#but I wanted to get it out

[redhedwitch]

I read this post about Steve being HOH and it hit really close to home — So, here’s Eddie playing for HOH Steve, who likes to keep his hand on the amp because it helps to feel the sound.

The post honestly made me cry, because it’s extremely similar to how I found out I was half-deaf as an adult after years of no one really believing me something was wrong, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.

#red art #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #it’s like. I’m not totally happy with this doodle #but I wanted to get it out

[crybaby-bkg]

“We have to have a baby, like right now. Like, yesterday.” You blurt out as you suddenly burst into Kirishima’s room. He’s laying on his bed, clad only in tight sweatpants and socked feet, one thick arm behind his head, the other holding up a phone that looks comically small in his grip. His eyebrows furrow at your proclaim, and he’s instantly shutting off his phone and sitting up in bed as he reaches out for you.

“Huh? Now?” Kiri asks, pure confusion on his face as he sits on the side of the bed to let you stand between thick thighs. “I mean, I love the baby making process and all, but why so sudden?”

He rubs at your thighs from your stand, grinning, as he thinks about the different positions he’s been putting you in lately. You bat at his chest, chuckling, before you crawl into his lap and wrap your arms tight around his neck.

“I just saw a cute video of a baby giggling, and I’m ovulating, and started crying because it was so cute and I just started thinking about having our own baby and how cute they’d be and—“

“Slow down!” Kiri laughs at you, pulling you in tight and squeezing you against him. You can feel his laughter vibrating through his strong chest, and it calms your rapid heartbeat, makes you melt against the man you love most in the world.

“If you’re serious, we should talk about it more, but I mean, I’m down if you are. Baby giggles are the best.” Kiri whispers into your hair, smiling, thinking on a chunky little baby with black hair and red eyes and your smile and all those cute little rolls he knows he’s gonna have to powder down. He thinks it’s worth it to have one, especially if they’re gonna be a product of you two.

#this is so b*d #but I wanted to get it out #I have a terrible fukin headache and I’m worried bc my Dr was like #bitch these bad headaches this often is NOT normal get it checked out #but going to the Dr multiple times for different issues in less than three months is so embarrassing #what if I just *** what then #anyway #I wanna knock him up so bad #—new treat in the streets! 🍫 #Kirishima treats! 🍬

[theblob1958]

people are saying do it scared, but you also gotta do it alone. you'll miss out on so much you want to do if you wait til someone will do it with you. do it scared and do it alone.

#missed out on a whole year I could have skated at my local roller rink because I didn't want to go alone #and now it's closed and I won't ever get that year back. sometimes you gotta do it alone if you want to do something

[nemkero]

rewatching atla after like 10 years and zuko is so insanely pitiful

#i want to dunk him in water #and wring him out like a towel #zuko... zuko you are so lame... #zukooo.... zukoooooo.... #(he is so me) #get off of my SCREEN #will def draw more atla btw #learning how to draw the gaang rn #atla #avatar the last airbender #avatar #zuko #atla zuko #atla fanart #atla art

[sunglassesmish]

no judgements at all here. i was thinking about the possibility of moving out and wanted to know what age other people did

#i don’t know a lot of what i want in the future but i do know i want to at least get my driver’s license and have my own place #hopefully in the next few years after university #in my family it’s typical to get married and then move out but i’m not sure if i ever will so i want to at least live by myself

[variksel]

i hate you ai art i hate you "unalive" i hate you youtube premium i hate you twitter 8$ checkmark i hate you nfts i hate you therapy app advertisements i hate you non-chronological timelines i hate you instagram reels i hate you subtle tiktok filters that cant be turned off i hate you family bloggers i hate you ads on true crime episodes i hate you facebook i hate you vr glasses on chickens i hate you dystopian social media

#sorry but genuinely sometimes i feel like we live in a fucking dystopia #i get ads of chat bots designed to look like cute girls who will listen to your problems and it. god #its so unbelievably strange in some indescribable way #how am i supposed to explain that the word unalive makes me want to tear my hair out #vent #rant #idk

[laughingcatwrites]

As a reminder that good exists out there, a coworker recently confessed to me that he found out his child is questioning their identity (kid's gender redacted for this post). The kid is keeping it from him, so he can't say anything to them or show that he knows, but he's doing his best to get mentally prepared and educated so that he'll be ready whenever his kid does feel comfortable enough come to him.

For context, this guy is a big, bulky middle aged dude who loves sports and typical outdoor "manly" activities. As his coworker and friend, I know he's a kind and sweet teddy bear of a person, but his kid probably views him as a stern, authoritarian figure, the way most teenagers view their parents. His family lives in a conservative area, so I'm sure between that, their dad's looks and interests, and the fact that their dad is a Figure of Authority, the kid is worried that they won't be accepted.

But you know what? When he found out about his kid, the first thing he did was reach out to his closest queer friend and ask for resources for parents of questioning children. His biggest fears are that his kid will be bullied or discriminated against and won't feel comfortable enough to be themself. His second action was to find himself a mentor in another parent who went the same situation (kid coming out in a conservative town). The other person is preparing him for some of the struggles his kid may face and the fights he may need to take on as a parent to make sure his kid is safe and treated well.

Something I want to emphasize for people focused on language as the primary method of allyship is that when we spoke, he used some outdated terms and thoughts about gender and sexuality. That does not make him bad. These were the terms and thinking used about questioning teenagers when he was growing up and he never needed to learn more current ones. But now that he does have that need, he's throwing himself in head first because that's his kid and he's darn well going to make sure that his kid feels welcomed and has a safe place to be themselves even if they never come out to him.

#I'm so proud and happy for my coworker and I've been trying to figure out how to let him know how amazing I think he is #what gets me the most is that he's keeping this super down low to avoid giving any hints to his kid #he has a lot of queer friends so he already is known as an ally but there's always a chance it will be different if it's family #and he took that chance and crumpled it up into a ball and slam dunked it into the garbage for three points #and decided that even if his kid wants to hide it from him for the rest of his life he will still do what he can to make their life better #pflag #parents doing their best #parenting win #good news #allyship

[blinkpen]

(i Will go back to everlasting haitus if that GFM slows down too much btw, seeing it to its goal ASAP is my primary focus right now)

#i don't want to move the goalposts but i don't want donations to slow to a crawl just bc they are Halfway there #they obviously do still need to get ALL the way there to get the whole family out + get medical care they need #and they need it -quickly- and i -know- we -can- but it requires people besides me! #please help me help them

[michameinmicha]

Do you ever miss a character from a show but not like in the way that you want to rewatch the whole show because theres so much stuff going on and thats not what youre looking for but you miss your boy

#this is about jesse from breaking bad #i miss him :( #but i dont want to rewatch the show cause theres do much bad shit hapening to him #i want to watch another show where he gets to just hang out and chill #mine #breaking bad

[petscoboba]

I want Toby Fox three years after the last chapter to make a game where it's just the Fun Gang going on a road trip to the east coast to go fishing. They raid a gas station on the way to grabs snacks for the road (and the lobsters they catch). Happy April Fool's.

#deltarune #susie deltarune #noelle deltarune #noelle holiday #kris dreemurr #fishing momence #I have one more page I wanted to draw for this little idea #but i'll have to get to it at a later date when i've got more energy #in reality this idea started as a way for me to draw kris happy after highschool #i relate to kris' lethargy a lot-- so i wanted to see them still trying to make the most of it despite their depressive nature #(perhaps if kris can find a way out maybe i can too?) #it's hard. it's really hard when you feel like you've got really nothing to look towards to #but i hope they can find meaning anyways. i hope they smile one day and i hope it's a real one #pssstt! chronologically this post takes place after another comic i have planned in the midst. it'll take 10 years to complete but one day. #that comic. will not be a happy one #heeeheehoohoo

[snarkspawn]

the devil you know

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 fanart #bg3 raphael #stuff and things #userpharawee #yeah I know everyone and their mum has already done something like this #with the shadow and the exact caption and all lmao I *know* ok #I just. wanted to do it too #and I've had it in my head for months it needed to get out #anyway. moving on!

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

woke up and someone spilled vanilla extract all over my dash, so as punishment you strange little beasties are getting all the VANILLA FACTS i know:

vanilla is the 2nd most expensive spice in the world (2nd to saffron)

which is why more than 99% of what we call "vanilla extract" is actually vanillin (vanilla's dominant flavor compound) and is not extracted from real vanilla.

luckily, even professionals struggle to tell the difference when it comes to things like baked goods. but there is a distinct difference in non-heat treated products like vanilla ice cream. real vanilla has a more complex, individualized flavor profile.

why is vanilla so expensive? because it is a ridiculously delicate & demanding crop. complete primadonna.

vanilla beans come from vanilla orchids. these crazy flowers bloom for A SINGLE DAY and have to be HAND-POLLINATED in a process that is exhausting, delicate, and requires specialist knowledge passed down over generations.

then, if you're lucky, you get vanilla beans.

which then require months of further specialized treatment.

the entire process takes about a year and can go wrong at any stage

vanilla has been cultivated for over 800 years (possibly much longer). the first known cultivators are the Totonac, an indigenous people of Mexico.

the Aztecs used it as a sweetener to balance out the bitter taste of cocoa. it was popular in a drink called xocolatl--the precursor to modern hot chocolate!

it is only pollinated by a very specific orchid bee!!!

which is why no fruit could be grown outside of Mexico until the 1800s

Edmond Albius, born into slavery, invented the pollination method we still use today--launching a global industry when he was just 12 years old.

today, the majority of the world's vanilla is grown in Madagascar

if you want real vanilla, read the labels carefully--it's harder to find than you think!

in conclusion, those tiny black specks you see in fancy vanilla ice cream? those are vanilla bean seeds! itty bitty orchid seeds!!! they are delicious and also a PRISSY BITCH!

(src)

#Vanilla Extract #i open the tumblr app and immediately my nostrils are invaded by the overwhelming stench of vanilla #also if you want real vanilla extract at a discount: check out stores like HomeGoods TJMaxx Marshalls etc #the foodstuffs section tends to have fancy nonperishables for much cheaper than upscale grocery stores #you can get things like saffron truffles fancy oils at surprising prices #still expensive but like. 50% cheaper #or just shoplift if that's your thing i won't tell you how to live your life #did i just spend an hour writing this? yes. why did i do that? i don't KNOW

[july-19th-club]

seriously have been thinking about this all night long. call me autistic but the fact that 90% of workplaces the point is not to get your work done and then be done doing it but to instead perform an elaborate social dance in which you find something to do even when you're done doing everything you need to do in order to show your fellow workers that you, too, are Working . because you are at Work . disgusting why cant we all agree that if there is no work immediately to be done. we just dont do anything

#i personally like to not be doing things constantly at all times. it stresses me out #i know there are ppl who thrive on cosntant activity #but me i like to chill out. #and the problem then becomes that i only ACTIVELY remember to do work and Find More Work To Do when im stressed #at the thought that others might want to see me working #if im ever relaxed i just dont look for stuff to do #catch 22 of modern work culture which permeates even ostensibly noncapitalist structures like public libraries #for instance: will it really kill anybody if the books get shelved by me now after a very busy day? #or shelved tomorrow morning by. well probably me since i'll be the one at the desk #not in the slightest #but it was work that wasnt being immediately done by me. therefore it was incorrect behavior #that i failed to identify because my instinct is to relax when not immediately presented with a Situation #this got me labeled as 'having no initiative' by my dad from a very early age #and even as an adult i still feel like im a child with no initiative

[inkskinned]

you're in the habit of denying yourself things.

if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.

but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?

what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.

and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.

you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.

so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.

it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.

sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.

oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.

#warm up #this isn't good #writeblr #this is complicated by the fact i can't stand up too long or i fuckken pass out and <3 hit my damn head <3 #but i did take a deep breath and buy myself the stupid rice cooker #and!!! a very cheap sushi kit!!! i have been wanting to try making sushi for literally YEARS #the kit was only like 15 dollars!!!! and i haven't purchased it bc?!!??!?!?!?!!? #..... i didn't get the mixer tho that felt. like a lot. like too much. #on my list is a kitchenaid. one day when i get a check and i have paid off my student debt #and medical debt #i will put that first little bit of cash #into a kitchenaid 5qt stand mixer (with attachments) #i really do just go into their refurbished section and stare lustily at each option #but yeah i feel guilty about the rice cooker even tho i know for a fact this damn thing is gonna be a lifesaver #oh shit also fuck i forgot to mention . poached eggs

[spicybeefu]

What if Pokemon & Animal crossing had a crossover game?! #5 Made in Blender, with ACNL assets.

#pokemon #animal crossing #cute #retro #blender #lowpoly #animation #dragonite #lunar new year #year of the dragon #I could have polished a little more but I wanted to get it out by today!

[uncanny-tranny]

I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.

I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:

Add "guilty pleasure" songs to playlists and actually listen to them (I have a ton of late 1990s-early 2000s music I listen to now proudly that I never listened to in the past out of shame)

Getting the décor item, bath set, bed spread, ect. in the patterns you like, even if it's "childish" (I got a dinosaur-themed wastebasket from the kids' décor section and I adore it)

Taking a new route to get to a place you go to often

Eat dessert first

Celebrate well, and often

Collect things that are "odd" or don't seem like an "acceptable" thing to collect (somebody on my "for you" page collects dandelion crayola crayons and it was so cool!!!!!!)

Incorporate one new piece in an outfit you wear frequently (e.g., a new chain, a necklace, ribbons, bracelets, ect.). Challenge yourself to add onto the outfits if you feel up for it.

Sing along to songs without worrying that you sound "good" or your intonation is completely accurate

Read a book from a genre you weren't allowed to read as a kid (comics, thrillers, mysteries, anything!)

Walk without having a specific destination or goal

Pick up a new craft without expecting yourself to master it or to ever be "good" enough. Get your hands messy.

I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.

#mental health #mental health support #positivity #if anybody has ideas of their own definitely include them! #i just think being stuck with this feeling that you don't have autonomy and that you ultimately aren't an equal person or a person at all.. #...in comparison to other people can be a really troubling and dangerous place to be in... #...and that isn't the person's fault for feeling that way. they didn't pluck those thoughts out of thin air... #...like i have felt that exact way all my LIFE because i have been abused for. probably 2/3s of my life... #...only within these past few years have i even FELT alive. frankly it's going to take a while to repair what i have been left with... #...so i know the feeling and i want to help others feel even a LITTLE bit alive. you deserve it... #...you deserve to take in a deep breath before slowly realizing 'oh my gd this is what it feels like to be alive' and SMILE about it #i want that for you even if it is brief. even if it is small. even if it is a whisper. i want you to feel alive #unironically getting rid of the idea of 'guilty pleasures' has made my life SO much better