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#being nonbinary
lilbasthet · 2 years
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Charlie is taking selfies with the mask on to look less whatever people think their gender is! I feel so seen!
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inkskinned · 7 months
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what is with men being mad any time a woman raises her voice where did that even come from. someone posted a video of a small electrical explosion, and the top comment was of course the woman screams. the second comment is women try not to scream challenge, level impossible. i had to go back and watch the video again. there is, somewhat fainty, a little gasp emitted off-camera, more of a yelp than a scream. it is mostly lost in the crack of the explosion. afterwards, you hear her voice, shaken, say, are you okay?
i am helping one of my friends train her voice pitch lower, because she wants to be taken seriously at work. she and i do each other's nails and talk about gender roles; and how - due to our appearance - neither of us have ever been able to be "hysterical" in public. we both appear young and sweet and feminine. she is cisgender, and cannot use her natural voice in her profession because people keep saying she appears to be "vapid". we both try to figure out if our purposeful voice lowering is technically sexist. is it promoting something when you are a victim to it?
a storm almost sends a pole through a car window. in the dashcam, you can hear the woman passenger say her partner's name twice, crying out in alarm. she sounds terrified. in the comments, she is lambasted for her lack of calm. how is that even fucking helping?
in high school, i taught myself to have a lower voice. i had been recorded when i was genuinely (and righteously) upset; and i hated how my voice sounded on the phone speakers when it was played back. i was defending my mom, and my voice cracked with emotion. it meant i was no longer winning the argument: i was just shrieking about it.
girls meet each other after a long summer and let out a little joyful scream. this usually stops around 12-14, because people will not tolerate this display of affection (as it has the effect of being passingly annoying). something about the fact that little girls can't ever even be annoying. we are trained to examine each part of our lives (even joy) for anything that could make us upsetting and disgusting. they act like teenage girls are breaking into houses and shrieking you awake at 3 in the morning. speaking as a public school educator: trust me, it's not that bad, you can just roll your eyes and move on. it does not compare to the ways boys end up being annoying: slurs in graffiti, purposefully mocking your body, following you after you said no. you know, just boy things.
there's another video of a man who is not allowed to yell in the house, so he snaps his fingers when he's excited about soccer. the comments are full of angry men, talking about how their brother is unfairly caged. let him express himself and this is terrible to do to someone. eventually the couple has to address it in a second video: they are married with a newborn baby. he was trying not to wake the infant up. there is no comment on the fact women are not allowed to yell indoors. or the fact that it could have been really alarming or triggering for his wife. sometimes i wonder if straight men even like women, if they even enjoy being in relationships with them.
for the longest time, i hated roller coasters because it always felt inappropriate and uncomfortable for me to scream. one of my friends called me on it, said it was unusual i'm so unwilling. i had to go to my therapist about it. i don't like to scream because i was not raised in a safe situation, and raising my voice would have brought unsafe attention towards me. even when i am supposed to scream, it feels shameful, guilty. i was not treated kindly, so i lack a basic form of self-protection. this is not a natural response. it is not good that in a situation of high adrenaline - i shut up about it.
something very bad is happening, i think. in between all the beauty standards and the stuff i've already discussed - this one feels new and cruel in a way i can't quite express. yes, it's scary and silencing. but there's something about how direct it is - that so many men agree with the sentiment that women should never yell, even in an emergency - it feels different.
is the word shriek gendered automatically? how about shrill or screech? in self defense class, one of the first things they tell you is to yell, as loud and as shrilly as you can. they say it will feel rude. most women will not do this. you need to practice overcoming the social pressure and just scream.
most women do not cry out, even when it's bad. we do not report it. we walk faster. we do not make a scene. what would be the point of doing anything else? no matter what we do, we don't get taken seriously. it is a joke to them. an instagram caption punchline. we have to present ourselves as silent, beautiful, captivating - "valuable."
a woman is outside watching her kids when someone throws a firecracker at them. she screams and runs towards her children. in the comments, grown men flock together in the thousands: god. women are so annoying.
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lauraisconfused · 5 months
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whilomm · 1 month
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ppl of tumblr:
(to clarify: if youre like say "girl but with wiggly hand gesture" but 100% sure of that that would be "yea i got it 👍", vagueness of gender itself/descriptors are not whats being asked for here, just like how much u feel Certain about it. also, should be obvious but cis ppl feel free to vote, whether cis or "cis" or "...cis?")
if u feel like it: put your gender plus sureness, how you feel about your personal level of sureness, and your favorite bug in the tags
reblog to see the lil button turn green which is a nice color
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oldbookshop · 5 months
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thinking abt how david tenant's nonbinary kid will grow up with a doctor who that is unashamedly inclusive of trans people. they'll see their dad on TV with a trans girl who saves the world.
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emotinalsupportturtle · 5 months
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neil gaiman and RTD are absolute legends for being the showrunners of 2 mainstream shows funded by large production companies in the year 2023, and proceeding to make the most queer positive episodes ever seen by man
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meanwhile david tennant is just vibrating with joy because he gets more opportunities to wear his one-thousand-and-twenty-four pride pins
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gay-otlc · 5 months
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Labels aren't perfect! Sexuality is complicated! You can do whatever you want forever!
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ratboy · 1 year
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I love u tboys I love u trans men I love u transmasc nb ppl I love u transmascs who can't or don't want to take HRT I love u ass hair I love u hairy arms and legs I love u wispy mustaches and beards I love u fat transmasc bodies I love u "tboy voices" I love u receding hairlines I love u transmascs who pass for cis I love u transmascs who won't ever pass I love u top surgery scars I love u transmasc chests I love u no-op, pre-op, and post-op transmascs I love u transmascs!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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bleakbluejay · 3 months
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being nonbinary can be frustrating because people will either force you into the binary (insisting on called trans fems girls and trans mascs boys, for example. kings. queens. etc), OR they will force you out of it (not allow you to call yourself a boy, girl, etc). god forbid you identify as something like a nonbinary lesbian ("how can you be a lesbian if you aren't a girl then??" well because it's my gender and sexuality and i get to choose how i feel about it and how they interact with each other :3). god forbid you use traditionally binary pronouns like he or she instead of they or xe, or keep your gendered birth name.
they want to render down the infinite experiences of nonbinary people into a single identifiable third gender and it just doesn't work that way.
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gay-fae · 2 years
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hey shout out of recognition and validation to all the queer people who didn’t exhibit many queer behaviors or have queer many experiences when they were young!! shout out to trans women and trans men who didn’t feel bad about or uncomfortable with their AGAB when they were younger and didn’t gravitate toward the “opposite side of things”. shout out to nonbinary and genderfluid ppl who felt content with their AGAB all of their childhood or even teen and adults years. shout out to lesbians who didn’t have any crushes on girls growing up and liked traditionally feminine things and shout out to gay men who didn’t have any crushes on boys growing up and liked traditionally masculine things. shout out to bi and pan and omni people who only had hetero attractions growing up. shout out to aros and aces who thought they experienced crushes or attraction or whatever while growing up and didn’t feel excluded by being surrounded by allo people. shout out to literally any queer people who didn’t “show the signs” growing up because that can make you feel invalidated or worried that you’re faking it and you shouldn’t feel worried about that! When we say that everyone’s journey and experience is different, that includes you!! Happy pride month <3
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not-rab · 8 months
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James: Why do baby clothes have pockets when they have no money or goals?
Regulus: Why does Barty have pockets when he has no money or goals?
Barty: I didnt even say anything what-
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inkskinned · 1 month
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okay if you're really cool about things, i can be honest with you. before you read further, decide if you're a girl's girl. if you're cool and actually cool or like not cool.
men don't talk in my book because i was fuckken tired of the way they're the center of every fucking story. i was tired of how every story takes a moment to let them talk. men can shut up for literally one fucking book.
unfortunately not everyone is cool. professionally what i usually say is i didn't want to add violence to the world. the only men in my book are abusers, so they don't get to talk. they don't get to take up space. they ruined my life, they don't get to have their words echo anymore.
because like, yeah! you find practically any story about a person surviving trauma and... there's a man at the center. men are often rescuing us from these things. a "good man" is always standing around, being a good man, proving to the victim that good men are the real men. that her experience was unique rather than universal.
the redacted text has not been taken well by all of my early readers. there is this weird, crouching growl that keeps occurring with men-of-a-certain-age. why don't we hear his side of the story?
when i sat down to write everything that happened to me, i couldn't look at the frank brutality of my abuser's words on a page and think to myself: i actually let him speak like that. i had to redact his words from the manuscript. i then left it redacted. no victim is going to read this book and hear the person who hurt them. it is a book for the victims to speak. abusers shut up challenge, forever. for eternity.
my father once told me, chuckling, i should just have a page of redaction where i let the man just finally talk. it is funny to joke about how we should make a whole page in my book about a man that hurt me. this was not the only time someone commented - it feels like you're hiding things. how do i know you're actually a victim if he doesn't get to speak?
there are books where women aren't even present. i even genuinely like some of those books. like, who doesn't like the hobbit?
i keep running into people defending this imaginary man. the default narrative is so true to some people that they will defend any man, just by virtue of the assumption - "if he's acting like that, you had to push him." certain people need definitive proof that you didn't accidentally make your partner into an abuser. they need to decide if you deserved it, because they want to be able to judge you.
which makes sense, i guess, from a hind brain perspective. if you can figure out "why" someone was cruel, you can protect yourself against it. if you defend the bully, the bully might side with you. i don't really know their explanation for feeling this about a character in a book. trust me, i wrote the guy. he is not going to protect you.
i guess i just - there was a time in my life where i desperately wanted anyone to defend me. where i could have really used someone saying holy shit are you okay instead of what did you say to make him act like that to you.
instead, over dinner, a friend-of-a-friend i just met is pouring herself wine. i heard you wrote a book, she says. she gives me the kind of chilly smile i associate with knives. i heard it's unfair to men.
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imperial-agent · 7 months
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The one you gravitate towards the first time playing any cRPGs. Included Pillars of Eternity races and Divinity Original Sin ones.
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future-crab · 3 months
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It's been said before, it will be said again, but it's still worth saying: the fact that art centering on straight romance is allowed to just be bad, but art with queer romance in it always has to be indicative of A Serious Problem With the Way We Tell Queer Stories makes being a queer person making queer art deeply stressful
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uncanny-tranny · 2 months
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I recall saying this before, but it bears repeating:
There could be a billion trans people in the world and it still wouldn't be a bad thing because being trans is not a bad thing. Even if the rate of people discovering they are trans is "disproportionate" to trends from decades ago, that is not a bad thing. In fact, it's a natural consequence for there being more trans people being able to stay alive, and, overall, being able to live in a slightly more tolerant world. You'd only see that as a bad thing if you actively didn't want trans people to either live or live a life that facilitates wellness.
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"you're confused about your gender" newsflash girlypop I've got autism EVERYTHING confuses me. gender's not special
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