#both of their arcs is so important to me because their relationship with their queerness is very personal to them and me so!

[buckttommy]

Imho henren just doesn’t spark for me. They just kinda bore me and it’s okay to admit you don’t like every queer ship a show gives you.

You're right, it is 100% okay to not like every queer ship you are given. This is actually something I'm really passionate about, because it's deeply similar to the idea of recommending a piece of media based on the fact that it has queer rep and not based on what other value the media has. Both accepting a ship because it's queer and recommending a piece of media based on its queer components come with an inherent, Capitalistic demand to disregard quality in favor of quantity (i.e. "Yeah, that book is mostly porn, but at least it's got gay men in it!" or "That show is trash, but at least the queer couple is kind of cute.") So to that end I say, you are absolutely right. If Henren doesn't spark for you, it doesn't spark. There's nothing wrong with that.

The problem arises when people erase the fact that complex, meticulously crafted, realistic, healthy, and beautiful queer characters have existed on this show from the very beginning. Michael's storyline alone — a gay man who stepped into his identity later in life, despite already being married with children — was so deeply moving and impactful on its own, as was watching him develop a genuine relationship with Bobby, his ex-wife's husband. We never get stories like that on television. Someone is always left out. Someone is always hurt. Queerness is always seen as a permanent betrayal where no one gets to move on from that pain. But 9-1-1 gave us a story where these people became a unique and cohesive family, and that matters.

Henren doesn't spark for you, but the weight and significance of their existence is undeniable. For one, neither of these women are stereotyped and sexualized. Karen is the "femme" in the relationship but she's never put into clothes or situations designed to appeal to the male gaze. She is a mother, she is a wife, and she acts like one. For another, Queerness is not the sole focus of their arcs and is considered just a part of their lives like anything else. They have careers, they have a family, and yes, the cheating storyline in Season 1 reeks heavily of Ryan Murphy's homophobic ideology, but the way they chose to grow past it cannot be overstated. Stories where we get to not just live, or not just love, or not just be messy, but where we can do and be all three cannot be overstated.

So, yes, I get upset when people ignore the existence of these characters and these stories for the sake of Buck. I love Buck so deeply and, as a bisexual person who knows what it is like to realize, step into, and subsequently settle into that identity, I'm excited to see where his story takes him. But he's not the only queer character on the show, nor has he ever been, and whether you yourself are queer or not, I think we can all agree why speaking out against that particular false narrative is so important.

#jack answers mail #tv: 911

[twig-tea]

Cooking Crush ep 10: This Show Has My Whole Heart

I wrote about some of the things Cooking Crush is doing so well in my response to a recent ask, and so I'm particularly glad that episode 10 came through with a strong flourish to get us set up the last two episodes.

I wanted to call out a few specific things this episode did that are contributing to why it's working so well for me.

First, I want to mention that the reciprocity continues! Previously, we had Prem comforting Ten during a panic attack post adrenaline crash. In this episode, Ten comforts and supports Prem during his worries about Samsee and the competition.

Picking up on something else I've talked about before, this show is committed to its character's arcs. Fire is struggling with his sexuality and his desire to keep their relationship secret last episode led to the conflict between Samsee and Dynamite this episode. Fire showing up to support Dy in public, giving him affection, and using the petname Dy insisted on having is all evidence of Fy's increasing comfort with it. He's already said before he intends to tell his mother, and Dy has been clear he's not rushing him. The way Dy is so careful with Fire but also so receptive to and appreciative of what Fire is able to give warms my heart (pun intended). And Samsee and Prem seeing it and reacting supportively too, because they know what this means to their friend!

[The gifsearch is not cooperating but please enjoy this gifest by @gunsatthaphan.]

I also want to talk about how this conflict with Samsee hits Dynamite hard, and in the context of knowing he's lost relationships with his parents because of his sexuality, to think his relationship with Fire could have lost him a close friend must be bringing back up his feelings about being cut out of the lives of people he loves. However, it speaks to the strength of his bond with Samsee that even though Samsee is furious and not speaking with him, he does not kick Dy out of his apartment. Dy mentions that he didn't see Samsee the night before the competition because Samsee didn't come home (we find out later why, but I loved this subtle nod to the fact that unlike Dy's own parents, Samsee didn't abandon Dy when he made choices that hurt him. I AM IN MY QUEER FOUND FAMILY FEELINGS, FRIENDS).

Along these lines, Ten going to confess to Prem, noticing that these friends are having a moment, and quietly stepping away to give them space is such a good character moment for him, since previously he's been begging to be let in to their shared space even when Prem mentions he's concerned about its impact on his friends and their relationship. Ten's realizing he can't be everything for Prem, and it's better for both of them if he isn't.

That scene of reconciliation, the three friends re-establishing how important they are to one another, that got to me. And that the show prioritized it over the romance! I cannot tell you how much I love that this was an explicit decision the show made, to say 'no, this is not the time for a confession, this friendship reconciliation is more important right now'. And I love that the show gives us a solid, character-grounded reason for why Samsee reacted so strongly to being left out in the first place. We've been told Samsee has changed school majors 3 times, and it's been played as a joke as well as an explanation for why he's an older student. I love that we've now had the consequences of those changes on Samsee's friendships added to his story. Even a "joke" backstory has ramifications for the characters in this show, I am obsessed.

I also want to mention that I am loving what the show is doing with Samsee and Metha, two characters who are the "fuck-ups" of their friend groups, but who are also the most loyal and most supportive of them all. They conflict with one another around what that support looks like, even while they enable one another to continue to be the best friends to their respective besties.

Prem has struggled this entire show to use his words, and in particular he's visibly wrestled with how he can gracefully reject Chef Changma without putting his own career at risk. In this episode he manages to say 'I don't think that [a hug] would be a good idea', and he's ignored. Ten immediately steps in, but I wanted to highlight how big a deal it is for Prem to have said no to this Chef--who he's idolized, who is his mentor, and who is a judge of the competition he's in--in this moment.

When we do get to the confession, Prem continues to lead with action, and Ten continues to push him to use his words. I love so much that Ten never lets him get away with copping out of saying the words, since it's something we know Prem struggles so much with. This speaks to @lurkingshan's earlier post about how Cooking Crush shows us its leads are better thanks to their relationship (in the same way that Fire self-actualizing and being more free to be himself and express affection also speaks to this point).

Beyond character arcs, there's one other thing I am very excited for heading into episode 11 next week, and that's the conflicts in this show converging so brilliantly. So far, the show has set up a few conflicts: Ten's relationship with his father, the cooking competition, the bullies, Fire's relationship with his mother, and Chef Changma's interest in Prem. All of these have now been queued up to expertly converge as a single conflict in ep 11, based on the preview. With Changma's advance and subsequent punch being recorded and distributed (I'm placing bets that this was recorded by one of the bullies, btw), Ten's father once again steps in the way of this relationship that he sees as a detriment to his son. Prem also previously stated that he wanted to enter the competition in order to prove to Ten's dad that he has potential, so these threads were already starting to come together weeks ago. Even if I'm wrong about the bullies having been the ones to record that video, they're sitll in the competition as competitors. And of course Fire has promised Dy he'd come out after the competition, tying the last thread of these conflicts all together around this single event.

And this is what I mean when I say the writing on this show is so good. Because the characters are coherent and consistent and have clear arcs, and the conflicts are grounded in the characters, even though there are several threads, they come together easily and in a way that makes perfect sense and that work with the character arcs rather than against them.

The last thing I'll mention, because it's something I actually brought up as a negative to this show previously, is the use of non-linear storytelling. Cooking Crush has used non-linear storytelling several times, showing us a scene and then flashing back to what happened before that scene in order to fill in the gaps. This can be an effective storytelling tool, but it has to accomplish something in the narrative. The difference between unnecessary and excellently-deployed non-linear storytelling is whether or not there's a good answer to this question: What is the purpose of delaying this information to the audience, and how does that delay affect the audience understanding of what they're seeing? In previous instances, for example the kiss and then flashback to the full date, knowing that Ten and Prem kissed at the end of their date didn't add anything to the viewing experience of watching their date, and having seen their date didn't change my experience of the kiss. This is why I consider it an ineffective use of that technique.

In episode 10, however, we get the cold open that shows Ten joining Prem and Samsee in the competition, and then we flash back. Knowing Ten will be joining Prem and Dynamite in the competition helps to colour what we see about Prem and Dy trying to get Samsee to reconcile with them, as well as Samsee's absence. When we get to Ten stepping in, we have learned it was as much a surprise (and disappointment) to Prem and Dy as it was to us. Ten stepping in doesn't actually work, but it does give Prem the courage to ask if they can compete as a duo, rather than just letting themselves be disqualified without a fight. And we later find out that Samsee was so touched by the letter that he went to his hometown to dig for prawns and that's why he was late for the competition. [I also wanted to mention this because based on @respectthepetty's roundup post it sounds like the cold open was cut for the youtube version]

I lied, I have one more actual last thing, this one is obvious but I can't not say it: THANK YOU to this show for consistently queueing up the typical miscommunication fumbles that get so annoying in every BL (in most romance plots of any sexuality) and then saying NOT TODAY SATAN and having the characters choose vulnerability and honesty and bravery, and talking it out. Every time the show does this (and it's at least 2x per episode, no exaggeration) I feel a little more faith in romance writing restored.

ANWAY, TL;DR Cooking Crush continues making me so happy every week!

#cooking crush #bl meta #long post #typed so that I can stop thinking it #sorry y'all i am so obsessed with the details about this show #everything that makes it feel normal to everyone else is what is making it feel extraordinary to me

[percheduphere]

So...Thoughts on the whole people thinking Sylvie is Aro-Ace? I can kinda see her being Aromantic, but with her mentioning she's more "hedonistic" than Loki and silently hinting that she's Bi too, can't really see her as Asexual. But what do you think?

LET'S TALK ABOUT SYLVIE'S SEXUALITY, HER RELATIONSHIPS WITH LOKI AND MOBIUS, & HER CONTRIBUTIONS TO THE SERIES NARRATIVE

Before I answer this, I think it's important to acknowledge that fictional characters exist for people's comfort and pleasure. I write original fiction, and I would hope that most artists believe in the right of the audience to interpret character to meet their personal needs. To me, canon is a sandbox. Everyone should play with it as they please and not hate on each other. There are more important things in life to worry about. Therefore, if Sylvie reads as Aro-Ace to you and that reading brings you joy, then she is.

This question inherently requires the need to talk about Sylki in this post. I predominantly analyze Lokius, so please, no hate! My number one rule is never yucking someone's yum. Furthermore, Sylvie plays a critical role in Loki's development and the philosophical thrust of the series, of which Mobius also contributes to as the other half of Loki's character arc equation (selflessness and sparing life [Mobius] + free will and revolution [Sylvie]). It would be biased and disingenuous to not acknowledge her contributions to the overarching narrative.

ARO-ACE INTERPRETATION

All right, your question! I can definitely can see Sylvie as being aro-ace. That's a legitimate interpretation based on how she responds to Loki's flirtation and romantic advances. It is also possible that she's an aromantic bisexual. This second possibility is more likely based on the text the audience is given.

THE CANON TEXT

Having said that, I think you're curious about what the source material is trying to say about Sylvie's character and how that influences her sexuality. I believe it's important to remember that external behavior doesn't dictate how someone defines themselves. Closeting and disengagement from intimacy because of trauma are prime examples of this.

The train scene in S1E4 reads as earnest. Loki and Sylvie are both very lonely characters. In this moment, both are trying to connect with someone who finally understands them because they are the same. It's actually a lovely nod to the queer experience.

The dialogue, lighting, and costuming (blue, purple, pink) in this scene communicates they are both queer, specifically bisexual. The lighting and costuming combining to represent the bisexual pride flag is an example of queer subtext in film. The dialogue, while direct, is also written in such a way that it avoids explicitly stating "men and women." Sylvie later comments that the brief flings she indulges in during apocalypses helped her "keep going". She even specifies that apocalypses make people desperate. This suggests that Sylvie likely didn't need to do much wooing or charming like Loki would to obtain a sexual partner. Finally, the way Tom and Sophie play this scene is vulnerable. I therefore believe we can take this on-screen admission at face value.

So the question becomes, why does Sylvie respond to Loki's flirtations the way she does?

SYLVIE'S BACKGROUND

Sylvie was orphaned and forced to run all her life from a very young age. Her backstory is deeply tragic. To live in such a way means that she never had the opportunity to experience adolescence.

NOTE: This is honestly my favorite gif of Sylvie. She's so sweet and cute when she's happy. I can't get over the 5 stars on her employee badge. "Sylvie, can you refill the straws?" "Already did it!" The sweetheart.

Sylvie working at McDonald's accomplishes two things: it allows Disney to fulfill their advertising sponsorship agreement for the fast-food franchise, and it subtly alludes to Sylvie's need to live the adolescence she didn't get to. The TVA forced her into arrested development. She never had the chance to make friends and safely socialize on her own terms. The centuries of trauma have made trust, let alone romance, completely foreign to her.

Which is why, when Loki and Sylvie have romantic scenes, she is often awkward or, if not unreceptive, wary. Her previous flings, as she agrees with Loki, were "never real". Physical intimacy without emotional intimacy is a familiar dynamic for both characters. Their relationship with one another is their first experience of emotional intimacy (or at least attempt at it) outside of their families. The pursuit of this emotional intimacy feels safe to them because they are the same entity and thus they know each other's base nature (versus nurture!) to some degree.

The difference between them is that Sylvie has not experienced social rejection in the way Loki has (nurture!). She recognizes the wrongness with which the TVA has treated her. She knows the absolute atrocities the TVA has committed. She is determined to destroy them to free herself and all timelines. Sylvie is consequently more self-assured, more confident in what she wants and believes in, than Loki. In S2, Sylvie's clarity on desire is what allows her to help Loki articulate what he wants: his friends back, most especially Mobius.

In S1E1, Loki, still posturing before Mobius, describes himself as a "liberator". At this point in the story, we know that isn't true, but it will become true by the finale. This line of dialogue foreshadows Loki's trajectory as well as Sylvie's revealed motivation in S1E4: to liberate.

THE NEXUS EVENT

There are a variety of ways for viewers to interpret what exactly the Nexus Event was. The canon, within the text of Mobius's dialogue and verbal confirmation from the creators, is that Loki and Sylvie fell in love. Now, I'm not going to spend time arguing over other interpretations here, but I will say that regardless of whatever pairing or OT3 a viewer ships, the Nexus Event was ALSO definitively this: two Lokis in the same place, at the same time, not feeling lonely together.

And Sylvie, who had confessed to Loki she has no friends and has never really experienced joy, answers Renslayer with the number of positive memories she has:

Sylvie doesn't state it outright, but the subtext is clear that her one positive memory was her time with Loki on Lamentis. Indeed, moments later, Sylvie prunes herself in an effort to find and rescue him.

SYLVIE & MOBIUS

But being the harshly pragmatic individual she is, upon arrival and encountering Alioth, Sylvie assumes Loki didn't make it. I don't think Sylvie means what she says in a cruel way. I think she believes this because she is accustomed to disappointment and accordingly guards herself with cynicism. Sylvie's traumas, her difficulty with trust, her inexperience with intimate relationships, and her cynicism all combine to create an individual who may appear aro-ace when that may not necessarily be the case. Please note, however, that Sylvie being aro-ace or aro-bisexual may still be a possibility. My analysis here is based on what the text and subtext seem to be telling us about her character.

Notably, it is Mobius who is more optimistic about Loki's survival, wondering if Sylvie truly believes that Loki is dead.

This moment is brief, but it is significant because Mobius's optimism implies that not only does he believe in Loki, he also wants Loki to be alive. Sylvie is intelligent. She can read between the lines. We can also assume an off-screen conversation took place between them that confirmed for Sylvie Mobius's genuine care for Loki. When Sylvie informs Loki of this fact, I believe we get this:

Mobius was conservative in how Loki might interpret their relationship, extending a handshake before their goodbyes. Loki, on the heels of his conversation with Sylvie, chooses to hug him instead. The result: Mobius is delighted!

I've long pondered on why Mobius would say, "You're my favorite" to Sylvie. I believe this is why: she helped along their friendship and opened the gates for physical affection between them. This demonstrates that Sylvie cares enough for Loki to ensure he is secure in his bond with Mobius. It likely helped that Mobius did not deny the TVA's evil when she pointed it out to him, and that he did not hesitate to apologize to her for it.

Ironically, it is Mobius's optimism, especially in the potential of broken things to become something better (whether it is Loki himself or the TVA), that creates the fraught philosophical divide between Sylvie and Mobius (and Loki) with regards to the TVA in S2.

THE S1 FINALE

The S2 finale is where the narrative between Loki and Sylvie turns, and the plot pivots to the deepening relationship between Loki and Mobius. Triggering this event is Loki's desire to slow down and think about the consequences of killing HWR in the Citadel at The End of Time.

This may seem out-of-character at first glance. S1E1-E4 have demonstrated that Loki's decision making is sometimes chaotic by virtue of impulse. What was the last impulsive decision he made with heavy consequences?

He ran off after Sylvie. A good decision ultimately, as Loki learns the truth about the TVA through Sylvie, but only by luck. This decision very nearly cost Loki a friendship, one he didn't even realize he had until Mobius called him a "bad friend."

Despite the fallout, Mobius recovers relatively quickly once he confirms Loki's claims and views Ravonna's recording of C-20. He reestablishes trust with Loki as soon as possible to help Loki be with the one he loves. Why? Because Mobius is ultimately selfless and wants Loki's happiness regardless of his own feelings of jealousy.

Which circles us back to the theme of trust and Sylvie's challenges with it.

Loki and Sylvie's relationship falls apart not because of lack of mutual interest, but because Sylvie loses trust in Loki and with good reason: HWR (and thus the TVA) is the cause of all her suffering.

It is not Sylvie's fault she is this way. She hasn't had enough time to develop meaningful relationships, and the one relationship that was meaningful to her (Loki's) became, in her eyes, a profound betrayal. This experience only adds to the other traumas Sylvie carries with her, making encounters with Loki in S2 emotionally difficult if not triggering.

The relationships of Loki & Sylvie and Loki & Mobius are intentionally set side-by-side for 3 critical reasons:

1.) To demonstrate Loki's growth by developing trust and thus emotional intimacy with others.

2.) To create the Plot B emotional source of conflict in S2.

3.) To set-up Mobius and Sylvie's individual beliefs and values (selflessness and sparing life [Mobius] + free will and revolution [Sylvie]), which Loki combines into his own system of beliefs and values. This combination gives Loki the strength and wisdom to ascend the throne and become the God of Stories (and Time).

THE S2 FINALE

Loki comes to his final decision after speaking with the two halves of his character arc equation. Loki first seeks out Mobius, who shares with him the distinction between himself and Ravonna. Now, this is brainwashed Mobius. Brainwashed Mobius believed Ravonna could do the impossible while he couldn't. But Loki knows Ravonna's corruption.

Beneath Mobius's wisdom that "most purpose is more burden than glory" is also Mobius's heart: he could not prune children and that instinct was the right decision. His "failure" was not a failure of duty but rather his humanity succeeding despite the brainwashing. It's this same intrinsic compassion that drove Mobius to convince Ravonna to spare Loki. Loki articulates this to Don as such. He therefore takes the message of selflessness and sparing life from Mobius to Sylvie.

Sylvie, in turn, challenges Loki, stating they should have the freedom and right to fight whatever comes on their own terms.

She also stresses that it is all right to destroy things. Upon hearing this, Loki comes to the conclusion that what is destroyed must be replaced with something better. What needs to be destroyed? Not the TVA and the people in it (not Mobius, Verity, OB, and Casey), but the Loom.

Loki sacrificed himself (selflessness + sparing life [Mobius]) in order to save all timelines (free will + revolution [Sylvie]). Loki sparing Sylvie's life is a direct consequence of Mobius having fought to spare his.

Through this sacrifice, Loki gifts Sylvie the chance to get the type of positive experiences she wants and needs, which includes future romance, if she so chooses. That is canon and is a genuinely romantic gesture regardless of anyone's interpretation of mutual reciprocation or lack thereof.

It is also canon that Loki loves Mobius and Mobius loves Loki. Their actions for one another across both seasons demonstrate this to be true. Is it also romantic? Absolutely. Is it sexual? On screen, no, and it doesn't have to be. Romance does not require sex, let alone physical contact, to exist.

Loki loves them both.

#loki #sylvie #loki series #loki meta #my meta #loki season 2 #lokius #mobius #loki spoilers

[soft-tender-emotional-music]

okay say queerbaiting or milkvan endgame all you want but i have yet to see any plausible heterosexual explanation for the following

- the airport hug

he was happy to hug will in season 3 and happy to hug lucas in season 4. when the entirety of the show has made it clear that mike and will share the more profound bond (destiel iykyk) out of the party it makes no sense for him to not want to hug him- unless it’s because of his queer realisations atm

- ‘we’re friends, WE’RE FRIENDS’

um it is simply not plausible that mike clocked wills feelings enough to say this yet didn’t pick up what he was putting down in the van speech. bffr mike was absolutely on the defensive here, mans was trying to convince himself

- mike looking at eddie

you’re telling me you watched the scene in episode one where eddie has his ‘if you’re inTo baNd’ speech and still think mike isn’t a homo? he has a lil fanboy crush on eddie and none shall convince me otherwise

- mikes reaction to el kissing him and i love you too

there is no heterosexual reason for him to look so taken aback and distressed after her kiss and her saying she loves him too. the music and els face all suggest a beautiful moment of love but mikes face looks shocked completely contrasting this. esp contrasted against his face at ‘what if you wanna join another party’ and considering his face when he hugs karen at the end of s3. up till then he had made no effort to try and rekindle their relationship but still wanted to see her and talk to her while she was away. ur gonna look at me and ur gonna tell me that i’m wrong

- ‘i care for you so much’

yes i understand that some people have trouble saying i love you- as we see with nancy and steve. bUt the way this is framed in this scene makes it feel queer. he is deflecting he says he cares for her but can’t say he loves her. this is why i’m a gay mike truther this feels like he’s trying so hard to be someone he’s not but he’s reached his limit. he can’t truly say he loves her until under so much duress and pressure. even when he first said ily in season 3 was just a slip up and significance was only given to the words through everyone else’s reactions, not mikes own reaction.

- ‘mrs byers has this new job, mikes always complaining about it’

im sure i butchered this quote but we KNOW him and el only talked on walkies because she couldn’t talk on the phone for dead of the government figuring out she was alive. this line proves mike called plenty and he can only have been calling to talk to will. while yes it is feasible that he was calling as friends, why wouldn’t he say something? leaving this revelation until the last season makes it significant, and therefore makes it romantic and queer.

- shared looks

do i even need to explain. their looks are just fucking gay. especially that one in season 3 where wills like he’s here and mike just keeps staring at him for a good while

- the emphasis on lucas and mikes friendship

they make clear in season 1 that lucas is mikes best friend by mikes convo with dustin. and in season three their status as best friends is made clear because they relate and complain to each other all the time. then WHY throughout the WHOLE show is mike and wills bond given the most focus??? season 1 will is mikes motivation, season 2 he is his priority, season 3 they have an important arc and season 4 they have ups and downs but ultimately their relationship is regarded as most important- they are the only two from the original party who have consistently been paired together. dustin and lucas were both in the hawkins crew but were always in separate groups. there is no heterosexual reason to make clear who mikes best friend js then spend 4 seasons focused on his relationship with will.

- framing

there is no heterosexual reason to frame him in a closet at the milkvan season 3 kiss. there is no heterosexual reason to put a one way sign pointing to his closet. there is no heterosexual reason to pair him and will in the closing shot alongside two other endgame couples. need i say more.

- blue and yellow

obviously this colour symbolism is undeniable at this point. whether or not ppl believe it symbolises their relationship or just their characters, it’s clear that will is yellow and mike is blue. there’s a reason we barely see green clothing or lighting. there’s a reason mikes bouquet to el had purple (her colour) but too much yellow (will). there’s a reason their flannels always have hints of the other persons colour.

- will as mikes priority

instead of coming crawling back to el for forgiveness in s3 he goes to will. he says his life started when he found el (a lie like the rest of that speech) yet when will went missing he only cared about him. all of season 2 showed that he loves will so much he wouldn’t leave his side ever.

i have many other opinions about why milkvan endgame would completely undermine so many messages of the show but yeah i’ll stop for now

#byler #stranger things #mike wheeler #will byers #mike wheeler i know what you are #st analysis #stranger things 4 #stranger things 3 #stranger things 2 #byler analysis #st symbolism #queer analysis #that boy is gay and i really believe that

[cinderella-ish]

My evolving thoughts on who Yuki should've ended up with, and fanfic's role in changing my mind

So, I want to talk about Yuki Sohma.

Yuki is the member of the main trio in Fruits Basket with whom I most identify. I have little in common with both Tohru and Kyo, and it took me several watches and read-throughs to start to understand their characters/arcs. (I love them, don't get me wrong! I just didn't fully appreciate the depth of their characters/arcs until maybe my third time through the series.)

Yuki, on the other hand, not only had many external qualities in common with me, but the way he grew mirrored some of the ways I changed in early adulthood. His arc felt true to my life, and so he was my favorite character from my first exposure to Fruits Basket.

When I started reading fanfic, I initially limited myself to canon compliant or limited canon-divergence fics, but eventually, I dipped my toes into some alternate pairings. Interestingly, while I truly can't see Tohru with anyone but Kyo, and I can only see Kyo with someone other than Tohru in very specific circumstances, Yuki seems to work with almost everyone he gets paired with. I mean, Yuki and Machi are my OTP, yet I have probably read (and bookmarked) every Yuki/Kakeru fic on Ao3, and some of the most beautiful fanfic I've ever read is Yuki/Kyo.

This confused me at first. Deeply. If Yuchi is my OTP, why do I devour every Yukeru and Yukyo fic?

Well, I think that's because Yuki's arc is, among other things, one where he rejects compulsory romance. This is made explicit in the Cinderella-ish story (why yes this is my favorite part of Fruits Basket, why do you ask?), where he quite literally rejects the role of the prince - the role that's been put onto him by others through the series. I think his arc would have been complete without him ending up with Machi, but there are things about their relationship that make his ending so much more satisfying. In stories where he ends up with Kakeru or Kyo, Machi almost always appears as an important friend for him. I think, for him, having strong bonds outside the Sohmas that he forged on his own was the point, rather than ending up in a relationship.

Anyway, with that out of the way, here are my thoughts on the five most common Yuki pairings on Ao3!

Yuki/Machi

Yes. I love them. 1000/10.

Okay, so the one criticism I have of Yuki/Machi is that Yuki is strongly gay-coded throughout the series, and it would've been awesome to see that play out in the way it was set up. I think that's a huge part of why I connected with Yuki - his arc definitely reminded me of my own experience coming to terms with my own queerness. For more on this, see this exceptional post by @yunsoh

But there are so many moments between them that make me swoon. The chalk scene, first and foremost. I used that scene to talk to my partner about how to support me when my OCD or ADHD is bad. Then there's scene where Yuki figures out why Machi destroys things, then asks to make footprints in the snow together (and tells her he's proud of her! and sees how hard she's worked!). The way he bought her Mogeta memorabilia or figured out she likes red or understood her intent when she chased him around the school to give him a flower and just ended up getting angry at him. The way he understood she bought Tohru a bath set because it's what she would want, just because Kakeru made a similar remark. The way he lit up when he saw Machi's trashed apartment - "the sea of despair."

And the way Machi understood and empathized with Yuki. The way he lit up and started laughing when she called him an airhead. The way she said it took someone like him to notice someone like her. The way she opened up to him and always sought him out. The way Kakeru shipped them. The way he knew she would miss him if he were to disappear, and the way being a support to her was something he needed for himself. The way she accepted him as he actually was, and not the way he thought he was supposed to be. The way she broke the door down with a chair when Yuki was trapped in the storage room. The way he teased her!

They've both been put in seemingly desirable positions within their families, yet those positions are responsible for so much of their pain and trauma. They get each other at a deep level. There's a mutuality to their relationship that Yuki desperately needed. I love them so much!

PS: if you also love Yuki/Machi, come find me on Ao3! I'll be posting some Yuchi content later this week!

Yuki/Kakeru

They have a fantastic and fun dynamic, and they are always touching each other. Kakeru is Yuki's confidant and someone who makes Yuki feel safe in being himself, flaws and all. They help each other grow - Yuki helps Kakeru be more empathetic, and Kakeru helps Yuki become more comfortable with himself. I think this pairing would have also been a satisfying end for Yuki, full stop. I love them, and I will read all your Yukeru fics, please and thank you. (Also, lots of Yukeru writers are just really good writers, so there are some gorgeous works for them.)

Yuki/Kyo

So, I didn't get why this ship was so popular at first, but then I was reminded that Yuki's first thought when he met Kyo was "pretty!" They both secretly admired each other, they're written as foils for each other, and there's a reason enemies to lovers is so popular (and it's called sexual tension).

There's a Yuki/Kyo fic that I'd credit with showing me what fanfic can really do - especially in the ways it expanded the universe, found its own way of handling the curse, and developed the relationship between the two boys in a way that also grew their characters. That fic is The Pursuit of Repeating History by @mistergrass

I do think that Yuki ending up with someone outside the Sohmas is more satisfying for his character arc than someone from the Sohma clan, but his relationship with Kyo is such a key part of his arc that this could be satisfying in its own right.

Yuki/Haru

I absolutely love the relationship these two have in canon. I love how Haru looks out for Yuki, and I love how he drives Yuki a bit crazy. I love how Haru tells Yuki the things he needs to hear, like that it's okay for him to focus on himself for a while, and I love how Yuki braves the Sohma estate to check on Haru. I also love the way Haru can read Yuki like a book.

Haru's words to Yuki about finding someone who will appreciate his fragility and kindness are always so touching. Haru is almost a mentor to Yuki, in a way, or a fairy godmother. (Or a long lost sister?) The fact that he was the one who got Yuki out of isolation at the hands of Akito, or that he was the one person who would check on him just speaks to the strength of his loyalty to Yuki.

I take Haru's statement of "Yuki was my first love" seriously, because he tells Yuki he is serious when Yuki warns him people will take him seriously when he says that. I know there's an argument to be made that Haru is just being his weird self, but that gives me and they were roommates vibes.

Unfortunately, most of the Yuki/Haru fics are dubcon with Dark Haru, which is not something I enjoy reading. What I'd really love to read is an AU where they're together in high school or later, or something that explores Haru's early feelings for Yuki, or just something that explores interesting sides of their characters that are brought out when they're together.

I don't think this would be a terribly satisfying end for Yuki, but I do really love their dynamic.

Yuki/Tohru

Okay, so, full disclosure: I was #teamyuki when I first watched Fruits Basket. Yet now, they're the only pairing on this list that I don't like. Why? Well, as I said above, Yuki's arc is much about rejecting this specific compulsory romance.

Compulsory how? Well, from the beginning, the series seems like it's setting up a love triangle, but kind of tells us (more and more explicitly as the series goes on) that things are not what they seem.

I think the series does a phenomenal job of making the reader/viewer complicit in placing this compulsory romance onto Yuki. A brief aside, making the reader/viewer complicit in the thing a story is criticizing is one of the most effective ways to criticize something, IMO, because it doesn't let the reader/viewer off the hook. We don't get to say, "Look at them, they're so foolish!" We're forced to examine our own expectations and acknowledge that we were made a fool of, too.

I totally got tingles at the spa scene (pictured above), even though upon rewatch, it's obvious how much of an act it is on Yuki's part, and how uncomfortable it makes Tohru. In fact, many of their most "romantic" moments, where the shojo bubbles appear and everything, are when Tohru is acting in an explicitly motherly way to Yuki, and he awkwardly tries to flirt because he's either misinterpreting his feelings or in denial about them.

I also thought his line, "that isn't what I want!" when he tells Kakeru about his true feelings for Tohru is one of the most powerful moments in the series. It's the moment he's finally letting go of being the Princely character and choosing to be himself, for himself, because he deserves to be known and accepted - something he'd never fully believed until that moment.

I think part of why I was initially #teamyuki was because I came to Fruits Basket through the anime first, where much of the development of his relationship with Machi was cut. Also, as I said above, I didn't really get the characters of Kyo and Tohru right away, and I think that prevented me from seeing the power of their romance. The True Form arc was a key moment that I truly didn't understand until several viewings/readings later.

So, all of that is why I don't care for this pairing. I get why people do, but I do feel it undermines Yuki's agency and his character arc. It's a pairing that makes me sad when I see it, as if this character I love has taken a step backward.

(Incidentally, I've been wanting to write a fic where the True Form arc plays out differently and Yuki takes longer to realize the nature of his feelings for Tohru. I truly wonder how he would've come to that understanding without witnessing her running after Kyo. Would he have tried dating her? Would it have been a total disaster?)

Other pairings and larger relationship structures

Out of the other pairings I found, the only one I'm genuinely curious about is Yuki with Saki Hanajima. I'll have to go read those fics. They are each the "cold" half of a "hot/cold" duo (the "hot" halves being Kyo and Arisa, who are basically the same person). I'm very curious what led people to pair them in the handful of fics about them!

(Interestingly, I think it's possible to read Saki and Arisa both as having a bit of sexual tension with Kyo, but not with Yuki.)

The others include Akito, Ayame, Hatori, and Shigure - all pairings that would have a noncon/dubcon element due to Yuki's age, and that's before you get into the specific traumas that these characters have inflicted on Yuki, or the inherent power dynamics between them, or the close familial relationship with Ayame, etc...

The trio relationships are all intriguing and full of possibility. Yuki/Tohru/Kyo? Obviously. Yuki/Kakeru/Kimi? Potential for lots of wackiness. Yuki/Kyo/Haru? Could be the next Mabudachi trio.

(No shade to anyone who enjoys fics with the pairings or tropes I don't like! This blogger believes in "don't like, don't read.")

#fruits basket #furuba #fruba #fanfic #yuchi #yukeru #yukyo #yukikyo #yukiru #yuki x machi #yuki x kyo #yuki x kakeru #yuki x haru #yuki x tohru #analysis #fruba analysis #fruits basket analysis #fanfiction #yuki sohma #romance #kyo sohma #rarepair #ao3 #ao3 fanfic #tohru honda #kakeru manabe #machi kuragi #haru sohma #by cinderella-ish #my meta

[bugsbenefit]

It’s because some of us can’t stand fanon mike he’s not will or el at the end of the day it’s not our fault the duffers already messed up his character arc long ago. some of us aren’t really interested in mike like that and to be frank I hate how much trauma people are putting on him as if he isn’t a privileged middle class *maybe cis maybe not* kid with insecurities cause he can’t play hero anymore like he used to. Fanon mike is retaliation to whatever we got the last two season from the character and I get it, but why are we keep acting like he’s important to vecna or the plot like that he’s just els boyfriend and wills crush at this point.

You don’t agree with this most likely but idc I’m just here to let this out for those who sympathize with mike. He’s genuinely not a interesting character and if Will wasn’t in love with him I wouldn’t look his way.

Hello? Will solo stan that doesn't get the show in My asks? more likely than you think

i'm sorry but you clearly sent this knowing i wouldn't agree with you and you don't sound like you want a conversation so... why did you send this? was it just to tell me there's people that don't care about Mike? because shockingly, i know that already, the influx in open Mike hate was why everyone doubled down on his character being important and purposeful last week in the first place

i'm genuinely confused on how you're watching the show, though. i mean, at least you're admitting you're only in it for Will so i guess you're aware of your bias and shortcomings?

also lmao sorry but *maybe cis maybe not*?? are you trying to say being queer in the midwest 80s in a small town with a conservative environment wasn't that bad or damaging or worth elaborating on because he's "probably cis" and the family is middle class? hello? newsflash just in, the queers need to stop complaining about how scared they are of coming out and potential consequences of it, if you're cis you're basically getting cishet privileges anyway. i'm really not sure what you meant to say here, you okay? also, aren't All the characters cis??

the vendetta you have against "fanon Mike" is fascinating tbh. what exactly is "fanon Mike" to you, bc the ask suggests it's just Mike with any motivations and 3dimensional writing orrrr? also thank you for telling me that Mike El and Will are separate characters! i almost forgot! i really needed the reminder that these extremely different characters aren't actually the same person or re-skins. thanks for your service, you really showed the evil Mike-sympathizers today o7

but you know what, sure, i'll indulge this a bit, i like talking about the show after all, you don't have to read this ofc, i feel like we're both aware we won't find common ground here

saying that Mike isn't important to the plot is batshit crazy sorry not sorry. not even talking about s5, it's just plain wrong in general and i'm assuming you haven't seen the show in ages

even right from the beginning Mike is established as the first MC and then proceeds to be the main pov for the entirety of s1. in universe Mike is the parties dm unofficial leader and according to Will "heart of the party", out of universe Mike is the only character that has established relationships and evolving conflicts with every single party member and even most adults like Hopper and Joyce. i don't know how you're watching the show to take away that Mike is unimportant and a support character

ST is an ensemble show and Mike is one of the characters, alongside El, Joyce and Will that consistently fills an MC role. (while also being one of the only ones to outright get referred to as one of the mains by actors and writers) where you got the idea from that Mike is a useless character people are stupid to care about is beyond me

if you're genuinely going into s5 hoping for Mike to be as unimportant and off-your-screen as possible i feel like you're setting yourself up for the disappointment of the century. i feel stupid just listing the reasons for why Mike is clearly going to be an important player in s5 because of how obvious they are but oh well

Mike is the first protagonist ever introduced and the final season that wants to go "full circle" Has to finish his arc satisfyingly for it to work

Mike is Will's love interest, a character that's already confirmed to be more of a main on screen again, so focusing on both parties of the ship is necessary to get them together

also Mike is still in a relationship? if he's supposed to go from dating El to suddenly dating a guy that's also his childhood bff you need to elaborate on his feelings. otherwise Will's romance is also going to fall flat and i'm sure you don't want that anon

Mike is part of the people that only came back to town after everything in s4 went down already and part of the group that seems to be the main focus in s5 (see the hill shot)

also just regarding the hill shot, Mike is center stage here (and also between his two "love interests"), totally accidental i'm sure

also the only character Will told about Vecna being alive in s4 and already swore to kill him with Will, also totally not a s5 set up don't worry

and before i go on here, aside from the writers themselves mentioning Mike as a main in multiple interviews David talked about the s5 mains a few days ago and Obviously Mike is up there along with El, Will and Joyce, exactly the people you'd expect

i don't understand how people are trying so hard to claim that there's nothing interesting about Mike to get into, as if even just s4 itself doesn't go out of it's way to set up an excess of potential conflict for s5

obvious relationship drama with El left hanging after an "i love you" monologue which we didn't see a response to yet

feelings for his best friend while he's still dating his gf

the unresolved painting lie

also the sexuality issue that comes with being queer/gay, that's been going back to s1. also made more severe by the show going out of it's way to repeatedly hammer home that the Wheelers are conservative and don't have close relationships with their kids

"you're the heart", speech about leading the party and bringing everyone together. he can't just face into the bg after Will gave him that talk, there needs to be payoff

the whole hellfire thing that's set up with the members names and faces being broadcast as "satanists" and the potential reason for everything that's been going on ON TV, sure that won't have any consequences am i right?

the Vecna plot itself, s4 makes it a point to have Will tell Mike and only Mike about Vecna being alive and the two of them agree to kill him right before the season ends

and that's just the obvious set ups s4 leaves us with, not even touching on the fact that Mike's pov has been withheld for essentially 2 seasons. which is something you can do and ignore, but only if the characters don't have anything going on during that time. Mike meanwhile changes drastically in these two seasons and we never get to learn what actually happened, why he's suddenly so set on growing up and getting gfs in s3, why he's suddenly such an uninterested bf in s4, why he suddenly feels weird about kissing El in the s3 finale after already having made out with her. there's a lot happening and we only see the fall out of it, we don't get Mike's pov. you call it "bad writing" but that's a picture book writing 101 set up, if you don't see that i don't know what to tell you

but i feel like you said everything already, i'm just rambling because i like talking. we probably won't find any common ground here. you only tolerate Mike because you like Will and that's that. not everyone has to care about every aspect of a show, however, i don't get why you're going to other blogs to tell them about your personal preference and about how you don't like one of the MCs. this is an ensemble show, it's not the El-show, and it's not the Will-show either, both of these takes are equally wrong

i don't know what the ideal s5 would look like to you, but if it turned out Will was the only important thing and the only character we focused on it would be absolute ass and horrible writing

Lucas just lost Max and left him with a shit ton of trauma, also Erica's gone through so much too. Max is still lost in a coma. El is distraught over not being able to save Max and now not find her anymore. Dustin just lost Eddie right in front of him too. there's a military presence in Hawkins now, the hellfire club fallout still hasn't happened, and so on and on. (also things like the "Nancy love triangle" still need time to be resolved too)

there's a lot s5 has to focus on to be a good wrap up for all these arcs. and yes, handling Mike's arc well is also part of that, shockingly

also ending this with a: you know people are allowed to like and care about character even if you don't give a shit about that character, right? claiming a central character with a ton of conflict set up isn't interesting is well withing your right and i won't change your mind on that, i'm aware, but going after people for actually caring about the conflicts the show is setting up isn't the move either. not everyone is obligated to share your views, especially when they're this far out there. and i feel like you knew that going in here

#help what a take #no hard feelings anonie we clearly knew there wouldn't be a consensus from the start here lmao #but oh well i'm still kind of surprised to see these takes ngl #ask tag

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

so if bi buck is happening i think that buck is gonna experiment with tommy and eddie is going to pissed and furious and not understand why, it's gonna be so good and he's gonna have a freaking girllfriend standing front row while he's pissed off at buck and tommy. marisol run away girl. also bi buck to me is the confirmation they're doing buddie. it will be the endgame, otherwise it's pointless. Buck being bi means sooner or later Buck when he's comfortable with the idea of being with a man thanks to Tommy, he's gonna realize holy shit i'm in love with my best friend. like to me that is the story and anyone that's gonna watch the show now because of bi buck is gonna go back to the beginning and watch all the buddie scenes now in a new light and it's gonna be like holy shit how are these two so damn dumb?

Personally, nonny, I think that Eddie's known for a while how he feels about Buck, so if we do get Buck coming out/realizing he's not straight, and we do get jealous Eddie, it'll be made clear that Eddie's had feelings and not done anything thinking he never had a chance with Buck.

BUT that is my own personal interpretation of Eddie's character arc and his behavior in certain scenes like the Graveyard Scene(TM) at the end of season six.

Minor differences in opinion aside I agree with you that if Buck or Eddie is going to be revealed as queer, it means Buddie will be happening. It feels to me like there just wouldn't be a point in making one of them queer only to not have them end up with one another. So if Buddie wasn't happening I think that they would keep both of them straight and with women.

I am also heartened by the fact that Natalia doesn't seem to be coming back. She had a strong setup - stronger than Marisol's setup with Eddie in my opinion - and the fact that they so quickly dropped her means that her relationship with Buck wasn't considered all that important to his character or plot. If they planned for either man to have a serious long-term endgame relationship with a woman I don't think they'd be so keen to drop her like a hot potato.

Also. Total side note. If Tommy does get with Buck?

I 100000% need him to gossip with Maddie about how he got a crush on Chim back in the day. While Chim sits there flabbergasted. DO YOU HEAR ME, TIM? I NEED IT.

#mads answers things #911 spec #it has been FAR too long since I last used that tag #oh my sweet little weewoos we are SO back #*blasts circus music*

[tvfangirladdict]

Rant about all the Bi-Buck Arc hate surfacing.

Made the mistake of scrolling through comments on Instagram surrounding 911 and the cast.

I need to blow off steam, so this is gonna probably start harsh.

While there was so much heartfelt appreciation for Buck's storyline, the negative comments kept stealing my attention. I'm so tired of hearing(reading) that people think the whole show is ruined because two grown men kissed. Like, get the fuck over yourselves already. You don't agree with the relationship, you're just gonna have to deal with it the same we've dealt with Buck and Eddie's half-assed, flat, forced heterosexual relationships for the last 7 years, okay?

They all want to justify their biphobia/homophobia by saying that it's "forced" or it "doesn't make sense," or that they "never saw Buck even hint at it and it's just pandering to fans." Like, bitch, welcome to real life. If you're a real fan of this show, and you watched from the beginning, you know Athena and Michael's marriage ended first thing when he came out as gay. A muscular, "straight", black guy with a wife and two kids who'd been in the closet/denial his whole life, came out to his family, and none of them saw it coming, even if they might have suspected "deep down". This shit happens every day, okay? They're all mad cause "if he was gonna be gay, they should have made him gay from the beginning". Why? So you could form your opinion of him based on who he's attracted to? Why does this bother you so much. You were okay with it when it was Michael and Hen cause you knew from the beginning and they were your token gay characters that you've just learned to "put up with" to appease the rainbow crowd.

And it's not even the ones who are just straight up, like "it's wrong"/"it's a sin"/"it's gross", etc. that bother me the most. It's the "I don't care, you do you, but don't shove it down my throat", people that make me mad. Why is simply witnessing a queer person or relationship "shoving it down your throat"? Y'all realize they exist in real life too, right? Like, personally, I have family, friends, co-workers, bosses, who are all apart of the lgbtq+ community, and I'm from a smaller suburban/rural area of Ohio. Those are just the people in my life who are out. Why is seeing them represented in modern media so bad? This isn't covid, it's not fucking contagious. If it was your brother, your cousin, your best friend, would it be okay then? Both of my brothers have only ever dated women, but if one of them came out and said "hey, I think I might like guys too," I'm not gonna throw a fucking fit and invalidate them by telling them it's not possible because they've only ever dated women. No, I'll thank them for trusting me, and gush to them about boys because I never had a sister to do that with.

Every time I read those comments, all I can think is, you just proved that you're not a safe person to be trusted if someone in your life wants to come out.

Just, how do you give up on an entire show after one kiss? And then claim that you don't have a problem with it? You can't have it both ways. If it didn't matter to you, you wouldn't react so strongly and so negatively to it. 911 and ABC's intention isn't to question your sexuality. You don't have to worry that you're suddenly going to have to kiss Buck too, okay? Chill.

The whole "Buck has only ever slept with women" and "suddenly he's gay" responses are exactly why this storyline is so important. So many people to this day refuse to acknowledge sexualities outside of straight and gay. Why is it always, "made gay"? It doesn't have to be one or the other. It can be both, or neither.

I say this with the experience of having a mom who's still in the "I don't care as long as I don't have to see it" camp. If seeing it upsets you, you've got a problem. If it really doesn't matter and you're cool letting everyone be themselves, seeing two men together should be just as accepted as a man and a women together. Unless you're also saying we need to stop portraying men and women in romantic, sexual relationships together with kissing scenes or more graphic ones, then you can't rule with a double standard. Me and my mom loved watching Teen Wolf together, but any time there was a scene with Danny kissing another guy, she'd get uncomfortable. She even told me once, that she didn't think they should show scenes like that but she wasn't sure why when watching het couples together didn't make her feel the same way.

Safe, sane, and consensual. As long as they follow that, and are happy, why can't you just be happy for them?

If you're old enough to have been following along with this show, you're old enough to know that everyone is different. And life as an adult is about opening yourself up to the outside world and learning about what makes people different. From race to religion to sexuality to nationality and beyond. Your views, beliefs, ideologies, etc, are not the only ones that matter. Getting and giving acceptance goes hand in hand.

I get it to a certain extent. Coming from a different time and all that, but it just means you've had more time to learn. Being stubborn and holding onto what you were brought up in doesn't mean a whole lot to me if you refuse to open your mind up as an adult to look beyond yourself.

Okay, I'm done now. That felt chaotic, but I feel better. If you've made it this far, thanks for coming to my TED talk☺️

#evan buckley #911 abc #bi buck #bi evan buckley

[yellowspiralbound]

Since season 3 of The Witcher Netflix comes out tomorrow...here are some of my concerns on adaptation from this season onward. Potential spoilers for the future seasons and definite spoilers for the books. Long post ahead.

The Hansa's Dynamic

I am so worried about how the Hansa is going to be handled in the show. Like shaking in my boots terrified. The showrunners already really messed up Dandelion & Geralt's dynamic...and that's one of the easier dynamics present in the Hansa imo. The dynamic is already going to be screwy because Cahir is a middle aged man and not a petulant teenager if he's present in the Hansa at all (though I think he will be since Emhyr called him and Fringilla out at the end of s2).

Emhyr as a Character

Speaking of Emhyr...I think they might attempt to give him a redemption arc, and I cannot emphasize how bad of an idea that is. They're going to retcon the whole "wanting to impregnate Ciri" bit, which I have mixed feelings on. Like yes, on one hand that's fucking gross but on the other hand, that bit is in there to show how fucked up Emhyr is and why Geralt needs to get to Ciri so quickly; it adds a sense of urgency to the Hansa's travels. If I see Emhyr sympathizers on my dash after this season I will lose my fucking mind.

Milva's Pregnancy & Related Scenes

I suspect that Milva's pregnancy is going to be cut entirely or play up the rest of the Hansa's concern for her as a weird "men think they can control women's bodies" thing which Milva will have to fight with them about so the show can be appropriately pro-choice without exploring any of the pro-choice nuance the books bring up. I can just see Regis talking to the guys about it being turned into a "the father deserves a say in a woman's choice to abort" scenario instead of the "I will give this woman her abortion regardless of what you all think about that (and I've made that VERY clear) but I think she's making this choice because she believes you all will abandon her/not support her if she wants to keep this baby and someone needs to make sure that she knows that won't happen" scenario that it actually is. This is also plays into my concerns about the Hansa's dynamic as changing that scene changes it irreparably.

Characterizing Nilfgaard as a Nation

Right now I feel like the show could go one of two ways 1) Nilfgaard is wrong in everything it does or 2) Nilfgaard is right in everything it does (if Emhyr gets a redemption arc). The show has already made a show of the Northern Realms' racism, which is book accurate mind you, but I fear this will translate to a sort of "Nilfgaard is the better nation as its less racist" scenario. While Nilfgaard is better in that aspect and a few others, it is still a militant slave nation. Nilfgaard and the Northern Realms both have their evils and their virtues; that's a big point in the books and the games. Neither nation is 100% good or 100% bad - they're just nations. I don't think the show will be able to handle that kind of nuance.

Jaskier & Radovid...

Apparently, Radovid is supposed to be one of Jask's love interests this season. Radovid is a massive racist, a war criminal, and a teenager. I'm sure all of that's going to be retconned but for fuck's sake just make a new character if you're going to age up and completely change the personality and insanity of an existing one. Important note: I am 1000% in support of queer Jask. I have never shipped that man with a woman in my life (even in the books and games) but for the love of God why did his LI have to be fucking RADOVID??

Mistle & the Rats

If they make Ciri and Mistle a love story, I am going to be disappointed but not surprised. Let me be clear: Mistle is a rapist and an abuser. I suspect they will change that to shoehorn in a queer relationship (even though Triss and Philippa are RIGHT THERE if they want a semi-canon wlw couple). The Rats as a whole are definitely going to be made into more robinhood-like characters because God forbid a main character like Ciri is morally grey or does questionable/bad things.

Geralt's Disability

If this season ends with the Vilgefortz and Geralt fight, as I suspect it might, Geralt will be disabled permanently by the end of this season. The dryads do not fix it. Magic does not fix it. Geralt becomes disabled and stays disabled. His disability becomes a hindrance during the books and the reader actively sees him grapple with the fallout of this. I do not trust this show to handle that - especially with how much more closed off Geralt is in the show compared to the books. If I had to guess, Geralt's disability will be handwaved away or mentioned in passing and never actually shown to impact him which is not cool.

#the witcher #the witcher books #the witcher netflix #twn critical #books vs show #the hansa #milva barring #maria barring #regis #cahir #cahir mawr dyffryn aep ceallach #emiel regis #jaskier vs dandelion #jaskier #dandelion #geralt of rivia #cirilla fiona elen riannon #the witcher s3 #spiral's thoughts

[andsomemaniacgotridofthewheel]

Our Flag Means Death vs. The Magicians

I was not sure whether I should even write something, but the closer the season 2 finale and, hopefully, a 3rd season of OFMD comes, the more nervous I get. So it's gotta come out.

Thing is, I trust David Jenkins. Or, more accurately, I want to trust David Jenkins.

But 4 years and *checks watch* 6 months ago I also trusted the showrunners of "The Magicians".

Because they, too, responded thoughtful and kindly on Twitter to their fandom's worries. They assured us they were aware of how important queer representation was, and that they would handle their show's queer pairing of two main (!) characters with the utmost respect and sensitivity. They said they knew how badly queer people were treated on the media and they did not want to do that in their show. They had done their research, they carefully listened to their fans, and they were different.

A lot of fans were NOT convinced by that and maintained that it would still turn out to be queerbaiting. We others, we trusted. They obviously knew what they were doing!

For those of you who were not around here back then or simply not in the fandom, and who have no idea what I am talking about, let me try to summarise the shitshow what happened.

"The Magicians" was a very original, weird, entertaining and, for 3 seasons and 12 episodes, good urban fantasy show about a group of young, well, magicians. It was based on a book series of the same name by Lev Grossmann.

The main character, Quentin, was canonically struggling with clinical depression. At the beginning of the show he had admitted himself to a mental health clinic, and he was on medication, and his illness was treated as a part of his character throughout the show. And they received a lot of praise for their sensitive, realistic representation of people with depression and their continuing struggle.

Around Quentin there was an ensemble of other main characters. His (male) best friend (Eliot) was gay and played by a gay actor.

Season 1 ended with a drunken decision from Quentin, Eliot and Eliot's (female) best friend (Margot) to have a threesome; which basically ended Quentin's het-relationship (with Alice) that had developed during the season. This was the first indication that the depressed main character Quentin might also be bisexual.

In season 3 there came a mind-blowing episode where Quentin & Eliot spend the entire rest of their lives living together in a cabin in the woods and raising a son, in what turned out to be an alternative timeline. Basically, in order to solve a plot-arc relevant puzzle, they move to the cabin where the puzzle was set, not knowing how long it would take. After a few months together Quentin initiates an affair with Eliot. A little bit later a woman, with whom Quentin then has a child, moves in; a couple of years later she dies, Quentin & Eliot raise the kid together, and when Eliot, the older one, finally dies of old age, leaving Quentin alone behind, the puzzle named "The Beauty of all Life" is finally solved, the timeline reset, and young Quentin & Eliot in the past receive the solution of the puzzle together with the memories of their life together in the other timeline.

It was a beautiful, beautiful episode. Heartbreaking and life-affirming and queer and just wonderful. It also established beyond a doubt that the depressed main character Quentin was definitely bisexual (and polyamorous).

Then, for the whole 4th season, Eliot was separated from the rest of the group and in great danger, while Quentin and the others tried to find and save him. And when Eliot had to do some soul searching, he remembered something the audience never saw from that one season 3 episode, they added a brand new scene: after they both had been stunned into silence by having the memories of a whole other life dropped onto them, just where the original episode had ended, Quentin had actually asked Eliot if they should "just try it", because "who gets proof of concept like that"? And Eliot, scared of the gravity of it and full of abandonment issues, had shot him down. Present Eliot decides then, if he ever sees Quentin again, to stop being scared and just go for a relationship with him.

(On the other side of the plot, Quentin gets more and more desperate and frantic, trying to find Eliot and save his life. He is clearly masking a steadily worsening spiral into a severe mental health crisis.)

It's queerbaiting, said the nay-sayers and skeptics. It will never happen. At the end of season 4, Quentin will get back together with his ex-girlfriend Alice, they're End Game, and Eliot will end up dead alone at the sidelines, undergoing character development through loss, as a gay character should. /s

They thought we were naive, but we thought they weren't paying attention. Two (2!) episodes in two (2!) seasons with the sole purpose to set Queliot up as a couple, in canon. This wasn't subtext, it wasn't queer-coding; it was text, it was spoken aloud, it was named, it was shown. Why would they do that if nothing else would come of it? Also, they had promised us. The gay actor who played Eliot repeatedly stated how proud he was to be on a show where this was happening, he was just as excited as us, he was one of us.

Then the season 4 finale came, and it wasn't exactly queerbait.

It was much, much worse.

I was on Tumblr right after the finale aired, and it was eerie. No episode reactions, no gif-sets, no comments or shitposts or anything. Even the nay-sayers and skeptics couldn't bring themselves to utter the well-deserved "told you so"s to break the stunned silence. All that was missing from the scene were actual tumbleweeds blowing across our dashboards.

Even from the actors of the show who were on twitter, usually very active and involved, came only radio silence. The last tweet for a while came the day before the finale aired. It was a tweet from the POC actor of an unrelated character, who had spend the last season supporting queer fans and assuaging our fears that something bad might happen to Queliot. And this tweet from him simply stated that he had just found out he had filmed a fake finale scene, one that was never intended to be aired, and that it had served its purpose: he had no idea how the season would actually end.*

And here is how it did end: with the clinically depressed and queer main character blowing himself up in order to permanently ban that season's big bad. He had saved Eliot before that, but he didn't get a chance to talk to him, instead he did get a final scene straight out of the suicidal ideation fantasy handbook: after he killed himself, he witnessed his friends, unseen by them, grieving for him and acknowledging how his sacrifice had made all of their lives better in various ways. And no, I'm not making this up.

And it wasn't even the end of the showrunners stupidity, because in an utter display of tone-deafness, they were taking to Twitter celebrating themselves for the progressive (!!!) decision to kill off their White Male Main Character™, to focus more on the POC characters in the show. And, of course, the recently introduced cis-het male white dudebro character, who had started as a guest but somehow kept getting more and more screentime lately.

They had pulled a Bury Your Gays, but With A Vengeance. In only 10 minutes of screentime they had completely destroyed everything that had made their show critically acclaimed, retroactively un-deserving all the praise and recognition they had gotten for good representation of mental illness and the courage to introduce a canon queer relationship between their established main characters.

And they didn't even get it. They honestly expected praise for their "woke" decision to kill of their White Male Main Character™ (they kept repeating it like a mantra), and they reacted like children when they were instead confronted with an epic shitstorm from upset and angry queer and mentally ill fans.**

In hindsight we realised that what had fooled us was them just parroting the right words and phrases back at us. They had no idea what queerbaiting was. They had even less of an idea what a Bury Your Gays was. They didn't know what we meant when we said that queer representation was so important, and that we were worried if they would do it right; and they didn't understand that they themselves were lying when they answered that they would handle the queer representation in their show with care and respect, because they didn't understand what care and respect in relation to queer representation even was. They didn't even realise that his depression alone, and even more so combined with his absolute lack of toxic masculinity, separated Quentin from the usual White Male Main Character Trope they somehow so desperately wanted to fight - and for some reason they didn't even seem to have realised that they (accidentally?) written him as bisexual? (I am still not too clear on how that even could happen.)

And that's where my worry for "Our Flag Means Death" and David Jenkins comes in. Yes, he was publicly flabbergasted when he learned about queerbaiting and how deeply it had traumatized queer fans and destroyed our trust. He publicly noticed, he publicly cared.

But does he really understand?

Even if he knows and understands queerbaiting (now), does he also know what a Bury Your Gays is? Does he understand?

The historical Edward "Blackbeard" Teach died November 1718. The historical Stede "Gentlemen Pirate" Bonnet died a month later, December 1718. That's at the very most less than a year from when our favourite gay pirate couple is now. And yes, David Jenkins makes it a point to screw with history, he does what he wants no matter what. But their death dates are pretty huge. A fixed point in time, if you will.

I want to believe that all the faking of deaths talk is indeed foreshadowing, that they will be officially dead to history, but actually have run off together to open Jeff's Inn by the Sea, with a Bar & Grill and Other Delicacies & Delights, Snake Snackery, Gift Shop and Fishing Gear in the back. That we will get our Happy Ending. That they will get their Happy Ending. No Bury Your Gays. Everyone lives, just this once, everyone lives.

But what if it is a red herring instead of foreshadowing? What if it is supposed to make their eventual deaths even more heartbreaking and tragic? WHAT IF DAVID JENKINS DOESN'T ACTUALLY KNOW ABOUT BURY YOUR GAYS? What if he says he does, what if he believes he does, but what if he doesn't actually understand?

What if he just says what he believes we want to hear, without really understanding the reason?

For me personally, that's not even the worst of it.

When "The Magicians" season 4 aired, I had just gone through the worst depressive episode of my life. It was actually the reason I hyper-fixated so strongly on the show and why I had repeatedly binge-watched the first three seasons in a span of only 3 weeks. It was the reason I obsessed over Quentin, the character who was in a place that I was in just months before, I place I had lost and felt I would never reach again, a place that gradually and painfully I did reach again by the end of those weeks. When I had caught up with season 4 and the finale aired, I was actually a lot better. But even then, Quentin's death and the way he died hurt me, confused me, triggered me, set me back. Talking to other fans with the same problems helped. Removing myself from the fandom and not looking at anything Magician's-related for near-on two years helped also.

And I was in luck. Only one month later "Good Omens" was released. I had liked the book, I had looked forward to its adaption, but I was completely unprepared for what Neil Gaiman had done with it. It healed me, it fully filled the void "The Magicians" and Queliot had left inside me, and it made everything better.

In "Our Flag Means Death", Stede is clearly on the autism spectrum. I was bullied at school, just like him, not for being queer, but for "being a fucking weirdo". Because I have ADHD, like Ed. Unlike Ed I don't have the hyperactive kind, but the inattentive kind. I can never tell if someone is sarcastic or sincere. I also have difficulty with and anxiety in social situations, and I have almost never felt accepted by my peers or my family. I am permanently masking. I relate deeply to Stede's belief that he has to change in order to be worthy of love. I also related deeply to Ed's mental health spiral and suicidal ideation in the beginning of season 2. I obsessed for days over the moment when Ed decided to finally let go, only to be saved in the very last moment by love. It felt way too real, way too familiar, and it was so important for me and my state of mind that it ended in hope. They managed to take the trauma and make it cathartic. So even if my genderfluid ass didn't relate better to mlm relationships than to any cishet relationship, relating a whole lot to Stede and only a little less to Ed because of their neurodivergent traits will be enough for their deaths to destroy me. Just like Quentin's death almost had. And I don't even know if there will be a "Good Omens 3" to stop my fall only a month later.

*= with the exception of the actor leaving the show, none of the actors on "The Magicians" knew. They had all been given fake scenes to film. They didn't even know their colleague was leaving them until the day the finale aired.

**= when I had finally distanced myself enough from the show emotionally and wondered if I should maybe watch season 5, it was included in my Prime subscription anyway, I was told not to, because a) apparently the showrunners had written it as a giant FUCK YOU to everyone who was upset by the season 4 finale, and b) because they had done all the characters dirty, but especially fan-favourite (and mine) Eliot, apparently he fared even worse in season 5 than in season 4. But I am glad to be able to at least inform you that season 5 pretty much tanked both critically as well as in viewership, I have never seen a show go from successful and popular to irrelevant and hated so quickly and so completely.

#quentin coldwater deserved better #the magicians #david jenkins #our flag means death #queliot #gentlebeard #edward teach #stede bonnet #quentin coldwater #eliot waugh #ofmd #bury your gays #queerbait #queer representation #cw: depression #cw: suicide #good omens #neil gaiman #nikku's posts #nikku.txt #nikku #blackbonnet #quentin coldwater x eliot waugh #eliot waugh x quentin coldwater #ofmd blackbeard #stedeward #ed teach #blackbeard #ed x stede #stede x ed

[whinlatter]

thoughts about wolfstar? you're now the one i go to for any hp related thoughts

omg this is VERY nice of you but i'm pure flop on marauders thoughts, they're all extremely half-baked, so best left to others. here my half-baked wolfstar thoughts offered sheepishly and apologetically!

the thing is - i quite like the idea of wolfstar. to be honest i was sort of imagining a sort of wistful wolfstar vibe to how i wrote lupin in orchards in the aftermath of sirius' death. but i think the wolfstar i like is quite a specific version of it that's increasingly hard to find in fic searches so i don't often go looking for it (which is pure laziness on my part). my interest in canon coherent characterisation limits me here - i think there's such a strong case for wolfstar as a pairing written in ways that attend to the very clear dynamics (and timelines) that canon makes plausible (including in AUs, where actually characterisation matters more, not less, than in 'canon compliant' fics, because it's the reader's only anchor). there is an intensity and an intimacy to what sirius and remus share in the marauders and the significance of a boyhood spent together in their adult lives, a literal physical proximity of them living together as adults post azkaban as two men who have such complex feels towards themselves and especially to their bodies, including an overlapping self loathing, and they're both characters that can very plausibly read as queer-coded in rich and interesting ways. and then, of course, there's an inherent narrative shape to both of their canon arcs (the tragedy, delicious). these are just some of the dynamics in a potential romantic relationship between the two of them that can make for really rich and interesting potential to work with in fic writing.

the trouble i find with a lot of wolfstar, less as a matter of principle than what actually gets written more often than not, is that the stuff i personally find rewarding and interesting as a writer/reader is work that bears some relationship with the canon text (even if - especially if - it's to pull it apart and expose its flaws and complexities). a queer reading of the relationship between sirius and remus in canon is absolutely plausible and can be deeply compelling, and, as queering HP as a text remains a powerful fuck you to its author whose reaction to the ship was errrr quite homophobic, still really important.

but. challenging the text means having some sense of the characterisation of the essence of these characters as rendered in the text, and canon is clear about certain aspects of sirius and remus' characterisations that limits my enthusiasm for a lot of wolfstar that has sprung up in recent years (especially in and around ATYD, which i'll say more about in a minute). the truth is that canon strongly suggests that sirius cares much less about remus than he ever does about james (dropping @saintsenara's excellent manifesto for why unrequited prongsfoot is canon, also the rec for one of the best fics i read last year that @ashesandhackles put me onto, empire builders by shecrows, a gorgeous complex funny angsty prongsfoot fic that's not not canon compliant timeline-wise). it's also clear that the marauders as a friendship group functioned as a group of three boys all working towards james potter as the de facto leader, each with their own complicated feelings and levels of loyalty and devotion to james that undoubtedly shaped, and limited, how the other three felt towards each other (especially after james' death). the kind of wolfstar lore that's sprung up in the last few years, especially from marauderstok, of roadman remus the romeo of gryffindor tower that young sirius is wildly and hopelessly in love with, and is desperate to reunite with after azkaban, is a version of wolfstar that's sort of compelling as an original story but, for my taste, bears too little relationship to their core canon characterisation to be really up my street. a wolfstar with really fucked up power dynamics that plays with sirius' idolisation of james and remus having to play second fiddle? delicious. or even unrequited/onesided wolfstar from remus to sirius - yum. but the rest, i struggle with. by the time they've left school, remus thinks sirius is the spy and sirius thinks remus is the spy. that is not giving soulmates, in my mind. but as with most of these things, i'm very open to being proved wrong.

(with that said, though, i think the subculture and lore that's built around wolfstar is really astonishing and often extremely compelling, i think ATYD is obviously a huge accomplishment and deserves its flowers for launching such a phenomenon, and there's masses of quality writing and art and general creative talent coming out of wolfstar spaces that it's hard not to be continually impressed by. also some of those tiktok edits absolutely slap. that remus-centric animated noah kahan one. unreal)

#not great that i'm nervous to tag wolfstar every time i raise mild scepticism about aspects of wolfstar subculture lmao #sirius black #thank you so much anon! #remus lupin #meta #wolfstar

[elizmanderson]

queerness in The Remarkable Retirement of Edna Fisher

book description

when you’re an old woman armed with nothing but gumption and knitting needles, stopping a sorcerer from wiping out an entire dragon-fighting organization is a tall order. no one understands why 83-year-old Edna Fisher is the Chosen One, destined to save the Knights from a dragon-riding sorcerer bent on their destruction. after all, Edna has never handled a magical weapon, faced down a dragon, or cast a spell. and everyone knows the Council of Wizards always chooses a teenager—like the vengeful girl ready to snatch Edna’s destiny from under her nose.

still, Edna leaps at the chance to leave the nursing home. with a son long dead in the Knights’ service, she’s determined to save dragon-fighters like him & ensure other mothers don’t suffer the same loss she did. but as Edna learns about the abuse in the ranks & the sorcerer’s history, she questions if it’s really the sorcerer that needs stopping—or the Knights she’s trying to save.

find it here

okay let's talk about queerness in this book

did a thread on twitter in which I said "cishet" five hundred thousand times so will probably get banned lmao but anyway I wanted to share it here too

especially since it's late in Pride Month and I have yet to post anything anywhere about it BEING Pride Month and me being queer and my books being queer, bc I've been burnt out af. so what energy I've had has gone toward planning and writing

anyway

I say "queerness in" rather than "queer characters in" because I want to talk about queerness in the book more broadly, not least bc I'm a queer creator & this is a queer book, but I've had a lot of impostor syndrome about both those things.

I figured out I was queer later in life & am a woman-presenting person w/a male-presenting partner. I've questioned my gender & sexuality repeatedly & ID'd differently over time, which is why I like "queer." I don't have to re-explain myself a dozen times. I'm queer. that's that.

but having figured out my queerness later, and having a relationship that presents as cishet, it took a long time for me to overcome feelings of ~not being queer enough~ (and sometimes I still struggle with them).

similarly, my MC is an apparently* cishet woman, unlike the MCs of many books that appear on queer book lists at this time of year. just like I took a long time to start really engaging with my community bc I worried I wasn't ~queer enough,~ for a long time, I didn't call this a queer book bc I worried it wasn't ~queer enough~. if people asked if the book was queer, I'd reply with a laundry list of explicitly queer characters rather than saying yes

fuck that though lmao. this is a queer book. let me count the ways

1. found family

as found family is so important to many queer people - by connecting us to our community, by welcoming us when bio family casts us off - found family is central to REMARKABLE RETIREMENT. while there are queer romantic arcs, the found family is the most important relationship in the book.

2. queer labels

some characters get explicit labels. Benjamin is gay. Clem is ace. queer labels are important bc they give us the ability to describe our identities and experiences! however...

3. undefined queerness

while labels are important, queerness isn't about fitting into new boxes. it's about smashing the boxes apart.

even if characters don't have specific labels applied on-page, they're queer. they don't need to claim a specific label for that to be true.*

*caveat that some media avoids using labels to pander to queer audiences w/implied queerness without ~alienating~ cishets by stating "this character is Not Cishet"**

that's not what I mean

I mean e.g. in OFMD queerness is inherent even if WORDS like queer/ace/etc aren't used. OMitB is another example (specifically Mabel) and Good Omens is yet another.

**caveat to my caveat that some media is queer-coded & avoids queer labels rather than being explicitly queer because network execs or whoever won't allow explicit queerness.

this is not the fault of the creators. sometimes it can be hard to tell the difference.

but anyway.

in REMARKABLE RETIREMENT, several queer characters are queer without using specific labels.

in some cases this is bc it doesn't come up or isn't important to them to express in the moment. like Clem is bi, but she's not worried about being bi. she's worried about being ace, because she's still kind of questioning that about herself, and she's worried it might cause problems down the road if her crush is >:[ about her not wanting to have sex. so she uses the word "ace" to describe herself in this scene but not "bi," even though she's both.

in other cases it's bc they don't have the language. Kiernan's sense of attraction and desire is described in a way that seems graysexual or demisexual (or both), and Red's sense of desire is described in a way that seems ace-spec, but neither of them use those terms, because neither of them know those terms. despite the lack of terminology, many ace readers have identified multiple ace characters based on description or experience. the lack of a specific label doesn't make those characters less queer.

similarly, some characters have not yet had this realization about themselves. which leads us to...

4. questioning

okay, back to my first asterisk of the post.

Edna is by all appearances an old cishet woman.

for most of the story, that's how she seems. that's what SHE thinks, even. she's a cishet old grandma adopting every queer young person she can find.

BUT THEN

Clem explains aceness to her

and Edna has a brief crisis bc wait a minute this sounds like her??

ultimately, Edna has too much to worry about right now to spend time questioning whether, at the age of 83, she might be somewhere on the ace spectrum

so it doesn't come up again

but that moment of crisis is THERE, & that too is queer

5. queernormativity*

I write queernorm worlds, largely bc I viscerally hate coming out lmao

it doesn't mean everyone's a queer scholar

like Clem has to explain "ace" to Edna, bc Edna thinks blankly of a deck of cards & doesn't understand what that has to do with sex

but it DOES mean queer folks get to just be and do

*caveat that this is not remotely to imply that a story is less queer if its world ISN'T queernorm

it's just a way in which MY story is queer

6. all the queer characters

not gonna do a list (even though my original idea for Pride Month when I was young and optimistic and thought I'd have energy to do it way back when was a list of queer characters), but virtually every character in this book is queer in one way or another

on twitter this is where I ended because 6 seemed like a good number for Pride since June is the sixth month, but tumblr gets a bonus

7. the author is queer

happy pride, buy my queer book

#the remarkable retirement of edna fisher #e.m. anderson #e's writing #pride month #pride month books #queer book recs #book recs #fantasy books #indie author #2023 debuts #2023 books #queer is not a slur #adding that one simply bc I said 'queer' five hundred thousand times as well as cishet so just in case lol

[juliette-cai-enthusiast]

Ok Here's my Big Long Rant About Chloe Gong's Books

So I discovered These Violent Delights towards the end of 2021, just before Our Violent Ends came out. My ex-girlfriend recommended it (funny enough she also got me into Taylor Swift. She was super toxic and later cheated on me but she had pretty good taste all around) and I had heard of it before so I decided to give it a shot. I settled into bed that night, planning to read a chapter or two, and three hours later, I had finished the book and probably almost screeched at the cliffhanger, and then began the agonizing wait (it probably wasn't more than a month, but still) for OVE.

The entire time, I could not stop thinking about how much I loved these characters. The relationships seemed authentic and fleshed-out and every character was so unique, and it was just so well-written. I especially remember being completely obsessed with Juliette (hence the username) and loving Benedikt and Marshall, although I was so so worried it was going to be queerbait.

When OVE came out, I got it out of the library and once again read it one night. This time, I was in tears by the end. To this day, only 2 books have made me cry (the other being They Both Die at the End) and OVE is the only one that has made me cry every time. They became my new obsession almost instantaneously, and when Foul Lady Fortune was announced, I was completely ecstatic.

When FLF was released, I went to the book tour and actually got to meet Chloe Gong. I was fangirling out of my entire mind and was probably super embarassing, but she was super funny and down-to-earth. I cried (again) in the parking lot as soon as I stepped outside. A few months later, she announced Last Violent Call, and when I found out that Roma and Juliette were alive, I actually fell on the floor. I went to the Immortal Longings book tour, although I sadly couldn't go to the FHH one, and I'm currently scheming up ways to get tickets for Vilest Things (Miss Chloe, please come to Philly again, I don't know if I can drag my mom to New York twice).

There are so many reasons why this series is so unebelievably important to me. First of all, the queer representation is honestly unlike anything I've ever seen. The queer characters are fully fleshed out and have personalities and arcs outside of their queer identities, but their queerness is also not a footnote or shoved in for "diversity points." When Benmars became canon and got their "Because I love you!" moment I was in complete shock--I honestly hadn't allowed myself to hope for it to happen. As the queer representation carried over into FLF, I just grew more and more overjoyed with this series. These books also came to me right when I needed them. LVC particularly came out during a very difficult and stressful time in my life, where my mental health was very bad. I remember thinking to myself all week, "Just hold on until LVC comes out," and it really helped me push through that period of time.

Chloe Gong was also pretty much a realization of my dreams. I knew I wanted to be an author for a while, but I really had no idea how to get there. I always thought, "Go to college for something you don't entirely hate, get a real job for about 10 years, then you can start publishing books." Seeing someone only a few years older than me with the same dreams as mine succeed in bringing them to life has been almost a lifeline over the years. I'm no longer as scared of what my future holds, or whether or not I'll be happy with my life. I honestly read her blog posts about her publishing journey probably once a month, just to keep myself motivated, because if she can do it, so will I.

So thank you so much @chloegong for this amazing world you have created. These books really mean the world to me and have brought so many amazing people into my life, and I can't imagine who I would be without them. This is way too long and way too personal, but I just reread FHH and was deep in the SS feels, so I had to get it all out there.

#chloe gong #secret shanghai #these books mean the absolute world to me and are my entire personality so yeah #foul lady fortune #foul heart huntsman #these violent delights #our violent ends

[lucky-clover-gazette]

The Big Picture

Vio & Shadow-focused Four Swords Manga Adaptation | Rated G

Chapter 4: Quest Updated

“Can you hear me?” asks the voice of Ganon, projected from some kind of unreachable void. Shadow isn’t exactly sure how Ganon’s remote oversight works. All he knows is that Ganon created him, Ganon’s will is truth, and Ganon will appear to him only when the time is right.

Not that Shadow cares, or anything.

“We can hear you,” sighs Vaati.

“I can’t hear you.”

Read the chapter (and very informative author's note!!) on ao3 or under the cut:

Author's Note: Finally, I’m working on this project again! I encourage you to re-read the previous chapters, because I just did a pretty significant amount of revision. The most notable change is the decision to not use manga dialogue verbatim—I’m still heavily referencing the transcription, but changing some language and phrasing to blend with my own style. Also important to note is the change of Vio, Shadow, Green, Blue, Red, Zelda, and Link Prime’s age, which is now 16 instead of 19. Working so closely with the manga, I’ve concluded that it makes the most sense for them to be around that age—mature enough to resonate with adults and potentially develop complex feelings, but young enough where it’s still believable that they would speak/act in line with the manga. To me, the True Manga Canon Links are 14-16 in the same way that, like, Katara, Sokka, Princess Azula, and Prince Zuko are ages 14-16. They’re not living in a world like ours, attending high school or something equivalent; they have very adult responsibilities, while simultaneously coping with teenage angst and the challenge of developing their own identities. And while Vio and Shadow stand out as the characters least believable as any age younger than 14, I do think the others—while silly in an cartoonish way—are not as a whole believable as preteens either. Like, Mabel and Dipper Pines are written as unusually clever preteens, and even they still seem younger than Red. Side note: cartoons are not my only frame of reference for media interpretation, but I am writing this specific thing like it’s a cartoon. Ultimately, I think that while I personally prefer writing a more mature interpretation, these characters can only be teenagers in something meant to complement and supplement canon. That said, I still fully intend to expand on the queer subtext between Vio and Shadow. Their canon arc reminds me a lot of the confusing, codependent, and ultimately life-altering relationships queer teenagers often find themselves in. This adaptation will explore Vio and Shadow’s journeys of queer discovery, both literally and allegorically, because that’s how I personally interpret the manga. Even if you’re not big on shipping these specific characters, I sincerely hope you can respect my interpretation and still find something that resonates. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this very belated update :)

Pure light transports the heroes to a chamber beneath Hyrule Castle. Link has been here before—very recently, in fact—but to Vio it somehow feels new.

“Are you well, heroes?” asks a soft female voice. Vio looks towards the center of the chamber, where a young woman floats trapped inside a magically crystal. She clasps her hands in front of her chest as if to pray.

“The Blue Maiden!” Red exclaims, his eyes wide.

“Did you save us?” asks Green.

“Link,” says the maiden, “something awful has begun. A terrible ordeal. Darkness once again covers Hyrule, just as in times of legend.”

Tell me something I don’t know, Vio wants to mutter, but decides not to antagonize the minor deity who probably just saved his life. .

“The shadow that took us was a phantom hero,” the maiden continues, “created by an evil demon.”

Vio perks up at that. The more he learns about that freak, the easier it will be to defeat him.

“It is a ‘Shadow Link. A dark reflection of you, but more powerful than any mere shadow.”

Vio attempts to process this. How exactly had Shadow Link been created? It couldn’t have been a similar process to himself. Vio is a fractured piece of a person, while Shadow Link is a dark reflection of a whole. No wonder he’s more powerful than the four of them—although combined, maybe the heroes could still stand a chance.

The maiden sighs, recapturing Vio’s attention. “It took all my might to send even that small light through the barrier. His power is not yet at its peak. You must stop him before that happens.”

“We’re no match for him now,” says Red in a defeated slump. “How can we ever beat him?”

Blue draws his sword. “We’ve gotta smash that barrier first!”

“That isn’t possible right now,” says the Blue Maiden. “The Four Sword has been cursed by Vaati. You must re-energize it, fill it with Life Force and the curse will be lifted. Then you can defeat the darkness for good.”

The four exchange uneasy glances. Finally, Green speaks up.

“Blue Maiden,” he says, “where is Princess Zelda?”

“I don’t know,” admits the maiden. “Weak as I am, I can’t sense clearly. But I can faintly sense her spirit… far, far away.”

Green nods, determined. “She’s alive. That’s enough.” It brings Vio relief, too, that this could all still be undone.

“Hold on, Blue Maiden,” says Green. “We’ll be back to save you soon.”

“Be careful, my four heroes.” The maiden closes her eyes tight, as if channeling the little power she has left. “Travel towards the Eastern Sea. I sense another Maiden within the Eastern Temple.”

Vio finds himself nodding, too.

They exit the castle through the dungeons, careful to remain undetected by Shadow Link’s army of monsters. Eventually they reach a path, which according to the sign leads directly from Castle Town to the Eastern Sea. Vio assumes that it’s meant to be followed by traveling merchants, over the course of days.

Red sighs loudly.

“Losing confidence?” Vio asks, almost playfully,.

“Yeah,” says Red, “how’d you know?”

“Because I am you.”

Green stares into the distance, filled with determination. “If Dark Link is our shadow,” he says, “we need to be better to beat him. Be more like father.”

“Yeah,” Vio smirks. “Right now, I’d give us a 50/50 chance.”

“But if we restore the sword we’ll get stronger!” says Red. “And if we can learn some teamwork—”

Blue scoffs, cutting him off. “I don’t care what it takes, we’re doing it.”

Green’s eyes sparkle in the daylight as he addresses his teammates. Vio can’t help but feel a little inspired. “Then it’s decided,” their leader announces. “Let’s go!”

─────────────────

“You’re late,” Vaati tells Shadow as he shuts the door behind him. The one-eyed demon waits at the far end of the conference table, as usual, scrutinizing the shade as he plops down into his own seat.

Steadying his heart, Shadow rolls his eyes. Reclines slightly, enough to slam his boots onto the table. Shoots Vaati a self-satisfied grin. “Sorry, I was busy. Doing things, in my body.”

Vaati’s eye narrows. The Wind Mage may now be free in the world of light, but he still lacks a corporeal form.

“You’re welcome, by the way,” Shadow adds. “For breaking the seal.”

“Don’t congratulate yourself just yet.”

The air in the dark room begins to crackle, an occurrence Shadow immediately recognizes. He removes his boots from the table and stiffens his posture.

“Can you hear me?” asks the voice of Ganon, projected from some kind of unreachable void. Shadow isn’t exactly sure how Ganon’s remote oversight works. All he knows is that Ganon created him, Ganon’s will is truth, and Ganon will appear to him only when the time is right.

Not that Shadow cares, or anything.

“We can hear you,” sighs Vaati.

“I can’t hear you.”

“Do you have us on mute?” Shadow asks, helpfully.

Vaati scoffs. “He just said he can’t hear you.” Shadow just shrugs.

“I think I have you on mute,” says Ganon. “Hold on, this is—ah. Yes, I see.”

Vaati and Shadow lock eyes, unsure who should speak first.

“I still can’t hear you,” Ganon repeats, frustrated.

“Lord Ganon,” Vaati finally says, “we are both here.”

“There you are. Excellent.”

Shadow preens under his approval. “My Lord, I have good news. The Wind Mage has been successfully freed, and the Four Sword drawn. Princess Zelda is in our clutches. Hyrule Castle has been overtaken by our forces.”

“Our clutches? Our forces?”

Shadow winces. “Yours, My Lord.”

Ganon pauses for a moment. Shadow grips the edge of the table. “It seems you are serving your purpose, Shadow Link.”

Shadow grins. “You should have seen it, Link’s father was so fooled. And the four heroes—”

“Are dead?” interrupts Ganon, and Shadow’s heart falls.

“Not… as such.”

“Explain yourself, Shadow Link.”

Shadow deliberates each word before it leaves his mouth. “They had assistance, my Lord. The Blue Maiden, while contained, used her remaining light magic to repel my presence and transport them to safety.”

“I see.”

Shadow braces himself for his creator’s disapproval.

“Because the heroes survive,” Ganon says, “they pose a great danger to you.”

Shadow hangs his head. “I’m sorry, I can’t control how I—”

“You are not the perfect being I sought to create, Shadow Link. You are inherently flawed, weak to the light.”

And now the heroes know it too, Shadow realizes, ashamed. Despite all of his prior gleeful theatrics, he hadn’t even considered acting unbothered by the light. Not when it scared him so much, not when it caught his so off-guard. Pathetic.

“However,” continues Ganon, “your failure is not in your weakness.”

Shadow’s breath hitches. “It isn’t?”

“Your failure is in your admittance of defeat. You have the power of darkness at your disposal—use it wisely.”

Shadow takes a deep breath and nods. “Yes, my Lord.”

“You will need to travel in darkness to defeat them,” Ganon instructs. “Do not attempt to approach the heroes during the daytime.”

“But then how am I supposed to—”

“Have patience. Observe. Prevent the four heroes from gaining power, but do not make yourself vulnerable again.”

Shadow’s palms itch. He’s not a delegator, and patience is not one of his virtues. There’s no place for theatricality in this mission. It doesn’t sound fun.

“I won’t disappoint you,” Shadow reassures his creator, already plotting ways to disrupt the heroes’ journey. He could still make this fun. He could succeed, despite his weakness. He isn’t a perfect creation, but he can still be the next best thing.

Or would he be the next worst thing, considering the evil of it all?

“Your supervision is appreciated,” Ganon tells Vaati. “And Shadow Link—”

“Yes?”

“I am… proud of what you have accomplished. I look forward to your future successes.”

Shadow breaks out into an almost childish smile. “Thank you, my Lord!”

Ganon doesn’t respond, but his presence still lingers. Vaati and Shadow exchange a tired glance.

“You have to end the call,” sighs the Wind Mage. “Sir.”

“Right,” says Ganon, admitting no fault of his own. “Meeting adjourned.”

#my writing #four swords #shadow link #vio link #blue link #red link #green link #vaati #fsa #four swords manga #fs

[paintingformike]

its actually really easy to see why the feelings that will expressed in the van scene dont apply to el. cause while both el and will have similar sentiments about feeling different and alienated because of their identity, the direction of their arcs/how they’re made to achieve peace with their respective inner conflicts are contradictory to each other.

will was meant to realize that actually, him being different isnt a bad thing. he was made to see his queerness in a positive light and mike even made him feel like he was better for it. different = good. but el’s case isn’t the same, cause she wanted to get rid of the sentiment that she was different. just because she’s a superpowered girl doesn’t mean she isn’t just human like the rest, and also, she doesn’t want to feel like her powers make her better, that’s the whole point, she felt like she needed to keep up her role of being a superhero to be loved or to be important, and obviously putting her on a pedestal (like mike did) would reinforce these feelings.

to make it clear, this is literally how the van scene sounds like if you see it as both el and will’s genuine feelings for mike.

will: you make me feel like i’m not a mistake at all. like i’m better for being [gay].

el: you make me feel like i’m not a mistake at all. like i’m better for being [a superhero].

notice how seeing it through the lens of el sounds weird? she’s better for being a superhero? it literally directly contradicts el’s true feelings. she never felt like being a superhero/having powers made her better, in fact, it made her feel even more alienated. thats the whole point, she never wanted to be seen as different in the first place.

by the way i’ve talked about this before but it wasn’t as in depth, but connecting this part of the van scene to the monologue adds so much context to why mike said the things he said. will told mike that el felt like she was better for being different (aka being a superhero unlike the rest) thanks to him, right? it led to mike emphasizing her superhero role and the things he believed she was able to do beyond other human beings (you can fly you can move mountains) in the monologue, cause he was made to believe that these things did make her feel like a better person, even though it couldn’t be more opposite to what el has always tried to convey to mike. mike believing will’s lie and deciding to put his full trust in him is what made him say all the wrong things in the monologue, and that’s why the painting lie was set up to doom mleven’s relationship.

#i completely forgot about this but once i remembered it its like i had another epiphany #its so painfully obvious that mike used will’s words as his basis for the monologue #and willel’s respectives arcs are different from each other at their core #i just love being correct 😁 #byler #will byers #el hopper #byler analysis

[blackfemmecharacterdependency]

They Should Have Never Given You the Word “Queerbait”

It’s been 5 years and I’m still thinking about this, so now I am going to vent a bit. I hate when there is a Black female protagonist who is queer coded and seemingly in a slow burn setting, and the viewers flag it as queerbait and disengage.

I feel like I have seen so many shows where people can take a character who is never even suggestively queer and nit pick even the smallest glimmers to validate reading them as such and they will be able to ship and create and support all of the ways this is a queer character and trust the writers to possibly give more. 

But, when there are Black women in these areas, it falls down as soon as they aren’t given overt displays of wlw actions. I said its been 5 years, because I’m specifically thinking about Kiss Me First, but I also want to hit on Crazyhead, while I’m here because I feel like it got paid the same treatment in this regard. And both of those shows had such good writing, and as a Black queer woman WITH mental illness, both of these characters spoke to me and seeing them have potential for love stories for wlw stories was so rewarding, only to see the journey get bashed and the shows get cancelled. 

So. Let me talk a minute. Starting with Kiss Me First.  If you haven’t already watched it, you probably aren’t going to, so I’m not sparing potential “spoilers,” as I’ve said, its been 5 years.

Kiss Me First centers around this dynamic of an orphan, Leila, who recently lost her mom and is getting attached to a woman, Tess, that she met in this computer universe, who she also has befriended irl. Leila and Tess start off with some mystery, as you can’t tell what Tess’ intentions are for this woman, but you see very early on that Leila doesn’t necessarily trust people that are in Tess’ life. When Leila realizes that the person who Tess seems to care about the most is a dangerous and manipulative person, she does everything that she can to protect her.

The criticisms of the show were that people were “queerbaited” with the relationship between them because of the romantic and sexual relationships that these characters had with men and not with each other...

This is what is frustrating to me: So much of this series is realistic, INCLUDING the story arcs where these women are in relationships with men that don’t really serve them best. Real life queer people frequently have relationships with partners that they don’t really belong with before finding the love that they had been seeking. But, the moment it happens in media, especially with a Black woman, it is unbearable for audiences. They gotta see her eating box, or it ain’t real.

And it’s aggravating, because there is this fairy tale happening in which Leila literally is on a quest to save Tess. She knows that this guy is dangerous and her entire goal becomes making sure she rescues Tess from him. He lifts Tess on a pedestal and makes her feel like she is the most important person, but he is actually an abuser and preying upon this group that idolizes him, so Leila spends episodes working to get Tess out of his grasp.

In the end, they aren’t IN a queer relationship, but she has absolutely freed Tess and Tess is helping her to escape being framed by the enemy. They are “friends,” but if you have a queer eye, and are not racist, you’d be able to see that this is and was the entire time a fucking love story between these two women! If anything, they tossed in some dudes for the straights to pay attention. I’m livid every time somebody suggests that Kiss Me First is queerbait. To you, but not my Black, gay, bipolar ass. I loved it. I wanted to see them flourish. I wanted to be given the payoff, yes. But, I loved being able to see a beautiful love story between two fucked up people who were side by side at the end.

This happened in Crazyhead, as well.

Raquel is a target for an apocalypse and do you know how Amy saved her and the world? By telling her she loved her and giving her a kiss that brought her back from the brink of destruction...

Now... I will admit, the writers did a “no homo” type thing at the end... but the homo in me seen the homo in thee, so I wasn’t bothered by that. 

I just think that it is an unfair measurement, to expect everything to be served up for you in order to support representation, and not being able to detect subtext or to envision the potential coding shows a huge amount of privilege. I adore the fact that so much queer content as of late gets spoonfed to you, but I also enjoy a slow burn, and it’s not right that Black queer women rarely get one because you give up if there’s not an automatic tonguing and huge declarations. And in the cases of these two shows, there were very clear expressions of love and several moments of intimacy, but I guess they needed to trib for true love. 

Anyways, I love Kiss Me First and Crazyhead, and I consider them representation FOR ME. 

#Kiss Me First #Tess x Leila #Crazyhead #Raquel x Amy #Nesha Rants #black queer representation #black female characters #commentary #Tess KMF #Raquel Francis #Simona Brown #Susan Wokoma #Disability Pride Month