#ben: lol no i'm actually totally a shit

[unproduciblesmackdown]

thinking about how of course billions is about people trapped in eternal battle world, and trapped because they won't ever exit, and don't want to because that's the only way they can define their idea of themself or like move through life, to the degree they have to just create or find another battle if one ends or they don't have enough going on at once or they're unhappy about anything & can only respond to that the only way they'll respond to anything: finding someone to consider a target to Defeat & being like nice, i'm so competent & active as a person, so with any other issues in my life, i'm sure it's not my fault at least

and it's been clear that to be someone at the Center of the show means needing to be inflexible enough to never leave that life, which also probably means never engaging in genuine self-reflection besides like, fuming in distress for 5 sec & then immediately searching for blame for someone else, or calling up your designated moral supporter who'll tell you you're upset b/c you're very complex & sympathetic & maybe if you do [xyz] you'll be able to Keep Winning, so like, don't worry, we'll never get too off track here. you have someone like connerty who cares so much about playing by the rules ft. ethics, but he was also someone completely inflexible who would give a shit like "ha ha you broke the law" and be Defeated b/c like yeah damn you do got him in that situation. he may then have gained the flexibility to throw a punch when he's already imprisoned but he's still just gotta retire & pursue some completely different goals

this in contrast with like, what a coincidence (surely not) that the more flexible characters are the ones who also do introspect & reflect & genuinely think about & question themselves ever, & how even beyond that, being in this world of people who overwhelmingly are thee opposite & aiming for a static sense of self & thus strategy for navigating life & all interactions & situations, the more reflective parties also tend to accept both Blame & the fruitlessness of pushing for more/different/better from the people & relationships & situations they're amongst. those willing to take on responsibility at all surrounded by people casting all of it off, always, w/the former already primed to take blame & the latter primed to be looking to find the blame in anyone else, a powerful mismatch....which allows the flexible parties to also put up with shit for longer lol like if they got fed up that quickly or recognized the dead-end here they'd just leave the show lol. like wow can't believe taylor spent their whole life already stuck having to deal with someone who's so very much like these bullshit central men & those trying to emulate them, & perhaps also then have a lifetime of experience extending endless patience & sympathy with little to no expectations for more from people who put up with such a bullshit man & his effects on everything around him, like, what do you mean taylor's mom hasn't seen them b/c douglas didn't want to see them b/c he wasn't yet motivated enough to have to exercise begrudging shows of basic respect. whilest sure seems like taylor felt more concern & basically stated their responsibility re: trying to make their relationship with their dad work / basically take on the task of making his life work for him according to his sense of himself (genius! who deserves the recognition thusly!) and doesn't seem to take on this role re: their mom, who nevertheless is just presumed to move closer to them along w/douglas. and here's taylor never truly putting their foot down re: wendy, no matter what, able to have no real positive expectations in how wendy treats them or thinks of them, but also always able to extend sympathy / decent treatment themself

thinking of like team ben out here as the Nicer axe cap or mpc people who also happen to be people absorbing the L's, blaming themselves for being at the bottom of the hierarchy & being subjected to the always negative treatment doled out to them accordingly, and, winstonesquely, still generally like extending genuine gestures of amicability, efforts of constructive actual communication, etc, & this being shut down & likely punished by all the people around them who won't handle that kind of thing. that Of Course nobody's actually supported around here, like, at best they'll get some kind of "well you're actually talented & valuable :)...." (so why aren't they already treated in a way such that they're aware of this?) "....so just have more confidence already god!" wherein (a) again that just means it's Their Fault that they're having a miserable time at the hands of others & (b) their having "confidence" doesn't really mean like, an emotional buffer between their sense of self-esteem & the message of inferiority in how they're treated, it has to mean externally acting different in some ways, more like A Winner, more like everyone else. the limits of ben trying to sometimes be a buffer for tuk as that kind of friend/mentor role, where either it simply fails or ben's Help is more unilateral "correction." that generally only any increase in aggressive hostility gets them anywhere, and really not that far.

the way dollar bill could always act however he wanted & they could always clean up his messes / save him from himself / just flatout blame other people for what dollar bill did to them or someone else; success in being a mini axe in that way for sure. dollar bill going off the rails over his literal dollar bill & that's not a problem, he's validated b/c he's upset, & b/c rudy knew he'd be upset it's really all rudy's fault....who just so happens to be more of a loser, what with his glasses & possible masturbation ever and all. whilest even when dollar bill is like every season being shit at his job & life, well, just find a loser to trounce while everyone ignores this, cheers you on, takes on responsibility for fixing things for you, blames the person targeted probably. dollar bill couldn't even do in office transphobic hate crime physical attacks, or that but while yelling the r word at the autistic guy he's already harrassing & threatening, without it being really basically the target's fault, & hey, as long as no investors are watching. and we're still dragging dollar bill back to the office b/c uhhh yeah!!

& then of course there's winston, who, like a loser, says things in real efforts for real communication with others, that they winningly can only bring themselves to respond to as "he's not allowed to talk, that's out of line, i have to punish/deny this to reassert our respective status" except for, sometimes, taylor actually communicating in turn, or even simply receiving the information. winston in a duo with the very winning & worthy rian, being something of a quasirival for 5 seconds but even during then, and since, trying to be amicable to establish an actually positive dynamic, trying for actual communication, engaging flexibly & actively based on her feedback & her terms & etc to try to find some more success; versus rian completely inflexible, unwilling to respond to efforts to communicate, unwilling to have an actual relationship with any flexibility & genuineness in turn, or see winston as a person of course, and engage with real emotions. which is hardly an exclusive response of hers, like, everyone else is just the same, she's just also the one interacting with him more often and personally bullying him & standing next to him & immediately responding with clear contempt when he tries things like earnest expressions of "hey rian could you not do what you just did b/c it makes me feel like shit, probably b/c that's what you're trying to do" and "hey that was cool what you just did b/c it makes me feel like—" b/c like, what a loser. real winners cannot handle engaging with another person as a person. when you can just make up & stick to a narrative about "oh but i don't hate winston, who i feel is inherently beneath me. i wouldn't wanna feel bad about killing him, not when i could feel fine about administering more of a death by a thousand cuts with some other people helping out & hey maybe it was their cut that did it after all....but also if you're like 'pwease' then eh sure" or that winston's got a lesser inner existence anyways, some classic dehumanization, no complexity there, & hurting him isn't real, & it'd never be you in his position anyways! especially the more you're buying into "yeah i'm more of a person / more deserving / more real & sympathetic & correct than him :)" & being cheered on as you act that out. pretty cringe of winston to be earnest, flexible, openly trying & wanting & needing things, sounds bad & silly. unlike the winners around him who really cannot handle him or any of these things about him. of course near equivalent in loserness, tuk, is the person with the realest most amicable relationship with him. both of them too incompetent to realize their mutual failings in this, ha ha, real winners are repulsed & fleeing & can't handle a basic exchange with either of them. and the imbalance re: how little others are willing to give them in interest, consideration, time, words, etc, while they're always trying Too Much re: the disinterested others, totally proves their unworthiness

winston and tuk always having to stay at the bottom of the hierarchy, winston only able to be shitted on even as he extricates himself, ending up surrounded by people who will only act "correctly" according to their superior roles & this mf wags only processing anything as "did that reinforce my being a correct/winning person???" & only responding by trying to reassert to others how much of a winner they are, which requires establishing a loser, and crushing them. winston having recognized / gotten fed up with a bullshit scenario & had realistic expectations of those around them & spent those years being treated like shit yet never crushing an enemy to restore his ego & also spent those years trying to communicate and work with others and share actual info and make actual connections & now independently choosing to make a big shift in his life so that things can be different? is definitely the contemptible loser here while everyone else looks very good faffing around for an episode getting some temporary ego boosts & being very "correct" in every response to winston, even pointing out that rian even noticing something genuine & positive from winston in the absence of it anywhere is first & foremost incorrect, which rian will Also immediately drop in the face of that "well yeah it's more correct to prioritize Anything else. like that he's pathetic & mpc 5ever" like wuh oh rian being doomed from 5x08 "time to embrace acting more correct now" & being truly inflexible from that point on, never had a moment of conflict not resolved by [ignoring that] &/or again just getting someone more correct to declare how it'll be answered. taylor at their most flexible and Taylorest and most juxtaposed with central men & static ossified "winners" when they are also at their best in engaging with winston. taylor Like winston & vice versa in so many substantial & interesting ways, despite their relating to / sympathizing with / devoting much more effort & interest to people more like the central men. that here we are, when taylor might have to give up on Being A Winner, someone who'll walk away with status & resources & a seamless transition into some established business foundation, to really get the wins that matter, against pince, &/or to clock out of a sunk cost factory, &/or to not have strangled every part of themself that can be in conflict with this general situation into eternal dormancy. don't You dare blame latency lol, the taylor who gets to exist outside the conditional "well i guess you're a winner who's very useful to me, like dumping work on you & blaming you if it goes awry. and you can act like a Real winner in the ways that really matter (crushing people)"....is also a taylor who can be rejected & shut down & shut out & have their value denied & be treated shittily despite even knowing they'd be / are good at this shit, superlatively even, & could never feel okay just being regarded as a tool stashed away at someone's disposal. & Has been treated shittly & is liable to accept blame, unilateral responsibility for other's selves & feelings & actions & lives, & marinate in self-loathing. while people who refuse any introspection, questioning, responsibility, awareness, etc, & refuse to handle the least of genuine interactions/relationships with others as real people, are glad to scoff at them & dismiss them & imply or assert their superiority, like, wow have You got a lot to learn, or maybe you can't b/c you're inherently inferior. all just like re: winston!

tl;dr shoutout to the flexible characters who like can & do reflect & change things up actually, just so happening to always be Losing for this in the [only way to win is not to play] arena of fake winners seeing if they can consider themselves superior to everyone else & only even possibly correct always & forever, in the pyramid scheme of social hierarchy & also capitalism

#real winners quit! it's winston #society if rian Wasn't quickly boxed in & given the ''prominence'' of being Used for other characters #and where we could more truly have this like triumvirate of seeing yourself in both the other two parties in tmc lol #almost a similar fate re: lauren showing up Worthily Yet Zanily! then Most offbeatness falls away / dating is in the bg #& she's mostly Around & doing general [just competent things] But she was also flexible enough to do things Wrong actually / be doomed lol #which we Knew b/c of the relationship that billions would only eventually crush as the Cost of xyz.... #rian's offbeatness mostly gone too; ''what am i gonna do next!'' Conveniently/contradictorily; going Bazinga; snark instead of aggression #general [just competent things] that'll last until ppl quit last minute; if they do. she started out secretly pretty inflexible already #& is really locked in by now; very similar to wendy who also never really considered ditching her life of ''i love to feel like i'm toying #w/ppl's lives & enabling some mf with more power'' & really isn't that different from prince; who tf else isn't also totally inflexible #team ben's endurance come from what insulation / teamwork they can find w/each other & just staying out of the way really #& also just the writing like ''of course they can & will stick around for years despite how they're treated. bit of Loser Feelings as #Lesser Feelings after all b/c haha i mean come on they may be nice but do they seem Epic to you?'' #which is just as true / even more so re: winston. until he; in another [the Actual winner's move]; finally leaves #and gets like the most bass boosted [WHAT A FUCKING LOSER] treatment on his way out b/c what else could or would anyone do #winston billions #anyways he & the Loser Nerds like him have so much more maturity & flexibility & allowed capacity for actual growth lol. cringe comp!! #and this may be at all on purpose Of Course. show's aware central ppl are peak shit & intractible. show also does think winston's a loser #&/or is certainly trying to have their cake and eat it too with him and like tuk as well & even to a degree w/e goes on w/spyros etc etc #and Illustrating a lot of the ''deserved'' aspect through static inflexible Assumed Universal Facts abt what seems wrong & unworthy #like fucking yourself literally! objectively Bad. having glasses. knowing the diff b/w a vagina & vulva. not being ''''attractive'''' #[jumpscare of Blaring Tangent dialogue abt that all overlaid on itself into 1 second of 9000 decibels] #taylor is also Flexible re: philip who is Flexible re: them in turn. definitely Something and Promising as has been established lol #visit taylip hq nothingunrealistic.tumblr.com for so much more. and this blog for [thinking abt winston] hq in turn. covering ground

[izzyspussy]

Hey. So. I just had a thought. Totally out of the blue. What about OFMD characters as Tarot cards, huh? Whadaya think? Totally unprompted thought.

Wow, what a strange and interesting thought to have without any kind of cue at all... 🤔

Okay disclaimer. This isn't going to have everyone or tbh even most of 'em, because this post is fully brought to you by how no character has more perfectly exemplified The Hermit to me before and not much else.

Stede + The Fool

I think Stede and Ed both fit this very well (among other characters). I had a plan a while back to draw a card where Stede was The Fool upright and Ed was The Fool Reversed except instead of The Fool and The Fool Reversed it was Fuck Around and Find Out, but then I couldn't find reference pics I liked and I actually can't draw. So. But anyway. I don't feel like I need to defend this pick? Stede is at the beginning of the journey of his life and he's got a youthful energy because of that, but he's ill prepared and needs guidance!

Ed + The Devil

Fave card alert. Ed has a pretty clear "dark side" that he believes he can keep separate from his "good side" - which of course is not possible, they coexist. This dark side consists of his temper, his traumatic past, his self loathing, etc, all things brought up in The Devil. He also tries to satisfy these darker things with instant gratification type shit - drugs, sex(? metaphorical? who can say what he's been doing to Izzy or not askfjsk, but at least it was literal with Jack anyway), physical destruction, sadism, etc. He also has himself convinced he has no control or choice over his actions, that he's just evil or whatever, which this card addresses. The Devil can also represent a powerful and passionate relationship - or a codependent one, like Ed and Izzy's. And of course he also does literally just call himself the Devil straight-up. Who am I to argue.

Zheng + The Empress

I mean she has an Empire, so. A bit on the nose, but you can't beat 1:1 accuracy lmao. She also has her balancing act between tenderness and authoritarianism. She's nurturing (so far, but considering her ship is called the Red Flag I doubt that's gonna last or will be proven disingenuous soon, but anyway...) but it can't be questioned that she is the Ruler of Rulers.

Oluwande + Strength

Patience! Gentleness not from the lack of violence but despite the abundance of it! Commitment! Steadfastness! Emotional endurance! Yeah!

Ben + The Hermit

My longest yeah boi ever. A man at a remote location in nature that may or may not materially exist, there to guide a lone, lost visitor to understanding of himself in absolute spiritual solitude. I mean, there have been purgatories just like this one in fiction before, but none of them quite struck The Hermit so hard on the nail for me as Ben did.

Izzy + The Hanged Man

*ominous - and disconcertingly horny - chanting* Whipping Boy! Whipping Boy! Whipping Boy! Not just that, though, of course. As a character Izzy also represents the need to put things on pause and think them the fuck through before you do some stupidass shit. He wanted a plan, and when he didn't get one he put a screeching fucking halt to god damn everything. And then he didn't fully think through his own actions either and got fucking murdered about it lol. He also, narratively, represents a differing perspective (at least in season one) from the accepted standard, that without considering - as many """fans""" have proven lmfao - you cannot fully understand the story. Izzy is also the number one guy who would need to take The Hanged Man's advice. Give up, bud!!! It's over!!! Stop torturing yourself!!! (Don't actually though, babygirl you look so good 🫦)

Black Pete + Knight of Cups

He's so romantic... *dreamy sigh* When he's at his best, he's compassionate, understanding, emotionally available and expressive, and has such an innocent natural charm. At his less best, he's constantly talking talk he actually can't or won't back up with action. "I'm a perfect shot," he says, and then balks at being asked to shoot something mere hours later. He has an idealized, unrealistic view of himself.

Jim + Page of Wands

Like The Fool, the Page of Wands is at the beginning of their journey, but they are still deliberating about where exactly it is they want to go. Jim in particular has two clear paths they can take in becoming the person they'll be. They can take the path of revenge and ruthlessness laid out for them by Nana and Blackbeard, or they can take the path of redemption and compassion they're being invited to by Oluwande and Stede. And the only way to figure out which way to go is to look internally and discover what they truly want, and choose the path that will give them that.

Frenchie + Page of Swords

Frenchie is full of ideas and enthusiasm! But he's also very adaptable, and though he's got that youthful energy he is not necessarily lacking in awareness or experience. He's a Jack of all trades like The Magician, but without the social separation or ambition. Reversed, Page of Swords can represent repression and lack of communication, which Frenchie "Invented Compartmentalization" is clearly familiar with. It can also be about promises you can't - or have no intention to - keep, like Frenchie's murderboat First Mate duties.

We don't really need to address how BlackBonnet are The Lovers, I think. And I've already seen more than one fanart of BlackHands as Three of Swords, so I'll just mark that correct shall I? ✔️ Keep 'em coming baby.

Thank you so much for indulging me, Andie!! IDK if you're even in this fandom at all or not alsfjks, but I hope you like these answers anyway.

#jack chats #jack facts #ofmd #stede bonnet #ed teach #izzy hands #jim jimenez #frenchie ofmd #black pete #hc #tarot

[fucktheark]

(some) creepypasta/marble hornets music hcs :)

these are mostly from my own playlist they aren't accurate at all this is just 4 funsies lololol

also i highly doubt anyone will even see this post but if u do drop a song rec plz im struggling finding new music </3

tim (specifically him cs masky is too busy going apeshit 4 music)

old man music but like cool old man music (this is just what my father listens to LOL)

thinks he's got peak taste and snickers at everybody else's song choices

breathe - pink floyd

pet sematary - ramones

the chain - fleetwood mac

aerials - soad

lover, you should've come over - jeff buckley

hoodie

i pulled this out of my ass tbh but imagine 80s fan brian

kinda likes lil peep but would never tell a soul cs he thinks he's too old for it

doesn't rly share his music with anyone bcs he's afraid they're not gonna clown him for it

she's in parties - bauhaus

the brightside - lil peep

the ghost in you - psychedelic furs

messages - a flock of seagulls

hotel california - the eagles (cz y not)

jane

i never rly obsessed over her so this is js based on the vibes i get from the art i've seen of her (so pretty bruh)

echolalia - faetooth

nine while nine - sisters of mercy

closet - fleshwater

engine no. 9 - deftones

frigid and spellbound - spectral wound

nina

no way totally unexpected music

i think eventually she grew out of screamo and scene but never rly let emo go entirely

acid - ghost town

get away with murder - jeffree star (yikes)

what you need - bmth

freaxx - brokencyde (she's been in love with this album since it came out)

vampires will never hurt you - mcr

jeff

i like think that after what he did to his family he just kinda checked out from earth and stopped keeping up with most pop culture, so he's still listening to the same music he did back then.

peak edgy middle schooler vibes

never tires of his playlist

every now and again he comes across something new and gets obsessed with it immediately and probably forever

yen - slipknot

makedamnsure - taking back sunday

don't go - bmth

tourniquet - marilyn manson

crewcabanger - chelsea grin

toby

I-C-P FOREVER WITH THE JUGGALOSSSSSS

still enjoys twiztid even after the beef but secretly because it makes him feel like a poser

also likes jeff buckley but feels kinda cringe for it

the stalker - icp

house of mirrors - icp

my 1st time - dark lotus

2nd hand smoke - twiztid

grace - jeff buckley

liu

same reasoning as jane i know like nothing about this dude and even less about sully so i'm not even gonna attempt .

i fw his vibe tho

eye - smashing pumpkins

the man who sold the world - nirvana

heaven - talking heads

the sickness - imminence (he's gotta be a lil emo come on)

siamese twins - the cure

eyeless jack

this one is kinda hard tbh but considering his hypersensitivity to sound, i feel like he wouldn't enjoy anything too noisy

likes songs with a lot of bass because he can feel the bass reverberating through his body when he wears headphones

soft/airy vocals!!!! he hates screaming

doesn't rly stick with a specific genre just whatever makes his ears tingle lol

a forest - the cure

dark stone - holy fawn

hide and seek #1 - plastic tree

the thing - pixies

collabo - june freedom

BEN

bitch spends so much time on the internet he discovers new music every day

listens to everything but tries to flex the really obscure shit he finds in the depths of youtube (he wants to be cool but it's kind of pathetic.)

his playlist is MASSIVE and a mess, he usually has to skip through half of it before finding something he actually likes

i don't know why but he'd be into haunted mound

plays the majora's mask soundtrack when he can't think of anything to listen to

husqrider - turnabout

fentanylism - opiated devilsperm

starting over - lsd and the search for god

gou zin zan goku - deviloof

ugliest - $uicideboy$

laughing jack

he's old af and probably doesn't get modern music tbh

classical music it is

and opera

i'm not gonna make a whole playlist but he really loves erlkönig because of the story lol

#creepypasta #marble hornets #creepypasta headcanons #marble hornets headcanons #tim wright headcanons #eyeless jack headcanons #ticci toby headcanons #jeff the killer headcanons #nina the killer headcanons #jane the killer headcanons #ben drowned headcanons #laughing jack headcanons #hoodie headcanons #homicidal liu headcanons #i've fallen back into fandom activities oh no

[leporellian]

thoughts on broadway and/or the tonys and/or musical theater in general

fuck i never did get around to this LOL here we go

broadway... compels me in some weird way. like for every single complaint musical theatre fans lob at opera- 'it's too much about spectacle!' 'it's too elitist!' 'it's funded by rich people!' (which that last point in and of itself is. Have you ever been to europe. but the way in which opera criticism is uniquely USAcentric is a convo for another time) are all... like... right there in musical theatre on broadway.

arguably those are even more of a problem over in musicals. musicals have Brand Identity. when you think of wicked, every wicked production is specifically built to look the same, with no real difference in direction or performance besides individual casting. (and also that infernal dragon, for some reason, that they never even really actually use except for like one moment where it wiggles around a bit. a lot of my memory of seeing wicked in 9th grade is just remembering how absolutely disappointed i was that they had a big dragon animatronic and they never used it in a satisfying way! like, what the fuck! anyway, again, tangent.) even if there isn't a cohesive brand there's the matter of rights settlements, and certain creative restrictions, and on top of that there's the fact that it is incredibly hard to go watch broadway musicals if you don't have transportation and monetary access to them. (and don't get me started on whatever the fuck "bootleg trading" is. like man they're even inventing capitalism in new places. hello.)

opera meanwhile is the wild fucking west. most of the standard rep works are in the public domain. there's only 1 standard rep opera i can think of off the top of my head that has any creative restrictions in the performance license contract, and given the one creative restriction with that one is "please have black people play the black characters and don't do blackface you freaks jesus christ" i'm totally down w/ it. if you want to go watch opera, there's thousands of recordings on youtube and on specialty sites like operaonvideo.com that just act as a huge performance archive. opera is genuinely one of the most accessible art forms there is with the advent of the internet.

(man remember when hamilton had basically a free raffle for 10 dollar tickets every week or whatever that was? meanwhile the opera company in my college city literally just sells 11 dollar tickets to students and every time you buy one from them it acts like it now has a blood debt to you. crazy.)

broadway is like genuinely so capitalistic it baffles me, godbless. and i do WANT to understand musical theatre better but a lot of the time it just sort of whizzes past my head and i have no idea what to make of it. (that, and theatre kids are.... Well. Yeah)

THE TONYS are equally baffling, but instead of broadway which feels like some strange dystopian world, the tonys have a distinctly alice in fuckin wonderland shit to me. there are opera award shows but none of them are nearly on the same level as the tonys. it's cool that the trophy spins around i think. i think its very obvious the tonys largely exist as a further marketing mechanic and not as like... actual awards, but to be fair thats the point of all awards shows at this point anyway. (well, that and making a lot of people very angry.)

looking at this year's nominations for example. here are some of my thoughts: i forgot about the some like it hot musical, i genuinely have no idea who the audience of that is meant to be. CORN MUSICAL??? who the fuck made a CORN MUSICAL and WHY? &juliet terrifies me with its existence. the plays should unionize together. i dont know why i was surprised ben platt is there i thought he just kind of faded into the walls after the dear even hansen movie or something. isnt new york new york a frank sinatra song. oh shit the sweeney todd revival already premiered? (i dont keep up with broadway news) why is there a corn musical. also when i looked up the tony awards i accidentally typed in 'the toby awards' which is apparently an award show for building design. Anyway thats my analysis as someone who is genuinely so clueless about current broadway news

[spymaster-and-socialite]

What about andre draws you to him/why do you like to write him?

(i tend to really latch onto characters who i strongly relate to in some way, and andre is no exception. i enjoy writing him so much because it's easy for me to get into his head... maybe my interpretation of him is total BS and i'm just hardcore projecting, you tell me LOL. but anyway.

the key thing about andre (imo anyways) is that he is an expert reader of people/social situations - this is what makes him a good head of intelligence, but it also causes him to put up like 50 different fronts at all times in order to 'play the system' that he's so hyper-aware of. everyone likes andre because he knows how to MAKE everyone like him. he is extremely skilled at catering to other people's tastes to be as well-liked as possible and enjoy the benefits of that - and in a spy context, at reading other people in order to manipulate them, lol. andre has cultivated this image of himself as this super cool guy who has all his shit together at work but who also throws fun parties, who's smart and charming and Hot and can do art and play every instrument blah blah... and this is great and all, but a) it's not entirely accurate lol, we know he's kind of a hot mess in both his job and his personal life; and b) if you're always putting on whatever personality you think will most please those around you, then who are YOU really? what does it say about andre that he needs to be (and later on, pretend to be) this perfect person?

not to get all personal, but i relate a lot to this whole vibe of needing to project a 'perfect' self-image to feel in control of others' perceptions of you because you over-rely on others' perceptions of you to define yourself LMFAO. i think andre is genuinely trying his best to do what he thinks is right, but he fucks up - often - because he confuses facades with reality. now, i love to hate on andre for being a hoe and a dumbass who caused his own downfall LOL, but i can't seriously dislike him for his mistakes. while many of his choices/tactics are questionable, by the end, andre literally just wants the war to be over so he can be with peggy, which - despite being a selfish motive that contrasts sharply with the broader visions of liberty that characters like ben have - is more understandable on a personal level. as andre's whole facade crumbles and he starts actually failing at shit, the war stops seeming to him like one long dance or game where his only goal is to perform and 'win.' he's actually starting to understand himself on his own terms and figure out what he actually wants!... but it's too late.

in the turn universe as well as historically, andre is remembered in a flattering light - suggesting that he may actually have achieved the control over his image that he desired at the start. but the 'real him' (the andre who did everything because he was in love, not for the king) is forgotten almost immediately. he didn't plan to become this almost-martyr figure - but he was trying to succeed at an impossible task, and in the struggle between finding and losing himself in it, he pushed too hard.

tl;dr: i promise i DON'T relate to andre because i think i'm super hot and smart and can play an epic tune on the flute lmfao, i relate to him because he's not a perfect person and i just think that's neat lol.)

#(ooc) #(AN ESSAY WAS WRITTEN SORRY ABOUT THIS LMAO) #(dare i tag this as) #turn amc #turn washington's spies #meta #john andre

[blacktinnedpeaches]

having a bad one tonight lol :V I'm so stressed and worried about ben's sleep/mood/etc (at least he's got nytol back and is sleeping better again which obviously will have a knock-on mood effect) and then feeling like a shit partner bc of finding it so stressful when he's been basically dealing with me being totally nuts for 10y with barely any complaint. i guess we're just built different (i am built worse & meaner lol)

earlier tonight he asked for some comfort + i had kind of reached my limit for the 24h cycle in terms of comforting while also feeling bad so i was like can i not actually right now :| i actually just dont want to comfort tonight :| (last night was bad, he got super upset over something i said that he misread, see yesterday's post) + i did a lot of comforting and i feel v drained today still about the whole fiasco) but then THAT ended up in him panicking slightly about losing me (obviously im not going anywhere i just want to like not be the comforter for a few hrs) and i had to comfort anyway about that lmfao :') so then had a big cry in my room feeling so tired and overwhelmed and now im just going to wait until tesco comes / put that away / go to bed i think... not in the mood for anything really im just tired and burnt out and fed up today

obviously none of this is his fault at all lol & i love him so much & im literally not going anywhere lol its just like. shitty! he's getting better over time but my goddddd like its taking its time, its been nearly 3 months since the wedding + ever since then he's been so up and down + it's just been 3 months of like emotional whiplash, altho that is putting it too strongly i think bc still most of the time is fine lol it's just that when it kicks off im just like thrown into worry and misery again and its just very see-saw

also wig work is really boring... ch/ess job is insane... no idea how they got anything done at all with the inbox situation as bad as it is... cant find the perfect skirt... im sure that if i found the perfect skirt everything would be ok

[thelittlestspider]

random headcanons for peter, ash, wade, and other characters. (some sfw, some nsfw, so just keep that in mind. most of them are for this fic specifically, but some are more general? idk. some were inspired by other people.)

- peter and felicia's eyes glow in the dark.

- felicia has silver tipped fangs.

- after peter got bit by the spider, his regular teeth fell out, and stronger teeth grew in, along with fangs where his canines would be. the fangs produce a numbing venom that, if injected with enough, could paralyze and/or cause someone's body to shut down and kill them.

he also has spinnerets, but the only time he really uses them is when he's like nesting or courting lol.

- in total peter has been divorced 4 times: 2 with mj, 1 with felicia, and 1 with bobbi.

- peter can talk to spiders, and felicia can talk to cats. i'm sorry, i just think it would be funny.

- the way mj/felicia ended up together is peter/mj/felicia were hooking up during both marriages, and during peter and mj's second divorce, mj and felicia realized they were in love with each other and got engaged lol. peter was petty about it.

mj and felicia gossip about peter behind his back, and try to set him up with people. peter hates it lol.

- mj and felicia bought each other engagement rings and came up with their own separate proposals.

- people recognize peter from the parker industries era and give him shit about being poor.

- clint is still salty about peter marrying bobbi lol.

- the way i imagine peter and bobbi got married was they got black out wasted in vegas, woke up married, and were too lazy to divorce right away. they were too busy hooking up and traveling.

- peter's hooked up with most of his friends (mj, harry, felicia, matt, wade, johnny, clint, natalia, bobbi, luke and jessica). so at the beginning of the story, he feels like he's alienated half his friends, but in reality, peter isolated himself. he's an unreliable narrator!

- peter had some kind of falling out with matt while they were hooking up between divorces. he tries to make amends with matt before matt moves to california with kirsten, but matt forgets to call him lol. later matt comes back to visit and they actually talk to each other.

- ben and kaine are nosy brothers who like to know peter's business at all times lol.

- one of the things that attracted wade to peter is the way peter can eat insane amounts of food.

wade: it's like watching a snake unhinge its jaw. beautiful and disgusting at the same time.

- wade throws a divorce party for him and peter after shiklah and mj divorce them.

- my favorite ash headcanon of all time is that his mom was an addams, and that's why he's so tough/durable compared to regular people. but his mom was estranged from the family, so he has no idea why he's different.

- during like a year or so after the cabin, ash sells his story to be made into a documentary, and later, it gets made into the ev*l dead films. (this also happens in soul alone as well)

i just think it's interesting from, i guess, a meta standpoint for a character to deal with the public mythologizing/sensationalizing/consuming their story for entertainment (ex: the stab movies in scream).

- this headcanon is kind of dumb, but i'm gonna put it here anyway. the headcanon is that evil ash is the one that wrote the necronomicon, and he wants ash to rule by his side when he takes over the world. but the book, having known about ash since its creation, has grown attached to ash over time, and doesn't want evil ash to corrupt ash.

- both ash and scotty are originally from new york. (in this fic, ash moves to michigan when he's a kid. scotty never moves to michigan.)

- ash was a cheerleader in high school. (in the greater multiverse, most of the ashes were in band).

- clint and natalia were thieves before being arrested and drafted into shield's suicide squad. the only reason they got free was because of the avengers.

- after clint and natalia flipped shield the bird, natalia started doing mercenary work, and kept running into wade. the two had met before because of weapon x and shield, but they didn't really become friends until natalia semi-retired. sometimes wade hooks up with clint and natalia.

- logan, bucky, natalia, and wade have all met in passing because of weapon x.

- peter and natalia had a weird rivalry where she would just randomly challenge peter to fights, and peter would show up to stop her thefts.

clint: do you have a crush on spiderman?

natalia: i don't want to crush him, i just want him to know how strong and cool i am.

clint:...

natalia: and maybe kiss him too. i can do both.

- the iconic black widow look was created by natalia after she heard about spiderman. she designed her weapons, suit, and everything. (in natasha's original appearance, there wasn't a black widow look. like the other black widows did not dress like this lol. i like to think the red room saw natasha doing her thing and were like "oh damn..." and just tried to copy off her. then later that's how we got yelena.)

- natalia's version of the serum isn't as strong as bucky and steve's, but she does have enhanced speed, strength, stamina, and slow aging. in this verse she and bucky were both cryogenically frozen when they weren't on missions after they tried to run away together. so later when they send natalia after tony, she's 20 (peter and clint are like 18 and 19. bucky's like 20 something).

- peter and natalia do yoga together whenever they have a day off.

- peter kind of wants natalia to give him the strap, but he has things he needs to work out first.

- peter has a thing for wade being bigger than him. he likes that wade's big enough to envelope him. and his muscles.

- peter kept biting ash and numbing him. ash got so fed up that he put his metal fingers in his mouth like, "chew on this." 😠 and peter found a new kink he didn't know he had.

- peter has issues with people buying him things. this is a huge point of contention between him and wade, because wade loves buying stuff for his partners. ash isn't as strict about it as peter because he knows wade's doing it out of love (ash was a sugar baby at one point. he lets wade get him stuff, but he has rules for how much wade can spend and how many presents he can get him per month. and wade has to let him buy him things too).

so if peter won't let wade buy him something he wants because of pride, ash has wade slip him the money when peter's not looking, and he runs to go buy it. sometimes peter catches him, and ash runs through the store cackling because peter can't stop him without using his abilities.

peter: *stomping angrily through the mall* i hate you both.

ash: aw baby. it's not a crime for us to buy you something for your birthday!

wade: partners in gift crimes. *he high fives ash* this is gonna be the best super soft birthday ever!

ash: better than your divorce party?

wade: of course, sweetness. you won't be working this time. hopefully, peter won't be throwing up. though i can't promise no one will be throwing up because i plan to have copious amounts of alcohol. do you think we can smuggle a horse into our house?

ash: we can rent one for the back yard, but it's not allowed in the house.

wade: deal.

#these hungry streets tag

[insert-inconspicuous-name-here]

Before I start my first re-watch of TUA 3 I want to organize myself: [spoilers]

Starting from what I recall my first feelings were: loved the fighting scene with the Sparrows. While watching it I kept remembering how a lot of people, me included, thought it was funny how the Brellies were kicking ass at the trailer while the Sparrows were being bullies on Twitter. LOL. Well, one of the funniest sentences was "they must be exhausted after kicking our asses" or something like that, i haven't memorized it yet. Beautiful.

Luther fell at first sight, and so did Sloane and I loved the Stockholm thing (not the actual Stockholm thing obv). Viktor threatening Marcus got me all hot and bothered. Fei had eyes everywhere, which is such a badass move to go with her entire wardrobe. Jayme is a snake and I fucking love snakes. Alphonso was such a hoot, "punch me in the face" - hilarious.

Then we entered the second episode and there's where things started to get a little darker. Majorly because of Allison. Trauma, PTSD, panic attacks? We're going deeper into the darkness here and I getting worried for my girl. Viktor coming out had me in tears. Five thinking he could finally relax and retire? Yeah, no. I feel so bad for him. Klaus figuring out his momma died. Five singing along the radio and having to stop because the cows turned to dust, godammit.

I wanna talk about Ben. "Why do they keep looking at me like that?" Like what, sweetie? Like they love you? Yeah. I'm looking at you like that too. It was like he kept getting pissed about their attitude because they just showed love for him, but it wasn't even for him "him", it was the other Ben, but they could totally still learn how to love this Ben too. Klaus was working himself up to it, and we see that from Ben's expression when Reggie says Klaus "didn't make it". This Ben was a major asshole, but when they didn't invite him to the bachelor party? I felt that. And personally, i didn't think he was that unlikable to be excluded from the party. Oh, and i totally taught he was going to die on the last episode.

Reginald fucking Hargreeves. This (bad connotation) snake. I didn't believe the "pilled" Daddy until Pogo showed up. That's also when I confirmed my paradoxal concerns, that Klaus fucked up big time teaching him how to cheat on his meds and trusting this "nice old innocent shit face" facade. It was obvious he was playing each and every one of them by emotion with deep manipulation and acting. He went very far for this and I'm not even sure what it is. But I wavered at the wedding, when he was all alone and shit. But then Five saw him making a deal and I came back from that emotional place.

I've spent too long on this (I had to stop and come back a few times). Completely lost my points. I need a complete solo post for Allison.

#the umbrella academy #the umbrella academy spoilers #tua s3 #tua s3 spoilers

[rickie-the-storyteller]

Steph's Crew - Part 8: Ben's Leaving Party

(cw - strong language)

Intro:

Ben has decided to leave! He and Stephanie talk about it in this part, and the others plan a special goodbye party for him.

The party is honestly one of my favourite parts of this whole thing, lol. So much happens… lots of fun and lots of drama. The farewell party quickly devolves into a bit of a fight between the group, leading to the party ending early.

Also, we get a bit of Stephanie's backstory in this one. The last scene is a flashback to Stephanie interacting (arguing, more like) with her foster sister Melanie before she runs away from that family.

(Party at El’s place)

Ben's leaving tomorrow

Stephanie: (sighs, wraps her arms around Ben) Man… I can't believe you're actually leaving tomorrow. I'm going to miss you so much.

Ben: (returns the hug, kisses her forehead) I'm going to miss you too, babe. But don't worry… it's just a year, and then I'll be right back. And we'll have all this money saved up! We'll finally be able to afford a really nice place.

Stephanie: I know. And that's so great! Honestly. It's just…I don't know how I'm going to survive a whole year without you. Who am I going to cuddle with at night?

Ben: I mean, you can always cuddle with a pillow, or get a stuffed animal or something. Hey, I hear teddy bears are great cuddlers.

Stephanie: (rolls eyes affectionately) Oh, shut up. You're not funny.

Ben: I'm not trying to be funny, Steph. I'm trying to make you feel better. But, if you insist, I can always send you a picture of my face, just to keep you company. You can even stick it on your teddy bear's face and pretend you're cuddling with me!

Stephanie: (giggles, shaking her head) You're ridiculous, Ben. I love you, but you're so fucking ridiculous…

Ben: (pretends to be offended) HEY! (laughs, then kisses her) I love you too. And I promise, I'll make it worth your while. I'll call you every single day, and we'll talk about all the boring stuff that happens at work. It'll be like I never left.

Stephanie: I guess that's better than nothing. (sighs) But I'm going to miss seeing your face.

Ben: I get that. But that's what FaceTime is for. We'll make it work. We always do, you know that.

Stephanie: Yeah, we do. I'm just going to miss hugging you. And kissing you. And holding your hand. And your cute butt.

Ben: Ok. (laughs) Now look who is being ridiculous…

Stephanie: Still you. (laughs) Now, come here and give me a hug before you leave me forever.

Ben: Oh my God, Steph. (hugs) It's not going to be forever!

(the two kiss again)

Stephanie: It's going to be weird… you not being here for me.

Ben: I'll always be here for you, no matter the distance.

Stephanie: I know, baby. I know…

The Party! (that evening, at Elise's house)

Stephanie: Alright guys, let's make this a night to remember before my man leaves me for a whole year!

Ben: (laughs, putting an arm around Steph) Yeah, let's go out with a bang!

Bret: I brought the beer, let's get this party started!

Dylan: YEAH! Let's!

Elise: (notices that Bret is smoking) Wait, wait, hold on. Bret, put that out right now before you burn the house down.

Bret: Relax El, it's just one little joint. Lighten up, will ya?

Elise: No, Bret. I will not lighten up. This is my house! And in my house, we have certain rules about smoking. I should know, I grew up here.

Bret: Ughhhh… quit being boring, El.

Elise: I'm being serious, Bret! Just because my parents aren't around, doesn't mean that those rules have changed. Plus, you promised me you were going to be more responsible!

Bret: Yeah, well I lied. (takes a hit) This shit is the best.

Stephanie: Come on guys, let's not fight. This is supposed to be a party, let's try and have some fun.

(Everyone starts drinking and partying, and the mood is lively)

Alice: (suddenly enters the room) What the fuck, you guys didn't invite me to the party?

Dylan: Oh my God, Ally… (looks guilty)

Stephanie: Oh, shit. I'm so sorry Alice. We totally forgot to invite you.

Alice: (sighs, welling up with tears) Whatever, it's not like I would have had fun anyways. (she sits on the couch and sulks)

Ben: (trying to lighten up the mood) Hey, come on guys. Let's all make a toast to the good times we've had. Yeah?

(Everyone raises their glasses and cheers. The party continues to run relatively smoothly until a sudden disruption)

Elise: WAIT! Wait, where's my vase?

Stephanie: What vase, El?

Elise: The red one, remember? It was a gift from my grandparents… It's special, it's one of the last things we have left of them! And it's missing - I can't find it anywhere! (she notices it's broken and gasps) OH MY GOD!!!

Ben: Oh, no…

(Elise starts to cry)

Stephanie: Oh crap. I'm so sorry, El, this wasn't meant to happen. (hugs Elise and tries to calm her down)

Dylan: (notices Bret looking guilty) Bret, did you break the vase?

(Bret laughs sheepishly. Dylan shakes his head)

Bret: He-he. My bad. Whoopsie.

Elise: (angrily) What the hell, Bret…

Bret: (starts laughing) It's just a vase, El. Chill the fuck out.

Elise: That vase was special to me, Bret! It's so important, I wasn't even allowed to touch it growing up! My parents are going to kill me once they find out it got broken on my watch!

Stephanie: Okay, okay, okay. Let's all just calm down. I know we're all a little drunk right now and things are getting out of hand, but let's all calm down and try to settle this properly.

Ben: Yeah, I don't want my farewell party to end like this. I would much rather leave things on a positive note.

Dylan: Yeah… Why the fuck did we invite Bret anyways? He's just going to ruin everything like he always does… hell, he already has.

Alice: (mutters to herself) You invite him and you can’t even bother remembering to invite me…

Bret: Hey, I'm trying to change, okay? You guys know that I've been trying. But you all just keep pushing me back.

Elise: I can't believe you broke my vase, Bret.

Bret: Look, I'm sorry, alright? I'll buy you a new one.

Elise: It was one of a kind!

Alice: Ok, literally what the fuck is going on here? Why are we all so concerned about a goddamn vase instead of the fact that y’all straight up forgot to invite me to this party?!

Stephanie: Look, Ally, we've already said we're sorry. Let's just deal with one thing at a time.

Alice: Sure… damn it, by the time you've dealt with this vase issue, you guys will have forgotten I even came here!

Dylan: Look, Alice, you really shouldn't be upset with Steph here. I was planning on inviting you to the party myself, as my plus one, but I decided not to at the last minute. If you're going to be mad at someone, then be mad at me.

Alice: WHAT?! Why?

Dylan: Because I didn't want you to feel left out.

Bret: Yeah. I told him you probably wouldn't like it.

Alice: You did?! Why?!

Stephanie: Damn it, Bret!

Bret: What? I mean, it is a commonly known fact that Alice ain't much of a ‘party’ person anymore.

Alice: Since when?!

Bret: I don't know… I mean you don't come out to party with us anymore… even boring old Ellie over here hangs out with us every once in a while. You've completely stopped.

Alice: Because I'm busy, Bret! I mean, between school, my job, babysitting my cousins and my weekly dance classes, I've got a lot on my plate. Plus, I can't have a repeat of my last mock exams, I actually want to pass my classes.

Dylan: (sighs) I'm so sorry, Alice. I really didn't want to hurt you.

Bret: We just thought it would run smoother if everyone present was actually having a good time, you know?

Dylan: (glares at Bret in response to his comment) And it’s really not that big of a deal - just a small gathering. It's just meant to be a nice surprise for Ben on his last night here.

Alice: Well, it's not a nice surprise. It's just freakin’ rude. I’m supposed to be a part of this group too, you know. I’m supposed to be friends with y’all. And I've known Ben for a lot longer than most of you have. Including Steph, his fricking girlfriend. I deserve a place at his leaving party too!

Stephanie: Alright, Alice. Settle down. Let's turn off the music for a second and talk about this properly-

Elise: (interrupts, voice breaking) I can't, Steph. I'm sorry, but I'm done. I can't deal with this anymore! (runs off)

Stephanie: Wait, but where are you going El? El?

Bret: Oh, God. (follows after her) Elise, wait. Come back! Let me make this right.

Elise: (stops at the door) You can't make this right, Bret. You never can. (opens the door and leaves the house)

Ben: (whispers to Stephanie) …Isn't this her house, though? Why is she leaving her own house?

Stephanie: I… Okay, so this party is officially over.

Bret: Elise! ELISE! (runs out after her, calling her to come back)

Stephanie: How about we all just go home and try to sleep it off?

Ben: Yeah, good idea, babe. I'll call an Uber for you guys.

Dylan: I can't believe that this is how the night ended…

Alice: And I can't believe I even came!

Bret: (comes back, tears in his eyes) I lost her.

(long awkward silence)

Bret: I really fucked up this time, didn't I?

Ben and Stephanie reflect

Ben: (getting ready to go to bed) Well that could have gone better…

Stephanie: (sits on the bed) That farewell party was a nightmare!

Ben: It wasn't that bad, hun.

Stephanie: Yes, it was! The whole thing was a disaster. I don't even have words to describe how terrible it was!

Ben: Babe, it's alright. I appreciate the thought behind it. And I'm just glad I got to see all of them one last time, and we all spent time together before I go. I'm so grateful, honestly.

Stephanie: (sighs) That wasn't how I wanted it to go. I'm sorry, Ben. Really.

Ben: Don't be. I loved it. (kisses her)

Stephanie: (frowns) Hey, do you remember what the date is today?

Ben: (puts his arm around her) April 23rd. Why?

Stephanie: Nothing. I just remembered something. (sighs) Today would have been Mel's 21st birthday. I’ve just realised.

Ben: Mel?

Stephanie: Melanie. My foster sister? I've told you about her before. She died last year.

Ben: Oh. Wow. I'm so sorry, Steph…

Stephanie: Yeah. It sucks. I can't believe Mel is gone. I miss her so much. Our last conversation was a real shit show.

Ben: How come? What happened?

Stephanie: We were always at each other's throats, you know? I was so jealous of her and her perfect life. I always found a way to bring her down with every little thing she did. I don't know whether it was me trying to even out the playing field or what, but… yeah. It was really bad.

Ben: That's rough, Steph. But you two were sisters, you know? You had each other's backs.

Stephanie: Yeah, no. Me and Mel were never like that, Ben. I was always such a bitch to her. I wish I could take it all back.

Ben: We all have regrets, babe. But the important thing is that you loved each other.

Stephanie: I know. I just wish I could tell her that one more time. Let her know that I did appreciate her. I'll never get the chance to tell her again.

Ben: I'm sure she knew, Steph.

Stephanie: Yeah, I hope she did. (pauses) I love you, Ben.

Ben: I love you too, babe. (kisses her again) Let's not waste any more time with regrets. Let's make the most of the time we have together. (he switches off the light, and the two of them get into their bed)

Stephanie: Good idea. Hey, how long until you have to leave for the airport?

Ben: I aim to be out of the house at five tomorrow morning. So about seven hours?

Stephanie: (smiles) Great. That's more than enough time. (pulls him in for another kiss)

Melanie and Stephanie (dream/flashback)

Melanie: Hey Steph!

Stephanie: Hi.

Melanie: So how was your day at school?

Stephanie: Fine.

Melanie: Oh, my gosh. I had the best time today. I need to tell you all about it.

Stephanie: Please don't.

Melanie: (awkwardly laughs) Ok… what's your problem, then?

Stephanie: Problem? I'm the one with the problem here? Really, Mel?

Melanie: …What's going on? I'm confused.

Stephanie: You had one job!

Melanie: (grimaces) Oh my God. Here we go…

Stephanie: I asked you to book the tickets as soon as possible for my half term trip with Ellie. I needed you to arrange this one thing for me, and you couldn't do it.

Melanie: Steph, I'm sorry. Believe me, I am! I don't know how many more times I need to say it for you to believe it, but-

Stephanie: (interrupts) Now she's found someone else to go with! My best friend is officially doing the trip without me! And it's all your fault. God, Mel, you're so annoying. Can't you just do one thing right for once?

Melanie: What the hell, Steph? You're always so critical of me, it's like you enjoy seeing me fail. I promise you, I didn't mean to screw you over.

Stephanie: Well, excuse me for wanting you to be better.

Melanie: Alright, but-

Stephanie: (interrupts) I mean, you're always screwing people over, what's so hard about being responsible every once in a while?

Melanie: (groans in annoyance) You know what? Fuck you. I'm sick of your bullshit. I'm out of here.

Stephanie: Good riddance. At least maybe now I can finally have some peace during my time off.

Melanie: You know, you're nowhere near as perfect as you believe you are, Steph. You're just a cruel, heartless, bitter, jealous bitch.

Stephanie: Whatever, Mel. You're just a screw-up. You'll never amount to anything in life. You're nothing.

Melanie: I hope you're happy, Steph. You finally got what you wanted. I'm out. (leaves the room)

Stephanie: Goodbye, Mel. Don't let the door hit you on the way out of here!

(Stephanie then wakes up, and remembers that Melanie died not too long after they had this conversation in real life)

That's it for today. I'm so glad I finally posted the party scene! It took me the longest to write…

This one is rather long… I've noticed that the longer this has been going, the longer the posts tend to be.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this part. Things are already starting to shift in the story. Bret is trying to change, but old habits die hard lol. Elise has been really sweet and patient with him up to this point, but he has officially crossed a line with her.

And we finally get a bit of insight into what Stephanie's life was like in her old foster home! How do you guys feel about Melanie, btw? Not sure how I feel about her myself, tbh. She's like, really important, but also not really seen/explored much. Kind of meant to be a metaphor for Steph's personal struggles and guilt.

Who do you think was in the wrong in that argument at the end? I'm curious to hear your thoughts about it.

Next time, we're going to get a bit more of Dylan! It's about time we got some more development with him.

#rickie-the-storyteller #rickie writes #steph's crew #writerblr #original content #original story #original work #original characters #stephanie smith and her friends #Stephanie #Ben #Bret #Dylan #Elise #Alice #story planning #dialogue planning #dialogue practice #trauma #family trauma #foster family #grief #death #sibling rivalry #toxicity #long distance relationship #bittersweet #farewell party #responsibility #teenagers

[moonchildridden]

5 things you want to do but never got a chance to do so. Love you 😘🫰

You really got me here, holy shit 😂😅. I was here thinking about what the hell would I want to do but never got a chance and my brain got a 404 error. But after thinking a bit, I think I found, at least, 5 things:

1. Sing in front of a good number of people: the first and last time I did that was in a school event when I was in 7th grade, but it was for a very small number of people and 99% of those people were people I knew. What I would like to do is sing for strangers, a good number of strangers, and get an honest opinion about my singing. A bar would be a good start, at least for me.

2. Travel: I may have fears of heights and be traumatized by the Final Destination franchise to the point of imagining the most absurd accidents involving me and any mean of transportation, but there are a few places I would like to go and visit before I died. Like the Big Ben in England, Siam Square in Thailand, Tokyo Tower in Japan and Han River in South Korea. It doesn't mean to be all of those places but if I could go to one of them, I would be really happy.

3. Publish an original story: my journey as a writer started almost 12 years ago and before I ventured myself in the realm of fanfiction, I wrote a fair share of OG stories, as a way of seeing if I really liked writing or was just curious to see how it was. I almost had a chance to publish the first story I wrote but that never went forward (thank God, the story was trash and totally plagiarized from another story I've read. I started my career by plagiarizing another author. I'm a failure in society lol), and I've resorted myself in writing and posting in online platforms. However, those stories I wrote (except the first one) I have plans to rewrite them and, if I have the chance, publish them.

4. Adopt a pet: I love animals and, because of that, I always wanted to have a pet but my mom was allergic to animal fur and I don't have my own house or a stable source of income to actually take care of a pet. But if I could have the chance to have one, I would adopt a cat, they are my favorite animal; however, I could be convinced to adopt a dog also.

5. Have a plantation of sunflowers: I know this may sound weird but sunflowers are my favorite flowers and I would really love to be surrounded by them in a daily basis, because they make me happy and happiness is one thing that I really need but don't quite have.

I love how you put "love you" at the end of the ask and made me work my brain out trying to find an answer 😂. Love you too ❤️

Ask me 5 anything

#moonchildridden answer #m: ask #top 5

[in-tua-deep]

Hey. I’m not feeling the best right now. Can w I get some Ben and Five headcannons?

oh no !! I hope you feel better soon :(

Five and Ben were pretty close when they were younger which means that Five knows that Ben was a little shit

He might have the likes of Diego and Luther fooled but Five absolutely knows. He knows how much Ben could actually shit talk. He knows that Ben was not an innocent

Whenever Five irritated Ben too much, Ben would frame him for something. Sometimes this would manifest in an academy wide prank war which would inevitably end up in punishments from Reginald that everyone would blame Five for. Five. And no one would would ever believe him that sweet, quiet, wonderful Ben would start this sort of shit

Five fucking knows okay

However Ben was also like, the only intelligent conversation that Five ever actually had on the team so like, it’s not like he can just drop Ben (even though he knows what he did) because who else is he supposed to share looks with over Luther’s boneheaded plans with? Allison? As if Allison would ever admit Luther was being an absolute idiot

They had the silent understanding that Ben could be as much of a sarcastic shit as he wanted and in return Ben would let Five rant about temporal physics and complex mathematics and actually ask intelligent questions which occasionally led to breakthroughs

“It’s not my fault you can’t hide your own assholeness.” Ben informs Five with a straight face after Luther yelled at Five for three hours after Five rightfully informed their number one that it was actually Ben not Five who put dye on his toothbrush that turned his teeth green

Five mouths ‘I am going to destroy you’ to Ben across the breakfast table and Ben just serenely asks Klaus if he finished the math homework for their lessons today like Five doesn’t even exist

Five is twelve when he realizes that Ben is actually the devil

But actually he really admires it

Even if the way he realizes it is because Ben turns big eyes on Diego and says that Five was being mean to him, which almost gets Five a knife in the arm

(Five returns Ben’s stupid book of octopus facts, he didn’t even want the stupid thing he just stole it to get back at Ben for stealing his good umbrella jacket... yes he can tell shut the fuck up allison)

“I’m going to time travel.” “No you aren’t.” “You want to bet?” “Five. Five. We have been going over the equations for literal weeks. Did you even figure out the prime issue?” “Shut your mouth.” “Knew it.”

And Five does time travel and his second thought after “What the fuck” is “fucking Ben was right and can never know”

okay admittedly there’s a lot of apocalypse trauma and he finds the bodies of his siblings and then finds out that Ben died young and he’s just. there’s a lot going on okay

and then he travels back and ben is still dead and he’s kind of like... he can’t not save Ben but he’s got to make sure there’s a future or whatever to go to when he travels back in time and snags his brother up or whatever

except then Klaus summons Ben and well

“You asshole!” Five howls, pointing accusingly

Klaus is vindicated

“You can’t talk like that to Ben.” Diego says firmly, as though the time all of his knives were superglued to his harness wasn’t all Ben’s fault. As though that time wasn’t blamed on Five. 

“No, no, let him speak.” Klaus says, like a man who has been forced to be the only recipient of Ben’s sarcasm and sass for a great number of years.

Ben has been dead and invisible for a long time and no longer gives a single solitary fuck about what his family thinks of him tbh, and with Klaus clean(er) and a lowkey grudge against Luther (because come on Luther, Ben was rooting for you we were all rooting for you)

So Ben has no problem being like “YES. ‘TWAS I WHO GLUED LUTHER’S HAND TO HIS HAIR AND FRAMED DIEGO FOR TIPPING OVER OUR 8TH BIRTHDAY CAKE.”

“How did none of you ever notice that I ‘acted out’ whenever one of y’all ended up peer pressuring Ben into using his powers.” Five grits out, because his family is filled with fucking idiots.

“In fairness,” Ben says with his arms crossed and a frankly unimpressed look on his face, “I also did it whenever you were being especially asshole-ish. Which was with great frequency.”

“I’m going to murder you in your sleep.” Five hisses.

“Missed that opportunity by a large margin, baby bro.” 

and then Five screams with all his feral rage and tries to attack Ben because he isn’t often corporeal and he doesn’t want to miss the chance

Except Ben catches him in a hug and Five just freezes like a kitten who gets put in a cat harness for the first time and it’s great

“Oh my god I’m just now realizing why Ben and Five got along so well.”  - says every siblings with a braincell who has the sense to fear a Five and Ben team up

The first time that Five manages to frame Ben for something feels like fucking vindication

vindication, Ben

#ask me #ben is a little shit who became a larger shit #five was framed half his childhood and no one ever believed him #but also ben was the only intelligent conversation so... #ben talked a lot of shit as a child #in return for listening five demanded intelligent conversation #and to be fair five did pick on ben back #it's only he got in trouble for it #sometimes it was totally worth it though #he might have gotten extra training and dirty looks for a week and a bathroom in the house destroyed #but five personally thought it was justice and it was just a plastic spider anyway *jeeze* #five hollering: BEN IS A SHIT #diego: HOW DARE YOU BEN IS AN ABSOLUTE ANGEL #luther: he doesn't even do anything just reads #five: i'm going to go feRAL #ben: lol no i'm actually totally a shit #klaus: VINDI-FUCKING-CATION #klaus finally has someone to complain at about ben #five finally has someone who believes him #they both get drunk together over it while ben rolls his eyes in the background #sorry there are no real soft headcanons #only siblings being shits to each other #fivehargreeves05

[frumfrumfroo]

You know you fucked up as storytellers when The Mary Sue of all sites is saying Ben Solo shouldn’t have died

He just shouldn’t die, it’s so obvious, it’s so obvious. That character doesn’t die! Like, welcome to the cluebat everyone else, but you shouldn’t have needed to have the story broken and ruined to notice this!

#I know I know I'm on here again #the VD shit is making me INCANDESCENT with rage #but seriously seriously seriously THAT CHARACTER DOESN'T DIE #see now in hindsight how it's obvious? #remember when I said it would be? #I didn't want it to be LIKE THIS #but it remains true #suddenly the fanboys the critics the blue checkmarks the casuals can all see it #they're all 'oh actually I hated him all along but now that it's spelled out on screen I see how Ben is so precious and should live' #NO SHIT #everyone: 'oh he's soft and brave and selfless who could have expected' #ME I DID #it took this for you all to finally call him Ben oh my God #benafflecksmoking.gif #WHY CAN NO ONE READ '2+2=?' AND COME UP WITH '4' UNTIL SOMEONE IS LIKE 'lol 7' #READ A BOOK #okay okay I'm being calm I'm being charitable #everyone go read a book though I'm totally serious #anything but Harry Potter #actually I'll just go there- everyone read Crime and Punishment #everyone read Quo Vadis #redemption = death is for weak cowards #no one deserves to die #/NO ONE/ I SAID WHAT I SAID #trosspoilers

[alirhi]

10 Sebastian roles as boyfriends

Because... I'm bored and I feel like it. 😂 Probably some spoilers for, like... everything? So yeah... That.

Putting it under here for easy scrolling:

10: Chase Collins

Who doesn't love a goofball? In the first half of the movie, Chase is basically perfect. He's sweet, funny, not all caught up in his ego, and actually pays attention to what the girls around him are saying, not just to what he wants to hear. If not for the whole... it was all an act to get close to Caleb and try to steal his magic thing, Chase would actually be a damn good high school boyfriend. He's adorable and would be a fun date, but he's also only 18 so best not to start making long-term plans lol. Also, y'know... the whole psycho revenge/power grab thing.

9 Jack Benjamin

Y'all. Y'all. Words cannot describe how much I love Jack. Pretty sure I've made this clear. As a person/character in general, he's absolutely in my Top 3 - not just of Sebastian's characters, but any character ever. ❤ But as a boyfriend? Boy's got baggage. It's what makes me so protective of him, but seeing as how he's trapped in the closet thanks to his overbearing homophobic family and the insane expectations heaped on him, as the show left him, he can't handle an honest relationship. He's too easily influenced by all the wrong people, poor babe.

8 Chris (Destroyer)

On paper, undercover cop sounds cool and exciting, but even if you ignore the fact that he, y'know, dies... Chris got in too deep and kinda lost the mission, so to speak. Best case scenario, you're his sexy partner and in on it all with him and end up on the lam for the rest of your lives. Worst case, this man lies for a living, so can you even trust him? And... yeah. The whole dead thing. Chris is hot af but getting involved with him is a recipe for disaster.

7 Ben

Min and Hathor have mercy, I love Ben! He's smart, he's snarky, he's caring and loyal... he's an absolute disaster. He's another one who seems allergic to honesty, until his lying and avoiding nearly kill his girlfriend. Not exactly relationship goals lol. Everything before totally was, though! Ben's adorable, and I love how he stayed up all night to protect his girlfriend (from a ghost/demon thing... with a baseball bat. I said he was smart, not perfect, okay? XD points for effort lol)

6 Mickey Henry

I. LOVE. MICKEY. Oml I love Mickey. He's a spazz and - even more so than Ben - an absolute disaster of a human being, but I love him. Pros for dating Mickey Henry: he's fun, he's carefree, he'll cook for you even though he's kinda bad at it lol, he loves his son and wants to be a good dad, he wants his partner to be happy and to love life as much as he does. Cons, and the reason he's not higher on the list: He's a pushover; easily influenced by the toxic people in his life, and it gets him into a lot of trouble. Being easily influenced by toxic dumpster fire of a human being Chloe almost lost him the partial custody of his son that he barely even had. He's an absolute sweetheart, but he's a complete man-child, and dating him would often feel more like raising him.

5 Frank "Suffer Buddy"

Come on! You know he and Mickey had to be back-to-back - they're practically the same character! 😂 Frank is Mickey... slightly more grown up. He's still a disaster, but he's respectful of boundaries, he's caring, he's funny in a dry, witty way that I just adore, and hoo lordy that man is a giver! 🥴🥵 Honestly, if he didn't smoke and didn't ditch Daphne in the middle of a party hours away from everything familiar to her surrounded by strangers to go do drugs, I'd call Frank perfect. He listened, he respected her wishes, he tried to keep some distance between them when he found out she'd gone on a date with his best friend (it failed utterly and brought us to the "damn that man's good with his mouth" portion of the movie lmao but still)... I don't have a whole lot of experience with men who actually give a shit, okay? So Frank is like a goddamn unicorn to me lmao. But that drug thing... That keeps him at the bottom of the Top 5 for me. Sorry, bb

4 Bucky

I can already hear everyone on here raging at me for placing Bucky so low on this list, but hear me out: I love this man. I love all four iterations of this man. Flirty 40s Bucky was a doll (fun date, not commitment material). Post-POW camp 40s Bucky had a fire to him that set me on fire. The Winter Soldier can choke me any damn day. Unf. And TFATWS Bucky... Oh, lady above, 2023 Bucky is a gem! He's sweet, snarky, and broken. He feels utterly, wretchedly alone in the world, and everyone around him, including his only friend, is telling him to "man up" and "make amends" for shit that was never his fault to begin with, rather than helping him come to terms with all that he's suffered and all that he's survived. Bucky needs and deserves love. A relationship with him would be so solid, if he found the right person... But it would take a fuck ton of work. He needs someone strong, patient, and more stubborn than he is to prod him until he finds a better therapist and actually opens up, and to keep him on track because even good therapy comes with homework. He does have to "do the work," Sam was right about that much, but he was way off base with what that "work" is. Bucky needs help and understanding, and he would be an amazing boyfriend... if he found someone with the strength to help him weather his nightmares and flashbacks, and help pull him out of this PTSD pit he's been in since 1943.

3 Chris Beck

Big brains turn me on, okay? 😂This man is an astronaut and a surgeon! Yes, please! Come here, you sexy genius! He's smart, he's funny - pretty sure Sebastian is incapable of playing anyone who's not delightfully snarky lol. He's pragmatic when he needs to be but there's also nothing he wouldn't do or risk for the ones he loves. This man is husband material and I cannot be convinced otherwise! So why isn't he #1? Cuz of the whole... spending years in space, thing. Super cool job and I'd be his biggest fan on the ground, but god damn, I would miss him while he's away!

2 TJ Hammond

Look, I'm gender fluid and he's a little bit bi 😂😂😂 Let me have my fantasy, okay? TJ's definitely got a lot of shit to work through, but love brings out the best in him. Before that fucking closeted shitbag broke his heart and stomped on it for good measure, TJ was clean and sober for months, he was happy, he was playing piano again, he was pulling himself together. Not only would he be an amazing boyfriend, but his partner would get the extra joy of getting to watch their love and devotion to him be the thing that saves this beautiful man's life. It's not healthy overall to tie your self worth and will to live to a relationship, but if he found the right person who would be there for him through all of life's shit and stick it out, I think he'd be okay. Even after his lowest point and without the support of his family, TJ still had a dream and he still chased it. He's not just the sweetest person to ever grace our screens, but he's ambitious and business-savvy, too. Keep him off drugs and watch this man take over the world, I'm telling you!

So why is TJ only #2? Well, besides the fact that he's like 99% gay and I have no bits he'd be interested in lmao, there's also the fact that this guy owns my heart:

1 Will Franklyn

And not just because we get to see him wet and mostly naked lol. Will is fucking perfect. I would die for this man... because he's already shown that he would die for his love. He almost fucking did, and they weren't even together yet! He's smart and very aware, he's a writer so we'd get to bond/geek out over books together, he's not all full of himself (self-deprecating humor ftw!) and he's willing to help a total stranger despite actual mortal peril, just because it's the right thing to do. Fierce, intelligent, sassy, strong-willed, and a flawless moral compass? YESYESYESYESYES! Forget boyfriend - let me MARRY this man! 😍🥰

#sebastian stan #chase collins #the covenant #jack benjamin #kings 2009 #chris destroyer #ben the apparition #mickey henry #monday 2021 #monday movie #frank suffer buddy #endings beginnings #bucky barnes #sgt james buchanan barnes #the winter soldier #mcu #captain america #the first avenger #civil war #avengers #the falcon and the winter soldier #tfatws #tfatws critical #the martian #chris beck #tj hammond #political animals #will franklyn #labyrinth 2012 #i fucking love all of these men

[thenamesh]

OK. So apparently, there's a weird, real tame, sex scene on the beach w/ Ikaris and Sersi (I think, I could be wrong) and... Why? Did we ask for this?

If you ask me, I think this is just Marvel/Disney going "Oh, look at us! Having a sex scene is our movie! We're so edgy!"

...

Yeah, Marvel/Disney. Nobody gives a shit.

Like seriously, out of all the relationships you had in this movie, why them?

I can't help but feel as though that scene SHOULD HAVE went to Thena/Gilgamesh, they had TEN TIMES the chemistry for that. I feel that that specific scene would have made so much more sense and would have ACTUAL SUBSTANCE with those two in it, rather than with Ikaris and Sersi just for Marvel and Disney to brag about having a sex scene between two characters.

How do you feel about it, though? I'm curious to know.

First of all! Thank you for your ask! I believe this is the second official ask/answer for this blog! So excuse me if i’m TOTALLY EXCITED! <3 Keep in mind, I am TOTALLY BIASED! lol and I think EVERYTHING should have been given to Thena/Gilgamesh :P

Disclaimer, the following are just some of my thoughts and not meant to hurt anyone who is on the opposite side of the fence: My guess is that the sex scene was an attempt to make us, the viewer, feel for Ikaris and Sersi and to help enrich their narrative and to show their history.  However, I feel like it fell flat for me because I was just never into Ikaris and Sersi. 

Ikaris was giving off icky vibes for frame ONE so by the time he was in the sack with Sersi I was like NO THANK YOU SIR, lol. (The actor did a great job being creepy, it’s not easy to do and I think he was well cast)

For me, the sex scene would have had solid beautiful meaning if it were given to anyone other than Ikaris and Sersi. 

Should it have been given to Thenamesh? OBVIOUSLY lol But I would have happily settled for Druig and Makkari or Phastos and Ben. Thank you for your ask and I hope you have a fabulous day! I hope I answered your questions! Feel free to pop in and ask more any time you want!

#thenamesh #ask

[blacktinnedpeaches]

ugh this is so rough. Ben's ok, it's currently cold-type symptoms + me and ana are both testing negative still and I've booked us both an Airbnb for the few days after Ben gets back BC he's probably not gonna be COVID free in like the next 30h, that will only be like day 4. it's only a 10 minute walk from our house but I'm really worried about leaving tink alone with just Ben BC he'll just be sleeping and watching stuff and won't be giving her proper attention so I'm gonna nip home twice a day probably just to give her some love and I'll just have to triangulate this with Ben lol so we don't come into contact in the shared spaces! I'm eating ok BC he's not actually here, so like I'm consuming a decent amount but i keep getting like anxiety diarrhoea which when you already find it hard to eat in these circs is like just so unhelpful. so I've had to just eat really bland food with little nutritional value which is frustrating BC obviously it's important to be well nourished but I just get the shits lol! I know it's better to eat stuff like potato chips/cereal bars/whatever than nothing though so I guess it's alright

will test again tomorrow, if I can get to Friday without testing positive I'll feel as though I've probably got away with it

just feeling very worn out. I really miss the life we had before covid. to be honest I'd even take 2020 over what we have now BC at least then you weren't thought of as totally insane for not wanting to get it lmao

[juniaships]

for the fandom ask thingie, ben 10? or sonic! either one :0

The first character I first fell in love with: 10k he is HAWT

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: Kai Green mostly due to her potential and she's actually better compared to other characters *cough*blukic&driba*

The character everyone else loves that I don’t: Aggregor I'm sorry he gives off huge Aizen vibes and i don't like that. 🤷🏿

The character I love that everyone else hates: People hate Elena because of that awful episode but I like her sm in Alien Swarm. People also hate Mike Morningstar but he was a cool villain

The character I used to love but don’t any longer: I used to love Attea but overtime i realize she comes off as a Sue. I still like her.

The character I would totally smooch: Ben 10k ;_;

The character I’d want to be like: I wanna be like Professor Paradox just don't be giving a shit but STILL more likable and useful than Azmuth lol

The character I’d slap: Carl Nesmith. He wasn't in it to be a hero he was in it for money and attention and resorting to murdering innocents and manipulated a teen. Yet SOMEHOW gets a more dignified ending than Mike Morningstar.

A pairing that I love: BenJo actually KaiEster they had wonderful chemistry together and I'm sad they didn't pull a Velmarcie

A pairing that I despise: Bwen. Before Loudcest there was this piece of shit ship.

#ben 10 #gb asks