#beyond romantic attraction.

[turtletoria]

i feel like an incredible hater for this but i feel as i get older the more my tolerance for shipping decreases. like i went from an avid enjoyer to just tolerating ship art to now getting outright upset and fighting the urge to curse every time i see shipping content (this doesnt apply to my mutuals and friends who ship things because they can do no wrong ever)

#idk why it boils my blood like that. like genuinely it makes my online enjoyment really take a steep nosedive since 99.9% of any fandom- #content is shipping #maybe its the hater in me. maybe its the aroace tendencies in me. maybe im just antisocial and disagreeable. idk! #like shipping isnt morally bad or anything it just makes me so sad. idk #like ppl always prioritize romance over friendship and make fun of friendships as if they arent gay enough or smth and it rlly hurts me. id #like idk how to say it. everyone can have fun and stuff but it rlly makes me feel like im having fun wrong bc shipping looks fun but i cant #stomach it. like i miss having fun like that but i cant stand it anymore #like friendships r so devalued and even in frienship is magic type media friendships STILL take a backseat like whats up with that #like i hope this isnt coming across like a “i hate romance! i hate love!” kind of post but more so a why dont ppl focus on characters if - #they cant be romantically involved? #like i will alwaayyss be bitter abt willow from toh getting sidelined until she could be shipped with hunter like that pissed me off so bad #but like ur fave characters cant stand alone they neeeed to be romantically involved with someone for their love or dedication to be real #like love and dedication cant be genuine unless theyre romantically or sexually attracted? idk man #talking abt this is tricky bc u can fall into anti-sex/conservative rhetoric with this but i hope u can understand what im saying #like sex is great and romantic love is great but i wish the greater public would just have some freedom to explore concepts of dedication- #and trust that go beyond that framework. like there was a comment on reddit that framed aroace as the nonbinary of relationships and I- #thought that was really neat. yeah

[voidore]

cis people will go on and on about how they wouldn't date a trans person (fine, whatever, no one is forcing you) but the moment a trans person says they only date other trans people, they're confused and hurt and angry because how dare we not find "normal" people attractive

#t4t #attractive is maybe the wrong word. im still attracted to cis ppl but i wouldnt rly want a romantic/sxual relationship with them #someone asked my type and i said trans and they were like ??? #like obv theres things beyond that but thats the base requirement for me #they couldnt wrap their head around why i would only date trans ppl #ridtxt

[deiscension]

Type of person who says "I think my lipstick would look soooooo good on you!", gives you a kiss on the cheek, declares their lipstick looks fantastic on you and they'd like to see it on you more often, then breezes on by all those mixed signals to continue on with whatever was at hand.

#▌ ◈ shi qingxuan ; ⌜ study ⌟ #yeah this is all i've got until later i think #discord convos got me holding my head in my hands. lady u've got to learn how to differentiate between different affections #surface level its cute sure but beneath i think its worrying. maybe even irritating/contemptable. depends on the person. #girl who cares you so so so much but her stunted emotional advocacy/expression makes her seem airheaded and unserious #girl who plops you both down into the friendzone bc she's wholly unaware of her own capacity for intimacy beyond friendship #when i say intimacy i mean genuinely any display of connection/attraction/what have you #queen of mixed signals and hard to get bc she's not reading her own signals and doesn't know she wants to be gotten #her ignorance is wreaking havoc yet again!!!!! #i have so many thoughts about sqx and Deep Feelings:tm: be they platonic or any other type of attraction #but this'll have to do for now. ogh. hopeless romantic but quite literally hopeless. so entirely hopeless. girl u've got nothing. #what is it tsun and i say.... stuck in the dark forest (metaphorically) (literally) (horrible beast)

[luvsavos]

random vent(?) in the tags, feel free to ignore i just have a lot of pent up emotions to get out today apparently

#mar.txt #it's weird being aro(?) and yet also longing for a relationship. maybe its just bc almost all of my friends are in one #maybe it's bc of how easily jealous i get #maybe its the fact that i'm constantly being reminded that i am nobody's most important person. there's always someone more important. #maybe it's just the all-consuming，gaping hole of loneliness within me #idk. #i don't even know if i AM actually aro or if i'm just so demi that i may as well be aro or if ive just had so many bad experiences that it #feels impossible for me to feel romantic attraction #a few of my ocs (shara and the alatreon) are how i think i'd describe myself; aro，but willing to be in a relationship provided the other #person isn't bothered by them being aro，bc they have their own equivalent to romantic feelings #i know i'll never have one though. for all my confidence and whatnot i still very much am insecure about my own loveability. because the #only thing life has shown me is that i very much am not loveable. all the way back in first grade ppl were already using me instead of #actually caring #'dating' me to make someone else jealous. so they could have a drug buddie. a fuck buddie. so they could try to manipulate me into things #because i was a young teenager desperate for validation and to feel like i mattered and belonged and they were nearly adults who knew they #could exploit that. i'm surprised i never had anything happen to me beyond being pressured into trying chew tobacco (awful and disgusting) #and doing it every time i was around my 'boyfriend' and his friends #the only two genuine relationships i had didn't last either; one lost feelings after three years and the other just sorta stopped talking to #me and iirc eventually picked up a boyfriend that was actually local instead of long distance #i am not worthy of love. i will never be loved in the way that my friends are. hell i won't ever even find a qpp(?). and that makes me sad. #to know i will always be alone. that i'm destined to die alone. but it is what it is i guess. i just wish it didn't bother me so much. #i wish i could be content in my loneliness and not be jealous of everyone around me. i wish i could accept that i will never be anybody's #most important person. that the only person i can or will ever be the most important to is myself. self love，yeah? ha. #maybe 2024 will have something in store for me. god i hope it does. but i doubt it will. more of my friends will get into relationships， #those already in them will stay in them and/or take a step forward in their relationship. and i will remain alone. just as i always have. #anyways. sorry vent over i'm just. ugh. upset today. emotions are stupid and i want a refund on them. i did not ask to be saddled with the #burden of feeling such intense，suffocating displacement and loneliness. i did not ask to feel these negative emotions so strongly. #i just want to be someone's most important person. i just want to matter.

[kraniumet]

patrick stump I'll kill you

#why do they put park in these situations. wait i know why #i do not hate parkchase but those guys are not believable romantically or sexually attracted to each other. but beyond that.

[theamazingannie]

The amount of times I’ve been betrayed by the possibility of a completely platonic m/f relationship where neither is homosexual nor explicitly having a familial relationship and thereby automatically excluded from the possibility of a romantic relationship is becoming extremely annoying

#like as a bisexual i can assure you it is indeed possible for two people with the potential to be attracted together #even two people who ARE attracted to each other #to just…not be interested in a romantic relationship #anyways just finished school spirits and I am beyond disappointed #for multiple reasons lmao but particularly that #i saw it coming but was so hoping it would be different #loved Simon so much and this just sours that

[wellhellotello]

When I say that Harry Styles is the love of my life I never mean it in a romantic way and I need everyone to understand that.

#mine #Harry Styles #i love him beyond a romantic way #i don’t want to date him #that is not why I’m a fan #yes he’s an attractive person but it’s more than that #it’s who he is as a person

[agreatperhaps12]

#this is really interesting! #props to haich for bringing this into my life #but posting bc i feel like there's a fair few aro/ace/gray folks in my corner of tumblr #and apparently after a decade of identifying as ace #i'm still learning dimensions of attraction beyond plain old romantic/sexual

[puphoods]

one day someone will be able to explain what romance + romantic attraction is supposed to be without treating it as some romance movie magic feeling

#chirps #so stupid. if you care about someone and want to be in a form of relationship with them thats romantic attraction #thats literally all it is anything beyond that is personal preference #sorry it makes me grumpy i feel like either im not getting something or veryone is really stupid about it

[kaizokuseb]

it’s weird to think that i will honestly never know what it’s like to have my attraction limited by gender. i’m bisexual. when i watch romantic shows or movies (i.e. everything i watch), i never see myself as the heroine nor her love interest because i want both. i love elena gilbert, and i love damon salvatore. i love buffy summers, and i love spike. i love satine, and i love christian.

idk. i just wonder sometimes what it would be like if i only loved the men or only the women. i vaguely remember what it was like when i thought i was only into men, but even then, the love for women was always there, just suppressed.

no one can fully understand what it’s like to be another person. i’m not the first person to wonder about this. it’s just truly wild when i stop to think about it because i genuinely cannot imagine anything different

#obligatory i’m trans and gender is a performance/social construct/game #but since i’m talking about media (most of which is aimed at cishet women) i’m being simplistic #for me bi means attraction to all genders #i cannot imagine caring about what genitals my partner has #beyond like if i dare someone with a vagina i might be nervous about making them happy because i have no experience there #i know it’s semantics but i don’t like ‘attraction *regardless* of gender’ #i’m attracted to genders #it’s just that i’m attracted to all of them #i appreciate bodies. gender sex size etc i can find the beauty in all of them #im rambling because i’m drunk #and when i get drunk i fall in love with humanity #it’s weird that i’m aro because i love people on such a deep level but it’s not romantic and i have no idea how to explain that

[kyliafanfiction]

So, like, I agree playersexuality in RPGs can be limiting from a storytelling/character depth/character agency/etc standpoint, and that is very true.

But also, I don't want to have to be a guy to romance the characters I want to romance.

I mean, thankfully mods for Bastila and Handmaiden and Morrigan and Cassandra exist, but honestly, if it's a choice between the most appealing lady being straight or being playersexual, I'd take playersexual every goddamn time.

This does not mean playersexuality is a superior choice from a writing or game design standpoint, far from it.

But if it means I get romance the female character that I like the most for that, I prefer it personally, in the games I play.

#It also depends heavily on a lot of factors in the game too #including how deep the romances are at all #Playersexuality #Musings #Romance in Video Games #But honestly with DA2 the only real issue was the way Anders didn't mention his previous mlm relationship to female Hawke #Otherwise I honestly think the characters can be read as bi easily enough #Merril and Fenris are relative shut ins and closed off so it isn't surpsising we don't see them with a wide-range of romantic interest or #attraction beyond Hawke generally - generally - and Isabella flirts with everyone and everything that moves #Mostly as a defensive thing but she does also just like sex

[lilislegacy]

this is my roman empire. and after all these years, i finally have to say something.

GRUNT-WHIMPER??? GRUNT-WHIMPER!!!!???

ANNABETH GIRL ARE YOU OKAY??

forget her just standing there gasping for air. forget her very audible sigh. forget the fact that annabeth initiates 80% of their kisses and literally has to restrain herself from kissing him in front of all of New Rome in MoA. i could go on and on about how many times percy calls her beautiful and attractive (let’s not forget how his heart races and his skin tingles at her touch) and all his boyfriend-ly thoughts about her, but lets focus on annabeth for a sec. BECAUSE ANNABETH CHASE IS GRUNT-WHIMPERING??

our girl was feeling ALL the things in this scene. she’s so weak in the knees for him that she can’t even hide it in front of piper. also percy must be a fantastic kisser? BECAUSE GRUNT-WHIMPER??

do not EVER tell me percy and annabeth don’t have romantic feelings for each other. do not EVER tell me it’s purely platonic. if you’re someone who thinks “nah i can’t see them getting married and having kids cause i don’t think they feel that way about each other” you clearly did not read about the grunt-whimper (well, you can hc whatever you want. i respect all opinions. but i do think you need to re-consider and account for the grunt-whimper)

BECAUSE GRUNT-WHIMPER?? ONE GOOD KISS FROM PERCY IS MAKING ANNABETH CHASE GRUNT-WHIMPER?? IS THAT RICK’S “CHILD-APPROPRIATE” WAY OF SAYING SHE MOANED?? HE SHOULD HAVE JUST SAID SHE MOANED. GRUNT-WHIMPER IS SO MUCH WORSE. THAT GOES SO FAR BEYOND A MOAN. A MOAN IS TAME COMPARED TO A GRUNT-WHIMPER.

GUYS I-

#ricky i see you #ricky i can’t believe you wrote about annabeth grunt-whimpering #GRUNT-WHIMPER?? #percabeth #LOL #i can’t stop laughing #if annabeth chase read that she would be like WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY I DID?? #blood of olympus #percy jackson #annabeth chase #heroes of olympus #percy jackson and the olympians #pjo #uncle rick

[sunjoys]

deep dark fear: if i ever fall for someone / date someone something is gonna get fucked up in my brain and im gonna end up with weird takes about male/female friendship and what counts as too intimate for platonic friendships

#I SAW A THING WHERE SOMEONE WAS LIKE #i (female) was meant to go hiking w 2 male friends and one of the guys had to cancel and so it was just her and the other dude and #dudes gf begged him not to go hiking and blew up his phone and sobbed all night etc #and it was framed in like “the gf is insanely possessive” which i agreed with but then in the comments ppl were like #“no that gf was right” #WHAT? #WHAT?? #commenters kept being like “yeah i wouldnt hike one-on-one w someone of the gender im attracted to” ARE U NUTS #liek theres plenty of intimate things that i GUESS you wouldnt do with someone ur not romantically involved with #(i cant think of any beyond straight up like making out but i can accept that there probably are non-physical limits that r reasonable) #but HIKING??? HIKING?????????? #sorry ive literally never dated or really wanted to date ppl so maybe i dont hashtag get it but . this has been going around my head all da