#boys return from Annie’s

[waitimcomingtoo]

Somewhere In The Haze

Pairing: Peeta Mellark X Reader

Synopsis: Peeta returns from The Capital but he isn’t the same

As soon as you heard the news that the rescue team had returned from The Capital, you ran to the infirmary. You passed Johanna on your way to find Peeta and stopped in your tracks. She barely got two words out of her snarky speech when you pulled her to your chest and kissed the top of her shaved head. You ran before she had time to react and passed Finnick and Annie’s romantic reunion and grew giddy over the thought of you and Peeta reuniting in the same way. Your eyes scanned the room and eventually fell on Gale, who you ran to hug.

“I’m glad you’re safe.” You told him before pulling away. Gale watched the way your eyes darted around the room and he let out a sigh.

“He’s in there.” Gale said without meeting your eyes as he nodded towards a room to the left. You broke into a smile and felt your heart skip a beat.

“Thank you.” You said sincerely before running towards the room. You pushed on the door handle but were suddenly pulled back by Haymitch.

“Hold on, sweetheart. I know you’ve been waiting a long time to see lover boy again but you should prepare yourself for what you’re about to see.” Haymitch warned you. You felt a flash of anger towards Haymitch for trying to stop you from going in there and shook your head.

“I’m fine. I don’t care how he looks. Let me in there.” You said and tried to push the door open.

“You’re not fine. And neither is Peeta.” Haymitch tried to prepare you. The gravity in his voice made you stop trying to push past him.

“Why? What’s going on? Is he okay?”

“There’s something you should know.” Haymitch said after a beat of silence. You couldn’t take the anticipation anymore and pushed the door open. You ran inside and pushed open the second set of glass doors with a giddy smile on your face.

“Peeta? Peeta, I’m here.” You shouted as you burst into the room. You watched Peeta’s head perk up at the sound of your voice and he ever so slowly turned his neck to see you. When you saw the state of his bruised and battered face, looking much worse than you had seen from his Capital interviews, your smile dropped and you felt your heart shatter.

“Peeta.” You breathed out. Your heart ached for him so you slowly reached your hand out to touch his face. Peeta backed away from your hand as if in fear and your face twisted in confusion.

“Peeta, it’s me.” You assured him and reached out again. This time, he aggressively swatted your hand away befriend lunging at your neck with both hands. He slammed you into a glass cabinet behind you before throwing you onto the ground by your neck. You barely had time to gasp for air when he got back on top of you and started to strangle you. You tapped the side of his arms to try to get him to let go of you as you struggled to breath.

“Peeta, stop. It’s me.” You wheezed out.

“I know.” He growled and tightened his grip. You watched the corners of your vision darken as the last of your breath left your lungs. The last thing you saw before passing out was the feral look in Peeta’s eyes as he choked you.

When you woke up, your body felt sore and heavy. You had hoped the interaction with Peeta was just another one of your nightmares, but the brace around your neck told you it was all too real.

“I’m sorry. I tried to warn you. That’s not him.” Haymitch said from your bedside, making you jump. You opened your mouth to speak but only a croak came out. You gulped and braced yourself before trying again.

“You’re right. It’s not.” You croaked out.

“I’ll let you get some rest. We can talk about it when you’re feeling better.” Haymitch said with a pat of your hand. You quickly grabbed his hand and pulled his back.

“I want to talk to him.” You croaked.

“I’m not so sure that’s a good idea.”

“I’ve waited to see him every day for the past 8 weeks. I need to see him.” You said with painful gasps of air between each word.

“Y/n, that wasn’t just some disorientation from his sedation wearing off. Peeta went through intensive torture while he was in The Capital.” Haymitch told you.

“What kind of torture?”

“It’s a method called Hijacking. They inject him with trackerjack venom and show him altered pictures of his life. It’s a form of fear conditioning. They have programmed his mind to see you as life threatening.”

“Can you reverse it?” You asked.

“We’re trying. But we have little to no experience with this sort of thing.” Haymitch sighed.

“Let me talk to him. He just needs to see my face.” You said and tried to sit up.

“You really want to go back in there after what he did to you?” Haymitch asked as he pushed you back down onto your bed.

“If it’ll help him get his memory back, then yes. He’d do it for me.” You said decidedly.

“You’ve never been one to accept “no” for an answer, have you?” Haymitch sighed, knowing he would never get through to you.

“Nope.”

“Fine. But we’re cuffing him.” He reluctantly agreed.

You were escorted back to Peeta’s room with an entirely new feeling in your chest. Last time you were coming to see him, you were giddy and hopeful. Things had been so good between the two of you on the last night in the arena. As you walked to his room now, you felt pure terror. It was like Peeta was possessed by a malevolent spirit that stripped him of every identifying feature you had grown to love. You pushed that feat to the side and entered his room.

“Peeta?” You asked as you pushed through the door. You could see the way Peeta immediately tensed up at the sight of you, so you stayed by the door as not to scare him.

“What are you doing in here?” He asked in a low voice.

“I came to see you. I’ve missed you.” You said as you immediately forgot to keep your distance and took a step towards him. You instinctively reached out to touch his bruised face, but withdrew it when he gave you a disgusted look. Instead, you folded your hands together and gave him a weak smile.

“You look terrible.” He stated, making your smile drop.

“You’ve definitely looked better.” You replied, making him roll his eyes.

“You’re not even remotely nice enough to say that to me right now.”

“Well I was never the nice one. You were.” You told him. Peeta’s expression changed when he heard this but his guard was still up. He looked away from you to look at the restraints on his wrists.

“I was beaten everyday for weeks.” He said without looking up.

“Peeta.” You whispered and took another step towards him. You reached a hand out again and his head snapped up to glare at you.

“I was shocked, whipped, starved, and isolated. Every single day. All because of you. So I’m sorry if I’m not nice anymore.” He said as his voice shook with rage.

Your mouth opened to say something but you found yourself speechless. You’d seen Peeta so many things, but you’d never seen him show hatred. You didn’t know the boy with the bread was capable of that feeling. You wiped a tear that had fallen before composing yourself.

“I never wanted to leave you behind. You need to know that. I had no idea there was a bigger plan at play. I wanted to go back for you. I swear I did. That was the only thing I wanted. But nothing was up to me.” You finally gave him the explanation you’d been practicing in your head for the moment you got to see him again.

“Me either.” Peeta said with a dry laugh. You nodded your head to show you understand his situation was much worse than yours.

“Because if it were, I would’ve let you get tortured by Snow. Not me.” Peeta continued as he raised his voice at you. You winced at the shouting and took a step back.

“I offered to take your place. Snow didn’t accept.” You explained. “I’m so sorry, Peeta. I’m sorry we didn’t get to you sooner. I’m sorry I had to leave you behind.”

“I’m sorry too.” Peeta said sincerely, peaking your interest.

“I’m sorry I threw you bread that day in the rain. I would’ve saved myself a lot of suffering if I just gave that bread to the pigs.” He shouted at you again and ruined one of your fondest memories of him, the very memory that got you through so much of the first games.

“It was the first my family had eaten in days.” You said with a sad smile, hoping Peeta would hear the kindness he had shown you and remember who he really was.

“I burnt it on purpose so I could give it to you. You know my mother beat me for burning it? Why would I take a beating like that for you?” Peeta asked genuinely. You could tell the Peeta you knew was long gone and the Peeta in front of you had no memory of ever loving you.

“Because you are kind. And generous. And people say you love me.” You answered him while hot tears spilled over your face.

“Do people say you love me?”

“I do. I do love you.” You insisted as you stepped forward again. Peter withdrew his entire body from you as much as he could with his restraints. You saw the way he recoiled and stood still.

“People say that’s why Snow tortured you. To hurt me.” You said once you composed yourself.

“Snow said everything out of your mouth is a lie.” Peeta snapped.

“I could say the same for him.” You said back, starting to grow angry. Not necessarily with Peeta, but at whoever came up with the sick joke of Peeta coming back to you but with an entirely new personality that hated you.

“They told me they would only let you in if they restrained me.” Peeta told you as he looked back down at his restraints.

“I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t want them to. But they wouldn’t let me come see you without it.”

“You know what I can’t wait to do once these restraints are off?” Peeta asked with a slight smile on his face. You grew hopeful that the Peeta you knew was coming back and stood up straighter.

“What?” You asked with the same soft smile.

“Kill you for the mutt that you are.” He said with an eerie grin. You gasped a little and took a step back from him.

“You don’t mean that. This isn’t you.” You shook your head as more tears fell down your face.

“This is me. If you don’t think I’m good enough anymore to be your little romance puppet, then get the HELL OUT OF HERE AND NEVER COME BACK.” Peeta’s voice went from a whisper to a scream as he raged at you. You blinked in surprise at his screaming before grabbing the door handle.

“I won’t.” You tearfully told him, then ran out of the room.

The next day, you were sent out to The Capital with your troop for the planned invasion. You were glad to have something to take your mind off of the Peeta situation, even if that something was active combat. Your distraction didn’t last long as you watched a large black truck pull up to where your troop was.

Several guards got off the truck, followed by Peeta. He was handcuffed and looking at the ground as he mumbled something to himself over and over. When he got closer, you realized he was reminding himself of who he was.

“My name is Peeta Mellark. My home is District 12.” He mumbled over and over to himself. It reminded you of when you did the same thing after you escaped the Quarter Quell and you felt a pinch of sympathy for him.

“Whats he doing here?” You asked Boggs.

“Coin wants him in the propos to show the districts that he’s free and on our side.” He explained.

“Do you honestly think he’s in any position to be thrown into active combat? He needs to be resting so he can recover.” You raised your voice, feeling misplaced anger over Peeta being thrown right back into a traumatic situation after what he had just gone through.

“I didn’t make the orders. If you have an issue, take it up with Coin.” Boggs shrugged. You gave him a nod and an apologetic smile to show him you understood he wasn’t the right person to get angry at. You hadn’t even noticed that Peeta had come closer while you’d been talking to Boggs.

“Hello.” Peeta said in a quiet voice. You turned around to see who he was talking to and when you saw no one, you looked at him in surprise.

“Me? Oh. Hi.” You replied stiffly and took a step back from him. Peeta noticed this and looked upset over it.

“How’s your throat?” He asked, taking you by surprise once again.

“Still a little swollen. But I’ll survive.” You replied curtly. Peeta looked at you for a minute and you could’ve sworn he had guilt behind his eyes. He looked down at the cuffs on his wrists and shut his eyes as if trying to block out a memory that dared to approach.

“When you first came to see me, I had just gotten back from the Capital.” He began in a weak voice. “The very last thing I had seen before I was rescued was images of you while a whole room of people told me you were life threatening. I thought my life was in danger when I saw you.”

“Do you still think that?” You asked him.

“No.” He said. Then followed up with, “Not all the time.”

“But sometimes?” You frowned in disappointment.

“Sometimes. They really got me, Y/n. The Capital really messed with my brain.” Peeta told you and you could hear the pain in his voice. You instinctively went to give him a hug, something you always used to do to comfort each other, then stepped back when you remembered that he probably wouldn’t want that from you anymore. Peeta realized what you had almost done and looked slightly disappointed that it hadn’t happened.

“I know.” You said after a beat of silence. You looked him in the eyes and nodded to show him you understood who he was being wasn’t really him. Peeta looked almost grateful and nodded his head as well. You gave him a short smile before walking away, feeling overwhelmed from how much you wanted the person he used to be.

It was too hard to be around Peeta now that he was different and no longer loved you, so you kept your distance from him. That didn’t stop you from looking over your shoulder every so often to check on him while your troop ventured into the Capital. You looked over at Peeta at one point while Boggs was checking the area for pods and saw that he was crouched on the ground and banging his head against his gun to make it hit the wall. His eyes were tightly shut and he was rocking back and forth as his face twisted in pain. You knew he must be having some sort of episode and you instinctively started walking towards him. You stopped when you remembered that he would probably just hurt you again so you stood there and watched him rock back and forth. After just a few more seconds, you couldn’t take it anymore and ran to kneel down beside him.

“Peeta?” You asked and pushed his gun down so he could stop hitting his head against. Peeta just kept hitting his head against the wall, so you pulled his head towards you and held his face.

“Peeta? What’s going on?” You asked him.

“I’m a mutt, I’m a mutt, I’m a mutt.” He whispered shakily under his breath.

“Shhh. No you’re not.” You said softly and tried to pull him into a hug. Peeta roughly pushed you off of him, making you fall back.

“Stay away from me.” He shouted at you. You stared at him in stunned silence and his face slowly melted from anger to sadness.

“Please. I’ll just hurt you again.” He said quietly. You nodded your head and got up to go back to where you were originally standing. You looked over at Peeta and saw that he was just sitting now with his head in his hands. You had no time to react to it before a tidal wave of hot oil came rushing towards you and your troop. You all collectively ran from it and went to seek shelter in a nearby building. As you were climbing the steps, you felt yourself being pulled backward and thrown onto the ground. You barely had time to react before Peeta stood over you and raised his gun as if to bash your head in. He was quickly pulled off of you by another troop member, but Peeta just overpowered him and threw him into the oil. You knew you had to keep running, so you got up and ran into the building. Finnick restrained Peeta once everyone was inside and you moved to the building across the street once the oil went down. You all watched from the window as Peacekeepers blew up the building you had been inside just moments ago. A mandatory viewing from The Capital popped up on the TV and everyone turned their attention to that. Cesar Flickerman announced that you, as well as you whole troop, had just been killing the the collapsed building as the footage rolled behind him.

You sat down and watched the footage from just a few moments ago of your troop running from the oil flood. And from a new perspective now, you watched Peter grab you by the waist and throw you to the ground. Even though you had just lived through it, you still gasped when you saw him attempt to bash your skull in with the butt of his gun. You gulped and looked over at Peeta, who was watching the screen with tears running down the haunted expression on his face.

“So now that they think we’re dead, what do we do?” Gale asked the room.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Peeta spoke, catching everyone by surprise.

“The next move is to kill me. I’m not in control. I just murdered a member of our squad.” Peeta said in a shaky voice.

“That wasn’t you.” You reminded him.

“It was me. I’m a danger to all of you while I’m alive. You should just kill me now and go on with the mission.” Peeta said in defeat. He was himself enough to know the extent of what he had done and somehow, that was more painful than when he was fully gone.

“If it gets to that point where we have to make that decision, I’ll pull the trigger myself.” Gale offered. Everyone seemed to nod in agreement, sparking your anger once again.

“No.” You said loudly, making everyone look at you.

“No one’s killing Peeta. We didn’t go through all that trouble to get him out of The Capital just to kill him.” You tried to sound strong but your voice shook at the mere thought of never seeing him again.

“But-“ Peeta began.

“No.” You cut him off. “You’ve survived too much to be killed by one of us. Since the beginning, it’s been about keeping you alive. That hasn’t changed for me. So no one’s killing you. I’m not losing you. Not again. Not for real.”

Silence filled the room, along with a palpable tension. You quickly dismissed yourself and went into the kitchen to stock up on food. When your troop started moving again an hour later, you moved in silence. Nobody spoke a word about your little outburst. Instead, you all went into the sewer system to avoid being seen by the Capital cameras. You walked for a few hours before settling down for the night.

“You’re the first watch.” Boggs told you moments after you sat down. You nodded and got up to go sit at the end of the tunnel, coincidentally next to where Peeta was sitting. You gave him a quick smile that he did not return. Throughout the night, your gaze wandered over to Peeta every so often, but he never noticed. He was too busy being lost in thought.

“Your favorite color is green, real or not real?” Peeta asked suddenly, speaking so softly you almost didn’t hear him. You perked up when you heard the correct detail about yourself and nodded your head.

“That’s real. You remember that?” You asked in disbelief.

“My memory is getting better. Some things are still fuzzy but I’m starting to be able to differentiate between what’s real and what The Capital made up.” Peeta admitted. You nodded in understanding and scooted closer to him.

“Do you remember anything else?”

“You used to wear your hair in two braids instead of one.” He recalled, making your lips curve into a small smile.

“Yeah. I did.”

“Why did you change it?”

“So my hair doesn’t get caught on my arrow when I pull it out of the sheath. See?” You explained as you pulled an arrow out of the sheath on your back. He watched curiously and then smiled a little.

“That’s smart.” He told you, making you smile as well.

“My dad taught me that. He said that’s how the women in his family wore it when they hunted.”

“Where is he now?” Peeta wondered, making your smile fall.

“He died a long time ago. In a coalmine back in 12.” You told him. Peeta’s face softened and he looked down at his lap.

“My parents are dead too.”

“Prim told me. I’m sorry.” You said and went to put your hand on top of his. You quickly withdrew it and Peeta’s expression somehow grew even sadder. You wondered how long it had been since the last time he’d been touched with something other than abuse. It must’ve been 8 weeks ago back in the Quarter Quell when you kissed him goodbye. Since then, he only knew pain.

“I don’t have anyone left. I don’t know what the point of keeping me alive is if I can’t keep control of myself. It’s not like there’s anyone waiting for me to come home.” Peeta said, drawing you out of his thoughts. You looked at him like he was crazy and sat up to look at him.

“I’m waiting.” You stated. “I’m waiting for you to come home.”

Peeta stared into your eyes for a while and even in the dark, you saw glimpses of the boy you nursed back to health in the first games. The cheeky, witty, and ever loving boy you’d grown to know was staring back at you for the first time in weeks. You wanted to lean in and kiss him, but you knew he would hate it.

“Your favorite color is Orange.” You blurted instead.

“It is?”

“Yes. Soft orange. Like the sunset.” You told him. Peeta smiled softly and looked at you with gratitude.

“Can you tell me anything else?” He asked in a soft voice.

“You’re a painter. And a baker. You always sleep with the windows open. You never take sugar in your tea. You always double knot your shoelaces.”

“Thank you.” He smiled as he looked into your eyes.

“You’re welcome.” You replied, getting choked up over speaking of the Peeta you once knew.

“I guess you know me pretty well, huh?”

“You learn a lot about a person when you’ve been through what we’ve been through together.”

“Haymitch told me they used Trackerjack venom on me in The Capital. You were bitten too once, real or not real?” Peeta asked you.

“Real. In the first games. After I dropped a nest on you and the careers.”

“I remember making sure you ran away before they did to you what they did to Glimmer. I had to fight Cato to keep him from going after you. I remember wanting to run and follow you, but I didn’t. My leg was too wounded.” Peeta recalled as he stared off into the distance as if he could see it.

“I remember when I found you by the lake. You had camouflaged yourself to look like the ground. You scared me half to death when you grabbed my ankle.” You thought about for the first time in a while.

“I remember that too.” Peeta looked at you and smiled a little.

“I thought I was about to be killed. But when I realized it was you, I had never felt such relief.” You continued as you stared into his eyes.

“That seems like so like ago.” He said wistfully.

“I know. Can you believe those were the simpler times?”

“Nothing is simple anymore. I’m scared it never will be again.” Peeta admitted and looked down at his cuffed hands.

“Me too.” You whispered without ever taking your eyes off him. He blinked slowly and you realized he must be exhausted.

“You should get some sleep.” You told him.

“I’m okay. I don’t need it.”

“We all need it. Just close your eyes. It’s my turn to keep watch anyway.”

“Okay. Just for a little while.” He reluctantly agreed. You watched Peeta shut his eyes and within minutes, he was out. You watched him sleep for a while because for the first time since he had been rescued, he looked peaceful. You felt a little creepy for staring so you eventually looked away and stared down the tunnel beside you.

You suddenly felt something on your shoulder coupled with the tickling sensation of Peeta’s hair on your skin. You looked down to see his head had fallen onto your shoulder in his sleep and he laid peacefully with his head buried in your neck. You gasped a little at the feeling of his skin on yours once again. There were so many times where you thought you’d never touch him again, so to feel his warmth once more brought a range of emotions. Your eyes filled with tears and you sucked in a sharp breath before resting your cheek on top of his head. Tears slipped down your face so you turned your head inwards to kiss the top of his head. You knew you’d never get the chance to do this when he was awake, so you savored every minute of it in case it was the last time. You listened to the sound of Peeta’s shallow breathing before picking up his hand and slipping your fingers between his. You felt a little selfish, but you needed the memory of holding his hand to replace the memory of his hands around your neck.

The peace and quiet didn’t last long and you were up and moving again at the sound of footsteps in the tunnel. You quickly dropped Peeta’s hand and woke up your team before taking off running through the sewers. You ended up having to fight off some mutts that definitely didn’t kill Finnick because who would possibly write something like that not me.

When you got to the surface again, you all ran for your lives as Peacemakers shot at you from all directions. To make matters worse, the ground was being torn up beneath you as you ran. You looked over your shoulder for just a second to see Peeta fall to his knees.

“No, no, no.” Peeta cried and started to hit himself in the head. He curled into a ball as he shouted something unintelligible about being a mutt.

“Peeta, come on. We have to keep going.” You urged as you tried to pull him up.

“I’m a mutt. Leave me behind. I’m a mutt!” He cried and continued to bang his head into the floor.

“Peeta, come on. Get up.” You commanded and tried with all your strength to pull him off the ground.

“I’m a mutt. I’m a mutt.” He whimpered as you got down on your knees beside him.

“Peeta.” You shouted, making him look up at you. Now that he was caught off guard, you pulled him into a kiss. You probably needed it more than he did, but it worked exactly how you’d hoped. When you pulled away, he was entirely himself again and looked at you with that familiar fondness in his eyes.

“Stay with me.” You breathed out. Peeta gulped and then nodded his head.

“Always.” He replied. You took a minute to feel joy over this before pulling him off the ground and running with his hand in yours.

Cressida lead everyone to a shop in town owned by Tigress, a stylist you recognized from the first games. She agreed to hide everyone in her underground cellar while the chaos outside calmed down. When everyone sat down to catch their breath, you stayed standing.

You looked around and noticed Peeta sitting by himself next to a pole. You went over and sat beside him before wordlessly taking the cuffs off of him.

“You should keep these clean or else they’ll get infected.” You told him as you dabbed them clean with a wipe.

“You should cuff me again. It’s still not safe with me.” Peeta said, sounding miserable. You didn’t want to cuff him again, but you knew in your heart that he was probably right. You picked his hand cuffs up and he held out his wrists. His face looked so miserable that you dropped them back into your lap.

“I’ll cuff you tomorrow.” You decided. “You shouldn’t have to sleep with them on.”

“Are you sure?” He asked you.

“Yes. I trust you.” You replied, making his eyes soften a little.

“Even after everything I’ve done?” He asked quietly.

“I know who you are. And who you’re not. When I see you do the bad things, it’s like I’m watching someone else. The Peeta I know…” You trailed off when you felt yourself getting emotional at the thought of the old Peeta. You had to look away from him or you knew you’d cry.

“The Peeta I love isn’t a bad guy. He’s safe and warm and kind. And I owe him my life. So yes, I trust you.” You answered as you stared at your filthy nails. You desperately wanted to see Peeta’s reaction to that, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look up.

“I’m trying really hard to trust you too.” Peeta said after a beat of silence.

“It’s okay. I can’t imagine the war in your head right now. Take your time. Just keep your hands off my throat if you can.” You finally looked up at him with a teasing smile.

“I’ll try.” He returned the smile and you saw a glimpse of the boy you used to know. Peeta looked down at his freed wrists and rubbed them a little.

“Do you not want to cuff me because you want to hold my hand in my sleep again?” He asked without looking at you. Your stomach dropped when you realized you were caught.

“You know about that? I thought you were asleep.”

“I was. But I woke up when I felt you.”

“And you let me hold it?” You asked in disbelief.

“It’s been a long time since someone touched me like that. I wasn’t gonna stop you.” He admitted.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know why I did that.”

“I know why.” Peeta said, making you look at him.

“If I die, you didn’t want the last memory of my hands to be painful.” He continued, somehow knowing your exact thought process.

“That’s exactly why.”

“I thought you said you didn’t know why.” Peeta cracked a smile.

“I was lying.” You admitted

“Snow was right about you. Everything out of your mouth is a lie.” Peeta said with a straight face. Your face fell and he immediately looked concerned.

“I’m kidding. That was a joke.” He assured you.

“Oh. Sorry.” You slowly cracked a smile when you realize Peeta had just made a joke. It reminded you of the time back in the first games when he jokingly said he’d take the bow.

“It’s okay.” He replied and an awkward silence fell between you. You wanted so desperately to keep taking to Peeta, especially now that he seemed more like himself, but you had nothing to say. He was already so fragile so you didn’t want to do or say anything that could set him off. As you raked your brain for happy things to talk about, Peeta broke the silence.

“You know, Haymitch told me you only agreed to be the Mockingjay if Coin agreed to make rescuing me and the others a top priority.” He said without looking at you.

“Yeah. I did.” You confessed. “I never wanted to be the face of this rebellion. I just wanted you home.”

“He also said he woke up to the sound of you screaming for me every night.” Peeta said as he looked into your eyes. You stared at him for a while as you remembered all the times you dreamt about him coming home only to wake up alone in your bed. You felt a tear roll down your face and quickly looked away so you could wipe it. Peeta kept his eyes on you as you did this and you could feel it.

“When you kissed me back there, it was the most lucid I’ve felt since I was captured. Everything was crystal clear to me for a second. Nothing The Capital had conditioned me to believe seemed real. Just for that second though. Now everything is fuzzy again.”

“I wish I would’ve kissed you longer.” You half joked as another tear rolled down your face. Peeta stared at you for a minute with a fondness in his eyes before leaning in. You kept perfectly still as Peeta connected his lips to yours. Even before he was high jacked, Peeta normally wasn’t the one to initiate kisses. He always left it up to you because he knew you had boundaries and he never wanted to push you past them. So to have him kiss you now, especially after what he had been through, made emotion swell up in your chest. You relaxed again this lips and kissed him back, feeling the same hunger for him you felt on the beach. When he pulled away all too soon, he stared into your eyes as if he was trying to figure something out.

“Sorry. I just wanted to see if things would be clear again.” He said in a sheepish voice.

“Were they?” You asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Yes. Things became very clear.” Peeta said matter of factly. You allowed yourself to feel hope for the first time in who knows how long and eagerly waited for him to speak again.

“It’s gonna take a long for me to fully come back. If I even do make a full recovery, I don’t think I’ll ever be the same.” He said with a sadness in his tone but hope in his eyes.

“I’m prepared to love every version of you.” You said simply. Peeta blinked a few times then smiled a little.

“I thought your love was just an act? To win the games?” He asked genuinely.

“It started as that.” You admitted. “I definitely played it up in the first arena to survive. But there were moments, even in the first games, when it was completely and truly real for me. It wasn’t always an act. And I wish, more than anything, that I could go back in time and make sure you knew that. Before all of…this happened to you. I wish I told you what you meant to me. I wish you could’ve known how much I loved you.”

“Well we can’t go back in time. Not even The Capital has figured out how to do that.”

“I know.” You sighed in disappointment and looked away from him. Peeta watched your face carefully before putting his hand on top of yours.

“But I know now. And it made me happy to hear you say that. It made me feel liek myself for a minute. Is that enough for you?” He asked. The inflection in your voice was so true to the old Peeta that you could’ve be sworn he was cured. You looked into his eyes and then reached out and allowed yourself to touch his face after all the times you stopped yourself.

“Yes, Peeta.” You told him. “That’s enough.”

#peeta mellark x reader #peeta mellark x you #Peeta mellark fanfiction #Peeta mellark x fanfic #Peeta mellark fluff #Peeta mellark angst #peeta mellark

[balletfilmss]

HOME TO HER

✸ pairing: percy jackson x daughter of hera! reader smau

✸ notes: requested by @aryxchse!! i tried out tweets with this one bc i think they’re SO fun so lmk what you think 😚

…now playing: you & i — one direction

itsyn: dear camp jupiter, you can’t keep him, he’s mine 🤍🫶

tagged: itspercy

view all comments

itspercy: they couldn’t keep me away from you even if they wanted to

╰┈➤ itsyn: they better not try again bc i have a bow and arrows and ik how to use em

╰┈➤ itspercy: use them next time your mom tries to square up w me

╰┈➤ itsyn: 🤺🤺🤺

wise.girl: HEY I (unfortunately) TOOK THAT SECOND PIC, WHERE’S MY PHOTO CRED???

╰┈➤ itsyn: pic creds to my amazing sweet gorgeous angel spectacular best friend annie 🫶

╰┈➤ wise.girl: thank you 😌

pipermcqueen: third pic is the best photo i’ve ever seen of percy

╰┈➤ wise.girl: because his face is covered?

╰┈➤ pipermcqueen: YES MAAAAAM

sunshinesolace: yall they got matching users, ain’t NOBODY separating them

╰┈➤ itsyn: damn straight 😤

╰┈➤ sunshinesolace: damn HUH?? WHO?? WHERE?? LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER

╰┈➤ itsyn: AJSHSK THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT AND YOU KNOW IT

itspercy: i look fly as hell in that first pic 😮‍💨

╰┈➤ pipermcqueen: someone humble this man rn

╰┈➤itspercy: PIPER LET ME LIVE

praetor.reyna: girl TAKE HIM PLEASE

╰┈➤ itsyn: don’t worry rey, i’ll keep him on a leash or smth and away from you <3

╰┈➤ itspercy: HELLO??

╰┈➤ itsyn: the leash can be blue, now shush

╰┈➤ itspercy: 🫡

…now playing: work song — hozier

itspercy: sorry future mama-in-law, but you could never make me forget her

tagged: itsyn

view all comments

jaygrace: hera throwing a temper tantrum over that caption rn i just know it (i don’t mean it, queen, pls don’t hurt me 😇)

╰┈➤ itspercy: hoes mad 🤷‍♂️ (hoes is obviously jason…just in case anyone was wondering)

╰┈➤ itsyn: shut up rn, both of you

itsyn: im not crying, you’re crying

╰┈➤ itspercy: NO BABY DONT CRY

╰┈➤ itsyn: IT’S TOO LATE TO SAY THAT 😭😭

wise.girl: WHO TOLD THIS MAN ABOUT HOZIER???

╰┈➤ itsyn: um, guilty?

╰┈➤ itspercy: hozier is me in disguise bc that song WAS written about my sweet girl yn

gman_: why do you always have THE MOST INTENSE EYE CONTACT W THE CAMERA LIKE???

╰┈➤ itspercy: fabulous genetics, courtesy of the queen (MY mom)

itsyn: i love you water boy ☹️

╰┈➤ itspercy: i love you more angel

╰┈➤ itsyn: IMPOSSIBLE

╰┈➤ itspercy: POSSIBLE

╰┈➤ itsyn: WE’RE NOT DOING THIS AGAIN

jaygrace: IMAGINE getting all your memories back

╰┈➤ pipermcqueen: JASON STOP TRAUMA DUMPING IN THE COMMENT SECTION 🗣️🗣️

╰┈➤ itspercy: it’s okay bro, all you’ve gotta remember is me

frank.zz: if juno comes for your ass over that caption, i am NOT helping this time

╰┈➤ itsyn: haven’t you been observing, frank? if she tries again imma get her, obviously 🙄🤺

╰┈➤ itspercy: problem SOLVED

praetor.reyna: imma get you a shirt that says “if lost return to yn” so we don’t have this problem again

╰┈➤ itspercy: and i will wear it religiously, give

itsyn: NO GRAVE COULD HOLD MY BODY DOWN

╰┈➤ itspercy: I’LL CRAWL HOME TO HER (you)

╰┈➤ itsyn: 🤭🤍

#୨୧ love letters #୨୧ sealed with a kiss! #percy jackson #percy jackson x reader #pjo smau #pjo #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson x fem!reader #percy jackson x you #percy jackson imagine #percy jackson oneshot #percy jackson x y/n #pjo fandom #pjo thoughts #percy jackson smau #smau

[66bins]

I'm rereading Mockingjay for the upteenth time and it's just so fascinating how Finnick and Katniss constantly become closer and closer parallels to each other as the series progresses.

At first, Katniss emphasizes how he's the capital's superstar and she assumes that he's a shallow womanizer. But then she sees how much he cares about Mags. She learns that he's madly in love with Annie, like how she loves Peeta (even if she hasn't figured it out yet). Even before she actually meets Finnick there are still parallels, like how a 14 year old boy shouldn't have any better chances at winning the games than a girl from District 12.

They become more similar than ever in Mockingjay when they're both left broken in District 13 while their loved ones are being tortured in the Capital. Both meant to be strong leaders of the rebellion, yet reduced to inconsolable shells of their former selves.

And when their loves return to them? Now it's not just Annie who's gone mad. The setup is a subtle, sick foreshadowing.

#thg #katniss everdeen #katniss and peeta #peeta mellark #finnick odair #finnick and annie #annie cresta #mockingjay #the hunger games trilogy #the hunger games

[seeingivy]

three days 

roommate eren x f!reader  

three years can feel like an eternity, if you let them

**find the mini-series masterlist here

content warning: eren being miserable, jean being annoying again, hitch being even worse 

an: ok I promise we return to regularly scheduled sweet boy eren after this (which is almost done being written) :00000

previous part linked here

-

Eren doesn’t sleep well. Some part of him was always flighty - twisting and turning every time he heard a noise, the fan whirring, the room creaking. He’d been like that, since he was a kid. 

His mom had mentioned that when she visited the nursery for the first time, right after he was born, that the only reason Zeke could point him out in the row of other boys was because he was rustling, struggling against his swaddle. 

The only thing that put him at ease? Kept him still through the night? You. When you would still sleep in his bed. 

The first night, after you so quickly mentioned that the two of you were a mistake, he couldn’t sleep. He could still smell you, your peach scent pressed against his pillows and his blankets. He runs his hand against his pillow cases, wishing you were here with him. 

The following morning, it took him thirty minutes to brace himself. To face you. He has to fight the urge - to touch you, press himself against you and kiss you full on the mouth. Like he should have, when you asked him to. 

He should have just done it. Maybe you’d still be here with him if he would have. Screw Zeke. All that shit about making a special moment, making your heart flutter. He should have just kissed you. 

When you were in the bathroom, getting ready. When you put his necklace on, when he lost you in the crowd, when he carried you at the concert, when you kissed his fucking cheek, when you asked him to. 

He braced himself. Deep breaths, grounding techniques. Just like Mikasa and Armin taught him. When he leaves the safe confines of his room, he finds that your key was off the hook and your sneakers were absent from the door. You left already. You’re avoiding him just as much as he’s avoiding you. 

You don’t return that night. He’s okay with it. He can’t see you. Not yet anyways. 

- 

It worries him, the second day. You still haven’t returned. He couldn’t have messed up that badly, could he? You couldn’t hate him this much, so much so that you wouldn’t come home. 

He marches over to the office, where Armin, Jean, and Annie are supposed to be. He’s hoping you’ll be there. That he’ll open the door and find you there, sprawled across the floor like you usually are.

But you’re not. Just Jean, Armin, and Annie - staring him down. 

“What’s wrong with you, Eren? Why are you…panting?” 

“Nothing, Annie. I just thought Y/N might be here.” 

“She’s out of town. Left a late notice yesterday morning for Victor.” 

“Oh. Okay.” 

“She didn’t tell you?” 

“No. Must have been in a rush. I didn’t even see her before she left.” 

Armin and Annie return to their work, Annie typing on her computer and Armin grading his papers.

“I saw her before she left.” 

Of course he did. 

“How did she seem, Jean?” 

“Well, a little bit earlier. She came to our apartment after she met Hitch.” 

Right. When you ran out, after he handed you the tulips. 

“Well, what did she say?” 

“Nothing much. Just asked me who she was, that’s all.” 

“And what did you say?” 

“Just the usual. That you guys pretended to see each other during soccer season, because of Marlowe.” 

“You didn’t tell her that I liked Hitch, right? That I’m with her or anything?” 

“No. Just that you guys are close during season because you spend time together and all.” 

There goes any hope of it being a misunderstanding. He doesn’t sleep that night either. Your scent on his pillows serves as a cruel reminder.  

- 

The third day, Hitch comes by. You’re still not back and he hates it. He’s had to throw the breakfast he made for you away twice, because he keeps forgetting you’re not here. 

“Are we still on?” 

“Yeah, Hitch. None of the other stuff, okay?” 

“Sure. Marlowe should be at the games and parties, so just then.” 

If he can’t be happy, someone should. He doesn’t mind it, holding Hitch’s hand here and there, slinging his arm around her shoulder to make Marlowe mad. To push the two of them together. He just wished it would do something to you, so you’d come running back to him too. 

The second she leaves, all he can think about is your absence. It’s all he thinks about anyways. He hates that it’s true. That distance makes the heart fonder. 

That’s all he wants to do. Just see you. He doesn’t care how you are - angry, pissed, detached from him. He just wants to see you, in your kitchen. He wants to hear you, singing in the shower, and watch you, sitting in the stands at his games. 

He just wants you back. In whichever way you’ll have him. 

He doesn’t sleep that third night either. Your peach smell is gone from his pillows already. He hates the passing of time. 

 - 

You return, in the dead of night. He’s sure of it. He can hear you out there, your tiny footsteps clinking the dishes into the sink. 

He nearly runs out the door, just to make sure you’re there. And you are, rinsing the dishes he left out. You’re back. 

He fights the urge. To run up to you, press you against his chest, to pepper soft kisses all over your face. 

“Y/N.” 

“Hey Eren.” 

God. Your voice. He didn’t realize that this was something he could miss - your voice, the stray hairs by your ears, the sound of your breathing. But here he is. Reveling at the sight of you. Doing the fucking dishes.  

He walks up, pressing his hands against your frame and leaning his head against your shoulders. He can smell it - the peach smell. It makes his heart ache and he tries to will down the tears. He loves you, doesn’t he? 

God. He can’t love you, can he?

“Am I imagining you or are you really here?”

“Really here, Eren.” 

You’re back. He won’t let you leave again. 

“I haven’t seen you in three days.” 

“I went to see Porco and Pieck for the weekend.” 

“It’s Tuesday. I was worried about you.” 

“Sorry Eren.” 

He can’t even do it. Be mad at you, tell you he was hurting the past few days. He can’t even remember it now, the feel of your skin against his hands was enough. 

“It’s okay. You wake up Porco and Pieck with your morning concert while you were there?” 

Your voice doesn’t fill the air, the sound of the plate in your hand crashing does. He immediately jerks up, your hands still dangerously close to the shards that were now swirling around in the water. Before he can pull your hands out, run his eyes over your fingers to make sure you weren’t hurt, you mutter three words that catch him off guard. 

“Screw you, Eren.” 

He can feel his breath stopping in his tracks. He’d never heard you like this, especially with him. Your voice was soft, sweet honey saccharine. Even when you were fast asleep, all tangled up in his sheets. So why were you angry?

“What?” 

“I’m so sick of you making fun of me all the time. If something I do annoys you, you should just tell me, instead of making passive aggressive comments.” 

Making fun of you? All the time? You couldn’t be serious. There’s no way you misunderstood that. He loves your singing - that you’re comfortable enough to scream in the shower when he’s a few feet away. That the music makes you happy enough to sing out loud, to dance in the kitchen, to share it with him. This couldn’t come out of nowhere. Because you have to know. You have to know that he loves it. 

“Hey, what happened, peaches? You could never annoy me. I was just teasing you.” 

He watches his words hit you, the air tightening in his chest at the sight of you pushing your hands against your eyes. No. No. He couldn’t have made you cry. 

“You happened. I’m not something for you to laugh at Eren. I have feelings too, you know?” 

He watches you move, slamming your door against the frame as you scurry into your room. 

He doesn’t understand it. How you were tangled in his arms, breathing soft against his ears as he kissed you four days ago and now you can’t stand him. He hates it, that he knows how you feel, your touch. Maybe it would be easier if he hadn’t known it at all. 

- 

“We’re okay, right?” 

The question comes three days later, one of the first times you and Eren had been alone in your apartment, since your argument. You kept inviting people over, so you could avoid this. That look, that question, talking about it. 

You nod, wordlessly, sorting out the paperwork. It’s easier to focus on the papers than his eyes. 

Eren had mentioned that the two of you needed to go into town tomorrow, to meet your landlord. Kenny Ackerman. He was apparently a touch eccentric, so he was preparing you for the meeting. You just had to officially sign onto the lease. But how do you tell Eren you’re not even sure you can live with him anymore? 

“How have you been? Lately?” 

You hate this. Be cool about it. 

“Good, Eren. Just busy. How about you?” 

“I’m good too. Soccer season and all that.” 

You wish he was kind enough to be cruel about it. That he could either love you or hate you - nothing in between. You’d prefer that, him declaring he doesn’t care for you. It would be easier that way. But he stays the same - caring, thoughtful, warm. 

“When’s your next game?” 

“Today.” 

“Got your good luck charm?” 

“It broke actually.” 

He opens the kitchen drawer, pulling out the key and the snapped chain. He hands the pieces to you, as you run your fingers along the chain. 

“What are you going to do?” 

“Not sure. Let’s hope I don’t break an arm or something.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“I’ve worn that necklace every game I’ve played since I was twelve. One time I forgot it and I broke my ankle.” 

You laugh, twisting the key in your fingers, as you look at him.

“You can’t be serious, right? That’s just a coincidence.” 

“It’s real.” 

“Did it ever happen again, Eren?” 

“No. Do you think I’d ever play a game without it? That’s like basically asking for it.” 

You laugh, the two of you stuck in the middle of the kitchen. You hate this. That he can make you laugh, even after not talking for a week. That some part of him is always familiar to you, that you want to let him in. 

“Do you still have the necklace I gave you?” 

At the concert. 

“Ah yeah.” 

He digs his fingers underneath his shirt, pulling the silver chain out. You spin your finger, signaling for him to turn around. You quickly take the latch off and string the key through the chain before securing it back on. You tap his shoulder and he faces you again, watching you readjust and tuck the necklace back into his jersey. 

“Thanks peaches. Saving my life here.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” 

Sometimes you forget why you’re mad at him. Why you can’t do this. Hitch walks out of Eren’s room, right on cue, with green glitter spread across her face. Right. That’s why. 

“Hey Rennie. Still can’t find it.” 

“I’m not sure what I did with it, Hitch.” 

“Have you seen it, Y/N?” 

“Seen what?” 

“His extra jersey. I wanted to wear it to the game today.” 

Right. The jersey he gave you. To wear to all his games. 

“I think it might have gotten mixed up with my laundry. I’ll go check my room.” 

You retrieve the jersey from your room, your knuckles nearly white when you hand it over to Hitch to wear to the game. You make a mental note to fold and return the rest of Eren’s clothes you had and put them in his room. There’s no point in keeping them at this point. She gives you a smile, taking the jersey to go change into. 

“You didn’t have to give it to her.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“I gave it to you for a reason.” 

“I don’t mind. It makes sense anyways - girlfriends always wear jerseys to the games.” 

“She’s not my girlfriend.” 

“I know.”

Girlfriend, fling, your roommate you kiss sometimes. It’s all the same thing. As much as you think you’ve given everything, that there’s nothing more that can hurt you, the universe proves you wrong. 

You’re sure it’s all the same with her too - kissing scars, pretty dresses, soft kisses. It’s a bad omen, but you hope it hurts for her as much as it does for you, when it’ll end.

- 

next part linked here

taglist: @maliakealoha @smolone88 @mykyoon @squirrelspoetry @roronoazorosbxtchh @fell-4-u @erensleftnutt @thelazylemur @mg63k @filunara @mblrrr @spidersinmybutthole @lezsie @erensmoodygf @maesthebestmonth @nanamiswife22 @lalalucidity @lapin0u @cullenswife @leafguitar @saiyasworld @rebeccawinters @mrs-sullys-blog @red-moon-dream @icansmellsouls @luvinclouds @katestrophes @amourely @6sakusa @miralbdo @k0z3me @celiniverse @txminie-blog @erenspersonalwh0re @s0f14sbs @violetmatcha @sweetenertea @wheredidmycrowngo @serendippindots 

reply under this post or any of the one’s linked above to be added to the tag list! <3 

#seeingivywrites! #eren #eren angst #roommate eren #eren x you #eren x reader #eren x y/n #eren jaeger #eren jaeger x you #eren jaeger x y/n #eren yeager x reader #aot #aot x reader #aot x you #aot x y/n #snk #snk x reader #snk x you #snk x y/n #attack on titan #attack on titan x reader #shingeki no kyojin #read more break

[callmewrinkles3]

When Emma Falls in Love - DR3 x Fem!OC

Summary: Christmas involves the same thing every year for Em. A week in Liverpool, formal clothing, and returning to her apartment to shower and have a bottle of wine to forget how bad it was. But this year she's spending it in Australia with Dan and his family. No big deal.

Words: 11.4k

Warnings: Mentions of past bad relationships, mentions of cheating, mentions of toxic family relationships. Panic attacks, worry, mentions of sex (but nothing explicit) and mentions of sex toys.

AN: HEEEEEEEYYYYYYYY remember us? First things first - apologies for how long this took. The plan was Christmas, but life has been ridiculous and too busy and we just apologise. Thank you for still being here and enjoying reading more about Em and Dan!

December 2018

When she was growing up, Em never kept a diary. She was the odd one out for many reasons in primary school, that was just one of them. She was too afraid of her mother finding it when “cleaning”, reading what was on her mind and telling her to stop. She hadn’t started it as a kid, and it didn’t begin when she was an adult either. But if she did have one, the first words on the page for December 22, 2018, would have been "I think I'm in love with Dan." And to say "I think" would have been a blatant lie because she knew.

She knew that night in the bar for his birthday that she was going to fall for him. She knew in Philadelphia as she sang that she only bought that dress for him to take off. She knew in Austin when he kissed her in front of another woman.

That morning in July when she woke up from one of the greatest nights of sleep in her life with Dan’s arms around her and his snoring lulling her back to sleep like white noise. Every single time he let Blake out of their shared taxi first and circled the block to come into hers when he got back from travelling. The way he never arrived home without a bouquet of flowers because she’d once said she never thought she could buy herself some. But that afternoon in Perth she couldn’t hide from the realisation anymore.

She’d been working in the early afternoon after she made lunch for the two of them and Isaac, coming out to find her boys napping on the couch. The plan had been for them to watch a film while they waited for her but toddlers were not known for their patience. She couldn’t blame Isaac for sleeping, and once Dan got comfy he could nod off anywhere.

The two of them had been up early that morning picking Isaac up for a day out and a sleepover to let Michelle finish getting ready for Christmas. Once they made it back to the farm it was running around and playing at the pool with a stop for lunch. Em had prepped sandwiches for their lunch before disappearing to work for a few hours so she didn’t fall even further behind. And now they were fast asleep, blond curls against Dan’s off season stubble.

The craving to curl up on the couch and cuddle into them was overwhelming. There was nothing else she wanted at that moment, just hug them and kiss Dan and stay there forever. But she couldn’t.

Yes, she was Auntie Emmy to Isaac - a fact he’d announced to them that morning running to greet her with chubby cheeks and “ANNIE EMMYYYYYYYY” - but Auntie Emmy was Uncle Dan’s friend. And nothing else.

She was just his friend. Even though she was the only one sleeping in his bed, even when he was basically living in her crappy flat in London. Even when it was her name he groaned out when they were together as he pulled her close. And that was why she couldn’t admit it to him. Admitting it to herself felt nearly too much.

It hurt. Oh it ached. But it was better to hurt a little bit and enjoy getting to have Danny in the way that so many people didn’t know Daniel Ricciardo, than say how she felt and break the spell. She could suck it up and bury her feelings and stay by his side as his best friend. If she didn’t say it out loud then it wasn’t real and if it wasn’t real then it couldn’t hurt her badly.

And she couldn’t tell him. She couldn’t see his face fall, couldn’t hear “we said we were just friends, nothing more.”. Couldn’t bear to have to leave people who for the first time in her life seemed to actually like her because she’d ruined it. So she’d stay quiet and get to have Christmas with people who seemed to want her there. She’d enjoy summer in December and have those weeks. Especially if it meant she got time with Isaac.

Em had fallen in love with him the first time she met him in real life in Abu Dhabi, and the feeling was mutual. She could count how many times she’d seen him in person on both hands, but he was as crazy about her as she was about him. His cheeky smile warmed up her heart. The way he ran to give her a hug after the first time they met was one of her favourite things in the world. How he reached out to her so she would hold him during the insanity of that first weekend. But it was the way that he was so much like Dan that made her heart grow ten sizes.

Physically they didn’t look alike apart from those curls they’d all inherited from Grace, but their personalities were identical. Dan joked it was why Isaac liked spending so much time with her, but she smiled and brushed it off. For her own sanity she couldn’t let that get into her head. She couldn’t do it. Not when whatever they were had an expiration date and she didn’t know how long it would last.

All of that combined meant she couldn’t resist watching them for an extra couple of moments, enjoying how relaxed they were snoozing together. She took a photo of them with her phone to secure the memory forever. She wasn’t sure what caused him to stir, if it was the small noise from the camera or if it was her moving, but Dan opened his eyes slowly and focused on her. A smile began to go across his face.

“Wanna join us? We can stay like this for a while.”

She desperately wanted to say yes. She wanted to lie down next to Dan and fall asleep with his arm around her. But she shouldn’t and she couldn’t. Anything that wasn’t at least platonic seeming had to stay just them. Sure Dan had put an arm around her shoulder or waist with his parents, but not with Isaac. She didn’t want that with him. He was too small and she didn’t want to confuse him with acting like a couple when they weren’t. If she couldn’t explain what was happening to herself then she couldn’t to him.

“I’m gonna get a start on dinner,” Em whispered, blurting out the first excuse she could think of. “Is pasta ok?”

The moment the words left her lips, she made her one fatal mistake. Kissing the top of Dan's head and then Isaac's cheek. It was supposed to be the briefest moment, a peck and then go to the kitchen. But the moment she leaned down to kiss Isaac's head his litttle hand reached out for her, not letting go. He didn't say anything, just grumbled and rubbed his head against Dan's chest before settling back down.

"I think you have to stay for a while. C'mon." He shifted slightly to let her slip beside them, settling down. "I know what you're thinking. It's fine."

"Danny-"

"I promise. It's fine." She should have stood straight up and headed out. Before she could even think about moving away Isaac woke up enough to smile at her, moving across to have half his body over Em, half on Dan. Then she was definitely not going anywhere, not when his tiny hand clung to her shirt to hold her there.

"I always knew he'd be a heartbreaker and steal someone's girl at some point in his life. I just never imagined it'd be mine."

"He's got that Ricciardo grin and those curls, what can I say?" Dan chuckled lowly at her words, his chest shaking as he held it back.

"That's not fair, I saw you first."

"I'm not some toy, you don't need to fight him over me."

"I mean if I need to I will." It was Em's turn to keep her laughter down, swallowing it so she didn't wake the sleeping toddler.

"No, it's fine. You don't need to."

"Just had to be sure."

She really didn't mean to fall asleep. She shouldn't have, she wanted to just stay for five minutes before carefully moving Isaac across and standing up to do something. But having Dan's chest as a pillow and Isaac as a tiny weighted blanket didn't help her. Dan smelled like the shower gel they were using and home, Isaac's baby shampoo mixing and making her feel peaceful and dozing off easily.

When she opened her eyes she thought she'd find her fast asleep boys, but instead they were wide awake. The youngest was staring at the film he hadn't finished, the oldest looking straight down at her when Em looked up.

How was she not supposed to fall in love with him? That broad smile and big eyes and how was she supposed to keep it platonic when he looked at her like she hung the moon and stars every single day. He called her his moon once and the compliment made her blush for a week. It was impossible to not fall in love with him, and that was the moment she admitted it. The way he stole tiny kisses while Isaac was distracted. She was gone.

They stayed like that for the afternoon, what was supposed to be a homemade meal turning into driving out for pizza for the three of them. Isaac stayed on her hip until they got him into a highchair, laughing and enjoying his food. She felt at home and happy and was so glad she was there.

It was why she said yes when he asked her what she was doing for Christmas and if she wanted to come to Australia with him. She missed him when he had a double header abroad, she couldn't imagine spending six weeks apart when he went home for Christmas. They could have done it and would have been fine. They'd done it before, but that was before feelings and sex and friends with benefits was added to the mix they had going on.

Em missed him back when they just texted and had a couple of calls, so she had to say yes. But it was terrifying to get on that plane with Dan to go to Perth. It took a call from Grace insisting she wanted Em there and everyone was looking forward to seeing her to make Em feel like it was ok.

Once she made the decision to go to Australia to spend weeks there with Dan it wasn't too scary, but the fact that she was introduced to Dan's world was. Especially now that she was slowly admitting that she'd fallen in love with him. Since the start Em had tried to deny it to herself, insist that it wasn't true. That she had no feelings for him apart from friendship and being proud of him.

But that was like saying the sun wasn't going to come out the next day. On those days where Em wasn't sure about it herself, he made her sure. If she didn't know better she'd think that was his own personal mission to make her fall in love with him. There were texts, calls, facetimes when he probably didn't have time. A text telling her to open the door because she had a delivery. How could she not fall for him?

The easiest way to fall in love with him was what he did every single trip home. She'd leave a sandwich in the fridge before she went to bed, and he came back to her tiny apartment. He had his own one that he could be in, he could go back to somewhere comfy and warm rather than her tiny one bed where the heating rarely worked. But he stayed with her. He took over doing things to make her life better, buying new sheets that were more expensive than she'd ever pay because they were softer and calling the landlord to make him fix the heating after he came back from Brazil and the apartment was freezing.

She couldn't help falling deeper and deeper in love with him when he slid into bed and wrapped his arms around her, whispering how happy he was to be back home. He could have been comfortable and warm in his apartment but instead he was there with her. The chill in the air was ignored as they pulled whatever clothes were on off, Dan marking her body as his. Week after week that was exactly what happened in beds around the world as she travelled to the US and Abu Dhabi to watch him race. She was starting to believe that maybe they did belong together as night after night they got into the same bed, whispering sweet nothings and bringing each other pleasure before curling up to sleep.

It's what happened at the farm when they were alone. Officially Em had a guest room to herself, but Dan's room became theirs. She spent so much of her days stepping outside of her comfort zone, it was exhausting and made her stomach ball up, but being with him was easy. Waking up with his arms around her was perfect. Getting into bed with him every night felt normal. It was terrifying and normal and brilliant. It was easy for her once she got over her worries, especially after that day with Isaac on the couch. His tiny hand over her chest became the reminder that what she thought would be a bad day wasn't so bad. It's part of why she wished Isaac could have been there the night she met Dan's friends.

She knew what coming to Australia when Dan went home for the winter break involved. And when she was invited she didn't even think about it, just went for it. She knew she was going to be introduced to his favourite places in his hometown, spending most of their nights out on the farm, getting to be around his family, and some nights out with his home friends to meet them. She could excuse herself once or twice from nights out because she was never a big fan of it, but she could let the social butterfly she was accompanying go out to hang out with people. He didn't get to see his friends for most of the year, she was more than happy to stay home with her huge to read list on her kindle or a good movie.

But Dan wanted her there. He wanted to spend time with her and his friends and have them all together, and she couldn't say no to those big brown eyes. Spending time with his family was easy, she knew most of them and those she didn't know at least knew of him. But the bigger issue was when she met his friends.

It was supposed to be easy. A get together with his mates so they could catch up and everyone who lived in Perth could finally meet the famous Em. There was just one problem.

Em wasn't good with people.

It wasn't that people didn't like her, it wasn't even that she didn't like people, it was that whenever she was around people she got tired quickly and couldn't deal with them for too long. Dan was one of the rare people she didn't hate being around for more than a few minutes. He'd promised it wouldn't be anything fancy or crazy, that she didn't need to stress about it, but she still worried.

She liked to think that it would have been different if they met somewhere else. In a bar or club where she could have made an excuse to go outside for a few minutes, be somewhere neutral. But meeting at the farm was somehow worse. Dan had told her to stay by his side and she did, but she felt like she was being a bother. He told her that she didn't need to do anything, she was a guest too, but her mother's words kept going around in her head. She should be helpful, she should be useful, she should be this that and the other. If she didn't help at gatherings then what use was she? Sitting next to Dan cutting tomatoes and onions for the burgers wasn't enough.

She shouldn't feel like she was suffocating when she was with his friends. They all seemed lovely, the guys who'd known Dan since he was a kid and told her stories about what he got up to in school, girlfriends who were genuinely sweet asking her about England and her work. But it felt like it was too much. The flickering light from the firepit and the music playing and the voices made her brain go a million miles an hour, all she wanted was to get out of there. Curl up and bed and read a book. She stood there smiling and she couldn't even lean against Dan because they were supposed to be just friends. They were friends. It's how he introduced her. Em, his friend from England. Not Emmy, that was only for him, but Em.

Nobody there had any idea that as soon as the parties and dinners were over he snuck into her bed. That when he got back from being all around the world he came to her home. She was just Em and she had no idea what she was doing there. She didn't know what they were but just friends didn't cut it anymore, and even being outside on the farm it felt like she couldn't get a deep breath into her lungs. The air slowly left her body and she could barely get it in.

She wouldn't forgive herself if she ruined Dan's night. He was so happy there, tanned and grinning as he talked to people. Em decided another beer to replace her empty one and a deep breath in the kitchen would help. Just two minutes away from the crowd. She went in, grabbed two bottles from the fridge and took a few deep breaths to calm herself down. She could do it. She'd be fine and she'd get through the rest of this night. She could do it.

"Thought you were into blondes, mate," it was clear as a bell even through the noise, a dagger hitting into Em's chest. Did she seem like just a girl?

"Shut up, it's not like that." She knew they were just friends. But hearing it like that was different. It was the straw that broke the camel's back and she didn't remember the last time she wanted to cry that badly. She wanted the ground to open up beneath her and just swallow her whole so she can hide but she wasn’t lucky enough. She blinked back tears, ignoring the knot growing in her stomach and the anxiety seeping into every pore. Em’s heart raced and she could hear the whooshing sound in her eardrums. Why was she there? The questions bubbled through her brain but that was the loudest. Why did Dan invite her there? Why was she there? Why did he want her to be in Perth?

Em couldn’t stay there anymore. If she stayed out with everyone she’d break down and start crying and the last thing Dan needed was her dramatics. She didn’t want to ruin the reunion and the good time he was having. So she took a deep breath, had a sip of her beer, and pretended she heard nothing. She just needed to keep it together for long enough so Dan didn’t suspect anything. She could smile and nod as if she didn’t care about what his mates said.

All she needed to do was pretend that she was fine, and then she could run back inside and be alone. She felt terrible just thinking about it. She couldn't do one fucking thing right and be a normal person for one night and have a normal night. It just made her feel awful for Dan because he had done everything to make her comfortable. Not just that night, but he'd changed his home so she felt at home. He insisted he was in charge of the burgers so that he could make one that was cooked the way she enjoyed it - a squirt of ketchup, one slice of cheese, wrapped in two napkins so her fingers didn't get greasy. He got her a Coke Zero or a lemon San Pellegrino so she had options when she didn't want a beer. There were even some of her favourite songs on his playlist for that night, Paramore playing out over the group. He did every single thing right. But she was ruining it all.

Em tried hiding how she was feeling but it was useless. The second she was back at Dan's side he knew something was wrong. The question was quiet, asking if she was ok, but her nod was too fast and she could tell that he didn't quite believe her. Dan's brown eyes stayed on her as she tipped the rest of her bottle back.

"Mind if I head to bed?" She was proud of how even her voice sounded.

"You sure you're ok? What's up?"

"I'm fine, just jetlagged and tired still. I'll be fine."

"See you in a lil bit?" She didn't answer him, making excuses and quick comments so she didn't start crying around new to her people. It was saying how lovely it was to meet them and saying they'd get coffee or meet before she went back to England. She was so polite and correct she almost sounded like her mother and it made her want to vomit. A final quick squeeze on Dan's shoulder and she was gone.

As soon as she was in the house she just had to do a quick trip to the bathroom, change her clothes, and go into bed. But she couldn’t go into the room she'd been sleeping in. That was Dan's bedroom and she couldn't switch the light on or people would see. So in the fading light of dusk she grabbed her pjs, the book she'd been reading, and the bottle of water she kept on her nightstand. From there she went to the guest room that was supposed to be her room. Dan had mentioned it'd be her room in Abu Dhabi, just across from his. That first night he'd insisted she didn't have to sleep there if she didn't want to and they'd ended up in his bedroom and Em didn't want to leave. But now she had to be in her own room. It'd be fine.

The last thing she wanted anyone to see was her crying. Somehow she got the door of the guest room closed without letting out a sob, panic growing in her chest. Stupid, stupid, stupid. She shouldn't be crying. She had no reason to cry. She knew what she was doing.

Her back slid against the door as she ended up on the ground. Her sobs turned to gasps as she struggled to get a deep breath, thoughts burning her head. She wanted to be curled up in the bed that she'd spent the last week sleeping in. She wanted Dan's arm around her, wanted to sit on his lap and sip from his beer bottle. Wanted to forget that the night had even happened. That the man who'd been sharing her bed for the last six months preferred blondes. That the man who she'd been falling in love with might not feel the same way, and they'd agreed they were just friends and said that they weren't going to break the rules and love each other but she had. She wanted her brain to shut up with the "why the fuck does he sleep with me then" that was filling her mind with doubts.

But more than all of that she wished she was brave enough to leave. Pack her bag and go to the airport and fly back to London. Because Dan deserved so much better than anything she could offer. He deserved a beautiful blonde woman who didn't freak out during a party and could afford to rent an apartment with working heating and didn't run away to hide and cry because she couldn't cope. Of course he wouldn't pick her.

But she could barely move. Somehow she managed to stand up once she'd caught her breath, pulling on her tshirt and leggings to sleep in. From there she made it to the bed, lying and pulling up the blanket to try cocoon herself as her tears kept falling. All she wanted was for Dan to magically appear and hold her to stop her chest from feeling so tight. A hug from Dan was magical, it'd make the pressure go away in no time. But he was with his friends and she didn't blame him. She was his friend. They were just friends and she had absolutely no right to be upset about it, but it hurt.

She wasn't planning on getting a lot of sleep that night. The awful feeling in her chest wasn't getting any better, her heart was still racing, and her head ached thanks to crying so much. Finally the tears stopped and she turned onto her side in the too big bed.

A knock on the door made her close her eyes and force her breathing to even out. She didn't want Dan to see her like that. She couldn't explain what she was feeling, she couldn't start rambling about it because then she'd have to admit how she felt and that wasn't going to happen. She couldn't admit that she'd broken every rule they'd come up with and fallen in love with him. She couldn't lose him. She couldn't lose his friendship and what they had so she had to stay quiet.

"Emmy? You awake?" Em should have known he wouldn't leave even if she didn't answer, listening as he padded around to her side of the bed and knelt down, his thumb brushing the still damp skin on her cheek.

**

The second Emmy squeezed his shoulder as she said she was still jetlagged and going to bed, Dan knew something was wrong. She hadn't been ok since she got back from the kitchen with their drinks, but watching her nod and fake smile as she went back inside felt so wrong. And then he stared at their room, waiting for a light to go on and the curtains to close. But nothing happened and it felt even worse.

He knew she wasn't a fan of big parties, his friends were more like him than her and were loud but she'd been ok. He made sure she was stuck to his side for the evening, she smiled when he handed her a perfectly wrapped burger made just the way she liked them. Dan knew it wasn't easy for her, she'd told him that she found big groups hard to deal with. She was the dictionary definition of an introvert who preferred to sit with a book in silence rather than be surrounded by loud people. But she was fine.

He'd asked a couple of times, not wanting to annoy her by constantly thinking something was wrong. He'd offered if she wanted to go inside and hide out for a while he'd make excuses but she insisted she was fine. Emmy ate her burger and snacked on some chips while chatting with his mates. He heard her laugh and one of the lads made a comment about how Dan kept staring at her. He was happy.

And Em was fine until she'd leaned over to offer to get him another beer when she was getting hers. He knew she heard what Mark said, his quip about blondes. The shut up didn't go fast enough and she'd been close enough to hear. She came back looking like someone had punched her in the stomach, big eyes sad even under her fake smile. There was nothing Dan could do to make her feel better.

What he wanted to do was pull her onto his lap, arms around her waist as they shared a drink. He'd tell her that yeah he'd slept with blondes before, dated some as well, but he was hers. He was so fucking crazy about her it was insane. Dan was absolutely in love with her, and terrified to say it because she could do so much better than him. They'd promised they'd stay friends, falling in love wasn't on the list.

But he couldn't even describe how much he loved her. He loved her long brown hair, the way it fell down her shoulders and back. He loved standing behind her and brushing it out to apologise for the mess he'd made it by wrapping it around his hand and pulling her hair the way that made her groan in all the right ways, using it as an excuse to kiss along her neck. He loved the way she smiled at him. How she made jokes and laughed at them herself. How she wrapped her arms around him and welcomed him home. The carefully covered sandwich that waited for him.

He didn't want any blondes. He wanted his gorgeous, brunette Wrinkles, and just maybe in the future if he was lucky enough he'd get to have gorgeous little babies with her hair and eyes and personality. He'd never, ever wanted that until now. And then it felt like she was slipping through his fingers with one evening.

She finished her beer, excused herself saying something about jetlag, was sweet and polite and so un-Emmy it hurt, and whispered to him that she was going to bed. The going to bed wasn't a surprised, she was still jetlagged and had been tired before they even got to Australia. She was the first to head to bed every night anyway. But the way she did it worried him.

Even around his family she kissed his head before she left the room to go to bed. It was what they did when there was people around and they couldn't actually kiss because of the comments. She'd move his curls from his forehead and give him a quick kiss there or on his cheek, or if he was sitting she'd kiss the top of his head. When they were alone he'd go to bed with her, but if he was staying up she'd peck his lips and wait for him in bed.

There was none of that. Instead she gave him a tiny, sad smile and squeezed his shoulder. Like they were just friends. Like she didn't share his bed every night. It was like a knife in his back, a kick in the stomach. That was enough to tell him that something was very, very wrong. He didn't expect a kiss, but he never thought that would be it.

It was all his fault, and the second he realised their bedroom light wasn't going on he knew it. She was nothing like his friends, his life was so different to hers, but he wanted his people to love her. He needed them to. He was so used to the way their lives were intertwined that he didn't think. He was so excited to be home and happy to see his friends and introduce them to her that he made the wrong choice. He should have had it at some neutral place, brought her to a bar to meet everyone. The way he'd done it when she met his family, how it was easier because it was a new place for them all. But he took the party to her one safe place in a foreign country and that wasn't fair on her.

It wasn't how he imagined the night ending. All he wanted to do was hold her. That was his plan for the night. Get into bed, hug his girl, steal some kisses, and call it a night. He wasn't even thinking about sex that night, just curling up with Em. He knew she'd be too tired to do anything and he'd probably have too many beers to make it good for her. So he wasn't even going to try to make a move. He'd hold her, sleep drooling into his pillow, and not have the alarm on so he could have a chill morning with her. Dan was too used to going to bed holding his Emmy, falling asleep with her in his arms and her hand against his chest. And then she was gone and he had the biggest hole in his chest knowing he'd ruined it all.

Dan had no idea what to do. He couldn’t kick his friends off the farm telling them his girl wasn’t ok and needed him. Firstly Em wasn’t his girl, not to them. He’d said over and over that they were friends and she was visiting. Nobody truly believed him, but it was the official story. He couldn’t make them leave but his brain was screaming that he needed to go to Em right then. Something was wrong and he needed to fix it. He needed to make sure she was ok. But all he could do was wait and yawn.

"You alright, DR?” One of the guys asked him.

“Yeah, just exhausted. Nightmare of a season if I’m honest. Looking forward to next year! Maybe I’m getting too old now I’m turning 30?” It was a half joke that got a laugh from the assembled guests. Fortunately they took it for what it was and started making their excuses to leave. An hour later he watched the last people leave as he waved. Once those lights were gone from the driveway he ran back to the house as quickly as he could get in.

His heart broke as he opened the bedroom door to find the empty room in complete darkness. When he switched the light on it was even worse, Em’s belongings still there. Her pillow, the blanket she loved, her Snorlax plushie he’d brought her back from Japan, even her Kindle. Only her water bottle and the book she was reading were gone.

It was a punch in the gut to realise the only other room she could be in was his least used guest room. The fact that Emmy thought she needed to stay in another room felt wrong. His room was their room. He’d made sure to decorate it to be similar to their room in London, parcels arriving to the farm the week before they arrived. The fairy lights, the purple curtains, the scented candles, the extra soft sheets and bed linen to make her smile. It was all for them. It was to make Emmy happy and feel like she was at home because in the back of his head there was a hope that it could be their home in the future. Dan had thought it was working, but now it felt like it was falling apart.

It took a few seconds for Dan to get the courage together to knock on the spare room door. He was scared Emmy would tell him to leave, would tell him to go away. But instead there was silence. He knocked again but the same lack of answer was the response so he decided to go in.

The room was in absolute darkness apart from the faint moonlight coming through the window. It was enough that Dan could make out Em resting on the bed, blankets up to her chin. All Dan wanted to do was get into bed with her, to spoon against her and hold her close, but he knew she wouldn’t like that. So instead he walked around to her side and knelt in front of her, stroking a lock of hair falling over her cheek. He didn’t know if she was in the mood for hugs, didn’t know if she wanted anyone, so he didn’t want to do too much. He saw how her eyes were closed and could feel her damp skin under his thumb. Em’s breathing was too even, she wasn’t really asleep.

“Emmy? I know you’re awake Baby girl.” It took a moment for her eyes to open as she looked up at him.

“I was tryna sleep.”

“I know. But why aren’t you in bed?”

“I am.” Her words were short. “This is a bed.”

“It’s not our bed, Beautiful.” She was at least looking at him, but something still wasn’t right. “C’mon back to bed.”

“I’m fine, D. Go on, it’s fine.”

“It’s not fine. You’ve been crying.” She looked like she was about to start crying again, Dan holding her hand and running his thumb along the back of it.

“I’m fine, Dan. I’m fine. I’m just tired, it’s been a long day. Go to bed.”

“Not without you.” He watched as her gaze softened slightly and he just wanted to kiss her to make her smile. “Can I like down here with you and give you a hug?”

“You don’t have to, Dan. We can just go to sleep.”

“But I want to. If you want me to.”

“…That’d be nice.” It took a few seconds for Em to respond and Dan was terrified she’d say no. He’d accept it, but he wouldn’t like it. He got in behind her, pulling Em against his chest. Her whole body was tense as he turned her around so they were in their usual sleeping position. She began to relax as his hand rubbed her back, Em’s head finally resting against his chest.

“You know, Snorlax is all alone in the other room. And our bed is way comfier than this one.” He kept his hand moving as she tensed up again, looking into Dan’s eyes.

“I’m too tired to move.”

“Nobody said you have to move. Trust me?” There was a nod and he pulled her over to the other side of the bed before stepping out. It was easy to pick her up and carry her out to their room, carefully depositing her back in their bed before he got in beside her. “See? Back where we belong and without you needing to move a single one of your cute toes. And back with your fluffy friend.”

It was quiet between them for a few moments, something Dan mostly expected. Whenever Em got like this she always went quiet while she thought. Finally he heard her bare whisper.

“I’m sorry I ruined your night.”

“You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for. You didn’t ruin anything, you never could. I’m sorry I invited everyone around and had them all invading your space. I shouldn’t have.”

“Dan.” She leaned up and kissed his jaw to make him smile. “It’s your house and your friends, of course you should have. It’s fine.”

“No it’s not. I should have done it differently, we should have gone somewhere else. And believe me when I tell you that you can’t ruin anything. Even if you tried to ruin something you couldn’t.”

“You’re too nice to me.” The hollow way she said it broke a little part of Dan’s heart.

“Emmy I promise. Everyone should be nice to you because you deserve it. You deserve happiness and goodness. And a whole lot of cuddles.”

“Will you cuddle me?” He couldn’t help but hold her even closer at her request.

Dan had no idea which lucky star was looking out for them but it felt like there was a whole constellation instead of just one star. He knew Em wouldn’t do it but he was ready for her to kick him out of the room. Instead he was so damn lucky that he got to hold her while she dozed asleep. He didn’t have the guts to try to explain the comment she’d overheard, he wasn’t going to push his luck, but at least he got to hold her. They could keep going from there.

—

Em couldn’t remember when she actually fell asleep. She was positive that she wouldn’t sleep at all that night, but Dan’s arms around her and his heartbeat under her ear was the best sleeping pill to ever exist. She didn’t know how he did it but he always managed to make her drift off. Even on the worst nights when her brain wouldn’t shut up he did it.

She woke up too early, the sun barely rising and illuminating the room through the blinds. She shot awake at the realisation that Dan wasn’t against her back anymore. At some point in the night she moved from Dan spooning her to her turning around and cuddling into him like she always did. Her face was buried against Dan’s chest, his arms holding her tight, and their legs tangled between each other. She raised her head slightly, Dan grumbling at her moving, and kissed his chest before going back to sleep with him.

The next time she woke up it was full morning. The sun was coming in through slits in the blinds and felt completely opposite to her emotions. She was so exhausted. Em had cried herself to exhaustion, her anxiety and nerves filling her. All she wanted to do was curl up in bed with her book and preferably with Dan cuddling her. But she was so tired she barely even noticed Dan kissing her shoulder and gently leaving her in bed. He was probably just going to the bathroom before coming back to the warmth and cuddle her.

She must have dozed off, she had no idea how long he was gone for, but she woke up to kisses on her cheek and the scratch of his off season stubble against her skin. The smile on her face was automatic. Waking up that way was one of her favourite things in the world, kisses from the man she was falling for were the best feeling and she wouldn’t change it for anything in the universe.Without even thinking Em hugged him back, almost forgetting the words from the evening before. After a horrible night all she needed was Danny. Em just wanted her human weighted blanket over her.

“I made breakfast,” Dan whispered, lips still glued to her skin. “I’ve got your coffee and toast and that jam you like. Figured you wouldn’t want to get up so it’s here whenever you want it.::

“Huh? You didn’t have to do that.” She looked up at him with disbelieving wide eyes. How could he get up to make breakfast and bring it into her after everything that happened? He did it more often than not when they were in England, but she didn’t think he’d do it that morning.

“You always say that, and I always say I do it because I wanna. Are we gonna have this conversation again?”

“No, not really. Thanks for doing it anyway.” She caught him in a kiss but as she went to move he didn’t let her.

“Don’t thank me. Especially considering it’s gonna get cold cause I’m too comfy to move.”

“Dan…”

“Five minutes.”

Like every morning when Dan asked for five minutes in bed with her, those five turned into ten, then fifteen, and then she lost count. It started with kisses against Em’s neck and her hands running along his shoulders and back. But it ended with their clothes somewhere on the floor, fingers laced and moaning each other’s name. Coffee could be reheated, toast could be eaten cold or remade. But none of it mattered when Dan was inside her, whispering how good she felt and how she was the best girl, giving her another reminder that it was still them. Inside the walls of their bedroom it was always going to be them. If that was all she was going to get, it was going to have to be enough. Dan’s groans and gasps helped silence Em’s ghosts for a little while so she took advantage.

The rest of the day involved Dan looking after her while they had a lazy day. A few small excuses, a rescheduled afternoon with his family blamed on hangovers, and they decided to either stay in the bed or on the couch and do nothing. Dan insisted it was payback for the mess of the night before. Em didn’t particularly care about his reasons as long as she was by his side.

It was how they spent their days in Perth, mostly glued to each others sides except for if Dan was going to Michael to start working on a training plan or see his friends. She started to get used to being a part of his life in Australia. Dan made sure that none of the events were at the farm, always at a restaurant or bar unless it was just his family. Every single time they went anywhere Dan whispered in her ear before they went in that she was the one in charge. Say a word and they’d be on the way home. She was trying to fit into his life just like he was trying to keep her safe, and Em couldn’t thank him enough for it.

She was starting to get used to Perth, relaxing more as she spent more time there. But as Christmas got closer she lost her chill. Two days before Christmas she went through the clothes she’d brought with her and none of them were good enough for an event. She had no idea what a Ricciardo Christmas involved, but none of her outfits were right. She had some cute summer dresses, but they were normal everyday things. She’d wear them to the beach or to lunch or maybe even to dinner with Dan’s friends, but not for a proper day. There was nothing formal like what she’d wear to her family’s Christmas dinners that met her mother’s approval.

Em knew Dan would say she looked good in anything she wore, but she was terrified. All she wanted was for them to like her. The idea that Dan’s family might not like her was scary, and she needed to make sure that she was perfect. She couldn’t ruin it over clothing. Em had hidden most of the anxiety she had around being good enough for them but that night it was too much. Her stomach was in knots and she kept fidgeting in bed. The same page was read over and over, but she had no idea what it said. She pretended it was fine until Dan kissed her cheek, pulling her book from her hands as she jumped.

“Emmy what’s wrong?”

“Huh?” She shook her head and looked over at him.

“You haven’t turned the page in like fifteen minutes, you jumped when I kissed your cheek, and your feet keep moving. You’re overthinking. So talk to me, what’s going on?”

“What if they don’t like me? I didn’t bring anything proper to wear because you kept saying it was hot and I don’t look proper. I should have brought something proper with me.”

“If who doesn’t like you?” The concern in his voice made her want to melt.

“Your family, Dan.”

“Emmy…Baby you know they lo-like you already. Mum’s the one who invited you. Isaac absolutely loves you and is obsessed with you, ‘Chelle made a joke that you’re gonna have to have him on your lap when we’re eating. You can wear any of the dresses you’ve been wearing. You look phenomenal in them. I’m gonna wear shorts so you’ll be fine. What’s this about?” Her head spun. Shorts? At Christmas? No no no. What?

“Huh? Not a suit? Or at least trousers and a shirt? You’re wearing shorts?”

“I’m not wearing a fucking suit, it’s summer. It’s way too warm to do that.”

“Oh.”

“We can head out tomorrow, find a new dress for you if you want. But if you want my opinion you should wear that little red one you have, it’s cute. You look good in all your summer dresses, but red is kinda Christmassy, right?”

“But it’s a summer one?”

“And it’s probably gonna be like thirty. What’s wrong with that?”

Her head was filled with the reminder of the year before, of her mother’s glare at the heels Em made herself wear because if she didn’t she’d barely be allowed into the party. But they were only Primark so they weren’t good enough. And she didn’t have many presents for Dan’s family and

“Emmy. What’s up? Talk to me.”

“It’s stupid. But if I didn’t have changes for the different parts of Christmas Day and if I wasn’t wearing a formal dress and heels and men weren’t in suits then it wasn’t acceptable. Plus I only have little presents not proper gifts, I don’t know what to do.”

“Calm down. It’s ok. All you need to do is turn up as yourself, that’s it. We’re having a barbecue and hanging out by the pool cause it’s way too hot for anything else, I promise. We’ll be in swimwear most of the time.”

The next morning Em was still half convinced she should try to have something proper to wear, but Dan convinced her there was no need. If she wanted to go shopping he’d drive her in and help her choose, but she didn’t have to. She didn’t need to do it so his family would like her, they’d like her anyway. Instead it was a morning of soft kisses on the couch to convince her but Em agreed to wear the red dress Dan liked so much. It had a shallow v neck, was knee length, and the fabric had a white floral pattern. Dan insisted it looked wonderful with the soft tan she’d picked up since they got into the country. Pairing it with black slip on sandals meant she’d be ok. She’d look fine.

Which led her to the freak out of how could she appear at Joe and Grace’s home to stay a few nights without bringing anything as a thank you? She couldn’t do that. So they stood in the Cole’s checkout queue for far too long on the 23rd as Dan watched her pick out her baking ingredients. By that evening there was a berry tart and a three layer chocolate cake packaged up in the fridge awaiting delivery with them. It was entirely stress baking, even Dan knew it. But he didn’t make any comments. Instead he sat on the kitchen counter and watched, stealing strawberries and taste testing her concoctions.

Christmas Eve morning arrived and Em wasn’t as nervous as she thought she’d be. The full day of Dan talking to her about how it was going to be alright and everyone was looking forward to see her had helped. There were still nerves, but she was going to spend a couple of nights with people who wanted her there, wear cute clothes, and she had host presents to give as a thanks for being invited. Really she couldn’t wait.

Plus Dan had made it his personal job to make sure that she was completely relaxed that moaning. It started with slow morning sex, Em waking up to kisses along her shoulder and wandering hands. After that a shower for the two of them and waffles with her leftover berries for breakfast really helped, Em fully relaxed. She double checked that the presents were all perfectly wrapped and packed to go, and after lunch she decided to finally start getting ready for heading over.

Dan was sitting on the side of the bed switching between watching her put makeup on and fiddling with his phone. She knew she wanted to look mostly natural but she put a red lip on to go with her dress. She was put together and ready to go. She could do this. It was going to be good. As soon as she opened her lipstick up Dan spoke.

“You know red’s a risky colour when you consider I’m definitely stealing kisses under the mistletoe.”

“The package says it’s kiss proof. You’ll be fine stealing a peck.”

“Ah my sweet, innocent Emmy. You thinkI’m gonna steal just one little peck?” He grinned and kissed her briefly but filthily, tongue slipping between her lips as Em kissed him back.

“That’s the last one, your entire family will be around.”

“And?”

“And that means your family and kids. So no.”

“We’ll find somewhere, you’re not gonna make me go a full day without a kiss.” He pursed his lips at her but Em ignored them, focusing on making sure her liner was perfect and her lipstick matched it.

“You know you’re ridiculous, right?” It was supposed to be a joke, but he got the look on his face that she knew meant he’d done something.

“Talking about ridiculous, actually-“

“Daniel what did you do?” He went to his side of the wardrobe, pulling out a red glittery box from behind some bedsheets.

“Before you say anything, I did nothing. It was all Santa. Not me.” He handed Em the box and she looked up at him carefully. They’d agreed that he wasn’t getting her a present this year because he’d paid for her flights to Austin and Perth. She never wanted him to ever think that she was friends with him because of his money. None of it mattered to her.

“Dan we said.”

“I know. But it was Santa. And he couldn’t give this to you in front of everyone so it had to be now.”

“What have you done?”

She opened the box he’d handed her carefully, lifting the lid and pulling back two layers of tissue paper to reveal the gifts. The main one was some of the most beautiful lingerie she’d ever seen in her life. It was sage green and lacy, the fabric soft against her finger. The corset wasn’t a proper one, not boned but she knew it’d look amazing. A pair of stockings at the bottom of the box made her realise how perfect it would be.

“It’s nothing. I just wanted—“

“Oh this is pretty. This is really, really pretty.” She lifted the underwear out to let the lace catch the light, admiring the design through it.

“You like it??” Dan sounded nervous.

“I really like it. I mean, I could wear it Boxing Day when we get b…what’s this?” As she moved tissue paper a smaller box she hadn’t realised was there hit off her fingers. Em picked it up and looked at the sleek silver lettering. For her pleasure. When she opened the box there was a light lavender vibrator in the black box. A charging cable was neatly beside it along with a dust bag.

“Look if you don’t wanna use it, it’s fine. If you want to pretend that you never saw it and throw it away, that’s completely fine. But we were talking and you said you’d never tried one, so I thought why not? It could be an option for you.”

Em’s cheeks were on fire as she realised that Dan was doing it for her. She’d barely made it through the awkward conversation when he’d asked her what she liked in bed. It was impossible to explain how bad her sex life had been before him. She’d never thought it was, but the way he acted when she said it was ok for him to not worry about her orgasms had soon taught her the opposite. She still remembered the way Gregory looked at her when she said she wasn’t enjoying their sex life. Now she knew he’d been with Millie that entire time when he insisted she was enjoying herself.

She forced herself out of her thoughts, staring at Dan. He looked worried and she forced a smile. His face relaxed when he realised she was ok.

“Will you use it with me?” She felt like her body was about to rip apart from shakes and nerves as she got the words out but Dan’s grin made it worth it.

“Absolutely. We can do it right now.”

“We have to go to your parents, so when we get back. And thank you. But Dan you didn’t have to. I don’t need presents, you paid for my flights. That was enough.”

“I mean I think it’s technically more for us than just you, so it’s fine. Right?” She grinned at him and leaned against his shoulder for a moment before getting up.

“Get dressed or you’ll be late.” Em started to fix her makeup as Dan looked at her.

“Can I watch you get dressed first?”

“No touching, but you can.”

“You’re killing me here, woman!” It hurt to not just sit in his lap and kiss him but they were already starting to be late. She couldn’t be late for a visit that involved staying over.

As a little nod to his request, Em slicked on a light pink lipstick instead of the red one she planned on wearing before putting on her red dress. The no touching rule was ignored the second she moved past Dan. Instead he squeezed her butt and kissed her neck before going to get changed. As promised he was casual, one of his party shirts, a pair of shorts, and Vans. Effortlessly handsome as normal and Em was jealous of how good his slightly longer curls and stubble looked.

If she was honest to herself all she wanted to do was take her dress off, get rid of the stupidly expensive shirt he was wearing and spend the day kissing him. Ask him to use the new toy sitting in the box. But they couldn’t. They needed to get going. When they were about to head out the door Dan decided to steal a kiss. It was supposed to be just one final one, but it turned into two. Then three. Then Em was pinned against the wall, hands running through Dan’s hair as his hands gripped her hips and waist. She pushed her lips to wherever she could reach, kissing up the bridge of his nose and along his cheeks.

Em would never admit it in a month of Sundays to him, but it was the right decision to not wear the red lipstick. Her whole face would be red. They needed to go. Get in the car and leave, but he was addictive. It was one of the things she adored about him and sometimes hated, how hard he was to leave behind. Every time they said it was the last one there was just one more.

She knew they wouldn’t be able to do this for another two days. The plan was to stay with Grace and Joe for Christmas Eve and Day, so they could be around all the family for the festivities before coming back on Boxing Day. Which meant no touching or kissing, and she couldn’t say no to the last make out session for 48 whole hours. She giggled at Dan’s expression as he moved away, Em using her thumb to clean the sheen of lipstick from his lip.

The one thing she didn’t expect was Dan grabbing her hand when they walked to his truck, and holding it again in between shifting gears while he was driving. It had never been a thing for them until they arrived in Perth. They’d been grocery shopping and picking up last minute presents in a crowded supermarket, everyone out to prepare for the season. Out of the blue there were fingers linking hers, Dan holding her hand while they walked through the aisles. His fingers interlaced with hers until they got to the checkout, and then went back as they walked back to the truck.

Grabbing someone’s hand for a moment in a crowded place was fine. Friends did that in busy places so they didn’t lose each other, especially when one of them was new to a place. You don’t lace your fingers with them. And Em couldn’t bring herself to let it go while she tried to ignore the size difference or how good it felt.

She really did try not to think about it, but it was impossible while his thumb rubbed lazy circles against her skin. He was soft and warm and his long fingers were one of her favourite things in the world. Sitting in the car then she could admit it to herself, she loved him. She loved the way he made her feel about herself almost as much as she loved him. And then the playlist flipped over and a grin spread across her face while she heard the opening fiddle strains of Our Song.

Em didn’t even need to say anything. All she did was look over as Dan was intently staring at the road with a grin on his face to know he did it deliberately. He’d learned pretty early on that a surefire way to cheer her up was to put Taylor on. Em could still never thank him enough for that night in Philadelphia when they’d gotten to see Our Song live without the band. It had been magical. Dan started to sing along with his exaggerated accent to make her giggle. There was nobody else for her, all she could focus on was being happy. The nerves, the worry faded away as she sung with hi, and collapsed into giggles when they finished. Em sang it looking over at him, watching how he grinned and shimmied in his seat as they drove the road back to the city instead of staying out at the countryside. All she wanted was to kiss him silly and start her Christmas Day sharing a bed with him. It’d still be worth it, but it was weird.

She may not have gotten a Christmas Eve kiss from her favourite member of the family, but Isaac wouldn’t let her go and kept kissing her cheek. He insisted on sitting next to her at dinner, Dan on Em’s other side. Dan casually ran his hand along her thigh under the table cloth as they all ate. She joked and laughed along with everyone, getting Isaac to eat his veggies thanks to the joy of stealing from Auntie Emmy’s plate and not even realising what was happening.

The best part about the meal was nobody judged her for her plate of food. Everyone else was eating the Feast of the Seven Fishes, plates piled with seafood that she didn’t particularly enjoy. Instead Grace had handed her a plain one, with pasta and sauce and cheese. She smiled when she got it, getting a “enjoy”.

There was no pressure on Em to try new things. The serving platters were spread on the table for people to take what they liked. If she wanted something and it looked good to her she could have it. If she liked it, great. If not Dan was happy to eat off her plate. Once they started talking and sharing drinks she couldn’t remember why she was so nervous. She knew the Ricciardo’s. She’d spent days with them, relaxing and watching Dan race. This was just another dinner like the ones they’d had before, except here they had a celebration as an excuse.

When dessert came around Grace brought out Em’s cake and tart, placing them in the centre of the table.

“Em made these, so I’m saving the pav for tomorrow. I hadn’t put it together and these are fresh!” Grace announced as she handed out bowls, Joe cutting into the cake first and showing the layers. It was congratulations and compliments towards Em, Isaac grinning as he ate his tart. It felt strange to get complimented for what she’d done by people. Usually she stayed quiet and in the background because she didn’t want to speak too loudly.

Even with the worry that someone would ask questions Em could feel herself relaxing beside Dan. He had his arm resting on the back of her chair, hugging around her shoulders like it was nothing. She wanted to move away but she couldn’t, Isaac on her lap before she lifted him and carried him into the living room for Christmas Eve presents. They settled in on the sofa, Isaac waking up a bit more and looking around.

Em wasn’t expecting anything. They’d welcomed her into their home, offered her somewhere to stay and it was more than she thought. But as stockings were handed out Joe offered one over to her.

“Everyone gets a stocking. We guessed on the pjs, apologies if they’re too big.” She smiled as she opened it, Isaac handed back to Michelle so Em could open it. Inside was new shorts pjs with red and black checkers, shampoo and conditioner, and a mixture of sweets. There was also a new notebook and a smooth writing pen. She couldn’t believe it. It was presents chosen specifically for her. The tiny little gold E in the bottom right corner of the notebook cover proved that for her. It was the middle of summer, she was in Australia for Christmas, and there was a group of people together who genuinely liked each other and somehow liked her. It didn’t feel real.

As midnight hit it was hugs and congratulations, everyone heading towards their rooms as they were shooed away with the promise that Santa was on his way so everyone had to go to bed. For the first time in far too long she didn’t have to suppress a shudder as someone who wasn’t Dan hugged her, smiling at Grace and Joe and returning the hug. Michelle and her husband got a one armed one that she gave willingly. It felt magical. And it wasn’t weird that the biggest hug was from Dan. She wouldn’t kiss him in front of everyone, but once everyone was going to bed he followed her into the guest room she was staying in.

“Two hands or the hug doesn’t count, right?” Em asked as he pulled her into a hug. His head leaned against hers and Em pushed her head into the spot where his neck and shoulder met. Alone she was able to run her hands along his warm back, pulling him close as Dan nodded and squeezed her waist. “That’s my huggy boy.”

As he hugged she didn’t want to let go, holding onto him in the privacy. Dan pushed kisses to the top of her head and her shoulder as much as he could. Em was just glad to have him there. He made things easier for her. She’d come with him and been so nervous but it was easy with him. Terrifying, but easy. She looked up at him and saw the smile, reaching up on her toes to kiss him.

The smile on Dan’s face as he realised what was going on and what she was doing would sustain Em forever. He was contagiously happy as they kissed, and Em was so close to telling him everything. But for the first time in years she was going to have a good Christmas and she couldn’t say no. She couldn’t ruin that on herself. So she held onto him as he kissed the top of her head and pretended everything was fine. She could do it.

“You need to go back,” Em whispered, afraid of breaking the spell between them.

“Can I stay here?”

“You need to go. What if your parents find out?”

“It’ll be fine. I’ll go back to my room early in the morning. Please?” She couldn’t resist him and he knew that.

“Fine.” It was one more kiss before she went to get her pjs on. They were curled up in bed and Em heard him barely whisper.

“Merry Christmas, Emmy.”

“Merry Christmas, Dimples. Thanks for inviting me tonight,” she murmured before pushing a kiss to his shoulder and cuddling in to sleep.

“Any time, Wrinkles. It’s gonna be the first of many.”

-

Taglist

@dr3lover @sabrinaselina55 @majx00 @tall-tanned-tattoo @lovingdennishauger @lauehr @msolbesg @f1medlife @idkwtfimdoing2 @leclercsbae @hiphopdancer101universe @mehrmonga @lewispool @saintandrea-droidsmuggler @coldheartedmar @sugarbabygirlofdaddy @nonsensical-nonce @a-distantdreamer @tita010 @leslizzleuribe @javden @mloyer @saintandrea-droidsmuggler @magical-imagination-kgp @danarysstormborn @kakorrhaphiphobia @g-l-o-b-e-w-h-o-r-e @elizanav @neiich @luckyladycreator2 @scotlynaurora @belledawnidk

#daniel ricciardo x reader #call it what you want fic #daniel ricciardo imagine #f1 imagine #formula 1 imagine #formula one imagine #formula one fanfic #daniel ricciardo oneshot #f1 oneshot #formula 1 oneshot #daniel ricciardo x oc #daniel riccardo fanfic #daniel ricciardo fic #daniel ricciardo fanfic #formula one oneshot #formula 1 fic #formula one fic #formula one fan fiction #formula one fanfiction #formula 1 fanfic #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #ciwyw writing

[stevethehairington]

Steve sits in his car, parked outside of the Hawkins High theater room as he waits for his begrudgingly favorite group of gremlins to come spilling out of the building and pile into his backseat (and argue about the front seat too) so he can drive them home after their Dorks & Doofuses, or whatever it's called, club.

It, technically, ends at six, but it usually takes them a while to pack up all their shit (and who knew a nerd game could have more equipment than most sports?). Plus they love to linger after to try and weasel hints about future sessions out of their Nerd King or whatever he's called and start strategizing for next time. Steve always tells them not to dawdle, they've got curfews and he's got parents to keep happy, but they never listen.

He glances down at his watch right as the little hands ticks past the three. Any minute now. At least that's what he hopes, anyways.

ABBA's playing through the tape deck, and Steve absentmindedly taps along as the opening bars of Gimme Gimme Gimme fill the car. He hums the tune through the first verse and turns it up just as it starts to gear up for the chorus.

And then, as if on cue, right as that chorus hits, right as Agnetha and Anni-Frid start to ask for their man after midnight, the doors of the theater room go flying open.

And out walks — nay, saunters — the prettiest boy that Steve has ever laid eyes on. Dressed in a tantalizing mix of leather and denim, he's got his head thrown back in a bright, beautiful laugh (loud enough to hear even over the music, and jesus, it sounds even better than the song), his long, wild curls fanning out around his face and shoulders, and the most gorgeous, easy smile pulling at his mouth and baring all of his teeth.

There's not a soul out there, ABBA sings, no one to hear my prayer.

But boy oh boy are they wrong. Steve didn't send out any prayers, but there sure as shit is a soul out there. Traipsing through the Hawkins High parking lot like he owns the place, throwing his arms and hands around in erratic, enthusiastic gestures, walking backwards towards a beat up old van in the back.

And Steve can't look away.

It's almost embarrassing how caught up he gets in staring at this boy, because he doesn't even register the kids trailing out behind him, or how they've finally made it to his car until the doors are wrenched open none too carefully and their raucous bickering bursts through the bubble.

Dustin slides into the front seat and slams the door behind him, and Steve's attention is momentarily stolen from the pretty boy as he slips into the familiar song and dance that is chastising Dustin for his lack of respect for Steve's things and volleying back at the snarky remarks he gets in return.

"Later dweebs!" Interrupts a smooth, lilting voice from outside and every pair of eyes in the car (including Steve's, especially Steve's) snap towards the source. The pretty boy stands in the open door of his van with a broad smirk and a hand stuck up in a sedentary wave.

The kids all chorus their goodbyes and wave back, and Steve — ingloriously, embarrassingly, mortifyingly — gives a wave of his own.

The pretty boy notices, because of course he does, and his grin sharpens. He adds an extra flutter of his fingertips as he meets Steve's eyes directly.

Steve flushes all the way up to his roots and immediately tears his gaze away, drops his hand to the wheel, and clears his throat. "Alright," he says, sounding a bit pinched. "Buckle up shitheads," he adds and hopes that none of the excruciatingly nosy children in his car noticed any of that.

He doesn't even know how to begin explaining any of that to the kids. He doesn't even know how to being explaining any of this to himself.

Steve waits for the sound of three distinct clicks, then shifts the car into drive and eases off of the break. As he heads towards the parking lot exit, Steve spares one last fleeting glance to the pretty boy getting smaller and smaller in his rear view mirror.

Gimme gimme gimme a man after midnight, take me through the darkness to the break of the day.

The song — which Steve is absolutely going to have stuck in his head for days now, just like a certain boy that will absolutely be stuck in his head for days (and weeks, and months, and—) — fades to it's end, but this? This is only just the beginning.

This is the beginning of Steve Harrington's big huge crush on one Eddie Munson.

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #mack writes #listen one day i had the VERY DISTINCT image of eddie getting a Hot Girl Entrance to gimme gimme gimme by abba #while steve watches on and has his WHOLE ENTIRE BRAIN REWIRED AS A RESULT #and i just had to give it to him i just HAD to #call this Moments Before Big Bisexual Disaster™️ #macks ficlets

[daisynik7]

Give You Blue

Chapter 6: Gravity

Set me free, leave me be, I don’t want to fall another moment into your gravity. 

Pairing: Eren x f!reader, Reiner x f!reader (past relationship)

Rating: Explicit (for mature content)

cw: switching POVs (reader is in 2nd person, Eren is in 3rd), underaged drinking, language, suggestive dialogue, kissing, angst

Word Count: ~5.0k

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Give You Blue Masterlist | ao3 | Give You Blue Taglist

Summary: You attend a party with Annie, only to run into Reiner unexpectedly. Mistakes are made and once again, Eren is to your rescue, this time more than ever before. Author’s Notes: Thank you for your patience with this! Sorry this took a while to get out. What do we think of this chapter? Juicy? Messy? Let me know! Likes, reblogs, and/or comments are always appreciated, thanks so much for supporting this slow burn of a story. I promise, next chapter is (finally) spicy! Enjoy! 

You’re already dreading tonight as you walk beside Annie towards an off-campus party house. Your roommate managed to coax you into going out tonight, the first time all semester. You were reluctant at first, unsure if you’re truly in the mood for booze and mingling. Then they told you it’s a party for Armin’s birthday, which piqued your interest. That’s because you’re certain that Eren, Armin’s best bud and your special friend, is going to be there.

He came to your door in tears about two weeks ago after telling his parents about changing his major. Obviously, it didn’t end well. Since then, his father hasn’t reached out to him. His mother said that he, “Needs time to come around.” How cruel can a parent be, to discount their child’s emotions all to live out some legacy they think is worth pursuing? And for what? Money and notoriety? 

You held him in your arms that night, only letting go when Annie returned to the room, making all types of snide remarks. Eventually, the two of you retreated into his room, where you ate leftover pasta while Eren recounted exactly what happened. You stayed with him until he fell asleep on his bed, watching him from the desk as his eyelids fluttered into a peaceful slumber, one that was well-needed and deserved after the emotional night he experienced.

The fallout has him freaked out, naturally. He’s put a pause on his plans, even reconsidering the whole thing. While he knows in his heart that it’s the best option for him, he can’t escape the never-ending need to please his father. For now, he’s prioritizing his upcoming exams and projects to get himself through the semester, one day at a time. Baby steps, you tell him. Baby steps.

As the two of you approach the door, the bass of loud music already reverberating through the exterior, Annie turns the handle, entering the house. It’s already packed with other students, a few you recognize, most of whom you don’t. As you make your way through the crowd, Annie stands on her tiptoes to see if she can spot the birthday boy. “He’s in the kitchen,” she announces, leading you into the next room. 

Armin stands against the counter beside a girl with black hair, sipping on their drinks. You walk up to them, Armin exclaiming, “Annie! You made it!” He launches forward, wrapping her in a snug embrace. Her cheeks flush from the unexpected affection. 

You wave at his friend, introducing yourself. She eyes you curiously, returning your greeting. “I’m Mikasa. I recognize your name. Do you know my brother, Eren Jaeger?”

“Yes, I do. He’s my RA, actually.”

She smirks. “I see. He told me about you.”

“Me?” you ask, caught off guard.

“Yeah. Says you’re a really good friend. He’s been keeping you hidden like some sort of treasure, so it’s nice to finally meet you.”

Before you can respond, Eren’s voice rings out, “Mikasa! What are you doing?!” He’s at the other side of the room, hastily pushing his way through the party goers. When he arrives, he nudges her. “Don’t embarrass me in front of my favorite resident.”

“You’re the one who’s embarrassing yourself! We were only talking..”

He looks at you, laughing. “I hope my sister wasn’t harassing you.”

You smile at him, flustered by him calling you his favorite resident. “She’s not.”

She pokes her elbow into his ribs playfully. “See? I’m being good. Now, if you really want to know, I’ve got almost fifteen years of dirt on him.”

With a brow raised, you reply, “Oh, I’m all ears.”

“There’s no way I’m letting this happen unsupervised,” Eren teases, moving to stand next to you, his arm pressed to yours.

They share stories about their childhood, including how the two of them met Armin on the school playground, saving him from bullies. You enjoy this glimpse into Eren’s life; it makes you feel closer to him. A few times during the conversation, his hand slides over yours for emphasis as he elaborates on a tale. It sets your skin ablaze, alarming and exhilarating all at once. Annie hands you a drink that you don’t bother consuming it, too enthralled by Eren’s overwhelming presence. You almost want to pull him into a private room and keep him all to yourself. 

It switches in a flash when you hear the familiar voice and that dreadful nickname. “Coco?” Reiner stands by the fridge, staring at you with a bottle of beer in his hand. “What are you doing here?”

How reckless of you to forget that Reiner and Armin are in the same fraternity. Of course he’s here. They’re brothers. All the elation you felt up until this point sinks into the floor, along with your feet heavy on the tiles, unable to move. You despise how helpless you are around him, body shutting down or reacting in ways beyond your control. He’s got a firm grip on you without physically touching you. 

Eren clears his throat, readjusting his posture to stand straight. “It’s a party. So she’s here to party.”

Reiner glares at him. “Who are you?”

“I’m her friend.”

“I thought you were her RA.”

“Sounds like you remember me then,” Eren replies, smirking. 

There’s tightness in your chest as you hold your breath, anticipating his next move. Sensing your panic, Eren brushes his hand across yours, squeezing. This doesn’t go unnoticed. Reiner lunges forward, shouting, “Hey, hey! Don’t touch her!” He grabs you by the arm, pulling you towards him and away from Eren.

Mikasa grasps your other side, tugging you back. “Reiner, what the fuck?”

The commotion has gotten the attention of the rest of the room, hushing their own conversations to check out what’s going on. Reiner pleads, “Coco, we have to talk. Let’s go somewhere private.”

Still speechless, you try to keep your feet planted to the floor, unwilling to follow. Your knees give in as he drags you with him. Another hand holds you; it’s Eren, who’s staring at Reiner with an expression you’ve never seen before on his otherwise happy-go-lucky face. “You’re hurting her. Let her go.“

“Stay out of our fucking business,” he growls, fingers digging deep into your flesh. 

You do your best to yank yourself from his clutches. “Reiner, that hurts.”

As soon as you say it, he lets go, apologizing. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Mikasa shoves him, separating you farther. “What is your problem?”

Bertolt appears, towering over everyone, standing behind his friend. “Hey, let’s go get some air or something.”

Reiner ignores him. “Coco, please. I just want to talk,” he begs. 

Annie huddles beside you, immediately in fight mode. “What the fuck are you doing?”

Everything is moving in a blur. The only thing clear to you is Eren’s soothing voice in your ear, his lips grazing your skin. “Hey, you’re okay. It’s going to be okay.” 

And you believe it, too. You don’t want to leave his side, but as the tension continues to escalate, the only solution is out. You grab your drink and rush out of the kitchen, maneuvering past prying eyes and nosy whispers. Thankfully, the music is still playing, and by the time you’re up the stairs, locked inside a bathroom, the typical party commotion resumes.

Your phone rings in your pocket; you ignore it, switching it to silent without checking who’s calling. Inspecting your reflection in the mirror, eyes swelling with tears already, you can’t help laughing at yourself, alone in this random bathroom, crying once again over Reiner. It’s ridiculous. You’re so mad at him for ruining your night, for letting him ruin your night. All you could do was stand there, helpless. And when it became too much, you ran away instead of facing it head on. It’s so typical of you to act this way. That’s why he hasn’t left you alone yet. You’re too afraid to deal with it once and for all. Too scared of cutting that string that connects the two of you since you were five years old, the one holding together all your precious memories of a life before all this. At this rate, you’ll never move on, coiled by it until it you’re too tied up to break free. 

Sitting on the closed toilet seat, you wipe your tears, noticing the drink you carried in here with you. Without giving it a second thought, you chug it, deciding that tonight, you’re going to resort to alcohol as temporary relief. It’s sickly-sweet sliding down your throat, the liquor hardly noticeable in whatever concoction some frat boy brewed. However, it’s there, and you crave more of it, desperate for an escape.  

~~~

Eren doesn’t chase after her. And it’s not because he doesn’t want to; if it were his choice, he’d be right beside her, consoling her, holding her. Before he does, Mikasa grabs him. “Give her space. She needs space.”

He opens his mouth to protest, but doesn’t speak, knowing she’s right. The last thing he needs is to screw up their friendship by making dumb, rash decisions like this. He isn’t supposed to be involved; it’s an issue between her and her ex, something he shouldn’t get in the middle of. It’d be easy to avoid if they were just friends, if Eren didn’t have any stake in this. That’s the problem, though: Eren has fallen for her. And hard.  

It’s only now that he realizes Reiner is still being restrained by Armin and Annie, struggling to surpass the two bodies to get to him. “I just want to talk; I’m not going to hit him!”

Eren steps towards them, not intimidated, feeling bold. “You’re hurting her.” The words tumble out of his mouth easily, as if he’s been itching to let it out. 

Reiner’s eyes narrow, upset. “Excuse me?”

Eren mentions her name, repeating, “You’re hurting her.”

Annie and Armin glance nervously between the two, maintaining a firm grip on Reiner. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“If you really love her, you’d let her go.” 

“Eren,” Mikasa warns him, tugging at his sleeve. So much for not getting involved. He’s aware of the line he’s crossing, though he can’t help himself. Not when he’s picturing her, crying in the corner of a room because this asshole won’t leave her alone. Of course he’s going to try and protect her. 

Reiner glares at him. “What’s your deal?” 

Eren struggles to answer. After all, who is he in all of this? The random RA who lives down the hall? A concerned friend? Above all, he’s someone who cares for her immensely. Isn’t that enough of an excuse to intervene? 

When he doesn’t respond, Reiner continues. “You have no idea what our relationship is like. We’ve known each other since we were – “

“Five, yeah, I’ve heard the story,” Eren interrupts. “Maybe it’s time for you to grow up.” 

This elicits another aggressive response from Reiner, to which Bertolt joins in on restraining him. 

Armin, in a commanding voice, demands, “That’s enough. Calm down, okay?!”

“I’m not gonna to let him talk to me like that!” Reiner argues, reaching is arms out towards Eren, who remains nonchalant. This guy doesn’t scare him, not one bit. Reiner is a selfish coward; greedy for more, afraid to lose what he has. She’s a safety net to fall on. The back burner for when he needs warmth he can’t find anywhere else. It isn’t fair to her, being the last resort. She should be loved always, not only when it’s convenient. 

Mikasa sidles up to him, whispering, “We should go before he really explodes.”

He runs his fingers through his hair, sighing. “I’ll leave. Just…keep an eye on her for me. Make sure she’s okay.”

Annie gives him a sympathetic look. “I’m sorry, Eren. I’ll tell her to call you,” she says, using her strength to stave off Reiner, who’s red in the face.

He nods. “You don’t have to tell her anything. If she wants me, she’ll find me.”

Reiner threatens, “I don’t know what you’re trying to do with Coco, but I’m warning you. Stay away from her.”

“If you really cared about her, you’d stay away from her too.” Eren pivots on his heel to leave. Back turned, exiting the kitchen, he adds, “By the way, she hates that nickname.” He smirks to himself, listening to Reiner curse at him on his way out the door. 

~~~

With your cup empty, cheeks warm with a gradual buzz, you finally leave the bathroom to find more liquor. When you reappear in the kitchen, Reiner and Bertolt are gone, thankfully. Annie spots you, relieved. “Are you okay?”

You nod at her, giving her a timid smile. “Yeah. As long as Reiner is gone, I’m okay.”

She sighs, frustrated. “Unfortunately, he’s outside.”

Focused on the obnoxiously large Gatorade tub on the countertop, you shrug with your cup in hand. “Fine. Let’s hope I get drunk enough to pretend he isn’t here.” You dispense the reddish liquid till your cup is filled to the brim, carefully tipping it into your mouth. Annie watches, concerned and impressed, as you continue to gulp it down until it’s empty. “Whoa. Easy there, you don’t want to get too fucked up, right?”

Already tapping more into your cup, head starting to get hazy with a buzz, you respond, “Actually, that’s exactlywhat I want to do right now.” You finish it, Annie monitoring you nervously, not saying anything.

Soon, the two of you join Mikasa and Armin in the living room, which has been converted into a temporary dancefloor. You’re smooshed by bodies and engulfed in heat, the intense bass from the speakers drowning out whatever thoughts remain in your mind. This is exactly what you needed, to be lost in something, having fun without worrying about anything other than yourself. An escape. 

As luck would have it, this only lasts for a few minutes. From your peripheral, you catch Reiner making his way to you, Bertolt trailing behind. “Coco!” he shouts over the crowd. 

Annie glares at him, shielding you. “Fuck off.”

“I only want to talk. Please.” 

It’s only now that you can properly study his complexion. Dark shadows under his eyes, facial hair unkempt as if he hasn’t properly groomed it. There is some pity, seeing the boy you grew up with and loved with all your heart look like a shell of himself. More than anything, though, you’re fed up. Liquid courage surging through you, you decide that tonight, you’re going to end this exhausting game he’s playing once and for all. The long-winded back-and-forth you’ve had to endure this past semester. You won’t allow him to ruin you, destroy the both of you. Not anymore. 

“It’s okay,” you tell your friends, stepping around them towards Reiner. “I’ll deal with this.”

Annie utters your name, loose grip on your wrist, a last-ditch effort to stop you. You pass her a confident grin, patting her hand. “It’s okay. I’ll be okay.” 

Standing tall, you face him. “You want to talk? Fine, let’s talk.”

You lead the way upstairs, past the bathroom you were previously hiding in and into the nearest unoccupied bedroom, shutting the door. Once you switch the lights on, you’re suddenly extremely aware that you and Reiner are alone, enclosed in this small space for the first time since that day you said goodbye. There’s a sense of déjà vu, filling you with an uneasiness you can’t quite explain. You’re teetering on the edge, a risk of falling at any moment.

“Coco,” he starts. 

Before he can continue, you interrupt him. “Reiner, you can’t keep ambushing me like this. It’s not fair to me. I’m trying my best to move on, I can’t do that if you’re always pestering me!”

“I know, I know. But – ”

“I already told you why we can’t be friends, so stop trying.”

“Please listen to –”

“I’m finally getting used to not having you around anymore, so just leave me alone –”

“I want to get back together.”

You stare at him, stunned, slowly processing what he said. 

“Coco, I want to be with you. I want it to be us again. I was a fucking idiot for breaking up in the first place.”

Still, you’re speechless, astounded by the words coming out of his mouth. It doesn’t help that the alcohol in your system is taking its effect, head dizzy and balance wobbly. 

Reiner reaches for your hand, holding it in his. His thumb brushes across your knuckles, the way it used to all those times in the past. “I’m a fucking mess without you. I can’t sleep, I can’t think. Every day I miss you. I don’t want this anymore. I want you.”

You finally find the will to speak, voice trembling. “You can’t take back what happened.”

“Why not? This semester has been the worst without you. Why can’t we forget about what happened and go back to the way it was?”

“I don’t think I can do that.” 

His hands cup your cheeks, forehead pressed to yours. And while your mind is screaming at you to stay strong, to push him away, your body stays still, melting into his touch. “Coco, I love you. I’ll always love you. I realize that now. I’m sorry it took all of this to realize it. I’m sure of it now. Please, baby. I need you.” 

Your confidence is dwindling. You came into this room, intending to end it. Now, you find yourself wavering under his words. The words you so badly wanted to hear ever since he broke up with you. It’s your weakness: to be needed, to be wanted. It’d be easy to forget, to go back to the way it used to be. Wouldn’t it? 

It will never be the same. You can’t forget what he did, no matter how badly you want to block it out of your memory. That paranoia will always be present. He’s already broken your heart once, what makes you think he don’t do it again? How can you trust someone who so easily crushed you without a fair warning? Who toys with your fragility because of his own selfish desires? 

“Reiner, I don’t know,” you whimper, tears filling your eyes, overwhelmed with emotions. 

“We’ll figure it out together. You and me. Like old times.” The past. Carefree and in love, in your own little world, just the two of you. Sheltered from the unknown, reliant only on each other. Were you happy in this life? Or did you only convince yourself that you were?

“It’s you and me, Coco. Forever.” He inches forward, lips almost touching. You can smell the harsh aroma of alcohol on his breath, pungent and bitter. When you don’t pull away, he closes the gap, kissing you. His tongue slips inside your mouth, desperate for a taste, and you welcome it, starved for affection after being deprived of it all semester. The once familiar facial hair is foreign on your skin; it’s like he’s a completely different person now, a stranger. And maybe that’s why it makes it easier to kiss him, to imagine him as someone different than the same Reiner you once knew, the one who broke your heart. He’s different this time. He has to be. 

What if he’s not?

Suddenly, your body reacts, hands to his chest, shoving him away. “No,” you state, recoiling from him. “No, I can’t do this.”

Grip on your hips, he tugs you in again, scattering kisses along your neck. “It’s okay. It’s going to be okay, baby.”

You force him off once more, with more aggression, surprising him. “Stop, Reiner. It’s not okay. I can’t do this. I don’t want to do this. We have to move on. It’s over.”

He grasps you by the shoulders, pleading with you. “I don’t want to move on, Coco. I want us to go back to the way it was, like when we were kids.”

“That’s the problem. We’re not kids anymore! We have to grow up.” Your voice trembles, hands shaking with anguish. You’re saying it as a cruel reminder for the both of you.

“Baby, please,” he begs, surrounding you in a scorching embrace. You can’t breathe, the air too dense in his presence, suffocating you. “I need you. I need you.” He kisses you again, fingers gliding beneath your shirt and along your skin, pulling you to the bed. You succumb to it, the past flashing in your memory like a movie playing in fast forward. Your first kiss, clumsy and awkward because you were only kiddos who had no idea what you were doing. The first time you made love, crossing that line from best friends to lovers, also clumsy and awkward, but it was yours. All the moments when the two of you were in sync with each other, strolling through life glued to the hip. The breakup doesn’t erase the precious memories the two of you share; it’s shown you that maybe this relationship has run its course. Because now, it’s nothing like it used to be. You’d be fooling yourself thinking it can ever go back to the way it was. 

Before you go any further, you break apart from him, tears streaming down your cheeks as you stumble to the door, gasping for breath. “I’m sorry, Reiner. We can’t. We can’t do this.” When you open it, the cacophony of party sounds filling you with relief, as if you’ve returned to steady ground, away from whatever orbit he’s attempting to suck you into. You won’t let yourself revolve around him any longer. 

You ignore his voice calling for you as you sprint down the stairs, rushing through the crowd, not bothering to check in with Annie in the living room. You can’t face her, not now. Not after you betrayed yourself by kissing your ex. Shame envelopes you as you speed walk your way across campus, heading to your dorm. Halfway on your trek, you send Annie a quick text, explaining that you left the party and that you’re fine, although it’s not entirely truthful. As you swipe your ID at the door, your feet automatically lead you to your safe space.

~~~

Eren lays in bed, gazing up at the ceiling, contemplating. It’s been a while since he left the party, annoyed from his confrontation with Reiner, more so worried about her and how she’s doing. He can’t sleep without knowing whether she’s okay or not. 

Phone in hand, he sends Mikasa a quick message, asking for a status update. His sister’s reply has him immediately sitting up, frantic:

Mikasa: She’s talking to Reiner

He hops out of bed, pacing around his room. Talking to him? What could that mean? He attempts to call Mikasa, the suspense eating away at him. When she picks up, he can barely hear her, the background noise of the party too loud. “Mikasa, what’s going on?”

“Don’t worry,” she yells on the other end of the line. “I think she’s trying to end it. She told us she’s dealing with it.”

“I told you to keep an eye on her.”

“I’m not going to stand there in the middle of a private conversation! She’s a big girl, she can handle this.”

He sighs, frustrated. “I know, I just –”

“Eren, you can’t keep protecting her. She’s got to deal with this on her own.”

He doesn’t answer. She’s right; it’s not his battle to fight, no matter how much he wants to. 

“Oh shit,” Mikasa curses. He can hear Annie and Armin’s voice murmuring, though he can’t make out what exactly they’re saying.

“Mikasa, what’s going on?!” 

“She texted Annie a few minutes. She said she’s fine, but she left. We don’t know where she is.”

He panics, squeezing the phone between his ear and shoulder, slipping into a jacket, scrambling for his keys. “Okay, I’m going to look for her. Stay there in case she comes back.”

“Eren, I’m sure she’s going to the dorms! Don’t freak out!”

“Well, I’m going to look for her anyways! Please, Mikasa. Do this for me – ”

There’s a knock on his door. Eren sets his keys down, heart racing. “I gotta go,” he quickly mutters into the phone, hanging up. He approaches the door, unlocking and turning the handle slowly. 

“Eren?”

She stands in front of him, eyes puffy, biting her lip as if to suppress her crying. He pulls her into a hug, surrounding her in his arms. She relaxes into him, nestling her face into his chest, sniffling. “Hey, you’re okay. You’re okay,” he chants.

In between sobs, she cries, “I’m not. I fucked up, Eren. I really fucked up.”

“Hey, I’m sure it’s not that bad,” he reassures her. 

“We kissed. Reiner and I kissed.” 

Dread settles in the pit of his stomach as he listens in silence, anticipating what else she will reveal to him. 

“We were touching and we almost, I almost…But we didn’t. I stopped it.” She swallows hard, collecting herself before continuing. “I’m so ashamed of myself. I spent the past three months trying to get over him, and I tossed it all aside for one stupid kiss. I’m weak. I’m weak.”

“Hey, hey, hey,” he consoles, rubbing her back. “You’re not weak.”

“I am, though. I’m so fucking desperate to be held, to be touched. Tonight exposed it. I can’t do that again. I just can’t.”

He’s not proud of what he suggests next. Maybe it’s jealousy that makes Eren propose what he’s about to. He justifies it as a friend helping out another friend. It’s a mistake. Not because he’ll hurt her; in the end, it’ll hurt him. He lets his selfish desires overtake the usual logical thinking in his brain. All he can focus on is this, right here, right now. This might be their only chance, his only chance. “How about me?”

“What?”

“Use me. I want to help you.” This is a bad idea, a very bad idea. As soon as he crosses this line, there’s no turning around. He’s all in. It’s the point of no return, and with as much risk as there is in it, there’s no question in his mind that it’s worth it. To have her like this, even for a fleeting moment, is better than not having her at all. 

“Eren,” she whispers, peering up at him.

“Rely on me,” he says with a small smile, caressing her cheeks, wiping away her tears. 

“Eren,” she repeats, closing her eyes. “I don’t want this to change anything between us. I’m scared I’m going to mess this up again.”

He leans down, pressing his forehead to hers. “I’m always going to care about you, no matter what. I promise. Don’t worry about me.”

They need this, a temporary escape. Him and her, no one else. Cherishing one another, loving each other the way they deserve. It doesn’t matter what the past is or what the future holds. He wants to be lost in this moment with her. She opens her eyes, gazing at him. He bows down, lips close to hers, pausing to wait for her. She kisses him softly, electrifying every nerve in his body. 

it’s over too soon; she pulls away, distancing herself. “Eren, I can’t do this to you. I’m all fucked up in the head right now and still a little drunk. You don’t deserve this. I’m so sorry.” Without another glance, she leaves, her hasty footsteps pattering down the hall, Eren listening until he hears her shut the door to her bedroom. 

He traces his mouth with his fingers, her essence lingering on his lips. He stands in place for a few more minutes, waiting and hoping for her return. When it doesn’t come, he goes to bed, staring up at the ceiling, unable to sleep. 

~~~

You fucked it all up, with Reiner, with Eren. As always, you ran away, unable to stand up for yourself, to face the truth. 

With Reiner, you crumbled, allowing him to enrapture you with empty promises and longing for the past. He almost convinced you that everything can go back to normal, which you know it can’t. And with Eren, you pushed him away, too scared to repeat the same mistakes despite your heart yearning for him more and more each day. 

His offer to you sticks in your mind as you lay in bed, focused on the ceiling, intoxication completely worn off after a hot shower and much-needed hydration. Rely on me. Use me. It wasn’t fair to take advantage of him while you were in such a fragile state, drunk and in tears after your confrontation with Reiner. Hours later, with a clearer head, you can’t stop thinking about him. I’m always going to care about you, no matter what. It’s the only promise of the night that you actual believe. 

You check your phone for the time: 4:17 AM. Glancing to your side, Annie sleeps peacefully in her bed, having arrived a few hours earlier. You explained to her vaguely what happened, leaving out the details about both kisses, not ready to deal with her blunt reactions. As quietly as you can, you slide into your slippers, sneaking out of the room. Halfway down the hall, you second-guess yourself, almost turning on your heel to go back. However,  Eren’s soothing voice replaying in your head entices you. One moment of unadulterated bliss together wouldn’t be so bad, right? 

Before you change your mind, you knock quietly on his door, nervous and excited. It doesn’t take long for him to answer. He stands before you, wide awake, a comforting smile upon seeing you. And while this whole night was a blurry, fucked up mess, this is the most certain you’ve been. Even if it is for a short while, a temporary escape from the unkind realities the both of you have to eventually face, it’s clear as day: You want to be with him, and he wants to be with you. 

“So,” you say, stepping towards him. “Does your offer still stand?”

His smile widens, reaching his arm past you to shut the door. “Absolutely.” 

Taglist:

@batafuraikisu @bloompompom @monirei @filunara @katestrophes @ichinosejager13 @hoperenae @zellskz @e-ayyy @liliorsstuff-blog @maliakealoha @holdmeclosebutdontloveme @chrollohearttags @sailorputa @squickkk @dnyllmh @hellomeow12 @s-cream-ing @potofstewie @conniesbbymama @erzascarlett28 @lem-hhn @roronoazorosbxtchh @ichigostrawberry15 @rhaelrence @lilshades @bigmoodyjoody @icansmellsouls @aangsupremacy @ashsauroras @bakuhoes-bxtch @mrs-wolfwood @si-kamo @jmtherula @imaddicted-b @monkemanjeager @neesiewrote @large-juice @chiinni @belovedackerman

#eren jaeger #reiner braun #eren x you #eren x reader #eren x y/n #eren x f!reader #reiner x you #reiner x y/n #reiner x reader #reiner x f!reader #aot fanfiction #aot fanfic #aot x reader #give you blue #eren fluff #attack on titan fluff #give you blue series #eren smut #reiner smut #attack on titan smut

[sixpie]

+ CUP PROTECTION SQUAD ; ft. eren , armin , jean , & connie .

+ synopsis ; how do the aot boys protect ya cup at the club?

+ cw ; mentions of blood & violence .

you were knee deep into your much-deserved friday night out. alongside you gang of closest friends, you partied hard and drank harder. refilling your solo cup for the umpteenth time in the last hour, you groaned at that familiar feeling tugging at your bladder: you had to pee. peeling away from your girls on the crowded dance floor, you squeeze through sweaty bodies until you run into (eren/armin/jean/connie). with a breath of relief, you push your cup into his hard chest, voice laced with desperation as you beg, “i gotta piss so bad! could you keep an eye on my cup for me?”

# EREN JAEGER .

“whatever,” eren yells over the music, watching as you disappear back into the crowd.

acts all nonchalant, but in reality, he takes this little mundane task almost too serious.

eren’ll just stand in that exact spot, arms crossed, cup in hand, wearing the meanest expression. he knows he’s intimidating, and uses it as an advantage to ward off any creeps.

let’s say a situation does arise where someone comes up to him, trying to tamper with your drink. oh boy, eren’s irrational ass would toss the cup aside, uncaring if it spills, and dragging the fucker outside in the alley to scrap.

don’t worry, he’d buy you another vodka spritz or ‘whatever girly shit you drink.’

overall cup-holding rating: D-

you can’t find eren when you return from the bathroom. chocking it up to him being a flaky prick, you shrug his absence off and meet back up with mikasa and sasha on the dance floor.

it isn’t until an hour later that you feel a tap on your shoulder. you smile, assuming it’s annie or hitch, but that smile plummets the moment your eyes land on eren. he’s sporting a busted lip, and there’s a gash over his thick eyebrow that’s gushing a bloody river down the side of his sharp face. you open your mouth to say something, anything, but you were cut off by eren shoving a cup into your personal space.

“i spilt your drink,” eren explains, as if he’s not all bruised and bloody. “hope you like vodka.”

# ARMIN ARLERT .

“oh my goodness, of course i can,” armin says sweetly, flashing a gentle smile at you. “i’ll be waiting right here for you, ‘kay?”

is happy to help you however he can, even if it’s doing something as simple as watching over your drink.

armin will hold a hand over the rim of your solo cup, mindlessly swaying to the beat of whatever song is playing in the club as he patiently waits for your arrival.

if somebody does happen to approach him, asking to mess with your drink, armin won’t hesitate to drop his angel persona and get a little snippy.

“do you know how creepy you look asking to see another person’s drink like that? you’ve got about ten seconds to get lost before i call my buddies and have them handle you.”

armin would teach the perv a lesson himself, but he’d rather not leave the spot he told you to meet him at. sicking eren, jean, and connie on the gross bastard was the next best option.

the threat always works like a charm, and armin is able to protect your cup with spilling a drop.

overall cup-holding rating: A+

“oh, ‘min,” you sighed. the man had been glued in the same position you’d left him in, accompanied by a soft smile. “thank you so, so much. sorry to be such a burden.”

“nonsense,” armin shrugged off your worries, all the while trying to shake off the tiny blush that had seeped through his cheeks at your clumsiness. “you could never be a burden, not in a million years. i’m glad you came to me, y/n.”

he passed your beverage back to you, and all you could do was blink up at him, stunned by his unadulterated kindness. though, that was armin for you: always the selfless type, his generosity shouldn’t be surprise. “really?”

“really,” the blonde affirmed, scratching the back of his neck as he peered wearily out into the sea of strangers, mingling and dancing. “who knows what kind of creeps are here tonight. it’s just… i’m happy that you trust me to keep you safe. that’s all.”

# JEAN KIRSTEIN .

“me?” jean asks, baffled, before sputtering out a few more words, “i mean, sure. yeah, no-no problem at all, y/n.”

HE’S SO DRAMATIC, a literal nervous wreck for no reason. poor baby is just a 6’4 ball of raging anxiety 24/7 ):

is sweating bullets in the club, tuning out all other noises or people or anything that could possibly serve as a distraction.

jean’s clutching the plastic cup to his chest, like a mother holding her newborn. he places the rim beneath his jaw, using it as a makeshift cover.

it’s unlikely that anyone approaches jean in pursuit of your drink—his overwhelming height does wonders scaring off any potential creeps—but on the off chance someone does come up to jean, asking to take a peek at your cup, he’ll pull the good ole’ ‘girlfriend’ card out real quick.

“why do you wanna see my girlfriend’s drink?”

that mixed with a mean mug from jean is the perfect combination to get any dude to fuck off immediately.

overall cup-holding rating: B-

“gah, sorry i took so long,” you sweatdropped, hanging your head as you stood before jean. “the line for the bathroom was ridiculous.”

“don’t worry, ‘m always happy to help you,” jean smiled, quickly wiping away some of the sweat that had beaded along his brow with the back of his wrist. “your cup, madam.”

he presented the plastic cup to you rather formally, an action that had your eyes crinkling with a goofy laugh. “thank you, sir jean,” you played along, dropping a courtesy before accepting your drink.

jean flushed, maybe because of your laugh? or maybe because you matched his dorky energy so well? or maybe it’s just because you’re you. “anytime.”

# CONNIE SPRINGER .

“you know i gotchu mama,” connie smiled easily, grabbing the cup and swirling it around. “imma make this cup my biatch.”

connie is a certified idiot, but we all knew this.

he’d do so good for the first few minutes, waiting for you to return with your cup secured in both his large hands.

but one minute turns into five, which turns into ten, and the pink liquid dancing in your cup starts to look fucking delicious.

‘one sip wouldn’t hurt, right?’

but one sip turns into five, which turns into ten, and suddenly the delicious, pink liquid is now almost fully gone. it’s not his fault, dammit! he blames you for having the best taste in drinks.

nobody would even approach connie, no, they would all think it was his drink with the way he downed half the fucking cup.

overall cup-holding rating: F-

“you’re a life saver con’,” you cheer upon finally returning back to your friend. he looks slightly more tipsy than when you’d left, his eyelids low and his tongue pressed cheekily against his canines.

“what would you do without me?” connie asks, passing you back your cup.

“i don’t kn—” you paused, feeling the weight of the solo cup in your hands. with a suspicious glare, you queried, “connie, why is my cup so light?”

he just smiled, licking his lips before shrugging like the bastard he is.

#❔ー、☆. headcanons #eren x reader #eren jeager x reader #eren fluff #eren smut #eren x black fem!reader #eren headcanons #armin x reader #armin smut #aot smut #aot headcanons #jean smut #jean fluff #connie smut #connie fluff #armin headcanons

[ghostfacd]

EVEN AT THEIR WORST, THEY KNOW THEY’LL STILL BE OKAY — LUKE HUGHES

— “HE HATES IT WHEN SHE’S CRYING, HE HATES WHEN SHE’S AWAY.”

pairing; slytherin!luke x hufflepuff!fem!reader

summary; in which you’re the only one that can see right through luke’s exterior

genre; angst, fluff, hurt to comfort, blackcat!bf luke, golden retriever!gf reader, hogwarts!au

warnings; cursing, mentions of sex (hooking up), rude comments made towards luke and yn, underage drinking

PART 1 | ✸ SLYTHERIN!LUKE MASTERLIST

listen to this for a better reading experience!

To say you were a mess after the breakup was an understatement. Your friends felt like they were walking on eggshells, every little thing they say would somehow remind you of Luke, making you cry even harder as your face is buried into a tear stained pillow.

“You have to get up you know,” Kielle says as she throws Luke’s robe towards him, “cmon Luke, you’re one of my best friends, I can’t let you keep missing classes.”

Kielle Waterstone—or who Luke refers to as Kie and Ell. She was in the same year as you and Luke, and had been one of Luke’s closest friends besides Mark and his brother, Quinn. They were like brother and sister, always teasing each other out of love.

“Kie, please leave me alone,” Luke groans into his pillow.

“Hey, no!” Kielle takes one of Luke’s other pillows, hitting the boy repeatedly. “Get up now! I did not walk all the way to the boys dorm to have you quit on me again,”

Luke finally pops his head up from his pillow. His eyes were bloodshot, and his curls were sticking out all over the place.

“Oh Luke,” Kielle pulls the boy into her arms, making him let out a small cry. She was the only person he could be emotional with other than you. “I know it was a hard decision for you, I know it’s taking a toll on you, but you can’t keep missing classes. Your grades are gonna go down, and we have exams soon.”

“You’re right,” Luke sniffles, “I shouldn’t even be mopping, I made this decision. I chose this for myself.”

“It’s alright to make the right decisions and feel shit about making them,” Kielle pulls apart from the hug to cup Luke’s face into her hands, “hey, no more of the crying okay Hughes? You’re gonna be okay, you have me, Mark, and Quinn by your side. Slytherins have to stick with Slytherins, you know?”

“But was it the right decision?”

Luke frowns, thinking about your heartbroken face the night of the Yule Ball, the night where he had officially ended things. It had been two weeks, though it felt like years for him. He had been locked away in his dorm, wondering if you were suffering just as much as he was.

“Only time will tell Lu.” Kielle helps pull the boy up, fixing his bed. “Go brush your teeth and take a shower. I’ll tidy up your room for you.”

Luke nods, silently thanking Kielle for being there for him. She had helped him through the roughest of times during these 2 weeks, and he couldn’t be more grateful for her support. In some ways, Luke thinks they’re platonic soulmates.

Luke walks out of the bathroom after blow drying his hair. He finally feels alive after the cold shower, he swore he had died the night you two broke up.

“Great, now get dressed.” Kielle throws his green robe at him, “I’ll be in the dining hall getting breakfast, me and Mark will save you a seat.”

Luke nods, putting on his robe and fixing his tie.

“Oh, by the way,” Kielle gives him a small box, one that he recognizes far too quickly. “Uhm, YN wanted me to return this to you. I’m sorry Luke.”

It was the same box that he had given you for your 1 month anniversary. Inside was your promise ring, shiny with Luke + YN engraved into it.

He didn’t want to go back to class, especially Potions since you two shared that period. But he has to eventually, he knows. He can’t just stop prioritizing his grades because of some breakup. Even though the breakup quite literally felt like his world ended right in front of him.

He feels like he’s gonna throw up when he enters Potion. You’re there with Annie, your partner, as always. Your eyes look tired, dark eye bags had already formed under them.

He wanted to go hug you, tell you that everything is alright, but he can’t do any of those things. You weren’t his anymore, and he wasn’t yours.

“Mr. Hughes, it’s great to finally have you back in class.”

Luke nods, taking a seat next to Teddy Wellings, who shyly waves at him. Teddy doesn’t want to do anything to set off the boy, so he keeps silent throughout the entire class.

During his time in Potions, he had heard whispers across the room.

“Did you hear? Luke hasn’t been attending class because him and YN broke up,”

“Really? Huh, no wonder. I knew they weren’t gonna to last anyway,”

“I know right! I mean cmon, Slytherin and Hufflepuff? That relationship was doomed from the start,”

“Hey,” Mark says sternly at the people who were whispering about his best friend, “you better watch your mouths. None of you know what really happened so shut the fuck up,”

“Fine, geez.”

“Professor?” Luke raises his hands, making the entire class eye him, including you.

“Yes Mr. Hughes?”

“May I use the restroom?”

“Go ahead.”

Luke makes his way out of class quickly, finding the nearest boys bathroom. When he finds an empty stall, he finally loses it.

He throws up, eyes shutting in pain. He had never felt so gross up until now.

- -

“Luke,” Jack approaches him after all of their classes were done. “I know something that will cheer you up, there’s a party tonight in Ravenclaw.”

Luke’s eyes are blank as usual, not really taking in his older brother’s words. All he heard was party, tonight, and Ravenclaw.

Maybe Jack was right. Maybe a party was just what Luke needed to get over you. So as stupid as it sounds, he goes.

“Luke?” Mark takes a seat next to the boy, who was currently drinking out of his red solo cup. “Didn’t expect you to be here.”

“I gotta move on somehow, right?” He jokes, clearly drunk. “Where’s Kielle and Quinn?”

“Quinn’s in one of the dorms doing karaoke with some random Ravenclaws. He’s a weird drunk.”

That makes Luke let out a snort. Of course one of his brothers would be doing something stupid.

“And Kielle—oh! Hey Kielle!” Mark waves the girl excitedly over. “Hey Kiels.”

“Hi Marky,” Kielle makes herself comfortable between the two boys. “Hi Luke. Surprised to see you here.”

“That’s what I said!”

“But we’re happy you are,” Kielle smiles, “it’s good to see you not sad and gloomy you know? I’m glad you’re doing better now.”

“Yeah,” Luke lets out a small grin. He felt the alcohol in his system take over.

“Hey Kie?” He says before he can think.

“Yes Luke?”

She turns around to give him her full attention, and Luke can’t help but lean in, closing the gap between their lips.

“Holy shit!” Mark gasps. “My two best buddies getting at it?”

Luke doesn’t know that you were currently at the party, after your friends had practically begged you to let loose after the breakup.

You stop dead in your tracks when you see Luke and Kielle kissing, your heart automatically breaks more than it already had.

“What’s wrong YN?” Your friend asks as she tries to look where you’re staring. When she finally sets her eyes on the scene, her mouth drops. “Cmon YN, he isn’t worth it,”

She takes you in her arms, far away from Luke. Suddenly, all your emotions feel like they’re going to burst, and you cry right at the spot.

“I’m sorry,” your friend mumbles guiltily, “I didn’t know he would be here.”

“It’s fine,” you sob, “it’s fine.”

It wasn’t, clearly.

Luke finally pulls away from the kiss, his cheeks flushed deep red.

“Holy shit,” he mumbles, wiping his lips. “Sorry Kie, I don’t know what has gotten into me,”

“No worries,” she laughs, “just to be clear, this isn’t going to change our dynamic right?”

“No—of course not.” Luke sighs, “it was just the alcohol. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay Luke,” Kielle pats him on the back comfortingly, “don’t worry about it. I know you still have feelings for YN.”

He does. And he hates that he does.

- -

“Hey man, you’re gonna go to Quidditch practice today right?” Quinn asks the next day after school, placing his broom next to his side.

“Yeah,” Luke mumbles, “coach must be mad at me huh?”

“Sorta? We told him you came down with a flu. But he’ll be happy you’re back. Slytherin needs their star player after all.”

Luke finally smiles for the first time since the breakup. If the party wasn’t going to get his mind off you, maybe playing Quidditch will.

“Hope you’re not hungover, we have a game tonight so you need to practice as much as you can,” Mark says, showing up to Luke’s other side. “You ready Lukey?”

“Don’t call me that,” Luke rolls his eyes, “but yeah. Feels good to be back.. I guess.”

That night, Slytherin went against Gryffindor. Luke gulped nervously. He had always been so confident in Quidditch, never once flattering. But tonight was different; tonight, you wouldn’t be in the crowd, cheering him on as you always did. Tonight, Luke would feel the loss of your presence even more than he had before.

He still didn’t know you saw the kiss between him and Kielle. He had brushed off the kiss as absolutely nothing but alcohol in his system. He didn’t see Kielle like that, not romantically. He saw her as his best friend and sister. And Kielle saw him as her brother. They both had agreed to never speak of the kiss again.

“Alright guys, good luck!” Quinn says as the Slytherin teams huddle together, “Go Slytherin!”

“Go Slytherin!” All the teammates said, tapping their brooms together.

As soon as Luke was up in the air, his eyes focused on the snitch. It was quick, moving far away from his sight. He rushed after it, the Ravenclaw seeker right at his back.

“Hey, heard you broke up with your girl and then got with Kielle right after,” the Ravenclaw shouts from behind him. “Were they both good fucks, Luke?”

Luke’s jaw clenches. That asshole had some nerve to talk about you and his best friend that way.

“You don’t know shit,” Luke yells back, broom flying down to where the snitch was heading.

“Oh yeah? You gave us quite a show yesterday at the party. Did you see YN walk out crying? Think that was all your fault, mate.”

The Ravenclaw quickly catches up to Luke, now being side to side in the cold air. He suddenly slams his side into Luke’s, making the Slytherin lose his balance.

For the first time since his first year, Luke falls off from the broom, hitting the ground with a harsh thump!

“And Luke Hughes from Slytherin is down!” The announcer yells.

Luke groans as he tries to lift himself off the ground. He looks up to see the Ravenclaw seeker smirk at him, before flying past to follow the snitch.

“That cheating bitch,” Luke mumbles under his breath, getting up and wiping the sand away from his uniform.

You were in the crowd and had seen the entire thing play out. Even though you were upset with Luke for breaking up with you and then kissing another girl just weeks after; you still cared deeply for him. You were beyond worried seeing him fall to the ground mid game.

“Don’t do it,” your friend warns you after the game, knowing you were going straight to Luke. “YN, he kissed another girl at a party like you were nothing.”

“But he’s hurt,” you say, “I’m sorry Mary, but I have to go to him.”

She doesn’t stop you, understanding your point of view. She knew you loved him deeply, she had spent many nights holding you as you cried your heart out, asking her what you did wrong in the relationship for Luke to leave like that.

“Luke.” Your voice calls out to him as he makes his way to the locker room. He was angry at himself, angry that he let some stupid Ravenclaw stop him from playing further and that Slytherin had lost.

When you approach him, he feels deja vu. But he knows he can’t walk away, that wouldn’t be fair to you.

“Luke, are you alright? I saw everything,”

“I’m fine,” he says, looking straight into your eyes.

“Oh okay,” you mumble quietly. You look down, eyes filling with tears again. It felt so strange talking to him like this—like you weren’t just in love with each other a few weeks ago.

Luke takes notice of your body language, realizing straight away that you were tearing up. He hated seeing you cry, and he hated being the cause of it even more.

“I guess I’ll go then,” you say, wiping your eyes as you retreat your bag from the ground.

“Wait..” Luke says. He pulls you back by your arm, slightly cringing. He never thought in his life that he would be doing something like this.

“I’m sorry,” he looks anywhere but at you, “I miss you YN, a lot. I hope you’re doing okay, and I’m really sorry we ended the way we did.”

Your tears that had stopped before suddenly began to stream down your face again. “I miss you too Luke.”

He pulls you in for a hug, one that is so tight because the both of you are scared to let go again.

“Luke, please get back together with me. I can’t handle us being apart, especially because of stupid comments made by people.”

Luke places his chin on your head, rubbing your back comfortingly. You were probably wetting his uniform with your mascara and tears, but he couldn’t care less at the moment.

“I’m sorry for making you feel like shit lovie,” Luke mumbles, “I’m so fucking sorry. I never wanted to break up with you, I thought I would be saving us both the heartbreak. I thought that I could never be enough for you. I was idiotic to let you go like that.”

You pull away from the hug to look at Luke. His eyes were glossy, and his eyes were filled with sadness.

“I want us back,” you say, “I don’t care about anyone but you, Luke. I don’t give a shit about what they say, as long as you’re mine again,”

Luke leans in to give you a kiss, one that is so passionate and genuine. It isn’t filled with lust, instead, filled with longing and love.

“YN L/N, will you be my girlfriend again?” Luke says while he’s crying.

You laugh, crying just as much as he is. “Yes Luke, I’ll always say yes.”

He pulls you back into a hug again, right hand on your head as his left is wrapped around your waist.

“You know that Ravenclaw was talking about you during the game? I’m gonna fucking kill him,” he mumbles into your hair.

You giggle. “Alright Lukey, you go do that.”

God, he’s so relieved to have you back in his arms again.

#wow this one was a lot. #slytherin!luke (ghostfacd version) #luke hughes #luke hughes imagine #luke hughes x y/n #luke hughes fic #luke hughes fluff #luke hughes x reader #jack hughes #quinn hughes #mark estapa #umich fic #umich blurbs #umich imagine #nhl x reader #nhl x you #luke hughes imagines #umich hockey #jack hughes x y/n #quinn hughes x reader #nhl fanfiction #nhl fic #nhl fluff

[lila-lou]

✨ His only exception - Pt. 18/? ✨

Summary: 12 months ago, Butcher went above and beyond to have you join his team. You had a simple office job at Supe Affairs. The same thing every day, working from 9 to 5 and watching Butcher and his team defeat one renegade after another. One evening, however, something changed.

Pairing: Soldier Boy x Reader

Warnings: 18+ only! Something that could count as rape, Smut, Language, kinda cheating, dominant Ben, Ben being Ben - WELL, HE´S A WARNING HIMSELF

Word Count: 6158

A/N: This is part 18 of “His only exeption”.

English isn’t my first language, so please be lenient. 💙✨

As the rest of the team returned home, Annie took it upon herself to search for you, knocking softly on Ben's door.

"Hey, have you seen (Y/N)?", she called out, her voice muffled through the wooden door. "I've been looking for her everywhere".

Ben's annoyed groan reverberated through the room as he responded to Annie's inquiry. "Fuck off, she's sleeping", he barked, his voice louder than intended, causing you to shift slightly in his arms.

Annie frowned at his curt response, concern evident in her voice. "Is everything okay in there?", she asked, her tone tinged with worry.

Ben sighed, his irritation palpable as he gently brushed your hair to soothe you back to sleep. "She's fine, just exhausted", he muttered, his voice low and gruff. "Now, if you don't mind, I suggest you fucking leave before I tear you apart".

Annie recoiled slightly at his threat, but she knew better than to push further. She backed away from the door, leaving you and Ben in peace.

Ben stubbed out his joint, his movements careful as he stood up with you cradled in his arms. With a soft grunt, he made his way over to his bed, settling you down gently on the mattress before tucking the blankets around you snugly.

Ben pulled on just some sweatpants before heading out to the kitchen, leaving you sleeping peacefully in his room. In the hallway, he found Annie and Hughie, who had been eagerly awaiting his return.

“What?”, Ben snapped, his tone dripping with irritation as he glared at them.

Annie raised an eyebrow at his hostility. “Just checking on (Y/N)”, she replied calmly. “We heard some commotion earlier”.

Ben scoffed, his lips twisting into a sneer. “She’s fine”, he retorted dismissively. “Now get out of my sight before I decide to do something you’ll regret”.

Hughie exchanged a worried glance with Annie, sensing the tension in the air. “We just wanted to make sure everything’s okay”, he added, his voice hesitant.

Ben’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “I said she’s fine”, he growled, his patience wearing thin.

Annie couldn't help but match Ben's attitude with her own. "Geez, Ben, no need to be such a grump", she retorted. "We're just trying to make sure our friend is okay. If that's too much for you to handle, maybe you should take a chill pill".

Ben's jaw clenched at her sass, but before he could respond, Hughie stepped in, trying to diffuse the tension. "Come on, Annie, let's give him some space", he suggested. "We'll check in with (Y/N) later".

With that, Annie and Hughie turned around, leaving Ben alone with his thoughts and his simmering anger.

Ben grabbed a bottle of whiskey from the kitchen before retreating back to his bedroom. He took a seat in his chair, propped his feet up on his desk, and started to drink, his gaze fixed on your small, naked body sleeping peacefully on his bed, wrapped in his sheets.

As he watched you, a mixture of emotions flooded through him—anger, desire, protectiveness. He took a swig of whiskey, the burn of alcohol easing the tension in his muscles as he tried to make sense of his conflicting feelings.

Despite his gruff exterior, deep down, Ben couldn't deny the sense of warmth that washed over him as he watched you sleep. You may drive him crazy at times, but there was something about the sight of you, vulnerable and innocent in slumber, that stirred something inside him.

He took another sip of whiskey, the amber liquid warming him from the inside out as he allowed himself a rare moment of quiet reflection, his eyes never leaving your form as you slept soundly in his bed.

As you stirred awake, a cold shiver ran down your spine, pulling you out of your slumber. Blinking away the remnants of sleep, you rubbed your eyes and glanced around the room, feeling the chill of the air against your naked skin. The blanket that had once covered you was now barely clinging to your body, leaving you exposed and vulnerable.

Your gaze fell upon Ben, who sat in his chair with a nearly empty bottle of whiskey in his hand. His eyes were fixed on you, his expression unreadable as he watched you stir.

A sense of unease washed over you as you realized you were practically naked in front of him, your body exposed to his intense scrutiny. You quickly reached for the blanket, pulling it up to cover yourself as best as you could, feeling a flush of embarrassment creeping into your cheeks.

"Ben?", you called out softly, your voice tinged with uncertainty as you met his gaze.

"Mhmm?", Ben mumbled, tearing his gaze away from your body to meet your eyes.

You sat up slightly, your movements slow and labored, exhaustion evident in every line of your body. With a voice barely above a whisper, you spoke, your words barely audible due to the soreness in your throat.

"Why are you still awake?", you asked.

Ben's jaw clenched slightly as he regarded you, his expression unreadable. "Couldn't sleep", he grumbled, his tone gruff.

You bit your lip, a nervous habit in the presence of his intense gaze. "Come to bed, Ben", you whispered.

But he shook his head, his jaw still tight. "I'll stay here", he replied curtly, his voice betraying none of the emotions swirling inside him.

You sighed softly, feeling the weight of exhaustion settling in your bones as you stood up slowly, the blanket still draped around you. With determined steps, you made your way over to where Ben sat, his eyes following your every move.

Gently, you reached out and took the bottle from his hand, placing it aside as you stood between his legs, the warmth of his body seeping into yours.

Ben's hand sneaked under the blanket, pulling it lazily aside to get a perfect view of your naked body. His eyes trailed over your skin, and he couldn't help but notice the blue bruises covering your hip bones, evidence of his roughness from earlier.

His thumb brushed over the marks as he held you by your hip, feeling the goosebumps rise on your skin. Without a word, you climbed onto his lap, straddling him, and pressed your naked breasts against his stomach as you hugged him tightly.

"I'm cold", you whispered softly, your voice barely audible as you buried your face in the crook of his neck.

Ben didn't push you away, but he didn't exactly reciprocate the hug either. He tolerated your actions, his body tense beneath yours as you sought warmth in his embrace.

"You should go back to sleep", he muttered. "I'll be fine".

You sighed softly, knowing it was pointless to argue with him. You could sense the underlying turmoil within him, and you wished there was something you could do to ease his burden.

"I'm not leaving you alone", you insisted quietly, your arms still wrapped around him. "Not when you're like this".

Ben's jaw tightened at your words, but he didn't protest. He simply sat there, allowing you to hold onto him.

You chuckled softly, trying to lighten the mood. "Well, your radioactive chest does have its perks", you teased, a faint smile playing on your lips. "Like providing me with some much-needed warmth".

Ben huffed a small laugh, the tension in his shoulders easing slightly. "Guess it's good for something", he conceded.

You settled against him, feeling the steady rise and fall of his chest beneath you.

As you drifted back to sleep, Ben lay an arm around you, pulling the blanket over your back, his touch gentle despite the weight of his exhaustion. He let out a heavy sigh.

After a while, Ben carefully lifted you from his lap, cradling you in his arms as he carried you back to the bed. With a tenderness that belied his usual demeanor, he laid you down gently on the mattress, ensuring you were comfortable before joining you.

Curling up beside you, he wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you close to his chest.

With a final sigh, he closed his eyes, allowing himself to drift into a deep and much-needed sleep, knowing that you were safe and sound by his side.

The next morning, you stirred awake to find Ben still sleeping soundly beside you. His features softened in slumber, the lines of tension from the previous night smoothed out in the light of morning.

You couldn't help but admire the peaceful expression on his face, a stark contrast to his usual hardened exterior. With a small smile, you gently brushed a strand of hair away from his forehead, watching as he shifted slightly in his sleep, but didn't wake.

You carefully slipped out of bed, pulling one of Ben's shirts over your body for modesty as you made your way out of his room, trying not to disturb his peaceful slumber. The fabric hung loose around your frame, offering a sense of comfort as you tiptoed out of the room, leaving him to rest undisturbed.

You ran into Hughie and Annie in the hallway, who seemed relieved to see you up and about.

“Hey, (Y/N), everything okay?”, Hughie asked, his tone laced with concern.

You nodded, feeling a slight tremor in your hands as you spoke. "Yeah, I'm feeling much better now", you replied, your voice still hoarse. "Ben actually took great care of me".

Annie and Hughie exchanged surprised glances, clearly not expecting to hear that. "Really?", Annie asked, raising an eyebrow skeptically.

You nodded again, offering them a small smile. "Yeah, really", you affirmed, hoping they would drop the subject.

As you stood there in the hallway, Annie and Hughie seemed to be processing your words, their expressions a mix of surprise and confusion.

Annie spoke up first, her tone still skeptical. "Well, I guess that's a surprise", she remarked.

Hughie nodded slowly, seeming unsure of what to make of the situation. "Yeah, I guess so", he murmured, his gaze shifting between you and Annie.

You could sense their disbelief, but you knew what had transpired between you and Ben. Despite everything, he saved you.

You shifted slightly, feeling the need to break the tension in the air. "Anyway, I think I'm going to go take a shower", you announced.

Annie nodded, her expression still wary. "Yeah, sounds like a good idea", she replied, her tone cautious.

With a nod, you headed towards the bathroom, leaving Annie and Hughie behind in the hallway.

As you stood in the kitchen, putting the finishing touches on breakfast, you heard footsteps approaching from the hallway. You turned to see Ben emerging from his room, his presence immediately catching Butcher's attention.

Butcher's gaze narrowed as he watched Ben enter the kitchen, his expression unreadable.

You tried to act normal, offering a casual "Good morning, Ben", but he only grumbled in response, grabbing a pancake before retreating back to his room.

Butcher raised an eyebrow at Ben's behavior, then turned his attention to you and Annie. "What's up with him?", he asked, his tone suspicious.

You shrugged, exchanging a glance with Annie. "Who knows?", you replied, trying to brush it off. "He's probably just not a morning person".

Annie nodded in agreement, though her expression hinted at concern. "Yeah, probably", she added, though her eyes lingered on Ben's closed door.

As Butcher scrutinized Ben, he remarked, "His mood's worse than usual".

MM chimed in, "Yeah, he's always a prick, but today he's on another level".

As everyone began to eat, the conversation turned to the urgent matter at hand: finding Homelander. Ideas and strategies were tossed around the table as pancakes disappeared from the plates.

Butcher took the lead, outlining a plan that involved gathering more intel and coordinating with their allies. Hughie and Annie listened intently, offering their insights and suggestions.

As the night settled in and everyone drifted off to sleep, you found yourself unable to shake the unease that had settled over you since Ben's distant behavior earlier in the day. With a quiet resolve, you made your way to his room.

Your heart pounded in your chest as you reached his door, and you hesitated for a moment before mustering the courage to knock softly, hoping he would hear you.

The door creaked open, revealing Ben standing there, his expression more annoyed than you had ever seen it. "What?", he grumbled, his tone sharp with irritation.

You swallowed hard, feeling a lump form in your throat at his harsh demeanor. "I-I just wanted to check on you", you stammered, your voice barely above a whisper.

Ben's scowl softened slightly at your words, but his irritation still lingered. "I'm fine", he muttered curtly but stepping back to let you into the room.

You hesitated for a moment before stepping inside, feeling a sense of unease settling over you in the tense atmosphere. "Are you sure?", you asked softly.

Ben's jaw clenched as he turned away from you and reached for his joint on the desk.

"I said I'm fine", he snapped and lit up the joint, inhaling deeply before exhaling a cloud of smoke.

You watched him silently, unsure of how to proceed in the face of his hostility.

Ben glanced over his shoulder, his eyes narrowing as he noticed you still standing there.

"What are you waiting for?", he sneered. "You gonna keep standing there looking stupid, or are you gonna do something useful and get naked?".

You were taken aback by his blunt request, but you tried to overplay it with a hint of sarcasm.

"Wow, Ben, you really know how to charm a girl", you muttered, your tone laced with irritation. "There are definitely more romantic ways to start this".

You tried to keep your voice steady, masking the slight hint of anger bubbling beneath the surface.

Ben chuckled, the sound low and rough. "Romantic, huh? You think I give a fuck about romance?", he retorted. "Just get on with it or get out".

You bristled at his dismissive attitude, but you knew arguing with him would only make things worse. With a resigned sigh, you began to undress, feeling a mix of frustration and resignation settling in the pit of your stomach.

As you stripped off your clothes, Ben's gaze remained fixed on you.

Once you were completely naked, you stood before him, feeling exposed and vulnerable under his gaze. "Happy now?", you muttered.

Ben's lips curled into a smirk, his eyes darkening with desire. "Ecstatic", he replied sarcastically. "Now get over here".

Reluctantly, you approached him.

Ben leaned back in his chair, a smirk playing on his lips as he watched you approach. "Get on your knees", he ordered, his voice commanding.

You hesitated for a moment, your throat still sore from the previous night's rough encounter. "Ben, my throat…", you whimpered softly.

"I don't care", he replied curtly. "You wanted to be here, now do as you're told".

Reluctantly, you sank to your knees before him, feeling a sense of resignation wash over you.

As you knelt before him, Ben's expression darkened, his impatience evident as he watched you. With a rough gesture, he grabbed your hair, pulling you closer to him.

"Open your mouth", he commanded.

You complied, parting your lips to accommodate him, feeling a mixture of apprehension and resignation washing over you, as he guided himself into your mouth.

With a determined effort to ignore the pain in your throat, you began to suck him, your lips wrapping tightly around his hardness. You focused on the rhythmic movement, trying to find a rhythm that pleased him. His grip tightened on your hair, guiding your movements as he groaned softly in satisfaction.

Despite the discomfort, you did your best to pleasure him, swirling your tongue around his shaft and taking him deeper into your mouth with each stroke. You could feel him growing harder in response, his breaths becoming ragged as pleasure coursed through his body.

"Keep going", Ben instructed, his voice low and husky as he took a drag from his joint, his eyes half-lidded with pleasure. "Don't stop".

You nodded obediently, your focus solely on pleasing him as you continued to work your mouth along his length. The smell of his smoke mixed with the scent of his arousal, filling the air around you as you lost yourself in the task at hand.

As you continued to suck him, you used your tongue to swirl around his shaft, alternating between gentle licks and more insistent strokes. You took him deep into your mouth, feeling the weight of him on your tongue as you moved back and forth.

Meanwhile, Ben leaned back in his chair, his eyes closed in bliss as he enjoyed the sensation of your mouth on him. He took another drag from his joint, the smoke curling lazily around him as he savored the sensation of your lips and tongue.

With a rough tug, Ben pulled you to your feet, his grip firm as he turned you to face his desk. As he pushed you down, your torso laying on the surface, he stubbed out the joint with a grunt.

"Enough of that", he growled. "Time for the real fun".

You braced yourself against the desk, a mixture of anticipation and apprehension coursing through you.

Ben, in no mood for gentleness, swiftly pulled down his sweatpants.

With a forceful thrust, Ben entered you roughly, causing you to yank forward and emit a sharp whine of discomfort.

"Take it", he growled.

As Ben squeezed your already bruised hips, you couldn't help but whimper again, the pain shooting through your body like a jolt of electricity.

"Fuck", he muttered, his grip tightening as he began to move with relentless force.

You bit your lip, trying to stifle another whimper, as the intensity of his thrusts sent waves of discomfort and pleasure coursing through you.

"Ben, please", you gasped, the discomfort becoming unbearable as your hipbones met the edge of the desk with each of his forceful thrusts. "Slow down".

But Ben ignored your plea, his movements growing even more aggressive as he continued to pound into you.

"Ben, I said slow down!", you exclaimed, your voice tinged with frustration and pain. "You're hurting me".

But Ben only grunted in response.

You clenched your teeth, trying to endure the discomfort as best as you could, but it was becoming increasingly difficult to bear.

"Ben, please", you pleaded, your voice cracking with emotion. "I can't take it like this. Slow down".

His grip on your hips tightened even more, and you winced at the added pressure.

But this time, your words seemed to break through his trance. He paused, his expression clouded with irritation.

"Stop whining", he snapped. "You wanted this, didn't you?".

Your heart sank at his callous words, the pain in your body matching the ache in your heart.

Using the moment of pause, you summoned all your strength to push him away, shoving him back with all your might. He stumbled backward, surprise flickering across his face as he caught sight of your teary eyes and trembling legs.

“What the fuck?”, he exclaimed, his tone incredulous as he regained his balance.

“You’re a fucking asshole, Ben!”, you snapped, your voice laced with anger and frustration.

As you quickly began to dress yourself, your hands shaking with anger and hurt, Ben followed suit.

"What's your fucking problem?", he growled, his voice dripping with irritation.

“I’m serious, Ben”, you said firmly, your voice trembling with emotion. “If I tell you to stop or to slow down, you have to listen!”.

Ben scoffed, his expression darkening with disdain. “You think you can tell me what to do?”, he retorted.

“What the hell is wrong with you today?”, you demanded, frustration boiling beneath the surface of your words.

Ben’s jaw clenched, his gaze hardening as he met your eyes. “Nothing’s wrong with me”, he snapped.

"You hurt me, Ben!", you exclaimed, your voice tinged with both anger and hurt.

Without another word, Ben stormed out of the room, leaving you standing there, feeling a mix of frustration and betrayal. After a moment of hesitation, you gathered your things and left the his room.

About an hour later, Annie knocked at your door just as you snuggled under your blanket, trying to find some comfort after the tense encounter with Ben.

"Hey, (Y/N), are you okay?", Annie's voice sounded concerned through the door.

You sighed heavily, feeling drained from the emotional rollercoaster of the day. "Yeah, I'm fine", you replied, your voice muffled by the blanket. "Just had a little disagreement with Ben, that's all".

Annie's voice was filled with sympathy. "I heard you yelling", she said softly. "Do you want to talk about it?".

You hesitated for a moment before responding. "No, it's okay", you said, your voice shivering slightly. "I just need some time alone".

Annie paused for a moment before responding. "Alright, but if you need anything, I'm here", she said reassuringly. "Take care of yourself, okay?".

As you curled up under the blanket, the events of the day replayed in your mind like a relentless loop.

Anger, frustration, and hurt swirled within you, making it difficult to find peace. Ben's dismissive attitude and rough treatment lingered in your thoughts, leaving you feeling vulnerable and betrayed.

As Ben made his way to the next strip club, his mind was a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. The events of the evening with you lingered in the back of his mind, but he pushed them aside, seeking distraction in the familiar chaos of the club. The dim lights, pounding music, and scantily clad dancers provided a temporary escape from his troubles, allowing him to lose himself in the moment.

Ben settled into a plush couch in the front row, his eyes scanning the stage as the music pulsed through the club. The air was thick with anticipation, and he relished the freedom to indulge his desires without restraint. The supes on stage moved with an otherworldly grace, their movements captivating and hypnotic.

As the first dancer approached, Ben's gaze locked onto her, his jaw tensing with anticipation. Here, in the midst of the exotic and alluring, he could forget about everything else, if only for a fleeting moment.

As a girl approached him, her eyes lighting up with recognition, a sultry smile played on her lips. She moved closer, her body swaying with a mesmerizing rhythm as she leaned in towards Ben.

"Soldier Boy", she purred, her voice low and seductive. "What can I do for you tonight?".

Ben's lips curved into a smirk as he looked her up and down, his gaze lingering on her curves. "Just entertain me", he replied, his voice laced with a hint of command. "Show me what you can do".

The supe girl nodded eagerly, her movements becoming even more enticing as she danced before him, eager to please him in every way possible.

The girl moved closer to Ben, her body swaying in time with the music as she straddled his lap. Her hands traced tantalizing patterns along his chest, sending shivers down his spine as she leaned in close, her breath hot against his ear.

With practiced precision, she began to grind against him, her movements fluid and hypnotic. Each sway of her hips sent waves of pleasure coursing through him, his senses overwhelmed by the sensation of her soft skin against his.

As the music pulsed around them, the supe girl's movements grew more intense, her hands roaming boldly over his body as she pressed herself against him.

The girl leaned in close, her lips brushing against his ear as she whispered seductively, "You know, Soldier Boy, I can give you so much more backstage… I want you to fuck me… hard".

Her words sent a surge of desire coursing through Ben's veins as he looked into her eyes, his own dark with anticipation. "Lead the way", he growled, his voice low and husky with desire.

With a sultry smile, the supe girl took his hand and led him towards the backstage area, her hips swaying enticingly as she walked. Ben followed eagerly, his mind racing with anticipation of what was to come.

Feeling discomfort coursing through your body, you struggled to find a comfortable position in bed. With little whimpers escaping your lips, you decided to get up and make your way to the bathroom, hoping to find some relief from the pain.

Each step was a reminder of the soreness between your legs, making you wince with every movement.

Once in the bathroom, you searched for some pain relief, hoping it would ease the throbbing ache between your legs.

You rummaged through the medicine cabinet until you found a tube of soothing cream.

With careful movements, you applied the cream to your sore flesh, wincing slightly at the tender touch. The cool relief it provided was a welcome sensation. Closing your eyes, you leaned back against the bathroom counter, hoping that the cream would bring some relief and allow you to finally get some rest.

As your eyes flickered to your bruised hipbones reflected in the mirror, the sight made you wince, a fresh wave of discomfort washing over you. You couldn't help but wonder why Ben had acted the way he did, his roughness leaving both physical and emotional marks on you.

Sighing softly, you leaned closer to the mirror, studying your reflection as if searching for answers. But the reflection staring back at you offered no solace, only a silent reminder of the pain and confusion swirling inside you. Closing your eyes briefly, you pushed aside the troubling thoughts, focusing instead on the present moment and the hope that the cream would bring some relief.

As Ben was pushed lightly into the makeup room backstage, the girl's grin widened, her eyes flickering with excitement.

"You ready for some fun, Soldier Boy?", she purred.

Ben's lips curved into a smirk as he leaned closer to her, his gaze smoldering with desire. "I'm always ready", he replied, his voice thick with anticipation.

The girl wasted no time taking the lead, her movements fluid and enticing as she closed the distance between them. She pressed her body against his, the heat of her skin igniting a primal desire within him.

"You like what you see, Soldier Boy?", she teased, her hands trailing over his chest with a playful smirk.

Ben's breath hitched as he felt her touch, a low growl escaping his lips. "I like it a lot", he admitted.

With a primal growl, Ben tore away the scanty garments that barely covered the supe´s body, his desire consuming him as he pushed her roughly onto her knees. With swift movements, he stripped off his own pants and boxers, his throbbing member springing free, ready for action.

With practiced ease, the girl took him into her mouth, her lips wrapping around his shaft effortlessly. Her tongue danced skillfully around him, eliciting groans of pleasure from Ben as she expertly pleasured him. Her eyes remained locked with his, a look of intense desire burning in her gaze as she worked him with expert precision.

Despite the girl's impressive skills, Ben found it difficult to shake the image of you from his mind. Groaning with frustration, he pulled her up, his hands gripping her hips firmly as he pushed her against the wall. Her ass was on full display, and she eagerly pushed her hips back, wiggling her ass enticingly as she waited for him to take her from behind.

Ben's grip tightened on her hips as he positioned himself behind her, his cock throbbing with need. With a primal growl, he thrust into her with force, causing her to gasp in pleasure.

"You like it rough, huh?", he grunted, his voice husky with desire as he pounded into her relentlessly.

She moaned in response, her hands bracing against the wall as she pushed back against him, meeting his every thrust with equal fervor.

"You're so big", she whimpered, her voice filled with ecstasy as she surrendered to the overwhelming sensation of him filling her completely.

Ben's movements became more aggressive, his pace quickening as he drove himself deeper into her, the sound of their bodies colliding echoing through the room.

"You want it harder?", he growled. She nodded eagerly, her desire matching his own as she begged for more.

As the supe moaned loudly, her voice echoing like something out of a porno, Ben couldn’t help but feel annoyed by the exaggerated display. Her exaggerated noises grated on his nerves, reminding him of what he truly craved – the soft, genuine whimpers and moans that escaped your lips.

Despite her enthusiastic performance, Ben found himself longing for the raw, authentic connection he shared with you. He missed the way your body responded to his touch, the way your breath hitched and your skin flushed with desire.

Ben tried to shake off his thoughts and feelings, focusing instead on the supe beneath him. With a determined grunt, he began to fuck her harder, his movements rough and relentless as he sought to drown out the memories of you.

As he thrust into her with increasing intensity, the girl's moans grew even louder, her body trembling with pleasure. But despite his efforts to lose himself in the moment, Ben couldn't shake the nagging feeling of discontent that gnawed at him from within.

Her legs began to shake, her breath coming in ragged gasps as she struggled to keep up with his relentless pace.

"You like that, huh?", Ben grunted. "You're just a filthy little slut, aren't you?".

The supe girl moaned in response, her nails digging into the wall as she surrendered to the overwhelming sensation of him filling her completely.

The supe girl's pleas filled the room as she begged Ben to go harder, her voice a desperate melody of desire and ecstasy.

"You want it harder?", Ben growled, his grip on her hips tightening as he driving himself deeper into her with each powerful thrust.

With a mixture of pain and pleasure, the supe girl cried out, her body trembling with the force of his movements as she surrendered completely to the overwhelming sensation.

Ben grunted in frustration as he struggled to reach his peak, his movements becoming more aggressive with each passing moment. With a growl of annoyance, he resorted to using more force, his hand coming down hard on the supe girl's ass, leaving a red mark in its wake.

Despite his efforts, Ben found himself unable to release, the nagging feeling of dissatisfaction lingering in the back of his mind.

With a final grunt of effort, Ben finally reached his climax, his release spilling forth as he pulled out abruptly. Without a word, he turned the supe girl around forcefully, pushing her down to the ground.

"Take it", he growled, his voice rough with exertion as he unleashed his pent-up frustration, his hot seed splattering across her face in thick, white ropes.

The supe girl gasped as she felt the warm liquid coating her skin, her eyes wide with surprise and arousal as she looked up at Ben.

"Fuck", she breathed, a mixture of excitement and satisfaction in her voice as she licked her lips.

As Ben pulled up his jeans, his mind still swirling with thoughts of you, he couldn't help but let out a scoff of disdain.

"You're lucky I even bothered", he muttered, his tone dripping with arrogance as he looked down at the supe girl beneath him. "Most girls would kill for a chance like that".

The supe girl bristled at his words, a hint of indignation flickering in her eyes as she scrambled to her feet.

"Whatever you say, Soldier Boy", she shot back, her tone defiant as she straightened her clothes.

Ben rolled his eyes, dismissing her with a wave of his hand as he turned to leave the room.

As Ben's mind continued to revolve around you, he pushed open the door to the apartment, his steps heavy with uncertainty. Despite his anger and frustration, a part of him longed for the familiar comfort of your presence.

Quietly, he made his way towards your room, his heart pounding. He hesitated for a moment before opening the door and stepping inside, his eyes searching the room for any sign of you.

Ben's gaze softened as he spotted you curled up in the sheets, sound asleep. Relief flooded through him, momentarily easing the tension in his muscles. He stood there for a moment, watching you sleep, a mixture of emotions swirling inside him.

As Ben watched you sleep, a tumultuous whirlwind of emotions churned within him. He couldn't deny the fierce care and affection he felt for you, a feeling that surpassed anything he'd ever experienced before. Yet, at the same time, he grappled with a sense of frustration and self-doubt, unable to fully express his emotions in the way he desired.

Despite his tough exterior, deep down, Ben knew that he cared for you more than just for the physical connection you shared. It unsettled him, this vulnerability, this longing for something more meaningful than just casual encounters. In his mind, he felt like a fucking pussy for allowing himself to feel so deeply, for admitting that he wanted more than just the physical intimacy you provided.

He needed to calm down and distract himself somehow. Somehow he had to let his feelings out and he did it in his own way. In the only way he knew how. Sex. Rough sex.

With a heavy sigh, Ben turned away, his heart heavy with conflicting emotions. He knew he couldn't keep denying his true feelings for you, but the fear of vulnerability held him back, trapping him in a cycle of frustration and longing.

The next day, Hughie took charge of breakfast, bustling around the kitchen as he prepared a hearty meal for everyone. The aroma of sizzling bacon and freshly brewed coffee filled the air, coaxing you out of your slumber.

As you entered the kitchen, the sight of Hughie's culinary efforts brought a smile to your face. Despite the tension that had lingered in the air after last night's events, it was reassuring to see everyone coming together for a morning meal.

Butcher's gaze lingered on you as you entered the kitchen, his brow furrowing in concern. "Why are you walking so funny?", he asked, his tone laced with curiosity.

Just then, Ben joined the kitchen, his presence causing a subtle shift in the atmosphere. His eyes briefly met yours before he turned his attention to Hughie's cooking.

Ben watched you closely as you made your way to a free chair, your movements slow and deliberate. He couldn't help but notice the slight stiffness in your gait, a subtle indication of discomfort. However, you did your best to act as though everything was normal, masking any signs of pain.

Butcher grinned mischievously. "What's the matter, (Y/N)? Got a little too adventurous last night?", he teased, a playful smirk playing on his lips.

Frenchie glanced at Ben, his expression unreadable as he observed him closely.

You felt heat rise to your cheeks, embarrassment flooding through you as Butcher's words hit their mark.

"Uh, no, nothing like that", you stammered, trying to play it cool despite the blush creeping across your face.

Annie's keen eyes caught the subtle tension between you and Ben as he took a seat beside you.

"So, what's the plan for today?", she asked casually, though her eyes remained fixed on the two of you.

Butcher's voice cut through the tense atmosphere, drawing everyone's attention. "Homelander is back at vought", he announced, his tone resolute.

Ben's gaze snapped up at the mention of Homelander, a glint of determination in his eyes. The memory of what Homelander did to you fueled his desire for revenge, his jaw clenching at the thought.

As thoughts of Homelander raced through your mind, your heart began to pound with a mix of fear and anger. Sensing your unease, Ben subtly reached under the table and rested his warm hand on your thigh, offering a silent reassurance without needing to exchange words.

———————————

A/N: Well, I know it´s a lot, but please don´t hate me ._.

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Part 19

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Taglist: @deangirl96, @thatgirljayy, @suckitands33, @deans-spinster-witch@mimaria420@kaz11283@uncle-eggy @jackles010378 @vxnilla-hxrddrugs @meowmeowyoongles @sarahgracej @zemosdarling228 @leila22rogers @mostlymarvelgirl @emily-winchester @blacknoirr @onlyangel-444 @seasonofthenerd @staple-your-mouth @artemys-ackles @selfdestructionandrhum @mystic-mara

#jensen ackles #soldier boy #soldier boy x female reader #soldier boy x reader #soldier boy x y/n #the boys #the boys hughie #hughie campbell #billy butcher

[stygianoaths]

There are times where I wonder if Luke asked Dionysus to cure his mother, you know, what with Dionysus being the god of madness.

I like to believe that Luke had offered to steal the best bottle of wine there is to be stolen in the world, a solemn promise from the son of Hermes.

"No one would know," he whispered earnestly.

Not even the gods.

And maybe Dionysus had laughed at the idea, no matter how intriguing it was, because of course a demigod of mere fifteen would be so bold yet naive to strike deals with gods so much bigger than he. He shut the child down on the spot. He wouldn't fall for such nonsense.

"And risk my father's wrath? You mock me," he drawled. He had made it a point to omit the fact he was not going to tamper with his uncle's curse either. It was off-limits after all, just like that troublesome nymph. He flicked the dirt from his nails, ignoring the way Luke shook on the spot.

"Well? If that's all you better get going, Lucius," he had said.

And Luke's wrath bubbled over in return.

"What good are you gods for, if you won't help us? You're so useless," he scoffed.

Dionysus's eyes lit up in purple at the jab and he got up from his chair. The ground shook as vines broke through the earth. Something felt off yet familiar with the way Luke did not cower at the display of power. Tch, heroes and their bravado.

"We gods do not owe you mortals anything."

"Yes, you do?" Luke retorted with incredulity, dragging a chair to the side as he inched on Dionysus, uncaring of the purple flames that had begun to circle them, the vines that were dangerously close to tugging him by the ankle.

"You owe your entire existence to humanity! We wrote your stories and remembered you! We fought your battles and we died for you!"

"And?" Dionysus laughed, though there was no humor behind it, "I don't care. You can come up with a thousand sob stories, Luis, and I still won't care. I've seen it all and it's all the same. You demigods are nothing but mayflies, destined to die early since the day you were born."

That seemed to silence the boy.

"Of course, I'll make sure to tell all of that to Castor and Pollux. I'll tell them Pops doesn't give a damn if they die now or later, because apparently it doesn't matter anyways. Tell them how he knew what demigod life would be like for them and still went ahead and brought them into this world anyways."

Or not.

"Take their names out of your mouth, boy," Dionysus warned, vines seizing at Luke's wrists and knees.

"Or what? You're gonna drive me insane just like Mom?"

Dionysus wanted to tell him that he was pretty much halfway there, with the way Luke wore that look of hysteria that bordered on madness. It was so faint yet tangible all the same. Dionysus wanted to push the kid to the limit, see him snap.

"Oh, but that would be too easy!" he sneers, "no, I was thinking more of that little sister of yours you so adore, Annie Bell, her name was? Yes, yes I think madness would look absolutely delicious on a daughter of Athena."

There was absolutely nothing to back up that threat, but it seemed to hit the mark.

Luke had crumpled completely, like something hit him hard in the stomach. Dionysus's lips twitched up in victory. If the boy wanted to play dirty and mention family, then it was only fair he would too.

"Fuck you," Luke whispered, tears cornering in his eyes.

Before the god could act on his threat, however, the sound of trotting hooves nearing towards the Big House made their way through the windows.

Dionysus sighed, raising a hand to release the vines' hold on Luke. He did not want to listen to Chiron's lecture on how threatening the lives of demigods isn't "Camp Director" like.

Luke, on the other hand, slammed the door behind him, scaring off the harpies perched on the roof of the Big House. Dionysus had half a mind to choke the kid with grapevines for the act of insolence.

Chiron came through that same door, placing a hand on the side of it while he looked backwards.

"With that anger, he will get himself killed too early," he murmured with concern. Dionysus snorted, letting the vines return to the soil, the flames around him dying down.

"They all do."

Oh, how he would eat those words, watching Castor's shroud burn.

He was too young. Too young.

A nagging voice reminds him that so was Luke. So was Thalia. So was Annabeth. So was Percy. So was Nico. So was nearly everyone that huddled around the pyres, holding each other and sobbing. Gods, they were crying. War was never kind.

Even that daughter of Ares, who would rather be caught dead than vulnerable, let slip a few tears, and her hissed out "are you happy now?" as she shoved herself past the god of wine will haunt him for millenias to come.

If only he had tried to save May Castellan, given her back to Hermes the way he was supposed to, maybe his son would be standing here with him and watching the pyres light up the night.

Instead, all he could do was listen to Pollux's hysterical screams while Hermes pulls Castor up by the hand, taking the newly deceased to a place where Dionysus can no longer follow.

#in which i bonk dionysus with the 'feel remorse you bastard' sledgehammer #also this is my explanation as to why he helps chris rodriguez get his sanity back because his character arc felt a little choppy #pjo #percy jackson and the olympians #dionysus #luke castellan #annabeth chase #may castellan #hermes #percy jackson #thalia grace #clarisse la rue #castor #pollux #chiron #nico di angelo

[eclecticqueennerd]

Bad Idea Right?

*inspired by the song ‘Bad Idea Right?’ by Olivia Rodrigo.

*Language, smut, violence, breakup, alcohol consumption* Billy Butcher x reader

It’s been a few months since you left the boys. The direction Butcher was leading the group was a surefire plan to get you all killed and you wanted nothing to do with it. Convincing Butcher to take a moment to mull plans over instead of going in guns blazing was a tall order, one that ultimately made you decide that a relationship with him was not worth your life. You tried to convince the rest of the gang to leave but all that got you was a bunch of noes and a broken heart. Butcher, even with all his asshole ways, held your heart in his hand and it hurt to walk away from him. At least you have Annie keeping you company.

-Wyd 2nite?

Tearing your eyes away from the TV as you lounged on the dingy bed of your motel room Grace Mallory stashed you in, you typed out your response to Annie.

-nm, u?

-wanna meet up w Kimiko n go out?

-yass!

You and Annie meet up with Kimiko just outside of a nightclub. After you gather and exchange hugs, you go in and begin drinking and dancing to the heavy bass playing on the stereo. Multicolored lights flash all around you as you allow yourself to succumb to the party atmosphere. After the song ends, the three of you spot a booth off in the corner of the club and make your way there, stopping at the bar to refill your drinks. The three of you catch up. Annie was still in Vought Tower, Kimiko still working with Frenchie and The Boys. Kimiko gives a recount of how everyone else was doing in the group, including Butcher.

‘He really misses you.’ Kimiko signs. ‘We all really miss you. You should come back.’ You shake your head.

“No, I think it’s better for me to stay away. Butchers gonna get someone killed.” You could feel vibration coming from your phone in the pocket of your dress. Lifting it in front of your blurry eyes you blink a few times to clear them. You try to make out the name but it’s an unknown number, you declined the call.

“Besides, he probably hates me now.” Vibration came from your phone again. *Decline* Another call from the unknown number.

“He doesn’t hate you, y/n. I don’t think-” Annie begins to say but then you interject,

“I’m sorry, I gotta take this. This asshole keeps calling me.” Walking out of the club, you answer the call and before you can talk, you hear a gruff voice on the other line,

“Y/n?” You’d recognize that voice from anywhere. The last time you heard him speak was four months ago when you told him you were breaking up with him.

“Y/n, you there?”

“Butcher?”

“I need your help.”

“What happened?”

“I’m hurting real bad. I need you to come help me.”

“If you’re really that hurt-”

“Y/n, please.” You hear the desperation in his voice. He never begs for anything; he must be down bad. You let out an exasperated sigh and then *click*.

“Butcher? Billy?” You look at the phone screen and see that the call has ended. *ping* An address pops up on your phone. You sigh again. Tapping the edge of your phone on your forehead in frustration, you make your decision. You meet up with Annie and Kimiko and tell them that you’ll catch up with them later, you’ve got something you have to deal with. Rather, someone. But you didn’t dare tell them that.

Hailing a cab and telling the driver the address, you kept thinking this was not a good idea. From what you heard from the gang; Butcher did not take the breakup well. He broke things, drank more, and pushed everyone to their breaking point. MM had to leave the group to regain his sanity, only to return shortly after leaving. Kimiko recounted that Butcher was better when you were around. So why the hell was he calling you if you caused him so much pain? Watching the progression of your map marker reach its destination on Google Maps, your heart began to beat harder in your chest. The car stopped outside of a tall brick building. Tipping the cab driver you made your way in, texting Butcher and asking which level and unit he was in.

Trekking up the steps, heart pounding in your chest, the blurriness in your eyes from the booze now cleared, you made your way to his door. *knock, knock, knock* The door swung open, and across the threshold was Billy Butcher. Still the same handsome man you turned to putty for not too long ago. He stood before you shirtless, clad in green sweatpants. Your mouth went dry, and the screaming thoughts in your brain telling you to march right back down those steps ceased. The two of you just stood there, staring at each other.

“You uhh… gonna let me in or what?” Butcher blinks and then makes an opening for you to slip through. Hearing the soft click of the door shut behind you, you take in the emptiness of his studio apartment. The only furniture in the room was a pull-out bed with tangled sheets, coffee table covered in empty alcohol bottles and a box TV on a beat-up nightstand. You feel guilty for a moment as when the two of you were together, the apartment you lived in never got to this state.

“You said you were hurt?” You said as you turned around to face Butcher. He just stands there, holding a sweating beer bottle in his hand, eyes scanning you up and down. His eyes settle on your cleavage. You snap your fingers to get his attention. It works.

“What did you need help with?” Butcher explains that he needed to be patched up on his back. Turning him around you see that it’s scratches with some gravel lodged in the deeper lacerations. Most of the wounds were superficial, and none of them needed sutures.

“Jesus what did you do tonight, Butcher?”

“Got in a tussle. You gon help me or not?”

“Yeah, turn around.” As you begin cleaning the wounds on Butcher's back, your thoughts then return telling you that you should not be here and you should have gotten MM to clean his back up. After using a tweezer to pull out the small bits of gravel from his back, you grabbed a paper towel and doused it with hydrogen peroxide.

“This is gonna sting.” Before you got a reply out of him, Butcher hissed at the light dabbing you placed on his wounds with the paper towel. As he hissed, you saw the muscles in Butcher's back tense, reminding you of the times he had you on your back and was fucking up into you, head cradled in the crook of your neck, giving you a perfect view of his shoulders and back. You shake your head.

“Okay all done. Be more careful next time.” Throwing the used items in the trash bag and make your way to the bathroom to wash your hands in the bathroom sink. Splashing cold water on your face, makeup be damned, attempting to slow down the growing desire in your core. Walking out of the bathroom, you spot a Hawaiian shirt on the floor, torn and bloody. You look down to inspect it.

“Aw man, this was the shirt I gave you for your birthday. It’s fucked.” You see Butcher pouring two glasses of amber-colored liquor, and he offers you a glass.

“My favorite shirt.” He replies. You shake your head to decline the drink, but Butcher, being who he is, insists. Yanking the glass out of his hand and downing the amber liquid in one gulp, you set the glass down on the counter. You give him a brief goodbye and walk toward the door. Butcher grabs your wrist; you turn and see a silent plea in his eyes. Your brain screaming at you to fly down those steps and out of the building, your heart telling you to be in his arms again. He’s not good for you, he’ll get you killed.

Fuck it, it's fine. You pull Butcher down into a feverish kiss. His mouth met yours with as much passion. You both shuffle to the edge of the pull-out bed, and you push Butcher backward. He falls back easily, letting you take the lead. You go to remove your dress when Butcher places his hands on yours and assists you in pulling it over your head. Once the garment was removed, you straddle Butcher and continue kissing him with the same fiery passion as before, his hands roaming all over your exposed form. You sit up and rock your hips against his, generating some friction for your needy core. Locking eyes with him, you see that Butcher's hazel iris is now covered by his pupils, eyes entirely covered in black. After a few more hip gyrations, Butcher pulls you back down to kiss you. He poured everything into the kiss, tongues, and teeth clashing. You pull away from Butcher and help him lower his sweatpants. Once free, you grab ahold of his throbbing cock and pump it a few times then line it up to your core, rubbing the tip along your slit. Butcher moans. As you sank down on him, you feel your cunt stretch to take all of him in. Once at full hilt, you take a moment to pause to get used to feeling him inside you again. Butcher sat up and rubbed your cheek with his thumb, wiping a few tears you didn’t realize were falling.

“I’ve missed you luv.” Butcher said as he stared into your eyes. It was as if he was looking into your soul, searching for something. You leaned forward and gave him a soft kiss on his lips as you began moving yourself on his cock. Butcher groaned, wrapping one hand around the back of your head and wrapped the other around your waist. The two of you moved in sync, you grind your hips to meet his light thrusts, gasps and moans filling the apartment. You feel the coil in your belly begin to tighten, Butcher felt it too. He then flips the two of you over to where you’re lying on your back and he’s positioned above you, grabbing your legs to wrap around his waist. He buried his head in the crook of your neck as he began to quicken his pace.

“Billy, don’t’ stop… I’m close.” You pant. Butcher takes his right hand and begins to rub circles around your clit, which pushed you over the edge. Butcher follows shortly after, spilling his cum into you with a roar. The two of you lay on the bed, fighting to catch your breath. After a few moments, you get up from the bed to get dressed. Looking for your dress under the bed, Butcher reaches his hand out and gently places it on top of yours. You look up at him and he says,

“Stay with me.” The internal struggle was real at this moment. Your brain tells you to leave, that this man was no good, but you loved Butcher. In the end, your heart won the battle, and you climbed in next to Butcher, snuggling up next to his side. Butcher whispered sweet nothings into your ear, promising you all the things that he said he would do from now on, and that he loved you. Silence fell between you. Just before Butcher fell asleep, you said,

“You know, Annie was proud of me for getting out. She’s gonna be pissed to hear that we’re back together.” Butcher turns his head to look at you.

“What’re you gonna tell her?”

“Oh, I dunno… maybe that I tripped and fell into your bed.” the two of you chuckle before falling into a restful sleep.

#the boys #billy butcher #the boys amazon #karl urban #billy butcher x reader #mothers milk #kimiko the boys #the boys series #william butcher #annie january #billy butcher fanfic #billy butcher x you #billy butcher imagine #billy butcher x y/n #Youtube

[hanasnx]

too bad i forget.

MINORS DNI 18+ NOTES: takes place during s2e2 where annie, abed, and troy break into a lawyers office | not sure how i feel about this bcos it was stuck in my head and i felt like i was trying to fit too many things in but whatevs

“You guys!” you exclaim, stamping your foot in frustration. “I’m the smartest one in the group and all I’ve been used for is bait and distraction.” With each angry bounce in place—conveying your mini temper tantrum as you complain—you hadn’t realized your chest rippled from the impacts of your stomps until their eyes drifted and remained there. Both Troy and ABED NADIR watch your curves move under the thin material of your form-fitting dress, and you scoff in offense. Your arms cross over, veiling your cleavage and breaking their trance. Finally, they meet your gaze as you frown at them. It’s humiliating enough to be looked at like a piece of meat, but you would’ve never expected that behavior from Abed.

A little later, it furthers still when you lift a box of files to prop open the door. Your little heels don’t stay under you when you crouch, sliding to a sit on the floor with your legs folded out on either side of you, and your ass jiggles from your firm landing. Embarrassed, you squeak, and whirl your head around to face the boys, checking if they caught your blunder. Troy has his back turned, but Abed’s unabashedly watching. His eyes follow the deep arch of your back, how your ass fans out sat against the floor, your smooth legs tucked in a most exquisite way. It shocks you enough to idle as he tilts his head. Only when you scramble up, face hot and deeply colored, does Abed return to his task of searching the computer for evidence. Hastily, you dust off your outfit, and make sure it’s not exposing more than it already was. Briefly, you remember the way he scanned you, and you feel a disappointment you didn’t let that linger a little longer.

You and Abed aren’t a thing, but you know how upset he sounded when he heard Jeff had kissed you that night, after the dance. The big reveal right in that study room had him practically storm out after verbalizing Jeff’s blatant disregard for human decency. It was mortifying to say the least, you’d never seen Abed so upset. His voice had a subtle edge that you may have never noticed if you didn’t spend so much time with him. Additionally, there was that one time that Pierce had described you and Britta as—what he believed to be—your most identifying features: one of you was “flat-ass” and the other was “the one Abed wants to nail.” One million questions had flooded your head all of them having to do with the latter. Another time was pottery class, and you hadn’t realized it in the moment, but sculpting a defined phallic shape accidentally had caught the eye of both Abed and Jeff. Running your wet hands up and down the shaft of the clay had brought them both to pensive silence as they observed your graceful movements. All this evidence kept piling up to explain Abed’s strange behavior tonight, but you keep denying it.

You keep denying it right up until you can’t take it anymore, right up until you’re back at his place, straddling him. Your lips against his, you find him oddly stiff. The kiss itself isn’t unpleasant, but you can feel his hesitance. Or maybe he’s just nervous, manifesting in rigid movements. Nevertheless, you find it appealing. A guy who gets worked up kissing strikes your fancy because you’ve always imagined yourself as the one to take it slow. It’s refreshing that he’s beating you to it. Your dress is cascaded over his pelvis, and his head is propped up on the armrest of his couch. Sweetly, he’s returning your kiss the best of his ability, even parting your lips with his when he slips you a glimpse of tongue.

You pull away to speak, but he interrupts your path. “Did I not do it right?” he asks, but his tone is characteristically devoid of concern. Instead, it’s calculative, as if he’s been measuring your enjoyment inside his head and is surprised to have been incorrect just now.

“Oh, you’re doing fine.” you reply with a relieved grin, clutching onto the front of his shirt. “I just wanted to say…” You lean down, pecking his willing lips. “you could… you know, touch me a little.” Those hands of his have been faithfully laying atop your thighs this entire exchange, and he glances warily down at them. So you help him. “Like this.” You palm the backs of his hands and gently glide them along your body, riding up your dress as they come to sit at the space right above your ass. Searching his eyes, you can see a glint of enthusiasm pass through them, and then those curious hands invite themselves to take a generous grope of your backside, incidentally rutting your core against the crotch of his jeans. You exhale, disbelief mixed with pleasure, and you could predict he was gonna say he saw this move in a movie once. Didn’t give him the chance though, pressing your chest against his to recapture his lips.

Strangely forward, Abed experimentally rocks you. Shallow jostles back and forth which is not at all what you expected from him. It’s unnerving until a twang slips from his lips, “Gonna ride me like a cowgirl tonight, huh?”

It becomes clear. You can tell he’s getting nervous treading into unknown territory, and falling back on a reference you don’t understand playing a character you don’t know is a way to diffuse that. “This is not a movie, Abed.” you chide.

“Sorry.”

#indy: drabbles #ch: abed #abed nadir drabble #abed nadir x reader #abed nadir x fem reader #abed nadir x you #abed nadir x y/n #abed nadir imagine #abed nadir fic #abed nadir fanfic #abed nadir fanfiction #community smut #community x reader #community imagine #community fic #community fanfiction

[hopelesslyromanticshark]

✧˖°. IF ONLY I COULD WAKE YOU UP - iii

content: I PRESENT TO YOU MY CROWNING JEWEL MY MASTERPIECE THIS IS MY MONA LISA YALL I CANNOT SCREAMINGGGGGGG

percy had sent out a totally not passive aggressive message that the boys would be leaving from his place at twelve, so be there if you wanted to wish them off. you had a negative desire to go and see leo for the first time since...well, the shit hit the fan, but annabeth had stopped by your apartment and bribed you with an iced coffee. look, every girl's got her breaking point, okay? anyways, you guys pulled up to percy's apartment, from which he was blaring 'hawaiian roller coaster ride' and 'queen of the beach' while wearing a fugly hawaiin button up shirt, muttering something about summer saving his soul or whatever.

"your boyfriend, annie," you taunted annabeth, taking a pointed sip of your coffee as she laughed, shoving at your shoulder.

"and that one's yours," she shot back, nodding her head at leo, who had just pulled his suitcase from jason's car only for it to spill open, as he hadn't zipped it close. you flushed, glaring at annabeth and bumping your shoulder with hers.

"not yet."

"ah! you said 'yet,' as in, 'it will happen eventually!," annabeth squealed, pointing at you, deepening your blush as you smacked at her with wild hands.

"go be a smartie pants somewhere else!' you hissed, walking away with a shake of your head. you had great intentions of walking into percy's apartment to steal a capri sun but you paused as you walked passed leo attempting to shove his clothes back into his suitcase. you sighed quietly to yourself and mentally pulled your big girl pants on, kneeling on the sidewalk beside him and helping. his eyes instantly darted to you and softened, which you didn't see as you helped return his clothes to his suitcase.

"hey," leo breathed out, like it took his breath away to say the word. you glanced up, offering him a soft upward turn of your lips.

"hey," you whispered back, intending to pull your eyes away but you couldn't seem to. gods, you loved his honey brown eyes, you felt trapped in them like a fly in those sticky traps. and honesty? you'd die to stay close.

"i-im sorry about travis," stated leo, squeezing his eyes shut as you returned your eyes to his suitcase. wishing he hadn't opened his stupid, big mouth.

"im sorry about...ya know," you shot back, shrugging, as you realized you were just parroting the boy.

"eh, it's for the best," leo said as you but your lip, fiddling with one of his shirts.

"yeah, i think so, too," you replied, trying to keep your breathing even at your bold statement. leo raised a brow at your comment, opening his mouth to say something but you cut him off by holding up a pair of his boxers, that looked like the texas flag, proudly written in bold letters on the left leg were the words 'everything's bigger in texas.'

"cute."

"shut up!" he groaned, snatching them from you and shoving them into his suitcase. you were giggling on the sidewalk outside percy's apartment and leo was certain he'd never heard a more beautiful sound. he was shaking his head, but unable to keep the smile that only you ever managed to pull from him taking over his lips

"what- what really makes them is that fact that they say everything is bigger in texas," you managed to get out between your giggles, beaming a smile at the boy, who rolled his eyes as he zipped his suitcase shut.

"that's because everything is bigger in texas," winked leo as he stood up, the blush that shot up to your cheeks not something he missed. he then held his hands out to you and you smiled, grasping them like it was second nature, letting him pull you off the nasty sidewalk.

"thanks for the help," he said once you were standing and you could tell he wanted to say more, words sitting on the edge of his tongue. but you were scared, truthfully, so you dropped his hands and took a few steps back.

"of course. what are friends for...right?"

those words left your mouth like bullets and you regrated them instantly. you never wanted more in your life to swallow your words.

"right. friends," leo repeated, nodding his head and looking away from you. both of you were suddenly aware of the fact that friends dont care about each other in the way you do, friends dont think about each other in the way you do, friends just dont. once more, leo opened his mouth, words like 'love' and 'dates' eager to fall from his mouth but then jason was throwing and arm around his shoulders and frank was taking his suitcase and shoving it into the trunk of percy's car.

"woooooo, boy's trip! no stinky girl's invited!" percy whooped only to instantly be silenced by the look annabeth gave him, "my apologies, wise girl."

"damn straight," mused annabeth, nodding her head in content as percy pressed a kiss to her cheek.

"okay, okay, final goodbyes. then in to the car and off to da beach!!" percy cheered, squeezing annabeth in a tight hug.

"hey, could you record that econ lecture for me?" jason asked as he gave you a quick hug and you nodded your head.

"course. you want me to record the bio one too?" you offered and jason was nodding his head as frank patted your back as he passed, nodding at you with a minor salute before hopping into the car. jason thanked you, following frank into the car, leaving leo in his wake.

"you...you have fun, okay?" you told leo, holding your arms wide for hug, knowing you shouldn't as it wouldn't help with your broken heart, but you couldn't stop yourself. without a second thought, leo was wrapping his arms around you and shoving his face into your shoulder.

"i- i...i'll see you when we get back, i guess," leo muttered into your shoulder and you squeezed your eye shut, wishing he'd said something else. anything else, but preferably a confession of some sorts.

"of course. you know, i'd wait for you."

"i know...im sorry but i cant go another day-"

"leo, come on, man!" frank shouted as percy laid on his horn, a clear sign for leo to finish.

"we'll talk when you get back, leo," you told him, shoving him off you as his hands didn't seem to want to leave. leo nodded, but even then he didn't seem happy with the compromise as he finally got into the car.

you stood with the other girls, waving the boys off, your arms wrapped around yourself. and you had a sinking feeling that you had just wished what could have been the love of you life off. gods, what you wouldn’t give for him to just call you up.

leo sat in the car, his head leaned back against the headrest, watching the new york skyscrapers turn into montauk beaches. and he regretted every opportunity he had to tell you how he felt and didn't. he wanted nothing more than to call you up, slipping his guts over the phone and waiting with baited breath for you to reply in a similar manner, but as they inched closer to their destination, he watched the bars on his phone drop, his chance slipping through his fingers, in miles per hour.

✶⋆.˚ taglist: @ivyy-covered-walls @puffoz @brodieland @sunshine-of-ur-life @literallyimthenerdemoji @aezuria @pro-oddity @imasimpdealwithit @shimas-things12 @butterandhoneytoast @rlqfpdl @daniskywalkersolo @pumpkinbxtch @mayo-0-o @hannenomical @eliseisclinicallyinsane @ellipsisspelled @percys-princess @aryxchse @vodkori @seaweedpuff301 @defnotfertilizedtoesw @annybah @riordanness @balletfilmss @meerpea @ssparksflyy @simha-nakshatra

#𐙚⋆｡°✩ everythings alright when she calls me back #all my love ౨ৎ #leo valdez x reader #leo valdez #pjo smau #smau #hoo

[messedupfan]

The Hope of a Free World: The Prologue

Summary: It's the last night of the Victory Tour for Katniss and Peeta and you are expected to attend the social event of the year at President Snow's mansion.

A/n: Hello! Sorry that this has taken so long to get out! I had so many ideas when it came to this request. The other two parts aren't quite ready but I hope that y'all enjoy this start!

Masterlist | All Stories Taglist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You are threading your coin through your fingers and sigh. Things in the districts were beginning to get restless as rumors of an uprising began to spread. Ever since two teenagers from Twelve defied the Capitol and refused to play by the rules of their game. In the name of love, they claimed. It didn’t matter to those in the districts. You found it to be a bold move by the star-crossed lovers of District 12. But anyone paying attention can see that the girl was acting out of survival instincts and defiance. Not out of pure love for the boy she seemed to hardly know. 

“The train to the Capitol will be here soon,” Finnick says as he knocks your feet off of his coffee table as he adjusts his cufflinks. “You need to get ready and preferably stop crashing on my sofa. You have your own house, remember?” He stops at an extravagant mirror that hangs on the wall to adjust his collar. 

You sigh again, “I made a promise to stop drinking excessively. I can’t do that and be alone over there. Besides if I recall, Annie said I can crash here as often as I please.” 

“Wanda is lucky she only has to deal with you a couple of times a year,” he gripes as he double checks his appearance. “Get dressed, now,” he shook his head because you were still sitting on the couch, moving your coin through your fingers. It was your token in the Hunger Games. This was a coin that your father made you when you were a kid. It was a silver medallion meant to be worn on a chain. But you haven’t worn it in years because you rather fiddle with it whenever you are nervous. On the face of the medallion is a trident rising out of thin silver waves. A blue abalone shell provides a naturally patterned ocean blue background. Your father was very skilled with making jewelry. You were excited to return home from your Games to share your wealth with him and buy him all of the material he could only dream of. But, because of your minor rebellious actions in the Games, he was taken from you. By President Snow. 

Not the man himself, of course, but he gave the order. 

“Okay, okay,” you grumble as you stand up from the couch. “You know, I think Annie lets me stay over because I’m the closest thing to a child the two of you will ever have.” 

Finnick shakes his head with a laugh, “You might be right.” Even though you weren’t much younger than Finnick and Annie, they took you under their wing. They knew exactly what you were going through when you lost your father. Finnick knew better than anyone when you turned eighteen and Snow first arranged for you to meet with a customer. The mistake you had made was keeping in touch with your friends and falling for someone. Snow threatened their lives and their families lives if you refused to show the customer a good time. None of them deserved to die for your mistakes. Or worse, be turned into Avoxes. The tongueless slaves to the Capitol. 

In no time at all, you are on the train to the Capitol. For the past couple of years, you were typically giddy about getting a trip to the Capitol. It meant that you could visit with Wanda. But with talks about an uprising, you wanted to focus on that more than anything. A successful uprising could mean freedom from the segregation of the districts and the oppression of President Snow. Freedom from the Games. Most importantly, it could mean the freedom to love. You never saw yourself falling as hard as you have for someone from the Capitol but Wanda has a certain way about her. Beyond the enchanting green eyes and the vibrant red wig, which she wore to blend in with the Capitol culture. She was a person. She had opinions and interesting ideas. She hated the Games as much as anyone in the districts does. 

“Keep your focus, you’ll be able to see your girl tonight,” Finnick whispered into your ear as the train came to a stop. You roll your shoulders and smooth out your clothing as you stand in front of the exit of the train. Katniss and Peeta had been in District 4 only a few days ago for their Victory Tour and tonight was the final night of their tour. It was going to end with a massive party in President Snow’s mansion and every victor that could be sold was expected to be in attendance. Especially since this year’s victors could not be auctioned off as they have been in the past. 

As you are escorted to a vehicle there are screens everywhere airing footage of Peeta on one knee in front of Katniss. You shook your head. They were smart to get engaged so publicly.  You predict that lot of your clients will be so bummed that they can’t have a night with either of them. It could hurt the government and raise a lot of questions if it ever came out that Katniss or Peeta were ever spotted spending time with someone else. Though, you are certain that there are plenty of people that will still try to spend a night with either of them or even both of them once they have turned eighteen. You just hope that the government is overthrown before that can happen. Thankfully, on this trip, you’re not expected to see anyone until the event. So you don’t have to worry about hearing creepy rich guys complain about how they can’t be the ones to deflower the girl on fire. You know exactly where you’ll be spending your night. 

“I think I know who I’m bidding on,” Wanda whispered in your ear from behind you. Her warm breath tickled your skin and warmed your heart as you closed your eyes to bask in the feeling for a moment. 

“Now, now, Ms. Maximoff,” you say as you step back and turn around to get a look at her. Most women in the Capitol opted for frilly dresses, something to accentuate their womanly curves, or hide the lack of them under layers and layers of thick fabric with outlandish designs. Wanda, however, succeeded in showing off her attributes in a simple yet stylish red and black suit with a black turtle neck. The black on her suit sat on the notch lapels of her coat. It looked as though there was a darkness from inside that was spilling out onto the solid blood red that made up the rest of her suit. She also wore a gold necklace with a gold coin on it. You’ve never seen this one before. You frown as you pick it up to observe it, she hasn’t bought jewelry for herself in years. She was usually gifted jewelry and it was never as simple as this. As you move it in the light, an image of the Mockingjay appears. “That’s quite a piece right there.” You look around and notice all of the memorabilia and cheap merchandise of that bird that decorated the event on both the walls, tables, and even the guests. 

“Like it?” Wanda asks as she leans in. “It’s one of a kind,” she winks. 

You smirk as you adjust the gold coin on her chest. “Very fitting for you, Ms. Maximoff.” You wink. There was a reason this Mockingjay was hidden in plain sight but you weren’t going to ask standing in a heavily monitored event. 

Wanda blushes, “You flatter me too much.” You’re about to ask where you could get something of your own when music announcing President Snow’s appearance cuts the conversation short. Every person that was inside of the mansion filtered out the back doors to give their full attention to the President as he addressed the attendees. You didn’t care too much for the speech when you noticed Finnick slipping away with the 75th Hunger Games head gamemaker, Plutarch Heavnsbee. You narrowed your eyes as you finished the rest of your mocktail. Wishing that you could’ve had alcohol inside. 

That night, you didn’t follow them. You didn’t ask questions. You simply made polite conversation with the guests of honor as well as the other guests while making a mental note of everyone of your fellow victors that you’ve noticed disappear throughout the event. The absence that worried you the most was Wanda’s. You were certain she would have taken you home with her. Luckily, when you went to find out who did win the bidding war for your company, you were relieved to be informed that Ms. Maximoff was waiting for you at her home. 

You didn’t ask Wanda where she disappeared off to when she finally slipped through the shadows and joined you in the bed. You kept your thoughts to yourself in the morning as you committed the details of being with her to your memory. Every freckle and beauty mark that was spread about on her body. Every kiss she placed on yours. Every taste. Every caress. The way her enchanting green eyes made you dream of a brighter future as you gazed into them. You memorized the way her breath changed as she got closer and closer to her climax. Her light giggles when you made a joke and kissed behind her ear. This wasn’t a meeting that you needed to numb yourself from. You wanted to be here between her warm silk sheets, memorizing the way she fit perfectly in your arms as she sat between your legs. Locking all of it away in a place close to your heart for you to use the next time you have to be with someone else. 

“Wanda I,” you sighed where you sat at the edge of her bed as you got ready to leave her. She crawled up to you and wrapped her body around you as she hushed you.

“Don’t say it,” she whispered against your ear as she kissed your neck. “I know.” You nodded and melted in her embrace for a moment before you finished getting ready. Her time was almost up and the Peacekeepers were very punctual. 

It was noon when you kissed her goodbye just as a Peacekeeper knocked lightly on the door to escort you to the vehicle that is going to deliver you to the train you’ll take home. You hated when Peacekeepers picked you up in the Capitol. They were so polite it made you sick. It was unfair. They were meant to keep the peace but often they could be the opposite in the districts. According to your father, that’s how you lost your mother. She was bartering with a Peacekeeper that was trying to lowball her. She refused and that made the officer unhappy. He had every Peacekeeper in Four keep a close eye on her and when she eventually slipped up, they had her executed. Your father never mentioned what she did that cost her life and you never asked. 

But when you return to District 4, you end your streak of not asking questions and you pull Finnick aside to ask him what the hell is going on.

The Tribute The Mentor

 Taglist: @princessprudy @sayah13 @agaymilflover @awkwardmandalorian @bentleywolf29 @thatshyboy1998 @artisannat @thisischaismagic @wqndanat @madamevirgo @likefirenrain @tearsofglitter @feltlikethat @the-writer-arcane @natashasilverfox @karsonromanoff @aloneodi @lovelyy-moonlight @red1culous @jovialsublimecomputer @natasha-maximoff @iliketozoneout @doudouneverte @druggedduck @notbornbutforged @when-wolves-howl @lifespectator @justyourwritter69 @wandaromamoff69 @awesomelygayasf @nekoannie-chan @diaryoflife @wuwu96 @wandanats-goodgirl @sincerely-indi @blueredg52 @sisiofthemultifandom @fuzzyuniversityeclipsefriend @arcturusseer @scarlettwidow34 @chasethemoon @raven-ss @canyonyodeler @sokovianbaby @alexawynters @bittysworld @hopeless-romantic17177 @spongebobtentacles

#wanda maximoff au #the hunger game #marvel fan fiction #fanfic fanfiction #the hunger games au #wanda maximoff #wanda fanfic #wanda marvel #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda maximoff fanfiction #wanda x y/n #wanda x you #wanda x reader #wanda maximoff x reader

[luvbugs-blog]

i heard you wanted ideas? how about the aot boys reaction to you (their s/o) greeting them after a mission? its a suggestionnnn, anyway goof luck with writing and drink plenty of water, dearest writer

I LOVE THIS. I CAN'T WAIT TO START WRITING FOR IT.

today we have: eren jeager, jean kirschein, armin alert, and levi ackerman

*hehe i thought this gif was so funny*

this was requested so long ago and i'm so sorry it took me so long. it's also kinda short, but college has been busy and i'm writing this at 12:20am on a sunday night. let me know if you like this! this was so fun to write:)

eren jeager

pacing the corridor, you wait anxiously for your boyfriend to return. as you were healing from a previous mishap on an expedition, you were forbidden to join them. but this mission had you especially nervous. not that you think eren couldn't handle it, but there were a lot of outside factors that he couldn't control.

what if his titan didn't transform when he needed it to? or what if levi lets him out of his sight and he gets kidnapped? AGAIN? you shake your head and try to rid yourself of those thoughts. he will be just fine. you find it is easier said than done. all you can think about is him. you walk towards the kitchen, hoping a class of water will be able to refresh you. you fill it up and lean on the counter, facing the wall.

it wasn't helping. you were just too nervous. you groan, laying your head on the counter.

"you good?" you whip up and turn, face breaking into a grin when you see eren standing there. you rush over to him, pulling him into a tight hug.

"y/n?" you pull away slightly, giving you a good look at his face. your hands gently cup his face.

"are you ok? you weren't hurt?" he blushes and gently pushes you away.

"of course. what's up with you?"

"i was just worried, baby. didn't want anything to happen to you while you were out." blushing harder, he turns, waving you off.

"nothing would happen to me, you're being crazy." you laugh at the boy before hugging his back.

"thanks for coming back to me, eren."

he mumbles something under his breath that you don't hear, so you let go so you can finish your glass of water.

"always."

jean kirschein

the two of you got separated in the field and you hadn't seen him since the scouts shipped out. you knew he could take care of himself, but you couldn't help but worry. after returning, you take care of your horse before setting off to find him.

but he was no where to be found and no one knew where he was. you asked everyone. eren, armin, mikasa, sasha and connie, reiner and bertolt, even annie. he wasn't with anyone. but they did mention seeing him when they returned, which let you relax a bit.

maybe the expedition was rough for him and he needed space.

buuut time went on and there was too much space. you go to his room, and knock on his door. no answer.

"jean?" you crack the door open, but he wasn't in there. where could he be?

he didn't show up to dinner either. you were able to save some food for him, despite sasha's protests. you walk back to his dorm, checking all the nooks and crannies to see if he was hiding in them, and left the food on the table beside his bed.

you wait for a second on his bed before deciding to leave. you walk out, hoping he would be walking down the hallway, but no such luck.

you couldn't think of what else you could do, so you return to your bed. you get your uniform ready for tomorrow and tuck yourself in, seeking to find comfort in the warmth of your sheets. but they were oddly cold tonight. it was going to be hard sleeping not knowing what as going on with him.

you toss and turn, but to no avail. you sigh dramatically, your head hitting the pillow. over the noise the sheets are make, you don't notice the slight knock at the door, so it startles you when the door cracks open slightly. but you are so glad it does.

"jean!" you wrench the covers off and run to the door. he falls into you as soon as you're close enough. he buries his head into your shoulder and he holds you tight to his body. you stroke the hair at his nape, whispering into his ear.

you stood there for a few minutes, but after hearing someone coming down the hallway, you pull him fully into the room, not wanting to risk being caught.

you grab his arm and lead him to your bed, laying down and just holding him. it's silent for a while until you hear his sniffle and then you hold him even closer.

"jean?"

"i'm sorry."

"for what?"

silence. you let him cry slightly, rubbing his arms until he spoke again.

"i'm not a leader. i'm not strong enough, i take advantage of our friend's deaths. i can't do it." you sigh, happy he's engaging with you, but sad that he's kept this in for so long.

"baby, do you remember what marco said?" the mention of his friend causes him to choke out a sob.

"he said that you are a great leader. and you are. you know what to do because you can relate to the others. i believe in you. and you will learn to believe in yourself. it will get easier."

he calms down slightly, his breaths starting to slow, so you continue.

"the others believe it too." trying to be comforting, you pull the covers over him, rubbing his back in the process.

after some silence, you try again.

"jean?" he gives you a small kiss on your neck, but doesn't say anything else. and neither do you. the two of you fall asleep shortly, and you are so glad that he came back safe.

armin alert

being childhood friends with armin isn't easy, considering the angry boy he was friends with. you were waiting for him to come back from a mission, as you didn't join the scouts with the three. after seeing titans massacre your friends, you choose to stay behind and help plan the missions instead. you expected armin to join you, as the two of you were at the top of your peers in the classroom. in the field, it was a different story, so you figured you would be most helpful at the base.

you weren't so confident in this mission though. erwin was weirdly secretive when planning with you, which had never happened before. he didn't tell you where eren and the levi squad would be, which was slightly alarming.

so you anxiously wait at the gate, hoping the hear the bell signaling the return of the scouts. minutes feel like hours before the gate opens again, but with much less soldiers then what they started with. your heart pounds with anxiety before spotting the blonde in the crowd standing over eren.

you push your way towards him and rake your eyes over his body searching for anything that might cause you to lose him. you do spot the wrap on his forehead, which causes a pinch in your heart.

"are you ok?" he gives you a weak smile, which you understand. you don't want to make a scene, so you just grab his hand and squeeze. you know you can talk about it later, but for now, all he wants and needs is your comfort.

levi ackerman

it was difficult being partnered with the scouts as a nurse. you barely had any time off, and any day you were given, you were pretty much immediately called in to help. scouts everyday poured in with new and horrid injuries.

it was a tough job. a lot of the time, the scouts were too wounded, either physically or mentally to continue their work outside the walls. sometimes they died. it was very hard for you to keep working, but what pushed you through was knowing that your husband was out there everyday, fighting to make the world a better place. knowing that he was the strongest soldier made you proud and you've seen him in action, so you weren't as worried when he left.

but that was something else that constantly weighed on your mind. what if one day, he's the one that needed your medical attention. what if one day, he stopped by the world's strongest? those thoughts are ridiculous though. he made a promise to always return to you and you are constantly reminded of that promise when you see the ring on your finger.

that day that he returned was a long one. broken bones, puncture wounds, infections from raw skin caused by the harnesses. same shit, different day. but you were excited. your husband was returning from an expedition today and after you clocked out, the two of you had some free time for the next few days to celebrate your anniversary. you were excited to great him once he returned home. but it wasn't you who found him first.

your friend had wandered in your office with a concussion. while you were wrapping her head and giving her the information on how to heal, the two of you start chatting. the two of you talked so long you didn't notice that your shift ended 30 minutes ago. and this didn't bode well with your husband who just wanted to be home with you.

he saunters into your office with a annoyed look on his face. you almost don't notice him because he's so quiet. but when you do, you quickly usher your friend out, reminding her to rest for a while before jumping back into any labor. you turn around after shutting the door to give the man your full attention.

"hey sweetie. how was the expedition?" he grunts and crosses his arms over his chest.

"so you care all of a sudden?" you grin, slapping his arm.

"don't be a big baby. i'm sorry i wasn't home with you came back."

he scoffed. "it's whatever." you laugh at his antics before holding onto his arm, leading him back to your home.

laying your head on his shoulder, you squeeze his arm.

"love you baby."

sigh.

"love you too."

a/n: finally finished this at 9:55pm the next day. this was so fun to write. i am currently switching between aot, op, and jjk, so if you want any lil fics, let me know:)

and i'm sorry. i totally blanked on the armin one. I'LL DO BETTER NEXT TIME I SWEAR.

everyone better be drinking water or i'll find you. have a FANTABULOUS night!

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