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#best reads
motherbookerblog · 16 hours ago
Bookish Post - Books That Are Beautifully Written
Bookish Post – Books That Are Beautifully Written
I find myself in a bit of a pickle today. The last book that I read didn’t really require a full review and the book that I’m currently reading is taking longer than I expected. Of course, it doesn’t help that I’ve been more bothered about my Switch in the last few days to even think about reading. Whatever the reason, I find myself without a book to review and in need of a subject to write…
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"It was the end for me. And yet not an end. In all the years which have since elapsed she remains the woman I loved and lost, the unattainable one. In her China-blue eyes, so cold and inviting, so round and mirror-like, I see myself forever and ever as the ridiculous man, the lonely soul, the wanderer, the restless frustrated artist, the man in love with love, always in search of the absolute, always seeking the unattainable. Behind the iron curtain her image remains fresh and vivid as of yore, and nothing, it seems, can tarnish it or cause it to fade away."
First Love - Stand Still Like the Hummingbird -
Henry Miller
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chicklitcafe · a month ago
Warpaint: A Rollercoaster Romantic Comedy by J. J. Maya
Warpaint: A Rollercoaster Romantic Comedy by J. J. Maya
Warpaint: A Rollercoaster Romantic Comedy (A Makeup Artist in New York Trilogy) by J. J. Maya WARPAINT Is The Heartwarming and Hilarious Rom Com Read of 2020! – Will Willow Steal Your Heart? Readers Are Falling In Love With Warpaint! When Scottish Makeup Artist Willow Campbell meets dashing New Yorker, Rick, and marries him after a whirlwind romance, her new life in NYC is far from the perfect…
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natasa-pantovic · 2 months ago
Join Nataša Pantović, Maltese and Serbian researcher of ancient world’s, on a mind-boggling tour of history and sounds - from the Ancient Sumerian Priestess Sin Liturgy right up to the development of Ancient Greek and Cyrillic alphabet.
This new novel contains a dialogue between two European cultures, Roman and Greek from an Ancient Slavic perspective, an intimate encounter of Balkan, its history and culture, a glimpse into the evolution of Ancient Egyptian’s, Ancient Maltese, Ancient Greek - Ionic and Slavic sounds.
A Brief History of the world Beyond the Usual (the subtitle of the book) contains the historical overview of the development of people, sounds and symbols as frequencies.  
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katimpossible · 3 months ago
My Top 10 Books of 2020
My Top 10 Books of 2020
I do these rankings every year and I enjoy them so much as a kind of closing ritual for the old year. I have no idea if you are even interested in my thoughts on all this stuff, especially since I am not certain I even know how to describe my thoughts sometimes, but I hope you still enjoy this series of lists and rankings in the upcoming days as well! First things first, not all the books I will…
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artemisofthebow · 3 months ago
My favourite reads of 2020:
According to my goodreads account, 2020 has been an excellent year for reading. (A bit self-explenatory - considering the circumstances.) Thought I’d have a look at which of the books I read I would like to recommend. I felt some books more keenly than the other ones, of course. Many of them have a message I especially like:
1. Björnstad / Us against you: Two parts of a series of which I’m eagerly awaiting the third book. They consist of several interesting stories and characters. At the heart of it all is a hockey-team, their victories and their losses. It is a story of a town so far north that the forrest keeps eating at it, one house at the time. It is about how most of the people living there need to reajust their attitudes and how hard it can be to change. 
2. Hør her’a: Best feel-good book of the year, even if it touched upon som impactful themes and questions. The main character, Mahmoud of 15, gets a visit from his pakistani uncle and has to guide him through Oslo. This allows the reader a look into his perception of the city, of “Norwegian Norwegians” and also into his neighbourhood. Mahmouds ponders some important questions on culture and identity. There are very clear obstacles in his way, but I like how it ends well. I don’t know if it’s a realistic ending, but I loved it even so. 
3. Not forgetting the whale:  Maybe I liked this one so much because it deals with a pandemic and felt so recognisable to our own situation this year. I love dystopic books, but this one managed to make me feel good as well as describing a form of apocalypse. The key to that was the unexpected factor that solved everything in the end. A perfect read for 2020. 
4. Min mormor hälsar och säger forlåt:  A real fairy-tale for grown ups, this one. I am amazed at how a grown man was able to write this wisely about mother-daughter-relations, about grandmothers and their grandchildren. The events of the book are both tragic and difficult for a seven year-old to deal with, but Elsa gradually discovers how her grandmothers fairy-tales all had some truth to them. And she learns that she actually has some of the bravest, most interesting characters from those stories present in her life.
5. Glasshjerte: The last 5-star rating om my list this year is definitely more than crime-fiction. It has beautiful descriptions, especially those seen through the eyes of mentally disabled Robin. The relation between him and his brother, Mikkel gives heart to the book. I also liked the investigatiors dealing with their own problems, one hypocondriac and one convicted fellon. A surprising, yet melancolly conclusion to it all made an extra impression on me. 
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cineastesview · 3 months ago
Best Reads of 2020
Best Reads of 2020
I read a lot. All the time, really. A few years ago I finally learned to allow myself to stop reading books that I wasn’t enjoying and move on to another title. The end of the year is an arbitrary marker but it’s as good a time as any to look back and review the pages I’ve read. Here are eight books I enjoyed reading this year. An Unexplained Death by Mikita Brottman The strange case has since…
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myvengefulgodess · 5 months ago
Men often think they deserve a sticker for treating women like people.
Taylor Jenkins Reid, Daisy Jones & The Six
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themakingoflixuefer · 6 months ago
I've been avoiding reading this story for awhile now coz i knew just from the story's cover that it would be heart breaking. I've cried my eyes out all through out reading all the chapters. It's just so heart breaking and i feel so sad for He Zhi Shu. But i feel so twisted coz i still wanted Zhi Shu and Wen Xu to be together till the end although i know WX is a scum man. I wanted him to suffer while taking care of ZS for his remaining days and i wanted ZS to be with the man he loves and feel his love and care one last time. At the same time, I'm also sorry for Dr. Ai, i hope he meets someone who will have a mutually undying love.
While writing this,i still seem to be crying and in pain from finishing the story, but i don't regret reading it. It's honestly a good read.
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medkk · 9 months ago
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Music for ever
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Favourite Reads in 2019
A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J Maas
“A perfect, pretty trap, that mortal part of me warned.  A trap designed from a time when humans were prey; now laid for a smarter, immortal sort of game.”
I guess I have to admit that I only actually started reading this author in April 2019.  I had actually heard of her books in 2016 but for some reason it just didn't click in me to pick them up!  But I am beyond glad that I eventually did, even if it was three years later... So I read the first book A Court of Thorns and Roses, and absolutely fell in love.  This world that Maas has built is full to the brim with everything a fantasy lover could want.  So when I picked up the second book A Court of Mist and Fury I only fell in love even further.  
This book has adventure, a tense romance setting it deals with relatable themes. I loved going on a journey with Feyre, even if my own journey wasn’t surrounded by beautiful fae people and mountains and everything you could ever dream of.  However, if I had to describe Maas's writing style in two words, they would be 1) elegant, and 2) vivid.  She creates this stunning world in a way that captures you, and makes you want to keep reading.  I think she creates a fantastic balance between world building, descriptions and dialogue which I personally think is essential in fantasy novels.  
One of the things that people talk a lot about when it comes to this series is the reader’s age.  This is classified as a young adult book, but a lot of people think it should be adult.  I personally think it is fine for teens, as long as they are mature readers and can deal with the romance (specifically in this book).  I would say this is fine for a mid-teen age if they can read more mature content.  The romance does get intense in this one and many people think it dominates the book too much, however I think the whole reason behind this is to allow the character development and dynamic between the two main characters to show.  Especially seeing Rhysand's own development and coming to see his story and the reasons behind the kind of person he was in the first book.  But overall, I love this series and I seriously recommend it to anyone who wants to binge a high-fantasy series.  The fanart for this series is also incredible so I suggest you check it out! (I only advise you be careful of spoilers as the internet is covered in them.)
Heir of Fire by Sarah J Maas 
“But it was not some fell creature who waited in the rain.  A large white-tailed hawk was perched in the shadows.  It sat absolutely still.  But the hawk's eyes--there was something strange about them.”
This series is just... wow. 
The Throne of Glass series is the longest series I have ever read.  And I want it to be even longer, that is how good it is.  Heir of Fire is the third book (not including the prequel book) of the series.  This one made me laugh and cry and all the rest.  I love it for how different it is from the previous two.  In the first book, we meet a daring assassin who won't hesitate at a single kill, and in this book, we start to see Celaena in a different light.  I’m not going to spoil anything but the whole situation of the first couple of chapters left me laughing out loud because it was such an unusual context to see our main character in.   Sarah J Maas introduces new characters in a very clever way.  It doesn't feel like she is forcing them into the plot just to give them a shining moment.  The moment you meet them it feels like they have always belonged in the story, and she directs the reader’s feelings toward them in a very subtle but specific way.  For example, I really don't like it when in a book I'm reading, a new character is introduced and I have no idea how I’m supposed to feel about them and this has occasionally it has ruined books for me!  I like it when an author very discreetly shapes our feelings towards them.  In the past for example, I may have been reading a situation where there was a love triangle, and I end up shipping the wrong two people the entire book.  Or if I end up hating a character the whole time when we are supposed to be liking them.  And with Throne of Glass, there are a lot of characters, and Maas weaves them all into the story so well.   So if you are looking for an insane fantasy journey that leaves you on the edge of your seat, pick up the first book 'Throne of Glass' and you will fall into a world that you never want to leave! Here is the reading order for this series if you want to start: 1. Throne of Glass  2. Crown of Midnight  3. The Assassin's Blade  4. Heir of Fire  5. Queen of Shadows  6. Empire of Storms  7. Tower of Dawn  8. Kingdom of Ash  
A Gathering of Shadows by V. E. Schwab
“Everyone thinks I have a death wish, you know?  But I don't want to die - dying is easy.   No.  I want to live, but getting close to death is the only way to feel alive.”
V. E. Schwab created a masterpiece with this one. I think the first thing I noticed when I picked up the fist book 'A Darker Shade of Magic' was the writing style.  It is so elegant.  The descriptions are so real but not wordy, and that really stood out for me.  I was able to easily imagine the different worlds that were described which is so good because I can't enjoy a book if my mind is empty.  This filled me up with pictures and it played out like a movie in my head.   I have to give special mention to the opening scene of this book. Not only was the writing just incredible, but just the idea of it. Creative, clever and stylish.  My jaw dropped after reading it, I had to put the book down and just think about how good it was.  One of the best openings I've ever read.   If you have never read this series, I suggest putting it on the priority to-be-read list. Here is a brief non-spoiler description of the first book.  We are set in a world of four parallel Londons: Grey London, Red London, White London and Black London.  Each London has a different relationship with magic, and Red London where are most of the time could be seen as the perfect London where there is a perfect balance and dynamic between society and magic. Kell is one of the very few people who can pass between these worlds and he has a bad habit of smuggling objects between worlds.  One day he comes across an object of dark power that does not belong in his world, and other people are going to come after him for it.  Our two main characters who are Kell and Lila are a brilliant duo.  They bring comedy, drama and teeth-gritting action to the story that will leave you holding your breath in many of the scenes.
Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo 
“ "I'll just hire Matthias' ghost to kick your ghost's ass."                                         "My ghost won’t associate with your ghost," said Matthias primly, and then wondered if the sea air was rotting his brain." ”
Now this book was just insane.  Amazing and insane.
To put it simply... I loved this book.  It was a fantastic read and I couldn't put it down. The book follows a group of very different outcasts on a job across the sea where they are being hired to pull off an impossible heist.  And it just gets better and better.  Leigh Bardugo has created characters that are so unique and utter genius.  Each character has such a great backstory and there is a crazy amount of detail to their personalities, Kaz Brekker in particular.  He has such a dangerous character to him and can present such recklessness at times but he also has qualities that make him seem so vulnerable and fragile. 
This book has such a daring spark about it and I love the direction of the story.  It is a firm plot throughout with each character’s journey carefully intertwined alongside it.  Inej is one of my favourite characters and I love that she is so daring and unshrinking to the challenges she is presented.  She also compliments Kaz, and in fact all of the other characters in the main circle extremely well.  I seriously recommend this book to someone who wants a great adventure, chaotic energy, violence and lots of content with gangs and shady behaviour.  I loved it and will definitely re-read it.
A Monster Calls by Patrick Ness
“Your mind will believe comforting lies while also knowing the painful truths that make those lies necessary.  And your mind will punish you for believing both.”
One of the best books I have ever read.
This book is very special to me.  I have never quite reacted to a book the way I did at this one.  It is a very powerful and strong story, and something I think many more people need to read.  I read this in one sitting at about 11pm one night.  It is a truly stunning and emotional book that deals with the difficult theme of death in a family. But it covers the concept of accepting extremely difficult truths that you refuse to face and that you close yourself off to.  The story holds an incredible amount of emotional impact, due to the way that Ness goes about telling the story.  I was extremely emotional reading this book, but it was so worth it because it is written in such a beautiful way.  If I could give a book more than five stars, this is the one to give it to.
Monsters of Men by Patrick Ness  
“Worst is the one who knows better and does nothing.”
An incredible adventure that has some great meanings behind the story. The Chaos Walking trilogy is hands down fantastic.  When I worked in a bookshop, I recommended it to so many people and they all ended up buying it after I told them what it was about.  The story is so unique and it just builds and builds throughout the three books.  The story is about a New World where a disease called the Noise killed all of the women, and it causes everyone to hear each other’s thoughts.   The book follows a boy called Todd Hewitt who one day comes across a spot of complete silence which is impossible.  He doesn't realise that this small moment will change his life forever and he shortly discovers that he has to leave and run away immediately, and along the way he faces many challenges and learns many things about the world he lives in and also about himself.  Monsters of Men is the final book of the series and it is a fantastic finale.  Everything that Todd has experienced and learnt will test him to the limits and cause him to question who he is and wants to be.  The story in this is so strong and has huge emotional impact especially at the end where the characters are faced with very emotional but relatable decisions.   The characters that surround Todd are fantastic, they bring in eye-opening perspectives and add to the plot immensely. It is a fantastic adventure where Todd has to decide whether he must obey to society and its rules or do what is right, and occasionally he finds that neither can lead to good consequences, and all he can do is face the mistakes he made as he comes to terms with the fact that the world he lives in is not what he thought it to be his whole life. This story will grip you from start to finish.  The book is written in the mind of a thirteen year old boy, however it does not feel immature in any way at all, so do not let that put you off.  The character development is so impressive in this series and I recommend diving into this world as soon as possible.
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medkk · a year ago
The day u think it's the worst, may be the best someday
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good-books-to-read · 2 years ago
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If you love space travel, dust bunnies assassins(not really) and ghost statutes and of course love this is the book for you
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amatrice14 · 2 years ago
Parce que l'amour est humble ,il n'humilie personne .
Young Texts
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excessivebookshelf · 2 years ago
just the best
books I read this year
Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Spinning Silver by Naomi Novik
Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Kwan
Island of Ghosts by Gillian Bradshaw
All Systems Red by Martha Wells
What It Means When a Man Falls from the Sky by Lesley Nneka Arimah
Lethal White by Robert Galbraith
You've Been So Lucky Already by Alethea Black
To All the Boys I've Loved Before by Jenny Han
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brennanbookblog · 2 years ago
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The Good Demon 
by Jimmy Cajoleas
This book is the perfect treat for the fall. Jimmy Cajoleas has created a delightfully dark YA unlike anything I’ve read. The Good Demon delves down the twisty terrain of southern dark magic in the bible belt from the perspective of a young possessed - or, formerly possessed teen.
Clare’s demon was exorcised. And Clare wants “Her” back.
So ensues Clare’s twisty macabre quest to reclaim her inner demon. Cajoleas excels at rendering a thoroughly creepy, gruesome backdrop for his tale while also honestly depicting Clare’s disturbing reality. The piece is a breeze to read, and so easy, in fact, it would be simple to overlook the depth of its message.
This deceptively light YA book may house a fable a la The Ocean at the End of the Lane.  So not be fooled by its dark magic. It may just be your own inner demons trying to trick you.
*B3 would like to thank the publishers for the ARC!
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wickedgamesfanfic · 3 years ago
Chapter 1
"I'm really not feeling this idea." I admitted pulling at the legs of my cream colored romper before gawking over my body in the mirror.
"Doesn't matter. It's the last minute. Changing your mind at the very last minute goes against every bestie code ever established." Imena playfully joked. "Besides it's just a party. Last I checked you were still into those." She said rolling her eyes. Imena couldn't understand the place I was in my life and I couldn't blame her. Shit I barely understood it myself. All I knew was things that used to excite me were becoming old. And I do mean fast.
"I'm still into parties." I admitted. I still enjoyed a good wholesome kick back every once in a while but this was no average party. "But hanging around your snobby Hollywood friends is not what I'd consider my type of soiree."
"They are not that bad. You just gotta loosen up a bit. And stop being so judgmental. Remember there was once a time when you didn't think you were even going to like me." She small smiled before tugging at my top in an attempt to expose more cleavage than I was comfortable with. I laughed before playfully smacking her hands away and pulling my top back up a bit.
"Who ever said I liked you?' I quizzed with a raised brow.
"Come on cow!" She sang playfully smacking me on the bottom with her clutch before heading towards the door. I looked myself over in the mirror once more. Here goes nothing.
I stood on my deck as the sun left foot prints across the sky. Taking in the beautiful property that I was lucky enough to call my home. And wishing there was more time in a day. Just for moments like this. My life had become so hectic. I rarely found time to just enjoy the simple things. Things like watching the sunset.
Now don't get me wrong. I'm far from complaining. What did I have to complain about? Everything I had worked so hard for had slowly but surely become mine. All my late nights and early mornings had manifest my dreams into reality. And I was grateful. But if I had to be completely honest ... something was missing.
"You gotta be kidding me?" Darwin expressed spooking the shit out of me as he stepped onto my deck.
"What the fuck bro?!" I yelled trying to calm my nerves. This was supposed to be a gated property but so much for that. "How the fuck?" I quizzed through clenched teeth as he began to chuckle before briefly slapping hands and pulling me into a brotherly hug.
"I told you to stay woke. Both literally and figuratively. I've been banging that little chick Jessica for about three weeks now. Ever since your birthday cook out. She'll let me into her mother's casket if I whisper the right thing into her ear." He said mischievously. "You're not even dressed." He scuffed slapping his palm against his forehead.
"About that ..." I started before turning my back to him.
"Nope ... don't even try it. You owe me a night out. We supposed to be boys. You been knowing me since we were yay high." He stated placing his hand to his knees.
"It's just that ..." I started again before quickly being cut off yet again.
"It's just that my ass." He stated angrily. "Look you drag me to all your bougie gatherings and all I ask is that you accompany me to one party. Is that too much to ask for?" He quizzed.
"Nah bruh it's just that ..." I started for the third time before he quickly cut me off again.  
"Imena's going to be there." He whispered and I knew right at that moment I no longer had any other choice but to go. Darwin was like a little brother to me. And he had confided in me how into this Imena chick he really was. She was an aspiring actress. From the Midwest full of spunk and personality. Darwin had dropped my name more than once in an effort to perk her naïve ears. And even to my own surprise it had worked. He went from throwing weak shots into her DM's to full blown phone conversations after accompanying me to a few after parties and posting pics to his Instagram.
Although this backyard get together wasn't necessarily my scene I figured what hurt could it do. For the sake of my brother's pride I could make a brief appearance. Maybe snag a little snack for later and I wasn't talking about food. Besides I wasn't ready to explain the truth to him. The fact that I wasn't as happy as I appeared to be and still wasn't quite sure why.
"I'll be down in ten." I said handing him the keys to my European sports car.
We walked up to the mini mansion off the shore of one of Los Angeles many beaches. I instantly began to feel uneasy as we were led through the home and into the backyard. The music was loud and the smell of gas run grills was strong. For the life of me I couldn't understand their desire for gas grilled meat.
I looked around and wasn't in the least bit surprised by what I saw. The typical L.A. party scene. Music, pools, half naked women and men dressed to impress drizzled in gold jewelry. I rolled my eyes lightly. "See it's not that bad." Imena said nudging me with her shoulder. I shrugged mine feeling the complete opposite as I searched for the bar. I already knew I was going to need at least two strong drinks if I was going to attempt to enjoy the night.
I headed for the bar as Imena spotted a few of her west coast buddies. She waved happily before telling me she'd join me shortly. I waved her off not in the least bit surprised that she had left me to my lonesome so quickly. I found a spot at the end of the bar before pulling out my iPhone and scrolling through my Instagram as I waited for the bartender to tend to me. She finally asked me for my drink order and I placed it. A coke and henny was in order because I was far from my comfort zone.
Upon accepting the drink and tipping her generously I placed the thin straw against my full lips. Taking a moment to take in the scenery that had engulfed me. It was beautiful here. Even the people were a site to see. But somehow it lacked depth. Everything here seemed so superficial. Nothing ever touching further than the surface. And it was such a pity. What was beauty without depth? A question that I had pondered as a writer my entire life.
I took in my surroundings. A bunch of twenty something year olds caught up in living in the moment. And it was true that all we ever had for sure was the moment ... but was that all. I moved here not too long ago. Imena had graciously taken me in after a self-published book I had written caught the eye of a major screen writer and director. Her acting career was slowly but surely taking off and the doe eyed naïve girl I met in junior high had begun to blossom in front of not only my eyes but the eyes of thousands.  And I was happy for her. I truly was.
But L.A. was something I wasn't prepared for. As a writer I was used to working in the background. Never intending to be in the spotlight. I was a watcher. A creep. An observer. I took into myself my surroundings. Never seeking to be sought.
I sipped my drink as my gaze ventured into the stars. The beach at night being one of the few times the sky and the ocean seemed to become one. I gazed a little longer before sipping a few more sips from my cup and closing my eyes. Thinking to myself how close I was to success. And possibly purchasing my own west coast beach front property. Minus the crowd.
As I sat on the stool at the edge of the bar an unknown heat encompassed me. Breaking me away from not only my dreams but my thoughts. And an unnerving feeling swept over my body. I opened my eyes and quickly began to scan over my surroundings. In search of what had been searching for me. Energy seeking energy. Heat seeking heat. Belonging seeking belonging. Understanding seeking understanding. My eyes falling on Michael B. Jordan.  
I sat firmly on a couch located to the left of the DJ's booth. It wasn't very private but I'd take what I could get. I had no intentions on working the crowd. I was only here to support my brother. And other than that I planned to stay out of the way for the most part.  
We had been here for all of 40 minutes and I was well into my second drink. I wondered if my brother had gotten stood up. And plotted on ways to never let him live this down. I watched the entrance as many faces flooded through it. Some familiar and others I'd never laid eyes on. One face however was all too familiar. Lydia had walked in with a couple of her friends and I strongly entertained the idea of sneaking out but quickly disregarded it. I was getting way too old to be ducking females. If she wanted to confront me about my recent lack of interest in her then she had the right to do just that. I'll admit I could have handle the situation more maturely but then again I knew she'd want an explanation for why I was blocking her out. Especially when things were going so well between us.
The truth is I really didn't have an answer for her. It just didn't feel right. At least not anymore. She was a cool girl and all. The type of girl who didn't ask for much. She just fell into place. She didn't hassle me about a title and would barely bat an eye if I went out with another girl. And whenever I'd call she'd come running. She was bad as hell. And to most niggas she'd probably be a dream come true.
But not to me. At least not anymore. I had quickly found myself bored with her. And I couldn't even say it was entirely her. Maybe I had become bored with myself. Unsatisfied with my current lifestyle. At one point a cute face and a banging body was all I needed in a female. I wasn't too concerned with much else.
But now I found myself yearning for mental stimulation. I don't know when or how it happened. I just woke up one day and needed something more. I wanted to be challenged. I wanted a woman who had a mind of her own. A woman with a voice and a presence that could bring even the strongest man to his knees. A woman who could stop the hands of time. And Lydia wasn't that. None of the women in my phone were that. I mean other than my mother. Now that woman ...
Lydia eventually spotted me. Our eyes locked for a moment and to my surprise she didn't come stomping my way. She continued to mix and mingle with her friends and for a moment I was relieved. But then in she walked. And just for like that ... time stood still.
She walked a few steps behind a very pretty model like girl. But her looks were unchallenged. She stood about 5'8. Caramel Skin. And had a body no surgeon could recreate. My eyes glazed over physique that was nicely wrapped in a fitted romper that left little to the imagination. It amazed me that a fully clothed girl in a party full of half-naked women had my full attention.
I watched as her friend excused herself before heading towards the pool. She rolled her almond shaped eyes before heading to the bar. I chuckled to myself realizing I wasn't the only one who had been dragged here. She took a seat at the very end of the bar. Almost out of my eye site so I placed my elbows to my knees to get a better look. She took a sip from her drink before briefly rolling her neck. I watched as her eyes became fixated on the ocean before her head turned towards the night sky. She took a few more sips, her gaze never wondering. And I thought to myself what a sight to see. She could care less about the party and the scene. The stars had her full attention.
And I couldn't stop staring at her. God knows I tried. This wasn't like me. But I couldn't look away. Everything about her drew me in. Her full lips. The tightly coiled curls that danced just above her shoulders. Then she looked my way. Our eyes locked. And to my surprise she rolled her eyes before returning her attention to the stars.
I rolled my eyes before returning my gaze to the universe. Since I had been in L.A. I had run across a couple of hims. And unimpressed wasn't even the word. Especially given the rumors I had heard about him. And I didn't need that shit in my life. The hell was he staring at me for. We both know I'm not his type.
"Shani." Imena said lightly tapping me on the shoulder. I turned in my seat to find her and Darwin wrapped in each others arms. I only knew of him from her. She was absolutely smitten with him. But I wasn't sure if it's was because of his personality or the connections he had to the entertainment industry that he constantly pushed down her hopeful throat.
"Hello." I said before extending my hand to shake his. He took it but placed a kiss on it instead of y'all shaking it.  It took everything in me not to roll my eyes yet again.
"Shani this is Darwin. Darwin this is Shani." She introduced smiling widely.
"Nice to meet you." I managed to get out. Before quickly pulling my hand away and wiping the bit of spit he had left on it on my romper.
"I'd like for you ladies to join us." He said before looking over in the direction I had just pulled my attention away from. I hesitated for a moment before Imena grabbed my hand pulling me off the stool.
I followed closely behind the two as we neared the DJ booth. Trying my hardest not to look at him again. But I could still feel his eyes on me. I could still feel the heat from his gaze.
"Ladies this is my brother Michael B. Jordan. Michael this is the one and only Imena." He admitted grinning into her cheek. Her eyes were however fixated on the prize beneath us. "And her best friend Shani." He acknowledged throwing a head nod in my direction.  
Imena quickly broke away from us to wrap Michael in a loving hug. I looked on in amusement. How could Darwin be so stupid? She had gotten just exactly what she wanted from him without barely giving him anything more then a little attention. But we were supposed to be the country bumpkins.
The man I only knew from one side of the camera lightly embraced her but his eyes stayed focused on me.  And for a moment I felt uncomfortable. As if his sight was piercing through me.
She eventually released him. He small smiled. Before slowly rising to his feet. And he took a step or two forward. Towering over my body and my entire existence. I took a step back in an attempt to catch my breath never looking directly into his handsome face. He cleared his throat before mimicking my steps.
"Michael." He said in a deep voice before extending his hand for me to shake.  I quickly looked into his face. Into his eyes. Then away.
"Shani."  I whispered placing my hand in his. Wondering where my strength had run away to.  And to my surprise he gently pulled me into his chest.  And I lost my breath.
Lord knows I hated everything he seemed to stand for. A young successful black man who was caught in the lights. The attention. The stardom. The fame.
I stood dazed as he nodded his head at Darwin. Who quickly gathered Imena together and pulled her off into the party. I watched him drag her away over my shoulder. She whispered "I'll be right back." Before disappearing into the crowd.
"It's nice to meet you." He said just above a whisper. The warmth of his breath tickling the side of my neck. I shivered lightly before returning my attention to him.
"Same." I gazed into his face realizing we were alone in this corner. He smiled never releasing my hand. But instead leading me to a couch a few steps away.  
I reluctantly took a seat next to him. He scooted closer to me before sitting back and placing his arm behind me. My nose quickly taking in the beautiful scent of his cologne.
"What brings you to L.A.?" He asked catching me off guard.
"I'm from L.A." I lied trying my hardest to find Imena in the crowd.
He lightly chuckled causing me to turn in my seat. He shook his head slowly and I took a moment to appreciate how attractive his dimples really were.  
"What's so funny?" I asked curiously.
"You." He admitted. "You're not from L.A." He said matter-of-factly. "One look at you and I could tell you weren't from here." He furthered. Still slightly amused with himself.
I immediately became offended. "What in the fuck is that supposed to mean? Just because I don't look like the bimbos you're used to doesn't mean shit." I spat.
"I meant no disrespect." He admitted as his eyebrows furrowed. But it was too late. I was already pissed.
"Michael B. Jordan. Nice to meet you. But don't let little ole me take up anymore of your time. There are plenty of white bimbos here who would appreciate it more." I said before quickly standing to my feet and walking away.
"White bimbos." I repeated out loud to myself but only loud enough for me to hear it. I laughed a bit before continuing to watch her walk away.  Guess it's safe to say she's heard the rumors.  It's funny how lies sometimes become the truth.
I watched as she took the same seat she had just left at the bar. I rubbed my fingers down my chin. Wondering how I had fucked up that fast. I wasn't trying to be funny. I was just being honest. Anybody here would be able to tell she wasn't from these parts.
And to be honest that was a plus. I loved the sight of her. A real body and gorgeous face without the heavy makeup. The natural hair that danced above her shoulders. The fact that she wasn't start struck. At least not by a celebrity.
I continued to watch her as I had before. She ordered another drink. And I once again sat elbow to knee just to get a view. I wasn't done with her. Regardless of what she thought.  
I sat in wait. Waiting for her to look over her shoulder. Waiting for her to look in my direction. I knew she could still feel me watching. I knew our connection hadn't been that easily broken.
Just then the DJ played Wicked Games by The Weekend.  Our eyes locked. I bit my lip. She quivered. Imena approached her and pulled her from her seat. And the two began to dance together.
Slowly and seductively. I could tell that second drink had broken down barriers I myself could not reach. I enjoyed the view. Her hips winding to the music as her eyes stayed focused on mine.  The way her hands slid up and down her hips. I bit my lip even harder drawing a bit of blood.
I could feel myself rising in my jeans. So I slowly sat back. Quickly readjusting my pants. I took a deep breath before checking my surroundings. Lydia had somehow made her way over to me.
She seductively walked over into my lap. I eyed her legs as they wrapped around my hips. And she placed her pale face in front of mines. Her brown eyes full of lust. She threw her brown hair over one shoulder before attempting to grind on me.  And my dick immediately grew limp.
I gently pushed her away before standing to my feet. She softly pulled at me but I had no intentions on staying. My eyes were still on her. I noticed her dismay as Lydia sat on my lap. A harsh eye roll followed before she closed them.
So I decided to take this to my advantage. I slowly approached as she continued to slow wind with Imena. Upon reaching the two I slowly placed my hands on her hips and winked at Imena who had seen me coming. She eagerly stepped away as Shani continued to dance into my hips. And I tried my hardest to match each step. Slowly allowing my hands to travel down her thighs and back up her stomach. Even allowing one of my hands to cup her breast. A shallow breath managed to escape her lips.
But her eyes never opened. And we continued to bump and grind. Every push of her hips against me sending waves of pleasure through my body. And in this moment I knew she was what I had been seeking. All along.
As the song slowly came to an end her movements became wilder. But even more sexy. She quickly turned around and into my chest. I placed my hands into her hair pulling her face closer to mines. Her lips separated as did mines. And the warmth of our breathes could be felt as she winded against my dick.
I closed my eyes and let the music take me away. As my dick grew harder and harder. I had never been so turned on by the sight of a woman or let alone just the touch. I pulled her closer as the sound of her shallow breathing brought me closer and closer to climax.
And just as quickly as the song had started it had ended. Her body closely placed against mine. Our breathing short and sharp as the crowd began to clap. Neither of us realizing we had an audience.
Her eyes fluttered open. Finally meeting mine which had never closed. I stared deep into hers as she tried to reclaim her breath. Enjoying the beat of her heart against mine. She looked at me for a moment longer than I expected and I saw the truth.
She quickly fluttered her eye lashes before pulling away in embarrassment. I stood where she left me as she made her way back to her original seat at the bar. The attention we had unintentionally brought clapped and faded away.  
She sat with her back to me. I approached cautiously. Lightly tapping her on the shoulder. She slowly looked over it. "Can you do me a favor my brown skin angel? Could you tap that white woman for me?" I joked. And to my surprise she laughed. She slowly turned in her seat. And I stepped further into her. Remind me to thank Darwin.
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theantisofa · 3 years ago
The lens of the influencer is positioned a selfie-stick away from real life and is managed by algorithms, filtered by software and powered by likes. Which means, ultimately, that your favourite influencer is no more or less authentic than your favourite brand of deodorant.
Rachel Coldicutt: on fashion, the female and the robot gaze.
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