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#bucky’s court mandated therapy
batcavescolony · 2 years
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I feel like people forget that comics universes arn't the same as ours.
'child heroes are just child soldiers' .....Yeah by OUR definition but in that world are they?
'They should just [a thing that would work in our world because we don't have superheros]' ok but does that exist in their world?
'Why don't they just kill ____' ....because people come back and when they do they could come back WORSE.
comics don't make sense because they don't follow the rules WE know.
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i try to be friendly in the comments of fanfic but racism i can't deal with so 🤷‍♂️
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downbadf0rficppl · 2 months
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exposure therapy
Bucky x F!Reader
Summary: Bucky tends to avoid crowded spaces. He's afraid of something - either being recognised or being trapped or something else. He doesn't know. When you offer to help him get out of his comfort zone. He can't resist.
Word Count: 4.5K
Warnings: Creepy weirdo men (not Bucky), therapy, smut
Repost
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You dipped into the subway, dodging in between passengers - it was rush hour and the subway was disturbingly crowded. You scrambled onto the platform, praying that your train was slightly delayed so you could get on in time. It wasn't.
You stood on the platform as more and more peopled filtered, the noise building to a cacophony of miserable voices. You took a step back, trying to back away from the edge, when a man shoved you through the crowd. You stumbled forward.
A gloved hand wraps around your arm, pulling you back towards the middle of the platform and into a warm chest. You start to pull away, not keen to be leaning into a stranger. A familiar cologne hit you. You’d bought him that cologne. You looked up to see a welcome face.
Bucky.
A vicious scowl was etched into his face, his arm now firmly around your waist. You smile up at him, and he catches your smile, returning it with a soft one of his own. You reach to hold onto his hand as the train pulls up to the platform. You both step on, grabbing onto the bar and jolting as the train gets going.
Bucky leans down to your ear, “You okay, doll?”
His hot breaths elicit shivers all down your spine. You nod at him, unable to push any words out and he looks at your peculiarly. He’s never known you to be lost for words.
You met Bucky once he started his court-mandated therapy sessions. You were the receptionist at the clinic, and you knew Dr Raynor’s reputation for being thorough – although it was your personal opinion that maybe, sometimes, she could take it easy on some of her patients. Bucky was one of them.
You’d gathered a lot from the months that he had been going to therapy. The major thing was that therapy was the reason he was usually in such a poor mood. If he walked in in a bad mood, his mood when he left was positively foul. He didn’t like how Dr Raynor pried – even if that was, in fact, part of the point of his therapy.
You’d gathered that he was quite a lonely man. In fact, when he first started coming to therapy, the fact you smiled at him surprised him. He’d warmed up to it over it, and nowadays, when he came to the office, he greeted you before you greeted him.
You started finding jokes to tell, or little interesting facts – anything to make him smile. You offered sweets to the kids, words of warmth to the adults, and jokes to Bucky. It all worked out. He laughed at your jokes, in the same way the kids enjoyed their sweets and the adults appreciated to the adults.
Unbeknownst to you, Bucky looked forward to seeing you. He was surprised by your smile – but only how beautiful it was. He’d never seen pure sunshine until he saw your face break into a smile. In fact, the sun could go dark, but he knew that the world would only adapt to revolve around you. He knew that his already did.
On his birthday, you were the only person who gave him a present – a rather expensive cologne that you had splurged on. You wanted him to feel special. Turns out you didn’t need to go to those lengths. You were one of very few people who even knew it was his birthday.
Bucky made a point of buying you flowers from time to time after that – and you made a point of hiding them from Raynor. You didn’t want your budding friendship to be another thing she digs deep into. He also wore the cologne every time you saw him, which made you smile. At least he liked the gift.
He got off at your stop with you, even though you insisted he didn’t need to. Something about, ‘it’s on my way,’ and ‘I’d feel better if I knew you got home safe, doll.’ You smiled as he walked next to you, hands tucked into his pockets, leading the way to your apartment. You walked in a comfortable silence, the noise of Brooklyn blaring all around you
“How was it?” You asked, looking up at him.
“Hmm?”
“The subway. How was it?” You knew that Bucky generally got quite claustrophobic. He’d avoided the subway for the first few months of living in Brooklyn and, even now, only took it when he absolutely needed to.
He looked at you, his eyes full of amused frustration, “Could be worse.” He lowered his voice, hoping you wouldn’t hear him, “Was better ‘cause it was with you.”
You smiled, “Call it exposure therapy.”
“Exposure therapy? What’s that?”
“It’s where you face your fears by confronting them head on.” He looked at you, still confused, “You know how you’re scared of enclosed spaces?” He nodded his head, “Well, exposure therapy would put you in an enclosed space – like the subway – to confront your fear.”
Bucky nodded his head, mulling over your words in his head. It doesn’t sound like a bad idea.
You came to your apartment lobby, Bucky following you inside. You told him that this is where you left him, and that you’d see him next week, same place, same time.
You were heading toward your apartment when he stopped you, “You know the exposure therapy thing you mentioned?”
You turned back around, “Yeah?”
“Is that a real thing?”
You nodded your head. Bucky swallowed nervously, not sure how to ask the question. You read his mind, “You wanna give it a go?”
He nodded. You grabbed his hand gently, rubbing your thumb over his knuckles.
“You should probably talk to the professional about how to actually go about it,” you chuckled at how his face darkened at the mention of Raynor, “but I’d love to help you out. Whatever you need.”
Bucky watched you as you disappeared into the stairwell, smiling all the way.
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Just like you said, Bucky brought the idea of exposure therapy up with Dr Raynor in his next session. Surprisingly, she was almost immediately on board. She figured that it would be a good way for Bucky to get out of his comfort zone and confront some of his more irrational fears.
He immediately told you. You squealed – a sound that definitely shocked Bucky – grabbing his phone from his hand and adding your number as a contact.
He changed your contact to 'Doll' – not that it was necessary seeing that the only people that ever texted or called were Sam and Raynor. Guess you were another person to add the extremely exclusive club.
The next morning you dragged him to a coffee shop. Not just any coffee shop. The local Starbucks. You drag him in during the rush hour, holding his hand as he grumbles in the line.
"Did we really have to start this extreme?" He says, gazing behind and in front of him. You squeeze his hand, reassuringly.
"You'll be fine. Know what you want?"
You shuffled forward as another person moved out of the line.
The Starbucks worker sighed as you and Bucky walked up to the front of the line. You smiled at Bucky as he gripped your hand, unassuredly.
"Hi - um - can I - uh - get - uh... -" Bucky stumbled over his words. You ran your fingers over his knuckles soothingly, "cold brew - the smallest size."
The worker nodded his head, "that'll be...-" You drowned out his words as you stared up at Bucky's face. His face was still contorted in a grimace, but there was a glint of pride in his eyes. You gave yourself a mental high five.
Bucky paid for his drink and waited as you ordered an iced caramel macchiato with oat milk. Bucky wasn't sure he knew what any of that meant but he looked in awe as you complimented the cashier and made him blush. You had that kind of effect on people.
You grabbed your drinks and went to sit in Central Park, the sun streaming through the trees as you found a bench. You rested your arm next to his, keeping the contact between the two of you minimal.
"You like it?" You asked, staring him in the face. He took a sip and pulled a face.
"Too bitter." He said, sticking his tongue in disgust. You laughed. He celebrated internally, desperate to hear that sound directed toward him again.
"Really?" I thought you would have liked it. You know, given the dark and brooding look you've got going on." You deadpanned. He shoved you gently and you laughed again.
"Try mine," you said, handing over your drink and grabbing his. Yours was much nicer than his, sweeter and more milk too. He smiled in response and took another sip, "Keep it. I like cold brew." He tried to change your mind and hand you back your drink, but you were adamant.
"Let's play a game."
He looked at you, questioningly.
"20 questions."
He turned to face you.
"Rules are: one person asks a question both answer it...-"
"That's not how '20 questions' usually works."
"Well, that's how it works now. Also rapid-fire: you have to say the first thing that comes to mind."
"Ok, shoot." He leaned back, resting on his arm, occasionally taking sips from the macchiato.
"Favourite colour?" You went first, starting simple.
"Yellow," He said, not really thinking. His face blushed when his mind caught up to him though. You noted that for later.
"Mine's blue, like the sea." You responded, staring intently into his eyes. Bucky's eyes were blue, just like the sea on a stormy day. Easy to get lost in. Easy to get found in. Those eyes told you where home was. "Your turn."
"Ok, umm- favourite hobby?"
"Umm, I like painting. Helps me relax. Used to paint a lot as a kid, probably need to do it more often." Bucky stared at your lips as you talked, mesmerised by the way they move. "What about you, Buck?
"Me? Oh, I like reading."
"Oh yeah? What kind of books?"
"The Hobbit. Was my favourite back in the day. Read it with Steve all the time." He became quiet at the mention of his best friend, and you reached out to rest a hand on his.
"You wanna know my other favourite hobby?" Bucky nodded, meeting your eyes, "Helping my favourite super soldier get out of his comfort zone." Bucky's eyes lit up at that.
You stood up, offering Bucky your hand. He grabbed, faking back pain as he stood up. "Where to next, doll?"
"We're going grocery shopping." The groan that left him made you laugh out loud.
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You walked into the Target near the compound. Neither of you actually lived in the compound, but this Target was bigger than any of the Targets in the city. You figured the bigger the Target, the more likely it was that Bucky would get out of his comfort zone.
He grabbed your hand and squeezes it tightly. You smiled up at him as you pulled out a trolley. Bucky grabbed it from you, hands tightening around the bar. You linked your arm with his.
"Ready?"
"No."
You smirked, patting his arm, "You'll be fine."
You perused through the aisles, occasionally handing Bucky an item. If you were too short to grab something, he'd reach up over your head and grab it for you. You flushed at that - the feeling of being caged between Bucky made you feel safe. Like nothing could ever touch you.
You walked ahead of Bucky, leaning on your tiptoes to grab some eggs from the shelf. You grab the carton, placing it in the trolley. He looks at you lovingly, your cheeks blushing under his gaze.
"Excuse me, could you move?" An old man shoves past the both of you. Bucky's gaze immediately hardens. The old man continues to grumble under his breath.
He moves to say something, but you grab his hand, shaking your head. Bucky pulls you into his chest, leaning to press his lips to your forehead. Butterflies erupt in your stomach as surprise washes over you. Clearly, his actions caught up to him as he froze up, muscles tightening under your hands. He tried to pull away but you keep your face nuzzled in his chest, arms wrapping tighter around him. You smiled as he relaxed into your hug.
He leaned down to whisper in your ear, "Should we get going, doll? More things to buy."
You nodded but kept your hand in his. He smiled as you leaned into him. This was nice. He could get used to this.
You finished shopping, scanning your things through in the self-service. You didn't have that many items, but Bucky refused to let you pay, whipping out the card that Stark gave him, with the excuse that he didn't use it enough - especially, given the amount of money that Stark had put on it.
You were giddy. Your shopping trip was a success - Bucky now knew that supermarkets weren't even half as scary as he thought. In fact, he even smiled at a worker on his way out.
Bucky helped you load the two shopping bags onto his bike, before strapping the helmet onto your head. You could get used to this.
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After that day, you guys went out regularly. You tried restaurants and diners (Bucky preferred diners because it was less fancy and he felt more at home - "haven't changed much from the 40s", he'd said), you tried the gym (or rather, you dragged him to the gym with you on a random Tuesday morning when you had a spin cycle class - it wasn't that bad but Bucky stuck to training at the compound), you even took him to the cinema when they were showing a 'Lord of the Rings' rerun (Bucky almost kissed you when he heard the plan, but restrained himself - there was no way he was scaring you away now).
Therapy with Dr. Raynor became more bearable because it was just another excuse to see you. He'd put more effort into how he looked - combing his hair, keeping his beard trimmed how he knew you liked it.
Raynor picked up on it.
"I see your exposure therapy experiment is going well. What kinds of things have you been up to?"
Bucky stared out the window.
"James?"
He looked Raynor in the eye, before glancing at you through the window in the door. It was barely a shape, due to the frosted treatment on the window, but he knew it was you. He always knew.
"Shopping. She took me to the mall yesterday."
"That's a big step." Raynor said, noting that down with her pen, "How was it?"
"Wasn't that bad. We went into a shop she likes, then she asked me to pick a shop." Bucky looked down at his hands.
You had taken him into Sephora, promising him you only needed to get one thing. You run out of your favourite mascara and just needed to grab a tube. Bucky didn't know what mascara was, nor did he particularly care, but he followed you into the store nevertheless. You picked up the mascara you were looking for but kept milling around, looking to see if anything caught your fancy.
Bucky's hand found yours with relative familiarity, and you pulled him around as you explored. A man from across the shop gave him a sympathetic look.
You left Bucky for a moment to pick up a couple of face masks when the man from across the store made his way over. He patted Bucky on the shoulder amicably.
"Feel for you brother," he chuckled, moving past him. Bucky was confused.
You lined up behind him, mascara, face masks, and some liquid blush that you'd been meaning to get for a while in hand. You paid for the items, wishing the cashiers a good day. When you walked out, you asked Bucky where he wanted to go. It wasn't until you got to the clothes shop that he realised what the man meant.
He'd thought you guys were dating. The thought alone made Bucky want to smile. He gripped your hand tighter and didn't go for the rest of the trip.
Bucky looked up at Raynor and continued, "Then we got food and I dropped her home. Same as usual."
Raynor nodded, "Did it help?"
He shrugged, "I probably wouldn't go again. The mall isn't my kinda place."
"Why? Did something happen?"
"Too many teenagers."
Raynor smirked at that, "Any plans for this weekend?"
"Sam's taking me to a bar. Says we need a post-mission stress reliever."
Raynor nodded, "That'll be good for you, James. Enjoy it."
She stood up to open the door and Bucky followed closely behind. He left, wishing Raynor a good evening, before walking up to you with a smile.
"What can I do for my favourite super soldier today?" You asked, placing the sign-in/sign-out sheet in front of him.
"Maybe consider spending your Friday night at a bar with me?" He asked, nervousness hidden behind his confident facade. This was the first time he'd ever asked you on something resembling a date.
You saw through his front, "Is this just because you don't want Sam to spend the entire night trying to set you up with someone?"
"Maybe?"
You laughed.
"Is that a yes?"
"Sure, Buck. I'll go to the bar with you. Pick me up at 7? I'll send you the address."
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When you opened the door to your apartment, Bucky's jaw dropped. He thought he'd died and gone to heaven and you were the angel waiting to ring him in.
You smiled at his awestruck expression, patting his cheek before grabbing your hand and leading him to the stairwell he had just walked up. He followed you like a puppy.
He fastened the helmet tightly on your head, before speeding down the road, going as fast as you like it. You rest your head on his back, arms wrapped tightly around his waist.
You waltzed into the bar together, Sam's status as the new Captain America making it easy to skip the queue. You grabbed drinks - a cosmopolitan for you and an old fashioned for him. You teased him for his choice but Bucky just smiled.
You looked around for Sam, but he was nowhere to be found "Probably caught up doing Captain America stuff," you tell Bucky, whose eyebrows had been furrowed almost since you arrived.
You drag Bucky to the dance floor after two drinks, and you stay there for half the night, waiting for Sam to show up. You dance and dance and dance, teaching Bucky some new moves that wouldn't have been legal the last time that Bucky came out dancing with a girl. Bucky's phone buzzed in his pocket.
He leaned down to whisper in your ear, "Sam's calling, I'll be back in a second." You smile up at him, continuing to dance once he'd left.
Not minutes had passed, when you feel a presence behind you. Thinking it was Bucky, you turn around to smile at him, only to come face to face with a greasy smile. He placed his hands on your ass, and you shoved him away, walking towards the bartender.
"Come on, sweetcheeks. Let us have some fun." You walked through the crowd faster, not looking back. He was still following you.
Bucky. He was outside, he could help you.
You made a beeline for the exit, hoping that the creep was far enough behind you, you could get away unseen. You weren't so lucky. He grabbed your hand and pushed you up against the door, arm pressing against your breasts. The door gave way as you pushed against the release latch, causing you to both go stumbling outside.
Bucky was right outside the door, trying to call Sam back, when you came flying through the door. He instantly pocketed his phone, striding towards you as you backed away from your pursuer.
You bumped into his chest, immediately pulling away to face him. You relaxed when you saw it was Bucky, grabbing his shirt and moving behind him.
"You can't hide from me, you little slut." Bucky saw red.
He grabbed the guy by his shirt and pushed him up against the wall, flesh hand coming up to slap his face. "Don't ever call my girl anything again, you hear me?"
You preened at 'my girl', hoping that it was true, that you were truly and honestly his girl.
Bucky let the man go as a bouncer came around the side of the building. He nodded towards Bucky, who explained that "he tried to grab my girl, chased her out the building."
There it was again. 'My girl.'
The bouncer grabbed the man by the scuff of his neck and threw him out onto the curb. Bucky turned to face you, hands stroking the side of his face. He looked intently into your eyes, searching for a hint of pain or fear. There was nothing. All he could see was love, radiating from your gaze and warming him from top to toe.
You grabbed his face and pulled him down, your lips pressing onto his. He melted into the kiss, eyes closing as he took over, tongue slipping between your lips as you gasped. A small whimper escaped you.
"Doll, you're driving me crazy."
"Take me home, Barnes."
He practically raced from the bar to his bedroom, carrying you up every flight of stairs. He gently rested you on the bed, ripping his shirt and jacket off in eagerness. He crawled on top of you as you reach to attach your lips to his. The kiss is long, messier than before, teeth and tongue fighting for dominance. You pulled away for air, resting your forehead against his.
He kissed you again, excitement pouring off of him, before moving to kiss down your jaw and in between your breasts. He eased your top off, leaving you in your bra, and kissed down your belly button to the top of your trousers. He asked for your consent with your eyes, hooking his fingers in your waistband. You nodded vigorously. He pulled your trousers down, discarding them against the floor. You took off your own bra, throwing it into the pile of your clothes. His eyes were fixed on your breasts for a few moments before he turned back to your cunt.
He buried his face in your clothed cunt, his hyper-sensitive smell craving the scent of your arousal. He teased you with his metal finger, rubbing circles around your clit. You arched up against him, whines slipping out of your mouth.
Those sounds made the blood rush straight to his cock.
He swiftly pulls your panties away, throwing them nearby your trousers. He buried his face between your thighs, nosing at your clit as he licked stripes up and down your lips. You whined, begging for more stimulation, and Bucky happily obliged. He moved to licking and sucking your swollen clit, the ministrations making you shiver and shake as you call his name, moaning loud enough for his neighbours to hear. Your thighs clenched around his head, trapping his face in your cunt. He watched as your squirmed, eyes trained on your pleasure-ridden face. He grabbed your thighs, massaging them under his hands, liking the feel of the flesh of your ass in his hand. He felt more possessive of you than ever. This was his.
His fingers moved to work their way into your pussy, it clenching tightly at the intrusion and overload of pleasure. He moved his fingers in and out slowly, picking up the pace of his tongue on your clit. You arched your back again. He smacked your thigh, wanting to gauge your reaction - you moaned loudly and your cunt clenched around his fingers. He growled out how fucking good you taste and how good you are for him. Your cunt clenched again at his praise.
"Oh, you like that? You like being my good little girl?" You moaned in response, "Oh sweetheart, I could eat you out for hours. Look at how pretty you are shaking and shivering for me."
His fingers sped up inside you, pounding into you. You came with a loud moan of his name and a shudder, collapsing against the bed in exhaustion.
The flush on your face and your fucked out expression made Bucky's cock impossibly harder.
He grabbed a condom from the nightstand, and pulled off his trousers and his boxers, discarding them somewhere. His dick was hard against his abs, tip red and leaking. He rolled the condom down his dick.
He pulled you down to the edge of the bed, flipping you over. "Ready for round 2?"
You nod enthusiastically.
"That's my good little girl."
He slid into you easily, giving you a minute to adjust to the stretch. He started off slow, but quickly lost control, yanking your hips up to meet his relentless thrusts. The super-soldier stamina mixed with the way you made him feel, made him all the more driven to push you over the edge again. The sound of your pussy when he drove back into you made him groan, your tits bouncing at the force of his thrusts. He reached forward to play with them, flicking and pulling the nubs as he pounded into you. You moaned, your face buried into a pillow as he pulled your hips back against his.
Bucky lifted your back up to his chest, rubbing at your clit with his metal hand, the flesh one remaining on your tits. You pulled it up, curling the fingers around your throat.
"Oh, you're a dirty girl." He squeezed a little, loving how your pussy clenched at the oxygen deprivation. You came seconds later, shaking as he kept fucking you through your orgasm, telling you how you’re gonna give him another one.
He spilled his own load into the condom moments later, pulling out and pulling you into his chest, both of your hearts beating impossibly fast.
He helped you clean up, wiping your body with a wet cloth after disposing of the used condom, helping you into a pair of his boxers, and giving you a t-shirt to cover everything else.
"Not that you need to. I appreciate having some eye candy to look at," he said cockily, holding the shirt over your head, just out of your reach
You looked up at him, hands covering your naked tits, "Where's this cocky energy when we're out in shops, huh? Would've made exposure therapy so much easier."
He dumped the t-shirt on your head and shoved you lightly as you burst into laughter, pulling on the t-shirt before throwing your arms around his neck.
"S'only for you. All for you." He said, carrying you back into bed and wrapping his arms around you, "Always for you."
"Love you, Buck."
"Love you too, Doll."
fin.
buy me a coffee
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wintersoldiersoul · 6 months
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Talking Body
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Summary: Bucky hates going to therapy so you help him feel better when he gets home. Warnings: A little bit of fluff, Smut, squirting, fingering, oral (m recieiving) penetrative sex
You were sitting on the couch reading a book when you heard the door creak open. “Hey baby,” you called out to your boyfriend. He walked over to you and kissed you on the forehead gently.
“Hi.” He smiled but the expression didn’t reach his eyes. He had just gotten home from his court-mandated therapy, an hour out of his day that was always extremely taxing. Bucky sat down next to you and rested his hand on your knee. He still seemed lost in his own head, the way he often did when he got back. “What’cha reading?” He was trying to distract himself.
“Harry Potter. Figured the fall was a good time to re-read.”
“Oh. Haven’t read it,” Bucky sighed. He always came home from therapy sad. It made him think about not only the horrible things he had done, but all of the time that he lost. Your heart ached for him. You couldn’t imagine how he felt, waking up in a completely different world than the one he had known in his youth. 
You put the book on the coffee table and laid your head down in his lap. As if on auto-pilot, his hand started to stroke your hair gently. He always liked to be close to you when he felt like this. “You okay, bub?” You knew the answer was no, but you also knew Bucky wouldn’t open up on his own. Hell, he barely opened up to his own therapist.
“I will be, now that I’m here with you.”
You sat in silence for a few minutes as he continued to play with your hair. You knew there was so much going on in his head and as badly as you wanted to pry with questions and make sure he could talk it out, you knew he didn’t want that. He would tell you when he was ready. He always did. 
“You’re so gorgeous, my love,” Bucky spoke softly, breaking the silence. “My beautiful angel. How the hell did I get so lucky?”
You smiled at him and changed your position so that you were straddling him. You had no intention of anything sexual, just wanting to be closer to him. But as you adjusted yourself on his lap, you felt his hardening length underneath you, unleashing desire within your veins. 
Bucky looked up at you with his mesmerizing blue eyes full of pure, unfiltered love. He loved you more than he ever thought possible. He smiled at you as you kept your eyes locked in one anothers. 
“Hi,” you said, making him laugh.
“Hi, honey.” 
You ran your fingers through his hair and began to move your hips. He gazed up at you, soft lips parted and eyes glassy. “Y/N…”
“What is it, baby?” You smirked.
His eyes still didn’t break away from yours. “Y/N, I love you so fucking much. Let me show you how much I love you, please baby.”
You bent your head down to connect your lips, tongues tangling together as you continued to grind on him. His hands traveled down to grab your ass, squeezing gently before spanking you. His flesh hand traveled between your legs and you silently thanked yourself for the flimsy pajama shorts that you had put on when getting home from work. He pushed the material aside and lightly ran his fingers over your slit. “No underwear, baby? God, you’re so good to me.”
“W-wait, Bucky,” he immediately stopped his movements, not wanting to do anything that you weren’t okay with. “Wanna make sure you want this, okay? I-I know therapy is really hard on you and I just want you to-” you couldn’t continue the sentence because the breath was plunged out of you when Bucky inserted two of his thick fingers inside your pussy.
“Oh angel, I want this. I promise, I do.” He kissed your forehead gently as his hand began to curl inside of you, putting pressure on your g-spot with every motion.
“Oh, god,” you whispered. Your head fell into the crook of his neck and you started to grind down on his hand. The position had his palm scraping over your clit too, sending you into a frenzy.
“That’s it, sweet girl. Ride my hand.” He added a third finger, stretching you open even more. “Feel good, honey?” He teased when you let out a loud moan. You nodded, trying to answer him though your brain was drunk with pleasure. “I love you so much Y/N. So fucking much.” His soft and loving tone completely contradicted the sinful things he was doing in between your legs.
“W-wanna touch you, Buck,” you whined, seeing the outline of his thick erection through his jeans. Your mouth watered at the thought of having him in your mouth.
“Shh baby girl. Cum on my fingers first. Want to make my best girl feel good.” He picked up the speed of his fingers and brought his mouth to your neck. Your moans grew higher and higher in pitch until you screamed, cumming all over Bucky’s hand. “Bet that felt good, princess. So fucking beautiful when you cum,” he said, removing his hand from you and sucking on his fingers. “Tastes so good.”
You pawed at his belt, trying to get it off as fast as possible. He lifted his hips as you pulled down his jeans and underwear, nearly drooling when you saw his cock spring free. You sank to your knees in front of the couch, taking the bulbous head of his dick into your mouth. Bucky’s head fell back as he let out a breathy moan. “Fuck, sweetheart.” 
You slowly took him deeper and deeper, bobbing your head up and down on his cock. Bucky’s eyes fluttered closed as his breaths grew quicker and quicker. You loved making him like this. You loved that you were the only one who could make him like this. This powerful man, an assassin feared by people for decades. And here he was, completely at your mercy. You hollowed out your cheeks, suctioning him into your mouth harder and harder. Bucky started moving his hips up and down, fucking your mouth harshly.
“Oh fuck! Stop-stop, don’t wanna cum yet.” You removed him from your mouth and he pulled you back up onto the couch. Frantically, you both removed your shirts leaving yourselves fully exposed to each other. “Love these tits, baby. So fucking pretty,” he cood, flicking your nipples with his hands. “You ready for me, princess?” He asked. 
“Yes, so ready.” You moved your hand down and lined him up before sinking down onto his cock. “Fuck!” You cried, once he was fully inside of you. Even after so long, the feeling of his cock stretching you out always amazed you. He fit so perfectly inside of you, stretching your walls amazingly. It was like he was made for you. You moved yourself back and forth, feeling the tip of his dick hitting your g-spot everytime. “I love you so much, Bucky,” you moaned.
His eyes were locked on where you were joined together. He moved his metal hand and started rubbing your clit harshly, moaning at the squelching sounds that your wetness was making. “B-bucky!” you screamed out. “S-shit, I’m gonna come! Oh fuck!”
“Yeah baby, that’s it. Come on, honey,” he encouraged. 
A powerful feeling overtook your entire body as you came, soaking the couch and Bucky’s stomach. “Holy shit, baby, you just squirted. Fuck that was so sexy, I can’t wait anymore.” He started thrusting up into you harshly, not even letting your orgasm fully go away before he was bringing you towards another one. “Wanna try something, baby, okay? If it’s too much just tell me.” You trusted him with every fiber of your being. His cold metal hand moved from your clit to your opening and he pressed a finger into you beside his cock. 
“Fuck!” You screamed at the overwhelming sensation of being stretched once again. Words abandoned you and all you could do was moan and scream.
He continued to fuck you hard, the finger beside him inside of you causing you to feel every ridge of his cock even more. “Fucking you so good you can’t speak, huh? Going dumb on me, bunny?” 
Just when you thought your body couldn't possibly feel any better than it already did, he craned his neck up to start sucking on your tit. His tongue flicked over the bud relentlessly. “BUCKY!” You moaned, louder than he could ever remember hearing you before. You squirted again all over him, spraying his body with your cum. 
He fucked up into you faster and faster. “Shit, Princess,” he moaned as he let himself go, hot cum spraying into your body. Before he was finished, he pulled his cock out of you and pushed you down onto your back, painting your stomach with his cum. “So much cum for you. Wan’ you to see how much cum I have for you, honey.” When he was finished, his tongue trailed down your stomach and onto your pussy. He dipped it into your hole, tasting the two of you mixed together. He left gentle kisses as came back up to your lips, slipping his tongue into your mouth so that you could get a taste. He laid down next to you, pulling you into his arms. 
“I truly do love you so much. More than anything in this entire world. You’re my light, Y/N.”
“I love you too, Bucky. I know it’s hard baby. But I’m so proud of you, okay? You’re gonna be okay. You’re so strong. So resilient. And I admire you every single day for that.”
He kissed your head softly. He still didn’t wanna talk a lot, but just laying there with you was enough. 
After round 2 in the shower, the two of you spent the night cuddled together in bed watching movies. As long as you were by his side, Bucky didn’t doubt that he’d one day be okay.
795 notes · View notes
d0wnb4df0rf1cm3n · 1 year
Text
Exposure therapy.
Bucky x Reader
Summary: Bucky tends to avoid crowded spaces. He's afraid of something - either being recognised or being trapped or something else. He doesn't know. When you offer to help him get out of his comfort zone. He can't resist.
Word Count: 4.5K
Warnings: Creepy weirdo men (not Bucky), therapy, smut
AN: I'm sorry I make it seem like the Reader hates Raynor, it just kinda happened. Happy Wednesday y'all!!!!
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You dipped into the subway, dodging in between passengers - it was rush hour and the subway was disturbingly crowded. You scrambled onto the platform, praying that your train was slightly delayed so you could get on in time. It wasn't.
You stood on the platform as more and more peopled filtered, the noise building to a cacophony of miserable voices. You took a step back, trying to back away from the edge, when a man shoved you through the crowd. You stumbled forward.
A gloved hand wraps around your arm, pulling you back towards the middle of the platform and into a warm chest. You start to pull away, not keen to be leaning into a stranger. A familiar cologne hit you. You’d bought him that cologne. You looked up to see a welcome face.
Bucky.
A vicious scowl was etched into his face, his arm now firmly around your waist. You smile up at him, and he catches your smile, returning it with a soft one of his own. You reach to hold onto his hand as the train pulls up to the platform. You both step on, grabbing onto the bar and jolting as the train gets going.
Bucky leans down to your ear, “You okay, doll?”
His hot breaths elicit shivers all down your spine. You nod at him, unable to push any words out and he looks at your peculiarly. He’s never known you to be lost for words.
You met Bucky once he started his court-mandated therapy sessions. You were the receptionist at the clinic, and you knew Dr Raynor’s reputation for being thorough – although it was your personal opinion that maybe, sometimes, she could take it easy on some of her patients. Bucky was one of them.
You’d gathered a lot from the months that he had been going to therapy. The major thing was that therapy was the reason he was usually in such a poor mood. If he walked in in a bad mood, his mood when he left was positively foul. He didn’t like how Dr Raynor pried – even if that was, in fact, part of the point of his therapy.
You’d gathered that he was quite a lonely man. In fact, when he first started coming to therapy, the fact you smiled at him surprised him. He’d warmed up to it over it, and nowadays, when he came to the office, he greeted you before you greeted him.
You started finding jokes to tell, or little interesting facts – anything to make him smile. You offered sweets to the kids, words of warmth to the adults, and jokes to Bucky. It all worked out. He laughed at your jokes, in the same way the kids enjoyed their sweets and the adults appreciated to the adults.
Unbeknownst to you, Bucky looked forward to seeing you. He was surprised by your smile – but only how beautiful it was. He’d never seen pure sunshine until he saw your face break into a smile. In fact, the sun could go dark, but he knew that the world would only adapt to revolve around you. He knew that his already did.
On his birthday, you were the only person who gave him a present – a rather expensive cologne that you had splurged on. You wanted him to feel special. Turns out you didn’t need to go to those lengths. You were one of very few people who even knew it was his birthday.
Bucky made a point of buying you flowers from time to time after that – and you made a point of hiding them from Raynor. You didn’t want your budding friendship to be another thing she digs deep into. He also wore the cologne every time you saw him, which made you smile. At least he liked the gift.
He got off at your stop with you, even though you insisted he didn’t need to. Something about, ‘it’s on my way,’ and ‘I’d feel better if I knew you got home safe, doll.’ You smiled as he walked next to you, hands tucked into his pockets, leading the way to your apartment. You walked in a comfortable silence, the noise of Brooklyn blaring all around you
“How was it?” You asked, looking up at him.
“Hmm?”
“The subway. How was it?” You knew that Bucky generally got quite claustrophobic. He’d avoided the subway for the first few months of living in Brooklyn and, even now, only took it when he absolutely needed to.
He looked at you, his eyes full of amused frustration, “Could be worse.” He lowered his voice, hoping you wouldn’t hear him, “Was better ‘cause it was with you.”
You smiled, “Call it exposure therapy.”
“Exposure therapy? What’s that?”
“It’s where you face your fears by confronting them head on.” He looked at you, still confused, “You know how you’re scared of enclosed spaces?” He nodded his head, “Well, exposure therapy would put you in an enclosed space – like the subway – to confront your fear.”
Bucky nodded his head, mulling over your words in his head. It doesn’t sound like a bad idea.
You came to your apartment lobby, Bucky following you inside. You told him that this is where you left him, and that you’d see him next week, same place, same time.
You were heading toward your apartment when he stopped you, “You know the exposure therapy thing you mentioned?”
You turned back around, “Yeah?”
“Is that a real thing?”
You nodded your head. Bucky swallowed nervously, not sure how to ask the question. You read his mind, “You wanna give it a go?”
He nodded. You grabbed his hand gently, rubbing your thumb over his knuckles.
“You should probably talk to the professional about how to actually go about it,” you chuckled at how his face darkened at the mention of Raynor, “but I’d love to help you out. Whatever you need.”
Bucky watched you as you disappeared into the stairwell, smiling all the way.
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Just like you said, Bucky brought the idea of exposure therapy up with Dr Raynor in his next session. Surprisingly, she was almost immediately on board. She figured that it would be a good way for Bucky to get out of his comfort zone and confront some of his more irrational fears.
He immediately told you. You squealed – a sound that definitely shocked Bucky – grabbing his phone from his hand and adding your number as a contact.
He changed your contact to 'Doll' – not that it was necessary seeing that the only people that ever texted or called were Sam and Raynor. Guess you were another person to add the extremely exclusive club.
The next morning you dragged him to a coffee shop. Not just any coffee shop. The local Starbucks. You drag him in during the rush hour, holding his hand as he grumbles in the line.
"Did we really have to start this extreme?" He says, gazing behind and in front of him. You squeeze his hand, reassuringly.
"You'll be fine. Know what you want?"
You shuffled forward as another person moved out of the line.
The Starbucks worker sighed as you and Bucky walked up to the front of the line. You smiled at Bucky as he gripped your hand, unassuredly.
"Hi - um - can I - uh - get - uh... -" Bucky stumbled over his words. You ran your fingers over his knuckles soothingly, "cold brew - the smallest size."
The worker nodded his head, "that'll be...-" You drowned out his words as you stared up at Bucky's face. His face was still contorted in a grimace, but there was a glint of pride in his eyes. You gave yourself a mental high five.
Bucky paid for his drink and waited as you ordered an iced caramel macchiato with oat milk. Bucky wasn't sure he knew what any of that meant but he looked in awe as you complimented the cashier and made him blush. You had that kind of effect on people.
You grabbed your drinks and went to sit in Central Park, the sun streaming through the trees as you found a bench. You rested your arm next to his, keeping the contact between the two of you minimal.
"You like it?" You asked, staring him in the face. He took a sip and pulled a face.
"Too bitter." He said, sticking his tongue in disgust. You laughed. He celebrated internally, desperate to hear that sound directed toward him again.
"Really?" I thought you would have liked it. You know, given the dark and brooding look you've got going on." You deadpanned. He shoved you gently and you laughed again.
"Try mine," you said, handing over your drink and grabbing his. Yours was much nicer than his, sweeter and more milk too. He smiled in response and took another sip, "Keep it. I like cold brew." He tried to change your mind and hand you back your drink, but you were adamant.
"Let's play a game."
He looked at you, questioningly.
"20 questions."
He turned to face you.
"Rules are: one person asks a question both answer it...-"
"That's not how '20 questions' usually works."
"Well, that's how it works now. Also rapid-fire: you have to say the first thing that comes to mind."
"Ok, shoot." He leaned back, resting on his arm, occasionally taking sips from the macchiato.
"Favourite colour?" You went first, starting simple.
"Yellow," He said, not really thinking. His face blushed when his mind caught up to him though. You noted that for later.
"Mine's blue, like the sea." You responded, staring intently into his eyes. Bucky's eyes were blue, just like the sea on a stormy day. Easy to get lost in. Easy to get found in. Those eyes told you where home was. "Your turn."
"Ok, umm- favourite hobby?"
"Umm, I like painting. Helps me relax. Used to paint a lot as a kid, probably need to do it more often." Bucky stared at your lips as you talked, mesmerised by the way they move. "What about you, Buck?
"Me? Oh, I like reading."
"Oh yeah? What kind of books?"
"The Hobbit. Was my favourite back in the day. Read it with Steve all the time." He became quiet at the mention of his best friend, and you reached out to rest a hand on his.
"You wanna know my other favourite hobby?" Bucky nodded, meeting your eyes, "Helping my favourite super soldier get out of his comfort zone." Bucky's eyes lit up at that.
You stood up, offering Bucky your hand. He grabbed, faking back pain as he stood up. "Where to next, doll?"
"We're going grocery shopping." The groan that left him made you laugh out loud.
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You walked into the Target near the compound. Neither of you actually lived in the compound, but this Target was bigger than any of the Targets in the city. You figured the bigger the Target, the more likely it was that Bucky would get out of his comfort zone.
He grabbed your hand and squeezes it tightly. You smiled up at him as you pulled out a trolley. Bucky grabbed it from you, hands tightening around the bar. You linked your arm with his.
"Ready?"
"No."
You smirked, patting his arm, "You'll be fine."
You perused through the aisles, occasionally handing Bucky an item. If you were too short to grab something, he'd reach up over your head and grab it for you. You flushed at that - the feeling of being caged between Bucky made you feel safe. Like nothing could ever touch you.
You walked ahead of Bucky, leaning on your tiptoes to grab some eggs from the shelf. You grab the carton, placing it in the trolley. He looks at you lovingly, your cheeks blushing under his gaze.
"Excuse me, could you move?" An old man shoves past the both of you. Bucky's gaze immediately hardens. The old man continues to grumble under his breath.
He moves to say something, but you grab his hand, shaking your head. Bucky pulls you into his chest, leaning to press his lips to your forehead. Butterflies erupt in your stomach as surprise washes over you. Clearly, his actions caught up to him as he froze up, muscles tightening under your hands. He tried to pull away but you keep your face nuzzled in his chest, arms wrapping tighter around him. You smiled as he relaxed into your hug.
He leaned down to whisper in your ear, "Should we get going, doll? More things to buy."
You nodded but kept your hand in his. He smiled as you leaned into him. This was nice. He could get used to this.
You finished shopping, scanning your things through in the self-service. You didn't have that many items, but Bucky refused to let you pay, whipping out the card that Stark gave him, with the excuse that he didn't use it enough - especially, given the amount of money that Stark had put on it.
You were giddy. Your shopping trip was a success - Bucky now knew that supermarkets weren't even half as scary as he thought. In fact, he even smiled at a worker on his way out.
Bucky helped you load the two shopping bags onto his bike, before strapping the helmet onto your head. You could get used to this.
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After that day, you guys went out regularly. You tried restaurants and diners (Bucky preferred diners because it was less fancy and he felt more at home - "haven't changed much from the 40s", he'd said), you tried the gym (or rather, you dragged him to the gym with you on a random Tuesday morning when you had a spin cycle class - it wasn't that bad but Bucky stuck to training at the compound), you even took him to the cinema when they were showing a 'Lord of the Rings' rerun (Bucky almost kissed you when he heard the plan, but restrained himself - there was no way he was scaring you away now).
Therapy with Dr. Raynor became more bearable because it was just another excuse to see you. He'd put more effort into how he looked - combing his hair, keeping his beard trimmed how he knew you liked it.
Raynor picked up on it.
"I see your exposure therapy experiment is going well. What kinds of things have you been up to?"
Bucky stared out the window.
"James?"
He looked Raynor in the eye, before glancing at you through the window in the door. It was barely a shape, due to the frosted treatment on the window, but he knew it was you. He always knew.
"Shopping. She took me to the mall yesterday."
"That's a big step." Raynor said, noting that down with her pen, "How was it?"
"Wasn't that bad. We went into a shop she likes, then she asked me to pick a shop." Bucky looked down at his hands.
You had taken him into Sephora, promising him you only needed to get one thing. You run out of your favourite mascara and just needed to grab a tube. Bucky didn't know what mascara was, nor did he particularly care, but he followed you into the store nevertheless. You picked up the mascara you were looking for but kept milling around, looking to see if anything caught your fancy.
Bucky's hand found yours with relative familiarity, and you pulled him around as you explored. A man from across the shop gave him a sympathetic look.
You left Bucky for a moment to pick up a couple of face masks when the man from across the store made his way over. He patted Bucky on the shoulder amicably.
"Feel for you brother," he chuckled, moving past him. Bucky was confused.
You lined up behind him, mascara, face masks, and some liquid blush that you'd been meaning to get for a while in hand. You paid for the items, wishing the cashiers a good day. When you walked out, you asked Bucky where he wanted to go. It wasn't until you got to the clothes shop that he realised what the man meant.
He'd thought you guys were dating. The thought alone made Bucky want to smile. He gripped your hand tighter and didn't go for the rest of the trip.
Bucky looked up at Raynor and continued, "Then we got food and I dropped her home. Same as usual."
Raynor nodded, "Did it help?"
He shrugged, "I probably wouldn't go again. The mall isn't my kinda place."
"Why? Did something happen?"
"Too many teenagers."
Raynor smirked at that, "Any plans for this weekend?"
"Sam's taking me to a bar. Says we need a post-mission stress reliever."
Raynor nodded, "That'll be good for you, James. Enjoy it."
She stood up to open the door and Bucky followed closely behind. He left, wishing Raynor a good evening, before walking up to you with a smile.
"What can I do for my favourite super soldier today?" You asked, placing the sign-in/sign-out sheet in front of him.
"Maybe consider spending your Friday night at a bar with me?" He asked, nervousness hidden behind his confident facade. This was the first time he'd ever asked you on something resembling a date.
You saw through his front, "Is this just because you don't want Sam to spend the entire night trying to set you up with someone?"
"Maybe?"
You laughed.
"Is that a yes?"
"Sure, Buck. I'll go to the bar with you. Pick me up at 7? I'll send you the address."
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When you opened the door to your apartment, Bucky's jaw dropped. He thought he'd died and gone to heaven and you were the angel waiting to ring him in.
You smiled at his awestruck expression, patting his cheek before grabbing your hand and leading him to the stairwell he had just walked up. He followed you like a puppy.
He fastened the helmet tightly on your head, before speeding down the road, going as fast as you like it. You rest your head on his back, arms wrapped tightly around his waist.
You waltzed into the bar together, Sam's status as the new Captain America making it easy to skip the queue. You grabbed drinks - a cosmopolitan for you and an old fashioned for him. You teased him for his choice but Bucky just smiled.
You looked around for Sam, but he was nowhere to be found "Probably caught up doing Captain America stuff," you tell Bucky, whose eyebrows had been furrowed almost since you arrived.
You drag Bucky to the dance floor after two drinks, and you stay there for half the night, waiting for Sam to show up. You dance and dance and dance, teaching Bucky some new moves that wouldn't have been legal the last time that Bucky came out dancing with a girl. Bucky's phone buzzed in his pocket.
He leaned down to whisper in your ear, "Sam's calling, I'll be back in a second." You smile up at him, continuing to dance once he'd left.
Not minutes had passed, when you feel a presence behind you. Thinking it was Bucky, you turn around to smile at him, only to come face to face with a greasy smile. He placed his hands on your ass, and you shoved him away, walking towards the bartender.
"Come on, sweetcheeks. Let us have some fun." You walked through the crowd faster, not looking back. He was still following you.
Bucky. He was outside, he could help you.
You made a beeline for the exit, hoping that the creep was far enough behind you, you could get away unseen. You weren't so lucky. He grabbed your hand and pushed you up against the door, arm pressing against your breasts. The door gave way as you pushed against the release latch, causing you to both go stumbling outside.
Bucky was right outside the door, trying to call Sam back, when you came flying through the door. He instantly pocketed his phone, striding towards you as you backed away from your pursuer.
You bumped into his chest, immediately pulling away to face him. You relaxed when you saw it was Bucky, grabbing his shirt and moving behind him.
"You can't hide from me, you little slut." Bucky saw red.
He grabbed the guy by his shirt and pushed him up against the wall, flesh hand coming up to slap his face. "Don't ever call my girl anything again, you hear me?"
You preened at 'my girl', hoping that it was true, that you were truly and honestly his girl.
Bucky let the man go as a bouncer came around the side of the building. He nodded towards Bucky, who explained that "he tried to grab my girl, chased her out the building."
There it was again. 'My girl.'
The bouncer grabbed the man by the scuff of his neck and threw him out onto the curb. Bucky turned to face you, hands stroking the side of his face. He looked intently into your eyes, searching for a hint of pain or fear. There was nothing. All he could see was love, radiating from your gaze and warming him from top to toe.
You grabbed his face and pulled him down, your lips pressing onto his. He melted into the kiss, eyes closing as he took over, tongue slipping between your lips as you gasped. A small whimper escaped you.
"Doll, you're driving me crazy."
"Take me home, Barnes."
He practically raced from the bar to his bedroom, carrying you up every flight of stairs. He gently rested you on the bed, ripping his shirt and jacket off in eagerness. He crawled on top of you as you reach to attach your lips to his. The kiss is long, messier than before, teeth and tongue fighting for dominance. You pulled away for air, resting your forehead against his.
He kissed you again, excitement pouring off of him, before moving to kiss down your jaw and in between your breasts. He eased your top off, leaving you in your bra, and kissed down your belly button to the top of your trousers. He asked for your consent with your eyes, hooking his fingers in your waistband. You nodded vigorously. He pulled your trousers down, discarding them against the floor. You took off your own bra, throwing it into the pile of your clothes. His eyes were fixed on your breasts for a few moments before he turned back to your cunt.
He buried his face in your clothed cunt, his hyper-sensitive smell craving the scent of your arousal. He teased you with his metal finger, rubbing circles around your clit. You arched up against him, whines slipping out of your mouth.
Those sounds made the blood rush straight to his cock.
He swiftly pulls your panties away, throwing them nearby your trousers. He buried his face between your thighs, nosing at your clit as he licked stripes up and down your lips. You whined, begging for more stimulation, and Bucky happily obliged. He moved to licking and sucking your swollen clit, the ministrations making you shiver and shake as you call his name, moaning loud enough for his neighbours to hear. Your thighs clenched around his head, trapping his face in your cunt. He watched as your squirmed, eyes trained on your pleasure-ridden face. He grabbed your thighs, massaging them under his hands, liking the feel of the flesh of your ass in his hand. He felt more possessive of you than ever. This was his.
His fingers moved to work their way into your pussy, it clenching tightly at the intrusion and overload of pleasure. He moved his fingers in and out slowly, picking up the pace of his tongue on your clit. You arched your back again. He smacked your thigh, wanting to gauge your reaction - you moaned loudly and your cunt clenched around his fingers. He growled out how fucking good you taste and how good you are for him. Your cunt clenched again at his praise.
"Oh, you like that? You like being my good little girl?" You moaned in response, "Oh sweetheart, I could eat you out for hours. Look at how pretty you are shaking and shivering for me."
His fingers sped up inside you, pounding into you. You came with a loud moan of his name and a shudder, collapsing against the bed in exhaustion.
The flush on your face and your fucked out expression made Bucky's cock impossibly harder.
He grabbed a condom from the nightstand, and pulled off his trousers and his boxers, discarding them somewhere. His dick was hard against his abs, tip red and leaking. He rolled the condom down his dick.
He pulled you down to the edge of the bed, flipping you over. "Ready for round 2?"
You nod enthusiastically.
"That's my good little girl."
He slid into you easily, giving you a minute to adjust to the stretch. He started off slow, but quickly lost control, yanking your hips up to meet his relentless thrusts. The super-soldier stamina mixed with the way you made him feel, made him all the more driven to push you over the edge again. The sound of your pussy when he drove back into you made him groan, your tits bouncing at the force of his thrusts. He reached forward to play with them, flicking and pulling the nubs as he pounded into you. You moaned, your face buried into a pillow as he pulled your hips back against his.
Bucky lifted your back up to his chest, rubbing at your clit with his metal hand, the flesh one remaining on your tits. You pulled it up, curling the fingers around your throat.
"Oh, you're a dirty girl." He squeezed a little, loving how your pussy clenched at the oxygen deprivation. You came seconds later, shaking as he kept fucking you through your orgasm, telling you how you’re gonna give him another one.
He spilled his own load into the condom moments later, pulling out and pulling you into his chest, both of your hearts beating impossibly fast.
He helped you clean up, wiping your body with a wet cloth after disposing of the used condom, helping you into a pair of his boxers, and giving you a t-shirt to cover everything else.
"Not that you need to. I appreciate having some eye candy to look at," he said cockily, holding the shirt over your head, just out of your reach
You looked up at him, hands covering your naked tits, "Where's this cocky energy when we're out in shops, huh? Would've made exposure therapy so much easier."
He dumped the t-shirt on your head and shoved you lightly as you burst into laughter, pulling on the t-shirt before throwing your arms around his neck.
"S'only for you. All for you." He said, carrying you back into bed and wrapping his arms around you, "Always for you."
"Love you, Buck."
"Love you too, Doll."
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1K notes · View notes
grace-writes-shit · 1 year
Text
Hopelessly Devoted (Bucky Barnes x Reader)
Words: 3.7K
Warnings/Themes: Domestic Life, Domestic Fluff, Talk of marriage, Talk of having kids, Marriage Proposal
Characters/Pairings: Bucky x Reader, Dr. Raynor
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“How are things going with Y/N?”
He stared at the wall behind the woman. Can’t really say ‘older woman,’ seeing as how he is practically twice her age. But she does look older, he thought to himself. And she likes to nag like his grandmother did.
“Fine. Things are fine.” He’d do anything to be out of this room and with Y/N instead. He’d rather be with her than do anything else, in fact. That’s how ‘fine’ things are going.
“And you two are still doing your own exercises at home?” She questioned him again, her passive-aggressive notebook still sitting on the table next to her. If he were being honest, the exercises he and Y/N did at home helped him far better than sitting in this room with this old crone.
“Yeah.”
“And how are those going?” Question after question. Y/N didn’t need to ask so many questions. She just knew. Granted, her ability to slip into others’ minds helped. Bucky hesitated before giving an answer. If he answered at all the Doc would see that as cooperation and he didn’t feel like doing that. If he lied, she would see through it. But if he told the truth… She would probably see it as progress, and he might be able to quit these court-mandated sessions soon. Truth it is.
“I didn’t have a nightmare last night,” he offered, not quite meeting her eyes, looking at the middle of her forehead. Her eyebrows rose.
“Good. That’s very good.” She paused to observe him; her gaze was cold and calculating compared to the one at home. The one that holds his gaze with so much love and understanding that it makes his chest feel like it was splintering.
“What did you dream about?” She asked.
“That’s kinda personal, Doc.” He hoped the lilt he forced into his voice would satisfy her, trying to imply it was some intimate dream about him and his girlfriend. In a way, it had been.
“This is therapy; it’s supposed to be personal.” She gave him a flat look. Darn. Bucky rubbed his palms on his jeans and looked out the window. He should have just lied.
“James, what did you dream about?” She asked again, her tone slightly softer. “Did you hurt her? In your dream?” She read his anxiousness wrong. Y/N wouldn’t have; even without her powers.
“I said I didn’t have a nightmare.” It would have been the worst nightmare he could possibly have. He couldn’t even bare to think of hurting her. Luckily, he has not had a dream of hurting her. Not after she had laid his ass flat multiple times with just a brush of her powers over his mind. Not after she shoved the soldier back into the basement of his mind when they first met in Berlin.
“So, it was a good one?”
“I didn’t say that.” No, but it had been. It was everything he had dreamed of. He and Y/N, married. A nice house with a white picket fence. The laughter of their kids in the backyard with their dog. And the two of them slow dancing in the kitchen, flour in her hair from baking. The sunlight was soft as it filtered through the lace curtains.
It was everything he had thought he’d have when he had come home from the War. But he never did.
And now that he was getting a taste of it… He didn’t feel like he deserved it.
A tone filled the room, some musical piece to indicate their session was over. It pulled him from reliving his dream. Saved by the bell.
“Well, we’ll pick up here next week, then.” She uncrossed her legs and grabbed her notebook, writing a few notes. He wasted no time to shoot off the couch and make his way to the door, barely mumbling a farewell to the Doc.
“But James,” she called as his metal hand wrapped around the door handle. He paused but didn’t look back at her. She sighed. “You do deserve whatever you dreamt about.” How she knew what kind of dream it had been was beyond him, but her words had his chest constricting.
“Bye, Doc.” He left the room.
Bucky returned to the Compound around lunchtime; he knew she would be in their shared apartment with food waiting. She always ordered the best comfort food on the days he had to see Dr. Raynor. Sushi.
Her singing reached his ears before he opened the door; the sweet sound sent his heart soaring. He smiled as he silently walked to the kitchen and leaned against the doorframe. She had yet to notice him, with her headphones in and her focus on the dough in front of her.
She was an absolute vision. Her hair was up in a messy bun, secured by a floral pattern scrunchie. She wore one of his white t-shirts that hugged her in all the right places, paired with floral pajama shorts. Simple white socks covered her usually frigid toes.
And she was singing like an angel. A song he hadn’t heard yet, though that was not a surprise. But man, did he sure love hearing her sing.
“My head is saying, ‘Fool, forget him.’ My heart is saying, ‘Don’t let go, hold on to the end,' that’s what I intend to do. I’m hopelessly devoted to you.” She swayed as she rolled up her dough, completely lost in her song.
He let her finish her song before coming up behind her, just as she was placing her unbaked cinnamon rolls in the pan to proof. She smiled as he wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder.
“I was wondering when you’d come and give me a hug. You were standing over there staring at me like a creeper.” She chuckled, twisting in his hold after placing a tea towel over her pan. She removed her headphones and placed them and her phone on the counter.
“Sorry, I was enjoying the view too much.” He returned her smile before pressing a kiss to her lips. She grinned into the kiss, threading her floury hands into the short hair at the base of his neck. When they parted, their eyes locked, and he rested his forehead against hers. Their eyes glazed as he allowed her into his head.
It was something they both agreed on. After every session with Dr. Raynor, Bucky would report everything that had happened during the session, including the things he thought about but didn’t say out loud. They both knew it would be easier for him to open up about certain things with her over his shrink, so the issue was never pushed on him to be more open with the Doc.
“Hm… I have to say I agree with her parting statement,” Y/N remarked as she pulled away. “But first, let’s eat. I could feel how hungry you are.”
Bucky forced a smile and helped her set out the sushi she had kept in the fridge until he got home. She had ordered a lot more than she normally did. Probably because of his dream last night. He didn’t show her his dream. Rather, his emotions were so high during the dream that she somehow got sucked into his mind and was living it with him. They had a small talk about it that morning before his appointment.
They ate in comfortable silence for a while, just enjoying the food and each other’s company. This is why he preferred his exercises with Y/N over his sessions with Dr. Raynor. Y/N never pushed him to talk. Never used a notebook as a weapon to get him to talk. She was patient and warm and kind. She understood that adjusting to this new life of his was hard; especially after everything he has done.
Forced to do. He reminded himself. It was one exercise Y/N had him practicing. Just rewording his thoughts. He didn’t have to believe it, not yet, but he just had to say it to himself. Eventually, he’d find himself believing it, she had said. She said it with such conviction that he couldn’t help but believe her. Because that’s how she got herself out of her dark place.
“What was that song you were singing?” He asked after they had eaten their fill and were cleaning up. She nearly dropped the dish in her hand as she whipped her head around to look at him. You would have thought he had slapped her with the look of pure shock and offense on her face.
“Excuse me? What song-? What?” She sputtered and shook her head in disbelief. He gave an incredulous laugh at her behavior.
“Is it really that much of a surprise that I don’t know it?”
“Yes!” She answered quickly. “It absolutely is, seeing as how we’ve known and been together for literal years, now. I can’t believe we’ve never watched Grease!”
She didn’t give him time to question anymore as she snatched the plate from his hands and carelessly tossed it into the sink and began pushing him to the bedroom.
“Dishes can wait! You get your old ass into some comfy clothes while I set up the classroom, because you’re gonna learn just how great of a movie Grease is, and you are going to like it.” Her tone left no room for arguments as she gave him one last push into the bedroom before disappearing into the living room.
He chuckled but did as he was told and slipped into some gray sweatpants that Y/N had once told him were obscene, and a cozy black hoodie. He took an extra moment to grab the large, fluffy blanket from their bed so they could cuddle under it.
When he entered the living room the movie was already pulled up on Prime Video and she was nowhere to be seen. The smell and sound of popcorn cooking gave away her position in the kitchen, along with her singing.
He grinned and tossed the blanket onto the couch before sneaking into the kitchen. She had just pulled the bag out of the microwave and was putting it in the large bowl, two sodas already on the counter. Defenses down. Shot clear. She set the bowl down and reached for the candy in the cabinet. Taking the shot.
Swooping low, Bucky knocked her legs out with his arm under her knees, the other wrapping around her back and lifting her into the air. A shriek of surprise turned into laughter, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling his face to hers. She gave him a loud, sloppy kiss.
“Should we get this show on the road?” He asked when they parted. She nodded and grabbed the bowl and candy and sodas, holding them in her lap as it seemed he wasn’t putting her down until they got to the living room.
He deposited her on the couch and sat next to her, pulling her legs onto his lap, and tossing the large blanket over them. She pressed play and nuzzled into his side. Bucky wrapped his arms tighter around her, kissing her temple.
As they watched, Bucky would ask questions or make comments on the characters. Y/N was happy to see him so engaged and genuinely enjoying the movie. Over the years, she would watch movies with him, trying to catch him up on pop culture. His favorites so far had been the original trilogy of Star Wars.
“Danny is a bit of a tool,” Bucky said out of nowhere. They had been sitting in silence during the prom scene and had finally reached the drive-in scene. Y/N left out a barking laugh at the sudden declaration.
“You know, he definitely is!”
><
By the time the movie ended, it was mid-afternoon, and Y/N was yawning. It was her usual nap time. Her work for Tony Stark and the Avengers usually had her sleeping at random times, just as inconsistent as Bucky’s sleeping schedule, mostly because part of her job was to help Bucky.
“How’d you like the movie?” She asked, stretching out her legs before standing from the couch.
“Definitely in the top ten.” Bucky’s eyes raked up her stretching form, the shorts, the way his shirt hugged her curves, and her messy bun at the top of her head. It all had him feeling like the luckiest man in the universe.
“Only the top ten? Why? And in what place?” She stood in front of him with her hands on her hips and a slight pout on her lips. This was definitely in the top five for her.
“Don’t get me wrong, the movie was great, and I loved it. But I’d probably place it at number six.” Okay, sixth place wasn’t that bad, just one movie away from being top five.
“Okay, so the top three I know is the Star Wars trilogy, and fourth place is the first Hobbit… But what is fifth place? What’s better than Grease?” She crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. Bucky laughed awkwardly and looked away, a blush on his cheeks.
“Nothing…” He had seen this movie a couple of times and he loved it. The characters, the music, and the plot, it was all great. But it seemed… a little embarrassing for him to like it. He was still very old-fashioned and the style of dancing and clothing in this movie had him a little flustered.
“Oh, come on! What movie?” Y/N stepped forward until she stood between his legs and then bent over him, caging his head with her arms resting on the couch behind him. He turned his face to the side, not wanting to look into those inviting eyes.
She could just look into his mind with her abilities, but that would be an invasion of privacy and when she gained these powers, she vowed to never look into someone else’s mind without consent. Because consent is sexy.
“You can’t laugh.” He mumbled, still not making eye contact with his girlfriend. She rolled her eyes but smiled anyway.
“I’d never laugh at you, dear.” A blatant lie, they both knew.
“Liar.” Bucky reached up to pinch her side. She squealed and her knees buckled, allowing him to pull her onto his lap. “Just this morning you laughed at me because I asked where that kid’s parents were.”
Y/N let out another laugh as she recalled Bucky’s reaction this morning to a TikTok she had been watching. Some pre-teen girl was cursing about something wrong in her life and Bucky happened to catch the colorful language as he passed by.
Y/N definitely agreed with him, but coming from the 106-year-old soldier, it just sounded like the most grandpa response he could have come up with.
“Oh, but it was the cutest thing!” She snuggled into him, pressing her face into his bearded cheek. He let out a hmph and tried to turn his face away again. But her hands came up to hold him in place and she littered kisses all over his face. “Please, Buck? I won’t laugh.”
Bucky knew if he looked at her, he’d see those big puppy eyes and he would immediately crack. But her hands running over his chest and neck were having the same effect anyway. He tossed his head back against the back of the couch with a groan. She grinned, knowing she got him.
“Fine.” He hesitated for a moment, chewing on the inside of his lip. “It’s… di…cing..”
She tilted her head in confusion, “Come again?”
“Dirty Dancing! Okay? I like Dirty Dancing.”
Y/N had to press her lips into a tight line to stop the laugh that was bubbling up due to his outburst. She wasn’t laughing at his choice of movie, but just the way he said it. His face was bright red, and he was glaring up at the ceiling.
“Awww, Buck! That’s so cute!” She squealed and smothered him in kisses. He groaned and stood up, dropping her to the couch as she laughed.
“You lair! You said you wouldn’t laugh!” He made to stomp away but she rolled off the couch to the floor and grabbed his ankle.
“I’m not laughing at your choice of movie, I promise! I love that movie, too, Buck!”
“Nope, too late. Release me, you leech.” He began shuffling his way to their bedroom. She wrapped her arms around his ankle and forced him to drag her.
“Never!” She cried in defiance and reached up with one hand to tickle the back of his knee. He buckled and hit the ground. She could feel his panic as he began to army crawl away. She cackled evilly as she grabbed the back of his hoodie and dragged herself forward to straddle his back.
“No! Please! Lemme go- HA!” She had begun her assault on his sides. His scream-laughing had her chest filling with light and joy. It wasn’t so long ago that he never even smiled. So, to hear him let loose in such a way made her feel like the luckiest woman in the universe. To be able to have him like this. To love him like this. She wouldn’t trade it for the world.
Her fingers slowed until they rested along his scapulas. He turned his head to stare at her from the corner of one blue eye. His brows were drawn suspiciously. However, the soft smile on her face had his face relaxing into an easy smile. She leaned down and pressed a warm kiss to his stubbled cheek.
“I love you, Bucky,” She whispered in his ear before standing up. He was quick to his feet and even quicker to pull her into his arms. His lips sealed over hers in a chaste kiss.
“I love you more, Dollface.” He said in between peppering kisses over her face. She smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck, leaning into his affections.
They both lived for days like this. It was a battle getting here, but it was well worth it. The calm that enveloped their cozy apartment, the warmth that filled everyone who entered. The quiet as they lay in bed, and the ruckus of them teasing each other. This was Bucky’s entire world. Right here. In her arms.
They had calmed down and were simply holding each other, both lost in thought of their love for the other. She gently stroked her fingers down the back of his head, letting her nails scrape against his scalp. She could feel the goosebumps rising under her other hand.
He was giving her the same treatment with his arms wrapped around her waist, his right hand tracing up and down her spine. He was so warm against her. She sighed contently against his skin, dropping a kiss to the space his shoulder met his neck. He hummed in happiness.
Oh yeah, he was going to make the dream he had last night come true. The second she fell asleep for her nap he was going to look up rings. And maybe a house. And at the shelter for a dog, or maybe a cat. Hell, he should look at baby cribs while he’s at it.
“What are you thinking about so hard, Bucky? I can smell smoke,” she teased. He grumbled and nipped her neck.
“Rude. And here I was thinking about how good you would look in a wedding dress.” He released her and tried to pull away. “But nevermind.”
“Wait! What?” She tightened her arms around him, preventing him from going anywhere, not like he truly planned to anyway. He was far too happy in her embrace to be out of it for long anyway. “You were thinking of me in a wedding dress? Is it because of your dream last night?”
Bucky stepped closer to her again, his hands on her hips stroking circles with his thumbs. “Well, yeah. Last night was the first time I dreamed of us being married… But it’s not the first time I thought about it.”
Hope and unadulterated joy filled her chest. Not a day went by since she confessed to him last year that she didn’t think of what it would be like to be called, Mrs. Barnes.
“Come here!” She pulled away from him and grabbed his hand, dragging him into their room. He had whiplash. One second he was saying he wanted to marry her and the next she was dragging him through their home.
In the bedroom, she went to the desk and pulled a notebook from the drawer. It was the one she kept with her during briefings and other meetings.
“Do you remember a few months ago when we were in a meeting and you asked what I was doodling?” She held the book to her chest nervously. Her feet were pressed together, fidgeting. He nodded slowly. He wasn’t entirely sure where she was going with this.
“Okay, well, I wasn’t really doodling… I was writing this.” She opened the notebook to a page in the middle and handed it over to him. He took it with shaking hands as hope and anticipation flooded his senses.
Mrs. Barnes <3
It was written over and over again on the page. Some with her first name. Some with her first and middle. She even looked to be practicing different signatures with Barnes as her last name.
“I’m sorry… it’s kinda weird, I’m just now realizing… We can forget it-”
He silenced her with a soul-searing kiss. He was never forgetting this. She wanted to marry him just as much as he wanted to marry her. Her hands dropped the notebook to instead grip his hoodie and pull him in closer.
When they pulled away their faces had matching love-drunk grins.
“I don’t have a ring and I don’t want to let you go to kneel, but will you, Y/N L/N, do me the very high honor of marrying me?” Bucky’s blue eyes peered into her own, bright and hopeful. She giggled and pulled him into a tight hug, her arms now around his neck and her lips against his ear.
“Of course, I will.”
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chennqingg · 2 months
Text
𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 - 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐫
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summary: after staying in Wakanda for close to two years, you and bucky finally return to New York where he begins his court mandated therapy and you begin to learn how to control your telepathic healing powers at the Xavier Institute. Bucky also finds out how your mutant powers were activated.
author's note: the long awaited oneshot for the winter soldier & the healer is here! this oneshot's gonna be a long one, so grab a snack or something to drink, get comfortable & enjoy! i apologize if this took a little while to finish & get to 😭 but it's finally done, this is my favorite oneshot for the winter soldier & the healer, so i hope everyone enjoys 🤍
pairing: james buchanan barnes x fem!healer! reader (featuring a few x-men characters making a small cameo: jean grey, scott summers/cyclops & charles xavier/professor x)
warning(s): some angst, fluff, bucky having a hard time adjusting to therapy, steve assuring bucky, reader & bucky assuring each other, reader & bucky having a hard time being apart, bucky learns how reader's powers were awakened, mentions of disabilities (professor x is wheelchair bound), mentions of traumatic events & death (no one dies in this oneshot), let me know if i missed any!
bucky barnes masterlist ★ winter soldier & the healer masterlist
"How does it feel, returning to New York?" you asked Bucky as you two sat together in the quinjet. Steve, Sam and Natasha came to Wakanda to bring you and Bucky back to New York. Although Steve and the other Avengers would come by Wakanda every once in a while to visit or bring you out on missions for the past year and a half to two years, you really missed everyone and you were happy to see them again.
"I feel bittersweet," Bucky answered, looking at you as he intertwined his fingers with yours. "I'm going to miss the life we both had in Wakanda, but it feels good to be reunited with the team again. I hope we can visit Wakanda again sometime."
You chuckled softly as you placed your head on his shoulder while he planted a kiss on your forehead. The life in Wakanda would also be something you would miss as well, you spent close to two years of your life there after all. You spent that time mostly assisting with Bucky's healing, but you also spent a lot of that time becoming close to him and eventually became his girlfriend.
"You can sleep, doll," Bucky murmured as his thumb against the back of your hand. "It's going to take a long time for us to get home."
"Are you sure?"
He nodded. "I made a promise, didn't I? You took care of me for two years, now it's my turn to take care of you."
You chuckled lightly at his words, then Bucky positioned your head down to his lap and you moved your legs up on the seats. "I'm right here, doll. Sleep."
It took a while, but sleep eventually took over your body and you eventually knocked out. Bucky grabbed a blanket nearby and draped it over your body to keep you warm. A few minutes later, Steve entered the cabin and took a seat across from Bucky.
"How is she?" Steve asked, nodding his head at your sleeping form.
"She's good," Bucky replied, running his fingers through your hair. "I told her to sleep, she needs it."
Steve nodded, then remembered something that came from the back of his mind. "So, about her healing powers..."
"She protected my mind from the Winter Soldier," Bucky explained. "It's complicated, but I don't want anyone to see her in a bad light just because she's a mutant."
"We'll help her find resources to help her control her new powers," Steve assured Bucky. "For me, she's still the same Y/N that joined us. Mutant or not, she still saved your life, she protected you from being mind controlled. She's still the same Y/N who worked as a nurse for the army until she joined S.H.I.E.L.D and the Avengers. She can heal the mind with her mutant powers and she can heal the wounded with her experience as a nurse from the army."
Bucky smiled at Steve. "Thanks."
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You opened your eyes, trying to adjust your eyes to the sunlight that was peeking through the sheer white curtains. You weren’t inside of the quinjet anymore, you were in the comfort of a soft bed with arms wrapped around your body from behind. You slowly shifted your body to glance at the person sleeping next to you and you smiled, seeing Bucky's sleeping face.
Bucky felt you shift and he opened his eyes as well, he chuckled as he tightened his grip around you.
"Morning James," you said groggily. "When did we get back?"
"We got back yesterday night," Bucky answered as he nuzzled his face closer to yours. "You were knocked out cold the entire time and I didn't want to wake you up, so I carried you back inside the compound."
You let out a tired giggle as you leaned into his touch. "You didn't have to, baby. But I know you wanted to."
"You know me too well," he chuckled, pressing a soft kiss into your hair.
"Come on, let's get out of bed," you said, changing the subject as you attempt to wiggle yourself out of his tight grip on you. "I wanna take a shower since I couldn't do that when we got back."
Bucky whined when you managed to wiggle yourself out of his arms, he quickly grabbed your arm to pull you back into his arms. "Buckyyy!" you squealed as he had you lay back down on the bed, this time facing him.
"It's too early..." he whined, his head now resting against your collarbones and chest.
"James, we have to get up," you told him as you ran your fingers through his hair. "I wanna stay in bed too, but we should get up before Cap comes in to drag us out of bed."
Bucky let out a huff as he finally let you go, he had his grumpy face on when you sat back up. To cheer him up, you turned back to him kissed the tip of his nose softly. "I'm sorry, baby," you said as you removed the comforters off of you. "I'll make it up to you later tonight, I promise. You'll get extra cuddles from me tonight."
Bucky smirked as he moved to sit up on the bed. "I can't wait, doll."
After you showered, you returned to your room to get yourself dressed. Since you just returned back to the compound after two years of staying in Wakanda, you opted to slip on a black crewneck with matching black sweatpants for the day with white slip-on cloud slippers to stay comfortable.
Before you left your room, you heard your phone buzz in the pocket of your sweatpants. Pulling your phone out, it was a text from Bucky.
Hi doll. When you're done getting ready, Steve wants to talk to you in one of the conference rooms. I'm currently at my court-mandated therapy session, so I won't see you for a couple of hours. I love & miss you doll. - Bucky
You smiled at the message that he sent you, combined with so much love and care. Although you were a little disheartened that you wouldn't see him for a few hours, but it was a requirement for him to go to these therapy sessions to help him with his mind since you already had a lot on your hands, discovering the fact that you were a mutant (at a later age) and learning how to control your powers properly.
Then, remembering what he said about Steve in the text, you rushed down to the floor where the conference rooms were located. Steve was seated in one of the rooms and you gently knocked on the glass door to get his attention. Steve lifted his head up from looking as his phone and motioned you to come inside.
"Sorry if I kept you waiting," you apologized as you pulled out a chair to sit next to him.
"It's alright," Steve replied. "So...about your mutant powers, I had Tony help me find some resources for your powers."
You tilted your head slightly. "Resources for my powers?"
He nodded. "Yeah, we found one in New York. They commonly work with young mutants, but they make exceptions for other individuals who discovered their powers at a later age."
"Ah, I think I know what you're talking about," you recalled. "Is it called the Xavier Institute?"
"Yup," Steve said, popping the p. "It's your choice if you want to have that extra resource to control your powers. We're not forcing you by any-"
"I want to go," you answered, interrupting him and jumping at the opportunity. "These telepathic healing powers are something that's new to me, so if I can take the opportunity to learn and master it, then I'll take the chance."
Steve smiled as he placed a hand to pat the top of your head. "I'm glad you're taking this chance to do something for yourself. If you need any of us, just let us know."
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Returning to the compound, Bucky sighed as he slumped his body on the couch. It was his first day of court-mandated therapy and he clearly didn't enjoy the session at all. As he leaned his head back and rested his eyes, a familiar voice rang in his ears.
"Is everything alright, Buck?"
Bucky sighed again as he leaned his head forward again to face Steve. He let out a huff as he crossed his arms. "I guess you can say that."
Steve sauntered over to the couch and sat next to Bucky, placing his hand on his shoulder. "What's wrong?" Steve asked him again, trying to break down his walls.
"I didn't enjoy the first session," Bucky huffed. "I know it's the first day and it's supposed to help me, but I'm not enjoying this."
"Look, I understand you're going through a hard time," Steve spoke to him. "After coming home from Wakanda after two years isn't going to be an easy adjustment. But if there's one person that you need to do it for, do it for Y/N. She has so much faith and hope in you to feel and get better, even when you two barely even knew each other."
Bucky smiled at the mention of your name along with the faith and hope you had in him. He recalled the words you said to him after one of his worst nightmares in Wakanda:
"I have faith that you can finally be free. Free to make your own choices without anyone having control over you. Even if no one believes that you're capable of your own freedom, then let me be the first person who will believe in you."
"I still remember the words she said to me," Bucky replied as his lips curled up into a smile, recalling the memory he had with you during that specific night. "We barely knew each other then, and yet she still believed in me."
Steve smiled as he pat him on the shoulder. "Just remember those words that she said to you. She's been the main supporter in your healing, not just in Wakanda, here too with your court-mandated therapy sessions. But it's not only you who needs support, You need to provide support for her too, for her mutant powers."
Bucky nodded at Steve. "Thanks, I needed this. So, are we allowed to visit her at the Xavier Institute at all?"
"Yeah," Steve answered with a nod. "She's going to have to spend a couple of months at the Xavier Institute, so she's going to be living there temporarily to focus on learning more about her mutant powers."
Bucky's heart dropped as he heard that you were going to be living at the Xavier Institute for a uncertain amount of time. He wished that you could stay at the compound with him and the rest of the team. However, another part of him said that it was best for you to stay there since that was one of the main sources where you could have help with your abilities.
"Alright," Bucky breathed out. "There's still time, so I'll pay her a visit."
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Slowing down his motorcycle in the large driveway, Bucky was in front of the large estate of the Xavier Institute. He turned off his motorcycle, took off his helmet and sauntered over to the front doors of the estate. He took a breath before gently knocking on the large wooden doors in front of him.
It didn't take long for someone to answer the door, it was a young woman with long, red hair who greeted him at the door.
"Hi, are you here for someone?" she asked.
"Y-Yeah," Bucky answered nervously. "I'm here to visit Y/N L/N, she's my girlfriend."
"Oh, come on in," she replied, making space for Bucky to enter the estate. "Please wait in the living room, I'll go get her. By the way, I'm Jean."
"I'm Bucky," he greeted back as they both shook each other's hands.
Bucky watched as the red-haired woman shut the front door behind them, Jean then sauntered upstairs to the second floor as Bucky made his way to the living room of the estate. He took a seat on one of the couches as he placed his helmet down on one of the end tables near the couch he was seated on.
A few minutes later, you entered the living room and your E/C eyes lit up when you saw Bucky. You sprinted over to him and jumped onto his lap, straddling his lap as you wrapped your arms around him.
"Hi Jamie!" you squealed as you tightened your arms around his neck and shoulders.
Chuckling, Bucky wrapped his arms around your waist as he inhaled your scent. "Hi doll, I missed you."
You pulled away from Bucky as you pecked his lips. "I missed you too. How was the first day of your therapy session?"
Bucky sighed as his hands settled onto the curves of your waist. "It was hard, baby. I don't know if I can do this..."
You ran your hands through his hair as you pressed your lips against his again. "I know you can do it, James. It's only the first day and I understand that it's hard, but I have faith and hope that you can not only heal yourself, but heal the victims who need closure about their loved ones. It's not going to be easy, but I promise that I'll support you through all of it."
Bucky's eyes welled up with tears as he wrapped his arms around you again to pull you into another hug. "You're truly the best girlfriend I could ever ask for. You're focusing on your powers, trying to learn the true extent of it, and yet...you're still my number one supporter."
"Hey, you're supporting me too," you reminded him, hugging him tighter. "I'm still learning more about my powers, and I'm still struggling on how to use them. But, I have the best boyfriend I could ever ask for to support me."
You broke the hug again as you used the pads of your thumb to wipe the small tears that Bucky shed. It broke your heart to see him cry, but you loved that he was expressing his emotions, especially when he couldn't do so for years. Looking at the time, Bucky stood from the couch with you in his arms, he put you down as soon as he was able to stand.
"It's getting late, doll," Bucky stated as he grabbed his motorcycle helmet. "I have to get back to the compound."
Your lips formed into a pout when he told you that he was leaving, Bucky couldn't help but chuckle at your cute look. He pulled you into another hug. "I know it's going to be hard, baby, I know. I'll come visit you when I have the chance to, I promise."
You nodded when he pulled away from you, his heart broke when he saw tears rolling down from your watery eyes. Bucky used the pads of his thumbs to wipe your tears away.
"It's going to be okay," Bucky assured you as he pressed his lips against your forehead. "You and I can do this together, before we know it, we'll be back together."
"Yeah," you said through your light sobs as your lips slowly curled up into a smile.
As you led Bucky to the foyer of the estate, you were just about to open the door before a familiar voice called for you from the top of the stairs.
"Y/N, the professor would like to speak with Mr. Barnes before he leaves."
You turned around to see who the voice belonged to, and the voice belonged to Jean, who was standing at the top of the stairs with Scott by her side. "Oh, alright then," you replied. "Tell the professor that we'll be there."
Jean nodded as she and Scott sauntered away. Bucky's eyebrow was raised in confusion as you led him upstairs to the second floor of the estate.
"Who's the professor?" Bucky asked you as you two continued walking.
"His name is Charles Xavier, we usually just call him professor," you explained to him as you were trying to remember the way to the professor's office. "His family has owned this residence for generations, but he decided to turn this estate into a place where it could help young teenage mutants or mutants who discovered their powers at a later age."
Bucky let out a quiet 'oh' and once you two reached the professor's office, you gently knocked on the door.
"Come in," the voice from the other side of the door responded.
You placed your hand on the doorknob and opened the door to the professor's office, he was seated in his wheelchair as he looked through a few papers on his desk. Once you and Bucky finally entered his office, he lifted his head up from all the papers to focus his attention onto the both of you.
"You must be James Barnes, correct?" he asked.
Bucky nodded. "Yes sir."
"Y/N, may I please ask you to leave my office?" Professor X requested. "I would like to speak with Mr. Barnes privately."
Without questioning the professor, you simply nodded and sauntered your way out of his office, shutting the door behind you to give them privacy.
"Is there...something wrong at all?" Bucky asked him.
Professor X shook his head. "No, but I need to tell you something. It relates to Y/N's powers and how it was activated. Usually, mutant powers are activated at a young age, mostly around the time when teens hit puberty. But, there are exceptions where mutants don't discover their powers until a later age."
Bucky nodded in response, signaling the professor to continue.
"For Y/N, she's seen several traumatic events in her life, considering her background in the military as a nurse. However, her powers were never activated when she was in the military."
"How did her powers activate?"
Professor X cleared his throat before looking at Bucky's eyes. "Her healing telepathic powers were activated when she witnessed you turning into the Winter Soldier."
Bucky's eyes widened in shock. "W-What?"
"Similar to Jean, her powers were traumatically awakened when she witnessed a close friend's death," Professor X explains. "Y/N must've saw how much pain you were in when you were being turned into the Winter Soldier, which in turn traumatically awakened her healing telepathic powers to stop you from being brainwashed into the Winter Soldier at the last second."
For a moment, Bucky felt as if he couldn't speak. Knowing that he was the one who inadvertently activated your powers shocked him. Yet, at the same time, it made him appreciate you even more. His lips curled up into a small smile when he remembered the times you stopped him from being brainwashed into the Winter Soldier.
"So, Y/N has the ability to prevent someone from being brainwashed?" Bucky inquired.
"For now, yes. However, I do believe that her powers can be more," Professor X answered. "I'll do the best of my ability to help her adapt to her powers since I, too, have telepathic powers myself along with Jean. You don't need to worry about her, Y/N is in good hands."
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scoonsalicious · 17 days
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Unwanted: Chapter 3, Unbidden - Pt. 1
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader
Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.
Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, alcohol consumption, minor discussions of sex, drunk!Bucky, minor violence, FloRida's Low (that song slaps, okay?), minor anti-Winter Soldier sentiment, an unnecessary Ted Bundy reference just because. As always, let me know if I missed anything!
Word Count: 4.1k
Previously On...: You and Bucky had a heart-to-heart after you came back from your mission with Steve, and Bucky asked a very interesting question about the nature of your relationship with the Star Spangled Man.
A/N: I just finished writing Chapter 9 ahead of schedule, so here is Chapter 3 a little bit earlier than I planned on posting it! Consider it in honor of Sergeant Barnes' 107th Birthday! This is my favorite chapter; I had so much fun writing it, this part in particular (even though it took me a million tries before I got it to where I wanted it). Sam is finally given some page time, and I adore him, so I hope I've captured his essence sufficiently. I sort of love writing drunk!Bucky. Part three is where things are going to take an interesting turn for Bucky and Pocket so I'm looking forward to posting that soon!
Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917
Taglist: (Please let me know if you’d like to be added!)  @blackhawkfanatic @les-sel @marcswife21 @buckybarnessimpp @jmeelee @cazellen
Slapping your American Express Black Card onto the polished mahogany bar, you made sure the bartender was giving you his full attention. "Everything my group orders tonight goes on my tab, got it?" you told him. "If Tony Stark tries to pay for a single thing, tell him it's already covered and if he has a problem with it, he can take it up with me." The bartender nodded, taking your card and depositing it with the other open tabs behind the bar. It was going to be a very lucrative night for the bar.
You'd all come to Gino's, a downtown dive of place you all loved, to celebrate Bucky's clearance for missions. As a part of his presidential pardon for the Winter Soldier's crimes (completely unnecessary, in your opinion, because Bucky hadn’t been the one to commit them), he had been required to undertake 12 months of court-mandated therapy, and now that he had ten months under his belt, his therapist had signed her approval for Bucky to engage in real Avenger work, provided he was accompanied by another member of the team at all times for supervision. He'd be leaving tomorrow for a classified location with Steve and Sam; they'd be gone for about a week, so you'd wanted to commemorate the event and leave him with some positive memories before he left.
You rejoined your group in the far back, where you'd commandeered the largest corner booth and the surrounding tables. "Tonight's on me," you declared as you approached, "so drink up and eat well." Your friends cheered their thanks; Thor even banged his giant fist against the table in appreciation. You did a mock curtsey before coming to stand behind Bucky where he sat, draping your arms around his neck and shoulders and bringing your head down alongside his.
"Having a good time?" you asked him.
Bucky let out a soft chuckle, leaning back into your touch. "With you by my side? Always," he replied, his voice laced with affection. "But you didn't have to do this, doll. Pay for everything, I mean. We could have all gotten our own."
Letting go of his shoulders, you moved around to sit next to him. "Bullshit. My best friend is going on his first Avengers mission, this is the least I can do."
"Listen, man," said Sam Wilson, also known as The Falcon and, if you were being completely honest, one of your favorite teammates after Bucky, "I know things might have been different when you were younger, but in the 21st Century, when a lady offers to buy you drinks, the polite thing to do is just say 'thank you' and get hammered."
Bucky laughed and chugged down the beer he'd been previously nursing and took the bourbon you'd brought over for him from the bar. "Thank you, Pocket. Though, I don't think I'll be getting... hammered on anything here."
"You're most welcome, Buck," you said, patting his cheek, the stubble tickling at your palm. "But if you are looking to get hammered, I believe our resident God of Thunder has brought a little something extra you could sip on in between beers." You nodded your head toward Thor, who sat a few seats down, pouring a splash of Asgardian something from a flask into Steve's tumbler.
Bucky quirked an eyebrow. "Is that so? Maybe I'll take him up on that." The super soldier got up and, squeezing your hand, made his way over to Thor, who gladly poured a generous splash of spirits into Bucky's glass of bourbon.
You watched him for a moment as he sat and drank with Steve and Thor, a warm feeling building in your chest at the sight of him looking and doing so well. He'd made so much progress since he first arrived at the Tower and you were unbelievably proud of him.
"You've been good for him, Pocket," Sam offered with a raise of his glass. "But I gotta know, when are you two gonna stop tip-toeing around each other and make things official?"
You let out an agonized groan. "Not you, too, Sam. Why don't you and Natty get together and write some fanfic about it? That's about as close to reality as it'll get."
"What are Wilson and I collaborating to write smutty fanfiction about?" Natasha asked as she sat down in Bucky's vacated seat, passing you a shot glass.
"Za nashu druzhbu!" You toasted in unison before downing the sweet liquid. To our friendship!
"A Redheaded Slut shot? How very Natasha," you teased.
"Don't try to change the subject," Sam interjected. "Romanoff: (Y/L/N) and Barnes. They go together like Netflix and chill or what?"
Natasha's eyes lit up. "Absolutely! Oh my God; I'm so glad you see it, too. They're just screaming 'Let's fuck already,' right?!"
"I don't know that they haven't started already," Sam said, obviously pleased to finally have someone to talk about this with. "I've never seen Metalhead as content as when he's with Pocket. Figure she's gotta be doing something to keep a smile on his face, if you know what I mean." He waggled his eyebrows, setting Natasha off into a barking laugh.
"Jesus Christ, Sam!" you sputtered. "I'm sitting right fucking here!"
Sam gave you a sheepish smile. "Sorry, Baby Girl. 'M just calling it like I see it. And with you and Barnes, I see it."
"She's going to stick to the story that nothing's going on between them," Nat began.
"Because there is nothing going on between us," you interrupted.
"But I think we all know something is brewing between those two," she continued, as if you hadn't said a thing. "I mean, do you really think they're just sleeping in the same bed every night?"
"Hold up, hold up." Sam raised his hand to stop Nat. "You're telling me those two share a bed? How long has this been going on and why am I just hearing about it now?"
"Oh my god," you said, putting your head in your hands and wishing the floor would open up and suck you into a hell dimension. It had to be better than sitting here listening to the two of them talk as if weren't in the room.
"You didn't know?!" Nat's expression was incredulous. "Essentially since the moment Barnes moved into the Tower. They alternate whose bed they sleep in, but it's literally every. single. night."
"That's it," you murmured, though you were sure they weren't paying you any attention, "I am never telling you another thing, ever, Natalia." They weren't embarrassing you, per se. You felt no shame about your closeness with Bucky. It was more that you hated that they were making assumptions about him. You could take ones made about you; you'd been doing that your entire life, but Bucky was different. He was... fragile wasn't the right word, but it came close. You wanted to protect him from everything negative, including your friends gossiping about his alleged sex life.
"Guys, please," you said, loud enough to catch their attention. "I know that, whatever I say, it's not going to convince you that I'm telling you the truth, but I don't want Bucky to hear it, okay? You're just going to make him uncomfortable and he'll retreat into himself, close up. So, save it for when you're by yourselves, alright?"
The sincerity in your words caused Sam and Nat's gazes to soften as they looked at you. You hoped that, despite their ribbing, they understood that your concern for your shared friend was genuine, and that, of the three of you sitting at the table, you knew Bucky best.
"Alright," said Sam, "I'll drop it. For now. But know I've got my eye on you, Pocket." He gave you a shrewd look. "Don't think you can keep your secret from Ole Sammy forever."
You shook your head, annoyingly amused.
The evening moved on pleasantly: conversation and alcohol flowed, and you felt yourself loosening up as the shots you'd drank with Natasha worked their way through your system until you were sporting a pleasant buzz. Bucky eventually came back to join you at your table, eyes glassy and with a giant, dopey grin plastered across his face.
"How's that Asgardian liquor treating you, Buckaroo?" you asked him with a grin of your own, knowing full well he was sauced.
"'s real good, Pocket," he slurred, propping his head on his fist and gazing at you with a dreamy expression. "'s nice and tingly, like the sun is shining on my insides."
"I'm happy for you, Buck," you said with a laugh, shooting an amused glance over Bucky's head to Nat, who responded with a smirk of her own. "That's real good."
He put his arms around you and pulled you into him, almost tugging you off of your chair in the process. "No! You're real good. Sho good to me, all warm and fuzzy and pretty. Just wanna keep touchin' you, you know? 'Cause you make me think of happy things." He paused to nuzzle his face into your hair. "You're m'favorite person."
"You're my favorite person, too, Buck," you said, stifling a giggle, amused by this new soft, silly side of him.
"Me?" he squeaked--actually squeaked. You nodded and then let out a surprised squeal as he pulled you into his lap, holding you almost tight enough to be uncomfortable, his metal arm clinging you to his chest. But then he pulled his head back to look you in the eye, his face suddenly serious.
He slurred, leaning in closer. You could smell the sweet scent of the Asgardian liquor on his breath. "Don'tcha dare tell Stevie, though, doll" he hiccupped, "'cause he'd be real put out if he found out I was your fav'rite."
"Well, then we won't tell him," you assured him, casting a bewildered glance to Nat. She subtly shook her head, as if to say she was just as confused as you as to why Steve would care if Bucky was your favorite person.
Bucky nodded solemnly. "Good. Don't want 'im feelin' bad, but 'm not sorry. 'S not my fault, either. He had ages and he didn't do nuthin'. That's on 'im. Not on me, not on you. On 'im." He began petting your hair in long strokes, seemingly distracted by the feel of it and losing his original train of thought. "Mmmm, you're so pretty. M'pretty little Pocket."
"Why, thank you, my handsome soldier," you replied, tapping him playfully on the nose while wondering what the hell he had been going on about concerning Steve. You hoped he wasn't so drunk that he didn't remember this conversation in the morning, because you were going to press the shit out of him for details.
Oh, but then... the next song from the jukebox caught your attention, and you looked up as the opening bars of Flo Rida's Low filled the air.
"Oh no," moaned Nat with a trace of laughter. "You're gonna dance, aren't you?"
A broad grin broke across your face. You loved dancing to anything, but this song was your kryptonite. "I can't help it," you told her, "it calls me, I come. Let's go!" You stood up, taking Bucky's hand and trying to pull him along with you, but the super soldier just shook his head and refused to move. Apparently he wasn't that drunk. "Fine. Sam, Nat, dance with me."
"I'm coming, Baby Girl," Sam said, taking Nat's hand and dragging her to meet you.
As soon as you had the space, you began to move, the music pulsing through your veins, syncing perfectly with your heartbeat. You swayed your hips in time with the infectious rhythm, your body moving effortlessly to the beat.
You felt Sam come up behind you, placing his hands on your hips as he began to dance with you, bass thumping in your chests. You and Sam had danced together countless times before; he was one of the only ones in the Tower who enjoyed dancing as much as you did, so the two of you had had plenty of practice moving together. Your movements may have been completely innocent, but they gave the appearance of something much more intimate-- it was just the nature of the dance. You could feel the heat of Sam's body pressed against your back, the way his hands gripped your hips protectively. It was all in good fun, a playful dance between friends, until you felt Sam's hands fly from your waist as you were about to get low.
You spun around, finding Bucky standing where Sam had been just a few seconds before, Sam now several feet away, anger wearing heavy on his face.
"What the hell, man?" Sam barked at Bucky. "What'd you shove me for?"
Bucky, his face flushed and eyes narrowed with a combination of intoxication and something dark, took a step towards Sam. "Didn't shove ya, Wilson," he slurred, his words blending together. "Ya just...got in the way."
"Got in the way? Man, we were just dancing. How was I in your way?"
Bucky's jaw clenched, his metal arm flexing by his side. The atmosphere shifted, thick with tension, as if the air in the room had suddenly turned molasses-slow.
"Okay, boys." You stepped between them, hands down and palms open, trying to create as much distance between the two as possible. The last thing you wanted was a drunken argument devolving into some kind of brawl. "It's getting late, and we've all had a good amount to drink." You gave Sam a pointed glance. "Bucky, will you take me home to the Tower? I'm pretty tired and I think I'm ready to call it a night."
Sam nodded in understanding-- it would be a hell of a lot easier to get Bucky home in his current state if he thought he was escorting you, instead of the other way around.
"Yeah, 'course, Pocket," Bucky said, his eyes softening as he looked at you. You were able to call out your goodnights to the rest of the team and, leaving instructions with Nat to close out your tab at the end of the night, began making your way to the door. Bucky stumbled a bit, his balance compromised by the alcohol in his system. You wrapped an arm around him, steadying him as you both made your way outside.
Outside the bar, the cool night air was a welcome relief from the noisy atmosphere inside. Bucky leaned heavily against you, his arm draped around your shoulders for support.
"Fuck, Barnes. You're heavy," you groaned under his weight.
"Fuck me, Pocket," he slurred, head tilting to the side. There was that look in his eyes again. The same one you'd seen the day he'd gotten his new arm. You couldn't identify it, but it made the hair on your arms stand up straight.
"Yeah, that's exactly what I said." You could feel his warmth seeping through your clothes, his presence comforting even in his intoxicated state.
"You good to stand on your own for a second, soldier?" you asked him. "I need to hail us a cab."
Bucky nodded and you carefully eased yourself out from under his arm, scanning the street for a taxi. The bustling city night was alive with lights and sounds, creating a tapestry of urban energy that seemed to match the frequency of the electricity that ran through your brain.
God, did you love this city.
As you raised your hand to flag down a cab, you couldn't help but steal glances at Bucky, his hair in disarray, falling into his eyes and his lips slightly parted as he breathed in the cool night air. Even drunk and disheveled, he still looked so handsome. There was a softness to him in the moment that made him look younger, and for a second, you could imagine that beautiful, carefree young man who had been drafted to cross the sea to fight someone else's war, and had paid for it with even more than his life.
A taxi screeched to a stop in front of you, interrupting your reverie. You hurriedly opened the door and helped Bucky inside, sliding in beside him. The cab driver gave you both a curious glance before pulling away from the curb. Once you gave him the address to Avengers Tower, that look got more and more frequent as he kept checking his rear view mirror.
"Hey, eyes on the road, buddy," you snapped at him, probably putting more aggression into your voice than you had intended, but the way the cab driver was looking at the two of you made you uneasy.
The ride back to the Tower was quiet, the low hum of the taxi's engine serving as a backdrop to the thoughts swirling in your mind. Bucky slumped against you, his head resting on your shoulder as he dozed off. You gently ran your fingers through his hair, feeling the softness of it against your skin. The city lights blurred past outside the window, casting a hazy glow over both of you.
"Listen," the cabbie eventually began in his thick New Jersey accent, "sweetheart, ya seem like a nice girl, but I don't think ya know what you're dealin' with, here. That man right there's the Winter Soldier. He's a murderer, a nasty one. The kind that likes to take a sweet thing like you and do horrible things."
You rolled your eyes. If they were going to keep telling stories about the Winter Soldier, the least they could do was get the details right instead of making him sound like Ted Fucking Bundy.
"This nasty murderer is my best friend," you said, each word clipped and infused with the anger you felt on Bucky's behalf. "So, maybe you should stick with getting us to our destination instead of trying to lecture me on something you know absolutely nothing about."
The cabbie fell silent, his eyes darting nervously between the road ahead and the rearview mirror. You could tell that he was regretting his decision to say anything, realizing that he had struck a nerve. Or, you thought with an amused chuckle, afraid that you were just as nasty as the Winter Soldier. But you couldn't blame him entirely. The reputation of the Winter Soldier was notorious, and it was only natural for people to be cautious. You just wished they knew the name Bucky Barnes, and the actual man, himself, just as well.
You sighed and shifted your gaze to Bucky, still unconscious against your shoulder. It wasn't fair, you thought, how people judged him solely based on his past. Yes, there were dark chapters in his history, but he had fought tooth and nail to regain control over his life. He had redeemed himself in countless ways even before he had officially joined the Avengers.
As the taxi approached Avengers Tower, you leaned over and gently shook Bucky awake. His eyes fluttered open, confusion etched in his features for a brief moment before recognition set in.
"We're home, Buck," you whispered softly, trying to soothe away any lingering unease from your brief conversation with the cab driver. "Let's get you upstairs." You threw a handful of bills in the cabbie's direction, not even bothering to wait for him to give you your change; you just wanted out of his cab and away from his prejudice.
Bucky nodded, rubbing sleep from his eyes. With your help, he stumbled out of the taxi and leaned on you for support as you made your way into the building.
"'m sorry 'bout that, doll," he drawled as you passed the security desk, sending a quick wave to the night guard.
"Sorry for what, Buck?" you asked him. He was silent as you made your way to the elevator bay, waiting until you had pressed the button to summon the elevator car.
"'bout the cabbie." He avoided looking at you while you waited, and it was like a punch to your gut-- he'd heard everything that ignorant man had said. The elevator doors dinged open and you helped usher him inside.
You took a deep breath as you pressed the button for your floor, the retinal scanner making quick work to prove your identity and verify your security clearance. "Buck," you exhaled, "you have nothing to apologize for. That man was an asshole and an idiot."
Bucky leaned back against the elevator wall, his head thumping against the cool metal. "But he was right. I am a nasty murderer."
You could scream. You could strangle that cabbie with your bare hands. Bucky had been doing so well, had been having such a good night, and one person's careless remark had ruined all of it.
"Barnes," you said, turning to face him. "Look at me. Do you think I'm stupid?"
His eyes grew wide at the insinuation, even in his drunk state, he was with it enough to be taken aback by your question. "'bsolutely not, doll. You're the smartest person I know. Smarter than Stark, even, 'cause you can admit when your wrong." The compliment left you trying to hide a smile.
"Okay. Do you trust my judgment?"
"With my life," he breathed. The elevator opened to your floor, and you helped Bucky out into the hall and down the corridor toward his room. The soft glow of the hallway lights illuminated his features, casting a warm, intimate aura around the two of you.
"So, if I'm not stupid and you trust my judgment, trust me when I tell you are not what that man says you are. You are a good man who had too many horrible things happen to him. And despite all those horrible things, you are still the kindest, funniest, most gentle man that I know."
As you reached his door, Bucky turned to face you, his eyes filled with a mixture of gratitude and vulnerability. "Thank you, Pocket. Thank you for taking care of me, and for being my friend," he murmured, his voice hoarse with exhaustion and emotion.
A small smile played on your lips. "Always, Buck," you replied softly. "Now let's get you inside."
With a gentle push, you opened the door to his room and guided him over to his bed. Bucky collapsed onto the mattress with a heavy sigh, his body sinking into the softness beneath him. Once you'd pulled off his boots, you knelt down beside him, tucking the blanket around his shoulders.
As you straightened up, Bucky reached out and grabbed your hand, his grip surprisingly strong despite his intoxicated state. His gaze locked with yours, a mix of vulnerability and longing flickering in his eyes.
"I don't want you to leave," he whispered, his voice laced with a hint of desperation.
"I'm just going to hop over to my room to change into pajamas," you assured him. "I'll be right back. Promise." You smoothed his hair, trying to tame it from where it stood up in all directions.
"'kay," he said through a yawn, "but don't take too long. I got somethin' I need to tell ya. 's important."
"Okay," you told him, planting a kiss on his head. "I'll be just a minute." You hurried across the hall to your own room, changing into your pajamas and brushing your teeth in record time.
Re-entering Bucky's room, you were extremely curious as to what he'd wanted to say to you. "Alright, Buckaroo, I'm back. What did you--"
You smiled to yourself. Bucky was fast asleep, light snores emanating from him as he lay sprawled across the bed. You couldn't help but find him adorable in his slumber, especially with his hair sticking up in all directions.
With a soft sigh, you walked over to the side of the bed and gently sat down, watching Bucky's peaceful face. It was moments like these that reminded you of how much he had been through, how much pain and loss he had experienced. Despite his tough exterior, there was a vulnerability about him that tugged at your heartstrings.
You leaned in closer, unable to resist the urge to brush a stray lock of hair away from his forehead. Your fingers lingered on his skin for a moment longer than necessary, feeling the warmth radiating from him. The desire to protect and comfort him overwhelmed you, making your heart ache with affection, and something else that you couldn't quite identify.
Pulling down the covers, you climbed into bed next to him, snuggling up to his body for warmth. He grunted and wrapped an arm around you, pulling you closer to him. It wasn't long before you drifted off into a slumber of your own.
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sunshine-on-my-mind · 11 months
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Move On
pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
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words: 2.4k
warnings: Angst! mentions of crying, mentions of self doubt/implied insecurity. Fluff, happy ending, soft moments, hugs, mentions of sexuality, Endgame!Steve (mentioned). Alcohol (going to a bar).
a/n: was feeling angsty, came up with this hehe. hope you all like it.
REBLOGS AND COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED
Bucky Barnes never had a chance to live in the present, something or the other always changed. He didn’t feel he belonged anywhere, was his true identity hidden in the scattered memories of his past, if he could even count on it? Or was it the so called new life he got after getting his freedom?
Maybe it were the people he was surrounded by who gave his life meaning. But it was never that easy for Bucky was it? The only man he felt he could count on, the man who gave his existence a meaning, he left.
He knew his best friend went back to the past, where Steve felt he belonged, Bucky wasn’t sure about that, seeing that Steve had done such a good job in the present. Nevertheless he was happy for his friend. If anyone deserved true happiness and peace, it was Steve Rogers, even if that didn’t include Bucky in it.
You had always admired Bucky, he was a true fighter, in every form. You could feel his rigidity, someone who wasn’t sure of himself, and it pained you to see him like that. The man deserved so much love and appreciation.
After Thanos, the world changed in many ways, sometimes you wonder whether it changed for the better. Bucky got court mandated therapy, to help him, but was it really to help him? The man had already been through a lot.
When Sam was given the mantle of Captain America, you couldn’t have been more proud. He was always one of your close friends in the group.
So when Sam invited you to Louisiana, you didn’t think twice before accepting. You had always wanted to meet his lovely family. The only key information he didn’t mention was that he invited Bucky Barnes as well.
Sam was the only one, who had sensed your crush on Bucky Barnes, always teased you about it but you never admitted. In a way, what you felt for Bucky Barnes was more than a crush.
Not that the two of you interacted a lot, you always appreciated him from a distance. Bucky wasn’t the most open guy, but he always acknowledged your presence.
Louisiana was gorgeous, Sam’s sister and nephews were the sweetest. You were in the kitchen, helping Sarah prepare a delicious meal when you heard the knock on the door.
“I’ll get it” you announced, the door opened to a certain blue eyed soldier, wearing a blue henley and dark coloured jeans. Bucky looked at you a gave you a smile, that’s when you realised you’ve been staring and moved away for him to get in the house.
“Looks like the old man made it” Sam’s voice boomed with happiness as hugged Bucky. “Come on, my nephews are super excited to meet you.” You closed the door, as Sarah gave a knowing look at your flustered expression. You chose to ignore it and went back to the kitchen.
Since there was only one guest room, Bucky volunteered to take the sofa, you felt bad. Bucky informed he didn’t like sleeping in beds, so the sofa worked well for him. You tried to argue but that only led you to being more flustered.
“I don’t mind if you two want to share the room” Sam smirked at you, and you glared back. Bucky didn’t respond, looked away. You were silly to think Bucky could ever think of you as anything more than a friend. Did he even consider you a friend?
With Sam’s family, Bucky and you went to see their family boat in the evening, the sun glowed into a beautiful orange hue, and you saw Bucky smile, it was brighter than the sun. He was happy. And that made you happy.
Sam decided to work on the boat with Bucky’s and your help. Bucky did all the heavy lifting, Sam and you took care of the rest.
“Good job guys, thank you.” Sam smiled at you as he patted Bucky’s back. “How about the three of us get a few drinks tonight?” That sounded fun. You wished Sarah could join to but you understood she would be with her kids.
Sam and Bucky were supposed to meet you at the bar directly, while you went back to the house to dress up a little. You arrived earlier and took a sit, ordering yourself a drink.
“Hi” a smooth voice interrupted your thoughts. You turned around to see Bucky. Only Bucky. “Sam couldn’t make it, he had to urgently run an errand.” How convenient, you thought, it must have been Sam’s plan all along. To get you and Bucky alone together.
“Oh, in that case we can go back if you want? Take a rain check on the plan.” Bucky took the stool beside you.
“Might as well get a few drinks since we are here?” He suggested and you might have hooded a bit too enthusiastically. You had to keep it cool. After a few drinks, you both felt more comfortable with those few words exchanged between a comforting silence.
“I think this is the first time we spent some time together..” Bucky told you, followed by a soft smile. You smiled back, taking another sip. There was so much you wanted to ask, so much you wanted to say. But you you were more than happy just being there with Bucky. And Bucky didn’t seem to absolutely hate your company, that felt good.
“Should we head back? It’s late.” You nodded at Bucky’s suggestion, him being the old school gentleman, refused to let you pay. While walking back to Sam’s house, you couldn’t help but look at the man beside you from time to time.
“Do you miss the 40s?” Your mouth betrayed your mind, working on its own. You felt Bucky stiffen for a second before a somber expression graced his face.
“I miss myself.” That was all Bucky offered.
The rest of the walk you kept quiet. When you entered your destination, you looked at Bucky apologetically, thinking you ruined the night.
“I’m sorry, Bucky. I shouldn’t have-“
“Don’t worry about it.” Bucky gave you a tight lipped smile and wished you good night before he parted ways.
You couldn’t sleep. Was it guilt you felt? Or simply you missed Bucky’s warm presence? Making your way to the kitchen, to get a glass of water, you found Bucky awake on the couch.
“Can’t sleep?” You asked as Bucky shook his head. You brought a glass of water for Bucky as well, taking a seat on the sofa beside him.
“Do you often have a problem sleeping? You mentioned not being able to sleep on beds…”
Bucky didn’t answer and you felt you were making things worse. You hurriedly try to come up with an excuse to make your exit.
“I should go-“
“Stay, please…” You froze in your place and looked into Bucky’s blue eyes.
“Bucky I-“
“I can’t sleep, I can hardly ever sleep. My mind never rests. Even after being free, there’s too much, too much.”
You softly touched Bucky’s hand, trying to reassure him. What you didn’t expect was for him to pull you close and instantly wrap you in a tight hug.
Softly rubbing his back, you felt Bucky slowly getting relaxed under your touch. You wanted to tell him everything is gonna be okay, and that even if it didn’t you would always be there to help him in any way you could. Instead you kept rubbing his back.
Bucky pulled away softly, looking down, feeling vulnerable. He didn’t know what overtook his senses but he couldn’t help himself. You touched his hand again and smiled warmly.
A pang of guilt hit Bucky’s chest, he didn’t know why, or maybe he didn’t want to admit. He mouthed a soft thank you.
“You should get some sleep now, I’ll be alright.”
“I can stay here Bucky, it’s no problem.”
“Trust me, I feel better. I’ll be okay.” Bucky gave you a small smile. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
After wishing Bucky a good night, you made your way back. You managed to get some sleep but woke up early in the morning.
Deciding to make some coffee, you made your way to the kitchen. You heard Sam and Bucky having an argument a.k.a. a casual conversation. It wasn’t unusual so you decided there was no need to meddle.
But when you heard your name being mentioned, you stopped in your tracks. You didn’t like eavesdropping but couldn’t help yourself.
“Sam, enough. I don’t want to talk about it, you’ve been trying to push this for a while now, ok?” Bucky argued
“But what’s the issue? Didn’t you say you enjoyed her company?” Sam tried to reason with Bucky.
“I did, I do. She- she is nice. But I am not ready for anything, besides we barely know each other.”
“You can always try to get to know her. I really think you two will be good for each other.”
“Sam- drop it okay? I’m not interested. I can’t do this-“
You felt like you were being suffocated, the more you listened the worse you got but you couldn’t move from your place. Before you could do anything your phone started ringing loudly and you cursed under your breath.
Almost on a cue, Sam and Bucky came out of the room. Bucky’s eyes met yours, he tries to speak but you didn’t listen, you ran away. You couldn’t face it.
It was only when you closed the door behind you, did you let yourself shed the tears you were holding back.
“Fuck- fuck” Bucky muttered under his breath. “I’ll go talk to her.” Bucky told Sam. He made his way to your room, he was scared to knock, didn’t know how to face you, but he did anyway.
You wiped your tears and opened the door. Still looking down, avoiding meeting his gaze.
“Look- I don’t know how much you heard, I-“
“It’s alright Bucky, you don’t have to explain yourself, in fact Sam shouldn’t have pushed you, I’ll talk to him later.”
“Can I- can I come inside? We should talk.”You moved away and let him get inside. He stood beside your bed, while you took a seats
“I never meant to hurt you, I’m sorry if I have. In fact, that’s one of the main reasons I don’t like being attached to someone, scared I might hurt them.”
He looked at you. Trying to find hatred in your eyes but he didn’t. Even if he felt he deserved it.
“I don’t believe in attachments anymore, it scares me to be honest.” He clenched his fist, so many thoughts running through his head, and one prominent face. “When Steve left, I felt lost. Don’t get me wrong, after all these years I think I’ve always been lost, but just when I thought maybe I had a purpose, maybe this second life given to me meant something- I felt lost again.”
You couldn’t even begin to imagine everything he must have went through. You wanted to comfort him, Bucky Barnes deserved love, and deserved to love himself.
“I loved him.”
“You’ve been his best friend forever, I understand losing him must have been difficult-“ You were stopped mid sentence when Bucky bit his lower lip and took a seat beside you.
“I loved him.” Bucky emphasised and finally everything made sense. Not everything but a lot. Bucky was in love with Steve Rogers.
“Are you-“
“Tried to look it up on the internet, I’m Bisexual.” Bucky informed.
Without thinking you hugged Bucky.
“I’ve accepted it won’t happen. Don’t worry. But at the same time, I don’t think it’s fair for me to be with someone, when I don’t even know if I’ll be able to give my whole heart to them.” He rubbed your back, pulling you closer to him.
“I know my mind is free now but… is it really? And with an overburdened mind and half a heart, it isn’t fair to lead someone on. Even if that someone is as amazing as you.”
“Bucky, I can’t ever imagine how difficult it has been for you, and trust me, the only person you should live this new life is for yourself.”
You pulled away, softly and bravely touching his cheek, he didn’t flinch away, he trusted you. Bucky was fighting a battle with himself. His past baggage was standing with all its might in front of him, stopping him from living in the moment.
But wasn’t that a constant battle in Bucky’s life trying to fit in, trying to belong in a place, in a time? And maybe finally he had people he could count on, maybe finally he could count on himself.
“You really care about me, don’t you?” Bucky asked, wrapping your palm on his cheek with his own. You smiled softly.
“I like you Bucky. And I don’t expect anything in return. I just want you to know. You are kind, and so caring, you try not to show your soft side but I notice. You like animals, you are great with kids. Granted you’re grumpy but you are one of the most genuine people I’ve ever met.”
Bucky didn’t know when he started crying, he wanted to believe your words, why was it so difficult?
“I want to move on- from everything. Please.” You hugged him again, Bucky hid his face against your neck trying to hold back his tears.
“You have every right to move on, you don’t owe anyone anything. Do whatever makes you happy because you deserve it Bucky, even if you don’t feel you do.”
You kept holding Bucky close to you for some minutes, he mumbled a soft ‘thank you’ and you pulled away finally.
“Not the best impression to make on a cute girl, huh?” Bucky tried to make you laugh, chucking while wiping his tears. “I really enjoyed our time together yesterday, would you like to go again sometime? doesn’t have to be a bar, can be anywhere.” Bucky asked hopefully.
“Bucky that sounds amazing but- I don’t want you to feel pressured in any way, I know you’re a gentleman. Only if you really want to go out with me, then I’d love to go.” Bucky took your hands in his.
“If you can tolerate this grumpy old man for an evening, it would be my honour.”
After all this while, Bucky finally chose to do something for himself, it was scary but somehow it felt right. It wouldn’t be easy but he would figure it out, now he had someone who would help him navigate his life in the right direction. Bucky Barnes belonged here.
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gh0stlyfixation · 1 year
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Copycat
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Paring: Simon Riley x taskmaster!reader, Dreykov!reader. Mention of Bucky and Steve (there married, oops 🙊).
Summary: A new Avenger teams up with Taskforce 141, turns out her and Ghost are a like.
Warning: trauma, mixing the avengers and cod together, grammar errors probably. Not a huge fan on how I ended it.
“You didn’t tell us she was fucking crazy.” Soap said to Price and Laswell.
“You didn’t ask.” Price cheekily answered.
Simon glared at him, “where’d she come from?”
“Fury from The Avengers team sent her, said she was the best,” Laswell responded.
That made sense. The Avengers were a bunch of glorified superheroes. A mix of super soldiers and non-human things, they dealt with their kind while we dealt with wars in other countries.
“She killed twenty men in two minutes with her bare hands. What the fuck?” Soap said in shock.
“What can you tell us about her?” Simon asked.
Price and Laswell looked at each other, “not much. She’s 23, her name was Taskmaster, but we call her Copycat now.” Price told.
“That’s it?” Soap asked.
“She has a violent history that is not ours to tell. I suggest you be nice. She can put us all down in a second. Now walk away.” Laswell spoke.
——
Over the few weeks you’ve been around Taskforce 141, you didn’t speak much. The team quickly realized you also wore a mask like Ghost. Ghost warmed up to you well. He didn’t talk to you much like most of the team but he was nice to you. He offered you hellos and little waves while passing in the halls. He assumed you’d give him smiles, he always wanted to see you smile.
You sat in your room with the door open. No one was around, either on missions or out in training. You open your laptop and clicked on zoom, taking off the mask, you heard your therapist speak, “Hi Y/N,”
“Hi Doctor.” You said quietly.
What the team didn’t know was that you were in court-mandated therapy just like your friend Bucky was. You committed war crimes, however, they weren’t your fault, something you haven’t yet accepted.
“How are the nightmares?” She asked.
Ghost was walking down the hall, something you didn’t hear, Ghost was always light on his feet. He heard your soft voice speaking through your door. You left it wide open, something out of character.
He peaked his head to look in your room and saw you at your desk. He noticed the mask was off, your hair in two French braids. “The nightmares haven’t happened often, I’ve been able to control the noise, you know, so I don’t wake up the team.” You shrugged.
I shouldn’t be listening, Ghost thought to himself, but he couldn’t move away. He leaned against the wall next to your door frame. “How’s the team? Your new placement?” The lady asked.
You were quiet for a moment, “nice. They kinda leave me alone.” You sigh. It wasn’t easy making friends, Ghost felt a little bad, “There is one guy though. We call him Ghost.” You started.
His heart fluttered, he had to place a hand over it. He’s never felt that before. Ghost knew he shouldn’t be listening, but he couldn’t move. “He’s nice to me, he waves and says hi. It feels nice to be acknowledged. I’d like to think he’s cute too.” You admitted.
Ghost nearly choked on air, he covered his mouth at your confession, “you have a crush? That’s good, feeling new emotion. We’ve been working hard on that.” The lady spoke.
That’s when Ghost realized that this was a therapy session, “is that what a crush feels like? I never knew what friendships or crushes were since the Red Room. Growing up with him, being that killing machine, I didn’t get a chance at being a girl. Being me.” Your body is visibly slouched.
The red room? What in the hell was that, and you grew up in it. “The mask too? Ghost wears one.” You sat up straight at the mention of his name.
“Yeah, I find comfort knowing he wears one too, though I don’t know why. I’m sure it’s to secure his identity, meanwhile, mine is to hide the ugly scar I live with.”
That’s when Ghost knew he couldn’t listen anymore. He couldn’t listen to you putting yourself down, belittling yourself. He walked away.
You often sat out on training, you’d rather watch the men than utterly destroy them. You memorized every single member of the team's moves, besides, no one offered to spare with you. You sat in silence watching Soap and Ghost spare, 9 out of 10 times, Ghost won.
“It’s not a fair fight,” Soap complained. “But you wouldn’t know a fair fight.” Soap smiled.
Ghost looked up at you, “Cat!” His voice boomed. You looked up confused at the new nickname. “Come on, let’s spare.”
Soap looked surprised. You uncrossed your legs, fixing your yoga pants and grabbing a pair of gloves. “This won’t be fair.” You spoke up.
“Cocky,” Soap said with a smirk.
Through all the matches, Ghost didn’t win but once, and even then, he thought you let him. “I wasn’t called the Taskmaster for nothing.” You said to Ghost helping him up.
You looked around and noticed everyone had left the room, “who calls you the Taskmaster?” He asked, He wanted more information on you.
You gave him a weary look, but you’d consider him a friend and to keep friends you need to make an effort, said your therapist. “The Red Room, heh,” you nervously chuckled.
“You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want.” He said, Please tell me everything! He begged in his mind.
“No, it’s okay. I trust you.” You quietly spoke sitting down on the mat. Ghost couldn’t help but smile under his mask, “the Red Room was a training facility in Russia. We were trained to be the deadliest assassins. It wasn’t supposed to be my life, my father was the leader. But after the explosion, he couldn’t stand my face and made me who I am today.” You explained.
“He noticed my ability to memorize patterns. He put a chip in me like the other girls, made me a suit of armor, and I was forced to train newbies and kill innocents. I was a daddy’s girl once, but then I was nothing more than an ugly killer.” You whispered the last part more to yourself. “Thats the nonviolent story of my life.”
Ghost sat down with you, “I know you're not ugly.” You scoffed at him, not believing him. “I'm serious.” He said.
“I bet you're not ugly either.” You told him, “take it off.” You said with a little tease. He could see you smile through that mask.
“Only if you do.” He responded. You looked around the room, “you don’t have to Cat.” He said
“No, just, not here.” You stood up then Ghost stood up and followed you to your room.
Shutting the door behind you, you sat on your bed, patting the space next to you. “Thank you for being a friend. It’s scary how alike we are. I only have one friend back at hom, well, two if you could his husband, you’d like him. He’s full of trauma like me.” You chuckled.
“Anytime.” He said. You looked at him and then placed your hands on your mask. Slowly you pulled it up revealing your face. Your hair is in French braids but a little messier. He sees the scar on your face, a big burn scar all over your cheek, and partly on your forehead, but he still thinks you are beautiful.
“I don’t see the ugliness,” he said stroking your scarred cheek.
“Show me your face?” you asked. He pulled his mask up placing it down on yours and he ruffled his hair. He had a deep scar on his lower cheek down to his Adam's apple, “your handsome. The scar makes you look, dangerous.” You admitted.
“I am dangerous.” He replied. You giggled, and his heart started to beat faster. “And so are you Cat.”
You wanted to kiss him and like he read your mind he placed both hands on your cheeks and pulled you close kissing you passionately. He was going to help you feel normal, to feel spoiled and loved for the first time in your life.
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mrsbuckybarnes1917 · 5 months
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Request from the lovely @nicoline1998enilocin: "I have a short and simple request for you including our favorite super soldier: Bucky! What is he like during mirror sex? He can be the one receiving the pleasure or giving - or both, depending on your mood 😉" Shoutout to @samodivaa for the help and support as always!
Word Count: 2.6k
Warnings: Some angsty feelings on Bucky's behalf, mention of legal proceedings, oral sex
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“BUCKY!” you yelled after him. He was halfway down the staircase when you were finally within ear shot. 
“Bucky,” you panted out his name this time. Cardio had never been your strong point.
He looked up at you, mirth reflected in his eyes at your need to hang over the handrail to catch your breath.
“What’s up, Sugar?”
“Get your butt back up here,” you demanded.
“What’s wrong?” Bucky’s eyebrows furrowed into a look of concern as he marched back up the stairs to you.
“Did you even look at yourself in the mirror before you left?”
The small shrug of his shoulders told you everything you needed to know. “How did you know?” he asked. The mirth that had temporarily graced his features was replaced by his usual melancholy.
You held up the long strip of silky material in your hand. “You forgot your tie!”
“Oh.” His lips breathed out the sound as they formed a perfect little circle.
“Here, let me.” You lifted your arms to pull up the collar of his shirt and wrap the tie around his neck. “Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you?”
“It’s a closed hearing. They aren’t allowing anyone inside.”
“I could wait outside," you suggested, folding his collar back down and smoothing the tie with your palm.
“It’s not worth your time.”
“You’re worth it, Bucky.” You leaned into him, the back of your fingers gently caressing his cheek. He was one step below you, meaning you were face to face rather than this usual towering posture.
“Am I?”
“Buck,” you sighed. You hated how much his past plagued him. He would suffer from fits of despondency and wistfulness which would take him away from you. His body would be yours to hold but his mind was lost in a haze of his bloody past. Today was definitely one of those days. Understandably so, he was being judged for actions he felt responsible for, despite knowing that his mind had not been his own.
His court mandated therapy would leave him a shell of himself. Gone would be the charm and snark that your boyfriend innately sported and you were left with a husk of his former self. His spells of self loathing had become more frequent and it left you filled with dread that one day you’d lose your boyfriend to his guilt ridden conscience.
“You remember what we talked about?” you asked him.
“Yeah.” Bucky’s tone didn’t inspire confidence.
“Buck, just give me five minutes, I’ll-”
“No,” he cut you off with more force than you expected. “I don’t want you there.”
It hurt. He knew it hurt you but he couldn’t quite form the words to apologize. Instead he would let the sorrow fester in the depths of his soul, turning away, unwilling to look into your eyes, to see the new cracks he had made on your heart. He was afraid that one day he would shatter it into a thousand pieces and he would lose you forever, but he still didn’t have the strength to concoct an apology. He would lose you through his own actions. It was what he deserved.
“Okay.” 
Your acceptance of him made him angry, he clenched his teeth, a rage building up inside of him in the same way it had when he had been him. It was still inside him, the creature they had forced out of him, had leashed and used. Why didn’t you see the monster inside?
“I’ll be here when you get home,” you said softly as he left you at the top of the staircase.
***
Bucky crept back into the apartment. A pardon. They had given him a full pardon. He had complied with their demands, jumped through their hoops and saved the world to boot. His actions told the tales of redemption but his soul still burned in flames of an eternal torment.
He heard you humming in the kitchen, probably preparing something delicious for him. You were the only light in his life, he couldn't think of anything he had done in his overextended lifetime to deserve the compassion you showed him.
Shame engulfed him, he couldn't face you after the words he had spoken that morning. He couldn’t look into your beautiful eyes without an apology that was worthy of you. Maybe the scalding temperature of a hot shower would help wash away the fog that clouded his brain and steeped him further into his anguish.
You may not have caught the sound of his footsteps, but there was no mistaking the creaking of the ancient pipes in the building.
“Bucky?” you muttered under your breath. Not loud enough for anyone to hear, except a super soldier who was not currently in the act of drowning his sorrows under a showerhead. You turned off the stove and padded into his bedroom. After retrieving the suit that he had so carelessly dropped on the floor, you sat down on the bed to wait for your boyfriend to come out of the bathroom. 
He didn’t emerge for almost an hour, but you were patient. Forgiving. Almost too forgiving.
Bucky froze in the doorway with only a towel hanging around his waist, seeing you sitting on the bed watching him, concern etched across your face. He watched your lips open and close slightly, fighting the urge to get up and rush to wrap your arms around him. He craved your touch, but he stayed, frozen, out of reach. He could see your fear, not for your safety, but of his response. But it was your sadness which finally ignited some movement from him.
He sat down beside you, drops of water dripping off his hair down onto his shoulders. The scent of his geranium and orange shower gel wafted into your nostrils, giving you the comfort of his presence, his proximity, as well as the courage to ask your question.
“What happened, Bucky?”
“Pardoned.” His reply was flat.
You gasped, flooded by a sense of relief. It was a reflex, you grabbed his flesh hand between yours and looked at his face, searching for his reaction. “That’s great! Right, Buck?”
He turned his head, not quite able to look at your face. Instead he stared ahead, only to catch your eyes in the reflection of the full length mirror which hung on the wall in front of you. You deserved an answer, so he nodded stiffly.
“Bucky.” The way you breathed his name betrayed everything you were feeling. Heartache, apprehension, anxiety and most importantly, affection.
He squeezed your fingers, trying to convey everything he hadn't said with this one action.
"We need to talk, Bucky."
And here it was. You had reached your limit.
"I'm worried about you."
The breath that had caught in his throat escaped in a short hiss.
"You can't carry on like this."
You weren't looking at his reflection anymore, you were looking directly at him, eyes filled with expectation.
"I-" Bucky grappled to find the right words. "I don't deserve this."
"Because of what you see, right? You look into that mirror," you pointed at his reflection, "and you still see yourself as the Winter Soldier. But Bucky, that's not who I see."
"No?"
"No," you shook your head. "I see a man who's the survivor of the most heinous acts that another human can inflict on them."
Your fingers hovered over the scars on his left shoulder, gently caressing his skin. "Someone who resisted their torture for twenty years."
"You have so much strength and resilience, you fought against it and you're still doing it. You don't give up. And that makes me so proud." Gently you rested your chin on his right shoulder and pressed your temple against his stubbled cheek. 
You folded one knee under you and moved closer  to your boyfriend, wrapping your arms around his waist. "I know I can't take away the sadness in your heart… as much as I wish I could. And I know you carry that weight with you every day. But if you'll let me, I'd like to help you with it. Especially on those days when it gets to be too much."
Bucky's jaw worked hard to mumble his next words. "I don't want to be a burden."
"You're the most important person in my life. I choose you."
You kissed his cheek, a sweet peck. The first of many. The next was firmer, your lips on his skin longer. Another to the angle of his jaw. It left a buzzing sensation where you'd made contact. But you didn't stop there, you left a trail of blazing kisses down his neck and along his shoulder, not once taking your eyes off Bucky's reflection. You wanted to make sure he was watching you.
"I want you to see how special you are."
You snaked your hands up from his waist so that they landed on his chest, over his heart.
"I want you to know that I see the good man that's in here. I see you, Bucky."
Your eyes didn't leave his in the mirror. Together you both watched your movements as you showed Bucky what he meant to you.
A few more chaste kisses landed across his broad shoulders before you decided to change the focus of your attention. His vibranium arm. The advanced prosthetic was usually a source of pride and achievement and told the story of how far he had come from the nightmare he lived for decades. But in moments of madness, the maelstrom inside him would sweep him into the past and Bucky would view his gift as a curse.
You pushed on his elbow from behind, guiding his arm up in a cradled position across his chest. With your other hand you interlocked your fingers with his, your thumb caressing the smooth hard metal. Your free fingertips now traced the golden veins which stood out against the midnight colors, every second watching.
Closer, you pulled him closer. You drew his cool fingers into your mouth. One digit at a time, your tongue swirled around each one, licking, sucking, admiring their taste. He hadn't taken his eyes off you. Your other hand stroked this muscular back, working its way around the edges of the towel wrapped around his waist.
"Sugar…"
"Yeah, Buck?" you asked, taking his fingers out of your mouth.
"I'm sorry for how I spoke to you this morning." He was looking directly at you rather than the mirror as he apologized, you could see the sincerity in the glimmer of his cerulean blue orbs.
"Thank you."
"I shouldn't have."
"No, but I think I understand what you were feeling."
"Forgive me?"
"I forgive you, Bucky."
This time he initiated the kiss. Lips covering yours. Tongues dancing together. Longing and love exchanged in the act of passion. Bucky wrapped his arm around you and pulled you into his lap. 
"I want you to see what I see," you whispered as you finally came up for air.
You turned to look over your shoulder at your reflections before facing Bucky with a smile. There was enough action under his towel for you to work with. You climbed off his lap and started to kneel down in front of him. But Bucky grabbed your arms just as your first knee touched the floor.
"Sugar-"
"Let me show you, show you how much I love you." You slipped your fingers into the small space where the towel was tucked in on itself.
"Just hang on-"
"Buck, it's okay, really!"
You tried to stop him leaning backwards, but he was intent on his action. Bucky grabbed a pillow and handed it to you. "The floor's pretty hard. I know, I sleep on it."
You accepted his offering gratefully, dropping it to the floor, you felt immediate relief as the hard wooden floorboards were no longer pressing your knees. It allowed you to focus your attention back on exposing him.
The towel fell open with little effort and you worked on tracing a trail along his thighs with the tips of your fingers. It made you smile to see the line of goosebumps which erupted on his skin. Gently you wrapped your palms around his shaft.
You started with a simple kiss, pressed against his tip. And you felt him respond. Your lips slipped over him again, taking him a little further into your mouth. A smile crept across your features as you heard him suppress his moan.
Bucky reached down to touch your face, there was a tenderness in his expression which made you feel a new kind of warmth inside you. It made you want to give your boyfriend everything you had to offer. 
Slowly, you stroked the underside of his shaft, just under the head where you knew how sensitive he was. He rose magnificently under your touch. His hands surrounded your head and he threaded his fingers through your hair with a hum of pleasure. 
"You watch in there," you jerked your thumb behind you. 
The long tortuous vein that ran along one side of his magnificent member received an extraordinary amount of attention as you traced its journey from the base to the tip. The tip which was now flushed, pulsing with excitement.
You offered him a coy smile before dropping your head. Lips enveloped him, engulfing him with the warmth of your mouth. Once, twice. The third time you dragged your now puffed up lips, giving a lap of your tongue against his meatus for added effect. Tucking away your teeth, you hollowed out your cheeks and sucked hard, hard enough to turn his hum into a strangled gasp followed by the most erotic groan you'd heard from him.
Bucky's fingertips massaged your scalp, tugging at the strands lightly to help set your pace. You reveled in the tiny whimpers that left his lips as you worked on him. 
His cock throbbed lightly, you could feel it in your mouth. He was rapidly reaching his climax and you wanted to help him along as best you could. You edged one hand down to his balls, taking both into your palm and rolling them between your eager fingers.
Eventually Bucky did the one thing you'd asked of him. He looked up. He wasn't sure if his vision was blurred because of his dilated pupil, or if it was the flush across his cheeks, but he barely recognized the man he had seen in the mirror for the last few years. He felt strong and confident and loved. 
Instinctively his hips thrust towards you and his cock slid further down your throat. He groaned, louder than before. His fingers clambered desperately at the duvet cover, trying to find an anchor for the oncoming storm.
You bobbed your head, deeper each time, inch by inch. His tip grazed the side of your mouth, the inside of your cheek, nearing the back of your throat. Lips sucking, tongue twirling, fist pumping. Over and over. Faster and faster. His breaths came hard and fast. Until that moment arrived. 
His eyes closed and muscles tensed. Hot, white cum exploded out of him with a strangled cry. Bucky’s body undulated as you pulled back while swallowing his load. As his pleasure subsided, you took him back into your mouth, lapping off the sweet elixir you'd milked from him.
Once you'd had your fill, you climbed back up onto the bed to sit at his side. He turned his head to face you and smiled. You pressed your forehead against his, your noses brushed against each other.
"Did you see?" you asked him. 
He nodded slowly. "Yes."
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remotepixel · 2 months
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I love your stories so much!! I've really been wanting more platonic yandere marvel stories and yours are so amazing! Is it alright if you could write a platonic yandere bucky? ❤❤
I'm so happy you like my work (twirling my hair and giggling rn) <33
Also, thank you for requesting!!
Tw: Yanderes themes + stalking!
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I think, at first, he wouldn’t want to be near you more than necessary.
-It sounds mean (and he definitely feels guilty) but the guy’s still trying to figure out what he’s going to do now, after years of being brainwashed and only having one goal.
-There’s a lot of internal confusion going on and adding yandere traits that he’s 99% sure are not normal only pushes him further towards the edge.
-However, if you stay persistent in getting to know him, or Steve encourages him to make new friends, he would hesitantly embrace these traits as part of his new life.
He definitely has a soft spot for you.
-His face would remain as stoic as ever (force of habit) but, around you, you would see a ghost of a smile he would never directly admit.
-He’ll joke around you, mainly sarcastic comments or the type of jokes that aren’t that funny but you laugh anyways, and would playfully shove you with an eyeroll if you make a stupid one back.
-He’ll listen to you explain all the new modern tech, complain about school - anything if it makes you happy.
-He would be wary of physical intimacy (especially because of his metal arm), but I think he would warm back up to it.
-He likes having your head lean on his shoulder, or messing up your hair despite your protest.
-It grounds him in a way, let’s him know he’s here, in this moment, and not freezing alone.
He wouldn’t be as outright controlling as some of the others.
-He knows what it feels like to be a passenger in your own life and wouldn’t want to inflict that onto someone else.
-Despite any thoughts he might have against it, he wouldn’t restrict what you do (unless it could put you in danger of course), even if it means not hanging out for a while.
Although, he might stalk you.
-He internally argues with himself every time he does it, but he’s just concerned for your safety.
-Apart from court-mandated therapy or talking to Steve, he suddenly has free time he doesn’t know how to fill.
-In his mind, he’s helping you and calming the swirling pit in his stomach whenever he thinks about you being in danger.
He’s overprotective, even if he tries to draw it back.
-Protecting you has become his new purpose and, despite all of the unlearning he’s being forced into, he still feels a sense of duty to carry out his role no matter what.
-He’ll keep a careful eye of any of your friends (he doesn’t even want to think of you getting a partner) to make sure they’re treating you how they should.
-If they’re not, then the ex-Winter Soldier will be having a nice conversation with them (the next day, they’re suddenly apologising and actively avoiding you).
-He doesn’t want to be known as that anymore but he can’t say his reputation doesn’t have any benefits.
Opening up to someone after everything he’s been through was only a pipe dream, something to promise Steve he’ll try but know he’ll never achieve. But, as he watches you ramble about your day, he allows himself to consider it possible.
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I think this a bit shorter than normal I think but I was struggling lol
Also, I don't know where I got 1940s him being a fan of physical touch from but I added it so...
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kitsune024 · 1 month
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Stucky Fic Recs Part 2 - will add later
Bucky and Steve's Excellent Adventure by blue_beans I Chapters: 48/48 I Completed Post-Avengers: Endgame Bucky Barnes is very suicidal for a good chunk of this, Sentient Infinity Stones, Fix-It fic, Action/Adventure, Time Travel, slow burn
Six months ago, Steve set out on a final mission to return the infinity stones to their proper timelines, and returned a minute later having lived out a life of peace and contentment with Peggy Carter in the past. He died in his sleep a few days later, surrounded by his friends. Or so Bucky assumes. He wouldn't know, he'd been busy being locked up on the Raft while the government decided whether or not to pardon him for the whole Winter Soldier thing. What with the court-mandated therapy and the constant surveillance by alphabet agencies and the crushing weight of his past, he's not sure if giving him a chance at "normal life" is more cruel than the alternative. But he's doing fine. Great, actually, so don't ask. He didn't have a nightmare. Especially not that strangely disturbing one about Steve... *** AKA I wanted to write the reverse time-heist and I'm still salty about Endgame. This is the result.
Seasons of War by eretria I Chapters 11/11 I Completed Friends to Lovers, World War II, war horrors, Dark
Chasing Bucky, always a step behind, Steve remembers the cycle of seasons that took him from the raw and naive young man to the Captain America who led the Howling Commandos into hell and, except for Bucky, out again. As his memories center on Bucky, one question haunts him: Is the Bucky he knew in the war the same one he knew before?
ampersand by kaydeefalls I Chapters 1/1 I one shot World War II, Friends to Lovers, the Winter Soldier started long before Bucky fell from the train
They've been steveandbucky since they were kids, but that ignores the parts of their lives that don't wrap around each other, that never did. (Bucky needs to figure out who he is, just him, with or without Steve.)
In Vain by kireteiru I Chapters 1/1 I one shot James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers(unrequited), Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers, Endgame, All hurt no comfort, not a fix it :(
"Nothing of the heart remains, Even if we could've stayed, We've been here long enough, Long enough to know it's all in vain. Everything we tried to say, Up until the final day, I guess we said enough, Said enough to know it's all in vain." _ "In Vain", Within Temptation (Resist) A choice was made, and now the world will bear its consequences.
i'm the furthest thing from heaven, but the closest to home by @buckyismybicycle I Chapters: 6/6 I Completed Guardian Angel Bucky, Identity Reveal, Canon Divergence, Memory Loss
When Steve loses Bucky in Kreischberg, he’s lost the only thing left he cares about. He crashes the Valkyrie into the Arctic, ready to be reunited with his love, but instead, he’s saved by an angel. Except this angel isn’t like the ones he’s read about — no, his angel is armed to the teeth and has wings the colour of blood and night. Yet, there’s something eerily familiar about this angel.
Good God, Let Me Give You My Life by @bellefyre I Chapters 6/6 I Completed Bucky/others, One-Sided Relationship, Non-Consensual Touching, rape, Hydra, Steve/Bucky is Endgame
5+1 meme, five people over the decades who fell in love with the Winter Soldier and died because of him and the one person the Winter Soldier loved and lived because of him.
How to Woo the Winter Soldier by @writeonclara I Chapters 6 /6 I Completed funny fic, gift giving, Steve falls for the Winter Soldier before finding out his Identity, Courting, Identity Reveal, Identity Porn, bad ideas
“I think I’m ready to date again,” Steve said. “What,” Natasha said. “What?” Clint said, lowering his binoculars. He blinked at the dumbstruck look on the Captain’s face, then followed his gaze to where he was staring dopily at—at the Winter fucking Soldier. “Steve, no,” Clint groaned. Or: Steve courts the Winter Soldier.
Ready to Comply by @exclamation I Chapters 31/31 I Completed Canon Divergence - Post-CA: The Winter Soldier, Dehumanization, Hurt/Comfort-But Mostly Hurt, Angst, Protective Steve Rogers
The asset's orders at the end of The Winter Soldier weren't to kill Captain America, but to capture him, so that he could be wiped and turned into another asset. The asset has succeeded in that mission, capturing its target and taking him back to the Hydra base. But the Hydra soldiers are dead, captured, or fled, so there is no one there to give the asset new orders. Alone with its captive, the asset has no instructions on how it is meant to act. But the more time it spends with its target, the more old protocols start to assert themselves, like the protocol that when that face is hurt and bleeding, the asset is supposed to clean away the blood.
From Grit to Pearl by @bluesimplicity73 I Chapters 38/38 I Completed Bucky & Rebecca Barnes, Bucky Recovering, Body Horror, BAMF Bucky, BAMF Rebecca Barnes, Angst, AU - Canon Divergence, Hydra
He does not have a name. He has been called many things over the years; a weapon, a ghost, HYDRA’s Fist, the Soldier, and from what they have told him his work has shaped the century. But he does not have a name. His name, like so many other things, has been taken from him, stolen. Forgotten. Until the day it is not, and remembering, he breaks free, killing his handler and making his escape in a desperate bid for freedom. Frightened, lost and hurt, he seeks out the last person in the world he can trust, his baby sister, now an almost eighty-year-old widow, somehow knowing she is the only one who can help him. It is a difficult journey, one filled with pain, tears, and things that should not be possible. But also with recovery and redemption, rebirth and miracles, family and hope. This story is a love letter between Bucky and his sister Rebecca, the world, and eventually his childhood best friend, Steve Rogers, the boy he once loved. But ultimately, it is the love letter Bucky writes to himself, as he reclaims who he once was, discovers who he is now, builds a new life for himself and realizes he might, just might, be as strong, as beautiful, as precious as a pearl.
Bookmark Series
Til the Sun Goes Down by @scyllaya I Part 1 - 2 I Bucky & Loki, Thor & Loki, Kid Loki
Stucky with Fanart
to memory now I can't recall by @etharei | Chapters: 16/16 I Completed Time Travel, World War II, Memory Loss, Identity Porn, Alien Technology The Good Monster by Taste_is_Sweet | Chapters: 2/2 | Completed Canon Divergence, Transformation, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Body Horror, Self-Sacrifice, Self-Harm despite the threatening sky and shuddering earth (they remained) by @praximeter | Chapters: 20/20 | Completed Non-Consensual Body Modification, Canon Divergence, Identity Reveal, Drug Withdrawal, Body Horror, identity Porn, American Sign Language The Second Labor by @aidaronan I Chapters: 18/18 I Completed wartime imagery and violence, pre-serum steve, Alternative Timeline, Psychological Torture, Medical Torture, AU - Canon Divergence
Bookmark Series
Ipseity by @skyisgray I Part 1-3 I Completed Dissociative Identity Disorder, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Torture
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pagesfromthevoid · 1 year
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Covered in You | b.b. | 3
Bucky Barnes x superpowered!fem!reader
He wants what’s only yours
Word Count: 2k
Warnings: jealous Bucky, but otherwise nada
Author’s Note: I skipped a weird slot of time because I thought of a fun idea so this is more of an anthology than a series sorry ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Series Masterlist | Talk to Me!
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“Just…just text her, tell her to expect a phone call,” Bucky ordered as the officers escorted him to the cruiser.
Sam stood helpless for a moment, bewildered by both the request and Bucky’s lack of concern for being arrested. It’s not that Bucky wanted her involved; life was going back to normal for her. She didn’t need to get wrapped up in this. But he was certain that she would panic if he missed their Friday night ritual of Netflix and dinner. And her panic would result in her getting involved anyway —so it was best if she was at least warned.
With a frustrated breath, Sam shot her a text before making his way to the precinct to deal with the mess.
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Turns out, the three hour drive from Brooklyn to Baltimore was just enough time for her to get to the station just as Bucky was being released. Sam was standing at the counter with Dr. Raynor and Walker, who were quietly talking amongst each other. But Bucky was annoyed, disinterested in interacting with any of them as he beelined for the front door.
However, just as he reached for the handle, the door swung open and there she was, colliding with him. Bucky was caught off guard but shot his hands out to grab her shoulders so she wouldn’t fall back. The commotion caught the attention of the three at the counter, who all turned to see Bucky holding a very angry young woman.
“What is wrong with you!” She whisper-yelled at him. Bucky felt embarrassment creeping up his neck, and pushed her back out the front doors of the precinct.
“What are you doing here?” He demanded, holding her by the upper arm as he pulled her towards the side of the building. “I told you —it was fine, I had it handled —,”
“You got arrested, of course I’m here,,” she reminded him, trying to pull her arm from his grasp. “Let me go.”
“No,” he responded, voice soft but stern as he glared down at her. “I told you to stay home; that I would be back soon.”
“If you don’t let me go, I will make you let go.”
He should have believed her. Bucky should have dropped his grip on her arm the moment she asked, but he was angry and embarrassed. However, he should have known better than to push her —she was an Avenger long before he had met her. There was a reason for that.
Hence why he should have believed her. Because before he could get another frustrated comment out, the bushes outside the building wrapped around his arm and yanked him backwards. The roots pried his fingers off her arm then pinned his hands behind his back.
Bucky looked confused for a moment before he realized what she had done.
What he had made her do.
“I’m sorry,” he admitted. And he meant it. “I’m sorry. I-I…I shouldn’t have grabbed you —yelled at you. Any of it.”
“No, you shouldn’t have.”
The branches relinquished their grip on him, freeing his hands before returning to their normal shape against the wall. She crossed her arms over her chest, looking down at her feet for a moment. Bucky felt his throat close up for a moment, worried he pushed her too far this time.
“I’m really sorry —,”
“Why did you skip therapy?” She interrupted, looking up at him. Her brow was furrowed, confused and concerned as she stared up at him with curious eyes. “You said you were doing good. Were you lying?”
“No,” he quickly promised, taking half a step towards her. She didn’t step back. “No, I was doing fine. But I got caught up the last couple days. Something happened, and I just —I forgot.”
“You forgot to go to court mandated therapy,” she repeated, sounding unconvinced. “What have you been doing?”
Bucky stared her down for a moment, thinking back on what he had been telling her all week. He hadn’t lied necessarily. He may have omitted details but he hadn’t lied to her. Not outright.
“I went out of town. With Sam.”
She watched him with narrowed eyes, about to call him out when Walker and Sam walked out. She turned at the sound of a familiar voice, but made an obvious sound of displeasure upon seeing Walker and the shield on his back. However, the blonde man simply smiled charmingly, extending his hand.
“Wisteria —an honor to meet you. John Walker; Captain America.”
His comment, using her once alias, caught her off guard. It had been a long time since anyone used it; it was never needed after Sokkovia.
She looked up at Walker for a moment, confusion flashing across her features as she slowly took his hand. However, she corrected him quietly, giving her actual name over her alias.
“You are just as pretty in person as you are on tv,” Walker continued, smiling at her still.
“Oh, thank you —,”
“I’d like to leave,” Bucky snapped, stepping in front of her now to make space between her and Walker. “We have things to do.”
“And we would get them done faster if we worked together,” Walker insisted.
“What exactly do we need to get done?” She asked, peering up at Bucky with her brow raised.
“Nothing —,”
“Stopping terrorists —,”
Bucky and Walker spoke over one another, both giving each other dirty looks. Sam groaned in response, running a hand over his face.
“We need to get you home before we do anything,” Bucky insisted, wrapping an arm around her shoulders now to steer her towards her car.
While it wasn’t the first time he had done so, it was the first time he’d done it so brazenly in public. Bucky was not a PDA kind of man.
“Oh no, no, no,” she argued, ducking out of his hold and stepping away from him. “Whatever you’re doing —I’m coming with you.”
“Absolutely not.”
“Why the heck not? I’m still a superhero. Or did you forget already?” She waved her fingers some, the bushes slowly inching towards him again. “I just drove three hours to bail you out of jail. You think I’m going to let you run off to get yourself into trouble without me? I’m coming with you, Buck.”
Bucky eyed her for a moment, hesitating in his next move. But he knew she wouldn’t take no for an answer.
She never did.
“Dammit, fine, okay. Just —give me your car keys.”
She let out an excited little sound, clapping her hands together, then fished her keys out of her bag and tossed them to him. Bucky huffed in annoyance, shoving passed Walker. Sam followed close behind the two, watching her return to the usual bubbly self he knew.
She slipped into the front seat, instinctively moving her seat up to give room for Sam, who slid behind her. Bucky glanced at her, shaking his head as he got in and turned the engine over. He watched her from his peripheral as she turned to lean against the door, talking to Sam about what was happening and how she could help.
Bucky didn’t want her involved. He wanted her to go home, go back to the library. He wanted her to be normal, and safe.
Was that too much to ask for?
*****
Her laugh was…not a humored one. It was painfully forced, sarcastic as she clutched her heart. Bucky stood there awkwardly as Sam shifted foot to foot. Behind them, approaching with far more confidence than he should have, was Helmut Zemo.
“Oh my god,” she finally breathed out, falling against the wall. Her laughter faded out, turning into mild horror as she caught the Baron’s eye. “Oh my god you weren’t lying. You broke Zemo out of prison.”
“It is lovely to see you too, květ,” Zemo greeted, looking at her with a far too friendly smile.
“Don’t call her that,” Bucky ground out, giving the criminal a dirty look as he stepped in front of Zemo’s line of sight.
“Can I not greet the person I will be working with? I assume she is here to help, otherwise I must wonder why such a lovely woman is here with the two of you.”
As Bucky opened his mouth to argue, she peeked out from behind him, giving Zemo a tired but civil smile. May as well make the best of a bad deal, as far as she was concerned.
“I am here to help,” she confirmed, earning an annoyed grunt from Bucky as she stepped around him. “Though I don’t know how you can help.”
“You wound me, květ,” Zemo chuckled, putting his hand over his heart. “Besides being incredibly knowledgeable in the serum, I am also wonderful company to keep.” He reached out, extending his hand to her. She took it hesitantly, though he pulled it close to press a kiss to her knuckles. “Besides, I am quite sure you will get more conversation from me than the soldat.”
Before Bucky could make a move, she yanked her hand away from him, frowning —repeating what he had said earlier. “Don’t call him that.”
Zemo raised a brow, glancing between her and the former assassin, before putting his hands up in surrender. “My apologies.”
“If we’re done with the introductions,” Sam finally interrupted, stepping back into the hangar. “I’m pretty sure Zemo has a plane for us.”
“Ah, yes,” Zemo confirmed, turning away from her and Bucky now to lead the way to the strip.
Sam kept close to Zemo, but she fell into step with Bucky a few yards back as she hoisted her go bag over her shoulder. He reached over and snagged the bag from her, his free hand going to rest against the small of her back as he guided her forward.
“You don’t have to defend me,” he murmured, leaning down close to her. “But I appreciate it.”
“Zemo is just trying to get under your skin by flirting.”
“It’s working.”
They stopped a few feet from the plane, waiting for Zemo and Sam to board before Bucky turned to look down at her. Sunlight danced around her, circling her around her like a golden halo. He couldn’t help himself; he reached up and touched her cheek softly, running his thumb across the bone. For a few minutes, they simply stood outside the plane, watching each other.
“You’re jealous of Zemo?”
He huffed out a laugh, shaking his head. “I’m jealous of anyone who gets any of your attention.”
“Why is that?” She asked, trailing her fingers up his arm before gently taking his wrist in her hand.
“Because I —,”
“Seriously!” Sam’s voice broke into Bucky's statement, grabbing their attention. “Unless you’re finally gonna kiss her, get your asses on the plane.”
He dropped his hand, an annoyed growl escaping his lips as he turned to the plane, about to walk away. “I’m gonna kill him.”
She stopped him, fingers still wrapped around his wrist. He looked over his shoulder, dropping her go bag to his side as he turned back to her. He said her name simply, as if trying to prompt her to move again. With a rather confident step forward, she gave him a soft smile before she pushed up on her toes and pressed her lips to his.
Bucky dropped her bag, responding immediately to her mouth on his by taking her face in his hands. Weeks. He had been wanting for weeks to kiss her. But he never knew how to bring himself to do it, or if she really wanted him to. Every chance he thought he had, he would back out at the last second.
Leave it to her to make the first move; she always did.
When they pulled away, resting their foreheads against one another to catch their breaths, she let out a soft laugh.
“You don’t have to worry about anyone else,” she promised him, just as he leaned back in to steal another quick kiss. He couldn’t get enough. “I’m only yours, Bucky.”
———
květ —flower
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gaysindistress · 4 months
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Things that I think would happen if Bucky dated an Egyptian!reader
Based on this request from @aesthetic0cherryblossom
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disclaimer: credits to original creator/poster of image/gif. found on google/Pinterest
1. Bucky has always been fascinated with Ancient Egypt 
American Egyptomania is what they call the time of renewed interest in the culture of ancient Egypt that happened in America in the late 19th century and early 20th. Like I mentioned in my first Arab reader headcanon list, with Bucky being from Brooklyn it’s likely that he experienced more diversity than most. Also with how social he was, I genuinely believe that he would’ve experienced more than Steve. Anyways his exposure to ancient Egypt would have come from the many museums in New York that were a part of Egyptomania however his knowledge about “modern” Egypt would have stemmed from his interest in the first world war. Egypt had a significant but forgotten role in the war and with his dad dying during basic training, I can see him having a special interest in it and thus learning more about Egypt. 
Now, fast forward to 2023 a form of self-care for Bucky would be going to museums and essentially re-learning everything that he spent years reading about as a kid. And we know that he was a reader because he read the Hobbit when it first came out in 1937. It didn’t become mainstream until almost 3 decades later in the 60s so that would lead me to believe that he read literally everything that he could.
Back on track now, these museum trips are a way for him to catch up, as well as feel connected to who he was before. 
Since he is tied to D.C. thanks to his government mandated therapy,  he goes to the Smithsonian more than any other ones. He loves the Eternal Life in Ancient Egypt exhibit more than anything, and he visits it all of the time. 
Once again, this is where you come in. You two didn’t meet at the museum but instead literally ran into each other as he was leaving therapy. He was in a terrible mood and ran straight into you, spilling your coffee all over your white shirt. He felt awful and apologized profusely but you weren’t concerned. 
“I don’t even like this shirt anyways,” you told him with a smile that made him swoon. 
After that, he’d see you every week after his appointment and he slowly started to look forward to Dr. Raynor. She made a comment about it which he quickly shut her down saying that “maybe our sessions are helping or maybe I just want to get out of here.” She reminded him that she could extend his court mandated appointments if she thought it necessary. 
Finally he worked up the courage to ask you out and offered to buy you a new shirt. You accepted and told him that lunch would be a better replacement. He let you pick the place and you took him to Fava Pot, the only good Egyptian restaurant aside from your kitchen. 
The two of you talked for hours about everything and nothing at all. Slowly the topic of you being Egyptian came out and it took everything in him to not lose his shit. Before he could stop himself, he told you all about how he’d loved Ancient Egypt growing up and how he’d go to the Smithsonian almost weekly to look at the exhibits. At first you did say a word but then the giggles erupted for you, causing everyone to look at your table. You grabbed his arm and drug him out of the restaurant without a word about why and the poor guy was so confused. 
You finally explained that you would give him a real tour and alas your weekly museum dates were born.
2. Your culture is hard for him to grasp at first. 
Important note for this hc": there is a very old and heated debate about whether or not Egyptians are Arab. While I’m Arab, I’m not Egyptian and not at all qualified to even touch that debate. With that being said, the cultural differences were specifically requested so my hope is that this section comes across as neutral in regards to that debate. If it doesn’t or i get something wrong, please correct me. Everyone deserves accurate representation.
As I said in my first Arab!reader list, there is a lot of misinformation about the Middle East and North Africa which makes research very difficult. The above debate is a prime example of this. Bucky tries really hard to do as much research as he can on his own so that he can surprise (and impress) you but ultimately has to ask you. He takes it as a personal hit that he can’t do everything in his power to understand you better because you’ve done that for him. However you remind him that he’s an Avenger and literally has biographies written about him. 
“Rouhi, no one is expecting you to be a walking encyclopedia. Let me help,” you said in a gentle tone one night when he was getting frustrated with whatever show he was watching. 
“That defeats the purpose of me learning about your culture. I should be able to do it on my own,” he threw back from the couch where he’s laying with the cat that he definitely didn’t want on his chest. 
“You can do a lot of other things on your own. You’re a big boy, you’re 107! This, however, is difficult for anyone and I’m more than willing to help.”
He glared at you for calling him that and for pointing at his age but his gaze softened when you dropped onto the ground next to him with a plate of food. After that, in addition to your Arabic lessons, the two of you play trivia so he can learn more. It’s really you quizzing him on flashcards and every one he gets right, he gets a kiss. The arrangement works out in both of your favors really. 
3. The more serious your relationship gets, the more Egyptian traditions/norms he incorporates into your life. 
This starts out with little things like taking his shoes off when he walks in. With time he’ll start adding more things like visiting your family as often as you can as a couple and bringing some sort of gift, usually sweets or the chocolates that your dad loves. During dinner, he’ll make sure to get a second plate and leave a small amount leftover. He’ll change how he compliments you by making an effort to compliment specific things like how your hair looks that day or how he likes when you wear black. He’ll also start showing gratitude when you compliment him by responding to a compliment on the same thing. For example, if you tell him how good he looks that day, he’ll tell you that you look radiant. If you’re Muslim, he’ll add “Allah Yen’im ‘alik” which is how you wish someone Allah’s blessings (from my understanding). 
Eventually he acts more Egyptian than you when you’re with your family and your mom will not let you forget it. She’s always telling you that Bucky is such a good man and how he’d be the perfect son in law. Those conversations are usually followed by her asking when you’re going to get married and looking him dead in the eyes to make her point clear; hurry up and propose. Ever the charmer, he’s able to rely on that Brooklyn sweetheart that lives inside of him and move the conversation to something else. Of course, your mom knows what he’s doing but she’ll allow it because she can feel the proposal in her bones (and it never hurts to have that brilliant smile directed at you.)
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themorningsunshine · 1 year
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Dancing in the rain
This is for @traitorjoelite​ ‘s #sweet as sugar challenge.. I chose to write ‘friends to lovers’ in the marvel universe. 
Pairing - Bucky Barnes x f!reader 
Word count - 1.4k
Warnings - None :)
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"And then he turned back into himself and went, "AAHHH!!! It's me! And then stabbed Thor". Bucky couldn't help but smile as you giggled after telling him your favorite Loki prank, of how Loki had once turned himself into a snake and stabbed Thor when they were mere kids. He would have commented on how Loki -like that was but right now, he couldn't care less.
He just looked at you, telling him a story to cheer him up with your hands moving for emphasis and he couldn't care less about the story. As a small smile crept across his lips, he realized he could listen to you talk about the weather and would still be enthralled.
He had had a bad day. They happened more often than not to him, honestly. He could get frustrated at the smallest of things these days. The coffee might be too sweet. The roads are too loud. The weather is too humid. Anything.
But today, it was much worse. He had his court-mandated therapy session today and it was exhausting. He rarely ever answered Dr. Raynor's questions but she was coming up with new ways to get him to talk. He knew she was just doing her job, but it annoyed him to no end.
When he walked out of her office, pissed and feeling like he was about to close up on himself, he called the one person he knew would help him feel better, you. He would have been more than happy to just talk to you over the phone but you told him you were just in the neighborhood and that he should meet you in the nearby coffee shop. He didn't have to be told twice.
The waiter's voice brings Bucky back to reality and he realizes it's time to leave. He might not have noticed, but a couple of hours had already passed.
The both of you start walking towards the gate of the cafe as you lean in towards him to whisper, "Buck, you wanna talk about it now?"
Bucky just shakes his head. He hadn't told you before because he badly needed anything to distract him, and you understood. You always did.
This time, he just smiles at you. He is feeling much better now. He would even go as far as calling himself happy or at least content.
When the both of you walk out of the door, the smell and the winds hit you before you hear the pitter-patter of rain. It was raining, heavily and it looked like it had been for an hour.
Bucky looks at you when he is about to call a cab but he can't get himself to speak. You have taken a small step in the rain and with your face towards the rain, you have closed your eyes as the raindrops touch your features gently.
As a few of the raindrops slide through your face towards your shoulder blades, Bucky feels an unreasonable pang of jealousy towards the rain. How it could caress you so gently without the fear of hurting you in the slightest. Oh, what he would give to be able to do that.
As if your feet had a mind of their own, you took a step further and were now, drenching in rain. But you couldn't care any less. The rain had always provided you with ecstasy. It was your escape from reality, where you could just close your eyes for a moment and pretend like the rest of the world didn't matter.
Bucky watched as you stepped into the rain and with a small smile on your face, spread your hands. Your feet started to move and before you knew it, you were dancing in the rain.
You were whirling and leaping like you weighed no more than a sprite. Your fingers slice through the rain and spend a spray of water for you to dance through in the next second.
And Bucky could swear he had never seen anything so beautiful in his whole life.  Completely forgetting about the cab or heading home, he just stared as you whirled through the rain. He was sure he had forgotten to breathe too.
After what felt like an eternity or could just be mere seconds, you slowly opened your eyes to be met by the blue ones you had become so familiar with. You widened your smile and Bucky could swear he saw a mischievous glint in your eyes.
You walk towards him, your smile unflattening. Bucky narrows his eyes at you but can't help but smile back.
"Dance with me?" You whisper to him as you bring your hand forward.
Bucky shakes his head, "Doll, That's - " All his excuses die on his tongue when he looks into your eyes. With the rain still falling on your face, and the slight light of the street light brightening your features, Bucky realizes you didn't just look beautiful, you looked ethereal. How could he ever say no to you?
He puts his hand in yours and your smile widens even more. For a moment, Bucky wonders if you can feel the sudden warmth that engulfed his heart because of the touch too.
You bring his hands towards you, exposing him to the rain too. But Bucky realizes he doesn't mind the wettiness of the rain, or the smell or the winds, or even the people hurrying to protect themselves from the rain. All of that didn't trouble him anymore as the only thing he could focus all his senses on was you and the way you were looking at him.
You bring one of his hands to your waist as he hesitantly touches you and holds the other firmly in yours. Bucky gets a sense of deja vu as he remembers taking girls out for dancing back in the 40s. Steve told him he used to be a ladies' man back in the day. But he knows it's nothing like now. None of the girls were as beautiful as you. He didn't feel as strongly for anyone as he does for you.
He hesitates for a second, realizing he doesn't really know the steps. A lot of things had changed since the 40s. Who knows how much dance had changed too?
But when you smile at him, he realizes it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter that he doesn't know the steps. It doesn't matter that he doesn't remember the last time he had done this or the fact that the both of you were drenching in rain in the middle of the road, most probably about to make fool of yourselves. The only thing that mattered was that you were here, smiling at him, looking at him as if he had hung the stars. And he realizes that this is all he will ever need. You are everything he'll ever need.
The both of you start swaying a little. None of you notice that there is no music to guide your steps, you just let each other guide you through.
With your hands in his, all you see is the blue of his orbs and it's like drowning in an ocean except the difference is, you let yourself drown in them because it feels like if you fall deep enough, you'll reach home.
The rain, the cafe, the people, everything dissolve until it was just the two of you.
Bucky's eyes follow the path of a raindrop as it falls from your head, through your stained cheeks, and to the softness of your lips. His eyes linger there for a moment longer and he hopes you don't notice. But you do.
You rise on your tip toes until your eyes level with his and lean in. You stop just as your lips are about to touch his and look up at him, giving him the chance to pull away. Instead, he leans in until your lips meet.
It is the softest and the most gentle of kisses. And even though the both of you are drenching in rain, you are surrounded by a warmth none of you has ever felt before.
Bucky used to hate the rain. But if they mean he could always be this close to you, dancing through the rains as if the demons of the world didn't matter, maybe he could learn to tolerate them. Because you will always be his anchor in the storm.
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