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#being completely transparent the numbers and notes got to me in those two months
sunshinetoshi · 3 years
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impulsively changed my desktop theme instead of sLEEPING oops i really like it but idk if that's the messed up body clock talking so i will look at it again when i wake up 🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️💓💓
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stillness-in-green · 3 years
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Thoughts on Chapter 314 (and surrounding events)
Being a loose summary of several things I thought about in relation to the leaks, what they say about the series as a whole, a bit of new operating headcanon on the Peerless Thief, and a dash of how fandom is responding to the revelations. Spoilers, obviously.
This chapter makes it quite clear that the HPSC absolutely would have gone in and eliminated the PLF quietly, lethally, and wholly unlawfully if Hawks hadn't reported back the numbers that he did. The only reason the raid involved non-Commission-affiliated heroes at all is because the PLF's manpower was simply too much for the Commission to deal with via their usual methods. I'm both appalled that the disregard for human rights in HeroAca Land is somehow even worse than I thought it was and smug that that tiny little piece I recently posted criticizing the PLF's treatment has turned out to be totally justified and supported by the canon.[1] (Note that this does not absolve Horikoshi of the responsibility to, himself, treat the PLF better than paper dolls tossed into the incinerator of Plot Irrelevance when they cease being convenient to his story.) The fact that the Commission was forced to involve heroes might mean Re-Destro, Mr. Compress and the others are somewhat safer than might otherwise be the case. Because of the involvement of the unsuspecting stooges law-abiding heroes, and because the botched raid became such a huge disaster, there’s far more public scrutiny on this than would otherwise be the case. Of course, "accidents" can still happen,[2] especially in a chaotic environment, but the factors above (combined with Clone!RD murdering the bejeezus out of the Lady Prez) do, I think, suggest that there probably isn't an organized push for quick solutions going on behind closed doors.
I don't think Nagant has been around for a terribly long time or that there was an uptick in vigilantism in recent years—I think the scene where she mentions vigilantes becoming accepted as heroes is just in reference to the early history of heroism. It's in keeping with what Tsukauchi Makoto described in Vigilantes, and forms the basis of the current system—the current system that Nagant was a single cog in a big machine grinding away to preserve.
Speaking of Nagant and the system, it's interesting to me that one of the groups Nagant apparently targeted at the HPSC's behest was corrupt heroes—those who colluded with villains or specifically goaded/incited civilians into using their quirks illegally, thus turning civilians into capital-V Villains in the eyes of the law. One might easily say that targeting corrupt heroes (albeit using a much broader definition of "corrupt") was Stain's whole shtick, but it actually puts me more in mind of the Peerless Thief, Harima Oji. Harima punished greedy or corrupt heroes with theft, and presumably with a measure of declaration and exposure,[3] then distributed their money back to the streets. Someone who ridicules those who abuse their power, and gets away with it for long enough to build a reputation: that right there is a recipe for a folk hero. The HPSC, in whatever form they existed at the time, obviously couldn't let that go on—such repeated humiliations would weaken peoples’ faith in (and obedience to) the system the HPSC was trying to build. At the same time, though, it would also weaken faith in the system to openly acknowledge that system's flaws, to acknowledge that some pretty awful people had found their way into the heroics business specifically for the power and ability to abuse it that the title of Hero afforded them. Public trials would make it a matter of record that some heroes—and, accordingly, heroes at large—did not deserve the public's unquestioning faith. Obviously in a system that was built from the ground up on faith, that was unacceptable. And so Harima was branded a supervillain for exposing the system's flaws, while the corrupt heroes who embodied those flaws to begin with were—and continue to be—quietly disposed of at the HPSC’s discretion.
There's a lot of talk around about how Lady Nagant is stupid, or hypocritical, or delusional, or whatever other dismissive adjective people want to use, because she expresses a preference for AFO's rule over the HPSC's. Firstly, I think it's dubious Lit Crit to fault a character for not being a Paragon of Rationality, especially when they're under the cascading stressors Nagant has been under since she was, what, 13? 14? Forced to live this dichotomy of smiling gallant hero and ruthless covert assassin, had her life threatened by the man who'd taken her in,[4] probably dumped in Tartarus until such time as her trial could be held,[5] and kept in those ghastly, dehumanizing conditions for who knows how long? How shocking, that her objectivity might be somewhat compromised! Secondly, it's not like she's saying that AFO's rule would be a sunny walk in the park. The kanji she uses doesn't even mean "better"; while it can mean serene or tranquil, her more likely meaning is clear/transparent. Her phrasing indicates that she's aware it would be pretty bad; she's simply of the opinion that at least his rule wouldn't be a sham, a pretty lie. It would be bad, but everyone would know it. No one would have these comforting illusions they could lose at any time; if you stepped out of line and got shot in the head by an assassin, well, at least you would probably know you that being defiant was running that risk, rather than never seeing it coming because you'd been told all your life that Heroes Didn't Do That To People. Again, this is a woman whose life was shattered no less than three times by the duplicity of the highest acting authority in this comic.[6] She doesn't have to be Objectively Correct By The Standards Of Ethical Utilitarianism—nor do you have to agree with her choice that because she doesn’t want to live in the Matrix, no one else should get to either—for her opinion to make sense from her own perspective! Thirdly, while I think it's fair to say that the HPSC and AFO actually use fairly similar methods to recruit followers and punish dissenters, we have no idea how much Nagant herself knows about AFO's recruitment tactics other than her own brief experience of it. And while AFO is a controlling and manipulative bastard, at least in his case it's coming from a man who openly styles himself as a Demon King, not an organization positioning itself as lawful regulators of the protectors of society at large while secretly training child soldiers to flagrantly violate every law protecting the human rights and due process of that society's people.
Overhaul's presence is delightful, and yes, he is a victim of Hero Society, if only because Hero Society could have put him in some kind of prison-based rehab facility after Shigaraki was through with him, but chose to dispose of him in Tartarus instead, for absolutely no justifiable cause. I suspect it's only due to Horikoshi not being very interested in the harsh realities of the trauma caused by enforced isolation[7] that Overhaul is the only Tartarus escapee that talks to himself and has dissociated from reality almost completely. Overhaul's maiming was not the fault of Hero Society, nor did Hero Society force him to torture Eri and repeatedly commit cold-blooded murder. But his madness? Yeah, I'm pretty comfortable laying that one at Hero Society's feet, actually. I can’t wait for Deku to have to face the victim that Chisaki Kai has become due to levels of systemic cruelty and negligence that really ought to be criminal—and which, if this were real life, would be.
--------Lately, footnotes are really popular with us!--------
[1] Lady Nagant: *talks about how the Hero Society everyone believes in is illusory, a thin fake over a brutal reality, and that returning to the false simplicity of that status quo will only cause history to repeat itself* Me, two weeks ago: Hero Society will never stop creating its own villains so long as, every time it fails people, it does nothing but shrug and write off the victims as unavoidable, inevitable sacrifices for the greater good.
[2] Yes, I'm still highly suspicious of the "Destro committed suicide in prison" claim.
[3] Compress tells us Harima “preached reformation,” but regardless, you don’t dress up in a modified kabuki costume and waltz midair through nighttime cityscapes raining cash out of the sky if you’re trying to keep your activities a secret.
[4] And her family situation couldn't have been much better than Hawks', if she was targeted by the HPSC to begin with. I would guess she was an orphan in the childcare system, easy to move from whatever alternative care arrangement she was in, be it an orphanage, a group home, or simply mature enough despite her relative youth that she lived alone on government support payments—that kind of thing isn't as unbelievable in Japan as it is in the U.S.—to the HPSC's care.
[5] And given what we learned between this chapter and 297, I doubt she was even allowed to be present for it. Japanese law states that everyone by default is supposed to be present for their own trial, but as in the U.S, that right can be waived if the defendant proves themselves to be a threat to the safety of the judge, court staff and other attendees. And of course, what a threat the HPSC could have painted her as being!
[6] At least until Hori deigns to show us a damn Diet session.
[7] To say nothing of the physical consequences of spending six months stuck in a tiny room with no natural light while frequently being strapped into a straitjacket, of which there should also be several.
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The Baker And Her Actor Part II!
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The Baker And Her Actor: part II: [The Dog Park]
Paring: Chris Evans x Black Fem!Reader
Summary: You meet Chris while making a house delivery for the Evans. He can’t get you off his mind, and to be honest you can’t either.
Warnings: profanity, sexual content, angst, but overall fluff!
Notes: I hope you guys enjoy! If you have request feel free to share those!!
Previous Part(s): Part(s) --> (1)
—-
Y/n’ Point Of View:
You wake up to the moist kisses your dog Haneli places all around the surface of your face.
The best way to wake up.
“Hey girl, good morning baby.” You say petting her thick fur.
You play with your pup entertaining her for awhile in your bedroom, practicing tricks and just goofing around.
“Hey wanna go to the dog park today?” You ask Hanlei as if she’d respond.
Even though she couldn’t talk you could tell by the way her eyes lit up she was fond of the idea.
You walk toward you small closet, reaching up to find something cozy to wear.
You decide on a pair of navy blue adidas leggings a black long sleeve you probably got from a thrift shop a puffer jacket and black scarf to cozy up in.
“Okay you ready?” You ask your pup
She wags her tail in agreement.
You grab her collar and clip on her leash brushing over her fur once more before locking the door to your loft apartment.
It was another beautiful fall Boston day. The way the leaves had turned a shade of pumpkin orange and fiery red, the scenery of the small town never seized to impress you.
You reach the dog park unhooking Haneli from her leash, pulling out a bag of her treats.
You thought to take this time to continue to work on tricks and commands with her.
 Seeing she was only 6 months old and almost as big as you, you thought commands would be necessary.
“Okay Haneli, circle me.’ You can do it girl, circle me.” You command holding her favorite treats in your palm.
Just like that she circles you twice, you throw her two treats. You watch her race to get her treats.
Playing with Haneli you couldn't help but recap on last nights events. 
You just couldn't wrap your head around why Scott Evans, of all people would not only follow you, but lurk on you page liking pictures from over 2 years ago.
Was Chris apart of this? 
You couldn't help but think it, I mean it was a possibility right? 
Unlikely.
You snap out of your thought when you laid eyes on your now bored 6 month old golden retriever. She wagged her tail waiting patiently to go at it again.
“Sorry girl, let’s go again. Circle me, c’mon you can do it.” You encourage.
You amazed at how flawlessly she executed the trick, bending down you give her the treat in one hand while petting her in the other.
“That was a good trick.”
The voice startled you. You stumble back a little clutching your chest
“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to scare you. I just noticed you and wanted to say hello.” Chris apologized
He looked amazing, how can a man look so good but so simple.
He even had on the grey sweatpants.
“Oh it’s no big deal, I scare easy anyway.” You giggle attempting to relieve some of the nervous tension.
Haneli interrupt,  breaking her way through your legs.  You watch as she makes her way over to whom you assume is the dodger Kiara had told you about. You both watch mesmerize as your dogs interact, doing what they do best, sniffing one another.
“So cute.” You say breaking this silence.
“Right!’ What’s your dogs name?” Chris asks.
“Her names Haneli.” You blurt
“Haneli, I like it.” Chris compliments.
You wondered how he knew it was you from afar. I mean the way you stood versus the way he approached, it was strange he instantly knew it was you.
Was it because He and Scott were potentially cyber stalking you the previous night.
Just ask him, be bold.
“So, how did you know it was me if my back was toward you?” You question head hung low.
“Your hair, can’t miss it.” Chris jokes mimicking the shape with his hands.
“Kind of wished my hair looked like that, maybe if I wore a bonnet.” He follows
You immediately lock eyes with him not sure if he was serious or joking, either way it was indeed hilarious.
You break through your nerves laughing at his adorable joke. You could tell he was only trying to relate and make you feel comfortable.
“Well we should get going, I have to open the shop for the afternoon shift.’ You explain. “It was nice seeing you again, for the third time.” You tease
“Yeah I guess are interactions are a little frequent, but y/n can I, maybe have your number. If it’s isn’t a problem for you, no pressure.” He stammered.
Was the Chris Evans nervous to ask for your number? Wait scratch that, did the Chris Evans ask you for your number?
You were definitely just as nervous as him, but you could not pass up this opportunity to at least be friends. 
“Um of course, sure.” You comply immediately
Taking his phone the screen trembled as you typed, you hadn’t done this is a while. It was so foreign to you.
For your photo you snap a quick picture of haneli, smiling down at her adorable face.
“Cute.” Chris chuckles taking his phone back from your much smaller hands. “I’ll text you later?” He says almost as a question.
“Only if you want.” You shy
“Luckily for you, I do.” Chris smirks gathering dodger walking away.
You felt your stomach churn in excitement, those damn butterflies were fluttering again.
His scent was intoxicating and his Boston accent was sexy, it was enough to make you crumble.
You hoped he would actually text you, with him being a big name in Hollywood you doubt if he’d ever been have time to get around to you.
Chris’s Point Of View:
Y/n looked beautiful today.
The way her hair was up in a beautiful updo, and her athletic clothes. Those leggings that fit her curves hugging her ass so well, she had a nice ass.
Stop it Chris.
Your outfit completely captured her essence.
To be completely transparent I had come here to walk dodger and get some fresh air, when I noticed she was here I couldn’t help but creep and watch for a minute, or two.
The way you smiled and laughed with  Haneli warmed my heart.
Driving home all my thoughts were intoxicated with y/n.
Even though I lived alone thinking about you didn’t make my house feel so big anymore.
Your warmth made it feel as if you could be here.
With me.
Gosh Y/n what are you doing to me?
——
Y/n’s Point Of View:
You walk into the bakery opening up shop, fiddling around to waste time until a costumer graced you.
You weren’t one hundred percent focused though. Chris had interrupted your thoughts more than once.
Since him returning to give you the tip, him possibly cyber stalking you, and now running into one another at the dog park.
It was almost like you couldn’t escape him.
But you weren’t complaining. For the most with all of your interactions he’d been nothing but the perfect gentleman and he was funny as well.
So far no complaints, not that it mattered.
A noise startles you breaking your train of thought.
“Kiara I had no Idea you were here.” You whisper shout holding your chest
“Uh, yeah I work every Monday.”
“Yeah right, I’m sorry just a lot on my mind right now.” You stated
“What or should I say who would that be?” Kiara implies wiggling her perfect brows.
She saw right through you ever time one of her many talents.
“We ran into each other at the dog park this morning.” You confess chest now feeling much lighter.
“What?! Kiara shouts. ‘Is he stalking you or something?”
“No he was walking dodger and said he recognized me and just started a conversation, no big deal.” You reassure.
Big deal, big fucking deal.
“Big deal my ass, your smitten like a kitten and he might like you.” Kiara suggests
“ I don’t know it wasn’t like that. I mean he asked for number but-.”
If she wasn’t excited it for you before she definitely was now. Kiara drops the broom she was carrying on the ground and her eyes go wide.
“Are you kidding me!’ Kiara trilled. “He asked for your number, like how reenact it for me. I’m you, your Chris.”
“Okay so basically, he just asked for number like a normal human being.”
“Lame! I want the juic more must have happened.” Kiara remarked.
“No it really happened that way.”
“Let me ask you this. How long has it been since you’ve got laid?”
A question you had to ponder on. It had been a while, you were celibate for about four years after your last serious relationship.
The only thing that had been down there were tampons, a few sex toys and a shower head.
“Since him.” You whisper
Kiara looked almost shocked although she was your Bestfriend you had been on a few spotty dates here and there she could have been sure you were getting some with those guys, but four years.
“Uh uh, text him right now and tell him you want to suck his white chocolate stick off right now!” She cursed.
“No!’ You shout. “Please use your lady mouth.” You demand
“I need you to use your lady mouth.” She says pretending to perform oral sex with the air.
“You’re ridiculous.” You chuckle
Just like clock work your first costumers of the afternoon walk in. you smile greeting the small family pushing the thoughts of Chris as far back as you could.
—-
Later that evening:
It’d been a rather long shift. It was a beautiful day so people were out more than usual.
You enjoyed costumer interaction and spreading your brand so that was no problem.
You were finishing the final pieces of closing up the shop.
Counting the cash profits and tips. You’re interrupted by the pinging of your phone.
You huff in frustration looming down at your phone.
Unknown number: Hi.
Y/n: Hello.Chris?
Unknown number: No not Chris. I’m sorry who is this again new phone so.
Y/n: I’m sure you’re not looking for me! Goodnight.
Unknown number: y/n, it’s Chris 😂
Y/n: Actor.. -_-
You quickly switch his name to a secretive and rather suggestive contact name.
The Captain: what are you up to?
Y/n: Closing up shop, talk when I’m home?
The Captain: Nah might be to tired.
Y/n: :(.
The Captain: kidding. Text me when you’re home, be safe.
You were shocked he actually got around to you let alone wanted you to be safe.
You felt like the flash the way you practically sped through your work to get home and text Chris. 
You were beyond excited, more excited than you’d like to admit but you couldn't shake the feeling that this was, this could be something great.
---
Getting home and settling down you took a shower taking your time, making sure to really exfoliate and moisturize your tired skin. You took your time twisting your hair, sealing in the moisture adequately.
You didn't want Chris to think you were desperate for him to like you, so you made him wait out for an hour, or two.
Finally at around eleven p.m you decided to send him a text.
Y/n: Hi :).
The Captain: Hey. Here I was thinking you forgot all about me.
Y/n: How could I do that?.
The Captain: Well maybe your boyfriends got you preoccupied ;). 
Y/n: Single. :p
Why would he assume I have a boyfriend?
---
Chris’s Point Of View:
I can't lie I was excited to learn she was available. Through our text and interactions I can tell she was a genuine person. 
After my last relationship I promised to let things come to me, yes I screwed up here and there going on dates who only wanted me for the label. 
Maybe letting y/n secretly slip into my life undetected was what I needed, what I wanted.
I want to take it slow to protect myself but something about her makes me wanna go all the way and quickly, and we’ve barley talked.
---
Y/n’s Point Of View:
Chris kept the conversation interesting, most of the questions asking about you and what your interests were. 
Knowing men you definitely knew he was figuring you out. Wanting to “get to know you more.”
You both exchanged questions back and forth.
He asked you about Disney.
You asked him about conspiracies.
You both dint want the night to end. The text were funny, serious, a little invasive. 
You felt like you knew Chris forever, when his named popped on your screen it warmed you heart.
So it melted when you felt your eyes grow heavy knowing you had work early in the morning. 
Y/n: Chris, I have to go.. I work early tomorrow.
The Captain: :( I understand sleep well beautiful.
Y/n: You as well.
The Captain: :)
And with that you put your phone to rest. Laying awake, lingering on his last words. 
Beautiful. Did he really think so?
Your eyelids falling you imagine Chris cradling you whispering those sweet words in your ear with his Boston accent.
God I think I like him.
---
Second Part! Let me know what you think below!
Are you liking their dynamic so far? Is it moving too fast or the perfect pace?
(please interact this helps me be a better story writer!)
Things will heat up soon don't you worry!
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tetsuroyaoyaoya · 4 years
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A Crow Without Wings
tsukishima kei x reader - part eight
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A/N: Ushijima is the Elon Musk of anime. Fight me.
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“We’re here!” Indeed you were, and it was strange to be here.
That same gymnasium that you all currently stood in front of was the very place that your life came crashing down around you almost a year ago now. There weren’t many things in life that scared you anymore, but you couldn’t help the erratic beating of your heart in your chest as you stared at the building, having not seen it since that day.
The sound of screaming drew you away from your thoughts and you weren’t surprised to see Hinata already sprinting towards the entrance, your brother not far behind him.
“They’re like insects.” Chuckling at Tsukishima’s comment, he glanced down at you, not having realised he’d somehow ended up stood next to you. He noticed as you tensed all of a sudden and followed your gaze over to see that the fiery-haired spiker had bumped into another team. Typical.
The boy he had bumped into recognised him immediately and wasted to time in pushing the smaller player to the side to wave at you enthusiastically.
“Hey, cutie! Make sure to give me your number today!” You rolled your eyes, resisting sending him a very rude gesture when you felt an arm fall around your shoulders. Looking up, you saw Tsukishima taunting Terushima with what looked like his usual smirk at first glance, but as you felt his grip on you tighten slightly, you realised that it was a much darker expression than normal, as if he was actually annoyed.
It was almost as if he was staking his claim over you in a stand-off with Terushima, and you couldn’t help but blush at the action.
On your other side, two very rowdy second years were practically growling at the captain, and you couldn’t even get a word in before they were rushing off to presumably attack the poor boy.
They were promptly stopped, however, by Johzenji’s female manager, who seemingly apologised immediately for the player’s actions.
“Oh, they stopped.”
“They’re frozen in mid-air. That’s amazing.” You felt the rumble in Tsukishima’s chest as he chuckled, seen as he was still holding you close to him.
Terushima gave you one last wink and you watched as Tsukishima struck his tongue out at him before he disappeared into the building.
“That was childish.” He glanced down at you, shrugging his shoulders, but he never moved his arm away. You weren’t complaining, and let him keep it there, ignoring the curious looks from some of the other team members.
You wouldn’t say it aloud, especially not in front of the rest of the boys but having him this close to you was oddly comforting, and you felt your bundle of nerves slowly disappearing the longer he was next to you.
You may not have been able to play anymore, but with a team like this beside you, you would definitely be winning once again.
No matter what.
~~~
“Where’s Hinata?” You held his water bottle in your hand, but couldn’t see the boy it belonged to anywhere, and you hadn’t even noticed that he had separated from the group in the first place.
“Bathroom.” A sigh immediately left your lips and you ran a hand down your face. You were well aware of what happened whenever Hinata disappeared off to the bathroom before matches, and there was no doubt that the same thing would happen today.
“I’ll go check on him.” There were many things you had experienced in the past few months that you never expected to have to do, and more or less babysitting a small, ginger volleyball prodigy while he went to the bathroom was definitely one of them. You sighed once again as you made your way through the crowd, having forgotten how packed the venues really were come tournament time.
Nevertheless, you still managed to spot the familiar tuft of red hair stood near the men’s bathroom.
“Shouyou!” His head shot over to look at you and only then did you notice how terrified he looked. You felt a wave of dread rush through you as you looked at him and then realised exactly what – or who – he was terrified of.
Oikawa Tooru and Ushijima Wakatoshi.
“You have got to be fucking kidding me.”
Note to self; avoid bathrooms at tournaments.
Swallowing heavily, you slowly made your way over to the group, attempting to stay as calm as possible.
“It’s nice to see you, Kageyama.” You bowed your head towards Seijoh’s ace as he addressed you, trying to avoid eye contact with the other star ace stood next to you.
“It’s been a while, Iwaizumi-senpai.” You could feel your heartbeat in your throat and resisted the urge to wince as you felt the forthcoming headache brewing at your temples.
“Well, it was nice to see you. Hinata, just don’t be too long, okay? The match is starting soon.” He merely nodded at you, too afraid to speak, especially with your sudden darker demeanour. As you turned to leave, a hand caught your wrist, forcing you to stop and look back at whoever it belonged to.
“Can we talk?” Ushijima’s eyes bore into yours, and it was unbelievably difficult to refuse under his stare.
“Only if it’s quick. I have a team to look after.” His stoic expression remained as unchanged as ever, and the lack of reaction really struck whatever anger you still held inside of you.
“Have you been doing well? With the articles and everything?” Your lips parted in surprise, and your arm fell from his grip. You wished that you could say yes, that everything had been fine, but in reality, that wasn’t the case.
As far as you knew, none of the boys were aware, but that one article they had seen a few months ago wasn’t the only one out there. It was the only one that garnered that much attention, but every now and then little snippets of details about you, your life, and your career were released to the public for the world to see.
Semi was the one that kept you up to date on the situation mostly, as you opted to try and ignore it as much as you possibly could but ignoring it didn’t stop the judging looks and whispers that you would hear at school almost every day. There was no line between the truth and a lie anymore, because you were the only one who truly knew which was which.
He took your silence as an answer and frowned.
“Don’t worry. I’m handling it.” Furrowing your eyebrows, you glanced up at him.
“Handling it? Does that mean you know who’s doing it?” No matter how much you raked your brain and reflected on the past few years of your life, you couldn’t think of anyone who knew those details about you that would possibly even think of hurting you the way they had.
“I have suspicions.” Well, it was better than nothing. You nodded, a ‘thank you’ at the tip of your tongue, except, you couldn’t actually bring yourself to actually say it.
“Rei-chan?” It seemed that Hinata was finished with the Aobajohsai boys, and you let out a quick breath of relief. With one last bow towards Ushijima from the both of you, you made your way back to the team.
You didn’t look back, and Ushijima was left staring at your back as you walked away once again.
~~~
You felt your hands tremble as you carried the boys’ water bottles, walking carefully so as not to drop any. No matter how much you tried not to, you couldn’t stop thinking about your run-in with Ushijima and how… empty you felt afterwards.
It had been the first time seeing him since you caught Tobio and Hinata snooping around the Shiratorizawa campus, and your first real conversation since your breakup.
And yet you felt nothing.
You had expected to be sad at least, or even angry, but it was just… hollow.
He had been your best friend for over ten years, and now you were practically strangers. It had been a long time since you had found yourself missing him, and from what Semi mentioned every so often, Ushijima was too busy with volleyball now to care about you anymore.
What a shame.
Placing the bottles down, you smiled at Kiyoko, who smiled back at you warmly. Remembering that you were at a tournament, you cracked your knuckles, trying to calm yourself down.
Although, that clearly wasn’t going to happen straight away, seen as the minute you turned away to go and get some air, you bumped into someone.
“Sor-“
“Rei? What’s wrong.” Whoever you had managed to walk into quickly grabbed your arm to prevent you from running away. Looking up, you saw Tsukishima’s face a lot closer than you had expected it to be and your breath hitched, your eyes avoiding his.
“Nothing. It’s fine, I just need a minute.” His grip never wavered, causing you to look back at him. As soon as your eyes met his, you could tell that he didn’t believe you, and you cursed yourself for being so readable. No matter how much he struggled to figure you out on the court, off of it you were practically transparent.
“We ran into Oikawa and Ushijima earlier.” Hinata popped up out of nowhere, and you felt Tsukishima’s grip on your arm tighten slightly at the mention of your ex-boyfriend.
“You what?” He was staring at you with a look you had never seen of him before, and you couldn’t help but find it attractive how scary he looked right then.
You noticed Hinata slowly backing away from the two of you out of your peripheral, clearly having noticed the sudden tension in the air as well.
Tsukishima sighed, his hand sliding down your arm to carefully take your hand in his, fiddling with your fingers.
You swallowed as you glanced rapidly between your hands and his face, him being too busy staring at your fingers to notice the panic on your face.
What was he doing?
“Are you okay?” He finally looked at you, his rage completely untraceable, as if it had never been there, his soft gaze holding yours.
You had to be dreaming.
This was too good to be true.
“Y-yeah. I’m good.” You couldn’t help the raging blush currently taking over your cheeks as he smiled at you softly, placing a hand on your head to ruffle your hair. He left you completely speechless as he dropped you hand before turning and walking away.
There were quite a few members still hanging around, meaning that they had just witnessed everything that had just happened and were now gaping at you in disbelief.
Sugawara even looked slightly frightened as the blocker’s shift in behaviour, and you couldn’t blame him.
“What… was that?” You stood frozen in place; mind completely blank.
“I… I don’t know.”
~~~
Smiling down at the court, you rested your forearms on the railing of the balcony. Although, your mood was slightly dampened by the feeling of someone’s eyes on you constantly.
Scanning the court, your eyes landed on none other than Terushima, smirking up at you. As he noticed you finally looking back at him, he winked at you, causing you to roll your eyes.  The word ‘no’ really wasn’t enough for some people, was it?
Tsukishima caught your attention as soon as you looked away from the other end of the court. Even from so far away, you could see that his brows were pinched together in annoyance, and you gave him an ‘okay’ sign with your hand. You watched as he relaxed a bit, but he still sent a glare over to the other team, particularly their captain.
Soon enough, the match was starting, and you could already sense that the drums Johzenji’s cheerleaders were abusing were going to be ringing in your ears for the rest of the day. Although, their chant had absolutely nothing on Shiratorizawa’s, especially at an important match.
You cheered as Asahi served, smirking as Johzenji’s libero barely managed to bump it, throwing their formation out of synch. However, that smirk quickly disappeared as you watched Terushima spring to the back end of the court, hitting the ball from just before the end line and scoring the point.
You had heard that this team didn’t exactly have the most conventional way of playing, but that was insane.
It only continued as one of their receives hit the net, the blocker saving it with his foot, allowing them to score again. You hated how genius their playing style was.
Even when they made a mistake, like hitting a serve into the net. They didn’t seem all too concerned, preferring to play around rather than follow the rules. It didn’t feel like an official match when it was like this.
Their normal attacks were just as good, allowing them to score more points than you were comfortable with.
Their next serve clipped the net, tipping into Karasuno’s side of the court. Tanaka dove in to save it and got it up in the air, but it was way too high, and you were worried if they’d be able to connect it comfortably.
Although, as always, Hinata came swooping in to prove you wrong as he leaped for the ball, using his forearm to get it back into play. He succeeded, but he had jumped way too far, and looked as though he was about to crash into the wall.
You winced in anticipation for the impact, but it never came. Instead, the boy rotated his body as much as he could, his feel landing flat on the wall as he used it to propel himself back into the court. Your mouth fell open in shock as he landed back on two feet like it was nothing as Noya hit the ball over the net. It thankfully landed in the back corner of the court before any players could reach it, scoring them the point, but you were more impressed by whatever Hinata had just managed to do.
It seemed that your playing styles weren’t exactly conventional either.
You kept your eyes trained on the court as a rally began between the two teams. Both had strong receives, meaning that it was down to the attack to decide who scored the point.
Hinata sprinted to the right of the court and you really tried your best not to look smug as he leapt into the air, arm reeled back, ready to hit the ball. Tobio’s fingertips grazed the ball and then it was in Johzenji’s side of the court, rebounding off of the floor.
For once, Terushima looked shocked, staring at the duo with wide eyes and a slacked jaw.
The game progressed fairly quickly, with Karasuno managing to keep up in points, and Johzenji was still messing around, despite it being almost halfway into the set. You rolled your eyes as two of the players collided but couldn’t help but feel that slight tug in your chest once again. Even if it was the opposing team, someone getting injured was an unthinkable situation for you still.  
Your nerved didn’t stick around for long, thankfully, and you giggled to yourself as one of the opposing players got caught up in the net.
It seemed that they weren’t really trying to stop the freak quick either, allowing Karasuno to score a decent amount of points with it.
Griping the railing, you eyed the setter as he jumped for a dump, Tobio not far behind, reaching as high as he could as the player swung. It looked like he managed to block it, the ball bouncing back towards the court floor, and he definitely blocked it alright.
Just with his face.
You burst into uncontrollable laughter as he turned back around to face the team, your eyes already filling with tears. Blood ran down his face in streams and you could help but laugh even more, causing a few of the players to look up from the court and resist a smile.
Genuine tears ran down your face as you struggled to breathe, Tobio scowling up at you as Takeda called for a time out. You were tempted to run down and join them, knowing that he would be taken to the medical office, but you physically couldn’t calm yourself down.
Instead, Yamaguchi escorted him out of the gym, looking up at you one last time to see you still giggling away at Tobio angry frown, now hidden behind the mound of tissues he held against his nose.
The game continued, and you found yourself furrowing your brows as Hinata was called to be subbed out of the game. You couldn’t think of a reason why he would be, but you guessed that the coach had something in mind.
Not long after, it was obvious why. Narita had such good chemistry with Sugawara, even more so in a match than in practice. It allowed the team to have more solid attacks, even without the freak quick, showing the crowd proof of how much they had evolved recently. They no longer had to rely on the insane attack to win, and even players that weren’t on the regular line up were clearly essential to the team.
You scoffed as your brother walked back into the gym, only to be put straight into the substitution box. The coach was clearly giving the lesser used players a chance to shine and it was a nice changed from the usual pace of playing. It most definitely wasn’t as stressful to watch.
“Chance ball!” Narita sent the ball over to Sugawara and all of a sudden, all four spikers were moving at once. You smiled as you watched, having now seen the synchronised attack used in a match in what seemed like forever.
Daichi slammed the ball over the net, scoring Karasuno the point and bringing them up to set point.
Narita served the ball, and it was nicely received by Johzenji’s libero. As soon as it was up in the air, all four of their spikers ran towards the net, in a mirror image to what the boys had just done.
One by one, they all jumped, until only Terushima was left. He reached back to spike the ball and…
…missed.
The ball barely brushed his fingertips.
You snorted, trying to hold in your laughter. Had they really just tried to copy that with no practice? At set point?
How stupid.
At the start of the second set, they returned to their original line-up; with Tobio and Hinata on the court and Sugawara and Narita back in the substitution box.
The duo were quick to pull out their attack.
Only for Hinata to completely miss the spike.
Hinata reached out to try and save it, but Daichi was already there to get the ball over the net, as if he had expected them to mess up that first shot.
Johzenji also managed to receive the ball and set it up for Terushima to spike. However, Daichi was ready and waiting, and received the ball with ease. Terushima’s feet had barely even touched the ground before Hinata was in the air, slamming the ball over the net and onto the floor.
You had always known that Daichi was a great receiver, and yet somehow he always managed to impress even you with how good he actually was. He had amazing stability, both physically and mentally, and you knew that was why he was such a great captain, especially with how mismatched the boys were.
The game continued pretty smoothly, with Karasuno taking a decent lead in points. Although, it seemed that Johzenji was getting pretty frustrated with the way the game was going, and after a flubbed serve and an out spike, their coach called for a time out.
However, it wasn’t long before they were all back on the court, a new atmosphere surrounding them. Whatever their manager had told them must have really struck deep, because now they were more than ready to play.
This is where it got serious.
They began with a few strong attacks; a feint and a back attack, and it looked as if they were going to catch up soon if they carried on like this.
You cheered as loud as you could manage when Tsukishima completely blocked out one of their spikes. You shot him a wide grin and two thumbs up when he glanced up to you, earning you an eyeroll and a half-smile.
The freak quick was the next attack to be used, although, you were pleasantly surprised when the opposite team decided to not even try to block it. Instead, they were already in the position to receive, increasing their chances of getting it back into play.
And it actually worked. The libero managed to bump it, but it didn’t have much height, meaning that Terushima had to try and save it with his foot as the last second, it went up, and another spiker slammed it into Karasuno’s side of the court.
The point gap was slowly reducing, and you could see from your position that Hinata was getting especially frustrated with how his opponents were handling his attacks.
The duo went in for a quick again, and this time, Hinata managed to aim his spike at a spot with less players, meaning that it landed at the back corner of the court, the libero missing it by mere inches.
Since it worked so well the first time, he tried it again, but Terushima was expecting it this time, and tossed the ball into the air from close range, allowing them to score another point.
You cursed at him slightly. Even he was a completely and utter dick, he was actually quite smart.
Hinata jumped once again for a spike, and it looked as though he was about to do the exact same thing, but at last second, adjusted his attack power and opted for a feint instead. The other players couldn’t react in time, and so  the ball landed on the court floor without any obstruction, scoring the point and bringing them to match point.
One more.
Your eyes widened as Johzenji attempted another synchronised attack. It was risky, but they seemed to have a different air about it this time, and it seemed you were right, as Terushima actually managed to spike the ball this time. You held your breath as it flew across the gym, not giving Hinata and Tanaka a chance to react before it hit the floor.
Out of bounds.
The whistle blew one final time and you sighed in relief. Karasuno had won by five points. They had just beat a team that was in the top four of the prefecture last year in two straight sets.
Maybe they really did have a chance at winning.
~~~
“You did it!” You jogged up to the boys as they made their way out of the gym.
“Yay!” Tanaka jumped up to give you a high-ten.
“Yay!” But so did Noya.
“Boys!” You didn’t have four hands and they were already in the air. Bracing your impact, you squeezed your eyes shut… but it never came.
Opening one eye cautiously, you saw that both of them had been grabbed by the scruff of their necks, and you sighed gratefully, opening your other eye and straightening up.
“Thanks, Chikara.” He smiled at you and placed the two boys back on the floor.
“I only have two hands, boys. One at a time please.” They glanced at each other in realisation, but were still excited none the less, and so took it in turns, Chikara even joining in.
“Well done. All of you.”
~~~
Karasuno’s next opponent turned out to be Wakutani South, another of the top four schools in Miyagi. They really had back luck getting two top teams in a row right at the start of the tournament.
“Hey!”
“Oh, Shimada-san. Alone today?” The man took to standing in the spot next to you, looking over the rail to observe the court.
“Takinoue has work today. He said he might swing by in the afternoon though.”
“Man, this psyches me up!” Looking to your left, you immediately noticed Saeko, making her way over to you both.
“Nice to see you, Saeko-san.” She swung her arm around your shoulders in the same way that Tanaka liked to do and laughed. You hadn’t seen her since the very first training camp, and you had forgotten how alike her and her brother were.
“Ryu! I came to cheer you on!” She easily caught the attention of the second years, who all turned to wave back at her.
Soon enough, both teams were lining up, and the match was ready to begin.
Karasuno started off with the freak quick, which the libero was unable to receive. Everyone cheered, but you frowned at how the opposing team didn’t even seem phased by the attack.
“It seems that we’ve gained a new reputation.” It was impressive. They had all taken a bad situation and completely turned it around in a matter of months. If a team like WakuNan knew what Karasuno played like, that meant the boys had to be pretty well known by now.
This was going to be trouble.
You gaped at the court as the opposing libero managed to bump Tobio’s serve like it was nothing, allowing one of the players to rush in from behind and score the point.
Their tactics continued as you noticed one of their spikers deliberately aiming to the edge of Hinata’s hands as he blocked, causing the ball to spiral up out of control and land in the stands. You groaned, running a hand down your face.
“They’re smart, I’ll give them that.” You had missed attacks like this; ones that focused on actual thinking rather than just pure power or height. It just wasn’t as fun when your team was the one they were being used against.
All through the first set, both teams remained neck and neck, one team never pulling more than one point away from the other.
You giggled as you noticed Tsukishima’s sour expression as he watched from the side-lines. The opposing captain’s spiking techniques were clearly getting on his nerves like they were yours.
Hinata was jumping at his highest today, and you chuckled as the blocker’s line of sight was met by his chest. Even people with quick reactions struggled against the small spiker, and the shock on the blocker’s face was highly amusing.
It only got even more fun to watch as Asahi completely broke through the two blockers that attempted to stop him. It took a whole lot to block out Asahi, and that seemed to ease the team’s nerves a bit.
Although, WakuNan’s blockers didn’t look so calm when they were broken through again by his next spike as well.
And then when their spiker was completely blocked by Tobio and Tsukishima, finally giving Karasuno a two-point lead.
However, it didn’t seem like the opposite team was about to give in that easily, leading to the beginning of a rally between them. The ball was received again and again, both teams desperate for the point.
Daichi and Noya had to rush out of the court to reach the ball, and your captain was quickly back on his feet, diving back to the court to send it over the net.
But so was Tanaka.
The ball clipped the net and landed on the court floor before WakuNan’s captain could reach it.
The two next to you cheered, but you gasped, bringing a shaky hand up to your mouth as you stared at the court.
“Oh, fuck.” Daichi was laid completely still on the court, seemingly unconscious.
Without a second thought, you sprinted through the stands, Tsukishima just managing to catch sight of you before you disappeared. You rushed down the stairs, apologising as you bumped into a few people on the way. If he really was unconscious, it meant that he wouldn’t be able to play for at least the rest of the match. If it was any more serious than that, he wouldn’t be able to play for the remainder of the tournament.
You reached the court just in time to see Daichi spit out a tooth into his hand, blood training down his chin. He noticed the terror on your face and tried his best to smile at you to reassure you, but it wasn’t working.
“D-Daichi.” Your eyes shifted over to Tanaka, who looked as though he was about to cry. Your expression softened immediately, repressing your anxiety for the sake of the team. Making them panic because of you wasn’t what they needed right now.
“I’m sor-“
“Sorry, Tanaka!” The spiker looked up from his bow in surprise.
“I saw you coming in to cover, but my body had a will of its own and plunged in.” Even with the reassurances, Tanaka didn’t look any less guilty, and while Daichi had a quick word with the rest of the team, you stepped forward.
“Ryu?” You placed your hands on his shoulders, making him look at you.
“Daichi will be fine, okay? It isn’t that serious, and it’s not your fault. He’ll be back and ready to play by the next game. So now, you need to stay calm and win. Win, so Daichi can play another game.” He swallowed, and straightened up, still looking upset, but not as guilty. He nodded, and you gave him a smile, before turning to walk out of the gym with Daichi and Ukai.
You caught Tobio’s eye, and you silently assured him that you were fine, but it did little to ease the concerned look plastered on his face. You just hoped he would get too caught up in that big brain of his while you and his captain were gone.
All they needed to do was win.
~~~
Luckily, Daichi wasn’t too injured, and would only have to sit the rest of this game out, just as you had anticipated. Ukai returned to the game, and Daichi left to watch the rest, but you couldn’t bring yourself to go back to the game.
Your heart was still beating out of your chest, and nothing you tried to distract yourself with was working. Making your way outside, you took a deep breath, enjoying the freshness of the air compared to in the gym.
Sighing, you rested your head in your hands as you leant back against one of the pillars.
You just couldn’t have one normal tournament, could you?
“Kitten?” Lifting your head out of your hands, you grinned as you noticed your best friend stood not far from you.
“Pinch? Oh, thank god” You rushed over to him and he immediately welcomed you with a hug, chuckling lowly.
While you had seen him over the summer, this was definitely the happiest you had ever been to see him. He had appeared at the perfect time.
“You okay?” You pulled away from him and nodded, but like Tsukishima, he could see through you. He raised an eyebrow and you gave in, running a hand through your hair.
“There was a collision on the court. Our captain got injured.” He winced, and you sighed once again.
“He’s fine. He can play in the next game.” Semi shook his head, and expression of worry and concern visible on his usually soft features.
“But are you okay?” Smiling weakly, you nodded.
“I’ll be fine. It was just scary.” He ruffled your hair and you whined, bringing your hands up to your head to swat him away as he laughed at you.
“Semi-senpai?” The both of you turned, finding two other students from Shiratorizawa looking at you curiously.
“Aw, is this your new first year?” The taller one blushed as you nodded in greeting to Shibaru, already knowing him from the team last year. Semi had mentioned that the team had a few new solid players, and it was exciting to meet one of them. He hummed in confirmation.
“My name’s Goshiki Tsutomu. Are you Kageyama Rei by any chance?” The first year squeaked, and you laughed as he fumbled over his words, having forgotten his honorifics.
“It’s fine. Don’t worry about all that stuff. Yeah, I am.” He looked positively starstruck, and you giggled at how innocent he looked.
“Ushijima mentioned he bumped into you yesterday.” You turned your attention to Shibaru and frowned. You had forgotten all about that, actually, and found it strange that he would mention your encounter to the team.
“What?” Apparently, he hadn’t told the whole team, and you placed a hand on Semi’s bicep to ease the angry expression making its way onto his face.
“So, you go to Karasuno now?” There was a slight hostility in his voice, and you couldn’t blame him. You had left Shiratorizawa with pretty much no notice and hadn’t contacted him since. You’d be pissed too.
You nodded and he scoffed.
“We’re going to kick your asses in the final. If you even get there, that is.” Rolling your eyes, the challenge brought a smirk to your face, your nerves from earlier having completely dissipated now.
“I’m going to love watching you try.”
~~~
From: Tsukki :/
We won, where are you?
Your phone continued to buzz with notifications as the team all messaged you to see where you had run off to. Rushing through the venue, you cursed yourself for even leaving the game in the first place. You should have been there to watch them win, not hear about it through a damn text.
Rounding a corner, you spotted the team straight away, and Tsukishima came rushing up to you, enveloping you in a hug. You hesitated in surprise but wrapped your arms around his torso as he held you, burying your face into his chest.
All of a sudden, you felt something wet running down your cheeks, and realised that you were crying. You gripped the back of Tsukishima’s jersey in your hands and began to sob.
“I’m a coward. I ran away.” Tsukishima pulled back from you slightly, and you kept your arms around his waist as he moved his hands up to cup your cheeks. You tried your best to calm yourself down as he brushed the tears away from your eyes with his thumbs.
“You are one of the strongest people I have ever met. I wouldn’t have been able to play the way I do now if it wasn’t for you and everything you’ve done for me. No matter how much of an ass I was to you, you stuck with me, and I appreciate you for that. So much.” You stared up at him in awe. Tsukishima wasn’t one for inspiring words or encouragement, and there wasn’t even a single insult or backhanded compliment in anything he had just said to you.
Speechless, you took a step back, his hands falling from your face and yours from around his waist. You had finally stopped crying, and Tsukishima looked at you in confusion.
“Rei?”
“I like you, Kei.”
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Admin J: The next few chapters might be extremely long seen as it’s the Seijoh and Shiratorizawa matches so pray for us all. Also, I have something new in the works that I might tease soon, so keep an eye out for that ;) 
taglist: @iamthepenguinwhosearseisonfire, @loreblackthorne, @tchalameme, @lorentime, @influxencer, @enagmaticether, @nerdstuff1994, @ewwis, @keikink​, @flwrjxx​, @centinoahs​
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helenalikesbtsnow · 3 years
Text
The Ongoing Struggles of Being A Mall Gay (Part 2/3)
Read on ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN or here on tumblr below the cut!
Summary: Hoseok works at Build-A-Bear and Yoongi works at the Orange Julius that gives them discounts. Warning for gratuitous overuse of American mall culture.
Part 1 (Tumblr Link)
***
Yoongi listens to rap music. He also really loves Slam Dunk. Hoseok doesn’t watch a lot of anime, or any at all really, but he adores the idea of Yoongi watching a basketball anime. He’ll watch it with him anytime he wants.
Hoseok doesn’t dare ask how old he is, because it’ll shatter the illusion. If he knows how old he is, it’ll only fuck things up. He doesn’t want to saddle anyone with the burden of dating him. Still, he just wants to sit on a couch with him and maybe cuddle him and watch Slam Dunk with him. Is that so much to ask?
Yoongi has started responding to texts in the group chat. This is more progress than they’ve made with anyone else they’ve tried to add to it. People always just remove themselves after a few weeks, so it’s beyond exciting for Yoongi to engage with them. It’s starting to seem like he might stick around and that is the best news ever. No longer six of them, they’ll have a seventh. That’s a perfect number for playing board games. Hoseok has been trying to host a board game night for months, but they all have busy schedules. It’s something that they have to plan for two weeks in advance so that Seokjin and Namjoon, the two who make the schedules, can coordinate.
“Do you like mafia?”
“The… the mafia?” Yoongi asks.
“No, like the game mafia. Not the actual mafia.”
Yoongi blinks at him a few times. “I don’t know what that is.”
Hoseok smiles. “Don’t worry, I’ll teach you how to play.”
“Are you going to order something or are you just harassing my coworker?” Jimin asks him teasingly. Hoseok shrugs. He supposes he could go for a smoothie right now.
“Sure, just make me whatever,” he says. Hoseok likes pretty much all of the smoothies at Orange Julius so he’s not picky.
“Yup,” Jimin says turning around to make him whatever. “Extra fruity because you’re gay.”
“That’s homophobic,” Hoseok says. Yoongi’s ears or heart or face or something turn a violent red. Hoseok is… gay? Which means that he… has the capacity… to like Yoongi? In a gay way? Well this isn’t going to be good for his poor little heartstrings.
Jimin gives him a glare. Yoongi starts to feel like an idiot in this moment. Namjoon and Seokjin: married. Jimin: openly gay. Taehyung: has that personality. Jungkook is… Jungkook. Jesus Christ. All of them are gay. Why didn’t that occur to him? Is he literally a victim to heteronormativity? He was so caught up in the fact that most people are usually straight that it didn’t even process in his brain that they all gravitated towards each other to form a mall family. Because they’re all gay. Wait… if they wanted Yoongi to join their ranks does that mean…?
“Wait – so all of you are gay,” Yoongi states. He doesn’t think that he means for the words to come out of his mouth. They just tumble out of him without his consent.
“Uh, yeah,” Hoseok nods. “Was that not clear?” Now he’s trying to determine what tone of voice Yoongi is saying that with. Please oh please don’t let this beautiful boy be a piece of shit. Hoseok will be heartbroken if someone as pretty as him is an asshole. It’ll break his heart in two. Now obviously, Namjoon isn’t allowed to fire anyone for their moral beliefs or complete lack thereof, but it will make things a little uncomfortable. But then again, Yoongi does work under Namjoon, a very transparently gay man, so if he was a homophobe, you’d expect that to have come out by now.
“Is that why you invited me to the group chat?” he asks. Hoseok makes an “oh” sound. That makes sense. He doesn’t give off any energy at all that suggests towards anything, gay, straight, or something outside or in between. But now that he’s looking at Yoongi, he understands the confusion.
“Oh,” Hoseok draws out the word for a long moment. “You too?”
“I keep telling you!” Jimin bursts out. “We’re magnets for the gays! I don’t know how this keeps happening!” Jimin has noted a few times how peculiar it is that the six of them gravitated together, completely ignorant of each other’s sexualities at the time until they had already been assimilated.
“This just means that Yoongi will stay, right? You’re not going to leave our family, right Yoongi?” Hoseok asks, looking brightly at him. Yoongi blushes and shakes his head. He’s pretty sure he looks like a strawberry right now from how embarrassed he is. Of course he isn’t going to leave their circle, he thinks they’re the most charming people he’s ever met. Especially Hoseok with his cute nose and energetic personality. “Oh my god, is this why we drive away everyone else? Why did that never occur to me, holy shit. Straight people think we’re weird!”
Read on ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN
“I think it’s because you’re you,” Jimin says brightly. “I wouldn’t want to be friends with you.”
“I think you’re alright,” Yoongi says, and then has a look of sheer panic, which looks good on him in a bizarre way.
Hoseok’s not going to be okay. He’s going to combust from how much he likes Yoongi. Every little thing, ever last tiny thing, it’s perfect. If Hoseok were to create a boyfriend in a laboratory, not only would that boyfriend look a lot like Yoongi, but he’d also act the same. He doesn’t want a boyfriend who’s loud like him, because they’d annoy everyone and drive people away. He wants someone who can get invigorated when talking about the things he’s passionate for but is soft spoken and wise in casual conversation. He wants someone doesn’t sugarcoat their feelings and opinions. He wants someone who’s sarcastic and too smart for his own good. He wants someone exactly like Yoongi.
Also, Yoongi’s got those holes in his ears where piercings go when he’s not at work, and Hoseok is unreasonably turned on by that. Literally everyone he knows has a slew of earrings, but it’s way more attractive on Yoongi than anyone else. He wonders what Yoongi looks like when he’s not at work. Does he look like Jungkook, all black outfits and stomping boots? Or maybe like Seokjin where everything is three sizes too big? He can’t possibly dress like Taehyung who wears prints and styles that can’t ever look good on anyone except – miraculously – him. Call him vapid, but Hoseok cares a lot about fashion, and he just knows that Yoongi must look good in anything. He can make an ugly Orange Julius uniform look good, because he’s got that face, so surely, he must look like a million dollars in street clothes.
Hoseok absently looks over the counter, he tries to be subtle about it, but he checks Yoongi out. His pants don’t flatter him, but he must have toothpicks for legs based on what Hoseok can see. Hoseok could probably lift him, and he isn’t that strong. Jungkook could probably lift him with one hand.
The only problem is that Yoongi is too young. Why couldn’t he just be a few years older? Maybe if Hoseok were in his thirties and Yoongi was in his late twenties it wouldn’t be so bad, but he’d feel like a creep to date someone who’s barely out of their teens or still in college.
Yoongi catches his eye. Maybe he knows that Hoseok is looking. Maybe Yoongi can sense the change in the atmosphere now that Hoseok knows he’s gay. Maybe that’s why the look they share is so heavy. Yoongi shouldn’t be allowed to be that beautiful, yet there he is.
“Oh my god, I have a job,” Hoseok’s eyes bulge and then he turns around to run back to his store, not even bothering to take the smoothie that Jimin sets on the counter for him.
***
Hoseok walks through the definitely not haunted employee entrance of the mall. He has his apron over one arm, because it’s been a little too long since he last washed it. In his defense, he hates supporting the evil capitalism that is coin laundry machines.
He can’t prevent himself from thinking about Yoongi from earlier. This isn’t good news for him. Yoongi is gay, which means that hypothetically speaking, Hoseok could date him. Hoseok isn’t going to be able to scrub his brain of thoughts of Yoongi now. Yoongi might actually let Hoseok cuddle him to watch Slam Dunk if he were to ask, which he is not going to do because then he’d have to face the terror of being in a relationship.
As awful as it makes him sound as a person, he doesn’t want his first relationship in seven years to be with someone who he likes and respects so much. He’d rather get practice on someone who will be inconsequential to him. Then again, he doesn’t want to date someone that he’s not interested in, so he’s come to a standstill. Maybe he’ll just die alone. Ugh, that won’t work, because Hoseok really does need someone to sleep next to him at night, be his best friend, go on vacations with him, fuck him, cook dinner with him, watch movies with him, and have arguments over the dishes with.
He pushes the door open and is exposed to the summer night. The night is chillier than the day was, but it’s nothing you’d need to put on a layer for. The streetlamps lining the mall parking lot wash the world in a calm, yellow light. Someone nearby is having a bonfire or cookout, because the smell of wood burning is in the air, and it makes Hoseok hungry. Maybe he’ll stop by the store and get a nice cut of meat for dinner.
He considers this when he sees a familiar figure standing on the sidewalk a little way down from him. Hoseok approaches him, his face lit up with a faint blue light from his phone.
“Yoongi?” Hoseok asks.
Yoongi turns to looks at him and gives him a half-there smile. “Hey, Hoseok.”
“What are you standing there for?”
“Oh, my Uber is like twenty minutes away still,” he says with a shrug. He turns to look back at his phone like he expects that to be the end of the conversation.
“What? No, fuck that. I’m your Uber driver now. But you don’t need to pay me,” Hoseok says, assuredly.
“No, it’s fine,” Yoongi says, waving off the suggestion.
“Um, yeah. I’m going to drive you. Cancel your driver so that you don’t get charged for it, come on.”
“Hoseok, you really don’t need to-”
“Yoongi, remember when I told you that we’re a family? That wasn’t for show, we really are like a family. I’m not going to have you paying for a ride when I have a car that will take you places. Now come on, I’m not going to argue with you about this.”
“It’s just… we barely even know each other.” At this point in their friendship, that doesn’t even seem like a very accurate statement. They’ve eaten lunch together a few times, and even if it only has been about a month and a half, that doesn’t mean that Hoseok doesn’t trust and care for him. Especially since he’s possibly crazy about him.
“Then we can get to know each other when I drive you home,” Hoseok says. “Are you scared of me? I promise I’m not scary, but if it seriously would make you uncomfortable, I’ll leave you alone. I just hate the idea of you standing out here by yourself, and I also hate making you pay for a ride when I’m here and I’m free.”
Yoongi sighs and looks down at his phone. “Alright.”
“Awesome!” Hoseok says, excitedly. He watches as Yoongi opens the app and cancels his driver, before he gestures for him to follow. “We’re going to become best friends, Yoongi. It’s a requirement. I’m pretty likeable, though, so it won’t be too difficult.”
He turns to look at Yoongi and sees the briefest of smiles on his face, this one genuine rather than put on. Hoseok’s smile is a thousand times wider and brighter than his which makes Yoongi self-conscious.
“We’ve got to go all the way out to the far ends of the earth to get to my car,” Hoseok says, pointing at one of only a few cars left in the lot, which is at the very outer reaches of the mall parking lot. “I can’t even begin to tell you how many parking tickets I got when I first started working here.” He tried bribing mall security, but they weren’t into that, so now he parks where he’s supposed to very dejectedly.
“How long have you worked at the mall?”
“I started when I was in high school, 16 actually. And then I just never left. My first job, believe it or not, was at the Orange Julius with Namjoon. He and I were both just crew members back then like you are now.  But then, when they put the Build-A-Bear in, I knew that was where I belonged. Had to work up the ladder, but me and Jin got the store to ourselves a little over five years ago.”
“So, you’re a lifer?”
“Probably,” Hoseok says, nodding. “I really like my job. I get to stuff bears and make people’s lives a little better every day. There’s nothing in the world like watching a little kid hug the teddy bear you made them for the first time. It just gets my heart beating.” Hoseok is content at this point in his life. He’s not sure if content is really what he wants, but he’s at least happy. Sure, he did basically give up his one true love in this life, dancing, but at least he’s making money and has his best friends around him. That’s enough, right?
“That’s sweet,” Yoongi says. He thinks about Hoseok making him his bear, who has kept his name of ‘Little Hoseok’. The way energy and joy radiated off of Hoseok that day is still just as vibrant now as it was when he was on the clock. He doesn’t stop looking at Hoseok until they finally arrive at his car. It’s a beat-up old thing Hoseok bought secondhand from someone else who bought it secondhand which has somehow lasted all these years despite being old enough to get a license and drive itself.
“What about you, Yoongi?” Hoseok says unlocking the car, which he has to do the old-fashioned way, with a key that you put into the lock instead of one of those magical buttons. Also, the passenger’s side door doesn’t unlock automatically so Hoseok has to climb into the car and stretch across the seat in order to unlock the other side manually.
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“Um I’ve worked at Orange Julius for about a month now,” he says when he’s able to open the door, and Hoseok smiles, realizing that Yoongi just made an honest to god joke. He’s obviously shy because he doesn’t know Hoseok very well, but he’s happy that maybe he’s coming out of his cocoon a little bit. Usually, Hoseok finds people to immediately fall in with him, but if they’re shy like Yoongi or Jungkook, it can take a little while.
“You’re cute,” Hoseok says casually, and since he’s the one who’s getting the car ready to drive, he doesn’t notice how Yoongi blushes magnificently at that. “Where were you at before you landed here? Tell me your life story.”
“I work at Applebee’s too,” he says. “But they cut my hours, so I had to get a second job.” Yoongi instructs him on where to go as they pull out of the parking lot. He lives right next to Applebee’s, about fifteen minutes away.
“That’s a bummer,” Hoseok sighs, and then looks over at Yoongi. He’s got his seat belt on, which is always what Hoseok checks whenever someone new enters his car, because you can never be too cautious. “But at least you chose the second-best place to work. Build-A-Bear is the best, of course.”
“Yeah,” Yoongi blushes again, and Hoseok notices it this time. “Namjoon is really nice.”
“He’s the best in the world,” Hoseok corrects him. Ever since his crippling crush on Namjoon, he tries never to feel things for his friends. It’s mostly been easy, because none of his friends are really his type. There’s something different about Yoongi, though, which makes him feel a little weird around him. Yoongi has a vibe to him that makes Hoseok’s heart go boom.
“I think the job just takes getting used to,” Yoongi says.
“You’ll be fine. We’re all amazing and I can tell you’re already fitting in. You already have one thing in common with all of us,” Hoseok says. “Jimin is pretty great to work with. He’s my roommate, I would know.”
“Oh? So, you’ve all known each other for a while it sounds like.” Yoongi is desperately intimidated walking into a circle where there are already deep bonds. Seokjin and Namjoon are literally married, Hoseok has known Namjoon for years. Now Jimin is his roommate, he feels like he should’ve known that already. He doesn’t think there’s going to be anyway for him to ever fit in with people who have all known each other for that long.
“Some of us, yeah. I’m always open to meeting new people, but my personality can be a bit much, so people don’t always want to keep me,” he shrugs. Yoongi wants to scoff and tell him that can’t be true, but he hasn’t known Hoseok for very long. He likes how extra Hoseok is, but he doesn’t actually know what other people might think.
“How did you and Jimin meet?”
“Well, I met Jimin in college. We both studied dance and we also conveniently both needed a roommate at about the same time. There was a little while where we literally and figuratively danced around the idea of dating, but we chose not to,” Hoseok shrugs.
“Oh, okay,” Yoongi says, clearly processing his thoughts. What it is he’s processing, Hoseok doesn’t know. He smiles a little bit at the way that Yoongi’s face is so soft. He looks delicate, like if you were to poke him, he’d just fall apart. “You dance?” Yoongi is intoxicated by the idea of Hoseok dancing. He barely knows this man but Hoseok is the most alluring man he’s met in years. Hoseok’s got his hand on the wheel and eyes on the road which means that Yoongi pretty much gets to look at him all he wants. He’s very pretty to look at. It’s very nice being up close to him and this is the closest he’s ever been to him.
“I do!” Hoseok says, laughing. “Jimin’s the successful one, though. His job at the mall is only part time, he teaches at the community center.”
“Do you still dance?” Yoongi looks all doe eyed and cute when he asks. Hoseok looks over at him briefly and wants to just pinch his goddamn cheeks.
“Here and there,” he shrugs.
“You miss it though,” Yoongi says with total confidence.
“I do?”
“You don’t give up things like that,” Yoongi says. “When I left college, I never thought I’d get stuck still working at fucking Applebee’s. I thought I’d be the biggest rapper in the world by now.”
“When you left college?” Hoseok asks, more than a little caught off guard. Yoongi carries a backpack around everywhere. Maybe Yoongi graduated from college really early?
Then again, if Yoongi is working two jobs, where would he even have found the time to have a college career anyway? Does this mean…?
He’s been sure that Yoongi is like 19 tops. Any more than 19 will require a lot of reorganizing in his brain. If he’s out of college that means he’s got to be at least 22? 23? More? “Wait, how old are you?”
“I’m 27.”
“Whoa, what the fuck! Seriously?” Hoseok asks, nearly screeching the car to a halt in surprise. This guy? The guy that Hoseok thought was a teenager? The guy who he was absolutely positive he was older than? Who he thought was definitely too young for him to flirt with? That guy?
“Yeah… how old did you think I was?” Yoongi looks over at him, eyebrows furrowed together. Sure, he’s younger than he looks, but no one has ever had a reaction like this before.
“I definitely didn’t think you were older than me.” It would be embarrassing if he told Yoongi that he thought he was nearly a decade younger than he actually is.
“I think that’s a compliment.”
“You’re actually 27?” Hoseok asks looking at Yoongi again trying to detect a lie. He really doesn’t look like he could possibly be that old. Not that Hoseok should complain. 27 is the perfect age. No, Hoseok, stop thinking like that. His age isn’t the only reason why you haven’t asked him out yet.
“I am,” Yoongi says with a laugh, “Do you want to see my ID?” Now that Hoseok knows he’s not like 6 years older than this guy he looks at Yoongi sitting beside him a lot differently than he had before. He likes the way that Yoongi laughs. A lot. He decides he likes a whole bunch of things about Yoongi now that he’s 27 and not 19. He likes his cheeks, his smile, his eyes, his thighs.
“I thought you knew that,” Yoongi says. When Hoseok glances between him and the road several times, he sees Yoongi blushing.
“You carry a backpack everywhere!” he responds. “I just assumed you were a college student.” It’s entirely possible that he projected what age he wanted Yoongi to be in order to prevent himself from feeling things. He’s not going to let himself think about any of that.
“Well, I’m not,” he says. Christ, Yoongi wonders if this is why Hoseok hasn’t made a move on him yet. Not that he expects him to, but it’s felt like there’s been something there since the day Hoseok stuffed his bear.
Yoongi’s liked him for a lot long than that. Hoseok is beautiful. All of the people he works with are beautiful, but there’s something about Hoseok that just gets to him more than anyone else. It’s probably because of how vibrant and smiley Hoseok is. He’s completely irresistible.
Yoongi bites his lip and only realizes now that they’re on his street. He points to his house and Hoseok, who’s oddly silent, follows his instructions until he pulls into a driveway.
Man, he can’t believe Yoongi has his own little house. He probably rents the place, but it’s still cool to think about living in a house, not sharing your walls with three other apartments. Damn. Namjoon and Seokjin have a house, but that’s because they’re a married couple and married couples are allowed to live in houses. Yoongi living in a house makes Hoseok feel like an even bigger idiot for thinking that Yoongi was so young.
“Thank you for the ride, Hoseok.”
He takes a deep breath and reminds himself that he’s a normal person who’s just talking with his friend. He can do this. “Yeah, any time, honestly. I can also pick you up before work if we have similar schedules too, Yoongi. I don’t like thinking that you have to call an Uber just to get to work.”
“Well, I usually take the bus,” he says. “But it doesn’t run this late, so…” Yoongi isn’t sure why he’s not getting out of the car. Maybe he’s waiting for Hoseok to lean over the gear stick to kiss him goodnight. He knows it isn’t going to happen even as he daydreams about it.
“Thanks again,” Yoongi says after a silence fills the car for way too long. Hoseok smiles at him, and for some reason, his smile doesn’t seem entirely genuine. Yoongi wonders why that is. He doesn’t think he did anything wrong, and yet he feels as though he must have. Hoseok is always so alive and bright. Maybe he’s just tired, Yoongi assures himself.
Whatever the case, he pulls his backpack up from the floor by his feet and opens the car door. If he can’t spend the night with Hoseok than he might as well go spend the night with Little Hoseok.
***
Jimin is beating the shit out of him at Mario Kart. Hoseok can usually beat him with one hand behind his back, but he’s been very much off his game the past few days. He’s too distracted by the bag of chips resting against his thigh to look at the screen for too long. He’s also distracted by the fact that the excuse he made for why he can’t like Yoongi has fallen apart. It’s been very inconvenient for him to recognize the fact that there are no barriers between him liking Yoongi anymore.
Honestly, it was so easy to just assume Yoongi was too young for him. Assuming he can’t is a whole lot simpler than wondering if he can.  
“Did you break your hand and not tell me about it?” Jimin asks, looking over at him.
“Hmm?”
“You suck,” Jimin says, pointing to the screen. “It’s no fun when you let me win. I’d rather you beat me fair and square.”
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“Oh,” he says, and blinks a few times, trying to invest himself in the game. It’s pushing one in the morning and all he can think about is how Yoongi spent his lunchbreak at Build-A-Bear today. He’s starting to melt into their circle like butter. Even though the store had been busy as all hell, Yoongi still sat by. Hoseok offered to let him sit on the floor in the store, and he sheepishly accepted, just so that he could escape being around people for a little while. Hoseok stood in the middle of the concourse helping to stitch up animals while Yoongi looked up at him eating his food. He looked like a goddamn dumpling and all Hoseok could think of was squishing his little cheeks. Also, he admitted to liking Daily Dog Digest and that’s the most Hoseok could ever ask for in a man.
“Did you know that Yoongi is 27?”
“Yeah,” Jimin says, unfazed.
“What? Really? You knew?”
“Uh, yeah,” he says, like it’s obvious. “Did you not know? Wait, how old did you think he was?”
“I thought… I don’t really want to admit,” he says.
“So does you thinking he was younger have anything to do with why you haven’t asked him out yet?”
“Please don’t do this to me again,” he sighs, putting the controller down because he simply cannot think with all of this Yoongi in his head. “It’s just… I haven’t dated anyone in so long. The last time I had a boyfriend was in college, Jimin. We talked about this a few weeks ago, and it’s starting to fester rather inconveniently for me. You were the last date I went on. You! You and I went on one date and gave up halfway through. Hell, we split the goddamn bill! You don’t split the bill on a date. I don’t even know what it’s like being in a relationship as an adult; I don’t know how to do it.”
Jimin blinks. “So… you see yourself wanting a relationship with Yoongi?” Is that really all Jimin got out of that?
“I’m just terrified of disappointing someone since I don’t know how to be in a couple. I don’t know what to, what to say. I just don’t know.”
“It’s not that hard, you know. Treating someone well is the easiest thing in the world, and you’re already my best friend so I know you can do that part,” Jimin says. “Dating is just like having a best friend, except closer, physically and emotionally.”
“You can call it easy because you’ve done it!” Hoseok says. “My longest relationship lasted for a month.”
“Bottom of the line, Hoseok. Do you like him? Do you want a relationship with Yoongi?”
“That’s what I think about whenever I see him, yeah. He’s completely my type, and he’s so goddamn pretty,” Hoseok thinks about Yoongi’s pretty lips and his neck and his goddamn hands. Also, the small smile and embarrassed laugh he does when you say something nice about him, and the fact that it’s hard to catch him not sneaking sips of iced coffee when he’s at work. “But Jimin, I don’t think you understand how scared I am that I feel this way. I thought I liked being single. But now, here I am, and all I can think about is him. I don’t even know how to ask someone out.”
Jimin makes a thoughtful face. “You could try just asking him?”
Hoseok’s eyes bulge out in terror. “But what if he doesn’t like me back! What if I ruin our friendship and then he leaves the group chat, and then he quits his job all because I made things awkward between us and we never see him again?”
“Did that happen when you and I dated?” Jimin says, giving him an eyebrow.
“Well, no, but-”
“Just ask him,” Jimin says. “Here’s what happens if he doesn’t like you back: you ask me him out, and he says no. You’re both adults who can be mature about it. We went on a date, it didn’t work out, now we’re best friends. You’re literally the friendliest person I know, you’ll be fine. Just ask him out.”
“I don’t know how!”
“Do you want me to do it for you?”
“I’ll cut your balls off in your sleep,” Hoseok says. Jimin just blinks at him, not particularly surprised by this threat.
“I could at least make sure he’s single for you?”
Hoseok considers that. He really is terrified. The feelings he has inside of him are new. College boyfriends aren’t real boyfriends, just like Jimin said. Or at least, they weren’t for Hoseok. Most of his boyfriends were stress relievers between tests when he just needed to fuck something, or he’d pull his hair out. He’s moved on from that life, thank god. His stress levels are actually minimal which is an amazing feeling that he never thought he’d achieve. Yoongi’s presence has made his stress levels heighten back to the days when he had projects and tests due.
What would dating him be like? Does he pay for meals, open car doors, hold hands? The most important of all questions: does he like to cuddle? Christ, he wants to cuddle someone so much. That’s what he most wants in a relationship actually, someone to cuddle him. He wants to be a big spoon and hide under a blanket when it’s cold outside and hold his boyfriend like a teddy bear. Maybe that’s why he has such an addiction to buying bears; he just wants to hold someone.
“Only if you do it subtly.”
“How about ‘when was the last time you got laid?’” Jimin asks. Hoseok blinks at him. “Alright, I’ll workshop it.”
“I will kill you if you fuck this up for me, Jimin.” Hoseok is saying things without consulting his brain first. Caution is being thrown at the wind. Right now, he just needs to get the ball rolling with Jimin before he chickens out and tries to pretend he doesn’t have feelings for Yoongi. Besides, if Jimin finds out he’s not single, maybe that will put his crush to rest. Or even if he is single, that doesn’t mean that Hoseok has to go for it, right?
“So, you are going to try with him? You’re not just going to say you will and then chicken out?”
Hoseok makes a face. Jimin���s words are deserved, but he feels a little like a child, and he’s supposed to be the older one. “We’ll see.”
“I just want you to be happy, Hoseokie. You’ve never acted this way before. You’ve never had an actual crush since I’ve known you. I think it would be awesome for you to have someone in your life. Maybe I’ll even get a boyfriend too, so we can go on double dates. Oh, or triple dates if we invite Jin and Joon.”
Hoseok rolls his eyes. If Jimin just opened his eyes a little bit, he’d realize there’s someone who would trip over his own tongue in order to date him. If Hoseok were to date Yoongi, wouldn’t that mean Jimin has to open up about Taehyung?
Maybe they’re both hopeless.
***
Yoongi rests his head on his hand, bending over the counter with the most bored expression conceivably possible. Across the hallway, Seokjin is helping a family with three kids while one of Seokjin’s high school employees is spraying and wiping down the store. It’s almost closing time, but since it’s a Tuesday, the mall is completely dead. Namjoon is the kind of manager, god bless him, who doesn’t start closing the store down until 8:01. The other two managers get ready to shut things down ten minutes before close, but Namjoon is very by the book.
Nevertheless, he has started counting the register while Yoongi daydreams about his bed. He misses his bed, but Yoongi missing his bed is the baseline of his existence.
Yoongi looks over at Namjoon who’s trying to get work done but can’t seem to tear his eyes away from his husband across the hall. It must be hard seeing him all day and not getting to be with him. He supposes that he understands both Namjoon and Seokjin’s perspectives in how easy it would be to fall in love with either of them. They make a lot of sense; you just can’t tell until they’re stood beside each other. Namjoon is a great person when Seokjin isn’t around, but once Seokjin is around him, they both lose most of their braincells and resort to jokes, giggles, and helpless ease. Namjoon is less serious around Seokjin, who is never serious to begin with. Seokjin only gets louder and more confident. They’re the love story that you don’t believe is possible until you see it.
He wonders what Hoseok is like in a relationship. He’s already at a level 100, he might make people go blind if he were to be in a relationship, but Yoongi would like it. He wants someone who’s personality is that bright to counterbalance his tendencies toward laziness. Yoongi’s hand would probably fit very nicely into Hoseok’s. He wouldn’t be the cute one in the relationship, but that’s okay. He’d be able to show off his boyfriend to everyone and they would be jealous of him.
“Can you count this for me?” Namjoon asks him, pointing at coins in the register. He nods and focuses on the coins instead of on the very real hollowness in his chest that soars through him every time he thinks about Hoseok. Yoongi confirms the number with Namjoon and double checks all of his other counting when he asks.
Namjoon starts closing down the register once everything’s counted and Yoongi turns to look around. He already cleaned up everything because they’ve been so slow. Now it’s just a matter of waiting out the clock.
“Namjoon, you’ve been friends with Hoseok for a while, haven’t you?”
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“Nearly a decade,” he nods, not really looking up from what he’s doing. “Why do you ask?”
“No reason,” he shrugs. Then he starts to doubt himself. He could just ask… he could just be honest and ask Namjoon what he thinks. Namjoon seems like the kind of guy who can keep a secret. And yeah, he is Yoongi’s boss, but only during work hours. With the number of times he’s seen Namjoon use memes in the group chat, it’s very difficult for him not to think of him as a friend.
“Actually, maybe I do have a reason.”
Namjoon looks up at him. Instead of asking a question, he just gives him an inquisitive look. Namjoon has too much control over his eyebrows.
“Is he single?” Yoongi asks, not bothering to decorate the question.
Namjoon is taken aback. He blinks at Yoongi like he’s a new species of animal that has never been seen before. “He’s very single.”
“What does ‘very single’ mean?”
“That he hasn’t dated in over five years. His life sort of revolves around his job,” Namjoon says. “Do you… well, I guess I mean obviously you do or you wouldn’t have asked. You like him?”
Yoongi nods. “Yeah.”
“Well…” Namjoon considers it. He likes Yoongi, he’s a very nice guy, but Hoseok is obviously his best friend in the world besides Seokjin. But he could see it. Actually, he can see it easily. He can picture a way too loud Hoseok clinging to a quiet, concise Yoongi. They’d be a perfect balance of calm and energy. “You’d certainly be taking on an interesting case. He’s certainly out of practice when it comes to dating.”
Yoongi’s mouth forms a straight line. “I don’t think I care.”
“Well then,” he nods. “You don’t need my blessing or anything, but I think you two would make senses. He’s my best friend, Yoongi. I would do anything for that guy, literally anything in the entire world.”
“So, you’ll kill me if I broke his heart, basically?”
“Something like that, yeah.”
Yoongi laughs. “You’re not very threatening, Namjoon.”
“Fair,” he shrugs. Namjoon looks at him with a pleased expression. Maybe Namjoon actually really does want him to go after Hoseok? Everyone wants their friends to find love, though, right? And if Namjoon says they would make a good pair, well that’s the best he could possibly ask for.
“You’re not going to tell anyone, right?” he asks.
“Of course not,” Namjoon looks almost offended. “Not even Jin. You have my word.”
“Good,” Yoongi nods. “Then I also have another question.”
“Yeah?”
“A little while ago, Jimin asked me if I was single. You don’t think he likes me, do you? Because it’s not that I don’t like Jimin, but I just, like I really like Hoseok, and-”
“Jimin is definitely not interested in you,” Namjoon says. “But in just the same way that I won’t tell anyone your secret, I can’t give you any more information than that.”
Yoongi nods. “I see.” So, if Jimin, the roommate of Hoseok, wants to know if Yoongi’s single that might mean that Hoseok asked him to find out, right? In which case, Hoseok likes him back? Not like that part isn’t obvious. Yoongi scrunches up his face. What is he going to do with this information?
***
“You’re still making music?” Hoseok asks excitedly. They’re sitting at the food court, Yoongi with his Panda Express which Taehyung turned him onto, and Hoseok with a packed lunch, because he’s thrifty.
“Well, it’s not… it’s not good music.”
“Are you a SoundCloud rapper, Yoongi?”
“What? No!” He gets very defensive at the thought of it. Not that there’s anything inherently wrong with people who are, but he has big plans. He has big, big plans. He’s not going to be a lifer at Applebee’s or Orange Julius. He’s going to be the next big thing. Well, he’s going to be the next big thing after the next big thing who’s after the next big thing. It’s a work in progress. It’s hard to become a famous rapper when you haven’t even finished a demo tape yet.
“I don’t need to ask you if you’re any good,” Hoseok says, taking a bite out of his food. “I already know you are.”
He blushes, “how could you possibly know that?”
“Because you’re Yoongi.”
Yoongi doesn’t bite his lip. He absolutely does not bite his lip. He looks at his food, messing around with the chopsticks and trying to calm his heartbeat. Why does Hoseok look into him like that?
It’s very unclear why neither of them has made a move on the other. How many months have they known each other? Two? Three? They’re both too stupid to know how to deal with their feelings for each other. Yoongi is a hard person to read, so Hoseok truly doesn’t know if Yoongi feels anything for him. Hoseok’s heart is on his sleeve, there’s no getting around that. Everyone who knows probably knows that he likes Yoongi. But Yoongi talks way more to Hoseok than he does to anyone else in the group so it’s more difficult for him to figure out if it’s mutual. Now Yoongi does of course suspect that Hoseok likes him, but there’s a whole lot of tumblers that need to move into place before you can tell someone you like them. Unless you’re Seokjin in which case balls to the wall.
“I haven’t finished anything yet. I’ve been working on demos for years now. They’re either never right or they’re never finished.”
“Hm, but see,” Hoseok says, “the more time you spend on something, the more you see what’s wrong with it. If you take a step back or let someone else see it – or hear it, as the case may be – they won’t see all the problems that you see.”
“Are you trying to tell me that you want to hear my music?”
Hoseok gives him a look that is almost annoyed. “Um… duh.”
“It’s really not polished or perfect or anything like that.”
“You’re selling yourself short. Have you ever played your music for anyone before?”
“No… or I mean, I guess I played it for a few professors in college, but that was really rough stuff. I’ve kind of tried to erase that from my memory. And computer.” Yoongi went to school for sound design and a hodge-podge of various music production minors. All this is something they’ve discussed before, but he’s never told Hoseok that he’s actually still making music. Hoseok might have guessed it, but there’s something special about Yoongi saying it out loud. Like he trusts him.
“When are you going to become famous and forget me, Yoongi?” he says wistfully.
“Oh, I’ll never forget you.” Well that sounds a little gay.
Hoseok doesn’t notice it, he just grins.
“You’re going to play your music for me someday. Right, Yoongi?” Usually, it’s Yoongi who likes to say Hoseok’s name too much. He can’t help it, Hoseok’s name tastes just right on his tongue.
“Maybe someday…”
***
Hoseok hates waking up before eight in the morning, but here he is, sitting across from Seokjin on a phone call with their district manager. They didn’t meet their sales goal the last month and every time that happens, they have to have a meeting with her, but thankfully, she’s far too lazy to travel to them.
Hoseok is running on a cup of coffee which tastes like the dredges of the old coffee maker that he and Jimin refuse to replace. Seokjin looks like he was pulled out of a sewer recently, because if there’s anyone who is less of a morning person than him, it’s Jin. It’s a mercy that the store doesn’t open before 11 or they probably would have killed each other by now.
“We’ve been working on our DPT, but no matter what bait I throw into the sea, I can’t force the fish to bite it,” Seokjin explains. “We’ve been working with all our associates on this, and I’ve been seeing a subtle increase the first week of this month.”
Hoseok doesn’t speak the same language that Seokjin does. Hoseok makes bears, asks customers if they want to put things in the bears, and gets them all dressed up. Sure, he can define retail terms for you, but that’s not where his expertise lies.
This phone call is a lot of Seokjin talking and Hoseok nodding in agreement which she can’t see over the phone. The district manager complains and they both roll their eyes at each other, because she’s never even worked in a store before. Both of them have literally worked at Build-A-Bear for longer than she has, it’s just that they’ve both turned down any promotions that would land them into her spot. What’s the point of working at Build-A-Bear if you don’t get to literally build bears? That’s like working at a zoo to water the grass.
“What upselling techniques are we using?” she asks like she’s talking to two children. Hoseok is just glad it’s a phone call and she’s not here personally, because she and Seokjin do not get along very well. People that don’t get along with Seokjin are a very rare breed, but it’s happened a few times.
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They give her the answers she wants to hear. She talks at them rather than to them for another several minutes, detailing the metrics for specific days like they’re both supposed to remember what happened on the sixteenth of last month that made them miss goal. She also tries to single out individual employees which they don’t stand for. Even if their high school employees aren’t their best pals and refused to join the group chat, they are still their hires and their people. Unsurprisingly, she praises Taehyung’s numbers because Taehyung could sell water to a fish.
Eventually they get off the call with her and Seokjin makes an exasperated sound and then puts his head face down on the table. The mall is empty right now and it will be for another hour or so, which is good because Seokjin’s sound echoes throughout the lonely hallway.
“I can’t with that woman,” he shakes his head. “It’s not my fault that the Kang family doesn’t want to spend sixty bucks on scents and accessories.”
“It’s fine. It’s whatever,” Hoseok says. Seokjin has a spreadsheet in front of him looking down at things he’s highlighted. The store isn’t any actual danger. It’s not like missing a month is going to shut them down, but the iron grip of the higher ups gets tight whenever they’re even a few dollars off. They only missed their monthly goal by less than three thousand, which is almost nothing at all. Bureaucracy needs to understand that they don’t have complete control over what customers want.
Seokjin puts his hands to his temples and tries to rub sleep out of his eyes before shaking his head like a dog. “The children have exams coming up.” He often calls their high school employee’s children, because why not? He still sometimes still calls Jungkook a child too. “I got a whole bunch of availability changes which are going to fuck with our hours.”
“It’s not like I have much of a life outside of here anyway,” Hoseok laughs. He doesn’t have a boyfriend, so what’s he really missing out on by being at work? He’d rather be at the store doing something and getting paid for it than to be in his apartment doing nothing and making nothing. Also, whenever he has free time, Jimin pesters him for not coming to the community center to practice dancing.
Seokjin on the other hand has a husband. They coordinate their schedules so that they can see each other as much as possible. Changes in scheduling are always tough on him because of that. This means that Hoseok usually takes on more hours than he probably should, but as has been well established, he doesn’t have much of a life anyway.
“We’re going to need to start hiring for the holidays,” Seokjin says. “I’d like to get four or five seasonal and keep on three of them.”
“Got it,” Hoseok nods. Between the two of them, Hoseok is the one who would better be termed as the ‘hiring manager.’ He’s a good judge of character and tends to see the potential in everyone. It’s a lot easier to hire at Build-A-Bear than it is at Orange Julius, because there aren’t two assholes scaring people so much that they quit.
“I also think I’d like to hire on Yoongi. See if we can’t steal him from Applebee’s.”
“No!” Hoseok says so quickly that he surprises himself. “You can’t do that.”
Seokjin raises his eyebrow. “Why not?”
“Don’t make me say it.” Is Seokjin playing dumb or is he actually dumb?
The two of them look at each other for several seconds. Seokjin’s tired, puffy eyes meet Hoseok’s more alert ones.
“Say what?” Seokjin asks, and it occurs to Hoseok that he might genuinely have no clue. Jimin sees right through him, but that’s because he lives with the guy. Jungkook can also tell, because Jungkook is kind of superhuman.
Hoseok groans, knowing that there’s nothing he can do to avoid admitting it at this point. Yoongi is obviously a perfect candidate for the job. He hates working at Applebee’s, he’s already a part of the family, he has great work ethic, and he’s easy to get along with. He’s a hiring manager’s dream.
He wishes he didn’t have to tell Seokjin, because he’ll give Hoseok endless shit for falling for one of their friends. Now, to be fair, he’ll give Hoseok endless shit for dating anyone since he’s had one boyfriend in the time Seokjin has known him, but that was too many years ago to count on one hand.
Hoseok sighs and looks at a spot behind him. “It would be totally inappropriate for a manager to date one of his employees.”
Seokjin’s eyes open wide. He’s normally a much smarter person than this, Hoseok honestly can’t believe he didn’t figure this out. “You and Yoongi are-”
“No, we’re not. But if he works for us, we won’t be able to, and I need… I need…”
“Okay, absolutely. No hiring Yoongi,” Seokjin says, resolutely, but only because he wants all the dirt now. “How long have you liked him? When are you going to ask him out? When are you getting married?”
“I don’t know, I don’t know, and I don’t know. Maybe I’ve liked him since I met him? I just think he’s pretty and funny and sweet and serious in all the right ways.” It’s been well over a month since Jimin reported back to him of Yoongi’s singleness, and Hoseok has done absolutely nothing at all to change that fact. Yoongi should not be single. But also, no one should ever be allowed to date Yoongi besides Hoseok.
“How did I not know about this?” he asks. Seokjin looks fully devastated. How could he, the man who prides himself in being in everyone’s business, not have realized that his own friend, his own coworker, his own godfather to the adopted children he doesn’t even have yet, is in love with one of his other friends? This is just unbelievable. He needs to step up his game. If he doesn’t have gossip to fling, then what is the real purpose of his life?
“Are you in love?” he asks. Seokjin tries to use a tone that sounds teasing to cover up the mild panic he has over that fact that he didn’t see straight through Hoseok in the first place.
“No, of course not!” Hoseok says. “We haven’t even gone on a date. I don’t even know if he likes me. I mean, I think he might like me, but I can’t know for certain. All I know is that my feelings are super legit. Like, I feel serious about this.”
“You having a crush on my husband serious or…?”
“Okay first of all, I knew Namjoon first, and second, no, it’s not like that at all. This feeling I have is so serious it hurts. It’s ‘I feel like I’m going to die whenever I’m around him but I kind of like it’ serious. ‘He makes my ears blush whenever I even think about his name’ serious. ‘I think about him in the shower’ serious.” All of those statements hit home, but probably the shower one goes the furthest for Seokjin.
“Whoa.”
“Yeah.”
“Whoa.”
“Yeah!”
“You’re not just going to sit on your tail and do nothing, are you?” Seokjin asks. “You’ve got to make a move. What are you waiting for?”
This is why he didn’t want to tell Seokjin. He doesn’t want to deal with both Jimin and Seokjin knowing at the same time. He could easily take care of their constant pestering him if he were to just go and make a move on Yoongi, but making a move requires confidence and balls, and he’s not sure if he has either.
“It’s scary! What if he doesn’t feel the same way and I ruin our friendship? I’m terrified! I haven’t dated anyone in years. It’s just nerve wracking.”
Seokjin shakes his head. “I asked Joon out like two weeks after meeting him.” Hoseok remembers that. He was gutted. He was even more gutted when he saw how much they were made for each other, in a way that he never was made for Namjoon. He feels differently about Yoongi, because he can look back on the way he felt about Namjoon and it feels very juvenile. It feels like a little kid had that crush on Namjoon. He was basically a kid back then, he was still in high school and had had one boyfriend in his life, which lasted about two weeks.
Yoongi is different. A lot different. His hunger for Yoongi’s words, body, voice – his everything rampages through Hoseok’s entire body. He forgets how to breathe around him.
“I’m not you, Jin! I’m not as confident!”
“Well, obviously. No one is. No one has the right to be, I’m perfect,” Seokjin loves talking about himself and his sentence drifts off until he remembers that they’re discussing Hoseok, not him. “You have to rip the band aid off, Hoseok. Just ask him out. Tell him he’s pretty. Buy him chocolate. You know how I asked Joon out for the first time? I marched on over to Orange Julius, told him how pretty he is, and we went on a date as soon as his shift was over. That’s how you’ve got to do it.”
“Okay, but I’ve already known Yoongi for a few months, so I think it’s a bit late for that.”
Seokjin is more aggravated now than he was on the phone call with their district manager. Seokjin is a punch-you-in-the-face-“that’s life” kind of a guy.
“You just have to do it,” he says eventually. “There’s no pomp and circumstance. Just tell him you like him. Do it however you want. You’ll probably be a fumbling mess and it’ll be cringey as all hell, but you have to. What if Yoongi is your Namjoon? If I was you and I thought even for a second that I could feel the way I do about someone that Seokjin does about his husband, I don’t think I could waste a minute. That’s how I landed the best man in the world, Hoseok.”
“You’re probably right,” Hoseok says, shaking his head. “Yeah. You probably are right.”
***
Hoseok is waiting for Jungkook’s shift to be over so that they can go get noodles. It’s Jungkook’s turn to buy and Hoseok has been waiting literally all day to get some goddamn food in his face. All he’s had so far is a very sad packed lunch and smoothie that Jimin may or may not have spit in because Hoseok ate his leftovers last night. He certainly threatened to spit in the smoothie, but whether he did or didn’t is largely dependent on where Namjoon’s eyes were at the time.
Hoseok is hiding in the back of Hot Topic next to the socks, pretending like he works here which anyone would be able to tell is not true because he isn’t wearing a black T-shirt with a band logo on it. Jungkook, who actually does work here, is ringing up two white girls who very clearly have a thing for him, so Hoseok crouches down because he doesn’t want to deal with them seeing that he is also a very pretty boy. He has girls like that at his store all the time, and it’s very weird being flirted with by girls when you’re building a teddy bear for them. Jimin has the worst of it, because he’s Instagram famous and sometimes gets recognized. Hoseok needs a boy to hold hands with to scare off girls whenever the situation arises. Jimin will do that for him anytime he asks because of their shared problem, but Hoseok also wants to be able to kiss whoever’s hand he holds, and he doesn’t want to kiss Jimin ever.
Staring at the wall of clothes, he wonders vacantly if he would look good in fishnets when a voice from behind him says his name. Hoseok’s entire body clenches and he turns around to see the prettiest boy of them all. He constantly thinks about Yoongi when they’re not near each other. It’s hard not to. He still doesn’t know if he’s going to attempt anything with him, but he knows that he certainly wants to.
“Hey, Yoongi, how are you?” he says, trying to act casual. Why is he trying to act casual when Yoongi is his friend and he acts casual around him all the time? That’s what having friends is like. So why does it feel like this all of a sudden? He hasn’t been avoiding Yoongi, but he certainly hasn’t been seeking him out. It’s been a little over a week since he came clean to Seokjin, and he has very much gotten used to Seokjin’s heavy gaze on him. It feels like the clock is ticking now with two people – and also probably Jungkook – knowing about his crush.
It’s not like things have changed. He’s given Yoongi a ride back to his house twice just in the past week and that hasn’t been weird. A little uncomfortable when he looks too closely at his face and feels his insides melt, but he’s living through it.
But right now, well… Yoongi isn’t in his work clothes right now. Hoseok has never seen him outside of work clothes before, because he would remember it if he had. Usually, Yoongi is in baggy black pants that don’t show off his assets, and he has the signature blue shirt – Hoseok has always wondered why it’s not, you know, orange.
This Yoongi is a breed of creature he was not and will never be prepared for. His jeans are black and way too skinny, with giant holes in the knees, and Hoseok confirms that Yoongi has indeed been walking around on chicken legs this entire time. The rest of the look isn’t intimidating in anyway, it’s just very nice seeing him look like a normal human person who is attractive and knows how to dress. Hoseok nearly has a heart attack when he notices that his piercings are in. Hoseok needs a life alert, because he is about to fall and he will not be getting back up. His heart is going to give out. He’s going to die right here in this Hot Topic because of Yoongi, and he doesn’t know what to do.
“Yoongi!” he says, his voice sounds breathy and he hates it.
“You into stockings?” he laughs, pointing at the display directly behind him to a pair of stockings with cats on them.
Hoseok blushes furiously, and shakes his head, “no, no, no. I’m just waiting for Jungkook’s shift to end.” He points over at Jungkook who is trying to bat off the girls as politely as possible without pulling out a spray bottle.
Yoongi gives him a wide smile. “I know, I was just teasing you.” Something is different about Yoongi today. Maybe it’s because he’s in human clothes rather than work clothes. He seems happier, brighter, more excited. Hoseok is barely able to stay sane being around Yoongi when Yoongi is bored out of his mind at work, so how is he going to handle a Yoongi who’s this sexy?
Hoseok is now self-conscious that Yoongi is here looking like an entire buffet while he’s in black dress pants and a dull white T-shirt. No one wants to fuck a guy dressed like this, and he wishes to god that Yoongi knew he has an actual fashion sense when he’s at home. Not like he ever gets to show that off because he works almost every day of the week.
“What, uh, brings you by?” Hoseok asks.
“Well, I actually work just a few stores down,” he says. Hoseok fakes a laugh that is so plastic that it makes Jungkook turn his head as he’s trying to shoo away the girls. Hoseok wants to bury himself in a very deep grave.
“It’s just- you’re not… I mean you’re dressed a little differently,” Hoseok tries to play it cool, but that mission failed several minutes ago before Yoongi even walked up to him.
“Well I had to buy a few things before my shift started, and I hate walking around like a corporate whore,” he says, and then gestures to his backpack. “I’ll change before I actually have to clock in.”
“Oh, okay,” he nods. “When is your shift? Jungkook and I are getting food.”
Yoongi pulls his phone from his pocket to check the time. “An hour. The bus schedule doesn’t really take into account my own schedule.”
“Yeah, yeah,” he nods. In his right mind, he should be far away from Yoongi when he’s looking this dangerous, but he can’t help himself. He wants all the time with Yoongi he can get, even if it means he just looks at his piercings and exposed knees. “So, would you want to get food with us? Me and Jungkook, I mean.”
“Yeah, absolutely!” Yoongi says, because he was waiting for Hoseok to ask him that since he mentioned food. Hoseok smiles sweetly at him and is saved from trying to form words when Jungkook pops up behind Yoongi. Jungkook is too smiley to be too punk rock. Also, he listens to a lot of pop music. He gets made fun of for his music taste a lot at Hot Topic, but he’s still intimidating because he’s Jungkook and you can even see how ripped he is through most of his shirts.
“I’m off the clock!” He says happily. “Hi Yoongi!” Yoongi waves back at him. Hoseok doesn’t see them interact too much because Jungkook doesn’t work down the hall like the rest of them, but they seem to get along just fine whenever they’re together.
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“Jungkook, is it, uh, okay if Yoongi comes to get food with us?”
“Sure,” Jungkook says, unphased. Hoseok doesn’t know why he thought he might say no. “Just give me one second to go grab my things,” he says, and then squeezes past Hoseok in the trademark Hot Topic aisles which are way too narrow. Hoseok looks to see that the two girls have left and one of Jungkook’s coworkers who has more facial piercings than Hoseok has brain cells is now manning the register.
If Yoongi is coming along, they’ll have to eat at the food court. He and Jungkook were going to get black bean noodles at a restaurant on the other side of town, but if they were to do that, they wouldn’t be able to get back in time for Yoongi’s shift, and he desperately needs to be near Yoongi right now so that he can fully drink in this look of his. If for nothing else, he needs to engrave pierced Yoongi into his mind.
“Did you have a good day?” Yoongi asks.
“Yeah, kind of long, though. Glad it’s over. Er, sorry,” he says, remembering that Yoongi’s shift hasn’t started yet, and the poor guy must be closing if he’s going in at this hour.
“Don’t worry about it,” Yoongi says. He can tell what he’s doing to Hoseok. Hoseok is trying to be subtle about it, but he’s very much checking Yoongi out. And Yoongi knows exactly how to drive the nail into Hoseok’s coffin. “Cool if we go over there? I’ve got to go get some earrings, that’s actually why I came in.”
Hoseok gulps physically and audibly. Yeah, Yoongi had a feeling that would work. Hoseok follows after him as Yoongi goes to look at the display case with all the various earrings. Hoseok’s mouth is very dry as Yoongi crouches down to look at them. Hoseok isn’t okay, he wants a pretty boy with piercings and squishy cheeks and who wears jeans with holes in them. Does Yoongi even know how pretty he looks right now? Does Namjoon know what he’s robbing the world of by not letting him have his earrings in? Hoseok doesn’t feel good.
“Ready?” Jungkook again pops up, and Hoseok startles, both because he’s a scaredy cat, and because he was too concentrated on Yoongi to hear him approach.
“Can you open the case for me to get some piercings, Jungkook?” Yoongi asks, standing up straight again.
Jungkook gives an exasperated sigh, “I’ve already clocked out for the day, Yoongi.” Yoongi pouts his bottom lip. Jungkook isn’t bothered but Hoseok’s lifespan reduces by at least a year at the sight.
“Fine, fine,” he says, and then goes over to his heavily pierced coworker to ask for her keys. He returns and Yoongi points to the ones he wants. Hoseok decides that the ceiling looks lovely this time of year. He drifts off to stand near the doors, trying to recover while Yoongi pays for his things and Jungkook stays to let him use his employee discount, which he’s not allowed to do, but Hot Topic employees ain’t snitches.
Hoseok has to breathe deeply. He can do this. He sees hot guys all of the time, they just walk around the mall. But this is a hot guy who also happens to be his friend, so he knows he likes his personality. Hoseok will be fine someday. He just needs hot tea and a fireplace to sit beside while he grapples with existence.
They meet him at the door and Hoseok smiles at Yoongi, completely disregarding Jungkook’s existence.
“All set?”
Yoongi nods, and Jungkook stares at the two of them with a facial expression that doesn’t have a word. He’s judging them both for their very obvious attraction towards each other. Yet neither of them has said anything, because surely, if they had, everyone in the mall would’ve heard about it by now. Inter-mall dating is a serious topic. That time the girl from the Foot Locker started dating the guy from the Go! Calendars store was monumental. Namjoon and Seokjin are sometimes revered as gods amongst men.
“It’s my turn to buy food,” Hoseok says.
“I thought it was my-”
“Nope, it’s mine,” he says, giving Jungkook a pleasant but evil stare. Of all the people who could find out about him having a crush on Yoongi, Jungkook is the least worrying. Jungkook isn’t going to tease him, he’s Jungkook.
Hoseok looks at Yoongi’s hand as they walk out of the store. It looks like it would be nice to hold. It’s either intentional or pure luck that Jungkook decides to walk behind the two of them. Jungkook just wants to see what will happen.
“How is your demo coming along?” Hoseok asks.
“It’s pretty much the same as it was a month or a year ago, I’m just trying to make it more and more perfect,” Yoongi shrugs. He works on his music pretty much every day, but he’s only one person, so it feels as though every second of every song takes an eternity. Someone who has access to support and money would be able to make something of all the effort he’s put into his music, but he’s literally all by himself in his house doing his best. The only reason he lives in a house is so that he can make music at all hours of the night without neighbors complaining about the noise levels, and that means he has to work two jobs. It’s a nightmare. Maybe he’ll date Hoseok and then he’ll move in with Yoongi, and then they have two salaries so he won’t have to work two jobs, and then he’ll release his solo album and everyone in the world will buy it and he’ll be famous and he’ll show off Hoseok as his date on red carpets. He’s getting a little ahead of himself.
“I’m sure it’s better than you think it is. You know, if you spend so much time with something, you begin to find flaws that aren’t there. It’s like looking at your face in the mirror every day. You see your nose and think, ‘huh, I wish I had a better nose’ but then people around you think you have a really great nose. It’s just that you don’t see it, because you have to look at it every day and you get tired.”
“I like your nose,” Yoongi says, and Hoseok rolls his eyes and nudges him. Not wanting to be the only one on the chopping block, he says, “You, Hoseok, should dance more often.”
Jungkook pitches in, “he’s right you know, Hoseokie.”
“Okay, I dance! I dance all the time.”
“You don’t,” Jungkook says, shaking his head. “Jimin said you never stop by the community center anymore, and it’s not like you’re stomping around on your third-floor apartment, are you?”
“It’s just… I mean,” If Hoseok were a computer, he would need a hard-reset right about now. “I didn’t know I was going to get this sort of pressure put on me today.”
“Come on, how do you keep that kind of passion inside?” he asks. “As an artist, it’s hard to keep your creativity down.”
“I just invest my life and soul into that store,” Hoseok says. “I really, really do. I care so much about my job. I know it’s stupid. People who are married to their job are usually in offices or whatever, and here I am, making teddy bears for a living, but I love it.”
“You don’t need to work so much,” Jungkook says. “You never have days off.” Hoseok purses his lips. He has days off! One a week usually, but that still counts! Right?
“It does seem like you work too much,” Yoongi says. Hoseok really didn’t think he was going to get interrogated on his way to the food court. He spares himself from having to talk about it anymore when the smell of food hits them like a wall. Hoseok uses it as an excuse to jog over to the small food court to give a quick survey of his options. Panda Express, arbitrary not Panda Express but wishes they were, arbitrary burger place, arbitrary healthy option, and arbitrary pretzel place. Hoseok’s feet decide on a burger before his brain does.
He doesn’t check but Yoongi follows him while Jungkook aims his sights on the Panda Express wannabe, because they have better noodles. Hoseok said he was buying, but apparently it’s only Yoongi he’s paying for.
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“Is there a reason for why you work as much as you do?” Yoongi asks.
“I think I just work in order to have something to do,” he says. The line to the burger place is a few people long so they have a few minutes to talk. Yoongi doesn’t even know if he wants a burger. He’d probably prefer a pretzel. His biggest preference is being near Hoseok.
“You could spend that time dancing,” he says. “I’ve seen a lot of people do dance covers on the internet. I wish you would do something like that. I think if I were to try to keep my love for creating music inside, I’d probably be just… well honestly, I’d be so depressed. I wonder if you ever feel like something’s missing?”
“I really do just spend all of my time at work. Like, all of it. I don’t think I should even tell you how much overtime I put in, because I think you’d choke.”
“You need to relax, Hoseok,” Yoongi says. Maybe you should find a boyfriend. Someone who’s standing right beside you perhaps. “You know you’re going to burn out eventually if you do that for too long.”
“I guess someday,” he shrugs. “I’ll find a good reason to take a few steps back from work.” Like maybe a boyfriend. Maybe someone who’s standing right beside him.
They order their food and find Jungkook at one of the tables on the edge of the room. They usually sit in the same section of the food court if not at the same table every time. Jungkook is already halfway done with his noodles, watching a video on his phone. Jungkook always looks like a little kid when he’s eating, there’s just something about the way his cheeks puff out and he chews in a pout that makes Hoseok want to give him Werther’s Originals.
“Jimin posts videos of himself dancing to Instagram, Hoseok. You should too,” Jungkook says. Yoongi beams, because he just said the same thing!
“Let me see,” Yoongi asks, gesturing to Jungkook’s phone. Yoongi makes a little aw sound in his throat that he hadn’t planned on when he sees Jimin dancing his goddamn heart out in a big studio with a mirror on the wall. He makes a mental note that he’s going to have to download Instagram now.
Hoseok gets very jealous of Yoongi looking at a video of Jimin, because he’s just as good as Jimin. Yoongi should be watching videos of him dancing. Oh jeez, does he need to download Instagram now?
“He’s good,” Yoongi says, not like it needs to be stated. He is a professional. So is Hoseok, but he doesn’t brag about it, and lift his shirt up for the views.
“Yeah,” Jungkook says looking happy, and taking his phone back.
“Let’s all stop trying to convince Hoseok to drastically change his life today, okay?” Hoseok says.
They nod and move onto other topics such as the woman who came into Hot Topic to ask Jungkook what gauge her nipple piercings were and then proceeded to flash him so that he could give her an answer. He hid in the backroom for like twenty minutes, and hissed at anyone that tried to disturb him, which sounds kind of on brand for Jungkook.
“You know, you could always come back to Build-A-Bear,” Hoseok says. “Jungkook 2 has been keeping your apron clean and ready for you.” Jungkook makes a noise, but it doesn’t sound like he’s brushing him off nearly as much as usual. Wow, nipple lady really got to him.
“The worst thing is that this isn’t the first time this has happened,” Jungkook sighs. “Why do… ugh. These people could just ask when they get pierced, you know? They could ask the piercer what gauge it is before it goes in their body. It’s a Hot Topic, we sell anime and heavy metal shit. I’m not a piercer? I don’t know these things. Why would I know these things? I don’t want to see your nipple. And why do they never ask if it’s okay before they just pull their shirts up? I feel like that’s the kind of thing you need all parties to accept is going to happen before you do it.”
“Ah, the ongoing struggles of being a mall gay,” Hoseok says and holds up his drink as if he’s about to toast to it. Yoongi snorts and covers his face, but Hoseok would probably find it sexy anyway.  
***
“This has come out of nowhere,” Jimin says. He’s very sweaty and out of breath as Hoseok finds a seat on the floor of the studio. It’s Jimin’s room every other weekday from 5 until the community center closes at 10. Perks of working here. Jimin gets to earn money teaching and then has several hours of time where the room is all his, and that’s how he managed to get a few hundreds of thousands of followers on Instagram, posting videos that Yoongi thinks are amazing. That and because of Jimin’s abs which people are into apparently. Hoseok doesn’t have an Instagram because Jimin intimidates him a little bit too much. Jimin is just too good at being perfect. Hoseok has known him for years and still isn’t sure he can name any of his flaws.
“I’m having an emotional crisis,” Hoseok says.
“You’ve been having an emotional crisis ever since I met you. Your whole life is an emotional crisis.”
“I have not! I’m usually never stressed,” Hoseok says.
“Nah, you just think you’re not stressed because you distract yourself with work,” Jimin says. He takes a very long sip of water and then goes to sit beside Hoseok on the floor. Jimin’s the kind of asshole who smells good when he sweats. Piece of shit.
“Christ, did you guys have some sort of summit? Have you all been conspiring to tell me I’m a workaholic who doesn’t have a personal life?”
“Who said that to you? I need to give them a hug.”
“Fuck,” Hoseok says, resting his head on Jimin’s shoulder. He’s sweaty but Hoseok is in distress so he doesn’t care. He could use someone to cuddle; ideally someone with black hair who raps and has cute cheeks and a sweet little smile.
“Alright, low blow. Talk to me, Hoseokie,” Jimin says, putting an arm around him. “What’s got you so panicked?”
“Okay, so Yoongi and Jungkook basically told me that I don’t make enough time for myself, and that I’ve basically given up dancing because I spend too much time at Build-A-Bear,” he says. He dropped Jungkook off at his apartment an hour ago, stewed in the apartment for that hour staring at the TV without turning it on, and then drove directly here. Jimin’s got another class to teach in about thirty minutes, but that’s enough time to vent. It’s enough time to get half of his venting done, at least.  
“I really hate to be an asshole, but you know they’re right, don’t you?”
“I do know they’re right,” Hoseok says, nodding. He hasn’t been here in nearly a year now. He can’t dance in their apartment, because the floors are just too thin, so it’s been about a year since he last did, he always credits dancing as being his favorite thing in the whole world. There’s a saying having to do with a dancer’s true death being when they stop dancing. His excuse is that he’s been working more and more, but he’s the one who keeps choosing to work more and more. He hates confronting this, but it’s about time he starts. How long is he going to be able to be a happy person if he isn’t doing his favorite thing? He spent many thousands of dollars to go to school in order to be the best dancer in the world and he hasn’t even been inside the goddamn community center in a year.
“Does this mean you’re going to dance again, Hoseok?” he asks. Hoseok picks his head off of Jimin’s shoulder to look at him. Jimin notes that he certainly looks like he’s having a hard time. He’s not crying, but the sadness is there on his face anyway. It’s almost like defeat. The dam can only keep the water at bay when the walls are strong.
“Stay for my class, okay?” Jimin says. “Jump in or just sit here, but you’ve got to stay here. And when the class is over, we can just dance for hours, okay? I think you need that. You’ve got to un-rust these joints.” Jimin slaps at Hoseok’s knee and pretends like he’s going to stretch his leg out for him. Hoseok laughs sadly and slouches further against the mirror. It’s heartbreaking, actually. Hoseok is the brightest star in the entire sky, so his light shouldn’t ever flicker. It’s harder to be near a sad Hoseok than it is be around a sad anyone else, because Hoseok is the first person to cheer everyone else up.
“Jimin, Yoongi saw one of those videos you posted to Instagram,” Hoseok says. “He saw it and he was like… ugh, he looked very into what you were doing.”
“Uh oh, that’s why you’re like this,” Jimin says. “It’s not just because you’re finally seeing sense. It’s also because you’re jealous. We both know that I don’t like Yoongi-”
“Yeah, but what if he likes you? What then, Jimin? You asked him if he was single, and now he’s watching a video of you dancing and being all sexy. You’re his coworker so he talks to you more than me, and also you’re… you’re Jimin.”
“But you’re Hoseok,” Jimin says, saying his name back to him like it has the same gravity as his own.
“Jimin,” he whines.
“Maybe he was just trying to make you jealous. I think it’s possible that he already has a crush on you,” Jimin says. Jimin actually doesn’t know Yoongi that well yet. They’re certainly friends, but that doesn’t mean he can read the inner most workings of his mind like he can with Hoseok. Jimin never works at Orange Julius for more than a few hours, and his shifts usually only overlap with Yoongi’s for an hour at the most. Hoseok certainly does spend more time with Yoongi than Jimin does.
“I hate you,” Hoseok pouts, and then puts his head on Jimin’s shoulder again. He’s thankful the mirror is at his back so that he doesn’t have to look at himself right now. He probably looks pitiful. He’s not the crying, balling on the ground kind of depressed right now, it’s more of a dull, sharp feeling that makes him feel like he’s never going to achieve any of his dreams and also, he’ll die cold and alone. He does not need this right now, he really thought his life was going great a few months ago, but now he’s realizing that he’s missing so many things and he doesn’t know what to do about it.
“I’ve got an idea, Hoseokie,” Jimin says, and the very way he says it makes Hoseok know it’s an evil idea.
“What might that be?” Hoseok doesn’t actually want to know. Jimin’s got a very strong, very defined Slytherin streak running through his veins and it’s best to always be careful around him.
“You said Yoongi liked my video,” Jimin says. “Well, what if we were to post a video of you dancing?”
“I don’t even have an Instagram, dipshit,” Hoseok says. Jimin already knows this. Hoseok doesn’t have the time or patience for social media. He stalks celebrities and dog videos on Twitter and that’s the extent of his social media usage.
“Well, but I have several thousands of people who follow me on Instagram. So, what we’ll do is make you an account, and then I’ll take a video of you on my Instagram and tag you in the video. Then I’m going to send it to the group chat to make Yoongi thirsty and voila, you and Yoongi are walking down the aisle. Simple as that.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
Jimin sighs exaggeratedly and then looks at Hoseok for several moments. His head is still against Jimin, and he doesn’t seem to be paying all that much attention. Jimin grabs Hoseok’s phone on his lap. He doesn’t even do it sneakily, Hoseok is just too apathetic to argue. He lets Jimin use his face to unlock the screen and accepts the reality that Jimin is making him an Instagram without fighting him on it. It’s hard to fight Jimin. He’s too cute to be mad at, and also he gets scary when he’s mad.
“Let’s see, password… Yoongisfuturehusband69.”
“I hate you,” Hoseok says, covering his face. “Just because you’re making an account doesn’t mean I’m agreeing to anything.”
“Okay, but we both know that you’re super sexy when you dance. If Yoongi were to see that, I don’t think he could even contain himself anymore. I think he’d fall in love as soon as he saw your bulge, I mean eyes.”
Hoseok punches him in the arm.
“Come on,” Jimin says, standing up. He pulls Hoseok onto his feet which isn’t hard when you’re as lanky and pathetic as Hoseok. “Time to stretch and get ready to make Yoongi fall in love with you.”
“I still haven’t agreed to anything.”
“You will,” Jimin says, sounding sure of himself. When Jimin is sure of himself, it’s best to assume he’s right. Hoseok doesn’t know how he’s going to manage to pull it off, but he’s sure that he will.
***
Jungkook : holy ship
Jungkook : *holy shit
Jungkook : hoLY SHIT
Jungkook : HOLY SHIIIITTTTT
Jungkook’s texts to the group chat come in at about midnight and Yoongi rubs at his temples, sitting in front of his keyboard, looking down at the incoming texts with confusion. He picks up his phone and tries to determine what’s happening. It’s hard to tell if these are good “holy shit”s or bad ones. There are certainly a lot of them.
Read on ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN
Everyone else starts to ask what he’s talking about before Yoongi has to, so he waits as little dots appear under people’s names. Seokjin is first to ask, and then Taehyung. All Jungkook sends is a link. Yoongi clicks it, because Jungkook is being far too mysterious for him not to be intrigued. It sends him to an Instagram video which he can’t open because he doesn’t have an account or the app. He rolls his eyes. Whatever it is, it can’t be that important. He doesn’t really want to create an account just to find out what Jungkook is freaking out about.
Taehyung : IS THAT HOSEOK?!?!?!?!?!
Hoseok : …
Jungkook : HOSEOOOOKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!
Seokjin : Dude
Seokjin : Bruh
Hoseok : …
The dots appear by Hoseok’s name repeatedly, but he doesn’t respond to anything. At the sight of Hoseok’s name, Yoongi immediately goes back to click the link and creates an account so fast that he’s worried he spelled his own name wrong. It takes him the three longest minutes of his entire life to create an account, but he’s finally led to Jimin’s page, the same one where he saw the video that Jungkook showed him. The most recently uploaded video, though…
Yoongi immediately runs out of the spare bedroom he uses as his studio. He doesn’t know why but it’s vitally important that he’s on his bed when he watches this. Once he’s on his bed, lying on his side, trying to mess with the orientation of his screen so that he can see the video as big as it’ll get, he clicks on it and unmutes.
There he is. Beautiful, pretty, sexy, gorgeous Hoseok. Dancing. The music is all beat, no real tune, perfect for dancing to. Yoongi’s mesmerized by it. Hoseok moves like water, but his movements are firm and coordinated. He looks like every bit of a professional dancer as Yoongi knows he is. His clothes are baggy, not at all what he’s normally in at work. There’s no real figure to his body in those clothes, it’s all in the way he dances that shows Yoongi how hot he is.
Yoongi doesn’t even realize the video is over until it starts over again by itself. It’s far too short, because Yoongi could watch this video for hours. He watches it again. And then again and again. Then several more times. It’s probably on his tenth watch that he finally reads the caption. “he hasn’t danced in over a year and he’s still better than me.” Jimin links to another account, which has to be Hoseok’s, only for Yoongi to hurriedly click it to find that it’s a completely empty Instagram. Not a single post, not even a bio. The only thing that gives away it’s Hoseok’s account is the fact that it’s his name and the profile photo of Hoseok which Jimin most definitely took without his permission.
He’ll have time to worry about all of that later, right now it’s more important to watch Hoseok dance several more times. He pushes away notifications from the group chat every few seconds as he watches Hoseok over and over again. Oh god, he is not doing okay right now. He is not well. He’s got a fever or an alien virus. Something is wrong and he needs a paper bag to breathe into.
It’s on the twentieth or thirtieth watch of the video that he realizes that Jimin is literally in the background filming Hoseok. He’s sitting on the floor, visible in the mirror. He also appears to laugh excitedly at one point, clearly having the time of his life watching Hoseok be the sexiest man on the planet. Has Jimin been in the video this entire time? Hoseok literally eats the cameras attention so much that there could be a Godzilla attack out the window and you’d still only notice Hoseok.
Yoongi doesn’t know how Instagram works. He clicks like, and then tries to see if there’s a way to download the video to his phone, because he needs this in his life until he dies. He’s not technologically savvy so all he can do is just follow Jimin on Instagram, follow Hoseok, and then send the link to the video to his email in case he ever loses it for any reason.
Then he notices how many people have actually watched the video and his grip tightens. Thousands of people? The video was only posted like an hour ago. How many of those views were Yoongi? He blushes, and then checks to find out that apparently lots of people follow Jimin on Instagram and a quick scroll through his feed makes it easy for him to determine why. Jimin looks alright without a shirt. He looks more than alright.
So, what are people saying about Hoseok then? Yoongi looks at two different comments thirsting over Hoseok before he decides to turn his phone off and lie on his back. He closes his eyes and lets his phone rest on his chest. The phone has stopped vibrating and he wonders when that happened. How long has he actually been in his bed watching that video? Enough to know that Hoseok probably doesn’t have bones and also is probably the sexiest man on the face of the planet. He whimpers softly to himself. He’s not okay right now.
He opens his phone up again after taking a minute to breathe. Lots of people are thirsting over Hoseok. Too many people. Yoongi’s jaw tightens. He knows that most of these are just horny girls scrolling through Instagram before sleep, but he feels himself disliking every single one of them. It’s not like they have a chance when Hoseok is as bent as a boomerang, but he still feels uncontrolled jealousy. If he didn’t already think Hoseok was the prettiest boy in the universe, he certainly thinks so now.
Yoongi opens up the messaging app again to catch up on all the missed texts. Everyone is freaking out over the video. Everyone’s names appear in troves, except Hoseok himself. They’re all ragingly excited that Hoseok has actually danced for the first time in forever. None of them appear to be excited about his body or the way he uses it nearly as much as they are excited for him to have danced at all. Yoongi can’t say anything about how attractive he finds Hoseok in the group chat. That would be inappropriate and embarrassing.
Yoongi thinks about the conversation he had with Hoseok only a few hours ago, which, now that he thinks of it, surely is the cause of this video’s existence. Yoongi and Jungkook maybe put the pressure on him a little too hard, but this is what happens? He goes out and posts a video on Jimin’s account of himself dancing? They must have really gotten through to him. Hoseok wanted to prove to them that he could still dance, and that he hasn’t lost a single one of his skills even in all the time he was away. He certainly achieved his goal.
Yoongi whimpers again. He doesn’t know how to respond to the group chat but he knows that he has to. Everyone else is proud and happy for Hoseok, and yet he’s been radio silence for… fuck, it’s been over an hour since this all started.
He labors over it, trying to contain all the excitement and desire he now feels. He’s going to watch the video for a lot longer and then wait agonizingly hoping that Hoseok posts more videos to his own account. Yoongi’s heart will probably give out, along with thousands of girls, but Yoongi’s broken heart will hurt the most.
Yoongi : Wow. Just wow.
It only takes a few seconds before Hoseok’s dots appear. Yoongi holds his breath. Hoseok responds with a smiling emoji and that’s it. It’s his first correspondence all night. Yoongi wonders if the video was posted specifically for Yoongi to see it. He closes his eyes and puts his hands over his face again. Yoongi scoffs. Jungkook doesn’t even know the meaning of “holy shit.”
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turtletotem · 4 years
Text
Sleeping Beauty
@gold-from-straw​ won a fic from me for her participation in the Star Bright Release Party (currently on Week 3!). It was supposed to be 1k... it’s almost 3k, because I can’t write short things. Hopefully that’s a feature instead of a bug. Also posted on AO3 here.
The chosen prompt: “I thought you said you weren’t dead.” “I’m not! ...exactly.”
.
It wasn't like Charles to stand him up. They'd only been dating three months, and didn't get to see each other as much as Erik would like, both being busy with work and children—Erik only had Lorna on Wednesdays and weekends, but that was more disruptive in some ways than having her all the time, and in Charles's case, as a mutant-specialist social worker and emergency foster father, the children were his work. Still, ever since the day they met—when Erik fell into the pool where Charles was doing physical therapy and nearly drowned them both—they had made time for each other. So for Charles to miss their standing Friday night dinner at Erik's house, without so much as an apologetic text, was worrisome.
Erik texted three times, and called twice. By then worry was transmuting to anger. Charles said Erik's go-to emotion was anger because it was easier than being afraid. Maybe he was right, because Erik was in a towering temper by the time the second call went unanswered. He left an expletive-laced voicemail that he immediately regretted, and tried to remember if he had Charles's sister somewhere in his contacts. She lived on the opposite coast but maybe she'd know something…
He didn't have Raven's number, but they were Facebook friends. He sent her a message there. No answer. Well, if it was nine o'clock here in New York, it had to be, what, midnight in L.A.? Or did the three hours go the other way? In which case she was probably in the middle of dinner.
Whatever. Erik tossed his phone on the counter and started putting away the uneaten meal he'd cooked. He wasn't hungry.
Erik?
"Charles!" Erik shouted, catching the pasta pot with his powers when his hands let go of it. "Where are you? Damn it, are you dead?"
No, I'm not dead. Charles's mental voice sounded chagrined, as well as distant and strained. But I need you to come get me. I'm sorry.
"Where are you?"
The hospital.
When he arrived at the hospital, Erik followed the sound of Charles's telepathic voice—stronger now that he was closer—up elevators and down hallways. No one stopped or questioned him, and he wondered if that was also Charles's doing. But why would Charles need to sneak him in? Why did he lead Erik through the maze to his room, instead of meeting him in the lobby? Wasn't he being released? He'd said he needed Erik to come get him…
Finally he spotted the right room number, and rounded the doorframe to step inside.
There was Charles, pale and completely motionless in the bed. His eyes were closed, and most of the lines on the nearby monitor were flat.
"I thought you said you weren't dead," Erik said, anger rising to meet a spike of panic.
I'm not! …exactly.
"What?" Bewildered and annoyed, Erik examined the monitor more closely. Charles did have a heartbeat after all. But that seemed to be about all he had. Were those other flat lines supposed to be brainwaves?
They're saying I'm brain-dead, which is obviously untrue, Charles said with asperity. I'm still here! I just can't get them to hear me, mostly. Only enough to keep them from unplugging me.
"What do you want me to do?" Erik was appalled to realize his eyes were wet. He picked up Charles's pale, lifeless hand. "You said to come get you. Are you expecting me to steal your body or something?" It was utterly absurd and he wouldn't do it, he thought, even as he eyed the steel frame on the window and calculated whether Charles's hospital bed would fit through it.
Nothing that dramatic as yet. I was exaggerating a bit about the unplugging—they wouldn't do that until they get hold of Raven. My body's safe enough for now. It's me, the rest of me, that needs to get out of the hospital.
"I don't understand."
Turn around, will you?
Frowning, Erik did—and saw Charles, leaning against the opposite wall. He met Erik's eyes, smiling sheepishly, and waved.
My psyche is rather naked, walking around outside my body like this, he said, and all the pain and fear and so on is really getting to me. His mouth didn't move with the words, and his body was noticeably transparent. I haven't been able to leave on my own, but I'm hoping if I can anchor myself to your mind, it will let me get further away from my body. Your house is still within the range of my telepathy from here, after all.
"No wheelchair," Erik noted, which seemed a less inane thing to say than Are you a ghost?, which had been his first instinct.
Yes, that's interesting, isn't it? Charles looked down at himself, wiggling his transparent legs. But it makes sense. The wheelchair is a body thing. You're lucky I figured out how to imagine myself some clothes.
Erik couldn't help smirking. "Am I? I don't call that luck."
Charles snorted at him, eyes twinkling. Just get me out of here so we can figure out how to wake me up.
 Charles's plan worked; after resting his insubstantial hand against Erik's temple for several seconds of hard focus, he was able to walk out of the hospital at Erik's side, and get into the passenger seat of his car (without having to open the door). It was all surreal beyond words—My boyfriend is in a coma and I'm helping his not-quite-ghost escape the hospital; I'm gonna laugh my head off when I wake up from this dream—but at least it did seem to help Charles. He relaxed bonelessly against the seat (that he wasn't actually touching) and rubbed his temples as they pulled away from the hospital.
"Charles, what even happened?" Erik asked. "How did you get hurt?"
Lost control of the chair going down a steep ramp, rolled right out in front of a car.
The mental image left Erik sick and breathless. "You could have been killed. You could still…"
Charles reached out and laid one transparent hand over Erik's. He could feel it, almost, like a dream or the memory of a sensation. There's no reason to panic. I'm still here, and I'm still tied to my body in some way—that's why I couldn't get too far from it without anchoring to someone else. Raven won't let them unplug me; I'll probably be able to talk to her just as I'm talking to you. Remembered desperation lurked under his smile. You've no idea what a relief it was to make contact with you, when I couldn't get the doctors to hear me, except for a distant feeling that I might not be as gone as I looked.
"I'm just glad I hadn't gone to bed yet," Erik said. "Did you try, I don't know, laying back down in your body?"
I did, and several other things besides. It's hard to explain, but I can't get it to feel like mine, like part of me.
Erik tried to tighten his hand around Charles's. "We'll figure something out."
When they pulled into Erik's driveway, he was startled to find another car already there. Suzanne's, with Lorna's little green head visible in her car seat.
"What… I'm not supposed to pick her up until morning! Did I forget some change to the schedule…?"
I don't think so, Charles said. Suzanne's upset about something, but not at you. She's feeling very apologetic toward you.
Erik climbed out of the car, tentatively alarmed, and found Suzanne already coming around her car toward him.
"I was just about to use my key and come wake you up," she said. "Should have realized you were out, no car… I'm sorry, Erik, I'm all over the place." Her mascara was streaked, her hands shaky.
"What's wrong? Is Lorna okay?"
"Lorna's fine. It's my mom, she's taken a turn for the worse. I don't know if you knew she had another stroke a few days ago?"
"Oh." He grimaced in sympathy. "I'm so sorry."
"Do you mind taking Lorna a little early? I know it's last-minute, I'm really sorry, but I've got to hit the road—I could take her with me, but she's barely met my mom, I think she'd mostly just be frightened and confused—"
"Of course, of course I'll take her, no problem. And I'll keep her as long as you need." Erik never minded getting more time with his two-year-old daughter. "This is tough, Suzanne, I'm so sorry." Should he offer a hug? He and Suzanne were amicable, but not really close... and he admitted it felt weird to hug his ex with his boyfriend watching.
No hug, she'll fall apart if you do, Charles whispered in his head, and then somehow communicated a sheepish expression at Erik's half-formed censure about Suzanne's privacy. I don't have much in the way of shields in this form, sorry.
"You're the best, Erik," Suzanne was saying, and turned to open the side door of the car. "C'mon, princess, time to go inside with daddy!"
"Daddy!" squealed the little girl in the car seat, and began kicking and reaching for him while Suzanne tried to unbuckle her.
"And here's her bag, do you want me to carry it in?" Suzanne said when Erik had Lorna snuggled against his shoulder.
"I've got it," Erik said, latching onto the metal rings holding the strap on the duffle bag. The bag floated out of Suzanne's grasp toward the front door. "Drive safe, Suzanne. You're getting a really late start."
"I know." She kissed Lorna's brow. "See you in a few days, baby!"
Well accustomed to trading one parent for the other, Lorna cheerfully waved goodbye as her mother drove away.
"Well this is… timing," Erik said, as Charles appeared at his elbow. "Can Lorna see you?"
I don't think so. Lorna, love? Hello! He waggled his fingers in front of Lorna's face. No response. I guess it's only people I'm strongly connected to that can see me like this. At least I hope it is, and not just you for some reason.
"I'll explain to Raven, if I have to," Erik said, opening the front door with his powers and floating the duffle ahead of them. And if Raven—against all odds, really, knowing her brother was a telepath—didn't believe him, he'd see about levering that hospital bed and all its important equipment out the window after all.
Charles smiled and leaned an insubstantial head against his shoulder. You're sweet.
"Not a lot of people say that."
They don't know you like I do.
"No, they don't." Erik had to stop and look at Charles, feeling an almost involuntary smile on his lips. No one knew him like Charles—or at least, no one saw him the way Charles did, as a good man with a good heart. Erik's coworkers hated him, his clients tolerated him, Suzanne in her heart was afraid of him.
Lorna loves you, Charles pointed out, looking saddened by the direction Erik's thoughts had taken. Lorna adores you.
"She's too young to know any better."
Children are often wiser than any of us.
"Well," Erik said, horribly certain he was blushing, "this child is way past her bedtime. Did mommy already brush your teeth, sweetie?" Lorna was already wearing pajamas—green, her favorite color, to match her hair. Erik had to hand Suzanne this much; she had never hinted at rejecting her mutant daughter, though Erik had seen how quickly that could change if her powers turned out to be something dangerous.
Lorna, leaning sleepily against Erik's shoulder, nodded her head. "Brushed teef. Had stories. More stories?"
"Sure, why not. More stories." The poor mite deserved some kind of treat after being pulled from her bed and dragged across town without warning.
Erik carried Lorna to her bedroom and settled them into the rocking chair next to her crib. She was big enough for a toddler bed, Erik just hadn't gotten around to getting one. She'd grown so much, so quickly…
It's astonishing how quickly they grow up, Charles agreed, watching Lorna with a wistful smile. It was no secret that Charles wanted children of his own, even after spending all his working hours with them. Erik wondered if he'd ever tried to adopt any of his cases, perhaps one of the ones where he ended up serving as emergency foster care. Wondered if he'd have more luck with adoption, if he were married…
There was still a book next to the rocking chair from Lorna's last visit, a storybook version of Disney's Sleeping Beauty. Erik picked it up and began to read.
 Charles knew he couldn't actually sit anyway, but it felt awkward to 'stand' around the room while Erik read to his daughter. There weren't any more chairs, but he finally settled onto Lorna's toddler-size play table; the weight of his body would have collapsed it, but his body wasn't here. He 'sat,' and watched Erik read to his sleepy daughter.
Charles thought Lorna was adorable, but he hadn't spent much time with her. He and Erik had only been dating three months, and Erik wasn't going to bring someone into his daughter's life until he was sure that person deserved to be there, and planned to stick around. Because Erik was a good father. A good man.
Charles didn't see Erik through rose-colored glasses, whatever other people or Erik himself thought. He knew that Erik could be downright mean, that anger was his go-to emotion, that his view of the world was harsh and painfully cynical. But he also knew how much good Erik's heart held, how much passionate protective love that only needed somewhere to land, some beneficiary he could trust not to reject him. Erik would fight for every version of his people—mutant, Jewish, queer—but that was a cause, not a family. And Erik would die without hesitation for Lorna, but she was someone he had to protect, not someone he could lean on. He needed a partner.
Charles wanted to be that partner. He wanted to be the stable center of Erik's erratic orbit, a source of love and joy and certainty, a second father to Erik's little girl. Part of a family. He really didn't want to be dead.
"Prince Phillip rushed to Aurora's side," Erik was murmuring to Lorna, "and bestowed a gentle kiss—True Love's Kiss—on her lips. Aurora's eyes fluttered open. The curse had been broken!"
A kiss sounded wonderful, Charles thought. If he had his body here, he could climb into Erik's warm, cozy lap and press kisses all over Erik's tired, scruffy, beautiful face. Erik was a very good kisser and Charles could imagine—
Oh. Huh. How about that.
Distracted by Charles's sudden distraction, Erik looked up from the storybook, but Charles waved him off. He needed to figure out what had just happened before talking to Erik about it.
He had felt something, just now. Felt his body, distant as it was, respond in some tiny, flickering measure to the thought of kissing Erik. Which was more than any other thought had been able to do.
Erik, he said, a few minutes later, when Lorna was asleep in her crib and Erik was closing the bedroom door behind them. I have an idea.
 Erik brought over a neighbor that had watched Lorna before, with the promise that he wouldn't be gone long and she was asleep anyway.
"My boyfriend's been hurt," he said. "I need to go to the hospital."
"That nice young man? Oh, dear, I hope he's all right," the neighbor said with sleepy concern. "Don't worry a bit, dear, I'll just read in your living room and keep an ear open for Lorna."
There's no need to get yourself a ticket, darling, I'm not going anywhere, Charles said as Erik's car sped toward the hospital. When this failed to have any effect, he laid a transparent hand on Erik's knee. Please? Getting yourself killed in a wreck right now would be terribly inconvenient for me. Do let's wake me up first.
Erik rolled his eyes, but lifted his foot from the accelerator.
Like last time, Charles was able to keep anyone at the hospital from stopping Erik, and guide him to the right room, following the beacon of his tenuous connection to his own body.
"Sleeping Beauty, huh?" Erik said, looking down at the still figure in the bed. "You look more like Snow White."
My lips aren't that red, Charles said, embarrassed by Erik's mental image of him, which was at least three times as attractive as reality. Not now, certainly. Skin white as snow I will grant you.
"Yeah, you don't look very good right now," Erik said, brushing his fingers down the sickly-pale cheek of Charles's body. He glanced up at the telepathic projection of Charles's appearance. "You sure about this?"
Not at all, but it can't hurt to try.
Erik looked down at Charles in the bed, still stroking his cheek, then bent and kissed him.
And Charles felt it—felt all his nerve endings lighting up at the sensation, felt the pull of his body's response to being touched. Not his body—him. He was being touched, Erik was kissing him, Charles wanted to kiss him back, and—
And he was, he was kissing Erik back.
Erik pulled back with a gasp, and Charles was looking up at him now, looking up from the bed. He was inside his body, which felt terrible, bruised and battered and broken, his head aching fiercely—but he was awake, and all the monitors next to his bed were going crazy.
"True Love's Kiss," Charles said, smiling, and pulled Erik down to kiss him some more, just as a bevy of nurses hurried in to witness the miracle.
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catlifedvd · 3 years
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Notes On Significant Aspects For San Francisco Flower Market
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gargaj · 4 years
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A breakdown of the Revision 2020 Threeway Battle shader
Those of you who have been following this year's edition of Revision probably remember the unexpected twist in Sunday's timeline, where I was pitted in a coding "battle" against two of the best shader-coders in the world to fend for myself. Admittedly the buzz it caused caught me by surprise, but not as much as the feedback on the final shader I produced, so I hope to shed some light on how the shader works, in a way that's hopefully understandable to beginners and at least entertaining to experts, as well as providing some glimpses into my thought process along the way.
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Recorded video of the event
But before we dive into the math and code, however, I think it's important to get some context by recounting the story of how we got here.
A brief history of demoscene live-coding
Visual coding has been massively opened up when graphics APIs began to introduce programmable fragment rendering, perhaps best known to most people as "pixel shaders"; this allowed programmers to run entire programmable functions on each pixel of a triangle, and none was more adamant to do that than a fellow named Iñigo Quilez (IQ), an understated genius who early on recognized the opportunity in covering the entire screen with a single polygon, and just doing the heavy lifting of creating geometry in the shader itself. His vision eventually spiraled into not only the modern 4k scene, but also the website ShaderToy, which almost every graphics programmer uses to test prototypes or just play around with algorithms. IQ, an old friend of mine since the mid-00s, eventually moved to the US, worked at Pixar and Oculus, and became something of a world-revered guru of computer graphics, but that (and life) has unfortunately caused him to shift away from the scene.
His vision of single-shader-single-quad-single-pass shader coding, in the meantime, created a very spectacular kind of live coding competition in the scene where two coders get only 25 minutes and the attention of an entire party hall, and they have to improvise their way out of the duel - this has been wildly successful at parties for the sheer showmanship and spectacle akin to rap battles, and none emerged from this little sport more remarkably than Flopine, a bubbly French girl who routinely shuffled up on stage wearing round spectacles and cat ears (actually they might be pony ears on second thought), and mopped the floor up with the competition. Her and a handful of other live-coders regularly stream on Twitch as practice, and have honed their live-coding craft for a few years at this point, garnering a considerable following.
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Just a sample of insanity these people can do.
My contribution to this little sub-scene was coming up with a fancy name for it ("Shader Showdown"), as well as providing a little tool I called Bonzomatic (named after Bonzaj / Plastic, a mutual friend of IQ and myself, and the first person to create a live coding environment for demoparties) that I still maintain, but even though I feel a degree of involvement through the architectural side, I myself haven't been interested in participating: I know I can do okay under time pressure, but I don't really enjoy it, and while there's a certain overlap in what they do and what I do, I was always more interested in things like visual detail and representative geometry aided by editing and direction rather than looping abstract, fractal-like things. It just wasn't my thing.
Mistakes were made
But if I'm not attracted to this type of competition, how did I end up in the crossfire anyway? What I can't say is that it wasn't, to a considerable degree, my fault: as Revision 2020 was entirely online, most of the scene took it to themselves to sit in the demoscene Discord to get an experience closest to on-site socializing, given the somber circumstances of physical distancing. This also allowed a number of people who hasn't been around for a while to pop in to chat - like IQ, who, given his past, was mostly interested in the showdowns (during which Flopine crushed the competition) and the 4k compo.
As I haven't seen him around for a while, and as my mind is always looking for an angle, I somehow put two and two together, and asked him if he would consider taking part in a showdown at some point; he replied that he was up for it - this was around Saturday 10PM. I quickly pinged the rest of the showdown participants and organizers, as I spotted that Bullet was doing a DJ set the next day (which would've been in a relatively convenient timezone for IQ in California as well), and assumed that he didn't really have visuals for it - as there was already a "coding jam" over Ronny's set the day before, I figured there's a chance for squeezing an "extra round" of coding. Flopine was, of course, beyond excited by just the prospect of going against IQ, and by midnight we essentially got everything planned out (Bullet's consent notwithstanding, as he was completely out of the loop on this), and I was excited to watch...
...that is, until Havoc, the head honcho for the showdowns, off-handedly asked me about an at that point entirely hypothetical scenario: what would happen if IQ would, for some reason, challenge me instead of Flopine? Now, as said, I wasn't really into this, but being one to not let a good plan go to waste (especially if it was mine), I told Havoc I'd take one for the team and do it, although it probably wouldn't be very fun to watch. I then proceeded to quickly brief IQ in private and run him through the technicalities of the setup, the tool, the traditions and so on, and all is swell...
...that is, until IQ (this is at around 2AM) offhandedly mentions that "Havoc suggested we do a three-way with me, Flopine... and you." I quickly try to backpedal, but IQ seems to be into the idea, and worst of all, I've already essentially agreed to it, and to me, the only thing worse than being whipped in front of a few thousand people would be going back on your word. The only way out was through.
Weeks of coding can spare you hours of thinking
So now that I've got myself into this jar of pickles, I needed some ideas, and quick. (I didn't sleep much that night.) First off, I didn't want to do anything obviously 3D - both IQ and Flopine are masters of this, and I find it exhausting and frustrating, and it would've failed on every level possible. Fractals I'm awful at and while they do provide a decent amount of visual detail, they need a lot of practice and routine to get right. I also didn't want something very basic 2D, like a byte-beat, because those have a very limited degree of variation available, and the end result always looks a bit crude.
Luckily a few months ago an article I saw do rounds was a write-up by Sasha Martinsen on how to do "FUI"-s, or Fictional User Interfaces; overly complicated and abstract user interfaces that are prominent in sci-fi, with Gmunk being the Michael Jordan of the genre.
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Image courtesy of Sasha Martinsen.
Sasha's idea is simple: make a few basic decent looking elements, and then just pile them on top of each other until it looks nice, maybe choose some careful colors, move them around a bit, place them around tastefully in 3D, et voilà, you're hacking the Gibson. It's something I attempted before, if somewhat unsuccessfully, in "Reboot", but I came back to it a few more times in my little private motion graphics experiments with much better results, and my prediction was that it would be doable in the given timeframe - or at least I hoped that my hazy 3AM brain was on the right track.
A bit of math
How to make this whole thing work? First, let's think about our rendering: We have a single rectangle and a single-pass shader that runs on it: this means no meshes, no geometry, no custom textures, no postprocessing, no particle systems and no fonts, which isn't a good place to start from. However, looking at some of Sasha's 3D GIFs, some of them look like they're variations of the same render put on planes one after the other - and as long as we can do one, we can do multiple of that.
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Rough sketch of what we want to do; the planes would obviously be infinite in size but this representation is good enough for now.
Can we render multiple planes via a single shader? Sure, but we want them to look nice, and that requires a bit of thinking: The most common technique to render a "2D" shader and get a "3D" look is raymarching, specifically with signed distance fields - starting on a ray, and continually testing distances until a hit is found. This is a good method for "solid-ish" looking objects and scenes, but the idea for us is to have many infinite planes that also have some sort of alpha channel, so we'd have a big problem with 1) inaccuracy, as we'd never find a hit, just something "reasonably close", and even that would take us a few dozen steps, which is costly even for a single plane and 2) the handling of an alpha map can be really annoying, since we'd only find out our alpha value after our initial march, after which if our alpha is transparent we'd need to march again.
But wait - it's just infinite planes and a ray, right? So why don't we just assume that our ray is always hitting the plane (which it is, since we're looking at it), and just calculate an intersection the analytical way?
Note: I would normally refer to this method as "raytracing", but after some consultation with people smarter than I am, we concluded that the terms are used somewhat ambiguously, so let's just stick to "analytical ray solving" or something equally pedantic.
We know the mathematical equation for a ray is position = origin + direction * t (where t is a scalar that represents the distance/progress from the ray origin), and we know that the formula for a plane is A * x + B * y + C * z + D = 0, where (A, B, C) is the normal vector of the plane, and D is the distance from the origin. First, since the intersection will be the point in space that satisfies both equations, we substitute the ray (the above o + d * t for each axis) into the plane:
A * (ox + dx * t) + B * (oy + dy * t) + C * (oz + dz * t) + D = 0
To find out where this point is in space, we need to solve this for t, but it's currently mighty complicated. Luckily, since we assume that our planes are parallel to the X-Y plane, we know our (A, B, C) normal is (0, 0, 1), so we can simplify it down to:
oz + dz * t + D = 0
Which we can easily solve to t:
t = (D - oz) / dz
That's right: analytically finding a ray hit of a plane is literally a single subtraction and a division! Our frame rate (on this part) should be safe, and we're always guaranteed a hit as long as we're not looking completely perpendicular to the planes; we should have everything to start setting up our code.
Full disclosure: Given my (and in a way IQ's) lack of "live coding" experience, we agreed that there would be no voting for the round, and it'd be for glory only, but also that I'd be allowed to use a small cheat sheet of math like the equations for 2D rotation or e.g. the above final equation since I don't do this often enough to remember these things by heart, and I only had a few hours notice before the whole thing.
Setting up the rendering
Time to start coding then. First, let's calculate our texture coordinates in the 0..1 domain using the screen coordinates and the known backbuffer resolution (which is provided to us in Bonzomatic):
vec2 uv = vec2(gl_FragCoord.x / v2Resolution.x, gl_FragCoord.y / v2Resolution.y);
Then, let's create a ray from that:
vec3 rayDir = vec3( uv * 2 - 1, -1.0 ); rayDir.x *= v2Resolution.x / v2Resolution.y; // adjust for aspect ratio vec3 rayOrigin = vec3( 0, 0, 0 );
This creates a 3D vector for our direction that is -1,-1,-1 in the top left corner and 1,1,-1 in the bottom right (i.e. we're looking so that Z is decreasing into the screen), then we adjust the X coordinate since our screen isn't square, but our coordinates currently are - no need to even bother with normalizing, it'll be fine. Our origin is currently just sitting in the center.
Then, let's define (loosely) our plane, which is parallel to the XY plane:
float planeDist = 1.0f; // distance between each plane float planeZ = -5.0f; // Z position of the first plane
And solve our equation to t, as math'd out above:
float t = (planeZ - rayOrigin.z) / rayDir.z;
Then, calculate WHERE the hit is by taking that t by inserting it back to the original ray equation using our current direction and origin:
vec3 hitPos = rayOrigin + t * rayDir;
And now we have our intersection; since we already know the Z value, we can texture our plane by using the X and Y components to get a color value:
vec4 color = fui( hitPos.xy ); // XY plane our_color = color;
Of course we're gonna need the actual FUI function, which will be our procedural animated FUI texture, but let's just put something dummy there now, like a simple circle:
vec4 fui ( vec2 uv ) { return length(uv - 0.5) < 0.5 ? vec4(1) : vec(0); }
And here we go:
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Very good, we have a single circle and if we animate the camera we can indeed tell that it is on a plane.
So first, let's tile it by using a modulo function; the modulo (or modulus) function simply wraps a number around another number (kinda like the remainder after a division, but for floating point numbers) and thus becomes extremely useful for tiling or repeating things:
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We'll be using the modulo function rather extensively in this little exercise, so strap in. (Illustration via the Desmos calculator.)
vec4 layer = fui( mod( hitPos.xy, 1.0 ) );
This will wrap the texture coordinates of -inf..inf between 0..1:
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We also need multiple planes, but how do we combine them? We could just blend them additively, but with the amount of content we have, we'd just burn them in to white and it'd look like a mess (and not the good kind of mess). We could instead just use normal "crossfade" / "lerp" blending based on the alpha value; the only trick here is to make sure we're rendering them from back to front since the front renders will blend over the back renders:
int steps = 10; float planeDist = 1.0f; for (int i=steps; i>=0; i--) { float planeZ = -1.0f * i * planeDist; float t = (planeZ - rayOrigin.z) / rayDir.z; if (t > 0.0f) // check if "t" is in front of us { vec3 hitPos = rayOrigin + t * rayDir; vec4 layer = fui( hitPos.xy, 2.0 ); // blend layers based on alpha output colour = mix( colour, layer, layer.a ); } }
And here we go:
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We decreased the circles a bit in size to see the effect more.
Not bad! First thing we can do is just fade off the back layers, as if they were in a fog:
layer *= (steps - i) / float(steps);
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We have a problem though: we should probably increase the sci-fi effect by moving the camera continually forward, but if we do, we're gonna run into a problem: Currently, since our planeZ is fixed to the 0.0 origin, they won't move with the camera. We could just add our camera Z to them, but then they would be fixed with the camera and wouldn't appear moving. What we instead want is to just render them AS IF they would be the closest 10 planes in front of the camera; the way we could do that is that if e.g. our planes' distance from each other is 5, then round the camera Z down to the nearest multiple of 5 (e.g. if the Z is at 13, we round down to 10), and start drawing from there; rounding up would be more accurate, but rounding down is easier, since we can just subtract the division remainder from Z like so:
float planeZ = (rayOrigin.z - mod(rayOrigin.z, planeDist)) - i * planeDist;
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And now we have movement! Our basic rendering path is done.
Our little fictional UI
So now that we have the basic pipeline in place, let's see which elements can we adapt from Sasha's design pieces.
The first one I decided to go with wasn't strictly speaking in the set, but it was something that I saw used as design elements over the last two decades, and that's a thick hatch pattern element; I think it's often used because it has a nice industrial feel with it. Doing it in 2D is easy: We just add X and Y together, which will result in a diagonal gradient, and then we just turn that into an alternating pattern using, again, the modulo. All we need to do is limit it between two strips, and we have a perfectly functional "Police Line Do Not Cross" simulation.
return mod( uv.x + uv.y, 1 ) < 0.5 ? vec4(1) : vec4(0);
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So let's stop here for a few moments; this isn't bad, but we're gonna need a few things. First, the repetition doesn't give us the nice symmetric look that Sasha recommends us to do, and secondly, we want them to look alive, to animate a bit.
Solving symmetry can be done just by modifying our repetition code a bit: instead of a straight up modulo with 1.0 that gives us a 0..1 range, let's use 2.0 to get a 0..2 range, then subtract 1.0 to get a -1..1 range, and then take the absolute value.
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vec4 layer = fui( abs( mod( hitPos.xy, 2.0 ) - 1 ) );
This will give us a triangle-wave-like function, that goes from 0 to 1, then back to 0, then back to 1; in terms of texture coordinates, it will go back and forth between mirroring the texture in both directions, which, let's face it, looks Totally Sweet.
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For animation, first I needed some sort of random value, but one that stayed deterministic based on a seed - in other words, I needed a function that took in a value, and returned a mangled version of it, but in a way that if I sent that value in twice, it would return the same mangled value twice. The most common way of doing it is taking the incoming "seed" value, and then driving it into some sort of function with a very large value that causes the function to alias, and then just returning the fraction portion of the number:
float rand(float x) { return fract(sin(x) * 430147.8193); }
Does it make any sense? No. Is it secure? No. Will it serve our purpose perfectly? Oh yes.
So how do we animate our layers? The obvious choice is animating both the hatch "gradient" value to make it crawl, and the start and end of our hatch pattern which causes the hatched strip to move up and down: simply take a random - seeded by our time value - of somewhere sensible (like between 0.2 and 0.8 so that it doesn't touch the edges) and add another random to it, seasoned to taste - we can even take a binary random to pick between horizontal and vertical strips:
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The problems here are, of course, that currently they're moving 1) way too fast and 2) in unison. The fast motion obviously happens because the time value changes every frame, so it seeds our random differently every frame - this is easy to solve by just rounding our time value down to the nearest integer: this will result in some lovely jittery "digital" motion. The unison is also easy to solve: simply take the number of the layer, and add it to our time, thus shifting the time value for each layer; I also chose to multiply the layer ID with a random-ish number so that the layers actually animate independently, and the stutter doesn't happen in unison either:
vec4 fui( vec2 uv, float t ) { t = int(t); float start = rand(t) * 0.8 + 0.1; float end = start + 0.1; [...] } vec4 layer = fui( abs(mod(hitPos.xy, 2.0)-1), fGlobalTime + i * 4.7 );
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Lovely!
Note: In hindsight using the Z coordinate of the plane would've given a more consistent result, but the way it animates, it doesn't really matter.
So let's think of more elements: the best looking one that seems to get the best mileage out in Sasha's blog is what I can best describe as the "slant" or "hockey stick" - a simple line, with a 45-degree turn in it. What I love about it is that the symmetry allows it to create little tunnels, gates, corridors, which will work great for our motion.
Creating it is easy: We just take a thin horizontal rectangle, and attach another rectangle to the end, but shift the coordinate of the second rectangle vertically, so that it gives us the 45-degree angle:
float p1 = 0.2; float p2 = 0.5; float p3 = 0.7; float y = 0.5; float thicc = 0.0025; if (p1 < uv.x && uv.x < p2 && y - thicc < uv.y && uv.y < y + thicc ) { return vec4(1); } if (p2 < uv.x && uv.x < p3 && y - thicc < uv.y - (uv.x - p2) && uv.y - (uv.x - p2) < y + thicc ) { return vec4(1); }
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Note: In the final code, I had a rect() call which I originally intended to use as baking glow around my rectangle using a little routine I prototyped out earlier that morning, but I was ultimately too stressed to properly pull that off. Also, it's amazing how juvenile your variable names turn when people are watching.
Looks nice, but since this is such a thin sparse element, let's just... add more of it!
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So what more can we add? Well, no sci-fi FUI is complete without random text and numbers, but we don't really have a font at hand. Or do we? For years, Bonzomatic has been "shipping" with this really gross checkerboard texture ostensibly for UV map testing:
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What if we just desaturate and invert it?
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We can then "slice" it up and render little sprites all over our texture: we already know how to draw a rectangle, so all we need is just 1) calculate which sprite we want to show 2) calculate the texture coordinate WITHIN that sprite and 3) sample the texture:
float sx = 0.3; float sy = 0.3; float size = 0.1; if (sx < uv.x && uv.x < sx + size && sy < uv.y &&uv.y < sy + size) { float spx = 2.0 / 8.0; // we have 8 tiles in the texture float spy = 3.0 / 8.0; vec2 spriteUV = (uv - vec2(sx,sy)) / size; vec4 sam = texture( texChecker, vec2(spx,spy) + spriteUV / 8.0 ); return dot( sam.rgb, vec3(0.33) ); }
Note: In the final code, I was only using the red component instead of desaturation because I forgot the texture doesn't always have red content - I stared at it for waaaay too long during the round trying to figure out why some sprites weren't working.
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And again, let's just have more of it:
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Getting there!
At this point the last thing I added was just circles and dots, because I was running out of ideas; but I also felt my visual content amount was getting to where I wanted them to be; it was also time to make it look a bit prettier.
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Post-production / compositing
So we have our layers, they move, they might even have colors, but I'm still not happy with the visual result, since they are too single-colored, there's not enough tone in the picture.
The first thing I try nowadays when I'm on a black background is to just add either a single color, or a gradient:
vec4 colour = renderPlanes(uv); vec4 gradient = mix( vec4(0,0,0.2,1), vec4(0,0,0,1), uv.y); vec4 finalRender = mix( gradient, vec4(colour.xyz,1), colour.a);
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This added a good chunk of depth considerably to the image, but I was still not happy with the too much separation between colors.
A very common method used in compositing in digital graphics is to just add bloom / glow; when used right, this helps us add us more luminance content to areas that would otherwise be solid color, and it helps the colors to blend a bit by providing some middle ground; unfortunately if we only have a single pass, the only way to get blur (and by extension, bloom) is repeatedly rendering the picture, and that'd tank our frame rate quickly.
Instead, I went back to one of the classics: the Variform "pixelize" overlay:
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This is almost the same as a bloom effect, except instead of blurring the image, all you do is turn it into a lower resolution nearest point sampled version of itself, and blend that over the original image - since this doesn't need more than one sample per pixel (as we can reproduce pixelation by just messing with the texture coordinates), we can get away by rendering the scene only twice:
vec4 colour = renderPlanes(uv); colour += renderPlanes(uv - mod( uv, 0.1 ) ) * 0.4;
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Much better tonal content!
So what else can we do? Well, most of the colors I chose are in the blue/orange/red range, and we don't get a lot of the green content; one of the things that I learned that it can look quite pretty if one takes a two-tone picture, and uses color-grading to push the midrange of a third tone - that way, the dominant colors will stay in the highlights, and the third tone will cover the mid-tones. (Naturally you have to be careful with this.)
"Boosting" a color in the mids is easy: lucky for us, if we consider the 0..1 range, exponential functions suit our purpose perfectly, because they start at 0, end at 1, but we can change how they get here:
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So let's just push the green channel a tiny bit:
finalRender.g = pow(finalRender.g, 0.7);
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Now all we need is to roll our camera for maximum cyberspace effect and we're done!
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Best laid plans of OBS
As you can see from the code I posted the above, I wrote the final shader in GLSL; those who know me know that I'm a lot more comfortable with DirectX / HLSL, and may wonder why I switched, but of course there's another story here:
Given the remote nature of the event, all of the shader coding competition was performed online as well: since transmitting video from the coder's computer to a mixer, and then to another mixer, and then to a streaming provider, and then to the end user would've probably turned the image to mush, Alkama and Nusan came up with the idea of skipping a step and rigging up a version of Bonzo that ran on the coder's computer, but instead of streaming video, it sent the shader down to another instance of Bonzo, running on Diffty's computer, who then captured that instance and streamed it to the main Revision streaming hub. This, of course, meant that in a three-way, Diffty had to run three separate instances of Bonzo - but it worked fine with GLSL earlier, so why worry?
What we didn't necessarily realize at the time, is that the DirectX 11 shader compiler takes no hostages, and as soon as the shader reached un-unrollable level of complexity, it thoroughly locked down Diffty's machine, to the point that even the video of the DJ set he was playing started to drop out. I, on the other hand, didn't notice any of this, since my single local instance was doing fine, so I spent the first 15 minutes casually nuking Diffty's PC to shreds remotely, until I noticed Diffty and Havoc pleading on Discord to switch to GLSL because I'm setting things on fire unknowingly.
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This is fine.
I was reluctant to do so, simply because of the muscle memory, but I was also aware that I should keep the show going if I can because if I bow out without a result, that would be a colossal embarrassment to everyone involved, and I only can take one of those once every week, and I was already above my quota - so, I quickly closed the DX11 version of Bonzo, loaded the shader up in a text editor, replaced "floatX" with "vecX" (fun drinking game: take a shot every time I messed it up during the live event), commented the whole thing out, loaded it into a GLSL bonzo, and quickly fixed all the other syntax differences (of which there were luckily not many, stuff like "mix" instead of "lerp", constructors, etc.), and within a few minutes I was back up and running.
This, weirdly, helped my morale a bit, because it was the kind of clutch move that for some reason appealed to me, and made me quite happy - although at that point I locked in so bad that not only did I pay absolutely not attention to the stream to see what the other two are doing, but that the drinks and snacks I prepared for the hour of battling went completely untouched.
In the end, when the hour clocked off, the shader itself turned out more or less how I wanted it, it worked really well with Bullet's techno-/psy-/hardtrance mix (not necessarily my jam, as everyone knows I'm more a broken beat guy, but pounding monotony can go well with coding focus), and I came away satisfied, although the perhaps saddest point of the adventure was yet to come: the lack of cathartic real-life ending that was taken from us due to the physical distance, when after all the excitement, all the cheers and hugs were merely lines of text on a screen - but you gotta deal with what you gotta deal with.
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A small sampling of the Twitch reaction.
Conclusion
In the end, what was my takeaway from the experience?
First off, scoping is everything: Always aim to get an idea where you can maximize the outcome of the time invested with the highest amount of confidence of pulling it off. In this case, even though I was on short notice and in an environment I was unfamiliar with, I relied on something I knew, something I've done before, but no one else really has.
Secondly, broaden your influence: You never know when you can take something that seems initially unrelated, and bend it into something that you're doing with good results.
Thirdly, and perhaps most importantly, step out of your comfort zone every so often; you'll never know what you'll find.
(And don't agree to everything willy-nilly, you absolute moron.)
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pffbts · 5 years
Note
What if you tried rewriting a short scene from the music videos or Save Me? The plot's already there, just your beautiful words to fill in the gaps ;)
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―genre: fluff; angst; crack; werewolf! au
―characters: min yoongi x female reader | ot7 x reader
―w.c: 2.4K
―author`s note: this was requested much long before the other ones but you see i had to think a lot (it turned into an au fic, i`m sorry)  because it was such an interesting request (a challenging one too) nothing least expected from the said sender. thank you for such request. much love
―inspiration: save me (mv) – the dark gloominess of the mv and the way the boys looked.
[05:40 PM] [the dusty smell, the faraway smell of rain gave a trailer of the fire burning as seven figures enlighten the attempt to a bonfire]
― namjoon`s eyes could bleed if it was physically possible. the sight beside him roared up the complicated emotions that stores itself inside the darkest alley of his brain and doesn`t come out not until the eyes witness something out of this world adorable and warm. jimin`s face was pushed against your neck and he was spooning you from behind. being the bigger spoon in the embracement, your back was slumped against his front, your knees almost touching your chest. jimin`s arms circled the whole of your body and the tip of his nose nudged at the soft spot against the end of your hairline.
yoongi glanced over at namjoon and his wide eyes and the loosely hanging jaw of the younger one. he wanted to laugh at this site but controlled himself for the sake of the sleeping figure of both you and jimin. taehyung and jeongguk have retrieved back to the forest, searching for more woods to keep the bonfire glow until the night completely fall on them.
“they`re really something, isn`t it?” hoseok chirped in, a rough yet softness behind each word. yoongi just nodded laying back against the grass, a hand tucked behind his head like a pillow.
“the stars are going to come out soon.” giving a side glance to your sleeping figure, he continued, “it`s almost time.”
a rustle from the direction of the forest and out came under the dusk of the day, the younger ones – taehyung and jeongguk each of them carrying logs of woods especially the latter one.
*
―several months ago
the corridors of the schools always smell like chlorine and bad decisions. it`s like do you even want to walk through these corridors, do you even want to place yourself in those groups of girls and boys who flock the corners. flicking the topmost button of your school shirt, you leaned back against your desk chair. the sky just like the past couple of days has been gathering its clouds for a future downpour every dusk. you hate rain, especially when it happens during the monsoon season. somehow you`ve a different kind of opinion for the rain that comes down during the different season rather than its mother season.
collecting the books and stationeries you walked out of your class. the students next to you passing by giving a simple smile and a once-over. out of habit, you smiled back too. nothing`s wrong giving out some smiles, right?
soon you heard a number squeals and before you could look around anything, slow black dots started appearing and fading on the ground. it had started raining. you pulled out your transparent umbrella and without giving second attention to anyone walking out of the school ground.
the way it was raining, it was really convincing how you would definitely get half-drenched even before you reach half of your distance. the field which you passed by every afternoon after school was near to your sight and if you squint a little, you could see the faraway forest at the end of it. the daylights weren`t knocked out yet and you still had enough time to pass by the abandoned expanse of the field under the still dull daylight.
half way on passing by the field, you heard some guys laughing. it almost sounded childish – the way they were smiling. turning your head while slowing your pace, you saw seven guys standing there like a messed up circle and laughing. someone with a gummy smile caught your attention. it wasn`t until you continued staring at him that you realized he was looking at you too and his smile somehow passed onto you. this time your habit didn`t strike you instead you just looked away from them with the same look of shock.
all you could do that night was think what were the seven young boys doing when it was clearly raining harder than any day. the more you shifted on your bed, changing your position, the more their images started getting clearer inside your subconscious mind. next day, your mother suggested you to skip school but you wanted to go nevertheless not knowing what was in store for you that day.
it was raining that day too and just like any other day, you took shelter under the transparent umbrella of yours and just like last day, you found the seven guys standing there but this time they were scattered like Venn diagrams and they didn`t have the same kind of smile on their face. instead, they were frowning, their face more serious and your pace increased. but the more you walked fast, you felt a tension growing on your skin.
you did one mistake that day – turning back. the moment you looked back, all you could see was two greenish-golden eyes, everything black and large animalistic fangs coming at you from the closest distance ever.
*
―present day
namjoon`s eyes shifted to the mark on the side of your face, just passing by the folds underneath your left eye. the kind of mark only some unrealistic animal could do. something only werewolves could do. his inner wolf got the best of him and soon yoongi smelled the rage flowing from the younger one of the pack. being the leader alpha of three other alphas and sub-alphas, it has always been difficult for yoongi to control his boys but he has grown up with them. he knew them like no other being on this damned world.
“namjoon! let`s go for a stroll, eh?” yoongi jumped from his place, shaking his shoulder and offering a hand to the other alpha. “come on, let`s cool off before we stink more.”
it has been an inside joke for a long time now since you started hanging out with the pack. no, you weren`t some werewolf or anything. you were just as ordinary as the grass that you were lying on. it was just your maternal uncle who died one year ago from some mysterious disease was the teacher of these seven boys during their pre-wolf days. he wasn`t a wolf but he was an acquaintance with their world more than you. later you heard from the boys that it was one of the guys from some other pack who tried to attack him and not being able to stand the injuries, he had to sadly pass away.
that day it was another guy from that same pack. somehow this has been a regular thing, yoongi recalled one day to you, that every time any one of the human worlds compiles with the wolf world, this rival always had their way in hurting them. when you had asked why yoongi had jokingly said that maybe you guys are too tasty for their taste buds. a few seconds later, jimin who always had a soft side for you had tackled his leader and forced him to stay there grounded until he apologizes for the insensitive joke.
thankfully, the guys threw that enraged wolf and had somehow got rid of him. it was the first time you saw this much blood flowing out of you. when you touched your burning face, there was blood covered in both of your palm and half of it was flowing to your school shirt. the last scene you saw before passing out was those seven beautiful smiling boys turning into seven big black, brown and greyish-white wolves and lunging onto the out of pack one.
“hnnggh,” jimin groaned behind you. it has been almost five minutes and your arms felt numb. the warm breath from jimin and the wolfish hotness flowing out of him filled up your whole system. you realized that even after an hour-long shower tonight, you would still smell like werewolves. but that didn`t matter to you because you`re used to such acts. you knew jimin has a soft side for you but it wasn`t like that romantic. it was like having a very special bonding with someone irrespective of their gender identity, like meeting up an old friend and picking up the pieces of the past conversations. like someone who`s a constant in your life.
if there`s one person with whom who had a nerve –wrecking relationship, it was min yoongi. there`s always a different kind of sensation whenever yoongi smiles at you or your eyes meet with his. it`s like he`s calling for you and somehow the more you give him that attention, he draws himself closer to you. but losing patience is not in min yoongi`s agenda. he deals with people far more restless than you. also, humans aren`t capable of being a werewolf`s mate, yoongi convinced himself who had researched their world more than anyone. even if it happens it`s like one in a million chance. so chances are very rare, but people like you who pull him against gravity is rare too.
hoseok tried helping you by slowly and gently putting jimin`s hand off of your body and let it fall against the cold grass while you move from his embrace. letting out a sigh, you thanked hoseok without any words – just a little smile and nod. hoseok winked at you giving you a lazy thumb`s up.
looking around you, you realized it was only hoseok and jimin around you. the other five were missing. you say five because jin, a sub-alpha has got into med school a few months ago after your regular hangouts with the pack started. he never intended to stay in the pack and continue his life as his inner wolf would convey. he always as ever tried to diminish his inner wolf by putting up the human gene in the topmost priority.
last time when you met him, it wasn`t along with the pack. it was just him and you in a small, dimly lit café.
“i want to fall in love. i want to live just like any other normal person lives on this earth. i don`t care what my inner demons call out for. i`m going to fight them and find a solution for myself.”
when you asked about the boys, he had smiled sadly.
“i think it`s time you take the responsibility of turning them into more human. i know you`re only one who can do that because there`s something uncharacteristically ravishing inside you. it`s like you have a fire inside you which you`re trying to hide.”jin continued to stare at your changing expression and when you didn`t let you gaze falter, he nodded his head smiling with second-hand satisfaction, “anyway, take care of the boys and don`t let min yoongi manipulate that head of yours.”
when you said his goodbye, you thought he was just throwing stupid big words at you. everyone around you has high expectation of you and they think they know all about you. it was strange how you yourself didn`t know what you`re capable of. can you throw those big words at yourself? can you even be what jin thought you could be? looking back at it now, it felt like some unrealistic pretentious dream. you wondered if jin is doing well in the med school and not throwing rampage around the campus with his dad jokes.
 “oh look! gguk and tae is here!”
 “it`s getting dark,” lifting your eyes, you took in the orangish hue of the sun and the dark clouds that engulfs the other side of the sky. “i should probably get back home.”
 “what about the bonfire?” your attention shifts to a panting namjoon jogging back at your direction from a small distance with yoongi strolling behind him. no, you shouldn`t be feeling like this. it`s just him walking with his soft pace completely overthrowing his wolfish instinct and be the stud one here. your gaze remained on him, his hands stuffed inside his pockets, his head down. look up, you said in your mind, look at me!
 please!
 everything after that faded against the background. the sounds of namjoon`s pants, the groans of jimin, the soft peal of giggles from taehyung and jeongguk and along with that hoseok`s conversation with namjoon. it was just you and him. his eyes on you, and yours returning the same deed. it was just the empty field of grass in-between both of you. his pace slowed more than before and you felt like something was putting you grounded to the place where you were sitting.
 why? you asked yourself, why were you feeling like this? what is there in those sharp-edged eyes, those lips that part to shamelessly show off the gummy smile?
 “we`ll return before it rains. stay with us.”yoongi broke the emptiness in-between both of you.
 lunatic. he was a lunatic to give you such feelings. he wasn`t even trying and you weren`t even complaining. it was just like two magnets pulling at each other and losing battles but nevertheless going towards each other. coming at last in front of you, he plopped next to you and then without giving you any moment to process or ask about his whereabouts, he rested his head on your lap, turning towards your tummy, he wraps a hand around your waist to nuzzle his face into your stomach.
 “finally.”
 yoongi breathes in your essence. there was no doubt in his mind now. he could clearly hear you a few seconds ago, his inner wolf got tainted with your smell and your voice called for him to look up and meet your eyes. all he needed right at this moment when the clock strikes 05:40 PM was the feel of your hand running through his hair and he would finally sleep with the doubts being lifted.
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k-fiction-therapy · 5 years
Text
Into The Night (Version 7 - Changkyun)
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Moodboard by Admin Scar
Starring: Im Changkyun & Reader
Includes: Vampire!AU, Library Sex & Dirty Talk
Rating: 18+
~*.*..*“Are you really a vampire like they all say?”*..*.*~
A/N: Hello, all! This is the seventh installment of “Into the Night”, a series that highlights seven very different Vampire!AU stories, each involving a different member of Monsta X as the main male lead. <3 I hope you enjoy them. I have been obsessed with Vampires since I was a child, and my attraction to them only grows the older I get~ I do hope that my take on these different vampire tropes tickles your fancy as it has mine.
Version 1 - Shownu
Version 2 - Wonho
Version 3 - Minhyuk
Version 4 - Kihyun
Version 5 - Hyungwon
Version 6 - Jooheon
Version 7 - Changkyun
Asks Open for Feedback, Comments, Kudos and Thoughts. <3
            The air outside was perfectly cool, and you felt the seasons changing as if it was happening in your bones. Your feet met the sidewalk outside of your school, and you stared up at it, its visage a blanket of opportunity to most, and a prison to some. Although you were still a new student, you generally thought of yourself in the neutral mindset between those absolute poles, but today you’d rather be at home in your bed, curled up and comfortable–though, your bed didn’t have quite this many handsome faces, and bright smiles. Serenaded by the male section of the student body even now, you swayed a bit, the bell shocking you out of your daydreaming, making you go a bit rigid, uniform ruffling slightly. Glancing up the front of the school, your eyes settled on flags and the like, sighing at how displays of school spirit made you feel even less proud.
            Newton High flew its banners with confidence, the bright yellow lettering of the school motto “Shine Forever” vibrant as ever as it stretched the length of the banner; which billowed outside the tall doors. The closer you got to the doors, the sweeter the air smelled, and you felt as if the cherry blossoms had been in bloom since you transferred there, framing the fairytale world you had always imagined the school to be. You had been there a few months by this point, but it was still a bit of a culture shock—and you were sure you’d never seen this many handsome boys in your life. God, you had heart palpitations every day over it—and as you dropped into your assigned seat in History class, you wondered how you’d ever force yourself to pay more attention to the lectures; even the teachers here were sexy.
            Your professor entered moments after you found yourself seated, and you watched him walk across the room, your eyes focused on how good he looked in those slacks. He smiled and faced the board a moment, writing the date and lecture title on the board before turning to face the class, “Good morning, students.” He smiled wide, opening the history textbook on his desk, fingers pushing up the nose of his glasses to situate them perfectly, “I know you are all eager to get to today’s lesson, but let’s begin class today by going over the homework from last night—oh, don’t groan, it’s only five questions, please.” He seemed annoyed, and though you found yourself unable to focus on anything but him at the moment, you hoped he wasn’t made enough to assign even more work, “Start with number one under multiple choice, at the end of chapter 12—Y/N—” He gestured to you, and you could have fallen out of your seat, clamoring to sit up straight. He nodded, eyes focused on you, “Can you answer it for me, please?”
            “Wha—um…well, it’s…Um…” You were panicking, staring down at a page of notes and nothing else. You had completely forgotten that you had had homework in the first place. Sinking a bit, you lifted your shoulders, wishing you could curl up in a ball, or at least hide in plain sight. Cringe. You wrinkled your brows, you hadn’t expected to be called, “I—didn’t do it. I’m sorry, Yoo Senpai.”
            Yoo Senpai turned to look at a girl in your class, a bit of a bratty troublemaker that sat closer to the front, but off to the side. He raised a brow at her, the corners of his lips twitching in what could almost be called a smile,“That makes both of you.” He said evenly, “Maybe I should keep you both after class.” He drug teeth across his bottom lip, before realizing what he was insinuating. Stammering, he swallowed, pushing his glasses back into place again, a nervous habit, “Ahem, anyone want to help Y/N out?”
            A voice, from your right, deeper than the other boys in class, was the first to answer, “It’s C. The Berlin wall came down in 1989.” They said, the sound causing you to turn your head and focus on its source. Im Changkyun, the resident bookworm and all-around odd ball, had answered the question for you. Rumors had always flooded the air around the male, but you had never actually spoken to him yourself—and now that you found your position directly next to him, you observed him, and found him to be quite handsome.
            So, this was the boy everyone talked about all the time? That jaw, those plump lips, pretty eyes, and slender frame—this was the weirdo? You could hardly believe it—but, you would be lying if you said it didn’t make you curious about him. You crossed your arms slowly, and regarded him for a moment, just looking over him, your eyes watching his elegant fingers open the book he had been reading, his focus leaving the lecture to focus on the words before him—he probably wouldn’t be called on again, anyways. You inhaled slowly, something about him speaking to you, making you feel the need to talk to him, to get closer.
            Yoo Senpai carried on as if you hadn’t just blatantly checked out, and Changkyun wasn’t reading something unrelated to class entirely. Eyes set on another part of the class, he waved a hand, “Very good, now. Let’s move on. Question 2—"
            Not wanting to call too much attention to yourself, you would pull a piece of scratch paper from your notebook and scrawl a quick “Thanks” on it, clumsily passing it to him with one finger, sliding it onto his desk. Yoo Senpai didn’t, and wouldn’t notice, seemingly done with the two of you for the day.
            Changkyun unfolded the piece of paper and smiled lightly as he stared at the word. Shifting his head to the side, his gorgeous hair undisturbed, though he tweaked a pierced eyebrow, dark makeup around his eyes making them look all the more piercing. Writing back in fairly good script, Changkyun sent back, “Don’t mention it”, tossing it onto your desk, the paper sliding close to your resting hand.
            It didn’t take you long to answer, figuring you might as well take the plunge. No time like the present, right? You wrote quickly, ‘Can I ask you a question? Are you really a vampire like they all say?’. You felt as if you had no tact, but you couldn’t just not ask him, and you couldn’t figure out a gentile way of posing such a question to someone. Better blunt than silent, you thought.
            Raising a brow, Changkyun scribbled, ‘Why?’
            ‘You’re always reading those books, and your teeth really look like fangs.’ You offered it back, your fingers brushing his, but you shrugged off the feeling.
            ‘Do you really want to know?’ He returned, tipping his head toward you, book sat down for the moment, his eyes focusing on you through slight periphery. He ran fingers down the slender column of his neck as he waited, curious what you might say.
            ‘Yes. Please.’ Was all you could manage to get back to him, both eager and a bit freaked out.
            When he offered the note back, you held it up, staring at the words for a long time. ‘Meet me in the library after school. Three-twenty, after she locks the front doors. The entrance by the back is left open for safety.’ What should you do? You swallowed the lump in your throat and looked back at him, slowly nodding your head, hesitation only making you look more innocent.
                                                      **************
            Sneaking into the library was easy using the door that Changkyun had suggested. You pretty much just walked right in as you would have if it were open during the day. The place was nearly dark, and in its dimness, you navigated your way around tables, looking around for the outcast, sure he was there somewhere. Standing in the center of the room, you wrinkled your brows, whispering rather loudly, “Changkyun…?”
            “Under here—” was all you heard from a nearby table, so you bent down, looking until you met the inhuman eyes of the other. Slipping down under the desk, you crawled to him, sitting with crisscrossed legs across from him.
            Settling, you laughed gently into the back of your hand, thinking it was very immature that you had just snuck into the library, of all places, in order to hide under a table with a guy—though, a small part of you felt a tiny thrill, “Why are you under the desk?”
            “Hey, we may be seniors, but we will still get in deep shit if we are caught breaking into the library after hours—” He said with a light shrug, looking more than at home right where he sat. You could tell this wasn’t the first time he’d snuck in here, “—so, I’m just trying to stay hidden so we can talk and no one will see us through the windows over there.” He pointed to a line of transparent glass windows, and you made an understanding sound, nodding.
            “Good call…” You said slowly, rolling your gaze back to him, focusing even in the dark, “So, back to my question. Are you a vampire? Or are you just faking everyone out?”
            He laughed as if he was about to call you cute for being so adamant, his body language rather controlled, yet relaxed, “Well, you do see my fangs, don’t you?” He asked, opening his lips slowly and licking over the vampiric shape of his canines.
            You blushed at the way he licked his teeth, but the dark hid it for the most part, “Yeah, but—”
            “You don’t believe they are real. I’m telling you, I am what I am.” He shrugged before leaning forward slightly, with confident intent, his hand lifting to point towards his teeth, “Here. Touch them.”
            “I—” Something compelled you to act, like an invisible force, and you couldn’t help yourself. Normally, you wouldn’t go anywhere near someone else’s teeth, but now you found yourself reaching forward, touching a fang slowly. Moving down and over the tip, you felt it prick your finger, almost sharp enough to cut without pain, “Ouch—Nn—”
            Blood pooled in a small sphere at the prick where the fang had met the tip of your finger, and you stared at him, his reaction sealing your suspicions. Pupils swallowing the color of his eyes, he growled low, the scent of your blood striking him, making his lust flare. Taking your hand by the wrist, he pushed your finger into his lips, sucking the blood from it, making you whimper hard. That handsome face twisted a bit in pleasure, and he moaned around your digit before pulling back, showing you the length of his tongue, a gentle smear of red against the center of it.
            You took your hand back and stared at the finger that he had been sucking on, blinking as you found it no longer bleeding, a tiny prick point still visible. Before you could say a word, or fully react to what he had just done, he was in your space, his nose brushing yours. Palms bracing on either side of you, he came over you until you fell to your back, legs spreading to allow him closer, mesmerized by the primal look in his eyes, that nearly glowed in the dim light of the unattended library. Settling his hips against your core, you swallowed hard, finding yourself intensely aroused at just the way he pressed himself to you. If you were honest, you’d never thought of him this way. He was just the odd outcast in class that spent more time reading books than he did socializing with the rest of the student body—and now he was on top of you, and you thirsted for him as much as his eyes reflected the same need.
            It wasn’t that you were against this happening in that moment, completely enchanted and transfixed by the vampire that had all but pinned you to the ground. Blushing, you breathed deeply, words betraying your throbbing core, “Changkyun, we shouldn’t—” You gestured between them and to the table you were beneath, “Like this…”
            Changkyun smirked deviantly and wiggled his brows, “You’re right…I know a better way.” He said, moving back just enough to gain leverage, hands coming upon you to turn you gently, forcing you dominantly onto your stomach, your face against the dense carpet of the library floor. You whimpered, and he ran hands down the curve of your spine, growling softly as his digits met the waistline of your bottoms, slipping beneath them slightly so that he could easily pull them down, revealing the supple shape of your backside and the tops of your thighs—lowering them just enough to give himself a bit of space.
            Nails at carpet, you breathed heavily, the feeling of being exposed arousing you even further, your muscles fluttering with need. You snuffled out a soft moan, and you could almost sense him smirk, driven forward by your obvious arousal. You would hear his belt, and zipper, and then feel the press of his body against yours, the length of his cock slipping perfectly between supple flesh, the hooked shape of his cock perfect for the angle he’d chosen. Groaning, he pushed the thick head into your needy muscles, and you gasped loudly, arching your back to aid, your pants causing a bit of restraint, though you didn’t mind.
            Hands braced on either side of your head, fingers overlapping yours almost affectionately, he would gently slide himself in deeper, inch after inch taken until he was fully hilted inside of you, “Ah, fuck…you’re already so tight…” He whispered, voice infinitely deeper than before, the tone shaking you to your core. He paused for only a moment before he began to thrust, his pace set as steady as the ticking clock, fucking you gorgeously into the floor, the carpet harsh on your skin, but your focus was on how that cock struck you deep, making you writhe.
            Changkyun’s hips picked up their pace and he arched over you, his fingers shifting so that his hands were over yours, entwining your digits, his muscles working to pull him from your depths before forcing back inside of you deeply, filling you beautifully with each movement that he made. He breathed ragged, skin heating as he worked himself in and out of you, aiming to hit every sensitive nerve, making you crazed with pleasure. Your lips peeled open against the floor and you moaned sweetly, shaking, “Ch-Changkyun—y-yes!”
            After a while, Changkyun was shaking a bit himself, the strength of his arms wavering just a bit, “Shh, baby. Keep quiet…Mm…fucking take this cock…” He groaned, his head tipping down, allowing you to feel the bangs of his hair against your shoulder-blades, “…ah, you like my dick so deep inside of you, don’t you? Mmm…You’re going to cum for me quickly, aren’t you?” His voice was the sexiest thing that had ever met your ears, and you found yourself shaking as he spoke, muscles undulating around his cock, showing how close you were.
            “O-oh, you’re going to make me—oh, fuck…c-cum!” You grit your teeth as you took thrust after thrust, the pace of those hips intoxicating, driving you to the edge and then over, your fingernails digging into the carpet for purchase that would not be found, your entire body quaking as your eyes shut tight. You couldn’t stop yourself from moaning loudly into the floor, and your orgasmic sounds filled the empty library. You swore you were seeing stars in the dark, the hard pulsing of your muscles as they milked him causing your hips to jerk and muscles to jump a bit.
            He could hardly take how your body worked him, your spasming core taking him for all he had. Eyebrow wrinkling and hair falling out of place, Changkyun rolled his hips in circles, the friction and change of movement causing his demise quickly. Throwing his head back, he howled in bliss, nails mirroring your own as they flexed, his body trembling, cock pumping hot cum into you, filling you to the brim. Changkyun exhaled harshly, trying to calm himself, but it would take several moments.
            Leaning down, body still jerking a bit with aftershock, his cock still perfectly buried inside of you, he would press his lips to your spine, allowing you to feel his fangs graze your skin a moment. You shivered, your heart beginning to calm, though you still shuddered from leftover spikes of pleasure. As your eyes fluttered open, you smiled, keeping your fingers entwined with his, flexing them so that you made it more of a hand-hold than a primal urge.
            “I just had sex with a vampire…” You blurted, hating yourself the moment it came out of your mouth. He chuckled and kept his lips against your skin, just kissing around the areas of flesh that he could reach, giving his girth enough time to settle before gently pulling out of you. You made a disappointed noise once he was gone from you; though you would swear it was involuntary.
            “Come on, I’ll help you get cleaned up. We should get out of here.” He said softly before moving to his knees, practically sitting on the backs of your thighs, admiring the cum that dripped down your core. He licked his lips in appreciation before backing up, offering you a hand before winking, “…I won’t bite you this time.”
                                                    **************
            Cleaned and returned to the hallway, Changkyun would see you out the door. It was oddly sweet that he wanted to stay close to you for the time being, but you could take it from here. Smiling, you waved to him, and he nodded, “I’ll see you around. I have to return a book, then I’ll be on the road as well.” You could have called him a nerd for being so concerned about book returns after he’d just fucked you into oblivion, but you figured you’d let him have this one considering how mind blowing the orgasm he’d just given you was. So, you settled for a quick goodbye before prancing off down the hall and toward the doors, sneaking back out and down the road toward your house.
            Back in the library, Changkyun returned to his backpack and pulled out the book he had been reading prior in the classroom. Moving through the stacks, he found the proper section, glancing at all the books before hooking his copy beneath his arm for the time being. Dropping a hand, he pulled a small medicine bottle from his pocket and opened it, his free hand working off the fangs he’d been wearing with a dense pop, revealing fairly normal canines beneath. Smiling, he dropped both faux fangs into the bottle before pocketing it again. Thank God for dental glue.
            Looking back to the books, his eyes glowed, his own supernatural element dancing behind them. Pulling the seventh volume from under his arm, he would put it gently back into its place on the shelf, a smile covering his face as he looked at the line of books. How he loved them—but, if the alpha found out he was reading about vamps, he’d be the laughing stock of the pack. Ears wiggling, he reached a hand up, almost as if he were saying goodbye to the series, fingers trailing over gold gilded words—
            “Into the Night.” 
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fortheloveofsakkara · 4 years
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Our Broken Judicial System
Kyle’s case: A Judicial Disgrace
Chapter One: And so it begins.......
As Americans, we are taught to respect and trust our judicial officers. We believe judges and commissioners are honest, trustworthy and fair to all. They take an oath to defend our Constitution, right? They’re supposed to follow our laws, as they are written, to rule without opinion, to be unbiased and search for truth. They are suppose to make their rulings based on facts and evidence. Prosecutors were the legal representatives of the people, the protectors that rid communities of criminals to keep everyone safe. We are taught to believe that prosecutors are honest. There are rules that they are to follow, procedures, law and they are to perform their duties with integrity while safeguarding the rights and liberties of all. It is shocking and unbelievable to learn that there are judges that cannot be trusted, to learned that prosecutors place their conviction rate above all else and despicable to discover that defense attorneys do little to nothing to defend their clients. How is this possible? This story comes straight from the court record and is documented for all to verify.
Our judicial system is no longer working. It needs not only to be overhauled, it needs to be drained of all the bad actors. Judges and Commissioners need to be monitored in everything they do in the courtroom and it must be transparent to the public.
This is the story of one man’s decent into hell. His story is shocking and it undermines the trust that should never be broken between the public and our judicial officers. How can a society function safely if our trust is compromised? Our judicial system exists for only one reason, to keep the public safe.
There are twists and turns, there are facts that will make you shake your head in disbelief.
Kyle met Douangchay Nelson in early January 2008. She was exotic and mysterious. She was among the “A” crowd in the clubs of downtown Seattle. She lived in a high rise building just a block away from the club where these two met. You could set your watch to when she’d arrive and how long she’d stayed. She knew everyone that frequented these clubs, and was fully aware of the goings on there. She had been going to these clubs since turning 21 years old and at the time she met Kyle, her age was 32. Kyle, on the other hand, wasn’t the clubbing type and had only been a few times. Douangchay was also fully aware when a new face showed up in the crowd, after all, she’d been a fixture there for over ten years. That fateful night Douangchay was being pursued by another man, and while dancing, she grabbed Kyle’s arm and lied to the other man. She told the other man that Kyle was her boyfriend. As the evening went on, Kyle and Douangchay danced and talked. At the end of the night, Kyle asked to walk her home. She agreed and they spent that night and the whole of the following day together. They exchanged phone numbers and Kyle went home. A little over 30 days later, Douangchay had moved Kyle into her high rise apartment. This is how their relationship began. Getting himself entangled with the woman would be Kyle’s undoing.
After a few months, Kyle discovered that Douangchay had a young son, who was obviously not in her life. When Kyle asked about her boy, she would become irritated and change the subject. Kyle didn’t understand, and she blamed her son’s father. She told Kyle that he was abusive. Kyle had no reason to believe she would lie about this. He took her at her word.
It wasn’t long after and Kyle discovered Douangchay was, also still married. What is known is that she married in 2001 and according to her, her husband, like the father of her son, was abusive, also. (Are you starting to see a pattern?) Kyle felt bad for this poor woman that had been through so much. He could not have been more wrong about her.
Throughout the first two years, the relationship was pretty much like their first night. They, together now, frequented the clubs downtown. Douangchay, despite having a boyfriend, refused to change her need to spend Thursday through Sunday in the clubs. When Kyle suggested they do something other than clubbing, she would becoming angry and a ‘How dare you suggest I do something other than go to the clubs’, attitude would emerge. It became the root of almost every argument they had throughout the entire eight (8) years of their relationship. Kyle, many times, went along just to save an argument. She was adamant that going to the club was never to be trifled with, no exceptions allowed.
January 30, 2010, a Saturday, was slightly different because on this night the couple was invited to a party at a sports bar about 15 miles from where they lived. Kyle knew none of Douangchay friends that would be attending this party, so he agreed to be the driver and let her do as much partying as she desired. She started drinking before they left their apartment. Kyle stayed sober. As the night went on, Kyle couldn’t help but notice that Douangchay was drinking in excess. He’d never seen her drink like this before. She was challenging others to “drink them under the table” and within an hours time, she consumed no less than six shots of hard alcohol. She was becoming more and more inebriated and obnoxious, both in word and action. She was stumbling and slurring her words. Kyle started to watch closer at this point. He asked her to slow down with her drinking and this enraged her. She started calling Kyle names, telling the others that Kyle was her “gay boyfriend”. Embarrassed by her behavior, Kyle knew he needed to get her home to bed so she could sleep this off. Outside the bar, Kyle finally convinced her to let him take her home. The couple went back inside and told the party their good byes. Kyle helped Douangchay into his Jeep and they started for home.
On that ride, Douangchay started her ranting and raving once again. She called him “gay” and “a piece of shit”. Kyle told her she was drunk and to be quiet and her response to that was, “The only reason your ex girlfriend stayed with you is because she was fat, ugly and insecure”. Kyle ignored her verbal attack and she turned into something Kyle had never seen, nor dealt with, in his life. She began a physical attack scratching and hitting him; screaming, calling him a “piece of shit”. She was completely out of control, and Kyle had to stop her before she caused an accident. Yes, Kyle was driving at the time of this attack. Kyle grabbed for her and got ahold of her hair. He placed her head near the dashboard until he could safely come to a stop. This would later be used against him by the prosecution. Douangchay then opened the door of the vehicle and stumbled out. Kyle, in shock, drove his vehicle around the corner and parked it in the parking lot of their apartment complex. This attack happened just a half block from where they lived. Still reeling from what just happened, Kyle left, on foot. He needed to clear his head. Never in his life had he witnessed such behavior. He was hurt and mixed with emotions. He walked around for over two hours and had no idea that a person saw Douangchay stumbling around and called 911, thinking she could be hurt. EMS and police were dispatched to her. According to the police report, Douangchay refused to cooperate, and only admitted to calling Kyle gay. She left out the part where she physically attacked him. The police took her home. There is no way possible that the police could not have known that she was extremely intoxicated.
After clearing his head, Kyle decided to go home, he started to truly believe that the lady he had come to love would be apologetic. He believed she’d be remorseful for her behavior and they would be able to talk about what happened. He would be wrong, once again. He underestimated Douangchay’s rage. When Kyle opened the door to their apartment, all was quiet. Their bedroom door, just to the right of the front door, was closed. They lived there alone, so this was odd, that bedroom door was never closed. Kyle walked through the living room, past the kitchen and into the dining room. He sat with his back toward the bedroom door and proceeded in taking off his shoes. His plan was to sleep on the sofa and talk to Douangchay when she slept off her drunk. This was not to be. Seconds later, the bedroom door flew open and Douangchay sprinted toward Kyle, slapping and scratching at his head, back and shoulders. Kyle was in total disbelief. He stood up with arms flailing about trying to defend off this second attack. He made contact, with her face, arms and upper body, numerous times. All the while Douangchay yelling, “Are you happy now you hit a girl?” She was, in no way, going to take responsibility for her own actions. Kyle was dumbfounded by her behavior and her blaming him for all of this. It was like she was possessed. Douangchay, by her own admission, in the police report, ran out of the door and started pounding on the neighbor’s door. When she received no reply, she re-entered their apartment. (It must be noted: The police asked Douangchay this question: Did he stop you from leaving?” And her reply was: “yes”. This was a contradiction of her statement made just seconds before. Clearly, if she was able to leave and beat on a neighbor’s door, she was able to leave all together) Upon re-entering the apartment, she ran to the bedroom, threw open the window and started screaming, “Help! A man is hitting me!” It’s very telling that she chose those words. Her using “a man” instead of “my boyfriend” is a classic projecting behavior.
Kyle was arrested, placed in jail and like Douangchay’s husband in 2002, Kyle agreed to a Stipulated Order of Continuance.
Kyle was not an abuser. Douangchay Nelson née Suannoy was, in fact, the abuser. Kyle was not her first victim nor her second, Kyle Collins was her third victim. All these men had only one common denominator, a very intoxicated Douangchay.
Chapter Two: Who is Douangchay, really?...
According to court records, Douangchay Nelson, née Suannoy was quite busy in her younger years. It is believed that she came to the United States in 1991 or 1992. She was 15 years old. She met a young man, we’ll call him Adam, and soon after they were parents to a baby boy. They tried for a couple years to make this relationship work, but when their son was two years old, it ended. She blames everything on Adam. “He was abusive”, she says. It’s unclear as to the truth of exactly what happened. It is true that Douangchay walked away from her toddler son and, if there is truth told by her, she left the boy with an “abusive” father. Adam has been interviewed on several occasions in preparation of writing this story and his account of events differ greatly from hers. No surprise there.
It’s very important to add a bit of information here. Douangchay is not a U.S. citizen, she holds a “green card” here in this country. A “green card” can be revoked if certain conditions arise. Giving a fake name in the commission of committing a crime, to law enforcement, is a serious crime and doing this can jeopardize the ability to maintain the “green card” status. A person can be deported for this offense. There are also laws about moral turpitude that can come into play. Things like abandoning a child, not paying child support and DUI, are all crimes of turpitude. Douangchay is guilty of many deportable offenses, as will become apparent in the next few paragraphs. Everything was kept from Kyle. For eight years he slept next to this woman, became engaged to be married to this woman and had a beautiful daughter with this woman. She, her family, and her numerous friends, all hid these facts from Kyle.
On February 4, 1998, charges of attempted possession of stolen property 2 were filed in King County, Washington District Court West Division, a class C felony, against “Vanessa” Suannoy. Yes, she, throughout this whole case used her alias. When the judge referred her to the Office of Public Defense, (hereafter OPD) on February 17, 1998, “Vanessa” failed to report to them. If she wanted a free lawyer, a screening would need to be done. These screening include showing identification and proof of income. Had she have reported to the OPD, it would have come to light that her true name, was in fact, Douangchay Suannoy, at this time. A prosecutor would have been, according to law, forced to add another charge. Knowingly making a false or misleading material statement to a police officer in violation of RCW 9A.76.175. The State would have had to charge her with refusal to give a name or address, or giving a false name or address under the specific statute of RCW 46.61.020. The likelihood of the judge allowing her plea to be reduced, after giving a false name, is not very likely. When a person gives false information, judges take it as the defendant is hiding truth, as they should. So, “Vanessa” Suannoy pleaded guilty to the charge and received a deferred prosecution. She was placed on probation for 12 months and a small fine was imposed. March 11, 1999, a review of the case would be held. This review was held, as scheduled, “Vanessa” did not show up, the court reviewed the case and she did not pay her fine. April 1, 1999, court reviewed again, defendant present. The court gave her another chance to get this right, yet on the last review, held on May 27, 1999, “Vanessa” again, is a no show. A warrant for her arrest was issued through 2002 and again through 2004. She was found guilty of both charges. By this time “Vanessa” Suannoy no longer existed. In November of 2001, “Vanessa” Suannoy married Scott David Nelson and she became Douangchay Nelson.
Douangchay Suannoy was arrested on February 22, 2000 and charged with DUI. This time she used her true name. She had an actual warrant still in King County, but because they were under different names, the authorities didn’t put two and two together. Douangchay skated right past the felony warrant.
Scott David Nelson was 24 years old when he married Douangchay Suannoy. On the marriage license she split her first name in two parts. So, literally, Scott married Douang Chay. Because of her behavior towards Kyle, we have to wonder if Scott knew about her criminal history. She was on probation at the time they married. The couple lived in bliss for a full year and just after their first anniversary, the honeymoon was definitely over. November 28, 2002, Scott and Douangchay clashed. According to police records, the couple were having marital problems. Douangchay was staying with her friend, drinking and partying. Douangchay called Scott at 5:00 a.m. asking him to come pick her up. Scott, still in bed, got up and drove to where his wife was staying. It was a little over two miles from their own home. The record reflects that she had, in fact, been drinking. The similarities between the incidents of Scott and Kyle are uncanny. Scott and Kyle were both driving a very intoxicated Douangchay home. In both cases alcohol played a huge roll. Both men were sober. In Scott’s case, the incident happened a 25 minute walk from the couple’s apartment. The police report states that Douangchay walked back to the apartment, while calling her friend, and asking her friend to call police. Douangchay was already at the apartment when her friend showed up. QUESTION: Why would a grown woman return to a place where a man she “fears” is known to be? It took her 25 minutes to get to Scott, if she truly feared, wouldn’t it be more likely to return to her friends house instead of going to where her “abuser” is? See, this just locks in the notion that Douangchay isn’t fearful at all, on the contrary, Douangchay likes to keep arguments going. She was angry, because like Kyle, Scott didn’t like the drinking and partying that Douangchay insisted on doing. Scott states that his wife punched him in the face, but she is not arrested. Scott goes to jail, is place on a Stipulated Order of Continuance, probation and treatment, all at his expense. I wonder if Scott, like Kyle, continued to live with Douangchay through his court case. Did she go, with her advocate, sit on the side of the prosecutor and then return home with Scott, acting as if nothing happened? And an even more important question: had Kyle been made aware of Scott’s fate with Douangchay, would Kyle have continued his relationship with this woman? The answer is clear, no man would continue a relationship with a woman if he knew that she brought domestic violence charges against two other men before they met. Douangchay knew this and chose, instead, to hide her past from Kyle.
Chapter Three: the saga continues…
Kyle and Douangchay continued on with their relationship. Kyle, blind to who he was with and Douangchay hiding her past from him. The relationship was tumultuous. We have to remember, Kyle agreed to a Stipulated Order of Continuance in 2010. Kyle and Scott both didn’t want Douangchay to get into trouble. They took blame to save her. Douangchay went before the court three separate times asking that the no contact order be lifted and saying “Kyle is not a danger to me”. She refused to cooperate with the prosecution and continued living with Kyle throughout. Together, they lied to the court and gave a friends address where court records could be sent. The conditions of Kyle’s SOC, like Scott’s, were: Treatment, probation, pay recoupment to public defender, pay costs, no new criminal violation during the period of the Continuance. Kyle complied with each and every condition. By April 29, 2012, the date of expiration of the SOC, Kyle had complied with each and every condition. But, the prosecution wanted more. The Redmond City Prosecutor filed a Motion for Revocation of the SOC on June 26, 2012. He “sewer served”. Sewer service is defined as: “Sewer service is an epithet for the intentional failure to provide service of process on a named party in a lawsuit, in order to prevent the party from having a chance to respond. The phrase refers to the figure of speech of throwing the documents into a sewer”. The prosecution had Kyle’s address. Kyle filed a “New address” with the court on July 18, 2011, through his probation officer, James OShersky, a full 11 months prior to the prosecution’s Motion for Revocation. This document was marked “confidential”. It’s astonishing to find these two facts in the court record. Stopping to these levels is hard to believe, but it’s true. This was not discovered until recently. Coupled with the sewer service, this stinks of abuse on the part of the prosecution.
Stipulated Order of Continuance, otherwise known as SOC, is an agreement between the prosecutor and the defendant in a case. These are granted and overseen by the court, but the court is not a party to them. The court only becomes a party if a Motion for Revocation is filed by the prosecution for violation of the agreement. SOCs are used to give a first time offender a chance to have the charges dismissed if the defendant jumps through the prosecutor’s hoops. In Kyle’s case, the SOC looks a bit different. Why? Because it contains the words “approximately 24 months”. A competent defense attorney would not have allow this phrase if his/her client was offered an SOC. This phrase negates the fairness that’s required in any agreement and deems this document “void for vagueness” as law requires. “Approximately” is not allowed according to the rule book. Kyle’s case follows the rules outlined in LCrRLJ 8.3(c)(1-17) . This rule is in place to protect the parties interests, both parties. In this rule, it is very clear about the contents of minimum requirements in an SOC. The language, “A clear statement…” is what starts every content of (c)1-17. Number 6 is relevant to Kyle’s case and states; “A clear statement of the period of the Continuance, which shall be no more than 2 years”. The “approximately”, leaves the agreement open-ended. In a criminal case of any kind, everything that transpires, has to be clearly spelled out. There’s no room for interpretation.
Kyle jumped through every hoop in this case, despite his innocence. He signed the SOC on April 29, 2010; this means it expired on April 29, 2012, right? Think again. The prosecution filed the revocation on June 26, 2012. How is this possible? The SOC was expired. Let us go back to the first two paragraphs of this story. Prosecutors cannot be trusted. Prosecutors want convictions and they’ll do anything to get them. They will “sewer service”, undermine procedure, push rules aside and, they will also make sure that documents that blow apart their cases, are marked in the record, as “confidential”. Due process of law is not high on their priority list. This places the public in jeopardy. If prosecutors cannot be trusted, then who can we trust in our judicial system? The judges job is to verify all procedures have been followed. Not one judge, in Kyle’s case, verified anything.
Oh wait, it gets worse.
This case took place in Redmond, Washington, a city just northeast and across Lake Washington, from Seattle. The prosecutor was Richard Lawrence Mitchell, wsba # 21606. In his Motion for Revocation, he accuses Kyle of not paying costs and not completing treatment. Both of these accusations were false. Mitchell was running for election to become a judge in 2010 and this is a powerful motive to bolster his conviction rate. This motion should have died right there, but it did not. Judge Michael Finkle set a hearing for July 25, 2012. He placed Holly Joy Johnson a Pro Tem Judge to preside over the hearing (NOTE: This was copied and pasted from the WSBA Page: Holly Joy Johnson, WSBA No.32784, admitted 2002, of Seattle, “..resigned in lieu of discipline, effective 9/19/2017. The lawyer agrees that she is aware of the alleged misconduct in disciplinary counsel’s Statement of Alleged Misconduct and rather than defend against the allegations, she wishes to permanently resign from membership in the Association. The Statement of Alleged Misconduct reflects the following violations of the Rules of Professional Conduct: 1.15A (Safeguarding Property), 3.4 (Fairness to Opposing Party and Counsel), 8.1 (Bar Admission and Disciplinary Matters), 8.4 (Misconduct). Sachia Stonefeld Powell and Kathy Jo Blake acted as disciplinary counsel. Holly Joy Johnson represented herself. Karen A. Clark was the hearing officer. Andrekita Silva was the settlement hearing officer. The online version of NWLawyer contains a link to the following document: Resignation Form of Holly Joy Johnson (ELC 9.3(b)).as made to resign for unethical behavior by the Washington State Bar Association). Kyle was a no-show and a warrant for his arrest issued. Well, surprise, surprise. He never received notice of this hearing. Mitchell sent the notice to a wrong address. So, a warrant was issued by judge pro tem Norm Leopold. Leopold, like Johnson, assumed Prosecutor Mitchell had done his job. These part-time judges never looked at this case, they blindly believed Mitchell. These judges rely on the prosecutors to do their jobs. They believe every word prosecutors say and they almost never question them. In this case, the judge did no fact finding. He never questioned Mitchell. He should have.
Mitchell never received a non-compliance letter from the probation department. No non-compliance from the treatment agency. Kyle paid over a thousand dollars, by this time, to the court. The SOC says to Pay $350.00 costs by 180 days, but the problem with this SOC, yet again, is that it doesn’t clearly state to whom this cost should be paid. Like the “approximately” language, this does not follow the minimum requirements of content in an SOC agreement. It’s confusing, and Mitchell likes when defendant’s and their inexperienced defense attorneys are confused. In researching this case, many SOC documents were discovered that were exactly the same form used in Kyle’s case. Mitchell was in the habit of used that document for many defendants. The rules about content of SOCs were revised in 2008, but Mitchell chose to continue using it and no judge objected to this.
Kyle’s warrant sat for 77 days, until he was pulled over for a minor traffic infraction. To Kyle’s utter shock, the police officer came back with his license and the news of this warrant. The officer had no other choice but to arrest. Kyle was taken into custody in Shoreline and the transfer to Redmond. Kyle and Douangchay were still living together at this time, and they were pregnant. Their daughter was due in January 2013. Kyle was arrested on October 10, 2012. Kyle was arraigned on October 11 without an attorney present. The court docket states, “Defendant present in-custody Pro se”, then it states “Counsel Trishana Ellis present on behalf of defendant”, but Trishana Ellis isn’t a lawyer. The Washington State Bar Association has no record of a Trishana Ellis holding a license to practice law. Now, the original two noncompliance violations became three, 107 days after the SOC had expired, they decided to add yet another non-compliance violation, to bolster they weak case. This Pro Tem Judge, like Pro Tem Holly Joy Johnson, was Darrell Phillipson. This Pro Tem judge resigned his license to practice law in Washington, as did Linda Jacke, the judge for whom Phillipson was sitting in place of that day. Oh yes, three (3) judges that sat on Kyle’s case were made to resign. Little fishy, wouldn’t you say?. This time they added “pending assault 4 and malicious mischief”. The problem with this is very simple, this pending case happened 8 days after the SOC had expired. It did not fall in the period of the SOC, at all. You would have thought that the defense law firm would have argued this at the last hearing, on November 15, 2012, before the conviction, but they did not and this is why this law firm can be described as incompetent, unfit, and negligent.
The law firm that represented Kyle throughout this case was Stein, Lotzkar & Starr? Elissa Brine represented at the SOC Hearing and she is to blame for the substandard SOC. Interestingly, just 12 days before Kyle was arrested, the law firm officially withdrew from the case. They stated, in their motion, that they attempted to contact Kyle, but didn’t succeed. Kyle could have been contacted easily, he kept the same phone number for over 15 years. Whatever the law firm said in that motion to withdraw, is suspicious, to say the least. The prosecution says Kyle admitted to this pending assault charge. This is true. The prosecution, court judges and defense allowed Kyle to be railroaded in this case. They did nothing to stop this.
November 15, 2012, Kyle was convicted on both charges of domestic violence. He was an innocent man that was only defending himself for a physical attack, by a woman that had done this twice before, to two other men. This woman, a brazen alcoholic, dangerous to anyone that crosses her path while she’s under the influence of alcohol. Again, corrupt Holly Joy Johnson sat in judgment and imposed sentencing. In between conviction and sentencing, they did figure out the Kyle did complete treatment, but that is as far as they would go. It was an after thought. Kyle was sentenced to:
• 12 months suspended, court imposes jail time of 364 days on charge 1 with 359 days suspended, and 5 days credit for time served.
• Total Imposed on charge 1 with $5000 suspended and $338.00 other amount ordered
• monitored unsupervised probation for 3 months,
• Final review Monitored probation for 9 months.
• FNL Review set for August 15, 2013.
• Finding/Judgment of Guilty deferred prosecution revoked for charge 2
• Judge Pro Tem Johnson, Holly Imposed sentence
• Court imposes jail time of 364 days on charge 2 with 359 days suspended, and 5 days credit for time served
• Total imposed on charge 2: with $5000 suspended and
• $0.00 other amount ordered
This case has been used to destroy the relationship between Kyle and his daughter. This is just the beginning, this story continues with more twists and turns. There are other prosecutors, judges, commissioners and lawyers that will be named......
Part two: demented behavior doesn’t come close……
Time went by fast and after Snohomish County Legal Services and all their goon lawyers used the above King Co. District court case to destroy a father/daughter relationship, Kyle looked into the case further. All the years that past, Kyle thought that it was handled the right way. He had no idea of the sewer service, adding a new charge and convicting him of this new charge. He had no idea that the prosecution and his own defense attorney had screwed him over at every turn.
An argument ensued in February of 2019, with the King County District Court Records Department to release the “New Address filed” filed in July 2011. After multiple emails, the records department sent the request to Judge Lisa Paglisotti. She read the emails and signed for this document to be public, she removed the confidential status. This is when it came to light that Kyle was, in fact, sewer served. Proof was right there, no question, in black and white. So, Kyle took some time, gathered documents and wrote a motion. He filed the motion on April 11, 2019. This motion brought up a question of jurisdiction. Jurisdiction is only established if a defendant is properly served. The prosecution is obligated to prove they served. In Kyle’s case, they did not serve, nor did they file any kind of “proof of service” in any form. The motion was sent to Judge Lisa Paglisotti for review. It sat with her for 27 days before “Motion hearing set to give the city a chance to respond” was her decision. The prosecution did not respond, but waited until the hearing. This time is was Prosecuting Attorney Stefani Snow (wsba #28100) and Judge Rhonda Laumann (wsba #22126) that went up against Kyle. It may sound a bit off by saying the judge was against Kyle, but it’s true. Rhonda Laumann, sitting on the bench, acted like a prosecutor. She did not, in any way, act like an impartial judge. Stefani Snow said little until the end when she stated that Kyle admitted to the new charge pending that ultimately convicted him. Laumann argued with Kyle about the wording of the Stipulated Order of Continuance. She denied that the language was, in fact, “approximately 24 months”. Kyle argued right back. He told this judge that the “new charge pending” did not fall in the period of the continuance and should not have been allowed. Laumann argued even more. She looked and found another reason to throw out the motion. She used an excuse that there was a time limit of one year. This judge was hell bent to get Kyle out of her courtroom, and she did just that.
Jurisdiction is paramount in criminal law. It establishes authority of the court to rule in a case. Without jurisdiction, a court’s hands are tied. For jurisdiction, in any court, to be established, service of process must be proven by the party bringing it. This means the State must serve the defendant all charging documents, including, but not limited to Motions, notice to appear, etc. The prosecution did not do this, therefore the court did not have personal jurisdiction over Kyle. This was the first issue that Kyle brought in his Motion, it was ignored by Laumann. Whenever a question is brought about jurisdiction, a court is required to investigate. They cannot continue without knowing they have obtain the authority to do so.
This is not an isolated case. When the Redmond City Judicial officers were made to resign, they left, in their wake, a slough of cases that beg to be re-examined.
Part Three…the real motive emerges…
Kyle and Douangchay stayed together through the pregnancy. Their child was born on January 19, 2013. The couple moved Douangchay’s sister and nephew into their home and she took the position of nanny for their daughter. All was good throughout the next 14 months or so, but the sister/nanny decided she wanted to move on and move out. She’d helped out enough and gave Kyle and Douangchay “notice” of her departure.
Now the couple needed to find daycare for their daughter. Douangchay reached out to a friend she had known since her arrival in the U.S. Suphol Phab was her name, but she, like Douangchay went by an alias, “Samantha”. Douangchay hid the fact that “Sam” was a felon and therefore would never be allowed to have a daycare license. Douangchay hid everything that most would find to be critical information, in making the choice on a daycare provider for their child. Kyle would never have agreed to placing his daughter with a felon.
Soon, Douangchay’s need to frequent the clubs, emerged again, and with it came conflict between the couple. Kyle truly believed that becoming a mother, for a second time, would diminish her fixation on these places. Douangchay still was incapable of putting her family, Kyle and their daughter, above herself. Their opposition grew and their relationship would not survive. Douangchay’s threat of taking away their daughter from Kyle was her favorite. She threatened used this every time they had a disagreement and even making jokes about it in front of others. She knew this scared the hell out of Kyle, as it would any parent. Kyle took these threats very serious, after all, Douangchay had strong ties to Southeast Asia. Coupled with Douangchay abandoning her first child, her threats terrified Kyle. He knew she could accomplish her demented threats with little effort and Kyle was desperate, he did a foolish deed, he placed a track devise on her vehicle. He knew he’d lose his child and didn’t care about consequences. The fear of losing his precious daughter is all that matter, he had to act. He was in protect-my-child mode.
Kyle and Douangchay did attend a few couples counseling sessions, in an attempt to fix their relationship, but these failed due to Douangchay’s inability to take responsibility for her own behavior. She blamed Kyle for everything that went wrong between them. Like the men before him, Kyle couldn’t take anymore. He ended the relationship right there, in front of the therapist, and walked out the door. Douangchay persuaded the therapist to call Kyle to get him to return, but Kyle knew it was over. Kyle realized that Douangchay wasn’t interested in mending the relationship, her motives for counseling, were nothing more than getting a professional to agree with her in that Kyle needed to be fixed. The months following were chaotic, emotional and eye opening for Kyle.
The two agreed that they would share time with their daughter, but soon this broke down. Douangchay’s need to be in total control was important than their daughter’s need to have a relationship with her father. She started using their child as a weapon. Kyle tried to appease her, but soon, it became clear that Douangchay was not going to be cooperative in their co-parenting. The communications between these two became impossible, they became engrossed in bad behavior. They engaged in name-calling via text messages, neither one could step away from the other. For six(6) months they fought over everything, not having a nice thing to say to, nor about one another. Kyle was advised by family, to file a parenting plan, but refused saying he knew they could work it out with her. This decision would not be a good one. Douangchay was scheming and collecting, she was going to court for a Restraining order against Kyle.
On August 15, 2016, Kyle walked out of the Snohomish County Courthouse restrained from Douangchay. Because all women must be believed and therefore protected, men are automatically assumed as abusers. Douangchay, in her petition, claimed there were police reports, yet none were submitted. She submitted text messages as proof that Kyle was harassing her. The text messages were edited beyond belief. She omitted her part in them, 90% had no dates attached to them. They were taken out of context and designed to make Kyle look like a monster. Her ploy worked in spades. She stated how “fearful” she was of him. Then, later, the same day Snohomish County Superior Court Commissioner Tracy Waggoner signed the restraining order, Douangchay showed up at Kyle’s residence and attempted to have him arrested. This proving she had no fear of him whatsoever. Witness accounts say Douangchay exited her vehicle, walk up to Kyle and threatened him. Snohomish County Deputy Sheriff Josh Wheeler was dispatched. Deputy Wheeler asked Douangchay to leave Kyle’s residence. Kyle filed for a parenting plan a week later.
Douangchay was determined in her threats and actions to remove Kyle from not only her life, but the life of their daughter. After all, Douangchay knew exactly how the system worked years before she met Kyle. She had gained favor with the court through the restraining order process, and now she went to work to further her plan. From September 2016 through July of 2017, Douangchay went back and forth, from the restraining order to the parenting plan, using false allegations of abuse, to add their child to the restraining order. Just a few days before the parenting plan hearing, she went to the restraining order case and tried to modify it, Ex parte,
Kyle knew nothing of this.
It is important for us to understand what “Ex Parte” is. Black’s Law Dictionary is regarded as the go-to for legal definitions. Lawyers around the country use this dictionary to quote from in their cases. They define “ex parte” as follows:
“On one side only; by or for one party; done for, in behalf of, on the
application of, one party only.”
One source says:
“Ex parte orders are only allowed in certain defined circumstances because they can be unfair and violate the due process requirement of the United States Constitution. ... Most often, ex parte orders are done in cases of domestic violence or child abuse and generally in an emergency situation.”
At the parenting plan hearing, she showed up with a last minute lawyer that knew nothing about the case, but he monopolized the whole hearing. It was Kyle’s petition, yet the commissioner gave the floor to the opposing attorney and disregarded Kyle’s right to plead his case.
Please keep in mind, at this time, Douangchay already had a restraining order on Kyle. By having that, why would there be a need for more? There’s only one reason to place another, and that is what accompanies it, an audience, without opposition, with a judge or Commissioner. A petition for an immediate restraining order eliminates the accused from defending themselves. This is exactly what Douangchay wanted and needed to rid herself of Kyle.
October 3, 2016, Douangchay went back to the restraining order and tried to modify it, she wanted to add their daughter, using an ex parte hearing.
October 5, 2016, again, Douangchay goes to Kyle’s residence and tries to have him arrested. Snohomish County Deputy Sheriff asks her to leave.
October 10, 2017 Douangchay doesn’t show for this hearing. She calls last minute to tell the court clerk. She must have known that her appearance at Kyle’s residence for the second time, had been documented and noted.
Two months went by and things were quiet, but then January 2017 happened.
January 17, 2017 Douangchay, in the parenting plan, filed another ex parte action.
January 26, 2017 Ex Parte action again.
February 15, 2017 yep, one more ex parte action
So, in all these actions, Douangchay had private audience with the following Commissioners:
1) Commissioner Susan Gaer
2) Commissioner Lester Stewart
3) Commissioner Tracy Waggoner
4) Commissioner pro Tem x2, (pro Tem= pro tem
1) adj. short for the Latin "pro tempore", temporarily or for the time being. In law, judge pro tem normally refers to a judge who is sitting temporarily for another judge or to an attorney who has been appointed to serve as a judge as a substitute for a regular judge.
The above ex parte actions accomplished a lot for Douangchay, private audiences with these judicial officials gave her what she loved most, playing victim. But what would occur next is beyond belief.
On May 3, 2017, Douangchay took her antics to a level that puts everything into perspective and explains how demented this woman truly is. She didn’t follow the parenting plan instruction, that day, nor any other day for that matter. She didn’t pick up their daughter as directed by the parenting plan. After both, her and her multi-felon brother attacked and threatened Kyle, through text messages, she called Lynnwood police. Lynnwood police called Kyle and Kyle explained. Lynnwood police were satisfied with Kyle and asked him to give a time and place for Douangchay to pick up their daughter. Kyle did so, 8:00 pm at a public parking lot in Des Moines. Douangchay drove, alone, from Everett all the way to Des Moines, an hour or more. Remember the sister/nanny? She lived five miles away from Kyle, in Kent. Why didn’t Douangchay, if she needed multiple restraining orders for her fear of Kyle, tell Kyle to drop off their daughter with the sister/nanny and she’d pick her up from her? Or, ask the sister/nanny to accompany her to the location? No, Douangchay chose not to do that because she was pissed and wanted any reason to have Kyle arrested. Her intent was clear. Kyle knew not to be alone in this. She tried to have him arrested at his own residence. His girlfriend accompanied him. She drove Kyle and his daughter to the agreed upon location. Douangchay was there and coming toward them, she was pissed. She was flailing her arms and screaming. Kyle’s girlfriend drove away leaving Douangchay standing there. She was enraged. Douangchay called 911, telling the 911 operator that she’s in Auburn. She is so angry, she doesn’t even know where she is. Her demeanor is casual. She starts by saying, “I need assistance.” She proceeded to tattle on Kyle for not giving their daughter to her. After telling the operator a few lies, like she and Kyle are not suppose to communicate and Kyle didn’t follow the parenting plan, the operator, asks her, 4 minutes into the call if Kyle threatened her. The operator told her to stay put and an officer would be there shortly and the call was ended. Officer Chad Stillwagon of the Des Moines police department showed up. Douangchay’s demeanor changed drastically, according to the police report. She had her audience right in front of her and this time she’d get what she wanted. She turned into the victim, a performance that deserved an Oscar. Stillwagon, in his report, used the infamous words, used by all police, in these situations, “she was visibly upset”. This must be taught in their 8 hour workshop of how to write a police report when a woman says she was abused. The “victim” emerged in spades, telling the police she was threatened. Kyle called her filthy names and threatened to kill her, she told Stillwagon. She then added a ludicrous comment when asked to do a recorded statement. She told Stillwagon that she didn’t speak English well. This was untrue. She testified later to being in the U.S. for over 25 years, reading, writing and speaking English fluently. These actions, done by Douangchay, spawned 2 felony charges against Kyle, thanks to the complete abuse of power in King County District Court. The first was filed on July 10, 2017, 314 days after initial arrest, in Snohomish County Superior Court. The tracking device case was turned from a misdemeanor to a felony. Then this Des Moines situation was filed, on July 14, 2017, 72 days after the incident, in King County Superior Court, as a felony.
On May 15, 2017, Douangchay filed yet another Immediate Restraining Order, Ex parte, against Kyle, in Snohomish County and this time she accomplished putting their daughter on it. She took this, as if it were true, and had yet another audience with a commissioner. It was Commissioner Susan Gaer, yet again. Through this, she was directed to free counsel with Snohomish County Legal Services, although it is not known as to where the directing originated. The lawyer that took this case was Helena Maria Koltonowska, aka “Helenka”, a bulldog of a lawyer. Hearings were done in June, but all the while Koltonowaska had other plans. She asked for this case to be dismissed and to seek relief in the parenting plan, Commissioner Lester Stewart granted this. Kyle’s lawyer, Andrew May charged an outrageous $4500 and then blamed the court for this, yet he didn’t fight it. He didn’t object, even though, acting as a defense attorney, he should have done exactly that. This did prove, beyond any doubt, that Douangchay’s motives were clear. She wanted the parenting plan and she even said so in the petition she filed.
Koltonowska gathered a few people and had them write declarations for Douangchay and filed contempt in the parenting plan case. These “witnesses” consisted of Khamkheuane Suannoy, Douangchay’s brother. His felony criminal record goes back years. Another felon, “Samantha” Phab, and Douangchay’s boy toy lover, Tristan James Eames. At the Circus they call a family law trial, the felon brother was locked up, again. Samantha lied through her teeth and the lover was no where to be seen. These are the people, that the court decided, would determine the outcome of a father’s ability to see his child. The contempt was filed on July 7, 2017. It is not a coincidence that the felony charges happened days after. Koltonowska had strong ties in the prosecutors offices, both in King and Snohomish Counties. She worked in both places.
A status conference was held on July 21, which Koltonowska used to her advantage. Directly after the conference, the cunning attorney went directly into another ex parte hearing and filed yet another Immediate Restraining order. Commissioner Lee Tinney reviewed the contempt filings and based her decision on them. The restraining order was granted. This decision would be carried over into the contempt. Gaer would not contradict Tinney. So Tinney made the decisions that destroyed a man’s life so he would not be allowed to see his child without supervision by a professional supervisory agency. Makes you wonder exactly how many fathers have been eliminated from their children’s lives in this manner.
Literally, what happens is one commissioner rules on a situation and this ruling will not be contradicted by the next commissioner, so Tinney set the tone for future rulings and she did so based on accusations made by Douangchay and her co-conspirators. Both Tinney and Gaer made bad decisions by allowing declarations by felons, and they did this behind closed doors that shut out the accused, Kyle. Ex parte was used a few more times after this, also. Kyle tried to file contempt against Douangchay, but a little rule in Snohomish County states her lawyer cannot be served. It has to be served directly on her. This rule doesn’t exist elsewhere.
Kyle was facing felony charges in two counties now. He knew that he would never get a fair trial in Snohomish County. All the judges and commissioners were convinced he was a domestic violence batterer and would throw the book at him. So, he plead the case. He would fight all this in King County and that’s exactly what happened.
The trial began on February 27, 2018. Kyle would face off with King County Superior Court prosecutor. Douangchay would be made to testify. She did just that. For three hours Douangchay was asked question after question about Kyle abusing her. The jury sat listening intently. On March 1, 2018, the jury returned after only 20 minutes and handed down their decision. NOT GUILTY! Douangchay’s testimony sealed this case. It was apparent, after only 30 minutes, that Douangchay was lying about the whole incident. Her testimony acquitted Kyle, but it didn’t stop her and her Snohomish County Legal Services goons from completely lying on the parenting plan documents they filed. Douangchay’s testimony and declarations went into overdrive. She stuck to her lies. He testimony changed drastically from county to county. The perjury that went on in Snohomish County was absolutely obvious, yet the four lawyers and Judge Joseph Wilson acted as if they knew nothing of this. The following is an exert from the results of a complaint filed against Wilson. His behavior was the same in Kyle’s case. He disrespected Kyle at every turn. He spoke down to Kyle and his behavior can only be described as juvenile. Joseph Wilson is a detriment to the judicial system.
“ Investigation revealed that defendant (Judge Joseph Wilson) was at all times during the hearing respectful and deferential towards the court. Respondent, after expressing his view that the resolution was too lenient, addressed the defendant in a confrontational and angry tone. He repeatedly called the defendant “an animal,” and at one point near the conclusion of the hearing, refused to let the defendant speak, telling him, “You don’t have the integrity to talk to me.”
C. The Commission served Respondent with a Statement ofAllegations on January 23, 2018, alleging his actions during the July 10,2017 hearing violated Canon 1 (Rules 1.1 and 1.2) and Canon 2 (Rules 2.2, 2.3(A) and (B), 2.6(A) and 2.8) of the Code of Judicial Conduct.
D. Respondent answered the Statement of Allegations on February 22, 2018. In his answer. Respondent acknowledged: “I did not treat [the defendant] with respect and I addressed him in a maimer I should not have. These statements negatively impact the public’s perception of the court and for that I am sorry.” Respondent explained he was “profoundly unhappy with the resolution of this case prior to taking the bench,” adding that he nonetheless recognizes his “personal opinion of what a proper resolution should be should not interfere with [his] duty to be impartial and fair.”
And in another case, Wilson’s behavior toward a defendant resulted in these comments being made:
“The HeraldNet has more details of Wilson’s statements to the defendant. They include:
• After the defendant tested positive for drugs and missed his treatment, he appeared for a February 2017 hearing. The defendant acknowledged he had been drinking lately and said he needed anger management. Wilson used the F-word at least twice. “I think you’re a [expletive] addict, and maybe you need treatment,” Wilson said. “I don’t think it’s got nothing to do with anger management. You think I’ll give you anger management and that’s going to get you clean and sober? … What the hell are you talking about?”
—Judge Joe Wilson
Joseph Wilson should have stepped away from Kyle’s case and Kyle should have been given time to research this judge. The court record showed a different judge was scheduled, but Wilson was given this case the morning the kangaroo trial began. Wilson was combative throughout. Kyle filed proof of Douangchay’s past prior to the kangaroo court trial, yet it didn’t matter. Despite knowing that Douangchay gave a false name in the 1998 King County case, Wilson acted as if that was ok. Wilson believed the witnesses, despite their obvious perjured testimony.
Kyle lost all contact with his child. Douangchay was named custodial parent. Their child lost her father and half of her family because of Douangchay’s lies and Snohomish County Court and Snohomish County Legal Services inability to look for truth. It’s been over two years since Kyle has seen his child.
Some would say this is an isolated case, but the truth of the matter, is that parents face these
oppositions in the family courts everyday. Men and women lose contact with their children and usually it is due to the other parent’s inability to co-parent and their desire to gain financially, courtrooms. False allegations of domestic violence equals restraining orders, child custody and support, free legal services, homes, vehicles and bank accounts.
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verdigrisprowl · 5 years
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Donuts and Viruses
Prowl visits Tarantulas, partially to socialize and partially to see about moving some projects forward. The project they end up discussing is a defensive virus, meant to protect potential victims from being assaulted by mnemosurgeons. By the end, Prowl promises to get Tarantulas the brain modules of some deceased mnemosurgeons to use for research.
Prowl and Tarantulas also agree to set up space bridge drop boxes in their homes to send each other stuff.
Tarantulas
Visits from Prowl had always been a treat for Tarantulas, but these days they were particularly so. For one, visits happened far more frequently than they had millennia ago, and more importantly, this time the visit had also been preceded by a literal treat. He suspected the donuts were from Prowl himself, but he wasn’t totally sure, so…
“That was you, was it not?” Arms wrapped around arms wrapped around arms, all in greeting. “The donuts, that is. If it was, you have an incredibly accurate memory, but unfortunately so, hyeh.”
Prowl
That was. So many arms. He only had two to offer in return, but offer them he did. "They were me, yes. Er—accurate?"
He was pleased that Tarantulas had found them (and, Prowl hoped, consumed them). He hadn't wanted to interrupt Tarantulas's work with them, but, well—Prowl worried, from time to time, about whether he was remembering to refuel himself properly. His sleep schedule was erratic enough, Prowl doubted his other self-maintenance habits were much better.
Tarantulas
Thank goodness. Now Tarantulas didn't have to worry about delayed-onset poisoning via donut intruder anymore.
"Accurate - well, accurately positioned, according to where the cabinet was the day before." A bit of snickering, and Tarantulas let Prowl go. "The donuts didn't fall terribly far though, they were only slightly jostled. It didn't affect the taste, anyhow." A brief smooch of mandibles.
Prowl
"Ah. Yes." Right, most people didn't just... casually memorize the positions of everything they saw.
Prowl held on a moment longer. To even out the disparity in hug quantity due to his lower number of hugging limbs.
Okay. Okay, letting g—smooch—letting go. "I would have put them on the counter on the other side of the room, but I was worried there might be an experiment running on it." Tarantulas had eaten them, though. Good. "... Perhaps if you set up a, hm. Mailbox? That I could deposit things in?"
Tarantulas
No mech had the space to memorize things like that - at least, things they didn't consider worth keeping data on. Prowl, as per usual, was extraordinary.
Ah, how Tarantulas loved when Prowl hung on like that... "You were rightfully concerned. A mailbox, though...?" Tarantulas looked around, his visor squinted thoughtfully. "I'm sure there's somewhere I could set one up. But you'd have to arrange one of your own as well, or check mine in turn; I can't have you sending me things without proper reciprocation, now can I?"
Please say yes - because then it'd mean Tarantulas could send Prowl gifts, right
Prowl
Prowl considered that. "... I'll set up a drop box on the balcony." That wasn't IN the apartment, but it was within Prowl's property. "That could be very useful, actually." Beyond the obvious gift exchange functions.
Tarantulas
Score! Now Tarantulas had to think up a proper return gift, hm...
"Actually? Howso? For other mechs as well, you mean?" Tarantulas hoped not - it was much more disappointing to think of it as a general mailbox instead of a romanticized vessel of Tarantulas's affections.
Prowl
"No, in terms of shuttling supplies and projects back and forth. Dataslugs and devices and whatnot. Everyone else can just mail me things like normal." Or chuck them at his balcony door, if they happened to be a neighbor from a block away with a half dozen violent deployers.
Tarantulas
Oh, good! For presents and science, then. Romanticized vessel still intact.
"Ah, I see - far less lossy than comms, especially. I can't believe I'd never thought of that before." Tarantulas rocked on his pedes, fighting the urge to start roaming his labs for some reason. That'd be a little rude with company over. "Do let me know exactly where its parameters are once it's established. And - if there's a project that'd require greater volume than the balcony permits, I could connect the mailbox to a mutual subspace instead? That'd be simple enough
Prowl
"And far less hackable. ... Although more steal-able. But we can work on those details later. At the moment, I don't think we're working on anything incredibly sensitive that you'd need to drop off rather than having me come here to get it."
Prowl considered the possibility. "... We can discuss that once we have such a project."
Tarantulas
"I'd say our projects do lean more toward the tangible over the digital, so theft would be more of a problem." A fluttery tap-tap of mandibles. "That aside - yes, of course. It's a standing offer, whenever."
What projects was Tarantulas working on for Prowl at the moment? He'd spent so long researching Prowl's moral compass that he'd nearly forgotten everything else. There had to be something he was forgetting...
Prowl
"Some are digital. There's the virus, for instance." Prowl took the slightest step back, to a moderately more professional distance. "How is the virus going, anyway?"
The mnemosurgery virus wasn't the only reason Prowl had come over—Tarantulas's company was, of course, a major draw—but he'd come with it on his to-do list. He didn't think they'd discussed it since—since their whole... blowout. But that was now in the past, and prowl hoped very much to keep it there. It was time to get back to work.
Tarantulas
Professional distance? Prowl of all mechs knew that when it came to matters of science, professional distance meant basically squat. Prowl's slight step back was, of course, mirrored by a two-toed step forward.
"Virus? What do you -"
Oh. That virus. The anti-mnemosurgical malware Prowl had requested, a key project that had managed to completely slip Tarantulas's mind for months now. Yes, that virus. There wasn't any excuse for forgetting this one, moral compass research or no.
"Virus! Yes, of course." Alright, refocus your visor, you've been staring blankly at Prowl for too long. "It's - well, technically it's not going anywhere, since I haven't installed it in a host yet, hyeh." Fidget fidget. Where had he been when he'd left off? Time to hastily skim his abandoned files for some clues, and meanwhile think of a way to stall the ongoing conversation.
"Oh! First the donuts, though - shame on me. You graced me with such sweetness and I haven't uttered a single 'thank you' yet." Tarantulas put on his most apologetic expression as he reached out to Prowl in one swift movement again. Adios, professional distance. "They truly were delectable. Did you make them yourself, perchance?"
Prowl
"You know what I mean. Progress on making the virus." He paused. "Unless you're saying you're at the point where it can be installed in someone?"
Tarantulas was so inclined to jump from topic to topic that, for the moment, Prowl didn't realize he was specifically trying to dodge one. (Okay, they were touching again. Prowl was fine with that.) "Hah! No. Someone gave me a box. I don't even know where they were from. They were good?" "Delectable" was high praise for cheap goods.
Tarantulas
Was Tarantulas at the point of installation? No, he didn't think he'd gotten that far. Where was he, really...
"Hyeh, well it's really the sentiment that matters, not the exact origin of the goods. I'll admit I have a soft spot for donuts with filling especially, and the jelly-filled one -" Tarantulas pinched his fingers at his lips and dramatically outward in a mwah gesture of deliciousness that few could pull off without shame.
That arm fell in distraction as Tarantulas continued to skim the files. No, he really hadn't achieved much - gotten hung up on an intellectual snag and left it for his future self to handle. What was he supposed to do now? Prowl expected progress, and what Tarantulas had to offer him was meager at best, given how much time had elapsed.
Mmmmmaybe he could just... own up to it? That's what the whole not-lying-to-each-other deal had been about, right - transparency and honesty? Hopefully Prowl wouldn't be too disappointed with what he'd find.
"I..." Erk. This was already harder than he'd thought. "I, ah, back to the malware, though. Unfortunately it's... nnnnnowhere near comprehensive enough for installation. As a matter of fact, it's hardly progressed past the point of my last update, mostly because... I may have..." Squirm squirm. "Forgotten about it. R-regrettably."
Prowl
... And now, Prowl was focusing on Tarantulas's mouth. He was trying to figure out how to get a jelly-filled donut in there. "Wouldn't... How do you not make a mess when you eat them?" Unless he DID make a mess. Which wouldn't surprise Prowl.
He'd forgotten it. Prowl stared at Tarantulas a moment. He'd FORGOTTEN it. And then huffed in amused exasperation. Of course he'd forgotten about it. Prowl hadn't mentioned it in months—including a couple of months during which Prowl wasn't sure he'd ever even want to speak to Tarantulas again. The virus couldn't have been high on his list of priorities.
"It hasn't been immediately pressing," Prowl said. "Consider it back on the table, though. I WOULD like to receive the completed project." Preferably before he got too comfortable keeping his hands clean to do what needed to be done with Chromedome.
"Where did you leave off, then?"
Tarantulas
“I could give a demonstration sometime.” Tarantulas waved dismissively. “It’s really not that difficult.”
A tense moment passed as he waited for Prowl’s reaction – then a sigh of relief. Thank goodness it was exasperation and not pointed disappointment. Tarantulas was used to dealing with exasperation on a daily basis, that was nothing new.
“Duly noted, hyeh. The last section I recall completing…” His hands found their way to Prowl’s waist, never quite settling down. “I’m certain I’ve finished the coding required to activate the program upon mnemosurgical invasion, but that was simple enough. At least part of phase one is complete as well – preventing immediate access to your brain module, of course – but phase two I’m not as clear on. That’s – ah, the exact method by which the malware would disable their future abilities.”
Prowl
Did Tarantulas actually know how distracting hands fluttering everywhere were? He put his hands on top of Tarantulas's to trap them on his waist. Distraction managed. "Brain modules in general. Not just MY brain module." (He said, as though he was still fooling anyone that this virus wasn't first and foremost meant for his own protection.)
"That's massive progress. That alone is a stellar defensive tool." They could stop there and call it a success. ... Not that they were going to, but. They COULD. "Where are you having trouble with the method?"
Tarantulas
Judging by the tapping claws and shifting frame, the distraction wasn't entirely managed, but probably as best as it could be for now. Tarantulas was more than happy to keep his hands on Prowl's waist, at any rate.
"Ah yes, that's what I meant." Totally not specifically Prowl - because Tarantulas totally hadn't pieced together that Prowl had suffered mnemosurgical trauma and totally wasn't also hiding the fact that he knew. "But I did say part of phase one; it's not entirely ironclad. Put into action, it would prevent mnemosurgical alteration, but one would still be able to read another's mind, so to speak. So, yes - there's that to add, and then the actual virus module itself. Which..."
Tap-t-tap went his mandibles, rippling thoughtfully. "Disabling a surgeon's ability to operate requires two facets, in turn. Erasing current ability, and stymying future reacquisition. When I say I'm not clear on the method of disabling, it's - how do we attack the knowledge? Do I erase memories of having learnt mnemosurgery in the first place? That may help in the moment, but wouldn't one be able to discover what'd occurred, and maybe relearn such a thing? Reconnect with old contacts, actively seek to fill in holes of missing information? Or is there possibly a physical flaw in the process, some circuit to be permanently disrupted, as if chopping off whole servos to void their needles? Because if there is, I haven't found such a flaw, and it's so -"
Tarantulas would go on spilling the contents of his brain module as long as Prowl let him, words tripping over his mandibles in their haste to be said. Although, fidgeting and agitation would become a bit of a problem pretty soon.
Prowl
"Those are different functions? Alteration and reading? I suppose that's... not illogical." More than that, it sounded familiar. Like Prowl had been told so before; but attempting to recollect it was hard, the memory fuzzy and distant, and he couldn't quite grasp it. Had Chromedome tampered with that memory, too? Damaged Prowl's memory of how mnemosurgery worked during his invasion? Or did Prowl only suspect him because he happened to be thinking about the attack?
If what Prowl thought he knew about mnemosurgery had been tampered with, did that mean Chromedome might have inserted fake information? Prowl should look up mnemosurgery on his own, see whether the literature out there agreed with what he thought he knew...
Without noticing it, his grip tightened on Tarantulas's hands.
He listened to Tarantulas's questions and speculations until he was fairly certain that he'd gotten a sense for the problem he was grappling with, and decided he ought to cut in and attempt to help rather than wait for Tarantulas to run out of words.
"Maybe not a physical flaw in the circuitry, but—what about brain function? Their processors have to be doing something specific when they're doing mnemosurgery, I don't know what. Is there something in there that can be damaged, or made to malfunction, or just made incompatible with other brains, or...?"
Tarantulas
Tarantulas noticed Prowl’s tightened grip – had he done something wrong? Fidgeted too much? He’d quiet his hands as best he could for now, still letting his thumbs rub vertical lines on each side of Prowl’s waist.
“Yes, it’s akin to the difference between being able to reach through an open window, or only looking through a closed one, or simply looking at a wall. But -” Moving on. “The thing about mnemosurgery is that it’s really just another form of data-focused interface.” Like hardlining with needles - but Tarantulas figured that phrasing wouldn’t go over well. “As far as I can discern, there aren’t any specific brain patterns or centers that are unique to mnemosurgical activity, only ones that are key, by which I mean of course the robocampus. If I could simply delete the entirety of their robocampus, or - or maybe corrupt the needle compatibility software, I don't know – those would be effective, but I doubt they're viable options.”
Prowl
Prowl could feel his optics glazing over as Tarantulas started in on a metaphor— Oh, it was only a sentence long. That was fine.
"And... how bad would deleting their robocampus be? Pretty bad, right?" Prowl didn't entirely remember what the robocampus did, but he knew the word, so it had to be important. "I don't want to do permanently debilitating brain damage, here. Outside of the effect on their mnemosurgery abilities, I want to inconvenience them, not—not do damage that will leave them permanently hospitalized, or the like."
Corrupting software? Prowl frowned hard as he thought that over. "... Wouldn't they be able to just redownload the correct software?"
Tarantulas
“It depends on what you qualify as an inconvenience,” Tarantulas chuckled. “Inability to convert short-term memory into long-term? Impaired spatial perception and navigation skills? Among other things – I haven’t tried wiping a robocampus before, so I don’t know specifics.” He’d definitely wiped other module sectors though, with amusing results.
A defeated sigh. “Yes, that’s technically true... Unless somehow I were able to convince their system to permanently accept the corrupted software. That seems too… unreliable a solution. Someone’s bound to find a way around mere software glitches sooner or later – that is, if they don’t skip the whole debacle and install all-new hardware instead.”
Leaning down to bunt his helm against Prowl’s, Tarantulas grumbled something unintelligible. “I think - I think - the solution might be found in incompatibility. From what I’ve researched - what scraps I’ve gathered - it seems there’s something different about the file properties. It’s far-fetched, but it’s possible that mnemosurgery flirts with an entirely novel file system. I just don’t know if it does, or how.” Grumble grumble.
Prowl
"... I think the inability to store new memories is a bit farther than we want to go." This was, after all, not about revenge, but about preventing future incidents. Revenge was only an incidental second bonus and certainly not to be pursued to excess.
Prowl nodded; expert in viruses he was not, but it sounded unreliable to him, too. He bunted Tarantulas back, optics dimming as he listened. "What's different about the file properties? Which file properties?"
Tarantulas
“I thought as much, hyeh.” Revenge would certainly have been amenable to Tarantulas, given the situation that led to all this – but no.
He gave Prowl a strangely frustrated nuzzle. “I only know this information second-hand. I haven’t been able to get my claws on any primary reports or data or anything for me to actually dig into. There’s no chance you could be of any help? Even if it were just snagging a Primus-forsaken brain module for me, I’d be pleased.” A snort, then a thoughtful pause. “…I’d be thrilled, as a matter of fact. A mnemosurgeon’s robocampus alone would speak volumes more than any reports ever could.”
Prowl
That was the hard part, wasn't it? They were supposed to figure out how to make a virus that could take out a mnemosurgeon without the benefit of a mnemosurgeon to test it on. They could get so far simply by knowing the theory behind how they worked and general truths about how ALL brain modules worked, but to get something specific, something targeted... Well, up until now Tarantulas hadn't specifically asked for a mnemosurgeon's help, so Prowl had hoped they might not need it. They might be stuck now.
Except. Tarantulas hadn't asked for a mnemosurgeon. He'd asked for a mnemosurgeon's brain module.
Could Prowl supply that?
"... Does it need to be alive?"
Tarantulas
Tarantulas pulled back slightly, squinting into Prowl’s optics. Was this a trick question? “No, no of course not. I’ll be able to glean plenty from it so long as the robocampus is fairly intact. Did you think I would want a live sample? Goodness no, I’m much more comfortable with posthumous operation than having to deal with a living mech.” A noise of displeasure to go along with that half-truth. “But – you could acquire a brain module, truly?”
Prowl
(Tarantulas was pretty from this angle. Prowl could just lean in and...)
(Stay focused.)
"Data in brain modules decay and artifact quickly after death, I don't know if you needed a live sample to get whatever data you were looking for." Mnemosurgeons themselves preferred live subjects. Prowl didn't know how he knew that. Chromedome again, probably. The thought of it made him very faintly sick. "I'm not certain I can; but I know several places I could go looking."
Tarantulas
Tarantulas wouldn’t have minded if Prowl had kissed him - he never minded - but the moment passed. Instead, Tarantulas shrugged dismissively. “The decay is systematic and capable of being unraveled under the correct circumstances. I don’t require 100% recovery in any case.” If his vague hypotheses were correct, mere shreds of data could tell him everything he needed to know. “Curiosity compels me though – where would you even look? I’d adore anything and everything you can scrounge up.”
Prowl
"Classified. Of course." Sorry, Tarantulas. But he wasn't about to talk about the hidden stockpiles of resources left over from the New Institute—resources that, Prowl hoped, included the bodies of the Autobots who'd worked there. They'd kept stranger things. And the possibilities got more far-fetched and more secret from there. "Is there anything else you want me to try to scrounge up?"
Tarantulas
Would a little pathetic whine get Tarantulas any more information?
“Specifically, aside from the robocampus…?” A moment of thought. “I couldn’t care less about any actual experiments, but the background research and formative papers in the field – those, those I could use.”
Prowl
No, but it would get him a kiss. "I can certainly manage that."
Tarantulas
Yes, please. And it was only fair that Tarantulas returned the affection - once, then twice, three times. "But of course you can. There really isn't anything you can't do, after all. ...I ought to have just asked originally, if I'd had any sense, but..."
A leaned-forward nuzzle. "Is this the reason you came today, then? To tend to our poor, neglected project?"
Prowl
There really isn't anything you can't do. That was something Prowl ought to be saying to Tarantulas, not the other way around. Sure, Prowl could do anything—as long as he had an army of agents or a scientist ten times smarter than he'd ever be to do the hard work for him.
"It was an item on the to-do list," Prowl said. "But I would have come without it."
Tarantulas
Clearly each of them depended on the other to fully realize their potential, then, because Tarantulas certainly thought he was nothing without Prowl.
A pleased churr. "I'm flattered. Unless you mean to say there are more business items on the to-do list...?"
Prowl
"There are always more business items on the to-do list. Are you interested in doing any more right now, though?"
Tarantulas
Tarantulas hummed and pulled Prowl in even closer. "At the moment? Not exactly. I don't have anything planned, but I'd fancy a bit of quality time, if you don't mind?"
Prowl
He gladly let Tarantulas tug him in. "Ah, yes. That is, as it so happens, the last item on my to-do list." He offered Tarantulas a slight smirk. "Let's skip right to it, then."
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flairmagazineblog · 3 years
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Seven Fortunes; Coffee Beyond Tradition
Having recently launched their newest branch in Waterway, New Cairo, Seven Fortunes is arguably among the finest coffee brands you will come across in Egypt right now. We talked to Egyptian founder, Karim Hassan, who never offers a coffee to someone without drinking it with him. With that pace, he ends up drinking about ten cups a day, which is something we wouldn’t recommend but you get the picture of the passion and heart behind this exceptional brand.
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“What amazes me everyday is how coffee brings people together. It’s always a sensory experience that you can share with family and friends.”
How did your coffee brand come about at the beginning?
Surprisingly it was a big mistake. To give you a quick backstory, I grew up in the Middle East and then went to university in Toronto. At the time, I had no clue about coffee and neither did I drink it, but I was working at Second Cup for a short period inside the school library. I realized all my friends were drinking their coffee at Tim Hortons, which was just around the corner. For some reason, I got bothered that they were drinking coffee elsewhere and I just had this sense of responsibility to start thinking about ways to increase traffic at the cafe. My takeaway was that we didn’t provide their coffee of preference, and I decided to sneakily use Tim Hortons’ beans in Second Cup machines. When I secretly told them, they started coming to the cafe and enjoying the coffee. This is how I began to develop a sensory experience in knowing the different tastes provided by different types of coffee from a commercial standpoint. As I traveled around the world, I actually began drinking coffee regularly and developed a habit for it. After that, I worked at a company in Toronto called Fidelity and I was constantly complaining about how bad the coffee was at the office. One day, the facilities manager came up to me and said, “You’re the guy who’s always complaining about the coffee in his emails to upper management?” He said there’s a company that’s coming to do a tasting, so come, try their coffee and tell us which type is best suited for the building. From that moment on, I was inspired to create something of my own but I kept that idea parked.
Fast forward a few years, I returned to Dubai and continued my career in finance with another major asset management firm. For some reason, I didn’t have access to any good coffee around me, so I took the risk of starting a project on the side of my fulltime job. I fitted a small roastery in Dubai’s industrial area. I sourced a few bags of the finest green coffee beans. Slowly, I started supplying a few cafes in the neighbourhood. Business started picking up from one cafe to the next, and eventually, I decided to quit my job because it was becoming very overwhelming for me to balance both. A couple of years later, Seven Fortunes is currently supplying to hotel chains, like the Renaissance, the W, the JW Marriott and the Ritz Carlton. I found myself up against competition like Illy and Lavazza, which are huge multinational chains; we had carved a reason for boutique hotels to work with smaller companies with a strong passion to deliver quality products.
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When did you decide to bring your business to Egypt?
 My parents were consistently encouraging me to expand into Egypt. At first glance, I wasn’t convinced but before jumping into any judgments, I had to study the market better. After a few months of research I must say, my love for Egyptians and its culture drove my passion to influence and educate. 
100 million people are drinking average to poor coffee! Change must happen, and this instantly became my personal mission. I decided in late 2018 that I was going to enter the coffee industry in Egypt. I’m originally Egyptian and I simply loved the idea of sharing my coffee passion here.
From where do you source your beans?
I get my beans mainly from coffee-growing regions around the world. I’ve developed very close relationships with farmers that grow the crop in agricultural countries like Brazil, Colombia, Guatemala and Costa Rica. I buy beans specifically grown for Seven Fortunes. At the beginning, you start buying the coffee from traders but once you start building relationships with individual farmers, you get the advantage of sourcing the cream of the crop.
While anyone on the street can buy good coffee, a very limited quantity of people actually get their hands on the highest quality coffee. And there’s a reason for this – no matter how many acres a farmer has, he usually puts aside the cream of the crop for roasters like Seven Fortunes, whom he knows will treat the product well and transfer his name onto the market. We like to be transparent in how we do business, for instance you will find the source of each coffee on my coffee bags, and every farmer gets his name printed on our bags. This is the kind of relationship we like to build with them, and of course, it took time – around four to five years to build.
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Why call it Seven Fortunes?
 Interesting that you ask! It took me nine months to develop the name and the branding. I arrived at the name three different ways. First, I chose the number seven for being associated with a lucky connotation in our Arabian culture. It’s relatable because, for example, in Egypt we have one of the seven wonders of the world which is the Pyramids. The brand was also founded in Dubai, which is one of the seven emirates of the UAE. It’s meaningful to me, so wherever I am in the world, I can relate to the number and I feel like it’s a point of engagement with consumers. As for the word fortunes, as far back as I can remember, my aunties would tell each other their fortunes using coffee cups. The term Seven Fortunes also relates back to a mystical story in the history of coffee – the story of the Seven Seeds.
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We love that you made your brand accessible for both expert coffee connoisseurs and absolute beginners. How do you balance both audiences?
Honestly, I encourage people to drink coffee the way they like to drink it. Do it your way. If you’re a person who enjoys a classic Cappuccino, then go for it and Seven Fortunes will make sure you have the best quality coffee in your Cappuccino. If you like Espresso or American-style coffee, we’ll make that for you. There’s no need for us to over-complicate it. As long as you have a great quality coffee, you can make it anyway you want and it will taste exceptional. Coffee is so rooted in our culture that we’ve been drinking it for years and Arabs kind of already know what they like. There are so many flavor profiles you can experience. Once you engage any of my team members with coffee-related questions, be prepared to take notes.
A simple sensory example we like to share is the different flavor profiles of coffee. Brazil is completely different from coffee from Ethiopia. Generally, Central American coffee tends to be nutty or chocolaty and African coffees tend to be fruity or floral. If I can educate you about the options, which is our purpose, I can guide you to find out your preference.
Our brand image is sophisticated but we’re also inviting to anyone who is interested to learn about coffee. I believe in always meeting the consumers where they’re at. I take it step-by-step – first, I provide the coffee that they know they like. Then, I introduce them to a few more flavor profiles. That’s when the experience begins.
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Tell us about the barista training you offer for those who would like to venture.
I am part of an internationally-recognized group of trainers, which is quite commonly known as Specialty Coffee Association (SCA). There are actually many pillars you can study in the coffee world. There’s a diploma system that you can earn within a year. You travel to the United States, the UK or Dubai to get the training, given by people like myself. This is what I wanted to bring to Egypt. Most people who tell you they are certified are probably certified in one or two courses but rarely will you find people who earned a full diploma.
There are five categories you can dig into. One of them is just learning about all the flavor profiles in the coffee world and being able to differentiate when a coffee is nutty, fruity or what taste it resembles – whether you can detect caramels, vanilla or fruits. Another category is all about brewing and preparing coffee manually. Then, there’s the barista category where you prepare coffee using espresso machines, and there’s green coffee, which is a whole different avenue about understanding and evaluating coffee directly from the farms. The last one is roasting.
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You’re definitely way more than just a roastery. Do you have any plans to expand your services even further in the future?
When I came to Egypt, I set up the business to supply cafes, restaurants and hotels – a field which brought me a lot of success in the Middle East. However, I failed very quickly. Most of the hotels and business owners expressed no interest in providing higher quality coffee at their venues. They wanted to continue using commercial quality coffee and satisfy the already existing demand instead of taking a leap of faith in educating consumers about better options; although there is a very small price difference between commercial and specialty coffee. In the past year, I shifted my strategy in order to achieve success in my wholesale coffee business.  I’ve decided to open coffee shops to encourage other businesses to see the quality that really works. I’m creating this proof of concept to encourage a shift to specialty coffee over commercial coffee in the Egyptian market. I’m here to make an influence. My vision is to create supply rather than cater to a demand. We also want to empower more consumers to make the coffee they love at home, and in general, drink better coffee.
Seven Fortunes; Coffee Beyond Tradition was originally published on FLAIR MAGAZINE
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customessaypaper213 · 4 years
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How To Write A Research Paper In One Day
How To Write A Research Paper In One Day Writing 6 pages will take about 1.3 hours for the typical writer typing on a keyboard and a pair of.5 hours for handwriting. However, if the content wants to include in-depth analysis, hyperlinks, citations, or graphics corresponding to for a blog article or highschool essay, the size can develop to 10 hours. As long as you've got obtained some semblance of an overview and know remotely about what you're writing, it should not take very lengthy. I banged out a 20 web page research paper in a single evening in school. It's nowhere near one of the simplest ways to write a paper, but is feasible if you have already got all of the research accomplished. When I was writing my second novel I would do about 1500 words in an hour to and hour and a half. three,000 word essay would be fairly straightforward for a complete day. When vital analysis needs to be carried out it will get method tougher to just pump out pages without it being complete garbage. I can't rush research as much as I can rush an opinion or one thing. That being stated I did write a 25 page research paper of types inside 3 days and I was fairly content material about it. I used to show in a lot of final minute papers; it isn't a nasty skill to have actually. No need to mull over a paper for months when you may get a high quality one accomplished in a day. This way, you will have to write several two- or three-web page papers instead of a single lengthy one. I was taught essays ought to be 7 paragraphs long, not 5. My teacher mentioned 3 central paragraphs by no means gives sufficient detail to the subject, so we should always write 5. It makes sense to me and that is how I’ve at all times carried out it. I assume five paragraphs is a good quantity to shoot for when writing, nevertheless it isn’t a hard-quick rule you need to hit every time. Each essay is totally different and require roughly paragraphs depending on the data you should present within the writing. I suppose the five paragraphs for an essay is extra of a rule-of-thumb quantity that is straightforward to teach students when they are first studying to put in writing. It's necessary to limit the time you spend on this, as it's simple to get distracted when Google presents you with copious amounts of irrelevant data. But you'll find your essay easier to write down should you're armed with lots of related data, so do not scrimp on it either. Writing 10 pages will take about 2.1 hours for the common author typing on a keyboard and 4.2 hours for handwriting. However, if the content material wants to include in-depth research, hyperlinks, citations, or graphics such as for a blog article or highschool essay, the length can grow to 16.7 hours. You can assume commercial writing and news reviews will have paragraphs roughly half as long as those you’d see in educational or essay writing. In this case, we’re taking a look at ten to twenty paragraphs per 1,000 words instead of five to 10. Whatever you’re discussing, you’ll uncover a number of ideas which you presumably deliberate before you started writing. To make it all grasp together nicely, you add a little bit of space when you transition from one area of dialogue to a different. As with any rule, there are exceptions, but broadly speaking, essay writing and academic writing calls for paragraphs in the word vary. Writing 7 pages will take about 1.5 hours for the common author typing on a keyboard and a couple of.9 hours for handwriting. However, if the content material wants to incorporate in-depth analysis, links, citations, or graphics similar to for a weblog article or highschool essay, the size can develop to 11.7 hours. An outline can serve you want a highway map for writing your research paper. In this fashion, you will have a good suggestion of what your paper goes to look like. Think about the main points that will assist your thesis – they will be your subheadings. Then you need to group your notes together and match all the data that fits together under every of your sub-headings. Create your first draft as quickly as attainable, and do not edit when you write. Remember that it is better to submit a mediocre paper in time than to submit nothing at all. Break the subject into three to five sections, each being something you think about fascinating to debate. If any data doesn’t help your thesis assertion, it doesn’t belong to your educational paper no matter how fascinating it is. First, you should read the assignment and understand the guidelines for your project. You should get a transparent idea of how lengthy your paper must be and what quotation fashion is most well-liked by your instructor. Then, you must schedule your paper and resolve what amount of time you can afford to commit to working on your educational paper even if it's the last minute. Check out episode three of our podcast, No More Beans, for even more great tips on writing essays in opposition to a deadline.
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la-vogue · 4 years
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Things to know before leasing a car in 2020-Informative
That'S where all the car dealership mystery happens is and where they play their games, as usually in the money factor. My first car kind of turned into a bit of a nightmare because I had bought my first car and it was a 2007 BMW and about two and a half years into ownership. 
The value had tanked and it needed about $ 3,500 in repairs, which is about half the value of the car. At that point, so I immediately said to myself: I don't really want to deal with this anymore. I just want to be able to take my car to a dealership and get it fixed, always and never have to pay a dollar for anything.
My first car lease deal
So the first lease deal I did was on a 2014 3-series and I got hosed on that for sure I definitely. I definitely did not get the best deal possible because I didn't know what I was doing at the time. 
It certainly wasn't bad buy by any standards, but it definitely wasn't the best and from there on out I'd said IRA, and I really like leasing, because I like the idea that nothing is about nothing with this car is my problem, but I wanted to make sure that I was never paying a single penny more than I had to for a leased car, and so I would say about three months later. I had realized that that 328 really wasn't what I was looking for. 
It wasn't really an enthusiast car. It was just a loaner car spec, really nothing special about it, and so I started researching and learning and searching for my next car, which was gonna, be an a4 series and M Sport and 4 Series. If you're looking for the best lease deals May 2020, this post has something cool that you might actually like and the maintenance is somebody else's problem leasing does make a lot of sense, especially if you can hit the perfect storm of circumstances. 
What to look for in a car while looking for lease deals
The first would be to look for a car, that's aged on the deal or a lot, something that they want to move. Typically, anything more than 60 to 90 days is something that a dealer's gonna want to get rid of. If you can compound that, with it being a demo or a former loaner car, that also usually can take a heavier discount and if you get really lucky to find something with damage reported on the car fan. Just because everybody knows you can get more money off. If there's damage reported and in many cases, it really doesn't matter on a lease, because it's not your problem, you're, giving it back at the end and it doesn't hurt you in any way financially to have that car. 
You also want to look out for models that have high residual values, meaning what they're gonna be worth at the end of the lease. You want to also look for low money factors, which is your interest rate on the loan, and in some cases, you can even find cars. Typically, electric cars with the government kicking in some money on your lease payment, so I had found luckily not too far. 
For me, because I live in a very saturated market which helps this definitely isn't as easy to do in other markets, but in Long Island we have, I want to say eight or nine BMW dealerships within a thirty to the forty-mile radius of each other. So the competition's pretty fierce - and I wound up finding a car that was very fairly close to me and it was a demo it had about three thousand miles on it. 
I work up this. This email and I've been using this email for years and basically, it sort of sets out my intention. I give the stock number and I and I go on the website and I grab usually two of the manager's emails and I CC them on the same email and I just state my intention, which is if we can do the following deal. I'd like to come. 
Try out the car you want to lease
Take the car this weekend tonight. I believe that that's an important thing to do if you're gonna try lease hacking is to actually be serious about taking that specific car because what you're doing when you send a lease hacking email is your sort of just making a proposal to a manager where There'S no work involved. If you did your work right and you know the numbers, there's no negotiation, it's just a simple business decision for them. 
Do I want to move this unit, or do I not so, I would definitely say, be serious if you're, if you're gonna try this, don't just go sending fifteen emails to a bunch of dealerships, hoping that one of them might come back because you'll probably Find that multiple dealerships come back with, with the offer that you were hoping for so the way you calculate a lease payment and figure out whether or not you're getting a good deal. 
You're gon na first want to start with figuring out what the MSRP is of the car, which is simply because that should be on the window sticker. And then you want to find out what invoice is for that and invoice is the price that the dealer pays for the car and in general, if you're hacking, the lease you want to get a pre incentive discount, meaning a discount before any manufacturer cash. 
Regional credits, lease incentives: you want to negotiate the discount before incentives and you want to try to get an invoice or better as a discount because remember we're usually going after aged inventory, something maybe less desirable, something so highly optioned that nobody wants it because it seems like It would be too expensive, so you start off with your MSRP figure out the discount. 
You want pre incentive, then you'll put in your tax incentives and the difficult part in calculating a lease. Is the money factor in the residual? That'S where all the that's? Where all the car dealership mystery happens is and where they play their games, as usually in the money factor, and the money factor is basically your interest rate on the loan. 
Interest rates for car lease deals
Some brands have very reasonable interest rates close to 0 %. Some brands, like Porsche, are charging you almost 7 % interest on a loan, and then you have brands like BMW that are in the middle somewhere around 3 %. So the best way to know what your base money factor is and what your residual is is to utilize the Internet. 
Unsurprisingly, the Edmunds forms are pretty much the only place in the best place you're ever going to find this information you'll. Typically, Google, something like BMW, 4-series, lease deals, Edmonds and you'll get a whole thread where you can simply just request the money factor in the residual for the deal that you're looking for, and somebody will get back to you and they'll tell you the base money factor In the base residual you'll plug all this into the calculator and you'll get a monthly payment, then, with your local sales tax included and then you'll have an idea of what that payment should look like at a base rate. 
So leasing does allow you a lot of movement, and you want to be sure of that before you lease a car, because some leasing companies do not allow these transfers some leasing. Companies also make you keep a part of the equity. So to speak. There are certain brands that they'll transfer the lease to somebody else, but they'll want you to still remain liable for, say: 20 % of the remaining payments should the other person to fall in the case of Porsche Financial they up until recently - and I believe this is Changing they keep you on the lease as a guarantor, even after you've transferred it. 
Things can go wrong too 
So now your car is in somebody else's possession completely and you're still just on the banknote with them and if they stop paying they'll just come after you for the remaining balance. Without doing anything to recover the car, give the car back to you or you're just you're completely out of luck, so I would say make sure before you lease a car if you have the intention of wanting to transfer out of it, which is very common thing To do make sure that you can freely transfer with no obligation after the fact, so at this point, I think I've successfully completed about three, maybe four lease transfers, and especially with BMW. 
For me, that's what I have the most experience with it's a very smooth process. You just make a phone call, they send your new buyer credit application that they can fill out online and if they get approved you get emailed a set of documents, everybody signs send it back and then they get their registration papers. 
And you get a note saying: alright, you can legally hand over the car and in the case of BMW, I've done a lease transfer and as quick as two weeks if you overnight the paperwork back so the best way to advertise the lease transfer. If you got a really good deal, you can go on the lease hacker forums. 
You could go on. Your relevant brand-related forms, I've always advertised on the BMW forms or if you really want to move something quickly, you can go on SWA police command you can pay their marketing fee. I think it starts at 99 goes up to almost five hundred dollars and they have different packages, but they are, without a doubt, the number one market place for moving a lease, because that's just a market that they've managed to capture, and usually, it takes Me no more than a week to find a taker or in a resume for a good lease deal. 
Dealerships are also an option for leasing a car
Now, if you were to go into a dealership, which I don't typically recommend because the worst way to negotiate any cars to just walk into the dealership, I always recommend sending an email ahead of time. Well, you'll find is that most dealers have a money factor markup just built straight into the system, so even if it looks like they're being transparent and they're just showing you the computer, and take a look at these numbers. 
Don'T these look great well that money factors probably marked up it without them even having to mark it up, to begin with. So if you go in armed with that knowledge of what those base rates are, you have a lot of advantage over a standard buyer who isn't necessarily sure what they're looking at on that computer screen? So one thing - that's really common for a dealer to do - is to show you an insane discount on the price of a vehicle, and this is why I say that the monthly payment doesn't matter. 
You really want to watch what your discounts and your incentives are because it's about how you get to that monthly payment that matters so the dealer might have a car. That'S forty thousand dollars and they're, showing you a ten thousand dollar discount and that's three or four percent below invoice and they're, saying to you. Look at this great discount, I'm giving you on this car nobody's gonna match this discount. 
But then the money factor is, let's say, point zero, zero one to eight, which I believe is about three and a half percent and that's the base rate, but on their computer. It'S the point: zero, zero, one, five! Six and now they have made a markup on the money factor which turns into basically pure profit for the dealership, some brands cap, the amount that a dealer can mark up the money factor. 
It totally depends on the brands
Some brands don't really care, it's just more about how the deal is structured. But if you didn't know that that was a marked up money factor, you would think well. This is a great deal, I'm getting a huge discount when in reality, it's probably an average discount or in many cases, not really much of any discount and they've just sort of made that money back up somewhere else in the deal. 
So there's this notion in the lease hacking community. If you'll, let me call it that if you can lease a car for one percent of the MSRP per month with zero down and your taxes rolled in, so basically the only thing you pay to pick up. The car is your first-month payment, any DMV fees and maybe some other small dealer fees that they use to just pad in that little extra bit of profit. 
But if you can get to that one percent mark with your taxes rolled in and no cap cost reduction, meaning no money. You pay to lower the monthly payment. That'S usually considered a good deal because that means that you're just paying 1 % of the MSRP per month to own the car, which is fairly in line with the honest depreciation of a car versus you paying for any accelerated depreciation. 
If you're shopping and your goal is simply to just get the best deal, and you really don't care whether or not it's a BMW, x3 or and Audi q5 or whichever midsize German luxury SUV, it is then you're at an advantage already because you have a lot Broader range and you can go on those headsman forms and you can take a look at what the residual values are and what the lease incentives are for that month. 
Finding out the best car leasing opportunities
And you can see what should lease best for that given month and then pick a car based on that personally, I always look for cars that I actually want, which makes it a little bit tougher, but one of the funny things about doing this is over the Years, I've made really good relationships with a lot of dealerships, and I've referred a lot of business to too many dealers, and I try to show some level of loyalty of the people who have helped me out and one of the things that I like to Say is the best way to to get yourself a good deal on a car is to simply just be nice to these people because they deal with nonsense all day long and people coming in and saying. 
I will definitely buy this car if you can do that. Deal and then they definitely don't buy that car the moment they say that they can do that deal because in their minds. They have this notion that well, if he can do the deal, then that means that there must be more or left, and I have to get it from them when in some cases they really are just giving you a good deal. 
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So I think it's one of my own written rules. This is just as nice as possible and value the dealers time and say simply look if we can make this work great and if not, then that's also a right, and I appreciate it. So I've been fortunate enough now to be at a point where, if I wanted to order a new BMWs always been what I'm into so. If I wanted to order a new car, I can pretty much usually just custom order about 2 % below invoice. 
Part of my recommendations is also are always to start your negotiations in the last week of the month with a deal that commences at the final two or three days of the month. And if you really can wait and you're in an advantageous position and you don't need a car immediately, the end of the year is also an incredible time to buy a car. I definitely had one lease deal where the dealership did money on the car. 
This was a BMW 4-series that I had gotten at a dealership out in Pennsylvania, and this was a unique case. I personally really thought that the car was cool, but in that specific market, which was a more wealthy ritzy part of Pennsylvania, a gray with a bright red interior 4 Series coupe with a manual transmission, was not something that their clientele was really going to want and To compound that further, the car was a manager demo, because we all know that they're not loaning out six-speed cars to anybody for a loaner. Just by itself. You should be able to get a good discount because it's a demo, but in this case, it had been sitting on their lot for quite some time, and I had started the conversation on this car and I wound up getting. 
I think it was about. Sixteen points. Eight percent off MSRP before incentives, and what really made this deal even crazier, is that BMW had a lot of four series is left in dealer inventory and there was about, I want to say, close to $ 8,000 in incentives on the four series and that in That month, I believe it was $ 5,500 in leased cash and another 25 or 3,500 in loyalty.
Lets take an example of leasing a BMW
 If you had owned a BMW in the previous 12 months and when you're doing your lease payments in general incentives, every thousand bucks is $ 30 off the lease on the 36 months or thereabouts. So if you can imagine that we're now artificially lowering the price of that car monthly by quite a large margin just from what BMW is kicking and that's not even a loss to the dealership. 
But we know that if BMW invoice is 6 % and holdbacks another five - that's 11 % well, this dealership was going about 16 and a half off pre incentive because they just I guess they just knew - that this car was never going anywhere in their market and They were probably going to have to wholesale it. That was definitely the best deal, and another thing to note that I also always say, is not to put any money down on a lease, even if you can - and you just want to make your lease payment lower for some reason - and you understand that there is A direct correlation to money down versus amount of off your lease you're, not actually paying less for the car you're just paying that amount upfront from what I understand. 
If you were to lease that car and then crash it a month later, you wouldn't get any of your downpayment back and you have gap insurance on the lease they're gonna cover what you have left to pay on the lease. But if you put $ 5,000 down well good for the insurance company, then they just have to pay out less but you're not getting any of your $ 5,000 back. If you crashed that car the day after you lease it, so in general, I would say: don't do a cap cost reduction on a lease, because there's some risk involved in that. 
One thing to note when you're looking to do a lease hacking deal is not to just look at what somebody else paid for the same car three or four months ago, because a lot of people think dealers are lying when they say that that's not possible. This month, this month, things are different, it's actually almost always true. Sometimes programs, don't change month-to-month, but in many cases, they do when it's a very complex thing and every model has different amounts of manufacturer incentives and cash on it and the money factor can change month-to-month. 
The residual can change month-to-month, so don't just see a great deal online and walk into a dealer expecting that you can get that deal that month. You have to do your research, you have to know your money factor. You have to know your residual. You have to know your incentives and you figure out what the best deal is for that month and if the deal doesn't seem particularly great that month and you can wait, then just see what happens next month. 
Conclusion
We'D like to thank Avalon King for their continued support of the Ben wiki YouTube channel. Obviously, I've installed it onto my Porsche 993, which one of our app users is gonna win. Once we hit a million subscribers, I've got it on the lp640 and it's performed flawlessly. In both cases, the cars are much easier to clean. The finish looks a lot better and I've really been impressed with it. 
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