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#broken childhood
raven-cat35 · 1 year
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Forget about oscars 2023 and better watch the documentary "A house made of splinters".
The history of an orphanage in currently occupied Lysychansk. At the time of filming, it was separated from the front line by only 20 kilometers.
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traumareaction · 3 months
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Fragments
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Family of Strangers
yelled at for the contents of the cupboard in which i played no hand
only eat outside these tan walls; yet i am the all consuming traitor
holidays with family? merriment? not here, and this is my family’s family— not my nuclear one
food is expensive. i am an additional expense. i am their all consuming burden;
one of my parents is dead, the other is gone. he calls every two years.
no mom
no dad
my sister is a ghost; she has been for nearly a decade
we speak but she holds the hands of a life i have long forgotten; the rhythm of my old life with my real family is faint.
i live here now with my family’s family. mine is so scattered not even the earth could hold them together
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morrokei · 1 month
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outing myself as a filthy charizard enjoyer 🙏
doodles b4 i attempt to be unconscious
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alilaro · 4 months
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they look fucking DISGUSTING. i am in love with them
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Still obsessed with @starry-bi-sky ‘s Childhood Friends au so here’s a quick ghost design I did for Danny and Jason as teens.
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starry-bi-sky · 3 months
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ive been hesitating to ask this bc youve been on a roll with the clone^2au (which i am frothing over) but could i poke you for some childhood friend au? bc GOD i wanna see how danny reacts to reuniting w jason or how the rest of the batfam react to learning jason never told danny of his resurrection or wondering if dannys gonna put jokers dead body on a display/offering to jasons grave. i havent been normal about this since i first read it and was wondering. thank you for your writing.
RAAAAHHHH DON'T BE HESITANT I AM JUST AS FERAL OVER MY CHILDHOOD FRIENDS AU AS I AM WITH CLONE^2 I AM DELIGHTED BY THIS. Like.,,,, i literally love them,,, so much. I can't listen to The Crane Wives without thinking of them.
(which is my fault - the ao3 fic of them has literally only crane wives lyrics for each chapter title and summary (posted AND the ones not written) so of course im gonna associate with them.)
(if you wanna listen to some of their songs while thinking of cfau here are my recommendations: "Once & for All", "Here I Am", "Hollow Moon" is a Danny AND Jason song to me, this would be my go-to song for an animatic of CFAU if i had the skills for it. "Tongues and Teeth", "Curses" and "take me to war" is a heavy cfau danny song to me, and of course, "the moon will sing")
Like they're BEST friends dude, they're two sides of the same coin and when they were kids they would do this thing where their 'fingers crossed'/'double-crossed' was them hooking their index fingers in the fingers crossed gesture.
and i'm actually currently rewriting my original post into a more fic-like format, and when I'm done I'll post it on here under the cfau tag - with the original post still in tact. But its,,, gonna be so long dude,,,, the original behemoth was just over 9000 words,,, and I've written 3k words already of the new one and we haven't even reached Jason and Danny reuniting at the gala yet,,, i need to get back to that,,,
and then to answer your questions!! god im almost hesitant to answer because i dont wanna spoil the little fic i had planned for it but also like,, its not like im gonna spoil everything, right? and answering the questions isnt the same as writing the scene down so!!
i love danny and jason's reuniting, like i've thought about it SO much and I've thought about it happening after Danny kills the Joker. I know the reveal could have been before that, and it could have been equally just as dramatic but like??? Thematically, doing it after danny kills the joker is SO good. To me at least.
Because like?? Jason's been in somewhat denial about danny's plan to kill the joker for months. ever since danny told him that he wanted to at the gala. And from Jason's pov its not even technically a plan. He sees his best friend for the first time after five years and his best friend still isn't over his death. He hasn't stepped foot in Gotham since his funeral and now suddenly he's here.
And he's still so full of grief over his death that he tells a masked vigilante that he's going to kill the guy that did it, who lives in said masked vigilante's city. And danny's got that look in his eyes that Jason knows so well that means he's being serious. And yet he still doesn't know if he should believe him or not.
And then he does. Danny kills him. And Jason can't fucking believe it. And when he goes and sees Danny, Danny's hands are still covered in blood. And that reunion? God like a fucking firework show. Danny's so fucking angry, and pissed, and hurt, and so goddamn overjoyed that he's alive and here that he sends them both to the ground, and if he doesn't calm down he's gonna take out the power in a five block radius.
there's just so, so much yelling on Danny's end. And then so much crying, first from Danny and then them both. because god, you're alive. you're here. i've missed you so much. i'm never letting you out of my sights again.
and Joker's death! God I don't want to actually say too much about that, but the way I have it set up thematically makes me actually not want danny to take any part of the joker with him as an offering. and he may actually forego that particular ghost etiquette and offer something else as an offering to Jason in substitute to not bringing him the Joker's heart/head/ritualistic body part.
Because you know what the last thing a man whose been spending the last two decades of his life building himself up to be larger than life would want? A death that's unremarkable. :) and that's all i'll put on the matter for now.
and the batfam!! they technically already know that jason hasn't told danny he was resurrected, and plenty of them have mixed feelings on them. largely bruce and dick i think, considering they saw firsthand how close jason and danny were when they were kids.
Dick was honestly surprised at first when he found out that Jason hadn't told Danny he was alive - and on one hand he understands the reasoning for it, and on the other hand he isn't sure if it was such a good idea. Especially after he sees Danny again after he arrives back in Gotham and sees just how badly Jason's death was still affecting him. But it's not like he's going to try and convince Jason to tell him - he can make his own choices, even if Dick has questions about them.
Bruce has much the same thoughts as Dick, so there's not really much to add here other than he might bring it up once or twice to Jason like, vaguely. And then immediately drops it when Jason shuts him down. He might actually somewhat...?? prefer that Jason hasn't told Danny because that raises a lot of questions and could jeopardize their identities. However, again, Jason can make his own choices and there's not much Bruce can do about it other than disapprove from afar.
Tim who knew of Danny from stalking the Wayne family shares similars sentiments of being surprised that Jason didn't tell Danny, but again, yeah, understands the thought process to some extent. Doesn't bring it up ever.
Everyone else who hadn't seen firsthand how close Danny and Jason are don't really have much opinion on it -- Jason didn't tell his best friend he was alive, great, he also didn't tell them either so it's not like its that much of a surprise. It would've been more of a surprise to them if Jason had told Danny before he told Bruce and co. Damian may make a comment or two about Jason not telling Danny, but its not about how he can't believe he didn't tell him or anything like it.
#dpxdc#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#danny fenton is not the ghost king#cfau#childhood friends au#danny and jason are such best friends i love them so much#BUT YEAH ASK ME MORE QUESTIONS ABOUT CFAU I'LL SCREAM#AND THEN TRY AND ANSWER THEM TO MY BEST ABILITY#like i could go on RANTS almost SPECIFICALLY about rath (dan) and then about jason and danny#and their friendship like i've thought about this au with a combined soulmate au and immediately hated the idea because no!#no! i can't call them soulmates. i can't it doesnt fit. their bond goes DEEPER than that. its *better* than that#this wasn't written in the stars it was forged in the back alley streets of gotham with all the broken glass under their feet#and the smell of nicotine weaving itself into the fabrics of their shirts. their souls aren't intertwined because the universe said so#they're two balls of yarn tangled together because they batted it at each other and decided to play cats cradle. and then never bothered#to untangle the string from one another. you'll never know where one ends and the other begins#i actually have a cfau miscellaneous facts post in my drafts that i need to finish too and i might do that today because of this ask <33#the fastest way to starry's heart is through her ask box#asking me questions about my aus is the fastest way to make me make more content about them ajshld#see: clone^2 (i've been coasting off the fanart i got from them for the last two days) and now this#i need to stop more before i start waxing more poetic about jason and danny's bond with one another.#also also jason is equally as feral about danny as danny is about him (see: him plotting joker's demise since he was 14) its just not#showing as much since a lot of this is from danny's pov. like dw this isn't one-sided obsession its mutual.#see: jason seeing danny's scars and immediately wanting to find out who caused it and getting murderously angry about it#its not a starry post unless its long#idk maybe im just obsessed with the idea that relationships are chosen and forged with time and that the bonds we have arent because they#were predetermined but because we made them to be. Like how clone^2 said 'i choose to be brothers' and how danny and jason said#'i choose you. i will always choose you. you're my other half. the one who watches my back. i choose you.'
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We have been down together in my sleep.
Unbuckling helms, fisting each other's throat,
And wak'd half dead with nothing.
@f1blrcreatorsfest -> week 3: horror
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thebluespacecow · 5 months
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Though about my fake little people a bit too long, now i feel an unending ache in my bones, the weight on my lungs, a pit in my stomach
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y-rhywbeth2 · 3 months
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Ketheric selling himself to Myrkul to bring Isobel back, because he loves his child.
Durge and Orin, whose whole lives revolve around the child sacrificing themselves for the parent being ???
And Gortash's inner child is going "sounds fake, but ok." I mean, he presumably knows that many parents don't sell their kids to the Hells to save their own skin, but still.
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cookinguptales · 4 months
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Do me a favor, okay? Next time you have a chance, close your eyes for a minute and take a deep breath and imagine someone loving you.
Imagine someone who gets excited just thinking about you. Imagine someone who loves the things you say and do and who genuinely enjoys spending time with you. Imagine someone who feels lucky every moment they get to be around you.
It can be a real person or someone you just made up. You can imagine them praising you or laughing with you or touching you or whatever love means to you. It can be romantic or otherwise. Take your pick.
And if you had a hard time doing it?
Do it again. And again. And again.
I read once that it’s important for us to visualize being loved. That your brain needs to be trained like a muscle, and like a muscle, it can become weak from disuse. Your brain can only do the things that you practice doing, and if you never, ever visualize someone loving you, it becomes difficult to even imagine someone loving you. You get stuck in a rut. And once it’s impossible to imagine someone loving you, it becomes impossible to believe you will ever be loved.
I think… sometimes it can become easy to stop believing that we’re worthy of love. And I think sometimes we have this fantasy of someone making us believe that we’re worthy of it again. Or that somehow we’ll just — earn it, one day. Being worthy of love and desire, respect and affection.
But I think the truth is that we can only start believing that we’re worthy of love if we’re capable of imagining it. And it becomes much, much easier to imagine it if you practice doing so.
It may feel awkward at first. Embarrassing. Silly. Maybe even painful. But think about it like this, maybe: your first day in a dance class, you’ll fall. You’ll look ridiculous. It’ll feel like your body will never be able to do this fluidly. But by the end of the class, you’ll be able to move in a whole new way. Maybe not perfectly, but… better, y’know?
Learn to waltz with your own mind, and try not to cringe too hard at your first awkward movements. Start small and work your way up if you have to. Someone liking you, then someone liking your conversations, then someone liking your presence, then someone purposefully seeking you out. Someone putting time aside for you. Someone thinking about you when you’re not there. Someone being with you because there’s nowhere they’d rather be.
It may feel self-indulgent, but… I mean, we all deserve to be indulged sometimes. And we all deserve to feel worthy of love.
So… indulge yourself. Take a moment and have a silly little fantasy. Get into the habit of imagining love, and imagining it for the you that exists right now, not the you that you wish you were.
Learn to speak the language of love as it applies to you, even if you think that it doesn’t, and one day you’ll realize how to use those syllables to say your own name.
It’ll come one day. In the meantime, let’s learn to dance together, okay?
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blushweddinggowns · 11 months
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When Steve’s mom forced him to get a tutor for biology, he was not happy.  Frankly, he was pissed. Sure he was sitting on a solid D- and yeah he wasn’t exactly known for his academic prowess, but it still sucked. He didn’t have time for tutoring. He had things to do, especially when it came to Sundays. It was one of only two days a week when Steve got Eddie all to himself, no band practice, no sports, no Hellfire, just the two of them. 
But Eddie, the goddamn hypocrite was actually on his mom’s side.
“I’m just saying that it would help with the college thing.” He said, rolling his eyes at the way Steve glared at him. Maybe it would have been more intimidating if he wasn’t currently straddling his lap and playing with a piece of Eddie’s hair, but Steve was too comfortable to move, even if he was pissy. 
“Y’know, there’s a solid chance nothing I do will be good enough for a college.”
“Well then at least we can say you tried, can't we?"
“I’m just saying, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment if you think I’m just going to start academically succeeding out of nowhere. My dumbass won’t be our ticket out of here,”  Steve sighed, ignoring the way Eddie’s eyes softened at his words. He was staring downward, eyes focused on a suddenly interesting bleach stain on Eddie’s shirt. 
"You’re not stupid Stevie."
And as sweet as that was, it wasn’t true. He was a straight C- student on a good year, and that took effort. And yeah, the two of them may be in the same ballpark with their grades, but it was different. Eddie was actually smart, just not when it came to people outside of Wayne and Steve telling him what to do. He taught himself how to draw, how to write, Jesus, he basically taught himself how to read, all while living in a house from hell for his formative years. He didn’t know what it was like to be truly dumb. He missed 2⁄3 of middle school and he was still doing better in English than Steve was. 
Steve could feel his eyes start to get wet as he sniffed, instantly annoyed at himself for getting emotional over something so stupid. But at least it fits the profile, stupid people do stupid things. 
He didn’t fight it when Eddie hooked a finger under his chin, forcing him to look up at him. He kissed him first, two light pecks to his lips before mumbling against his mouth, “I could never be disappointed in you. You could drop out tomorrow and I’d still love you as much as I do now.”
Steve couldn’t help but smile a little at that, “Yeah?”
“You know I would. And well…in all honesty babe I always thought drug price inflation was going to be our ticket out of here. I have been overcharging ninth graders for like, a year and a half now.”
Steve smacked his lightly in the chest for that, even if it made him laugh, “Ass. If you can’t trust your local drug dealer then who can you trust?”
“Not my fault I have a family to take care of,” Eddie grinned, swooping in for another kiss, "But seriously baby you're not stupid."
Steve opened his mouth to argue but Eddie slapped a hand over it before he had a chance, “And I know you don’t want to hear it but you’re not. Who was the one to find out that Rick was shortchanging me?”
Steve rolled his eyes. That didn’t even count. He was just the first one to notice that the numbers Rick had written didn’t match up with what the scale said, and the first one to threaten him over it. Eddie would have figured it out eventually. 
But he let it go, mumbling beneath his hand,  “I did.”
“And who saved us fifty bucks in rent after threatening the landlord with a lawsuit?”
That…that shouldn’t have counted either. Steve had been on a cleaning kick that day and just happened to stumble across an old copy of their lease. And he only read through it because he was bored waiting for Eddie to come home. And the only reason he knew there were violations was because he spent nearly 80 percent of his time there, and yeah maybe he was good at threatening people with legal jargon, but that was only because he retained shit he’d heard from his dad.
“I did but-”
“But nothing,” Eddie interrupted, “Because you were also the guy who actually paid attention during CPR class and saved that lady from drowning sophomore year. And you’re managing to scam your parents into giving you money while banging gay trailer trash. If that’s not smart, I don’t know what is. So I think that you're more than capable of passing a biology midterm. And even if you're not it won’t erase all of the other things you’ve done. Understand?”
Steve blushed, a confusing mix of annoyed and pleased at the praise. Part of him still wanted to fight him, even if everything he said was technically true. But a bigger part wanted to get back to kissing him, and he knew Eddie wouldn’t let it go without him conceding at least a little. 
“I understand,” Steve sighed, “But if I’m a big fat failure at this you’re still contractually obligated to love me.”
He wrapped his arms around Eddie’s neck, eyes darting to his lips every few seconds while Eddie chuckled, “Baby, you could try to kill me and I’d still love you.”
Steve leaned back in, tired of waiting. He licked over Eddie’s lips, smiling when he obediently opened his mouth so he could slip his tongue inside. Besides, maybe he was right, maybe Steve could handle it, but it didn’t matter either way. As long as Eddie loved him, he’d be fine. 
And that’s how Steve found himself being shaken awake by Eddie on a Sunday for freaking studying. Yeah the make-out session from last week had been pretty convincing but it was a whole different thing in the light of day. 
He groaned at the sound of Eddie’s voice, purposefully loud as he sang out, “Time to wake up sunshine! You got some learning to do!”
Steve buried his face in his pillow, groaning again when Eddie took that as an invite to sit on him. He leaned over, whispering in his ear, “If you wake up now I’ll make it worth your while.”
Steve giggled, immediately charmed by the asshole who was already starting to tickle his sides, “What, like you did last night? How are you going to top that?”
Eddie whispered a few more things in his ear, some very interesting things that suddenly left certain parts of Steve very much awake. He pushed Eddie off of him before jumping out of bed, scrambling to put on the loosest pair of sweats he owned while Eddie laughed behind him. 
They went downstairs together, and somehow Steve only managed to embarrass himself twice during the whole interaction. It helped that Nancy ended up being  one of the most patient people on the planet, always willing to re-explain the things that Steve didn’t get on the first try. It helped even more knowing that Eddie was in the other room, like his presence alone was his own personal security blanket, even if all he was doing was snoring on the couch. 
The whole thing wasn’t nearly as bad as Steve had been expecting. He had kind of thought that the daughter of someone who could stand to be friends with his mom would be…well a bitch. But Nancy was nothing like that. She was straightforward and to the point, but also kind with 0 condescension to Steve’s lack of studying skills. 
They drove her home after, and he had to admit she dealt with him and Eddie bickering over the radio like a champ. Eventually she just threw her hands up and batted both of them away, with a stern, “Passenger side gets to pick!”
But at least he knew who ABBA was now, and Steve was a pretty big fan of both their music and the way it made Eddie cringe. He kept it on the whole ride home and surprisingly enough, he was actually looking forward to their next session. 
He thought that would be the next time he saw her, so imagine his surprise when he walked into first period with Nancy Wheeler already seated by the window, a book in hand. That was new. He walked up to her, taking the desk in front so he could turn back. She didn’t notice him at first, too absorbed in her book. He gently tapped on her desk, knowing from previous experience that it was really easy to jumpscare people when they were absorbed in reading.
She glanced up at him, surprise written all over her face. Which made sense, this was probably the first class they’d ever had together.
He smiled at her, “When did you get added to this class?”
Steve frowned when she looked away from him before answering, voice quiet, “I’ve uh, been here all year actually.”
Steve blinked at her, stomach twisting in a knot. Oh. Oh no. Could he look like a bigger dick? But maybe he could still save this, “Oh. Then I guess this is what you meant when you said we’ve met before?”
Nancy shook her head, still looking anywhere but at Steve’s face, “It was uh, actually last year? We were lab partners in Mrs. Kay's chemistry class. And um, I guess as a warning I’m also in your History class. And uh, Biology. That’s why I’m your tutor.”
Steve stared at her, mouth opening and closing like an idiot. He knew that he was a bit notorious for his one track mind, but he didn’t realize that it was that bad, “I am so sorry.”
She shrugged, “It’s not your fault I’m forgettable.”
Steve opened his mouth to argue, but the next thing he knew he was being shushed by the teacher and Nancy was already back to reading. He wiped a hand down his face, mind already racing on just what he could do to make up for accidentally ignoring her existence for a year plus. But by the time class ended and he turned around she was already walking out of the door. 
She was fast for such a little person. And despite the fact that they apparently had three classes together he couldn’t manage to catch her once. He whined to Eddie about it the whole way home, glaring at him when he had the audacity to laugh. Steve was still pouting about it by the time they walked through the front door of the trailer, especially since Eddie was still giggling behind him. 
“Babe, I said I was sorry! And hey, at least you didn’t fake date her right?”
Steve groaned as he flopped down into their bed, only the slightest bit appeased when he felt Eddie tug his shoes off for him, “Lab partners is so much worse. I didn’t even know her name until last week. I’m awful.”
“Oh come on, you can still win her over!” Eddie said as he plopped down next to him, laughing when Steve immediately started to play with his hair, “You just got to use some of that signature Harrington charm.”
Steve sighed as he twisted a lock of Eddie's hair around his finger, trying and failing to make his brain come up with an answer. But then it hit him, “Hey, do you still have enough stuff here to make more muffins?”
Eddie raised a brow at him, “Are you going to try and bribe her into liking you with chocolate?”
“If you make them for me I will,”  Steve was trying to put on his most convincing face, the cute one that almost always got Eddie to do what he wanted. And it seemed to be working if the way his eyes softened was anything to go by. 
Eddie sighed, pretending to think about it for a second, “What’s in it for me?”
Steve leaned into kiss him, two quick pecks to the side of his mouth before saying, “My undying love?”
Steve loved how something so corny was enough to make Eddie melt, “Deal.”
God, he was so easy. 
He left Eddie to bake while he drove all the way back to his house. There were a lot of other things he’d rather be doing than digging around in his mom’s desolate wrapping paper drawer in the middle of the night, but he made it work. 
By the time he got back to the trailer they were baked and cooled, and Steve made sure to give Eddie a thorough kiss for his efforts. He wrapped a few of them up in some purple cellophane, paired with a pink and white bow, the least ugly combination he was able to find at one a.m.
He added a small white card, scribbling a little something into it before presenting it to Eddie in bed, “Tada! What do you think?”
Eddie laughed as he took it from him to inspect, in good spirits despite the fact that Steve insisted he stayed awake until it was finished. He seemed just as impressed with his handiwork as Steve was, “I think it’s perfect."
Steve preened, “You think she’ll like it?”
“She’ll love it,” Eddie reassured before gently placing it on the nightstand. He grabbed Steve’s arm, hauling him down from his sitting position to nearly laying on top of him before grabbing a blanket to cover them both up in, “Now can we please go to sleep?”
Steve didn’t argue when Eddie went to turn off the light. He was right, especially since he was going to make them wake up early on top of it.
The next morning Steve was actually in class early. For the first time in well…ever. But Nancy had still beat him there. She was in her usual place, nose in her book. She didn’t even look up when Steve sat in front of her, but she did startle a bit when he dropped the gift on her desk. 
He grinned at her, way too excited for her reaction, “These are for you! To say I’m sorry for y’know. Being oblivious.”
Nancy looked at the muffins and back to Steve, a small smile slowly growing on her face, “You made me apology muffins?”
“Well…Eddie made them,” Steve admitted, rubbing a hand on the back of his neck, “But I helped! And did the decorating and wrote the card.”
Nancy plucked the small card off the ribbon. She read it out loud, her small smile transforming into a full blown grin, “‘I’m Sorry I’m an Asshole.’ I’m guessing you did the little frowny face too?”
Steve nodded, “I may have the art skills of a ten year old but I do mean it. You’re not forgettable Nancy. I’m just an inconsiderate moron. Okay?”
Nancy stared down at the gift in her hands before looking back to Steve, voice soft, “I…thanks. I appreciate that.”
They talked for a while after that and Steve was pretty sure he was planted firmly on the path of forgiveness. But he wanted to be 100 percent sure. He had made it this far, why not push a little more?
“Do you want to have lunch together today?”
Nancy looked more than a little surprised at the request, “Oh, I already have plans with Barb.”
Steve shrugged, “She can come too. The four of us can go to Benny's and get some burgers or something.”
“Isn’t that against school rules?”
Steve smiled to himself. He forgot for a second that he was talking to a goody two shoes over here, “Only if you get caught. And if we did Eddie and I would take the blame, scout’s honor.”
She bit her lip, hesitating before finally nodding her head, “If Barb says yes then, um, sure.”
That was good enough for Steve, even if he had no clue who Barb was. But he’d trust Nancy’s judgment. And surprisingly the whole thing goes a lot better than Steve had been expecting. He was a little scared that their table would be dead quiet after they all realized they had nothing in common, a completely unfounded fear considering that Eddie was with them. He had a knack for getting people to open their mouths, even if it was only to tell him to shut up. And that little skill was great to get both girls to open up a little. 
Turns out Steve and Nancy actually had something in common, a mutual love for Blondies, in particular Heart of Glass, while Barb and Eddie both agreed that it was one of the most annoying things they’d ever heard. They created a united front to tease them both over it, and Nancy and Steve bonded over just how misunderstood Deborah Harry was. 
It was fun, fun enough for Eddie to invite them both to lunch more and more often. Nancy says yes more than Barb, who is surprisingly busy with a few of her extracurriculars. But it’s still fun. Nancy’s fun. And soon spending lunch together turns into inviting her over to watch a movies with him and Eddie at the trailer, or getting food while Eddie was caught up in Hellfire or Band practice. 
It all snowballs into the two of them spending a lot more time together, most of it outside of their tutoring sessions. And Steve was starting to think that he had actually managed to make a friend.  The real cincher is just how well she gets along with Eddie, and watching them both laugh together was enough to make Steve feel all warm and happy inside. 
Because he likes Nancy. Like, really likes her. Like doesn’t want to throw her to the wayside likes her. She’s smart and kind, a little strict in a weird but pleasant way. And sometimes he’ll look at her and Barb doing something, something as casual as whispering to each other at  the lockers, all smiles and shared secrets, and Steve can’t help but want that. 
Because he doesn’t really have his own friends outside of Eddie. He has his teammates sure, but it’s not like he can let himself get too close to them. Then there were Eddie’s friends, and they were all great, really, but they weren’t…his. There was Wayne, but as much as he loved him he’d always be more of a parent then a friend. That said, Eddie was still his best friend. He loved Eddie, he loved Eddie more than anything on the planet. 
But he can’t…talk to Eddie about Eddie. And yeah, maybe it was a bit too feminine to want to gossip about your boyfriend at the lockers with a new girl bestie. But then again, he probably lost his “man” card the second he shoved his tongue down Eddie's throat for the first time. And it’s not just that he wants someone to talk about his relationship. He wants her to be able to talk to him too. Whether it be her own crushes or complaining about her parents, he wanted to connect with her more. It sounded…fun. Maybe gay as hell but whatever. Technically it was fitting. 
But he knew that he couldn’t have that if he didn’t tell her the truth. 
~
 From this fic, and the 1.5 Part of this post
Part 2 Part 3
@missarte-beltane
Idk tag etiquette so I only added the person who asked for it because I don't want to be annoying! But if you want to be added let me know!
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stevesbipanic · 1 year
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After Steve and Eddie had been a couple for a little while and friends for longer they inevitably talked about their shit childhoods and even shitter dads. They made a promise to each other that if they ever had kids they wouldn't go through that and the kids they did have now would always have good childhoods monsters be damned. But something was still missing inside them, something still broken.
Which is why the list was created. Taming centrestage on their fridge in their little apartment, surrounded by Polaroids and pictures drawn by the kids. A list of all the things they wished they could've done as kids, things they could now do together, to patch that broken part.
It started with simple things, being told I love you, saying you were proud, hugs, soft kisses. It had silly things like bedtime stories and playing catch, and bike races. There were seasonal things, jumping into piles of raked leaves, flower crowns, snow angels.
Which lead them to here.
"Eddie!"
After facing real life monsters, hearing someone yell your name got you moving quickly. Eddie slid into the living room where he had heard Steve call out.
"Fuck, what's wrong Stevie!?"
"It's snowing!"
Eddie took a deep breathe trying to get his panic under control. Outside small flurries were falling.
"Fuck I thought you were dying, baby."
"Sorry, but I got excited. Do you think there will be enough to play in tomorrow?"
Eddie smiled at his boyfriend, the list had certainly helped Steve get excited over small things again.
"I don't know, sweetheart. We should get to bed soon so we can wake up early to check."
Steve had woken Eddie up many different ways since they started dating. Coffee, sound of bacon, breakfast in bed, sweet kisses and some other ways that he'd never tell the kids. All of those things were a lovely way to wake up. This morning was not one of those ways. Steve had gotten up as soon as dawn had broken, getting out bed to check outside, seeing a thick layer of snow. In his excitement he had turned and jumped on top of poor Eddie.
"Oof, angel I love you but I've already had one near death experience and as hot as you are I don't wanted to be crushed to death by you."
"Not what you said last night but sure, but Eddie there's so much snow!"
Eddie let himself be pulled out of bed by his giddy boyfriend and wrapped in warm clothes, being dragged outside into the snow. Steve giggled letting go of his hand turning around and landing in the snow immediately starting a snow angel. The cold was already started to colour their cheeks and Steve had never looked more beautiful to Eddie, completely carefree.
When Steve started shivering from the early morning, Eddie pulled him back inside for a warm breakfast, listening as Steve excitedly called the party over to play in the snow that afternoon.
Together they made more snow angels and staged an epic snowball fight.
"You can't kiss me as a distraction, Eds"
"If that's so then why did it work."
They ended their day with a snowman making competition. The kids were trying to recreate Steve, he'd told them they couldn't steal his sweater but gave them his scarf instead, they were currently trying to find the right sticks and leaves for his hair.
"No no no, we need more leaves it's not swoopy enough!"
"Dustin, those leaves aren't the right colour these sticks are!"
Steve laughed as he finished off his creation.
"Stevie, baby is that me?"
"Does the stick guitar give it away?"
"It's perfect, sweetheart."
Once everyone was too cold to stay out any longer, eventually Steve's mother instincts kicked in worried about them catching a cold, everyone crashed in the little living room. Steve made a big pot of hot cocoa and they all settled down to watch a Christmas movie.
There on the fridge, was one more thing crossed off for two men finally allowed to be boys.
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signed-sapphire · 15 days
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I would love to see you draw a scene from my rewrite!
Any scene that makes you feel inspired to draw it at all, can be between Asha and Aster or between Asha and the royals or Aster with the royals, whatever you feel more inclined to
(I’m kinda bad at being specific with art requests because I wanna make sure the artist is drawing something they wanna do lmao)
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Hehe I had fun with this
This is a scene from “Kingdom of Wishes” Chapter 12– Magic Pencil btw 👍
Notes under the cut
So I was reviewing the official designs for Asha and Aster and realized I was drawing Asha’s hair wrong. Oops. So I drew her “correct” hair in her past version. Amazigh girls usually get their first tattoos during puberty, that’s why I didn’t draw Asha with hers yet.
Also I know Aster didn’t conjure up a little Asha in the story, but I wanted to draw past Asha. Got any guesses from where I got little Asha’s outfit from?
The glowing eyes of Aster’s… yeah they look a bit creepy. Idk. It’s a cop-out for drawing hands bc they are the worst Disney villain ever, so this way I don’t have to draw hands
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friendlylocalwhumper · 3 months
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“I n-need help.” Rain-soaked clothes cling to his body where he shivers on the doorstep.
Just inside the doorway stands Emory, blocking the warm yellow glow of the Christmas tree with his body. His eyes widen but he stays tucked between the door and the frame. “Lux.” He wants to crouch down, scoop him up, carry him in. But there is something dangerous inside: a wonderstruck little girl fawning over all her presents in pretty paper and bows. A little girl who has no idea that anyone ever gets hurt, and who thinks her dad is away on a trip to pick up the best present of all for her.
“It’s Christmas morning,” Emory adds finally, face twisted with distress. He doesn’t know what to do. He can’t bring Lux inside, Penny can’t see him like this. But it’s so cold outside, and Lux looks like he’s in so much pain.
“...Need help,” Repeats the miserable warlock. “Just… g-get me to, to the side of the house, to hide. And then - and then - I can h-heal. I just…”
“You’re scared. Okay. Yeah, okay.” Swallowing his fear of ruining their daughter’s magical morning, Emory steps out into the rain. A chill runs down his spine when descending the two steps to the pathway reveals the bad angle of Lux’s leg. In a practiced motion he kneels and gathers his husband up into a better shape to guide him to his feet. Lux isn’t so thin anymore; he finally has enough muscle and dad-pudge to make his shoulders bigger and add some weight to him.
Besides, unfortunately, Emory knows that Lux can limp along on a broken leg without screaming.
The puddles complain with feeble splashes at being disturbed by dragging feet. The bricks on the side of the house catch them as Lux and Emory half-collapse together. The rough stone catches Emory’s knuckles and scores scrapes across the skin there as he protects Lux’s head without a second thought. They’ve fallen together enough times for him to see that coming.
The collision with the wall and muddy ground is finally enough to punch a sound out of Lux. It strikes Emory as horrifying that he was hesitant to come out and help when he hears that whimper. It sounds so different from how Lux’s sounds used to, like he was using a voice back in his twenties that the Hunter would be more entertained by. Letting his voice go high and cracked. Now, his voice is deeper, and that makes the soft, broken sound worse. Lux doesn’t sound like someone who makes pitiful sounds anymore.
“What happened, honey?” Emory asks softly as he checks on those shoulders first. The right one is just tense, the left one being touched makes Lux snap his head back against the bricks. He doesn’t scream, but it’s obvious that he needs to. Rain splatters across rapidly paling cheeks, droplets catching in his short beard that was just scruff a few days ago.
“Him. Just - a popped shoulder, uh, busted ribs, leg needs… you know.”
It looks exhausting for Lux to speak. A soft hand wrapped in band-aids cups his cheek as Emory leans in to tip his head down, their foreheads touching and the world seeming to close in comfortably around them. “Do you want to heal up, come in, get changed? She’ll be so happy to see you.”
It was supposed to be reassuring, but Emory can tell it came off as dismissive instead. Lux keeps his eyes closed and frowns deeper like he does when he’s holding back tears. “Yeah, I just… need a minute?” His voice cracks at the end. “Because I f-felt small again and I don’t feel like a dad right now.”
Their daughter inside the house, waiting on jumpy legs to finally get to open presents, weighs on Emory’s mind urgently like a stove left lit. But the Lux trying not to weep right in front of him is a concern more of the world-endingly devastating variety. Seeing Lux needing to cry always chokes him up, too, and it takes deliberate effort not to crack right now. “Okay, Curls. Take a minute. You’re home. Let’s get this shoulder healed first, what do you think? Make it hurt less so you can breathe.”
Lux’s staggered gasps stop for a second, and then comes a tense chuckle at the realization that he was struggling to get enough air around the agony. “You think, you th-think, fuck…” The curse comes in a practiced whisper to protect little ears. “Stupid, the stupid stuttering, I didn’t miss that.”
“It still happens when you’re stressed, sometimes.”
“Well I hate it a lot, a lot more when it’s because of him.”
Emory hums, whipping back tangled sopping hair that looks straight right now, but will be fluffy and curly once it’s dried out. “Just breathe and think of bed. The black blanket and the pillows. You can use your magic, it’s safe and we’ll be warm soon.”
A shuddery sigh comes at the guiding reassurances. With the deliberate calm and focus that comes, Lux allows blue-white light to blossom in his palms. His eyes blink open to squint toward the street, because as protected by the side of the house and the fence as they are, someone could drive by and see, and then…
“It’s safe,” Emory reminds, his hand on Lux’s cheek guiding him away from looking compulsively for danger. “Fix that shoulder. We have a few more minutes before she tears the presents to shreds, I think.”
That startles a laugh out of Lux, but at the same time his magic flares and dies out, his brows drawing up in upset. “He - he, Em, he tried to use - he tried to use her. Against me.” It’s all a whisper, a hoarse confession. Emory draws back in instant protective worry as he listens hard. Lux presses a hand to the ground and digs his fingers into the mud. “He made an illusion, a, he used magic on a box so when I opened it, I’d - her earrings were in there. I thought they were. I told him - I told him, I made sure he knew not to, not to ever come here, or even - he knows not to. Not to go near her.”
“We have to kill him. Get someone to. Move, we’ll have to move…”
“Em.” Lux looks like he wants to scream again, but more from emotion than pain this time. He remains quiet and weak against the wall. “There’s nothing else to do. He’s not coming close. I just - don’t try to - I don’t need…” Every raindrop that crashes into him is an assault on his senses. He can’t stand this kind of pain anymore, not when he has things to do. A family to pay attention to. When he was twenty it was fine to spend days curled up whining and crying, sleeping, wallowing. Now it feels like a waste of time to even explain what happened to Emory. “I made him sorry. Scared him. He erased my, made it so I couldn’t…”
It’s just a fact that the Hunter erased his memory of opening that gift, and that Lux found the mind magic in his own head and tore it apart to remember. Mentioning the assault on his mind is still hard, though, and he chokes on it.
“...Just. He knows not to, and I got out. I’m just s-, I’m - yeah. Scared. God, I miss being an annoying crying kid and Anders bullying me into taking a break.” A self-interrupting, chaotic sob-sigh, and he sinks further toward the ground. Impatiently he lifts a hand, summons that magic back to his palm, and heals the dislocated shoulder. He takes the joint thunking back into its socket like a punch to the gut instead of bone grinding on bone and nerves twisting unbearably. “Fuck,” He whispers again, as if mentioning Anders makes it impossible not to curse.
“Sorry.” Emory crouches close again, taking the liberty to adjust Lux’s broken leg so it’s closer to the core of his body. Lux is pale as a ghost but doesn’t complain, as he can finally reach the limb with his magic and pour some light into it. “Sorry, Curls. I know you didn’t ask for this. I know you… you can keep her safe.”
The warlock hums in agreement, then squeezes his eyes shut and raises his free hand to bite down on the side of it. Shaky breaths hiss out around the bite as his leg straightens and mends itself.
“H-hard to, to numb at the, same time,” He pants as Emory brushes his hair back.
“I know, honey. Come on, gotta get up.”
The puddle that they passed through earlier sloshes back out of the divot in the yard as they trudge through, and the front door opens with a squeak of complaint.
There is a tremendous racket of clinking glass, crumpling paper, and what sounds suspiciously like a pine tree knocking back against a wall. Penny comes running out into the hall with pine needles in her hair and a cloth snowflake ornament trapped in her sleeve. Her eyes go huge and round when she sees both of her dads, not just the one who stepped outside.
“Dad needs a break,” Emory says with quick, practiced ease before she can run in and hug Lux. “He fell down in the rain coming home! Isn’t that silly?”
“Daaaaaad,” Penelope complains and rolls her eyes, sending her whole head lolling back and her arms flapping once at her sides with the exaggerated gesture. “Ew.”
Lux tips his head down to see the mud they tracked in, and the growing puddle beneath them. “Ew,” He agrees, and smiles. It’s so warm in here, he almost wants to just sink to the floor and sprawl across it. “I’m gonna go take a shower get on my Christmas jammies. Then presents?”
The little girl stands still, suddenly, and clearly has a miniature crisis. “Yeah, uh - uh, Papa, you can, you can help, you can go help.”
Emory tips his head. “I don’t think Dad needs help with-”
Off she goes, unleashing a tornado in the living room to try to clean up and hide the evidence of her sneaky present opening.
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deesi-academia · 3 months
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its so weird that the one friend who has my baby pictures isn't going to be in my life anymore... like we were practically born and grew up together but times change i guess?
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