#because this love is incompatible with dying.

[compacflt]

Would you ever consider writing about a different path Ice and Mav could take, one where they choose to leave the Navy and pursue a more open relationship and civilian life? Thinking it would be easier but maybe the sacrifice to their careers brings its own challenges?

(hi, jan 2024 me here, this was an ask that I answered when it was sent in in May 2023 & didn't post because I felt I actually answered it fictionally in the "icedad" one-shot the week after [and you can obviously see how these thoughts affected the writing of other pieces like "tremors & aftershocks"], but I still mostly agree with this take [though it's a little overgeneralizing] & I think it sums up a lot of my final "meta" modern-military-theory thoughts on ice & mav & their relationship, so im posting it now before I post the compacflt masterpoast)

see,… the thing is, i just… can’t see that happening!! i have no idea how to write that!!! Maybe i really do have a lack of imagination. But i can’t see that happening for a number of reasons. So short answer, no.

Long answer (and it’s long):

1. lame reason to start out, but it, uh, it’s canon that ice ends up at O-10 and mav ends up at O-6. not saying that im beholden to canon obviously (my mav ends up at O-7 and my ice ends up alive) but I do base my characterizations of them on the implications of the political struggles of both their careers so… taking away ice’s fourth star is basically starting from square one wrt my characterization of him. which is a lot of work. i could start from the beginning with a top gun 1986 ice who knows he’s gay—that would be a fun AU (i think other people than me have definitely done that better, though—I’m a one-trick pony). So if that’s what you mean then disregard the rest of this post. but if what you mean is a divergence from my existing work (i.e. homophobic/rank-climbing ice&mav) then… yeah, can’t see that happening, for further reasons below.

2. wrt my characterization of him: it’s based on a broad historical overview of armed service officers and the expectations of their careers. in my view, high-ranking officers aren’t after power—or maybe they started their careers wanting power, but somewhere down the line, it just becomes an expectation. if you do everything right and follow all the rules, you are expected by the institution to lead, whether you want to or not. That’s just the pipeline. at some point you start losing agency. which is what I mean when I keep saying ice doesn’t have a choice in advancing his career (besides the meta fact that this is fanfiction and canon demands that he have 4 stars lol)—high ranking military officers are continually and continually groomed for bigger and better positions; and the longer they spend in the military, the harder it is to leave that lifestyle for something else. And with ice’s canonical (and characteristically INTEGRAL, as I mentioned a week or so ago) refusal to rebel against the wishes of the navy as an institution, plus this historical expectation to lead placed upon the shoulders of excelling officers, I really do think ice is destined for four stars & nothing less, even if it gives him chronic depression. It’s his highest priority not because he wants it to be, but because…it just is. that’s how the institutionalized system of advancement in the military works. it just is. it has to be.

3. I mentioned in this post that I can’t ever see a foot in the door with them talking about their relationship unless maverick dies and is resurrected, and I feel the exact same way about them & their retirement plans. There’s a lot that ice and mav don’t talk about: the biggest one is obviously Goose’s death, the foundation of their relationship; but also their love for each other obv, what they did to rooster, AND their careers, which have to end at some point. Them talking about everything is totally inevitable, it was gonna have to happen eventually before they died, and I think one foot in the door MIGHT have been them eventually talking about retirement (someone sent in a prompt asking for this exactly & i am brainstorming it furiously) but before the Navy FORCES them to retire… i think they would studiously avoid talking about it. For a couple reasons: a) what does retiring with each other mean? living in the same house until they die together? hard to do if you’re just good friends. talking about retirement is tantamount to talking about Them. and b) what are they gonna do outside the navy? Ice has a lot of options, as I mentioned in the slider one-shot—general/flag officers are SUPER sought after in leadership/intelligentsia/management positions post service, so maybe if he were offered a crazy cool civilian position somewhere in San Diego in like the 2000s he would quit the navy for it… but what about maverick? I have no idea what a non-navy mav would do. Civilian airline pilot? Hoo boy. I think he’d hate that. I could maybe see emergency helicopter pilot, lol, or race car driver (i just watched days of thunder can you tell?) but none of the above offers the institutionalized honor the navy does (that, as a reminder, he *killed people* to obtain in the first place). I suggested his test piloting expertise would make him an attractive technical advising candidate to A&D companies like Boeing, LockMart, GD, etc. so that might be one option. But it might have been kind of a touchy subject for him before he racked up the expertise he’d need for those high-level civilian positions… the navy was kinda his only option. So they wouldn’t talk about it because it might hurt his feelings.

4. The biggest reason: again… open rebellion like rocking the boat by quitting the navy to be in an open long-term gay relationship, in upper mil brass ranks, and even retired upper mil brass ranks, just… isn’t done. And REALLY wasn’t done in the 2000s, when i think the scenario in this ask is positioned. And it’s not like “oh but whatever who cares about the navy, ice and mav are in love, they deserve to be happy no matter what, they should do what they want, fuck the navy…” no. Ice and Mav care about the navy. Clearly. Canonically. By necessity. The military requires cohesion and on some level repression of individuality & personal expression to FUNCTION, even when you’re retired. Yes, maverick certainly strains against that repression (which is why you Could spin top gun as an anti-military franchise if you were desperate enough), but he rebels through his ACTIONS (stupid plane maneuvers) not through his personal IDENTITY. his personal identity (headstrong overtly masculine white male pilot, whether gay or straight who cares) is NEVER challenged throughout the franchise (i.e. no one really challenges his masculinity specifically) & his personal identity does not POSE a challenge to the navy. Both he and ice in their outward-facing personal identities really fit in quite neatly to the navy’s overarching identity & contribute to the navy’s cohesion in a way that is favorable to both their careers and the establishment. Lack of imagination or not… i can’t see a universe in which Ice and mav would actively WANT to rock the boat and wreck the navy’s cohesion and their reputations for an open relationship and definitively rebellious personal identities, with the obvious caveat being Maverick’s death recontextualizing both their priorities (yes we’re in love AND we’ve finally proven ourselves to be ultra-capable officers regardless of our sexuality so no one has a license to judge us anymore etc.).

And also, they’re not enlisted seamen. Nor are they mediocre officers who have the luxury of fading into obscurity. Things are different when you’re that high in the ranks, and when your job publicly matters more. sorry, but even post DADT (probably until about biden’s election), an open relationship would end their careers. They might not be fired, but they’d never be promoted again. Too much of a liability getting subordinates to still respect them, from the higher-ups’ perspective, especially if there are other qualified candidates who fit the navy’s core identity better. Like—sorry. This is such a jaded oversimplification. But if you rock the boat like that (i.e. break the service’s united front to be individualistic in a way that does not match the service’s overarching identity), from the perspective of your officer peers, you simply are a bad officer. Being an open individual in a job where you are required to fit in and represent your service is not your job. You are not doing your job well. Straight-up. Even if you’re retired. I met US Army 4-star gen. David Petraeus (retired obv) in February—he led the successful-ish surge in iraq and Afghanistan in the mid-2000s—and he’s STILL a laughingstock for his disastrous affair with his biographer a decade ago, even after he retired from AD service. That’s what people remember him for, not the fact that he was one of our only successful commanders in any of our Middle East campaigns.

Something like that might be one of ice and mav’s worst fears—being known for their affair/scandal instead of the institutionalized honor they’ve fought and killed for. That kind of thing just Isn’t Done. It's bad taste. You have to keep it quiet. If you’re an officer representing the service, you have to represent it well & according to the service’s preconceived identity, even in retirement. (see, for another shitty example of "not fitting in" even in retirement, Lt. gen. Mike Flynn [his whole scandal is actually kinda geopolitically relevant to my fic if you squint lol] whom everyone fucking hates)

To summarize: i hope I’m not mischaracterizing your ask when i reframe it like this—would you ever write ice and mav without the institutionalized pressure to advance in rank and conform to institutional norms?

and yes, I would (and will if you ask—it looks like this: ice & mav meet & fall in love & it’s boring and fine. end of story), but I guarantee you someone else already has. I’m all about interrogation of institutional norms here. And i think until maverick dies & comes back from the dead, there is absolutely no *REALISTIC* incentive for ice & mav to leave the navy and/or have an open relationship. Like it’s just not possible. Idk how else to say it.

#which is like the whole point of my fic right. this is exactly what im trying to say with the story as a whole #these are flawed institutions stuck in their ways and ice as an officer REPRESENTS that flawed institution stuck in its ways #until real life (maverick dying) gets in the way and makes him reevaluate his priorities #and the truth is—his 1st priority (loving maverick) is absolutely incompatible with his 2nd priority (advancing his naval career) #for the reasons listed above #so he quits! #but just because he quits doesn’t mean he doesn’t still represent the navy! that’s the curse of officership #per the slider oneshot: You can’t ever retire once you get any stars. #unfortunately in a realistic world Ice really DOES owe the navy his discretion. that’s how it works. #tom iceman kazansky #pete maverick mitchell #top gun #top gun maverick #icemav #asks #edts notes #the thing with petraeus though is that his affair was notable bc he leaked a bunch of classified info to her #so not the best example but it was still cool (in like a oh you’re a historical figure sense) to meet him so I’m bragging abt it #(see tweet I just added) #additionally: the military is changing! in this universe it would be young upstart officers like rooster/hangman who contribute #to the liberalization of military officer culture! #but that kind of change Is Not happening in the 50s-60s cadre of upper level officers. At all. Ice included. #anon let me know if this wasn’t what you meant in your ask. #& feel free to disagree/argue with me this is just my view #lol the DOD just banned drag shows in the military #^ these tags are 7 months old now

[neerons]

Some of Chevalier Michel’s best quotes

“You have plenty of time. Therefore, it’s not necessary to overload yourself to the point of harming your health just for the sake of learning. I’m not in a hurry. I’ll wait patiently for you to reach your full potential.”

“I don’t mind making you my woman.”

“If you value your life, trust no one.”

“Allowing their deaths to be in vain would be an affront to those who utterly devoted themselves to the kingdom.” (—Chevalier talking about the dead soldiers to MC)

“That’s how values work. Just because two ways of thinking are incompatible doesn’t mean one is right and the other is wrong.”

“If you ever feel like crying, tell me. I’ll torment you so thoroughly that you’ll forget how to cry.”

“Until I’d met her, I’d never have considered letting another person touch me.” (—Chevalier’s thoughts about MC)

“Can a man read in peace without you staring at his face?”

“Don't... say another man's name... so much. It grates on my ears.”

“You're quite graceless, you know? Your legs seem to be shaking.”

“You are my queen. It does not matter how many years go by, I have no intention of loving any other woman.”

“If the rabbit has time to spend with you, she'll spend it with me instead.” (—Chevalier talking about MC to Clavis)

“I had no intention of letting anyone complain about a commoner being in a relationship with royalty, and it didn't bother me, either.” (—Chevalier's thoughts)

“What might your hand be doing in your pocket? I dare you to throw one of those concoctions of yours at me. Just know I will kick you into the next century.” (—Chevalier to Clavis)

“Maids are servants. They follow their master or mistress' orders, thus creating a clear discrepancy in power. But I do not wish you to be below me. What I desire is for us to be equals, serving each other in a cooperative and mutual manner.”

"...Now that I think about it, I was rather fond of you from the very beginning. (...) To begin with... is there any man who would barge into the room of a woman he doesn't like? The palace is huge. There are many places... where I could go to spend leisure time, instead of expressly going to your room."

"You look terrible. (...) There's no need to feel ashamed. Not everything that has value is beautiful."

"You're the one at fault for leaving the covenant YOU created so open to interpretation. A shame." (—Chevalier to Sariel)

"Currently, a servant manages the palace library, but he's no expert, so his work is sloppy. I've been dissatisfied with it for a while now, but... you're proficient at handling books, yes?"

"It's not that you 'can' stay by my side, it's that you 'will' stay by my side."

"(...) Do you think I would allow you to die so easily after you laid a hand on my lover? (...) I've said as much before, but dying is not what you should be doing. What you should be doing is returning home to your loved ones, no matter how shameful you look." (—Chevalier to Flandre)

"Ever since I was a child, love had been the one thing I was most indifferent to. (...) My one and only reason is that I wanted to know what love was. Ridiculous, I know."

"I'm not so famished that I'd eat something I don't need. ...I want you so much that I could just eat you all up right now."

"(...) Any guest of MC's is a guest of mine as well." (—Chevalier talking about an enemy to Clavis)

#might add more later #chevalier michel #ikepri chevalier michel #ikemen prince #ikemen series #quotes #cybird #otome game #cybird otome

[m1ssunderstanding]

Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 1.2

George: We don't have to keep [an image] up, we just remain ourselves. Don't we, Ringo? Ringo: well, we do, I mean, it's the other two we're worried about. It's a joke about John and Paul being bigheads, but a crazy person – definitely not me – could also see it other ways if they wanted to.

Paul talking about their mutual friend when asked how they met and John telling him not to complicate it. They're so married it's ridiculous. 

Always looking at each other with every single joke. 

He looks like he's in a lovely enclosure at the petting zoo. I've always been so confused by this footage. Can anyone tell me what the hell is going on?

I LOVE that we now know Paul was cast as Thisbe and John as Pyramus and then they switched. I'm actually dying to know how and why that happened though. My first instinct was “of course. Paul was scared he'd look too convincing as a woman, so John did it for him.” But no. Paul dressed as a woman at the cavern, wore ladies lingerie in Hamburg, and wanted to do a full drag show on TV in the early seventies. So why not Thisbe?

Why do you as a man randomly bring up the color of your friend's dick while staring lovingly into his eyes?

It must be noted. They had a wonderful time playing star-crossed lovers. 

The bickering pianos are so cute! And then John (prompting Paul): and John and I . . . Paul: oh I hate this. John: will probably carry on . . . Paul: we'll carry on songwriting . . . You just know Paul didn't hear the end of that one interview answer for a long long time. And it's because John just had to hear it over and over again.

Love the editing so that Paul smacks John's ass right as the symbols crash. 10/10 A+

This iconic moment. Poor George tally number 4.

Interviewer brings up marriage and John takes a shot like he wants to forget that the whole concept even exists. Literally poor Cynthia. And not even in an “lol her husband's gay” type of way. Just in a genuine “the way their relationship fell apart actually breaks my heart because she really did love him and in his way he loved her too but they were just so thoroughly incompatible” type of way. 

Paul: makes a stupid dad joke. John: giggles gleefully and kicks his feet

I have never seen someone so disappointed that they didn't need to lend their friend a pen. Paul had his hand in his pocket before John even asked the interviewer for a pen and when the interviewer gives him one, Paul literally hangs his head like he's just been cut from the school play. I just. The obsession is frankly cartoonish. But also, he just needs to be needed, you know? How many songs does he have which conflate being needed and being loved?

The juxtaposition of Paul and John elaborately messing with the interviewer (“yes John Lenard, that's me” and “actually it's done by mirrors.”) vs George's “I don't know” and “yeah.” it's actually kind of mean editing but whatever. It is ULM not UH. Someone should make that though.

Again, John. Calm down. He's not that funny. Just look at Jimmy. That's the normal person's reaction to that joke. John is half the reason Paul has such a big head honestly. 

Paul's answer to a question about the Beatles gaining a lot of adult fans is nice. Sometimes he shocks with a bit of wisdom. Sometimes his words don't get messed up at the point they hit his throat as he says. 

What the fuck? Okay so the interviewer asks Paul what he likes in a girl, right? I've always been too distracted by Paul saying he likes a sense of humor and John doing an obnoxious fake laugh in the background because John. It's embarrassing how obvious you are. Stop.

But I never noticed Paul actually says “people”. The interviewer asks about girls and he says he likes “people - er - girls” to have a sense of humor. Huh. Okay. 

So ULM was actually what made me a serious Beatles fan and this was the first moment where I had to pause it and verify to see if what I'd just read was actually true. It really is a doozy. 

How to flirt. A guide by Paul McCartney. Step one: get your crush’s attention. This should be extremely easy. Just gesture vaguely at something you're holding. He'll be interested. Step two: do something suggestive to a phallic object. Step three: that's it. You've got him. He'll do whatever you want.

The editing in this thing truly is brutal. Just the jump cuts from a question about Cynthia to John and Paul making each other laugh to girls screaming to John and Paul unnecessarily touching to girls passed out on the ground to John and Paul desperate for each other's attention to girls waving signs to John and Paul sharing weird eye contact to girls physically mobbing them to John and Paul beaming at each other to a question about Jane. It really does drive home the immense pressure of compulsory heterosexuality back then. 

Then a question that's obviously meant to poke a nerve and start some bad feelings. “Paul. Is John the leader of the Beatles?” Easily rebuffed with “no I'm not” and “there's no real leader”. I know I'm dramatic but really it's like every aspect of that society was against them you know? And they just kind of said "fuck you, we're crazy about each other."

Question: what do they think about when they're imprisoned in their hotel rooms? John: we don't think about one thing. *Whips head to look at Paul* well, some of us do. Oh and you know that how exactly? What, do you just have a printout of his every thought? Do you keep constant tabs on his dick?

Someone give me the heterosexual explanation of that moment when John very clearly and obviously checks out and appreciates Paul's ass as he and Ringo are pretending to be cowboys. Seriously. I'm at a loss here. 

Poor George tally number six? Seven? They're asked what they'll do if England reinstates the draft. John brings up Southern Ireland. George brings up Germany. Paul and John plan their joint escape to Southern Ireland as if George hadn't even spoken. 

The choice to play “Another Girl” over that quote of John's being like ‘Paul's actually much meaner than i am’ is great. Because that's seriously such a jerk song. I don't much like Jane, honestly, but fuck, she deserved so much better than Paul. He was such a douche.  

Literally all the song choices in this are phenomenal. “Hide Your Love Away” over the montage of 60s homophobia moments? It's so genius. Saying everything without saying anything. Letting the Beatles do the talking. 

The laugh track over the cartoon is honestly so sad. Nobody asked them if they were okay with being mocked like that and they never even made a dime off it. What would that have felt like to know that your being “too close” with your best friend was a running joke on TV?

“It's only love and that is all. Why should I feel the way I do?”

#paul mccartney #the beatles #john lennon #mclennon #ringo starr #george harrison

[avonne-writes]

Fallen Angel AU

What if every human has a guardian angel assigned to them to help them through life?

These angels have strict rules to follow about how much they can interfere on the human plane of existence and what they can help with. They're able to give their person invisible hugs, for example, or help them make more fortunate decisions, but they can never ever talk to their person or let themselves be seen. And they must not use their own energy to heal their person if the person is dying.

Breaking the rules can result in various punishments. The most severe: banishment from Heaven.

Gale is a young angel, but he’s very talented. The people he guarded so far in his few hundred years of existence all had great, happy lives, were decent citizens and never got into any trouble. Lots of trainee angels look up to Gale and try to get him to share what his secret is.

Gale, fresh off the case of a philanthropist who died of old age, gets assigned to a "rescue case" as they call them. A human who got abandoned by his angel or whose angel has been reassigned due to failure or incompatibility. The entities "upstairs" have high hopes that this human isn’t beyond saving yet, and that he, at least, would be a nice challenge for their little star.

So, Gale braces himself and sets off to try to guide one Bucky Egan, 20-something disaster back to the fortunate path.

But this time, nothing goes according to Gale's plans, because he ends up breaking one of the most important rules of a guardian angel - he falls in love with a mortal.

---

One of my WIPs 🥰

#mota #buck x bucky #clegan #gale cleven #john egan #my writing #I've been playing around with this idea for a while now #another wip on the list! #fallen angel au

[variousqueerthings]

on aroace queerplatonic doctordonna

@foxfables just answering you here, since it's easier for me than on the replies, cos wooord count:

1. a fair amount of espeeecially aroace fans of the show have talked a lot about how we read the doctor as aroace and a lot of the pain that comes with Companions is their often moving on specifically for alloromantic and allosexual reasons (whether or not they were looking for that from the doctor, lots of examples in classic!who of companions having not-at-all that kind of dynamic with the doctor, and leaving for a romantic relationship) and how that especially comes to the fore with ten's doctor -- and we relate to that pain

2. the doctor's and donna's relationship was specifically deliberately created to be a platonic relationship, going so far as to spell it out in their first adventure together in s4 and then making fun of the idea that they could ever be read as alloromantic in any way

3. "despite" this explicit non-romantic and non-sexual framing, their story was one of deep abiding love and partnership, with the doctor occupying a similar -- if not even moreso -- position in the noble family as they had done with the tylers or the ponds, where they were deeply embedded not just in donna on her own when she was out travelling, but in her family affairs. that's the "queer" of the platonic part -- they're not just good friends who meet up sometimes but have other relationships that are higher up the hierarchy for being romantic, they build their life around each other (clarifying queerplatonic partnerships can and do also exist when one or more people within them have romantic relationships, but the point is the hierarchy -- which we see when shaun arrives too)

4. and it all culminated in a massive heartbreak for the both of them, where they couldn't be together anymore, despite both of them desperately wanting that -- donna didn't leave the doctor, the doctor didn't leave her to a life that was "better" suited to her (which the doctor sometimes has made decisions about against their companion's wishes). it was a tragic queerplatonic story, and one in which the doctor ended up dying/regenerating alone after making sure that everyone else was fine (notably, this "fine" included romantic relationships in almost every scene of that montage -- sarah-jane is an outlier)

5. this story then, was asking the question over and over: why this face? why does the universe/the tardis always bring me back to you? what is this mysterious force that's making us fated to meet this way? and for awhile neither the doctor nor donna can answer that -- the doctor constantly talks about bringing donna home to her family, her life, because the doctor is used to eventually having to go off alone, and by now donna is married and has a kid. how could there possibly be space for the doctor in that? and of course donna wouldn't be able to travel again. it's as incompatible as it always was

6. and then the story answers that question by going: donna is the doctor's family. this face came back to be with donna again. they're not romantic, but they are partners, donna's daughter, donna's husband, donna's mother, donna's grandfather, are all the doctor's family too

7. the doctor didn't need to promise a romantic/sexual relationship that they couldn't actually offer, didn't have to become someone else, didn't have to twist into a shape they couldn't, they just had to let themself stop running long enough to understand that this is the love they deserve to have

that's the power of the doctordonna in the end. this is what this doctor ends up living for, not grand battles and great destinies. just loving your best friend and being loved in return. that is the final thesis of this entire era of doctor who, and it's very aroace queerplatonic in theme

#doctor who #dw #donna noble #the doctor #the fourteenth doctor #the tenth doctor #dw spoilers #doctor who spoilers #aspec doctor #aroace doctor

[jackoshadows]

Reading posts about how marrying Sansa is going to be a reward for Jon Snow...

If these shippers had actually read the Jon and Sansa POV chapters in the books they would realize just how incompatible these two characters are. Reading fanfiction and made up headcanons disguised as 'meta' does not equate to the actual story and characters of the books.

Jon Snow would consider it a punishment to marry Sansa and vice versa. A Jon/Sansa marriage would basically be another Stannis/Selyse marriage.

Sansa was matchmaking Mya Stone with a much older, low born, 'not handsome' (in Sansa's opinion) freerider like Lothor Brune because, as a bastard, that's all Mya qualifies for in Sansa's eyes. As of the most recent book, Sansa would be shocked and disgusted if anyone tries to marry her off to a bastard. Over 5 books she hasn't shown the slightest bit of class consciousness. She would never mingle with Jon's friends at the Wall - Crows and Freefolk included - the way someone like Arya or Dany would.

Jon Snow in turn would treat her opinions with the same disdain he showed Selyse's ideas of decorum and his deputies' bigotry. He already has no patience for and scoffs at the songs and stories about valiant knights rescuing damsels in distress.

And by the way, do Jonsa shippers understand that Sansa is a distant last when it comes to Jon's affection and love for the Starks in the books?

After calling Arya his heart and his home, breaking his sworn oaths and dying to save her from a forced marriage in the most recent book - one of his last dying thoughts being of Arya - do Jonsa shippers really think that Sansa is going to suddenly and randomly supersede Jon's unconditional love and care for Arya in book 6?

What is it it about Sansa that is supposedly different now and which is going to change Jon's entire character, personality, relationships and motives - consistent over 5 books - to randomly be like - 'Oh I love Sansa now! She's the love of my life! Arya who?'

I am going to therefore assume that Jonsa shippers wanting Jon and Sansa to marry are okay with Arya always being number one in Jon's heart and affections when it comes to the Starks. Because that's how it is in the books and it's so very clear to anyone who has read the books.

#Jon Snow #Sans Stark #Arya Stark

[bettdraws]

Just saw a reel that was discussing Elain and Lucien not being endgame because her “choosing” someone else would be a lot more compelling of a story than another mating bond story.

When I see stuff like this I just want to ask… how? How is it more compelling?

So… I wanted to imagine what that “compelling story” would be like according to them. Elain and Azriel start seeing eachother in secret, will their romantic arc just be Azriel beginning to see Elain as a capable individual with wants needs and motivations beyond sex? Will it be that he stops obsessing about her mating bond with Lucien and that she isnt his mate? Okay. What is their tension point? Rhys? So Azriel will tell Rhys he loves Elain and Rhys will still not support his brother? Okay. Will Lucien be their tension point? If Elain tells Lucien that she loves Azriel and not him (even though she wouldn’t know they aren’t compatible because she never even let herself know him at this point) do you believe Lucien will not let her go? That he will call a blood duel or cut ties with the NC because of Elain when he canonically has been the only character to put duty before his feelings? And that he also has planned to let Elain be with her fiance if thats what she wanted since before meeting her? Okay.

If we take the canon stuff that has been written about these characters, then NONE of these plot points have tension or conflict. Elain would tell Lucien she doesn’t want him and Azriel would tell Rhys he is in love with Elain and thats as far as that plot goes.

Great, now Elain and Az are together, but what happens? They live happy together in Velaris forever, or Elain starts having the what if thought that comes with having rejected something she didn’t even know she wouldn’t want… And Azriel forever has the fear that Elain will one day wake up and choose to explore something with her ACTUAL mate, and what happens if Azriel’s mate shows up, will Azriel also reject his mating bond, would this also not plague both of their minds FOREVER?

And Lucien? Canonically he could be losing his mind and overall his arc would be that his epic romance ended in Jesminda dying and his mate rejected him without even getting to know him💀 But he will suddenly overcome this and be with another female who will not have the same doubts about being with him that Elain and Azriel have? Right.

Should I keep reminding everyone that this is a fated mates story in a universe where fated mates relationships that have love are the THE EPITOME OF LOVE?? THE MOST SOUGHT OUT AND WANTED, PERIOD???

I keep saying this but I will say it again, in order to have that “compelling story” where Elain rejects Lucien we should have had them already interact with each other, she should KNOW she doesn’t want him, and no, not because she is avoiding him now it means she has already decided they’re incompatible, THIS SHOULD BE CLEAR BY NOW. I swear these people don’t understand how a romantic arc with a HAPPY ENDING looks like.

Anyway we all know what the actual compelling story is, where the tension really lies, where Elain will have to grow and find her happiness in places she probably never expected, where her own needs and motivations will be respected and accounted. And no, its not with Azriel.

#elucien #pro elucien #lucien vanserra #anti e/riel #pro elain archeron #pro lucien vanserra #they talk about this like they’re so smart too😭

[thepro-lifemovement]

Writer Sarah St. Onge knew her unborn baby girl did not deserve to be killed just because she was dying.

But again and again, despite her and her husband John’s repeated refusals, doctors asked if they wanted to abort their daughter Beatrix, according to the Christian Post.

“We don’t determine somebody’s ability to overcome something before they’re even born,” St. Onge told The Christian Post in a new interview. “There’s only so much that testing can do. But the bottom line is that it’s not my right to take someone else’s life. Nobody has the right to decide if somebody else should live or die.”

St. Onge, a conservative writer and pro-life advocate, said she and her family still grieve for the loss of Beatrix, who died in 2010 after living only 1 hour and 47 minutes outside the womb. She emphasized that her daughter’s medical condition did not make her life any less valuable.

Doctors first detected problems with Beatrix when she was only nine weeks pregnant, her mother recalled. At 12 weeks, St. Onge said they found excess fluid at the back of her neck and thought she might have Down syndrome.

Then, at 16 weeks, doctors discovered Beatrix’s abdominal wall had not formed properly and her organs partially were growing outside her body, according to the report. Another test also found that she probably had Trisomy 13, a genetic disorder that causes severe disabilities and can be fatal.

St. Onge said her daughter was described as “incompatible with life,” and a genetic counselor encouraged her and her husband to consider an abortion. They refused, but her doctors continued to suggest abortion even when she told them to stop.

At 26 weeks of pregnancy, Beatrix was diagnosed with Limb Body Wall Complex in which the organs develop outside the body, she continued.

Throughout the devastating ordeal, she said doctors did not seem to care about her wishes or her daughter’s life.

“When I brought doctors peer-reviewed studies detailing treatments for children with her disorder, & asked if we could try to save her, I was laughed at and called ‘tenacious,’” St. Onge said. “When … my water broke and I asked for steroids to promote lung maturity, I was told, ‘We don’t do that for babies who are just going to die.’

“At every turn, any effort which could potentially help my daughter was brushed off as me being overzealous and unrealistic,” she said.

Beatrix was born and died Dec. 12, 2010, and holding their baby girl was such a special time for St. Onge and her husband.

“It almost felt like there was nobody else in the world, just my husband, me and her, sitting in that room in the quiet,” she told the Christian Post. “She was beautiful and lovely, and it was good. It was all good.”

Far too often, abortion is portrayed as the most compassionate option in such situations. But St. Onge disagreed.

“Babies are not possessions,” she said. “They’re individual human beings. And part of being human is that we die. And the love that you invest in people before that point outweighs any pain and suffering that you feel when they leave.”

#prolife #pro life #pro-life #anti abortion #abortion #babies #life news

[that-ari-blogger]

Iconic (Defying Gravity)

If you look up "iconic Broadway songs", you get lists upon lists of musical numbers, but there are a few constants. Beside One Day More from Les Misérables, Don't Cry For Me Argentina from Evita, and Seasons Of Love from Rent, you will usually find Defying Gravity, from Wicked.

If you think about it, this is actually rather weird, right? The aforementioned songs are about preparing for death, dying, and looking back on life, respectively. Defying Gravity is about a witch deciding to fly. A story that is objectively fantastical (it depicts magic and flying monkeys in a place that definitely does not exist) stands next to stories of real-world history and events, and nobody bats an eyelid because... well... because it's just that good.

This is like a corgi winning a race fair and square against a ton of cheetahs.

I think it's worth examining just what Defying Gravity does to stand beside giants, and what story it is telling.

Let me explain.

SPOILERS AHEAD: (Wicked)

Defying Gravity is a battle cry.

When you examine a piece of media, the first thing you need to understand is what it is that that piece of media is trying to achieve. For example, if you examine a commercial for toothpaste through the same lens as a commercial film, that commercial will fall short. Similarly, if you examine a song that is trying to get stuck in your head through a classical, technical lens, things get funky.

You can, of course, apply those different lenses if you want. That's the fun thing about art, there are few rules. But even then, you need to understand the purpose of the text.

Defying Gravity is a battle cry.

It is a song that calls to arms its listeners. It says to Oz that things will get better, if Elphaba has to tear down the world to make it so. And it tells the audience to get excited, because someone has just started shaking things up.

The song is a turning point in the musical. It is the end of act one, and it sets the trajectory of the second half of the story. It defines how the characters will behave going forwards. But also...

Defying Gravity is a breakup song.

I don't think the two are disconnected at all. Wicked is about reality and dreams colliding, and it follows the seeking of freedom. The twist is that for freedom, you have to give up your safety, and Glinda isn't prepared to do that, but Elphaba is.

This is a piece by @abd-illustrates (Youtube, Deviantart). Although I believe it's technically about No Good Deed, I feel it's relevant here and a spectacular feat of artistic merit that I had to put it in.

Wicked has been accused of queer bating by fans, and while I see that angle, I don't quite agree. I think that the romantic relationship between Glinda and Elphaba does happen, but the fact that it doesn't work is key to the story. They are doomed lovers, and this song is that breaking point.

What is more valuable to our protagonists? Autonomy or stability? Both characters pick different options, and that incompatibility tears them apart.

"Elphaba, why couldn't you have stayed calm for once? Instead of flying off the handle!

I hope you're happy

I hope you're happy now

I hope you're happy how

you've hurt your cause forever

I hope you think you're clever"

Glinda's perspective here is clear, she believes in the system she is a part of. She sees its flaws, but because they work for her, she sees them as strengths. And this is understandable, the system has only benefited her, so she is blind to its faults.

But understandable is not the same as agreeable, and I am inclined to follow Elphaba's logic here. The system is unjust, and directly in opposition to her goal of fairness and equality. She wants to make the world a better place, and now that the system's lies are revealed to her, she needs to take things in a different direction.

"I hope you're proud how you would grovel in submission

To feed your own ambition"

So, the sides are established, and this song serves as a battle of ideas. Both characters want their friend to join them, and its notable how they go about doing that.

Glinda falls on aspiration and references a previous song to get her point across.

"You can still be with the wizard

What you've worked and waited for

You can have all you ever wanted"

I feel the need to point out that Glinda wasn't present when Elphaba sang The Wizard and I, and yet she matches the tune and meaning almost perfectly. Elphaba hasn't merely told Glinda her dream, she has shared her dream with her, and confided in her that incredibly vulnerable side of herself.

Elphaba acted so differently in The Wizard and I than in the rest of the story, she was less guarded, and more childish with that naive hope that she holds onto throughout the entirety of the show. That hope just becomes less naive and more relentless.

Elphaba has shared that naivety and hope and whimsicality with Glinda, and it's that relationship that Glinda is calling on now. Remember us, remember our dream.

However, for all Glinda's canniness and understanding of the world, she doesn't understand people, and she doesn't understand Elphaba.

Elphaba wanted to meet the wizard for a reason. She had a motive behind her dream that superseded the specifics of how it would play out.

"But I don't want it

No, I can't want it anymore"

Notice the vernacular that Elphaba uses. She can't want to be with the wizard. In her mind, doing the right thing isn't a choice. To Elphaba, good is a force that has pushed her to where she is right now, and forced her to sing this song.

Essentially, Elphaba is a paragon hero and is actively unmaking the grey morality of the setting. Often in media, "realism" is shorthand for everyone being either selfish or misunderstood. It's a pessimistic worldview of life that I don't entirely agree with.

That does happen in real life, don't get me wrong. The vast majority of the world is made up of people who are capable of actions that are good, bad, or neither.

But there are people out there who are truly cruel and evil, trust me, I've met some of them. But I've also met their opposite, people who are kind and compassionate and do what they think is right because to them, there isn't another option.

Elphaba is that second type of person, and the musical has got its audience to take this for granted at this point. But it's worth remembering that this character is the Wicked Witch of the West, the cartoon bad guy of an iconic work of literature. The musical hasn't made her more morally nuanced; it has made the world more nuanced, and that has reframed this character entirely.

The song even reminds the audience of this fact through the ensemble, just to make the juxtaposition more obvious.

"Look at her! She's wicked, get her.

No one mourns the wicked! So we've got to bring her

Down"

This is actually foreshadowing for a later song.

Back to this part, the backing of the song has spent the majority of its run time playing elaborate movements, but for Galinda and Elphaba's talk about dreams, it simplifies. Galinda gets a bare trickle of that floaty harmony, but Elphaba gets next to nothing for her line. Mostly.

This, combined with the slowing down effect brought on by the fermata (the symbol that looks like an eye), gives the conversation an intimate tone. The two have just each other to hear, and nothing to get in the way. It also frames Elphaba's line as reassurance. There is a storm coming and she is telling her girlfriend that things are going to work out ok in the end.

However, the big chords come back in on the "anymore" and lead into the key change that covers the rest of the song. This is a metaphor for the change that is happening in Elphaba's mind. As she makes her decision on how to proceed, and recognises that things are now different, the slow build up to this song's finale is finally got underway.

The rest of this song is just a build up to a final crash of sound. It rises in a few beats with the choruses, as Elphaba tests her wings, so to speak. And the song gains momentum slowly as more instruments are added.

If you thought I wasn't going to at least reference Glee's multiple performances of this song and how in that series, Defying Gravity is explicitly synonymous with queerness and pride, welcome to the blog. I make analysis posts, maybe stick around if you like this kind of thing.

"Too late for second guessing,

too late to go back to sleep"

There are two separate ideas being intertwined here. First up is the reiteration of Elphaba's inability to stop. Once again, she is doing the right thing because someone has to do it, and soon it will be too late. But the duality of this phase links that idea with the revelation about Oz. She can't go back to sleep, she can't go back to ignorance. Now that she knows what she knows, she has to act.

"Too long I've been afraid of

Losing love I guess I've lost.

Well, if that's love, it comes at much too high a cost."

This isn't particularly complex storytelling, but it's effective none the less. Elphaba is saying her realisations out loud to keep the audience up to speed. In this instance, she has been chasing acceptance, and now understands that she was never going to get it from Oz, and that what she would have to do to obtain a facade of understanding is not worth it.

The fact that my analysis of that phrase is just saying it again but slightly differently is a pretty good example of how effective the storytelling in the line is.

"I'd sooner buy defying gravity

Kiss me goodbye, I'm defying gravity

And you can't pull me down"

The first chorus of this song is remarkably understated. It doesn't have the confidence of latter verses, and I will discuss why I think that is in a moment. The orchestra pulls back to a few instruments, and the drum plays a light rhythm on one of its... ok I my musical knowledge is a bit limited here. The bit of the drum that goes "tss tss tss", you know the one.

This gives it a light feeling that adds to the unsteady feeling of the chorus as Elphaba tests the waters and learns to fly. But she needs guidance, and support, and who does she turn to for that?

"Glinda, come with me."

This is the first time Elphaba has been thinking on the spot. Usually, she thinks everything through before she says it, but now she is running entirely on a single train of thought. I cannot stress enough how this thought process is literally: "love, kiss goodbye, Glinda". Historians will say they were close friends.

A leitmotif is a recurring musical phrase that represents a certain theme. For example, earlier in the musical, Galinda's "you deserve each other" musical phrase was repeated to show false relationships and false promises, and was also used in The Wizard and I to foreshadow the false promise of the Wizard and his gifts.

The Unlimited Leitmotif is used exclusively to symbolise Elphaba and Glinda's relationship. You can read that as platonic if you want, but there are some context clues that I would argue suggest otherwise. For example, it's called the "Unlimited" leitmotif for a reason.

As I have kept harping on about, the most valuable thing a person can achieve in this musical is freedom. This is a song about defying the laws of physics themselves. And the thing that Elphaba is offering Glinda here, the thing that is so defining for their relationship that it is literally the shorthand for it, is complete and total freedom.

Together, the two are unlimited.

The second chorus is sung together. Glinda gives Elphaba the strength of spirit to continue and is quite literally the reason she can fly in the first place.

But Glinda doesn't want that. She wants to feel in control of herself more than autonomy, and that's why the relationship falls apart. The two are doomed lovers, and it's not because one of them lies or cheats or any of that soap opera nonsense, but because they want different things out of life.

"Well, are you coming?"

"I hope you're happy

Now that you're choosing this"

"You, too

I hope it brings you bliss"

All in all, I think this breakup goes remarkably well. The two realise that their lives are taking each of them in a direction that the other cannot follow, and so they offer their goodbyes peacefully and get ready for the finale of this act.

Glinda even gives Elphaba a cloak to protect her from the elements as a final goodbye gift. Which, if you are keeping track, means that both the hat and the cloak, the Wicked Witch's most iconic visual elements besides her skin, were gifts from a very close friend.

I don't need to explain why the final chorus of this song is so good, do I? The music is phenomenal, the vocal performance is unrivaled, and it outright says half of the points I have been trying to make in this post.

I do think that the sheer skill on display here is important for the theming as well. Yes, the high note symbolises the flight and escape, yes it's synonymous with rising above petty grievances, and yes the rising is literally a reverse Deus Ex Machina. But it's also just the actress who plays Elphaba showing off and having a blast. There are no limits on her vocal performance, she doesn't have to rein in anything, and she can instead belt out a number as loud and powerfully as she wants because nobody is stopping her.

"As someone told me lately,

Everyone deserves a chance to fly"

This is a reference to something that the Wizard said to Elphaba, but when he said it, he was completely talking out of his arse. The Wizard, and a significant portion of Oz as a whole, parade around saying nebulously benevolent things, but they don't actually mean it. The Wizard has created a nation based around surveillance and oppression, there is no way that he believes in everyone getting a fair go.

The important thing to understand is that the Wizard's worldview is wrong. Everyone does deserve fairness. So his lie to appease Elphaba was in fact true. Elphaba's role in this is making that lie into a reality, by giving the people someone who will say things honestly and try to actually make the world a better place.

Finally, however, as the lights prepare to shut off and Elphaba rises into the distance. Glinda stands beneath her, looking up. She is now just another face in the crowd, but her sentiment stands in stark contrast to the rest of Oz.

Simultaneously, Glinda says goodbye, and wishes Elphaba good luck on the road ahead.

"I hope you're happy."

Final Thoughts

It needs to be understood that part of why Defying Gravity stands beside historical giants like Don't Cry For Me Argentina is the fact that it is fantastical.

Wicked is a musical about the relentlessness of hope. It is set in a world where anything is possible, and it brings that to life. Through the application of some truly impressive stagecraft, the actress who plays Elphaba genuinely flies for all to see.

This is a story that takes the impossible and makes it possible, and this is the song which cemented that theme in the minds of anyone who watched it. This song fully deserves its place as my second favourite in this musical.

That's right, my favourite is yet to come, and I'm enjoying watching y'all guess at what it is in the replies.

Next week, I will be looking at Thank Goodness and how it sets up the plot of the second act. So, stick around if that interests you.

Previous - Next

#rants #literary analysis #literature analysis #what's so special about...? #character analysis #wicked wizard of oz #wicked #wicked musical #wicked the musical #defying gravity #lgbtq #lgbtqia #lgbtq community #queer community #wicked is a queer story #gelphie #galinda upland #elphaba thropp #seriously guys Gelphie is such an awful ship name #musical analysis #musicals #musical theater #broadway musicals #musical theatre #elphaba #glinda #if anyone has technical musical knowledge please share your thoughts on this song. Please

[ultrainfinitepit]

hi! i hope you dont mind me asking a question about the pin manufacturing process as i know you are not personally involved in the actual physical production of your pins, but i was wondering if you knew why rainbow plated pins are always (or at the very least near always) soft enamel? is there something in the iodizing process that renders them incompatible with the way hard enamel is put in the pin frame? what makes epoxy different that allows it to be used? no worries at all if you can't answer, i was just curious :]

Hi there Anon, no worries, I love talking about pin stuff and I'd be happy to explain.

Pin manufacturing basically has two major components: enamel fill and metal plating. The order in which these take place is different depending on the type of enamel: hard or soft.

All pins start out as metal "pin blanks" or "embryos", without enamel or plating.

In hard enamel pins, the pins are overfilled with enamel and then polished down to a smooth surface. Below is an example of an in-progress hard enamel pin, notice how the enamel is spilling over in some places. After the enamel is polished the pin is plated, only certain plating options are available that would not affect the enamel.

In soft enamel pins, the plating comes first and then the enamel fill. Soft enamel pins are never polished so more plating options are available, such as anodized and dyed metal. Dyed metal is actually just paint that is sprayed onto the metal pin blanks: so you can imagine it would come off if the pin was polished, and could not be applied after the enamel is filled in.

The tradeoff is, because the enamel is never polished, soft enamel pins do not have a smooth surface. In the below image, the first two pins are hard enamel, and the third pin is soft enamel with rainbow (anodized) plating.

I prefer a smooth finish on my pins, I think it makes them feel more high quality. So what is a pin maker to do? Well after the enamel and plating is done, we can add a layer of epoxy over the surface of the soft enamel pin to give it that smooth finish.

In the below image, the gray pin is hard enamel and the indigo pin is soft enamel with epoxy.

So basically: hard enamel pins get enamel, polishing, then plating. While soft enamel pins get plating, enamel, and then optionally epoxy.

One last important difference I'll mention is cost, for anyone who is looking into making pins. Hard enamel pins are more expensive to make because of the polishing step. Soft enamel pins without epoxy are cheaper, but if you add epoxy the cost can be about the same as hard enamel because of the additional work needed.

Anodized plating can easily triple the cost of a pin because the materials are expensive, and they have a higher plating flaw rate, requiring the factory to make extras.

If you let me I'll easily continue talking about pin manufacturing, but I'll stop here for now ahahaha - hope that answers your question Anon!

For more details and videos, you can find a great article by WizardPins.

#pin manufacturing #pin making #ask

[soracities]

brief primer for the hopeless days, pt. IV

"I felt I should embrace him and tell him not to suffer; that he wasn't alone, that I was his friend and we were living on the same planet, at the same time, in the same country; that now the two of us were in the same park, on the same bench; that human beings should talk to each other, be aware of each other, and love each other; that each man who passes by offers us the chance for companionship and warmth."

Josefina Vicens, The Empty Book (tr. David Lauer)

[James Baldwin & Friends, Istanbul. ph. Sedat Pakay]

"On love: always the great gestures, or that it is incompatible with ambition and individuality. Rarely the small gestures, rarely that these make the other accomplishments possible. A work in progress. A chain of kindnesses fashioned a link at a time. Clumsy effort, but effort nonetheless."

Katie Ward, Girl Reading

Paul Eluard, “Gabriel Péri” tr. Gilbert Brown

[Two old men hand in hand rush for taking place for prayer time in the Yeni Cami mosque in Istanbul. ph. Marco Vacca]

"We find comfort only in another beauty, in others' music, in the poetry of others. Salvation lies with others, though solitude may taste like opium. Other people aren't hell if you glimpse them at dawn, when their brows are clean, rinsed by dreams."

Adam Zagajewski, “Another Beauty”, tr. Clare Cavanagh

"We are sun and moon, dear friend; we are sea and land. It is not our purpose to become each other; it is to recognize each other, to learn to see the other and honor him for what he is: each the other’s opposite and complement."

Hermann Hesse, Narcissus & Goldmund

"Down the road there is an old man who sits in a chair under the porch of his front door to enjoy the sun. He is very old. In fact, he is dying. And because I know this, every time I pass him I pass the time of day with him. I tell him he is getting brown in the sun. Or he asks me about the price of the vegetables in my shopping bag – once he lived in the country – and I answer him at length and with great warmth. Why do I do this? It is a natural reaction. Soon he will die [and] I want him between now and then, and perhaps even at the moment of dying, to have good thoughts, not of me personally, but of the living, of the world he leaves. I want to give him reason for thinking the best possible thoughts."

John Berger, A Painter of Our Time

[waves of handprints dating between 7,300 BC & 700 AD, Cueva de las Manos (Cave of Hands), Santa Cruz, Argentina. ph. Pablo A. Gimenez]

“Something strange happens when people are in a small boat, something that rarely happens with people in a car or an elevator, in a train or even a boat large enough to say that you are on it instead of in it. What they experience is the sense of solitude. There are only a few thin boards keeping them from being totally engulfed by the surrounding deep sea. They are lonely, but it’s not an isolated loneliness, because they feel lonesome together, together with others in the boat. This is why a temporary bond forms between people in a small boat. They only have each other, the deep sea is frightening, and small boats are very fragile. Therefore, each one of them becomes the other’s lifebuoy. If you’re not afraid, then neither am I, so we shouldn’t scare each other, and we ought to be nice to each other as long as the water surrounds us.”

Stig Dagerman, A Moth to a Flame (Burnt Child), tr. Benjamin Mier-Cruz

["The Ride Home", submitted by slyburger13 r/AccidentalRenaissance]

"I tried to focus on something small, the smallest thing I could think of. Someone once made this pew I’m sitting on, I thought. Someone sanded the wood and varnished it. Someone carried it into the church. Someone laid the tiles on the floor, someone fitted the windows. Each brick was placed by human hands, each hinge fitted on each door, every road surface outside, every bulb in every streetlight. And even things built by machines were really built by human beings, who built the machines initially. And human beings themselves, made by other humans, struggling to create happy children and families. Me, all the clothing I wear, all the language I know. Who put me here in this church, thinking these thoughts? Other people, some I know very well and others I have never met. Am I myself, or am I them? Is this me, Frances? No, it is not me. It is the others. Do I sometimes hurt and harm myself, do I abuse the unearned cultural privilege of whiteness, do I take the labor of others for granted, have I sometimes exploited a reductive iteration of gender theory to avoid serious moral engagement, do I have a troubled relationship with my body, yes. Do I want to be free of pain and therefore demand that others also live free of pain, the pain that is mine and therefore also theirs, yes, yes.”

Sally Rooney, Conversations With Friends

[”Pale Blue Dot”: photo of Earth taken by the Voyager 1 space probe]

[anonymous, Jan. 15, 2022]

Alain de Botton, Essays in Love

"A single stranger sleeps next to me and I feel like a whole crowd has come in with him. He hasn’t said anything to me, I haven’t said anything to him, but I feel I have nothing else to say to him, nor to hide from him."

Mihail Sebastian, For Two Thousand Years (tr. Philip Ó Ceallaigh)

[tiktok @ shanrizwan]

Michael Onyebuchi Eze, Intellectual History in Contemporary South Africa

[”A full bottle of wine just rolled out from under a subway seat and now these 2 strangers popped it open & are drinking it. This is peak NYC”, ph. Colleen Hagerty]

"Nobody can claim that humanity is in the process of decay without having observed the same putrid symptoms in himself. Nobody can say that humanity is evil without he himself having been part of evil deeds. There is no such thing as unshackled observation. He who lives is the life-long prisoner of humanity and contributes, willingly or unwillingly, to an increase or decrease of the human inventory of happiness and misfortune, greatness and humiliation, hope and despondence […] the fate of humanity is at stake everywhere and at all times, and the responsibility of one life for another is immeasurable."

Stig Dagerman, "Do We Have Faith in Humankind?"

#feeling....things and things and things #compilation #a brief primer for the hopeless days #without tenderness we are in hell #m #x

[nanomooselet]

Little but Fierce VIII

Knives is totally dismissive of Meryl. He acknowledges she exists all of three times.

Once in Vash's memories, to delete her from them; once as he's piercing the Core, to call her a parasite and dismiss her attempts to get Vash to wake up; and once to try and violently kill her because... she succeeded in waking Vash up.

Whoops.

I listed all those statements that Knives claimed to be the truth; now here's everything that I believe proves them false.

Vash is pretty, but he's useless without his brother.

Vash does not need his brother. He loves him - of course he does. He wants to save him. But he's never needed him. Rem was the one he relied on for support, and after her death, Vash was too afraid of Nai to give him that kind of trust. He's spent decades surviving away from him, something Knives simply will not acknowledge. He tries to remove Vash's autonomy because as long as he has it, Vash is at risk of abandoning him again, just as Rem did.

Remember that once Knives initiated the memory retrieval process, Dr. Conrad warned Meryl that breaking that connection would kill Vash? Knives made Vash need him, made him dependent. That's his idea of making Vash perfect.

He's a powerless, weak, pathetically naïve, blubberingly sentimental little baby who doesn't care about the Plants, too busy enabling humanity's abuse via performing his cringing, grasping abasement before them to notice how his brethren suffer.

Knives developed his powers first. But Vash's powers are greater. He can do everything a normal Plant can do; he can also do much more, and he's such a wonderful, kind and compassionate man, with amazing reserves of emotional strength. Knives wouldn't have had to try and subjugate him otherwise.

Vash personally talks to the Plants, cares for them, soothes their pain. And he's been doing that not just to help them, but to help the humans panicking because if the Plants died, so too would they. He spent years travelling between crash sites helping Plants and teaching humans to take care of them, assuming an authoritative role even as a little boy, and if he hadn't figured out he could do that, he would almost certainly have killed himself. Remember he finally made the choice to live in order to save a dying Plant, not a human - dying because the environment was incompatible. You know, because they'd all been crashed on a desert planet. Certainly many Plants are still suffering. Because Vash is the only one doing this. He can't rest or delegate. It has to be him alone; it all depends upon him.

And Knives has been too busy playing his stupid piano to take any notice. And having other people do things for him. Oh, and making it damn near impossible for Vash to do what he does, partly because Vash has been convinced he bears all the responsibility and accepts the punishment himself. It's incredible he's held up even as well as he has.

If Knives is even aware Vash can heal Plants, he likely wouldn't care, because he views Plants in dependent form as imperfect, the same way he has contempt for Vash's fondness for eating. When Vash tried to talk to him about the needs of the other Plants based on his own direct experience, Knives didn't just shut him down by calling what Rem said a lie, he started mocking Vash's grief over her death, complaining that she inconvenienced him. He isn't interested in an alternative. His is the only way. It always has to be his way; that's been reflected in all his abuse.

Knives himself is the more powerful (and much less human-like) of the twins; the strongest and most righteous activist for necessary change now that, sadly despite all good faith attempts at communication, non-violent solutions have failed.

Remember Zazie, Elendira and Vash himself all have said don't judge by appearances. Yeah, Knives's colouration makes him look a bit more like the dependents than Vash does. That doesn't mean he's less human.

When he first started using his chosen name, Knives was doing nothing to help his brethren in the wake of the Fall. All he did was retaliate against humans and obsess over Vash. He bet everything on being able to carry out his plans using his brother's power. He didn't bother to communicate with any human other than Dr. Conrad. Seriously, count how many humans he addresses directly in the series. The total shrinks to one if you leave out those he doesn't immediately try to kill.

As for the "less human-like" part...

Dr. Conrad and Knives believe a soul is what gives a Plant free will, makes an Independent. Knives is referred to as an angel, and as perfect.

But angels don't have souls, so much as they are souls - they're beings of spirit, not matter. Humans are the ones who have both souls and material bodies. The dependents are in their tanks because their bodies can't survive outside of them. What makes Vash and Knives what they are isn't a soul. It's their humanity.

Thus I simply can't take the idea that Knives is "perfect" at face value. I stand by the assertion that Knives, in defining all humanity as selfish and greedy parasites, inadvertently exposes how human he is himself.

He truly has only the best and most altruistic intentions: the freedom of his people, and the happiness of his brother.

Look at what he did to Vash. The only other member of his kind he knows to be a person, and he chained and silenced him. Look at how often Knives is around dying Plants, dying because of the situation he forced them into. Do you believe it?

I don't. I find no truth in his words. I can count on one hand the moments I think he's being honest about anything. And I'd like this to be kept in mind as I continue.

I said before that the series seems mostly to take on Knives's point of view, and it's worth also keeping that in mind - especially when you remember the Punisher was Knives's chosen, custom-tailored agent. A gift. He was the one Knives obviously expected would become Vash's chief emotional support; all the better to kick it out from under him. After all, his brother is the one Vash truly loves; the brother who is a weapon, a punisher of human sin, who's done all he's done for his family. Who better to bring Vash home than an imperfect replacement, reminding him of what it was in his life that's been absent for so long? His human inadequacy would add strength to Knives's argument. And so focus goes to Wolfwood, showing how being forced to take on this role has made him suffer. He is, literally, pivotal; his backstory and conflict is revealed and resolved in 6/7, the midpoint of the series.

Naturally, it just demonstrates all the ways Wolfwood isn't like Knives, and that Vash never needed his help. Wolfwood is the one saved by Vash, not the other way round.

So… because Knives was so focused on Wolfwood and what he would mean to Vash, he never once thought Meryl mattered, not to Vash and not to the Plants and not to the world at large. She's a parasite, nothing more. There's no way some silly officious little womanchild with no weapons or powers could mean anything.

Right up until the moment she did, and he promotes her instantly, all the way from insignificant to tango primary.

Meryl in his mind goes from insect he can't be bothered to swat to an ideological threat on the level of Rem Saverem, and he starts shrieking denials that she's beaten him. And remember that I said you should believe the opposite of whatever he says?

She has.

Because she loves Vash. (Platonic or romantic as usual doesn't matter.) She's chosen to follow him even to the edge of reality. Though she found Vash frustrating, she didn't try to change him, nor does she need or want anything from him. She saw how much strength he had, what he could do if someone just had faith. When Vash declares I won't stop until they believe in me, he can draw hope from the assurance that Meryl already does. And unlike Rem, Luida, Rosa - Knives can't do jack-shit about it.

And Vash, in turn, has deep appreciation for her support. She tied him up all the way back in ep 1 - which I called "laying a claim" - and here Vash reciprocates, binding them together. She's lent him her agency, her independence, and she didn't have to resort to anything like the grotesque extremes Knives did. It required no more or less from her than unyielding love - an ordinary human's love. Just like Rem. Thank you, Meryl. I heard her voice through you.

Her love is rooted in seeking and embracing the hard truth rather than shoring up a comforting lie. When Vash starts to break free of Knives's illusion, it's by holding to the truth - it was Rem who promised to protect him, not Nai. Nai isn't an innocent little boy anymore but monster of metal chains and blades, something Vash has every reason to run from. Rem loves Vash no matter what's been done to him, and Knives cannot kill her as long as she remains alive in him. Knives is too frightened to face the truth, regards it with so much terror he tries to flee back into the ignorance of the childhood before he learned it. In contrast, Meryl's courage and conviction, her dedication to seeking and spreading truth, is so strong in her they steel that which is within those surrounding her; Roberto, Wolfwood, even in Vash. She may be small, but her power is sufficient.

Never ever overlook Meryl motherfucking Stryfe. That's a mistake so great it can see a man go from the threshold of victory to on fire.

And I'm still not done talking about her. One more instalment.

Part I

Part II

Part III

Part IV

Part V

Part VI

Part VII

Part IX

#trigun stampede #tristampparty #trigun meta #meryl stryfe #millions knives #meta: little but fierce #tw sui ideation #computer still being fsssjhfa dumb #why must i have no money for repair

[happyk44]

Stayed up until 3:30 envisioning my daughter of Zeus OC from childhood that I crafted into an original original character having a nervous breakdown because the sky is loveless and law is loveless and order is loveless and at some point the love she has in her heart won't be enough

"the ocean is a possessive bastard that never wants you to leave, and the earth loves you so much it provides so you can live, and the dead are coated in love from grief, and homes are where love first sprouted, the warmth of the fire, and what is the core of family and marriage if not the love between people, but the sky?

the sky doesn't love you. you jump and it doesn't catch you, it will watch you plummet to the ground. the higher up you go, the harder it is to breathe. the sky does not want you, it does not love you. and the law does not love you. it doesn't care about you, who you are, how you are, the why's behind the rule you broke. it will structure itself how it sees fit, based on its own feelings of what is and isn't correct, and it will throw you away for the slightest infraction. it will kill you for not acting the way it demands.

and I am the daughter of the sky, I am the daughter of law. at some point love won't be enough to stop me from executing every person who so much as breathes wrong. my love is superficial. it is not authentic, it is not genuine, it is a thin, thin blanket covering my cold empty heart and I will not get to the point where it is ripped away! I will not be my mother, and I will not be my father! I REFUSE!

so please just let me die"

Naturally I tried to figure out how to sculpt this into a Jason monologue because who gives a shit about OCs, esp ones they've never heard of, lol, but it was 3:30 and I needed to sleep, and I was like meh it's not possibly for jaybird anyway, he's got that wolf in him

But Jason has also been continuously abandoned by every family he's ever had - his mom, the wolves, camp jupiter when they didn't go looking for him, leo and piper, probably more and so on, and I HC to be suicidal and actively self-harm himself

and you know what, I think it would be neat if everyone was like "Jason, you don't have time for friends, you need to learn to be a leader, you need to focus on training, blah blah blah" and he's desperate to see if he can have both and somehow someway he summons dead siblings to ask advice from or maybe he prays for advice and receives a dream from my stressed out baby girl who's basically like "I had so much love in my heart, it was slowly killing me every single day because my rules were small and stupid but they mattered so fucking much and people broke them all the tim and the intense need I felt to hurt them as punishment for their wrongdoings made me want to kill myself and the only reason I couldn't is because my friends kept catching me. don't befriend a child of Pluto or Mors, they're annoyingly adept and weirdly stubborn about you dying when they don't want you to"

ofc Jason is desperate. He wants people, he wants community. But she just shakes her head. "you're the oldest child of Jupiter here. You're the only child of Jupiter here. You have no choice. I was the youngest of my siblings. If I were in line to be praetor, if I were in line to be charge of my cohort, I would've tried so much harder to die because love and leadership are incompatible for us. Maybe it works out for other people, but not for us.

Abandon your affections, Jason. Crave friendship but never seek it out. It will hurt you less when it comes time to discipline those who break the rules. You are a tornado waiting to happen, you are a lightning storm. Your discipline will not be gentle and it will not be light. Do you want to be feared by those you love?"

and he shakes his head, wishing he was a softer person, one who shocked rather than electrocuted, one who didn't bear their teeth, and played with the breeze instead of manifesting gale.

"then love no one. because the fear will come no matter what, but love? that's what you have to work for. and it has no place with us"

#jason grace #happy talks pjo #okay im going back to sleep. woke up to feed cats take meds and write this out. bye

[willowcrowned]

Luke, leia, incomprehension and incompatibility

[send me a prompt!]

"He needs to die," Leia says. She can see the black carcass of him in the distance, on the outskirts of the Ewok village—a smoking ruin that just keeps living and living and living.

Luke looks at her, too noble and too sad. "He's our father."

(Luke's her dream knight, Leia thinks. Exactly the boy she'd imagined when she was seven, eight, nine—there to whisk her away from Alderaan on adventures. Full of good, and justice, with big blue eyes like the desert sky.

Leia hasn't been on Alderaan in a long, long time.)

She doesn't say anything back—not about fathers, not when she had one, when he was perfect, and terrible, and she loved him so much it hurt and he loved her back just as much.

"He's a war criminal," she says instead. She doesn't look at Luke, focuses on the skyline instead, where the smoke of the fires rises into the trees. "Or he will be, anyways, when we can get a real tribunal together. If we don't execute him, we set a precedent."

Luke puts one hand over hers. She looks down. Her knuckles are white from gripping the rope railing.

"That's not why you think he should die." Luke's voice is soft, barely louder than the breeze stirring around them. Her head echoes with it, too loud to escape.

"No," she says, because she refuses to be a coward. The word falls out of her mouth like steel. "No, it's not."

She can feel her shoulders collapsing inwards, her chest folding in on itself like a dying star. I want my dad back, she thinks. I want my dad.

She can feel Luke's chest against her shoulder, then. His arms around her.

"It won't bring him back." Luke's voice isn't even a whisper anymore. It's just in her head, like a gong. A bell tolling a death march.

"I know," she snarls, ripping herself out of his arms—and that's out loud, that's tearing into the air around her and burning tear tracks down her cheeks.

Leia stares at the ground far below her, hovering above it for one long moment, balanced against the rope. Then she pulls back, turning her back to the blackness of the forest floor.

Luke is crying. She's never seen him cry before.

It's silent, with large rolling tears as big as dewdrops in Iridonian pitcher-plants. In the moonlight, they shine clear, then fall off his face into the void below.

"He's my father," Luke doesn't say at all. In her head, his voice is clear, steady. And afraid. "Please," he says. "He's my father."

Leia presses her lips together, digging her nails into her palm so hard that she can feel bloody crescent-moons forming.

Go, she says. The night is silent around them. The word rings clear between them. They are the only ones that hear it. Take him, and go.

#fun fact i did make myself cry with this one #anyways. fathers in star wars. you get it #prompt game responses #luke and leia #luke skywalker #leia organa #anon #star wars

[sirfrogsworth]

do you like going on hikes?

Honestly, no.

Even if it wouldn't cause post-exertional malaise, I am just not an outdoor person.

I never have been.

I love walking somewhere if I can get a cool photograph from it. But hiking just to hike has never really interested me. And while I think nature is beautiful and I love taking pictures of it, I very much dislike being in nature. No temperature control, bugs, predators, etc.

But mostly it is incompatible with my CFS, so it isn't really an option anyway.

My dislike of being in nature goes back a long way. In high school I signed up for a weekend Civil War reenactment to get extra credit in my history class. It was basically camping disguised as historical LARPing.

They tried to make it as authentic as possible. All of the food and cooking was period-accurate. Meaning we got mushy beans for dinner and mushy eggs for breakfast. We had to sleep in period-accurate tents with no sleeping bags. So that was cold and uncomfortable. And they didn't really plan a lot of activities, so there was a lot of downtime where 15-year-olds tried to relate to men in their 50s mostly trying to escape their families for a weekend. Some surprising and awkward oversharing ensued.

When we arrived they immediately made us change into ill-fitting, itchy uniforms including period-accurate shoes we had to borrow from the dudes running it all.

The thing is, I have always had big boy feet. Even at 15 years old I was wearing a size 12 wide. They didn't have any shoes wide enough to fit me, yet they insisted I not wear my tennis shoes.

"Ulysses S. Grant didn't have Reeboks, boy!"

So I squeezed my feet into a pair of non-wide 11s and walked around in them all weekend.

That was a mistake.

The big finale of the event was a simulated battle—which I was originally very much looking forward to. It was the entire reason I signed up. We would get to play with muskets and fire blanks at middle-aged Confederate cosplayers.

I mean, who doesn't love shooting fake racists with imaginary bullets?

But by the time of the battle my feet were on fire with pain.

I could barely stand.

Reenactments typically work on the honor system. If you see someone shoot in your general direction, you are supposed to pretend to get shot and fall to the ground. These guys took that rule very seriously. We even had to practice dying the day before during our musket training.

So we all lined up on either side of a giant field surrounded by the forest. We were instructed to prepare our weapons. Our commander shouted orders for us to get in formation. One of them even had a horse and a proper calvary sword. A trumpet sounded. Suddenly this glorified camping trip turned into something legit. Everything had been so halfassed up until this point and I wasn't expecting a scene with the production value of Glory to materialize.

Things got very silent and all you could hear were leaves rustling nearby. I'm pretty sure they were building suspense to impress all of us youngins.

And with an enthusiastic shout, our pretend commanders initiated the battle.

I heard the very first gunshot.

I grabbed my chest.

I dramatically screamed out in pain.

I fell to the ground.

I died.

All in all, I was a Union soldier for roughly 8 seconds.

Technically... I did not see anyone shoot me. I violated the most sacred reenactor code. But I think the honor system was more concerned with people pretending they *didn't* get shot, so I figured it would be okay.

So I just lied in a cold damp field, slipped off my shoes, and let out a huge sigh of relief as my feet expanded back to their normal size. All while a mixture of high school students and unhappily married 50-year-old men pretended to kill each other around me.

(Artist's rendering of me playing dead)

When I finally got home my feet were covered in giant blisters. My mom had to cut my socks off because it was too painful otherwise. I had to stay home from school for two days because I couldn't fit my feet in my shoes without screaming. Eventually those suckers all popped and that was very gross but also immensely satisfying.

And I happily avoided nature ever since.

[insteading]

Inspired by blakbonnet gifset from s2e2.

I've been thinking about how the showrunners decided Breakdown-Era Ed would be so hot. OFMD has things it is Looney Tunes about-- physics, abdominal anatomy, the historical record, the value of gaydar as a navigational device across large spans of ocean. But as many people have pointed out, it's pretty emotionally realistic, to the point where the fights Ed and Stede have are recognizable to many of us.

I don't know about you, but I find that crying all night on the floor results in blotchy skin, red eyes, a generally puffy face, a wicked dehydration headache, and a hoarse and adenoidal voice. The magic of fiction rescues Ed from some of that. But also: "I want my corpse to look fantastic" is absolutely a thought Ed would have at this point in his trajectory (and I think is one signal of how ambivalent he feels about dying). His depression hasn't blunted his emotions and convinced him that nothing matters: feeling abandoned still matters a great deal, even as he's starting to abandon the hope that he'll feel better some day. And he still cares about how other people perceive him-- which is frankly essential if he's going to goad crewmates into mutiny against him.

I've seen some great metas about how Ed wants someone to care enough about him to kill him-- or how he really wants to be talked out of wanting to die. Both those takes are even more plausible to me having watched season 2 in its entirety! In s2e6 Ed tells Ned Lowe "I don't respect you enough to kill you: you're not worth the poison." Ed thinks of killing as something that inextricably and intimately links two people. And at the beginning of s2e7 Ed credits the vision of mer!Stede with saving his life-- though I fully endorse the idea that Ed conjured mer!Stede up because of the persistent hope Ed so admires in Stede. Just as Ed's internal Hornigold pushes him off a cliff, Ed's internal Stede reminds him that he is capable of feeling something other than pain, and that there is reason to hope his life will not always look as bleak as it has been recently.

In this moment, though, before Ed comes up for air and life begins again, Ed goes to Izzy with a loaded gun. Why Izzy and not Fang or Archie? I think Ed sees Izzy as the QAR crew member with both the most reason to kill him and the most reason to talk him out of wanting to die, due to a combination of toxic masculinity and what I see as frustrated romantic obsession. In the "Izzy probably cares enough to kill me" column:

s1e10: Izzy threatens mutiny: "I serve Blackbeard, not Edward. Edward had better watch his fucking step."

s2e1: Izzy blames the "fucked" atmosphere aboard the QAR on Ed's "feelings for Stede Bonnet." Ed hasn't talked about those feelings because that's not the relationship he has with this crew. From Ed's perspective, Izzy is publicly calling him out for not having rid himself of those feelings. Which means somehow Ed hasn't watched his fucking step enough, despite throwing himself into raiding. Izzy's threat from the end of s1 still echoes.

s2e2: Izzy's gunshot wound has gone septic. Even if he survives having had his leg removed? Izzy lashed out at Ed at the end of s1 for being soft. He's got a very calvinist understanding of where human worth comes from, not just incompatible with a disability rights framework but also incompatible with accommodation and support from the crew. All Izzy's emotions convert to anger.

In the "Izzy might try to convince me not to die" column:

s1e10: The torture scene in s2e6 established in canon something that many viewers intuited at the end of season 1, when Ed lashed out and choked Izzy, and then again when he fed Izzy a toe: Izzy finds pain arousing. Izzy manifestly gets some satisfaction out of Blackbeard's attention even-- and maybe especially-- when the terms of that attention are painful for him. (It doesn't seem to matter to Izzy whether Ed enjoys causing him pain or whether the dynamic between them compounds Ed's suffering.)

s2e1: Izzy told Ed-- in a voice that made it absolutely clear how much he resented saying it-- "I have had ... love for you."

I think Ed's presentation in most of s2e2 sets up the scene where Ed hands Izzy the gun and plays on both his anger and his love. The Ed of "Red Flags" is simultaneously Peak Outrageous and Peak Hot, and that's why many of us reacted to the stills the studio released from this episode with variations on "s/he's so gender," long before we knew the context in which those stills would appear. Ed's wearing the leather that's his longtime crew's shared signature, calling to mind the history he shares with Izzy. But he's also wearing the pearls and the dangly sword earring, and he's got soft strands of hair framing his face that an early 2000s sorority girl would envy. And, well, we know that a silk gown to Izzy is like a Red Flag to a bull: he seems to find femme touches in menswear infuriating.

Seriously bbg, wild to say to someone who's romantically obsessed with you that *anything* they did in your dream last night was good for you, even if it was murder.

Ultimately, Izzy refuses both to kill Ed and to talk him out of dying. He acts neither on his femmephobia nor on his need for Blackbeard to stay around and satisfy some fraction of his obsession. "Clean up your own mess," from the person on the QAR who both loves and hates Ed the most, must sound to him like "You're not worth the poison." And coming from someone whose tolerance for poison is astonishingly high? Ouch.

#tw: suicidality #this was going to be a novel in the tags so i made a post instead #i find it easier to buy buttons turning into a bird than s2e6 izzy wanting to try drag makeup #but that is another post #also if just one person on this ship asked candidly for what they want life aboard would be more pleasant / tho prob less good tv #also ed doesn't have to return izzy's feelings in order to intuit them #if knowing someone's worst fear means you own them / what of knowing someone's desires? #is this manipulative? maybe? but people in extremis do extreme things #edward teach #izzy #ofmd meta #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd s2e2