#but I really enjoyed making this fantasy heavy one I hope y’all like it too!
Éowyn Tames the Nazgûl
✨8 x 10” ✨
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whenever you need me | axel cluney
description: in which her desire for him blossoms into so much more than she could have anticipated
warnings: 18+, smut, slight anal play, overstimulation, daddy kink
notes: this is definitely an axel and rosie one shot (if you’re new and don’t know who rosie is, she’s one of my ocs). it was inspired by an ask that @hausofobsession sent in, which i answered but accidentally deleted and then decided to turn into a full blown one shot because i didn’t want to just let the idea disappear into cyber space. i hope y’all enjoy this smutty goodness because i had a grand old time writing it
She couldn’t take her eyes off him.
His shirt, crisp and white, fit over his broad shoulders in such a way that made it seem like it was almost too tight, but in the best way possible. The top few buttons were undone, exposing his bare chest underneath, and the jacket he wore over it completed the whole look.
Axel hated dressing up, but he looked damn good when he did, and Rosie was having a hard time containing herself.
“How do I look?” He asked, after he’d pulled the jacket on. He turned towards her, holding his arms out beside him to give her a full look.
She tried her best not to act like a love struck teenager, but he made it so difficult. “U-um, you look really, really good,” came her reply. Heat creeped up her chest, and between her legs.
Axel seemed oblivious to the desire blooming to life on her person. “You sure? Because I feel like a fucking idiot in this getup. Rex is for sure gonna bust my chops for this.”
Rosie stood from her perch on the bed, making her way towards him. “You don’t look like an idiot. You look beautiful,” she said with a soft smile.
At that, Axel couldn’t help but smile back. “Thanks, Rosie girl. You sure know how to make a guy feel good.”
She lingered, staring at his outfit, catching the ink of one of his chest tattoos peeking out of the unbuttoned part of his shirt. She swallowed, averting her gaze. In that moment, she wanted to jump him and fall into bed with him, but they had somewhere to be, and she had to put her desire in the backseat for the time being.
“You alright?” He asked.
She met his gaze. “Y-yes. Are you ready to go?” Her voice was an octave higher, and it made Axel raise a brow, but he didn’t push it.
“Yep. I’ll go start get the truck started. See you outside.” He left a kiss to her forehead before he sauntered out of the room, the scent of his cologne lingering.
It was going to be a long night, she realized. She had to spend hours staring at him looking like that before she could do anything about it. It was going to be absolute torture.
Nonetheless, she pulled herself together, grabbed her purse, and headed out the door. They were off to a friend’s wedding reception, and didn’t want to be late.
On the drive there, Axel let the radio play in the background as he talked to Rosie, the two sharing easy conversation that felt so natural. He held her hand in his as he drove, squeezing it occasionally.
Beside him, however, she was ready to spontaneously combust. She’d always found him driving to be sexy. The way he maneuvered the steering wheel with one hand, and drove with such confidence. It was a sight, and that paired with the outfit he was wearing? She was ashamed to say she’d already soaked through the soft lace underwear she was wearing.
“You ready?” Axel asked, after they’d finally arrived and he’d shut off the engine.
She shook herself out of her fantasy, and nodded. He was quick to hop out of the truck, rounding the front to open her door for her. “M’lady,” he said, holding his hand out for her to take.
“Thank you, kind sir,” she replied with a giggle, taking his hand and sliding out of the passenger seat.
With her hand in the crook of his elbow, the two headed into the small building, prepared to greet their friends. Just as Axel had expected, Rex made comments about his outfit.
“Well shit, Axel Cluney knows how to clean up nice? Who woulda thought?” His best friend teased as they hugged.
“I could say the same for you, look who changed out of his flannel shirt for once,” Axel shot back. “But the real star of the show here who puts both of us to shame is my girl. Doesn’t she look beautiful?” He motioned to Rosie, who was wearing a dusty pink dress with a sweetheart neckline. She looked like a princess.
“You look gorgeous, Rosie,” Rex said, leaning over to hug her. “But you always do, so that’s nothing new.”
She blushed at their compliments. “Oh, stop. You’re making me blush,” she told him.
Axel hooked an arm around her waist, kissing the top of her head. “Guess we should say hi to Matt and Jana,” he said, referring to the friends whose reception they were attending.
The night soon began, with food and plenty of alcohol, as well as good music. Axel was staying away from alcohol for the night, particularly because Rosie didn’t drink, and it was no fun if he was drunk by himself. Plus, he was finding that the older he got, the harder it was to bounce back from a night of heavy drinking.
However, that didn’t stop him from having a good time. Much to Rosie’s delight, and maybe even dismay, he took off his suit jacket and rolled his white sleeves up to his elbows, exposing his tattooed forearms, toned from the hard work he did everyday.
“Dance with me, babe,” he said to her, holding out a hand for her to take.
She complied, allowing him to lead her out to the dance floor. It was no secret that Axel wasn’t necessarily the best dancer, but Rosie had tried her best to teach him how to have some rhythm.
Tonight, though, something was different. Maybe it was her lust clouded brain, or maybe it was the sexy song that was playing. Whatever it was, he seemed so much more sensual, and the way he danced with her had undertones that were so suggestive it made her blush. It was nothing obscene, because he knew anything more than that would embarrass her, and he had no desire to do that.
But he did things that he knew would turn her on, subtle things that no one else would bat an eye at, but that she had a Pavlovian response to. By the way she’d been staring at him all night, he knew that she was needy. It was written all over her face, and in her body language. Now, he was doing all he could to fan that flame, because he knew that it would have her begging him to take her home soon enough.
“You alright, Rosie girl? You’re looking a little flushed,” he spoke into her ear, knowing full well what he was doing.
“I-I’m fine,” she squealed. She was trying so hard to keep her composure, but she was losing her resolve. He looked so good, he smelled so good, and he was so close, his body beat radiating against her.
“You sure? Because you don’t seem fine. Maybe you’re feeling feverish? Or maybe you’re feeling a little...wet?” Jackpot.
At that, her eyes met his, wide and full of need. “Please don’t tease me, daddy,” she whispered so only he could hear.
“Why not?” He asked with a grin. “I’m having so much fun.”
“I-I don’t think I can take it much longer. Can we please go home?” She pleaded, clutching his hands in her own.
She looked so pitiful that he couldn’t say no. “Okay. Let’s say goodbye and then we’ll get out of here.”
He whisked her around the room to bid their friends goodbye, and finally, they were heading outside. The moment they were in the quiet of the evening, just the two of them, she grabbed onto his arm.
“Oh daddy, I need you so bad. You’ve been driving me crazy all night,” she confessed, and he nodded, because he already knew.
“Let’s get you home, and then you can have whatever you want, baby cakes.” He hugged her close to his side, guiding her back to the truck, where he opened the door and let her slide in before he went around to his side.
The entire drive home, she was latched onto him, face buried in his neck, body pressed to his side. He relished in the contact, admiring how snuggly his precious girl was, and how needy she got for him. It made his chest swell with pride, because he knew he was the only one that had this affect on her.
She couldn’t even be embarrassed at how desperate she was, because she knew Axel loved it, and even encouraged it. She didn’t have to put up a front with him. If she needed him, all she had to do was tell him, and he would oblige her.
For Rosie, the drive home felt like an eternity, and when they finally pulled into the driveway, she was leaning up to seek out a kiss from Axel. He kissed her sweetly, cupping her cheek. “Let’s go,” he said, moving to climb out of the truck. She slid out after him, and he lifted her up, which prompted her to wrap her legs around his waist, clinging to him.
He carried her into the house, closing the door behind them with his foot. Axel reached up then, brushing her hair behind her ear as he gazed into her face. “Go upstairs and get undressed. Then wait on the bed for me, I’ll be right up,” he told her as he lowered her to the ground.
“Okay daddy,” she replied before she scurried off to their bedroom. He watched her go, and gave her some time to get situated before he finally ascended the stairs.
He found her seated on the edge of the bed, entirely bare for him. When he stepped into the room, her eyes lit up, but she didn’t move from her spot, not until he told her otherwise. He stood before her, still dressed in his dress shirt and slacks, sleeves rolled to his elbows.
She looked up at him expectantly, and he smiled down at her. “Such a good, obedient girl,” he praised, stroking her cheek softly. “You’ve been so patient tonight, and I’m so proud of you. I think that deserves a reward.”
He leaned down, kissing her slowly, languidly. His teeth caught her bottom lip, and he tugged gently, at which she whimpered. “Lay back for me, bunny. And spread those legs.”
She obeyed, lowering herself onto the mattress, and parting her thighs. Axel groaned at the sight of her glistening cunt on display, and put his hand forth to part her folds, sliding through the slickness. “You’re soaked, baby. I bet you’ve been dripping wet all night,” he mused.
“I-I have,” she peeped, shivering under his touch.
“Oh, well then it would be a shame to tease you anymore when you’re just so desperate for it.” He brushed his fingers over her clit, and she jolted, which made him grin. She was so sensitive, and this was going to be so easy.
Slowly, he dipped two fingers into her soaked core, crooking them upwards, which had her crying out in pleasure. She was so wet that the sound of it could be heard as he moved his fingers inside of her. But just as soon as he started, he slipped his hand away, and as she whined at the loss of contact, he dove forward, holding her legs apart as he slid his tongue over her, swirling it around her clit.
“Oh!” She gasped, hands shooting forth to grip his hair.
He smiled against her before he continued, slowly woking her over with is tongue. He left no part of her neglected. Eating her sweet pussy was his favorite thing to do. She was a juicy as a peach and just as tasty, too. He buried his face against her, using his fingers to aid in pleasuring her.
Above him, Rosie was a mess, body warm as pleasure began to buzz through her. And Axel, he wasn’t finished yet. With his mouth still against her, he let his hand creep further down, and he pressed his fingers against her back entrance, which had her jolting, a sharp gasp leaving her.
Anal play was new to her, and they’d only just started implementing it into their dynamic. But so far, she was quite enjoying it, and Axel was taking it as slow as possible so he wouldn’t hurt her.
“You okay, bunny?” He asked, checking in with her.
“Y-yes,” she squeaked, which made him smile. He dove back in, mouth at her pussy, fingers at her bottom. He even brought his other hand into the mix, slipping them into her cunt, and she was suddenly so full. The pleasure was unreal, and she found herself shaking like a leaf, entirely overwhelmed.
Axel was enjoying every minute of it, her moans and whimpers spurring him on. She was so good for him, and he was a little overzealous in his administrations, because she deserved to experience all the pleasure he could possibly give her.
He knew it wouldn’t take long to bring her to her end. She was so responsive to his touch, and he could have her falling apart in mere minutes. And soon enough, he heard her telltale whine.
“D-daddy,” she whimpered.
“Come for me, bunny. Come all over my fucking face,” he coaxed, quickening his administrations, devouring her with urgency.
She grew more vocal, her fingers tugging at his hair, her hips undulating beneath him. She could feel it, the fire of her release burning deep within her belly, threatening to engulf her. Everything was buzzing, from her toes to the top of her head.
Axel felt it too, the way she tightened around his fingers, the way her core went warm as blood rushed to the area, her release quickly approaching. He lapped at her eagerly, fingers repeatedly brushing against that spot within her that made her toes curl.
And then, without warning, she nearly catapulted off the bed, letting out a broken cry as she fell apart. Her orgasm washed over her like a tsunami, and it came forth like one too, spilling from her and soaking Axel’s face just as he’d so desperately wanted. He moaned, going at her like a ravenous beast in the wilderness.
As she came down, she pushed his face away, unable to take anymore stimulation. She fell limp against the bed, trying to catch her breath as Axel bit back a delighted laugh. He knew in this state, she would likely take his laughter as making fun of her, and he didn’t want to send her into a bad headspace.
He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, and when her eyes could finally focus, she looked down at him, entirely fucked out already. “Sweetest peach I ever did taste,” he mused, moving to kiss her, tongue delving into her mouth so that she could taste herself.
“Good girl,” he breathed once he pulled away. “So fucking good for me.”
She could feel him against her, the prominence of his arousal pressed against her thigh. At that, she whimpered, reaching down to slide her hand over him through his slacks. “Wanna take care of you, daddy,” she said.
“Don’t worry, baby. You can have me.” He kissed her again before he pulled back, rising to stand. She watched him unbutton his shirt, exposing his bare torso before he continued on to unbuckle his belt and discard his pants. His boxers were the last to go, and at the sight of his heavy arousal, she moaned, biting her lip as desire overwhelmed her.
Axel tapped her leg then, motioning for her to scoot further up onto the bed so he could join her. He nudged her legs further apart, and she could feel her tummy flutter with butterflies as she watched him wrap a hand around his cock, only to begin sliding it against her slick cunt.
Her body burned with need, and she found herself pawing at him, begging him to fuck her. She needed him inside her, and wasn’t sure she could wait another minute. When he noticed her growing fussy, he slipped his thumb into her mouth. “You’re okay, Rosie girl. Just be patient, daddy will give you everything you need,” Axel assured her.
He held her gaze as he began to push his hips into her, and inch by inch, he filled her. She pulled away from his thumb to let out a broken moan, squeezing her eyes shut at the feeling. It was utterly indescribable.
Axel glanced down to watch the way she stretched to accommodate him. “Oh, look how well this tight little pussy takes me,” he cooed, and she blushed.
She was so wet that it was easy for him to bottom out entirely, with hardly any resistance. He had to take a moment to gather his wits about him, almost overwhelmed when she clenched tightly around him. “F-fuck, bunny, you’re gonna make it hard for me to last.”
He ducked down to kiss her, and as he did so, she reached for his hand, intertwining their fingers. The action made his heart swell with love for her. Slowly, he began to move, rolling his hips into her and letting her adjust before he picked up the pace.
“Y-you’re so big, daddy,” she squeaked, knowing how much that phrase turned him on.
“Yeah? And you take it so well, bunny. Such a good girl.” He punctuated his words with a sudden thrust of his hips that had her eyes rolling back, back arching from the bed.
As she lay there, head thrown back in ecstasy, he admired her, taken with her beauty. He couldn’t believe he was given the privilege to see her this way, allowing herself to be vulnerable with him. He didn’t take it lightly, because he knew that he was the only person she’d ever trusted with her body, the only person who had ever been given the opportunity to pleasure her in the most intimate ways. She trusted him, and he cherished that trust, and would never betray it.
He was so lucky to be the one to hear her precious squeaks and moans, to witness the way her body responded to him as he took her to new heights. “Fuck, I love you,” he confessed to her, lowering himself so that his arms were on either side of her head, boxing her in.
She looked up at him with those beautiful eyes of hers, searching out his lips for a searing kiss. In that moment, what had started out as playful sex turned into so much more. It was an outpouring of Axel’s love for her, and she felt so safe and cherished in the haven of their bedroom, beneath the man she would love for the rest of her life.
She wrapped her legs around his waist, wanting him even closer, if at all possible. He trailed kisses along her neck and chest, leaving gentle love bites against the skin, which he soothed with his tongue. She felt so small beneath him, and it was sending her into the most wonderful headspace, so small and sweet, all for him.
The way she was gazing at him was ruining him, and he dove in to kiss her yet again, pushing his hips even deeper into hers, allowing her to feel every inch of him. This wasn’t an occasion to be rough and manhandle her. There was a time and a place for that. Tonight was all about sending her to a place of otherworldly pleasure, because that was what she deserved.
He moved his arm then, bringing his hand down to the place where their bodies met, flattening his fingers against her bud of electric nerves, stroking her like one would stroke the soft petals of a flower. She moaned deeply at that, arching into him. All the while, he continued to leave kisses over her hot skin.
Their sounds of pleasure melded together, soft gasps and moans, groans and sighs. Rosie could feel herself nearing the edge again, and Axel knew it, too. The way she tightened around him was a clear sign, and he pulled back only slightly to look down at her flushed face.
“Are you close, bunny?” He whispered, and she nodded, bottom lip quivering.
“Y-yes daddy,” she managed.
“Go ahead, come for me again,” he coaxed.
In mere moments, she was falling apart all over again, crying out as her orgasm washed over her. Axel gritted his teeth, trying his best not to let go as well. He wanted to draw this out a little more, enjoy her for a little longer. And as she’s trembling beneath him from the aftershocks, he gently shifts her, holding her against his chest as he moves to his knees, all while sheathed inside her.
He shushed her whine, large hand rubbing her back. “Shh, I’ve got you. Just changing positions, baby.”
Immediately, she wrapped her arms around him, and he held her close, resting his forehead against his as he began to thrust his hips upwards, slow and deep, making her gasp sharply. He held her gaze as he fucked her, and he could see the tears glistening in her eyes from the intensity of it all. But she was so good for him, and held eye contact because she knew how much he loved it.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered. When her tears began to fall, he gently wiped them away.
She couldn’t control the tears any longer, and a soft sob left her. Axel soothed her, tightening his arms around her. “Are you okay, Rosie girl?” He asked.
She nodded, despite the quiver in her bottom lip. She was perfectly alright, but she was simply overwhelmed. Axel knew he needed to handle her gently in that moment. Despite the fact that he was nearing his end, he tried his best to stay calm and steady for her.
“I’ve got you, daddy’s right here,” he assured her, smiling as she nodded. She knew he wouldn’t let her go.
Her body was over sensitive, buzzing from her last two releases. But with the way Axel was grinding against her, his lower abdomen repeatedly pressing into her sensitive nub, she knew she was likely going to tip over the edge yet again.
All she could do was hold onto him, watching as his face contorted in pleasure. He was breathtaking, even in the throes of ecstasy. “F-fuck, I’m gonna come,” he gasped, realizing that he couldn’t stave it off anymore.
“Me too,” Rosie peeped, barely able to get the words out.
Axel raised his brows, breathlessly replying. “Yeah? Come with me, baby.” He quickened his movements, grinding deeply into her, heat creeping up his spine and throughout the rest of his body.
“D-daddy!” Rosie exclaimed, and without warning, she was falling apart for a third time, utterly soaking him. That was what sent Axel over the edge, and his mouth fell open, a broken moan falling from his mouth as his orgasm overwhelmed him.
He held Rosie tightly to his chest, offering a few more lazy thrusts before he finally settled against her, trying to catch his breath. Rosie clung to him, and when he pulled his head back to look at her, he realized she was still crying. Axel cupped her cheek, gazing at her lovingly.
“You’re okay, bunny,” he assured her.
But her tears were uncontrollable. “I-I know, I ju-just can’t stop,” she cried. She truly was fine, but everything that had transpired was now coming out in a crescendo of emotion. She buried her face against his neck and cried freely. despite the mess between them from the evidence of her release. In that moment, nothing else mattered to Axel but holding her close to his heart.
He rocked her back and forth, letting her have her moment, never moving to pull away. Finally, she seemed to settle, and she lifted her head to look at him. She kissed him, small hands cupping his cheeks. “I love you so much,” she hoarsely whispered, conviction in her voice.
Axel rubbed his nose against hers before he gently kissed her. “I love you too, Rosie girl. More than you’ll ever know.” Again, his lips were on hers, his hand in her hair.
All too soon, however, it was time to pull away. “I made a mess,” she mumbled as she glanced down between them.
Axel grinned. “You sure did, and it was so hot. But don’t you worry about it. I’ll take care of the sheets. First, let’s get you to the bathroom.” Ever so slowly, he eased her off of him, and she whined at the loss of contact, and at the discomfort of wetness between her legs, caused by both of their orgasms.
Axel shushed her, scooping her up in his arms and toting her off to the bathroom. He saw to it that her makeup was removed, that she had a shower, used the restroom, and got into cozy pajamas. And after that, he set her up on the floor with some blankets and a snack before he made work of changing the sheets.
Rosie snuggled with her cat Matilda as she ate her snack and watched Axel do his thing. When he was finished, he turned to her, and she immediately reached for him, which made him smile as he bent down to pull her upright.
His arms looped around her waist, and he held her close for a moment. “So all of this was brought on because I got dressed up, right?” He inquired with the raise of a brow.
She blushed at that. “Yes,” she whispered.
“Well then, if that’s all it takes to get you going I guess I should get dressed up more often, huh?” He teased with a wink. He kissed her nose, and gave her a squeeze.
“I can’t help it. You just look so good, daddy,” came her soft response.
He guided her to the bed then, pulling back the covers as she climbed in. “You’re insatiable, you know that? And I love it.” He settled in beside her, and she immediately curled against him.
“Thank you for making me feel good when I needed it,” she told him.
He hummed, nuzzling closer to her. “I’ll take care of you whenever you need, Rosie girl. And that’s a promise.”
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so..I hate that this is so late but happy to finally have this done and be posting it for y’all! hope you enjoy! thank you to my betas @tbslenthusiast, @serendipitystyles, and @summertimestyles you’re all angels!! also sham was so kind to help me create a playlist for this fic which you can find here!
this is for @taintedwonder‘s Styles Valentine’s Day fic challenge and most of the photos from the header were my inspo along with prompts 3. Can you just hold my hand? and 6. Let’s run away together.
as always any likes, rbs, replies, and feedback is welcome and very much appreciated!
word count: 4.1k
writing tag | masterlist
You can read his face before he even opens his mouth to speak.
“You have to leave again, don’t you?”
He doesn’t answer at first, just joins you where you sit on the bed, an arm around your waist to urge you closer to him. He presses a kiss to your shoulder, as if that will soothe the sting of what he’s about to say. He buries his face into your neck before he speaks.
“Only for a little while, angel.”
You don’t respond by returning the kiss like you normally would, narrowing your eyes down to where he’s hiding his face, “How long is a ‘little while’?”
“You could always come with me, y’know..”
He’s avoiding the answer and he knows it, eyes darting up only briefly to look at your face.
“How long, Harry?”
He’s fiddling with the hem of your t-shirt now, focusing on the loose thread hanging instead.
You nudge him lightly, pulling his attention back up to you, “Just say it! How long?”
He sucks in a big breath before releasing it and then the words come out in a rush, “A few weeks, possibly a month.”
You have to take your own deep breath before asking, “When do you have to leave?”
“Promise you won’t be mad?”
“My flight’s on the 14th.”
“February 14th? As in we don’t get to spend Valentine’s Day together?”
“M’so sorry, love, I really thought we were gonna get to spend the day together.”
He’s pulled back from where he was hiding his face, studying yours now. It hurts him to see the disappointment written there; the pinch in your brow, the downturned corners of your mouth, the way your eyes have temporarily lost their shine and fallen misty.
“Ya really could come with me, y’know. Take a bit of time off, would do you some good to take a break.”
He knows better, knows it’s just a fantasy that you would ever be able to get that much time off from work to be able to travel with him.
“C’mon, love, let’s run away together.”
The way he’s looking at you know, it really wouldn’t take much more convincing to turn his fantasy into a reality.
“What am I gonna do when I’m cold and don’t have you as my personal heater to help me get warm?”
“S’why I left you my pillow to snuggle with. There’s a ton of extra blankets too, use as many of those as ya need.”
How could you explain that no amount of warmth from any blanket would ever compare to his? A blanket wasn’t capable of softly brushing your hair back from your face or tenderly pressing it’s lips to yours as you drift off to sleep. You open your mouth to try to illustrate such facts, but you close your mouth just as quick. You aren’t trying to be difficult or clingy, and you don’t want your last bit of time together to be filled with your complaints.
That thought only lasts for a moment, your anxiety building with each mile closer to the airport, “Well what do I do when your pillow doesn’t smell like you anymore?”
“I’ll try to be back before that happens, deal? Besides, you’ve got a whole drawer of my t-shirts to sleep in too. They all smell like me, right?”
“They do, but, Harry..what if..”
“Shh, hey, we’ve been through this before, right? S’gonna be hard for me to be away from you too, but I promise we’ll be alright. You can call me anytime you’re missin’ me, remember?”
His voice is that of someone trying to pacify a small child just before a tantrum, and you feel as though you’re being whiny and unreasonable. Missing him when he was away was almost unbearable though; everything seemed heavy and dimmer and you know it would feel like an eternity before you were together again.
“Promise we’ll make up today the second I come home. You plan the whole day and just tell me when and where to show up, okay?’
The fact that it was Valentine’s Day didn’t matter so much to you. You and Harry made it a point throughout your days spent together to express your love to one another whenever you could, so today was really just..another day to spend together. So it’s missing him that has tears forming in your eyes again, just as they had the night before.
“Can you just hold my hand? Until..” You don’t finish the sentence, letting your voice trail off so he won’t hear it break.
“‘Course I can, baby.” He offers his hand, never taking his eyes off the road even as he lifts your hand to his mouth to place a kiss to the back of it.
Though you know he would never admit to it, you swear you feel the speed of the car slow just the tiniest bit, Harry wanting to add as much to your limited time together as he can.
Despite it still being light outside, coming home to the space you normally share together alone makes you want to do nothing but crawl right back in bed. It’s mid-afternoon and with Harry not home to motivate you to do something more productive, that’s exactly what you aim to do.
After dropping your purse and keys near the door and double checking the locks, you’re startled by the sight of a bouquet of bright pink roses adorning your dining room table. They definitely weren’t there when you left, and you pluck the small card nestled between the flowers with your name scrawled across the front. It’s Harry’s almost illegible handwriting and the sight of it makes your heart soar with excitement before you flip it open to read the message.
It’s simple and small, more of his writing scratched across the cream colored paper in bold, black ink. Love, love, love, H. There’s a badly drawn heart underneath the note, and that makes you giggle out loud, filling the silence. If Harry were here, he’d have some cheeky comment about how adorable your laughter is, how he loved the sound of it.
“Don’t want you moping around the whole time m’gone, yeah? Promise me y’ll do more than just sulk around the place until I get back?” This reminder was given just before he’d had to rush off to catch his plane, giving you no time to offer him much more than a quick peck and a sad smile as an agreement.
So technically what you plan to do would not be considered breaking a promise, just..catching up on the sleep you would’ve gotten if you hadn't had to wake up so early to ride with Harry to the airport. Normally that was something you would decline to do, preferring to sleep in, which Harry usually was fine with; but this time he had insisted on you accompanying him on his drive, wanting to get as much time with you on this day as he could.
Just as you're about to venture down the hallway to the bedroom, you spot another item you’re sure hadn’t been on your coffee table earlier that morning when you’d left. It’s a medium sized box, messily wrapped with red paper and tied with purple ribbon and a bow. It’s quite heavy when you lift it, so you sit on the nearby couch to avoid dropping it. You waste no time tearing the paper away, lifting the lid to reveal a candle surrounded by tissue paper.
There’s a pack of two lighters wedged next to the candle, and you curiously pull it from the box first to see more of Harry’s handwriting on a red sticky note.
Baby you light up my world like nobody else...
That pulls another laugh from you, this one is bigger and echoes through the dimly lit space. The candle itself is a scent he knows you love, and you bring it closer to your face and inhale deeply. The smell of it helps ease even more of the unease and sadness of him being gone. You dig your phone out of your pocket to check the time and try to calculate whether his plane has landed and he would be able to answer a call from you.
You ultimately decide to nap first and give him a chance to get settled. He would most likely be calling you later anyway, missing you just as much as you missed him and wanting to hear your voice. You could thank him then for the flowers, candle, and the laugh. So you continue your journey to the bedroom, slipping out of your clothes and sliding open the drawer of Harry’s t-shirts. He’s right, they do all smell like him and you run your fingers along the soft fabrics before selecting one.
It’s plain white, one of his undershirts normally tucked beneath his expensive button ups and ruffles, but today it’s perfect and comforting attire to doze off in. It’s loose and just long enough on you that you don’t feel the need to put on a pair of your pj shorts with it, The bed is still messy from the morning, and you swear you can still see the outline of where Harry’s body normally tucks next to you on his side. You pull the blanket back and crawl into your usual spot, but it doesn’t feel right; it’s too empty and quiet without Harry.
You grab his pillow from his side and try your best to replicate the way you would curl yourself around him if he was here. It takes a bit of time to adjust, but eventually you give up and just try to relax into the mattress as much as possible, covering your head slightly with the blanket to surround yourself with warmth.
You peek through the space uncovered to the alarm clock on the bedside table on Harry’s side, the bright red letters read 12:32 p.m. and you let out a deep sigh before drifting off to sleep. If you weren’t so tired, the thought that crosses your mind might just make you laugh again.
Alone in bed in the afternoon on Valentine’s Day. What a shame.
You wake with a start, bolting upwards at the sound of your phone ringing loudly from somewhere near the bed. You don’t even bother to open your eyes to see who it is, just following the motions to answer and plop back down onto your spot as you let out an almost breathless and groggy “hello?”
“Not missin’ me too much, I see, took you a whole minute to answer,'' You know he’s joking by the hint of amusement in his voice and relief floods through your chest before any other feeling at the idea of him making it safely to his destination, “You alright, love? Sound a bit outta breath. Having some fun in our bed without me?”
“I..no, I was napping, promise, your call just scared me awake..how did you know I’m in bed?”
“I’m only teasing. Just a guess, figured you’d find your way back to the bed not long after you got home.”
“Found the flowers and the candle. Your note on the lighters made me laugh, thank you. How’d you do that though? They weren’t there when we left for the airport and you didn’t come back in.”
“Had one of my assistants drop the flowers off, and the candle’s been stashed in the closet for a week so she set it out for me while she was there. Wish I could’ve been there to see your face and hear that laugh,” He giggles at the thought of it, “S’that all you found? The flowers and the candle? I assume you found the one in the bathroom too, right?”
You’re more alert now, sitting up again to try to process what he’s saying more easily, “What do you mean? There’s more? The bathroom?”
“A few more, yeah. Hid here and there for you to find.”
“You left me a scavenger hunt? Do I at least get clues to help me find them all?”
“I’ve just given you one, haven’t I? Might be persuaded to give you a few more later.”
You’re up off the bed now, making your way to the bathroom where another surprise awaits. You hesitate for only a moment, stopping just as you reach the door.
“What’s in the bathroom? More flowers? One of those big, fluffy teddy bears?”
“M’not gonna tell you! You gotta go in to find out!”
Flipping on the light switch has you gasping at what you see. A heart, entirely made from more red sticky notes, each one embellished with reminders of his love for you. You stumble over words, trying to form a coherent response.
He senses your shock even through the phone and graciously gives you a moment before asking, “S’the heart all wonky or does it look nice? Told them to make it as straight as possible.”
“H..it’s beautiful! How did you have time to write all these before you left?”
“Finished up most of them last night after you fell asleep. They came to me a lot easier with my muse snoring next to me.”
You truly don’t know what to say to that. You’ve never had someone be so bright and loud with their love for you and just this simple expression makes you feel so incredibly special and loved.
You know that emotion is flowing through the phone when he speaks again, softer and lower, “Y’sure you won’t let me fly you out here to be with me?”
There’s the sound of another voice before Harry barks out another laugh, “Jeff says m’proper miserable without you. He said he’d pay you whatever your salary would be for the next month just to have you here.”
“Tempting, but..” Harry knows how much you love your job and how such a long absence would jeopardize the career you’ve built, so you know he probably won’t mention it again.
“Technically it was gonna be part of my present for you, so..I’ll give you another clue.”
“How very generous of you, H. Will this one make me cry too?”
“Maybe. Knowing you, probably,” You roll your eyes but listen for further instructions, “Just remember I had to rush and there’s still a few I didn’t get to add but, go get your laptop.”
“What’d you do to my laptop?”
“Would ya just go get it? C’mon I’ve gotta hang up soon and I wanna hear your reaction before I hafta go.”
“Alright, I got it. What now?”
“Go to your music library.” He gives you a moment to navigate through your programs, “Should be a playlist there with your name on it, lovie. Wait, are you already crying?”
“Shut up! Yes!” You wipe at your eyes with the hem of his t-shirt you’re still wearing as you try to read over the list of songs, “This is so sweet! The flowers, the candle, the heart and now this. Harry..I didn’t get you anything and you did all this for me. Thank you, I love you.”
“Love you more,” You can just picture the smug smile on his face, pleased that he’s done a good job of surprising you, “You can make it up to me later.”
“Don’t push your luck there, H. You’ve just been forgiven, I still have time to change my mind, you know.”
“I know. I wouldn’t blame you if you did.” You hear what you assume to be Jeff’s voice again in the background, “I gotta go, babe. I’ll try to call again later, alright?”
“Wait! I don’t get any more clues? Can you at least tell me how many more are left?”
“S’no fun for me if I give away all my secrets now, is it?”
It’s only a day later when you find yourself in the kitchen, uncertain about what to make for dinner, eyes scanning over the ingredients in your pantry. Your laptop sits on the counter nearby, and you hum along to My Girl playing through the speakers, a song selected for you by Harry for the playlist he recently made for you.
You’re about to give up and heat up your leftovers from the Italian take-out you had treated yourself to the night before, when you spot the pack of Haribo gummy bears wedged in the corner. You almost have to stand on your tip-toes to reach it, and when you run your hand along the shelf you find another bag of sweets not far from the gummy bears. You smile down at the two bags, his favorite candy and yours sitting side by side.
There’s another of Harry’s red sticky notes on the pack of gummy bears: Being away from you is unBEARable. More of his cheesy jokes you’re sure he thought of himself. Your candy is void of any words, just another messily drawn heart, this time with your name in the middle.
You decide to FaceTime him this time, wanting to see his face. It only takes 3 rings for him to answer, a tender “Hi, baby.” falling from his lips. The room he’s in is dimly lit, but you can still see him well enough to notice his hair is damp. His curls are more pronounced than usual, which was a sign he’d been too tired to much more than probably run his fingers through after his shower.
“Found another of your surprises.” You hold the candy up for him to see and he smiles.
“Better save me some of those Haribo, and not just all the colors ya don’t like either.”
You tear open the bag, sticking your tongue out at him before popping a few into your mouth, “I might, if you tell me where all the other surprises are.”
You can see him temporarily consider it, biting his bottom lip and meeting your gaze before he shakes his head, “Nah. I will tell you there’s only one more though..well, depends on how you look at it, but to me they only count as one.”
He mimics locking his lips, and you decide to drop it for now, knowing you would most likely have to trick or beg him to tell you later. You’d let him think he won. For now.
You roll the top of the bag of candy down, opening the cabinet to tuck them back into the same corner you found them in. They just didn’t taste the same without him there to enjoy them with you. Plus you still had a still had leftover garlic knots and mushroom ravioli you planned to dig into later.
“S’that the playlist I made for you? Sounds like it.”
The song has changed to At Last, Etta James’ voice filling the small kitchen, “Yeah. I love this song.”
“Me too. Reminds me of you now..my love,” You sway a bit to the music before stopping, leaning forward to where your phone is propped on the counter, “Wish I was there t’dance with you.”
You try your best to hold back your emotions of missing him, but you imagine how he would rest his hands on your hips if was here. How he would spin you to face him and move his hands to rest on your back while he led you around in a slow circle across the floor. It wasn’t just his hands you longed for, it was the way he would bend to your ear to sing along to whatever song you were dancing to, especially one like this he knew you loved. You missed his voice in person, the way it would surround you with a comfort and peace you’d never be able to replicate with anything else.
No matter what you do you can’t stop your thoughts from trailing to how when the song was over, he would lift you to sit on the counter and kiss your forehead. You’re wearing one of his hoodies tonight, and you pull the sleeve down over your hands to use to try to quickly wipe away any tears before he sees them. Once you feel you’ve reined in your emotions to the best of your abilities, you clear your throat before speaking again.
“I miss you, H.”
“I miss you too, angel.”
The music has changed again, Don’t Worry Baby by The Beach Boys lifting the mood enough you don’t feel so heavy and overwhelming with your yearning for him. You take a deep breath, planning to ask him about his day, but before you have a chance he says, “Go to your bedside table. The top drawer.”
“M’tryin’ to tell you where your last surprise is. Go to our bedroom and look in the drawer. I’ll wait.”
You flash him a smile before turning to make your way out of the kitchen, through your living room and down the hall to your bedroom. It takes a bit of searching before you uncover a stack of bright, pastel colored envelopes tied together with the same purple ribbon as the candle from the day before. You work quickly to untie the knot and turn the lamp on so you can read the front of each one. There’s 4 total; open when you need a laugh, open when you miss my hugs, open when you need a reminder of my love, open when you miss me.
You tear into the final one immediately, setting the others aside for later. It’s not very long, the perfect length to boost your spirit even further. Just the thought of him taking time to sit down and write his expression of love for you makes you grin, and has that same feeling of being loved spreading through you as it did the previous day when you saw the heart on the bathroom mirror.
You had almost forgotten leaving him on hold in the kitchen until you hear, even from 3 rooms away, the sound of him singing along to whatever song is playing now. You close your eyes, picturing for a moment that it’s a typical night when he’s home, darting around the kitchen while he makes dinner or puts dishes away.
You make your way back through the house to him, envelope in hand. Each one had been a different color so the second he sees which one you have his eyes brighten, his smile growing bigger the closer you get.
“Of course you opened that one first. Did y’like it?”
You shake your head no, breaking into a laugh when you see the look of disappointment on his face, “I loved it. Very charming of you to do all this just for me, H.”
“Yeah? I did a good job surprising you then?”
You roll your eyes. This man and his need for praise was too much, but he was yours, and you were his and you would do anything to assure him that you loved him just as much as he loved you.
“You did an amazing job, really, Harry. I never expected you to be able to do so much so last minute.”
His mouth drops open in mock dismay, looking down and shaking his head, “I can’t believe you would ever doubt me!”
You don’t say anything, just shake your own head at his teasing, sharing a look of adoration before you look away.
“Hey, did I leave my lip balm there? The coconut kind I use before bed? Thought I had it in my duffel but I couldn’t find it when I got here.”
“Yep. I used it earlier when I got out of the shower. Want me to send it to you?”
“Nah, you don’t have to, but..you could bring it to me in person if you wanted.”
“I would if I could, Harry.”
The tone of a new text from your phone startles you, and you try to suppress your elation as best you can at who it’s from. It’s Jeff, confirming the time of your flight he’d helped you schedule for the following day. Harry knows you too well, would instantly be able to read your face and be suspicious of what you were up to. You step away from his line of sight to let the thrill run through you, to let it fully wash over you so he wouldn’t see. You return as quickly as you can, brushing it off as if you’d just gotten a text from your boss or a friend. He was oblivious, none the wiser at what you were planning.
It was your turn to surprise him.
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Summary: Shinsou reminds you why you’ll always love him.
Song Inspiration: “Repeat After Me” by The Weeknd
Author Note: *gasp* Did I actually post a new story and it’s NSFW?!? Crazy, I know. I’m honestly surprised it’s not Bakugou doing the honors LMAO. It’s my first attempt writing a NSFW fic, so I am nErVoUs ahsdksjd. I really like how it turned out; y’all can thank The Weeknd for this.
MINORS PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT. PLS.
Warnings: Aged-Up Characters; Fem!Reader; Oral Sex (Female receiving); some basic, vanilla, sex tbh (baby steps y’all). Unprotected sex (whoops); Slight angst?? I’m sorry, I had to. Not sure if im missing something else....
Word Count: 1.6K+
A tiny flame burns quietly on your bedside table, casting a glow on your whimpering face. You sink further into the silky pillows and close your eyes—his sinful touches are heavenly. They are the cure to the madness that was eating you alive the last few nights. But tonight, oh, tonight is different as strong hands roam along your body, treasuring each curve like a precious gift sent from above.
You let out a shaky breath, your fingers curling on the soft covers that probably won’t survive once the morning sun rises. But you don’t care as you feel his lips explore every inch of your bare shoulder. He moves toward your lovely neck and nips it softly, making you whine. A deep chuckle tickles by your ear as he hovers over you.
His left knee wedges in between your legs and grazes the dangerously wet panties. You moan, your hand clinging on his sculpted back muscles like a koala. He then grinds himself down on you, and your fingers dig into his thick skin. Oh, how he enjoys riling you up like this. You roll your hips to satisfy the pleasure burning inside your core.
“That’s it,” he murmurs, his hot breath blowing against your heated skin. Shinsou gives you a chaste kiss, whispering, “Just relax. Let me take care of you tonight.”
A shudder runs down your spine—you yearned for this.
Shinsou listens to your body very carefully. He lets all the desperate squirms, the excited jolts, the heavy pants guide him on this long, sensual journey. You arch your back as Shinsou moves down, his lips leaving behind a blazing trail of kisses.
Breathy moans fill the room as the hemline of your satin nightdress rises up, exposing your ass. One of Shinsou’s palms greedily gropes it, amazed at how soft and delectable it feels. You pant harder as the hand travels south, the pace so agonizingly slow that your body is on fire. He stops and grips the thin fabric of your panties. You gaze at him, heart pounding when lustful eyes stare back at you.
They are like dark storm clouds ready to ravage the world—or in this case, you. A devious smile graces his lips as the panties slide off your legs and are tossed away, never to be seen again. You yelp when he pulls you closer to him, his face disappearing in between your legs. The anticipation grows as you feel him leave ghostly kisses along your inner thighs, waiting for those deadly lips to—
“S-shit,” you cry quietly, eyes shutting for a moment.
Shinsou’s tongue gives a teasing flick on your clit. He grins and licks around the swollen area, peppering it with kisses as well. You squirm on the bed and release another shaky breath. Shinsou wastes no time sucking your wet cunt, his mouth savoring the sweet taste dripping out your quivering hole.
A broken gasp rips through the air when his thumb circles on your clit. It moves at a steady rhythm, and you ride along with it, panting heavily the quicker he goes. You don’t want it to stop—not when the pleasure is so damn addicting, making your toes curl. Shinsou then sucks on the sweet spot, hard, and you moan louder.
“Oh, god, yes,” you chant like a broken record. One hand grips his messy hair, and you shiver when he grunts. Your hand has a mind of its own, pushing his face deeper to keep that friction going. “Fuck, more.”
And Shinsou obliges, devouring your throbbing pussy like a starved man. You simply buck your hips against his mouth and dig your fingers on his scalp until it bleeds. Shinsou holds you in place, the filthy sounds of his tongue pushing you over the edge. You keep hanging until it’s all too much and cry out in pure ecstasy, the waves rippling down your body.
Shinsou finally comes up for air, his chin dripping with that sweet cum of yours. He wastes no precious time capturing your lips that are dying for his attention. You fully surrender to him without hesitation, letting the man’s tongue dance inside your mouth. The blended taste of your honeyed cum and his saliva—an intense, rich flavor of ripe raspberries—overwhelms all of your senses.
You pull back when Shinsou grinds himself against you once more. That’s when you feel his large cock bulging through his boxers, teasing you to no end. He shifts a little, and the bed groans. Through half-lidded eyes, you whimper at the sight of Shinsou pumping his hard rock shaft, a bit of pre-cum dripping from the head. It playfully brushes your wet folds, but you can’t wait any longer.
You just can’t.
“Please, Hitoshi,” you beg, not bothering to hide the desperation cracking in your voice. “Please, I—hngh.”
Shinsou squeezes your hips, almost encouraging you to say it. “Tell me.”
“I-I need you,” you quiver. “P-Please, I—”
Your mouth parts with a silent cry when Shinsou sinks his cock. He hisses a bit, feeling the spongy warm walls stretch around him. You mewl as he fills you up, slowly and with great care. The sensation is new yet oddly familiar and satisfies that intense hunger you had the past few nights. You shut your eyes and bite your lip—Shinsou feels amazing, the thick girth of his twitching inside your pussy.
Shinsou’s thumb caresses across your cheek, and you look at him. With a slight nod, Shinsou begins rocking you, the bed creaking with each move. His hips roll like the gentle ocean waves under a clear night sky. There’s no rush, no hurry; Shinsou wants to cherish every single second inside you, and he relishes your lovely moans filling the air.
You wrap one leg around his waist, and he holds onto it with a vice grip. Shinsou soon crashes his entire weight on you as his forearm rests near your face. He groans when your pussy clenches tightly on him.
“That’s right,” Shinsou grunts near your ear, giving you a firm thrust for good measure. “You don’t love him. Not when you’re thinking of me, kitten. Not when I’m fucking you.”
“M’fuck, Toshi!” You cling to him as Shinsou continues to rock you deeper and deeper, his pace pounding you into oblivion. “Oh god, yes…yes…”
He’s hitting you just right, over and over again, with no sign of stopping. You drown yourself in the sea of immense desire. Suddenly you’re captivated with everything Shinsou does to you. It’s his ragged breaths that scorch your skin like a raging wildfire. It’s his massive muscles that mercilessly crushes you into the mattress, trapping you there with no hope of escape. It’s his fingers—rough and enormous—that selfishly claim your skin, reminding you that you belong to him.
At least for tonight.
You gaze into his eyes, raging with lust.
“Repeat after me,” Shinsou rasps in between each breath. “You don’t love him.”
“I...I don’t love him.”
“You love me.”
You nod, mouth trembling. “I love you, Hitoshi.”
Shinsou lets out a feral growl at your final words—words of affirmation that you both know to be true. They make him go wild, each of his thrusts more maddening than the last. You cry harder and dig into his tensed shoulders as Shinsou ravages you like no tomorrow. Yet, he holds onto his promise, and that is satisfying you tonight.
The pleasure builds rapidly throughout your body. You can feel it bubbling inside you, thrashing like waves during a stormy sea. Your eyes roll back, and your mouth opens wide, singing incoherent praises to Shinsou as he rides you through your orgasm. He holds you with all his strength when his own fervid release hits you seconds later.
Shinsou heaves loudly above you, sweat beads rolling down his forehead. His eyes never waver away from yours, admiring your flushed face. It’s beautiful, perfect even. You forgot how much Shinsou looks at you with such devotion that you break down crying.
“Hey,” he says, whispering your name. His thumb wipes a few tears from your cheek, and you flutter your gaze at him again. “It’s okay. You don’t have to cry.”
“I miss you, Hitoshi,” you croak, the tears raining down your face. “Fuck, I miss you so much.”
A faint smile barely reaches his eyes.
“I miss you, too,” he confesses, and you hear the regret flowing through his voice. Still, Shinsou fights through and swears: “But, I promise you will always be mine, okay? You’re mine, and I’m yours.”
“Okay,” you sniffle and gaze into his eyes.
You believe him with all your heart.
Shinsou reaches down and captures your lips once last time. The kiss holds a wistful longing for the old days of your enthralling relationship—the ups and downs, the highs and lows, the absolute blessings and worst mistakes imaginable, it all meshed perfectly together to create this messy mosaic called love. And Shinsou burns this into the depths of your soul where you feel it.
You absolutely feel it.
Shinsou buries his head into the crook of your neck, and you hold him, afraid to let him go. You wish to remain like this forever, sleeping peacefully in each other's arms. So you close your eyes and pray he won’t disappear.
But nothing stays forever. Shinsou’s familiar warmth and crushing weight slip through your grasp, becoming more like faded memories that float inside your head. You open your eyes and release a deep sigh—you’re alone again. All tired, sweaty, and wet, especially as you remove your fingers from your soaked pussy.
No other man could satisfy you; Shinsou made sure of that. He reminds you every single night, haunting your fantasies whether you’re getting off on your own or fucking with the new guy who wormed his way into your life. And you, as always, scream for Shinsou—discreetly or without shame.
Because you’ll always think of him. You’ll always fuck him. And you’ll always love him, repeating those words with your last dying breath.
Love is complicated, y’all. And yes, I couldn’t resist doing a little ~twist~ for the ending HA!
Thanks for reading!!
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The End of a Competitive Streak
Themes: fluff, doggos!!!, dog dad Jongin, bb Jongin, neighbors!AU, mild crack, mild enemies-to-lovers, childhood friends-to-lovers, inflatables, moms that ship, happy accidents
Pairing: neighbor!Jongin x gender neutral reader
Ficmas 2020 Prompt: “neighbors who get increasingly competitive with christmas lights displays doggo holiday costumes”
Word Count: ~1400
A/N: this is the real cheesy sh**, y’all
It started over a decade ago when your mother knitted your dog a holiday sweater. It was a cute sweater, one of those so-ugly-it’s-adorable kinds, all bright holiday reds and glittery threads, and your dog was absolutely loving the attention she got while wearing it.
Not a week later, you saw Jongin out of your window, walking his family’s three little ones, each of which was sporting a fresh wintry coat. Theirs didn’t look knitted, but when your mother went over for tea later that day, she found Jongin’s mom insisting she’d done the work by hand.
The next year, your family holiday cards went out early, complete with studio shots of everyone in full festive garb. Yes, even the cat, who hated the carrier ride to the photo studio, hated the elf costume he was in, and hated being held in your lap during the whole session -- but he survived the ordeal like a real trooper.
This had been a sniper attack, and Jongin’s mother did not have enough time to pull something similar together. Instead, she sent out e-cards, with animated photo cutouts of all three dogs flying in the air, their costumes being little reindeer outfits (Monggu being Rudolph).
Over the years, your entire families got roped into the competition even as both your mothers lost the energy to do so (they changed their minds about the whole affair and now spent every holiday season sipping their tea and judging the costume designs of both families.
When you and Jongin left for college, everyone assumed the holiday tradition was now over; the costumes had gotten more ridiculous over the years, and your parents were exhausted.
But you’d bickered all through finals about who would make the best one -- your exams ended a full day before his, so you went home first and immediately went to work on a Frozen-themed get-up. (Your cat very much did not enjoy being used as a mannequin).
Jongin responded with Grinch costumes, as well as the installation of a giant inflatable on his family’s front lawn. You spent all of the next fall semester planning your response -- never letting your plans slip, even as you saw him nearly every day at university.
Now, a few years after graduation, you’re both scheduled to be home for the holidays -- excited for a bit of a reprieve from your city jobs, excited for some time together as you don’t get much between your weird work hours and outings with coworkers. Not to mention, Jongin lives on the other side of town in the city, and it’s too much of a schlep to get there. You text every day and see him at least once a week, though it never feels like it’s enough.
But when your taxi pulls up in front of your house, your boil boils at once.
A garish display adorns Jongin’s family home, and as you step out of the taxi, a cacophony of excited barks greets you. Capable arms lift out your heavy suitcase from the trunk before the taxi driver can even get out; the arms’ owner then presses a few bills into the driver’s palm with a whispered “keep the change.”
As if the gallantry would impress you when his three dogs bark at your ankles, sniffing you intently and getting riled up at your familiarity. They each wear holiday garb to represent different cultures’ holidays, and their outfits look expensive.
“You’ve outdone yourself,” you tell Jongin with gritted teeth, looking up at him with a fake smile. You try to estimate how many days he’s been home before you, when you swear he texted you last week saying he was going to get in tomorrow.
He responds with a happy laugh that throws his head back, then he crushes you into a hug. Great. So he works out now, huh -- you can feel your bones turning to dust in his embrace.
“Welcome home,” he grins, pressing a quick kiss to your forehead as is custom when you see him after a long period of time. “Also, I won.”
“No, you haven’t,” you promise, and dash off into your own house to get started with your decorations. Behind you, Jongin brings up your suitcase and hugs your mom.
“How are you two not together yet?” Your mother clucks at you as she tightens her robe around her waist and sips at a cup of hot coffee.
“What?” You can’t hear her over the sound of the air-blown snowglobe inflatable you emergency-ordered off of Amazon. You poke at a saggy-looking side, and it perks up as air fills the plastic chamber and throws fabric snowflakes around.
She shakes her head and heads back inside, slippered feet gingerly stepping around boxes and boxes of partially-opened decorations.
Jongin comes over one day to see you teetering on a ladder, straining to get a fake icicle light strung along the edge of the roof. He looks around, surveying your work (it’s daytime, so your inflatables lie in airless puddles on the ground) and walks towards you with a slow clap of respect.
“I’m impressed with what you’ve gotten done in--”
He yelps, then surges towards you. You’d turned toward him when you heard the clapping, but the shift in weight on the ladder coupled with one of the ladder’s feet being perched atop a very safe patch of ice leads to a weird feeling in your stomach, like something is very wrong and somehow there is no longer a surface beneath your feet. You let go of the icicle and brace for an impact that feels much softer than the hard concrete of the walkway up to your door -- and yet certainly much harder than a cushion.
You peek an eye open with your heart beating wildly in your ears -- you’re… alive? But black fills your vision and you begin to moan.
“Hey! Hey, are you okay?”
Your world shifts again and you feel yourself lowered onto concrete at last, and the black fades from view as Jongin’s extremely worried face replaces it. So the black was his coat -- you’re very much alive, after all.
“Uh,” you say intelligently, still shaken from the fall and still unsure how you’re not lying on the floor, broken. “I think so,” you add, stretching your fingers and toes and taking stock of how you don’t really feel pain anywhere.
Jongin melts against you in relief, plopping to the ground to sit next to you and engulf you in a tight hold. “Good,” he exhales. “That was dangerous,” he chides. “The competition is off.”
“What!” This snaps you to attention. “No, it’s not. I haven’t had the chance to beat you yet.” You gesture at the unfinished icicles partially dangling to the floor instead of being delicately strung along the gutter.
“No,” Jongin says firmly, and squeezes you tighter. “You getting injured isn’t worth this silly competition. I only ever got involved in it to get a rise out of you.”
You freeze. He feels it.
“What, do you think I’m actively interested in dolling up Monggu in ridiculous outfits? He looks at me so sadly whenever I pull a dumb costume out. No, I kept doing all this --” he points over to his yard, one house over. “-- because it was our thing. And because I knew no matter how little we talked or how busy we got, we’d still have this.”
“I guess,” you mumble. Unbeknownst to you, your mother pulls back a curtain from the front window and peeks at your backs curiously. Jongin catches the movement and looks over, then grins, and doesn’t move his arms from where they’re wrapped around you. (Your mother smiles back, and the curtains fall back to their usual position).
“Promise me you won’t string up the rest.”
You don’t really promise. If the competition is going to end, you have to win the last one.
He squeezes tighter. “Promise.” This time, it’s a threat.
He pulls back at last, stares deep into your eyes, and realizes he needs to come clean if you’re to be this stubborn. “Or I might kiss you.”
You give him a disgusted look, but butterflies flutter in your stomach nonetheless. ‘You kiss me all the time.”
“Not on your forehead, idiot.”
You go silent, understanding what Jongin is implying -- he means the crossing over from one comfortable realm to the next, one that is exciting and has been a hope in your heart since you first became friends with the boy next door, but one realm you’ve never really entertained beyond fantasy.
“Okay,” you concede, kicking at the limp strand of icicles near your foot. “Competition’s over.”
But Jongin kisses you anyway, to prove that while one thing has ended, another is just beginning.
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champagne problems - j.p
so i’ve been listening to champagne problems on repeat, and that’s what inspired this fic. i’ll be completely honest with y’all and say that this fic doesn’t really resemble the song, but it was inspired by it.
summary: life and love don’t always mix.
pairings: james potter x reader
warnings: mild cursing, kissing, familial issues, angst, mild violence
category: angst and fluff
word count: 1,760
Requests are always OPEN
You had been effectively graduated from Hogwarts for seven days, one week. The summer of 1978 was deemed to be absolutely ‘perfect’ by James Potter.
Everyone was excited for the trip through the country, but you only had one thing on your mind. The mark your parents wanted you to get.
Being born in a Pureblood family, regardless of House meant you had values to uphold.
Growing up your Family ignored Pure-blood rhetoric, just wanting to raise you to be a kind, courageous and good person. Things changed somewhere along the way. You forgot when your Mother went from a happy, caref-free witch to bloodshot eyes and proper customs, her mark visible even under her dark clothes, the aura prominent.
Hogwarts sheltered you and your group of friends, kept you all safe from much of the war brewing outside.
It wasn’t until the Summer before your final year when you had to face the truth.
╚═━────━▒ ۞ ▒━────━═╝
Dropping your bags by the door your Mother embraced you, taking in the smell of your hair. You could tell something was off, the Manor was silent, not a sound besides the scurrying of House Elves trying to grab your bags.
“My Dear! You’re here, please sit in the Parlor we have so much to discuss!”
You were confused, but followed your Mum until you could sit.
“I need you to listen very carefully. Your Father is at Malfoy Manor. We’ve joined the fight, and we as a family pledged our allegiance to the Dark Lord.”
Even with her careful speaking you were still in shock, your mouth hanging open, all you could think about was Sirius. How he got away, maybe you could too. Every thought abandoned your mind, swirling around like a Tornado as your Mother continued speaking,
“He wants you to get the mark. After you graduate, you will be expected to kneel before our Lord and thank him.”
You shook your head viciously, so hard you thought your head would spin.
It came out harsh as you stood up, scraping the chair against the floors. Your palms hit the table as you looked up in anger.
“Is this why Malfoy kept trying to talk to me? Because my own Parents are now filthy Death-Eaters?!”
Your Mother stood up too, lifting your chin up to strike you, the breath leaving your body as your eyes filled with tears.
“You will not talk to me like that in my own home. Lucius is a wonderful man, and we had hoped you both would find your way to each other. The Potter’s boy is quite laughable, and we figured it would resolve itself on its own. Clearly we were wrong and you live in your Hogwarts fantasy world still. You will be listening to me, I just thought I would try and be nice. It seems you needed to learn the hard way. This is not up for debate.”
With those words she left swiftly, leaving you in a puddle of your own tears and questions.
╚═━────━▒ ۞ ▒━────━═╝
James Potter was the love of your life, that you knew.
Ever since you sat down beside him at the Gryffindor table at eleven you knew he would be it for you. A lopsided grin and tousled hair, that was your James.
As time wore on you both just fell together. As you both grew, so did the love you share. Setting your relationship in stone was never important, you were James and Y/N, that’s how it always was.
Until one day in 6th year, when Lucius Malfoy approached you, the same smirk he always wore embedded in his face.
“What do you want?” Your tongue had always been sharp, especially for such a bully as he was.
“Wait to go tell him off love!” James was laughing, getting Sirius and Peter to join in on his laughter as you rejected Malfoy.
Suddenly his hand brushed the hair from your face, his smirk softening,
“Little Lamb caught in the crossfire. I see I’m bothering, I was just hoping you’d accompany me to dinner with my family one night?”
You sneered, throwing daggers at him, “Never in a million years.”
“My dear y/n, sometimes words have a way of backfiring on us.” He always acted as if he had something over you, but his posture quickly straightened back up and his hand left your proximity,
“Have a good night Y/Ns, enjoy your time.”
With that he was gone and you were confused. When you looked up, James was gone, the two boys shrugging as Remus pointed to the exit.
You went to search for James, the pit of despair in your stomach growing with every step you took.
“James Fleamont Potter if you don’t come here!” You yelled, exasperatedly, throwing your arms up in a huff.
“Why did you talk to him?!” It was less of a question, more of an angry accusation.
“James what?” you were confused now, who was he talking about?
“Malfoy! You spoke to him for more time than we agreed on talking to stupid Pure-blood Supremacists! We all agreed 5 minutes or less, no more.” His arms crossed over his chest as you stared in disbelief.
“James what? Did you not listen to the conversation? He was trying to ask me out and I said no.” James grinded your gears more than anyone else you knew, his face turning with thoughts.
“Be my Girlfriend.” He spoke casually now, his shoulders dropping all of the anger he had, his expression softening.
“Wait what?” You sighed in disbelief,
“You heard me. Nobody, especially not Pureblood scum will ask you out if you’re officially my Girlfriend. I originally assumed I didn’t have to ask you out, since everyone knows we're together.” That was the first you’d heard of it.
“Do you need me to spell it out l/n?” As he spoke his next sentence he got closer with every step,
“I was jealous of Malfoy, and I know we're already together, I mean Godric was practically married, but I got so angry seeing him with you, and I want to be with you, officially, right now. You’re my girl, and I want everyone to know officially.”
Your heart fluttered at his words, nodding. You had been so upset with him, for no reason, but it had all melted away with the simple question of being his. You were his, you wanted to be his.
“Of course. I was waiting.” You closed the space between the both of you, your lips on his as you pulled James your boyfriend deeply into the kiss.
╚═━────━▒ ۞ ▒━────━═╝
Dorcas Meadows, Marlene McKinnon, Lily Evans, Remus Lupin, Alice Fortescue, Frank Longbottom, Peter Pettigrew, Sirius Black, you and James Potter were on your summer vacation.
Driving down the winding roads in one car with a nifty enlarging spell as your friends argued over the muggle music played while you and James sang along to it all.
He had insisted on driving, you in the passenger seat beside him, holding onto his free hand. All you could do was smile as you took him in, the love of your life.
You feel sick most of the time, looking at all of your Best friends, your scared best friends, the ones who fear for their life and fear for the future, and you feel sick. There was a war bubbling, almost ready to explode.
None of them knew the secret you were keeping. They all kept James’ secret though.
It had been two weeks of non stop traveling and fun for all of you, the journey ending in one last night in the middle of a field, a campfire with all of your friends around it. A few bottles of champagne shared amongst all of you.
It had to be around midnight when James stood up tipsily, holding out his hand to you, that same grin on his face as he begged you to dance.
So you took his hand, your hands taking his as he pulled you closer, your head resting on his shoulder.
You wanted to stay like that forever, your friends laughing in the background as you danced to the sounds of crackling fire, the wind and Lily and Alice making fun of you two for being ‘disgustingly adorable!’
“I love you.”
“I know dear.”
“No I really, really love you.” His pocket was too heavy all of the sudden, as he pulled away. “Like the I love you more than I love Quidditch, and more than my Cloak which I totally used to spy on you when we were in 5th year.”
Your eyes went wide as you looked at him, what in Godric’s name was he doing?
“Let me speak woman! I love you.”
“James I know that but what are you talking abou-” He interrupted you, something he was notorious for. As your heart grew heavier with anxiety, he became more confident, the champagne padding his words.
“I love you more than I love getting into trouble, and more than messing with Snape. I love you more than crunching leaves in the Fall, more than every single time I wiped a smirk off of Minnie’s face, I love you Y/N. I am completely and utterly in love with you.”
“James no, please.” Your voice was small, begging him to stop. You couldn’t take this. Your heart cracking.
He pulled out a box, shaking. Pulling it open as he dropped to a knee in the field his eyes looked up to you, a grin on his face, tears filling in his eyes.
It was his Mum’s engagement ring. Euphemia Potter’s engagement ring that had been in the family for centuries, a gorgeous mix of stones set in a thinner style band. You had admired it when you met her, a knowing smile on her face as you complimented it.
“Even if there was no war, or no bad guy, or no promise for the future I would still be here, on my knee, asking you Y/F/N to marry me. Because I know, and this is one of the only things I can be sure of, is that I love you and I will love you for, forever. The only question is, will you? Will you love me for the rest of your days?”
You wanted to scream yes, to pull him up and kiss him until your lips were blue, hear all of your friends whoop and cheer for the two of you, but you dropped his hand, the tears falling from your face.
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‘start up’: week-by-week playback
here is a week-by-week playback of events from ‘start up’ and my unfiltered feelings. hope you enjoy! if you want to see somewhat cohesive thoughts on ‘start up’ check out my official review. here :)
ladies and gents it’s going to be a good one. i loved being able to see this backstory to lay all the groundwork for the future of the drama.
his story is devastating as a young individual unable to make his way into the world and then making a way to find it isn’t how he expected and lost a real thing he had with the relationship with the her grandmother. but the redemption when he goes to see her again.
her family becoming broken. her sister severing the relationship and chalking it up to being ‘oh i made the better choice’. and her father dying while getting her chicken and trying to get an investment to not let his daughter go hungry and to bring his family together.
to him making up a character that got her through hard times. and then trying to find him again. this is going to be great. and i know i’m going to be devastated bc she fell in love with the other man to begin with, and now she will see this new person.
soooooo much happened and i’m clearly not ready.
why? why do we lie? we know nothing good will come of it. if anything this jipyeong is who she loves. but why lie? literally you can own up to it and start over boo.
disappointed in our sweet grandma for lying to dalmi for so long.
her sister is awful. and so is this ‘mother’.
this man just wanted to start up his start up but he was like nah don’t want to help you even though i need you. feel in love with the girl in the letters and showed up bc of the goodness of his heart. hope he doesn’t get lost in the fantasy of it.
their business, samsan tech, is going to be wild and great and he missed his opportunity.
her mother saying she is the same as her dad not having a plan is so wack, and makes me want her to slap her.
aren’t you curious? why aren’t you asking why i am like this? because that is my concept the quiet good looking type. i can’t with him hahaha
i love that he asked about the music box. i wish it was really him that wrote the letters, because this will be heartbreaking when she finds out.
‘it wouldn’t be bad to sail off without a map even if we got lost, if it’s with you.’
this kid, dosan, is too funny.
i cannot believe her ‘father’ just throw her under the bus and had her oppa takes over the Korean branch of her company that she formed.
dang it. girl quits her job because he started his own company
they got first place. is that enough inkling for you?!?!?
they both like her. but only one of them will admit his feelings so he will win in the end. i’m so excited to see all of their relationships develop.
the cringe level of the edit of her winning her award. i cannot even. they’re charming everyone loves it.
him learning how to be a hot shot ceo. i can’t. the placemats he is struggling.
his friend breaking the 3rd wall and telling us how dosan drives away all the ladies in university.
poor guy the only things she likes about him aren’t him at all but jipyeong.
she is going to be their ceo isn’t she. bc he said that he can’t be ceo. she’d kill it. what a queen.
yes boo! there it is we know who you’re going to pick. bc she wants them to recruit you not the other way around.
this was a stellar episode. from both teams using the same data set and coming up with wildly different ideas to samsan tech almost crashing down. but setting a fire to dosan to do better and be more ambitious. i’m so excited.
our girl killed her presentation yes queen. you got this. the fact that the boys created a whole new software. these folks would be crazy to not invest.
this alex guy really believes in them i’m excited to see if there will be rivalry between the two hot shot ceo’s
the fact that her grandma doesn’t regret not sending her to college but rather regrets not meeting him earlier to support and encourage him made me cry.
this was a great episode. so much happened in the development of their little company. disorder and disagreements led to stronger relations within the company.
i love how she picked the mentor. like yup i know alex is the biggest deal since slice bread but you’re our homie.
the fact that dosan was ready to come clean about the letters but overheard the grandmother get a sad report from the doctors and wanted to protect her and her granddaughter. so sad.
i really need more than a second male lead for this man. i can’t stand the way he looks at her. he loves her and is trying so hard to shut off his heart to her.
i love the bickering between the two male leads. like seriously hilarious.
i love the sweet relationship that nam dosan will now have with her grandmother. and i love the idea concept he had for their business. a beautiful heart behind the machine.
dosan standing up for her and standing against this horrible man out to exploit their talent.
this ending scene i can’t. they’re cute too. and precious.
he kept the plant and is going to give it nutrients to keep it well. please do the same with your relationship with her honey.
i really love jipyeong and need them together.
i cannot with their ceo step dad. like isn’t this too much.
i want the boss lady at sandbox to know that dalmi is the sandbox girl!!!
the wind turned into a heavy storm that destroyed his self esteem. he feels himself falling apart bc of his secret.
she was attacked!
‘i made a wrong turn and stumbled upon fireworks’ nam dosan.
he brought them to the beach after reading that review of wanting to see more beauty that the world has to offer. i need him to own up to his feelings and make a move.
don’t lie bro we know you like dalmi. and of course it’s raining. bc that’s how it is.
we still get a scene with them running through the rain the chul-san and yong-san.
my heart is crumbling into a million pieces. jipyeong’s there and dosan isn’t. what are we going to do. this ain’t the moment of revelation we wanted.
jipyeong is so great. 10 out of 10.
i don’t know what it is but i really am not about dosan’s character for some reason. i really just want jipyeong to be honest from the start and he could have ended up with her.
my heart. our dalmi.
‘i wanted to be the person you wanted. but it was too hard to bear.’
‘the person i want. i don’t know who that is.’
is the sibling of the member that died in their group?
do-san can’t leave his boys!!
‘does my dream have to be success. can’t it be a person?’
he just confesses to liking her while he was mixing their noodles. i can’t with him. love that he’s finally being honest. now it’s all up to dalmi.
everyone encouraging her before she has to promote their company. she did this. she is the ceo. she’s got this.
what the even?!? jipyeong was the one that was harsh to him. and it led his brother to commit suicide. oh no. and now they’re in the elevator together what’s going to happen?!?!
now she has two plan b?!? one from the investor and one from dosan and the big tech company.
they both confessed to the nice lady at the bar. hahaha i love these epilogue moments.
yong-san’s brother story is so sad.
his dad standing up for the present he desperately wants to keep. and being the bridge for innovation.
their software worked on alex’s scheme!!!
and they won demo day.
oh no but alex isn’t as great as we thought he was...
chul-san and sa-ha are dating. i cannot even. this is the best!!!
they’re such a good team. brainstorming after their win. they cannot disband them.
i thought our man was going to get to them
in time to stop them from signing. but he didn’t.
bro. alex is awful i hate this man.
the moments between. hjp and mrs. choi you are brilliant and heart breaking. i really want them to continue to grow into a better person and end up with dalmi.
why y’all got to fight why is dosan doing this. bro you’re not getting any brownie points by being like this dude.
i really love this side story with chulsan and saha. they’re cute. well we can share the vanilla latte. cute!!!!
chulsan made her a video of numbers to help her fall asleep. he’s too cute i want her to admit that she likes him. ahhhhhhhhh
the fact that they ended up going and we’ll have a three year gap errrrks me. like our boy jhp is going to finally start making moves and dosan is going to run in and save the day. like bro you’re a mess.
i hope they were able to save the app for her grandmother.
her applying to her sisters company i’m excited.
lolol they used his cousin for the commercial and injae looks sooo cute. frozen inspired.
i love how she had /iced vanilla latte lover’ as chul-san’s contact name and the vlogs!!!
hjp our man saved her from the insurance guy.
now they all play go stop together!!!!
she tucked him in and he gets to stay
youngsil calling him out to just swing the bat and don’t hesitate or he’ll lose. is this foreshadowing our man losing dalmi?!?
they finally got to eat at the bbq restaurant that was below their original building
frick my life. why is his timing always wack.
at least chulson and saha can sail.
the whole gang is back together!
it was the twins that hacked it wasn’t it?!?
he stopped him. come on baby.
i love his man listening to her cry. hiding her because she didn’t want her staff to see. and telling her to chill until she is ready. i love this man.
that’s right honey. don’t answer that phone move on.
their little photoshoot was faboulous, them as RGB
yes queen. she went to confront her family. and be like boo you thought i didn’t chance. honey you’re in for it.
her mother wanting to pay back her mother-in-law for raising her daughter in her steed.
dosan turned her down her offer to be their AI specialists at her company.
i love that his father saved the baseball.
me finally accepting my ship won’t sail when their girl walked 5 hours in the woods to get to dosan.
yong-san apologizing for saying that jhp killed his brother. they both are apologizing.
they all end up joining her company!!!!
their self driving car passed the test. they’re too cute in their celebration.
she doesn’t want to lose her team again if they lose their bid.
sa ha is finally falling for chulsan. he’s so precious. him being like oh wait you’re asking me out.
of course it would be this trip getting stuck in an elevator together.
sailing off without a map. never will regret it. -dosan
injae absolved her adoption after seeing her grandmother.
he tired to out so all their memories with that one thing alone his big hands. hahah oh do san.
my hjp finally let go. he took his losses and kept the money tree and letters. it isn’t enough honey boo.
stop feeling inferior to me. work on your self esteem and look at dalmi again. then you’ll know who she really likes. with those hands alone, you beat our memories. -hjp
because it’s you. you’re the reason. that’s it. -dalmi on liking dosan
i really don’t like them together. but whatever i shall not have my way in this. it’s fine hjp is mine.
i love the sisters together. they’re precious talking about the sandbox girl.
is this article going to frick up their bid?!? but it was his hackers that did it the twins!!!
is hjp going to save the day?!?
dalmi and dosan are a dream team. and they just served that reporter one great tell all.
i still can’t process bc i love hjp.
i feel like it hit mrs. choi when they were all talking dosan and dalmi when are finally saw dosan after a few years that her good boy would feel alone. TT
‘don’t become any lonelier jipyeong...’ their relationship makes me cry. i love that
i can’t everyone saying what they’ll do if they win. PROPOSE. say who their boyfriend is?!?!
i’m excited to see this start up to connect orphanages with a sponsor to help them in that transition. it’s a perfect fit for him. ‘i like your voice’, because it sounds like young-sil the voice of the app/help device. he’s going to personally invest and help them with their business plan. and then sponser kids!!! he is seriously a dream.
chulsan and saha are too cute. i love that she introduced him as her boyfriend. he was not expecting that. she finally found someone who she’s been looking for!
was that their goodbye? he isn’t the dosan from the letters? huh?
in jae is such a queen serving those papers to her dad at the q and a session, that no one showed up to.
them all crying in their old rooftop office. they’re such dorks i love them
his father took the sign to replace it with the one from the math competition.
dalmi and injae’s relationship is too precious.
he’s going to invest in their company. and dosan accepted hjp’s investment.
i want to change the world. follow your dream.
i liked this one.
i wonder if they won.......oh the epilogue!!!
they got married. and they kept the baseball. chul-san and saha revealed they were a couple. chul-san shaved his hair! i loved that we saw it all though pictures on their desk!! that was a creative way to fit everything in!
shareholders meeting!!! the gang taking over the world!
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💕Hello! If it's all right was could I ask for a matchup? I'm a straight gal, 5'2" tall gal with pale skin and a thin form. I also have long brown hair, blue eyes and glasses.
As for personality, I'm kind, reliable and hardworking, though a little awkward in large social groups. I enjoy joking around and prefer looking at the bright side of things. My mbti is infj (and ennegram 9w1). I prefer my friends to be considerate and open-minded, someone who doesn't judge anyone by their first impression. I make a lot of bad jokes, so they need to have a sense of humour as well, or at least tolerance for mine😅
My biggest hobby is writing, which I think about almost around the clock. Fantasy and horror are my favourite genres to write, and for character inspiration I often do people-watching. I also sing, mostly in a choir, and go out for hikes in the nature because I love the fresh air and beautiful sceneries. My worst fear is letting people dear to me down and not being there for them in their time of need. I try my best to check up on them but sometimes I wonder if I'm doing enough . . .
My motto would be "If you're going to do it, make sure you don't have regrets later." as I strongly dislike leaving what I start unfinished. It makes me anxious.
My love languages are quality time, acts of service and words of affirmation. I'd like my s/o to know that I overthink often, that my silence doesn't mean I'm angry on uninterested but that I'm stuck in my own thoughts. A deal-breaker is definitely narcissism. Confidence is great but I don't like anyone who thinks the world envolves around them.
Thank you for taking time to read this! I hope it was all righ. Have a great day😊
thanks for the request ! i hope you enjoy :-)
- this was an incredibly easy choice for me; it just makes all around perfect sense-- I match you with kuroo tetsurou
- you need someone to keep you moving in the right direction because you burden yourself with way too much shit that shouldn’t even be your responsibility
- he helps you to identify what you really want in life and makes you pick n choose a couple of goals to focus on at once rather than doing everything and anything (something tells me you have a hard time prioritizing and saying no to people)
- you help him stop n smell the roses every once in a while because that man doesn’t know when to take a break
- you both share this incredible attention to detail and you both highly value and love getting to know other people
- he’s the one who booked you your first appointment with a publishing house once you finished your first novel and he used his death glare to scare the poor publisher into giving you a higher percentage of royalties on each sale
- SCRABBLE. y’all play a highly competitive game of scrabble every friday night and you always win. this typically culminates in kuroo throwing a tantrum and tickling you mercilessly until you agree it was “practically a tie” (nevermind the fact that you literally won twice the points he did)
- you love fantasy, kuroo loves sci-fi so your conversations are constantly peppered with ridiculous rants and arguments (e.g. “who would win in a fight, a dragon or a tie fighter?” “definitely a dragon babe, i mean it has fire and--” “okay but what if the tie fighter was piloted by a jedi?”)
- physical touch may not be one of your love languages but it sure is one of his-- he’s constantly got his chin resting on your head, or he’s slipping his hand around yours, or putting it on your lower back-- he also really loves giving you these crazy bear hugs (like picking you up and swinging you around type shit) because he likes to feel all big n protective
- I mean the man is literally almost a foot taller than you so can you blame him?
- you guys have literally the worst inside jokes that no one else understands but they send you into hysterics each times until you’re both crying with laughter (lots of terrible puns, yo mama and knock knock jokes that don’t even make sense)
- like once y’all were on a trip to rome and caught a cab to your hotel from the airport but then it took a wrong turn and it ended up that it actually wasn’t a cab and you had just climbed into the back of some little old italian man’s car
- so now whenever y’all are driving somewhere and accidentally go the wrong direction one of you says “mama mia!” in a terrible italian accent and you start screaming with laughter ITS LITERALLY SO OBNOXIOUS LMAOOO
- because you’re both so intuitive that the relationship is like being two halves of a whole-- you can instantly tell when the other is even the slightest bit down and adjust your behavior accordingly
- AND y’all remember the most random shit about each other
- like he once absentmindedly mentioned he loved this particular brand of orange juice and then you started buying only that brand to stock the fridge and he absolutely loves you for it
- and on your first date when you went hiking you pointed out a clump of flowers on the side of the path you thought were pretty so on the way back he secretly picked one and dried it in the pages of a heavy dictionary and got it framed for your birthday
- honestly it’s just little considerate things like this that make the whole relationship
- he always makes sure to involve you in group conversations because he knows it’s your tendency to be shy and hang back
- good conversation is a big deal for you guys but so is quiet time-- you frequently cook dinner together without exchanging a single word, just kinda doing your own thing (like you’ll chop the salad and he’ll make the pasta) and listening to your playlist
- speaking of music, you used to refuse to sing for him until one day he heard you singing in the shower so he crept right up next to the door and recorded it on his phone, and then when you opened the door he shrieked “AHA! CAUGHT YOU!” which nearly scared the shit outta you and made you drop your towel
- but, ya know, you don’t even need to be self-conscious about your singing around this man because he doesn’t have a musical bone in his body and will think that every single note coming out of your mouth sounds like an angel chorus
- overall you guys are that couple that is just so clearly in tune with each other, you know each other like you know yourselves and it’s such a delight to see (hanging out with you is a third wheel’s nightmare tho)
your song: first date by blink-182 (he loves punk pop and you think it’s dorky as hell but he’s adorable when he’s playing the imaginary drums and head banging-- he actually got you to accompany him on the air guitar eventually and it’s lit asf) plus the song perfectly captures the easy, eager way you guys love each other
your favorite movie to watch together: the fellowship of the ring. he wasn’t really into the idea at first (he wanted to watch terminator) but now he’s as big a tolkien fanatic as there is. once you brought him to one of those fantasy renaissance fairs and y’all had the time of your lives.
your relationship in one quote: “In all the world, there is no heart for me like yours. / In all the world, there is no love for you like mine.” - maya angelou
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Daybreak (p. 1 - Henry)
Well, y’all know the drill: I have a bad day or two at work, and Henry has to pay the price for it. A quick warning about length (see below for the rest of the content warnings) -- this is a long one y’all. It was 5+ pages handwritten, which is about double what any given piece I’ve written for Henry has been. So know that going in. This occurs in the immediate aftermath of Bitter (part 2) and is the start of Henry’s truly rough time in terms of recovery. Not to say that recovery is all easy, but this is a particularly concentrated time line of terrible. Anyway, enjoy!
Henry’s Masterlist Here
tags: @simplygrimly @neuro-whump @burtlederp @moose-teeth @deluxewhump @whumpingupastorm @pepper-and-peaches @justanothermaltesegirl @whumptywhumpdump @inaridriscoll @whumphours @slaintetowhump @whump-only @thatsthewhump (Let me know if you would like added or removed from the tag list - thank you!)
CW: BBU general warning; referenced consensual sex, intrusive thoughts, depression, hopelessness, nightmares, trauma survivor, trauma recovery -- the start of Henry’s bad couple of months. Stay safe and let me know if there’s something in here that should be tagged. Thank you!
At exactly eight in the morning when Henry’s phone began to vibrate with his everyday alarm. Without looking at the screen, Henry shut off the ringer then tossed the offending device across the room. He hadn’t been asleep for the alarm to do its job.
Henry stared at the ceiling of his bedroom, same as he had done all night. Since Caleb had finally left him around three, when Henry had been startled to be alone for the first time in hours. He’d been laying flat on his back, choking on tears and swallowing snot since then.
It was pathetic.
He felt dried out. His eyes stung with every blink. His tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth and everything tasted like airplane air, cotton balls, and the faint tinge of bile. He hadn’t thrown up. He’d only managed to get his jeans and shoes off before collapsing into bed. He could smell the dried sweat and stale tequila on his skin.
A small part of him desperately hoped it was all a bad dream. That he would get up for a shower, the water would hit his face, and he’d wake up on that tiny twin dorm bed next to Carter. Carter, fast asleep with his blonde hair ruffled from his pillow. Carter, who would hold him close, warm him up, get him a glass of water and the ibuprofen bottle with a smile and a kiss. Carter, who would pull him out of bed, take him to that diner from the 70s, buy him coffee and pancakes and let him steal strips of bacon or blueberries. Carter, who had remembered he was gone and wanted him back; who didn’t mind all the movies or books or celebrities Henry didn’t know. Carter, who Henry lov--.
“Oh fuck no,” Henry muttered.
He rubbed the heels of his palms into his eyes and let out a harsh breath, trying with all his might to grind away the stinging feeling. He couldn’t think about that right now. He couldn’t begin the wrestle with what that meant. Not yet. Everything felt like an open wound.
It was over between them. Henry knew it was.
How could it not be?
Henry sighed, hands dropping to the comforter with a soft thud. He figured he had held onto the secret for longer than was possible, longer than he should have been allowed to. He’d kept it down, under wraps, completely hidden from just about everyone. It was a valiant effort, he consoled himself half-heartedly. He’d gotten to be Henry, gotten to live another life for a little while. For a lot longer than he thought. Henry supposed he should be happy about that. That he should be satisfied with that, but he wasn’t. Not remotely.
If he had had the energy, Henry would have been tear his bedroom to shreds.
If he had had the strength, Henry would have been sitting at his desk, making a plan.
But he had no plan now.
He had no energy. He was too hollowed out. Too empty. Henry wanted to do nothing more than lay in his bed, buried to his nose in blankets and quilts, and disappear. Caleb and June would come see about him soon enough. But, for now, he prayed he would dissolve into nothing, dissolve into his sheets. No thoughts, no sadness, no problems, no jumping through identities.
He would just stay in bed. He would stay in this apartment. He would take care of Rosie and Gabi, pick them up from the bus stop and make sure they did their school work. He would cook breakfast, lunch, dinner so June didn’t have to. Maybe he’d pick up his shift at the bar, maybe he wouldn’t.
Keep his head down and forget.
Screw his degree, Screw pretending to be normal.
It wasn’t worth the trouble.
It wasn’t worth this feeling. This hurt rolling over and over in his chest, snaking out through his limbs, making his nerves smart and tingle and sting. Everything hurt. Everything ached. Everything felt open and sore and weeping. Every last ounce of him was leaking out around him.
I don’t know how much hurt you carry with you.
Harry had said that to him almost three years ago, when Henry was still new to the outside world and he had been staying with the man and his husband. Back when Henry just wanted to stay hidden, stay under the radar, stay gone. When he didn’t know what “recovery” meant and hadn’t met Noelle or Carter yet. When he didn’t have anyone he’d miss yet.
Back then, the hurt he carried was small but persistent. It was there, he wouldn’t deny that, and he had always felt it. But he didn’t know that’s what it was or that there was another option.It had grown since then -- he had tangled himself up in his own fantasy that things could be better. He could be better. Henry could be better. Better than Nicholas, at the very least.
Back then, Henry had learned to handle all that hurt because there was nothing else to do with it. He had walked away and that was that. Now? Henry didn’t want to hale all this.
So he wouldn’t.
He wouldn’t handle it.
Henry had no more fight left in him and was resigned to let it all consume him. Maybe that would be less painful than thinking it all over and over. Every damned second from the moment he saw Noelle in the crowd, to the cigarettes on the deck, to Carter’s fury, and the horrible words falling from Noelle’s mouth.
Henry sniffed and sighed, yanking the blankets back up and dropping his pillow over his face. He could try to sleep. Maybe he could stay in that dream if he did.
Henry had been staring in the mirror for a long while. He didn’t know exactly how long, but he knew it had been for some time. He sometimes did that in the morning, before coffee, when the house was quiet and he was essentially alone with his thoughts. The small voice in his head reminded him it wasn’t morning.
How he knew that, Henry didn’t know.
He didn’t know what compelled him to stand there for so long, looking into the mirror. He didn’t exactly like his reflection. It was too similar to another boy with another life who had been hurt by the same people Henry had been. Someone he would never know but could thank for his entire predicament.
He didn’t like his reflection now. The pale skin without any hint of his freckle, making him look unhealthy. Hair that had darkened with age, the subtle curl it had now that Mariana wasn’t there to have it cut. His badly chewed fingernails, dark under-eye circles, the scabbing and bitten lower lip.
He looked like hell.
He hadn’t left the apartment in four days, rarely leaving his room unless he was asked for. He showered and brushed his teeth every day, but he couldn’t bring himself to shave.
Why would anyone want you? Looking like shit like this?
Henry blinked. That was his voice, to be sure, but his mouth hadn’t moved. He sighed, rolling his eyes. His thoughts had gotten louder with all the quiet, with not a lot of sleep. He shook it off, running a hand over his jaw.
Yeah louder. That’s the problem. Just the sleep. Sure thing, kiddo.
“Oh shut up,” Henry mumbled, reaching for the taps. Splash some water on his face, then maybe he’d make some tea. It was all in his head. It was always all in his head. Cold water, a rough towel on his face, and he would be fine.
Nice try, still here. the voice -- his voice -- continued. Old pajamas, four day old baby scruff. Even if he managed to ignore everything he knows now, why on Earth would he take you back looking like this?
Henry’s heart sinks. He hadn’t thought about anyone but Carter for days. He studied his face again, his heart sinking further. His stupid voice was right. Why would Carter come back for a slapped-around, washed up, used-up former pet?
Oh good. So you do understand. Think, really think, pretty boy. Why would he want to be with you? Why would you want to be with you?
Henry huffed. “Looking like this?”
No. Just as you are.
Henry jolts awake, air flooding his nose. His lungs overwork as he settles himself back in reality. He casts his eyes frantically around his little bedroom. It was a dream. It was only a dream. He was in the same shirt, the same boxers; his throat had the same strange dried out feeling. No time had passed.
He shifts against something heavy resting on his stomach. He fights the panic telling him he’s trapped. He rolls, a strangled noise escaping his throat. “Who’s there?”
He hears giggling, then a little boy’s head pops up from the blankets. Gabi watches him with big brown eyes, nose curled in a wide smile.
“Oh my god,” Henry breathes, relief washing over him fast enough to make him dizzy. “Oh my god, Gabi. You scared me.” Henry takes another deep breath the sinister dream voice still ringing in his ears. “S-So, what? Is it... is it reading time?”
Gabi nods, dark curls bouncing.
“M’kay, okay...” Henry scrubs his face with his hands. “Okay Gabi, can I take a shower first? Get some food, then reading time. Sound good, Gabi?”
The little boy nods and runs off, leaving the bedroom door wide open. Henry takes another moment to catch his breath before forcing himself upright. He was dizzy, but not nauseous. And, thankfully, he didn’t hear any footsteps coming in his direction.
So Henry forces himself to standing and walks to the bathroom, closing but not locking the door behind him. Something told him he wouldn’t be able to handled being locked in. He leaned down and turned the taps to hot. One hand pressed to the door, Henry stripped and stepped under the spray.
And then, he stopped.
Water soaked his hair, ran ribbons over his eyes and nose, catching the corners of his mouth. He closed his eyes and, hand pressed to the tile to guide him, sat down. He leaned against the wall, toes pressed to the edge of the plastic curtain. Henry sniffed to keep the water out of his nose. It sounded like he was crying to anyone who cared to overhear. There weren’t any tears left to cry. He’d felt the last one leave his body around five that morning, when the first weak rays of grey light stretched across his bedroom ceiling. He didn’t know what time it was now and didn’t care. The time didn’t matter now.
Carter knew he was a pet. Former, runaway, escaped, yes, but still someone’s pet. Carter knew the source of all Henry’s quirks. Why he didn’t have any childhood memories, didn’t talk about what his life before was like, why he was still sensitive about blow jobs and biting and his hair.
Carter knew just about everything now.
Why would anyone want you, just as you are?
Henry wilted against the tile wall, his heart crumbling to dust inside his chest. Carter knew and Noelle had told him. Noelle could have told every person on campus and it wouldn’t had hurt as bad as Henry hurt right then.
Henry opened his eyes, water blurring his vision. It mattered. Nothing else matter anymore -- not his chemistry degree, not the bar, not his stomach growling -- but that. Carter mattered to him. He mattered so much. Henry couldn’t imagine moving, knowing that it wouldn’t take him to Carter’s dorm anymore.
Because Carter wouldn’t want him anymore.
Why would he?
Henry blindly reached out for the taps turning the water off. He sat in the bathtub for a long while, marked only by his shaking breaths in and out. His hands trembled as he stood and pulled himself out of the shower, as he reached for and dropped his towel on the floor. He stared at it for a moment, considering just leaving it and laying down on the floor with it.
Henry shakes the thought away, picking it up and drying off before wrapping it around his waist and ducking back across the hall to his bedroom. He changed into a tee shirt and a new sweatpants, then dropped face-first onto the bed. His hands hung limply from when they draped over his pillow, all the feeling and tension gone out of his bones. Exhaustion and hurt crashes over him again, and Henry feels tears bubble up and over again. Soon, his shoulders are shaking from the effort of breathing, from the wracking, painful sobs coursing through him.
He hears the bedroom door open, a small gasp, then running footsteps back down the hall. He remembers Gabi, reading time, and cries harder.
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Secrets ~ 3
Warnings: noncon sexual acts later in series
This is dark!Bucky and dark!Steve and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: A buried family secret comes to light thrusting you to the forefront of an old alliance.
Note: Finished this before work! Hope y’all enjoy.
Thank you. Love you guys!
As always, if you can, please leave some feedback, like and reblog <3
There was a flurry of activity around the jet waiting on the tarmac. You sat in the car, still cuffed, trapped, as you watched the crew hurry. It was barely noon yet and you were exhausted. Barnes returned and slid in the other side. You ignored him and kept your eyes out the window.
“Shouldn’t be long before we can board,” He said. “You look unhappy, your highness. Is there any way I can help?”
“Uncuff me, let me go home and live my life,” You snapped dryly. “That would about do it.”
“Get it all out now.” He chided. “The king won’t stand for your lip.”
“‘The king won’t stand for your lip’,” You mimicked and grunted as you leaned a bit too heavily on your hands. “I really don’t care what he wants and I certainly don’t care what he thinks of me. All the better if he hates me.”
“This isn’t about feelings. He will marry you regardless of his personal bias,” Barnes assured. “It will be easier, however, if he has a reason to tolerate you.”
“Do you really live by the forgotten words just because they were written down?” You scoffed. “You know how absurd that is? I’ve seen the stories, he could marry anyone--”
“No, he can’t,” Barnes intoned. “Those forgotten words are not forgotten. The kingdom remembers the agreement. They remember how much we gave to the flagging country of Ecklun. They remember we were promised a princess.” He looked at you. “You. We paid our dues and we expect a return on it.”
You shook your head, finding it hard not to laugh sardonically. It was all backwards. This was the shit you read about in textbooks or fantasy novels. It was bullshit.
“Would it disqualify me to tell you I’m not pure?” You snickered. “To tell you I didn’t save myself for the king I never gave a second thought about?”
“It doesn’t bother me and surely not him.” Barnes shrugged. “He’s had his own fun, but I would advise you to not be so flippant about it with him. He is not one for cheek.”
“If I am who you say I am, I will do as I like.” You snarled.
“Very well. I can’t stop you. I can only warn you against it.” He pushed his head back and sighed. “You know your history, you recall how kings can be.”
You sat on the plane in a plush leather seat, white and pristine like the rest of the interior. Barnes was across from you, eyes closed and arms crossed over his chest. Once you’d taken off, he’d quit checking his watch and settled into the flight without a second glance at you. You couldn’t do the same.
Aside from your anxiety and anger over all that had transpired, your hands remained bound behind you and kept you from leaning back or getting comfortable in the least. You teetered on the edge of the seat and glared at him.
“What do you want, Duchess?” He asked without lifting an eyelid.
“Can’t you at least take these off?” You grumbled. “My shoulders are killing me.”
He shrugged and said nothing.
“You can’t expect me to sit through this whole flight like this.” You hissed. “Shit, you don’t treat me like a duchess or whatever you claim I am.”
His eyes opened sharply and he uncrossed his arms. He sat forward, his jaw ticked as he inhaled deeply through his nose.
“You will not use that language further,” He warned. “Understood. It is unladylike. Unseemly. I won’t tolerate it and neither will the king.”
“Language? I’m sorry I don’t talk in iambic pentameter.” You scowled.
“You know what I mean. No more shits, fucks, and all that.” He seemed disgusted by the words on his tongue. “If you feel the need to moan, pretend you are a child.”
“Oh, gosh, will do, mister,” You said dryly. He raised his brow and his nostrils flared. “If I promise to watch my mouth, will you undo these?”
He blinked and checked the time again. He seemed to weigh the option as he angled his head one way then the other.
“Well, I can’t have you arriving in cuffs, I suppose,” He stood and reached into his pocket as he neared. “But don’t think I won’t bring them back out if needed. You understand?”
“Yes, Mr. Barnes, I swear to be a good little duchess,” You quipped.
He huffed and pulled you forward as he reached around you to grasp the cuffs. They came free and he drew away. He backed up as he put the key back in his pocket and dropped the cuffs in the empty seat next to him. He leaned an elbow on the rest and held his chin as he watched you. You sat back as you stretched your arms in front of your, turning your hands and rolling your wrists.
“We have a lot of work to do,” He ran his fingertips along his short stubble. “A lot.”
Time seemed to stand still. When you arrived, it was morning in Astrania, the rest of the day lost in the difference. A man in black led you down the steps to the tarmac, Barnes behind you, and another man. You were taken into the airport, away from the general public, and guided through the corridors meant for employees only.
Barnes came up to walk beside you. A sudden tide of displacement washed over you. It was all real. You were far from home, stranded, trapped, in a land you didn’t know. With a title you didn’t want. For a purpose you dreaded.
The man in front of you stopped short before a door and turned back to look at Barnes.
“Cameras are here.” He said curtly.
“Already?” Barnes frowned.
“They must’ve seen the royal jet circling,” The man replied. “Apparently, they’ve been on alert since your departure.”
Barnes sighed and nodded. He unbuttoned the single button of his jacket and pulled it off. “Just make sure you keep them away.” He opened his jacket and turned to you. “Here.” He tried to shroud your head in his blazer and you dodged it. The man behind you blocked you. “Come on. There’s gonna be at least a dozen photogs out there and you far from ready for an appearance.”
“Are you serious?” You snorted.
“The longer we wait, the more will be there,” He said. “Now come on.”
He threw his jacket over you and you caught it. It smelled like expensive cologne and sweat. He wrapped it around you so that you could barely see and grabbed your arm to guide you onward. Unsteady, unsure, you let him usher you ahead and a heavy metal door opened, a streak of light visibly past the hem of the jacket as you could barely see your own feet.
A buzz of voices and the shutter of cameras greeted you outside and you clutched the fabric tighter. Barnes kept on, a few warnings to the vulture-like photogs as the way was cleared ahead of him by your stalwart escorts. A car door opened and you were angled inside quickly.
You caught yourself on the seat and felt a nudge to move over. Barnes climbed in as you righted yourself and the door closed heavily behind him. He pulled his jacket away and shook it out as the tinted windows flashed with the cameras outside. He grumbled and folded his jacket in his lap.
“Well,” He bemoaned. “That does change things.” He shifted on the seat. “Driver. Go on.”
“What do you mean?” You asked.
“Your arrival will be a headline by the next hour,” He explained. “That means we have even less time to get you… ready.”
“Oh, such a tragedy.” You snipped.
“Trust me, duchess, while you insist on making a mockery of this, you do not want to face the media without preparation,” The car began to move and ran his fingers through his dark hair. “They will tear you apart. What matters is their perception not your intent.”
“Ah, is that your job then?” You wondered. “You’re supposed to make a lady of me.”
“I am to educate you,” He insisted. “A tall and no doubt foolhardy task,” He growled. “But my king gave me an order and I will do what I can to mold you into at least a semblance of a lady.”
Lush green fields turned to rolling hills. You watched the scenery, almost forgetting where you were and why. The picturesque countryside awed you and sent a chill through you. It truly felt like you had stepped back in time; even as if you had arrived on an entirely different planet.
Trees planted in careful lines closed in around the road and led to a row of tall hedges and you stopped before a gate of curled metal, topped by sharp points. It opened after the driver gave a short honk. The long drive was laid with mosaic stones and curved before the rounded steps of a great mansion. The double doors at the top were decorated with golden knockers and the handles were wrought and twisted elegantly. The car came to a halt and Barnes, as was his habit, checked his watch.
Your door was opened by the driver as Barnes climbed out the other side. He rounded the vehicle and beckoned you towards the steps. He walked beside you and you could sense him watching you from the corner of your eyes. The doors opened as you approached the stairs and liveried servants appeared from the other side as they welcomed you with eager smiles.
“All is prepared duchess,” He gestured ahead. “The palace has been readied for your seclusion. You are the only task left.”
“What a welcome,” You sneered. “I might be unlearned in the habit of nobility, but I don’t think it is usual for one to speak to a duchess in that tone.”
He smiled and took your arm, hooking it through his as he urged you up the stairs.
“The king has permitted me full reign in your training,” He said as he guided you through the open doors. “He will forgive me my own missteps if I can prevent your own.”
You dragged your feet as you entered the vast foyer. The floor was of white marble veined with gold, the decor shared a similar color scheme, and portraits hung from the walls, vast likeness of women in garb dating from the earliest medieval periods to the last century. You detached from Barnes and looked around.
“This is the Palace of Regia,” Barnes explained from behind you. “These are your foremothers. The queens of Astrania, each of whom took their pre-marital seclusion here. Each who married and served their kings proudly.”
You recalled the tradition, common to many countries but mostly retired since Victoria reigned over England and much of the globe. You turned back to Barnes and blinked.
“Two weeks,” Barnes answered. “Two weeks to ready you for the king’s presence. You will be taken to the capital at the end and attend your engagement party so that you can acquaint yourself with your future husband. Your wedding is scheduled the next week.”
“Engagement party? Wedding?” You echoed. “That’s… three weeks. Not even a month.”
“Yes, so we should get to work.” He neared and grabbed your shoulders. He pushed them back. “Stand straight.” He poked your chin up with two fingers. “Head high, shoulders back.”
“What are you--”
He rounded you and his hand gripped your waist and squeezed. He shushed you and ran his other hand up your spine.
“You must hold yourself like a queen. Mind your posture, your highness.” He said.
You pulled away from him harshly. “What are you doing?”
You were shocked as you felt a slap on your ass and he swiftly caught your hips and drew you back to stand before him.
“I am trying to save you a lot of grief.” He said. “Stay.” He bid as if you were a dog. He released you and came around in front of you. “As I said, head up, shoulders back.”
He stared until you obeyed. You sighed and stood straight as you could. He grinned.
“Let me tell you, Duchess, the cameras, the public, they will judge you even more harshly so you want to give them as little ammunition as you can so that they cannot turn their muzzles on you.” He girded and grabbed your arms, adjusting them before his hands settled on either side of your neck. He tutted. “You cannot hang your shoulders like a hunchback.”
“You do.” He insisted. “Now,” He removed his hands and walked backwards until he was near the wall. “Walk to me.” You squinted and he lowered his chin. He chuckled and waved his hand to beckon you forward. “Come on.”
You rolled your eyes but took a step. He hissed. “Keep your head up. Shoulders straight. Don’t sway like that.” Each footfall had another comment until you were right before him. He gestured you to turn around and he kicked your feet closer together and again touched your hips. “Let them know you’re a woman but do not flaunt it. Walk as if there is a string running straight through you. Lift your feet.”
He nudged you and you began to walk again. He followed not far behind and you heard his displeased grumbles. He fixed your shoulders, your hips again, told you to keep your feet closer together, head up!
You were growing more and more annoyed by the second. You were tired. You hadn’t even had a chance to register everything. You were in a palace, marching beneath the eyes of dozens of dead queens, far from home and all you had ever known. It was all so foreign, so different, so startlingly unfamiliar. You hated it.
“Enough!” You spun to face him and he stopped short. “Holy shit! I haven’t even--”
He grabbed your hand and smacked it like you were a child. “Language.” He warned.
You tugged your hand back and gaped at him. “What the fuck--”
He took your hand again and smack it harder. “Your highness, let us not be children.”
“Don’t touch me--” You tore yourself away. “You’re fucking crazy.”
“If you insist on acting like a child, I will bend you over and spank you like one.” He said. “Now, stand straight.” He crossed his arms. “And mind your mouth.” You stared at him, stunned. He raised his brows and nodded to you. “Don’t make me count, Duchess.”
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Animes Watched Since Quarentine Started ~
So I just sat down and realized... I have developed a problem X’D BUT it could be worse! So I figured I would share for those looking for something new to watch! Also, what have y’all been watching!?
Full list below the line + reviews! * No spoilers, I promise! I wouldn’t do you dirty like that! * ;-*
This show took me by surprise, I had no idea gambling could be so thrilling! Plus let us take a moment to appreciate the facial expressions animated in this show! Beautiful, just beautiful. Beware though, this anime gets dark, and sick, and you will definitely forget to breath at times. It is a thorough joy.
3. Steins;Gate 0
Honestly, Steins;Gate + Stains; Gate 0 is one of the best animes I have EVER seen. Legit. Also, It is one of the best stories of time travel I have ever encountered. The way it is explained in the anime is brilliant! Compelling, thrilling, emotional, so much amazingness. I watched in chronological order instead of season order which I really enjoyed. Also one of the most moving anime endings I have seen. All the characters you will fall in love with, and their character development is one heck of a ride. A must watch, 100%.
4. Fullmetal Alchemist
This was a nostalgia back flash for me! It was been years and I felt like reliving it all over again. Which I am glad I did, cus boy was there a lot of heavy themes and topics I did not pick up on when I was younger! One of the biggest themes was this existential undertone throughout the whole show that explored the ideas of humanity, authority, morality and race.
5. Fullmetal Alchemist Conqueror of Shamballa
A must follow up to the original FMA series. It just ties the whole story up in a pretty bow. I remember when I first saw this movie, it was my first encounter this the idea of multiple dimensions and it just blew my mind. The whole this felt so exciting and surreal, and I loved the addition of our timeline playing a part. Watching FMA + Movie over again leaves me a bit torn on which is better, Brotherhood or first adaptation. I think both should be watched for a full understanding of the lore. The first anime series definitely has some holes and details missing, but it’s also so nostalgic and they really give you a better development of characters and feels than Brotherhood does, as they rush through that to get back to the main plot.... so grab some popcorn and watch both and just enjoy the ride :)
6. Angels of Death
This anime has such a unique premise!! And morally it is just all sorts of twisted, which I love! The music is fantastic in it and all the characters you encounter are very unique and fun... it’s dark though, don’t get me wrong.. and twisted. BUT a fun ride if you are down for that kind of adventure!
WHOOOO BUDDY! If you want to go on a journey THIS IS ONE! It’s a mind bending premise and each episode ends in so much suspense. I literally could’ve watched the whole thing in one day. This anime is like a jar of Pringles, once you start you just can’t stop!
8. Death Parade
This anime gets the prize for the most misleading opening ever! X’D But it is such a BOP Please watch if you can. The anime overall is a joy, its very thought provoking and touches on the darker topics of death and mortality. Who is really good? Who is evil? Where do they seamlessly blend into each other? Besides the premise being so unique and tantalizing, the artwork is breathtaking! The background and environments the characters exist in are gorgeous. As an artist and a writer, I appreciate this anime on so many levels.
9. Sekkou Boys
Oh god, this anime is a joy. Just pure, clean joy T.T The episode are VERY short so you could finish the whole thing in an evening. But if you are an artist, a Renaissance history lover, or a J-pop fan, you will especially appreciate this joy of a creation. Watch it for your soul, you will feel better afterwards.
10. Kokoro Connect
This is a very intriguing coming of age story to say the least. There is an element of fantasy/science fiction that comes into the picture that stirs all sorts of trouble for our dear group of friends. It makes you really reflect your own intra- and interpersonal relationships and how we perceive and interact with one another. Overall a fun trip to go on.
11. Occultic; Nine
HOLD ONTO YOUR HORSES CUS THIS ANIME IS FAST! Omgsh, if you watch in Japanese like I did, get ready to have tired eyes cus the pace and speech of this anime is like nothing I have encountered before, but it is soooo much fun! It is mystery combined with the supernatural. It’s one of those animes where there is a lot of characters involved and some how everyone is connected in some way, like Baccano! if you have seen it. I would say to watch this AFTER you watch Steins;Gate if you have any interests because it is written by the same writers and there is little things that reference back to Steins;Gate which are really fun to pick up on.
I didn’t know what to expect when I started this series. It is not the kind of art style I am normally drawn towards but I am soo glad I watched. The characters are all really fun and cute! Especially the puppy!! <3 You deal with psychological stress as well as a nice mix of slice of life all in the midst of a zombie apocalypse! It’s a combination I never knew I wanted in my life, but now I am glad I have it. Don’t let the cute animation style fool you... it gets DARK. I was full out trying not to sob at one point, but I think that just shows how many levels are involved in this story. Have fun with this ride my friends <3
13. My Hero Academia
GUYS ARE YOU FREAKING READY!? This was the story I never knew I needed in my life, but now I don’t know how I lived without it. Dear god, I binged this one so hard I think I forgot to breath for a week. All of the characters are so dynamic and the overall tone of the series is so uplifting and positive. If you are in a depressive slump just turn this one on. I promise you, you will be smiling and feeling better in no time! It is so motivational as well. Humor, action, suspense, thrilling, emotional- I don’t think there is anything they don’t touch on. Uhg gosh, I could prob write a dissertation on all the themes and undertones expressed in this work. I promise you, this is a journey you will not regret taking <3
14. My Hero Academia: Two Heroes
I’ll be honest, I think sometimes series’ movies miss the mark, or just feel lackluster, like a power hour of filler. This one my friends.... DID NOT. I was really glad I watched it too, because I felt as though it added so much to the main story line. Plus you get to see college years All Might... so bonus! X3 But seriously, it is a very fun movie and it gives you more background to the world you wouldn’t otherwise get.
First off... THE ART. This anime’s art is so unique and fits so well into the overall narrative. But honestly, I feel like this anime is a work of art, it feels like an old folk tale/dark fairy tale you would elders talking about in a pub late at night. The narrative never went where I expected it to, and by the end I was so morally conflicted I didn’t know what to do with myself. It’s a dark fantasy that really explores all the little nitty gritty grey areas that are often passed over in stories. There were definitely a few scenes that made me so uncomfortable I was squirming. Human nature is truly a sight to behold, and this anime shows it to you.
16. Kabaneri of the Iron Fortress
The Feudal Japan- Post apocalyptic- Steam punk journey you never knew existed! Gosh this anime is amazing. First off the art is breathtaking and many scenes reminded me of Miyazaki. Second, the music is SO GOOD. It’s a concept on the undead that I find to be very unique and truly thrilling. Most of the anime takes place on a train which is such an intriguing element. You also go into human fear of the unknown and how our nature can truly be our biggest hindrance. The characters are great and you get to the point of really rooting for them. Get ready for this feast for your senses!
17. Kabaneri of the Iron Fortress Movie: Battle of Unato
After watching the series I felt like my heart was still missing something. Honestly the whole thing felt like it went by too fast. I still wanted more! This movie helped fill the void in my heart. You get to see relationship begin to form between characters as well as more insight into kabane and all their abilities. Standing alone, this movie is a really fun adventure and gives more insight into the state Japan is in overall.
So THERE YOU HAVE IT! I hope you might have found some new things to watch. I would love to see others lists of things they have watched, feel free to leave in the comments! Or if you have watched any of these, I would love to hear your thoughts! Let’s chat <3
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Wait For Me? - Pietro x Reader(f)
Authors Notes: Okay so my last fic was super heavy and angsty and y'all made it pretty clear that y’all weren’t into that. So, that’s why I made the poll asking what you’d like to read. This was one of the requests. (I won’t get to all of them but I’ll do what I can) These will mostly be drabbles but a few may turn into one-shots. Hope y'all enjoy!
Word Count: 900+
Notes/Warnings: Fluff, a teeny tiny bit of angst if you look hard enough, and kissing
He stood, leaning against the post, grinning as he watched you gather the eggs from the large hen house.
You looked up and blushed when you caught his eye. “What?”
He shook his head, “Just wondering when you’ll give me the time of day.”
You rolled your eyes and moved to the next hen box, placing the eggs into your basket, “You’re the King’s only nephew, everyone gives you the time of day.”
“But they don’t matter.” He stepped closer to you, taking the basket from your arms. He put a hand to your cheek and brushed away a stray hair that had fallen from your braid.
You savored the feeling of his thumb rubbing at your jawline. But this wasn’t going to last. “You know as well as I do that we can never be together,” You reminded him.
His face fell and so did his hand. “Why do you always bring that up?”
You scooped up your basket and walked near the front of the castle’s barn, “Because it’s true and you have a mind for fantasies.”
“I have a mind for love and truth.” He walked up behind you and pressed his chest to your back.
“You are next in line for the throne. The council will never let you marry a servant girl, and that is the truth.” You couldn’t face him, not with the look of grief on your face.
“When I am King the council will have to do as I command them.” He tried to argue.
But you found the flaw in his response. “So, we wait until you are king then?”
Pietro knew that he was, at the very least, a decade from wearing the crown, as the King was in good health. He sighed and walked to the barn doors and looked out across the castle yard, his royal blue clothing a stark contrast to the grey Sokovian sky.
The rain was normal and practically a daily occurrence but with the weight of the conversation, it felt like the world was trying to make things worse.
You watched as Pietro’s shoulders slumped.
“I don’t know what to do.” He confessed, honestly.
You felt bad for bringing it up, you hated seeing him upset. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“No, it’s okay. You’re right. I can’t expect you to wait that long.”
That got your attention. You stood in front of him, which meant you were in the rain but you didn’t care. “I absolutely would wait for you Pietro, I just assumed you’d fall in love with someone else by the time you took the crown. If you’ll have me I’ll be yours, I just ask that you really consider the future. What if the council forces you to marry someone before you’re allowed to take the crown, what if you meet someone at those fancy balls your Uncle throws?”
Pietro stepped into the rain, flush against you. He shook his head. “How could I ever love anyone other than you? Y/N, you are my whole life, I would reject the crown if I could. I swear, on my life and the life that has been laid out for me, that I will never love anyone else.” He took your face In his hands and kissed you right there in the mud and rain. He tugged you along as he walked backwards back into the barn. “I love you, Y/N.”
“I love you, too,” You replied with a tear in your eye.
He frowned when he saw it, “Tears for me, my love?”
He smiled, “Marry me?”
You looked at him confused.
He chuckled. “No one has to know. And then, when I have the crown, you can live with me in the palace. But until then, I’ll buy you a house in the country, and you can live there, free of needing to work.”
Your mouth had fallen slack in shock at his proposal. “I- but how-”
He cut you off with a quick chuckle, “I may not be King yet but, I can still afford to take care of you.”
“You mean it?” You smiled and the tear rolled down your cheek.
He wiped it away. “With all that I am.”
“Then, yes. Yes, I will marry you!” You jumped and wrapped your arms around him, kissing him.
He held you close then spun you around. “Yes?” he checked again.
You nodded quickly, “Yes!” and went back to kissing him.
* * * * * *
Eleven years later
You tended to the garden outside your cottage. The day was surprisingly beautiful, the sun was out and the late spring weather was clear and warm.
The sound of a whinnie pulled you from your thoughts and you sood up from amidst the greens to see a half a dozen men on horses riding your way.
At the front rode Pietro, his crown sitting on his head, a perfect fit. He smiled wide when he saw you and you returned the affection.
A rush of wind from behind you and you watched as your son ran to his father. “Papa!”
Pietro dismounted his spotted horse and caught Aleksander in his arms. He scooped him up and spun him around with a laugh. “How you’ve grown! How old are you now, three?”
Alex laughed, “No, Papa. I’m eight and a half, now!”
“Eight and a half? When did that happen?” He feigned shock before he broke and laughed with his son.
“You just saw me last month, how did you forget?” Alex asked as he touched Pietro’s new crown.
You walked up to your little family and Pietro put Alex down, giving him the crown to try on, and pulled you into a strong kiss.
“Hello, my love,” He greeted you. “Ready to come home?”
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Cassandra Appreciation Week Day 5: Happiness
Hey guys! Here’s my one-shot for Cassandra Appreciation Week day 5: happiness. So, I took a little bit of a liberty with this one, it’s a bit experimental and in first person. I’m honestly not too sure how I feel about it, but it was fun to play around with! Also, it does loosely connect to my one-shot for day 1 (here on AO3). Anyway, I hope y’all enjoy!
Here’s the AO3 link
The word count is 2,475
And a brief summary is: Cassandra makes good use of the journal that Rapunzel gave her as a birthday gift.
The only thing of any concern is some light cursing. Enjoy!
Wow. This is really not my speed.
So, a journal. I don’t really know what to write, I’m not a...journal-ly person. Raps is, sure, but not me. This stupid, leather-bound book was a birthday gift from her, though, so I want to make sure I use it.
Not that Raps would ever snoop into my private life (at least not intrusively enough to read this) but if she did, I hope that last part wouldn’t hurt her feelings. I love the gift, really. It’s only stupid because it’s frusturating me that I don’t know what to write.
I guess I can start with where I got this journal. Like I said, it was a birthday gift from Raps. My birthday was a little under a week ago, now. I didn’t even know it was my birthday, but I turned twenty-eight. I feel old. Raps threw me a dinner. There was good food, cake, and alcohol. I fucking hate parties, but I love my friends, and it was only the five of us. Raps and Eugene got me this book, and a quill, and a knife, and some clothes and other fun things. It was really sweet of them, honestly. They didn’t need to get me anything, I wouldn’t have known the difference. Varian got me a bag of rocks, basically. Wait, that made me sound ungrateful. They’re beautiful rocks, and it was a cute gift. Or are they stones? Or gems?? Or crystals?? Fuck, I’m not a rock expert. But whatever they are, they’re pretty, and he found them all around the kingdom. It’ll be like having Corona with me when I leave again. Oh, and Lance got me a bag of Monty’s candy. Score.
So, I don’t really know what to use this for. I guess if I go back on the road I can...write or doodle in here like Raps did when we were younger. I mean, I’ll probably write, if anything. She’s all about doodles. I wonder how many notebooks she’s filled up by now.
When I asked her what she thought I should do with the journal yesterday, she told me to write about the things that make me happy. That’s a good place to start, I suppose. I’m not her, though. She could probably write a novel and a half on what makes her happy--but not me. Most things make me angry, and I could probably write a novel on that. Screaming children make me angry, although they’re cute when they’re quiet. Parties and social interaction make me angry. People who pronounce ‘vase’ as ‘vayhse’ make me angry (it’s ‘vahz’). Being awake makes me angry. Being asleep makes me angry. Freeloaders and thieves make me angry--reformed ones are okay, though. Most people make me angry. Especially Fitzherbert. Don’t get me wrong, I love him...sometimes.
But I’m supposed to be talking about things that make me happy. Honestly, I’m hard pressed to think of many, but I can think of some.
My weapons make me happy. I could stare at them for hours, in all honesty--I have so many (thanks Dad), and they’re all beautiful. I love polishing them, and admiring them, and of course...using them. Not in a creepy killer way or anything. Dueling is just really, really fun, and let me just say--I’ve made good use of my Fitzherbert sparring dummy since coming home.
My favorite weapon is my halberd. I keep it well cared for, sharp, polished, and shiny. It was the first weapon Dad gave me, for my eighth birthday. At that point, it towered over me, but not anymore--I’ve had it twenty years now, and it’s rather proportionate. I mean, it’s taller than me because it’s supposed to be, but seriously...watching eight year old me trudge around with it was probably a sight to see. Anyway, he chose it as my first weapon because it’s the weapon of choice for Corona’s guard. I was eight when he started really training me with them. Before, I’d sat on the sidelines and watched, but by eight, I was a full-fledged trainee. People thought he was crazy for raising his daughter to be a guard from such a young age, but I’m glad for it. I wouldn’t be able to protect myself otherwise.
I love all my weapons, though. I couldn’t take my halberd with me on the road, so I took two of my daggers and my favorite sword instead. Oh, how I wanted to take my mace, but it was too heavy to justify. My favorite dagger, I’ve had since I was sixteen. I had a few before it, but my favorite one is absolutely beautiful. It’s probably the most valuable thing that I own. It was a gift, too, a blade carved of steel and the handle of beautiful gold. It’s badass--the handle is carved into this weird...I don’t know, dragon? Lizard? Sea serpent? Whatever it is, it looks cool, and my name is engraved on the blade. The sheath is encrusted with small gems. It’s not from my dad, but from an ‘anonymous castle staff’ or something who leaves me gifts every year. I don’t know why they bother or how they afford it, but I love it. It’s not the most practical, because of the handle, it’s more ornamental. I don’t usually use it in sparring or fights. I didn’t bring it on the road with me, as much as it pained me to leave it home, because of its obvious, glaring value. So, it was nice to see it again when I got back here.
Hmm...I’ve been talking about my weapons for a while. What else makes me happy?
Books. I love books. I grew up with them as, well, my best friends. I was privileged enough to be educated, and educated well. I was reading fluently by the time I was six or seven, and when I wasn’t training, working or otherwise helping my father, you could be sure to find my nose buried in a book. One of the biggest perks of growing up in a castle is the library. I mean, usually, servants can read the book if they please and are able, but aren’t allowed to take the books out with them, or anything like that. I guess Queen Arianna likes me, because I was allowed. My father said it was a special privilege, since I was a learning child, and she valued the concept of book-smart young girls. Anyway, since I started working, I don’t use the library as much anymore--not because I dislike reading nowadays, but because I buy my own books.
Funny story, here. Growing up, I read a lot of fantasy books, about...you know, damsels in distress and princesses who were saved by handsome knights in shining armor. I used to think that maybe, just maybe, if I trained hard enough, I could be the one to bring the lost princess home, and maybe even…
Well, a rogue thief beat me to it. And it wasn’t even on purpose.
Anyway, back to happy--animals make me happy, too. It doesn’t matter what kind, although I am sort of biased towards a certain owl and two particular horses. I don’t know what it is about animals, but despite the fact that they don’t speak our language, they’re a lot more capable of love and empathy than most humans are. There are a lot of great Coronan horses, but two are particularly dear to me. I remember when Max and Fidella were born, actually. They’re pretty close in age, though I think Max is a tad older--he was born when I was fourteen, and she when I was fifteen. Max was fathered by my father’s previous horse, and by the time he was weaned from his mother, it was clear he’d be taking his father’s place as the Captain’s horse. Fidella was actually born to my childhood favorite horse. I learned to ride on her mother, so it seems only appropriate to me that she became the one to accompany me on my journey. Her mother was a beautiful mare named Eliza. Eliza was quite similar to Fidella in color and stature--she certainly takes after her mother, not her father. Eliza was my first equine love, if you will. For a kid without any friends, a faithful horse can fill the gap. We had a lot of fun together, but she got sick and died a year or two after birthing Fidella. It broke me, honestly. Horses can live to thirty years, and she was only twelve at the time of her death.
Right, happy. Oh people, I guess. I mean, as I said before, a lot of people piss me off, but some of them are more than okay. Dad is pretty great, and it’s been nice to be back and see him again. I didn’t appreciate him as much as I should have in my childhood--but then, isn’t that the way it goes? Raps is amazing too, and so is the rest of the gang. I don’t know where I’d be today if it weren’t for their fighting so hard to save me and, honestly, I don’t want to imagine. I’d probably be dead. Despite my...occasional bitterness, especially before, I’ve had some of my best times by their side. Actually, I’ve had nearly all of my best times by their side. Before Rapunzel came back and, well, pretty much forced me to be her friend, I had no one. I’m glad she did. If it weren’t for her, I probably would have died without letting anyone in, without having a single friend outside my father, Owl, my weapons and my books. But Rapunzel is…Rapunzel is impossible to resist. I learned eventually that there was no use in even trying to resist her--and she ended up being the best thing that had ever happened to me. She’s the first person I let in, the reason that I know what it means to be a friend (and how to become one), and the sole reason my friendship extended to Eugene, Lance, and Varian.
I mean...I had some dark times. Some really, really dark times. Happiness was the furthest thing from my mind. Instead, I was enraged, jealous, bitter, cold, and most of all, I was hurting. At that point, if you’d asked me, Rapunzel was the worst thing that had happened to me, even though deep down inside I loved her and cared for her more than I ever would have admitted at that point. I did some bad things, some horrible things. In my greed, in my...selfishness and lust for power, I committed some fucking heinous crimes. I hurt all of the people who were most dear to me. I almost caused the downfall of Corona--and the entire world quite easily could have followed.
Yet still, when it was all said and done, Rapunzel still saw the light in me. Eugene, Lance, Varian, my dad, they all still saw the light in me. Despite all the pain and destruction, despite all the fear and uncertainty and my horrid crimes...they forgave me. They loved me.
I hated myself, and I wanted so badly for them to hate me, too. Maybe it’s what lesser people would have done, or maybe it’s what they should have done. I’m still not quite sure. Either way, they didn’t. They chose the path of forgiveness.
That’s what love is.
Rapunzel likes to say that I was never a bad person, and that I just lost my way. I hope that that is true, but honestly, I have no way of knowing. When I think of that time in my life, I’m detached. The memories are vivid and yet blurred. I don’t see that woman as me. I don’t. I can’t believe what I did, that my own two hands committed such offenses. I see that version of myself as a lost, sad, broken woman, descending further and further down a dangerous, shadowy path that would have ended in nothing but pain and destruction. I’d given up on myself. But my friends? They never gave up on me. They saved me from that.
Whether I was truly bad or just horribly lost is beside the point, because that’s not me anymore. It haunts me every waking moment, but it’s in the past. It hangs permanently in the back of my head, but I try to push it away, to ignore it. I’ve changed drastically. I now realize that I have, and always have had, so much to be grateful for. I still yearn for more. It’s almost as if it’s in my nature. But if it’s destined to come to me, then it will be manifested through my hard work. If it’s not, at least I tried.
Most of the time, for me, happiness is hard to come by. Honestly, it is--even now, even though I realize I have much to be grateful for. It’s not such a bad thing to me, though, because when I do feel happiness...it’s exhilarating. It’s life-altering, and the taste of it sticks to my tongue like Monty’s taffy. When I do feel happiness, it makes all of the pain and all of the suffering that I’ve endured worth it.
So, what is happiness to me?
Happiness...happiness is sharpening my weapons on a rainy Tuesday afternoon. Happiness is curling up by the fire, nose deep within a book, reading like my life depends on it. Happiness is dark, windy, winding roads far from home, and the shiver that runs down your back when you realize, ‘I’m deciding my own destiny’. Happiness is a Coronan stable. Happiness is flying from town to town on horseback, meeting new people. Happiness is hunting with Owl, and sitting by the fire with Fidella. Happiness is a cup of ale, a shot of whiskey, and warm food. Happiness is laughing with friends, and melting into their arms after years apart. Happiness is the fact that you converse as if you hadn’t been away at all. Happiness is taking the horses out to the wall with Raps, and bickering with Eugene. Happiness is helping a greasy-handed Varian with one of his many ambitious projects, or screaming at Lance for eating your lunch. Happiness is having tea with Dad, and the prideful joy on his face when he pulls back from a hug. Happiness is loving, whether things, animals, or people. Happiness is being loved in return.
Most of all, happiness is being alive.
If it’s true that we only get one life, I’m happy that I’ve had the privilege and opportunity to spend mine the way that I have.
That’s all for today. It’s time for this girl to get some rest.
Until next time,
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can you recommend me anime? you always reblog cool things. 🥺
aw thank you! and yes of course i can:
kaguya sama: love is war (romcom.. once again i am begging y’all to watch this!! it’s a battle anime…of the minds! the one who confesses their love first loses. it’s is so entertaining and so so funny)
zombieland saga (comedy, cute girls doing cute things! in this case, zombie girls become idols headed by a very brazen manager voiced by mamoru miyano. i never watch the ‘cute girls doing cute things’ genre but this was so good!! i was sobbing at one point)
keep your hands off eizouken! (clown girls team up together to make anime!)
gekkan shoujo nozak-kun (romcom…hands-down one of the funniest shows i have ever seen, ever)
shouwa genroku rakugo shinjuu (the finest and most mature drama i have ever watched…it’s not even anime to me. an ex-convict finds inspiration from a master of comedic storytelling and devotes himself to a new life as his apprentice to study the performance art known as rakugo. it’s so beautiful and so lovingly crafted.)
samurai champloo (aka lofi hiphop beats, the anime…set in edo period japan focusing on the everyday adventures of a rowdy vagabond, a stoic ex-samurai, and a waitress! it’s all about the journey, not the destination, with this one. one of my all time favorites! just sit back and enjoy the ride)
haikyuu!! (sports! you will adopt ALL the boys)
jibaku shounen hanako kun (supernatural school and traditional myths)very charming art style and endearing characters!)
neon genesis evangelion (do you like your mecha topped with a heavy scoop of existentialism and teenage angst? it’s actually an incredible show and i highly recommend it!)
death note (i don’t need to say anything, but it’s a wild ride from start to finish)
fullmetal alchemist and brotherhood (no description needed! one of the best anime of all time….again, i hesitate to call this anime)
acca 13 (smooth slick government drama, political intrigue. a recent favorite of mine!)
banana fish (do you like new york and angst and your heart being ripped out?)
mob psycho 100 (shounen; just watch this. i would take a bullet for each and every single one of these characters, and the animation is *chef kiss*)
kimetsu no yaiba (one of the best shounen i’ve seen in recent years. fantasy with a traditional historical aesthetic to it, lovable characters, mind-blowing animation, and a stellar soundtrack. please watch!)
dr. stone (bill nye the apocalypse guy! the protagonist is so unique)
vinland saga (set in 11th century scandinavia, vikings, teenage angst, ‘you killed my father, prepare to die’, political intrigue, i loved it)
noragami (japanese mythology and folklore, the most endearing characters around and a funky soundtrack to match!)
anohana (do you like to sob uncontrollably into your pillow because you thought this was just a slice-of-life??)
fruits basket (slice-of-life with fantasy elements. very touching, cozy show about growth and healing! please watch, it’s so soothing)
kakushigoto (comedy; a father goes to whatever lengths necessary to ensure his daughter doesn’t find out he’s a manga artist ghskdjf it’s hilarious and also so so sweet
i could make this longer, but it’s getting too long as it is!! i really hope you find something on this list, anon! they’re all fantastic.
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the fallen soul | Poe Dameron x Reader | Part One
A/N: Is this incredibly sinful? I hope y’all like it anyway YA SINNNERS. I did research for this fic and I hope the confession is legit? I suppose it doesn’t matter too much simply bc Poe is half-BSing his way through it bc he don’t care!!
Rating: T but this WILL turn to M.
Warning: Religion. Confession. Men are trash except for Father Poe Dameron himself. Sexual themes.
Word count: 2,171, apparently!!
Summary: You’re a young, aristocratic woman in the early 19th century, destined for a life of empty marriage to an adulterous, uncaring man and multiple children that you won’t even get to raise. Your inappropriate thoughts of wanting more than is expected of you from imperfect people leads you to confession where you unknowingly meet the young, new priest, Father Dameron.
GIF credit: I thought I had this in my likes but I didn’t but it’s not mine and if anyone knows whose it is let me know!!
Tags: Open if anyone’s interested!
You looked around the ballroom with disinterest, watching primped up men kissing the hands of primped up ladies as if they actually paid them any respect, and you wondered which one was going to glide over to you with sugar in his mouth and greed in his eyes.
All you were to them was a dowry and a body to birth multiple children until you bore him a son.
Not even a bed warmer to them, since they would take mistresses in the day on a mattress you would sleep on in the night.
It was a pity; some of them were quite handsome and perhaps there was this foolish spark inside of you that wished to be the mistress of a man who showered you with jewels, but your parents would never allow it.
No, you were destined to be a wife and a mother, bored out of your mind as your husband had other women and your children were raised by other women.
Sometimes you would get into your own head a bit, falling into a silly fantasy of being in the arms of a man who was passionate about you, whose handsome face would gaze down at you, then disappear between your—
Then you would swiftly reprimand yourself for not only going against the purpose that was correct for you, but for thinking of things you had no business even having an inkling of an idea about.
Perhaps no suitor had intrigued you because your thoughts were too sinful, because you were too busy thinking about wrong things to appreciate what was meant for you.
Your parents would pester you with his father is the owner of the local dressmaker’s shop or he’s acquired a large plot of land with the intention of a large family and you would hum as if you were listening, but you never were.
Was it a sin to want passion? Adventure? Something that stirred the barest hint of desire in your otherwise bored disposition?
You supposed it was, otherwise no one would hide it.
Suitors would not act demure when they had taken many women before their wedding night, and those women would not act pure to new men when they had been bedded by the one to their right, and fathers would not lie about how they made their money, and mothers would not put arsenic in their vicious husbands’ tea.
You knew the fabrication that was needed to make the upper class seem better than the lower, yet you still felt guilty for your own thoughts of wanting more.
They all took what they wanted and hid it beneath expensive clothing and charming words.
Why couldn’t you do the same? Why did you merely do as you were told and continually berate yourself for letting your thoughts stray to something you enjoyed more?
Perhaps you were smarter than them and knew it was wrong to do these things even if you kept them hidden away.
When a fair-skinned man with light hair and beautiful yet untrustworthy eyes bowed to you and pressed a kiss to your knuckles, and all you could think of was how he had been with a woman you knew dearly, you felt dirty.
Like you knew, and felt, and thought, and wanted too much.
It seemed like there were too many people in the large room now, like they could hear your thoughts screaming in your head louder than their own.
You stuttered a few words about retiring for the night or you hoped you did as you turned and ran from the room.
The darkened hallway offered you solace, the music slightly muffled and no people watching you like they wanted to devour your very soul until there was nothing left of yourself.
Shouldn’t you want to be married? You would be with a man who would provide for you, to keep a roof over your head instead of your father, and your thoughts kept bouncing back and forth between disgust at your desires and comfort in them.
Perhaps you needed to tell someone about it.
Certainly not any of those men or women or your family, but someone who would tell you what to do without judgement; it was likely you only needed to get these thoughts out of your head to realize how ridiculous you were being and then you would be in your right mind.
You would not lie to society like you were pure when you were not. You would be the very model of a modern wife in honesty, not only in appearance.
And you would smile as your...husband fucked anyone but you when it wasn’t time to conceive a child.
You needed to say all of this out loud and you prayed to God it would fix your damaged mind.
That was it.
Dashing to the grand entrance of your father’s manor with your dark blue skirt gripped in your fingertips though the hem did not entirely reach the floor, you grabbed your cloak and fastened it around your neck securely.
Some servants might have questioned you, worried of your parents’ reactions if it was discovered you had left home in the middle of a ball where you were supposed to meet a suitable husband, but you ignored them and stumbled determinedly out into the night.
You weren’t supposed to walk alone at night — no women actually were. You were scarcely allowed to walk in the day unless you had a reputable chaperone.
But you did not fear getting in too much trouble or meeting a stranger that was less than acceptable, since it was late and most everyone was inside your home.
Maybe you were a touch fearful as you walked from your father’s land and down the road, and you realized the farther you walked how close the church was to the poorer part of town.
They were people too, you reminded yourself quickly. They had children like your people, dreams like your people.
Drugs and alcohol like your people, prostitutes like your people.
No different from you and yet scarier simply because their houses were smaller, their clothes not made of fine silk?
You clutched your cloak tighter more from the chill of a spring evening’s wind than your baseless fear, seeing the church slightly up ahead and hoping they had lit some sort of fire despite the warm day it had been.
The door was made of oak that was almost too heavy for arms that did little more than embroider, but you managed to pull one open and slip inside.
It was warmer inside; you stopped for a moment to let the warmth smooth the goosebumps that had risen on your skin, then you carefully lowered your cloak and looked around the room.
You were not used to coming here alone or seeing this place empty, but the bare pews seemed to put you a bit at ease as you walked further inside.
But the confessional to your right made you nervous again, wondering if you really should be confessing these things, imagining that if there even was a priest inside at this time, he might tell your parents who expected you to be pure despite their own sins.
These thoughts had been plaguing you, however, and you wanted them to stop.
You wanted to be satisfied with the life that you were meant to live, and you were sure that pouring your thoughts into the air would lift them from your mind.
Perhaps if you had known the priest a bit better, it might have been easier as you stepped into the booth, but you only came here on holidays and heard gossip that the aging man had begun training someone to take his position.
You did the sign of the Cross over yourself with some uncertainty, having to admit that you were a bit rusty since religion was something that was more talked about than practiced. “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. My last confession was...I...I suppose my first confession tonight is that I don’t quite remember my last.”
Was that a soft chuckle you heard from the opposite booth?
No, you reasoned, priests did not laugh.
“I have come today because I...my thoughts are simply…you see, I cannot get out of my head and...and it’s such a…” You dropped your head in your hands, unsure of how to properly get your thoughts out with how used you had grown to keeping them in.
“Relax, child. Tell me what is on your heart.” The voice was young and smooth, and sounded like he was reading from a book with how flat it was, but you were too intrigued by its other qualities as you lifted your head.
“Yes. Of course. I am descended from noble blood and my destiny is to marry a man of similar status and bear his children. Yet...I...don’t necessarily wish to. I keep finding my thoughts wandering to...to more. Sometimes I do not even know what more entails, simply that it’s something I desire. Often I do think...of having sexual intercourse. Of...of running barefoot through a field and swimming in a lake without a stitch on.” You loved it all so much that you giggled beyond your shame, falling silent as you weren’t sure what else there was to confess.
“And?” He cleared his throat.
“I believe that’s everything.” You furrowed your brow, not sure you could say much more other than your forbidden desires.
“You’ve forgotten something, child.” Now you were sure he was laughing.
You thought for a moment then your eyes widened in a display that could have almost seemed comical. “This is all I can remember! I am sorry for these and all my sins!”
It was said so quickly that your words were hardly intelligible, but the priest hummed in acknowledgement and amusement.
“What do you think my penance for this should be, Father?”
“Have you acted on any of these thoughts?”
You quickly shook your head even though he couldn’t see you. “Of course not!”
“Then you haven’t, really, committed any sin.”
“Father, please, I truly feel that I should be punished for having these thoughts.”
“Very well. Uh...let me see...when you kneel by your bed to pray tonight, I want you to do five Hail Marys.”
It wasn’t the harshest punishment you’d heard of, but it was going to encourage you to actually pray before bed that night and perhaps that would help with your thoughts.
You were curious about this priest, with his charming voice and the monotone way he went about conducting this confession.
Not that you had met many priests who were all that lively, this man seemed like he was hardly even paying attention to his duties.
However, you were correct in your belief that talking about your thoughts would make them go away, and you closed your eyes in preparation for your prayer asking the Lord for forgiveness.
Your prayer discussing your regret for your sinful thoughts and a promise to do your best not to sin anymore was followed by the priest praying to absolve you of these sins — still sounding like he was reading it in a book right then and there — and you smiled softly, doing the sign of the Cross again. “Amen.”
The priest stuttered a few times and then seemed to formulate what he wanted to say, “You have a good soul to beg for penance over something so trivial. Now thank God for this good confession, and, hm...peace be with you.”
“Thank you, my Lord. And thank you, Father.” Perhaps he listened to many confessions that day and had grown tired of saying the same thing, and you were happy for the help from him either way.
“Go now and...sin no more?” He seemed to chuckle at himself.
You stood and stepped out of the booth, finding yourself charmed by the empty church now as you walked to the door.
Father Dameron waited a moment to keep your privacy hidden before he stepped out of his booth, seeing a glimpse of a dark blue skirt slipping out the heavy, wooden doors and into the night.
Were you all by yourself this late at night or had someone been waiting for you to finish and walk you home?
He hated that he had to worry about you simply because you were a woman, but he knew the sins men confessed in the little time he’d been the head of this church.
Men would confess to taking prostitutes despite having wives at home, then come back the next week to beat their breasts all over again as if they actually cared.
Such a pretty voice with barely a sin to confess was a breath of fresh air for once, and he hoped you didn’t punish yourself too much for thoughts that any normal, interesting human being — including himself — had.
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Kirishima x f!reader
A/N: Hello beautiful readers! I’m here to drop off your fluffy/spicy dose of Kirishima love! This is a request from none other than my senpai and wonderful friend @queensynderella! Thank you for sending in and I kinda struggled to write it bc of being the big sad™️. I’m really not too happy with it but I hope y’all enjoy it! 💖
Warnings: sexy descriptions, implied sexy time, a badly described make out, and kinda awful writing.
Tags: @thedreadthreadanomaly @trafalgar-temptress @lovelustdollsworld @obsessedchildsworld @kingtamakimurder @birds-have-teeth thank you for all the love and support, I appreciate everyone of y’all 💖🥺💖
»»————- ♡ ————-««
The ‘almost official’ stage of dating was the most fluffy part of dating. Sneak peeks of being in a relationship with the person you were interested in just forced your brain to daydream of what life you could live together. It was close yet so far away.
When your long time crush Kirishima Eijirou asked you on a date for the first time, you were over the moon with excitement.
As he stood there with cheeks matching his long mane of fire red hair, holding slightly crumped wildflowers, and stuttering out it he wanted to take you out on that Friday, you melted. You were so happy that you launched yourself into his arms while giggling out a “yes!”.
He took you out that Friday for coffee. Dressed in a oversized (f/c) sweater, black jeans, and a comfortable pair of boots, you walked hand in hand with him as he fed you cheesy pickup lines on your way to the cute coffee shop.
When the two of you got there, he refused to let you pay. Saying “it wasn’t manly to let a lady pay on the first date.”. He was a real gentleman, helping you on and off the tall coffee shop seats and holding doors open for you. He swept you off your feet.
You walked hand in hand with him again on your way home. Warm smiles shared as you soaked in each other’s company, the air was filled with new love as you laughed and playfully danced your way back to the dorms.
Ever the manly man he was, he walked you right to your door. You of course told him he didn’t have to and that you live in the dorms with him but he silenced your protests with a “A gentlemen has to make sure a lovely lady like you gets home safe” accompanied by a playful wink.
As you arrived at your door, a slight sadness bloomed in your chest. You didn’t want to leave to his side so soon and he pulled you into a bear hug as soon as he noticed your crestfallen face.
“So if you’d like, how about we do this again next week?” He akwardly asked, cheeks hinted pink and warm red eyes filled with hope.
“Of course Kiri! I would love that!” You smiled happily up at him. He grew a lot since your first year, now quiet a bit taller than you.
Standing up on your tippy toes, you gave him a sweet kiss on the cheek before entering your room then closing the door.
Kirishima was floored by the sweet kiss you gave him. His large hand held on the place you pecked as his heart beat wildly in his chest. If he could get anymore love struck, he’d think he went insane.
Pressing you ear against the door, you waited until you heard his heavy footsteps walk away to jump on your bed and let out an excited squeal into your pillow.
Lingering glimpses at one another were happening often during that week until Friday came around again. The sickeningly sweet air of young love floated over the two of you like a cloud at all times, making everyone in the general vicinity roll their eyes in annoyance.
Neither of you could care less because you were head over heels for one another. Heads filled with daydreams until you could see each other again.
You were practically glittering with excitement when Friday finally arrived. Tearing up your closet to find the perfect outfit as you fussed over your hair, you couldn’t help the rapid thumping in your chest as you finished your look.
Giving yourself a twirl in the mirror, smiling proudly at the outfit you picked out with the approval of your friends via text. You were a bit nervous but the ever so present excitement overshadowed it.
He knocked on your door swiftly, catching your attention as you grabbed your phone and rushed to the door. You quickly opened the piece of wood only to be met with the handsomest man you’ve ever seen.
He looked stunning. A black floral button up shirt framed his solid build nicely, dark jeans hugged his muscular legs in all the right ways, and of course, his signature pair of red crocs.
He didn’t tell you what you were doing on this outing, only a hint to dress nice but casual. Walking with him hand in hand once more as his tall stature led you through the dorms, through the backyard, and into a small spot in the woods where you found a picnic set out.
A red checkered blanket laid on the top of a small hill, overlooking the city and a delicious set of bento boxes were sitting on top. Your heart raced again, thumping like a happy bunny rabbit as you sat down on the blanket.
Eating your food happily and teasing each other playfully, your heart felt warm when the sun set. Hazy oranges, pinks, and purples filled the sky when you rested your head on his shoulder.
He wrapped an arm around you, pulling you closer as he placed a sweet kiss on the top of your head. Your cheeks heated up at the small act of affection from him, making you snuggle yourself closer to the redhead as the both of you watched the sunset.
He walked you to your room again much to your protests, gently tugging you along the forest path and dorms with the picnic basket in his large hand. The world felt so much brighter, so much more fun when he was around that the slight sadness hit your chest again as you arrived at your door.
“I had a really good time today, (y/n) and I know we literally just went out but would you like to hang out with me tomorrow? We could watch a movie in my dorm in our pjs.” He suggested sheepishly, thinking that it was way to be good to be true that you would want hang out with him 2 days in a row.
“That sounds wonderful Eijirou, what time should I come by?” You asked happily.
His cheeks flared red from the casual use of his given name, heart racing at the way it rolled of your tongue.
“U-uh how does 5 sound?” He stuttered out, a little embarrassed at how flustered he was by the simple act of calling him his name.
“Perfect, I’ll see you then!” You smiled brightly, the idea of cuddling up with him in your pjs sounding like heaven.
He summoned all the courage in his body as he gently placed the basket down, red eyes looked softly at your smaller form when he held a large hand out and softly cupped your cheek. Holding it almost protectively when he placed another sweet kiss on your forehead before picking up the basket and walking back to his room, just like you did.
You stood frozen in the hall for a second, cheeks aflame as you felt you entire body turn into a pile of goo. Quickly making your way way inside your room, you unleashed a smile that threatened to stay there the rest of the week.
Tomorrow couldn’t come by any slower, excitement buzzing in your veins as you desperately tried to make yourself sleep. The digits on your clock seemed to go in slow motion as they changed and you let out a groan in defeat.
Staring up at your ceiling you couldn’t help but think of the faux redhead. He was as adorable as a puppy, sweeter then sugar cubes, so friendly that he even tamed the blonde time bomb, and so in touch with his feelings that he made you swoon.
What plagued your mind most was how goddamn handsome he was. He caught your eye during first year, a bright sharp toothed smile sent your way as he gave you a big bear hug when he introduced himself made your heart beat wildly in joy.
Warm red eyes soft and sweet like red velvet cake as he always cheered you on the sidelines. A jawline sharper than a razor combined with his well defined cheekbones made him look cute and hot. Which never failed to make your cheeks feel warm.
Well defined full plush lips with a sharp cupid’s bow was something you thought of often, wondering during late nights if they were as kissable as they looked. Brawny arms that made you feel safe whenever he got the chance to give you a hug.
You took special notice of how tall and muscular he was now. Six feet tall and absolutely shredded, solid like a mountain with not an ounce of fat on him. He towered over your small form, forcing your heart thrash wildly in your chest. But he never made you feel intimidated, always safe and secure when you were with him. That fact alone just made you melt.
His hero costume didn’t help your fantasy about him one bit. A six pack and body carved by Greek gods as you sneeked peeks at him during hero training. He was golden tan and littered with various scars, thanks to internships, the color of his skin just accentuating his well defined six pack and rippling muscles.
It might have been the fact that everyone was asleep or that you only got a few innocent little kisses from him but thinking about this 6ft tall, absolutely shredded, and adorable man just set your lower belly on fire.
Sleep finally came to you before you could get too worked up, finally getting a few good hours of sleep before you had to get up and go about your day.
»»————- ♡ ————-««
The bright rays of the sun woke you up the next morning, regretfully untangling yourself from your sheets as you got up to get ready for your day. Today was cleaning day.
Throwing on a pair of black leggings and an old shirt, you got to cleaning your room. Putting on (f/b) you not so harmoniously sang your way through laundry and organizing various things.
When you finished everything on your checklist , the room was sparkling clean. Taking a peek at the clock, it read as 3pm. Just enough time to eat and get ready.
Quickly making your way to the kitchen downstairs, you grabbed a few of (f/s) and headed to the common room only to see a few of your girlfriends chatting away on the couch.
“Hey cutie pie! Come and join us!” Mina happily waved as she saw you approaching the couch.
“Hi darlings! What’s up?” You greeted as you plopped yourself down in the seat next to cute pink girl, quickly eating your snacks.
“We were actually just talking about you!” She snickered.
“Cmon! Tell us how your last date with Kirishima went!” she enthusiastically demanded, playfully nudging your side with her elbow.
Momo, Uraraka, and Tsuyu all gave you an expecting look, nearly wiggling in their seats from the tension of your small silence.
“It went really well actually! He took me out of a picnic and we watched the sunset together. It was pretty romantic.” You admitted, a tiny bit embarrassed from all the attention on you.
“Oh wow that is romantic~! Who knew Kirishima was such a softie!” Mina gushed dramatically.
“That’s actually really cute. Ribbit.” Tsuyu commented.
“It’s simple and sweet, very much like him.” Momo analyzed thoughtfully.
“But did you guys get all hot and steamy under the sunset~” Mina asked, wiggling her eyebrows for dramatic effect.
“No pinky pie.” you playfully rolled your eyes.
“We didn’t, just a few sweet kisses on the cheek and forehead.” You sheepishly admitted.
Various cooing and gushing came from all girls except Mina, who knew this is how it would play out. In the midst of various chatter, you managed to get a small glance at the clock and saw it was 3:30. Saying a cheerful goodbye, you padded your way back to your room to get ready for your date.
Date. The word still making your heart flutter as you thought of your last two experiences. He was sweet, gentlemanly, and so adorable that you couldn’t help but gush about him internally.
Rummaging through your drawers to find the perfect pair of pjs, you pulled out one old band shirt after another before finding what you were looking for. A matching set of burgundy silk shorts and top with black lace trim.
It was something you bought on a whim after trying it on, loving the way the it made all the features you liked about yourself stand out. A perfect little tease to test his patience.
After pulling out a large hoodie to cover yourself up with, you grabbed your shower caddy and made your way to the showers. You made quick work of getting clean, the whole stall smelling like (f/s) as you scrubbed away all of today’s dust and dirt.
The hot water combined with the steam made your skin feel soft, reveling in the way your confidence soared after doing something so simple. (Self care is important y’all.)
Quickly finishing up what you needed to do, you stepped out of the shower and wrapped yourself in a fluffy towel. Confidence still sky high as you brushed and blow dried your hair also applying a little skincare along with it.
As you slid on your sexy little set, you couldn’t help but feel like it when you glanced in the mirror. After a swipe of deodorant and a spritz of perfume, you pulled on your hoodie and happily padded your way to your room to put your stuff away.
Successfully putting away all your things, you checked the clock once again. It read as 4:30pm so you still had half an hour. Deciding to laze around a bit, you checked through your socials and played a game for a bit before heading over.
When you finally looked up from your game, it finally hit 5. You scrambled to put on some chapstick before grabbing your favorite blanket and slipping on your slippers before heading out the door.
You skipped your way to Kirishima’s dorm, heart thumping in excitement about seeing him again. Stopping at his door, you knocked swiftly 3 times and waited patiently.
“Coming!” Kiri shouted casually.
When he did open the door, he didn’t expect his brain to turn into scrambled eggs. You stood there so adorably, eyes sparkling up at him, in a hoodie that nearly drowned you and he was speechless.
“Hey Eiji!” You smiled at him, temporarily putting a halt to his internal gushing.
“Hey (y/n)-chan, come in and get comfy!” He managed to say cheerfully as he stepped aside to let you into his room.
Embarrassingly, you forgot what his room looked like but when you did look at the surprisingly tidy room with workout gear in the corner and ‘manly’ decorations, you internally giggled as you made a beeline for his bed plopped onto it with light bounce. Deciding to lay up against his pillows as you made yourself comfy.
He managed to turn off his internal panicking as he sat down next to you. His warm body next to yours as he pulled out his laptop and pulled up Netflix. After debating for a bit, you both agreed on a random action movie that looked interesting. He carefully placed it on the opposite end of the bed as he got himself comfortable next to you.
As the movie started, your attention instantly wandered off of whatever was on the small screen. Instead focusing on how nice he felt next to you. He was warm that you wanted to cuddle up to him, the shorts you wore not helping you retain heat at all.
Carefully, you grabbed his hand and interlaced your fingers with his. Smiling softly as you laid your head on his shoulder as you vaguely payed attention to the movie. He smelt nice too, like sandalwood and citrus. Bright and masculine, just like him.
Kiri had a plan before you arrived and now that you were so cutely cuddled up to him, he couldn’t even form a coherent thought much less breathe normally.
He wanted to ask you to be his girlfriend officially. The cute dates you went on just put the final nail in the coffin for him as you playfully giggled at his jokes and looked at him so cutely. He was freaking out.
With a deep breath, he shoved off all incoming self doubt and popped the question.
“(Y/n)-chan?” He asked nervously, heart racing in fear that you would up and leave if he asked you too early.
“Yes Eiji?” You sweetly replied, just being so close to him was making you feel fuzzy inside.
“Youre so cute and sweet and I like you so much and I was wondering if you would wanna be my girlfriend?” He rambled nervously, his large body tensing in false preparation.
You looked at him in shock for a moment while you processed what he said before a soft smile took over your face. Giving his large hand a squeeze, he cautiously met your gaze.
He saw no anger, no hatred, just soft (e/c) eyes filled affection. He gave you a small shaky smile still a bit nervous from your lack words.
“I would want nothing more Eijirou.” You softly spoke as you admired his face. He was handsome and the little scar on his eye just adding onto to the cute look he had on right now.
He visibly relaxed as he felt himself lean closer to your face, red eyes briefly glancing at your soft lips. Ever the gentleman he was, he needed to ask before making his move.
“Can I kiss you?” He breathlessly asked, still slowly inching closer.
Your eyes briefly glanced at his lips, slightly chapped but still full and plush as you felt yourself lean closer as well.
“Please do” you replied just as breathlessly.
When his lips met yours, it was everything you dreamed of and better. His lips were warm and tasted of cinnamon as they moulded against yours perfectly.
The warm and fuzzy feeling in your body turned into a fire as you used your free hand to cup his cheek and pull him closer to you. You wanted to be closer to him, fuck you needed to be.
It quickly became heated between the both of you, his warm tongue gently swiping over yours in a silent pleas to let him in. When you gently parted your mouth to let him in, he took it to his full advantage, eagerly exploring and dominating your wet cavern with a low groan.
You let out a small moan in response, using the hand that was on his cheek to tangle in his red hair and gave it a light tug. He let out a low growl and without breaking the kiss, he moved his muscular form to hover above you as he pinned your joined hands on the mattress.
When he pulled away, you were both panting and blushing. Red eyes burning with desire as he hungrily looked down at your smaller form beneath him.
“So I’ll take that as a yes?” He cheekily asked with a sharp toothed impish grin.
“Of course, Red Riot~” your saccharine voice answered as you wrapped your legs around his narrow yet muscular waist and brought him closer to you.
His cheeky smile turned into a warning glare as he let another low growl, you were testing his patience and he wasn’t having any of it.
“Careful little one. Don’t get me too excited, you wouldn’t want to this shark to bite, now would you?” He warned you with smoldering eyes half lidded in lust, making the fire in your veins turn into a raging inferno.
“Oh I’m sure I won’t regret it. Now show me how hard this shark can bite.” You challenged, the raging fire in your blood reflecting in your own half lidded hazy eyes. The cute set you had on definitely came in handy later.
»»————- ♡ ————-««
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i never see top lock anymore, and i get why— but do you have a list of sherlock being dominant? i love when he’s possessive over the people who he loves.
Anonymous said to inevitably-johnlocked: do you have a master list of toplock?? i just love seeing sherlock jealous of possessive over john :)
Anonymous said to inevitably-johnlocked: do you have any possessive smut fics with sherlock topping? (or just rough sex in general) i really love jealous sherlock.
Anonymous said to inevitably-johnlocked: Hi, do you have any top!lock stories? It can be fluff, or smut. I really was in the mood for some top Sherlock, and if you could maybe some Jealous top!lock too. Thank you very much!
I hesitate to say you’re all the same nonny, but the wording is very similar and these all came a few days apart. If you aren’t please accept my apologies, for that and for the delay; when I get fic requests for fics I know I have a decent amount of, it takes me awhile to go through all 1000+ of my bookmarks to pick fics to rec for y’all. That said, I know I don’t have EVERY fic I have bookmarked with toplock in it, but I do have a few already tagged, so that’s what this list is for you today
Hope you enjoy, and as always, lovelies, please add your own fics or recs to this list! haven’t added ALL my fics with toplock in it, nor fics with switchlock (that will be a separate list when the time comes), so I’ve definitely missed some fics I’ve recced in the past
Jealous & Possessive Sherlock
Possessive Sherlock Pt 2
Husband by jinglebell (E, 2,003 w., 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., PWP, Anal, Multiple Orgasms, Fluff) – Sherlock orgasms when John refers to him as ‘husband’.
Caught in the Act – by Mycroft by ShirleyCarlton (E, 2,040 w., 1 Ch. || Unintended Voyeurism, Mycroft’s POV, Blow Job, Humour) – Mycroft had only planted the camera for Sherlock’s own good, simply to keep an eye on his little brother and make sure he was alright. He hadn’t quite meant to see his brother this content, however… Part 4 of Caught In The Act
Stay by msdisdain (M, 3,561 w., 1 Ch. || First Kiss / Time, Angst / H/C, Bed Sharing, Nightmares, Blow Jobs, Anal) – John’s nightmares are nothing new. Sherlock’s inability to ignore them, however, is.
Wasted Hours by songlin (E, 4,973 w., 1 Ch. || Omegaverse || O!John/A!Sherlock, Pining, UST, Angst & Porn) – John is respectful. John keeps his distance. He doesn’t look at Sherlock when Sherlock decides trousers are for dull people. He doesn’t breathe in and savor it when Sherlock flings himself onto the couch first thing in the morning, wafting alpha scent, dressing gown settling around him in a cloud of blue silk. He doesn’t linger when he’s piecing Sherlock back together after a fight, even though he’s half-dressed and beautiful and right there. He can ignore it. He can control it.
See Recipe for Details by pandoras_chaos (E, 4,981 w., 1 Ch. || Oral / Anal Sex, Food, PWP, Fingerfucking) – John knows Sherlock’s mouth will never water over the sweet smells of baking chocolate biscuits or a lovely roast chicken, but he’s watched Sherlock nick mince pies out of Mrs. Hudson’s fridge often enough to deduce that the man does have taste, albeit confusing and obscure. So John makes a list: Things Sherlock Likes
Caffeine and Adaptive Programming by DemonicSymphony (E, 5,540 w., 1 Ch. || Androids AU / Bond Fusion || Android Sherlock, Coffee Shop AU, Pining John Hinted Bond / Q, Toplock) – Sherlock is a coffee shop android slowly falling for a regular customer. But he’s not supposed to be able to feel emotions.
The doctor is in by PlainJane (E, 7,581 w., 1 Ch. || Omegaverse || Sex Therapist, Anal, Hand Jobs, Frottage, Virgin Sherlock) – Sherlock is a young alpha with an aversion to his cycle. John is a gender medicine specialist. Nothing could possibly go wrong… Part 1 of Doctors and detectives
Just Like That by sussexbound (E, 8,442 w., 1 Ch. || First Time/Kiss, Frottage, Virgin Sherlock, French Kissing, Anal, Emotional Lovemaking, Enthusiastic Consent, Tenderness, Crying John, Bathing/Washing, Insecure John, Toplock) – John doesn’t want to talk anymore. He wants. Oh dear god, how he wants. For the first time in what feels like years he WANTS.
London Gods by a_different_equation (E, 11,092 w., 5 Ch. || American Gods Fusion || Magical Realism, Sex Magic, True Love, PTSD John, First Kiss/Time, Marathon Sex, Sensuality, Genie Sherlock, Human John, Internalized Homophobia, Star-Crossed Lovers, Soul Mates) – Sherlock Holmes is a jinn who does not grant wishes. However, when Dr. John H. Watson, recently returned from the war in Afghanistan, gets into his cab by “accident”, it might not even need magic to grant both men their deepest wish: love.
And if you say the word, I could stay with you by CaitlinFairchild (E, 12,842 w., 1 Ch. || Domestic Fluff, BottomJohn / Topping from the Bottom, Fluff and Romance, Dirty Talk, Proposals) – What Sherlock thinks is, On the day I die, be it in a dirty alley at forty or in my bed at eighty, the last thing I will remember is tonight, the way you looked at at me on the snowy pavement, cheeks pink with the cold, breath puffing in frosty white clouds, your heart in your eyes and snowflakes in your hair. I will remember that single perfect moment in my life, that moment I knew I had everything I ever wanted, and whatever happens next, I will die content. What he says is simply, “Marry me.”
Take My Breath Away by Quesarasara (E, 14,240 w., 1 Ch. || Emotional H/C, Angst & Fluff, Toplock, Smut, Lingerie) – Sherlock opens his eyes and looks at his friend—his best friend—and slowly tips his chin down until his forehead rests softly against John’s. They stay that way for a long moment, lips just a whisper apart, warm puffs of air mingling as each of them struggles to breathe. It’s no wonder they ended up here, really, locked in this breathless moment balanced on the cusp of something new. They’ve spent years taking each other’s breath away…
The Palmyra Atoll by elwinglyre (E, 16,609 w., 3 Ch. || TSo3 Divergence / Episode Fix-It, Stockholm Syndrome, Kidnapped John Watson, John Whump, Evil Mary, Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Toplock, Limited 3rd John POV) – As John’s preparing for the wedding, Sherlock is preparing to have his heart broken, and Mary is prepared to do the unthinkable. Intervention required. Enter Sherlock. Set before Sign of Three with a far different outcome. John is drugged, kidnapped, and left on an island, but not just any old island.
Maintaining A Personal Life by Gingerhermit (E, 24,284 w., 6 Ch. || Alternating POV’s, Bisexuality, BAMF!John, Jealous Sherlock, Romance / Drama, Sort-of Case Fic, Peril & Angst, Love Confessions, Toplock, Soft Idiots in Love, Post S3) – Sherlock and John discover some interesting revelations about each other’s sexuality, which lead them both to question the assumptions they’ve made about one another for years. In the midst of their mutual discoveries, a dangerous psychopath looms on the side-lines who threatens to destroy their new beginning.
The Whore of Babylon Was a Perfectly Nice Girl by out_there (E, 32,897 w., 1 Ch. || Past Drug Use, Blowjobs, Toplock, Mentions of Switching, Rough Sex, Background Cases, Sherlock’s Past, Sherlock’s Sexual History, Experienced Sherlock, Past One Night Stands, Fingering, Cuddling, Possessive Sherlock, Paris Holiday, Bed Sharing, Naked Lie-Ins, Bathing Together, Confessions, Worried Sherlock, Laying in Bed All Day, Meddling Mycroft, Naked Lazy Day) – Sherlock walks into a room and takes all the space right out of it. He does the same inside John’s head.
The Wrong Wagon by DancingGrimm (E, 35,663 w., 20 Ch. || Alternating POV, MollyxJohn [Molly pines for John], Public Sex, Casual Sex, Obliviousness, BAMF!John, Awkwardness, Angst & Humour, First Time, Virgin Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock) – Molly sees John in a new light and realises that she may have hitched her horse to the wrong wagon…or something like that. John pines for Sherlock and worries what he will think if he ever finds out. And Sherlock doesn’t know what Molly’s up to…but he knows he doesn’t like it.
Only To Be With You by SinceWhenDoYouCallMe_John (M, 40,768 w., 4 Ch. || Black Mirror / Future AU || Character Death, Future Technology, Sickness/Cancer/Illness, Heavy Angst with Happy Ending, First Person POV John, Pining John, Heart-Wrenching Angst) – I tell myself that next time I’ll come near this same place again. Wait around for the mysterious stranger in his coat to dash past me, hot on the heels of a new criminal in black. I think this all the way back to my Exit, planning where I’ll wait and what I’ll say when I see him. Scheming on how to get his name. It’s only once I reach the Exit Point door that I realize two hours and forty-five minutes have passed, and I realize that this won’t be the last time I Visit. It won’t be the last time at all.
Guidelines by WithLoweredVoices (M, 43,018 w., 15 Ch. || Winglock || Angels, Fantasy, Angst, BAMF! John, War, Jealous Sherlock, Possessive Sherlock, Jealous John, Falling in Various Ways, Needy Sherlock, Wings) – The Good Soldier, one of the oldest and strongest of the fallen, is offered a bargain: to live as John Watson and to Guide a fledgling archangel so that he will stay on the path of good. Of course, Sherlock Holmes has different ideas about his destiny. Fantasy AU. Warnings for violence, occasional gore, and a whole load of hurt and angst.
Bloody But Unbowed by BeautifulFiction (E, 43,211 w., 8 Ch. || Abduction, John Whump, Mild Torture, Background Case Fic, Friends to Lovers, Post-TRF / S3 Rewrite, Hurt/Comfort) – When a familiar argument threatens to destroy the last remnants of John and Sherlock’s failing friendship, both men are left questioning their worth to one another. Before either of them has the chance to make amends, circumstance intervenes. John is left at the mercy of his abductors, and this time, he’s not sure Sherlock will bother coming to his rescue.
Triage by scullyseviltwin (E, 51,612 w., 14 Ch. || Character Injury, Introspection) – Sherlock’s mind goes exceedingly, devastatingly quiet and gray-blank. When he speaks it’s through a thick haze, it’s through molasses, he’s so disconnected from the words that it may as well be the unconscious shooter speaking.
Uphill by scullyseviltwin (E, 77,750 w., 18 Ch. || Olympics AU || Sherlock POV, Skier!Sherlock / Medic!John, Rivalry, 2014 Olympics, Happy Ending) – Sherlock Holmes is striving for gold in this, his fourth and final Olympics as a downhill Alpine racer.
Secrets and Revelations by Hisstah (E, 83,535 w., 9 Ch. || Sentinel / Guides Omegaverse AU || Adventure, Violence, Anal / Oral, Omega!John / Alpha!Sherlock, Case Fic, Politics, Mild DubCon) – Dr John Watson has some major secrets that he’s kept from his flatmate, Alpha Sentinel Sherlock Holmes. Now the Sentinel Tower is after him. Can John stay out of their hands until he can reveal his secrets to Sherlock? Part 1 of Secrets and Revelations
Secrets and Revelations by Hisstah (E, 85,535 w., 9 Ch. || Sentinel / Guides AU, Omegaverse, Aventure, Violence, Anal / Oral, Omega!John / Alpha!Sherlock, Case Fic, Politics, Mild DubCon) – Dr John Watson has some major secrets that he’s kept from his flatmate, Alpha Sentinel Sherlock Holmes. Now the Sentinel Tower is after him. Can John stay out of their hands until he can reveal his secrets to Sherlock? Part 1 of Secrets and Revelations
31_Days_of_Porn_Challenge_2017 Series by distantstarlight (E, 96,540 w. across 31 stories || Prompt Ficlets, Assorted Kinks, PWP) – A collection in response to the 31 Days of Porn Challenge issued by AtlinMerrik! Thanks for doing that because this has been buttload of fun (that joke never gets old). All stories will be brief stand-alone one-shots.
A Fold in the Universe by darkest_bird (E, 152,869 w., 26 Ch. || Omegaverse / Prime Universe Crossover || OmegaJohn / AlphaSherlock, First Kiss / Time, Friends to Lovers, Established Relationship, Angst, H/C, Dub Con, Humour) – Alpha Sherlock and Omega John are in a relationship. Prime Sherlock and Prime John are not. So what happens when a freak fold in the universe switches one John for the other?
Proving A Point by elldotsee & J_Baillier (E, 186,270 w., 28 Ch. || Me Before You Fusion || Medical Realism, Insecure John, Depression, Romance, Angst, POV John, Sherlock Whump, Serious Illness, Doctor John, Injury Recovery, Assisted Suicide, Sherlock’s Violin, Awkward Sexual Situations, Alcoholism, Drugs, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Body Image, Friends to Lovers, Hurt / Comfort, Pain, Big Brother Mycroft, Intimacy, Anxiety, PTSD, Family Issues, Psychological Trauma, John Whump, Case Fics, Loneliness, Pain) – Invalided home from Afghanistan, running out of funds and convinced that his surgical career is over, John Watson accepts a mysterious job offer to provide care and companionship for a disabled person. Little does he know how much hangs in the balance of his performance as he settles into his new life at Musgrave Court.
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