saw some ppl on tiktok getting SO PRESSED about polycules and relationships other than hualian and that was kind of funny so i needed to make and explain my relationship chart
i’d love to explain to them (as a polyam person myself >:3) that love is not a limited commodity and hua cheng falling for yin yu doesn’t mean he suddenly doesn’t care about xie lian at all but i fear that would be lost on them HAHA
also if you… don’t wanna see that kinda stuff… just don’t look at it… don’t hate on people who do… life would be easier for everyone… but moving on
i debated splitting yin yu x he xuan x hua cheng from the moon quartet then decided against it because it was getting waaaay too chaotic
rip to quan yizhen, either he has no manhua art or i couldn’t find it (i haven’t read the manhua yet ffjhshd)
uhhh i got a lot of inspo abt huayin from @devotedbutterfly’s tiktoks and stuff (sorry for going thru like all of ur stuff and generally being a demon on ur tiktok and tumblr ahsjdj) and xuanyin/blackmoon stuff from @ghooostbaby so. yes their stuff is very cool :]
anyways-
first chart is different explanations for everyone’s relationship with one another
the second is me trying to simplify them into categories
BUT i’ll explain this a lotttt better in text
quanyin
uh. this one feels self explanatory
hualian
if i have to explain this one it’s over
fengqing
same as the first two LMAO
xianle trio
yes, i had to break the trio and quartet into different categories
mulian: mu qing always admired xie lian for his self-assuredness, strength, and also beauty. he was a bit jealous of him for a long time, but they were able to talk about it and they both forgave each other for everything that happened in the part. he's had a crush on him since the beginning, but was bad at showing it. xie lian thought mu qing was pretty and a very interesting person; when he got older, he regretted not spending more time getting to know him, so he makes up for it later on in life! he loves when mu qing is softer and shy and more vulnerable than he is usually, and loves how mu qing is a good listener and is pretty emotionally intelligent.
fengqing: well. you get the idea
fenglian: feng xin was always loyal, the first person to have fallen in love with xie lian, and dianxia’s first kiss. he would’ve never left xie lian if xie lian hadn’t told him to. he respected xie lian a lot. xie lian loved how much feng xin cared, and felt immensely guilty about being unable to give him anything more. when they reunite, he showers feng xin with gifts and words of affirmation (he got better at expressing his emotions) and they spend a lot of time together
xianle quartet
all the other ones stay the same, so i’ll just explain the two new ones
huaqing: they were once stuck together and had to talk just out of boredom. they bickered a little but the more they talked the more they realized that there was more to the other. mu qing feels genuinely bad about what he did to hua cheng. he has a hard time apologizing but he tried his best to express his remorse, and hua cheng was pretty shocked (previously thought mu qing was a bit of an asshole) and, since mu qing was being sincere, decided to accept his apology. they hit some rough patches now and then, but xie lian and feng xin help them through it. they realized they’re pretty similar, and team up to stir up trouble with people they don’t like sometimes!
huaxin: feng xin was jealous of hua cheng because he was the one who won xie lian’s heart after 800 years and was really happy when he found out that xie lian liked him too. he admires that hua cheng was strong enough to help xie lian so many times. he also likes that hua cheng is a little cocky sometimes (read: very often), and finds hua cheng very good looking. hua cheng was jealous of feng xin for being the first person to be that close to xie lian, but appreciates how loyal he was throughout everything that happened and finds him pretty cool. he likes the way feng xin curses a lot when he’s pissed (finds it endearing)
huayin
ONE OF MY PERSONAL FAVES!!!
yin yu fell first, because hua cheng was so fascinatingly determined and also like the prettiest person he’s ever met. he was intimidating, but could be quite kind, as he was to yin yu when they broke past the employee/employer relationship and became closer
hua cheng began to notice the way yin yu came off as so meek and unnoticeable, but had a kind of poised anger and strength beneath all of that. he trusted yin yu with a lot of more important tasks, paid him well, and considered him as more of a right hand man or partner in crime than a henchman
e’ming also likes yin yu, and trusts him to take care of it
hua cheng finds it endearing when yin yu gets protective of him (both of them know hua cheng is perfectly capable, but hua cheng finds it sweet regardless)
yin yu cheered hua cheng on a lot with xie lian and patiently listened to everything hua cheng had to say about him
huayinlian/hualianyu
ANOTHER PERSONAL FAVE
ppl keep being like “oh but hua cheng would never cheat on xie lian” HOW IS THAT CHEATING! GOOD LORD! HUA CHENG STILL LOVES XIE LIAN, BUT HAS ALSO DEVELOPED FEELINGS FOR THE PERSON HE SPENT THE MOST AMOUNT OF TIME WITH
i digress
yin yu fell for xie lian because he heard about him all the time. how could you spend so much time hearing about how wonderful, kind, gracious, and amazing someone is without catching feelings a little? additionally, hua cheng allowed yin yu to visit xie lian’s temple and leave offerings, trusting him to be genuine in his actions. yin yu saw some of the paintings and sculptures of xie lian and found him beautiful. he knows a lot about xie lian's life, and truly wants him to find peace and happiness
xie lian loves how devoted yin yu was to hua cheng and how much he helped him. he knows those years were hard for hua cheng, and he’s glad that he had a companion (contrary to what people say about “cheating”, xie lian is incredibly happy that hua cheng managed to find love while he was waiting). i know yin yu is canonically “plain”, but xie lian loves him and thinks he’s very handsome :) he gives him a lot of compliments and words of affirmation
blackmoon (yinxuan)
taking a moment to appreciate that very awesome ship name
yin yu thought he xuan was terrifying and intense, only to discover that. he’s just a guy (/pos). but he does have a lot going on! he has urges and a complex history and emotions he doesn’t show to a lot of people and plans within plans and is generally such an interesting person with so many layers to him. beneath a lot of those layers is a guy who’s kind and smart and would’ve stayed kind and smart if his life wasn’t utterly ruined
he xuan initially thought yin yu was just kind of pathetic, but learned more about him and started to like him more. he finds his passion really attractive, loves how genuinely sweet, kind, and gentle he is as well as how harsh, cruel, and unrelenting he can be. he treats he xuan well and makes him feel human and real and knows when to leave him alone and knows when he wants attention and cooks for him and-
they feel seen around each other, having experienced similar things (such as having their destiny “stolen” in different ways though) and have experienced suffering in such a firsthand way. they’re ready to just chill together now :)
moon quartet (hua cheng, xie lian, he xuan, and yin yu)
xie lian finds he xuan cool, doesn’t have too many thoughts about him. he xuan thinks xie lian is cute and also mildly terrifying (i’m definitely editing this later on, i just don’t have a lot of thoughts about them yet)
hua cheng and he xuan have been close for a long time, helping each other out with ghost king business. hua cheng let he xuan relax and chill at ghost city when he needed to, and he xuan kept a close eye on the heavenly capital, so they met often and bonded. they’re both motivated by something and are incredibly passionate about that thing, so they mutually admire the other’s drive and courage
i have the least for them so far, but i just think they’d be sweet together :] they’d all help each other heal and be able to talk to each other. they’d love each other a lot and take care of one another when they need it and be there when someone needs someone :3 idk they’re so traumatized and deserve to recover from that i’ll form more thoughts i swear
ANYWAYS. that’s it for now i’m def gonna write stuff for all of these ships :0 they’re all very special to me 💖 i might add them to my 30 day fluff challenge :3 cuz they all deserve some nice fluff! (ill also keep updating + editing! feel free to ask me to explain relationships more, id love to <3)
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For as long as Sirius could remember, there had always been two versions of himself.
The first one was who everyone knew. Great Sirius Black: funny, handsome, cool, prankster. This Sirius was likeable, desired, admired. He became popular for being a rebel who didn't comform with rules or authority. The one who could have everyone he wanted but didn't fall in love.
The second was the real Sirius. Right under the masks and glitter. This Sirius was not attractive at all. He was vulnerable and weak. He was very insecure. He craved love and affection more then anything, like he had been starving from it for years. He was scared of people leaving him behind. He felt everything too much. He loved with all his heart. But he destroyed everything he touched. This Sirius hurt with every world. Perhaps he was selfish. And above all, he was truly his parents child. Manipulative and charming like his father, crazy and stubborn like his mother, insecure and anxious like his brother and fucking fake like the rest of them.
In reality, Sirius didn't like this version of himself. He hated it. So it was easier to be the other. He was more liked, he was more desired and he could pretend this rebel self was far away from what his family wanted from him.
But sometimes, the Sirius from underneath accidentally let himself be seen. And it had happened a lot lately. Ever since Sirius left Grimmauld Place that summer. Sirius had tried so hard to hide his insecure sad self. But somehow, it had become so difficult.
He could sense the worry from all his friends. He could notice the way Regulus looked at him. Vulnerable Sirius was more visible than ever. And he was getting attached to Remus quickly.
Sirius was taking out his mask, letting down his defensess. And he hated that.
"You are in autodestructive mood, Sirius" James had said "And you are not only drowning yourself but you are taking Remus down with you. Do you think that's fair?"
James hadn't been joking. Sirius had never seen him so serious and angry.
"You are going to hurt him"
It wasn't fair for Remus. Remus... His Moony... Remus was perfect. He was so beautiful it hurt. He was funny and interesting. Sirius loved when he was quiet and when he couldn't stop talking. Sirius loved when he messed with him. Sirius loved Remus' books, cigarettes and big sweaters. Sirius loved his music taste. Sirius loved his obsession with chocolate. The way he moved his mouth when he was thinking. The way he loosened his clothes all the time. He loved Remus' incredible ideas. When he said something so funny it made Sirius laugh until his tummy hurt. He loved how Remus' smile made Sirius feel a whole zoo in his stomach. Sirius loved the way they joked, they touched, how his hugs felt, how well he kissed, leaving his knees weak and wanting for more.
It was impossible how in such little time Sirius was falling for Remus. Or maybe he had always felt this way for Remus. He just didn't know it.
All Sirius had been doing was messing them up. They kept hiding because of him. They kept lying because of him. Sirius did stupid shit and said stupid shit. And Remus was such a saint that he didn't care. Sometimes Sirius thought that Remus deserved better. He wanted to yell at him to run away as fast as he could. But he was also selfish. Because he wanted Remus forever. Being with Remus made him breath again.
But Remus didn't love him. He loved the great Sirius Black. The one everyone loved. The real Sirius was a mess. He was only going to hurt him. And Remus would get sick of him. And Remus would leave him. Sirius didn't know how he was going to handle that.
James was right. James was right. James was right.
"There you are..."
Hearing Remus' voice made Sirius want to cry.
"I was looking for you everywhere... I thought the birthday boy must've drowned in the lake" he snorted.
Sirius didn't answer. He took a swing of the bottle of who knows what as if he could swallow his thoughts with it.
"James didn’t mean what he said... You know that, right?"
Sirius scoffed as Remus took a seat next to him on the grass.
"He hates us, the idea of us"
Remus sighed "Just give him time..." he said "He is just angry because we didn't tell him"
Sirius shook his head.
"None of this is your fault, Remus"
It is all mine. He thought.
"Cheer up..." Remus said bumping his knee against Sirius'. That simple touch gave him a shot of electricity "Why don't we come back inside and try to talk with him and explain..."
Sirius had a knot on his throat that was getting stronger and stronger with each world Remus said. All Sirius could think was how much he didn't deserve Remus. That Remus was going to leave him eventually. He had been sad all day during his birthday.
"Or maybe you want to leave back to the dorm?" Remus tried one more time "We can cuddle while I read you some book and we can drink hot chocolate...I mean it is your birthday after all"
Sirius' eyes filled with tears. Walburga' words were running through his mind: "Do you think anyone is going to stand you, love the real you? Oh honey, one day with your mood swings and your terrible temper... They would easily be tired of you"
"Sirius..." Remus insisted
Sirius sniffed and wiped the tears away from his face without Remus noticing.
"I think James is right" he said "I am only going to hurt you"
Remus snorted "Are you messing with me only to get your parents pissed?"
Sirius considered saying yes. But it was a lie. A terrible lie. He shook his head.
"James is just pissed..."
"We are not good together, Remus" Sirius interrupted "We never were"
"That's bullshit" Remus sounded angry now. Sirius didn't want to see his face. He kept looking at the bottle in his hands wishing he would be less sober for this.
"What? Are you afraid James and Peter are going to treat you differently now? Because they are not like that"
Sirius shook his head "It is not that... I just keep making you sad. I just keep disappointing you"
"You make me very happy..."
For now. Sirius thought. I will ruin it eventually.
"Remus, I don't deserve you..."
"Don't say that..."
"I..."
Sirius felt how Remus' hand was trying to reach his. But if he let himself go with the touch, he was going to give in. He might start crying in front of Remus. He might admit everything he felt for him. And he would be vulnerable Sirius. Without a mask. And Sirius didn't want Remus to see that. He was not going to like it.
So he dropped Remus' hand and stood up getting away.
"You should just... Just stay away from me"
"Don't you think that is my decision?" Remus stood up as well.
Sirius was shaking his head again "I shouldn't let this happen. I shouldn't have started things with you. It was a huge mistake"
Remus looked hurt. And Sirius' knot got bigger and stronger. He didn't want to hurt him and he was hurting him.
"You don't mean that..."
"We were better of us friends" Sirius added "That's all"
Remus nodded furiously.
"So just like that?" Remus asked "You just try things with a bloke for a while and then decide you are better off playing with random girls instead..."
"It is not like that..."
Sirius didn't know what to answer really.
"Then how is it?" Remus raised his voice "You just leave me because you please. Because you got tired of me"
"You know me, don't you, Remus?" Sirius spat "I am untamed. Everyone falls in love with Sirius Black but Sirius doesn't love anyone, remember? Do you expect me to tell you I fell in love with you? Because I am not like that, Remus. You know it"
Sirius was full of sadness and he was also full of rage. When he was like that, he tended to hurt the first person around him. He had done that with Regulus many times. Now it was Remus' turn.
"You are acting like an immature twat!!" Remus snapped "Oh your mummy and daddy couldn't love you? Buhu, Sirius! There are bigger problems than yours. Just grow up and accept that"
"Yes, everything is about me. Don't you get it? I am the fucking center of the world!"
Sirius was using his sarcastic harmful voice. The snaky one he always used against his family. Specifically to hurt them.
"Fuck you, Sirius" Remus said "You try very hard not to be like your family. But you are just like them"
That hurt more than anything because it was true. That's why Sirius hated himself. That's why he was pushing Remus away.
"Fuck you, Remus!"
And yet Remus could hurt him like no one.
"You know what?" he said "You are right. This was a huge mistake"
"The worst mistake"
"Have a very fucking good birthday, asshole!" Remus yelled. And he walked away before Sirius could stop him.
It had happened all like a bad dream. And now that he had woken up, he had a bad taste in his mouth.
But this wasn't a dream. This was real. And Sirius had fucked it up again.
Tears finally ran down his face. He tossed the bottle with all his anger. It broke into a million pieces. Maybe like his heart.
Vulnerable Sirius appeared again. Sad, insecure and shameful for everything. So Sirius cried because he hated himself.
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