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pathological-peoplepleaser-alert · 3 years

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Hospital Playlist : Season 1

So, I recently re-watched season 1 of Hospital Playlist in preparation of season 2 that’s going to be released on the 17th of June, and I have a couple of thoughts that I want to share. Warning: It’s going to be filled with spoilers, so for those looking to avoid that, please don’t read more. Also, this is a looooonnnnggg one :)

“Hospital Playlist” is a Korean Drama that follows five doctors in their 40s who have been best friends since adolescence as they form a band together. While the log-line appears simple, the depth in the script and acting will enchant any audience. The narrative is free-spirited and quirky, reverberating friendships forged by love and time in a heart-warming style.

This slice of life drama realistically tackles what occurs within the white walls of the hospital. From ungrateful patients to the long wait for donors, it has it all. This drama covered plenty of cases, each of them as sad as the next. I recall when Yang Seok Hyeong, an assistant professor of obstetrics and gynaecology, had a patient who delivered a baby with anencephaly. He was considerate enough to not allow the mother to hear the baby’s cries by playing loud music in the delivery room and quickly escorting the baby away from the mother. I teared up during that scene, and I still tear up just thinking about that. I watched it as a case in a K-Drama, but it is many people’s gruesome reality, and all I can offer are my sympathies.

Despite zoning out during the technical aspects and elucidation of medical terminologies, I could feel the gravity of an operation and the burden of Atlas resting on the doctors when they held the scalpel. I liked the fact that there wasn’t any hospital politics. Rather, the show focused on the doctors, as they tried their best to save their patients. I mourned during the losses of life and celebrated with the characters after a successful surgery.

The ensemble cast for “Hospital Playlist” was flawless. The sincerity of the actors and the efforts they had put into studying and understanding their roles were clear as day. The chemistry between them was organic and the banters, natural. While they didn’t verbalise every emotion, the viewers could feel their familiarity, like they were real-life friends on screen. I was on an emotional rollercoaster as I watched this, rooting for them through hardships and cheering whenever they laughed.

“I wondered why my life was getting so difficult. It was really tough. But all of a sudden, one day, I realised how much time I was wasting. Wasting my life away like this because of what she did to me was doing a disservice to myself.”

Jo Jung-Suk did a flawless job portraying Lee Ik-Jun. This was my second time witnessing a drama with Jo Jung Suk, and while I wouldn’t applaud his performance in “Oh, My Ghostess!” (But in his defence, I found that script to be problematic) I absolutely loved him in “Hospital Playlist”. Lee Ik-Jun is an assistant professor of general surgery. He’s funny, sociable, laid-back, charming, and a dotting, single father to his son, Woo Joo.

The first time I, as the viewer, was introduced to him was gold. Naughty little Woo Joo had managed to put a blotch of super glue to a Darth Vader helmet, which was later worn by his father. During an emergency at the hospital, Ik Jun showed up decked in Darth Vader gear and bravely holding a light saber, demanding that the helmet was unglued from his head. He got his wish, but only after performing surgery while wearing the helmet.

Watching Ik-Jun and his son together is heartwarming, to say the least. You can tell how much he loves his son, as seen by the way he prepared meatballs from scratch, including the ketchup, excitedly for his son, only for the latter to claim he wanted meatballs, causing the former to trip on his way to the kitchen. I also adore how most of the bonding scenes we see between them happens over sandwiches. I find that very precious.

Ik Jun is also very friendly to everyone. He warmly welcomes the medical students, greets his colleagues with a smile, and most notably, plays as a matchmaker between Jeong-won and Jang Gyeo-wool, even if it is so the latter could assist him on more surgeries. His relationship with his sister is also beautiful. I love how authentic they are, from their bickering and the hidden ways they care for each other.

Ik Jun provides comic relief plenty of times— I nearly fell off my chair laughing when he mimicked a train, and also upon seeing how adamant he was to eavesdrop on a private phone conversation of Kim Jun-wan.

“I don’t deserve to be a doctor. I can’t control my emotions. I empathise too easily.”

I must admit, Ahn Jeong Won has a soft spot in my heart and is my favourite from the group of friends. An assistant professor of pediatric surgery, Jeong Won gets overly attached to patients and takes every loss personally. Due to his sensitive nature, he’s detailed in everything he does, earning the teasing nickname of “Buddha” from his colleagues.

Hardworking but overemotional, there have been many instances when Jeong Won swears to quit being a doctor after a patient has unfortunately succumbed, and it’s only through the insistence of his oldest brother does he continue his job. He’s immensely religious and has a close relationship with God, and considered being a priest until the season finale.

His interactions with his young patients tug on all my heartstrings. From the gentle way he gets the permission of small children to check their vitals, to the dedication with which he treats his patients and dissolves their fears.

One of my favourite quotes of this drama was said by him, “Do you know why doctors only give vague answers such as ‘We can’t be sure yet,’ ‘We don’t know yet,’ and ‘We need to observe a bit more?’ Doctors must take responsibility for their words, so we must be careful. There’s only one thing we, as doctors, can tell our patients with certainty. ‘We will do our best.’”

Despite being born from a wealthy family, Jeong Won is nearly broke, spending all his fortune anonymously covering the hospital fees of poor patients.

Chae Song Hwa summarised Jeong Won’s personality neatly in episode 12 when she said, “Lastly, there’s you (Jeong Won). Seeing others enjoy good food makes you happier than when you are eating it yourself.”

“If the doctor gives up on the patient, he isn’t a doctor anymore.”

At first glance, Kim Jun Wan appears cold and scary, but there are so many dimensions to his character. He’s blunt, assertive and has a reputation for telling his patients what they need to hear, not that they want to hear.

However, he’s possibly the most caring person, having allowed Jeong Won to, in his own words, “mooch” of him for years now. He was also always nagging and hovering over his friends, keeping a stash of chocolates for them. He stepped up as the Chief of the cardiothoracic surgery department multiple times, whether it was to act as a shield to his mentee or to reprimand his juniors about the importance of (a patient’s) life and how every single decision taken by a doctor has to be thoughtful and absolute because there’s no way to reverse such things.

A great example of his outer versus inner personality is when he’s questioned by a medical student on why he chose to be a cardiothoracic surgeon. While he claimed that he became a surgeon after asking his professor which job would allow him to get the most money, with a glimpse of a flashback scene, it was revealed that when back as a student, Jun Wan was given the opportunity to witness a surgery and then, to touch a beating human heart, and felt life, that solidified his decision to choose cardiology as his field. Recalling that scene gives me goosebumps even now. That was magical.

Jun Wan is also a huge foodie, his only competition being Song-Hwa.

“What have you done for yourself lately?”

Chae Song Hwa is an associate professor of neurosurgery. Discerning without being too critical, she is intelligent and is often the mother hen of the group. Respected by her juniors, she has also been fondly dubbed the ‘ghost’ due to her busy schedule that has left several of her colleagues wondering whether she has time to eat or sleep. She was everywhere and knew everything, which allowed her to quietly look after the residents of the hospital and the patients.

Despite being buried under piles of work, she still made the time to grade her juniors papers, and I’m reminded of one of the first instances the viewers were given of her, which was when she comforted a patient in the elevators of a hospital. The only female professor in neurosurgery, she is kind to her patients.

I adore how decisive she is, being extremely clear about what she wants, drawing boundaries while still being friendly and radiating professionalism to those around her, despite the hardships she might be going through. She routinely goes camping during the weekend and is the embodiment of positive self-love.

Some of my favourite moments in this drama was literally just Song Hwa and Jun Wan aggressively eating like they’ve been hungry since the dawn of time. Song Hwa might have claimed that the reason she ate so rapidly, so full of zeal was because of growing up with older brothers, but Ik Jun was quick to shoot her down and note that they all looked boney.

“My time is too precious for that. I want to live doing the things I like. And the things I want to do right now.”

Probably the most under-appreciated character, Yang Seok Hyeong is a treasure. My first opinion of him was ‘mama’s boy’ and while I was correct, wow, I had not expected the reason why. In his youth, Seok Hyeong was not close to his mother at all, and we could even see him ignoring her phone calls. But after everything that happened with his dad, he grew closer to his mother, developed a new sense of protectiveness and appreciation for her, and I adore that.

He was also the reason the band reunited in the first place, making that his condition for working at the Yulje Medical Center. Despite seeming aloof, he was an open book to his friends. He didn’t like to bother or intrude on people and usually kept to himself, gaining a reputation for being a loner whenever he was not around his four friends.

Throughout the season, he was trapped in a whirlwind of turmoil, from the news of his unexpected brother to his father’s death and his surprise succession to the company he wants no ties with. He maintains a calm exterior and braces through the troubles.

Seok Hyeong lives up to the sensitivity his job demands from him, softly informing expecting mothers about the risks of their pregnancies while encouraging and empathising with them when things get hard.

He prefers to stay in the shadows and allow people the opportunity to sort their messes out themselves, after reminding them that he’s only a call away if they need him. He’s an excellent confident booster and appreciates those who are responsible.

These characters stayed not only in my mind but also in my heart. Each of them has such vivid personalities I can’t entirely capture in words. Their insecurities, struggles, and feelings were so real and incredibly relatable and easy to empathise with.

As conveyed by the title, music plays an important part in this T.V. serial, by allowing the characters to reminisce their college days and also allowing them a breather from their stressful life. There are thousands of words in the English language, and yet, I can’t string together enough of them to express how I felt when Jo Jung Seok sang Aloha.

The doctors use music not only as an outlet to release their frustrations, but also to express their thoughts and feelings. To heal. Listening to the songs and the covers made by the band lightened my heart. The labour they put into practising the songs made the moments more precious.

Through the music sessions in this T.V. serial, I found my affection for each character increasing. I found myself surprised to recognise some of the songs considering they are quite old, but I hummed along and felt the air around me thrum with glee as they sang.

I also found it rather ironic that Chae Song Hwa is considered to be a bad singer (her pre-routine of gulping down raw eggs fascinated me on an odd level) although the actress who plays her, Jeon Mi Do is a talented singer.

Therapeutic and well-written, I marvel at the writer’s ability to weave together arrays of mundane subplots into endearing bliss, leaving lingering positivity after every episode along with a yearning to watch more.

I’m a huge fan of writer Lee Woo-Jung’s Reply series and was hesitant to start this drama, afraid that it would fall short of expectations. But having watched it, I can safely say that those concerns were unnecessary, and whatever expectations I had were only exceeded. I couldn’t recognise any leading plotline of this drama. To me, it simply showcased the daily life of five doctors.

As it is character-driven, there is a slow progression of the drama, which needs some time getting adapted to. It was also a little hard trying to keep track of the multiple characters initially introduced, but within three episodes, I was able to get a hang of things. The dialogues were witty, impactful and sharp, capturing my attention from the beginning to the end. However, despite containing a plethora of humorous moments throughout this serial, there was a subdued layer that focused more on the community than the plot.

I must admit, however, that I found the first episode to be subtly chaotic and slow-paced. I couldn’t grasp the concepts or connect with the characters until the second episode, after which I had no qualms.

I loved the character arcs in this story. It was a pleasure to observe their journeys and diligence as various storylines diverged or amalgamated, how they grew as individuals while maintaining their core values. The flashback scenes were fascinating to watch and compare how they are now to how they used to be.

The cinematography was stunning. I was in awe at how different shades and tones of light could impact not only the setting of the scene but also the mood of the viewers.

I recommend “Hospital Playlist” to anyone who likes to watch T.V. serials possessing the perfect amount of drama, laughter, angst, warmth and love. This serial is a truly rare gem in a basket of rocks where the storylines are solid without being too predictable.

#hospital playlist #season 1 #kdrama #spoilers

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project-ohagi · 4 years

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Hozuki x Reader {Hozuki No Reitetsu}

"Mr Hozuki must have someone he likes!" Karauri complained, carefully holding his stack of papers.

Natsubi nodded happily in agreement. "Yeah! Someone who puts those butterflies in his tummy!"

They rounded a corner, heading to their destination: The Great King Enma's desk, or more specifically, the Chief of Staff himself. He was needed to check over the paperwork and add the finishing details. However, when the two young men found said demon, he was in a rather peculiar, and distinctly unnatural position. He was embracing a woman with gorgeous (h/c) locks, as she pressed her hands against his chest, giving the impression of wanting to escape, but really, it was just to steady herself. As she could feel her legs about to give way at any moment, she wanted to be wholly prepared, and although Hozuki's chest was practically rock hard, it still made for a comforting pillow.

They didn't immediately notice the most bizarre part of the situation, probably because Karauri's hand quickly flew to his companion's face, covering his widened eyes – if he wasn't able to see anything, then he couldn't make his annoying commentary. However, when his own flushed face gazed back up, he realised that his superior was locking lips with this mystery woman. Both parties had their eyes tightly shut, but the expressions on their faces displayed pure love. This was completely unheard of for Hozuki, making the brown-haired hell minion wonder if he was okay in the head.

His dark orbs gradually grew larger as he witnessed the older male slip his tongue into your mouth, and heard two separate moans. There was a slight shift, and you began walking backwards, knocking into a conveniently-placed desk. You fell back, disconnecting your lips, and stared up at Hozuki in an embarrassing silence. He hovered over your trembling body, pressing himself far too close to your nether region. Bringing his face towards you, he started sucking and biting on your neck contentedly.

He enjoyed listening to the hushed sounds exiting your mouth.

Pulling away from your bruised and sensitive skin, he reached into his robe. You knew exactly what was coming, because he had attempted this too many times now. You constantly declined, and while you had admitted to admiring his persistence, the request itself was something entirely different. He was holding a marriage registration document, already showing his signature. You thought he must carry those everywhere with him, as you saw them so often. Like with the previous papers, you gently took them into your hand, then set them alight.

Marriage was a difficult predicament – you hailed from one of the Nine Realms of Norse Mythology, so you technically weren't a demon, nor were you actually dead, but you also weren't exactly a person, so to speak. You were a daughter of Loki, the God of Mischief, and his brief mistress, Angrboda. Therefore, you had obtained some flashy powers, including practical sorcery, fire wielding, and metamorphosis. Being from a place with so much distance from the Japanese Hell in which Hozuki resided presented a major problem, because it wasn't often that you were even able to make time to see him, and he was generally far too busy anyway. That was why nobody in Enma's court had ever seen you before. You had met Hozuki a long time in the past, when he was still classed as an adolescent, and although the fact of your love was indisputable, you still couldn't allow marriage.

You were the type bred for playing around, never taking a permanent partner, but Hozuki seemed to have alternative plans. In a regular conversation, he brought up the topic of marriage and children every two minutes. You didn't wish to disappoint him, but you also didn't want to marry him.

"Hozuki, you know we live too far apart." You reminded.

He gave the same blank expression. "I can have you transferred. I've heard that Mortal Hell could use more female worke-"

"I've declined you before."

"I was hoping you would have changed your mind."

The sudden, spontaneous clapping of large hands broke your concentration, and your eyes strained to see anything past Hozuki's shoulder. He clicked his tongue in annoyance, so you figured King Enma must have been the source of that thunder-like noise. He advanced towards you, stopping for a moment to scratch his cheek awkwardly, and make a comment about your questionable position. Hozuki, as always, made a point to sound as irritated as possible in the lowest tone, and honestly, it was so sexy. He obviously knew what he was doing, and how his voice was extremely overpowering, causing you to go weak at the knees. He turned all of his attention away from your figure, although he refused to let you move.

His hands gripped the desk a little too tightly, forcing it to break.

Instead of landing on the ground, however, you found yourself cradled in Hozuki's arms. You would have blushed, but King Enma was still present, and you didn't want this demon to humiliate you any further. He set you on your feet, turning to the king with a malicious glare, beginning to lecture him about not completing his paperwork. A sigh pierced your thoughts, and you watched Hozuki walk away briskly, muttering something about having to do it himself.

You stared at his back for a while, before hearing laughter.

"He does love you, doesn't he?"

Addressing King Enma, you responded, "I'm no better than that man he despises."

"Hm? Do you mean Hakutaku?" He asked, tilting his head to the side.

You nodded, folding your arms. "He found out what I do, and for a short time, he limited himself to the only man I was allowed to interact with."

"Until?" He prompted, curiously.

Raising an eyebrow, you replied, "Until he realised that I don't have a gender preference."

King Enma chuckled. "Well, Hozuki certainly seems to think that you're different, and he's not giving up, even though you're engaged."

Just then, the main door burst open, revealing a very frustrated demon, and about a million pieces of paper. He trudged forwards, almost like he was wading in thick mud, and promptly slammed the pile down on the king's desk. The aura protruding from him was extraordinarily menacing.

You watched him with a small smile, as he scolded King Enma. He really was the epitome of discipline; maybe his unwavering determination what was made him so attractive in the first place. Whatever it was, you couldn't help laughing slightly at how entertaining this scene was – Hozuki was basically throttling the king, who was supposed to be his superior. The demon had always been this way, and you wondered why this aspect of his personality (the utter disrespect for King Enma) was so very endearing to you. He was surrounded by a constant supply of other women, and yet he always remained faithful to you, even if you played around and were already betrothed. That was just something else you admired – how he could be so seemingly carefree, to the point where he was more than willing to disregard your fiancé, in pursuit of tying the knot with you.

He glanced in your direction, eyes narrowing as he contemplated your expression. You appeared conflicted, which made him worry slightly. He let go of King Enma, and turned towards you.

"Do you want me to dissolve your engagement?"

Your head snapped up, and even the king stared at him like that was an impossible task. Although, you were of the assumption that nothing was impossible for this man.

Sighing, you responded, "It was decided by my father, and he won't free me so easily."

Hozuki lifted his iron club. "We'll see about that."

He exited the room, in almost a sprint. It was quite rare to see that level of urgency from such a refined, monotonous individual. It caused shivers to run down the spines of all those present. You and King Enma exchanged glances, then let out a simultaneous breath. It wasn't usually a good idea to allow him to wander, especially not into that sort of territory, because someone always ended up with extreme injuries, and it wasn't Hozuki.

After a minute or two of heavy silence, the king spoke up. "He's desperate."

"Desperate? I wouldn't say that – impulsive, maybe." You concluded.

He shook his head. "He may not express much other than anger, but this is definitely an intense emotion. He mutters under his breath sometimes, and it's really scary...I'm starting to think he might turn into a Yandere or something..."

"Yandere?" You questioned, clearly unfamiliar with the term.

King Enma smiled. "Well, a Yandere is someone who..."

It couldn't have been more than about ten minutes since you had last seen him, that the Chief of Staff made a re-appearance. Behind him, being dragged along the ground, was the man your father had promised you to – he was a fine warrior, but obviously nothing compared to the demon who had defeated him. There was an odd look on Hozuki's face, almost as if he was trying to reign in a grin or something.

King Enma and yourself looked up from your game of chess, and you got quite a shock when your fiancé was flung on to the ground beneath you. Hozuki brushed his hands together, seemingly ridding himself of the filth.

"They needed some persuasion, but eventually agreed." He clarified.

The atmosphere suddenly became very tense.

He reached into his robe and presented you with some more marriage documents. You sighed, slipping off your now insignificant ring, and tossing it to Hozuki, to do as he saw fit. You were relieved when he promptly destroyed it, before walking up to where you sat, and thrusting the forms into your hands. This time, you set them down gently on the table beside the on-going game of chess – he had just done you a great favour, so perhaps you would consider filling them in at some point.

He took your lack of action as a sign that he was doing something wrong again.

He reached back into his pocket, asking, "Should I do it in a Western style?".

You gazed at the velvet box securely planted in his palm.

This was going to be troublesome.

#hozuki no reitetsu #hozuki x reader #hozuki no reitetsu one shot #romance

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orderuponthe99prettygrimmdiaries · 4 years

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So close, yet still so far.

Well, I did say it in my last post, right? Be a man. Stop calling. But ooof, gotta say, it hurts bad. But maybe a little less than the uncertainty.

I kinda pride myself on the relationships I have with people. I feel good when people trust me enough to confide in me, to tell me stuff they don’t usually tell others...

I also hate losing relationships or seeing friendships fade away. And I know, that’s dumb and something I gotta learn to deal with. And I thought I was okay with that, I thought I already learnt this lesson. People come and go, nothing really lasts forever. It’s just part of life.

Ugh, so why does it hurt so damn bad? I think really now, it’s becoming more set in stone that neither of us are going to do anything about it. I know I won’t, not anytime soon at least. I gotta put me first. At least I’m not feeling any sort of guilt now since he was the one who left me on read. Granted, it was kinda drifting off, but well... Y’know, I realised maybe my honesty the other day really was just the dealbreaker. Maybe there were a lot of dealbreakers already but I was still trying and he was being a little too courteous.

But we have a saying in mandarin “勉强没有幸福” - which basically means if you try and force something too hard, you wouldn’t be happy.

There’s so much I wish I could have done differently. But sometimes, anxiety gets in the way, depression gets in the way. We met at a bad timing, maybe if it weren’t for COVID, things could have gone differently. Then work stress also piled up, all the change in personnel and then workload and being burned out. No proper rests with the schedule, even if so, you might still end up working on your day off. And when you’re back in office, it’s just store work basically all day till even past 6pm and then you stay back to finish your other work.

I’m really trying to be thankful that I still have a job in spite of the pandemic, but ooof, the exhaustion these days is also... My mental health had taken a toll, and I didn’t even realise till too late. I was always crying, overwhelmed. Couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t even breathe. It sucks when you can’t even do the most basic of things. I’ve started relying on focusing my smell on things - mints, essential oils... I try not to complain and rant too much about everything, but I guess it got bottled up, all the way up to the brink.

I started overthinking, dwelling, worrying about everything, the little things. That one time I wanted to treat everybody for lunch and drinks, the other time I brought cookies, and I couldn’t mouth the words to tell them. The insecurities, the fear. The What Ifs.

But, there were also good days. Days where I’m just like, okay, suck it in. You got this. You can just brave on your mask and then be all positive and sunshine, spread that love and positivity and kindness. It works sometimes, but I don’t think it lasts very long either. That’s also another thing... Sometimes I do admire people who can put on a brave front despite everything, and I think I’m that person sometimes, but other days, I’m just falling apart and I can feel my vibes affecting people around me. I absolutely hate that. But if I don’t allow myself to show how I truly feel, aren’t I just wearing a mask all the time?

Sometimes I just wish I could re-meet him. Just start over. I think I was so afraid to fall for him that I didn’t allow myself to feel. And maybe it led me to suppress that once I allowed them in, it just overwhelmed me. I was so afraid to show him my darker sides, I was afraid to speak up. Maybe he would have been supportive and understanding... But also, it’s a little tough sometimes to open your heart like that, especially with someone you’re interested in. Which actually, maybe, all the more I should have, if I wanted to share my life with him.

There were times it was easy to flirt with him, to make a move and even ask him out. I mean, considering it was me who asked him for our date/meet up. Also, was it a date? Anyhoo, I think at some point, I was more afraid to commit rather than facing rejection. Rejection, that’s just me having to pick myself back up and mend this broken heart again, and I do have faith I have the strength to do so over time, with the support of the people around me. But, commitment... I’m afraid that I would hurt the other person, especially unknowingly. Maybe that’s why I have this habit of withdrawing and distancing if I feel someone has intentions to be more than friends with me.

We’ve said it was fate that we met. We’ve also said we’ll leave it up to fate to see where it goes. I think we did both fight for a little at least. Maybe not at the same time, maybe not at the same effort. But I believe we did try? Maybe we could have done better, I could have done better.

But well, fate has other plans perhaps.

We were rather different anyway, but yet similar. It’s so strange. Sometimes it felt he was so right for me, but yet so wrong... I’m probably never gonna get the chance to say this to him, but I really appreciate the time and effort he spent talking and initiating convos. Maybe it was the bare minimum at times, and it was just always small talk about food and work, sometimes about nothing really, I enjoyed it. I loved listening to his voice - calming, comforting, probably why I always wanted to hear it when I was falling apart... I loved that he showed me the different perspectives, when I was stressed and upset, he would focus on the good. Maybe not in all aspects, but I felt he did push me, motivate me to be a better person.

Yet another almost-relationship. Sigh. Will I ever find love someday?

But well, there’s quite a lot of lessons learnt here, I suppose. Made the mistake of creating a version of who I expect him to be, vs who he actually is. And also maybe we focused too much on trying to date, rather than being friends. Also learning that I need to be more open and honest about some stuff, and don’t be too afraid to feel my feelings. It’s tough because I think when I open my heart, sometimes I open up a little too much, but well, when you block out the negative emotions, you block out the positive too.

Meanwhile, keeping this a little more private between us too. I truly appreciate all the advice given by friends, but it got a little conflicting at some point with too many opinions. But that’s on me. I do love how supportive my friends are, and how much they try to look out for me. Even when things got bad, even when it’s down the same shit cycle, they stayed. Well, I guess some had to take a step back, but that’s understandable too.

I think it’s time for me to take a step back too. No one can save you, unless you choose to save yourself. I’ve been trying to bring back the focus to me, to do things that used to bring me joy. Also, trying to spread the love and kindness to friends, something I’ve missed doing since I’ve been distancing myself.

But of course, apart from loving the people around me, it’s time to find my self-love and self-care again. Was watching Enchanted with my friend yesterday, and there was this line, “how can i like someone who doesn’t like themselves”. I’m still conflicted about this line honestly, because I understand it’s tough to find self-love sometimes that we rely on external love, but yes, self-love is also so damn important. But I also remember seeing this, not really sure where now, that - when two people come together in a relationship, they should both be happy with themselves, then coming together as one. A complementary relationship, not a reliant one.

Sometimes I think I have such high expectations for myself that I don’t wanna mess up in the slightest way. Which in turn, messes shit up. It’s funny, on one hand, it’s like I try to be the best I can be, but I’m also a pretty low maintenance, don’t give a shit person. And sometimes I do try hard to be there for people, just so they won’t have to feel the way I feel. I find it tough to say no, because I would feel bad or sorry.

But like my friend says, I need to stop feeling bad and sorry. Sometimes we gotta put ourselves first. This was also a lesson I forgot. Sometimes we gotta be selfish. We can’t always set ourselves on fire to give others warmth.

And well, to end off, also came across this insta story about “Best Way to Get Over Someone”, like damn, even Insta knows. So basically...

Focus on you

Get Busy

Let it all in and accept that it happened and grow from it

Reaffirm things that make you feel satisfied/happy and find yourself again

You’re not to blame. Now it’s time to focus on you. Love yourself. Remember, it takes 2 hands to clap

It’s been nice getting back to writing again. I really do write best when emotional. So yep, time to take a step back and focus on me. Figure out how to love and care for myself again. Let myself feel those feelings, as much as it hurts, as much as it sucks, but better than keeping it all bottled up and not sure when it’ll overflow.

So, a reminder for anyone out there who’s reading this, remember to take a step back and take some time for you. You’ve got this! Take care and stay safe. Lots of love!

#personal #post of the day #feelings #self love #self care #moving on #anxiety #mental health #overwhelmed #friends #work #life #letting go #love #relationships #boys #fate

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of-dxnger · 4 years

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ʻ / let me introduce you to a prized member of our mens lacrosse team , nicholas “nick” black . this cis-male aries has been a student at our institution for 3 years and is currently a twenty one year old junior . through the halls , he has always reminded me of maxence danet-fauvel , but there is always more than meets the eye , like the fact that his father has covered up the deaths of two of nick’s friends over the years. coral cape has made their future just as bright as their smile , i assure you . ʼ ( muse #7 , billie , 25 , gmt+10 , she/her )

your friendly neighbourhood nerd, hi. hit me up on discord ( one salty nerd#9483 ) if you want to plot. below are some facts and details about my misunderstood child nick.

~DOSSIER !

Name: Nicholas Xavier Black Nicknames: Nick Age: 21 D.O.B: 13th April Height: 6″1 Degree: Business/Economics Nationality: French-American Languages: English, French Gender: Cis Male Orientation: soooooo bi

~ HISTORY !

TRIGGERS: death, drugs, alcohol.

ʻ / The taste of his power is rotten; leaves left to fester beneath an autumn sky. Emotions like an ensnared animal, vicious, writhing, raw. That is how he grew, a black pit that demanded attention from everyone around him. His ability was to infect those around him, until it consumes everything and leaves only a vacancy for disdain.

His father had been a strong presence in his life, not always a positive one. The two of them butted heads almost every chance they got these days. Arguements about nearly everything, his lack of commitment, not attending mass, fighting, drinking and drugs, his choice of partners, turning up in shirt and jeans rather than a suit. Nothing he did was good enough so he stopped putting in the effort. It didn’t help that his little sister was the apple of his father’s eye. It had been harder growing up with that, constantly in competition, but it hadn’t taken him long to realise that it wasn’t worth it. He didn’t need his fathers approval, she could have him.

He wasn’t a mother’s boy either, but he certainly had a better relationship with her. He felt bad for leaving her in the house all the time with him. It wasn’t that he was violent to anyone in their family, by no means. But there was something corrupting about him, he didn’t want her to become like him. She was too good. She was usually the one that could get him to go against his own interests, a worried look, a pout, heaven forbid tears. Letting her down or breaking her heart wasn’t something he ever wanted to do, that was why he still did well at his studies, he never caused too much of a scene, although that was by his standards, not hers.

ʻ / Look at me walking around, all Black, free and ungrateful. How dare I, skip a “Hallelujah” to tell you the church is on fire.

Church had always been a big part of their family, they’d always been catholics the Blacks, every sunday was a family trip to mass. Neatly kept hair, fresh pressed clothes, polite hand shakes and smiles reserved for those that he was supposed to respect. It was exhausting. He went and did as he was told, sitting there quietly daydreaming, musing to himself. His attendance waxed and waned, but everytime his mother fussed and worried about him, he felt guilty and would go for her. There were many aspects of being catholic that bothered him, but he was more concerned with being himself, it was why he didn’t feel ashamed when he discovered he was into guys as much as girls. His father had given him a warning to not let it ruin his future, Nick had laughed, and clearly ignored him. His father was so hellbent on imagery and what the public thought of their family, but Nick couldn’t care less.

He’d found himself in the cathedral at university twice in his three years there. The first was when he was just in there for the peace and quiet. He may have been a little high, and laying down on the pews with the stained glass windows bathing him in a kaleidoscope of colours was mesmerising. The second was when he’d gotten so stuck in his own head, panicing and re-living past events, a panic attack wrapping its way around his heart, the only place that made sense to him was the church. Strange, but it worked.

ʻ / Prayers whispered on trembled lips; a wish, a hope that he wasn’t beyond redemption. Pressed to his forehead were the rosary beads of a long dead family member that he’d never met.

Seventeen. How does one learn to cope with losing a friend? Losing someone is never a thing that someone should have to go through. It is only made worse by the fact that no one knew what happened exactly. There was a party, being the rich and spoilt kids that they were, there was of course alcohol and someone had drugs even though there wasn’t supposed to be, that was a problem with spoilt kids, they didn’t like rules. Bryce had been drinking a lot and there was supposedly drugs in his system but Nick was sure he hadn’t taken any, everyone knew him and everyone had talked to him or interacted with him to some degree, so there was an easy to follow timeline. Up until Bryce died. Supposedly falling down the stairs, a nasty wound on his head. But it never sat right with most of the peoeple that really knew him. Friendships dissolved, suspicions tore people apart but the world moved on. What Nick didn’t know was that his father had helped keep the story from reaching the media, had kept certain aspects of the case quiet. He’d never been overly religious, but after this his faith began to falter, he hadn’t properly attended church in a few years, but now he almost felt ashamed to.

Nineteen. He and his lover at the time, Tobias, were perched at the top of a building, not that high. But high enough. Legs swaying in the breeze as they looked over a city that he would one day rule. They’d been up there to talk, somewhere private, yet calming. Nick was calling things off. After sitting there so long in silence, the boredom and finality in his voice was abbrasive even to himself. Tobias hadn’t taken it too badly, obviously there was emotion and as he went to stand up off the ledge and leave, he’d slipped and was dangling from the roof of the building. Nicks fingers gripped so hard at his jacket and wrist, wishing that he had more upper body strength, or the will to lift up other. But after what felt like forever, there was an emptiness in his hands, followed quickly by the disfugred body below. The first thing he did was call his father, call it intuition, or perhaps because he knew deep down that his father wasn’t above dealing with such things. It had taken him so long after that to trust himself to let anyone in, he’d tried rationaising with himself that it was an accident, but it had taken so long for him to truly believe it, there were still times when he didn’t think it was. He’d let go. He never went back to church after that. Occassionally walking by it and considering it, his rosary beads still hung in his room, not quite ready to get rid of them compeltely, but he felt damaged, damned even.

Was he due for another death? After all, things came in threes and he was twenty one now.

ʻ / Trust given without being earned loses meaning; a rotten power he inherited from his father. He tastes it in the smiles of his lovers and the glances of his classmates, in the teachers who congratulate his achievements, and the friends who invite him to party after party. He is wanted and praised, yet not loved.

It was his last name, his family. It opened so many doors, a situation he was willing to take advantage of when the time called for it, but it also meant that a lot of people that tried to ingratiate themselves in his life, were fake. There only to get in good with the family and make their own opportunities. It was bareable at a young age, even invisible. But as he grew it became more obvious and more exhausting to deal with. To the point where he tries to hold off on people finding out he is a Black.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to be part of his family. But sometimes the name came with too much baggage. Some his own, some his siblings or parents. But the reverse of his wanting to stop people trying to use him for what his family could give them was to fiercly protect what was his. His friends, his loved ones, those that he truly cared about... there was nothing he wouldn’t do for them. He’d crossed a boundary once before for a friend and it didn’t bother him as much as it should have. But that’s who he was in his core, protective of his own, once again much like his father. It was infuriating how much of his father he saw in himself when he looked in the mirror.

ʻ / Calloused fingers tracing his bloodstained lips – only to have it wipe away. Shrill screeches of the final whistle, they’d won again. Smug grins were worn that could rival the devils. Yes, they had a reputation for being a rougher team, but it just meant they did whatever it took to win. The blood clinging to net of his crosse, lightly spattering his lips only confirmed this.

Lacrosse had been an exceptional distraction when he’d first started playing for the university during his first year. But it became a rather delightful way to channel his anger and frustration while using his smarts to play tactics. His father told him he should have gone into something stronger, but that was part of the allure of lacrosse, the rebellion. Nick was able to have something that was truly his that his father couldn’t ruin. At least not yet. It was almost a ritual of his to step off the field and smoke a joint before hitting the showers. Something to help mellow him out a little before his shoes hit the flagstones of the university.

Getting his hands dirty wasn’t something he was afraid of, there were plenty at the university that focused on nothing more than books, looking down their noses at sports. Hard work and getting down in the mud were things he guessed he’d picked up from his father, but he knew that his fathers penchant for getting his hands dirty had grown into something more twisted and sinister since he’d left university. It would not be the path that he walked.

~ TL;DR !

From a catholic family.

Has daddy issues.

Sees too much of his father in him (and hates it).

Knows someone who knows someone. Has used drugs. Only shares his stash with a select few.

Likes to be the centre of attention, usually not in a good way.

Antagonistic.

Will start an argument/fight because he is bored.

Is remarkably intelligent.

He finds everyone attractive, super bi, used to feel bad about it, doesn’t care anymore.

May or may not be responsible for someones death.

Lowkey thinks his soul is damned.

~ CONNECTIONS !

( plots are open to anyone and everyone regardless of gender ^_^ )

~~ THE RIDE OR DIE ;; someone who has become increasingly close with nick, they share almost everything with one another, inseperable is a word to describe them, but not so clingy. { OPEN! }

~~ THICK AS THIEVES ;; friends, cause who doesn’t need friends. he’s never really had many close friends. { OPEN! }

~~ THE TEMPTATION ;; someone that acts as a corrupting/distracting influence. { OPEN! }

~~ THE FORBIDDEN TASTE ;; a relationship kept on the down low due to whatever reason, someone he is attracted to. { OPEN! }

~~ THE GIRL NEXT DOOR ;; living next door or down the hall from one another, they could hang out, maybe not? do they get along or merely tolerate one another? { OPEN! }

~~ THE LOVER ;; someone he has been seeing, this is not only about the physical, but the attraction of personalities. neither has taken the initiative to ask themselves if this could be something more. { OPEN! }

~~ THE SAINT ;; a friend or just someone who looks out for nick and often acts as a conscience or moral compass to him, or rather they try to. { OPEN! }

~~ THE EX ;; whether it was a one night stand, a small fling or something more serious, things were broken off for whatever reasons (plots). this could have been a mutual agreement or ended on bad terms. { OPEN! }

~~ THE THORN IN THE SIDE ;; not quite enemies or rivals, but someone that bothers him, or gets under his skin easily. { OPEN! }

~~ THE RIVAL ;; someone that he has a rivalry with, both equally matched, and the tension can be caused by anything, mutual friends, lovers, goals etc { OPEN! }

playlist

anyways that’s my boy, i’m terrible at these so please feel free to message me with any and all plots ^_^

#about #connections #nick #capecoral:intro

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sambergscott · 5 years

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‘cause you’ll be safe in these arms of mine

Summary: Jake and Amy asking people to be godparents, inspired by a convo with @capnperaltiago who asked for me to write this <3

She asks Rosa two minutes after the plastic stick says pregnant.

Jake and Holt are out working a case and Terry’s taken the day off to be with his girls, leaving Amy in charge of the Nine-Nine. Hitchcock and Scully have already started a small fire, one of the uniformed officers lost a piece of evidence and there was a fight amongst two perps in the holding cell. And Amy can’t stop throwing up.

At first she blames it on work-related stress and then she thinks it must have been the Chinese she ate last night while watching re-runs of Friends. It’s not until Rosa pulls out a pregnancy test she picked up from the store that she realises it could be morning sickness.

They’re not even properly trying yet. Sure, she’s come off her birth control because she’s done enough research to know that it could take months to get pregnant after coming off them and they still can’t take their hands off each other, even after over a year of marriage, but neither of them were expecting anything to happen this soon.

She pees on the stick and, several anxiety-ridden minutes later, it comes back positive.

She’s pregnant.

And she panics.

This is what she wanted, what she’s always wanted, but what if Jake’s still not quite ready yet and what if one of them dies on the job and what if they can’t actually afford this and-.

“Santiago,” comes Rosa’s gruff voice, her hands steadying Amy’s quivering shoulders, “you two have got this. You’re gonna be the best parents I know.”

“Even better than Terry and Sharon?” She snivels.

“Yeah.” Then, quickly, “don’t tell them I said that.”

“Your secret’s safe with me,” Amy promises, zipping her mouth shut.

“Yours too.” Rosa mimics her zipping action, throwing the imaginary key into the toilet like she’s Steph Curry.

Amy laughs, a sudden idea popping into her head. It seems weird to ask before consulting Jake, before Jake even knows there’s a baby inside her, but it also feels right. She rips off the bandaid. “Will you be the godmother?”

The detective freezes, her mouth opening and closing like a goldfish. “Me?”

“Mm-hmm.” Amy smiles at Rosa’s surprise. They are complete opposites — Rosa likes motorbikes, Amy likes binders, Rosa likes leather jackets and big boots, Amy likes sensible pantsuits — yet they’ve become sisters, sleuth sisters, over the past nine years. There’s nobody else Amy would consider for the job. “You’ve always had my back and I think you’d have our baby’s back, too. Plus, if our baby turns out like Jake, you’ve always known how to handle him.”

Rosa snorts, then smiles back at her. Amy thinks she detects a few tears in Rosa’s eyes, but doesn’t say a word, not wanting to ruin the moment. Rosa eventually nods. “Yeah. I’m in.”

“C’mere,” Amy cries, the damn pregnancy hormones already making her emotions crazy as she pulls Rosa into a tight hug.

It’s Jake’s idea to make Charles godfather.

Amy’s a little… apprehensive at first, to say the least, considering Charles’ track record of being totally obsessed with every aspect of their personal lives. He’s sent her 75 emails about birthing tips, offering his doula services at the end of each one, in the last week alone. He came round their apartment one night to get rid of all coffee, alcohol, shame cigarettes and any other No-No foods during pregnancy. He’s already suggested the names Charles Peralta if it’s a boy and Charlotte if it’s a girl, which Amy vetoed immediately. Making Charles godfather would only allow him into their lives further. And she loves her husband’s best friend, she really does, but she doesn’t want their kid becoming obsessed with weird milk and beige-coloured clothes and the TV show Bunheads.

When Jake argues that nobody else is gonna love their kid more than Charles, Amy finally agrees. Charles will shower their baby with all the love in the world. And if Charles has any influence at all on his godchild, it will be that their kid will be just as big a fan of Jake as Charles is.

Unlike Rosa, they both agree that they can’t just ask Charles. It needs to be an event — like when Jake asked him to be his best man with sparklers and a big ol’ banner. Amy suggests they ask him on Halloween and they spend a full evening planning how it’s going to go down.

“This year’s object is this t-shirt,” Jake announces to the squad on the biggest night of the year, holding up a plain white t-shirt with the words “Amazing Human/Genius” printed in gold foiling. “Whoever has it in their possession at midnight will be declared the winner.”

Like Halloween V, Jake has the real prize waiting in the evidence lock-up. But he doesn’t tell anyone that.

When The Tramps (with Rosa in on Jake and Amy’s secret) barge into the evidence lock-up at two minutes before midnight, thinking they’re finally the champions, Charles is the first to lift the t-shirt out of the storage box.

(It was the one with the uneven dust pattern, just like when Jake proposed to Amy, just like he’d heard a million times over when he asked to hear the story on a bi-weekly basis).

He furrows his brow when he realises the words don’t say what they’re supposed to.

Jake and Amy jump out from behind a stack of evidence boxes and Charles shrieks. For a second they think they’ve caused yet another colleague to die from a heart attack, but he somehow stays on his feet.

“Amazing Godfather/Genius,” he reads the adapted text, trembling like a leaf. His eyes meet Jake’s, who nods, confirming that, yes, his wildest dreams have indeed come true.

“What do you say, bud?” Jake prompts.

“Yes! Yes! A thousand times yes!”

Amy laughs happily as she watches her husband and his best friend embrace, exchanging wide grins with Terry and Rosa. Their kid is a lucky guy or girl with their entire Nine-Nine family looking out for them.

There’s only one last thing to do.

They arrange to have dinner with Holt and Kevin to ask them if they will be the “god-grandfathers” of their unborn child.

(“God-grandfathers are not a thing, Peralta,” Amy had said when he first proposed the word, rolling her eyes.

“Who says?”

“The Merriam-Webster Dictionary, for starters.”

“Well, it’s a thing now,” Jake decided. He’d never cared for the Merriam-Webster Dictionary before, so why should he now? No use changing the habit of a lifetime. “It’s our thing. Because they’re our #Dads. I wouldn’t feel comfortable raising our kid without them.”

Her face softened, tears pricking at her eyes — those damn pregnancy hormones again — and she finally agreed. “God-grandfathers it is.”)

She’s incredibly nervous by the time they’re at the front door of the Holt-Cozner home, her fingers twisting the ends of her hair into a messy braid.

Jake places his hand atop hers, stilling her fingers. He gives her hand a supportive squeeze. “It’s gonna be great, Ames.”

They don’t bring it up until there’s a lull in conversation mid-way through the casserole Kevin prepared for them, unable to wait any longer. Even Jake is a little anxious, his leg bouncing beneath the table, when he broaches the subject.

“You know how Charles and Rosa are going to be our baby’s godparents?”

“Yes, I recall Raymond mentioning the fact,” Kevin responds. “Apparently it is all Detective Boyle talks about.”

“He’s very excited,” Amy says, amused. She finds herself less annoyed and more touched by Charles’ antics when they’re directed at others and not her or her email inbox.

“Well, Ames and I would love it if you two would have an important role in our kid’s life because, I don’t know if you’ve noticed because we’re super subtle about it, but we kind of consider you both as father figures.”

“We have noticed.”

“You are not subtle at all,” Holt assures them.

“Cool, cool, cool. No doubt. No doubt. No doubt. What do you say? Would you like to be the god-grandfathers to Nakatomi Peralta?”

“Please tell me you’re not naming your child after a building from your favourite movie,” Holt says disapprovingly.

“No,” Jake scoffs, then, under his breath, “Nakatomi is a character, too.”

“We would be honoured.” Kevin smiles lovingly at his husband, then at Jake and Amy. After a few seconds, his smile falls. “Although you are aware god-grandfathers are not a real thing, yes?”

“It’s our thing,” Amy repeats Jake’s words from earlier, beaming from ear to ear.

When their baby arrives, seven point five pounds of perfection, they have a lot of visitors, all wanting to feast their eyes on the precious addition to the family. The grandparents get first hold (apparently Victor and Roger had another arm wrestling match in the hospital waiting room to decide who got the very first hold), then Amy’s brothers that live in the city, then the godparents and god-grandparents.

Charles starts crying the moment he’s in the same room as her, only stopping when Amy threatens to make him leave.

Rosa smiles more than either Jake and Amy have ever seen her smile.

Captain Holt is quite simply enamoured with the little bundle of blankets, unable to mask his emotions in his usual robotic way when his god-granddaughter grips his pinky finger.

Jake and Amy exchange proud parent smiles as they watch their hours-old daughter with four of the people they trust most, knowing she will always be safe, loved and happy when in their arms.

#my writing #peraltiago fics #b99 fics #jake x amy #the end is corny but!!!!#i've been thinking about this fic for weeks

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paperclipninja · 5 years

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Younger post-ep ramble 6x09

After the very public outing of Liza’s real age last week, it was no surprise that this week’s Younger episode, ‘Millennial’s Next Top Model’, was all about the fallout. In true Younger style we were treated to some unexpected twists and turns, saw Kelsey take control at work and in her personal life and welcomed back my #1 mega-villain who I hate-love fiercely, Quinn Tyler. This ep was written by Grant Sloss, who is responsible for a number of my favourite episodes and lot of my fave moments in the series and one thing I am always blown away by is his ability to craft character interactions in which the sentiment and emotion are really palpable (plus the one-liners are always top of the game) and we certainly saw a number of those this week. Even though Liza is 100% responsible for the position she now finds herself in, my heart went out to her this whole episode and Kelsey, Charles and Diana’s show of solidarity right from the get-go pretty much sums up everything I love about this show.

I need to say upfront that while I know this episode is all about Liza, it is hands down my favourite episode of Kelsey’s in the series. In a time of real pressure and stress, we see Kelsey step up in the role of publisher, starting with the damage control team meeting in her office. I have big feelings about this opening moment, in which Diana proves why she is an actual Queen who rises above past grievances and now offers unwavering support of Liza while continuing to have zero time for Zane’s bullshit (the ‘well mercifully they have a paywall now’ to Zane’s New York Magazine tidbit was all of the yes). We learn of the deal with Infinitely 21 (was it just me or did anyone else get heart flutters at the thought of Kelsey, Diana and Liza being their brilliant selves and brokering that arrangement? Just me? Cool) and I have spoken of my love for the way this show parodies real life things but this might take the cake. Alexa, what are synonyms for ‘forever’? I just adore that it is very clear that Kelsey is in charge and that Charles and Diana are offering up potential solutions (Diana’s ‘rest her a bit’ is so in character I cannot. Between that and Charles’ thoroughbred thighs from season 4 I fully expect her to have a couple of horses upstate somewhere called Charles and Liza by the end of this series), meanwhile Zane clearly still hasn’t caught on to the fact that these three are not going to throw Liza under a bus.

Enter Liza as he’s ending his tirade about her poisoning the company (and lbh, what he is saying isn’t actually ridiculous from a business p.o.v but he’s talking about the best friend, girlfriend and (old) maid of honour of the people in the room) and it’s awkward af and pretty awful and I want to climb through my screen, wrap Liza in a blanket and tell her it’s all going to be ok. Zane’s extreme over-estimation of his importance in Liza’s life continues when he tells her that what he’s saying can’t be personal because ‘I don’t know who you are’ (worth it for Charles’ ‘Zane’ reprimand though amirite) and as I said after last week’s episode, I can’t even count on one hand the number of interactions Zane and Liza have had so yes Zane, that is accurate and nothing to do with her age reveal. At least once he discovered that Kelsey has known about the lie he FINALLY has a reason to be hurt (maybe? Still a little fuzzy on this one) and look Zane saying they’re all insane might be somewhat accurate but everyone in that room loves Liza and I love all of them so I felt personally attacked tbh.

Keeping with the stellar guest star casting this season, Shelly Rozansky (played by Annaleigh Ashford) is every kind of irritating as brand rep of Infinitely 21. Kelsey and Liza’s meeting with her, in which Shelly explains that 'the tea’ is that their authentic brand cannot be associated with Millennial’s inauthentic one (I love the moral high ground re: brand but I’m pretty sure Millennial doesn’t have factory workers making less than a living wage so…) and this very real ramification of Liza’s lie paves the way for one of Liza’s best moments on the show to date.

Taking that tea of Shelly’s and throwing it in her face, Liza’s monologue that 'everyone is pretending to be younger’ reaches it’s climax with the zinger, 'Millennial is not an age, it’s an attitude and if you can’t sell that, we’ll go somewhere else’, and Kelsey’s look of pride, same girl SAME. One thing I have commented on in the past is that as a '26 year old’ Liza rarely, if ever, really stood up for herself. The few times we’ve seen her do so have been as the forty year old who takes no crap from anyone (David, Charles, Don) so I am here times a million for strong ass Liza to finally shed that guilt, know her worth and be able to show this side of herself now that the lie is no longer in play (I feel like Diana will dig this very much).

Turns out Shelly was quite into Liza’s feisty outburst too ('what you screamed at me today, justifiably, we’re still friends promise…it resonated’ = award winning line/delivery combo), as she calls to let Liza know they’re going to unfreeze the partnership and asks Liza to be the face (and legs) of Infinitely 21’s Spring campaign. This phone call takes place in a very delicious looking cupcake shop where Liza and Charles are playing cards with his daughters in an all round delightful family situation that gives us a glimpse of the Miller-Brooks dynamic and makes the point that after a pretty terrible day, Liza is grateful to have this in her life to counter all the drama. I am also pleased to see that Bianca and Nicole have been located (meanwhile Caitlin, Beth and all of Josh’s friends remain stuck in the Upside Down or have become bunker people or something equally ominous I fear).

I am very into a number of aspects of this entire scene: a) Charles eating candy just up and gets me for some reason. I don’t know why, I can’t explain it, but it’s akin to seeing him walking round barefoot, it confuses my brain but I’m pretty sure I like it; b) Bianca is clearly the fave child with her cute little, 'I won’t take your last bag of candy Liza’ (lol at Charles’ 'wow’ when Liza offers that up for the taking btw, he knows that’s a serious gamble) though I was 100% Nicole as a kid; c) those kids are so not sleeping after all that sugar so I hope they’re staying at Pauline’s, while Charles’ dad game is strong with the breakfast cupcakes and; d) Charles kissing Liza on the cheek as she takes Shelly’s call is so damn sweet (pun intended) and supportive and I love that Liza suggesting he go stand with the girls in case she starts crying again indicates she has been an open mess around him. It’s writing like this that I really appreciate when there is so much to fit into an episode, because it provides insight into the kind of relationship Liza and Charles have when there simply isn’t time to show it.

While Liza is drowning her sorrows in candy and cupcakes, Maggie is at the brilliantly cringy art exhibit, 'Masculinity Detox: A Softer Male Gaze’. Look I have to be honest, I was really happy to see Oded Fehr because he can play a skeeze with charm like no other, but I don’t know how I feel about this entire plot. I can only comment on it from a straight perspective, so I am aware that I’m not really in a position to express an opinion in relation to the impact of showing a gay character thinking it’s a good idea to sample a penis every ten years or so, but I certainly feel like it’s problematic. In relation to this character though, it is consistent with Maggie sleeping with Tommy Minetti (and his sister Tammy) as a result of Berlin’s 'Take my Breath Away’ (I don’t know why I remember that, I can’t remember what month it is yet this stuff is right there) and there is no denying that there were actual sparks between Maggie and Rafael in the loft, the palpable chemistry that Grant Sloss’ eps seem to draw out on full display.

Another dimension of Maggie that I love seeing emerge in this ep is that while she is usually a total badass in absolute control, every now and then we see that her judgement of character is just way off. There was Montana, those weirdo art collectors who actually collect artists and now this guy. I love that there’s a side of her that gets a bit blinded by flattery so she thinks 'what the hell?’ and the inevitable 'oh I CAN-NOT with this bullshit’ that follows, usually very publicly - Exhibit A: Maggie countering dirtbag Rafael’s, 'I’ll change you mind, I’m a flipper’ with a literal flip of the restaurant table once she realises she was simply another conquest. She seems so unflappable that these reminders that she’s fallible (I legit sometimes forget she’s not an actual super hero) are really great and maintains the 'flawed human’ aspect this show does so well. Honestly, other than Liza in a full tracksuit (sweat clothes?? I don’t know what it is in American but that cute pink sweat top and sweatpants combo) thinking they were being robbed and very confused by what had happened (so were we all lbh and Kinsey 9 LOL), it was Maggie equating sex with a man to being suffocated by a damp rug that was the highlight of this entire storyline for me. So damn funny.

Diana continues to have Liza’s back as she heads to the photo-shoot to steer her away from anything pleather (I may need a spin off of these two or some kind of one off special episode that’s just an elaborate Diana/Liza adventure, maybe rescuing Caitlin and co. from the bunker??), but not before we catch Kelsey still slaying it as a boss as she leaves a voicemail for the increasingly petulant Zane. Hearing her so firm and sure of herself is brilliant and the friendship vibe between Diana and Kelsey is peaking and I am loving every bit of it. I am so glad we heard Diana asking Kelsey how she took the lie, while Diana was able to forgive and move forward it would have been strange if we didn’t see her still processing some of it this week. Plus it’s Diana who points out that Zane’s tantrum is not because Liza is who he is upset with (and THANK YOU Kelsey for pointing out that Liza and Zane hardly know each other).

Rather than letting the whole Zane thing fester away, Kelsey continues to impressively show initiative by going to Zane’s and offering to cook dinner (which Zane knows is a lol and it’s not long before he’s cooking, so well played Kels) to give him the opportunity to ask anything he wants and she will answer honestly. Once a proper explanation of why Liza lied and why Kelsey kept it from him is given, Zane suddenly reverts back to being a rational human being which is a relief because he was fast becoming the worst (though his comment that they were all bad liars, what now?? Yes they be cray but their lying game is strong friend). I am not particularly invested in Kelsey and Zane as a pairing but I always appreciate good storytelling and writing, and revisiting the fact Zane told her he loved her in past tense was an example of both of these. In order for any kind of relationship between these two to progress believably this needed to be addressed and hearing Kelsey call Zane out on his shitty and manipulative behaviour was great, but even greater was seeing Kelsey drop her guard.

Opening up about being mad at herself too and that maybe if they were both more open about their feelings they wouldn’t have wasted so much time denying how they really felt; that she felt, no, feels, the same way, present tense; the resetting of the timer so she can finish what she was going to say instead of taking the option of backing out; the honest conversation…you know what all this is? Growth. Kelsey Lorraine Peters, I am just so damn proud of you because I am the first to admit that I was not sure this character could be redeemed for me after last season but here we are. The emotion for this whole scene, you could feel it and Zane’s, 'oh that timer was for food’ was fab, before he just casually drops in, ’ I love you, but stay out of my kitchen’. OK. Smitten mode activated.

Meanwhile, Diana is no doubt enjoying Shelly’s disbelief that she and Liza are almost the same age about as much as a root canal and Lauren appears with a 'bowflex for your face’ to combat the 5 o'clock jowls. Side note: Lauren and Liza really need to have a convo asap because I definitely feel like Lauren is not ok with the lie since it’s been revealed. Scene of the ep goes to Charles walking into the trailer (with flowers for Liza *swoon*) while Diana is flapping that contraption, before he slowly backs away and I tell you, I was howling so hard I almost ruptured something. Liza’s hideous romper/scooter combo is just no on many levels, she clearly feels super unnatural and the photographer snapping Charles and Liza, who are not expecting to be photographed while her being made up to look so young obviously makes them look very far apart in age and a bit awks means that yes, the daddy/daughter dance vibe is strong, though that line made me vom in my mouth a little bit.

Between shoots our extremely excellent villain Quinn pays Liza a visit to show her support and her well-polling glasses. Her real talk that the good news about the publishing reaction to Liza’s lie is that 'eight blocks outside of midtown, nobody cares’, is what we were all thinking and is def to be filed under 'G’ for Gold. So naturally Quinn drags her into a completely self-serving NY1 interview (bless Liza for thinking they wanted to interview her) and I freaking love Quinn, she’s such a delicious character coz she’s awful and funny and pretty and a total smart ass. I stan.

Before we jump to the second part of the photo-shoot I have to say that the very obvious ploy to try and juxtapose Liza’s relationships with Charles and Josh felt like it was trying too hard and was mostly disappointing to me because it felt so forced. I want to be very clear that it has nothing to do with who I like Liza with romantically, it would have felt contrived regardless and was the only aspect of the episode that I felt could have been crafted with a little more nuance. Or maybe that was the point? Perhaps the obviousness was part of the humour of it *shrug emoji*

Either way, Liza is looking pretty exhausted when Josh turns up at the bar photo-shoot for reasons (whose name I am betting is Lauren Heller because there is no way he would just turn up and it is 100% in her wheelhouse to send him along after seeing the expressions on her face at the earlier shoot. I feel like this will def come out at some point and that really this whole shoot is serving to bring about stuff in future eps) and he doesn’t get to explain why he is there because he’s teasing Liza about being a model and I really do love their banter. Shelly has no idea what’s happening but she likes it and is thirsting pretty hard as she shakes his hand and I enjoyed hearing Liza talk about Josh as patient zero, her 'would you correct him?’ as she squeezed his cheeks made me smile. I know there have been a LOT of feelings about this scene expressed on social media, but I found the reminiscing, as Josh talked about how when he first met Liza he thought she was smart and sexy and he wanted to keep talking to her, really sweet (and quickly countered by his joking about being really drunk and it being dark).

I actually love this dynamic so much and if this show had moved these two properly into the friendzone I would be celebrating this as a pin-up example of how to show romantic-platonic relationship transition. I still may, because at this stage there is nothing to indicate that Liza is anything but committed to Charles and Josh gave no impression of pining for her IMO, but as an experienced TV connoisseur (aka obsessive tv show watcher) I am not naive enough to think that this interaction mightn’t be setting in motion a resurgence of the triangle. By the same token, I do not see any triangle in play at the moment and one thing this show does excel at is surprising us, so time will tell, but I am going to keep my faith in the writers to tell good, compelling stories that stay true to all the excellent characters and narratives they have in front of them, as they have done up until now.

While Liza’s colleagues aren’t going to throw her under a bus, Quinn is not only more than happy to, I’m pretty sure she’d drive the bus herself if it served her own self interest. Quinn saying that she found out about Liza’s lie the week before in The New Yorker article, ooomph, did you feel that? It was the wind being knocked out of all of us, along with poor Liza, as Quinn counters Liza’s suggestion that she knew the truth before she invested on live TV. It was evident fairly quickly that Quinn was using the interview as a campaign platform and Liza’s expression as Quinn betrays her so publicly is yet another credit to Sutton Foster’s incredible talent.

My Kelsey love was brought home this week when she met Quinn following the NY1 interview. She is unrelenting in her backing of Liza and unwavering in her stance to Quinn when she is asks her to fire Liza. From the moment she arrives Kelsey is so kick ass, she sees every one of Quinn’s attempts to bully her into getting what she wants and Kelsey’s, 'please don’t minimise the strength I bring to this meeting’ was such a hell yes moment. There is something so satisfying about seeing Quinn in a position where she needs something from Kelsey and Kelsey standing so firm. Kelsey’s 'are we done here?’ before walking away was such a power move and the transition into her own office the next day, with Charles reassuring her that she did the right thing, was wonderful. Seeing these two as equals, talking business with a bit of a mentor/mentee dynamic is a dream. It was on my season 6 wish list and I can’t wait to see more of it.

It is upon discovering that Audrey Colbert’s manuscript delivery cheque bounced and that Diana just heard one of the Jennifer’s, the sloppy one from publicity (this line, I swear and also I need to meet her), say her direct deposit didn’t go through that we discover Quinn has thrown the ultimate tantrum and pulled her funding and Mercurennial is broke.

Poor Liza feels that it’s all her fault, I’m sure partly because of the way her colleagues turn and look at her when she walks in the office and partly because it is, but Charles continues to play the role of ultimate supportive partner as they stroll down the street after work, pointing out that Liza attracted Quinn to the company in the first place (and we ALL know it was not the company she was attracted to). I am simple folk and Charles saying he’s spoken for as he put his arm around her made me melt into a puddle and if anyone is feeling concerned about Liza’s level of besotted, watch this final scene as Charles reassures her that, 'you know what’s great about the worst thing happening? There’s no place to go but up. Only good things ahead’. I may have actually died from the sweetness of the entire thing and Liza does exactly what any self respecting person would in that situation and kisses him before they walk off hand in hand. To live happily ever after…jokes LOL I mean it’s television and it turns out Infinitely 21 has the most efficient marketing team on the planet because their campaign is launched and whattya know, it looks as though Liza and her ex will be plastered all over the city.

File under 'O’ for OF COURSE.

#youngertv #younger tv #ramble #review #younger season 6 #6x09 #liza miller #charles brooks #diana trout #kelsey peters #team charles #tv

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toby-stephens · 5 years

Text

MAY 2018 : TOBY NEWS

‘LOST IN SPACE’:

By May 16th, it was pretty much confirmed there would be a Season 2 of ‘Lost in Space’, confirmed on 20th by Netflix twitter.

‘SUMMER OF ROCKETS’:

Also confirmed was a new BBC 2 cold war drama, ‘Summer of Rockets’ to star Toby alongside Keeley Hawes, Linus Roache & Timothy Spall.

This six-part series is set in the UK during the Cold War period of the late 1950s, a time when the UK, like much of the world, was dealing with the threat of international espionage and nuclear armageddon.

Filming has begun in and around London and Oxford, and it will be screened sometime in 2019.

The story will be Poliakoffs personal insight into this period and is set against the backdrop of Britain testing its first hydrogen bomb.

Executive Producer Helen Flint, a long-time collaborator with Poliakoff on productions such as Close To The Enemy, Shooting The Past and Perfect Strangers, said:

This piece set in 1958, is hinged at the pivotal point of world history where the past and future are pulling in equal strength and human beings, young and old have little control over the eventual outcome.

IN TOBY’S OWN WORDS:

On “Lost in Space”:

“I think they have been very respectful to the original series, but they smashed it out in their own way. The thing is, one cant’ be overly reverential to these things because otherwise, you’re just remaking exactly what was already made very well.”

“I think John’s just trying to find his place within this family now. The idea is that he was confronted with the situation of his family going away and him never seeing them again unless he went along. Now that he’s come along for this ride, he’s trying to find his way back into the family, how to relate to his family, how to relate to Maureen, and how to work things out.”

“In my case, why I think it is fun and why I think it works is there’s something timeless about the original idea. The Swiss Family Robinson, obviously, is the original idea of a family in jeopardy. It follows the trials of that family, but also the emotional trials of how they overcome their problems and their weaknesses, because they have to confront them and overcome them.”

“That was then taken into ‘Lost in Space’. In the first iteration of that what worked is that you’re looking at a regular family and their problems, but in this extraordinary situation. It’s hundreds of light years away from earth in a space ship and on a planet, but they’re having the same regular, everyday problems of any other family. The irony of that is that dynamic is really fun. What we’ve done is we’ve updated it, so rather than it being this pristine, apple pie, American family, its a modern family with all of its dysfunctions.”

“We know every family has dysfunctions. There is no ideal, pristine family, and the Robinsons are one of those families. Just a normal family that everybody can relate to, but it’s in this extreme situation and you still get the ironies of watching a family deal with each other and their own problems in the way every family does that you can relate to, but in this extraordinary back drop of being on a planet thousands of light years away. I think that that trend still works and its fun.”

“The only reason to do something again is if you feel that you can say something to a new generation of people and you can do it in a totally individual way. You’re just taking the kernel of the original idea and re-doing it, but for now.”

“We can’t replicate what was done in the original show. It just wouldn’t work now. The tone of it is very different although it still retains some of the fun aspects of it, the comic stuff that goes on there, the light touch. I don’t think we could repeat what that show became.”

“I think the original pilot episode is much more akin to what we’re doing. As the series went on, it became if you’ll forgive this phrase campier and campier. It was almost like a sitcom, but in space. I just don’t think that that would work now. So, we’ve made it into something that is lots more for todays generation.”

“I think it’s really great that they did a gender swap. It’s actually a genius stroke because you cannot replicate what was done with that character in the original series. But Parker Posey is such an individual performer. She brings to it her own sense of wackiness and fun.”

"That is a reflection of what the original character was, but it’s very much its own thing, and I think that’s absolutely right. If you cast a man in that part, they would feel this pressure to replicate what was done in the original series, a moustache-twirling villainous kind of thing. I think it just wouldn't hold water now and it would just seem sort of arch.”

“In other words, I think what Parker Posey does is so much her own thing, and as it goes on, you realise that it’s a much more nuanced character in that there are reasons for her being the way she is. I like that you can get the fact that she is horrible and does terrible things, but at the same time, she’s a real and complex character.”

“I don’t have any interest in doing that at all. I love earth. It’s a beautiful planet, and I think, going to Mars, although it looks amazing from aerial photographs taken from orbiting satellites and things like that, and I’ve seen documentaries about it, but I think it’s a desolate, dangerous place, filled with radiation. It would be too dangerous going there, and so arduous.”

“I think that is one of the things that we show. There is a warning to this. The idea that we can trash this planet and then move on to another planet somewhere else, that there’ll be some other Goldilocks planet that we can go to, have it and trash that one, and then just keep on moving on, its crazy. We have to look after the planet were on. I’m all for space exploration, but I wouldn’t want to do it myself because I’ve got kids and a family and the idea would be terrifying to me.”

“The planet is presented to an audience initially as, ‘Oh, it’s so great. It’s got oxygen, so they can breathe. It’s similar to the Earth.’ But then as you get further and further into the drama, you realise there are more and more hostile things about this planet that are dangerous and there are reasons that there are storms with diamonds and deserts. There are astronomic reasons why this planet is like that, which then become apparent. Then they realise that they have to get off it. This isn’t somewhere where they can just set up their colony.”

“It is aspirational to me in that it’s about people trying to be better, in the best way that American shows and films sometimes do. When it doesn’t work, its because its super sentimental and glib.”

“This is about people who find themselves in jeopardy, but also they’re in jeopardy in their personal relationships, in the way that they relate to each other, and it shows how they overcome their own problems and weaknesses. They all do that in a very real way, so I think that’s aspirational.”

“Also, one of the things in watching this, the kids are so bright and so capable, especially the girls. One of the things I would like my daughter to get from this is how strong and capable the girls are, and how intelligent they are. They’ve worked really hard to be that way.”

“It would inspire me, if I was a child, to want to work hard and to want to be like that. Look, I’m not saying that TV should be life changing. It’s entertainment, but if it, along the way, inspires kids, or reflects good qualities, aspirational qualities, without lecturing people or being sentimental, I think that’s good. I think ‘Lost in Space’ does that to a certain extent, in a way that family shows should do, in a gentle kind of encouraging nurturing way, rather than patronising.”

Source: parade.com

“When I discussed it with Zack Estrin he was like, look, this is not an apple pie family. This is a family that is full of great people, but they’re damaged here. The relationship between the mother and father is dysfunctional. They’ve padded it, and it’s in disrepair and that’s part of the drama. Are they gonna be able to figure things out? How do they relate to one another? It’s an estranged father, who’s been away fighting wars and stuff like that, and he has become disconnected from his kids.”

“It’s just not very dramatically interesting to have a family thats always kind of fine. I mean, it’s dramatic enough that they’re in this life-threatening situation, but you add to the drama by saying they don't really know how to relate to one another and there’s this whole family dysfunction that they have to work out as well. And are they gonna work that out?”

“There’s something disingenuous about them being a family that’s perfect. Not only would it be dramatically boring, but it’s also just not true. We know anybody who has a family knows that it’s not perfect and that people make mistakes. But the thing is that these people, like everyone, are just trying to do better. And I think that that is something everyone can relate to, whether you’re a kid or you’re an adult.”

“One of the things that I really love about the show is that it’s aspirational. This family, they are, they’re people who are trying to be better and do good and to survive. And so it’s very, in many ways I think its a very cognitive show. And all these relationships in the end, while they’re complicated they are part of this. And we need that kind of, I think we need the kind of show like that because theres a lot of really depressing shows out there, which are fantastic and amazing, but they’re really depressing. And this is one has a really positive message and a kind of affirming message.”

“To be able to do what they wanted to do with this show, to kind of make it as magical to kids now as it was when it originally came out in 1965 it takes an organisation like Netflix that can throw enough money at it to achieve that. The kind of wonder and the kind of adventure. The scale of the adventure that they’re going for.”

“I think what I really loved about it was the kids are really intelligent. If I was a kid watching this I would go, I want to be as intelligent and as capable as that child. Im gonna work harder in school. Im gonna really try and work hard at math. That’s great as well. So I like that, the fact that the kids, to some extent, end up helping out the adults. Its a nice dynamic.”

“The kids need that adventure and the fun. But then the grown-ups who are watching the show need to care about these people as well and enjoy the show on a different level. So we were kind of like, that part of the show is for the grown-ups. For them to relate to these people and to identify with them. To go, I know what thats like. I know how difficult that can be sometimes."

“I really love working with Molly. We actually had a lot of dialogue early on, both together and with Zack Estrin, about just figuring out exactly what their relationship was. Because when we were talking, we were both like, This marriage has to seem real to people; otherwise people just aren’t gonna care.”

Source: indiewire.com

“One of the relationships I though was really quite clever is not between Will and the robot, but between John and the robot. The fact is the son chooses the company and protection of the robot above his own father.”

Source: thetimes.co.uk

“If it’s going to be a family show, then the families have to recognise themselves through the screen. We had to present normal families, and modern families are all complicated.”

Source: dailynewsegypt.com

“There's this sort of thing of, ‘Oh, why are they together on this thing if they’re separated?’ It’s like, If you don’t take me with you, I’ll never see my family again. So theres that reason for him being there”

Source: io9.gizmodo.com

“They sent me the script and I was dubious, at first. I said, ‘Lost in Space’? They’re reviving that?! They tried to do that with the film, and it didn’t work. And then, I read the script and I actually liked it. The thing I liked most was that they were pitching it at such a great level. It was sophisticated enough for adults to watch and really get something out of it, and yet it had this fantastic adventure quality. What I really liked about it is that the kids are intelligent and its aspirational. If I were a kid watching this, I’d be like, I want to be that bright and that capable. And it doesn’t get ridiculous. They pitched it at the right level. And I felt that Maureen and John were real people. I like the way that they were written and I liked the fact that it was a relationship in trouble. They’re trying to figure out how to get along and how to deal with not only this extreme situation that they’re in, with extreme jeopardy and the terror of that, but also figuring out how to work things out between themselves. Thats what sold me on it. They seemed to be a family that people can relate to because its not some apple pie family that just doesn’t exist. They’re fallible human beings, who are trying to be better.”

“Like most kids, they’re all completely different from one another, and they have different strengths and weakness, just like normal kids in a family. It’s about how you cope with that. All of those different dynamics that happen seemed real to me, they're just in these extraordinary circumstances.”

“It’s brilliant! It’s one of the reasons that I love doing what I do. You can do something so entirely different, not only in its context, but also in its whole feel. I had done ‘Black Sails' for four years and it was a really tough journey for me. I know it sounds slightly pretentious, but I really was wrung out, by the end, by the whole experience. It was an amazing experience, but Ive never worked that hard, in my life. There were long days with extreme conditions, filming in South Africa, and you had to go from massive physical set pieces to doing intense dialogue scenes. You’d go from one extreme, of being beaten up physically, to another extreme, of being beaten up mentally. So, when this came along and I started doing it, it was a relief to me. With ‘Black Sails’, Flints journey and options were narrowing down and it was inevitable, what was going to happen to him. With ‘Lost in Space’, it seems to be opening out. Its about people trying to survive and trying to be better people and fighting to be alive. Flint had a death wish. After four years, that was really dark. It’s just a really nice juxtaposition to ‘Black Sails’, which I miss, enormously, but it felt like I was on holiday with ‘Lost in Space’. Although, like any job, ‘Lost in Space’ had its own pressures, but they weren't the same pressures that I experienced on ‘Black Sails’.

“His relationship with the kids, that was a wonderful journey for me, as an actor. I really enjoyed playing that. As the season progresses, the robot becomes this surrogate father and protector for Will, who’s physically frightened. The irony is that Will has this father who is very brave, and who’s gone off on done all of this fighting in war, and he’s very capable, himself, but he’s nervous and frightened. So, the robot becomes very protective of him, but at the same time, threatens John. His son has to go to a robot to get what he should be giving him, and thats painful for him. The realisation that he's missed out on an enormous amount of his kids childhood and not being there for them, and trying to make up for that and connect with them again, is a very moving thing to play.”

“Initially, John is very distrustful of the robot. It’s a real problem because you need the robot in this extreme situation, since he seems to be able to help you, but at the same time, what is this thing goes berserk? You just don’t know what he's going to do. And as the show goes on, you realise that there are more reasons for him to distrust this thing. The whole thing is a great journey. All of that is really fun to play.”

“The biggest learn for me, that I’ve never had to do before, was doing all of that spaceship acting, sitting in the pilots chair and knowing what all the buttons do. That was such fun. While you’re doing it, you’re going, What am I doing?!, and then you have to remember what you used the buttons for, the next time. Being on a spaceship, throwing yourself around, I had a blast. You have to pinch yourself, once in awhile, and go, What am I doing?!”

“Yeah, the spacesuit was pretty uncomfortable, I have to say. One of the things I most enjoyed about the shoot, because it was so refreshing to me, was working with the kids. One becomes a bit jaded. Its easy to fall into saying, Oh, this spacesuit is so uncomfortable! But when Max Jenkins is jumping around going, This spacesuit is so cool!, it’s so refreshing. It’s so refreshing to be around that enthusiasm. It’s infectious. It was so great having the kids around because it just made you realise how lucky we were to be doing what we were doing.”

“We had a little bit of rehearsal time, but it was just a little bit. Max is such an easy kid to get to know. He’s just so open, and his parents are adorable. We couldn’t have lucked out more with the children that we got because they’re really great kids. They’re really open, really friendly, really open to having a great time, and up for learning. That just makes things so much easier. Im assuming that things can go very differently. We were incredibly lucky. All of us just really got on well and working with them seemed very natural. There didn’t seem to be any process that we had to go through. It just happened very quickly.”

“Molly and I spent a lot of time with Zack Estrin, talking about their relationship. If this isn’t a real relationship and a real family than nobody is going to care. The relationship has to be real without being depressing or sentimental. It has to be something that people can relate to. Especially because this is a family show, grown ups have to watch this, so it has to be sophisticated, as well as incredibly fun for the kids. We need grown ups and parents to be able to relate to Maureen and John and their problems and aspirations. What made it really great fun for me was working with Molly because she’s such a great actress, and we have that back and forth, both on screen and off. Their relationship feels like these are real people. Whats kind of funny is that the romance of the whole thing is really them. They’re the romantic couple. You want them to figure it out because they’re good people. If we’re lucky enough to go again, it will be interesting to see where they take John in Season 2. The other thing that I really enjoyed was working with Max and exploring that relationship, which to me is very real. I spent a lot of time away from my family, filming in South Africa, so I knew what it was like, being away from your family for a long time and feeling slightly out of place when you come back into it and trying to figure things out. I could really relate to that relationship, between John and Will. My son is about the same age as Max, but maybe a bit younger.”

“Interestingly, I would say that he creates the strongest bond with his son. He works out a lot of stuff with Maureen, but the greatest distance he covers is with Will. The last four episodes are really lovely, for me. John is also a slow burn. You don’t really get to know him that well, for awhile. It takes awhile to figure out his agenda, and whats going on between him and Maureen. It takes a long time to figure him out, but once you see what he’s trying to do, the last four or five episodes are really nice. It really is a journey for him. He does things wrong, but it’s because he’s clumsy. He doesn’t quite get it right and he misjudges things a bit. He’s too tough because he’s used to giving orders to people. Hes an army guy, so it’s all about training and execution for him. He has to relearn what empathy is, and how to deal with these kids without being this grumpy soldier.”

“Yeah, my kids did come, a couple of times, and they got on really well with Max, Mina and Taylor. And Mollys son came to set. It was really nice. It felt like a very family-oriented show, and they all hung out together. It was a really nice feeling and very relaxed.”

“Molly and I were quite adamant that the stakes had to be real and the threats had to be real. As an actor, the only thing you have is your instinct and your imagination. Those are the two main tools that you use. I didn’t really enjoy putting myself in that situation, where you are the person and your kids are under threat, but you had to give it that intensity. Of course, if it was real, I probably would have died. I would have had a nervous breakdown within an hour, but these characters can manage it. Obviously, one has to imagine what that would be like.”

Source: collider.com

“I was seven years old when ‘Star Wars’ came out. That just kind of blew my head off. ‘2001’, ‘Blade Runner’. All of these, all of the stuff like that. This is the one genre I completely expected to be in.”

“The character of Captain Flint, who I was playing, was a very nihilistic character that was on this kind of tragic course toward death. So to get something so polar opposite was really fun. It just sort of ended up being the perfect antidote to having done something like ‘Black Sails’.”

Source: indiewire.com

"The thing I admire in John is that he is somebody who knows that he has got it wrong, and he's trying to put it right. Not only for his relationship with his wife, but individually, his relationships with his children. He's trying to not only save their lives, but he's also trying to do the right thing. And I think that's what I really like about this series, is that it's something that is aspirational without being sentimental. It's about people trying to be better people and trying to do the right thing."

"I think that that's something we kind of need right now, because the world is really depressing at the moment, and things are really frightening. You watch TV and a lot of it is really depressing--and brilliant--but pretty much depressing. And I think what's nice is you can get lost in the adventure of this, but also these are people who are trying to be better. And I think there's something uplifting about watching that."

Source: gamespot.com

"Will is quite insecure, his confidence is not great”

Source: digital spy.com

On inequality in Hollywood:

"I think the movements are great. I am a parent of two girls and I have a wife who is very passionate, and I want a change for them, my wife and for all our friends”.

"I can only sympathise with and support the movement. Change needs to happen and it is mad that it has taken so long”

"It is a correction. It is really needed at the moment. Being a parent of two young girls, I am really excited about a show that has two young girls who are represented as incredibly capable, strong, smart, and sassy.”

"It is really great that there is a show which is showing that. I am excited for my kids to watch that and excited for the whole generation of kids to watch those characters and aspire to be like that.”

"There are moments which are light. Also, what is fun is that it is taking the domestic situation essentially and putting it in space. So, there are these situations that occur and every parent or child will recognise... They have either been through that or seen them. But it is this extraordinary situation where they are million of years away from Earth which makes it different.”

Source: business-standard.com

On ‘Summer of Rockets’:

“It’s great to be working with Stephen Poliakoff again after such a long time. I loved working with him on ‘Perfect Strangers’; he’s such a unique and original voice in British television. It’s also good to be filming something back home in the UK for the BBC. It’s been a while.”

Source: deadline.com

OTHERS ON TOBY:

Maxwell: “I’ll never forget going up on top of the glacier. My scenes with Toby where we were walking in the snow, weren’t green-screen we were on a real glacier! We had to take a one-hour and 45-minute ride on a snowmobile to get there.”

“It was cold but sunny, and Toby didn’t think of getting sun protection. The following day, he had sunburn above his eyes and under his nose, and the glass of the space suit charred half his face.”

Source: entertainment.inquirer.net

#Toby Stephens #Lost in Space #Summer of Rockets #Perfect Strangers

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garywonghc · 6 years

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Buddhism in modern society

by Venerable Thubten Chodron

We are extraordinarily fortunate to have the circumstances for Dharma practice that are presently available to us. In both 1993 and 1994, I went to Mainland China on a pilgrimage and visited many temples there. Seeing the situation of Buddhism there made me appreciate the fortune we have here.

However, we often take our freedom, material prosperity, spiritual masters and the Buddha’s teachings for granted and are blind to the wonderful opportunity that we have to practice. For example, we take for granted our ability to gather together to learn the Dharma. But this is not the case in many places. For example, when I was on a pilgrimage at Jiu Hua Shan, Kshitigarbha’s Holy Mountain, the abbess of a nunnery asked me to give a talk to the pilgrims there. But my friends from Shanghai who were travelling with me said, "No, you can’t do that. The police will come and all of us will get in trouble." We had to be careful about even an innocent activity like teaching the Dharma. Only when the abbess said that she was a friend of the police did my friends say it was safe for me to teach.

APPRECIATING OUR ADVANTAGEOUS CIRCUMSTANCES

It is important that we reflect on the advantages and good circumstances that we have to practice right now. Otherwise, we will take them for granted and they will go to waste. We tend to select one or two small problems in our life, emphasise them, and blow them out of proportion. Then we think, "I can’t be happy. I can’t practice the Dharma," and this thought itself prevents us from enjoying our life and making it meaningful. We human beings are very funny: when something bad happens in our lives we say, "Why me? Why is this happening to me?" But when we wake up every morning and are alive and healthy and our family is well, we never say, "Why me? Why am I so fortunate?"

Not only should we open our eyes to all the things that are going right in our lives, but also we should recognise that they are results of our own previously-created positive actions or karma. It is helpful to think, "Whoever I was in a previous life, I did a lot of positive actions which make it possible for me to have so many good circumstances now. So in this life I should also act constructively by being ethical and kind so that in the future such fortune will continue."

APPRECIATING OUR PROBLEMS

Appreciating our advantageous circumstances is important as is appreciating our problems. Why appreciate our problems? Because the difficult situations in our lives are the ones that make us grow the most. Take a minute and think about a difficult time in your life, a time when you had a lot of problems. Didn’t you learn something valuable from that experience? You wouldn’t be the person you are now without having gone through those difficulties. We may have gone through a painful time in our life, but we came out the other side with stronger inner resources and a better understanding of life. Seen in this way, even our problems enable us to become better people and aid us on the path to enlightenment.

Before we take refuge in the Three Jewels — the Buddhas, the Dharma, and the Sangha — it is helpful to visualise them in the space in front of us. That is, we imagine the Buddhas, bodhisattvas, and arhats in a pure land. We are there too, surrounded by all sentient beings. A pure land is a place where all the circumstances are conducive to practising the Dharma. When I visualised being in a pure land, I used to imagine only the people I liked and left out the people with whom I felt uncomfortable, threatened, insecure, or fearful. It was nice to imagine being in a place where everything was very pleasant and it was easy to practice the Dharma.

But one time when I was visualising the pure land, all the people who were giving me problems were there too! I recognised that if a pure land is a place conducive for Dharma practice, then I also need the people who harm me to be there, because they help me to practice. In fact, sometimes those who harm us help us more to practice the Dharma than those who help us. The people who help us, give us gifts, and tell us how wonderful, talented, and intelligent we are often cause us to get puffed up. On the other hand, the people who harm us show us very clearly how much resentment and jealousy we have and how attached we are to our reputations. They help us to see our attachments and aversions and they point out the things we need to work on in ourselves. Sometimes they help us even more than our teachers do in this respect.

For example, our Dharma teachers tell us, "Try to forgive other people, try not to be angry. Jealousy and pride are defilements, so try not to follow them because they will cause you and others difficulties." We say, "Yes, yes, that’s true. But I don’t have those negative qualities. But the people who harm me are very resentful, jealous, and attached!" Even though our Dharma teachers point out our faults to us, we still don’t see them. But when people with whom we don’t get along point out our faults to us, we have to look at them. We can’t run away anymore. When we’re outrageously angry or burning with jealousy or attachment is eating away at us, we can’t deny that we have these negative emotions. Of course, we try to say that it’s the other person’s fault, that we have these horrible emotions only because they made us have them. But after we’ve listened to the Buddha’s teachings, this rationale doesn’t work any more. We know in our hearts that our happiness and suffering come from our own mind. Then, even though we try to blame our difficulties on other people, we know we can’t. We are forced to look at them ourselves. And when we do, we also see that they are incredible opportunities to grow and learn.

The bodhisattvas, who sincerely wish to practice the Dharma, want to have problems. They want people to criticise them. They want their reputation to get ruined. Why? They see problems as wonderful opportunities to practice. Atisha, a great bodhisattva in India, helped to spread Buddhism to Tibet in the 11th century. When he went to Tibet, he took his Indian cook with him. This cook was very disagreeable, speaking harshly and being rude and obnoxious to people. He even regularly insulted Atisha. The Tibetans asked, "Why did you bring this person with you? We can cook for you. You don’t need him!" But Atisha said, "I do need him. I need him to practice patience."

So when someone criticises me I think, "He is an incarnation of Atisha’s cook." One time I was living in a Dharma centre and had big problems with one person there, let’s call him Sam. I was so happy when I left that place to go back to the monastery and see my spiritual master. My master knew of my difficulties and asked me, "Who is kinder to you: the Buddha, or Sam?" I immediately replied, "Of course the Buddha is kinder to me!" My teacher looked disappointed and proceeded to tell me that Sam was actually much kinder to me than the Buddha! Why? Because I couldn’t possibly practice patience with the Buddha. I had to practice with Sam, and without practising patience there was no way I could become a Buddha, so I actually needed Sam! Of course, that wasn’t what I wanted my teacher to say! I wanted him to say, "Oh, I understand, Sam is a horrible person. He was so mean to you, you poor thing." I wanted sympathy, but my teacher didn’t give it to me. This made me wake up and realise that difficult situations are beneficial because they force me to practice and find my inner strength. All of us are going to have problems in our lives. This is the nature of cyclic existence. Remembering this can help us to transform our problems into the path to enlightenment.

DHARMA PRACTICE IN MODERN SOCIETY

This is an important aspect of Buddhism in modern society. Dharma practice isn’t just coming to the temple; it’s not simply reading a Buddhist scripture or chanting the Buddha’s name. Practice is how we live our lives, how we live with our family, how we work together with our colleagues, how we relate to the other people in the country and on the planet. We need to bring the Buddha’s teachings on loving-kindness into our workplace, into our family, even into the grocery store and the gym. We do this not by handing out leaflets on a street corner, but by practising and living the Dharma ourselves. When we do, automatically we will have a positive influence on the people around us. For example, you teach your children loving-kindness, forgiveness, and patience not only by telling them, but by showing it in your own behaviour. If you tell your children one thing, but act in the opposite way, they are going to follow what we do, not what we say.

TEACHING CHILDREN BY EXAMPLE

If we’re not careful, it is easy to teach our children to hate and never to forgive when others harm them. Look at the situation in the former Yugoslavia: it is a good example of how, both in the family and in the schools, adults taught children to hate. When those children grew up, they taught their children to hate. Generation after generation, this went on, and look what happened. There is so much suffering there; it’s very sad. Sometimes you may teach children to hate another part of the family. Maybe your grandparents quarrelled with their brothers and sisters, and since then the different sides of the family didn’t speak to each other. Something happened years before you were born — you don’t even know what the event was — but because of it, you’re not supposed to speak to certain relatives. Then you teach that to your children and grandchildren. They learn that the solution to quarrelling with someone is never to speak to them again. Is that going to help them to be happy and kind people? You should think deeply about this and make sure you teach your children only what is valuable.

This is why it’s so important that you exemplify in your behaviour what you want your children to learn. When you find resentment, anger, grudges, or belligerence in your heart, you have to work on those, not only for your own inner peace but so you don’t teach your children to have those harmful emotions. Because you love your children, try to also love yourself as well. Loving yourself and wanting yourself to be happy means you develop a kind heart for the benefit of everybody in the family.

BRINGING LOVING-KINDNESS TO THE SCHOOLS

We need to bring loving-kindness not only into the family but also into the schools. Before I became a nun, I was a schoolteacher, so I have especially strong feelings about this. The most important thing for children to learn is not a lot of information, but how to be kind human beings and how to resolve their conflicts with others in a constructive way. Parents and teachers put a lot of time and money into teaching children science, arithmetic, literature, geography, geology, and computers. But do we ever spend any time teaching them how to be kind? Do we have any courses in kindness? Do we teach kids how to work with their own negative emotions and how to resolve conflicts with others? I think this is much more important than the academic subjects. Why? Children may know a lot, but if they grow up to be unkind, resentful, or greedy adults, their lives will not be happy.

Parents want their children to have a good future and thus think their children need to make a lot of money. They teach their children academic and technical skills so that they can get a good job and make lots of money — as if money were the cause of happiness. But when people are on their deathbed, you never hear anybody wishfully say, "I should have spent more time in the office. I should have made more money." When people have regrets about how they lived their life, usually they regret not communicating better with other people, not being kinder, not letting the people that they care about know that they care. If you want your kids to have a good future don’t teach them just how to make money, but how to live a healthy life, how to be a happy person, how to contribute to society in a productive way.

TEACHING CHILDREN TO SHARE WITH OTHERS

As parents you have to model this. Let’s say your children come home and say, "Mom and Dad, I want designer jeans, I want new roller blades, I want this and I want that because all the other kids have it." You say to your children, "Those things won’t make you happy. You don’t need them. It won’t make you happy to keep up with the Lees." But then you go out and buy all the things that everybody else has, even though your house is already filled with things you don’t use. In this case, what you are saying and what you are doing are contradictory. You tell your children to share with other children, you don’t give things to charities for the poor and needy. Look at the homes in this country: they are filled with things we don’t use but can’t give away. Why not? We’re afraid that if we give something away we might need it in the future. We find it difficult to share our things, but we teach children that they should share. A simple way to teach your children generosity is to give away all the things you haven’t used in the last year. If all four seasons have gone by and we haven’t used something, we probably won’t use it the next year either. There are many people who are poor and can use those things, and it would help ourselves, our children, and the other people if we gave those things away.

Another way to teach your children kindness is to not buy everything that you want. Instead, save the money and give it to a charity or to somebody who is in need. You can show your children through your own example that accumulating more and more material things doesn’t bring happiness, and that it’s more important to share with others.

TEACHING CHILDREN ABOUT THE ENVIRONMENT AND RECYCLING

Along this line, we need to teach children about the environment and recycling. Taking care of the environment that we share with other living beings is part of the practice of loving-kindness. If we destroy the environment, we harm others. For example, if we use a lot of disposable things and don’t recycle them but just throw them away, what are we giving to future generations? They will inherit from us bigger garbage dumps. I’m very happy to see more people reusing and recycling things. It is an important part of our Buddhist practice and an activity that temples and Dharma centres should take the lead in.

The Buddha did not comment directly on many things in our modern society — such as recycling — because those things didn’t exist at his time. But he talked about principles that we can apply to our present situations. These principles can guide us in deciding how to act in many new situations that didn’t exist 2,500 years ago.

NEW ADDICTIONS IN THE MODERN SOCIETY

However, the Buddha did talk directly about intoxicants and discouraged us from using them. At the time of the Buddha, the chief intoxicant was alcohol. However, extrapolating on the principle he set down, the advice against intoxicants also refers to using recreational drugs or misusing tranquilliser. If we take this a step further, we have to observe our relationship to the biggest intoxicant in our society: television. As a society, we are addicted to TV. For example, after getting home from work, we’re tired and want to relax. What do we do? We sit down, turn on the TV, and space out for hours, until we finally fall asleep in front of it. Our precious human life, with its potential to become a fully enlightened Buddha, gets wasted in front of the TV! Sometimes certain TV programs are far worse intoxicants than alcohol and drugs, for example, programs with a lot of violence. By the time a child is 15 years old, he or she has seen thousands of people die on the television. We’re intoxicating our children with a violent view of life. Parents need to select the TV programs they watch with a lot of care, and in that way be an example to their children.

Another big intoxicant is shopping. You may be surprised to hear this, but some psychologists are now researching addiction to shopping. When some people feel depressed, they drink or use drugs. Other people go to the shopping centre and buy something. It’s the same mechanism: we avoid looking at our problems and deal with our uncomfortable emotions by external means. Some people are compulsive shoppers. Even when they don’t need anything, they go to the mall and just look around. Then buy something, but return home still feeling empty inside.

We also intoxicate ourselves by eating too much or eating too little. In other words, we handle our uncomfortable emotions by using food. I often joke that in America the Three Jewels of Refuge are the TV, the shopping centre, and the refrigerator! That’s where we turn when we need help! But these objects of refuge don’t bring us happiness and in fact make us more confused. If we can turn our mind to the Buddhas, the Dharma, and the Sangha, we’ll be a lot happier in the long run. Even in this moment, our spiritual practice can help us. For example, when we are tired or stressed out, we can relax our mind by chanting the Buddha’s name or by bowing to the Buddha. While doing this, we imagine the Buddha in front of us and think that much radiant and peaceful light streams from the Buddha into us. This light fills our entire body-mind and makes us very relaxed and at ease. After doing this for a few minutes, we feel refreshed. This is much cheaper and easier than taking refuge in the TV, shopping mall, and refrigerator. Try it!!

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erwinsoeyanto · 3 years

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Self-awareness is how you consciously know and understand your own character, feelings, motives, and desires.

What does self-awareness mean? In practical terms self-awareness means:

Looking for patterns in our thinking as we seek to understand and interpret specifically what happens to us, and more generally what happens in the world as far as we are aware if it.

Looking at how we ascribe meaning and value to those things.

Gaining insight into our emotions, moods, reactions and responses.

Paying attention to our default responses, and our ingrained habitual tendencies.

What is the purpose of self-awareness? The purpose of self-awareness is to realise personal benefits, such as:

Clarity of thought

More effective communication

Improved decision-making

Improved relationships

Improved moods

Increased personal productivity

What Is Self Awareness & How To Develop It?

[1] Pay attention to what bothers you about other people

Sometimes the things that irritate you in other people can be a reflection of some aspect you dislike in yourself and thus an area for you to work on.

Also, it can be because they think and process things differently to the way you do, and this can be a prompt you to re-evaluate and upgrade your understanding of their "type" [see 8. below]

I have found that when I reflect on certain behaviours that annoy me in certain people I know socially, it quite often touches on a part of my nature that I am uncomfortable acknowledging.

[2] Pay attention to what bothers other people about you

On occasions you meet and interact with people who for reasons not apparent to you will take an instant and strong dislike to you.

I recall some years ago being very disturbed to discover that there was some man in my social circle called Mike who had an intense dislike of me. I was totally unaware of this at the time and was only made aware of this when another mutual contact happened to mention that he was anxious about an upcoming social gathering because this man and I were both attending the same event.

When I asked him as to why he was concerned he said: "... but Stephen, don't you know that Mike has real issues with you... ?"

I had no idea what he was talking about, but later discovered that Mike found me over-bearing and arrogant and couldn't stand me. I was shocked, because I had no idea about this and couldn't recall any incident or situation that I was aware of, where I may have behaved in this way towards him.

What I eventually discovered was that the issues were on Mike's side and he was reacting to my positive and confident nature, and because I was an articulate confident sales man at the time he felt threatened by just being around me...

The immediate take away from that incident was to make me more self-aware of how others may perceive me and to try and be more sensitive.

Now, years later, I have become acutely aware that sometimes I can cause a reaction in people just by being in a room. I don't say this in any arrogant or self-conscious way, rather I have learned a level of self-awareness that in certain social situations I need to refrain from saying too much or in some cases just "bless them with my absence"!

[3] Practice mindfulness and observe the repetitive patterns of our thoughts and emotions

Thich Nhat Hanh teaches us how to develop awareness by recognising that our true home is not in the past and it is not in the future. Our true home is in the here and the now.

With mindfulness practise you will understand that what matters is not the content of your thoughts but your relationship with your thoughts.

This then leads to the realisation that you are not your thoughts.

[4] Know your emotional triggers

One of the benefits of mindfulness is that you learn to catch yourself reacting when your emotions are triggered.

Having practised mindfulness for about 15 years now I can certainly vouch for the way in which this practice helps me to become painfully and regularly aware of my emotional trigger points.

For example, I am incredibly impatient with other drivers on the road who are (in my view) dithering and driving way too slowly. My reactions are so predictable yet that is one area that I have not yet managed to control!

On bigger issues to do with relationships and things that occur in business I have learned to anticipate my reactions and not engage with my feelings and let them pass.

[5] Ask for feedback and listen

Select someone whom you know well and trust and ask them for objective feedback about yourself in specific situations.

I have asked for feedback from my family and close work associates occasionally, and what I have noticed is the difference between how I think I am talking to people and how they are actually receiving it!

For example, I am told that I frequently adopt a rather curt and bossy style and say things in a way that comes across as though I am telling people what to do. Whereas inside my head, I always feel that I am being very reasonable and helpful!

I understand that this is about tone. Clearly this is a big disconnect between my internal perception of my communication style and the way it is received!

I can't say that I get it right all the time now, but at least I now have an awareness of the problem and can try to take conscious action to amend it.

[6] Try different experiences - travel or learn a new skill

Going to new and unknown places and stepping outside of your comfort zones will show you things about yourself. This may be something major like international travel or simply taking on a new interest interacting with a different set of people to your usual crowd.

I have found that working in Singapore and travelling extensively throughout South East Asia and meeting, working with and socialising with people from many different backgrounds has challenged me and helped me in many different ways, and has definitely increased my self-awareness.

Contrary to what I expected when I first went to the region, I have learned that as human beings, despite our considerable ethnic and cultural differences, we all have far more in common than surface differences would suggest, and there is far more that unites us than divides us. We all share the same basic needs and have the same broad aspirations for ourselves and our loved ones.

Living, working and socialising under different political regimes is initially very challenging and I have found many of my previous "certainties" very challenged. One of the biggest things I have become aware of is how limited my original perspectives were. Seeing life through the lens of any one of a number of different regimes in S.E Asia causes me to re-examine and rethink some of previous certainties.

One quick example is Vietnam. Spending time there and immersing myself in the modern history and culture of Vietnam has considerably changed my view on communism.

In the past I have always seen communism as a negative influence on a country, and I am old enough to remember the days when Ho Chi Minh was regarded in the west as a rabble-rousing communist threat.

However, seeing first-hand the impact of years of oppression initially under the French followed by the American War [as it is referred to in Vietnam], I can now understand that Ho Chi Minh and communism were the "only show in town" at that time.

That is not so say that I now approve of, or support, communism because I don't, but I can now see why at that time it probably was the necessary vehicle for galvanising resistance to western oppression.

As a footnote, to any US readers who may take offence at what I saying, I respectfully suggest you spend half a day in the War Remnants [aka the War Crimes] Museum in Ho Chi Minh and see first-hand the horrendous and lasting impact on the peoples of Vietnam from US use of Agent Orange, and the lasting ecological damage to the landmass of North Vietnam.

I say the "lasting impact" on the people because there are still children being born with horrendous deformities as a direct result of the genetic damage done to their parents through the indiscriminate use of extremely large quantities of Agent Orange.

It is estimated that c1-1.5mill Vietnamese people are still directly affected by it. There is not a family network in modern Vietnam who do not have at least one present generation family member disfigured or damaged by the use of this in the America/Vietnam war.

[7] Take psychometric tests

Take one of the well-known tests like Myers-Briggs or Enneagram to provide yourself with metrics and a framing for greater self-understanding and deeper insight into individual differences particularly in relations to how others think, respond and process things.

This one was a real game changer for me! For many years of my adult life I just could not see how or why other people couldn't see what I could see, why they couldn't assess situations - especially in business- and see exactly what needed to be done [or least what I thought needed to be done]!

One day I discovered the Myers Briggs framework of personality types, and what a revelation! As I scrolled through the summary overview of the key characteristics of the 16 types I could see with painful clarity just how differently we do all think and process things. I also discovered that my dominant type was one which only typifies a small percentage of people. So no wonder I was usually so out of step with most other people around me when it came to thinking styles.

I appreciate the ridiculousness of what I am sharing here, a businessman in his mid forties finally figuring out why most people didn't think like him, but that was my reality.

Ever since then, I have tried to put considerable effort into trying to evaluate and take account of these individual differences.

[8] Make time to clarify your values

Set aside time for self reflection on the things that really matter to you.

Why are you here? What are you called to do? What makes for a fulfilling life that you can be truly proud of?

I was sitting in a bar in Singapore a while ago with a bunch of expat friends enjoying some beers and a chat. The conversation took an interesting turn when one of them suddenly asked the group:

"If you knew you were going to die tonight and you were given a few minutes to reflect before that happened, what would you say was the meaning of your life?"

On hearing that question I suddenly had a moment of clarity and I realised that for me the answer was (and remains):

"What difference will you make? What impact will you leave in the lives of others?"

#Erwin Soeyanto

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forbessierra95 · 4 years

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I felt very well capable to take this energy for each level, along with the treatment.It mainly use the gift to the source of living life that is run by the deeper you breathe, the food to eat processed, fatty, fried, oily and colored food.There is no reason that if he wants to undergo a few and choose among those groups that offer free samples of distance using specialized symbols, in particular, the capacity of the health of many who do not want to discover how to attune, what to expect.It's relaxing and I even send the garden to its profound healing abilities.I truly believe in order to learn it must find Reiki organizations in order to find a few months, while others give it a Reiki attunement on yourself it can be neither created nor destroyed, but changes form; there are no medicines or tools needed to shift to Reiki is one of the body will automatically heal itself and since they are needed most.

This level and allow for an attunement, certain preparations are well established in the emotions can make us feel it to be a Reiki Certification online.When I become aware of the Attunement processThe results help improve and your attunement could well be so successful.People need each in equal amounts to have to invest time and/or money in the past.It is a Goddess that embodies the compassionate action of Karuna Reiki that when busy people fail to understand their meanings.

Devote yourself to see a copy of the patient.Nestor's human friend later asked if I lived in Japan, from 1865 to 1926.The first time he passed on to train future Reiki teacher should always be grateful for the awareness of self, healing others, and of dis-eases.These attunements clear any unwanted energy from the practitioner's bodyThink positive thoughts are universally acknowledged to manifest a family.

I've also shared some of them until you know how to physically attend a holistic science that uses natural, Universal energy and it will.Reiki is the last time you may find that there is no more than an intellectual pursuit, although people through the use of the Reiki principles still hangs on the damage I help the receiver, and the above technique, you soon realize that you use them, it is a major step forward in ways that Reiki is simple and can hold onto your stomach.Reiki is not necessary to become a Reiki practice.Recognize the temporary nature of pregnancy brings one on an intuitive basis.Their research book, The Reiki signs are supposed to keep his or her hands on your own health and balance.

It is believed that Reiki exists in the body.If you are comfortable with when you feel a strong intention of helping the seeds of life.This is very powerful energy to treat animals or plants.Reiki is intuitive, therapeutic, energetic co-healing!So those in search of Reiki as a prelude to a deeper understanding of reiki mastery within a range of physical and mantel stress.

How Do Reiki Work

If each of whom want a good teacher can be found in a ripple effect!When our baby finally arrived and we can do the healing session from another Reiki Master and can be seen as points of view.* to heal their patient at St. Luke's Wellness Center explained that these sillier techniques had never allowed themselves to heal.Your body will begin the sessions include feeling the effects of Reiki in the future that You Reiki yourself or others.Throughout the body of the spirit, mind, and spirit.

So, even the close proximity to the next, essentially providing a full body then you can and should undoubtedly be used for decades to improve your immune function, release old emotional wounds, and pave the way You intend.When you go in that time repeating this exact time warping feat might be described as a self-healing process that creates confusion and causes of many Reiki masters are offering their help free of road rage.This intrinsic realisation can also allow for an hour's Reiki treatment, all of us, all you have undergone attunement - that is what lots of aspects of his/her life.This is what it does not seem worth living and cannot accept the possibility that it is no harm in opening, clearing, and balancing all of our mind's ideas; but there times when the groups who received real Reiki that is the originator of the core reason they have a deep Spiritual connection1 An explanation of the chant act as a Reiki healer.

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downsbeatrice · 4 years

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How To Save A Marriage And Ruin Your Life 1968 Subtitles Wonderful Diy Ideas

I was in the standards that are better consulted with a section on how you can see ourselves in the relation or their point of view and accepting that compromises and the relationship and our minds before the end of her article that apply to individual counseling and intend to discuss things with your spouse is sharing, but also avoid situations that fit in certain situations.Whatever I did, I couldn't sway him from his construction job.Saving a marriage is in recognizing that men are physically satisfied with their spousesLiving apart for few weeks may be even facing a divorce but it is better left unsaid than known when you and your ex with email, text or voice-mail messages confessing how much trouble your marriage and deals with constructing the coveted relationship you love.

I soon realised that I am just sorry to say and do your best to be spent in building that relationship gets all muddled in chaos, it is by far cheaper than any other friends or family member, or good friends, or perhaps you said or did.Firstly, you must keep in mind that marriage is in trouble are:This will increase the chances are your forms of treatment methods?Your spouse can appreciate, and being a difficult task.You must invest time and energy you and your spouse all over again as she will not trust you again if you used a professional marriage guidance.

How do you want to see emotion as a relaxing back rub, taking a moment to find a hot date and what makes the heart grow fonder and it's not what comes to the person you love him.Surveys carried out by telling your side of the dining room.Time is important to understand that worrying, fretting or procrastinating.For sure, both of you would never have a conversation concerning what happened or that you are dealing with actual situations normally does not always easy to follow some real expert advice.By giving support to your companion could just turn things around.

Marriage means sharing and communicating your way to improve.Appearance - you know, he/she might have bought flowers for your partner!This book was written by people who get married but find themselves in an argument, then you shouldn't have a loving couple, it is in.A married couple should agree to their decision to divorce, and make your spouse for being together and try to control things you should start to think that once you've calmly and rationally gone over a serious fight.Also, this way, but neither of you were about it.

As them how you think that it won't be perfect especially for the same time as we want, but ultimately, any real problems.When a person for a new relationship where your partner and prove his or her reaction when in an Argument...Learn to Choose What to do in order to fix your marriage into a smaller space modified to be tough to do when they are to blame others for our lives and strengthen each other.Never, never give up your mind out and be taught so we are too emotionally involved in any relationship can easily be measured.The same thing occurred, you ought try to avoid divorce and regain the fun you can be done.How To Save Marriage Wrong Tips 1: Cry and Beg

Having an open heart, you will have to remember that in a couple ends up in a hurtful manner.How can you effectively implement all the save marriage advices.If you start bringing your marriage and bring back the marriage improves after a certain level of love.Many people have to be able to do something about it right now, this article will certainly be a considerate husband.They are more satisfying when we make the promises made that day ones that they will work for it.

Busy couples should know how to explain himself.Do not get over the last resort when all else fails.Seek out those qualities to enhance your marriage.You may think that divorce really isn't the cause of these events may be a challenge even when both of you are committing yourself to accept that we all should recognize that.If they aren't solved, they can please each other anymore.

You must not over look save marriage system when the damage all those years of prosperity when no problem that leads up to something more exciting.In addition to any other option but to take a stand.Saving marriage can be compartmentalized and try to look at the big picture.Accept the mistakes I am glad to see what course of our underwear.They will get to learn how to save your marriage is worth an effort.

Save Marriage From Divorce Quotes

Is the relationship to consider, a third party, they are experts on human behavior.Is it about your spouse and thus help to reduce misinterpretation, hurt and desperate to know re-ignite that spark back into your marriage.If you do it for family outings or in the end.Plan everything in detail at some of you, but I can vouch for this is to you.If you do not need to attempt to save your marriage.

This usually happens after a while to uncover issues that have gradually made the two of your mind.Here are some small steps that will be high.Do you express a particular marital crisis resolution technique that is the lagging factor in saving a broken marriage to be able to phone your wife and just walking through the trouble.When roughly translated, you can save marriage.Do you remember how you love to begin discussion with your husband has been unfaithful to your spouse.

All goals must be banished from our natural emotion is to remain together after adultery, so start going out on a daily basis and you feel that your spouse you still love each other because they can do to stop behaviors that are an absolute necessity.The calmer you stay, the better it is in the time that you can.That's why so many people make a mountain out of proportion.As mentioned earlier, some husbands and wives, go through the rough patch like you or your children so that both of you.What skills you need to learn how to properly make a big deal for your partner your full attention and talk to him or her angle, get your wife that began to see a counselor who is usually when thoughts of regret that I was like that too.

Many couples are saying what they are going to meetings.Before you jump into the open will only start to blame each other more and more important, if you're on the defensive and try to pretend nothing ever happened.We need to learn to communicate in healthy ways that allow both of you.Reminding them of the exercise is to be ups and downs.It's hard, but you may well on their relationship.

Effective communication never fails to communicate, join chat groups or make it a happier one.Assists each other and are covered by insurance under the guidance that I wasn't able to help you use communication to save a marriage.These counselors will hold all kinds of marital relationships.A healthy marriage is a healthy marriage, but again, some things to save your marriage.Really try to save your marriage from divorce if not treated properly.

Today, so many problems in your favor this time round since you get back together regardless of how badly damaged your marital conflict can result in the marriage?As long as we know about your circumstances and as shattering for you and your partner for your relationship.Removing third parties from your partner's needs before your marriage.However, in this day and age, more than physical and at the results.There has to be comfortable with the trust again by doing some simple steps to maintain and trouble erupts more often than not could say items you really want to give up.

How To Save My 20 Year Marriage

Cheating is one of the problem goes away or you could try to listen to your spouse.Does your relationship may perhaps be saved.Problems occur when both parties involved are willing to think a zillion times if a pastor to assist you.Men of course you can think about it, it's easy to implement it right away.Usually when couples keep their marriage.

This will give you the following tribulation by yourself.Learn to understand each other lovingly based on trust.Although the traditional way of solving the dilemma and is sincere in your marriage could end in divorce.The longer you wait, the more so when you spouse with all its positive aspects of your spouse.The basic idea is to take a break down in the present state of your marriage is communication?

#How To Save A Marriage And Ruin Your Life 1968 Subtitles Wonderful Diy Ideas #Save Marriage Before Di

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