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foreverindreamlandd · 2 years

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Awake My Soul • 3

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

WC: 3.8k

Summary: It’s been 5 years since zombies first began their invasion, and despite everything you’ve been through, you’ve managed to survive up until this point. Now it’s time to face your most dangerous challenge yet….the grumpy, untrusting, fiercely protective Bucky Barnes.

Chapter Warnings: Mentions of torture (in way more detail), scars, infection, blood, death. We get a better look into Readers past and hoooo boy. Time to meet some more of the squad! (Bucky still very angy)

Series Masterlist / Series Playlist

Brookfield Boarding School for Girls.

You kept your gaze on the tattered concrete sign that stood at the entrance of the grounds, trying to ignore the many, many eyes that tracked you as you followed Sarah down the brick path.

Once the sign was out of view, you diverted your attention to the other landmarks that made up camp. There were three large brick buildings structured in a triangle formation, the center one standing front and center.

To your left was a massive garden, a woman with strawberry blond hair and a young brunette gathering various food items. Well, they were collecting them, but once they saw you they stopped and joined the other sets of eyes in following your movements.

You turned away, focusing on the right side that had housed a group of pine trees. There were strange markings on each stump, positioned in a way that they almost looked intentional.

They looked like carvings of different letters…

“We kept the trees as an extra form of cover,” Sarah remarked, noticing your questioning gaze. “It’s also our way to remember those we’ve lost. Didn’t do that at our last camp because it was too depressing, but when we got here we realized that no matter what happens to us next, their memory lives on when they can’t.”

Your eyes burned as you turned your head away from the already covered pines, looking up at the solar paneling on the roofs.

“Do those things still work?” you asked, pointing up at them.

Sarah nodded. “We took them off of a farm a few miles away and Bruce was able to reconfigure them. We don’t have internet or anything but we can make the place warm during the winter without lighting a fire and exposing our location along with some other things.”

Bucky stormed toward the left building just as the entrance door opened, nearly knocking over the middle-aged man wearing a green sweater, his dark hair peppered with greys and glasses resting on his face. Once he recovered from the near collision, he looked over and gave you a small smile as the two of you approached.

“Ah, your friend made it,” the man said. “And Buck seems grumpy as always, so I’m glad everyone is okay.”

Sarah nodded. “Have a little bit of an issue that needs mending. Y/n, this is Bruce Banner. Bruce, this is Y/n, the one who found the boys.”

He bobbed his head to greet you, noticing the way you held your wounded arm. “Nice to meet you, Y/n. Let’s get you checked out, okay?”

You offered a closed lip smile and he turned, leading you inside and down a hallway until you reached a science classroom. A young teenage boy was tinkering around with a long black metal object.

“Peter,” Bruce said and the boy stood up, eyes wide as he quickly covered up his project with a sheet as he finally noticed your arrival.

“Oh! Sorry Bruce, didn’t see ya there.” He smiled as he met your eye, extending a hand out. “Hello! I’m Peter, nice to meet you.”

You smiled, though it looked more like a grimace as you looked between him and his hand.

“Sorry bud, she’s got a bum arm. No handshakes just yet.”

Sarah’s words caused him to focus on your body language and his jaw dropped, quickly pulling his hand back. “Shit, I’m sorry! I didn’t realize-”

“Why don’t you two go get things settled while I work on the arm,” Bruce interrupted, gesturing for you to sit on a stool by one of the long tables. “Sarah, we’ll meet up with you once she’s taken care of.”

Sarah rested a hand on Peter’s shoulder and escorted him out, giving you a reassuring nod as she left your side.

“You should find Bucky, Peter,” Sarah said as they walked out. “He got a gash to the side that needs patching.”

Peter nodded, quickly turning back to grab a nearby med kit before catching up with her.

Bruce went to one of the cabinets, pulling out a few medical supplies.

You sat on the stool, feet swaying in the air. “So, Bruce, I hear you’re the one who knows how to build super cool shit.”

One corner of his mouth curved up and he breathed out a small laugh. “I’m glad someone thinks it’s cool.” He gestured to one of the chairs. “And I hear you’re the one that everyone is extremely curious about.”

You grimaced, at both the pain in your shoulder and the dread of having to get grilled by a bunch of people you didn’t know, especially now that any semblance of trust you had earned with Bucky had been completely eviscerated.

Not that you could blame him after what happened.

“Boss misses ya-”

A shiver ran up your spine as the ghost of your attacker’s breath hit your neck.

So much for thinking you were safe. That could never happen.

And now your only chance at safety was compromised.

Bruce saw the panic flash in your eyes. “You okay?”

You gave him a weak smile. “Just nervous, I guess.”

He nodded, hands taking hold of your wrist and applying a small amount of pressure along your wounded arm. “You’ll be fine. I promise we’re harmless. Some are just a little more nervous after…..”

“After someone you thought you could trust betrayed you all and ruined your lives?” you finished.

He didn’t say anything for a moment, just gave you a yes, exactly look and continued examining your arm. You flinched when he started lifting the sleeve of your shirt, instinctively pulling away.

His brows furrowed. “Everything okay?”

You bit your bottom lip, taking a deep breath before relaxing back into his hold and nodding.

Bruce stared at you a moment longer before going back to the sleeve. He only got a couple inches up before you heard the sharp intake of breath and you winced.

“Holy shit,” he said on the exhale.

Your eyes stayed glued to the ground, tears welling in them as he looked at numerous scars that were already visible.

“Who the hell did this?”

You bit the inside of your cheek. Instead of sounding accusatory, Bruce’s voice was filled with nothing but concern, sympathy.

Pity.

“I- it was, I’m not…I don’t-” you stammered and he shook his head.

“Sorry, we don’t have to talk about it.” He inspected the visible marks and lifted the sleeve up a bit, revealing more of your hideously scarred body. “Some of these haven’t healed all the way, Y/n. They look old, but infection is starting to set in. Have you been feeling off lately? Dizzy, nauseated, more tired than usual?”

You shrugged. “I mean, maybe, but when you haven’t had a decent night’s sleep in five years nor a nutritious meal,” or been tortured for two years, “You kind of always feel that way.”

His lips pressed into a thin line and he nodded. “I’m probably going to have to wrap this arm to help with the broken shoulder. Will you let me tend to some of these?”

A pause, and then you slowly nodded. It was all he needed to get to work. Once he was able to work out that the scars ran all the way up your arm and with your permission, Bruce grabbed a pair of scissors and cut the sleeve from the wrist all the way up to the collar. He moved with gentle precision, disinfecting the gashes and bandaging them. Once that was done, he examined the shoulder, and said that luckily it seemed that it should be able to heal normally without requiring any type of surgery so all he would need to do was wrap it up into a brace.

He worked mostly in silence until he was almost done creating a sling when he murmured, “Your other arm, is it the same?”

The silence he was met with was answer enough, and he pulled out the scissors once more to make the same cut on the other sleeve which revealed an almost mirror image of the scars he just worked on.

A figure in your periphery made you look to the door, and you bit back a gasp as you saw Bucky standing there.

His eyes were glued to your mutilated arm.

In the short time you had known Bucky, you quickly determined that he was a hard person to read. He kept his emotions guarded, features stoic, only allowing anger to show through.

But sometimes, you would notice these flashes of…something. A crack in his armor that you would allow you to see that there was so much more than anger and rage inside him. You just didn’t know what that was. In those moments, you wished that you could break open a whole and peek through that wall he had built, and see what he was thinking, what he was feeling.

When you saw the crack this time, you had no interest in knowing what horrible thoughts he must have had racing through his mind as he saw how broken you truly were.

Even though he still hadn’t even seen the half of it. Some scars that could never be seen.

Bucky only had that look of something on his face for less than a second when you saw the rage return, the armor intact once more.

“Are there any other scars?” Bruce asked, pulling your attention back to him as he bandaged the final gash. “Legs, back, or stomach?”

Yes- “No,” you said curtly, turning back to the door.

No one was there.

Bruce nodded. “Okay, well, I’d like to keep an eye on those if possible. And I should take some blood to check-”

“No.” You fully pulled away from him this time, hissing in pain at the rogue movement of your right shoulder.

He held his hands out, eyes wide with concern. “Woah, calm down! I just want to make sure the infection hasn’t totally affected your bloodstream-”

You shook your head vehemently, body beginning to shake. “No, you can’t. Please,” you begged.

His gaze turned skeptical, wondering why you were so against him taking samples of your blood and you knew you needed to get your shit together.

Deep breath in, deep breath out.

Once the shaking settled a bit, you responded. “I…I can’t have more needles in me, Bruce. Not now. Please.”

It was enough, and you watched his shoulders sag as he understood what you were saying. You were tired of being poked and prodded.

Which was technically true..

“Alright,” he said finally. “That just means we’ll just have to monitor them over time. If the redness doesn’t go away within the next week you let me know, okay?”

You nodded. “Thanks, doc,” you responded meekly.

He huffed at the nickname, gathering his supplies. “We should get going. I’m sure everyone is already waiting for us.” His eyes shifted to your sliced sleeves. “Do you want me to get you a new shirt? I feel bad forcing you to change after just adjusting the sling but if you need help I can grab someone-”

“It’s fine,” you said, shaking your head. “You can just cut the sleeves off. I’m sure Bucky is already telling the group how messed up I am.”

Bruce sighed, working on cutting the sleeves. “I promise he’s not all bad. He wasn’t always-”

“Like this,” you cut off. “I know, Sarah told me. I get it.” You used your free hand to pick at some loose frays on your pants. “It’s hard enough to trust anyone these days, and I’m definitely not making it any easier on him.”

“Just give it time. He’ll come around.” He reached out a hand to help you stand up. “Baby steps, okay?”

You groaned, following him out of the room.

“Baby steps, he says,” you mutter. “Going into a room full of strangers where they’re going to determine whether I’m a threat or not during a zombie apocalypse.”

Bruce snorted. “Well, when you put it that way….”

The two of you walked into the center building, your heart beating faster and faster with each step.

“What’s the setup for this place?” you asked Bruce, trying to distract yourself. “Like, is there a map to know how to get around?”

He snorted. “We kind of had to go along with what was already here. Where we just were serves as the the science lab and library, and we keep some things stored upstairs. The other building is the dorms, that’s where everyone’s rooms are as well as the kitchen and cafeteria. This….well this one we developed a bit more creative freedom for.”

Before you could ask, you passed a room filled with guns, knives, bows, hatchets, any type of weapon possible.

An arsenal.

“Right through here,” Bruce said, pointing up the stairs, but he didn’t need to provide any more directions. You knew where to go based on the yelling ahead.

“I’m telling you, we can’t trust her! She wasn’t even in camp and she already almost compromised it!”

You walked into a large office-looking room where six people stood in a circle, which included Sarah and the two men who helped you during the attack, Sam and Clint.

The rest of the group looked at you as Bucky kept going, still unaware. “We either have to lock her up and never let her leave or drop her off somewhere far away that she can’t be a bother to us ever-”

He finally picked up on their discomfort and turned, mouth falling open when his blue eyes met yours as if instinctively gearing up to apologize.

But then it snapped shut and his jaw clenched, gaze hardening.

Bruce lifted a hand in greeting, smiling awkwardly. “We’re here…”

Sam stepped forward.

“Y/n,” he said and you nodded. “As you probably picked up during our less than ideal introduction, I’m Sam.” He pointed to the people along the line. “My sister, Sarah.” Sarah gave you a closed-mouth smile. “That’s Clint, his wife Laura, and that’s Pepper.”

The blond woman you saw before in the garden pressed her lips together and offered a tiny smile.

You mimicked her expression as your eyes swept across the room. “Hello.”

“How is your arm?” Laura asked.

“Hurts less like a bitch than before thanks to Bruce,” you said.

“Should be fully recovered in four to six weeks,” he added.

Sam nodded. “Where you from?”

“Boston,” you replied.

His eyebrows rose. “You’re quite a bit away from home.”

A shrug from your good shoulder. “Didn’t want to deal with shitty winters while fighting for my life-”

“Can we please stop fucking around with the bullshit smalltalk?” Bucky asked, pinching the bridge of his nose. “We need to know who the hell she is and why the fuck someone followed her all the way to camp.”

“Calm down, Buck,” Sam said sternly, then turned his attention back to you. “I hate to admit it, but he’s right, Y/n. Sarah told you about the shit we recently went through because we trusted the wrong person.” Bucky looked to the ground, fist clenched. “We gotta make sure you’re not putting the people we care about in danger.”

That was when Sam looked at your arms, and the scars and bandages that covered your skin..

Danger won’t seem to leave me alone.

You could lie to them, tell them that you didn’t know who that guy was. That there wouldn’t be more people looking for you. You could stay and be protected and maybe have a family again-

“He’s right,” you said, catching Bucky’s eyes as they flashed toward you. “I am a danger, as much as I hate to admit that.”

Sam’s chest rose as he took a deep breath. “Alright then. Talk to us.”

You closed your eyes, willing yourself to tell them the truth.

When you opened them, you stared into Bucky’s stormy blue irises, and began to speak.

“My parents and I were on our own the first two years. We moved from spot to spot, not making camp anywhere in order to avoid walkers, and honestly some humans. Eventually, we ran into a group who called themselves The Eternals.” Bucky rolled his eyes and you snorted. “I know, pompous right?”

The right corner of his lips definitely didn’t twitch. That was definitely just in your head.

You continued. “They were nice, though, and willing to help. We traveled with them for about a year, their leader Ajak guiding us to some unknown destination. They taught us how to fight, how to defend ourselves against the dead and the living.”

“Months went by, and suddenly we sort of stopped running into other people. It was weird, like we had walked into some wasteland. Then, John Walker showed up.” You paused as rage poured through you, working to regain your composure. Bruce lightly nudged your good arm with his elbow. You turned to him with a closed lip smile then returned your focus to the group.

“John staggered into our temporary camp, appearing bloody and haggard, telling us that we were in danger and needed to leave. That he needed help. Some of us were cautious, not knowing if we could trust him. Things were moving so quickly, we didn’t have a chance to really read him. Ajak and Sersi said we couldn’t just leave him here to die. And that he might be able to lead us to safety. What he actually did was lead us straight into a lair of Hydra.”

All of the air had been sucked out of the room as the people around you gasped.

Hydra. The group who developed the virus to create an army of undead, starting the apocalypse all those years ago, their greed and hunger for power outweighing anything and everything else.

“It was a total ambush,” you said, fighting the lump in your throat as the scene played within your mind. “We tried to fight, but there were so many of them, with weapons we’d never seen before. Walkers on leashes that they were controlling. The fight was over in minutes.” A tear fell down your cheeks. “My parents were killed, along with everyone else, save for Druig, Sersi, and Thea. We were taken in for ‘testing.’ That’s where I’ve been for the past two years. As you can tell,” you extended your left arm out to show off the visible scars, “They had their fun.”

“What kind of testing?” Bucky asked, his tone less accusatory.

Distant screams buzzed in your ear, your own included in the horrific symphony.

“Trying out different weapons, drugs. Mixing our blood with whatever serum they were playing around with. That’s how they created Runners. And I’m sure there are other horrible things coming our way thanks to those sickos.”

“How did you get out?” Sarah asked.

Because you needed to, not for your sake, but the sake of whatever was left of humankind.

“There was an uprising,” you responded instead. “Someone managed to free a horde of undead within Hydra’s living quarters, causing enough distraction. Many of us were still killed, but a few escaped. We scattered, every person for themself to create more tracks for them to follow.”

“And why are they dead set on getting you back?” Bucky asked.

You clenched your jaw, eyes on the floor. “I don’t know.”

It was annoying how good he was at reading through your- “Bullshit,” he snarled.

“I don’t know,” you snapped back, looking up to glare at him with such ferocity that his eye twitched.

“Bucky…” Pepper interjected. When he looked over at her, she shook her head and you watched his shoulder sag.

“I get that I’m a risk,” you said, looking at Sam. “They might come back for me, I really don’t know. If you want me to leave, I get it. You’ve all been through enough, and built something new here to try to move on. I’m a liability for that.”

Bucky opened his mouth to say something but Sam spoke first.

“No,” was all he said, and both you and Bucky gave him the same confused expression. “All Hydra has done these past five years is break people apart, because they know that makes us weak. We need to stick together.”

“She also knows about their tech,” Clint added softly. “Maybe her and Bruce could work together to try and recreate some of the crazy shit they have.”

You looked to Bruce and his eyes seemed to light up ever so slightly, like he was excited to have a new project to work on.

“It’s up to you, Y/n,” Sam continued, slowly walking up to you. “If you go, we’ll let you go with the trust that you won’t share our location. But if you need help, you can still come and find us.” You bit your bottom lip to keep it from trembling at the kind notion. “If you stay, you’ll be expected to act as a member of camp. You’ll be one of us, put in an equal amount of work as the others. Obviously we’ll slowly ease into that as you heal, but we’ll need you to help with supply runs, camp upkeep, and taking watch shifts.”

Your eyes flickered to Bucky, feeling his piercing gaze. Instead of holding your stare as he usually had, he immediately looked to the ground, shifting uncomfortably as if there was a war waging inside him. Like he no longer knew if he wanted to fight to kick you out or beg you to stay.

Sam’s voice brought your attention back to him as he continued, “It’s a lot of work, but you’ll be part of our pack. Forever. We will be there for you when you need us, just as we’ll expect you to be there for us.”

You looked across the room once more, searching for validation that you were wanted by these people, and were met with either gentle nods or small smiles.

When you focused back on Bucky, he seemed to feel your gaze and looked up to meet your eyes once more.

There was no nod, nor smile from him. In fact, there almost seemed to be no expression on his face.

Almost.

But you caught the way his eyes softened, the rage gone from those crystalline irises, replaced with what appeared to be more like a resigned annoyance. When he pressed his lips together in a thin line, you knew that was the best answer you were going to get from the grumpy man.

Sam spoke again. “So, Y/n. What’ll it be?”

Bucky’s eyebrows jumped up for a split second, as if now challenging you. To silently ask if staying would be worth dealing with all of the shit you knew he was going to continue giving you.

Oh, it’s on.

When you turned back to Sam, you smiled.

Chapter 4

#bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky imagine #bucky angst #zombie au #zombie apocolypse au #awake my soul #ams

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sarahsmi13s · 1 year

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Lieutenant Rogers - pt 1

Call Sign ‘Star’

(not my gifs)

pairings: romantic!neil ‘omaha’ vikander x rogers!reader, platonic!dagger squad x rogers!reader, plantonic!sam wilson x rogers!reader, platonic!bucky barnes x rogers!reader

characters: y/n rogers, neil vikander, the entire dagger squad (admirals and captain included), penny benjamin, sam wilson, bucky barnes, james rhodes (this chapter only), john walker, lemar hoskins, misc. characters from both universes

warnings: language, blood, fighting, sexual inuendoes, john walker, cannon dangers, cannon deaths, suggestive themes, if i miss any please let me know

word count: ~3.2k

a/n: if you couldn’t already tell, i’m OBSESSED with crossovers. reader is the daughter of steve rogers, and has the super soldier serum as well

sources: Top Gun: Maverick (2022) , The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (2021)

summary: 13 pilots were called back to Top Gun in 2023. at the same time, Lieutenant Rogers learns that her father’s shield was passed down to John Walker.

reader’s call sign: ‘star’

pt 2 pt 3 pt 4 pt 5 pt 6

**************

You stared at Sam from your spot leaning on your bar. “Say something.” “Why? Why do you want to give me the shield?” “Because you're his child, Y/N. It should belong to you.” You shook your head, “No, Sam, he gave it to you. It’s yours.” “Yes, which is why I am now giving it to you. If it’s mine I can do what I want with it.”

You rubbed your face, “Sam, I can’t take up the mantle. Dad wanted you to take it over, and I agree with him.” “Why can’t you take it?” “Because I'm on active duty, and the Navy is where I belong.” Sam hung his head.

“I can’t fill his shoes. This shield- it means something to so many people. Me included. But Steve gave it that meaning. I’m gonna let him down.” You sighed and pulled Sam out of his chair. “Sam, I won’t begin to understand why you feel that way. You could never let him down.” You hugged him, “He trusted you with it. And I do too. I know you’ll only do what you think is best.”

He hugged you back, sighing as he looked at the photo on your mantle in your house and the folded flag in its protective box. Sam wrapped his arms a little tighter around you before letting go.

“I’ll let you get back to getting ready. Have a good night Y/N.” He walked past you to the door. “Sam, wait!”

He stopped with his hand on the handle, “You sure you don’t want to stay? I’m sure Neil wouldn’t mind you staying for dinner.” He shook his head, “I’ve got plans tonight, but maybe some other time.” You nodded, “Okay. Call me if you need anything. Love ya Sam!” “Love you too kid!”

*************

When Sam told you that his plan was to turn the shield over to the museum for the Captain America exhibit, you weren’t happy. But you realized that this was what Sam thought was best, what he thought was right. You trusted Sam, so you supported him.

He asked you to be there at the ceremony, for support and reassurance. So, that’s what you did, with permission from your superiors of course.

Wearing your dress blues, you stood right next to Rhodey. “Lieutenant Rogers.” “Colonel Rhodes.” He sighed, “I’m not gonna lie, I’m surprised to see you here.” “Is that because I’m on active duty, or because of a more personal thing, sir?” He chuckled, “Bit of both.” You sighed, “I’m here to support Sam. I know he needs it from me. He sure as hell isn’t getting it from Bucky.”

“Has he even talked to Bucky since the funeral?” You shook your head, “I don’t think so.” “Have you?” “I’ve tried. I’m not sure he wants to talk to me.” Rhodey just nodded.

Sam stepped up to the podium, “Steve represented the best in all of us. Courageous, righteous, hopeful. And he mastered posing stoically.” The crowd chuckled. “The world has been forever changed. A few months ago, billions of people reappeared after five years away, sending the world into turmoil.”

Sam paused and tears burned the backs of your eyes. “We need new heroes. Ones suited for the times we’re in.” He looked at you and you gave him a reassuring smile.

“Symbols… are nothing without the men and women that give them meaning,” he nodded down to the shield. “And this thing,” he chuckled fondly and picked it up. “I don’t know if there’s ever been a greater symbol. But it’s more about the man who propped it up, and he’s gone.”

You exhaled shakily and looked down, your standard bun not allowing your hair to cover your face.

Sam looked at you before continuing, “So, today we honor Steve’s legacy. But also, we look to the future.” You looked up and made eye contact with Sam, him giving you a small smile; almost as if to say, You’re his legacy and you are the future.

He looked at the banner behind him. “So, thank you, Captain America. But this belongs to you…” You walked up to be beside Sam as they placed the shield in its display case. Cameras flashing everywhere. You both clinched your jaws.

To him, this was to honor Steve. But to you, this was like you were truly putting him to rest, and you really didn’t know how to feel.

Afterwards you, Rhodey, and Sam were talking with some government official (that’s literally what the IMDb says). “Thanks again for comin’ forward with the shield, Sam. It was the right decision.” They shook hands and he walked away, nodding to you as he left.

Your phone rang, “I’m sorry, I need to take this.” Both nodded and watched you walk away. “This is Lieutenant Rogers.” Out of the corner of your eye you saw Rhodey and Sam walk away.

“Star, I know you’re taking care of something personal, but I need you back on base as soon as possible.” You nodded, “Yes, sir. It should take me about four hours to get back.” “That’s alright, just get here.” “Yes sir.” You hung up and went to find Sam and Rhodey.

You walked into the exhibit, running into Rhodey making his way out. He noticed the rush you were in. “You get orders?” “Yeah. I need to be back on base as soon as possible.” He nodded, “He’s back there.” You followed his hand, seeing Sam by the shield display. “Thank you.”

You moved past Rhodey. “Hey, Star?” You straightened and turned around. “Whatever it is, give ‘em hell alright?” You nodded, “Of course, sir.” You saluted each other before you moved to Sam.

When you came up beside him, he spoke first.

“Thank you for being here, Y/N. I know this wasn’t what you were expecting me to do,” Sam said with his head hung between his shoulders. “I don’t think anyone was expecting it honestly.” He looked back up, looking at you before moving his eyes to the exhibit.

You sighed, swallowing the lump in your throat, “I’m needed back on base. I’ve gotta go.” Sam nodded and looked down at you, “You better get going, it’s a four hour drive.” You nodded as well and hugged Sam.

“Call me if you need anything,” he said once he pulled away, patting your shoulder. “Always do. Tell Sarah and the kids ‘hi’ for me okay?” “Of course.”

When you got back to base, you changed before meeting with your commanding officer, seeing Omaha and his WSO, Halo, there as well.

Once you were allowed in you stood at attention in front of his desk. “Sir, may I ask why you needed me back so urgently?” “You’ve all been called back to TOPGUN.” You looked down at him in surprise before looking at the two next to you. “Sir?” “I wasn’t informed of why, but you along with 10 others were called back. You’re due to report in two weeks to North Island.” You nodded, “Yes sir.”

Since you had moved to North Island after graduating TOPGUN five years ago, you and your boyfriend were allowed to move in early, to get a feel for the island again.

*******

A few days into your stay at the North Island you were watching TV while Omaha had gone to get groceries.

You had finished your beer and were getting up to get a new one, when a news broadcast took over the rerun you were watching.

“Unrest, in the wake of recent events, has left us vulnerable. Everyday Americans feel it. While we love heroes who put their lives on the line to defend Earth, we also need a hero to defend this country. We need a real person who embodies America’s greatest values. We need someone to inspire us again, someone who can be a symbol for all of us.” The man said.

You recognized him as the guy who was talking to Sam after his speech.

“So, on behalf of the Department of Defense and our Commander-in-Chief, it is with great honor that we announce here today that the United States of America has a new hero. Join me in welcoming your new Captain America!”

Your throat dried up as some guy walked out, carrying your father’s shield like it was a damn trophy. Your heart ripped in half. You could already tell this guy was bad news and when he winked at the camera, you nearly threw up.

Tears filled your eyes as you stared at the screen, even though it no longer portrayed the imposter.

You gasped when the bottle shattered in your hand, not even registering how hard you were holding it.

Robotically, you moved to the bathroom, cradling your hand to keep blood off the floor. Then moved routinely as you grabbed what you needed from the drawers and cabinets.

*********

When Neil came home he didn’t expect to see a shattered bottle followed by little droplets of blood on the living room floor and your phone ringing.

But he didn’t panic, instead he set the grocery bags down and went to your phone, seeing “Bird Boy” displayed as the caller ID. He just let it ring as he followed the little droplets to the closed bathroom door.

He looked down at your phone before knocking and saw Sam had called you a lot.

“Baby?” He knocked softly. “Y/N, are you okay? What happened?” When he was met with silence he tried the handle, finding it unlocked. “I’m coming in.” Omaha pushed the door open slowly.

You were sitting on the closed toilet seat with a cut up hand and your other hand slightly shaking with tweezers in it as a small pool of blood was gathering at your feet.

He squatted in front of you, “Doll? You with me?” He wasn’t sure what was going on, maybe you got hit with a bad flashback. But your nod told him it was something else.

He slowly took the tweezers from you, “Wanna tell me what happened?” You inhaled and clenched your jaw as he wiggled a bigger piece of glass out of your hand. “You don’t have to hide it from me…”

As you exhaled, a small sob escaped your throat, “They gave it to someone, Neil. They fucking replaced him, with some Wal-Mart looking asshole.” Omaha clenched his own jaw and exhaled, “I guess that’s why Sam has been trying to get ahold of you.” You nodded, wincing a little as he pulled out some more shards before disinfecting the cuts.

Your phone rang again, but he moved it out of your reach, “After we patch you up. Talk to me about how you feel.” You swallowed, “I want to go UA just to kick this guy’s ass, but I have to focus on this mission, whatever it is. I need to carry on the legacy of Captain America, shield or no shield.”

Omaha smiled and pressed a kiss to your now bandaged hand. “Plus, it’s not like the government cares what I have to say on the matter anyway,” you dryly chuckled, flexing your hand.

He pulled you off the toilet and into a hug, “That’s my girl.” You hummed and kissed his chest, where his dog tags were. “No, but seriously the guy looked like Carl from Up, I swear.” Omaha threw his head back and laughed, “Okay, come on now. How does steak sound?” “With your mom’s corn?” He kissed your nose, “Whatever you want, Star-light.” You giggled and kissed his lips.

Your phone ringing again made you pull away. “I should probably answer him before he flies up here.” Neil nodded, “I’ll get started.” He left to the kitchen and you took your phone to the back porch.

You answered the phone, “Sa-” “Did you see the news?” You sighed, “Yeah, I sure did Sam.” “God, I swear had I known they were gonna do that I would have never-” “Sam, Sam, I know. I know,” you cut him off. “Had I known they were gonna give it to someone I wouldn’t have let you. But Sam, I need you to be honest with me...” “Of course.” “I can’t be involved with this, not until this mission is over. Will you make sure this asshole doesn’t ruin my father’s image? Ruin his legacy?” “You have my word.” You nodded, “Good, good. I’ve gotta go, talk to you later.”

********** *1 Week Later*

Checking to make sure you had everything, you threw on your dad’s aviators and threw your hair into a ponytail. Getting the keys, you got on your bike and sped to the Hard Deck to meet your fellow pilots and boyfriend.

Walking in while sliding your sunglasses on your head, everyone right by the door turned and smiled at you, greeting you as you walked by. And of course you said ‘hello’ back but made minimal conversation as you went to the bar. You didn’t make a big deal out of your presence just yet and just looked around.

“Y/N Rogers, to what do I owe the pleasure?” You turned and smiled at Penny, “Hi Penny.” “Are you here for the same reason they’re here?” You nodded, “Yes ma’am.” She nodded, gesturing over her shoulder with her thumb, “Want the usual?” “Yes, please.” She nodded and went to get you an Angry Orchard.

Sure, the serum allowed you to hold your alcohol, you just preferred the cider.

When she came back she smiled, “Hey, don’t worry about this one. It’s on him. I’ll start yours on the next one.” You followed the direction she had nodded her head in, seeing a dark headed guy in a green jacket. You tilted your bottle in thanks and he gave a nod and small smile back.

You turned to the group of pilots at the pool table and decided to make your way over.

You walk over to see Hangman walk away and hear the conversation between Phoenix and Rooster. “Well, he hasn’t changed.” “Nope.” You just smirked and took a seat on the barstool by the pool table, nobody noticing you.

“Check it out,” Fanboy said as he walked over to Phoenix. “More patches.” You glanced around the pillar, seeing the group of 5 khaki clad aviators. Payback did a roll call, “That’s Harvard, Yale, Omaha… Shit, that’s Fritz.” You looked back over at the group in front of you. “What the hell kinda mission is this?” Fanboy asked.

You stood up, boots hitting the hardwood floor, “That’s not the question we should be asking.”

Everyone turned at the sound of your voice. You smirked a little and gestured to the group with the butt end of your bottle, “Everyone here is the best there is. Who the hell are they gonna get to teach us?”

“Star, that you?” You turned your head, seeing Bob, your best friend. “Robert Floyd, damn it’s good to see you.” You hugged him. “How’s Lemoore?” He shrugged giving you a small smile, “It was good when I left it. How are you holdin’ up?” Bob lowered his voice when he said that last part. You returned his previous smile, “Better than I thought I would be..”

“Well would you look at that? Thought the room looked a little brighter,” Hangman rested his arms on your shoulders and his chin on your head.

“Who’s ass you kiss to be here?” You gave Bob a smile before elbowing the Texan in the ribs. “No, Bagman it’s kick, not kiss, and I do believe you’re on the list.” He painfully chuckled, groaning as he stood up, “Still as pointy as every, Star.” You nodded, “Best believe it.” You winked before waving to Bob and going over to your boyfriend.

“Hey, Doll,” Omaha said when you walked up to him. “Hey, Baby.” He kissed the top of your head and threw his arm around you.

As you talked with Halo and Omaha, the music cut out and everyone groaned. But soon, piano notes floated into the air, their distinct sound floating over everyone’s voices.

Phoenix was the first to notice that it was Rooster at the piano and got everyone’s attention. “Hey, guys, come on.” You smiled and grabbed Neil’s hand to pull him with you.

Rooster was warming up his fingers when the bell rang. You turned and caught the same dark haired guy from before hanging his head, then everyone began chanting ‘overboard’.

Omaha winced, “Poor guy.” You chuckled and saw that Hangman, Payback, and Coyote were going over to throw him overboard.

Once he was thrown out, Rooster finally started the song.

You sang along, Neil spinning you around and laughing. “Imma tell the world that you’re mine, mine, mine!” You practically yelled in each other’s faces, but laughed before pulling each other into a kiss. You looked down and noticed that he didn’t have a drink. “Here, watch my drink, I’ll go get you one.” “You don’t have to,” he pulled you closer. “Yeah, but the bar isn’t occupied right now, it’ll only be a second.” He nodded, “Alright.”

You walked up and found Penny looking out the window. “You alright, Pen?” She blinked and nodded as she looked away from the door to you. “Uh, yeah, yeah I’m fine.”

You looked to where she was looking and saw once again the dark haired man, this time instead of smiling he looked like he wanted to puke. “Who’s that?” “Captain Pete Mitchell, or Maverick.”

Your eyes widened, “Wait, really?” Penny nodded. You looked at Pete and followed his eyes to Bradley at the piano, and you could put the pieces together. You saw your father with the same look every time he heard a song from his childhood and was reminded of Bucky.

You glanced back to see Omaha dancing with Fritz and you moved to go talk to Mav but he left before you could make it to the door. You sighed and turned back to Penny, who already had the bottle held out to you. “Thanks Pen.”

By the time you made it back over to your boyfriend, Rooster had finished the song and everyone was chanting his name.

**********

After it cooled down, you all regrouped at the pool table. “Star, I didn’t even see you come in! Holy shit, how have you been?” Rooster hugged you, rubbing your back. “Could be worse, all things considered. But how about you?” “Not too bad, not too bad at all.” You smiled and rubbed his shoulder.

He took a sip of his own drink before his brows shot up and he quickly swallowed it. “How are you and Omaha?” You smiled, a blush spreading across your face, “We’re good. We’re really good.” Bradley smiled and patted you on the back before going over to play Phoenix and Bob in a game of pool.

“Hey, Star-light,” Omaha said, and you could just hear the smile in his voice. “Hi, Baby.” “You wanna play a round of pool? Loser has to do whatever the winner says?” You hummed and raised an eyebrow, “You sure you wanna make that bet, Honey?” He hummed back, leaning down into your ear, “Win or lose, I feel it’ll be worth it.” Neil playfully nipped under your ear. “You’re on.”

*************

NEW SERIES ALERT!!!!

I hope you all enjoy this first part in my new cross over series

We’re in for a ride

How do you think the first day at training will go?

tags <3: @milesdickpic @luckyladycreator2 @hotch-meeeeeuppppp

<3 love ya babes

#omaha x reader #neil omaha vikander #rogers!reader #neil vikander x rogers!reader #lieutenant rogers #top gun maverick #marvel #marvel/top gun maverick #crossovers #dagger squad x reader #call sign: star #falcon and winter solider series #tfatws #john walker #captain america #steve rogers

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sebastianstansqueen · 1 year

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Where Do We Go from Here 10

A/N: And back down hill we go, either send an ask or comment on this or click on Taglist open.

Wordcount: 1,256

Warnings: unjust arrest, bucky being well bucky, angst, think that is all actually

Masterlist // Series Masterlist // Taglist open// Spotify Playlist

Tags: @cherryblossomsky - - @babylooneytoonz - @wonderlandfandomkingdom - @miraclesoflove - @amelia-song-pond - @leyannrae - @avengerlex - @pineprincess - @nik2writes - @dorothea-hwldr - @rosie-posie08- @scxrletrecsmarvel - @elizacusi-blog - @valhalla-kristin - @chloe-skywalker-@foulpersonahandsvoid-@eclecticpatrolroadlawyer

A few weeks later after everything was thought to have settled, you’d got back to work at your law firm, then there was a knock at the door, Bucky answered with an arched brow two police men under Loki’s payroll came into the home, you knew this because you saw them around Loki’s house a few times, you shook your head at Bucky as to warn him. “Mr. Barnes you are under arrest for the murder of Loki Lafyson, and the kidnaping of his wife.” One spoke.

“Why the fuck didn’t you come weeks ago after it happend?” He asked.

“B-Because, we didn’t find proof until now, your fingerprints were on the knife buried in his chest.” The other told him, then the same turned to you. “We're here to take you home, miss.”

You scoffed. “Not going to happen, I’ve been remarried.”

“Nice joke Mis, It’s only been like three weeks.” The other Scoffed.

“Yeah and I need protection, so I married Mr. Barnes.” You told him. “So I am not going to come with you.” That was all truth full a week ago you and Bucky had gone and signed papers at the courthouse, along with now planning an actual wedding.

“Come on Barnes.” The man had cuffs and started to take him to the station.

“I’ll be back later, doll.” He said to you.

Bucky was taken down and out the squad was 50/50 on his and Loki’s payroll, but the chief the chief was someone else's, he was on Y/n’s, in just a few weeks she was running her family, because every one form Henry’s family, moved down to Y/n and she controlled them. “Mr. Barnes I’m afraid your moving up to Rikers Island until triel for the murder of Loki Lafyson.” The cop told him.

“What are you doing with Mr. Barnes?” The captain asked. What Loki never mentioned to his part of the department was that the other half was under the man they were arresting nor that Henry practically owned the station. Thaddeus Ross and Henry Y/l/n were practically brothers.

“Chief Ross um he’s been arrested for, murder.” The cop stumbled.

The Chief’s lips pierced. “Let me deal with this.”

He led him to his office. “where are they wanting to have you go?” Ross asked.

“Rikers.” Bucky said coolly.

“Look I can promise you to get out, but you're going to have to go there.” Ross huffed.

Bucky nodded. “Yeah well I’ve done my time I don’t care they think Rikers is gonna scare me I’ve been there before don’t act like you don’t know, now Y/n is at home waiting for me to come back, let me tell her what’s gonna happen.”

“Okay you’ve got Twenty Four hours, the clock is ticking.” He sighed.

Bucky walked out of the department, Loki’s men watched with shock, one of his guy’s took him back to his house. Once back he walked in, and found Y/n. “Hey doll I made a promise didn’t I.”

“That was quick.” She said.

Bucky nodded. “Ross is under your payroll he’s why I was out so fast, now listen, sweet heart, I’m going to be gone for I don’t know how long but I’ll come back to you.” He explained what had happened at the station. “After tomorrow Steve is going to take over, and Don’t come and visit me while I’m there Y/n.”

Her brows furrowed. “What w-why?”

“I just don’t want you to see me when I am in there, you’ll be safe, and then when I get out I’ll be the same as I am today.” He squeezed her hand softly.

“Have you been arrested before?” She asked him, because the way he was talking was making her suspicious.

He nodded. “I have a while back, when I was twenty three, I did something stupid, right after I became boss, got caught sent to Rikers and I was out a Three Years after because of my dad and Chief Ross, thanks to your dad. We have twenty four hours until I gotta go.”

“Bucky I don’t know what I'm gonna do if it takes three years, to get you back I lived two in hell without you, and then you're going to have to go, because I killed Loki.” She said gently.

“Y/n, it was either you or me who was going to kill him, and I’m glad they planted it on me because you-no offence-wouldn’t last in Rikers, but I built a rep there and no one is going to fuck with me, I am going to get out, and come back to you here, safe.” He smiled. She leans for ward and kissed him, the man and woman in there fucked up life and situations found love and comfort in eachother. “That seemed like a kiss from a movie where the hero dies.”

Y/n rolled her eyes. “You are my husband, can't I kiss you as much as I want when tomorrow will be the last time I see you possibly in years?”

“I’ll take more if that’s the case.” He said with a warm smile.

As promised twenty four hours later, Chief Ross was there ready to take Bucky to Rikers, Bucky hugged you kissing you goodbye, once the Chief put the cuffs on him Ross nodded to you in respect, you recognized him from family parties when you were little and didn’t know he was the Chief back then, Steve came up behind you. “We gotta talk.” He told you.

Both of you sat in the living room, across from one another. “What do we need to talk about Steve?”

“Bucky wants you to be his lawyer, when the trial comes up.” Steve told you honestly.

You looked him up and down. “I can't do that, Steve it’ll look bad for him, me and everyone involved, there's also conflict of interest, he’s my husband that’s not something I’ll do, I can however get someone from my law firm to defend him.”

“He’ll not be happy but we need to get him out of there, he wanted you to represent him because if you didn’t he knew you’d have to go on stand and testify, which since that is the case I’ll help you with that.” He explained.

You nodded. “I’m fine with that, as long as we can just figure out a way to get him out.”

The ride to Rikers was long and irritating to Bucky, he gets that it’s supposed to usually seal people's doom but he knew what to expect when he got there. He was taken out of the car strip, searched , and then washed off by cold water, then he had an orange jumpsuit thrown at him. He pulled it on and was brought to a cell by the cops, the guy in there stood up acting all tough the cops watched both men. “Who the fuck are you, pretty boy.” The much taller man Shreked up to Bucky.

“You wanna play this game.” Bucky asked, shaking his head.

The taller bulky man scoffed. “Yeah.”

Bucky nodded and the man charged to attack him Bucky slammed the man's head against the bars repeatedly. “Do I look like a fucking pretty boy huh! Huh!” The man tried speaking but Bucky didn’t let him. “Yeah, that's what I thought fucking pussy shit.” He dropped him to the floor of the cell.

The cops that stood doing nothing. “Welcome home Barnes.” One of them spat.

#bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #bucky x reader angst #mob au bucky x reader #mob! bucky x reader #mob bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader mob au #mob bucky x reader #mafia!bucky #mafia romance #mafia!bucky x reader #mafia bucky x reader #mafia sebastian stan x reader

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imaginedreamwrite · 11 months

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Okay, I've got one more for you. Silver!fox Ari, former navy seal, now head of congressman Buckys security detail. See's Andy assistant reader bestie who owns the bakery across the street from Andy's office. Either at Andy's office or seeing her through the window of her shop dancing around putting pastries in her cases.

I would love them all to be connected in one way or another so..for Ari, I love your idea of him being ex-military now working in protective detail

Ari & Jake are ex-military in the same squad but Jake focused on engineering after the military and Ari went into protective detail where he met and works for Bucky. Ari, nearly, every day had to get a certain brand of coffee and breakfast croissant for Congressman Barnes and had dragged Jake along with him

Jake met his single mom!Reader, that he met at the party, at the bakery where she works with the owner

The owner is tactfully always missing when Ari comes by because he’s so huge and so intimidating that she can’t really face him. While she can’t really face him because she’s intimidated and attracted, Ari enjoys this little game of back and forth and looks forward to it almost every day

Bucky’s girl is Andy’s assistant, Andy’s girl owns the women’s shelter, Jake’s single mom girlfriend used to be in the shelter but now works at the bakery, the bakery is owned by Ari’s girl—all the girls are interconnected

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luna-rainbow · 1 year

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#bucky barnes #bucky barnes meta #bucky barnes protection squad

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ao3feed-irondadspiderson · 7 months

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Peter Parker's collection of Vigilantes SuperHeroes and Anti-Heroes

https://archiveofourown.org/works/50288803 by Phoenfatale Peter Parker is way too young to be out fighting crime at night. He should be playing video games or freaking out over cute girls (or guys). But he's far too good to hang up the suit. It's a good thing he's endeared himself to pretty much every Hero, Vigilante, and Anti-Hero he comes across so they can keep an eye on him. Or Peter Parker Protection Squad Words: 1820, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies) Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Categories: M/M Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark, Matt Murdock, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), James "Bucky" Barnes, James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Clint Barton, Various MCU Characters, Fantastic Four Team Members (Marvel) Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Natasha Romanov, Peter Parker/Johnny Storm Additional Tags: Peter Parker is a Mess, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Avengers, Protective Tony Stark, Vigilantism, Everyone Loves Peter Parker, Hurt Peter Parker, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Domestic Fluff, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Avengers Family, Domestic Avengers read it on AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/50288803

#IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic #iron dad and spider son #spider son #iron dad #peter parker #tony stark

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random-writerings · 10 months

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Introducing My Queer OCs

Happy Pride Month! I wanted to do something special for Pride but I've been so caught up in assignments, essays and exams that I completely forgot to prepare anything. So instead, here's a little introduction to (some of) my queer OCs. 🏳️‍🌈

Connie Winter - Bisexual

Love interest: Bucky Barnes

Growing up in the 1920s/1930s meant that Connie never really questioned her sexuality. She knew she was attracted to men and that was all that mattered. Besides, every woman thinks other women are hot too, right? And everyone has at least a little crush on Peggy so it's not weird that she does too, right? It's not until she wakes up in 2012 and starts catching up on important social issues that she finally has the language to identify herself.

More about Connie here

Halley Castor - Pansexual

Love interest: Poe Dameron

Halley has always been quite open-minded and has had a number of relationships with aliens from different species. So of course, when it comes to humans, gender doesn't really matter to her.

More about Halley here

Imara Dhawan - Lesbian

Love interest: Natasha 'Phoenix' Trace

Imara knew she liked girls from a young age. When she was a teenager, she realised she had absolutely no interest in boys and she was worried about how her family would react. Her sisters were very accepting but it took her parents a while to come to terms with her sexuality. Even after they did, she still had to keep it a secret from her extended family who live in India. She’s quite a private person anyway so she doesn't really mind. She is also not out to anyone in the Navy. The first person she comes out to is Nikki, who assures her that the Dagger Squad are good people and they won't care. She still doesn't feel the need to properly come out. Instead, the Squad figure it out by themselves after she and Phoenix start dating.

More about Imara here

Kris Fletcher - Bisexual

Love interest: Deke Shaw

Out of all my fics with queer OCs, I would say Kris’ is the one where sexuality is discussed the most. It's an important part of who she is and, being a historian, she is very interested in queer history. Like Joey, she knows what it's like to feel othered even before she becomes an Inhuman. Her previous relationships also play a significant role in how her character develops and so are discussed often. In the year between S5 and S6, she really bonds with Piper as they often make jokes about being queer. Her sexuality is also important in S7 as the bigotry associated with different time periods rears its ugly head. This is especially relevant in 07x07 (the 80s episode) as it takes place at the same time as the AIDS crisis.

More about Kris here

Kore - Demisexual

Love interest: Druig

Kore has never been romantically interested in anyone; she is put on Earth with the other Eternals to do a job and that's it. Her focus is entirely on protecting humanity. That is until she forms a deep friendship with Druig which slowly turns into something more.

More about Kore here

Maia Callis - Demisexual

Love interest: Obi-Wan Kenobi

Maia is only 18 when the fic starts and, being so young, she doesn't feel ready for a serious romantic relationship. She previously had a ‘relationship’ with a childhood friend, Atlas, on Alura, but it wasn't really anything serious. She's too busy trying to figure out what she wants to do with her life to be bothered with romance. Then, once she joins the Jedi Order, she believes that romance is completely off the table for her. She is fine with this at first, dedicating her time to studying the Jedi way and teaching Anakin and Suria. It's only when the Clone Wars begin that she realises her feelings for Obi-Wan are not simply platonic.

More about Maia here

Mari Park - Bisexual

Love interests: Dick Grayson and Donna Troy

Mari’s relationship history is complicated. She dated Dick when they were teenagers and training to be Batman’s sidekicks together. They broke up shortly after starting college, then Mari and Donna started dating. But Mari broke up with Donna after she realised Donna still had feelings for Garth. After the Titans disband, Dick and Mari start dating again, only to break up around the time of Tony Zucco’s death. Dick leaves for Detroit without saying goodbye and Mari does vigilante work on her own for a while. Until she sees Robin on the news and goes to Detroit to investigate.

More about Mari here

Dividers by @theprideful from this post

#my ocs #lgbtq ocs #queer ocs #queerocs #pride month #oc: connie winter #oc: halley castor #oc: imara dhawan #oc: kris fletcher #oc: kore #oc: maia callis #oc: mari park

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pedrito-friskito · 2 years

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the way we were / the way we are - chapter 8 - these days are numbered

summary: time is a cruel mistress. she can ruin your life in the blink of an eye.

warnings: trauma (if you’ve seen the movie you know what’s coming)

a/n: this chapter I still remember writing. it made me cry. so there’s that.

(series masterlist) (main masterlist) (ao3)

January 1945

Time seems to pass in the blink of an eye. You’re aware of it, watching the war unfold before you, but it still doesn’t seem real, you still can’t believe where you are.

You write home often, give Jane and your parents what few details you can, assuring them you’re safe and alive, that Bucky is safe and alive, but that you still don’t know when you’ll be home again. You write to Becca and the rest of the Barnes clan too, keep them updated as best you can. There’s not a lot to share, but reassuring them that you’re both alive seems enough, for now.

You help Howard with Steve’s uniform, creating a more protective version of what he wore onstage, adding the carbon polymer Howard loves so much and a utility belt. As for the shield, Steve likes the design you’d drawn, and suggests some colour. Howard teaches you a bit about metalwork, and the finished product, complete with the perfect star in the centre, is an instant hit.

And the work doesn’t stop there. Howard has you working on new designs for the Howling Commandos – you’re not too keen on the name of Captain America’s top squad, but you keep that opinion to yourself mostly because Bucky gets a kick out of it – and you’re grateful to be of use. Steve appreciates your input and ideas, and Bucky can’t seem to get over how creative you are. “I was already in love with you,” he jokes, hovering over your shoulder one day while you work on a design for a new scope specifically for him. Your husband, the sharpshooter. “But this just takes it to another level.”

Steve’s shield had left some scraps of vibranium, and Howard wasn’t quite sure what to use it for, so he left it up to you. When the weather started to turn and Bucky returned from missions with frozen cheeks and a runny nose, you set to work designing a new jacket for him, using the metalwork skills Howard had taught you to create a series of thin vibranium plates to protect him from bullets and the like, and an extra layer of fleece to keep him warm.

Howard is immediately obsessed with the design, but the lack of vibranium puts him at a standstill. Most days in the lab, you hear him muttering to his assistants about potential deposits, or writing letters to geologists the world over about similar metals and where to find them.

You’re more than grateful to Howard. The work keeps you distracted and busy, especially when Steve and Bucky disappear for days or weeks at a time on missions that you mostly understand. Steve lets you in on the meetings, wants your input on plans and routes and best courses of action. It’s nice to be needed, and even nicer to feel useful.

It takes some time, but Peggy seems to forgive him for whatever it was that he did. He refuses to give you the whole story, and won’t even give Bucky all the details, but you notice the way Steve always seems to find something to preoccupy himself with when a certain blonde private makes her way into whatever room he’s in. Peggy had brushed off your questions with a hushed, “Captain Rogers is free to do whatever he chooses,” but you can tell she’s already forgiven him.

When they aren’t away on missions, your time is spent with Steve and Bucky, frequenting the bars and pubs around the bunker, letting them fill you in on what happened during their time away. The nights are spent in your room in the bunker, wrapped up in Bucky’s arms, each night leaving you more breathless than the last.

The steely glint in his eyes never truly goes away. It’s not always there, but you catch it in flashes, moments where his gaze moves somewhere else, his expression changing. It’s months after your initial reunion that he finally opens up, lets you in on what happened to him. The truth, he tells you, is that he has no idea, all he knows is that they injected him with…something, something that tried to take away pieces of him, but he fought back. And they found ways to hurt him.

“It was your face in my mind,” he tells you, “that kept me…me. I made you a promise, and I knew I couldn’t break it. I had to come home to you. I had to see you one last time.”

He mumbles in his sleep sometimes, bits and pieces that you can’t quite catch. That is, not until you catch him in some kind of trance after a mission debriefing, his eyes pure steel and his hands shaking.

“My name is Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes. 32557038. I live in New York. I’m married to Y/N Barnes. We have been married since March 9th, 1943.”

The other Commandos pay it little mind, but you can see Steve’s eyes following you as you cross the room to where Bucky stands, his arms braced against the wall of the bunker, knuckles vibrating against the brick.

“My name is Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes. 3255-”

He stops when you lay a hand on his back, flinching and he whirls around. There are tears in his eyes, but when he realizes that it’s you, he nearly crumples to the floor, throwing his arms around you. He whispers your name over and over and over again, and you drape your arms around his neck, rubbing soothing circles across the top of his back.

“You’re okay,” you whisper. “You’re here. You’re safe. You’re okay. You’re home.”

He nods against your collar. “I’m home.”

After that, things seem to settle, for the most part. There’s still that strange glint in his eyes, but usually all it takes is a gentle touch from you to bring him back to himself, a hand on his arm or your lips on his cheek.

The Commandos are a success, running HYDRA factories and labs into the ground faster than Schmidt can have them rebuilt. Everything seems to be going according to plan.

Until it’s not.

It’s a normal day. As normal as one could expect during a world war, anyway. You finish up in the lab with Howard, departing with a smile and heading out of the bunker to join Bucky and Steve at the pub across the way. It’s a short trip, one you’ve made many times by now, both on your own and on Bucky’s arm, or Steve’s or Howard’s.

But this time is different. You can feel it the moment your shoes touch the sidewalk. You’re about to turn around, head back into the bunker, back to safety, when there’s a hard grip on your shoulder, a wet cloth pressed to you mouth.

The world goes black, and your mind goes with it.

Bucky’s watching the clock.

You’re usually done work with Stark by five o’clock, earlier towards the end of the week, and you’d told him before you’d left the room that morning that you’d meet him and Steve at the pub once you finished. There was some project Stark had you working on that made your eyes light up like the fourth of July, and Bucky couldn’t bear to pull you away from it before you were ready. It was a miracle he’d gotten you to sleep the night before; you’d talked and talked and talked, giving him every detail. He’d quieted you with his lips, and you’d gone pliant in his hands.

God, he loved you. Loves you. Doesn’t think he could ever stop loving you.

What had you said to each other, that night when you’d first walked back to the bunker together, after he’d seen you again for the first time, after so long apart?

Till death do us part?

I don’t think even death could take you from me.

The clock hits a quarter past five, and he’s twitching in his seat. The pub they’re in is less than a five minute walk from the bunker. His leg starts to jump, foot tapping against the ground impatiently.

“You okay, Buck?” Steve asks, following his sight line to the clock.

“She should be here by now,” he replies, jaw clenching. “Something’s wrong.”

“I’m sure she’s fine,” Steve says, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Probably just got caught up talking with Stark.”

But then Howard walks into the bar, glances over at the table he’s sharing with Steve, and his brow furrows. Bucky’s on his feet as Howard approaches the table, same confused expression on his face the whole way. “Y/N not here yet?” he asks, and Steve shakes his head. “She left before I did, figured she’d beat me here.”

Bucky’s off like a shot, sprinting from the bar and heading back towards the bunker as fast as his feet can carry him. Steve is hot at his heels, calling his name as he runs down the road. “Bucky, wait!”

He skids to a stop in front of the doors that lead to the bunker, looking around, every sense on high alert. Something is wrong.

That’s when he sees it, tucked away in the shadows, discarded like it had been kicked to the side. It glints back at him, shining in the dim light.

Your engagement ring.

He snatches it up off the pavement, and Steve is at his side, looking at what’s he’s found. “She-”

“She’s gone,” Bucky says simply, and stalks in the bunker, fury already pooling in his gut.

It doesn’t take long to figure out where you’ve been taken, and who’s taken you. Zola is not subtle in his actions, and the encoded messages between him and Schmidt are easily intercepted. He plans to take you back to Germany, and hand you over to Schmidt, who then plans to torture you for information before returning you to Zola for experimentation.

“They’re using her as bait,” he tells Steve. “To get me back. I saw the look on Zola’s face the night we escaped. He was shocked to see me alive. He wants his experiment back.”

“You’re not an experiment, Buck.”

“I am to him.” He swallows hard, feeling bile rise in the back of his throat. “But I don’t care. I don’t care what it takes, we have to get her back. We find her, and I put a bullet in Zola’s skull.”

It takes some coordination, and help from Agent Carter, but they find the location of the train Zola plans to transport you on. It’s like he’s walking around with blinders on; his only focus is finding you, bringing you home safe. Your engagement ring burns a hole in his pocket, and every so often, he pulls it out and just holds it in his palm. This is not happening. This is not happening. This is not happening.

This is a nightmare, he starts to think, as he’s following Steve up a snow-capped mountain, the railroad a dark snake through the white below. This is a nightmare, and he’s going to wake up any moment, find himself healthy and whole, back in Brooklyn with you, sprawled out on the mattress in the back room of Barnes & Noble.

The wind whips at his face, and he knows it’s all too real. The coat you designed keeps him warm, fuels the rage that hasn’t ebbed since he discovered you were gone.

They’d sent men ahead to set up a zip line that would allow them to drop easily onto the moving train, and looking at the drop makes his stomach fall into his feet. He’s never been a fan of heights; when you’d rode the ferris wheel on your first date, he was too preoccupied with the beautiful girl who’d agreed to go out with him.

And he doesn’t care now, despite the twist in his gut. You’re on that train. He has to get to you. Everything else is collateral.

You’ve never hated a man as ardently as you hate Armin Zola.

They’d kept you drugged, for the most part, only bringing you to the cusp of consciousness to force food and water down your throat. Zola had overseen the whole process, and when you did wake, he told stories.

He told you what he did to Bucky.

He detailed the torture, the screaming, how they’d broken his collarbone and watched it heal. How they’d pumped him full of all kinds of drugs, waited to see if he’d lose his mind, and the words he’d repeated to keep himself sane. That was how they had figured out who you were, and someone from deep inside the SSR had let slip your name to the wrong person.

“He was never meant to escape, you see,” Zola said, his Swiss accent thick as he paced the room they held you in. “When your dear friend Captain Rogers became the…man he is today, Schmidt tasked me with a recreation. Your husband was the first one to survive my serum, so you can imagine how important it is that he is returned to me.”

You’d tried to scream at him, tried to yell and thrash and spit in his face, but a needle slipped into the crook of your arm and the dark returned.

When you come to again, you’re bound and gagged, tucked behind a crate on a train car. They’d changed you out of what you’d been wearing the day you were taken, and into a thin hospital gown. Your feet are bare and the metal beneath you is cold and unforgiving. Your teeth chatter around the gag in your mouth.

There are a few guards watching over you, both of them dressed head to toe in black armour. The helmets they wear show no trace of their eyes, but you have that creeping feeling that their gaze is glued to you.

“We have been ordered to watch you,” one of them says, and his voice is robotic, emotionless, and sends a chill down your spine. “Dr. Zola says you are important.”

You inhale sharply. This is not good.

Silently, you prayed Bucky had found your ring.

It had been a long shot, you knew. You’re still not sure where the thought came from, but as soon as you had felt hands on you, as soon as the cloth touched your lips, you fingers had slipped to your ring, and as the darkness overtook you, you’d yanked it from your knuckle, dropping it to the ground as the hands dragged you off.

You’re not religious by any stretch, but sitting there on that train car, you clasp your hands together and pray to whoever is listening.

The trip down the line and onto the back of the train makes his stomach do backflips, but he doesn’t notice. The cold is even worse standing on the back of the moving train, the wind snapping at his face, but he doesn’t care. He has one mission here. You.

They make it inside the train, greeted by two guards that Steve takes down easily, the shield ricocheting off the walls and striking them both unconscious. Into the next car, another two guards, one that he downs with two shots. The other shoots in his direction, and he ducks behind a crate, the bullet bouncing off the metal behind his head. He stays in cover, but lunges around the crate when he hears the guard stop to reload his gun and puts a bullet in the guard’s head.

The body falls to the ground, and then he catches sight of a bare foot sticking out from behind another crate a few feet ahead of him. Steve is crouched there, using the knife from his belt to cut through the ropes binding your wrists. Bucky scrambles forward, nearly tripping over his boots as he rounds the crate.

His eyes land on you, your eyes red with tears and a cloth gag in your mouth. Steve is pulling the rope from your hands, and Bucky’s knees give out immediately, hands reaching for your face and pulling the gag from your mouth.

“Baby.” He gathers you into his arms as soon as you’re free, pulling you against his chest. You’re shivering, and your grip is strong around him, your hands holding onto his jacket tightly.

“Bucky,” you breathe out, your body falling against his, tears fresh down your cheeks.

He holds you at arm’s length, inspecting you as best as he can, and then holds you close again and kisses you. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs against your mouth. “I’m so, so sorry.” Your eyes are bright, you look like you, and he’s glad. They didn’t hurt you the way they hurt him. You were okay.

Your reunion is cut short as the door behind Steve is blasted apart by blue energy, revealing a heavily armed guard on the other side of the door, gun in hand smoking menacingly. Steve scrambles in front of you, lifting the shield as the guard shoots again.

The blast bounces off the vibranium and blows a large hole in the side of the train. Harsh cold wind whips through the car and all three of you are blasted backward. Steve is thrown against the wall, you’re catapulted into one of the crates, and Bucky is sent dangerously close to the hole in the train. The shield clatters to the ground between you. “Fire again!” he hears Zola’s voice from somewhere.

Steve lets out a groan, injured but alive, and Bucky searches for you, reaching for the shield. His eyes finally find you, sprawled beneath the crate. There’s blood on your face, marks on your bare arms, but your eyes blink open and he breathes out in relief.

He hears the whir of the gun charging up again and lurches to his feet, shield brandished in front of him. He lifts his gun, aiming for the guard’s head and-

It all happens in an instant.

The guard fires the gun. The blast hits the shield, sends both it and Bucky flying towards the hole in the train. The shield bounces to the ground at your feet, but Bucky’s body flies out the opening, his hands reaching for the twisted metal. Steve charges to his feet, grabbing his shield and launching it at the guard with a grunt. The guard is thrown back into the next car, and Steve rushes for the side of the opening.

“Bucky!” you hear him yell, his voice panicked.

All you can do is watch as Steve disappears out the side of the train.

You shouldn’t be able to hear it, but you do.

“Hang on!” Steve yells. A pause, a howl of wind. “Grab my hand!”

There’s the awful creak of metal, and then Bucky is screaming.

He’s screaming, he’s screaming and the noise is echoing in your head.

An instant. A single moment in time, and that noise is everything you hoped you would never hear. A noise you would never forget as long as you lived.

The metal creaks again, giving out beneath Steve��s weight, and he throws himself back into the train. There’s…agony in his expression, and his eyes are wet when his gaze meets yours.

“No,” you hear yourself say. Your limbs seem to move at their own accord, yanking you to your free and stumbling across the train, reaching for the edge.

Steve yells your name, and then his arm shoots out for your knees, pulling you back against him and sprawling to the floor. Your hand hangs outstretched towards the open air, trying to get out of Steve’s grip, but he holds you easily.

“No!”

It’s a few days before Steve has a battle plan.

You’d spent a day in the infirmary, at Steve’s insistence, but you were ready to go. You wanted to get ready. You warned to come up with a plan. You wanted to kill Johann Schmidt. Or help Steve do it.

“You’re not strong enough, Y/N,” Steve protested. “You saw what those weapons did to the train. You can’t go and get yourself killed just because-”

“Because what?” you shot back. “Because he’s gone?”

Steve had gone silent, and hadn’t said a word when you slipped into the room as he was discussing his battle plan, replaying orders to the Commandos. Howard and Colonel Phillips stood in the room as well, listening in. Every head had turned in your direction as you’d walked through the door, then they turned back to Steve, but he all he said was, “she stays.”

You didn’t know how to explain it to him. You couldn’t get the words to form properly. You’re not strong enough, he’d said, but you felt strong enough. You felt like you could move mountains with your anger.

You could do it. You were strong enough.

Towards the end of the meeting, one of the Commandos, Jim Morita stood up and asked, “So what are we supposed to do? I mean, it’s not like we can just knock on the front door.”

Steve’s head had snapped up, his gaze meeting yours across the room. “Why not?” he’d said. “That’s exactly what we’re gonna do.”

Despite your persistent demands to join, Steve still refuses to bring you along. “Let me do this,” he says to you. The look in his eyes breaks your heart, and you nod, but you’re quick enough that no one notices you slip out the door.

You know Steve’s plan, and so, after he allows himself to be captured by Schmidt’s men, no one pays you any mind as you slip into the base, too preoccupied with the super soldier they’ve managed to capture. Phillips, Peggy, and more soldiers than you can count enter the base behind you. No one sees you slip into the hangar where the Valkyrie sits, holding bombs the size of fighter planes.

You were on the Valkyrie before Schmidt even boarded, and had hidden yourself well. He’d blown right past you and turned on the engine.

You heard Steve break onto the ship, heard the shouts of men, bodies falling against metal. You watched in terror as one of the pilots jumped into the missile’s cockpit and dropped it from the Valkyrie. Schmidt fired at the plane, it wound it’s way underneath the larger ship.

Then, from your vantage point, you watched Steve sneak into the cockpit of the plane and battle Johann Schmidt. You had to scramble out of the way more than once, but you were fast enough that neither of the men noticed you.

When the nose of the plane dips to nearly ninety degrees, your head is thrown back against the metal wall behind you hard, and your vision goes black.

You come to a few minutes later, blinking your eyes open, your head pounding. You can hear the whoosh of the air outside the plane, and hear Steve’s voice. “I gotta put her in the water.”

Peggy’s voice crackles through the radio, but you don’t make it out.

“We’ll have the band play somethin’ slow,” you hear him say. “I’d hate to step on you-”

The plane hits the ice with a resounding crash. One of the engines explodes in a blur of flames. The whole thing lurches sideways, cracking down towards the ice water below. You hear the smash of glass, the rush of water, and you open your mouth.

“Steve!”

“Y/N?”

More glass shatters, and the plane shifts again. You’re plunged into the coldest water you’ve ever felt in your life. In a flash, it wraps around you like an icy blanket.

The last thought through your mind is Bucky’s face.

#the way we were / the way we are #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #james bucky barnes #the winter soldier #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes smut #the winter soldier fic #the winter soldier smut #bucky barnes x y/n #my fics

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megiesposts · 2 years

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I’ve been fantasizing about writing a college! Au Marvel x dem College! Reader

Ive been thinking about this au for a while and I’m so ready to make it into a book either on Wattpad or here idk probably here

Warning read next line

Before reading: this post mentioned attempted sa, shirtless men, flirting, playboys, mentions of the following- car accident, drinking, an unrelenting ex boyfriend, people getting beat up, random girl getting beat up, cheerleader Natasha>>>, playboy behavior? Beware before reading- this doesn’t go into too much detail but be careful

Like imagine all the boys being in a frat and due to school rules they’re deciding to move out and rent a house and Steve invites his friend Natasha from the dance team who’s also a cheerleader (most of the boys are on sports teams/have sports scholarships) and she says she’ll only move with them if her two best friends Wanda and Y/n can move with her and they’re all like yeah sure

Wanda majoring in photography and minoring in literature

Y/n majoring in different arts and also minoring in literature which is how Wanda got added to the friend group

Y/n and Natasha being besties since high school started and Wanda being added so quickly

Imagine frat boy! Bucky Barnes who lost his arm in a car accident when he was younger, and he got a metal one who stars as quarterback on the football team

Frat boy! Cocky! Steve Roggers who’s idk a linebacker and has girls lining up to get a chance with him and basically worshipping him

Frat boy! Tony Stark who got in on an intelligence scholarship who’s has a new girl lining his bed every night and majors in robotic science who’s secretly a huge dork

Foreign exchange student! Frat boy! Thor Odinson who’s oblivious to how girls throw themselves at him more than he breathes and is an actual sweetheart who got scouted by the fraternity the moment he stepped on campus and is in the hockey team

Foreign exchange student! Frat boy! Loki Laufeyson who was forced into the frat by his dear brother Thor, who majors in literature which is how you bond and is actually such a playboy and girls drop to their knees at his words and accent

Frat boy! Bruce Banner who’s an angry drunk (💀) and was forced into the fraternity by his best friend tony, actually escapes the house during parties and is a sweet boy who’s gets ignored by girls cause he’s not a tall or outgoing or in their eyes “handsome” (who once beat the sh*t out of Loki while black out drunk) (see what I did there)

Frat boy! Clint Barton who secretly has issues about how everyone bullies him but he has a really sweet college girlfriend Laura! Who always has his back (was also forced into the frat cause of tony)

Frat boy! Pietro Maximoff who is forced into the frat when Wanda moves into the new house with y/n and nat cause he wants to protect her and is an honorary member of the girl squad, is the captain of the cross country track team (heheh), and is besties with Clint LMAO

Frat boy! Sam Wilson who is besties with Bucky and on the football team (idk a lot of football plays sorry besties) who is a simp for any girl and gets made fun of by Bucky because of it

Frat boy! Peter Parker who’s a inexperienced freshman on the baseball team who’s such a dork that tony took under his wing- he goes around the parties making sure all the girls are okay and nobody is getting taken advantage off and is an absolute simp for another freshmen who majors in literature (mj)

BRO I WANNA WRITE ABOUT THEM ALL BECOMING FRIENDS WITH y/n AND DEFENDING HER AND ASKING FOR HER HELP WITH HOMEWORK AND ESSAYS AND MAKING THE MOST IDIOTIC EXCUSES THAT MAKE NO SENSE

I imagine a scene where girls try to take advantage of drunk Thor trying to be the one to take his virginity cause look at him and y/n coming to his rescue and literally fighting the girl and locking Thor in her room where he’s safe (this is where their friendship starts)

Y/n helping Bucky with his math, a subject he’s tOtAlLy not failing, where he cracks jokes and doesn’t take it seriously until you stop tutoring him and he’s begging you for help cause he’s goin to get kicked off the team if he doesn’t get his grade up

Steve offering to model for y/n’s sculpting class and taking his shirt off, facing her just trying to get a reaction out of her, and ignoring all the other girls offering him compliments and and throws random questions your way and cracking jokes trying to get you to smile

Tony helping you with a science project and using it as a chance to get close to you and flirt and try and get to know you, (totally takes over your project btw you barely get to do anything, “hand me that.” “Will you get me something to eat?”) (you got an A)

Loki and y/n bonding over authors when he finds you in his class (which he swears you were not in for the last four years) (you totally were) and start working on essays and projects together (who once kicked a girl off his lap when she saw a picture of you hanging in the hallway and started insulting you - he told her to leave the entire party and to watch her mouth (you were not told about this)

Bruce who invites you to come to him to his usual diner when one of the Friday night party’s gets to much cause he knows you have an essay due the next day and the music is taking over your room, helps your write it and stays out until 8am with you while you show each other your favorite spots around the city

Clint who you become great friends with him when he asks you for help picking out an anniversary gift for his girlfriend (you stay friends cause Laura and Clint are>>>>>)

Pietro who became friends with you in freshman year, when you became friends with Wanda, who sees you as another sister, who once beat your high school ex into the ground who showed ran into you in sophomore year at the mall (he was there with you buying a gift for Wanda’s birthday) (you had kicked him away from you temporarily to go get his gift)

Sam Wilson who you became great friends with when he and Bucky had a fight when Sam was supposed to be staying in bucky’s room (sm wrong with his room idk yet) and he stormed into your room rather than Steve’s by accident and didn’t notice while ranting and body slamming himself on your bed (you let him stay and you watched legally blonde together and helped him and Bucky become friends again)

And finally!!! Freshman Peter Parker who fawns over your artwork all the time (it’s more of a brother sister relationship) and stood up to your ex when he showed back up at a party and always asks for your advise on how to ask out his crush mJ and soon asks what he should wear to his dates with mj (it’s literally so cute)

(dw your ex got chased away by Natasha who got Thor and Steve’s attention and told them what he did to you) (your ex had to quite literally run away from them both after Thor threw a punch and broke his nose and he knew he stood no chance) (Steve sprinted after him until he was out of the neighborhood)

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sjsmith56 · 6 months

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The Plan - Part 23, From There to Here - Bucky Barnes One Shots

Summary: After the final battle against Thanos the remaining Avengers are transported to a military base. Steve gives the order that Bucky is to be protected at all times, expecting that the authorities will try to take him into custody. After getting Bucky’s status clarified, Steve takes his friend to see Rebecca, still alive. He also breaks the news that he plans to return to the past but explains why.

Length: 8.8 K

Characters: Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers, Colonel Rhodes, Sam Wilson, King T’Challa, assorted Avengers and military types

Warnings: Steve leaving (reasons obviously not canon, but it’s an interpretation), Bucky feeling abandoned, the military trying (and failing) to take Bucky for their own purposes, sad reunion with Rebecca.

Author’s notes: Told from Bucky’s POV as he tries to make sense of what will happen to him. Like many other fans, Steve’s leaving felt unnatural and unsatisfying to me. This one shot is my take on one possible reason why he did it, and why Bucky accepted it, even though it still bothered him. It also formed the basis for another fanfic story I wrote Stopping Winter, that details what Steve was up to on his return to the 1940s. If you wish to read this it is currently a WIP on Wattpad, AO3, and FanFiction.net under my username, SJSmith56.

<<Part 22

⭐️⭐️⭐️

The fight was over, and we won but we also lost. Tony Stark finally proved to all of his detractors that he could make the ultimate sacrifice and he did, saving the universe from a being that made HYDRA look like school children but losing his life in the process. The last time I had seen him was when Steve and I left him in Siberia, in a broken Iron Man suit, while we hightailed it for Wakanda. That was the time he wanted to kill me for being the one who took his parent's lives. It wasn't how I wanted to resolve things with him, not that it's really possible to resolve anything when you're fighting together on the battlefield.

When many of us rematerialized in Wakanda seemingly right after the battle we lost, we didn't know it had been five years ... five years of not being in existence, then several sorcerers appeared and told us to get armed as the fight had resumed, only this time in New York State. None of us got a chance to ask about anything, or anyone. None of us were given the opportunity to deal with the fact that the world had changed while we were ... just gone. We had to walk through one of those weird portals into another battlefield, a hellish one at that and meet a different version of Thanos. Just as dangerous but now determined to snap everyone out of existence.

It seemed like an eternity of fighting, shooting, close combat with more nightmare creatures, until Stark raised his hand, with the stones on them, the power of them tearing him apart, and stating defiantly, "I am Iron Man," before snapping his fingers and sending Thanos and all of his legions into oblivion. Then he fell against a concrete block where a kid started crying over him then a beautiful blonde woman, his wife I was told, smiled kindly at him and told him to rest. He closed his eyes and died. I never got to tell him how sorry I was that it was me that killed his parents, me that put that everlasting pain of loss into his heart.

As portals opened to send some of the combatants back to their country, even back to their planet, I stood there, unsure of what to do. I was still wanted and once the authorities found me on the battlefield with the others, I was sure they were going to arrest me, and shuffle me off to a secure prison before putting me on trial, or court martial, find me guilty and put me in front of a firing squad. But I was done with running, done with hiding, so I waited for the inevitable to happen. As I waited, several of the others, the Avengers, slowly gathered around me. At first, I thought they were there to help take me in then Steve looked over at me, nodded, and pressed his comms. I could hear his command through my comms earpiece, and I almost cried when he said it.

"Protect Bucky," he said. "No one takes him in. He's one of us."

It was King T'Challa who spoke next. "We are here, Captain," he said. "Wakanda will stand with you and the Avengers."

When trucks were sent to transport us to a military base there were armed guards waiting to take me but the looks they received from the others and the order Steve gave them to stand down was confirmed. They stood aside as we all boarded the trucks. Steve made sure I was beside him.

"What happened?" I asked. "I remember my hand beginning to disintegrate then nothing until I was suddenly standing up in Wakanda."

He smiled at me. "Wait until we get into one place, all together, and we'll explain it all," he replied. "We all need a shower and a change of clothes, but we'll tell you everything, I promise."

The trip from the desolation of the battlefield to a base with green grass and trees was less than an hour's duration but we could feel our hearts lift at the change as the sun shone on us and the sound of birdsong was all around. When the truck stopped in front of a barracks building an officer stepped to the open end of the truck and looked for Steve, making eye contact with him.

"Captain Rogers?" he said. "I have orders to take Sergeant Barnes into custody."

"No," said Steve, stepping towards the officer. "He stays with us."

"Sir, it's not negotiable," said the officer. "This comes from the Joint Chiefs."

"He's an Avenger, and we just defeated an alien force from decimating the entire world," stated Steve. "We're hungry, dirty, and tired. But we're all willing to fight for Bucky Barnes, because he's one of us. That's also not negotiable." He looked back at all of us, receiving nods of agreement from the others. "You really want to be the guy who picks a fight with us? Because I could fight all day."

I smiled. Some things didn't change. The man looked very frustrated then stepped back.

"Let them go," he said to the armed guard. Then he turned to Steve. "He's your responsibility, Cap. If he goes after anyone, we'll take him down."

"If anyone tries to hurt him in any way, I'll take them down," replied Steve. "He's to be given the respect due to a Sergeant in the Army, which he is, who has been a PoW for 70 years, because he was. Do I make myself clear, Lieutenant?"

"Yes, sir, crystal clear. I'll pass the word."

Only then did Steve jump out the back and we all followed. The lieutenant led us to the barracks and directed us to a hallway where we could pick our own rooms. He said there were toiletries and clothing ready for us. Then he looked at how big I was, along with another guy with long blond hair who was even bigger than me, saying he would bring bigger sized clothing for us. Steve insisted we bunk together, not trusting the military to keep their word and leave me alone. It was easy enough to carry a bed from one room into his, along with a locker, and the personal items that were there for us. While I waited for my change of clothes Steve had a shower, coming out wrapped in a towel. A soldier knocked on the door and dropped off some military athletic wear for me, a sweatshirt, sweatpants, underwear, socks, and what he called sneakers. They hardly weighed anything, and I wasn't sure they would hold up. Steve smiled.

"They are really comfortable," he said. "Once we debrief and get out of here, I'll take you shopping, and we'll get you some regular clothes. Go, have your shower."

Entering into the bathroom I stripped down and turned the shower on, stepping under the very warm stream. In Wakanda the water in the hut had been lukewarm which was fine in the heat, but this water was hot, and I let it hit my back, angling it so the spray went right between my shoulder blades. There was shampoo so I washed my hair, running it through my fingers so it wouldn't get tangled. I noticed then that unlike my HYDRA hand my hair didn't get tangled in the plates of this vibranium hand. It was definitely an enjoyable sensation. Before I came out, I peeked to make sure no one else was in the room as I was still a bit leery of people seeing my body. The scars had faded but were still quite prominent to me, and the arm and shoulder unit were definitely topics of a conversation that I really didn't want to have. Fortunately, Steve was alone.

"How's the new arm?" he asked, making me swear inside my head but he was Steve, so I gave him a pass.

"It's good. Much lighter than the other, stronger too. Just noticed when I washed my hair that it didn't get tangled in the plates. It always did with my other one."

He took a deep breath then and I knew he had news for me, likely bad news at that. I was shocked when he told me something else entirely.

"Rebecca is still alive," he said. "She survived the Snap and still lives in the retirement home in New Jersey. I think we should go see her."

"Freckles?" I asked. "She's what, 93 now? No, she doesn't remember me."

"She does and she wants to see you," said Steve. "She told me at her birthday party. The hippies and Grant Allman came out for it as well. Megan drove Summer, her dad James, and Tamsin. She's graduated from college, honours degree in political science. Grant went with me. It was a great day."

"You were all there together," I said, not believing him.

"We were all invited to her birthday party," he replied, as this shit-eating grin spread across his face. "You would have loved it. She has another three great grandchildren. There were balloons, streamers, and a big chocolate cake."

"How did you meet Grant?" I asked, surprised they had connected.

"He contacted me," said Steve. "He went to all the safe houses on the list you gave him. Used the money to change his life, helped quite a few veterans to get through some problems, and helped accumulate HYDRA files on you."

I sat down. They knew everything. Knew what I had done. Steve saw my face and stopped smiling, his face becoming serious.

"Bucky, we have the evidence to prove you were tortured, brainwashed, and forced to become the Winter Soldier," he said. "Despite what the Joint Chiefs of Staff believe they have no case against you. We were working on getting you a posthumous pardon, now we'll re-file the motion as a pardon for a living person. You'll probably have to appear in court, but we'll make sure we get you a good lawyer who will represent you properly. With the witnesses we have willing to testify to your character after you left HYDRA, they'll accept that you are not the Winter Soldier anymore. T'Challa will also provide the medical documentation of everything they found when they deprogrammed you."

For a time, I said nothing, just put my clothes on. "What if I believe I deserve punishment?" I asked. "I did all those things, Steve. I killed all those people. My journals are full of them. Speaking of which, where are my journals?"

Suddenly, I felt anxious as my whole being was in those books. My heart started to pound as I contemplated that they were all gone. Steve came over to my bunk and kneeled before me.

"They're in a safe location, still in Wakanda," he said. "All of the HYDRA files that we found, and that were found on your behalf are being stored in a secure place in New Jersey. They've been digitized." I looked at him, confused by what that meant. "Put into computer format. Bucky, do you remember Jovan Sakić?"

I nodded. He was the Roma leader in Croatia, born in New Jersey.

"He's been searching as well, not just your files, but all of HYDRA's files. Many of his people were victims. When you stood up for them in Zagreb, they adopted you as one of their own, meaning your fight is their fight. He's also watched out for Rebecca, making sure she has everything she needs."

I rubbed my hands on my face. All these people, who I had accepted help from had determined that I helped them and were paying it back, trying to help me clear my name. It was overwhelming and I didn't know what to say. Which was just as well as there was a knock on the door. Steve opened it to a man I remembered meeting in Wakanda. Rhodes was his name, I think. He came in and acknowledged me.

"Sergeant," he said, then he turned to Steve. "I hear they tried to take custody of Barnes. Sam and I talked to the lieutenant, and he tried to tell us the order came from the Joint Chiefs. I phoned my source in Washington, and it didn't. It came from the Military Intelligence Corps. We're pretty sure they want to "examine" Sergeant Barnes, then second him to their command."

"You mean turn me into their asset," I said. "Fucking unbelievable."

"I agree," said Rhodes. "So, I phoned the President. We've golfed several times. He has agreed to remand you to the custody of Cap here. It was the best I could do. Where he goes, you go. But if you step out of line...."

"Yeah, I get it," I said. "I'll behave. I'm not the Soldier anymore. Thank you for getting that at least."

"Hey, if it was up to me, I would show the whole world what was done to you, so they know how true evil works," said Rhodes. "HYDRA made you their weapon, but they had people who were high up in government, industry, and the military who were the ones making the decisions. They're the real criminals and some of them were in the perfect position to play one side against the other. Wars were started because of some of these people and their influence is still at play as some in command still refuse to believe they were compromised."

"Thanks, Rhodey," said Steve. "We should meet up in the mess for some food, and a debrief for those who reappeared. Bucky said they weren't given any time to adjust before coming to the battlefield."

"Sounds good, I'll pass the word."

He headed out and Steve looked at me. "Hungry?"

"Starving," I replied. "Even for army food."

We headed towards the mess hall, picking up more of the Avengers and a few others, including the talking raccoon, who eyed my arm, a tree person, a green skinned woman, and several other alien looking people. Steve said the green skinned woman was Thanos’ daughter, as was another blue skinned woman who seemed to have more cybernetic parts to her than I did. Both turned against him, so I guess their help was invaluable. When T'Challa and several Dora Milaje appeared all conversation from the regular military stopped. The women all made faces at the food but T'Challa said something in Wakandan that made me laugh. I didn't pass it on to the others, but I couldn't disagree with him that it was at least edible.

Once we had eaten our fill and Steve asked if we could use the mess hall for a debriefing, he stood in front of everyone, looking at every single person in turn.

"First of all, thank you for your efforts," he said. "We were able to find a way to bring all of you who disappeared back. When Thanos snapped his fingers in 2018, he had one thought on his mind ... that half of all living things disappeared. There was no rhyme or reason to it. His thought spread throughout the galaxy, possibly the universe and it wasn't limited to sentient life. Even animals disappeared. Then one of the Avengers, Scott Lang, who was trapped in a quantum dimension when it happened, was able to return and realized that for him only hours had passed in the almost 5 years that passed in this realm. I won't get into the science behind that. Those of you who are interested can talk directly to Bruce Banner, as he was part of the team that designed the replacement gauntlet and built the machine that transported us. Basically, we had to go back in time, using the quantum dimension, to where the stones still existed, borrow them, and bring them here to snap everyone back into existence. A complication occurred ... mainly a past version of Thanos found out and planted a spy in our midst who helped him get to this time and this place. That's how we found ourselves fighting him again. Except this time, we succeeded."

There was an increase in general comments and side conversations then Steve asked for our attention again.

"The stones that we brought from the past ... they have to go back to the exact moment we took them, otherwise we risk creating multiple timelines that will deviate from the original one and we've been warned that's a very bad thing. Unfortunately, one of the first things Thanos did when he arrived was to destroy the device we used to travel in time. Bruce, I'm going to ask if you can oversee digging it up and if there is anyone here with any kind of knowledge that can help rebuild at least one station, I'll volunteer to return the stones to where and when they belong."

"I will help," said Shuri, standing up. "I have the knowledge, despite how young I look."

"I'd like a try at it, Cap," said a gravelly voice, then the raccoon stood on top of his table. "I can build just about anything. That's no bullshit."

"My dad," said Hope Van Dyne. "He created the Pym particles that you apparently used to do this. I'm sure he would help. So would my mom. They're both geniuses."

"Alright," smiled Steve. "We have a plan. Bruce, Princess Shuri, Rocket, Hank Pym, and Janet Van Dyne will do what they can to rebuild the device. I would also ask that you all stay at or near the base until we have a memorial for Tony Stark. We owe him that much. I'll find out what I can about it. Until then we're based here. Try not to be too hard on the soldiers. They're not used to this many unusual people in one place."

With Steve finished and talking to some of the others Sam came and sat next to me, nodding at me in acknowledgement.

"What?" I asked, still not warmed up to him.

"How are you doing?" he asked and I looked at him before looking away, not answering. "Don't do that. I'm genuinely interested. I have a background in counselling veterans with PTSD. I know that I personally am having issues about being gone for 5 years. I still haven't phoned my sister and I'd like to take a side trip to see her .... Sorry, see what I mean? You have other issues, Buck. Being dissolved and watching as it happens doesn't help dealing with them."

"Don't call me Buck," I said. "To you I'm Bucky or Barnes. Only Steve gets to call me Buck."

"Fine, Bucky," he said, emphasizing the extra syllable.

I just shook my head. The guy was an asshole and probably thought the same of me. Which I didn't mind because I knew I could also be an asshole, had known since I could think. Then I let go of some of my aggression and looked at him.

"I know you mean well," I said. "I really do but I'm quite messed up. The only place I felt good was Wakanda and now I'm not there. They wanted to take me into custody here, the Military Intelligence Corps. Doesn't take much to know that they want my skills. I don't want to kill anymore. I did what I could to protect the human race from Thanos, but I can't do any more than that, not again."

He listened then gazed seriously at me. "I get that," he said. "You were under someone else's control for so long that your freedom to choose is important, really important to you. I'm going to make a suggestion. Whether you listen or not is up to you. Get a therapist, someone who can listen to you objectively, and help you work through your issues. You have 70 years of imprisonment and slavery to deal with. No one can do it on their own. You've lost most of your family, most of your friends, and you're a man out of your time. I know we didn't get along so well at times and that reflects my own biases. For that, I'm sorry. But I am invested in your future. If you need someone to talk to just call me. I'll pick up the phone."

He stood up, patted my shoulder then left me. Why the hell did he do that? Made himself helpful ... damn, I hated that. But Steve liked him, and I knew the little shit would pester me to be more friendly with Sam. Despite my misgivings I was going to have to trust someone.

Steve approached me again. "I've arranged transport for us into town tomorrow to get some clothing, and other necessities," he said.

"I have no money," I replied.

"I do," he said, pulling a wallet out of his combat pants. "I always carry my wallet."

"Punk," I muttered, receiving a big grin from him.

The rest of the evening was spent with Steve constantly being in demand while I sat back and cooled my heels. Only the Wakandans stayed near, occasionally making a comment in their language. Nothing offensive, just observations of life in America. It wasn't that the others were afraid of me, or maybe it was to a degree, but just that they didn't know me. I was the new one and the one with a dark past.

The following morning we met up with an older army sergeant, Dan Hobbs. He saluted Steve, even though Steve said he wasn't in the army anymore. Then he looked at me making me feel like I was being evaluated. He must have been an instructor at some point because of what he told me.

"I've read some of the HYDRA files on you," he finally said. "I read that you were trained as a sniper, and they were pleased about that because your instincts as a sniper would be kept intact and they wouldn't have to expend any effort in training in you in that, or in most of your combat skills for that matter."

"Yes, Sarge," I replied. "That's my understanding."

"That was good thinking on their part," he noted. "You boys that were trained as snipers for World War II learned from the best. I respect your skills, Sergeant Barnes, but if you try to escape while we're out, I've been ordered to shoot to kill."

"I have nowhere to go Sarge," I answered. "I'm not looking to escape. I just want some real clothes to wear. Not that there's anything wrong with these.”

He grinned. "Understood. Let's go, my truck is in the parking lot."

The trip into the nearest town didn't take long but Sergeant Hobbs wouldn't shut the hell up. He had an opinion on everything, from the colour of the street name signs to the way young men cut their hair, or didn't cut their hair, as he gave my long locks a good long look. He came with us to the clothing store, always inserting his opinion on one piece of clothing over another. Not that it really mattered because it had been so long since I had bought clothes that I just wanted to get the first things I could and get the hell out of there. After determining what size I needed we began going through the shelves or hangers and picking things out. Most of it was black or dark in colour, black or dark blue jeans (as I had become used to wearing them when I lived in Romania), T-shirts (mostly dark colours), underwear, socks, and a comfortable pair of black lace up boots. The sneakers were fine but they didn't feel right for walking. As we were walking past a display, I saw the shirts I really liked, advertised as Henley's, long sleeved T-shirts but with a button up collar. I found my size and grabbed several, not caring about the colour.

"What about a jacket?" asked Steve. "Black?"

"Black," I confirmed. "I need gloves as well."

"Can I give you some advice Barnes?" asked Hobbs, then didn't wait for an answer. "I figure at some point you're going to have to appear in court, either to face trial or to give your testimony in the likely investigation of how deeply HYDRA had infiltrated the military. Cut your hair and wear a suit, with a tie. Don't show up with that long hair and don't wear blue jeans. Present yourself as a real man and they'll respect you right away. Show your metal hand. I know you have a different one now which is good, because different will distance you from those Nazis. I guess what I'm trying to say is you have to represent yourself as a good man and how you look when you walk into that courtroom could set the stage for how they treat you."

It was good advice and I acknowledged it but I had reached the end of my tether for being out in public so Steve said we could leave buying a suit to another day. Hobbs drove us back and we headed back to the barracks with my haul. We had missed lunch so both of us were already feeling the effects of not having enough food to sustain us. Just before we entered the door to our room a private brought a note to Steve and he made a face, then shook his head.

"They're not happy that I challenged their authority about taking you into custody," he said. "I've been called to the CO's office to explain myself. You're not invited."

"You think they might try again while you're gone?" I asked.

"They shouldn't, not if the President has intervened," he replied. "I better find Rhodey and tell him about this. He might want to come with me. In the meantime, I'm sure we can find somewhere for you to be, surrounded by friends."

For a moment he said nothing, as if he wanted to talk about something serious then someone knocked on the door. He was definitely in demand. This time it was Sam.

"Just noticed an armed guard outside," he said. "I'm thinking they're here for Bucky."

"Shit," said Steve. "I've been called to the CO's office to explain why I intervened. Have you seen Rhodey?"

"In his quarters," said Sam. "What's the plan?"

"Gather everyone," said Steve. "Bucky isn't to be left alone for them to grab him. He's still under Avengers protection. Make sure T'Challa and the Dora Milaje are aware of this. The Wakandans, Thor, and Peter are our strongest fighters, although I hope it doesn't come down to that." He looked at me. "Let's go find Rhodey."

After filling Rhodes in we went to the mess hall where everyone else had gathered. Sitting me in the middle of the group Steve and Rhodes went to the CO's office. As soon as they left the armed guard came in and headed straight towards us. Before they could get to me the Dora Milaje stood in their way.

Now, anyone who has never seen the Dora Milaje before tends to underestimate them. They think they are decorative in purpose, exotic looking women surrounding a foreign king as part of his "harem." Nothing could be further from the truth. They are bodyguards first, but their structure is military, with a general, Okoye, who commands them with the toughness of any drill sergeant I ever encountered. Armed with their vibranium spears, and their intricate knowledge of hand-to-hand combat they are fearsome warriors. The corporal who attempted to order them aside found out the hard way that no one tells the Dora Milaje what to do.

"Move aside, ma'am," he said, smirking at her. "We have orders to take Sergeant Barnes into custody."

"No," was Okoye's simple response.

Then he tried to push her aside and met an immovable force. As everyone else in our group tensed up, ready for a fight, King T'Challa stepped forward.

"Corporal," he said, in his deceptively calm voice, "you do not want to proceed any further. General Okoye has committed to keeping Sergeant Barnes from harm and she will not let you pass."

"General ...," smirked the corporal. "In case you haven't noticed we're armed with guns. Your spears will not be enough to keep us from Barnes."

A slight uprising of her lips was the only indicator that Okoye was amused but she still didn't stand down. Visibly irritated the corporal attempted once again to get past her and found himself on the floor. Before his guards could even react the five other members of the Dora Milaje who were there disarmed the others and had them on the floor as well. The others in our group just watched and let it happen, knowing the guards needed to be taught an object lesson. When another squad of armed men arrived, the others stood up, even me but Sam gently touched my arm.

"Let us handle it," he said. "I'm guessing they're trying to goad you into reacting, giving them an excuse to take you with force."

I nodded but all of my instincts were on alert, and I could feel the adrenaline flowing through me, as HYDRA had always conditioned me to accept the fight response, rather than the flight option. That is where Steve, Rhodes, and Sergeant Hobbs found us, in this tense standoff. Using his sergeant's voice, Hobbs called the soldiers off, ordering them to stand down then stand at attention while he addressed them. When the corporal objected, I had to smile as the shorter Hobbs stood in front of the younger man and glared at him.

"What part of that order did you not understand, Patterson?" he asked. "Who ordered you to come here and create an international incident?"

"Sarge?" he asked, genuinely confused. I almost felt sorry for him. "I ... uh, a Captain Meriweather."

"From the Military Intelligence Division, am I right?" he asked. Patterson nodded. "Do you normally obey orders from someone not affiliated with the base? The order that Sergeant Barnes was not to be bothered was given by the Commander in Chief. The Commander in Chief! You know who that is, right?"

"The President?" winced the young corporal. "But Sarge, Captain Meriweather ...."

"Is in the CO's office right now, explaining why he just tried to countermand the President's order." Hobbs looked past Patterson at all the other soldiers, then raised his voice so that any other soldier in the mess hall could hear him. "Just so you all understand ... Sergeant Barnes is a sergeant in the United States Army. He was a prisoner of war for 70 years until he escaped from his captors. The President has given him permission not to report for duty until his legal issues have been resolved, which includes him being free to retain legal counsel and to go about his way unhindered. Until then he is to be given the respect due a man in his position. I had the privilege of spending some time with Sergeant Barnes today, and in my opinion, he is a man who I want on my six." He looked back at me, our eyes meeting. He nodded at me, and I nodded back. "If I hear any sort of disrespect spoken of Sergeant Barnes, I can make sure that some extra training can be added to everyone's daily duties. Dismissed."

As everyone in our group stood down the soldiers picked up their guns from the floor and slinked off under the watchful eye of Sergeant Dan Hobbs. With both of them shaking their heads at what almost happened Steve and Rhodes approached us.

"Well, good thing the CO had already called Washington to confirm the order," said Rhodes. "That Captain Meriweather tried to do an end run around it, claiming he wasn't aware of the President becoming involved. That just irritated the President and the CO even further. Sarge, you still have to have an escort, but it's not limited to Steve anymore. It's been expanded to include Sam, and me, if you trust us."

"The CO has also assigned me a vehicle so we can go see Rebecca tomorrow," said Steve. "On the way back, we'll stop to see a lawyer that Grant found for you."

"Thanks, I appreciate it, all of it."

I did appreciate it, but everything seemed to be happening so fast that I was having trouble keeping up. At that moment I could feel a headache coming on. Since it was almost dinner time, I ate but as soon as I was done, I told Steve I just wanted to rest. Even though we had slept the night before it wasn't a good sleep as we were both still filled with the adrenaline of the battle. After getting the necessities taken care of during the day we both wanted some time to relax. As we talked while we got ready for bed we reminisced about the times when we slept over at each other's homes. It was a lifetime ago but in the dark of that barracks room it felt right. Just before I fell asleep, I thought of something.

"Steve?"

"Uh huh?" he mumbled.

"We're gonna get a place together, back in Brooklyn, aren't we?" I asked.

There was no reply then I could hear him breathe out. "We'll talk about it tomorrow," he said. "I'd like that, but I only have a one-bedroom flat."

It sounded like there were other things going on that he wouldn't give me a straight answer to but I didn't want to push it, even though I could feel the anxiety beginning to build again. I had to trust Steve. So far he hadn't let me down.

The following morning, we were about half an hour away from the base when Steve finally stopped talking about mundane things and came clean.

"I'm not making any plans because I'm not sure I'm staying," he said.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"It's not really a where but a when," he said. He glanced at me and my face must have alarmed him. "Give me moment to explain."

He told me about how they went back to various points in time to take the stones, at times and places they knew they would be available. To keep those timelines going the way they should the stones had to be replaced at the exact same moment and time.

"I'm doing it because I can move fast enough to replace them without anyone seeing me," he said, his forehead creasing a little. "Since we thought everyone who disappeared was dead, I've been thinking about leaving it all behind, the superhero thing. It wears on me. The responsibility, the effort it takes; it's become too much. I wanted a simpler life and I had it until Scott appeared to tell us about the quantum universe. I don't want to be Captain America anymore. I just want to be Steve Rogers."

"So, what does that have to do with travelling in time?" I asked, making him grimace slightly, then I got it. "You want to go back."

"Yeah, I do," he said. "We can both go back."

"What about facing the charges against me?" I asked. "That sounds like running out on everyone who's stuck their neck out for me, doesn't it?"

"That's one way of seeing it," he agreed. "But you could start over with a clean slate. Say you were a PoW and that you lost your memory. We show up a few years after the war and we begin our lives again."

If it were only that easy. I looked down at my hands, seeing the first obstacle right there. "How do I explain this?" I asked, holding up my vibranium hand. "It's advanced even for this time. Plus, if HYDRA ever gets an inkling that I'm back don't you think they would come after me again?"

"Yeah, there is that possibility," he said, as he kept driving. "I loved her, Bucky. Tony and I went back to the 1970s to get Pym particles and one of the stones. I was in Peggy's office and she still kept a picture of me, pre-serum me. She loved me in both my bodies, skinny Steve and Captain America Steve."

"So you want to go back for her," I clarified, sounding more irritated than I thought I did, "more than you want to stay here and help me see this through. That's some plan."

"Buck don't be angry," he said. "There's another reason to do this but we have to see Rebecca, so you see it for yourself."

I tried to get him to explain but he wouldn't, just kept saying I would find out at Rebecca's. Eventually, I gave up trying to get him to say more and we drove the rest of the way to Newark in silence. As we pulled up to the senior's home, I could see it was a very nice place, with well-tended flower beds out front. Inside was just as nice; clean, bright, and by the sounds of it, full of activities for the residents. After checking in at the reception Steve led me to Rebecca's room before stopping me in the hallway.

"Let me get her ready to see you," he said. "She knows you're coming but I imagine she'll still be in a bit of shock when you walk in."

As I cooled my heels in the hallway I could hear him talking to her, telling her I was just outside. He asked if she was ready to see me. Then he was there at the door, beckoning me in. I stepped into the room, seeing a tiny white-haired woman with bright blue eyes, sitting in an armchair. Her eyes filled with tears when she saw me and I kneeled down to her, feeling like I wanted to cry myself.

"Bucky," she whispered, running her fingertips over my face. "My big brother. Look at you. You've hardly changed and I'm an old woman."

"Oh, Freckles," I murmured. "You're still beautiful. I still see my baby sister."

She kissed me then and put her arms around me, drawing me in close. I could feel her tears making my cheek wet and I rubbed her back with my hand, trying to comfort her. We stayed like that for several minutes before she finally loosened her hold on me. As I leaned back, she took in all of my face again.

"If I hadn't seen Steve and how young he remained I wouldn't have believed it possible," she said. "Those people that kept you prisoner ... I hate them. They stole you from us. Ma and Dad died without knowing the truth. Is it true some people want to put you on trial for what you were forced to do?"

I nodded. "Steve said they have all sorts of evidence that prove I was tortured into it but I still did it, Freckles," I replied. "I still feel guilt for the people I killed."

"I know," she smiled sadly. "That's just the type of man you always were, Bucky. You always owned up to your mistakes." She looked over at Steve. "Did you tell him?"

"About going back, yes," he said. "But not about the letter. You still have it?"

She nodded. "It's in the top drawer of my desk. I got this letter after Ma received that medal for you. I never showed it to her as it would have upset her. She had already showed me the Hobbit book with your Christian name in it, even though Peggy Carter told her to keep it secret." Steve handed her a folder and she looked at it before looking at me. "Just read this."

I opened the folder and saw an opened envelope, and a plain piece of paper with handwriting on it. It was addressed to Rebecca Barnes Proctor, dated in 1991.

October 10, 1991

Dear Rebecca,

I'm sending you this letter after learning about the Medal of Honor that was awarded to your brother, James Buchanan Barnes. Did he deserve it? Yes, absolutely, but not just for the reasons you think.

You see, Bucky is still alive, still a prisoner of war, being held by an organization known as HYDRA. I was part of a small group of people trying to rescue him. We had to be very careful with our efforts as HYDRA was very suspicious of anyone who had access to your brother. When they first acquired him, after he fell from the train in Austria, his body was so broken, and they treated his injuries while injecting him with a super soldier serum. What was worse was they were already torturing him, trying to break his mind.

You see, Rebecca, they saw what Dr. Abraham Erskine did to Steve Rogers with his super soldier serum and they wanted to do the same thing to a soldier that they could control. What better way to do it than to choose a soldier who they could hurt because he couldn't fight back, neither physically nor mentally. Except, we know that Bucky did just that. He fought them as hard as he could, even when he didn't know who he was, he still knew enough to understand that what they were doing was wrong.

Ultimately, we failed. We were so close to getting Bucky to a place where we could take him back and fix him but they moved him to another place, imprisoning him in a way that he had no idea of time or reality. Our agent finally found him and tried to help but was caught and killed. When we finally heard about it the agent that managed to tell us that much had also been caught and executed, leaving Bucky truly on his own. I wanted to go myself to find him but the risk of being caught was too great and I was forced to stand down, to my shame and disappointment.

I'm sorry, very sorry, that you're only learning this now. Missions like the one I was on are secret for a reason but sometimes the secrecy that is needed to protect the people involved means that when it goes wrong, nothing can be done to rectify it. When the secret about Bucky finally comes out it may dismay you. People may say things about him that just aren't true. Just believe that there are people who know the truth and will do all they can to make sure everyone knows. I know, because I'm one of them.

Always a friend to Bucky until the end of the line.

I looked at Rebecca then to Steve, both of them with a sincere but deliberate expression on their face. I looked at the date again, saw the paper was old, the envelope it came in was postmarked October 12, 1991. Then I looked at the writing again because I had seen that writing before, many times in the 1930s and 1940s.

"How is this possible?" I asked Steve. "You were looking for me in the 1950s? You were frozen."

"I was frozen," he answered. "But apparently, I was also there, in hiding, trying to find you and rescue you."

"But it didn't work," I countered. "I mean obviously, it didn't work because I still did all of those killings for HYDRA. I was still the Winter Soldier."

"Yeah," he said, looking down. "Bucky, I asked Dr. Strange about this. This letter proves I went back, not just for Peggy, but for you. Even though I know I wasn't successful I still have to go."

"Why?" I stood up, holding the paper towards him. "If it didn't work what's the point of going back at all? What's the point of leaving me here, after I've just ...."

Rebecca touched my hand, and I could see the tears in her sad face. Steve let out a tortured breath then stood straight and looked me in the eye.

"Because there is a chance that when I go back this time I'll be successful," he said. "Dr. Strange saw it but he can't tell in which timeline I rescue you. So, apparently, it is my destiny to return to the past to try to find you and to keep trying until I succeed. In that timeline, you return home, you see your parents again, you stand up as a groomsman at Rebecca's wedding, you become godfather to my children, and you get married yourself, able to have the family you always wanted. The best part is that you and Captain America fight together, stopping HYDRA in their tracks, preventing them from doing to that timeline what they did to this one."

I staggered back a little hearing him outline what could happen if he succeeded in finding and rescuing me. It all seemed too fantastic, too much like a science fiction novel. Yet, if there was a chance that he could save me and together we could stop HYDRA then maybe it was something I had to let happen.

"How will I ever know if it worked?" I asked. "Isn't this timeline already set?"

"Yeah, this timeline won't change," he said, frowning slightly, in that way he had. "This timeline will continue on. I'm doing this for the timeline that hasn't happened yet. For the Bucky who hasn't fallen yet, hopefully hasn't had the words implanted, and still knows who he is. It's a sacrifice, Bucky. You have to let me go and stay here on your own, figure out life on your own."

"Does Dr. Strange know how I do in this timeline?" I asked, wanting desperately to have something good to cling to.

Steve shook his head. "He refused to say, something about not interfering in the natural order of things. My going back is part of the natural order of things."

That staggered me more than anything. I had just been reunited with my best friend and he was preparing to leave, for good. Another thought came to me.

"You wrote this in 1991 which means you might still be alive," I said. "The serum can keep you alive longer, can't it? You could still be my friend in this timeline, still be there for me."

"I'll be more than 70 years older," he said. "I'll probably be a very different man than the one standing here. I'm not sure I'll be of any help to you. It's possible I've already died by this date. Buck, there are people here, that belong in this time who will help you. Sam has been a good friend to me and he could be a good friend to you, if you let him. Grant, Jovan, Megan, even James Marsh have all said they're just a phone call away if you need them. Hell, Sergeant Hobbs seems to like you. You just have to give those people a chance."

I knew he was right but a part of me felt abandoned, even betrayed, that the one person who I remembered throughout all of it couldn't stay and be part of my life going on. It was unfair.

"Do the others know about this?" I asked, gesturing to the letter.

He shook his head. "No, just us three and Dr. Strange but he won't talk about it to anyone. You can't tell them, either. Dr. Strange did say there will be one person you tell but he didn't say who it was, or why you told them. I'm guessing it will be someone you trust more than anyone."

I still didn't like it but it was obvious there really was no choice in the matter. We stayed, visiting Rebecca for another couple of hours before saying our goodbyes. She made me promise that I would come to see her as much as I could. On the way back to the base we stopped at a lawyer's office and I met the lawyer who had agreed to handle my case. He said he was representing me pro bono, which in Latin means "for the public good." In my case, it meant he was also representing me for free, since I had no job, or prospects of one. With the evidence of all the recovered HYDRA and army files that Jovan Sakić, Steve, and apparently Tony Stark had found he was confident of a pardon. He also recommended I file a claim for back pay; as a PoW I was entitled to it. Finally, he wanted to file a lawsuit against the estates of several high profile individuals who had been identified as HYDRA leaders; people who had actively suppressed the knowledge of my existence to the world and kept me imprisoned. Some of them were military so there would be additional claims filed against the army for the actions of several generals in keeping my existence a secret.

Over the next week Steve and I hung out together as much as possible, often including Sam in our activities. Steve wanted me to feel comfortable with him and the others, I guess. I tried but it wasn't easy as I often felt judged, mostly by myself. When Stark's memorial service was held, I had a panic attack, feeling I shouldn't be there, as Tony wouldn't have wanted me. Steve had already left, having been asked to be an honorary pallbearer. Sam, tasked with getting me there, knocked on the door and saw me sitting on the bed in my black jeans and shirt, the suit I bought still hung up in the locker.

"Bucky, you're not ready," he stated, ignoring the fact that it was obvious.

"I'm not going," I replied. "Tony wouldn't want me there."

"Tony's not going to be there," he said, again stating the obvious. With a small grimace he sat down beside me and mirrored my posture. "Bucky, you need to go, even if it's just to resolve your own feelings about the man. Let's face it, you didn't get a chance to tell him you were sorry. But he also didn't get a chance to say he forgave you."

I looked at Sam, shaking my head slightly in acknowledgement. Maybe this was why Steve wanted me to accept this man as a friend. Sometimes, in his plain spoken but obvious way Sam said things that needed to be said out loud. He stood up suddenly and picked up my zip up jacket, handing it to me, not saying anything. Putting it on, I followed him, and we joined the others, waiting for the vehicles to take us to Tony's cabin, where the service would be held on the pond beside it. A young woman, Wanda, beautiful but with sad eyes smiled at Sam, then turned her gaze to me. She looked at me without flinching, or judgement, then gently placed her hand on my arm.

"You're not alone, James," she said softly. "I was also HYDRA, but by choice, a choice made when I was an angry child. I blamed Tony for my parent's deaths, saw him as a monster, until I faced the real monster. We all do things that we regret. It's what we do with the regret after that's important."

During the service I almost bolted several times, but Sam was there and so was Wanda, both of them lending me their calm presence to see it through. Later when the device that would allow Steve to return the stones was completed, I joined the other few people who were present. We said goodbye, the same way we did when I went to war, except I knew I wouldn't see my friend like this again. It hurt, but it had to be done because that's who Steve was, the guy who never gave up fighting. He was just taking the fight to a place I couldn't follow. Then he stepped on the platform, looked at me once more and activated the suit he had to wear before disappearing in a flash.

As the others panicked when he didn't return, I looked in the other direction and saw the old man sitting on a bench, facing the lake, with a large carrying case by his side. I called to Sam, and nodded towards the old man, knowing who he was. Sam seemed hesitant to approach the older Steve until I told him to go ahead. This was Sam's moment with destiny, and I was there for him, whatever that would entail. Steve had come up with the plan, and I was going to follow it.

Part 24>>

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