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#because one of the rules of christianity is don't be an ass
monsterblogging · 2 days
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So I finally narrowed down on the reason why Newt's possession arc in Uprising is so damn weird and out-of-touch with the first movie.
So for anybody who doesn't already know, Guillermo del Toro is a huge nerd about occult stuff. He even gives his characters ruling planets and he considers filmmaking a form of alchemy.
He's also ex-Catholic, and highly critical of Catholicism, just as he is is critical of any form of authoritarian institution. (The Precursors were visually modeled on Catholic clergy, btw.)
Once you understand where del Toro is coming from, it's pretty obvious that Newt is functionally doing necromancy and coming in contact with a much bigger, meaner spirit than he anticipated. Very importantly, choosing to drift with a kaiju itself is morally neutral, it just happened to reveal something worse than anyone expected.
Uprising, however, introduces an extremely Christian template, one that you may have seen before if you were ever unfortunate enough to come across a little thing called a Chick tract. For those who don't know, Chick tracts are basically little Evangelical Christian propaganda comics. They are extremely hateful toward anyone who isn't an Evangelical Christian, and present anything that of Evangelical Christianity as the product of man's arrogance and/or demons. Anybody who strays from the Good and Righteous will have bad things happen to them, and demons may well be involved.
Where the first Pacific Rim is using a sort of Lovecraftian "it's all fun and games until you meet the elder god" sort of template combined with del Toro and Beacham's humanist optimism (we can kick the elder god in the ass if we stick together!), Uprising is using a conservative Christian "make a deal with the Devil for fame and fortune, get possessed by demons" template. Newt's now this important bigwig at Shao Industries - because he's been drifting with the demon-coded kaiju for ten years. (Sidenote, it also isn't not the "play with a Ouija board, get obsessed with demons" template, too.)
And uh. This little switcheroo? It's bad. It's very bad. It's bad because it transforms Pacific Rim from a story about humanity banding together to defy uncaring and cruel institutions and solve our big problems together into a reactionary narrative that defends and upholds those very institutions.
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Can Percy Jackson survive Castle Dracula?
To cut to the chase: Yes. But the more I think about it, the more I realize that he is *insanely* well prepared for this encounter.
First off, Dracula did not invite young Mr. Jackson to the castle. Percy took a wrong turn and stumbled in there by accident while on some other quest to recover a magic doodad or stop the evil whatsit, because that's what he does! (I love that the PJO books really take the "greek adventurer wanders around and has unconnected adventures" structure to heart.) But once he's in there, Dracula is delighted to take him in as a guest--canonically, halfbloods smell delicious to monsters. Taste delicious too. Percy is exactly the kind of snack he'd get excited about.
Fortunately, Percy would be on his guard pretty much immediately. The whole "monster pretends to be a gracious host and then tries to imprison and eat you" stunt gets pulled on him about every other week. Plus he's armed with a celestial bronze sword, which is specially forged to vaporize monsters. I dunno that Dracula would follow greek myth monster rules and vaporize per se, but I think it's reasonable that Riptide would be an effective weapon against him. And crucially, Dracula can't take it it away from Percy, since it is enchanted to always reappear in his pocket no matter how it gets lost. (And extremely useful trait for an ADHD teen that I wish my belongings had.)
But it gets better. Let's go into the specifics:
The Crucifix: Percy would accept it. He's used to receiving seemingly nonsensical gifts from people that save his life later at crucial moments. Plus he knows that gods and supernatural beings are real, even though he's not christian-religious, I think he would recognize the woman's sincerity in her belief that it would protect him.
Shaving: He's too young to shave! No confrontation here.
Going exploring: He 100% would. Percy never follows directions when someone says "don't go there." I could list at least 10 examples right now of him wandering off when he's explicitly told to stay put.
The Girlies: Percy has been known get distracted by hypnosis by female monsters before, but he's pretty good at snapping out of it. I think he's likely to clock 'em as enemies pretty quickly and get his sword out, at which point he should be able to fend them off.
Climbing the wall: One of the standard training activities at Camp Halfblood is a rock wall that undergoes earthquakes and pours lava on you. I think he'll be fine.
Wolves: Small beans compared to other monsters he's fought. Plus, Percy has an empathy link with his satyr friend Grover that allows them to communicate through dreams, especially when one of them is distress. If Percy is stuck at the castle long enough, then I think by the time he gets to facing the wolves there would have been enough time for Grover to get the memo and come help him--and Grover can talk to animals! So there's a good chance he can just talk the wolves down and not even have to fight them.
But I don't think it would come that. No, I think the biggest issue Percy would face is that he would force a confrontation with Dracula MUCH soon, probably within the first few days of entering the castle. Percy isn't particularly polite, and he has a bad habit of talking back and picking fights with powerful supernatural entities that already want to whoop his ass. (He picks a fight with the God of War as an eleven year old, and that's how the series starts.) Add that to the fact that he'll already be on high alert for monsters, and I think he'll be in a flat out combat with Dracula before the roasted chicken has cooled on his plate.
Fortunately, Percy is quite the accomplished swordsman. As mentioned, I think celestial bronze would be an effective weapon against Dracula. Unfortunately, Percy won't have access to one of his biggest advantages--water! Being a son of Poseidon would be very useful given vampires' aversion to running water, but I don't think there are any sources close enough to the castle for him to call on. In extreme situations, Percy does have an Ultimate he can use to call forth the sea from within his own body, but it wipes him out pretty thoroughly, and if he used that I think he would be at risk of dying in the woods after unless his friends showed up to get him somewhere safe. But even without water powers, I think Percy would put up a very good fight against Dracula and have a good chance of making it out alive.
...there's one more wildcard which might get played in his favor, which is that the greek gods love jumping in on his quests at the last minute with some divine intervention. So even if things go south fighting Dracula, I could see some kind of literal deus ex machina showing up at the last moment to give him the last push to victory.
So yeah. Castle Dracula would end up being just one more pesky side quest. XD
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Aw man I was actually going to answer this one. Buuuuut I've had all week and I didn't so I can't complain.
N.B. I have not yet seen the new TV series, so hereinafter we will be talking about the books.
I think you're absolutely right about Percy stumbling haplessly into Castle Dracula, which is a bummer because it robs us of the Calèche ride, which is our only real opportunity to have Percy use his Poseidon powers by talking to the horses. I want to see Dracula's horses chatting with each other about the fresh meat, being nervous about the wolves, changing their tone in a truly disturbing way as Dracula calms them ... and Percy sitting in the back listening in like "I'm in Danger 🙃." He may not speak Romanian, but he might well be adequately warned by the horses.
One place where I am going to disagree with you a bit is the Celestial Bronze. Monster in this setting is a technical term - a species, really. Dracula is not a Monster in the Greek Mythology sense - he's just a guy. A human born to human parents who then got upgraded. So Percy's sword isn't going to turn him to sand and return him to Tartarus, because he is fundamentally not a creature of Tartarus. Now, does Dracula count as human for Celestial Bronze purposes? Will Riptide pass harmlessly through him? Maybe not. Maybe it's still at least a long sharp piece of metal and can be weilded as such. (Of course, if he goes after Dracula at night, it'll still pass harmlessly through him, but for unrelated reasons).
I agree that he will clock the Girlies as enemies immediately - as you say, this kind of thing happens to him all the time. I am less confident than you are that he could simply snap out of a trance, something that happens neither in the novel Dracula nor, to my recollection, in the PJO books. Usually iirc he is rescued from hypnosis via some sort of outside influence - much as Jonathan is woken by the baying of dogs the second time the Girlies come after him. I feel like Percy would give us some self-effacing narration to the effect of "now you're probably thinking - why did you just lie there!? You know they're vampires! And you'd right, because I was thinking that too! But for some reason I just couldn't seem to move. Man, I hate being hypnotized." That said, attacking something that can dissolve into moonlight with a sword is a good way to get dead, so it's just as well.
I agree that he will be able to manage the wall, and yeah, once he gets outside the castle, he's a good candidate for divine intervention or just another wacky encounter. He's so good at being rescued and/or nursed back to health by things. And the more I think about it, the more the wolves being organized by Grover as a rescue is exactly the kind of thing they would pull. "Oh no, I'm being ripped apart by woooooolves~~~"
Despite his battle reflex and excellent skills, I'm not convinced Percy could best Dracula in a direct fight, but he might be able to match him well enough to fall or jump out the window and escape. Alternatively, do Percy's demigod powers let him control Dracula while in mistform?? If so, Dracula will NOT be pleases.
As for general pugnaciousness, I dunno. He does pick fights with Ares but I don't know that he'd start something with an extremely scary dude whose house he is trapped on - unless he's deliberately trying to provoke him for some advantage. He does go in for the "get the other guy so angry it makes them stupid" approach quite a lot. But I don't know if he's try that on Dracula. He might well go for the "keep your head down and try not to get murdered" approach.
Percy's Fatal Flaw (tm) is his devotion to his friends, but since they're not here that's unlikely to be a problem. His ordinary flaw is that he's stupid (affectionate) - but again that might work to his advantage here. Because he is genuinely very stupid, no one ever expects him to be clever, and he's clever enough to lean into that. If he can play dumb and keep his anger in check, he might well last long enough to escape. And as you say, Dracula has an interest in keeping him around, because he smells delicious.
So on I guess precisely opposite reasoning, Perseus "Percy" Jackson, half-blood son of Poseidon, can survive Castle Dracula
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shapelytimber · 3 months
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A Taste of Faith
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[PRINT] - [COMMISSIONS]
Ok so the concept for this piece was : historical gay nuns, and 70s lesbian vampire movies meets tes (don't ask me why- I just had a vision at 3 am)
Because I think Serana should have been meaner<3 I love women's wrongs and when vampires do the suck <3
Btw of you want to see more gay Serana art, go check out @gay-of-waterdeep, their art is wonderful, and I can't say this was not a bit inspired by what they do :))
Process (and me rambling about some of my favorite 70s lesbian vampire movies (because I have a problem)) below vvv
Additional details about this drawing ! 1) I used the same Mara design than the one from my tarot deck :)) and 2) the other woman is one of the priestess in the temple in Riften lglggigkglgl her name is *check wiki* Dinya Balu
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And now......... Some movies I enjoy because my house my rules, you came this far so why not hear about niche european movies :))))))
Disclaimer for a majority of the films in this genre : the male gaze is very fucking obvious in these movies... they were made by men for men, and the message is often "lesbianism is a dangerous temptation for women". It's a glairing flaw nearly all of them share and that sucks (and frankly it's a flaw Serana's writting kinda has in my opinion, minus the lesbianism part, but let's not dwell on that)- so if you can't get past it, it's completly understandable, be on your way and have a nice day <3
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- Daughters of Darkness ! A toxic man is returning to london with his newly wed wife, but they get stuck in Belgium and are forced to stay in a luxurious hotel. Don't worry about the 10/10 smokeshow countess seducing his wife :). Completely unrelated, this movie has, in my opinion, the most beautiful lesbian kiss I've ever seen- but I might not be very objective because Delphine Seyrig is there lglglflflllglm The best one in the list ! So if you want to whatch one, whatch this one <3
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- The blood spattered bride ! This is more of... an aquired taste let's say- but I really like it ! A quite effective horror movie, with goofy ass scenes (shoutout to the vampire lady buried in the sand naked with only a diving mask that is not the screenshot because tits), and emasculation being a recuring theme <3 (but if you want to watch it, please check the content warnings beforehand, it has a lot of very shocking and frontal scenes, and it's the 70s so it's not done very tactfully. Also pretty intense flashing lights)
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- The vampire lovers ! Ok so this one is a lot less fun compared to the other two because it's made by the Hammer BUT... 1) Ingrid Pitt hello and 2) it's such a intriging thing to see a very christian/conservative studio make a film like that. I know a lot of people don't like the Hammer movies from the 70s, because the studio had a lot less money, and were making wild decisions. But I love them, because they tend to be much more fun bloody and sexy ! I'm a simple woman mjllkklhkhlhlho case in point with the vampire lovers (although if you want a fun vampire hammer movie from the 70s, Dracula ad 1972 is way better). And Peter Cushing is there (i love this man so much-) !
And now I shall resume my quest to find Vampire Lesbos by Jésus Franco and have a probably mid experience watching it xoxo
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picklejar-hall-of-fame · 11 months
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Picklejar Hall Of Fame [April List]
There's a lot more Joel and Din for obvious reasons (the month of April was a time when the Pedro Pascal fandom thrived and flourished and I am forever grateful for this man's existence)
This is a long one and hence, took so much time to compile and organise. So sorry for posting this so late, but I do hope you all enjoy these as much as I did.
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Din Djarin
Din prompt request - @mewhenimsad - If I had a coin for every time I wanted a Mandalorian who is determined to drop to his knees and make a mess out of me, I'd have treasure chests that even Captain Jack Sparrow would want to steal. Be cautioned; Panties may melt🔥
Jetii Queen - @mewhenimsad - A protective King who would rather ditch some fancy event to be with his queen? Give me that any day of the week and my life would be fulfilled😭
Everything And More - @dincrypt - This right here😤🔥 I stumbled into this like Anastasia Steel tripping and falling into Christian Grey's office and just like Ana, my life has never been the same😭😭😭😭😭😭
Dark!Din - @mewhenimsad - Okay, I did not think I would be into dark!din all that much until I stumbled upon this. Thank you for awakening something in me🙃🙃🙃
Drunk!Din - @dilf-din - "The sooner I go to sleep, the sooner I can ask again." The way I laughed at this lovestruck man's logic It's so cute and fluffy, I just love him so much😍😍😍😍😍
Welcoming Home - @mewhenimsad - The. Pure. Insanity. Of. This. Man!!! The Angst!!!💔 The SMUT!!!🔥 I was left panting for air by the end🥵
Significance - @softlyspector - Y'all, when I tell you that this softened my cold dead heart, nobody would believe me and everybody would think I'm exaggerating😔 The unfathomable amount of love I have for this tiny universe is just I cannot handle the pure softness of this is everything to me and I don't think I would want to settle for anything less💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
Out Of The Desert - @softlyspector - I read this a while back and didn't have the time to give a full reblog of my raging and crying reactions (I'll get back on that soon), but the way this touched my asexual ass so hard, I had to hold back a few tears (a flood, really) because of how deeply it resonated with me. 10/10 would recommend💞✨💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐
No Saints - @light-yaers - I found this fic at the worst possibly timing (caught up with school and this dreadful thing called life) and I was struggling to tear myself out of every last one of my responsibilities to enjoy it because it had me HOOKED🤤🔥 Going back to read it right now, hang on-
Look Me In The Eye - @ghostofskywalker - I wasn't expecting to be hit with a wave of angst in the middle of the night, yet here we are. If you're looking for something to cry about, read this😭
Parts Of You - @millersdjarin - I'm a simple woman. I see "helmetless!din" in the warnings, I click. But I got hit with so much fluff and this man taking off his armour and it was one of those many moments when I wanted to be a fictional character so bad. 10/10 for fluff and making me feral for this man🥰
Din with a breeding kink - @dreamsofmandalore - If we're talking about a man who goes against some of the codes of his Creed because he wants to have you any way he can, then you've got me in a chokehold. I don't make the rules🤷🏻‍♀️
Not You - @theidiotwhowritesthings - the perfect ending to season 3 I fucking love it!!!😭👌🏼🔥❤️
Joel Miller
Long Long Night - @toxic-seduction - Ever since I've come to terms that I would, indeed, fuck a 56 year old man, I have questioned my moral compass at every turn and I've given up on trying to fix it. This only serves as proof that that moral compass never existed in the first place. 10/10 pure smut and I love it💐💖
Vanilla - @josephquinnswhore - You had me at safe word. Give me the angst. Like right now.💔
Pull out - @toxicanonymity - FOR FUCK'S SAKE GUYS, Y'ALL ARE KILLING ME WITH THE DARK FICS😭💔 at this stage in life, I am just accepting the fact that I am a whore for every last one of Pedro Pascal's characters and I would let them do whatever they want me.
Spare Time - @unrefinedmusings - Get me a man who's favourite pastime is getting in my pants and making a mess of me. 10/10 pure smut for all of us filthy little shits (affectionate) out there💋
Benevolence - @viridescent-din - Am I down bad for Joel Miller?😔 Yes, i am and now so are you. My dignity has never flown out of my feminist soul so bad because of this fic😅🔥
Halcyon Days - @bluebeary-jay - Ellie telling her parents not to shag while she's gone is literally peak "child who is grossed out by parents showing affection" energy and I'm living for it😂💐 The fluff also softened me for a bit also, because in that dark world, who wouldn't want to be kissing the love of their life in a field of grass?✨
She's A Gun - @cowgurrrl - I've never laughed so hard at any man who tried to hit on Joel Miller's wife Poor guy, but also, serves him right😂🔥
Radio Static - @foli-vora - Hot. Steamy. And utterly tantalising. The perfect beginning to the end of the world. I'm going to have wet dreams because of this and I have no regrets. 10/10 would recommend💋💐💞
Cracked Vessels - @ezrasbirdie - I initially wasn't a fan of the whole JoelxReaderxTess situation going on, but after reading this particular gem, I would sincerely say that I would let both of them ruin my life😔💔
Teamwork - @allfoolsinluv - I actually read this before realizing it was tied to a whole series involving the married couple both wanting to bang their babysitter, but I was all for it nonetheless. Love this💞
The Overlook - @javier-pena - I had to read this a few times because the smut had me flying high before the angst threw me in the deep end. 8/10 only because Tess was such a meanie😭 (jk it's a 10 BECAUSE she was a meanie)
Would've Should've Could've - @mayipleasehavebread - The only reason I have yet to finish this series is because I want to wait before all the chapters are posted so. But from what I've read so far, I can 100% say that I know I'm going to cry by the end of it🥺 (either of joy or sadness, I'm good with either. i just want to cry).
Because I Love You - @moonlight-prose - Overprotective!Joel getting in the way of me living my life and doing my part? Sign me the fuck up🔥 The feminist in me resigned a long time ago and failed to notify me.
The Babysitter? - @shangchiswife - Joel deserved this happy ending and I refuse to let anyone tell me otherwise. Comes with a part two😉💋
Sweet Sweet Sugar - @unrefinedmusings - One night stand turning into love with Joel Miller? Sweetheart, I am first in line and I will fight anyone else who tries to cut in front of me😤😤😤😤😤
Like cinnamon - @thatfact0rygirl - feral!reader experiencing soft sex for the first time? I. NEED. TO. BREATHE. no, because you have no idea how many times I read this on a loop because it is just that good😭
Where It All Starts - @finnsbubblegum - A cute romcom fic that is filled to the brim with overwhelming fluff and sweet baby!Sarah is literally all I needed to heal my soul💞💐✨
Joel Prompt - @dreamsofmandalore - I have never wanted to be interrogated by Joel Miller so bad in my entire life😔 (sort of dark, so be warned).
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Javier Peña
Sharing Is Caring - @dreamsofmandalore (did not realize how much of your content I was consuming until I counted your username more than three times now, I am so sorry) - THE PURE GENIUS OF THIS IS ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE AND OUT OF THIS FUCKING WORLD!!!! First of all, MAFIA!JOEL?👀 EXCUSE ME???👀👀 Working with a CORRUPT!jAVI???👀👀👀 You best believe I would be offering myself on a silver platter to have both of these fine gentlemen ruining my very existence. 1000/10 would recommend (if you're into crossovers)💋💐
Let Me - @swiftispunk - Soft!Javi? I am willing to sell, an arm, a leg, my soul and my first born child for a glimpse of this man. 10/10 would recommend✨💖
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Dave York
Appreciation - @pedropeascalsx - I would like to say that I have never seen a single second of The Equalizer, but now I want to simply because of this fic and because it is Pedro Pascal. So thank you for ruining my soul. (sorry for being a stalking reader, I'll reblog your fic soon)❤️❤️❤️
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Jack Daniels
Pregnancy Craving - @movievillainss721 - The way they done this man dirty in the movie had me fuming and crying because I really felt that he deserved so much better😭😭💔💔 (possibly a redemption arc if they're doing a 3rd instalment). This fic healed that wounded part of me and I thank you for it.
Down The Rabbit Hole - @wardenparker - Somebody tell me why you decided to wake up and chose violence by absolutely decimating my soul with this entire fic🙂 No seriously, you done me so wrong with the amount of angst you packed in this and I almost hate you for it if I didn't love your work so much😭✨💞
Afternoon Sun - @psychedelic-ink - It's like sipping a tall glass of pure sweetness on a cool summer morning because this fic is just pure smutty goodness and I love you even more for it🍹💋✨
Oberyn Martel
Eye Of The Storm - @asta-lily - THE WAY HE JUST KEPT GOING EVEN THROUGH THE INTERRUPTION😭😭😭😭🔥🔥🔥🔥 I WOULD BE SO MORTIFIED BUT SO STILL TURNED ON GODDAMMIT–
If I Promise Not To Die - @theshireiisburning-so-mordoritis - How it should've ended😭 I'm still so wounded because his death could've been so easily avoidable if the writers weren't so cruel to us. Thank you for validating our fantasy with this gem✨
Silk - @pedrito-friskito - Indulging in Oberyn Martell headcannons is my favourite pastime but you infused it with a fic at the end and you deserve a whole award for that, you wonderful person❤️❤️💐💐
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Poe Dameron
You'll Never Keep him - @bensolosbluesaber - There is nothing more cruel than a person who has no fucking empathy for someone who has survived such a traumatic thing😤🤦🏻‍♀️ and I just want to say I love how Poe handled the situation. Got slapped with hard angst but I'm still going to thank you for it.
Hard Landings - @softlyspector - I. AM. IN. AWE. OF YOU. AND ALL THE ✨✨✨LIGHT✨✨✨ YOU BRING INTO MY WORLD😭😭😭 This fic is just so so so good and it healed a wound in me that I didn't even know existed. Forever going to be one of my absolute favourite Poe Dameron fics out there💋💐💜
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Billy Russo
Teeth - @becauseicantthinkwritings - Honestly, I was not in the mood for any Billy Russo fics this past month but yours sucked me back into the fold (pun intended) so fast, I'm pretty sure I got whiplash. The idiots-in-love troupe is strong with this one and it has me in a chokehold😤❤️🔥
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Tangerine
Bathroom!b*tch - @keravnous - Have not watched a second of this movie and i have no idea who the fuck Tangerine is but i know that i would let him do unspeakable things to me anytime anywhere because of this gem right here. 10/10🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Curtis Everett
Out Of Darkness - @jtargaryen18 - If any apocalyptic films have taught me anything, it is that I would whore myself out to the first hot man who will keep me safe from hungry wolves and keep me even more comfortable, despite the situation🙂 Slap some heavy angst💔 and smut🔥 and you've got my soul in a bag and I am never getting it back (please give it back)
Gojo Satoru
Finals Week - @saetoru - Never watched an episode of this anime but this man's hype even has me peeping over but if you're telling me I have a clingy rich bf who is on the verge of tears every time he has to be away from me for even a day and has even his mother calling me to take him back😂 (even tho we technically never broke up), I am keeping him for the rest of my life (more like I can't get rid of him)❤️
lovesick!gojo - @strawmaerry - tell me why i want me a lovesick!gojo even tho i have never watched one episode of this anime😐 tell me😐 y'all are ruining me and I love you for it😭❤️💐
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sunbeamstress · 3 months
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i've noticed an increasing trend in game names that are like
TITLE OF GAME: ENTIRE OTHER SEPARATE TITLE OF GAME
and it's kinda fascinating to see! i'm a little obsessed with naming trends, names themselves, and their natures, being a subject of endless personal fascination; for most of my entire life, works of media in the US were typically given just a single TITLE. if you make a sequel, that's TITLE 2. if you make a spinoff? sometimes it's a different TITLE, but sometimes it's TITLE: SUBTITLE.
except now we have tons of games in the public space that are called TITLE: SUBTITLE as singular works!
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the evolution of the SUBTITLE component of these names is so interesting. usually it was something descriptive that hinted the work was derivative (The Elder Scrolls: Daggerfall; Banjo & Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts; Cyberpunk 2077: Phantom Liberty; etc.), but the SUBTITLE's role is changing.
here's a fun trend: games with simplistic (possibly difficult to trademark) names, with a tacked-on subtitle whose job it is to better illustrate the primary title
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is "smalland" the actual name of the game, or do we say "smalland: survive the wilds" every time in accordance with the 2005 Pimp Named Slickback ruling? do you say "divinity original sin" as a singular noun or are you meant to inject a little micro-pause where the colon should be?
better yet though, what if the SUBTITLE didn't have to clarify the TITLE? what if it could just be a whole-ass other name for the game?
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i totally get why you can't just name your game "metal," that isn't what makes this game name so deliciously weird. the name's components are clearly related, but they seem to point to different spheres of information.
what is this game actually called? do you just call it "metal hellsinger"?
is "metal" meant to hint at the musical lexicon and the game is just "hellsinger"?
is the main character the hellsinger and is she herself implied to hellsing?
does "metal:" imply that this is a singular title in the Metal series?
what if they make a sequel with an EDM or a rap soundtrack? do we get "Drill: Barspitter"? actually i'd play the shit out of that.
btw you should try this game, it fucking rips and it's on sale for like USD$12 right now
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by this point i think i got across what i was going for, so now we're just taking a tour. this one's fun because both of these are pretty good names for games, but they couldn't seem to settle on one so they just took both. i respect it!
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bleak faith is a game of putting on airs; it wears the trappings of a soulsborne but like most derivative soulsbornes, it assigns its own rules to combat, character building, etc.
it also wears the trappings of my favorite TITLE: SECOND TITLE naming convention, but decides to toss the rules out the fucking window. there is no other Bleak Faith game, so this isn't simply the "Forsaken" offering of that series. and "Forsaken" kinda illustrates "Bleak Faith" like, a little? it pays lip service to it? they both give vaguely Judeo-Christian vibes but honestly the Forsaken bit isn't pulling a lot of weight here.
if Read Only Memories glommed on to two perfectly serviceable titles, this is a great example of a game that really only needed one. "Bleak Faith" sounds pretty cool; "Bleak Faith: Forsaken" sounds like i'm about to enjoy 2-3 hours of a 20-hour indie title
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and yet Faith: The Unholy Trinity says "ah but what if the game's primary title was so meaningless you literally couldn't even hold it in your head?" i don't know about you but i am looking at this screenshot i took from Steam myself, i'm reading the name, and my brain is still telling me that this game is called "The Unholy Trinity."
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now we're talking! these ones are fun because the subtitle isn't a subtitle at all, it's describing what the game is like - and yet you gotta have it there. it's a style thing.
remember when you'd fire up Metal Gear Solid and it'd SLAM the title on the screen and then there was that stylish "TACTICAL ESPIONAGE ACTION" thing at the bottom alongside some minimal katakana? fucking peak aesthetics
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this is a game name that feels like there should be a colon there. it absolutely should be called "Bomb Rush: Cyberfunk". artistic integrity, and a less-than-subtle nod to the precursor (Jet Set Radio) have rescued this title from the Tyranny of the Colon.
unfortunately the latte i made this morning has not rescued me from the Tyranny of the Colon, so if you'll excuse me this is probably a good place to stop
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rhodesmusic · 5 months
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jesus christ impaled on a wednesday i hate hate HATE it when christianity is brought into mathematics. people pushing their agenda by saying shit like "this beautiful mathematical thing proves the existence of GOD" or "GOD made math and we're just discovering it". that is SO fucking rancid for so many reasons and half the time the people that say those kinds of things hold math in a purely qualitative sence in their mind, thinking that because they got a mandelbrot zoom in their reccomended they eat breathe and shit math out their asshole on the spiritual level
no matter how hard our education systems bastardize the subject, compressing their concepts into a pristine meaninglessness to cull the young person's imagination across the land, nor how well their nouns verbs and adjectives describe what we see in the universe, mathematics at it's heart is a form of SELF EXPRESSION. nothing, NOTHING I SAY in this world we live in would be as FUCKING PSYCHOTIC as to suggest us to dwell over how a bunch of IMAGINARY IDEAS relate to one another along patterns and symmetries, other than OURSELVES. we started doing math because it offers a kind of fulfillment unlike any other artform. the difference between mathematics and other arts is that our culture doesn't see it as one.
mathematics is not about facts, or even worse, about "rules", but rather about the IDEAS that went into drawing such conclusions. similarly, the only thing more beautiful than math's polyhedra, infinitely intricate fractal shapes, and other pictures such as the ones abraham and jacob here put in their thumbnails, are the MADE UP IDEAS that constitute them, ideas that we have thought up for no good reason other than we find doing so lovely. wonderful. fulfilling and completing.
if some BRICK LICKER named EZEKIEL went out to an art fair and proclaimed with their righteous ass vocal cords, "all these paintings, all these works of art, all of these were drawn by GOD and HERE'S WHY", they'd rightfully be told to go off and HUFF DICK, but when it's mathematics it passes with nodding heads because our culture doesn't see math as any kind of self-expression, instead as a bunch of statements and sedentary pictures to worship, bend over, and take cock for to achieve some higher level of virtuosity.
"but how can the Mandelbrot set have infinite complexity as you zoom into it, that has to be god right there!!!" perhaps if you ever pondered the distinguishing complex numbers, how recursive processes ballet with its algebraic structure, the geometry unfolding into chaos along an infinitesimal boundary, all things that DON'T ACTUALLY FUCKING EXIST IN OUR WORLD BUT WILL STILL BE THOUGHT OF FOR OUR SAKES, LEST WE LET THE IDEA GO COLD AS WE SHIVER IN THE ABSENCE OF THE WARMTH OF ITS SIMPLE CHARM, then you wouldn't resort to implementing an omnipotent figure in order to fulfill your inclination to have the wonder be explained by anything besides the creativity of humans.
oh, but questioning the words of the bible? now that's sacrilege.
HOLY SHIT.
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mountingpulisic · 1 year
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YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING ME?
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part one
tequila had always been your choice of alcohol when you wanted to forget. each shot representing a memory of yours that you wish you could erase from your brain. 
one for the look on christian’s face when you whispered those three little words.
one for how quickly he had gotten dressed and sped out of your flat.
one for the heartbreak that came along with the silence after the door closed. 
you weren’t blind, you had noticed him the second he came in following behind ben and mason. the three stooges, you used to call them. 
your eyes scanned over his club attire, mentally cursing yourself on how no matter how much you hated him right now, he still could cause your heart to flutter. 
you didn't know exactly when you started to fall for the former german player, had it been when the two of you binge watched gilmore girls and he agreed with you that logan was the better option for rory?  
was it when he showed up with a bag of nando’s when you absentmindedly told him you had been craving it since the arrival of your period? 
or was it that night at kai’s dinner party where he told your group of friends during a game of fuck, marry, kill that he’d marry you in a heartbeat. saying you were the most beautiful woman he has ever laid eyes on.
 you are positive that is what did it for you. 
not wanting to be faced with the constant reminder of your failed situationship, you turned your attention to the stranger next to you and struck up a conversation. 
an hour had passed and you found yourself genuinely liking the company you were keeping. his name was henry and he had just recently moved to england for his job. having to leave his boyfriend of three years behind in france, resulting in a break up. 
“enough about me, y/n. tell me something about you.” henry said, getting slightly annoyed at how much he had talked in the past hour.
“what would you like to know?” you asked, bringing the drink you were nursing to your lips. you had pushed closer to henry since the area you two were occupying was quickly getting filled, leaving little to no space. you were basically on the man’s lap at this point, not that he minded, there clearly wasn’t going to be any blood rushing down there anyways. 
“I don't know, i already know what you do for a living, how many siblings you have, what you majored in uni. however, you still haven’t brought up your love life.” 
you were hoping henry hadn’t noticed how you were purposely avoiding the topic when getting to know each other. how were you going to explain to a stranger how you stupidly agreed to a friends with benefits situation with your neighbor only to have broken the one rule set before the mutual agreement. 
luckily for you, you had been interrupted. 
unluckily for henry, he was suddenly pulled up from behind by his collar and thrown into the nearest wall. 
the five ten midfielder was seeing red by the time his fifth drink circulated through his blood stream, eyes never leaving the scene that unfolded in front of him as you flirted with the man. Christian was content in his own personal bubble of anger until he saw you move closer to sit in the bastard's lap. 
that’s when the bubble popped. 
mason and ben hurriedly flocked to christian’s side trying to pry him off of the shellshocked blonde. 
“are you fucking delirious, man? trying to make a move on my girl?” christian screamed in henry’s face. the two mens strength combined was not enough to get him to loosen his grip on henry’s collar. 
you sat there frozen, digesting the scene that was unfolding in front of you, henry’s eyes sending you a pleading look to help him.
“christian, what the actual fuck.” he seriously could not be causing a scene in the middle of the club right now, embarrassing not only you but himself as well. However, christian didn’t give a rats ass if he looked crazy as of this moment, because right now he was pissed.
right now, there was nothing more he wanted to do than rip henry’s head off his shoulders. muffled shouts and hands grabbed his shirt trying to get a hold of him to pry him off the poor guy. any minute now security was going to come and kick all five of you out. 
and that’s exactly what happened as you sat on the curb with henry’s waiting for your uber.  hands covering your face as you practiced your speech that you were going to deliver to christian after henry was safely in the car. 
apologizing once again, you sent henry off and started making your way towards the three stooges who were leaning on a wall a few feet away from the club exit. noticing you approaching rather quickly considering the fact you were in heels, ben and mason knew they had to act quick.
being the good friends that they were, quickly dividing trying to keep space between yourself and christian. ben consumed you in his arms as he fought off your hands trying to push past him to the dimpled boy as mason stood like a brick wall shielding christian from you. 
“you have to be fucking kidding me right now, what was that?!” you shout, looking around at the three men, waiting for an explanation.
final part
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dragonsdendoodles · 2 months
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MPHFPC Incorrect Quotes Masterlist 1
Because I like organizing things :)
No Murder in Walmart
Sitting on the Floor
Stop Undressing Him
You Never Let Me Do Anything
Upside Down Chip Bag
Thumb Condom
Jacob Knows Everything
Lemon Drop Cookie
I Didn't Get My Permit
Suck It
Cocoon Boy
Picnic
Something to Complain About
Patient
A Day of Sensory Issues
Cool Guy Stuff
Watch Me
Egg Shortage
Forgotten How to Fingers
The Last Thing You Registered
Purple
That's a Cockatoo, Actually
Grenades
Can I Cut You?
What's the Point
Adulting
No Thank You
Caffeine and Sugar
Suspicious
Attention Disorder
I Wonder How Painful It Would Be
Daddy Issues
Roadkill
Like Children
Not Short
The Power of Salt
Today's Just Out For My Blood Evidently
Dehydrated
Counterproductive
No Coffee Fuck Off Part 1
Crazy Religious People
The ADHDs
I'm Causing You Pain
Cunt is My WORD, Jacob
Sunset
Morals
Mini Cooper
Dumb Joke
Power Wash
Jelly Beans?
Attention Whore
Five-Second Rule
/////LIST UNDER CONSTRUCTION/////
*cough* it broke and Levi doesn't wanna fuck with it right now
Lick Only a Little Bit Satanic And Whose Fault is That? You Gotta Dab When You Leave Bean Water Part 1 Bean Water Part 2 (Soy Sass) Yelling It's Your Birthday. Full Circle Mop Juice? An Irish Lad Sugar or Glass Pain in the Ass You Haven't Eaten All Day You're Gonna Papercut My Eyeball! Oh! Helping It's Still 10 pm Have You Lost Object Permanence? NOT a Bean Macaroni You've Met Me That's What She Said British Football No Coffee Fuck Off Part 2 Stop Tickling Me No Comfort Pull Door Not a Child Basically Cake Hugging Lobotomy Hazard to Society You're Just Weak Breakfast of Champions Gifties You Almost Got Me Arrested Cocaine, Obviously Temperature Gun Is That Cheese or Skin? Anarchy Spoons Chip Box Chips Headcanon for Christians The Fuck Word Knives Last Name The Gays Are Coming I Want the Floor
Currently Unposted:
Go to College Since You're Old, and Deaf You've Never Seen a Chalkboard? You Like Trains? Testing Pillows Cheese Part 1 Cheese Part 2 Good Place to Get a Rock I Can Commit War Crimes Matte Black Range Rover Homophobic That's Called Death 10-4 Humidity Pilot Jumping Enoch Stop Drinking Water Okay, Millard Eating You Jelly We Like Murder 12:30 Part 1 12:30 Part 2 Fidget Toy of the Day Gay Month is Dead You Have a Boyfriend? Millard's Book I Prefer "Blessed", Thanks Migraine Are You Crazy? You Dumb Whore I Want a Challenge Spite Debt is Better Not Country Fancy Boy Stop Acting Dead You're Only 5'6 You Are a Smoothie Gaytor Last One at the Table New Nike Motto Even More White Sleep In Dodge Charger Pride Support Group Smudgy Pen Speaking British No Textbooks I Look So Gay Kind of Correctly North Dakota Peanut Allergy It's Fucking Labor Day Light the Hotel on Fire You Know What Else is Weird? Enoch You Do Share Credit Score Wasteful Flannel Bisexual Not an Advocate That is So Real Universal Flannel Who WINKS Anymore? Honest Cars Exploding Watch Your Pronouns Dead Things Chronically Straight Great Liquid Personal Taste Boyfriend Privileges 1:07 Cigarettes? Nerds Gummies I Want a New Brother Out of Character That's Because You're Old Foaming? Big Fork Trigonometry Boy Voice Anxiety Squishy Swedish Fish I'm a Ginger, What Do You Think Oh My God, it's a Man Lengthed Pi Older Than Three Slap-able Catboy Homosexual French Boy and Homosexual Bitch Boy Icing Gremlin 1 and Gremlin 2 No Murder at Walmart: The Sequel Tomatoes No More Husband, Horace The Flu Part 1 Triceratops Loving Murder You Know I Don't Colossal Mess Not All Men Habit of Handling Corpses You're Gay What Color is the Rainbow? Skillet The Flu Part 2 Olives Mad at Me SMART-Smart Spaghettios Smug Mac and Cheese Ooo, Yummy You're Also Nice to Me Dressing, But Crunchy 5'11 Gasoline
Characters:
Miss Peregrine: quoting - 4 mentioned - 2
Jacob: quoting - 81 mentioned - 6
Emma: quoting - 32 mentioned - 4
Millard: quoting - 36 mentioned - 2
Bronwyn: quoting - 15 mentioned - 0
Enoch: quoting - 99 mentioned - 22
Horace: quoting - 64 mentioned - 10
Olive: quoting - 7 mentioned - 0
Claire: quoting - 3 mentioned - 0
Hugh: quoting - 28 mentioned - 0
Fiona: quoting - 3 mentioned - 5
Noor: quoting - 20 mentioned - 1
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Note
It makes my heart soft for Arthur to treat Zee so gently not because she's his daughter but because she's a woman in a time where it was particularly awful to be a woman. He tried his best to respect her as a person and as his child without making her feel she's 'just' a woman. I'm curious how Lord Father would react to some poor bastard coming to ask him permission to court his daughter. I imagine it's that best laugh he's had in a long time, straight up doubled-over with tears in his eyes. Let's him know he'd have a better chance asking her directly but considering this start he's going to have a hell of a time. To quote Thedore Roosevelt: "I can either run the country or I can attend to Alice, but I cannot possibly do both."
ALL of this. It's not like the man isn't sexist because he is, but in a way that isn't purely Victorian. He's lived a long life; the first British person we know much about is Boadicea. He is the last son of a goddess who ruled with blood, sacrifice, fear and cunning. Brighid and he will have a testy relationship, but she was the high-status centre of the Celtic Christianity he will draw upon again and again. England's wealth before the empire was caught up in cloth. Women's work created him, and he knows that. As a child in the world of late antiquity, he sat at his mother's and Brighid's feet as they worked the loom. Disrespecting women's work disrespects most of his own history. Plus, if you read Anglo-Saxon poetry, there are these tantalizing hints that women's work was seen as more important to civilization than men's. He isn't a fantastic father, but he does view her as a person if nothing else. The sheer amount of regnant queens he's had.
And I do feel like he and Zee did direct any potential suiters to him first because very late Victorian/Early Edwardian courtship and society meant that his rejections on her behalf would pull any social blame of her being a bit haughty or potentially deviant and redirect it to him where it was fine. After all, a daughter's marriage is still much the father's prerogative. It was socially acceptable for her to remain unmarried as widowed men or even just men fond of their daughters often gave them the choice of staying home if they so wished. It could be a better setup, but it maximizes her freedom. Answering a question about why she is unwed with "because I'm a lesbian and I don't bloody want to be" is unacceptable and degenerate. But "Oh, I could never leave my poor dear Papa; he utterly depends on me" makes her ultra respectable and dutiful even if she hasn't seen the old fart since Christmas. It's also a way for Arthur to keep an eye on her. If people are writing to him about courting Dearest Eleanor, it's intel.
But the first time it happened? Oh, good lord, the man lost his absolute shit. Partially because she's his baby and just absolutely not, that's his last child. She's not even a century old; he does not care. She is a teenager now she is a baby. Two, the audacity some of these potatoes have. Whenever Zee puts effort into playing the part of being the beautiful young socialite in just the prettiest clothes, putting on her best manners, and utilizing all that intelligence for social purposes, he's got a line out the door. When Zee is cranky with him, she puts on a particularly flattering blue or green dress and goes to a dinner party and just fucks up the old man's week lmao. She goes on a social campaign to get her way about something, and Matt might end up taking a nap in a coffin on the dining room table to shut it all down if he's particularly irate with her because no one can come courting to a house in mourning lol. But man yeah, there is a reason her slightly anti-social ass wears so much mourning black to keep off.
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arttrampbelle · 3 days
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Shang tsung isn't evil but a product of corruption and the environment that surrounds him. He's not evil in the sense of black n white thinking of morality. Especially from a western,psuedo Christian American perspective that so many people wanna shoehorn him into. (No shade here but im calling it like i see it nrs)
How is he evil when everyone in mortal kombat kills?
Also shao kahn quan chi and shinnok has arguably done worse
And even more so he's worked more with them,and under them(shao Kahn namely) and had no choice but to follow orders. Namely some things sure were aligned in benefit. But truly can you really argue that it was all his doing? No to say so is ignorant and undermining the other villains and antagonists of the series and their own contributions to the story narrative in opposition of protags and other characters.
The most evil is those who hide behind self righteousness and say they are for peace when they are being manipulated by promises of a better realm or timeline(cough fire god liu kang. COUGH)
Like nah guys mk12/mk1 don't make sense even for the narrative they are trying to pull. Shang is wonderful but yall missed the point even tho the storymode sucks and everything about it makes me nauseous, shang tsung shines thru because of what he represents. The story,It falls through the crack simply because of the fact
In mortal kombats chaotic and cruel world. You kill or be killed. You do what it takes to survive. Or be food for the gods. As you are nothing but entertainment for them.
Everyone kills in mortal kombat. So shang tsung killing means fucking nothing and is a moot point. He does it,everyone does it,how is he truly any different than anyone at that point. Thru mortal kombat,a supposedly Divine system,he's doing exactly what he's supposed to be doing. And what his character is designed to do. Period. So killing,moot point and argument.
Im not talking about. MK12/MK1 specifically. Tho that grinds my gears for many other reasons. Im talking shang tsung,overall as a whole as a character thru the 30+yrs the games and mk has been around. These are common arguments for that shang is "tHe EVil OnE" when there's no such thing in mks world. Truly. It's posturing and posing flowery words at that point. Period.
Stealing souls? He has to,to survive. He is cursed by the very gods and mentors that once swore to protect him. But did nothing.
Climbing for power? He does so because he wishes not to rule over. But so he doesn't have to worry about going to bed hungry,to suffer. He wants stability,comfort,and most of all security. A thing that long ago was robbed of him.
See you can't say shit about my man without having many reasons why he's not.
Could he be evil,nasty,and dowright fucking cruel? Oh you bet your ass he could. But does he enjoy it? Not really. He takes no pleasure unless it's out of necessity or you're considered an enemy.
He is no different than a hungry hunter. Trying to find his next meal or the next place of dwelling. Until he finds his true place of being and achieves a stable life.
Like ffs people it's right fucking there fine print and that still,STILL GOES OVER YOUR HEADS!
Like y'all who don't understand nuanced villains WANT him to be stereotypical,y'all want him to be easy to pinpoint. Because that means you dont get to critique your beloved "Heroic" characters. And use your brains,and critically think that maybe,just fucking maybe. Your nice dudes were wrong for once.
In mortal kombats world (if you can call it that because the world building sucks)
It's kill or be killed. Morality be damned. Shang tsung found that out long ago. Hiding behind morals in a world that could care less than about you. Gods that only see you as food,throw away entertainment,etc.
He may have respect for someone who despite all that crap,has some moral backbone. But isn't blind to the truth,it's survival. Dont be a pushover boot licking lapdog. As long as you don't hide behind your self righteousness and "goody goody" attitude. He'll respect that you have a noble heart. In fact,that may make him actually enjoy your company. But dont be a condescending jackass about your morals. And he'll be fine.
Shang tsung is just playing the game that the world is built upon. The rules,the gods,the empires,have made. And plays them well into his advantage.
And y'all pissed he plays it better than you. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
That my dears is a truly well done villain,antagonist,and just a beautifully complex character.
That's how you do or are supposed to do shang tsung. Period.
*slams hand down on table and leaves*
🔥💯🔥
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99pluto · 6 months
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Seventeen as F1 drivers
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So, my bestie and I are both into F1 and we’re carats, and this started as a joke, but I took it seriously. Tbh i don't even know how to use this website, anyway, i had fun with these. Don't take it upfront, it's silly and meant to be funny, not offensive.
Seventeen members as F1 drivers would be:
S.Coups: Michael Schumacher (Ferrari era). Huge crack that makes history ? Well kind of, just like Michael he’d get out of his car to go and beat the shit out of that one mf that crashed into him. No Javi would be in the team anymore, too scared for their life. Kimi Raikkonen type of radios (anger issues). Ultra competitive and would swear as much as Tsunoda.
Jeonghan: Christian Horner. Yes. He is a good tactician deal with it, kinda evil like Horner sometimes, but he’s got as much love to provide to his kids just like Christian with Max. He would start racing but find out he’s even better at managing a team.
Joshua: Sebastian Vettel (not Redbull era). Not Redbull era bc he was (unfairly) disliked (just like Max) at that time, and EVERYONE loves Seb. That’s it, it’s the rule, you like F1 ? You like Seb. You don’t like F1 ? You still like Seb. Unproblematic and engaged king. Also a fucking legend.
Jun: Valteri Bottas (Alfa Romeo era). Unbothered moisturized king that slays. He’s doing his things, he doesn’t care because he knows his worth, you saw him naked and didn’t expect that. Everyone praises him on how he owns his style and he fucking does. Is hilarious when you don’t expect him to be.
Hoshi: George Russell. Iconic, hilarious, massive talent, carried Williams, CARRIED WILLIAMS, nothing to prove cuz he’s one of the best altho the Mercedes is hard to drive, doesn’t complain cuz he’s EXCELLENT and races with an 8th world champion without looking ridiculous next to him.
Wonwoo: Zhou Guanyu. He’s calm and collected, doesn’t make much waves, he’s doing his things and looks good doing them. Good pics, insta feed slays. 
Woozi: Fernando Alonso. Dude will hit retirement age and still be talented, pisses me off. Rarely speaks but spicy and precise comments. Will sometimes mess with your mind, he is clever and knows how to handle himself.
DK: Alex Albon (Williams era). He’s EXCELLENT, is happy with what he has, he got treated badly when he was younger but now he knows his worth. Hard work, a sunshine, hella funny.
Mingyu: Charles Leclerc (Ferrari depressed edition). Huge ass talent (as in Max Verstappen talent, without the father trauma) but does silly mistakes, is also silly. Gets bullied by his own team, basically. Might look cute and all but can get pretty serious, like, fr, he’s talented and SMART.
Minghao: Lewis Hamilton (Mercedes era). Fashion icon, all about healthy soul in a healthy body, ICONIC. He’s just got the Lewis vibe idk like they would be friends i wouldn’t even be surprised.
Seungkwan: Daniel Ricciardo. The official sunshine of F1, the marketing face, everyone wants to meet him because he is so funny, iconic, adorable and he is talented. He carries F1’s image, he is still a sensitive person and can get hurt, so don’t, he has SO much to give and gives with pleasure, don’t hurt him (Br*wn if catch u). No one is more Dani coded than Seungkwan (kinda Seokmin too but had to choose).
Vernon: Carlos Sainz Jr. Mf isn’t part of this world, he’s seing things we don’t, chaotic in a calm way. Looks always hot in an unfair way (i might be biased). Aware of how people perceive him as weird, thinks it’s funny or doesn’t care. Unique laugh, why do they transform into seals when they’re laughing their ass out ???
Dino: Mick Schumacher (post H**s shithole era) or Oscar Piastri. He’s is the future of F1, the boy proved himself, teams literally fought over him. Give him a mediocre car he will still pull some good result although he’s a rookie, update the car and he’s a threat to experienced drivers that have been racing for years. Also Mick personality vibe, fr there’s something. Also very sweet then BOOM, he’s fucking hot.
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godlytemperance · 5 months
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npmd headcanons because my brain is rotted <3 <3
heehee hoohoo i am rotating the entirety of hatchetfield in my brain
im updating this as i think of more stuff so bear with me if this gets stupidly long
richie has audhd. i know this because he is me i am him we are EACH OTHER /j
ruth and richie met in the anime section of barnes and noble in middle school and nearly screamed when they realized they were going to the same high school later on
steph is lactose intolerant and is not brave about it ever. tries to share a hot chocolate with pete and spends the next three hours miserable
grace is doomed to kill in every timeline but it can be prevented by her best friends keeping her too occupied with mundane nonsense for her to find a gun
richie has so much tboy cringe energy. that man kins sasuke you cannot tell me i'm wrong
i have hit them all with my transgender and gay beam >:3c they're the friend group that hit their gender and sexuality realizations in waves. someone's egg cracked first (richie) and it set off a chain reaction
pete is genderfluid and usually presents masc (he/they)
bi with no strong preference either way
only recently began to dabble with femininity in his gender presentation
steph is gnc transmasc (he/she, used interchangeably)
bi with a masc preference
no matter who you are, if you have a crush on steph, you're gay. them's the rules pal
richie is transmasc (he/it)
aroace spectrum! he's demi on both ends, fluctuates pretty often.
somehow incredibly perceptive to romance unless it directly involves him, then he's as dense as a brick
ruth is a girlthing because she's swag like that (she/it/they)
pan with a fem preference
her preferred type is pathetic mascs and intimidating fems
grace is fem-presenting nonbinary (she/they)
formerly closeted lesbian
had the WORST case of comphet until she realized she didn't necessarily have to be attracted to MEN to be attracted to masculinity :3
max is transfem (she/he)
she's a butch lesbian!!! she doesn't feel pressured to be hyper-feminine after realizing she's trans, because she's already pretty happy with her outward presentation
saw all her new friends going through their various gender and sexuality realizations and is just "i hope this doesn't awaken anything in me :)" (it did)
OH also paul is richie's uncle! richie's dad is paul's older brother. they don't interact much but it is literally Autism to Autism
if the group were to fall victim to any of the Lords in Black, it'd probably be as follows:
max - wiggly. rage hatred biting nightmare nightmare >:3
steph - nibbly. he's got the closest ties to the CotSC and also we need more nibbly rep
pete - tinky. duh. probs gets trapped in the box in timelines where steph dies before him and he desperately wants to bring her back
richie - blinky. idk it's just vibes to me. he seems like the kind of guy to go nuts for eye symbolism
ruth - pokey. she's a theater kid and i think that pokey would have a field day shoving her into the fucked up and evil spotlight
grace - all of them. they take turns babysitting her in various timelines. she is their favorite child
richie 100% uses anime terminology to describe normal ass situations. he calls steph a tsundere once and steph has to act like her world wasn't just shifted two inches to the left for the rest of the day
oh also in redemption timelines they have movie / bingewatch nights!! they cycle between everyone's favorite shows or films. it's the best part of their week every single time
max was cast as a leading role the one and only time she ever auditioned for theater and it freaked her out so much that she declined the role
richie's hair is Like That because he tried to get the cool anime spiky hairstyle to work for him (it didn't) (he doesn't realize this until college)
pete was a greek mythology girlie i just know this. something about him screams "i read percy jackson way too much as a kid"
after grace realizes she doesn't have to be a "perfect" christian, she swears like a sailor
also grace hand embroiders all her clothes as a hobby! (this is semi-canon, since she has embroidered strawberries on the cuffs of her jeans in the show)
the first time steph smoked ouid, he made the mistake of using cbd oil and a pipe at the same time. man was in SPACE
all of them are poly with each other but at different levels:
steph and pete are Dating dating. so are max and grace. wholesome yaoi VS toxic yuri
ruth and steph are almost definitely "best friends" in the historical sense
richie and ruth are qpp. if they were both 100% straight they'd probably be the most annoying couple in the world
pete and richie kiss sometimes but its genuinely platonic for them. just bros being bros (they are so deeply in love and neither of them realize it until years later)
ruth and pete are friends to ??? to lovers to friends who cuddle sometimes
richie and steph are polar opposites but they love each other to death. black cat and orange cat kind of relationship
max and grace barely intersect with the nerds but they still consider all four of them to be part of their weird situationship
(grace definitely experimented with all four of them, with max's permission. just to be Sure. y'know.)
max is doing her best to make amends with the nerds but it is very slow going. she has gotten to casual fistbump level with them though!
the nerds usually just look at max and grace from the sidelines like they're watching two wild beasts circling each other in their enclosure. their flirting is NOT rated pg and it still baffles them how the local prude and the highschool football star managed to get together
richie unintentionally dropped the fact that he has a fursuit - a timberwolf, because i'm projecting - and ended up helping everyone design their fursonas. pete is a traditional chimera (goat, snake, and lion), steph is a plain black cat, ruth is a flemish giant rabbit (she did research), grace is a sheep, and max is a checkered-tail nighthawk.
any time that the group gets spam calls, all they have to do is hand the phone to ruth and they get taken off the lists the moment she speaks. ruth was frustrated by it at first but it became a game of "how many companies can i inconvenience before they stop calling hatchetfield numbers entirely"
steph braided pete's hair once and he damn near proposed on the spot
ruth knows how to sew (from doing tech) and helps teach max how to mend her clothes! max ends up being really good at it! she goes on to teach the entire football team how to fix their uniforms and ruth ends up being the honorary team favorite for at least a year
im taking jon matteson's "richie should have blue hair in a movie version of NPMD" and fucking sprinting with it. he dyes his hair at least once a year and it's a wildly different color every time
ruth is the kind of gal to love games with lots of violence because it makes her feel like a badass vigilante (she can barely do a push-up in real life) (just like me)
steph is deeply afraid of large bodies of water. major L on his part seeing as he lives on a fucking island
bouncing off of the above hc, pete's afraid of planes. these two can't travel out of hatchetfield without one of them nearly shaking out of their own skin
max doesn't actually like football that much. she's REALLY good at it, yeah, but she'd prefer to play most other sports even if she isn't good at them! she likes the challenge of doing something she won't automatically win!
grace probably writes lists of things to keep everything in order. she's got lists of all her favorite foods, a checklist of daily chores, etc etc (it's also because she's got undiagnosed autism and she functions better when she has a Routine)
no matter what, pete will always stop and talk to the homeless man downtown. he doesn't really know why, though. (ted wishes he could say something to pete, but he never does. best to keep him at arms length.)
ruth really really really reeaaaally wants to cosplay but she's nervous that she'll be deemed as the "cringy weirdo" by other con-goers. she eventually admits this to richie, who rallies the group into a group cosplay for moral support
it takes a lot of convincing for them to find a fandom they all want to cosplay from. they settled on FNAF, specifically security breach bc it's Timely (they go to the con in 2022)
pete is glamrock freddy, steph is monty, ruth is glamrock chica, and max is roxy!
richie was glamrock bonnie and he gets so mad when the official design comes out a year later bc it was completely different than what he imagined
grace eventually agrees to dress up as vanessa (she never played the games) (she thinks FNAF is a real animatronic restaurant) (everyone they meet thinks she's method acting)
they end up crashing at ruth's place absolutely DRAINED. they all have imprints on their arms from carrying around an absurd amount of merch. pete nearly started a fistfight in the parking lot with a bakugo cosplayer. max nearly finished it.
they all agreed that it was one of the best things they've ever done and also to Never Do It Again
richie had a brief phase where he was obsessed with black butler and he regrets it to this day
grace and max both have scary dog energy but in different directions. max (post-transition) looks really intimidating at first glance but she's got golden retriever energy. grace will stare at you with the scariest fucking eyes if you're mean to retail employees
steph has always wanted a pet, but her dad never allowed it. when he moves out and gets an apartment with the nerds, they all agree to rescue a pair of bonded cats for his birthday. steph doesn't stop crying for at least an hour
steph and pete named one of the cats, while ruth and richie picked the other one's name.
Mittens is the Lautski baby, a black and white girlie who is incapable of mischief. she's like the disney ideal of a cat. she's a cuddle monster and will be so sad if you have to get up and do things without her
ruth and richie are the proud coparents of Sir Jotaro Gooberton (the Third). he is the most stupid tabby you will ever meet in your life and he has made the crime rate in the household go up tenfold.
a very common Lautski date night is going to the candle section of walmart and just sniffing every single one of those bad boys until they get a headache
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Day 14: Orgasm Denial | Until I Say So
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Pairing: Jimin x fem!Reader
Genre: Filthy fucking friday
Words: 528
A/N: Happy belated JM day for u kinky ass fucks. I will prob keep cursing you guys out so you don't read....pls don't read this. (JK love y'all keep reblogging and commenting but also at the same time I'm period horny and this ain't helping cause that picture is scrumdillyuptious.)
🎃 kinky ass hoes always tryin to find my fics 🎃
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“Jimin, Jimin, JIMINNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!” You screamed for your boyfriend to come back. “What, baby, are you okay? Use the safe word if you’re not!” He rushed in at once, coming back to your side. He disappeared to grab some water before. “N-no, I’m a good girl, I can take it,” You sighed. “The vibrator is doing a number on me, can I PLLLEEEEASE cum?” You begged, your body arching every so often you got the urge to climax. You suppressed it.
“No baby, you know the rules. You can’t cum until I say so,” He stroked your hair as a loving dom would, staring into your eyes with that angelic smile of his. “You’re gonna be my good girl, right? I don’t want to punish you for breaking the rules…” He gave you a devious smirk as he raised up the intensity. You fell back, groaning as he had duct taped it to your clit and kept your hands bound behind your back. “Stop fussing, you don’t want me to get the gag, do you?” You fell silent at once, the hums of the vibrator continuing to resound as you struggled not to react.
“N-no sir.” 
“Good girl.” He kissed your forehead, before sitting down on the edge of the bed, watching you for a moment. Before you met Jimin, you struggled with orgasms. You didn’t know your body like you do now, didn’t know what you liked, and you had never cum. Then you had sex with him. It changed your internal chemistry, all of a sudden you could cum within 10 minutes. Before it took you 2 hours touching yourself before you could even get close. Looks like you just needed him to jumpstart that for you. Now you couldn’t live without him. The sex was nothing like you’ve known. Jimin was your Master, and you, his submissive little girlfriend. Well, to the rest of the BTS fandom, you were unknown, but behind closed doors, you were the kinkiest couple known to man.
You’ve done things that would make even Christian Grey flinch in his seat. The bootstraps and whips had nothing on the ball gags and toys. Jimin even had you accustomed to the XL dildo. He was helpful, caring, and always made sure to stay within the lines of your limits. Edging was the first thing you learned how to do, so this time was no different, except he bought a vibrator with a higher range for you, so now you were struggling with this new sense of defeat.
“Okay…come on…you can do it. Just one more minute, sweetheart.” He amped it up to the max speed, setting it against your clit.
“J-Jimin, sir, I can’t hold it any longer, I’m gonna-cum!” You whined, moaning as you tried to resist.
“Cum for me baby, cum in my face, let me taste your delicious pussy juice!” Jimin pressed it towards your sensitive twat, making you shiver as you moaned and came as he rubbed your clit and used the vibrator before diving in, headfirst. Because you couldn’t use your hands you couldn’t hold his hair as he brought you to heaven with his tongue. “Ohhhh, Jimin!”
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notmorbid · 2 days
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the angel of indian lake, pt. 1.
dialogue prompts from the angel of indian lake by stephen graham jones.
you're going to secondhand kill me.
this place is dead. someone just needs to bury it.
this is your brain on drugs.
i hope you really do get out of here someday.
maybe we could skinny dip while we're here.
we always find each other again, don't we?
if only i could take you with me when i leave.
you're going to have the world wrapped around your finger.
once the clock strikes midnight, anything can happen.
home is where the heart is, isn't it?
it doesn't have to be this way.
you just like the way i was before.
things do not happen. things are made to happen.
there's more. just wait. just hold on.
i made it through, and now i'm back.
it's not like history changes, right?
you don't walk into my house and tell me what's what.
pictures can do all the work of words.
you were a kid the last time i saw you.
you don't measure moms in height. you measure them in ferocity.
the shit kind of just accumulates.
it's not my responsibility anymore.
i wanted to be the one to tell you.
you're still a weirdo. you know that, don't you?
i don't even vouch for myself.
any trust you give will be used against you.
you think i voted for you?
no body, no crime.
you never stop, do you?
talking about it all just keeps it alive. happening.
this is great, talking to you. we should do it all the time.
still a man, so still 99% an idiot.
i'll walk away from anything for ___. you know that.
can you draw any redder of an x on me?
don't. even saying it is bad luck.
a lot can burn down overnight.
if i don't say it, i can't make it real.
what does it feel like to be loved like that?
i think i just wanted someone to listen to me.
in my head, at least, i'm honest. it's when i open my mouth that things get complicated.
you shouldn't let yourself think about that kind of shit.
in your head, in your secret heart, it's easy to be tough.
i'm pissed at the world, not just you.
you shouldn't be surprised about a little graverobbing.
'evil' and 'christian' are interchangeable to indians.
i think i liked you better when you didn't think like a cop.
when does your pretty wife get back?
nobody has ever said anything that nice to me before.
that would be a pretty good song, 'if i die in a canoe'.
i've always wondered how religions get started.
just because you were locked up doesn't mean the world stopped turning.
i didn't want anyone to see you like this.
captain goes down with the ship.
i just slept the night through, didn't i?
inside every compliment is a burrowing insult.
can i tell you a secret? i actually kind of like the price is right.
you just live here. same as the rest of us.
playing by the rules is supposed to be the key to survival.
you think i'm a biker?
you shouldn't be here alone.
who even are you, really?
that's probably not jelly, is it?
you're older than your years.
in small towns, you wear a lot of hats.
it's not exactly my first rodeo.
where does a name like that come from?
when you have long hair, birds make you nervous.
my mom would kick my ass if i wasn't a gentleman.
capitalism doesn't exactly keep your hands clean.
understanding and approving are two different things.
you don't turn the other cheek much, do you?
have you been getting my mental texts?
solve the mysteries you can solve.
if you don't like it, don't look.
i don't want you to be uncomfortable.
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hyenahunt · 9 days
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Obbligato: The Devotion to Tatsumi Kazehaya - 11
Writer: Akira
Season: Spring, three years ago
Characters: Tatsumi, Kaname, Jun
Proofreading: Remi + 310mc (JP) & honeyspades (ENG)
Translation: Peace & hyenahunt
Tatsumi: The smears of darkened blood and scorch marks of ages past that stain my childhood room are proof of that.
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[Read on my blog for the best viewing experience with Oi~ssu ♪]
Tatsumi: Do you think my worries are unfounded? That people are not so foolish, that they wouldn't be so prejudiced?
That even if I did reveal myself honestly, I wouldn't be cast aside and given the cold shoulder?
I'd like to think that as well. However, the mementos of those who were ruthlessly executed for believing in the God they wished to believe in, all of which sit within my family's church, speak differently.
Kaname: ... Of those secret Christians, you mean?
Tatsumi: Yes. Jun-san seems to have had a less than normal childhood himself, and so he may have never learned of it before...
But in this country, it is a historical fact that religions were oppressed.
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The smears of darkened blood and scorch marks of ages past that stain my childhood room are proof of that.
You may think me foolish, you may laugh at me for it, but I truly feared that I would be slaughtered as those hailed as martyrs before me.
At least, I did when I was young.
When you were a child, you might have been afraid of ghosts, speeding cars, or even large dogs who barked far too much...
But for me, that was my equivalent to those childish fears..
Kaname: .....
Tatsumi: And so, in order to overcome such fears, I sought to become someone who would be acknowledged, who would be loved by all.
Or, at the very least... I wanted to be in a position where I wouldn't be carelessly crushed under heel and killed.
You see, I don't want to become a martyr. I don't want to be hated, to be trampled over, as if I were some inhuman creature. [1]
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Jun: Mmm... Sorry, but it's all kinda hard to believe. Are you for real right now? Is all that seriously true?
Well, I guess even my own family lore sounds like unbelievable bullshit to any outsider.
I mean, what kinda fuckin' father would train up his son to beat the rival who once kicked his ass, right?
Tatsumi: Haha. Though Jun-san and I's upbringings … are both extreme cases, fundamentally, every family is different in one way or another.
It’s almost as if you were looking into a different world entirely. Every bit differs from the other: the rules you lived by, the common sense you were taught, the atmosphere you were brought up in.
That thought may even extend past families and into more general concepts, such as schools, companies, and even countries.
The most important thing is to make sure you don't blindly believe that your own world is the only correct way of seeing things, and to avoid pushing your beliefs onto others as if their own worlds don't matter in the slightest. Don't you think?
I believe that is the most basic of fundamentals.
Kaname: .....
Tatsumi: Haha. You seem to be getting annoyed, HiMERU-san, so I'll cut my tangent short and return to the main topic at hand.
I was fortunate to be talented enough to be recognized as a Special Student, and to be skillful enough to handle one job after another.
Perhaps it was because I did everything I could to complete any sort of work, whether I disliked it or not, that I became liked as a rather reliable person by those around me, and the work I received continued to pile up.
Jun: Well, places like TV stations'll give returning jobs to people who do good work for 'em, don't they?
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Tatsumi: Yes. The Yumenosaki alumni have gained infamy for their tendency to slack off with their work, so comparatively I was doing rather well.
Though I merely did as asked, I soon found myself surrounded by job offers.
And, as those offers only grew day by day, it became impossible for me to keep up.
The industry as a whole was within a recession, so this was truly something worth celebrating.
I asked those who attended Reimei Academy, whom I'd been close with for a while at that point, if they would lend me a hand with my work.
I hadn't wanted to turn a single request down, you see. I was still just a newcomer myself, so it wasn’t as if I was in the position to simply turn my nose up at what was offered to me.
And thus, what one could not accomplish alone was done easily when working with others.
Even the Non-Special Students, those who wished to become idols yet were barred from such a dream by the school they entered, were of great help to me.
Fortunately, it seemed as if everyone was more than happy to help me out.
Jun: I mean, that's a given... Non-Specials can't even take part in idol activities, let alone debut.
We enrolled in this school to become idols, but all we're doing is working our asses off on pointless chores.
Even if it’s just lending a hand, it's work an idol would actually do — so they'd be more than happy to help, yeah?
Tatsumi: Yes, something like that. Everyone was so motivated while they were working alongside me...
And as a result, every job was a grand success. I suppose it's as the saying goes, isn't it? "Those who like the work they do will do it well." They all were truly happy to be able to do what they'd wanted to do.
As motivated as everyone was, it's no surprise that the result was favorable.
However, because it was my name signed onto the work, only my own reputation grew due to it.
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Kaname: I see. To the TV stations, you were the only one they asked for. The common masses were merely only helping you in the end.
I understand now. So that is the secret of your success? To obtain the status you have now, you took advantage of those Non-Special Students by having them work for you while you reaped the benefits of it.
Tatsumi: While I feel as if the use of that expression is somewhat misleading, well... It isn't as if I can fully claim otherwise.
In truth, the only reason I find myself in the position I do now is, in fact, because of those who aided me.
The name Tatsumi Kazehaya is, so to speak, merely a "company". Other companies then seek to invest in having Tatsumi Kazehaya as a business partner, and reach out a hand.
Each time I receive a job such as that, I gather all those I "employ" to handle it. Then, together, we ensure the work is done most splendidly.
We purchase any necessary equipment needed for the job, and we also offer employee training on the spot.
For example, I teach those who I employ as my back-up dancers the basics of how to dance.
Well, it’s big talk to say that when I’m still merely a student, though. By having my employees improve their skills, the result of my next project will be even better.
Such results and expectations will lead to another job, and so the cycle repeats.
Once such a virtuous cycle takes root, it only follows that in the end there would be countless sparkling achievements lying ahead.
Kaname: ... So this is the truth of Tatsumi Kazehaya, Reimei Academy's Top Idol.
Tatsumi: It is. I myself am nothing special, more than likely.
However, due to the strength of all those who surround me, I have become a rather big name.
As an idol, I have, so to speak, become something on the scale of a company or a country: a leviathan. [2]
[ ☆ ]
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Translation Notes:
1. This line was changed the original, which read as follows: My parents, and those others of my family, seem to want me to go into missionary work, to spread the doctrine... but I don't want to do that. 両親は、俺に自分の一族の教義とかを布教させたいっぽいんですけどね。べつに、俺にはそんなつもりはないんです Frankly speaking, I don't want to be a religious leader at all. 俺は正直、宗教家では在りたくありません The reason for that is simple: I don't want to become a martyr. I don't want to be hated, to be trampled over, as if I were some inhuman creature. 何故なら、俺は殉教者にはなりたくないからです。人間ではない何かおぞましい生き物かのように、憎まれ嫌われ、踏み殺されたくないからです ... They did pay for my tuition and the like, however, so I suppose I should do something to repay my parent's kindness in some way. ........それを期待して学費などを払ってもらえたんですし、すこしはそんな親の恩義に報いるべきなのかもしれませんけど
2. The Leviathan in Christian Mythology was said to be a serpent with a dragon's head, alluding to Tatsumi's own reading of his naming using the dragon and serpent definitions. There are various sources that speak of the Leviathan and its purpose, including one that notes it as the "serpent that guiled Eve from the garden," and generally has connotations as "a powerful enemy" in metaphor. It is said to be a sign of God's strength. It's also equated to the cardinal sin of envy.
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uselessbard1031 · 1 year
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THEODORA OF BYZANTINE RANT:
OKAY! So I've been completely obsessed with this woman since I was in middle school, alright? I legit want 'purple is the noblest shroud' tattooed on my body forever at some point because what a fucking power quote. I submitted a google doodle in high school about her, alright? I'm a fan.
That being said, I am also recently obsessed with SIX: The Musical. For those of you unaware, it's a musical that tells the story of Henry the VIII's six wives. You know, like 'The Tudors?' Like 'That Boleyn Girl'? Like a gazillion other stories? Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Six and it's portrayal of the wives as something separate from Henry.
YET YOU KNOW WHO HAS YET TO HAVE A MUSICAL, TV SHOW, OR EVEN JUST PUBLIC RECOGNITION????
I mean this woman was born to a bear keeper at a circus. became a child prostitute out of desperation, and ended up being empress of the fucking Byzantine Empire. Justinian didn't pass a single law after she died because she was the one really pulling the strings. This god damned power couple (and their genius general Belisarius -- who, side note, literally did the whole retire and return for one final battle thing) almost reunited Rome! THE FUCKING ROMAN EMPIRE!!! And if Theodora hadn't died, they might have!
Give this woman, who passed laws against sex trafficking, a movie I stg. I will write the damned thing! Give this woman, who got Justinian to change the law to marry her, a musical. I do not write songs. I do write stories and scripts. Get me a musically inclined partner and I'll have at it!
Why are we not talking about Theodora? Why are we not talking about her and Justinian's attempts to reunite Rome? Why are we not talking about her being a feminist and one of the first outspoken miaphysitists (early Christians) to rule? Her bad-fucking-ass speech to her husband and his court of advisors, who all wanted to flee, that ended with 'purple is the noblest shroud' and a conviction to stay and face a riot that they untimely succeeded in stomping out UNDER HER ORDERS??? The woman who Justinian saw as his intellectual equal despite her background and gender.
Where is her story? Where is her movie? Her TV show? Her musical?
You know what? Fuck it, this is a call to action. You write music? Shoot me a message, leave a comment. Let's write this thing. I'll produce it myself.
If you actually read this far, namaste, and thank you.
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