#both keep trying to convince me their weird guy is attractive but im not buying it

[bedtimebrain]

EXO Chanyeol: Oppa?

First Chanyeol Scenario! And have you heard his ‘Without You’ ? Damn it got me stunned when i listened, i didnt know it was going to be the one by Mariah Carey. I mean ofc chanyeol doesn’t speak perfect English but what can get more attractive than him playing the electric guitar😭 His film’s gna be released globally soon, wish him the best! 

Also I took so long to write this, that by the time i’m done, he has enlisted:,) Sigh, Chanyeol, see you the 27th of every month!

Characters: Chanyeol x reader

You caught Chanyeol’s attention, but… You’re not so into rowdy guys. How will it turn out?

Ding Dong!

You were outside EXO’s dorm with a bottle of Cola. You didn’t really know EXO, in fact you only actually knew Jongin. The story goes where one night you saw a really sick man swaying side to side along the streets. Being the nice and kind soul you were, you went up to help. And that person turns out to be jongin, which at that point you didn’t know was an EXO member until much later when your friend showed you an EXO poster.

You helped him to the apartment building and you left your number with him out of worry because he insisted he head up alone. After that you guys somewhat became friends. And ever since you knew he was a celebrity, you occasionally ran errands for him just to save him some trouble.

‘Annyeong y/n! Thanks for buying the cola!’

‘Sure Jongin oppa! I’ll be leaving then !’

‘WAIT!!!’

Just as you were about to leave, a shout came from inside the house 

‘Annyeong Jongin Chingu! Are you free? Wanna join us? I wanted to play a 2v2 switch game but we are short of 1 person. THERE’S PIZZA HERE TOO, ARE YOU INTERESTED?!’

Honestly, you haven’t even spoken once with chanyeol but here he is, trying to aggressively convince you to play games together. Not exactly an extrovert yourself, that overpowering energy was quite a turn off for you. You raised a brow at Jongin, trying to ask him to get you out of this situation

‘Erm.. Actually, i...’ In your mind ran a 1000 different thoughts on what’s the best way to politely reject this but you just couldn’t think of any, just then jongin finally cut in, only to say

‘Yeh come join us! It’s going to be fun, plus I’m sure you haven’t eaten dinner too’

Although you were a still a little reluctant, you relented for the sake of Jongin and entered the house. Seeing Sehun was also in the house, you both greeted each other politely and you proceed to sit quietly by the dining table. 

‘LET’S EAT QUICK CANT WAIT TO TRY THE NEW GAME’ Chanyeol just sounded overly excited about this. 

Over dinner, Chanyeol in particular was really friendly with you, probably just trying to make you feel comfortable as he tried to get to know you. But after a while, the conversation floats back to him talking about himself. You weren’t complaining though.

‘Okay so that day..’ Chanyeol begun his 5th or 6th anecdote during the dinner but couldn’t stop laughing before he could even get started on it.

He was laughing so hard he started hitting jongin beside him and his exaggerated movements actually hit the table so hard it toppled your coke glass over onto you

‘oh my gawd!’ you reacted in reflex and got up immediately from your chair.

‘HYUNG! SERIOUSLY?!’ Jongin reacted with shock then laughter. He quickly passed you some tissue 

‘Let’s just clean up right now and start the games’ Sehun added calmly 

‘Y/N I’M SO SORRY. LET ME GET YOU SOMETHING TO CHANGE INTO, IM SO SORRY’ 

You could tell Chanyeol was really feeling sorry when you saw that panic in his eyes when the coke spilled. Though it’s really weird to be wearing some other guy’s clothes when you just knew him for hours, you couldn’t be possibly telling him you would only wear jongin’s and not his... So you followed him to grab something to change into 

Stepping into his room you can’t help but get abit wide eyed. His room was almost like what you would imagine a musician’s to be. Guitar, piano, bass, iMac, subwoofer etc. You were so amazed you couldn’t stop glancing around as he tries to uncover some clothes from the depths of his cabinet.

Finally finding it, chanyeol turned around and caught how your face literally wrote ‘amazement’,  he couldn’t help but laughed beneath his breath before handing a sweater to you.

‘Why do you look so amazed? Your expression made it look like you just walked into a museum.’ Chanyeol asked

You felt embarrassed from his question and was absolutely tongue tied. Looking towards the corner of the room you caught sight of a basketball and a miniature basketball hoop. You quickly switched the topic

‘um you play basketball too?’

‘Yes I do! Like in my free time, once in a while. Outdoor activities keep me sane when I feel like I need a break, apart from jamming of course, as you can see. Why, do u play too?’

‘Oh I see, haha. And yes I play basketball too.’

‘I wasn’t expecting that! You really dont look like it though! What’s...’ before he could finish his sentence, jongin came into the room to check on you.

Breaking off that small talk with chanyeol, you changed out of your dirty top into the sweater. Sigh, the game hasn’t even started but you were almost already drained. 

—-

2 hours into the game, you were getting really really sucked out of energy. Looking at chanyeol still so engrossed in the game, you wonder how could he still remain so fired up.

Just then the bell rang and the boys looked at each other, 

‘Who’s that? Any of you got delivery ?’ Sehun asked as he walked towards the door. Looking through the peek hole before opening the door.

‘Ah Suho Hyung, why did you not open the door on your own’ Sehun asked

‘I left them in the car, too lazy to grab it. Oh, hi y/n, what you doing here?’

Feeling really tired now, your honesty got the better of you and you replied without thinking 

‘Hi Suho-ssi, I got called to play some games, but now i’m stuck here’

‘Ya, you punks , it’s really late now you know. It’s way past 1030, Y/N still needs to walk home. Just shut off the game right now.

And Chanyeol didn’t you say you were meeting your high school friends tonight?’

At this Chanyeol loudly cursed then exclaimed

‘AH RIGHT I FORGOT! I GOT TO GET CHANGED NOW’ 

Phew, Suho surely is a life savior. More than happy to be out of this situation, you quickly packed your stuff and thanked the boys

‘I’ll be leaving, thanks for having me today and the free pizza.I had fun. Jong-in oppa please tell Chanyeol ssi i’ll wash his sweater before returning to him.’

At the same time chanyeol came out from his room hastily,

‘Y/N wait for me! Let’s leave together!’

You would have preferred having some quiet time by yourself right now, but you didn’t want to make things awkward by saying no. Seeing how Chanyeol got comfortable with people so quickly was beyond your understanding.

You were always took really long to warm up to new people unless you could really click with them, just like jongin.

‘Ah thanks for waiting, let’s go! Where do you stay? Is it near?’

Trying your best at a comfortable and casual tone, you replied ‘Uh yes it’s just about 5 to 10 minutes away if I walk. Where you going to?’

‘Oh just meeting my friends for supper. Let me walk you home since it’s not too far, anyway my friends are still on the way

So you were saying you play basketball do u watch nba or something ? What position do you play’ Chanyeol naturally strike a conversation with you

‘I DONT really follow, but yeh I check out the highlights and stuff. I play the Center position’

‘SERIOUS?! YOU’RE NOT VERY BUILT FOR A CENTER!’ You must be really good then!’ Chanyeol seemed to genuinely be amazed 

Chuckling a little, you just shrugged and said

‘Erm yeh but the coach just thinks I’m pretty tough I guess.’

‘Oh and i heard from jong-in you didn’t know EXO until recently, so what music do you like ?’

Feeling a little self conscious about the fact that a musician is here asking you bout your music taste, you answered hesitantly

‘ R&B, acoustics, ballads , those sort? Ed Sheeren , AKMU and some other English oldies’

‘Then do you know ‘Without you’ by Mariah Cary? I’ve been listening to it lately and it’s been stuck in my head!’

Laughing at how random that was, you softly started singing along with him as he started. 

At this hour of the day, at about 11 pm your mind isn’t too functional to overthink, you felt like you were loosening up towards him. Though he was a little too over enthusiastic and animated, you somehow liked that he seemed to have this innocence to him.

Just as your short jam ended, you have also reached your apartment

‘I’ve reached! Thanks for walking me back. Bye, drive safely later!’

You flashed a smile, bowed politely and was ready to head in, but chanyeol actually called out before you could head off

‘y/n! Wanna exchange numbers? We could go shoot some hoops at arcade someday or just ball.’

You were not too keen actually, wanting to just keep your relationship with him as simply acquaintances.  Thinking bout how to put the rejection across nicely , you said

‘Oh, thanks for offering. But I’m really not a night person . And you know, you guys being EXO and got to be stealthy , everything goes on at night. Really not my thing though, I don’t think we can ever match a time.’

But turns out he was more insistent than you thought

‘Oh then I could invite you for games or a jam session ! I wouldn’t say we have exactly similar tastes in music but I do like the music you listen to and you sound great singing!’

That made you blush a little , partly embarrassment partly being shy at his straightforward words.

‘It’s fine chanyeol-ssi, I’ll just see you at your dorm when I pass by to see Jongin oppa and return your sweater. Bye’

—-

For the next 2 weeks, you somehow got more frequent calls from Jongin to run errands for him. But when you turned up at their dorms and Chanyeol was in, he would either be the one to get the door or be inviting you in for whatever they were doing. 

Today afternoon, you were over at their dorms again, but just with jongin and chanyeol. You had bought tteokbokki and corndog for yourself and decided to buy some for EXO too, but turns out it was just the 2 that were in. 

‘ah, y/n thanks for the food. i’m going to change and leave for dance practice soon’ 

‘you’re welcome jongin oppa, i’ll leave soon too’

just as jongin headed to the room, chanyeol took the chance to ask

‘y/n are you free? Do you want to hangout together instead? Since i’m free today and you’re already here.’ Chanyeol asked expectantly. 

You were already much more comfortable with him, but together in the house? You wouldn’t even with Jongin.

‘Erm, Chanyeol-ssi, it’s okay. I’m not too comfortable staying in the house with another guy ..’ you said it hesitantly, feeling a little bad for rejecting him. 

‘Oh actually, I meant to head out, there’s this place which I thought both of us will like’

oh shucks, that was embarrassing. In an attempt to cover up your embarrassment, you laughed abit harder than you should and agreed more enthusiastic than you would normally

‘OH ! HAHA! Ok, sure then let’s go!’

Almost instantly, you saw Chanyeol’s eyes brighten up. He got up immediately got changed and you both headed out.

—

In the car ride, you finally calmed your senses down and became sane enough to realise

‘Chanyeol-ssi it’s still pretty early right? Wouldn’t you heading out with me like this be really dangerous?’

Stopping his incessant rap and singing ever since you got in his car, he replied

‘There’s this arcade I used to go to when I was a student. It’s really old now and no one really goes there anymore. It closes around 5pm everyday , but I know the boss! I’m gonna ask him to just let us use the place for a short while’

With one hand on the steering wheel, he looked at you and was bubbling with excitement as he explained. You laughed seeing how excited he was, somehow also making you look forward to the fun to come.

Being really chatty as usual, he spoke the whole ride about anything and everything, slowly without even knowing, you dozed off.

The next moment you woke up, the sun was already starting to set and you’ve both reached the arcade, which was on the second floor along a shophouse street.

It looked so rundown and shady from the outside. The signboard was unlit and had completely yellowed. The window panes were blue tainted and so dusty you could see the dust from the streets.

‘Chanyeol Ssi are you sure about this? Please don’t bring me to a haunted house’

‘Ya, trust me, you’ll be surprised’

Together you headed towards the dark staircase that led you guys to the arcade. You struggled to catch up with his pace as he went up the stairs. The narrow and unlit staircase made you so jumpy that when the lights suddenly came on, you quickly latched your hand onto chanyeol’s sleeves without thinking.

Laughing at how scared you were, chanyeol slowed down his pace, walking side by side with you instead.

‘Why you so scared! We’re reaching soon, don’t worry, it’s hella cool place!’

Not really having the capacity to respond now, you continued holding on to his sleeves until you reached the end of the stairs.

Letting go, you awkwardly said thanks and entered the arcade, finding that it was certainly better than you thought but not fantastic.

‘Lee Soo Hyung! I brought my friend here today , could you let us use for about an hour + after you close?’

‘Chanyeol ah! It’s been a while! After all these years I finally see you with a girl. Hello Agassi, why did you come here with him? Be careful he doesn’t slaughter you like how he does when he plays games with his friends’

Not knowing to whether tears of joy or sadness would fit this situation, you raised your brows at chanyeol.

‘Alright I’ll leave this place to you guys, I’ll be back in about 2 hours after I eat and run my errands’

-

2 hours passed by in a flash. And you sure had lots of fun, shooting hoops, playing Daytona, Mario kart , and even challenging him to dance on pump it up. All of which u lost rather miserably cause you were just horrendous at games.

As you both left the arcade, you thought back in realisation that you didn’t see that annoying over competitiveness today in him today. Instead it felt Chanyeol wanted to make it fun for the both of you rather than winning you.

Internally feeling a little touched about this, you thought to subtly show your gratitude by treating him later.

Walking out of the stairs to the streets, you saw Baskin Robbins just right across, below a dancing school.

‘Chanyeol ssi! Let me buy you ice cream ok! Let’s cross the road to Baskin Robbins’

‘Haha, y/n why the sudden treat? I’m not complaining though, I want Choco mint in a cone’

You went into the shop and placed the order for the ice cream. But when you came out, there was a commotion right outside the shop and realised chanyeol was in ‘trouble’. 

You panicked internally , where did the fangirls come from? They all surrounded chanyeol and were squealing and asking for pictures.

You headed back into baskin Robbins, not too sure what you should do. It’s not going to turn out well if he is seen with you.. Should you head off first? Or should you help him?

With one hand holding on nervously to the ice cream you looked intently at the situation outside, with a total mind blank.

Only about 15minutes later, you saw chanyeol managed to escape back to his car as the crowd in this secluded area eventually died down.

You didn’t head out to find him, worried that if any Fangirls were left, you would land him in trouble.

You stayed at in the shop, looking at the melted ice cream you bought for him, should you just dump this away? Do you head off yourself soon?

Just then a call came in

‘Y/N! Where are you? I’m so sorry I got caught by those dance school girls. Are you alright ? Where did you go ? In case you’re wondering, i got your number from jongin to contact you’

‘Chanyeol -ssi...? Are u ok? I’m just waiting at baskin robbins .. just head home without me, I’ll just find my way back..’ feeling still at loss about the situation, you replied with a heavy heart

‘Ah, no, just head down to the alley behind I’ll pick you up from there. This place is too secluded , I’m not going to leave you here alone’

‘But ..’

‘Just meet me there’

Feeling down and guilty that this was kind of your fault. You walked mindlessly to the alley with the half melted ice cream. If it were not for you, chanyeol wouldn’t even be heading out in the afternoon right?

As you entered the car, you kept quiet not really knowing what to say. But Chanyeol started apologising repeatedly, and telling you about the whole situation earlier

But all that ran through your mind was how risky the situation was and how bad you felt. You were still quite in shock as you processed that just happened

‘Chanyeol ssi, why did you bring me out today? Seeing that made me realise the severity of how dangerous it could have been for you if you were caught together with me.. and I can’t help but feel it’s my fault you got surrounded by those fan girls..’

Pausing before continuing, you added

‘Let’s never do this again. I’m really sorry’

‘Don’t be sorry, i am not even blaming you or anything! Plus i was the one who wanted us to hang outside together. I knew this might happen, but i still wanted to have fun with you’

‘Why Chanyeol-ssi?’

Without thinking, he answered almost immediately 

‘Because i just find you cute’ 

You blanked out completely as those words, you could feel blood rushing through your cheeks. 

You started externally processing your thoughts out of nervousness and panic

‘i know this sounds ridiculous but are you like interested in me? i know i am blushing like mad right now but im not really into loud guys. and though i had lots of fun with you just now i think you should just give up if you are even thinking of anything’ you went on rambling not even knowing what in the world you just said

He looked at you seeming to have something to say. But then looked at the messy ice cream and decided to reached for it instead.

‘thank you for this ice cream, and y/n whatever you said…honestly, can i just have 1 thing from you?’

‘uh what is it?’

‘can you just call me Chanyeol Oppa instead?’

Your heart skipped a beat at what he said and you could feel his gaze was still on you.

After a few moments of silence that hung heavy in the air, you shyly and softly asked

‘Chanyeol oppa shall we go back now?’

Still feeling shy to look at him, you stole a glance at the rear view mirror and saw Chanyeol smile the widest smile you have ever seen since you guys met. 

Finishing off the ice cream, he started the engine, ready to drive off. But before stepping the accelerator, he looked up at the rear view mirror and you both caught each other’s eyes and both looked away almost immediately smiling shyly when your eyes met briefly. 

As the car speeded off, you kept your eyes on the side view mirror, and you were glad you weren’t the only one smiling like an idiot the whole ride back. 

Was this a little boring? I read through it multiple times and can’t really tell anymore. i hope it was fun for you guys who read it for the first time~ though i must admit if i read a fanfic with such an ending i might feel lowkey unsatisfied :p

#chanyeol #loey #park chanyeol #exo #exo scenarios #chanyeol scenarios #exo scenario #chanyeol scenario #exo park chanyeol #exo chanyeol #exo fanfic #chanyeol fanfic #the box

[mithranqueersmusings]

Before This Dance Is Through V

Chapter: 5/16

Rating: M (Smut Warning)

Summary: Ringo's being going through a dry spell for the last year or so and when he regretfully tells his best friend John, he insists on taking them to an all-male strip club for some "fun". Ringo isn't sure whether it's the alcohol, his desperation or a mixture of the two but he thinks he might be falling in love with a stripper.

Tags: AU - Strippers, Modern Setting, Smut, Slow Burn

Pairings: George Harrison/Ringo Starr, John Lennon/Paul McCartney

AO3 link here / Fic masterlist here

Despite what John had suggested, Ringo didn't go back to The Helter Skelter the following week; he'd considered it when John sent him yet another late night text but ultimately decided it wasn't the best idea. Spike had been playing on his mind daily and Ringo wasn't sure he was prepared to face him again. Instead he focused on his drumming and searched for a few more students to teach, which were fairly easy to find. Usually Ringo enjoyed his time off, he understood he was lucky that he didn't have to work a 9-5 job just to get by, but recently he wanted his fill his time up as much as possible, to distract himself.

One of his new students seemed incredibly interested in him, they'd spent an hour just chatting in his living room before they'd even moved over to the drum kit. Ringo wasn't too fussed, he was getting paid by the hour so wasting time was beneficial to him but he didn't want to give the guy the wrong impression. He was a little bit older and attractive enough but Ringo simply wasn't interested.

"Why didn't you just go for it?" John had asked him when they next met up.

"I dunno..." Ringo mumbled, but a part of him knew very well.

He'd given the guy another lesson since then and it became clear that the guy's interest in him wasn't going away any time soon. Ringo felt bad about the whole thing, wasn't he just doing exactly what Spike was doing to him? He tried to act as professional as possible the second time around in attempt to get the guy to back off, considering he hadn't heard from him since he was hoping it had worked. What was wrong with him? Was he really going to make himself suffer like this all because of one guy? And not just any guy, a stripper who had shown absolutely no interest in him at all. It was ridiculous, he kept telling himself, but no matter how much he tried to convince himself that he had to get over Spike, he would still think about him every day without fail. Trying to distract himself with clients had been working somewhat, but it had been difficult, especially when his best friend was John Lennon.

       youre gonna love me

The text came through when Ringo was sat in a café getting some lunch. He'd finished with one of his younger students, a sweet girl who's parents had tried to convince her to try a more 'ladylike' instrument but she had promised only to give up the drums if she was awful; much to her delight, and Ringo's for being able to prove the stereotypical parents wrong, she was pretty good. Seeing her always put Ringo in a good mood, the parents mostly stayed away partly due to the noise but mostly due to disappointment, which meant they could joke around together. Ringo could tell she admired him and he welcomed it gladly, one of the best things about teaching was inspiring others, at least for him it was.

        do i not already?

        well yes         but youre gonna love me EVEN more

        what have you done

        well i happened to stop by the club last night

        oh god what did you do

        wow is that how little you trust me

        can you blame me

        suppose not         ANYWAY i got talking to paulie

        surprise surprise

        do you want the good news or not???

        fine fine sorry

        AS I WAS SAYING i was talking to paulie         and he told me that your special little someone has an onlyfans account

        first of all fuck you for calling him that         second of all wtf is onlyfans

        oh sorry i didnt realise you werent living in the 21st century

        ......         care to grace me with your knowledge?

        basically its a website where you can post exclusive stuff for ONLY FANS to see         its not a porn site or anything but its basically where people sell their nudes         MEANING spike has an account so you can totally see loads of raunchy filthy perverted pics of him

        but i have to pay?

        well weve all gotta make a living

        i can basically see him naked for free

        but this way you wont get all freaked out and embarrassed         well you will but nobody will know at least         so do you want the link or not???

Ringo paused for a few moments, he was gripping his phone tightly in both of his hands as he unblinkingly looked at John's words. If his mind was going to decide to make him suffer by enabling his intense interest in Spike, he may as well get something out of it.

        fine

        where are your manners richard??

        can i please have the link to the strippers nude photos please john please

        alright calm down         let me know if its worth while i might have a look

        idk if im even gonna look at it         paying for porn is a little dated

        treat yourself ringo         id offer to pay but im broke

        if youre broke why were you at the strip club last night?

        well SOMEONE had to go

        they really didnt

        im supporting my local economy

        i dont think thats how that works

        sure it is         anyway here you go

Ringo stared at the link for a while, his eyes even began to blur, he didn't want to risk opening it in public even though he knew there was little chance of anyone seeing. He finished his lunch in a hurry and headed home quickly, only when he was in the privacy of his bedroom did he dare open it. First he had to make an account, when he saw the screen loading up asking for an email address and password he just turned his screen off and put the phone down. This was far too much effort for something he shouldn't really have been doing in the first place. But it only took a few minutes for him to pick the phone back up and begin signing up, he used an old email as it felt less seedy that way and he didn't want to risk his name cropping up anywhere for Spike to see. Now he could load up the link properly and take a proper look at Spike's profile.

Just looking at the small profile picture was enough to startle Ringo a little, the dark eyes looking into the camera with that unreadable glimmer behind them. He was shirtless in the picture, Ringo wondered why that didn't catch his attention first, with the frame cutting off just before it showed anything too explicit. The header was a photo taken from the club, showing him in tight, leather pants and tassels on his nipples which matched the whip he held in his hand. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. He'd spent so much time and effort trying not to think about this man, attempting to keep him out of his mind as much as possible. Ringo knew that if he went through with this all that progress would be lost, he'd be giving in to whatever strange obsession he'd developed for Spike, one that no doubt wasn't going to lead to anything good.

Ringo kept staring at the screen as though it was going to tell him what he should do. Spike's profile had no description, which wasn't very surprising, and it dashed any hope Ringo had of discovering something new about him. Right before he was about to put his phone down again, it vibrated.

        howd the wank go??

        john i dont care how long weve been friends asking how my wank was will always be weird

        youre right sorry         so how did it go???

        if you must know         i havent had a wank         i havent even paid for entry

        now whos the one being inappropriate??

        ha ha

        why havent you???

        feels weird

        oh i see         youll consume a bunch of unethical porn for free but god forbid you actually give sex workers any actual money

        you are the last person who can lecture me about unethical porn

        hey now watch yourself         ringo if you dont get a subscription I WILL

        go ahead

        and ill tell you every day what sexy sexy pictures hes posting         ill tell you EVERY SINGLE TIME i have a wank over them

        every time? i dont think youve got enough data for that

        im not joking

        neither am i         you wank A LOT

        ringooooo just buy it i swear to god         if its not worth it or you regret it or whatever ill give you the money back

        on top of the money you already owe me?

        have you always been such a capitalist

        youre not doing a very good job of convincing me

        fine         spikes cock         now are you convinced???

        maybe

        naked pictures of spike whenever and wherever you want them all for the low low price of 10 quid a month         convinced??

        fine fine         if itll shut you up

        im starting to think thats code for 'i really wanna do this but im too embarrassed to admit it'

        i hate you

        now that DEFINITELY code for 'john youre right'         anyway theres no time to be telling me how right i am all the time youve got dick pics to look at         even i wont stand in the way of a good wank         so dont bother replying to me until youve paid for that subscription young man

        im older than you

        DONT BOTHER REPLYING

Ringo let out a sigh and rested his head against the bedroom wall from where he was laying on the bed. He opened up the link again and his thumb hovered over the subscription button, why couldn't he just do it? The money wasn't an issue, it could've cost half as much or be double the price and he'd still be debating it all the same. Somehow it felt like an invasion of privacy, after all Spike hadn't told Ringo about it himself, but then again that didn't necessarily mean he didn't want Ringo to see it. After all it was like John said: everyone has to make a living somehow. Sometimes Ringo wished he could turn off that part of his brain that was so empathetic, so concerned about how everyone felt and what they were thinking. He knew that he wanted this, so why wasn't he allowing himself to have it? Ringo could see that he was being ridiculous, as he was with almost anything involving Spike, and after lying there for a while pondering and debating he decided to flip a coin. Heads would mean he got the subscription, tails that he didn't. He watched the coin spinning through the air after he flicked it upwards, then snatched it and slammed it down onto his forearm before slowly moving his hand away: it was tails. What a relief. Ringo chuckled to himself for being so foolish, settling down into his bed; it was still only around midday but he didn't have anywhere he needed to be.

So why didn't he feel relieved in the slightest?

This whole thing was getting tiring, the constant debate between what he believed he should do and what he wanted to do, and it seemed like it wasn't going to be ending anytime soon. Apparently he was in this for the long run, whatever that meant, but if he was going to turn down relatively attractive guys practically throwing themselves at him, he may as well go all the way. While he was putting in his credit card information, he stopped to think around three of four times, but once he'd finished and the images became accessible to him, his brain was barely able to conjure up a coherent sentence.

"Jesus..." Ringo breathed out as his eyes flicked across the plethora of pictures loading up on his screen.

There was a lot of them, and a lot of Spike was on display. Most of them were pictures taken at the club, either from a professional photographer in the audience or photos he'd taken himself in the mirrors backstage - Ringo could even see glimpses of Paul in the background of some of them. The ones that caught Ringo's eyes the most were those that seemed to be taken in his house, these also happened to be the ones in which Spike tended to be fully naked. It was very different experience to see him like this: a static image that he'd intentionally taken of himself and posted for so many people to see, an image that couldn't look back at Ringo and make him feel that strange mixture of excitement and shame. He began scrolling down the feed which only revealed more and more enticing photos. Ringo began to feel himself hardening, he suspected it had been happening for a while now but he'd been far too distracted to notice. He felt like a teenager discovering porn for the first time, it was difficult to remind himself that this wasn't anything new. Seeing Spike naked shouldn't have excited him so much, and yet it did.

One picture in particular drew Ringo's attention: Spike was stood in front of a bathroom mirror with a loose black tie lying against his bare chest, one hand was holding a phone and the other gripping his cock. He had dark eye make up on and his hair was messy. Ringo wasn't sure exactly what it was about this photo that was so enticing but he couldn't take his eyes off it. The prominence of his collarbones, the faint curls of his dark hair, how his slim fingers wrapped around himself. Slowly Ringo slid his own hand under the waistband of his boxers as he stared at the picture. At first he hesitated, his fingers stopped right above the base. It's not like this would've been the first time he'd touched himself while thinking about Spike, it would've been far from the last he imagined, but this was different. It was more concrete, more of an admission. Nothing felt quite as real when it's only being imagined, the haziness of lust fuzzing up the mind as it so often did, but now with a very real photo of Spike in front of him - which he'd paid to see - the feeling was far more tangible, far harder to ignore.

He'd come this far, he told himself as his hand sunk lower until his fingers were running along the length of his semi-hard cock, he may as well go all the way. To begin with Ringo stayed looking at this single picture as he slowly pumped himself, but as his lust began to grow he perused through more and more pictures: Spike kneeling naked in front of a mirror with a loose cigarette hanging from his lips, lying in the bath with bubbles only just about covering his nakedness, spread out on the bed with a gag in his mouth, handcuffs forcing his slim arms behind his back with his cock throbbing. None of this was anything Ringo hadn't seen before, like most people in this day and age he'd searched through the darker corners of the internet - sometimes willingly, sometimes John was to blame - but to see Spike in such a way was like an entirely new rush. Each picture drove Ringo further and further on, at times he almost dropped his phone with how sloppy his movements were becoming. Who took these photos? Ringo figured it was best not to think about it, the possibility that Spike had a boyfriend who took all these pictures of him would've been the quickest way to kill his erection.

Ringo began moaning and cursing wantonly as he got closer and closer to his orgasm, he had to stop flicking through the pictures because he could hardly concentrate on what his other hand was doing, so he settled on a final one to help him finish; it wasn't particularly strategic but he was definitely grateful that he selected the one that he did. In it Spike was looking directly into the camera, allowing Ringo to gaze longingly into the rich brown of his eyes and how his dark lashes curled beautifully around them. He was shirtless with nothing but a necklace on, the same necklace that Ringo had seen him wearing in the record store and Ringo couldn't help feeling a sense of satisfaction that he'd seen it with his own eyes, as though it meant something. Deep down he knew that it didn't but his inebriated mind was latching onto it. The nudity in the photo was hardly interesting Ringo by this point, although it would be wrong to say that he completely ignored the flatness of his stomach or the faint shadows of his ribs beneath his pale skin, it was the personal aspect which truly affected him.

This wasn't just lust. Lust Ringo could understand, he could compartmentalise it and give into it without much shame or a second thought. If this was just lust, he would've bought the subscription without a care and touched himself looking at the nakedness of Spike's body as though it meant nothing more than a way to get off. Yet here he was on the brink of orgasm looking into another man's eyes, eyes that felt like they were looking straight back at him as though they were sharing this moment together. It wasn't hard to imagine Spike's hand in place of his own, those deep eyes watching Ringo come undone piece by piece. Ringo's hip began to stutter, his leg twitching a little as he had to drop the phone down onto his lap as his head fell back against his pillow as his orgasm approached. It wasn't the image of Spike's naked body that filled Ringo's mind as he came, it wasn't his arse or his cock or even his chest, it was his face, his voice, it was him.

Ringo lay breathless on his bed for a while, the clarity that arrived as his orgasm subsided wasn't welcome in the slightest and he was reluctant to pick his phone back up to see Spike's eyes looking at him once again. There was no use in feeling ashamed about it, no point in trying to deny it any longer: his feelings for Spike were more than a mere passing fancy, that was clear. Exactly what he was meant to do about these feelings was far from clear but that wasn't something Ringo could figure out right now with cum on his stomach and the daylight seeping through his bedroom curtains.

When he'd picked up his phone he'd closed all the apps immediately, doing his best not to catch a glimpse of what he'd been so eagerly looking at before. Just as he was about to step into the shower to clean himself off, his phone buzzed; he almost couldn't hear it over the music he was blasting out. It alerted him for a moment as though it was going to be a message from Spike stating he knew exactly what Ringo had just done - it wouldn't have really surprised him had that been the case, Spike's face almost always looked like he knew something that nobody else did - but fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, it was John.

        sooo how did the wank go

         who knows          but on a totally unrelated note im about to get into the shower

         well before you do that i have even more good news 

         can it not wait?

         NO because you might cum just at the thought of it and then youd be wasting a good shower

         well arent you considerate          and unnecessarily graphic

         thats me          anyway im taking you to the club next tuesday whether you like it or not

         im still waiting for the good news

         well if youd let me FINISH          next week theyre doing a special event and we just have to go          youll never guess what it is

         what is it?

         guess

         you just said ill never guess

         youre no fun

         WHAT IS IT

         alright alright keep your hair on          its a crossdressing event          high heels make up probably a few wigs all that good stuff

         im still waiting for the good news

         OH COME ON youre telling me you dont want to see spike in heels and fishnets with some lovely lipstick on

Ringo gulped. It wasn't a difficult image to conjure up his mind, considering he'd been staring at photos of Spike for the past twenty minutes and it excited him to say the least. He did want to see that, very much indeed.

#the beatles #beatles #beatles fanfic #the beatles fanfic #beatles fanfiction #george harrison/ringo starr #ringo starr/george harrison #ringo starrxgeorge harrison #george harrisonxringo starr #starrison

[jungnoir]

college boyfriend!jihoon;

for this college boyfriend!jihoon request. i love you

okay so i originally really wanted to do campus dj!woozi because i’ve had this same idea for another boy for about a year but i had hit a rut and i really didn’t know where to go with it until i saw the gifs of woozi at the piano and so piano prodigy!woozi popped into my head and i had a hannah montana moment,,, who said you can’t have the best of both worlds,,

so, right, jihoon comes from a very well off family

not a lot of people except his friends know about it because he never talks about it, ya know? like he’s pretty much grown up all his life faking smiles and learning useless manners to please even more well off families and his parents in the process. it’s just not a part of himself that he likes to share. when people know how much he has, he ends up in the presence of a lot of fake friends and jihoon is really not that kind of person

he loves to have his own small group of close friends who understand him and who can be there for him instead of just having the empty feeling of like,, thousands of instagram followers and no one to air his grievances to

which is why he mainly keeps to himself, and for the most part, his parents allow it

but on one condition: he had to compensate with talent

so when jihoon was really young he found interest in the piano and not a day later he was getting professional lessons from some renowned italian guy that jihoon couldn’t even pronounce the name of

at first, jihoon was really excited to learn because hey!! the piano is such a pretty instrument and it’s so fun to play!! 

but jihoon still has scars and nicks along his knuckles where that piano teacher whacked him with a ruler whenever jihoon even slightly made a mistake

there was no fun ad libs to add to boring songs by mozart and bach and whatcha call ‘em

it made jihoon start to resent the instrument completely

but his parents had forced him to keep up with it and he ended up becoming a really good player well into his high school years, so his parents had made arrangements to let him pick any school he wanted as reward for being good, but he still had to go in with music as his major

and jihoon found the most ordinary, most public, most average school… and he chose to go there as a music major

his parents were super all over the place about it and honestly tried to get him to reconsider, maybe go to juilliard or some other whoop-dee-doo school in another country that was more than willing to accept him but jihoon was like no. you gave me the choice and i wanna go to this school

so his parents relented, thinking that they could allow jihoon to at least live a semi normal life instead of one in prim and proper uniforms with professors who had caviar for lunch and stuff for a few years… right?

and jihoon loves it

he goes all out buying a completely toned down and lazy wardrobe and he convinces his parents with “i want to fit in, of course”

no, it’s just he really fucking hates blazers and loafers lol

he gets to sleep until noon most days, dress in a hoodie and jeans and look about as undone as humanly possible and not have to worry a hair on his head

and since the school isn’t some stuffy prestigious one, he can play piano with little to no reprimanding

to be honest,,, he pretty much shocks his professors with his talent

they’re like?? what do we even teach him??? He knows? Everything????

and all the other piano majors envy him to death, while the other music majors want to duet with him super bad

because,,, guess what’s the final exam,,,,, a duet with another music major

and everybody wants jihoon because he’s like a guaranteed shoo-in to ace the exam

but every time jihoon gets asked to collab he’s always like “uh. can i think about it”

never gets back to them

it’s not that he doesn’t want to collab with anyone really. it’s just that… he hasn’t found the person to click with him, you know? like he can’t be expected to play his best if his partner can’t keep up with him

and trust him, no one in that class that he’d heard could do it

but he’s still got about three months before the exam, and he can easily snag a desperate soul even if they’ve already paired up if he wanted, so he doesn’t sweat too much about it

the great thing about college tho, is that jihoon can do anything he wants and his parents are not obligated to find out about it at all

so one day, he’s just kinda minding his own business and he gets told about this old building on campus where there used to be a campus radio station, but it’s since gone to the dogs bc the dj is so boring and the show only amasses like,,, two followers

the dj and his mom

but the school board really wants to be more modern and hip so they put out an ad for a new dj. the person would ultimately come in on a certain day on a certain week and they’d advertise that dj for the spot. kinda like a contest

that dj would play their playlist and then students would listen in and vote on the campus radio website for which dj they liked best

and jihoon’s friends are always pestering him about it bc they know that besides classical music, jihoon is really passionate about all other genres like pop, hip hop, old school rnb, jazz, you name it

and jihoon has impeccable music taste

so fellow music major and friend vernon convinces him to turn in a playlist, just for fun, to see if it would work

and so jihoon does it, fully expecting nothing to come of it, but he tunes in anyway

and that’s like. the last time he listens to the radio until the contest is well over

he gets a call from the head office and they’re like “congrats!! you won the contest!! you’re the new campus radio dj!!”

and jihoon is like. what

error404jihooncannotcompute

turns out, his playlist was a hit. everybody who listened loved it

and now he’s the official dj on campus

the job is only once a week, every thursday night, and he gets exactly three hours to play music, answer questions from the website if he gets any, and just all around have fun

and since jihoon is in a pretty steady spot with school at the moment, he has no real reason to say no to it

so,,, begrudgingly, he does it

on his first day, he’s got like everything set out, he’s written a detailed schedule for how he’s gonna spend the three hours, and he’s totally planning to just be silent the whole time but the technical operator in the back is like yo! you gotta introduce yourself at least! 

“uh… hey. i’m… dj… woozi. yeah. bye”

and he tries to hide his flushed cheeks as the operator in the back just laughs her ass off at him

but according to the comments on the website, they found that kind of endearing? he doesn’t even really think about the name, it’s just a weird nickname his friends had given him and it was just cute ok

the only people who know he does the dj thing is his friends, cause he really doesn’t want to draw more attention to himself than necessary

like he already gets a lot of attention from being a prodigy so he’d just rather. not. 

but being a dj slowly becomes such a passion of his and he feels so sneaky yet so cool doing both the dj thing and piano

and as long as no one knows? he’s good

now, finally, this is where you come in

you play piano too, but it was a very sudden hobby you had come up with so it was pretty funny to say you were a music major when you just started playing piano like, last summer lol

but don’t underestimate your love for it just because of the fact

your parents had been very supportive of you doing something you loved, and studying music, especially the piano, was something you really wanted to do

it just seemed right to you tbh

and of course you knew lee jihoon, the best piano prodigy on this side of south korea

his skills had no parallel, and he always played with a precise hand that you knew came from years of refined and expensive practice

it made you feel a bit small in comparison, since you liked to play by ear and just have fun with your instrument which was, of course, not a thing you could do when studying it in school

you definitely didn’t want to put your family’s money to waste if you weren’t going to do something you would be proud of and take seriously, so his ability always struck you to be a little jealous, but the kind of jealous that pushed you to work even harder

but in that jealousy there was respect. admiration. jihoon was good and eons better than you but you… you had the perseverance to better yourself

so for a long while, you really just sat back and admired him

and in your wildest dreams, you imagined asking jihoon to be your partner for the duet

everything in you tells you you’re reaching for the stars but as the exam draws closer and closer and jihoon continues to turn down partner after partner, you start to wonder if maybe it was a sign?

working up the courage one day, you find jihoon as your class is filling out one day and you kind of fumble over your words but you get out “will you be mine?”

and at first. jihoon. he obviously misinterprets it

he’s just standing there like a shocked bby like o.O first, he has to turn down partners for the duet and now he has to turn down suitors??? can god leave him alone?

he’s about to come up with something like “you seem nice (you’re actually very attractive wow?) and all but i’m not looking for anyone at the moment”

but then you splutter “that came out wrong! i meant, would you be my partner? for the duet? i should have clarified. im just. im really nervous right now. but i understand if you don’t wanna be my partner! honestly, it’d be an honor to be your partner-” 

and jihoon doesn’t really know what does it. maybe it’s the cute little sparkle in your eyes or the way you frantically move your hands back and forth as you try to explain yourself

but as you’re babbling on and on, he sees something in you that he hadn’t seen in anyone else that had come to ask to be his partner

everyone had either come to him because they had found out that he was a wealthy prodigy or because they wanted to slack and jihoon’s talent could give them the space to do that

you. you just wanted to make music.

he could tell from the way you played when he’d watch the others in his class. he had seen many people go at the piano all rough and demanding of the keys but you had always had a childishness in your eyes that reminded him of something… or someone

you played to have fun, and he envied that about you

so like a light went off in his head, he realized that you were the one

“sure”

you stop mid sentence to look him in the eye, not totally convinced you heard him right

did lee jihoon just say he wanted to be your partner??? for real?? for real for real?????

“oh, uh… wow. i didn’t think you’d say yes.” “are you retracting your request?” “ARE YOU CRAZY HAHA HELL NO”

when people find out that you, the childish piano player had somehow snagged the best prodigy on campus as your partner, everyone is all green eyed 

they really can’t fathom why they weren’t picked tbh. and neither can you

even as you and jihoon train together, you can’t help wondering exactly why he had even given you a chance. like of course you were glad he did but wasn’t there a billion others more qualified than you?

whenever you would try to ask though, jihoon would just reprimand you like “focus on playing, don’t focus on me”

when you two would study together, it was pretty obvious your carefree playing style wouldn’t mesh well with jihoon’s more refined practice, but still, you were determined to make it work whenever he got a little angry at himself for working so hard to make you two fit

he’d sometimes say you two playing together was like forcing two puzzle pieces together that weren’t meant to connect

and yeah, it hurt, but he also wasn’t wrong

still, if it meant forcing your wild mind and jittery hands to play as pristinely as jihoon instructed, you’d do it. because you wanted to be good and he was your ticket for that

and while rare, the moments when you would get jihoon to let loose and play a little carelessly were the most rewarding

he’d shove his jacket sleeves up to his elbows and run a hand through his bleach blond hair (with the dark roots that looked so good on him) and he’d just play to be silly

he’d swear that playing that way was hard for him, but you noticed how naturally his hands flew from key to key like muscle memory, playing a tune a little more unruly than the set score, and the smile he’d so desperately try to hide under his fringe would show no matter what

you really can’t understand why this cute boy doesn’t show his cute side more tbh?? he’s so adorable

but he damn near throws himself off the nearest tall surface every time you say something nice to him

you: wow, you’re really talented

jihoon: *resisting the urge to fall to the ground in a ball and groan* t…thanks

you realize it’s because he gets blushy easily 

and you’d think a kid raised by people constantly telling him how good he is at music would like teach him not to care but literally he’s always so embarrassed getting compliments from you

little do you know he gets blushy because compliments from you mean something completely different than compliments from other people

and you always mean what you say to him and that’s why he’s just so asfkjseofiwjio around you ya know

but it also encourages him to do the same back

so whenever you do something new, even if it’s tiny, if it’s new for you, he goes crazy with the praise

like it’s usually not in his nature but he does his best to make you feel super accomplished and it’s the cutest thing

sometimes he even promises to do aegyo if you can do a certain piece or something with him right on the first try. you seldom can, but the few times you have……. they’ve been quite a doozy

he practically threatens you to never tell anyone what he’s done or he’ll find your house and finish you himself

you don’t take him for granted. that’s one small angry man. full of anger and violence, alright

still. he does it cause he trusts you for some odd reason

so as the months go on and you two grow closer to finishing up your parts for the exam, jihoon is getting a lil busy so he can’t meet up with you as often, which makes sense because finals and things are kicking everyone’s asses at the moment

not to mention, he’s busy every thursday, which is pretty funny

usually you like to study on other days so it’s no big deal but you’ve always found it kind of odd. he doesn’t allude to having many hobbies other than music so you can’t possibly fathom what he’s up to every thursday, but you thought if he wanted you to know, he’d tell you

well, one day, your friend who works in the building where the campus radio station is located asks you to bring her some dinner by since she’s got a long evening ahead of her

you’re usually used to doing so before she goes to work, but she had been caught up in some things so she hadn’t gotten the chance to ask you beforehand and now she was starving

so you got her usual and headed on over, and you were told to keep quiet because currently dj woozi was doing his segment

to be quite honest, you were a huge fan of dj woozi

part of the reason you were never pressed over jihoon being busy on thursdays was because you enjoyed sitting back and listening to dj woozi talk about his day and his favorite music

he’d gotten really popular and had become less shy over the weeks that he had become the dj, and now he often spoke with listeners during every show

he’s such a nice and thoughtful guy with a ridiculous amount of sardonic humor and he really reminds you of someone but you can’t really place it

so, needless to say, you’re like super excited to meet him

of course, you’d never been in the actual building like that, especially when your friend was working, so it was super exciting for you

the receptionist lets you know that she’s just through the door before the recording booth, so you go on in and see her at the controls, headphones half-on, half-off as dj!woozi answers questions through the speakers

she turns to you with a smile and mouths for you to drop her food on the table and that’d she talk to you in a minute

and the moment you turn around, you see jihoon

or… woozi? 

or both?

all you can do is stare as he talks into the mic, and when his eyes flit from the screen before him to the glass that separates the two of you, he falls completely silent

of course, your friend jumps to go to a song because jihoon is literally just staring wide eyed and open mouthed at you like a fish out of water

and he’s like…… internally screaming 🚨🚨🚨

why are you here!! why are you looking at him!!! no one is supposed to come back here during his segment

he pushes his headphones off and rushes toward your room and you immediately run behind your friend like a kid about to get scolded, but instead of entering the room he goes right past it and…

he’s leaving

“go. go get him. i’ll keep things going” your friend shoos you away, giving you a reassuring look

your legs are taking you before you can even question it

he hasn’t gotten far, and you thank the lord that he has such short legs so that you can catch up to him

he’s got his hood up over his head and his hands deep in his pockets so you almost missed him, had it not been a hoodie you had been so familiar with for the last few months

you grab his arm and he yanks himself back, avoiding your eyes as he tries to run off again

“woo- i mean, jihoon, why are you running away?” 

he stops in his tracks but he doesn’t look at you, head down. all you can hear is his mumbling of something you can’t quite make out

and then “woozi is the one thing i have that no one can belittle or take away from me”

he doesn’t look happy talking to you about it, but he also doesn’t look happy indulging in anything he feels particularly emotional about, and it’s pretty obvious how he feels about this

so you grab his arm and he lets you lead him to a nearby bench, far away from the bustle of students leaving class. it’s right next to a calming pond and there are little ducks there, swimming to their heart’s content. you can feel jihoon calming every second he’s there and thinking clearly

once you feel he’s calmed down enough, you ask him about it again

his worries come out like word vomit, and he explains how he felt coming from such a strict and well known family. all he wanted was to live a normal life and learn more about the instrument he loves, but he couldn’t even play for fun anymore because of his family’s insistence on rigid teaching

he talks about how everyone on campus that finds out who his family is treats him like an alien or some million dollar ticket if they could manage to befriend the introverted piano player

his shoulders sag more and more with the words he says until he’s completely deflated and kind of leaning on you unconsciously

“when i’m woozi, i’m just some mysterious nobody on campus who apparently has good taste in music. when i’m woozi, no one expects anything more of me than what i offer on my show every week. when i’m woozi… i’m not lee jihoon.” “bullshit”

jihoon looks at you in surprise, but you don’t let him interject, “lee jihoon is woozi. from every brown colored strand of hair on your head to every laugh line on your mouth. woozi is as jihoon as jihoon is woozi. there’s nothing to be ashamed of being lee jihoon. at the end of the day, if you give woozi and jihoon a piano, they’ll play like they were born to do it. that’s all you. you just have to find people that see that.” 

for a while after that, the two of you just sit in silence, watching the ripples on the pond and letting the cool breeze rustle your clothes

only then do you realize how cold it is, and when you visibly shiver, jihoon is quick to wrap a warm arm around your middle like instinct, cheeks dusting pink

(if you asked him about his blush later, he’d tell you it was because of the cold)

“were you always this wise or was i just way too clueless to notice?” “both, jihoon. both, easily.”

you and jihoon decide to keep things secret from then, of course. you keep his secret and in thanks, he teaches you more techniques for your exam

surprisingly, he’s much more softer and patient with you now that he’s gotten to know you better and can see what kind of person you are

when the exam comes up, you can tell he’s really nervous and you’re always like ??? because usually when he performs, he’s very laid back and calm, but for whatever reason, this exam has got him shaking in his boots

since the exam is going to be performed kind of like a showcase, lots of people from other schools and stuff are coming to see, but you know that’s not the case for jihoon’s nervousness

it’s only when the day of comes and he’s nervously fiddling with the knot on his tie backstage that he actually tells you the reason he’s so scared is bc his parents are going to be in the audience, and he knows that they can be really harsh and it feels like they’re intruding on his comfortable space

you take one of his shaking hands in yours and hold it tight, and he realizes then that you are shaking too, but you’re hiding it as best as you can

“jihoon, i’m going to give you this advice because you’re my friend and because your nerves are kind of contagious and i’d rather not catch ‘em,” he looks away when you refer to him as a “friend” even tho you’d been calling him that for a while now, “right now, it’s just going to be us out there. i’m going to be there with you the whole way. so just… whatever you do, do it well. i’ll follow in my own way, as per usual”

your fingers squeeze his and he lets out a breath, feeling a little more comforted by your words “thanks, (y/n). you’ve really become a formidable piano player over the last few months. i couldn’t imagine being on the stage with anyone else” 

and instantly you’re ‼️! cause i mean, jihoon rarely gives out compliments

and when he does, they’re usually shrouded in some kind of sarcasm or something, but this is all 100% genuine “i think you’re a great musician” complimenting right here. wow. wtf

the embarrassed smile that envelops on your lips moments before your names are called is enough for jihoon to know his words did their job

you two walk out to the center stage and do a bow beforehand as the crowd applauds you, and before you can walk over to your piano, jihoon grabs your hand and gives it a tight squeeze, one that you return with a whispered wish of good luck

your piece starts out as planned, where jihoon starts playing a soft and melancholy song, and you compliment him in stride on your own piano

everyone in the audience is prepared for another boring performance

and then you abruptly slam your hands on the keys, the crowd letting out a chorus of gasps, but jihoon just winks at you from under his hair and you two start playing like crazy

he plays the uniform version of the score first, and you follow with a wilder rendition, passing back and forth between each other like fire and ice in a dance

weirdly, it works??

you are strong key strokes and combinations of flamboyant transitions while jihoon is striking melodies keeping you on a track only you can hear and feel

he guides you through the song in such a way that could only be described as wind controlling a wildfire

it moves with the controller as the controller commands, but it also spreads and overtakes everything in its path like a wildfire would

by the time you’re finished, you both are beaming at each other even as the audience starts off in a stunned silence, and then melds into uproarious applause

the two of you take hands again and bow once more, the smiles on your faces far too large to contain then and there

it’s only when the both of you get off stage, making your way through the flurry of people complimenting the both of you and giving you congrats that jihoon’s parents find you two

they both look somewhere between surprised and confused as they look at their son

“that was… quite the performance, jihoon” his father says, looking a bit flustered as he says so

you can see the change in jihoon’s features as they look down on him, obviously waiting for their stamp of approval

“we didn’t even know you could play like that. you completely let go up there. there was so much passion we didn’t even know you had, jihoon. it was beautiful”

you watch with adoration as jihoon’s shoulders sink with relief and his parents take him in for a hug, just as your parents come to talk to you and you both end up getting swept up in all the formalities

it’s only a few hours later when it’s near midnight and most everyone has gone home and settled in for the night that you get a text from jihoon, which is already out of the blue because he rarely ever sends you a message first

jihooooon: meet me outside. i have something for you

disgruntled but intrigued nonetheless, you grab your jacket and head outside of the dorms, and sure enough, you see a familiar hooded figure standing in front of the dorms, the streetlights blaring down on his head and making him look orange in the night light

“don’t tell me you came all the way back to campus just to give me something. it couldn’t wait till the weekend was over?” you say, feigning annoyance as you let out a yawn

“my parents told me tonight changed something in them… they’re letting me choose to change my major if i want” is all he answers back with a nonchalant voice, but you can see the pleased smile peeking through in the corner of his lips

“oh my god!! jihoon that’s amazing. i’m so happy for-” “i told them i didn’t want to change though” “oh… why?”

and jihoon blushes…… like he actually literally goes tomato red in the face

“well,,, i mean,,, it’s kind of a big campus and like,,, if i changed majors i’d probably change a lot of classes and we might not,,,,,, see each other as often,, you know? and like,,, you taught me that i can have fun with the piano again. i found my passion again,, thanks to you”

you.jpg

“a-are you saying… you’re staying because i helped you find your passion for piano again? and because…. you’d miss me?”

he just scratches his head, and you realize that both of his hands are neatly tucked behind his back and with the shifting of his hand you hear plastic crinkle so you’re like o.O what’s dat

jihoon too seems to remember he called you out here for something and he holds it toward you: a huge, very fancy looking bouquet of red roses

“i had a feeling you might like something cheesy like this, and since i didn’t get to properly congratulate you on a job well done… i thought i might get these for you instead.”

you take the flowers into your arms and are surprised to find a lil card tucked into the petals of one, and when you grab at it, you’re practically melting

“I’m pretty sure I’m going to be too nervous to say this out loud, so if a card will do, would you like to go out on a date with me?” - ljh

you look up from the card just in time to see jihoon has shuffled an inkling closer, feet scraping the ground sheepishly as he awaits your response, looking nearly everywhere else but at you

suppressing an embarrassing fit of giggles behind your hand, you set the roses on the ground to give you and jihoon some room, “should I… say yes out loud or should I give my answer on a card too?”

inside jihoon is like YEAH I MEAN I’M NOT SCREAMING OR ANYTHING YOU ARE HAHAHAHA WOW AM I SWEATING???!!

outside jihoon however is like,,, “smart ass” with a little smirk

inevitably, date one turns into date two and by date three he’s kissing you over a plate of chicken wings and some leftover mozzarella sticks from the appetizers you two got at the bowling alley and everything is ethereal

while jihoon still has to deal with breaking away from his parents’ hold and learning independence, he finds it’s a lot easier to find confidence with you there

jihoon sees a lot of his younger self in you so naturally when he’s around you,,, you see a whole other jihoon

like he can usually keep it relatively toned down and stuff in crowds or around classmates but when you guys are alone it’s like you’ve unleashed a beast

he’s a giggly mess and you love it

honestly, when is he not giggling at something with you?

you: jihoon??? my joke wasn’t that funny?

jihoon: i know but like *dying of laughter* it was so bad i can’t help it

you’d totally take offense if his laugh wasn’t so friggin’ cute okay

it’s worse at night though because as you two get closer, he starts calling you to help himself fall asleep

so whenever you get on the phone with him at like midnight you guys just gush about the parts of your days that you didn’t get to tell each other about in person and it helps jihoon’s insomniac self tire his mind out

he always spills all his ideas and desires to you late at night and it helps him reason those thoughts out later, and as a plus, you really like listening to lee jihoon babble

it’s a win-win really

but oh god, don’t joke with him this late at night or he’ll turn blue in the face from laughing so hard and it would probably wake up his parents if he didn’t live on the opposite end of the house as them in his big old mansion

speaking of which,,, you’ve been to several times without his parents’ permission :)

but it’s mainly for movie nights, piano practice (which is really just the two of you fooling around and trying to play as many songs by shinee as you can), or helping him put together playlists for the radio show and stuff

but one of these particular nights, you and jihoon were snuggled up on the living room couch, tuckered out from a long day of classes and you both were nodding off to spirited away on the tv when his parents came home from their night out early

let’s just say mr. and mrs. lee finding a girl half asleep across their son’s lap was definitely not the way they thought they’d be introduced to jihoon’s girlfriend

but the awkwardness (thankfully) dissolved with a pot of his mother’s hot and famous brewed tea ten minutes later and soon, his parents were giving you the stamp of approval

your parents were kind of in disbelief when you told them you were dating one of south korea’s most prestigious piano prodigies until you brought said prodigy to the family cookout and they were just kind of like oh. cool. this is a thing that’s happening now i guess

your mom: are you sure his mom isn’t evil or that he’s not already engaged to a famous heiress he was old friends with that moved away to america to study??

you: about 100% sure, yeah

he likes your family’s wackiness though, they bring a little more normality to his life and they remind him of you completely

his friends make more appearances now too that jihoon has gotten himself an s/o, which jihoon can’t decipher if it’s a good thing or not yet

his friend mingyu is absolutely obsessed with using you to destroy jihoon’s stoic personality, so sometimes he’ll crack jokes about how he’s nearly twice jihoon’s size and sometimes he’ll just pull you into his side with a lil laugh just to see what the older boy will say

and usually jihoon doesn’t really care because you’re friendly and his friends are friendly and he’s honestly just happy his favorite people are getting along

but then mingyu just has to,,,, pus h it

mingyu: wow hyung, you have a pretty cute gf. shame you got to her first, i would’ve loved to have gotten the chance to talk to- 

jihoon: If You Like Having Kneecaps You Will End That Sentence There

and just to prove to mingyu he means business he’ll even go out of his comfort zone and give you a lil pda ,,, nothing too crazy,, a kiss on the nose,,, maybe

and mingyu is just laughing his ass off with joshua and seokmin in the corner bc seeing jihoon get all red in the face and at the tips of his ears is adorable

even tho pda isn’t really jihoon’s thing, he does get pretty into kissing you when you two are alone

he, without fail, either starts each kiss awkwardly or has you start it for the both of you

but once he’s getting swept up in you, he’s grabbing at your thighs and pulling you impossibly close and honestly??? you didn’t even realize he had it in him

like a switch goes off in his brain and all he can think is you you you, he can’t get enough of you

and with those unnecessarily long canines of his nipping at your lips and neck, he leaves you bitten and red all over when he’s finished with you

he never fails to leave you completely winded after a makeout session, and it’s a source of pleasure and pride for him

like nothing makes him feel better than knowing he’s flustered you with a kiss

it’s a boost of confidence for him honestly

and finally, this mushy baby plays you love songs every time he does his radio show

like no matter the theme or mood of the night, he’ll play you a love song at least once and say “as always, i dedicate this to my moon and stars. i hope you’re listening”

even if you two are mad at each other or haven’t been able to talk much, when you flip on his show, he always remembers to play something just for you, and it’s such a constant in your life

jihoon thinks, and god forbid it happens, that if you two break up one day, he’ll still play you songs

maybe not directly stated, and if you ever asked him about it he’d most likely not tell, but even then he’d still play you a song in the hopes that you were listening

jihoon has never been good with saying what needs to be said with words, but he’s always been good with music, and he’s never been more happy that you speak his language

in short, lee jihoon adores you, but you already knew that ;)

#svtnetwork #jihoon scenarios #jihoon imagines #jihoon au #college boyfriend!jihoon #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #seventeen au #boyfriend!seventeen #lee jihoon #jihoon #seventeen #majwrites

[boimgfrog]

Never needed to see Hisoka's ass (or lack thereof) and yet

#pls he has no ass #also WHY all the male gaze shots of hisoka #sexy shower silhouette scene #bare naked from behind scene #sorry @ hxh staff but you cant convince me hes cute #you made an ugly guy just accept it #the hxh staff and the dn staff should be friends i think #both keep trying to convince me their weird guy is attractive but im not buying it #jay says a thing #hxh blogging #jay watches

[cantaffordtherapist42069]

breakdown message/running journal

first and foremost i cannot believe I wasted time getting my nails done to not even get to see them on a dick this is what I get for going with something cool again

part of me feels just absolutely stupid. like i have no idea what's going on or what anything means because i am just so used to being manipulated or lied to or choked out in bathrooms. i want to believe u are a genuinely nice person like you seem but part of me feels like you are just really good at hiding that you're just an emotionally dead fuckboy.

but like would i recognize those traits if i were not also an emotionally dead fuckboy probably not.

which is exactly why this week has been so awful.

had this been a week ago i was ready to have the "hey i havent felt any real human emotion in years but if you want me to i can try but like ur dick bomb so i can swing whatever" conversation. deadass i was at times like if he really a fuckboy i guess i can finally get a threesome out of it. (in the interest of funny things I would message u about but wont because i can't tell if you give a shit or not i was so far done caring for alias i suggested he message felecia for a threesome. completely seriously.)

however on wednesday, my anxiety was at an all time high for no reason. and it just kept getting worse all night. and all i wanted was to talk to you. i didnt care if all you did was bitch i just wanted like a ten minute phone call with you because i missed you and talking to you would have made me happy. then on my way home i had to pass a very freshly killed deer which, while interesting to my inner freak because it was like split in half and dragged, all i could think about was that your dumb ass text and snaps all the fucking time while you're driving and that technically speaking you could just hit a deer at like 70 and die and that's it you never get to talk to Dillon again and i lost it i had to pull over to cry. this was partly because i was so high but also mostly because it has been so long since i have cared about the person i was fucking and i am terrified to get genuinely attached to another person like that again. but whatever i thought I could just deal with that later.

then of course the next day was Summers wedding. and yes it was cute and im very happy for them and love is beautiful but like, first off it was weird because i am literally getting a divorce that i could not be happier to finally be getting, but also i am kind of jealous of their relationship, and then when u hit me this week with the "never once contemplated marriage", Dillon i had never been more attracted to you than at that moment. and again all i wanted was to talk to you but you were barely responding so i just volunteered to work all night to get my mind off everything even though it was one of my nights off and i already felt miserable. Then the more i thought about it all night, u bitching about being hungover, i realized that u didnt send me a single drunk text and like.. cant relate! i want to talk to you literally all the time but especially when im drunk and miss you and havent talked to you all day!

friday morning i had mail from the court that the judge on my divorce case put in a removal for dismissal. on my way to the courthouse guess who was behind me! alias! guess who had a panic attack because shes so fucking scared of this actual pussy! me! guess who has to get her paperwork in by the 20th or she has to pay 250 fucking more dollars to the state to file again! me! and of course multiple people have told me that they dont think alias and felecia are doing well and im fucking terrified. i thought theyd at least last a year and buy me some time to heal but nah fuck me. i love feeling absolutely terrified everywhere i go.

i think its probably important you get the whole story. it really explains why im a freak and also why i was temporarily drinking almost every night. but like its really something you sit down and discuss not casually send over a message so a very short version is i knew alias would be abusive within the first week, broke up, got back together when he got back from basic and went to mos school, i knew i was making a mistake because i was crazy about him but i knew he was a piece of shit, cheated on him to convince myself to leave him, never told him and stayed instead, found him sending and receiving nudes and sexting with girls from gone wild on reddit, shit was absolutely awful and we fought non stop for years, he gets out of the marines we move back and he finally admits to me that he thought he wanted kids which i had known he did for a while so wasnt a shock, I smoked half a pack of camels and i was over it. didnt love him at all. didnt leave because he begged me to stay because "he didnt he just needed to discuss wanting kids", then after i specifically warned him i was going to be emotionally distant, he started getting crazy. he was so miserable all the time and reflected it by acting angry around me intentionally. then it was the busting in to my room at random times to accuse me of not loving him and like i wasnt going to admit to the psycho that i was just with him because i couldn't leave kira with him and yes i was def lying about loving him, and then one night he just flipped and was screaming at my accusing me of cheating on him (not that i even had the time to with how closely he monitored where i was and how long for), and then he choked me. he had both hands around my neck and was pushing so hard he basically threw me into the bathroom wall. then after he realized what he was doing he smashed his head into the bathroom mirror and came into my room begging me to kill him. every night after that i was terrified to stay and terrified to leave and terrified to do anything at all. i really thought killing myself would be how id finally get out. then the night with the police happened and now im staying with my mom and stepdad because i literally do not feel safe anywhere else.

or at least i didn't until i was able to sleep all night with you. i did not think i would ever feel safe sleeping with a guy again and now i miss waking up next to you.

there is so much about you that freaks me out but literally not one red flag and that also freaks me out. i know im a mess. you have a nice normal stable life and im sure you dont want a messy trauma bitch all up in it. but fuck Dillon, if you dont want to see me why the fuck are we always talking

like i know i have done everything possible to get you to keep your distance and all i know how to do is self sabotage but like i can't anymore. i am not capable of acting chill again for another whole fucking month and then imagine you hooking up with way hotter girls and cry every fucking night because i caught feelings for the fuckboy. i miss you, literally, all the time. i check my phone every morning just to see if i have a message from you. i think about you every night. and yes the way you fuck me is literally the best sex ive ever had but i am beyond dick crazy about you. i love just being around you. i could listen to you talk for hours, just nonstop. i am already daydreaming about dates we could go on next summer. and i want to tell you all this but i feel so stupid for feeling anything at all for you when you make me feel like i just dont matter to you and im just an ego boost for you.

[citycfangels]

text: raquel ⇄ charlie

Raquel: knock knock.

Raquel: nevermind forget knock knock almost jokes. Did you forget about the starving really hot girl in your apartment?

Raquel: is this is a hint for me to leave?

Raquel: maybe it isn't but I hope everything is okay. I'm worried.

Charlie: everything is okay, babe. i just ran to someone and i had to say hello

Charlie: i wouldn't forget about my almost naked, hot, starving girl.

Raquel: okay, just making sure. I wasn't thinking up crazy scenarios or anything. Nope.

Raquel: well I hope you wouldn't forget about me. Not even if you get amnesia or something. You're supposed to remember me forever.

Charlie: i wouldn't do that ever, babe.

Charlie: can i ask you something hypothetical, babe?

Raquel: well you're still away but you sure are making up for it by being cute. 😘

Raquel: ... what's the hypothetical????

Charlie: my face and my body makes it up for it, babe

Charlie: okay, i don't know how to say this so

Charlie: imagine a couple in which A and B are 'dating' but B is with C too

Charlie: what if A sees C cheating on them?

Raquel: this is a weird hypothetical. I just want you to know that.

Raquel: what are you trying to say?

Charlie: yeah, it sounds weirder that it did in my head

Charlie: i saw Nathan with another girl a moment ago. i don't know if he saw me but

Raquel: babe, nathan isn't even in town.

Raquel: I am with you and I know that I'm the bad guy in that relationship. I know you think he isn't right for me and that I should be with you, and I already said I would but you don't have to tell me he is cheating on me when he isn't even in town. He wouldn't do that to me.

Raquel: are you sure it was Nathan?

Raquel: i know how my last texts sounded and I don't want to call you a liar and I'm not it's just I was okay knowing that I was cheating on him. I was okay with being a bad person and not giving our relationship a shot. I was fine with being in love with you and not with him even when I knew I should be with him. And I know it's wrong that I might be a bit upset if that was him. I just didn't think someone would actually cheat on me. Maybe flirt with other girls or whatever but I don't know.

Raquel: shouldn't you be happy about this?

Charlie: then he lied to you.

Charlie: i know it sounds crazy but it was really him, with one of the girls that came to his promotion party. it may sound like something i'd say so you can finally break up with him, but it's not.

Charlie: no, it's not, i guess. i've never been in your position but i would have probably be upset too.

Charlie: as for me, i don't know. a part of me is because i always thought he was going to do something sooner or later to fuck things up between you two, but the other part of me doesn't want to see you upset.

Charlie: i'm sorry i'm the one breaking it to you.

Charlie: wait, did you just say you're in love with me?????

Raquel: no, if anyone had to tell me he was cheating on me I'd rather it be you.

Raquel: I'm sorry that you have to tell me and that I'm being this weird. I shouldn't care.

Raquel: I guess I'm not upset. I just I don't know. It just means our relationship went longer than it should have if we both weren't in it. It's just I was fine with being the bad person in this. It's just shocking to know that he wasn't the person I thought he was.

Raquel: of course I'm in love with you.

Charlie: no, i think it's something normal. you were in a relationship with him, even if you weren't as invested as you are in ours. still, i'm okay with you being weird about it.

Charlie: besides, i can't tell you how to feel about it. i had a feeling about him, but i hoped he was a good man. it was shocking to see him with his tongue down someone else's throat.

Charlie: damn. now i'm here smiling while looking at my phone like an idiot in the middle of the street.

Raquel: maybe I should just be happy for him. Maybe he found someone to be with just like how I'm with you.

Raquel: he is a good guy. Unless Im saying cheating makes you a bad person. I don't know because ifit does then I'm worse, right?

Raquel: then maybe you should get out of the middle of the street crazy person.

Charlie: if you tell me he is, i believe you. you're not a bad person for cheating, but there's people who won't see it the same way.

Charlie: who are you calling crazy now???

Raquel: maybe other people don't matter. At least not when it comes to this.

Raquel: I'm still calling you crazy. You're completely crazy. I'm the sane one in this relationship.

Charlie: you're right, they don't

Charlie: what did i do to deserve this attack?

Raquel: at least they don't matter when it comes to this and honestly the only person whose opinion really matters is yours

Raquel: you can't call it an attack if it's the truth.

Charlie: that's it, you just lost the privilege of seeing me cooking while naked, just wearing an apron.

Raquel: what?

Raquel: don't be a tyrannical dictator you cant just start taking things away from me. I can do that too you know. Or I can just go home.

Charlie: in that case i'm open to negotiate as soon as i'm home in a couple of minutes

Charlie: although i could do that without a problem because we're at my place, remember?

Raquel: which is exactly why I can go home if you want to start taking away reasons for me being here. There's no negotiation.

Charlie: oh, so you're there because of the nudity?

Charlie: i think i will cook with nothing under the apron then... if you're also naked.

Raquel: obviously. Nudity and the coffee and maybe the comfortable bed but that's it.

Raquel: do I really have to be naked? I was thinking of wearing a full on nun outfit for a change.

Charlie: and you're not there to see me read and look smart and sexy while i'm at it? now i'm hurt

Charlie: yes, you have. i'm not going to be the only one naked, right?

Raquel: eh maybe I am but that's just a bonus.

Raquel: depends... what are you going to do to convince me?

Charlie: for starters i'm going to cook you a decent meal instead of ordering food, whatever you want me to make with everything i bought. naked, of course, only wearing an apron

Charlie: then we'll see what happens. i haven't thought about it yet

Raquel: sounds like the beginning of a good plan.

Raquel: maybe you shouldn't overthink this. From the sounds of it food, maybe wine and you is a pretty solid plan.

Charlie: a good plan that will likely end up in sex

Charlie: i haven't bought wine but i'm sure i have something in there, you can look for it before i arrive

Raquel: Is that all you think about with me?

Raquel: I'll start the scavenger hunt now. hOpefully I find something good.

Charlie: not always, but it's what happens when i've been in my apartment with you for myself for two days in a row

Charlie: good luck, i'll be there in a few minutes

Raquel: really? So it's only because I've been here and it's not just because your mind just automatically goes to the gutter?

Raquel: So there's no weird stuff I shouldn't find? Nothing you want to hide from me?

Charlie: maaaaaybe yes, maybe not

Charlie: i have nothing to hide, what would i hide?

Raquel: I think that just means definitely yes.

Raquel: I don't know. Stuff. There could be a lot of things you can hide at your place. A collection of weird dolls, drugs, other girl's panties. The list is endless.

Charlie: busted

Charlie: i don't do drugs, i haven't fucked any other girl since we started being somewhat serious and i don't have creepy dolls. and the porn is on my laptop, so you won't find any porn either

Raquel: big time.

Raquel: Okay. I believe you. Not like you would find anything at my place if you did want to go snooping. i don't have anything from you

Charlie: i thought you'd have at least one t shirt at this point

Raquel: If I did I wouldn't be hiding it. Your t shirts are only yours while you wear them. Once they go on me they're mine.

Charlie: oh? then i'm never get them back?

Raquel: nope. They're mine now.

Charlie: well, keep them. i don't really mind you having them to be honest

Raquel: so should I take that as code for "sure babe, you can have all my shirts"?

Charlie: yes, you can have them. i can always buy new ones anyways and you look good in them

Raquel: you do know that that just means that you'll just always be buying shirts.

Charlie: i only ask you to not steal too many of them, or else i'll have none to wear

Raquel: you not wearing a shirt wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.

Charlie: in private, but me not wearing one in public and attracting too many girls at work? you're sure you want that?

Raquel: .... maybe I don't. You did say that you weren't seeing other girls so if we are going back to being exclusive, exclusive then they can look but they can't touch.

Charlie: i wasn't seeing other girls, so yeah, i can do that. i have no intentions of having anything with someone else if that's what you're asking

Raquel: it's not exactly what I was asking but it sorta is.

Raquel: there's just me for you and I know that now. I just wasn't sure if we were on the same page or not.

Raquel instagram post: https://78.media.tumblr.com/30e75391e84d85e259bea50f5133086d/tumblr_or6lnecFwu1w7ltgxo1_500.jpg Quellersmal When you’re completely okay with the thought of never wearing pants again. #mymanisnttheonlyonewithabs #nopantsforme #noshirtsforhim

Charlie: we are in the same page and you can have my shirts

Charlie: and by the picture you just posted, it seems like you're going pantless

Raquel: yessss I get a new part of my wardrobe.

Raquel: any objections?

Charlie: nope, no objections. you know i like your ass so much, so you won't hear a complaint from me

Charlie: it may distract me, but i won't whine about it, babe

Raquel: well distracting you is what I'm best at even if I do want you to get through your books.

Charlie: you're the best at it. your ass is distracting, especially when you're not wearing pants

Charlie: what if i don't read today and we do stuff together? watching a movie, for example

Raquel: sure we could do whatever you want. I think us taking a break from sex will actually be just what your neighbor wants. Either she is just not a nice person or she is just sick of hearing us. I went out and saw her and let's just say I didn't get a warm welcome. Hopefully for neighborly sake she is nicer to you.

Charlie: which one of them? is she the blonde one?

Raquel: yeah, I think she said her name was Candice or something.

Charlie: oh

Charlie: she's a bitch, don't pay attention to her. she's probably jealous.

Raquel: jealous? Why would she be jealous? She's a knock out and if I were completely single and in a world where you didn't exist maybe I would try to hook up with her

Charlie: i don't know, it was a guess

Charlie: i know, she's hot, but i find you hotter, babe

Raquel: I don't think I'm someone pther people would be jealous of. Even if I am pretty lucky and I have you.

Raquel: you are winning a lot of boyfriend points. But since when is leggy beautiful blonde not your type?

Charlie: yesh, you're lucky bc you're with me, but you're hot and smart, so that's hitting the jackpot

Charlie: i'll be honest with you: i hooked up with her once, she became clingy and i don't do clingy

Charlie: don't worry about her, okay? she may be jealous and bitchy but i'm with you, babe

Raquel: when did you hook up with her?

Raquel: was it when we were together?

Charlie: no

Charlie: it happened at some point in those four months after we broke up. i can't recall when, but we weren't together at that point, that's for sure

Charlie: she's the only girl i regret hooking up with, and that says a lot coming from me

Raquel: right, because you have hooked up with so many girls.

Raquel: it's not that I don't appreciate your honesty. I do. I just don't know how I'm supposed to feel knowing that some girl you hooked up with a) lives so close and b) still acts like she has some sort of claim over you.

Raquel: I guess I was okay with not knowing who you hooked up with but now it's like I can picture it. You with her and I hate it because I know I shouldn't worry. I know I should just be fine with it but right now I don't know.

Raquel: I'm not upset but maybe I should go home (unsent)

Charlie: she's pretty much aware of me not wanting anyone but you at this point, so she won't make a move. or at least i hope she doesn't pull off any shit.

Charlie: the only girl i want is you, babe. isn't that enough? she may live next door, but i wouldn't go to her ever, not even if things get rough between us.

Raquel: are you 100% sure? I don't want you to wake up one day and realize that you want her and just go next door because I am in this. There is no one else for me. What happened with Nathan and us breaking up was a mistake. I know that now and I know you're saying I'm the only girl you want now, but I don't want those to be just words. You gave me time to figure things out and if you need the same then I can give you time. I just don't want you making a decision you might regret later. She isn't the only one that can be clingy or obsessive.

Charlie: babe, why are you insecure?

Charlie: sure, she's hot, she has the legs and the body and she looks like a damn model, but that means nothing to me if she's ugly inside. you're beautiful outside too, but what makes you different from her is that i fucking like you for who you are. you're beautiful inside.

Charlie: i would never go to her, i'm 100% sure of that. i don't even need time to think about it.

Raquel: I'm insecure because the fact that you're with me still baffles me. You could be with any girl in the world.

Raquel: can you just come home please?

Charlie: i could, but i chose you

Charlie: let me take the elevator and i'll be there

Raquel: i guess I choose you too. And I'm going to keep choosing you until you get sick of me.

Raquel: chop chop.

#text: 009 charlie #text: charlie #all: charlie #ship: rarlie #text

[crazyfeelingsjmk-blog]

4/24/2017 4AM

I feel like my relationship with Mikayla was unique. We dated for a legit 5 months before breaking up. And a lot of people will say “oh thats not long at all” but in reality it felt like a really long time. When i first started dating her, everything was great, she was humble and hardworking and just seemed like the perfect person for me. I told myself that i would try again and i put aside all my insecurities and gave her the benefit of the doubt by trusting her and making it feel like she wouldn’t screw me over since i didn’t want my experiences with Yaya to ruin this relationship. Everything was great, We were both putting in a lot of effort and i went the extra mile all the time to make her feel like my queen. We started dating on October 15th, and i met her family at thanksgiving and everything, her family really liked me and my parents really liked her. We started having some issues before Thanksgiving, where Mikayla would keep posting memories of her and this guy named Tiyo. They were really close friends and they had this thing together and they were interested in each other. This raised my insecurity bc i started feeling like she was still in love with him. They don’t talk to this day bc for some reason Tiyo doesn’t want to talk to her and according to Mikayla, Tiyo cant forgive her for something even when she put in effort into visiting him and buying him presents and stuff. She decided to stop trying after Tiyo wouldn’t put in effort and not having any feelings after Mikayla got assaulted in a armed robbery outside her parents house. Me and Mikayla had put our relationship on the line bc i thought she was still in love with Tiyo and i had to ask her to make a decision between me and him and she chose me. After that everything was great until Christmas Eve. For some reason, i was feeling weird and insecure, maybe it was bc i found out Mikayla went through my phone. But i started thinking that i didn’t know Mikayla as well as i thought and i felt like i needed to go through her phone to get some reassurance. I looked through her phone and what i found devastated me. Mikayla used to be friends with benefits with a football player named Jeremy, and he was in town and had asked her to hang out. Instead of saying “no i have a boyfriend” like any usual girl, she asked him where he was and basically told her friends that she wanted to go hangout but she didn’t want to be a hoe bc she was dating me, but that wasn’t the only thing i found. Mikayla was in a group chat with her guys friends and Tiyo and she would make comments abt how Tiyo doesn’t want her and her guy friends “joked” around that Mikayla should send nudes in the group chat but she said no and that the only person who could get nudes was Tiyo. She also asked her cousin and compared me and Tiyo and asked her who was more attractive…her cousin said me bc im already her bf and thats great and all but it still hurts me that it was even a question. All of this was so painful and i felt so disrespected that i was lost for words. That Christmas Day morning, i addressed the issues i had and i wanted to leave Mikayla for damaging our relationship. She cried and apologized for not telling me and i spent the whole day deciding if i should continue the relationship and accepting her guilt. By the next day, i forgave her and we had a long discussion abt her feelings and she convinced me that she only wanted to be with me. I was so in love with her that i forgave her bc it was just so painful and that i couldnt let go of her. We got over the situation for the time being but it always remained at the back of my head, i could forgive all i want, but i could never forget. Whatever trust issues i had before that i tried to suppress, i couldnt suppress it anymore bc she had lost my trust. For the rest of the relationship i would always doubt her.