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#bro lmao
agentark · 1 year
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Adam: ok damage control, I can salvage this
The damage control: finding any excuse to touch the detective, with renewed fervor
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beauregardlionett · 11 months
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bor’dor: i’m gonna grab the angel’s head because i’ve never felt one before bor’dor: casts inflict wounds
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nerdby · 10 months
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All I can imagine right now are all the artists downloading this and lining up to sue the fuck out of Disney and Ali Selim for using their art for the Secret Invasion credits🤣
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briefcasejuice · 1 year
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*asks the corpse a question*
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blmpff · 26 days
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LEE LONG SHI igs 25.03.24
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weeping-gospels · 11 months
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Little girl pointing at the hamsters: RATS!
Me: No, hamsters. Those are rats behind you.
Her pointing at Yule on my shoulder: HAMSTER!
Me: nope, rat
Her dad: This is what it’s like having a kid 24/7.
Her: NO I’M NOT I’M FOUR
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archibaldtuttle · 2 years
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My Dutch player putting his character's height as 185cm because I told him samurais were pretty short
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carcrash429 · 6 months
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Batman #427
“The Joker: Just Another Victim of Reaganomics”
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chadchadington · 2 years
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rukia-writes · 2 years
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Hades: people who talk in their sleep scare the hell out of me. Poseidon talked in his sleep one time saying “he’s here.” Bitch. Who is here?! 😭😭
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lovelygoblin · 1 year
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terramythos · 1 year
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Honest to God work dialogue I just had over the phone with a customer:
Me: ok, I have your business hours as 9-5 and your address as X. Is that correct?
Customer: yep
Me: great, we will pick up on Monday. Do you have any questions for me?
Customer: yeah, do you have my phone number?
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ilhoonftw · 2 years
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that time backstreet boys did a collab stage with smap 😭 except for kimutaku everyone in smap is fighting for their lives
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inkskinned · 2 years
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fucking hate it when the stuff everybody says "actually works" does actually work.
hate exercising and realizing i've let go of a lot of anxiety and anger because i've overturned my fight-or-flight response.
hate eating right and eating enough and eating 3 times a day and realizing i'm less anxious and i have more energy
hate journaling in my stupid notebook with my stupid bic ballpoint and realizing that i've actually started healing about something once i'm able to externalize it
hate forgiving myself hate complimenting myself more often hate treating myself with kindness hate taking a gratitude inventory hate having patience hate talking to myself gently
hate turning my little face up to the sun and taking deep breaths and looking at nature and grounding myself and realizing that i feel less burdened and more hopeful, more actually-here, that i am able to see the good sides of myself more clearly, that i am able to see not only how far i have to grow - but also how much growth i have already done & how much of my life i truly fill with light and laughter and love
horrible horrible horrible. hate it but i'm gonna do it tho
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u-know-too-much · 8 months
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So sick of me to think that people would find me attractive 🤩
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jessiesjaded · 8 months
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Losing my mind at seeing Twitter Discourse where a girl talks about being a waitress and how sometimes people don't acknowledge her or reply to her at all when she speaks to them and how it feels dehumanising and all the people in the replies are like UM. SOME OF US HAVE /SOCIAL ANXIETY/ You're literally an evil person for wishing people would treat you with bare minimum decency :/ like idk how to tell you this but if a waitress asks how your evening is while she's taking you to your seat in a restaurant and you're gonna pretend saying "Fine, thank you" is a horrific arduous task like. Maybe you're just a massive cunt? Maybe you're just an insufferable fuckwit?
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