#birds are better or some shit. hes so fucking self absorbed. god. ok. other than that im having the TIME of my LIFE

[step-on-me-natasha]

Blade; chapter 1

summary: Parker "Blade" Wiles, a high ranking SHIELD agent with an aptitude for sharp objects, goes missing. When Blade is found again with a darker and colder demeanor, SHIELD, with the help of The Avengers, are tasked with finding out what happened to their colleague and friend.

OC is ace and uses they/them pronouns

pairing: Natasha Romanoff x OC! reader (Blade)

warnings: knives, dead mom?? if anything else, let me know

*thoughts are in italics*

Dear Journal, it’s Parker, well it’s actually Blade, my therapist said that it would help if I wrote in a diary everyday. I don’t know how this is supposed to help. How is writing in a journal going to help with the fact that my mother just died? I don’t get it. But, here goes nothing I guess.

When I was maybe 9 or 10, I started playing with knives. My mother would always tell me it was dangerous, but there have only been two instances where I got hurt by one. The first time was when I was in high school and I was cutting a carrot for my lunch and I looked away and the knife slipped. It was only the tip of my finger, so does it really count? The second time was last week when some damn HYDRA agent threw a fucking samurai sword at my head and it barely missed my ear. Which by the way, ruined my streak of at least 20 years of not getting cut by a knife. Other than that, nothing bad has really happened.

I guess I never really learned my lesson because now I play with knives for my job. Anyways, I’ll write some more tomorrow.

--Blade

“First entry down. Boom” You say with a slight head nod. Never in a million years would you have thought that you would be writing in a diary, especially not a bright fucking purple one. That’s the best Dr. Lawrence could do? You work with superheroes and play with knives for a living and she thought that a bright purple diary was a good idea? It’s a rhetorical question, it’s definitely not a good idea.

A knock at your door took you out of your trance of staring at this obnoxiously bright diary. Steve pokes his head in, Jesus Christ he’s such a dad, you think.

“Hey there, we got a team briefing in 10. A new HYDRA breakthrough.” He says.

Oh goody. “Alright, thanks Steve.” You stand up and stretch your legs and back out.

“So uh, new hobby?” He says pointing at the journal.

“Oh yeah, totally. Dr. Lawrence said it would help if I wrote my feelings down. I think I'm gonna name it Sheila.”

He nods, “Sheila. Uh... yeah, Sheila suits it”.

The both of you begin the walk down to the briefing room.

“Wait wait wait, HYDRA? I thought we got rid of them when SHIELD collapsed.” You asked.

“They’re rebuilding.”

“Of course they’re fucking rebuilding.” You say with a sigh.

“Nice of you guys to finally join the party.”

“You actually interrupted my therapy sanctioned diary entry for today Tony, so thanks.” He rolled his eyes and scoffed.

“No need for the attitude Blade.” Now it’s your turn to roll your eyes and scoff as you fall into your seat.

“Let's just get this over with, I have better things to do” you mutter.

“....Alrighty,” Steve starts, “with the collapse of SHIELD and consequently HYDRA, what's left of HYDRA went underground. They used and analysed everything they had on physical files. We now know that they are trying to re-created the super soldier serum.”  

“Awesome” Bucky grumbles.

“That’s not all,” Steve continued “they are exclusively experimenting on women and children.” The room goes silent.

“Why wouldn’t they re-use the Red Rooms resources then?” You pipe up.

“They didn’t want to draw attention to themselves and what's left of the Red Room is nothing but retired widows who just want a normal life.” Natasha says.

“Including you?” you ask her. “In the future yeah, but not now.” You nod and your eyes linger on her.

“Do we have a location?” Bucky asks.

“Eastern Germany, more specifically East Berlin.” Steve replied. Whose bright idea was it to go back to Germany?

“Alright, suit up everyone, wheels up in 15.” Tony says as everyone begins to leave.

You make your way back to your room to grab your gear and suit up. Ya know, I know that this mission is important but, why do I have to go? I know it's unhealthy to stay holed up in my room but god, I really don’t want to go, you thought to yourself. You sigh and start walking towards the quinjet, grabbing your journal and a pen on the way out. You're the last one to get on, plopping down on a seat in the back. You start writing.

Sup Sheila. I guess writing has kinda distracted me from my poor pathetic self. I’m going on this mission to stop HYDRA. Yep, you heard me right. HYDRA. They’re fucking back. And guess where they are! Germany! FUCKING GERMANY! The audacity. I bet they’re all men. No woman, even a HYDRA agent, would go BACK to Germany. I digress, anyways, I guess this mission could help. I haven’t been in the field since the accident. So maybe this is for the better? I truly don’t know, i’ll let you know when I get back

--Blade

You close your journal and kind zone out. I don’t even know why I’m here. Why couldn't they bring Clint, oh yeah, he fell off the roof trying to fly. What kind of fucking idiot does he think he is? I bet he’s having the time of his life right now. Not having to go on this mission. He’s probably watching shitty sitcom re-runs while eating something dumb, like garlic bread. Mmmmmm, garlic bread. I could eat so much garlic bread right now it’s not even funny. If I could, I would fuck garlic bread, and I DON’T EVEN LIKE SEX. Good thing Wanda’s not here, she would be concerned.

“Hey, you good?” Natasha nudges you and asks.

“About as good as I can be for someone who’s mom just died and is going to stop a rogue Nazi division from the 40s that never really went away.” That is such a lie, I was totally thinking about garlic bread.  

“Huh, well, that’s one way to put it.” She says, “Well, if you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here”  

“Got it, thank you Nat, I really appreciate it.”

Normally when someone says something like “I'm here if you need to talk” and all that other bullshit, it just goes in one ear and out the other. But when Nat says it, it makes you want to believe it. It’s almost comforting. You get up from your seat to grab your blades, and Tony stops you.

“What Tony?”  

“Hey, what's with the attitude? I just wanted to say that I upgraded your knives for you. Something nice, ya know. Thought you might need some cheering up.”  

“That- that's actually nice. Thank you Tony.”  

“They need a little sharpening but, I figured you could do that since it's kinda your thing.”

You chuckle, “Yeah, thank you, again.” I guess you learn something new everyday. Tony isn’t actually a self absorbed douchebag all the time. You start sharpening your swords when someone sits next to you.

“Sweet knives!”  

“Thank you Sam, they’re nice, aren’t they” You say glancing at Tony.

“Alright, let's go over the plan.” Steve gathers everyone's attention.

“Sam and Tony, you guys are in the air, make sure nothing goes in or out of the base. Blade and Nat, you two take the front entrance while Bucky and I take the back. It’s not a big base, we need to get in, take what we need and get out as soon as possible. Use your comms if you need something.” As the jet lands, everyone splits up into their designated teams.

“Are you sure you’re okay to go on this mission?” Nat asks. “I mean, you’ve been staring off into space since we took off.”

“I’m gonna be totally honest with you, most, if not the whole time, I was thinking about garlic bread.”

“Why were you thinking about garlic bread?”  

“Well, I don’t know, it happens from time to time, I can't stop it.”  

“You’re really weird.”  

“You’re stuck with it.”

By this time, all teams have left the jet. You and Natasha are nearing the front. Do I still want garlic bread? Yes. I do.

“Please don’t think about garlic bread right now”

“You have very little faith in me, I was thinking about….not garlic bread”  

“Mmmhmm, yeah, sure. Just,” she sighs “watch by back and don’t do anything stupid.”  

“I don’t do stupid things. The person you should be telling that to is Clint. He fell off the roof for fucks sake! Trying to what? Hmmm?? Trying to fly! Fucking fly!”

He shouldn’t be called Hawkeye anymore. He already got too many bad ideas about trying to be a hawk. We should revoke his superhero name and call him sharpshooter or some shit. No more bird names.

You and Nat enter the base. It’s too dark in here. HYDRA couldn’t afford some lights? Cheap bastards. You’re walking down the darkest hallway known to man, when you hear something.

“You hear that?” You ask.

“Yep, we should probably go check it out.”  

“Fuck no! I am sure as hell not doing that! This place gives me American Horror Story: Asylum vibes, and I am not here for it.” Unless Sarah Paulson is there. I would do anything for her.

“Jesus Christ Blade! This is what we are here for!”  

“Ughhhhhhh, fine. You go in first though.”

You two go into the room where the noise was heard.

“There’s no one here.”  

“no shit Natasha, it’s almost like you have eyes.”

She gave you a pointed look and you sighed and started searching the room.

“What are we looking for again? I was too busy thinking about garlic bread to catch what Steve said”  

”Of course you were . We’re looking for any information regarding HYDRA. Weapon plans, base blueprints and info on the winter soldier project.”

*GASP* Buckyyyy….. “Got it, thanks.”  

“I'm gonna go find another room, you got this covered?”  

“Yup, don’t worry about me, I got this” you give her a thumbs up as she leaves.

You continue to look around the room when you feel a slight breeze.

“That's weird” You say to yourself. You start following where the wind is coming from and find a door.  

“Wow, HYDRA could afford a secret door but not lights?” You go through the door to find another empty room.

“Okay, that’s extra weird.” The door closes.

“Oh shit.”  you try to open the door but it doesn’t budge. “Hello!” you use your comm but you just hear static.

“Ok well, that’s not good.” you start trying to find a way out until you hear footsteps behind you. OH SHIT, STRAIGHT OUT OF THE HORROR MOVIES. And then the lights cut out.

“Okay, ha ha! Very funny! Making sure the person with the big scary knives can’t see. Well jokes on you! I'm just gonna start swinging! And if I hit something, then well, hopefully it’s HYDRA.” You yell out.  

“You are not gonna make it out alive” A voice came from the right of you. You pull out your swords and turn to the right.

You gasp. “You’re a woman!”  

“Indeed I am. But, like I said earlier, you’re not making it out of this one, sweetheart”  

“Oh honey, they call me Blade for a reason, so you might not make it out alive.”  

“I highly doubt that” she said as she hit you upside the head, knocking you out.

A/N: AHHHH! this is my first book/fic and I am very excited! please please please don't be afraid to like or comment, it makes my day when you do!

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff fluff #Natasha Romanoff x ace!raeder #natasha romanoff fanfic #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff #Natasha Romanoff x you #black widow x reader #black widow fluff #black widow #black widow x ace!reader #marvel x reader #marvel x ace!reader #Natasha Romanoff imagine #black widow imagine #mcc x reader #mcc x ace!reader

[sameteeth]

i fucked up my back making sure a nurse shark could breathe ... things i will never regret <3

#hauling buckets of water is exhausting lmaoo but hey he was fine #we got him tagged and processed and out! very cool :) #honestly im having a great time aside from my friend being annoying as hell.. hes just mean and not fun to talk to #all he does is like point out birds and plants and tell stories abt stuff i was there for and im like. dude. im here to see sharks. #and its been so cool!!!! bc i have!!!!! but i wont infodumo to him bc hed just correct me or tell me about how much he hates sharks and why #birds are better or some shit. hes so fucking self absorbed. god. ok. other than that im having the TIME of my LIFE #REAL WILD SHARKS WE ARE CATCHING AND TAGGING !!!!! HOLY ZHIT!!!!!! #okok i have tk be up early tomorrow ok goodnight <3 #canis speaks