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donkey-hyuck · 2 years

Text

¡MASTERLIST!

WORD COUNT - 11,811

GENRE - angst lol | fluff (in the beginning) | lovers2exes!au | bittersweet | slow burn

CHARACTERS/PAIRING - underground boxer!johnny x photographer!fem!reader | Taeil + Ten + Taeyong (w/ mentions of Mark)

INTRODUCTION - things haven’t gotten better. you’d been distancing yourselves and never felt the love you once shared. yet, you always knew about your inevitable end. and you were for real about leaving this time.

TAGLIST - @bitchenderyy @mrkklee

A/N - i love gracie abrams. this song is track three on the ‘this is what it feels like’ album and track two on the playlist. thanks for reading, loves ( thank you guys for putting up with me being an awful writer.) <3 also thank you to @morningsunandnightsky for helping me edit and proofread on such a short notice!

Young love was everything that a person could wish for. The ambiance of childish love that would hopefully turn into something more was probably one of the most beautiful things a human being can experience.

Unless the unfortunate happens, and then that young love turns into something inevitable.

PAST: 2010-2013

You met Johnny during your sophomore year of high school. He was funny yet hard-headed but he also got what he wanted. But you were even more hard-headed, and you didn’t give in until you really wanted something. Until you really wanted him.

“I said no,” you turned to the infamous Johnny Seo and gave him a stern face.

“Oh come on! You know you really want to,” he wiggled his eyebrows and gave you a slick smile.

“What is it gonna take for you to leave me alone?” you whined back at him. You were tired of his games. If he wasn’t serious about going on a date with you (which you were sure he had something planned up his sleeve), then why would you waste your time and say ‘yes.’

“Go out with me.”

“In your damn dreams, Seo.”

—

By the time your senior year came by, you and Johnny were the new couple. You fixed your wounded relationship over the summer and shared your vulnerabilities to the one person you learned to trust the most. And when September finally came, you and Johnny proudly claimed your three-month anniversary. Of course, it was nothing special, but Johnny cared; and it was enough for you.

“Come on, don't be such a party pooper, Y/n,” he whined.

“If it’s something expensive I'm not going,” you crossed your arms and looked at him through the opened window of his car.

The boy only laughed at you and asked you to sit in the car again, “It’s only at my house. I promise I didn’t do anything extravagant. Plus we can work on homework together.”

You squint your eyes at him, not trusting a word that came out of his mouth. But you liked him enough to eventually trust his words and get into the car. You were only teasing him, anyway.

Fortunately, it was a Friday. Your three-month anniversary landed on the best day of the week and you were now able to hang out with Johnny the whole weekend. Or not talk to him the whole weekend if he lied to you.

But Johnny was right. He didn’t do much. He didn’t even let you get food on the way home. However he did have a reason why.

“Okay close your eyes, love,” he pleaded, knowing you would be suspicious of his plan.

You purse your lips with your arms still crossed and sighed before giving in and closing your eyes. God, you liked Johnny so much. No, you loved him. You were sure of it. You didn’t know when people usually say the ‘L’ word but you were so damn close to saying it multiple times. But it wasn’t going to be you who said it first.

He led you through the back door to the backyard which was decorated with pretty lights and soft colors. Just the way you like.

And on the table that was prettily decorated with flowers, were dishes of your favorite foods, both sweet and savory. This was so extravagant. Johnny was a liar. You loved it.

He placed you perfectly in front of the table with your eyes still closed and his arms wrapped around your shoulders.

“Okay, I think you can open them,” he breathed out. But before you could even move your hands he stopped you.

“Wait!” He quickly fixed the small vase of flowers the correct way and came back to your side.

“Okay, now you can open them.”

And when you did you were more than shocked. Why did he do all this? When did he do all this?

Your mouth was agape, staring at the scenery before you. And you were actually going to cry.

You covered your mouth with your hand and turned to your right to face the man himself. He could see the tears that were forming in your eyes. To which made his eyes widen and hold you against him.

“Wh-what.. Why are you crying? Do you not like it?” He frantically asked, too scared to hear you say that you didn’t like it.

Instead of answering him with words, you released his gentle hold on you and playfully punched his chest.

“You doofus.” You sniffled, “I thought you said it was nothing extravagant.”

He laughed, relieved to hear you say that you didn’t not like what he planned.

“It’s not, though. This was nothing, don’t worry about it, pretty. Let’s dig in,” he clapped his hands and led you to the chair in front of you (which, like the gentleman he is, he pulled out the chair for you and pushed you in).

He quickly took out the polaroid camera he prepared prior to capture the glorious moment that was the two of you. Mainly you, in Johnny's mind. He held the camera outwards and snapped the picture that you would cherish forever. And in that moment, you wished that things like these would last a lifetime.

Johnny was too busy telling stories and you were too busy laughing at them to notice his parents had arrived. They knew about Johnny’s plan all along, and opted to give the young couple some alone time.

“How did you even do this? You didn’t ditch school and come back, right?” You asked him.

“Of course not! Taeil came by earlier ‘cause I asked him if he could help me with this… But yeah, I also ditched Ms. Park’s wretched class to help him.”

You gasped at him and hit him on the shoulder again, “Why would you do that? You know she’s gonna come after you. Plus you didn’t have to do this at all.”

Johnny just shrugged and placed a chocolate-covered strawberry in his mouth, “I wanted it to be special.”

“Why?”

He paused for a moment.

“ ‘Cause I love you.”

PAST: 2014

This was the last summer of being teenagers before actually entering the real world. Johnny had been underground boxing since March. And you had taken up your passion for photography.

Your jobs— could you even call it that?— were not much but at least you both got paid enough to live alone. You moved out of your parents during spring break and Johnny (with the addition of Taeil, Taeyong, Doyoung, Ten, Jaehyun, and Mark) helped you move into your new apartment and make it your home. Johnny moved out of his parents house a couple months before you did and he really helped you with tips and tricks for moving into an apartment complex. And you were more than grateful to have him by your side.

You don’t know what you’d do if he ever left.

PAST: 2017

“Happy four-year anniversary, love!” Shouted Johnny right as you walked into his apartment.

He was supposed to be at some big boxing match that was worth up to ten-thousand dollars. But he didn’t attend because the night laid on your four years of being together. Quite literally high school sweethearts.

Actually, you were supposed to get out earlier and go out on a little late-lunch date to celebrate but your shoot lasted longer than you thought. The model you were shooting (as well as their team) were all dicks and didn’t let things go to plan. You were also supposed to meet Minji and Sowon for dinner but since Johnny never went to his match, you had to reschedule on them.

You were both twenty-two in the making and had been together since you were eighteen. It felt like quite the universe, being together with one person for such a long time. Watching them mature into the person they were. But you wouldn’t change it for the world.

So if something bad were to happen… you wouldn’t know what you would do.

PAST: 2019

Something bad was happening.

This was one of the worst major fights you had with Johnny since 2013. And you two didn’t fight a lot. Most of it was small bickering but even then, it was all for fun and games. But this fight was nothing of the sort.

“Then just leave! I don’t know why you’re here starting up a fight when you know I have to go,” he rubbed his forehead with his bandaged fists. He was getting ready for a match when you decided to come over and try to wish him some good luck. But obviously that good luck turned into the opposite.

“I just care for you! What’s so wrong with that?”

Johnny didn’t even answer you. He just put on his shoes and walked out of the door, tired of hearing your voice for the night.

You stared at the door he purposely slammed with tears dropping down your face. And before you could even comprehend what was going on you got a text from him.

‘lock the door when you leave.’

Un-fucking-believable.

You scrammed out of his house immediately and ran to your car. There was no way that just happened. You were on a video call with Minji and Sowon the entire ride back to your apartment. And they agreed, saying that Johnny was an absolute jerk and that they didn’t really like him in the first place.

“Honestly, I don’t even know why you put up with him for this long,” said Minji.

“Min, cut her some slack. We know how much Johnny loves her. He has tried so hard to please us,” Sowon responded.

Your friend just sighed and said to you, “Sorry, Y/n. I know he loves you. And I know you love him. He just doesn’t give me good vibes, that’s all. I’m not bashing your taste in men.”

“Minji!” Scolded Sowon.

The girl awkwardly laughed, “I’m just teasing, lightening up the situation you know? But in all seriousness, Y/n, Sowon and I are always here to cheer you up because of that dumbass.”

“Always have been,” Sowon added.

“Thank you, loves I don’t know what I would-” you were cut off to the doorbell ringing. Who the hell is that?

“I gotta go guys. Meet up at the cafe tomorrow morning?” You suggested. Your friends agreed and wished you goodnight before hanging up the call leaving you alone again.

The doorbell rang once more, as if this person were desperate to see you. Right when you opened it, you were met with a face you were sure you weren’t gonna see for at least a few days.

“John? What-”

“I’m sorry, angel.”

You cautiously opened the door for him as he walked in.

“I thought you had a match,” you reminded him.

“I did. But I sat in my car in the parking lot. I couldn’t bring myself to go in,” he informed you, rubbing his face.

“Why not?”

“ ‘Cause I love you too much.”

PAST: 2020

I know we’ve run it dry

I’ve heard that happens sometimes

I shouldn’t be surprised, should I?

You two hadn’t fought much. You would think that that was a good thing but in reality it wasn’t. In fact, the two of you barely even saw each other. Life just happens, you supposed. You both were busy and didn’t have time to check up on the other. But when you did, the conversation never lasted long.

Was this it?

No, there was no way. Johnny was always there for you. He always had been there for you. There was just a lack of communication and you were okay with that. Because Johnny seemed okay with that.

Maybe you should talk to him. Spend the night at his house again? Would he mind? You felt incredibly lost. And it was the perfect word to describe it. All these feelings could have been the result of a seven-year relationship.

No, maybe not. You had clients and co-workers that had been with their significant others for years way longer than you and Johnny and they seem to be happy together. Yeah, maybe there were more fights, but you would think that those couples were used to it by now. They had been together for ten-plus years, so they should be. So what was going on with you and Johnny?

—

You decided to visit Johnny at his apartment that night. Only to find out (from Taeyong) that he was at his parents house, doing God-knows-what.

Although you had been together for almost ten years, the last time you saw Johnny’s parents was about nine months ago. You didn’t want to barge into his parents house because you didn’t want to be rude, but you just wanted to spend some time with the man.

Possibly talk things out and see if your relationship is over or not. Because it sure damn felt like you weren’t feeling the love he once gave to you. Would that be okay?

You rang the doorbell of his parents house and you were met by his loveable mother. She was absolutely adorable and you cherished her in so many ways. And she learned to accept you as a possible daughter. But you didn’t think that time was coming soon.

“Y/n! I haven’t seen you in so long! I missed you. Johnny hasn’t been visiting home much. Only when it’s benefiting him,” she joked, to which you forced out an unforgivable laugh. “Please come in!” She welcomed you into the nostalgic house. Back when Johnny invited you over almost every weekend. The thought made you bitterly smile to yourself.

“Is Johnny here?” You asked her.

His mother turned around and looked to the garage door.

“He is. He’s fixing some stuff for my car. You can go out if you’d like.” She was an absolute angel.

You thanked her and made your way to the garage which you didn’t even realize was opened. You leaned against the door frame and watched him. Admired him. He was still the same Johnny you grew to love.

“Hey,” you spoke up, coming down the stairs as he turned his head toward you.

“Hi.”

“You don’t have a match tonight?” You asked, trying to spark up a conversation. As if nothing has changed between the two of you when you know damn well something was off.

“Nope. I canceled it this morning. I had to run errands,” he said, wiping his hands with a rag and turning his body to you.

“Anything wrong?” Yes.

“No. Just missed you, ‘s ‘all.”

He smiled at you. But not the same smile, you noticed. Yet he still came up to you and hugged you. Almost like this was going to be your last.

“Anything wrong with you?” You asked, dryly laughing.

He hummed out, “Nope. I just missed this.”

But why?

—

Your lover had been acting a little off since that day. He either always asked if you were busy or never kept in contact. It was the same routine every week and you were soon starting to get tired of being his back-and-call. This was not supposed to be how a seven-year relationship should act. Hell, you two still haven’t moved in together, let alone stay the night at each other’s place.

The whole thing was starting to get to you.

Then all of a sudden, all contact is cut off with Johnny. Not that he changed his number or anything. He just wouldn’t pick up your phone calls or text messages. You didn’t want to be the clingy girlfriend, either, so you just opted to give up. And instead of going on brunch dates with him, you spent your days working and editing more than you ever had in your life. But you were happy to at least have Taeil, Minji, Sowon, and Taeyong.

All relationships soon come to a close like this, right? You don’t know. You just needed to give yourself some hope. Hope that Johnny was not cheating on you. Hope that Johnny still loves you the same way he did seven years ago.

But sometimes, people aren’t meant for each other. It just hurts more than anything for you to accept that. You shouldn’t be surprised, though. Many people have gone through things like this. Many people have gone through worse.

Just stay neutral. It was all you could do now. You wanted to stay in this— what seemed like one sided— relationship. Your heart still belonged to Johnny. But another part of you screamed at you to leave. It was unfair to you. However it was also unfair for Johnny.

Could this really be it? Should you be the one to end things?

PRESENT: 2022

I think that maybe I was right

Back when I knew to draw the line

Two damn years had gone by. And it was the same old relationship you had in the past. The communication was going strong and then it slowly died down.

Going strong. Dying down. Going strong. Dying down. So on, and so forth.

You were just tired. Tired of waiting for Johnny to appreciate you the way you appreciate him. You pondered the burning question before. Was this over? Were you not a thing anymore? Was this it?

Is this how things are going to end? With unsolved problems and two people who can’t seem to even look each other in the eye.

Possibly.

Then why did you stay for so long? Why did he stay for so long?

—

“C’mon Y/n! Let’s go to the club! Clubbing is the best heartbreak remedy y'know,” sang Minji.

Your two best friends came over the minute you called them crying. It was nothing they hadn’t heard before and they were honestly sick of your rants. So the club was the best to-go. Plus, it was easy to convince you. It’s not like Johnny was there to say no anyway.

Sowon was busy looking in the mirror putting on her mascara, “You should come with us, love. Because sitting here is not gonna help you. Just come with us. Beats moping here by yourself. Plus you’ll have people to hang out with. Us.”

You sighed to yourself and looked into your closet, eyeing down the dress you had bought yourself online for the hell of it.

“Fine, I'll go. It’s not like I have anything better to do.”

The two girls cheered to finally have you on board. With everything going on with your supposed love of your life, the least you could do was spend a night out with the girls. It’s not like Johnny would know. It’s not like he would even care.

But oh, were you wrong.

Not even twenty minutes after arriving at the club, Johnny had bombarded you with text messages.

‘i’m at your place’

‘where are you?’

‘what are you doing?’

‘why are you not picking up?’

Ugh, not this again. You turned off your location and put your phone on ‘do not disturb.’ There was no way you were going to deal with this now. The damage was done and what you needed to heal was a night out with your girls. Zero guys fucking up your life.

All three of you danced the night away and did not give a care in the world. And damn it felt good. You were not ready to go home. You knew Johnny wouldn’t leave until he knew you were home. He still cared enough for you to continue loving him. You hated your feelings.

When you got home, the tiniest bit tipsy, Johnny was sitting on your couch. He immediately got up and walked toward the front door when he heard the beeping of the keypad of your door.

“Where the hell were you?”

You rolled your eyes and threw your coat on the hanger, “I was just out with Minji and Sowon. They wanted to go out tonight.”

“And you didn’t bother to tell me?”

What he said made you scoff in his face. Who did he think he was? Acting as if you were in the wrong.

“John, you barely tell me anything that’s going on with you. Why should I tell you that I’m going out? Besides, it was only one night.”

“Because I’m your boyfriend,” he retorted.

“Then fucking act like it,” you snapped back. “You never respond to my damn text messages or calls. The only time you do is when it’s relevant to you. And I’m so tired of it. I don’t want to sit here like some mistress you’re waiting to fuck.”

It was quiet for a moment. You didn’t dare look at him.

“Please, just get out. I need some time to think.”

And he listened. You could practically see the steam coming out of his ears.

But just as quick as he left, he came back.

“I’m sorry. I love you.” It’s okay. I love you too.

“Please leave.”

You should have ended this when you had the chance. You were just in too deep.

I guess the thought of it’s enough

You had all the time to ponder. But that pondering affected your job, and it made your boss angry. So angry that he let you have a break. A one-week break. You don’t know if that was a good or bad thing.

Good because you wouldn’t affect the company you work for and you would waste the models’ time.

Bad because that meant you had even more time to ponder your thoughts and create an even larger hole for yourself. God, this whole thing was a mess.

And then the show went down.

Day One:

You sat in bed the entire day. From the moment you opened your eyes to the moment you made dinner. It wasn’t healthy but nothing was healthy for you at this point. The whole Johnny and relationship situation was really taking a toll on your life.

And you hated that so much.

Day Two:

He called you. Asked if you were free. And like a little damn puppet you got up and got ready. For him.

When you got into his car, everything seemed to be the way they were. Back when everything was perfect with your relationship. But in reality, it wasn’t.

Johnny acted as if everything was okay. And although you hated it, you loved being with him. Even if it were for two minutes. But you were with him for two hours. You appreciated his attempt in fixing your wounded relationship. Just like the last dates where he fucked up and brought you out to take the blame off of him.

In those two hours, he made you feel like a teenager again. He made you feel as though you were the bestest thing that stumbled upon his life. And at some point you were. But you had to pretend as if nothing changed. As if Johnny was back and better than ever. It’s how you tricked yourself into being happy. Because truly, you were the happiest when you were with him.

At least, that’s what you told yourself.

Day Three:

He asked if you wanted to see his match that night. Although you weren’t an avid fan of what he does, you agreed.

You were so happy that he asked you that you just had to watch. It seemed as though he was trying to mend everything from the past, and you valued every moment you spent with him.

To add on, you had now seen him two days in a row. Maybe he was trying to make this whole situation better. God, you loved him so much. What were you thinking four days ago? Johnny was just being Johnny and maybe you had him back.

Oh boy.

Day Four:

He left you again. After the fight last night, it seemed as though he forgot you existed. You texted him ‘good morning.’ It was now three p.m. and there was not a peep.

What the fuck. You hated feeling like this.

Maybe if you texted him again he would respond.

Nope.

Again?

Nada.

Again?

Just give up.

You shut off your phone and closed your lamp. This break was horrible.

You were completely over him.

Day Five:

Still nothing. Not even a ‘left on read.’ He hadn’t even opened the messages you sent the day before.

Ugh how pathetic were you? Really going to let Johnny Seo piss you off?

Yes. Because you loved him. And he loved you.

He always says so.

Maybe you weren’t completely over him.

Day Six:

‘i’m sorry. i was busy.’ Fucking finally.

‘it’s alright. everything good?’

‘everything’s perfect. my parents want to have dinner tonight. are u down?’

‘ofc! lmk when so i can prepare stuff.’

‘don’t worry ab it. my parents love you. after nine years you would know that alr lol’

‘still. i don’t want to be rude.’

‘have i told u how much i love you?’

‘all the time.’

Dinner with his parents was the same as they always had been. Everything seemed perfect and his parents had suspected nothing of your relationship. You and Johnny were both pros at pretending, it seemed.

The night ended off with Johnny dropping you off. He placed the most gentle kiss on your forehead and wished you a goodnight. It made your heart flutter. It made you fall in love all over again.

Fucking idiot.

Day Seven:

This was the last day of your break and you were back to work tomorrow. Honestly you needed the distraction. But did you really?

This break was supposed to be relaxing, but instead you’re even more confused than before you left. Johnny’s present, and then he’s not. And then he is, then he leaves. Dammit you needed the closure.

But you would do anything for him. The week alone proved that. Even so, you thought you were done. But was it going to be for real?

No goin' back or switchin' up

I really wish that I could do that

Minji and Sowon were not supposed to know what you did over your break. You hadn’t even told them that you were on a break, per your boss's request. So you don’t know how they figured out you were with Johnny three out of the seven days.

“You’re fucking crazy Y/n!” Shouted Minji.

“Y/n… I’m sorry but what the fuck,” added Sowon.

They made you want to cry. You knew you should not have even been in contact with him. You just couldn’t help yourself. You loved him.

“Y/n, he’s a fucking psycho for doing that to you. You’re literally deteriorating. Min and I can see it in your eyes,” Sowon patted your shoulder.

“Y/n, I can't believe you! What was going on in that brain of yours?” Minji was beyond mad.

There goes the waterworks. They made you feel so shitty. But what hurt even more was that you knew they did it because they cared for you. They didn’t want you around Johnny Seo anymore. Your friends were right about him. But for some reason, he always had you crawling back to him. Like a little fucking bitch.

Ugh, you shouldn’t have seen him over your break. You shouldn’t have agreed to his plans and you shouldn’t have responded. What in the world were you thinking? But you wish not responding to him was that easy— it wasn’t.

It hurt because as much as you wanted to stay away from the man, you just couldn’t. Something from inside you couldn’t bring yourself to just drop him. In fact, you’d rather drop yourself if it meant you could have him. In your eyes, he was the same Johnny. The same Johnny from high school that you cherished with all your heart.

There was no going back, though. What was done was done and yet your friends knew you would still go back to that hell-of-a-douche. They don’t know what it would take to get their words through your thick ass head. It was almost like he had you on some sort of spell. And it was so damn hard to break it. It was hard for them and it was also hard for you.

As much as you wanted to go back and wish you never even met Johnny, he held a special place in your heart. And your heart couldn’t bear the thought of him leaving you.

So if you left him, he wouldn’t care, right?

Would you care?

Were you being for real this time?

Walkin' away from you is tough

You weren’t being for real. You just couldn’t.

Johnny had been a part of your life for so long that it seemed utterly impossible to just leave him like that. And sadly, you had learned to accept and love everything about him; from his family to his text messages. His very minimal text messages.

Everything was in the little things and you appreciated that he hadn’t stopped talking to you completely (completely as in, never talking to you again and disappearing off the face of the Earth). Which was how you ended up in the situation you had been in for the past couple years.

It astounded your friends how long you had stayed with him. They were completely flabbergasted every time they heard that you hadn’t dumped Johnny (or that Johnny dumped you). It was quite an odd relationship. They were sick of it. And they didn’t even like the guy.

It was unfortunate, how they always heard you say you were over it, knowing damn-well you would run back to him. You always have. Since the day you met him. Every time you would say it was the last and that you finally had enough. But human feelings just don’t work like that. Especially that of a, now, nine year relationship. Goddamn, time flew right by.

“Happy ninth to us,” he cheered, clinking his wine glass to yours. At least he took you out. But then it hit you.

You’d been going out with Johnny Seo for almost a decade. It's been almost ten years of his childish games. Senior year of high school to the present. That was fucking crazy.

No, you were ready to let him go. You just didn’t know how. Even if he still loved you the same way he did back and high school, he sure wasn’t showing it anymore. So it would be easy to leave him hopefully.

Just rip off the bandage.

You’d rather rip it slowly. You couldn’t just tear it off like it was a piece of duct tape.

You knew you just had to do it. You had enough, and you were ready to walk away from him. You were ready to let him go. No matter how much it hurts.

The end of your relationship was inevitable. From the minute you first met Johnny Seo during your sophomore year of high school. And only now did you realize it.

But how would you be able to survive without him?

He was everything you ever knew. And he knew you like the back of his hand.

God, just make up your fucking mind.

Already gave what I could offer

Maybe we'll work another time

Nine years of giving him your all. You took risks only a true loved one could do. With Johnny, though, he stopped giving you his all after five years. Did he have an attention span of five years or what? You don’t know. But you were done. Like, actually. You just didn’t know how to end it.

What was even worse was that he wanted you to move in with him, officially, during the previous summer. July. It sucked moving in with him, and it sucked that you didn’t realize your true feelings sooner. But it was too late and now seemed like the perfect time— hopefully.

He was at one of his matches when you tried to plan out the way you wanted to do this. And by this you meant, tell him how you felt, why you’re feeling like this, and how long you have felt like this. But, dammit, you were too afraid to tell him how you’ve felt and how he’s the reason behind it.

You and Johnny had been living with each other for about six months now. And at first you thought, finally, but now, you heavily regret agreeing or even thinking about eventually living with him. Though his home was home-y— the architecture and decorations were on point, you were not going to lie about that— it didn’t feel as secure as you had made yourself believe it was. You were just in denial. And with enough nagging from your friends made you realize it. Only it was too late for you to realize it and now you were too deep.

But maybe you weren’t. Sometimes relationships don’t last forever. It just works like that. Life just works like that. Soon, you could start growing apart from the person you least expected. As much as it ached in your heart, that was the devastating truth. People grow tired of the constant games and soon enough they’ll be out of your life. The relationship between you and Johnny seemed to prove that.

—

The morning that followed the intense thoughts that flooded your mind came way too quick. Johnny was cooking up a breakfast meal for you and him before you woke up and walked into the kitchen because of all the noise.

Without saying a word, Johnny smiled at you before focusing back on the stove which was cooking eggs, pancakes, and bacon. You sat at the island chair, staring straight into his back, sighing to yourself. What have you gotten yourself into?

This wasn’t the first time Johnny’s cooked you breakfast. And as much shit you talked about Johnny, you were glad he cared enough to make your breakfast once and a while. But it would never change the fact that he was almost never there for you. It would never change the actions his past-self has made.

He made you feel shitty about yourself when you shouldn’t have in the first place. You were always there for him and you had supported his underground boxing from the beginning. Hell, you supported him from the beginning.

You looked at him with dark eyes, as he set the food on plates and walked over to you. Quietly, you thanked him and started eating. You hadn’t been feeling well the past couple of days and he clearly hadn’t been paying enough attention to your more pale appearance or the fact that you hadn’t eaten as much.

It was only the stomach bug so theoretically it should be gone by day three. But it was, what, day five? Six, even? You don’t know. All you know is that you’d been feeling sick and the stupid stomach bug was not ready to go away. You weren’t pregnant, just to put that out there. You sure as hell were not pregnant.

Johnny didn’t seem to notice though. That you’ve been feeling a little off. To be fair, you had still gone back to work so maybe that’s why he didn’t know. But even then, when you’d see him in the afternoon after work, he still wouldn’t say or do anything. He was kind of just there.

So the day continues as it always had been for the past week or so. No acknowledgement, no interaction, no nothing. The apartment was eerily quiet although a nine year couple occupied it.

Until the girls invited you to their shared apartment. You should have just moved in with them when you had the chance. Because you definitely didn’t want to worry your parents and you didn’t want to worry his parents as well. The both of you were just being selfish and taking too much of your pride at this point. The question why you both stayed? Stays unanswered by both you and Johnny.

Johnny had gone to another match. Said something along the lines of ‘don’t wait for me’ or whatever. He also left quite early. Not that you cared. Maybe you did. What if he was with a girl? What’s the point of cheating when you can break up with the partner? It all seemed like unanswered questions that will probably stay unanswered until one of you finally leaves. And soon that might be you.

“Ugh God Y/N he’s such an ass. Literally a walking ick. He thinks he’s so good cuz he has a hot-ass girl by his side but then disregards her once he’s home. What a piece of shit,” complained Minji.

You were used to hearing the same phrases over and over again. But you just looked at your two friends (who were just trying their best to look out for you) with zero emotions in your eyes.

“C’mon Y/N. Let’s get you some meds,” Sowon said. Knowing that you were sick, both girls went out of their way earlier today to get some Ibuprofen or Tylenol or something to help you get over your sickness. Because clearly Johnny didn’t care enough to even notice you were feeling and looking off. What kind of boyfriend was he even?

“Honestly, it’s like you two are roommates at this point. He’s the jock and you don’t give a fuck. It’s just not a good match for a roommate if I'm being honest,” Min continues, fetching you a cup of warm water.

Sowon throws you some clothes to borrow for the night. “I agree with Min. If you two barely even talk anymore, and only, say, exchange mere glances at each other, what’s the point in being boyfriend and girlfriend? And look, I know labels are stupid and all but you guys have been dating since high school. You’re out of your honeymoon phase. In fact you two should be on your honeymoon right now. If I were Johnny I would have proposed a long time ago. What’s stopping you from just ending it?”

You sighed and looked at the two girls that cared for you more than anyone ever had. You were beyond appreciative that you had people like them to talk some sense into you. Even if it took years. They stuck by you and never gave up helping you fight the battles of your relationship.

“And I’m sorry, but we were talking to Ten and Taeil about this the other day because they came over but they don’t want you to stay in the relationship anymore either. And they definitely can’t talk any sense into Johnny’s dumbass head. He still loves you, he says,” Minji laughs then stops, not knowing the truth, so she can’t say anything.

“I’m sorry Y/N. You know that we care about you. But it just doesn’t seem like you and Johnny love each other anymore. Sure, you may, but maybe you just don’t love him in the same way. It’s been a long time and it’s okay to accept that feelings of young love can perish,” she finished her thoughts.

Sowon nodded her head along with what Minji had been talking about as she sat next to your figure on the bed.

“Tell you what. Stay the night and think about your life with Johnny. Or think about anything else if you want. We just want you to know that we’re here for you and we don’t want to see you suffering because of him again. We know you love him but deep down you have to come to your realizations. If you want to keep staying with him, be our guest. But human feelings can only take so much,” she patted your head along with Minji as they exited the room and walked to Sowon’s room. They wanted to give you alone time to think to yourself.

But you knew what you wanted. You really did. You just didn’t know how to comprehend them and put them into action because without Johnny, it would genuinely feel like a part of you was going to go missing. And you don’t know how you would handle that.

Before returning to your thoughts, you got out your phone and texted Johnny, saying that you were staying the night with the girls and you won’t be home until… who knows when, really. There was a good chance he wouldn’t see your text until the morning, but it was better to let him know before he were to call you and start an argument.

It was funny how the only time the two of you really talked was to argue. Not that arguing with Johnny was fun. It was tiring yet fleeting. It happened often yet never at all. It was the same arguments that stayed in your mind, replaying the details and the words.

Maybe this wasn’t the right time. Maybe you and Johnny were really only meant to be together for a short time. Yes you believed you were soulmates but soulmates dissipate sometimes, right?

Maybe you and Johnny were meant to be soulmates for a limited amount of time.

Whatever the reasoning behind it was, you were worn out with days that would drag into the night where Johnny laid coldly next to your body in bed.

Couldn't you tell when I was off?

You never asked me what it was

Surprise. Surprise. You got a text from none other than him. It was almost three in the morning when he decided to text you back.

He said something along the lines of:

‘okay.’

‘why didn’t you tell me before?’

‘is there something wrong?’

Without fully opening the messages you slammed your phone back down on the nightstand to your right and snuggled back into the bed, it was your only sense of security in that moment because clearly Johnny wasn’t going to be.

You were knocked out for who knows how long. You were still a bit sick and honestly, that night's sleep was the best sleep you’d ever had in the past, what, couple years? That was absolutely mind blowing.

But when you finally awoke the next morning. Or, midday-ish, the two girls were preparing a big lunch for you, just to spoil you the way you deserved compared to how you were being treated.

You got out of Minji’s comfortable ass bed and walked to the bathroom to wash your face and brush your teeth. When you walked back into the room, you grabbed your phone and went out into the kitchen where lunch was almost ready.

A few minutes had gone by with you sitting on the island before the girls finally noticed you.

“Oh my God, you scared me! Why didn’t you tell us you were awake?” Gasped Minji, holding her right hand to her chest area. It made you laugh. The first laugh since who knows when.

“Sorry, Min. I just got up. But look what this dude texted me,” you showed them the texts that Johnny sent you earlier that night that you kind of forgot until you grabbed your phone.

“I don’t know, girl. He’s just weird as fuck,” said Sowon who was placing a plate of food in front of you.

“Eat up. We’re gonna go out today, okay? We need to get that man out of your head for a little while. Oh, and leave your phone here. We don’t want any distractions, right?” You nodded to her words and shut down your phone before eating the meal they prepared for your immune system that was slowly coming back to life. What would you do without these two?

—

Shopping. It was your favorite pastime. You didn’t buy much but shopping away all of your stress was something that you did all the time. You just had a better excuse to shop now.

By the time the three of you got home, the sun was starting to set and the streetlights were going on one by one.

You placed the shopping bags onto the couch in the living room and took off your shoes, ready to hop in the shower and relax for the rest of the night. But maybe you could go for a drink or two?

The girls suggested that you shower first. And then watch a movie (or multiple movies) before calling it a night. Yes, you were going to sleep over at their house again. You hadn’t felt this free since….. Honestly, you don’t even know when. Which reminded you that you had to at least tell Johnny that you were spending the night again.

After you showered and changed, you grabbed your phone from the drawer in the nightstand and powered on your phone. As it turned on, notification after notification stacked on your phone. Most of them coming from the infamous Johnny Seo.

‘where the fuck are you?’

‘why are you not answering the phone’

And the like. Not to mention the dozens of phone calls he left. As well as the voice mails left in its place.

You sighed and rubbed your face. You were just starting to feel better.

But before you were able to respond to any of the hundreds of notifications from the man, Minji took your phone from you and called his number.

You could hear him from the tiny speaker. He was pissed off.

“Fucking finally. Where the hell have you been all day? I tried texting and calling and nothing would fucking work,” he sounded annoyed.

“Fuck off Johnny Seo. She was with us. And don’t even think about her coming home tonight. She’s gonna be with us for the next couple of days. Hopefully that’ll get through your thick ass head. But who am I kidding? Not even your closest friends can,” Minji hung up the phone before he even had the chance to retaliate.

She took in the biggest breath and gave you back your phone.

“I’m so sorry. I know I shouldn’t have done that and I know it was shitty of me to snoop and take your phone and call and insult your boyfriend, or whatever he even is anymore, but I can’t stand it! You’ve not been yourself for, like, a week— who am I kidding you haven’t been yourself for years— but that’s not the poi— anyway you’ve been sick for almost a week and that jackass hasn’t even asked to see if you were feeling okay. He hasn’t even noticed. Like c’mon do better!” She rambled. And you genuinely smiled, tears coming to your eyes as you admired how strong Minji was and how good of a friend she was.

Before you, or her, could say anything else you hugged her. As tight as you could. Not wanting anything else at this moment but to be away from all of your feelings and all of your problems.

When Sowon came into the room, because the rest of the house was empty, she saw the two of you still hugging with tears running down your face.

“What did I just miss?” The two of you let go and laughed at her words. Soon, you explained the whole situation to her.

“Serves him right. Goddamn Min, you’re so good at shit like this.”

I kind of hope you feel the same way

So that I'm not the only one

Who thinks we've run it dry?

Everything was a lie. A good lie. At least for you.

Minji and Sowon had convinced you to stay at their house at best for the following week or so. You’d gotten over the stupid stomach bug thanks to them and since you’d been practically avoiding Johnny Seo the entire time, it felt like they finally had their best friend back. And they were happy you weren’t fretting over the tragic fallout of what had become your relationship.

They dealt with Johnny with the help of Ten, Taeil, and Taeyong. The triple T’s always had the backs of their friends. Especially when one of them was acting like an asshat. You were just glad that they weren’t going to be douchebag guys like their friend and insisted on helping you instead. Helping you be free and helping you come to realizations of how you truly felt.

It was almost time for you to go home, if that’s what you would even call it anymore. Home as in, Johnny’s home. Yet you had never truly felt as secure as a home should be when it came to him. Sometimes people will describe home as a person, and for you, those people were your friends.

After six days of staying at your friend's house, it was finally time for you to leave and tell the person, whom you once loved more than life, that it was time to separate and grow on your own. And hopefully he would be able to understand that and respect your decision. Once again, he stopped contacting you. It was the third day of you staying at Minji and Sowon’s place and you guessed that Johnny had enough of your friends picking up your phone calls, so he stopped contacting you as a whole. Were you surprised? Not really. But that didn’t mean that leaving wouldn’t be hard for you. Maybe even for him. But who knows.

You would have thought that by now Johnny would have also been tired. It didn’t seem like he wanted to be in the same relationship either. But it was just weird why he stayed. It was harder for you to come to your senses, because you loved him so much– you still do– but things have just changed and you both have drastically changed as people. For the better or for the worse. So the best thing was to just end things while you can because if you were to stay, the both of you would suffer and do things that were unforgivable to mankind.

The rest of the day was an indoor pamper kind of day with your two friends. It was quite rainy and stormy outside so the best option was to stay inside. You enjoyed the ambiance of rain but you could appreciate it while watching a movie or baking cookies. Which was exactly what the three of you did the entire day.

When you first woke up, more on the later side, you decided to make a little brunch-y meal for your two friends, a sort of way to thank them for everything that they had done for you the past week. Slowly you woke them up with a breakfast in bed type of vibe as they sleepily ate the food you served to them. And when they finally got out of bed and got ready for the day, the rain started pouring down heavier than ever and the sound of thunder escaped from the sky. So it was best for a girls day in.

The first plan was to clean the place up a bit. It had been messy ever since you got to their house but obviously they wouldn’t blame you because one– you were their friend, and two– because you had been suffering from the wrath of a man who has no control over his emotions.

They let you sit down and rest while they cleaned their house up a bit more. And as you were sitting on Minji’s bed with the covers thrown over you and a large plushie in your hands, there was only one foute that your mind could go to during a time like this.

You groaned to yourself and fell back on the bed, pissed off because you couldn’t get a certain someone out of your head but also frustrated on how you were going to do things and how you were going to deal with the aftermath of things. It’s been so long since you two have been together and that in of itself makes it hard to come up with a solution to the problem.

But maybe Johnny feels the same way? And he doesn’t have any clue on how to break it to you? You really hoped this would be the case because maybe then some things would be easier to break. Nothing’s been the same since you first started dating. You had both grown up into the person you were today– albeit not the best person you could be– and so maybe closing this huge chapter in your lives, romantically, was ultimately for the best.

Yes you were going to do it.

Because clearly the man you onced loved didn’t love you the same way he did back in your senior year of high school and you really needed to get that part of your life out of your brain. You graduated from the alma mater years ago, and finally it was ready to let go of someone you held so close from your past. Well, no more.

But still we've stayed a long time

I'm sorry if I make you cry tonight

After watching the Twilight Saga and having that as your movie marathon, the two girls who you cherished copiously were fast asleep on the couch with a bit of food stains around their lips and on their pajamas. Watching the scene made you laugh at them and you decided to just let them rest on this drizzly day. You shut off the TV and pulled the covers on their bodies so they would stay warm (even though Sowon sometimes gets too hot in her sleep.)

You walked back into Minji’s room, she let you stay there your entire stay and it was the best thing you could ever ask for. Carefully, you grabbed your phone (which still had zero notifications from you know who) from the nightstand again and immediately opened the notes app. Writing things out always seemed to help you get out your emotions especially in times like this where you were able to plan what you were going to say and how you were going to say it.

And so, whilst you laid in the comfort of Minji’s bed, with the house calmingly quiet with the added sound of the pitter-patter of the raindrops hitting the window, you started typing away.

‘This is a horrible way to start but I think having a talk about what we’ve become is the best thing that we can do right now. And if we’re not willing to fix the broken relationship we turned out to have then the least we can do is talk it out and decide from there. First and foremost, I love you. I will always love you. You’ve been there for me ever since we first met back in high school to the day you asked me out on an official date before our senior year. You helped me with my new apartment and supported my passion for photography when no one else did. I want to truly thank you for everything that you have done simply because you were trying and you cared. Although now, I’m not sure if I feel the care that you once held for me. You’ve been distant, I hope you know that. And truly, it deteriorates every part of my body that our communication is not what it used to be. You either avoid talking to me at all costs or bombard my phone with phone calls and voicemails. And I’m just tired, Youngho. I hope you understand where I’m coming from because I think you and I both feel the same about what this has become. Sometimes it’s okay to let go of your feelings and here I am to let go of them first since you clearly weren’t going to be the one to. We simply just aren’t fit for each other anymore. Everything that we do and say to each other feels like a chore and I know you too damn well to see that you have been feeling the same way. Clearly we both need to work on our communications skills and you, specifically, need to know how to treat a person right, especially if you’ve been with that same person for almost a decade. I don’t want to hurt you with my words nor my actions because you know I’m more mature than that. But what I want you to realize is how dragging this whole situation is and has been. My intentions aren’t to get you upset and I hope you know that. You will always be my first love and as much as it hurts to come to the realization that we shouldn’t be together anymore it is the cold hearted truth. You’ve been either absent or present and every minute we spent together for the past couple of years has been hard on me. Do you know how much you have hurt me? And I stood there and always came back because to me, you were the home I would always come back to. But you’re not anymore and it’s not okay but it will be whenever we have the chance to have this conversation. Old habits die hard and it’s time for us to come to an end and close the chapter in our lives that have been too toxic for the both of us. I’ve grown to love everything about you over the past nine years that we dated and it hurts too much to say these words but please, I’m begging you, get my thoughts through your head and comprehend them diligently. I don’t want to suffer anymore and I’m sure you don’t want to suffer either. This isn’t fair for the both of us to stay trapped with each other. And just because we’ve been together for nine years doesn’t mean we have to stay together. There are so many instances where people are just not meant to be together anymore and it’s taken me a long time to recognize that. I know you know me well, but do you really? We haven’t been ourselves to each other recently and it's tearing down everything that I have in my body. I was sick the other day. Did you know that? I don’t quite know what it was but I was sick for almost a week. It was most likely the stomach bug but you still didn’t know me enough to ask me what was wrong.You didn’t even notice. And that’s when I realized that something was wrong with the two of us. My thoughts have clearly spoken to me from the time we have been apart this week and I’m ready to finalize my decision on our relationship. Hopefully you do too. I don’t mean to make this message this long and honestly I don’t even know if you’ll ever even get to read this message but writing it out and keeping it away makes me feel much better about the situation at hand and helps me come together with piecing my thoughts and opinions and facts. I really hope you understand why I’m doing this because I can’t live like this anymore. I just want you to know that before it’s too late and we’ll be stuck like this forever. That’d be selfish of me. I love you dearly, and I will always be thankful that you were my first love. You taught me things both negative and positive that I can bring in my next relationship, if I ever have another one. Much love, Y/N.’

Holy fuck that was one hell of a ride. Most of it probably didn’t make any sense but you felt a sense of relief wash over you as you wrote down everything you wanted and had to say to the man that once stole your heart and kept it as his own.

You sighed and placed your phone down on the bed. You sat up from where you were previously laying down and looked around the room. You had no idea how much time had passed and frankly you didn’t really care. It just felt good to write out your emotions. Although, it did get quite dark from when you first remembered. But the cozy house was still as quiet as ever. The rain had stopped and the thunder soon went away. Then you decided to do the next best thing.

You were ready to get over a life you’ve miserably lived for the past two years.

You quietly exited their house and drove all the way back to Johnny’s apartment. Hopefully for the last time.

‘Cause I've packed my bags in the middle of the night

It was almost eleven p.m. when you arrived at Johnny’s apartment complex. You didn’t know if he was home or not but this was the best thing you could impulsively think of. However, his apartment was eerily quiet as you walked through the halls you wish you called home. When stumbling upon your– his– bedroom he was nowhere to be seen. He was probably getting ready to fight at the ring tonight. You didn;t know, but you were thankful he wasn’t home when you decided to spontaneously come over. But you were sure of your feelings and you were sure that doing what you were about to do was the best thing.

You didn’t have many personal belongings in his home. The only things that belonged to you were your clothes, shoes, makeup, skincare, and other small knick knacks or materialistic items. But you just grabbed a suitcase or two and got ready for packing your stuff and leaving his apartment which made you feel incredibly caged into something.

You tried packing all of your clothes as fast as you could, unaware of the arrival time of your now ex-lover. As you were folding your clothes as quickly as you could, the picture frame on top of the dresser had caught your eye. It was a picture of the two of you at prom And as you looked around the room again, he had another picture of you sitting prettily in a picture frame on his nightstand. Looking at all of the memories made you want to throw up and cry at the same time. You could feel yourself grow nauseous by the minute. But you packed everything you could and gained your composure and you were officially out of his life. Physically.

And it was only a matter of time until you would have to break the news to him and tell him how you feel. And if he doesn’t want a break then you will continue to fight for your own sanity and you will never take no for an answer.

A thousand times, I got up to say goodbye

I could be wrong, but I think that I'm for real this time

Once you were done packing all of the necessities that you thought you would need, you stood by at the front door to take in what had come of your life.

You took in a big breath and turned your head to the home you never actually had the chance to call home. From the living room couch to the kitchen island everything felt foreign. But not anymore.

And then you realized what you needed to finally do.

The luggages sat in front of the doorway as you made your way to the makeshift office in his apartment. And as quickly as you could, you scavenged for a piece of paper and a pencil or a pen or whatever. It didn’t matter what writing utensil you used because you wanted him to know the truth. So you sat on the desk and took out the piece of paper and the writing utensil in your hand and began writing away.

You knew you wrote in the notes app on your phone, prior, but a handwritten note would have been better for him to wake up to and truthfully, you didn’t know if you could send him a text. A simple note with a goodbye was the best that you could do for now.

Sentence and after sentence filled up the page easily when you had so much to say about your relationship and what it had inevitably come to (it was similar to the note you typed on your phone.) You didn’t know how legible your handwriting was but you tried your best to make it clear and cohesive while trying to quickly write as much as you had to say as possible before he was to come home. If he was even going to make it home that night.

And without much thought, and without rereading what you had to say, you folded up the piece of paper you wrote on, folded it in half, and placed it on his side of the bed which was now just the entirety of his bed.

There were so many opportunities where you had the chance to leave. But emotions don’t work like that, unfortunately, and Johnny was such a significant part of your life. But finally, you were ready to let go of those memories you held so deeply in your heart. You had finally had the chance to do what you had to do and a piece of your heart had finally decided to move on.

You stood at the doorway of the bedroom and looked around once more; with another sigh, and without another thought, you shut the door like you were shutting this chapter of your life.

I've taken down all the pictures in my room

I've hidden things that reminded me of you

Your friends helped you unpack your bags the following morning, after you told them the entire story and they questioned how much of a deep sleep they were both in. But they were immensely proud of what you had done and that you had finally done it.

That all called for a cheer with Taeyong, Taeil, and Ten.

“I’m so proud of you! You deserve the big break. And honestly, Johnny did too,” started Taeil.

“Yeah. As much as he never said it, these emotions started popping up in Johnny and we all knew he wasn’t feeling the same way he did ten years ago,” continued Ten.

“I’m so happy for you,” Taeyong pouted, “You deserve this and so much more. I’m so happy you’re happier now!”

The three boys hyped you up as you downed another shot in a sort of congratulations moment. You couldn’t believe you did it either, you didn’t know you had the guts to do it. But everything was finally over and now you didn’t have to constantly worry about your partner or worry about the vulnerabilities that came with it.

You honestly were so much happier.

—

When Sowon and Minji finally convinced you to officially move in with them everyone came to celebrate. Everyone, as in the two girls, Ten, Taeyong, and Taeil.

As you completely unpacked all of your belongings, you noticed the sweater that was not actually yours. You must have grabbed it in the heat of the moment when you were crushing things into the luggage. You sighed and picked it up from the pile on the bed. It was for sure Johnny’s sweater.

You smiled bitter sweetly and placed it back down on the bed. The smell of him reminisces in your mind. The faint Atelier Cologne is somehow still stuck onto the fibers of the sweater.

Which made you remember the polaroid picture on the back of your phone case. It was from your senior year when Johnny planned the whole buffet showdown. You carefully took the aged polaroid picture out of your phone case and observed how young the two of you looked. It was beautiful. More than beautiful. And the memories you shared were beyond anything you could have ever asked for. So how could it come to this?

You took both the sweater and the picture and put them in an empty shoe box you grabbed from the apartment strip. You carefully folded the sweater to fit in the box and perfectly placed the picture on top. Everything that made up your life was now officially stored away to a place you’d forgive but never forget.

Know I won't come back this time

Tears came out of you that night. The shock and the aftermath somehow caught you at that moment. After the realization of what you had done punched you in the face, you’d soon come to peace with it.

The girls heard you crying through the walls that night. Happy that you were finally free of the cellars of Johnny Seo’s manipulation tactics, but terribly dejected at the thought of you suppressing your emotions after gaining a break after nine years.

You didn’t sleep much that night. You just hid under the covers and tried to conceal as much sobbing as you could. Which was ultimately a failure since your friends asked if you were okay the following morning.

“Everything good, love?” Asked Sowon, munching on her cereal.

“You didn’t sound so hot last night,” added Minji before she whined when Sowon hit her shoulder.

You laughed and slightly sniffled, the puffiness around your eyes showcased what you were doing the night before, “I’m okay. Don’t worry about me.”

“You can be honest, you know. We know you’re lying. But, of course, if right now isn’t a good time to tell us, then we’ll be open whenever you are,” Sowon patted your hair and Minji hugged your side. What would you do without them?

“I’m happier. I mean, me crying is the result of losing a loved one after nine years. Crying is inevitable after a breakup, especially one that long. I was just crying all of my emotions out. Not necessarily sad ones, but now I just kinda feel lost and empty without having that one person by my side, you know. It might take me a while to get back on my feet, but I think Johnny helped me to do that,” you explained.

The two girls pouted and Minji held you tighter, rubbing your back.

“As much as we want to know how a breakup like that feels, we know how you feel. And you’re right. Everything that happened was inevitable. The two of you might have been a perfect match in the beginning but time passes and people change and you can’t change that. Johnny was a huge part of your life, we know. But part of moving on is realizing why you had to,” Sowon sympathized.

“I know. But I’m glad all of it is finally over. I still may not be completely over it, but I will be. And I'm not going back this time.”

56 notes · View notes

bitchenderyy · 3 years

Note

could you do a fic where one of the members are jealous or possessive (more than one fic is gratefully appreciated) and thank you for helping us czennies find stories!!

jaehyun

just friends by @nakamotonudes

hendery

figures by @tyongxnct

jaemin

he takes what he wants by @i-stan-nct-and-satan

when i think of possessiveness, i think of yandere so i hope that’s okay! the hendery fic “figures” isn’t explicitly possessive or jealous but he’s very toxic and shows so many of these traits in his behaviour. i hope you enjoy these fics bcs i certainly have! 💗

looking for a fic to read but can’t find anything? send me an ask for a recommendation!

*i do not read fics for sungchan, chenle or jisung therefore i cannot recommend fics for those members

#jaehyun smut #jaehyun angst #jaehyun imagines #jaemin smut #jaemin angst #jaemin imagines #hendery smut #hendery angst #hendery imagines #nct imagines #hendery wayv #nct fic recs #bitchenderyy talks

99 notes · View notes

tyongxnct · 3 years

Text

𝗦𝗧𝗥𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦 - 𝗠𝗮𝗿𝗸 𝗟𝗲𝗲

pairing: musicteacher!Mark x rich!reader, musicmajor!Mark x musicmajor!reader

special guests: Jeno & Renjun

summary: Mark’s biggest dream is to become a musician. He’d do anything to make his dream reality. That includes using you, the principal's daughter. University starts soon and Mark’s only chance to attend his dream university is you. Making you fall in love with him is easier than he thought, what he didn’t expect was that he’d also fall in love with you.

genre: strangers-to-lovers!au, angst, smut, fluff

warnings: smut, alcohol consumption, swearing, (sorry if i missed anything)

wc: 14k

NOTE: ENJOY THE FIRST PART OF MY SERIES, i hope you like it!! I’m so excited to write and post the other parts, i’m sorry if there are any mistakes i’m so sleepy lmao. i love you guys, thank you.

taglist: @chitaphrrrr @keemburley @imgettinlocoloco @jenoxygen @sunflowerhae @mirathe2002 @suhreal @pinkynana @jaehyunoos @anvyn @nycol-ie @queenrachelpink @yangyangsberet @jccv @flower-lise @luvlyjaemin @sunshine-skz @donutswithjaminthemiddle @jeneyesmile @yoongischeeksluv @jaeminhyuckiii @lunakua @lilzmeowmeow @jenosdaemi @cosmiclatte28 @aesthetichrj @bitchenderyy

this is fiction!

Mark Lee is a dreamer.

Since he was little, his biggest dream was to become a musician. With the lyrics he wrote, his guitar in his hands and a stage he was standing on. He imagined himself on the stage, thousands of people watching him and singing along with his self-written lyrics.

Mark loved writing down his thoughts and emotions, no matter when and what he felt. When he was showering, he summed along the melody he had in his head and before he could forget it, he got out of the shower, recorded his voice with his phone and then he finished showering.

Mark loved making music, it was always his dream, but his parents didn’t support his dream. His parents told him that there was no future for artists, he wouldn’t make any money with his guitar. Music is not a stable job, it’s a hobby.

Mark fought against his parents, he tried everything he could do to change their minds, to show them how much it means to him, but in the end, he moved out and decided to go to NEO CITY UNIVERSITY OF ART, Mark’s dream University. Mark wanted to study music and nobody could stop him. He listened to his heart and even though he left his parents to follow his dreams, he knew that he could make it.

There was just one big problem, Mark has no home, almost no money and no job. He moved out and slept at his friend’s house for a couple days until he finally found a job near the campus of neo city university of art. He started working at the café and met Jeno, who was also working there.

Jeno got accepted in the acting department, his biggest dream and luck was on Mark’s side because Jeno and his roommate Renjun, who was also going to NCUA to study art, were looking for a roommate and they were living 10 minutes from school.

Mark knew he was getting closer to his dream, but there was still a big problem, Mark didn’t get accepted to NCSA. His world crashed down as he read the email, but luck was again on his side. He was preparing a smoothie as he heard you and your friend talk.

“My dad wants me to get more private lessons because apparently, I'm not as good as his students. ‘It’s a scandal, the daughter of the famous principal and great-granddaughter of the founder of NEO CITY UNIVERSITY OF ART can’t play the piano and struggles with the guitar.’, as my mother would say.” you say with a mocking tone. The tone your mother always uses when she scolds you.

Yes, you are the daughter of known artists but that doesn’t mean that you have to be as talented as them.

It’s not like you don’t like playing instruments, it was just a little bit too hard to play so many instruments. You always preferred to sing, you actually just wanted to focus on your voice and the emotions you wanted to portray.

“Just say yes to any teacher, you always say no, just get over with it.” you friend says as she pets your hair.

“But they’re always too old or too young. I don’t want an old grumpy man to teach me how to play the piano and I don’t want a little girl to hold a guitar as big as her and teach me how to play it.”

Mark smiled to himself as he felt like he hit the jackpot. You didn’t notice him listening to your conversation, but Mark could kiss you then and there because you just gave him the perfect opportunity.

“So, Mark Lee, right?”

"Yes, sir.”

Mark was absolutely nervous. He was sitting right in front of Principial y/l/n.

Your dad looked through Marks CV, it was hard to describe the look on his face and that scared Mark. Mark just went to an ordinary high school and has worked a couple part time jobs, he was nothing special, well at least he thought that he was nothing special.

“So, you can play the guitar, piano... rapping, that’s interesting.” he says, “You also write lyrics?” he looks up at Mark.

“Y-Yes, sir. I started writing when I was a little kid and I still do. I like to write down my thoughts.” Mark tells and tried not to stutter.

“So, Mark, your application is interesting and-”

“Dad! I’m home!” you suddenly entered your dad’s office.

Your eyes met Mark’s the second you entered and Mark hoped that you wouldn’t recognize him.

“Oh, sorry I didn’t know you had a guest.” you said shyly.

“Your timing is actually perfect. Meet your new teacher. Mark Lee, Mark, this is my daughter y/n.”

Mark stood up and held his hand out and you shook it softly.

“It’s nice to meet you.” you said with a small smile.

“It’s nice to meet you too.” Mark smiled back, “W-Wait does that mean I get the job?”

You giggled at his reaction, “Yes, Mr Lee, you got the job.” you dad says as he reaches his hand out to shake Mark’s and Mark just noticed that he was still holding your hand.

----

Mark entered the apartment with a big fat smile on his face.

“Why are you smiling like that?” Renjun asked with a bag of chips in his hands as he looked up from the tv in the living room.

“I have great news. Is Jeno home?” Mark took off his jacket as he sat down next to Renjun and hugged him tightly.

“Okay, that’s enough.” Renjun pushed Mark away and as soon as Jeno left his room, Mark stood up and hugged him.

“You guys, I have BIG news.”

“Spit it out already!” Renjun said as his curiosity grew.

“So, I was working at the café yesterday, right? So, I hear this girl and her friend, she was complaining that her dad wants her to have private guitar and piano lessons.”

“So?” Jeno and Renjun asked at the same time.

“So, guess who’s the new music teacher of NEO CITY UNIVERSITY OF ARTS’ principal's daughter, y/n y/l/n?”

“No fucking way!”

“You are kidding right?!”

“Do you guys know what that means?”

They looked at him curiously.

“If I get close to her and her dad, I have a bigger chance to attend NCUA and I bet he knows so many producers and with all of his connections I could have a chance to record an album. Fuck, this is the perfect opportunity.” Mark said with a big grin on his face.

“Don’t you think that’s a little, I don’t know, mean to use her like that?” Renjun asked and Jeno nodded.

“I-I’m not using her, well, maybe I am, but it’s a win-win situation. I’ll teach her to play the guitar and the piano and maybe I'll get the chance to fulfill my dreams.” Mark defends himself, he didn’t think about any consequences, he was just too happy to care.

“And also, the payment is amazing. As soon as I get my first paycheck we’ll go and celebrate!”

“Don’t do anything you might regret.” Jeno warns him.

“Calm down, guys. Just trust me on this.”

“You have two months, Mark. Two months until the first semester starts.” Renjun reminds him.

“Don’t worry about that, I’ll wrap her around my finger before those two months end.”

Lesson 1 – week 1

Mark entered the big house you lived in and he was greeted by a maid who welcomed him in. He was still amazed, your house was big, neat and really minimalistic.

“Ms y/n is in the music room waiting for you, sir. Please follow me.”

“Please call me Mark.” he said. It felt wrong to be called sir by a woman much older than him.

Mark entered the bis music room, which was much bigger than a simple room, with wide eyes. There was a big, white piano, on the wall were awards and paintings and then his eyes met yours.

“Hey.” you said as you stood up from your seat.

“Hey, Ms y/l/n.”

“Oh, please just call me y/n. I read your application; we are the same age.”

The maid closed the door and left you two alone, leaving you standing there awkwardly.

“Uhm, you can sit down if you want to.” you said as you pointed next to you.

“Oh, uhm yeah right. Thanks.”

Mark tried so hard not to fuck this up.

“So, I think we should get to know each other first, what do you think?” he said as he sat down on the other side of the couch, leaving space between you.

“Sure, I guess that’s a good idea.”

“Sooo, tell me about yourself.” Mark softly smiled at you.

“Well, there’s not much to tell. I like watching movies and I like music, but I'm not that good with instruments. Uhm, I don’t have any siblings... I love fries and ice cream with lemon flavor-” you stopped talking as you noticed that you were non-stop talking. You were kind of nervous as he looked at you with his brown eyes and listened to you. “Sorry, I talk too much.”

“No, no. Don’t worry. What’s your favorite movie?”

“I don’t really have a favorite movie. There are so many different genres and it’s so hard to choose. I like twilight, but I also like all of the marvel movies, I'm a sucker for romance but I also love mindfuck movies-”

You stopped talking again.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know when to stop. I love talking about movies, I could talk about them for hours. Maybe you should tell me more about yourself.”

As someone who doesn’t have many friends, you wanted to find new friends and Mark seemed nice, so you wanted to become friends with him. It’s not like you never talked to people your age, it’s just that nobody really wanted to be your friend. The daughter of famous musicians, everyone thought that you were a bitch who loved daddy’s money. Which you weren’t.

“You don’t have to apologize. I also like to talk about movies. Anyways, I love music, I love writing lyrics and I love my guitar,” he pointed at the case he bought with him, “I have two roommates and that’s basically it.”

“You don’t live with your family?” you asked curiously.

“Nope. I, uhm, wanted to move out and yeah.” he said, not explaining further why he exactly moved out.

“That’s so cool! I wanted to move out, too. I love my parents, don’t get me wrong, but I feel like I don’t have any privacy or freedom. I’m almost 19 and I still have a curfew!” you say as you look out of the window.

“That’s cute.” Mark laughs.

“It’s not cute, it’s embarrassing.”

There was a silence for a couple of seconds until Mark cleared his throat and started talking again. “So, maybe we should start. Which one do you like the most? Guitar or piano?”

“I think I like the piano and I feel like I'm not as bad as I'm with the guitar, so maybe we could start with guitar lessons?” you suggest.

“Don’t say you’re bad at it. I bet you’re actually great.” Mark took his guitar out of its case and started to explain you the basics of a guitar.

“You have to pull the strings gently, don’t pull to hard.”

After explaining you the basics, he showed you how to tune your guitar.

“Like this?” you do as he says.

“Exactly. As if you’re holding a baby and you’re softly stroking his cheeks.”

You giggled softly, the metaphor Mark used was too random but kinda cute.

Lesson 4 - week 2

That’s how your first lesson went. Mark would come and teach you three days a week and with a blink of an eye, it’s been a week since your first lesson. Today was your fourth lesson and you felt yourself become more comfortable around Mark. You weren’t that shy and nervous anymore, it felt like you knew Mark since forever. It was fun to talk to him about everything and anything.

“Like this?” you asked him again, just to tease him.

“Y/n! Are you a rockstar? You can’t pull the strings like that! Poor baby, I'm sorry. She didn’t mean to hurt you.” he told his guitar.

“Mark you’re so cute!” before you could realize, you called him cute and you could see him blushing and your eyes widened.

“I-I m-mean, not cute, but like yeah, uhm f-funny cute?” you tried to save yourself.

“So, you think I'm cute?” he looked at you with a smirk.

“Shut up.”

“Well, I’m a lady's men, what can I say.” he sighs with a smile.

“Yeah yeah,” you agree sarcastically, “So, do you want some pizza?” you change the topic.

“Who says no to pizza?”

Almost an hour later, your pizzas arrived. You thanked the delivery man and slowly went back to the music room.

“My parents would kill me if they saw me eating in their holy room.” you say and take a bite of your pizza. But your parents wouldn’t be home until midnight, so you used the opportunity.

“We can go to the pizza place next time; I don’t want to risk anything.” Mark says as he watched you take a bite.

“Yummy?” he asks.

You nod with a smile, “Wanna have a taste?”

Mark stares at you, for a split second he thought of something dirty, but he didn’t want to scare you away, so he just nodded and took a bite off the pizza in your hand.

Suddenly his face was much closer to yours and you could feel your breathing go faster.

“Wanna take a bite of mine, too?”

The only thing you could do was to nod.

You took a bite of his pizza and kept eating silently. The closeness to Mark sends shivers down your spine. It felt so weird, something you never felt before.

Lesson 7 – week 3

Maybe you should’ve tied your hair.

But it was too late now. You were looking down to the guitar as your view got blocked by your hair.

Mark reached out, using the opportunity to put your hair behind you ear. His hand softly brushed your cheek and when you looked up to him, meeting his eyes, you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling.

Mark pulled back as soon as he heard the knock on the door.

Your parents entered and Mark’s heart almost dropped. It was Mark’s first time meeting your mother and you looked exactly like her. She was really pretty, just like you.

“I hope we’re not interrupting.” your dad says as he greets you two.

Mark stood up and bowed nevously.

“No, not at all, sir.”

“So, you are Mark, it’s nice to finally meet you. I hope my daughter isn’t giving you any trouble.” your mother says with a smile.

“Mom...” you mumble.

“No, it’s great to work with her. She’s really good and she learns fast.” Mark said honestly.

“That’s good. You don’t have much time left, y/n.” you dad reminds you that school starts soon.

“Yes, I know dad.”

“Do you want to stay for dinner, Mark?” your mother asks.

Mark celebrated in his head.

“I wouldn’t want to inconvenience you.” he says but he hopes that she’ll ask again.

“Of course not, come on, you must be hungry.” your mother smiles softly.

You found yourself sitting in front of Mark at your dining table.

“So, Mark. Tell us about yourself.” your mother says as she takes a small bite of her steak.

“Well, there’s not much to say. Music is my passion and I love writing lyrics. Uhm, I have two roommates and that’s basically it.” Mark tells your parents.

“And you parents?” your dad asks and your mom kicks him under the table, “What?”

“It’s alright,” Mark smiles, “I’m currently not in contact with my parents. We weren’t on the same page about my future.”

You look at him with a sad look on your face, you felt sorry and you wished you could help him.

“What are your plans for the future?” he asks.

“I want to make music. I want to produce my own album and write my own lyrics and perform them on a stage.”

You could see the way Mark’s eyes sparkled as he talked about his dream.

“As a dad myself, I can tell you that your parents just want the best for you, it’ll take them a while to fully understand what your dreams are, but they love you. I can see that you’re really serious about it.”

Mark smiled at his words, he was right, Mark knew that his parents wanted the best for him, but it still hurt him when his parents didn’t even consider supporting him.

“Thank you for the food, Mr & Mrs y/l/n. Have a good night.”

You walked Mark to the door and finally felt like you could talk to him properly.

“I’m sorry about your parents.”

“It’s alright. You don’t have to be sorry. It is what it is.” he smiles at you.

You leaned against the door and play with your fingers. “I hope dinner wasn’t too awkward. My dad doesn’t know when to shut up- wait, now I know who I got that from.”

You and Mark started to laugh, “Well you have your beauty from your mother and how many times do I have to tell you that I like listening to you?”

You felt your cheeks heat up and your eyes widen.

“U-Uh-” you stutter, not able to find the right words.

“I’ll see you on Wednesday, y/n.”

Mark smirked at you as he saw what his words did to you, he didn’t lie. You are beautiful, but he caught you off guard and left you standing there with a crazily beating heart.

Lesson 12 – week 4

“Y/n?” Mark asks after a while of studying notes and trying to play the guitar.

“Yeah?”

“Do you want to out with me tomorrow night?”

Suddenly a loud guitar sounds startles Mark.

“G-Go out with you?” You look at Mark with wide eyes.

Mark simply nods, “Yeah, my roommates are throwing a party and I thought you’d like to go. With me. You’ve been studying so much and I thought we could do something- different.”

“Y-Yeah, I'd love to go with you. When does it start?”

“I’ll pick you up at 10.”

“Fuck, hold on.” you say as you remind yourself about your parents and your curfew.

“My parents, they won’t allow me to go to a party that late- hold on!” you rush to your phone and call your best friend.

Mark chuckled, it looked cute how excited you got.

“Okay, I love you, lifesaver. Have fun with him!”

You plopped down next to Mark on the couch. “I’ll tell my parents I'll sleep over at my best friends place.”

“You little bad girl, but I don’t want you to lie to your parents.”

“It’s alright, it’s not the first time I used that lie, you know, I’m not that good girl everyone thinks I am.”

“Oh, no. I think you are a good girl.”

Next day

“Your mother and I are going out for dinner. Have fun, call us if you want us to pick you up.” you dad says.

“Dad, I'm not 12 anymore.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know. Love you.”

“Love you, y/n. But still, if anything happens just give us a call.” your mom also tells you.

“Love you guys too!”

It took you almost two hours to get ready. You weren’t sure what to wear. A dress? A skirt? A simple jean?

After changing your outfit five times, you were ready. A simple red summer dress, which hugged your curves, with thin straps and with white daisies on it which reached the middle of your thighs. You straightened your hair and put some make up on, but not too much, and just simple white sneakers.

The knock on your door reminded you that you had to go. With a little bit of lip-gloss, you were done.

“I’m coming!”

You opened the door and you left Mark speechless.

“Mark? Hello?”

“What? Oh yeah right, you look stunning.”

You felt your cheeks heat up, “Thank you Mark. You look really handsome.”

“Thanks.” he said with a smirk, looking you up and down and forgetting why he was there in the first place.

“Mark? Shouldn’t we go?”

“Yeah, yeah, sorry. You’re right.”

You found yourself at your first house party. Mark held your hand tightly as he entered his apartment. There were so many people already and most of them already drunk.

“Do you want something to drink, y/n?” he asks, raising his voice a little since the music was so loud.

“Sure.”

Mark handed you something that looked like beer, you took a sip and realized that it wasn’t beer. “Mark is that apple juice?”

“Yeah, does it taste bad?” he asked as he took a big sip of his alcoholic drink.

“I want alcohol, too.” you tell him as you hand him your cup back.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, Mark. Actually, it’s not my first-time drinking.”

“Wow, maybe you are a bad girl.”

“It’s nothing crazy though. My best friend and I were home alone and we drank some beer, that’s basically it. It tasted like shit.”

“Then I'll give you something else.” Mark gives you a cup with some vodka and coke.

You take a sip, “This definitely tastes better than beer.”

You walked around with Mark by your side and you felt butterflies in your belly as he took your hand and pulled you close to him.

“Who is that pretty lady next to you Markie?” Jeno and Renjun knew exactly who you are, but they promised Mark to play along.

You smiled shyly and introduced yourself.

“Y/n, these two idiots are my roommates, Jeno and Renjun-”

“Y/n do you want to play beer pong with us?” Renjun interrupted Mark.

You look at Mark and then back at Renjun, “I’ve never played it before, but sure.”

You found yourself in the same team as Mark and Jeno and Renjun as your opponent.

“Ladies first.” Jeno said and you threw the ball and luckily, it went inside the cup.

“Seems like you’re not as bad as you thought.” Mark says after giving you a high five.

A couple rounds and two cups later, you felt a little tipsy and you became more open and your shyness was gone.

“Did you see that Markie!” you yell excited and wrap your arms around him after throwing the last ball and winning beer pong.

Mark’s eyes widened and Jeno’s and Renjun’s too. They looked at each other and Mark slowly put his hand on your lower back.

“Yeah, I saw that. Good job. Let’s go outside for some fresh air.”

You nodded and took his hand with a big smile on your face. You excused yourself from Jeno and Renjun and made your way to the little balcony, which was weirdly not occupied.

“Your friends are funny.” you say and take a deep breath.

You leaned against the railing and Mark was right next to you.

“I can’t remember the last time I felt this free. Thank you for inviting me, Mark.” you looked at the stars in the sky and the moon was shining brightly on your face.

Mark couldn’t take his eyes off of you. He was mesmerized by your beauty.

“I’m glad you’re having fun.” he whispered softly and you turn your face to him and you meet his eyes.

Suddenly you heard one of your all-time favorite songs coming from the party and you pulled Mark inside. “I love that song! We have to dance!” and you found yourself dancing with Mark’s body pressed against yours.

Mark’s hand travelled to your waist as he pulled you even close, he didn’t want anyone else to be close to you, it was just you and him and you were absolutely happy.

A couple hours later, you were dead tired from dancing and standing, there were still so many people partying, but for your first time, that was enough for the night.

“I guess, it’s time to go.” you said as you took one last sip of your coke. You stopped drinking after beer pong and you weren’t even tipsy anymore.

“What? What do you mean time to go? I thought you told your parents you wouldn’t be home?” Mark asked.

“I’m not going home, I'm going over to my best friend's house-”

“No, no. It’s almost four in the morning, just stay here the night. If you’re okay with that.”

You look at Mark and simply nod. You feel safe with Mark.

“Okay. Let’s go.” he takes your hand again and softly pulls you to his room, closing the door afterwards.

He looks through his closet and finds a shirt and shorts for you, but when he turns arouns and sees you standing there so beautifully, he couldn’t stop himself.

Mark dropped the clothes in his hand and walked up to you. His room was dark, just his bedside table light was on.

You looked up to him, you were a little confused, but as soon as you felt his hand on your cheek, you just wanted to kiss him.

“You’re so beautiful.” he whisperes softly and with his thumb, he grazes your lower lip. Mark’s eyes were on your lips but now he’s looking right through your soul.

You closed your eyes, hoping he’d kiss you. You felt his breath against you lips and finally, he pressed his lips against yours.

Mark kissed you slowly, and you didn’t know how to response, this was your first kiss after all. With his two hands, he cupped each of your cheeks and deepened the kiss.

You kissed him back, hoping you were doing the right things, and when you felt his tongue against you lips, you opened your mouth and let him enter. Mark’s tongue played with yours and you couldn’t hold a moan back.

His left hand was on your waist, pulling you closer and you wrapped your arms around his neck. You didn’t want him to pull away and your legs felt like jelly, you didn’t want to fall down.

The kiss was messy, but so sexy.

Mark sucked on your lower lip and pushed his tongue back inside your mouth. You wanted more, you wanted him to touch you.

Mark pulled away and looked at your lips. He didn’t want to stop kissing you. He wanted to kiss you forever.

Mark saw the lust in your eyes, he knew you wanted more, so he pushed you softly on his bed and hovered above you. His lips found yours again, and the way he kissed you drove you insane.

Mark’s hand travelled to your thigh and he pushed your dress up. You wrapped your legs around him and pulled him closer. With his free hand, he pulled the straps of your dress down, giving him access to you neck. You turned your face to the side to give him a better access to you neck and when you felt him suck on your skin, your lips escaped a whimper.

“M-Mark-” you moaned as he kissed his way down to your breasts. You’ve never been touched like that before, or kissed.

He pushed your dress down to expose your breasts, and he felt his dick twitch in his pants as he saw your boobs.

Mark didn’t waste any second as he started licking your left nipple, and pinching the other one with his fingers.

“F-Fuck- oh my god-” it felt so good to have his mouth on your boobs, the feeling was so new to you, but it felt so good. So, fucking good.

“M-More... Mark, please-” you needed more, you needed him to touch you down there.

Mark dropped to his knees on the floor and pulled you to the edge of his bed. He left wet kisses on your thighs as he pushed your dress up to expose you down there fully.

Even the underwear you wore was sexy.

“Is this okay?” he asked you as he softly stroked your thighs.

“Y-yes, please touch me.”

Mark didn’t waste any second as he pulled your panties down. You realized that Mark had a perfect view of your pussy and you shyly closed your legs.

“Everything about you is so beautiful.” he said as he pushed your legs apart.

When you felt his breath against your pussy, you almost came.

Mark started lapping on your wet pussy and he sucked on your clit slowly. He flicked his tongue around your clit and he pushed his tongue in and out your dripping hole, you’ve never felt this good in your life.

You felt his thumb on your clit as he messaged your nub. He kept licking your pussy up and down, eating you out like it was his last mission on earth.

“F-Feels so good-” you moan, and he wants to make you feel ever better.

You feel his index finger on your entrance, you were wet enough for his finger to slip inside of you. It felt weird, but an amazing weird. Not even a two seconds later, he added a second finger and started puming his fingers in and out of you.

With his fingers inside of you and his tongue on your clit, you lost your mind and explode on his tongue. “Oh- oh my god, f-fuck!” you moan out loudly, not caring if anyone heard you. You just had your first orgasm and it was the best feeling ever.

Mark licked you clean and his chin was glistening with your cum as he looked up to you. He crawled up and pressed his lips on yours to give you a taste of yourself.

“Are you okay?” he whispered as he pulled away.

“More than okay.” you whisper back.

Mark cleans you up afterwards and hands you a shirt. You pulled your panties shyly up and changed to his shirt, Mark’s eyes didn’t fail to notice that you were almost completely naked as you changed.

His dick was about to explode. Mark almost came in his pants, but he wanted to make you feel good, he could take care of himself-

“Mark?”

“Oh, yeah sorry, are you alright?”

You nod, “I am, but... u-uh are you?” you point at the tent in his pants.

“O-Oh yeah I'm alright. Don't worry about it.”

“I-I want to make you feel good too.” you say and look anywhere but at him.

“You don’t have to baby-”

Your heart almost exploded when he called you baby, but you put that thought to the side.

“I really want to. I-I just never did that before. Y-you have to tell me how I can make you... feel good.”

Mark looked at you and saw that you really wanted to do it. So, he took his shirt off and unbottened his jeans. He sat down on the edge of the bed and patted the space next to him.

You sat down next to him and he took your hand softly and placed your hand slowly on his hard cock. He was still in his boxers and you wanted to see his cock. He was really hard and Mark wanted you to get used to it before he shows you his bare cock.

“I-I want to see.” you tell him shyly and he takes his cock out of his briefs.

Your eyes widened. Mark’s really fucking big and you thought he’d split you in half if he fucked you.

He smiled at you reaction.

“Wrap your hand around it.”

You did as he said and he put his hand on top of yours, slowly guiding you. As soon as you got it, he let go and you pumped his cock up and down. Mark’s eyes were on your face as you looked at his cock. You looked so fucking hot with his cock in his hand and with your post orgasm look, you just glowed.

“A l-little bit faster p-please.” he moans and you do as he says.

You wanted to take his cock in your mouth, you wanted to taste him, too.

You fell down to your knees, right in front of his cock and before Mark could realize, you licked his tip and tasted his precum.

“O-oh my god, w-what fuck fuck fuck.”

Mark’s eyes widened and his cock twitched in your hand.

You put the tip in your mouth and sucked on his tip, your hand was still pumping him up and down and Mark couldn’t hold back. He came inside your mouth without a warning and that surprised you and you pulled back and cum landed on your face.

“Fuck you look so hot- fuck, fuck.” he exploded and you were surprised by the taste of his cum.

Mark was out of breath as he fell back on his bed. His cock was back in his briefs and you were just staring at him with cum on your face.

“I-I’ll clean you up.”

Mark cleaned you up and kissed you on the lips.

“Thank you. Let’s sleep now, baby.”

And that night, you fell asleep with Mark’s arms wrapped around you, your head on his chest and legs entangled.

You woke up in the same postion, Mark was already wide awake.

“Hey.” he said as he saw you wake up, he was admiring your pretty face.

“Hi.” you say and hide your face in his neck.

“How are you feeling?” he asks and softly starts playing with your hair.

“Great. You?”

“Great.”

You look back up at him and he leans in and pecks your lips.

“Do you want to on a date with me tonight?”

“A date?”

He nods as he cups your cheek and caresses it with his thumb.

“Yeah, I want to go on a date with you.”

Just when he was about to press his lips on yours again, your phone rang.

You grabbed your phone and your eyes widened. “Oh, holy shit it’s almost 2 pm!” you jump out of his bed and you answered the call as you looked for your clothes.

“Hey mom... yeah I'm still with her. I know I'll be home soon. Don’t worry, okay. Bye.”

Mark watched you from his bed and when you took his shirt off without thinking twice, your eyes met and you realized that you were just in your panties.

You held his shirt against your boobs shyly and he just giggled at your cuteness.

“I’ll close my eyes if you want me to.”

“N-No, it’s okay... But can you help me? Please?”

Mark jumps out of his bed and helps you with your dress, his fingers brush your skin and you almost jump on him to kiss him and do the things you did last night, but you were late, too late.

“I’ll take you home, I don’t want you to go alone.”

You two got ready in the bathroom and his roommates were still sleeping, the apartment looked like a mess, but Mark told you not to worry about it.

He took the keys of Jeno’s car and drove you home, his hand was holding yours and you didn’t want to go.

Mark parked a little bit further from your house. He wanted to kiss you before you’d leave him again. So, he pressed his lips against yours and pushed his tongue inside of your mouth.

Your little make out session stopped after a couple minutes, Mark wanted to kiss you more and you wanted that too, but you promised him to go on a date tonight, you just had to wait a couple hours until you’d see each other again.

As you got ready for your date tonight, you couldn‘t stop yourself from smiling like a fool. You were so excited to go on a date with Mark and you when you remembered last night, your cheeks started burning. You had your first intimate experience last night and it was amazing. The way Mark made you feel, the way he kissed and touched you.

Your phone interrupted your thoughts. Mark sent you a text, telling you that he was waiting outside.

You told your parents that you were going out for dinner with your best friend, you didn’t want to lie to them, but it was still too early to tell them that you were going on a date with your music teacher.

Mark leaned against the brick wall outside your house and when he finally saw you, he smiled brightly and opened his arms for you. You didn’t waste a second and jumped in his arms, hugging him tightly.

“Hey pretty girl.”

You pressed a kiss on his cheek, “Hi.” you said back.

“I planned a great night for us, pretty girl. And I’ll make sure you won’t forget it.”

And you never did. Whenever you felt sad, you remembered that night. You remembered how Mark held your hand tightly, or wrapped his arm around your waist and how he took you to the pier.

You had an amazing dinner with a great view, he made you laugh all the time and the butterflies in your belly were flying around crazily.

“I want to kiss you.” Mark said as took a step towards you on the railing of the bridge.

You two were staring at the stars and the sea and it was so romantic. Just like you always imagined how your first date would be.

“Then kiss me.”

So, he pressed his lips against yours.

This kiss was different than the others. Even though your tongues played with each other, it wasn’t a messy but a passionate kiss. He trapped you between his arms and the railing, pressing his chest against yours.

Mark could almost hear your heartbeat as he was so close to yours. Your hearts connected that night and you were happier than ever.

A new day, a new music lesson.

Mark entered your home and winked at you from across the room, your parents didn’t see that, of course.

“Hello, sir. Ma'am.” he greeted your parents.

“Hello, Mark. How are the lessons going?” your dad asks.

“Really good, she learns fast and she has really improved in the last couple weeks.”

“That’s great. So, kids, we’re heading out to dinner with a couple friends of ours.” your mom informs you.

You were going to be all alone with Mark.

“Mrs Kim is still here, so if you’re hungry just ask her to cook something for you two.”

Well, not completely alone, but Mrs Kim is an older lady and she probably leaves before your parents come back.

After wishing your parents a great night, Mark followed you to the music room and when you felt his hand softly pinch your butt, you almost yelped loudly.

Your eyes widened and you pulled him to the music room and not a second later, his lips were on yours. Mark pressed you against the door as he kissed you and next thing you felt his lips on your neck, sucking your skin softly.

Your lips escaped a moan, you put your hand on your mouth immediately. You were still not completely alone, you couldn’t risk being loud.

“M-Mark...” you whisper-moaned as his hand travelled inside your shirt, up to your breasts.

“Shh baby, we don’t want anyone to hear you, do we?” he whispered in your ear.

Since you were wearing a skirt, Mark had perfect access to your pussy.

Mark pushed your panties to the side and started playing with your clit, circling it and kissing you to stop you from moaning loudly.

But of course, you couldn’t stop yourself. A moan slipped past your lips and you clenched around Mark’s fingers as he pushed his index and middle finger inside of you.

“Feels good baby?” he whispered and you nod, you could feel the tears in the corner of your eyes. “It f-feels so good.” you whisper against his lips.

“You’re so wet baby, so fucking wet, my fingers slipped inside of you so easily. You’re dripping wet for me, right? Just for me.”

“Y-Yeah. Just for you- oh my god-” Mark pressed his lips on yours to suppress your moans, you came on his fingers and your legs almost gave in.

Mark pulled back and kept his eyes locked with yours. Your chest was going up and down, you were out of breath and when you watched him put his fingers inside his mouth and taste you, you almost came a second time.

“Did I make you feel good?” he asks you.

“Yes. It felt so good-”

A knock on the door interrupted you.

You pushed Mark away and pulled your skirt down.

“Y-Yes?” you asked. “Ms Y/n, I have a small emergency at home, is it okay if I leave earlier? There's still some food in the fridge. You can heat it up and eat it.”

“Sure Mrs Kim. I hope everything is alright.”

“Yes, don’t worry. Have a good night.”

“Good night.”

Now you were completely alone with Mark.

“Sit on the piano.” he says.

“W-What?”

“Sit. On the piano. And take your skirt and your panties off.”

You did as he said and sat on top the piano. Mark looked at you like he was starving and when he was between your legs, he pushed them a little wider and without a warning, he licked your wetness up and down.

The sudden feeling had you squirming around and loud noises echoed through the music room. You hit a couple notes as you felt his tongue dip in and out of your hole.

“Mark!” you moaned out as he sucked on your clit.

Your foot landed on the piano and you didn’t even care how loud you were, you were home alone and you were getting your pussy eaten by the most handsome man you’ve ever seen.

“Taste so fucking good.” his voice gave you goosebumps, and pushed you to your orgasm.

“Mark- I- I can’t...”

And then you exploded on his tongue, your feet hitting the notes and making so much noise, but your moans were louder.

Mark was so fucking hard, eating you out on a piano was the hottest thing he has ever done or seen. He almost came in his pants, but you almost fell on his lap, your wet pussy brushing his clothes cock.

“I want to fuck you so bad.” he says as he takes his cock out of his pants with your help.

“Do it.” you tell him as you wrap your hand around his cock, just like you did last time.

“N-not today- fuck.”

You started pumping his cock up and down and stared kissing. Mark was sucking on your tongue as he felt his release coming. Mark moaned and whined as he came all over your hand.

“Fuck, you’re so fucking hot.”

You found yourself in the kitchen with Mark’s arms wrapped around your waist. You put the dinner Mrs Kim left in the fridge into the microwave and you almost burned it. Mark couldn’t get enough of you; his lips were constantly on you.

“I could kiss you all day.” he mumbled into your neck and sucks on your skin softly.

“Do you want to eat me or actual food?” you ask him, but you actually knew what he was going to answer.

“Of course, you.” his lips found yours again.

“M-Mark... the... food...” you try to say.

And then his stomach growled, making you laugh.

“I guess I am hungry.”

You ate dinner together while watching some TV and after cleaning up, Mark pulled you on his lap. “Let’s stay like this and watch a movie.” he said.

There was no way you’d say no, so you opened netflix and started watching a movie with him.

You were laying with Mark on the couch, his arms wrapped around you and sometimes he kissed you neck and sometimes he turned your head to kiss your lips.

It felt so good to lay between his arms, to feel his lips and his hands all over your body. There was this feeling deep inside of you and you were sure, that you were falling for Mark.

Days later, you told your parents that you were going to sleepover at your best friend's house, even though you went over to Mark’s.

Nothing happened that night, you just talked all night long and kissed. You ordered a pizza and hung out like couples would do, and you could feel the butterflies in your belly every time he kissed you.

Your head was on his chest as he softly played with your hair. You could hear his heartbeat and you were almost sure he could hear yours.

“This feels nice.” you said and closed your eyes.

“Yeah, it does.”

Mark had two girlfriends in high school, his second girlfriend was the one he lost his virginity to and he was never really in love with them. He never felt the butterflies in his belly, he never said I love you, it was like dating but without the love part.

He never knew how it felt to be in love or even fall in love, so the things he felt when he was with you, were unfamiliar to him and he couldn’t really describe it.

Yes, you turned him on, you were incredibly hot and sexy, but you were also cute, pretty and adorable. He liked being with you, he liked teaching you how to play the guitar or the piano. Mark liked how your finger brushed his when you sat at the piano together. Mark liked how you smiled when he looked at you longer than he should.

Mark liked hanging out with you and he always looked forward to your lessons.

“Y/n?” he broke the silence.

“Yeah?”

“Have you ever had a boyfriend?”

Your eyes widened.

“N-No...” you felt your cheeks heat up.

“So, am I the first guy who gets to hold you like this? And touch you like this?” he asked as his other hand went under your shirt.

“Yes.” you said shyly.

“That’s good.” he presses a short kiss on your hair.

“A-and you?” you really wanted to know.

“Yes. But they never meant anything to me. Not like you do.”

You sat up on the bed and turned to him, “I mean something to you?”

Mark sat up to and cupped your cheek with one hand. “Of course, you mean something to me. You mean to me more than you think.” he stroked your cheek with his thumb.

“Is that... is that okay?” he whispered against your lips.

You didn’t know what to say, so you just nodded and pressed your lips on his.

Mark slowly pushed you on his bed and hovered above you, his lips never left yours. That night, he kissed you over and over again.

“You have two weeks left.” Renjun reminded him.

“I know. I’m almost there. I had to make her fall for me first, I'll leave hints and she’ll ask me herself. Just trust me.”

Mark ignored the voice in his head who told him that he was being the biggest asshole and that it was a mistake to play with you like that.

“That’s so fucked up, but I hope your stupid plan works.” Jeno said after taking a bite of his pizza.

Mark took you on a special date, you were currently in the back of Jeno’s car, kissing and watching the sunset.

“You’re so beautiful, y/n.” he whispered against your ear.

He left wet kisses on your skin and held you tightly.

“I wish I could spend every hour of the day with you.”

It was time for Mark’s plan.

“I wish that too. I have only one week left until school starts. It sucks. I don’t wanna go there.” you mumble as you hide your face in his neck.

“It really sucks. It would be so much easier if we went to the same school. But I'll just pick you up and we’ll hang out after school and on the weekends.” Mark said casually. He was so good acting, he shocked himself.

“Yeah, that’d be so much easier if we-” suddenly, you stopped talking.

“Y/n? Are you alright?” he asks but you sit up and look at him with a big smile on your face.

“Mark! I just found the perfect solution! I know you love music, more than I do, that’s for sure. It’s your passion and after everything you told me about your passion, it just makes sense!”

“What are you talking about?” he was getting closer to his dreams.

“My dad! Mark! My dad! I’ll talk to him and I know that he likes you. He’ll help you to attend NEO CULTURE UNIVERSITY OF ART!” you smiled brightly and the way you got so excited, almost broke Mark’s heart, almost.

“No, no way y/n. That’s too much, I can’t ask you to do that.”

“Mark, come on, trust me. It’s not a big deal. You deserve it so much, I can’t believe I didn’t think about it sooner. The school is perfect for you.”

“Y/n... are you really sure about this? It is a big deal.”

“I am 100% sure Mark. I know that you deserve it so much and I know that you’re going to make it big. My dad is going to support you, I promise.”

Mark cupped your cheeks and looked you deep in the eyes.

“Y/n, I’ve never met anyone like you. You have no idea how much I want to be with you.”

“Then be with me. I’m all yours, Mark.”

And then he connected your lips.

“That’s actually a great idea, y/n. Mark, we would love to have someone as talented and passionate about music as you in our school. I’ll take care of everything; I just have one condition.”

“Of course, sir. Anything.” Mark was the happiest man alive.

“I hope you’ll continue with your lessons with y/n.”

“Gladly, sir. I am really thankful for the opportunity you’re giving me. You have no idea how much this means to me.”

Mark left you dad’s office and you were waiting for him already. He smiled at you and you got your answer. You silently jumped in his arms and kissed him as fast as you could, before anyone could see.

You pulled Mark to the music room and as soon as the door was shut, you pressed your lips on his again and kissed him with more passion.

“I can’t believe I'm going to school with my girl.” he said against your lips after pulling away.

“Your girl?” you smiled shyly.

“I-I... I thought you’re my girl, I'm sorry, I should ask you first-”

You interrupted him with your lips.

“I would love to be your girl.”

And now you had your first boyfriend ever and you couldn’t believe your luck.

School started and Mark was the happiest man alive.

He had a beautiful girl by his side and he was attending his dream school, everything was too good to be true.

His friends told him to break up with you, but somehow Mark couldn’t. Not only because he would risk getting his ass beaten by your dad, but because he liked being with you. He liked spending his time with you, he liked kissing you and holding you in his arms. Mark liked waking up with you by his side, he liked how cute you were, no matter what you did, he liked how shy you got whenever he touched you.

After spending more and more time with you, he found himself falling for you.

“Hey babe. Where are you? I missed you.” Mark said like a lovesick puppy.

You told Mark that you were at a ramen restaurant close to school with your best friend and you invited him to come and eat with you and also finally meet your best friend.

“There he is.” you said happily and jumped from your seat to hug your boyfriend.

“Hey baby.” he pressed a soft kiss on your neck and then turned to your best friend, “Hey. It’s nice to finally meet you.”

“Likewise.” she said and shook his hand.

“My two favorite people. I’m starving, let’s eat!”

Your best friend was eating her ramen but she couldn’t stop thinking that she met Mark somewhere before.

“Mark? Do we know each other?” she asked after thinking about it for almost an hour.

“No, I don’t think so.” he said.

“You look so familiar, I’m sure I've seen you before.”

Mark understood where this was coming from. He remembered that your best friend was with you when Mark first met you when he still worked at the café, and Mark didn’t need you to know that.

“I don’t know, but I can’t remember seeing you. Anyways, do you want some ice cream?” he changed the topic but your best friend kept thinking about it.

Mark took you back to his place and you found yourself in his bed with him on top of you.

“Had fun in school?” he asked you as his lips pressed wet kisses on your neck.

“Mhmm, I missed you though. I hate that we just have two classes together.”

“I missed you too,” he sucked on your skin, “But now you’re here. Under me.”

Your lips escaped a moan and you could feel yourself getting wetter and wetter. “M-Mark. Please.”

“Please what baby? What does my baby want? Hm?” his hand travelled under your shirt and pulled your bra cups down.

“Please touch me more- make me cum, please.” you whined.

You felt his fingers on your nipples, softly pinching them. He sucked on your nipple over your shirt first, but he couldn’t wait anymore and helped you take your shirt and bra off.

“Okay baby. I’ll make you feel good.”

Mark sucked on your tits as his hand found its way inside your panties. You were dripping wet and his fingers slipped inside of you easily. He fingered you with two fingers and kissed you all over your breasts and neck.

“Mark- more please. Please I need you.”

“You want my mouth, babygirl?”

You moaned when he called you babygirl, how can he be so hot?

“N-no... more. I need you.”

Mark’s cock twitched in his pants.

You wanted him to fuck you and he saw the stars. This must be his lucky day.

“You sure baby? We don’t have to.”

“Yes, I'm sure. I want you.”

Mark took his shirt, his pants and his boxers off, your eyes widened as you saw his cock. He pulled you panties down and you were definitely wet enough.

Mark stopped in his tracks as he realized he didn’t have a condom.

“Fuck, give me a second.”

He threw his boxers back on and almost ran to Jeno to look for a condom and he was lucky.

Mark closed the door again and smiled brightly at you, he almost came the second he saw you laying naked on his bed and looking absolutely dashing. He took his boxers off, pulled the condom down on his cock and was back on top of you.

“Hey.”

You smiled. “Hi.”

“I’m sorry, it’s going to hurt.”

“It’s okay.”

You felt him at your entrance, slowly pushing in. The stretch hurt but after a couple minutes, the pain was gone and turned into pleasure.

“F-Fuck, you feel so fucking good.” he moaned.

You grabbed his biceps, it felt so good, you couldn’t stop yourself from moaning out loud.

“A-Ah- Fuck-”

Mark’s lips were everywhere and he grabbed your hips to fuck you deeper. You clenched around him and every time you did, he moaned.

“I-I love you-”

The three words left your lips and pushed Mark closer to his orgasm.

“I love you.” he said back and kissed you on the lips.

Mark’s thumb was on your clit and started circling it and your orgasm hit you, not even a minute later, Mark came too.

Mark felt like the luckiest man on earth again.

You took a quick shower with Mark and then you cuddled in his bed. Nobody said anything about the three words you said to each other, but you needed to talk about it. You needed him to know that you mean it.

“Mark?”

“Yes baby?” he said as he caressed your hair.

“I, uhm... I really meant what I said.”

Mark didn’t know what you were talking about at first. “What do you- ohh.”

Your back was pressed against his and he softly turned you to him. He cupped your cheek and looked you in the eyes. “I mean it, too. I love you, y/n. I’ve never felt like this before. You make my heart race; you make me feel like the luckiest guy on earth.”

“I love you too.” you mumbled shyly and pressed your lips on his, it was rare that you kissed him first, but he loved it every time you did it.

Today was your birthday, almost two months after you lost your virginity to Mark. After that one night, you did it so many times a week, you got addicted to each other, but also after saying I love you, your relationship changed and became more real and serious. You wanted to tell your parents but Mark wasn’t ready and you respected that.

Mark organized a little party for your birthday, invited a couple of your friends, your new friends you met in school and his roommates, of course.

The party was fun but all you wanted was to be alone with Mark, every time you got the chance to be alone, someone interrupted you, even in his own room.

Mark promised you a great night when everyone was gone and now you were just enjoying spending time with your friends.

Your best friend was talking to Jeno and after getting to know him, she finally remembered where she met Mark before.

“Yeah, we work there. Well, I work there, Mark stopped working there a couple months ago after he heard about the music teacher job.” he said drunk.

“That’s where I saw him before! We always went there, that must be where I saw him before.” she realized.

You were a little bit tipsy; you didn’t want to drink too much, Mark didn’t want to drink too much, too. But his friends were really drunk and your best friend, too.

“Y/n! Mark! Remember when I told you about Mark looking absolutely familiar? That’s because I saw him before! He worked at the café we always go to! Jeno works there, too. That’s why he also seemed familiar. I knew that I saw you before.” she giggled.

“You worked there?” you asked him.

“Yeah, just a couple months, it’s been really long since I worked there.” Mark was nervous but he did a good job hiding that.

“Excuse me for a second.” Mark excused himself to find Jeno and tell him to shut the fuck up.

Mark pulled Jeno to the balcony, which was thankfully empty.

“Dude I'm so fucking drunk, why would you bring me here?” he said as he took a step back with a giggle.

“Sit down then, idiot.”

“Okie dokie.” he sat down on the chair.

“You told y/n’s best friend that I worked at the café, Jeno, dude, I know you’re drunk, but you have to watch your big mouth. Y/n also knows that I worked there and she can’t find out that I saw her there back then.”

“I... I didn’t tell her anything about your plan, bro! Don't worry.” he pulled Mark in for a hug.

“Don’t call it a plan... that’s sound like I'm the biggest jerk on this planet.”

“But you kinda are bro. If y/n finds out you used her to get to her dad and to attend that stupid school, she’ll also think you’re the biggest,” he hiccupped, “Biggest jerk on this planet.”

“But she won’t, okay? Promise me to shut up.”

“P-Promise.”

Mark turned around and wanted to go back to the party, but once Mark’s eyes met yours, he wanted to jump off the balcony.

Your hand was outstretched with Mark’s phone in your hand, which was ringing.

“No, no, please just listen to me.” Mark said the second he saw a tear drop on your cheek.

You dropped his phone and turned on your heel.

“Y/n! No please just let me explain! Fuck!”

You left his apartment and, on his way, after you, Mark told Renjun to keep an eye on Jeno.

“Y/N! Please don’t run away from me!”

Tears were running down your cheeks and all you wanted is to be alone.

“Don’t follow me! Leave me alone!” you yelled and looked for a fucking taxi.

Mark reached you and softly grabbed your wrist. “Please.”

“Fuck you!” you tried to pull away but his grip tightened.

“Just let me explain, I'm begging you.”

“Explain what? That you used me for my dad? That you used me just to attend that fucking school?! That you fucking used my.... that you used my body?” your voice broke and so did Mark’s heart.

You couldn’t stop crying even though you didn’t want to cry in front of him. You felt so disgusting, so used and worthless.

Mark started crying too before he could even realize it.

“N-No, please don’t say that. I love you. I’m sorry y/n, I swear I love you.”

“Do you know how worthless I feel? Do you know how disgusting I feel?” you wiped your tears away.

“I never meant to hurt you.” he cried out.

“But you did. I gave you every piece of me, of my soul and my body and you used it. You used me Mark and I’ll never forget that. Stay away from me, don’t talk to me and don’t fucking touch me!” you ripped your arm away from his grip and took a step back.

“All I did was to love you, and now I hear about this... this disgusting thing you did to me on my stupid birthday.” you say with a scoff.

Your eyes were bloodshot red and all you wanted to do is to sleep.

“Y/n, I know w-what I did was bad, r-really bad but please believe me when I say that I love you.”

“I don’t believe anything you say to me. I don’t even believe that you ever meant it when you said it.” you whispered, scared that your voice was going to break again.

Finally, a taxi came and you got in without looking back.

“No no no, don’t go please don’t leave me.” Mark cried after you.

You rolled the window down a little. “Don’t worry. I won’t tell my dad.”

Mark’s eyes widened, your words stabbing his heart.

“Y/n please I love you-”

But before you could hear it, you were gone.

You left Mark with a broken and regretful heart, he couldn’t stop himself from crying and even though you were hurting the most, Mark was also hurting.

It’s been two days since that night and all you did was hide in your bedroom and cry. Your parents didn’t notice how heartbroken you were, you told them you were sick and couldn’t go to school, and that worked until today. You had a music lesson with Mark today and even though you told your parents you were sick, Mark was at your home waiting for you.

The past two days he tried everything to talk to you, but you blocked him everywhere. Once Mark noticed your absence in school, he got really worried and tried to talk to your best friend, who didn’t know what was going on between you two.

“She’s sick, didn’t she tell you?” she said.

“Oh yeah right, I must’ve forgotton that she told me.”

Your seat in your music theory class was empty and Mark let out a sigh. He missed you, so much. Mark would do anything to get you back and he was glad he had a music lesson with you today after school.

So, here he was, waiting for you in the music room.

“Y/n,” your mothers knocks on your door, “Mark’s here. He’s waiting for you.”

You didn’t want to see him and you didn’t want to talk to him.

“I’m still sick, mom!” you yell back.

“Okay, honey. I’ll tell him. Are you alright? I have a meeting in an hour and have to go and your dad’s also not home. Call me if you need me or just ask Mrs Kim if you need anything.”

Your mother left and told Mark that you weren’t feeling well. Mark really hoped to see you and talk to you, but you were still avoiding him.

“Y/n’s still sick, I’m sorry that you had to come all the way here. I thought she was feeling better.”

“It’s alright, I hope she gets well soon.” Mark says with a broken smile.

Your mothers checked her watched and noticed that she was running late, “I really have to go now, Mark. I’ll tell her to call you when she’s feeling better.”

“Could I use the bathroom before I go?” he asked your mother, hoping she’d say yes.

“Of course, it’s the second door to the left.”

Your mother left and Mark waited in the bathroom until he was sure that she was really gone. He checked the hallway and when he was sure it was clear, he made his way to your room, knocking softly.

“I’m sick, Mrs kim.”

Mark knocked again.

“Mrs Kim I'll come downstairs if I get hungry, I'll sleep now.” you said.

Mark knocked one more time.

“Mrs Kim I-”

You opened the door and your eyes widened when you saw Mark standing there. Before you could close the door, Mark put his foot in between and stopped you.

“I just want to talk, please.” he whispered.

“Get out of my house.”

“Y/n, just let me explain first. Please let me explain.” he begged you.

“I don’t want to hear more lies.”

“I’ll tell you the truth. I won’t lie, I promise. Please, let me in. I missed you so much, I need to see you.” Mark’s voice broke.

Your heart was fighting against your head and in the end, you listened to your heart.

“You have two minutes.” you said and let him enter your room.

You closed the door and sat down on the edge of your bed. Mark wanted to sit down next to you but you stopped him.

“Stay right there. You got 1 minute and 35 seconds left.”

Mark stopped in his tracks and let out a breath.

“First of all, I love you. I really do, y/n. The first time I saw you was at the café I was working at with Jeno and I listened to your conversation with your best friend. You needed a music teacher and then you talked about your dad and I found out who he was... who you were. I got the job and it was the best thing that happened to me. Yes, y/n. I love music and I was stupid enough to act selfishly. At one point it was true that I only wanted this job to get closer to your dad, but you have to believe me when I tell you that I fell in love with you. You mean so much more to me than that school. I love you and only you. I want to be with you, I'll do anything for that.”

You listened to him and it still hurt that the plan was actually true.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for hurting you. What I did was selfish and the biggest asshole move. Whether I love you or not, I shouldn’t have done it and it’s not an excuse that I was scared of the future. I told you about my situation with my parents and... it turned me to an asshole. I was so desperate and I thought this was the only way.”

You still knew that Mark deserved going to that school. Someone as passionate and talented as him had to make it big and get a chance to fullfill their dreams. But it broke your heart into million pieces, you couldn’t just forgive him.

You looked up and met his teary eyes.

You couldn’t stop yourself from crying and once you started, Mark dropped to his knees and cupped your cheeks.

“Don’t cry. I hate to see you cry.” Mark whispered but you couldn’t stop.

“I-I don’t know what else to- to do...” you cried out, “I-I trusted you...”

“I’ll do anything to gain your trust again. Anything.”

“Mark-”

“Y/n? Can I come in?” you heard your dad’s voice and you accidently pushed Mark away and he landed on his butt.

“Fuck, my dad’s home.” you whispered and looked for a place to hide Mark, “Hide under my bed.”

“Y/n-”

“No talking, more hiding!” you whispered and helped him hide under your bed. You crawled back inside your bed and wiped your tears away. “You can come in dad.” you said and coughed after.

Your dad entered your room with a cup of tea.

“I heard my princess is sick. I made you some tea your grandma always made for me when I was little.”

You smiled brightly at him. “Thanks dad.”

He sat down on the edge of your bed, “Your mother told me you cancelled your lesson with Mark.”

“Yeah... I-I didn’t want to make him sick.”

“So, how’s it going? And how is school? I heard you share a couple classes. Mark’s professors also told me that he’s really talened and has so much potential.”

This information should make Mark happy, but all he could think about was you.

“Yes, he is really talented. He helped me a lot, too. And school’s fun- for now.” your said and your dad laughed at that.

“I still remember when I went to that school. Time flies. So, enjoy your time and always be happy, sweetheart. I’ll make you some soup, take some rest I'll bring it upstairs later.”

“I will.”

When your dad left, Mark crawled back up and looked at you with worry written all over his face.

“You can’t leave. My dad will kill us if he sees you.”

“That’s good because I want to spend every single second I have with you, y/n.”

“Mark-”

“No, please. I’ll hide, I won’t risk anything, I just want to be with you. You have no idea how much I missed you.”

“You heard my dad, Mark. He loves you, our professors love you. You don’t have to act like you love me anymore.”

Mark looked at you with so much pain in his eyes, you almost gave in and kissed him. You looked each other in the eyes, Mark took a couple steps until his knees hit your bed. He suddenly bends foreward and his face got closer to yours.

You looked away, you couldn’t look him in the eyes.

“Look me in the eyes, y/n.”

You didn’t.

You felt his fingers under your chin, “Please look me in the eyes.”

“I can’t.”

“I’m in love with you.”

And now your eyes found his.

“I love you, I love everything about you. I just need you. I don’t care about anything or anyone else.”

Mark’s lips came close to yours and then you closed your eyes, you weren’t sure why you closed them. Maybe because you wanted him to kiss you or maybe you hoped that this was a dream and you’d wake up. But when you felt his soft lips on yours, your brain stopped working.

He kissed you slowly, you could taste his tears and he could taste yours.

When you felt his tongue trying to enter your mouth, your brain started working again and you pushed him away.

“I can’t do this.” you whispered against his lips, “How am I supposed to know that you won’t use me again? That this is still your little game and you just want me for my dad?”

“I’m not. I’ll drop everything if you want me to. I’m not using you- I can’t risk losing you. I don’t deserve anything. I know, I don’t deserve you. But I need you, more than anything else. Give me a second chance and I’ll never hurt you again.”

He sounded so genuine and honest, you really wanted to believe him, but you wouldn’t give in that easily.

“I-I need time... I need time to think a-and... I just need time.”

“Okay. Take as much time as you need. I’ll wait for you.”

That night, Mark always hid under your bed whenever your dad checked on you and when your dad wasn’t around, Mark sat on the other side of the bed and watched you.

It was so weird to be alone with him, you just wanted to pull him closer and hug him tightly, but you couldn’t.

“Mark? I have a question.” you asked after a while. You were trying to distract yourself with a book, but it didn’t really work.

“Yes? What is it?”

“That night... the night at your apartment, the first time we did... we did something, you didn’t have any feelings for me, right?”

Mark gulped, “Y/n-”

“Just tell me.”

“Yes, it’s true. I... I wasn’t in love with you, we just got to know each other, but after that night, it felt real. Being with you felt real and I wanted to spend more and more time with you, because you made my heart race. It’s true, I didn’t know what love felt like but every minute I spend with you, made me fall for you more and more.”

You simply nodded and focused back on your book.

After awhile the two of you fell asleep. Your bed was big enough to leave space between you two.

You woke up to a loud sound. Somebody was knocking on your door.

“Honey, are you awake? Can we come in?”

Your parents were knocking.

Mark slowly woke up and once he heard your parents voice, he shot up and got under your bed.

“You can come in!”

Your parents wanted to check on you and once they saw that you were doing better, they left for work.

Mark left shortly after parents, it was another school day and since you were feeling better, you also got ready to go to school.

It’s been three weeks since your birthday and you were slowly getting used to what happened. That doesn’t mean that you forgot what Mark did, but you were feeling a little bit better.

Mark on the other hand was losing his mind. You were so close but yet so far. He saw you with your friends in school and it broke his heart watching you in your shared class. You were always ignoring him, even though it hurt.

“I love her s-so much...” Mark hiccupped.

He was drinking his pain away with his roommates, who were also dealing with their own problems, their own pain in their hearts.

They were all so drunk and thinking about their loved ones, they couldn’t help each other, thinking the solution for their problems is to drink.

“I need her back- I need her, guys. I miss her, everything about her.”

Jeno and Renjun just nodded, thinking the same thing.

“I have to hear her voice- I missed her voice. But she won’t talk to me.” Mark whispered to himself.

Mark decided to call you though.

He stumbled inside his room, his eyes blurry and his hands shaking. Mark was nervous, but he was determined to call you.

You were busy watching good girls when your phone started ringing. It was past two am in the morning and your parents were asleep. You answered the call without looking at the caller-id.

“Hello?” you said quietly.

“Y-you answered, you... you didn’t block my number.” Mark said with a grin on his face.

“Mark?”

“Say it again.”

“What?” you didn’t understand.

“Say my name again,” he hiccupped, “P-please say my name again- I missed hearing my name from your sweet lips so much you h-have no idea.”

Your heart started beating faster.

“Mark, it’s late. Where are you? Are you at home?”

“Mhm... but I don’t want to be here- I want to be with you.” he admitted.

“Are you drunk? Are you alone-”

“I’m with Jeno and Renjun, don’t worry about me, beautiful.” Mark closed his eyes as he was laying in his bed.

“Do you miss me? I miss you, like, so fucking much I need to invent a new word to describe it.” he said, his voice was playful but he was serious.

You didn’t answer at first, but as soon as you heard Mark sob, you also broke down.

“Y-Yes... I missed you.”

Mark’s heart clenched.

“I-I know I hurt you so much, but,” his voice broke, “I-I promise to never h-hurt you again. I love you, I really, really love you so much. Every I love you was real, I promise.”

You put your hand on your mouth to muffle your cries.

“E-Everytime I see you, it hurts so much to stay away from you. I-I know... I deserve this and so much more, but I don’t know how long I can stay away from you.”

Your tears were rolling down your cheek and all you wanted to do was to wrap your arms around Mark and hug him as tightly as you could.

“I’m a fucking coward. I am so sorry f-for everything I did to you. I am so sorry for... I shouldn’t have... I shouldn’t have touched you. I just- I just wanted to show you how much I love you in every possible way. But I fucked up and I know you won’t forgive me but, I had to tell you again.” Mark cried out, his eyes closed, trying to stop his tears from falling but it was impossible.

“Mark-”

“I love you and I’ll make sure to punish myself for hurting someone as amazing and k-kind as you.”

“Mark I-”

“I hope one day y-you can forgive me. I love you.”

“Mark!” but before you could continue, he hung up.

You fell asleep crying and thinking about all the life choices you made. Yes, Mark hurt you, but you could hear in his voice how genuine he was and how much he was hurting. You acted like nothing happened in school, but your eyes sometimes found Mark and you saw how miserable he was.

Your phone woke you up. It was a Saturday morning and you just wanted to sleep. After the third time, you answered, getting annoyed after ignoring the call at first.

“Finally, y/n!”

That was Renjun’s voice.”

“He should be there already.” you heard Jeno’s voice.

“Why are you disturbing my sleep?” you asked.

You heard your doorbell ring, but ignored it. You didn’t feel like greeting anyone.

“You have to wake the fuck up! Mark’s going to tell your dad that he wants to quit school!” Renjun’s words shocked you. You shot up immediately.

“What are you talking about?! Why would he do that?!”

“We got drunk last night and he was saying things like not deserving anything and being the worst person on earth and shit. He told us that he was going to talk to your dad and move out, he said he’s worthless and that his parents were right and shit like that, but y/n, we both know that even though he did something horrible, sorry by the way, that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity and he deserves to show his talent.”

Your heart was about to explode, Renjun’s right. Mark hurt you but you’d never want him to quit school and ruin his dream.

“Thank you for calling me, Renjun. I got this.”

You jumped out of your bed and once you heard his voice, your heart dropped.

“Sir, Ma'am. I am absolutely thankful for the opportunities you’ve given me. It was an honor to be y/n’s music teacher, but there is something I need to tell you. You did so much for me and I can’t continue living like that.”

Your parents didn’t understand what Mark was talking about, they got a little scared, what could Mark possibly tell them?

“I should’ve told you sooner, but-”

“Mark and I are dating!”

Your parents and Marks eyes landed on you once you were at the last step of the stairs. You were still in your pajamas, you looked like you just woke up, which you did. Your eyes were puffy from crying all night and so were Mark’s.

Mark’s eyes shot wide open, he did not expect that.

“We’re dating, mom and dad. I wanted to keep it a secret because I didn’t know how to tell you guys, but Mark didn’t want to lie to you. He tried to convince me to tell you but I didn’t know how you’d react so I didn’t want to tell you...” you almost collapsed, you’ve never had a boyfriend before and you didn’t know how your parents would react.

Your parents looked at each other and then back at you and Mark.

You were standing next to Mark now, you softly grabbed his hand and hold it. Mark didn’t know what to do, were you serious? Did you forgive him? Do you still love him?

“I’m sorry, but we love each other.”

You and Mark looked at each other and you smiled softly at him.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about, honey. We already knew that there was something going on between you two. I mean, Mark should be here three times a week, not every day.” your mother giggled.

So, they noticed. You lied to them and told them that you were ‘learning a piece on the piano’ but you were just cuddling and making out.

“Dad?”

“You’re a big girl now. Even though I'd like to carry you in my pocket and stop you from growing up, but we knew that this day would come and we are happy that it’s Mark. He’s a good boy and I know he won’t hurt my little princess. Or I'll break his legs.” he whispered to Mark but everyone heard him. Your mother softly slapped your dad on the shoulder and Mark’s grip tightened around your hand. Not because he was scared of your dad, because he did hurt his little princess.

“I promise you, I won’t hurt her. Ever.”

Your parents allowed Mark to hang out with you in your room and invited him for dinner. Mark was silently sitting on your bed and you were sitting next to him, still holding his hand. Your dad told you to leave the door open, you cringed but you still did it, you weren’t going to fuck Mark when your parents were at the same house and awake.

“Why did you do this?” he asked you, head low.

“Because I love you.”

Mark’s eyes filled with tears.

“Why did you want to do that?” you meant telling your parents that he wanted to quit school.

“Because I love you.” he said back.

“I really, really love you, y/n. I promise you, if you give me a second chance, I'll make sure to show you how much I love you and you mean to me.”

“I already gave you a second chance, Mark. I love you too.”

Mark leaned in and pressed his lips on yours, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him closer. You missed him so much, you just wanted to lay in his arms.

Mark’s hand found your cheek and as he deepened the kiss, your mother almost entered your room.

“Oh my god!” she said with a giggle and apologized right after.

“Mom!” you yelled embarrassed; Mark’s cheeks were red as tomatoes.

“Don’t worry. I won’t tell your dad. Dinner is ready by the way.”

2K notes · View notes

moonctzeny · 2 years

Text

The Art of Seduction - The New Prude

pairing: coworker! mark x female! reader (nct 127 series)

genre: smut, angst, fluff

word count: 6.1k

warnings: high school bullying, explicit sex, office sex, oral sex, squirting, fingering, dirty talk, mentions of religion, mention of a cross in a smut setting, nipple play, titty fuck, mentions of divorce, manipulation

summary:

“You are the constant object of my thoughts; my imagination exhausts itself in guessing what you are doing.”

"A prude is someone who is excessively concerned with appearances, with what society considers appropriate and acceptable behavior. New Prudes are secretly oppressed by their correctness and long to transgress. Once you open them up they may overwhelm you. They are simply asleep, waiting to be awakened."

The Art of Seduction Masterlist (series)

taglist: @lilyliline21, @artgukk, @nicolemelton, @aaasteroidsky, @donutswithjaminthemiddle , @junkyuruto, @jwoos-colored, @aedreamzy, @blue-tyong, @ncteaxhoe, @cutejaeyunie, @jj-ms, @winxnct, @commentgirl, @jonecb-97 , @resceluwu, @hyvnjinct, @marklee-hobi-cb97, @yyyyyooooohh, @lovejungwonie, @ahgastayzen, @got-sum-badhabits, @deobitiful, @ivoryyyy, @markable6, @cdellee , @exozenhoe, @meowniee, @nctloml , @ermahgerd101 , @aqui-a, @neozhoen, @flower-lise, @blossom-rea, @pjnjzc, @jayla-lover, @smexosthetik, @nctlovesme, @kenzie-gifford, @bunnylover0193, @hyuckssimpclub, @syhznanny, @myeowmyeow, @popsuhcle, @sehunniepot , @bitchenderyy, @piaozhisheng , @b4y-b , @mynctlib , @brattybunforbts, @mariamaravilla , @sweetjaemss , @violetwinters, @haechanies-mommy, @kwoncheesecake, @ningningsworlds, @lighthyucks , @jenoxygen , @ryu-naa, @mushroomkwan, @revehosh, @lcveshotx, @multistan30, @constipation08, @painted-hills, @neomulucased, @jeongyunoenjoyer, @xsnelly, @hwangful , @secretlypg95, @soffsophia, @ahtisa02, @thejungjaehyun, @yincotton, @lilzmeowmeow, @if-i-like-i-reblog, @itsjustveryhard, @kaja2016, @jujusnogood, @minejungwoo , @k1llejoyss, @goingbananasoverpotassium, @rinasluvs, @nonnnimous , @glassesandsnarkiness , @imagining-constantly, @bebskyy, @got-sum-badhabits, @xuxindaeyo, @jaeminsbebu

@naomis-sins , @slightlymore-main , @jjaeyoonoh, @ichbinschnappi, @infnteen , @babyksworld, @kaja2016

<-- PART 2

PART 3 - The New Prude

The simple jeans and t-shirt you wear to school every day itch your skin like crazy.

The material that you once thought was comfortable is now making you want to rip it off your body, scratch your skin until you see fresh blood bubbling up. Hot tears start streaming down your face at all the sudden attention geared towards you, your glossy eyes reflecting the busy hallway in front of you. In the middle of the rowdy crowd sits the basketball team, the self-proclaimed “kings of the jungle”. The “lions” that are tearing you apart with their claws for the whole school to see.

Their maniacal laughter brings you closer and closer to insanity, the unpleasant sound echoing inside your head. A liquid fire of embarrassment is slowly coaling around your whole body, suffocating you. You crumple up the heart-shaped cardboard in your hands, your fingernails digging against Jaehyun’s pretty handwriting. Or, at least, what you thought was his handwriting. The love letter, the confession, the invitation. It was all falling apart.

“Look at the loser!”, one of the jocks yells, and the crowd follows. They’re all pointing at your insecurities one by one.

“You really thought that the school team’s point guard would ask you to the dance?”

You search for him in between the broad-shouldered jocks, hoping that perhaps, at least a portion of what was written in that letter with your name on it was true. That he felt a connection to you too, that the exchanged stares weren’t a figment of your imagination; that he saw beyond the obvious, and what he saw was beautiful. In the back of your mind and from a little corner in your heart, you hoped that the handsome boy that you paired up with for your chemistry lab would come forward and defend you any moment now. You had faith that he would do the right thing.

His mocking laughter broke your young heart into a million pieces.

Mark had one of the warmest smiles you had ever laid your eyes on. He accompanied you all the way from the entrance of the company to the small conference room, noticing how lost and fidgety you looked in your nicely ironed clothing. It’s normal to be nervous for your interview, he assured you, his sweetness almost shocking you. He even offered to show you around the company before you start.

Mark had a good reputation. That much was obvious, even on your first meeting. And not only that. He cared about said reputation. It was more than what was expected of him as the second HR manager in the company. Unlike Jaehyun, who was suffocating from people’s constant attention, Mark gloated in it. He took his time to greet every single coworker he saw on the way, his bright personality matching the shiny silver cross that was spilling out of his tightly buttoned shirt.

But Mark wasn’t the biggest of your worries. The small conference room where the interview was held had one singular thing that made you extremely uneasy. It wasn’t the uncomfortable plastic chair, nor the cool air-conditioning stream of air that spread goosebumps all over your arms. It wasn’t even the way that Mark’s swift gaze would jump back and forth from your CV to your legs, quickly so as not to catch him. It was Chief Financial Officer Kim Doyoung, co-founder of Suh Enterprises.

What surprised you the most about Doyoung was the fact that he barely laid his eyes on you upon your arrival. When most men barked and begged for your attention, the CFO seemed almost bored of you while listening to you answer Mark’s never-ending questions, a constant peeved look painted on his face. A little fatigued from the interview, your eyes fixated on his lithe fingers, magnetized by the way we swirled a ballpoint pen between them. As if feeling the weight of your stare on his skin, he lifts his own pair of eyes to lock onto you. You don’t break eye contact. You love a little challenge.

“What can I say Doll, you seem perfect for the job!”

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves”, Doyoung interrupts, his tone dragging your hopeful smile off your face. Everything was going well, the interview went as planned, even the forged CV went under their radar. So why did he have to butt in now? “We’re going to need recommendation letters from your previous employers. We don’t hire just anyone in Suh Enterprises.”

You study his face curiously, trying to make out if some sick part of him felt happy for making your life more troublesome than it had to be. You almost hoped he did. At least then you’d see a crack in the emotionless wall that seemed to separate him from the entire world. A light wash of annoyance that Mark couldn’t filter out in time manifested itself on his childlike features. Even though having his toes stepped on by Doyoung ticked him off, he wouldn’t go against his wishes, you know he wouldn’t. It would clash with the image of himself he so desperately wanted to upkeep.

“How about you start working for now, and have the papers ready by the end of the month?”

“Sounds great”, you reply to Mark gratefully, keeping your smile sawed on your face when you turn to Doyoung as well.

It’s just a little bump in the road, you thought. You were too determined to let it set you back.

“This is the second time this week I’ve had to call you to my office.”

It’s hard not to laugh at Mark’s faux austere tone as he rakes his eyes over the entirety of your body. You knew exactly what you were doing this morning, picking a tight pencil skirt to wear that barely passed the company’s dress code. You uncross your legs languidly, Mark’s favorite part of your body, leaving your knees parted slightly to offer a good view. His rounded eyebrows shoot up in the effective movement. The tension in the room is almost suffocating.

“It’s almost as if you missed me.”

One might think that Mark would be embarrassed to embark on such activities with you in the workplace, especially given the way he chooses to portray himself so righteously. But one good look in his eyes as he catches a glimpse of your bare pussy would convince anyone otherwise. Here’s what you think: the set of morals that we boastfully carve on our armor is often very different from the things we indulge in when no one is watching. Mark is about to prove your theory by drowning himself between your thighs.

“And how convenient that you’d call me in when most of your team is at that meeting.”

Mark gets up from his office chair, walking slowly towards you. He isn’t particularly tall but the way he stands in front of you feels menacing, the fluorescent light above him darkening his expression even more. He touches the side of your face softly, almost tenderly, prodding at the soft skin before moving his fingers more south. His index marks an invisible path all the way from your jawline to your neck, finally stopping at your chest. With impressive dexterity, Mark hoops his finger over the top button of your shirt, loosening it open swiftly. From the way his cheeks are flushed a bright red, you know damn well he wished he could have the rest of the buttons flying across the room as well.

Somehow, the sight of Mark on his knees is even more dangerous. His hands wrap around your calves, starting to massage your muscles slowly on his way to your thighs. The journey feels like forever, and you grab onto a fistful of his hair to keep yourself sane. You know you’re already leaking, how could you not when the young man in front of you starts to bite the soft skin of your inner thighs, licking the marks he’s left behind? His fingers push the fabric that’s still covering your lower body to your hips, staring at your glistening heat like a man starved.

“Please”, you beg, thanking the universe for the frosted glass that sensors the compromised position you’re in from the rest of the office. “I need you.”

Mark licks his lips in anticipation before digging in, hands grabbing onto the softness of your ass and exposing your pussy even more. You let out a sigh of relief when his tongue first comes in contact with your lower lips, spreading your wetness around in figure eights. He teases your entrance then, making you twitch, entering you in small thrusts that have you gasping for air. The vibrations of his own moans stimulate you even more, and he picks up the slick that’s dripping out of you before moving even higher.

You can’t decide if Mark sucking you in his mouth while having to stay silent is more of a torture than it is pleasurable. You bite down a moan as blood starts to accumulate between your legs, chest heaving when he starts to flick his tongue over your clit. Desperate to bring him even closer, you kick off your heels, resting your feet on his broad shoulders. The cold metal of his cross presses against your hot skin, sending shivers down your spine and making you spew out words that are anything but holy.

As if the stimulation isn’t already mind-blowing enough, Mark decides to bury two fingers in your hole. Your hands find his locks immediately, pulling his hair again to overcompensate for the lack of sounds you’re allowed to make. Your lover doesn’t withdraw at the numbing pain on his scalp, if anything it urges him to pump his fingers inside you even faster. Soon enough he finds that spot that has hot tears bubbling up at the corners of your eyes, and he starts to drag his digits against it as if his life depended on it. All while sucking at your sensitive nub. All while having his big brown eyes nailed on you.

“Fuck, ‘m gonna-”

Your body finishes your sentence for you, with Mark still suckling at your messy pussy until you squirt against his lips. He can’t help the smile that forms οver his face, widening even more with every small stream you gush out as you come down from your high. He helps you ride your orgasm out patiently, still licking at your wet skin, and he curses at the alarm of his phone going off, signifying that the meeting is over.

Finally pulling back and resting on his arms, he admires his art; the sight of your body wet, leaking, shaking for him.

It was an image that wouldn’t leave his mind for days. As intense as the smell of freshly cut roses, it insisted on making an appearance on both his conscious and subconscious mind. He couldn’t be sure if what his mind crafted for him was a dream, or a memory, or a memory of a dream, or a dream of a memory. But he knew that it was all Doll.

In his vivid imagination, Mark would grab on your hair, press down on your wet tongue, squeeze the softness of your lower stomach. He’d even spend hours on his bed, in a catatonic state, pondering what you might be doing when you weren’t with him. Were you taking a hot shower? Were you rubbing perfume on the back of your ears? Were you reading your favorite book, murmuring your favorite phrases out loud?

Mark found it hard to keep his mind from fleeting reality when the petals of the bouquet he held reminded him of your skin so much. He allowed himself to get lost in the velvety feeling, taking in a big inhale of the sweet scent before leaving them on your desk. As he closes the door of your office behind him, he tries to picture your reaction when you see his gift, and the thought of your made-up smile eludes him just as he bumps onto someone’s side.

“Haechan.”

“Mark”, the younger man deadpans, never one to bother with honorifics.

“It’s a pretty day today isn’t it?”, the older spews out quickly, reeking of the guilty scent of roses.

“Surprisingly good”, Haechan replies, yet his eyes don’t meet Mark’s. They’re instead glued on the flowers on your desk, like a puzzle piece he twirls around in his hand, wondering where he should fit it. He doesn’t question the stupid excuse Mark uses on him to flee the scene.

The whole thing started to bore him, and he had just decided to return back to his post when a wound up Jung Jaehyun holding two cups of steaming coffee stood in front of him.

“Haechan”, he said with a tightly-lipped smile that didn’t reach his eyes, “what are you doing here?”

“I work here”, was the younger’s typical smart-ass response, the same sarcastic tone that made Jaehyun want to rip his hair out of their follicles.

“I meant outside of Doll’s office.”

“Oh, you know Doll? That’s surprising.”

Disdain dripped from his voice, and Jaehyun gripped the paper coffee cups so hard that the hot liquid they contained started leaking on his hands. Taking a deep breath, he realized he wouldn’t get a serious answer from Haechan, and peeked inside your office through the clear sections of your office’s glass. You weren’t there, but what he saw would shake him harshly.

A bouquet of a dozen red roses sitting prettily on your desk.

“She’s not here yet”, Haechan shrugged as he walked away, clearly unbothered by the presence of the other man and whatever made him look paler than usual.

The coffee on the back of his palm burned a little less than those stupid fucking roses.

“Jaehyun?”

The handsome man turns to you with the most buoyant look you’d ever seen his usually reserved face take.

“Hi”, he said shyly, a little lost in your actual presence. He sees you noticing the coffee cups occupying both of his hands in question, and he quickly hands you one of them. You accept it with a glint in your eyes, cooing a ‘thank you’ his way, and take some tissues from your bag to help him dry out the mess on his hands.

“Why do I always end up cleaning after you, Jaehyunnie?”, you scold him playfully, making him turn beet red at your nickname.

“It’s your fault.”

“How is it my fault?!”

“I can’t stop thinking about you and you make me mess up.”

Your mouth hangs open, mind rushing to come up with an appropriate answer yet you find none, settling on a smile instead.

“Doll, can I ask you a question?”

“Hit me.”

“Is it your birthday today?”

You laugh incredulously, and take a cautious sip of your coffee before answering him.

“Is this a pick-up line or something?”

“Uh n-no”, he stutters, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, “I’m sorry. Can I ask you another question then?”

“Mmm.”

“Will you go out with me to dinner tonight?”

“I’d love to”, you answer immediately, making the question Jaehyun really wanted to ask burn on the tip of his tongue. He decides against it, giving you a time and a place before walking away with a heart full of hope and a knot in his stomach.

The confusion you had over Jaehyun’s question wouldn’t last more than a few seconds.

The bright red of the roses was hard to miss, demanding your attention in the midst of your dull-colored office. You approach the bouquet carefully, almost intimidated by the grassy smell, and notice a small white card hidden in the stems. Careful so as not to get pricked, you pick up the cardboard in your hands, reading through the neat handwriting.

"You are the constant object of my thoughts; my imagination exhausts itself in guessing what you are doing.

-Mark"

Annoyed, you shove the bouquet under your desk, hiding it from prying eyes. Your right index gets eventually pricked in your hastiness, and you put the burning cut in your mouth. You find the last conversation you had with Mark on your phone, typing quickly.

sending roses to my desk isn’t very you, mark

the prude

you’re right, I’m sorry, I couldn’t help myself.

do you like them?

I love them <3

You can’t help but roll your eyes. That surely couldn’t have been the reaction Mark had in mind.

the prude

so when can I see you? Tonight?

no, not tonight

how about in two days time?

the prude

I’ll send something to your place.

Please wear it.

You spin the pretty ring that decorates your left hand around your finger. Mark watches you entranced, eternally entertained by your beauty. The neon clock on the wall behind him creates a halo around his head, and with the cross that always hangs around his neck, you think that finally, Mark has reached his goal. He truly seems like a saint.

Well, at least on the outside.

Apparently, Mark likes to drink, and the thing about liquor is that three sips in and it turns into a truth serum. The high-collared dress he sent you, with the long sleeves and the conservatively long length didn’t look like anything you had in your closet. The abundance of material suffocated you, yet Mark couldn’t take his eyes off of you. You had to admit, however, that the color of the dress matched perfectly the stone in the middle of the ring he also gave you. The gold band that was surrounded by small diamonds looked like something every woman would dream to be proposed with.

You’d practiced that solemn look on your face for an hour before you got here.

“What’s the matter, pretty girl?”

“You know, I gave Mr. Jung the recommendation letters that Kim Doyoung asked for. You weren’t in the office so I figured I’d stop by his desk instead.”

“That’s good”, he chuckles, “That’s why there’s two of us.”

“Can I ask you something? Is he always that cold?”

Mark lifts his eyebrows at the unexpected question, rubbing the hairs of his nape in thought.

“Jaehyun? I don’t remember the last time I’ve ever seen him not smile at somebody.”

“Oh. He must not like me then. Every time he sees me he looks annoyed.”

“That’s weird”, he mutters incredulously. You notice empathetic wrinkles forming between his eyebrows as he starts to rub the top of your hand with his thumb. “Do you want me to talk to him?”

“No, no, it’s okay”, you smile, waving him off. “I don’t want to cause any trouble for you. Besides, if I ever need help from the HR Department I can always come to you.”

“I like that”, Mark remarks, sighing as your face brightens up again. “Let’s forget about work. You look beautiful.”

“Did I do the outfit any justice?”

Mark only chuckles at your question, lifting your left hand off the table and taking a big sip of his drink at the same time. He then brings the beautiful stones to his lips, taking ‘scotch on the “rocks”’ to a whole new metaphorical meaning.

“Have I ever told you that I used to be married?”, he asks, responding to your question with a question. You shake your head negatively. “I met her at church. We would take these long walks together after the service was over. We’d talk about God, and marriage, and having kids together. She loved that ring so much.”

Your finger burns you all of a sudden, but Mark still keeps your hands tightly intertwined. You lift your right index to the collar of the dress that makes you feel more exposed than if you were naked, pulling the fabric away from your throat to breathe. You weren’t sure what was more unsettling: Mark’s ex-wife being summoned through your body or his own twisted nature that unveiled itself in front of your very eyes.

“Do I remind you of her?”

“You have this quality. You remind me of her and every other woman on this planet. It’s like they were all made in your image.”

“Doesn’t that go against your belief system?”

“I don’t know. I can’t tell if you’re Lilith or if I’m just going insane.”

Finally pulling your hand away, you steal the thick glass from his hand, taking a sip and silently telling him to ease up on the drinking.

“What happened? With you and your wife, I mean. You seem like you’d be a very devoted husband. I’m surprised to hear you divorced.”

Mark chuckles darkly. “Imagine my surprise when I saw her in skimpy lingerie on top of my best friend.”

Stealing one more sip of his drink, you come to the conclusion that the tone of his voice is way more bitter than the taste the alcohol leaves over your tastebuds. His expression is calm, like he’s come to terms with the heartbreaking event he recounts, and with the way he stares at your lips you know he’s way more focused on you at the moment. Your eyes catch a glimpse of a vein on his long neck, pulsing wildly at the sight of your lipstick stain on the rim of the glass, wishing it was on his skin instead.

You were ready to blatantly ask him if he did, when a familiar voice from behind you forces your body to jump away from him.

“Am I interrupting?”

Haechan’s interrogatory smirk shot a shiver down your spine. From the few interactions you’ve had with the sharp man, you know very well that he’s already analyzed every single detail in his sight. You and Mark being in this bar alone, drinking. The dress that doesn’t seem like you. His coworker’s body that’s turned solely towards you.

It wasn’t too late for some damage control. You had to step in before Mark said something stupid.

“Of course not!”, you jump in immediately, keeping whatever your date was about to say stuck in his throat. You follow the younger man’s index as it points at both of you incriminatingly.

“Are you two on a date?”

“No”, you say with a smile, “Mark really helped me out with some documents Mr. Kim needed, and I promised him a drink. Wanna join us?”

“N-no”, Haechan responds, thrown off slightly by your quick answer. His eyes jump back and forth from you and Mark, trying to connect the dots that you wished were still too sparse in his mind. You knew he wasn’t dumb enough to be fully satisfied with your rambling, yet whatever you came up with seemed to have worked for now. He says his goodbyes, complimenting you on your choice of drink, and walks off into the chilly night.

You cringe when you look at Mark’s face again. It was the same annoyed expression he had around Doyoung during your interview.

“Why did you lie to him?”

You swallow down the developing lie that was stuck in the back of your tongue. “What?”

“I said, why did you go out of your way to lie to Haechan? Would it be so bad if we were out on a date?”

Breathing out shakily, you move your drink between your hands as you think, the cold glass sweating just as much as you. The tears that start to burn your eyes are mostly real: the physical reaction of you witnessing your plan falling apart.

“How can you accuse me like this?”, you mutter almost inaudibly, body shaking from the emotion that overwhelms you. Your presence is dark now, heavy. So bold that Mark has no other choice but to hang onto every single word that leaves your pretty lips. “I did this for you-”

Your voice forces you to a break, and the hot tears that escape your eyelashes wash over the ring. In an effort to calm you down, Mark tries to reach out for your wrist yet you pull away. “Everyone thinks of you as this high-minded man, way above the petty relationships in the workplace. What would people say if they saw you, who always talks of their unwillingness to date around, with me?”

Truth is, Mark thought he was better than the average person. You weren’t sure whether this was simply a personality trait or a result of the leading position he held in his local church, but you could clearly hear the subtle layer of condescension whenever he talked to you. Feeding into his superiority was the best chance you had at getting back on his good side. Making him feel like he was too good, too holy to be with someone like you.

And it worked.

“No, no, no”, he coos, getting up from his seat to stand next to you. With his hand looping around your waist, he starts to pepper kisses on the back of your palm, the weird looks he’s getting from the people in the bar be damned. “You’re right, I’m sorry. My Dolly, please stay.”

You let him pat away your tears one by one, and when he’s done you reward him with a kiss. You’d be lying to yourself if you said that he didn’t feel good pressed against your side like that. His lips taste like your salty tears, and with the way his tongue is swirling in your mouth, you know he’s craving something sweet.

He leaves a couple of banknotes on the table and escorts you outside until you find his car. You stare at the crosswalk as he leads you with a hand on your waist; those thick white stripes were the place where you actually first met. Did he have the slightest remorse for what he did? For what he made you feel? That night flashes behind your eyelashes like a dream or a memory of some movie you saw years ago.

Mark asks you if everything is okay, pressing his lips against your damp cheeks to comfort you. The headache drilling at your skull made you trip a couple of steps, even though the alcohol running in your bloodstream could be blamed for that as well. You tell him that you just want to be with him, and don’t share another word until you arrive at his place.

For all the speeding Mark did on the road to his apartment, he appeared shockingly patient in front of you. He didn’t rip at your clothes, or shove you on your knees as he did in his dreams. This wasn’t a quickie at work. You were here, and you were his, and he had all night to remind you. He takes one step back to admire you as you stand next to the feet of his bed. The moonlight kisses the few slivers of skin that you’ve left uncovered, and Mark kisses the rest in his imagination. He has finally molded the pretty girl he saw on the reception of the company into the wife he’s always dreamt of having.

And now he’s ready to defile his own creation.

With languid movements, he pushes your hair away from your shoulders, wrapping his arms around your frame. His fingers circle the nape of your neck until they find the zipper that keeps the garment on your body, and the sound of the metal makes you both excited. When the dress finally hits the floor and pools around your ankles, Mark decides to feel around the curves of your body like a blind man. His hands stop at the mound of your ass, kneading at the soft skin. Curious fingers dip past the thin material of your underwear and glide between your lower lips.

You gasp lightly when his pointer grazes your clit momentarily, and Mark takes advantage of your parted lips to dip his tongue in your mouth. Not too satisfied with how he has you wrapped around his finger, you suck lightly at the tip of his tongue, giving him a sneak peek of how your lips would feel wrapped around him. He dips one finger inside your heat in retaliation, swallowing your moans when he drags it out and spreads your wetness everywhere. Just as you thought that he was ready to move on, he inserts another digit inside you, and you quickly hold onto his shoulders before your knees fail you.

“Mark”, is all you can moan out, testing how his name sounds when you sigh it out like that. He seems to love it, picking up the pace as he pumps in and out of you, using his other hand to draw circles over your clit. The way you shake and beg and whimper only seems to urge him on, the sight of you falling into submission via pleasure proving highly addictive for him. When your wetness starts to drip down your thigh Mark can tell you’re getting closer to a climax, especially when he finds that spot inside you that makes his bedroom start to spin. He doesn’t rush you to your orgasm, he even takes the time to pull one of your breasts out of your bra and put it in his mouth, suckling on the soft skin until your nub hardens against his tongue. He lets it out of his mouth with a pop before addressing you.

“Will my Dolly cum for me?”

“Yes”, you sob, digging your fingernails against his shoulder blades as you chase your high.

“So pretty. My little doll. Your face looks so filthy when you cum. Such beautiful features twisting in such a dirty way. Your eyes going white. Your mouth drooling out. Will you show me?”

All it took was one more rub for you to take the exact expression Mark was talking about just a second ago. Your orgasm overtakes you, first warming up your pelvic area and then shooting dopamine all over your body. Numb from all the tension, your legs finally give up, making you kneel in front of the man until your wet pussy comes in contact with the long-forgotten dress on his bedroom floor.

Your head falls forward in exhaustion until your forehead touches his thigh, and that’s when you finally feel his cock throbbing against your face. He rubs his thumb over the dick print as you catch your breath, a low grunt bubbling on the back of his throat. After a moment that felt like an eternity, he finally unbuckles his belt for you, the metallic sound resonating in the room. You stare at the angry member in awe. It’s much bigger than what you remembered, with a big vein across that’s leading to a pretty pink tip. He’s already dripping with precum, your half-naked body preparing him already, and when you take your bra off completely to give him a better view he twitches, elated.

You stick your tongue out invitingly, letting him slap the head of his cock against it a couple of times. He then begins to rub it back and forth on the smooth muscle, mixing the salty precum with your spit. You close your lips around him finally, and he pets the hair on the top of your head lovingly, his hips unmoving. It’s when you start to mewl that he pushes past the rim of your mouth, holding the back of your head steady. He thrusts carefully, examining the soft warmth, then decides to test your gag reflex by pushing his entirety inside you. You stay collected, letting him repeat the motion a couple of times by breathing through your nose, even when it presses against the nicely trimmed hair on the base of his cock.

Your throat begins to burn from the abuse and it forces him out finally, a string of spit catching the moonlight and connecting you still. Mark carefully collects the teardrops from the corner of your eyelids with his thumb, along with some drool from your lips, and pushes it all inside your mouth, cleaning you up. You eagerly suck on his thumb in response, doe eyes staring up at him as he bends down to kiss you.

The taste of his manhood on your tongue turns him even harder, his hard-on pressing against your chest that has become wet from all the tears and drool and precum. He kisses you earnestly, romantically almost, prodding at your breasts at the same time. Wanting to please him, you cup your boobs with both your hands, pushing them up and creating fullness. Mark glides easily between them, dragging against your nipples and fucking your decolletage desperately. His moans vibrate against your swollen lips.

“Get on the bed”, he orders simply, helping you up on your feet. You crawl your way on top of his bed, and before you get to ask him how he wants to take you he’s already pressing your back against the mattress.

You help him as he rids himself of the rest of his clothing, taking a moment to appreciate his toned abdomen and the way it cinches so nicely at his waist. The only thing left on his body is his silver cross, hanging over his sternum.

Desperate for him to fill you up again, you part your thighs widely as an invitation. Mark swears under his breath, the word sounding foreign in his voice, and you notice a type of darkness in his eyes that you can only see when you’re alone with him and naked. Leaning his body forward, he reaches a condom from his bedside table, ripping the foil wrapper open with his teeth. Silently offering your help, you take the rubber from his hands, jerking him a bit after wrapping it around his member. The cold metal of the ring against his dick sends shivers down his spine.

“Ready?”, he asks and you nod, watching him piously as he slides himself over your folds again and again. Growing impatient, he grabs the base of his cock, pushing it down until he finally enters you. You gasp, throwing your head back at the stretch, and your eyes shut tight until the numb pain turns into liquid pleasure.

“Faster”, you plead and he listens, letting his body fall over you. His elbows are positioned next to your head, veiny arms supporting his weight as his hips propel him forward. Your moans grow louder in intensity the harder he snaps his hips against you, sounds of skin slapping skin making your face feel hot. You could already tell from the great condition his body’s in, yet you’re still surprised at his stamina. He stops only for a second, readjusting himself in a new angle, and you take the moment to lose yourself in his pretty features. His high cheekbones, his starry eyes, his sculpted lips. For a moment you think that, if Mark wasn’t so caught up in the search of his own selfish idea of the divine, he truly looked like someone you could fall in love with.

But then he hits against your cervix in a way that turns every thought of love into unadulterated lust.

“Oh my god”, you moan out, and in a moment of pure irony, you feel Mark’s cross hitting against your chin. Your thoughts melt into one another, unable to exist independently inside your head when Mark is so fucking big and so fucking good at what he’s doing. Needing to hold onto something before you spiral into insanity, you reach out for his neck, yet your partner is quick enough to pin both your wrists over your head, continuing his bruising pace.

“I’m gonna cum”, he whispers as he leaves a kiss over your right earlobe, hips moving even faster for a few seconds before he collapses on top of you. The whines of his climax are high-pitched and airy, transitioning into a sigh as he twitches and throbs inside you, filling up the condom.

You exchange heaving breaths in silence for a while until Mark finds the strength to roll himself off of you. He stands up then, discarding the condom and checking you out from the full-body mirror next to his bed. You meet each other’s eyes through the reflection, admiring the way the other looks bathed in the after-sex glow.

Mark has a soft smile on his face when he approaches you again, kissing your jeweled hand as if this is the first night you spend together in your honeymoon suite. Three words are painted on his lips but he knows better than saying them out loud.

They fit the occasion perfectly in his fantasy but in the realm of reality, they’re catastrophic.

hope you liked the third part of the series!

let me know here if you want to be part of the taglist to not miss what happens next if you haven’t already!

#neohub #neowritingsnet #mark lee smut #nct smut #mark lee #nct 127 smut #mark lee scenarios #mark lee x reader #mark lee x y/n #mark lee angst #nct angst #nct fluff #mark lee fluff #mark lee fanfic #mark lee fic #mark lee imagines #mark lee au #nct au #nct 127

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theje0ngs · 2 years

Text

JJH | 𝙋𝘼𝙐𝘽𝘼𝙔𝘼

PAUBAYA (n.): to entrust something to someone; to give something or someone away.

❝Ako yung nauna, I was your first, Pero siya ang wakas. But they will be your last.❞

PAIRING/CHARACTERS ▸ non-idol!jaehyun x pedia!reader

GENRE/CATEGORY ▸ angst, marriage!au, non-idol!au, songfic

WORD COUNT ▸ 4.2k [~15 mins]

CONTENT WARNINGS ▸ mentions injections/vaccinations, mentions death/minor character death, mentions pregnancy, profanity, jaehyun didn’t know he had a kid

GELA SAYS ▸ first and foremost, thank u so much @hwangful for sending me this amazing & sad prompt! idk if i’ve reached ur expectations bc tbh, i feel like i’ve rushed this- :/ but!! i hope you’ll like it

TAGLIST ▸ @woofie-nctzen-fanarts @bitchenderyy @ahtisa02 @chitaphrrrr @sakusakei-omi @guiltyversion @littlebambi1302 @ashkuuuu

Back in college, you hated Jeong Jaehyun.

You still remember the exact reason- no, reasons why you hated that man. Reason number one: Jaehyun bumped into you while you were walking in the hallway. He was chasing somebody and due to the strong impact, you fell on the floor and spilled the coffee that Doctor Park had asked you to buy for him. He didn’t look back, nor apologized for hurting you.

Number two: The time he accidentally hit your head with a basketball. You happened to be talking with one of his teammates, Johnny Suh when the ball flew right to your head. He blamed Mark for that, but you were a firm believer that he was the one who did it.

Number three: The time when you got paired up for a semestral worksheet. You tried to plead to your professor to change your partner, even tried to convince him that you’d do the worksheet alone but no really meant no for your professor. You had to sit next to class for the whole semester, he would annoy you with his corny, cringey jokes every morning before your lecture.

You had a list of reasons, even petty ones, why you hated that man, but you had only one reason why you fell in love with him.

During the university fall festival, you and Jaehyun became victims. The organization under the Department of Criminology had handcuffed the two of you for 4 hours. You were annoyed by the fact that Jaehyun almost went inside the restroom with you because he really needed to pee. Thank god he didn’t, thank god you were friends with one of the criminology students and had removed the cuff for a few minutes. After he finished inside the restroom, you were cuffed together again - it was the last hour and frankly, you were looking forward to finishing it.

He had pulled you to the Ferris Wheel line, explaining that riding it while the sun goes down would be an amazing experience. It was the time that you realized… he wasn’t as bad as you thought he was. It was the time you realized that you fell in love with this man. So suddenly that even you, yourself, weren’t expecting it.

“Look at the sun, Y/N-” Jaehyun excitedly said, pointing at the sky. His legs were bouncing like a kid who got ice cream.

“I think I’m in love with you.” You blurted out, “I- I mean, yeah. It’s beautiful! Super beautiful.”

You avoided Jaehyun for a whole month after that accidental confession.

And now, as you stare at the wedding picture sitting next to your laptop, the two of you have been together through ups and downs. Been together since university through Med School and Law School. Built dreams and achieved those together. You as a Doctor of Pediatrics, and Jaehyun, as a Lawyer and working under a known firm. Together for 8 years, married for two and living the life you have always wanted to.

Being a pediatrician wasn’t your original plan. To be a Cardiologist was your dream. But during your residency, you had one patient that caught your heart. She was a 4-year old girl who dreamed of being a doctor, but fate took away that chance when her parents found out that she was suffering from a terminal illness. She was under your care for months. You still remember the day she passed away so clearly. You were on graveyard shift and for the past 24 hours you have been walking around the hospital. Following the command of the senior residents, and the only hour you had a chance to nap, you heard a loud bawl, causing you to jolt up from the stretcher you were resting on.

It was the first time you cried over a patient inside the locker room that day and every time you pass by the room she used to stay at, you couldn’t help but wince.

But despite what happened, you learned how to love your job.

“Dr. Y/L/N? The patient is here.” The nurse peeked her head through the door, you nodded your head and put your phone away.

The patient enters with her mom, she was probably a little over 8 years old. “What can I do for you today?” You ask, grabbing a pen and started writing.

“We’re new in town, and unfortunately, our neighbor’s dog bit her this morning when we were out for a walk. The neighbor said that the dog is vaccinated with anti-rabies, but still, I want to be safe. Just in case.”

You gave her a warm smile, understanding that she didn’t want anything bad to happen to her daughter. As you get ready, the little girl seemed to be nervous. But as a pediatrician, you knew the drill. You were used to comforting your patients no matter what age they were. A smile appeared on your face when you heard the little girl tell her mom that she won’t cry because she’s a big girl, and that big girls don’t cry over a little needle. After giving her a shot, you grabbed a peach-flavored lollipop on the jar next to your computer. She smiles from ear to ear, revealing her deep set of dimples. What a beautiful kid.

After reminding her mom that Jaein needs to return three days later for another shot, you walk them out of your office. When you opened the door, you were surprised by your husband. Standing in front of the office with a bag of takeaways. Jaehyun’s smile fades when he sees your patient’s mom, his eyes widened.

“Nayoung?” “Jaehyun?” They said in sync.

“You two know each other? What a small world!”

Nayoung shyly nodded her head, “Yeah… we were friends in high school up until university.” She said, holding her daughter’s hand tightly. “Well, my daughter and I have to go. Dr. Y/N, thank you very much. We’ll see you in three days.”

A week has passed and Jaehyun felt uneasy inside his office.

He kept walking back and forth inside his office, he even discarded his tie as it felt suffocating for him. Since he saw his ex, who happens to be the parent of your patient, he was anxious. The last time he saw Nayoung was the year before you started dating, the year she left for Australia. It was 9 years ago and they lost contact with each other since then. The two had a clean breakup, no fights, no anger towards each other. The decision was mutual and Jaehyun was sure that there were no issues with each other.

But seeing her with a child made Jaehyun think twice. Did she cheat while they were still together? Most likely. Because that kid was almost 9 and she was as old as the last time he saw Nayoung. Jaehyun felt like he was going insane; most people would say forget about it, it’s all in the past but no, Nayoung was his first love, his first girlfriend and he needed answers. He grabbed his phone, opened his Instagram account and tried to find his ex lover’s account. In the span of 5 minutes, he found it.

[PHOTO] @nayoung.lee: Back in Korea! Jaein’s a little nervous but I’m glad she’s starting to love this place.

[PHOTO] @nayoung.lee: Can’t believe my baby’s 8 years old… it seems like yesterday, I was holding you in my arms like a small bean.

Fuck it. He thought, clicking the message button.

Jaehyun found himself in a park, at 8 o’ clock in the morning, Nayoung said it was closer to her job. He was still in shock that his ex-girlfriend replied to his message, even agreed to meet him personally. He sat on the bench, enjoying the fresh air and the amazing view of various flowers. He felt uneasy again, his leg was bouncing up and down as he waited for Nayoung. When he spots her walking towards his direction, he stands up.

“Why did you want to talk, Jaehyun?” Nayoung asked, sitting next to him.

“I- uh, nothing. I just wanted to catch up with you.”

Nayoung chuckles, she knew her like the back of her hand. His red ears screamed that he was nervous, flustered and lying. At first, they talked about their lives and the things that happened the past nine years. Jaehyun found out that Nayoung was an architect who moved to Korea from Australia for a major project by the company she was working at. Nayoung was stationed in Korea for a year and a few months. As they continue to talk about their lives, somehow, Nayoung convinced Jaehyun to tell her the truth on why he had asked her to meet up. Jaehyun was not able to answer at first, even tried to make up a terrible excuse but ended up confessing the truth.

“Your daughter, Jaein… is she-”

“She’s yours, Jaehyun.” She replied bluntly, looking at the sky, “I didn’t know I had her, to be honest. I was just randomly chilling with my friends at home when I felt a random, excruciatingly bad pain on my stomach. The next thing I was told by the doctor was, I had a cryptic pregnancy with Dahlia.”

“Dahlia?”

“Her real name is Lee Jaein, I call her Dahlia because it's her english name and it was the flower you gave me on our first date.” She explained, “I know you’re still in shock right now but… the reason why I hid her from you is because I didn’t know how to tell it to you, I didn’t want you to think that I cheated. Frankly, even before her I knew your plans about your future, your plans about law school. A responsibility like Dahlia could’ve been a huge distraction to your studies.”

Jaehyun shook his head in disbelief, all these years… he didn’t know he had a child. How was he supposed to tell you this? To his parents? To his in-laws?

“Nayoung, you should’ve at least told me! I had every right to know.”

“I was supposed to tell you, Jaehyun. Three years ago when Dahlia asked me about you- I wanted to contact you… my sister was the one who found your Instagram account but by the time I was ready to tell you, you posted a picture of your engagement with Dr. Y/N.” She said, “I was even shocked that the pedia at the nearby hospital was your wife… I saw the picture she kept by her computer.”

After explaining each other’s side, the two separated ways. Nayoung agreed for the two to have a scheduled DNA testing the following day, to make sure if Dahlia really was his. As he drove back home, thoughts clouded Jaehyun’s mind. How would you react? What would you say? Just as he stopped at the red light, he received a message from you.

loml ♡: hey handsome! got out of work a lil early today, i’m preparing dinner. could you grab some wine on your way home, please?

jaehyun: of course, love! i’m on my way back to the office. be home in a few hours.

He wasn’t able to work properly that day. His mind was elsewhere throughout the day. By the time everybody else was getting ready to go home, he decided to stay at his office for another hour. Not to work, but to practice what he will tell you later. He found it silly; he was a lawyer who fought big cases, a man who isn’t nervous when he’s in the court, a man who had a strong, intimidating image to his colleagues. But how come he’s nervous about what he was about to tell you? Damn it, Jaehyun. Get your shit together, man. He thought, grabbing his belongings and headed home.

Jaehyun could smell the aroma of the food you were making as soon as he opened the door of your apartment. He could hear Chet Baker playing in the background. The moment he placed the wine on the counter, he wraps his arms around you instinctively. You jumped by the sudden skinship, but immediately calmed down in his arms. He planted a kiss on the top of your head as he listened to you talk about how your day went.

”I have something important to tell you.” You both say in-sync, you let out a giggle, while Jaehyun was stunned.

“You go first, Jae. I’ve been talking about my day too much since you came home.” You said, pouring wine on his glass. “Go ahead, I’m listening.”

“What I’m about to tell you is pretty big, so.. I’m kind of hoping that you’ll react nicely.” He started, “Remember when I surprised you last week at the clinic? I met an old friend from university?”

“Oh, Ms. Nayoung Lee? Yeah, I remember her. Her daughter's on her next shot this week-”

“Jaein’s my daughter.” He cuts off, “N-nayoung is my ex-girlfriend, she’s the one before you… I just found out about Jaein’s existence today and we’re set to take a DNA test tomorrow.”

How does one react when a significant other tells them that they have a child… from another person and not them?

Because that’s exactly what’s happening right now.

Happy? Angry? Sad? How are you supposed to act after he told you that his ex - the one before you, told him that they have a child together? You sat across Jaehyun on the dining table, the platter of food you prepared the whole day was long forgotten at this point. Your mind couldn’t process what your husband just said; “S-say something, please.” He said, his voice so low, it was almost a whisper.

“You can’t just… you can’t do this to me, Jaehyun.” You say, biting your lip. “You can’t tell me news this big and expect me to react in a nice way.”

“Y/N, even if the test results come out and- and it turns out that I really am the father. It doesn’t change anything between us, I promise.”

Jaehyun tried to hold your hand, but you were fast enough to pull it away from him. You stood up and left the dining room, heading straight to the shared bedroom and locked yourself inside. You had every right to be upset, and Jaehyun would let you calm yourself down and he’s sure you’re willing to talk about this thing once you’re ready. He wouldn’t force you to talk about it.

On the other hand, you were under the covers, crying your eyes out. He was expecting you to react nicely. How would you react to something like that? You love kids, why would you be working for pediatrics if you didn’t? But you… you were told that your chances of getting pregnant was low. Despite that, you and Jaehyun never stopped trying, because it was part of your plan and dream together. A child of your own, a child with the DNA of you two.

Will those dreams come true, or will they remain as a dream?

Weeks have passed and it was confirmed that Jaehyun was the biological father of Jaein. The two started going out on father-daughter dates, getting to know each other as Jaehyun missed 9 years of his daughter's life. You and Jaehyun have talked about it a few days after a silent war between the two of you. On Jaein’s last anti-rabies shot, Jaehyun volunteered to take her to your clinic. He was comforting her throughout the process, which made you realize that he was a good father. It’s been only weeks since Jaein experienced a father figure in her life, but he immediately gained her trust.

When Nayoung had to return to Australia for a week due to an emergency at work, Jaein was staying at your place. It was okay, she didn’t have any family in the country but Jaehyun. The two spent the whole week out on dates again, while you distracted yourself at work. Though you felt like Jaein was aloof when it comes to you, you understood her. The little girl was too young to understand that her dad was married to another woman and not her mom. There were days that she may have stepped over the line by saying some hurtful words, but you try to be a good stepmom to her as much as possible, when Jaehyun’s not around and you were left with her at home, you try your best to let her know that she’s more than welcome to your home. You didn’t want her to feel like a stranger, even if the two of you are not blood-related.

Today, after volunteer work, you came home only to see Jaehyun and Jaein snuggled on the couch while the TV played Disney movies in the background. It was past 10 in the evening, an hour since Jaein’s bedtime. You put away your belongings and woke Jaehyun up, carefully as you didn’t want to wake his daughter.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t notice we fell asleep. Let me put her to bed and I’ll heat the food for you.” He said, gently replacing a throw pillow on Jaein’s head that was resting on his lap.

“No, no, it’s okay. I had dinner with some of my colleagues, go ahead, get ready to sleep. I’ll put her to bed.”

You scooped Jaein out of the couch with the help of your husband. As you placed her on the bed, you noticed the similarities of her face and Jaehyun’s. She had his dimples, pink lips and bushy brows. You couldn’t help but smile and feel a little sad at the same time. You dreamed of having a child with Jaehyun as well, part him, part you. Such a beautiful kid, you really look like your dad. You thought, brushing away the strands of hair that fell on her face. After tucking her to bed, you took a shower and sat down on the floor with a glass of wine in your hand. Jaehyun was busy replying to some emails from his clients and noticed that you were spacing out as you played with the hem of your shirt.

Jaehyun sighs, he was calling you five times already but you were ignoring him. He closed his laptop and sat on the floor with you, “Do you want to talk about what’s bothering you these days?” He asked, taking your hand and intertwined it with his.

You shook your head, “No, I just- it's just work. Nothing special about it.” You said, removing your hand from his. You hated yourself for shutting people out whenever they’re trying to talk to you about your problems. You and Jaehyun have always promised each other to never keep secrets from each other, but this time you decided to keep something to yourself because you were scared of what he will say if he finds out about it.

Before Nayoung left Korea, she bumped into you at a diner near the venue of your volunteer workplace. You were on lunch break and so was her. She had asked you to eat lunch with her which you accepted. It was going on so well until;

“I have always wanted Jaein to meet Jaehyun, I wanted her to experience a complete family because I couldn’t experience it myself.” She chuckled, “If it weren’t for my sister who told me I was being ridiculous, I could’ve flown back here to stop your wedding because I knew deep down, I still love Jaehyun. Until now, actually.”

You were taken aback, “But… I couldn’t do anything to stop that wedding because I would’ve been the petty ex.” She added. “Thanks for giving him a chance to be a father to Jaein. Though I know that Jaein’s having a hard time accepting you as her stepmom. You don’t know how much I appreciate it.”

Suddenly, you realized, the quote ‘first love never dies’ might actually be true. You noticed it actually. The way Jaehyun would look at her whenever she picks up Jaein at your place. The same way Jaehyun would look at you at the beginning of your relationship. Heart eyes and ear-to-ear smiles.

You sighed, “Jae, I’m sorry.”

“Hmm? For what?”

“I know how badly you wanted to be a dad a-and I have a low chance of getting pregnant, and we’ve been trying so hard but still… nothing.” You mumbled, “Then Jaein came along and you just looked so happy around her. I- I don’t want to be a hindrance to your relationship with her and her mom.”

“What do you mean?”

“Jaein deserves a complete family. She’s… she’s too young to understand the concept of our family. They need you more than I need you.”

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“Yes.”

The sound of happy kids running around the campus and the blasting music reminds Jaehyun of the time you told him you fell in love with him at one fall festival a few years back. Oh memories… It’s been three years since you and Jaehyun parted ways. The first few months without you was hard, he was trying his best to be happy. While you volunteered to different organizations across the country. You learned to love yourself and moved on from everything that happened. Jaehyun had forgiven you, and you forgave him. Agreeing that everything was and should be in the past now.

He had lost contact with you. Though the two of you are still living in the same city, he barely saw you around. An epitome of the idiom ‘so near, yet so far’. You were either busy with work, or out of the country for a volunteer job. Jaehyun was peacefully chilling by the picnic tables, watching the kids run around when he got a glimpse of someone who looked just like you. He shook his head, thinking that maybe it was just an illusion.

“Y/N?”

You turn around, finding the familiar voice that called you. You felt the chills when you heard him. Standing tall and proud, Jeong Jaehyun. He looked different the last time you saw him. He became much manlier, much bulkier. The man you thought you were spending your lifetime with was standing in front of you once again, not in the altar this time. But in a school family event. It was so clear that Jaehyun was surprised to see you around.

“What are you doing here?” He asked.

“Oh, I’m here for-”

“MOM! LOOK WHAT I GOT AT THAT SHOTGUN GAME! A WOOKIE STUFFED TOY!” A little boy excitedly said, jumping as he held the toy in his hands. “Can I play again? Is it okay?”

You nodded your head, “Go and have fun, Hyun. Be back in a few minutes, okay?”

The boy, who Jaehyun guessed was around 10 years old, nodded his head and ran back to his friends, leaving you and your ex-husband alone again. Jaehyun sat in front of you, a little confused about what just happened and was waiting for an explanation.

“You’re a mom now.”

“Yeah.” You smiled, “Taehyun’s my… he’s my son. I adopted him at the orphanage I volunteered for the year after we split up. He was 7 when I got him.”

Jaehyun looked through your eyes, like he always did because he believed that your eyes were very expressive. No remnants of sadness, but pure happiness. He could see it very clearly. You asked questions about his life, asking how Nayoung and Jaein were doing.

“Enough about me and Jaein. What about you? I noticed a ring on your finger, seems like there’s someone new?”

You chuckle, “I’m doing good actually, and yes. There is.” You answer, looking at the ring that rests on your finger. “He’s a doctor, we met during a hospital outreach program in Jeju.”

“Congratulations, Y/N. You deserve him.” Jaehyun smiled, “Since you’re both doctors- the wedding must be a huge one.”

“No, we’re keeping it simple. Only a few friends and family members. An intimate one.” You replied, “...we didn’t want to stress the baby and put them at risk.”

“Y-you’re pregnant... wow. Congratulations.”

“Mhm, three months now. Thank you.”

Jaehyun was about to reply when a man suddenly planted a kiss on top of your head and placed a bag of food on the table, “Hey, love. I’m sorry if I’m late, the line at the drive-thru was too long.” He said, “Oh, hello- Jaehyun, right? I’m Dr. Kim Doyoung, Y/N’s fiancé.”

The two men exchanged ‘nice to meet you’ to each other, and Jaehyun left soon enough after Taehyun returned. He looked back at you, you were smiling as your fiance tried to offer you a spoonful of strawberry cake. When you met his eyes, you waved him goodbye and mouthed ‘thank you’ before focusing on Doyoung and Taehyun again. Jaehyun smiled back. She’s happy and she deserves it, he thought.

“Dad, Mom got us some fruit!” He heard Jaein say.

You look at Jaehyun on the other end, he was smiling as he listened to Jaein. He’s happy and he deserves it. You thought.

Mahirap labanan ang tinadhana,

I can’t go against your destiny,

Pinapatawad,

But I forgive you,

Pinapalaya,

I’m setting you free,

Pinapaubaya ko na sa kanya.

I’m letting you go and entrusting everything to them.

DO NOT REPOST OR TRANSLATE.