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#being super gatekeep-y
brittle-doughie · 1 year
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Face the Music! (B.A.D 4)
Requested by: @lil345 Insert bad guy vibes
“The name’s T.N.T! You’re looking at B.A.D 5’S main vocalist and explosive leader!”
“Call me HellHound, for I am the gatekeeper to HELL! I’m in charge of B.A.D 5’s choreography… that will change you FOREVER!”
“M-my name is ZZ Skull…! Make sure you pronounce the Z! I am the lead vocalist who fills the songs of B.A.D 5 with power!”
“Yaaay! Nice to meet you all! My name is MUSHY P.! My specialty is super fast rap! Hope you like our performance!”
Wizard was a little confused with their name of B.A.D 5…when there was only four of them onstage. So where was the last member-oh my god was you popping up from behind T.N.T a surprise to many. Gingerbrave and the others were completely flabbergasted at the sight of you being alongside the bad guys for this occasion! Strawberry was freaking out a little, did they corrupt you to the side of darkness?!
You gave your best devious laugh as you pulled out your instrument and played a quick tune!
You were Siren Serenade (or you can pick your own name :] ), the composer who makes sure the music is stuck within the heads of cookies until the end of their days. With the help of your fellow band mates, may the power of your music compel the audience!
The objective on the kingdom cookies were clear, save the BTS concert from getting thrashed and rescuing you from the grasp of darkness before it’s too late! Oh how you came to be in the band was told to them outright.
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Hearing about the BTS Cookies coming into the kingdom, you and your cookies wanted to make preparations for their arrival! You chuckled to yourself as you see just how excited the others were at getting to see them, they were pretty big fans if Wizard says tickets being sold out pretty quickly was any indication.
You were receiving the last few items off the train when you felt your vision go dark as you felt yourself getting dragged off from the loading area, the feeling of the stone beneath your feet become grass indicating the change in locale. You let out an oof as you felt something hit the back of your leg!
“Watch it, we can’t let a single bruise be left on their dough!”
“Pomegranate might get mad…”
“Hurry, before those cookies realize they’re gone!”
“She won’t be once Y/N Cookie joins us!”
Once you felt like the dragging came to a stop, you pulled off the sack over your head and wouldn’t you know it, it was the Cookies of Darkness of Werehound Brute, Red Velvet, Licorice, and Poison Mushroom Cookie.
They pretty much pleaded with you to join this little band they were creating and since you were quite the popular cookie, they figured that with your help, they can upstage the BTS Cookies and use the power of music to take over the world! Werehound was hyping up this idea so much as Mushroom tried to persuade you by having a lot of shroomies if you did this for them! Red Velvet did say it would make Dark Enchantress and Pomegranate happy if you took this offer, they’d have a lot of explaining to do if they fail. Seeing their faces in anticipation to your answer, even Red Velvet staring intently into your eyes, you let out a sigh.
God damn it, you always were a people’s pleaser
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Here you are with the B.A.D 5 in a competition against the BTS Cookies as you clashed with them throughout the concert. While your fellow members did the singing, you played your instrument to your heart’s content.
Brave and the audience felt bad about your defeats every time the BTS Cookies have bested you in musical combat, your talents were cool but to be stuck on the bad side meant unintentionally getting defeated onstage time and time again. You will admit that you were bummed out by the constant defeats, but you never gave up on the group, you guys had to win at some point!
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Pomegranate was your manager and you will admit she pulled off the look quite well~ Pomegranate reminded you of the plan and stay focused, but..thanked you for the compliment with a red tint to her face.
When it came to failures, she was very clearly more light with you compared to the others, you did wonderfully with music, it’s just a shame the others couldn’t match the quality with their efforts, what a disappointment. She would make this apparent by directing her gaze towards your other BAD members and motioning you to the side for a second.
She found herself nodding off to your music as she watched on your performances. She wonders if you’ll sell your music on albums later. She needs to get herself and DE a copy.
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Being the leader of the group, TNT was headstrong in the effort to upstage the BTS Cookies, you were all for it to make the big guy happy.
When he sprained his hand around the first duel, you tried to alleviate the pain by massaging it. He tried to shrug it off and say he was fine! He didn’t need no massage for his hand…but since you were offering…
When he needed the killer beats, he turned to you to do just that. TNT hearing your music made him pumped to just duke it out with the BTS Cookies already!
You comforted him after Pomegranate leaves after a cold exchange with her, telling him that it was all good, you guys might have mucked up this one, but he’ll emerge victorious in the end with his cool vocal skills! It did the trick into cheering him up right away!
When he couldn’t hold back his emotions after the song that he wrote himself, you quickly stopped playing to rush to his side as you tried to soothe him, ignoring the grumbling from the others. The resulting crushing hug from him as we weeped wasn’t comfortable, but if it made him feel better enough to continue, you gotta do what you gotta do!
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Hellhound appreciated that you valued the efforts he and his cake hounds have done to give the performance they did. He in return complimented your musical talent, it was just the right tone he needed to really bring out the rhythm and passion of him and the cake hounds!
You cared for the Cake Hounds behind the scenes and after the performance with Hellhound, they did their best but you suppose it just wasn’t up to par in comparison to the BTS Cookies. Hellhound seeing you place a caring pet onto the hounds made him have a small smile to himself.
He does hope you join them after his whole concert thing, you’d make a great caretaker for the cake hounds.
He will not tolerate any backlash towards you as you were playing your role just fine, it was just the others that couldn’t keep up with your playing!
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Don’t overexert yourself, Mushy P. Here have some water to help out with the strained rapping!
Constantly asks after every performance if you liked their rapping. The little cookie was quite good at it actually that..yes! You did find their skills as a fast singing rapper remarkable! It’s cute to see them joyous from your compliments.
You took up their offers for shroomies whenever they did after playing your tunes, they…actually sparked you to play more enthusiastically! Man, what were they putting in them?!
You headpatted the little one after a rough performance to help them out in any way. They were tired, but they let their appreciation be known by resting in your lap. After a duel with the BTS Cookies that ended in defeat, you could say Mushy earned it.
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You had to reel him in whenever he got into arguments with the other BAD members over the defeats by the BTS. It took hugging him close to make him stutter like crazy and drop the fuss.
He wasn’t really sure of his stage name, ZZ Skull, but you thought it was a pretty cool name. Alright, ZZ wasn’t such a bad name after all if you liked it.
He practices his singing backstage, you just happened to be recording one of his sessions. It got really interesting when you noticed that the lyrics to this particular song was in reference to you. He chased after you and pleaded to delete the video as he bawled in embarrassment.
He valued your opinion on his performance, so once he finishes, he would lowkey ask if you enjoyed his singing. He pretends to casually accept your compliments, but on the inside, ZZ was hyped! You liked his singing, you liked it!
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Producer D.K.E.C announcement to the group to return back to headquarters only served to bring disarray to the 4 cookies. She ordered Pomegranate to do so and “bring Y/N Cookie with you” and she’ll excuse this utterly pathetic display of failure.
Now it was the audience’s turn to be brought into an uproar, those who thought it was just part of the performance were now doubting that if a direct threat to Y/N Cookie being taken from them was made known. Thank god the BTS Cookies were able to turn the tables on the situation around by telling your band mates to forget about the Producer or your manager! Forget about world domination and all that fancy stuff and just sing what you want to say!
That was your cue! You played your instrument and this time, your crew opened their hearts and sang from within!
ZZ Skull: Gettin’ this power wasn’t a breeze… Wrote a diary with my own tears… Misery and DISGRACE!
HellHound: Ya ain’t never seen a Cookie like me! Am I Cake Monster or Cookie! Naw!
MUSHY P.: Have some shroomies, have some shroomies! Why won’t y’all try some shroomies…
Siren Serenade (you): Go ahead and try to test us, we are never backing down, never letting up!
T.N.T: Stop pointin’ your fingers and dumpin’ the hate… I’m bad to the core, evil’s my fate!
T.N.T: I’m BORN TO BE BAD, VILLAIN 4 LIFE
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To have the crowd actually enjoy the performance this time brought relief to you as you smiled to your fellow B.A.D members. It looks like your job here was done-
OOF! You were suddenly grabbed up into a hug by TNT as he swung you around joyous that you were able to settle the crowd with music that came from the heart. The others joined in shortly after, it was getting incredibly hard to breathe, but they were in the moment you guess. Pomegranate was grumbling in the background, how rude of them to just rush at you at once.
You’re taking a little break when you’re free…once you’re able to sneak off from your fellow band members…as well as the cheering audience who will likely flood you with asks for autographs.
What can you say, you’ve got your work cut out for you hehe.
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pandenewie · 4 months
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RULE FIVE: Break A Rule, Break The Contract
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Y/n feels ridiculous.
Niki had given them a strange look when they asked for Gaeul’s number. He gave in rather quickly though, after Y/n pulled out some killer puppy eyes and a promise to buy him ice cream on their next study date.
So now, Y/n finds themself sitting in an unfamiliar coffee shop as they wait for Gaeul to show up. They had asked her to meet up under the guise of getting to know each other a little better but, due to their anxiety, found themself arriving at the cafe almost 30 minutes early. Finally, Gaeul walks into the cafe; a wide smile adorning her face as soon as she spots Y/n.
“I’m so sorry I'm late!” Gaeul exclaims, sitting opposite Y/n. “You're okay. I was actually super early so you're right on time.” Y/n laughs. “Oh thank god. Sunghoon insisted I let him drive so he can practice and I swear, I thought he was going to kill me.” Gaeul says, causing Y/n's eyebrows to furrow. “Sunghoon's here?” They ask. “Yeah, I made him wait in the car, though. He said something about wanting to hang out because Riki is gatekeeping you from the guys but I told him he wasn't invited.” She laughs. “Aww, now I feel bad.” Y/n pouts. “He can come in, I don’t mind.”
Sunghoon practically runs into the cafe when Gaeul sends the text telling him can come. “I told you Y/n wants to hang out with me!” He exclaims, pulling up a chair. “They just felt bad for you.” Gaeul rolls her eyes, smiling affectionately at her boyfriend's teasing. “I just realised I made myself a third wheel.” Y/n laughs, scratching the back of their neck. “You could always invite Riki. We could have a double date.” Sunghoon suggests, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. 
“Well that's actually why I wanted to talk to you Gaeul… and I guess now Sunghoon. It's about Riki.” Y/n says, causing both their faces to fall. “Did something happen?” Gaeul asks. “Not exactly… I just thought since you guys are in a relationship maybe you’d be able to give me some advice on something.” Gaeul looks at Sunghoon, giving him a subtle hint to take things seriously. “I mean… we're basically couple goals so I'm sure we can help.” Sunghoon smiles, his response earning him a jab in the side from Gaeul. The whole interaction causes Y/n to laugh slightly.
“Well, my friends pointed out recently that I might like Niki more than I thought I did. I don’t know if he feels the same way… and I don't know if I really want him too.” Y/n mumbles. Sunghoon goes to respond but gets cut off by Gaeul's hand being placed on his thigh. “Go on.” Gaeul insists. “I’m kinda scared for things to change. And I know that if I tell him how I feel, they will. Even if it's a good change, I don't know if I'm ready.” Y/n sighs before suddenly looking up. 
“How did you guys know you liked each other?” The question causes Gaeul to turn to Sunghoon with a smile. “Even when he was being a total idiot, I thought he was endearing. We could hang out for hours and never get bored and I quickly realised that I didn't want him to leave my side.” She says, her words causing Sunghoon to break out into a wide smile - dimples on show as he looks down at her hand on his thigh.
Y/n can’t help an overwhelming feeling of jealousy consume their body as they take in the way Sunghoon and Gaeul look at each other. They’re cute, Y/n thinks. They want that.
“Do you feel that way about Riki, Y/n?”
The answer gets caught in Y/n’s throat. They do feel that way about him; that’s the problem. Gaeul said those words so casually - as if she weren’t at all scared to share with the world how much she cared about Sunghoon. 
Taking note of Y/n’s silence, Gaeul nudges Sunghoon. “Don’t fuck this up.” She whispers, making him gulp nervously - searching his brain for the best advice to give. “Even if you really like someone, it can be hard to tell if you’re ready for something serious, like a relationship. You’re both young and being scared is normal… but I think you should tell Riki if you’re unsure about something. Talking to him might help you figure out what exactly you’re looking for.” Sunghoon says, smiling proudly when Gaeul gives him a subtle nod.
Y/n takes a moment to process Sunghoon’s mini-speech. From the small amount of time they’ve spent with him in the past, they’d never seen him so serious before. The clear contrast in character helps to ease Y/n’s nerves a little. Surely, if someone like Sunghoon is able to listen to Y/n’s concerns seriously, they must be valid. Right?
“Thanks… sorry for involving you guys in my relationship problems.” Y/n says sheepishly, causing the other two to laugh. “I’d rather you ask us than someone like Heeseung. He broke up with his last girlfriend over Facebook Messenger.” Sunghoon says, attempting to lighten the mood. He can only be serious for so long. “Okay, let’s go order before we start talking about the entire group’s love lives.” Gaeul jokes, pulling Sunghoon by the hand and gesturing Y/n to follow.
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Sunghoon's words seem to play on repeat in the back of Y/n's mind. Talking to him might help you figure out what exactly you’re looking for. It's good advice, in theory. If Y/n were a logical person, they might just listen to it… but Y/n is not logical.
Talking to Niki would mean being open and honest with their feelings - something they absolutely do not want to do because, hello, commitment issues. Sorry, Sunghoon. Your good advice is gonna have to go to waste.
“Something's wrong.” Niki comments, snapping Y/n out of their thoughts. They had been so wrapped up in their brain that they forgot Niki was sitting right in front of them. Putting on their best fake smile, Y/n looks up at him. “I'm fine. Just daydreaming… you know me.” Y/n laughs, hoping they are able to convince Niki that everything is completely fine.
Their efforts fall flat as Niki looks at them - his eyes filled with worry. “Y/n, you know you can talk to me, right?” The sincerity in his voice causes Y/n's heartbeat to quicken. God, he’s cute when he’s worried. Shaking away the thought, Y/n abruptly picks up their untouched sandwich. “We don’t have to talk. Like I said, I’m just spacing out. Let’s eat.” Y/n says, going to shove their sandwich into their mouth. Before they can, however, Niki’s hand wraps gently around their wrist - halting all movements.
“Y/n.” He says, voice stern. Sighing, Y/n realises that Niki clearly knows something is up and he's not going to drop this anytime soon. Curse him and his observational self. Mustering up all their courage, Y/n turns to look at Niki - his grip on their wrist loosening when they do so.
“I don’t think we should fake date anymore.”
The words come out of Y/n’s mouth before they can even fully process them. Y/n’s eyes desperately search Niki’s for any sign of emotion - disappointment, relief, anything. Instead, he looks at them blankly before replying: “Okay.”
That’s it? No further questions? No demand for an explanation? Is he just going to let everything end like that?
“You’re not mad?” Y/n asks, nervously. The question causes Niki’s lips to upturn slightly, the subtle smile calming Y/n’s heart just a little. “Of course I’m not mad, Y/n. I can’t force you to be in a fake relationship with me. Besides, this was always going to end eventually, right? I just hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable at all.”
That’s what he’s worried about? Y/n’s freaking out about the constant blurring lines between real and fake, how to live with their growing feelings for him and how to process all of this whilst still convincing the outside world that they’re actually together. Niki was just worried about making Y/n uncomfortable?
“You could never make me uncomfortable.” Y/n states simply, their words causing Niki to sigh with relief. “That’s good.” It falls silent between the two as they both take in the situation. “Well… I guess I’ll see you around?” Niki asks, unsure of what to do next. The two barely saw each other before this whole fake dating thing happened - Y/n was a friend of a friend. Are they supposed to go back to being practically strangers after spending nearly every day together?
Y/n mumbles a quiet yeah, getting up to collect their things without even glancing at Niki. They don’t say anything more as they sling their bag onto their back and they certainly don’t say anything as they turn around and start walking away.
Niki wants to scream. He wants to yell for Y/n not to go; to call them an idiot for even suggesting such a thing. But he would never do that. It’s like he said, he can’t force them into this. Even as his heart feels emptier with each step they take away from him, he can’t protest. This is what Y/n wants.
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“What’s up? Aren’t you having lunch with Riki?” Eunchae asks, confused when she spots Y/n approaching the two of them. Y/n goes to respond but the words get caught in their throat, eyes filling with tears. “Oh, babe.” Danielle sighs, immediately pulling Y/n into a hug.
It’s silly; crying over a fake relationship ending. Yet Y/n can’t help the tears from slipping down their cheeks. Was it all just fake to Niki? He agreed to break up like it meant nothing - like Y/n meant nothing.
Meanwhile, Niki also shares what happened with his friends. Although, the reaction is a lot less comforting.
“You’re a fucking idiot.” Sunoo says. “Y/n was probably the best thing to ever happen to you and you’re not even gonna try and fight for them?” Niki is stunned at Sunoo’s words. The two of them weren’t even “dating” for that long - why is everyone looking at him like he’s made the biggest mistake of his life?
“The best thing that ever happened to me? We were together for like 2 months, tops.” Niki laughs, trying to ease the tension in the group. “And even in those two months, we could see how much Y/n changed you.” Sughoon pointed out. “For the better, might I add.” Jungwon chimes in.
Niki looks around at the group, confused. They had never acted this way about any of the other guys' relationships - and those were actually real. Did they like Y/n that much?
“I’m just glad they dumped you and not the other way around.” Jake shrugs. “What? Aren’t you guys supposed to be my friends?” Niki asks, offended. “We are your friends. And as your friends, we are obligated to tell you when you fuck up - like losing Y/n.” Heeseung says. 
Niki feels his blood start to boil. It’s a similar feeling he used to get when they would tease him about being single - the situation eerily similar to the day he made up the whole fake relationship.
“Okay… I was never going to tell you this since it's super embarrassing but you guys are ripping into me anyway… the relationship was fake. Y/n and I never actually dated.”
The group look at their youngest friend sunned - taking in his words. “You really are an idiot.” Jake laughs. “Why the hell would you do that? What is this, a Netflix show?” Niki looks down, embarrassment creeping across his face. “You guys were always teasing me for not being in a relationship and… I don’t know, it made me feel like I was lame compared to you all. So I made the whole thing up to get you guys off my back.” Niki admits, his face burning bright red.
“You’re such a baby.” Heeseung teases, reaching forward to ruffle Niki’s hair. The action brings back memories of all the times he did that to Y/n - it’s strange to be on the receiving end for once. “You know, we would’ve cut back on the teasing if you told us it bothered you.” Jay says, honestly. “I thought you guys would tease me for being a wimp…” Niki mumbles, a small pout on his lips. “We probably would’ve… but it’s better than making up a whole fake relationship!” Jake says. “I can’t believe you convinced Y/n to do all that. It seemed so real.” Sunoo says in awe.
“Wait, does that mean the conversation Y/n had with Gaeul and I was fake too?” Sunghoon asks, suddenly - his question causing the rest of the group to look at him, puzzled. “What conversation?” Niki asks. “The other day, we went to a cafe and Y/n told us how they were scared because they thought they liked you more than you liked them.”
The group falls silent as Sunghoon’s words hang heavy in the air. He looks around the group with confusion, wide eyes and open mouths looking back at him. “Y/n said that?” Niki asks, causing Sunghoon to slowly nod in response. “They were asking Gaeul how she knew she liked me and were talking about how they’re scared for things to change between you two… did they not talk to you about it?” Sunghoon asks, Niki’s eyes widening even further with each word. It looks like they’re about to pop out of his head.
“Obviously they didn’t tell him, you idiot!” Jay says, slapping Sunghoon’s shoulder. “Does that mean Y/n actually likes you?” Sunoo asks, excited. Niki can’t help but shake his head in response. There’s no way Y/n actually likes him… right? They were the one who initiated the “break up” to begin with!
“What else did Y/n talk to you about?” Niki asks, turning to Sunghoon almost desperately. “It was mainly just that… they were wanting advice on how to talk to you about their feelings.” Sunghoon shrugs simply. “And you didn’t find it suspicious?” Niki asks. “Well, at the time, I thought you guys were actually together, so no.” Sunghoon replies, defensively.
“Why wouldn’t you come tell me if you thought my partner was having second thoughts about me?”
“I told Y/n to talk to you themself. I don’t want to involve myself in your relationship dramas!”
“But you’re perfectly happy poking your nose in every other aspect of my relationship.”
“A relationship that was fake, Niki. You’re getting all worked up over something that was never actually real.”
“It was real to me!”
Niki’s words seem to even shock himself, with the ways his eyes widen and dart nervously between each of the other guys. “Okay, I think we all need to just calm down.” Jungwon tries to de-escalate the situation. Niki cuts him off by abruptly standing up. “Where are you going?” Sunoo asks. “I’m going to talk to Y/n.”
The friend group falls silent once again as they watch Niki storm off. Sighing, Jungwon turns to look at Sunghoon - noticing a sly smirk adorning his lips. “You purposely pushed his buttons to get him to admit his feelings, didn’t you?” Jungwon asks, earning a chuckle in response. “Someone had to get those two idiots together.”
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This feels like deja vu - the way Niki is currently searching the school grounds for Y/n. A few short months ago, he had done the exact same thing. Only this time, he was looking for Y/n in hopes of asking them to be in a real relationship rather than a fake one.
After checking all their usual classes with no luck, Niki finds himself turning back to the one person he knows he probably shouldn’t… Hong Eunchae.
It’s not the most ideal situation, turning to your ex-girlfriend to help you confess your feelings for one of their best friends. To be fair - the two only dated for 6 days so they’re barely considered exes, but still.
“I don’t want to talk to you, Riki.” Eunchae scowls, her attempt at scarring the male going unsuccessful. “This is important, Chae.” Niki frowns. “You think everything’s important.” Eunchae rolls her eyes. “Yeah, well, I’m telling the truth this time.” Niki says, only earning an eye roll in response as Eunchae attempts to walk away from the situation.
Niki, however, quickly catches up - grabbing her arm and pulling her to an unaccompanied spot in the hallway. “Look, I need you to help me find Y/n.” The question leaves Eunchae puzzled. “Just text them.” She deadpans, earning a sigh from Niki. “You think I haven’t tried that? They’re not responding to me.” He says. “Yeah, I wonder why.” She laughs dryly. “You made Y/n cry, Niki. Have you ever had to deal with a sad Y/n? It’s heartbreaking. And none of this would’ve happened if you hadn’t dragged them into your stupid games and played with their feelings.” Eunchae scolds, her brows furrowed with anger as she rips into Niki.
The thought of Y/n crying causes Niki’s heart to ache - especially with him being the reason why. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to play with Y/n’s feelings, I promise… Look, I really like Y/n. I’m dumb for not realising it sooner but I know now. I want to make things right with them but I need our help… please, Eunchae.” Niki practically begs. Eunchae’s face stays cold as she looks into Niki’s eyes, scanning for any signs of deceit. Sighing, Eunchae grabs her phone to send Y/n a text. “Fine… but only because you guys are really fucking cute.”
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“And with that, I’ll leave today’s lesson here. Remember, if you don’t get that research paper done by Monday I will personally track you down.” Mr Yoon jokes, earning a couple of scared laughs from the students. “I’m kidding, I’d lose my teaching licence. Now get out of my classroom.”
As Y/n begins to pack up their books, they are interrupted by the sound of Mr Yoon’s voice. “Y/n, are you able to stay back for a second?” A few students let out playful “oohs” at the thought of Y/n getting in trouble before finally filing out of the classroom.
“Did I do something wrong, Mr Yoon?” Y/n asks, nervously approaching his desk. “On the contrary, Y/n. I actually have something for you.” Mr Yoon says, suspiciously pulling out a piece of paper from the left drawer of his desk and handing it to Y/n. “Your boyfriend found me in the teachers’ lounge and wouldn’t let me finish my coffee in peace until I promised to give this to you. He’s very determined, that boy. Anyway, I won’t keep you any longer.” Mr Yoon finishes before gesturing for Y/n to leave the room.
Once safely outside Mr Yoon’s classroom, Y/n carefully opens the note. There, printed in neat handwriting, is a little note from Niki:
“To Y/n,
I hope this letter gets to you safely through Mr Yoon (and that he doesn’t read it. Mr Yoon, if this is you, please stop now). I know writing letters is kinda lame but in a way, it’s also kinda cute, no? Anyway, I want to talk to you in person about something… please meet me at our spot (the bleachers on the field, if you’ve forgotten).
From Riki <3”
Y/n considers for a moment to just ignore the message. Although, knowing them, they’d probably go home and reread it over and over again like the love-drunk loser they are. Sighing, Y/n starts making their way to the field. Niki did nothing wrong - it was their own fault for reading too into things and getting feelings involved. There’s no need to go around acting like Niki broke their heart when he did so unwillingly. That wouldn’t be fair on him.
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“You wanted to talk to me?”
The sudden voice causes Niki to jump slightly, looking to the side to see Y/n standing at the bottom of the bleachers. “You came.” He states the obvious, standing from where he’s sat and making his way towards them. “You went through the effort of stalking my history teacher… I couldn’t just ignore you after that.” Y/n jokes.
“So, what did you want to talk about?” Y/n asks, looking up at Niki. Now, with them standing right in front of him, all of Niki’s practicing goes out the window. He had everything planned - what to say, how to say it. But one look into Y/n’s eyes, shining up at him expectantly and they’re suddenly the only thing occupying his mind.
“Why did you break up with me?” Niki asks, his question causing Y/n’s brows to furrow. “I… what?” Y/n stutters, confused. “You asked Sunghoon and Gaeul for relationship advice because you thought you liked me more than I liked you… so why did you break up with me?” Niki’s voice is quiet, a small frown on his lips as he asks Y/n.
They’re suddenly avoiding eye contact, Y/n’s face flushing a bright red at the sudden question - as well as the exposure of their feelings. “I was scared that you were going to reject me.” Y/n mumbles. “This was all fake for you. If I was honest with my feelings, there was a chance you wouldn’t reciprocate. I would rather deal with the pain of never telling you than the possibility of rejection.” Y/n states simply.
“That’s… really fucking stupid.” Niki’s words cause Y/n’s eyes to shoot up. “Sorry I just… god, Y/n, do you not see the way I look at you? Why do you think everyone believed we were together so easily?” Niki asks. Y/n’s brain is starting to short-circuit, the situation and sudden change in atmosphere giving them whiplash. “Because we’re good actors?” They ask, their answer causing Niki to chuckle. “I wasn’t acting, Y/n. Maybe the label of dating was fake but everything I said and did with you was all real.” Niki says honestly.
Y/n pauses to think for a moment, their lips curved into a slight pout as they take in Niki’s words. “Are you saying… that you like me?” They ask, finally, looking up at Niki with hopeful eyes. The view causes him to smile widely, not resisting the urge to reach down and ruffle Y/n’s hair affectionately for the first time this week (he sets a mental reminder that he’ll have to make up for lost time later on). “Yes, Y/n. I like you… a lot.” The words cause Y/n to break out into an unknowing smile.
It feels like time has stopped as Niki waits for a reply. He doesn’t want to push Y/n - knowing how scared they are, it’s the last thing he’d want to do. But waiting for an answer is slowly killing him, even though only mere seconds have passed.
“I like you too, Riki.” Y/n states, finally. Their words cause an immediate wave of relief to rush over Niki’s body. He wastes no time stepping forward and pulling Y/n into his arms, squeezing them tightly as they giggle against his chest. “Oh my god, I thought you were going to reject me for a second.” He groans, nuzzling his nose into the crown of Y/n’s head. “That would be very stupid of me.” Y/n laughs. “Well, you dumped me instead of talking about your feelings so… wouldn’t be the first stupid thing you’ve done this week.” Niki jokes, yelping in pain when Y/n playfully hits his chest.
The two stand in each other’s arms for much longer than anticipated, relishing in the warmth that radiates off the other’s body. They’re grateful that most other students have gone by now, leaving the field a peaceful haven for just the two of them.
“Does this mean we’re dating for real now?” Y/n asks, peeking their head up to look at Niki. He looks down, eyes temporarily landing on Y/n’s lips before eventually deciding against it. It’s too soon. “Well, I’d be pretty embarrassed if we didn’t. I got your teacher involved and everything.” Niki says. “Boyfriend of the Year.” Y/n laughs, their words causing his heart to flutter. Boyfriend of the Year - take that, Sunghoon.
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TAG LIST: @j-wyoung @thesassy-mia @luvistqrzzz @yourmyst4r @heerinnie @odisdad @wzy3ka @mrchweeee @rizzkisworld @beomsbeanie @ablackbtsstan @sweet-kisses-and-bloody-screams @kang-yeosangs-initials @wildflowermooon @k1ttylvr @nikisdubblchococake @luva1y @microwvdstrawb3rri3s @en-happiness @haechansbbg @ashiitex @nuttyenthusiastdaze @coolwitu @schniti-is-in-the-house @wrosie-writes @beomgyusonlywife @ye0nvibezzn @soobiverse @im-yn-suckers @tomomorin @eupherbia @raginghellfire
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gyunglitter · 6 months
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➷ 01 ➷
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-“oh, the way he makes me feel that love isn’t real -– cupid is so dumb”
or
unlike you, your brother’s best friend just doesn’t know when to quit
word count: 1,766
warnings: probably just the reader making you cringe lol, give her a break--she's 11 lmao
tags: brother’s-best-friend!beomgyu x reader, ??? to ???, angst, fluff(??), beomgyu is the cool boy-next-door, reader is an independent girlboss (or trying to be, at least), beomgyu’s gonna be GROVELING, simp!gyu, pathetic pining from both sides lol, maybe some cringe from reader (she was a teenage girl in love, have some empathy plz😭)
notes: LMAO SORRY TO POST KINDA LATE, I FORGOT I PROMISED TODAY HAHAHAHA
another short chapter, but i promise the next couple of chapters are a lot longer! enjoy mini reader, beomgyu, and soobin tho :)
–> masterlist <–
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Ten Years Ago
If there was one thing your family agreed on, it was that Soobin was the shyest person around.
You and Soobin were very close, having a lot of the same interests and mannerisms. You didn’t disagree on many things (yet), but there were only a handful of differences between you two. You were eleven years old, making your older brother thirteen, and about to go into his final year of middle school. But the main thing that had set you both apart was that while you had many friends, Soobin had absolutely no one. He was a very sweet and funny kid, but he was too shy for his own good, unintentionally pushing the majority of the people his age away.
You had hoped your brother would make some friends during his seventh year, but had little to no luck; apparently, the Bunny Girl Senpai Fanclub wasn’t taking many applicants and the Pokemon Card Collectors Club was a bunch of gatekeepers. Middle school boys.
“What if I just faked being sick?”
Soobin held his head in his hands as he was waiting for his pop tarts in the toaster. You sat on the counter across from him, shoving down a bowl of Frosted Flakes. You didn’t have to leave for another hour when your mom would drive you to the primary school a few blocks away. Soobin, on the other hand, was supposed to set off for his first day of eighth grade soon, but was stalling as much as he could before he had to start walking over. 
You snorted, “For the whole year? Fat chance of that happening, you’re the worst liar.”
Your brother lifted his head and glared at you, before sighing loudly and crying, “I hate school, it’s filled with people who are scary and take your rare Charizard card!”
You opened your mouth to reply, but were interrupted by your house’s doorbell ringing. You looked towards the front door and turned back to Soobin expectantly. But your brother wasn’t paying any attention. To your (un)amusement, he was still sulking about, well, just about everything. Like you said, middle school boys.
Shaking your head, you hopped off of the counter (carefully, as your dad had shown you) and walked over to the front door.You figured it was one of your neighbors or the mailman. You usually weren’t allowed to open the door yourself, but that completely escaped your mind when you opened the door and were faced with an unfamiliar boy.
A cute, unfamiliar boy.
You mentally thanked your mom for braiding your hair in two with your favorite butterfly clips now.
“Hi,” you said, a small grin taking over your face. “I’m Y/n!”
The boy looked at you and smiled back. “Hey, Y/n, your mom or dad home?”
You nodded your head. “They are, but they’re running around getting ready. I can definitely help you though!” What can you say, you were a confident kid.
“I don’t know, you might be a bit too little,” he teased you, making you scoff.
“Little? I’ll have you know, I can deal with anything, even crazy!”
He laughed a little at that and then said, “Of course! I’m sure you’re super responsible at the age of..?”
“Eleven,” you bragged, tucking a stray hair back into one of your butterfly clips.
The boy nodded in deep understanding and said, “Well, little Y/n, I’m Beomgyu. I just moved here and my mom told me you guys had someone my age here too! I figured we could walk to school together,” he said, rubbing the back of his head.
Your eyes widened at that, a warm feeling taking over your stomach. 
The boy was cute, duh. But his easy offer of friendship, something your brother had struggled to find, made you know that this Beomgyu had a kindness to him that not many his age did–according to Soobin.
Your grin widened at the boy in front of you, nodding your head eagerly. “Just give me a sec,” you squealed, excited for your brother. “OPPA! YOU’RE FINALLY GONNA MAKE A FRIEND!”
Years later, you look back and remember the loud laugh Beomgyu had let out at your call, his excitement outweighing the awkwardness Soobin exhibited when he appeared at your doorway with a pop tart hanging from his mouth.
You look back and remember Beomgyu easily befriending Soobin with his wide smiles, animated hand gestures, and cool stories about his new pet bird. The way he eased your brother’s nerves and got him laughing, already offering to share the other pop tart in his pack.
You look back and cringe sometimes at the confidence those lame butterfly clips gave you. But you take it back when you would remember Beomgyu, with an arm around Soobin’s shoulder, had turned around while the two boys were about to take off for school, saying in a singsong tone, “Nice to meet you, little Y/n, love the butterfly clips, by the way!”
But most of all, you remember the way your cheeks flushed. The way he made you feel like you were cute too. Like you were special. You remember how that was the first of many times he would fluster you with his compliments. 
You were only eleven, but at that moment you would look back and remember how this is where you became a fool–a fool for love.
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“You look really good,” he whispered to you.
It took everything in you to not show how much he affected you. Unlike the many instances before though, you actually succeeded this time around. Your focused gaze on your brother and father’s random discussion about his anime watching habits kept your eyes from widening, and your well placed makeup did a good job of hiding the flush that desperately wanted to highlight your neck and cheeks. It bothered you very much how Choi Beomgyu could still get under your skin.
“Thanks,” you replied shortly, not letting your eyes leave their spot on Soobin. 
–Your brother was whining about how there was no harm in watching anime when he already got his work done for the day–
Despite your subtle avoidance of him, you knew it wasn’t reciprocated by the way his breaths brushed against your ear. The way his eyes were on you, you could feel them as if they were burning you. It felt like he was truly drinking you in after so many years of not getting a single glimpse of you. But that was all you would allow him.
“I, uh, it’s nice to see you again. It’s been a while,” he continued, trying to catch your attention.
You hummed disinterestedly. 
–Your father had taken to pointing out Soobin’s body pillows, to which he groaned loudly, claiming that was actually Beomgyu’s gag gift to make him look sus–
But Beomgyu was not deterred.
“Congrats on, well, everything from the past four years! I know college can be pretty crazy!”
You winced a little at that, remembering how your mom told you Beomgyu had actually dropped out of college about three months after you left for school. Despite Beomgyu doing amazing in school when you were still around–there was talk of him possibly graduating at the top of your class–he practically tanked his classes the following fall semester. 
“But of course, if there was anyone who could deal with crazy, it would be our little Y/n, huh,” he laughed a little–that same damn laugh he had when you first met. “I mean, you are pretty amazing—”
You weren’t sure what he had gotten up to after you left, but you weren’t interested in hearing anything. Not about him, his future, and definitely not about how amazing he thought you were.
“Wow dad, this shrimp tastes great!” You shouted your false gratitude, successfully interrupting Beomgyu and the argument between your brother and father.
All the chatter stopped for a second, before your dad grinned at you. “Thanks, bean, make sure to grab some more then! You’re looking too skinny, anyways, are you sure you ate enough out there,” he asked, wiping his hands on the front of his apron.
You laughed and nodded, both at your dad’s question and Soobin's grateful stare for changing the topic. Eventually, your mother started another conversation about how Soobin’s friends from school were doing.
“I thought you didn’t like seafood,” Beomgyu muttered to you when he got the chance.
For the first time that evening, you looked back at him.
You realized, with a painful squeeze in your chest, that Beomgyu had grown past the stage of cuteness that you had adored when you were younger, and in your absence, became beautiful. Sure, his puppy dog eyes stayed the same, holding that familiar kindness and curiosity as before. But now, his face lost its round edges and became chiseled, looking as if his features were carved by Aphrodite, herself. His hair was dyed brown and had grown out a little into what was beginning to look like a mullet, giving off a boyish look that his typically mischievous expressions matched easily. Not only that, but he looked like he’d really grown into himself, physically and mentally. Granted, he wasn’t in the best place when you had left four years ago, but the way he carried himself was refreshing. Attractive. Him.
“I didn’t, but I do now.” You took another bite of the shrimp on your plate. “I mean, it’s been a long four years. The things I liked before changed quite a bit while I was gone. ”
You watched Beomgyu’s face fall a bit at that, his puppy dog eyes becoming downcast as he looked towards his own plate of chicken. There wasn’t much on his plate to begin with, but it seemed he wasn’t going to be eating any more after that.
“Yeah, I guess they would after so long,” Beomgyu whispered, pushing his food around with his chopsticks. 
You turned back to your own food to try and get your mind off of him, but he stopped you with his next words.
“If it changes anything, so have mine.”
This time, you couldn’t stop your eyes from widening. You turned towards Beomgyu, to see him looking at you with what you could only assume was guilt.
“I just wish they had done so earlier.”
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–> next <–
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otrtbs · 3 months
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bro if you wrote research papers i would devour them, your knowledge is incredible and you share it in a way that makes me eager to learn more. you explain and describe things so purely, you have this knowledge and love that you want to share and that feels so rare! you create out of love. your passion shines through so brightly in regulus in winterlude. In chap 4, “She had a tiny… for better methods.” you have me hooked. ahb! has already sent me deep into learning about art, winterlude is making me want to study it seriously. you are an incredibly talented writer, and i would love to read any type of work you put out.
hi!!
this is one of the sweetest compliments i’ve ever received :,)) thank you so much!! <33
in my educational and professional life it’s always been super important to me to examine the way we talk about art.
the “we” being, well, those in the art history field. curators, academics, critics, gallerists, etc.
because i believe so much curiosity for the subject and eagerness to learn is killed by the gatekeep-y way (mainly) older art historians talk about art. by referencing artists or movements or complex technical terms with little to no background ,,, they make the language and writing surrounding the subject unnecessarily complex and dense where it’s almost impossible to understand just for the sake of justifying their own intelligence/subject matter etc.
(which isn’t to say that texts you read can’t or shouldn’t be challenging or that overly simplistic explanations are superior. they can be complex in their ideas and inquisitive whilst still keeping the reader in mind)
but with my writing about art and art history it has always been a goal of mine to remove some of the accessibility barriers present in the field. in the hopes that, anyone, even those without advanced degrees in the subject, can read the text and have, at the very least, a foothold or semblance of understanding and curiosity instead of leaving a paper feeling discouraged and wildly overwhelmed and confused.
i’m rambling but i feel like if you love a subject and you’re writing on it to bring new ideas or to tell people about it,,,, you think you’d want to encourage them to get excited about the subject too,,, not use intentionally exclusionary and confusing language to appeal to other academics already in the field (<- which like obviously know ur audience. bc some papers are mainly meant to address other academics in the field etc etc)
and w fanfic the stakes are So SO much lower. basically non-existent so i get to be like “LOOK! (if u want to look and ur curious) I LOVE THIS THING !!! and i get to talk about in a new way!!! by integrating it into conversations ,,, into character’s stories ,,,, into casual settings !! instead of the highly academic strictly educational papers im used to!!” and that part has been THE MOST FUN for me :,))
anyway ,, just thank you very much for this ask !! it has made my night!! <33 i hope you have the best time learning and researching and exploring the subject and if you ever have any questions or want other resources let me know anytime !!!
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Me, thinking about Mando Chapter 21: The Pirate where Din patiently presents his petition on helping Nevarro to the Covert members, not once thinking of waving the Darksaber around, knowing he can rule with it and the Covert can’t say no. He doesn’t pull rank—either he forgot he even had the Darksaber (typical Din tbh 🫠), or he hasn’t found himself worthy of the responsibility yet. Declaring oneself as Mand’alor because they weild the Darksaber is a huge HUGE deal and Din respects it. He still humbles himself in front of his Covert because he knows that it could cost all of them.
…and then there’s PAZ.
I love Paz to bits. Lol!!!!! He may be a gatekeeper and a stickler to the Creed, but at least he’s self-aware, publicly letting the Covert know that while he and Din don’t always get along, he’s willing to restore goodwill because Din and Bo saved Ragnar. He’s super extra. 🤣 He knows being a Mandalorian comes with a heavy price, especially now. He brings in the drama. He needed a go at the ✨talking stick✨ because Vizslas always need their time to shine. 🤭💥💥 But the Covert respects him, and now, Paz respects Din. YAY BROSHIP RESTORED 🥹🤜🏽🤛🏽💙
Meanwhile, the Armorer to Bo-Katan: “DO YOU RESPECT MY STATION?” 👑 (after highlighting the super importance of the Forge, etc) Y I K E S
Loving the dynamic of these four characters. Let’s celebrate with this poster which happens to be my most fav so far:
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Do you have any tips for someone that's never been on fetlife before to navigate things safely? I've never been on but am thinking about trying it. Thank you in advance!
Hahaaaa! Your timing on this question is hilarious because I was literally thinking this morning about how glad I am that I deactivated my fet profile several weeks ago. It's such a fucking cesspool - at least in my experience.
That being said! It is how I met @daddybiff - so it can have an upside if you're lucky.
Anyway, tips and tricks for FetLife...
It's really, really not a dating site. That's not to say you can't meet partners on there! But it's definitely not a dating site - so don't approach it that way.
Creeps, etc. are as prevalent on there as they are on Tumblr. Sometimes more. So just keep your wits about you and, you know, stranger danger, common sense, don't give out personal info, etc.
The BDSM community is a small one. Even in big cities - it's a small one. There's a lot of history there and you'll find that many of the same people keep cropping up within a specific "area" or radius or whatever. You can use that to your advantage because it means that people will know each other and you can "vet" them by hearing them talk about each other, etc. Not in the sense of gossip (although don't discount that) but in the sense that if patterns seem to keep talking up then, you know, consider that.
It's really best to use it for networking and finding events. Munches, sloshes, etc. Those are great! Find an event or events that you really love and check them out. Obviously in public!
My best advice? Go slow, take it easy, and trust your gut. Tumblr talks a lot about sub frenzy - but this applies to events as well. It's so easy to get caught up when you start going to events and meeting new people and stuff (even if you've got lifestyle experience) so just make sure you're taking it slowly.
Also, fair warning, kink can be super, super clique-y. In my experience (in the Midwest) people are super clique-y, they gatekeep, they like to talk about how there's "no one right way to do kink" and then criticize any way that's not their way... So just keep your head up and you'll find your people. You will! But just know that there are a lot of shitbags - and they tend to be the loud ones which means they tend to be the ones in the spotlight. So just hang in there and keep meeting people and you'll find your group.
I don't know if this helped. But good luck!
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terrietont · 7 months
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My favourite thing on the internet:
When a person who sees some petty fandom war going on and is either in both fandoms, one, the other or none at all and creates a depiction of fanart/fan fiction of both fandoms being super friendly with eachother and it brings people together away from the shit that is cringe culture, gatekeeping and general fandom toxicity.
The harmony of crossovers being depicted as not a ‘X vs Y’ but a “Nice to meet you I’m from X” “Nice to meet you too I’m from Y, wanna be friends?” “Yeah sure!”
It’s just a thing that needs to be done more.
Same as mixing genres from a more “serious” one to something funny, wholesome or silly.
Never had so much fun putting a xenomoph in a Sims alien bachelorette challenge and putting Samara Morgan in a house with two other ghosts and a drunk werewolf. Just 👌 lovely nonsense, I am here for it.
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nezuchuuko · 11 days
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i’m so glad my feelings about atla/lok basically boil down to: “this series was great and very important to me as a kid and as a teen but it’s an era of my life that i have moved on from” because i’m so over the discourse sparked by the live action and don’t care too much to engage with. that being said, i’m weirdly still super gatekeep-y about azula.
what can i say i saw myself in her and saw parallels in her relationship with her brother and mother with my own life. and that sometimes makes me feel disoriented. it makes me tap into a point in my life i’ve mostly tried to forget
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look, i'm all for second-lead syndrome and there have even been a number of books/shows i haven't finished because i can't bear the pain/embarrassment/awkwardness of that post-confession time where the confessor has to figure out how to deal with being rejected because i empathize so much with him.
but.
i can't fucking staaaaaaaaaaaaand it when the second lead has never even MENTIONED to the girl that he's in love with her, but he acts super jealous and gatekeep-y of her developing relationship with the main lead and also inserts himself where he doesn't belong and it's like, bruh, if you really love her and you can see that she is falling for this other dude, be responsible, be mature, and 1, tell her how you feel so you don't have the infinite regret of not expressing yourself and also so you don't have any what-ifs because you'll know her response, and then 2, let her go and love whoever the fuck she wants!!! just accept that she only sees you as a brother/cousin/friend/completely-non-sexual being, and move the fuck on, my dude
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shcherbatskayas · 6 months
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thinking about the "who has the more annoying fans: mitski, hozier, or ethel cain" poll and imo, there are two ways to be an incredibly annoying fan of anything.
the fandom stereotype fan. this is the first person who comes to mind when you think of "annoying x fan." for hozier, it's the "haha bog folk man sings love songs" fans. for mitski, it's the "sad girl songs only" fans. these people have pretty reductive views of The Thing They Like, and boil it down to one or two stock tropes before constantly repeating those tropes over and over and over. it doesn't even tend to be super accurate, although there is some truth to it: hozier has a lot of songs that incorporate nature imagery and some great acoustic stuff, but he also has a huge blues influence and a political bent to his music that the fandom stereotype ignores. mitski has songs that are about depression and struggle, but also plenty of songs that hit on themes like racism and capitalism and genuinely uplifting love songs that "sad girl songs" brushes past. at their worst, these fans also tend to get entitled (the people who freaked out about mitski asking her fans not to record her concerts are mostly this type) and stalker-y. don't be this person: this person is fucking annoying.
the "i'm not like other fans" fan. this person can only exist if there's type one fans out and about, although they could theoretically create a strawman type one if they wanted. you can absolutely criticize type one fans without being this person. they hate type one fans to excess, and spend way more time making sure everyone knows that they aren't like those type one fans than they do actually enjoying the thing that they like. everybody on earth needs to know that they're cool and normal about this and other people are Being Fans Wrong; these people are hardly ever cool or normal about anything. 90% of their shit is drama about type one fans or infighting amongst fellow type twos. these people are also fucking annoying! at their worst, they harass type one fans (and each other) which is. that's not a proportionate response to someone liking music in a way you dislike, even if they're being super shitty about it. this is also where you tend to fine gatekeep-y fans. don't be this person: this person is fucking annoying.
in conclusion, aim to be a type three (casual enjoyer!) or a type four (passionate fan who can enjoy without being a type one and criticize without being a type four; perfect balance and harmony). don't be those other people: they are fucking annoying. thank you for coming to my ted talk.
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hibiscusangel15 · 1 year
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Chainsaw Man exploding in popularity way before the anime’s release is really interesting to me. I love the series, don’t get me wrong, but the hype from both within and far, far outside the sphere of seasonal anime watchers is staggering to me.
Sure, it’s in Shonen Jump and so it wouldn’t be particularly unheard of, but it’s also got major horror elements and extreme gore, which tends to turn a lot of people off. Maybe it’s the level of violence that intrigues people. Then again, there are tons of anime like Dorohedoro (and shows like Castlevania) that have tons of gore and death, and those don’t catch nearly as much attention as this anime has. I’ve even overheard coworkers who don’t watch anime or are very new to watching it mention Chainsaw Man in passing.
It’s still a bit strange to me to see anime’s overall rise in popularity in the last few years. Not in a gatekeep-y, “I watched anime before it was cool” way. I think it’s great that I can talk about anime as like a casual workplace subject.
I just feel like I can’t gauge people’s level of anime knowledge right anymore, I think. Like if you were an anime fan since the early 2000s, you’d generally know what another anime fan was talking about when they bring up genres like “shonen” or terms like “moe” or whatever. Even if you and that person have seen only a handful of the same anime, you could be on the same wavelength-ish.
Now, I mention offhand in a conversation talking about anime that I’m not super into isekais and get blank looks. Some people don’t even know what I’m talking about when I joke about “shonen filler arcs” or mention “the Big Three” sometimes and it’s just...odd. idk. idk what I want to say here. There’s no thesis, I’m just failing to articulate this weird feeling I have.
I guess that Chainsaw Man is not an anime I would recommend so readily, especially to people new to anime as a whole. I mean, Denji is a funny main character, but telling people that his goal for most of the manga is to have sex and going to insane lengths to do it isn’t really something that I’d be willing to advertise.
I really like it. I think it’s fun and interesting and the visuals of the first episode were fantastic. I’m just not quite sure why this anime has been thrust into the limelight like it has.
Edit: To be fair, The Walking Dead TV show and stuff like The Magnus Archives also exploded in popularity despite being primarily horror-based. I think I’m just glad horror content is on the rise bc it slaps
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bi-sapphics · 2 years
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super weird to me that some blogs are uncomfortable with making pride flag icons for characters that deviate from their canon identity and i'm gonna speak on it. just hear me out first!
i wanna firstly say that i understand their stance from their pov because it's entirely possible that someone would request such a thing for erasure reasons, but it usually isn't like that. it's just as possible (in fact more likely imo) that it's being requested so that someone can vibe with a character they like using their own flags. bisexuals can love catra, lesbians can love luz, in fact i would argue it's more serious erasure to take identity away from a real person by forbidding them from using a character pride icon that doesn't match their own (i'd get blasted if my icon featured catra in front of a lesbian flag because i'm not one?????? hello??).
like............ am i committing lesbian erasure by slapping the bi4bi twibbon on my current icon to match the scene's color palette and share an important aspect of myself relating to my blog's content, or am i required to put the matching les4les flag (if you're curious) on amity's side? or to just have a regular bi & lesbian split flag since lumity is a bi4les pairing? that's ridiculous! you sound ridiculous!
also very weird that you'll offer alternatives to avoid "harmful headcanons" that don't exist in these particular situations, like "oh you can't have a bi amity icon but you can use this trans/nby flag one since that's not confirmed canon!" or "oh but how about this split lumity icon with one bi flag and one sapphic flag?" like, no, if you feel more comfy that way for your own stuff then that's fine, but if i hypothetically want a bisexual amity icon that shouldn't be problematic. if you'd need me to specify my intentions on my profile or something, fine, but y'all are reaching so hard and it's resulting in as much discomfort to innocent ol' me as it is to you for no good reason.
i mention all this because i'm coming across such rules in icon/edit maker blogs i'd like to follow, which reminds me of a bi catra icon incident that happened on my previous old blog that resulted in a block before i got the chance to explain/defend myself. i don't actually want a bi amity icon (right now), that was just a hypothetical example. plus it's hypocritical anyway since i actually do see lesbian luz icons all the goddamn time without consequence, but that doesn't surprise me since any form of "bi erasure" (generally speaking here) is much more accepted online and thrown under the rug. people call her a lesbian all the time and i see tiktok edits of lumity using only the lesbian flag far too often and i think that's something we should be more worried about than someone's personal preferences.
tl;dr - character pride flag icons that deviate from canon aren't necessarily erasure due to them not being about the characters. "you must be x identity to like y character" rules are silly. stop gatekeeping, you're weird.
also if you're confused about any of this, please just ask me and i will clarify because i can guarantee that if you're angry with me you probably just misunderstood. i do not stand for lgbt erasure at all. i just personally don't think these instances are such. i do not wish catra was bi, amity bi, or luz lesbian. i do not disregard canon and change their own identies up. please communicate, it helps us both. thanks.
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protokirby · 4 days
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Art time. I got on my phone and I remembered to get them.
As a reminder, everything I draw while away from home is drawn from memory so even my own au versions of characters might not be completely accurate to how they look in the au in these
Reaper :D
My favorite au Hop. I often draw him sitting like a creature because it's fun but in reality he floats all the time unless he's sick or hugging someone. Rarely in other situations. He dislikes the way it feels for things to touch his hooves. But he would sit like this if he were confined to the ground and/or chose to sit somewhere
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An au Drayton from an au that technically doesn't have any sort of actual name within the multiverse in my head but I call it the alien apocalypse au. Oh and the Hop from that au is there. The Hop in that au is known for being deranged so Drayton is mildly worried
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I tried to draw Kieran from memory- or not quite that. Wanted to draw how he'd look in the alien apocalypse au. Everything is supposed to be the same except for the monster arm and rolled up sleeve where the monster arm is. Why does he look like this someone might ask? I'll talk about that before the next drawing after this.
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Well. Some backstory. In the alien apocalypse au, there are things that float around and anyone who touches those floating things is cursed to become a monster. The floating things aren't creatures, but rather distortions that came from instabilities in the universe. I'm not gonna get into what created those here.
Anyway Drayton looks like a bat monster only after he was cured from his curse. (While cursed, he looked like a complete monster rather than looking like a monster-y human) Except even that isn't really being cured from the curse. That's more just like he was given his humanity back and mostly reverting back to more of a human form.
As for Kieran just having a single monster arm and nothing else. A creature who sees through time told Drayton something about what would happen to anyone who was ever turned into a monster once the apocalypse is over. Nobody else was allowed to know this information because even one person being given the information at all was breaking time laws.
The other people around, including Kieran, all they knew is that Drayton became a monster for a long time and then gained super powers. (At some point, Crispin goes out to touch one of the floaty things to become a monster but I still have yet to draw the way he comes to look in the au. Drayton had not yet been told the secret future information at that time. Oh no)
Kieran really wanted super powers so when he saw one of the floaty things he grabbed it. But Drayton, fully aware of ⭐post-apocalypse consequences⭐ and 🌟cursed individuals fading away in a cloud of polygons once everything is over🌟, used some superpowers exclusive to him while vampire-biting Kieran in the arm that was used to touch the floating thing. (What does Drayton care if he's already going to leave? He at least wants to prevent anyone else from having to leave)
This stopped Kieran from turning into a monster, but the arm will not be saved in the end. Due to the nature of not being cursed all the way, it took him a few days before his arm became monster-y.
Drayton being cursed twice, a thing thought impossible, is not going to end well.
Kieran was of course mad at first. But after Drayton fled, the time traveler decided it would be best to let Kieran know what's in store for people with curses. (Under no circumstances is that information to be told to anyone else though so Carmine and a few other people would still be enraged that Drayton seemed to be gatekeeping the superpowers)
But like- months later, when Drayton returned to where everyone else was with a changed appearance from being cursed twice, Kieran admitted to Drayton that he felt really bad. The two of them begin to get along and are best friends from then on in the au. (Until Drayton and everyone else who was ever fully cursed disappears that is. Then Kieran will lose a few friends)
Anyhoo.
Art finally. If you cared to read all the info.
Kieran is taking a nap and Drayton might also be taking a nap just standing up. Probably tired from fighting aliens
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He has a tail now. Also now he has soft fur described as "like a minccino" by this au's Kieran.
More bat. I wasn't really thinking about what kind of facial expression I wanted to go for with him but with the arms I wanted to draw him doing a stretch.
But it didn't match the face so to me it looks like his yawn got interrupted by the sound of an alien attack. Or perhaps he's forgetting his shoulders have spikes on them now that he's been cursed twice and it's an unexpected ouchie when he just wanted to stretch
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Beast au Drayton now.
Beast au Drayton usually doesn't show emotion. Usually keeps a blank face 24/7. But I drew this based on an imagination story where he got so violently upset at something that he is showing anger and sadness all at once. (An evil monster who has given him trauma his entire life was finally revealed and he is ready to destroy)
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All right, cute floofy 9-tailed moth fox. Be happy now :D
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gettothestabbing · 4 months
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What are your top 5 favorite anime?
Princess Tutu - gorgeous in every way, a story that does the concept of a multilayered narrative justice while also using the beauty of ballet and fairy tales to their full emotional advantages, and also the name helps gatekeep, because if you can't get past the name you aren't the sort of person who would enjoy it anyway. I can't recommend it highly enough. Available here
Kill la Kill - amazing and energetic animation, a unique story with a surprising family theme, and probably the coolest modern take on the delinquent girl archetype. I did resist watching it at first because of the lack of under-boob support on Ryuko's outfit, but honestly, it no longer bothers me. There are valid story reasons behind all the costume designs. Again, this has the beneficial side-effect of automatic gatekeeping. Available here
Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters - peak early 2000s character design, tons of merchandising money to fund legitimately good filler arcs and hire high quality animation directors (sometimes), a hero that actually has the worst win-loss record of all the protagonists of his franchise (but still retains the largest fanbase and greatest admiration for his skills and personal character), multiple engaging character arcs, and my personal favorite. This is the one most affected by nostalgia. YGO was my first fandom outside of Disney, the first thing I was really into that neither my parents nor my younger sister cared about, and it remains incredibly important to me. It took me 10 years to be able to watch the final two seasons, as my local channel for some reason decided to only play the first 2.5 seasons over and over. Those final seasons were not at all disappointing either; I loved them entirely, even with all their flaws and animation issues. I'd never claim that YGO is perfect, especially since I prefer the 4Kids dub to the original; yet even the subbed version, which I have also seen, has issues as a story. The original manga is superior to BOTH versions, if we're being honest. But this anime is amazing, fun, wholesome (without being lame, particularly the sub; the dub can be pretty lame) and long without being impossible to finish. The dub is available here (w, x, y, z), but to get the subbed version, you either have to pay through the nose or search the bowels of the Internet. Might as well try the dub: even if you don't like 4Kids, you can have fun laughing at them, and all the changes the dub made were meticulously catalogued here.
Dragon Ball - one of the best shonen ever, with an amazing world, strong characters that stay simple without being simpletons, and a slow, savory pace that makes every fight pop. I binged the entire (subbed) show in March 2020 when I had to stay home during the initial lockdown. It was exactly the cheery, grounded, fun shot in the arm that I needed when things were still uncertain and scary in my world. While I enjoy Z and parts of Super, the original is far better: more consistent in quality, pacing, and relevant themes. It's here and here right now. If you're already a fan, Totally Not Mark has some huge video essays reviewing both the entire franchise arc-by-arc and analyzing the major characters of the franchise. (The Buu arc review features Team Four Star ^_^)
Akage no Anne - one of the best works of World Masterpiece Theater and directed by future Studio Ghibli director Isao Takahata; a picture-perfect adaptation of Anne of Green Gables made for Japanese ESL education that managed to capture the pace, feelings, and gradual growth of its cast. With dreamy sequences to represent Anne's imagination and mirror the long descriptive passages of the book, the series grounds itself with simple and realistic character designs that change slowly over the course of the series to reflect the passing of time. It's from 1979, so it's even less fancy looking than Dragon Ball (1986), and Anne's initial design looks a bit awkward since she's pretty awkward and underfed at the start. But don't be fooled. Not only is this the closest adaptation I've seen to the book, but it manages to reflect Anne's rich, emotional inner world without relying on narration or a diary. It uses silence in a very mature way. Although Akage no Anne was not at all the beginning of Japan's love affair with Anne Shirley, it has become a cornerstone of that fandom in Japan. And if you love Isao Takahata's work like I do, seeing one of his earliest works is a pure joy. It's actually available on YouTube; this version has been up for 7 years straight, but I'd urge anyone interested to watch it sooner rather than later. You never know when a YT anime playlist will disappear.
Honorable Mention: Maison Ikkoku - this is one of my favorite manga, one I liked enough to collect in full and read multiple times. The anime is beautiful, and unlike some adaptations of Rumiko's work, it doesn't delve into alternate characterizations or themes. It's an iconic 1980s anime and I love what I've seen of it. But I can't put it higher because I've never been able to see all of it. Occasionally I've been able to watch episodes on YouTube with French subs, but I'm not fluent in French, so I only know what's going on because I'm so familiar with the manga. I still recommend it as a mature seinen romance/comedy. If anyone knows where I can watch or legally obtain it, I'd be very grateful.
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bossuets · 1 year
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Hi, it's me again. First of all, I wanted to say thank you for taking the time to reply and that it's absolutely fine it took you a while, it's a heavy topic. And while I understand it's hard to talk about and it makes people uncomfortable - people can draw boundaries, of course, I feel this need to talk about her, keep her memory alive, and it's easier to do that with people who don't know me (because I'm known as someone who doesn't talk about their feelings ever) and with people who went through the same experience as I did.
She wasn't always a good friend. She was weird about boys in the way 15-year-old girls are weird about boys at that age (I was too but I think that was maybe part of me not having figured out yet I was Not Straight) - she had a weird, older boyfriend who was super sketchy and I always was weirded out her mother let her and her sister date these kinds of guys. She was very gatekeep-y about her favourite musicians but when we had long drives ahead of us we always shared headphones and listened to her array of rap songs. We used to watch a lot of horror movies but the movie she played to fall asleep was Kung Fu Panda, she always fell asleep within the first five minutes. Her favourite colour was pink, I didn't remember that and she always used to dress pretty alternatively so I'm guessing it was a recent thing, an adult her thing, and we were asked to wear pink to her funeral and it felt both very fitting and not. They played her favourite song at her funeral and it broke me, it must have hurt her mum even more because it was a song by her favourite artist who paid tribute to a friend who committed suicide and it mentions her mother's name. She committed suicide because of a boy she dated or didn't date anymore and that's such a her thing and it makes sense and it makes me so so so angry. I've only visited her grave twice and one of those times was at her funeral.
I can't remember many things about her and part of that is because we were best friends but best friends in the way you're best friends with someone you're sharing most classes with since you were eleven, part of it is that I only knew her for eight years and I didn't know her at all since we turned eighteen and there are so many things that happened in those next six years that I'll never know about. I don't want to talk to her family because we hadn't talked in years and I don't want them to think I only care about her now that she's dead.
She taught me to take better care of my friends, that's not the right phrase but we ask each other more often if we're fine and if we mean it. I'll forever feel guilty about not having been able to prevent this - I had often thought about reaching out to her but it felt too weird, too out of nowhere, to connect with someone I hadn't spoken to in over five years, and especially after our fight (which was such a stupid fight, I hate that she went thinking awful things about me, about us, if she even thought about me at all) - even though I literally couldn't have noticed because of the not-speaking-with-each-other part.
I still don't think I'm allowed to grieve her. I can't believe she's gone and I'm still here.
I'm sorry I dumped this all on you, like I said, there's this need to speak about her, and while you said you'd be here for that I understand if this is too much. With that being said it felt good to let this all out, I feel a little lighter!
I know it's different for you because you'd put it all out in the open, publicly, with your name/face attached to it but if you want to talk about your friend as well, I'm here - and so will many others be ❤️
suicide tw
i totally get preferring to talk about it without attaching your name, so you are more than welcome to remain on anon and talk about her whenever you like. in my experience, losing someone this way is particularly isolating because it’s like everyone thinks they can’t talk to you about it or you’ll fall apart. when in reality, it’s the not talking about it that does more damage. i am really glad you feel lighter having sent this message. there is absolutely no need to apologize.
my best friend loved fruit snacks and yoohoo drinks; he used to hide them under his bed so his family wouldn’t take them all. he built model planes & ships and his favorite childhood movie was the iron giant. he played the saxophone and fell asleep in class all the time and i was mad at him for so long that i’m still learning how not to be. i sat in the front row of his funeral and tried so hard not to cry because the girl next to me was a year younger and i was trying to comfort her. i cried anyway. his favorite color was green and he always wore polo shirts and this tan jacket with a pen mark on the sleeve from some funny little thing that happened between us in seventh period. i love him more than anything.
i’m still figuring out how to talk about losing him, how to talk about the way it reshaped every piece of me. it turned me into the “text me when you get home” friend, the always-checking-in friend, the “i’m here if you need anything” friend. he made me kinder, but he also made sadder and more afraid, you know? he brought so much good into my life and so much bad, too. i’m still learning to reconcile all that.
i felt so much guilt for so long after he passed. it devoured me. i was so sure that it was my fault. it took so long for me to realize that it wasn’t. we were children. i was a child. i couldn’t save him. i’m still teaching myself this & granting myself forgiveness and compassion. i hope that you can learn to do the same. this wasn’t your fault.
thank you again for messaging me. i’m glad i get to know your friend a bit, even if she’s gone. and i’m honored that you shared her with me. i am sending you the biggest, warmest hug. thank you.
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ericaiseul · 1 year
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Idk I just really vibe with people who know loss and trauma and grief. It sounds super dark and demented but if you get it, you get it. Im here for people who have been through the shit and who have come out on the other side (or are even still going through it- tbh i am). And when i find someone who says something under their breath about how the holidays are hard or being alone, I look at them with instant kinship. My heart instantly warms to them. Not in pity. Never in pity. But instead in understanding.
I dont understand people who have not felt loss, and im sincerely glad that they have not. Im not here to gatekeep, like what is loss and grief anyway but a series of chemicals in your brain. But when I tell someone that sometimes I just need to lay in bed all day and they offer X and say I just need to Y. I just nod and think, you dont really understand me at all.
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