#because taylor has ruined my life after releasing this song

[munamania]

ok um i am going to vent on something as someone with an outside perspective and people are going to be normal about that right. okay lol. im sick of hearing about taylor swift <3 as compared to a few years ago even she is like... suffocating. and i feel like we never advance this conversation because on one hand we have people who swing into full misogyny when talking about her, and on the other we have people who won't admit that she blatantly uses feminism to deflect from her problematic behaviors, or at least they won't like, do anything about it, and in this way she sort of ends up misleading a lot of young girls into like. girlboss liberal white feminism. im not saying shes a supervillain for it but you can't deny the ramifications of what she does and doesn't speak up about, just given the absolutely massive platform she has. she is the biggest pop star in the world

for the record, i don't expect taylor to be like. a normal person. she was very famous from a very young age and people aren't normal about teen/adolescent stars, especially when they're girls and women. she had her personal drama aired out in front of the world, had so much misogynistic dialogue surrounding her, from demeaning her success to interrogating her dating life (and never holding the pedos who preyed on her at a young age to any sort of standard!) and for many years people weren't very critical of that. it was normalized to be trashing this young girl's name and saying vile shit about her to like the entire nation and i dont blame her for being like, a little off after that. and yeah i also don’t think we should look to celebrities as our end all be all of activism and opinions on sociopolitical issues

but we've gone full swing into like. she is so famous and so big that her actions can be harmful and she does these things anyway because she doesn't expect her fanbase to hold her accountable, lest they be acting like the very sexists who tried to ruin her career. at least i imagine that's what the thought process is like, at least at some level, but at this point it's just like. this woman makes so much money. so much money it's ridiculous. idk how y'all fathomed paying so much for concert tickets but like i'll give props that they at least seemed to have some insane production/theatrics... so like alright. there's that.

but she is reselling the same songs. sometimes that don't sound that good. and making more money off that. yes yes to 'officially own them' and whatever. and releasing vault tracks and other versions of albums with different songs on them. but never all the same bc u need to collect them all. and the thing is some of them are like kinda bad. but you listen to them anyway because we live in a time of overconsumption/consumerism in late capitalism and it's like trendy and fun to be able to tell what song of hers is playing in the first millisecond. sorry or just your personal attachment to her. and don't say it's embarrassing to be a taylor swift fan these days she's like. so huge. and some of you equate embarrassment with having to hear criticism toward her. which might not be as common if swifties idk stepped it up and actually expected something from her?

which i guess is getting me to my main point here. can you imagine like. what would happen if taylor swift actually said anything about palestine? or anything of value in the world right now? no one's asking her to be a fucking scholar on it but genuinely sorry there’s like a genocide. several. the most documented real time genocide of our time i don’t care if it makes you upset that people expect something from her. she is time's person of the year. she has everyone from young girls to lesbians to gay men to bored football wives to dads to well fucking etc you get the point tuned in. she has dabbled in so many different spaces done so many collaborations aligned herself with so many entities who can keep up? if she, as massive as she is right now, posted something as simple as 'free palestine' or called for a ceasefire, can you imagine what would happen? i can’t help but think about it when day in and day out my feed is filled with screaming people being pulled from rubble or having their limbs amputated.

but she won't, because, quite frankly, what does she have to gain from it? she’s teaming up with the nfl right now to make some more money, she's gotta have at least like 4 new albums recorded in the last two years and at least um what three more that you're expecting? and she doesn't even have to like? write new music really? (edit: oh boy!) why the fuck would she be doing anything with her time other than poisoning the planet with jet fuel to visit her pr boyfriend?

taylor swift is never gonna be punk or what the hell ever beyond like a white liberal-at-best moderate woman. but if any of you could talk to each other and talk about, like, organizing in ways that it would be impossible for her to continue to ignore these situations, and just keep playing her tour FILM (how could i forget) in israel and etc, like if you could flood her socials or do a mass movement (and it would be massive given the sheer amount of peoples' top artists she's in) of not listening/buying/interacting with her stuff, until her agents and whatever had to make some sort of statement? like that's the only chance we've got with her

i'm not saying don’t be her fan, or listen to her music, or have an attachment, etc, but she's been around enough vile, anti-feminist, racist things this past year that y'all DO need to hold her accountable. like way more than you do. or it's going to be like really difficult to. tolerate it. haha. like you SHOULD be vocally and loudly disapproving of her actions when it causes a lot of damage overall. speaking up about her insane climate irresponsibility when we're having the hottest years on record is not the same as the people who felt the need to like pick apart her dating life on the news. but can we talk about how she's officially like. circled back and now is purposefully making news about her dating life? for her personal gain and that of the fucking nfl? lol. in a way it is funny for her to ‘take that power back’ in a way, of her image, and i think that’s how some people might view it, but like on the other hand she obviously is gaining a lot from this. you know. a lot of actual money. she is going to profit off this image of her being misunderstood etc for as long as u guys allow it and well i just think that has run its course. yk

continuing into 2024 (edit: and now with the release of a new album!) i don't want to see swifties automatically exonerating themselves from difficult conversations because like they feel like their fave has faced enough unwarranted criticism. or bc other people should also be criticized. much of it is warranted! and you guys need to grow up and be able to talk about it and stop painting taylor swift's face as like the Pinnacle of feminism. she doesn't and shouldn't have to be, and she isn't, and she should in fact be held accountable when she does really fucking shitty things on account of they're shitty! i don't care that she's a woman! it's like that meme of oh yay a woman democrat sent these missiles. oh yay a woman is massively damaging the planet and proudly dated a violent misogynistic racist, and faced minimum criticism for these things over and over because your only comeback is ‘well what about’ if a man did the same thing, etc, you refuse to just look at the situation we do have. yes we should. we should do that we should hold men accountable but you can also like not accept awful fucking behavior from your faves when you have a chance. do you think that’s helping feminism genuinely. use your voice use your power (your money) to like. do something for once. i cannot keep living in the taylor swift echo chamber.

and for the record. i like enjoyed taylor like back when i was a young girl and she had a few songs on the radio, and i honestly even had a moment where i used guys' opinions on her as a first step to navigate who i felt safe around in a very hypermasculine sexist college space. because yes. some people do need feminism 101 and some people's genuinely misogynistic rage will be demonstrated in their hatred of taylor and her success. but at some point we gotta move on from that. if some people will look at the most powerful woman in the world, who has enough money to stay away from them and an extremely massive loyal fanbase watching and supporting her every move - if some men take out their hatred on her, a powerful white woman, how do you think they view and treat women who are not white, thin, "conventionally"/eurocentrically attractive, or accessible to cis/het audiences?

anyway i hope that i can bring a conversation to the swiftieverse cause i honestly believe u guys could have comparable impact to like. bts stans. maybe. if you put your minds together for a good cause. and we don’t have to do the oppression olympics or whataboutisms or WHATEVER for forever. can we please move the conversation forward does anyone else feel insane with like where we’re at

on that note, i really do think now is the perfect moment for you to disrupt shit with your voices and demand better from her. it might not save the world, but it could make a huge difference in changing peoples' minds

okay um. thanks 👍

tldr i can’t do another year of swiftie discourse i just can’t please if there is a god out there help us

#abby talks #well here’s a draft that i guess is relevant #taylor swift #swifties #swiftie #midnights #1989 #folklore #evermore #taylor’s version #travis kelce #long post #ok swiftie mutuals u better have my back here 😇👍

[beautifulpersonpeach]

BPP I love Jimin but the autotune is bad. 😔 I don't know how to feel about it. I wish Jimin did a song like Promise or Serendipity it wld be better for more people right? I hate how pdogg ruined Jimin's debut. We should admit it. Nobody is even streaming it on youtube. Armys are pretending it's a good song but kpop fans are right BPP, the song is bad.

*

Ask 2:

Hi BPP,

I hope you are well.

I have read and continue to read your blog. You seem to think so highly of the rap line which is wonderful. My post isn't about them but I do like them more than the vocal line. Please note I am not trying to be negative with my question below. I am more curious because this has been observation lately..

I am not trying to be negative but I was wondering if you could help me understand this. Being in K-pop for a while, I knew I would come across BTS at one stage in my life. I have always known they are popular. I would have to be living under the rock to think otherwise. But one thing I have always heard is a discourse around Jimins popularity. Even before I got into BTS, I would hear Jimins name thrown here and there. I knew BTS had a guy named Jimin but recently I have been thinking that perhaps he isn't as popular as I had assumed. I would have thought his music video would garner million and millions of views easily but it's not even at 15 mil. How could that be? Similarly, people aren't purchasing his songs on iTunes. I see people begging them to buy the songs on twitter. My understanding was that he is the most popular member of BTS but looking at his views compared to the rest of the members, I am thinking he is on the lower side of popularity. I am surprised to be honest. I know popularity doesn't mean everything but wouldn't he need that to be a successful artist outside of BTS?

I am also not sure if the new song is good. The autotune feels too jarring. The video is nice but the song in itself doesn't do it for me. I would have really liked to minimise autotune. It would have also been nicer if his song was more on the lines of lie. I feel there is too much focus on visual representation rather than the quality of the song. People will listen to the song more than watch the video so it's disappointing. It's also not doing that well. I mean Taylor's re-released songs are beating him already. I am worried his album won't be successful. I was hoping they would use this solo era to gather more fans but I don't see how Jimin could possibly garner more fans with a song thats so jarring to listen to.

***

Sigh, y'all should never say I didn't allow room for other perspectives in this space because I'm humoring this talking point far longer than I honestly care for. Not trying to be rude, just honest.

Hi Anon(s),

So... um, let's see. Please remember y'all are talking to someone who thinks UGH is the best song in BTS's discography. My playlist order for Set Me Free Pt 2 is:

Arson -> SMF Pt 2 -> UGH -> What Do You Think? -> SMF Pt 2

I mix it up with As I Am by JB and Khalid, Indigo, NewJeans, On The Street, and Smoke Sprite. For playlist switches I rotate between rock albums, hiphop, and lofi.

So, that's my taste. Usually.

What do you notice in all the songs in the first sequence? Think about it for a sec. With the exception of What Do You Think? to some degree, they all use autotune. A disgusting amount of it, and I love those songs so hard I would fuck them if I could.

I'm not sure if people understand what I mean when I say I'm a fan of BTS's music, that I'm an ARMY. I mean I actually love their sound and have reached this conclusion recently after following them since 2014. So PDogg's stylistic choices are ones I like most times.

Yoongi and Jimin are very similar. In my opinion. And there is no member who embraces autotune and pitch distortion more than Yoongi. He is also the only member who blatantly and unapologetically displays his alter-ego in his music - in Agust D - and that's not a coincidence. Jimin does the same thing or at least tries to create the same effect in SMF Pt 2 by using autotune. Pitch distortion is the easiest way to other yourself in a song, to create a secondary personality. Tyler Joseph does this a lot with a shadow personality within himself that he calls Blurryface in his music. Jimin in SMF Pt 2 is done playing games. That man has rage buried inside of him and somehow, he has transcended it. Yet he expresses that rage in his first song as a solo artist, through a secondary voice. The one that voices the animal in him. That Jimin is telling y'all to come correct or fuck off. And he calls out his opps. Yeah, his opps. It's Aave and yes it's sometimes unfortunate when k-pop idols use it, but sometimes it's not. Think of 'finna'. And none of the people up in arms about Jimin using that word give a rats ass that XG, a rookie group, have used it more often than Jimin to no issue, but yeah it's impossible for the idol so targeted by death threats the Texas police got involved, to say he's got opps. But I don't really care either way.

I digress. My point is the audacious and offensive use of autotune is the point in the song. It's aggressive. It's supposed to annoy you and if you happen to be a weirdo like me, it's supposed to tickle your brain. Like, this song seriously has me fucked up. I like it a lot and it's just a testament to years of discipline that I'm not looping it on Spotify.

Anon in ask 1, it's possible Jimin would reach a wider audience with a ballad, pop track like Promise/Serendipity, or a more conventional hiphop song. I'm sure he thinks so too, maybe. And yet that's not how he wanted to express himself. He chose the harsh autotune and I happen to think he sounds incredible with it.

Now Anon in ask 2, Jimin is one of the most popular members in BTS, and BTS is of course still popular. We both know that. But it's also true BTS has become less popular within k-pop spaces in general, but that's predictable given how the industry runs, and it's possible that was all you were experiencing Anon - an environment where BTS and by extension Jimin, just isn't that popular.

If that were even possible. Because like, this is Park Jimin we're talking about here.

For the people apparently begging others to buy the album, I guess they are simply people who strongly want Jimin to do well on the charts and are trying everything in their power to make it happen. I'm yet to see any of that personally though on my side of ARMY twt, what I'm seeing is organized and spontaneous purchases done out of love for the artist and his art.

*

You both mention YouTube views/streams so let me just say something on it. Personally, I don't care. I mean I care enough that we at least try to meet the goals and I genuinely love the video so I've watched it multiple times today, but not really beyond that. All this to express the extent of my interest in this matter. But even I know YouTube changed their view-counting algorithm in 2021 to increase a migration of users to their paid platform, YouTube Premium. Views today are harder to count and so one way k-pop agencies have worked around to gaining views, is to buy ads on YouTube. Perhaps it would be great if BigHit was as involved as other agencies in helping that way, but they haven't been so far except for the Pandemic English Trilogy (PET), and ARMY has more reason to stay engaged. All this to say, the views we currently have are one of the best records the fandom has ever achieved for BTS, no matter how it stacks up to the others because there are too many people who love SMF Pt 2, are talking about it, re-watching it, too many of them to not be significant enough. For YouTube we're doing fine and enjoying it at our pace.

Also I don't know what y'all want me to say about how a white American woman performs on US charts, relative to BTS members. I'm curious, did you check for their relative performance on Korean charts? Since you're so interested in the question.

You don't need to be worried about Jimin's album not being successful. It already is.

#jimin #park jimin #set me free pt.2 #Jimin FACE

[totallylost4you]

Kaylor fights and/or break-ups

Grab some tissues. It hits different 😭 ____________________________________

In May 2015, a blind item came out that said Karlie was moving things out from Taylor's apartment.

2020: Five years later in the song EXILE, Taylor referred to this fight that they supposedly had in the same way.

In 2019, Taylor on the album LOVER made it clear that her muse is from the USA, that New York screams her muse's name and that her muse has a garden gate in the West Village Karlie is from the USA, New York screams her name and she had a garden gate in the West Village.

That place was very special for their relationship because Taylor was seen there very often and she moved to New York and bought an apartment near there to hang out with Karlie in her apartment.

2019: A month after the album LOVER came out, Karlie sold her apartment in the West Village which has a garden gate.

👇👇 READ ON 👇👇 READ ON

And a year later (2020), in EXILE Taylor refers to this by saying that this person was her town, but that she is now in exile watching this person out (??selling their special place and moving out??)

I think I've seen this film before. And I didn't like the ending. You're not my homeland anymore. So what am I defending now? You were my town. Now I'm in exile, seein' you out. I think I've seen this film before.

YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN single was released on June 14, 2019

On June 25, 2019 a blind item came out saying that if Taylor wanted to come out, she couldn't mention Karlie:

And also Karlie did an interview about how much she enjoyed her new life and Taylor is briefly mentioned in it as one of her "friends", as if she was just a wrinkle

And a year later - 2020 - Taylor would refer to this in CLOSURE saying that her lover is now enjoying a new life and how Taylor feels that she is a wrinkle or something that could ruin the new life that person has built without her

RIGHT WHERE YOU LEFT ME (2020): I could feel the mascara run. You told me that you met someone. Glass shattered on the white cloth. Everybody moved on. I, I stayed there.

In 2018 and 2019, Karlie had two weddings and even though Taylor was invited, she didn't attend, she said absolutely nothing about it and Taylor's team just said she was too busy

October 2018: But the same day or the next (it's confusing because of the time zones) of the first wedding Taylor sang I KNEW YOU WERE TROUBLE completely sad as a surprise song. Taylor and Karlie met when Taylor was performing that song

Two years later - 2020 - Taylor would refer to these weddings in EVERMORE. In RIGHT WHERE YOU LEFT ME Taylor sings about how the person she used to love left her and shortly there after married and built a new life without her

In this song there is a clear reference to a tradition in Jewish Weddings. Glass shattered on the white cloth. Karlie converted to Judaism and had a Jewish Wedding

"Hair pin drop": We all know that this line is gay and what it means in this context is that Taylor's silence and her not attending Karlie's two weddings was something that confirmed that there was something more than a friendship between them

Did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen? Time went on for everybody else, she won't know it. She's still 23 inside her fantasy. How it was supposed to be. Did you hear about the girl who lives in delusion? Break-ups happen every day, you don't have to lose it. She's still 23 inside her fantasy. And you're sitting in front of me.

Taylor was 23 when she became Karlie's bff.

CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS (2020) is about how Taylor lost her golden muse because she wasn't ready to get married and how she watched this person walk away not knowing what to do

"One for the money two for the show" Karlie had two weddings and this phrase appears in the photoshoot they did together in 2014

In HAPPINESS (2020), Taylor tells how she spent seven years with this person and how she felt like she was in heaven. Taylor wrote this song a month after it was seven years since she met Karlie

This is a clear reference to Karlie because in REPUTATION and LOVER, Taylor relates heaven and religion to this person. Karlie was a Victoria's Secret Angel

HITS DIFFERENT (2022): Dreams of your hair and your stare and sense of belief. In the good in the world, you once believed in me. And I felt you and I held you for a while. Bet I could still melt your world. Argumentative, antithetical dream girl. // Movin' on was always easy for me to do. It hits different (Yeah). It hits different 'cause it's you.

Are all the Eras tour BETTY stories true? Taylor already said Betty is the love of James' life. James had to fight to get Betty back! And she believes in a Happy End. (SEE THIS LINK)

Are we getting a Kaylor reunion or was that it...?! Anything to add?

(most parts by lavenderfishboy!)

#kaylor #breakup #gaylor #gaylor swift #taylor swift #karlie kloss #relationship #lgbt pride #reputation

[foxes-that-run]

Labyrinth

Labyrinth tells of pain of a past relationship, combined with the realisation of falling back in love with them. Similar to bejewelled, I think there is an element of looking at a current relationship ending through the lens of a past one. It references a 1D song Harry wrote, Half the world away, which was leaked August 2020, 5 months before Midnights was started. HTWA also refers to the tension over Harry saying 'I love you' in Say don't go on 1989TV. It was played at the 9 November Eras show with The Very First Night.

Labyrinth starring David Bowie

The title makes me think of David Bowie's 80's film. The green vinyl also had similar image to background to the cover art. Bowie is a key influence for Harry. In Labyrinth, Bowie is a Goblin King, Jareth, who gives Sarah 13 hours to solve his labyrinth in a misguided attempt win her love. Sarah and Jareth are temperamental and wistfully invested in dreams... not unlike certain popstars.

As well as the Bowie reference this is related to the theme of being trapped or unable to get over this love.

Lyrics

It only hurts this much right now Was what I was thinking the whole time Breathe in, breathe through Breathe deep, breathe out I'll be getting over you my whole life You know how scared I am of elevators Never trust it if it rises fast It can't last

The first verse is reflecting on the emotional turmoil during the relationship (1989) and is rich in references:

Half the World Away "deep in, I'm scared I'll stop breathing"

OOTW "Are we in the clear yet? / In the clear yet, good / Are we out of the woods yet?" When discussing OOTW Taylor said she constantly felt like she needed to overcome the next step.

Suburban Legends "It's ruined my life"

Gorgeous "you've ruined by life by not being mine"

I Wish You Would: "I’ll never forget you as long as I live"

Taylor also referred to this lyric in her NYU speech (27 mins) 4 months before it's release "Hard things will happen to us. We will recover, we will learn from it. We will grow more resilient because of it. And as long as we are fortunate enough to be breathing we will breathe in, breathe through, breathe deep, breathe out. And I am a doctor now, so I know how breathing works."

Also Getaway Car includes a line from Hilary Duff's Breathe in. Breath Out. (X marks the spot where we fell apart) Taylor also 'referenced' this song musically for Paper Rings.

Harry also sings Breathe me in, Breathe me out in Watermelon Sugar.

Uh oh, I'm falling in love Oh no, I'm falling in love again Oh, I'm falling in love I thought the plane was going down How'd you turn it right around

The chorus tells of realising that a love she thought was gone has come back. It references a leaked One Direction song that

Say don't go has a similar 'oh no' to this 'uh oh' meaning realisation, there it is that is is ending, here it is that it has come back.

On One Direction's Half the world away Harry wrote “I want you around, 'round, 'round / Are we going down, down, down?”

It only feels this raw right now Lost in the labyrinth of my mind Break up, break free, break through, break down You would break your back to make me break a smile You know how much I hate that everybody just expects me to bounce back Just like that

The bounce back line is to me where we can see the similarities drawn between a past relationship (Harry) and most recent (Joe). The announcement Harry and Taylor split (for the boat time) was in real time. With paparazzi photos of them both over the next days. She learnt from that and stopped sharing at all when she dated Harry again and with CH and Joe the announcement came months after.

As in many songs, Taylor's mind is a labyrinth and she can't get past this love. She tells herself if only feels so raw, but the chorus speaks to the 'built to fall apart and get back together' nature. The pain is her anxiety as described in Gold Rush, Slut! and Say Don't Go, and focus in I know places.

Harry has sung about Taylors smile and sacrifice to have her:

Someday (sung by Michael Buble) "I love seeing you happy / I miss seeing you smile" and "For her I bend, for you I break / And if I can't be yours now / I'll wait here on this ground / 'Til you come, 'til you take me away / Maybe someday"

Half the World Away: "Now I walk to you 'til my feet hurt / So tell me that's not good enough"

If I could Fly: "I think I might / Give up everything, just ask me to"

Half the World Away also has a similar structure, both repeat the chorus about a plane/relationship going down many times at the end.

#haylor #labyrinth #midnights

[taylor-on-your-dash]

Writing Of Fearless Timeline

DISCLAIMER: None is this is my opinion unless stated otherwise. Some dates might be wrong, I was not in the fandom when Fearless was released, I joined shortly after Fearless Platinum dropped. If you saw the rollout of the release, I'd love to hear your story!

Please credit me if you use this timeline!

Early 2005: Taylor has a writing session with the Warren Brothers. They write That's When.

[BMI Article from May 2005] “She has written songs with a list of renowned writers including Troy Verges, Brett Beavers, and the Warren Brothers.”

[Alexa Skill for Taylor's Version] “That's When is a song that I wrote with the Warren Brothers and it was really fun writing with them because they're just hilarious people in general and I remember it was a classic Nashville songwriting session: you sit around a room, you go to a publishing office, you sit around in a room, everybody's got guitars and we just kind of came up with this song about space and independence and what happens when two people love each other but one of them just needs to take a breather and think about it and what would happen if rather than saying "No, if you're not sure, then leave and I don't want to talk to you ever again", what would happen if the partner was like "Do what you need to do, I'm here and I'm sure that I want to be with you, so if you need to take some space then do it", and we're just kind of playing around with that idea and we came up with this song.”

It's also possible that That's When was written later (but before September 2005) and they wrote Long Time Going and Welcome Distraction first.

February 12, 2005: Taylor writes with Scooter Carusoe for the first time, but it's unclear if they wrote You All Over Me, or Thirteen Blocks or Pretty Words. Either way, You All Over Me was written in early 2005. Scooter produced the demo, which leaked in 2017.

Scott's email to Taylor's manager, Dan Dymtrow (thanks @backup-baby-backup for sending this to me!):

[Alexa Skill for Taylor's Version] “The song You All Over Me is one that I wrote with a writer who goes by the name Scooter Carusoe, his name is Travis Hill. This was one of the songs that I remember us painstakingly going over the lyrics and trying to come up with all these different symbolic imagery references to how it could feel after you have your heart broken, just to feel like you've been ruined by the whole thing and I think that's one of the hardest things about heartbreak, this feeling like it's damaged you and now you carry that damage with you.”

Late 2005: Taylor writes Don't You with Tommy Lee James.

[Alexa Skill for Taylor's Version] “Don't You is a song that I wrote with Tommy Lee James, who's a fantastic writer. We wrote it about the idea of seeing someone that you used to have a thing for and seeing them out in public for the first time after you've heard that they've moved on and that you know your life is your life is kind of in shambles and they have moved on and they're really happy and it's almost like even them being nice to you hurts you because you're in such a state of pain and you haven't moved on yet, so that was a really fun song to write because that's just a well spring of emotion to draw from.”

[Tommy Lee James] “The crazy thing about this song is that I remember writing with Taylor that day, and I remember her just being really sharp and smart. I knew I was writing a good song. And then normally, back then I’d probably just do like a worktape or whatever, and I would throw it into my Garage Band on my computer just to save it and label it. But for some reason, I never labeled it correctly. And then, all of a sudden, Taylor comes out with ‘Tim McGraw’, and all of a sudden she’s a star. My publisher at the time, she’s going, ‘Where is that song you wrote with Taylor!?’ And I was like…'I cannot find it.'”

There are three demos of Don't You. Taylor only sings in a piano worktape, while other people sing on the other two. The IC owns these three demos since 2019. They bought them from Music Row. They described the worktape as: “A melancholic piano demo with haunting vocals, that have a sadness and longing to them, this was likely recorded in 2005, and was probably considered for the first album. Taylor runs into her ex and feels pain, because it brings back so many hard feelings and sad emotions, she feels that she still loves him and wonders why he doesn’t feel the same way, she will try her best to go along to go on with her life.”

Somewhere in 2005: Taylor releases a digital EP called “Majorly Indie Demos”. The tracklisting is unclear but the demos of Sweet Tea & God's Graces and We Were Happy were there.

There are two demos of We Were Happy, one acoustic worktape and one studio demo. Both of them have leaked.

One thing that I want to point out is that Majorly Indie was Arturo Buenahora's website. Buenahora is the executive who signed Taylor to music publisher Sony/ATV and introduced her to many songwriters, including Scooter Carusoe and Deric Ruttan. Buenahora left Sony/ATV and founded his own publishing house called Ole Majorly Indie, which then changed its name to Anthem Entertainment. This is Liz Rose's music publisher.

September 2006: Taylor writes Come In With The Rain.

Come In With the Rain (acoustic) (4 min 03 sec / Acoustic)- Simply Taylor and her acoustic guitar in this early demo recording. Passionate guitar playing during the breaks between vocal parts when Taylor stops singing.

She'll later release an early mix of the song on MySpace also in September. Posting the song on MySpace got her to surpass 1 million followers.

October 12, 2006: [From a Lover Journal] Taylor doodles Come In With The Rain on her diary.

December 1, 2006: [Interview with CMT] Taylor talks about the Debut rejects that will later become some of the Fearless Vault Songs in 2021.

“I've been very selfish about my songs. I had this dream of this project [Debut Album] coming out for so many years now that I just stockpiled. I'm so happy that I did because now we have a second album full of songs and a third album full of songs, and I don't have to lift a finger.”

December 2006: [From a Lover Journal] Taylor writes White Horse.

White Horse (3 min 36 sec / Studio) - A perfect acoustic studio version. Taylor sounds so young here, it makes us think this song was written prior to the first album. Lots of fake versions are in circulation.

December 28, 2006: Performance at the Wildhorse Saloon in Nashville. Unknown setlist except for Nashville and Our Song. Sam Armstrong was there and will comment in 2018 that Taylor performed a song about him there. It's unclear whether it was White Horse or Nashville (which is not about him, by the way).

Early 2007: Taylor writes The Other Side Of The Door.

Description of The Other Side of the Door Studio Demo from the Inner Circle (in circulation but not leaked), which I think it's pretty accurate: “4 minutes and 01 seconds: Starts with a catchy drum loop similar to the studio version of "Permanent Marker" and has less instrumentation. Very country with electric guitars coming in sooner.” She sounds SO young in the demo, it's basically the same baby voice she has in the Christmas songs.

April 2007: Taylor writes You're Not Sorry, possibily about Sam Armstrong.

[Interview from October 2008] “I wrote it about maybe a year and half ago about this guy that kept apologizing and kept doing the same thing over and over again and after a while you just have stand up to that person and say, ‘You’re not sorry. At all... bye.’”

“I wrote a few more songs [other than Should've Said No] on this upcoming record about him just because, you know, I wasn’t done being mad about it. I know he's on the edge of his seat waiting.

“It is about this guy who turned out to not be who I thought I was. He came across as Prince Charming. Well, it turned out Prince Charming had a lot of secrets that he didn’t tell me about. And one by one, I would figure them out. I would find out who he really was. I wrote this when I was at the breaking point of, ‘You know what? Don’t even think that you can keep on hurting me.’ It was to a point where I had to walk away.”

Gossip Speculation: The other songs for Sam are: White Horse, You're Not Sorry, Come In With The Rain and The Other Side Of The Door.

May 15, 2007: Taylor talks about Fearless the song while getting ready for the ACMs Awards

I wrote this song that I'm really excited about called "Fearless." It's about the best first date that I haven't been on yet. I just try and put myself in the position of "this is really happening,' and what would happen on the coolest first date. So I haven't ever written a song about, you know, that feeling before. I've written songs, but I haven't recorded them or put them on an album, and so I think that would be a cool. It's about angry, not sad . The whole thing - I think it's really going to be cool for people to see that sort of song coming out of me. I would tell you about every single song on the album right now, I just can't wait for you to hear it.

May 30, 2007: First recorded performance of Sparks Fly in Oroville, CA.. Steve from the Inner Circle/Dark Blue Tennessee.com films it and posts it online.

July 10, 2007: [From MySpace] “So lately, I’ve been in the studio on my days off recording a CHRISTMAS album! Haha. Not kidding. It’s a Target exclusive thing, and I’m really excited about it! There are two songs on it that I wrote. More on it later!”

According to its copyright file, Christmases When You Were Mine was written in 2007, but it's totally possible that it was written around Christmas '06. In my opinion, since Nathan Chapman is credited as writer, it was likely written in the studio just for the EP.

Christmas Must Be Something More was written in 2003. The Acoustic Demo from 2003 has never leaked and its existence only surfaced in 2018 thanks to Bob Orrall.

July 19, 2007: Taylor and Brad Paisley stop at the Jamboree In The Hills in Morristown, Ohio, where she sings Permanent Marker, and Fearless, along other songs from Debut.

July 2007: Taylor has written more or less 75 songs, including Fearless.

[Unrated Magazine Interview] “I've got, like, 75 written, and we just have to whittle it down to whatever number of songs we want to put on the album, and start recording. I wrote this song that I'm really excited about called "Fearless." It's about the best first date that I haven't been on yet. I just try and put myself in the position of "this is really happening,' and what would happen on the coolest first date. So I haven't ever written a song about, you know, that feeling before. I've written songs, but I haven't recorded them or put them on an album, and so I think that would be a cool.”

“She conceived the song while touring as opening act to promote her eponymous debut album: "This is a song about the fearlessness of falling in love. No matter how many break up songs you write, no matter how many times you get hurt, you will always fall in love again. When I wrote “Fearless,” I wasn’t dating anyone. I wasn’t even in the beginning stages of dating anybody. I really was all by myself out on tour and I got this idea for a song about the best first date. I think sometimes when you’re writing love songs, you don’t write them about what you’re going through at the moment, you write about what you wish you had. So, this song is about the best first date I haven't had yet.”

[Hillary Lindsay to MusicRow.com] “I had a writing date with Taylor, and she came to my home. She came in like a fireball. She was young, but she knew exactly what she wanted. She had been working on the song with Liz, but wanted to finish it with me.”

August 2007: Taylor writes The Best Day while on tour with Brad Paisley.

“I wrote this song on the road and didn’t tell my mom about it. I decided that I was going to keep it a secret and give it to her as a surprise for Christmas. I wrote it in the summer and then recorded it secretly with the band in the studio. After it was done, I synched the song up to all these home videos of her, and my family. She didn’t even realize it was me singing until halfway through the song! She didn’t have any idea that I could possibly write and record a song without her knowing about it. When she finally got it, she just started bawling her eyes out.”

September 22, 2007: “I'm just counting down to December, when we start recording the next album. There's so much that I'm excited about”.

August/September 2007 (not confirmed): Tell Me Why and Acting Like A Boy, both co-written with Liz Rose, are registered together in her Music Publishing catalogue (Sony/ATV). Acting Like A Boy is the 66th song and Tell Me Why the 67th. Shortly after, a song called Too Beautiful, solo written, is copyrighted.

The singer told The Associated Press that this was inspired by her frustration at a boy that she liked acting up. She explained: "I walked into Liz's house, and I said, 'I can't believe what's going on right now, I've gotta tell you about this.' I told her all about it. She goes, 'If you could say everything you were thinking to him right now, what would you start with?'" Swift began venting: "I would say to him, 'I'm sick and tired of your attitude, I feel like I don't even know you' ... and I just started rambling, and she was writing down everything that I was saying, and so, we turned it into a song."

“I’d been talking to a guy I’ve never “officially” dated. Sometimes it’s the hardest thing when you have all these dreams of dating them, and you’re getting close, but it doesn’t work out. He would say things that would make me go, “Did you just say that?” It bothered me so much because he would say one thing and do another, do one thing and say another. Because he didn’t know what he wanted, he would just play all these mind games. So I went over to write with Liz and was just ranting and raving about how this guy is such a flake and such a jerk sometimes, and so cool other times. I was like, “Liz, I don’t know what’s up with this guy!” So I just started playing the beginning, “I took a chance, I took a shot. And you might think I’m bulletproof, but I’m not.””

Description of the Tell Me Why Acoustic Demo: 3 minutes and 7 seconds long. An extremely rare worktape demo from the Fearless album sessions. With studio production stripped away, we are left with Taylor singing along to an acoustic guitar using vocals that are softer and carry more emotional weight. The lyrics are different in some places, which makes for fascinating comparisons.

Description of Acting Like A Boy (worktape): Taylor starts this demo in a unique way by stating the song title. The boy Taylor has been dating has been sending her mixed signals. He has been playing a little game, acting like he doesn't care, and picking fights with her. Taylor is not going to put up with this forever. She is going to slip through his hands soon and he won't find her anymore. This song has a very pretty chorus melody.

October 10, 2007: [From the Inner Circle] “First performance of Fifteen at the All For the Hall New York. Quality unknown. We do not currently have a copy of this and are not sure if it was recorded. Tickets cost $1,000 each to attend and Taylor was a surprise guest.”

“I wrote this around the story line of my best friend from high school, Abigail. I started everything with the line “Abigail gave everything she had to a boy who changed his mind” and wrote everything else from that point, almost backwards. I just decided I really wanted to tell that story about our first year of high school because I felt in my freshman year, I grew up more than any year in my life so far.”

October 14, 2007: Sounds of the Season: The Taylor Swift Holiday Collection is released in a limited edition through Target. It will be later reissued in 2009 with a slightly different cover.

November 7, 2007: After months of putting it off, Taylor finishes Change after winning the CMA Horizon award. This will be the last time in which her fiddler Emily Poe would perfom with Taylor.

“That’s when I finished it, because I knew I couldn’t finish it until something like that happened. It was absolutely the most amazing night of my life, getting to see the emotion of all the people who worked so hard for me.”

“At one point, I began to understand that it would be harder for me on a smaller record label to get to the places and accomplish the things that artists were accomplishing on bigger record labels. I realized that I wouldn’t get favors pulled for me because there weren’t any other artists on the label to pull favors from. It was going to be an uphill climb and all that I had to encourage me was the hope that someday things would change. That things would be different. After so many times of just saying that to myself over and over, I finally wrote it down in a song.”

November 30, 2007: Taylor meets up with Colbie Caillat and they write Breathe, for her former fiddle player, Emily Poe.

“She was doing a show in Nashville and I just happened to be in town, so we got together and wrote a killer song. It’s really cool, and I can’t wait for you to hear it. She’s gonna record back up vocals on it for my new album. (They’ll be really loud back up vocals, because she has an incredibly awesome voice and I want it to be turned wayyyy up).”

[Alexa Skill for Taylor's Version] “Breathe is a song about having to let go of someone in your life who you care about and you don't want to hurt but you've outgrown the friendship or the relationship and I wrote this one I wrote the idea for it and Colbie Caillat was in town playing a show and I brought her this idea and she really liked it and we wrote it together, we sat there and wrote the song right before her show, I mean it was the afternoon she was about to play that night. She's singing backup vocals on it that are just so haunting and I'm so lucky because she agreed to do the same backup vocals on my version of Breathe, so it absolutely would not have been the same without her.”

“It’s a song about having to say goodbye to somebody, but it never blames anybody. Sometimes that’s the most difficult part. When it’s nobody’s fault. I was a huge fan of Colbie’s record. When it came out, I fell in love with the way that she makes music. I contacted her management right away and I asked if I could write with her and, sure enough, Colbie had a date coming up in Nashville where she was going to be playing a show and she had the day off. I think she sounds beautiful on it. I’m so excited to have her voice on my album.”

December 5, 2007: [From MySpace] “Speaking of my next album, today was my first day in the studio “pre-planning” for recording it!! My producer, Nathan, and I basically spent all day listening to songs and picking which ones to record first.”

“When Taylor sat down in December 2007 to start planning her sophomore album, she knew she had a tough act to follow — her self-titled debut had just been certified double platinum. “Pressure is one of my favorite things in the world,” Taylor told the Tennessean. “When I heard before my second album, ‘Is she going to experience a sophomore slump?’ it made me more motivated to make sure that didn’t happen. ‘Is she going to keep this fan base?’ ‘Is this thing going to run off the tracks?’ Those things motivate me. My gut instinct has worked so far, and I’m not going to mess with that.””

December 10, 2007: Taylor is in the studio to record Change and Breathe. Taylor Swift goes double platinum. Our Song reaches No. 1. It's her first song to do so.

December 13, 2007: Taylor turns 18. Footage from her birthday party will be later turned in the Beautiful Eyes music video.

[From MySpace] “I had an amazing time at my party. I wore a hot pink dress. Pictures soon! The party was a blast.. My favorite thing about it was this photo booth. All of us were taking pictures in there the whole night. We had tarot card readers and palm readers and all kinds of fun stuff to do. I’ve never really had a big birthday party before, so it was amazing to get that chance! My record label surprised me with this HUGE pink truck!! They’re so sweet to me, and I’ve always wanted a truck.”

Around this time, an alternate version of Christmases When You Were Mine is released thorough Entertainment Weekly.

December 23, 2007: [From MySpace] “We’ve got six songs recorded already, and they sound amazing. I’ve been in the studio with Nathan (my producer. Same guy who produced my first record! But this time we’re co-producing) all month and it’s been so much fun.”

December 27, 2007: The Mirror tracklisting is released:

Permanent Marker

Tell Me Why

I'd Lie

Fearless

Dark Blue Tennessee

Sparks Fly

The One Thing.

Lyrics to I'm Looking Out For You are also photographed. This song is speculated to be about Gracie Johnson, a friend of Taylor's who was battling cancer. Gracie can be heard at the beginning of the Beautiful Eyes Video and in the first picture of Love Story (Taylor's Version) Lyric Video.

“Bye Bye Baby [previously known as The One Thing] is a song that I wrote with Liz Rose and it was just one of those ones that it would always get stuck in my head, just the idea that you're facing disappointment when it comes to somebody that you really cared about, and kind of that grand letdown that happens when you're growing up and you're learning to trust people and trying to learn about love and everything and kind of realizing that you have to let go.”

Somewhere in 2007: Taylor writes The Way I Loved You with John Rich and SuperStar with Liz Rose.

[About The Way I Loved You] “I got this idea for a song about being in a relationship with a nice guy who is punctual and opens up the door for you and brings you flowers... but you feel nothing. The whole time you’re with him, you’re thinking about the guy who was complicated and messy and frustrating. So I brought that idea, the title and where I thought the song should go to John. He was able to relate to it because he is that complicated, frustrating messy guy in his relationships. We came at the song from different angles. It was just so cool to get in a room and write with him because he really is an incredible writer.”

John Rich is a Republican and spoke against Taylor in 2018 after Marsha Blackburn won, so this is probably all we'll ever know about their writing session.

There are two demos of Superstar, and on the worktape Taylor reveals that the superstar was born in Arkansas. Fans speculated that it's a reference to Joe Nichols, a famous country singer.

January 28, 2008: Matt Jenkins opens for Taylor at the Tampa Bay Performing Arts Center. They write a song together called This One's Different. It was probably intended for Jenkins' debut album (which was never released) but I'll inlcude it anyway.

[Description of the song from the Inner Circle] The singer reflects back on how there can be really bad days and nights where it seems like everything goes wrong. But things can change for the better in a single moment when we meet the perfect person. The story in this song culminates in a romantic proposal and wedding. This song is unique because Taylor only sings background vocals and the story is told from the boy's perspective.

Video of Taylor and Matt explaining how she contacted him.

February 28, 2008: Love and Theft open Taylor's concert in Spartanburg, SC. This is likely the period when Taylor and Stephen Barker Liles met and Taylor wrote Hey Stephen.

“We were recording at John and Martina McBride’s studio [aka Blackbird Studios in Nashville] and he was like, ‘My kids are dying to meet you. Do you think that you could say hi to them?’ I said, ‘Sure, have them come and hang out while we’re recording.’ So his daughters and their friends from school – there were about ten of them there – they all came into the studio when we were recording “Hey Stephen” and they loved it. They were singing along with it by the end of it." The children ended up snapping their fingers on the song.”

March 2008: According to Nathan Chapman, Love Story was recorded in March.

[From Everyday is a Fairytale by Liv Spencer] “Taylor wrote this song lying on her bedroom floor in a mere 20 minutes and recorded a rough cut of the track in 15 minutes of studio time the next day.”

[Nathan Chapman to ProAudio] “The vocal was a tracking vocal — that's the vocal she cut live with the band," Chapman reveals. "The band was just acoustic guitar, bass and drums; everything else was overdubbed.”

Nathan is likely talking about these two demos: Love Story (4 min 8 sec / Acoustic in a Studio) Taylor went into the studio to record this demo shortly after writing it and you can hear Nathan (the producer) speaking during the recording; Love Story Justin Niebank Master Mix (3 min 58 sec / Studio) - As the music starts playing, Taylor clears her throat in preparation for singing. This album demo is more like a raw unmixed studio version. Sometimes Taylor's vocal is simply one take with no enhancements. At other times, harmonies are mixed in loudly or there are multiple Taylor vocals all singing together.

[Taylor on Rolling Stone, January 25, 2010] “Love Story wasn’t technically the last one, but it was very, very last minute.”

“This is a song I wrote when I was dating a guy who wasn't exactly the popular choice. His situation was a little complicated, but I didn't care. I started this song with the line "This love is difficult, but it's real." When I wrote the ending to this song, I felt like it was the ending every girl wants to go with her love story. It’s the ending that I want. You want a guy who doesn’t care what anyone thinks, what anyone says. He just says, “Marry me, Juliet, I love you, and that’s all I really know.” It’s sort of told in a character kind of thing, where it’s Romeo and Juliet, and it’s not me saying that I’m getting married or anything...but I think it’s fun to write about it.”

March 2008: Just days after writing Love Story, Taylor has a writing session with Craig Wiseman. She brings Love Story with her, asking if he wanted to finish it with her, but he refused. They end up writing another unknown song.

March 28, 2008: [Rollling Stone Interview] “I’ve recorded six songs, including one that I wrote with Colbie Caillat, that she’s going to throw some harmonies on, which I can’t even wait to hear. And I’m going in to record six more this week and then we have another session scheduled for summertime. We’re really trying to just cut a bunch of stuff and put whatever is best on the album.”

May 10, 2008: Banjo Ben Clark, the banjo player who has been touring with Taylor since 2006, reveals that he had recently played some banjo on new Taylor songs. Through an email exchange with him, I was able to confirm that he played on a Fearless song of which the production was changed and the banjo track discarded. Mr. Clark was not able to confirm which song this was.

Early June 2008: Taylor records Crazier and White Horse.

“I actually wasn’t going to put [White Horse] on the album. I was going to wait for the third album because I really felt like we had the “sadness” represented on this record. Then my agency out in LA set up a meeting with executive producers Betsy Beers and Shonda Rhimes at Grey’s Anatomy because that’s my favorite show. It would just be a dream come true to have a song on it. So, I played them “White Horse.” It was just me and my guitar and they freaked out. They loved it. They said, “We’ll get back to you as soon as possible.” For a while, we didn’t know if we were going to put it on the record because if it wasn’t going to be on the show, then we weren’t going to put it on the album. Then they called and said they were very interested in the song. We recorded it right away, sent it off to them, and they put it in!”

“White Horse is about what, in my opinion, is the most heart-breaking part of a break-up – that moment when you realize that all the dreams you had, all those visions you had of being with this person, all that disappears. Everything after that moment is moving on.. But that initial moment of "Wow, it's over" is what I wrote White Horse about.”

(About Crazier) [Billboard Interview, March 2008] “There are songs that I wrote when I was 13 that I think are perfect to bring out now. I didn’t get a chance to put ’em on the record the first time around. There’s so much stuff that I’m gonna to pull from the back drawer and then there’s some stuff that I will write today and cut tomorrow.”

“I wrote the song ‘Crazier’ when I was thirteen, and so this song is really a reflection of what I thought love was supposed to be. And, you know, sometimes you write a love song about what you hope will find you, and what you hope you’ll find someday, not about what you’re actually going through. I wrote the song in hopes that possibly it would be in the movie, but I never thought that it would be such a big, prominent song. It’s absolutely one of the most exciting things. The song is playing when the main characters in the movie, Miley and Billy Ray, are both falling in love, with that song as a background. It’s really cool to have that kind of a part in the movie.”

[Co-writer Robert Ellis Orrall on Crazier] “Disney called her up and said, 'We need a fiddle waltz song for Hannah Montana the Movie, we would love for you to sing it. She had one, so she sent it to them.”

Speculation:

I'm pretty confident that the songs written at 13 which she considered to release were Crazier and R-E-V-E-N-G-E.

I'm not entirely sure it was June, but Crazier, White Horse and Beautiful Eyes were mastered together, so I'm gonna assume that they were done in the period between her cameo in Hannah Montana and the release of the Beautiful Eyes EP. Grey's Anatomy was in post-production in that period, so that checks out.

June 9, 2008: Taylor shoots her cameo in Hannah Montana.

July 15, 2008: Beautiful Eyes is released.

[From MySpace] “I’m only letting my record company make a small amount of these - the last thing I want any of you to think is that we are putting out too many releases. I’m not going to be doing a bunch of promotion for it, because I don’t want there to be confusion about whether it’s the second album or not.”

Beautiful Eyes was written by April 20, 2004 and recorded on August 9, 2004 and it was produced by Orrall. The song released is actually the exact same demo, not even remixed, just mastered. [Source: Bob Orrall's Instagram]

I Heart? was written in early 2004 and the demo recorded in June 2004. The released version, available for download if you bought her Debut album the first week at Best Buy, was recorded on November 3, 2005 (instrumentals) and on November 4, 2005 (vocals). Both versions are produced by Bob Orrall.

FAQ: What's the difference between mixing and mastering?

July 29, 2008: First live perfomance of Untouchable from the Live from Clear Channel Stripped 2008.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Live from Clear Channel Stripped 2008 is the album which was released without Taylor's approval in April 2020. Before the "official" Big Machine release, these songs were on the Target YouTube channel. YouTube channel EAS Music Official waited until Taylor regained possessions of Fearless before uploading a 4K remastered version of Love Story from this live. Both videos are ethical-sourced.

August 5 and 6, 2008: Shooting of the Love Story music video at the Cumberland University and Castle Gwynn in Arrington, Tennessee.

August 8, 2008: Change is released.

August 15, 2008: Week of the Jonas Brothers 3D Movie shooting where Taylor performs Should've Said No; Should've Said No reaches No. 1; Fearless is announced for November.

August 30, 2008: [From MySpace] “So now is the time for planning. In 73 days, November 11th will be here and so will the release date of my new album. And so right now I’m in the middle of writing my ‘thank you’ section and thinking about track listing order (wondering “What song should go first..? Or last? How do you get the perfect flow of an album? What IS the "flow” of an album? Hmmm..“). And I’m also thinking about the secret codes to put into the lyrics. [...] This next record is on my mind 24/7, all the time. It never stops. I’m always either listening to a new mix of a song or scanning through pictures to make sure we’ve chosen the right ones, or wondering which songs you guys are going to like the best. I’m just so obsessed with it right now, all the planning. And sometimes I just have to sit back and remind myself that 73 days is not going to be here any sooner if I obsess. It’s still going to be 73 days away.”

Somewhere between July and August 2008: Taylor writes Jump Then Fall and Today Was A Fairytale.

[About Jump The Fall] «It’s probably the happiest, bounciest, most fun song to drive down the street listening to. It's one of my favorites on the Platinum Edition. It's just really fun and happy and takes me back to a good place.»

July 31, 2008: Taylor shoots the Fearless photoshoot. (I got this date from an insider)

September 1, 2008: The Fearless tracklist is released. Originally, Change was the first song The Way I Loved You wasn't included. Forever & Always was also missing, as Taylor hadn't written it yet.

September 12, 2008: The lead single Love Story is released.

[From MySpace] “A lot of people have been asking me what inspired this song.. I think the line that sums up what that song is about is “This love is difficult, but it’s real.” It just means that sometimes you have to fight for love, but sometimes it’s worth fighting for. Like with Romeo and Juliet. Except without the death. :) To me, the song isn’t really about living in a castle and having met your true love at a royal ball. It’s simpler than that. It’s about love being worth it. The hard times, the things that keep you apart, the times when you question it.. I would really like to think that the right love is worth the energy we put into it. So that’s what this song is about. Love and Romeo, and how we fight for those things that we can’t be without. In 1789 or in 2008. Whether you’re 16 or 60.”

Taylor will call the guy who inspired Love Story “a creep” in a 2011 interview.

September 18, 2008: The Jonas Brothers are filming their music video Lovebug. Joe meets Camilla Belle there.

September 21, 2008: Taylor and Liz Rose write You Belong With Me.

“I came into the writing session with Liz Rose and said: “I’ve got this idea. I had overheard a friend of mine talking to his girlfriend and he was completely on the defensive saying, “No, baby...I had to get off the phone really quickly...I tried to call you right back...Of course I love you. More than anything! Baby, I’m so sorry.” She was just yelling at him! I felt so bad for him at that moment. So I came up with the first line “You’re on the phone with your girlfriend, she’s upset, going off about something that you said,” and I ran that into the story line that I’m in love with him and he should be with me instead of her. It just became this whole picture. It was really fun for us to write the line, “She wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts.””

[Liz Rose Interview] “Taylor said, ‘I’m finishing the record on Monday. Let’s write an uptempo song.’ We wrote ‘You Belong With Me’ in one or two hours. It’s amazing to go back to the work tape and listen to it, because you wouldn’t believe the nuances that show up in the album version, too. When she’s writing something, she’s already producing in her head. She hears it all.”

Description of the worktape: You Belong With Me (3 min 7 sec / Acoustic)- Provides an incredible window into the songwriting process which went into this future hit song. Taylor clears her voice and then unleashes her acoustic guitar as she sings along with great feeling. There are some unique lyrics on this demo including an entirely different bridge. Simply stunning.

September 22, 2008: Taylor records You Belong With Me.

[Nathan Chapman Interview] We moved a little quick sometimes - most of You Belong With Me took two hours and a half. We started at 10AM and we were done by 12:30. I said, "Hey, let's go to lunch", but on the way back, one of the guys from the label said, "Hey, it's not cool to take that much time for one song". So we did four songs that afternoon. And then her management called and said, "You really wore her out today, can you go easier on her tomorrow?"

September 22 or 23, 2008: While in the studio, Taylor writes and records Forever & Always, a last-addiction to Fearless.

[From MySpace] [...] And I recorded a new song the other day for Fearless. I think it’s fun to put yourself under crazy pressure to finish a song by a certain deadline. That’s what I did with this last song. And that makes 13 songs on the new album. 13….. I think that’s a good number of songs to end up with….<3

“Forever & Always is about when I was in a relationship with someone and I was just watching him slowly slip away. I didn't know why, because I wasn't doing anything different. I didn't do anything wrong. He was just fading. It’s about the confusion and frustration of wondering why? What changed? When did it change? What did I do wrong? In this case, the guy I wrote it about ended up breaking up with me for another girl. Guess I know why he was fading.”

September 26, 2008: White Horse is premeried on Grey's Anatomy.

September 30, 2008: [From MySpace] “So this week, we’re in “final approval mode” for the album. You know, all the emails that say in the subject lines “Fearless album booklet: FINAL APPROVAL” or “CD design: FINAL APPROVAL”. So I’m doing a lot of approving. And then they send it to the magical CD maker people and they make all the CDs just in time for November 11. Actually, it’s called the distribution branch, but I prefer “the magical CD maker people”.”

Somewhere during the last two weeks of September: Drama Queen, co-written with Martin Johnson is written and recorded. It will be mastered along the rest of the Fearless songs and another re-recording of R-E-V-E-N-G-E (not the one leaked). Since the song was mastered, it's considered an outtake and not a demo.

Fun fact: Along with I'd Lie, Drama Queen and R-E-V-E-N-G-E are the only three unreleased songs to have been mastered.

IMPORTANT PERSONAL NOTE: I know that a lot of people think that Drama Queen is exclusively a Speak Now cut, but this is not my opinion, but what the master engineer (Hank Williams) and Big Machine officially declared. Feel free to not believe them though. It's totally possible it was considered for Fearless Platinum or for Speak Now (and I believe it was) but cut in favour of Better Than Revenge, but it doesn't change the fact that it's also a Fearless cut. If you really have proof that Big Machine falsified documents, call them out, don't waste time coming after me, I just copy-past stuff. They're already considered liars anyway.

October 14, 2008: Through Countdown to Fearless, an exclusive campaign by the iTunes Store, Fearless is released as a promotional single.

October 28, 2008: You're Not Sorry is released as a promotional single through ITunes. The physical copies are also completed.

[From MySpace] Just letting everyone know that my new song “You’re Not Sorry” comes out on iTunes tonight at midnight, so check it out! I stopped by the label today and held the actual CD in my hands… It’s finished. It’s ready to go. TWO WEEKS! Let me know what you think of the new song!

November 4, 2008: You Belong With Me is released as a promotional single through ITunes.

November 11, 2008: Fearless is finally released.

March 19, 2009 (not confirmed): [From MySpace] “I've been in the studio all day (I know, I know.. We JUST put out a new album. I think I have a problem, I cannot stop writing songs.)”. The song is possibly Mr. Perfectly Fine.

[Alexa Skill for Taylor's Version] “Mr Perfectly Fine was definitely an early indicator of me sort of creeping towards a pop sensibility. I've always listened to every type of music and even though Fearless is a country album, there were always these pop melodies creeping in. But I really love this song and, I love the bridge, I think the lyrics are just wonderfully scathing and full of the teen angst that you would hope to hear on an album that I wrote when I was 17 or 18 or you know on that cusp.”

April 23, 2009: The Fearless Tour starts in Evansville, Indiana.

October 26, 2009: Fearless Platinum Edition is released.

«The six new songs on the Fearless [Platinum Edition] are songs that I either recorded and wrote really recently, wrote maybe a year ago and almost put on Fearless but decided not to for one reason or another, or a songs that I wrote when I was 14/15 and re-recorded recently. It's a good mixture of songs from different time periods throughout my life. When I make an album, I always have a general theme for it. And when I hear songs, or go back and listen to old ones, there are some that I know fit in with the theme.»

Check out my Spreadsheet with all the writing and recording dates.

Follow my playlist 'Fearless in Chronological Order'.

Go to my Writing of Speak Now Timeline

Go to my Writing of Red Timeline

Go to my Writing of Red Timeline (VIDEO EDITION)

Other Sources used:

U.S. Copyright Office;

Mastering Archive Website;

Sony/ATV Catalogue;

Fearlyssa/Rare TS Songs Website;

Alexa Skills from Fearless TV (audio courtesy of u/emmafan3070, transcripts by me);

Big Machine Interviews Archive;

Taylor's Concert History (also Colbie Caillat's);

TS MySpace Archive on Tumblr

Taylor Swift Switzerland

Last but certainly not least, the king of Taylor's timeline: Robert Ellis Orrall.

#taylor swift #writing of fearless timeline #i just realized i hadn't posted this one here yet ops #i think i wrote this in december 2021 #but i only posted it on reddit #fearless era #fearless taylor's version #taylor swift unreleased songs #taylor swift timelines

[sheikitoff]

breath of the wild as evermore

if you’re up on your taylor swift lore, you know folklore and evermore are considered “sister albums” - both written and recorded during the pandemic, released five months apart, with a shared “cinematic universe” of sorts, and both characterized by taylor as getting lost in the woods (artistically) and staying there for a while. all of that is true, but if folklore is a lush forest in summer or high fall, evermore is a forest in late winter - the trees are bare, the world is quieter, and all around are signs of death and decay; yet even still, peeking out from the snow are hints of life returning, of nature in all its persistence gearing up to bloom again.

like MM, BOTW is a game about dealing with the apocalypse, but while in MM that apocalypse is imminent, in BOTW it’s a few generations past, still in living memory for some (like the zora) but for the most part the formative shadow under which the people of the world were raised and which society is just starting to emerge from. (this is a real sidebar, but i’ve always thought MM and BOTW were the zelda games most visibly influenced by ff7; in MM, with the moon hanging over the world, akin to meteor in disc 3; in BOTW, i see the final shot of midgar’s ruins overtaken by nature in every corner of hyrule.) but botw isn’t evermore just because it’s a sister to mm/folklore. evermore is an album of aching grief, not just for things lost but for potentials never realized, for “could-have-beens” that never were, for longing after that which was once in your reach but no longer is; “we could just ride around / and the road not taken looks real good now.” i think the champions’ fates are among the most haunting of any zelda characters; they were all brilliant and talented, in their primes, leaders in their communities, brave and true with full lives ahead of them, and they all died horribly, trapped and alone. whether or not mipha’s feelings for link were requited or not, she’ll never know, and link will never have the chance to respond one way or another; “i guess i’ll never know / and you’ll go on with the show”.

evermore is also an album about figuring out who you are (or are going to be) after a loss: “and in the disbelief / i can’t face reinvention/ i haven’t met the new me yet.” in botw, this theme is prevalent on both an individual and a societal level; link spends the game both learning who he was before and who he is now, through finding old memories and through making new ones, and likewise hyrule is rebuilding itself, trying to figure out what it’s going to become, but that future kingdom hasn’t quite taken shape yet (nor have it’s tears- sorry for the pun, i’ll stop now). “there is happiness / past the blood and bruise / past the curses and cries / beyond the terror in the nightfall.” yet people are relentless in their persistence, their determination to keep going, to create life out of a wasteland of death; and through the tarreytown quests the game makes you a party to this, makes you and link engage with the way humanity refuses to be stamped out. “oh, i can’t / stop you putting roots in my dreamland / my house of stone, your ivy grows / and now i’m covered in you.”

here’s the part where i say, full disclosure: i played BOTW in the weeks before and months after my grandmother’s death, and for me that game is inextricably tied to my grief. on evermore, taylor has a song grieving her grandmother (see “marjorie”, pack tissues). i don’t believe that’s why i think evermore is BOTW, and i think i’ve proven that here, but it’s be naive of me to think there’s no connection going on in my subconscious because of that.

another difference between MM/folklore and BOTW/evermore is in the pacing; even though both albums are roughly the same length, folklore feels very tightly paced, extremely sonically coherent, with one clear central vision. evermore is a bit more meandering, more experimental, more willing to sit in silence and sadness and watch the frozen landscape for a while. it still plays with different characters and fictional storylines (and like in MM, link/the player spends a lot of BOTW in the role of observer), but they’re not as interwoven as those on folklore; likewise, in BOTW the characters are spread far and wide across hyrule instead of largely gathered in clocktown, their lives are far less intertwined, and while the NPCs do all have scheduled trajectories of sorts they’re far less strict or significant than those of MM. (also of note; while in folklore, the “teenage love triangle” of songs - cardigan, august, and betty, each from the point of view of a different character from the same love triangle - has resolution, a degree of closure, and some real catharsis on “betty”, the evermore equivalent, ‘tis the damn season and dorothea, have no resolution or closure or catharsis of any kind. unfulfilled, just like the champions’ lives and potential.)

all of these themes and ideas are also summed up within one BOTW character: zelda. unfulfilled potential is the name of the game with her, as she’s constantly told she’s a failure for her inability to unlock her powers, while also being shut off from all her research, her potential as a scholar and any potential discoveries her passion could have led her to, and any lives that knowledge might have saved. (in age of calamity, we learn that zelda’s research into technology could and would have been able to save at least some lives, but the canon of that game is questionable, and regardless BOTW zelda doesn’t know any of that because it never happened; she’s just left with the possibility that maybe she could have uncovered something, but no certainty.) zelda’s grief goes without saying, as we see her breaking down in flashbacks, and her longing - for her powers, to be a scholar, to not be a princess, to be free of the burden of prophecy - is everywhere. (not to mention, the game opens with link hearing zelda’s voice but unable to reach her; whether you interpret their relationship as romantic or not, the whole game is framed with a longing for something you can’t reach). and the persistence of hyrule in surviving and rebuilding despite the calamity is reflected in zelda’s persistence in holding ganon at bay for a whole century; and, in the “true ending” scene you get for unlocking all the memories, we see her already making plans for hyrule, for where to go next and how to move forward.

there’s a lot more i could say, but i’ll end with the final track of evermore, fittingly named “evermore”, which i think sums up the themes of this game so well: “and i couldn’t be sure / but i had a feeling so peculiar / this pain wouldn’t be for / evermore.”

addendum: ah, crap, i meant to write something about the champion’s abilities as representation for still feeling the presence of loved ones after they’ve passed, and “if i didn’t know better / i’d think you were still around / i know better / but i still feel you all around”… ah well, it’s long enough as it is

#breath of the wild #botw #taylor swift #zelda #evermore #legend of zelda

[swifterthancivility]

It's very weird to me that people don't believe Taylor's vault tracks were written at the time of the album or like the era of the album.

I mean first of all Taylor never said these were fully recorded and produced songs ready to go that got cut at the very last second. I think that's what people envisioned but the truth is there were probably a lot of times during the process where songs were cut or added. And maybe some of these songs were cut because 2014 Taylor couldn't finish working on them. Maybe some of the songs were not whole ideas yet or fully realized. That doesn't mean that she is lying when she says they were attached to this era.

And maybe I'm just not a talented writer but if you asked me to write a poem in the style I was using in 2014 I physically could not do it. Like it just wouldn't be possible to get into that mindset again for me. And I don't think Miss "I've never been a natural all I do is try try try" Swift is that different from me in that regard. I think she could edit a song she'd started on a few years ago, but I don't think she has it in her to fabricate songs whole cloth from an era she has left behind.

And finally all the vault tracks have been pretty of their era. I'm going to be honest, I'm not a huge fan of fearless and I wasn't a huge fan of most of the vault tracks. I really only liked Mr. Perfectly Fine. On the other hand I love Red and I loved all the vault tracks. Same with Speak now. And I mentioned before I kind of missed the 1989 era due to personal tragedies but now that I'm listening to it fully through it might be my first no skips Taylor Album (if we're going in order of re-releases) and I am obsessed with the vault tracks. All of the vault tracks fit perfectly into the albums in my opinion.

Fearless was kind of heartbroken and self indulgent so you get "you all over me" and "don't you". Red was as Taylor says, about a heartbroken person so we get "nothing new" and "forever winter" but we also get the other side of Red in "I'll bet you think about me" where she's kind of joking about her ex in a way she couldn't on previous albums. Speak now is all dramatics and magic so we get Timeless, Emma falls in love, and Foolish One, even Castles Crumbling. And 1989 is a nihilistic acceptance of the burdens of fame and how it ruins a normal relationship so we get "suburban legends" and "now that we don't talk".

The songs fit so well thematically into each album to the extent that I can actually kind of see where in the album the song would go. And maybe Taylor truly is the mastermind and she's writing all these songs on the fly but honestly that would be more impressive. I can also honestly see why some were left off. Most of them, I think, were taken off the album at the original time because they would've been damaging to her relationships. I mean imagine "Forever Winter" dropping at the wrong time and having that person hear their mental health struggle become news? Imagine Suburban Legends dropping while Harry Styles fans still hated Taylor. Imagine Mr. Perfectly fine dropping after her break up with Joe? I think Taylor wanted to be kind and not bring those aspects of her life any more into the public than it already was. And even songs that wouldn't have done much were just repetitive. On 1989 I think I see that the most. You don't need "new romantics" and "Suburban Legends" You don't need "wildest dreams" and "slut" they both tell the samr story. Don't get me wrong I love them all, I just see the creative choices in leaving them off.

Anyway that's why I think the vault tracks are genuinely from the vault and not some scheme from Taylor to, idk, get people to be more interested in the most anticipated rereleases of all time. It doesn't make sense.

#taylor swift #1989 tv

[havealastkiss]

every person i see being like “she ruined X song on speak now tv i’m just gonna listen to the stolen one” makes my blood boil, the purpose of the re-recordings is not to “improve” or “worsen” the songs, the whole reason for these albums is so that she owns HER work, the one that was stolen from her without her even knowing it was happening

we know how important it is for us to support her in this because you see how the minute the fans said they didn’t like the lyric change in better than revenge the media already took that as a chance to hate on the re-recordings? and taylor herself has also said that hadn’t it been because of the fans’ support and encouragement she wouldn’t be re-recording her albums and halfway through the process of owning the music she made throughout the ages 13-25 about her own life

and honestly? she didn’t need to do all this, had it been another person and they would just put them out all together without any kind of special treatment, but she does treat these albums like normal album releases, she does photoshoots, new album covers, she adds songs that she had not added to the original album back in the day, she does (or used to do) the vault opening for us to guess the song titles, she demonstrates every second of every day that this is a project she is so proud of and it is very dear to her because, after all, these songs are her life… like literally

i don’t care if you like it or not, everyone has their own opinions and that is totally fine, but listening to the stolen versions is plain disrespect and, frankly, just cruel

#taylor swift #speak now tv #.txt #rant #if it’s important to her it’s important to me #also complaining about her voice not sounding youthful- that’s the whole point of growing up? #blame time idek but stop finding every single meaningless detail to complain about

[torturedsideblogdept]

I’m so sleep deprived, so this is truly a junk drawer post, but I’m not done talking about Taylor Swift and literary alchemy!!

Like can we just talk about the fact that the proper name for the alchemical process is magnum opus and how that term is commonly used to refer to an artist’s masterpiece that is most representative of them and their journey or the most important to them?

Is it possible that we’ll find that the title “The Alchemy” could be substituted by “The Great Work” or “The Magnum Opus”? That provides so much fuel for predictions about the song.

“Daylight” has been discussed as being connected to “The Alchemist” because of the mention of gold and to “Red” because of mention of red, but can we talk about how it specifically references ALL the colors of the three stages of alchemy in order (I once believed love would be black and white […] I once believed love would be burning red, but it’s golden”)?

And can we talk about the album colors and how they tie in to alchemy? If Reputation was the black stage, next comes white, right? But Lover isn’t white, even though that seems like the vibe it was going for—perhaps white was the stage Taylor wanted or believed it to be in her life and/or music career, but as the Apple Music “I Love You, It’s Ruining My Life” playlist tell us, Lover was mostly denial—nor is Midnights, which harkens back to the darkness. TTPD is the white stage—the purification and refinement (i.e., removing what doesn’t belong…just sayin).

What comes next, then? Either one (red, most likely) or two (yellow and red) final stages. Philosophically, the yellowing, cintrinitas represents an awakening, and the reddening/rubedo “stage entails the attempt of the alchemist to integrate the psychospiritual outcomes of the process into a coherent sense of self before its re-entry to the world” (Wikipedia). If it’s two, well, bring on the two ✌️ theories!

I think there probably are multiple correct answers here for how what’s to come next relates to alchemy, because it’s like that, and very layered (I mean, literary alchemy started as satire of alchemy before it became serious themes and tropes and story structures and the names of mentors in Harry Potter).

What speaks to me the most in regards to twos and alchemy is that she has two re-recorded albums to release to complete the Taylor’s Version project. Is Taylor’s Version her magnum opus, her hero’s journey?

If there’s just the one final alchemical stage to follow TTPD, will that yellow/red phase be the next new album and our mystery orange door? Whether or not the Karma theories have a factual basis, we know Taylor takes inspiration from fan theories, as most recently evidenced by the grief playlists. Could the concept of Karma—the orange (yellow+red) album that was waylaid by the blackening (Reputation) and burned down in the subsequent attempted whitening (Lover) which left us back at the dark stage (Midnights [leaving folkmore out because they’re not overall autobiographical and weren’t planned, so there wasn’t an intention to move/transform into the next stage, if that makes sense?])—be used by Taylor to represent that the end of this alchemical process is getting back on track for what she had planned before the Taylor Swift Is Over Party and/or Joe? Or, if that potential album indeed burned down completely with the rest of the Lover house, will whatever her next album after TTPD be rising in some way from those ashes?

Okay I’m officially deliriously tired now to where I can’t read what I’m writing as I write it, so I’m going to pause here tonight before my theories totally lose the plot, but please continue and add your thoughts/ideas!!

#Taylor swift #ttpd #ts11 #alchemy #the tortured poets department #ts11 theories #the alchemy #ttpd theories #lyric analysis #ts lover #ts reputation #ts midnights #daylight taylor swift #afterglow taylor swift #ts red #reputation taylor’s version #reputation tv #rep taylor’s version #ts karma #lover house #orange door #from the junk drawer

[cyarskaren52]

The 10 Best Sexy Christmas Songs, Ranked

Kayla Kibbe

Friends, it’s that time of year again, by which I of course mean time for me and my former-Catholic-school irreverence to ruin the holiest of holy days by making it a sex thing. As we here at Cosmo have so generously demonstrated over the years, there are plenty of ways one can go about doing this, like giving the internet a veryintimately detailed description of how much you want to fuck the Grinch, or ranking his fellow Christmas movie villains on their comparative bangability. 

But, as Taylor Swift might say, don’t blame me. In case you haven’t noticed, Christmas was weirdly horny well before I got here. There’s Santa’s obvious sugar daddy thing, literally so, somuch more yuletide pornography than anyone could possibly want, plus whatever’s going on with The Rockettes, which, as far as I can tell, is a supposedly family-friendly spectacle that seems to center on sexy dancing ladies with legs for days, just saying. (Christmas is a horny and confusing time, isn’t it? Don’t worry, it’ll all be over soon.) And then, of course, there’s the sexy Christmas songs. 

Horny holiday music tends to represent a particularly unhinged subgenre of this seasonal catalog, anchored by kind-of-cringe classics like “Santa Baby” and the one where the kid catches his parents making out—which, literally why? I hate absolutely every aspect of that song and have never met a single person who feels differently. If you are that person, please let me know what I’m missing. JK, please never attempt to contact me—we are not the same and I want nothing TF to do with you and your rancid taste in Christmas music.

More From Cosmopolitan

 

Anywayyy, I’m happy to report that in more recent years, unnecessarily sexy Christmas songs have gone through a pretty substantial glow up. I’m not saying many of them are really any more hinged, per se, than their predecessors. But they’re definitely better. And so, I, your resident chief of sexually-charged Christmas content, present to you my official ranking of the best, not-cringe sexy Christmas songs. May this soundtrack bring you peace as we all navigate this horny and confusing time together.

10. Santa Tell Me (Naughty Version) — Ariana Grande

Look, I’m just gonna say it: Ariana fully phoned it the fuck in on this one. When I first heard she was releasing a sexed-up version of this 2014 instant classic nine years after its OG release, I was like, “Wow, maybe a horny ‘Santa Tell Me’ is what my life has been missing for the past near-decade. Save me, horny ‘Santa Tell Me.’” And then she gave us two lines. TWO. LINES. That’s it. The entire rest of the song is exactly the same. She didn’t even throw in a fun and flirty outro. Nothing. Listen, ordinarily I respect Ariana’s quiet-quitting-coded choice to blissfully ignore her fans’ increasingly thirsty pleas for new music while she’s busy banging SpongeBob and being blonde. But this time, frankly, I expected more. The only reason this half-assed cash-grab even made this list is because I still respect Ariana’s reign as the rightful Queen of Christmas Pop (sorry, Mariah), but honestly, I fear her throne may be in danger after this travesty. I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.

9. Santa Baby — Ariana Grande, Liz Gillies

Okay I know I just called ”Santa Baby” cringe, which it is. But as far as renditions of this immortal ode to wanting to fuck Santa go, the Ariana and Liz Gillies version is superior. (Obviously Eartha Kitt’s reigns supreme, but I’m talking modern-day covers.) On a semi-unrelated note, I would also like to take a moment here to shout out baby Taylor Swift’s version, which is rendered remarkably sexless thanks to Debut Era Tay’s faux twang. Trust me, nothing sucks the sex out of things quite like a fake-ass country accent, which ends up making this song more cute than horny and thus...actually kind of better?

8. Glittery — Kacey Musgraves

This 2019 banger isn’t suuuper horny, sure, but it is at least a little bit sexually suggestive. I mean, getting shaken up and turned upside down by a lover doesn’t not sound kinky.

7. Cozy Little Christmas — Katy Perry 

“A little whisky, we’re getting frisky,” and by “we,” Katy Perry apparently means she and Santa, with whom she enjoys a nude couple’s massage in the predictably over-the-top music video for this playfully flirty little number. TBH, I’m kind of surprised Katy Perry, queen of campy horn, hasn’t blessed us with anything more explicit in the holiday music department, but this will have suffice until she sees fit to drop a festive version of ”Peacock.” (“I wanna see your...yule log?” Just a suggestion!)

6. ’Tis the Damn Season — Taylor Swift

Okay, so this isn’t really a Christmas song in the traditional sense, nor is it really horny in the typical tongue-in-cheek kinda way that defines this subgenre. What it is, however, is a song about banging your high school ex when you go home for the holidays and also yearning, which I think definitely qualifies it for this list. If you feel differently, kindly submit a formal complaint to Kayla @ JK, don’t contact me dot com.

5. Buy Me Presents — Sabrina Carpenter

In which this rising Queen of Horny Christmas (Ariana, watch your back), implores her lover to drink her like a glass of warm milk and keep her “stocking” filled, because if he doesn’t deliver she’ll just fuck Santa instead. Ladies, it never hurts to remind your man that you have Other! Options!

4. December — Ariana Grande

Ah, yes, Christmas & Chill, the EP of exclusively horny Christmas bangers that cemented Ariana’s (ahem, now wavering!) status as the true Queen of Christmas Pop. Merry Christmas, here I am boy, indeed.

3. Wit It This Christmas — Ariana Grande 

In which Ariana dares to ask the question on all of our horny, confused minds this time of year: “Are you down for some of these milk and cookies?”

2. Christmas Tree — Lady Gaga ft. Space Cowboy

My elder Gen Z is showing with this one, but listen—if you, like me, were in sixth grade when this song came out, it was a whole damn thing. Like, your crush Tyler probably played it for you on his iPod Shuffle at recess and you smiled knowingly at the lyrics even though you weren’t really quite sure how to decipher all this horny holiday innuendo because you were 11 and hadn’t 100 percent figured out how sex works yet, but also because it turns out sexual innuendo in Christmas music is pretty much borderline nonsensical as a rule. Which brings us to….

1. A Nonsense Christmas — Sabrina Carpenter

Ariana, take notes. This is how you sex up a re-release of an existing song, okay? Sabrina committed to the damn bit on this one and she nailed it. She did not have to go this hard, but she did. And, that, friends, is the true spirit of horny Christmas.

Kayla Kibbe (she/her) is the Associate Sex and Relationships Editor at Cosmopolitan US, where she covers all things sex, love, dating and relationships. She lives in Astoria, Queens and probably won’t stop talking about how great it is if you bring it up. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram. 

Sent from my iPhone

[harrytea]

https://www.tumblr.com/harrytea/735722070686760960/questions-for-any-hardcore-larries-out-there-why

OG anon here again! this is my response to (cc-horan)

1. Because of the literal PLETHORA of proof. The DOZENS of songs for each other with no other explanation. [like no shade to taylor swift but man if you think Harry meant her with "same white shirt couple more tattoos" please.] And the fact that Man mans wears the same shade of blue EVERY. FUCKING. TIME. The tattoos? All the reciepts of people who have apparently seen them (i understand not all will be true but statistically, a few should be, and that's enough). As for me to stop believing, not unless one of them gets married to someone else will I stop believing. Stunts have ruined the idea of relationships for them for me. So yeah.

this goes back to my 10th point. which you didn't really answer.

4. BWAHAHA the same thing i have to say to Hendall, and Holivia and whatever the fuck Harry's PR with Taylor (russell) . It's a business babe. Have you seen the dozens of videos oh them during the 1d days when they'd look at management after every move? Them telling Louis to move a bit further away? please.

again this goes back to my 10th point

5. Well have you ever noticed Harry's so called 'relationships' tend to be with women who have project scoming out soon? And the 'relationship' ends when the project is released? Yeah. Enough said.

Harry would not be in a 2 year long relationship willing spending most of his time and holidays with someone that was only used for business. And his relationship with camille was completely different than what you're implying.

6. Nope.

You were hypocritical through all of holivia.

 "I have a private life. You just don’t know about it.” To quote Harry. Have no fucking idea who thinks he's trans, god please (fully support trans people, again, don't come at me) but who the hell has that theory. About Larry proofs. Darling Anon, there's a 2:25:01 long compilation on YouTube. We didn't make that shit up.

exactly if antis wouldn't know about his private life neither would larries. you're contradicting yourself. The trans theories are a thing a simple look on twitter can tell you that. "Darling Anon, there's a 2:25:01 long compilation on YouTube. We didn't make that shit up." Thats subjective. and pls don't call me darling.

11. Well then you explain why they'd sing to that box pointedly when there's a whole stadium in front of them. With tears? Ik we sound a bit, excited but its just our opinion is all.

The thing is y'all never take into account how the video is being filmed. I mean that in the sense areas are large with multiple different angles from where you're seating. you truly have no idea what's he's looking at. IE. he was singing cherry to a fan but other mistook it for him singing it to olive based on the angel it was recorded at.

You didn't really answer my questions tbh and everything you said goes back to my 10th point. Also there's no need for the attitude, I came in peace wanting to see how carries would answer the question.

There are some people that do think he's trans I remember seeing some tweets about during lockdown

[themidnightcircusshow]

I don’t know why, but recently I’ve been thinking a lot about toxic fame, how it destroys a person for the sake of an image, etc. Maybe it’s because two creators I like quit in 2021, at least in part because being in the public eye was destroying their mental health. Maybe it’s because one of my favourite actors, who always struggled with fame and the nature of celebrity, died two months ago. Maybe it’s because one of the actors in my current fandom is probably the current ‘fame ruined my life’ poster boy. 

(This is a lot of preamble for a song review. Anyway)

I’ve said before that my favourite ‘genre’ of song is when the artist is essentially has a mental breakdown during it. I can’t exactly pinpoint why-- they’re great songs to have breakdowns to, but that’s not their only appeal. It’s a special kind of catharsis, sort of like the climax in a musical. 

It’s also very hard to do. Celebrities-- especially the more famous they are-- love to make art about how hard it is to be a celebrity. But 9 times out of 10 they suck at it. I think the reason why is that often they come at it from an angle of being ‘above’ it. They’re going out of their way to show how nothing hurts them, their life is perfect, and they think about ‘haters’ so little that they write entire albums on it (hi Taylor). It’s hollow posturing, and annoying from both angles: it simultaneously works to make them look up themselves and insecure at the same time. When they do try to evoke sympathy, often it’s (accidentally or not) couched in a humble brag that inadvertently reveals just how privileged they are. No matter how real the emotions behind it, how justified they are in their position, trying to write about how much people should pity you for being wealthy and famous etc etc tends to just put people off more. 

It’s why I loved ‘Thank U’ so much last year. It’s not a song that’s trying to prove something. It’s not even trying to evoke sympathy from the audience. You have to know a lot about Yunho to feel the full impact of most of the lyrics, and when you don’t (even when you do), you can fully appreciate the Michael Carleone-esque character he’s created for it. (Honestly, that song couldn’t not have the mv it did. Of course this is the theme song of a gangster looking for revenge. What else could it be?). But even at it’s most cool, it’s arguable arrogance, it’s entire theme is that to be the best you have to sacrifice everything else. Your trust in others, your trust in yourself, your attachments, and people will stab you in the back the first chance they get. It’s a good song no matter what, but it gets a lot more kick out of being by a man who was on the wrong end of a smear campaign by members of the group he led. It certainly gets more when you remember that Jung Yunho has more right to sing about haters than most celebrities (no, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the mv started with an attempted murder. It’s kind of hard to avoid thinking about). 

‘Maniac’ is giving me a lot of the same. The english translation of the lyrics isn’t out yet, but the mv once again has a lot of symbolism you can’t help thinking about. The music video is a very brightly coloured horror movie about an entertainer who goes insane. Who types ‘help me’ over and over. Who has a mirror that lets him fantasise about being the Time person of the year but only gets the magazine cover when he jumps to his death (after being chased while backstage, might I add). Changmin never hid his dislike for being famous when he was young-- and this was before he talked about being so paranoid he couldn’t go outside without covering most of his face. It’s not a hard leap; he’s even being stalked in the mv. But like I said, I enjoy nothing better than art about how being famous drives you mad.

I think it’s interesting that Yunho and Changmin are both releasing stuff like this now. They’ve been doing this for 18 years, and the height of their fame has passed, but that’s always the best time to actually reflect on it. Both of these mvs are very avant garde, the type of stuff they’ve always been interested in but never fully committed to before. And the music is not standard k-pop-- Thank U was more of a mix between latin r&b and a brag rap, and I’ve already seen someone call Maniac something that sounds more like classic Queen than any of the modern k-pop trends. 

I don’t know if this is going to happen, especially before we’ve seen ‘Devil’, but my hope is that with the comeback announcement we’re going to see a new phase of their career. Both of their solos show a desire to experiment, and a willingness to release music that’s a lot more personal than they have before. Maybe the 2022 comeback will just be a standard pop track, but I so desperately hope that we will get to see a TVXQ that shows this same creativity and attention their solos have been getting.

#TVXQ #Jung Yunho #Shim Changmin #My Meta #Long Post #I see a lot of talk about Western artists of when they 'outgrow' the charts #Essentially artists who are such icons that chart success doesn't matter anymore #What this usually means however is that they get to take their music into places they never could if they were solely trying to get a hit #Think pretty much all of Beyonce's output since like 2014 #Like if you get a hit that's great but that's not the point #You're trying to stretch your artistic legs #Pop can be a very constricting genre-- it's probably the most 'stiff' in terms of structure so you can't experiment that much #(I mean TVXQ has spent their entire careers proving just how much you CAN but there's still limits) #I want them to really go for it and put something super daring out there #Because in complete honesty I never really felt TCOL and Truth #They were kinda like... yep that's a TVXQ song #And kinda average ones #Whereas the Noir and Chocolate mini albums were SOLID #I can't believe that so shortly after I talked about how Yunho and Changmin don't really have pop voices #Changmin went full Queen #I've been wanting this day all my life #(Someone get Changmin to cover the show must go on please and thank) #Anyway I'm now officially spreading my arthouse TVXQ agenda

[klaineownsmysoul]

Why does D agree to certain things? It’s probably because the alternative is worse but then I still don’t understand why he agreed to the sham. He could not have right? Idk what would have happened had he, but I feel anything is better than being married to her. All she does is ruin his reputation, and give him a straight image (to his team), so I genuinely wonder what image he wants for himself because if he didn’t go along with it, what else could they have painted him as that they haven’t already and continue to?

There are endless opinions on this, depending on who you ask. The m/iarren stans and the fans who believe that every message from D’s SM are actually from him will tell you that there was nothing to agree to because he loves her and wanted to marry her because he can’t live without her. They have a love that’s truer than true and are #couple goals. They are perfect for each other in every way and he adores her every breath and she’s just as devoted to him, which is why she follows him everywhere he goes. There’s nothing odd about the length of their relationship and the fact that no one involved in it can give you a consistent time frame. You ask 5 people how they met or when they started dating, you’ll get 5 different answers. All those pics of them together where she’s grabbing onto him and clutching at any limb within her reach are just her being affectionate. The fact that they sit like strangers on a subway during one part of an interview and when it’s noticed, the next part that’s released has both of them being all touchy feely is just coincidence. The dude bro slang and emoji filled posts are just him having fun and being spontaneous. They’re cheeky and silly. Its just him living his best life and there’s nothing forced or untoward about it. He loves only hanging out with her trashy besties and spending nights entertaining the masses in her piano baby/lifelong dream business that she can’t be bothered to promote or run while he accompanies her on the piano looking completely lifeless as she drunkenly butchers one of the 4 songs she knows and thinks she can sing. He’s just being a supportive partner when he talks about the awful branded merchandise from the strip bar during a tv segment that’s supposed to be about his career and then models it later on in a cute coupley pic where he looks like his soul has just left his body. Having her accompany his every move is just what married couples do or didn’t you know that? It’s not natural for one partner to do something without the other, especially if it’s career related. All celeb couples are joined at the hip once they officiate their own wedding. All celeb couples have a wedding - or a great party as it’s sometimes known as - that is corporate sponsored to within an inch of its life. All celeb couples who have one person say they didn’t want to be in a public relationship have a cover story done in Vogue magazine and then have their pr team make sure the link to that article is noted and shared in practically every print interview done for the other person for over a year. This is all completely normal behavior for a 100% believable couple.

There are no such things as contracts that dictate behavior and managers and pr teams don’t post things on their client’s behalf. Lavender relationships and marriages are a thing of the past. No one would dare impose something like that on a celeb in 2021. It must be nice to be that naive. Or sad. Mostly sad. If you believe that, then you haven’t been listening to the stories of celebs who’ve been closeted and decided to come out at the risk of their career. It’s a thousand times easier to market someone as straight - there’s no denying that. And when you’re young and just starting out, you have no leverage whatsoever and will go along with what people tell you to do. If you don’t, you don’t have a career. It’s as simple and evil as that. They hold all the cards and if you want to be a musician or an actor, you have to play by their rules. You sign a deal and before you know, everything has snowballed and you’re in so deep, you don’t know how to begin to climb out. Look at Taylor Swift and the mess she’s gone through with her songs and she’s one of the biggest singers on the planet. Whether you’re a fan or not, you know who she is. If she can’t get control over songs that she freaking wrote because of a shitty contract she signed when she was like 16 without massive amounts of legal issues, what hope do the people who are less famous have? Look at what D said about his lack of input on the evolution of Blaine’s hair and how he didn’t want to rock the boat. Something as simple as that and he didn’t feel like he could or should speak up. Now apply that same mentality to a legal document and think about how hard it would be to try to countermand any part of it, especially when you’re as young as he was then.

D’s team is particularly troublesome because they’re lazy and incompetent and have no interest in marketing him as he really is. The easy way out is the straight way out and that’s their lane. That’s the one they’ve chosen and they will ride that till the wheels fall off. Let’s be honest: D is all RR has. He’s going to milk every drop he can out of D while he can. There’s no celeb out there with an established career who’s considering new management who looks at D’s situation: the circus that is always around him, the garbage that’s posted on his SM in his name, the endless ads for things like ugly ass jewelry and a paid promo pic for a 5 star hotel in the Philippines from the group honeymoon (not a thing) that they crashed after D spent days sifting through garbage with women who live in abject poverty and will never make the kind of money that even a meal at that hotel would cost which totally makes him look awesome - and think “yes! This is what’s been missing all along. Where do I sign?” He’s not getting a free home reno and some TV time from the girl who played Luna in the HP movies and B/ecca T/obin - someone who played a forgettable and unremarkable bitchy blond cheerleader (def breaking the mold there, totally not a trope that can be found in every 80s high school movie or tv show) and now hosts a ridiculous podcast. So he’s going to push his own agenda and make sure that everyone knows his client is straight at every opportunity that’s presented and foist his bride in our faces at even more opportunities just in case it wasn’t clear because oh my god did you hear that D is straight? And he’s been dating this super cool rockstar woman since he was an embryo so there’s no way anything could have ever happened between him and someone else from this show he was on for a while. It wasn’t a big deal or anything. He had a small role and a love interest but they weren’t real popular. I mean if you’ve seen one gay teenage romance, you’ve seen them all. The show’s been over for 5 years and they’re hardly ever mentioned now so there’s no point in keeping them alive. It’s not a role that meant anything to him and it’s certainly not something he would want to celebrate the 10 year anniversary of. I wonder if he was allowed to do that as long as managed to shoehorn in a mention of his lovely ball and chain of many moons. Because that’s what always happens. Doesn’t matter what the topic at hand is - it always seems to come back around to her. And she just smirks and flashes her fake engagement ring at the camera and eats it up because he does all the work and she reaps all the rewards. Like RR, she’ll never give him up without a fight because what then? No one will write articles about what a badass she is. No one will be there to do free promo for her strip bar. No more red carpet pics or designer duds gifted to her. No more free trips to Europe or last minute weekend getaways with his stylist. No one will care about her super secret Instagram account and post pics from it that she’s forwarded over so they get picked up and pumped out to news blogs for maximum coverage. No more pics with actual famous people because who’s inviting a career less nobody to events? She’s a woman in her mid 30s who behaves like an 18 year old on spring break and thinks nothing of it. She doesn’t give a shit how her behavior reflects on D because she doesn’t care about him. All she cares about is what he can provide her and that’s secondhand fame, money, and the image of the best wife to ever wife. But if he was single, then there’d be even more questions about his sexual orientation than there are now and no way to refute anything. So we get this clusterfuck. What they fail to understand is that the harder they push, the more holes they create and the more distasteful this all becomes. I just want to be a fan of D. That’s all I want. But I can’t do that because he comes with a front and center “work family” that I can’t get away from.

I sometimes don’t know what he wants for himself image wise but I truly don’t think it’s this. The difference between in person D and SM D is too great for me to believe he’s really cool with all of it. I don’t know how many more times he has to say that he’s rarely on SM, which should be the reddest of red flags that most of the stuff posted is not coming from him. The fact that he’s taken to SM to rebuff things said in his name that are patently false and insulting reinforces that belief for me. He’s not perfect but he’s not the fake barely literate guy he’s portrayed as. I wouldn’t still be here if I thought that’s who he really was and I wouldn’t care at all about his personal life if it wasn’t shoved down my throat ad naseum.

Well this post kinda got away from me. 😊. I’m so very tired of all this and if I’m tired, D must be exhausted.

#pathetic and obvious table for one please #Hollywood is effing toxic #he deserves so much better

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: Kismet {12}

Henry Cavill x Famous OFC Aliya Taylor

Warning: Plot, Slow Burn, Mild Cursing, Dialogue Heavy

Words: 4.2k

Summary: Aliya is a singer turned model turned actress. Since she was fifteen, she’s been creating her empire in the entertainment world. As the daughter of a famous fashion model/designer and Hollywood director, you’d think life is easy for her, but her past has been anything but easy. Due to past trauma, she’s forever changed and no longer trusts any man that is not in her family and a select few in her team. She’s sworn off love and serious relationships and has planned never to fall again, but love isn’t something that can be planned. It just happens when it’s meant to. Can Aliya outrun a love that seems hellbent on holding tight to her, a love that is Kismet?

Note: How are you guys liking the pacing of this story? I think this might be my slowest burn of all.  😬😬

If you enjoyed this please LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG!! 😘  

As always, thank you so much for reading. ❤️❤️

***Loosely Edited/Proofread***

***Interactive***

Previous Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |

When one thinks of a vacation, you think of beaches, sand, salty ocean water that you can see right through, a blazing sun that is a joy to be burned by, tropical drinks, lounging by the pool in a hammock with an endless supply of bathing suits. When one thinks of the quintessential French vacation, you could think of waking up the smell of flowers from the countryside and the ocean salt, the warm caress of the sun as you sip your French coffee, lounging on the beaches, touring the countryside by day, feasting on the best authentic French cuisine, sipping the best of wine country offered all the while soaking up culture and relaxation. In other words, live like the French.

 Your vacation, though it started awkwardly, didn’t remain that way for too long. You and Henry had made it a mission to take relaxation and freedom to the max and, by doing so, you had created somewhat of a routine. Usually, either you or Henry would make breakfast and coffee then have it outside. After breakfast, you’d both lounge by the pool for an hour or two. That was before you found out he liked to work out first thing in the morning. Though you weren’t much for working out, you vowed to do it with him. which led to you having your coffee and then out for a run through the fields. He often went four miles out then four miles back, but when he realized you were not a runner, he cut it down to two and two. Even that was torture for you.

 Then once you’d returned and showered, whoever came out first would make a simple breakfast that you’d have out back and then to the pool. After you’d take a drive, often going miles and miles checking out neighboring towns seeing sights. On each day, Henry always had something planned. One day it was a tour of a vineyard where you learned all about the winemaking process, helped harvest grapes, and even did the traditional squishing grapes with your feet. That was the day Henry had the brilliant idea to play up your ticklishness, which led to you falling in the barrel staining your white shorts ensemble red. He laughed his ass off to that. By the time you left the vineyard, both of your outfits were ruined, but you had plenty of pictures and a crate of the wine you’d made.

 Another day it was sailing around the Mediterranean in a boat that Henry manned himself. You couldn’t help but watch in awe as he steered it like a pro and taught you the proper terms for things on the boat. When he’d found a good spot to drop anchor close to some rocks, you lounged on the hull soaking up the sun, then taking a dunk in the ocean when the heat became too much where you snorkeled around the reef. On a particular day, he took out a speedboat to St. Tropez for shopping and spa treatments that really had your entire body feeling like jello.

 While he liked to spoil you with luxurious options, he also liked the rugged things too. He taught you how to fish and took you on multiple nature walks. While you enjoyed nature, you realized you didn’t like it as much as he did. According to him, he would choose to be out in nature as often as he possibly could. You were slowly beginning to enjoy it as much as he did. A few times, you took him to a club where you saw firsthand that he was a real party boy in another life. You liked the club nights because it showed you a whole other side of him. The side that was carefree, able to cut loose and not take himself seriously. It was a side you made a silent vow to bring out as often as you could.

 To round out the experience, he did as the French and took advantage of France’s natural romance. There were plenty of romantic dinners at romantic restaurants that overlooked the ocean or the cliffs or the city lights and even a few at romantic vineyards with the view of the rolling hills and a sunset. The romance was not something hard to find, and it wasn’t always in going out. You spent plenty of nights in the villa lounging together with candlelight in the room and a gentle breeze wafting through the opened doors while watching something on tv together. While it was awkward before, you were becoming more and more comfortable around him. 

This comfort also helped you feel closer to him and though you teased each other often, said sly things to one another, and even flirted shamelessly, nothing else of significance had happened. Henry didn’t make any moves to kiss you or cuddle or even hug you, really. The most he’d done was hold your hand at the most sporadic moments, for the shortest amount of time. It made no sense, and it drove you crazy because you could feel the attraction between you in everything you did. You could sense the desire in the air was strong, but everything remained lukewarm.

 Though your comfort level rose, your insomnia never subsided. When Henry had gone to bed, you often remained up just writing music, journaling, or making things with the pictures you’d taken throughout the day. Your sleepless or low sleep nights gave you the chance to either reformulate your plan or think about your progress. A lot of times, thinking about the progress had you thinking about him, and if you did that, it was only a matter of time before your mind drifted to your want for him.

 It was funny to you that before him, you could push affection, intimacy, and sex to the side and act like they were not even actual things, and it never bothered you or had any effect. Since Henry, it was damn near impossible. You thought about his touch at every turn, about his lips more times than you could count, and imagined him between your thighs at least once every other day.

 One night it had gotten so bad from remembering him swimming in the pool in slow motion. Everything he did was in slow-mo like he was posing for some men’s porn magazine. That was the night you had to please yourself to thoughts of his wet lips, memories of his voice, and body as it moved through the water and muscles as he hoisted himself up out of the water with it dripping off of every inch of him. that night, it was the quickest you’d ever come. You wondered if he was struggling the way you were, but throughout the days, you saw no evidence he was, and that made you more insecure than you’d ever felt in your life.

 ~~~~~~~~~

-Nine Days Later-

 The night was young—well, young for you. While Henry slept, you found yourself in the back yard with the breeze brushing against your bare skin. The glow of the moon beamed down on you, bathing you in its pearlescent illuminance, making you feel like a goddess of the night. It could have been the moon, the fact you were naked under it, or the 2nd bottle of wine you were on. It didn’t matter what it was; you felt good. The wine made your thoughts flow more freely, and where your thoughts went, your pen in your notebook mapped. You got your best writing done at three in the morning when you were naked and feeling wine-nice.

 With your pen hooked on your bottom lip, you looked over the new lyrics you’d written for a song that Henry had inspired. The notebook was filled with at least ten more from the same muse. This song was the night’s second one. The first centered around your anxious thoughts about making the first move and how to do it in a way with little to no risk, and your worries of being in the friend zone the second was drastically different. This one focused on you admitting your attraction, the possibility you were falling for him, and your fear of him making you feel out of control. It was raw and real, the realest you’d been in a long time when it came to your feelings.

 The words across the page were sensual and painted a clear picture of arousal and desire. As you hummed to yourself the way you imagined it flowing, you began replacing your hums with words. You quickly got lost in your process and zoomed through putting everything down on paper. Once your brain sparked off, it never stopped until it finished the mission.

 “Aliya?”

 You turned to the sound of Henry’s voice, forgetting your state of undress. Almost immediately, you gasped and grabbed the blanket holding it to your breasts.

 “Shit.”

 Henry was already turned away, his back facing you.

 “Um--.”

 “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. God, I—shit.”

 Henry snorted then slowly released a breath in a loud huff.

 You rearranged the blanket then spoke, “You can turn around.”

 Slowly and cautiously, Henry turned to you again. With your lips pressed together, you gave him your best apologetic face.

 “I’m so sorry. I thought you were asleep. I didn’t think you’d come out here,” you explained.

 Again, Henry snorted then chuckled to himself as he nodded his head. You were so embarrassed that you covered your face.

 “I’m sorry,” you whispered one last time.

 “No need for sorries,” Henry began trying not to make eye contact. “It’s um—it’s okay.”

 The awkwardness had returned.

 “I didn’t see anything. Don’t worry.”

 You didn’t believe him one bit but pushed any remaining awkwardness deep down and fought through it.

“Don’t you sleep at all?”

“Not really. Remember, insomniac.”

 “I know you said that, but usually insomniacs can manage something,” Henry said.

 “Um, well, since I was diagnosed, I can on occasion get three or four hours tops.

 “Wow. We’ve been sharing this house for a little over a week, and I didn’t know that much.”

 You smiled and took another sip from your glass. “You’re off the hook, you actually sleep, and it’s great.”

 “How long have you had it?”

 “Since I was maybe eighteen,” you explained.

 “So what do you do when you’re not sleeping?”

 After finishing your glass, you moaned and leaned back in your chair. “Walk around, find a good spot to sit, write, sometimes go for a drive, online shop, work. Usually, it is mainly work,” you confessed.

 Henry gave you a stern daddyish look. “Are you working now?”

 You bit your bottom lip and scrunched your face. “Guilty but only sort of. I’m writing music. That’s not work for me. For me, it’s a component for my sanity.”

 Henry nodded. “So you sit up all night naked writing music?”

 The way he put it had you laughing out loud.

 “Wow, pretty much. Fuck, when you sum it up like that, you make me sound like an insomniac exhibitionist.”

 You laughed together for a few short moments. “Can’t they prescribe something?”

 “They have, quite a few things actually. When I was eighteenish, I was on several sleeping pills. I was the guinea pig, and I must have tested at least twenty brands and formulas, but none of them seemed to work well with me. Of course, they had to monitor my intake to make sure I didn’t become addicted, but after a few years, I said, forget it let’s not try anything anymore. I just stopped taking the pills and sucked it up,” you clarified.

 Henry looked impressed. “So you function on three hours of sleep?”

 “Pretty much.”

 He whistled then bowed his head. “Wow.”

 “it’s not bad. Honestly, it might be a blessing in disguise. I get so much work done they wouldn’t believe.”

 “You literally make money while others sleep,” Henry joked.

 You softly snickered and nodded.

 “Do they know why it started?”

 He was asking all the right questions, you thought to yourself.

 “Yeah, we know.” You really didn’t want to say anything else, and you had a mini internal fight. Groaning, you continued. “Trauma.”

 You could feel his eyes on you, and you rearranged your things on the table and picked off invisible lint off the blanket, all in an effort to not look at him. Though you were physically naked, you felt emotionally so as well. Taking a risk, you glanced at him and held his gaze. He was unreadable.

 “Here,” Henry said, holding out a spoon to you.

 “A spoon? What’s this for?”

 Henry smiled and took a step toward you. “Close your eyes.”

 You scoffed and wrinkled your nose before you closed your eyes and waited. You didn’t hear anything and wondered what he was doing.

 “Uh—hello? Henry, are you there?”

 The sound of Henry clearing his throat told you he was in a different location that was somewhat closer.

 “I’m here. Open.”

When you did, you looked around expecting something but not sure just what. When your eyes landed on the ice cream before you, you smiled.

 “For your massive sweet tooth.”

 You couldn’t help but giggle. He’d learned a few things about that sweet tooth over the last week. This was him being cute about it.

 “This Is my favorite flavor and brand. You don’t play, huh.”

 “Of course not. I pay attention.”

 “Thank you.”

 Henry nodded, then pulled another spoon from behind him. “Cheers?”

 You knocked your spoon against his and said the same thing. Henry sat beside you while you opened the ice cream, then both of you dug in. the first spoonful had you moaning so loud it echoed around you.

 “That good?”

 “Mmmm, so good, better than sex,” you joked.

 “Then I am sorry, Ms. Taylor, you are having sex with all the wrong ones.”

The spoon paused at your lips as you quirked your eyebrow at him. Henry wasn’t backing down, though. He held your gaze almost like he was challenging you. Damn, you thought before you looked away first.

 “So you write all your own songs?”

 Nodding, you put another spoonful of ice-cream in your mouth. “All by myself.”

 “Impressive. I know artists try, but not a lot do it alone. There will usually be a few co-writers,” Henry added.

 You were a little surprised he knew that. “You’re right. More and more try to get on it for the added profits that being a writer brings in. for me, I do it for far more selfish reasons.”

 Henry quirked his brow, silently asking you why.

 “I need an outlet, something to get everything in my head out. I’m up for twenty to twenty-one hours a day, and I have a lot going on in there. So, I need to be able to get that out to start fresh the next do, that means---I write.”

 The way Henry’s eyes rested on you made you feel like he had so much to say, but he was holding back with doing so.

 “It’s good to have an outlet.”

 “What’s yours?”

 His goofy smile made a return, and you couldn't help but smile back.

 “Don’t judge me, okay, but it’s video games.”

 You smiled and raised your hands. “No judgment here, ever.”

 “I like video games, Warcraft, Witcher, Call Of Duty, HALO. Anything bloody, I’m there for it. I also use exercise a lot. I have to work out, have to.”

 “Have to?”

 Henry took another spoonful of ice cream and sighed out. He looked like he was thinking about something, and you gave him the time needed.

 “Yeah, when I was a kid, I was heavy--,” he began sighing. “I was a fat kid, and it meant I got teased and bullied a lot. My nickname was fat, Cavill.”

 “Oh no, that’s horrible.”

 “Yeah, plus I was at private school. Let’s just say—it was hard, really hard. I had some dark times, and I’d be lying if I said it didn’t stick with me some even to this day.”

 You bit your bottom lip, reached your hand out, and rested it on his knee. Your heart sank thinking about what he’d gone through. You knew how painful words could be, especially as a child. “I’m sorry. Kids can be such assholes.”

 Henry snorted and gave your hand a gentle squeeze. “They sure can.”

 “Plus, I could tell working out is a joy for you. I’m not blind, and neither is the female population of the world and some of the male.”

 Henry’s laugh was unexpected but welcomed all the same. You liked his laugh, and the more you heard it, the more it was becoming one of your favorite sounds.

 “Seriously though, I’m sorry you went through that. I know it couldn’t have been easy to work through.”

 He looked down at your hand that was still on his knee and nodded before he cleared his throat.

 “You mentioned you’re close with your grandmother?”

 Taking your hand back, you rearranged the blanket again and nodded. “I did. Yeah. She’s my mother’s mother, and she is—she’s my world.” With a soft smile on your lips, you quickly went through your fondest memories with her.

 “I don’t think it’s healthy to depend on her as much as I do, but--.” You shrugged. “She helps me with so much, like being forgiving, being more open, being a better person in general. She gets me and doesn’t judge me or make me feel like something is wrong with me. In her eyes, I’m—Corrin, my middle name, and it’s great. All the pressure I constantly carry around is gone.”

 Talking about how much your gramaw meant to you made you emotional, and the sting of tears in your eyes told you just how emotional you’d gotten.

 “That’s great to have at least one person in your life that can do that for you. you’re lucky.”

 “Yes, ha, she’s—uh, she’s the reason I’m here,” you confessed. Henry looked very interested to know what you meant.

 “How so?”

 “She uh, she just reminded me of a few things and pointed some other things out to me,” you said, giving him the CliffsNotes version. You could tell it wasn’t going to cut it, though, so you continued. “She pretty much made me think from a  different perspective, the one that I was desperately trying to ignore.”

 Henry still looked interested, but he nodded. “I have to thank her because I’m glad she changed your mind.”

 You studied him for a little while as you put another spoonful into your mouth. “Are you?”

 Henry didn’t look away or give way to any emotion on his face. He just nodded. “Yes. I’m glad you’re here.”

 You didn’t see any indication that he was lying or stretching the truth. You did notice that the pull between you was still there. Henry was the first to look away this time, and the two of you continued to share the half-gallon container of ice cream while chatting. He told you more about his private school days and painted a clearer image of what he was like as a boy, and the image you got was absolute adorableness and tenacity.

 By the time you both walked back inside, two hours had passed, and the beginning of the sunrise was peeking out behind the mountains. You stood in the long hall that separated your room from his clutching the sheet wrapped around you and your notebook.

 “So, in the morning—or a few hours we’ll catch a flight out,” Henry confirmed.

 “Still won’t tell me where to?”

 Henry smiled, rubbed the back of his neck, and shook his head. “You don’t like surprises, do you? This is the fifth time you’re trying to pry it out of me.”

 You pinched your lips then groaned. “No, no. It’s not that I don’t like surprises. I love surprises—well, good ones. I just like to know every detail. I like--.”

 “Being in control,” Henry finished, hitting the nail right on the head. You knew it was the loss of control that was making you antsy.

 You closed your eyes and slowly breathed out.

 “Yes. I guess I might have a control problem.”

 Henry looked very amused. “Might?”

 The two of you laughed together, and you couldn’t believe the call out.

 “Shut up.”

 “It’s okay. I get it. I like control too, a whole lot, and I don’t usually like when control is taken from me, but I’ve gotten better with it. Now, I won’t die if my control is taken. Then—it felt like it.”

 You nodded at yet another thing you had in common. It was becoming more than you could count on your fingers.

 “Good for you, but I—I might die.”

 Henry laughed again, this time not with you, at you.

 “I’m going to make you a promise. By the end of this vacation, you will be better at giving me control,” Henry said, his voice so deep and commanding that your spine tingled. When the tingling traveled around to your gut and moved downward, you clutched the sheet tighter.

 “Oh, will I?”

 He smirked; it was a cocky one. “Yes, you will. I don’t break promises. Never have.”

 Your eyes locked, and that tingling intensified, making your lady parts beg for some attention. He was downright captivating, and it was so hard staying on your side of the hall.

 “All you have to know is that I won’t abuse my control. You can trust that. You can trust me.”

 You almost made the yikes face hearing the T-word. You knew he remembered you saying that trust was a tricky thing for you, and you also knew this was probably a test. You were in between a rock and a hard place. After sighing out, you spoke.

 “Okay.”

 “But, you do have to say these five words, though,” Henry said with a smirk.

 “What?”

 “I—relinquish—control—to—you.”

 With every word, his voice got deeper and deeper, his eyes more and more focused on you. It was so easy to get lost in them, and he must have known it.

“Uh—no. I can’t say that.”

 “Sure you can. I know it’s not easy, but I promise you will not regret it.”

 Your nose flared, heart raced, mouth went dry, all points of your anxiety. You hated feeling backed in a corner, and you hated giving away your control even more.

 “Will you relinquish control to me?”

 With a grin, he spoke, “I will.”

 “When?”

 “One day,” Henry said, that grin still on his face.

 Of course he’d say that you thought. “How about, I will try,” you appeased.

 “Nope. Not good enough. I want it all, Aliya.”

 You groaned and ruffled your curls, still clutching the sheet with one hand. He was not going to let up.

 “God, Henry.”

 He didn’t say anything, just waited. He didn’t even look pressed like he was worried you’d say no. He looked confident, commanding, and in complete control, and it called to you. There had never been any other man who you’d ever thought about giving control to. None of them felt like him. He felt different.

 “I,” Henry perked up but kept his eyes firmly on yours. another thing you loved about him. “Relinquish—control,” you paused again, feeling the full weight of the words you were going to release. You weren’t just saying that you were giving him control to make the decisions. You were giving him control, period. That was when the panic picked up. “Control to,” you rolled your eyes then hissed. “You.”

 The silence stretched, but the longer it went on, the less anxious you felt. Yeah, there was some residual panic lingering, but the look in his eyes only comforted you.

 “Thank you. I know how hard that was for you,” Henry softly said.

 You looked down and took a shaky breath. “You have no idea.” When you looked back at him, he was still staring at you. “Okay. Well, good night, Henry.”

 “Good night, Aliya.”

 A visible shiver ran through you, but you ignored it and turned around to walk to your bedroom door. After a few steps, you stopped and smiled as an idea formed. Instead of walking forward, you turned around and walked back to him. Once close enough, you tiptoed, threaded your fingers into his hair at the nape of his neck, then pulled his head down to yours. It was then you pressed your lips to his.

 From the second your lips touched, it felt like you’d been standing out in the rain and gotten hit but a lightning bolt. Your moan was loud, and once it slipped out, Henry grabbed you, pulled you flush against him, and held you there. The hand on your hip squeezed while his right hand sneaked around your back to press his palm against your tailbone. That was when you realized you wanted more—a lot more. You sucked his bottom lip into your mouth, then nibbled, sinking your nails into his curls. You were second away from dropping the sheet, so you pulled back, grasping to the fraying threads of your self-control. Henry’s eyes were still closed, giving you a few extra seconds to admire his beauty. He still had the same effect as the first time he’d kissed you. 

 “Good night, Henry,” you said again, pecking his lips once more before walking away again.

 Though you’d given relinquished control, you just took a little of it back. It felt good.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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#kismet fic #henry cavill #henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill x reader #henry cavill x you #henry cavill x black reader #henry cavill x black ofc #black fanfiction #slow burn fanfic

[kaylorrehabcenter]

Rating Every Song on Fearless Based on How Gay it is

Hello friends! I still have a few song analyses in the pipeline (and one on Lover the album) but today in honor of Fearless (Taylor’s Edition) being announced and Love Story being released in a few hours I thought I’d do something fun to celebrate!

And you know what? Fuck my usual disclaimer, I am the word of god here. Try and change my mind about any of these. I dare you. (I kid I kid this isn’t that serious and you’re free to disagree <3)

1. Fearless 15/10

Everything about this song is so fucking gay oh my god. This isn’t a fruit, this is a whole ass edible arrangement. As a small rural town Gay (my hometown has a population of less that 4,000 and where I’m living now has a population of 2,500) this uh. Hits.

“And I don't know how it gets better than this/You take my hand and drag me head first, fearless”

Y’ALL

The idea of falling in love with someone who makes you less afraid of your homophobic small town…….it’s getting to me.

“My hands shake, I'm not usually this way but/You pull me in and I'm a little more brave/It's the first kiss, it's flawless, really something/It's fearless”

This is making me emotional, I'll be honest. I see so much of my friends and my experience in high school in this song. 

This quote I found on genius is from when the album was released on BMR’s website.

“When I wrote ‘Fearless,’ I wasn’t dating anyone. I wasn’t even in the beginning stages of dating anybody. I really was all by myself out on tour and I got this idea for a song about the best first date. I think sometimes when you’re writing love songs, you don’t write them about what you’re going through at the moment, you write about what you wish you had. So, this song is about the best first date I haven’t had yet.”

This just screams baby Tay writing gay folklore to me, about the gay stories she wish she had. Notice how there are no pronouns in this song??? Fruity I’m telling you.

All that to say. I’m crying because the linear note says “I loved you before I met you” and I want to go listen to Long Story Short and cry now.

2. Fifteen 1/10

Objectively pretty straight as she’s singing about her and Abigail’s dating boys in HS. And Taylor got with a senior guy. Good for her I suppose.

Unless he was one of the shitty ones in which case.

“This is life before you know who you're gonna be”

This however, is a cute line and the whole song makes me warm and nostalgic. You can also hear her crying after the line “and Abigail gave everything she had to a boy who changed his mind” which makes me emo and I’m sure will take on new depth after Abigail’s divorce and hurt me even more.

Other highlights that make me sob include.

“When all you wanted was to be wanted/Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now/Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday/But I realized some bigger dreams of mine”

Bigger dreams of hers indeed :’)

(Also how can you say she’s a gold star lesbian when this song exists. She was obviously dating boys in high school and even if you think she’s a lesbian. Comp het is a hell of a drug kids.)

3. Love Story 8/10

Tried to change the ending indeed.

This is THE Taylor Swift song, and maybe it’s the nostalgia talking but damn I still love it. Written because she wanted to change the ending of Romeo and Juliet (how anyone likes RandJ enough to want to rewrite I have no clue.) and/or because her parents didn’t approve of a guy she was seeing. (according to genius, it would’ve been too early for Joe J so it could possibly be Boys Like Girls frontman, his image did clash with hers and they did release some cute songs together. However if you want my take it’s probably folklore about Emily, take for what you will)

This song has very oft gay vibes with the ‘They don’t approve of our love angle!’ but uses male pronouns so points redacted for that. HOWEVER this is a very early use of ~the male perspective~ in Taylor’s songs and for that it deserves all the love.

“ So I sneak out to the garden to see you/We keep quiet, 'cause we're dead if they knew/So close your eyes/Escape this town for a little while”

More rural town angst!!!

Nothing gets me more than rural town angst.

“Romeo, save me, they're trying to tell me how to feel/This love is difficult, but it's real”

Originally the lyric was “this love is different”. Granted I do not remember the source, i’s just lore implanted into my brain, but make of that what you will.

“"Marry me, Juliet, you'll never have to be alone/I love you, and that's all I really know/I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress/It's a love story, baby, just say "Yes"”

Marry me Juliet from the male perspective :)

Also worth noting. This is Karlie’s (and Kim K’s lmao) favorite Taylor song which. While basic as hell. Makes this cover sad as hell to this former Kaylor. (thanks @swiftgron-get-married for the tears <3)

Also not to make this about a man AGAIN but the secret message is “Some day I’ll find this” AND SHE DID IM CRYING.

4. Hey Stephen 1/10

The one thing Camilla Cabello and I have in common is loving this song, so I have to live with that for the rest of my life.

This song is very painfully straight.

How can you think this woman is a gold star lesbian.

The only noteworthy thing is that this is one of the few songs she confirms who it’s about. The secret message is “Love and Theft” which is the name of a country music duo who went on to open her Fearless tour. Which, does make me side eye this song a little bit.

Still a cute song.

“Hey Stephen, boy, you might have me believing/I don't always have to be alone”

5. White Horse 1/10

Oh look. It’s track five. 

You know maybe this is just me being a bitch but in my ranking of track fives this is. Pretty low. Maybe on the bottom.

Like I don’t have a lot to say about it. 

She’s going through it over a guy. He was a cheating dickweazel. 

“'Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairytale/I'm gonna find someone someday/Who might actually treat me well”

“Try and catch me now, oh/It's too late/To catch me now”

These lines hit though!!

And she found Joe!! Who treats her well!!!! And she isn’t the princess, she’s the prince who dropped her sword and knocked on her door!!! But this time if they come for them she’s ready!!!

Yes I will make every song about Long Story Short <3

6. You Belong With Me 5/10

Ah yes. The other THE Taylor Swift song.

You know. If I went to a high school with a cheerleading squad. And I had a crush on a cheerleader. I would blast this song. So for that it gets a 5/10. Otherwise. Fairly straight and fairly iconic.

7. Breathe 8/10

Well. We know this one is about a woman. (Emily Poe for those not in the know. Ha. A rhyme!) That alone has an 8/10. And it’s the first time she has a featured artist so bonus points for that!

It was nominated for a Grammy and it fucking lost to Jason Mraz. When’s the last time you thought about Jason Mraz.

I will not have Kaylor feels on a fucking Fearless song but damn is it VERY easy.

“Never a clean break, no one here to save me/You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand”

“It's 2 A.M, feeling like I just lost a friend/Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me”

Also this bridge? Goes off. HIGHLY underrated. 

8. Tell Me Why 3/10

You know. Maybe this album isn’t as gay as I once thought.

This song does bop though, not as good as her other angry songs on this album. But I can vibe with this you know. Why are you being an asshole mysterious man.

“You could write a book on how to ruin someone's perfect day”

This has to be one of baby Tay’s best burns. Damn. 

“Why do you have to make me feel small/So you can feel whole inside?/Why do you have to put down my dreams/So you're the only thing on my mind?”

Men ain’t shit kids. However, bonus points for the shade. 

9. You’re not Sorry 1/10

Ok, ok. Maybe this was a foolish endeavor.

Because yet again we have a very straight song. A good song. That was on Taylor’s episode of CSI. But oh dear. Very straight. Gets a measly one point. We started this post off so very very gay but damn. We seem to be nearing the end on a very straight note.

10. The Way I Loved You 20/10

Hey Remember what I said about this album being very straight.

WELL THAT WAS A LIE.

Is this a comphet album or am I projecting.

This is one of my favorite baby gay Taylor songs. Her masterful use of pronouns (he is sensible! And so incredible! And all my single friends are jealous! But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain, when it was two am and I was cursing your name!) makes the other person she’s singing about completely vague, while we know she isn’t happy with whichever guy she’s dating.

Mayhaps an early reaction to PRomances?

Either way this song is so good, truly an underrated gay gem I mean. Look at it.

“Breaking down and coming undone/It's a roller coaster kind of rush/And I never knew I could feel that much/And that's the way I loved you”

AND THE BRIDGE. Do all of her gay songs just have kickass bridges?

“He can't see the smile I'm faking/And my heart's not breaking/'Cause I'm not feeling anything at all/And you were wild and crazy/Just so frustrating/Intoxicating, complicated/Got away by some mistake and now…”

Damn. I’m imaging this with 2020 vocals and fucking ascending.

Also please watch the live performance of it from the Fearless tour. It’s such a damn shame this got cut from the movie and some woman in the front row is wearing a cowboy hat. Everyone is holding up those cameras everyone had to have before smartphones. Taylor is being endearing. It’s a good time.

11. Forever and Always 6/10

Bonus points for the ~drama~ of it all. Added last minute to the album? The iconic throwing of the chair in live performances?? All of it very dramatique and for that we stan.

Still pretty straight.

Also Joe Jonas responded to the song and why do I find his response so damn funny. “It’s part of being a musician, I guess. You write songs about each other.”

This is another song where the idea of Taylor’s grown up vocals on this is………..whew

12. The Best Day 0/10

This gets zero points because it’s about her literal mom.

Still makes me cry.

God bless Andrea Swift indeed

13. Change 13/10

We start the official tracklist with a gay song. We end it with a gay song.

We will ignore that it was originally written for Scott and BMR and instead induct it into the hall of gay pride anthems, as it should be. 

“We're getting stronger now, finding things they never found/They might be bigger but we're faster and never scared/You can walk away, say we don't need this/But there's something in your eyes says we can beat this”

“This revolution, the time will come/For us to finally win/And we'll sing hallelujah, we'll sing hallelujah”

The music video is cringe though lol

14. Jump then Fall 10/10

This song is gay because I choose it to be. <3

Like. Picture baby Taylor writing this song and playing it on her guitar to a girl she has a crush on telling her that she’ll protect her and they’ll be safe and in love and happy together. Gah, maybe I’m ~projecting~ but this sweet ass song always gets me and is EASILY in my top five Taylor songs. Super underrated and hecking cute. 

“We're on the phone and without a warning/I realize your laugh is the best sound/I have ever heard”

Like. Look at this shit.

“I watch you talk, you didn't notice/I hear the words but all I can think is/We should be together”

Tell me this is about the first time you get a crush on a girl and she’s your best friend and she’s amazing and beautiful and you realize you kinda want to kiss her and you hope she wants to kiss you too.

“I had time to think it oh, over/And all I can say is come closer/Take a deep breath and jump then fall into me”

And she’s the Romeo who's going to protect her!!!!! She’s the knight in shining armor in this song and I love that for her??

“The bottom's gonna drop out from under our feet/I'll catch you, I'll catch you/When people say things that bring you to your knees/I'll catch you/The time is gonna come when you're so mad you could cry/But I'll hold you through the night until you smile”

I won’t divulge into full on analysis here because. This is what this post is about but PLEASE listen to this song more. It’s such a gay little gem.

15. Untouchable 9/10

How does she make a cover sound gay.

It sounds so gay.

“You got to come on, come on, say that we'll be together/Come on, come on, little taste of heaven”

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

16. Forever and Always Piano Version 1/10

This song gets 1/10 because I don’t like it. There. I said it.

17. Come in With the Rain 3/10

I can see why this is a bonus track. It doesn’t hit me as much as the other songs on the album.

But damn if I don’t want to scream sing this one driving down a high way.

18. Superstar 7/10

You can’t tell me this song is about a man. I simply won’t entertain the idea.

You cannot prove to me that this song is about a man. There is not a male pronoun in sight. 

>:)

19. The Other Side of the Door 6/10

Is this song about having a fight about being in the closet? Probably not. Will my gay little brain make it about that? Yep!

And that, funky little queer pals, is my gay rating of every Fearless song. Like and subscribe, #t3atmidnight

#long post // #fearless the album #gaylor #what do i tag this for it to show up for peope?? #gay rating

[iliveiloveiwrite]

What are some good book recommendations? I’ll be honest, I’ve never considered myself very much of a reader because I’ve never really found a genre that I’ve fallen in love with. But your taste in books is rather beautiful and makes me want to give it another chance

omg no-one has ever called my taste in books beautiful before, thank you 🥺 This is going to be an extensive list, I apologise in advance! I’ve provided a brief description of each book/series so you can go through and decide whether it would best suit you. The last thing I want to do is inadvertently trigger anyone.

Fantasy/Paranormal Romance

Wicked by Jennifer L. Armentrout - A series of three books following the life of Ivy Morgan. Good fae, evil fae, secret orders and a love interest with dark hair and green eyes. 18+.

Throne of Glass by Sarah J. Maas - A series comprising of seven books and one book of novellas. This series follows the assassin Celeana Sardothien as she enters into a competition to become the King’s Champion. This series is violent, and has some distressing scenes as well as scenes of 17+.

Crave by Tracy Wolff - I like to think of this as Twilight if it took place in a boarding school in the middle of Alaska. For those that read Twilight in high school, or have recently read it, this book is a hit of nostalgia you didn't know you needed. It is so entertaining and the love interests are *chefs kiss*.

A Touch of Darkness by Scarlett St. Clair - A series comprising of three books so far. A modern retelling of the famous Hades and Persephone myth. I adore this series. I seriously cannot tell you how much I love this series. The world building to the character development to my love of Hades by the end of it. It’s such a great read, I even waxed lyrical about it in one of my Fred Weasley fics. 18+ (scenes of mature nature).

A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness - Like history? Like vampires, witches and demons? This series is for you. A trilogy following the love shared by Diana Bishop, a historian and witch, and Matthew Clairmont, scientist and vampire. This series is for mature readers - it doesn't hold back on violence as well as sex. However, if you choose to read, I promise you, you will enjoy. It is also a series on Sky with a second series being aired in January (in the UK anyway). 18+

Stalking Jack the Ripper by Kerri Maniscalco - A series of four books following the lives of Audrey-Rose Wadsworth and Thomas Cresswell. Set in Victorian London, the first book follows the Jack the Ripper investigation ending on a cliffhanger not even I saw coming. This does get maturer as you continue the series and there are some gruesome scenes throughout. 16+

From Blood and Ash by Jennifer L. Armentrout - What can I say about this series that I haven’t already cried about? I bought the first book in lockdown and devoured it. I bought the second book about a week after it was published and it has not left my mind since. World building? Astonishing. Character development? Stunning. Handsome love interest? You best believe it. This isn't YA Fantasy; this is NA and it is mature. There are scenes throughout both books that are violent as well as mature. 18+.

Heartless by Marissa Meyer - The origin story of the Queen of Hearts and with no better way to put it... it’s heartbreaking. This book had my heart soaring only for it to be crushed in the best way possible. An incredible read. There are some violent scenes but it’s YA so it’s at a minimum. 15/16+.

The Wicked Deep by Shea Earnshaw - I read this book in one day. I could not put it down, I loved it so much. This books follows three sisters set on a quest for revenge - and how love may be the only thing powerful enough to stop them. 16+.

Historical Fiction 

The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller - Patroclus, an awkward young prince has been exiled to the kingdom of Pthia where he meets Achilles. Follow them through their coming of age tale through the Battle of Troy. So I adore this book, I love this book. I could talk about it all day long. It’s fantastic - go read it. LGBT+, 17+.

Lovely War by Julia Berry - A multi-layered romance set in the perilous days of World War One and Two, where Gods hold the fates - and hearts - of mortals in their hands. Oh... my... word... this book left me speechless. It left me speechless. I couldn’t not finish in the day that it arrived on my doorstep; it’s prose is poetic, it’s romance is dreamy and I just found myself tearing up at the words on the page. 17+

The Disappearances by Emily Bain Murphy - Every seven years something goes missing from the town of Sterling: people’s reflections, the stars in the sky, the ability to dream. Aila realises her mother may have something to do with such a curse. Again, I read this in a day. I couldn’t put it down. It’s set through WW2 and I just think the plot is genius. 15+.

Prose that makes me want to cry

The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern - I read this for the first time back in 2014 and have read it so often since that I have had to buy a second copy so I don’t ruin the pages of my first. I LOVE THIS BOOK. It follows the creation of a circus that only opens from night until dawn and how this circus weaves itself into the lives of its workers/owners. An absolute masterpiece. 16+.

The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V.E. Schwab - This book has been one of my most anticipated releases of 2020, and it has not disappointed. When Addie LaRue makes a pact with the devil, she trades her soul for immortality and the curse of no-one remembering who she ever was. Until one day, somebody does. Every part of this book, I savoured, I made myself read it slowly for the fact that I didn't want to miss a thing. Utterly breathtaking. 18+.

We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson - Anything by Jackson deserves to be on this list. It drags you in and keeps you there. Why do you think they made a Netflix series of her work? 16+.

The Bloody Chamber by Angela Carter - This is a collection of short stories that are dark retellings of classic fairytales. It is so utterly fantastic. 18+.

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid - Definitely in my top 10 reads of 2020. A former Hollywood starlette tells her life story to a reporter; every seedy detail of her life including that of her seven husbands. I was hooked from the first page. 18+.

18+ (This section can be ignored if this genre of books is not your thing).

A Lesson in Thorns by Sierra Simone - When librarian Poe Markham takes the job at Thornchapel, she has only two aims. One - to stay away from Thornchapel’s owner, Auden Guest. And Two, to find out what happened to her mother twelve years ago. This is a series comprising of three books so far with the fourth published at the end of this week. This series covers a lot of dark themes as well as mature content. 

A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas - I have only involved this series here for the fact that it does have a lot of smut involved. Not as much as other books, but a lot more than your typical YA. However, these books are gold and so far this year, I’ve read the whole series about six times. I love them, go read them. 

A Touch of Darkness by Scarlett St. Clair - I mentioned this series earlier but it does have a lot of smut.

Pestilence by Laura Thalassa - The first in the Four Horsemen series. This has a lot of violence and a lot of smut. However, the overall plot is so interesting as well as badass female characters that bring so much energy to the plot. 

The Bargainer series by Laura Thalassa - If you’ve read ACOTAR, then this series is the perfect hangover cure. A love interest to swoon for and a plot to only keep you interested.

Authors I buy every book of

Cassandra Clare

Sarah J. Maas

Jennifer L. Armentrout

Scarlett St. Clair

Deborah Harkness

Kerri Maniscalco