#but I feel calmer about losing them if I’m already gone and that might be awful and selfish but I just I can’t handle it I can barely handle | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

smutsonian · 3 years

Text

we belong together

lee bodecker x female reader

summary: trying to break things off with lee because you didn’t want to be his toy anymore is harder than it seems

warnings: dark!lee bodecker, noncon, dubcon, smut, car shenanigans, stockholm syndrome-ish, obsession, possessiveness, angst, not proofread

word count: 4.3k

a/n: last part is rushed so ending probs suckkyyy

masterlist

“Yes, God! Yes!” Lee moaned in pleasure as his hands held your face down against his crotch, forcing you to gag on his huge cock. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he mumbles as he ruts his hips towards your face, ignoring the gagging noises you’re making as he chases his release.

He throws his head back, ignoring the way you tried to push yourself up from his crotch and forcing your face harder down his cock while he ruts a few more times against your throat before growling in pleasure.

“Jesus, Y/N,” he continues to hold your face down, forcing you to swallow every single drop of his cum, even chuckling at the gurgling noises coming from you. After a few twitches of his dick in your mouth, he pulls on your hair until you’re face to face with him before attacking your lips with his own, tongue invading the insides of your mouth so he can taste himself in your mouth.

He moans against your lips before pulling away and admiring the look on your face. A few drops of his cum on the corner of your mouth, eyes red and teary from his cock, and hair a mess from how he held and tugged on it too much. “So goddamn beautiful…” He caresses your face with a smile on his face.

“Thanks,” you let out a sigh before pulling your face away from his hold, turning away from him to face the car window. Lee’s face falls at your actions and before he could ask what’s wrong, you spoke up again. “Can you please take me home? Right now.” Your voice held no emotion although it’s clear that you didn’t want to talk about anything at all so Lee just sighed before starting the car and driving towards your home.

“Alright, sweetie. We’re here.” Lee smiles before moving towards you to press a kiss on your lips which you avoided so his kiss landed on your cheek instead. Lee lets out a grumble before frowning at you. “Is anything wrong? Why are you so pissy?” His face scrunched up in annoyance before it turned into an angry one when you ignored him, trying to open the locked door.

“You answer me when I ask you a question, girl.” Lee grabs your face with one hand before forcing you to look at him. “Nothing’s wrong, Lee,” you manage to stutter through his harsh hold on your cheeks.

“Bullshit!” He bellows before his hold on you tightened.

“Let go of me, Lee…” You try to pry his hand away but it was no use. He’s a strong man.

“Not until you tell me what your problem is, sweetie,” he finally lightens his hold on your cheeks as his voice starts to get calmer.

“You know you can tell me anything right? I’m here for you,” he moves his hand from your cheeks to the side of your face to caress it with what you can see as faux care.

You huff at him which caused him to frown slightly.

“Are you?” You ask lightly, afraid of awakening the dark side of him again.

“Are you really going to be there for me?” Your question made Lee huff in disbelief as if you’re the one speaking nonsense.

You cut him off before he could even reply. “Because from what I see, you’re only with me when you need to get your dick wet.” You spat, jaw clenching in anger as you tried to stop yourself from bursting into anger or in tears. It hurts to develop feelings for a man who only sees you and wants you for your body.

“Hey, heyy… Where the hell is this coming from?” He tries to pull you into a hug but you pushed on his chest which he frowned at but didn’t push anything seeing you so upset.

“What’s wrong, Y/N?” He deftly pries under your chin so he can stare at your glossy eyes.

“I’m done being your slut, Lee.” You hiss harshly, ripping his hand off your chin before slamming on the door. “Now open the fucking door!” You continue to bang on the door, waiting for him to finally unlock it.

“ENOUGH!”

You stilled as Lee’s booming voice fills the car. You’ve awakened what you didn’t want to see.

“You’re going to tell me what’s making you act like a bitch right now or so help me.” His eyes dark with anger and nose flaring and fury is enough to make you comply.

“I know you fuck a different whore every single night, Lee.” You deadpan, making him look at you with a confused look mixed with a surprised one.

“And I refuse to be one of your whores.” You let out a sigh, feeling all the tears falling when you can no longer hold them in. “I don’t want to be your fucking whore, Lee!” You cry out before banging on the door once more.

“What? Hey hey hey…” He pulls you away from the door, his hands securing your wrist together as he successfully pulls you closer to him.

“You are not a whore, okay? You are my girl. You’re mine and I’m yours.”

“You’re not mine. You let all those other women fuck you!” You shout at him but he only shushed you with his meaningless words.

“No. No. They don’t mean anything to me, sweetie. You’re the only woman for me. I do love you and I know how much you love me. Why else are you going to make such a fuss right now if not.” He lets out a chuckle before forcing you into a hug which you had no choice but to participate in.

You stayed in that position for a while before you’re finally able to pull away. You wipe the tears off your face before sniffling. “I don’t love you.” You whisper.

“That’s a lie.” Was his answer.

“No.” You stare at him.

“I don’t love you anymore.” You hold eye contact, hoping that he can’t see through your lies, and thankfully, it works because you see his resolve fading.

“Don’t lie to me, Lee. You don’t love me.”

“Of course I do!” He pleads.

“You don’t!” You cut him off. “You love how I take care of your cock!” He shakes his head at your words in disbelief.

“We’ve never even been on a fucking date.” You huff, realizing how stupid you are to fall in love with a man who’s been using you for his pleasure.

Lee scoffs before rolling his eyes. “So let’s go on a date then. If you want a date so fucking bad then let’s go on one. I’ll drop all those worthless whores for you as well. Just stay with me. I love you.”

“NO YOU DON’T, LEE! YOU DON’T!” You scream at him while hitting his chest which didn’t really do anything to him.

“You’re just saying that because you don’t want to lose your toy. We were never together and apparently never exclusive.” You huff before sighing out loud.

“You can’t leave me. You fucking love me.” He states, staring at nothing before looking back at you when you let out a huff. He suddenly grabs your face, pressing a wet kiss on your mouth and poking his tongue inside as his hands grabbed at your body.

His hand suddenly cups your core making you squeal and moan at the sensation. You feel him smirk through the kiss which made you push him with all your might until he was off of you. “Get off of me!”

“Your body can’t fuckin’ lie to me, sweetie. You’re still in love with me. You belong to me. We belong to each other!” He bites his bottom lip before palming his hard cock through his pants.

“Those whores mean nothing to me. You’re the only one who can drink my cum you know. Those whores don’t deserve it. Only you.”

“Wow! Thank you!” You fake a smile before rolling your eyes at him. “You are fucking disgusting.” You reach forward so you can unlock your side of the door before sitting back and looking at him.

“Don’t ever come fucking near me again. I deserve someone who actually appreciates me and loves me.” You reach inside your bag before pulling out a piece of paper and throwing it at his face.

“Sweetie—” Lee tries to reach for you but he was too late. His door slams shut and you’re already running away from him and into your house.

Lee looks down at the piece of paper which is a photo of the both of you. It was just after you finished sucking his cock like the few other times you did. Hair a mess, eyes red and mouth wet. He was beside you, holding you close as the both of you smiled happily at the camera. It was the first time you told him that you love him. The first of many but every time you said those words, Lee never returned them. He wasn’t one with words but he thought he was showing you how much he loves you but he was fucking wrong. Now you’re gone and he’s realizing that just now. He should’ve said those simple words. He would’ve said it if he knew you wanted to hear those words. He’d do anything for you.

In fact, he’ll do anything to have you back. Whether you like it or not. Besides, you need to be taught a lesson after acting like a fucking brat.

Lee could already feel his cock swelling at the thought of him putting you in place.

Oh, you’ll pay. And then he’ll show you just how much he fucking loves you.

You thought he was off your back but you’re wrong. You got so comfortable without him and that's a big mistake.

Lee always watched you. He continues to watch you as you go on about your day. He watches you as you continue to be his good girl. Your words about someone loving and appreciating you made him think that there’s someone else but as he continues to follow you around, he didn’t see anyone.

He would smile when he sees your head scanning the room when someone mentions his name at the restaurant or somewhere else. It made it clear that you still love him. Your lies will never work on him. You belong to him.

You belong to him and only him.

You were doing so well. But then he noticed how you no longer react when his name gets mentioned. Your lack of interest when people say something about the sheriff only infuriated him. And then he sees a guy with you and he realizes why.

It was at the local shop where you usually get your groceries and suddenly, this lanky kid gains the confidence to put a finger on you? On Lee’s girl of all. What, just because he wasn’t by your side for a whole week, that means people can try you out? No. Not in Lee’s watch. Not his girl. And for you to actually entertain the guy… Do you think that that lanky boy can appreciate you how Lee appreciates you? Do you think that that lanky boy can love you like Lee does?

No one can love you as much as Lee does. He failed to show you, yes, but he’s going to show you right now. With or without the lanky boy watching the both of you. You’re making yourself a whore for that lanky kid? You told Lee that you didn’t want to be a whore but here you are, making a whore of yourself for a fucking loser.

Oh, you have done it.

You forget who you are but Lee is more than willing to make you remember just who you fucking belong to.

Lee flounces towards you and the loser before slipping an arm to your waist and pulling you incredibly close to him. You immediately hated yourself for loving the familiar feeling of his body against yours. His warmth feels so familiar and you just want to drown in his body but you have to remind yourself how he’s no good for you.

“What’re you doing here, Lee?” You whisper before trying to pry him away from you but that only made him hold you tighter and closer, grunting in your ear. “Don’t make this worse for yourself, sweetie.” He growls into your ear before pressing a kiss on your forehead, making the cashier who’s been talking to you awkwardly cough before handing you the bag of groceries which Lee took with a smirk.

“Thanks for helping my girl out. I can take it from here, punk.” Lee scoffs at the cashier before pulling you towards his car.

“Lee, what the fu— ”

“Watch your fucking mouth. You’ve already got yourself in so much trouble, you fucking brat. Don’t fucking try me.” You saw his jaw clench while his nose flared in anger as he started the car before driving off.

You wanted to question him when he went past the turn to your house but the expression on his face left no room for confrontation. It would be like digging a deeper hole if you even try to talk to him right now. So you remained silent. Waiting for whatever Lee has in store for you.

It surprised you when you realized that Lee’s taking you to his house. It’s not like you’ve never seen it. You did... once. And that was when he got too drunk and demanded you to cuddle him until he fell asleep. That was probably the only time he acted that way. He’ll only show affection when he’s not his usual self, apparently. His house was a mess back then and you weren’t really surprised by it. He’s a busy man and he’s probably too busy to take care of his home. And it’s not like he actually cares about it.

“I’ll keep my mouth shut if I were you.” Lee stops the car abruptly before getting out and walking towards your side before opening the door for you and pulling you out by your arm. “You’ve already earned yourself ten from being a brat and another ten from that lanky cashier,” he continues to berate you whilst he pushes you into the surprisingly clean house. The numbers he was talking about remain a mystery and you didn’t get to dwell on it much because the situation of his home made you gawk in awe. When did this place become this tidy?

“Bend over the sofa,” he grabs your arm once more before pulling you towards the leather sofa and pushing on your upper back until you’re bent over the arm of the sofa.

“L-Lee?” Your voice trembles in fear as you start to realize what the numbers from before meant. “W-what?”

“The sooner we start, the sooner we’ll finish. I just gotta remind you of some things because you’re forgetting who you are, sweetie. You’re forgetting who you belong to.” He quickly pulls your bottoms down along with your underwear and you hear him making a sound.

“Ah, I fucking missed this pretty ass…” You feel his rough hands groping your ass hard which made you whimper and squirm under his hold but one hard slap made you stiffen up.

“Stay still and be a good girl now,” he whispers before pressing a kiss on your clothed shoulder.

*SLAP*

Another slap makes you whimper again. Lee tries to soothe you with gentle whispers but it didn’t really work because the more he smacks your flesh, the more painful it gets.

“Pl-Please! Stop it, Lee… It hurts…” You pleaded quietly as fat tears fall down your cheeks.

“You’re doing good, sweetie… Just a few more,” was the only response you got from Lee.

He resumes his punishment while you bury your face down the sofa, screaming into the furniture in pain and wailing as his hands alternately fall down your ass.

Continuous hard slaps fell on your ass before he finally stops, his rough hands now massaging your warm ass.

“Such a good girl for me,” he cooed before bending over and covering your body with his. He kisses the side of your face while he cuddles you, whispering compliments in your ear before pulling you up by your waist and quickly dragging your body to his bedroom.

The bedroom that was a mess from before looks really organized and homey now than the last time you’re here.

“This is probably one of the reasons why I can’t take you out on a date… Was working my damn ass off to make this place livable… For us.” He didn’t give you time to react because he was already on you, pressing a wet kiss on your lips while he pushes you until your back falls onto the soft mattress of his bed.

“I only want what’s best for you,” he pulls away to speak those words before slamming his lips back onto yours. His hands trail to the front of your shirt, palming your breasts through the cloth before harshly ripping them off your body.

“Goddamn beautiful,” he whispers before moving his lips to your neck and sucking harshly, eager to leave his mark on your body. Just one of the many he’ll be leaving on your body.

“L-Lee! Please…” You sobbed, trying to pull his head away from your neck by tugging on his hair but he only moaned in response.

“What, sweetie? You want more? You just have to ask nicely…” He licks a spot on your neck before sucking again.

“No! Please stop! Get off!” You push on his chest and this time, he pulls away before staring down at your face and then your body.

“What are you talking about, sweetie? I have to make it up to you. I have a lot to make up to…” He smirks before spreading your legs wide open and crawling down so his face is in front of your glimmering core.

“You don’t want them pretty wrists broken, do you?” He gives you a dark look, forcing you to nod at him with wide and terrified eyes.

“Then keep your hands to yourself, okay?” He raises an eyebrow before smirking at your nodding head.

“You can pull on my hair. I like it when you do that.” He chuckles before burying his face in between your legs, surprising you at the warm and wet flick of his tongue on your clit. Your legs tried to clench together but his strong hands stopped you from locking his head in.

“Fucking delicious,” his breath blows on your clit, making your hips stutter. He chuckles against your core, sending vibrations all over your body.

“Should’ve done this a long time ago. You deserve all the pleasure in the world, taking care of me and all…” Your eyes widened when he inserted a finger, and then another before twisting inside of you, looking for that certain spongy spot that’ll drive you insane.

“Ah, there we go!” He says over you scream when he finds that special spot. He watches your pleasured face before going back down on your clit, tongue flicking wildly on your sensitive nub while his fingers continue to hit your special spot.

Your back arches at the unfamiliar sensation and Lee doubles his efforts as you cum on his tongue and fingers.

“Such a fucking good girl! My good girl.” He continues to drink your juice while you try to relax from the high he just pulled from you.

He crawls up your body until his face is just above you.

“I love you, sweetie. I should’ve said it a long time ago but I’m too much of an idiot. But I’m telling you now that I love you and only you. I love you now and I’ll love you forever.” He kisses you, not with lust but with love and you couldn’t help but cry at the overwhelming sensation he’s giving you. First, the spankings. Second, the first orgasm. Then, he tells you he loves you. It’s all too much for you. You never expected it from Lee but here he is now…

“I failed to make you feel loved but now… I’m going to make it up to you…” He places a kiss on your forehead before kissing you on the lips once more.

“I fucking love you.” He stares at you, his forehead on yours before you feel it.

“Sshhh…” He shushes you when you start squirming at the feeling of his tip poking at your entrance.

“L-Lee… Please don—”

“Don’t worry, sweetie… I’m here. I’ll make you feel good… I’ll take care of you…” His ginormous tip starts to enter you slowly and you close your eyes at the painful sensation.

You feel his lips kissing your wet cheeks as he whispers comforting words for you.

“I’m here… I love you… Fuck!” He fully settles inside you, breathing heavily at how your walls are hugging his huge cock.

“You feel so fucking good around me, sweetie. Like you belong to me… and you do! You belong to me!” He pulls out before slamming right back in.

“And seeing you with someone else? Seeing you being a whore for someone else when you told me you didn’t want to be my whore?” He sets a painful pace, harshly pulling out and slamming back in with power, loud slapping noises fill the room as he continues to rut into you.

“But that’s okay… I’m at fault as well. I didn’t treat you right… I was too busy planning a future for us that I forgot to take care of you.” He grabs your hips to pull your body closer when he slams inside you.

“LEE!” You scream, both in pain and pleasure.

“And for those other women? I didn’t want to hurt you with how I can get so needy but… You’re perfect for me. You belong to me and I belong to you. We belong to each other and we’re perfect for each other… You’re perfect for me and you take me so well!” He cries when your walls clench tighter around him.

“See?! Oh my fucking god!” His eyes close at the feeling of your walls milking him.

“Goddamn, sweetie!” He continues to rut into you, chasing for his orgasm when his eyes suddenly widen in realization.

“I’m going to cum, sweetie! But- but not before you do!” He trails a hand in between your bodies before skillfully rubbing on your clit with his thumb.

“There you go! I can feel you pulsing around me, sweetie. You close?” He breathes heavily, watching your face as he continues to push himself in and out of you.

“L-lee…” you groan, trying to hide your face but Lee uses his free hand to keep your face in place.

“So beautiful…” He kisses your lips hungrily before rutting into you faster. Harder. His thumb rubbing your clit with vigor and you couldn’t hold it anymore.

You cum with a cry, arms automatically wrapping around Lee’s neck as your body shakes in pleasure while your cunt clenched around his aching cock.

“Ahh FUCK!” Lee follows you, cumming with a shout as your walls continue to milk him. You can feel him emptying inside of you and you couldn’t help the feeling of being full.

Lee suddenly presses a hand on your lower stomach, grinning when he feels his cock and his spent through your skin.

His jaw clenches before he scatters off you, you couldn’t watch him with how you’re so exhausted but seconds later, you feel him lying beside you on his side, watching you.

He takes your hand before slipping something on your finger.

You pull your hand away from him before gasping in shock. It’s a ring…

“Lee?”

He smiles at you before pressing a kiss on your head.

“I’ve been planning on giving that to you. Proposing... But shit happened…” He laughs before taking the blanket and covering the both of you.

“I’ve been planning everything, sweetie. The house… Our house. I did everything for you. I’m doing everything for you. I’m sorry for not handling things better. That’s my fault.” He stares at you before smiling.

You give him a small smile, still a bit terrified but a bit… loved and soft as well…

You let him press a kiss on your lips but let out a gasp when he pulls away, his hands on your neck but not clenching to choke you.

“We’ve both made mistakes, sweetie. But we’ve learned, right?” He asks, looking at you expectantly.

“You don’t whore yourself out for other men. You’re not a whore. You told me that, right?” He smiles when you nod against his hold.

He retracts his hand, patting your head, and caressing your face.

“Such a good girl… One of the reasons why I fucking love you.” He kisses you again before sighing.

“I’ll never get tired of saying I love you from now on…” He lays on his back before pulling your head on his chest, playing with your hair.

“You love me just as much, right?” He asks and you couldn’t even lie to him right now. Even if you keep denying it, you’ll never get over Lee. He is the only man you learned to love.

“Yes, Lee. I love you just as much…”

His chest rumbles before he presses another kiss on your head.

“That’s because we’re perfect for each other… We belong together.”

And you believe him. You do belong together. What’s a relationship without ups and downs, right? You’ll be spending your days and night with Lee just like before but you have a feeling that a lot of things will be different from now on.

You stare at the ring on your finger, shining brightly in the dark.

Everything will be different from now on and it’s for the better.

You smile at the thought before staring up at Lee’s peaceful sleeping face.

“We belong together.”

---

an: like i said... rushed ending sdfghjkl

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#lee bodecker x reader #dark!lee bodecker x reader #lee bodecker #the devil all the time #tdatt #tdatt fic #tdatt imagine #lee bodecker imagine #dark fic #dark!fic #yandere lee bodecker

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hiems-incaelo · 3 years

Text

OKAY SO I HAVE MADE A NARUTO FIX IT

In which everyone leaves the village. Like, literally everyone.

Or: I wanted Gaara and Sasuke to bond over slightly homicidal impulses. I gave them a fucking fix it which includes: woke Naruto, found family, toad sage Sakura, revolution, Taka and some more people including Itachi, Tsunade, Tenzo and someone who might not be as dead as yall thought.

SO:

Orochimaru knows abt the truth of the uchiha massacre. this changes everything. he decides to go with a different plan: plant curse mark on sasuke, kidnap him after the exams, train him (and his sharingan) for a year, take Suna’s jinchuuriki, train em both for a year maybe two, take over sasuke’s body, use Sasuke’s sharingan to gain control of the ichibi, use the ichibi to destroy Konoha.

Chunin exams happen, Sasuke gets his curse mark. Sasuke, Shikamaru, Neji and Tenten make chunin

Sasuke is manipulated / kidnapped → he leaves the village

1 year passes, sasuke trains with Orochimaru in the meantime, during that Shino also makes chunin and also Orochimaru tells Sasuke the truth abt the massacre

Orochimaru kidnaps Gaara. Sasuke and Gaara share like 2 conversations and they kill / flee from Orochimaru

they start travelling together, and become even closer.

during this time Konoha (thus also Naruto and friends) hears word of what happened. Tenten feels more and more distant from Konoha’s ideals. Neji is with her.

Akatsuki also knows abt Orochimaru’s death. Itachi has an existential crisis. Tenten and Neji manage to convince Lee to leave the village. Naruto goes with them.

They try to find (and hopefully team up with) Sasuke and Gaara. it’s been two years at this point. Naruto finally realizes how badly he was treated by the village.

Kakashi and Gai are wondering why the fuck their teams just. left. Sakura stayed ofc, she’s doing missions w team 8 for now. Guy finds a letter left by his team.

Kakashi wants to send out an anbu team (Genma, Yugao, Hayate, Tenzo) to retreive their lost boys. Gai comes at him, smacks him in the face and tells him to WAKE THE FUCK UP. somehow, Kakashi changes his mind. they also leave Konoha, to try to find their students themselves, not to bring em back but to help em and protect em (they’re still like fifteen now, they hardly know how to count to ten). Tenzo finds em and goes with them.

Gaara and Sasuke are doing pretty ok. Their main goal now is to just. survive and make sure no one finds them. Gaara is still pretty insane ofc (he never got the talk no jutsu) but he finds himself feeling calmer more now. Sasuke trains in genjutsu.

they’re all sixteen now and GOD finally have Neji, Naruto, Tenten and Lee found Sasuke and Gaara. they find them in a cave, Sasuke assumes they’re enemies because ofc he would. they talk, and (tho reluctantly on Sasuke and Gaara’s side) team up. Gaara rll rll rll wants to kill them all but doesn’t becos Sasuke knows these people?? his first friend knows these people?? well then they must be at least a bit good????

Neji, Sasuke and Lee spar. a lot. Tenten also joins in sometimes, but doesn’t rll wanna get involved in those boys’ bullshit. Naruto tries to bond with Gaara (mainly over jinchuuriki stuff), and Gaara realizes he doesn’t rll wanna kill these people.

it doesn’t take long for Gai, Kakashi and Tenzo to find the teenagers ofc (two times jinchuuriki chakra is basically a beacon of light). they meet up, and see the state of their students (and a random red haired insane kid??) and they’re just like. yo. let us join your found family.

the akatsuki is still searching for the jinchuuriki, but Itachi lowkey finds out / discovers / theorizes that Sasuke already knows the truth abt him. he sends out one of his crows to make sure, and yes, Sasuke does know, and Itachi leaves the akatsuki.

Itachi travels to find Sasuke’s found family now, comes through a village and finds a very suspicious eyeless beggar sitting on the side of the road. and omg- IS THAT SHISUI-

it is shisui. and yo, guess what, Shisui and Itachi come across the northern hideout and they see Juugo and they’re all like omg we’re taking this child with us. They come across another orochimaru hideout. they beat all the guards, find Suigetsu, and say fuck it we’re adopting this one too. they all get to know each other blah blah and sui and juugo find out their saviors are looking for their younger brother so Suigetsu’s just all like ‘bro what if we just get Karin she’s like a hella good chakra sensor’ and so they do

so now Itachi and Shisui (who got his 1 eye back btw) travel with Taka and well it still takes a while to find Sasuke cuz Karin’s never rll sensed him before yk and they wind up in a village and they sense this amazingly huge powerful chakra and suddenly one of the fucking sannin is standing before them.

Tsunade stops them (she sees S rank Itachi Uchiha, ofc she does), but when she hears abt the truth and what they’re all doing she’s just like ‘sure i’ll come’

during ALL of this Jiraiya is low key dying inside. like e v e r y o n e is leaving so he takes Sakura and teaches her jutsu and shit. Sakura is also going thru a crisis, but she has Ino and she has Jiraiya and rll all she’s thinking rn is fuck it i’m bringing them ALL back, even Kakashi-sensei and Gai-sensei.

back to the Sasuke fam everything’s going good. sasuke teaches kakashi how to properly handle a jinchuuriki using their sharingan, gai continues training pretty much everyone, Sasuke tells em all abt the massacre. they all low key say ‘yo we kinda need to revolution a bit ngl’

Itachi and fam FINALLY find sasuke. they all meet up (that’s Sasuke, Gaara, Naruto, Tenten, Lee, Neji, Kakashi, Gai, Tenzo & Itachi, Shisui, Suigetsu, Juugo, Karin, Tsunade, Shizune.) it’s pretty emotional but GOD they’ve got so much manpower they could actually do the revolution bit now.

and meanwhile Sakura’s all gettin powerful and shit and she’s trying to find- well, everyone but the Akatsuki is still going around and well they did lose one of their most powerful members just now: Itachi left, and Hidan and Kakuzu died the same way they did last time (Ino-Shika-Cho trio is still in Konoha, just instead of Kakashi Sakura went with them to help them get revenge)

Hinata is not doing great, especially with the Hyuuga being angry that their prodigy has left, but sadly they can’t acivate the seal (somehow)

reason why they can’t activate the seal: Kakashi, Tsunade, Shisui and Itachi are all hella smart. they have already long taken care of it.

gaara and Naruto are doing more jinchuuriki training, Sasuke helps them and kakashi and Tenzo do too. Tenten is learning taijutsu from tsunade with Karin, Neji learns medical jutsu (shizune helps ofc). Suigetsu learns more sword fighting from shisui, Juugo and Itachi and Shisui all bond over birds.

Gaara realizes…. maybe he doesn’t need to kill people to feel a reason to live anymore. he has a family now; a real one, and he loves Sasuke and he loves Naruto and he loves Lee and Neji and he does meditation with Juugo and he feels alright.

Pain still comes to Konoha, really more to find out about Naruto’s whereabouts than to like… do something. Jiraiya, Sandaime, Sakura, Ino-Shika-Cho, Hinata, Kiba, Shino, Kurenai, Hayate, Genma, all the other anbu and chunin and jonin, all help fight Pain, and they win in the end. Jiraiya and the Sandaime both die.

And that… sort of activates something in missing nin fam. Danzo is left in charge, and well, everyone is not fucking a-okay with it so ya know what time it is

they organize a revolution. During this time, Sasori, Deidara, Hidan, Kakuzu, Pain, Konan, and Orochimaru are already dead; Zetsu and kaguya just don't exist (because I said so) so before they plan their attack on Konoha, Gai and Kakashi set out to defeat the last members of the Akatsuki; Kisame and Tobi.

well it’s pretty obvious who fights who. With Kakashi’s new mindset, and mastery of Kamui and training with his sharingan, eventually he wins the fight. Gai defeats Kisame, almost with ease because Kisame doesn’t really have any reason left to fight anyway. Kakashi takes off Tobi’s mask.

you know how that goes. He suddenly sees his (dead) best friend’s face on the guy he just murdered and GOD he is not okay. Gai comforts him, tries to get him back to his right mind. Kakashi had been healing anyway, especially with his new family, so eventually he does get over it, but just… it's a shock. a very, very heavy one.

they plan their revolution carefully. what they need to do is these things;

Send Tsunade back to the village and let her take the role as Hokage before Danzo can.

Sasuke, Itachi, Shisui, Kakashi will take care of Danzo. Danzo was never a rll well known person in Konoha anyway, so ppl don't rll notice it when he's gone (at least not civilians and normal shinobi)

Tsunade clears everyone (the whole found fam. At least the ones from Konoha: Karin, Suigetsu, Juugo, Gaara are out of her hands, but they still find refuge in Konoha)

Naruto and Team Guy go to Ino-Shika-Cho to convince them to join their revolution. Ino is in. Choji says "hmm okay sure" Shikamaru is lowkey a nationalist in the Manga, so it takes a bit more for him to switch sides, especially after Asuma's death, but eventually he caves in.

Sakura is fucking depressed and when she finds out her team is back, she is angry. (she should be. They all left her without saying anything, her master just died, the whole village is counting on her now. She has every single right to be angry) it takes Ino, Naruto, Sasuke (who doesn't rll care but he still respects Sakura as a former teammate) and Kakashi to just. Talk.

And they talk abt everything. A very long, very overdue talk that is very much necessary.

The village elders suspiciously die of food poisoning right around that time. During the interrogation, a pale guy who says his name is Sai won't say anything, even when the poison is found in his quarters. Sasuke is there during the interrogation, and he looks at Sai's obvious fake smile and he thinks omg I've found a new bestie lemme introduce you to my other two besties Gaara and Naruto-

Ino takes control of T&I. Shikamaru and Sasuke take control of Hokage advisor positioning. Kakashi, Tenzo, Itachi and Shisui all disband ROOT. Snakes of ink suspiciously leave important classified documents near the Hokage's office that had been kept hidden before.

Neji takes control of the hospital with Shizune. He also confronts the Hyuuga clan, and with the help of Tenten, Lee, Guy, and Hinata (who'd joined the revolution, and apologized to Neji for ignoring the situation and her privilege) he gets the Hokage to ban all kinds of forced labor.

It is Ino, Sakura and Gaara who spread the truth of the Uchiha clan. Civilians are shocked, shinobi are even more shocked, clan heads can't fucking believe it. Sasuke, Itachi and Shisui rebuild the Uchiha compound (and place a little grave for Obito with Kakashi)

It takes years for everything to cool down. Tsunade tries to do everything in her power to disband the shinobi system bit by bit

In the end it's when Kakashi becomes Hokage the real changes happen. Kakashi creates a new schooling and ranking system, and it looks like this:

The academy is open to anyone. You learn things like medical jutsu, history, culture, transportations and sealing techniques, and chakra control. No harmful jutsu. None. The kids aren't taught how to perfectly throw a kunai through someone's head. They aren't taught how to bury someone alive. They aren't taught how to slice someone's throat in seconds.

Once you graduate from the academy, you become genin. This includes harmless missions, with no fighting or killing. Transportation, errands, so only D rank or C rank.

From there, you can decide to work as civilian or in places like the hospital, or you can decide to take the chunin exams WHEN YOU TURN 18. THAT'S RIGHT. YOU CAN ONLY BECOME CHUNIN WHEN YOU'RE OF AGE. No killing unless you're an adult. No violence unless you're an adult.

All the old bags who could object to this new system are already dead. Haha.

Gaara gets a letter about 4 years after the revolution (he's twenty now). It says: Gaara pls we heard you were alive and Temari and I don't wanna be Kazekage but dad died three days ago and you're the only one who can rule the village now also I hope you're not still insane and killing anyone to feel alive haha pls come back

So he comes back. And becomes Kazekage. And installs the same shinobi system as there is in Konoha. And he creates and alliance with Konoha.

And well. Sasuke wants to live with Itachi and Shisui in the Uchiha compound, he does, but. He misses the world. And he hasn't felt at home in Konoha since he was 7, even if it is so much better now. So. He becomes Shadow Hokage. And sort of ambassador of Konoha and Suna. But rll he just travels and visits Taka's new hideout and does outside missions to make sure Konoha doesn't go broke and maybe he works too hard but he lives and he's happy.

Naruto becomes Hokage when he's twenty six. He misses Sasuke, but now that he's Hokage he can give the official order to make Sasuke check in (in person) once every two weeks. And that's the first thing he does as Hokage.

Sakura becomes Hokage advisor with Shikamaru. Kakashi finally steps down, and practically launches the hat at Naruto, throws on a kimono and takes Guy and takes a bag and. Leaves. And he spends the rest of his days in the hot springs.

Lee gets a chunin team he trains. Kiba and Shino do too.

Tenten handles any chunin exams.

Neji is doing great at the hospital, and he has several students teaches.

Hinata is Hyuuga clan head. She disbands the rules of main and branch family, and she makes sure everyone is treated equally.

Itachi and Shisui are just chilling in the Uchiha district. They write to Sasuke every two days. They feed their crows, and they plant tomatoes, and they know they're at peace.

Tenzo and Sai also do outside missions, and they often team up with Sasuke. Naruto calls them the Shadow Squad.

Iruka still teaches at the academy. He's moved in with Naruto, because Sasuke couldn't, and Kakashi couldn't, and so what maybe he wants to yell "welcome home" at his son

Taka is doing fantastic. Sasuke found a random kid on the side of the road and dropped it off at the Taka hideout with a "idk how to take care of these but I'm sure yall will figure it out" and that's how Mitsuki gets adopted.

Tsunade is doing whatever the hell she wants. Shizune too.

There is only one wedding ever. It's Ino and Sakura's. They adopt two cute kids called Inojin and Sarada and they love them, so much.

(there is one more wedding. It's between Sasuke and Gaara and it's purely so that Sasuke doesn't have to pay Konoha taxes. Only Gaara, Sasuke, Itachi, Juugo and Tsunade know.)

And they're all happy. They're all okay. The world is far from perfect, but it's better than it was before, and they'll keep working untill they're satisfied.

#Naruto #Fix it #Inosaku #Anti boruto #Sasuke #Gaara #Kakagai

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blinder-secrets · 3 years

Text

Count For Me

tommy x anxious reader, 2164 words

a/n: i’m not gonna say the reader is having a panic attack specifically, more that they’re experiencing a lot of anxiety, so take that with a pinch of salt pls. i’m not suggesting this is how all anxiety feels or that it can be alleviated like this every time, im just basing it on my own experiences so enjoy!

You’re sat in the kitchen, or rather, the stairwell to the kitchens. You had every intention of making it there, of sitting at the large oak table in the fore-room, and having tea. Bread. Of letting Frances relax and serving yourself. But, instead, you’re on the last step down, legs bouncing on the balls of your feet.

It can only be described as fretting, incessant worry; your mind is agonising over things already done, over what’s to come next. It isn’t guns, or business, or family arguments that’s got you. It’s something invisible. Unknown, but biting away regardless. It’s sitting on the step and thinking about everything, and nothing — it’s losing yourself entirely, feeling the hand tighten around your throat, the dread, the weight of it in your chest. You sit and you feel afraid. After all you’ve seen in the world, all you’ve been through with Tommy. It’s your own head that works itself against you now, your own commentary that rots your mind in the quiet moments. Fuck. If you said it aloud they’d laugh you out the room. If you told Pol she’d say you were sick, that you needed air and spirits, and none of this Shelby wreckage to pull you down.

‘In the kitchen, Sir.’

Oh, Christ, Tommy’s home. You hear him, direct and toward where you're hiding. From his footsteps, it seems like he’s coming from the opposite wing, so he’ll make it into the kitchen before you ever did.

He calls your name through the hallway. It bounces off the cool tiles.

‘I’m here, Tommy,’ you say back in a false tone; you dread him finding you more than the rest of it.

You’ve got maybe a minute to collect yourself, but from the way your feet are sinking through the stone of the floor beneath you, that’s not going to happen. He arrives in the kitchen, says your name again. He can’t see you from where he is.

‘On the stairs,’ you tell him.

Once he’s in front of you, your energy spikes. It’s easier to ignore the feeling when you’re with him. He tucks it away for you, somewhat, just a bit. ‘What is it?’ he asks, shaking his head slightly, his lips parted. A cigarette leaks smoke from between his fingers. He’s taken his coat off, but the jacket’s still there. Still dressed like he could leave again at any moment.

‘Nothing.’ You smile. ‘Are you back now?’

‘For now,’ he answers. He steps forward, places the back of his hand against your forehead. ‘Are you sick?’

‘No. Just wanted to sit somewhere.’

He doesn’t believe you, he knows you too well. You still your knees but they’re bouncing again before you can offer an explanation.

‘Tell me,’ he insists, clueless.

Where do you start? What could you possibly say that would make sense. I was going to make lunch, Tommy, but then I sat down here and I couldn’t get up again. ‘Nothing,’ you repeat, pausing to force a swallow. ‘I don’t know, really.’

He takes a drag. On the exhale, he offers the smoke to you, silent but willing to help. You shake your head; it’s not your habit, it doesn’t calm you like it does with him.

‘Has something happened?’ he asks. He’s patient, waiting for you to give him a way in, prepared to go slow when you need it.

‘No, nothing’s happened.’ Nothing you knew of. You were doing fine, going about the day like normal, and then suddenly you weren’t. It had already swamped you before you realised it was coming. ‘It’s just my head,’ you say, forcing the words over a breath that hadn’t quite made it. ‘I think it’s out to get me, Tom.’

He sighs. His lips pour smoke onto the tiles as he looks down. Another stress for him: you sat on his shoulders like the rest of it did, weighed him down without meaning to. You feel yourself rock forward, your head pulling into your chest, like there’s string attached from your chin to your heart and now it’s constricting. ‘Sorry,’ you pant, though you may have said it in your head. It could’ve been a thought amongst the sea and you wouldn’t have known. Sorry for the stress, Tommy, sorry for it all.

‘Hey,’ he says, repeating it firmly after a pause. ‘Hey. Look at me.’ His hand goes to your face, fingers leading your chin upwards until your gaze is on him. ‘Whatever it is, it’s just noise, alright? Just shit in the trough.’

Your lids drop a fraction. ‘Tommy…’

‘No.’ He shakes his head. ‘You’re here, with me, right, in the kitchen. Don’t let it pull you under.’

You don’t want to. You’re scanning him, looking for something to ground you, the gold of his cufflink, the button of his waistcoat. Nothing sticks. You’re trying to focus but it’s splitting your attention again. Filling your head with the noise, the pull, the drag. ‘I think I’m going mad,’ you say. Your head’s so tight you can’t make sense of it.

His brows draw together. You focus on the crease in the skin between them. ‘What is it?’ he asks. ‘Eh? What’s worrying you so much?’

‘I don’t know,’ you answer honestly. It sounds like a plea but it’s all you can give him.

You feel like a horse on the track; everything’s past you, behind you, loud in the stands and betting against you. There’s a worry to your left but it’s overtaken by the one on your right. So much at once, too often and too fast to know which is the biggest problem, which is the one causing the damage. If you could pluck something out, you would. If you could tell him, it’d be the first thing you did. There isn’t an answer to his question that doesn’t just make it worse — the more you try to put a name to it, or explain, the harder it gets to breathe. You can feel your heartbeat in your wrists.

Swearing, you drop your head again like it’s a lead weight, letting his fingertips drag up your cheek with the motion. ‘I can’t tell,’ you say weakly. ‘Feels like I’m drowning.’

The ring you’re wearing sits loose on your index finger; you spin it around the knuckle nervously, forcing a shallow breath each time the ruby completes a loop. If you look at him again you might cry. He didn’t ask for this, he didn’t know what to do with you anymore than you knew yourself.

Clearing his throat once, Tommy puts the cigarette between his lips and bends to grab you with both hands. He takes you by the elbows, thumbs tight on your arms, and pulls you to your feet before you have room to complain. You try to avoid his gaze, but his head ducks and chases your eyes until you give in.

‘Listen,’ he starts. He takes the cigarette out, blows the smoke away before he talks. ‘I won’t let you, alright? No-one’s drowning here.’ He looks certain, dedicated, his eyes dig through yours and back into the noise. ‘There’s nothing going on in there that we can’t sort. Okay?’

You want to believe him, so you nod. The next breath you take swells your chest into his.

‘Come here,’ he says briskly, pulling you after him as he walks you deeper into the kitchen. ‘When we were in France—stand there.’ You’re put by the table. He goes to the nearest drawer, pilfering through the silverware as he continues, ‘When we were in France, they told us we had to count.’

‘Count?’

‘To still our hands.’ He turns, pushing the drawer shut with his hip, and files through the forks he’s now holding. ‘Bullets, cards. Saw John counting his teeth once.’

You blink like it’ll help you listen. Everything he’s saying is going in, but bouncing back again. It rattles in your ear canal like coins down a well.

‘Here,’ he says, offering them to you. ‘Count them.’

You hesitate. Then he grabs your wrist, sets your palm straight, and pours the cutlery into it.

‘Go on.’

Mumbling an agreement, you turn to the table and put the first fork onto the wood. One. Two. You hope he doesn’t notice the slight shake along your fingers, the clumsiness as you pass forks from one hand to the other.

‘Do it out loud,’ he guides, as he stands beside you. He exhales, dragging it out and pushing the smoke over your shoulder; you’d forgotten he even had one lit.

‘Three,’ you say. ‘Four.’

All those cigarettes. Lips barely his unless there’s one between them. They’ll get him one day, you think. The cough will get worse and then it’ll be you, on your own in this big house, you looking after Charlie, you with the ache and the grief and the silence.

‘Stop thinking,’ he chides. ‘Count.’

‘Five, six, seven.’ You sigh. The forks clatter on top of one another. ‘Eight, nine. This is stupid, Tommy. Ten.’ You turn to him, expectant of something else, something more helpful.

He just raises his eyebrows, gesturing for you to pick them up again. ‘Now do it over.’

‘Again?’

He nods. The cigarette is extinguished, flicked to the floor and crushed between his sole and the tile. ‘You do it again, and again,’ he lists, ‘until it feels like you can breathe.’

‘Really?’

‘Really.’

It takes four rounds of it before your chest loosens; four tens, over and over, forks placed down and picked up again as you count. He stands in silence the whole time, his hands in his pockets, his eyes on the table. How he doesn’t tire of it, you don’t know. He clears his throat occasionally but doesn’t say anything until you break the rhythm.

‘I think it’s worked,’ you mumble, taking care as you set the last fork down. ‘I feel better.’

It’s not all gone, but you feel calmer. Stiller. Your hands aren’t as jittery and the room feels big again, cold and empty and utilitarian.

He sighs, heavily, thankfully. The noise loud and partnered with a rough tone. ‘Alright,’ he says. He clicks into motion, pulling his hands free and turning to you so that he can bracket them around your face. His fingers are rough, warm, grounding. The rings stamp your cheeks, cold like ice. ‘What did I say, eh? Nothing we couldn’t sort.’

You smile limply and put a hand to his wrist. ‘Thank-you, Tommy.’

You hadn’t expected him to break through it, to make you pause. Breathe. It’s usually the other way around, you calming him. You sifting through the muck. It had never crossed your mind that it would work in reverse.

‘Next time,’ he says quietly, ‘you tell me.’ His chin dips a fraction, blue eyes laced with intent. ‘You tell me as soon as it get’s too much, alright?’

‘Okay,’ you promise, nodding between his palms. ‘Sorry.’

His lip tweaks slightly. ‘What have you got to be sorry for?’ he asks. Then he tilts up to kiss your forehead and, pulling back, utters ‘my silly girl’ under his breath.

You can’t smile. The question almost loses you again. You have plenty to be sorry for, you think, handfuls of apologies shoved into each corner of your brain. ‘Let’s do something,’ you say quickly, chasing the scatter away. ‘Distract me, please.’

He kisses you, lips firm and sure against yours in an agreement, a promise. ‘I have something to show you,’ he says afterwards. His grip on your face drops and he takes a hand instead, fingers curling around your palm. ‘The new horse is here.’

‘It is?’ You cling to him, put your free hand around his bicep and pull tight to his side like the closeness will help. He looks at you like he understands. ‘Well, show me then,’ you push, almost able to smile into it. ‘She was pretty from what I remember.’

‘Very pretty,’ he agrees. ‘Come on.’

You follow him through the house and across the drive. He doesn’t stop talking the whole way, which is unlike him, but he knows any silence will just cause you to slip again, to overthink until you’re tumbling. You answer his questions, dumb as they are, like he doesn’t already know the answers. You tell him what you had for breakfast, what you read in the paper. He asks, and he drawls, and he comments on the bloom of the roses as you pass them. He keeps going and going, until you’re so wrapped up in him, and the house, and the world outside, that everything else falls quiet. Peaceful. He fills your head with his own voice and you thank him for it. You thank him, and you hold on like it’s the only thing keeping you above the water.

‘You alright?’ he asks, checking once you’ve reached the stables.

‘Yes, Tom.’ You smile, meaning it. ‘I’m with you, remember?’

#tommy x reader #tommy shelby x reader #Tommy Shelby #tommy shelby imagines #peaky blinders fanfic #this was only short and feels HORRRRRRRRFICALLYYYY exposing in terms of my experience with my horrible brain so #enjoy but avert your eyes and forget i exist thankyou!#mostly sharing because i know we all want to imagine tommy shelby looking after us :( <3

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thewalkingdead-imagines · 3 years

Text

TWD - Negan Imagine ~ “Find Me”

Imagine about the 18th episode of season 10

Summary: Maggie’s arrival in Alexandria puts a strain on Negan and the Reader’s relationship, that feeds off their worst fears and forces them to work through their pain and panic about their future together

Dusk was falling over Alexandria, lulling it slowly but surely into its mellow, dusty blue light. The sun had entirely sunken behind the treeline by now, leaving the air stripped off its warmth and brisk as it flowed into the small woodhouse by the walls. Negan had driven his last nail into the planks of the damaged house merely a half hour ago, frowning and unusually quiet since the moment Maggie and her son had walked into Alexandria. He’d barely said a thing since then and neither had you, too tense and shocked even though both of you had known that this moment would come one day or another. With a deep sigh, you moved in to start and collect the medical utensils you’d just used on your last patient, hoping that preparing dinner back at your house would allow Negan to distract himself a little. The loud squeaking of the wooden floor planks made you flinch up slightly and shoot your glance towards the open door in a split second as a figure shielded the last light from falling inside. “Hey”, Daryl grumbled as he glimpsed at you and raised his hands slightly in response to your reaction,”Just me.” “Oh hi”, you said, straightening yourself up from your crouched position over the table,”Sorry, I was just surprised. Thought I was the only one left here.” Daryl nodded slightly, his eyes wandering over the table with the last meds that you had to pack back up again before he looked back up. “There’s still someone at the infirmary?”, he asked, shaking his head slightly as you started to look him over, intuitively searching for any injuries or wounds on him that needed need treatment,“Not for me, for the newbies.” Maggie’s group. For a moment, you were a little startled before you caught yourself again and started to nod as you moved in to lay a bunch of bandages back inside the bag. “Yeah, Steve usually takes that shift so he should still be there for some time”, you said, gulping slightly as you tried to act as casual as you could, though this whole situation made you nothing but tense, “It’s only him though. Is a lot of care needed?” “Nah, they’re mostly fine...Maggie just settled ‘em down in one of the houses”, he mumbled with a slight shake of his head, before it got quiet for a moment and the question you’d felt pressing you from within finally slipped out of your lips. “Who exactly are they by the way?”, you asked, glimpsing at Daryl who visibly seemed to tense up,”I’m just curious.” Shifting from foot to foot Daryl looked away from you, his glance bouncing around the room before he cleared his throat slightly. “Her people. Ran into their community years back and lived there till some psychos destroyed it...Came back here to get a new safe place”, he grumbled as his eyes finally landed back on you and he rubbed his hand tensely over his arm, “One of ‘em followed them back here, killed a couple when we were outside until we could get him...that’s why we’ve been out there for longer, made sure that all of ‘me are gone.” You only nodded as you listened to the story, trying by all means to not show how tense you actually were. What had happened out there must have been horrible, and you had never been against taking people into Alexandria, but there was something about this all that rubbed you the wrong way. Maggie was only back because her old community got attacked and they needed a new place. She left for years and was only back because of these events and directly rolled into the place as if she owned it, as if bringing a bunch of new people didn’t need to at least be talked about with the council, just to clear things up. Maybe you were being oversensitive when it came to her, maybe not, but the thought that she might try to hurt Negan’s position within this community after leaving for years and only coming back because her new place failed to persevere brought a whole new wave of suspense and a sense of anger over you. “You’re done for the day?”, Daryl asked after you’d become quiet for a moment, visibly sunken into your thoughts. “Yeah I’m just finishing that up and then I’ll get back home”, you said, nodding towards the bag and brushing the tense feelings and thoughts out of the way for a moment as Daryl tilted his head and brought them right back with merely two words. “Negan’s there?”

“Yeah”, you only nodded, trying to act as if you hadn’t heard the slight stinger in his voice. You weren’t in the mood for this type of discussion, especially not now and not with him. ”Finished his work and already wanted to prepare some dinner.” “Things about him aren’t decided yet, y’know that right?” You’d known that he’d say something like this. You’d known it and still it got you more worked up than you already were. “I know that we can use any helping hand to built Alexandria back up”,you said, trying to keep your cool even though you could hear your own voice shaking slightly with suspense ,”And Negan has two healthy and strong hands that are pretty much needed right now.” Just like they were needed to kill Alpha. You suppressed this last part, for now. You knew your half brother more than well enough to know which kind of comments would make him shut down immediately and though there was an urge in you to repeat once more for him what would have happened to all these places without Negan’s help, you refrained from it. You wouldn’t shy away to throw it at him if things got more serious, but this right now was not the place or time. “We didn’t get to have these type of things for all these last years... we’re just enjoying whatever we can get”, you only added, calmer now and a bit more conciliable though that didn’t let the slight frown on Daryl’s face to vanish. “Well”, he grumbled, glimpsing at you through the brown strands of hair that fell into his face,”Do it for as long as you can.” Clenching your jaw you stared at him, growing more hostile with every passing second. That remark wasn’t needed, he could have just kept it for himself, just like you had done it for the sake of the moment. You could feel the anger starting to built up within you, starting to push you more and more back into your defensive mode as you let out a sharp breath. “He’s earned his spot”, you said, throwing in the last salve that had laid on the table into the bag before you shut it and glanced back up at Daryl,”So I hope that we can do it for a very long time.” A mere huff fell from his lips and he only nodded before he started to walk back towards the door and grumbled his last words to you. “See you around.”

The encounter with Daryl left you with even more tense than you already had been since the moment Maggie had walked back into Alexandria, so much that you hurried to get out of the house and walk back home as soon as Daryl was gone. The cool evening air barely helped cooling yourself down as well as the worries that kept on pressing in on you, trying to creep back into your head and turn everything upside down. A thick sigh left your lips as you moved from the grassy underground that surrounded the houses by the wall onto the blacktop of the street and passed by the last few workers who were out here, doing their job. A few of them carried wood towards the other side of Alexandria where the walkers had left a smaller hole in the wall that still needed to be fixed and a few others carried shovels and a small wheelbarrow that was filled with some unearthed wildflowers towards the graveyard that had been damaged by the walking dead as well. A tight breath left your lips as you walked past it, watching the workers move into the back where most graves still needed to be fixed with new or fixed crosses and flowers, and yet it wasn’t any of those graves that made you halt, but one in the front. It was the freshest grave, the cross already fixed and with new flowers already planted by its side and even from your spot on the street you were able to read the name of your friend that was carved into the light wood. You missed him. You barely had time to grieve and process what Dante had done to him, nor had you been able to realize that he was gone. During the last days, you’d often found yourself turning around in the infirmary, wanting to ask him something only to realize that you would never have the chance to do so again. Things at the infirmary were working fine, but it wasn’t the same, especially because you hadn’t just lost a colleague but a friend, one of the only people who’d never judged or distrusted you because of your relationship to Negan. Someone who you’d been able to talk about to about random things, whether it was about the infirmary and medicine, stuff that was going on in Alexandria or anything that just seemed interesting at the moment. Now, whenever you seemed to talk to someone it lead back to your relationship, to you having to defend it as well as Negan’s new found freedom, just like with Daryl just now. You were tired of it, of these discussions that were always the same and of the helplessness to not be able to decide what was happening in your life. All you wanted was to live peacefully with Negan in that house and built something up with him. You didn’t ask for more, just that. A tight breath left your lips as you glimpsed at the grave again, trying to keep a lump from growing in your throat as your eyes caught the tiny teddy bear by the cross Rosita must have put there with Coco. “Fuck”, you mumbled to yourself, trying to blink the first tears away that had shot into your eyes before you forced yourself to move further down the street, trying to keep your mind from traveling into darker places, places that would tell you that Siddiq’s grave and the graves of all these other people were only proof of how easy it was to still lose loved ones at any given moment. Of how easy it still was for you to lose Negan. Though you only wanted to come home as fast as you could, you took the extra route around the lake in Alexandria’s midst, trying to let the walking and the colder growing air calm your head down and snap back to normal. Unsurprisingly, it only helped semi-well and you still felt tense when you walked up the porch of your home, only held together by the thought to enjoy any time you could get with Negan in here. “I’m home”, you called out as soon as you shut the door with a small thud behind you and felt the scent of Negan’s dinner fill the air. “Hey Baby”, you heard him call back as you found him standing by the stove, frying some vegetables in the pan along with the portion of boar that you’d gotten after a group went out to hunt yesterday. “Smells good”, you said, letting your bag down to the floor before you moved in to wrap your arms around Negan from behind and peeked at the simmering meal. “Sure hope it also tastes good”, he said, forcing up a smile that broke through the tension that still visibly laid over his face as he turned just enough to press a small kiss over your lips. “I’m sure it will”, you mumbled back, nuzzling your nose into the fabric of his shirt while you could feel his tense body shifting slightly. A small groan left his lips as he flexed his back and shoulders a little, tensed up not only due to the Maggie’s reappearance but also the work he’d done all day. “You wanna go take a bath together later on?”, you asked, peaking up at him as you loosened your embrace around him to stroke your hand softly over his strained shoulders, hoping that the bath could be yet another distraction for the both of you,”can do wonders.” “Yeah”,you only heard Negan say with a nod, no cocky grin or wolfish remark as usual, and even though it was a ridiculously small detail, its absence only showed you more how fraught he truly was. ”I think the food is done.”

Oddly silent you moved over with him to the already set table and got some of the food onto both of your plates and started to eat, though neither of you seemed truly hungry after today’s events. You tried to get something down, but the suspense that filled the room was so palpable that it closed up your throat and weighed so heavily down on you that you found yourself more poking into our food than actually eating it. It was the same for Negan, he was barely eating and what concerned you more, he wasn’t talking at all. The suspense-filled silence seemed to take up everything and kept you locked into your spot, unsure of what do do or say while Negan only seemed to tense up more with every passing minute until his voice cut through the silence. “That kid has no Dad ‘cause of me.” Your glance shot up to him the moment he spoke it out, feeling your heart sinking as you watched him gulping thickly without looking up once, he only stared at the wood of the table as if it was the only thing keeping him from breaking. A trembling breath fell from your lips as you slowly moved in and grasped his hand, squeezing it softly as you tried to find the right words without making the situation harder than it already was. “There’s a lot that lead up to that point, it wasn’t just you”, you mumbled, only to see Negan’s eyes shooting up to you while a thick huff left his lips. “Well I was the one swinging the bat, wasn’t I?” “You thought that we’d killed a whole outpost of people just to steal supplies.” Your eyes were locked onto his as you spoke, and though you tried to keep your voice firm you were insecure and unsure of how to go on as well. You were aware of the shit Negan had done in the past, but he’d paid his price and suffered enough having to work through them in these years down in the cell and you didn’t want him to fall into these deep holes again, nor did you want to lose the view for the bigger picture. A lot of things had went down back then, and not only Negan had made mistakes. ”You did those things in that night because of it and you didn’t even know she was pregnant”, you added, giving his hand another soft squeeze, “Not saying it was right but we all did shitty things back then that lead to a whole lot of deaths and destruction.” “Doesn’t change that I’m ultimately the one who made that kid fatherless.” His voice was rasp but harsh as he shook his head and moved his hand out of your grasp, running it down his face as he let out another deep sigh. “I don’t even fucking know how to feel about that myself”, he scoffed as he stared back down at the table,”But I sure as shit know that me delivering the hits in the end is all that counts to them”, “It shouldn’t...we’ve all taken the life of someone who was a loved one to someone else”, you mumbled after a moment of silence, starting to poke back into your food as if it would help you handle this while your voice became more tense,“Don’t wanna know how many kids ended up without a parent because of the things we did at that outpost or anywhere else.” “Well, thats not how anybody out there’s gonna see it.” “Yeah then it would be time to hold up a mirror for them”, you said, feeling the restlessness and anger Daryl had whirled up back at the woodhouse creep back up, “You know what Rick would’ve done with a group if that outpost had been ours and it had been our people that had been slaughtered in their sleep?” A heavy but trembling breath rumbled through your chest as you looked over at Negan, growing more agitated as you thickly gulped. “He surely wouldn’t have just killed two. Gracie’s only here and grows up to be Aaron’s daughter because Rick killed her birth father. Her mother was likely killed too when they attacked that other outpost during the war. It’s funny how no one ever talks about that”, the words just flowed out of your lips, fueled by the pent up desperation and even fear that had simmered within you, “So if anyone tries to make you look like a monster or whatever I won’t shy away anymore to repeat these things for them...Everybody has done horrible shit. You, Rick, everybody’s who’s inside these walls including me.” Negan didn’t even look up at you, he just kept staring at the table as you placed your fork next to the plate, almost letting it fall with a clatter against the ceramic as you felt the hunger leaving your body once for all, replaced by an upset feeling that was spreading through you and let you heat up. “I won’t just let Maggie or whoever else try to make them turn on you again after you’ve earned more trust”, you said, audibly stressed,”The trust that you deserve after ripping your ass off for them.” A thick sigh left your lips as you stared at Negan, just hoping he’d look up at you while the ugly mix of helplessness, fear and anger crawled further up your body and made pinch the bridge of your nose for a moment as you felt them taking you over. “I’m just sick of these fucking new things that always pop up when things seem to get better”, it left your lips more broken, trembling and yet angrier than before as Negan’s glance finally shot up to meet yours, though the icy stare within them was the opposite of what you had wished for. “Well then maybe you should reconsider being with me”, he scoffed, hitting you with shock and confusion as you furrowed your brows at him. “What kind of comment is that?” “’Cause this is how it’s always going to be”, he snapped, the pent up tension step for step breaking out if him as you still stared wide eyes at him,”We’ll never find our goddamn peace and all these people are always gonna hate me and the fact that we’re together.” “Not everybody hates you”,you quickly retorted, for now trying to push that shitty remark away from you and onto the fact that he was scared too,”There are people who’ve grown to trust you more and my colleagues at the infirmary are all good with you being out and working, and I’ll do my best to keep it this way.” “Well but those who are in higher positions do”, he let out, a bitter chuckle falling from his lips as he shook his head before his cold stare landed back onto you while his voice grew louder ,”Aaron was ready to execute my ass and he’d still do it just given the chance. Same fucking shit with Nora and Kyle. Those who spoke up against hanging me were Siddiq and Laura and they’re fucking dead now too. Maggie’s ready to slaughter my ass and your brother would be just fine with it as well. Things wont’t stay the same as they were during the last fucking days and it sure as shit won’t get better now.” Staring at him you let out another tight breath, still holding onto your last piece of hope despite your own fears as you gulped thickly and shook your head softly. “We can’t say that for sure. Gabriel’s more on our side. Maggie isn’t a member of the council and Daryl is already being more accepting of you than he was before-“ “Goddamnit (Y/N)”, Negan’s booming voice suddenly cut you off, loud enough to make you flinch and stare wide-eyed at him as he rose up from his chair and glared down at you,”Don’t you get it?!” Your heart started to pump harshly against your chest as his loud voice sounded through the room, and you could feel yourself becoming overwhelmed with the situation while you watched the anger in him skyrocketing. “What we had these last few damn days wasn’t real, we lived in that small fucking time bubble of delusion and we both knew it would burst as soon as Maggie’d walk through these fucking gates”, he was yelling by now, his voice so heavy it made his chest shake while you were starting to tremble and felt tears shooting into your eyes as you stared up at him, still too shocked and startled to say anything while his yelling voice hit you again,”This was us pretending. We’ll never have that kind of life.” Tears were blurring your view now as you meet his glance, pumped up with fright, anger and desperation as you let out an upset sound. “I’m just trying to not give up”, you scoffed, though your voice was breaking as you stood up from your spot and pushed the chair angrily against the table as you glared at your husband ,”And don’t you fucking yell at me.” The first tears were rolling down your face as you turned away from him and and stumped towards the kitchen door, trembling breaths leaving your lips as you brushed them off your cheeks, “Screw this.” You were shaking as you rushed up the stairs, your face crunched up in pain and covered with tears that were running down your skin as you could still hear his voice booming through your head. Negan never yelled at you. The last time you could remember him coming close to it was shortly after he got locked up, when helplessness and jealousy were eating him up. It had never happened again, not for all these years and the fact that it had happened now rattled you. He knew how much you hated being yelled at, he knew how much your past had sensitized you for it and you didn’t know how to handle Negan’s nor your your own emotions right now. You were both strained, both scared and it was your only explanation for his lash out. He could get loud, you’d seen it at the Sanctuary when he shut down Simon but he never lost control of himself during these moments. Not like now. When he yelled, he stayed under control and got back to business right after, so his lash out now, especially despite knowing how much you despised it was only proof of how scared and upset he truly was. This realization didn’t help though that the loudness of his voice and the cruelty of his words were pushing in on you as you let the door of your room fall with a loud thud into its lock and felt your emotions overwhelm you. Heated up and trembling more and more tears started to shoot back into your eyes and rolled down your face as you rounded the bed and plopped down onto your side, feeling the mattress giving slightly in below you as sniffles left your lips. You were scared, you were so unbelievably scared. Scared of losing everything you’d worked for with Negan, scared of not ever finding your peace and worst of all, scared of losing Negan to a vengeful Maggie who was out for blood. If anything, walking past the graveyard had made this ugly feeling of fright only grow and you could feel the things you’d tried to shut out for the last days rolling over you. Being scared of losing Negan after he saved Lydia. Living with the fear of not knowing if he was okay or even alive during the time he was gone. Being nearly poisoned with Dante’s water. Losing Siddiq. Constantly having to persuade others, especially Daryl, that Negan was up to good out there and wasn’t a threat, even during your time at the Hilltop. Finally getting Negan back and being glad to have him in safety and freedom only to have it threatened again with Maggie’s sudden reappearance merely two days later. You were exhausted. This all had happened in such a small time span and you were unable to process it properly, nor the fear that you were feeling right now. You were full on sobbing at this point, shaking and crouched over, with your elbows pressing into your thighs and your head buried into your hands that were practically soaked in your tears You couldn’t have her try to hurt or even kill him now only because he wasn’t in the cell anymore and stuck on the verge of taking his own life. You couldn’t keep on feeling so scared and worried all the time. You just wanted to find your peace. Slowly, you felt your body growing too exhausted to keep the sobs coming and instead, sniffles and small whimpers were only falling from your lips as you found yourself staring down at your wet hands, fumbling on them in a desperate try to distract yourself from your cruel thoughts. You weren’t even sure how much time exactly had passed since you’d stormed up here, your only indicator of time was the darkness that had by now taken up the firmament and the lamp on the nightstand you’d been forced to turn on, whose faint light was now falling onto you, your hands and the small diamonds of your wedding ring that glimmered in the light. You silenced yourself as well as you could for a moment to hear the rustling that was coming up from the kitchen and living room. Negan had been quiet for a whole long time down there and now you could hear him clearly moving around. A shivering breath left your lips, unsure of what you should expect to happen before you started to hear heavy footsteps coming up the stairs, slow but steady as they started to get closer to your room. Gulping thickly you finally heard the creaking of the door as it slowly opened, while you still sat there with your back turned to him as he moved inside and softly shut the door behind him. For just another moment it stayed silent, only the slight squeaking of the floorboards below Negan’s weight was audible before you heard him speak up. ”I’m sorry”, he said, his voice heavy with guilt, so much you could hear a tremble through it,”I didn’t mean to lash out like that...I don’t know what’s going on with me, I-” He broke off, a shivering sigh filling his lips as you could hear him making a few, slow and careful steps towards the bed before he stopped again. ”You were just trying and I went full asshole...I-...I shouldn’t have yelled at you. That was a fucking dick move...I’m sorry, I really am.” You didn’t look up yet, you were still fumbling on your hands, though you could tell that he meant it, you just didn’t know how to behave either. “I get it if you don’t wanna talk or want me to fuck off”, he breathed out, his voice still slightly trembling as he let out another sigh,”I do, I-” With the shaking of your head he halted quickly, growing silent again as you let out a small sigh. You didn’t want to fight with him. That really was the very last thing. You just wanted to talk it out and get all the shit you both had off your chests. In the end, you knew this all had only happened because you were both scared to death and while you knew that this wouldn’t just vanish you couldn’t have this fear hurt your relationship. Slowly, you watched Negan round the bed from the corner of your eye, halting shortly before he got to you and gestured towards the spot next to you. ”Can I?” A nod of yours was enough to make Negan sit down beside you, a thick sigh falling from his lips as you could feel his glance swaying over you. The lump in your throat was quick to grow bigger again as you bit your lip and felt tears starting to fill your eyes as you finally glimpsed up at him. “I just want this fucking nightmare to end”, you said, your voice shivering and weak as your glance met his eyes that were bleary and slightly reddened as well ,”once one thing is done the next shit’s waiting for us. I hate this and I fucking hate having to have this goddamn discussion over and over again.” A heavy sigh fell from your lips as you brushed the dampness off your cheeks, sadly sure that you’d soon feel new tears running over them while your voice started to break as soon as you spoke back up again, “I don’t want Maggie to whirl everything back up and mess things up for us.” With knitted brows and sad eyes Negan glimpsed at you, pressing his lips onto one another before a stressed sound fell from his mouth. “I don’t know about the latter one but I’m sure she’s gonna whirl things up again”, he sighed, stroking over his beard while a thick gulp travelled down his throat,”Wish I could say otherwise.” You softly nodded as you could feel the tears in your eyes welling over, just in the very moment Negan reached up to stroke over your back, gently while you could tell that he was trying to hold his tears back. “But she can’t just walk in here and play boss..she’s been through a lot and that’s horrible but as soon as she’s back everybody acts as if she’s the center of the universe. Her pain isn’t more important than the one of others”, you let out, sniffling as you could feel yourself falling back into that hole of fear and panic that made you rattled and got you to all worked up again. “Carol has gone through losing a child far more than once, Michonne lost Carl and Rick, and Judith and to grow up without them”, you said, hot tears streaming down your face as it crunched up in pain and your voice grew shakier with every breath,”I’ve seen my damn family being ripped apart all at once, and you had to watch when that goddamn cancer killed Lucille.” You could see Negan nodding, could see a single tear rolling down your face as you sniffled and breathed sharply in, trying to keep your voice up even though the lump in your throat kept on growing. “Nobody’s expecting her to forgive or forget but she doesn’t get to make decisions about you, not after she just fucked off for six years and just came back cause that other community got screwed over”, you said, trying to keep talking in between the shaky breaths that shook through you before your fear took hold of you once for all and you could feel it breaking out of you as the stinging pain made itself a home inside your head. “I’m trying to see things positive but I...I’m scared”, you breathed out, your face twisting in pain as you felt yourself choking up,”I’m so so fucking scared.” You gasped for air as you could feel the thick lump in your throat keep on pressing in on you, felt the skin under your eyes becoming sore from the tears while Negan moved in, stopping his movements over your back to wrap his arm around your waist and pull you closer. “I’m scared that she’ll try to make them turn on you again and hurt you, I’m scared that I she’ll try to kill-”,your voice broke off, stopped by the sobs that started to shake through you again ,”I’m so scared of losing you, I-“ You broke completely off at that point, only able to cry now and let it all out instead of saying anything more. Negan moved in to hold your shaking body closer, grasp our legs to swing them over his lap and bring you into his embrace. You could feel him shaking too, could feel his heavy breaths and the harsh falling and rising of his chest as he cradled you against his body. You buried your head into the curve of his neck, just for once allowing all the pain and fear to flow out of your body with the sobs that erupted through you. You clung onto him as if you’d risk to lose him if you’d let go, sniffling and crying until your head was buzzing while Negan tightened his grasp on you and pressed a soft kiss against your temple. “I won’t let it come that far”, he mumbled against your skin, his voice strained though he did his best to keep it up ,”I got no damn clue how our life’s gonna turn out but I’m a tough motherfucker, right? I won’t die. I even survived those skin freaks.” He let out a shaky chuckle, audibly trying to keep his shit together for you within these moments though you deep down knew that he’d break down too. Your sobs grew quieter again and turned back into sniffles as you held onto him, desperately trying to believe his words before you slowly moved back, just enough to look at him and see the tears that were also burning in his eyes. Sniffling, you moved your hands to cup his face, stroking your thumbs over his wetted cheeks and his stubble while his bleary eyes ran over you and his arms were still keeping you close. A thick sigh left his lips as he lowered his glance for a moment, gulping thickly before he glimpsed back up at you and shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know how to feel”, he mumbled, tears still filling his eyes up to the rim. “I feel so fucking odd...some guilt, I-”,he breathed, stopping as he shook his head and the first tears started to fall down his cheeks again,”I had so much time to think about the shit I did back then, how fucking wrong I saw things, I-...I know we’ve been through this when I hit rock bottom in that cell but...” He pressed his lips onto one another before they fell open with another shivering sigh and his teary eyes fell back on you,”There are still moments when I ask myself how you were even able to fall in love with me back then.” You could feel your heart breaking all over again as you looked at your husband, tearing up again as you stroked the tears softly off his cheeks and gulped thickly. “I already saw the man in you that you are right now”, you mumbled, sniffling as Negan’s brows knitted again and it looked like something hit him just in this moment. New tears started to roll down his cheeks as a small whimper fell from his lips and you leaned closer, sure to have him look at you. “You’re sweet, and you’re loving and protective and the world just screwed with you and made you believe that you couldn’t keep others alive without this shit”, you mumbled, brushing your thumbs again over his wetted cheeks,”But you did your best to get your head on straight.” “I just, I know what it’s like to grow up without a Dad and I-”, he mumbled with trembling lips,”I don’t know what to fuckin’ think or feel or-” “That’s okay”,you said as you could hear his voice break off,”You don’t need to put a finger on that.” Negan slowly nodded, lowering his glance for a moment as he let out a shivering breath and wrapped his arms tighter around you. “But there was no way for you to know”, you added, a feeling within you urging you to make sure that he knew that despite everything,”You didn’t deliberately kill a kid’s father. Fuck, you didn’t go for Rick that night because of Carl.” Negan’s glance was still lowered as you gulped and shifted slightly. “I know what happened was shit, I-”,you started, trying to just keep Negan from falling into that hole again that was threatening to eat him up ,”Regardless of what happened that night, you did everything in your power to show that you’re good at heart. You can’t make the past unhappen but you can change the present, and you have.” A sniffling fell from Negan’s lips as he glimpsed back up at you, yet another tear falling down his face as you leaned in closer to him. “You have”, you assured with another nod, leaning in to press a delicate kiss over his lips, allowing it to linger for a moment and let Negan melt against you before you backed just enough off to look at him and saw the doubt that was still filling his face. “I’m not sure if it’s enough, or if it matters-”, he broke off, his face scrunching up again as you let go of his face and instead wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him into a hug. Just like it had happened with you before, it was breaking out of Negan now and you could feel your emotions overwhelming you all over again as you heard your husband’s sobs that broke your heart and made that stinging pain shoot through you once more. Holding onto each other you sat on the bed, just letting it all out. Just like the both of you actually needed to. During the past time it had nearly always been either one of you trying to be strong for the other as they broke down and now the both of you just held onto each other and allowed yourselves to feel your emotions hit you with all their force. It hurt, it hurt like hell but deep down you both knew that you needed this to unburden you, to free yourselves at least from the pressure and pain that had been weighing down on you for too long. It didn’t know how long you sat there like that on the bed, for you long you held on to each other until the sobs and whimpers got silent and you were just cuddled up against one another. Breathing deeply through you felt Negan cradling you against his body, pressing another kiss against your temple, still remaining quiet for a moment before he spoke up, his voice still strained. “Does that offer for a bath still stand?”, he asked, backing slightly away, just enough to look at you and move his hand up to wipe the last bit of remaining wetness of your cheeks,”I think we could use that.” Slowly, you nodded, taking only another moment before you moved your legs off his lap and stood up, groaning slightly as you needed to feel your body adjusting to standing again after remaining in nothing else but an embryo position for the last while. Negan moved up as well, stretching his long limbs before he grasped your hand and moved it up to place a kiss on its back, giving you another loving look before he lead you towards the bathroom.

Hot water quickly started to pelt into the bathtub and filled it up step by step, while Negan moved towards the cabinet by the sinks, to look for some bath oils or bombs before he looked up into the mirrors and let out a strained chuckle. “Fuck we both look puffed up like a baboon’s ass”, he mumbled, looking from the mirror back at you as you let out a small laugh, seeing your mirror image that looked just like you expected. Your eyes were red and puffy, already a little less swollen than they must have been back at the bed but still more than enough to know how long the both of you had sat there and let your emotions take themselves out on you. Negan let out a small groan as he crouched down to move through the stuff in the cabinet, pushing a couple bottles of shampoo to the side before he got a look at the bathing supplies and eventually pulled a bathbomb out that was a wild swirled mix of blue and purple. “This one’s with lavender”, he said, getting back on his feet as he held it up for you,”Think we could use some of that calming shit, huh?” You quickly nodded, very much agreeing with him on this. Your head was still buzzing, clearly exhausted by all the crying and you could need something as calming as the scent of lavender to soothe you a little. Moving back towards you Negan plopped the little ball into the water, quickly seeing it go out in all of its color variety as it spread through the water that kept on streaming into the tub. “Looks like unicorn puke”, Negan joked, nodding towards the lilac water and the bubbles the spread over its surface and got bigger and bigger with every passing moment. “Yeah, it does...doesn’t smell like it tho”, you mumbled with a small chuckle back, slowly freeing yourself from the shroud of exhaustion the while in the bedroom had put on you. Things obviously still weren’t the way you both wanted them, but you felt a little less bottled up and tense, and most importantly less burdened after giving your emotions the valve they needed. ”And it has surprise bubbles. That’s nice”, you added, nodding towards the bubbles that had by now taking in all of the surface while Negan nodded with a crooked grin and started to peel the clothes off his body. “C’mon let’s get outta that shit”, he grumbled as he pulled his shirt over his head and pushed his pants down his hips while you started to do the same, peeling yourself out of your clothes step by step until you could only feel the warm bathroom air covering your skin. Groaning, Negan crouched a little down and leaned over to shut the tap off and dip his hand into the bathwater, testing it before he looked with a small grin over his shoulder “Don’t wanna burn my dick.” “Yeah I can’t have that”, you teased back, bringing the grin on his face to widen a little and bring some warmth back into you after seeing him so devastated all evening long. “It’s good though, we can get in”, he mumbled before he carefully stepped into the water and let out a satisfied groan as soon as he lowered his body into the tub and stretched his hand out for you to join him. Quickly, you took it, moving in and feeling the warmth of the water surrounding your feet before you lowered yourself to sink in between Negan’s legs. “This is nice”, you mumbled as the warm water and its soothing scent started to surround you and Negan moved in to gently pull you against his wet chest. His arms wrapped around you as he nuzzled his nose into the curve of your neck and breathed deeply out, cradling you softly while it got quiet again and a silence set in. You didn’t break it, didn’t fall back with him into your usual goofiness that you’d have in these moments but instead, just closed your eyes and enjoyed his closeness, his warmth and the hot water. That was all that you needed right now, a break of everything that was currently happening around you and a relief of the ordeal you’d both put yourselves through this evening, and for once, it felt like you were truly able to focus and think about nothing else but this bath and the man who was holding you in his arms. You just remained like that with him, only feeling him scooping some water over your shoulders and arms from time to time or drawing small, lazy patterns over your skin with his fingers, though mostly, you just laid cuddled up to each other within the water’s warmth. You enjoyed it, all of it, Negan’s touches, the soothing scent and the hotness of the water until it started to grow cold and you switched it for the warmth of the bed. Held by Negan, with your back pressed against his chest and his arms wrapped around you you found yourself laying underneath the sheets, feeling him nuzzling his nose against your neck while your fingers softly and lightly brushed over his arm, just as he liked it. You were still soothing one another, still trying to reassure one another that you’d figure things out along the way, step by step no matter what the world would throw at you, just like you had always done. With a sleepy sigh you felt Negan adjusting himself a little, pressing a delicate kiss against the side of your neck before he interrupted the caresses of your fingers and moved his arm up, just enough for his hand to gently grasp your face and make you look at him in the faint moon light that streamed into the room. “We got each other, always”, he mumbled as his thumb softly stroked over your cheek and his drowsy eyes softened as he glanced down at you,”No matter what happens. No matter who tries to fuck with us...we got each other.”

#Negan #twd #the walking dead #negan fic #negan imagine #twd imagine #negan x reader #the walking dead imagine #negan imagines #negan fics #negan angst #twd 10x18 #negan's network #nts #negan series #twd imagines #thewalkingdead-imagines #negan fluff

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sometimes-love-is-enough · 4 years

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re: your last ask about the time travel shenanigans—holy fuck yes please more of this. like, not only is it funny as hell, which i appreciate, but it's also a. more c!thomas and b. points to just how interestingly both the plot and characters of this series have grown over the years and i am ALL for it

"Janus!" is the first thing Thomas exclaims when he sees the Side Formerly Known Exclusively As Deceit rise up where Logan would usually stand. Which just might be a mistake, if Janus’s expression is anything to go by.

Okay, in Thomas's defence -

This is a really, really weird day, even by his standards. Because, like, Logan's currently standing in front of the stairs, and that's not where Logan's supposed to be, and his shirt and tie are all wrong. And had had been grinning. Openly. He had been openly grinning when Thomas had first woken up and looked in his wardrobe and realized that his favorite t-shirt apparently doesn't exist anymore and all his clothes are a half-size smaller than he's used to but also they still fit and - okay, no, back to Logan. He'd gone downstairs and tripped over a chair that wasn't supposed to be there and called out Logic. And he'd been about to ask him what's going on and why everything feels so off and also why Logan's standing in Virgil's usual spot instead of over to the right of the stairs. But then he'd noticed all the aforementioned Very Weird Clothing Things. And he'd stopped and said, "Uh, Logan?" and Logan's grin had dropped and he'd stared at Thomas for a full ten seconds then whispered, "what the fuck," with great emotion.

And then Patton had shown up with a ridiculous amount of pun-riddled cheerfulness that Thomas had been able to clock as sixty-percent fake within about half a second. And his clothes had been all wrong, too, and after a lot of confused, borderline-incomprehensible yelling at each other, Roman had showed up and added to the chaos.

"I am scared and confused and on the verge of completely losing it!" Thomas had declared at some point, which had been the cue for an ominous music sting somewhere to Thomas's right that made everybody jolt in terrified unison.

"Did somebody say scared and confused and on the verge of completely losing it?"

"Virgil, thank god!" Thomas had practically yelled, and just about thrown himself across the room to get to him - before pausing midway and allowing his brain to process... wrong hoodie. Wrong amount of eyeshadow. "Wait. No, hang on, is this - "

"FUCKING WHO," Virgil shrieked, leaping backwards half a flight of stairs, which had led to another round of confused yelling, with Thomas trying to assure them all that he's fine he hasn't had some sort of strange head injury or whatever, he's just really happy to see Virgil and no of course that's not weird, what do you mean who's Virgil, that's Virgil right over there, Roman please put down that sword things are already out of hand -

And at some point Thomas had got it into his head that the most reasonable course of events was to summon the one person who always seems to know everything that everybody else doesn't, which brings everything up to speed, more or less. Roman had gone, "Thomas, what are you doing," and Thomas, feeling slightly manic at this point, had said, "I'm trying to summon a demon, obviously," because the best way to get hold of a certain someone probably is blatant lying, and boom, instant Janus.

"Jeee-sus Christ on a cookie-shaped canoe, what is he doing here?!"

"Janus!"

So, Janus pops up, he looks literally the same as he always has (except maybe with shorter hair? Wait, they all have shorter hair, including Thomas, wait a second -) with his half-snake-face and his hat and gloves that cosy-looking capelet of his. And although his expression reflects faint bewilderment and that very particular 'wait, what' emotion that results in being pulled abruptly away from something you were busy with, he looks so normal that Thomas thinks for a moment he might be the only sane person left.

But then Janus makes a series of start-and-stop noises of incomprehension, and gestures wildly towards Virgil, who's crouched midway up on the stairs behind Logan, looking like a cornered wild animal, and snaps, "Why for the love of everything that's holy would you tell him my name?"

"You think this is me?" Virgil retorts, hands going up to grab desperately at the bars lining the side of the staircase. "I don't understand anything that's going on! He somehow knows my name! He's - he's being nice to me!"

It suddenly occurs to Thomas that this might just possibly be a time travel sort of thing. It would explain the clothes shift. And the altered layout of his house. And the fact that when he'd checked his phone this morning it had told him it was 2016, and also it hadn't been his phone, it had been the one he'd broken a few years ago in a tragic piano-moving-related accident.

...Okay, yeah, this is absolutely a time travel thing.

"Is somebody going to explain why Thomas ruined all of our heartfelt name reveal moments in one fell swoop?" Roman demands. "I thought we agreed we were going to do them gradually and draw them out as long as possible for dramatic effect!"

"I agreed to none of that," Virgil snaps from his position halfway up the stairs.

"Yes," says Logan, "yes, I think we all would like to know what's going on. Thomas? What's going on?"

"Uh - " Thomas, who has just come to a rather startling realization about time travel and also about how shitty his Sides' taste in costumes were pre-wardrobe change, doesn't really have a prepared answer for this. "I have... I am - I just - "

Thomas struggles for words. Really struggles. And everyone's just standing there, watching him with expressions that range from terror to confusion to suspicion, and they all look so weirdly young in a way that's hard to pin down. It's the clothes. It's probably the clothes, or maybe it's the way they hold themselves. Roman, carelessly confident, without a doubt in the world. Patton, still wearing a fixed dad-grin, politely baffled and looking back and forth. Logan, who hasn't been systematically beaten down and pushed back over the course of many, many years. Virgil, who's basically just a ball of grey-and-black anger and acerbic anger at this point. Janus, who's... Janus. Who's looking at him in a way that Janus has never looked at him before.

And Remus is probably lurking somewhere in the back of his mind, too, doing whatever Remus does, and - would Remus be any different now, four years prior? Thomas hadn't had any significant problems with intrusive thoughts, not back then... or, well, back now. Maybe he's calmer, maybe Thomas could actually talk with him. Try to work something out, try to understand.

But wait, he's still got to give the Sides right here and right now an answer.

Hm.

...Thomas has been through a lot in the past four years. Not, like, fantasy protagonist a lot, but more like a extended psychological journey of self-discovery and mental health crises. Now, he wouldn't trade any of this for the world, because he's learned a hell of a lot about himself in the process - but also? The Sides have put him through a lot of horrifying realization-type things.

Which is why he absolutely one hundred percent deserves to do what he's about to do next.

"I," says Thomas, with an extraordinary amount of confidence and self-assuredness, "am psychic."

And the dead silence holds. Now even Patton is staring at him in disbelief. Janus has graduated into outright horror, his face twisted up into a oh god no I am somehow responsible for letting him delude himself this far expression.

"Thomas!" Roman gasps, almost instantly lighting up with genuine enthusiasm. "Oh, Thomas, I'm so proud, we've been working on this for years. Tell me, does this extend to telekinesis, or just somehow knowing all our names and nothing else?"

"What?" Janus says. "What - no. No, you can't seriously be going along with this - what? That... what? That doesn't even make any sense?" He turns wildly from left to right, and - okay, it's very enjoyable to see him out of his depth, to be perfectly honest. Thomas likes Janus a lot, knows he has his best interests at heart, but the whole courtroom thing had been a major dick move. This is satisfying. "Are any of you getting this? Does anyone here understand what's going on?"

"I'm psychic," Thomas repeats doggedly. "I acquired magical psychic powers and now I know all of your names and tragic backstories. Surprise! I unlocked my full potential and the ninety-percent of my brain power that I wasn't using."

"That's - that's a widely-perpetuated and wildly incorrect myth," Logan says weakly.

"Nope. Turns out it's true, and I was only using ten percent of it, and now that I've gone full big-brain, I know that Patton's repressing all his bad feelings because he doesn't want to bother anyone with them, Virgil acts all scary and menacing because he thinks it's the only way that I'll ever listen to him, and Janus is secretly a huge dork with a heart of gold - uh, yellow, I guess."

"How dare you," Janus breathes, looking horrified.

"Wha - " Patton suddenly looks very pale indeed.

"Also, Roman, you're my hero; Logan, please never stop smiling like that ever again, it's literally my favorite thing in the world and if you ever stop being enthusiastic about teaching me things I will cry - and Virgil, I love you."

Virgil lets out a choked little noise like he's just been punched directly in the stomach.

"I love all of you," Thomas adds, an afterthought. "I never say that enough. Janus, that goes for you as well. You're right, I need to take care of myself more."

"I'm - " Janus is still looking around at everyone in complete disbelief, but now his gaze fixes onto Thomas, his eyes wide. "I'm what?"

Thomas is now on a roll. An extremely cathartic sort of roll. "And Remus -"

Everybody immediately panics. Virgil and Logan's hands both immediately leap up to clasp over their mouths, which seems to be a reflexive reaction on Janus's behalf. Patton lets out a deranged-sounding high pitched giggle that edges into genuine hysteria.

"Brother? What brother? I don't know what a brother is!" Roman says loudly. "I've never had a brother in my life! Thomas, your glorious psychic powers are malfunctioning. Have you tried turning them off and turning them on again?"

" - I'm not going to lie and say I love him, but -" Thomas stops abruptly, and staggers backwards to catch himself on the couch as a thought strikes him out of literally nowhere. "Son of a bitch -"

"Does being psychic make you swear a lot?" Patton asks weakly. "Because, uh. Not sure I like this side of you, kiddo - "

"Logan," says Thomas. "Logan, what's the date today? This is so, so important, what's the date."

"It's... October," Logan says, very slowly. "October twentieth. 2016?"

"Holy shit," Thomas whispers, and then says it louder, "holy shit. Okay, listen. I was going to sort out all of our collective psychological issues in one impressive emotional speedrun, but I've realized we have something much more important to do." He pauses, and takes in a very deep, shuddering breath. "Guys. We can save Vine. Excuse me. I've just realized I’ve got to make a lot of calls."

#storytime #timeswap au #asks #please note that everything in my storytime tag is (by definition) rushed and unedited content and this is no exception #that being said. enjoy.#character!thomas #roman sanders #virgil sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #janus sanders #sad to announce that remus is once again not here :(#Anonymous

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sugurus-slxt · 3 years

Text

are you tired of this? - Iwaizumi

Type: angst (happy ending)

Warnings: cursing, mentions of mental illness

Note: Y’all are married in this story and um I’m not so if I mess up well I sincerely apologize

Hope you guys enjoy the story

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Thursday [11:15 p.m.]

“I just came home a little late what’s the fucking problem?” He shouted at you for the second time tonight. “I didn’t say there was a problem Haji. I just wanted to know what came up,” you spoke softly trying to keep a calm composure. The truth was your insides were shaking, every possible bad thought that you could think of hurtled at you over and over. You were just worried something had happened to him, your anxiety had calmed since he came home but it seems you had made one wrong move and here you were. “And I already told you the boss needed me to do some extra paperwork to take in some new trainees,” he spoke harshly but a bit calmer than before. He pinched his nose bridge between his fingers. “I’m not having an argument with you right now, forget it. I’m going to shower,” he turned to walk away from you but you grabbed his hand.

He turned to face you, “What!” He exclaimed loudly making you nearly jump out of your skin. “The dinner i-its getting cold… umm do you want me to heat it up?” You asked hoping he’d calm down, but it seems tonight was different he just got even angrier. He grabbed your wrist tightly, “What the fuck do you think? Dammit all you do is worry and cry! Now you don’t even have common sense. Sometimes I wonder why …” he stopped, words dying in his throat. Tear welled in your eyes; it didn’t take a genius to figure out what he was going to say. Forgetting the pain of him squeezing your wrist, you shouted at him for the first time tonight, “Say it! Say it Hajime!” He stood mouth hanging open, not one word. You couldn’t hold back the tears that streamed down your face. There wasn’t one emotion but instead too many, everything you’ve bottled tonight had busted like a dam.

You tore away from his grip, every inch of anxiety, depression, panic, all the emotions were pouring out of you in tears, sobs and every word you cried out next. “What! You don’t know why you married me? Huh? Is that it Iwaizumi? Well I’m so sorry I worry about my husband ok? I’m sorry that I can’t control when I get depressed. I’m sorry that every day I pray for you to return home safe. Tell what else you wonder about me! Tell me!” You pushed him as hard as you could. “Do you really wanna know what I think because I don’t think you can handle it,” he asked in a scarily calm tone. You knew you weren’t prepared for what came next but your emotions clouded your judgement. Neither of you meant anything you said, you knew that. Well you hoped because you know you hadn’t meant any of it. Every fiber in your body loved this man but tonight you weren’t backing down even if it meant you’d get hurt. “Go ahead!” You shouted pushing him again.

“Dammit stop pushing me! I’ll tell you but don’t blame me because you asked for it,” he never backed down. He knew that would be best right now but he didn’t care today was hard and he was just mad that you couldn’t get that. “You cry too much. You worry much. You get things wrong all the damn time. Something as simple as cleaning the house can end up in a disaster. I am always fixing you fucking messes. Not to mention you are so childish. For fucks sake grow up. Sometimes I wonder why I married you yeah ok because I’m so sick of this,” he stopped, he wasn’t shouting but his tone was angry as he belted out everything he though was wrong. “Haji- I,” you didn’t know what to say. Everything had gone numb. You thought that he didn’t mean it, but he seems so serious so calm. It was scary, it was as if he knew he wanted to say this for a while. May he was tired of you, tired of this, was he going to leave you. He continued but his voice softened, “Sometimes I just want to scream. I get off all of my steam hitting that punching bag till it breaks but nothing helps like letting it out but I’m not mad. I really am not. I'm frustrated and I’m tired. So tired angel. So fucking tired” He hung is head looking at the ground and you looked at him but you just couldn’t see him clearly, the tears blurring your vision as you asked the scariest question of them all, “Are you tired of this? Tired of us?”

He just gave out a sad chuckle and you caught it somehow, in the moment you caught it, the tear that fell on the ground. You’ve never seen him cry. This was different for Iwa and you just looked at him as he sat leaned against the wall. You tried drying your tears and went and sat cross-legged next to him on the floor, looking at the ground as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. The silence was deafening but it didn’t stay like that for long. “Tired of this? Yes Tired of us? Never,” he said softly. Your head shot up, “So you’re not leaving?” He turned and wiped the remaining tears from your cheek and smiled with his tear stained face,” I could never leave you” He smiled it was warm and genuine.

“I wouldn’t rather do any of this with anyone else. Even if we are fighting. It's ok to make mistakes. It's ok to cry. It's ok to be sad, to be worried or to feel to not do anything. I know this isn’t easy for you. In fact I wasn’t even mad at you tonight, I was never mad at you to begin with. It’s just… ” He says cupping your check and stroking it with his thumb. Your wide eyes held anticipation, “T-thank y-you for saying that. And thank you for b-being honest with me. Even if you said it didn’t make you mad, I- I still want to try for you but Haji I know there’s more so p-please tell me,” you pleaded stuttering in between.

He moved his hand from your cheek and rested them on his knees as he turned to look straight ahead. “I was mad at myself because I always seem to mess up. I –I promised to make you happy, keep you safe and healthy but it seems like I always cause your despair or make your bad days worse. I make you cry, I don’t spend enough time with you. Babe you’re a trophy wife but I don’t think I’m you’re trophy husband. Hah maybe I should have let shittykawa have you all those years ago. I’m sure he’d always make you smile. Gosh… that beautiful smile. B-baby I-I’m so… so …sorry,” he broke down sobbing into his hands. You couldn’t believe it, all this time you thought that you were hurting him and always messing up but he was thinking the same. You huddled closer to him placing the words together on you head.

“Now you listen to me and let me finish o-ok H-haji,” he raised his head to look at you, tears still spilling out of his eyes, you bent forward and kissed them away and he smiled just a bit. “I love you. Only you are ok. Sure I cry, sure I worry and yes it’s about you but it’s because I love you. I’m going to do that no matter how the day turns out. God dammit you could be with me and I still worry because I never want to lose you. My depression and anxiety are always going to affect me but I always rest happily at night because you wrap me in your strong arms and tell me just what I need to hear. You make me feel like the most special girl in the world. Not a day goes by that there isn’t at least one happy moment for me and that is because of you Haji. And never give me to Oikawa. I will kill you myself if you do,” both of you giggle a bit, “You are the only one for me. The only one can make me happy. You are perfect for me in every way possible. I love you so much,” your cheeks are flushed and eyes puffy but you smile not because he needs it but because even now you’re happy with him. He bends over pulling you into a tight hug, “Thank you. Thank you. Gosh I love you so much. I’m supposed to be making you feel better but still thank you,” he buries his face in your nape. You whisper, “You already did.”

You both sat there for a bit just enjoying each other’s warm embrace. He finally rises up and lifts you along with him. “Let’s go take a warm shower together. We can eat dinner and maybe watch a movie. Maybe cuddle too. No definitely cuddle I think we need that. Ok with you baby?” He looks down at you for a response, “Of course I’d never say no to cuddles but don’t you have work tomorrow?” You ask heart-warmed by his gestures. “Nope. Not anymore. I’m taking a day off. I’m spending it with you. I’m gonna make you smile all day and we can talk about everything but tonight just enjoy each other,” he said kissing your forehead. “If you’re sure. I’m so lucky to have you. I love you so so much,” you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him down for a kiss. His lips molded against yours perfectly, moving in sync. You break the kiss, hiding your red cheeks in his chest. “Hmmm. Six years and years with me and you still get flustered. How cute?” he chuckles to himself. “Hey it’s not my fault my husband is practically a Greek god.” He sets you down and pulls you into a hug, “And yes I’m sure. I’m just as lucky to have you, I love you my goddess.” You both spend the night just bathing in each other’s company and love.

You guys can leave me suggestions or request. I hope you enjoyed it. :)

If you liked this maybe you might want to buy me a coffee?

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marshmallow-phd · 3 years

Text

Healing Touch

Part of The Untamed - EXO Wolf Universe

Genre: Wolf!AU

Pairing: Yixing x Reader

Summary: Medical school abroad was the last line on your to-do list before starting the rest of your life. Everything was going according to plan. Everything, that is, until tragedy strikes your campus. In the wake of a professor’s untimely death, you’re partnered with the cute boy with a breathtaking smile in the newly combined labs. You find yourself unable to resist the dimples and shy glances, but his life is here with no plans of leaving. Will you continue on as planned or will you accept the hand that Fate had dealt you?

Part: 1 I 2 I 3 I 4 I 5 I 6 I 7 I 8 I 9 I 10 I Final

Yixing knew that he needed to get out of the car. The engine still rumbled, giving away his presence. Inside the farmhouse, the others were waiting for him so they could carry out the “family meeting”. Yixing already knew what it was about. And he still hadn’t made up his mind on how – or even if – he was going to tell his pack that this whole situation might be his fault.

Seeing the front door open, Yixing cut the engine and jumped out. Baekhyun poked his head out the screen door. “Are you coming? Junmyeon’s started pacing!”

“Yeah, I’m coming,” Yixing murmured as he kicked his car door shut.

So many doors. So much opening and closing. And the most important one he’d slammed shut himself. He could still see the dejected look on your face more clearly than the steps in front of him. Why did he have to be like this? So noble and overly righteous? He had his mate in his hands and he pushed you away. He needed to keep you safe – but was distance really the right way to do that?

Everyone else was already squished into the living room. There wasn’t much space in this area of the house, which was why they usually had meetings in the kitchen. Junmyeon must have been determined that no one be distracted by food or other easily reachable items.

Said alpha gave Yixing a very pointed look as the latter made his way to the back of the room, squeezing in between Chanyeol and Minseok against the wall.

“Everything okay?” Minseok asked quietly. Yixing nodded, but Chanyeol still threw a concerned glance his way.

“Alright, now that everyone is here,” again with the classic scolding Junmyeon glance, “we need to have a serious talk. There was another attack-”

“Another one!” Jongin exclaimed. His mouth hung on its hinges as he glanced around the room.

“Yes. Thankfully, this one survived. And he might have seen the wolf that attacked him.”

Chatter broke out among the wolves. Some where ecstatic at the possibility of finally knowing who this killer might be. Others were thankful that the man survived. Guesses bounced around about what this rouge wolf could look like. Baekhyun enjoyed the idea of it being a bear-like wolf, larger than even Chanyeol or – he’d stopped himself before he said another name that would shift the mood of the room in a flash.

“Nah, I bet its weak and sickly,” Jongdae interjected.

“Red fur?”

“No, those are rare.”

“I bet it’s blonde and shrimpy like Jongdae.”

“Watch it, Sehun.”

The chatter grew, even with Junmyeon’s insistence that they quiet down. So many voices piled on top of each that finally Yixing couldn’t take their theories anymore.

“It was a gray wolf.”

Despite Yixing’s neutral and low tone, the rest of the pack heard. Immediate silence. All eyes turned to him in confusion. He kept his arms crossed over his chest with his own gaze down on the floor.

“That’s a boring guess,” Sehun grumbled.

“Its not a guess,” Yixing admitted. “That’s what the man said at the hospital.”

Junmyeon stared hard at Yixing. “How do you know that’s the man said?” Lifting his eyes up, Yixing hardened his features. Under his arms, his fists curled tightly, his nails digging into the skin with a dull pain. He’d opened another door. And he didn’t think he could close this one again. Junmyeon sighed. “Everyone out.”

Everyone was reluctant to move.

“Now!”

Feet scrambled and tripped over one another as everyone but Yixing ran out of the room and to the kitchen. Junmyeon hated being forceful like that, having to raise his voice at the others. It was no surprise that he immediately melted back into a calmer state.

“Yixing…” came his steady, yet authoritative voice. “Tell me everything. Please.”

Yixing took a deep breath. It was better this way. He hoped.

“I’ve been blacking out.”

“What?”

“They started around the same time the attacks did,” Yixing explained. “Sometimes I get a headache first. Sometimes it just happens. I lose time – hours usually. And then within that time, there’s an attack.” He could feel his throat closing in. It was more devastating than he’d pictured – telling the truth. He feared his pack turning on him, putting the blame on him, even if it was rightfully done. He’d always been the odd one out, the wolf with a different ancestry. He used to have others to relate to, but when they left….

“Have you ever woken up with blood on you?” Junmyeon asked cautiously.

“No.” A small miracle. There was one time, but he’d found the poor rabbit just a few feet away and the smells matched.

“There could be another explanation for this,” Junmyeon insisted.

Yixing wanted to believe him, but there was other evidence against the hope. “He said it was a gray wolf.”

“Its not that uncommon of a color.”

“But he was attacked right during another one of my blackouts.”

“And where were you?”

“I was in the forest. Running. Alone.”

Junmyeon frowned. “Why were you doing that?”

Yixing shrugged. “I was… happy. Things were going in a good direction with Ming. I just needed to let the energy out and I wanted to be alone….”

“And then a blackout?”

Yixing nodded. “I woke nearby. (Y/n) was the one who had found him. I’d heard her screaming. We took him to the hospital and then I saw (y/n) home.”

“Did you talk to the police?”

“Yeah. All I told them was that I was in the area next to the nature center and heard (y/n) scream.”

“They didn’t think it was odd that you were naked?”

Yixing cringed, embarrassed. “I had my pants on, (y/n) gave me her jacket-” his jacket - “so they didn’t question it.”

“And (y/n)?”

“I doubt she fully believed my hiking story.”

Junmyeon let out a full lung’s worth of a sigh. His shoulders were weighted down by the pressure to keep their existence a secret and also take care of his pack. Would he outcast Yixing to protect the rest? Yixing wanted to cling to the hope that that wouldn’t be the case, but there was always a chance.

Stepping forward, Junmyeon placed a hand on Yixing’s shoulder. A smile, strained but reassuring, crept on his face. “We’ll figure this out. I don’t believe it’s you, but something bigger might be happening. Don’t go through this alone anymore, okay?”

As expected, a rumbling off footsteps shook the floor. Seven pairs arm wrapped around Junmyeon and Yixing.

“Why didn’t you tell us sooner?” Baekhyun whined.

“We could have helped you,” Chanyeol jumped in.

“You don’t have to do this alone,” Minseok agreed.

Yixing smiled, but said nothing. He still wasn’t sure if he’d made the right decision in revealing his condition. There was no telling what lied at the end of this road – either Yixing would be free to live his life with you or he would be outcast from the pack with a heavy conscious.

“Did I miss something?”

All heads snapped to the front parlor. Ji Yeon stood in the entryway with a coffee cup in one hand and her laptop bag in the other. Small chuckles echoed around the room as the group shifted away from each other. Even Yixing gave off a short laugh. It was a nice release, but now that meant Ji Yeon would need to be made aware of the current situation, adding to Yixing’s fear. As Minseok shuffled closer to his mate, Yixing slipped out of the room, wondering when he would be able to be close to his own mate again.

It was one thing to think about personal issues on personal time. It was another to stop coming to class altogether. And for once, it wasn’t you avoiding the problem.

You had gone to class like normal, even though you were fully aware that a certain someone would – or, at least, should – be sitting in his usual seat when you arrived. You weren’t surprised at all when he hadn’t found you to walk you from class to class. That was to be expected after the abrupt ending to your last encounter. But him skipping class altogether was unexpected. Yixing was a dutiful student. Being in class was important. And yet, his seat was conspicuously empty when you stepped into the lab.

It was suffice to say that you were a little put out by his avoidance. You had conceded to the idea that you were going to suffer through having to sit next to him all class period and yet, all your panicking and worry was for not.

Maybe this was secretly a good thing. Maybe you would be able to concentrate better with the table to yourself.

That was not the case.

While you tried to concentrate on Professor Jiang’s lecture, your mind kept wondering back to Yixing.

Was he okay? Was he avoiding you? Had he dropped the class for good? Because of you?

What were the “things” that he needed to figure out? Were you right in thinking that he had a girlfriend off campus? Or was something else going on? Family things?

Your head was spinning with all the different possibilities. You might have heard a few technical terms during the lecture, but none of it sunk in. The pencil in your hand hardly scribbled across the notepad. Words floated meaningless from the textbook.

When Professor Jiang ended the session, you closed the textbook with a hard slam. Many eyes turned to you in shocked curiosity.

“Sorry,” you mumbled as you quickly packed away the rest of your supplies. Keeping your head down, you rushed out of the classroom and through the halls until you were outside under the cloud-hidden sun.

Finding a bench, you sat down, leaning forward on your knees as your eyes trailed over the cracked concrete sidewalk. That period was a dud, you were sure of that. At some point you would have to squeeze in extra study time to make up for the inability to control your attention. It was all Yixing’s fault. He was the one who had kissed you and then left. A few times you had unlocked your phone to call him, but never went through with it. You didn’t want to come off as desperate or clingy. You were trying not to care. In the past, you never had before. There was no reason for Yixing to be any different.

Except that he was.

You felt a bit… broken. Or perhaps rejected was the right word. There was a lot going on inside you that it was hard to pinpoint the exact emotions. Those words were both exaggerated and not enough in their explanations.

Deciding that you were done with this oddly out of character pity party, you stood up and continued walking until you’d left the campus grounds all together and crossed the street in the direction of your apartment.

Ran was home when you walked through the door. Her music – vibrating loudly through the miniature Bluetooth next to her on the floor – drowned out your steps into the living room. Spread out around her were notebooks, textbooks, different colored pens and a half-filled coffee mug. A one-person study session. She jumped when she finally noticed you. “Oh, hey!” She reached over and turned down the music so it was now at a low background noise level. “What are you doing already?”

“I wasn’t feeling too well,” you lied. She believed you since you were sure you looked the part. “I thought it might be best to come home and lie down.”

Ran jokingly cringed away from you. “Ew, don’t get me sick. I have plans with Hae In this weekend.”

“I don’t think it’s a bug or anything. My body might just be rebelling against lack of sleep.” Surely Ran had heard your tossing and turning the last several nights.

“Hey,” Ran caught you attention again before you could escape to your room. “So, uh, did anything happen between you and that Yixing guy after I left?” She wiggled her eyebrows playfully.

You shook your head. “No. We talked about class a bit and then he went home. Family emergency or something like that.”

“Hm. Interesting. Well, take it form me, he definitely likes you.”

“I doubt that.”

“No, seriously.” Ran took a sip from the mug, flinched at the now probably lukewarm liquid, and then put it back down. “The way he was looking at you, he likes you. A lot. I think you should give him a chance.”

You chewed on her observations. “I’ll think about it.”

Safe in the four walls of your tiny room, you curled up on your bed with your back against the headboard. As wonderful as sleep sounded and even with Ran now keeping her music at a more manageable level, you doubted your brain would be able to shut off. To try and be distracted by something, you logged into the “Dream University’s” website to check your status.

Still waitlisted. Okay. This was fine. You weren’t actually expecting any change. You just wanted something to do. You were growing antsy. Coming home might not have actually been the best idea. It was the walk itself that had been helpful, freeing for your mind. Now that you were still again, you were back to where you were in the classroom. Unfortunately, the overthinking anxiety wouldn’t let you just get up and go – not with Ran still in the living room. Did it make any sense? Absolutely not. Did that matter? Nope.

About twenty minutes or so went by with you simply scrolling through social media until you heard the music stop and the rustling of the school supplies being picked up. After five minutes of clean up, the front door opened and then closed again. Just to be extra sure that Ran was gone for good, you watched the clock on your phone click by for ten minutes.

Now you were able to leave.

Wrapping up in a jacket (not Yixing’s), you checked your pockets for all the essentials and then headed out the door.

It was back to the nature center for you. It probably wasn’t the smartest place to go given your last adventure in the park, but it had nice winding trails and there would be people around – at a distance, that is.

The clouds were still heavy in the sky when you arrived. Not to the point where they threatened rain, but enough to color the world a dull gray. Squirrels dotted along the path. Their bellies were round and full, telling you that the locals had been feeding them despite the signs that clearly advised against it. Some were brave enough or curious enough to come close to you, but scurried away as soon as it was clear that you were not one of the gracious humans that bestowed them fluffy bread.

Letting your feet guide you along the asphalt path, you let yourself be absorbed in the trees. Your mind still wander towards Yixing, but you didn’t fight it anymore. You were hoping that overexposure would lead to a numbness, an immunity. But he wasn’t a disease attacking your body, he was just a boy. A cute, dimple-smiled boy who made you feel at ease.

Crack!

You snapped your head up at the sudden sound. You half expected a bunny to come hopping out of the side bushes, letting you laugh at yourself. But it wasn’t a bunny twenty feet off the trail.

It was a wolf.

A gray wolf. Just like the hiker said. And it was staring right at you.

Scanning the area, you searched for the closest route to the main center, but you were too far in. This was exactly why you avoided the woods!

You vaguely remembered the advice not to run because then the wolf would treat you like prey. It always sounded like stupid advice. Even more so now as the creature charged in your direction. You charged off the path in the opposite direction of the wolf, pushing the air out of your lungs and screaming as loud as you could.

“Are you sure it was around here?”

Yixing threw Junmyeon a look. “Yes. I’m sure.”

The two wolves were currently trotting through the woods to find the spot where Yixing had found the man and Ming. Junmyeon wanted a better look at the scene in the off chance he might get a better intact of the scent left behind. Each time they’d gone looking for answers in the past, the scent had been too old and dulled to really pick it apart. They were probably too late now, but they’d spent the last few days at the farmhouse, keeping an eye on Yixing to see if another blackout would occur. It hadn’t, much to Junmyeon’s disappointment.

“It was close to the nature center,” Yixing explained once again. They’d come from the north, rather than straight from the center. Yixing had hoped that he’d have a better insight to the location. They were getting warmer.

A sudden twig snap made their human ears perk up.

“Could that be--”

“It was probably just a rabbit,” Junmyeon guessed.

As if to prove him wrong, the snap was followed by a wolf’s rumbling howl. And then a high pitched scream.

Yixing gasped. He knew that scream.

“That’s (y/n)!”

Junmyeon looked at him, unconvinced. “Are you sure?”

Yixing’s response was a ferocious growl as he took off without his alpha. A wolf always knows his mate.

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weasleypogues · 3 years

Text

jealousy is a two way street

request: Hi could I request a young Sirius black imagine where reader and Sirius have a argument blow up infront of the rest of the marauders in the dorm with lots of shouting because they are both to stubborn to admit either of them are wrong. Lots of snide remarks and sarcastic comments (also reader and Sirius are already dating) I love your writing

thanks so much!! hope u enjoy xxx

finally trying to get back into the groove of writing!! requests are open <3

masterlist.

“Fuck, Marry, Kill: (Y/N), Emma Cooper, and Allison Wood.” James called off names as the Marauders, Lily, and you sat in a circle in the common room. It was approximately 2:45 AM and after a stop at HoneyDukes, needless to say no one was falling asleep till later or at all for that matter.

“Kill Emma, Fuck Allison and Marry (Y/N) for sure.” Sirius answered without even hesitating. You slightly clenched your jaw and looked at the ground.

“Course.” You muttered under your breath and looked in the opposite direction of Sirius immediately. You mentally cursed James for even bringing up Allison and cured Sirius even more for choosing her. In the past you two had arguments because of Allison whether it be that she was getting too touchy with Sirius and he wasn’t stopping it or constantly talking about her when you two were alone. But why couldn’t he just choose Emma? Was he completely oblivious to the months of constant arguing?

Sirius Black knew how to get under your skin. As much as you loved him as your boyfriend, he could be a dick from time to time and found it hot when you would get frustrated after he would push your buttons. But this time he’d gone a little too far.

“What was that?” Sirius inquired, raising his eyebrows at you.

“I said ‘Of course”. Of course you would pick Allison instead of the sweet Emma. I knew this game would make me jealous but your dumb fucking answers are making me infuriated.” You replied, feeling like your whole body was on fire.

“Babe, we’ve been over this. She means nothing to me, I’d rather spend the rest of my life with you than be with Allison.”

“First of all, don’t babe me. Second of all, we endured months and months of conflicts because of her. She hates me! I hate her! It’s a two way street and you seem to stick yourself in the middle of it instead of choosing a side. You know how jealous I got when she would put her hand on your leg or on your arm. Run her hand through your hair. Or on date nights when instead of a nice and loving conversation it’s ‘Guess what Alli did today?’ or ‘Alli is actually too funny’.” You said, not taking a breath until the end. All of this anger and emotions that have been bubbling up inside of you were finally released and you didn’t feel any remorse at all.

He opened his mouth to say something but chuckled darkly and shook his head. “I’m not even going to say it.”

“No, say it. Please do. I’m sure we would all love to hear what you have to say.” You spat back, crossing your arms.

“For months on fucking months during our fights you know who you would constantly go to? James. My best fucking mate. My fucking brother. At points, I felt like you liked him better than you liked me. It made me feel like shit to see you two always having a good fucking laugh. You could have came to me! Yes, there was tension between us but never on earth would I turn you away. We could’ve figured this out a lot quicker and calmer if I didn’t believe you were out shagging my best friend.” Sirius admitted, his face beet red and hair wild. Your jaw dropped and you were at a loss for words. What you were feeling was exactly what he was feeling?

“Sirius I had no-” You started but were soon cut off.

“No idea, yeah I know. If you haven’t noticed I’m an expert at keeping my feelings hidden.” He grumbled. “You know what. I’m done. I gotta go.” And with that he stood up and left the room, walking up the stairs to the dormitory. You immediately stood up and was about to take your first step until a hand held you back.

“Give him some time to cool down. If you speak to him any more he’s only going to get more heated and it won’t help anyone.” Remus spoke softly and gave you a sympathetic smile.

“Fuck that, I’m going to talk to him.” James bursted out and shoved himself off of the ground and walked up the same stairs Sirius had moments ago.

“I really fucked up this time. If I had just kept my mouth shut.” You mumbled and ran your hand over your face and let that run through your hair.

“You didn’t fuck up. You were angry and there were still some unspoken feelings between you two. This will get resolved. Sirius is so whipped for you that he wouldn’t do anything to lose you. Trust me.” Lily state simply and gave you a reassuring smile. You let out a shaky breath and nodded before getting up and walking to your dorms.

“I’ll just let us both sleep on it.” You responded, though you were not completely sure of that.

“Give him a couple of minutes for he and James to sort this out between them. But you don’t want to go to bed angry, that’s not going to work.” Lily said, looking extremely sympathetic. You groaned loudly and let your head roll to the back of the couch.

“Why must you always be right, Lily?” She laughed in response.

“It’s just in my DNA.”

You waited downstairs for another half hour, fiddling with your thumbs and going through mini arguments in your head on what to say to him to clear this up. You heard the creak of the boys dormitory door open and looked up immediately to only see James walking out with his hands in his pockets, looking quite sheepish.

“I told him I’d send you up there.” James stated, taking a seat on the couch next to you.

“How’d it go with you?” You asked, worry written all over your face.

“Not that badly. He just needs a pair of ears. He may be dramatic but he isn’t the type to want to start yelling at you.” You nodded and with that, lifted from the couch and made your way up the stairs. You chose not to knock but just walk right in to see Sirius sitting on his bed and looking out the window that was next to it. He had his hands folded in his lap and was quiet.

“Sirius...” You said, hoping not to spook him, but in reality you just wanted to soflty grab his attention. Sirius moved his head slightly but still didn’t look directly at you.

“I’m sorry about, you know, everything. I never put myself in your shoes to take in what you must have been feeling when all of that was going down. It’s just that James knows you the best so I thought that he could give me guidance on how to make things right but I never realized how it must’ve looked to you. I really do apologize for that.” You said, still feet away from him, standing with your fingers interlocked with themselves. Sirius finally looked in your direction and gave you a small smile.

“Thank you, (Y/N/N). But really I should be apologizing. I shouldn’t have blown up on you down there. I just got jealous and didn’t want to admit I was wrong considering you going to James for advice is way different than Allison heavily flirting with me all the time. It’s hard for me to take blame where it’s deserved and I let my pride get the best of me. But I want to assure you that you’re the only girl I ever want to be with. Allison is Allison and that’s it. You mean the world to me and absolutely no one could ever get in the way of that. Not even my pride.” Sirius responded, worry etched in his furrowed eyebrows and glossy eyes as he slowly made his way towards you and grabbed your interlocked hands.

You subtly smiled, realizing if you showed anymore emotion that the overwhelming amount of emotions you were feeling right now might make you start crying. You instinctively let your body nuzzle right into his chest and you wrapped your arms around his torso, taking in his warmth and scent. He didn’t hesistate to wrap his arms around you and kiss the top of your head a couple of times.

Pulling your head away but keeping your arms around his body, you looked up at him and smiled. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Sirius responded with, not hesitating whatsoever. You leaned in for a long kiss and were in each others arms for a few moments longer.

#harry potter imagines #Marauders #marauders era #marauders imagines #marauders imagine #marauders era imagines #peter pettigrew #young peter pettigrew #Sirius Black #young sirius black #sirius black imagines #sirius black x reader #sirius black imagine #James Potter #young james potter #Remus Lupin #young remus lupin

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literaila · 3 years

Text

the agony of sanity: chapter two.

“Nothing at all”

spencer x reader

summary: four years is a long time to forget the person you once knew... *thought you knew.

warnings: s12 spoliers, violence, criminal minds stuff, inaccurate BAU things, angst?

part one here.

When Spencer sat down he still had that look in his eyes.

The one that was making her nervous. Making her want to run away, go back home where she belonged. God, she couldn't wait to get out of there.

She briefly noted the other eyes on her, inmates all around her staring.

She swallowed before speaking, running a hand through her hair. “How are you, Spencer?” she plastered a smile on her face, hoping it would get rid of that look.

Spencer just stared at her as if she was delusional. A frown pinned to his face.

“What are you doing here?!” he hissed, one of the guards watching them giving him a stern look that neither of them noticed.

Y/N drummed her fingers on the countertop, she was glad for the thin piece of plastic separating the two considering Spencer looked like he was going to throw something at her.

Not that he’d ever do that, she reminded herself. She still knew that much about him.

She blew a breath out, his eyes still focused on her. “That well, huh?” she whispered, looking away from him. Trying to put a hint of humor in her voice, but all she could hear when it came out was the fear cracking through her calm composure.

“Y/N, I haven't seen you in four years!” Spencer whisper-yelled, making Y/N’s heart race with the force of his voice. Yes, she had been expecting some anger, and maybe surprise, but she wasn't prepared for it. And not quite so fast. Spencer wasn't usually one to have a temper. Or, he wasn't four years ago.

She could only remember him yelling at her twice. Both in instances of fear.

“There's a picture of me on the wall at the BAU.” she deadpanned, looking back at him, trying to seem nonchalant. She needed to keep her cool if this was going to go the way she wanted it to.

“You know what I mean.”

And she did, and maybe it wasn't the right time for joking but she had to keep this conversation as lighthearted as she could bear.

She could already feel her body ready to get up, to leave, and go back home. But she couldn't afford that, and they didn't have enough time. She was supposed to be mending things, letting Spencer know that she was there to help. She wasn't supposed to be joking around, letting her nerves take control of her.

This was so terribly confusing.

“You’re not going to answer my question?” she asked, trying not to glare at him and his eyes. His eyes that wouldn't lose that look, one that she couldn't quite place, but one that she knew wasn't good. Definitely not.

The two of them were completely unaware of everything else, the other voices in the room drowned out by the thoughts of both of them.

And it was strange because even after four years, four long years, this conversation didn't hold an ounce of awkwardness. It never had, even when they had only just met, the two of them were always good at being comfortable around each other. It was so confusing.

That was probably why Spencer didn't mind being angry at her. Even now.

“You never answered mine,” he responded, leaning away from her and crossing his arms. His body, now closed off, his entire demeanor distant.

Which of course, she noticed.

She sighed, biting her lip before finally nodding, and blowing out a breath. “Emily called me,” she allowed, leaning back in her chair, and breaking Spencer’s glare on her. It was best to let him draw the conclusions by himself, to give him something to calm his emotions down.

He was confused now. “Why?” he inquired, mostly to himself.

Y/N granted him a second to think about it, taking the time to thoroughly examine him. She didn't notice any big indicators of exhaustion, and although he looked a bit more grey than she was used to seeing him. She was going to have to report back to Emily. Emily and all the other people that loved Spencer. She was going to have to remember this information, she was sure that they’d want to know.

She would, at least.

“Emily thinks you can help me,” Spencer whispered, running a hand through his hair. It was as if a light had clicked on in his brain, as if it was all just starting to make sense.

Y/N watched a second more, she wasn't sure if he was angry by this realization. She couldn't tell. She knew that his eyes were cautious now, more careful, as if he said one word too much the world would implode.

“You wouldn't help me.” Spencer denied, looking right at her and all of her nerves. His tone was diminishing, and his face was one of amusement. It was incredibly threatening. Also a reason for her to look away.

She scoffed, nodding her head sarcastically. “Thanks for the vote of confidence, Doc.”

She felt a strange pinch of guilt, mad at herself for talking to him like this, for not doing what she meant to do. He was in prison, she was supposed to be helping.

Not confusing and ridiculing him.

Spencer held his hands up in defense, his eyes wide as he looked at her, “You haven't talked to me in four years! You don't even like me-”

“You’re right.” Y/N taunted, a bitter smile on her face. The words had slipped out before she could stop them, her temper getting the best of her.

She hoped he didn't notice the brief wince of regret that laid upon her face for a split second after.

Spencer laughed sarcastically, fed up with her evading. He leaned forward, his eyes angry “Then why the hell are you here Y/N?!” he hissed, his voice coming out strong and harsh. It almost made Y/N want to get up from the table, but she was going to hold her ground. She had to keep her cool, convince him.

She was here to be his advisor, not his enemy.

“I promised Emily I would help.” She affirmed, staring him down with a slight glare. “I’m not backing out on my promise,” she said firmly, her voice much calmer than his. Her composure the only thing that she could rely on.

“I don't need your help, and I’m not sure what Emily thinks but I don't want it! There's nothing you can do, and even if there was I don't want help from someone that hates me.”

The pin of politeness was pulled from the two of them with Spencer's words. The barrier of courtesy that they’d both put between them removed itself, and suddenly, the bright hot fire was spreading across the table between the two of them.

They weren't in the visitor's room anymore, now they were back someplace they’d been before. A place where they were alone. A bad one.

A place where composure went out the door.

“I’m not here to help you, Spencer! I’m here to help the people that are desperately waiting for you to go back home, remember them?” Y/N fumed, pointing an accusing hand at Spencer as she made her point. “They’re scared straight with you in here! And I’m sure as hell not going to let you die in prison because of an old grudge I have with you!” Her voice increased with her emotions, gaining a few glances from people in the room Spencer and her were no longer in. She felt the flare of the fire in her gut, old and new emotions mixing together as she spoke.

Spencer tried to interrupt, his eyes only slightly softer, when she continued.

“I’m not particularly interested in whether you want me here or not. I’m here. I’m helping you.” The brief pauses in her words set a final statement to the conversation. Her eyes were hard, her stare deadly as she looked at Spencer, waiting for him to say something else.

To anyone else, she might look confident in her stance, might look incredibly intimidating, but she could feel that bubble of fear in her stomach. She could feel her anger at Spencer deflating, and her worry that he might see through her was beating her from inside out.

She just had to get this conversation over with, then she could leave. Then she could go somewhere to get herself together.

A couple more minutes at most.

“Y/N I’m-” Spencer started, his voice bringing both of them back to reality, back to the room where people were starting to get up, some of the visitors starting to leave.

Y/N held a hand up, stopping Spencer, her face tense as she closed her eyes and tried not to remember the last time she had heard that from him.

“I don't need your apologies Reid, then or now.” she paused, taking a breath. “I came here to let you know that I was going to be working your case, I wanted to speak to you before anyone else could.”

Spencer nodded, something inside of him changing, his emotions flipped from a minute ago. “Okay,” he said, his voice softer.

It was so much like the one she’d heard years ago, this man in front of her looking so familiar to her all of the sudden.

“Okay,” she replied, trying to keep her voice level.

She could feel herself draining, her ability to keep talking to him leaving her body faster than she had expected. She was going to have to leave soon, before she could do something that she would regret.

“Is there anything you can do?”

Y/N sighed, rubbing her eyes at the question. She was so tired.

She looked up at Spencer, her face indifferent. “It's not looking good,” she stated, her voice exhausted.

Spencer nodded, already aware of that. He knew that there was nothing to do yet, that time was the only thing that would help him.

Y/N could see the shame on his face, the energy deflating out of him, similar to her.

“I’m going to get you out of here.” She clarified, trying not to leave when his hopes were gone, when she didn't have any good news for him. When Spencer didn't do anything but nod, Y/N furrowed her eyebrows, continuing to get him to look up at her. “I already promised Emily.”

Spencer laughed, brushing his hair back, shaking his head. “You can't promise something impossible, Y/N.”

It was the first time he had positively used her name, but she tried not to notice that.

“I promise Reid, even if it's impossible.”

Spencer only shook his head some more, all of the sudden looking more exhausted than Y/N had the words to explain.

He’d never told her how he was doing. She’d never asked again. She should-

“Promises too often mean nothing.”

And with those words striking Y/N’s core in the worst way, practically blowing her over, Spencer stood up, motioning to the guard.

Nothing.

It was cold that night.

Their heater had broken months ago, but with the hot summer air, neither of them had taken the time to care about it. Why would they when they didn't need it? When the sun was out, and the nights were warm.

But as the days got shorter, and the clouds started swarming outside, the air flickered into something freezing. Something much colder than summer.

Spencer would probably tell her that actually it couldn't be classified as freezing until the temperatures-

She shivered just thinking about it.

He wasn't home yet. They’d had the day off, and when the sun had still been shining they’d gone out to the park, laying together. Y/N laid on Spencer’s chest as he read a book out loud, his voice quiet enough so that just the two of them could hear. But eventually, when the sun started to set, and Spencer had to squint to see the words on the page, Y/N had told him that they should go.

Both of them were sad to see the day pass them by so quickly. It was a bittersweet feeling to know that they’d gotten that time together, for once, and now it was over.

But Spencer had smiled at her, gently moved her off of him, stood up, and took her hand. He'd led her away from the park.

He’d whispered sweet nothings to her as they walked home, reminding her that they didn't have to go to bed just yet.

And so, they were going to have dinner, going to watch a movie together.

But when stumbling upon the nothing that they called their fridge, Y/N had forced Spencer to go get something for them to eat, pushing him out the door as she teased him.

He still wasn't home. And the heater wasn't working.

She shivered under the blanket she was under, trying to figure out how long it had been since he’d left. She knew that it shouldn't be taking him this long. She sighed as she called him again, expecting his voicemail, but still hating it.

It was too cold to be in this apartment alone.

She cursed whatever stupidity had led the two of them to forget about fixing the heater, trying not to let her teeth clatter as she watched the clock tick on the wall.

She was so thankful for this day, these couple of hours she got to spend with Spencer unbothered. They hadn't had enough time to do this lately, too exhausted, too busy, to even think about being in love with each other.

It was wearing on the both of them, that much she could tell. It was hard to sleep in the same bed, too exhausted to cuddle, too drained to say goodnight. It was hard to live next to each other and do the same things every day without taking the time to be together.

They had to start leaving some hours for the two of them.

Because a day like this, one where they could just be together without the exhaustion, the work, days like this were the only thing that kept the two of them together.

They were each other's rock, and they needed to start remembering it.

It was those thoughts she was filled with when she finally heard the door click open, Spencer's voice filling the air as she felt the relief in her chest.

At least she wouldn't be alone in the cold now.

“Sorry, there was such a long line, and I had to-” he paused, his voice drifting off in the air in which he could see his breath. “Oh.”

“You remember when I said we didn't need to get the heater fixed right away!?” Y/N called as she heard him pause, “I was wrong!”

Spencer laughed, deciding against taking his jacket off. “I got the food,” he said as he set it down on the counter, noticing his girlfriend walking over to him. He turned to her, smiling. “And I could’ve told you that.”

Y/N’s jaw dropped, a gasp coming out of her mouth. “That was rude,” she exclaimed, trying not to let the smile slip on her face.

Spencer’s eyes widened, his shock matching hers as he thought about what he said. “No I didn't-” he started to say when he finally took a better look at her, noticing the way her jaw was moving, how she was shivering and rubbing her arms. “Are you cold?” he asked, concern clouding his voice.

Y/N nodded. “It's like ten degrees in here,” she whispered, moving over to him.

Spencer immediately took the hint, bringing her into his arms, her cold matching his warmth. Y/N sighed out a breath of relief, happy to be in his arms, to be warm with him again. Her shivers started to fade away, slowly but surely.

“I’m going to get you cold,” she whispered against his chest, the two of them falling into a moment of silence, dancing across their floor without any music. It was blissful, even in the cold. The two of them could feel the warmth, not just in the air, but in their bodies, their minds being flooded with happiness.

“I don't care. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you.” Spencer whispered back, rubbing her back as they rocked against their kitchen floor.

“Even holding me until our heater gets fixed?” she asked, her question bringing a laugh to both of them.

“Even that,” Spencer said, holding her tighter.

And later on, when they were both drifting off to sleep after watching three movies, Spencer kissed Y/N’s head. He thought about the amazing day they'd spent together, the smiles that filled their faces. It was a perfect day he'd decided. There was nothing that could beat her laughter.

He held her as close as he could, wrapping her in his warmth.

And he whispered.

“Nothing.”

Her emotions were running in a pit of hysteria.

She couldn't really tell what she was feeling, whether it was relief at finally getting out of that prison- literally -or if it was fear at the fact that she had no idea what to do. Her body was swirling with nerves, anger, terror. So many things.

Hysteria.

It was the hysteria of emotions, all of them at once, banging on her ribs, killing her core, aiming for her throat when she wasn't looking.

She wasn't very fond of the feeling.

She tried to push it down with anything, easing her headache with some over the counter medicine, chugging water in hopes that it would drain her system of all the things she didn't want to feel. She sat in her car, trying not to bang her head against the wheel.

She hated this feeling.

And when she finally decided to get out, to head into the office so that she could talk to Emily about everything like she said that she would, her body still wasn't listening to her only request.

Just to feel nothing. Please.

She shook her head as she walked through the doors, cursing herself out, trying to think of anything to say.

But then she was knocked over.

A blur of a person came rushing over to her, crushing her into a hug before she could even see straight, this person holding on to her for dear life.

Penelope.

There was a moment of relief, a moment where Y/N was laughing out, happy to be filled with the nostalgia of seeing one of her friends again. This was a feeling she could deal with. This was a feeling that she could appreciative.

It was so much better than hysteria.

“You’re back!” the blonde announced, pulling back from her crushing hug to look at Y/N. Garica held her head in her hands, turning it so that she could examine Y/N properly.

Y/N was laughing at her, the smile on her face surprising her. The energy that she hadn't been able to come up with, just showing up in her body as she laughed.

“Only for a while,” she said, her face held so that she was looking directly at Penelope, who also had a smile on her face.

“Oh none of that sweetheart, you’re back!” She insisted, hugging Y/N once again, her grip surprisingly comforting.

It was nice to see her friend again after so long, after cutting communication off completely. Before everything, Penelope and Y/N had been good friends, both of them relying on the other like they were solid ground to stand on.

When Y/N left, she sobbed at the thought of letting this beautiful girl go, practically died when she finally had to, but she couldn't have any reminders.

She’d blocked Garcia as soon as she’d left the country.

When Penelope pulled back again, she had a scowl on her face. Her eyes ridiculing. “Why haven't I heard from you? Where did you go?” she scolded, not letting the other girl go as she questioned her.

“I- '' Y/N started, the question surprising her. How would she answer? There was no real explanation, or at least not one she wanted to say. But before she could think, she noticed the other people surrounding the two of them, two unfamiliar men in the center of the crowd, one woman she didn't recognize.

And then there was JJ, and Rossi, and Emily. Three familiar faces. Her old friends. She immediately smiled at them, appreciating their familiar faces, all the changes that she noticed after four years. She hadn't seen them in so long, too long, and it was practically bliss to be in the same room with her work family again.

Emily was the first to step up, moving over to the side of Y/N Penelope wasn't attached to, and putting her hand on her shoulder.

“This is Y/N Y/L/N. She's a former BAU agent. She's here to help with Spencer’s case.” The announcement didn't stop JJ from moving forward, gently moving Garcia away with a push, and giving Y/N a hug of her own.

More comfort came to Y/N at this hug, the familiarity a gentle reminder that she knew these people, that she wasn't a complete stranger in Virginia.

“It's good to see you again,” JJ said, moving back, the smile still on her face. Her eyes bright as she looked at Y/N. Y/N nodded, agreeing with the other girl. It was amazing to see JJ again.

And then there was Rossi, who of course, wasn't going to let Y/N by without a hug of his own.

“Where’ve you been kid?” he greeted, joining the little reunion that was happening between the four of them.

Smiles were stuck on all of their faces, no introductions needed for the people that had spent years working together, side by side, every day.

Y/N had always been a piece of the puzzle, she was loved unconditionally by all the members of the BAU, and when she’d left, a piece had been missing.

They’d all forgotten about that until then, forgotten that they still weren't complete without her.

She’d forgotten too.

“Working.” She laughed, answering Rossi, the warmth filling her belly as she was connected with all of the people she’d known so well. Her eyes felt less exhausted, friendly, like she was so used to them being.

But there wasn't enough time, and eventually, another man stood up.

“I’m Stephen Walker,” he introduced himself, giving a well-practiced firm handshake. He smiled at her politely.

“Lovely to meet you,” she returned, matching his smile as he stood back.

The woman stepped up next, her smile more friendly than polite, much different from Stephens. Her demeanor was careful, her body trying to be as welcoming as she could.

“I’m Dr. Tara Lewis,” she said, also offering Y/N a handshake.

Y/N didn't feel as nervous meeting her, Dr. Lewis’ welcoming smile made her feel safe, not as worried. She didn't feel like a stranger with Tara. More like old friends. It was a strange feeling. One she wasn't used to.

They smiled at each other as Tara stepped back.

Then the last man stepped forward, confident, his smile also welcoming but playful. His eyes weren't as reserved as his colleagues, Y/N wasn't nervous about him, already getting the hint that they could be good friends.

“I’m Luke Alvez-”

“Newbie.” Garica interrupted, whispering in Y/N’s ear. She looked over to the girl, who was giving Luke a blank look, one that was trying to be oblivious.

“Newbie?” Y/N asked, her brows furrowed as she kept the smile on her face, she looked between Penelope and Luke. Luke just shook his head at her question, rubbing his neck as he looked down.

Garcia just rolled her eyes.

Y/N would have to ask about that later, she noted.

“How was Spencer, Y/N? Emily said you went to see him this morning.” JJ questioned just as Y/N had expected she would.

And suddenly, introductions were over, and Y/N was reminded of all the things she had forgotten because of that hug.

All the feelings she had. All the feelings she didn't want.

Spencer was in prison, he was not hopeful, Y/N didn't know what to do. She promised.

Y/N sighed, rubbing a hand over her face, not noticing the concerned faces at her actions. All of his friends were worried, not expecting good news based on her reaction. Her incredibly pulled back reaction.

“He’s fine, I suppose. Tired I’d imagine.” Y/N explained, trying to remember anything that she could say to ease their worries. “He’s accepted my help. But I don't think he's very hopeful.” she continued, a bittersweet smile on her face. She wanted to be positive, but she couldn't, she couldn't provide anything to anyone in this room when all she wanted to do was scream.

“Well, that's good right?” Penelope asked, her eyes innocent, her voice displaying the tiniest hint of hope. “He's accepting help.”

Emily nodded, glad that there was something they could all lean back on, but Y/N just sighed some more, depleted.

First, there was that conversation with Spencer. That horrid, factious, conversation. And now, she had to tell all of his friends, all of her old friends, all the people she was going to be working with that he wasn't doing well. She didn't want to tell them that he’d only barely accepted her help, that he was ready to send her away.

“Y/N’s only been here for two days, give her some more time and we’ll figure something out.” Emily entrusted, a tense smile on her face. Y/N could tell that she was trying to be positive, she imagined that everyone else knew that too.

The room was full of profilers after all. A bunch of people that could tell when you were lying.

“If you don't mind me asking, what can you do for Spencer? How are you going to help him?” Tara inquired, her tone kind, but Y/N could sense the uncertainty. Like she wasn't sure if Y/N was really going to be able to do anything.

Y/N blew a breath out before answering. “I’m a lawyer, it's how I got into the BAU.” She smiled at the squeeze she felt on her shoulder from Garica. Appreciating the faith. “I know my way around the law, and believe it or not, I used to be a fairly good profiler.”

Penelope gasped, looking to the rest of them. “She was amazing! Without her, half of the BAU’s cases wouldn't have been solved, she and Spencer used to be the ‘dream team’.”

Y/N felt her body tense up at the reminder, hating herself for still feeling that sore spot right in her heart, she hated that even now, she still couldn't handle the little things.

Penelope definitely noticed, her smile dropping at her mistake, her voice picking up its pace to fix the memory she had just brought up.

But Y/N let out a laugh before her friend could apologize, not wanting apologies for something that she should be used to by now. Something that she needed to get over.

She put an arm around Penelope, letting her know that it was okay. That she wasn't mad.

“Emily called me,” she sucked in a breath, her body easing. “Because I know how to work a case, and I have lots of connections that might be a good use to Reid.”

All of them seemed satisfied with her answer, the people she’d just met understanding more now, their confusion about who she was, gone.

“Oh, and I owe her a favor,” Y/N concluded, allowing her voice to become teasing, looking over to Emily and grinning.

She let her emotions become clouded by the conversation that continued, not wanting to feel that same hysteria from earlier.

The hysteria that she was worried would take her over. That would drive her away despite her promises.

She couldn't leave. She had to help.

She was glad for this indifferent feeling she felt. Anything to keep that hysteria away, was okay with her.

She looked around, the warmth she got from all those hugs being just enough to keep her awake.

She was so tired. And she had so much work to do.

A promise to keep.

“Promises too often mean nothing.”

Nothing.

#spencer reid imagines #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid smut #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds rp #criminal minds headcanons #mgg #mgg x reader #mgg blurb #mgg fanfiction

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rosesgonerogue · 3 years

Text

Finding You (Again)

Chapter Two

Masterlist

Damian

He hadn’t actually meant to say those things to Marinette. When Dick had burst in carrying her, his mind had gone to all of the worst case scenarios. How could he live with himself if Marinette was seriously hurt, or even worse, killed? She was too gentle, too precious to be sacrificed for Gotham’s sake.

Of course, he couldn’t bring himself to express any of that. Damian was angry, angry at what could have happened to his wife, and angry at his wife for putting herself into the situation in the first place. A part of him wanted to cave, to apologize for his poisonous words, but he was stubborn. (Luckily Marinette wasn’t an easy crier, or he would have buckled right then and there.)

So he watched her march out, his fact fixed into one of passive disapproval until she was far gone. Even then, it took a few minutes before anyone felt like they could talk.

“That was not handled well, Demon Spawn,” Todd said, finally breaking the silence.

“As you are the last person I would ever ask for marriage advice, remind me to never listen to anything you say, Todd.”

“No, Little D, Jason is right,” Dick said hesitantly. “I understand you were worried about Marinette, but that definitely felt like you were attacking her. You don’t just yell everything someone might be doing wrong at them, especially in front of the entire extended family. That was just… cruel.”

“I don’t need it from you either, Grayson,” he spat. “Alfred, I’ll be needing a room prepared for me tonight.”

The elderly man gazed at him, eyes sad. “There is so much about Miss Marinette and the Miraculous that you do not understand, Master Damian. I shall prepare your bedroom for you.”

Damian could feel his eye begin to twitch as Alfred departed, followed by Bruce who said nothing. He simply gave his son a disappointed look. It hurt more than Damian cared to admit.

“You’re selling her short,” Drake said, actually pulling his head away from the computer. “These are all things you would have thrown Jon into the middle of without thinking, and she’s just about as indestructible as he is. A number of those abilities and immunities have likely permanently altered her body, not just the suit.”

“And some of those things can’t be faked, Demon Spawn. The girl’s more of a tactical genius than the Replacement,” Jason said before standing up. “By the way, she’s always been too good for you. Let’s hope you didn’t f--”

“Goodnight, Jason,” Dick said, shoving his brother through the door. “Tim, you’re cut off, no more computer tonight. It’s bed time. And Little D, try to get some sleep. You and Marinette are both running on high emotions right now. Let things settle and tomorrow you two can talk when you’re calmer.”

Damian watched impassively as his brothers left the batcave, leaving him alone with his thoughts. It was a dangerous thing, actually. He found himself with his head in his hands, mind replaying every cruel word he’d said to his precious wife.

He dragged his hands down his face, willing his thoughts to redirect themselves to any place other than the wounded look in her eyes. That image warred in his mind with the thought of Marinette cold, pale, and lifeless.

He didn’t know what to do. Marinette was strong, but the thought of what could happen, the thought alone of losing her was almost enough to break Damian. But he knew she wouldn’t stop being Ladybug, and he didn’t know how to process his panic, so it just became anger.

This was absurd. He was obviously overthinking things. Damian would go to sleep, and when he woke up he would figure out some way to adequately apologize to Marinette, and maybe even get her to see his side of things. It would all be fine.

It was not all fine. Damian found himself inexplicably lonely that night, and he was barely able to sleep a wink. Then, when he woke up from his fitful sleep he had to deal with the entire family telling him how badly he’d messed up, including a furious Mar’i, who couldn’t stand the thought of him having made her Aunt Nettie cry.

“Maybe I was too harsh,” Damian admitted, gritting his teeth. “But she’s reckless lately, and I’m not the only one at fault for this fight.”

“We’re not telling you to give up the fight,” Stephanie said, snagging a bagel. “We’re telling you to go talk to your wife like a grown adult instead of badmouthing her in front of your entire family.”

“I - have I really been that bad?”

“Damian,” Bruce said, placing a hand on his shoulder, “we leave dangerous lives, but it’s even worse if we don’t trust each other. Marinette is good for you, she tempers you when you trust her. If you want that again you need to go talk to her.”

When everyone had said their piece, Alfred had all but dumped him out of the house, his expression closed. That alone made some of Damian’s anger die down. He’d never had Alfred so… disappointed in him before.

So he pondered just what to say to her as he walked home. Would she be angry, sad? Would she cry? Would he cry? The possibilities were endless, but never once did he consider that his wife wouldn’t be there.

The door was still locked - at least he knew she was still rational enough to care about her safety to that degree. When he’d pushed it open, he called, “Marinette?”

She was not in the kitchen or the living room, nor was she in the room where she worked on commissions. A pit twisted in his stomach when he pushed open their bedroom door, only to find it similarly empty.

He wasn’t sure when he had sunk to the ground, but somehow he was sitting on his butt, hugging his knees to his chest. Surely this was some kind of nightmare - he had to be back asleep at Wayne Manor, and his guilt was trying to communicate with him. Damian would wake up and genuinely apologize to his wife, because he was lucky to have her with him in any capacity.

But he didn’t wake up. He didn’t apologize to his wife, because as long as he waited, she never walked through the door, looking for him.

Damian had already lost his reason for living.

Taglist:

@tbehartoo @kris-pines04 @thesunanditsangel @constancetruggle @thequeenofpotatoeunicornss @rosalineandrosemary @novicevoice @momothefemur @theymakeupfairies @maskedpainter @mystery-5-5@dast218 @tip-tap-tired @zerotosiki @rebecarojas07 @bookgirl14 @certainmuffinbagelcalzone

Note: Happy Holidays, everyone! As an early Christmas present you get angst. If anyone would like to be tagged, just leave a comment below!

#daminette #damian x marinette #maribat

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dreamescapeswriting · 3 years

Text

World Premier ~ JJK [Request]

WORD COUNT: 1.8K

GENRE: Fluffy, establish-relationship,

PAIRING: Jeon Jungkook x Fem!Reader

The news about you and Jungkook had dropped a couple of weeks ago and since then you'd barely been able to look at your phone without it causing you to panic a little bit. There was nothing on there that should have made you as anxious as it was just the fact that your relationship was no longer hidden. All those years of hiding it from everyone around you were over, you and Jungkook were finally free to be together in public which was why BigHit had organised tonight for you. There was a premiere for the movie "Make Me Stay" Jungkook had written and recorded an OST for the movie which meant he was being invited. It was a romance movie that you'd heard a lot about, the trailer looked as though the movie was going to rip your heart out. Jungkook walked into the bedroom after his workout and smiled when he saw you sitting at the vanity, you always looked so beautiful when you were lost in your own world.

"You look lost in your own world, what's going on baby?" Jungkook questioned as he walked over to your side of the bedroom, bending down to rub your shoulders softly. You were trying to work on doing your makeup but all you could do was get distracted by thoughts of what would happen tonight. BigHit had organised Jungkook to be interviewed while you walked into the building which meant people would be capturing images from every angle the thought of that alone scared you.

"Just worrying about tonight," There were no lies between you and Jungkook, you told each other everything to make the relationship work. It had been that way from the start which was why you thought you both worked so well together, that and you had almost everything in common. Never a dull moment between you.

"I already told you there's nothing to worry about. We'll walk out there together, hand in hand and smile at everything, have our photo taken and you'll look beautiful, as you always do." He stood behind your chair looking at you in the vanity mirror continuing to rub your shoulders in small circles, he could already tell that what he said hadn't eased your mind at all but he was going to do the best he could to help.

"I promise you that tonight will be perfect, princess." He placed a small kiss on the top of your head and walked over to the walk-in-wardrobe, flicking the light on as he hunted for your outfit for the night. Your dress had been hanging up in the bag for the last week just waiting for its chance to shine, he'd been with you when you went to buy it, in full disguise since it was before you were announcing it all.

"I'll change after I've done my makeup," You told him when you noticed him bringing it out for you, his eyes lightening up at the thought of seeing you in it again. He hung it up over the pull-up bar that he had installed in the bedroom door and smiled,

"I just want to see it again." He chuckled as he slowly unzipped it from the bag revealing the black gown that was waiting inside for you. It was a fitted dress that clung to your body perfectly, it was just a simple silk black gown nothing fancy since neither of you stared in the movie. Just something to look nice in for all of the photographs.

"You like it that much?" You giggled as you rose up from the chair abandoning the makeup for now standing in front of Jungkook as he wrapped his arms around your waist and nodded. He gently placed his head in the crook of your neck and kissed softly on your skin as you stared at the dress,

"I'll love it even more when it's on the bedroom floor later tonight." He whispered to you before walking away to go and have a shower, you groaned at him for being so crude but he continued walking away from you.

Jungkook's hand was clutching onto yours tightly as he tried to keep you as calm as he possibly could, all of the cameras around you were flashing insanely fast while people yelled out questions. The lighting above the red carpet was scorching hot and then there was the yelling coming from every which way that you couldn't work out the words of, all of the questions blending together to sound like gibberish.

"The OST you wrote for the song, is it inspired by anything special?" The lady questioning Jungkook caught your attention so you looked at him wanting to know the answer to the question. The whole songwriting process had been hidden from you, he hadn't even let you listen to it since it dropped yesterday. He told you that he wanted it to be a secret until you heard it in the movie theatre where it was meant for so you could hear it in all its glory. The action in the movie running alongside it as well as his voice filling your ears.

"Actually it was," He squeezed your hand as he looked up at you blushing wildly as he realised he was finally going to get to speak about the one he adored most in the world in front of everyone.

"Y/n hasn't heard it yet, I've been hiding it from her but the song was inspired by our love story." Heat began to spread over the back of your neck and face as you felt people beginning to stare over at you both.

"As you know the movie is a romance about two people who have had to fight against all odds to be together...I just thought about our love story and it helped me write the song." The interviewer was starting to well up as she listened to Jungkook speaking like that in front of her,

"Is there any chance we'll get to hear the story about you and Y/n soon?" Jungkook turned to look at you this time waiting for you to answer,

"I think Jungkook will tell you all the embarrassing stories of me first...He'll never want to admit he chased someone." You winked at him playfully feeling calmer now that he was holding onto your waist, squeezing you ever so softly.

"All we know so far is that you've been together for three years, you guys have done well to keep it hidden. I'll let you enjoy your night!" The camera cut off and you turned to look at Jungkook as you continued strolling up the carpet,

"You did great, they'll love your song." You complimented him as you looked down at your feet, not wanting to trip over the carpet, the dress or the heels you were wearing. Too many chances to mess up and embarrass yourself in front of thousands of people.

"Do you feel better? I know you've been anxious about all of this...Not just tonight but all of it." Jungkook took your hand in his as he helped you up the small four stair staircase in front of you, you turned back to the cameras with him posing and smiling.

"You knew?" You whined out as he placed a small kiss on your cheek sending the cameras wild, the screaming getting louder but this time there were some fans screaming too.

"You think after all these years I don't know how to read my own girlfriend?" He chuckled as you stayed standing for a couple of moments waiting to be walked into the venue.

"I didn't want you to think I was being silly...Or weak...I was just worried what ARMY might think." You finally admitted, it had taken every ounce of strength in you to not go onto your social media and search your name. There was the part of you that wanted to know what they were all saying and a part of you that didn't, it was a losing battle with your own mind.

"Then we'll find out what they think," Jungkook chuckled as he wrapped his arm around your waist and walked you over to the edge of the carpet that was near a fence. Two guards were standing in place making sure the group of fans that were standing there didn't knock it down.

"Hi guys, do you want me to sign some items?" It wasn't as though you didn't have time, the movie didn't start for another hour or two and there were only roughly around 14 people standing there in the section.

"Please!" They all cried out desperate for Jungkook's attention but Jungkook held up his hand once they began pushing one another,

"Only if you guys don't push, I'll sign and take photos with each of you just...be careful." He told them, he cared about them a lot and you could see that in the way he looked after them and asked them not to hurt one another.

There was a younger girl at the front of the group was smiling as Jungkook bent down to sign the phone case she had, his face plastered across all of it.

"Can I have a selfie too?" She questioned you, you looked at Jungkook.

"I'm sure he'd love to take a selfie with you, sweetie, if you just-" You went to tell her to ask Jungkook but she began shaking her head and pointing to you.

"N-No I would like one with you too," The small stutter in her voice made you giggle softly as you looked at Jungkook to see if it was okay. He nodded at you as you both knelt down closer to her, posing in front of the camera.

The rest of the night had gone greatly the movie was fantastic and the song reduced you to tears as soon as you heard it but it was a perfect night.

"Thank you," You whispered to Jungkook as you both stood in your shared bathroom, his arms were wrapped around your waist as he looked into your eyes frowning slightly.

"Thank you for what baby? I haven't done anything, yet." He smirked as he began leaving small kisses up and down your neck but you shook your head at him. Placing your hands on his chest to push him away softly,

"I just meant for everything, our time together...T-The song, everything." He reached up to cup your face in his hand and ran his thumb along your skin, smiling as he stared into your eyes lovingly.

"You don't have to thank me, babe...I do it all because I love you." He whispered moving closer to you as he bent down for another kiss, moving his hand to cup your chin as you made out in the middle of the room.

"I love you too," You breathed out, unbuttoning the shirt he was wearing before throwing it down onto the floor and running your fingers down his abs. Tracing the lines of each muscle as you went, looking into his eyes and smiling.

"All mine." You smirked at him as you continued to trace his abs, biting down on his lip softly as he reached behind you for the zip of your dress.

Tagline: @lyoongx @mitzwinchester @fan-ati--c @rjsmochii @kneel-begyourpardon @taestannie @bisexualmess007 @innersooya @sw33tnight @jin-from-the-block

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stargaze-sunflower · 3 years

Text

More Dewey and Louie bonding!!! Hope you like it!!! :]

Summary: After the events of Emma Glamour's party, Dewey and Louie have a lot to talk about.

Ao3 Link Word Count: 4138

Louie really should’ve known that things wouldn’t go according to plan, but despite everything that had happened to him and his family, he had still managed to hang on to some hope. He was sure that he’d collapse into a puddle of despair and shame if he ever let go of hope entirely, and that wasn’t the type of life that he wanted to live. It was hard sometimes, because hope was fragile, and Louie himself felt easily breakable, most days.

He hadn’t wanted his scheme to be as vulnerable as he was. Seeing the angles was supposed to be the thing that he was good at, the one thing that was his. In a family full of adventurers, he’d thought that he had finally found his place as the strategy guy, as someone the others could trust to be on top of things. Someone that they could rely on, rather than someone they merely tolerated.

Emma Glamour’s party had been a chance to prove himself. A chance to finally show that his schemes weren’t all dangerous and harmful and worthy of getting him kicked out of the family selfish. He had wanted so badly for it to be a success. He’d thought that if he just tried hard enough – Scrooge was always telling him to just try – then it would all work out fine, and he’d finally stop feeling like there was something wrong with him. He’d stop feeling like everyone was always trying to fix the parts of him that they didn’t like.

It was a failure. But then, his schemes usually were, weren’t they? They brought nothing but bad things – caused nothing but trouble. At least The Caballeros got to play at the party, even though they hadn’t made the It List. Even though Louie had done nothing right.

Dewey had been the one to save the day, in the end – ever the hero – and Louie was proud of him, he was, but there was still a pit in his stomach growing bigger and heavier and harder to ignore.

(“You’re nothing new.

You’re not original.

There is nothing ‘It’ about you.

So tell me, why would I ever listen to you?”)

Louie sighed deeply, just the memory of the words enough to send sharp, aching pains bursting in his chest. He gripped the glass of water in his hand a little tighter, trying desperately to ground himself. But just like the rest of the ideas he’d had that night, it didn’t quite work out.

Currently he was standing behind the desert table, leaning against the wall and trying to pretend that he wasn’t hiding. Quite a few of the party guests had left already, but some had stayed to listen to the music that José and Panchito were playing – Uncle Donald had gone to sit at a table to talk with Daisy – and to enjoy the free food. Multiple people had even gone up to Dewey to congratulate him for winning the approval of Ms. Glamour. Something that Louie had not been able to do, at all, in any capacity. But he was fine. It was all fine.

He took a deceptively calm drink of water, trying to stop the rising wave of emotion that threatened to clog his throat and spill out of his eyes. He supposed he could only lie to himself for as long as he could ignore his feelings, and he was admittedly having trouble with that, at the moment.

“Thirsty?” a voice asked brightly, way too close to his right ear, and Louie almost choked on the water he hadn’t been able to swallow yet.

Dewey was standing next to him, smiling widely and rocking slightly on his feet, probably still absolutely ecstatic about the attention he’d received for his yo-yo ‘tricks’.

“Did you sneak up on me on purpose?” Louie asked, half accusing and half resigned.

“No,” Dewey said, grabbing a cookie and taking a bite out of it. “I called your name, like, twice before I got here.”

“Oh,” Louie said, any other possible response having fled his brain.

Louie set his glass of water down on the table in front of him as Dewey popped the rest of his cookie into his mouth, finishing it in record time.

“Still aren’t listening to me, huh?” Dewey teased, although there was something genuinely questioning in his tone.

The knot in Louie’s stomach twisted sharply at the reminder of how he’d treated his brother that night. Dewey hated feeling like he wasn’t being listened to, or acknowledged, or seen as useful. Louie knew that, and still he’d spent most of the night ignoring everything Dewey had tried to suggest.

“I guess not,” Louie replied, guilt tangling in his stomach and crawling up his throat. “I’m really— I just—”

He shoved his hands into the pockets of his suit, but it didn’t bring the same comfort as his hoodie might have.

“I…I’m sorry,” Louie finally managed, and he felt like it wasn’t enough, like he it would never be enough. “I didn’t mean to— Well, I did, but…”

“Don’t worry about it,” Dewey said, waving him off, and Louie glanced at him in nervous surprise. “I mean, I’m not gonna say that it didn’t hurt, because it did. You know how I am with, uh, that sort of thing.”

Dewey rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, and the guilt in his stomach turned into sharp stabs.

(“Look, your plans, your schemes, they only lead to bad things for your family.”)

“But you’re not normally like this, all high-strung and whatever, which— which makes me think that maybe something else is bothering you,” Dewey continued, and Louie gaped at him in shock, his hands falling out of his pockets to hang still at his sides. Dewey’s brow was furrowed, and he was staring at the table in front of them intensely, obviously in deep thought. “And that doesn’t make it okay, but like, it makes it understandable? I don’t know.”

Dewey shrugged, shaking himself a bit before turning towards Louie with a little smile.

“I forgive you, you know, in case you need to hear it,” Dewey told him, and there was no trace of a lie in his eyes or deception in his voice.

Louie had to blink back tears at that, at the pure, sincere way that Dewey had just spoken to him, at the way he just understood Louie and his emotions, and how he was willing to forgive the mistake he’d made, especially when he already felt terrible about it. Dewey was his brother, who could apparently tell when something was bothering him, and Louie was both intimidated by that and thankful for it.

(“If you want to be a part of this family, you’ve gotta stop.”)

“Thanks, Dew,” Louie said, his voice softer and calmer than it had been in hours.

“No problem,” Dewey said happily, and he reached up to ruffle Louie’s hair before he could protest.

Louie glared sideways as he fixed his hair, not actually all that mad. Dewey just grinned at him, but a few seconds later it softened around the edges, and something concerned crept into his expression. Louie winced.

“You wanna talk about what was going on with you tonight?” Dewey prompted, nudging his shoulder lightheartedly, and Louie huffed.

“Not really, no,” Louie said.

“You sure?”

He turned to Dewey with his beak open, fully intending to repeat himself with confidence and grace, but the words died in his throat. Dewey was looking at him too honestly, too concerned, too ready to listen to him when Louie had done nothing but ignore him for the whole night, and it was enough to change his mind. Dewey deserved an explanation, and Louie was tired of lying, anyway. Because apparently - according to Emma Glamour - he wasn’t very good at it.

“No,” Louie admitted, voice strained as he practically forced the words out. “This is just… I really wanted things to be perfect, and I guess it kind of got out of hand.”

Him and Dewey took a moment to take in the messy room and remember the hostage situation. None of that had been Louie’s fault, really; sometimes it felt like chaos just followed their family around wherever it went.

“Why was it so important to you?” Dewey asked eventually. “Like why tonight, you know?”

Louie frowned deeply, brow furrowing as he tried to think of how best to explain how he felt.

“You know how Huey is super into being a Junior Woodchuck?” Louie asked, deciding to just wing it, and Dewey gave him a strange look, but nodded. “Okay, so, that’s his thing. He wouldn’t mind if we did it with him – he even wants us to, sometimes – but if we were better at it than he was, I think he’d lose his mind.”

Dewey chuckled a little, and that was enough to tell Louie that he was still listening, so he barreled onward.

“And then there’s— You’ve got that talk show thing, Dewey Dew-night, and that’s something that’s yours. But if I made my own talk show, like, uh— like Lunar Louie or something—” Dewey snorted, and Louie couldn’t help but smile a bit, even as he kept going almost frantically. “If I did that, and my show was more popular, then you’d feel like you weren’t— you’d feel bad.”

Louie trailed off into silence, and Dewey didn’t try to fill it, possibly sensing that he wasn’t quite done, but needed some time to think.

“I… I do schemes. That’s my thing. It’s basically the only thing I can do—”

(”This is the one thing I’m good at. Why can’t you see?”)

“—and then you kept telling me that you could do more to help, but I was scared that if I let you, then you’d be better at it than me, and if you’re better at scheming then me then what even— What else can I do? I’m not—"

(“You’re nothing new.

You’re not original—“)

“I don’t know,” Louie finished. “I just— I wanted to prove myself I guess.”

“To who?” Dewey sounded like he’d been punched in the stomach. Louie avoided looking at him.

“Everyone, I guess. Mom, Uncle Donald, you.” Louie put his hands back in his pockets, attempting to conceal their trembling. “Myself, most of all.”

“Louie, you— you don’t have to prove anything—”

“But I do!” Louie whipped around to face him, suddenly irrationally angry. He was surprised to find that the tears in his own eyes were reflected in Dewey’s. “Our family are a bunch of adventurers, Dewey. That’s what they do. And I can’t— I—”

Dewey reached out for him, but Louie backed up a step, not ready to be comforted.

“Uncle Scrooge thinks I’m lazy, and Mom thinks that I— that all I do is cause bad things to happen, and I just— I don’t know what I’m supposed to do,” Louie said, his voice ending in a broken whisper, and he pulled his hand out of his pocket for the sole purpose of wiping at his overflowing eyes. “I can’t do anything right. Or—or good.”

Dewey stared at him for a few long, agonizing seconds, and then his trademark expression of determination took over his face, stronger and more serious than Louie had seen it in a while.

Oh, boy.

“C’mon,” Dewey said, leaving no room for argument, and he grabbed Louie’s sleeve on his way by, dragging him along behind him.

Louie glanced nervously around them as he was tugged along, taking note of Uncle Donald, who was still sitting at a table with Daisy on the other side of the room. And speaking of tables—

Dewey stopped next to an empty one. Just like the others it was covered in a long white tablecloth that touched the floor, and Dewey gestured downwards pointedly. Louie raised an eyebrow, which was probably a strange expression on someone who had just been crying, but whatever. Dewey just gestured again, a bit more forceful, and Louie sighed before dropping to his hands and knees. He crawled under the tablecloth and Dewey followed, letting it fall back into place behind him when they were both in.

They were left sitting in soft lighting, on a squeaky-clean floor – Daisy probably wouldn’t have settled for anything less – and Louie had to admit that it was less overwhelming than standing at the edges of a large room feeling sorry for himself; feeling sorry for everything.

“Okay, look,” Dewey said, sitting there in his DJ Daft Duck suit and still managing to sound like he meant business. “You remember when Uncle Donald was racing against Uncle Gladstone ‘cause of that weird luck vampire thing?”

Louie could only nod.

“And he was gonna give up, but you stopped him. You kept him going. You inspired him,” Dewey said, every word said clearly and sincerely. “You’re good at that.”

“Yeah, but—”

“And what about that time with Mom,” Dewey continued, “when you were able to convince her to go back to help Uncle Scrooge and the others stop the moon invading? We may never have left that island – or gotten home in time to help – if it weren’t for you giving her a pep talk.”

Louie exhaled shakily, remembering how stressful that whole situation had been. Dewey grabbed his hand and held it gently between them, even as he kept talking, looking at him with warm eyes.

“You helped Webby when she lost her optimism, and you were able to make her start believing in people again. You were able to help her remember that there are good people,” Dewey said, and he squeezed his hand, smiling gently as Louie blinked against the moisture in his eyes. “There are good people, Lou, and you’re one of them.”

Louie sniffled, wiping at his face with his free hand as he avoided eye contact.

“It doesn’t always feel that way,” Louie said.

“I’ll believe it when you can’t,” Dewey said simply, and Louie finally looked at him.

Dewey was staring back at him with a slightly nervous expression, like he wasn’t sure if he was saying the right things or not, like he was worried that he wasn’t being helpful. The knot in Louie’s stomach and the pain in his chest finally abated, and he tried out a small smile.

“Thanks, Dew,” Louie said softly, and he wasn’t feeling up to a full-on hug just yet, so he leaned his side against Dewey’s and squeezed the hand he was still holding.

Dewey exhaled quietly, his shoulders dropping as he relaxed.

“Anytime,” Dewey told him, and he sounded like he meant it.

They sat in silence for a few seconds, the sounds of the party muffled through the expensive tablecloth. There they were in fancy clothes, at a fancy – wrecked – party, and they were hiding under the table like they used to hide in clothes racks at the store as little kids. Louie suddenly couldn’t help but chuckle a bit.

Dewey turned to look at him, possibly a little confused, but as soon as their eyes met, they both lost it. They sat there giggling on and off for at least two minutes, and every time they’d almost calmed down, they’d make eye contact and burst out laughing again.

“This isn’t funny,” Louie said helplessly, wiping away tears of mirth. “We shouldn’t be— Why are we laughing?”

“Would you rather cry?” Dewey asked, grinning like a loon.

“I am crying, Dewey.”

“That’s good crying, though,” Dewey pointed out. “You’re smiling at the same time.”

Louie shoved at him playfully, and Dewey started giggling again, swaying with the force of Louie’s push before popping back upright.

“I could comment on how weak of a shove that was, but I’m not going to,” Dewey said, with a teasing lilt to his voice, and Louie rolled his eyes.

“How gracious of you,” Louie said, words dripping with sarcasm. “I’ve been insulted enough for one night, anyways.”

Louie leaned back on his hands, finally feeling relaxed and mostly at ease. It was amazing what Dewey could do, really, when he put his mind to it.

And speaking of his brother, Dewey was suddenly being creepily silent. Louie turned to check on him with a raised brow, and Dewey was looking back at him with confusion and a sort of vague concern.

“What do you mean?” Dewey asked, dead serious, and Louie blinked.

“Uh, what do you mean what do I mean?”

“The insult thing you just mentioned,” Dewey clarified. “What did you mean by that?”

“Oh,” Louie said simply, trying to buy himself time to think of how to distract Dewey from the subject, which his brother was picking up on, if the narrowed eyes were anything to go by.

“Don’t lie to me,” Dewey said, somewhere between a plea and a warning.

“Look, it’s nothing—”

(“You’re nothing new—")

Louie cleared his throat and tried again. “It doesn’t matter anymore,” he said. “It’s not even worth mentioning.”

“Your hands are shaking, Louie,” Dewey said pointedly, and he grabbed the one nearest to him to hold it once again. Louie huffed in frustration and glared at his traitorous appendages.

“I’m doing jazz hands,” Louie deadpanned, and Dewey snorted.

“No, you’re not.”

Louie sighed resignedly, and Dewey squeezed his hand.

“Tell me?” Dewey asked, and Louie forced himself to meet his wide, pleading eyes. “Please?”

Louie groaned, tilting his head back to stare at the bottom of the table, because now he absolutely had to explain himself, or Dewey would go around looking like a kicked puppy for days. Louie couldn’t have that on his conscience; it already had enough to worry about.

“You remember when I went to talk to Glamour, right?” Louie began, sitting up, and Dewey nodded. “Well, she definitely had some interesting things to say about what she thought of me.”

Dewey’s hand tensed in his. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“…Like what?”

“It wasn’t that bad,” Louie rushed to say. Emma Glamour was one of the people that Dewey looked up to, and he was reluctant to crush his dreams, and maybe even a little afraid that he would agree with her. “It— It wasn’t anything that isn’t true.”

“What did she say?” Dewey reiterated, and Louie figured that he couldn’t put it off for any longer.

“Just— Just that I was, uh—"

(“You’re nothing new.

You’re not original.

There is nothing ‘It’ about you.

So tell me, why would I ever listen to you?”)

“—that I was nothing special. And not worth her time, or— or even worth listening to,” Louie said haltingly, doing his best to pretend that he wasn’t bothered. “She had me all figured out, and she— she didn’t think that what she saw was very impressive. Or ‘It’, as she put it.”

There was complete and total silence after he finished talking, Dewey unnaturally still next to him. Louie breathed slowly and deliberately, trying to calm his nerves.

Without warning, and certainly without grace, Dewey suddenly stood ramrod straight next to him, shooting up so quickly that Louie dropped his hand and leaned back in surprise. Being under a table, of course, Dewey didn’t make it very far before bumping into the bottom of it, hitting it with such force that the whole thing rattled; Louie very faintly heard a fork fall to the ground a few feet away. Dewey dropped back down onto his knees with a grunt of pain, rubbing the top of his head.

“Dewey, what the—”

“She can’t talk to you like that!” Dewey exclaimed angrily, already changing course to crawl out from under the table. “She just— I can’t believe—"

Dewey continued his nonsensical furious rambling as he made it out from under the table, Louie following behind him frantically, getting the vibe that his brother was on his way to do something stupid.

“Dewey, wait—” Louie grabbed him by the wrist, keeping him from storming off. “She was well within her rights to call me out on trying to con her—”

“There’s calling you out, and then there’s straight up mean—"

“She was right, though, okay?” Louie said desperately, his arm shaking with the effort it was taking to hold Dewey back. “I needed to be taken down a notch.”

“You’re eleven, Louie! None of what she said was helpful, she just— She’s an adult and she said that to a kid!”

Dewey was still attempting to barrel onwards, and he was very slowly making progress. Louie groaned in frustration and leaned even farther backwards to try and slow him down.

“Okay, but— Dewey, what are you even gonna do?” Louie asked. “You can’t just flat-out attack her at her own party, and Uncle Donald already yelled at her ‘cause of Daisy—”

“She’s about to see my yo-yo skills way up close and personal,” Dewey said, almost muttering, and he stumbled a bit from the persistence of Louie’s grip on his arm.

“Dewey, stop,” Louie said sternly, although there was an element of begging in there, too. “Dewey, please.”

His brother finally came to a halt, and though it felt like they’d been going for hours, they’d only made it about five feet from the table they’d been hiding under. Dewey turned to look at him, his gaze fiercely protective and maybe a little lost, and Louie kept his grip on his sleeve, just in case.

“It’s not worth it,” Louie said quietly but clearly.

“Yes, it—”

“It wouldn’t change anything,” Louie amended, and then he tried for a smile, although he was sure it looked awkward. “And Huey would be disappointed in us if you got arrested.”

“Huey would already be throwing punches,” Dewey said, but some of the tension in his shoulders was gone.

“Please,” Louie said lightly, “he’d give a stern lecture at worst.”

“Agree to disagree,” Dewey shot back, shrugging a little, a small smile forming on his face, reluctant but persistent.

Louie huffed a laugh, looking around nervously to see if anyone was staring at them. He ended up making eye contact with Uncle Donald, who was staring at them with his brow furrowed in concern, already halfway out of his seat. Louie grinned, infusing as much reassurance as he could into it, and gave a thumbs up with the hand that wasn’t latched onto Dewey’s wrist like an octopus.

Their Uncle hesitated for a moment, obviously conflicted, but then he sunk back into his chair, shooting them a look that clearly said ‘Be Good’. Louie sighed in relief and turned his attention back to Dewey.

“You sure you don’t want me to avenge you?” Dewey asked, a bit teasing but with an undercurrent of truth. If Louie wanted him to, he really would give Emma Glamour a piece of his mind.

But Louie had had enough drama for the day – maybe even for the rest of the week – and just knowing that Dewey was ready and willing to defend him made him feel lighter and happier than he had been in a while.

“Nah,” Louie said, finally releasing his hold on his brother. “I think we’ve caused enough chaos for one night.”

“Barely,” Dewey said jokingly, and Louie rolled his eyes.

After a moment of comfortable silence, just enjoying each other’s presence, Louie couldn’t help but yawn. Dewey glanced at him in amusement.

“Tired?” Dewey asked, and Louie just shrugged. “D’you wanna leave now? I think Launchpad would come get us if we called him.”

“What about Uncle Donald?”

“I don’t think he’d mind if we left without him,” Dewey replied, jerking his head to indicate where their Uncle was sitting with Daisy, listening to her talk with rapt attention. “He seems pretty busy.”

“He’d freak if we left without telling him, though.”

“Yeah.”

“…So who’s gonna tell him?” Louie asked, and Dewey huffed.

“Why can’t we do it together?”

“Because one of us has to call Launchpad.”

“We can do that together, too,” Dewey said, beginning to grin.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Efficiency, Dewford,” Louie shot back, already pulling his phone out of his pocket.

“Ugh, you sound like Huey,” Dewey complained, but his tone was light.

“One of us has to,” Louie said, dialing Launchpad’s number.

Dewey stared at him as the phone rang, and Louie raised a single eyebrow as he stood with it held up to his ear. Dewey groaned.

“Fine.” Dewey threw his arms in the air, turning away to hide his smile. “I’ll go tell Uncle Donald we’re leaving.”

Dewey walked off, and Louie finally allowed himself to grin fully. Nothing could quite cheer him up like lighthearted bickering with one of his siblings, and no one could pointlessly argue for as long as Dewey and Louie could. It was something that Louie felt was special; something that was theirs. Maybe it was nothing new, but it mattered.

And that was enough.

#ducktales #ducktales fanfiction #ducktales fanfic #dewey duck #louie duck #my fic #louie's eleven #aaaaaaaa #the words didn't want to come to me for this one #i had to fight for every sentence in this fic #but here it is sjaksdjf #i hope you like it #once again it is after midnight #i guess i only write about dewey and louie now asdkjfsj #but i love them so i am not complaining #feel free to let me know what you thought of this :]#thanks for reading!!

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nebula-jazz · 4 years

Text

His World part 5

Dragon Alpha Bakugou x omega reader

warnings: this part has depictions of violence. Please do not report or hate. This is just how I have set up my story.

Your recovery was slow but a certain Alpha didn’t leave. When you were well enough he introduced you to his friends. Or you assumed that they were his friends, he refused to say so. There was a blonde named Denki, a redhead named Kirishima, a pink haired girl named Mina, and a brunette named Sero.

They came and said hello one at a time and at different times. This struck you as odd. You had met Kirishima last and had asked what was going on. He paused, Bakugou had left to go see if you had any meat left in your shead and Kirishima had made sure he was gone. He sighed.

“You can’t tell Bakugou that I told you but...” He hesitated as he tried to find the words to explain. “He asked if we could help watch over your land... That alpha that had threatened is still trying to get you.”

You felt the blood leave your face. Your skin prickled with mild panic. You had to go into town in a few weeks. Winter was ending and at the beginning of spring the king would gather taxes for land, food and protection. And even though your land was separate you still were taxed heavily on food and ‘protection’. King Endeavor was not a kind man to people who lived on dragon land especially since his son had ran off with one.

You explained what was going to happen and Kirishima’s face dropped.

“Are you sure you pay taxes? I mean you don’t live on his land.” You smiled sadly at his ignorance.

“Yes I do. I sell my vegetables in town so that I can have tools and clothes. And because of that he views me as a citizen. He especially knows I exist, since there are so few people who live on dragon land he has a specialized tax for people who do.” You heard a booming growl from behind you. You turned around to see a slightly pissed Bakugou.

“’Specialized tax’? What the fuck?!” You chuckled slightly at his anger. You felt endeared at his obvious worry.

“It’s just a few shekels more. The king claims says it’s for protection against dragons. But I don’t see why he always has me pay more than the other land owners. I think it's because my family was able to get more land from you guys than he ever will.” You said honestly. Kirishima seemed irritated this time. This surprised you because all you had seen from him that past several days was that he had the patience of a saint.

“It pisses me off that we are seen as a threat to everyone. It has been years upon years since any dragon has hurt any human without reason.” He ground out between his clenched teeth. You set a gentle on his shoulder and tried to make your scent calmer. You noticed the visible change of the two alphas.

“I have never been scared of you all. I only met one dragon before my parents...” You trailed off before you shook your head. “He was a decent sized golden dragon. My father said that he was the largest gold he had ever seen. The poor guy was coughing up blood and had a lot of internal injuries. We couldn’t do much. We did what we could before he left in the night and left a large part of his horde. My father said that because of his kindness we were able to live very comfortably and build most of what I have now. We could have had made this building more comfortable and fortified if our taxes didn’t go up so drastically.”

You finished with a sad sigh. They said nothing before you looked up and saw a unfamiliar look of awe on Bakugou’s face.

“You met the great dragon All Might?” He asked in a hushed whisper. Confused you nodded.

“Awesome..” Said Kirishima.

You sat in awkward silence as Bakugou started to cook. A feminine throat cleared and you looked over to a confused Mina holding a paper.

“Some dude was putting this on your fence on the border closest to the town.” Your face contorted into distaste.

“That must this years taxes. May I?” you asked and held out your hand she bounded over and handed the thick parchment over. You read over it slowly as to make sure you caught everything. When you reached the amount your mouth went dry. It was personal letter from the king.

Dear y/n l/n,

It has been brought to my attention that you have been harboring and nursing a dragon on your land. If you do not pay a fine of 300 gold by the last day of taxes you will be tried for treason. As you well know the punishment for treason for omegas is mutilation of all scent glands publicly. And all housing will be stripped from you.

Sincerely,

King Endeavor

“300 gold?” You whispered in horror. Mutilated scent gland ment painful heats, no mate ever, and would end with omega depression before death. You scent must’ve become bitter with your panic, because Bakugou stormed over and read over the post.

“Mutilation of scent glands?! No wonder Deku’s mate was in so much pain.” He growled. Mina’s and Kirishima’s scent spiked at the news.

“I don’t have 300. I only have 15.” You breathed. A sinking feeling settled in your stomach.

“What did it say.” Asked Mina gently. You swallowed hard to try and get rid of the lump in your throat.

“Unless I pay 300 gold I will lose everything except the land and will be tried for treason.” Mina’s eyes brimmed with tears at your next words. “I will be found guilty because the king will be judge and jury... And all my scent glands will be mutilated publicly.”

You could smell all three of their scents turn burnt with anger. Kirishima spoke up. His voice broke in several places as he did.

“They willingly do that to omegas?” His eyes begged for the information to be a lie. You slowly nodded.

“Its horrifying to watch. They did a mated omega when I was younger. They were one of the only willingly mated couple and were very nice. They stripped her of all clothes and slowly destroyed each gland. I remember having nightmares from both of their screams.” The room became cold after that.

Bakugou cleared his throat.

“But that won’t happen. You have enough right?” He said in a very gruff voice. Your throat constricted and you had to take several steading breaths as you stared at the ceiling to try and prevent tears. Your obvious distraught did not go unnoticed. The three alphas started pumping out calming scents as they all turned panicked.

“No. I don’t.”

~~~~~~

That night when you had gone to bed Bakugou paced in front of his friends. He had already talked to Kirishima and Kirishima was currently pacing the border. The three remaining friends watched him silently. Knowing that when he was ready, he would speak, as it was Bakugou who called them. Bakugou would pause clear his throat then go back to pacing.

Anxiety racked his brain even though it showed as anger. He had already made up his mind. He was just worried about his friends reactions. He finally turned on his heel and faced them. He was met with faces of concern and confusion.

“I’m flying back to my horde tomorrow night after Y/N goes to bed. I am not allowing that scumbag of a king to threaten my-” he cleared his throat again his face turning a slight shade of red. “Im not going to let Y/N get mutilated like that.” they all had to hold back laughter. Denki was the first to speak up.

“Your dragon has already chosen them. Hasn’t it?” Bakugou clicked his tongue.

“That’s all I wanted to say. Just protect them while I’m gone.” They nodded as he turned around and headed back into the house.

The answer was yes. And it was the most thrilling and terrifying thing that Bakugou was completely was ok. He started to live for all the small things that you did that he had noticed over the months he had stayed with you. It sent his stomach rolling and shivers up his spine. It sent him running yet wanting more. He was conflicted yet had made up his mind.

He quietly entered the upper room in which he had moved you. his scowl softened slightly as he gently traced your face. You sighed and cuddled into his hand. A small smile tugged at his lips and he tried to get up so he would sleep on the bottom floor. But your whimper of protest and you drowsy voice made his walls crumble.

“Stay...” Was your sleepy request. He let out a steady low purr as he carefully laid next to you. Your body visibly relaxed and you smiled and curled into his chest.

He knew you would embarrassed in the morning, but right now he just reveled in that he could hold you. So he wrapped his cape and arms around you and dozed.

Tags!!!!!

@theteddybearknight @bubbzibubbles @tspice283 @mikithekiki @damnirina @inumorph @staysstrays @tokyo-crow @khemz1312 @mykuronekome @just-mirko @kpop-andanime @just-jazz-things @darlingely @reblogs-of-things-i-like @burntspaghettio @loveableasshole @thrrud @pasteldaze @lexy586

#bnha bakugou #bakusquad #bakugou katsuki #katsuki bakugo x reader #alpha!bakugou #alpha bakugou x reader #alpha bakugou katsuki #abo #mha #fantasy bakugou #dragon bakugou #x reader #mina #kirishima #denki #sero #endeavor

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lightneverfades · 3 years

Photo

What if instead of Sylvie, Loki falls in love with a variant called Lok that looks exactly like him throughout the series, but experiences the same loneliness and devastation of being ‘the dangerous variant’?

When they get to He Who Remains’s fortress, they fight. And what occurs after is all the more... chaotic.

Fic

“Trust me... you don’t want to do this.”

“Oh, I think I do. Can’t you see the TVA has hurt us, hurt you? He’s taken everything from us. And now you want to simply abandon the mission?” Lok speaks and the Loki can see the clear hurt in his eyes. His grip on the sword tightens.

“I know they did. But what if by killing him we risk unleashing something even worse? The balance of the universe is at stake.”

Lok sneers at him, “And when was the balance of the universe ever your problem?”

Anger flared in Loki and fought against the calm he was trying to maintain throughout this conversation. “When you became a part of it.”

“Sentimentality,” Lok spat, “You think you can flatter me? The only thing that should matter is the mission.”

“All I’m suggesting is that we take a minute to think about it.”

Emerald green eyes, a direct contrast to Loki’s crystalline blue, looked at him incredulously. The curves of Lok’s lips curled downward into a frown.

“What was I thinking, trusting you?”

“You can trust me,” Loki whispers, but he could see every ounce of reason in Lok’s face was gone. The act was swift and he had only mere seconds to dodge Lok’s sword before he was making his own move, swinging the sword his younger self had given him for this mission. The mission.

They’d been so adamant on finding out the truth behind Alioth, behind the TVA and who had wronged them. But how could Loki have known that the man behind the veil would not only be the one who orchestrated this whole mess but had also been the one who maintained some resemblance of order?

And Lok... Loki had met him only a few days ago, and yet he felt an infinite connection with the variant like nothing he’d ever felt before. The first time he felt it, he didn’t want to acknowledge it. Lok was ridiculously stubborn, angry and unpredictable, like himself. But he was also sensitive and kind when he wanted to be. Loki saw it first hand when he’d been injured in the blast after their failed attempt to board the Ark. The rubble had fallen over him and it was Lok who had gripped his shoulder and pulled him out of it.

“Stay still, I can’t heal you if you won’t stop squirming,” Lok snarled, which Loki noticed he did a lot.

“I am trying!” Loki protests, as he lets the variant heal the deep cut that had pierced through his stomach. Fortunately it had missed his vital organs, but it still hurt like Hel. And Lok’s magic, whatever it was, was not working fast enough. The green light that poured into his wound knit through the damage.

“You’re not. I can take more pain then you’re enduring under my touch,” Lok spoke, and Loki looks up to meet the variant’s eyes. Apart from the different eye color, Lok was like looking straight into a mirror. Same facial features, expressions, the way Lok furrowed his eyebrows also made Loki wonder if that was how he looked when he was concentrating intently on something. Or the way his lips tightened.

With a final hiss, the wound sealed itself and Loki felt the pressure Lok was applying on his stomach disappear, as well as the hand that had been touching his neck. He felt its loss, the warmth of it, and he felt a little unsteady. It was probably the blood loss, and the fact that they were going to die anyway.

“I don’t know why you insisted on healing me when we’re going to die,” Loki spoke softly, looking up at the sky. They’d dragged, or rather Lok had pulled Loki, out of the city and into an abandoned pond area. Remnants of the meteors from the dying planet about to impact against Lamentis flew straight down, burning around them.

“I...” Lok doesn’t finish his sentence, but Loki can see something in his eyes that makes him understand. You didn’t want to die alone, Loki thought, realizing that he didn’t want to die on his own as well.

In spite of the imminent death that hovered over them, Loki found himself feeling safer and calmer then he felt in a while. If this was the end, then at least I went down fighting...

Loki sees Lok shudder, and Loki gently takes Lok’s hand. The look of surprise in the variant’s face almost makes him laugh, but his smile had already reached his eyes. “I know.”

“We never survive...” Lok speaks, and the defense mechanism, the usual growl or retort at the end of his usual conversation slips. And that’s when Loki sees him, really sees Lok for the first time. The fear, the regret, the pain, the aching sadness of a life unfulfilled. Lok’s entire life from the day he was on the run was riddled with bitterness and disappointment. All of that was absorbed and reflected in his viridescent eyes. “We’re destined to lose.”

“We may lose,” Loki says and he takes Lok’s hand in his, weaving his to the other man’s. That same buzz of energy and warmth he’d felt was back, thrumming through his hand. “But we never die. There’ll always be a Loki. Always.”

Lok tightens the fingers interlocking with his, and Loki feels what he could only imagine was an earthquake shake his entire core. It could have easily been the ground starting to shudder beneath him, but he felt something inside of him blossom in him that was unfamiliar. Warm. Comforting.

And Lok. Loki saw the faintest of smiles finally grace those lips that had been so used to frowning with disappointment.

I wish I’d met you sooner, Loki thought, and that was his only regret as the world roared around them, smoke flourishing from all sides as the meteor hit the planet’s surface...

They would have died that day, if Mobius hadn’t found the strange Nexus Event occurring on screen. “The Nexus Event the two of you caused... how did you do it?” Those had been Mobius’s words as the TVA agents strapped the Time Collars on their necks and pulled them away from each other.

That had been then. And this was now.

“You said you wouldn’t betray me!” Lok screams as he swings his sword with quick precision, the tip scratching Loki’s arm. It was a knick, a warning, Loki knew it.

“I’m not!” Loki shouted and swung to the other side as Lok pulled a chair with his magic and shot it back in his direction, green sparks flying around him.

A frustrated snarl escapes Lok’s lips as Loki appears before Loki and grabs him, locking them together in a tight and forced tangle of arms, each of them holding the edge of their blades right on their necks.

“You’re a liar! You only ever wanted the throne. You pretended to care, but what can you hope to gain from befriending me? Nothing! I’m nothing to you!”

“No, Lok, that’s not true-”

“Then you’d have joined me and we’d have taken him down before he even spoke a word! But you chose your side, Loki. And it’s not with me.”

“Maybe he’s lying!” Loki says, “But maybe he’s not!”

“I. don’t. have. time. for. this!” Lok hisses, pushing forward and Loki grits his teeth, the edge scraping his neck.

“We won’t have time for anything, not if he’s right!”

Lok’s eyes burn him, the ice cold anger that lights up within them causes Loki to flinch. He’s knocked back with a kick to the abdomen and it knocks the breath out of Loki. It’s enough for Lok to run straight in the direction of He Who Remains.

The world seems to slow down as Loki conjured his seidr to appear right at the very moment when Lok crashes into him, his blade slicing through his chest. A pained cry escapes Loki. The sword slips from Loki’s fingers, clattering to the ground.

“Stop...”

Loki meant to reach out slowly to Lok, but his attempt fails as he collapses forward, slumping as the sword still embedded into his chest digs deeper. He lets out an agonized cry, and he sees the anger in Lok’s eyes slip away, quickly turning to regret.

“Loki, oh Hel, what have I done,” Lok whispers as he pulls the sword out of Loki. Loki leans forward, losing his step and he feels Lok grab him. He’s kneeling on the marble floor beside Lok, who’d knelt beside him, holding him upright, his hand already reaching out to heal the damage he’d caused.

“Why are you always in my way...” Loki hears it, very subtly, being spoken under Lok’s breath and he lets out a weak laugh.

“Because you are my way.”

Loki doesn’t think, only acts, as he leans closer and this time, he’s not just doing it because his body feels heavier or colder and was drawn to Lok for the warmth. His lips crushed into Lok’s because he needed it. He wanted Lok, desperately. He’d felt the connection in Lamentis when they were about to die. And he had felt it ever since he knew that they were one and the same. In spite of what fate had in store for them, the universe had brought them together. My Lok, always my way, my path, my alternate future.

Lok let out a shocked breath, and Loki thought he might almost break away, but the relief is paramount when Lok’s other hand finds its way up his neck and brushes through his tangled hair. Lips part and they are well matched in their desperation and desire for connection, the pull and taste of each other irresistible. If it weren’t for the agonizing thrum of pain in his chest, Loki would never have parted.

But he does, and when Loki meets Lok’s gaze, his eyebrows furrow in confusion when Lok looks at him with an expression that puzzles him.

“Loki... your eyes...”

Loki feels a tingling sensation around his temples, and it spreads. He feels the heat, mingling among the pain.

“The universe is breaking apart, kids. Time to make up your minds. Or it’ll make it for you,” He Who Remains speaks from the background. “See? It’s choosing Loki.”

“What are you doing to him!” Lok snarls, and He Who Remains sighs.

“The branches, see, they’re alive. Just like you and me. And they want to be stable. They want a new person that can continue my life’s work. Free will is a lie. It always has been.”

“Lok, no,” Loki tries to grab Lok, but his body was weak. Even as he tried to tug at Lok’s leather bound arm, he knew his hold will not last. The euphoria he had felt moments ago is replaced with dread. Had he done the right thing? What was He Who Remains talking about? Was he being chosen to take over already, even if it meant he was an unwilling participant in this grand scheme of things? Maybe that was why he’d survived...

“I am not letting you become the thing I’ve been training my whole life to destroy!” Lok says and he pulls free from Loki.

This time the sword does not miss its aim, sinking deep into He Who Remains. The man slumps into his chair, but not before whispering the words that caused Loki to shiver. “Got you.”

#ummm yeah so i just wanted to do some tom/tom loki of the kiss so i made this manip #dont kill me #lol #what if loki series #and now i have a fic #I decided to call the other loki Lok haha #not confusing at all hahah #anyways #i figured I'd try something haha #my graphics #my fic

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sterekruinedme · 3 years

Text

It's been a long time (without you)

on AO3

"You trust him. No, it's more than that. It is worse than that! You believe in him."

Barry was still staring at the door where Snart had just left when Iris' voice cut through him. "Iris-", he tried to placate her, but she cut him off. "He kidnapped Caitlin. And Cisco. And he hurts people! And yet you still believe in him!"

Barry sighed. He was suddenly very exhausted. "It is not like that, okay? We have a deal. He even saved my life!" Barry wasn't sure why they were even fighting about this. It's not like he was teaming up with Captain Cold again. Cold had just been there to warn him of Madon and the Trickster.

"Oh yes, he saved your life! And then he betrayed you!"

Barry sighed again. "Why are we fighting about this?", he asked. Iris's shoulders slumped and she finally uncrossed her arms. The fire in her eyes was still burning, but she seemed calmer now. "I just don't trust him."

Barry could feel his lips twitching. "I appreciate the concern. But Cold put himself at quite a risk to break into the house of a metahuman and a cop, so I'm just gonna trust him on this. Plus, he owed me one, and despite everything Cold has a codex. And he hates being in someone's depth. This is probably just his messed up way of saying thank you for saving his sister's life."

Iris huffed but relented. "He was right about the hot chocolate, you know? It's not the same without marshmallows."

Barry couldn't help but feel slightly smug. Leonard Snart had joined the Legends. Barry knew there was good in him. He knew it! The news made something warm expand in his chest. He inhaled sharply when he realized it was pride. He was proud of Snart for doing the right thing.

"What are you so happy about?", Iris asked from where she was sitting on the couch. For one ridiculous second Barry wanted to hide the postcard he had found in the post from her eyes. But then he reminded himself that it was just a postcard. And this was Iris he was talking to.

"Oh, uhm, it's a postcard. From Snart." He couldn't help but fidget as he watched Iris's eyebrows shoot upwards. "Captain Cold sent you a postcard?!", her voice went high with disbelief, and Barry winced.

"Yes?", he didn't mean for it to sound like a question. "He joined the Legends. The postcard is from 1989, I guess he thought it would be funny." Barry looked down at the postcard again, warmth flooding his chest at the caption: I guess you were right. Don't let it get to your head, kid. Cold.

When he looked up from the postcard again Iris was studying him silently. He knew that look on her face and he really did not like it. "He wrote you a postcard. And it is from the year you were born?" Barry could feel his cheeks flame. "Uhm yeah?" The hand that wasn't holding the postcard was now awkwardly rubbing the back of his head. It was a nervous habit he had wanted to get rid of, but apparently he couldn't. It took all of his willpower not to start fidgeting under Iris's scrutinizing gaze anyway.

"Look, I know you don't like him, but it is just a postcard, okay?" He tugged the offending piece of mail into his pocket and crossed the room to sit down on the couch as well. Iris was still looking at him like that. Like he was a mystery she wanted to solve, a particularly interesting piece of information she had not considered before. She looked at him like she sometimes looked at a piece of evidence for one of her articles.

"Of course, sorry. Let's just watch the game, okay?", she asked but her voice was still off. She let Barry pull her close, but he could tell that her thoughts were miles away.

"Barry?"

He had not noticed that Iris had entered the room. If she was back from work already then he really must have been sitting here for a while now.

"Barry? Are you okay?" He hummed and turned to look at her. Something about his appearance must have thrown her off because suddenly Iris hesitated to come closer to him

Maybe he should get up from the floor. His knees were starting to hurt from kneeling for so long.

"What happened?", Iris asked and Barry knew that fear in her voice all too well. She was expecting bad news, the kind of news that would leave him powerless on the floor of their bedroom.

"It's just-", his voice sounded raw even to his own eyes and he couldn't bring himself to finish the sentence. It wasn't "just" Snart's death. He swallowed and forced himself off the floor. "Snart's dead."

Barry saw the moment the words registered with Iris, saw how surprised she was to see him in this state over his dead enemy. But he wasn't just an enemy, was he? Cold had become an ally.

"Oh." Iris was staring at him with that look again and then her eyes flickered to his hands. He was still holding the postcard Snart had written him. "Oh", Iris repeated again and something shifted in her eyes. "He meant something to you, didn't he?" Her voice was careful now like he was a spooked animal that needed to be soothed.

"I-", Barry's first instinct was to deny that, but that would be ridiculous. "He was an ally, of course I care if he is dead. Especially if it is because I pushed him to become a hero." He said, his shoulders sagging under the realization that if maybe he hadn't pushed Snart to become a hero, he might still be alive.

"Barry, whatever happened to Cold is not your fault. He made his own choices, you know that better than anyone."

"I know", Barry mumbled and refused to look Iris into the eyes.

"Why HIM?", Iris had asked and Barry was asking himself the same thing now. He tried to justify his actions with the fact that Snart was the best thief he knew and that time was running out, but he had also missed the older man. He had missed their banter and the slow drawl of his voice and-

And he knew that he could trust him.

Snart proved him right when he refused to let Barry murder King Shark and he knew that he would be grateful for that when the dust had finally settled. The fact that Snart could read him so well, actually knew him well enough to know what he was planning and to come up with a different plan made something warm settle in his stomach.

Barry couldn't leave him in there with ARGUS agents sure to arrive any second and King Shark still on the other side of the door. No matter how much Snart taunted him, he could hear how scared he was in his voice, in the way it shook when he said his name. It felt an awful lot like he had to choose between Snart and Iris, but he just could not bring himself to leave him there. He had promised Iris he would do anything to save her, but he could not do this.

And Lyla just had to call him out on it, didn't she? She might be fooled into thinking that Barry was just a good person, a hero, too good to sacrifice somebody for his own gain. But Barry was not so sure about that. If it had been somebody else behind that door, somebody he cared about less, he might have left them there. He felt sick just thinking about it, but he couldn't stop. He didn't recognize who he was becoming.

Snart hit too close to home when he called Barry on it as well. He had not been sure if Barry would save him and that cut deeper than it should have. "I see the bad in you", he said but it almost sounded admiring. Almost. But then Snart put his hand on his shoulder and looked at him with that intense gaze. "Call me sentimental, but I think the Flash should always be a hero." Barry swallowed and had to avert his eyes, a private smile playing around his lips.

He suddenly wished he could just tell him. Tell Snart how he would die, save him somehow but he knew that that was impossible. "Be careful, Snart."

"There are no strings on me", Snart drawled and Barry smiled sadly at him. He knew how untrue that was, how attached to his team Snart would become. Attached enough to sacrifice himself for them.

He heaved a sigh and turned away from him, suddenly aching to get back to his own time, to get away from Snart's piercing gaze.

After everything was over and the dust had finally settled, after almost losing Iris, after having thought her lost, Barry felt completely drained. He dreaded the conversation he would have to have with Iris. About who he had almost become. He dragged himself out of bed with a sigh.

Iris was sitting at the kitchen table with her laptop, but she looked up when Barry entered. They had been tiptoeing around each other for a few days now, the air between them always charged with too much tension.

"Hey", Barry mumbled, awkwardly rubbing his neck.

"Hi", Iris closed her laptop and took a deep breath. "I think we need to talk." Barry huffed and sat down across from her. "I think you are right." "Look, there is something I didn't tell you. When Snart and I broke into ARGUS, things went really wrong for a second and I had to make a choice. I had to choose between leaving him there to fend for himself and getting back to you." Barry trailed of and hesitated, flicking his eyes to Iris and back down.

"Barry, I am not mad that you didn't sacrifice Captain Cold for me, if that is what you are worried about. Everything worked out and I am fine", her voice was soft and reassuring, but Barry swallowed hard and forced himself to look at her. "It's not that. I-, if it was anybody else, I-" He took a shaky breath. "I considered it. I considered leaving him there but I couldn't. I couldn't bring myself to do it. But if it had been somebody else in there with me, I think I would have. I would have sacrificed them. And that scares me."

"Do you have feelings for him, Barry?", Iris asked after a beat. "Is that what you are trying to tell me?"

Barry shook his head so fast, he was sure Iris only saw a blur. "No, my feelings for Snart don't matter." And shit, that-

That was not what he had meant to say at all. "I mean I don't have any! And that's why they don't matter." Didn't he though? A small nagging voice whispered in his mind, sounding annoying familiar but no-

He would deal with that question later. Not that it really mattered, because Snart was gone and he wasn't coming back and Barry should have warned him, he-

He put his head in his hands and just focused on breathing for a moment before he looked at Iris again. "What scares me is what I would do for you. Savitar only existed because I turned to darkness after you died. I would have killed somebody to save you. Since I was a little kid, I always thought that you would be the answer to all of my problems, that if we would be together everything would be alright."

He smiled sadly at Iris, who was staring at him with sad eyes. "I love you, I do! I just think I was so blinded by the fantasy, so in love with the perfect future I imagined for us that I became obsessed with it and that made me dangerous."

"You love me. You just aren't in love with me." Iris concluded with a bitter twist to her mouth. She had always known him too well. There were tears in her eyes and Barry could feel his own emotions welling up as well.

"Not anymore. I don't know what happened. But I do know that I love you."

"Just not like that", Iris finished for him and Barry nodded.

Iris slid the ring of her finger, the tears were running down her cheeks now. "I am so sorry", Barry whispered, but Iris shook her head. "It's not your fault. You can't help how you feel."

The weeks after the break-up were a blur. Joe didn't understand and his team treated him like he was fragile or perhaps going insane, so he mostly spent his time alone to avoid the pity and confusion and awkwardness.

The postcard had somehow found his way onto his nightstand when he had unpacked after moving out. He had used it as a bookmark at first, but now it was permanently residing there with the text facing upwards.

Admitting to himself that Iris had been right had been uncomfortable at best. Somewhere along the line, Barry had developed feelings for Snart. Sometimes he stared at the postcard and mourned what could have been. But he always shook himself out of it, because no matter what he might have felt, he was still an enemy to the older man. So instead, he focused on figuring out his sexuality.

He googled a lot and found some ridiculous buzzfeed quizzes before he found a forum for the lgbt community. The members were welcoming and open to answering his questions and he soon found a label that fit; bisexual.

Coming out was surprisingly easy. Joe simply hugged him tight and promised that this didn't change anything. Cisco simply said "cool" and high-fived him. Iris smiled sadly at him but gave him a hug nevertheless.

Months later Barry found himself at Saints and Sinners of all places. His feet had somehow carried him to the bar. The same bartender who had been here all those months ago was still behind the bar and Barry sat down with a heavy sigh. The bartender eyed him for a second before her face dawned with recognition. "Oh hey kid, Cold isn't here today."

Barry swallowed and tried his best to smile. No, of course he wasn't. He wouldn't ever be here again. "No, yeah, I know." This was probably a stupid idea. What had he been thinking? He could get into seriously trouble with his boss for just being in this bar. Barry shook his head. "I don't know why I'm here, I should probably go." He hadn't even ordered a drink yet, not that it would make a difference, but he left a tip anyway and turned to leave.

On his way out he bumbed into somebody and looked up to apologize only to freeze. Standing before him was Lisa Snart. She was eyeing him suspiciously and fuck- Barry really hoped that Len had kept his word and also that Lisa hadn't figured it out yet. "Oh, you're Cisco's friend", she said after a moment. Then her smile turned sharper and she cocked her hip. "How is Cisco?"

"Fine, he's fine. Excuse me", Barry mumbled and stumbled out of the bar.

Shyla was just bringing him his drink into the backroom when Lisa sauntered in with unmasked glee on her face. "Cisco's cute friend was just here. You know, the one that looks like bambi? Do you think he might bring Cisco with him sometime? Or maybe I should ask him for Cisco's number if he comes back?"

"Bambi? Oh yeah Len, the kid that bothered you a few times last year, do you remember him? He left when I told him you weren't here", Shyla cut in and Len saw the gears turning in Lisa's head. Oh no.

"Wait. Those bambi eyes. THAT kid is the Flash?!", Lisa exclaimed as soon as Shyla was gone. Len rubbed his temple. He could feel a headache coming on. "Yes."

Lisa had crossed her arms, but she was smirking now. "I can see why you were so obsessed with him. He is exactly your type, isn't he?" Len only glared at her. "Does he know that you are", she trailed off and vaguely waved her hands in his direction.

"Back from the dead?", he finished her question. "No."

Lisa frowned. "Why not?"

Len sighed heavily. He swore he could feel the headache intensifying. "Let him enjoy his wedded bliss before the announcement of his nemesis returning ruins his fun", he drawled but he knew that Lisa had always been able to look straight through him.

"He looked really sad, you know?", she said carefully. "There must be a reason why he came to Saints and Sinners. He could have gone anywhere."

Len knew what Lisa was implying but the thought of the Flash missing him was simply absurd. He remembered the last time he had seen the man vividly after all, remembered the fear and betrayal he had felt when the hero had nearly left him in the cell with that horrifying shark creature, remembered the resignation that of course the Flash would sacrifice him for his precious fiance, hell he had taunted him with his ruthlessness just moments before.

He also remembered the bone-deep relief when Scarlett had turned back for him.

Len snorted. "He is probably glad I am gone." He tried to sound cold and aloof, but his voice betrayed him halfway through. Lisa only raised her eyebrows at him.

"He is not married. He is actually very very single", Lisa announced when she strolled into his safe-house days later.

Len had been on the verge of taking a very much deserved nap, but now he groaned and sat up on the couch. "What?"

Lisa smirked. "He is single."

Len sighed. "Ramon? Congrats. Now, if you would be so kind", he made a shooing motion with his hand.

Lisa's smirk only widened. "No, your little Bambi. He isn't married." Lisa sat down on the couch next to him. "He is very single."

Len only gaped at her for a moment, before he exploded: "I'm sorry WHAT?" For a moment he was afraid that something had gone wrong, that Iris had died. It certainly would explain why Barry had been so sad.

"They called the engagement off a while ago", Lisa continued. "So Iris-?"; Len asked with bated breath.

"She is fine", Lisa confirmed and then just looked at him.

Len couldn't help but feel irritated. So he had risked his life to save Barry's precious fiance and then they hadn't even tied the knot?

"Are you okay?", Lisa asked tentatively. Len looked at her flatly and forced himself to smirk. "Peachy."

Maybe he would feel better if he checked on Barry, saw the situation for himself. It's not like he was worried for the speedster, he just wanted to know what had happened. One little visit to Starlabs surely couldn't hurt-

No. He had promised himself he would stay away from metahumans and heroes. He had no desire to get himself killed again.

"Bambi is here again", Shyla announced as she entered the back room where Len was going over some plans.

"I told you to stop calling him that", Len grit out but the bartender only looked amused. She had known him for way too long to feel threatened by him and they were both keenly aware of it.

"I think he is looking for something." Shyla's tone was poignant. "He isn't going to find it here", he grumbled.

"I wouldn't be so sure of that. Something keeps him coming back. Or someone." Len ignored her raised eyebrow and glared at her. Shyla glared right back. "He doesn't know I'm-", he gestured vaguely, "back."

"Back from the dead, you mean? Oh, that's right, because you had a second chance at life and you spent it hiding away and planning small robberies you never actually go through with. What are you so afraid of?"

Len gritted his teeth. "Thank you Shyla, that will be all."

In the end, Len couldn't stay away. He had never been good at denying himself the things he wanted and he wanted Ba-

He wanted to see what was up with the speedster.

Looking back he really should have known that following a metahuman -and it wasn't stalking, shut UP Lisa- would be a bad idea. Barry had him pressed against the alley wall before Len could even register what was happening.

"Who the fuck are you? Why are you following me?", the speedster hissed, making Len raise both eyebrows.

"Now, now Scarlett. What a very rude way to greet an old friend." Len smirked as he lowered his hood, but he was wholly unprepared for the sound Barry made, a choked gasp followed by an angry, feral growl. "Do you think this is fucking funny? What the fuck are you, huh? A shapeshifter of some kind?", he sounded breathless.

"Hey, Barry, it really is me." Len made sure to keep his voice gentle. This certainly was not how he had imagined their reunion. Not that he had imagined it.

"No, you died. They told me, you-" Barry sounded as breathless as Len felt.

"Surprise?"

Barry narrowed his eyes at him. "Prove it. Prove that you are him."

"I wrote you a postcard. Sent it to you from the year you were born", Len said quickly, still pinned to the wall by Barry, but the other man only scoffed.

"You could have just broken into my apartment and seen it there."

For a moment Len was speechless. "You-" He swallowed. "You kept it?"

Barry's grip on him loosened some, but he was still eyeing Len suspiciously.

Len sighed. "Fine. The last time I saw you, I told you the Flash should always be a hero."

Barry's arms fell lifelessly to his side and he stumbled a step back. "You're alive", Barry whispered and Len laughed because duh-

"And you're not married. What happened there, huh? After I risked my life for your precious fiance...", Len trailed off. He had not been able to keep the venom out of his voice.

Barry flushed and ducked his head. Len observed with great interest as his blush spread down his neck. "Yeah, Iris and I didn't work out."

Len tilted his head to the side. "Mmh, it's a shame really. The least she could have done after you saved her life, was not break your heart."

"She, uh, she didn't." If anything Barry flushed an even deeper shade of red and Len needed a second to catch up with what the speedster had implied.

"YOU broke HER heart?", he all but yelled. Then, forcing himself to calm down and not get his hopes up,"Oh my, it seems like we have a lot of catching up to do, Scarlett."

Barry couldn't believe it. Leonard Snart was alive. They were sitting at a table at Saints and Sinners of all places. Snart had ordered them both a beer, although he knew that would not do anything for Barry, and there was a plate of fries on the table. It almost felt like a date. That thought made Barry want to laugh just a little hysterically. After all, they had been in this exact position before, and that had definitely not been a date.

Snart had suggested this bar to "catch up" and Barry hadn't even thought about saying no. But now the older man was just looking at him, studying him, while Barry felt like vibrating out of his skin. "How did you-, When-, I mean how long have you been-"

Snart smirked at him. "Breathe Barry."

If he heard the way Barry's breath caught at the use of his name, Snart ignored it. "I've been back for a while now", Snart said, but didn't offer any other information. "And you never thought to mention that you were alive? We all thought you were dead!"

Snart levelled him with a cool look. “Why? So I could let myself be dragged into the superhero life and die again?” His voice was controlled, but there was an emotion in his eyes that Barry could not decipher.

Barry shook his head. “No. Just so that I could know you were alive. I was sorry to hear that you had died.” He hesitated. “I missed you, Snart.”

Snart snorted and shook his head. “I know you are a hero kid, but even your heart cannot be so pure that you missed your archnemesis.” There was a playful lilt in his voice, but the same indecipherable emotion was still in his eyes.

Barry swallowed. “You know you were never my archnemesis. That was Thawne”, he said, aiming for playful but missing. “I’d like to think that we weren’t even enemies, at the end.” Barry stared at the table, fidgeting uncomfortably in his seat. Maybe that was all that Snart ever thought of him; that he was his enemy, the annoying metahuman that always thwarted his plans.

“What would you call us then, Barry? Friends?” Barry didn’t have to lift his eyes to know that Snart was smirking unkindly. His voice had hardened. Barry didn’t know what he had done, but he was certain that he had pissed the older man off somehow.

Still, he swallowed nervously and said softly:” I’d like to think we could have been.”

Snart scoffed. “Wake up, Barry.”

“Don’t treat me like some dumb little kid”, Barry growled and finally looked into Snart’s eyes again. He had enough of the older man acting like he didn’t care. “You’ve been calling me Barry all night. What’s up with that?”

For a second Snart’s carefully crafted façade broke, before he was back to smirking at Barry.

“That is your name, isn’t it?”, Snart asked innocently.

Barry huffed. “Yes. My first name. No ‘Scarlett’ or ‘kid’ or even ‘Allen’. You’ve been calling me Barry since we sat down.”

Snart glared at him and shifted in his seat. His gaze flickered across the room, before landing on his beer. He shrugged and drained what was left of his drink in one go, before turning back to Barry. “You really want to go there today, huh? Alright, fine, let’s go there. Tell me, Barry. Why aren’t you married?”

That wasn’t a conversation Barry was ready to have, not with Snart, and definitely not sober. He sighed and looked sadly at his beer, wishing desperately that he could get drunk.

Len didn’t know what he had expected when he had suggested that Barry and he should catch up, but it certainly wasn’t this. Barry looked like he wanted to drown himself in alcohol or run away. Or both. If Len hadn’t been feeling like things were about to spiral out of control, he might have enjoyed this. Still, he couldn’t help but fluster the speedster just a tiny bit more. “Oh, and call me Len”, he said and winked at Barry.

For a moment Barry just stared at him, opening and closing his mouth as if unsure how to even begin answering Len. Then, he dropped his gaze back to the table and shrugged. “Iris and I just didn’t work out.”

Len snorted unattractively. “The love of your life? And it just didn’t work out? Somehow I find that hard to believe.”

Barry blushed and mumbled something that Len didn’t catch. “I’m sorry, what was that?”

He could see the speedster’s jaw clench in frustration, but then Barry finally raised his gaze again and stared straight at Len. Oh, how he had missed the fire in Barry’s eyes. “I said she is not the love of my life.” He shrugged, but levelled Len with a smirk. “I figured out that I wasn’t in love with her. I was in love with this perfect idea of her, but she deserves better than somebody who is obsessed with this perfect marriage because he saw it in a stupid time machine.” At Len’s confused frown, Barry shrugged. “Long story. Anyway, you actually helped me figure that out.”

Now it was Len’s turn to be speechless. He stared at Barry, waiting for the younger man to explain what he had meant.

“You know when the door closed and you were locked in with King Shark, I really scared myself. For a moment I hesitated. If it had been anybody else I might have left them there and-“ Barry sighed, a frustrated and helpless little sound, and raked his hand through his hair, before catching Len’s eyes again. “That is just not somebody I ever wanted to be. It put a lot of things into perspective. Made me re-evaluate a lot of things.”

Len had barely heard the last part of what Barry had said, his mind going in circles. “If it had been anybody else?”, he blurted out, hating how breathless he sounded, but unable to stop it.

Barry smirked humourlessly. “Told you we could have been friends.”

Friends? Maybe in a different lifetime. But Len knew that there was something else between them, something else hiding at the edges of their complicated relationship. He leaned forward, suddenly driven by impulse and desire. “Is that what you want Barry? Do you want us to be friends?” Without his permission, one of Len’s hands reached across the table. Barry gasped softly at his touch, but he didn’t pull away. “Is that really what you want?”

Barry shook his head and pulled his hands out of Len’s reach. In a blur, he was standing beside Len. “I don’t want us to be friends”, he panted and the next moment Len had a wide-eyed speedster in his lap.

“Correct me if I am wrong, but I don’t think that is what you want either.”

Len gripped Barry’s hips tightly, keeping him steady and secure in his lap. “You’re not wrong.”

Kissing Barry was nothing like Len had expected. Not that he had thought about it often. But the meta-human kissed gently but deeply, hungrily but never demanding, claiming him but also making him feel cherished.

Len knew that he could easily get lost in Barry Allen. After all, he had done it before, had gotten lost in his obsession with The Flash. But now things were different. Maybe it would not be such a bad thing to get lost in this Barry, in the Barry that climbed into his lap and kissed him until they were panting for breath, the Barry that had followed him into Saints and Sinners without a single complaint, the Barry that had missed him, that was happy to see him alive and well.

Yes, it would not be a bad thing to get lost in Barry Allen.

#ColdFlash #coldflash fix it #leonard snart #barry allen #coldflash fanfic #flash fanfic #The Flash #My writing

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