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#betterment
unfashionablehousewife · 6 minutes ago
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Anyways, leftist / progressive / liberal spaces are vehemently toxic, hyper-militant, and absolutely full of backbiting and infighting on the regular... And if you look at a fellow L/P/L voicing very valid criticism of the toxic culture we’ve created in these spaces, and the utter fucking hypocrisy of it all --- the hyper-reactionary mob mentality, the performance of ‘wokeness’ for social credit, the obsessive chronicling of errors just waiting for someone’s downfall, the gleeful cackling and reveling in someone’s failure, and the flood towards choosing of ‘the next victim’ the second the current one falls --- and think “what a snowflake” or “how cringe”, or get or dismissive of the problem and accuse them of being “a centrist” (because we all know no ‘real L/P/L’ would ever criticize L/P/L culture), or defensive or angry because “how dare they”... And you even remotely think “yeah all of this this is totally normal, totally healthy behavior that poses absolutely no toxic danger to the people in our own community at all”.... You are, in fact, actually a part of the fucking problem.
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unfashionablehousewife · 12 hours ago
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Honestly if y’all think getting a mob of completely random people in your inbox throwing fits and jumping to the worst possible conclusion based on bad faith interpretations of a 280 character post incapable of containing any amount of legitimate nuance, without ever even remotely attempting to clarify or understand it before making that interpretation... Is or ever has been, in any way shape or form,  “criticism”.... Then you desperately and severely need to re-evaluate your entire idea of what criticism is, what it involves, how it should be delivered, and its role in personal growth and improvement... Because that? That ain’t it. That ain’t never been it.
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unfashionablehousewife · 13 hours ago
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There's this incredibly childish dichotomy with the way a lot of people discuss racism. That there are the racists, and the non-racists. The two genders. And the way to solve racism is to root out the racists and cast them onto racist island away from me and mine, the non-racists, one of the good ones. They do this because they are insecure about their own internalized racism. They cannot conceive that they have any. That thought is terrifying to them, because a racist is the worst thing you can be. So instead of doing any introspection, they remain hypervigilant to root out the secret bad people so that everyone else will know they're one of the good ones [...]
Do not give me this horse shit about accountability. This is obviously just entertainment to you. Just fucking own it! 
Obsessively chronicling every perceived misstep we've ever made that could be interpreted badly, all while completely ignoring the rest of our entire bodies of work... Why are you wasting so much energy on this? Because you can't impact people who are actually doing your community harm. You can't shame the shameless [...] So you shame those who can be shamed. And if you call one of us biggoted enough times, people will start to believe it. And then you can feel like you solved racism by spreading lies about a person you have never met, and never will, and was doing your community no [actual] harm. Well done [...]
The reason campaigns like this gain traction is because they prey on communities that try to operate in good faith. They take advantage of people's good will, and they condition cynicism. So inevitably people harden over it. They default to skepticism [...] 
And they take that desire to do right and exploit it because it makes them feel powerful [...]  So militantly 'performing alyship' by rooting out corruption like it's the fucking red scare... Sharing doctored screenshots of tweets that don't exist, and willfully misinterpreting things to prove [your fake point]... Deep down you know you're just doing it for clout, right?
You should be sensitive to marginalized groups, and you should constantly be advocating for a more just world, and against racism, because we all have the stink on us. But that should be the goal in and of itself. Not performing on twitter so people can reassure you you're 'one of the good ones'; so you can get max retweets for an awesome dunk [...]
And I understand why there is this lingering culture of distrust- especially among communities  of color. But it is the height of dishonesty to suggest that the kind of atmosphere where everything is taken in bad faith leads to a more just world [...] 
I'm furious because this keeps happening and we have deluded ourselves into thinking that savaging each other for the smallest transgression and the most minor disagreement, is helping right the wrongs of the world. That there's this broad refusal to admit that our systems that operate on good faith are very often abused [...] 
And that backlash did not come from the alt-right or even the diet nazis, but our own community. 'Our side' [...] 
This social media culture where we participate in the public shaming one day, and become chained to the pillory the next... We can't even talk about it, because the beast does not even have a name. If we admit that this is a problem then the right will just take it and run with it and use it to increase their own power [...] If it has name, then it has power, so it is a discussion that cannot be had. And so we do not have it; we say “cancel culture doesn't exist" and ignore this disease, pretend it isn't doing real harm [...]
It isn't even about saying something tone deaf or insensitive. A mere difference of opinion might get you fired from your job if enough people raise a stink about it [...] Because god forbid you say something positive about 'one of the bad ones' that you did not know were bad.
— Fucking Lindsay Ellis just owning people in Mask Off for a whole ass 1 hour, 40 minutes, and 31 seconds, like a goddamned queen- and she ain’t wrong about a single bit of it.
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99-0720 · 18 hours ago
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Hey,
It’s been a month since we last saw each other, and if ever you’re curious as to how things are going for me, I’m doing better, better than I ever was. But of course before that, the first few weeks were really hard, you have no idea how much I fight myself every single day, how much I push myself to get up just to get through the day, just how much I try to convince myself that everything will be alright that maybe tomorrow will be okay and hell yeah, eventually it did turn out fine.
During those times I always had this thought, that maybe we’d be together in the future, just like what you said but you know what made me stop? It’s when I realised something, it’s that perhaps there’s so much more out there than what you had to offer—even better.
And I just woke up one day, I decided that I don’t want this anymore, this is not for me, that I should feel free, that I should let go of the weight that has been holding me back, the maybes, what ifs, and what could’ve beens, because I can’t move forward if I let those thoughts consume me.
Just like what I always tell you, always choose your happiness because that’s what I’ll be doing from now on. I will choose and prioritise my happiness over anything else.
Thank you so much for the memories, it will probably always linger at the back of my mind, you made my life special at a certain time and I’ll forever cherish those.
This’ll be my goodbye, I guess.
-bèatriz
Artwork from // @puuung1
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360magazine · 19 hours ago
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Smart Money Moves
11 Smart Money Moves You Can Try Today It would be great if money truly did grow on trees and we were to discover the massive forest of money trees just waiting to fix all of our money issues. However, that is unlikely. The good news is that there’s plenty you can do to make your financial situation better. Here are 11 ways you can give your finances a boost. Get paid for shopping and save…
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I honestly hate it when people reblog screencaps of tumblr posts... On tumblr... Like really... Really, y’all? You’re literally on the platform that originated on.... You couldn’t be assed to do a 2 second search for the og and just reblog that instead of some dumbass screenshot of it that’s been cycled through 8 different platforms before managing to wind back up on this hell hole for some unfathomable fucking reason as its own weird ass post so someone else can get the clout instead of the op’s who actually wrote the commentary you apparently find so damned hilarious? Really? Literally, where are your fucking braincells. God damn.
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Some people really be out here denying that racism exists lol. How’s it feel to live under a veritable rock of privilege, man?
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Anyways, Liberal Fascism exists, and it’s absolutely possible to go so far left you wind up right back on the right again without so much as blinking; there is a much thinner line between Left and Right extremism than you are led to believe by the ideologies you salivate over.
As progressives, liberals, leftists, etc, we need to acknowledge the fact that Fascist, Authoritarian, and Totalitarian regimes have, historically, always committed their atrocities in the name of leftist progressivism, using leftist ideas and language as the smokescreen behind which they stoke the conservative fires of fear, xenophobia, and more.
That’s not an optional awareness. It’s a mandatory one.
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randomreasonstolive · 7 days ago
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Reason to Live #5407
  So I can give myself a chance to get better. – Guest Submission
(Please don't add negative comments to these posts.)
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Day 269– short update because I’m feeling good :D
 I talk about participating more and how being more engaging and involved has affected me. I also talk about the impacts music has on my wellbeing :) maybe my experiences can help you too! Plus a pro-tip at the end that’s not really a pro-tip, just a tip :]
Aside from reinstating my good habit of putting on sunblock for school, I’ve also just realized something else beautiful.
I just had my first officer meeting for an honor society and holy cow! I really wanted to speak and show that I deserved my VP position, so I made an effort to speak... and I FEEL SO GOOD ABOUT IT!
I also had an econ presentation today and put effort into a poster and made my speech funny and informative. On my way to rehearsals, a kid from the class stopped me and just started gushing about my speech. He asked me how I did it and just talked about how it was so good and I’m—I’m getting goosebumps just writing about it now. It was so sweet and I loved it!
I also was proud of myself for speaking and sharing all these ideas I wasn’t even aware I had! I filmed myself talking about how proud I was of myself and put it on my private snap story, but as I was rewatching the video, I noticed how pretty I looked. My eyebrows looked lighter today than normal (I don’t wear makeup and never fill in my eyebrows (they’re naturally dark and somewhat thick)) but I had a brilliant smile. Even though I don’t have a jawline and you can see hints of a disappearing double chin, I looked wonderful.
I started caring more about looks when I made the move to where I am now, but I’ve tried to stop caring as much. I noticed I was and it wasn’t making me very happy, but I reread This Is Water by David Foster Wallace and he said “Worship your body and beauty and sexual allure and you will always feel ugly”. It’s chock-full of beautiful lines and I’d love to share my favorites if you asked, but... something to think about...
ALSO! I participated so much in my lang class and chose to go the somewhat riskier route of choosing a personal topic to write about... I shared in a small group and, even with masks on, I could see a kid’s jaw drop open. My teacher was there and told me it was beautiful. He asked the group to nominate a speaker to share to the class and immediately, the guy with the gaping mouth, picked me and told me my idea was so good. The teacher told the class we’d share and then said “[my name], why don’t you start us off?” I... love public speaking (not for informative presentations, because I’m not a complete nerd... but personal speeches and plays? LOVE THEM) and am pretty good at it. I inflected and delivered it beautifully, I think. This was Monday.
Wednesday, I participated a lot in an activity where we stood up, popcorn style, and read aloud quotes from This Is Water. I’m not typically one to dominate in speaking, but when it fell silent, I offered. a lot of quotes.
That’s all to say, I’ve been more active in school—in participation in classes, clubs, extracurriculars (because I’m in two shows and two improv shows).
On top of that, I’ve always known the music affects my mood. Recent years have been more difficult—obviously, though. I’m a teenager. Some months are worse than others, and you all know that December and January were just... not good months for me. It’s been getting better but sometimes... yeah. It’s an uphill climb to get to a better place! Sometimes I stumble but I’ve made an active effort to find more music and recently fell in love with TImothee Chalamet by The Foxies. It’s just such a fun song.
As well as that, a healthier relationship with the media (mcyt) I consume. I’ve also been writing a lot! For one project-based class, then lang, then my side projects! Haven’t posted on my writing tumblr in a long time because 1) school project (which I will hopefully be releasing to the public and might post the link) 2) fanfiction on ao3
Just got a text from a friend who shared her writing with me... I have a reputation with being good at English now, I think. That’s so beautiful to me. As I was writing that the... chorus, maybe (I’m no good with proper musical terms) of Honeymoon by The Shadowboxers kicked in and wow. I’m close to tears. This is a slower sadder song in a playlist I compiled. I have monthly playlists but created one that’ll span across months. I hadn’t listened to it since I created it in January, but now I’m also so appreciative of how good a taste in music I have.
I’m just falling more and more in love with myself.
Obviously, life is not all beautiful. There are rough patches in certain relationships and school is stressful and covid is lowering acceptance rates and my overall gpas not the highest and neither is my current semester gpa...
But hey! I’m trying. I’m trying so hard! And yes, I take frequent writing and video-watching breaks, but I’m doing so much.
And remember Parkinson’s Law: "work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion". I only refreshed my memory of it recently. I know it in my heart—I’ve been in so many student films and edited so many papers (even though I don’t have to) and agreed to a lot of shows... but I’m doing just as well. Without these things, I wouldn’t have better grades, because I’d just be using this free time for mcyt. Of course, they say to keep busy... but if you’re okay with small amounts of stress and are similar to me and think this might work for you, MAKE LOTS OF COMMITMENTS. Don’t if you don’t think you can—you don’t want to force yourself to flake on some events! But if you can’t bring yourself to get up and do yoga or go mingle with friends, agree to more club zoom calls, study sessions, hang outs, jam sessions. Things with other people or with deadlines that’ll hold you to a commitment.
For me, a writing blog helped for so long to find motivation! And now I have an ao3 I post on every other week and am doing so much writing! Make an art instagram account! Make a writing blog! Audition for that play, volunteer to be in a student piece! Fill up your schedule and do the most the day has to offer!
Parkinson’s Law. You can do it. I believe in you!
And I like that you can see my growth. I’m not always positive even though I try to be. I’m an internet stranger who has struggled with school and balancing my life and been saddened by her sister’s move and been affected with covid... and I’m an internet stranger who is finding ways to cope.
I baked cookies the other day. Parkinson’s Law! Obviously, I was in a depressive state. But I don’t have depression. I’m not going to sit here and preach that writing will solve everything. I can’t. It’s not my place to say so, because I was sad for a long time but still doing well enough. But I do hope this helps for all those out there struggling as well. It gets better! And then sometimes in that uphill climb you stumble and fall. It gets better and then it gets worse. But while you’re getting better, each time it gets worse, though disheartening, is better than the very start. You’re growing. You’re learning, loving, living, and learning to love living.
I can’t say I love you to a bunch of strangers. But I currently hold lots of warmth in my heart and hope that whoever reads this finds comfort and I hope you are doing as well as you can be! <3 thank you for being with me while I grow!
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matchafuckup · 9 days ago
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Could People fill out this quick survey? Its about how indoor plants have improved your mental health and issues you may have faced.
If you’ve never owned plants you can answer why you haven’t
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unfashionablehousewife · 11 days ago
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Honestly, I think that is the number one thing that people fuck up on the most whenever they say stupid shit like “well if [x dumbass opinion of mine] has to be a ‘hot take’, then so be it”... Is the fact that the baseline purpose of a ‘hot take’ is to be controversial, sure... But the controversial nature of a properly delivered ‘hot take’ stems from the fact that it’s fundamentally true on a moral, ethical, or intellectual (etc) level but social conventions do and / or believe the opposite for capitalistic, individualistic, or other inherently immoral and unethical reasons.
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unfashionablehousewife · 13 days ago
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Hey.
Destigmatize drug use, choose rehab over incarceration, recognize class disparity and mental illness' roles in addiction development, and in general just be a more compassionate human being instead of treating addicts as irredeemable pariahs. Because no one chooses addiction. 
Sincerely, a former addict.
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unfashionablehousewife · 16 days ago
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Eugh. The Sugaring / Disney Princess / ‘Divine Feminine’ crowd found my list of reminders of little changes I want to make (or, rather, things I want to remember to add back into my life once more) now that I’m finally feeling like myself again (bless Savella, and fuck Fibromyalgia).
Someone shoot me.
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unfashionablehousewife · 16 days ago
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Little Hopeful Changes
Go to sleep early and wake up early; bask in the morning sun outside; exercise and stretch your body and mind; Meditate and pray; visit libraries and museums frequently; divine your days take long walks around nature- and don’t forget to stop and smell the roses as you walk .
Don’t be afraid to collect knicknacks; use cute stationary; journal often; buy fresh flowers and greenery for your room; use the silver vanity set; don’t save anything for a “rainy day”- but do buy extra when “rainy days” happen .
Cook yourself beautiful meals with substance; try new foods; always make yourself a hot cup of tea, coffee, hot chocolate, or cider; don’t forget to drink your water .
Use rosewater on your face and neck; moisturize your skin with luxurious oils; take care of your appearance and never skimp on your skincare routine; take bubble baths; use bath bombs and epsom salts .
Leave your hair in an updo with only a slight face framing piece in a gentle curl- or braid your hair; use earth toned eyeshadow with black eye liner; stain your lips and cheeks lightly with a tender rose or muted mauves; wear a soft highlighter on the highest points of your face and apply the lightest tint of blush on the very tip of your nose; get manicures with light pink nail polish; always add a spritz of your signature scent .
Always go for quality over quantity; know your colors and fit- in other words, know your taste and what suits you best; wear that accentuate your body nicely; wear silk nightgowns and lounge in boudoir robes; dresses in cotton, linen, and flowy fabrics; accentuate with floral patters, lace trim, and ribbons; dainty gold embellishments like a thin golden band around your wrist, or a simple necklace
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unfashionablehousewife · 17 days ago
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I’ve found Chronic Illness and Medical Bujo, and I’m in love.
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unfashionablehousewife · 19 days ago
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I honestly actually hate the phrase “Vintage Style Not Vintage Values” and all its various offshoots that are so damned popular on Tumblr.
While I understand the sentiment (condemning the sexism, and racism, nationalism, and all that other nastiness the “vintage era” was known for- which is all valid and important)... It still remains that not all “vintage values” were bad. More importantly: An incredible number of them have, in fact, actually survived in the modern day and are still believed now even in Liberal and Leftist circles (whether that’s for good or ill is a matter of perspective).
Like... I get the point. But it also just grates on my nerves from a broader, more general perspective of hating hyper-sterilized, overly simplistic “motivationals” and motivational adjacent mottos. Especially when they’re tied to what is, ultimately, nothing more than performative activism. And in that regard, “VSnVV” is honestly no better than DNI lists: They don’t do anything worthwhile but code signal to those already in the know, in a way that being in the know can honestly be easily faked.
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unfashionablehousewife · 22 days ago
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Is anyone else severely squicked out by the DD cancelation? Like, not even the fact he’s being cancelled (good riddance, honestly)... But the fact that people are legitimately out there cheering it on like it's a video game or something- like "yayyyyy cancel themmm! I'll get popcornnnn!" ? 
Y'all.... When we complain about “Cancel Culture”, this weird voyeuristic kind of mentality is exactly a part of the kind of shit we're talking about; how does no one understand how truly weird and incredibly fucked up it is to be actively celebrating this kind of shit in this particular manner?
Be happy a truly trash human being is getting canceled, definitely... But holy wow. Have at least some humanity and decency; this kind of shit shouldn’t be taken lightly. Cancelling people isn’t a game.
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