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#but Bruh I wrote a lot of bangers about my ex and can't decide if I miss her or if I miss having Big Feelings being reciprocated ✌️
colourmeastonished · 3 years
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✌️
#oooof I'm going through the backlog of my original songs and tryna record them into demos#and it's fun as hell and gr8 to be creating again#but Bruh I wrote a lot of bangers about my ex and can't decide if I miss her or if I miss having Big Feelings being reciprocated ✌️#bc to paraphrase the og fanatasy high guidance concellor: there's a lot of big feelings in the room#a lot of the time I'll take a feeling and wrap it up in a constructed narrative or like write about general themes rather than#specific people or incidents#but I sure did write a song that straight up evokes what it felt like to be deep in my feelings for this chick ooof#can't tell if I should be trying to move on more or if it's ok that there's still this lingering vibe of unfinished business#cos I'm not expecting to get back together but I'm also v aware that she's intentionally leaving ambiguous doors open#by like keeping open channels of communication and making a point of still signing messages w an x#which sounds like an Overthinking thing but it was like... a plot point in our relationship 😂#the presence or absence of an x is very intentional like we've had this discussion#but anyway... I think I just miss her and its weird to know that when life gets back to normal she'll be like a presence in my life again#bc of our shared social circle#and idk what that's going to mean and I don't know if it's going to mean anything but oh boy she sure was cool as hell you know??#and I miss talking to her & making her laugh and sure I'm being realistic idk if we're actually good for each other#but... 🥺🥺🥺... yeah...#gamer girl#my thoughts
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