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farfromstrange · 3 months

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Sub!matt idea. Sensory deprivation.

It can be common as a way of control, heighten the experiance or even to help calm and sooth to blindfold your partner and make them rely on other senses. But for Matt he already has this to the extreme which can be distracting able to hear three blocks away when all he wants to focus on is you his world in this moment.

After a day of honestly tiring input he just asks for you to take over he somtimes does that wanting someone else to control him for a while and he trusts you. And trusts you enough to fuck you with his hearing either gone or reduced only able to feel, smell and taste you which is more then enough. Esspecially when you focus on the touch lavishing his body with sensory your hands never off him roaming, soothing holding. Your lips almost always on him kissing, sucking biting anything to elicit the sweet groans of him. He keeps a hand on your chest or throat not controlling but to be able to sense your rumbling groans and soft sighs feel the uptick in your heart rate as he focuses on you and only you

I am SO sorry that this took so long! And when I finally started writing it, I got carried away, so it took me two whole days to finish. But I wanted it to be good enough after I left you hanging.

On that note, your smutty thoughts make me feral!! Not gonna lie, I sat in my lecture the other day and I couldn't stop thinking about this, which is why this turned out to be over 4k words. On this page, we celebrate sub!Matt and all that comes with him!

Thank you so much for your request, and I hope I could do it justice <3

Sensory Deprivation | Matt Murdock x afab!Reader

Masterlist

Pairing: Matt Murdock x afab!Reader

Summary: The world tends to get a bit loud, but thankfully, you're there to help Matt focus.

Warnings: SMUT (18+ MINORS DNI), sub!Matt, use of "good boy", oral m!receiving, swallowing, use of earplugs (sensory deprivation), Matt's catholic guilt, slight blasphemy, (almost) coming untouched, mention & use of safe word/action

Word Count: 4.4k

A/n: I'm so horny for this man, I can't function. Also, even though I did proofread this, I'm not sure if I missed any mistakes. My brain doesn't function as well as it used to. I'm sorry in advance.

More than anyone in this world, Matt believes he has to function, always, and without exceptions. He believes that he has to be useful, always doing something and never resting. His heightened senses make it impossible for him to turn his back on even the most minuscule cases of injustice, and he still beats himself up time and time again because he can’t be everywhere at once. He hears everything, smells everything, and feels the despair in the air, but in the end, he can’t take on the weight of the world all by himself.

Ever since he met you, you have become his reprieve. You’re the haven he returns home to when everything gets just a little too much. When his senses are flooded and his heart is heavy. He crawls to you when he’s wounded, and he would crawl to you if he only had a few more minutes to live. You’re the first person he thinks of when he wakes up, and the last person he thinks of when he goes to sleep at night, preferably holding you in his arms to make sure that you won’t slip away from him. In you, he has found someone who would never judge him for who he is. Someone who will always stand by his side proudly, and someone who will hold him when he’s at his weakest. And he has been hanging off the edge of his breaking point for quite some time, holding on for dear life.

You can tell Matt must have had an awful day from the second the key turns in the lock to your shared apartment. His feet drag over the wooden floorboards as he makes his way inside. You look up from your book.

Matt takes a deep breath, dropping his bag by the door. His shoulders are tense. He folds his cane, places it aside, and removes the red glasses you’ve grown to love—but you don’t nearly love them as much as his beautiful brown eyes, the green specks so distinctive, you could recognize them anywhere.

“Rough day?” you ask.

He opens the first button of his dress shirt with shaky fingers. “Yeah. I don’t wanna talk about it,” he says.

He hasn’t said hi to you like he usually would. Tonight seems to be one of those nights again. You know Matt well enough to pick up on the subtle clues in his behavior. He’s overwhelmed, possibly even anxious, and the weight he always carries on his shoulders is threatening to crush him. He’s walking a very thin tightrope, and he’s about to fall off.

You place your book on the coffee table and straighten up. He rounds the couch you’re sitting on, his unfocused eyes searching for you. Your heartbeat resonates in his ears. Your breathing is regular. You’re calm. You’re his rock. You won’t let him drown, no matter how strong the current is that is dragging him down.

Raising your eyebrows, you look up at him when he stops right in front of you. “No hello kiss?” you dare to ask. It’s a soft question, a little teasing, but he knows you mean well.

Matt shakes his head. As soon as he breathes you in, he’s done for. His brain cells fry on the electric chair of his mind. His heart starts beating up to his throat. You’re so close yet so far away. You smell incredible; you must have showered after work, and then you sat down with your favorite tea and read your favorite book while waiting for him so you could have dinner together. You’re so considerate, you even used his scentless soap so all he would be able to smell is your natural scent. You consume him. The city moves into the background, and the bricks are about to fall off his shoulders. He’s close to collapsing, falling on his knees and begging you to take control to just make him forget, but he isn’t quite there yet.

A car honks in the distance. The night is calling for him. His hand clenches into a fist at his side while the other rests flat against his thigh.

You slowly rise from your position. “Matthew,” you breathe his name like a siren. “What do you need?”

He sniffs. His fingers twitch. He has to go out, but he can’t. You envelop him in a bubble, and it makes him feel like he isn’t alone. Like he isn’t trapped. Like he can finally let go after holding on for so long.

“Talk to me,” you say.

His tongue darts out to wet his bottom lip. “There was so much noise,” Matt whispers back. “I couldn’t… I couldn’t focus. I’m trying to stay in control, but I can’t focus, and—” He breaks off into a shaky sigh.

You chase his eyes; they’re glossed over. You reach out to tilt his chin in your direction. His eyes flutter closed. A stray tear slips down his cheek. It’s a tear stemming from months of exhaustion, physical pain, and emotional turmoil. He tried to push through, but he’s arrived at a point of no return. He’s breaking, and you’re the only one capable of catching him.

After another deep breath, Matt’s eyes open again. “You’re here,” his voice is still barely above a whisper, but the smile that starts to grow on his lips speaks the language of relief.

“I’m always here,” you answer.

“You keep me sane.”

“I know.”

“I’m sorry I’ve been distant.”

“I also know that, but it doesn’t matter. I know how hard it is for you. If you need to be distant for a while and then blow off some steam, I’m okay with it.”

He shudders when your fingers brush his cheek. The faint bruise underneath his eye has turned green. You trace the injury with gentle fingertips.

“What did I do to deserve you?” he says.

You smile back at him, knowing he can feel it, and you guide him toward your face. “You exist,” you tell him. “That’s enough for you to deserve me.”

His nose brushes against yours, but before his lips can meet yours, he stops. He inhales your scent. He feels your pulse under his fingers from where he’s wrapped them around your wrist. Your skin feels so soft against his. He’s no longer on fire. The world is no longer on fire. He can let go. He wants to know that it’s okay to let go, but the voice in his head is telling him to stop. The crossroads he finds himself at won’t let him leave in the direction he wants to go.

You can feel his inner turmoil. He’s holding back. He always does so. You’ve been together for what feels like forever, and he still doesn’t know how to ask for what he wants. What he needs. What he deserves. You told him to be primal when he needs to be. You told him to admit when you need to take over. He never does it out of his own free will. He waits until you force him into submission.

Tonight should be the night he finally tells you. Matt needs to learn that his needs matter just as much as yours. His catholicism can go to hell for all you care.

“I need—” He swallows. “I-I need t—”

“Go ahead,” you urge him.

“Ugh,” the sound resembles a broken growl. And then, the barriers finally break. “I need you to take over,” he begs. “I need you to help me breathe again, sweetheart. Please. I need you.”

God, he sounds so wrecked.

“You want me to take control?” you ask to clarify.

He nods. “Yes.”

“Okay. Good boy. I can do that.”

Matt’s lips part in a weak whimper in response to your praise. Calling him a ‘good boy’ always has the same welcome effect. You don’t even have to look down to know that his cock is slowly swelling in his slacks.

All the blood has rushed from his head and his beautiful rosy, stubbly cheeks to his groin. It doesn’t take much to turn him on, especially not in his current state—especially not if it’s you.

Hearing him admit that he needs you like this makes you feel a myriad of emotions. You want to take care of him, you want to love him, and you want to give him a moment of peace amongst the constant chaos, but there is also something so arousingly erotic about the way he begs for you to take control that makes your thighs clench.

Often enough, he is the one taking care of you. Matt is a giver, not a taker. He always puts you first, but on some days, he just can’t bear it anymore. And you couldn’t possibly ask him to take charge in bed in his current state. It would break him. He’s a vulnerable man, whether he likes to admit it or not, and he can be as fragile as an ancient vase. You have to handle him with care on those days, which is all you intend to do as you guide him to your shared bedroom.

You gently urge him to sit down on the bed. “Do you trust me?” you ask.

His unfocused eyes flick from one side to the other. “Always,” he breathes out.

“Good. Lie back for me. I’m going to take such good care of you, I promise.”

He would never doubt that.

You climb into his lap, and finally, you kiss him. His lips part slightly in a desperate groan. Before he can slide his tongue into your mouth though, you pull away. His grabby hands are already resting on your hips, wandering, and wandering, and…

“Nuh-uh,” you tell him, taking hold of his calloused fingers and placing them on your upper thighs. “Patience, baby.”

“Please,” Matt begs. You love it when he begs. He’s completely putty in your hands. You could tell him to get on his knees and pray, and he would, no matter how blasphemous it may be.

He’s holding onto you for dear life. You place his hand against the left side of your chest, allowing him to feel your heartbeat. He isn’t leaving you cold. He never does. Alone the sight of him is enough to make your thighs clench with need, but straddling him, you can’t get the friction you need.

You reach for the nightstand to your right, opening the drawer. You know exactly what he needs. “Turn your head for me,” you murmur.

Matt follows your instructions without questioning them. Finally finding what you were looking for, you retrieve the earplugs from the bedside drawer. This isn’t the first time you have used them on him, or he has used them on you. The specific brand renders you almost entirely deaf and renders Matt’s enhanced hearing almost to an entirely normal level.

You gently put the first plug into his left ear, then the other into his right. Before you push it in though, you ask, “Do you remember our safeword?”

He nods. “Red,” he says.

“Good boy. And when you can’t speak?”

“Tap your wrist three times.” His lips curl up into a weak smile. “Usually, I’m the one asking you that.”

“Not tonight, you aren’t. May I put this in now?” You tap the earplug.

He nods again. It’s all the confirmation you need before inserting it, reducing his hearing completely. He lets out a sigh of relief. He closes his eyes, and you know he’s trying not to cry.

“Are you sure you’re up for this?” you ask, cradling his cheek. His stubble scratches your fingertips, but it’s a welcome pain.

He can still hear what you’re saying, feel the vibrations in your chest from where his hand is resting, and he smells you so much clearer now that he no longer has to listen to the city screaming at him in the background. Your arousal gets stuck to the tiny hairs in his nose, and he inhales sharply. Every nerve in his body is on fire.

Matt moans. His tongue darts out, tasting the air. For a moment, he forgets that you just asked for his consent. Everything is so much more intense, yet it isn’t nearly enough.

“Matthew,” you nudge him. “Talk to me.”

“Yes,” he whispers. At least he thinks he’s whispering.

You smile, seemingly satisfied with his answer, and then you lean down to kiss him again. This time, you let him push his tongue into your mouth, tasting you, feeling you, and consuming all of you. He wants every ounce of you ingrained in his mind forever.

His hands slide under your shirt, feeling the warmth of your skin. His focus is on you entirely. You help him take the pesky piece of fabric off, followed by his own. He’s suddenly so hot.

Your teeth clash when you kiss. His cock is hard as a rock, pressing against his lower abdomen. You can feel it between your thighs. It must be painful for him.

His kisses trail from your mouth, down your neck. He tastes the salt on your skin. Your pulse jumps as he drags his tongue over the vein. It’s a primal need. He needs to mark you. He needs to taste you, all of you, and make you his for all the world to see. An animalistic growl escapes his lips. His teeth dig into your skin. He nibbles just enough to make you moan, your chest vibrating underneath his hand. Matt doesn’t even hesitate to grab a handful of your breast, tugging at your sensitive nipple until it’s stiff enough to rival his aching cock.

You throw your head back, your jaw slack, and he uses the newfound space to kiss down to your collarbone. You’re going to be purple and bruised tomorrow, but you don’t care.

With a demanding grip on his hair that pulls at his scalp and causes him to groan against your shoulder, you push his head toward your chest. He isn’t in control, you are, and you know how much he loves to please you.

Like a man starving, he sucks your nipple into his mouth. No, it’s not just your nipple. He takes as much as he can into his mouth, his teeth grazing the sensitive nub only momentarily before he moves on to the rest of your silky skin.

You moan. You have to let him know that you’re enjoying yourself. He feels the sound deep within your chest from where his hand is resting, and the way your breast moves slightly when you moan. Matt only becomes more eager when he feels and smells what he’s doing to you.

The scent of you is addicting. Your arousal smells slightly sour, sometimes slightly metallic, but most of all, it is you. And when he tastes your essence on the tip of his tongue without even licking at your slick folds because you are simply that wet, it makes him feral with this insanely primal need to have you.

He wants to spread you out before him and taste you until you’re coming all over his face. Though today, he is too weak to keep you restrained to the mattress. Matt takes what he can get, what you are willing to give him, and he does so eagerly, like the good boy that he wants to be for you.

With the world silenced, he can focus on you. The way your heart is hammering against your ribcage, right against his palm. The way your chest heaves with every labored breath you take as he sucks and sucks at your breast until your nipple is beyond swollen. He can feel how smooth your skin is, smell the remnants of your body lotion that he sometimes steals so he can smell you everywhere he goes, and the slight sheen of sweat that has started to cover your body from head to toe. And he can smell your arousal so thick in the air, his cock jumps at the mere thought of sinking into your tight walls—of being completely consumed by you, body and soul. He doesn’t need to hear right now, all he needs to do is feel you.

You know about his desperate urge to please. You know that, even while you’re in charge, he wants nothing more than to make you feel good. Matt is anything but selfish. But his selflessness doesn’t have a place in this bedroom tonight.

As crazy as his mouth on your breasts is driving you into an oblivion of pure ecstasy, your walls clenching around nothing, you find it in yourself to pull him away.

With his eyes hooded, he looks so delicious. His cock is still straining against his lower abdomen in his underwear. When you pull him away, his expression reads offense. You can’t help but snicker.

“Did you think I’d let you make this about me?” you say just loud enough for the sound to reach through the earplugs.

He exhales. “I was praying,” he says.

Praying. He is too far gone to realize. There are sides to Matt Murdock you love more than others, and when he becomes blasphemous, it does things to you. This good catholic boy turns into mush when you just touch him, and then you are his God. You’re who he wants to worship, and he would pray to you, worship at the altar of your body, and drink your essence like holy water if it meant being all over you and inside of you. And you take your position very seriously.

He trusts you. That is not a small feat. He trusts you with his body and soul, and he trusts you with the most vulnerable parts of him, be it in bed or merely a hug after a bad day. You know what he needs, and he trusts you to take care of him. He wouldn’t let just anyone do what you do to him.

“What were you praying for?” you ask him.

“You,” he whispers.

“You can have me, but first… focus.”

He told you he was losing focus because the world was far too late, so with the noise reduced, you will help him focus on something other than the world out there.

“Feel that?” You kiss his mouth, and from there, you move down to his stubbly jaw. “Focus on that. Focus on me.”

Matt sucks in another sharp breath. While one hand still rests on your chest, the other comes to rest around your neck, feeling your pulse, feeling you, and his eyes flutter closed at the feeling of your luscious lips all over him.

Your kisses trail down his neck. You pay close attention to the sensitive spot behind his ear. He moans. His hips buck upward. He’s so painfully hard, his cock has already started leaking pre-cum into his boxers.

Each scar, each indentation on his skin that reminds you of all the good he does at the expense of his health, you kiss. You trace your tongue over the healed wounds, feeling the warmth of his skin seep into yours. He’s so sensitive.

His fingers involuntarily clench around your neck, but you don’t mind. He’s not choking you, he’s simply trying to hold on. You have established a safe word for a reason, after all. He can get carried away the same way you can get carried away.

You wouldn’t dare push him too far though. Not tonight. Not when he’s already this wrecked underneath you. You purposefully leave his nipples out of the equation and move further down his body. His abs tense under your tender touch. You can’t help but smile.

And him? Matt feels like he’s floating. He can feel every kiss against his heated skin, your fingertips tracing his scars after you’ve so sensually pressed your mouth against them, and he can feel your every breath as you move downward. Every kiss leaves a series of shivers in its wake. He’s hot, yet he’s cold. He needs more, but at the same time, you are already close to driving him into overstimulation.

His balls tighten. He can’t believe that the feeling of you is enough to make him want to explode. He knows that if you touch his cock now, he might as well come right then and there. It’s so much more intense like this when he doesn’t get distracted by the world outside. You are his world, and you are all he focuses on.

You move further down until you reach his boxers. His arm is no longer long enough to keep his hand around your neck, so he moves it into your hair. It’s a silent warning, you suppose because he is close. You only kissed him, and he’s already so close to coming undone. You don’t blame him. He’s been so tense lately.

You press a kiss to his hip bone before murmuring against his milky skin, “It’s okay.”

Matt whimpers. Your words make their way into his bloodstream.

You pull his boxers down. The cold air hits his aching tip and the way his back arches makes you almost feel bad. You spit into your hand, but you make sure your palm is warm enough before you reach for his girth.

The moment you touch him, he’s done for. “Sweetheart, I can’t–” he chokes out, but you shush him by placing your lips against his tip.

You lick at the salty pre-cum. It tastes like him. You can’t deny that you missed this while he was so distant from you. This is as much for you as it is for him, that is something you can’t deny either. You’re a little selfish tonight. Just a little.

His words of protest get swallowed by a needy moan, and his fist tightens in your hair. He’s not going to last long.

Matt is not one to come early. The guilt swallows him faster than you can swallow his cum, which is why he always holds himself back. Tonight though, you won’t let him torture himself for your pleasure. You hate it when he does it.

“Ugh!” the moan comes from the depths of his chest. “Fucking–God!”

You take him into your throat as far as you can without gagging, and what you can’t take, you wrap your hand around. He’s so thick, and he’s so incredibly big—you can feel the tears forming in your eyes. But God, he is so beautiful with his head thrown back, brown eyes squeezed shut, and that little drop of sweat dripping down his temple. It’s lewd, it’s erotic, and it makes your thighs clench.

All of his reservations vanish when you take him all in. Your throat is tight, but you’re enthusiastic. Your tongue traces the vein on the underside of his cock, moving back up to the overly sensitive head. Your hands cup his balls. Every time you go down on him, Matt swears he can feel heaven reaching its hand out to him.

He grips your hair a little tighter, his other hand tangling in the sheets. He’s so close. He twitches, painfully so. And when he comes, he instinctively pulls your head upward so you won’t choke. His hot cum spurts down your throat, and you have no choice but to swallow.

You surprise both yourself and him when you fight against his hand and force yourself down far enough so that your nose brushes the base of his cock, and you gag.

Your throat is so tight and hot that it drags his orgasm on for eternity. He can hear his blood rushing in his ears. His heart is racing out of his chest as if it has somewhere to be. The fire ripples through him, the inferno turning into a dangerous explosion that tears his nerves apart, putting them back together just to tear them apart again. He feels as though the skin is falling off his very fragile bones, and his muscles collapse in on themselves.

Matt can’t breathe. When he finally manages to untangle his hands from your hair, he lies there. The blood in his ears is obnoxious. He can’t hear. He can’t see. And suddenly, he can’t even feel anymore. He doesn’t exist. Reality slips away into a moment in time. Now, he’s dying. It feels like he is dying.

You pull off his cock, catching your breath. His cum trickles down the corner of your mouth. You wipe it away. Pressing a kiss to his hip bone, you look up through your lashes. At first, he looks blissed out, but his expression quickly changes.

He can’t talk. You take his hand. “Matt,” you coax him.

Not even his chest is lifting in time to accommodate his heavy breathing. His body is shaking as every ounce of stress falls off his shoulders, and his nerves fall victim to the inferno that is still wreaking havoc inside of him.

He taps your wrist three times.

“Okay,” you murmur. You quickly climb back up his body.

“Out,” he manages to tell you, weakly pointing to the earplugs.

“Okay, baby. I’ve got you. Just breathe.”

You pull the earplugs out as fast as you can. Matt’s arms wrap around you, searching for a lifeline, and he pulls you against him.

“Shhh.” You cradle his head in the crook of your neck.

You hold him like this for a while. You hold him against you tightly, gently, as if he is the most fragile thing you have ever held.

Eventually, his breathing returns to normal. His heart starts to slow down. His fingertips no longer dig into your back as desperately as they have before. He’s just content now.

You press your lips to the crown of his head. “You okay?” you dare to ask.

Matt takes a moment before he nods. He leans back slightly. “Thank you,” he breathes.

“For what?”

His lips curl into a tired yet satisfied smile. “For helping me focus.”

You smile back at him. “My pleasure,” you say, and you lean down to capture his lips in a loving kiss.

“I love you,” he murmurs into the kiss.

“And I love you, Matthew Michael Murdock.”

“Oh, you love me that much, huh?”

You giggle, “Shut up!” before you pull him in for another kiss.

For now, he needs to catch his breath and pick up the pieces you shattered by giving him this orgasm, but you know that once he does, it is going to be a long night for you. And you won’t be able to find it in yourself to complain. Not that you want to, anyway.

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spacedace · 2 months

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Maybe I've just missed it, but I feel like there's not enough discussion on Catholic Jason Todd and his feelings on being seemingly resurrected by God Jeesie-Chreesie style.

Like, we as the readers know that it was a reality bending punch from Superboy Prime that brought Jason back, but in canon no one has any explanation at all for how that happened.

The Lazarus Pit fixed him, but he was already alive (just in super bad shape) to be fixed. He woke up in his own coffin and had to claw out of his own grave and no one in-universe can explain how or why it happened.

And that alone would fuck someone up, but add in Catholic Guilt (TM) and references to the resurrection floating around every Easter and Jason's gotta wonder at least a little bit if the Big G brought him back and if so has to absolutely agonize over what he's done with his big second chance.

I just wanna read 100k words of Jason's complicated feelings on his death, rebirth (resurrection?), Red Hood, God, Bruce and what it all means, if anyone's got any recs please share them I'm begging 😭

#jason todd #batman #dc batman #red hood #catholic jason todd #catholic!jason #the catholic guilt had to be eating him alive even before he died #on account of it being catholic guilt and all #but AFTER he died??? man has to be at Mass four times a week and at Confession daily #the poor priest (who got the job after the last one got eh...*retired* by Red Hood for reasons you can imagine) has to be like #absolutely shaking in the confessional booth and questioning everything as THE Red Hood tells him about his many sins #like Father O'Malley just wanted to serve god and his community and now he knows all the Bats identites and has to grapple with #the idea that Jason “8 heads in a duffle bag” Todd qualifies as a miracle and possible might be up for sainthood

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stagefoureddiediaz · 2 days

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I am having a lot of thoughts about the Christopher of it all right now in light of this bts we got from Gavin!!!

Because - Mountains and rock climbers and forests!!!

Look I've already climbed onto the Eddie and mountains to climb train in this post here but I'm about to make it a Diaz boys have mountains to climb train!!!

So Eddie now has a photograph - in black and white - of Half Dome on his bedroom wall - right above his bed

And then he has a lone cowboy on a horse - on the opposite wall - a cowboy on a horse in a flat landscape (which is yellow/orange - and with the blue walls also therefore plays into yellow blue theory)...

...and there is just something about Eddie sitting in his bed - looking at a picture of what is essentially a lone ranger in a barren landscape, on a wall that Buck helped him repair, while behind him is this looming mountain that is notoriously difficult to climb - the thing he can see when he is having sex with M - upside down.

The rest is under the cut because being brief is not my wheelhouse!!

Something about playing into the idea that Eddie has been this lone ranger in a barren landscape - searching for something - an something about how that search in this barren landscape is hiding (happening) the holes in the wall that Buck helped him patch up - something about how he feels alone even though the help he needed and wanted is already there - just hidden out of sight.

How that mountain is looming behind him also out of sight. How Eddie is in t his good place right now, but there are still mountains for him to climb - how those mountains are connected to his past.

There is also something in the choice of black and white for the image - something about the thing Eddie needs to deal with - the mountain he needs to climb is black and white - Obvious - not a complex myriad of colour (something something about his catholic guilt being obvious - black and white - something about it being a part of him that is finite and defined and not changeable - something like being gay perhaps!!)

Then there is the fact that we can make a fair assumption, based on the fact that we were shown Buck helping him fix the holes, that Buck helped Eddie with all of the redecorating - that he helped him paint the room (and choose the lovely duck egg blue colour), helped him hang the pictures - helped him choose the artwork for his walls - implicitly tying Buck to that mountain - that his feelings etc tied to Buck are his mountain still to climb. The thing with this as a concept is that it also plays into the upside down on the bed with Marisol - things being wrong or upside down/ backwards with her - that the spectre of Buck looms large over their relationship.

The otehr thiing I'd like to point out is kind of the biggest thing of them all and plays into the two cut lines and red string of fate of it all. Because Half Dome has a permanent cable tether for climbers attempting to summit to use and the metaphor of that is fascinating to me. There is something in the idea of Eddie feeling untethered, but also in Eddie not fully trusting he has a tether. How Eddie still hasn't fully grasped the permanence of Buck in the Diaz family's life - in Eddies life. Eddie needs to scale that mountain and buck is metaphorically speaking the half dome permanent cable run. Eddie might've made him a permanent fixture from a legal perspective - but that was for Chris, not for him (and Chris has already figured out Bucks permanence if you ask me - he already ran to Buck and opens up to him in a way he can’t with his father) but Eddie still doesn’t fully trust that the support he has in his life through Buck is permanent rather than a temporary tether. Eddie is almost there - but not quite - it feels like there is something in Bucks coming out to him that will be the catalyst for him to figure that out (don't ask me what or how - I haven't figured that bit out yet but it has something to do with the whole nothing has changed between us and Eddies dawning realisation of that that gives him his own confidence to make changes in the same way Buck has!)and start his climb so he can explore the mountain (his queerness) safely.

But back to Christophers t-shirt and how it fits into everything. Christopher has his own mountains to climb - dealing with his feelings of being abandoned by his mom - by being abandoned by the women in his life - because we need to remember that Abuela is also now absent from his life as she is now back in Texas. How Ana also left and how we've very much not been shown Carla at all (or had mention on her I think) this season. we can even, by virtue of the relationship Chris and Buck share, include Taylor leaving (being kicked to the curb) as part of the list of women exiting his life in some way.

Bringing up Shannons letter and having Chris read it at the very start of the season, for me is a clear indicator that that is the arc he is going to go through this season - that while there are still elements of the Shannon of it all in Eddies story, it is actually Christopher who needs to let that ghost go and move forward, not Eddie.

911 loves to play with imagery - they excel at it in the Diaz house, and I talk about how the kids costuming on the show is always so deliberately chosen to reflect their arcs, Especially with Chris. So here we have Chris in a t-shirt with mountains, trees and climbers on - setting up the idea of exploring him climbing that mountain he has to climb, but also playing on the idea that he's a bit caught in a forest as well - cannot see the wood for the trees. It a great metaphor for his current abandonment issues - because he is still a bit too young to fully comprehend that some people are not meant to stay in your life in a permanent way or that sometimes, just because they are not physically present in a regular way, doesn't mean they have abandoned you. Hell that is a difficult thing for many adults to comprehend, so to ask a kid to - especially one who's hormones are starting to go crazy - is never going to be practical.

The fact they’ve very deliberately not shown him actually interacting with with Marisol before now - establishing her as existing in Christopher’s world but not actively being a part of it - really ensuring to set her apart and off to the side - apart form establishing the contrast between Shannon and Marisol, is so interesting and feels, to me at least, like it’s building up to possibly playing into some version of the idea of you’re not my mother etc etc. They've taken great care to establish Shannon as Christophers mother - that she is still a major presence in his life, even in her absence.

They're is also something in the way that the idea of Marisol being 'portrayed' (can't think of the right word but I hope you know what I mean) as essentially a babysitter - we've never been shown them interacting - just told that Eddie has been getting her to babysit and in tv show land if you want to tell the audience that two characters have a good relationship (of whatever form) - you show it - you don't allude to that relationship as existing - especially when you are developing a narrative around a child's fear of being abandoned by the women in his life - not showing her looking after Chris before this point, and after you have established said abandonment issue, just reenforces the nature of their relationship - that it is one Chris is not likely to be engaging in - because she's going to leave anyway so what is the point of getting attached.

Now this is interesting because it feeds into Eddies arc rather nicely - its an arc they have already established with the audience - his jumping in too quickly and without thinking things through properly. it also plays back into an already existing arc - the one where he does things for Christopher and not for himself. they are to all intents and purposes the same thing. Eddie lets Shannon back into his life - for Christopher, he re-proposes not for himself, but for Christopher and the second baby he thinks is coming, he starts dating Ana for Christopher not for himself, he Makes Buck Christophers legal guardian for Christopher (even though at this point we don't know if Chris knows this fact), yes a part of that id for himself as well, but it is predominately for Chris. Eddie asking Marisol to move in - almost immediately in the aftermath of Chris revealing to Buck that he feels abandoned by his mom and that is where his multiple girlfriends/ becoming a player is coming from - how it is having an impact on who he is becoming as a person (one who things women leave and therefore treats them as temporary), is Eddie doubling down on his relationship with Marisol as a way of giving Christopher a female who is present. The entire thing - Eddie - in therapy and healing and now in a place where he thinks his issues with Ana and becoming a ready made family etc are 'dealt with' and in the past - hearing Chris talk about Shannon that way and to then have his immediate response be to go one step further than he managed with Ana - to ask M to move in - to essentially create something permanent - the whole going with is gut - despite his own feelings and thoughts on the matter - boils down to him still doing things for Chris’s happiness and not his own feels kind of loud. Because that is what his gut tells him - double down and sacrifice yourself and your own happiness for Christopher.

on the subject of guts - its very clearly a major theme for the Diaz boys this season, the show has been using the Diaz house to great effect already on this front.

Christophers homework that he was doing in episode 1 - all aobut guts

we had him studying blood types and transfusions

the function of kidneys and the nephron (literal guts!!)

and then - when he's read Shannons letter - frog dissection - again literally looking at guts

then from up coming episodes - thanks to Jihanes bts content we know that the fridge has the following charts on it

All things related to the gut and gut health. something something about Eddies heart having been worked on and now his gut is next in line to be sorted out. Especially as catholic guilt is something that plays into the idea of being something you feel in your gut rather than heart or head - related.

And there is also something in relation to the catholic guilt of it all and Eddies gut and Chris feeling like women don’t stay thats in play with Eddies relationship with his mother - that she's stayed too present in his life and that she treated him is such a contradicting way - the juxtaposition of not letting him be a kid whilst he was a kid - needing him to be the man of the house in his fathers absence whilst then not letting him grow up/ treating him as a child when he became an adult - and dominating (or trying to) his life and how he (and Shannon) raised Christopher.

Because it is fair to assume that it was Helena who took Eddie to church every Sunday and who was predominately responsible for his religious up bringing (we don't know how long Ramon was away for but to me at least it feels implied that his business trips would be for several weeks or months at a time and then he would return home for a period before disappearing again) an therefore much of his catholic guilt is attached to her and how if they are going in the catholic guilt/queer repression direction it is Helenas forceful personality that kept him in the closet even if he managed to step back from Catholicism

Something something about hearts and guts and minds being concepts of the human condition that are so intricately intertwined and needing to be in balance - how Eddies heart has been looked at and worked on (his relationship with his father), how his gut needs to be worked on now (which is related to his mother) and then finally his mind - Eddie needing to learn to communicate and talk things through with people rather than burying it - something he cant do until he has worked through is catholic guilt and his letting his gut rule his decision making (even though it rarely pans out for him) - much like his mother has ruled over his life in one way or another until recently.

Something something about that being a mountain they are both climbing - but in different ways and therefore separately and it all comes back to them not talking - Eddie not talking to his son (he even had Buck have that initial conversation with him rather than do it himself) there is still so much misunderstanding between the Diaz boys!

Wow I did not mean for this to get long!!!! Hopefully it makes sense!!

it may just be the incoherent ramblings of a woman obsessed with the way they are picking a part Eddie and putting him back together - endlessly fascinating to me!!

#911 spoilers #Christopher Diaz #eddie diaz #long meta #The Diaz house #911 costume things #911 meta #911 spec #thinky thoughts #I have no idea how I ended up where I did from where I started but here we go #I am the James Acaster GBBO meme!!!!#911 abc

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romanarose · 8 months

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If You Wanna Be Wild: Chapter 2

Javier Peña x Latina!sex worker!informant!Reader/OC x Santiago Garcia

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Summary: Javi and Santi talk about where to start with Lorea; Santi thinks on his night with Candy

Content and warnings for whole fic, not chapter by chapter unless something is added: Sex work, drug trade, some drug use/pressured used, sex workers and the mistreatment/stigma surrounding them specifically in the 70’s (my blog is sex worker positive) but ima put potential dub con depending how you look at it as a sex worker who works with dangerous men, some action surrounding reader and the guys and the drug trade, SMUT HEAVY, corruption kink (were corrupting santi here, he’s young, 25), no loss of virginity tho, threesomes, some slight m/m smut but that’s not the focus here, but as you know this blog is an lgbt blog so I’m always open to gay shit. Talk of war and some PTSD but I won't be going a whole lot into it.

Additional warnings: Catholic guilt and religous trauma and religion talk. However, this is not an anti catholic page. We can discuss the problems of the church at large and the guilt that abstence-only and shame based discussions on sex can affect people, but my family is catholic and I have a lot of respect for the individual people, especially Latino-catholics.

For the record, this is a fic that takes place in the drug trade and deals with the darker side of humanity, so anything from Narco's and Triple Frontier is liable to be discussed or mentioned here. This is your warning. This is not a dark fic nor is it centered around dark themes like Leather and Lace or Sunshine Starlight Sweetheart Brightside, but they are open to be talked about.

Reader has a nick name: Candy. Not her real name just what she goes by on her profession. Much of the inspo for this and for the title came from the Bruce Springsteen song “Candy’s room” so check it out for the vibes.

Reader speaks Spanish and had hair. I've decided Candy is just latina coded bc she's a sex worker in colombia so this is what I'm doing.

3.1k words. Proof red by my beloved Fen

Perspective changed per section. When perspective is Santi or Javi, reader is referred to in the 3rd person or by Candy.

************************

You have Santi sat up on the bed, facing you. Well, Diego. That’s what he said his name was, but if he thought you didn’t know who the new DEA agent in town was, he was mistaken. After your 3rd arrest for prostitution, you got a lot more careful, and always tried to keep up with the police in the area. You wondered if he knew Javi.

“Alright Diego, tell me, what exactly is it you’re looking for?” You ask, but he looks confused, so you give a soft, warm sigh. He was one of those ones. “Are you just looking for a quick fuck? Getting to know each other and forming a connection, exploring things?”

Santi considered his options. “Well, maybe I’d like to learn a little bit… only had s-” He swallowed. “sex a few times… you know, lights off, missionary, couple pumps and done…” A nervous chuckle emitted from him, so you tried to ease him with a soft smile.

“Don’t worry, baby boy, we can do that. Let’s start with getting to know a woman’s body, how about that?”

“Garcia, wake the fuck up.” Javi’s voice broke Santi out of his daydreaming, making him snap towards Javi.

“Huh? Sorry.”

“Whatsamatter, pretty boy, got dicked down too hard last night?”

Santi’s eyes went wide at that. “Dicked-?!?! DICKED DOWN? JAVI!” He leaned in to whisper harshly, as if it was important enough to keep quiet but not so bad Santi couldn’t miss an opportunity to clutch his pearls. “Javi, you fucking know I could get arrested for that!”

“I’m joking, pendejo.”

“You shouldn’t joke about that!”

Apparently, Santi looked concerned enough that Javi backed down, raising his hands in defeat. “Tranquilo, tranquilo amigo, lo siento. Yo parare.”

A little shaken, Santi glanced down as he calmed himself. “Gracias, Pena”. He rolled his shoulders and shook his head before clearing his throat. “So. Lorea. What do we got?”

Santiago Garcia had never seen a pussy up close before. There’d been porno magazines, sure… and he’d… touched a bit. He wasn’t an animal, Will had explained he can’t just shove his dick into a woman, that could hurt her. No, you gotta warm her up first, seduce her, open her up. Santi heard more than he ever wanted to of the sordid detail of Will eating pussy. However, when it came to actual sex, Santi barely got through it without a panic attack. There was no way he was going to attempt to go down on a girl under those conditions. Still, he didn’t want to hurt her, so he made sure to finger the 3 girls he’d somehow bumbled his way into bed with.

He needed to do better. Candy was allowing him the chance to explore, get over his nerves.

“But I want you to cum��” He had insisted.

“Well aren’t you a sweet boy… I’ll make sure I cum, how about that? Let me worry about that.”

“But…” he had looked across at her. “But I wanna learn how too.”

She nodded with reassurance. “You will, trust me, I’ll teach you. Just for today, focus on getting comfortable. I’ll let you know what feels good and what doesn’t but what works for me may not work for someone else, so remember that. Most important thing is communicating and listening to her body, so let’s start there.”

That’s how he got here, flat on his chest with Candy’s legs spread out before him. Her pussy was glistening for him.

“Where do I… how do I start?”

Candy sat up just a bit on her elbows. “Start by just getting familiar, explore.”

So he did. Santi started with touching. His index and middle finger swept along her folds, moving and opening her up for his view. She was beautiful. He started with the top, the area just below her pantyline tan skin under a bush of hair followed by her folds coming to a head.

“That’s the clit, that’s very important.” She took his fingers and pulled back the hood. “Touch there” When Santi complied, Candy sank back down on her bed with a hum.

Santi felt a swell of pride at giving her pleasure. “Is that good?”

“Very good, pretty boy. Lot of nerves right there.”

He continued touching below, feeling the way her skin moved to his touch and how his fingers slid across the slick, soft skin below… She looked delicious.

“Can I taste you?”

“Where do we even start with something like this?” Santi groaned, flopping his head back.

Javi couldn't help but roll his eyes at that. “Don’t be such a child, Garcia. You take this shit one step at a time, just like anything else. Let’s start with what we know.”

The handsome younger man sighed. “Fine.” He pulled out the casefiles and Javi noticed how much calmer he’d seemed, less high strung… still high strung but that was just Santiago, Javi came to realize. “Gabriel Martin Lorea, coke dealer, devout catholic and family man… none of which stops him from hiring hookers.”

Javi chuckles. “Few things do.”

“Well, marriage should, especially when you have children.” Santi glared at him.

His naivete, something Javi had been dreading with a younger partner, ended up endearing Santi to him. “Right, right of course.” He smiled and shook his head before lighting up a cigarette.

“Do you really have to do that indoors?”

“So sue me. I’m the one smoking, it’s not like it can hurt you.”

“I don’t know, I heard of a study that secondhand smoke can-”

Javi blew a puff of smoke in Santi’s face. “That’s just anti-smoking propaganda pushed by doctors to sell more nicotine patches.”

Santi had dived right in. Once he had permission to taste, he very tentatively licked a strip up her folds and to the clit… and was suddenly a starved man, insatiable, desperate to devour her and drown in her juices.. She liked when he touched her clit so he was sure to latch his mouth over the hood. As he sucked, Candy instructed him to finger her and he was happy to oblige. This, he could handle at least.

“Good boy…” Candy cooed at him. “Such a good boy for me, so obedient.”

“Wanna be good.” He mumbled into your core as he lapped at her, hips rutting against the bed. “Wanna do good.”

When her fingers found his hair, tangling up in his curls and tugging just a bit, he couldn’t help but whine into her, toes curling in his socks.

“You’re doing so good, baby boy, so good, but I’m gonna need you to stop.”

Stop? He didn’t wanna stop. Santi wanted to die here with her… Was it time? How much time did he pay for- ait, he hadn’t even paid her yet. What was her going rate? He didn’t fucking care right now, right now he’d pay her his life savings, his military pension, his first born, whatever she wanted if he could cum.

“Whyyyyy?!” He simply went back to eating her out, taking every moment he had.

“Because,” Candy pulled at his curls, forcing him to look up and crawl back up her golden body. “Because you are about to cum, and I still wanna ride you.”

He could feel his eyes go wide at that. He wasn’t stupid, he knew what that meant… but for someone who had only ever done missionary, the whole concept seemed so… dirty. Santi chuckled nervously, tucking his head into the crook of her neck. “I’ll be honest, Candy, I’m not sure how much longer I’m gonna last as it is.”

He felt her chuckle. “Let’s slow down for a moment, then. I want you to undress.”

His breath hitched, but he made the move to undo his pants until she stopped him.

“Uh-uh, Diego. Stand up. Let me watch you undress.”

Undress like… standing? By himself? All out there and naked? “Um… can’t I do it here?”

“You can.” She confirmed with a kind smile. “But I’d really like to watch you strip for me.”

How could he resist that? Tentative, slow and careful, Santi stood up and Candy sat on the edge of the bed, bottoms off but still clothed top. “Are you gonna take that off?” It was half a joke, half a genuine question.

Candy nodded. “I will, just trust me.”

And he did, with everything in him.

So he took off his shirt.

“Okay. Catholic. Do we know what church he goes to?”

Javi raised an eyebrow? “You think a drug lord is going to daily mass?”

“No, but if he’s devout I assume he’s got a family that goes. Wife and children maybe, but definitely a mother. I don’t know one woman over 50 who doesn’t belong to a perish, especially a hispaña woman.”

“You find a lot of company con mujeres mayor, amigo?”

“Shut up. I say we start there. If we can find out about his family's church, we can probably find out a little more.”

Apprehensive as always, Javi crossed his legs, doubtful. “I don’t know, what can we possibly find out?”

Santi shrugged. “Not sure, but churches have a lot of records when it comes to members and if he has a family that is active we might find out something useful.”

“Is this really the best use of our time?”

Javi raised a good point, this might be a dead end, and they would have wasted all that time. “Just give me a picture of all known families and I’ll keep an eye out.”

Now that caught Javi’s attention, cocking an eyebrow at him. “You go to church, Garcia?”

A faint blush crept up Santi’s neck. His mother was very religious, that religion instilled into him and his sister. His sister couldn’t care less anymore, but then again she had never cared much about their mother’s harsh opinions and strict standards… Santi did. And so, even now with her passing, Santi attended mass often. Not a part of a regular perish, he just attended where he could and when his schedule allowed. The old women there did love him, but Santi knew Javi would never let that go. “Tengo muchas tías y primos en la zona. Si no muestro mi cara en la iglesia a veces, se lo dirán a mi madre y nunca escucharé el final.”

Javi didn’t need to know his mom was dead.

Santi nervously slides down his trousers and underwear, revealing the last bit of himself to Candy. Except for his tube socks. He wasn't sure what to do about those.

“Can I… move now?” He asked, a tremble in his soft voice.

She cocked her head to the side. “Does it make you nervous? To be seen like this.”

“To be seen like what?”

Candy stood up. “Naked, vulnerable, in full lighting…” She walked over towards him and placed her hands on her chest. “To let someone be able to see every part, every dip…” She felt over the ripples of his stomach muscles. “Every.” Lower. “Single.” Lower. “Inch.” Grabbing onto his hardened cock and began stroking it.

Santi let out a shuttered gasp at the touch of her hand. With her other one she lifted it to his mouth. “Lick, pretty boy.”

He was happy to oblige, not needing to know why. He didn’t need to ask questions with her, he could simply shut off his mind and let Candy guide him… mother knows best. Santi lapped at her palm, keening into it as the wetness smeared on his face.

“Such a good puppy”

The whine that emitted from him was out of him control; he liked the praise, he liked the nickname. He liked it a lot. He had been taught his whole life that sex was for procreation, a dirty thing to be done in shame and in quiet but here she was, proudly jerking him off with the now-wet hand… His mom would have said she was consumed by lust, that the devil had taken her, but Santo saw nothing but kindness in her eyes. Yes, he was paying her, he was well aware of that fact but she did genuinely seem to want to help him, to let him explore, to allow him to care for this basic human instinct… Was this dirty? Was this wrong? He wasn’t sure he cared anymore.

“Doing so good baby boy, are you close?”

He was seconds away from coming. “S-so close.” He had his head thrown back, letting her take the lead on his pleasure.

With that, she wrapped her hand around the base of his cock, stifling his impending orgasm.

“Mierde!” Santiago grunted, body jolting a bit in the physical frustration.

“Relaje, guapo. Trust me, okay? Can you do that?”

He groaned, but complied. Santi trusted her with everything. Right now, he’d follow her into the dark.

“Alright, so Pope Santiago will case the churches in his free time. Where does that leave us during the time we actually get paid for?” Javi thought the nickname was fitting for the apparently religious boy.

“I think we need to learn more about his free time.” Javi put out his cigarette. “How about we talk to some girls, see if they know anything?”

Santi narrowed his eyes in confusion. “Girls?”

“Hookers, Pope, hookers.”

“Oh.”

Javi noticed how he suddenly became so nervous. The boy needed to get laid. The new information of Santi being at least semi-religious was a whole new insight on his psyche. He already seemed to be a bit of a mama’s boy, a goody-two-shoes with a shiny military career and a good heart, but this was a little different. Javier’s family was catholic, as most families were. He had been baptized, first communion, confirmed, the whole jazz but as soon as he’d got annoying enough, his mom stopped bushing the issue. Santi, however, was still practicing.

“I’ll handle that part, Garcia. Don’t worry, I won't drag the Pope into a whore house.”

Javi had no doubt Santi could hold his own in most scenarios. Hell, he’d seen it. In line of fire, interviews, everything Santi could handle. But take him into a room full of prostitutes? Well, they’d eat him alive.

“Are you ready for me, pretty boy?” You had him right where you wanted him, right where you liked pretty boys like him that you got to corrupt in moments like this… Santiago was special though, you could tell. He was innocent, but he was far from the most innocent. You’d taken plenty of virginities before, so many you’d lost track of it all, but the way Santiago looked at you right now as he was sat up against the padded headboard of your bed slowly stroking him as your legs straddled his. Santiago looked at you with reverence, adoration, like he was fully submitted below you… as if you had the power, even though it was in his hands as the customer. Yeah, he was a special one.

A good, young DEA agent, straightline former military, special Ops and he came to you to show him how to pleasure a woman; not just to have sex, not just to get off, but to learn how to heighten the pleasure of all parties… A church going boy too.

“Do I need to beg? Because I’ll fucking beg.” His hands were gripped at the sheets, lightning at the knuckles.

“Oh sweet boy, I won’t make you beg, I’m just checking in.” You sit up, rubbing the tip of his cock along your folds. Pulling down the foreskin, you begin to sink down on him, watching his eyes widen as your warmth enveloped him. He filled you right up. Every. Single. Inch.

“Breath baby, breath.” You urge him as you see his lips pressed tight together.

He did as he was told, releasing a breath.

“Good job. Now keep breathing, I’m going to finish undressing.” His cock was stuffed into you, and your bottom remained still as your top moved, stipping off your shirt and bra in one.

It was merely a whisper. “Beautiful…” His eyes were nearly glazed over in lust when you began your work.

Up, down, up, down… you moved on him with your hands on his chest for balance… he seemed almost in shock as he looked in your eyes, only staying momentarily to look at your breasts before quickly looking back at your face as if it was impolite.

“It’s okay to look, Diego. You won’t offend me. You can find me sexy, do you think I’m sexy, Diego?”

“So pretty…” It was gasped out and you could tell he was almost there again.

You began to bounce on him with more vigor and the “You can touch me too”

“I’m… I’m a little scared too…”

Running your fingers through his curls, you ruffle it, enjoying the look of the pristine young man coming undone for you. You take the initiative for him. Hand in hand, you guide him to your breasts, encouraging Santiago to grope and squeeze as he liked and you reveal in the feeling of feeling of his excited pawing. He was enraptured in you, you and him were the only thing that matter right now, and you knew it. You stretched around him, and you knew it had to be one hell of sight.

“Watch” Pulling him by his curls you guide him to look down where you and him connected, letting him watch the watch your cunt moved to accommodate him, making room to be filled over and over again. “See how my body let’s you in? I was made for you, pretty boy. I was made to take you inside me.”

The thick stretch was bringing you closer, and you knew he was only holding on by a thread himself, so you began to touch yourself. “Focus on that feeling, Diego. The feeling of us together. Can you feel it? I sure can.”

“I- I can, yes.” He was panting now, his bare tanned chest heaving with every bounce of you tits in his hands.

“Yes what?” But he looked up at you in confusion, a desperation on his face to be good, do good, do this all right. “Yes ma’am”

“Yes ma- ma’ammmm” With that, Santiago’s hits thrust upward into you, his eyes drilled shut and mouth tightly closed in his attempt to muffle his own release.

You did no such thing. As he filled you up, you spilled over yourself and felt the gushing release of your cunt soaking his cock, you yelled out for him, letting him know how good he made you feel. Relaxing onto his chest, Santiago wraps his arms around you like an affection-starved child, and you get a little hint into what you think this was all about.

He needed praise. He needed fondness. He needed skin to skin contact like nothing else right now. He needed to be a good person and do it all right and know he was doing it right.

Santiago needed to be loved.

*****************

IM BACK

Sorry i know it was a wait lmfao. I posted like 3 chapters of the wrong way sequel before this one lolololol OOPS

But i promise I got a fun plan for this fic! I hope you all enjoy.

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Comments mean the world to me!

Asks are always open to discuss this fic or my others, but also for non fandom too! Talk to me about anything you're excited about! I wanna get to know you all.

Also, as a note im trying my best for historic acuracy but I know narcos goes from like 70's onward but this stays in the 70's. Pretend Pablo Escabar isn't an issue anymore lmfao.

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punkeropercyjackson · 2 months

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Related to my prev post:

I don't give two shits if Bruce is written like a bad dad if it means we get good writing for everybody else since i think minorities are more important than a white cishet male nepotism baby unlike his butch lesbian counterpart who's judaism is an actual fundamental part of her character and since he's been written as abusive so consistently over the years it's in-character anyway

Dick can be both bi/pan and demisexual and there's more evidence for the latter than the former so making him be sexually loose is aspec erasure and mspec stereotyping and he dosen't have a thing for redheads,he has a thing for black women and to me the only guy he seems to like romantically is Roy and that adds on to his demisexuality since they're childhood best friends

'Catholic guilt Jason' is a shit headcanon that misses the major and critical part of him being Red Hood that he didn't feel the slightest bit bad about killing people and the point of his redemption was learning remorse,afrolatino Jason isn't based on stereotyping but him filling out so many black and latino cultural aspects and if any hcs for him are stereotyping it's the one that he's a slut because he's a very handsome and hot and cute goth punk man

Tim is perfect the way he is and dosen't need power ups or to get 'punished' for the oh so horrible crime of being a realistic teenage boy,he's not JUST huge a loser or a super cool dude but both at once and it's bad writing and fetishistic to ignore his wide range of relathionships that consists of mostly of women to make him a 'guys guy'

Stephanie is heavily autistic and bpd-coded so she's far from a 'normie',much less an 'it girl' but people see blonde hair and blue eyes and throw away everything else about her because that's all she's worth to them or call her an abuser and a pick me just like they do irl bpdtistic women and she's also canonically pastel/indie punk and a Team Mom but gets her presentation switched to basic and made out to be a womanchild instead

Cass had a million times more moral conflict than Jason ever did,would never in her LIFE wanna be feminine even in the chinese way and would be butch in it instead,turning her scattered speech into sign language is ableist not unlike(but not on the same level as)changing Babs' type of wheelchair disability and she'd be a better Batman than any male character in existense

Duke is only a golden child in the sense he has a yellow motif and is as disruptive and authentically quirky as his siblings,We Are Robin is a better team than the canon Outlaws,his powers are cooler than any Al-Ghul ones you could come up with,he has more femme energy than Tim does and Carrie Kelley ain't shit and only gets brought back to replace him because DC is antiblack

Damian's introduction mentality was a result of not only child abuse but also psychological grooming to get him to dehumanize himself and all his bigoted comments are explained either by him being like 12 or his writers trying to demonize brown people and anybody who thinks he's a bad person is a super-sized pissbaby with no sympathy for kids of color,shipping him with Jon is making a bisexual man into a ped0phile and Jay is good even if aging Jon up wasn't and he should be friends with Maya,Suren,Nell,Colin,Kathy,Maps,Tai and Miles,Gwen,Peni,Pavitr,Hobie and Margo from Atsv and Nico and Hazel from Pjo instead of Billy Batson or Danny Fenton or ANY Mcu characters

Talia is super hot but should be drawn in accurate arab clothes instead 'sexy assasian gear'(not that these two can't co-exist but you get what i mean),her personality is extremely rich and her stories are mega interesting,she's a good mom to Damian and literally never 'took advantage of Jason' seeing as That Scene In Lost Days was decanonized by it's writer who said it was ooc for her on his part,she should've been a mom figure to Stephanie in her Robin Days too since they would get along and she deserved her own run where she takes over Lexcorp to transform it into a force for good and become Superfam-adjacent to free herself from having only male connections

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qcomicsy · 1 year

Note

Can you recommend me Bat-family comics to read? Which ones do you like?

Heyyyy

I would love it!

DISCLAIMER Keep it in mind I'm a casual reader so my recs might not be the most "this is every issue they are together" or the longer ones!

Let's go!

Nightwing Annual (2021)

Dick & Jason focused

This is one of my favorites ones, it focuses both on Dick's and Jason's relationship as Nightwing and Robin and Nightwing and Redhood.

The dialogue is great, it has both it's really funny bits but also it's really wholesome ones too and it's full of heartwarming moments.

I absolutely adore the way they handled Jason's Robin and acknowledges his violent tendencies without judging him for it.

He's not portrayed as overly violent and reckless, but as a normal teenager having normal reactions given the things he had to deal in his past.

My only criticism is Jason still using that damn crowbar and how they kept drawing Jason shorter the Nightwing for some reason. I think it was to accentuate the "younger brother" feelings so I forgive the artist.

But it's pretty funny.

He looks like short king

Robin & Batman

Dick and Bruce focused

Oh this one, this one it's so good, so good that almost got me crying on main. It's really beautiful, I wasn't the happiest about how Bruce behaved in the comic but it sat in a fine line between Batdad and Bruce being a terrible father/person.

He is too hard on Robin, but it does show how he is trying.

The art is goddamn beautiful, it has this watercolor look and Dick looks adorable on it.

It also goes deep in Dick's feelings about being Robin and what the whole jig means to him, it respects Dick's relationship with Bruce but without forgetting the love and the moments he had with his biological parents.

It's just really, really beautiful a goddamn gem between the many mistakes DC made with them two over those years.

For Tim and Dick I really recomend

Batman Prodigal (1997)

Note: The whole Kightfell series is great for a Bruce, Dick and Tim read. But for the Batfam feelings you can just focus on the prodigal parts.

Dick & Tim focused

The only thing you have to know to catch up is:

1. Bane broke Bruce's back and dignity, so he couldn't still be Batman.

2. Bruce found this guy called Jean Paul to fill for him.

3. Jean Paul is really fond of punishment and violence and the good ol' catholic guilt and goes a little bit too rogue as Batman for everyone's liking.

4. Bruce takes the mantle from Jean Paul and Nightwing fills in as the new Batman.

I wouldn't call exactly brotherly, because Tim wasn't adopted yet in the timeline this was published but they have their moments.

New talent show case DC #2017

Duke and Jason focused

This is also a favorite. It's a short story (unfortunately) but every single panel is worth it.

It's basically Jason and Duke bonding moment between fighting some baddies and trying to clown each other on the way. 10/10 will always recommend.

Robin War

Jason & Duke & Tim & Damian

This one I've read recently (thanks for the asks people send to me y'all are fucking great) and it's a fucking gem!

It shows a lot their chemistry on the battlefield and how fucking insufferable they are around each other. It also shows how Duke fits as a glove in this family of misfits even before he was an "official member".

Red Hood and the Outlaws Annual (2016)

Another Dick and Jason focused!

Oh this one is a blast! It's also short but so goddamn worth it.

Basically Jason and the Outlaws take a gig in a circus to track a Russian bad guy (gotta love how comic books have unresolved beef with Russians until this day) and well it's a circus so how can you not call Dick Grayson?

It's so goddamn funny and it has no right to be, it still very close in the timeline where Dick and Jason were definitely not in good terms, so their interaction it's all so awkward it's a joy really.

We also got a flashback from Dick and younger Jason as Robin and even the flashback is goddamn hilarious, I had such a good time reading it that it's a must read!

Now If you're here for the angst and general feeling's™

I would highly recomend.

- Nightwing Year One (Dick & Bruce)

- Death in the Family (Jason & Bruce & Dick)

- Red Robin (Tim & Dick / Tim & Damian / minor Tim & Cass / Minor Bruce & Tim)

Note: They don't interact much in this run but when they do it hurts. It also can help you understand the beef between Tim and Damian better.

- DCeased (Damian & Steph / minor Damian & Jason)

Note: It's one of the many, many DC aus but this one it's 'pretty' good (it's decent). Definitely not Batfam focused but it has one one of my favorite Damian & Steph and Damian & Jason moments. It's also one of my favorites interpretations of Damian, he gets so sweet and mature over the years that passes in the comic and his reencounter with Jason rewrote my entirety brain chemistry.

Also unfortunately it's the only time we get to see Damian and Jon growing up together :')

- DC vs Vampires ( Batfam (except Duke because the author is a coward) specially Tim & Damian / Tim & Bruce / Dick & Almost everybody )

Note: Okay this one is a fucking car ride, a rollercoaster if you will. And it's ANOTHER DC au but with yeah VAMPIRES so buckle-up.

It has major Batfam moments in the beginning and one of my favorites Damian and Tim interactions ( I'm going to reblog this with photos because Tumblr is homophobic and isn't letting me add more photos in this shit >:( ). Then it goes hard on betrayal (trying not to add spoilers) and feelings so get ready for that.

I unfortunately haven't finished (casual reader remember that) but the much I've read was really, really good.

It gets very silly very quickly as anything made with vampires generally get (unfortunately they butchered a lot of characters in the process) but if you go head empty no thoughts you're going to get a lot of fun and maybe cry a little if that gets to you.

So this is it. I'm sure it has more of it, and oh I'm sure I forgot a lot of it but those are the one's I could get from the top of my head, so I hope you and all of the people who want to follow it have fun!

Also if someone has more recommendations feel free to add on the Reblogs, I'm sure I will eat it up anyway.

#Also Batman & Robin Eternal has been sitting on my reading list for a while (lies)#I've read a couple of panels today and seems really promising a lot of Dick & Tim & Jason interactions! Harpey my dear is also there to!#so if someone wants to check go for it I for now have no idea of it's good or not #but I will (eventually (*I hope*))#q asks #q recommendations #batfamily #batfam #dick grayson #jason todd #bruce wayne #tim drake #damian wayne #duke thomas #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #alfred pennyworth

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laylawatermelon · 7 days

Text

70.6 - 7.07 Speculation/ Buddie Meta

I am a writer y'know hehe

So, Buddie is happening.

Now let me explain.

Bi buck always existed, but the problem is that most of his consistent emotional relationship one could argue realistically romantically has been with a man he's known for years.

But has always been bi yes, but he's also been in love with his best friend for a really long time.

Friends to lovers where Y'all at? I see y'all madney truthers

Anyways I understand but what has kind of been bothering me is the fact that Buddie the ship has been abandoned/negated as not an important past of the puzzle for bi buck realization despite the fact that Eddie is physically present throughout his entire relationship/storyline.

I could argue that because they're mirrors to each other (corny soulmate type shit is perfect for network tv) this is the best way to ease people into it.

Buck and Eddie are the two beloved firefighters (and respective sex symbols). They have an appeal for the straight audience for that reason.

Lou already spoiled it but he's only here for a while.

There's been almost blatant explanations and dialogue that leads to the fact that this relationship is going to directly lead into buddie one way or another.

Tommy has from the beginning suspected that Buck (I'm calling him Evan in my head in regards to him and it's so weird 😖) and Eddie have an unusual relationship or that Buck is in love with Eddie at least.

(MY attention? is the biggest example.)

My prediction is that their mirrors of each other, the parallels, and red flags pop up too often now.

I know they're still writing the show and are likely watching audience engagement and ao3 (I'm watching you Tim ik you're here I'm new but ik you got shooters out here) for where to go with the story.

In Eddie's (frankly oddly portrayed) plotline is related to his Catholic guilt and his nonexistent relationship with Marisol (no last name?). As the episode maybe suggests they don't know their partners well enough.

Shame to Eddie because it's been months in universe like come on man. In Buck's it's literally been a few weeks, and most of the time Tommy spent with Eddie and not with him.

I like them as a couple and find them affordable. I can't quite bring myself to ship them or be as enthusiastic as others and that's okay.

I still admire the relationship they have and won't bash others for enjoying it.

Hell they still have Taylor and Buck enjoyers and maybe even Abby (i assume I haven't met any honestly).

The reason why I'm a bit confused on why Buddie isn't being all that embraced as a vital part of the storyline is because in a way it is.

I think it spurred the writers on to lean into it heavily due to the actors chemistry and portrayal of the relationship.

Now I'm not saying he wouldn't be bi regardless, because he's always been written that way.

His interactions with worm guy, a gay married couple, Carlos (who I've been waiting to say this but I can't hold myself any longer is Latino, shorter than him, brown eyes, dark hair - Eddie lite/he had a bit of a type aka cute guys.)

I clocked him flirting with him with his cute fact spilling as a way of affection because I do it to to people I love. (🤗i love my ADHD rep!) When he saw him look at the girl he became more platonic in his interactions. Then there was Eddie.

And Eddie honestly is the biggest part of the puzzle.

Yes he likes Tommy, and I don't deny he likes strong confident (suspiciously Eddie shaped 😂) guys.

He has always been attracted to strong personalities regardless of gender.

I do think he did pursue him and I think because Tommy is gay he recognized the flirting Buck does with both men and women as that, flirting.

Eddie doesn't count cause he has a whole can of worms he gotta figure out himself.

If Buck had consistent scenes with an out queer man on the show he'd have been at least clocked. (Eddie was kind of in the way with Josh and the Dispatch crew/his gaydar pinged a lil around him)

I've been saying that now that he's canonically bisexual and it's a known fact, you can't deny he's quite literally been flirting with his best friend the entire show (as a coparent??? Idk man they both said they skip steps/impatient 🤷🏾‍♀️).

When new fans watch it it's obvious, when older fans recall it it's either enlightening or redefining that relationship regardless.

The red flags that are coming up is Eddie's statement of moving too fast and Buck literally moving to fast with his second date (i assume idk how in world time works it's a tv show 🤷🏾‍♀️) being his sister's wedding.

Realistically I know you only invite people to events like that if you're fully committed to each other for a long term thing.

I'm not saying that he's on his wheel but in a way I'm tilting my head at some similarities of Tommy and his past relationships and Buck's tendencies.

Buck will be Buck.

Tommy knows him as Evan, and calls him such.

Which didn't get me wrong cute or whatever but rubs me there wrong away, because we know he prefers Buck as it's his chosen name for a reason. It's defined him and been contextualized and even accepted by his parents.

I believe in calling people the name they choose to be called and I just don't like when that's ignored.

It also doesn't help that he continues to call him that in an episode called You don't know me (you can Even tie it in to Marisol No last name) that deals with identities and lack of knowledge.

Buck has spent most of his remaining twenties with that identity and has defended it so the casualness of him calling him that unnerves me.

It's meant to close the distance and be portrayed as romantic but it can also be interpreted as him seeing Evan, not Buck when with him.

But I did see a post that changed my perspective on calling a name with love instead can recontextualize the meaning of it and I found that sweet and fitting. In that case I can swing either way about it.

If it does make him more accepting of that side of his identity that's great that he's beginning to heal from a path when his name/personhood was used as a weapon or item.

But, I also still feel a bit iffy that it's not interchangeably used with Buck because his family and everyone he knows calls him that. Even his previous romantic partners did and I didn't mind him being called it but I would like it if both names would be used as that is the new part of him where Evan exists as well.

Also narratively they spent too much time on defining his name and what it means to him and everyone around him to not show the importance of his identity being acknowledged in a new unfamiliar relationship.

(whew i think I'm just mad at the writers or this may just be on purpose who knows 🤷🏾‍♀️)

I'm getting to the meta I promise I'm just finally processing what's been plaguing me about this relationship and i gotta let the monster out

That would also explain why he doesn't know the ADHD rants that Buck blabs on about.

But then again the episode is called you don't know me and they weren't even friends he just jumped into a relationship.

(ps you can just start dating someone and learn as you go I'm just saying 🤷🏾‍♀️)

The biggest problem with their relationship is that he's in love with his best friend.

He literally only began to open up and flirt when he realized that he wasn't a romantic threat to his family.

(Which trifling Buck! Your man can't get wined and dined?? He deserves love too!/j)

He literally relaxed/his shoulders open up when Tommy assures him that his son still loves and idolizes him and that Eddie still likes him and he's irreplaceable in his life.

After that's secured he begins to make his move and become more flirtatious (cough sexually open cough) to this confident man in his kitchen in the dim lights and glowy atmosphere.

Damn I'd kiss him too 🤷🏾‍♀️ (if I was a guy ofc)

I also didn't like the parallels of Buck being left (which has happened with his female love interests) and then Buck still having to reach out.

I don't think Tommy is bad for Buck, but I'm still not convinced that he's 100% good. But then again he's been here literally a two episodes and barely any screentime.

And the one he does makes it seem like he's interested but not too invested.

(which makes sense and I will elaborate a bit later in the meta speculation)

The Tommy that everyone is talking about exists solely in fan spaces and head canon and that's why I think I can't get into it. The facts of him are plain in the show but in the fan spaces he has a different image.

Which valid, once again he's almost a blank sheet of what we wish a Buck gets and deserves in a love interest but that's what he is as of now. A blank-ish sheet. Kind of like a projection sheet for movies.

Tommy seems like a caring partner and sure of himself. He's shown himself to be funny, considerate, and as unhinged as the rest of the 118 (ah the fruity fire badasses).

Also i wanna point your Buck likes em a lil older sometimes haha

But back on topic, I can see Tommy being like Natalia (which makes sense as that storyline could've been used) In the fact that he sees that the space in his life is occupied and respectfully backs out.

My meta for 7.06 is this.

Tommy helps out somehow. Buck is ecstatic rightfully so.

They kiss dance and are cute.

The family is very welcoming, the 118 is still loving, but then he sees something that affirms his suspicions.

It's a normal scene for us.

Either Buck is taking care of Chris and then talks to Eddie.

He sees the look in Buck's eyes and the fondness there. He looks at Eddie and sees the same on his face.

He notices how they work together and laugh, them at the family and life he's built all around him, and decides he can't be apart of this. There's no space for him.

It feels too real too fast and he'll only end to heartbroken because he's just interested, not invested yet.

So he gracefully bows out and let's him know that he has enough love in his life if he'd just look for it.

(i also found out he used the word interested in the cafe scene where i recognized it as the ana date. Also Buck was wearing a white patterned shirt and i had a heart attack because it wasn't great the last time he wore it 😬)

Then it leads into ghost of a second chance.

(now imma say this i will be posting more specs about the these episodes I'm just on my buddie storyline juice rn)

This is now Buck trying to salvage/figure out what went wrong and maybe try to contact him again.

In the case of Marisol it's safe to assume they break up, the reason why isn't clear.

It could be related to his sisters disapproval of their relationship (as they're supposed to be coming out did the show forget??) or apprehension towards her as they've been raised/watched him grow up.

They know what makes him happy.

For ghost a second chance I didn't have much buddie assumptions but I'm pretty sure that one is more in relation to other members of the cast most likely and maybe Buck trying to salvage his relationship.

7.08-10 isn't complete so who knows🤷🏾‍♀️ how they must switch it up for more drama?

But I will say, we gotta dive into the Eddie of it all.

Y'all thought I forgot about him?

The bi Buck storyline isn't complete without Eddie either romantically or platonically.

In real life their queer storylines were always interchangeable and they're both feeling out the GA and fans reaction.

Buddie not going canon doesn't make sense because realistically it's one of the biggest ships and the most talked about things for the online fans.

It's a good reason many fans started (me included🙋🏾‍♀️) and stay (if the beautiful found family didn't hit it for them).

The way that they were both discussed and Ryan is fine with Buddie still kind of matches his character honestly. Demi Eddie is a head canon and honestly Eddie would only be comfortable with dating a man at this stage of his life if it's someone he loves already aka Buck.

There could be other reasons but as a Buddie warrior truther (as they named it which is still so insane) as his old interviews alluded to the fact that he loves Buck so much he can't really see himself with another guy he just met like that.

He also maybe wanted a easier storyline as he had always been a bit of a heavy character.

For women it's easier as he's raised to do it and it's "natural" or right for him to do so.

His parents said it, the church says it, God says it so it must be right.

He loves commitment, has said he's a nester and constantly yearns for a family unit.

The only family unit he knows of it feels is acceptable due to his upbringing is man, woman, child.

Not that he's homophobic cause duh, HenRen is literally there, but his standards and pressure doesn't even let him fathom it for himself.

It's also likely if the demi part is true, he's highly unlikely to be like Buck and view others sexually and even realize he's able to have a family/relationship with a man.

I suspect no Buddie this season. I actually hope and pray for it.

Because from both a business and story point it's best to keep the will-they won't-they into season 8 to keep viewers engaged/tuning in and not to rush the story and get some really good emotional moments.

I won't lie I miss the angst we got in the other seasons and as a result the show's identity with Eddie has faltered a bit.

I didn't love episode 5 but I didn't hate it. I still enjoy the show and if they feel a bit unusual it's okay.

There were still some great moments in it.

Eddie's character is now happy but as a result he's also somewhat unfamiliar (that speaks to the whump heavy storylines he has) as he seems less mature. You can argue now that he has a stable support system he's able to let loose because he knows his needs will be covered.

That's also a great point and easy way of showing his development.

His Catholic guilt now that it's been introduced will have to be deconstructed as he will have to redefine his life, what he's looking for/allow himself to be and dare to dream of a life not given to him by someone else or pressure.

This season he's only just started to accept things that make him feel good (which for now is Marisol) and be open and honest about it.

I can argue it is a great sign of improvement of his character.

A bit ooc portrayal yes, but the message of looking deeper still applies.

This can apply to Buddie probably leading through the next half of season 7 by being ramped up and then going full speed ahead season 8.

At the time though since they're still writing they may take a hard right turn and keep it platonic (😭).

But what would be inevitable is Eddie's coming out/self discovery arc that isn't tied to the church or sense of duty.

Which yay! More self discovery I love the message of finding yourself lasts throughout your life and due to life's unexpected events you can change to be a better version of yourself all the time.

We got bi buck (which evidently was influenced by Eddie in some way) now let's free Eddie to even if they didn't do it for Buddie (once again😭😭😭).

Now that I've got it mostly off my chest I'm definitely gonna do an analysis of the parallels and the way it's played pt.2 (and more as seasons passed cause Ryan and Oliver 😘 muah 10/10 no notes).

Okay bye.

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cellophaine · 1 year

Text

Adornment

Kinktober Masterlist

Pairing: sot!dark!Matt Murdock x F!Reader

Warnings: Choking – soft!dark!Matt, possessive tendency, masturbation.

Author's Note: This is somewhat different from what I usually write. I do hope that it’s a good difference 🤞

GIF Credit: found on @malydiamakingifhunts-blog

Matt knew he shouldn't have done what he did. He knew it was wrong, yet he couldn't help but do it anyway. His Catholic guilt triumphed over most things, keeping him on the righteous path. Still, he strayed when it came to being the Devil of Hell's Kitchen, and you.

Holding the lacy slip of fabric in his hand, Matt strode to the safety and comfort of his bed, dropping his entire weight onto it. The mattress dipped, moulding to his body of lean muscles and pure strength. His heart was loud, still reeling from the thrill of what he had just done. Bringing the flimsy fabric up, he draped it over his face before nosing the material and taking a deep breath. His nostrils were filled with your scent, and his mind strayed to where he was just minutes before.

It was earlier that day, sometime in the afternoon, when you told him and Foggy about your plan for the night. You would go out, catching up with a few friends over dinner and a few drinks at a new bar in Soho. If you were lucky, your friends would let you off the hook a bit after a sufficient amount of booze. However, knowing your friends' habits, which had been a long time since you last saw them, you knew it would take longer than that. “I'm expecting to stay out well after midnight,” you said, buzzing with reluctant excitement. Which made it perfect for Matt to execute his plan. He did his nightly routine like usual, but he returned much earlier this time. Matt broke into your apartment by the window you always left open and took his time to get to know your apartment. His hands ran over your deco, your furniture, the softness of your bed. Your vanity was a mess, but it didn't take him long to figure out where your perfume was. Matt sprayed some on his wrist and along the column of his neck, hoping your scent would linger around long after he left your place. Before he took off, Matt made sure to take a souvenir for himself, which was why he was now in possession of your lace panties.

He wasn't sure why he chose this one. They all smelled like you, like your laundry detergent, fabric softener and a distinct undertone of very subtle vanilla. The lace felt scratchy on his skin, but the rest of it was a nicer type of cotton. If he had to be honest, Matt never really gravitated towards lace found on his fleeting sexual partners. It felt rough on his sensitive skin. But, he loved to imagine how it would feel when he ran his hands over the details that hugged your hips snugly, tracing the indent they made on your skin once he dipped his hand below the lace band. He wondered how it would feel if he could pull the cotton aside and fuck you until you begged him to stop.

Matt closed his eyes, his mind laser-focused on you. He recalled your softness on the times he came into contact with your bare skin. You often offered your arm to him when the two of you needed to walk somewhere. His hand would close over the crook of your arm, and sometimes, he couldn't help but stroke the skin there gently, in a back-and-forth motion that brought him and you a sense of calmness. There were accidental touches here and there when you handed him his Braille files, a cup of coffee or his coat. The slip of your hand against his always made his knees weak, for your skin was so soft, warm, and inviting.

While his mind ran wild with his recollection of the feel of you, his hands worked at his belt, pulling down the fly of his pants to free his cock from the snug boxers. The hard length bounced and sat heavily, the tip red and leaking with pre-cum. He began to stroke himself slowly and imagined that it was your hand in place of his. It was you kneeling between his legs and working him up, not him and his acute memory of your softness. With each intake of breath, Matt could smell you, imploring your scent to intoxicate him to the point of no return.

His mind strayed to how it would feel like to have you in his bed. Were you a dominant type, or were you more submissive? He could please you either way. But right now, he craved the feel of your gentle hand wrapping around his throat like a statement piece that complimented his scarred skin. His hand moved faster, squeezing along the veiny length. Matt sighed, pulling the lace and cotton on his face to rest on his neck and pretending it was your hand; his lust-drunken mind made it almost feel real. He would wear it with every ounce of pride in his body, for he knew he was owned the moment you stepped into Nelson and Murdock. The warmth, spice and vanilla in your perfume invaded his senses when Matt offered his hand for you to shake, beginning his doom before he knew it. With each day you worked together, he grew more enamoured with your wits, sarcastic nature and resilience. You owned him, and you didn't even know it. He wanted your grip on his throat so tight that it hurt him and left marks on his skin. There would be your hand print on his neck, and even though Matt couldn't see them, he could feel the ache, sensing the bruises forming. He would hide your marks behind dress shirts and ties, even scarves, so it would be your and his secret only. No one else had to know. Matt wanted you to restrict his breathing so hard that he would feel lightheaded. He trusted you that much.

His fantasy exploded out of his control, and so did the pace of his strokes. Panting hard, his teeth bit down on his bottom lip, muffling his broken shout of release. Cum shot out of his mushroom tip, splattering on his black attire. He kept pumping the fleeting fantasy and the phantom feel of your skin until the hot fluid trailed down the length of his cock, making a mess of his hand. Matt stroked himself until there was nothing left, then he let his arm fall to the side. With the clean hand, he grasped at your panties, which still smelled like you, but now it had a little of him, too.

You weren't his, but he would make sure that you belonged to nobody else.

*Likes, reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated!*

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 8 months

Note

AITA for not telling someone her boyfriend cheated on her with me.

TLDR at the bottom.

So this all started when I (21M) and the boyfriend (Garrett 21M) were 16. I really liked him and we had some history. After months of pining, I made a move but he took it the wrong way and we ended up being FwB.

Fast forward a few months and he’s being…weird. Ignoring me during the school day only to bounce back to wanting to be around me, telling me he feels guilty about sleeping with me (he was catholic) then acting like I’m being an idiot when I don’t initiate sex, generally just dodging my attempts to interact outside of sex and getting my help on homework. At this point I’m fairly certain he knew I liked him romantically so I figured he was acting weird because of that and asked for space. He gave me a bit of time but when I started to hang around him again he started guilting me over ‘abandoning him again.’

Like I said earlier, we had history. We dated for a couple months when we were 15 and after I broke up with him, I didn’t really talk to him much for the summer. He guilt-tripped me a lot over this and dating someone else after him and I fell for it hook-line-and-sinker. I was into him and didn’t see the red flags.

Anyway, after graduation we ended up going to college at the same place and continuing being FWB and I kept doing homework with him. However, pretty soon after we got up there, he confronted me about telling my friend, Hannah (15F when we were 18 so 18 now) about us being FwB. He made me promise I’d tell her we stopped and wouldn’t tell anyone else, then used that to guilt me even more.

For context, Hannah was friends with my little sister and I ended up being her ride everyday after school and we had a lot of the same after school activities. She knew about the FwB thing because I’d talk to her and my sisters about how I was so into him but couldn’t tell if he liked me back because he was so erratic in how much affection he showed me. Garrett met Hannah a bit before we left for college at a get-together and apparently they exchanged numbers.

So, a bit into school I get a call from Hannah and she tells me she couldn’t hide it anymore and that her and Garrett have been together since the week we left for school. I’m horrified because 1. I’m still sleeping with Garrett and 2. She’s 15 and in high school. I was kind of in shock and sick to my stomach so I didn’t say anything at that time. Looking back, I can see now that this is why he was so insistent I tell her we broke things off and why he’d been guilt-tripping me so much about telling her I’m the first place (despite him also telling one of his friends).

As soon as I could, I got Garrett to come over to my place and confronted him. He started telling me about how they hadn’t actually been together, just talking to see if they’d be able to handle long distance, and I once again fell for it. He tells me that they officially got together over the weekend he went home and that’s why Hannah called me. I told him I wasn’t comfortable with it and that it freaked me out he was dating someone that much younger and that we won’t be sleeping together again.

A few weeks go by and he’s at my place almost every night and nothing happens. And then there’s a little cuddling and it’s like I’m with that boy I first met who was nice to me all the time and freely gave physical affection. It’s important to note here that this was during lockdown and I had no roommates. He was the only person I saw consistently and I hadn’t seen my family in months. If he wanted to throw an arm over my shoulder or let me put my feet across his lap then I was going to let him, I was touch starved as hell and hadn’t had so much as a handshake from anyone but him in months.

One night cuddling turns into me on his lap but nothing really happens and I end up telling him I’m taking him home. The next time he comes over, he climbs in my lap and to avoid this getting too personal, he basically does everything he knows I like until I kiss him back. And then word for word says “I was wondering when you’d give in.”

We ended up sleeping together a couple more times before it finally stopped for good because we both felt guilty. Around the time it stopped, I’d also been hanging out with his roommate and our mutual friend a lot and he had started getting explosively angry anytime we’d hang out without him even if we’d invited him and he’d turned us down, then he’d guilt me again over how lonely and left out he felt after he’d yelled at me. About this time I started realizing how manipulative he’d been and shortly after found out he’d been lying to both me and his roommate about various things to keep us separated and me isolated.

But yeah, so Hannah. I was planning on telling Hannah, but I didn’t know how to do it without Garrett retaliating. He’s got anger issues, is taller than me, and has photos of me I’d really rather not get out and knew my address. So I planned to tell Hannah after I’d moved over the summer.

But then things with Hannah went south. I’m not going to get into it, but basically she said and did some messed up things and I told her I didn’t want to talk to her anymore. But she kept texting me, would drive hours to my campus and would text me that she saw me and wanted to talk. I kept telling her not to contact me and it got to the point that I was afraid of her finding out where I worked and cornering me. I had to threaten to call the police to get her to stop.

As far as I know, she and Garrett are still together and I still feel guilty about not telling her he cheated on her with me, especially because those last few times I knew it was cheating. I’m not scared of Garrett anymore, but more so that contacting her will lead to her texting me all the time again and destroy any case I have for harassment.

TLDR: My emotional manipulative ex FWB used me to cheat on his underage girlfriend, and I never told her because I 1) was afraid of him retaliating and 2) don’t want to contact her after she stalked me.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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jaeclerc · 7 months

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my maxiel demon WIP that is mostly just vibes rn LOLLLL but i wanted to share:

if max had known that having gay sex in the catholic church would have cursed him to an eternity of bullshit, he would’ve just gone to confession and prayed away the gay like the rest of his peers. but instead he decided to fuck in one of the confession stalls in the mid 80s and then pass away shortly afterwards from a very untimely grape to the airway, which cursed him to an eternity of doing the devil’s bidding. the devil liked to call himself daniel, but max hated calling the devil anything other than The Devil because if he gave him a name then maybe he’d be a bit more personable. max would have to admit that daniel (the devil) wasn’t too bad of a guy.

he himself told max that he didn’t tempt him to fuck in a church, he didn’t even have time to deal with max, too busy dealing with actual sinners. max was just gay and had an insane amount of catholic guilt. but hell was punishment and max’s punishment was to be the dynamic demon duo with another gay 19 year old, only this one was from monaco and obnoxious. he had apparently committed the sin of fucking the priest and then managed to have a very early in life heart attack.

(“he was so hot, max. i had to!”)

max had been working with charles for 40 years. that’s a long time to spend with someone when both of you had passed away at 19 and were forever demon-ized in those bodies and minds. if he looked super deep within he could even admit that charles was his best friend.

daniel, the devil, had them working on the sinner example enforcement division (SEED for short much to max’s chagrin), going out and seducing Actual Real Life Sinners in order to entrap them and enforce that they made terrible mistakes that were actually important to the devil. like trafficking and abusing people. many of them, much to charles’ chagrin and disgust, resided in monaco, which meant that max and charles had to go there often to perform their jobs. they often donned the skins of socialites in order to properly entrap them.

daniel, despite popular opinion, was not the ever eternal enticer but rather the ever eternal enforcer. he was not the opposite of the upside (what he called Heaven) but actually their guard dog, making sure that humans didn’t stomp over each other’s free will. in the event they did, they were swiftly met with punishment, one that hopefully set them straight enough to run tail tucked back to church and having morals.

he sent charles and max out to do the dirty work before he came in, dressed like the worst millennial one has ever seen and met. he was always floating for some reason, maybe to really pack the punch that he was The Devil and he was alive (kinda) to deliver holy justice.

often, the Big Sinners would proverbially spit in his face and brag about what they’ve done. that usually brought in the wrath of daniel, red horns sprouting, tail whipping faster than a human eye can see as he struck them, lashing them. the end of his tail was like a hot poker, searing into their skin and lasting longer than humanly possible.

most gave in after that; some didn’t. so he would lash them again, telling them to repent. if they didn’t repent, he would continue to do it until they did or until their soul joined the three of them, which they would drag back to Hell and throw into the fiery pits.

while charles and max had committed sins, they never hurt anyone. they just offended God. that’s why they were demons rather than spirits, they had the ability to exist even if they had already passed. most souls that came to Hell were souls that needed to be sent up the upside, a few were those who needed to be sent to neutral grounds while the angel courts debated their lives. an even smaller few were those who needed to actually be thrown into the pits. the smallest few would be turned into either angels or demons.

when max met his first angel, a boy named lando, he was shocked to learn that lando was also gay, like him and charles. and had acted upon it. the difference was that he had not offended God, but rather had acted graciously in his name for his entire short life.

max was even more shocked to learn that daniel had selected both him and charles to be demons.

(“i had a soft spot for you both! two gay boys who had both done something homosexual and personally offended toto within days of each other. and then died? sign me up!” god presented himself as a 6’5 austrian dilf. it was very odd, the first time max had met him. god was hot.)

the minor Big Sinners would usually just shit themselves at the appearance of daniel, even without his horns and with his dorky backwards hat. but the whole floating bit did probably help, as well as his candy red tail being held up menacingly, threatening even if daniel had his dimples out and smile on. max doesn’t know if he’d personally be scared of daniel in that form, but he thinks he’s probably biased based off the fact that he watched daniel sob over the notebook a few too many times to count.

(charles tells max that it’s actually probably because he wants to have sex with daniel. charles doesn’t know what he’s talking about. max tells him so, but charles counters that he has a boyfriend and max doesn’t. max personally thinks that the angel that charles fucked after a session of angel court doesn’t count, but who is he to actually say. that angel has been around for like. at least 10 years.

actually max is pretty sure that the angel, who has a name that max refuses to ever acknowledge that he remembers, has been living with them for the past 5 years. he does see sebastian often. like every day after his shift as daniel’s PA.)

their duties after they repent are usually done. some of them take another enforcement session. most of them have the fear of toto put into them and don’t ever commit a big enough sin to ping on their radar.

most of being a demon is just: sit around with charles, being daniel’s assistant, and enforcing the laws of heaven. it’s pretty boring, which is probably the actual punishment to his offense of toto. he gets to be out of his mind bored for eternity or until daniel dies. daniel is a young devil incarnation, but he’s still going to die someday, once society has evolved for a new god, devil, and court. the demons that he created will go with him. nobody wants to serve a new master, especially demons. especially max.

if he reaches deep down, even past the part that admits charles is actually his best friend, he sees that he quite likes daniel. daniel made sure that he always had a friend, daniel always made sure that he knew that his sin wasn’t being gay, it was fucking in a church, and he made sure that max felt comfortable in his after-life. as comfortable as a demon could feel.

if he reached the deepest, most barren hidden parts of himself, he could admit that he wanted to kiss daniel. what type of demon decides that he wants to fuck the devil? not for power but just because he thinks that The Devil is quite sweet and always makes him laugh.

The Devil is delightfully immature while also guiding max through the after life and an infinity of service to the heavens and earth with a maturity that surprises.

max had once asked daniel when he had become The Devil. daniel had looked away before saying he wasn’t exactly sure of the year because it was the middle of the war. the war to end all wars, and he was deep in it, fighting in the Australian army when he got taken. he woke up to toto staring at him with a curled lip and rolled eyes, muttering about the previous devil and his choice of a protégé. he was the new incarnation, as there was a new extreme evil that had been brewing. they never really said what but it was easy to tell the implications, the way the world had seemed to be falling apart.

corporate greed and exploitation was probably what called about a new incarnation, of god, the devil, and all the heavenly figures. who knew, for sure? all they could say was that the universe had decided that it was time, and when it was time for them to go, they would know.

daniel had seen the way the world moves. the way it evolved and devolved. it reflected on his bright red eyes, the mirroring of the flames. that was also the natural appearance of the devil, a reflection of fire in cherry red eyes, but daniel’s eyes always seemed to take on more a brown tint when he spoke of his past, turning slightly sad and dark.

and then he cracked a dick joke and max laughed so hard he wheezed and these moments were over, but max imagines that it probably made his heart ache when he saw how his death, the death of his peers, and those he killed were all for nothing with the second war came. and then all the wars after that. the way the world changed vastly with the evolution of human invention, creating ways for humanity to become even more depraved. ways for humans to suffer even more.

#maxiel #max verstappen #daniel ricciardo #demon au #IDKKKK i’ll probably come back to this #maxiel fic #f1 fic #f1 fic rec #f1

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sneakerdoodle · 4 months

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I don't mean to be That Guy, but I just started reading some of your pinned essays (they're really good, by the way) and I noticed you referred to the camp in WKTD as Catholic, when I'm reasonably sure it's meant to be Protestant (what with the focus on "faith" over "good works" (as seen in Jupiter's speech in the Red ending, re: "it's only in your heart what matters") (also in this Protestant context "I wasn't born good" is very representative of Calvinist predestination ideas, which is often one of the most yikes parts about Protestantism), among other things)? I hope this doesn't come across as rude, I really do like your writing and analysis, I'm just hoping to inform and/or learn that actually you and a bunch of other people were all aware of some Catholic thing in the game that I missed and actually I was the wrong one.

hey, thank you for reaching out!! you found me out LOL i talk a big game but i actually have an extremely approximate understanding of either the Catholic or the Protestant churches - my only firsthand (and fairly limited) experience is with the Russian Orthodox church, and i think i just kinda absorbed this vague idea of Catholic Guilt™ from hearing other people throw the expression around, but I never got around to fully defining it to myself or figuring out the minute detail of the Catholic vs Protestant experience, and sometimes i do also make the mistake of kind of unconsciously lumping them together in my mind because to me both are equally culturally foreign

so yeah i'm very far from well-versed in the different branches of Christianity, which I hope does not discredit me too much as a Person With Many Words To Say about the Christian guilt complex and trauma and their exploration in media; i really really appreciate your insight, and i will add a note at the top of the essay clarifying this all in a bit :) would you be okay with me linking your ask for credit? and don't worry at all about seeming rude or anything like that, i'm honestly just really grateful you're engaging with my writing enough to reach out and talk to me about it! (glad you're enjoying yourself, too!) if i make any broad assumptions in any other piece of writing you can freely chuck that up to either a lack of thorough and conscious first-hand examination or my brain being a bit hurried and overexcited, so feel free to add any thoughts or corrections you believe would make the conversation more productive overall; but i do also appreciate being given enough credit for you to wonder if i have an actual Good Reason to think one thing over another. i would absolutely always invite any further conversation, and i hope it's not in any way disappointing that i'm not quite qualified to explore this specific one in more detail :) tyvm for sharing your knowledge, & have a good day!

#gonna put this in the tag because i think this is rly interesting #we know the devil #wktd #i havent seen any official info from the creators themselves but if anyone does know if they were going for one specific thing over another #do let me know thatd be really cool to learn

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feelmyskinonyourskin · 1 year

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Take What You Need - Part 1: Let the Devil Out

Matt Murdock x Female Reader

Part 2 | Part 3

Series Masterlist | My Masterlist

Warnings: SMUT/18+ ONLY. Female reader (anatomy and implication of she/her pronouns) No use of Y/N. Established relationship. Red Suit DD. Oral sex (M receiving), unprotected P in V (be safe IRL), P in V with no prep, DomMatt, choking, lil bit of breeding kink, aftercare.

Summary: The first time Matt takes you up on your offer to take what he needs. After a night of patrolling doesn't calm the devil inside, you offer for him to take it out on you.

WC: 1801

Matthew Murdock is a giver by nature – whether it’s the deep-seated catholic guilt, the childhood trauma of never having his emotional needs met, or just his naturally innate personality. For whatever reason, he is incapable of taking for himself, rarely ever utters or even thinks the words I need.

You discovered quickly into your relationship with him that also very much applied to his habits in the bedroom. He would have himself slotted between your thighs for hours, pulling orgasm after orgasm from you like it was just another day in court, but when it came time for you to return the favor, he’d shutter away from the notion. Behave as if it were a nuisance. Only give himself the pleasure for your satisfaction more than his.

Matthew, take what you need became a prayer on your lips that he very rarely answered.

That was until tonight.

The streets of Hell’s Kitchen were volatile lately. Gangs, muggers, hitmen – just to name a few of the characters he’d run into recently. He stumbled home bloody and bruised more times than he’d care to count over the past few weeks.

The crisp air nips at the little skin he has exposed, making his bones ache, seeping into him like a thousand needles. Every molecule of the blood-stained suit he wears rubs against his skin in a fiery itch. Even the faintest of sounds from the street below sends his ears into a frenzy. Not to mention the smells – copper from the blood, garbage and gasoline from the streets of New York, and sweat from his own body.

His senses are in overdrive. He’s irritable, itching for a release to calm his twitchy nervous system back into place. Even a night spent beating up the worst of Hell’s Kitchen is not enough.

A soft but familiar heartbeat cuts through the anguish and draws his attention to you, enjoying the dawning morning from a spot just outside his roof access door. He makes the final leap across rooftops and strides forward, head cocked to hone his senses to only you.

You stand to meet him, discarding the plaid throw blanket from your shoulders.

“I couldn’t sleep. Came up to get fresh air and wait for…” You begin to explain, but are cut off by him pulling your body against his and his mouth smashing into yours.

His kisses are immediately intense. Fervent. More teeth than tongue.

Between the violent attack of kisses and the stark contrast of his warm body pressed against yours in the cool dawn air, you’re left breathless, even a bit dizzy. But before you can orient yourself, he’s spinning you around and pushing you through the door that leads into his home, grasping at any part of your body he can get his hands on.

Because as this city tears him down to nothing but fragile atoms, burning every part of him as deeply as the fires of hell to which he feels his sins condemn him, there you are to save his soul.

You pull away from his kisses only for a moment, to let out a familiar request.

“Take what you need, Matthew”

And for the first time, he accepts your gracious offer.

“On your knees. Now.” he commands through his shaky exhales with a tilt of his chin.

The realization he was finally resigning to selfishness sends a fire of anticipation through your veins. Not wanting to give him any opportunity to rethink it, you scramble to drop down to your knees with a creak of the wood floor beneath you.

He licks his lips the way he always does when he’s on edge. Fiddling with the pants of his crimson devil suit for a moment until his cock springs free, already unbearably hard.

As he runs his gloved finger over your lips, he swallows thickly.

“Open.”

He pushes himself inside your mouth as soon as you part your lips.

A shudder runs through him when he reaches the back of your throat. Then he does as you requested – he takes. Thrusting in and out with no regard to how you’re gagging and choking on his length. His thick thighs offer a stable surface for you to grasp and through your lashes you look up and meet the red eyes of his mask. The eyes of the devil.

And what a devilish sin it is, Matt thinks to himself, to give in so fully to his desires. To fight so hard against his selfless instincts.

Tears spring to your eyes with every rut of his pelvis while your strangled moans encourage him to keep fucking your willing mouth. If he continues at this pace, he knows he will finish before fully having you in the way he wants.

No. The way he needs.

Grasping at your throat, he pulls out from you, heavy boots stomping backward to orient himself. Warm spit dribbles down your chin. You gasp at the now empty space around you and it’s suffocating.

“Still with me?” His breathing is ragged and uneven as he finally speaks again.

“Yes”

He wastes no time, bending down to strip you of your clothes quickly. They flutter over the side of the railing into the living room below. A soft contrast to the plonking sound of his gloves haphazardly being discarded as well and meeting the same fate as your pajamas below.

“Turn around.” he orders with a nod of his chin

Now bare beneath him, you comply and turn to face away. Your hands grasp at the spindles that cage the landing in, also now caging you into his unrestrained desires.

Desperation seeps from your every pore like watercolors bleeding across a canvas, your thundering heartbeat and the slick between your legs alerting Matt’s hypersenses to your readiness. He nudges at your entrance with the head of his cock, not wishing to waste another moment apart from you.

Any remaining shred of control is lost. The sound of his sex meeting yours and the warmth of your arousal is enough to make him lose it. He plunges all the way in with a vicious thrust of his hips, allowing no time for your cunt to adjust. And then he’s desperately rutting into you, breathy little moans escaping with every push of his hips.

“Matthew!” you cry out as satisfying pain burns through you.

The sensation of finally indulging in his own needs and desires first is so foreign to him, to be given so much with no expectation in return. He knows this must truly be what it means to let the devil out - to fully blur the line between man and demon.

The rough woven fabric of his suit burns against your exposed back as his thrusts become harsher. Tonight the praise that usually slips from his lips as your bodies meet is replaced by only harsh moans and grunts.

You’re fully pliable to his touch now, eyes brimming with tears moments away from spilling over your lids and staining your cheeks. He can taste them in the air, as he adjusts his pace and begins pounding into the spot guaranteed to unravel you quickly. Your growing whimpers alerting him that he’s got you exactly where he wants you, teetering towards your undoing. At this point, you’re well aware that he’s toying with you, edging you to your limit for his own gratification, full control over when and how you cum. If that’s the only thing he feels like he can control at this point, you’ll let him have it.

He leans forward to wrap his arm around your front and capture your throat in his grasp while his other hand runs desperately up and down your body, grabbing and groping at every inch of exposed skin.

If this was the intensity at which he patrolled and protected, you understood why the underbelly of this city only dared whisper about the man in the mask. But you weren’t afraid of him letting the devil out. If anything it was relieving to submit fully to his mercy – to fully know the parts of him he so desperately wanted to hide from you.

Reaching above where the two of you are joined, his tepid fingers harshly rub at your clit, coaxing you towards your end almost as furiously as his mind has been racing this evening. He doesn’t miss the cues your body is giving – the arch of your back, the intensified way your cunt is squeezing around him, more and more of you dripping onto him. Knowing the fire within him wont fully extinguish until he feels you meet your release.

You can barely think straight from the sheer intensity of your pleasure as your orgasm floods your system, finally breaking him free of the unruly angst he felt tonight. The vibrations in your chest as you continue to whimper and recover from your high pull him into the abyss along with you. He’s panting harshly as he cums, his whole body shaking as frazzled grunts spill from his lips. Electricity ricocheting between the two of you as he spills deep inside, finally placating the burning itch.

A new pain appears (in addition to the ache in your knees and the releasing tension of your muscles) the horns of his devil mask poking into your shoulder blades as he rests his forehead on your exposed back. His grip releases from your throat to find the hand you have clutched to the spindles, lacing his fingers with yours.

The stabbing of the horns are quickly replaced by featherlight kisses. Calmness washes over him in a tidal wave with the act of giving pleasure to flesh, not pain. It feels like an eternity until he finally pulls himself from you, his breathing now steady and even.

“C’mon, let’s get cleaned up” he speaks, almost in a whisper, as he paws at your soft flesh, assisting you to your feet and gingerly guiding you down the stairs.

A warm shower and a massage of your shoulders later, you’re snuggled together under silk sheets, not daring to give in to the sleep you both desperately need. Afterall, the harsh cries of your morning alarm are any moment away.

Matt holds you near, running long circles with his hands up and down the exposed flesh of your arms and back. As he embraces you, he marvels at how easily you offered yourself to him tonight and how willingly you gave, just as he does in nearly every aspect of his life. The thought grounds him, more than being buried inside you already has.

The pink and blue glows of the night time billboard through the large, loft windows are now washed away with the warmth of morning sunlight and the last signs of the devil inside finally dissipate with the rising sun.

NEXT CHAPTER

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gerardway-is-my-babygirl · 3 months

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Okay I have to know: your top 3 mcr songs for Dracfield and why 🙏

AGHHH THIS IS SUCH A GOOD QUESTION I love combining my hyperfixations so much!!

This post Is long(as all of my Dracfield posts are) so I'm putting It under the cut

Obviously House of Wolves Is a Renfield coded song. It definitely fits him during the early days of him being a familiar, he's severely Infatuated with Dracula and willing to do anything for him, while still acknowledging that hes an awful person for doing so

"tell me I'm a bad man, kick me like a stray", hes aware of what hes doing but hes starting to accept It, though he still knows he deserves punishments for It. Also dogboy Renfield

In my mind It's a song that would play while hes on a killing spree, embracing that hes a sinner and knowing that hes going to Hell. I think hes always suffered with catholic guilt because of his queerness and MCR are literally the kings of catholic guilt and homosexuality so the song Is about him sinning by killing people and by being gay

For the 2nd song I'd have to say It's Not a Fashion Statement, It's a Deathwish because It's about being revived and Immortality. I think Dracula has had to revive Renfield dozens of times over the years and now Ren has turned Into an almost Immortal being. It's literally like In the actual story for Three Cheers, because the devil keeps bringing the Demolition Man back to life over and over again just so he can kill people. (Renny and the Demolition Man are very similar, at least to me) Also I think at the last verse Is kind of like him singing to Dracula about how one day they'll be dead together, since he still has some hope that Dracula can die

Also "from the razor to the rosary, we could lose ourselves and paint these walls in pitchfork red" Is such a perfect lyric for them. Murderous husbands

3rd song Is Famous Last Words, It fits Renfield post-Dracula so well. He's finally free and able to live his life again, he's no longer afraid of being alive. Although Renfield still loves Dracula, he Isn't scared of being alone because he has discovered he can find new purposes In life and he no longer needs Dracula to make him feel complete.

"A love that's so demanding, I get so weak, a love that's so demanding, I can't speak" Its literally him and Dracula! His love for his Master has turned him Into a weak-willed and obedient servant, rather than an equal lover. He Is devoted to Dracula, while Dracula could let him go and not feel even the tiniest bit of guilt or regret (at least In Renfield's eyes). He literally can't speak because he's spent all of his life In Dracula's shadow, always quiet and unable to express his own thoughts, forced to listen to and obey Dracula's demands.

He's no longer the quiet, obedient follower that he was molded Into, he Is free from hiding In the shadows and fearing every moment he's alive. Now he has the power and bravery to keep on living.

#that was. a lot #thank you so much for this ask I love these two things so damn much #I could have spoken so much more about why they fit dracfield but we'd be here for years #also I think renfield's favourite album would be TBP #or danger days.. Idk I just get that vibe from him #I will never stop Infodumping about mcr and renfield #the brainrot Is so powerful #dracfield #dracula #renfield #renfield 2023 #mcr

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vivelarevolution13 · 16 days

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Helloho, for the ask game:

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

and

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

Thank you! :)

Hi hi, thanks for the ask! <3 🔪 ⇢ oh man, not sure if this is that much of a weird one (or I just don't know what's normal anymore), but I do have several leaked CIA manuals saved as PDFs on my computer?? mostly just bc it's informative & horrifyingly eyeopening in general. I like to research a lot of sociopolitical stuff, or at least I try to, so a lot of highly specific Cold War/WWII/present day intelligence apparatus things tend to end up in my search history. Other than that not to go the "winter soldier + red room umbrella" cop out route, but...winter soldier + red room umbrella. Lots of layman's psychiatry & neuroscience, accounts of drug effects/use, lots of "asking for a friend but theoretically what would happen to your body long term if you had XYZ happen to you and walked away", waaay too much on JFK/other assassinations, lots of stuff on weapons specs and indoctrination and "gangs in St Petersburg in the 1980s?" and stuff like that.

Also like... which kinds of birds were native to NYC in the early 20th century and the relevance of catholic socialism in working class circles and medical papers on the side effects of the use of stramonium in asthma cigarettes, lol. (That might be one of the more specific ones, objectively.)

Again, this all feels pretty typical for Cap fics so idk how weird it is (and it's just a fun learning experience overall and mostly doesn't even end up in the writing) but I feel like my IP's on a lot of very confused yet suspect government lists at this point.

🧩 ⇢ oof, this one is rough. I try to always give fics with a good desc & tags benefit of the doubt, but I've also been around long enough that I can kind of tell if something's going to put me off, y'know? I guess I'm not a big fan of infantilizing adult characters or coddling relationships, especially if it's presented as an unproblematic given. I like softness as much as the next person, and I'm all for protectiveness and loyalty and comfort being at the core of both friendships and romantic relationships, but I like when it's a mutual thing that was arrived at after some time or even after it being a point of conflict/misunderstanding bc people deal with this stuff in many weird, differing, sometimes counterproductive ways.

In stevebucky fics esp while I love that element between them, I'm really not huge on Bucky bundling pre-serum Steve up to hide him away from the mean mean world, primarily because I think it would make Steve want to bludgeon him with a shovel for it repeatedly and Bucky would know that, and vice versa for them post-CATWS + dealing with each other's guilt (+ even and maybe especially the Sam-Steve relationship as it pertains to that as well). Which is not to say that I don't love to read about these conflicts being explored or a good "I want to help you PLEASE let me help you"/"you shut the fuck up and sit in the corner and hold my hand while I deal with my shit on my own" dynamic even if it's borderline unhealthy or codependent at a point - I just think it takes a bit of friction to make it interesting to read about and for it to arrive at a satisfying point in the end.

#thanks again! this was very fun and tbh a very good way to get me thinking about writing again :)#but also at the same time jfc I am...so sorry it got so long yikes. I really need to work on my word count on these #asks #booksandabeer

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spamano-fanfiction-recs · 9 months

Text

Between Heaven and Hell

This is a collection of spamano fanfics with demons, priests, angels, and religious themes. If you've been craving some of that catholic guilt in fanfiction, this is definitely a place to go.

To note: anything written in red contains smut, anything written in green contains content warnings, but not smut. Only finished fics are recommended here. Always check the tags and description on the individual fic, don't read anything just to criticise the author, and I hope you have a good reading!

Demonic:

Seven Deadly Sins by TheFreakZone: Lovino moves into a house, and soon finds out he's not alone – he's rooming with seven demons each representing one of the deadly sins. At the same time, he has a crush on this guy, Antonio...

Devil!Toni and SexyBaker!Lovi by Vodka112: Title kinda says it all. Antonio is a demon, Lovino is a sexy baker. What more do you want from me?

Three Hundred Years by SnowyWolff: Antonio is a demon and Lovino is a witch. Over the course of three hundred years, their relationship changes.

Seven Devils by flavio-sexual: Lovino is frequently possessed by demons as a child, and Antonio tries to help him. It's horror.

Unholiest of Nights by killerkitty15: There's a demon inside of Lovino (again), and he's tried to make it leave, but Antonio won't leave. Contains attempted rape (not between spamano), gore, character death, and horror.

The Contract by BlueFlamePy: Captain Antonio has picked up a demon, and wants this demon to help him gain glory and immortality.

Ecclesiastical:

Amo atque credo by StarsMadeinHeaven: Lovino is a priest who doesn't believe in God. Antonio is a roma who believes in God, but doesn't believe in priests. I'M STILL BRAINROTTING OVER IT. Mild smut.

Gifts by LimitlessReach (orphan_account): Lovino and Father Antonio are up to things they probably shouldn't be doing.

Temptatio by Sixteen clumsy and shy: Lovino is a priest accused of sodomy, and is interrogated by head inquisitor Antonio. Also contains noncon and torture. I wouldn't say it's hot exactly, but it is wellwritten. Really gets into the headspace of someone who is rapidly losing things they didn't even know they could lose.

Demons and Priests:

Possessed by LimitlessReach (orphan_account): Antonio is a demon, and hypnotises the priest Lovino.

I Can't Ignore you, I'd Do Anything For You by gloomcoyote: Here we have the exact opposite! Antonio is the priest, and Lovino really doesn't like when you say God.

Sins of the Innocent by orphan_account: Same premise as above, except there's five whole chapters of it!

Be aware that all of these straddle a fine line of dubcon because of demons and humans, and if that bothers you, don't click them.

Angelic:

Glorious Angelus by Black.Rose.Authoress: Antonio is visited by an angel named Lovina.

I Don't Hate You by BlueFlamePy: Lovino and his brothers are angels and have been sent to Earth for a mission, but they meet a group of dark angels, and one of them takes a bit of a liking to Lovino. Although it contains smut, it's only in chapter four (gerita) and the very last chapter (spamano).

Demons and Angels:

Tomatina Angel by GlassSerendipity: Christina (nyo Romano) is too bad for an angel, and Antonio is too good for a demon. As one tries to save souls and the other tries to doom them, they fall in love. Contains character deaths (that's how the characters become angels and demons), torture and one very non-graphic attempted sexual assault (not spamano).

Demons, Angels, and Priests:

A Divided Cross Path by Kin Siofra: Lovino and Feliciano are priests after their grandfather died, but Lovino starts seeing an angel named Antonio – and suddenly, there's also a devil named Antonello hanging around him. Yes, there are two Spains. Content warnings for character deaths, and non-graphic child abuse.

Religious Themes:

Bless Me, Father by plump_thighs: Antonio goes to confess his sins to a priest. But you have to be sorry for it to count.

All of Our Sins by Terminally Introverted: Lovino and Feliciano attend confirmation classes under their group leader Antonio. Lovino and Antonio slowly realise this church in particular is a very awful place. Warnings for homophobia, religious guilt and trauma, self harm, attempted suicide, and a bit of an age gap (Lovino is 17, Antonio is in his early 20s).

Not a Sin by ChibiDevil098: Romano has pushed his feelings for Spain away for centuries, but one Christmas Eve, Spain returns, and reassures him that what they feel is not a sin.

Confessional Ambush by Stripes93: Romano is trying to confess, but his boyfriend Antonio is on the other side of the curtain instead of the priest.

Don't Tempt Me by Reda: Romano has chosen a very particular thing (person) to give up for Lent this year.

Visiting the Pope by RomaNatty: Romano and Veneziano are supposed to introduce themselves to the new pope, and they bring their boyfriends. It does not go well. For the pope, that is.

Raised in Penance by cuneifire (orphan_account): Romano prays for his sins to be forgiven.

Hallelujah by AntheaAnonymous: Lovino and Antonio go to the same church, and can't get their eyes off of each other. Contains the most PG-13 sex scene, it is so PG-13 that I don't think it needs to be red.

Accept Surrender by stardropdream (orphan_account): Smut with religious guilt.

#spamano #aph spain #aph romano #hws romano #aph south italy #hws south italy #hws spain #fanfiction #fanfiction recommendation #fanfiction rec list #religious #angels and demons

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