#bruh wtf

[iridescentdove]

I need a BSD x Reader where it’s just the reader casually rizzing up everyone like no one is safe from the reader’s infinite rizz, not the ADA, not the PM, not the DOA, not the guild, and definitely not the Hunting Dogs, not even civilians; it’s literally everyone that is getting rizzed up, while the reader is aware and laughs and points at every clown they rizzed up.

THE ULTIMATE RIZZLORD.

various!BSD x reader

A/N: anon, I would like to point out how much I love you and this request right now. also, I put the reader in the port mafia for fun because why not.

Absolutely speechless.

This is how everyone felt – well, whether whoever it may be, there was just one thing all could collectively agree on. They may all be feared and powerful factions that anyone could basically kneel down to, however ...

Who THE FUCK is this audacious person?

MORI was the first to witness your ass flirt with every single person you saw. But no, did you even care? Not at all. He stares, bewildered and mildly in concern as you came up to every single person you saw – completely distracted from the mission at hand as you asked women to step on you, choke you ...

He wants you throw you back from where you came from.

Oh wait, nevermind. You were now flirting with HIM. MORI is in even more shock at your confidence. Damn, pretty bold of you. But he actually thought you kinda hot fr. Elise still #1 bae tho

And somehow, you were taken up to being an executive. Everyone is morbid and utterly terrified.

How the fuck is someone like you an EXECUTIVE?? HELLO??

CHUUYA turns as red as his hair could ever be. Look man, he just wanted to complain about Dazai and you here just ..

"That fucking idiot Dazai! I'll rip him apart!"

"Yes daddy- I mean, can you do that to me too?"

"... What?"

"Ooh~ those fingers are so slender and pretty .."

"Wh-"

"Mind if I ... caress them a little, babygorl?"

"(Y/N) WHAT-"

Aww, look at that, Chuuya is deader than Odasaku <3

But God forbid you be taken on important missions against another factiom because fuck man. All you're there for is 1% fighting, 99% rizzing.

Y'know when everything was in chaos in Yokohama bcz of the Guild trying to take over? Everyone's fighting their ass off, God knows where DAZAI is but no one cares, and you?? Uh yeah already guessed it.

Tryna rizz up the agency.

Like yes, they're in trouble, everyone is, we know but fuck war we want fictional men. And women.

"Are you lingo? Because we can make a good duo 😏" - you

"... Did you just make a duolingo pickup line" - kunikida

Man times when the port mafia and the agency are in a truce, you're there back and forth flirting nonstop. Everyone is red, turned on from your oh so amazing rizzler skills

DAZAI enjoys your company obviously. Both of you create so much chaos, but even sometimes you're so much worse than him. You're the only one who can actually surprise him. Like wtf bitch stop flirting with the damn secret police?? Uh??

You make suicidal jokes, whispering them so sexily in his ear he wanna take you to the bed right there mamasita lip bite

Oh, the Decay of Angels wanna achieve world domination? They can dominate sumn else if you know what I mean

No words can express how terrified u keep making everyone THAT'S FYODOR HE'LL KILL YOU WITH A TOUCH BITCH- oh wait nvm he's melting from all of your rizz and affection.

You are literally so sweet but so confusing. SIGMA sees you around the Sky Casino just chilling and flirting with everyone you see. He don't mind cause you hot anyway

The Guild kinda ... actually, no. They're not safe. FITZGERALD? More like Rizzgerald cause this bitch 'bout to get rizzed so hard he turns poor

Yeah .. I don't take it to heart.

You'll just be up in their ass even after the Yokohama incident. Literally all of them both love and hate you. "Should we throw her off a cliff or kiss her" "Idk the second option is kinda tempting tho" "Boss, what do we d-" "Both."

DAMN LOVECRAFT AND BRAM TOO?? BITCH STOP 😭

No one can escape from your rizz. Okay one time you got kidnapped by the fuckin Hunting Dogs but you just?? Started to rizz up and call JOUNO ur bbygorl?? He is seconds from slicing your head off but he gave up at this point.

Where you got that rose from 🤨

Why the fuck is romantic music playing 😐

You asked FUKUCHI himself to choke you and slam you against the wall. Not even an ounce of regret of fear.

Everyone officially is scared of you.

ANGO isn't free from this either, bitch. You'll strut into the room all happy to talk for a mission and all but ... uhh. "So you're from the Special Division? I can't blame you then ... I feel as if I have something special going on for you."

ANGO, internally: iamnotasimp- iamnotasimp- iamnotasimp-

Sadly, he is now a simp.

The fact his face turns so red is not unnoticed by you. You laugh, clowning everyone you literally rizzed up no joke. They're so in love with ur pretty/handsome/hot ass 😔

No one is free. If you find a pretty bird, ask it's hand for marriage. There is no other way but that.

Mk but the way you literally hit on AKUTAGAWA do be funny. Bitch is so oblivious, he just thinks you're another certain blonde hair slaying bitch 😳

By the time he actually knows you're rizzing him up by being more direct about your advances, he is questioning life.

But bcz you're SOO close to DAZAI maybeee we can ...

Work sumn out, you know? heh

One day the mafia just be chilling and BOOM heree comes the wh00000re~ hello wh000re~ welcome~ 😍

(i am so sorry if this offends someone it's a meme-)

Cue everyone sighing as you come in and start your daily routine which is rizzing. You'll be caressing KOUYOU's cheek, talking to CHUUYA with that sexy ass deep voice, whispering in MORI's ear, and everytime you breathe the vine boom sound effect comes off.

Can't say they don't like it though. We all know we have some horny deviants lovestruck little cuties <3 but let's just say it's hard being here with those hoes 😔✌️

Yet most especially,

You.

*bites lip* (i am sorry.)

#bungou stray dogs #bsd x reader #crack #shitpost #bsd shitpost #hunting dogs bsd #port mafia #armed detective agency #rizz lord #idk what im doing #bruh wtf #anyways #hope you like <3 #decay of angels #everyone x reader

[beautifullightharmony]

Please take a look at this from TikTok, it’s extremely important as our US government is doing all they can to attack more children in this country. We must do everything we can to protect all American children regardless of different backgrounds.

Update: May 2nd, 2023

Wanted to also link this petition here so everyone can help save the indigenous children in about 50 days before the overturning: (link is underneath the Tiktok video)

The States that codify ICWA into their State constitution so far is:

California

Oklahoma

Washington

New Mexico

Nebraska

Minnesota

Maine

Michigan

Iowa

Montana

#childrensrights #indigenous #native american #bipoc community #poc community #black preborn lives matter #black lives matter #stop asian violence #stop asian hate #social justice #bruh wtf #seriously wtf #video #tiktok

[struggles-and-prose]

Yeah... A "cat". 😉

Aaah, Kutner. Always so weirdly adorable and- a bit disgusting. XD

#canada #montreal #quebec #lawrence kutner #dr. house #house md #dr house #wtf #yeah... a cat #bruh wtf #remy hadley #remy thirteen hadley

[iftheresaholetheresagoal]

Honesty.... Yes🥴

(This amazing quote was made by Rachel Zombies)

#shitpost #funny shit #cute #so cute #awww so cute #adorable #awww this is so cute #bruh what #bruh wtf #salad #salad fingers #my bbg fr #my bbg <3 #hes so bbg #so bbg #bbgrl #bbg #hes my bbg

[imsofansie]

I had a dream like a week ago where Voldemort tried to kill me with a K-12 rotary saw

Edit: a K-12 saw isn’t like the kindergarten through 12th grade it’s the brand and they look like this

#bruh wtf #i dreamt #voldemort

[goo-berz]

Rating every Vampire Emoji

We all know how sexy hot vampires are, so here I am.. rating every emoji of a vampire to see if they're as sexy hot...

Apple

They're okay.. It's apple, it's just okay.. except for that hair girl u need a better haircut maybe get some layers in. This is one of the only few that's actually white white, which is an interesting choice, but I'm not sure how I feel about the dark-skin variant... it's a little, uh... 4/10

Google

Guys hear me out... he/they is kinda bad tho.. it can be argued the art isnt as good as Apple, but I'm not rating this on good art, I'm rating this on sexyness, and this is a sexy vampire. The hair is so fluffy.. and that widows peak, hot damn! If I walked into a mansion and this vampire insisted I stayed for the night I would stay no questions asked. Tbh I'd get down on my knees and beg him to bite my neck. 10/10

Samsung

looks too much like a 7 year old with an ugly ass orange vest, and I dont vibe with a vampire that wears an orange vest. 0/10

Microsoft

Looks like he's 50, could be a dilf... I'm not typically into dilfs but if you're a loving father and a vampire I WANT YOU SO BADLY. but i can't do higher cause the collar and vest are two different colors of red, what the fuck 7/10

Windows

The collar looks like a medal.... a medal for what... sucking men? 2/10

WhatsApp

This alone could replace the LGBT flag and it would represent us.. what the fuck, this is the gay whore emoji... you can TELL he enjoys men 6/10

Twitter

I love the huge goofy teeth, I don't think they're that sexy. I have to be honest, also a twink.. Imma give it like a 5.. would have been 4 but I love the fat fucking teeth. 5/10

Facebook

love the expression and hairstyle and I gotta be happy there's finally a vampire with a ruffle.. ruffles are THE sexiest thing a vampire could wear, but they aren't my type... 2/10

LG

This just reminds me of the apple one, idk why its just the vibe.. only different is it lacks pizzazz and it looks like a weird fucking butler with that out of place bowtie.. when in the world has a vampire worn a bowtie? 3/10

So.. the award for the sexiest emoji vampires goes to:

🥇 Google

🥈Microsoft

🥉WhatsApp

#review #ratings #vampire #emoji #bruh wtf #what is this

[paulamoon1]

Why did they take this out

#prince daemon targaryen #daemon targaryen #hotd #hotd spoilers #house of the dragon hbo #daemon x laena #house of the dragon #laena velaryon #baela targaryen #rhaneyra targaryen #rhaena targaryen #bruh wtf #fuhbo

[bleuternatea]

Woah guys Vincent just got remarried, good for him 👍

#a way out #bruh wtf #idk what to say

[clarkestetler]

I am not responsible for what this fanart did to me. Full credit to the author who I CANNOT FIND NOWWWWWW

#catapulted me into Superbat #superbat #bruh wtf #I love it so much

[peacexsells]

cheese 🧀

#80s thrash #thrash metal #dave mustaine #megadeth #80s metal #vic rattlehead #peace sells #peace sells... but who's buying? #why’s he so cute #bruh wtf

[mariposas8494]

WTH 😂🤣

#actually bipolar #bipolar disorder #bipolar mania #mental heath support #bipolar1 #bipolar depression #disabled #mental health #mental health matters #infp #wth #bruh wtf

[crazycartoonnerd123]

Me: Aw man I need to emotionally recover from Watching and Dreaming. What should I watch?

*the rest of S1 of MGADD gets released*

Me: Oh okay. This shoe hasn't been too angsty yet, and it's really cute, and it makes me happy. I'll watch that.

*Watches the rest of S1 and gets slapped in the face with THAT GOD FORSAKEN CLIFFHANGER*

Me: ...

My brain: ...

My dog: ...

Me: Okay WHAT THE ACTUAL FU-

It's safe to say I got some war flashbacks to Amphibia and The Owl House. I really REALLY didn't expect all of the plot twists in this episode.

#moon girl and devil dinosaur #mgadd #lunella lafayette #mgadd spoilers #the owl house #watching and dreaming #bruh wtf #truly wasnt expeting that #that actually destroyed me emotionally #it made me cry #actual tears

[swoleisthegoal]

Tuff Guyzzz

#bros #muscular #himbos #bruh wtf #bruh #toxic masculinity #str8 #testosterone #bodybuilders #bodybuilder #bodybuilding #gym motivation #jock #handsome #athletes #ripped #pumped up #weight lifting #gym rats #buddies

[iftheresaholetheresagoal]

Wanna know who's breathing rn?

#shitpost #funny shit #cute #so cute #awww so cute #adorable #awww this is so cute #bruh what #bruh wtf #hazbin hotel #hazbin lucifer #hazbin hotel lucifer #lucifer morningstar #shortking #short king #depressing shit #personal shit #my shit #random shit #shitghosting #holy shit #dumb shit #lol memes #lol #lolz #idk lmao #like huh #why am i like this #lmao #lit

[state-of-franklin]

Like I had a dream of Season 2 last night, and weirdly it seemed exactly like what Season 2 might actually be like in terms of reveals. Like it turned out Alastor was actually a fraud, he didn’t kill all those overlords when he first got to Hell, but rather lied and said he did, and began attaining some power over the years with that rep, never a lot but enough to beat out smaller names, that being why he was so dependent on smaller deals like those he had Rosie keep an eye out for. He wasn’t pacing himself but desperately trying to live up to the myth of the Radio Demon. And it turned out Husk had been more powerful than Alastor when he acquired his soul, and the day he did was just as stressful for Alastor as it was for Husk. Then Vox tried to have him join the Vees, Alastor turned him down since he didn’t want to truth of his power being much lower than thought being found out, they got in a fight, and Alastor was legitimately hurt but managed to hide it and leave before Vox realised, just as he did with Adam. Alastor then encountered the real force responsible for those overlords going missing: Eve, the first woman. Basically in the world of ‘Hazbin’, before Heaven and Hell, there was simply Good and Evil, literal personifications, concepts given awareness. Good was the first to gain mass, becoming God, creating the angels and then Earth, Adam, Lilith, Eve, while Evil was left a simple force, until Lilith formed the apple of free will and gave it to Eve, infecting her with Evil, and so she became its embodiment, God’s counterpart in evil. Who could be seen in the opening storybook in the first episode, Go(o)d a closed eye amongst clouds, Evil a red eye(s) and smile amongst darkness, I checked once I woke up to ensure that shot was real. So basically all descendants of hers, humanity, would have both good and evil within them: the reason Adam was in Heaven was that in spite of being a jerk, he never had Evil as a concept within him. So what neither Alastor or Eve would have known was that because of this, he was among the few that could ever kill her (Evil), and now that Niffty took him out of the picture, the only ones left who could do so are Lilith and Charlie, the only ones of human descent not to be infected with Evil on some level (angels not having the right stuff to make it work). Anyway my dream had it that Alastor and Lilith hadn’t really met, but once Alastor made his deal with Eve, and she got herself a representative, Lilith felt it, and immediately fled to Heaven. And we would find this out since in Season 2, overlords started to go missing again as they once did before, only this time Alastor couldn’t really claim credit. My dream ended before it was clear who had killed them, whether it was Eve trying to find a new rep (the process having dissolved the souls of most whose wills were not powerful enough to escape her, before she had found Alastor, who would have spent the seven years he was gone attempting to escape her mass, regain corporeality to act on Eve’s behalf), or whether it was Lilith trying to figure out which overlord was Eve’s rep and wipe them out, but it did feature Vox be killed later on in the season, and Valentino and Velvette had a beautiful mournful ballad in response to this, like with her being the source of all Evil in this world I could have seen Val apologists in real life saying all he did wasn’t his fault because of her, what her influence did, which wouldn’t be great, but the scene my mind came up with was (great). So anyway Alastor’s purpose would have been to prevent redemption within Hell from being possible, since it would ruin Eve. It seemed surprisingly plausible to canon as we know it: I was thoroughly impressed with my subconscious mind on waking up.

Op did Apollo just be like “oh yeah I’m gonna give this bitch everything tn just for funnies” like the FUCK?!?

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel theory #dream #asks #thank you anon #anon ask #bruh wtf #that is insane #but a really interesting take on this whole Lilith and Eve business #get it Anon

[yourmomisdateingme]

Why is Barbatos chasing mammon around😭💀

#obey me nightbringer #obey me mammon #shall we date barbatos #but whyyy #bruh wtf