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#bringing his traditions but also learning about theirs
amhrosina · 1 year
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NSFW Alphabet (Frank Castle x Female Reader)
MASTERLIST // TAG LIST REQUEST
A/N: Requested! I love these. Pls send more character requests of these lmfao.
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(Warnings: It's literally all NSFW lol, there's a daddy kink mentioned, frank spitting in your mouth???, size kink, public sex, remote-controlled vibrator, etc.)
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) 
When I tell you Frank Castle is the king of aftercare like don’t even get me STARTED!!!!!! 
okay but lets get started
Frank loves taking care of you after absolutely ruining you. 
After he makes you cum so hard you think you might cry, he’ll rub soothing circles into your skin, nuzzling his nose into your neck and bringing you down from your high. 
He knows your love language is touch, so he’ll hold your hand and kiss your palm until you can function again. 
He’ll run a warm washcloth over your sensitive areas and tuck you into his side, wrapping his protective arms around you.  
He’s your safe place, but you’re his safe place, too.  
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) 
Frank’s favorite part of your body is your thighs. 
Anytime you wear something a little short, his brain all but short circuits. 
He loves to bite and suck on them as foreplay. 
When you’re near him, even if it’s in public or completely inappropriate, his hands always end up touching your thighs.  
He’d gladly suffocate between them if you’d let him. 
His favorite part of himself are his hands. 
Wrapping them around your throat is his favorite pastime, but really anytime he gets to touch you, he’s happy.   
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) 
Frank loves watching his cum drip from your cunt after he fucks you into oblivion. 
He’ll swipe his finger on your sensitive pussy, gathering the cum and shoving it back inside of you. 
Sometimes when you’re planning on being out and about, he’ll cum in you as a little reminder that pools in your panties throughout the day. 
The idea of you walking around with his cum seeping out of you is enough to get him hard enough to fuck you again. 
You’re late to a lot of things because of this lmfao. 
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) 
Something that you learned pretty early on with Frank is that he’s obsessed with your underwear. 
When you go out to dinner, he’ll shoot you a look that has you hustling to the bathroom to remove your panties. He tucks them in his pocket and refuses to give them back until its laundry day.  
This happens whether it’s just you and him or if you’re out with a group. He doesn’t care lmfao. 
One time, you came home from work earlier than usual and caught him fucking into his hand, which held your panties from the night before.  
When he noticed your arrival, he didn’t stop thrusting into his hand. He just watched you watch him. You removed the panties you were wearing and handed them to him. He brought them to his face and inhaled deeply. 
You’re embarrassed to admit how incredibly turned on you were when he came into his hand, all over your favorite pair of blush pink underwear. 
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?) 
Frank Castle is a sex god and I feel like that goes without saying. 
He’s a generous lover, offering you three, four, sometimes five orgasms before letting himself be pleasured in return. 
Frank is exceptional at reading your body language. If he switches what he’s doing with his tongue and notices a change in your demeanor, he’ll immediately go back to what he was doing before. 
He may have had sex with a lot of people, but he makes you feel like the only person in the world when he fucks you. 
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying) 
Frank’s a traditional guy – he likes looking at you when he’s fucking you, but his absolute favorite position is doggy style. 
He goes absolutely crazy in this position; biting your shoulders, choking you, holding both of your arms behind you and holding you up as he pounds into you. 
This position gives him the deepest access and boy does he love it when he can feel your pussy fluttering around his entire cock. 
When he’s feeling less rough, he’ll hold you against him, pressing sloppy kisses down your spine and whispering dirty things in your ear. 
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) 
It’s hard to imagine Frank as anything but serious in any aspect of his life, but especially during sex. 
Even though sex is something he’s had plenty of, he takes it seriously when you open yourself up to him. 
He’s a man on a mission, and that mission is to make you cum as many times as possible. 
The only time Frank is able to completely let his guard down is when he’s buried deep inside of you, so there’s never a time where goofiness fits the energy in the room. 
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) 
Frank doesn’t pay too close attention to this, but he likes to keep it neat and maintained for you. 
Just a simple trim, nothing too drastic, maybe once a week. 
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) 
Listen, Frank is a sex god, we’ve already covered that, but when he’s making love to someone he loves, it’s a whole different ballgame. 
After Maria’s death, Frank closed himself off to genuine romantic connections for a while, but when he met you, he couldn’t push it down anymore. 
You accept his vulnerability with grace, and his heart aches when you remind him of how much you love him when he’s buried deep inside of you. 
The genuine love he feels when he makes love to you was scary at first, but the warmth in your gaze and the soft caress of your hands calmed him down. 
Now, when he’s feeling sentimental, he fucks every ounce of love he can muster into you, whispering how much you mean to him in your ear. 
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) 
Usually, Frank doesn’t need to masturbate unless you’re out of town or something. Basically, he has the willpower to hold off until you come home from work, but if you’re traveling or separated from him for longer than 12 hours, the mere thought of you has him hard and aching in his pants. 
He’s a dude, though, so like tbh he could masturbate to the thought of you at any hour of the day if he really felt like it. 
If you send him dirty texts or pictures while he’s out patrolling Hell’s Kitchen, he has to physically stop himself from stroking himself off on some random rooftop. 
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) 
Do I really need to say it? Okay, fine.  
FRANK CASTLE HAS A DADDY KINK 
Also? Definitely a size kink. Frank’s a massive dude, and the idea of your body writhing underneath him sends him over the edge more often than he’d care to admit. 
L = Location (favorite places to do the do) 
Frank will take you literally anywhere at any time if you ask him to. 
Typically, the bedroom is where you end the night, but where you start is always a surprise. 
Bending you over every single thing in the apartment has become his new goal, but his favorites are the couch and the kitchen table. 
Something about fucking you on the table that you both eat dinner sends his hormones into overdrive. 
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) 
Frank is not a picky dude, so pretty much everything you do turns him on. 
One time, he walked into the kitchen as you were bent over, placing the lasagna you had prepared in the oven. 
He had lunged forward (after you had shut the oven door and it was safe obviously lol), ripping your shorts and underwear off and plunging into you. 
It literally doesn’t matter what you’re doing. 
Sometimes when he rolls over in bed after you’ve left for work and inhales the scent of your bodywash on the sheets, he gets so hard he ends up rutting into the mattress for some relief.  
He can’t help it. You’re hot, and he loves fucking you. 
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) 
Frank has spent the last decade of his life surrounded by violence, and you were the much-needed reprieve from that, so anything that has to do with hitting you is a no-go for him.  
He’ll spank you on your ass, but that’s about it. He will literally never lay a finger on your face unless it’s out of love. 
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) 
Say it with me: Frank Castle eats pussy like a man starved. 
If he could keep his head between your legs forever, he would do it in a heartbeat. 
He’ll literally beg you to ride his face sometimes. 
If you try to say you’re too heavy, he will physically pick you up and drop you on his face. If he suffocates, he’ll die a happy man. 
He likes getting head from you but prefers to be a giver in the bedroom.  
He’s not stupid though – when you’re feeling dominate, he gives up the control easily. 
He just thinks you look so pretty with your lips around his cock. 
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) 
This really depends on the mood, but typically Frank likes it slow and sensual.  
Don’t get me wrong, Frank is absolutely a fast and hard kind of guy, but with someone he loves, he likes to make it last as long as possible. 
Sometimes, he’ll hold himself still inside of you and get you off again, just to make the moment last just a little bit longer. 
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) 
Frank likes quickies but prefers to take the time to ravish you wholly.  
Like I mentioned before, it doesn’t take a lot to get him going when it comes to you, so quickies aren’t rare. 
He likes quickies out in public, at a party or in the bathroom of a bar if he’s feeling desperate.  
The fact that you’ve already removed your panties for him makes it all the more lustful. 
At Billy’s annual New Year’s Eve party, it’s common for you and Frank to go missing for 10 minutes at a time. 
All in all, Frank’s game for quickies, but likes it when he gets the time to fully satisfy your needs. 
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.) 
Frank’s middle name is risk.  
He’s open to trying anything at least once, but usually it’s him that does all the risk taking in your relationship. 
For instance, when you’re out to dinner with a group and sitting next to each other, he makes it a game to see how close he can bring you to the edge before backing off. 
He’ll run his fingers up your thighs, hidden from sight, and start circling your clit while in the middle of a conversation about something completely random with someone else.  
When he feels you clench like you’re about to cum, he’ll readjust his position, removing his fingers from your body completely.  
You usually end up so aroused and horny by the end of the night that you can’t even bear the drive home before your clothes are off and Frank is pounding into you in the driver’s seat of his car. 
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?) 
You guys already know this man is a god damned sex fiend. 
If he wills it, he can last for hours.  
Sometimes, even after four rounds and an insane number of orgasms, Frank will wake up in the middle of the night, ready to go again.  
There have been nights where you swear you were fucking more than you were sleeping. 
You have no idea where he gets the energy from, but he insists that you make him insatiable.  
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?) 
Frank’s not really a toy guy, but he’s not opposed to using them on you.  
His favorite toy is (ofc) the remote-controlled vibrator he bought you to wear when you went out in public with him. 
There have been too many nights where Frank would overstimulate you in public, forcing you to stumble to the bathroom where you’d end up squirting all over the place.  
It’s not something that’s required for both of you to enjoy sex, but it definitely helps. 
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) 
Frank may be hardened on the outside, but he’s a big ‘ole softie for you.  
He tries to tease you, but the second the word ‘daddy’ is out of your mouth, he gives you anything you could possibly want. 
He does, however, like watching you writhe with overstimulation as he eats you out. 
You’ll beg him to fuck you, claiming you don’t have another orgasm in you, but he’ll tell you to be good and cum on his tongue again. You always do. 
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) 
Frank is a quiet lover. 
He’ll let out soft grunts or groans in your ear, sending a wave of goosebumps over your skin. 
He likes to whisper dirty things in your ear, telling you how good you’re being and how he loves the feeling of your wet pussy around his cock, but it’s never spoken at his regular tone. 
You offer Frank a quiet, vulnerable home inside of you, and he’s eternally grateful for that. Most of his life has been one loud crash after another, so he relishes the quieting of his brain when you’re around. 
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character) 
The first time you asked Frank to spit in your mouth, he came so hard he saw stars for half an hour afterwards. 
This quickly became a regular occurrence lol. 
There’s something so raw and dirty about it that he can’t even think about it unless he’s planning on getting hard and fucking you into next week. 
Sometimes it’s slow and seductive, the anticipation intense enough to make you whine with impatience. 
Other times, when he’s in the mood to be rough, it’s a fast and hard spit onto your awaiting tongue.  
He can’t decide which he likes better. 
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes) 
Frank is packing. We all know this. I needn't say more. 
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?) 
I feel like this has been established lol. 
This man wants you at all times, on every surface available, in every position he can think of.  
His appetite for you is insatiable, and after you give him permission to wake you up with his tongue on your clit, that becomes your regular alarm. He’ll never say no to the opportunity to shove his face between your legs.  
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) 
Frank’s able to sleep a little better after he meets you, but sex doesn’t usually put him to sleep.  
Once you’re all taken care of, wrapped up in the blankets and lying on his chest, he’ll softly run his fingers along your back until you’re in a deep sleep. 
This is his favorite thing to do with you, above everything else.  
Knowing you’re in his arms, protected from the dangers of the world, is enough to lull him off to sleep, even if it’s only for a little while. 
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unclewaynemunson · 1 year
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Eddie hated Christmas. He hated it ever since that time in primary school when they had to put on a nativity play and everyone but him seemed to care about that stupid Jesus story; he didn’t even know what it was about until his teacher pulled him aside to explain it to him (which only happened after Brad made fun of him for it). He hated it ever since that time they had to craft some stupid paper mache Santa, when he jumped on a table to yell at all his classmates that Santa wasn’t even real (after which his teacher scolded him and made him stand in the corner for the remainder of the day). He hated it ever since that time their classroom got a Christmas tree and his teacher demanded that he’d participate in decorating it, while refusing to let him bring a menorah from home instead.
He didn’t understand why he was forced to participate in this thing that wasn’t even his. He didn’t understand why his teachers never allowed him share the stories that his uncle always told him during the darkest days of the year: stories about the bravery of the Maccabees, the holiness of the Temple far away in Jerusalem, and the miracle of the candles. His uncle usually never talked much, but whenever they had a holiday to celebrate, he’d share the most wonderful and captivating stories in his slow, solemn voice. (Eddie had believed that his uncle was a rabbi until an embarrassingly late age).
When the first Christmas after he started dating Steve came around, he dreaded it. It was obvious to him that Steve was the kind of guy who’d care a great deal about Christmas. He’d probably want to do it all properly: hang a ridiculous amount of lights, have a big dinner, put presents under a neatly decorated tree... Eddie wanted to be on board with that, for Steve, but by G’d, he hated Christmas.
Little did Eddie know that Steve hated Christmas, too. Steve hated it ever since that Christmas dinner in some hotel in Paris, or Dubai, or maybe it was Buenos Aires, when his parents had systemically refused to talk to each other and the tension in the room was nearly sharp enough to cut the turkey without any knife. He hated it even more ever since his parents gave up on doing holidays altogether and Christmas became nothing but a check and a greeting card for him.
Eddie was baffled when Steve, on a dark evening in early December, told him how much he was struggling with the idea of turning the holiday around to make a new tradition with Eddie. Eddie laughed, full of relief, and told him he shouldn’t worry about it. They both delighted in the discovery that the other also hated Christmas, and Steve was genuinely excited to learn all about Chanukkah instead. Eddie invited him over to the trailer every evening, where they’d light the candles together and eat sufganiyot, and Wayne would tell them all the stories that were so familiar for Eddie and so new to Steve. And even though Steve didn’t share in their history, this tradition became theirs, more than Christmas could ever have.
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anjelicawrites · 10 months
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NSFW alphabet for Aemond x reader x Osferth
Definitely NSFW and 18 + only
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
It’s of the utmost importance. It doesn’t matter whether it’s the three of them together or any combination thereof, aftercare is pivotal in the relationship. Reader and Osferth tend to play hard when it’s only the two of them together and tenderness and care are always needed, when they are done. With Aemond, the lad is still discovering sex and working through his trauma, he needs tenderness, always.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
They both love reader's boobs. They are soft and the perfect mouthful for them to suck on. Reader loves Aemond’s big brain, his huge shoulders are her second favorite thing. She loves Osferth’s hands, they are big and strong, capable of the softest caresses and the hardest spanking.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
When they started dating and Aemond was still too traumatized to try and have sex, he stole a pair of reader’s panties and wrapped them around his cock while masturbating (he felt extremely guilty about it). He’s managed to put them back in her drawer once he started living with her and Osferth. He still blushes every time she wears them.
Not much of a dirty secret but Osferth daydreams about reader’s boobies and Aemond’s ass when he is bored at work; he gets a clip behind his ears by Finan every single time that happens.
Is it a dirty secret that reader lives by the words of contemporary poet and philosopher Kim Petras,  from her song Treat me like a slut? It’s probably for the outside world, not to her lovers.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
All three of them, even prim and proper Aemond, love cumplay, be it coming on reader's face/bosom/tummy, creampie her or stick their fingers in her cunt to play with her come or kiss eachother with a mouthful of come in their mouths, it doesn't matter as long as they get to do it. Also, playing with the come coming out of Aemond or Osferth, depending on who is bottoming? Or pushing on their tummy to make sure everything comes out? Big, fucking yes.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
Both Osferth and reader are extremely experienced, both in vanilla sex and BDSM. Aemond is learning all he can from the two of them and they are happy to teach him.He’s a fast and extremely curious student.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
Osferth loves sex, thinks is fun and tries to make it so for his lovers. Aemond has learnt to take on sex as a fun activity, during which you can laugh and be silly, it’s not life or death. Reader is the idiot who blows raspberries on their tummies and tickles them until they beg.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Aemond loves missionary. Yes, it might be boring and traditional, but he gets to hide his face against his partner's neck and breathe them in during the act. Also, he feels like he is protecting them when they are the most defenseless; what's not to like?
For reader is doggy with a hand in the hair. Plays with her degradation kink with the added bonus of spanking.
Osferth is a romantic at heart. He loves lotus position so much, the intimacy it brings. If it were up to him, he'll make love to his beloveds like this always.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
For the three of them the carpet matches the drapes. Aemond has platinum, well trimmed hair. Osferth’s are a slightly darker shade of blonde; he’s not as well groomed as Aemond is, but he tries to keep everything under control. In her younger years reader has had her hair styled in different shapes down there, now she keeps everything nice and trimmed.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
Aemond is always extremely romantic, he feels both the physical aspect of lovemaking and the more psychological one tenfold. He might have a black and white take on what romanticism is, compared to his lovers, who can find romanticism even in the more baser and filthier acts, but he can’t see himself be anything but gentle, the exact opposite of who he is when he’s not with them. Both Osferth and reader can be romantic even during one of their BDSM sessions and it’s the small things: asking where the partner is mentally, a swift caress on the cheek or a kiss on the forehead; really they are big on accepting their partner’s needs, than waxing poetry during the act.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
Aemond didn’t masturbate that much before meeting his lovers. He would subject himself to cold showers every single time he had an hard on, now he follows the needs of his body with more freedom. He still prefers his lovers to his hand, but there’s only so much one can do when he’s on a work trip.
Turning into a teenager meant that Osferth was swamped by hormones. He was ready to go all the times, which didn’t go well with being in a convent with strict rules about sex and sexuality; if it weren’t for those rules, he would have probably masturbated far more than he did. He now doesn’t indulge as much as he used to, only because he has the real deal at hand, which is ten times better.
Reader owns the bulk of the toys they have. Do I have to say more? Her boys satisfy her perfectly, mind you, it’s just that masturbating is so much fun!!!
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Reader can look into your eyes and deadpan “Love and respect”. She’s had many partners with different tastes in sex and found that, for the most of them, wanting to be considered a person with feelings, was astounding.
Osferth goes for the evergreen pain play. Does it have any connection at all with his catholic upbringing? Of course it does, but he’s not aware of it.
Ice play for Aemond. His body runs on such high temperatures that anything slightly cool drives him crazy.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
For Aemond is the bedroom. The mattress is so comfortable, there’s the bathroom nearby and is, more important of all, safe. He can truly let go when he’s in the confines of their home.
Both reader and Osferth don’t have a favorite place, it depends on when the mood strikes and what they want to do in that precise moment.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
The mere existence of their partner gets the three of them going: Aemond parading around in a tank top and hair loose down his back or reader doing yoga in the living room or Osferth working on one of his DIY projects, your pick.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
The whole pain and tying act aspect of BDSM is a huge no for Aemond, also degradation is something he doesn’t like, he loves and respects his partners for God’s sake!
Ice play on herself is a big no for reader, she can manage on her partner though!
Ignore his partner’s safeword is the biggest no Osferth has. He’s had not so educated chats with self appointed doms who bragged about pushing their subs/partners beyond their safeword.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Reader is just natural at oral and she likes the power she wields over her partners when she’s blowing them. Hearing their moans and groans, feeling the desperate way they move under her, all of this give her a power trip that’s difficult to achieve otherwise.
Aemond eats pussy as a mean of comfort. His work life is hectic at best and he needs solace most of the times. The moments he’s learnt how not to choke on Osferth’s dick, he’s mastered all the ways to drive him crazy. He likes being on the receiving end but he’s the kind of guy to say “You don’t have to”, because his partners truly don’t have to blow him, if they don’t want to do it, he’s happy anyway, as long as they are happy and tell him how good he did.
Osferth is addicted to reader’s taste. Every time he’s away for some extended period of time, the first thing he does is falling on his knees and bury his face against her cunt until he’s satisfied. Likewise, he’s an happy man whenever he drives Aemond crazy, prolonging his orgasm as long as he can or playing with his poor prostate while he’s blowing him: anything to make sure he’s too stupid to think. He’s never going to say no to have his dick sucked, not when his partners are so gifted in the department!
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Aemond is, most of the times, slow and passionate, taking his time to savor his partner. When he’s especially charged, he becomes passionate, but never rough.
Reader depends on who she’s with. With Osferth she feels more confident with being rougher, than she’s with Aemond, with him she’s more careful and sweet. This doesn’t mean Osferth doesn’t get his fair share of slow lovemaking!
Osferth is, generally, more on the fast and rough side, always keeping in mind his partners’ safety and needs. He’s never shied away from taking his time and be slow and sensual, whenever the situation called for it.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Both reader and Osferth love quickies: their lives are often hectic, they don’t always have time to do anything else. Aemond tends not to go for a quickie, even when it’s been days since the last time he’s had his lovers, because he feels like he’s objectifying them, like he is using them for his pleasure only, not showering them with all his love and care.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Reader and Osferth love experimenting, buying new toys to try them out. They have been eyeing this huge sex armchair, which a) costs an eye and a lung, b) clashes with the style of the whole house c) it's truly so big they don't know where to put it.
Aemond is less curious than they are, sometimes he side eyes his lovers for their purchases. He is happy with what he likes and needs to think about trying out new things.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
The three of them have great stamina, either out of sheer stubbornness (Aemond and reader) or real energy (Osferth), they can go at it for a long period of time. Aemond is the one who can go for less rounds, just because he gets so stupid after orgasm that affects his refractory period.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
They have so many, varying from your run of the mill dildo, to the more extreme bondage stuff (shout-out for the more than 10 inch dildo monstrosity reader bought when she was drunk and forgot about). They use them during sex or when they are alone. One of the most beloved toys of Aemond, is a small bullet vibrator he can control using his phone; he and reader use it when he is away and misses her. Reader, being the shit stirrer that she is, managed to have dildos made from her boys' cocks, to play with when they are both away.Don’t ask Osferth about his favorite toy, he feels like he has to choose between his favorite child.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Both reader and Osferth are mean when they want to be. They adore teasing their partners, see how long they can last before breaking down. Aemond teases to make his lovers happy but he's not as much of an asshole as his lovers are. Whenever reader gets orgasm denial as punishment from Osferth, she goes to Aemond hoping he would put her out of her misery; he doesn't but consoles her with all his heart. On the other hand, Aemond parades around with these crop tops and low riding bottoms at home that leave his tummy exposed. His lovers truly believed that, at the start, he wasn't capable of seeing himself as a tease but now? That he's come to terms with his sexuality? Everyone knows what he's doing and that he's going to be fucked within a inch of his life, if he doesn't stop immediately.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Osferth is extremely loud when he subs, once he and reader had the cops called on them by his neighbors. He is not as vocal when he's not subbing, he usually groans a lot, though.
Aemond talks and moans a lot. The more he's teased, the louder he becomes.
Reader is a screamer, she makes a ruckus every single time she has sex. Thankfully the house is in the middle of nowhere!
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
Reader didn't realize immediately how free she felt, after the first time she had sex with Osferth. The realization hit her the day after, while she was cooking dinner: she had managed to have sex with the man she loved, she can overcome her trauma and enjoy sex again.
Osferth loves sex, it's a great way to connect with the ones he loves and it's fun. He's come to realize that he loves his partners so much that he would accept not to have sex with them, if they asked.
Aemond is usually the smartest person in the room, not when it comes to matters of the heart and sex. When they started, he was convinced that he had to like the very same things his lovers did, thus forcing himself to learn about practices that are big noes for himself. It took him a while to understand that he can have different tastes and still love his partners.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
Aemond is longer than Osferth and less thick, while Osferth's girth is bigger, while he's a bit shorter than him.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Osferth has trained himself not to fall asleep immediately afterwards, he needs to make sure his partners are safe and happy.
Aemond doesn’t really fall asleep but gets in a floaty state of post sex stupidity while his brain soaks in endorphines.
Reader always needs a moment before she can fall asleep, her orgasms short and soul shattering that she has to re calibrate herself before she can relax and fall asleep.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Osferth would call himself a whore, if the term weren't so charged. He has an healthy and high sex drive, he'd have sex everyday, if he could.
Aemond is close second. Due to the repressive way he was educated and his brand of trauma, he's taken him a while to accept it. He is still quiet about it and blushes a lot, but gives in to his urges happily.
Reader as well has a high sex drive. It doesn't help that both her lovers are so handsome that keeping her hands for herself is impossible.
Everything taglist: @ilikeitbetterangsty
Poly taglist : @fan-goddess, @notyour-valentine
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sunsafewriting · 1 year
Text
Keep Your Arms In - 1 Do A Flip extended cinematic universe
basically just extra one-shots sets in and after do a flip.
excerpt:
Diego forgets about the lie almost as soon as they leave the grocery store. He’s got other, more important things to think about, like how late he can convince Ava to let him stay up, and whether he’ll be able to get a tattoo like Shannon’s one day. 
Ava’s answers to his questions are, in this order: nine-thirty, and yes, one day, but for now, they can hit the mall kiosk that sells temporary tattoos. 
It’s not until they’re back at Ava’s place, unloading their bags, that he remembers their capsicum. 
“I don’t want to eat that,” he says, wrinkling his nose. 
“Nor do you have to,” Ava promises. “I’m going to try it, though. And you’d better start brainstorming vegetables you will eat, because otherwise you’ll get leprosy. Wait, that’s the wrong one. It’s the sailor one, isn’t it? Scurvy.” She taps her temple. “And Sister Frances thought Pirateology wasn’t an educational text.”
He watches her wash the capsicum, chop a chunk off, and pop it into her mouth. 
“Hmm, okay, that’s not winning any awards from me,” she declares, wrinkling her nose. “Nevermind, you were right. Capsicums suck.” 
“See?”
“It’s no broccoli, that’s for fucking sure.” She pauses. “Should I swear in front of you less? Now that I’m a responsible adult, and everything.” 
Diego shrugs. “I don’t know.” 
That ship has probably well and truly sailed, but they Google it anyway, just to be safe.  
For the next several months, Diego lives a blissfully capsicum-free life. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner at St Michael’s are mostly the same, day in and day out, even if the options have become slightly more nutritional since Mother Superion arrived and overhauled everything. 
When he’s with Ava, they experiment with all sorts of different foods — some he finds he likes and some he finds he doesn’t. It becomes a tradition of theirs. Ava doesn’t have enough money for them to do anything really crazy, but picking out something from the grocery store that neither of them has ever had before is always affordable and always fun. 
It’s still just their thing, even once Beatrice is there, because Ava has never wavered in her promise to keep the things he wants to be just Ava and Diego as just Ava and Diego. But at a certain point, it feels stupid to keep doing it without Beatrice, when like everything else, it would probably be even more fun with her. 
Also, he’s kind of excited to show her their notebook, which is the closest thing he and Ava have ever managed to meticulous record-keeping. 
He presents their ledger while they’re having lunch at Ava’s apartment on a Saturday — the three of them sitting cross-legged on the floor in the living room, because Ava maintains that sandwiches shouldn’t be eaten at a table, that such formality is an affront to the spirit of the sandwich. 
“What’s this?” Beatrice asks, when he hands her the notebook. 
“It’s all the different foods Ava and I have tried this year. And whether we think they’re yuck or not.” 
“Writing it down makes it science,” Ava says wisely. “Learned that from MythBusters. ” 
Diego’s dogeared the page of their most recent entry, and Beatrice opens the book there, reads their review of pineapple upside down cake.
“Is it perhaps slightly unfair to penalise the cake for tasting burned when that’s not an inherent quality of pineapple upside down cake?” she asks, dragging her finger across the line where Ava’s written their criticism. 
“It’s like the Olympics,” Ava replies. “Doesn’t matter how good you are, it’s all about what you bring to the arena on the day. We can only judge based on what’s in front of us.” 
“Also, we got distracted making giant soap bubbles,” Diego explains. “And we had the oven on too high.” 
Once they’ve tried something and it’s gone into the book, Diego doesn’t usually think about it too much anymore. There seem to be repeats of things he really loves and not of things he hates, but he doesn’t really, properly think about the fact that this means that Ava and Beatrice remember .
Or, at least, he doesn’t think about it until the day that they’re cooking together.
Ava’s ducked next door to help Camila with her fire alarm, which won’t stop going off, so it’s just Diego and Beatrice in the kitchen. 
He watches, with moderate to extreme dismay, as she pulls a capsicum out of the grocery bag she’s brought with her. She washes it thoroughly in the sink, just like the zucchini before it, and then slices it up. This time, though, rather than dumping all the slices into the bowl, she offers him one. 
“They’re your favourite, yes?” she says. 
Diego’s chest tightens suddenly, unexpectedly. He can count the number of people who’ve ever bothered to learn his favourite anything on one hand without even needing to use all his fingers. 
But Beatrice only thinks capsicums are his favourite because he and Ava are liars and he doesn’t even understand why they lied, but they did, and now Beatrice is being so kind to him, and her kindness is in capsicum form and it’s like God is punishing him for being deceitful. 
The piece of capsicum looks red and evil — but Beatrice is smiling at him, and he can’t let her down, so he accepts it, thanks her, and shoves it into his mouth. 
It’s wretched, spicy and cold. Still, he swallows. 
“Let me know if you want more, okay? Once it’s in this, you won’t really be able to taste it.”
Diego tries not to let the relief show on his face. 
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anonomi · 5 months
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Random Spy x Pyro hcs
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Pyro likes how fancy and gentlemannly Spy is, even if it's not really their style. They gush over the simple things, like Spy pulling their chair for them or opening the door. Nobody has ever treated them like that before.
Pyro holds tea parties and Spy absolutely attends them. He brings his own biscuits and even his own tea, because while Pyro likes playing pretend, there's no reason they can't use the fancy teacups for actually drinking tea. Pyro drinks theirs through a silly straw.
Spy likes how Pyro smells. Especially at the fact he can even smell them at all; his sense of smell has dulled due to his constant smoking, but Pyro is very pungent with how sharp gasoline can be. Even dried blood. Spy hates the latter but learned to enjoy the former, because it reminds him of gas stations, dark nights, and of course, Pyro.
Spy is very picky about physical contact, both because of his own boundaries and because of his expensive clothes. He makes a lot of exceptions for Pyro, but overall prefers simple things like holding hands or sitting next to each other. Doesn't stop Pyro from giving him the occasional hug, but they make sure their suit is clean and that Spy can get out of it anytime he wants (which he rarely does).
Spy has a huge knife collection and lets Pyro paint some of them, particularly the duplicates. His favourite knife is the one that is balloonicorn themed but he uses it sparingly, because he doesn't want to damage it.
Spy lights his cigarette from the pilot light of Pyro's flamethrower from time to time. It is not safe and actually more of a hassle than getting out his lighter, but he enjoys the view of looking up at the flamethrower and Pyro. Plus, it shows that he trusts them with their finger on the trigger.
Pyro gave Spy his own balloonicorn plush, Reindoonicorn because it's apparently fancy like him. He keeps it on his bed but does not sleep with it... but usually wakes up with it in his arms (which is a secret he keeps to the grave)
Pyro had a problem with being too quiet and mumbling their words, making them even harder to understand through the filter. But Spy, being a master of disguises and voices, helped them project their voice and enunciate their words.
They share words together sometimes on paper or in a little notebook, writing out conversations back when Spy had trouble understanding them and when his knowledge of ASL was the bare basics. Pyro's handwriting has capital letters mixed in with the littles written like the words they'd read in a children's book, while Spy's is cursive and round.
They share that notebook of their written conversations, but Pyro is usually the one who keeps it. Occasionally they flip through it to reminisce and giggle over Spy's overly fancy handwriting.
Pyro is more used to drawing animals than people and made Spy his own unicornsona. Pyro also draws themself as a unicorn, but one with a cute little tail, while Spy's is the more traditional medieval long one. Spy likes the decision.
Lots of parallel play here. Spy either reads through the latest catalogue of Mann.co daily or is meticulously cleaning his knives. Nearby Pyro is either drawing on a sketchpad Spy got them (because he couldn't bare to see them drawing on Engineer's discarded blueprints anymore, made it hard to see the art) or doing the same, cleaning their flamethrower and axe. Completely silent but together.
Pyro enjoys giving gifts to Spy, but they are not too knowledgeable in the kind of stuff he likes. Like fancy clothes or some shade of wine, but they prefer making their gifts anyway. They give him drawings of himself, a pack of cigarettes they thought he'd like, sometimes something softer like a blanket or scarf. On the surface Spy accepts it all with an easy smile but underneath he is absolutely jumping with joy.
They enjoy standing outside at night during Spy's evening smoke, where they trace constellations together and talk about all sorts of stuff. This close Spy can sometimes see Pyro's eyes through the lens, and Pyro can see his guard falter as he relaxes into what they carved together.
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fan-mans · 29 days
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So. u said you've got plenty of hcs for our man aran.
and like. mind listing some of those? to accompany narcis ones & stuff? ty!! 👀👀
- erporo
(first hc post here)
Ah ha ha ha ha @erporo
YOU FOOL
you've unleashed a complete monster!!!
*explodes and drops 4 pages of these where my body once was*
Okay so I'm gonna start with the long, convoluted backstory I gave him plus random life things tee hee
(For the purposes of this story, Aran's gonna use he/him throughout)
He was a bit of a surprise because he was born a bit earlier than expected. His parents were working out of town, on the island of Inis Mór (The largest of the Aran islands) and he ended up being born in some lady's garden on the 7th of April at 4 pm weighing exactly 8 pounds. (Take note of this, it will be important)
After taking him to a hospital, he was cleared for any problems, but as they left, his parents noticed that his birth certificate was messed up and went to get a new one from a hospital in their own county (This detail will be very important later)
Aran grows up on a sheep and goat farm in Donegal with his family. Irish ends up being his first language and he's stubborn on learning English. He learns to dance (Particularly Sean-nós) and play traditional instruments and grows a knack for painting, sculpting and drawing too.
His childhood is pretty normal for a poor farm kid living in a small village of only a few hundred people. He learns a lot about caring for animals and gets a lot of skill around farrier work (Taking care of horse hooves and making/fitting horseshoes). He also grows quite superstitious due to how much his grandmother teaches him and insists that the odd prevalence of 4 and 7 in his life are no mere coincidence.
He gets bullied in school and definitely ostracized by others but he pushes through as normal until he's 14. Only a month into his first year of high school, his grandfather dies out on the field and much of the flock and savings are stolen. His mother also gets seriously sick after having his youngest siblings and can't work for months due to poor care from a nurse.
So, as excited as he was to be in high school, Aran drops out and takes care of his siblings in his mother's place, willing to lose his education for the sake of theirs. During this time, he also gets extra money running errands and babysitting for locals.
During one babysitting gig, a woman who certainly doesn't live in town drops off quite a load of cash and her baby before leaving. She does not return until a year later to drop off another baby. Of course the Ryans are infuriated and end up adopting the boys as their 10th and 11th children respectively.
Aran becomes an extra parent to his siblings as his mother recovers, spending whatever free time he has either helping out or doing odd jobs to keep everyone alive. When his mom is okay again, and their lost flock found, it's been two years and a now 16 year old Aran can't return to school to any reasonable degree. He still has his odd jobs, but he now finds himself with a lot more free time. He ends up honing his art skills and starting a fight club with a gaggle of other kids to relieve stress.
This fight club stumbles into a bit of luck, when a crew of athletes end up stopping into the local pub and causing a scene. Aran and his friends end up using their skills, in part taken from collar and elbow wrestling, and get a handle on the adults and kick them out. Aran is particularly ferocious and his energy catches the attention of the men's manager.
Said manager returns a little while later and hunts all of the kids in the fight down and personally invites them to step into boxing. Aran proves himself as a capable fighter to the manager, taking on a low ranking adult and easily beating him. From there Aran is brought into the boxing world and brings in a healthy amount of money to his family
Of course, all this traveling leads him to coming across a load of interesting people, particularly trans people, and leads him to realize he's a trans man. His family is confused and unsupportive and an extremely angry and stifled Aran, already stressed from his abusive girlfriend, decides to run away at 19.
He ends up hitchhiking his way to Dublin, but there's one problem- he doesn't have a birth certificate
Unfortunately, all those years ago, his parents never got a new one, despite many years of trying and that left poor Aran in legal limbo. 'Luckily' for him, he gets a break when, in return for boxing for a shady group, he's offered a litany of fake documents and get on his way to a career and transitioning.
For 3 years, this is Aran's life, boxing with a fake id and a fake life, transitioning, and paying half his salary to this group. He's comfortable, but he's sad. He misses his family and is growing to hate his employers. So he phones home.
His eldest sister picks up and almost screams when she realizes who it is. They talk about what's happened since he left an make plans to break it to their parents and grandma gently with the rest of their sibling's help.
When Aran calls the second time, he gets to have a long conversation with his mom, dad, and grandma- a lot of apologies pass around, everyone cries at least three times, and they're all happy that he's still okay. His parents and grandma finally accept him and offer to bring him home. But there's still the problem of the shady gang that got him his faked documents.
After a bit of planning, Aran heads home, with the leader of the gang in tow, promising a grand gift for all the help he's given Aran.
This is a trap.
Aran leads him into the local pub, where the gang leader is threatened by about a hundred odd people with various weapons. The leader surrenders, accepts some money to keep quiet and not bother Aran anymore and leaves.
Aran, now back home, continues his career, doing fights across nearby towns and occasionally dipping into Galway or Dublin for big fights, giving his money to his family.
From here the WVBA takes quick notice of him. They offer him a job in New York and, seeing the paycheck and line of work, Aran can't bring himself to refuse. So he goes, his documents still fake, and gets the job without a hitch. Of course, he also starts cheating, knowing the ranks of the wvba are filled with cheaters galore, going as far as to steal form the nypd's horses for his weapons.
All this goes fine until one day he slips up in front of his manager, stating his real age instead of the one listed on all of his documents. He backtracks and then resorts to pleading, terrified he's gonna be kicked out of the country but Mr dream is a good guy and not only allows him to stay, but petitions for him to get corrected stuff specifically so he can stay.
^ (this excludes some details but is the main deal)
His entire life revolves around the numbers 7 and 4 (Among other luck symbols). From the moment he was born they were big factors in his life. No one in his family is quite sure why he specifically has such 'luck' but they all have their theories-
His siblings think half of it is a strange, if cool, coincidence while the other is of his own subconscious doing (Such as owning/making/doing things in sets of 4 or 7 exactly)
Mam and da think it's a little supernatural, maybe a little gift of luck from god
His gran is special: she's sure it's the work of faeries and told him as much growing up. Grandad didn't have as strong belief as her but also encouraged said thinking. He liked letting his first grandchild feel special and learn to love the magic in the mundane. Gran firmly believes it's a gift and a blessing that he should appreciate- it's not often that faeries bless humans after all
But not everyone in his family thinks of it so well… While his da's family is more cool headed about all of it, his ma's (Or rather his ma's sister and mother) are very uncool about it
They're kinda fanatic and the type of people who look at shit like Wizard 101 and claim its the work of Satan.
Although his maternal grandma wasn't allowed to see him because of such behavior, his aunt was. The first thing she did when she heard her mother-in-law's theory that he was blessed by faeries, she put little Aran in a box with a bit of iron and left him in a nearby field to die. (Great lady, I know.)
Luckily Aran was found quickly (Exactly 12 minutes later) and his aunt was banned from the house. Aran's aunt and maternal grandma still act as if he's the devil to this day.
His mental health (And generally the mental health of his family) is... so bad. They're the types who are very used to it so they never question things like obvious signs of adhd or autism because it's so normal to them.
Aran himself is really hard to diagnose not only cause he's very wary abt doctors, but because his symptoms are very volatile and all over the place.
Pinning them down under one diagnosis is really hard cause like he's got obsessions/compulsions like he has ocd (Mostly around superstition, luck and 'bad luck')
A phobia of the number 13 and similar symbols of bad luck
Has nightmares and definitely panic attacks around causing himself bad luck and traumatic events in his life He's had bouts of paranoia
And when he's paranoid he also tends to develop delusions and occasionally hallucinate as well (Mostly these come on top of things triggering him or if he hasn't taken good care of himself)
All this on top of adhd and autism
He does get help eventually tho.
As an adult, he has nightmares when left to sleep alone, which is actually from a traumatizing incident where a guy just tried to kidnap him when he was little
Now for other random things:
Very bitter and untrustworthy towards all people because he's been very ostracized by the world, but rich people get the worst of his anger (esp if they're British). This is a HUGE character flaw of his that, with a lot of time and effort he learns to let go of and stop being a shithead.
He can get very defensive and aggressive towards people as a safety mechanism for himself
He gets quite heated in debates, esp politics and history, and has punched people more than once
While aran has a serious sailor's mouth, he actually scolds kids when they swear- big brother instinct
His twin siblings have a similar bit of 'luck' with the number 2- though not to the extent he has
Because of his falsified documents, the age listed on his profile and his weight are both wrong (The wvba in general is shit at keeping proper track of this shit). In reality, he's 200 lbs and 28.
He does not trust doctors at all- he isn't an antivaxxer or anything, but he'd never willingly enter a hospital
Aran likes the smell of irish spring a lot so he wears it
He also likes lucky charms- first ironically but then the marshmallows got to him
He uses 'poggers' as a covert/cutesy nickname for kisses (cause pog in irish means kiss)
Aran would live in a very cluttered, run down apartment, full of knicknacks and posters and covered in his dirty laundry and dog toys
Aran either smells like potatoes beer and fresh cut grass, a sweaty sewer, or peat metal and a nice hint of vanilla- really depends on the day
Believes in zodiac stuff because of his superstition
Aran can fall asleep to pretty much any song sung by a woman with a deep voice (Ex: fast car by tracy chapman) because it reminds him of his mom's singing :)
He has a bit of a nicotine habit, but curbs the effects of cigs when he really needs one by sharing it with someone else
Aran sees the entire world circuit and eventually everyone in branch a as some sort of family
Aran sometimes forgets to eat/doesn't have the energy to cook every so often- so he just makes a big bowl of instant mashed potatoes and eats it in one sitting
Aran named his flail Macha, after an irish goddess of war and death and horses. He loves it to death and treats it as a good luck charm!
He likes horses and goats a lot- they're some of his favorite animals
He's also a not-so-secret fan of cheeseburgers, it's his favorite food lmao
has read homestuck and stans gamzee
Aran has a flip phone for a long time cause in his house the wall phone was the most recent piece of tech they had- so handheld stuff scared him
he still types like an old man
During the off season, he becomes p unrecognizable- letting hair (esp beard) grow out and packing on pounds. He honestly looks indistinguishable from his dad
One of his favorite bands is the dropkick murphys
He doesn't mid bras but he hates underwire and thinks it's evil
He's either a funny drunk or a broody drunk, depending on who he's with
Aran LOVES his beer- he's a bit of a snob about it actually
He's also big on coffee
If you don't think this man wouldn't jump at the chance to roll down a hill and play in a meadow, you're wrong
if he gets the chance to, he'll always make a flower crown
All his siblings have 'm' names except the youngest two, he did as well before he changed it, but he still responds to various nicknames related to his old name
Because of his phobia of the number 13- he used to be scared of sandman
Although he's superstitious around them, he doesn't hate black animals or even think of hurting them like some other people. Instead he'll 'fix' his luck by seeking out a white animal of the same type (Black cat cross his path? Seek out a white cat to pet to fix the luck)
He has a few paces of iron jewelry he takes with him everywhere... just to be safe
he's been arrested more times than he can count- mostly for small things like vandalizing, petty theft, fighting a cop, etc.
One of his favorite stims is tapping his head- it helps him focus
Aran sometimes forgets things he just said, or straight up doesn't register words coming out of his mouth- that 'pretty like my sister' comment was just random word jumble and didn't mean anything
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finniestoncrane · 2 years
Text
NSFW Alphabet: Gotham!Riddler x Reader
One of my NSFW A-Zs. Feel free to send me more character requests. This one is about muppet-smile over here, Gotham!Eddie. request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi minors DNI!! 🔞 cw for nsfw stuff, kinks mentioned throughout
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A = Aftercare (what they're like after sex)
Precious, sweet Ed is getting straight up as soon as he's finished to bring you a glass of water, a snack if you're hungry, and collecting your clothes from the floor and folding them neatly for later. He'll get back into the bed behind you, holding you close and resting his chin on your shoulder while he grins his silly little smile and nuzzles your neck. You're definitely being praised and thanked like there was no tomorrow.
B = Body part (favourite part of theirs and their partner's)
He loves his neck. It's slender but strong looking, and he likes the way his Adam's apple looks. Trace your fingers along it and he'll come undone. In a partner, he likes strong and unique facial features. Cheek dimples, cleft chin, bumpy/crooked/bigger nose, scarring. He likes something interesting to look at when he's gazing lovingly at you.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum)
Ed can take it or leave it. It doesn't bother him, he doesn't find it disgusting at all. In fact he's pretty comfortable with everything you find inside a body, and rarely gets icked out by much. But it's still a mess he'd rather not deal with. If he can cum inside of you, with or without a condom, great. Otherwise, he'd rather finish into some tissue.
D = Dirty Secret (something they keep hidden)
He has, on occasion, considered choking you during sex for just a little bit longer than you might be able to handle. The control, the panic, the adrenaline of having someone's life in his hands is all very exciting to him. But he wouldn't dare mention that. He has a piece of paper saying he's sane after all, and wanting to instil fear in his partner isn't necessarily normal.
E = Experience (how experienced are they in bed)
Bless his heart but he's not very experienced at all. Which he seems oddly shy about, but really it's endearing and suggests he's into making a connection with someone first, which makes you feel nice and wanted. He's also big into learning and finding things out, so he'll be quick to figure out how to do things right and how to do them to your preferred specifications. It's a nice adventure for you to go on together.
F = Favourite Position
He’s a missionary man! Traditional, puts him in a position of control, plus he gets to gaze down at you lovingly? Ticks all the boxes. BUT it also lends itself to something a little bit more raunchy and passionate if he wants to hold your legs up against or over his shoulders.
G = Goofy (are they serious in the moment?)
Yeah, he has a bit of a dark streak. But even his horrible, heinous crimes and schemes have all had a little bit of mischief in them. So you can bet he's light-hearted and a bit silly in bed. Wouldn't put it past him to throw a riddle out every so often, if the moment calls for it. Which is never does. But when has that ever stopped him before?
H = Hair (how well groomed are they?)
His pubic hair is just as tidy as season 1 Ed's actual hair. And the thing is, it kind of just grows like that? Weird. It's immaculately groomed, a nice length and always strangely tidy. His armpit hair is feral and unruly though omg.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment, romantic aspect)
He's such a romantic, caring and thoughtful person, so he loves being intimate with you. He'll extend this romance into everything he does for you. Kissing, holding your hand, taking you on sweet dates, making you breakfast, and especially when you're making love, because what he does isn't fucking. He holds you and takes time to respond to your body, making sure it's as pleasurable as possible for you.
J = Jack Off (masturbation headcanon)
Only if the notion takes him. It's not compulsive or even something he thinks about. He likes edging and torturing himself, so even if he has spied you wearing something tight, or has somehow miraculously managed to kiss you without it leading to anything, he'll savour the build up of desire until he has to have you. He likes to help you masturbate you, or watch you touch yourself while he sits back, not allowed to touch. But if you could let him taste your fingers afterwards that would be just swell.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Ed's kind of a hybristophiliac, on both ends of that spectrum. He likes it when people are attracted to his crimes and he's also attracted to people who commit crimes, or can at least convincingly play bad for him. By nature, the man is a cuckold, and likes watching you with other partners occasionally. He needs a lot of aftercare after this though, which involves you telling him he's better than anyone else you've been with and no one does it like he can. He enjoys the look and feel of leather. Wearing it, touching it, being spanked and spanking with it. PVC also works, the shinier and more 'wet look' the better.
L = Location (favourite places to do the do)
Ed's usually a bed kind of guy, only because of the romantic intimacy of having you in the place where he sleeps. However, he'd love to bend you over the counter while you were cooking together. Something about the cute teamwork drives him wild. And he'd be lying if he said he had never thought of, regardless of how grossly inappropriate and kind of really weird it was, fucking you on the M.E. table. What? Leave him alone!
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
His partner wearing his clothes. The idea of you smelling like him, or just loving him so much you want to mirror him? Hng. He definitely would ask you to wear his glasses sometimes, to see how cute you are, or to see if he can fuck you hard enough that they fall off.
N = NO (something they wouldn’t do)
Choking. For reasons.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving)
Ed's ok at giving oral sex, although he can get a bit pedantic, which might often seem more tedious than passionate. But his heart is in the right place. He enjoys receiving though, particularly the idea of just soaking his cock in your mouth without you really sucking or licking. Just let him keep it in there. He also likes getting his ass ate, a lot. When you put your tongue flat against him and moan so it fibrates through his body??? Oof. And he's surprisingly filthy, in that he would want you to spread him and spit in his hole.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual?
He's a slow and sensual lover boy. There's enthusiasm and passion, but it's romantic and gentle more than rough and intense. He just prefers being able to bask in a feeling or an emotion or a particular sound you make, truly absorbing it and revelling in it before moving on to the next thing. It's experimental for him too, and being able to be slow and precise means he can take better notes on what makes you make various noises.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex)
Ed's not a quickie kind of guy. He needs time to plan and prepare. He doesn't do anything half-assed, and he likes the anticipation of a sexual encounter. If you were desperate, he might indulge you, but for him, sex should be something you look forward to and dream about rather than something you go at hard in a random moment.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment?)
Ed will try anything once. And just like murder, it's safe to say he'll probably become a little bit addicted to it. Any type of roleplay or fetish you want to dive into, he's more than happy to work it out with you. In fact, risks, when calculated and deemed to be acceptably safe (a bit of an oxymoron) excite him. He'll experiment with some public sex, he'll make out with you when he knows the police are coming, he'll take you to the roof and dry hump you on a ledge. He's a freaky lil guy.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
Ed's a bit average in this area, which there's nothing wrong with. He's not above pacing himself so that you can cum multiple times if you need to, but he's not really quick to action once he's spent the first time. He's spindly and sprightly though, and despite his long limbs making him a little bit clumsy, his movements are usually smooth and paced enough that he can last a very long time.
T = Toy (do they own toys? do they use them?)
If he owns a dildo, it's a glass one. And it's green coloured. Otherwise, he's not necessarily into toys. However, he definitely likes ropes. Definitely up for playing around with shibari and kinbaku and is OBSESSED with how your skin looks under them. The patience, skill and mastery are all huge turn-ons for him.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
He's not much of a tease, he knows how cruel it is to be tortured and mocked and wouldn't even want to do that in a playful way with someone he loved. But, he will sometimes hold back on you until you've told him the answer to a riddle, just to see the cogs in your brain turn as you try to desperately work it out to get your reward.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make)
Good luck getting him to shut up, to be honest. He loves praising you during sex. He's forever telling you how good it feels. And aside from that, he barely makes any effort at all to conceal his satisfaction. Moans, groans, breathy whimpers and lots of whining are all permanent fixtures.
W = Wild Card (a random headcanon)
He has a definite pet kink, and enjoys training and implementing rules and regulations for your play. He's got a collection of collars and leads that match his outfits for you to wear. His vibes are always soft-dom though, so there's lot of aftercare and plenty of calling you a very good pet who is very well behaved.
X = X-Ray (let’s see what’s going on in those pants)
His cock is long and skinny, like the rest of him. He's working with 7 inches of slightly below average thickness, but it curves up and to the left so he has a unique sensation when he's inside of you.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
His sex drive isn't anything more or less than an average person of his age. The important thing though is that Ed is a hopeless romantic at heart, and prefers the pining and sexual tension to actual sex sometimes. So while he has an average sex drive, he will postpone anything sexual to increase the anticipation and desire in himself and a partner.
Z = ZZZ (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Not until you're asleep, at least. And even then, he's striving to stay awake just a little while longer so that he can adoringly watch you as you sleep next to him, playing with your hair, stroking your arm, and kissing your shoulder before wrapping himself around you and snuggling up close. It's important that he gets to cherish you when you're at your most peaceful and satisfied.
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alolanrain · 2 years
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(Champion Disaster AU) Could this be possible?
Papa Kukui being so damn proud Ash has two championship titles, but put-off at the same time cause Ash is supposed to be theirs. But at the same time how can he ask Ash to choose between Alola and his birth-Region? Cue Kukui and Lance/Drake passive aggresive competition of which one loves Ash more.
Bcs Ash is literally the Alolan Sun - that boy breathes and lives Alola even without being born there! But Ash has been the poster boy for young Battle Trainers in Kanto since his popularity rose in the Silver Conference, which kept rising internationally due to his continuous Regional League participation! He has Trainers from all over the world coming over to Pallet Town just to see his Pokemons or ask them for battles. (Trainers who are rude get a free trip to Route 1 and left to the mercy of Spearow Flock, with specific instructions to Pidgeot "help only to prevent death, don't wanna give Ash a bad name" which was agreed wholeheartedly). Sometimes even veterans like Gym Leaders/Elite Fours/Frontier Brains/Champions visit the Ranch out of curiosity or just for fun. (Oh don't forget his rivals who were lowkey offended Ash didn't go all out on them in the League; cause they never checked his Trainer Record until someone mentioned knowing him from tv).
But Ash has also become an idol in Alola almost at the level of Kukui's "Masked Royal" for Pokemon Battling - in fact, there's an influx of kids wanting to pursue battling in Alola post-Manalo Conference! (On the downside, the Kahunas have been rejecting many foreign Trainers who asked for Trials yet have no respect for their tradition and are obviously only after the power behind the Z-Rings. But at least the Tapus have been having lots of fun showing those same ppl why Alola has low crime rates).
“Why can’t I be both?” Ash asked. Tilting his head in confusion and looked between Kukui, Lance, and Drake who were basically bristling at each other like angry Persians. “I don’t see how I can’t be both?”
“It’s a hard job, kid-“ Drake looked away from the Professor to try and let Ash down gently. Always the mediator when it comes down to it by heart, which is something Ash continually looks up to in Drake, but it’s not something he needs know.
“I’ve been both for some time now!” Ash complained. “Like… at least a solid year and a half now.”
Drake seemed to have had enough and lowered his shoulders from their tensed position. Allowing Kukui and Lance to focus on each other and keep basically growling like feral cat Pokémon which Ash was starting get irritated by. He was glad Pikachu was out of the room, playing with some of the other free roaming Pokémon of the International HQ. No doubt the mouse would have probably shocked everyone now from the tense atmosphere.
“Ash.” Drake tried again but the young adult raised his hand to stop him. Eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
“It’s not like you’re retiring.” Ash pointed out. “We can continue doing this,” he waved a hand between him and the three adults who now were looking at him instead of glaring at each other, “as it’s obviously been working just fine. This allows you to keep your pay income the almost exact same as it was before. Hell, I don’t even need the money with how often I get paid for saving the earth.”
“That is true.” Iris muttered and made a slightly offended noise when Alder gently shouldered her to get her to quite down.
“I can continue being the poster boy for Kanto while also simultaneously being Alola’s first Champion. We can talk to some higher up league members and ask what we could do about Alola’s traditions, maybe we can make some kind of test that people would have to take before bringing it to the Kahunas. Actually have people learn about Alola’s history before deciding they still want to try the trials and if they get the go ahead from the Kahuna’s, their golden.” Ash continued on. Reaching out and plucking a sheet of stray lined piece of paper from a neat pile in the middle and taking the pen Steven wordlessly offered him. Scribbling down the plan in his messy scrawl and outlining Alola at the top before outlining the words Kanto and Orange Isles under the other.
“Drake can actually take this time to slowly start introducing me to more plans for the Islands and into more meetings so I can get a feel for ‘governing’,” Ash’s fingers curled twice in the air before his hands dropped back down to the paper and continued scribbling, “two Regions, much like Lance himself.”
“Huh.” Kukui muttered. Tilting his head to the side as he thought about what Ash had said so far. It wasn’t a bad idea and maybe even one the Kahunas would agree too with a little persuasion or debate. “That doesn’t sound to bad, kiddo.”
With Kukui’s admission and Ash’s own shoulders visibly slumping down in relief, because now there wouldn’t be a fist fight between the Professor and Champion that he or someone else would have to break up, Lance backed down from his own bristling state. Not nearly satisfied like the other two men but it was a start.
“Maybe we can also have me start accompanying Lance more as well, when I’m not in Alola.” Ash started up again. Being a bit more cautious now that he had Lance’s full attention. He never really got rid of that ten year old hero worship that he grew up with but it’s not something that affected his decision’s daily. “Like on little things like press releases or PR events, that aren’t to boring.” Ash was quick to add the last part.
“Heven forbid a bored Ash.” Cynthia mocked slightly and that got a slight round of chuckles around the room. Everyone knowing just how much trouble Ash could cause while bored, let alone the mayhem he would be able to cause with an equally as bored Lance.
“It’s something we can discuss later in more detail, no?” Ash asked. Unafraid to admit he used his puppy eyes on the adults around him, just a tad though.
It worked as Lance finally let go of his tensed stance and sat back down next to Alder and Drake. Shoulders slumping as he rubbed his neck and rolled his shoulders. He looked back at Kukui who raised his own eyebrow at the dual Champion. Amusement danced in most of the occupying rooms eyes as a blush of embarrassment dusted over Lance’s face as the man frowned and closed his eyes.
“Yeah,” he muttered almost to quietly,” yeah, that can probably work.”
Ash’s resounding “yes!” Echoed enough that someone from the next room over to them banged on the wall. Causing the big to flinch in surprise and another round of laughter to spring from everyone else.
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palettepainter · 10 months
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Tell me every single idea you have about Anastasia and Tina PLEASE
I must know their dynamic
Be careful what you ask for-
Adjusting a bit of info on Anastasia's past but overall it mostly remains the same
Spoilers to Muppets Mayhem if you haven't seen it! Which you should have by now it's amazing
-So Tina says the dental practise is a family business. This is only half true. Anastasia grew up dirt poor, but thanks to her spunks and charms as a kid she was a very beloved kid of the town and by her neighbours. Anastasia's family, as well as possessing weird magic (Anastasia likes to change up the story of how it was her family discovered they had magic, when in reality, no one actually knows), have always been very, very good cooks: pretty much any traditional New Orleans dish they can make. Anastasia and her parents eventually found work in a food pantry/soup kitchen, their food becoming so popular that they took over the establishment when the previous owner retired. While Anastasia was happy she was bored of small town life, so joined a travelling circus young, went on to meet her long best friend Nemis and get offered a place in a gifted girls school, but she then returned back to her roots in New Orleans where she resides in the bayou
-Tina as an adult is nothing like her child self. Tina was an adventurous, rambunctious little sweetheart with a heart of gold, and Anastasia adores her. Anastasia works as a fortune teller and sells magically enchanted objects, while also making occasionally appearances in the soup kitchen which she passed onto one of the trusted volunteers to care for. Tina never did get any magical abilities like Anne, which though was a little shocking, Anastaisa still loved her little wild gooseberry! Since Tina didn't have magic Anne and her bonded through their love and talent for baking, half the time it ended in a mess but they had fun
-(I did a bit of research for this one on New Orleans and witch craft so please correct me if I got another wrong!) While witchcraft and the practise of voodoo are popular in New Orleans, with those who practise voodoo using spirits as guides to give answers, host healing rituals through dance and music, often being seen as very wise and knowing, the whole idea of witchcraft outside of New Orleans has a pretty bad rep. Tina would eventually learn of this through tourists who weren't local that would give her mother weird stares and whisper things not so quietly behind their backs. In her teen years, when Tina was her most self conscious as any other teen is, she no longer liked it when her mother would use funny made up words in public, she didn't like it when her mother would randomly burst into dance with locals, or when she coed over a little swarm of baby gators, and especially when she'd wrap her long noodly arms around her and pull her into a sudden hug. Anastasia can be a bit overbearing without realising, and at the time didn't understand Tina's need for space, which eventually lead to Tina going to uni like Anne and Arthur did where she met Gerald (Gerald is the one with the family dental practise)
-Things that follow are sorta like how things went in the greatest showman. Tina is introduced to Gerald's family at their dental practise and gets a taste of what a more...well, normal living is like away from all the strangeness her mother seems to radiate. Anne is of course happy for Tina, but can't help but feel that - after a while - maybe, Tina might just be...avoiding her? Tina's always around at this Gerald's house with his family, why couldn't Tina bring Gerald over to theirs for dinner?? It's not like Anne couldn't easily cook up food for them? This eventually leads to tension between Anne and Tina, which goes on for years (for a little while Anne was incredibly bitter towards Gerald, not wanting to admit that maybe she might be at fault - after seeing the error of her ways she sends Gerald a very big I'm sorry letter and they've since made amends). Any interaction between Tina and Anne in public is laced with awkwardness from both parties: Tina often putting on her cheery, best worker smile face while trying to wrap up the conversation while Anne tries to be polite, but can't quite help it if she's a little blunt - still feeling like Tina was trying to shove her out of the picture
-It's only when Gerald and Tina find out they're gonna have a son does Gerald convince Tina to try and make amends with Anne. Anne is of course very surprised when Tina shows up on the doorstep one day, but can't suppress her joy when she's told she's going to be a grandma. Things go smoothly for a few years, if you don't count the times Tina tried to persuade her mother to move into a home, everything was looking to be getting better!...However, Tina still had so many rules for Anne when it came to Teeth, it made Anne feel like Tina didn't trust her. Yes she lives in a bayou, yes she feeds the crocs like they're big, scary pigeons but she's not a hazard to her grandson. Anne follows the rules with a roll of her eyes and a promise she'll keep Teeth safe...well, most of the rules anyway. I'm not too sure what exactly, but eventually while Anne and Teeth are out on the bayou having a little fun grandma, grandson adventure, Teeth ends up loosing his tooth (picture that scene with Denis from Hotel Translvania 2). Teeth is perfectly unharmed despite loosing his tooth and happily shows it to his mother...who had a passionate reaction at the news.
Gerald takes Teeth outside to the dental bus while Tina and Anastasia have a very long "talk" inside. Both got angry and may have said some hurtful things, things they both regret and didn't really mean at the time. Any other meetings Teeth had with his grandma where rare, it took a lot of begging to get his mother to agree. Anastasia pretends nothing ever happened whenever Teeth as a kiddo would ask about that day, but as a young adult he learns that maybe theres some unsettled issues between his Momma and Grammy
-Eventually after the events of Muppets Mayhem Tina and Anastasia reunite after years and fix things, it takes a bit of work, but they soon learn how to be family again
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tiny-tigers · 8 months
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Yeah I reckon he was too far away, and his head would've been scrambled seeing how much pain Jack was in 😭 Glad the other tigers checked in on him though! 🙏🏻💕
In a way it might've been better that all Jacks friends & family were there so they could rally around him post game? Who knows...I would want my people around me but that's just me! 😢
No offence taken - Fred wasn't particularly brilliant at all and that yellow card was so silly! I'm reading more and more comments after every game slating him though as if he isn't constantly one of the best England players on the pitch 😫😞
I still don't think they're loaded money wise, and most farmers nowadays seem to just break even so I'd say they're often 'land rich - money poor' if that makes sense?? Also papa stew went to the same school so I wonder if its like a family tradition? Just like that middle name of theirs?
I think as the team has already been named, they will definitely keep JVP doing recovery with World Cup squad!! They will need him learning plays/game plans and all that can be done as an inactive! Also I get the feeling that Borthers doesn't actually like Mitchell that much? I wouldn't be surprised if he brings Raffi in?? *wishful thinking from me* 😅🙈
The only thing that cheered me up yesterday were those pictures of Ellis and his boy - just the CUTEST 😭💕🥰
But yeh, we are absolutely buggered at this World Cup.....
I'm still baffled the ref didn't stop the match before when he was roooooooolling on the floor in pain.
I have no idea,they shared nothing even privately postmatch so I'm not sure they were able to see him after it, Claudia - Sarah and Jack might have been together this day as Sarah watched all the stories then Jack came back to see what he had missed and Claudia watched all on the 3rd round and liked my publication so maybe they do talk about it together or maybe not and timing is really close and they had the same idea in less than one hour.
agree on only valuable piece on our chessboard
Oh I see, yeah perhaps , more like long term investments than cash flow.
weird norwich traditions indeed there was so many stuffs proper to the region that seemed odd so imagine this transposed to family own traditions
Would be ok with Raffi but he said it would be Mitchell and dailymail said Jack is out of RWC I don't want to believe it (yet)
The only thing that cheered me up was your messages , banter about owen and silly jokes
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runawaymarbles · 2 years
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7, 15, and 18 for the ask meme?
Weird Writing Ask Meme
7. What is your deepest joy about writing?
It's hard to narrow it down, but one of my favorite parts-- that's a genuine pure favorite and never makes me want to bang my head against a wall-- is when I find unexpected ways to bring things I'm interested in together. When I realize that a weirdly niche rabbit hole I went down a few years ago could suddenly be plot relevant, or some analogy lines up to something else I'm doing. (Getting to bring Caravaggio's Artichoke Toss into a GO fic or when I was binging Myths and Legends's Arthuria episodes and realizing it worked perfectly with an x-men fic I was struggling with, etc.)
15. Do you write in the margins of your books? Dog-ear your pages? Read in the bath? Why or why not? Do you judge people who do these things? Can we still be friends?
It depends on the book. I don't dog-ear pages, and I don't write in hardbacks, but I've been known to underline paperbacks. I will read hardbacks in the bath if they're not too long. If I saw someone writing in an old book or a fist edition or something I might have a moment of "aaaahhh!" but I don't hold mass market books as inherently precious
18. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end. Spicy addition: Questioner provides the passage.
“Our traditional design ties together the partners’ initials with the blue line of Life and the deer of Death... For where Life goes, Death always follows; and where Death goes, Life continues. Theirs is the most profound of bonds, and one we try to emulate with each marriage.”
(From The Mixtape, Or: Six Things You Learn in Thursday School)
I spent a lot of time revising the bits of "scripture" in this fic, because I was trying to walk the line between what I could imagine someone treating as sacred text-- looking for meanings, lessons, comfort, etc-- and what would be funny for the reader who knows the actual plot of Supernatural. (Especially for those reading it during the pandemic: I still think that the Council of Nicea equivalent being the "Teleconference of Lawrence" is funny. That's also why settlements are called "pods" in this fic.)
Originally, this passage was explaining how Castiel was the Angel of Death-- the joke being that he doesn't cause people to die, but that he is in the more literal sense Dean's angel. But I figured he'd need a job or purpose to be of ritual significance. And since one of his main functions in the canonical narrative was to angel ex machina Sam and Dean out of trouble and/or back to life and be a celestial badaid, the Life/healing connection seemed natural-- but I also didn't want to make it seem like he and Death were at odds, each racing to see who got to someone first. So instead they're following each other around (as they did in canon) in the ciiiiiiircle of life. Of course, something that's overlooked by the characters who came up with the wedding rituals is that if they're constantly following each other they are never actually connecting (as they didn't in canon.) .....I'm now realizing that I could have worked in a joke about Schroedinger's box: the only place Life and Death can successfully stop and rest. Alas. I tried to keep the Angel of Death as one of Life's alternate names but between the conflation of Dean/Death/Hell/Heaven/Purgatory and Cas/Life and merging John-Chuck and Sam-Jack another name was going to make me lose track of what's going on, much less the poor suckers reading this.
Anyway it's all very Deep and Symbolic except that they think Dean's impala is a literal deer, they've forgotten what neckties are, and they used the phrase "profound bond" in conversation. Also the irony that Dean and Cas's frankly deranged, unstable, and occasionally toxic friendship rife with communication issues has been warped in the historical record as something that should be emulated in a stable marriage.
This whole fic was really an exercise in what jokes I could imagine a specific priest I know saying with gravitas and full sincerity.
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TICKET TO PARADISE (2022)
Starring George Clooney, Julia Roberts, Kaitlyn Dever, Billie Lourd, Maxime Bouttier, Lucas Bravo, Sean Lynch, Arielle Carver-O'Neill, Ling Cooper Tang, Charles Allen, Francis McMahon, Geneviève Lemon, Romy Poulier, Dorian Djoudi, Ilma Nurfauziah, Agung Pindha, Ifa Barry, Cintya Dharmayanti, Nom Gunadi, Inaya Servais and Ida Pandita Putu Wirata.
Screenplay by  Daniel Pipski.
Directed by Ol Parker.
Distributed by Universal Pictures. 104 minutes. Rated PG-13.
Ticket to Paradise is a fun, sometimes silly rom com filled with some of the most gorgeous views of Bali that you could imagine. The entire film could undoubtedly be turned into an advertisement for the Bali Tourist Bureau to sell a million trips.
The film is directed by British writer and filmmaker Ol Parker, known for his past romantic comedies in exotic locales like Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again! and both The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel movies.
There is an exceptional cast. You really can’t go wrong with stars Julia Roberts and George Clooney because, while they already have built-in chemistry, they are both über talented and charismatic. Also let’s face it, like the scenery, they are also extremely attractive to look at as they continue to age so gracefully.
The story starts when Lily (Kaitlyn Dever) graduates from college. She leaves on a fun vacation to Bali with her crazy, often drunk roommate Wren, (Billie Lourd) before she is due to settle into her cushy law job back in the States. While partying through the vacation, Lily meets and falls in love with handsome seaweed farmer Gede (Maxime Bouttier). Somehow this extended vacation becomes the lead up to their traditional Balian wedding. Lily finds she is willing to give up all of her aspirations for a new one; to live in Bali with the man of her dreams.
When her divorced and always bickering parents – Georgia (Roberts) and David (Clooney) – find out about Lily’s upcoming nuptials, they decide to put their differences aside and work towards a common goal. That goal is breaking up the engagement and bringing their daughter home to live out her dream – or theirs – of being a successful lawyer. When they teamed up, I started enjoying the film more because the constant fighting early on between the two of them was somewhat over the top, in my opinion.
After joining forces, the two parents cause some bumps in the road for the couple but also learn a whole lot about themselves. Georgia’s current boyfriend/pilot Paul (Lucas Bravo) follows her around like a puppy dog and beyond giving David more fodder to throw his ex’s way, doesn’t seem to have much purpose.
The best scene of the film for me is when out at a bar as a group, David and Georgia relive one of their favorite memories from college – playing beer pong. After challenging the soon-to-be bride and groom to a game, with House of Pain’s 1992 hit song “Jump Around” blasting in the background, you are reminded why you love Julia Roberts and George Clooney so much as they dance around, goofing off and just having fun. No dialogue, just fun.
Although you won’t see any of this talented cast up on the Oscar stage for this specific film, it’s okay. It was still a fun, light film that’s easy to watch on a cold night and to fantasize about being in Bali… with Clooney, Roberts and some friends.
Deborah Wagner
Copyright ©2022 PopEntertainment.com. All rights reserved. Posted: October 21, 2022.
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thinktosee · 1 year
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HOLY APRIL
Many religious faiths and cultures observe customary festivals and celebrations during the month of April. These include :
1. Good Friday - April 7 (Christianity)
2. Passover – April 5-13 – (Judaism)
3. Ramadan – Mar 22 – April 20   (Islam)
4. Eid al-Fitr – April 20/21 (Islam)
5. Vaisakhi – April 13/14 (Sikhism/Hinduism)
6. Songkran – April 13-15 (Thai Buddhism)
7. Cenja Sare Sale/Yazidi New Year  - April 19
8. International Romani Day – April 8
9. Maidyozarem Gahambar – April 30/May 4 (Zoroastrianism)
10. Mahavir Jayanti – April 4 (Jain)
This list is not exhaustive. If anything, it demonstrates the immense diversity of religious beliefs, cultures and thought throughout the world. This is our collective heritage and gift.
It is quite impossible to distil the essence and beauty of our existence into a single belief system or culture, although throughout history, some had tried. And I gather, they will go on trying. To share our faith and culture with our fellow human beings is a blessing. Likewise also, when they share theirs with us. Exploration and learning are integral to human existence and security.
Recently, I was most fortunate to chance upon a lovely essay about co-existence and sharing. It is titled, A Celebration of Overlapping Faiths, by Elizabeth Becker. The essay was featured in Tablet Magazine, a web publication dedicated to Jewish life, Identity and much more. Ms Becker, an academic situated at Heidelberg University in Germany has much to share with us about her interfaith and multi-cultural experience (for me, it brings to sharp focus my children’s experiences too. Sara and David were born from a Chinese mother of the Roman Catholic faith, and a Punjabi-Sikh father).
We have much to learn from Ms Becker’s experience :
A Celebration of Overlapping Faiths - Tablet Magazine
Blessings to one and all during this Holy month.
Sources/References
1. Good Friday | Definition, History, Meaning, Traditions, & Facts | Britannica
2. History Behind 7 Passover Traditions: Seder, No Bread, More | Time
3. Why Ramadan is the most sacred month in Islamic culture (nationalgeographic.com)
4. What Is Eid al-Fitr? Meaning and Facts About the Muslim Holiday (womansday.com)
5. Vaisakhi 2023: when is the Sikh and Hindu celebration, and how to celebrate in London’s Trafalgar Square (yahoo.com)
6. Songkran (nationalgeographic.com)
7. Yazidis Celebrate Cejna Sarè Salè (Yazidi New Year) — Nadia's Initiative (nadiasinitiative.org)
8. INTERNATIONAL ROMANI DAY - April 8, 2023 - National Today
9. Gahambar, Gahanbar, Ghambar - Zoroastrian Festivals (heritageinstitute.com)
10. Mahavir Jayanti: Mahavir Jayanti 2023: Date, History, Celebration, His teachings and Significance - Times of India (indiatimes.com)
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odisn · 3 years
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please assign thor an  ' earth birthday '
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gatheringbones · 3 years
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["At the end of August in 1981, I found myself in a small town in Arkansas, where I knew no Lesbians other than my new lover, Lynn. I wanted it that way. We were living in hiding from my armed and vengeful ex-lover who had abused me for four years and had threatened both of us with deadly harm. This was five years before the publication of Kerry Lobel's ground-breaking book, Naming the Violence: Speaking Out About Lesbian Battering. I knew I had been battered, but I did not understand how deeply I had been injured.
I only knew that I seemed to have saved my life at the cost of my sanity. I jumped at loud and not-so-loud noises. A frown from a stranger could reduce me to tears. I was afraid to bathe if I was alone in the apartment. I relived every word of every fight in relentless flashbacks. I had blocked much of the unbearable pain of the previous four years out of my consciousness at the time, in order to cope with immediate danger. Now that I was "safe" it all came flooding back. To escape, I watched TV compulsively, avoiding anything violent—nature shows were my favorites—and I read science fiction. Having lost faith in women as well as men, I was a serious candidate for a species-change operation.
Luckily, at some point in that bleak winter, I read a magazine article on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) in Vietnam Vets, and I recognized all my symptoms. I had a name for my suffering, and 1 knew I was not "crazy." I'd felt so much guilt and anger towards myself for not being okay, that is, my old self, since I was "free." Now I knew healing would take time and effort, and I gave myself permission to not be normal right away. Also, seeing how much my condition resembled that of war survivors helped break down some of my denial about the hell I'd been through.
Still, I had no guidance on how to recover from PTSD. I followed only the dimmest instincts. First, I began to read accounts by survivors of any serious trauma. These people became my invisible support group. I found myself drawn especially to stories of political prisoners and concentration camp survivors. Although my experience was not like theirs, these were the people I felt would understand how my will had been sapped and my strengths twisted, how the smallest acts of resistance and mere endurance had needed all my wits and courage. Bruno Bettleheim in his chapters called "Behavior in Extreme Situations" (The Informed Heart) finally answered the question I'd put to myself every 44 hour since my escape: "How could I have been so stupid?" He made me realize that under abuse, especially the combination of intermittent threats, unpredictable violence and constant psychological torture, everyone responds differently, but everyone changes fundamentally, and everyone has their breaking point.
One day as I sat reading at the kitchen table, I looked out the window at the small yard beside our duplex apartment, and I began to imagine growing a garden there in the spring. It seemed like a highly improbable idea: the area was very small, steep, bare of everything but gray shale and orange clay, and the house shaded it part of the day. But the notion of a garden took root strongly. For the first time in several years I had something pleasant to anticipate.
I wrangled my landlady's permission to put in a garden. Then I mailed off postcards for seed catalogs. I persuaded an acquaintance who owned a truck to bring me a load of cedar slabs discarded by a local sawmill, and I used these to construct two frames, about four feet by six feet, and two even smaller ones, just three feet by four feet. By this time Lynn and I had saved enough money to buy a very old VW bug, so we drove to a nearby creekbank and filled bushel baskets with rich bottom dirt, which we dumped into the frames to make raised beds about four inches deep.
To supplement the tiny growing space, Lynn scavenged large cans from the cafeteria of the hospital where she worked. I painted them a hopeful green, filled them with soil and placed them along the sidewalk below our porch. Old-timey "Corn-row Beans," originally bred to tolerate the shade of cornfields, grew up strings tied to the roof and bore prolifically.
I didn't have much money from my SSI income to spend on garden gadgets, so I made do. I wove a trellis for my peas from six-pack rings liberated from a liquor store trash bin. (I can testify that this plastic never biodegrades—the pea fence survives to this day.) I got some more bushel baskets from the local grocery, painted them with non-toxic preservative and lined them with garbage bags after snipping a few drainage holes in the bottom. Placed around a small stone patio above the garden, these became containers for large plants.
The garden rewarded me before the first mouthful of early spinach was harvested. It moved me out of the gloomy apartment and into the sunshine, watering can in hand. It motivated me to interact with people and to occasionally risk asking for help. I found out they would usually say yes. My attention was now focused on the future, not the bitter, unchangeable past. At night when the flashbacks threatened to roll, when I dreaded the dreams I might have, I put myself to sleep with 45 detailed plans of my next crop rotation. I found out I could learn a major new skill, a little at a time. I could do things right, even come up with ingenious solutions to seemingly impossible difficulties. And when I did things wrong, plants were most often forgiving. The plants themselves were a tremendous source of inspiration. Talk about survivors! They defied every book written about their needs, often thriving with too little sun, too little water, and too little soil. At the end of a year, I could easily stick my shovel in the dirt up to the hilt, where only four inches of top soil had previously existed; compost and the action of the roots had created friable loam out of shale and clay.
When I experienced failure with gardening, it was never the kind of disaster I'd grown to associate with mistakes. We didn't go hungry, because other crops outstripped our expectations. My lover didn't beat or berate me, but sympathized and helped. The garden was important to us economically, because we'd both lost almost everything we owned in our escape. Luckily, in southern Arkansas, it's possible to garden yearround. The garden gave me precious, desperately needed tastes of success. Disabled, unemployed, I still felt like an important contributor to the household. I even had food to give away sometimes, and that was a delicious feeling.
Gardening was not the only factor in my recovery, but it was an important one. I didn't grow up with abuse, but battering and similar traumas can expand minutes into hours, years into decades, until four years feel like most of a lifetime. At the end of a year and a half of gardening, I no longer felt as if I'd spent the majority of my life in a battering situation. Healing had acquired a new definition for me: I didn't insist on having the old me back; I'd mourned her long and well. I accepted the fact that some injuries are too severe to be made whole, that I might never be the same again. But I began to actually like and trust the me I am now, scars and all. As my garden taught me, I must make do with what I am. I have discovered that my flaws are not fatal and my successes are greater than I'd hoped for. So far I have not gone hungry, and I even have something to offer."]
Amy Edgington, Gaining Ground, from Garden Variety Dykes: Lesbian Traditions In Gardening, Herbooks, 1994
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writingwithcolor · 3 years
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Gingerbread man as golem
@yaronata asked:
I would like to write a character who is Jewish and uses a Golem. She's based on the D&D class of the artificer which looks magic but isn't, because they produce all their effects with inventions, like the "any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic" quote. Her story is that her very Jewish town was under attack from a terrible monster when she was little. Her Rabbis made a Golem to protect the town, and it succeeded but was torn to pieces in the process. She was fascinated by the Golem and as a kid didn't see a big difference between it's sentience and person's so was really thankful for its sacrifice like you would a person's sacrificing their life for you. They thought all the pieces had been devoured by the monster before it died, but she went looking and found the piece used to animate the Golem, which she, kinda misunderstanding called its "heart". She kept the piece and grew up to be an incredibly skilled cook, specialising as a baker in the town. I imagine she would make a lot of really good food for the Jewish holidays, or to break fasts on ones like Yom Kippur or Tish'abav. But she also made a town specific holiday to honour the Golem's sacrifice and the town still being alive, because I feel "we are not dead woo" is a big theme for Jewish holidays from my research, so it could fit, for which she invented ginger bread men to be the golem, and gave them little "hearts" of fruit or honey, and you're meant to eat them limb by limb like the beast did before eating the heart. This would be the inspiration for using the "heart" piece later to make her own giant gingerbread Golem to help her save the world.
These are my questions 1) would it be considered bad or disrespectful for someone who isn't a Rabbi to make a Golem, or is this method of taking an animating piece someone else made disrespectful? 2) Her journey will take her far from her town and her Jewish family and friends and she will likely travel with gentiles. Would it be disrespectful for a Golem to be used to protect a lot of gentiles and one Jew in the course of saving the world? I don't want to fall into the stereotype of someone putting all their effort into valuing and protecting very specifically the group that in real life is oppressive to them. 3) While she is not using magic and is actually mimicking its effects with technology she invents, is this drawing too close to the line of "magical Jew"? 4) I like to "play test" my characters in ttrpgs to really get a feel for them before I write. Would it be disrespectful to play a Jewish character when I am a gentile, and would it be disrespectful to play a Jewish character in a setting where there are demonstrably real gods other than the one of Judaism?
I really like this character idea and I think it's cute and fun and rooted in Jewish culture but I really want to make sure it's respectful and as good as I, a gentile researching on the internet, thinks it is. Thanks so much! Have a nice day!
My answer to this is very complicated because there are things I both like and do not like about this premise. First of all, I love the idea of a cookie golem, and I'm even imagining the magic word that brings him to life (EMET/truth) would be written in icing. And I'm okay with the part about how she found a piece of the old golem and used it to build a new golem, because that makes sense for a golem made from a baked good when you think about how people use sourdough starter to make a new batch of sourdough.
However, here are the thing that make me cock my head to the side like my little sister's German shepherd:
1. re: "magical Jew" - that's not a trope I've ever heard of. Remember, marginalized groups don't receive identical disrespect across the board. It is indeed a trope to use Black people or disabled people as supernatural plot devices who exist only to further the stories of white main characters or able-bodied main characters. But I can't say as I've ever seen anyone using Jewishness that way. Usually if we are someone's one-dimensional plot device it's as someone's lawyer, fixer, "money guy", etc, not a supernatural force. So this isn't something you have to worry about.
2. I have a certain level of discomfort with you playing as a Jewish character just because playacting as a marginalized culture you're not part of strikes me as off, but I understand that that's how you gain insight into a character you're about to write so it's more of a writing exercise than anything else. (I wonder if D&D regulars from marginalized groups have written about this -- I've only played a few times casually with family so if I did run into this type of discussion in my social justice reading I wouldn't have absorbed it. If anyone is curious I played first as Captain Werewolf, and then switched to playing as Cinnamon Blade because lawful good was too hard. :P )
3. I would prefer you omit the detail about eating the cookies piece by piece symbolically, for two reasons: a. it unintentionally evokes Communion by having appreciative people consume a baked good symbolic of an entity who sacrificed his life for theirs, and b. focusing on the details of flesh consumption reminds me too much of Blood Libel (yes, a gingerbread man is in the shape of a person but how many of us actually think about it literally, the way this act would cause?)
As to your first question: I'm fine with her making a golem even though she's just a rando. Second question: I see what you're saying and maybe it could be more okay if it's really clear how well these gentile folks are treating her? And questions three and four are answered above.
I really do love the idea of a giant gingerbread man golem. Cookie golem T_T <3
--Shira
I would like to second Shira’s point about not ripping apart the gingerbread cookies. I honestly would prefer they were used as decoration, and other cookies eaten instead, since that part just feels so not-Jewish to me, but I don’t have golem-specific issues other than that. It seems like you have already been doing a lot of research, which is appreciated.
As far as the ttrpg/DnD aspect… I bounce back and forth on the topic of playing characters that are so very different from our experiences, other than in fantasy-related ways. However, I am aware that a lot of people will play with, and experiment with gender in game, and learn something about themselves in the process (the number of trans players of ttrpgs who tried out their gender in game before they were out is high). It’s different with Judaism, and even more significantly different when it comes to things you can’t convert into, like various actual, real-world races. But because people do sometimes experience growth from experiences like this, I’m hesitant to dissuade players completely. I do urge you to, at a minimum, bring the same care, research, and willingness to learn, that you brought to this question.
--Dierdra
This sounds like a creative storyline that you could have lots of fun with 😊
At first I was confused by this part:
She also made a town specific holiday to honour the Golem's sacrifice
But then you really got me thinking about different types of Jewish holidays and how they come about, so thank you for that!
Because it’s often the little details that either make a story super powerful or kind of nonsensical, I think it would be a good idea to decide what type of holiday is being created here:
A full-blown chag with restrictions on labour and halachic obligations? These are commanded in Torah and new ones can’t be added.
A minor yom tov with halachic obligations but no restrictions? These were instituted by the rabbis prior to the destruction of the Temple, so again new ones can’t be added.
A public holiday or equivalent? This would usually be declared by the Knesset in Israel, and filter to the rest of the Jewish world from there.
A community-based yom tov with specific customs only for people in the know, such as certain Chasidic groups celebrating the birthdays of their deceased leaders? I asked around, but no one can really tell me how these holidays get started, which is probably a good indication that they arise quite organically from a group of people who all just feel that it should be celebrated. Probably not created by a single person, as such.
Something she runs from her bakery, not religion-based, but more like a day of doing special products and deals the way many small businesses do on their anniversary?
Now, if the people of a modern-day town were actually saved by a real live Golem, that would arguably be the most overt miracle for many generations, so there would be a decent chance of options 3 and/or 4 happening. It’s entirely plausible that there could be special foods for this day that become a tradition, including Golem cookies. People who directly benefited might also return to the site where the Golem fought the monster and recite the prayer, ‘Blessed is Hashem, Master of the Universe, Who performed a miracle for me in this place.’
Alternatively, if it’s important that your MC created the holiday, something like option 5 might be the best. Hopefully this will still fulfil what you need: you describe her as incredibly skilled, so I can imagine the day when she goes all out on the Golem cookies being one of the most exciting events of the year for the townspeople, just because her baking is that good. Plus, they already have a personal stake in the Golem’s sacrifice, so I definitely think it could be a thing without being an official holiday. Also, if she is outside of an all-Jewish environment, don’t forget that she would have to decide whether to commemorate the anniversary in the Hebrew calendar or the local one.
Coming back to the cookies, sorry if we’re getting a little repetitive on this point! But I don’t see the cookies being torn limb from limb as part of a celebration. First of all, this doesn’t sound like a very celebratory thing to do, to say the least. Can you imagine explaining that to a three-year-old on their first Yom HaGolem? They would be terrified! (I don’t read this suggestion as accidental anti-Semitism so much as getting carried away with a metaphor, which I’m sure as writers we have all done!)
But also, it’s worth pointing out that our commemorative foods aren’t usually that literal. If you think about hamantaschen, maror, or apple in honey, they’re all symbols. That’s not to say that having Golem-shaped cookies is a problem, as this sounds like just a bit of fun that the MC is having and not something that is directly at odds with Judaism or Jewish culture. But it’s worth bearing in mind that the more literal you go from there in terms of tying the cookies to the event they commemorate, the less culturally aligned your holiday food becomes.
Finally, about the Golem protecting non-Jewish people: I like this idea! There’s a stereotype that we only use whatever is at our disposal to help ourselves and other Jewish people, so a Golem being created by Jews but helping others as well is a big plus for me. Of course, as has already been pointed out, this would be an odd choice if her Saving The World team were anti-Semitic or otherwise disrespectful to her/her community, but I don’t think you were headed that way!
-Shoshi
I have to come back in here just to squee over the phrase “Yom HaGolem.” Well done :D
--Shira
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