#bitter cas fan

[vaicomcas]

On Bitterness

cw: very long and cringey self-reflection of an unrepentant, dean critical, spn critical bitter Cas fan. It's actually kind of funny how melodramatic I am.

I once read a post that said, if you hate the show so much, why are you on tumblr writing post after post about it, go away leave us who love it alone. Or, the very fact that you keep going on is the validation of how great the show is. Or, that's a miserable way to engage with media. Or, please only focus on what you like rather than what you hate and "make the fandom better ". Or, do you even know how to consume media, just ignore what you dislike. I see this type of post periodically. I follow few active blogs so I'm sure I only see a fraction of them.

Some of it seems fair enough. To say "I hate the show so much" is an oversimplification because I am obviously consumed by my love for Castiel, and the show created Castiel. Also a lot of the ideas/writing/visuals are brilliant (although quite a lot not so much--but of course, it's easy to criticize and hard to create something that went on for so long). Lots of amazing actors of course. The skills and quality are of course there. But does that validate the show? I say no.

I honestly hate a lot of the overall narrative and underlying values of the show. And I have come to hate the Winchesters, espeically Dean, because of the type of men they stand for--reflecting my own experience and bias, no doubt. Just like how anybody "consumes media": from their own perspective.

I am not looking for reassurance or validation. I don't accept it when I read that people like me are consuming or engaging with media wrong. I don't make any personal criticism of writers or producers (I try not to even know who they are most of the time, though it's impossible). I don't go out of my way to argue with or upset people I disagree with. I tag myself clearly and people can block me. I paid for my DVDs. Within these confines of what my conscience requires, I can consume media however I want. So what if what I share on tumblr is not "positive". I read rage-filled posts about Cas from 2, 4, 7 or more years ago from bitter Cas fans who came before me, and these posts are what I came to the internet for: they made me feel less alone. Yet, there are simply not enough of them. I post to let my own rage out, and to add to this particular voice so others like me can also find it and feel less alone.

I do ask myself all the time: why don't I just let the bitterness go for my own mental health? Like they say condescendingly, "it's a miserable way to engage with media". (what a loser you are is what this means.) They say to be bitter is like drinking poison in order to kill your enemy. I don't dispute that. Yeah it is miserable. Yeah it's truly not healthy. Yeah it infects my outlook in real life too. Can't I just focus on the positive like so many people seem to be able to do? Isn't there so much, so much positive about Castiel?

I can't. Being miserable is the only way for me to love Cas. Only in the first two seasons was he genuinely celebrated (to a degree and not nearly enough), followed by relentless reduction and sidelining of him. I should clarify: it's not his suffering and his pain in the plot per se that depresses and angers me. It's the slander, the subjugation, and the enslavement of his brilliance to serve the main characters who can't hold a candle to him. My kind of love for Castiel means that it would be an insult to not feel sad and outraged about him. There is not even a grain of "positivity" in that show that is uncontaminated with the injustice done to his character. As far as I am concerned, nobody on earth deserves to be happy because of what was done to Castiel, because it could never be undone. (this is hyperbole, of course. I don't actually want to make other people unhappy unless they want company in misery. That's why I put heavy warning on the bitterest of my posts.)

I'm aware of how melodramatic I am about a TV show character. I am aware all of it is written to elicit reactions, all of it is artifice, and I am picking and choosing what I love and hate about it. I am aware there are real social injustices that deserve my outrage a lot more. The thing is I have never cared about fictional characters. It is unfathomable why I chose this sickness of taking Castiel seriously, as real flesh and blood and grace and spirit being in a half-real half-fake universe. If I allow myself to be objective, if I allow myself to acknowledge that he is not real (rather, just the sum of a series of often inconsistent writing and production decisions by a large heterogeneous mixture of people) in order to get away from the misery, I would then also have no reason to care about him at all. And that's unacceptable, at least for now. I dread the day, possibly not far away now, when I will wake up from this dream.

Back to part of why I keep thinking and writing about the show when I am so bitter about it. Something occurred to me. The show didn't just create Castiel out of thin air. The show's underlying universe came from the wellspring of the Abrahamic religions and related lore and a lot of the characters/stories are taken directly from the bible. Yet, it made God and its world order, including heaven and angels, corrupt and evil and ultimately vanquished.

I am not criticizing the show about making God evil. But If the show gets to trash its source material, in fact subverting its source material being the cornerstone of the show, then why can't I?

I am "canon parallel".

#castiel #anti dean winchester #dean critical #bitter cas fan #spn critical #anti winchesters #my ramblings #my insanity #my castiel manifesto

[astralcamellia]

Day 049

the emotionally constipated "you hopeless fool, you nearly died this time!" vs the oblivious "did you really come to the infirmary just to yell at me, inspector"

#my art #2024 #sketch #fan character #genshin impact oc #gi sei #canon x oc #dottore x oc #i read one (1) eroch = dottore post and ran with it #new bitter flavor of story route to the reincarnated would-be-lover idea #very キメラ 「lost love / new hatred」 of them #goodnight everyone #ca

[castielmacleod]

Remember in 15x06 (t-minus 12 episodes before the “most caring man on earth” speech btw) when Dean literally almost brought Cas to tears by giving him a hard time on the phone and then hanging up on him when Cas needed his help to cover for him on a case. I think about it a lot because it’s FAR from the worst interaction Cas has ever had with Dean ESPECIALLY as of late, but it’s still the fact that Dean was clearly less interested in actually warning Cas about Chuck and more interested in making Cas feel guilty for leaving (even though Dean more or less pushed Cas out the door) and for not wanting contact with them. It was still awful enough of an interaction for Cas that it visibly frustrated him to such a point.

Because we know Cas is in the process of trying to leave a categorically abusive relationship here. He is obviously trying very hard to have no contact with Dean to the point of ignoring even Sam, so he definitely would not have wanted to fall back to calling the Winchesters’ fake FBI phone if it hadn’t been absolutely necessary for his investigation. He didn’t intend or want to talk to Dean himself but Dean forced it—and knowing Dean, it was almost certainly a power thing over any actual demonstration of care or worry for Cas’ wellbeing. Regardless of Dean’s intentions, though, it was clearly not an interaction Cas was comfortable with having, and even that relatively small amount of harshness from Dean over the phone was enough to bring Cas to this

So case in point is that this interaction on its own may not be the worst ever, and sure Dean did the bare minimum of covering for Cas and telling him about Chuck, but in the context of what happened before (Cas was more or less driven out of the bunker by Dean’s belligerence and refusal to cut him even the slightest break) and what Cas was trying to do (leave the person who was treating him poorly to the point of having no contact for his own personal wellbeing, and in the meantime solve a case in order to save people) then Dean using the situation to force Cas into talking to him only to guilt trip him and make him feel still beholden to Dean despite Dean himself having pushed Cas away, and then hanging up on him, is just. Incensing. 

#Dean critical #Safeantidestiel #Bitter Cas Fan Days #Found this in my drafts so I figured it might as well add it to the day’s mix #My posts #Tw abuse mention

[confusedkittensposts]

No cas did not care about the whole world because of Dean because Dean never like cas if he thought about the big picture

if cas had choosen to stay with angles in season nine dean would have been violent towards him

dean knew that he was going dark that all of it will end bad and even when he saud that they would be enough at the end it had to cas alone

they stole the relationship cas had with claire and then cut the scene where it was showed that cas texted claire off screen

they made winchesters more important than cas in jak's life even when the brothers used jack just like they used him. they did not allow him to have a say in his own child's life

No Dean isn't selfless or most loving or caring, and a part of me belives Cas knew that but he wanted that moment to be happy it was about him allowing himself to be happy so he painted a picture of the man he loved as someone actually lovable and he knew that its something he can't have but at that moment he had to weaponize it and he did that

other part of me belives that SPN creaters are jeakrs

#Bitter Cas Fan Days

[bisaster-energy]

something something the cop-ification of the winchester bros. that one post about how dressing up as custodians or plumbers is 100% more effective than g men. the way they think should be trusted by all others and those that do not trust them with everything are untrustworthy themselves. the mentality that is pushed in law enforcement shows that cops should be allowed to do whatever break rules violate rights "for the greater good." dean would literally have said acab if given the chance. im not connecting shit but gimme a break it's almost 3am

#ik it's because the show is written so one sidedly that the narrative always agrees with them #and the fact that basically all other disguises were pushed aside to make room for the fbi schtick #but dean hates cops right?? at least he did in early seasons? #this probably doesn't even make sense but do u see what im tryna say??? #they just reminded me of it like #cas had several moments where he legitimately made sense and the only reason he was wrong was for plot reasons #the narrative literally made it impossible for him to be in the right ever. and in the beginning #there are times where he legit doesn't have reason to trust the brothers. #cas as a villain doesn't really stick but like.. misguided hero is just patronizing #like they always have to be right and if they don't agree with something think it's bad it's automatically wrong. #i cant even remember the men of letters beef but im like 90% sure most of it was unnecessary #sam and dean do whatever and are easily forgiven and even applauded but any other character even cas a MAIN CHARACTER #are shit on so hard not even by fans but by LITERAL CANON EVENTS #it's so annoying and gives me the same exact feel as some stupid scene in a cop show where like..idk #some citizen takes the law into their hands and the cops are like that's so wrong and next episode the plot is them breaking the law #oh also: #bitter casgirl hours are 24/7

[1967-impala]

"I am one of those weirdos who both loves AND hates destiel, so I post about both. "

It's so fascinating to me I genuinely am in awe of you for being able to do that. I am the dot creature on the bitter Cas fan one dimensional line waving at you some two dimension creature that I understand the concept of but can not conceive in a concrete way.

If you care to explain why I would be very interested to hear it. You don't owe anybody any explanation of course.

Hello sweet anon!! A friendly bitter Cas wave to you too!

I’ll be honest ya- I have no frickin clue lol. So I’m just going to throw some thoughts out there, but I don’t have a true answer.

I think the main contributions are the fact that:

1) my brain hyperfixates on stuff —> destiel has been/is one of those, and I don’t really have power over what my brain chooses lol. I like some of the dynamics of destiel (e.g. I’m a sucker for the whole “raising from perdition” thing lol)

2) I’m critical of media —> so I also appreciate listening to destiel crit, and I do feel passionate about it, too, because I am invested in cas’ well-being.

3) I also believe you can be a fan of media without supporting all of it; it’s ok to enjoy certain aspects if you are also conscious about how you might internalize toxic things*. —> I feel confident enough in my ability to say, “hey. This is a toxic relationship. Don’t do this irl/Watch out for these things. But consuming this media is for MY entertainment only, so I can just ignore certain things if I want to and enjoy my hyperfixation, too”.

* (of course, this isn’t always true. Some toxic media you just shouldn’t watch/support, tbh. And I would love to listen if anyone thinks spn/destiel falls under this category! /gen).

4) I think that it’s helpful that cas and dean aren’t truly my blorbos. I love them, but I will never be as emotionally invested in them as I am Crowley. So it doesn’t really hurt me when I see crit, and I’m also not invested enough in cas to feel bad about enjoying destiel, even if it isn’t good for his character.

5) I also think it helped that I was a late destiel shipper. Like, watching the show originally, I never saw destiel. But then I hyperfixated on spn fandom before spn itself, so destiel just kinda got absorbed in that lol. And then I was already shipping them by the time Nov 5 came around.

I think probably the sentence I bolded is the best summary. I don’t think this mini essay truly gets at why I have the 2-dimensionality of loving and hating destiel, instead of just being neutral about it, but it’s as close as an explanation i can figure out lol.

Thanks for the ask!! :)

(Also thanks for being so nice about it too, because I know people get really heated over destiel and destiel crit!)

#wow I just did a 360 rotation of my brain under a mental microscope as if I was going to write a thesis on how my mind works lol #also no hate to hellers or bitter cas fans!!! these are just my thoughts and I hope my tone didn’t sound judgy at all either way!! #ok but honestly being called some 2 dimensional creature is probably like the biggest compliment I’ve ever gotten so thank u! /Gen #Damien chats #Nov 5 #asks

[argentinosaurus]

you know what's funny. the other day i tried watching the spn episode with mike farrell which used to be one of my favourites back in the day and the winchesters were mean to cas and it pissed me off so much that i had to turn it off.

#i'll always be a bitter cas girl before anything else but also sam and dean seemed so annoying to me for some reason too lmao #this is coming from someone who was a diehard fan at fifteen and a reluctant one at 20 and so on #and honestly the show has some good episodes but i never found them as annoying as i did in that episode #and its funny because there are certainly worse episodes to complain about #how does one change ....

[dotthings]

Probably preaching to the choir here since the spn people who follow my tumblr already know this, but for anyone who needs to hear it, no, Jensen was not "blindsided by the confession." He was filled in months in advance. He had months to ponder it. He and Misha talked about it. Misha and Jensen talked about it with Bobo. They all talked about. We've been told this, in bits and pieces, from various sources. The reason Bobo told Misha first was because by necessity, Misha needed to adjust how he played Cas in the final season to make it a bit more overt. On things that previously had been an undercurrent, and there in the performance, but when they realized that the confession was going to be greenlit, they realized they could lean on it more instead of treading carefully. Misha himself, fyi, said for years, he thought Cas was kinda into Dean and he put a bit of that into his performance, but Misha also was surprised they were permitted to go so far in openly acknowledging that feeling with 15.18, finally.

The reason Jensen wasn't told right off is that Dean couldn't know how Cas felt, and Jensen's method isn't to read ahead, he's told us many times, he doesn't read ahead because he wants Dean's reactions to be as organic as possible. So that was by necessity so Jensen would be playing Dean oblivious to just how far Cas's feelings towards him went. This was an actual plot point of Dean doubting their bond even. He was still informed well ahead of time, with plenty of time for discussion and processing and nothing we have ever heard has indicated he had any negative feeling whatsoever or wariness about Cas's confession.

Jensen in fact was visibly and openly pleased with 15.18 and the confession, as evidenced in PR interviews and all this has been heavily documented already. He has repeatedly praised the episode, and every time he sounds so proud of it and so excited, and he indicated on repeat occasions how excited he was for fans to see it.

In his post-spn comments, Jensen has said he wants to do a follow up where Dean and Cas get to talk about the goodbye scene and Jensen expressed that Dean was devastated, and that Dean wishes he'd told Cas I love you too and hugged him back. There's other examples I could cite.

Make-believe wankbaiting games from bitter anti-shippers is not ever going to make it so that Jensen was snuck up on, conspired against, stabbed in the back, or "blindsided" by the 15.18 confession. Once he was filled in he immediately held Misha's cape and supported Misha and Cas expressing himself.

#Jensen Ackles #Destiel

[midnightarcheress]

Simon lives up to the nickname. 

pairing: bodyguard!ghost x actress!reader 2 | gold rush masterlist.

every time you set a foot out of the house, he’s there. surely, a few steps behind, just like the orders say, but he’s there, hauntingly following you like a true ghost. lurking in the darkness or making himself known in broad daylight, he takes the job seriously, glaring at the people on the street who even dare to glance at you. it’s even worse when fans stop you for an autograph or a picture, towering by your side and meticulously watching every move made in your direction, getting ready to pounce at any minute.

the first few days were weird. he could sense how disconcerted you acted in his presence, even while flashing him a smile and saying a sugary ‘good morning’. maybe it was his size, maybe it was the mask, maybe it was the fact that a man was actively following you nearly every second of the day. the last thing he wanted was to frighten you.  

after a few weeks though, he noticed you getting accustomed to his company. he watched from behind how your back wasn't as tense, how you stopped glancing over your shoulder to check if he was still there, how you weren’t jumping anymore when he’d get closer, how you even tried to make small talk, despite his grunt-like answers. 

Simon didn’t want to admit it, but he couldn’t have been more wrong about you. you weren’t a pretentious rich brat as he expected. you were always polite, always smiling, always treating everyone in your way with nothing but kindness, something he wasn’t used to seeing. he reasoned that it was just your job as a very public person, after all, you had an image to uphold and he’d never actually seen you without the constant risk of being photographed and blasted online.

but in that moment, he couldn’t help the genuine concern for your safety starting to fill his chest and surpass the mere contract bond. he would catch himself staring at you for a little too long as you walked together, eyes attentively chasing the sway of your hips in each movement of your legs, the delicate way your finger held a pen whilst signing your name, your beaming irises whenever a child recognized you. he couldn’t bear the idea of being acknowledged on the street for his acts like you do.

“just ignore them.” you say, looking over your shoulder and noticing him stopping on his tracks on the pavement. for Simon, dealing with the paparazzi has been the most difficult part. military training comes in both an advantage and disadvantage, as his sniper eyes bust them from a mile away, spotting the greedy lens with intense precision, no matter how well-hidden they think they are. but the hard task is to keep his anger and itch to rip the camera apart at bay, when all they want is to snap you in bad light and sell it to the first rubbish magazine.

he grumbles, muttering cuss words under his breath. “you’ll get used to it.” the sympathetic tone of your voice eases a bit of his annoyance, going back into walking right behind you. 

the smell of freshly brewed coffee fills his nostrils as he opens the door of a small cafe for you to come in, rapidly scanning the room for threats. at that point, he already had your order memorised by heart. medium iced americano, no sugar. too bitter of an option for someone who looked so sweet, despite being accompanied by whatever muffin the store had left. 

“Ghost?”

his crossed arms tense up when you call for him, brows knitting together as he assesses the situation for any problem that may have appeared in the seconds he stood distracted by the waving of your hair under the air conditioning breeze. “mhm? what is it?”

“i asked you if you want anything.”

his knee-jerk reaction is to say a hasty no, thanks, but he’s finding it harder and harder to deny your offerings each day, when the small curve of your lips as you patiently wait for his response is so tempting. think faster. “uh, guess i could go for a tea. earl grey.” 

you nod and hand the barista your card, quickly paying for the order and standing by the counter. he remains a few steps back, waiting for the drinks with you. as soon as it’s ready, you hand him the cup of tea, fingers gently grazing over his, sending lightning sparks on his skin. keep to yourself, Simon. 

he shakes the feeling away and opens the door again, catching your eyes flicking to the silver pendant around his neck. once again, old habits die hard. he still wears his dog tags, the glinting metal serving as a constant reminder that he’s Simon Riley civilian, but will always be Simon Riley soldier. 

“military?” you question, stepping back to match his pace and walk by his side, curious eyes searching for his hardened gaze.

“yes.” his voice is sharp, settled in not prolonging the conversation.

you hum, turning your head back to the horizon, “that explains your skill set.” only then he shifts to see your face, raised eyebrows and question marks oozing out of his head. you chuckle, amused by his confused expression, “i got a file on you too, Simon.”

#simon ghost riley #simon riley #ghost #ghost cod #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x you #f!reader #fem!reader #ghost x reader #ghost x you #ghost imagine #ghost fanfiction #bodyguard!ghost #bodyguard!simon #actress!reader #bodyguard au #cod mw #cod mw2 #cod mw3 #gold rush #bodyguard!ghost ☾ #nyx writes ☾ #midnightarcheress

[aturnoftheearth]

like the idea of a supernatural revival or whatever because any of the following outcomes would be a win, either to further my bitterness or bring me peace:

a. likely: they cut cas out completely, forever cementing him as the worst treated character of team free will (don’t bother with any more polls), and this inevitably leads to some funny tweets/posts about how jensen ackles didn’t want to leave cas out !!!! he actually wanted them to gay kiss on tv !!! but Big CW shut him down again >:( even if they’re not on the CW anymore. hashtag they silenced him.

or

b. more likely: they bring cas back but don’t mention destiel at all. misha collins says for $500 USD he’ll get on cameo and give his own headcanon. fans of him fund it in 20 minutes. it’s 37 seconds long and awful and shallow and he says “dean tells cass to ‘get out of his ass’ again” while winking very explicitly and end recording. insert scenario a for the jackles thing here.

or

c. most likely: cas back, love confession addressed. cas is like “dean i assure you that, above all, i value our friendship.” dean politely says “hey man, you’re my best buddy, and i really appreciate you. you know that, right? alright good talk.” and claps his shoulder on his way out of the frame, leaving cas with the sad yet contemplative look. okay that’s all no more addressing anything UNLESS it’s a multi-episode thing, in which case they include some sort of bait. a potentially longing look-back from dean, a disappointed? resigned? look from him after walking away, etc.

and bonus least-likely but best possible scenario:

d. destiel canon. old mutuals return. content creation  renaissance. this website becomes inhabitable. another 3 years of lovesickness on ye.

#i do feel like i just made this post like a month ago but i’m doing it again

[vaicomcas]

OMG I woke up on New Year's Day groggy and bleary eyed and what do I see in my email-- I have been gifted a magical, beautiful, Cas-centric, crowstiel, dadstiel fic based on the Crowstiel holiday poll!

It's SOOOOO good... so perfect... I say it as literal truth that it's the best gift I have ever received.

Thank you @lerry-hazel, your kindness and your talent is astounding.

Raw linseed oil, juiced spurge leaves, and a brunch of a worshiped tree (3188 words) by Lerry_Hazel Chapters: 4/4 Fandom: Supernatural (TV 2005) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Castiel & Crowley (Supernatural) Characters: Castiel (Supernatural), Crowley (Supernatural), Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Kelly Kline (Supernatural) Additional Tags: The Lance of Michael (Supernatural), Fix-It of Sorts, Alternate Angel Lore (Supernatural), Minor Character Death, don't worry - it's lucifer, Magic, Dean Winchester Being an Asshole, Fluff, Post-Episode: s12e12 Stuck In The Middle (With You) (Supernatural), Canon-Typical Violence, Made-up Lore Summary: ‘That’s just it,’ Castiel said, his blue eyes gleaming enthusiastically. ‘I think we have all been dwelling too much on what could have happened, and not enough on what the Lance was meant to do.’

#castiel #crowley spn #fan fic #the best #I once said there can be no happiness for us bitter cas girls #but I was wrong

[torturedpoetemotions]

Jensen on Destiel

Okay! So we're always getting "Jensen doesn't like Destiel and said it wasn't real one time years ago" thrown in our faces by bitter no-lifes who can't just let other people enjoy things. So I thought it'd be fun to compile a list of all the times Jensen talked positively about Dean and Cas's relationship!

Right now it's just a list of things I remember from being in this fandom since 2011. Eventually I will add links to sources, video sources wherever possible. Watch this space!

(Also, if there's something that isn't referenced here, feel free to reblog or reply and I'll add it to this post! I want to grow this post as big as possible so we can always remind ourselves how little the one or two comments antis constantly reference actually matter, especially given how much of this comes after those comments were made, indicating Jensen has long since changed his mind.)

Straight from the Jackles Mouth

Jensen talking about Dean and Cas's relationship and how important it is to Dean.

Jensen talking about the confession scene, Castiel's goodbye, and he, Misha, and Dick improvising the handprint.

"Dean has no taste, clearly."

"What are you looking forward to tackling this season?" "Cas."

Jensen talking about he and Misha watching and sharing fan reactions to the confession.

Jensen talking about asking a crew member to film the confession on his phone so he can remember it as Jensen and not only as Dean.

Jensen talking about a lot of his reaction being cut out of the confession scene's final edit.

Talking about Dean and Cas's relationship transcending human understanding (yes I do count this, he was trying to do damage control after Jared's homophobic rant).

Saying Dean wasn't making any decisions in the confession scene, which emphasizes that Dean was not rejecting Cas by not being able to say anything back in the moment.

Saying after Cas was gone Dean was thinking "I didn't give him anything. I should have said "I love you, too."

Saying if s15 Dean (who was LITERALLY SO MAD AT CAS HE COULDN'T LOOK AT HIM for half the season) could give s4 Dean any single piece of advice, it'd be to keep the weird angel around because he'll be the best friend Dean's ever had.

Talking about Dean and Cas's reunion and how he hopes we'll get to see it someday. It would be a big hug and then "can we talk about that good-bye a little bit?"

-

Fan Encounters

"I live it" in reference to Destiel fanart.

Signing Destiel fanart, switching his pen to match Misha's where he'd already signed it.

Choosing the Lovers tarot card for Destiel

CasDean 4 Lyfe photo op

Calling a Destiel kissing fanart the papparazzi shot

#ja destiel positivity #supernatural #destiel #spn cast #jensen ackles #let me be clear: we don't need jensen's say so for destiel to be a valid and highly supportable interpretation of canon #but for anyone feeling down and out when bitter antis start spamming your inbox: this is for you

[castielmacleod]

Unfriendly—hostile, in fact—reminder that Cas did NOT care about the whole world or learn to love because of Dean. He had canonically been getting involved with humanity and straying from the host all throughout history, with Naomi wiping his mind clean after the fact just as many times. Rebelling to stop the apocalypse may have been the one he finally got away with, but Cas has ALWAYS been the one of the line with a crack in his chassis and if you ignore that core trait of his in favour of giving credit to his abuser for the sake of making your ship look like it means something then you’re being wilfully ignorant, is the thing.

#My posts #Dean critical #Bitter Cas Fan Days #Safeantidestiel

[confusedkittensposts]

I came to this fandom because of Misha Collins and did not take long to fall in love with the angle of thrusday

It sacres me sometimes because I know what it feels like to not fit in, to be the different, to have questions that are brushed off, to not be explained things and still try and fail

its been two years since castiel died in Despair, and we got a throw away line in 15x20 telling us that he is out of the empty

I have read a lot of fanfics good ones and the absolute crimes where they spell 'cass'. I have read happy ones(aus ofcourse) and the sad ones

There are a thousand fics that use cas only to adress dean's truma, that make cas forgive dean with nothing but a single line

yes there are fics that actually adress cas's problems but they are far and few

I have no problem with dean's problem being adressed of that man actually healing but not at castiel's expnse

Castiel deserved to heal perhapes more than anyone he had been suffering for years even before he became tangled in winchester mess.

I would have written more but @vaicomcas your most made be breakdown and there is so much I can write with tears in my eyes so this is it for today

#castiel #Bitter Cas Fan Day

[geekthefreakout]

So, I've been having this thought.

Crowley, perhaps post-bookshop divorce, is sitting in a pub or a coffee shop and the server calls his name, but they say it wrong.

They pronounce it like with the "ow" sound, like in Supernatural. And Crowley, mildly miffed, is like "where did you get that from?"

And the server is a Supernatural fan and explains that there's a demon named Crowley-like-owl-not-crow who helps stop the apocalypse.

And Crowley is like "imagine that. That's weird. Say more."

And the server explains a bit. How SPN!Crowley is this demon who is aware that should the big fight happen, he won't be counted among the winners regardless of which way it goes, and he just wants the world to keep on as it is, so he joins forces with the Winchesters and their renegade angel to stop it. He becomes King of Hell after to fill the power vacuum (and here GO!Crowley gives a bitter scoff) and he is both a villain and a hero and sometimes neither of those things.

Crowley inquires more about the angel, Castiel, and the server enthusiastically describes him. They remark that Crowley(spn) and Castiel have a fun dynamic, because they hate each other but also have to work together, because they're in love.

Crowley looks dumbfounded, and of course the server can't know why, but they do clarify that they are in love with Dean, not each other. Dean being a stand-in for humanity, of course, which is how the show runners wanted you to see it.

"But then at the end they FINALLY let Cas be all the way gay for Dean. Like, a decade of subtext and queer baiting denial, and FINALLY with 2 episodes left in the whole show, they let Cas tell Dean that he cares about humanity because he cares about Dean. Like, he actually gets to tell him he's in love with him."

A pause.

"Well, and then he gets sucked directly to Turbo Hell, so. That sucked. It went canon in THE most homophobic way possible, which is kind of on brand for the show--"

"Turbo hell?????? What is that, the tenth circle?"

"Oh, the place that angels and demons go when they die. The Empty. They don't get an afterlife, they just sleep forever and dream about the bad stuff. It's pretty awful, but Cas gets rescued from their off screen by the end so at least that's something-"

"What about the demon?"

"Oh, Crowley-like-owl? He got killed off for good at the end of season 12."

Crowley-like-crow stares through his sunglasses and the server elaborates again. For some reason, they haven't been called to other tables for anything the entire time they've been speaking.

"It was a good death, I think. He died to save the boys and trap Lucifer in another dimension- it's complicated. But he got to say that he actually hated being King of Hell, and he hated Lucifer, and he got to go out on a good deed. I think the actor was tired of the writers playing around with the character's arc. Walking back development, never committing to what they wanted to do with him... And that led to Crowley being kinda inconsistent and underappreciated. So he asked to be killed off and he walked away from the show."

"Huh. Shame, that."

"Yeah, everyone missed him. There are some characters that I REALLY wish he'd gotten to meet. And I also wish that he got a little more love."

"He was a demon. Love's not exactly in their repertoire."

"It's not supposed to be. It was, though. Cas practically invented free will because he loved Dean. And I guess Crowley also didn't fit into the mold God had set for him, either."

"I suppose God's Plan is... Ineffable in the show."

"I mean. Kinda at first? But the last season God is fully the bad guy."

"WHAT??"

Anyway, Crowley watches Supernatural and has no idea if he hates it or not. He probably does. But somehow, Crowley-like-owl and Castiel and their often unappreciative charges make his heart ache. He deliberately notes all the ways that Castiel is nothing like Aziraphale, thank you very much. He supposes he's glad that Adam never turned either of them into action figures.

He watches and he tries not to wish Aziraphale was watching with him.

#good omens #supernatural #sam writes stuff #idk just had this thought #crowley good omens #crowley spn #destiel #drowley #ineffable husbands #aziraphale #aziracrow

[will-pilled]

Montague

Possibly triggering stuff? Self harm, CA, SA.

Montague personality (summary, due to limited information):

Montague is controlling, as is evident. He comes off as very calm and collected, and seems like a rather calculating and "pulling the strings" sort of man. Can be very aggressive. Headcanons:

He/him cis man - Unlabled but prefers masculine leaning/androgynous individuals. (British cig) It's more aesthetics he's attracted to.

He is not a huge animal person, but Oscar was okay when he was around I guess..

Fashionista and artist, designs his outfits.

Fave colors are blue, white, black, blue-gray, and silver.

Knows a lot about rocks and crystals, keeps it to himself though because he doesn't want to look dorky.

He is very French, and swears in French often as well as muttering to himself and breaking into French speaking when flustered or overwhelmed.

Loves sweet and salty deserts as well as very savory food.

Really likes knives. They're neat.

He isn't a good man. He isn't even an anti hero. But he is very easy to feel bad for.

Not a fan of children, not at all.

Kind of a sarcastic ass hole. Not kind of, a huge one. Dry humor and sarcasm. *Blank stare* "Are you stupid?"

Skin care and hygiene freak, takes pride in how he looks.

The Society was the closest he had to friends, so when they all ditched each other he became bitter as FUCK.

He does want a romantic relationship BUT he also terrified of being close to someone. He doesn't want to risk someone being in control of him or being rejected or left. he has a VERY intense "leave people before they can leave me" mentality, but isn't really aware of it.

Borderline Personality Disorder - Is extremely convinced there is nothing wrong with him which leads him to be very "anti recovery," and makes him indulge a lot in unhealthy habits and actions. Has some narcissistic traits but not enough to have Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

He *appears* calm and collected, but the moment he is sure he is alone he may fall into a hole-in-wall-punching fit of rage. Him breaking things is not uncommon. He takes his anger out on objects the most. He wants to fill the hole in his heart with objects and power. He chases the temporary highs of stealing, the chase, being in control of someone, and even perhaps drugs if he is bored enough. He only smokes in front of others, as he avoids doing most others in front of people due to more noticeable effects. He feels rather empty.

Intense need for control over himself and others, and in turn hates losing his shit. He HATES when things don't go his way for this reason as well, and his stealing also goes into this as he wants to control items and where they are.

A bit of a stalker, but not too bad. Stalking socials is his biggest thing.

(Potentially triggering? Self harm.) He did the eye scar to himself. No cool backstory or funny accidents. He did it to himself to look the way HE wanted to look. To control how he looks and what happens to his body. He never talks about how he got it, but loves it. Likely has other scars as well in intricate patterns and pictures. Doesn't really do it anymore because he honestly got bored of it. Not because he got better in any sense of the phrase.

(!CA, SA!)

Montague grew up with a very emotionally abusive and controlling father (Montague is sadly repeating the cycle it seems). He wasn't hit much by his dad, but was often picked on by peers for his queerness and being "girly." which caused his aggressiveness, though since he can do "whatever he wants" he is more open about it now. Not really "price flags everywhere" kind of open (though ngl I could see Meowscles being like that fucking bi and transgender ass cat) but more of a "clear closet"/"Is he... Y'know?" kinda open. He doesn't care for either parent much, they were both distant and let money raise him so he doesn't have much of an attachment to either of them. He has no feelings for them and when he came to the island he felt little to no grief at losing his old life other than his money and power.

He was assaulted when he was a young adult for a period of time by an employer, who had a great deal of influence and control. This is also where Montague's "I want influence and power" mindset comes from as well, so he will NEVER be at someone else's mercy again. He feels anger over it. He is no "perfect victim."

#montague hcs for twitter #I have a little community on there now :3 #montague #fortnite #montague fortnite #fortnite montague #tw sa #tw child abuse #cw queerphobia