#bi people problems

[yourwakingnightmares]

I love it.

At my family reuinion yesterday, one of my aunts literally said, “Ha, remember back when you thought you were bisexual, Mo? It’s been, what, twelve years since you dated that girl? I’m glad you’re over that whole thing!”

Oh, you mean... since I entered a long term relationship with my boyfriend, and had two kids? Since we got a house together, and have been in a committed relationship?

Like... seriously. I love how being attracted to guys and girls apparently means you just can’t settle down ever. Settle down with a guy, you’re straight, settle down with a girl, you’re gay.

There’s no winning here.

#bi people problems #lgbt #gotta sleep around apparently #relationships not allowed #bisexual

[uncanny-tranny]

This might be a very specific experience, but I think a huge reason I didn't even realize or even want to be bisexual was specifically because of this intersection of my manhood and the way it's viewed

There's this toxic merry-go-round I find myself riding where I am so desperate to not be one of those guys to a woman that it winds up being an inability to connect to women* because of this hyperpolicing I end up doing. For the longest time, I repressed myself because of this impulse, and I find it interesting. It's interesting seeing how this aspect of patriarchy impact me in such a way that I was too afraid of myself and the people around me.

As a trans man, I felt the pressure to prove both that I'm not one of those men, but also, that I wasn't this predatory trans man, that anything I did was in service to proving why I should (or should not) continue to exist. Simultaneously, I am both not a man, but also a predatory man because of my transness, a threat to be contained. I felt this before as somebody who is multisexual, but it somehow affects me more in the aspect of how I interact with women* and womanhood* from the outside.

There isn't an overarching theme to this post, a message about what you can do. It's mostly reflecting on my experiences and thinking about where my impulse to think myself as guilty until proven innocent plays into how I've started viewing myself. I don't want to overgeneralize, but I've seen this expressed by many a trans man*.

#trans #transgender #bi #bisexual #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #nonbinary #internalized transphobia #internalized queerphobia #i definitely had to work through ingernalized homophobia but i have been actively trying to combat that so it isn't ALWAYS a problem #and i of course get why this is also not good - i think it's a reminder that (though it looks different) patriarchy hurts ALL of us #i'm not saying that my experiences are the same as everybody else - but i do notice this transphobic narrative around my fellow (trans) man #for the longest i didn't /want/ to be bi+ because it felt like i was addong another layer of respectability... #...like in my mind it was bad enough being gay and trans but adding another group of people who'd be forced to see me? miss me with that #that was my thought process in it all because i have had so much transphobic rhetoric regurgitated at me that it just got hard to resist #and that's a shameful thing - to admit that you're Struggling and it is Not Pretty #so i think that's part of why i decided to talk about this. i think it's a wound some people have learned to hide but not treat #massive déjà vu right now because i feel like this So Often. some days are better than others but it's hard to soldier through

[cienie-isengardu]

Hot take: It's okay that Bi-Han doesn't like Tomas. He doesn't have to see him as family or like him.

By the addition of “Hot take” I assume this is not something that fandom at large figured out by themselves yet. Can’t say I’m surprised though. Yes, it is okay for Bi-Han to not like or see Tomas as family, as no one can be - nor should be - forced to like anyone just because others (adults) expect it. That alone doesn’t make Bi-Han an evil person, even if Tomas feels rejected in the process, as each person will define what makes one a family differently. 

Their brotherhood was forced on both, as none had any say in Grandmaster’s decision to adopt the orphaned and traumatized boy (how they adapted to the situation is another matter and so far, we know more about Smoke’s process of adaptation than Bi-Han’s). We know only small bits of what happened that significant day, but so far sources - the way the informations are phased at least - feel to me like the Grandmaster adopted the boy less for Tomas’ sake and more to smother his own guilt 

[...] Having accidentally trespassed onto Lin Kuei lands, they were attacked. Smoke was orphaned. Ashamed by his warriors' actions, the Lin Kuei's Grandmaster adopted Smoke. He raised him alongside his sons, Sub-Zero and Scorpion. [Smoke’s BIO]

and/or to save his honor:

Kitana: "You are Kuai Liang's adopted brother?" Smoke: "His father's honor demanded that he take me in." 

So this is not a situation as if Bi-Han urged father to give him another younger brother and dad complied to make his son happy but once he brought the orphaned Tomas, Bi-Han decided nope, I change my mind and from on I will act as a spoiled brat that didn’t get what he wanted. Tomas did not choose to be orphaned nor to be adopted (as he himself admitted he did not think being taken in by Lin Kuei was anything good for him at that time), the same as Bi-Han was not asked by Grandmaster for approval (and even if he was, his objection apparently wasn’t taken into account as Grandmaster still adopted Tomas).

Smoke: "Father wanted us to be brothers." Sub Zero: "Yet another of the old man's foolish dreams." 

Note this: father wanted. Not hoped they will eventually find a common ground despite the not the best circumstances. He wanted to save honor. He wanted them to be brothers. Again, not sounding as taking into account what the kids wished for or needed and who knows, maybe Grandmaster wanted it so much, he pushed too hard to get the most comfortable solution for his own conscience - except Bi-Han simply never clicked with Tomas, whatever due to incompatible personalities or factors beyond their good will? I presume they all were still enough young when Tomas was brought into picture, but if Bi-Han is the eldest out of them three, then he could had his own duties that simply didn’t give him enough time to bond with the (culturally and ethically) different kid the way Kuai Liang did, again presumably, as closer in age to Tomas. 

But even if Bi-Han simply didn’t like Tomas, then it is still okay, because people can’t be forced to love or like others. Not liking someone though doesn’t give anyone the right to act disrespectful - yet so far, we only heard he was cold to Tomas but that does not necessary mean being intentionally cruel either. A human can be polite and still come off as emotionally cold (and let’s not forget that people can also be naturally introverts or fall into the autism/asocial disorders spectrum that makes it difficult to establish good relationships with strangers. We are familiar with MK1 Bi-Han for what? Maybe twenty minutes of story mode and through intro-dialogues that only gives us a sense of who he is at this point. We don’t even have an idea if cryomancer genes affect his perception of the world or behavior). 

Bi-Han as an adult person seems to come to terms with the situation to some extent and got used to the idea of an additional brother - his and Tomas relationship is tense and complicated but it is now tainted by their conscious choices, however in the past, if Bi-Han didn’t like Tomas for whatever understandable or petty reason, no one can demand from a kid to act as an adult and control/smooth their own emotions to solve the problem adults created in the first place. The whole situation wasn’t fair to Tomas and so wasn’t to Bi-Han either. 

Would it be sad to learn that Bi-Han has never liked Tomas or never come to love him the way he loved his biological brother? Yes. But not liking someone or not considering someone a family member is not a crime itself and is not an indication of being inherently evil. Be it fictional characters or real human beings, people sometimes simply don't like each other and they have the right to feel that way. Not liking each other though does not mean anyone is allowed to abuse or disrespect others, just to be clear here.

I like to think this should be obvious, but knowing fandom, it may indeed be the hot take.

#mortal kombat #my replies #bi han #sub zero #tomas vrbada #smoke #bi han & tomas #would i like them to be good bros? of course! #but i will respect if they don't like each other or if only bi han doesn't like tomas #because interpersonal relationships aren't either good or bad #some are complicated by various factors #on which some we have control while on others don't #i get that parents want their children to get along but forcing them to bond when it doesn't work is just wrong way to handle the problem #i know fandom likes to make Tomas the Cinnamon Roll #but Tomas is not some lost puppy that if you don't like him you must be the embodiment of all evil #where people ever get those ideas? Or no I don't wanna know that actually

[punkeropercyjackson]

'No girl would choose Aang over Zuko' said by the same people who write ex boyfriend Jet and Jetkotara love triangles,as if any girl would choose Zuko over Jet LMFAOOOOOOO

#jet would kill for katara zuko tried to kill katara it was jetara vs the world it was katara vs zuko punk gf x punk bf and defanged gf etc #you do NAWT get to use my babyboy as a prop for your fuckass colonial fantasy ship and then act like kataang's endless slay is the problem #your people aren't savages and melanin deficients aren't saviours get help for your internalized everything legends💔 #anti zutara #katara #aang #jet atla #zuko #jetara #pro jetara #kataang #pro kataang #kataang defense squad #pro katara #katara deserved better #pro aang #aang defense squad #jet deserved better #brotp:sky's the limit #< aang and jet #aanglove #anti fire nation #atla geekery #punk katara #trans katara #bi katara #autistic katara #gender essentialism #💌 #summerposting

[cruelsister-moved2]

like we are on our nine billionth positivity post for cis men with beards and masculine trans men and feminine lesbians and bi people in m/f relationships and nb people who are comfortable passing as their agab etc.... do we need more? is straight people not being able to tell you're gay/trans really the biggest issue facing lgbt people right now?

there seems to be this undiminishable reservoir of care and sympathy for the very idea of having ur queerness slighted in any context. meanwhile people who never get the choice whether or not to hide it are routinely dehumanised, othered, and ignored. if the issues facing these groups do get discussed it's almost never with much concern for their feelings. invalidation and erasure may be one of the issues facing lgbt people and it deserves attention too but I really don't think you can claim at this point that it isn't getting its fair share already.

for what it's worth, even your hypothetical most flaming butch lesbian/fem gay man/androgynous nb person etc still meets people who assume they're cishet, who even actively refuse to acknowledge that they're not. the false equivalence between erasure and overt prejudice alleged exclusively by those who largely experience only the former is in fact erasing the reality of people who experience both

#I'm always thinking abt that one buzfeed article called like queer women share their struggles or smth #one was a butch lesbian talking abt how carefully she has to plan journeys #bc late night toilet stops or seedy motels are life and death for her #then there was a bi woman w a husband n kids #talking abt how one time she had to take her pride flag off her lawn (picket fence implied lol) #like... ofc that's sad I feel sad for her #but the lack of proportion is kind of on the nose lol #I don't have the right words but like something very fetishistic abt the gaze of other lgbt ppl towards 'visibly' lgbt people #and I use those terms loosely bc ppl r visible and invisible in different contexts #but if you've reached the stage of fantasising abt hypothetical microaggressions or straight up hate crimes that could happen to u #then u have gone too far #I just think a lot of the time it's more abt the fact that YOU don't feel 'valid' enough in yourself #ao you convince yourself other lgbt people existing or talking abt our issues is the problem #like if ur a bi girl n having a cishet bf makes u feel so lonely and insecure and 'not gay enough' at what point is that ur responsibility #to either accept urself or to be in relationships that make u feel better about urself #and not my responsibility to say ur having gay sex with jakey or wjayever

[hussyknee]

You know what? You're right about everything. In fact people who shit all over mspec gays/lesbians not only have no concept of how anything works, but they're also fucking selfish and horrible members of the community. I'll die on this hill. A bunch of assholes only out for themselves.

We are actively under fire in many countries. US and UK are actively heading into a trans genocide. Russia is getting worse, too now. Loads of other countries I haven't named. (Before anyone says jack shit the fucking center named after the person who coined the term genocide said we were headed that way. Genocide isnt an overnight thing you stupid leftists Do your damn research and shut up.)

We are at a high rate of suicide and sexual violence, regular violence housing and health care denial, etc. Do you think someone is going to stop and make sure someone isn't a snowflake queer or "tucute" or mspec lesbian before they bash their fucking head it? Do you think a doctor is gonna tell a nonbinary person who looks visibly queer "of course I'll treat you, you're not one of those trans people" Not to mention how you're so quick to exclude closeting and questioning kids who already want to kill themselves? Do you fucking hear the way you talk about your own people? LEAVE OUR OWN PEOPLE ALONE AND CALL YOUR GOVERNEBT REPS OR GET PETTITIONS CIRCULATED OR DONATION POSTS BOOSTED!

You would really rather attack people who's fucking LABELS you disagree with than do anything fucking positive to protect the rest of us? It makes me sick to my fucking stomach that y'all care more about policing than you do about your own people? Absolute selfish and cruel bootlicker behaviour. It's disgraceful, and I'm ashamed and enraged to share space with you people.

#pop off honey #either these people dont have any real problems #or they're taking their helplessness against real problems out on their own community #it's all this is #clout chasing bully culture dressed up in the language of oppression #mutual aid and organized protests are much harder than going after people online for no reason #lgbtqia #queer discourse #exclusionism #mspec lesbian #bi lesbian #transphobia #trans genocide #queerphobia #homophobia #asks #anon #knee of huss

[ma-du]

#madu grumbles #renee rapp #not to be a lesbian but oh my god #im bi #And im a disaster #Madame with all due respect please step on me #body positivity #Like man #People calling her ugly and all that shit must have some vision problem or something #she is so beautiful #and gorgeous

[agnesandhilda]

I don't think blue lock will commit to having any undeniably queer characters in the main text (no, not even the one you're thinking of right now) but at the same time I do believe that these guys are gonna think back to these obsessive intensely physical rivalries they used to have with each other as adults and think "okay. so that awoke something in me"

#bolo liveblogs #like the manga exists in this awkward space between ''this is queerbaiting'' and ''you wanted to write about two dudes with a #trancendental football bond and blue lock's complete omission of women a la ancient greece makes that homoerotic'' #but the subtext is *there* and now it's everyone else's problem. and I love a good situationship so #“isn't kunigami bi. doesn't shidou hit on sae a lot” <- true but this post is in response to people who #genuinely think these guys are gonna kiss on screen. it's not gonna happen it's never gonna happen #I do think we could get some psychosexual obsession moments that are gayer and weirder than that though #insert obligatory reference to kaiser's whole choking thing

[sharkyy599]

Chip: *says snarky comment*

"Damn, he's an asshole!"

Victoria: *hates on an innocent mermaid just because she's a mermaid*

"Don't you just love her!"

#I just find it odd that a few people say that Chip is a dipshit for being sarcastic and a prankster #But Victoria is literally prejudice and no one has a problem with that?? #my point is the double standards when females get a pass for being a jerk when males are criticized for it #but who cares about my OCs lol #text post #bi lobster

[spkyart]

Oh my oh my, Akane really wanted that kiss

#akane u little bi thing #akane tendou #akane tendo #ranma and akane #ranma saotome #rankane #ranma #ranma ½ #ranma 1/2 #akane problems is really that people are watching so what if they were alone 🤔🤔🤔

[lem0nademouth]

finally ripping the bandaid off and saying my worst, most violent experiences of my queerness have been in interactions with the lesbian community. y’all need to get your shit together.

#yes theres disc horse happening #and yes its biphobic and transphobic #among other flavors of bad #im being so serious ive never had a positive interaction with the lesbian community not a single one #so help me god if i get notes saying this is lesbophobic i will turn into the joker #i don’t think my experiences justify lesbophobia #i do think they are reflective of some very big problems in the lesbian community considering how common they are #anyway don’t be fucking weird about bi and trans people its not hard

[rei-does-stuff]

“Men can’t be lesbians”

“Okay, what about bigender lesbians?”

“Oh they can be lesbians, they aren’t REALLY men”

???????? Do you

Do you hear yourself???

#rei says stuff #yall are fuckin insane #exclus dont even hide their true colors #and everyone just accepts it because ‘THOSE EVIL BI LESBIANS AND LESBOYS ARE TRYING INVADE OUR SPACES’ like okay #the few people identifying as bi lesbians and lesboys are the real problem in this situation definitely

[cienie-isengardu]

Bi-Han when talking to his (story mode) allies who also are enemies of Kuai Liang

MORTAL KOMBAT 1 (2023)

Havik: Aid me and I'll destroy the Shirai Ryu. Bi-Han: That is *my* privelege, Havik.

Shao: If I *ever* see your brother --- Bi-Han: You won't unless you visit his grave.

Shang Tsung: Kuai Liang's betrayal cost us dearly. Bi-Han: He will bleed for it, sorcerer.

BONUS: Noob Saibot [Mortal Kombat 11 (2019)]

Geras: Bring your brother to Kronika. Noob Saibot: The dead are my clan now. Geras: Do you serve or do you not?

#mortal kombat #mortal kombat spoilers #bi han #sub zero #noob saibot #I think no fan of Lin Kuei is truly happy about the MK1's take on Bi-Han and Kuai Liang's strained relationship #without givings us first some good brotherhood moments to root for #but i like the creators at least keep bi han's remarks about dealing with brother as an ambiguous rather than straight up I will kill him #as his specific choice of words reminds me a lot about Noob Saibot #who did not have any problem with admiting kuai liang is his brother to people who in general were on good terms with kuai liang #but when asked by geras to bring kuai liang to kronika he was suddenly like what a brother sorry only dead are my family now #and i meant it #bi han has never once said he is gonna kill kuai liang (or smoke for that matter) #sub zero will say stuff about hurting kuai liang / shirai ryu to brother's face or kuai liang's allies #sure #but so far only to shang tsung he said kuai is gonna bleed for betrayal (still being hurt/punished not killed) #while his replies to shao and havik are more ambiguous #like the one for shao - you will see my bother only if you visit his grave #there is no addition AFTER I WILL KILL HIM #more like you are not allowed to see kuai liang until he died #i like that there is some unsaid stuff one may read in various ways when it comes to Bi Han's family matters

[starlight-shark]

is it bad that i find it a lot harder to empathize with my cishet friends then my queer ones? because i feel kinda bad about it :(

#like this one girl whom i've known since i was like five came out to me as bi a few weeks ago and #i've just been able to empathize with her a lot easier now and i feel like i understand her better than i did when i thought she was cishet #and then my other friend just told me that she's actually a cis girl and not enby like she thought she was. and i just. i cant really relat #to her like i used too?? i think thats also partially because we've just grown apart and our friendships been a bit rocky lately (to me at #least) but idk. i feel bad about all of it though. i still can understand them + listen to them its just different than my queer friends #other queer people do you feel like this at all too or is this just a me problem #shark speaks #colored text #coloured text #queer

[residueradiation]

okay people are gonna be mad at me but please

gay people seeing themselves in characters who are bi in canon are not your enemies

we just rarely ever get any representation, okay?

#I have no problem with people shipping their female ocs with astarion I swear #but maybe I just want Karlach and lae'zel and shadowheart to be gay because there are barely ever lesbians in games #besides I have literally not seen a single gay person complain about people shipping women with astarion or men with karlach #only bi people bashing gay people for apparently doing so #besides #making a character who has some stereotypical 'gay' traits and then saying 'but actually #they are not gay!' is not as subversive as you think it is #I get the idea of 'not taking representation away from another group' but like... #there are no straight companions so what's the alternative?

[boldlygoingtolidl]

tw for biphobia

one thing about pinterest is that people will just reinvent one of the most prevalent forms of biphobia and fully believe they're protecting lgbt community that way.

no, bisexual people who don't date a particular gender are not straight. they may have a strong preference to one gender, they may not be romantically attracted to another, they may live in an area where it's not safe to be openly queer or the way they experience attraction aligns more with what other bisexual people experience too.

whatever the case may be, it will never ever be justified to call a bi person "basically straight" simply because... you don't believe them when they say they're bi. bi people are not obligated to prove their sexuality to you and their sexuality isn't up for debate if you don't think their attraction is queer enough to "count" as bisexual. this isn't a celebrity VIP club where if your salary isn't high enough you get kicked out onto the curb. you're denying a queer person their identity AND their community for something you have absolutely no business no business in bossing around in, their personal life.

anyways. gatekeeping has never helped the lgbt+ community and has only served to break us apart and create unnecessary hostility. end post

#biphobia #homophobia #queer #the discourse #again: bi people aren't straight. you're just biphobic #saw sooo many comments going “ugh. hate when people id as lgbt because they think it's trendy” #mf you sound exactly like the conservatives who think all lgbt are just trendy fads #you! are! part! of! the! problem! #lgbtq community #lgbt pride #bi pride #chenposting #bisexual pride #bisexual