#brainwrong content

[lassieposting]

Some people with autism get funky little superpowers like Photographic Memory or Child Prodigy

And some of us just get the ability to feel utterly alone even in a crowded room

#brainwrong content #i hate being autistic

[brainwrongbutalive]

Am I thriving or is my brain about to malfunction again?

#brainwrong content #mental health #mental illness #manic depressive

[lassieposting]

I think the worst thing about being supposedly "high-functioning" is that you can fully understand how broken you are

You know you'll never fit in anywhere. You know your traumas and illnesses make you sharp-edged and brittle and unpleasant up close, that you will only ever be loveable from a distance. You know other people feel a whole spectrum of emotions that you will never get to experience, while you trudge through life confined to only two or three. You know your coping mechanisms are bad and wrong, but they're the only way you ever get to feel anything, so you keep using them anyway. You're able to conceive of all the things you could've been, all the lives you could've had, if you were different. If you were better. If you were normal.

Is it any wonder really that we end up angry and bitter and resentful at the world? When all we ever have is the knowledge that we'll never have a decent quality of life, or feel joy, or be fallen in love with?

Fucked up enough to be consigned to a lesser existence. Functional enough to know what we should've had instead. It's bullshit and it's not worth it.

#brainwrong content

[lassieposting]

Anyway I'm. Very tired of having to exist as a mentally ill person so if we could hurry up and revolt against the rich so I can die for something that actually matters that would be great

#brainwrong content

[lassieposting]

Does anyone else ever think like, "I peaked in high school" but in the worst possible way

Not like "high school is where i was happy and popular and confident and life looked good". More like "i was an angry, vengeful, hateful teenager bullied to the brink of suicide whose only goal in life was to murder my bullies and then myself, but that was better than my adult life, so i guess that's as good as it was ever gonna get for me"

#brainwrong content

[lassieposting]

i dont want to reparent my past self i want to kill her

#brainwrong content

[lassieposting]

Does anyone else look at their parents and wonder how they live with themselves? How it feels to know that the child they decided to bring into the world isn't glad, isn't thankful, doesn't think it's worth it? Whether they dwell on knowing that their child resents their choice, that their child is angry with them for it? Whether they feel guilty for your suffering, for forcing you into a world where you find no joy? Whether they'll ever forgive themselves for inflicting a life that isn't enjoyed?

#brainwrong content #im not feeling good tonight

[lassieposting]

It's so funny though when parents say, "You're a nasty piece of work sometimes."

Like...I'm nearly 30 and you still out here tryna act like that's a fucking surprise

#brainwrong content #'is it just a borderline thing to be fucking horrible' no mother i am just Like That #you made the shitty choice to spawn a kid and i came out wrong congrats

[lassieposting]

How are you supposed to figure out what you want to do with your life when the best anything ever makes you feel is numb

#ive already wasted so much time and im so scared #people say do what makes you happy #but what about when nothing actually makes you happy #what about when you dont even know what happy feels like #and you know youve blown all your opportunities already and now youre too poor and stupid and useless to fix any of it #i dont want to be a failure all my life but it feels like thats all im ever going to be #and i hate it #brainwrong content #delete later

[lassieposting]

Does this remind you of anyone

It reminds me of two people. One of them wrote this letter and the other one is reading it

—

#big mood #submission #backyard anon #brainwrong content

[brainwrongbutalive]

I don’t usually use tumblr for this but I need to vent.

I’ve been doing everything right. I’m in a routine, I’m eating, I’m going outside, and prioritising my own health over work.

But me looking after myself has made me lose my job.

Separate to that, I’m now feeling very low again. I say separate to that because I felt low before I got that news.

I don’t know what else I should be doing. I’m taking care of myself and I still feel like shit.

I feel completely defeated.

#brainwrong content #depression #bipolar #tw: depression #tw: swearing #tw: mental illness #if anyone has any advice #please please tell me #because I’m at a ducking loss

[brainwrongbutalive]

Apparently I’m in a manic phase: I’ve updated two fanfics and my fic exchange fanfic has been released so feel free to check it out 😊

#skulduggery pleasant #fanfic #brainwrong content

[lassieposting]

Does anyone else compulsively reread arguments that ended their relationships with people they cared about to like. Punish themselves or?

#brainwrong content #i have like five of these saved to beat myself over the head with when i feel lonely and self-destructive #but apparently its 'weird' and 'badly adjusted' #so like. is it just me

[brainwrongbutalive]

I hate my brain.

I have too much to do.

This is not the time to deep dive into Hera and Zeus’s relationship.

Hyperfixation is only good when it’s on MY terms.

Bad bad brain.

#brainwrong content #Hera #zeus and hera #favourite toxic couple

[lassieposting]

I hate psychology advice articles so much bc it's always like

"You need to communicate your needs and set boundaries to have healthy relationships"

Like yeah except absolutely fucking not because not once in my life has that ever felt good or not ended in the other person walking away

#brainwrong content #throws psychology today at the wall

[lassieposting]

Never being able to feel any marked good emotion/feeling "okay" at best is called "anhedonia." This is a normal depression thing. Some people are naturally depressive and the world is broken and profoundly dysphoria-inducing (I mean dysphoria in the general sense, not as in gender dysphoria FYI) so it makes big sense that a lot of natural depressives trapped in this giant fucking rat utopia for humans would have had strong anhedonia for huge periods, like you and your mum.

I. Did not actually know this? It never really occurred to me that it might be a symptom of something, I thought we just had like a genetic deficiency

#backyard anon #brainwrong content