"My fear of being real, of being seen, paralyzes me into silence. I crave the touch and the connection, but l'm not always brave enough to open my hand and reach out. This is the great challenge: to be seen, accepted, and loved, I must first reveal, offer, and surrender.”
Anna White, Mended: Thoughts on Life, Love, and Leaps of Faith.
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Being understood only by the very one who's hunting you down.
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"I see you.
I see your light, Little Star.
Even when you thought it had been all but snuffed out, surrounded by the suffocating darkness…
It prevailed.
You prevailed.
The endless nights and pain may have threatened to consume you,
and even as lost as your shine may have seemed, it still there, proven to be stronger than the stifling void.
And it is the most beautiful thing to have witnessed."
-------
The words eccho in your head. You've flipped and tossed them around in there until they've almost lost their meaning.
But you defeatedly recognize the truth in them. You had felt it.
Even though you wanted to convince yourself that you could only be seen as a ravenous monster, that you had no welcome place among the living.
So it seemed.. easier to just forget about this… light. To stove it away, forget it, smother it.
So its' whispers of hope and compassion couldn't reach your unbeating heart anymore.
But a part of you knew it had still clung onto you.
No matter how you tried to thwart it, stove it away to never be found again, it refused to be extinguished.
Not even as your sins grew to insurmountable amounts.
Your sins… or were they?
You feel like you're in a haze, your mind obscured by a contorting torrent of steaming fog, where relentless flame meets unyielding ice.
So many nights you had cursed it. That it had dared to linger on amidst your torment, only making it that much more agonizing to endure.
So many nights you had wished it had at long last succumbed, only to find it reminding you of its stubborness by sending dull pangs through your chest.
You had screamed, begged it to just finally die, so you could find some resemblence of a peace of mind.
Because without it there would be no more guilt and doubt,
no more grief, despair or fear
and no more…
love?
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"I see you.
I see your light, Little Star.
Even when you thought it had been all but snuffed out, surrounded by the suffocating darkness…
It prevailed.
You prevailed.
The endless nights and pain may have threatened to consume you,
and even as lost as your shine may have seemed, it still there, proven to be stronger than the stifling void.
And it is the most beautiful thing to have witnessed."
-------
The words eccho in your head. You've flipped and tossed them around in there until they've almost lost their meaning.
But you defeatedly recognize the truth in them. You had felt it.
Even though you wanted to convince yourself that you could only be seen as a ravenous monster, that you had no welcome place among the living.
So it seemed.. easier to just forget about this… light. To stove it away, forget it, smother it.
So its' whispers of hope and compassion couldn't reach your unbeating heart anymore.
But a part of you knew it had still clung onto you.
No matter how you tried to thwart it, stove it away to never be found again, it refused to be extinguished.
Not even as your sins grew to insurmountable amounts.
Your sins… or were they?
You feel like you're in a haze, your mind obscured by a contorting torrent of steaming fog, where relentless flame meets unyielding ice.
So many nights you had cursed it. That it had dared to linger on amidst your torment, only making it that much more agonizing to endure.
So many nights you had wished it had at long last succumbed, only to find it reminding you of its stubborness by sending dull pangs through your chest.
You had screamed, begged it to just finally die, so you could find some resemblence of a peace of mind.
Because without it there would be no more guilt and doubt,
no more grief, despair or fear
and no more…
love?
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What's love if not a waiting to be seen?
Light of Love, Florence and the Machine// Nature poem in ‘when i grow up i want to be a list of further possibilities’, Chen Chen// Corruption: Poems, Camille Norton//House of the Dragon (2022-)
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Getting tagged in a meme that is absolutely and pointedly Your Vibe is a profound expression of
💕💖💞 Love 💞💖💕
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Instagram: laceypaigepoetry
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Gemini & Scorpio in Big 3
An attempt to ruth incongruity
Is a heavy existence worth its weight in ecstatic intensity?
Could a soul just as easily chose a less inimical vessel?
Being that one is a soul, rather than has a soul, and that each soul is given absolute free reign of design,
Why would one such soul willfully prefer a life
As a technicolor winged insect
Who barely breaks the surface tension of the lake, and yet also manages to sink to the bottom in stone boots
How would one even begin to interpret, let alone perceive, a creature born of, and to, paradox for paradoxes’ sake
They are light, brightening, and hopeful. They gleefully skim and tread curiously
They too are dampening, brooding, descending, and depth-full; perpetually afraid to drown
(They have never drown)
They are more afraid of not being truly understood than not being loved quite as well as they could’ve been
The latter situation is tragic, the former is doomed
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I wanted to reblog and comment on a thing about online privacy and how it is good to not share anything personal online and keep your opinions to yourself because it just sets you up to be "consumed" by others and judged for what amounts to a mere snapshot of your life and mood...
And then I realized where I was reblogging it from and thought the better of it because of... the exact thing I found myself commenting about in the reblog. The irony of it struck me, so I screenshotted my tags.
The human condition is, to me, about always being more than others can swallow. I don't think I am unique in that. I genuinely think that is part of what it means to be human.
And whether you choose to hide yourself from others, so you never have to deal with "being consumed" and never find yourself being spit out for your bitter bits... or you put yourself out there like a buffet, desperate for anyone, anyone to take a bite and affirm that you are palatable... or you carve and carve at yourself until everything you perceive as undesirable has been rejected and repressed... it comes down to the same thing.
Deep down, we all want to be loved as we are, and not be rejected.
And yet, aren't we terrible at loving others like that?
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It seems like I’m not even able to be vulnerable with myself. I don’t look at my naked body when I pass a mirror getting changed or getting out of the shower, I can’t be vulnerable that with a mind I know will judge me. There is no intimacy to be had between my mind and body, no understanding or love for the other.
And that is yet another reason why I hate being seen. Being seen is vulnerable and I hate that in entirety. Those eyes looking at all of me, breathing me in and dictating me, even when I can only tolerate small parts of myself at a time. It’s a cruel thought, it’s a cruel world.
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feeling 91w in this random bunker we found
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