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#bros (genderless)
potatomountain · 4 months
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"First Date"- San
♦️Pairing: Gym bro San x reader ♦️genre/au: fluff/comfort/smut? ♦️Word Count: 4.8k ♦️Warnings: if you ignore the smut part at the end its a totally non-gendered first date with San. Otherwise, just a bit of oral at the end enjoy MINORS DNI ♦️AN: what happens when you have San brain rot and someone mentions a prompt- prompt being first date? This. This is what happens ♦️Network: @pirateeznet
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Going to the gym on a regular basis hadn’t been something you thought you would do, and yet here you were, sometimes four or 5 times a week. The kicker? You kept coming back because of the sweet gym bro that had quickly become your gym partner: Choi San.
It started out when you were struggling with one of the machines and he had offered to help you. You had expected him to be crude or touchy like most of the other fellows that had tried to help you at gyms before- and thus the reason this was your third gym membership in 2 months- but he was anything but. Respectful, kept his distance, was actually informative about what you wanted to know and how you wanted to work out as opposed to the way others thought you should.
Since then, your eyes always found him at the gym, even if he was on the other side working on a machine or with weights you didn’t care for. You made a point not to prioritize your little growing crush over what you were really here at the gym for, so you didn’t approach him or make an effort to work out nearby. More often than not you would chastise yourself just for admiring his body and muscles as he worked out, scolding yourself for being a creep.
The relief when he was the first to make a move, asked to exchange numbers so the two of you could meet up at the gym from time to time since he ‘always saw you around and struggling a bit’. You couldn’t admit the reason you struggled was because of him and his pretty dimpled smile and prettier muscles.
It was easy to fall into a friendship with him, into a routine, that your initial crush got buried under genuine respect and fondness of the man. A few months past and you were content with your relationship; at least until he dropped a figurative bomb.
He asked you out on a date.
It had been after one of your gym sessions and the two of you had made small talk about movies, which both of you mentioned excitement for a new one in theaters. You had thought nothing of it, the subject changing into favorite movie types and then other favorites. But before the two of you parted ways to the showers, he had asked. “Tomorrow, do you want to go see that movie together? On a date?”
Of course he had to add the date part, bringing heat to your cheeks as you agreed.
The two of you bickered over text the entirety of the day before your date; he would insist on being a gentleman and pick you up or pay for the whole thing, and you would reject each idea. You were flattered, and you liked that he was sweet like that, but it was your first date and you were adamant about pitching in somewhere.
He relented, agreeing to meet you at the movie theater at five. After the movie was a plan to get something quick to eat and go from there. You were fine with that, insisting you needed to be home by 10 for no reason other than rules you had placed on yourself for the date. Not because you didn’t trust him, but because you didn’t trust yourself. If he gave you an inch, you were sure you would push for a mile, your crush returning with a vengeance.
Months of exercising with him and seeing him at the gym hadn’t prepared you for the sight that greeted you when you walked up to the theater ten till five. You had seen him in shorts, spandex, sweats- all sort of clothes fit for exercising- but the white button up and washed out jeans with his hair combed back? You had to take a moment to admire him all over. 
Smoothing out your own attire, which was also different from your usual workout clothes, you made your way over with a small little wave. His eyes widened when he saw you, heat flooding his cheeks as he looked you over slowly, taking in every aspect of your fit (and you swore your body) before meeting your eyes with an appreciative grin.
“You look beautiful.” San said breathlessly.
Flustered at his compliment you motioned to his own outfit, making a point to look him over just as he had you despite having already done so. “And you look amazing. Attractive. Handsome- all that and more.” 
It was his turn to get flustered, holding out his arm. “Let’s get some snacks for the movie?”
“Just something to drink, theater food is so expensive.” You took his arm with a small thanks, fighting off the heat in your cheeks.
He scoffed, leading you inside. “I can pay.” “And we agree that since you got the tickets, I can pay for my own concession stuff.”
“Hmph, so stubborn, I was hoping you’d let up.”
You smiled up at him, noting the hint of amusement in his features. “Uh-huh, I think you like it when I fight you on things like this.”
He chuckled, leaning closer to you. “How can I not like it when you are feisty?”
San had been respectful at the gym, friendly, and not once actively flirted with you that you knew of- but he most definitely was flirting with you now. 
You couldn’t deny that you loved it, even as you gently pushed him away, both of you grinning. “Catch me sparring with you next time we’re in the gym then.”
“You really want to put yourself in a position where I can pin you down?” Not only was he flirting, but he was bold about it. When you sputtered out no coherent answer, he laughed, walking with you up to the counter. He took advantage of your flustered state to order drinks and popcorn for you both, getting just what you liked and handing over his card.
You were trying, with much difficulty, to erase the image of San pinning you down from your mind, so you had noticed too late what he had done. With a pout you smacked his arm without much force. “I said I could.”
“I know, but consider it an apology.” He handed you your drink, the grin he wore was not at all apologetic and instead had your stomach filled with butterflies.
Your instinct told you not to ask, but curiosity got the better of you. “Apology for what?”
“For the amount of times I’m going to steal your breath away tonight.”
You wished he had been joking yet he was true to his word. You saw a new side to San, subtle flirting mixed with cute habits that had you laughing when you weren’t stuttering for a reply to his bold words. While he made it clear he did want you, that he liked you, not once had it made you uncomfortable or was it disrespectful.
Of course when the movie had started the flirting came to a standstill; both of you sitting somewhere in the middle, huddled together as you ran by theories of the story or made a joke low enough not to bother the other people in the theater. No, he didn’t need to say anything for you to get flustered, close enough to smell the different smells from his hair gel to the little bit of cologne he wore. You could smell the popcorn on his breath whenever he would lean in a bit closer to point out a scene he thought was really cool, eyes wide with enthusiasm as you turned to giggle at just how cute he was.
Despite the growing rage of the butterflies in your stomach, and lower, San was still so easy to talk to, to be close to. You had a good time, even a bit disappointed when the movie came to an end and the theater lights turned back on.
By the absolutely adorable pout on San’s face, he was just as disappointed. You stood up and held out your hand to him, smiling as he looked up. “Can’t expect some shared popcorn to fill me up, so let’s get dinner?” 
With newfound enthusiasm he took your hand and stood up, the small alley leaving very little room between you two. “That’s right, the date isn't over yet.”
You were the first to put some distance between you two, clearing your throat and grabbing your empty soda cup, turning to head out the aisle. “Where do you want to go?”
“There’s a park nearby that has some food trucks usually posted up?”
“You’re not going to try and pay again are you?” You looked back over your shoulder to fix him with a glare which he returned with an innocent smile.
“I have no idea what you mean? Paying for your food? On the date I asked you on? What kind of man does that?” The both of you threw away your garbage on the way out, only then did you pull your hand from his- which you hadn’t realized you still had a hold on to.
Rolling your eyes you clasped your hands behind you to keep them busy, his own hands pushing into his pockets. “And I agreed to the date so it’s a shared effort. Why do you insist on paying for everything San?”
He shrugged, moving ahead to open the door for you. “Because I like you a lot and want to do anything I can for you.” The simple confession had the space between you blazing with tension as you had to stop and simply stare. The longer you did, the more flustered and nervous he became by the second. “Forget I said anything.” He rushed off ahead, head down and clearly sulking as you were still trying to wrap your head around the bursting of emotions in your chest.
“San-” As if a switch flipped in your brain you called out, rushing to catch up. “Wait-” You reached out, grabbing his arm and pulling him to a stop. Fuck he looked so cute pouting like this, like a dejected puppy(or kitty), which made it harder to put up a fight. “I-I suppose you can pay, this time. But I get the next date.”
The way he perked up had your heart fluttering, falling for these adorable habits of his as much as all the other sides you’ve seen. He smiled much like a boy, grabbing your hand from his arm and situating his fingers into the slots. “So there’s a next date?”
You groaned, flustered more than anything as your gaze fell to the concrete beneath your feet. “We have to get through this one first, San.”
With a perk in his step and giddy laughter he gently pulled you along, teasing you for ‘how cute you were being’ which only flustered you more. The flirting was back and your admission seemed to make him even more bold.
The park wasn’t far at all, but it was late and cloudy, the park lights seemed almost eerie in some spots so you opted to make the walk short. The two of you stuck to the main paths, coming across a food truck you liked after about thirty minutes of walking. Just as you promised, you let him pay, but you still grumbled about it. 
He didn’t mind at all, commenting that nothing could ruin his happy mood now. You were tempted to try to, but one look at his bright eyes and you couldn’t gather up the courage to do so. The two of you talked about anything, San finding no end of topics to bring up and indulge in, at times seeming content just walking and holding your hand while you two ate. 
It wasn’t until you both were throwing away your wrappers that his shoulders drooped- the same shoulders you had been eyeing on and off all evening. Despite not wearing a muscle shirt as he often did at the gym, the white button up accentuated them perfectly, his forearms also exposed as he had the sleeves pushed up to his elbows. He was definitely what your friends would call a ‘himbo’ but you decided you loved that.
Just as you had come to expect, San’s pout was in full view, staring down at your joined hands as he gently swung them. “Do you want to keep walking?” Neither of you wanted the date to end, and truthfully you had an hour left to kill before you should head home for your self-imposed deadline.
Yet you didn’t have a chance to answer, the first raindrop hitting your shoulder an indicator that the park was about to be the last place to continue the date. And while playing in the rain could be a fun date, you weren’t dressed for that and neither was that. “Let’s find shelter first?”
“My place isn’t far, you can wait out the rain there?” He offered, hopeful.
You were about to suggest a cafe or something else, something public, when the light sprinkling turned into a soaking downpour. Both of you cursed under your breath, running along the pavement looking for cover. Being in the middle of the park, that didn’t leave many options, taking several minutes until you two ducked under the awning of another food truck. There were other couples and people that had the same idea, leaving barely any room for you and San.
He pulled you under, standing just under the awning, facing you and attempting to cover you from the rain despite getting soaked in the process. The people behind you tried to make room, but San instead let others under the shelter. What you were hoping would be a short burst of rain instead was lasting, leaving you shivering as your wet clothes stuck to you, the wind that occasionally blew the rain under the awning just making things worse. Despite your own cold, San seemed to be bearing the rain and cold unshakably.
Instinctively you pressed close, seeking warmth, which he welcomed by wrapping an arm around you to protect you as much as he could from the rain. “I got you, Jagiya.” His words had heat rushing through you, momentarily forgetting the rain soaked clothes sticking to you as a second skin and the cold they brought with it.
Despite the eternity that it felt like, the rain only lasted a few more moments, dying back down to another sprinkle, but you both were cold and San was even more soaked than you were. You wanted to laugh about the experience, but as you pulled away you got a good view of how his clothes stuck to him- as did he. 
There was nothing humorous in the way his jaw clenched, or the arm he wrapped around you to pull you close. “We’ll go to my place so I can dry your clothes before sending you home.” It wasn’t a request this time, or offer, but a demand- on you saw no reason to dispute. You could see every outline of his torso under his shirt, that alone had your brain in overdrive, but the way his jeans were now sticking to him? Soaked and making noise with every step he took to usher you out of the park?
You couldn’t speak up because if you did, you might comment about the way his jeans specifically stuck to the front of his pelvis and that you were reacting in some type of way. The kind of way you were trying not to act on a first date. So you kept quiet, letting the tension fester between the two of you as he rushed you out of the park.
Another burst of rain had the two of you ducking under another store awning, this time no where near as crowded but he still had you back against the wall, shielding you from the trickles of rain that would whoosh under by the wind with his back. You had put your hands on his chest to keep some distance as his arms caged you in, breathing heavily from what you assumed was because of the rain. One look at his eyes on you though and you knew it was because of you.
You were affecting him as much as he was you, the revelation both freeing and worrying. Freeing to know you weren’t alone in this struggle; yet worrying because if he acted on it, you knew you wouldn’t say no. No, you would welcome it.
And yet here you were, pinned against a random wall as it rained, on the way to his apartment to dry your wet clothes. Such a genius idea for a first date huh? This bout of rain ended quickly, San once again leading you down the street. He was right, his place wasn’t far, as the two of you made it into the building right as the next bout started.
“Well that was an experience.” You tried to break the tension, turning to him with a dry chuckle.
“I should’ve checked the weather- I’m sorry.” San put some distance between you two, keeping his eyes forward as he led you to the elevator, water dripping off both of you and making a decent trail of puddles.
You shook your head, fighting back the chill running through you in the air conditioned building. “I could’ve too, it’s fine San. I had fun.”
He shook his head again, running his hand through his wet hair to get the water to stop dripping into his face. “I uh- you don’t have a cat allergy right?”
The question was sudden, but it was a welcome change of topic to keep your mind off the way the fabric moved sticking to him like this. “No allergy, I adore cats. Unfortunately my building doesn’t allow them so I am cat free. Such a sad existence, truly.” He chuckled, nodding in agreement. “I have a cat, Byeol, she’ll probably be nosey and I will try to keep any and all cat hair off your clothes.” “Really I don’t mind San. I hope she likes me, actually.”
He grinned. “Oh I know she’ll love you.”
The elevator stopped, doors opened and you followed San down the hall a bit more at ease- which definitely had to do with the excitement to see his cat.
His apartment felt very much fitting for him, but you barely noticed as your attention had landed on the car right off the bat. She demanded his attention first, but as he left to grab you some clothes, Byeol turned her attention to you. Despite being wet, she rubbed up against your leg, purring.
San came back with shorts and a hoodie. “You can change in the bathroom, there is a small dryer in there you can just throw your clothes into.” 
You took them, following his finger towards the correct door after pulling off your soaking shoes. Alone in his bathroom the tension was back in your chest, staring down at the hoodie that very clearly smelled like him. Peeling your clothes off you realized just how cold you were, even once your clothes were thrown in the little dryer and you were enveloped in his scent and clothes you were still shivering.
Stepping out with your arms wrapped around yourself, you called out for him. “San?”
He looked up from the couch, freshly changed into gray sweats and a loose fitting tank top, Byeol on his lap purring away. “They fit okay?” Considering how broad his shoulders were, the sweater hung quite a bit but it was comfortable.
“Yeah. How long will that take?” You motioned back to the bathroom as you made your way over to the couch. 
He shrugged, leaning back into the couch and leisurely petting the cat. “About half an hour? Once it’s dry I’ll take you home.”
You shook your head, sitting on the opposite end of the couch. “No, that's okay, I’ll get an uber. You’re already home; I don't want to make you go back out.”
“I’m offering.” He moved Byeol aside who whined in protest as he got up, heading towards what you assumed was his bedroom. “Plus I’ll know you got home safely.” He disappeared into the room.
“I can text you-”
“Nope, I’m driving.” He broke off your protest, bringing a blanket over to you. “I don’t want to think about you leaving me just yet, especially when you look so fucking cute in my hoodie.” Flustered you didn’t fight him on it any more, instead watching with confusion as he literally tucked the blanket around you quite snuggly. “In fact- I’m tempted to have you take it.”
“But it’s yours-” You pulled the blanket up to your chin, meeting his eyes as he had yet to pull away, hands on the back of the couch on either side of you. “San?”
His eyes flickered down to your lips, darkening with thoughts that were reflected in your own mind. “May I kiss you?”
You nodded, his lips pressing against yours before you could vocalize the answer. With your arms tucked under the blanket you could only kiss him back, tilting your head into the kiss that he deepened after the first few strokes.
All your sexual tension from the date, from the whole time you had known him, came crashing into you like a gut punch. San seemed to sense it, or perhaps he was just as frustrated, leaning into you more as his hands found your sides.
Quickly the kiss was getting out of hand, your mouth opening for his tongue the second he asked for entrance, a groan leaving him and hitting you right in the core. Reluctantly, and with much difficulty, you pulled away panting. “San I- I really really like you.”
“Mmm I like you too. A lot, yet I hear a but?” He pressed his forehead against yours, eyes shut as he just seemed to be soaking up your presence.
“I uh- I don’t want to go too far, not on the first date. Not before we-”
He just nodded, pulling away after pressing a kiss to your cheek. “I understand, you have a way you like to do things, especially new things. I won’t do anything you won’t want, and not without asking permission first.” He stood up, turning to look for the remote. “How about you pick something to watch and I grab you something to drink?”
Moments later there was some random show on the tv you had put on to fill the silence that you were trying to focus on: trying because San’s focus was you.
He was more and more obvious about it as time went on, taking in the sight of you huddled in his hoodie and blanket on his couch, petting his cat- it was heartachingly domestic. You were so aware of his eyes on you it was hard to relax, in fact it sizzled the already heavy sexual tension between the two of you even more. 
So when he called out your name, you snapped back a ‘what?’
“I want to be your official boyfriend. Please?”
You paused the show, turning to him slowly as you tried to process his words. “Now is a weird time to ask, don't you think?”
“Maybe, but with the things in my head that I want to do with you, to you, I can’t unless you’re officially mine. So-?” He leaned forward, a devilish yet somehow innocent look on his face.
“I- well I want you to be my boyfriend too but I-”
“Great, it's settled!” He surged forward, pulling you closer at the same time he tossed the blanket aside. “I want to kiss you more.”
“San-” Reluctantly you placed your hands on his shoulders, only for him to pout.
“Please? I wanted to kiss you the whole date- no, even before then. I have a lot of time to make up for, you know.” “But you said you wanted to do a lot of things- how do I know you won’t get carried away huh?” Despite your protests you knew your resolve was weakening, really wanting to give in.
He knew it too, turning his head to place a kiss to the back of your hand. “Then we’ll set some rules. Only until your clothes are done do I get to annnd, hm, I only get to use my mouth to touch you?”
You hesitated, glancing at your phone charging on the end table to see the time. It was only nine, the dryer had maybe ten more minutes or so, just how much can he do with his mouth in that short amount of time?
Moments after agreeing, you realized he could do a lot in ten minutes. It was still a haze how you had gone from just kissing him to his head now between your bare legs, eating you out with enough vigor that you swore this was his favorite meal. Hand’s in his hair, you were torn between pushing him away and pulling him close, each flick of his tongue sending jolts up your spine.
He looked as his lips attached around your nub, sucking enough to pull a whine out of you. You were holding back and had a sneaking suspicion he knew that. Pulling away just enough, he licked a fat stripe over your lips, getting a good taste of your slick. “Come on Baby, no need to be shy now, I’m just using my mouth.”
You whined, your whole body warm from the different sensations he made you feel. “Not only do you have a cute side but a demon side too? Fuck I definitely didn’t know what I was signing up for.” He chuckled, breath hot against your core. “That’s true, I’ve barely shown you what I can do, you're in for so many surprises.” The idea of it excited you, made you even more eager for this relationship and where it would take- and not just because his tongue felt fucking amazing on you.
Still, you were battling with yourself about this whole thing on the first date, only to squeak out when you were pulled suddenly to the edge of the couch, your legs hooked over his broad shoulders as he buried himself deeper into you. He wasn’t just using his mouth now, his nose brushing against your nub while this tongue worked furiously, hands on your hips to hold you in place. 
You weren’t sure what did it, his nose, tongue, or just the sight of him moaning against your cunt, but your climax hit unexpectedly.
That should been enough, just one time, but San took to his word and he kept going until you were moaning and whimpering and fucking yourself on his tongue as much as he was fucking you with it. He let you ride out not just that first orgasm, but two more until your legs were shaking and half his face was soaked with your cum. 
It wasn’t until you pushed at his head, over stimmed and legs shaking, did he pull away. Licking his lips he looked up at you with nothing but desire and affection. “Well I guess I broke the rules.”
Panting you stared bewildered as he sat back on the floor, trying to bring your brain back from mush. “You did?”
“Mhmm. I used my nose, and held you down. Plus the dryer buzzed during the second time you came so- ow! I’m sorry.” He whined, rubbing his shoulder where you had kicked him. “When I finally got you moaning I really did get carried away.” “I told you that you would!” Huffing, you pushed yourself up, still quite flustered. You weren’t at all upset he kept going, nor that it had escalated as it did.
San stood up to help you, an obvious wet spot in his sweats that only flustered you more. “Did you… did you cum? Untouched?”
Now he was flustered, looking away sheepishly. “Yeah, I did.”
Byeol’s soft meow from the other end of the couch pulled you both the rest of the way out of your bubble, jolting San into action. There wasn’t really any more tension as he cleaned you up and let you go change, your clothes still a bit damp but enough to get you home. San insisted you wear his hoodie, pulling it back on you after he had changed and grabbed his keys.
He was an attentive driver, taking your directions to your place and parking as close as he could to the building. He offered to walk you to your door but you insisted on at least doing that. So instead he stole a kiss, smiling over at you before you left the car. “The second date, I’ll only use my hands.” 
Flustered, you huffed and grumbled out before making your way to the door. Looking back, he was still waiting for you, rolling the window down, you managed to see his wink before you disappeared into your apartment complex.
You were definitely looking forward to the second date.
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Taglist: @justhere4kpop  /  @candypop1611  /  @spooo00oky @sanniessnails / @gugggu6gvai / @starillusion13 / @tunaasan /
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ngl i do sometimes consider changing my Azem's name to Psyche bc she's thematically more inline w my Azem (goes on big adventures, has fairy wings, etc.)
but im hesitant to share this thought w ppl bc im worried the reaction to it will unanimously be "yeah u should totally change ur Azem's name!!!" bc im well aware of the stink around being named Persephone. i wont elaborate bc im sure we all kno, but as someone who literally has gone by Persephone irl since 5th grade (it was basically my trans/genderless name before i knew what trans was) it's like...idk. really personal to me? and to hear ppl adamently call Azems named Persephone "bad" bc XYZ, it's like. i dunno 🤷🏻‍♂️
i have Feelings on this but i dont kno how to articulate. if there wasnt a discourse about it, maybe it wouldnt feel so weird
i like Psyche as a name, but i dont wanna feel like the fandom is pushing me into changing it bc *gestures vaguly*
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vampyrluver · 11 months
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i forget tht irl im viewed as a girl, nd not as a genderless epic sexy vampire creature thing
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Problems with being Californian is that I keep forgetting "dude" and "guy" are masculine terms bc i use them for literally anyone and anything.
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noxtivagus · 1 year
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yeah i'm rlly gna play a lot of ffxiv when i can again >:3
#🌙.rambles#one day i really hope i'll finally have a grp of 8 friends like yk around my age n all so#we can raid together at our own pace 🥺🫶🏼#i'll fix stuff w the fc when i can n then#i rlly. look forward to the alliance raids#'dedicated to moonlight' from what i've heard of it i think it'll become one of my favorite songs#lyrics. context. menphina deity of the moon n love <3 uwahh she's so me the song's gna resonate w me a lot for sure#i don't know anything about the song itself tho w its melody n all#from what i. hmmm. i took some small glances at the lyrics bcs my curiosity was killing me n#it has a lot of themes i love !!!! hehe i'm really excited#n then msq means more zero content. months ago she. yeah srs became one of my favs immediately#n then fr she was made w a genderless concept 🥹🫶🏼 i love love love love zero so much#HFKSHFKSK THE WAY SHE TIPS HER HAT..... WAHH N THEN#no wait if i'll ramble abt this more i'm gna get carried away bcs i really Really like zero.#bro the armor n the scythe n her love for apples n then#zero my beloved 🥹 <3#i love pandaemonium. esp the ost 'scream' it's so fucking good#but. eden. is very special to me. ff8 references n ryne n gaia#pls ryne n gaia w the rinoa n squall parallels. arguably the Most romantic couple in the final fantasy series.#speaking of rinoa n squall i want to play ffviii so badly i think it'll be my fav? other than ffxiv. but hmm w the themes i think it#resonates w me more at least. like w the time n destiny stuff n rinoa's literally my type#rinoa w the wings rinoa w the pet rinoa w the flowers rinoa w blue ><#music too there's: waltz for the moon / julia / don't be afraid / the extreme / blue fields / ami / tears of the moon / love grows / n more#NO WAIT BACK TO RYNE N GAIA 😭 gaia's basically destined ig w yk that guy who's other name is the same as one of my other names too >.>#but yk. ryne n gaia they. actually nah no spoilers but i love them so much they're so gay#ah. eden tier w some of my fav osts too. return to oblivion & promises to keep#treasured memory too !!!! & not to mention yk eden's promise was my introduction to savage. endgame#nier raids were like the step before raiding so. that also has an extra personal meaning factor to me hehe#wait it's 5 n i haven't started anything yet still on the infographic .#i can't help but be stressed by a lot of things but these little moments where i can just write n think to myself mean so much to me
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inquisitiveheretic · 2 years
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anklepants just one of the guys is literally my middle school experience. why don’t u like me im just one of the guys ... so fucking true
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cryptidofthekeys · 2 years
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i also wonder
whose tried to set the smiski on fire
bc uh on the warning label it says very specifically do NOT get around open flames which i mean,, yeah that should be obvious without the warning label
but i wonder...
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allegaeon · 2 years
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terrifying n intimidating that some of you are hot and/or cute. thanks i guess whatever is wrong w you makes u even sexier
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dhampir-dyke · 9 months
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I swear to god if one more man blatantly gawks at my ass I'm going to go postal
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w0rped-moss · 3 months
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HALLOWNEST DASHBOARD SIMULATOR
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🪡needlenote Follow
my dad and my stepmom were really accepting when I came out as a she/her but biggest issue is that they keep calling me the gendered child because all my siblings are genderless
🥬mossling8234 Follow
op your parents literally said you have blue setae and pronouns
🪡needlenote Follow
THEY LITERALLY SAID I HAVE BLUE SETAE AND PRONOUNS I HATE THIS HOUSE
(512 notes)
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🐞emilitaimmortilita Follow
rip to everyone who died in the infection but I’m different
⚔️xerotohero Follow
I’m fighting the infection and I haven’t gotten infected yet. I think the king is lying to us
🔘xerotohero-deactivated
I’m gonna kill the king
(1,032 notes)
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🐜royalretainer138 Follow
I was in a conference today explaining the plague and what we could do to stop it and without thinking I said “the wyrm only knows what to do now” to his majesty’s face and he just looked at me in confusion and I thought I was gonna get fired or executed or something but he just replied with “why the fuck do you think I know?”
🐌immortalsnail Follow
posts that have 10k notes. to me
🐜royalretainer138 Follow
YOU CANT DO THOS TO ME
(19,248 notes)
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🪰grubmimicthorax Follow
please come closer I’m a normal grub let me out of my jar I won’t bites you bites you bites you bites you bites you
(17 notes)
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🔘palekingofficial-deactivated
born to be a mad scientist forced to be the god/king of hallownest
(93,142 notes)
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💀hollowedoutknight Follow
👻littleghost Follow
💀hollowedoutknight Follow
🪡needlenote Follow
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(208 notes)
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🔥notringmastergrimm Follow
anyone want to babysit my kid. I don’t pay anything but you do get to kill me at the end.
(52 notes)
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🖌paintmaster Follow
reminder that you are NOT obligated to like your siblings! siblings are nothing. wanna know what matters. gay sex
🗡nailsmith-formerly Follow
and art
🖌paintmaster Follow
gay sex is art. to me Follow
🗡nailsmith-formerly Follow
bro…
(310 notes)
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🐛masterwarriorzote Follow
hm. it is suspicious that @/palekingofficial has been gone for a long time. it seems the coward has changed his account. I suspect that @/littleghost is actually @/palekingofficial simply trying to shirk his duties
🪡needlenote Follow
are you on drugs or are you just an idiot
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thalwhore · 2 years
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Male Elder Scrolls fans stop using he/him for every daederic prince challenge.
Yes I KNOW they're called princes, but I know that YOU know that some of them manifest femeninely more often than not so either start calling Nocturnal, Mephala, Azura, etc by she/her or unpack the reason why you won't even respect the pronouns of a fictional god.
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skeletonsinboth · 4 months
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No bc thirteen/chibnall was always SOOO weird with ~oooh is the doctor Gay™??? The doctor is a little Gay™ sometimes....... more Gay™ other times....... but is she.... Gay™??????? We may never know......~ and it always bugged me so much bc BRO SHE'S A GENDERLESS SEXUALITYLESS ALIEN!!!! why are we confining her to our stupid little tiny binary human minds????? And then Russell T Davies came back and said the Doctor is male and female and neither and more and oh is Isaac Newton hot??? Yes of course he is. immediately within two episodes like it's the most normal thing in the world because IT IS!!! HES THE DOCTOR!!!! HES SO BACK!!!!!
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honeyed-disgraceful · 2 years
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My coworkers and I being pressed at people when they tell us some (predesigned, from the freezers) cake decorations are "too feminine" or "too masculine" and want us to change them. We've started saying "gender reassignment" when one of us has to change them lmao.
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cantheykillmacbeth · 7 months
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Could a Yoshi kill Macbeth?
Yes, the Yoshi(e)s from the Super Mario franchise could kill Macbeth!
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All Yoshi(e)s are shown to be capable of laying eggs, and while often these eggs are used for defensive, offensive, or supportive abilities, some of these eggs have been shown to hatch into Baby Yoshi(e)s, which qualifies the species for the Unconventional Birth Clause!
As for the other two clauses, the gender structure of the Yoshi species varies widely from source to source. For example, the Japanese description on Yoshi's trophy in Super Smash Bros. Melee explains that Yoshi(e)s are neither male nor female, while the Paper Mario games feature a Yoshi referring to "[his] son," and another referring to "[his] lovely wife." Even characters within the Smash Bros. series express confusion at Yoshi's egg-laying capabilities (namely Solid Snake and Viridi, who are corrected by Otacon and Palutena respectively), so this is clearly a topic of debate.
For now, we'll assume that all Yoshi(e)s are biologically genderless at birth, but that their culture has equivalents of males and females that an individual may choose from if they so please. In this version of the explanation, whether or not a Yoshi applies for the Gender Clause or Birth Parent Clause is still a case-by-case basis.
Thank you for your submission!
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To all the manly, alpha gym-bros out there who whine about Baldur's Gate being 'gay':
Have you never played DnD before? It's queer af! Wizards polymorphing into vermin to squeeze through cracks in a wall, bards screwing anything with (or without) a heartbeat, playing as a genderless creature who's just 'a little guy'. And then, once in a while, the DM hits you with a unexpected canon lore titbit like "that wizard who's the most powerful person in all the realms? Yeah, that guy. He lived as a woman for decades because he felt like it."
My men, my guy, my dude: DnD is fucking queer, and by complaining about it, you out yourself as someone who's never played DnD before. And if you did and none of all that crazy shit has happened to your party, then, you experienced the lamest session there can be. My condolence for being boring and having boring friends, I hope you get better soon.
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stellari-s · 17 days
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twst 30 day challenge: day 30
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what's your hottest twst take?
final one! so i've got two hot takes, and the first one is this: i'm completely fine with twst not having any romance or not being more "otome-like" (...than it may already be on some level lmao well yuu is genderless, but still). i'm perfectly content with yuu being everyone's therapist friend, or just enjoy characters' dynamics with each other as they are or as they could be.
and second hot take is...
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i guess when it comes to the "frying pan sizzling" hot take, talking about my take on kalim and jamil dynamic. but first of all, to be completely frank, i don't think it's fair to just coin them as "master and servant" and be done with it. i mean, yes, they are that, but that statement also needs an asterisk, especially looking through events of books 5, 6 and events (like beanfest).
to put it simply, their relationship is an absolute mess and ten, maybe twenty, can of worms with an ocean of emotional baggage and a sea of trauma.
kalim and jamil are very much like master and servant within the realm of book 4; this is explicitly stated in the japanese version. and if you told me book 4 was the end of the main story period, their relationship probably wouldn't have been as messy. but at the same time even within book 4, we see kalim clumsily trying to make jamil happy as a friend, finding ways to reduce his workload. he clearly very deeply cares for jamil.
that, and... he's also kind of overly dependent on jamil. like, to a concerning degree, almost. but this may partly be because of jamil and his efforts to protect kalim, effectively making it so kalim can't do a lot of things on his own. so, like, jamil's motivations, while they are valid, had shaped a lot of kalim's character to the way he is. and this can be said conversely, too. kalim had dragged jamil along to many of his whims, but i believe it's been shown that jamil had gained an interest in dancing and parrots from none other than kalim. who knows if he would have gained an interest otherwise; he probably wouldn't have found much free time to delve into it himself.
and also, another thing is that jamil held himself back so kalim could appear to be above him. then we see in book 5 that he has never experienced the frustration before. like, whether he deserved it or not, he has always been given the top place because jamil placed himself lower than kalim. so overall, i think it's important kalim has a chance to feel that frustration, which is also proof that jamil no longer holds himself back. that is a big and needed step up from book 4.
and to top it off, bro even uses kalim shamelessly to his advantage in the beanfest event, and in book 6, we see that he (1) says something along the lines of "i never thought i'd be relieved to see your face" and (2) has kalim help him with stuff, which was like unheard of before. like, i know this seems small, and jamil just gave him one task, but that's still a huge step!
at the end of the day, when they all graduate, their dynamic may revert back to the way it was before as if their time at school never existed. since they are on school grounds, a lot of things can escape the eyes of both families, and so jamil and kalim are able to treat each other more as equals. fundamentally speaking, it would not be wrong to say they are master and servant. however, i think even though he probably wants to hate kalim and still holds some annoyance that he has to cover so many bases, jamil still holds some level of affection?? toward him. it's just... a lot more subtle. jamil likely understands that it's not really kalim's fault that jamil is in the situation he is in and that kalim wants to help jamil. but he also knows the problem is so deep-rooted that kalim wouldn't be able to solve it himself in any short amount of time, unfortunately. ☁️
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