning my attention back to her. “It’s okay baby. Just breathe. We have to wait for the ambulance to get here. You fell pretty hard on it, I’m thinking that you broke it.” I said unlacing the other foot and sliding that shoe off as well.

We sat together, Y/n head resting on my shoulder. “I’m sorry, Jensen.” She said, I turned my head looking over at her. “Why are you saying sorry?” I asked. “I’m saying sorry. Because I just... I just need to hear you say that it’s okay.” She spoke. Starting to play with the hem of my shirt.

“It’s okay Y/n I promise. It will be okay.” I said as I heard the sirens of the ambulance. Before the EMT’s got to her I asked her “Do you want me to come with you?” She shook her head quickly, and then the EMT’s were there, I slid out and let them figure out what they needed to do with her.

I quickly ran to my trailer grabbing my phone, then to Y/n’s grabbing her bag and her phone. One EMT brought back a gunnery and lifting her up and gently placing her onto the gunnery. I walked out with her, climbing into the ambulance with her.

“Thank you for grabbing my things, Jensen.” She said, “Of course I’d grab your things Y/n” She closed her eyes and smiled. Out of panic and love for her I blurted out “I love you, Y/n” A shocked expression fell over my face as the words I had just said computed into my brain. But before I could get anything out Y/n said “I love you too Jensen.” Grabbing my hand and drawing tiny circles on my knuckles with her thumb.

I bent over and kissed her temple gently. “God, I love you, Y/n. I'm sorry I got so jealousy about you had Jared being together on the show. Just thought I was going to lose my girl.... If I'm allowed to call you that?” I spoke.

Smiling Y/n said “It’s okay. I understand now. You can’t get rid of me that quickly, baby. And of course, I'll be your girl.” She pulled my arm down and kissed me, our lips melting together like we were made for each other.

Completed: 02/25/2021

#Jensen Ackles #jensen fanfic #jensen x reader #jensengirl #feminine #fem reader #fem #jensen x you #jensen x female!reader #supernatural #anon request #anon

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