Tumgik
#bruce typing rapidly: *metallic robot lady voice* i don't know why it did that that was so weird what's going on
batarangsoundsdumb · 3 years
Text
what if bruce, for authenticity shits and giggles just, never uses the voice modulator lucius gave him and permanently destroying his vocal chords
batman, not using a voice modulator and being forced to have surgery: lucius fox : excuse me? what was that? “you were right, lucius, i should have listened to you from the start, lucius”  lucius fox: i fucking told you so
dick tries to go out as batman one (1) night and he comes back, chugs a gallon of water, says "what the fuck bruce" and goes on vocal rest for a month
dick, after doing the batman voice without a voice modulator: so that was the worst fucking experience of my life and i’m never doing that again
so obviously jason tries and he does the voice and he goes "what are you talking about, it's not that hard- *wheeze* no im having an asthma attack, im having an asthma attack"
tim manages to go out as batman for multiple days before the rest figures out he just uses a sound app with two (2) sounds that are just 'i am justice' and 'i am batman'
(it took him and steph multiple hours of editing because they couldn't find a recording that didn't have a loud SMACK right through the audio that was just bruce beating up some random criminal)
cass also uses the sounds so she just arrives to some active crime in all her 5 foot glory and you just have the lowest fucking batman voice going "i am justice"
gothamites realise that the bats actually use the voice sometimes and they just start listing them off whenever they hear it like: is it batman? nah he's with the justice league red hood? no he only does it in the mcdonalds drive thru red robin? maybe signal? nah he only patrols during the day robin? no way, he always tries to do the voice to sound cool but he always gets voicecracks
robin: i am justi- *voice crack* FUCK red robin in the corner: omg i got it on camera
(there’s youtube compilations of damian trying and failing to do the voice and all the comments are like “he’s baby,” “aww tiny boy” and damian dislikes all of their comments)
this is @im-cool-i-pinky-swear​ ‘s beautiful brainchild
2K notes · View notes