#but I want to go home so badly

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

haha just kidding, nothing is free!

100 bucks. fork it over.

#the drowning is metaphorical. #Its A Metaphor. #lovingly kissing his forehead and then dropkicking him into a volcano <3 #on my hands and knees Please let things go so so badly for him #Please break him i want to hear him in utter emotional agony god Please- #crack that comedy mask pleaaassseeeee take a sledgehammer to it- #Sorry. Sorry. normal. im normal about him #the cuteness aggression is jumping tf out rn #well. is it Cuteness aggression? i mean he Is very cute but hm... affection aggression... #what can i say i want to see my favs put through agonies and horrors #its like the best character advice i ever did see! characters are like geodes! ya gotta break em to see whats inside... #AND BABEY! I WANT THAT FUNNYGUY SHATTERED! #scribble garnish #barnaby b beagle #welcome home #welcome home puppet show #scopophobia #as always im not the Happiest with what ive made but!! i dont Dislike it so thats something! #it was... fun. ish #it was fun until i started doing the text <3 #i was practicing a more uhhh shrimplified style yk. more slapdash #and i blinked and then this was on my screen! #im not upset about it :]c

[turtleblogatlast]

Something I like about Leo is that he’s honestly really chill? It’s easy to remember the moments where he’s being obnoxious or excitable but I feel like most of the time he’s incredibly “go with the flow” and has an overall affable demeanor.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #rise leo #Genuinely speaking I feel like said demeanor is incredibly useful for when he has to charm and/or persuade people into listening to him #I have a whole post talking about Leo’s charm and how he consistently gets people to hear him out even if he’s annoyed or upset them #like they’ll still listen to what he has to say in full #his charisma stat is real and utilized quite often in this series I swear he’s not just a loser cringeboy all the time 😭 #if he wants to persuade and/or charm then he honestly sooo often does #me listing the 400th reason why Leo grows up to be the worlds best ninja and a good 365 of those reasons are Leo’s various subterfuge skill #Like most episodes where he’s not the main focus (and even many where he is) #he’s a voice of reason who notices things quickly and is often the one taking point to talk down situations #something interesting I found between Leo and Mikey is that #Mikey tells people what they need to hear #Leo tells people what they want to hear #not only out of his own agenda either #when bullhop was wrecking their home leo was the one that negotiated to make the situation go smoother #even if he would have rather bullhop left #meanwhile Mikey is the one who bluntly tells things as it is #small character moment that means a lot to me #Mikey is an honest boy who is upfront about his feelings #Leo prefers to let people make their own decisions he wants them to through steering the convo in that direction #but he is easily cowed by guilt #regardless leo is a people person - he knows how to talk to them and how to manipulate/persuade #and I like that his bros know this and often push him forward to do the talking if they wanna charm someone into doing what they want #I think Leo’s hope speeches are also an example of this - he’s saying what people really want to hear (and often it’s ALSO what they NEED) #the further the series goes on the higher Leo’s inner stress rises and he just keeps that chill aura anyway #there’s a reason!!! he wanted to go to a SPA so badly!! #literally the first thing he does when he gets in is rest #no joke meditation would do him good? like- it’s a Leo thing and I genuinely think rise leo would be no different here

[idk-bruh-20]

Irondad fic ideas #134

Fic where everything in the current MCU has happened

...for Peter.

In fact, Mysterio captured Peter right after Endgame. Everything that happened since -- Europe, his identity, May -- has been an illusion.

Mysterio even altered Peter's memory of the battle against Thanos to torture him. He doesn't remember the rush to get Tony to a hospital. He doesn't remember being kidnapped. He believes Tony died on the battlefield

Which is why, when he's suddenly in a cell and Iron Man bursts in, frantic and alive, Peter has a hard time telling what's real.

#irondad fic ideas #peter parker #tony stark #irondad and spiderson #iron dad and spider son #nwh fix it #whole mcu fix it tbh #why was it badly written? because MYSTERIO wrote it #no wonder there's so much peter whump #solved it! #we're good everybody! the mystery has been solved! #let's all go home now #especially peter parker #queueueueue #weekly reminder that i love you all but am too busy to be human :) #fic ideas still postponed but you can send asks if you want i just won't see them for a while #see announcements

[pinkmirth]

HIS WALK HIS VOICE HIS EVERYTHINGGG!

#i still haven’t gotten over this episode like . . . all those chousou scenes literally PLAGUE me #i want him so badly im not playing #i wanna **** him so good that his ponytails come loose #chousou papa come home your wife misses youuuu #i could say a thousand nasty things about this man right now but it would go against community guidelines #❥ — rambles! #❥ — chousou! #— (jjk!) #choso kamo #choso #chousou

[biblicalhorror]

Aroace Riz real but also Fabian is SO clearly in love with him and Riz has no idea

#honestly fabian might not even fully know yet #a core part of fabians character is that he is so deeply afraid of rejection that he is never going to pursue the people he actually wants #i do think he likes Maezy a lot but i think he only knows how to pursue hot toxic women that will discard him at a moments notice #which in a way protects him from ever actually dealing with heartbreak #is he a gay man dealing with comphet? ehh maybe #i could see that #but I think the vibe i get is more about how he has these platonic friends he completely adores and is fully devoted to #and then in another category he has the people that he does not have any actual attachment to that he will allow himself to pursue #and crossing the boundaries in between those two categories or allowing himself to pursue someone he really cares for #would require a level of vulnerability he is in no way prepared for #in his home life he has an emotionally detached mother who is well liked but kind of floats through interactions on a surface level #and a father who is extremely concerned with fame and glory and attention but doesnt seem to have ever stopped moving in his life #genuinely fabian does not know what a safe loving partnership would look like #and we see him constantly oscillating between emulating his mother and his father in relationships #but just beneath the surface is a little boy who wants so badly to cling to his loved ones so tight and be squeezed right back #with no way of knowing how to even ask for that if he wanted #and riz is his best friend in the world and he knows on some level that riz is simply not interested in having that kind of relationship #not on the level fabian needs #but that also makes riz a safe target for these feelings of devotion #theyre just friends! just besties! fabian never has to reckon with his own loneliness or harmful patterns #if he channels all of his yearning for closeness onto his best friend #anyway! this boy needs therapy #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #fabriz

[luck-of-the-drawings]

smth smth about 'the thing that the character did that you thought was rly rly funny in the moment is actually linked to a terrible trauma that lies within said character.' or wahtever.

#jrwi show #jrwi fanart #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #made this within a short span of wahtever bc i gotta go up to the mountains for my stupid gay job tonight n im trying #nnot to frrRREAAAK THE FUCK OUUTTTTTTi dont wanna work but. get that bread we fuckin shall i guess #ONWARDS TO THE FISH TORMENT!! sometimes flowers feel pain when you trim them before their blossoming. atleast i imagine so #i used to draw gillion with loooong hair tied into a big ol braid. and then it was confirmed that he had short hair when he was little. #AT FIRST I WAS SAD. but then i realized the duality of. when they were little. gill had short hair. edyn had long hair. #AND NOW THEYRE OLDER. and gillion has long hair. and edyn has short hair #both mirroring eachother. looking up to eachother. subconsciously or not. they most certainly care. and most certainly miss eachother. #GILLION ALWAYS LOVED HOW LONG HAIR LOOKs. atleast i imagine so. he hasnt cut it since he left the undersea. sure he wanted to go back home #but even at the very start. he knew he was free in some way now. free to grow out his hair. an adventure would await him before he returns. #he knew it would be a while. so he cant let this go. he cant let this sought-after hair-length get cut away from him again #not yet. not yet. i like to think he loved music too. I SAW SOMETHING INTERESTING A BIT AGO #i see alot of ppl commenting on my baby gill comics like;'i wouldFIGHT this teacher i wanna KILL EM i want them DESTROYED #all very good and nice sentiments! i LOVE the energy here! and it would be nice. to have that catharsis #but the story of young tidestrider is not a story of catharsis. it is a story of agony and being so so small and so special and also so dum #and sucking so bad. and just being a kid and doing the things that a little kid does and so many tired tired people reacting badly to it #youre supposed to be the hero that will save us. our world hangs in the balance and you are the one who tips the scales. #YOU are supposed to SAVE US!! you NEED to SAVE US! CAN YOU PLEASE STOP SQUIRMING IN YOUR STUPID CHAIR!! #you'd think that young tidestrider ought to prevail. and be tucked someplace all safe and sound. #elders gone missing and rotting in a jail. their cultists nowhere around. but theres no happy endings. not here not now. #this tale is all sorrows n woes. you may dream that justice n peace win the day. but thats not how this story goes #BIG ideas for this lil baby gillion series. if anything i make ever gets disproven im killing myself in a well as to poison a water supply

[tj-crochets]

Hey y'all! It's weird question time again! So that doctor I mentioned before that I wanted to make a dog plushie for because he has improved my quality of life so much* (and also inexplicably reminds me of like a greyhound or a borzoi) is my endocrinologist And, as my endocrinologist, he recommended back in December that I go see a rheumatologist, because he thinks I might have rheumatoid arthritis**. The staff at his office have been trying to get a rheumatologist for four months now. I know that, because yesterday I got a call from the rheumatologist's office and the nurse I spoke to said "Your doctor's office has been very...persistent about getting you this appointment" So now I kinda want to get something for the whole office? But idk what I could get them or make them. Like, in non-medical contexts I'd make cookies or brownies for a group, but I can't bring cookies to a doctor's office. I mean, I guess I could, but if I were them I would definitely not eat them, and I run the risk of allergy-ing a fellow patient. Is there like a gift basket or gift card or thank you card or something you can recommend?

*I mean he maybe should have found a diagnosis before offering me steroids about it but the low dose steroids have made such a HUGE difference in my quality of life I am thrilled with Tennessee's weird (to me, with my experience in California) medical practices **I don't think I have enough joint pain for it to be rheumatoid arthritis, but he's like the fourth doctor to tell me it's weird that when I got hives they usually started on joints, so maybe I'm wrong? I have the weird version of enough medical things that at this point I would not be surprised if I had Weird Rheumatoid Arthritis.

#the person behind the yarn #I want to show my appreciation to these people! #but in a not-super-weird way #because they are my doctors and I want them to think I am a normal human who is rational #so they continue to treat me well. because I am a little paranoid about that with doctors #because of That One Guy at the local urgent care back in socal #who decided one day I had anxiety instead of. you know. allergies. #and he saw me before the allergies got super bad when it was just moderate hives and gave me anxiety meds about it #and then like a year later I was in the beginning stages of a severe allergic reaction #which I knew by then was going badly so I went to the urgent care (like my doctor told me to!) to get steroids for it #and the same guy gave me anxiety meds again and sent me home #I had to go back the next day to get steroids #and the second doc took one look at me and like left the room to go set up a steroid shot #I was COVERED in hives #anyway it both makes me appreciate good doctors #and makes me want to try very hard to make them think I am Not Anxious #something both normal to want and possible to achieve lol

[agentark]

whatever you do, don't imagine a young J Corvin waiting every day at the end of their drive, hoping today is the day the mail carrier finally brings a letter from their very best friend

#i'm personally about to start sobbing #how many letters do they try sending #how long does that sweet gentle soul wait - I actually don't want to know #little too close to home frankly lmao #grandpa i don't CARE that something evil lives in fernweh and wants to eat me or control me or whatever - that's my bestie!! #I just did James's route and this part hurt so much worse #fernweh saga #like J is SO scared to ask MC if they can write this time & they're trying to be SO supportive-- #--of the fact that the last time they tried MC was going through an incredibly difficult time in their life #but that doesn't mean it didn't hurt so badly #and like it's obviously not MC's fault bc they never even got the letters in the first place #but now I want to cry thinking about how my MC hugs James at the police station when they meet again and how he's probably like ??? #my MC missed him and James is like 'weird reaction for someone who couldn't be bothered to write back' #'and shattered my little fifteen year old heart into pieces' #i'm making wild assumptions about the inner workings of J's mind here but anyway #j corvin #all i'm saying is if my best friend was ripped out of my life and I tried writing them I would be religiously checking the mailbox #probably far longer than I should but still trying to hold out hope

[theloveinc]

Being a housewife but not really knowing what the hell you’re doing, you had to get married early because your husband is a BigWig(?) with sponserbilities to take care of… but you’re also sort of neglected by him because he’s So Busy trying to Make It Big…

And you somehow end up neighbors with Bakugo, who, two seconds into meeting you decides that he literally can’t be mean to you: looking a right mess with a naked baby on your hip and messy hair 24/7… but still always offering him the bentos your husband doesn’t take to work and inviting him in for tea…

#Bakugo #I just have this image of him sitting in your kitchen next to a baby in a high chair who’s going all gooey eyed at him #and he’s kinda like… out of his element but you’re being so welcoming asking abt his job saying oh no when he tells you it’s rough #and he loves his friends but they’re heroes too and can’t offer much comfort #but there you are in mom sweats with a husband who’s never home and he’s feeling like..: he’s gotta protect you??? #and it’s a romance of him freeing you from being tied at home w/ a husband like the pig from sing #and you freeing him of constantly being in fight or flight response #because you won’t take no for an answer when it comes to feeding him and caring for him #creepy element of ‘do I love u because ur like the mom I never had?’ #but I imagine this being on the more happy / normal side LMFAOOO #and ofc u have a big. huge. rock on your finger that Bakugo HATES and wants to replace so badly #anyway #shii posts #gen

[lobotomyladylives]

I think bpd is a bullshit stigmatizing label thrown at women to pathologize what is very obviously a response to prolonged childhood trauma and would be better labeled as C-PTSD. that being said my god I am bpd as fuck

#my sister just snapped at me bc i said i dont want to do a ton of physical labor for the job she signed me up for which apparently does i #in fact involve a lot of it. and her being mad for even that moment sent me spiraling so badly & i had the reaction i often do where #i start hating both her & myself terribly & want to isolate forever #i think she hates her new job & is taking it out on me but it doesnt matter bc i cant handle being yelled at #and the fact thst it took me till adulthood to realize thats bc i associate it with my father is crazy. yeah its just the cptsd like #everything else. and whats nutso is how i continue to think my trauma Wasnt Bad Enough for ptsd . #just bc he didnt beat the shit out of or molest me i feel like i dont even have a right to be this fucked up #not that it was only him. being bullied at school really did not help. i guess now that i think about it the problem is that until #i was a teenager i literally did not feel emotionally secure anywhere. home or school. always the ticking of a bomb in the bg #the inevitable moment my dad blew up over nothing or i overheard my peers talking about what a freak i was #i dont know why it still hurts to think about. im so far removed from it my life now couldnt be more different #well thats the stupid fucking thing about childhood isnt it. those are your very first experiences with the world & other ppl #i do know my view of romantic relationships was irrevocably poisoned by my parents & that is never going to be undone. so cool

[cookinguptales]

so I got myself a little something special for christmas, but I was under the weather for a while so I'm only now using it for the first time.

A present from the Pikachu Sweets Cafe in Ikebukuro? What could it be?

It's Sinistea and Polteageist!!! My absolute favorite new-gen pokemon. ;;

I bought some butterfly pea flower tea, too. I hear this stuff turns purple when you add lemon. Let's see...

omg that actually worked way better than expected

I love him 💜

lil baby ghost 💜💜💜 👻☕🫖 💜💜💜

#pokemon #just me #you may be thinking 'wow she must have gotten these while she was in japan' #NO I really wanted to and I did go to the pokemon centers in kyoto and osaka #but we didn't have time to go to ikebukuro #but I knew these were there and I wanted them so badly #so when I realized I'd be home alone for xmas this year I decided to treat myself and just buy them on ebay #honestly the markup wasn't that bad considering I didn't have to worry about getting them home #and I am actually just as happy with them as I thought I'd be lmao #that said this tea tastes like ass I hate lemon tea #I'm gonna make some hojicha instead

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

hold on i need to get a thought and emotions out. so with Welcome Home, there seems to be a before and an after. obviously, we're in the after. the website is the after. and if it turns out that the story we see, the one where shit hits the fan and the show is practically erased, then... that already happened. whatever horrors we see, we'll know that there is no saving them. there is no happy ending - it happened, and it's tragic. the show is doomed to end and be scrubbed away. if any of the characters are revealed to be dead/gone by the website, then when/if we see them at an earlier point, we'll Know

and there's a special kind of dread and horror in that for us, the audience.

#im not articulating this the way i want to... #it's like going to see a tragic play. like romeo and juliet for instance. #we go into it knowing the end. they die. no matter what they die. every step they take leads to That End #every happy moment is undercut by the knowledge that it won't last #thinking about this makes me think that at some point learning more about the story/characters is gonna feel like digging up a grave #AGH I LOVE IT THOUGH I LOVE IT. IT HURTS SO MUCH BUT I LOVE IT #its a special feeling of dread/nostalgia/bittersweetness/resignation #and that is sensation in the chest that doesnt feel good but it also does somehow? it hurts but just enough to not be unbearable? #welcome home #welcome home speculation #welcome home puppet show #man i am so so so so scared for the puppets lmfao #i have some theories on the ways shit might go down. like little things. souring relationships and such #i also have a feeling that the story is really gonna hit home (ha) for me in Big Ways #like as soon as i saw clown say that it's kinda about 'when does a home become a house' and stuff #OOF. YIKES. WHEN DOES IT INDEED. i mean i know. ive lived it. im Living it. #this is gonna get unintentionally personal Real Fast in Several Fun And Festive Ways for me huh #i wonder if the story is gonna be uncovered linearly or not... #chewing on it chewing on it chewing on it #i can't wait to Understand the world/characters so that i can write fanfic. i want to so badly. i want to Explore #i want to hop into that grave and keep digging

[bengallemon]

top 10 images that make me go insane

#lemon time #isat spoilers #in stars and time #god..... im going back through the image files. because im insane. #i am a bitch for subtle little details. the minor changes during the inn hug sequence and the door opening are fantastic #i am not exaggerating when i say this is probably the best game ive ever played. im insane about this. #now let me go feral over this one image in particular. they have LOST IT #i mean siffrin never had it in the first place. they lost it when they lost their home. but HERE. you can see it. #because hes done this already. hes been with his family already. he was loved. and now he is again. even at the literal ending of the world #he thinks he doesnt deserve to be helped. he wants someone to help him so badly it broke time. #theres still light in his eye when everyone reaches out for him in this moment. before he breaks fully. #despite everything hes happy that his family is seeing him. reaching out to him. trying to help him. in this moment he is loved.

[gideonisms]

See I think if I'd been born a guy I wouldn't be this pathologically avoidant trying to plan my career because there are plenty of situations you can find as a cis man where you just Do Tasks in awkward silence and you can get to those as a woman but you have to go through the rings of hell socializing first and then besides, a lot of those jobs already have so many men that you stand out when the whole point was you Don't want to do that

#you gotta be god's strongest soldier to survive this shit and i am not! i am god's weakest most pathetic soldier! #i survived five years of customer service crying weekly and getting harassed and being a baby about it #when i got promoted no one would listen to me and it made me constantly anxious and then so tired it took me a year to be able to #think about having a job as something remotely positive and stop crying about it #idk how other women are doing this shit a guy treats me like his sexy servant and i feel BAD and upset for years #and think of what he said 7 years later and they only touched me on the shoulder and made comments other people go through worse! #but i am not strong or determined i just want to go through my life in peace and stop talking to people altogether #it wasn't just guys who treated me badly older women made fun of me and called me lazy and stupid #tutoring was fine but i felt like i was putting on that same performance and at that point it all felt so awful i just. didn't want to #i can see no way out of talking to people for the rest of my life and it gets me down sometimes #i know i get to come home but even then i will probably need people to live with #i basically only like my family and close friends talking to me sometimes even that is hard #sometimes it's way easier to type and feels less awful #i think i have to just keep on keeping on until i can finally get good enough to freelance edit and code that's the only thing i can think #of doing that doesn't make me cry #emails are fine they suck but i don't have to control my face and tone so.

[danzsoldier]

sometimes I think about how Caine is canonically oblivious to the suffering that the humans trapped in the circus go through. Makes me wonder if he even understand the suffering if someone explained it to him because he’s just an AI, a robot with no soul and no understanding of how complex being human can be

#the amazing digital circus #hi tadc fandom as you can see I’m invested in how Caine is unaware of the suffering everyone goes through despite it being so obvious that- #Everyone wants to go home and to their human lives #does he understand why abstraction happens. He knows about it but does he know that the humans that have become abstracted have basically- #lost their minds because of the circus #and in the pilot he was making a fake exit for everyone and it makes me wonder a lot #the way he reacted when Pomni asked how to leave + him trying to make an exit but not finishing it becuz he supposedly didn’t know what- #to put on the other side on it. I kinda think he’s genuinely clueless on why everyone wants to leave so badly and just wants everyone to- #have fun at the circus but he’s a robot he doesn’t get it he’s confused but definitely trying his best to fulfill the constant request of- #an exit #Are you reading this? If you are. Hi. #How many tags does this have oh my god #anyways. Caine is canonically clueless on why everyone wants to go + oblivious to the pain. I think he’s genuinely unable to understand due #to being an AI but I could definitely be wrong since only the pilot is out so far #if I’m actually right then holy shit idk what I’ll do #danny speaks

[puppyeared]

for like 3 weeks i was wondering why i was sleeping so much and felt listless. and just now I managed to email 3 people and responded to a month old message in the span of an hour because I got back to TAKING MY FUCKIN MEDS..........

#MOTHER FFFFUCKER #to be fair. my doc said I could stop taking them while im on break since i wouldnt need to be constantly pumped on stimulants #im not sure if it was a side effect but i managed to take like 3 different naps in one day and STILL managed to sleep thru the whole night #at least 2 days into my break. the weird thing is i didnt feel more or less rested afterwards. but mentally i think im in a good place rn #to really put the level of awakeness im at rn i feel weirdly confident i could start one piece. also bc of that sick new opening it BANGS #the song is really good and im in love with the animation style. did some digging and it seems one of the lead animators is masato mori #but i could be wrong. it seems he also did some work on mp100 which could explain a lot lol.. he uses smear frames really well to convey #consistent movement and fluidity!!! someone else might have done color design but it works really really well esp with odas style!! #just love the overall vibe and aesthetic and id really love to study it and incorporate a bit of it into my art.. especially the thick #outlines which i think helps to separate characters and objects on screen. though i have to say the style is definitely more suited to #animation bc of the simpleness and smears. maybe that will help me explore shapes and perspective when i draw... i wanna get better #at drawing poses and angles but i have a hard time wrapping my head around space and using perspective guide lines NGHHHH #i wonder if it has to do with my dogshit ability to judge distance. not depth perception but like. judge how far smth is in metres etc #im also wearing an N95 for the first couple weeks back bc of the wave. absolutely NO BODY is wearing a mask its so fucking over #where im sitting ive heard 5 different people coughing probably not into their elbows!!! and im just. head in my fucking hands #there was a kid sitting a couple seats away in class coughing as he pleases and i wanted to grab him in a chokehold so badly. PLEASEE #ive been annoying my family by asking them to mask up and reminding them to bring masks when they go out and showing them news articles #but at least its working bc we ordered some KN95s and my mom is at least taking me seriously so. please dont be afraid to speak up abt your #health. take care of yourself and others however u can!! wear that mask indoors at your maskless friends house!!! stay home when u can!! #im wearing a surgical mask at home too bc my parents have '''a dry throat cough''' and they are so bad at coughing into their sleeves #also im pretty sure dry throat isnt transmissible bc my brother started coughing too so.. i also tested negative but they havent tested yet #im also not a doctor but i have to keep reminding ppl whenever i can that covid and flu work differently. covid is new and too recent to #have nearly as much research done on it. it seems its also compounding so instead of building immunity it weakens the body and spreads to #to other systems which might explain brain fog and muscle weakness. i remember someone early in the pandemic got infected and it messed up #their smell/taste receptors so bad that they cant eat most foods and that stays in the front of my mind when i think abt covid. christ #yapping