#but I’m also dealing with the death of my grandma and of my best friend and still trying to get through this semester

[thebangtancloud]

One + One = Four ~ Kim Taehyung

Pairing: Kim Taehyung x Reader (+best friend! Yoongi)

Genre: Fluff, a sprinkle of Angst

Word Count: 4.5k

Warnings: Mentions of y/n being on her period and gaining weight. Mentions of drugs. Use of names like 'Daddy' and slightly suggestive conversations. Yoongi being overly excited and giddy over the whole deal.

Summary: Over a year into your marriage with Taehyung, you finally get the chance to break the good news to him.

A/n: Requested by sweet @taehyungfics || I had begun writing this so many months ago, and I so clearly remember getting ready to post this one night and that was when I found out my grandma was diagnosed with cancer, so I had little to no time to finish up this story. So here it is! Thank you for waiting so patiently for this one!!

This is written as a sequel to One + One = Three and can also be read as a sequel to this little piece.

“Hi bubba,” Yoongi smiled softly at you, welcoming you into his arms with a gentle pat to your head. “How are you?”

“I’m great,” you grinned back at him, patting his arms. “You’ve been working out.”

“You noticing that is making my ego inflate, careful now,” Yoongi joked, ushering you into the house and closing the door.

“As it should. Where’s everyone?”

“All the way in the bedroom. They’ve all piled onto my bed, the A/c’s stopped working in all the other rooms and the weather is too hot.”

“It sure is,” you whispered, more to yourself because Yoongi had disappeared briefly into the kitchen. You slipped your shoes off, placing your bag and keys by the table beside the door. Yoongi had returned by then, offering you a bottle of iced water.

“My lifesaver,” you groaned in pleasure, accepting the bottle from him with a playful salute.

“Might wanna be careful with your words there,” he chuckled. “I have no doubt Taehyung would trample me to death if he hears you call me that.”

“He wouldn’t,” you laughed lightly, shaking your head at Yoongi.

“Whatever you say,” he sang with a smirk, gesturing towards his bedroom. “Let get out of this furnace already.”

~

The moment you entered, Taehyung’s face lit up, jumping off of the bed without a second thought, no doubt sacrificing his precious spot on the mattress which Jungkook soon claimed. The bed was too small to fit seven people and Jungkook had no shame in admitting that his ass had probably flattened a few inches by sitting on the floor for so long.

Taehyung took you under his arm, grinning down at you and holding your hand up to place a gentle kiss over your knuckles.

“Hi, wifey.”

“Hey, hubby,” you giggled, giving his hand a squeeze.

He gazed down at the ring on your left finger, a simple gold band that matched with the one he had on his own finger. It amazed him that of all the possible designs in the world, you had fallen in love with the simplest one, a magnificent shine to the metal that had now made its home over your finger. Taehyung let his thumb trace the ring, a fond smile tugging at the corners of his lips until he was smiling widely, his eyes squinting at the action.

“It’s been a year, yet I can’t believe we’re married.”

“It’s a new journey,” you chuckled lightly. “We’ve known each other for so long that our marriage seems like a door that we simply walked through.”

“Are you guys going to keep standing there?”

Your head snapped over to the corner of the room where Hoseok was seated – on the floor – propped up against the window with his phone in his hand.

“Hi, Hobi,” you chuckled, waving at him.

“Hey, darling.”

“We’re here, too,” Jimin pouted, pointing at the four men who had somehow placed themselves over the bed, fitting into each other like puzzle blocks.

“Hi guys,” you laughed, waving at each one of them.

“Hiiii,” they all greeted you in sync, which brought a big smile to your face.

“You’re glowing, (Y/n),” Namjoon observed, pointing towards your skin. Taehyung took another look at your face after Namjoon spoke, gently turning you to face him.

“You are,” he confirmed with a soft smile. “New skin care products?”

“It’s love,” you giggled, pinching him in the ribs. From somewhere, you heard someone gag at the way you were flirting with Taehyung, but you didn’t mind.

“We’ll have to get a chair or something,” Yoongi muttered distractedly, pointing around the room. “There’s no place for (Y/n) to sit.”

“So much for gender equality,” Hoseok snorted, glaring at Yoongi. “You’re willing to bring a chair for (Y/n) but you don’t mind me sitting on the floor?”

“Shut up.”

“(Y/n), you can take my place,” Namjoon was about to get up, but you quickly shook your head.

“No, don’t worry about it, I’ll help Yoongi get a few chairs, there’s four people without a seat.”

“I’m so happy you noticed,” Hoseok sighed into his hands, rolling onto the floor to lie down. “My ass hurts so much.”

“I’ll help you,” Taehyung mumbled, looking into your eyes with concern. “The chairs would be heavy.”

“They aren’t,” Yoongi intervened. “They’re foldable. Very light.”

Your eyebrows raised in Taehyung’s direction.

“They’re light.”

“I can still help,” he offered kindly.

“You could help us by making us a few drinks,” Yoongi suggested. “It’s too hot and you’re good at making drinks.”

“He’s right,” you agreed with Yoongi, shrugging your shoulders in Taehyung’s direction. Taehyung’s eyebrows furrowed together in thought, taking a good twenty seconds before he nodded with two determined claps.

“Okay! Lemonade for everyone today!”

“Do we have whiskey?” Jimin asked.

“No drinks today.”

“We didn’t ask you,” Jungkook smacked Jin’s thigh, which pulled a loud yelp from the eldest.

“Hey!”

“No drinks today,” Yoongi confirmed, nodding in Taehyung’s direction. “It’s too hot to be drinking. Lemonade should be perfect.”

“Okay!”

“I want some ice-cream,” Jungkook whined into the mattress. “Everything is burning.”

“I want some too,” Hoseok piped up.

“Should I go get some?” Namjoon asked. Two heads popped up in an instant, expectant eyes staring back at Namjoon.

“Would you?”

“In this heat?” Yoongi raised an eyebrow.

“Uh,” Namjoon reconsidered. “I take my words back.”

The two boys whined in dismay, big pouts covering their faces.

“You’re no fun!”

You laughed at the way they all interacted, patting Taehyung’s arm and pushing him towards the door.

“Let’s get going.”

~

“What’re you doing?”

You turned to look at Yoongi who was standing by the window, holding a hand above his eyes and squinting at you through the blazing sun.

“Come back in! You’ll get sunburnt!”

“Yoongi, there’s an injured bird here! I can’t leave it out in the heat!”

Yoongi sighed, shaking his head at your concern. He was almost about to tell you to let it be, but one look at the frown on your face made him give up, slipping his feet into his sandals and rushing down the stairs to come help you.

“The leg is broken,” you whispered dreadfully when Yoongi kneeled beside you. He was a little hesitant to touch the pigeon but you had already gripped it in your hands, gently stroking its head in an attempt to comfort it.

“Poor thing,” he muttered under his breath, feeling the sun drain his energy quickly like it was sucking it up through a straw that was attached to his skull.

“Let’s take it back in.”

“Yeah, we should – ah.”

Yoongi’s eyes widened in panic when you doubled over in discomfort. “What’s wrong?”

You winced, placing the pigeon on the floor briefly to press both of your hands into your stomach.

“It’s… uh,” you trailed off, not knowing how to explain it to Yoongi.

“You’re in pain? Where is it? How bad is it?”

“It’s normal,” you mumbled, avoiding his eye.

“Are you on your period?” He looked worried.

“No,” you shook your head.

“Then?” Yoongi frowned deeply, placing a soft hand over your shoulder. “How is this normal?”

“It’s… normal. The doctor said that it happens sometimes.”

“You’ve been to the doctor? Is it serious?”

Yoongi raised a hand to wipe at the sweat that was dripping down the side of your face, holding a hand out to shield you from the scorching heat.

“Yoongi,” you bit your lip, looking away. “It’s… uhm.”

“I’m not trying to be offensive,” he held a hand up in the air to make sure you knew he was being serious. “But you’ve put on a little weight. I noticed when I hugged you. Is something wrong? I’ve never seen you this way in the eight years that I’ve known you.”

“Oh,” you laughed lightly, nodding at Yoongi. “Yeah, I have gained some weight. Taehyung noticed it too, but he would never say.”

Yoongi simply gave you a look, awaiting an explanation. You looked back down at the bird, settling onto the burning ground and taking it back into your hands.

“(Y/n), if you aren’t feeling well, we should go back in. It’s too hot, you might feel drained.”

“There’s something that I needed to tell you,” you mumbled, stroking the head of the pigeon delicately. “Usually, I have Taehyung to talk to. But this is something that I needed to discuss with someone else first.”

“Are you terminally sick?” Yoongi asked in a dreadful whisper.

“No!” you yelped, eyes wide in horror. “No. I’m not. Thank God for that.”

“Yeah,” he sighed softly, settling onto the ground as well. He placed his feet flat on the floor so that his bare thighs and calves wouldn’t touch the burning concrete.

“You can tell me anything bubba,” Yoongi smiled a little, giving you a nod of reassurance. “You’ve been our friend for the longest time. There’s no doubt we’ve taken you as our little sister.”

“Oh,” you laughed lightly at his words. “That’s…great to know.”

“Exactly. Now what is it that you cannot tell Taehyung before us? Is he drinking a lot?”

“He doesn’t drink much,” you shook your head. “It’s not about him, actually.”

“Oh?” His eyebrows raised. “Are you drinking too much?”

“No, Yoongi,” you chuckled, reaching forward to slap his arm gently. “Let me just tell you before you start guessing everything that’s not happening.”

“Okay.”

“Remember a year ago when we were at the restaurant for our weekly dinners? Taehyung suddenly told me that he wanted to have a baby with me?”

“Are you pregnant?” Yoongi asked you straight away.

“Let me build the suspense for heaven’s sake!” you exclaimed with a loud laugh. “Why are you so quick at everything?”

“So you are pregnant.”

“Maybe I am.”

“Oh my gosh,” he gushed, shooting up right away and pulling you into a hug. “Oh my gosh!”

“You sound like a girl,” you teased him lightly, keeping the pigeon out of the way so that it wouldn’t get crushed between the two of you.

“Congratulations! I’m so happy for you, bubba!”

“Thank you,” you chuckled fondly. “I am too.”

He gave your shoulder a firm squeeze. “How long has it been since you found out?”

“I found out last month, but I’ve been pregnant for almost three months now.”

Yoongi gasped lowly. “You must’ve found it so difficult to keep this to yourself. How do you feel?”

“I feel… great,” you giggled into your palm. “There’s something else you need to know.”

“What is it?”

“I’ll tell you later, though. I feel like Taehyung deserves to know this first. But I need your help to break the news to him.”

“I’ve been born ready.”

~

“Yeah, we’ll go.”

“I’m coming too!”

“Me too! I’ve been craving for some ice-cream.”

“I’m going in for a shower. Too hot.”

“Wait-”

“Should we take hyung’s car?”

“I’m driving.”

“But where-”

“We’ll be back in an hour, tops.”

“Two. I’m going to get some dinner on the way back.”

“I’ll join.”

“But why are-”

“We should get going! Bye Taehyung. Bye (Y/n)!”

“We’ll see you in a bit.”

“Wait!”

“Where are the keys?”

“In your hand, you blind bat.”

With a loud commotion, five of the members scrambled their way past the front door, the clicking sound of it closing preceding a tense silence. Yoongi had already slipped into his bedroom quietly with an excuse to have a shower, hiding away his smirk behind the glass of iced water that he was sipping from.

The plan was going well.

Taehyung looked baffled. He stood beside you with his mouth hanging open, too confused as to how the boys who were sitting on the floor playing the sixth round of UNO suddenly decided that they couldn’t stay in the house for more than a hot minute.

Taehyung turned to look at you with his eyebrows pinched together.

“What just happened?”

“I have no idea,” you lied easily with a simply laugh. Taehyung didn’t think much of it, shaking his head and taking your hand to walk back to the couch.

“Whatever, I shouldn’t be surprised. I’m a part of a band filled with a bunch of lunatics.”

“Don’t be mean,” you giggled, pinching his ribs. He jerked away from you in surprise, giving you a look.

“I’m being mean now?”

“Sorry,” you chuckled, pulling him back towards you. For the first time ever since the boys left, he took a proper look at your face, carefully analyzing your expression.

“I suppose you’re not a part of whatever drugs they’ve been on, right?”

You guffawed at his words, throwing your head back and cackling loudly. “I don’t do drugs, and neither do they, silly.”

“…okay.”

“You don’t believe me? I don’t even know the names of half of the drugs out there, bro.”

“Bro,” Taehyung snorted, looking up at the ceiling to hold in an imaginary nosebleed. “All these years and I’ve become your bro.”

“It’s a habit,” you chuckled lightly. “Sorry… bro.”

“Oh, how the times have changed,” he sniffled dramatically. “I’ve been called ‘brother’ by my beloved wife. How tasty does that sound?”

“And the Oscar goes to…” you patted your thighs, mimicking a drumroll. “Kim Taehyung!”

“I mean,” he suddenly smirked. “We have been playing around with names in our relationship, haven’t we?”

“I know what you mean, naughty,” you covered your mouth in mock shame. “You seemed to have liked a certain nickname quite a bit.”

“Oh, I really did,” he bit his lip, closing his eyes and shaking his head at the memory. “Daddy. Ooh la la!”

“Have you gotten used to it?”

“Not really,” he admitted with a shy laugh. “It catches me off-guard every time you call me that.”

“You might have to get used to it,” you hinted with a light blush.

Taehyung’s eyebrows shot into his hairline.

“I see…” he trailed off skeptically. “Is that why the boys suddenly left? You wanted to have some fun?”

“Maybe I did,” you giggled like a little girl.

“And you call me naughty,” he teased you with a heavy smirk. “We would’ve been home in a few hours anyway. But then again,” he rolled his eyes. “I know how irresistible I can be at times.”

“Right,” you scoffed.

“Do you disagree?”

“Certainly not.”

“So you agree that I’m irresistible?”

You nodded.

“Irresistible enough to send the boys away? To have some fun?”

You nodded again.

“Yoongi hyung is literally in his room.”

“He knows, too.”

Taehyung gasped. “Ooooh.”

“Yeah.”

“But for today, I refuse to have you call me daddy. It’s weird. I’m in my hyung’s house. If he ever hears that, he’s never going to let me live it down.”

“If he ever hears anything, he wouldn’t let either of us live it down.”

“And you say ‘he knows’,” Taehyung scoffed. “What’s the point in doing the jig at his place then?”

“I couldn’t wait.” You casually shrugged.

Taehyung smirked, narrowing his eyes at you.

“Aww,” he cooed, taking your hand into his own. “Haven’t I hit the jackpot with you?”

“You certainly have,” you chuckled, finally deciding that it was time. Enough of jokes. Taehyung needed to know.

“But you’re going to have to get used to getting called ‘daddy’.”

He cocked an eyebrow at you. “That came out of nowhere. You’re usually so shy whenever you call me that.”

“I am,” you nodded with a smile. “But you’re going to get called that quite often now.”

His lips rolled into a tight line, holding back his grin.

“Not just by me.”

Taehyung blinked once, then again, before attempting to gag at your words.

“Ma’am,” he held a hand up. “Please. I don’t need anyone else to call me that. It’s kinda personal, y’know?”

“It is. But you don’t have an option.”

“Only you get to call me that,” he shook his head adamantly.

“There are others who will call you that, too.”

“No, thank you.”

“What did you call your father when you were a kid?”

He looked confused. “’Dad’?”

“What do you want our kids to call you?”

“’Dad’ should be okay,” he laughed uneasily.

“What if they call you ‘daddy’?”

“Um,” he looked away and chuckled. “I wouldn’t mind.”

“That’s great then. It’s all set.”

“But that’s when we have kids,” Taehyung pointed out with a fond smile. “Until then, only you get to call me daddy.”

“And when we have kids? Should I stop calling you that?”

“(Y/n), what are you on about?” Taehyung looked genuinely confused.

You simply laughed at his expression, reaching into your bag and taking out a little box. Placing it in the palm of his hand, you urged him to open it.

Taehyung gazed at the rectangular box in his palm, touching the dainty purple ribbon with his fingers before tugging at it. He placed the ribbon carefully over his thigh, finally opening the box. You kept a keen eye on every little reaction that played over his face, a little gasp of surprise tumbling past his pink lips that had a light layer of lip balm over it.

Taehyung stared at the box for a good minute, simply letting his eyes soak in everything that suddenly seemed so surreal. When he looked up was when you noticed the tears that clouded his vision.

“Is this… real?” He whispered, painfully low. When a tear slipped past his lower eyelid, he quickly wiped it away so that it wouldn’t destroy the gift that you had prepared for him.

“Very much,” you confirmed in a soft whisper. He seemed to break even further, placing the box beside him and covering his eyes with both of his hands.

“No way.”

“It’s finally happening, baby,” you murmured gently, shifting closer to him and slipping a hand around his shoulder. He immediately molded into your touch, continuing to cry into his hands and leaning into your chest.

“Is this really real?”

At that moment, it was hard for you to control your own tears. You placed a warm hand against the side of his face, tenderly brushing away the brown locks that were stuck to his temples.

“It is. We’re going to be parents.”

Taehyung broke into another tiny sob that was partially mixed with a laugh of belief. Sniffling slightly, he shuffled out of your grip to fall onto his knees in front of you, holding both of your hands up against his lips.

“I love you so much.”

You nodded with a watery smile. “I love you more.”

“We’ve finally made it.”

You looked down at your lap, running your thumbs all over his knuckles.

“I…” you started, swiping your tongue over your lip briefly. “I’m sorry you had to wait so long.”

“What are you talking about?” He mumbled under his breath, gently wiping away your tears and letting his hand rest over your cheek. “You don’t need to be sorry for anything.”

“It’s just that… we’ve gone through so much to have a baby. And now that it’s finally happening, I can’t actually process it.”

“I know, my love,” Taehyung whispered against your hands, kissing them as gently as he could. “And I’m so proud of you for never giving up.”

“The look on your face every time a test would turn out negative absolutely killed me,” you admitted sorrowfully. “I kept thinking that I was failing you in some way.”

“Never,” he firmly stated. “You never once did, and you never will. Especially when it comes to something as big as this. Yes, we did want kids and we tried so much for it, but it happened only when it was supposed to. We’ve been blessed with a baby at the right time. I strongly believe so.”

Taehyung picked up the little box that you had prepared for him, taking out both the pregnancy tests and smiling softly.

“I remember this one,” he ran his fingers over the digital pregnancy test on the left. “That was the time we decided we wouldn’t consciously try for a baby again – that we would just let it happen when it needed to. I was so worried because we’d literally have you take so many tests each month and every time it came back negative, I’d see another part of you slowly disappear. It made me feel so… helpless.”

Taehyung sat back onto his kneels, looking up at you. “I remember feeling like I was failing you, as your husband.”

“You were my strength,” you murmured, touching his cheek ever so softly. “This test was the last one I had taken in almost six months now. It was so tempting to just take one each time my period was even a day late, but you kept me going. You took my mind off of the pain and you made me feel… happy again.”

“I’m thrilled to know that I did,” Taehyung whispered.

“And we’ve come a long way. We’ve finally made it. You’re going to be a father.”

Taehyung gazed into your eyes, his heart leaping at the depth of your words. It was finally happening. He was going to be a father.

“Our kids are going to run around calling you daddy,” you chuckled lightly, wiping away the remainder of your tears.

“Kids?”

Taehyung jerked in surprise at the sound of his hyung from behind him, two pairs of eyes trained on Yoongi who was only looking at you with a frown.

“Did you say kids?”

Taehyung’s gaze landed on you after a moment of thought.

“What?”

“Not just a kid, but kids? Is that what you wanted to tell me before?”

“Yoongi hyung knows?” Taehyung couldn’t hold back the low gasp. “(Y/n)?”

“Uh…” you chuckled nervously, looking into Yoongi’s eyes with a desperate shake of your head.

“You came in at the wrong time, Yoongi. I didn’t tell Taehyung yet.”

“Tell me what?”

Yoongi already seemed to get the idea, a fond grin growing on his face as he laughing sheepishly and turned to face the wall behind him.

“I’m giving you ten seconds, tell him now or else I’ll be the first to hug you - even before the father can.”

“What?”

Taehyung had a mix of fear and excitement in his expression, curious eyes snapping back and forth between you and his hyung, the words that the two of you were speaking appearing like question marks floating around his head.

“What do you have to tell me?”

“Ten!”

“Yoongi!” You squealed, trying to get him to stop because you yourself didn’t know how to word it out to Taehyung yet.

“Nine!”

Taehyung caught your arm in urgency. “(Y/n) what the hell is going on?”

“Eight!”

“Oh my goodness,” you held a hand up to your forehead, nervous eyes locking with Taehyung who appeared to be as clueless as ever.

“Seven!”

By then, Yoongi was slowly taking steps towards the couch, still facing the wall and holding a hand up to show you just how little time you have left.

“Six!”

“Yoongi!”

“(Y/n) just tell me already!”

“But-”

“Five!”

“I’m carrying twins!”

A beat of silence.

Then another.

Yoongi stayed frozen in his spot, hand held up mid-air, back facing you.

Taehyung on the other hand, couldn’t breathe.

He fell from the couch, standing up quickly onto to get back down onto his knees and hold a hand over his head.

“WHAT?!”

“(Y/n)!” And true to his word, before you knew it, Yoongi was pulling you up off of the couch, securing you in a tight embrace with excited giggles buzzing through his chest.

“I knew it!”

“Wha-”

“Taehyung!”

Yoongi didn’t bother about the young man who didn’t know whether he was gasping for air or trying not to cough at the same time, his arms not letting you go help your husband breathe and calm down.

“We’re going to have two little babies in this house soon! Oh- (Y/n), you have to give me one. You both raise one and give me another. I’ll take care of – hell I can take care of both of them. Just let me have them.”

“Yoongi,” you wheezed at his words, clutching the edge of his t-shirt as you cackled into his shoulder.

“What do you mean, ‘let you have them’?”

“(Y/n)-”

Taehyung was slowing trying to make his way into a standing position, taking the full support of the couch beside him and pushing himself up with trembling arms.

“Hyung-”

“I mean exactly that,” Yoongi patted your back thrice. “You both can go out and have your lovey-dovey dates, leave your kids with me. I’ll take good care of them. I’ll feed them on –”

“Hyung!”

“-time, I’ll have their diapers changed and give them really warm and lovely baths, with those floaty ducks –”

“Yoongi,” you chuckled at the desperation in Taehyung’s voice which Yoongi didn’t seem to bother about. By then, Taehyung was barely a step away from the two of you, a trembling hand gripping Yoongi’s elbow and pulling it away from you.

“Let me hold my wife.”

“Not right now,” Yoongi decided, brushing Taehyung’s hand off and turning his back to him so as to shield you away from Taehyung. “I’m talking to her.”

“I’m going to have twins, for heaven’s sake! Let me hold my wife! Let me at least cry in peace!”

“No –”

You gently tapped Yoongi’s lower back with a laugh. “I’ll get back to you bubba, let me handle my husband for now.”

Yoongi only smirked in response, quickly dipping his head to brush a kiss against your temple before releasing you.

“Jagiya,” Taehyung spoke into you the air, not letting you have a moment of freedom and immediately attaching himself to you after Yoongi let you go.

“You’re really – we’re really having twins? Two little ones?”

“We are,” you gently ran your hand over the expanse of his back. “We are, Taehyung.”

“No way,” he marveled, a mixture of giggles and sobs being let out into the curve of your neck. “How is this possible?”

“It just is,” you laughed in delight. “I can’t believe I have two babies inside me. How crazy is that?”

“Oh God!” Taehyung cried out, pulling away and holding you by your shoulders to gently shake you. “What?! How is this real?”

“It is,” you gushed in excitement. “Here, see.”

Taking his hand in yours, you placed his large palm over the already noticeable bump that was hidden behind your shirt, watching in fascination as Taehyung’s jaw dropped at the curve.

“Me too!” Yoongi pushed himself into the little space between you and the couch, covering the rest of your bump with his own palm. “Oh my god.”

“Crazy, yeah?”

“I still can’t believe it,” Taehyung admitted in a low murmur, eyes still trained on his hand resting over the safe haven that held his little ones.

“I cannot even predict how the boys would react,” Yoongi sighed. “Jimin will cry. For sure. Hoba would be screaming.”

“Namjoon would probably be the sane one,” you guessed with a little laugh.

“Plot twist,” Taehyung sniffled, “he might be the one to cry.”

“Maybe Jin hyung too,” Yoongi cackled with a slap to his knee. “Hyung would start planning the meals he’d pack for the kid’s tiffin boxes to school, I’m sure of that.”

“This is so exciting!” Taehyung squealed in delight, briefly pushing Yoongi’s hand away and bending down to pick you up into his arms, twirling you around with endless giggles and gasps tumbling past his lips.

“We’re going to have two babies!”

"Yes, and I get to keep one!" Yoongi piped in.

"NO!"

"YES!"

"Hyung, no!"

"Shut up. One will be for me. That's final. Now get lost and let me congratulate my little sister properly."

"Hyung!"

.

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[misterbitches]

may i help you does grief so well and accurately but it hurts so bad i just burst out into tears because i miss my uncle so much and describing those feelings in ep 9 were so accurate. and the show lets people know how fucked up of a process grief is, how genuinely traumatic it can be and the guilt and fucking blame. especially if it’s sudden, when you made plans with this person but they’re just gone. and they’re never coming back again. you know the people involved in production have lost someone or are aware, on a personal level, of how possible it is and will be. because, and this sucks, it’s a natural part of life.  

all you want to do is see them again and you can’t and maybe you squandered your time with them on earth. relationships are so hard and there’s ebbs and flows and perfection is never near enough; if it’s good? it fucking hurts, but if  you were angry with them, or something shifted in your relationship, maybe a childhood friend it fucking hurts. but even when expected, with cancer (which can also come on suddenly), or fucking covid—that watching someone die is traumatizing, too.

at 21-25, when my grandfather and grandmother died, i didn’t consider myself an adult like i am now. they were old and sick and now, looking back, i dealt with my grandpa’s death hard but i didn’t think about it. my grandma wasn’t as hard, but it’s still hard thinking about why it wasn’t as hard for me and it probably was hard i just don’t know it (again) because they were such a big part of my life. but as a full-fledged adult nothing compares to the pain of losing my uncle. the awareness i have and those feelings are some of the worst feelings i have ever felt and i’ve been through some shit. 

so i cannot IMAGINE a child going through this. my mom lost her dad at 15, my cousins lost their father at 12 and 15. and the circumstances of someone’s death is also important. and honestly? you won’t know until you go through it just like you won’t know what it’s like to deal with cancer until you are dealing with it and that’s an experience that can’t be named or iterated clearly. 

i wish i knew for sure that god existed so at least i can know that the people we’ve lost are in true peace. death is eternal, final, but you’re still everywhere. also the fact that telling a boy he’s allowed to grieve and cry, ostensibly forever because, you know, his fucking dad is dead and losing a parent as a kid or adolescent is horrendous, is great since masculinity and patriarchy tell them they can’t. on top of the world thinking that grief is linear, that mourning you get over, instead of dealing with for the rest of your life.  which is crazy and why humanity is beautiful because we are all going to encounter death but we choose to love and live anyway even if it’s coming, even if we lose people. so it hurts like hell but we can keep going for them but mostly for ourselves because the people that loved you and left wouldn’t want you to not move forward. put your best foot forward. man i was trying to relax before working and answering my messages but i’m just sobbing!!!!!!!!!!

#a thot #hope you're happy up there #may i help you #one hundred won butler

[p1x1e-sims]

  They were calling it Black Tuesday. Sam thought it was a fitting name. He and his company were stupid, they had held onto their stocks too long and lost everything in the process. The market had crashed and there was no saving it. Dark days were most definitely ahead. 

  Too disheartened to go home and face his wife, Sam sat outside the bank with Benjamin, who had also lost a good deal of money. But Ben was far more of an optimist than his friend. 

  “My family has a good bit of land in Hanford-on-Bagley. Might go up there and wait everything out in the countryside, if there's really no saving the market, like you said.” He dragged on a cigarette. “You and your folks are welcome to come if you like.”

  Sam laughed humorlessly. “I don’t think there's any waiting out a recession like this one.” 

  Ben shrugged. “Nothing left here, though. We’ll both be out of a job by the end of the year, and you know it.”

  “Yeah...” Sam stood up. “I should get going, I need to tell Gwen.”

  “All right, kiss the girls for me.” Ben clapped him on the shoulder. “And think about it.”

  But Sam didn’t get a chance to deliver the news. Gwendoline was stood by the stairs when he walked in, with an expression grimmer than his boss had that morning when prices started to tank. 

  It looked like she had been crying. 

  “Oh, Sam, I’m so sorry.” 

  Mabel Townsend was buried next to her husband, ten years behind him. She was almost sixty, and had become frail in her later years. Especially once Ruth had been sent away. But Ida said her mother had been happy in her last days, especially after seeing the birth of her great-granddaughters. It was just her time to go. 

  That didn’t mean it had hurt any less for Mabel’s children, however. Ida sobbed like she was a little girl again, sitting at her mother’s headstone and willing her to come back. Paul kept his composure as best he could, for he was the official head of the family now, but he couldn’t help himself. His sweet mother had finally left him. 

  The grandchildren were in a deep state of mourning as well. Mabel had been the thing that tied them all together. Their grandma had always been in their lives, and now she was just...gone. She had boxed Teddy’s ears when he would misbehave, and always listened to Irene’s countless hours of piano. She sewed Eleanor’s dresses with one hand and yanked William’s ear with the other.

  Sam stood apart from his cousins and siblings, hardly able to speak. Mabel had been so healthy and lively a few months ago, she even delivered the twins! Her death shocked him as much as the stock market crash had. 

  He looked back on his memories with his grandmother, his memories of childhood. Life was peaceful and unhurried. He had grown up after the war, when things were supposed to be easier. Life wasn’t supposed to crash down again. 

  Sam came to the understanding that his childhood passed with his grandmother.

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#sims #sims 4 #ts4 #sims edit #ts4 edit #simblr #simblog #sims challenge #decades challenge #sims historical #historical sims #sims legacy #townsend legacy #1920s #damn rip my founding lady #has it really been four gens already #sheesh #also yes that is pockets lets just pretend like sam has had him this whole time #realistically the cat is like twenty years old and should be dead by now but shhh #I want the babies to grow up with him #also last post of the 20s!!! #things are ab to switch up #eyeball emoji

[penguicorns-are-cool]

“That was the thing about death. Only the specifics of it hurt.” - The Vanishing Half by Brit Bennet

So I’m about to trauma dump so TW: mentions of suicide

also you should definitely read the Vanishing Half it’s so good. 

I always feel like I think about death wrong because kind of like the quote says, I’m sort of numb to it. For me, the thought of someone dying isn’t a big deal to me. I have a fair amount of acceptance for death because I see most of my stuff as something that will have an ending point and I usually grieve for it over a long period of time rather than just when the death happens. I know death will come eventually so I’m constantly grieving everything just a little tiny bit all the time. My train of thoughts about events and things generally always reaches the point of, this will end someday so enjoy it now. If I know something will end at a certain point it’s even easier because I am fully prepared for that thing to end and I’m pretty good at accepting that with minimal stress.

So when my dog died after a few years of declining health and a few months of even more rapidly declining health, I wasn’t that sad. And I feel bad admitting that but it’s true. I knew she was dying and I was prepared. Mainly the stress I felt was from seeing everyone around me grieve, especially my brother who grieves intensely for everything, and seeing my parents expect me to do the same. It felt awkward to be around everyone else who needed comfort because I suck at giving comfort. When I’m stressed or need a cry I prefer to do it alone so I have a hard time knowing what to do for others who need someone. It all feels fake and awkward to me and I always feel like I’m dealing with death wrong.

When my Grandma’s boyfriend, who was basically our grandpa, died, I wasn’t surprised and I wasn’t all that sad. He’d been in hospice for I think a little over a month by then and had rapidly declining health for about a year by then. I was well-prepared for him to die. The worst part for me was that I was in my Grandma’s tiny apartment at the time since we were having a passover seder there and I was watching everyone around me grieve him. The best I could do was send my Grandma this one Jenny Jinya comic which fortunately is very very comforting to her. and everyone else was crying or at least looking sad and I wasn’t even really sad and it felt wrong and it all felt really fake.

But yesterday I got news that this kid from my middle school committed suicide and for some reason it’s hitting me really hard. I didn’t know her that well, but she was really nice. She was a year above me and when I was in 7th we had lockers near each other, so every morning when I got to school early I would sit by my locker and read and most days she would be a few lockers down reading also. Sometimes we had conversations. Her name is also very similar to mine, just a one letter difference, and her name is my hebrew name so I’d always pay attention when her name was called. And I remember thinking that she seemed kind of lonely in the mornings and that I should go and initiate a conversation or sit closer or something but then 7th grade ended and it was too late. Last time I saw her was because my friends were in a play with her. It’s a jewish private school so they have an all women musical for an all women audience to get around a few orthodox rules and they always make a parody or something like that. last year was Dear Eden Hurwitz (Dear Evan Hansen) which is kind of ironic ig. Idk, I didn’t expect for it to hit me this hard but I’ve had just a background sense of sadness all day and have felt like crying, I watched the entire little pickletown playlist cause that’s my comfort series and had a good cry and even wrote in my diary which usually works but its not working and this all feels so strange to me. Whats scariest is that I can’t pinpoint exactly why I feel like this. usually when I’m sad I can pick a specific reason but this time i can’t cause this has never been my reaction to death. It scares me cause I can’t even rationalize my emotions this time I’m just sad. and my parents are doing all the things that parents do when they think about teen suicide and over-complimenting me and saying how if I ever have those thoughts to tell them and it all feels fake. I think I may have slept through my mom and brother going to the shiva which is kind of shitty but today has been extra exhausting. Yesterday was my brother’s bar mitzvah so I didn’t go to school and I definitely didn’t plan to go to school after just hearing about one of the nicest kids at my old school killing herself but yeah. I think this all might have something to do with how unexpected it all is so instead of grieving in tiny bits and pieces it’s a giant mess with all the suicide stuff thrown in too. idk this is all so confusing to me. 

[hessofather]

Chapter Two- September 17, 1999

A/N: So this is a story of the day I was born. AKA a national holiday. I’d like to mention that if you’re having trouble following along with any of my sentences, try reading it with a southern twang. It’ll make sense after that.

Picture it, it’s a lovely Friday in 1999. The sun is shining, the internet isn’t as awful yet and the twin towers are untouched. My mother, we’ll call her Becky, and my father, Willy Jr, are just hanging. My father smoking weed and my mother probably sitting 4 feet away because second hand smoke is just a government facade meant to keep us distracted from the REAL issues. Aka, lizard people and the Mexicans. My mother realizes she’s been having way too many of those “Braxton hicks” contractions, which are also a government lie. They are probably sending signals to the baby to make it one of those queers, and that’s what she’s feeling.

“Willy I think it’s time.” My mom informs my father who is currently 3 blunts deep and flying to the moon. “Well shit guess we need to let people know.” Willy says while rolling another blunt and sticking it in his pocket. “One for the road.” They hop in their car and head to the hospital, “It’s too early! This thing wasn’t due for another 3 weeks god damnit! I didn’t even get my baby shower yet!” Already I’m stealing my moms thunder and she’s pissed.

“Where the fuck are we going?!” my mom asks my father as they turn down a country road with the bad train tracks instead of going to the highway with the good train tracks. “I gotta pick up Tom.” My dad says annoyed and like my mom should have definitely anticipated this. “YOU ARE STOPPING TO PICK UP TOM?! IM IN FUCKING LABOR YOU DUMBASS!” If she wasn’t in so much pain she would have throat punched Willy by now. Throat punching being her signature move.

“Well yeah, don’t worry I have a plan. Plus he’s my best friend and needs a ride. Don’t be so selfish.” Again, my dad was lucky she was in pain, because she might have ended his life right then and there. They pull up to Toms house, sit and wait for him to come out. About ten minutes later, Tom comes out with that stupid fucking grin and red eyes. He too, is on the moon. “Hey guys. Thanks for the ride. I packed a couple blunts to celebrate when she’s done pushin the kid out.”

My dad finally gets my mom to the hospital. “You go in I’ll park the car.” My dad says, “Tom you stay with me I have a plan I gotta tell you.” My mom makes her way into the hospital while imagining my fathers slow and painful death she will be ensuing on him later. She finally gets put in a room when Willy and Tom come strolling in, smelling like skunk ass on a hot July afternoon in Texas. “Celebrating a little early don’t you think?” My mom asks gritting her teeth and flaring her nostrils. “You’ll be fine! Might as well celebrate the whole occasion!” My dad says.

My grandma and grandpa arrive. My mom dreading having to deal with her mother when she’s already feeling like dying. Like the secret fucking service Willy and Tom assemble. My grandma hates Tom. Tom laces his arm with hers and walks her out saying, “I need a smoke, come on. Hey have I ever told you the story of my ex wife who tried to kill me? No? Well let me do the honors!” Tom knew what his job was and he intended on making his buddy Willy proud. “I think I’ll follow, I could use a smoke too.” My grandpa grunts out slowly heading in the same direction that Tom and Grandma went.

“Ok you’ll live another day for that.” My mom says to Willy. “I told him to not even take a breath in between sentences.” Willy says proudly. Becky figures maybe it’s not so bad having Tom here if that means he’s going to keep her mother out of the way the whole time.

Becky is moving along really fast in this whole labor process. The doctor isn’t even here yet and the nurses say there’s not enough time to give an epidural. Fuck those nurses. They’ve only been at the hospital for about an hour and a half when on of the nurses informs my mother that she’s fully dilated. They told her she couldn’t push yet because the doctor just arrived and isn’t fully in his scrubs yet. “FUCK YOU IM PUSHING.” My mom yells, “WILLY GET DOWN THERE AND CATCH.” A few pushes later and the doctor runs in yelling “STOP” my mother yelled back “IM PUSHING WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT StEpHeN!!” She really hisses out his name to make sure he knows he has a stupid first name and that she will do as she pleases. One more push and my dad catches me while the doctor swoops in to intercept. It’s a touchdown. The crowd goes wild.

I basically come out doing jazz hands and announcing to the world that I’m here, I’m queer, and I’m going to be a menace to society. Guess those government rays worked. They get me all cleaned up and give me to my mother. She starts to sob and says “Some day you’re going to have to do this too. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry you’re a girl.” She hates that she knows about the world she brought me into and even worse, she hates that she brought a sweet little girl into the world that will most definitely use and destroy her. She wishes I was a boy.

“What’s her name?” A nurse asks trying to fill out some paperwork. “Ah shit, ain’t thought that far.” My mother grunts out looking down at me. She noticed that I kind of reminded her of her childhood best friend who had curly blonde hair and a sweet smile. “Tia” she says smiling. “And a middle name?” The nurse asks. “Damn it I thought I was done. Well we made her in Cheyenne Wyoming last January so let’s go with Cheyenne.” My mother says, think to herself that that’s definitely not going to haunt me for the rest of my life.

My grandparents are finally allowed in the room. To this day my grandpa says I looked up and him and smiled because I knew I had him wrapped around my finger. I believe his story because he is still, to this day, wrapped around my finger and would do anything for me. “I don’t want to hear one more word out of toms fucking mouth.” My grandma bitches at my mom. Tom did his duty. Tom is smiling in the corner of the room with my dad. Both of which have gone from being on the moon to being in a completely different universe. They put those blunts to good use. “Only two hours from start to finish? Jesus Becky what does that say about you? Your cooter must’ve already been pretty loose for her to just slip and slide right out.” My grandma tells my mom. “I think she was just ready to come out and fight.” My mom says, imagining the hell her baby girl is going to give some guy someday.

I’m not sure why exactly, but when I was born I had purple bruising/banding around my eyes that made me look like a raccoon. So for the first few days of my life my grandpa would call me “raccoon kid” totally not understanding why it made people uncomfortable. After he realized he decided to switch my nickname to “lacota” which he claims is native language for “the people” because I am “his people.” I find it to be a sweet gesture until my brothers tell me later in life, that it actually means “buffalo”, to this day I don’t know who’s lying. My brothers also told me they were promised a puppy after their family trip to Cheyenne and got me instead.

Considering the fact that the day I was born was such a white trash rollercoaster, pretty much sealed my fate that the rest of my life would in fact, be a white trash rollercoaster. I haven’t decided if being born was the best thing to ever happen to the world or the worst. Either way, it happened and I’m still doing jazz hands and exclaiming to the world that I’m here, I’m queer, and that the government gay rays worked. This story is much more light hearted than some of the ones to come but I decided it was necessary to hear how I shot out into the world ready to fight.

#white trash #family trauma #this is my life #my birth

[purplesurveys]

1551

Did 2015 just fly by to you? That year was absolute shit, and it felt like a century to pass by. I dealt with a bad breakup, the death of my grandfather, and brutal review classes for college entrance exams as well as the exams themselves.

Do you like platform shoes? Hate them. Would never catch me wearing a pair.

How much black is in your wardrobe? Probably a good 60%. It still takes up most of my closet though in recent years I’ve tried to add splashes of color here and there.

Are you supposed to be doing something else? I technically have work and it would be ideal to deal with them in advance. But I’m also trying to give quiet quitting a chance to give my mind and body a break, so they’ll have to wait. I can’t even stand to glance at my work laptop these days lol.

If you were with your favorite person right now, what would you be doing? Don’t have one.

Did you have a good holiday season? Last year’s was pretty fun! I do remember feeling a little bit restless and anxious because right before our agency went on Christmas break I was informed that I was gonna get promoted and was already given a heads-up about the workload to expect for the new stint. I felt unprepared so there was nagging anxiety at the back of my head, but for the most part I was thrilled to see family again and eat lots of food and get lots of BTS-themed presents lmao.

Anything special planned for today? I’m currently having Hong Kong food delivered (noodles and chicken feet!!!) and I haven’t had either in a while, so I’m so excited to wolf them down lol. Initially I told myself not to spend this weekend...but this week had been extremely difficult for me physically, mentally, emotionally. I barely got anything for myself and barely fed myself in the last six days so I thought this little treat shouldn’t completely be off the table.

Who do you really trust in your life? My best friends.

What do you think about "Justin Bieber"? I’m sure this question means well, but why is his name quoted?? Hahahaha. Anyway, I like him and he has a lot of good songs. I wouldn’t pay for a concert ticket on my own, but I certainly wouldn’t turn down a free one if offered.

Do you wish you could change the past? No, I prefer to focus on the present.

What is your hot drink of choice? No hot beverages for me.

Do you own a gun? Continued from last night because lmao did I pass out early. No, and you’ll never see me owning one.

Do you think people get the wrong idea of you? Sure, sometimes. I don’t always get to hear people’s impressions of me, but even though they get it right for the most part there will be some ideas that are just entirely wrong. I once had someone tell me they thought I had a super active life and that I enjoyed working out, which felt like a compliment but I also found it hilarious because that’s the last thing I’d enjoy doing haha.

Have you ever cracked your cell phone screen? This is the fate of all my phones, to tell you the truth. The past two or three phones I had died slow deaths because I gradually cracked their screens. I’ve been a bit more careful with my current phone but I also wouldn’t be surprised if I end up shattering this to death too.

Have your pants ever fallen down in public? Nah but my bras always do because I don’t have the torso to hold them up.

If you had to delete one year of your life, which year would it be? 2020. More than my breakup, Covid was a big waste of everyone’s time.

What is your favorite article of clothing you own? My high-waisted denim jeans.

How late do you usually stay up till? Around 2 AM. During the weekends I can stay up for later.

What is your favorite Christmas song? Eh, dunno if I have one. I have a soft spot for Jimin’s Christmas Love though, even though it’s not a traditional Christmas song.

What all have you had to eat today? I had a couple of hotdog sandwiches in the morning; we also visited family after church and my grandma made us lechon and cream of mushroom soup + my cousin got chocolate brownies; then I went to Starbucks right after where I tried this new drink they have called the brown sugar cocoa oat milk frappe (what a mouthful too, lol) and a slice of New York cheesecake with chocolate syrup.

If your entire life was a movie, what would it be called? I’m not creative enough to come up with a good title...

How do you feel about "smoking"? Don’t have a strong opinion on it. You do you.

Blue or green? Blue.

What's your current least favorite song? Pink Venom, Blackpink. I don’t even not like it because of the never-ending fandom wars; the song is just genuinely not my vibe.

Do you know how to play chess? Never learned.

What is something the world needs less and more of in your opinion? Less toxicity on social media, more letting people shamelessly enjoy their interests and not getting dragged for whatever they’re into.

Do you know someone who is just so breathtakingly attractive? I’m in the middle of a ridiculous Jeon Jungkook phase right now, so let’s go with him. Insane how that monster of a man is good at everything he does and everything he tries, while also looking as good as he does.

How hard is it for you to open up to others? Nah, I can be an open book.

What is something that has really impacted your life? BTS. They saved my life in the most literal sense. Back in April 2021 my clock was pretty much over and I was dead set on leaving, then for whatever reason they kinda just swooped in at the last possible moment with a video that came up on my FB and its algorithm, which completely turned my life around. The timing was crazy and I’ll always be grateful for them for helping me want to stick around longer.

[chibbycookie]

I have literally one project and a test to finish out this hell semester but I can’t manage to get it done and I’m so upset

#I was about to belittle my struggles in the tags but you know what even if others have harder majors I am valid to be stressed to!!! #not only am I in college during a pandemic and with mental illness #but I’m also dealing with the death of my grandma and of my best friend and still trying to get through this semester #while also doing art on the topic of grief as a sort of vent #which like is awesome but also really hard to get motivated to work on #especially when this week has been really bad mental health wise and I’ve been unable to sleep normally

[mouthfulloftoothpasterry]

Hooked

Summary: Harry and Y/n meet again. This time spending more time together and getting to know each other. 

warnings/ disclaimers: Swearing, mentions of death, mentions of childbirth. 

Harry was out searching for a book. He had left Loralie with his mother for the day since he had some errands to run and it would be a busy day. He had finished all of his books and he was on the search for another, maybe even some extra ones for his classroom. He had stopped by his favorite coffee shop and ordered his favorite black coffee to start his day of errands, then he went to the market to get everything for dinner tonight- he thought he might as well get it out of the way since he hates grocery shopping.

Now he’s on the way to a bookstore, he didn’t want to order it on Amazon or just go to a big chain store so he did a quick google search and found a small book store a block down the road from the coffee shop he had gone to. He wanted to find the book burning in water, drowning in flame- his sister had recommended it to him and now he was itching to read it.

He made his way to the bookstore, it looked like a homey place just from the outside of the store. It was a rust colored brick with two sconces on either side of the top of the book shop, a rather tall building- possibly a flat at the top. Harry looks at the cacti peeking through the windows, little flower stickers to decorate.

Harry walks into the book shop, opening the door making the golden bell at the top of the door frame sound off. As soon as Harry steps in he notes the warm scent, it smells like the owner had been baking cookies. “Hello!” He hears a cheerful voice sing while he steps toward the poetry aisle in search of the book. “Is there anything I could help you with today?” He hears the voice again making him turn his head. To his surprise it’s Y/n, he’s been thinking about her. “Oh, hi.” He says bashfully, smiling and stepping over to the cashier counter she was behind.

Y/n smiles, continuing to add price tags on the back of her new shipment of books. She had started her little business officially a bit after she had gotten pregnant with Milo. Milo’s dad had left her after she broke the news to him, they were in their early twenty’s (Y/n being twenty one and him being twenty two) so it was understandable that he didn’t want children yet but the way he dealt with the situation was just dramatic and too much on Y/n. So she put everything into her little book shop, she took out a loan and bought this place, starting planning and putting her all into it, it wasn’t easy but it was worth it.

“Hi Harry.” She says, adding a book to the stack. Harry blushes at her tone again, she’s hard to read. “Um… do you happen to have burning in water, drowning in flame?” He asks, whirling around her display of different styles and colors of bookmarks. He is a twenty six year old man, why is acting like one of his students who thinks he’s handsome? Y/n laughs, nodding while she pulls her mug up to her lips- Harry thinks it’s hot chocolate (and he’s right). “It’s in poetry, first aisle, third shelf, second row.” She says, impressing Harry in how she has memorized every single spot of her book store.

Harry gives her a tight nod, walking over to the poetry section and looking for the book. “Is this your place?” Harry asks, making conversation while the rest of the store is dead silent.

“Yeah, me and Milo live in the flat upstairs.” Y/n admits. Harry’s ears perk up, she didn’t say anything about a partner. He walks back to the counter placing his book down, not handing it over to her yet. “When did you open this place?” He questions, looking around the shop. He sees some crystals, some candles- that both look up for sale and also her personal ones. It’s cute.

“After I got pregnant with Milo. Right after Xavier left me.” She says, leaving Harry wondering. “Xavier is…?” Y/n sighs, rolling her eyes a bit. It’s only their second time meeting and she’s already giving him her sob story. “He’s what would be Milo's father.” She says, picking at her bare nails. She doesn’t consider Xavier Milo's father, he’s never been there for him so he’s not a father. Harry’s lips form a tight line, “um, Loralies mum died… so… we’ve all got baggage.” He laughs, trying to cut the tension.

Loralies mum had died, she died during childbirth. She already had a particularly painful and rough pregnancy with Lora and that was just extremely unexpected, Harry just thanks his stars everyday that his little one is safe with him. “That’s awful, Harry. I‘m sorry.” Harry smiles at her, “it’s okay. I’ve got my Lora so I’m okay.” Y/n nods, smiling and grabbing the book from between his fingers. “She’s a sweet girl.” She compliments.

Harry nods, feeling a little cocky over how well he has raised his daughter. “Is this all for you?” She asks, pulling out a small brown bag with the logo and name on it- they are cute. “Yes please.” Harry politely says, making her laugh under her breath. “If this is your first time here? You get a free bookmark with every book you purchase if it is.” She says, nodding over to the bookmarks. Harry nods, looking through the bookmarks and picking a random Fleetwood Mac one- cute, he thinks. Y/n adds the bookmark to the bag, setting it infront of him. “13.22” she says, Harry fishing his wallet out.

“Are you doing a lot today?” He asks, motioning down to all the books stacked around her while he hands her a ten and four singles. She shrugs, “the usual.” Y/n says, handing him back his change. Harry thinks for a second, pausing his response making Y/n a little nervous. “I could help?” Harry offers, setting his coffee on the table. Y/n gives him a questionable look, sharpening one of her eyes at him. “You want to put tags on books and reorganize with me?” She asks, making Harry laugh. He nods, putting a bookmark back in its place “see, I’m already helping.” He says cheekily.

Y/n smiles, shaking her head. “I guess you can help.” She says.

Soon enough they are sat on the brown carpet, mountains of books around them. Y/n has a blanket wrapped around her and Harry has his legs stretched out. Y/n is tagging books while Harry is setting by the book shelf closest to them organizing. “I swear they put something in the water fountain at that school, the kids are always running and screaming around my classroom while I’m trying to talk about how Van Gogh cut off his own ear.” Harry says, making Y/n loudly giggle, thinking about how Milo probably gives him a horrible time on Wednesdays.

“You like working where Loralie is?” She asks, Harry of course nodding. Loralie is his baby, he loves knowing she’s just up the stairs- especially if she were to get sick or hurt he would be right there to take care of her. “Yeah, I wish I could always be with Milo but one of us has to make the money.” She jokes which makes Harry laugh.

“She always comes waddling into my classroom screaming for me- which disrupts the class but I don’t care.” He shrugs, his mind going back to Loralie. “Oh shit, I’ve got to pick her u-“

“Hi! How are you, baby!” Y/n cheers, Milo running toward her then crashing into her in a hug. Y/n’s friend Mikaela had babysat Milo for the day while Y/n tried to get as much work done as she could. Usually on the weekends (like today) Milo will be in the store with her… which tends to distract her. “Um, I’ve got to go but we should do this again? Maybe… over dinner?” Harry asks, Y/n’s face lighting up.

“Are you asking me on a date?” She teases, Harry blushing and nodding. Y/n laughs, slipping her phone from her pocket, “take my number and we can schedule that date you’re begging me for.” She teases.

Harry gets her number, thanking her for the book and letting him stay before he slips out. Now he’s got to get back to Loralie. But he’s got a date!

**

Later that night when Harry and Loralie are practicing her memorizing her ABCs his phone beeps. He ignores his at first, just expecting it to be a stupid text from his friend Mitch, but once he looks down he sees Y/n’s contact name. “Keep going, bug.” Harry says, grabbing his phone from the carpet while they set on the floor of the living room, unlocking his phone.

Hii, im free next Friday :) let me know if that works with your schedule!

Harry laughs at her cute little smiley faces, trying to think up a response that doesn’t make him sound a thousand years older than her. The tip of his tongue sticks out while he types back his response, his eyebrows knitted in concentration.

Hello! Friday works, how about 5:30? I can pick you up.

He lays his phone back down and helps Loralie with her letters, pulling her onto his lap. “D is for Daddy!” She cheers, making Harry smile, chuckling and kissing her round cheeks while she squeals. Harry hears his phone ding, grabbing it and reading the response, thanking god she answered. He thought his heart would explode out of his chest. It was beating so hard.

That sounds good ☺️ see you then!

Harry got her to say yes, but now he has to deal with the anxiety of actually going on the date. What should he wear, where should they go? Should he be opening the door and pulling out her chair or is that not in-in dating anymore? He hasn’t dated since Loralies mum and his baby is two years old now, it’s been quite a long time since he dipped his toe into trying to charm a woman. He just hopes he’s still got it.

****************************

The day is here. Loralie is with her grandma so Harry can get ready for the date. He’s been panicking and running all around his little house. He showered and smothered himself in lotion and his best cologne- he wanted to smell nice for her. He was adding leave in conditioner to his hair (which he hardly remembers to do) to make it more silky and the curls look a bit prettier than they usually do- he doesn’t know much about hair, he just does what his sister tells him what his hairdresser tells him he should do.

He planned out an outfit, a pair of tan dress pants with a white tank top and a cardigan over it. He had thought over the outfit a bit too much, was it too casual for the date? Was the cardigan too much? He decided against his thoughts and layers some pearls on, sliding his rings on that were in a jewelry dish, placed in there before his shower. He takes a look in the mirror, readjust his cardigan before he gives himself a little nod. He feels good about this.

He makes his way over to Y/n flat, walking up the metal steps to her flat and knocking on the door. When she opens the door he notices just how amazing her home smells, just like her book shop. He needs to remember to ask her where she gets her candles. “Hi,” Harry smiles, looking his date up and down. She was dressed nicely. It was a sage green dress with spaghetti straps, it stopped a couple inches above her knee. Harry thought it was cute.

She paired it with gold jewelry and a black cross body bag. Dirty white vans to go along with it that added a child-like feel to the outfit. Harry thought that was cute too.

“Hi,” she smiles, glancing behind her. “You look nice.” Harry says, suddenly feeling hot. Y/n laughs under her breath, thanking him. “You look nice as well.” Harry smiles bashfully, looking down at his feet. “Thank you”

Y/n says her goodbyes to Milo, hugging and kissing him before thanking her friend again for watching him. It’s the same one from last week, Mikaela. They get into Harry’s car, a bit of awkward silent before Y/n breaks it, Harry stopping the tapping of his fingers along to the low radio once her voice interrupts it. “So, where are we going?” She asks, smoothing her dress out against her thighs.

Harry laughs, he’s not prepared for dates and for some reason he hadn’t thought about the most important part. “I’ll eat anywhere to be honest.” Y/n admits, looking through her window at all the different places.

Harry was looking around in a panic and he finally pulled something out of his ass that sounded good, especially on his teacher salary. “Olive Garden?” Harry says, trying to say it confidently but it definitely comes out as more of a question. Y/n’s eyes light up, she’s in the mood for bottomless salad and breadsticks. “That sounds heavenly.” And Harry is happy to hear that.

They walk into the busy restaurant, instantly getting escorted to a table. Harry is happy they didn’t have to wait- that would have just been embarrassing since he threw this together last minute. They sat in the booth, sliding in and getting comfortable. “So, how’s the bookstore?” Harry asks, pulling apart his breadstick. Y/n knocks her shoe with his under the table, she thinks it’s cute how bashfully he can get when just asking a simple question. “It’s good. How are your little art students?” Harry playfully rolls his eyes at her choice of words.

“It’s good. They are doing self portraits.” Y/n laughs, her eyes widening.

“How’s that going?” Harry laughs, shaking his head. “They look like shittier versions of Picasso’s paintings.” Y/n dramatically gasps through her laughs, “aren’t you supposed to worship the ground that man walks on? Why would you say that?” Harry rolls his eyes once again, chuckling at her. “I’m just behind honest!”

Their date goes on the same, they order their food, giggling while they eat and even getting into a little food fight with the leftover breadsticks. (They weren't being humble, they asked for another basket) They finished their food, “That was fun.” Y/n admits smiling. Harry nods, taking the check and opening his wallet. “Here,” y/n holds out her card, Harry shaking his head. “I’ll pay.” Harry shrugs her off, handing his card tucked in the black check book the waiter had brought over back to him before she can further protest.

Y/n scoffs, throwing another breadstick at him that he tried to catch but it’s too greasy. “Hey! I thought we had a truce?!” Harry questions her. She shakes her head, apparently swearing off the truce. Harry shrugs, thanking the waiter when he brings his card back along with their mints. “You better sleep with one eye open then.” Harry says, standing up and waiting for her. She laughs, standing up and pulling her bag over her shoulder. “I have a three year old, I basically sleep with them both open. You’re nothin’.” She says, Harry nodding his head in agreement. He knows just how she feels.

They drive back to her flat, Harry of course walking her to her door. “I had so much fun tonight.” Harry says, looking down before he looks up at Y/n. She smiles, blushing. She hasn’t dated since Xavier and she admired that to Harry tonight, they both admitted that they haven’t dated since their children’s parents so they felt a lot comfortable knowing they were both rusty.

“Me too, you’re a really sweet guy, Harry.” She says. She needs to remember to thank her forgetful little Milo for leaving his folder in Harry’s classroom. “Thanks for agreeing to go out with me. I was pretty nervous.” Harry admits a bit sheepishly. Harry is a bit giddy on the inside about them hitting it off so well, they were having the best conversation and at times they were getting extremely loud, probably annoying the people around them, but they didn’t care, they had fun. “Yeah, I was nervous as hell but I haven’t had this much fun in a while. Thanks for tonight.” Y/n smiles, leaning in for a kiss.

Harry’s eyes widen, but he still kisses her back. He hasn’t kissed anyone in so long he thought he had forgot how to for a second. His hands come up to cup her jaw, moving his lips with hers. “I’ll see you soon. Have a good night.” Y/n smiles, opening her door with red cheeks. Harry nods, a little flabbergasted. “Have a good night.” He says, trudging down her steps.

And now he’s hooked on her.

Tag list: @romionefp @iaalien @hopeyoustaythenight @evanjh

If you liked this please reblog and please tell me what you thought of it ☺️ thank you for reading!! I hope you all like the series so far I’m writing part three right now so it should come out soon ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

#singledad!harry #dad!harry #dadrry #harry #harry styles #harry imagine #harry styles imagine #harry x reader #harry styles x reader #harry styles x single parent #harry x single parent #harry styles one shot #harry styles drabble #harry drabble #harry styles blurb #harry blurb #harry writing #harry styles writing #harry fic #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfiction #fic #fanfiction #writing #harry styles au #harry au #fine line #golden

[twilightdruig]

help?

pairing : george weasley x fem!reader

summary : “hi i’m your neighbor and while i know we’ve never spoken but you’re a single parent of two and my sister recently died leaving me to raise her infant and i have no idea what i’m doing, help?” au

warnings : swearing , mentions of character deaths , fluff , au where george lives alone with his two children in a cottage near the burrow , au where fred and cedric live.

words : 2.6k

a/n : this is my first fic so it’s probably gonna be shit (as you can probably tell i’m not good with titles either) but yeah hope you enjoy :> and i might do a little part 2 on this soon

holly l/n was loved by multiple. a sweet hufflepuff student who was favored by all the teachers and students. her sister, y/n was a scary and intimidating gryffindor who hung out in the library.

ever since the battle of hogwarts death eaters have been imprisoned in azkaban. but, that didn’t mean all harm was gone.

now here y/n l/n was, standing in the heat of the summer, her nephew connor l/n mourning the death of a family member.

the service was beautiful. a few hogwarts students came including luna lovegood and neville longbottom and professor sprout and professor flitwick decided to pay their respects. headmistress mcgonagall sent her condolences through a letter as well.

conner wasn’t old enough to go to hogwarts yet. there was no one else for holly to leave connor with. her husband, ronan died during the war, all connor’s grandparents died and the only appointed godparents were holly’s best friend cedric diggory and her sister y/n.

cedric diggory was now teaching first year flying at hogwarts and is married to cho chang.

y/n was currently doing nothing with her life. she wanted to live alone in a cottage, reading, stitching, picking apples and getting drunk on fruity cocktails. but now? she had to take care of her sister’s spoiled son.

y/n hated children more than she hated the people in her own hogwarts house. more so, she didn’t know how to take care of them.

she had to enroll her nephew in hogwarts, teach him basic life skills and other stuff like that. there goes her life goal on being that cool stoner aunt that hates love and children.

—

“shit, connor!” y/n exclaimed as her 3 year old nephew accidentally ate a ton tongue toffee made by the joke shop in diagon alley owned by the weasleys.

“sorry aunty y/n”

she was never close to the weasleys. all of them, stereotypical gryffindors, loud and chaotic and always the main characters.

the only thing she knew about them is that one of the twins live next to her. y/n didn’t know how to shrink his tongue and thought it was quite the convenience that he lives next door. he was a single dad with two daughters, maybe he could help her control her nephew and technically her adopted son, now.

she sighed. “put on your coat, we’re visiting our neighbors, ok con?” the little boy nodded in response

—

went the small cottage came into view, there were two little girls picking flowers on the front yard and a tall red-headed man on the porch watching them.

“hey! weasley!” she yelled with a small smile as she approached the small gate.

“l/n? what are you doing here?” george asked

y/n gestured to her nephew who was holding his now 3 foot long tongue. “he accidentally ate one of your products and i’m not entirely sure how to fix it”

“right, right” he laughed “come on, connor right? i’ll reverse that”

y/n felt a tug at her oversized cardigan. she looked down to see two identical ginger twins.

“hi there!” one smiled.

“hello!” y/n tried to sound as nice as possible. looking back at her teenage years she remembered laughing at kids who fell of their brooms their brooms when she’d watch first year flying. she remembered laughing at seamus finnigan when something blew up in his face. or when she’d laugh at any kid accidentally getting hurt.

“these are for you! they’re pretty just like you” the other twin exclaimed.

“i’m charlotte and she’s billie” charlotte giggled.

“how do u know our daddy?” billie asked

“oh! um, we went to school together and i live just next door” y/n replied

“do you know our uncle freddie?”

“i know all your uncles and your aunt ginny, aunt hermione and uncle harry. they were all famous when we were in school”

“wow!” they both exclaimed

george and connor came back out. “look aunty y/n! my tongue’s normal again!”

“aunty?” george questioned. “holly. she died quite recently.”

“oh! i’m so sorry. i heard about her. yeah. i believe mum sent some flowers for the service”

“yeah we received them”

“i’ll see you around?” george inquired

“yeah, yeah. and i might need some parenting advice? you knew how i was back at hogwarts”

“i am flattered, dear l/n”

“oh hush. and they get along.” she pointed to the three children running around.

“they do. and yes, i would love to help you tame that little rascal” george laughed.

“thank you, george. really.”

“i’m just next door, yeah?”

“yeah” y/n smiled “come on, connor. we’re going home. but we’ll definitely be seeing these lovely ladies soon.”

“bye pretty lady!” y/n heard two young voices call after her

“daddy, who was she?”

“is she gonna be our new mommy?”

—

george and y/n had been hanging out for the past weeks. he had given her advice on taking care of connor and how to deal with children. they also spent time talking about family and their time back at hogwarts. she was told about the attack of death eaters at one of his brothers’ wedding and how his daughters were named after his brothers bill and charlie.

a knock at y/n’s door interrupted her reading.

“oi, l/n!” she heard a familiar voice on the other side of the door.

“weasley” she muttered.

connor recognized george’s voice and the twins’ giggles, he decided he would take matters into his own little hands. connor knew how stubborn his aunt was at the young age of seven.

“hi billie! hi charlotte! hi uncle george!” the little boy squealed.

“hey there, con!” george ruffled his hair while billie and charlotte ran over to y/n.

connor and the twins were two years apart. connor was going to hogwarts the next year. no doubt would he be trouble to professor mcgonagall but everyone knew they were always her favorites.

“aunty y/n! uncle george brought cookies!” connor yelled excitedly. y/n was never the type to bake or cook. she did try to but it always ended in almost burning the house down. she usually fed connor fruits or store bought food.

“you didn’t have to” y/n responded while taking the plastic box.

“oh yes i did” he teased “i heard you’ve been starving this poor little fellow”

“daddy didn’t bake those cookies” charlotte stated “grandma did” billie continued

“oh” she smirked at george then turned to the twins “tell your grandma i say thanks!”

“uncle george! i wanna show you something outside! the twins can come too!”

“connor, what are you gonna show them?” y/n grumbled.

“your paintings! they’re amazing” her nephew jumped.

“paintings, eh?” george smiled “okay, let’s go, champ. see those paintings of your aunt.” the two scurried outside, two redheaded girls following after.

y/n groaned and fell back into the couch, finishing her book.

—

it’s been a few days since george and the twins came with cooking to y/n and connor’s cottage. she wanted to throw connor a little surprise birthday party.

connor has loved the twins and george so much, he thinks of them as blood relatives. y/n decided to call up cedric and cho to look after connor while she’d do some errands.

the two arrived exactly on time as y/n was preparing to go out. she had on a simple cardigan and loose denim pants.

“ced! cho! hi, how are you guys?” y/n greeted as she saw her old friends apparate into the cottage.

“hi y/n!” cho greeted “hey nerd” cedric snickered.

she sent cedric a small glare before connor jumped at the two.

“uncle ceddy! aunty cho! you’re here” he shouted.

“yeah buddy! your aunt’s gonna run some errands and visit your uncle georgie?” cedric winked at y/n. she had been owling cedric about george and how he’s been helping her with connor.

“are you going out with uncle george?” connor asked, eyes twinkling.

“i don’t know, actually. i might check him out next door.”

“george weasley?” cho teased.

“yes, cho,” y/n rolled her eyes “but on that note, i have to go”

“bye, connor! behave okay?” she crouched down and squished his cheeks.

“bye, ced! cho!” her voice faded when she dashed out the door.

—

y/n passed george’s cottage to see if he actually might want to come with her and do errands.

she was standing outside the small gate, hesitating. ‘maybe he was busy’ ‘he wouldn’t want to do errands with me’ ‘maybe he would if i told him it was for connor’s birthday’ she thought. y/n didn’t know why she was overthinking her choices. the first time she was standing right outside the gate she bursted in and demanded george to fix whatever happened to her nephew. now, she was nervous. her palms were sweaty and clammy.

she pushed herself in and walked to the front porch. she knocked a few times and was met with a head of messy brown hair.

“hermione?!” she squealed

“y/n!” hermione jumped to hug her old friend.

there were overlapping voices in the background and when they pulled away she was met with multiple mops of ginger hair, a head of blonde hair and another with black hair behind hermione.

“l/n?” ginny weasley asked, quite shocked what she would be doing outside george’s door.

“oh! did i interrupt something? i am so sorry!” she said feeling a bit nervous.

“oh! you must be the dearest y/n george keeps talking about!” an old woman she thought was mrs. weasley approached her from behind her children.

“hi there!” y/n said feeling a little embarrassed she might’ve barged in on a family reunion.

“ah! l/n? i have heard of your family! muggle-borns right?” arthur weasley joined his wife.

“uh, yeah!” she pursed her lips “i am so so sorry i interrupted! i should go. tell george i’ll swing by next time”

“oh it’s absolutely alright, dear” molly reassured her.

“george! there’s a really pretty girl! get your arse out here!” fred yelled to george who was probably inside the house.

“is she here?” charlotte and billie ran to the door.

“hi girls! tell you dad i was here yeah? say i’ll come by next time” most of the weasleys came back in. she took it as her time to go on with her day.

“oi! y/n! wait up” the voice she recognized as george’s called after her.

“george, hey”

“where’r you off to?” george pointed to the small bag that was swung over her shoulder.

“errands. connor’s birthday is coming up so i thought i’d prepare something for him. first birthday without his mum, you know”

“his birthday’s coming up?” george looked as excited as a child on christmas morning.

“yeah. why?” she smiled

“you’re talking to one of the best party planners there is. you also did talk to another one of them… i think”

“fred?”

“oh yeah”

“i wanted to ask if you wanted to come but seeing as to your family is in your house… i’m gonna take a wild guess and say you aren’t available right now” she giggled.

“maybe if you went another day” he said sympathetically. george really wanted to go and prepare connor’s party with her. he treated him like his own and boy did he remind him of how fun it was to be a kid. he loved his aunt so much it was adorable.

“george. seriously, it’s okay. spend time with your family” she laughed.

“yeah, yeah. i’ll see you when you get back” he waved.

—

connor’s small birthday gathering was in full swing. y/n became acquainted with george’s siblings. bill, charlie, percy (whom she was actually friends with back in hogwarts), fred, ron and ginny. hermione was a very good friend of hers and so was harry. she recognized fleur from that day in the cottage as beauxbatons triwizard champion.

connor had quite a bunch of guests for his birthday. cedric, cho, luna, neville, fred, percy, ron, harry, hermione, bill and fleur and their little victorie. of course, billie and charlotte helped george and y/n fix up the party. mr. and mrs. weasley sent a small cake for connor when they heard about y/n not knowing asingle thing about cooking.

fred offered to take care of the twins and connor while george and y/n ran off somewhere. the two found themselves near a small creek. y/n explained how the cottage was where she’d go off exploring and the only person who knew was holly. she was overjoyed when her sister got the cottage she used as a hideaway.

george was surprised when there were lights and blankets and everything. the soft sounds of running water was calming.

the two were pretty intoxicated when they sat down; stumbled onto the picnic blanket. y/n was sober enough to not spill her deepest darkest secrets. george on the other hand…

“have i ever told you how pretty you are?” george mumbled next to her. y/n only snickered and blushed.

“um, can i hold your hand?” he continued, taking a look at the girl next to him.

“sure” she winked.

“you know” he started again “i actually fancied you a bit back in school”

“yeah?” she rolled over to her side “i wonder… what did you like about me?”

“i don’t even know. my heart just felt so full with you. still does, right now, holding your hand, under the stars by a stream.” he had this glint in his eye when he looks at her.

“hey,” she brushed some hair out of his face “these past few months have been great. and you’re a huge help with connor. you know i’ll always be there for you, right?”

“yeah darling,” he yawned “yeah”

“wait, george!” she sat up “no. don’t fall asleep!”

“fuck” she groaned before falling back down on the blanket.

“i think i love you” she whispered.

—

morning rolled around and they were still lying somewhere in the forest behind the cottage. some childish chatter and laughs were heard from where they were still sleeping soundly.

until, a red ant bit y/n and george’s intertwined hands. “ah shit!” y/n woke up from the bite. her yell also woke up the sleeping man next to her “what?! what happened?” he jumped.

“oh. did i wake you up?” she asked.

“no. it’s honestly no worries” he said “but i do have a killer headache”

“an ant bit me” she muttered, wanting to scratch it.

“hey, no don’t scratch! i’ve had a lot if experience with insect bites” he explained “want me to kiss it better?” he teased.

“oh, ha-ha” she rolled her eyes but blushed.

“we should probably head back” he checked his watch while standing up.

—

“ah! there the lovebirds are!” fred exclaimed.

everyone was cleaning up from last night. there were children running around while chasing balloons and each other.

“yeah,” george started “we, um, fell asleep”

“sure ya did” this time ron teased the two.

“i’m gonna clean up here,” y/n offered “you guys should go home. you know, get some rest”

cedric gasped “y/n l/n! are you kicking us out?” he said in mock offense.

“technically, yeah. i doubt connor got any sleep”

“maybe we should,” fleur said with her accent “victorie was very excited for the party she is very worn out”

george snuck behind y/n “i think i love you too” he muttered under his breath. he wasn’t sure if she heard it. she did.

“i’ll see you later, y/n!” he yelled “come on, princesses, we’re going home. we’ll see connor and y/n later”

connor and the twins hugged while y/n said thank you’s to all the guests.

maybe it wasn’t such a bad decision to ask for help.

#george weasley #george weasley x reader #harry potter #hogwarts #george weasley imagine #george weasley x fem #george weasley x fem!reader #george weasley x y/n #george weasley x you

[jaanusbooktalk]

The Magic Fish by Trung Le Nguyen - Review

9/10 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

TWs: Homophobia, a character being outed, fleeing war, death, cannibalism

(TWs are ranked in order of severity, please take them seriously!)

Full disclosure: I cried.

And not in a cute, oh there’s a single tear running down my face, way. I’m talking full on “ugly crying in a bathroom stall after a break up” crying. And it’s not even a very sad book! It just hit really hard for me (and at this point you’re free to skip to the actual review this is just an over share) because I had just come out as lesbian to my grandma the previous night - not intentionally, but I had been told by relatives that she already knew because I’d tried before, so I mentioned it in passing and ended up having to come out all over again. I cried a lot that night, and she said it was fine but she wouldn’t look at me.

My grandma is Catholic, and similar to Tiến Phong, the main character, I grew up religious and going to Christian preschool and high school. The book deals with themes of homophobia as Tiến struggles to come out to his parents, but because of the language barrier he’s not sure how. Being a child of immigrants means wanting to do your best by your parents - I’ve always been afraid of disappointing them, and coming out felt like that. I could relate a lot to Tiến and his fears, and I’m gonna stress again to take those trigger warnings seriously.

So yeah, I cried, but at the end of the book I felt more whole than I’d felt coming into it. It’s a love letter to queer BIPOC, especially those of us who are first gen, and it was definitely what I needed at that moment.

I don’t actually read a lot of graphic novels, but The Magic Fish has convinced me to start.

So on to representation 🌈

I loved the representation in this book, and I couldn’t understand why until I read the author’s note at the end. Trung Le Nguyen originally started off trying to write a “very small story”. He talks about how with immigrant stories, they’re written as if everything in the story is supposed to orbit around that one aspect - it eclipses everything else. He also writes that readers will often intellectualize the immigrant experience, and how they often “start and end with an exodus” seldom acknowledging ‘the before’ and ‘the after’ as more than that. Trung Le Nguyen said he wanted to decenter the gravity of marginalization and focus on one of the little pieces in its orbit - and that’s where it hit for me.

In my hands I finally had a story about immigration from Asia, and the queer Asian diaspora, and it wasn’t centered around our pain. It wasn’t created to be!

Now don’t get me wrong, it’s important to talk about the immigrant struggle, but in the process the stories of immigrants and their families sometimes get reduced into archetypes - I was tired of looking for representation only to end up reading more about our pain and I wanted to read about our joy for once. This is the book.

Tiến’s story isn’t all about his struggle as a first generation American or even about coming out, it’s about the stories that connect him with his family, it’s about languages and how they can mix together in beautiful ways, it’s about friends and accepting each other.

What I liked:

I think stories were a great metaphor in this book.

Tiến reads his mother traditional Western fairytales as a way of bonding and helping her learn English, and some of them are similar to traditional Vietnamese fairytales that she remembers from her own childhood. In this way, a story becomes something that can transplant across continents and change shape to its new environment, and that’s a beautiful thing.

In TMF, stories become a metaphor for immigration. Tiến’s relationship to his culture and his experiences of community will be different from his parents, and his parents will have a different experience as immigrants than their own siblings back in Vietnam. They still find ways to connect, despite having different experiences and ways of communication. It made me realize that I can still communicate with my family that doesn’t speak English, we just have a different way of talking unique to us. And it’s not always verbal. Sometimes it’s just spending time together.

Also, the art was AMAZING. Some of the panels were drawn traditionally, others digitally, but the detail is gorgeous. I feel bad for the artist’s wrist after all that stippling (a drawing technique where you add texture by making many many tiny dots). The amount of research and effort put into the outfits and dresses alone is insane. To produce an entire graphic novel like that, writing and drawing every scene, is a huge undertaking!! I’ll show one of the panels (no spoilers) below:

Isn’t this BEAUTIFUL? 😍😍

I loved how the artist blended traditional clothes with the stories depending on who reads them.

Side note: (minor spoilers?)another thing I loved was how this book approached queerness, and how falling for someone who doesn’t like you back doesn’t have to end your relationship with them. sometimes that’s just how sexuality goes!

So true Sebastian 😭

Why I couldn’t give it a 10:

Honestly, this came really close to being a ten. The main factors against it were just:

1. I’m not used to reading graphic novels, and I wanted to slow down and look at each page but also get on with the story? There was a lot happening at once, so it was slightly overwhelming.

2. It was a little hard for me to get into at the beginning because the wording was a little vague and I couldn’t tell where the story was going. I think in hindsight it’s because the story isn’t being told linearly, like in Western storytelling, but in a more slice-of-life way, where you’re seeing a lot of different stories and the whole picture is slowly revealed.

Again, these were mainly personal things that I struggled with, but I know some experienced comic readers who had no problems and thoroughly enjoyed TMF!

Edit: I just looked it up and realized that TMF is semi-autobiographical so now I feel bad for criticizing it 😂

I Sincerely Recommend to Fans of:

• Fairytales (very specific ik)

• The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern

• Anything gay (this is for LGBTQ+ ppl - straight ppl who like reading gay stories, you are seen and suspected)

Finally, this isn’t from the actual story but it was in the author’s note (always read the author’s note and acknowledgements people!!) and it was so beautiful I just had to share.

The detail, the colors, the dress itself is gorgeous. I’m absolutely in love. Officially going to read more comic books from here on out!

^The vibe TMF gives me

(Unrelated but why are there so many n@ked ppl every time I search for gifs 💀 it’s so awkward cause I’ll just keep scrolling like “oops” & they’re just THERE)

#the magic fish #trung le nguyen #book review #poc books #bipocbookstagram #graphic novel #graphic novel recommendations #graphic novel review #is this too many tags? #probably #lgbtq books #gay books #Vietnamese representation #the starless sea #fairy tales #beautiful art

[waitimcomingtoo]

Open for holiday requests? Well then... ho,ho,ho🎅 Tom’s driving home frantically during holiday season and ends up getting his car stuck in a snowstorm. Reader and her family take him in from the cold and slowly he adjusts for the time being and maybe starts catching feelings???

I love a good hallmark like Xmas movie romance!

Home For The Holidays 

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Masterlist

“Spencer, look!” Lucas alerted his twin once he heard the knock. “There’s someone outside.”

Spencer got up to the window curiously and looked outside, seeing Tom covered head to toe in snow.

“It’s a monster.” Spencer shrieked as he ducked down from the window.

“It is not a monster.” Lucas rolled his eyes before looking out the window again. “Oh my God.”

“What?” Spencer asked, jumping up next to his twin to look out the window.

“Its a monster.” Lucas gasped. The boys scrambled to the door and flung it open, gasping in unison at the sight of a snow covered Tom.

“Hi. I’m-“

Are you the abdominal snowman?” Lucas asked as he let Tom in the door.

“No, I’m T-“

“Daisy!” Spencer cut him off with a shout. “Come in here!”

“Is there an adult I can speak to?” Tom asked the child as a little girl came into the room.

“Whats going on?” Daisy asked before her eyes landed on Tom. “Woah, is that an abdominal snowman?”

“Yea!” Spencer nodded. “He came right to our door.”

“I saw him out in the snow.” Lucas said proudly.

“Hey kids.” Tom spoke again. “Sorry to bother you, but I really need to talk to an adult. Are your parents home?”

“Did you come from the North Pole?” Spencer asked.

“No, Spencer.” Daisy rolled her eyes. “The abdominal snowman lives in Alaska.”

“I think he lives in Florida.” Lucas added.

“It’s actually abominable and I’m from Europe.” Tom cut in.

“Do you have magic powers?” Lucas asked.

“Yeah. I can use a phone really well. Do you want to see?” Tom tried to bait them into letting him use the phone.

“Wait!” Spencer gasped.

“What?” Daisy asked.

“Stranger danger.” Spencer realized. “We let a stranger into the house.”

“Oh no.” Lucas whined. “My parents are gonna be mad at me.”

“Mine too.” Daisy feared. “We can’t tell them.”

“Get Y/n.” Lucas instructed. “She’ll know what to do.”

“Okay.” Spencer ran out of the room, leaving Tom with the other two kids.

“Is Y/n your age?” Tom asked the children, hoping he wouldn’t have to deal with another child.

“No. Shes my cousin.” Daisy answered. “I think she’s 40. Shes really pretty though.”

“He’s right in here. He doesn’t look like the one in the movie.” Tom heard Spencer’s voice coming back. He came into the room with you, your one hand holding his and your other over your eyes.

“Okay. Can I open my eyes now?” You asked your brother.

“Uh huh.” Spencer said, and you slowly opened your eyes and removed your hand. Tom finally got a good look at you and felt all the air leave his chest.

“Uh, hi.” Tom waved awkwardly at you, taken aback by the beautiful stranger who let him on their house. You, on the other hand, were thinking something entirely different.

“AHHHHH.” You screamed and grabbed the children. “Intruder!”

“Woah woah woah.” Tom tried to calm you down. “The kids let me in.”

“Did you hurt them? Are you guys okay?” You asked as you inspected the children.

“We’re okay.” Lucas nodded, making you kiss his forehead out of relief. You picked Daisy up with one arm and held the boys close to you with your other as you backed away from Tom.

“Who are you and why are you in my house?” You demanded.

“My name is Tom.” Tom started slowly. “I’m so sorry to bother you but my car has broken down and I can’t get any service. Would you mind letting me use your phone?”

“My whole family is inside.” You told him. “Can you give me some sort of proof that you’re not chop us up and turn us into soup?”

“What kind of proof do you need?” Tom chuckled softly.

“Can you take me out to your car to show me that it’s broken down?”

“It’s really cold out here and I parked pretty far. It’s not safe for you to walk all the way out there.” Tom warned you.

“How far did you walk?” You asked, suddenly noticing how tired he looked.

“I’m not sure. You can’t see anything out there.” He shrugged. You chewed your lip and looked down at your siblings and cousin before making a decision.

“Kids, go inside and help grandma with the cooking.” You instructed. “Tell her I said you could have one piece of candy each.”

“Are we in trouble for letting a stranger inside?” Lucas asked fearfully.

“No, honey.” You assured him. “Just don’t do it again, okay? You did the right thing by coming to get me.”

The children smiled in relief before scurrying out of the room, leaving you alone with Tom.

“Empty your coat pockets” You demanded, trying to put on a brave face.

“Okay, but why?” Tom wondered as he took the contents of his pockets out.

“In case you have any weapons.” You said like it was obvious.

“There.” Tom said as he put the last of it on the table. “Pockets are empty.”

You eyed him skeptically before walking up to him and putting his hands in his pockets. You patted him down until you were satisfied.

“Okay. I believe you.” You nodded. “I’m Y/n, by the way.”

“Tom.” He shook your hand. “Are those your kids?”

“No.” You smiled. “Those were my brothers and my niece.”

“They’re cute.” Tom complimented. “They look like you.”

“Well, I have tons more in the living room.” You said proudly. “That’s why I have to keep you in here until I know you won’t hurt anyone.”

“How can I gain your trust?”

“Um, I don’t really know.” You realized. “I’ve never interrogated anyone before.”

“How about this.” Tom offered as he pulled off his hat and scarf, revealing his reddened face. “I’ll take off my stuff so you can see I’m just a regular guy.”

Your body language changed when you saw that he was a handsome guy your age. You blushed a little and looked around the room to gather yourself.

“Your skin is freezing.” You sighed as you touched a warm hand to his cold cheek. “How long have you been out there?”

“A while. I can’t feel anything below my neck.”

“You poor thing.” You sighed and rubbed his arms to warm him up. “Come on, let’s get you warmed up.”

“Wait, what about the interrogation?” Tom wondered.

“You passed. Now come on, before you get frostbite.” You laughed as you took his hand and lead him into your living room where your family was. Tom looked around the room, seeing at least 8 children and a bunch of adults. As soon as they saw you, your cousin Clementine ran into your arms for a hug. You scooped her up and held her on your hip as you addressed your family.

“Everyone, this is Tom.” You put your hand on Toms back. “His car broke down and he needs our help.”

“How cute is he!” Your aunt Linda gushed. “Look at those brown eyes.”

“The eyes? Look at that hair. So healthy.” Your Aunt Mary added.

“Nice to meet you Tom. I’m also Tom.” Your grandfather reached forward to shake Toms hand.

“And I’m Gary.” Your other grandfather shook his hand. “Nice handshake. Strong.”

“Thank you sir.” Tom smiled shyly.

“Ah, Y/n, he’s your age.” Your grandmother gasped. “What a cute couple you’d make.”

“Do you want to see my train set?” Your brother Charlie tugged on Toms hand. “I built it myself.”

“I helped.” Your youngest brother, George, told him. “I put the tracks together.”

“I’d love to see it.” Tom smiled at him.

“Can we get you something to eat?” Your uncle Jason asked Tom. “You must be starving.”

“How about a drink? Do you like hot chocolate? I just made some.” Aunt Linda offered.

“Have a seat, dear.” Your mom led Tom to a chair. “You must have been walking for miles.”

“A friend of mine owns the best auto shop in town. I’ll give him a call for you to see about your car.” Your uncle Richard said as he went to get the house phone.

“Thank you, sir. I greatly appreciate that.” Tom nodded in appreciation.

“Did you hear that?” Your mom gasped. “Manners.”

“And that accent.” Aunt Mary winked. “Oh, Y/n, he’s perfect for you.”

“Aunt Mary.” You glared at her. “We just met.”

“Oh, you must be freezing. I’ll get you a sweater.” Your other grandmother moved towards the closet.

“Make Y/n get it.” Your grandma waved her hand in dismissal. “You need to focus on the food.”

“Y/n, would you take Tom to get a fresh set of clothes? He’ll catch his death in this weather.” Your mother asked you.

“Please, don’t let me put you to any trouble.” Tom tried to stop them from going to great lengths for him.

“Nonsense. You’re our guest.” Your mother smiled at him.

“Follow me.” You put Clementine down and took Toms hand, leading him to one of the bedrooms.

“You have such a big family.” Tom commented as you reached the room.

“I know.” You smiled proudly as you got clothes out of the closet. “Every holiday is a huge celebration. It’s the only time we all get to be together.”

“That’s really great that you’re all so close.” Tom smiled as he looked at the family pictures hanging on the wall.

“Yeah. I wouldn’t trade them for anything. Here.” You handed him clothes. “You can put on anything you find and leave your wet clothes in the bathroom.”

You went to leave the room but Tom grabbed your arm.

“Y/n?” Tom asked.

“Yes, Tom?”

“Thank you. I really appreciate you letting me in.” Tom smiled warmly.

“And I really appreciate you not chopping my family up and turning us into soup.” You smiled back before leaving the room. You waited a few minutes before coming back in once you assumed Tom was finished changing.

“I found some more sweaters if none of those...” You trailed off when you saw what Tom was wearing.

“What?” Tom asked in confusion as he looked down at the sweater.

“That’s my dads sweater. I haven’t seen it in years.” You smiled softly as you ran your fingers down the material of the sweater.

“It’s so soft.” Tom chuckled as he felt it as well. “He doesn’t wear it anymore?”

“No. He um, he passed away a few years ago.” You admitted, keeping your eyes down.

“Oh, I’m so sorry. I can take it off.” Tom immediately went to remove it.

“No, it’s okay.” You stopped him. “It suits you.”

“Tom! Y/n!” Your aunt Linda called from the living room. “Hot chocolate is ready!”

“Come on.” You took his hand. “My aunt makes really good hot chocolate. You’ll love it.”

Tom blushed behind your back as you lead him to the kitchen, feeling intimidated when he saw your entire family sitting down.

“There you two are.” Your mother smiled. “We were just sitting down to eat.”

“You can sit next to me.” You pulled Tom to two empty seats. He pulled your chair out for you, making you smile.

“I wanna sit with Tom.” Daisy whined.

“No, I do.” George pouted.

“You can sit across from me.” Tom told George. “And I’ll sit in the middle of Y/n and Daisy.”

“I called the auto shop.” Your uncle told Tom. “They can’t send anybody out here until the morning. Hope you don’t spending the night here.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it.” Tom shook his head. “I’m sure I’ll find a hotel around here.”

“Nonsense. You’ll never make it to a hotel. Plus, we have a perfectly good bed right here.” Your grandpa insisted.

“I don’t want to put you to too much trouble.” Tom told your family. “You’ve already done so much for me.”

“It’s no trouble at all. We’re happy to have you here.” Your other grandpa said.

“Hot chocolate, for you.” Aunt Linda placed two mugs down in front of you and Tom.

“Would you like some potatoes?” Aunt Mary passed him the bowl.

“How about some greens? I put a little brown sugar on them to make them taste good.” Aunt Linda put some on Toms plate.

“You have to try this. It’s my special recipe.” Your grandma put a baked zucchini next to the green beans.

“My wife makes the best stuffing.” Uncle Gary chuckled as he put some on Toms plate. “You’ll want to take some before the kids get it all.”

“Ooo. Make sure you get some cranberry sauce.” Your mother filled the last empty spot on Toms dish.

“Thank you. All of you. I really appreciate your kindness.” Tom smiled fondly at the table, his heart warming with gratitude.

“It’s the holiday season. Kindness is the most important gift you can give.” Your grandpa declared.

“Tom, do you want to play dolls with me after dinner?” Your cousin Ivy asked.

“No, he has to see my train set first.” Charlie spoke up.

“We could put the dolls on the train.” Tom suggested, making all the children grin.

“Did you hear that? He’s a genius.” Lucas said to Spencer.

“How long is Tom gonna stay with us?” Ivy asked her mom.

“Can he stay in my room tonight? I have stars on my ceiling.” Lucas told Tom.

“That sounds really cool, Lucas.” Tom nodded. “You’ll have to show me.”

“Are you and Y/n gonna get married?” Clementine wondered out loud, making you slap your hand to your forehead while Tom laughed.

“We just met, Clementine.” You said shyly as you pushed your food around your plate.

“Do you like pie Tom?” Aunt Linda piped up. “I made apple and cherry.”

“And I made pumpkin.” You leaned towards him to tell him.

“I like pumpkin.” Tom smiled at you, leaning in as well.

“Me too.” You giggled as you bumped shoulders with him.

“Oh look!” Aunt Mary gasped. “You two are under the mistletoe.”

You and Tom looked up and sure enough, a bustle of mistletoe was hanging above your heads. Toms face immediately flushed as he looked at you, but you were busy giving an unamused look to your family.

“Wow.” You said sarcastically. “It’s almost like someone hung mistletoe over the only two empty seats at the table.”

“Maybe it was a coincidence.” Tom squeaked.

“Uh Uh.” You shook your head. “This was no coincidence. My family did this on purpose.”

You punctuated your sentence by standing up and taking the mistletoe down, making your family roll their eyes and huff.

“We’re not gonna kiss.” You declared as you set the mistletoe down on the table. “Not like this.”

Tom perked up at your words, but appeared to be the only one that heard it. He looked around the table for witnesses, but found that your family had given up and started eating. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched you slip the mistletoe into your cardigan pocket. Tom eyes you curiously but didn’t say anything as he began to eat his food.

After dinner, Tom helped you clear the table while the kids ran off to play. You couldn’t help but smile at him as he stood next to your grandmother, drying the dishes as she washed them.

“Look at him.” Your grandmother gawked. “He’s helping me wash the dishes.”

“Y/n, if you don’t marry him, I will.” Your mom clicked her tongue, making you roll your eyes.

“Stop it.” You scolded. “No one here marrying him. We don’t even know if he’s single.”

“Well, Tom, are you seeing anyone?” Aunt Mary asked him as she put the dishes away.

“I’m not, no.” Tom answered as he kept his eyes on you. You gave him a coy smile before looking away.

“Then when are you taking Y/n on a date?” Aunt Linda asked, making you gasp.”

“Aunt Linda!” You exclaimed. “That’s enough. Nothings gonna happen between us if you’re all poking around in our business. We’re leaving. Come on, Tom.”

Tom gave an apologetic look to your family as he followed you out of the room. You took his hand and brought him to one of the rooms, presumably the one you were staying in.

“Sorry about that.” You sighed as you shut the door behind you. “They’re always trying to set me up.”

“Has it ever worked before?” Tom asked, a hint of jealousy in his words.

“I don’t know.” You shrugged and flicked your eyes to the ceiling. “You tell me.”

Tom followed your eyes and looked up as well, smiling a little when he saw mistletoe badly taped above your heads.

“Hm.” Tom played coy. “Now, where did that come from?”

“I took it from the dining room.” You laughed. “It’d be a shame to go to waste.”

“You know what?” Tom smirked as he hooked his pinky under your chin, tilting your lips closer to his. “I was thinking the same thing.”

Tag List 🏷

@awesomebooklover17 @thebookwormlife @imanativeofswlondondahling @weirdr-artiest @serendipitous-amor @dummiesshort

@foreverxholland @lavender-writer @captainmandeestudent17 @whatareyouhidingpeter @takenbyheartstrings @ultrunning @imyourliquor-youremypoison @theolwebshooter @andreasworlsboring101 @waiting-to-be-myself @letsloveimagines @peterparkoure @a-villain-vying-for-attention @justcallmehitgirl @averyfosterthoughts @jackiehollanderr @tiny-friggin-human @mara-twins @iamaunicorn4704 @maryjanee23 @geeksareunique @emmamarshmellow @unbelievableholland @rebekkah4766 @flixndchill @sovereignparker @thisisthebiplace @spideydobrik @every-marveler-ever @undiadeestos @caelestii-e @eridanuswave @itscaminow @fiantomartell @solarxmoonchild @where-art-thau-romeo @canyouevencauseicant @illwritetomorrow @thehappygrungelife @saysomethingspiderman @parkerboop @smilexcaptainx @quaksonhehe @kelieah @kickingn-ames @babeyspidey @seasidecrowbar @lovelessdagger @love-sick-blues @electraheart-3174 @unbelievableholland @yourtypicalhotmess @spideyanakin @horanxholland @thesuitelifeofafangirl @anapocalypseinmymind @marshxx @heyheycharlatte @nooneinvitedfascistbarbie @tomshufflepuff @cookiemonstermusic258

@maybemona @young-romanoff @alexxcorona113 @fancyxparker @lethal-wisdom @xo-spidey @im-still-tryin-to-find-it @big-galaxy-chaos @pandaxnienke @theincredibledeadlyviper  @thestylestour  @officialsimppage @mrvelscaptains @peterspideysstuff @reemusluupin @perspectiveparker @itsemohours @satanswitchings @okkulta @parkerlovebot @sarcasticallywitty15 @mati4188 @geminiparkers @jungkxxkk @friendlyneighborhood-mendes @whatthefuckimbisexual @olixerwxxd @starkbrain @creatorofthegalaxy @far-from-holland @f-hollands @ilovefrogs1000 @itstaskeen @dreamedforu @itmatteredatthetime

#tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland fluff #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland x y/n #tom holland blurb #peter parker x reader #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x you #iron man #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker imagine #tom holland imagine

[adrikazu]

HORROR MOVIES

FEATURING— atsumu, kenma

GENRE— fluff

NOTES— i scrapped the other two because i finished both of them and didn’t save and theyre GONE dkendkdn i might edit this when i get hit with brain power to rewrite it with the original ideas i had

WARNINGS— mentions of death (in movie), cussing

Atsumu Miya

he looks unfazed at your offer

he’s like “oh good idea that’ll be fun to see you shit yourself lmao”

atsumu is the one who is pissing himself

it’s hard ok!!!!! it’s scary

“KYAHHHHH”

he tried not to reach for something to hide and when something happens he’s gonna try to look away

highkey scared but lowkey interested

interested only to make fun of that character who dies first

there’s always that funny character right? he loves them he thinks he would be them

when the comedic character dies to bring the movie to a more serious level, he loses his cool

atsumu and comedic horror movies is a match made in heaven

he loves them bc he hates the tension it’s so hard to deal with

when you laugh at him he’s definitely gonna yell

HIS POOR PRIDE AHAHAHA

if you laugh he’ll begin to roast you too he’ll try to be cool

“ #roasted #fire #🔥 #flex #💪”

he’s trying his best to lift the scary tension the movie has created so he won’t pee himself

reaching for your hand is his last resort and if he does he’ll play it off as a joke

will probably do it again if you have an expression that shows him that you think it’s funny or you’re cool with it

drinks respect crush juice

ok but he is also the type to throw all sorts of stuff at his crush/friends

so he’s definitely gonna try some shit in this movie and end up failing bc he’s a LOSER

atsumu miya will prove to you he is not a loser who’s scared

miserably fails but HEY you guys watched a horror movie

if you’re miraculously awake late at night he’s gonna call you

“S/o i cant sleep”

“why?”

“i think i see smth in my room idrk…”

tells you he wants to call osamu for help

doesn’t bc his ego is huge

Kenma Kozume

okay but at first he’s actually unfazed

he’s a gamer bro he sees this stuff all the time

if he somehow decides on having a character he likes and that person dies, he’s gonna be salty

insert angry frowning kenma

i feel like if you get scared and grab into him for support he’s just gonna look at you and give you a small shit eating grin

there must be a horror movie about video games right??

one that might make him uneasy is the ring imo

it’s a girl coming to kill you, crawling out of your screen

kenma is probably at a screen all day when he has the time so he can’t imagine being interrupted LMFAO

KIDDING but i’m 100% he would run out of the room and ask for help if such thing were to happen

lowkey embarrassed and mad but he would never admit this reaction to that possibility

the type of person to tell you to shut up

“Be quiet i can’t hear the movie”

“kenma i’m whispering”

hogs the snacks smh

if you snatch the snacks away he’s going to fight you for them

a literal war while a horror movie is on

it’ll definitely drive the tension away but this mf doesn’t care about that

if it’s cold he’ll pull the blanket towards himself and leave you out there in the cold

at the end of the movie he’ll look at you turning into ice, snort, and then go to the kitchen for more food

it’s so funny to see him walk away because he looks like a grandma

would definitely attempt to scare you

“don’t call me if you see something in your room”

will be lowkey annoyed if there’s bloopers but he also enjoys them a little

he’s like THERES MORE?????

100% does not go to bed scared if he goes to bed at all

#haikyuu!! #haikyuu #kenma kozume #kenma x reader #kenma kozume x reader #kenma #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #atsumu miya #atsumu x reader #atsumu miya x reader #atsumu miya fluff #kenma kozume fluff #haikyuu fluff #atsumu #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu hcs #haikyu #haikyu!! #haikyuu kenma #haikyuu atsumu

[imaginesmai]

Arvin Russell - The right time

SO YEAH I SAW THE DEVIL ALL THE TIME AND I LOVED IT!! My opinion about it is at the end! In case you haven’t seen it and you still want to read this, you can skip it by not looking at the A/N. Let me know what you think about the film in the comments, please! Or just message me! I’m feeling like writting about him, so please 

SEND YOUR REQUESTS.

Plot: Arvin’s father always told him to wait for the right time, and he thought it was the only right way to do things. Now, when you’ve been hurt because of him, he’s ready to take the matters into his own hands.

WARNINGS: TDATT SPOILERS. Mentions of rape. Murder. 

Arvin didn’t know if the preacher had heard him or not coming in, because he hadn’t turned around to look at him. If anything, that only made him angrier. He was sure that if he had heard him and looked at him, he wouldn’t have spared him another glance. Because Arvin Russell wasn’t of his interest, not because of the money and the gender. The last thought made him tighten his grip around the gun, willing himself not to shoot him before the right time.

Since Lenora’s death, he had been waiting for the right time. That was what his father told him; to wait for the right time, and then to avenge yourself. He had been doing pretty good with that mantra, or at least most of the times. Arvin had followed the preacher to his house and to his adventures with young women. He had watched as he fucked a young girl from Lenora’s class and then went back to his wife, scoffing when dinner wasn’t ready and urging her to satisfy him when bed time arrived. He had held his gun tight to his chest, knowing the right time would eventually come; and then, he had hated his father more than ever, because listening to him had almost caused another precious death.

“Arvin!” his grandma called from downstair. Quickly, he closed the notebook where he was keeping track of the preacher’s actions. “Boy, Mr. Y/L/N is here!”

Arvin frowned at the mention of your father. You had known each other for your whole life, so he knew your family story; that your mother had left you after promising your father that she would leave her adventurous life when she got pregnant. She left with some young man that was going to travel the world, and your father had locked himself up in a unbreakable shell, forgetting about his eleven’s years old daughter.

Not once he had seen your father outside your house, you being in charge of dropping food and money for him. Not matter how many times Arvin had tried to convince you that you would be better on your own. Even living with him, once your relationship wasn’t just friends anymore. But you had just shook your head softly and told him that you couldn’t leave him, not yet.

So it was strange that it was your father and not you who was knocking on his door. He had agreed to meet you that morning to show you finally what he was on lately, since he couldn’t hide anything; but you hadn’t come, with the excuse of visiting Lenora’s grave once more. You were her best friend, so after offering to go with you, he agreed on meeting you at night.

Briefly, he looked to the box where you two were saving a bit of your earnings for your life together. He doubted your father knew about it, so he got up and walked down the stairs.

“Here he is” Emma smiled at him. “Well, I’m leavin’ you to it. I’m in the kitchen”

“Arvin” your father called his name, voice croaked from not using it. “God, you’re a man now”

Arvin gave your father a small smile. The man, once handsome, broad and tall, was now hunched shadow. He had a several days long beard, skinny arms and wide clothes. Mr Y/L/N was hiding his hands behind his body, only making him look worse. Still, Arvin extended one hand and offered him a shake, greeting him.

“I’m – uh, sorry, you didn’t have to come down. But Emma started calling you before I could explain” he gave him an awkward chuckle.

“Don’t worry, Mr. Y/L/N. Is there… anything I can help with?”

“Is Y/N here?”

The question caught Arvin off guard, because usually you spent days in Arvin’s house and your father didn’t notice as long as there was food on the fridge. Lately, the man had been doing an effort of getting better, and some nights you had told Arvin how he had attempted to cook for you. From there to wondering where you were there was a huge step, and for a second Arvin tried to sniffle for any track of alcohol. There was none.

“Usually, I wouldn’t really care but, you know – getting better and all” he tried to explain himself. “She spends most of the time here, so I thought that maybe she’s around? I haven’t seen her since yesterday’s afternoon”

The last part caught Arvin attention. He talked with you last time before starting yesterday’s shift, which was before noon. And you told him you were going to spend the rest of the day with your father, and that the next morning you intended to pay Lenora a visit. He hadn’t worried about it, because he had been busy and trusted you to take care of yourself. But if you hadn’t slept on your house, then there was something to worry about.

“She… Y/N told me she was goin’ to spend the mornin’ in the graveyard” Arvin mumbled.

“Oh, she went yesterday after you left her home” he explained, making Arvin’s blood run cold. “I had things to do so she told me she’d go and then pay you a visit”

Your father said something else, but Arvin wasn’t listening anymore. There was another person he had missed last night; the preacher, who usually went home somewhere near eight, didn’t appear until very much later. He knew because he had been waiting outside his house, watching his wife sitting in front of a cold dinner with tears on her eyes. He had thought nothing of it at first, but now, he choked on his breath knowing what could have happened.

Arvin’s body collided with your father when he walked past him and ran out of the house, hearing the man calling out for him. His grandma also looked through the kitchen window, screaming his name before Arvin disappeared into the field that went to the town’s graveyard.

Thinking about it, Arvin knew it was like finding a needle in a haystack. Knockemstiff was full of sinners, bad people and wicked intentions. Even if you didn’t go to highschool no more and worked to provide to your father, Arvin had had to deal with a few men who thought you were available, whether you wanted or not. There were a lot of people who could have hurt you, a lot of reasons why you didn’t go back home last night, and none of them made sense in his head.

You knew how to defend yourself, you had a car that could help you to escape any delicate situation, and you never got lost. Not once you had wandered off without telling anyone, not even your father. Even if he wasn’t listening or paying attention, you always told him where you were going.

Thoughts ran past his mind at the same time Arvin ran past his neighbours and cars, trying not to collide with anyone but finding it difficult, since he couldn’t see much past his oncoming tears. Loosing Leonora had been one thing. His sister, his family and the person he had fought nail and tooth to protect for so many years. He had been waiting for the right moment to avenge her, to put a bullet in between the preacher’s eyes, or maybe a few. One for every second she had suffered hanging from that rope.

And he swore, that if he had had anything to do with your disappearance, there wouldn’t be an inch of his body untouched by the bullets.

He wasn’t as late as he could have been, he guessed. The police was warned, a group of villagers offered to help, and Arvin himself kept running in circles around the graveyard for the whole day. Even Grandma, who wasn’t in the best shape, had helped into the search. And she had been the one who had found you, maybe because she had just this woman-ly instinct or because God had wanted it to be a woman who found your naked, bruised body and not some sinful man.

Arvin had arrived then – and sure, you were alive, recovering in his room because he didn’t want to leave your side ever again, barely saying a word and healing from the bruised kidney. But you weren’t fine, you weren’t smiling at Arvin and cradling his head when he lost his track. It had been obvious what had happened that day, why it had taken Arvin a few hours to find each piece of your clothes and where the bruises around your thighs came.

Your father had dissapeared again, locking himself in his room and forgetting about his daughter once more. But Arvin had been there every second for the past week, getting you to eat what you could and holding you tight through the nightmares. 

The bench he was sitting on creaked under his fingers when Arvin thought about your sobs, how your tried to hide beside him when last week you complained about Virginia heat. The preacher looked back to Arvin, who wasn’t visible because of the cap.

“Excuse me, preacher” Arvin’s voice didn’t waver. “You got time for a sinner?”

Upon hearing Arvin’s voice, and knowing it wasn’t anyone from his interest – a girl – he turned around and motioned for him to keep going. It wasn’t any more about Lenora´s death, because Arvin would have had enough with killing him. Maybe making him suffer for a bit, making him feel the desperation of knowing death was the only answer. Now, however, Arvin wanted to cut off every inch of skin that had touched yours.

“Go ahead” preacher Teagardin told him, going back to his lecture.

Arvin took his time, talking about everything that the preacher had done of thought about since he put a foot in Knockemstiff. He talked about how the preacher forced his wife to please him late at night, how he ordered her around as if she was just a servant. He talked about how he liked young girls, those who were innocent enough that didn’t have to be forced, just manipulated. About the pregnancy, and how he cowered away once his decisions had repercussions.

He watched from behind his cap how the preacher left the book on the bench, his eyes widening in size as he realised the sins Arvin was talking about were his. He turned around finally, locking eyes with Arvin, but not recognizing him. Why would he, though, since everything he looked at were Arvin’s precious girls. First his sister, and now his girl. As he continued, he shifted the gun on his lap, wanting to end his story before blowing his brains out.

“And there is this other girl. She ain’t like the rest, cause she doesn’ fall for the lies. So I decided to approach her when she was alon’, kicked her head open and brought her to the back of my car. Forcer her and left her in the woods” Arvin’s finished. “Didn’ care if she was a ‘right or not. Just fucked her good and left her to die”

“Who are you, boy?” the preacher chuckled awkwardly, getting up. “Why don’t you take off your cap?”

“She was found, thankfully. Naked, bruised, unconscious. She doesn’t talk no more, just cries” Arvin’s voice was full of venom, finally taking off his cap. “But I don’ care, cause I ain’t responsible for that neither”

The preacher went to jump forward, maybe hoping to kill Arvin, scare him away or knock him unconscious. If it came to Arvin’s word against his, probably just a few people would believe Arvin; but the truth would come out eventually, and both of them knew it. No one would ever know what the preacher would have done then, because true to his word, Arvin Russell didn’t leave an inch of the preacher’s skin untouched from the bullets.

-

Later that night, Arvin walked into his dark room, knowing it would be his last night in Knockemstiff. He still didn’t have a plan, didn’t have a way to leave without being chased or hurting his family. For that night, he was just a scared boy whose responsibilities would have to wait.

He climbed into the room through the window, not making any noise and avoiding his grandma and grand uncle. If they didn’t know he was there that night, they wouldn’t have anything against the police; they would be safe. They would be just fine with the money he was leaving behind, probably a bit tight but enough to have a good life. The next problem, however, was harder. He let you nest against him when he crawled into bed, let you hide your face against his neck and not talk for another night of what happened that day. Not that there was much to talk, because it wouldn’t happen again.

Not knowing if you heard him or not, Arvin told you what he had done. Tears ran down his cheeks when he told you how he couldn’t stop pulling the trigger on him, how he would do it again and again, and how he felt guilty about not doing it sooner. The same as your father, he expected you not to hear a word of what he had said. But you surprised him when your shaky, thin hand made its way to his cheek and made him look at you.

“You can’t say anything, Arv” your whispered, the pale cheeks a contrast with your hard voice. “We need to run away”

“W-we?” Arvin frowned, confused. “You can’t – darlin’, I-I can’t… you and, uh, we –“

“You’re not leaving without me, Arvin Russell”

For the first time in a week, you pressed your lips against him. He had almost forgotten how it felt to have something good, not just rage and pain. Arvin let more tears fall as he slowly cradled the back of your head, not wanting to move in case it would end. It didn��t last longer, anyway; soon, you were tearing away. But rather than just cuddling his side, you laid your head against his shoulder and hug his middle.

He had thousands of thoughts that he wanted to say. That he was sorry, for not telling you sooner what he was doing and for not taking better care of you. That he should have taken care of the preacher on the begging, and not trusting on the advice of someone who killed himself in front of their kid. But he didn’t say anything, just hug you close, knowing there was no way he would leave the town without you.

Because together, everything felt like the right time.

Want to read more? Check out my side blog @imaginesmaimasterlists​, where I keep all the masterlists! Feedback is always appreciated

Tom Holland and Peter Parker Taglist

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A/N (my opinion on tdatt):

So, WOW. I saw it last night because I don’t have Netflix, so I had to meet a friend to watch it. And it was - wow. The way Tom Holland and Robert Pattinson go out of their way to work their accents and roles is amazing. Even though I hate the preacher’s character (who doesn’t), I loved how Robert works with him and makes him his. He’s always an amazing actor, but this time he outdid himself!

And Tom... Well, he got me with the first word he said. That part when he’s with Lenora and gets beaten up... and then, the way he avengers her from the bullies is amazing. I also loved watching how he had a relationship with a fem character that wasn’t romantical. He showed every emotion, thought and action with just his face, and I love him for it.

I don’t think it’s a film that should be seen just becuase he’s in it. It’s amazing, breath-taking and beautiful. I love this kind of films, but if you don’t is understable. It’s quite violent and can tigger anybody. Still, I’ll give it 8/10 - becuase I would have loved to see more of other characters! Message me if you want to talk about it

#arvin russell #arvin russel x reader #arvin russell one shot #arvin russell imagine #arvin russell x reader #arvin russell fic #tom holland #tom holland one shot #tom holland x reader #tom holland imagine #tom holland fic #tdatt #the devil all the time imagine #the devil all the time one shot #the devil all the time x reader #the devil all the time fic #tdatt imagine #tdatt one shot #tdatt fic #imaginesmai #imaginemai

[tendouluvr]

songs i associate hq!! boys with [2]

- characters: kita, kuroo, kenma, kageyama

- warnings: newly-weds/domesticity in kita’s, talk about death in kuroo’s (nothing too dark though, just some nightly sleep talk), mentions of bickering in kageyama’s

- wc: 240, 376, 220, 312

a/n: i forgot abt this series for a fat minute

KITA : wabie - hey lover!

#! kita never would’ve thought he could get someone like you in his life. he wasn’t a bad person, no, his grandma raised him right. but he also wasn’t the best either so how, how did he get to spend the rest of his life with you? was he some kind of a philanthropist in his past life who saved thousands of lives? he doesn’t know, but what he does know is that you’re currently sound asleep in his arms. it’s the morning after your wedding and kita is showered with the feeling of a new type of domesticity. the plan for a honeymoon was heavily contemplated on between the both of you, wanting some time for yourselves away or save the money for much more important stuff in the future. kita was fine with anything, as long as you were happy. after a lot of thinking was done from the both of you, it was decided that the money will be kept locked up for the future (future as in the baby). kita’s loving gaze was still on you when you started stirring in your sleep. he softly smiles at you nudging yourself even closer to him, and moved around so that you can lay on top of his chest while he has his arms wrapped around your back. humming softly to lull you back to sleep, he whispers a small, “i love you.” before closing his eyes once again.

KUROO : the girl and the dreamcatcher - glowing in the dark

#! “what would you do when i die?” your voice hoarsely mutters into the dark silence. you were both in bed cuddling, your back to his chest and his arm going around your waist to slip his fingers into yours. kuroo was about to doze off when you asked him that so he blinked at the sudden question. “what do you mean? are you dying, babe?” he tucks his head down to rest the top of his head on your back, it was previously laying right beside your own head. you softly laughed, “no, but i’m just curious. y’know what i would do if you died? well, i would be sad obviously but then i’ll-,” he made a small noise which caught your attention so you stopped talking, “are you okay?” you asked him after a few seconds of silence went by and he was still. “just sad?” he whined from behind you while shaking the arm that was wrapped around you, causing your body to shake with it. “i can’t believe all you’ll feel is sad, do you not love me ynnnnn?!” he dramatically whined continuing to shake you even harder. you scoffed and held his arm so he could stop moving and turned around to face him, “shut up, you know what i meant when i said sad. stop crying,” you said in between small laughs when he raised his head up to look at you. it was peaceful while you stared into each other’s eyes and a sly smile slowly made its way onto his stupid face. “well, when you die-,” his big emphasis on when made you raised your eyebrows, “-i’ll probably bury myself in work to forget how lonely it is.” the smile slowly falls off of his face the more he talked and before you knew it, your face was quickly smashed onto his chest. “i don’t wanna talk about this anymore, i love you. maybe to the moon and back.” he felt your smile against his chest and held you even tighter, burying his head into your neck. a few minutes passed, it was silent again, and kuroo was once again about to doze off when you whispered into his ear, “i love you, too. maybe to the moon and back.”

KENMA : playboi carti - @ meh (llusion & banakula remix)

#! it was late at night and you were both in the car driving around with no destination in mind. kenma’s arm was across the center console grabbing onto your open hand, both of your clasped hands resting on your thigh. his phone was connected to bluetooth and the relaxing catchy instrumental of the song was playing in the background while you looked out of the window. the street lamps were on and kenma’s driving zoomed past them making you see blurs. you were both still in your pajamas, thinking that you had no reason to be getting out of the car. you felt kenma slightly squeeze your hand before raising it up to press a quick kiss against the back of your hand. no talking was needed, no words exchanged, all you needed was to look at kenma’s side profile while he was driving with one hand to feel giddy. “what are you smiling at?” he asked after noticing how long your eyes were still on him. you didn’t answer him, but instead smiled even more before taking your still conjoined hands and press it onto your face so you can hide behind it. kenma was quick to let out an airy laugh through his nose because he knows you currently had the widest smile on your adorable, embarrassed face.

KAGEYAMA : clairo - bags

#! “where are you going?” kageyama asks as he’s standing in the middle of the living room watching you move around. the little bickering you guys just had was honestly annoying you to the point that you couldn’t stand being in the apartment with him right now, so you decided to grab some of your things to go stay with your best friend until tomorrow morning. “b-babe? why are you leaving?” he stutters out, legs still stuck to the floor. “because your presence is irritating me. i’m annoyed right now so i’m going to leave for the night. i’ll be back tomorrow, don’t worry. good night kags.” you opened the door but before you could step out, the door quickly shut with the force of kageyama’s hand. he finally got his legs to work again and rushed over to you. “don’t leave. please. put your bags down. i’m.. i’m sorry. sorry for not listening and being stubborn. just stay with me, please.” his arm was outstretched in front of him, trapping you against the door. your back was still facing him, not wanting to turn around yet. “i can take the couch tonight if you’d like. i don’t care, just don’t go.” his voice so small you almost didn’t catch everything. a few moments of silence passed before you said, “ok, i’ll stay,” letting out a sigh, you turned around to look at him, “please just be a bit more considerate of what i told you about earlier. i can’t deal with you if you refuse to listen and see things from my perspective any time i speak up about something.” he quickly nods his head and agreed, holding out a pinky in front of your face. you gave him a small smile at his gesture and wrapped your pinky with his, locking in the promise he just made to you that night.

#quatruple k hell yea!! #it was almost triple k until i realized #thank u kageyama for being the fourth k #written with love - ar #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #kita fluff #kita scenarios #kita imagines #kita blurb #kita x reader #kuroo fluff #kuroo scenarios #kuroo imagine #kuroo blurb #kuroo x reader #kenma fluff #kenma scenario #kenma imagine #kenma blurb #kenma x reader #kageyama fluff #kageyama scenarios #kageyama imagines #kageyama blurb #kageyama x reader #kita x gn!reader #kuroo x gn reader #kenma x gn!reader #kageyama x gn reader

[sparklingchan]

The Prince and I || Jeong Yunho(Ateez)

Pairing : Reader (fem.) x Yunho.

Word count : 9.2k+

Warnings : Cuss words, minor injuries, Yunho BEING A FLUFFBALL!!

Genre : Fluff, angst, Arranged marriage au, Royal au.

Description : Your marriage to Prince Yunho feels like nothing less than a fairytale - but a fairytale is incomplete without a villain, right?

A/N:  This fic took longer than I thought it would lol  

This is a part of the holiday treats event conducted by kafenetwork.          This fic is for the lovely Anna! I hope you like it and I hope it didn’t disappoint. I’m sorry I cannot tag you here because this site always decides to eat up my posts with tags in it :((

Enjoy!

"This wedding dress is a little expensive, granny."

The silky cloth slips away from in between your fingers, as quick as sand. You hadn't ever touched a piece of cloth as beautiful and smooth as this one, really. In fact, you'd never ever seen anything like the dress presented before you at the moment. And well, as much as you want to buy it, you knew you couldn't. Not unless you use up all your life's savings.

"I'm sure Ms. Claire here could find us something less...royal." you mutter again when your Grandmother doesn't respond.

Ms. Claire, the owner of the elegant boutique you find yourself standing in this morning, smiles at you sheepishly. "Oh, what nonsense! You will be married into a royal family, y/n. I cannot have you wear a normal wedding dress."

You sigh, turning away from the mannequin that donnes your dream wedding dress and crouching down to speak to your granny, "Granny, we won't have any money left if we buy this."

Your grandmother has been in the wheel chair for as long as you could remember. But she has more energy and life in her than most young people out there, including you. She's like this ball of sunshine who adores you to death. And now that the most important event of your life is slowly coming close with every passing day, you find her enthusiasm increasing likewise. She would wake up every morning and coax you to work out and do your skin care routine every night before bed. Today too, she forced you to allow her to tag along on your last shopping trip before your big day. Though you never say it out loud, your grandmother is nothing short of an angle. And you'd do anything to make her happy.

"I have saved up enough money to buy three such dresses, y/n." Your grandmother says as you lean down , "Miss Claire, pack this one up please."

Miss Claire nods and smiles at your granny, "Surely, madam."

Her assistant takes away the mannequin to get it packed up and billed.

You sit on the small couch present in the room as your eyes roam around the room full of pretty dresses and veils and shoes. It feels surreal all of a sudden, as if you were in a day dream you'd often think about as a teenager.

"What? Do you want anything else? I have enough money for that too." Your grandmother chimes in, rolling the wheelchair a little towards you, "Should we buy one for your mom too?"

Your mom, though equally excited for your wedding as your grandmother, was more on the realistic side. She'd give you a reality check ever so often - about husbands and in-laws and everything surrounding it. You're also not very sure your mom would appreciate spending so much money on dresses in a single day, especially when your wedding stands only four days away.

"No, granny, mom has enough dresses." You run a soothing hand through her grey and thin hair, "Aren't you tired? We've been out for a long time now."

"Do I look tired to you? " she raises an eyebrow, her eyes wrinkling up as she smiles at you sweetly. She's such an adorable little woman that it makes your heart melt everytime she looks at you.

"No," you roll your eyes, "Guess we can go and pick up Maya's dress while we're at it."

"Maya as in your best friend? The annoyingly loud girl from your college?" You snort at your granny's choice of words to describe your best friend.

You hear Miss Claire call you towards the payment counter and before you could move a finger, your granny races you to it.

"Come on, girl, what are you- eighty?" She teases you with a loud chuckle.

And still, you may not say it out loud , but your granny is your whole world. And when you are married off into the royal family of your father's old hometown, the only person you'll miss badly is probably your sweet old grandmother.

Later that evening, after dropping your grandma back home, you decide to walk to your best friend's apartment which is located just a few blocks away from yours. You carry her dress with you but deep down, you know that's not the only reason as to why you wanted to visit her this late at night.

"I need advice. "

"About what?"

"Marriage and life. "

Your best friend's eyes widen at your words. Her lips part as if she wanted to comment something but then stopped herself. "Maya, dude please. I'm terribly scared and I can't talk to anyone else at home." You admit, playing with the hem of your dress. A sudden sense of embarrassment and shyness washes over you but you push all that away before they get the best of you.

Maya puts down her dress on the bed.

"Y/n, I could give you all the advice in the world but believe me, you won't be able to apply it practically. I married a normal man from a normal family. We live in a cozy apartment in a city. But for you, it's different. You'll not marry a common person- you're marrying a prince for God's sake. A Crown Prince on top of that. You'll be living in a castle far away in the mountains. I don't know how my advice would be of any help here, y/n." Maya says, her hand gently patting yours.

You shift in your place, the bed creaking softly beneath you.

Maya is unarguably right - her advice won't be useful in your case. In fact, no one's advice would be useful to you unless they've had a first hand experience with an arranged marriage and a royal life. Yet these facts do little to comfort your growing fear and anxiousness.

"I haven't even met him in person yet. I only saw him over a few stupid video calls and in his pictures. I don't know what to expect." You say.

His Highness Crown Prince Yunho is a pretty busy man it turns out. So busy that he hasn't even been able to take some time out of his duties and come visit his fiancé for a few hours. He's a beautiful man, you have to say. Elegant and stylish and well mannered and everything about him screams Royal. He often texts you in his free time and calls you once in a blue moon. He seems like a nice man indeed, the kind you'd love to marry even without his royal heritage. But being his wife and a Crown Princess is a challenge you'd have to face completely on your own.

"Your granny thinks he's a good man, y/n. Maybe you should trust her judgement. Old people have that in themselves, you know." Maya says with a small smile, "Plus he's a Prince. You'll live a luxurious life, y/n. Don't be so pessimistic! I'm sure things will turn out great."

You give your best friend a tight hug for trying to cheer you up and helping you forget your fears even if it's just for a few hours . That night, as you toss and turn in your bed, trying to keep your mind free from thoughts about your life after marriage, you realise how big of a change this one thing will make.

And you're not very sure if you're ready for that change yet.

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

The weather is quite pleasant today, the sun shining softly through the thin curtain of clouds and the humidity deciding to be a little forgiving today but too bad you're stuck inside your room, folding clothes and making sure all your necessities are packed in the luggage.

"Well, this is not how I expected my last day at home to turn out, " you complain to your mother who sits across from you on the bed, helping you pack your things, "But it is what it is, I guess."

Your mom chuckles, placing your folded clothes into huge black suitcase spread open on the floor. "This isn't bad. You're alone with your family and friend, what more do you need?"

A fancy Bachelorette party with your friends and a few male strippers didn't sound like a very appropriate response so you decide to just shake your head.

"Aren't you angry though? Even just a little bit?" She asks. You scowl at the unexpected, out of context question. You are scared and anxious and nervous but angry? Not at all.

"What do you mean? Why would I be angry?" You reply, crossing your arms in front of your chest, "I'm fine."

She sighs, momentarily pausing her actions to face you. Her eyes are a little moist, you notice, and her lips pressed into a sad line. "Your grandmother betrothed you to Prince Yunho when you guys were just nineteen. It is an arranged marriage, to a person you don't know and a family which holds so much power. She didn't give you freedom to choose your own partner. Aren't you angry about that?" She elaborates.

You feel a soft tug in your heart at her words. You've been so preoccupied with worrying about how you'd handle yourself after marriage that you never really thought about this. Even so, when you really think about it, you can't find it in yourself to be angry at your grandmother.

"Granny and Prince Yunho's grandmother were best friends, mom. They made a promise and I respect that. Plus granny never forced me to say yes. I did that on my own account. " you explain yourself, your hand slowly reaching over to squeeze your mom's shoulder, "Don't worry about me. I'll manage. I always do."

Its rather funny how you were the one needing assurance from Maya a few nights ago and here you are, repeating the same words of encouragement to your mother. A part of you is obviously still terrified of the future, but that's not your mom's problem to deal with. It's entirely yours.

Your mom sniffs, but a tear manages to roll down her cheek, "I'll miss having you around. Why couldn't she have arranged your marriage to a normal person who lived in the same city?"

And then it finally dawns on you. It really is your last day at home. Your last day in the city you so dearly loved, your last day in the house which has seen you grow from a little baby to a beautiful, young woman. It's your last day as y/n y/l/n, your parents' only child and your grandmother's favorite grandchild. Tomorrow, you would be a Princess, a wife, a person of political importance. And your heart breaks a little at the thought of never getting this life back again.

"Mom.." you mutter, your eyes tearing up as well. Words fall short when it comes to describing how much you'll miss everyone and everything here. Starting from your friends to your family to the smallest of decorative items in your room that you've managed to collect over the years. It's like a piece of you would just cease to exist. As the night grows darker and the day crosses over to the next one, you hold your mother close as the both of you let out the quietest of sobs and realise that this might be the last time she'd have you all to herself.

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡   

The journey from your parents' old house to Prince Yunho's ancestral palace is short - not with respect to time but with respect to the fact that amidst tearful eyes and memory flashbacks, the car ride gives you little to no time to settle your hurricane of thoughts.

As your dad's car slowly pulls over in front of a huge black metal gate, you are welcomed with a view that seems right out of a fairytale. The Royal palace is located in the most beautiful locations you've ever been to, a place you never thought could exist in real life. It almost feels like you are in a dream. With the beautiful backdrop of lush green mountains in the back, the Palace stands tall on the foothills of the mountains. The pastel pink walls and the carefully carved window panes look ethereal with contrast to the tall black gates that securely surround the palace. A group of servants are rowed in front of the man main entrance, with warm smiles and trays full of welcome drinks.

But you're far too mesmerized by the place to bother consuming anything at the moment.

This place - this breathtakingly gorgeous palace with the biggest gardens and tallest fountains- would be your home. For a long time, home meant your crammed little apartment which always smelt like cinnamon and bread. It had no big gardens, no servants, no fountains but it was your home. Your safe place. You wonder if this place could ever feel like home.

"Geez, y/n, I'm so jealous." Maya whisper-squeals in your ear as the servants lead you inside, "Do you want to exchange husbands?"

You nudge her gently with your elbow, "Shut up. Or I'll have you thrown out."

You are made to walk through a quiet hallway that has a huge wooden door at the end. On both sides of the hallway, pictures and paintings and vintage weapons are displayed like in museums and the marble floor beneath you shines like water under the sun. Every nook and corner of this place is a treasure waiting to be discovered, you realise.

The servants open the wooden door and lead you inside into what appears to look like a Throne Room. Now, you'd never really been to one before but movies and books have taught you that this is what a Throne room probably looks like - with a Grand Throne placed at the very center and numerous chairs placed on either side of it. The walls in this room are graced with more pictures and paintings of kings and queens and common people and soldiers. You wonder if your picture would ever be up there somewhere in the future.

"Oh, hello lovely people!" A manly voice booms through the hall, "I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long."

A few quick taps of feet on the floor and there stands in front of you a very familiar face - as if you'd almost seen him in a dream.

Black tuxedo, perfectly styled hair, a walkie-talkie in his hand, the man before you looks right out of a James Bond movie. "I'm Choi San, Prince Yunho's personal secretary and the royal family's representative for the day."

He claps his hands together, "Her Highness the Queen Regent, Her Highness the Queen Mother and His Highness Crown Prince Yunho sadly couldn't be here since they have some important charity event to attend. I deeply apologize for that. In their place, allow me to welcome you to the Jeong family's Grand palace!"

"You'll all be taken to your rooms now because you must be tired from the journey. If you need anything, just tell one of these servants."

The servants nod at San and signal you and your family to follow them.

"Uh, lady Y/n. Mind if I have a word with you?" San interrupts.

Although surprised, you nod as you let your family walk off to their rooms.

"Yes?" You ask San.

San's eyes are focused on your frame - every movement, every expression, every word - he's observing you as if to make sure you're the right person for Prince Yunho. You feel self conscious all of a sudden.

"Yunho did say you're a charming person. I just didn't think I'd agree with him before, but now..I definitely do." San giggles, offering you his hand, "I'm Choi San at your service, madam. Your wish is my command."

You bow gently at him, "I'm y/n y/l/n. It's nice to meet you too, sir."

San chuckles, "Please don't call me that, your Highness. I'm your employee. Besides I have something important to talk to you about. "

The last few words form a tight knot in your stomach, fear finding it's way through your veins.

"Y-yeah?"

"You have a coronation ceremony tonight. I hope you know that. We've already hired a stylist who will take care of all you from now on. She'll meet you immediately after lunch." San explains, "And here's my business card. Contact me if anything comes up, okay?"

You gulp as you accept the shining business card from him, "Thanks. I'll do that."

San smiles sympathetically, as if he understood the fears swimming inside you. He offers you a gentle, encouraging pat on the shoulder.

"I know how you feel. A palace is a scary place, I won't deny. But if I can survive here, so can you. Plus you have Yunho. He's the nicest man a person could ever ask for, I'm sure." San says.

Your whole body relaxes a little as a soft breeze of comfort washes over you with the words leaving San's mouth. This is what you'd been wanting to hear for a long time - a reassurance that you'll be safe and okay as a member of the Royal family and that Prince Yunho might be a person you could love. But for now, you focus on keeping your self calm.

"Now, do you mind walking me to my room? I find myself a bit lost." You giggle.

San finds himself chuckling in response, "Of course, your majesty."

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

When San had told you that you'd have your own personal stylist, you did not expect this . Even in your wildest dreams, this is not something you'd catch yourself wanting.

The beautiful blue gown clutches to your upper body at just the right places and then flows down your waist like a beautiful waterfall under the sunlight. A diamond necklace graces your otherwise empty neck complimented with matching earrings. The stylist - Alisa - puts your hair up in a pretty bun and then places a beautiful diamond tiara on your head. And when your eyes finally land on your reflection in the mirror, your mouth hangs open with no words but just air slipping out of it as response.

"Do you like it, your Highness?" Alisa asks with hopeful eyes. Her shy smile giving away the fact that she wants you to like what she's done, her efforts and ideas.

You have to blink hard for a few more seconds before coming to terms with the fact that you look so beautiful right now. A part you is in denial while a part of you is jumping around, doing a victory dance in happiness. You weren't used to seeing yourself look this good. Your heart leaps at the thought of Prince Yunho seeing you like this - almost like a princess who's lived in castles all her life. And then you realize that you would be one ; in only a few minutes.

"I love it, Alisa. You're brilliant!" You exclaim, wrapping your arms tightly around the stylist in happiness. By Lisa's stiff response, you are sure you'd taken her by surprise. Royals do not go around hugging normal stylists yet this hug was a symbol of your thankfulness towards her for putting so much effort into you, to make you feel special. Alisa's proud smile reaches to her eyes as she quickly works on placing the brooch pin in the right place on your dress.

A knock on your room's door attracts your attention and you are quick to fix yourself in case it was someone from the Royal family.

"I'll get that." Alisa jogs quickly towards the door.

When the door creaks opens, you see a familiar face standing there - familiar enough to know it was your fiancé, the most handsome man you'd ever laid eyes on, with the kindest smile and brightest eyes. Your heart stops beating for a dangerous second.

"Oh, hello your Highness. " Alisa greets him, bowing slightly, "Miss y/n is ready to go."

And when Yunho looks at you, your soul as if escapes your body. "H-hi, Prince Yunho."

He walks towards you with warm, red cheeks and perfect black hair and a stylish black tuxedo and offers you his hand, "It's nice to finally meet you, my lady."

How does one ever respond to that? How does one ever behave in front of an actual, real life prince, who also happens to be your fiancé? He presses his lips to your fingers ever so gently.

The butterflies in your stomach go wild.

"Shall we go now? Everyone's waiting for you, my lady." He asks.

You nod, wrapping an arm around his, "Yes."

The short walk towards the throne room is mostly filled with a comfortable sense of silence, except for the times when Prince Yunho points at some random picture on the wall and talks about it. Your eyes seem to be following every movement of his, and everytime your eyes meet, you find yourself melting under his gaze. You are smitten by him and there's no denying in that.

On entering the throne room, all heads turn towards you - ministers, relatives, your family, Yunho's friends, San and all servants present there observe you as Yunho walks you down the flowery aisle leading to the Throne. You could feel everyone's eyes on you, scary yet exciting, they follow your every movement and every word and every expression.

And when they bow down slightly as you stand on the right side on the Throne, you realise these people weren't just bowing at Yunho, there were also bowing down at you. Because you'll be his wife tomorrow, a princess, a figure that should be loved by the people. The only thing keeping you grounded is Yunho's gentle hand softly clutching yours. It's as if he could sense your inner turmoil before even you do it yourself. "Are you nervous?" He whispers in your ear.

"Yes, a little. "

"Don't be. I'm here with you."

The main door to the hall opens and two women walk inside, at least ten soldiers walking in front and behind them, guns at ready and eyes critically scanning all the faces.

The older woman, who you assume to be the Queen Mother and Yunho's grandmother, wears a sweet smile and walks as gracefully as ever even in this senile age. She waves gleefully at the crowd bowing down to her. On her left stands a slightly younger woman, Yunho's aunt and the Queen Regent who has been the ruler of this kingdom after Yunho's parents passed away in a tragic accident ten years ago. Rumor has it that the Queen Regent is a strict, emotionless ruler who has no mercy for criminals and is harsh with all the employees of the palace. You notice her serious gaze fixed in your direction and shudder in fear even though you've barely ever talked to her before.

"May the Queen Mother live long! May the Queen Regent live long!" Someone chants and the others follow suit in the blink of an eye.

You suddenly feel as if you are in some period drama.

The Queen Regent takes her place on the throne while the Queen Mother takes a seat on the left side of the Throne. A single wave of the Queen Regent's hand and the crowd goes completely silent.

"Hello to everyone gathered here today. I am very, very glad to welcome a new member of the family - lady y/n y/l/n. She is to be the wife of my beloved nephew Yunho and the future Queen of this kingdom. Please give her a warm welcome!"

The hall erupts into claps and cheers and your name being repeated as if in a chant. Your grip on Yunho's arm tightens.

"I'm there, my lady." He says again, "Don't be afraid."

San brings out a huge sword and places it in the Queen Regent's hands. This sword is what you assume to be the Jeong family's old, sacred sword used by generations and generations of brave kings and queens to protect themselves as well as the citizens of their beloved country. This sword is a symbol of pride and victories. And a lost history.

"As per ancient traditions, I will now be crowning miss y/n as a princess before her wedding with the prince tomorrow. From now on she will be called her Highness Crown princess Y/n. She is an important member of our family from this day forth."

"Y/n, go on and kneel in front of my aunt." Yunho whispers, nodding at you with a proud smile, "You're doing so great already."

You comply by his words and kneel in front of the throne, your head hanging low and eyes squeezed shut with anxiousness of what is to come.

"Welcome to the family, y/n." You hear the Queen Regent's voice before she gently taps your right shoulder with the tip of the sword and then the left one. You feel a few droplets of water being sprinkled on your face.

"Rise, Crown Princess. Face your people and let them welcome you with open arms."

It is done. You are a princess now. This can never be undone, this name, this title will stick with you till the end of time. You're no longer a normal girl with small dreams and basic requirements, you're a future Queen now.

Rise, Crown Princess.

And you do.

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

Every person has dreamt about their own wedding at least once in their life - whether it is in the peak of their teenage or in the innocent wonders of their childhood or the wildest dreams of their adult years, this thought found itself in everyone's mind.

You had one such dream too.

But your dream had always been very simple. A nice man, your closest friends and family, a cheap and beautiful wedding dress, a small party with limited people - that is all you've ever wanted. You didn't want a gathering of four hundred people who you barely knew, the new reporters shoving their cameras into your face, heavy make up or expensive jewelry, or a husband who you barely knew. But guess that is what the Gods had written in your fate. And you have no option now than to accept things the way they are.

You don't remember much from the wedding ceremony or the huge party that follows, really ; you only remember Yunho's lips pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead when the priest asks the groom to kiss the bride(probably the best part of the day), your grandmother's tears of happiness and Alisa and San winking at the two of you after the ceremony was over. Everything else felt like a blur, as if your head had been underwater all this while.

An hour or so into the party, Prince Yunho asks you to walk with him. Alone. Though reluctant, how could you ever say no to those innocent eyes? The discomfort from being surrounded by hundreds of unknown people slowly disappears as the two of you walk around the garden, your eyes never meeting but a sense of familiarity settling between the two of you.

"I'm not used to this, you know." He says with a shy smile.

The sky is beautiful, decorated with stars and a full moon but nothing compares the glow on Yunho's face when he turns to glance at you.

"Used to what?" You enquire, "Having so many people here?"

He shakes his head, "No. I'm used to having a lot of people here. That's all I've ever seen. What I'm not used to is this. Having a partner or someone else live in my room with me."

"So...?"

"I'm happy about it. I really am. But I know you're new to this royal lifestyle and we barely even know each other that well but I hope you don't regret this marriage. Because I'm sure that I won't. " Yunho sighs, "And if you ever feel like it's not worth your time anymore, you are more than free to leave. Forget about everyone else, do what your heart says. "

The last phrase catches you off guard. It is very, very rare to find people who give you this sort of freedom in any arrangement. The fact that he opens up his thoughts to you makes your heart leap with happiness. And a little sadness too that he'd think you'd leave him so easily.

"Hey," you pat his arm, "I'm not leaving anytime soon. I promise. We made a vow, didn't we?"

Yunho blushes at your words, but under the bright moonlight it goes unnoticed by you.

"Do you mind if I hold your hand?" He suggests after a few seconds of silence.

The butterflies in your stomach are seemingly having the time of their life these past few days.

"I don't." You slide your hand into his and your fingers intertwine almost instantly. His warm palm presses against your cold one, bring a sense of comfort you never thought you'd ever experience. In the midst of a chaotic royal gathering and the paparazzi trying to sneak in through the gates, you and Yunho find a small world for yourselves that no one else can ever have access to.

And for the first time in months, you realise that this marriage might be worth more than what you thought it would be.

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

You've always wondered what the people in royal palaces do. Do they spend all their time greeting the citizens and walking in the gardens? Do they keep dancing in the ballroom all the time? Or do they busy themselves with war conspiracies?

Sadly you realise that royal life sounds very exciting and extravagant only when you're not the one actually living a life like that. And this conclusion dawns on you only after ten days of the wedding.

The first week is packed with activities, alright. Visiting the common people and distant relatives and going to various public events. Your curiosity was at its peak till a few days ago, but now here you are, sitting on the edge of your soft bed, phone in lap and eyes drooping with sleepiness, wondering how to keep yourself occupied.

"Y/n?" The door creaks open as Yunho peeks inside shyly, "Can I come in?"

You nod, "It's your room, Yunho. You don't need my permission to enter."

"Oh, I was just making sure you weren't doing anything you didn't want me to see."

Oh. Your cheeks turn into crimson fruits as his words finally hit you.

"Anyway, I actually came to get my file. But I saw you sitting here. Are you bored?"

Are you? Heck, yes!

"Yes." You reply almost guiltily.

Chuckling, he leans down to press a loving kiss on top of your head, "Come on. I'll show you something."

You took pride in the fact that after only a week of staying here, you knew the palace fairly well. The corridors and paintings and artifacts and the workers weren't as foreign to you anymore. Yet the path Yunho takes you to seems weirdly unfamiliar.

Guess new surprises await everyday.

Soon enough, your steps halt in front of a huge wooden door labeled as ' library '.

Rows and rows of books welcome you the moment you step inside, Yunho leading the way into the most beautiful library you'd ever seen in your life. As always, paintings grace the wooden walls and a huge crystal chandelier hangs from the middle most point of the ceiling.

"Yunho...is this..what heaven looks like?"

The smell of old and new books hit your nostrils as you run a gentle hand over the book kept in the shelves, feeling the various materials of book covers brush past your fingertips.

"Maybe." Yunho responds with a grin.

Yunho's heart feels full with adoration and content at the sight of you dancing around the books shelves, gleefully taking notes of the books you plan to read on the days to come. Your eyes curl up into crescent moons as your toothy smile seems to have taken Yunho's breath away. Beautiful is what you look. Simple and elegant and so innocent.

All his life he's spent among royal people, people with political intentions and lots of money. But you make him feel differently. Being with you feels like a breath of fresh air for Yunho. And who wouldn't like that?

"Earth to Yunho." You click your fingers in front of his face after you catch him staring at you. Not that you didn't like it, but you had to do something before you turn into a mush before his eyes, "What are you thinking?"

"Oh, um..nothing." you. He was thinking about you, "How about I ask the workers to bring my office stuff over here? I can work here while you read. I don't want you to be alone."

A shameless grin plasters over your lips.

"I'd like that, Yunho. I'd like that very much. "

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

"How's the married life treating you?" Your granny asks you this question every damn time she decides to call you. 

And surprisingly somehow, you always answer positively to her query.

"Well, good. I think so at least. " you smile to yourself, remembering the soft kiss Yunho had placed on your head as he left for an official trip this morning. Even in your half asleep state, your cheeks had turned bright red, "Prince Yunho is a nice man. "

"Oh, of course he is! I wouldn't have asked you to marry him otherwise, you idiot." She yells at you although you know she's smiling through the phone, "Anyway, I can't talk for long today. I have a doctor's appointment so I'll need to dress up for that."

That comes as a surprise, "What? Are you sick ?"

"God, no. I'm not a weakling, okay? It's the regular check up. Don't worry." She says, "Bye now. "

The line goes silent.

Sighing, you put your phone down on the night stand. On times like this, when the room is too quiet and you are too lazy to walk out and talk to other people, you start missing home. A lot more than usual. Your house, though only consisting of four people was way too noisy from sunset till sundown and somehow, you'd gotten used to it. The quietness has yet to grow on you.

A slight knock on the door attracts your attention and you immediately allow whoever it is to come inside.

"Oh, Alisa. It's you!" You exclaim as relief washes over you on seeing a familiar face.

"Yes, your Highness. How have you been?" She bows down to you, "Are you able to adjust to this new life?"

"I've been okay, you could say. Still a little overwhelmed whenever I have to face people but I think I'm getting there." You laugh a little.

Alisa gives you an understanding nod, "I totally understand. But I'm glad you're feeling more comfortable. By the way, I came here to ask you if you wanted to visit my boutique in the town nearby. It's a new one and I wanted you to come see it before the inauguration. "

Your heart jumps at the offer. You remember back in your college days, you would often go shopping with Maya, especially on weekends. The two of you would wait for months for a sale or special offers because online shopping sometimes just doesn't do it for you. You smile, nostalgic, "I'd love to go."

"And then maybe we could go and eat in the pizzeria nearby. It serves the best pizza in the world, I swear."

This is just beyond tempting at this point, a literal trap to have you step out of the role of a royal Princess and embracing the careless city girl inside of you and who are you to keep her hidden for too long?

"What are we waiting for then?"

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

Yunho surprises you every now and then.

On the outside, he is a strict man with the sharpest of brains and the most observant eyes. The title of being a crown prince sits heavy on his shoulders and with every passing day, the weight just get heavier.

On the contrary, the Yunho you get to see everyday is very different. Soft and cheerful and smiley, he's the literal embodiment of the sunshine and your heart doesn't seem to rest everytime you see him.

It must have been roughly a month since the wedding when he makes an impromptu plan of visiting your city and your parents' house since it had been a long time you last saw them.

"Heard you were going to your parents house?" You had gotten ready to go before Yunho did, so instead of sitting in your bedroom, you decided take a short walk outside in the gardens. And as you strolled around aimlessly among the flowers and bushes, deep in thoughts, you had come across the Queen Mother sitting by the water fountain.

"Yes, your majesty." You reply, rather intimated by her aura.

It's hard to accept sometimes that this person is best friends with your grandmother, when the both of them are as different from each other as the two poles! Your grandmother is the ever so sweet, smiling, supportive person. You would never see her angry or upset. But on the other hand, the Queen Mother is uptight, very quiet and rarely ever smiles. Just like her daughter, the Queen Regent. Maybe it's a royal thing but you're glad you don't have to see this serious side of Yunho on a daily basis.

"Good. The farther from here, the better." She mumbles.

You are alarmed at her words, "I'm sorry?"

She sighs, her walking sticking tapping the marble wall of the fountain, "Y/n, I adore you. I might not show it but I'm glad my grandson has someone like you to make his life less lonely. But you have to be careful. Not everyone is appreciative of a person of common birth being crowned as a Crown Princess. "

Fear slowly clutches you in its palms. You had gotten very occupied with Yunho and being a crown princess and making new friends, you admit. So occupied that you let your guard down. And the Queen Mother's words sound more like an advice than a threat.

"Should I be worried?" You ask, your skin going cold at the thought of someone actually wanting to hurt you.

"Not yet, no. But be very, very careful. You cannot trust anyone here. Not even me. The only person you can lean on is Yunho. Why? Because he might be as much in danger as you."

Have you ever seen how people start panicking when any sort of alarm goes off? Yeah, thats exactly how you feel at that moment.

"Y/n, let's go!" You hear Yunho call you from the front gate, already taking his seat inside his car.

You bow at the Queen Mother before jogging towards Yunho, your heart no longer into the trip as it were a few minutes ago.

Yet seeing your parents and granny after so long did comfort you.

They had prepared this small barbeque party in your backyard, your dad playing guitar and purposely singing badly to embarrass you while your mother shows Yunho your childhood pictures. And the food, oh, the food! The five star chefs from Yunho's palace could never replace this comfort food you had at your parents house. It might not be well decorated with garnishes or spices or fancy plates but it made you feel like everything will eventually be okay - which is exactly what you needed at the moment.

The entire evening you try hard to talk to Yunho but when your house is full of three excited adults, it is hard to do that. Around one am in the morning, you finally find yourself in your old bedroom, Yunho's fascinated eyes roaming around the room that feels like it were straight out of some teenage romance movie. Where in reality you'd honestly been too lazy to change the room's layout once you outgrew your teenage obsessions and interests.

"You seem to be liking my room a little too much. " you chuckle, scrolling aimlessly through your phone, your face partly squished into your favorite pillow.

The boyband posters, old polaroids from your school functions, romance novels stacked up neatly by the nightstand - all of this is as foreign to him as his palace is to you.

Yunho lies down beside you, still in awe of the room, "Yeah, it literally mirrors your personality. "

"How?"

"I can't explain it, you know," he clicks his tongue, "But everything in this room screams y/n. Like everything here is made only for you."

You raise your eyebrow at his words. He's very observant, that you've noticed, but the fact that he knows you this well in barely a month warms your heart.

"What about our bedroom in the palace? Is it not made for me?"

"Oh, it is. Of course it is. But you're staying there because you have to, right? Because we're married and all that." He replies.

"No, I'm not. I told you Yunho - I'm staying there because I want to." You say, now no longer in a mood to joke around.

Suddenly, the words from The Queen Mother swim back into your mind, as you start seeing her words in a completely different light.

Yunho has somehow always expressed how he is unable to believe your presence around him and how he acts like you're doing a favor by doing that. And you find yourself wondering if Yunho knows what she'd said to you. The danger that looms above both of your heads must not be as much of a secret to him than you thought it would be. So instead of confronting him, you decide to comfort him.

"We'll be fine, Yunho. " you drag your hand towards his, your body relaxing the moment he squeezes it back, "Both of us."

Yunho looks at you with love and desire clear in his eyes, his free hand slowly dragging towards your face. You could see it now- the loneliness from the loss of his parents and the negligence from his aunt and grandmother throughout his childhood still very much exists behind the mask of a happy prince. You do not know the language of royal people or politics but you do know the language of love and more than a stupid gold crown, he needs someone to love him. And thats exactly what you intend to do.

Was it too soon? You didn't care anymore. And you know for a fact that he didn't either.

You lean in close and press your forehead to his, "You're not alone anymore. Okay?"

You see him smile from your hooded gaze, your breath mixing with his in an intoxicating mixture. "Thank you, y/n. You have no idea how much I appreciate it."

And that in itself are a combination of words much more heavier than a simple 'I like you.'

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

"The Queen Regent wishes to see you."

San runs up to you the first thing the next morning, right after breakfast.

"Why?" You ask, your eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

You had a plan to accompany your granny and the Queen Mother to their small tea party in a nearby Farmhouse but you couldn't obviously say no to meeting the Queen Regent. Because well, she's the Queen.

"I don't know, your Highness. I try to stay away from her as much as possible but whenever our paths do cross, she always assigns some work to me." He whines, "Go on, I'll tell the Queen Mother that you're occupied. I will be heading out with Yunho right now anyway."

Shaking your head in annoyance, you make your way to the Queen Regent's office.

Her office smells like expensive cigars the moment you step inside, and the full ashtray on her table only feeds into your conclusions.

"You asked for me, your majesty?" You ask in a low voice.

When she looks up from writing in her journal, your heart skips a few beats in fear. Her eyes hold no resemblance to Yunho's angelic ones or even The Queen Mother's serious ones. They look like two deep, bottomless black holes that swallow everything and anything in its vicinity. Her long hair is tied in a braid and her lips quiver passively upon seeing you.

"Ah, yes." She replies, "Please have a seat."

You take the chair in front of her desk, uncomfortable at the close proximity between you and the one person who everyone tries to avoid.

"How are you?" She begins, closing her journal and keeping her pen inside the drawer, "How are things going with Yunho?"

"I'm good, thank you for asking. And yes, things are going well with Yunho."

Her question seems odd, but you let it pass.

"Okay. That's really great to hear. Anyway, I met your husband a little while ago. And he asked me to tell you that he intends to see you on the rooftop alone later tonight." She raises an eyebrow, a gentle smile playing on her lips, "Looks like he has a date planned."

Her words seem too far fetched to be true. Too unrealistic. Not the date part though, but the part where he specifically ask her to pass on the message to you. He could have easily asked San or Lisa or even told you in first person, so why would he choose the Queen Regent out of so many people when he you've barely seen him talk to her?

But you're a Crown Princess, and she's the Queen and you cannot question her. "Okay, I'll be there." You get up from your seat and bowing gently, "Thank you for letting me know, your majesty. By the way, did he mention what time I am to go ?"

"Oh um...Around seven in the evening?" She's fumbling on her words, and you're sure she's lying about something.

Still you suppress your doubts and walk back to your room, hoping to find the truth behind her words this evening at seven.

The entire day goes by in the blink of an eye, but to you it feels like an eternity. The curiosity has you sitting at the edge of your bed, ready to make a run for it if any danger ever comes your way.

Yunho, who was out with San for some official work has surprisingly not texted you today at all. And it only adds to your doubts of the Queen Regent being a liar.

And when night finally falls, you find yourself tense up more than you'd done the entire day.

The night is quiet, calm but beautiful and as you step into the terrace and the soft wind kisses your face, you almost believe the Queen Regent's words. Maybe Yunho did really plan a surprise date for you. Because this is everything that Yunho likes. A beautiful night and a company he loves.

The terrace stands high giving you a beautiful view of the entire palace complex, the gardens and everything beyond. And for a moment, your worries diminish as you step near the railing, inhaling the fresh air and you feel safe.

But, you see, that's where you are wrong. This imaginary cloud of safety that you'd thought was around you was never there in the first place. Since the first time you stepped into the palace, all eyes have been on you - on every action, every activity, every word. You'd always been swimming in a dangerous sea. One wrong move, and you realise the shark is right behind you. And just how the Queen Mother had told you, you were only ever safe with Yunho by your side. But he isn't here anymore.

So it doesn't come as a when a pair of rough hands give you a single, harsh push, sending you falling right down five floors.

"You will never be our queen." Is what you hear before your vision dissolves into a black hole.

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

When you were six years old, you fell down your bike once while trying to copy some stupid stunt you'd seen people on television shows do. The excruciating pain that followed the fall was something which you thought you'd never have to experience again. That was the kind of pain which hurts you down to your very bones, sending waves of shock through your body with a single movement of your hands.

And that is exactly how you expect to feel the moment you open your eyes and come face to face with a familiar ceiling. But all you feel is sore, like how you feel the morning after exercising after a long while.

The bandages on your arms and abdomen indicate that your fall wasn't as bad as you thought it'd be but it was, nevertheless, a fall which was very much done on purpose.

"Y/n, honey, are you awake?" You hear Yunho's groggy voice coming from somewhere near the foot of the bed you lie on.

"Y-yeah. What happened?" You manage to sit up even though your body feels heavy with fatigue, "How did I fall?"

Yunho appears by your bed side in the blink of an eye and your heart clenches with relief when he bends down to kiss your head.

It feels like you hadn't seen him in days, years, where as it had only been around two days since you passed out. Yunho had rushed back home the moment he found out about it, leaving all his stupid official work for some other day. Hell, he would happily give up all his responsibilities if it means he could see you and keep you safe. He'd cried for nights and days, never leaving your side even when the nurses would change your clothes or bandage dressing. The mere thought of you never waking up again was too dark for him, especially when he'd found such a happy place in you. You are the owner of his heart and everything else that he could give you. You are, literally, his only family member. His whole world. And if he loses you, he would lose himself with you.

"A-are you okay?" He sits down on the bed, holding your hand so tight as if he was afraid you'd disappear if he let's go, "does it hurt anywhere?"

"Just a little bit, but I'm okay. I feel fine." You say, smiling through your busted lips.

Your smile as if breaks a wall he'd been holding onto for days, and his eyes immediately tear up.

"I'm so so sorry, y/n. I should have been there. I should have been protecting you. I keep forgetting I'm not a stupid guy with a normal life and that people I associate with might get into trouble anytime. I'm so sorry, I should have protected you from my Aunt and Alisa. I'm so fucking sorry."

Aunt? And Alisa? What is he taking about?

"Yunho, what are you -"

"They planned it. The entire thing. They purposely sent me and grandma away so no one would doubt them. Aunt had supposedly promised my hand in marriage to Alisa a long time ago but Grandma got us married instead. They were angry. So angry that they went ahead and tried to k-kill you. " he sobs into his hands, the tip of his nose turning bright red, "Alisa was the one who pushed you. They forgot to remove the CCTV footage."

You freeze for a second, Alisa's betrayal hurting you worse than The Queen Regent's. You almost thought you could find a friend in her, just like Maya. You trusted her. You felt safe around her when in reality, she'd only been a time bomb - waiting to blow up.

"Alisa did?" You mutter, your lips drying with fear, "I-I don't know what to say. Yunho, I- I can't believe Alisa would do this."

"I didn't either. But both of them have admitted to it. The police took them. I'm so sorry, y/n. " Yunho rubs his tears away, "I talked to your granny and parents. They said you could move back in with them. The divorce will take about a year or so to get finalized but you don't have to stay here till then. You can go back home whenever you want."

Your heart crushes in your chest. The fear of abandonment Yunho carries within himself yet he has the guts to let you go is something you would forever admire and hate in him. How could he think this way, especially after you've reassured him countless number of times that you're here to stay.

"I didn't agree to a divorce. What the fuck are you even cooking up in that mind of yours?" You say, stern and angry.

He looks up at you, his guilty eyes making the pain in your chest more painful.

"Y/n, please, you cannot stay with -"

"Shut up. Just shut up. I don't care. I don't care what you think. I am an adult and the crown princess of this kingdom and I will do as I please. " you almost yell, "I am staying here, with you, for better or worse. I told you I wouldn't leave. "

Yunho bursts into tears, wrapping his arms gently around you, hiding his face in the crook of your neck as you gently pat his back, reassuring him that you'd always stay. No matter what.

"Y-you might get hurt again, y/n. I don't want you to stay and get hurt again." But his tight hold on your body tells you otherwise.

"We're both in danger for the rest of our lives. Does that mean we stop living?" You whisper, pulling away from the embrace only to grab his chin, "Does that mean we stop loving?"

He shakes his head as his lips curve down and a shaky sob escapes his mouth, "Nothing will ever happen to you again, I swear. I will keep you safe. You will not have a reason to complain again."

You nod, dabbing his tears away with your thumb, "I know. I believe you. "

You stare into his eyes - his beautiful eyes made of the finest stardust that make your brain go hazy every morning that you wake up and find them right beside you. And that's exactly how you choose to wake up every morning till the end of your days.

"Is this the part where we kiss or what, because I've waited a long time -" he cuts your blabbering off by finally placing his plump, peachy lips on yours ever so tenderly.

He steals all the air from lungs, driving you breathless and crazy with every movement of his lips on yours and the gentle touch of his fingers on your face only adds to the unbounded euphoria you feel at the moment. He's beautiful. Even with your eyes closed, you know that he is beautiful. And not just with his face, he is a beautiful man inside out. He is yours and nothing in this world can ever change that. So when he pulls away, panting and out of breath, and gently kisses your forehead, you say, "I love you, my prince."

These words. These damn words that he'd waited for months to hear, nights he spent dreaming about hearing them. And he has to mentally slap himself to make himself believe this all to be true.

Stealing a quick kiss from your lips again, he whispers, "I love you, too, my princess. "

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[pitviperofdoom]

so do you have any good tma/jonmartin fic recs because I need something to read while I wait for jon's moving castle and your swap au to update 👀

Oh hey, I haven’t done a proper fic rec list for TMA. So! Here goes.

First off, literally anything by @cirrus-grey. There’s a lot there, too varied for me to go into detail about, and it’s all fantastic, so just. Browse. I guarantee you’ll find lots of stuff to like. Special mentions go to Yesterday Is Here, a very lighthearted time travel fix-it fic, and A Matter of Diplomacy, a still-ongoing fantasy AU with Jon as a powerful Witch Lord and Martin as an inexperienced nobleman sent to ask him for aid in a coming war.

The Polish Fic by MadMaudlin. Not actually the title, but the title is in Polish and the fic heavily involves the Polish language so my discord friends and I call it the Polish Fic. We love it. Whenever we need to feel joy for whatever reason we’ll link it in the fic-recs thread again just to remind each other it exists. As far as I can tell it was written between Season 3 and 4, and that’s reflected in the character interactions, but all in all it’s very sweet. Complete.

Hold Tight, Fear Not, and We’ll See Through This Night by @ostentenacity. A Season 5 AU fic, largely written before Season 5 started airing. An apocalypse fic with a very hopeful ending and a surprising amount of soft moments in between all the horror. Complete.

The Reverb in These Holy Halls by @wolftraps. Another excellent time travel fix-it fic. The Archives gets a cat, the Web is actually pretty helpful, and everyone gets the Found Family storyline they deserve. Includes some fantastic supplemental stories, too. Complete.

Family, Found by Dribbledscribbles. Basically the most cathartic fic I’ve ever read, for no other reason than everyone in S4 is confronted with just how cruel and unfair they’re being to Jon, and reconciliations are had by all. Helen is the MVP while still being Helen. Complete.

fell in your opinion when i fell in love with you by Athina_Blaine. Just read this one today and it hurt me and then healed me. Season 1 era JonMartin, can’t tell if spooks are real or it’s a no-spook AU but it’s not that important I guess. Complete.

dustsceawung by @callmearcturus. Everyone and their grandma has recced this one but I guess I’ll hop on the bandwagon and say that it’s a fantastic fic, urban fantasy with a fae twist, featuring fae!Jon and kindhearted-but-clever mortal Martin. Still ongoing.

Illicio and the Two Sugars-verse by @that-one-girl-behind-you. I know you specified Jonmartin but listen, I love Jongerrymartin a lot and I’m going to make that everyone else’s problem. Two Sugars is a full no-spooky AU, and Illicio is an AU in which Gerard Keay is brought back to life by the Beholding and proceeds to bum-rush the Season 4 Archives armed with nothing but emotional intelligence and ink where his blood should be. Both still ongoing.

There Are Monsters In These Woods by DoilySpider. Another fantasy AU, this one more based in dark (and I do mean DARK) fairy tales. It starts off somewhat Beauty-and-the-Beast flavored but quickly takes on a life of its own. Jonmartin is central but the author promises poly romances in the future. Word of warning: this fic is guaranteed to make you want to wrap Jon in blankets with one hand and tear Jonah Magnus limb from limb with the other. Still ongoing.

The Timeline of Theseus by Applea. Sort of a time travel fix it au, complicated by the fact that Jon got slingshotted so far back that he’s a child again, with his memories of the future apocalypse suppressed. But he’s still a fully realized Archive which catches Elias’s attention, and let me tell you Elias is hilariously unprepared to deal with an avatar child, much less an avatar child who is also Jonathan Sims at the age of eight. Do you want to see Elias repeatedly but also realistically dunked on by a third-grader? Read this fic. Still ongoing.

where there’s a will, we make a way by @bubonickitten. Time travel fix it au! Are you sensing a trend yet? After Martin’s unspecified death in the fearpocalypse, Jon finds a way to go back in time through the rift at Hill Top Road, but only makes it as far back as his coma. There’s not much more to say about it since it only started recently, but I’m very excited to see where this one goes.

thresholds also by @bubonickitten, two fics taking place in Season 3-ish. Basically Elias forces Jon to Know exactly what Mr. Spider did to his childhood bully, and Jon does not take it well. First fic is all hurt, second is more comfort when Martin helps him out of a panic and Jon opens up about his childhood encounter. Complete.

nor any more youth or age than there is now by Ravenesta. A gentle teacher!Jon fic, post-159, no apocalypse. Complete.

carry it with you if you want to survive by freudiancascade. Season 3 Jon&Gerry ghost friendship Pacific Northwest book-hunting ace buddy roadtrip. If that seems like a lot of concepts to pile into one fic, well, Jongerry friendship is fertile territory. This one’s beautifully written and hurt me in the best way possible. No clue if the author plans on continuing it, but I don’t mind too much because the single whopping 14k chapter feels complete on its own.

#the magnus archives #tma #tma fic #fic recs #zannolin