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#being an inconvenience lmao)
parrot-parent · 2 months
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The people that live behind us are having their pool filled in and my house is. Noisy.
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thefabelmans2022 · 2 months
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Saw your tags on the rabies post; I think they only do preemptive vaccines for people with a higher risk of being infected, like veterinarians, or if you're travelling to a country where rabies is common and medical care is not. Otherwise... idk man, you can ask, but I think they'll refuse?
Rabies vaccines are nasty for people, there's a reason it's not part of the standard childhood vaccines. The rabies vaccine for humans is four injections into deep muscles, which will hurt like hell and makes you feel like you have the flu. Then three days after that it's another four needles, four more needles for the seven day mark, and another four at the fourteen day mark. So basically, you'll be miserable for a solid two weeks. Aaand if you got exposed to rabies after that, you would still need several rounds of booster injections just to be safe.
Basically it's expensive, painful, time consuming, and on the off chance you ever do get exposed to rabies, you'll have to got through part of the ordeal again. Just don't touch any mammals that you don't know are safe, especially stay away from bats, and you'll be alright.
that's a little disappointing ngl but thank you for telling me <3
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I had a moment with my parents over text today and i did end up meditating about things a bit in the car.
I was thinking about gaslighting. But a deeper, invisible kind that I hadn’t considered before.
When parents make a child feel unloved, but they tell the child they love them, they are teaching the child to negate their feelings in favour of technicalities. And when I say feelings I mean, the body. The knot in the stomach, the racing heart, the vague sense of unease, the intuition.
I grew up profoundly dissociated from myself in ways that I could not comprehend. And when I went out into the world and encountered people who told me they loved me but made me feel unloved, I did as I had been conditioned to do and I acted on my thoughts, not my feelings. I couldnt even feel my feelings, I was so dissociated from myself. And I didn’t even fucking realise I was doing it until today.
This year has been the year of rediscovering my body. I have had to intensively retrain my ability to sense things inside my body. Hunger, cold, needing to pee. It sounds insane but I’m not joking at all. I ignored my body for so long that each year it started screaming louder and louder until I could no longer ignore it. It took me 6 years to realise that the ever worsening heartburn that would literally wake me up at night was because I was not fucking eating enough food. It had to graduate to gallstones before I finally heard my body screaming for food. You know what you can’t do with gallstones? Not eat. Lmao. My body really got my number there.
In feb I started eating three times a day, after nearly a decade of erratic eating that primarily manifested as one meal a day, dinner specifically.
For weeks I woke up with such violent nausea that I eventually realised could only be eased by immediately putting food into me upon waking. I started keeping a banana next to my bed. It was like my body didn’t trust this new thing, that I was actually eating multiple times a day, and it was making a lot of noise about it. But after a few months the nausea eased and now I can manage a couple of hours before I start to feel ick and I have to eat. I’ve earned a little bit of trust. Also, my heartburn is greatly diminished. I needed some enzyme supplements for digestion for a bit, cuz i wasn’t used to eating normally, but I don’t need them much anymore. Maybe if I have a rich or heavy meal.
Every sphere of my life has been affected by the fact that I was conditioned out of being able to feel myself, sense myself, inside. I ignored my chronic back pain for years and years while I worked myself to death in kitchens, until in 2020 when I was off work for about 2 weeks, the longest break I’d had in years, my body seized its opportunity and fucked me so hard I couldn’t walk for months. Oh, have we stopped? Have we actually stopped now? Excuse me while I fucking fall apart real quick.
I wonder, if I’d been able to hear, feel, sense, the issues in my body earlier, would I have been able to prevent more serious injury? Would I be getting screened for ankylosing spondylitis? Would I have had a wheelchair in my house?
Would I have dated a single one of the fucks I dated as a teenager? Would I have been sexually assaulted? Would I have found myself in any of the dangerous situations I did? Would I have fallen blindly into disordered eating? Is there anything in my life that would have been the same?
Anyway. This stuff needs processing, I think. When we exist in our bodies in a state of fear and anxiety and an adult tells us this is how it feels when someone loves us, I think they set us up to be abused by others and also by ourselves.
Radical feeling is the only way out. You have to be willing to repair those connections, plug back into yourself and feel all the things you have not felt up until now. And it’s a lot, at first, it will deafen you, possibly incapacitate you, but hold the fuck on because it will ease up. Knit yourself back together. Life can be so much cosier.
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klonoadreams · 9 months
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btw I’m still alive, my dumbass just forgor to put tumblr app on my new phone and twitter is lowkey faster and that’s where most of the tempuras are for holostars en vhjfkhbefkjbefnb
NO BUT SERIOUSLY, I AM OKAY. I’m just busy and I forget to check tumblr like an idiot.
y’all can keep sending me asks about floof and the others, I’ll just take some time to answer them because I mcfucking need to download tumblr eventually onto my new phone so I can AT LEAST, like browse it in my downtime while at work. :V
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orcelito · 8 months
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OK WAIT here's a ITNL chapter 14 section that's not really spoilers. just a sweet lil section
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after this is where it's more Spoilers. but for now. HERE U go. happy birthday vash & also Uhhhh @ ITNL readers I PROMISE i am working on the chapter. things r just hard lol
#speculation nation#itnl shit#spoilers bc of uhh. Conversation. i wanna keep the conversation a secret for now lol#not bad spoilers it's just better digested as a whole probably#ANYWAYS heres some more vash & kaite bro time. god im gonna miss kaite when we gotta say goodbye to him#but he's still here for now and he gets to watch vash tinker with his (very internally fried) arm#before and after this section is vash inspecting the damages & thinking of what he can do to try to fix it#which i do have a lot written. but im gonna be going thru it for accuracy & also keeping in mind the thing from earlier#the possibility that average operational power of his arm comes from vash himself rather than extra batteries#this is with the assumption that a (relatively) small output of electricity is not smth that would fuck with his lifespan#just a normal expenditure of energy. like moving his flesh muscles. just a constant lil stream of electricity that he gets from eating & w/#no need to dip into his life reserves for it. bc if he did that would get impractical.#idk im going to think about it more. i really dont Need to figure out how his arm works#but listen. ive built a robot before. im in polytech. i wanna think about wtf his arm actually Is#even if this is coming in the context of all the internal wires being blown & a bunch of shit straight up Melted#his arm is... very very blown... he's gonna be going one-arm for a While still lmao. oh well#i think it's a good thing to remember that he is in fact physically disabled. he can make up for it Especially in a fight#but it still will inconvenience him in a lot of ways. cool biotech arm is cool but also it's nice to remember that he Is physically disable#and so i am embracing it. he's tinkering with his arm in his free time but if he has to spend weeks (or months) w/o his prosthetic#well that's just the reality he's gotta live#anywyas. Here u go. snippet. that's a few hundred words so idk if this counts as a snippet but im calling it a snippet. Here You Go
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Holy fucking shit the dysphoria is dysphoria-ing right now. I feel physically nauseous oh my fucking god. I’m gonna fucking kill someone maybe myself rn I’m gonna lose my shit holy hell.
Doesn’t help that I’ve been incredibly overstimulated the past few days every sound is like a fucking cheese grater in my ears oh my god.
#dysphoria#gender dysphoria#sensory processing disorder#tw emetophobia#for the nausea mention#idk if that’s needed or not#but yeah I’m about to tear off my fucking skin and jump off a building I am losing my fucking mind#it’s so over#lmao my brain is fucked i genuinely wanna off myself over this shit#and my mother keeps refusing to even entertain the idea of getting my name changed on the school role#even though all my teachers and friends call me Alex and that’s what I’ve been going by for a few years now#and it would make things significantly easier for everyone because it would fix my email name as well#so that’s not helping#and she was talking about my period and being all “it’s okay all WOMEN get these ❤️ you’re just becoming a beautiful woman#and now she keep being rude to my sister because she uses men’s deodorant (because it works better) and doesn’t really wear dresses#(because she finds them annoying and inconvenient)#and is being all “hurr durr you’re copying your SISTER stop being so masculine”#like fucking hell#shit talking me and harassing my sister all at once#man I want to fucking kill myself im so done with this shit#and I’m so overdue on school work and I feel so overwhelmed and stressed this fucking sucks#and I know the school work and stuff is fully my fault for forgetting and slacking off but I can’t bring myself to do them because the#stress of fucking up and just how much of it I have to do is pushing me to my damn limit#I can’t even bring myself to start on my film and media assignment that’s a week overdue because I’m so fucking stressed just thinking about#it and I’m so overwhelmed I can’t fucking do this. I just can’t. and I know I’m at fault for procrastinating and being too lazy and stressed#to bring myself to start working on it#and things are just gonna get more and more difficult#so yeah. rant over I guess. sorry guys#did not mean to rant in the tags this much dysphoria is just killing me and so is general stress#tw suicidal thoughts
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bl00dw1tch · 10 months
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Am i fundamentally inhuman and unlovable and unfit to exist in modern society and actually secretly an evil fake bitch or am i just going to start my period in a few days.
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realasslesbian · 1 year
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Idc who this upsets, but I actually hated the whole forced mask wearing era with a burning passion. As someone with epilepsy which is aggravated by heat, it was absolute hell to have to wear that shit because (and fuck what y’all abled-bodies wanna say) it DOES impact my breathing and make me overheat. And I actually cannot just ‘go get a medical exemption’ because a) they don’t give that shit out like free candy, I had to go pay $500 to a neurologist to get that lil note, and b) I could staple that med cert to my fucking forehead and still get people losing their minds every time I went anywhere without a mask. Everyone like ‘oh disabled people are so terrified of COVID-19 so you should think of them before ragging on masks like this’ as though everyone ain’t already spent the last three decades of my life not giving a singular shit about my disability, but now suddenly want to act like they care about disabled people? Why tf should I care about giving anyone the spicy cough when no one has ever given a fuck how many seizures their actions cause me? Y’all want me to put my own health at risk by wearing this mask, so you don’t get a lil sore throat, when y’all will remain deliberately oblivious to epilepsy and other heat-related illnesses, right up until someone dies, and then you’ll still have a giggle about that too? Way more people be dying every day from heat-related illnesses than from COVID-19, so where’s my mandatory air-conditioning and icepack stations at every street corner? Fuck hand sanitizer stations, provide me a free cold drink. Additionally, mask wearing was the ONLY thing people got this fucking turnt about too. It’s not like any of y’all were social distancing (something which would have actually helped me with my disability lmao). No one was getting booted out of stores for standing on my damn heels every time I had to get in a queue. Anyway, after the first twenty times I got asked to leave a store for not wearing a mask (despite having that magical medical certificate) I made up my own mask by getting four of those ‘valves’, absolutely gutting the inside of them to allow unrestricted airflow, and then stitching them into a linen mask. Still uncomfortable, fo sure, but a lot better than having to deal with hot air on my face and under my sunglasses while already struggling not to pass out in the middle of the Australian summer. 
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rinneverse · 2 months
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uuu…. xavier’s so cute…….
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necro-hamster · 3 months
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genuinely insane how my dad will whine and cry about how i don't spend time with him anymore then do everything in his power to make me want to stay far away from him
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silverislander · 4 months
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i have a weird relationship w the way i look bc on the one hand luckily i don't have very bad dysphoria, i don't get it abt a lot of stuff and it's not smth that's constant either i'm very lucky that way. but also. i know that w my body and my face and my voice i am never going to look a way that makes other people perceive me as what i am and that feels. really bad. but also i don't deserve to feel bad abt that bc i have features that are conventionally attractive. but also i hate them
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camscendants · 6 months
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So good
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4giorno · 7 months
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underappreciated thing from the stuffpack reveal: they only said they were incorporating "nordic" design. they didnt say scandinavian 💖
#you KNOW its only bc there are finnish ppl in the team lmaoooooo#i dont trust americans NOR swedes and norwegians to not use nordic and scandinavian interchangably#hjffjdjdjf trying everything to ignore how sad it makes me that im not looking forward to todays gi livestream or the next version#like do you know how soul crushing it is to not be excited abt the game you love the most and dedicate everything into lol#also if one more person tries to put colorblind wrio on my screen i will throw my phone down the stairwell LMAO#you are literally just as annoying as the fans who say blind ppl cant look in the direction of a person sitting next to them 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣#at least the ppl who dont see him as blind (which like congrats canon is with you) dont make weird mental gymnastics hcs#bc they dont want to ignore the teaser weirdness but also dont want it to be too inconvenient for their yaois#.................... ANYWAY that got out of hand bye now#actually kidding people also need to fucking stop calling arle a mama(bear) like why are yall so weird#we know she uses masculine titles like father and king#rlly disappointed to see this behavior even from a great youtuber with smart videos#and the quotation marks are literally just for us the audience for our clarity (even tho i think its dumb)#for example the term king is not in quotations bc we already have the clarifying quotations for father#the characters dont say it any differently or bend the sentences in stupid ways#so you should stop being weird too :)
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sassy-hedgie · 7 months
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in my “tired of masking and wishing i could not have to constantly be on edge at all times but not wanting everyone to hate me” era ✌️
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vitos-pink-shirt · 2 years
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Cracking myself up imagining a stray black cat deciding to adopt Henry as it’s person. Like he wakes up and it’s sitting outside his window or it managed to get into the apartment building somehow.
He opens his door and it’s sitting there and he has to call Vito or Joe like:
“Come get this fuckin’ cat! And bring some holy water with you!”
“What? No I can’t just chase it off! Don’t you remember my 13th contract? I’ll fuckin’ die if I walk out that door.”
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trashlie · 8 months
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Hello, I'm the anon from earlier. I'm not a business person by any means either, but I guess I was thrown off by the fact that a seemingly family-owned corporation like Hirahara Corp apparently had an outsider as CEO? Rand inheriting instead of Yui makes sense since there were no male heirs and this is probably a patriarchal set-up; but why didn't Koutaro, or any other Hirahara, become CEO rather than Young-chul?
I 100% think the partnership with the Kims continuing even after the past SA allegations is a "sleazy business world" thing. I doubt shareholders have any problems with it so long as it generates profit. Most likely the allegations didn't amount to anything, which is unfortunately realistic.
I can't WAIT for Yujing's article, it will no doubt send shockwaves throughout the system even if it doesn't manage to topple it just yet.
Oh absolutely, SAME! I've always felt that Yui herself resents that the company is passing down not through her, but technically through Rand, that his illegitimate child could possibly even stand an opportunity simply by being Rand's son (and thus why she has torn him down at every opportunity, so he never gets the chance to ever catch attention). Part of her whole deal with having Kousuke fast-track his way to CEO seems to be to bring the company fully back into the hands of the Hiraharas, so yes, I was DEFINITELY taken aback that someone OTHER than a Hirahara could have been a CEO.
Like... right. For what reason did it work out that way, that not even Koutarao was CEO? And if Yui doesn't want Hirahara falling into the hands of anyone else, it feels like a Choice to partner with them - although I guess it's because a partnership doesn't hold as much power?
A really half-baked thought I haven't been able to work through prior is that maybe Yui is playing some kind of long game - that by partnering with the Kims they could somehow let them fall back on their own sword (when you think about it, the Kims and Hiraharas are really poised to bring each other down, right?) but.... that seems messy and why would she do that? Then again... she likes a good hunt and chase. Tangentially a theory I have that goes dark is, perhaps, a member of the Kim family may have assaulted Yui when she was younger, but that's a topic for another post (I keep meaning to work on) but it loops back to "why would Yui partner with someone if she loathes them"? What does she seek to gain from that? She tends to see a few steps ahead of anyone else, so if she had had a plan, I wouldn't be shocked. After all.... wouldn't it be so easy to spin the story as "sob sob as it turns out, Gun Kim pressured us to make poor Nol take the fall for Sangchul; he was going around trying to drug girls at the Kim formal but he forced us to stay quiet~ you know how that family is~" which is, honestly, scary, but is it beyond the realm of the things Yui does? If anything, it feels like child's play, right?
On the one hand I'm like that's so convoluted, Yui would never, but only the other hand, this woman gets off on peoples' misery and loves to torture, so if she went through a long con to get back at the man/family who possibly did something to her when she was younger, if she played nice with them with the eventual intention to castigate them? Making them business partners gives enough reason to believe that they could "coerce" Yui and co to do anything, by trying to use the "lesser" of the Hirahara boys (barf) to take the fall. And how easy would it be to actually trace the drugs back to Yui? Oh, the accused perp is claiming she gave them to him? When there's a whole history of this happening at his school, in his family? When you look at Gun Kim and his rep? What other allegations have come from those Kim formals that never went anywhere? She could SO easily twist any of that!
But idk lmao it feels almost cartoon villain and I'm probably grasping at straws, but I let the thought live at the back of my mind, to see if it will grow into anything else and to see if we get anything else to change how I feel. Something definitely happened in Yui's past, of that I'm certain, but everything else is very loose conjecture.
But whether that has to do with the Kim Hirahara family history we're yet to see. There's so many questions I have and I really hope everything will be answered LMAOOOOO I also look forward to Yujing's expose, but ever since reading the theory that she's working on two separate pieces, I can't help but feel the real bomb will drop in s2. But even seeing what she's writing for Nol's case sounds promising, because it feels like the prelude of the much bigger piece, right?
GOD I get really excited just thinking of it, even though I feel like learning the eventual truth is gonna make me feel real nauseous. The seediness of the Kims and Hiraharas runs deep and twisted and UUGGGHHH. The angle of "the less fortunate" taking the fall for the affluent, privileged elite is suuuuch a good angle to work and I can't WAIT to see the ripples of it!!!!!
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