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#because marigolds is taking a lot longer than initially thought
aghostnamedcalamity · 1 month
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Hey-hey! ✨ I read your fic The Sleep That You've Craved and it's super cool! Do you plan to develop that story in more fics? :3 For example, to tell more about the times when Mordecai got together with Millicent?
(we need MOAR :D)
Helloooo thanks so much!! Sorry for the long wait, I was hoping to draw something for this but life got in the way!
Anyways, I currently don’t have any plans to work on it, but definitely think it needs a prequel at some point!! Maybe in the future. I’d love to show how Mordecai’s relationships with Joey and Millicent started as well as his initial reactions to a tiny baby.
Millicent was just a showgirl who took a liking to picking on Mordecai since he was a male in the industry who showed very little interest in getting to know her and she was used to getting that type of attention (she’s a bit of a selfish brat). I (personally) perceive Mordecai as aroace. But out of poor judgment one day, a little bit of alcohol, and just a bit of curiosity about what all the fuss is about from Mordecai’s end, they end up with Benjamin. Neither party was thrilled. Millicent kept him for his first two months of life before dumping him on Mordecai and heading out to Hollywood to try and become famous. Mordecai was initially going to put him on the orphan trains that ran out west but was looking at his options.
This is where Joey comes in!!!. Joey ended up working some shifts at Marigold after Gracie’s small establishment went under after his sudden disappearance. Joey remembered Mordecai and thought he looked super cool and that Mordecai could probably get a lot of girls (little did he know). Joey also lacks the self preservation skills to stay away from dangerous people so he kept nagging and nagging Mordecai until he managed to worm his way into a section of his life. Then, Joey left bartending behind after a raid shook him up real good. So he was jobless for a bit and kept bothering Mordecai to let him borrow money. Being in debt to Mordecai, Mordecai made him watch Benjamin until he could find a good solution to his problem as repayment for the money Joey owed him.
One thing led to another and Benjamin ends up staying longer than planned and Mordecai gets attached to him after a while, though he will never admit it. So Millicent is technically not a part of their lives (which Mordecai is very grateful for but Benjamin resents). She comes back into Benjamin’s life when he’s 16 and there’s a lot of unresolved issues between them because of the absence but she will unfortunately pass away from lung cancer around the time he turns 18. It was sadly very common for showgirls at the time due to constant second hand smoke exposure. She never really reached the level of stardom she was seeking in her youth, but she did manage to create somewhat of a more positive relationship with her son near the end and Benjamin visits where she’s resting very often to leave fresh flowers.
Super super long answer but I hope this helps tie some loose ends in my story just in case I never get around to continuing it!! Thanks so much for taking the time to read my work, heldiggy!! 💕
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lit-in-thy-heart · 3 years
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it's not my fault tumblr is a hotbed for inspiration
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omgkatsudonplease · 3 years
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[ficlet, bagginshield] we could form an attachment (bridgerton au)
The gardens at Long Cleeve Hall are stifling with the aroma of wisteria. Bilbo Baggins, who had hoped to escape there for some air, finds it frankly just as hard to breathe there as he had inside the Hall itself.
“Bilbo?” Lobelia Bracegirdle’s voice rings out from not too far away, causing Bilbo to leap to attention again. “Bilbo Baggins, get out here this instant! The Springle-ring is starting and you signed my dance card!”
Oh merciful Giver spare me, Bilbo thinks mutinously, rushing away from the sound of her voice deeper into the gardens. He had only agreed to stand up with her to be polite, but if this is how she’s going to handle him needing some air, he might as well leave her hanging all night. Miss Bracegirdle’s forceful personality might make her seem charming (if not intimidating) to other Hobbit-lads on the marriage market, but her inability to take no for an answer and her overt interest in becoming mistress of Bag End has completely drained him of any hypothetical interest he may have had in her.
He spots a decent-sized hedge and dives behind it just as Miss Bracegirdle enters the gardens, her white gown making her look like the shroud of some terrible Barrow-wight as she cranes her head around for him. Bilbo hardly dares to breathe, listening only to the merry refrain of the Springle-ring in the distance matching with the sound of his own heartbeat.
“Where is that blasted Mr Baggins?” grumbles Miss Bracegirdle as she heads deeper into the gardens, just past his hiding space. He exhales as soon as she vanishes from sight, before turning and almost colliding with another dark figure lurking in the hedge.
Bilbo’s first instinct is to scream, but then that would call Miss Bracegirdle back to him. The figure turns to look at him, and a mixture of shock and resignation floods through Bilbo all at once.
It’s King Thorin.
Bilbo remembers their first meeting at the season-opening Party Field Dance. He had been doing evasive manouevres from Miss Bracegirdle at that time, too, and had bumped quite literally into King Thorin. The Dwarf-king had refused to indulge him in his paltry attempts to make conversation, though he did recognise Gandalf, Bilbo’s chaperone for this year’s social season.
It seems that Gandalf had agreed to accompany Bilbo to this year’s social events for no real reason other than a general desire to disturb the peace, because no sooner after finding that King Thorin was in the Shire on a goodwill tour before the hunting season starts in the Ered Luin, Gandalf had decided to arrange a dinner party for all of them. So this is now his third encounter with King Thorin, and it seems that each time, the Dwarf-king gets a little more handsome and a lot more rude.
“What are you doing out here, Mr Baggins?” demands King Thorin.
“Could ask the same of you, Your Majesty,” hisses Bilbo, putting a finger to his lips. “And hush, there’s someone looking for me.”
“Miss Bracegirdle, right?” wonders King Thorin drily, raising an eyebrow.
Bilbo grits his teeth at the condescension rolling off the Dwarf-king in waves, and turns back to the leaves to keep his eye out for Miss Bracegirdle’s return. “What business is it of yours?” he mutters.
“Oh, you could do better,” scoffs King Thorin.
“I would rather not do anybody here,” replies Bilbo.
That gets King Thorin’s eyebrow raising in curiosity. “If you have no wish to marry anybody here, then why are you at these events at all?”
“Because it’s the respectable thing to do,” says Bilbo. “I know you come from some far-off hill —”
“The Lonely Mountain, actually —” offers King Thorin.
“Whatever.” Bilbo waves a hand at that. “You’re not from these parts, so you couldn’t possibly understand the importance of respectability.”
King Thorin raises an eyebrow, and Bilbo suddenly realises exactly what he’d said. His cheeks heat up in embarrassment.
“I mean — respectability with Hobbits is much different than with Dwarves — I’m sure you’re perfectly respectable with your folks, otherwise you wouldn’t be King!”
“I still fail to see how that equates making yourself do something you do not wish to do,” replies King Thorin.
Bilbo swallows. It had been his mother’s dying wish that he fall in love and get married someday. And that was part of the reason why he’d kept going to these events, year after year, in the vain hope that perhaps this year things will be different. Perhaps this year someone special will sweep him off his feet.
In turn, all he’s gotten out of it is a reputation for pickiness, speculation on whether or not there’s something wrong with him for not settling for some pretty Hobbit-lass who can’t see him past his family name, and anxiety at the possibility of having to attend these events until he’s old and shrivelled. But he’s not going to explain all of that to some Dwarf-king only in the Shire to rake some buds before he goes to be Dwarf-kingly at the Ered Luin.
“You know, I haven’t seen you on the dance floor at all tonight,” he says, changing the subject. “Surely a King would know how to dance.”
“Yes, of course,” replies King Thorin, his tone mildly irritated.
Bilbo hums. “Surely even a King of Dwarves knows that in the Shire, the lads must not leave any lasses who wish to dance sitting by the side,” he adds.
“Your point being?” wonders King Thorin.
Bilbo crosses his arms. “Why attend these events at all if you will not do the polite thing and dance? Is it because you also don’t want to be here?”
Perhaps it’s a trick of the light, but the very tips of King Thorin’s ears seem to flush pink. “I am here in the Shire as part of my goodwill tour before going hunting in the Blue Mountains,” he points out, his voice thick with something Bilbo can’t quite place. “Am I not allowed to amuse myself and experience Hobbit culture prior to my departure?”
“You have a odd definition of amusement, then, since you spend these balls glowering to the side,” replies Bilbo.
“You would be glowering, too, if all of the mamas of the Shire keep flocking to you in hopes of introducing you to all of their marriageable children,” retorts King Thorin. “I am here to observe, not find a spouse.”
Bilbo snorts. “And I am here to find my true love, but as a gentlehobbit in possession of a good fortune, I find myself surrounded more by dissemblers and treasure-hunters,” he remarks drolly. “Hence, six-going-on-seven years of unattachment.”
“Ah, yes, the Shire’s elusive hare.” King Thorin’s brows knit. “Is it true this is your seventh season? I only read of it in the Stormcrow pamphlets.”
Bilbo hums. “Stormcrow talks of you, too. Says you are colder than the Fell Winter. Not very good for foreign relations, I imagine.”
“That is entirely unfair,” mutters King Thorin. “I should not be painted wintry just because I have yet to dance.”
“Is it better or worse than being described as a hare to be hunted?” retorts Bilbo.
King Thorin grows thoughtful at that. After a moment, he puts his hands together, and fixes Bilbo with the full brunt of his steely blue gaze.
“How would you like to solve our joint Lord Stormcrow problem together?”
~~
For the gathered attendees of the dance at Long Cleeve Hall, the most exciting part of the night had not been when Hanncome Hobson and Marigold Morstan announced their betrothal, nor was it when Falstaff Proudfoot fell into the punch bowl.
No, the most exciting part of the night was when Gandalf set off an entire array of golden fireworks and sparklers, dazzling across the night sky before falling back down on their wondering faces in flocks of golden petals. And it was in the midst of all of this when Bilbo Baggins and King Thorin II of Erebor arrived back at the hall, hand-in-hand.
“Don’t panic,” says King Thorin out of the corner of his mouth. Bilbo takes a deep breath, willing his nerves not to show as they make their way through the gathered crowd, heading for the dance floor.
“We could form an attachment.”
The couples on the floor are now dancing the Weller-spin, a lively yet rather shockingly intimate dance involving pairs circling one another with their arms tightly wound around one another. Bilbo’s heart stutters at the sight, but King Thorin presses them onwards, into a miraculously empty spot on the dance floor.
“Look into my eyes,” he suggests. Bilbo complies, gasping in spite of himself when he feels the Dwarf-king’s hand at his back. He scrambles to return the favour, clasping their other hands together above their heads. “If this is to work, we must appear madly in love.”
“I am trying to avoid diplomatic disaster in the Shire, and you are trying to find your true love. With this arrangement, the rest of the Shire — particularly Lord Stormcrow — will believe that I am not so cold as my initial impression might seem, while you will have turned from being the quarry into the hunter.”
They begin to move together to the music, spinning along with the other couples. King Thorin’s hand is steady against Bilbo’s back as they dance, the heat rolling off of him running through Bilbo’s body to settle in his stomach. The Dwarf-king’s gaze is softer now, something less like cold steel and more like a summer sky.
“In other words, I will no longer be wintry, nor will you be a hare.”
King Thorin spins him out of his arms, before reeling him back in. Bilbo goes willingly, only half of his breathlessness feigned for show. They take each other’s hands in a promenade, turning together before moving back into one another’s arms again.
“Your Majesty,” begins Bilbo, but King Thorin cuts him off with a chuckle.
“We are courting,” he reminds him. “Call me Thorin.”
“Very well, Thorin.” Bilbo smiles. “Do you know the other parts of Hobbit courtship?”
Thorin’s brows briefly furrow. “You will have to educate me, Mr Baggins,” he replies.
Bilbo chuckles at that. “Bilbo,” he says. “Since we are courting, like you mentioned.”
“Bilbo,” agrees Thorin, and the sound of his own name being said by that low voice makes shivers run down Bilbo’s spine. “Tell me more about Hobbit courtship.”
In spite of himself, Bilbo’s stomach flutters.
“This is madness,” Bilbo breathes, looking up at King Thorin, still utterly lost and nervous and perplexed.
“Yet there is method to it,” answers King Thorin. “Provided, of course, that we can amiably part ways at the end of the season, or when someone finds they are so truly in love with you that they would dare to go toe-to-toe with a King for your hand. For as long as I do not love you, and you do not love me, then what have we to lose?”
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As promised, here’s an admin update post. This addresses several topics you all probably knew were coming and might have been waiting for the answers on, as well as some other topics, additions, and changes! Please take your time to read this thoroughly, and thanks again for four years of Famed! There’s a lot here, so take your time reading it.
URL change
The main blog’s URL has changed to famedroleplay. Some links are still being updated, but if you notice anything still links back incorrectly after a week or so, please do let me know!
Faceclaims
After hearing out the opinion of everyone who shared theirs regarding banning faceclaims involved in bullying scandals and taking that into consideration, face claims will be banned if they are linked to outside crimes or severe such as sexual assault, molka, or bullying in connection to suicide / suicide attempts. This means the initial ban on actor Kim Jisoo and April members Kim Chaewon, Lee Naeun, Yang Yena, Lee Jinsol, and and ex-member Jeon Somin remain in tact.
Bullying allegations not linked to these outside factors will still be grounds for someone to be allowed to ask to change a faceclaim before their faceclaim change waiting period is up, though, if they are uncomfortable continuing to use a faceclaim because of bullying allegations. If a faceclaim leaves the industry and/or removes themselves from the public eye for the foreseeable future for any reason, they are also still unusable, but this rule was already in place.
As for how this will affect parts of the roleplay other than faceclaims, please see the section further down about Element. Two April songs (”Oh My Mistake!” and “Love Clock”) were previously used for the first season of base’s COLLA3ORATE. These will be retroactively replaced with Elris’s “Jackpot” and “Like I Do” respectively, but if you had a muse involved in “Oh My Mistake” and would prefer to remove them from COLLA3ORATE season one entirely, just message me and they will be removed. I assigned the lines trying to match the positions and line distributions up similarly, but if your muse was involved and you’d like to keep them in “Jackpot” but want to switch to an untaken position, you’re welcome to request that as well. Otherwise, any references to that can simply use those songs instead now.
Element update
Due to the recent allegations involving Somin, a major revamp of Element has had to be conducted. After discussing the situation with the current muns of the group, the past model discography of Element has been replaced using Checkmate, K-Tigers Zero, and Lucky J, and they will be making their final comeback on April 12. After those promotions end, Element will be disbanded and the members will re-debut later in the year in a boy group, Quicksilver, with model groups of Ateez and Treasure and a girl group, Marigold, with model groups of BVNDIT and Melody Day with two new members each. The Element spots have been reopened, but the new positions in the new groups won’t be opened until after Element have finished promoting. This will be a major plotline for the roleplay and Gold Star in particular so expect to see it brought up in schedules and in some articles on the Exclusive blog as the storyline unfolds.
The new debuts in Quicksilver and Marigold will be available on May 13.
Fuse’s model discography update
Thanks to everyone’s suggestions, I was able to find two groups to add to Fuse’s model discography that I felt could align with their sound, direction, storyline, and positions enough to be happy with for now. These groups are Cherry Bullet and Weki Meki. The updated line distribution can be found on Fuse’s page.
There are other groups I’m looking into adding onto the model discographies of, but Fuse was the most urgent, so they’re the only official update I have today!
Canon soloists
Ultimately, after the poll, more people voted to remove canon soloists than to keep them, and they are officially being removed from the roleplay.
Those discographies previously used for the soloists will begin to be open for points claims at midnight/12AM EDT on April 12.
With the removal of canon soloists, the plan is to allow a solo music career to become a more prominent claiming option, and there are plans for some additional claim options to become available in relation to such a career, but those will be added and addressed at a later time.
As for storylines linked to some of the soloists, this is how those will be retconned:
BC Soloist 1: Instead of BC signing and debuting a known Gold Star trainee, BC hired a high profile creative director from Gold Star known from working with Gold Star since their inception and had worked on some of their most defining comebacks and announced she would be taking over as one of the company’s main creative directors. She has since worked on conceptualizing several group’s comeback as well as most heavily on Chroma’s pre-debut project.
Dimensions Soloist 3: Instead of Dimensions buying out a small and brand new company created by a crew of popular music producers with one soloist who they transferred to their label, in early 2020, Dimensions bought out a music production company that was created by a top music production team with several rising producers signed with them and made the producers in-house producers for Dimensions. Since then, the new producers have helped to produce several hit Dimensions songs since.
While Gold Star Soloist 1 no longer exists as an IU stand-in, Gold Star still had an incredibly popular and loved NPC soloist as one of their first artists that helped give their name prominence. At the beginning of 2021, she announced her departure from the agency to create her own label, citing her reasoning as feeling she needed a more focused environment than Gold Star’s growth could provide. There are rumors she was alluding to dissatisfaction with Gold Star’s recent management and gossip that Gold Star was pushing for her to pursue activities in overseas markets she wasn’t interested in.
Anyone who had a feature or MV appearance claim on a soloist can contact me and let me know whether they’d like to just drop the claim (and, if a points claim, recollect those points), keep it as a claim in an unspecified work, or try to replace it with something else. The following muses had claims this applies to:
Features:
Cha Kyonghwa (Kami) (app claim) Kang Sunghee (app claim) Park Jaewon (points claim, 10 points) dropped! Choi Joosung (Sun) (points claim, 10 points) Moon Chaeyeon (Dita) (app claim) Park Duri (points claim, 10 points) kept as unspecified!
MV appearances:
Kim Kyongmin (Alice) (app claim) Ryu Jaein (points claim, 5 points) dropped! Seo Minjung (points claim, 10 points) points reclaimed! Moon Chaeyeon (Dita) (app claim)
Points shop updates
There have been a few updates to the points shop!
Firstly, the nation’s title claim checklist now requires a headcanon on the muse’s image and how it relates to their claims and career to be completed. This is just so I can see a mun’s own intentions for how everything ties in with their image. This headcanon shouldn’t focus on the title itself since that isn’t ever guaranteed for approval, but the muse’s general image as the mun has shaped it. The viral moment requirement for a nation’s title is now also specified to need to relate to the image involved in the desired title.
In the wake of canon soloists being removed, I’m planning on being a little more strict regarding music claims aligning well with positions.This applies to both individual songs and whole discographies. Still, the intent is to be reasonable. Chungha having a rap-like verse in “Bicycle” won’t require someone to have a rap position to claim it since it’s not a lot of the song and she’s not known as a rapper, but I also wouldn’t approve a muse whose most prominent position is main rapper or a main dancer making their entire discography IU releases since IU is primarily a singing-focused artist.
There used to be a rule requiring that muns seek admin approval before claiming songs written by deceased artists, but that rule has now been removed. Keep it respectful, though, please. If any issue arises with muns breaking the fourth wall in relation to these songs to be disrespectful about a real person’s passing, that claim may be revoked and the rule may be reinstated. Songs performed by deceased artists still cannot be claimed.
There’s also a new claim available — a YouTube variety show or talk show. Please see the variety page for examples and more information, but note that this is separate from both a reality show claim. I’ve tried to specify the difference, but if you’re ever unsure which one what you want to claim would fit into, feel free to ask! Both will now be uploaded in-’verse to base’s Youtube Channel. Likewise, there has been a small change so that future radio show claims are now through base Radio, a radio streaming application (think Naver Now). 
Company building pages + Pinterest
I’m currently working on pages that give more detail on the layout of the company headquarters. They aren’t quite finished yet, but I have created a Famed Pinterest account for those of you who find more muse visually or who are into visual worldbuilding! One of the sections on the boards there gives a rough idea of company building visuals. There are group concept boards as well, so if you’re struggling to decide where your muse might fit, looking at those might help you if you’re more of a visual person. No one is required to follow it and I won’t be answering messages or anything of the sort there, but I thought it might be a helpful way to visually convey locations and concepts! I’ll make a small post to let everyone know when the pages with in-depth information on the company buildings is available.
Activity rules updates
I mentioned there’d be a few more touch-ups to the activity rules to fill in loopholes that have been around a while, so here they are.
- There is now a formal hiatus request form that must be submitted to request a hiatus. Simply sending the main an IM that you want a hiatus will no longer qualify as a valid request and it will not be processed.
- There will no longer be a week-long grace period after a hiatus ends. You are responsible for being active for the next activity check after your hiatus ends.
- The maximum length of a hiatus is now three weeks (and the minimum one week). The initial hiatus request maximum is still two weeks with one week extensions, but extensions may not be stacked to exceed three weeks total without a passed activity check in between. If you can’t be around for a longer period of time, it might be best to rejoin at a later time when you’re more available! In total, a mun is allotted a maximum of four weeks of hiatus over any twelve week period.
- If a muse reaches three activity warnings in a month, they will be automatically moved to the unfollow list on their third warning instead. If a muse is removed and refollowed three times over the course of six months, they will not be able to be re-followed again and will have to re-apply.
New points opportunity
As of this post going up, muses may now collect one point for every first closed thread with a new muse after it has reached ten posts. This will no longer only apply during events and the ten post requirement is new. Members should be interacting with new muses all the time, not just during events, so it felt right to adjust this accordingly. This applies only to threads started after this post goes up.
Chroma
As schedules have been made quarterly, all remaining Chroma roles will be made available for reserves and applications in at midnight/12AM EDT on April 12.
Suggestions + Feedback
I want to end off this post by reminding everyone that I’m always taking suggestions for events, tasks, etc! I plan on opening an official suggestion submission blog at some point down the line, but I’m happy to take suggestions through the ask box or submit if you have any. I’m also open to feedback as well. If you do send in either of these things, please specify if you’d like a reply from me, since sometimes I might be naturally inclined to keep a message simply giving a suggestion or idea without any questions instead of responding to it.
Thanks for reading this very long update! There are more additions to the roleplay in the works, some I’ve hinted at here and some I’ve not, but I hope Famed’s fifth year is able to be its best one yet!
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Downton’s Easy Company - Chapter 16
A Band of Brothers x Downton Abbey Crossover
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Summary: The new generation of Downton is taking over, but just as the second world war is raging across Europe. On a cool London night, the children of the Crawleys meet the boys of the American 101st Airborne. Worlds collide and hearts are on the line.
Word Count: 3.4k
Tag List: @purplelavalamp​​​, @johnny-martin-is-mypeanut​​​, @the-disassembled-boy​​​, @tvserie-s-world​​​, @50svibes​​​, @cherriesx​​​, @incognito-princess​​​, @hellitwasyoufirstsergeant​​​, @claire-bear-1218, @goingmyway​​​​, @marv-llous​​​, @foalystechcrew​​​, @mother-dearest-loves-me​​, @dench1992​​​, @neverendingstories00​​​, @greenmonkeyfish, @grumpablebutloveable​​​, @lilaxdream​​​ @iilovemusic12us​​​ If you’d like to be added, let me know!
A/N: I hope you enjoy this update! There’s a lot of letters, but I figured they were the best way to show the time passing while they’re separated, so I hope that comes across to everyone :)
Warning(s): None :)
Chapter 1  Chapter 2  Chapter 3  Chapter 4  Chapter 5  Chapter 6  Chapter 7  Chapter 8  Chapter 9  Chapter 10  Chapter 11  Chapter 12  Chapter 13  Chapter 14  Chapter 15
OR
READ THIS FIC ON AO3
Chapter 16 here we go!!!
Dear George,
I’m so relieved you’re back in England. Let us know when you have some leave so we can prepare for you here at home. We miss you a great deal.
Katrine seems sweet enough, though she is rather private. Her boy has made himself quite comfortable, especially with Mama and Papa. We offered to hire a nanny, but Katrine wouldn’t hear of it. It seems an odd way to raise a child to me, but I suppose it comes from her own upbringing. 
You’re right about the boy being bright. Papa and I have taken initiative and are looking into some schools close by. He’s too young to enroll just yet, but we had a tutor evaluate him, and the report was quite promising. 
I do wish you’d tell me how you came by these two. I know you said they helped you when you were trapped in Holland, but I’d like the full story. Perhaps when you come home next, you and I can have a long discussion about it, and the possibilities for the Mondeels here in Yorkshire.
On an unrelated note, have you heard anything from Caroline? We haven’t seen her since before Christmas, and she has not been answering my letters. Have we done something to upset her? If you have any information, do share.
I hope you’re well, my darling.
Love,
Mother. 
***
Dear Ron,
I can’t tell you how good it was to hear from you after all those weeks of silence. I’m also glad you’re out of danger (mostly) and can correspond again. I’ve missed you, as weak as it sounds to admit it. 
Baby and I are doing just fine. I am starting to show more now. So much so that I’m finally making use of the maternity clothes Victoria brought me. I’ve had them tailored so that they’re more modern - not that fashion matters much in times like this - but it does make me feel better. 
I’m ashamed to say that I haven’t been in touch with my family. Just Marigold, Sybbie, Victoria, and George. There isn’t much to tell them except the one thing I know I can’t tell them. As I told you, it doesn’t feel like the sort of thing you put in a letter. Do you think I should grit my teeth and bear it? Or can I put it off a little longer? I’m really beginning to miss my mother, whose presence would be much appreciated by her frightened daughter. 
I must make another admission. I am scared of this. Of the birth, yes, but mostly what comes after. We are going to be responsible for a life. It’s completely overwhelming. Not that I want to bog you down, you’ve got plenty to worry about where you are, but do you ever think of such things? How do you feel about a nanny? I had one growing up, but I understand you likely did not. Was it helpful to you? There’s so much to consider.
I’m also trying to come up with names. I like plenty of boy’s names, but I am starting to wonder if we should have a girl name picked out as well, just in case. I really do think it’s a boy, but one can never be too prepared. 
Here are the names I like so far:
Robert (after my grandfather)
Phillip
Theodore (Ted for short)
Wesley
Charles
Let me know your opinion on these. Keep in mind, his middle name should be Ronald, after you, as is tradition. Do you do that in America? 
If you’ve got any girl names, send them along. I really do think we should decide on one of each.
Be careful, love.
Your Caroline
***
Caroline,
Glad everything’s alright. I’m doing fine. I’d tell you more details, but they’d be redacted anyway, so what’s the point?
You tell your family only when you’re ready. Don’t worry about them. Focus on staying healthy. That’s the only priority right now. If you really need your mom, reach out. She might not like it, but she is still your mother. 
Nobody’s ever really ready for parenthood. Just remember that we are adults and it’s a baby. It doesn’t know how to do anything. We can handle this. 
I did not have a nanny, but depending on how the war goes, you might need the help. Let’s play that one by ear. Don’t overthink it. 
Girls' names are irrelevant, we’re not having a girl. 
As for the names you’ve chosen, here are my thoughts.
Robert is a no go. That’s Colonel Sink’s name and I don’t want to give him a big head.
Phillip is a possibility. 
No to Theodore/Ted. Much too old sounding. 
Wesley can stay in the running. 
I don’t like Charles. 
Now, for your consideration, here are names that I like: 
James
Thomas 
Leo
Haven’t been able to think of much more. But let me know what you think. 
Ron
***
Ron,
You are truly a stubborn arse. All the more shame on me for falling for you, I suppose. 
In spite of all that, I thank you for your reassurance. I will wait some more before telling my family. Marigold and Victoria are doing a very good job of caring for me. 
If you refuse to acknowledge the possibility of a girl, I will simply choose a name myself and you will just have to live with it. I like Violet, after my great-grandmother.
As for the boy names you picked out, I have to say no to Thomas. My uncle is Tom Branson, and then we have our butler Thomas Barrow, and I should hate for our child’s name to be confused with those two. I don’t mean that in a bad way, they’re two of my favorite people, but to have three Tom/Thomas’s in my heart would only get confusing. 
The other two names I very much like. So our list is now down to: 
Phillip
Wesley
James
Leo
(and Violet)
We can narrow it down further at a later date. I’m afraid I have to cut this letter short as I have a doctor’s appointment. 
Stay safe, love.
Your Caroline
Speirs wrinkled his nose at the latest letter. It may have also been because of the dank smell of Haguenau, but he preferred to blame Caroline. Truly, he was fond of the final list of names. He stared at the last one that she scratched out and turned it over in his mind. 
“Violet?” he murmured. 
“Sir?” questioned Lipton from his spot on the couch.
Speirs looked at the sergeant. “What do you think of the name Violet?”
Lipton’s brow furrowed. Before he could answer, he coughed, a small rattle still in his chest, though he was doing much better than before. 
“Violet?” he asked. “For what, like a cat?”
“No, like a baby,” Speirs said. 
He still had not told any of his men about Caroline’s pregnancy. He considered telling Lipton now, just to have someone around he could consult on these matters, but thought better of it. Enough people knew as it was and Caroline was not around to give her permission. 
“Ah, I see,” Lip replied. “I think it’s sweet. Traditional, but not overdone.”
Speirs was surprised that Lip did not challenge a baby name inquiry at a time like this. That was Lip, though. All support, no questions asked. Speirs took a deep breath.
“What do you think of Phillip?”
***
Dear Joe,
I hope I haven’t offended you somehow. It’s been weeks with no word from you. And the girls have received letters from others in your company, so I can’t help feeling like it’s personal. If something has changed between us, I hope you will share that with me. Just give me some clarity, please.
Love,
Victoria
Joe sighed, struggling to put the letter into his pocket with the truck rocking through the countryside. Eventually, he tucked it away and buttoned his pocket over it. Webster watched Joe with keen interest. Especially since Joe’s face looked so pained as he read. 
“Everything alright?” Webster asked. 
“What’s it to you?” Joe returned. 
Webster shrugged. “Alright, I’ll mind my business.”
He returned to his journal. Joe chewed his cheek and glowered out at the scenery. 
“It’s Victoria,” he admitted.
He needed to talk to someone about it. Why not Web? 
Webster looked up curiously. “What about her?”
“I think I gotta break up with her,” Joe said. “We’re just...too different.”
“Is that so bad?” Webster wondered. “Maybe you can balance each other out.”
“Nah, I think we want different things,” Joe insisted. “I love the girl, but I can’t ask her to give up everything for me, y’know?”
“I can’t say I’m familiar with the situation,” Webster said. “But I understand what you’re saying. Either way you go, one of you will be making a huge sacrifice. What you have to decide is if it’s worth it.”
Joe heaved another sigh. “I don’t know…”
“I think you have your answer then,” Webster said. 
With that, he started writing again and left Joe to his thoughts. Joe considered that. He wasn’t totally sure about Victoria. If he was, shouldn’t he be willing to sacrifice? But he thought of her sweet smile and the tenderness of her heart, and he felt weak. He was lucky Victoria wanted to be with him, wanted to compromise with him. He had to think about it some more. He needed to decide what he really wanted out of life. But what were the possibilities? They were heading into Germany, but the war was not over yet. 
***
Dear Dick,
Paris is settling down and beginning to feel like the place I left years ago. It’s been fun to take Victoria and Caroline around. Caroline is getting bigger every day it seems, but she’s very healthy. Incredibly, I felt the child kick, and I daresay it made me rather emotional. I feel my cousin is hardly out of her own childhood, and now she is bringing new life into the world. 
It reminds me of my own mother. I wish I could confide this in Caroline, but I feel it isn’t really my story to tell. I’m a key player in it, of course, but obviously my mother’s privacy comes first. Thank you again for your own discretion. 
Seeing Caroline become a mother has also put thoughts of my own future into perspective. After everything I’ve been through, I want very much to live simply. Because of my parentage, I can never really belong in the world my family exists in. I don’t think it’s what I want anyway. I just want a peaceful, quiet place to raise a family and perhaps write a novel. How do you picture your life after the war? I don’t believe we’ve discussed it before. I do hope I am somewhere in your imaginings. You are certainly in mine. 
You are also in my thoughts and prayers. Do take care of yourself. 
Love, 
Marigold
Dick read over Marigold’s words, touched. She said exactly the things he was hoping she would. They were heading in the same direction, with the same goals. It was a relief to him. It was easy to picture Marigold as his wife, at his side. He admired her, respected her, and loved her. 
“What are you smiling about over there?” Nixon teased. 
Dick shook his head. “Nothing. Just something nice Marigold wrote.”
“Oh?” Nix returned, raising a curious eyebrow. 
“Yeah,” Dick said. “I think it’s time to talk about something more serious between us.”
Nix smirked. “Should I say congratulations now or wait until after the ceremony?”
Dick rolled his eyes. 
***
Dear Marigold,
It might sound silly, but I made a promise to myself after D-Day that should I survive the war, I’d find myself somewhere quiet to live out my life in peace. And you are absolutely a part of that picture. You have belonged there since that fateful day in the elevator. 
I’m glad to hear Caroline is doing alright with the baby. I would like to check on Speirs, but it feels like an awkward thing to ask about. So I’m afraid I don’t have any updates on him, though I’m sure he’s in contact with Caroline. 
Germany is surprisingly nice. Maybe it’s the warm weather or the lack of artillery, but we’re enjoying it here. The war should be over soon. So I’m happy to begin planning that future with you if that’s what you want. That obviously includes an offer I’d rather make in person, and we can have that conversation the next time I see you. Hopefully, that won’t be too long. 
I love you and miss you.
Yours, 
Dick
***
Dear Gene,
Bill and Joe are doing alright. They’ll be heading home soon, and selfish as it is, I will miss them terribly. They’re truly the most entertaining patients I’ve ever had, especially Bill. But of course you’re familiar with his personality. 
I hope I’m able to get to Paris soon to be with Caroline. She has asked me to be there to be an advocate for her for something big coming up. Really big. I’m afraid I can’t tell you exactly what it is, as it’s just a bit scandalous. But she’s made some wishes known to me. That sounds ominous, but everything is going well so far.
I hope you’re doing well. With spring’s arrival, there must be a bit of a reprieve if you’re outdoors. Do you have a comfortable place to sleep at least? Lord knows you and your men have earned it. 
As for myself, I’ve applied to a university in Dublin, to attend in the fall (if the war is over, and it looks like it may be soon). I think it’s high time I experienced my Irish heritage and I want more for myself. I love being a nurse, but I want to explore all my options. I haven’t told anyone in the family yet. I’m going to Downton soon and will talk it over with George (he’s home on leave), but I wanted to tell you first. I could use additional hopes for my acceptance. 
Look after yourself. Get some rest. Don’t forget to eat. 
All my love,
Sybbie
Eugene tried not to be dismayed at the news. He wanted Sybbie to do what was best for her, but it dashed his hopes of asking her to come back to Louisiana with him. Not permanently - at least not right away - but to see a bit of his world. The way he had seen hers at Downton Abbey. He supposed it was still possible, but there was no guarantee of when the war would be over and their timeframe depended entirely on that. 
Even if she was able to visit, how could they progress together - if that was even what they were - with her in Dublin and him at home? He tried to picture himself staying in Europe, but he hated the idea. He missed home too much. He did not feel he belonged in Europe, nor did he particularly want to. For the first time, they weren’t on the same page.
***
Dear Sybbie, 
Thanks for all the updates on Guarnere and Toye. We’re all worried about them, and your letters put our minds at ease. I know those two appreciated your help too, and they’ll miss you back in the states. 
It sounds awfully suspicious about Caroline. I trust you though. And she must too if she’s asking you to join her in Paris. 
Good news, I am sleeping in a bed most nights. You’re so sweet to worry about things like that for me. 
I’m proud of you for taking a chance and applying to school. Not a lot of girls have the courage to do that, even if they want to. But you’re spirited enough. I have no doubt you’ll get in. You’re a brilliant nurse, and even if you aren’t accepted, you’ll have a great career ahead of you. 
You should tell your father you applied. I think it’ll make him really happy that you’re interested in Ireland. And you’ll have his hopes in your corner as well. 
I know it’s unlikely, but I hope I’ll get to see you before you go. 
Take care of yourself,
Eugene
***
Dear Caroline,
I’m home again on leave, and I still haven’t confessed my feelings to Kat or to Mother. Do you think me a dreadful coward? I’m beginning to think it of myself. In fairness, Mother hardly lets me alone when I’m at home, so Kat and I barely get time together for me to be able to have any sort of real discussion with her. I have bought a ring, though, and enclosed the catalog I purchased it from for your approval. You have very fine taste, and I trust you. 
How are you doing? The arrival should be soon, right? Spring is fully upon us now - truly a good time for welcoming something new. I hope it all goes smoothly and you come out of it feeling as strong as I know you to be. I’m looking forward to your return to Downton. 
Stay safe.
Your brother, 
George
Caroline rubbed her swollen belly as she read George’s letter, her back aching. Her cousins were around her, Sybbie finally having arrived at last. The baby was due soon. May snuck up on her so quickly, she wondered where the time went. Nerves began to eat at her the closer she got, especially since she still had not told the rest of the family. She took Ron’s words to heart. She would only tell them when she was good and ready. 
She decided also to get the birth over with before telling them. Perhaps they would be charmed by how cute it would be - which she was certain of - and would be more forgiving. It was always harder to be honest to someone’s face, especially a baby’s, and Caroline was banking on that. Plus, she wanted to arrange for George to be with her when she told them. She hoped he would wait on proposing to Kat. The ring he chose was stunning, and she made a mental note to tell him so.
On the morning of May 8, Caroline enjoyed breakfast with Sybbie and Victoria while Marigold went down to get a newspaper. Caroline sipped her tea and hoped there would be some good news at last. 
“Why don’t you just turn on the radio?” Victoria wondered.
“Because it’s ghastly noise,” Caroline said. “Mornings are meant for quietly reading the newspaper like sensible people.”
Victoria laughed and rolled her eyes. Suddenly, Marigold burst into the room, looking winded and completely shell shocked. She’d clearly run all the way up from the lobby. 
“Goodness, Marigold, what is it?” Sybbie asked. 
“The war is over,” Marigold blurted out, holding out the day’s newspaper. 
They all saw the VE-Day headline, though they couldn’t quite believe it. After all these years at war, it had become the new normal. The send offs, the letters, the telegrams, the sleepless nights. It was all over. No more fighting. No more death. No more. 
“Good God in heaven,” Caroline breathed out. “Can it really be true?”
“It’s right there in black and white,” Marigold said, staring at the paper as if it were a bomb that might take her hand off any second. 
They all feared this was a dream they might wake up from. Slowly, Sybbie rose from her chair, tears filling her eyes. She gazed at each of her cousins, who she truly regarded more as sisters now, and she reached for their hands. She took hold of Caroline’s, Caroline took hold of Victoria’s, Victoria took Marigold’s, and then Marigold and Sybbie completed the circle. 
“We made it, girls,” Sybbie said. “And so did our men.”
Caroline blinked and a tear rolled down her cheek. She took a deep breath and blinked the rest away. 
“What are we blubbering about?” she joked. “This calls for a celebration! We should be ordering champagne not crying like babies!”
They all laughed and agreed, fighting the lumps in their throats and the mist in their eyes. And they did order champagne. Together, they shared a toast to the end of the war, and the start of their new lives. 
***
Dear Marigold,
I’ve talked things over with Colonel Sink, and he’s agreed to have you all join us in Zell am Zee, Austria. Our lodgings will suit you well, I think. Plus, I know Ron is anxious to be present when Caroline gives birth. Hopefully, it hasn’t already happened. If you can clear it with her doctor to travel, let me know when we can expect you. 
Looking forward to your answer. 
Yours,
Dick
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dol--blathanna · 3 years
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I don't know if you'll even answer this because of spoilers, but mixtape and wild card for Tye? Haha, if not, wild card for Gwenllian and Ameer
Thank you so much for the ask!!! These are always so exciting to receive!!! :D
Oooooh I wasn’t expecting anyone to ask about Tye!! I’m impressed haha!! Of course it’s going to be very difficult to answer this question as many facts about him are Classified™, but I like the challenge!!
So for mixtape: Obviously I can’t give some of the very specific tracks that I’ve listened to when thinking or writing about him (because BIG spoilers), so I’ve selected a couple of tracks that don’t have much lyrical significance or anything, and that I just like because I think the ~vibes~ are cool and match his character, or scenarios with his character (both in posted chapters and unposted chapters!)
Shadow from Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice
Battle March from Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice
Norupo by Heilung
The Angry River by The Hat (ft. Father John Misty)
The first two I chose because of vibes, I can’t explain further sorry! The last two I picked less because of how they related to Tye necessarily, but because I thought they had very spooky Velen vibes and after all Tye has been on a mission for unknown reasons to find the Crone!
As for the wild card, I decided that I’d try and do the microscope prompt, simply because I think it’s the only possible one to do without spoiling anything hahaha! So here are some random, insignificant details about Tye.
He has a fringe (or bangs I think Americans call them?) and his hair is a bit longer than his jawline, but he hasn’t been taking good care of it. The back of his hair is quite tangled.
The red strip he wears around his forehead is somewhat dirty and tattered, and it smells of sweat. It doesn’t appear to be made of any fine material – it looks poor in quality.
Although he is a very nervous individual, he has steady hands – he was able to heal a bite wound one handed, as seen in Part 2 Chapter 2, and had the witcher Oskar not been attacked by a leshen, he would have noticed that the wound from Tye’s severed ear was an extremely clean cut. If one were to ever study his handwriting, you’d also notice it’s very neat.
He’s ambidextrous (he was left handed first)
Aside from the scar on his forehead (the size and origin of which is unknown) he has a small scar on his hand from where Ameer bit him.
I also wanna do the wild cards for Gwenllian and Ameer hehehe hope that’s ok! For them both I decided I just wanted to do little fun facts about them!
Ameer:
Ameer loves learning languages, and can speak several: Ofieri, Elder speech, the language of Fox Mothers, Common and Nilfgaardian. Nilfgaardian was very easy for him to learn (as it’s very similar to Elder Speech), whereas Common was the most difficult language to learn, and is overall his weakest language.
Although Ameer loves to sing, he does not play any musical instruments. Various humans across Ofier have tried to teach him how to play various different instruments as he travelled, but he never got the knack of it. He was always very jealous of those who could and had great admiration for musicians. He also cannot read music, though simply because he never bothered to learn how.
Ameer is a tall individual, as most elves are. As a fox, however, he’s actually quite small. Fennec foxes are the smallest species of fox, but even compared to his older sisters and mother, Ameer is significantly smaller than them in his fox form, which was a source of teasing for him.
Since Ameer is not a true Fox Mother, he possesses the ability to use magic. This was something his mother was very concerned about – she had no idea how to manage his burgeoning abilities or teach him to control them. One day, while exploring the mountains, Ameer came across an elderly man who was travelling. The man was a sage of sorts, who often came into the mountain for meditation, herbal gathering, and studying the magic sources in the area. He ended up spotting Ameer and they formed a friendship of sorts. The man believed that Ameer was some sort of fey so knew not to harm him or take him away from the mountains. His mother initially disapproved of Ameer talking to the man, until she realised the old man possessed magical abilities like Ameer. She allowed Ameer to learn magic from him, and he was able to control his abilities a lot better after that. The old man was the first ever human Ameer spoke to.
Gwenllian:
Gwenllian loves poetry and literature. She’s something of an expert when it comes to Nilfgaardian prose and verse. In her old home in Nilfgaard, she had a collection of books from over the decades – she found it very interesting to compare the works between generations (not just in terms of style, but also how literature became far less outspoken or critical of the empire and ruling family in recent years, as those who did often wound up dead). Unfortunately when the other vampires cast her out of Nilfgaard, she had no choice but to leave most of these behind, although she managed to save a few and bring them with her to the North.
When Gwenllian fled Nilfgaard and was hiding in the Northern kingdoms, she was heavily injured and had huge cravings for blood. Raw and bloody meat would help satiate these cravings a little, but she was so weak she struggled to hunt any animals. Instead, she would forage for various medicinal herbs and sell them for money, which she used to buy meat for herself (then would hide and eat it raw). While selling herbs, she would try not to speak out loud and communicated through writing and gestures instead – revealing herself as Nilfgaardian to either side was dangerous, and her accent always gave her away.
Like Regis, Gwenllian can talk to ravens. Upon moving to Novigrad, she created a network of ravens to act as spies throughout the city – at this point, she was still extremely paranoid of other vampires finding her and killing her, and wanted to be informed of any vampires or other sketchy figures entering the city. When she explained her situation to the ravens she befriended, they didn’t care about her dark past – ravens like vampires, but don’t care much for their social hierarchies or rules. Gwenllian was nice to them, so that was good enough for them! She was always grateful for that. The three ravens who would often perch on top of her roof were nicknamed Rosemary, Camelia, and Marigold.
Gwenllian is a very good cook. When she was still struggling with blood cravings, and when she finally reached Novigrad, she tried her best to create big, heaty meals with plenty of flavours and seasoning to try and whet her appetite. As a result, she got quite good at cooking, and even after she no longer experienced blood cravings, she still enjoyed cooking and eating the meals she concocted. Aside from the fact she doesn’t particularly like Northern cuisine, the Nilfgaardian-style recipes remind her of home and help her with homesickness.    
Thank you for sending in the ask!! Just what I needed to cheer myself up while I’m doing this damn essay ahaha!
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atrabiliousse · 5 years
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@shizziebo my hun!!! you always give me such endless support and your requests always excite me, plus you have the most patience with my dumbass, i don’t deserve you fr! i hope you enjoy this one 💞
warning: strong language
Marigold with Sunwoo
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Your relationship had a slow start. Months of your frustrated sighs and Sunwoo’s rather shy advances turning to embarrassed insults and storming off.
You’d only stand there, completely at your wits’ end, and then storm off behind him and yelling the first insult that came to your mind to ease the pent up frustration.
You were hopelessly in love with the boy and he knew this, and in his absurd ways, proved to you that the feeling was mutual. But that’s where it came to a halt. Sunwoo hadn’t asked you out on a date and God forbid you actually asked him out on one.
However in love with him you were, you wouldn’t be the one to take initiative. You were stubborn to the point that it made you foolish. And you were set on having the boy make the first move.
Especially seeing as you were the first to put your feelings out there. Telling him that he was your favorite asshole took a lot more guts than you’d like to admit.
So when your friends finally forced him to ask you out and actually ask you to be his, you rolled your eyes and grabbed his hand, dragging him to the arcade not so far from your house.
“Took you long enough, bastard.”
After the slow start, things actually proceeded pretty smoothly.
Now after little arguments, instead of storming off in opposite directions, came the aggressive grabbing of the other’s hand and storming off together.
This is not to say that your entire relationship was built on aggressive displays of affection. You were a pretty chill couple. You thought you guys had a good balance, where your relationship wasn’t all romance neither was it too casual. It was just perfect.
The two of you were often commended for the flow you had, it came very natural and it was something you wouldn’t ever change. It almost allowed for you to forget about Sunwoo’s cowardly approach.
Almost.
But besides all of that, you found Sunwoo very endearing and being in a relationship with him taught you a lot more about him than before. You had met through a mutual friend at school and with the integrating circles, came seeing the boy a lot more often.
It was only during a trip to the arcade, when you had beat him at air hockey, that the two of you began talking separately from the group.
You were friends with the boy for almost two years before you had become a couple.
And with this came learning that Sunwoo had a more naïve and inexperienced side to him. A side you adored and secretly related to.
The boy often became meek and bashful when he held your hand, starting with the smallest and quickest of pecks and the silliest of smiles whenever you so much as addressed him as yours.
Even months into the relationship, the boy would still need some validation, his eyes big and pure with emotion and it never failed to tug at your heartstrings.
Despite your friends’ teasing, you never mentioned it or joined them, you felt that it wasn’t fair to him and only wanted for him to be comfortable and ease himself into the new dynamics of your relationship. Much like you were doing too.
It never bothered you, not when he slightly bristled when guys blatantly flirted with you in front of him, not when he tugged you away from your friends, whining for your attention. Not even when he asked you if you still wanted him around when he messed up your birthday by being a day early.
You usually prided yourself with being patient with Sunwoo, because to put it simply, you loved him.
So when Haknyeon pulled you aside one day on a little outing around the streets of the city, asking you if you were still in love with Sunwoo, it threw you off guard and to be completely honest, offended you.
“What kind of question is that?” Your eyebrows were drawn together and you came to a halt, the ice cream in your hand melting too fast and dripping down to your wrist.
Haknyeon was quick to raise his hands in defense, trying to tell you he meant no harm with panicked eyes, “No no no, don’t get me wrong, it’s just,”
He sighed, eyes falling to the ground as his moral compass spun,
“Sunwoo’s been worried lately. Sanha told him that you’ve been hanging out a lot with some guy from your biology class and now the boy thinks you’re going to leave him.”
Your emotions came over you like a tidal wave, unable to distinguish anger from disappointment and the overwhelming love from the sadness. All of them tumbled together and left you feeling drained on instant.
“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”
The boy was caught by surprise by your statement if his expression was anything to go by.
“What?”
“If he really thinks that, then he’s really a dumbass.”
And with that, you shoved the melting cone into Haknyeon’s hands and stormed off in the opposite direction, needing a minute or two to gather yourself before you did anything too rash.
Even though your decision to march on off from the group was just as rash and maybe a little dramatic, but you felt justified and had you stayed even a minute longer, you’d have strangled Sanha and then Sunwoo.
You never wanted for him to doubt you and never would’ve thought for him to take Sanha’s words to heart the way he did.
The boy Sanha had been referring to was a project partner you had been paired with. The only reason you were supposedly ‘caught’ hanging out with him. You always had a thing for wanting to get assignments completed as soon as possible and so you made the effort to reach out to Daehwi for this sole reason.
Not once would you have thought that it would result to Sunwoo fearing losing you.
Your heart melted and then sunk lower and lower the more you thought about it. Never once had Sunwoo made you worry about whether or not he still loved you and to consider that indirectly, you had done so to him, bothered you.
You shifted the blame endlessly as you walked further and further, not really paying attention to where you were until you ended up dead center in the busiest part of the city.
Cars whirred by, their honks coming together to form a cloud between your ears that left you slightly dizzy. There was so much movement, too much from the life of a Friday afternoon that you felt the need to sit down.
You turned around in your spot with the intent to backtrack, to find the quiet path you had strayed off onto minutes ago before the city found you, but you couldn’t.
The crowd was dense and you were tired and slightly panicking, having never been comfortable with tight spaces.
The frustration in you grew, wishing you had never marched off, that Haknyeon had never said anything or even better, that Sanha hadn’t spoken out of context.
Everything suddenly became too much too fast and you felt the warm burning sensation of tears welling up in yours eyes, your hand clutching desperately at your jacket as you shoved with no direction.
No one bothered to notice the short human making their way through the crowd, trying not to lose their last grips on composure, blinding rushing to free away from the crowd.
You were about to cross the intersection when a strong force pulled you back with a blur of loud blaring horns and the rush of wind opening your eyes.
“Are you insane?? What the hell was that?”
The voice was panicked and angry and all too familiar.
Perfectly imperfect timing, you would conclude.
“What are you doing here?” Your voice was uncharacteristically calm and flat for the situation at hand. Every visible part of you was ready to fall from exertionand moreover, shock but your voice remained strong.
Sunwoo’s eyes were utterly confused and disheartened, probably not understanding your behavior but it only made it hurt more.
Those big brown eyes had been staring at you in fear for however long and not once had you seen it. Was the boy that good at hiding or were you that ignorant?
“You can’t storm off and expect for me to not care. You left me and you didn’t even give me a reason why.”
His diction clogged your throat and the little grip you had was wearing fast, “Don’t say it like that.”
Sunwoo seemed to find this even harder to comprehend by the expression he pulled, “What?”
You pulled away from his hands almost hysterically, the tears now finally falling down your face and giving way for everything you had tried to contain.
“Don’t say it like I’m going to get up and leave you forever like you mean nothing to me!”
Breathing was hard and you felt both on fire and completely frozen altogether, like your brain could no long distinguish between the two. Maybe the entire storm you were undergoing had finally derailed your brain processes to the point where you were completely unhinged, but you were now yelling all your thoughts with your eyes closed.
“Don’t say it like that, like my feelings for you aren’t genuine and like I would hurt you purposefully. When I say I love you, Sunwoo, they’re not words for you to hear, they’re words for you to comprehend. It’s not just a statement, it’s the feeling in my chest that you put there and I want you to know that.
“Sanha had no business making it sound like I’m hanging out with someone with any intention of furthering the relationship and hurting you. Even if he didn’t say it like that, he could’ve at least spoken to me about it. Daehwi is a lab partner for a project in Biology that I never even spoke to before this assignment.”
Finally, you inhaled, running short on breath. You looked up at your boyfriend, a fiery look in your eyes that caught him off guard to the extent that his left foot fell back a step to steady himself.
Your hand reached up to poke him square in his chest as you continued, “And you, God you, you should’ve spoken to me the minute you felt any doubt or fear, you should’ve voiced any concern you had. Sunwoo, you should’ve just asked me.
“Do you know much it hurts to know that you actually considered that I would leave you for someone else, or maybe even cheat? Goodness, imagine one of your friends asking you if you still loved me and then continued to tell you something that your partner should be telling you, not an outsider.”
Your body sagged then, the despair finally formulating itself into words instead, “Why didn’t you just talk to me?”
The boy couldn’t meet your eyes, his hands wringing themselves as he stood before you like a child being scolded by their mother, only this felt much much worse than when his mother took away his gaming console in the seventh grade. No, you weren’t just disappointed, you were hurt and that left a scar.
“I felt dumb.”
His words were surprising, as you weren’t expecting for him to tell you what was going through his mind so openly and quickly, when it usually took him a while to process the words and his thoughts. But you could see it, the way his brown eyes traced lines on the pavement, mouth open ready to speak the words his mind was trying to piece together, as if he was already saying them.
With his eyebrows furrowed and his plump lips parted, the boy almost looked lost. Lost in the city surrounding you and lost in himself. It brought you back to the purity you always painted him with, like an iridescent aura. A young boy lost in the emotions he feared exploring.
“What-“
“I felt dumb telling you that sometimes I feel that you could do so much better. You could have someone so confident and strong and experienced and yet you have me. And sometimes that scares me because even if you settled for me, you could change your mind and realize that there’s better out there. Someone who’s not afraid to kiss you in public or meet your parents as something more than a friend.
“It’s scary for me to realize that there might be someone out there willing to give you what I struggle to sometimes and although you deserve that and more, I want you with me and not them.”
Your hand slapped his chest, a sob breaking from your lips and not really knowing what else to do, you hit him again. “You fucking idiot. I didn’t settle. I chose you because no one is worthy of anyone but if there was such ridiculous value, you’d always win. Every single time. Because you give me a love no one else can.”
Tugging on his jacket, you pulled him closer and buried your head in his chest, letting the warmth of him soothe the cold tracks from your tears because you never wanted to him say anything like that again.
“You fucked up the minute you thought there could be anyone better for me.”
His arms weren’t hesitant when they folded around your frame, like the door shutting after a long day, you walked into your home and he shut out the bustle of a noisy city around you.
“You fucked up.” You said again, only this time more slurred but still audible to him.
“Yes I fucked up, but are we even surprised?”
Pulling away, you looked up at him, his eyes were big and bright and his hair tickled his long lashes, the smile on his face much lighter than the sky above you.
Sunwoo was captivating when his heart shone so brightly through his eyes and his expression. He wore his heart more literally than on his sleeve.
“Normally? No, but right now? Yes. You should know better, baby.”
Sunwoo pulled you back in again, this time his hug was tighter and urgent, him needing the security that your words promised.
“But for when you let the fear win you over, know that I fear losing you too.”
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Text
Not so Bad
Fandom: Warriors 
Rating: K
Warnings: None
Characters: Lionblaze, Berrynose
Relationships: Berrynose/Lionblaze, Honeyfern/Berrynose
Description: Lionpaw was starting to think there was more to Berrypaw than he originally thought. 
Lionpaw flinched as a wet and stinging sensation hit his cheek, letting out an involuntary hiss of pain out through his teeth. Out of pure reflex, he wanted to swipe at the cat causing him pain with claws unsheathed, but he held back and instead sunk his claws into the dirt of the den, reminding himself that the cat who was doing this to him was his brother, who was only trying to help.
Besides, if he laid one claw on Jaypaw, he highly doubted he would live to tell the tale… at least with most of his pelt intact, anyway.
He almost wished Leafpool was here. She would probably be gentle about the whole process with him. Jaypaw however, seemed entirely unsympathetic to his plight. Rolling his blind, blue eyes, the grey tom commented, “It’s a good thing StarClan gave you the gift to not get hurt that badly in battle, because you can’t seem to handle even the slightest bit of pain. I’ve tended to kits who have handled marigold better than you.”
Lionpaw rolled his eyes, but held the comment dancing at the edge of his tongue. After all, he had already made enough cats annoyed and angry with him today. He was currently sitting in the medicine cat den, with Jaypaw and Hollypaw sitting beside him. This was not too unusual of a scenario. Whenever Leafpool left the den for whatever reason, it wasn’t too uncommon for the three of them to gather here and quickly discuss things with one another. Unless there had been a battle recently, the cats of ThunderClan usually didn’t flock over to the medicine cat’s den, so it usually gave them at least a bit of privacy.
However, today the three weren’t there to discuss the prophecy with one another. No, instead, they were in there because Lionpaw had a small wound on his cheek. He couldn’t help but feel a bit embarrassed, heat rising from his fur. He wasn’t used to being wounded. The only cats who’d ever been able to lay blows on him ever at this point in his life were Tigerstar and Hawkfrost…
And those were very special circumstances. They weren’t ordinary cats.
Ever since StarClan had blessed him with the gift of being able to battle cats, seemingly without being harmed, he’d gotten used to the idea that no ordinary cat could ever hurt him.
Until today, that is.
But to be fair, how was he supposed to anticipate Berrypaw attacking him like that? After all, Berrypaw was supposed to be his Clanmate.
Unfortunately, no cat in the Clan seemed to be providing him any sympathy. In fact, a lot of them were disgusted with him, Hollypaw included.
And trust him, she let him know that she was not happy with him.
“You should be ashamed of yourself,” Hollypaw scolded, her tail swishing, “That was a horrible thing to say to Berrypaw.”
A spike of annoyance shot through him. Baring his teeth, he growled, “I don’t know why everyone is getting so mad about this! Did you all conveniently ignore the fact that Berrypaw was insulting me the entire time? But when I defend myself, you all get mad?”
While Lionpaw’s pride wouldn’t allow him to say it, he knew there was actually a flaw to his statement. Hollypaw though, had no qualms about pointing it out.
Narrowing her green eyes, she said, “His insults were generic and we’re used to him being a jerk. You, however, took it to personal territory.”
Lionpaw felt a bit of shame wash through him, knowing she was right. He had done exactly that, and he knew it, despite how much he tried to rationalize it in his mind.
It had all began when Brambleclaw and Ashfur had set the two of them up to practice battle moves with one another. The two of them were supposed to spar, claws sheathed. Things had been going normal with one another for a while. Berrypaw and Lionpaw took turns knocking each other down, Lionpaw acting a bit weaker than he truly was, knowing it’d be suspicious if he whipped out a battle move Ashfur had never taught him out of nowhere… and the two of them were growling out insults at each other.
And by that, it was mainly Berrypaw.
Lionpaw was beginning to wonder if StarClan had placed a curse on Berrypaw where if he stopped talking at any moment, he would die… and that’s why the cream colored tom always felt the need to have his mouth open. And unfortunately, since Berrypaw had a nasty attitude as well, everything he felt the need to say was mean or arrogant.
“You got more hair than brains, Lionpaw. Come on, surely you can do better than that?”
“I did better moves as a kit!”
“I expected a bit better from a descendent of Firestar…”
Of course, Lionpaw didn’t take all this verbal abuse lying down. He also quipped back some insults. At one point, he even made a jab about Berrypaw losing more than just his tail, which was a jab he was particularly proud of.
But at one point, Berrypaw said a comment that really made him mad. He forgot what it had been about at that point. There were so many insults being thrown around that time. He vaguely remembered it had something to do with Heatherpaw. He doubted Berrypaw knew about his and Heatherpaw’s nightly outings. Nothing in his tone and gaze seemed to suggest that he did. He had probably been simply referring to how much time Heatherpaw and him spent at the Gatherings, was looking for any cheap shot he could use. However, the comment still bothered Lionpaw more than he liked to admit.
So, bristling, he quickly denounced the idea of him having any feelings for Heatherpaw, saying. “I respect the code, as any Clan-born cat should.” Then, deciding to go for a cheap shot, he added, “If we should be worried about anyone, it’s you, Berrypaw. After all, you have the blood of loners inside you.”
He knew the comment was bad the moment it left his lips. However, it had been said, and Lionpaw decided to stick to his guns on it, hoping it wasn’t as bad as he thought it was.
He remembered seeing a flare of anger light up in Berrypaw’s eyes, more intense than he expected. Then, before he could even react, one of Berrypaw’s paws shot out and slashed him across the face, the claws digging into his skin.
It caught Lionpaw so off-guard that he didn’t even react, just simply blinked in surprise after the initial flinch, watching in shock as Berrypaw stormed off, Brambleclaw following close at his heels, yelling at him.
Even Ashfur looked a bit uncomfortable, as he dismissed training, meowing, “Why don’t you go and get your face checked out… the lesson is over for today.”
And now, he could practically feel everyone looking at him angrily as he walked along to the medicine cat den. It was amazing how fast word got spread around in this Clan. Guilt seeped into Lionpaw’s stomach, causing him to shuffle his paws uncomfortably.
Hollypaw kept going without mercy though. She said, “You not only insulted Berrypaw, but you also insulted Daisy, Millie, Hazelpaw, Mousepaw, and many other cats. How could you?”
“I’m sorry, alright!” Lionpaw yowled, in an attempt to get her to quiet a bit. He was sick of hearing her nag him about it.
Hollypaw narrowed her eyes even more and coldly said, “I am not the one you should be saying that to.” Then with that, she padded out of the den, making it clear the conversation was over.
Lionpaw sighed and looked to the ground, glad Jaypaw couldn’t see how defeated he looked. Voice tired, he said, “I messed up, didn’t I, Jaypaw.”
“That’s an understatement,” Jaypaw said plainly. Lionpaw couldn’t help but feel just a tad bit hurt. Couldn’t Jaypaw at least be a little bit on his side? Jaypaw looked at him with his blind eyes and meowed, “I think Hollypaw is right. Just apologize and get it over with.”
Lionpaw snorted, “I know I should, but that is easier said than done, seeing as this is Berrypaw we are talking about.”
If it had been any other cat, Lionpaw might have been more willing. But just the idea of apologizing to Berrypaw and lowering himself like that made him feel sick.
Jaypaw gave a snort, as if he could see where Lionpaw was coming from but he said, “Either way, I’d say just do it. It will alleviate your guilt. Or you could just not do it and get dirty looks from the whole Clan for a while.”
Lionpaw sighed audibly and flattened his ears, groaning, “Fine…”
This was not going to be easy.
---------------------------------------------------
Lionpaw decided to wait a tad, when emotions weren’t so high, but he quickly found that was probably not the best idea cause now cats were giving him extra dirty looks. Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight both had come to lecture him that day, Hollypaw wasn’t even acknowledging him, and Hazelpaw gave him a look so nasty, he actually was worried he would feel pain from staring at it.
So, taking a deep breath and pushing his pride to the side, he walked over to Berrypaw, who, like always, had Honeypaw sitting loyally by his side. He’d never seen the sweet she-cat look so angry. She looked like she was only one word away from clawing his ears off.
Berrypaw, seeming to see that Honeypaw was no longer listening to whatever he was saying, turned around to see who she was glaring at, and immediately flattened his ears, his face becoming hardened. Scowling, he simply asked, “What do you want?”
Lionpaw found himself looking away as he said, “May I talk to you?” Then looking quickly at Honeypaw he added, “Alone.”
Honeypaw opened her mouth and looked like she was about to protest, but Berrypaw coolly said, “Fine.” She immediately shut her jaws, looking somewhat disappointed. Surprisingly, Berrypaw actually seemed to notice. Berrypaw looked at her, rolled his eyes, and said, “This ought to be good.”
Honeypaw immediately grinned, much to Lionpaw’s chagrin.
After Berrypaw promised her he would come back immediately after they were done, Lionpaw and Berrypaw headed into the woods, Berrypaw’s face turning sour as soon as he turned away from Honeypaw. The two of them walked a bit in an uncomfortably tight silence… at least, that was how it felt for Lionpaw.
Eventually, once he was sure that they had some privacy, Lionpaw looked Berrypaw in the face and said, “Look Berrypaw, I am sorry about what I said back there. I didn’t mean it. It was the heat of the moment and I regret what I said. I think-”
“It’s alright, I guess.” Berrypaw said, cutting Lionpaw off. The way he said the answer sounded really noncommittal though, like he didn’t really mean it. Lionpaw opened his mouth to say something. What exactly he wanted to say was beyond him. Maybe he wanted to protest Berrypaw cutting him off, maybe he wanted to ask if Berrypaw actually did forgive him, when the cream-colored tom said something that caught him off-guard. “I should be used to it by now, anyways.”
Lionpaw immediately cocked his head and said, “What do you mean?”
Berrypaw looked at him incredulously, like Lionpaw was the biggest mouse-brain he had ever seen. With how much derision was in the tom’s voice, that was probably not to off the mark. Smiling humorlessly, he asked, “Do you really think you are the first cat ever to give me a hard time about being the kit of loners? Almost every single Gathering, my siblings and I got to deal with one comment or another.”
Lionpaw was about to say something, but Berrypaw continued. Flicking an ear, he meowed, “It’s actually ironic so many of the cats in the Clan got defensive when you said that, cause trust me, a lot of them didn’t want my siblings and I to join, your father included.”
He said the last part kind of bitterly. Lionpaw almost didn’t want to believe it. His father always seemed so kind and understanding, it was hard for him to think of him wanting to reject Daisy, who’d practically helped raise Lionpaw when he was a kit. But he could tell by the look on Berrypaw’s face that he was telling the truth.
“I didn’t know-” Lionpaw began, but once again, Berrypaw once again interrupted.
“I just thought you of all cats would understand, seeing as your related to Firestar, who was a kittypet, is all.” Berrypaw said, with a shrug, causing Lionpaw to wince. “But it’s alright in the end. It’s not like we like each other all that much to begin with. I am sorry for slashing you across the face.”
Lionpaw nodded and said, “It’s alright. You didn’t hurt me that bad.” Berrypaw nodded.
Then for a moment, it was just awkwardly silent, Lionpaw feeling somehow more emotionally conflicted than he had been before. Berrypaw, probably taking the silence as a sign to leave, he said, “Thank you for your apology, now if you excuse me-”
Right as Berrypaw was turning to leave and no doubt head back to Honeypaw, Lionpaw suddenly felt a strange need to not let it end like this. This whole apology still felt incomplete in a way. He had to word this better, or he’d never forgive himself.
“You’re tougher than most warriors, you know,” Lionpaw meowed, causing Berrypaw to freeze.
Berrypaw turned his head and looked at Lionpaw in confusion, saying, “What?”
“I am saying that you are a really good fighter,” Lionpaw said, awkwardly, feeling kind of embarrassed. He never thought he’d toss compliments at Berrypaw of all cats, but it was too late, he already said it.
Berrypaw’s amber eyes narrowed in confusion, as if he was expecting that this was the set up to a prank of some kind. Growling and flattening , he said, “Look, you already apologized. You don’t need to pander to me because you feel guilty-”
“I am not trying to pander! I am being honest,” Lionpaw hissed, his shoulders bristling. He saw Berrypaw blink in surprise. Taking advantage of the cream and white tom’s rare silence, he continued with a lash of his tail, he meowed, “Look, I’ve sparred with you countless of times now, and you know why? Cause you are one of the few who can keep up with me. You make me work harder than most when it comes to fighting. I’ve downed warriors faster than I’ve downed you.”
“Have you ever downed me?” Berrypaw commented, with a smirk.
“Don’t make me regret this.”
“Sorry,” Berrypaw said, though he didn’t sound all that apologetic. Well, Lionpaw supposed that was his fault for thinking Berrypaw wouldn’t at least take one opportunity to stroke his own ego.
“So, don’t let them get to you. You’ll be a great warrior to ThunderClan, no matter your origins. You, Hazelpaw, and Mousepaw will most definitely be. And if any cat dares to insult you about it at the Gathering,” Lionpaw sank his claws into the ground, “Make sure to make them rethink that statement next time they’re in battle.”
Berrypaw blinked once more in surprise, as if he was mulling over what Lionpaw just said. Lionpaw sat in uncomfortable silence, embarrassment growing in the pit of his stomach. He wasn’t use to giving compliments so openly like that.
He braced himself for the mocking that he was sure was going to come, but instead, Berrypaw smirked and said, “I am actually surprised, Lionpaw. That was actually kind of an uplifting speech.”
Lionpaw couldn’t help but find himself smirking as well. “Thanks. Don’t get used to it though.”
Berrypaw said, “Trust me, I don’t want to. I think it’d be weird if we acted all chummy with one another.”
“Agreed,” Lionpaw meowed.
“Alright, alright. I forgive you, mouse-brain. Now let’s head back before Honeypaw tracks me down. We left at sunset after all, and it’s getting dark.” Berrypaw said, already making his way back to the camp. Lionpaw saw the darkening sky and he realized Berrypaw was right. He hadn’t even noticed. He trotted after Berrypaw.
All of a sudden, the cream colored tom bumped his shoulder and said, “Also don’t worry about your Clanmates. Trust me, they will forgive and forget by the next day probably… Hollypaw being the exception, maybe.”
Lionpaw nodded. Then, with that, Berrypaw and him continued towards the Clan, until they finally reached the entrance and Berrypaw sped up to go join Honeypaw, who was loyally waiting at the end of the apprentice den.
Lionpaw watched him go, surprised as he realized that maybe Berrypaw wasn’t as bad as he thought.
And he made a mental reminder to give any cat who said any snide comment about Berrynose or his siblings a good cuff on the ear.
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Las Mañanitas
aka: dinner with the dead Rivera clan
aka:  Héctor gets some love
aka: Some utterly plotless, post film fluff fic
(Spoilers, obvs.)
It struck him sometimes how much she had aged.
Not that he’d ever voice such things, Dios mío, he didn’t have a second death wish.  But it did strike another melancholy chord every time a fresh observation presented itself.  When her voice got particularly deep, slightly crackling.  Or when she absently stretched out the bones making up her hands. Arthritis, she’d explained.  
She didn’t seem to mind these things, at least not enough to complain.  She had aged, but it was a well and graceful sort of aging.  It was just a part of life.  For Héctor, it constantly nagged at how much life he’d missed out on while he was stuck on the other side.  He’d missed seeing her hair turn grey.  He’d missed the crows feet and the wrinkles.  He’d missed a lot of things.
It wasn’t until midway through retelling the infamous la cabra incident, an event half the family had never once heard of, that he realized maybe the rest of them had missed a few things as well.
“Wait, how many goats?” Victoria adjusted her glasses, subtly leaning forward with interest.  Rosita added another unprovoked helping of tamales to Héctor’s plate.  They all had their preferred roles and family chef was one of Rosita’s.
“Thirty, at least,” he told them.
“There were not thirty!” Imelda protested.
“At least thirty,” he insisted.
“You are lying through your teeth right now.”
“No, remember, Señor Martinez running through the plaza yelling his herd had been spirited away.  Gemelos, back me up—” He implored Imelda’s brothers from across the dinner table.  They had been very small when it happened, but if they remembered anything it was likely to be more exaggerated, not less.
“It was enough to fill the chapel,” Óscar nodded.
“I thought it was forty—” Filipe offered.
“There were only five. Maybe.” Imelda tried but the story had already gotten away from her.
“So, in about ten minutes the priests are going to walk into a chapel full of drunk goats,” Héctor continued enthusiastically, “I’m trying to get the back window open, cause there’s no way I’m sticking around for that, I turn around, and Imelda’s climbing the scaffolding after the stupid cat!”
Julio and Rosita started to chuckle.
Imelda had gone rigid. “Well, the whole thing could’ve been avoided if you hadn’t let her out in the first place.”
“Don’t mind her, Héctor,” Felipe said.
“She’s just cranky because you're spoiling her reputation,” Óscar finished.
“Oh, I could never—“ Héctor gazed at her. She leveled him with the dirtiest glare this side of death.
“So, what happened? How did she get caught?” Victoria was smiling, and from what he could tell of his granddaughter that was akin to uproarious laughter in anyone else.  They all seemed to like hearing about the family matriarch in a different light, but Victoria was the most focused and by far the most blunt.
“Oh, this is the best part.  The big goat, the one that hated Imelda, takes a running head butt into the scaffold, and the whole thing comes crashing down.”
Everyone laughed.  Rosita gave a sympathetic, “Oh, ceilo.”
“I had paint in my hair for two weeks,” Héctor laughed.
“You were pretty reckless, Mamá,” Julio said.
“I’ll have you know, I took that fall and didn’t have a scratch on me,” Imelda interjected.
“Must’ve been the cat,” Victoria grinned.
“What was that cat’s name?” Felipe rested his chin in his hand, trying to remember.  Héctor started absently snapping his fingers.
“La princesa-- something--” Óscar trailed off.  
“La Princesa Bella Francesca Adelita del Amanecer--” Héctor recited.  A bout of stunned silence followed.  He’d always been good with names, but even he couldn’t believe he still remembered that.  “--Rivera.” he added, can’t forget the surname.
Rosita lost it.  She laughed so hard she almost fell out of her chair.  It proved infectious, and soon the entire table was roaring.  Héctor actually felt a pull in his sides from laughing.
Imelda had her fingertips pressed to her forehead, “¡Dios mío! I was four years old, everybody--”  She pulled her hand away to stare at Héctor until he’d calmed down enough to look a little apologetic for embarrassing her.  “I can’t believe you remembered that,” she said, equal parts horrified and impressed.
“Oh, that cat hated me,” he smiled, “a man always remembers the first thing that tries to bite off his ear.”
She shoved him in the shoulder joint, but couldn’t contain a small grin.  Héctor’s breath caught at the sudden contact.  His bones rattled.
“You’re the worst.” She slid her chair back, gracefully collecting herself and gathering the finished plates amidst smatterings of dying laughter.  When he tried to get up to do the same she pushed him back down.  “No, you sit.  Tell them about Señor Martinez’s cheese disaster.”
“Poor Señor Martinez,” Héctor winced at the memory.  “Whatever happened to him, anyway?”
“Pneumonia, I think,” Imelda replied, stacking plates on one arm.  She nodded at Óscar and Felipe, and the twins got up to help her.
“Aw, we should visit sometime.”
“So, were you and Mamá-- novios de la escuela?” Victoria asked out of the blue.
Héctor froze at the question.  He and Imelda were-- not fine, exactly, but at least friendly. A month ago she wouldn’t even speak to him, let alone have him for dinner to joke about the past.  The romantic aspects of their relationship still felt a little too touchy.  A little too raw.
“Something like that,” Imelda said simply.
Héctor quickly rerouted the discussion to the previously mentioned great cheese disaster of 1912.  He’d nearly finished when Imelda reemerged from la cocina and, without any warning, delicately placed a wrapped box on the table directly in front of him.
He instantly forgot what he had been talking about.  The box was large, about the size of his forearm, and covered in lively gold paper.
“What’s this?” he asked.  
Out of the corner of his eye he saw Imelda return to her chair, pushed a little bit closer to his.  Everyone seemed to be leaning in.  A soft, quiet anticipation filled the room.
“It’s November 30th,” Imelda said by way of explanation.  That day hadn’t mattered in a very, very long time.  He must’ve looked confused because she cocked her head and said, “You didn’t forget? Did you?”
“I sort of did,” he shrugged, feeling a little silly.
“Just open it, Héctor,” she practically thrust the gift into his hands and leaned back, arms crossed over her chest.
He felt like savoring this, the one honest-to-death, wrapped and everything, gift he’d been given in ages.  Once he started ripping the paper that went out the window.  He lifted the lid of the box open.
His eyes started to water. “Are these--?”
“We all pitched in,” Rosita pointed at all the bits and pieces, proudly explaining who had made what.  Héctor just concentrated on swallowing the growing lump in his throat.
“I-- I don’t-- I don’t know what to s-say--” he stammered.
“See if they fit,” Julio pressed, encouraging.  Imelda just sat back in her chair with a light smile. Proud of herself.
Héctor swiped at his eyes.
The shoe fit perfectly.  He was mentally trying to figure out when and how she’d stolen his foot without his knowledge in order to size it, and then chastised himself when the simpler answer moved to the front of his mind.  She’d simply remembered it.
“I feel like there’s a fairytale in here somewhere,” he commented when he finally felt like he could talk without choking.  He slipped the second shoe over his heel.
Imelda rolled her eyes, but more with amusement than disdain.  “Do you like them?” she asked.
“I love them. All of you. Gracias, all of you--” he looked at each of them in turn.  Victoria, with her dry smirk that seemed to know everything just by looking at him.  Eternally sweet Rosita, tearing up a little herself.  Óscar and Felipe, far too grown up from how he’d remembered them in life.  Julio, the gentle, calming presence of the room.  And Imelda.  Somehow he knew she’d get him back for embarrassing her earlier.
Imelda reached for his hands.  “Well, happy,” she counted in her head, “118th birthday, Héctor.”
That made his heart spin, or at least something in his chest cavity felt like it was spinning.  “You make me feel so old.”
“You just choked up over a pair of shoes, mijo, you’re quite old.”
Héctor could have kissed her.  Instead he just sat back and let it all sink in, like any rite of passage, the overwhelming rush of freedom that came from finally feeling unstuck. No longer was he trapped in the eternal living nightmare that was his 22nd year, displaced and lonely and wandering. He was just as old as she was. He was a grandfather three generations over.  And he didn’t even have to deal with arthritis.
Imelda held out her arms, waiting patiently for him to take the initiative to hug her.  She didn’t have to wait long.  
“Rivera hug!” Rosita called.  
They all but dog-piled his chair.
A/N: -The date November 30th is also Gael García Bernal's birthday. On top of being a nod to the voice actor, I thought the timing worked, just a few weeks after Dia de Muertos, soon enough that Héctor is still kinda new to the family but long enough that they've gotten a chance to get to know each other a little.
-Las Mañanitas is typically used as a birthday song. The lyric translates to Morning Song.
-I very nearly made the cat's name Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fanna Bo Besca III. If you know why, you are an awesome person.
-I cried like a baby with Héctor walking over the marigold bridge in his Rivera shoes.
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saskiaelly · 4 years
Text
Evaluation
Pick, Pack and Sell
-final packaging
What informed and motivated my design decisions? 
The main influences and research that lead my design process and lead to my final outcome were looking at current rubber glove packaging, specifically focusing on Marigold gloves for a case study as I found they are the most well-known brand of rubber glove and so important for me to look at for my research. I looked at sock packaging as I realised, socks and gloves have a similar form and so in theory could be packaged in a similar fashion. This proved very helpful and led to me choosing a box for my final packaging net. I also bought 5 pairs of rubber gloves in different types and colours to work off, it was important to me that I have a wide variety of gloves, visually to help inform my design. I looked briefly into some patterned packaging just because it’s something I find interesting and I enjoy that type of design. I didn’t want that to control where my design went though, as I think the product should be the main influencer of the packaging design. Looking into the colour of the rubber gloves in detail by photographing and swatching them impacted my designing the most. The whole focus of my design became using the colour of the rubber gloves on the packaging to create a bold and colourful design in contrast to current packaging I’ve looked at. Researching specific brands like Nixit that had a similar design style to my packaging proved useful as I could compare and contrast my own work to see where I could make mine better, it was also just interesting to see a similarity in the packaging when the products are different. I researched various different poster designs, from Marigold marketing, to other specific brands like Deliveroo and Jack Daniels. I wanted to look at designs that drew me in. I then focused my research on designs that used hands in their ads as that’s something I wanted to do with my rubber gloves. For my animated poster I found Adshels near where I lived and looked online at a few that caught my eye. Looking at specific campaigns with packaging, posters and animated posters like Nixit really helped give me an overall evaluative piece of research to use to steer my own designs for all my work as a campaign and not separate pieces.
What changes and developments has my project gone through?
At first, I had a completely different idea to the one I ended up with, after all my initial sketches I liked the idea of doing a traffic light design, however, the hand signs seemed to work better and had more to play with and better context to that design. Colour picking the different colours and combinations for my packaging took a while, with a few variants of the different boxes before I settled on the final colour combinations which I think work very well as a set now. Deciding to match one colour of each of the pairings to the colour of the glove inside was a big development as it meant I had to sit and match the colours properly, the green being the most difficult to get right. The smaller details like choosing the right typefaces, their positing and sizing didn’t change a whole lot from my initial design as it worked quite well however refining it did take a while to get right. Using the photography room to take photos of my work for my portfolio poster and poster went through a lot of developing as I had to retake some photos and spend a lot of time in light room editing them as the camera didn’t work properly. Deciding to photograph on a coloured background was a change in my ideas that worked really well and proved successful.
Did I manage my time well throughout the unit?
I managed my time far better on this project than on the previous one, I think because I’ve learnt better how I work now and how the unit goes. I can always do better, spending more time on the design process itself next time and I did get a lot of research done but found it difficult to take my time coming up with more initial ideas when I thought of one, I liked. It took me a while to come up with a design I liked which did mean I was a little rushed at some point but I caught up after I worked on the design and refined it more. There were a few obstructions in my process, being ill and the camera not working properly but I still got the work done to a level I am happy with. I would have wanted longer to spend on my animated poster as I just think I could’ve come up with something better had I played around on after effects more, but it was important I got my packaging finalised so I could finish my poster properly before I could do my animated poster.
How did I respond to my feedback?
As always, I normally agreed with feedback I received as I saw the same problem myself, I found feedback really helped me when I was struggling to come up with a solution to a problem I was having, like how to introduce the colour onto the front of my boxes. Help from my peers really benefited me again when I needed another pair of eyes to look at something, I knew wasn’t working but couldn’t figure out why.
Are there any areas of my design process that need more practise?
I think my initial sketching could do with more practise, to come up with more ideas no matter if I’m not too keen on them, to get that breadth of ideas. I also could spend more time playing around with my chosen design before finalising it to see if there’s anything better I can come up with. Perhaps documenting more, if that’s part of the design process, as I have a bad habit of doing a whole lot of work but forgetting to show any of the development in there.
What have I learnt from this unit of study?
From this unit I have learnt that I can actual do packaging design, it was a bit intimidating at first because I didn’t think I would be very good at it but I’m pleasantly surprised with my final outcome. I understand type far more, by analysing current packaging I know more about how to use it in the context pf packaging, and feel I have a better grasp on design hierarchy now. Colour has always intimated me to get it right so I tend to stick to a simpler palette that still works quite well and I’ve tried much more with this project to get better. Making it the focus of my design really made me push myself to experiment a little more.
On reflection are there any improvements that I would make to my final outcome?
I could have played around more with the repeated text on the sides of my packaging as I just stuck with my initial idea, apart from editing the colour it could be a bit more interesting. The front design of my packaging feels well refined but I could have spent more time drawing the hands on the front as I sped through them. I’m happy with my poster but I think I can always improve it, with more time I probably could have come up with something better. Making my animated poster smoother in transitions could have made it more successful, and just further refining all the smaller details.
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wooksbazooks · 7 years
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Hey hello good morning it's torture time. Can you Please answer all 100 questions because except for paying you back because you made me answer all of them, I'm also kinda curious about my Favourite Weeg. Thanks. Have fun.
Hello hi good evening thanks for the torture (no it’s fine I’m sure I’ll have fun)
1. Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?Spotify! I didn’t even know a music service called Pandora existed.2. Is your room messy or clean?Clean?? Kinda clean. Halfway between messy and clean.3. What color are your eyes?I’m gonna say greyish green.4. Do you like your name? Why?Yes, I like that it’s short and?? A little unusual maybe?? Also a few restaurants and other businesses share my name so I can make the dumb ‘haha that’s mine’-joke.5. What is your relationship status? Single.6. Describe your personality in 3 words or less.Buncha question marks7. What color hair do you have?It’s brown!8. What kind of car do you drive? Color?The non-existing, colorless kind
9. Where do you shop?Once every 49583 months you can see a cryptid (me) sneaking through the city, leaving with only H&M clothes probably10. How would you describe your style?As in clothes? Basic with like some things that are a little different and colorful I guess??11. Favorite social media accountThis account here on Tumblr is the only one I have left, I think.12. What size bed do you have?Just a regular-sized bed for one person.13. Any siblings?No!14. If you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? Why?I like living in Europe but?? In a country with a little more nature would be cool?? That would be Austria or Sweden or something right. That sounds pretty good.15. Favorite snapchat filter?From those I’ve seen, I like the ones that put little flower things and such around people’s heads. Those look nice.16. Favorite makeup brand(s)I don’t know any oops17. How many times a week do you shower?Three or four times probably18. Favorite tv show?Wie is de Mol? is a favorite!19. Shoe size?39 or 4020. How tall are you?I’m about?? 1,78 metres I think??21. Sandals or sneakers?Sneakers, though I’ve worn sandals a lot too when I was younger.22. Do you go to the gym?No, though I applaud the people who do.23. Describe your dream dateWachting movies?? Watching movies probably24. How much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?Ten euros, I think.25. What color socks are you wearing?They’re grey!26. How many pillows do you sleep with?Just one.27. Do you have a job? What do you do?No, I’m focussing on studying right now.28. How many friends do you have? I don’t know dude. I think about six Friends?? Of the Good ones, that is.29. Whats the worst thing you have ever done?I once kicked the leg of someone I was angry at for no real reason and I have Regrets30. Whats your favorite candle scent?I like the smell of citrus so maybe that?? Or like. the orange with the little thingies stuck in it, that scent.31. 3 favorite boy namesI never thought about this help uh.. Benjamin sounds nice?? Jax and Alex too.32. 3 favorite girl namesAlex again?? Luna?? And all those like. Long but graceful-sounding names those are Real Good too.33. Favorite actor?No idea, Chris Pratt maybe?? He seems like a cool guy.34. Favorite actress? I don’t know enough famous people for these things. Ellen Page seems cool as well??35. Who is your celebrity crush?I don’t have one.36. Favorite movie?Not ag a i n why I can’t choose or list all of them nowSome of them are the Guardians of the Gaxly movies, the Back to the Future movies, the first Captain America,  Star Wars and Star Trek, The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared, The (Second) Best Marigold Hotel and I could probably could go on but this is a Decent list right37. Do you read a lot? Whats your favorite book? I used to read A Lot more than I do now which is?? A shame really?? Because I like reading quite a lot. Some of my favorite books are The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy, The Martian and The Rest Of Us Just Live Here!!38. Money or brains?Brains probably?? Though it would depend on how much money and how much brains you’d have to trade for it.39. Do you have a nickname? What is it?Yes! Luku in text-based things and Lucie (Lookee) in spoken things.
40. How many times have you been to the hospital?Not a lot for myself, actually. Maybe?? Once or twice??41. Top 10 favorite songsI can’t dude I can’t but the songs I have on repeat a lot lately are Charger by Gorillaz, Girls by The 1975 and Short Skirt / Jong Jacket by Cake.42. Do you take any medications daily?No.43. What is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)Oily, my dude.44. What is your biggest fear? The death45. How many kids do you want? None, as of now. I honestly don’t know if that’ll change in the future but who knows.46. Whats your go to hair style?It used to be a really tight ponytail that looked Bad in hindsight so now it’s loose with maybe the irritating, fall-in-front-of-my-face part of my hair tucked behind an ear.47. What type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) I think it’s somewhere between medium and big??48. Who is your role model? I’m not sure if I have one. There’s not really someone that comes to mind.49. What was the last compliment you received?I got a text today from someone saying that I was good in reading German articles and answering questions about them because they wanted to know my Secret™ (which I don’t. have, sorry bud)50. What was the last text you sent?‘I’m on the bus’
51. How old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?I never believed in Santa Claus because he isn’t really?? A Thing here?? Or at least in my family. Sinterklaar though, I found out he didn’t exist durig my last year in kindergarden, I think. I must’ve been?? Nine or ten??52. What is your dream car? Those cars that are modified to have a bed in the back for travelling.53. Opinion on smoking?A bad habit that I don’t want to take up but?? Yeah. There are worse things, I guess??54. Do you go to college?Soon™55. What is your dream job? I have no idea. If I can enjoy doing it for as long as I have to or maybe even longer, I’m good.56. Would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?Both are fine, but the suburbs would be a nice change of pace for a while, I think??57. Do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? I haven’t, but I recently learned that it’s expected and okay, and now I might if I stay at a hotel again.58. Do you have freckles? Maybe a few yeah.59. Do you smile for pictures?Yes, when I’m aware a picture is taken.60. How many pictures do you have on your phone?2290, apparently. That’s.. A lot more than I remember being there.61. Have you ever peed in the woods?Probably yeah62. Do you still watch cartoons? Not really, but that’s because I don’t really watch television-things anymore besides movies and some television series and not because I don’t like them.63. Do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?I’ve never had chicken nuggets from Wendy’s, so I can’t really give a preference.64. Favorite dipping sauce? Is mayonnaise a dipping sauce65. What do you wear to bed? PJ pants and a big T-shirt, most of the time.66. Have you ever won a spelling bee?No, and I don’t think those are a Thing here. 67. What are your hobbies?Staring at various things on my computer screen, writing a little, watching movies, reading?? Photography when I’m at a Special Place™ or on vacation is nice too.68. Can you draw? To some extent, yes! It’s pretty fun.69. Do you play an instrument?My beautiful voice of course those sweet sweet vocal cords. No, I can’t play any instruments, but I do sing along to songs badly when I’m feeling it.70. What was the last concert you saw? Some free concert my parents wanted to go to, I can’t remember the name.71. Tea or coffee?Tea!72. Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?I’ve never tasted coffee before and never had anything from Dunkin Donuts but. the white chocolate milk from Starbucks is Pretty Good so my vote would go to them.73. Do you want to get married?No, not really.74. What is your crush’s first and last initial?Blank spaces, my dude75. Are you going to change your last name when you get married? If I’ll ever get married, I would like to keep my last name, actually.76. What color looks best on you?I don’t know, cold colors I think??77. Do you miss anyone right now? Yeah, I miss some friends.78. Do you sleep with your door open or closed?My door is closed when I’m sleeping or pretending to sleep when I’m in fact listening to music in bed or something.79. Do you believe in ghosts?No, not really.80. What is your biggest pet peeve? When people keep asking question and you Know they’re trying to get you to say a specific thing so they think is true.81. Last person you called?My mom!82. Favorite ice cream flavor? Cookie, yoghurt and the?? Reddish?? Berry flavor are All good.83. Regular oreos or golden oreos? Okay so golden oreos look like?? Normal cookies with the oreo filling?? They look pretty tasty, but I’d have to go with the regular oreos.84. Chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? Chocolate!85. What shirt are you wearing? A white shirt that says ‘I love cupcakes ;)’. I can’t remember when I got it and why that text is on it.86. What is your phone background?It’s a picture of my dog being a goof. I love him87. Are you outgoing or shy?Shy, out of those two. I’m kinda?? Silent around people I don’t know that well??88. Do you like it when people play with your hair?I don’t?? I don’t know. Maybe??89. Do you like your neighbors? There’s a house on each side of mine and the people on the right are nice and I like them, but the person on the left is an ass.90. Do you wash your face? At night? In the morning?I should wash it in the morning and evening, but I forget about it A Lot, so it’s mostly just whenever I remember or feel that my face is oily.91. Have you ever been high? No.92. Have you ever been drunk? No.93. Last thing you ate? Some potato chips.94. Favorite lyrics right nowWe got the power to be loving each other/ No matter what happens, we’ve got the power to do that/ On a le pouvoir de s'aimer, okay? Is surprisingly fun to sing along while sleepily making summaries, I’ve found.95. Summer or winter? Winter, for sure. I love snow and cold it’s Great.96. Day or night? That depends on my mood and what I want to do, I think?? I can’t really choose here.97. Dark, milk, or white chocolate? White chocolate please98. Favorite month? The spring and winter months.99. What is your zodiac signI’m a virgo!
100. Who was the last person you cried in front of? I almost-cried in front of a classmate some time ago, and I for-real-cried in front of my mother a while before that.
Thanks for asking Wari you’re the best!!
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daee-archive · 6 years
Text
One Wing
Was originally posted on my art blog. First short story for an assignment in class that I’ve done. Follows the mentor of my Dnd character and their first meeting. It’s not perfect but it’s a start.
Our story begins in a tavern off the coast of Shinklesberg, a small port village off in the shadows of tall ice capped mountains. The people here are of friendly sorts, warm people with kind hearts and full belly laughs. Walking down the snow covered port one could find a plethora of merchants shouting chants and sales pitches; making playful jibes at each other all throughout. The smell of hot soup, warm ale and sweet, sweet sugar chasing out most of the frigid temperature. It’s not often that a large ship will pull in, what with all the ice and slush around not many a sailor would chance pulling in; even if it was the only port for miles. Many a sailor would avoid such a place for withall the seemingly happy and pleasant company there was a dark sadness hanging in the air. This however, did not stop the merry band of merchants and sailors on the Vilkshen. The townsfolk of Shinklesberg gathered round as the big ship pulled in, chittering and chattering away. Many a gold endowed seller of this or that bustled off. Shifty looking peddlers of potions, poisons and other provisions - refined and haughty jewelry sellers, you name it and they appeared.  One such merchant was a small man, Dwarven it would seem. He wore fitted leather clothing, worn and slightly stained with oils and dust. His hands, calloused and dry were wrapped along the knuckles as if he needed extra protection. His heavy steel toed boots stomped across the wooden boards, muted brown beard swinging as he went. By the look in his eyes, a storm was brewing inside him, just waiting to be released. He made his way through the crowds toting a large satchel of wares, his short swept back hair frosting in the cold, wet air. His frown deepened, he hated the cold.
 The man continued down path after path, taking short cuts and little alleyways leading further and further into the deep crevices of Shinklesberg. Eventually he stopped, in a dank and musty alleyway, the smell of wet soil and ale in his nose. A single candle lit up a old decrepit door - iron bars along the look through window. He knocked once, twice and finally one third solid strike. The wooden peephole slid open, yellow eyes piercing blinking hazily into view.
“Whatsit want?” the nasally voice on the other side slithered out. Diamond eyes dilating slightly, darting back and forth. The Dwarven merchant snorted loudly through his nose, gruffly murmuring out, “same as it always is, business” The yellow eyes did one last slow slide before contracting abruptly, as if the owner had come to a sudden realization “ ah- ye the.. the Dwarven fella - making big money and all that. almost didn’t recognize ya with the short locks and such…” a loud clamoring was happening behind the door as he fumbled around getting the door open. “ I can't, remember ye name right now but I swear it's on the tip of me tongue!” The door widened to reveal a tall skinny reptile man - Dragonborn, standing in the way. Unlike others of his kind, this one was wiry and seemed to twitch like a rat waiting to run. He dressed similarly to the Dwarven man, all leather and worn, but the clothes didn't fit right and seemed almost to be put on as an afterthought. The man sighed, pushing past the reptile, “For the last time, Nadarr, my name is Yenfire.” Nadarr paused his closing of the door, head ticking back and forth, seeming to think it over “Yenfire… Yenfire… OH!” He slammed the door, rushing to lock it “Yenfire Giant Crippler!” Yenfire Frowned, “No! for the last time that's not my-” Nadarr brushed past him bustling down the hall, “Buisness been good, as usual for these parts. Got this n’ that to sell and this n’ that to fight!” Yenfire followed closely behind him, down stairs and passageways, keeping pace but growing irritated by the minute. “got a real good lot this time around, some real spitfires. Yer going to have a good go I’d say!” Pushing open the double doors before him, they entered what seemed to be an arena. Roughians and other shady folk lined the walls and the place stunk of blood and sweat. Yenfire dropped his satchel near the door, making his way around the ring. It had been awhile since he had been to this particular port, a port seemingly all soft bellies and happy laughter. No, he supposed it was those things, but underneath there was a more vicious and hard beast. The ring, the gambling and the black market and that is what he came here for. Yenfire Giantcrippler as he was known in this particular port - is a well seasoned fighter in the ring and a pusher of rather dangerous and rare goods. He got his name for the amount of times he's taken people quite literally 10 sizes bigger than him and won. It was not hard really, when everyone here has fought each other and has gained an inflated sense of pride. Today he would scope out the competition and rest up for the championship to in the next few weeks. He had no qualms about taking a day off to explore. He cracked a small smirk as he looked at the rough and tumble people around him, laughing, punching and getting riled up. Making his rounds however, he noticed a small group - teenagers it would seem corralled in the corner; laughing and jeering. This in fact was not unusual but something in his gut told him to go check, loud groups like that always lead to trouble. Now trouble, is not something Yenfire would normally go looking for, after all if it’s not profitable to him why bother? The amount of downtime he had that evening simply brought him to the conclusion that he could stand for some entertainment.
Popping his head in between the crowd, what he saw made his blood run cold. It was a child, a Tiefling child, probably no older than 13 being held down by an older human girl. Yenfire was aware of the wary feelings had about Tieflings, what with their demonic heritage and rather ruthless upbringings, this however was strange even in his mind. The tiefling child was snarling and sobbing at the same time, seemingly at war with themselves. They bucked wildly under the bigger child trying to get away. The older child was jeering at the tiefling making taunts and pulling at the child's wing. “One wing! Failure of a demon! your such a disgrace, ain’t nobody gunna be afraid O’ a freak like you!” She pulled harder on the small tiefling and the tiefling went still as the back of her shirt went ripped. There along the curve of their left shoulder was a scar, where their other wing should have been. The scar tissue was too clean and surgical for the removal to be an accident. The human girl stared for a moment longer before gesturing at the crowd of children, “well lookit here… One wing only got one wing because someone took it! HAH, a big bad tiefling, that couldn’t even stop someone from taking her wing? Ye know, me mom always said - this have to be even and equal…” the crowd Oooed and awwed as she brought out a knife. “Let me help you make it even” The knife made an ominous twinkle as the girl brought it down, before the strike could be made however, a large calloused hand had wrapped around hers. “Haven’t you done enough Marigold?” Yenfire stood over the two, hand around the girls, keeping it in place. She glared up for a moment before going pale, “m-mr. Yenfire sir! I didn’t do much I swear!” She scrambled off the Tiefling child who curled up and tried to be as small as possible. Yenfire wrapped his knuckles across the back of Marigold's head “Run along, I don’t want to see hide or tale of you for the rest of the evening” He turned to the crowd of other teenagers and children and shooed them away as well. When he went to check on the Tiefling child however he found them already gone, he snorted. Well, atleast it was less trouble than he thought it would be, he wouldn’t run into that child again anyway.
The morning haze brought a certain freshness to the town, little rays of light bouncing off the morning dew and frost. As Yenfire strolled along the alleyways he felt a gaze upon his back, it was slight but heavy. He sighed, if someone wanted to ambush him they might aswell get it over with. He continued on his way, ready for the pursuer to finally attack but they stayed at a distance - curious. The alleyway he was traversing abruptly opened up to the open market, the hustle and bustle of customers and sellers bringing life to the otherwise quiet town. Stopping at an empty stall in the middle of the marketplace Yenfire began unloading his more legit wares and organizing his stall. All the while the gaze never left him.
    About midday when the sun was high in the sky and the cold frost of the port was dulled by the rays he noticed a shift in the bushes adjacent to his stall. Whoever had been watching him seemed to be getting bored. He kept one eye on the bush as he called out to the marketplace goer’s pushing his wares. This continued on for days. Each day he would venture out to the marketplace to sell his stock, and each day he would be followed. When night hit and the town came alive with the nightlife the gaze would disappear and he would left alone until the next morning. Towards the end of the day, not even a week after his initial day here a rustle caught his eyes from the bush of his supposed stalker; a moment later and then a small head popped out of the side, blue as the night sky and full of leaves, skin the same light brown of clay and piercing green eyes turned towards him. It was the Tiefling child from the ring.
    Looking at them now they seemed to be less roughed up but no less distressed. The child, a girl, looked to and fro before scuttling up to his stall. He glanced around for a moment, they seemed to have been waiting for a lull in his patronage. Her tiny hands reached out to him and she produced one single gold coin. He laughed lightly, “Well then, what do you want to buy child?” She nervously glanced back and forth, whispering “ I would like you to…” He leaned over, as she seemed to get more quiet. “I’d like you to teach me to- to fight…” her eyes closed and her hands shaking she held that gold coin out. He stepped back from the stall counter, staring at her. Coughing lightly he brushed his beard “ Not sure what you're talking about child. I am but a simple merchant.” she looked up, acid eyes alight in confusion “but you were-” he reached across the counter shushing her “I wasn't anywhere, you didn’t see anything. now hurry along.” she frowned slowly, nodding her head and running into one of the alleyways; disappearing out of sight. Rocking back on his feet Yenfire scrubbed a hand down his face, fluffing out his beard. He had a bad feeling that this would not be the last he would see of her.
    And he would be right, over the next week she would brazenly follow him out in the open. Every downtime he had was full of her bringing him trinkets or stories to trade for “just one lesson!”. No matter how he cursed at her or shooed her away she would be back almost twice as determined. Quite frankly it was annoying. He knew he shouldn't have gone over there, trouble was never a good in the end, even if it was entertaining for a bit. Yenfire only likes 2 things in life, money and fighting; not children and not definitely not nosy children. Stomping down the alleyway to the ring he stopped abruptly, the small child smacking into his back. He turned around and although she was slightly taller than her in stature, he towered over her in presence.
“look kid, you need to stop. buzz off, scram, be literally anywhere but around me” She puffed up in retaliation, “no! y-you need to teach me!” he scowled poking her with on stern finger in the chest “I, don’t need to do anything. You are not my responsibility and if I had it my way, I never would have saved you in the first place!” He stood there huffing, waiting for a reaction from her; some sign that she understood that she couldn’t keep following him. For a moment she trembled as if she might cry there on the spot and he braced himself for her to become a sobbing mess. Swapping out with one small and angry fist she pounded wildly into his chest “Why! Why won’t you help me?!” Her voice scratching with emotion. With each hit he found himself getting pushed back farther and farther. He figured this strength was a Tiefling attribute. Grasping her hands he forced them to the side, “look. I don’t know what you want from me, but as far as I’m concerned, you don’t need me to teach you anything. You have enough strength already!” She reared her head back screaming at him “I don’t need strength I can’t control! I want you to teach me control - I saw you, you could have crushed her hand, broke it even! But you didn’t…I… can’t do that. If I fight back they won’t get back up...”. Letting her drop to the ground he watched her sob. Yenfire was not a man to be swayed by tears or sympathies, he should let her cry it out and be on his way. Honestly there was no reason to help her, no money in it and no entertainment. And yet…
    For the next month, Yenfire could be seen running through the streets, a small shadow at his back. He had agreed to train her, as long as she could keep up with him. So, day after day he would train; pushups, daggers, running, it was a new regimen every other day. For the most part his little trainee couldn’t keep up, not that he could blame her. She seemed to be okay strength wise, her control was getting better, agility was sufficient, but her confidence in her body and movements is what crippled her. He kept her busy most days playing with his smaller daggers, she seemed to like the quick movements; darting here and there. On one occasion while he lifted some sandbags she had come skidding into the training room with some strange contraption of a whip crudely wrapped around the dagger, he hadn’t been paying much attention to her babbling but she left him alone to workout for more than 20 minutes so he figured it was worth it. As the days turned into weeks and the weeks into months, the championship was finally on the horizon. Yenfire and the girl arrived at the ring quite early, grabbing good seats for both the spectating and involvement of the fights. The girl sat in the seats, swinging her legs as Yenfire went to sign himself up. A boot slammed down next to her, Marigold at the end of it. “well well well, if it isn't one wing. come here to get yer ass beat?” the girl flinched, glancing over at Yenfire, who seemed to be in a heated discussion with the register. “n-no, I’m just here to watch Teacher Yenfire compete.” Marigold rolled her eyes “well thats too bad, this years about teams you see, young n’ old. If you're not his partner I can't think of anyone else who would want to fight with him, no matter his reputation.” The girl looked over at Yenfire once more as Marigold continued, “but you wouldn’t stand the stage with ol Yenfire, would ya? after all you're just a worthless one winged freak. Me n’ My cousin would wipe the floor with you and him” with those parting words and a sneer in her direction, Marigold sauntered off. Not five minutes later, Yenfire returned, a frown on his face. “Bad news kid, they're doing some kind of tag team thing this year. A newbie and a seasoned fighter have to team up, and unfortunately for me, I don’t know many people around here besides you and other seasoned fighters.” He ruffled her hair a bit, her blue locks bouncing around, “guess you won’t get to see me in action then.” He stepped over the bench to start packing their gear when the girl tentatively murmured “I, I could be your teammate...” Yenfire paused, side eyeing her “oh? you could, could you?” She looked up at him, determination lighting her eyes. “Yeah, Yeah i could, we can beat everyone here. Including Marigold and her weird cousin.” Yenfire belted out a shocked laugh “If that isn’t the most confident thing I’ve ever heard you say!” His hand slammed down on her head one more time, bringing her into a headlock. “alright kid, let's give this a go” and so the two marched up to the register again, standing side by side. The registrar, a thin, severe looking elven woman stood unamused. “What is it this time Yenfire, I already told you, no partner, no fight.” Yenfire pushed the girl in front of him, gesturing “Well, my dear, here is my partner” The elven woman tipped her glasses, looking the girl over “Very well, and your partner’s name is?” Coughing lightly Yenfire came to the realization that he hadn’t ever actually called her name; just hey you, kid, runt and other things. The girl stood up straighter, throwing her shoulders back and her head held high. “ My name is Kithri Skywood, and I am the Giantcripplers apprentice!” The registrar looked unimpressed and simply ushered them to the side with the rest of the contestants.
    The rules were simple, each team has 5 minutes to incapacitate or ring out the other.  Weapons are allowed but no lethal force was permitted. Round after round commenced until they finally got to the second to last round. the previous round was won by Marigold and her cousin, they had dominated that round and quite literally thrown the competition out. Yenfire and Kithri finishing up their round with a knockout. The crowed went wild as the Marigold team and the Yenfire team stepped onto the ring once more. the Marigolds were a hometown favorite, but Yenfire was also well known to be quite the tankard. Although most rounds Kithri helped in ways she could, for the most part he didn't need her at all. It was both impressive and disheartening for Kithri. Once the bell rang to commence the match, the marigolds sprang into action, the older of the two, Joine Marigold went straight for Yenfire and started a grappling match. The younger of the two, Tammy took out her dagger and made a wild swing at Kithri. Dodging left and right Kithri danced her way around the ring, blocking and returning hit for hit.  She was almost too focused on her opponent that she missed out on Yenfire’s gasp of pain. Joine had stabbed a dagger in Yenfire’s foot, which although brutal did not count as illegal in the fight. Yenfire slowly was getting pushed down, his face scrunched up in pain. Kithri used the momentum from one of  tammy's wild swings to tip her over until tammy was face first on the mat. While she was down kithri vaulted over to Yenfire, securing her dagger to a whip. swinging the makeshift weapon the threw it at Joine and watched in quiet satisfaction as it wrapped around her. With a sharp tug, Kithri was able to disorient Joine long enough for Yenfire to remove the dagger from his foot and poise it at her neck. With little fanfare and a lot of cursing from tammy, the Yenfire team had won.
    Yenfire stood at the docks some days later. Watching the waves crash along the ship, They had won, and after that win Kithri seemed to find in her the confidence she lacked. He laughed to himself quietly, hopefully she would keep that confidence and be able to lead a good life here. Stepping onto the ship he breathed in the crisp winter air and stretched as Kithri shoved past him, a satchel on her back. Ah yes, of course she would follow him, because that is exactly what normal people would do. Yenfire paused in his internal ramble, he really needs to figure out a way to spot trouble when he finds it.
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mbepse1987-blog · 4 years
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WHY CHOOSE A BRITISH SHORTHAIR
why choose a British shorthair Dog Supplements What to Look For In a Canine Supplement The marketplace is blowing up with products claiming to boost the wellness as well as wellness of individuals making use of vitamins and also nutritional supplements. People are currently looking for the same items to enhance the health and wellness of their animals. The advantages of proper nutritional supplements are overwhelming and also can add several healthy and balanced years to your life, in addition to your canines. Dogs Age Faster Than Individuals Durability is attributed 30 percent to genes as well as 70 percent to lifestyle. Approximately 90 percent of illness in dogs result from the degenerative processes related to aging. Does Your Pet Dog Act His Age? Because pets age seven times faster than individuals, major wellness modifications occur in a brief amount of time. Pet dogs are considered pups for regarding one year, grownups from age two to 6, and elders at age seven. Gigantic breeds, like Great Danes, age a lot more quickly as well as are thought about seniors at age 5. Indications of aging in pets happen gradually, but usually begin at maturation, someplace in between age one and two. Dr. Denham Harman's Free Radical Concept of Aging, puts on individuals and family pets, including canines. This globally accepted concept states that aging is a procedure in which the body's systems weaken faster than the body can fix them. The adjustments occur because of oxidative damage brought on by unsafe substances called complimentary radicals. Free radicals are poisonous, electrically unstable molecules. As we age, they are generated quicker. Free radicals damage your pet dog's body similar to the method oxygen triggers iron to corrosion. They are harmful to your dog's hereditary product, his DNA and also RNA, his cell membranes and also enzyme systems. Free radicals are developed each time we take a breath. Direct exposure to the sun's ultraviolet rays, in addition to to ecological contaminants, air pollution, heavy metals and also anxiety add to free radical formation. Your dog's diet plan as well as medicines, such as anti-biotics, are additionally aspects. Free radicals deteriorate your pet dog's natural defenses as well as have been related to the development of up to 90 percent of the age-related degenerative problems we associate with aging: Cancer Heart problem Arthritis Diabetes mellitus Cataracts Early aging Our life expectancy, as well as the size of your dog's life, is inevitably established by how promptly totally free radicals create dangerous oxidative modifications to occur. For that reason what you feed your pet, in addition to the supplements you pick for your canine are both extremely crucial. Help Your Pet Delight In a Longer, Healthier Life Your Pet's Diet regimen You are what you consume, which's equally as important for individuals as it is for pet dogs. What you feed your dog directly impacts his wellness and wellness. The longer and extra continually you offer your pet dog an efficiently balanced diet, the better his possibilities are of living a longer, much healthier life. Pets, like individuals are omnivores and also can normally feed on a diet plan of meat, fruit and vegetables. Speak with your vet to establish the very best diet plan for your dog. Business selections worth considering include organic, all-natural diets such as Prairie made naturally Variety. Homemade, all-natural diet plans take more time and effort yet in most cases are well worth the extra initiative. Vegetarian and also raw food diet plans are another choice that, with cautious supervision, may give full as well as balanced nutrition for your pet dog. According to the Guinness Book of Records, a Boundary Collie in England named Taffy, lived to the spry age of 27 consuming an all-natural, organic diet regimen. Healthy Dog Treats Fruits and vegetables are healthy and balanced, low calorie snacks several family pets enjoy. Those abundant in anti-oxidants are particularly valuable for your canine: Oranges Tomatoes Pleasant Potatoes Carrots Cantaloupe Asparagus Tips Oranges are rich in Vitamin C, tomatoes are filled with Lycopenes and wonderful potatoes provide Vitamin E and Beta Carotene. Carrots as well as melons also offer Beta Carotene for your pet. Antioxidant Supplements for Your Dog: Sooner Not Later Current study files that anti-oxidants give very brilliant leads for increasing the quality as well as size of your pet's life. Additionally, researchers have actually located that earlier is better than later regarding your dog's potential wellness benefits. Antioxidant supplementation began as a pup, prior to free radical damage has happened, can boost the healthy and balanced life-span of your pet by approximately 20 percent. Antioxidant supplements, including Vitamins A, C, and E, the minerals Selenium and Zinc, and the nutrients Alpha Lipoic Acid and Coenzyme Q10, are the body's natural defense against totally free radical damage. They can help to safeguard your canine by reducing the effects of complimentary radicals as well as reducing the resultant degrees of oxidative damage. Other noteworthy antioxidant supplements for your canine include: Bioflavinoids, which help to decrease allergic reactions, asthmatic attacks and have anti-cancer benefits for your pet dog. Environment-friendly Tea, whose antioxidants might reduce the risk of heart disease and also cancer and also help secure the blood vessels nurturing your dog's heart as well as mind. Lutein, a plant pigment from marigolds, assists to secure your pet's eyes and also might minimize the danger of cataracts. Melatonin, a potent antioxidant that acts to stabilize sleep patterns. It likewise secures your pet dog's mind as well as has been utilized effectively with cancer therapy. The effects of antioxidants are useful as well as act synergistically for people and dog's undergoing cancer cells treatment. In well regulated research studies, people and pets treated with antioxidants (with or without radiation treatment and also radiation) have actually endured treatments better and also experienced much less fat burning. Extra notably, they took pleasure in a much better overall lifestyle and also lived longer than individuals obtaining no supplements. Nutritional Supplements for Your Pet dog's Bones, Joints & Cartilage Glucosamine is an amino sugar naturally created in your pet's body from glucose, which is your dog's blood glucose, as well as the Amino Acid, Glutamine. It aids the cartilage in between the joints keep water so the cartilage can imitate a pillow to absorb shock and also stand up to compression. Glucosamine is important to protecting the wellness as well as integrity of your pet's bones, joints as well as cartilage. It assists to: Decrease joint swelling as well as discomfort Advertise cartilage repair Help healing of harmed joints Boost mobility in pets with arthritis and also hip dysplasia Glucosamine is likewise a normal element of the urinary bladder in pet dog's and feline's and might help to eliminate urinary conditions. MSM (methyl-sulfonyl-methane) is a natural source of sulfur that functions together with Glucosamine to help protect the health as well as integrity of your pet dog's bones, joints and also cartilage. Crucial Fatty Acid Supplements for Your Pet dog Important Fat are vital to life as well as assistance all physical functions in your pet. They help to keep cell membrane layers soft as well as pliable, so your pet dog's cells can take in nutritional nutrients. 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Research indicates that the ratio of 5:1 of Omega 6 to Omega 3 Fatty Acids appears to give the best professional advantages, exceeding that of any type of private Fatty Acid alone. Amino Acid Supplements for Your Dog Glutamine is one of the most bountiful Amino Acid in the body. It is the significant energy source for the cells that line the digestive system and also reinforces your pet's all-natural defense system known as the immune system. Glutamine advertises recovery of the gastrointestinal system thus reducing digestive tract problems. It spares protein and lowers muscle mass loss during periods of injury, stress and anxiety as well as high endurance activities. Therefore it is specifically helpful for animals recovering from injury as well as for working and also reveal dogs. Glutamine additionally has lots of anti-aging effects. It aids to preserve memory and to prevent the unsafe impacts of Cortisol, the hormone that is in charge of speeding up the aging procedure in individuals and in your pet. Gastrointestinal Enzyme Supplements for Your Dog Digestive system Enzymes are generated by the salivary glands, belly, pancreas and liver and also are launched into the digestive system tract. Enzymes aid your pet's body to malfunction proteins, fats and also carbohydrates in his food so they can be absorbed and also used. Your pet's production of enzymes normally decreases with raising age. Diseases, stress and anxiety, food intolerances, allergies as well as medicines like prescription antibiotics additionally have a negative affect on enzyme production and also function. This can lead to a selection of gastrointestinal disruptions ranging from unwanted gas and also gas to diarrhea, life threatening dehydration and also malnutrition. Digestion Enzymes are essential to maintain your pet dog's total health. They improve the effectiveness of food digestion so your pet's body can utilize the nutrients necessary for power manufacturing and eventually forever itself. They aid the body to recoup from disease and promote repair of healthiness in your pet. Enzymes are useful to decrease pain as well as swelling after workout or injury as well as aid quicken recuperation prices. Enzymes support your dog's immune system thus improving his capability to fend off illness as well as infection. They have actually been likewise been utilized efficiently in cancer cells treatment for individuals and also pet dogs. Papain is an enzyme that has aspirin-like results to lower puffy, excruciating swollen cells in your pet. Bromelain is an enzyme located in pineapple stems that hinders the spread of lung cancer cells in computer mice. Digestion Enzyme supplements may be useful in canines with gastrointestinal problems, immune disorders including rheumatoid joint inflammation and also joint inflammation, cancer and a variety of digestive tract problems. They are particularly helpful in older canines with reduced digestive capacity. The Anti-Aging "A" Supplement Listing For Your Canine: Vitamin A/Beta Carotene: Antioxidant enhances resistance, crucial for your canine to use healthy protein in his diet plan Vitamin C: Antioxidant, required for tissue development and also repair, improves resistance, required for your pet's body to utilize Vitamin E. Vitamin E: Antioxidant, prevents heart problem, advertises wound recovery, required for your pet dog's body to utilize Vitamin C. B-Complex Vitamins: As a group, B vitamins assist your pet dog to preserve healthy and balanced nerves, skin and also muscle. Coenzyme Q-10: An effective, newly discovered anti-oxidant. Crucial for immune feature, helpful in cardiovascular disease and gum/dental condition for your canine. Alpha Lipoic Acid: Antioxidant. Helps your pet to bring back energy metabolism. Selenium: Antioxidant. Functions with Vitamin E to help your pet fight infection. Beneficial to pet dog's skin and hair coats. Shortages linked to cancer cells and heart problem. Zinc: Vital mineral your dog needs for healthy protein synthesis, promotes healthy and balanced immune system, help wound healing. Essential for numerous biological procedures in the body. Omega 3 & 6 Fat: Important part of cell membranes in your pet dog and is needed for healthy and balanced heart, mind feature as well as skin and hair coats. Bioflavinoids: Boosts absorption of Vitamin C, has antioxidant results and also promotes regular blood circulation for your pet. Glucosamine and MSM: Advertises typical healthy and balanced bones, joints as well as cartilage for your pet dog. Digestive Enzymes: Necessary for your dog to use and soak up nutrients from his/her diet. Melatonin: Immune modulator, antioxidant, activates relaxed sleep for your canine. Ginseng: A metabolic restorative to advertise brain health and wellness and overall wellness for your canine. L-Glutamine: Amino acid required for your pet dog to invigorate the cells of his digestive system so dietary nutrients can be correctly taken in and also made use of. Colostrum: The initial milk your pup receives from his mommy. Gives your pet with antibodies to shield him versus disease and aid immune function. Exercise: 20 minutes twice a day minimum for your dog. Balanced, natural diet: Feed your dog at least two meals daily. Fresh natural and also all-natural resources are best. Leisure: Stress and anxiety and also anxiousness influence pet dogs and also individuals negatively. Reserve an hour a day to unwind as well as enjoy your dog. Consider massage therapy, yoga exercise and also songs. Positive mental attitude: The mind-body connection is a powerful marketer of wellness for you as well as your canine. Pure water: Fresh, non-chlorinated water is essential for individuals and also for your pet dog.best cat breeds
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rilenerocks · 5 years
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The year 1990 was more than the beginning of a new decade for me. I had just survived three years of traumatic losses, hits to my primal weakness, abandonment. My cousin had committed suicide in 1987. My best friend committed suicide in 1988. In 1989, both my parents were diagnosed with cancers. My mom survived hers, but my dad died. My husband ran for public office and won after having lost an election 4 years earlier. All the walking door to door ultimately took out his back. After writhing in pain for weeks, with me sleeping on the floor because he couldn’t get comfortable in bed, he had surgery. Everyone was in a physical mess but me. I was working, helping my parents, helping Michael and taking care of my kids who were seven and two and a half. What a mad time that year was. I just ran from place to place, tending to people and trying to keep up with the daily demands of life. I knew I was changing inside but I couldn’t tell how those changes would manifest themselves. I was 38 years old.
  When 1990 began, I decided to try fixing what I could. I planned a trip with my mom and kids, wanting to meet a long held dream of hers to visit Colonial Williamsburg, Virginia. My dad wasn’t a big traveler. I thought that I could give her a dream and also get a few goodies for my tired brain. I’d spent years studying the Civil War and figured that I could pack in a few sights of my own that were near enough to be reasonable add-on destinations. What an ill-conceived plan. My mom never got a driver’s license, so I took off as the only driver on a 12 and a half hour trip with her and my two kids in the back seat. We managed a stop at Jefferson’s Monticello and then spent a few days walking the cobbled streets of Williamsburg. My mom had a bad knee. She’d stubbornly refused surgery and was favoring it a lot as we roamed around. I was excitedly getting ready to head for Richmond to check out the history and hit a few battlegrounds before we turned for home.
Our first stop was Jefferson Davis’ White House of the Confederacy. We drove down Monument Avenue, the site of many enormous statues which have since ignited controversy about celebrating the heroes of a slave-owning culture.( A story for a different blogpost.) When we arrived at our destination, I was immediately anxious as the house had multiple stories and no elevator. I tried to talk my mother into staying on the first floor but she insisted on seeing everything, stairs or not. Up we went and down we came. By the time we reached the first floor again, she could barely walk. We made our way to our hotel where the kindly matriarch of a family reunion there, dispatched some young men to help me get my dependent menagerie to our room. In those pre-cell phone days, I went down to the lobby to call Michael and both furiously and tearfully told him I was bringing everyone home the next day. I was angry and despondent. This was supposed to be the corner-turning time for me. Instead, it just felt like a continuation of the previous years.
We made it back home with me driving through some white-knuckle rainstorms in the beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains. We dropped mom off at her place and arrived at our house, the kids still miraculously alive. When we got there, Michael told me that the day before the return home, our dog Sydney had run out into the street to chase an animal and had been hit by a car. She was alive with a new thousand dollar leg. I felt battered in almost every way. But there was nothing to do but move on. During catastrophic 1989, I hadn’t any extra time to work on my burgeoning garden. Too many sick people.
We’d been in our home for almost 12 years. For the first eight or nine, we’d been reclaiming our old house from its life as a three apartment rental building. In 1930, at the height of the Depression, such a large home was too expensive to maintain. We were slowly converting it back into a single family residence. The yard was mostly barren except for some overgrown shrubs along the front sidewalk which were filled with huge weeds and volunteer trees. Over time, we reclaimed that space. We fenced the back yard and Michael started thinking vegetables while I gingerly began making my way through the world of flowers, shrubs and ornamental trees. I started with petunias and marigolds. Then the ball began rolling.
  I decided to attack the ground. My dear friend Joanne heard what I was doing and showed up one day carrying a big flat of perennial plants that had been sold on the cheap after a flood wiped out a lot full of flowers. Perennials. I knew enough to realize that you couldn’t just slap those any old where, and after reading what they were and what they needed, I decided to de-sod a large section of my south front yard to give them a proper home. Every evening after work and on the weekends, I became a human rototiller, digging 6-8” deep until I was in the dark rich soil for which this part of the world is famous. I heaved all the grass and roots into a wheelbarrow which I carted away every day. I planted all 36 of my new plants and then added more. Water and hope came next.
In the meantime, I’d crippled myself. My right side ached from hip to foot. I went to the doctor who prescribed painkillers and muscle relaxers which didn’t do much but make me groggy and feel as if my tongue was stuck to the roof of my mouth. While chatting with a friend, I found out about a unique Norwegian massage therapist who practiced the art of reflexology. I wasn’t sure what it was but was game for anything to relieve the pain. And in those days, I had health insurance that covered the treatment. I remember my first appointment. You would lie on your back on a table with otherworldly spacey music playing softly and Bjorg would gently begin elongating your body. Her motions were smooth, gentle and slow. I had the sense of being heated taffy, pulled into a shape other than the one I’d brought to her. The pace of each soft tissue pull was glacially slow and I found myself relaxing into it. As she went along, Bjorg asked me questions about my activities, basing those on what she was feeling in my body. On the first day, she told me that both my hip area and my heels were crunched up into balls that didn’t much resemble the normal feel of long muscles, tendons or ligaments. I wasn’t exactly sure how she knew all that but after she worked on one side of me, I could tell that it definitely felt longer than the other. I decided to make a series of successive appointments. After four of them, the initial pain which had driven me to her was gone.
That was terrific but even more interesting were the discoveries that she helped me make along the way. She would stop at a place like my thumb muscle and ask why I thought it was unusually large. I started remembering all the things I’d done with my hands. I remembered angrily squeezing a baseball bat while in elementary school when getting teased about my softball prowess and thinking angrily about how I was going to hit a ball far over the head of anyone trying to catch it. I could feel myself lifting my Danish cast-iron casserole and pots that I stupidly chose when I got married, never thinking about how heavy they’d feel after years went by. They never broke so I didn’t replace them – I just got more tired of lifting them. Why didn’t someone tell me about lightweight stainless steel? Bjorg told me that my neck felt like I was someone who hurled myself headlong against life. That sounded right to me. While working on my soft tissue in my thigh, she stopped and asked, what happened here? After thinking a minute, I remembered a ligament tear I got in that spot one summer when I was thirteen. My appointments with her began to evoke all kinds of memories which we’d discuss as she worked out my knots.
One day, I was talking with her about how surprised I was to be delving into so many things that had happened long ago. She made one particular statement that I’ve always thought about over the years – the body remembers its pain. I believe that and more. I’m not sure what magical powers Bjorg possessed. I always thought she might be some kind of shaman or witch doctor. But she resonated with me and said things about the human body and ultimately who we people are in our entirety that make a lot of sense to me. The body remembers its pain. We can all look at scars that we’ve acquired over the years. I dropped a glass jar when I was a kid, trying to use it to save newborn guppies from their cannibalistic parents who gobbled them up right after their births. While scrambling to save the babies, I gashed my leg, creating part of my body’s story. The vestiges of that day are visible on my right knee.
When I broke my nose when I was eight, it healed with a deviated septum. In cold weather, both my cut leg and my nose ache, the way you feel when you eat something that gives you brain freeze. I’ve taken some bad spills in my time, a few memorable ones from horseback. The images of my spine show the signs of those falls from my teen years through my early 30’s. As I age, they will exact a price from me as have the other physical choices I’ve made throughout my life. The body remembers its pain.
But what about our minds, housed in our brains, the memory areas stimulating the study of the hippocampus, the amygdala and other regions which are responsible for everything from motor skills to memory? The brain remembers its pain?
I suspect this is correct. But the accumulation of experiences over time make those memories difficult to access. Is this papering over of memories accomplished by personal cognitive necessity, by time or by a combination of both? Is preverbal learning and experience difficult to remember because the language tool is necessary for unearthing them? I don’t know the answer to these questions but my instincts tell me that even the smallest babies are recording and processing experiences that, barring physical injury to the brain, remain parts of them for the rest of their lives. The emotional and psychological wounds that affect us are as durable as any physical injury but are harder to see. The same is probably true for the good things that happen to us. What gets complicated is when we have reactions to situations that seem inappropriate to what’s actually happening and can’t feel or find the reason for those responses. I’ve been thinking a lot about this topic. My husband was raised by parents who should probably never had children. After they left him, very sick with pneumonia, alone in a hospital at age 2, he’d gotten up and wandered out of his room. He was then restrained to his bed. That was his first cognitive memory. When I met him, he was twenty-two. At the first sign of what he perceived as an emotional threat, he withdrew into what I called his rabbit hole, a safe alone place where he could protect himself. He’d clearly developed that place as a defense mechanism for when he felt isolated and threatened.  Happily, I was just the person for diving into rabbit holes, trying to discover why they existed. I, who was well loved by my parents, was encouraged to be outgoing and rewarded for that behavior. We made a perfect pair with our very different origins. His psychological wounds were always operating in the background. And of course, in time, the ones I collected were lurking around as well. I think that’s probably how it is for most of us. Some people have no idea how they came to be who they are and are utterly uninterested in figuring it out. They choose to be shut off from those painful times. Others, like me, go poking around all the time, looking for reasons for everything. From my personal vantage point, I find that looking for and through those painful times ultimately disarms them from their power to resurge and take over my behavior. They are from the long ago. I guess we all have to find what works for us. I still can’t help wishing I could convince everyone to try things my way. Michael wished I would intermittently “take a hike,” and stop tromping around in his scar-filled interior landscape. Oh well….
Some time ago, I was walking down a sidewalk and a woman was walking toward me, pushing her baby in a stroller. The baby made eye contact with me which held as we got closer and closer to each other. I made a concerted effort to smile brightly and warmly at this child although I knew it was unlikely we’d ever see each other again. The way I see it is this – I’d rather make a positive, happy, even if unremembered, memory than scowl and put a durable wound into a little head. Maybe that’s simplistic but I’m well-intentioned.
Durable Wounds The year 1990 was more than the beginning of a new decade for me. I had just survived three years of traumatic losses, hits to my primal weakness, abandonment.
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marvelxqueens-blog · 7 years
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Persuasion: chapter 12- After.
Pietro Maximoff x OC Inside the hospital room, everything was still. Pietro's skin was pale and almost translucent except for a faint tint in his hollow cheeks. It would be easy to mistake him for dead I realise with a sharp pang. In my grasp his hand is cold, unmoving. After I bought him back to life initially, the doctors did the rest supervised by Helen Cho who has thankfully recovered since Ultrons attack on her. Pietro had a constant flow of medicines, blood and various other liquids pumped into him to help him recover. He's in a steady condition now. Except that he's in a coma and has been for 3 weeks. A nurse had changed him straight away into a plain hospital gown so he's no longer wearing the torn and bloodied clothing he had on for the battle. But I can still see the bullets when I close my eyes. Letting go of Pietros hand, I stand up shakily and move to the window. Beneath me grass stretches out to the edge of a  forest, a group of agents dressed in black uniform run across. Usually I would be joining one of the training sessions, but Steve and Natasha have called an avengers meeting today in half an hour. The door to the Pietros hospital room clicks open, and I turn expecting a docter or nurse coming to check up or try to shoo me away again (they disapprove of my daily visits. It must seem pointless to them, sitting and talking to a man who probably can't even hear me.) "Oh, Katie! I didn't realise.." Wanda blurts out, not entering the room. "Wanda, it's alright come in." I say offering a small smile. It's not like she was interpreting a deep conversation, I think sarcastically. The female maximoff makes her way over to Pietros bedside, pulling up a chair. I know that Wanda comes as often as me to Pietro, but somehow we've never been at the same time. Until now. A heavy silence falls over the room like dust, and I tug on a piece of hair nervously. I'm not quite sure why I'm nervous, I have no reason to be.  I feel like we have a lot to say to each other, that we just can't put into words. I guess her brother has pulled us together, somehow. It's not like it's the first time we have been together after the battle, we have had a few training sessions together as our abilities are similar in ways and have hung out with some of the others together. But being in this room, with Pietro in a state of stupor, it's as if were both raw and bleeding for each other to see. Guilt fills me as I think of the pain  and heartache she must be going through, not being able to help her twin who has been with her through everything Because he saved me. "Um..I should go.." I say, shifting on the spot. "Please...please stay." Wanda says tearing her gaze from her twin to me, hastily wiping her eyes. She is still beautiful but the lack of sleep and worry is evident on her face. I wonder if I have the same look. "It's my fault he's like this.." I whisper, looking at my hands. "this is the second time he's saved my life, and he's paid for it and... You must hate me for this, and I don't disagree. Your brother, he is so brave and I'm eternally great full to him not that it means much, but I don't know how to say what I feel. I've never been good at expressing my feelings and-" "Katie," Wanda interrupts,smiling "you saved my brothers life." She stands up, walking over to me (while I open and close my mouth,like a fish, unable to think of anything to say.). Suddenly Wanda pulls me into a hug. "Without you, I would not have my brother. You have saved us both." She says pulling away from our embrace to smile at me, her eyes shining with tears. "My brother, he acts quickly on his heart. When he saw you were in danger, he moved to protect you. He is very protective of the things and people close to him. If he knew that this," she gestured to Pietro" would happen, he wouldn't hesitate to do it again." I smile sheepishly at her, blushing. "I'm sure he would have done it for anyone.." "Your right, he would have. But he wanted to do it for you. Do you understand, Kat? You have a very strong bond between you already, he is very...he is already very attached. After all he is quicksilver." She giggles. Laughing along with her, I pull Wanda in for another hug. " why was I not invited to this BFF hug?" Breaking apart, Wanda and I turn to look at Tony poking his head through the door. "Anyway, putting my hurt aside, I need to steal Kat." He says, then checks his watch. "Sure, one sec." I reply, picking up my phone from the table and slipping it in my pocket. "See you at the meeting Wanda!" I say with a small wave, leaving after Tony. Closing the door behind me, I catch up with Stark. "What's up?" I say, walking backwards to look at him. "I'm leaving." I stop rapidly and Tony almost crashes into me. "Leaving?" "Yeah kiddo, not far away though." Nodding mutely, we start to walk again. "I'll be dropping in, I just can't stay here 24/7 and I didn't train with the rest of the team before all of this anyway. I'll still be part of it all, just not eating dinner with the team everyday. I need to be close to pepper, I'm sure you understand what with sonic." He says, winking at me. "How he doing by the way, we seem to have a lot of sleeping superheroes. First capsicle, he's a bad influence on us all." Tony says, shaking his head. "Says you stark!" I grin, but it falters a bit when I think of Pietro's sate. "Pietro is...better. Cho says he is perfectly healthy, he's just unable to wake up I guess." "What about true loves kiss? That woke sleeping beauty last time." Tony says, nudging my with his elbow. I roll my eyes at him as we walk through a door. Into a corridor with a glass wall, Steve and Thor talking in the middle. Before we get closer to the pair, I reach out to touch Tony's arm. "Promise you'll visit often though Tony." "I promise kiddo. I wouldn't want to leave you alone with this lot, and we have unfinished business in the lab about your abilities. I could also do with a temporary sane person in there.. What with banner.." A look of sadness fills Tony's eyes at the mention of Bruce, before he coughs and looks back at me smirking. "Plus you'd miss this face to much." Punching Tony playfully on the arm I skip away from him towards the super soldier and Norse god. • "But if you put the hammer in an elevator..." "It would still go up." "Elevator's not worthy." The sunlight hits my face, and I smile up at it warmth filling me. "I'm going to miss these little talks of ours." "Not if you don't leave." Tony says hopefully, reminding me of a puppy. "And stay with us forrrrrever....." I purr in a sing song tone. "I have no choice. The Mind Stone is the fourth of the Infinity Stones to show up in the last few years. That's not a coincidence. Someone has been playing an intricate game and has made pawns of us." "Once all these pieces are in position..." "Triple Yahtzee?" Tony interjects humorously. "Bingo." I add. "You think you can find out what's coming?" "I do. Besides this one, there's nothing that can't be explained." Thor muses, then pats Tony. Striding forwards he raises his hammer. A burst of lightening consumes him from the sky in a swirl of white, blue and silver. "That man has no regard for lawn maintenance." Stark says bluntly. "I like the pattern." "I'm gonna miss him though." Steve says, as our trio starts to walk to Starks car. "And you're gonna miss me. There's gonna be a lot of manful tears." "I will miss you, Tony." I cough to cover my giggle. "Yeah? Well, it's time for me to tap out." "Maybe I should take a page out of Barton's book and build Pepper a farm. Hope nobody blows it up." "The simple life." "With all the stark luxuries." I grin, Tony sticks his tongue out at me before returning to cap. "You'll get there one day." "I don't know. Family, stability. The guy who wanted all that went in the ice 75 years ago..I think someone else came out." "You all right?" "I'm home." Steve smiles, and a tinge of sadness spikes my heart. I guess that makes more than one of us without a home. Jumping into his car, Tony starts the engine. He looks at us over his expensive sunglasses. "Don't forget- party tomorrow at the tower, 7pm sharp." "Party?" I frown, eyebrows scrunching. A party now? I couldn't think about leaving Pietro alone- what if he wakes up? Will he wake up? "Yes kitty Kat!" Stark rolls his eyes. "Make sure she comes Cap!" "How are you doing Kat?" Cap asks me as we stroll back up to facility. The gravel crunches beneath our feet, the previous peaceful silence rippling away like waves. "Me? I'm...I'm ok Steve.." I say, twisting my hair. Is that right? Was I ok? I hadn't thought about that... "It's over for now, the battle. Everything will be ok in the end. " "And if it's not ok, it's not the end?" I breathe, smiling. "What?" Steve asks when I giggle, a puzzled look on his face. "It was a reference, from a movie." "Which one?" "The best exotic marigold hotel." "I'll put it in the book." • "Avengers...assemble!" "Dramatic much."
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