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#bucky makes amends
bionicbarnes · 4 days ago
You Weren’t My Mission: Ch. 2
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Chapter Two – Making Amends
TW: alcohol, mentions of violence and death
Note: Hello! All chapters will have warnings at the beginning of their content and possible triggers. If you find that I miss any triggers, please let me know and I will add them to the chapter warnings as soon as possible. Thank you! <3
Series masterpost
Also available on Wattpad and AO3
You stared blankly at the hand in front of you, still attempting to process his mere presence. After a few moments of silence, Bucky nodded and gave a slight grin, resting his extended arm on the edge of the bar.
“Tend to get that reaction,” he chuckled. ・:*:・゚☆
You stared blankly at the hand in front of you, still attempting to process his mere presence. After a few moments of silence, Bucky nodded and gave a slight grin, resting his extended arm on the edge of the bar.
“Tend to get that reaction,” he chuckled. You glanced up, meeting his eyes for the first time since he sat down. A look of worry and sympathy met your own hesitant gaze.
As you held eye contact, your mind reeled through what he’d said, trying to sort out what exactly he meant. Amends? What does he mean ‘make amends’? You didn’t realize that you’d asked your questions aloud in a frantic whisper until the bass of his voice rushed to your ears, making you jump.
“Sorry to startle you. Uh, it’s a part of this whole process I’m going through,” he explained. He paused, waiting for some sort of reaction, but you sat frozen still. “I’ve been meeting with different people that I hurt — no, the Winter Soldier hurt — over the years on Hydra missions. You’re one of the last few names on my list.”
You gave a small nod, eyes darting back to the hand resting against the bar. His list? you wondered. It was then that you noticed how long you’d been holding your breath. You let out a small sigh and briefly closed your eyes, attempting to ground yourself.
“Why?” you asked, shifting your gaze back to his. Your voice was small, barely above a whisper, but he managed to hear you.
Although quiet, your question seemed to grant him some relief from the silence that had been hanging. Taking in a deep breath, he explained, “You were one of the few people who survived Hydra’s attack on The Tribune. I’m sure you know that, though.”
You nodded, mind taking you back to the scene at the hospital in the aftermath of the attack.
Of the forty or so staff members in the office at the time, only six of you had survived. As you laid in your bed at the urgent care clinic, nurses and doctors rushing around you, you kept your eyes pinned on the entrance, praying that more of your coworkers would be wheeled in. After hours of watching from your bed, you came to accept that it was just you six that had made it. You’d lost your best friend and boss. The only person you knew well of the survivors was your boyfriend at the time, who you watched be rushed into the ER as a piece of shrapnel stuck in his side was dangerously close to shrinking that survivor count down to five.
You were snapped back to the present by the clinking of glasses behind the counter, Vincent cleaning up after a party had left.
“Are you going to hurt me?” you asked, meeting Bucky’s gaze once again. He winced at the question, his eyes showing a shimmer of empathy.
“No, I’m not,” he assured you. “I’m actually here to say that-.” He paused, taking a deep breath before continuing. “That it wasn’t me who did those things.”
Confused, you arched your eyebrow, to which he continued.
“I was controlled by Hydra for almost about seventy years. They kidnapped me after an accident in Europe while I was on active duty and brainwashed me, making me into a living weapon. I was the Winter Soldier, they made me an assassin. But I wasn’t me, I had no control over myself.”
You nodded, vaguely familiar with the story. You’d known and read about him as the Winter Soldier, a Hydra assassin. While his pardon signified that there was a difference between Bucky and the Soldier, your memories subconsciously considered them as one.
Bucky’s eyes returned a soft and regretful look, glancing down at his metal arm before holding out his palm between you. You stared at it, eyes running over its ridges and flecks of gold.
“They gave me this, the arm,” he explained. “Well, they gave me the old one. This one’s new, from a friend in Wakanda.” Images of his old silver arm raced, memories of the way his metal fingers firmly gripped his gun, a red star painted on his shoulder.
Your eyes flickered between his dark metal fingertips and his gaze, trying to piece together what any of this meant and why he was here in front of you.
“What do you mean by making amends?” you asked again. He’d given the gist, but you couldn’t understand why he was here or what he wanted from you.
Bucky shifted in his seat, relaxing a bit as he sensed your fear turning into confusion. He delved into explaining the process of his making amends, telling you about the types of people on his list and how he wanted to give people closure. He talked about the memory wipes, the separation between him and the Winter Soldier. You nodded along, mind finally wrapping around the concept when he abruptly stopped his explanation.
“I’ll let you go,” he offered, aware of his intrusion on your evening. “I just wanted to explain, you know,” he paused. “That I’m not that person anymore. Or, I guess, that I never was.”
He glanced at the bar top before pressing his hand against the surface, pushing himself out of his seat and onto his feet.
“Thanks for listening to me. I’m sorry for-“ he glanced at the ground before meeting your gaze again. “For everything.” He turned to leave, straightening his arms and stepping out from between your seats.
Your sudden grasp on his arm startled him, Bucky whipping his head around to face you again. He'd never been able to shake the fight or flight instincts that Hydra had intensified in him.
“You don’t have to go,” you suggested. “I mean, you can, but we can talk about it more.”
Bucky nodded slowly, not used to your reaction. Most people were glad to see him leave. But you wanted to know more.
“I think talking about it could help. You know, with the memories and stuff. Plus, I don’t really want to hate you if it wasn’t you that hurt me,” you explained.
Glancing between your grip on his jacket sleeve and your gaze, he hesitantly sat back down. “What do you want to know?” he asked.
“Do you remember it?” you pressed. You relived the memory each night in your sleep and every day at work for years afterwards. It was only recently that you’d been able to suppress it, sometimes making it a couple of days without acknowledging what had happened. How did he even remember you?
“I remember all of them,” he admitted, a hint of sorrow in his voice.
Wanting to break the tension, you waved Vincent over to your end of the bar and motioned towards Bucky’s empty hand. He ordered a glass of whiskey before turning back to you, a hint of a smirk on his lips. Maybe a drink would loosen him up, you thought, unaware of the serum’s restrictions.
While the alcohol had no effect on him, having the drink in his hands seemed to help him relax. He asked about how you’d been faring in the years since the attack, to which you shared briefly of the recurring nightmares and post-traumatic stress you’d faced. You feared that you’d shared too much, but he nodded along, a sympathetic look in his eyes. You weren’t opening up much but talking about it with him helped.
It wasn’t taking you long to recognize that the man in front of you wasn’t the same man who had eyed you down the barrel of his gun. Although difficult, the eye contact and talking with him helped you make this distinction, as did his understanding and willingness to listen. Even when you were sharing about the effects of the trauma had because of the Winter Soldier, things you knew probably weighed heavily on him, he nodded along and gave you his full attention. You felt comfortable telling Bucky these things, and he seemed comfortable around you; neither of you were fully relaxed, but at least were trying to talk.
“What have you been up to all these years?” you asked. “Since Tony, you know …” Ever since everyone came back from the snap, you’d heard about him from time to time, still referenced to by most news outlets as ‘the Winter Soldier.’ You knew he’d been pardoned and seen pictures of occasional sightings, the metal arm a dead giveaway of his identity, but knew little else. He told you he’d been living in Brooklyn the past few years, to which you were shocked that you’d managed to avoid seeing him for so long.
“I’m surprised we haven’t run into each other until now,” you quipped.
Bucky smiled, but you could see the subtle grimace beneath the expression. “Yeah, I’ve been steering clear of anywhere you’d be,” he admitted. Your eyes widened — how had he known where you were? Where you worked now? “I’ve got people who’ve helped me avoid running into you or anyone else around here,” he explained as though he could read your mind, but offering no further explanation. Truthfully, you didn’t want to know the details.
“Why now? What made you come here tonight?” you asked. It had been nagging you the entire evening — what made him come to see you now?
“I’d heard you come here in the evenings,” he offered, exposing yet another detail you didn’t really wish to know. “Figured I’d give you some time before just showing up, didn’t want to scare you more than I have.”
You nodded, grateful that he hadn’t come sooner. Things had gotten better with the nightmares and flashbacks in the past few months thanks to work getting busier, and if he had come to see you any earlier you would have undoubtably had an instant panic attack. You were admittedly creeped out that he knew you would be here, but given his connections, you guessed that he had intel on nearly whatever information he wanted about anyone. Plus, talking with him had proven fruitful for you, helping you disconnect Bucky Barnes from the Winter Soldier. He didn’t say it, but it helped him too, helping him humanize himself.
Over an hour had passed since he sat down, and your stomach twisted in hunger. You’d had two drinks without eating dinner; it was beyond time for you to go home and eat. As the conversation came to a lull, you shifted to face him fully, looking him in the eye.
“Could we meet again?” you ask hesitantly. “I think it may help me, you know, with processing what happened. Only if you want to, though.”
He paused to consider your proposition and you watched as the wheels in his mind turned, weighing the possible outcomes. A moment passed and the corner of his mouth twitched upwards in a subtle smile. He nodded in approval.
“I’ll come back by soon,” he assured. You nodded and stood up, grabbing your phone and bag before adjusting your shirt, smoothing your hands over your jeans.
“I’ll see you soon, then.” You gave a small nod and did a quick wave to say goodbye, not comfortable with shaking his hand quite yet. While talking to him helped, you weren’t exactly relaxed around him. It was going to take some time for your mind to fully separate him from the man who had threatened your life and ended so many others’.
Fifteen minutes later you were at your front door, fumbling in your bag for your apartment keys. Once inside, you set your bag in its usual spot on the bench in the doorway and walked to the kitchen, opening the fridge to grab the takeout you’d saved from the night before. You dished out your food onto a plate and stuck it in the microwave. As you waited for the timer to go off, you leaned back against the counter.
Besides the sound of the microwave whirring and the occasional honk from the street below, your apartment was completely silent. The silence always gave you time to think, whether for better or worse. Tonight, your mind wandered to the conversations you’d had, running through the details he’d shared and wondering if you’d said too much. Was meeting him again a good idea? Was this really going to help, or were you doing yourself more harm than good?
Just as you began to question yourself, the oven timer rang through the kitchen, making you jump. You grabbed a fork and took your plate from the microwave, walking to your living space to curl up on the couch. Normally you’d put on the news, your mind always focused on work and the need to stay up to date on current events. But tonight, you ate in silence, instead looking out the window at the city street below as your mind wandered back to your interaction with Bucky.
You desperately hoped that this wasn’t a horrible idea.
A/N: Thanks for reading chapter 2! I posted both chapters 1 and 2 back-to-back, and am gonna take a little bit to get chapter 3 up but already know where I want for it to go. This is gonna be a bitttt of a slow burn, if you haven't picked up on that yet. Thanks for sticking around!
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bionicbarnes · 4 days ago
You Weren’t My Mission: Ch. 1
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Chapter One – A Second Encounter
TW: alcohol, implied violence
Note: Hello! All chapters will have warnings at the beginning of their content and possible triggers. If you find that I miss any triggers, please let me know and I will add them to the chapter warnings as soon as possible. Thank you! <3
Series masterpost
Also available on Wattpad and AO3
His eyes were fixed on yours, gaze intense despite the physical distance between you. If the sight of his metal hand hadn’t confirmed that it was him, then his face solidified it. You’d seen this exact glare in your nightmares for years now. Although nearly a decade had passed since the last time you saw him, you had never been able to shake the memory. It was him, and you were sure of it. ・:*:・゚☆
Your thumb swept around the surface your glass, collecting the droplets of condensation that had begun building up. With one final swig you downed the remainder of your gin and tonic, eyeing the entryway on the lookout for any newcomers.
“You all done for the night, y/n?” Vincent wandered over, dish towel in hand, to collect your glass that was now only filled with ice and a slice of lime. He knew your routine by now — you only ever came by for a single drink after work, people-watching as you unwound before heading home to your quiet apartment. While you hadn’t ever told him that last part, he figured that if you had somewhere urgent to be that you wouldn’t be here every night, although he’d never ask.
“I’ll have another, actually,” you declared, voice unsteady as you weren’t sure in your choice. Typically you’d have one drink and leave, occasionally staying around a bit longer to sip on some water if you really didn’t want to go home that night. But the week had been long and it was only Wednesday; you wanted — no, needed that second drink.
“Sure ‘bout that?”
“Yea, I’m gonna hang around a bit longer tonight.” Vincent’s eyebrows raised as he did a slight nod, reaching below the counter for a new glass, to which you let out a playful scoff. “Don’t act so surprised,” you teased, “I mix it up sometimes.” While you rarely talked, you and Vincent had become more comfortable with your banter over the past year or so. Even the most guarded of patrons like you couldn’t avoid small talk with the bartender — especially not if you were a regular.
As you waited for your drink you scanned your surroundings, looking to see if anybody new had come in for a drink. Weeknights tended to be slower, but there were a few couples and groups of friends scattered throughout the room. You and a man no younger than 50 were the only ones seated at the bar, him closer to the entrance while you sat furthest away at the seat you knew had the best view of the place. Almost every night you were in this exact spot, sipping slowly on whatever drink you’d ordered, checking your phone for the occasional text message or work email, and people-watching. It was pretty rare for you to spend more than an hour there in one evening, but tonight it had been nearly an hour and here you were ordering a second drink.
You jumped when Vincent placed the new glass in front of you, your mind focused on the other people scattered throughout the room. He let out a light chuckle as he turned around, walking towards the other side of the bar; he was pretty used to your skittishness by now. Hand wrapped around your new drink, you brought your focus back to your surroundings. A couple seated at a small table to your right engaged in small talk, exchanging pleasantries in-between awkward sips of their drinks. Definitely a first date, you thought. A burst of laughter from a booth further away caught your attention, where a group of men in suits sat meeting for a drink after work. Aside from that, there was little commotion in the bar tonight. While commotion made for fun people-watching, you preferred the gentle hum of casual conversations on slower nights, the occasional clinking of glasses from Vincent’s cleaning or a new table being served.
Realizing a few minutes had passed, you grabbed for your drink and took a sip, eyes skirting over the rim of the glass as you spotted movement in the entryway.
Suddenly, you wished you hadn’t ordered that second drink.
A tall figure entered the bar, shoulders swaying with each step. When he came to a stop you finally took him in, eyes scanning over the black leather jacket that spanned his broad frame and running down to his hands. Dressed in all black, the flesh tone of his hand stood out. Which made the metallic black of his left hand all the more apparent, confirming what you had hoped was just another instance of unnecessary panic.
The brooding figure wasn’t foreign to you.
Your eyes glossed over as you remembered the last time you’d seen him all those years ago. While the nightmares weren’t as frequent and you were able to go days at a time without thinking about it, you were still able to vividly remember the moment. The way his eyes had met yours, menacing and unforgiving as you held back a wail of pain from the pressure of debris pressing on, or into, your torso. The fear that ripped through you when you registered the M4A1 in his tight grip, barrel pointed in your direction. The way you laid there, shaking and ears ringing, wishing that he, whoever he was, would keep moving past you, that he would leave you be. He had done just that, only pausing for a moment to assess your helpless position before lowering the barrel of his gun and trudging onward in his search for his true target.
So many times since then you thought you’d seen him again, only to sigh with relief when you saw the two flesh hands of whoever had startled you.
But this wasn’t one of those moments, and the sight of his metal hand confirmed it. It wasn’t silver like the one in your memory, but there were only so many guys out there with bionic left arms.
You came out of your trance to find that his eyes were fixed on yours, gaze intense despite the physical distance between you. If the sight of his metal hand hadn’t confirmed that it was him, then his face solidified it. You’d seen this exact glare in your nightmares for years now. Although nearly a decade had passed since the last time you saw him, you had never been able to shake the memory. It was him, and you were sure of it.
With a slight roll of his shoulders and a subtle nod, he dropped his gaze to the floor and began his slow descent towards the bar.
The sip of gin and tonic you had taken still sat on your tongue as you finally lowered the glass, letting the liquid slide down your throat and feeling the tingling sensation travel down to your chest. Your breath was shallow as your hands started to shake, to which you began fidgeting with the closest thing in front of you — the paper napkin that had been under your glass. As you ran your fingers along its corners and kept your eyes glued to the bar top, you felt his presence near yours, confirmed by the sound of heavy footsteps that approached.
The scent of fresh balsam and a bit of mint flooded your senses as you noticed him standing to your side, giving you a moment to take in his presence before sliding into the seat to your right. Having kept your eyes trained on the napkin at your fingertips, you subtly glanced over, noting the metal arm that was closest to you. It’s really him, you confirmed. Instead of a reflective silver like the arm you remembered, this one was much darker, a black metal with hints of gold in between the plates. You couldn’t see further up than his wrist, the rest of his arm concealed by the jacket.
It took everything in you to refrain from bouncing your leg against your barstool. Maybe if I stay as still as possible, you thought to yourself, I’ll make it out of here alive. You had no clue what he wanted and it terrified you.
The desire to fidget became all the more intense as you felt him shifting his upper body to face you while in his seat. Your breath hitched when his flesh hand came into view, extended for a greeting in your direction. He let out a low sigh as you shifted your gaze slightly, glancing at his hand before sheepishly making eye contact with the man who had once both threatened and spared your life. You watched as he slightly parted his lips, allowing for a gentle smile to form at the corner of his lips.
“Long time, no see, Miss y/n. I’m James ‘Bucky’ Barnes, and you’re a part of my efforts to make amends.”
A/N: Thank you for reading the first chapter of this story! I'm currently drafting up what will come next, but am in the end of a semester so it may be a few days until I have something ready to publish. This is my first longer work and I'm looking forward to the journey. Stay tuned for updates, and please let me know if you have any comments or questions!
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wyntered · 15 hours ago
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Bucky does not return to therapy and he doesn’t give his therapist Steve’s notebook. The notebook remains either on him or in a box under his bed. It is one of the few things Bucky has left of Steve it’s also something that deeply helped him.
Bucky does not finish his ‘list’ of people he needs to apologise to. The list is too long. He does tell Yori what happened to his son and promptly leaves after that. Bucky’s recovery largely deals with him coming to terms with who he was and what HYDRA made him out to be.
Bucky is fully aware that actions have consequences and the people he hurt deserve to know what happened to them. He will tell them, if they where ever curious (Like how Yori wondered what happened to his son). Bucky will explain, will tell them every detail.
The winter soldier and james barnes are two different people even if they share the same body. over time through his own methods of healing he learns a lot of new things. it’s not just making amends but getting rid of the conditioning he was forced under, it’s having self confidence again, its coming to terms with his own body.
He comes to accept his past and move on long before the events of FATWS, to try for a better future. He attends weekly VA meetings with Sam (sometimes without). And sometimes here and there he will talk to a therapist ( a new one). Bucky overall has come to terms with his past and is moving forward trying to find purpose in his life.
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iwannaban0nym0us · a day ago
My grade is planning for a prank day (which is a tradition for our school) and the doc is chaos so here is an [amended] copy of it:
[my grade] Prank Day 
hi guys convos can take up some space but go ahead we can just delete them later
Ideas (that we could use and are actually legal)
purge sound effect (or anything really) through the emergency speaker system or fake fire drill
replace the pop chips with vegetables or something
a fort in the [building name] plaza
shrines for people (bucky barnes, wanda, [grade dean], pop chips, amogus, taylor swift, emperor pika of the greater chu)
clever way to rick roll
obstacle course in the sport court
make utensils all knives (I feel like spoons would be better)
make the lunch a grape
put a gigantic shrek stuffed toy in the middle of the j plaza or an inflatable one
Make a loudspeaker announcement during the day saying something that we vote on
Cover [science teacher who left’s old room] in photos of [science teacher who left]
Rickroll literally everyone
Send a fake IT alert(we already have a fake tech office email account that I ([my friend]) made last year)
Dino to [newest building]
Send out a form and we do the thing that got the least votes
Announce a whole school meeting where literally nothing happens for 30 minutes (would have [school dean] do this or smth this isn’t possible with covid use your brains theres this thing called a zoom call you might of heard of it we have like csl days that are whole school
Let’s fill the sinks with orbeez
Hang up sharks around the I-lab (this is an FTC reference) (no its referencing the fact that the ilab is underwater) 
switch the outside [cafeteria], inside [cafeteria], and [building name] plaza tables and chairs
Delete the [grade below] they’re soo annoying
 Get a bunch of Mariachi bands to play across the school have them play different songs in different keys and time signatures but while next to each other and at the same time
 Baby on baby
 Switch all the class links on the [school name] website with someone else’s in a different grade
 Detour signs that go in a circle
 UWU into intercom
 TP [writing teacher]’s room (& [grade dean]'s?) yes do this please (I don’t even have [writing teacher])
switch all the one way arrows you realise that they are all permanently stuck to the floor then go over them
block the walkways to the [newest building](both of the ones by the [cafeteria]) (just do the detour thing to divert people away from it)
hold up honk if you (dis)like [my grade] signs at drop off (they do this every year we need to do it too)
fill a teachers room with balloons
Also here are some things that got deleted before I copied it:
Ideas (that we could use and are actually illegal)
bluetooth speakers or something + minecraft cave sounds AND MUSIC THAT MAKES YOU POOP in bathroom
Give everyone a kazoo and just constantly kazoo around campus
Give everyone toothpaste oreos >:) no hummus oreos instead, how do we get white hummus? hummus oreos actually taste good
Encourage people to take a bean boozled  “hey guys come eat my mysterious beans very covid safe” good point
Cover rooms with Taylor Swift covers :DD JKJK LOL NO NO NO OKAY IIKIK BUT HAH
who’s a chill teacher that would come to school lat like six am
Prank them by not doing a prank, but then at lunch we do our prank 
make an announcement saying the wifi is going to go out on campus (does it actually go out?) ddos the school (someone get LOIC) was about to send the link to it (it is literally malware but its because its a botnet) (so  download it anyways) (all of you) ask the admins if they give just sl cache permission we are better off just unplugging the wifi then ddosing the school yeah that’s probably a better idea
Can we get like food for everyone like cupcakes or something pleaseeeeee <3 this isn’t a prank IDC IT COULD BE PART OF ONE poison the cupcakes TAKE ME TO THE PLACE WHERE THE POISON IS laxatives (or we could just get food for the people who set up prank day)
Guys we should go to all the bathrooms and hang up a bunch of finneas in the boys and a bunch of billie in the girls bathrooms YES AGREED, and then in the gender neutral ones we can do taylor duh
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starklore · a day ago
I'm not even a huge Bucky fan, but the response to Bucky being literally brainwashed as "yeah he still needs to take responsibility" while Wanda accidentally commits manslaughter, an action where yeah, it was an accident but she wasn't brainwashed, had the Russos going "No one wants to see a good character punished". People talk about double standards but the other side of the coin is men are more taken seriously than women too, and that can be a form of sexism in its own.
You know what, yeah, this is a perspective I hadn't considered. It's weirdly infantilizing for Wanda (and Natasha, now that I think about it) to never experience consequences of their actions when the same universe has a man being made to "make amends" for things he literally didn't choose to do.
I bring up Natasha because--like yeah, she feels guilty for what she did pre-SHIELD, but it never comes back to bite her in the ass. Wanda feels bad for her mistakes too but she never suffers any actual consequences for them--which I don't think she necessarily HAS to, it's a fictional story, I'm not gonna send her to make-believe jail, but the double-standard is worth discussing.
Then again, the file dump in TWS was a team effort, and literally nothing bad ever happened because of it--like, how many covers did they blow doing that? How many people died because of that? And literally nothing came of it.
It's weird bc I talked about this on Twitter a couple months ago--it's so weird when people say Tony never faces consequences of his actions, when throughout the infinity saga he's essentially the only heroic character who DOES consistently experience consequences for his actions. Things he did pre-series will come back to bite him in the ass years later (like the Maximoffs), his mistakes in one movie will have an impact on future storylines (the accords) and that doesn't really happen consistently with like. Anyone else. (The file dump being the most prominent example I can think of but I know there's more.)
I think the only time Steve's actions ever have any consequences across movies is him defying the accords which sends him and Team Cap into hiding, but even that isn't really treated like a mistake, it's treated as him standing up for what's right--we're supposed to think him even more heroic for it.
And tbh you can think that if you want (I have complicated feelings on the conflict which mostly boil down to "they were both wrong but also it was a poorly written plot point in a poorly written movie) but even if you hold that he was right, the fact remains that Steve is never really allowed to make any authentic mistakes, and this will be controversial, but that doesn't make him an unproblematic cinnamon roll, it makes him a shoddily written character. (I don't say this as a hater. I love Steve; he had a lot of potential as a character, they just never really mined it. Anyways stan mm!Steve.)
Okay but back to the point. I think the MCU has an issue in general with being inconsistent on whose actions have actual consequences, but I also think the gendered aspect is a good perspective I hadn't considered. Hopefully the Bucky thing was a one-off and they get better about this in the future but idk.
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agentholland · 2 days ago
Желание. Семнадцать. Ржавый. Рассвет. Печь. Девять. Добросердечный. Возвращение на родину. Один. Товарный вагон
i am no longer the winter soldier. i am james 'bucky' barnes, and you're part of my efforts to make amends
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iflostreturntoillyana · 2 days ago
It took a lot, a lot for Bucky to gather up the courage to travel to Virginia. It was something he had to do. He knew. He couldn't pretend he was done making amends with this still up in the air. He needed to talk to Illyana but before he did that, he wanted to talk to her father. Bucky, although his heart was in the right place, had left and he had no right to show up again so if Illyana had moved on and was living well, he wasn't going to walk back into her life. It wasn't fair to her. But he didn't want to use his connections or training to find information on her either. He was living normal now, or at least he tried so seeing her father seemed logical.
He parked the car he had rented outside the house and walked up the driveway. He took a deep breath, lifted a hand and knocked on the door. Except it wasn't Patrick that answered the door, it was someone much shorter. Bucky looked down, brows furrowed at the kid who couldn't have been older than five. He looked familiar and judging by the kid's face he looked familiar too.
The boy stared. Bucky stared. It was basically a staring contest up until Patrick showed up behind the kid. Patrick looked at Bucky and then at the kid, telling the kid to go upstairs. If Bucky had shown up, he knew this was serious and it was no place for a kid.
"Illyana isn't home."
"I wasn't looking for Illyana."
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understandishable · 3 days ago
I've been thinking about how the last fatws episode was not good, first I thought I just didn’t like Walker’s ending but now I think I don’t like Walker, Sharon, Isaiah, OR Bucky’s endings.
1)Walker was developed really well as a villain and would have worked really well thematically/emotionally as the main villain of the show then ??? he’s just not???
Also ruined the weight of Lemar dying when Walker doesn’t even seem to be affected for very long and his wife falls into being his new support character
2)Sharon is sort of revealed as the villain at the end, which is a cool idea but isn’t given the time/narrative weight she should have
3)ep 5 shows Sam’s decision to become Cap really well, it’s parallel with Sarah’s decision to keep the boat. “It’s not smart but...”
Sam didn’t learn new information from what he thought/knew at the beginning. The dangers and complications of being a black Captain America are still there. In fact, after talking to Isaiah, now he knows that they’re worse than he ever knew. He admits that Isaiah’s view is legitimate and that he’d feel the same way in Isaiah’s shoes.
But he wants to anyway. He didn’t learn something new, the world hasn’t changed, but Sam has changed emotionally and he wants to take this on. “It’s not smart but...” he has to try.
So I think it works really well that Isaiah doesn’t agree. Sam isn’t objectively correct, it’s an emotional decision. There’s a tension/dissonance in ep 5 that is really good.
So why does Isaiah then have to come around and agree with Sam when it was totally unnecessary?
I also think the museum scene is a bit weird. Like Isaiah is convinced that he’ll be killed if Sam tries to tell people about him so...Sam tells people about Isaiah and it’s fine because it turns out Isaiah is wrong?
4)the whole thing with Yori is just weird, I know this is incredibly nitpicky and TV is a visual medium etc., but if Bucky wants to provide closure to people he should write them a letter and not come to their house and confess to them in the middle of the night. We get this weird incomplete scene where we don’t see Bucky and Yori’s full conversation, which several people have mansplained as the following:
“Ha! You’re not SUPPOSED to see the full conversation because it’s not about making Bucky feel good, it’s about doing the right thing for Yori!”
Like...this is a TV show where for the entire season, they built up Bucky’s confession to Yori and then Bucky goes to confess and all we see is Bucky giving a bizarrely incomplete explanation of what happened and then leaving. Sorry for thinking that a scene that was set up to be important was going to be important!
I was interested in Bucky and Yori’s story in the first episode. Bucky creepily-yet-sympathetically becoming friends with a guy whose son he killed could be super interesting and weird/dark/sad. But the darkness of that wasn’t really acknowledged or explored.
I like the idea of Bucky getting rid of the book, but...what if Bucky just got rid of the book after talking to Sam in ep 5. Like just threw it in the trash or something.
(Side note, I wanted to like Sam’s advice to Bucky more than I did--it’s so sweet that he gives Bucky advice, the actors sell it, Bucky looks like an angel in his blue shirt, but the idea that Bucky should be trying to “make amends” in the way he’s trying to do is just dumb.
It just needed to be slightly different. “It doesn’t matter what Steve thought. [Good!!!!] Don’t depend on other people to tell you who you are. [Good!!]" THE END OF THE CONVERSATION. Especially because putting Steve on a pedestal is why Bucky was being a jerk to Sam earlier in the show--it’s what Bucky actually deserves to be called out for. He was so insecure and so busy relying on Steve to justify his very existence that he couldn’t listen to what Sam was saying.
I mean, I like the advice that Bucky should try to be of service and that will help his’s just the fucking amends thing.)
Anyway, I feel like aside from The Notebook Bucky has a great character arc. Through his interactions with Zemo he faces the idea that “something is still in there” and, surprise, it’s not and even Zemo ends the show as a Bucky stan. Bucky gets to become a hero and help people and see his abilities in a more positive light instead of being afraid of them. And he goes from being isolated to having a found family.
All this happened naturally in the show.
And then they have to aggressively push in the amends and The Notebook and it’s like, S T O P. He already developed as a character and you’re just making it dumb by telling us he’s 100% better and fixed all his trauma, when there’s a low-key, natural recovery story happening right in front of us.
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merelypassingtime · 3 days ago
They dropped the ball.
They had a whole big scene about Bucky’s three rules for making amends and gave him a specific phrase to say during it, then never repeated them later: not when he was threatening Zemo, not when he was explaining his part in Yori’s son’s death.
What was the point of setting those up so clearly, if not to reiterate them later?
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golden-barnes · 4 days ago
I hope Bucky is in black panther 2 as a small role because it seems like he has to also make some amends with the wakandans since Ayo’s last words to him in the show was that he should make himself scarce in wakanda, but I think it’ll bother bucky that it was left a little strange. I was confused why they didn’t give him the white wolf name at the end of the show, so I’d assume he still has to earn it back or something IF they’re planning on giving it to him in titles and such
IMAGINE HIM IN WAKANDA..ah I want that Shuri and Bucky friendship I'm just saying.
Maybe he'll go to redeem himself like you say. It would be nice bc I think Bucky in the MCU needs to leave the Wintersoldier mantle.
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iflostreturntoillyana · 5 days ago
“ as long as you’re happy, don’t worry about me. “ or “ you deserve much better. “ or “ i’ll protect you. “ I couldn’t choose XD
It took the blip, five years, a pardon and recovery for Bucky to feel like he could even approach Illyana. He'd left without a word. He left a note though. He left a note explaining that she deserved better than what he could offer her. She'd met him at a difficult time in his life and while she was the best thing that could have happened to him, he couldn't be that for her. He was living on the run, dealing with PTSD and nightmares, and Illyana was too young and too good to be caught up in his life. He knew the moment he left the letter on her nightstand that she wouldn't understand. He knew she'd be upset and he knew she'd resent him.
But now he'd gone through every name in that notebook. He had made amends and had found a sort of peace within himself that at the very least allowed him to try to live normal, like any other civilian. There was one name that wasn't on that notebook though, and he still needed to make amends.
He'd done no research about her or her life now. He didn't want any information to deter him from what he needed to do. He knew she was alive and he knew her address and he'd stood outside the door for a good five minutes just convincing himself to knock. Would she even recognize him? He looked different, from what he was wearing to his hair, even his face. He looked less lost, too.
"I'm sorry." Were the first words out of his mouth. What came out of hers was unexpected. "What?" He looked lost again. She threw him for a loop. "This never had anything to do with my happiness."
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anna-phora · 5 days ago
Marvel Masterlist
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All stories are listed in order of release.
♥ - Favorite        ✉ - Requested
Gazes ♥ It’s become increasingly apparent to Sam and Bucky that you and Joaquin cannot take your eyes off each other.
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Nervous You don't know what to do about your huge crush on Bucky, so naturally you just avoid him, not really thinking about the potential consequences.
Nightmares Bucky wakes up from a nightmare to see you bursting through his door, making sure he's ok.
White Wolf on the Prowl It’s obvious to everyone that no matter how much he denies it, Bucky’s into you.
Best of Friends ♥  {This is a long series, so click for the masterlist} When your best friend steals marries Bucky’s best friend, the two of you are left with only one solution: to become best friends yourselves.
Mind Over Matter (OC) / Blank Out (Y/N) Bucky Barnes has a list of names–amends he needs to make. When he gets to one name in specific, he finds the amends process a bit more…difficult than it should be.
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Insomnia You've always suffered from insomnia. Luckily now that you're in the Avengers Compound you have Steve to watch movies with late at night.
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Playing House In the WandaVision Universe, Pietro and Iris settle into their roles as uncle and aunt.
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Heroic Notions You get caught helping the kids escape Transigen by Donald Pierce.
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chloecatina421 · 6 days ago
Henry Cavill One Shot
I requested the one shot where reader is being interviewed alongside Sebastian Stan and she fangirls over another actor and he gets jealous. Can you do one for Henry Cavill this time? 😊
You and your costar, Henry Cavill were in the middle of a press tour for your new movie. 
You had been really excited about the movie and having Henry play your husband because lets be honest, he is an amazing guy and extremely good looking. 
What you didn't know was that even though he was quite a bit older than you, Henry had a crush on you as well. 
"You doing ok love?"
Henry asks, sweetly rubbing your shoulders as the two of you take a quick break between interviews.
"Yeah, just a long day. You alright?"
You ask him as he sits back in his chair and you lay your head on his arm.
"I'm perfect."
He replies with a smile that you don't see, taking in the smell of your hair.
The next interviewer comes in and the two of you sit up, ready for the next round of questions.
"So, Y/N, your Marvel costars Anthony Mackie and Sebastian Stan's show The Falcon And The Winter Soldier just ended. Have you gotten a chance to see it yet?"
You smile. 
"I did. It was so good! I mean not that it wouldn't be. Mackie and Seb have this amazing chemistry and throwing in the rest of the cast, it was just utter perfection. I think it was exactly the right way to introduce Sam Wilson as the new Captain America."
You excitedly explain. 
"You play, Bella Stark in the MCU and Bucky's love interest. Was it weird for you not to be asked to be a part of the show?"
It was normal for you to get Marvel questions while doing press for other projects so neither you nor Henry were thrown by the sudden change in topic. 
"No, not at all. I mean Bella and Bucky's love story is so sweet and I know the fans love it, as do I and Seb but the show wasn't about that. It was about Sam inevitably becoming Captain America and dealing with all of the things that could hinder that and Bucky making amends for what he did as the Winter Soldier so he can put all of that behind him and the two of them learning how to become a team without Steve. I feel like if Bella had been added in there, it would have made the show about that and taken away from what it should have been."
Henry turns to you, impressed by your answer.
You give him a quick smile and turn back to the interviewer.
"Well hopefully we will see Bella again soon. I know the fans are hoping for that too. You and Sebastian have some crazy chemistry of your own."
You laugh at the last comment.
"Sebastian and I are really good friends so its easy for us to play those characters."
"So there is nothing going on between you too? No little crushes?"
Henry looks up from the cup in his hands with the question.
You shake your head.
"No,no,no. I love Sebastian but no, there's nothing like that between us."
You say and Henry relaxes a bit. 
"Now Mackie on the other hand can get it."
You add in, wiggling your eyebrows.
"Mackie? Really? I love it!"
The interviewer replies with a giggle.
"Oh yeah. Did you see him in the Cap suit in the last episode? Oh hot dude."
Out of the corner of your eye, you can see Henry fidgeting in his seat, very obviously uncomfortable. 
Soon, the interview ends and you and Henry are alone again. 
"Hey, you alright?"
You ask, placing a hand on his arm. 
"Yeah, I'm fine."
He says, his tone low and distant.
"No, you're not. Wait, is this about the Anthony thing?"
Henry turns to look at you. 
"Maybe. I don't know I just didn't really like having to hear you talk about another guy like that."
You let out a giggle. 
"Henry, yeah I think Mackie is super attractive but he is a taken man with kids. It's just an attraction. No big deal."
"So does that mean the attraction between us is no big deal?"
He asks, seeming a little hurt. 
"No. The attraction between us is very real and getting to the point where if you don't finally ask me out, I may just have to do it myself."
You joke, giving him a wink and a kiss on the cheek just before the next interviewer walks into the room.
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starshipsofstarlord · 6 days ago
Everything coming out this week;
Side note; requests that I have received will still be being released, but I have found putting them on the schedule does not encourage me to write them, in fact, it rather does the opposite - I will admit that last weeks schedule was a mess, I felt so unmotivated and drained, I will most definitely try my best to release all these fics this week x
Monday 3rd May;
All mine - Liam Dunbar x reader
summary; alec, scott’s new beta has a thing for liam’s girl, and sufficed to say, liam is anything but happy about the predicament
Hugs and more - college!Bucky Barnes x reader
Summary; Bucky comes home from college, to find that his girl has broken into his apartment.
Tuesday 4th May;
Wolves in California - Scott McCall x omega!reader
Summary; a new beta crosses paths with Scott at the veterinary, all thanks to Deaton. She is wounded and needs a reason to carry on.
Remember my name - Steve Rogers x ronin!reader
summary; five years is a long time, but now there is hope of returning those that turned to ashes to the reality. as a former member of the avengers, steve sets out to find you, finally seeing what you had become
Smooth as the nine realms - loki laufeyson x reader
summary; the midguardian lifestyle is strange, but there is an aspect of it that loki is definitely not accustomed to, and he’s conflicted about whether he likes it or not
Wednesday 5th May;
The sheriff and the Murderer part six - lee Bodecker x reader
Summary; lee revels in the affects of his mistake, guilty with the knowledge that he once, in his younger years, would have never treated you in such a way. He has broken that trust, and he is urgent to get it back, though, he has yet to make amends.
Murdoc - peter Parker x Murdoc!reader
summary; dating spiderman and being the niece of daredevil gives you many secrets to keep, even from both the important men in your life. it was inevitable that they would finally meet.
Stunning youth - Sebastian Stan x younger!reader
summary; Sebastian begins to feel insecure about the age difference between the two of you, he finds your youth beautiful, though somewhat a reminder of the gap between the pair of you
Thursday 6th May;
Destroy me - destroyer!chris x reader
summary; Chris has to save your ass from exposing that you’re a mole. And in return, you offer him your ass
Honey honey - loki laufeyson x asguardian!reader
summary; “he banished me, to midguard, all because he wanted to be the king of our realm”
Friday 7th May;
Draw the line - singledad!sebastian stan x teacher!reader
summary; sebastian is a hard worker, but one day, he breaks one of the promises he made to himself concerning his daughter; he was not to be late, and that’s exactly what he was
Objection, your honour - judge!chris evans x da!reader
summary; competing against someone that you majored alongside in college has you willing to do anything to win your case, and the judge seems to not mind the lengths that you are willing to go to
The weekend will be having requests released, among possibly any thing else that springs to mind.
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starklore · 6 days ago
i know this is random but i dont know anyone else i can rationally discourse this with dbdjjsjs but anyway. Is it just me or this end to bucky's arc in tfatws feel kinda unsatisfying? I agree with the bits about relying in yourself for validation and not others (ie not steve) but. idk. Im not sure if the solution would be to go around telling ppl youre the reason their family members are dead lol. It feels kinda selfish to open someone's old, deep wounds that way for one's own satisfaction (the scene with the older man who lost his son kinda rubbed me the wrong way as if "i killed your son against my will lol bye") . Of course if im wrong feel free to correct me. What are your thoughts?
I kind of agree and kind of don't! I think what they were going for with Yuri is less "Bucky needs to get this off his chest" and more "Yuri deserves closure and to know how his son died." You can certainly argue whether that itself is helping Yuri, given that Bucky had already earned his trust by then--like, is closure worth the knowledge of that betrayal? Idk, I'm just saying I think that's what they were aiming for.
I think my big grievance with Bucky's arc is this it seemed to like...obscure the fact that Bucky was literally brainwashed and none of what the WS did was his fault. Like if Bucky wants to make amends because he thinks it'll give him peace then he should do that, but he's not, like, morally obligated to? The writers seemed to treat him as a former villain seeking redemption, which, while a trope I ADORE, does not actually apply to Bucky.
I guess in more realistic depictions of brainwashing there's more gray area. Free will isn't a binary. But with Bucky like he literally had NO free will. It's more akin to being, like, demonically possessed. And the way the writers talk about him confirms my suspicion that they don't actually see him as brainwashed, which is just such a fundamental misunderstanding of his character...
Idk I liked the show overall but that element had me going ????
Tldr I guess my issue is not so much the end of Bucky's arc as it is the basic premise upon which that arc is built.
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findsilver · 6 days ago
okay this is not beef. but do you have any idea how gross what you just said is? bucky made his choice to make amends. nobody is making him do it. it's his own choice, his own agency, his own guilt, and his own recovery. he's making his own choice to atone for the crimes he's committed as the winter soldier and that is valid. stop erasing bucky's trauma. and to imply that the families of the winter soldier's victims don't need closure or won't get it, if bucky tells them?? are you kidding me right now??
I'm sorry for coming out offensive, it wasn't my intention, though I can see this is how it sounded. I really am sorry. I should have worded my post better. My problem isn't with Bucky trying to make amends, not with him feeling guilt which is understandable and unimaginable, and I'm not saying that the victims don't need closure or won't get it. I don't know if I would personally feel any closure if I knew and the person who did it was walking around, but that's not the point either. My point is that the person who's responsible for the show said Bucky will always have to be responsible for the things he did as the Winter Soldier, implying that he had any say in it. He will probably always feel responsibility and guilt, but honestly as someone who's gone through guilt and trauma in therapy, and had things held over my head that I did as a child... Well, I just don't think it's a good approach to have towards trauma.
Either way, I'm sorry for my words.
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dukereviewstv · 6 days ago
Duke Reviews TV: The Falcon And The Winter Solider 1x01 New World Order
Hello, I'm Andrew Leduc And Welcome To Duke Reviews TV, Well, Falcon And The Winter Solider Just Ended A Couple Days Ago, So What The Hell, Let's Review Season 1...
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Now For People Who Don't Follow My Regular Duke Reviews Movies Tumblr, I Have Done Reviews Of Every MCU Movie That Has Been Released Up Until Far From Home So Reviewing The MCU TV Series, Seems Like The Next Logical Step, But Unlike This Series, I Will Not Be Reviewing Wandavision
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Why? Because I Feel That Unlike The Falcon And The Winter Solider, It Got Lost In The Tone It Was Going For...
Sure At Times, It Felt Like An MCU Movie By Introducing New Characters And Bringing Back Old Characters That I Wanted To See Again That Were In Other MCU And Other Marvel Movies...
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But When It Switched Into Parody Mode In Westview, It Became Confusing To Me From The Winks At Classic TV Show, Character Tropes, The Commercials, Theme Songs And Even...
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Now, Falcon And The Winter Solider Felt Like It Belonged In The MCU, Despite Mixed Reponses From Various People. Hell, The Last Episode Has A Rotten Rating From Rotten Tomatoes For Some Stupid Reason...
But Is The Series As Bad As Wandavision? Let's Find Out As We Watch Episode 1 Of The Falcon And The Winter Solider, New World Order...
Spoiler Warning From Here On Out!
The Episode Opens With Sam Wilson (Played Again By Anthony Mackie) Getting Dressed Up Before Holding Steve's Shield As Dialogue From Avengers: Endgame Plays In The Background...
But Before We Get To This Point We Rewind A Couple Hours To An Air Force Airplane Where Sam Is On Assignment To Save A Military Liaison Named Vasant From An Old Enemy Of Steve's From Captain America: The Winter Solider, Bartoc The Leaper And It's Up To Falcon (With Help From An Intel Officer Named Torres) To Save Vasant Before Bartoc's Plane Crosses Into Libyan Airspace...
I Guess When Doc Brown Makes A Bomb Out Of Used Pinball Machine Parts For You, It Ruins US Relations...
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Still, Falcon Saves Savant Before Batroc's Helicopter Crosses Into Libyan Airspace And He Takes Torres Out For Lunch While He Fixes His Tech...
But While There Torres Tells Sam About A New Group On The Rise Called The Flag Smashers Who Believe The World Was Better During The Blip, Basically A World Without Boarders...
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Still, Sam Tells Torres To Keep An Eye On Them And To Let Him Know If It Gets Serious, But Before Sam Leaves Torres Asks Sam If Some Of The Conspiracy Theories About Steve Are True Including One Theory That Steve Is At A Secret Base On The Moon...
Yeah, Sure, Steve Is On The Moon With Ernie From Sesame Street...
With Sam Denying The Theories, He Leaves For Washington To Take Care Of "Moon Stuff" Which Leads Us Back To Now Where Sam Is Donating Steve's Shield To The Captain America Exhibit At The Smithsonian With Rhodey (Played Again By Don Cheadle) In Attendance...
Afterward, Rhodey Asks Sam Why He Donated The Shield Instead Of Taking Up The Mantle Himself? To Which He Tells Rhodey About What He Said To Steve At The Endgame And He Still Believes That, That It Belongs To Steve And Not Him...
This Leads Rhodey To Remind Sam That The World Is Broken Right Now, With Allies Being Enemies (Possible Hint At Wanda?) And Alliances Broken, The World Needs Someone To Look Up To Before Leaving...
After Having A Flashback Nightmare About His Time As The Winter Solider The Night Before, Bucky (Played By Sebastian Stan) Attends His Court Mandated Therapy Sessions, Done By Peggy Hitler From Everybody Loves Raymond (Of All People)...
I Can't Wait To See Her Beat Bucky Up For Selling Cookies In Her Spot...
Ok, Enough Everybody Loves Raymond Jokes, Anyway, Despite Having A Nightmare, Bucky's Been Trying To Make Amends For His Hydra Past As He Tells The Therapist About A Senator Who He Helped Get Elected Into Office And Continues To Abuse Her Power To This Day...
Delivering Information To Her Secretary, He Places Gadgetry Which Gives Him Full Control Of Her Car (Despite Rule #1 Being Not To Do Anything Illegal) He Confronts Her And Her Partner? Before She And Her Partner Are Arrested By Police...
But Despite Making Amends, The Therapist Tells Bucky He Needs To Open Up And Nurture His Friendships More Despite Bucky Just Wanting To Live His Life In Peace...
But Despite The Therapist Believing Bucky Is Alone, He Actually Has A Somewhat Friend In An Old Man Named Yori, Who Bucky Has Been Trying To Make Amends With As Bucky Killed His Son Years Ago As The Winter Solider...
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Meanwhile, Sam Visits His Sister And Her Kids In Louisiana Who Are Having Money Difficulties And Have No Choice But To Sell The Boat That Her And Sam Grew Up On With Their Parents...
But Despite Getting His Sister To Hold Off On The Sale So They Can Get A Loan From The Bank, It Backfires When It Turns Out Superheroes Don't Make Any Money When They Save The World...
So, The Loan Is Denied...
Halfway Across The World, Torres Goes Undercover, Visiting A Location Of A Possible Flags Smasher Attack And It Turns Out, There's A Person Handing Out Flags Smasher Masks Just As A Building Explodes..
Confronting One Of The Flags Smashers, Torres Basically Gets His Ass Handed To Him By A Flags Smasher That Is Very Strong...
With Torres Telling Sam About The Incident Over Zoom? As He's Getting Healed By Medics, Sam's Sister Interrupts To Show Sam A Meeting On The News Which Shows That The Person He Gave Steve's Shield To Has Been Working With The Department Of Defense And The President In Finding A New Captain America Which Leads To The Introduction Of John Walker (Played By Wyatt "Son Of Ego" Russell) Before The Episode Ends...
And That Is New World Order And It's An Interesting Start...
The Story Was Interesting, The Characters Were Well Written, The Action Scenes Were Cool And It Made Me Look Forward To Every Episode...
As For John Walker, I Didn't Hate Him..
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Hear Me Out...
I Knew Eventually He Would Become U.S Agent So I Decided To Give The Character A Chance To Develop Unlike Everyone Else Who Either Cried Sacrilege Or Made Fun Of Him To The Point That Wyatt Russell Got So Much Hate For It That It Ticked Me Off...
Even Though Some Of It Was Funny (Especially Andre The Black Nerd Who Called Him "Party City Captain America") But Still I Feel It's Very Rude To Send Death Threats Or Even Just Threats To A Person In A Franchise As There's More To Life Than Movies, Tv And Comics
In Fact, I Think Linkara Said It Best...
Seriously, Guys! It's People Like This That Made Jake Lloyd A Criminal!
Anyway, It's A Good Episode And I Say See It...
Till Next Time, This Is Duke, Signing Off...
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girlbookwrm · 6 days ago
Hiya! (diff anon btw)Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us about TFTWS/CATWS! I was pretty much nodding my head continously while reading your answer haha xD What did you think of Bucky's arc, though, specifically, if you don't mind me asking? As well as Sebastian Stan's portrayal of him? Thx again! Wish you a wonderful day! ^_^
I love that they lured us in with Seb Stan’s big sad eyes and then had his arc so seamlessly hand off to/interweave with Sam’s? It may sound cynical, but I mean it genuinely. As a white American, I am deeply programmed to empathize with the Tragic White Boy, and there has never been a more empathy-inducing tragic white boy than Bucky Barnes. They’ve taken all the major elements of the golden boy and the Byronic hero and combined them with key components of the damsel in distress/femme fatale. He’s basically a weapons-grade empathy production facility.
and then they give him this emotional arc from episode 2 to episode 5 that starts when he says “if he was wrong about you then maybe he was wrong about me.” Now, I know at least one (white American) fan who was like “why was sam to mean to bucky?” in that scene. The writers don’t explain what’s going on explicitly to the audience, because it should be pretty obvious. Bucky took a conversation about a difficult choice Sam was facing and made that conversation All About Bucky. We know exactly where Bucky is coming from here, but Bucky clearly has no real idea where Sam is coming from. Bucky figures out exactly what he did wrong, mostly off-screen, while Sam is still grappling on-screen with that very same choice, because Sam is the main character, and it’s his story. Eventually, Bucky comes back and apologizes, all on his own. It’s probably the first really successful amends-making he does on screen, so it’s crucial to his character arc. “Steve and I never thought about what it would be like for a black man to carry the shield.” Neither has a pretty large chunk of the audience, in all probability! That’s what the whole show is about! and because the (white American) audience is so deeply programmed to feel empathy for Bucky, this was a moment that probably made the whole series click for a lot of people. If I’m honest, that, combined with the moment when Sam says “you weren’t amending, you were avenging” was when the whole show clicked into place, for me. I am wildly aware that this maybe says some pretty not great things about me, but I’m American too and I’m just not immune to the white supremacy inherent in the system I was raised in. 
So, TLDR, this whole throughline is something that I admire on a character level because it’s such a good arc for Bucky to have. It’s also something I can admire as a writer because I think it’s a super-effective way to hammer home a message that the audience isn’t primed to hear. And I also think that it has done a little bit to make me personally a better, more empathetic human being. Like, what more can you ask from a storyline?
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onlypcwer · 7 days ago
still gotta make a full post of all my canon divergencies, but here are the big ones:
lemar & karli aren’t dead
bucky’s amends list is not court mandated, rather something he chose to do for himself
sam isn’t working for the military after endgame, he goes back to the VA
the shield is not given up voluntarily
i think i wanna keep gaslight-gatekeep-girlboss sharon tbh but i just gotta rewrite how tf she got there
oh also i default to steve being dead ig (and not old steve bc all my homies hate old steve)
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st4rlabsforever · 7 days ago
I don’t really understand the ao3 algorithm sometimes, but these are a few sambucky fics I've read recently that I feel deserve lots of love and maybe got a little bit overlooked. will never understand how sometimes you’ll post something that sits on the front page for a full day, and other times it gets yeeted into oblivion immediately.
Learn to Stop Worrying and Love the Drone by rhombus (rating: teen)
Bucky regretted a lot of things in his too-long lifetime, but right now, at the very top of the list, with a very bold bullet point, was keeping that damn drone in the specs for Sam's new suit. Now the little pest wouldn't leave him alone.
But, he still had one last set of amends to make, after all.
Notes: The Bucky & Redwing fic you don’t even know you need until you read it. Seriously, so good.
I’m On A Boat (Explicit Version) by thebodydies (rating: explicit)
All that's past is prologue to Bucky getting his mouth on Sam's dick.
Notes: Sam and Bucky going on a fishing trip, and more. Honestly, this is one of the most well-written fics I’ve read in a while. The dialogue is spot-on as is Bucky’s inner monologue.
i wanna savour, save if for later by caramelle (rating: unrated)
"It's his damn ratings, man," Sam says. "It's weird 'cause when you read the reviews, he seems to like our food and all. Nothing but praise for days. And then you get to the rating, and it's always the same. Three goddamn stars."
Bucky tips his beer bottle from side to side, lips pursing slightly. "I see. And that's… a bad thing?"
"We are not a three-star joint," Sam says flatly.
Or, the one where food truck owner Sam gets caught up in his quest to unmask an anonymous food blogger. Falling for one of his regulars was never on the menu.
Notes: This was a fun and refreshing AU.
my house of stone, your ivy grows by tophsgf (rating: teen)
When Sam Wilson inherits the manor of the old man he once took care of, it feels like his luck is finally looking up. It's an opportunity for a fresh start, something he's in desperate need of. When he arrives, however, it becomes clear that an easy transition into estate living is not exactly a possibility. The house is run-down, nothing like Sam remembers it, and the groundskeeper — who Sam apparently has to share the house with, wants nothing to do with him.
Notes: Another really well-done AU.
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