#brain went a little crazy on that mainly cause shes literally a child so. rather eat dog shit | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

canaryatlaw · 7 years

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Today was fine, just.....tiring. I don't know, I'm coming to realize I think I always feel exhausted mentally and physically because I can never get my brain to stop feeling like it's going 100 miles an hour. Like even when I'm sitting in front of the tv with my laptop there are a million things going through my head that I have to keep track of and handle and even in shit like going through the blogs I like to go through each day I feel stressed because it's just one more thing I have to get done and like.....god, I'm just so damn tired. And I really don't know what to do about it. I mean, it's not that I'm unhappy. I love just about every component of my life right now, and I'm definitely happier than I've been in a long, long time. It's just that everything comes with little things that add up onto each other and make me ridiculously stressed. Like even getting the mock trial stuff memorized right now is stressing me out and then I have a seemingly never ending pile of shit to get done for the PAD event yesterday and like, I just want to stop feeling this way. But what am I gonna do? It's not like I can really cut anything out of my life right now. Mock trial will be over at the end of the month at least so that will be one thing off my back, but there's still gonna be a lot more. Ugh. I need to figure out some stress coping methods that don't involve staying in bed all day and sleeping for 12 hours and blowing off all my responsibilities because I simply don't have the will to get out of bed. I just.....ugh. I don't even know anymore. I don't know the answer to this and I don't know what to do beyond ranting about it right now. I just need to find a coping method or six....something like that. Sigh. Anyway, today. Woke up at 10:50, got ready, then hopped on the bus to the train to the DV courthouse for my shift. It's gotten to the point where the sheriffs at the DV courthouse recognize me and don't care when I inevitably set off the metal detector, and I'm only there one day a week when I've been at the juvenile courthouse at least 2-3 days a week since June and they still fucking scan me every day. I would love to know what I did to piss them off, lol. Oh well. My spring break friend apparently cancelled her shift today since she had a super busy weekend dealing with the auction, so it was just me and the 1L, and she's ready at this point to do it on her own so she got a client and I waited a bit longer before getting one. I knew from the outset it was gonna be a tough sell to the judge because it was strictly a harassment case with no physical abuse or threats really. Generally if there's physical abuse in the last week, the order has a very good chance of getting granted, unless there's another overriding factor in the situation. But harassment is a lot more up to the judge and surrounding circumstances. I won't get into the details, but basically it's the father of her kid who's unhappy that he has to pay child support and has been harassing her like crazy and calling in complaints to her work to try and get her in trouble and shit like that. He also told their 12 year old son, who's been dealing with suicidal ideation that his mother "doesn't want him" and what the fuck kind of father even says something like that to their kid??? So fucked up. But yeah, filled out the paperwork and affidavit and headed up to court. There were like 6 people in front of us, including two criminal cases, a battery complaint an a violation of an order of protection to file charges on both, so that's always interesting. It was a judge I'd been in front of a few times before and she's always seemed reasonable. I guess the facts just wasn't doing it for her though, I had a feeling this was gonna happen because the most recent incident wasn't particularly strong and I think judges get that in their head and can kind of write off the rest of it. And the judge said some shit like oh well I don't know if him complaining to your work is harassment because you might've done something to him which is straight up bs because according to the statute that kind of behavior is essentially per se harassment. So I wasn't pleased, but at least it wasn't a violent case where I'd be legitimately in fear for my client's safety when the abuser gets served the paperwork without an emergency order in place. Since there's a already a custody case the order will get transferred over there, so it's their problem now. The lady didn't seem too upset, I had told her the outcome was kind of up in the air (which according to my supervisor is bordering on legal advice that I'm not supposed to give but I really don't care) and I think that helped. When I told my supervisor he was very surprised, because it was basically per se harassment he thought it would get granted. But I mean I guess you win some you lose some, and at least this time I wasn't absolutely seething about the decision and totally out for blood like the last time one didn't get granted. Yeah it sucks that it didn't get granted, but I'm not gonna lose sleep over it. So anyway. Left the DV courthouse and went to school, ate dinner in the PAD office before heading to class. We had a guest lecturer because our prof was absent for some reason, and he had told us class would get out around 7:15 instead of 8:30, so that was nice. The speaker was interesting, he's an adjunct prof in some of the grad schools as well as some other business function for the school and he was talking about sustainable development for companies and responsible business building in our modern world. He had us all go trough and talk about what our "cause" would be in our hypothetical non-profit, what we would like to challenge and how we can do that, which I thought was interesting to hear everyone's answers. I of course ranted about reforming the foster care children and how our children deserve better than the current system and it really needs to be completely remodeled, and he seemed to really like that. I did admittedly tune out at some point, mainly because I was writing a lengthy Facebook message to a childhood friend (it ended up being about 1300 words, I checked) about refugees and how a Christians responsibility relates to that of the government, and I wasn't really sure what I was gonna say, but I opened my mouth (theoretically, since it was writing) and the words just came pouring out, and I was rather proud of the result. I talked a lot about the standard of being regarded as a Christian nation and how we can't pick and choose when we're going to apply that if we truly wish to be a nation of Christian values as they inevitably want it to be. I also tackled several of the main anti-refugee arguments, talking about how thorough the screening process is already and saying you're gonna make it tighter really just means you're not going to let anyone through, and I talked a lot about World War II Jewish refugees that tried to escape to America but were rejected and ultimately slaughtered, and in 10 years how the world will view what we let happen. She did respond later saying it was a lot to think about and she was going to sit on it for a bit before responding, and of course thanking me for explaining my position, so I felt like that was a positive reaction. I did also talk to my spring break friend (who did make it to class) about the situation from yesterday with the lady from my church and she said to see if they could get a child rep appointed in addition to a GAL so I'll pass along that information. Headed home and got there around 8:30, ran to start laundry that I meant to get done over the weekend and then started supergirl. The episode was pretty solid, interesting plot. I can't say I was super invested in the whole M'Gann/J'onn plot but I felt like they did a good job with their relationship here, though I'm sad they essentially wrote her out of the show at the end with a pretty dumb reason. It ticked me off that at the end they tried to make this all about Mon-El when literally nothing in the episode was about him and he's so irrelevant at this point. Winn of course was adorable and the Alex/Kara interactions at least resulted in a sweet ending. I could probably keep going but it is late and I am tired, so I'm gonna end that there. I was still doing laundry so I turned on tonight's episode of 24:Legacy that had aired earlier, which I'm kind of still meh about. It definitely has some of the elements that made the original 24 good, but I just don't feel very invested in the characters at this point which makes it hard to care about the craziness in their lives and what they're running from. Again, could go on, but super tired so I'll leave it there and that about wrapped up my day, and for the same reason I'll end this post here too. Goodnight loves. Sleep well.

#daily journal #February 2017

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