Tumgik
#because last night my brain just wouldn't shut itself down for sleep
Text
Best and Worst of both worlds (part 7)
Tw: vomiting, sick reader, implications that the housemates r jerks before, imo boring chapter just some comfort for sickness times
Vote the poll down below n im gonna start making the next part after 20 votes
part 8
You can barely get out of bed.
That means you didn't get to clean up your post-exam clutter. Making the entire room miserable and almost unhabitable. You couldn't sleep because you had a terrible fever, needing to eat a couple of paracetamols to cool yourself down.
Anything that goes in your mouth comes back up. You wouldn't want to waste your food anymore, so you simply stopped eating.
You woke up to loud knocking, borderline banging on your door and to the voice of your housemate. She's yelling about someone being here to see you.
That can't be right. Why would anyone want to visit you? You're not asking this in a self depreciating way, but in a logical sense where you knew no one knew you're suffering from food poisoning.
Except...
Realization dawns upon you when you hear a series of softer knocks. You heard Yves's muffled voice from the outside, asking you to open the door for him.
You checked your phone. It's four in the afternoon. He should still be at the library, why is he here?
Then your focus went to the notification banner about the four missed calls he left.
"(Name)? It's Yves. You haven't been answering my calls. I'm worried about you."
The last person you want to see now is goddamn fucking Yves. Yesterday already took a toll on you, having him over is going to worsen the illness- if the fever didn't fry your brain, the stress would.
You refused to answer, covering your head with your pillow as he continued to knock.
Eventually though, he stopped. The walls are thin so you could hear him ask your housemate about you. She said you were hurling all night, keeping everyone awake. They witnessed you trying to eat a cooked packet of instant noodles, but you immediately threw it all up the moment you swallowed a forkful.
"I see." You hear him reply. "May I see the kitchen?" He asked.
She was taken aback by the request, a kitchen shared by 7 other students isn't going to be the cleanest. There was a pause before she told him that it was messy.
"That does not matter." He responded. You heard a sigh and she verbally told him to go ahead.
You're sure he knows what the condition of it is. He was there yesterday for the trash bags. You wonder what business he has there.
When you hear him walk away from your bedroom door, you force yourself and your aching muscles to creep out of your room. Planning to eavesdrop on his conversation.
"Is this all they eat?" His voice echoed through the hallway.
"Yes. I literally have never seen them eat anything else. Maybe the occasional cold pizza slice or two, but that's it. I don't think they even own a frying pan. Sometimes I wonder how that bastard is still alive." Ouch. A simple Yes would suffice. Why did she have to air your dirty laundry like that?
You heard the fridge open.
"Yeah, this was supposed to be their side of the fridge, but it was always empty. So we used it as a spare." Yves hummed in response.
You rushed back into your room when you heard his heels begin to strike the floor. Quietly shutting the door and tucking yourself into your bed.
Perhaps he's giving up, you're not coming out of your-
You stared wide eyed as the knob twisted by itself.
You forgot to lock your door. Shit, you fucking forgot to lock your door.
You heard one last set of calm knocking and Yves voice: "(name), I'm coming in."
He pushed it open and you see his tall, slender frame coming into view. His hair is flowy and luscious as usual, clear skin and pristine makeup on his beautiful face. While you look like crap. And your room looks like crap, you can barely see the floor.
You gape at the square of translucent hydrocolloid dressing on the back of his hand. Looks like his burn yesterday started to blister.
"Damn! You live like this?" Your housemate expressed her disbelief when her eyes landed on the clothes, indiscernible between used and washed, strewn all over the place. The opened drawers and stacks of empty cups.
You hid under your blanket, you told her to shut up and get the fuck out of your room.
"Alright, you're a grump cause you're sick. But just so you know, you're still on garbage duty this week." She responded.
You groan, telling her that you knew that already. You told her to go away. But she doesn't respect you, none of your housemates do.
"Could you excuse us, please?" Yves politely dismissed her. She agrees and leaves your room immediately. Yves closes the door to maintain some privacy.
You remained hidden under the sheets, not wanting him to see you so vulnerable.
"You poor thing." He sighed. You felt the bed dip as he sat on the edge. He gently peeled the blanket off your head, using the other hand to stroke your hair.
"You haven't eaten today, have you?" The fingers running through your grimy hair was... comforting. Too comforting, perhaps. You involuntarily started tearing up and crying, being reminded of a simpler time in your life. It brought back the feelings of security and safety, which you haven't felt in such a long while. You forgot how it felt, and it felt extremely good.
He stopped his caresses, but rested his hand on your scalp.
You told him you didn't mean to weep. You had no idea what has gotten into you. However, you're sure you're crying because of the state of your room and how two people had to see it- which includes someone with opinions you value very much: Yves.
He continued his affectionate touches as tears kept falling from your eyes.
No further words were exchanged between the two of you. Yves kept you company until you fell asleep from his rhythmic stroking. He pressed a kiss on your forehead before standing back up.
Yves sets his bag on your bed, he gets to work picking up stray articles of clothing from the floor. He dropped them all into your laundry basket in a messy pile.
Yves picked it up with no effort and carried it on his hip. He left your room and headed towards the basement, where the dryers and washing machines are kept. He knows where it is despite no one ever telling him.
--
You woke up with a jolt, thinking that Yves intruding your room was just a crazy fever dream.
Except, the presence of his unique luxury bag is right next to you. Scanning your surroundings, you definitely can tell Yves made his mark here.
You can see the floor again, you didn't know that it's that shiny and clean. All your clothes are missing and the corners are clear of any old trash. Everything you own is organized neatly, the shelves are displaying their respective categories in order. Your desk was wiped down and your textbooks arranged by colour.
Your room is unrecognizable, it wasn't even this nice when you first moved in.
Yves is nowhere to be found. You weakly got up and dragged yourself to the door. Locking yourself in and Yves out.
You always wondered what is in that bag. It seems to be carrying an impossible amount of items. Though, he uses a briefcase for his laptop and notes on weekdays, it's impressive that he managed to fit an umbrella in this small bag among other things.
You opened it and began rummaging through.
A lipstick, a compact mirror, disposable wet wipes, a hydrating facial spray, dry facial tissues, a hairbrush, his phone, a tin of breath mints, his oddly thin wallet- it made sense, the rich wouldn't carry around wads of cash. Only cards; An army Swiss knife, bandaids, a rectangle of a foldable grocery bag...
A set of keys attached to his car fob, a pen, some unidentifiable medication; it's printed in a foreign language, a case containing his reading glasses, another case that contains his sunglasses, portable eating utensils, a bottle of hand sanitizer, disinfectant spray, a power bank, charging cables, a portable fan, a hand fan, electronic ear buds, ear plugs...
Your jaw dropped in disbelief as you kept finding more things; perfume, a scrunchie, a couple of hair ties, sun screen, ointment, his reusable stainless steel thermal cup, lip balm, a face mask, portable paper soap, a stack of sticky notes and of course, an umbrella.
You dug deeper and found out that he's also hiding a scarf in there!
All that with heaps of space to spare, it doesn't look bulky from outside or in. You tried lifting it up by the handles, but it felt like you were trying to lift a barbell with one hand. It was bizarre how he could find what he wanted in the nick of time with all these things. Granted, it was neatly partitioned before you searched through it- oh. You messed up his system.
Shit! You're going to embarrass yourself again!
Well, you still have time. The door is locked and he isn't here yet, you could try putting it back.
You heard the door knob rattle. That must be him, he can't possibly get in right?
Your blood turned to ice when you heard the jingling of some keys. Of course, it's Yves. He would know to take your own keys with him. You heard him unlock your door.
You panicked and tried to hop out of bed, so you could barricade the door with something. But while doing so, you knocked the bag off the bed and made the contents of it spill out.
You let out a distressed yelp, his ten million things spread out all over the floor, some rolled under your bed.
"Did I startle you? I apologize." He came in with a laundry basket filled with freshly washed clothes. They're dry and warm to the touch. The basket looks noticeably clean too. Did he scrub it down? The dust and mold are gone, it went back to looking brand new.
You began apologizing, saying that you didn't mean to knock his bag down. You saw that as a potential escape from getting caught snooping around.
"No, it was my fault to leave it near the edge. It was bound to fall." He set the basket down and calmly began picking his belongings off the floor.
You let out a discrete sigh of relief. You're off the hook.
But obviously he knows what you did. His scarf shouldn't even be out of his bag, as he packed it at the bottom. His keys, lipstick and wallet should be the first to leave, yet it remained safely in the toppled bag because you flipped everything upside down while being a nosy person.
Plus, it was zipped up in the first place.
If he didn't want you peering in, he would have hidden it under your bed.
You got down on your knees and helped him collect the items. You dumped it back into the handbag, but Yves nonchalantly pulled it all back out to organize them himself.
"Thank you." He stood back up and securely placed it on your nightstand.
He turned to you and crowded you against the bed. Yves slid his hands under your chin, where the pulse is, checking your temperature by touch. You flinch and squirm because you're ticklish, but he paid no mind to it.
"You're having a fever." He noted. You release a baited breath when he lets you go, reaching for something inside his handbag.
You watch him unscrew the lid of his thermos cup. There isn't any particular Colour to the liquid. But there was a faint fruity scent emanating from it. The ice cubes bob around the mystery fluid. He also produced a metal straw which he plunged into the drink, you must have missed it when you were rummaging through.
He popped two tablets of paracetamol out of a blister pack and brought them to your lips. It's better to just let him feed you, so you took it in your mouth.
"Take small sips." He brought the straw to you.
The beverage is... salty. And sweet. It's sickeningly fragrant for a drink that's supposed to be enjoyable. Except it's not, it's an electrolyte solution he prepared to make up for the ones you lost. The coldness saved it.
You didn't realize how thirsty you were, he placed the cup in your hands before walking back to the laundry hamper. He opened a drawer and began folding your clothes into a neat stack.
You're starting to think he just likes silence. He has a perfectly functioning pair of expensive earbuds, but he doesn't use them neither does he want to initiate a conversation with you.
You put your drink away and flopped down onto your bed. You picked up your phone and decided to check your notifications.
You received a number of messages from the group chat with your housemates.
"(name) u gotta get ur bestie to visit more cuz this is the cleanest the kitchen has ever been!!!"
Attached to it is a series of before and after pictures of the entire house. You almost couldn't recognize the place, it was tidy and sparkling clean.
The rest of your housemates agreed in text, telling you that he was such a pleasant conversationalist.
"oh ya idk if hes still here but he made a massive pot of congee for u, its a fuckin banger u should try it" "Damn u lucky as hel to have him take out da trash on ur behalf, that shit was nasty and he did it without gloves too" "His car is still outside, he has got to be here." "oh shiiiittt hes gotta be LOADEDDD with a hot ride like that. where did u find him??" "Omg!! I need his recipe!! Can you ask him for it, pretty please, (name)? Maybe his number too??" "lawlz not u being hornyz on main" "lmaoo fuckin simp" "im not!! :(( he's just so sweet and handsome, im not stealing their man or anything, i just wanna get to know him!! you guys are just mean!!" "whatever u say president desperate"
You read all their text messages that devolved into banterings, looks like all your housemates know him now. You wonder what he talked about with them. What was there to talk about?
You were brought back to reality when you heard him shut the draw. He left your room once more to retrieve something.
Your phone pinged, alerting you of another text message.
"BRUH hes really still here"
Shortly after, you received a picture taken in the kitchen. Looks like the photographer tried to be subtle from its angle.
The photo showed Yves's back as he scoops something from a pot into a bowl, using a metal ladle.
"shit (name) how did u pull such a fine man It's literally 9pm rn" "What time did he come here tho?? Ik i came home at 6 and i saw him mopping the floor" "like 4pm" "FIVE HOURS ?? (NAME) TELL UR BESTIE HES WELCOME HERE ANYTIME WE WILL OPEN THE DOOR FOR HIM"
At least they seem to be less of pricks to you than before, all thanks to Yves. But it's such a shame that it took a good-looking servicing stranger to get them to act nice towards you.
"(Name), you have to eat something." You looked up from your cracked screen to see Yves holding a bowl of steamy congee. He pulled the chair from your desk and sat next to your bed.
"Sit up straight." He caressed the small of your back. You complied with his command while he stacked your pillows to make a backrest.
It has a mild, pleasantly savoury aroma.
He fed you by the spoonful agonizingly slow, you're horrified that you're now used to this gesture. It isn't something you feel flustered about, it just feels... right. It feels normal and it's as if he's done this for your entire life.
You're getting more comfortable with him and that scares the fuck out of you.
You're surprised that it's not making you want to hurl, the meal is actually bettering your stomach and you wanted to eat more even after finishing the entire bowl. It's definitely bland in your dictionary, since it's only seasoned with salt, pepper and freshly made chicken stock. But it was heavenly. And its the only thing you can stomach now.
You asked for more. You were shocked when your request is denied.
"You're full. You are going to vomit if I give you more. That's enough for now, I'll give you another bowl an hour later." He dabbed the corners of your mouth with a facial tissue.
You froze.
He is right. You are full. You wanted more because it tasted great, but you would have thrown it all up again.
It's eerie how he knows you better than you know yourself. And this is only the third time you have spoken to him. This doesn't seem right, does it?
Yves left your room once more to keep the dishes away. Predictably, the group chat blew up with astonished reactions that Yves appeared right before their eyes again.
You massaged your forehead, wondering if you should have been a bit more firm in saying no to Yves. But he just makes you so weak against him.
You checked the time and the digits turned from 9:59pm to 10:00pm.
It's getting very late.
36 notes · View notes
doortotomorrow · 4 years
Text
Welp...got the episode all downloaded, so now it’s time to work on some Memori gifs. I was hoping for a little bit more with them in this episode, but alas, we’re back to crumbs. I’m just glad they managed to get through another episode.
17 notes · View notes
wasabito · 3 years
Text
Tumblr media
➽ corruption collab masterlist — hosted by @ultimate-astridwriting and @bummie ♥️
Tumblr media
➽ note: definitely gonna come back and edit this a bit more because threesomes are hard as fuck, no pun intended lmao happy v-day everyone!
➽ word count: 3.2k
➽ cw/tags: polyamory + body worship + threesome + praise kink + public sex + choking + handjobs/fingering + vaginal sex + squirting + established relationship
➽ pairing: akaashi x fem!reader x bokuto
Tumblr media
💿 1. nasty — ariana grande || 2. come on — jhene aiko
Tumblr media
With Valentine's Day fast approaching, it becomes rather apparent that love and romance are in the air. Storefronts are decorated in bubblegum pinks and reds. Flower shops promote their special bouquet arrangements at discounted prices. Even your favorite hole in the wall coffee shop has fallen prey to the spirit of cupid as they announce their new strawberry shortcake dessert and heart-shaped scones.
In lieu of staying home for the third night this week, your boyfriends escort you to dinner at an upscale restaurant in the city. They treat you to a five-course meal and a bottle of wine even pricier than the dinner itself. One would think, after three years of dating, you would no longer be caught unawares by their spontaneity. And yet, here they are, once again pulling the rug from underneath your four-inch heels.
Your gaze flickers from Akaashi's tranquil smile to Bokuto's wide grin.
Adjusting the napkin in your lap, you open your mouth to speak, then pause as the right words fail it come. Brain short-circuiting instead, you let out a confused, "Huh?!"
"We're taking you to Italy!" Bokuto repeats, about ready to hop out of his seat with excitement. He looks to Akaashi, "Three nights in Venice, right 'Kaashi?"
"Yes, we decided on Venice after you told us you'd always wanted to visit. Remember Koutarou's birthday last year?"
"But that was like months ago! Did you two honestly hold onto that drunk little confession this entire time?"
"Of course."
"Yup!!"
It's in moments like these when you are reminded of their history together, first as teammates playing volleyball, and eventually close friends. Not much longer after that, you'd met and fallen for Akaashi, then Bokuto, and thus began the relationship of today. While you find it a little ridiculous, it seems neither of them has any qualms about this trip.
After all, you are their lovely girlfriend. Why wouldn't they want to make your wishes come true?
Bokuto claps his hands, eyes sparkling. "Everything's already planned out, babe, so don't worry your pretty little head, okay?"
You can't argue with that. Reaching over, you take Bokuto's hand in your right and Akaashi's in your left. "Alright, since you two went to all this trouble for me, I guess I'll just sit back and enjoy it."
♥️
Venice is just as beautiful as you imagined.
It looks as if it's floating upon blue-green waters with lots of sunshine, beautiful architecture, and a vibrancy that makes it feel like the city has a life of its own. You are grateful you didn't come by yourself. There is no way you would've enjoyed it without Akaashi and Bokuto at your side.
"We're about a ten-minute walk from Piazza San Marco," Akaashi says as he taps his glasses. His sharp gaze is locked on the map in his hands, likely committing most landmarks and details to memory. "Would you like to check it out?"
"Yeah! Let's do it."
"Off we go, go, go!"
Thus, a majority of your first day in Venice is spent sightseeing.
The three of you take a gondola ride through Canale Grande, then have a peek into the Gallerie Dell'Accademia at Akaashi's insistence, though naturally, you wouldn't have come all the way to Italy and not visited at least one art museum. Afterward, the three of you go to the Le Mercerie shopping district and buy gifts for your friends before finally taking a pit stop for the most delicious gelato in the city.
The sunsets sooner than expected, casting the entire block in deep red hues. Bokuto's mood is greatly influenced by it, and the jetlag certainly doesn't help. He props himself against you, nuzzling you in a way that says he's itching for a kiss.
"Tired, Kou?"
Bokuto hums. "A little... More hungry than anything."
He leans in and pecks your lips with a sated smile. "Maybe I should eat you. I mean, how is it my girl's so damn cute? Not fair, I can't resist."
You snort at Bo's silliness but can't help shivering a little at the tiny implication of his words. He always did like to lay his head on your thighs, leaving a trail of kisses and love bites where he could.
So, the thought of him eating you out made you squeeze your thighs together.
Akaashi approaches with your frozen treats held between his long fingers; having overheard Bokuto earlier, he tucks his wallet back into his pocket.
"We'll get some dinner after we drop off these shopping bags. How does that sound?"
You eagerly take your gelato from him with a smile.
"Sounds like a plan."
Akaashi nods, standing at your other side, close enough to brush elbows though not as close as Bokuto, who was nearly hovering.
The three of you are in one of the narrow, maze-like streetways, basking in the warm, early evening glow. The sweet taste of fruit and cream on your tongue fills you with so much contentment, especially while being with your favorite people. You aren't sure if anything could top the way you currently felt, and the trip has just barely started.
Upon arriving at your temporary place of residence, a quaint little villa on the waterfront just along the shore of Punta Sabbioni Beach, Bokuto immediately kicks off his sandals, dumps the bags, and promptly falls asleep on the couch.
"It's so weird seeing Kou like this." You remark. "On any normal day, he's brimming with almost too much energy, but now he's all tired."
"Well, he did stay up an entire twelve hours on the plane. It was only a matter of time before fatigue caught up to him." Akaashi picks up Bokuto's shoes with practiced ease and places them by the others.
There is a fond smile running along the edges of his mouth as he tucks a throw around the man's larger frame. You help him adjust a spare pillow under Bo's head and then set off to explore the rest of the area.
It seemed like everything about Venice was taken straight out of a romance film, with its cobblestone paths, gothic cathedral architecture, crisp ocean waters, and authentic Italian cuisine. It is no wonder the city's known to draw hapless souls together in romance. Even you fell subject to it, and by each passing moment, you crave to be with your boyfriends.
You are standing at the balcony overlooking the beach, satisfied with your inspection of the villa when Akaashi comes to stand behind you. He holds onto the railings, caging you in his arms, and rests his chin on your shoulder.
"He was right, you know." He murmurs. "You do look good enough to eat."
Blunt as ever. Apparently, something's never change.
Though one might say that Akaashi is as he's always been after high school and college, there is no denying his boost in confidence. After all, he had landed not one but two rather attractive partners.
He kisses your cheek, then your jaw, before latching onto your neck.
The sun's scenic view on the horizon, reflecting upon the beach sands of gold and shimmering orange waves, makes for an excellent backdrop.
You turn to face Akaashi and pull him into a heated kiss. His lips convey a sense of devotion to you, and with each press of them against yours, you can feel just how bad he's yearning for more.
"Kei," you whisper. "Let's go inside."
In a moment, Akaashi whisks you off your feet quite similar to how Bokuto would, though you both don't even make it to the bedroom.
Your other partner had sat up on the sofa, hair flat on one side, scrubbing his eyelids.
"Guys, I'm freaking starving!" Bokuto groans. "Let's get some food or something."
He doesn't even notice how you and Akaashi are breathing heavy or how your clothes are sporting wrinkles that were not previously there. Regardless, Akaashi has food delivered while you went ahead to shower the day's journey away. There are still two days left. You'd get your chance with them at some point.
♥️
Sadly, the entirety of day two is spent indoors. Heavy sheets of rain continue to fall, muddying the shoreline. The three of you huddle on the sofa wrapped in blankets with subtitled movies playing in the background.
Even though you would've much rather been out exploring in the city, just sharing in your boyfriend's warmth would suffice for now. Akaashi hands you a steaming cup of something rich in both color and smell.
"What's this?"
"Just espresso." He takes the empty seat beside you.
You savor the taste while leaning against his shoulder. "Mm, nice."
Bokuto keeps his head on your lap, loving how you thread your fingers into his hair.
It is a tranquil kind of peace that soon lulls you to sleep.
Later, when you finally wake up, it's dark, and you're alone. A blanket had been tucked around your shoulders to shield you from the sudden chill. At some point, the television had been shut off along with every light in the room. You might've been a little scared if not for the voices coming from the second floor. Slowly, you creep up the winding staircase, dragging along the blanket around your shoulders.
"Hey, hey, hey!" Bokuto chuckles. "You're finally up!"
His hair is down, wet from his shower, and he holds a thin towel together around his waist. In his hand is a cellphone, and he doesn't hesitate to shove the screen into your face. "Say hi, Tetsu!"
"Hi Y/N, how's it going?"
You blink slowly, still trying to wake yourself up.
"Kuroo, hey… I'm well. How are you?"
"Great, just about to head out for a late lunch. I hear it's almost ten pm over there."
"Yeah, it's an eight-hour time difference."
You and Kuroo continue to chat while Bokuto towels off his hair and puts on clothes. Afterward, you let Bokuto resume his conversation and join Akaashi on the bed. The man had gone full editor-mode with his glasses propped up in his hair as he read through some work documents.
When you approach, he greets you with a kiss on the cheek. "You look well-rested."
"Is that your way of telling me I have drool on my cheek, Keiji?"
He cracks a tiny smile, eyes taking in your features, then he pokes your cheek with his index finger. "Perhaps."
You scrub the corners of your mouth with your sleeve and drape yourself over Akaashi, work be damned. This was supposed to be a special weekend for relaxing.
"I really wanted to go to the beach today." You pout.
Akaashi interlocks his fingers with yours. "Maybe we still can. It stopped raining a few hours ago."
"Really?!"
You hop off the bed and head for the window. He's right, the rain had long stopped, and the beach lay bare, lit by only the moonlight.
Maybe a short walk to the beach would do you some good.
♥️
The grains of sand feel cold against your feet without the sun to beat down on them, but you don't complain. The air is humid enough on its own that you forgo wearing actual clothes and instead wear a swimsuit along with Bokuto's old Fukurōdani windbreaker.
You walk along the shore, toes digging into the sand, letting the ocean waves lap at your feet to wash them clean again.
At first, it's so eerily quiet without a soul around except you, but even that doesn't last long. You hear Bokuto's voice bellow into the night as he jogs towards you in nothing but swim trunks. Behind him, Akaashi trails slowly after with a blanket in hand.
"We thought you might want some company." He says and spreads the cover on the sand several feet away from the water, content with just watching.
Bokuto grabs your hand and you go running to the water with him, but a second later, you both come sprinting back.
"It's freezing!"
"S-So co-co-cold!"
You collapse on top of him, fingers splayed across his bare chest. However, when you try to sit up, Bokuto has other plans. He keeps you pressed to his chest with both arms around your waist.
"Let me keep you warm, baby!"
You know he meant it in the most innocent way, but you can't help but think other thoughts. Your nerves fray at the image that blooms in your head and spreads like wildfire.
And as Akaashi strokes your back, you know he's probably read your mind.
It's the way your eyes seem to glitter with want that gives it away. Akaashi has always been rather observant, and so your silent cues are something he's always been privy to.
His nimble fingers curve around the nape of your neck, and he tilts his head to capture your lips in a kiss. This one is unlike the one from yesterday. There is no rush, no desire to quicken his haste; instead, he savors the taste of you like it's something to be thoroughly enjoyed.
Underneath you, Bokuto stirs, growing aroused at the sight of his two lovers' kiss. He can't decide whether he wants to join in or sit back and watch. But his large hand comes down to stroke your ass, resulting in a moan you breathe directly into Akaashi's mouth.
"You're not usually so forthcoming, Keiji," you whisper against his lips. "Eager, are we?"
Akaashi pulls away just enough to pepper your face in feathery kisses. "Can you blame me? When I have such a lovely girlfriend here."
As if confirming his words, he slips a hand under your jacket and cups your breast. The pads of his thumb brush along the seams of your bathing suit, caressing your nipple.
"Kou, let's show Y/N just how much we love her, yes?"
Bokuto didn't need to be told twice. He had been in entranced by you and Akaashi, completely taken by the way your lips danced upon one another. But now, he wanted more than anything to touch you, kiss you, hold you.
Bokuto cradles you in his lap, propping your legs open with his knees so Akaashi can kneel in front of you. It didn't take much for him to relieve you of your clothing, namely your swimming bottoms. But the second the air hits your bare cunt, you feel tense.
You aren't sure what it was, but the atmosphere is different. Both Akaashi and Bokuto are so focused on you, it feels like you're under a spotlight.
"You're so pretty, so beautiful," Bokuto says while squeezing your thighs. His warm breath tickles your ear as he presses his nose into your neck. Next, his lips follow suit. "Wanna fuck you, so bad baby. You'd like that, right?"
His words earn him a chuckle from Akaashi, who merely licks two of his fingers, wetting them and sliding into you. Your mouth parts, shaky breaths barely expelled from your lungs. You're hyper-aware of the fact that you're literally being fingered on a beach in the middle of the night, and you can't bring yourself to care. It feels good to be pampered by the two men you love.
For every moan, Akaashi gives you double for your efforts, thrusting his fingers just right, curving them in such a way that has your back arching off Bokuto, who has also taken to fondling your nipples. With every roll of his hips, you feel his cock against your ass, and it pushes you further into Akaashi's fingers.
Your impending orgasm sweeps by so close and yet so far away. All you can do is rock yourself faster.
"Please," you whimper. "W-Wanna come."
Akaashi crooks his fingers, pressing into the perfect spot that sends you hurtling over the edge. Your cunt spasms around his fingers, clenching in intervals you have no control over until his hand is coated with your wet, slick juices that keep coming the more you squirt all over him.
"She's so wet 'Kaashi. Look at our pretty girl."
Akaashi places a chaste kiss on your forehead with a smile.
"She's doing well, so far. Let's see if she can keep going."
Bokuto shimmies his shorts off enough to free his hard cock. He had been uncharacteristically patient until now, but that was soon to change as he lines himself up with your cunt, teasing you with just the tip.
Your whining is unintelligible, but both men understand you more or less.
"Give the pretty girl what she wants," Akaashi says. He strokes his own hard-on at the sight of Bokuto's pushing past your wet folds. "I know she can take more than that."
Bokuto has always been girthy, and it takes you more than a few seconds to adjust to his size, but when you finally do, it feels like heaven.
The position you're in gives Bokuto all the power to thrust into you like a ragdoll. But it's only when you make eye contact with Akaashi that you realize that it's, in fact, the other way around for him in particular. From where he sits, stroking his cock with flushed cheeks and choked moans, you see just how much control you have over him.
"Kiss me." You moan.
Akaashi doesn't let you repeat yourself. He kisses you long and hard even as you grip his throat with one hand and his hair with the other. He kisses you until his lips are red and bruised.
"Good boy. Both of y-you."
Bokuto groans loudly. "Say it again. Keep saying it!"
"Y-You're both so good. I-" your hips stutter against Akaashi's fingers that are rubbing circles into your clit. "Good, so good-"
That's all it takes to take Bokuto over the edge, blowing his load. "Perfect, so fucking perfect."
You can feel another orgasm swelling up inside your belly. You try to tell them but can't, too overcome by the feeling of your body tingling with desire. It's too much, overwhelmingly so; your vision blurs with unshed tears as Bokuto continues to pound into sopping pussy. Pleasure floods every fiber of your being until you're limp and every nerve in your body is set alight.
Bokuto slips out of you easily, a string of his semen following.
You can only look on in a drowsy haze as Bokuto leans over and kisses you and then Akaashi, working him over with a tight fist.
♥️
The following morning, you’re the first to wake, but only because there’s a limb jammed into your back and a heavy weight on your chest. It takes you a moment to realize, but it’s Bokuto’s elbow poking you and Akaashi’s head resting on you.
All three of you are a tangle of limbs in bed, but you aren’t sure how you’d gotten there.
“G’mornin’” Bokuto breathes. His lips caress the column of your neck.
“Morning.”
You shift into a more comfortable position. Though doing so presses Akaashi’s morning wood against your thigh.
“Keiji, you awake yet?”
“Mmm barely.” Akaashi looks up at you through his lashes, then smiles and nuzzles closer into your chest.
Bokuto, content with being your big spoon, reaches over to touch Akaashi, hands cupping his cheek. “It’s Valentine’s Day!”
“That’s true, should we do something special.”
Thinking about the previous night, you feel desire stirring in your gut. “Could we just... do it again?”
Both men look to each other then back at you, sporting matching smiles.
“Why not?”
Tumblr media
786 notes · View notes
lepusrufus · 3 years
Text
Double edged scalpel ch.6
Tumblr media
ch.1 ch.2 ch.3 ch.4 ch.5
Summary: It's backstory time!
Mandatory warning since this is not a usual thing on my blog so I think a separate warning would be useful, there will be talk of past abuse and alcohol abuse.
----
"Wakey wakey," came the gruff voice from just outside her bedroom door.
It was slightly muffled but more than enough to make her jolt awake, muscle memory taking over the remnants of sleep. She only had one minute to be out the door. It was more than enough though, her routine perfected over years. Get out of bed. Put socks on. Get shoes. Grab the duffel bag. She slept dressed anyways, ready to go at any time.
Or not?
Where were her clothes?
Nevermind that she had time to put something on. Just grab a shirt and pants from the dresser.
Hurried steps took her over the plush carpet. Wasn't it supposed to be a solid grey? Had her mother swapped it for one of their fancier rugs?
That didn't matter right now. Clothes. She needed clothes. When she got to her dresser she stood there, frowning at the bookshelf that now took its place. She didn't even remember acquiring the tomes in front of her, most of them old and with unfamiliar trinkets surrounding them. That's not how her bedroom was arranged. Why wasn't anything in its place? Was Alex playing a prank on her? No, he wouldn't do that.
Time was almost up and she needed some goddamn clothes and to get out and her head was starting to spin-
"Nicole?"
Her eyes snapped back to the bed she had so hastily vacated, Cassandra looking at her concerned.
From the room's entrance came another familiar voice. Bela. "I only wanted to let you know that Daniela wants to go for a hunt tomorrow." Her eyes were averted and as soon as the words left her lips, she turned and shut the door behind her, not waiting for an answer from her sister.
Confusion mixed in with dizziness, but Nicole let out a quiet oh when she fully realized where she was. Cassandra's bedroom. They came here last night and fell asleep. And she was only wearing underwear.
She went to sit on the edge of the bed, head resting in her hands to try alleviate the fog in her brain. She probably looked like hell, but that was the least of her concerns right now.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Came the uncharacteristically soft voice of Cassandra, who had moved from her spot under the blankets and was gently rubbing her back.
"Uh, nothing," Nicole replied, as if she didn't look ready to puke.
Cassandra only pursed her lips and frowned. "You looked like you simultaneously saw a ghost and were ready to fight a ghost."
She swallowed thickly and forced out a laugh. "Oh are we at "tragic backstory" relationship level now?" It was at best a pathetic attempt to change the subject and at worst annoying.
When she looked back at the brunette she was still frowning, but not in annoyance. Her golden eyes sparked with concern, scrutinizing the redhead's face and body language for any clue as to what was wrong. It sent a pang of guilt through Nicole's chest. She took a deep breath and leaned back into Cassandra's touch, trying to collect her thoughts. Where does one even begin to explain this whole mess?
"Have you ever wondered why I came here? To the village?"
"...Not really," she admitted.
Nicole took another deep breath, pulling the words from her mouth as if she were pulling out teeth with pliers.
"My dad, he…he had a bit of a weird business. We never knew the details of it, he never told any of us and we knew better than to snoop, but I do know it had something to do with drugs and was highly illegal."
Staying in one place proved itself a pesky little task, so Nicole stood up and started to collect her clothes from the floor and started dressing. Cassandra instead remained in the same spot, listening intently.
"With a job like that you make enemies by default. And that made him paranoid beyond belief. When me and Alex, my older brother, were children it wasn't that bad. Worst thing he would do was lock our bedroom doors and refuse to let us attend public school."
She narrowed her eyes at a wall, still not wanting to meet Cassandra's gaze. Now that she said it out loud, not that bad sounded pretty bad too. Whatever.
"It started going downhill when I was around…" She pursed her lips, trying to make her brain put together some semblance of a timeline. "Twelve. Yeah twelve. He came bursting into our bedrooms at 2 a.m. saying that someone with a gun had gotten into our house and wanted to kill us. We were mortified. I remember my mom holding me and Alex in the backseat crying while my dad drove us to his secluded cabin in the woods."
"And that became a habit of his. He'd have us do these drills every once in a while and then scream at us if we didn't do everything in under a minute."
"That's so fucking stupid," Cassandra spat, golden eyes gleaming with anger.
Nicole started pacing back and forth, desperate for a distraction. "Oh I know. And after a few years of this I made sure to tell him exactly how much I thought it was bullshit."
Finally coming to terms with the lack of something to do while she talked, Nicole gave up and went back to the bed. She sat down by Cassandra's side, though still avoiding her eyes.
"Do you know what getting punched in the face feels like?"
Cassandra's expression contorted into a disgusted grimace. With the hand not on Nicole's back rubbing comforting circles, she dug talons into the soft fabric of a blanket. She didn't really have an answer because frankly she didn't know. Her body reacted very differently to physical harm and the few that could hurt her wouldn't go for a stupid punch to the face. Nicole kept on talking though, not really looking for an answer.
"That shut me up for a bit. Key word a bit. When he woke me up on the night before an important test I was pissed. I just thought fuck it and went upstairs to the library. It took him around twenty minutes to find me and when he did… Well, I regretted some life choices."
"I was so done with being there in that house. Though thankfully my parents went on a business trip the next day and Alex was at a friend's for the weekend. I had the whole house to myself and decided to grab one of my mom's vintage wines and just spend the evening on the couch drinking. And that's how I became an alcoholic at the ripe old age of fifteen." She let out a humorless chuckle at the end.
That day was a blur in her mind. The only thing that she vividly remembered was Alex coming home early and finding her blackout drunk on the couch. At the end of the day though, they were both in the same boat. He just grabbed the bottle from her and started to sip away at the remaining wine. Laughing at each other's hangover the next day was the most fun they'd had in ages so it became a habit for the both of them. Every once in a while they'd go into the wine cellar, pick out a bottle and then go drink it in the attic while they pretended their problems didn't exist. It continued well into their college years. Nicole was barely able to recall doing anything during her years in med school that wasn't being drunk or studying.
She groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose. That's not where she meant to go with the story. Cassandra placing a gentle kiss on her shoulder brought her enough comfort to try and wrap it up.
"I guess in a sick ironic way my dad was right in the end though," she subconsciously shifted closer to the brunette and she wasted no time in loosely wrapping her arms around Nicole's waist.
"I was three weeks away from completing my residency when I came home from the lab, only to find my mom in a puddle of blood on the living room floor. My brother was in a similar state in his bedroom. My dad was nowhere to be found but I didn't care. It was his fault," she swallowed the lump in her throat and felt tears threatening to spill from her eyes.
"I just grabbed my documents and a duffle bag with some clothes and ran. Booked the first flight to Romania to come stay at my grandparents'. Oh except they know what my dad is all about! Told me I had an hour to get some rest and be out of their house as they didn't want any trouble with my dad's people."
"I did grab a fuck ton of my dad's cash though so at least hotels weren't an issue," her words were coming out chocked, occasionally interrupted by sniffles. She rapidly whipped a hand across her face. "Have you ever been to Braşov? Old part of the city is quite lovely."
Cassandra grimaced. She didn't want to interrupt, but seeing Nicole in such a state made something in her unbeating heart ache. She gently wiped the trail of tears from her cheeks and placed a kiss on her temple from where she was sitting half behind Nicole. Then, with the softest voice she could muster, "And how did you meet Duke?"
Nicole's eyes widened slightly, apparently having forgotten that detail.
"Oh I stumbled upon his shop one day. I thought he was selling some neat stuff and he was nice so I kept coming back. One thing led to another and when I found out about a place off the map where no one gets in or out without help I thought it would be the perfect place to hide from the people trying to put a bullet through my head." Then she winced slightly. "I was also mildly tipsy when I made that decision."
Cassandra looked a little incredulous. "And he just brought you here?"
"I paid him."
Cassandra's expression turned to what could only be described as disappointed but not surprised. Then her attention went back on the redhead, glossy eyes fixated on the floor. To say she sucked at comforting others was an understatement. Daniela was far more well versed in the art of making others not feel miserable but she was nothing if not stubborn enough to try.
"Listen," she shifted to sit in front of her, hand placed gently on a wet cheek. "If anyone ever dares come near you with the intention of harming you, I'll make them regret every life choice that led them there. You're safe here." She may not be great with her words, but if Cassandra excelled in anything, it was keeping her loved ones safe. Loved one huh.
Nicole leaned into her touch, finally meeting Cassandra's eyes. There was a gentle kind of determination in her golden gaze, accompanied by a fiery rage that, for once in her life, brought comfort as opposed to terror. It came with the knowledge that it wasn't directed at her but at whoever may want to harm her.
She didn't doubt her words. Instead she shifted closer, face nuzzled in the crook of Cassandra's neck and, barely above a whisper, said: "Thank you."
145 notes · View notes
dreamescapeswriting · 3 years
Text
The Coordinates Of My Heart ~ JJK [Request]
Tumblr media Tumblr media
WORD COUNT: 2.4K
GENRE: Angst, fluffy ending, established relationship
PAIRING: Jungkook x fem!reader
Tumblr media
It was no secret that Jungkook had tattoos all over his body, everyone had seen them by now but not every single tattoo that covered him. There was one very secret tattoo that nobody except for you and Jungkook knew about...Well, you, Jungkook and his ex-girlfriend that was. It was only a small tattoo on his left peck but it was one of the biggest mistakes Jungkook had ever made in his life, the whole time he was getting his collection of tattoos he swore he would never have someone's name tattooed onto his body and yet there it sat. Black ink across his peck with her name in cursive writing with a small heart attached at the end, "SeoJun" The tattoo bothered you a lot but you would never let that show in front of Jungkook. You'd been dating for almost three years now so you never brought it up except for the first time he showed you. He wanted you to know that she meant nothing to him anymore but that it was there and something he had to deal with. 
It was still a crushing feeling to see another girls name tattooed on his body and him always saying that he would never do it again, never tattoo a name across him anywhere on his body. You knew he was thinking rationally but there was a part of you inside that cried out to know why he wouldn't put your name on himself instead but the other part of you thought rationally. He probably didn't want to chance it by getting your name tattooed anywhere on himself and having the relationship fall through. 
"Baby I'm so tired," Jungkook groaned that morning as he walked down the stairs to you in the living room he was shirtless and wearing a pair of shorts, you were trying to convince him to go swimming with you. It was his week off from the studio, he took it off to spend time with you but for the last six days he'd done nothing but lay in bed gaming or go out to dinner with his friends, or hang out with the boys. 
"I'm only asking for this one thing baby...Please! I don't want to go alone." You giggled to him as you tugged on his hands trying to convince him to go with you, he looked at you tiredly as he shook his head.
"I'm busy today," He mumbled as he took his arm out of your grasp, ignoring the look of confusion written across your face as he walked into the kitchen. Jungkook hadn't told you he'd made plans with anyone which was why you'd woken him up in the first place if you'd have known he was busy you would have left him. Following after him, you went into the kitchen and he began to make himself something to eat,
"Busy with what? We haven't hung out all week, you said you took the week off to spend time with me." You uttered you knew it probably sounded as though you were being childish but right now you didn't care, you'd missed your boyfriend and this week it felt like you saw him less than you did when he was actually working. 
"I actually said I took the week off to relax, so far I haven't done any of that." He grumbled as he began pouring himself a bowl of cereal, not meeting your eyes as he spoke. Rolling your eyes at him you shook your head, 
"You've relaxed plenty, all you've done is game and sleep...As well as go to lunch, or spent time with friends...W-What if we went for walk instead? Namjoon said he found this really cute hiking trail..." You trailed off when you realised Jungkook was more interested in the phone that was sitting in his hand than he was in listening to you talk to him. The thought of him ignoring you was heartbreaking enough, you began to overthink everything, maybe he was getting bored of being with you...
"But of course, I wouldn't want to take you away from what is really important." You grumbled to him referring to the phone before storming out of the kitchen and into the living room to grab your swimming bag to go alone since he wasn't that bothered about you anymore.
"Are you upset because I won't hang out with you?! We don't have to be around each other 24/7 Y/n." He followed you into the living room staring into your eyes as he waited for you to say something back to him. He didn't mean for it to come out as harsh as the way it was.
"No, but it would be nice if my own boyfriend wanted to do something with me. Watch a movie, go for a walk, order food. All you've been bothered about is gaming or hanging with the guys, we haven't done anything this week." He rolled his eyes at you before going back into the kitchen without another word in your direction. You knew it wasn't supposed to start a fight but there was a part inside of you that wanted answers from him. 
"Tell me I'm wrong then. Tell me one time this week you've even wanted or offered to hang out with me." You stated as you walked back into the kitchen, he put his bowl down into the sink shaking his head at you. 
"I've been busy. I'm doing stuff all week, I don't need you jumping down my neck-" He stopped talking when his phone began to ring on the table in front of him for a second you could have sworn a panicked look spread across his face. Out of habit your eyes glanced down to see who it was but as soon as you saw the name you wish you hadn't. SEOJUN. Was written across the screen in big bold writing with a broken heart beside her name just like the tattoo Jungkook had only the heart was broken. 
"W-Why is she calling you?" Instead of answering you Jungkook just turned the phone over so you couldn't see it and shook his head at the question. 
"Jungkook..." You whispered feeling insecure at the thought of him starting to see her again, it wasn't that you didn't trust him. It was Seojun that you didn't trust. She was manipulative and cunning. She always got whatever it was she wanted if she used the right way on Jungkook it was like she had a spell on him.
"Y/n it's not what it looks like, she's just started to say sorry to me that's all. She wants to make up for all the awful things that happened, she opened up her new shop so I've been going to help-" The look on your face made Jungkook stop talking instantly and he knew he fucked up, it was a look of sadness and anger as you realised he'd been spending all of his time with her. 
"S-So you've been spending time with her? On your week off..." He nodded his head slowly not wanting to lie to you about where he had been anymore, 
"Because I knew if I told you, you would be upset-" He tried to rationalise it but you cut him off,
"Of course I would! You've been spending all of your free time with your ex-girlfriend and lying to me about it!" You yelled out as you stared down at his phone, it was starting to ring again but you both ignored it this time letting it go to voicemail.
"I was just helping out with her shop, she's straightened herself out." You scoffed at the thought of it all and the phone began to ring again, it was clear she wasn't going to quit calling him until he finally answered her call. 
"So she's trying to get back with you?" You questioned as you stared at him folding your arms over your chest,
"No! She's trying to say sorry..." You rolled your eyes at the statement, at how naive he was being about all of it and began walking away from him not wanting to listen to this.
"Am I not allowed, friends?!" He snapped at you making you turn to face him you were angrier now at the fact that he was making it seem like you were forcing him not to talk to her, 
"You can be friends with whoever you want...B-But didn't you think about how this would make me feel? Seeing her again? When she's literally tattooed across your chest?!" He heard the crack in your voice as you stormed out of the door, leaving him alone in the world of his own thoughts. He knew how much the tattoo hurt you even if you refused to show him that sometimes, he groaned picking up his phone to her. 
"I'll be running late today, come by about 2 pm? The place will be empty and it'll be just me and you, like old times." He sighed as he heard her voice down the other side of the phone, 
"We should stop, she's suspicious..." He whispered to Seojun as he walked out of the kitchen and towards the front door, you were sitting in the car so he walked up the stairs to talk. 
You whimpered as you got into your car, starting up the engine and driving off towards the pool. You didn't even need to go, you just had to be out of the house for a while to let your brain cool down from what was happening, you were probably just overreacting to it all. 
Tumblr media
When you came in after swimming the house was empty, all of the lights were off so you knew Jungkook must have been out or up in bed asleep but it was only 7 pm so that was unlikely true. You dropped your keys down in the small bowl by the front door and kicked off your shoes wanting nothing more than to snuggle up beside Jungkook and say sorry for that morning but he wasn't there so you went for the next best thing. Having a shower and curling up in one of his shirts while you waited for him to come home, you'd left him some texts but if he was still upset about this morning you doubted he would answer you. 
As you walked into the kitchen you saw a note on the door, 
Went out to think. Don't wait up. Love you. x x x JJK x x x You smiled halfheartedly as you read the note from him to you and screwed it up before putting it into the bin. All you had to do was remind yourself that Jungkook loved you, he would never do anything to hurt you.
Tumblr media
Later that night Jungkook pulled up outside the house and saw your car, 
"I'll call you later, Y/n's home so I'm going to talk to her if she's awake," Jungkook said to Seojun who hummed before hanging upon him. He shut the door carefully and headed up to the front door, it was almost 12 pm so you were most likely asleep in bed but when he walked into the living room you were out cold on the sofa. Draped in one of his jumpers and a pair of shorts with a blanket around you, the TV was playing to itself all of their Bangtan bombs and he smiled to himself. At least you weren't too angry at him to fall asleep to his voice, he turned off the TV and headed into the kitchen. 
A small hissing noise made you wake up when you heard small grunts of pain, 
"Guk?" You moaned out as you rubbed your eyes, the kitchen light was on and the moaning was coming from there. Terror ripped through you at the thought of him and someone else being in there together but Jungkook would never do that...Would he? Slowly sliding off the sofa you tip-toed into the kitchen to see Jungkook with his back to you, he was hissing as he pulled something off his chest, 
"Kookie? What's going on?" Jungkook jumped as your voice suddenly filled the air, he turned to face you and you saw what he was struggling to do. There was fresh clingfilm wrapped around his chest along with some pads, 
"Jungkook?" You frowned walking further into the kitchen as you helped him take off the cling film, 
"I did something." He mumbled as he took your hands into his own to stop you from removing the rest of it all, 
"We have to talk..." You stared into his eyes waiting for him to continue and he looked down, 
"I know how much the tattooed bothered you without you saying anything...That's the reason I've been seeing Seojun so much, she runs her own tattoo parlour instead of working for other people now..." You remembered him telling you once that she worked as a tattooist in someone else's shop, 
"S-So you went to her to get a tattoo done? Why didn't you tell me?" He let go of your wrists and allowed you to keep unwrapping the clingfilm until it got to the end and the flower could be seen, 
"Because we were working on something I couldn't tell you about," Sitting on his left peck, covering the entire muscle was a huge tattoo of your birth flower. Tears began to well up in your eyes as you stared at the masterpiece, 
"The best part." He whispered as he took your hand carefully and lead it over to the middle of his chest, written in small black in were some coordinates. 
"Do you know what that is?" You stared at them with a frown on your face shaking your head at him trying to work it out, 
"It's the coordinates of where I first told you that I loved you," You stared at the coordinates before wrapping your arms around the back of his neck and dragging him into a passionate kiss. Tugging him closer to you until he hissed out in pain, 
"S-Sorry, the tattoo is sore." He chuckled as you looked at it again, 
"Where's your cream? I'll apply it and then we can go to bed?" You questioned as he nodded at you, telling you where the cream he used for all his tattoo's was kept and went to sit on the sofa for you. Smiling happily as he waited for you to come back to him.
Tumblr media
Tagline: @lyoongx​ @mitzwinchester​ @fan-ati--c​ @rjsmochii​ @kneel-begyourpardon​ @taestannie​ @bisexualmess007​ @innersooya​ @sw33tnight​ @jin-from-the-block​ @sweeneyblue1​
Tumblr media
322 notes · View notes
herstarburststories · 3 years
Text
you and me and the devil makes three.
Pairings: Dean Winchester x reader, Demon!Dean Winchester x reader, past Lisa x Dean
Summary: Dean is a demon, he will take whatever he wants.
A/N: This got darker than I expected. I wanna make it clear I don't condone or engage with Dean's acts on this. This is my submission for @jawritter 's Make Me Cry Challenge. Congrats, honey! Hope you like it. Dividers by talesmanic and gif credit here
Prompt: I guess I should have been more like her.
Warnings: non consensual kissing, language, UNHEALTHY BEHAVIOR, non con (kissing and touching but no sex), dirty talk
Tumblr media
Dean Winchester was a dreamer.
In the rawest way of the word, the meaning in the dust-collecting dictionaries and not the idealistic form. His eyelids shut close and, just like magic, Dean’s head was as haunted as the home he swore he’d never come back to in Kansas. The ghosts of the past, not ever so very friendly, coming to greet him at least three times per week. Sometimes they were happy films he could never starre in real life, his mom singing or a picnic with a lover saying that they needed to hurry up to get their kid at the baseball. The nightmares were sleepy visions of flesh and blood, mostly about his time underneath, Sam hurting, or his father spilling out his worst fears at his face. 
Maybe it was how the eldest Winchester’s brain compensated for the lack of bedtime tales and docile affairs growing up. The own way that his brittle soul discovered and molded not to let him collapse, or to always keep him on red alert. 
Good and bad deals are mostly a matter of which side you are betting your money on, really.
Because yeah, Dean did wake up feeling like he had shut his forest eyes briefly for twenty minutes instead of hours when he dreamed, but he also had never spent so long trapped in a better place. The green eyed hunter didn’t know which one was worse: the good dreams or the horrific ones. After all, he had went through all the atrocity and made it out alive, but the engulfed craving for light-hearted scenarios was suffocating. The hunter could never have it all. Trust him, he tried. Then, which is more agonizing: to have everything you ever wanted for a couple hours and have every scrap of it taken from you, or to undergo the calamity that accompanied your breaking point? 
Dean didn’t know, he didn’t even know what to tell Sam when he wondered what his brother had dreamt about to wake up sweating and screaming, all the light and stupid apple pie desires and the sharp brutality crawling out of the back of his mind. He made a joke, Megan Fox really liked knives, man. He kept it in, shoved down a good amount of alcohol, and mocked the worry of doing the lawn. Ready for another day. 
But now he was a demon, and apparently whatever he was made of - sulfur, cruelty, and black eyes under garden ones - wasn't worthy quiet reliefs in the middle of the night, or even frightening figments of memory. He became his worst dreams and all the dreams slipped beyond his reaches because of that. Demons, those unholy creatures, didn’t get the human peculiarities. You know what? Fine by him.
Who needed dreams when you don't need sleep, anyway? Even better: who needed dreams when you don't care about what you gotta do to put your greedy hands on the prize you had been eyeing for years? 
Dean Winchester was finally free. Free for the first time since he was a four years little boy who watched his mother burning with a terrorized expression, ironically mimicking the one Mary wore on the ceiling. His dad’s shouting for him to grab Sammy and run, take your little brother and run, echoing through years and years. There was never time for Dean, for his grief or his questions or whatever the child frozen in time under his rib cage could come up with. They said, stupid psychologists with their fancy degrees and malicious bartenders with a unfriendly grun under the counter who learned a little too much, everybody said that when someone was so traumatized as a kid, that person would tend to get frozen at that age. Therefore, how tremendously alleviating was to kill any reminiscing emotion of the whiny child he used to be. 
The kind of freedom that no traveler longed for; when one’s ruined and damaged enough not to care, and just take and take and take like hunger itself. Dean was an evil thing now, what else could he do but act on the figments of the worst intentions?
And feel so fucking good when doing that. 
Tumblr media
‘’Where do you think he's going?’’ Your eyes raked over the street, darting between the asphalt under Baby’s wheels and Sam’s weary features.
‘’I don't know.’’ He sighed, attempting to organize his thoughts. Even as a demon, his brother wouldn’t just run miles and miles away by himself for no apparent reason. There had to be something you and Sam were missing out, some unseen clue or a hidden meaning. ‘’What the localizator says?’’
At least you had managed to put a tracker in his boots during your last encounter. Whatever Dean was thinking of starting there, you and Sam wouldn’t let him.
‘’Still Cicero, Indiana.’’ You sighed. Sammy furrowed his eyebrows, a long forgotten memory rising. ‘’What?’’
‘’We had a case there once years ago.’’ He explained, opting not to elaborate. Your and Dean’s relationship was troubled enough with his new self. Sam didn’t want to blow it up completely. His brother would need you once he came back to himself. The look on your face, though, reported how you weren’t buying his cheap excuses. The long haired hunter sighed. ‘’Did Dean ever tell you about that?’’
‘’No.’’
He stepped on the accelerator.
Tumblr media
To find the woman was excruciatingly easy. The freckled demon couldn't believe he opened his computer many times and gave up before today. He glanced through the glass window and there she was, standing in all her glory with a body that seemed to forget how to grow old. Her tan skin still glowing, as appetizing as ever. Brown eyes shining so bright, tiny hands that always seemed to know where he wanted to be touched. She was laughing like there was no tomorrow, holding a glass of wine with one hand and her cellphone with the other, while her dark hair was falling so perfectly over her shoulder, like waves against the rocks in the sea.
Dean can’t wait to smell her again, to taste her, to prove her. His fingers were tingling, begging to touch what was his as he hopped off the car, walking towards the porch. He had been gone for a long time, but now he was back. 
He will destroy that quintessential, sequin woman so good.
The Winchester buckled in front of the white door, graced with the sound of the female giggle. Thin walls, he thought, those will be useful to make sure the neighbors know who’s back home. Her steps on the wood floor growing closer and closer as he heard a goodbye, probably aimed at whoever she was on the phone with. It was almost like the caramel skinned woman knew that whoever was on her doorstep wasn’t gonna be a hustled visitor. Or so the demon’s arranged mind said.
‘’Hey, Lis.’’ Dean’s voice lacked any cherishment as she opened the door, who would know that the absence of a soul wouldn't be gelid, just dry? As for her, Lisa’s face was drained of love. For all she was aware of, he was a stranger who knew her name. The male let out a chuckle empty of joy. She really didn’t remember, huh? ‘’Whoa. Cass really fucked up your head, huh? At least he did one thing right.’’
‘’Excuse me?’’ The man with dirty blonde hair and perfect teeth smelled like alcohol. She wasn’t having any of this tonight. ‘’Listen, I don’t know who you are and--’’
‘’Don’t worry.’’ He tranquilized her, although the lopsided grin on his lips held anything but good intentions. ‘’I’ll make you remember. I have a spell. You won’t believe how much you missed me.’’
The mocking laugh that left her lips utterly aggravated him. ‘’I don’t know you. Please leave or I’ll call the police.’’
Dean didn’t need a crowd for that part, a bratty woman in need of a firm hand should get a particular lesson. 
‘’You always liked a little cat and mouse.’’
Speaking of, the demon pushed the door wide open without any effort. Lisa jumped at the sudden move, every instinct inside her deciding that man was a threat and not some harmless wasted guy. Her body was quickly erect, thinking about ways to run and get help, but Dean swiftly pushed her to him and kicked the door closed-- her small figure collided to his chest.
Human savagery was cut in urban ways, molded to civilize the animalistic instincts. Imagine meat. A dead animal on a silver plate, and we couldn’t wait to chew every inch of it. We couldn’t wait to eat it, put that dead thing inside us and hope it’ll be enough to control the predatory hungry. Humans will always be animals, but so will be their rests that constructed the demons. 
Dean may not be a hunter anymore, but he’s still a predator who can't wait to taste his prey. He could small it, the fear in Lisa’s sweat making his mouth water. How much she tried to fight against him and scream other names when his was the only one he wanted her to need tonight. The resistance of a poor human barely made the monster shiver.
He closed his hands around her arms, throwing her against the wall like someone tossed an old toy away. There was no space for delicaly. In that moment, Dean Winchester was a tiger, a lion, the big bad wolf attacking the omega. Lis winced, her back hurting as her fibers. She couldn’t believe this was happening, that man was about to do something so terrible and disgusting to her in her own house, the place she was supposed to feel warm and safe. Why did he seem to know her? Why did he say she was gonna remember? Was he crazy, hallucinating, or drugged? Why was he so satisfied with how frightened her tiny body looked? How could she use all that information to somehow push him away?
‘’Let me go!’’ She demanded, her legs kicking the demon with ferocity. ‘’What’s wrong with you? LET ME GO NOW!’’
The brunette’s skilled body moved itself desperately, and the act of resistance only brought a hysterical laugh out of Dean. The wrong kind of goosebumps washed her skin, she had to run away for her life. This man was mad.
‘’FIRE! FIRE!’’ Lisa started to scream. Well-aware that people were most likely to come around and help a woman screaming if she said fire. ‘’THERE’S A FIRE. SOMEONE HELP ME!’’
One of his hands went to her neck, wrapping his fingers around it to shut her up. That was rubbing him off the wrong way. Lisa Braeden used to beg for his touch, how dared her not to want him anymore? Now that he was better, stronger, and thicker.
The brown eyed girl went quiet, probably scared by his brutal behavior. Dean smiled, a blood stained grin that carried mischief and pervertment. He licked the tears savoring the salty horror coming from her. Just like the day he was a vampire who almost gave in to drinking every drop of her luptuos blood. She may not remember but he did and he couldn't wait to get inside her, those tight walls squeezing his hard cock.
‘’You’re gonna do as I say, Lis. And I won't hurt you… Much.’’ He risped, crooked nose stroking her wet cheek. She whined. ‘’Don’t worry, honey. You loved it. Bet you’ll scream so much once I fuck you good.’’
‘’Please, don’t do it.’’ She begged as he coaxed his body against his. That man was stronger than her, she had no other choice but to plead to his human side. If only she knew.
‘’Begging already?’’ Dean lifted his head, smirking at her. Lisa just wanted to cry and close her eyes until everything was done. How could someone do that? ‘’I told you, don’t worry. I’m gonna make a lil’ spell that will give your memories back and you’ll remember everything. And then we’re gonna have so much fun, Lis.’’
His last murmur was finished with a kiss. A harsh, ruthless kiss. Actually, she wasn’t even sure if she could call it a kiss; teeth against each other, his vicious mouth pressed to her weakened lips, his tongue invading her like a robber and showing an unrequited dominance.
‘’Dean!’’ Your voice resonated stridently, louder than the door Sam had stormed open. You couldn’t believe what your eyes witnessed. ‘’Stop it!’’
Dean groaned, as if you and Sam were stepping on his territory. He simply turned his head to you two, not pulling away from Lisa. You couldn’t see her face, your boyfriend’s large shoulder and tall body covering her up. His eyes were still green, which set the scene in an even more atrocious light. 
Your thoughts were racing. How could he come to her, crave her so badly that he drove away miles and miles as a demon? He was supposed not to feel a thing. You prepared yourself for a cold man, not an obsessive one. Apparently, a heart hidden under the black smoke. Choose if it's a gift or Pandora's box. Sam told you their history. Of course he would want that and not you. Dean never left Lisa because he fell out of love for her, he was ripped out from her life. You were so pissed at yourself; how could you picture playing the woman in his veins? How stupid were you? He may be a demon guided by wants and not emotions, but what was love but an amount of outrageous desires laced up with some pretty words and flavored with dependency?
‘’Y/N and Sammy--’’
Love was the wrong word here. Anyway. Go head and unwrap it.
‘’Please help me!’’ Lisa’s voice came to life once more through her quiet cry. Dean hardened the hold around her throat, making her cough a little.
Suddenly, your body is frozen. That, whatever that is, whatever he’s doing to Lisa. It wasn’t love. She didn’t want it. When his frame moved to face you and Sam, you caught a glimpse of her face. She was petrified, her delicate features contorted in wrath and fear and beg for help.
‘’Quiet.’’ Dean howled, glancing at her rapidly before his eyes fell on you and Sam again. ‘’You two are such killjoys. I told you to let me go.’’
You couldn’t believe what you were witnessing. You wanted to puke your guts out.
‘’And what? Kill your ex? Or do something even worse to her?’’ You elicited with disgust.
‘’She’ll come around eventually. Just playing hard to get. You know how frisky women are.’’ The corner of his lips curved into a barbaric grim, one of his hands touching Lisa’s cheek. The victim winced at the touch. ‘’Besides, I’m not just gonna take her. I’ll make her remember and she’ll want me.’’ He shrugged, unbothered by the horrified looks of everyone in the room. ‘’Are you really worried about Lis, Y/N? Or are you just jealous that I didn’t go for you?’’
‘’Enough, Dean.’’ Sam groaned, holding the gun up. It felt oily. ‘’Let her go. And come with us.’’
The demon tossed the brunette away with a simple sleight of hand, pulling his sleeves up with a marred beam. His eyes switched from starry green to black, showing his true facette. It was a peculiar relief. It wasn’t Dean. It wasn’t Dean. It wasn’t Dean.
Yet, Dean’s gruff voice said in a twisted playful tone:
‘’Come get me, Sammy.’’
Tumblr media
Dean Winchester was cured. For most people, to heal is to let go or to learn with things. In the doctor’s case, healing is leaving a bruise to cover up a wound. Everyone believed the war started and ended, and that was it. But when something so ravaging is gone, you gotta deal with the trauma.
He was a trauma. Cured from a sickness, drowning in sorrow and waves of woe. All the worst things Dean ever did, he knew now, weren’t to himself or to the monster he so proudly killed. His unspoken acts were against the people he cared about.
The hunter never thought his hands, his bruised and tough hands could ever hurt Lis. The woman who was his lifeline when Sam died, who allowed him to be a father and live in his dreamland of suburban life. All she ever did was to love him, and what did she get for it?
He was disgusted with himself. What almost did to her was enough to hunt him and make him sure he was going back to hell, very deserving this time. Threating to do that to a woman, and enjoy it… Dean couldn’t bear driving into memories. He was selfishly glad he didn’t remember about that, only Sam’s explanation was enough: he went to Lisa, he kissed her without her consent, and Sam and you stopped him going any further. Would his unscrupulous, demon self go ahead? He was too scared to wonder, even though his brother said that he apparently had a spell to make Lis remember and wasn’t planning on just taking her. A forced kiss was disgusting enough. He just wished Sam had put a bullet in his black eyes right there.
You walked in the bathroom that you once shared with the eldest Winchester
She was everything he ever wanted, all the suburban dreams and acceptance of hunter reality without being in it. Lisa loved him completely and you could only love him sideways-- you never wanted to be a mom, or to have a family or live in a suburb. Those were valid goals, just not yours. You thought you and Dean were on the same page about it, but this other side, not only the pervert demon but the domestic man, hadn’t been shown to you until a couple days ago. Sam had cured his brother, his dirty nature washed away with holy water, but you couldn’t help the bruises that came from the dog days. Lisa had her memory erased by Cass again, you didn’t have the same unfair luxury.
‘’Dean.’’ You said, making him look up at you. Bags under his eyes and wrinkles more evident than ever. ‘’We need to talk.’’
He sighed and wiped his face. ‘’Y/N, I don’t want to talk right now.’’
‘’You never do.’’ You scoffed, gaining an incredulous glance from him. ‘’I know that what happened was disgusting and sick and the worst thing you could ever do, but we need to talk.’’
He took a deep breath. ‘’What do you wanna talk about?’’
‘’You went to her.’’ You stated as a lawyer in front of a jury. Dean furrowed.
‘’What?’’
‘’Lisa. You went to her.’’ When the arrow hit someone so damaged, it was like an animal with his teeth there that wouldn't let go. Yeah, his human soul wasn't the same brittle glass as before but it lingered in his demon self in the shape of delusion, and it was distorted by whatever he was made of, violence and darkness, and turned into something disgusting. ‘’You love her.’’
‘’Love?’’ The word burned his tongue, Dean didn’t think he had the right to ever use it again. ‘’I was a demon, Y/N. I didn’t love or feel anything. What I did--’’
‘’You didn’t do anything.’’ You interrupted, loyal as a soldier.
‘’I forced a kiss on her and wanted to bring her memories back to have sex with her. That’s disgusting and I did half of that.’’ He pointed out aggitadly, plump lips moving fast and voice deeper. ‘’It wasn’t love. Leaving her years back was love.’’
You didn’t miss how Dean didn’t even dare to say her name. ‘’So you don’t think about her? Not even once?’’
He scoffed humourless. ‘’Are you kidding me?’’
‘’I guess I should have been more like her.’’ You hugged yourself, glancing at the wall. You didn’t want to cry in front of him. Not again, not for another woman. That wasn’t even your cicatrix to ache. 
‘’Y/N, what the fuck are you talking about?’’ The fully green eyed man raised to his feet, glancing at you with disbelief. He couldn’t face how messed up it was. ‘’I can’t believe you are jealous of what happened. I thought I was the broken one here.’’
‘’I’m not her.’’ You two shared it, the glance that only two women who were hurt by the same man could. You both understood that when he got inside you, it was like the syringe in an eutanasia. Once you were happy because you loved him, now you were scared and not so sure this was what you wanted. ‘’I’m not her and you knew it. When you became just instincts and selfish and did whatever you wanted, you didn’t come to me. You came to her.’’
‘’I hurt her.’’
The next words fly out of your mouth, as weak and totaled as you felt: ‘’Why didn’t you hurt me?’’
‘’This is the most unhealthy shit we ever went through.’’ Dean’s right. You have her expression mesmerized on your brain. Dean was the man on top of her, teaching her how to hate. How to fear. You can’t trust yourself. ‘’I can’t believe you.’’
‘’Neither can I.’’ You were so sick. How ravaged and annihilated one had to be to wish to be a demon's object of obsession? To get jealous that another woman almost died in the arms of a beast that cried his blood out once he came back to being a man and saw what he had done? ‘’I hate it. I hate feeling like this. I was there and I saw how scared of you she was, how all she wanted was to push you away and run because she was so disgusted--’’
‘’Stop.’’ He groaned, but it came out more like a whine than anything. ‘’It wasn’t me. I would never hurt Lis. I would never force her to do anything! I--’’
You gave him a sad smile. ‘’You love her.’’
‘’I love you.’’ Dean approached you, fumbling in despair to fix yet another thing his hands destroyed. If Rome was built in ruins, he was a kingdom. You pulled away before his tough hands landed on you.
‘’But you love her too.’’ The hunter stopped on his spot, unable to answer. ‘’I ruined myself for you, Dean. I can’t-- I won’t do that again. You are right. This is unhealthy. The fact that you’ve been pining for her for so long, pushing down those feelings to the point they are twisted into something so cruel and disgusting. You need help.’’ What kind of ugly you have to have inside you for a monster to love you? And, even worse, what kind of sickness you have trapped, written in your blood to want it to be spilled out in his name? ‘’You really are venom. If this is how you love, it’s scary as fuck.’’ When you loved a broken man, you were never sure if his shattered pieces would glisten or cut your hand once the light came in. Here’s your answer. His parts crawled inside you through pulled up scars, scraping your insides to make into ruins, but you never liked Rome much. You had to be better than that. ‘’Goodbye, Dean.’’
He couldn’t bring himself to go after your steps.
Once again, it’s the kind of freedom no traveler wants. When you lost it all and didn't have any person or place to cling to, when you had to leave because you were becoming the girl you swore you’d never leave, when you walked away willingly without a map.
Still, it was all you had. You’d make a good use of it. You’d be okay. No more ugly emotions or sentiments that made you unrecognizable. No more knives that cut both ways, or situations so complicated you weren’t sure where your morals could rely on.
You’d be okay, healthy, and happy.
You’d be okay.
Comment & reblog. Feedback is magic! Check my masterlist ♡ Tags in reblog!
178 notes · View notes
wintervvidow · 3 years
Text
apricity one-shot: the time florence got shot
apricity - the warmth of the sun in winter
warnings: gunshot wound, blood mention, mature language
pairing: bucky barnes x female oc
word count: 2,027
A/N: apricity will have a series of installments of one-shots to give in-depth glimpses of bucky, florence, and their story! this is one. thank you for reading! feedback is welcome!
MASTERLIST
Bucharest, Romania. 1990
Eight months into the year-long recon mission.
Florence wasn’t a stranger to the searing pain of a gunshot wound or the stinging radiation of a stab wound. She’s taken too many bullets to count, patching herself up in dingy bathrooms, dark back alleys, and now a safe house in Romania.
She stumbled through the barren apartment leaving a trail of blood, the Soldier nowhere to be found. She pushed the bathroom door open with bloody hands, her footing messily stumbled to the sink as she felt hot blood ooze down her hip. She tore off her tactical vest the bullet had managed to go through and peeled the sticky shirt off of her abdomen, the blood making the fabric stick to her skin uncomfortably. Gritting her teeth, she swiped an alcohol pad up the trail of blood, the movement ending at the entry wound.
The bottle of liquor was in front of her on the sink, leftover from the soldier when he had gotten stabbed the week before. She took the bottle in her hand, the glass smearing with blood, and shakily twisted the cap off and taking a long swig before she poured it on the wound. Florence yelped in pain, biting her shirt to quiet her moans of pain and to keep it out of her way. She places the bottle back down on the sink, the glass meeting the porcelain with a clink. 
She fishes the tweezers out of the first-aid kit and runs them under the tap, the blood loss not giving her the energy to properly clean them. A deep breath in and then the metal enters the wound, blindly poking and prodding her flesh to try to find the slug of the bullet. Florence bites down on the blood-soaked fabric of her shirt so hard she’s afraid she’ll fracture her own jaw, her hands shaking so uncontrollably that she drops the tweezers into the sink. The shirt drops from her mouth as she leans against the porcelain, catching her reflection in the mirror as she drops her head and takes a deep breath in, closing her eyes.
Something shuffles behind her, she lifts her head slowly to look in the reflection of the mirror behind her. The soldier looms in the doorway, his broad figure taking up the entire space of the door as his eyes scanned the bloody mess of the bathroom. If Florence wasn’t so delirious from the blood loss, she would have noticed the panicked rise and fall of his chest or the mixture of concern, relief, and anger swimming in his eyes as he finally took in her slumped form. 
The soldier enters the cramped bathroom without a word and picked the bloody tweezers from the floor. His hand meets Florence’s elbow, gently guiding her to sit on the closed toilet lid, ker skin was paling by the second from blood loss. Bucky reaches in front of her and grabs the whiskey, pouring it over the tweezers. He fishes around the first-aid kit for what, Florence doesn’t know, too busy trying to keep herself upright and not falling onto the floor. The last thing she wanted was for the soldier to carry her out of here like she was helpless.
The soldier found what he was looking for, busying himself with threading a needle to stitch up the wound once he got the bullet out. He hid the shake of his hands well, swallowing down the anxiety that settled in his bones. The thought of something happening to Florence sparked a fire inside if him that would never die out, the embers would always be lit even if it was only a dying ash. Bucky has killed for much less, he wouldn't bat an eye to do it for Florence, it would be the only time he would wash blood from his hands and not end up in a fit of panic. The length Bucky would go for her knew no end, he'd go to the ends of the earth. 
He laid out gauze and pads along the sink edge, much more prepared than Florence. He could probably patch up a bullet wound in his sleep, only if he ever did sleep. Florence tiredly watches Bucky as he turns toward her with tweezers in hand, his stormy eyes never meeting hers and his jaw clenching angrily and shoulders tensing, his body rigid. The girl didn’t have the energy to indulge in his anger, she didn’t understand why he was even angry in the first place.
Bucky set the tweezers down on the edge of the sink, his hands dropping down to his belt, fingers working at the buckle. Florence watched in confusion as he undid his belt, metal and flesh fingers sliding it through the belt loops of his dark jeans. He wrapped the leather around his hand before sliding it off and motioning the folded leather towards her mouth, nodding for her to bite down on it. 
He picks up the tweezers again and kneels in front of her on one knee, looking at her in a silent apology before he plunges the metal into her flesh. Florence bites down on the leather, eyes screwing shut as she balls her hands up in fists in her lap. Bucky continues to dig, the tweezers hitting a particularly tender spot, Florence’s hand flying to his shoulder and clutching his navy blue shirt, causing the man to pause for a moment and take a deep breath. The tweezers finally catch on something solid, Bucky pulling the bullet out quickly and pushing gauze to the wound as he drops the blood-soaked bullet into the sink, blood splattering across the ivory porcelain.
Florence drops the belt from her mouth, watching as it falls the ground between her and Bucky, who still kept pressure on the wound. 
Bucky reaches across himself to grab the needle, finally speaking, “Hold the gauze.” His tone is cold and sharp, a night and day difference from the look in his eyes that expressed that he was scared and worried. Florence could usually read him like a book but now that book had slammed closed and locked itself away. 
Florence places her hand over his as she takes over holding the gauze, Bucky sterilizing the needle with the remaining liquor in the bottle. He'd have to buy another tomorrow. 
He turns back, fingers prying at her hand to remove the bloody padding as he began to stitch the wound closed, not bothering to warn Florence of the sting of the needle, this was her payback for making him feel like his entire world was ending at the fear of losing her. Only she didn't know that.
Time passed slowly as Bucky stitched her up, Florence gaining more awareness as she watched Bucky’s jaw tick, “I didn’t ask you to help me, so why are you mad? Is it the mess?” Blood was everywhere leading to and in the bathroom, she remembered their first month in the apartment, the soldier had yelled at her about her leaving a dish in the sink, something about not leaving a trace that they had been there. She called him paranoid then and she immediately regretted it when the look on his face read like she had just slapped him. 
The soldier clipped the thread and started a new stitch, shaking his head, “No.”
Florence huffed, wincing as the needle plunged through her flesh again, sharp and pulling, “Then what’s wrong with you?”
“You should have been more careful.” Bucky spoke with a clipped tone, not daring to look up at her. If he did, he's afraid he'd crumble right on the floor in front of her. 
If breathing didn’t feel like her sternum was going to crack, Florence would have laughed, “Are you kidding? You got stabbed last week and I didn’t say a word.” The soldier had entered the apartment at 3 in the morning clutching his side with one hand, a bottle of whiskey in the other and a sour scowl on his face. Florence sat awake on the sofa, she was waiting for him to get home, her anxiety growing as the clock continued to tick, and watched as he stumbled to the bathroom and locked the door. She didn't follow but heard the muttered curses through the thin peeling walls. She didn't sleep at all that night. 
Bucky huffed as he finished up the final stitch, “That was different.”
Anger pooled in the girl’s eyes, “Please explain to me how that is different. Enlighten me.”
Blue finally met green, both staring at each other intensely, “It’s different because you are the one that got shot. You should have let me handle the mission today.”
This time Florence did laugh, ignoring the searing pain it sent through her entire body, “You know what? Fuck you. We were sent here to do a mission, that’s what I was doing. Do not treat me like I’m glass.”
Bucky immediately regretted partaking in this argument, he should have stayed quiet, otherwise, right now his feelings wouldn’t be bubbling to the surface, “I never said you were glass. I should have gone with you, protected you.”
All bets were off, Florence’s nerves were fried- frayed and raw and he had just rubbed salt in the wound, “Protected me?! I don’t need protecting! I got shot, end of story.” This conversation sparked a fire in Florence, everything she had been bottling up threatening to explode, taking multiple casualties in its path with no mercy. They were both going to drown in the emotion flooding the air between them. 
That was Bucky’s final straw, his jaw ticked, eyes widened and suddenly he was yelling, voice bouncing of the confined walls of the dingy bathroom, “No! Not end of story! When I walked in, I saw a trail of blood and thought the worst, I thought I had lost you, Florence!”
Time froze, Florence’s brain malfunctioning as Bucky’s words sunk in, “You know my name.” All eight months, he called her soldier, never anything else. She silently prayed that eventually he'd recognize her, give her a dose of before, before all of this, and now it was finally happening. She watched as the soldier stood in front of her, his eyebrows furrowed and mouth parted like he had just gotten caught with his hand in the cookie jar. 
The two stared in silence before he spoke again, his tone significantly quieter as it trembled and shook with emotion, “I'll forget my own before I ever forget yours." Tears brimmed his eyes, "I remembered it last week. Along with a few more things I can’t place.”
Florence had been off the ice considerably longer than Bucky had before this mission, her memory had already come back to her in chunks. All of him. All of Bucky. Everything.
“What-,” Florence gulped, “What things?” Florence pleaded internally that it wasn’t what she was dreading. 
"A ring? All I remember was that it was emerald. I never see the girl I give it to, it’s too blurry. And a pregnant woman? That one is the most confusing.”
Oh fuck.
Fuck.
Florence now had a vendetta with the universe. 
Florence weighed her options of telling him the truth or lying to him, opting to tell him the truth. She settled on only one truth today, she couldn’t handle the other one, not now, “The ring was mine. You and I were together before this. We were engaged, you proposed right before you left for England in the war.”
Bucky only looked at her, a distant look in his eyes, “Oh.” That’s all he had to say, choosing to remain silent as he walked out of the bathroom, leaving Florence to fight the demons herself.
She twisted the lock on the door, slid down to the ground, and sobbed, not caring that Bucky could definitely hear her.  Screaming at the universe or any higher being, she begged them to listen, pleading for something, anything. Death, escape, to wake up from this nightmare. 
None of it was fair.
That night, Bucky and Florence slept through the night in the same bed for the first time, finding temporary peace in each other’s arms. 
Tumblr media
Thank you for reading! Please reblog if you enjoyed!
Tag list: @tanyaherondale @lilyviolets @jckie94 @g-mayunot @geek-and-proud @ginger-swag-rapunzel
32 notes · View notes
aceofspadegrass · 3 years
Note
Imagine Dori going out to play a game,and after he plays the game..he wouldn't just go straight back to the beach,No!. He would steal the car from Niragi and just drives back to his house,going inside his house grabbing fanta and drives back to the beach with fanta,introducing fanta to hatter and we all know that hatter would accept him.
And then bring fanta back to his and Niragis room,breaking the door at the process to just go inside the room. Noragi utterly goes up to him,yelling at him..but when he sees fanta right next to Dori's leg..he's like" Aight,I'mma steal your dog" And just grabs fanta,and the next Niragi would force hatter to let fanta become a militant dog so that he could give fanta a rifle and a Fedora hat..which fanta will not like if the Fedora hat is given by Niragi-
How about dori giving fanta a Fedora hat?,fanta will love it and sleep with for the rest of his life. Niragi giving fanta a squeaky toy that is basically shaped like a rifle
Fanta is a Good Doggo
Characters: Niragi Suguru, Last Boss, Hatter, Dori Sakurada, Aguni, Cabot
Genre: Niragi get’s to meet Fanta! And maybe shoot a dude dead, but shush.
3k words
This was fun to write. Also, I only have a very vague idea of Fanta’s gender (Trust me, I still don’t know if I’m correct) so if I’m wrong, sorry about that. All I have figured out of Fanta’s gender is based on the underside of this very nice Fanta picture.
Tumblr media
When games meant people were going to die in front of everyone lucky enough to stay, within the vicinity of where others shared the same space, not everyone dealt with them well. Some broke a little more each time, some powered through, some even enjoyed it. Either way, everyone earned their right to live in some aspect or another. They fought to keep breathing for another day or two, and came back to their base to eventually do it all over again.
And some, by the sheer power of something refusing to let them hit the dirt and breathe their final breath, just meanders through the games as if it were nothing more than a very realistic fiction.
That’s what was happening, at least in front of Niragi’s eyes. He readjusts the thick black bomber jacket that Sakurada gave him, stained with thick blood, hidden within the darkness. Said man that gave him the jacket was talking to another, who seemed oddly excited to see the man, even though his near carbon copy version was right there within view. Perhaps there was something less wanted in him that Sakurada had. A prettier smile, maybe. Or a nicer demeanour that people preferred to stick closer to. Too afraid to come closer to him.
They were correct to be afraid. Being afraid meant Niragi didn’t have to be seen as weak. But the few that weren’t, respected him. They held themselves at the same level, and Niragi at least gave them the respect if they deserved it.
Begrudgingly, it somewhat extended to his doppelgänger as well. Sakurada never exhibited a single hint of fear towards him, and even willingly attacked him with that darn water sprayer that he kept with him the entire time.
“ Oi! Are we leaving yet or not?” Niragi calls out to the man as he finally bids the other person adieu, Sakurada coming over to him with a kind smile.
“ Hey, can I ask you for a favour?” Sakurada asks, Niragi scowling a little. “ Hah? What for? Can’t you ask me later?” Sakurada smiles at him, and offers zero explanation, other than a simple request to head back himself, as he needed the car to do something. Which, granted, the Beach wasn’t that far from where the game arena was, maybe an extra fifteen minute walk on foot added on to the time it would’ve taken if they took the car, but Niragi still didn’t like how Sakurada thought he’d be okay with it.
But Sakurada was already in the car and driving away by the time Niragi noticed the bastard even left his side with that request, Niragi yelling after the retreating vehicle.
“ Hey!  Hey! You asshole, get back here!” Niragi chases the car for a couple more meters, but the car is much too quick for him to chase by foot, disappearing into the night. Niragi lets out a yell, eyes burning with fury and foot stomping against the ground. “ Fuck!” A presence next to him makes itself known, clearing their throat. “ Hey uh…. Did our ride just up and leave us?” 
Niragi whips around, blood still boiling, staring at a nobody Beach member, who looked far too innocent and naive to realize that Niragi was simply not in the mood for small talk. Next to them was a blank-faced Last Boss, who Niragi briefly forgot was even with them, the rest having perished within the game. That didn’t matter anyways, Niragi needed something to let his feelings out, and he whips his beloved gun from his shoulder and jabs it in the direction of the nobody, who yelps and backs up in fear. Delicious, raw fear, the person staring at Niragi with pleading in their eyes, even if it too dark to properly make out what they held. The wide eyes, the trembling bones, the bobbing Adam’s apple, that was enough.
“Oh, so you can see. Whoop de fucking do.” Niragi snarks, the person holding their hands up in the air, eyes flickering between the cold barrel against their chest and the burning eyes of Niragi. “ Yes our ride fucking up and left. I don’t know what he was thinking, but we’re gonna have to walk back.” “ H-How far is the Beach?” Came their shaky voice, and Niragi stares in the general direction of where they came from, muttering to himself as he forced his brain to work outside the blaze within his bone. 
“ Longer than what I should have to deal with.” Niragi answers, and takes the gun back as he starts walking back to where the Beach should be. The sound of feet against the ground follow him, and the idiot asked way too many questions for Niragi to care about comes too close to his side, staring at him nervously.
“ You seem mad. Was it because of the guy that took the car? I’m sure there was a perfectly good reason for that guy to take the car! Even if it was a little weird he forgot us. It’s a good night for a walk anyways! Lucky it wasn’t a Spades game, otherwise-“ “ Oh my goodness, do you never shut up!?” Niragi looks at them, and in a fit of impulsive irritation he swings his gun against their skull, a crack resounding in the cold empty night, their body hitting the ground with a thud. “ Asking question after question, do you not see I don’t wanna deal with another gosh darn annoyance?! You know what, I’m already pissed, I need to do something. Lucky you.” His lip pulled up into a sarcastic sneer, full of disgust. “ I need a good stress reliever.” He aims the rifle at the fallen body, the person screaming and scrambling backwards.
“ W-Wait!? No, wait, I’m sorry, please don’t-“ Their words were cut off as Niragi pulls the trigger, shots ringing in the air and blood painting the ground. Niragi doesn’t stop until he feels his tense energy get pulled into each and every bullet, when he finally becomes satisfied as the body is nothing more than bloody cheese.
Niragi scoffs, and spits on the body to rub it in, the final piece of the puzzle. He holds his rifle down by his side and stumbles into the night, the sound of footsteps decreased by two.
Three minutes later, and Niragi needed to rant, his mouth opening and spilling his slight  against Sakurada to his only audience. Last Boss says nothing in return, but Niragi didn’t need any words spoken back. He appreciated that, not needing any more of a reason to get annoyed. They return to the Beach within a fair amount of time, nobody truly questioning where the others were or where their car even was, other than a few talking amongst each other. One less  drinking buddy here, one less of a good time there. Niragi ignores it all and heads straight to Hatter’s, Last Boss behind him the entire time.
He opens the door, Hatter greeting them, Cabot sitting on his lap and wearing Hatter’s sunglasses, the cat comfortable. Niragi walks in and slaps the card on the table, huffing. “ There. Your stupid card.” “ Thank you Niragi!” Hatter chirps, and he looks over Niragi’s shoulder, likely at Last Boss. “ And you as well for letting me watch over your cat! She is such a wonderful buddy for a rousing conversation over the legalities of dolphins!” Niragi never hears a response, nor does he even stay long enough, already leaving the moment he was able to. He heads back to his room to sleep the rest of the night off, too mentally exhausted to really want to deal with anyone else at the moment.
Least of all Sakurada, when he would inevitably come back.
—————————————————————————————————
The sun had not risen yet when the door slams open, hitting the wall rather violently. Niragi is startled awake, and he rubs his eyes and turns to the source of the noise, Sakurada standing there with the hallway lights still on and illuminating him. Niragi’s mood sours the moment he lays eyes on him, and he gets out of bed and storms over to him, grabbing the man by the collar of his shirt.” You little bitch! You left me there at the game and made us walk! What fucking gives!?” Sakurada holds his hands up, one gently tapping the grip that had his shirt. He smiles back, opening his mouth to explain. Niragi at least gave him that, one step away from going to grab his gun and give Sakurada a new hole to breathe out of.
“ It was super important that I took the car, since it was a little far and I needed to carry things! Besides, I didn’t want to disturb you guys and cause too much of a scene-“ “ Leaving us there caused enough of a scene, asswipe-“ Niragi shakes the man, Dori wiggling but maintaining his stance. “ Yes, but-“ Sakurada starts up again, and Niragi was near about to punch the pretty asshole when he felt something step on his foot, and the soft sound of sniffing made him look down, thinking it was Cabot for a second. Instead, a small fluffy dog stood there, brown in colour and very cute. Niragi lets go, the dog looking up at Niragi and barking at him. 
“ Is that a dog.” Niragi lets the sentence tumble from his lips, Sakurada eagerly nodding. He  kneels down, petting the pooch. The dog’s tail wags happily.
“ Yes! Niragi, meet Fanta! He’s my dog!” He announces, continuing to stroke the dog. Niragi nods as he too kneeled down, and he holds a hand out to Fanta, who sniffs at his fingers before giving them a greeting lick.
“… I love your dog. Fanta, you said?” Sakurada nods, smiling. “ Cool. I’m going to steal your dog now. Night bitch.” He scoops the dog up and carries Fanta to bed, crawling back underneath the covers and setting the dog on top, Fanta barking and investigating the sheets. Niragi’s gun was still tucked in bed with him, but Niragi wasn’t dumb enough to leave the safety off. He even made sure to put a little cap over the trigger to even prevent it being moved.
He wasn’t a Diamonds for nothing.
Sakurada say nothing, but Niragi does hear him laugh a little, and bid him a goodnight as well. Fanta barks in his ear, Niragi gently shutting the dog’s mouth shut.
“ Goodnight, dog. Go to sleep.” Niragi mutters, Fanta whining a little and wiggling out his touch. At the very least he settles down, Niragi huffing inaudibly and falling back asleep, a warm weight remaining nearby him.
Morning comes too soon, and Niragi wakes up to Fanta still besides him, sleeping peacefully. He smiles to himself, already getting an idea, and he picks up the dog, Fanta waking up with a confused yelp from being picked up so suddenly, Niragi carrying the dog right out of the room. He makes sure not to wake up Sakurada as he heads down to Hatter’s room, throwing open the door and slamming on the lights. “ Hey! You! Wake up you slutty flamingo!” Niragi shouts, waking up the leader of the entire Beach. His hair was a bit of a mess, Hatter grumbling and combing his hair with his fingers. “ Ah? Niragi?” Hatter blinks a few times, and comes over the moment he saw Fanta in Niragi’s arms. “ Oh my goodness you brought me a new friend! Hello you glorious being!” Hatter pets Fanta with the enthusiasm of an old man greeting a grandchild, Fanta barking and wagging his tail happily.
“ This is Fanta. Can I make him a militant dog.” “ Hm? Why?” Hatter asks offhandedly, attention fully on Fanta.
“ Because I want to make him a militant dog, and I want to give Fanta a miniature rifle. And a fedora, obviously. Because he deserves one. So do I.” Niragi tells him. Hatter waves him off, still petting Fanta like he was the greatest thing since rubber ducks.
“ I can get that arranged!” Niragi grins to himself, pleased, and Hatter finally looks up at Niragi. “ I’ll get Aguni to get that all arranged for you!” “ Aw fuck yeah.” Niragi mutters, and Hatter continues to pet Fanta for a couple more minutes before he finally had his fill. With a wave from Hatter, Niragi finally leaves. He sets Fanta down, done with carrying the rather large dog, and heads back to his room, Fanta marching alongside him. Niragi smiles down at the dog, internally vibrating with joy.
“ Oh, this’ll be great.”
—————————————————————————————————
Later that day, Aguni comes over to Niragi’s room, looking at the still opened door, which had a rather decent sized crack running through it. He doesn’t mention a word as he comes over to Niragi, setting a small dog sized rifle and two hats on the bed, one much smaller than the other.
“ There.” That was all he said, and after a brief petting of the fluffy dog, he leaves them alone, Niragi grinning excitedly and putting his new fedora back on. Fanta barks at him, tail wagging. Niragi picks up the smaller hat, and he attempts to lower it onto Fanta’s head.
This doesn’t go well, Fanta barking again and running off. Niragi gasps, offended, and gets up to chase him around the room. Fanta was a crafty little dog though, managing to evade Niragi in every turn. 
“ Get back here you ungrateful little-“ Niragi begins to shout at the dog, but he’s stopped when he feels cold, familiar mist on his face, Niragi stopping in his tracks. “ Ah! Sakurada, what the hell!”
“ Don’t be mean to Fanta! Also, where did you get that?” Sakurada plucks the fedora off of Niragi’s head, Niragi becoming offended again in the past ten minutes as Sakurada opens the window and yeets it out the window as well. Sakurada spots the tiny dog rifle on the bed, and he gasps as well, picking it up and turning around to look at Niragi like a disappointed mother.
“ Are you trying to turn my child into a murderer! Shame on you, Niragi, you should know better!”  Sakurada reprimands, crossing his arms. “ You’re not my mom!” Niragi retorts. “ And come on, Fanta deserves a gun! And a hat!” Sakurada sighs, and simply sets the rifle down on the bed and kneels down, calling his dog over, Fanta happily padding over to him. Sakurada pets Fanta with a smile, then looks to Niragi, the latter still clutching the smaller doggy hat. “ May I see that, please?” Sakurada holds his hand out, Niragi continuing to stare at him. He finally concedes, and he comes over, handing over the hat. “ Fanta didn’t want it though.” Niragi dejectedly mutters with a bit of irritation, but Sakurada only chuckles a little and looks down at Fanta, holding the hat up to the dog’s nose. Fanta sniffs at it a few times, tail wagging. Sakurada looks up at Niragi one more time, Niragi looking down at him in pure confusion, then sheer indignation as Sakurada easily slides the fedora on Fanta’s head. “ There! Easy as that!” “ But- Hey, that’s cheating, how’d you do that!” Sakurada merely shrugs, petting Fanta a little more and standing up. “ I guess Fanta didn’t want you putting it on? Fanta is a very smart dog after all!” Niragi only huffs, crossing his arms and shaking his head at Fanta, who happily lays down on the floor. “ You little prick…..”
Still, that doesn’t stop Niragi from bringing Fanta with him later on patrol, the dog eager for a walk. People cooed at the cute dog, Niragi glaring at a few too dared get too close for comfort. He had to keep up his persona after all, even with the addition of a rather cute dog by his side.
He meets up with Last Boss again by the end of it, Cabot meowing at Niragi the moment he arrives. Fanta barks upon seeing the feline, Cabot tucking herself away into Last Boss’ hood. Last Boss stares down at Fanta in silence, Niragi snorting. “ Your cat is a pussy.”
Last Boss looks at Niragi at that comment, slowly blinking. “ …. Yes? She’s a cat.”
“ Ugh, you made it boring. Never mind. But still! Say hello to Fanta! This is a new member to the militants!” Last Boss nods, and he looks down at Fanta, just staring at the dog. Fanta didn’t seem to mind, merely wagging that little tail.
“ Anyways, I’ll see you later! I need to go get something! If Aguni asks, I went to pamper the fuck out of Fanta. If Sakurada asks, tell him to fuck off. Okay bye!” He waves and walks away, Fanta obediently trailing along with him.
He hops into a car, Fanta in the passenger seat, and drives away, having only the vaguest of ideas where he was going.
Three hours later, he returns, Fanta happily squeaking a squeaky toy that very oddly resembles a small rifle. He opens the door, Fanta running over his lap and into the open area with the little gift in his little doggy mouth, Niragi following after. Once back into the building, it doesn’t take long before Niragi sees Sakurada coming towards him, a worried expression on his face. “ Oh, there you two are! I was worried when you suddenly disappeared, you know! Where did you go?” “ To get Fanta a gift, obviously! Look, isn’t he so happy!” He gestures down at Fanta, the dog squeaking the toy once more. Sakurada smiles, a certain concerned tightness at the edges.
“ Niragi, why did you give my dog a gun again.” “ Hey! A squeaky gun! Huge difference! Don’t get your panties in a twist.”
Sakurada sighs, and he lightly shakes his head. “ Alright, but that’s it, okay?” 
“ Ugh, fiiiiiine. Fanta still goes on patrols with me though.” “ Yes, of course. Fanta deserves to go on walks.” Niragi fist pumps the air. “ Aw yeah. You’re the fucking best, you Dior mannequin. Come on Fanta, let’s go throw eggs at the bleached trash bin.” He runs off, Fanta barking and climbing Sakurada’s legs for a few pets from his owner before running off to join Niragi in his crime time.
Sakurada simply watches them go, with the slight hint of worry for his poor Fanta. The dog was a smart doggo though, so Sakurada trusted Fanta to hold his own against Niragi. Hopefully there wouldn’t be….. too much damage control he’d have to do later.
16 notes · View notes
aquarianlights · 3 years
Text
I am in a serious financial bind. 😥 If anyone is in a position to listen & help or signal boost, pls keep reading...
Tumblr media
This is from my apartment complex. I am in low-income housing. I called them & sent them proof I could pay on the 23rd. I told them I could (just barely) put 100 down now & they said that was too little.
They said they would file for eviction on the 16th, which adds $150 to my rent. They will cancel the court date and eviction on the 23rd when I pay.
But that doesn't cancel the $150 filing fee.
Idk where that $150 would come from. Idky they think it's fair that someone who cannot pay should be forced to pay even more??? That makes no sense. I can only just barely afford my rent every month as is.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
These are from my energy company. I apparently owe them over $600. I genuinely do not know how this happened. We were on the phone for a very long time trying to figure it out & I was in tears for the latter portion of it because I swear I paid.
I usually keep record of my payments via taking a picture of my receipt since they are electronic, but my dog chewed up my phone (which I have pics of if need be for evidence) and broke it, so I had to get a replacement phone sent to me from the insurance company & nothing transferred from the old phone, so all my pics were wiped.
I found no record in my emails, either.
The meds I am taking to try to go into remission and the autoimmune disease itself both cause brain fog and issues with time warping, so it is possible maybe I skipped a month or something, but I highly doubt I would have skipped up to 600+ dollars worth of payments.
I have tons of electronic and hard copy calendars & they are all synced and constantly updated so that I know when payments are due. I also have text and email reminders sent to me, but I could find no reminders in my email for MONTHS now until they were telling me they were going to shut my power off if I didn't pay this. Idk why I was not sent reminders for months???
In the end, I agreed to set up a payment plan. Paying, like... 50-60ish on top of whatever my electric bill is every month for 12 months. It was the lowest they could go.
I can barely afford my electric bill as it is, so idk how I will be able to do this? They did give me a list of charities in my area so I will be using what little energy I have to call around & see if any of them would be willing to help me pay this. Idk how those work (they're mostly churches???), so I'm just gonna try & see what happens. 🤔
Tumblr media
On top of all that, I *think* this is telling me my Medicaid has been cancelled but I'm not 100% sure?????
I'm going through treatment for a very serious, disabling problem that should last ~1 year and rn Medicaid is picking up what my Medicare doesn't cover and some of my doctors/specialists and treatments are medicaid only.
If I lose this, I'm basically done.
I know they'll do backpay if I get it back, but Idk if I *will* get it back. I'll be trying to get it back, but in the meantime, I guess I'll just have to pay out of pocket, idk??? Which I do not have.
I have lost almost ALL autonomy due to this autoimmune disease, which (in a very simplified form) is basically my immune cells "eating" my muscle tissue. I can barely get out of bed. Treatment should put me in remission & give me my life back. I am seeing a rheumatologist, neurologist, dermatologist, PCP, physical therapist, psychiatrist, psychologist, and going to a holistic pain treatment center that does a different kind of physical therapy to bring down pain levels (which I was put into that program by my rheum). All of these are in relation to & necessary for my disease. I am going through TONS of testing almost weekly now & trying out treatments like IVIG and chemo where I am in the hospital hooked up to an IV for 4-6+ hrs of that day and the cost of those things without Medicaid picking up what Medicare doesn't cover is astronomical. I have to sign waivers every time I get my blood drawn (which is almost weekly now), do tests, and do treatments saying I will pay if Medicaid does not pick up the extra.
I already have crippling medical debt; I don't need more. I'm scared they won't let me do any more tests or treatments if they see I am just letting it all go to collections & am not paying.
This could mean the difference between having a life worth living (to me) where I am happy & thriving & autonomous or being bed-bound & living a life of just existing from day to day & miserable & in pain & suffering & unable to do anything for myself. This is literally life and death for me because I wouldn't be able to handle continuing to live in the latter scenario. I cannot handle living like I am now. Knowing my treatments are progressing is what keeps me going. Knowing I can go into remission is what keeps me going. Knowing my future is one completely different from now is what keeps me going. But if I cannot have that and am destined to live in this current state, it's just not worth it. I don't know a person alive who would want to live like this.
Tumblr media
Finally, my anger noodle needs to get to the vet for MULTIPLE things. Nothing is, like... life threatening or super immediate like his cancer was last year, but they're things that need to be addressed in terms of preventative care & to make sure he isn't in pain.
He needs his trachea checked, possibly x-rays for that, maybe more...
He needs some medication updates, needs a physical, needs a full groom & nail clip under anesthesia (for those who are not familiar with Echo, he has extreme fear-based aggression & usually gets this done under anesthesia; since I worked with him so much, he had his first non-anesthesia nail clip at the beginning of quarantine, but he has gotten worse during quarantine & with my muscle eating disease, I can no longer restrain him & don't have the physical strength to run a brush through his thicker fur as his winter coat is in, so I can no longer groom certain areas of him at home, so his tummy & back legs are matted & I fear he may need to be shaved... which breaks my heart since you don't shave double coat dogs unless medically necessary.), he needs a full physical, & needs to be checked over for MCT's.
He may also need a fecal test or something else, as he has been having odd bowel movements. 😥 His tummy has been upset lately.
I have been crying myself to sleep every single night & often during the day because I cannot get him to the vet. No, it isn't urgent or life threatening. But he is reverse sneezing more than normal & I worry about tracheal collapse, which is a common small dog thing & even MORE common in pomeranians specifically. Every time he has a fit, I think "Oh god, this is it. This is the time I'm gonna have to rush him to the e-vet & get slammed with a huge bill & he is not gonna be okay..."
It breaks my heart to see his legs & belly matted. He is horrible about letting me groom him coz of his aggression so he only gets a full grooms at the vet, but I do short grooming sessions at home with him nightly. Takes about 2 hours just to do the majority of one side of him (not even all of it; just most) coz he needs breaks & lots of praise every few strokes or he will tear me to shreds & hurt himself snapping on the undercoat rake. 😥
But now that my autoimmune disease has atrophied my muscles to the point holding up my phone without something to prop it up feels like I am lifting weights & tires my arms out with a lactic acid burn & pain, I can no longer groom him with the patience he needs & can only groom in 20 minute intervals at the VERY longest. By the time I have gotten one leg done during the week, his entire other side is matted. 😞 Matting on dogs---especially double coat dogs---hurts them. It's like if someone were to wrap your hair around their fingers & then pull it taut. It's a constant pulling pressure on their skin... it's painful & irritates the epidermis. I feel miserable feeling the matting on his back legs & tummy & now feeling the mats beginning to form on the rest of him. He hates me working them out, even with the detangling spray. I know it must hurt so much...
So he may need to be shaved at this point & that will destroy me. I feel sick thinking about it. But anything to get him out of pain. Maybe it is what's best for him while I go through this year of treatment & get my muscles back. But in order to do that, I need to get him to the vet.
The stress of not being able to get him to a vet is tearing me apart & literally making me physically ill.
He is my world. My everything. My #1. My heart dog. My priority in life. My entire universe revolves around him. I would do anything for him. Not a single person, animal, thing, etc, comes before him. It is KILLING me that I cannot provide proper care for him right now. I always always always make sure to sacrifice for him if need be & his things ALWAYS come first, even if it means I'm not eating or not paying bills or whatever. As long as he is taken care of & his needs & wants are met, nothing else matters to me. And right now........ I feel he is suffering because of my finances & the fact my treatment with building my muscles up is not going fast enough.
I cannot control the latter one, but the first one is something I can at least ask for help for. So that is what I am doing.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
If anyone is in a place to help, these are my venmo & cashapp codes. I also have paypal.
💙 Venmo: @kqroswell
💚 Cashapp: $kqroswell
💜 Paypal: @kqroswell or [email protected]
If there is another form of payment you're thinking of, lemme know. I also have fb pay activated if you have me on FB (Killian Q Roswell).
Thank you to everyone who read through this & anyone who can help or reblog this. 💖
Sincerely,
Your v scared, struggling transman who really wants his bills/rent paid & his dog to go to the vet,
Killian 💞
29 notes · View notes
Text
Ocean Eyes - Part 5
Tumblr media
To say i didn't get much sleep last night was an understatement! I had spent a couple hours on the phone to my mom telling her about Chris showing up and now knowing about Mason while having a couple glasses of wine. When i finally did go to bed i couldn't switch my brain off,  the last time i had looked at the time it was nearly 4:30am and i knew Mason would be getting up around 6! It felt like i had just closed my eyes when that darling boy of mine came jumping on the bed to wake me up.
After breakfast we both got ready and headed out to the car, i needed to go to the store to get some groceries (if i had guests coming round i should really have something to offer them).
"Oh nooo.... mom creepy Brian is coming out" Mason said quietly.
"Sshhh i told you not to call him that" i chuckled as we rushed to get into the car before Brian could reach us.
"Thats what you and aunt Hannah call him though" he rolled his eyes like i was crazy as i reversed out of the drive.
"Only when we're inside where he can't hear us. You can't say that while his around baby"
"Fine, i wont say it again" he shrugged "is my dad coming back today?"
"He said he was gonna come see you today"
"I like him, he seems cool"
I didn't know what to say to that so i just kept my eyes on the road.
"Mom, dont you like my dad?...."
"Sure i do bud, i just haven't seen your dad in a long time"
"But he makes you sad"
"Im fine Mace, don't you worry" i forced a smiled trying to put on a brave face for him.
Walking around the store i found myself picking up things i knew Chris and Scott liked.... or at least what they used to like.
I was loading the bags into the car when i got a text message.
Chris: Hey, just checking its still okay if we come over today?
Y/N: Sure
Chris: Thats good because we're at the house but your not home....
Y/N: Im at the store, be back in 5 minutes
Chris: 👍🏻
A thumbs up?? Really Chris??
I internally face palmed, he was still a dork.
Tumblr media
I spotted Chris's car parked out on the road leaving the drive way empty, once i had parked up he then drove up and parked behind me. Mason was already out the car and running over to see Chris before i even had my belt off!
I got out and walked around to the trunk to get the groceries out.
"Morning Neighbour" i heard Brian approaching.
"God damn it" i muttered under my breath before sticking my head around to see him "hi Brian"
"You need a hand with those bags Y/N?"
"No thanks i'm good, got plenty of help with these two" i threw a thumb back pointing towards Chris & Scott.
"You sure? i don't mind helping you out"
"Its fine, we've got it" Chris said coming to a stop beside me with Scott and Mason either side of him, he reached in and easily scooped up two bags, Scott grabbing the another.
"We're all good, thanks for the offer though"
"Anytime, you know where i am" he smiled and walked back to his house stopping a few times to look back.
"Urghh" i shivered "guy gives me the creeps" i muttered quietly as i shut the trunk and led the way up to the house.
"Is he always like that?" Scott asked his eyes going comically wide at the thought.
"Yeah. He always appears when we're leaving the house or getting back...."
"Thats a little weird"
"Im sure he's harmless...." i shrugged. Chris was being unusually quiet, I didn't ask him what his problem was.
"Mom and aunt Hannah call him creepy Brian but its a secret" Mason said quietly to Chris and Scott even though we were now safely inside.
"Mace, stop it" i laughed shaking my head.
"He can't hear me mom its fine"
"Honestly kid...."
"Wonder where he gets it from huh?" Scott chuckled at me.
"Definitely his dad" i rolled my eyes "i love him more than life itself but he's a pain my ass sometimes" i muttered quietly so Mason couldn't hear.
"Sounds just like Chris" Scott laughed playfully nudging my shoulder with his.
"I heard that!" Chris added just making Scott laugh louder.
I made some sandwiches for lunch and grabbed some drinks taking them all out into the garden where Chris and Scott were kicking a ball around with Mason.
"Foods ready guys" i called out to them once everything was laid out.
"Can i sit next to dad?" Mason asked running over.
"Sure bud, Scott looks like you stuck with me" i shrugged switching their plates around.
"Fine by me sweetheart, id rather sit next to you anyway"
"At least someone wants to sit with me" i joked sticking my tongue out at Mason making him giggle.
"Hey Y/N..?" I heard Brian call from behind me, i sighed closing my eyes before turning around to see him looking over the fence at us.
"Hey Brian, everything okay?"
"Oh yeah! I just wanted to remind you about the BBQ, your friends are more than welcome to join us too"
"Thanks for the invite Brian but i think we're just gonna have a quiet family lunch"
"Okay well if y'all change your mind just come on over"
"Will do" i forced a smiled and turned back around.
"Has he gone?" I whispered to Chris who had the clear view of next door.
"Yeah" he nodded "that guy needs to take a hint".
"I don't think he knows how to" i shook my head before taking a bite of my sandwich.
"Maybe you should give him a shot" Scott teased wiggling his eyebrows.
"No!" Both Chris and I said at the same time.
"Relax i was joking" Scott laughed before shooting Chris a look. Chris looked like he was about say something but his cell phone ringing his pocket drew his attention.
"Sorry i need to take this" he said getting up from the table "hey Lindsey" i heard him say as he walked further down the yard for some privacy.
"Lindsey? That the girlfriend?" I asked Scott quietly, he nodded giving me a sad smile "its fine, i just wondered"
"I don't think it'll last personally"
"He obviously feels differently if he's now wanting that divorce"
"Thats because he's an idiot"
"Not gonna argue with you on that....."
"So what about you? Anyone special in your life Y/N?"
"Yeah Mason" i scoffed "i don't have time for dating. Being a single parent is tough Scott.... most guys run a mile when they hear you have a kid..."
"But you must have dated a bit?"
"Not really" i shook my head feeling my face burn in embarrassment.
"Y/N, there has been someone since my brother right?"
I looked up at Scott slowly shaking my head "no. I've been on a couple dinner dates Hannah set me up on but nothing ever came of it" i shrugged "its fine".
"Jesus woman how long has it been....like 7 years??" He asked looking surprised.
"Something like that" i mumbled picking up my glass of water, my throat suddenly bone dry.
"Girl that is some dry spell, please tell me you at least have a vibrator!" He said quietly so Mason wouldn't hear. I choked on the water that i was swallowing and started coughing before it turned to laugher.
"God i've missed you Scott" i smiled at him.
"I've missed you too! But that doesn't answer my question".
"Whats so funny?" Chris asked as he rejoined us.
"Just Scott being Scott" i rolled my eyes.
"Im finished mom can we go play football again now?" Mason asked looking hopeful.
"In a little bit bud, your dad and Scott are still eating".
Tumblr media
Hannah and Lucas turned up unannounced not long after lunch was finished and I was grateful for the distraction. Lucas quickly joined in with Mason, Chris and Scott who were kicking the ball around again while Hannah poured us both a glass of wine.
"So hows it been having him around again?" She asked looking over at Chris.
"Weird. But Mason loves it"
"Your handling it better than i would be!"
"Mason deserves to know his dad, Chris has already been warned that i'll kill him if he does anything to upset him"
"I don't doubt that for a second" she laughed refilling our glasses.
"So..... Friday? I was thinking we start small just hitting some bars then we can end the night at 'Ruby's' for some dancing. I know you need to be wasted before you even consider dancing"
"Han i said id go out for a few drinks not an all nighter!"
"Oh come on! You haven't had a good night out in forever babe, we'll find us some cute guys...."
"Hannah...." i groaned closing my eyes.
"Ooh i heard you mention cute guys" Scott sat down looking very interested in our conversation.
"Im trying to talk Y/N into finding a cute guy to give her some much needed attention when we go out Friday" Hannah told Scott making me roll my eyes.
"Id listen to Hannah, you are in some serious need of male attention"
"But i don't just hook up with strangers guys.... we've talked about this!"
"Well maybe you should! Im just saying you deserve to find someone who makes you happy Y/N. Just because your a mom now doesn't mean you can't find love" Hannah said reaching over taking my hand with a smile. She had a point.... i couldn't sit around waiting for a man who had made his feelings perfectly clear 7 years ago. A man who was in a serious relationship..... maybe it was time to try and move on from him.
"Can i please come with you? I could use a night out" Scott asked looking hopeful.
"Sure, its been a while since you joined us on a night out Scotty" i smiled at him.
"You can help me find this one a man while your at it" Hannah smirked and shared a look with Scott that spelt nothing but trouble.
Tumblr media
Everything taglist: @jesseswartzwelder @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit @rynabarnesrogers-reading @rainbowkisses31 @rororo06 @supernaturalwintersoldier
Ocean eyes: @supraveng @michelehansel @denisemarieangelina @mrsjeffwittek @mery-be @marvelfansworld @cmalass @capstopavenger @fallenoutofrose @kelbabyblue @biebsmylife95 @loser-alert @traceyaudette @w3lissax @jennmurawski13 @ford66steal @saiyanprincessswanie
143 notes · View notes
anti-plexus · 3 years
Text
Title: Snowfall
Warnings: Mentions of death and a butt-ton of angst.
————
Tumblr media
————
The wind howled as I stepped outside onto the porch. A compact layer of snow blanketed the land around me, covering my immediate world in white. It was still in the clove of seasons, but snow somehow managed to creep up on our desolate town of Cold Creek, Alaska.
Alaska was a beautiful place, in the daytime, because when darkness fell, the monsters came. Cold Creek used to be a mining town. Every day we used to throw on our sackcloth bags and head out to the mines. What were we looking for? I couldn't be sure, but I never paid much attention to the material world. My mind always scattered itself before I could get even the tiniest grasp at reality. I shuddered when I remembered the mines, those dark passages that smelled of dust and sweat from the children who labored there day-in and day-out.
The town elders believed that the strange dust would be the cure, for everything. I remember asking Elder Jem about it once, but he effectively shut me down before I could get anywhere with my relentless questions. After that encounter, I opted to keep my mouth shut and find out the truth using a more devious way.
I can still hear the creaking sound of the floor in Elder Jem's house as I crept inside, but I, unfortunately, found nothing out of the ordinary in his house, just a shattered geode, a ruby geode. After that incident, I stopped snooping around, but I still kept my questions hidden in the back of my mind. The only thing I remember the Elders saying about the dust was that it was called Z-1b23. Z-1b23 was a sort of dust, a cloud of silvery-white dust, that seemed to permeate the air in the mines. It was something that glittered if you looked at it right. That alone made it special.
The frozen chicken tasted slimy in my mouth when I remembered her. I could see her standing in front of me, smiling her crooked smile just as she used to. Not that long ago I had a sister named Anna. Anna and I would go together to 'harvest' every day. I felt proud to say that those were the best days of my life. Until she went missing one silent, winter night and I was the first one to find her.
Anna was an eccentric, she was crazy, she saw the meanings, she saw the motive, and her gift eventually cracked her open and we found her one night, slit open like a geode. A ruby stained geode. With her ruby geode pieces resting all around her. If it wasn't so horrifying it would have been invigorating. Now we just work harder in the mines, because the town elders believed Z-1b23 caused Anna's craziness. I didn't believe them, Anna was too smart to jump off the old silo and splat. I know she didn't do it because she would have wished to go out in a more Anna way, in a way that screamed "F*** you, world!". I know that because she would have jumped in front of everyone and she would have smiled the whole way down. That would have been very "Anna".
Now, the mines are off-limits, closed. Like the residents of Cold Creek wanted to forget, forget the accidents that seemed to happen daily. I didn't have a problem with the new development, but I couldn't help, but wonder "What happened that night?". It seemed silly at times, but I kept coming back, back to the mines, back to that cursed silo that took Anna from me. But what could I do? I was just a sick, crazy sixteen-year-old with voices in my head that never left me alone. That was one of the only things I and Anna had in common, although Anna's voices were even more violent than mine.
One winter night, I lay in bed, unable to sleep. The voices surrounded me, getting louder and louder as the night wore on.
"Find her" one voice whispered.
"Yes, FIND HER" another voice agreed.
Why did I have to find her? Anna's gone. I went to her funeral, even though there wasn't a body to pay respects to. We all saw it, I can't get it out of my head. Her shattered body, a body that I used to hug without a care in the world. The sad thing was that she never hugged back, she didn't even acknowledge me! Why?! Why was I never good enough? I thought sisters were supposed to love each other unconditionally.
"You'll never be good enough..." A voice whispered. "End it! So you can see her!"
More voices chimed in. A demonic chorus, branding themselves into my brain.
"Join Her!"
"JOIN HER"
I shot up in bed. My feet hit the frozen floor moments later. My door creaked open. The hallway was dim, with only a few oil lamps to light the way. I passed Anna's bedroom at the foot of the stairs. Our house had died a long time ago, and Anna's room was the epicenter of a life-devoid fear. I shuddered at the thought of what lurked behind that vintage mahogany door. Although, I wouldn't have minded facing it if I could get to see Anna one last time. Anything for one last time...
The stairs creaked from the weight of my body as I silently scurried downstairs. I put on my coat, hat, boots, and mittens before silently trudging outside. The pure snow crackled slightly as I made my way through the dense cluster of evergreens. Finally, I had arrived. The old mine loomed ahead, dark and foreboding, even though the bright moon had been up for countless hours. I could just taste the tension. It was sickening.
Suddenly, I heard something splinter behind me and I quickly whirled around. Behind me lay a stick, broken in half, like something was behind me, stalking me. The night felt even more numb as the realization appeared. I shouldn't have come.
Now the monsters had found me and there was no way out, except death.
Another cracking sound, then another. I was surrounded. I then felt a presence behind me, a withered obsidian hand, reaching for my trembling frame. I ran. My lungs burned from the chase and the monsters sensed my yielding body. They could catch me. No, they would catch me! I frantically looked around, hoping to find a shelter, anything to get away!
"The mines! Go to the mines!" A voice hurriedly shouted as the pounding chorus grew and grew. So, that's what I did. I pushed my legs harder, faster. Until I dove in-between the rusted planks that kept everyone away, the planks that had just saved my small, sniveling life. The monsters growled from the other side. Growls and snarls that promised a painful death should I ever return to Cold Creek again. I was an outsider now, I had broken the sacred law and I would pay if I ever returned.
I was fine with that, though. Because this would be my last night anyway. Would the mines kill me? Or would she do that for me? I called for her, my shrill cries echoing through the midnight passages. Where was she? Did she... abandon me? No, she wouldn't. She promised. She always kept her promises. I was just overreacting, of course, I would find her, it was just a matter of time.
I slowly trudged down the moonlit tunnel. The Z-1b23 glowed on the sides of every tunnel, lighting my path with a soft white glow. Then I reached the epicenter of the mine, a spacious cavern that glowed as if it had its own personal sun. And there she stood, in the middle of the cave. Surrounded by heavens glow on all sides.
The air would have smelled faintly of rushing water if water had a smell. It was disheartening that Anna looked better dead than alive. She never shone like this, her eyes were always baggy after every sleepless night she endured months before the accident. Now her brown eyes looked like pools of delectably steamed chocolate and her black hair seemed to sway slightly, though there was no breeze.
She was beautiful, like a perfect picture or even a doll. Looking at her now, she seemed more like a doll than a human. I stared at her for a couple of seconds before her appearance changed. Her long hair suddenly became matted and unkempt and her eyes slowly disappeared until they were gone altogether. The state of her body was by far the worst of all, jagged cracks zigzagged the expanse of her lithe form. She looked like a geode, a geode that had been broken and put together again. Then her body flickered and she was back to "normal". I stood frozen in shock.
She eyed me up and down silently. Her eyes flickering from my face to my clothes in a matter of seconds, examining me, finding my weak spot. Then she would end me, once and for all. I braced myself for the inevitable blow, Anna once told me death only hurts for a second and I felt compelled to listen to her statement. Now the air was changing and the smell of water disappeared, only to be replaced by decaying roses
"Why?" She asked.
I stiffened. "Anna? What do you mean?"
She smiled crookedly. It was a cold smile like she knew something. Something I didn't. "Do you remember?"
"Remember what?" I asked as I suddenly felt sick to my stomach. What was Anna talking about?
"I guess you wouldn't. After all, it wasn't you, just a fragment." Was all she said. "I guess you wouldn't remember the adrenaline, the insanity of watching me drop. Tell me, did you come to make sure it was finished? Or did you run like the coward you are?"
My head ached the more she talked, my palms were sweaty and my face was flushed. Suddenly I was assaulted by the memories, the memories of that night, that fateful night. I did it. It was my fault!
"A-Anna! I'm so sorry!"
"Welcome home.". Was all she said before darkness engulfed me and I was left alone, to wallow in my sins. Finally, I felt at peace. The voices surrounded me, whispering nonsense. They really hated me, didn't they? But, I simply took a breath, in and out, in and out. A calm settled over me, trapping me in its fuzzy embrace. The voices slowly subsided until it was just me. Just me and no one else. Life sometimes sucked, but it was moments like these that helped and I was happy. Happy that I didn't have to deal with the pain and fear. I smiled. I was home, for the first time in many years.
Thank you, Anna.
————
I wrote this in 2019, so it might be a little different than my current writing style, but I hope you all enjoyed regardless! :)
2 notes · View notes
one-spidey-boii · 4 years
Text
BUMMER SUMMER || peter parker; ch eight
read ch seven here
masterlist
an; my back has been killing me lately and all i wanna do is sleep you guys it’s no good. but i’ll tell you what is good...yellow starbursts. i’m losing my mind, enjoy the chapter :))
warnings; mentions of battle wounds (i.e. blood/scars/etc), future smut, mature language, fluff, angst, both peter and oc are 18+!!
word count; 2.3k+
Tumblr media
edie's pov
peter and i sit together on the edge of the bed for what feels like forever. my head rests on his shoulder as he gently rocks me back and forth and his hands rub small circles along my back. neither of us say a word as seconds turn to minutes and the rise and fall of our chests settle in sync with one another.
i want to push away the small seed of doubt that brews in my stomach. it crawls up and wraps itself around my heart, squeezing just enough so i won't forget it’s there. i can't help but wonder why this is happening, and why now? my heart stings at the possibility that this was just under circumstance. the fact that we are the only two people here and he may see me as his only form of...release. but i knew peter wasn't like that. he isn't.
peter's lips move to my ear, "i'm so sorry, edie." he whispers. i raise my head slowly, all the nerves and doubt rise to the surface of my brain.
"wh-what?" i say doe-eyed. my arms unclasp from behind his neck and i begin to slide off of his warm, inviting lap. before i can, his grip on my waist tighten and he pulls me back to his chest, impossibly close. i ignore the throb in my side.
"look at me, please." he begs. i meet his gaze and swallow thickly, giving him a tiny nod to continue, "i can't tell you how...horrible i feel that this happened to you," he pauses to lift my shirt up ever so slowly and trace my side, "i know it was my turn to go out a-and this wouldn't have happened if i just talked to you." peter's voice cracks as he says the words and his eyes begin to water. the glassy look in them make my stomach twist.
my lips turn downward in a frown, this is not what i was expecting, "you couldn't have known," i reply, confused at his guilt, "i'm glad it was m-me and not you," i say matter-of-factly, my eyes begin to water along with his.
peter moves his hands onto either side of my face, holding me there gently, "what are you talking about? i would've been completely healed by now, without as much as a scratch. edie, i wish every second that passes it was me." i frown more at this.
"but i'm getting through it. just because my body isn't enhanced like yours doesn't mean i can't get back up just as strong. it happened to me, peter. i have to live with this and i don't want you wishing it upon yourself." this time i slide completely off his lap and onto my own feet. his hands reach out for me, but i step back and shake my head.
"no, peter, im serious. and-" i stop talking before i can finish my thought, not wanting the words to hit the space between us. peter pushes back.
"go on, what were you going to say?" he presses, rising to his own feet. i shake my head vigorously, "it doesn't matter."
"yes. it does." he says, his voice growing deeper. i continue to shake my head. i don't want to say it, because if it's true- it would hurt more than getting stabbed in the side.
"just say it!" he snaps at me as his hands come up to grip my upper arms. i yelp and stumble back at the force of it. my body shakes as i throw his hands away from me.
"i can't! i don't want to believe that you're doing this out of pity because of this stupid scar. or that you're only touching me because you're bored of touching yourself! i don't even know why you would want to. i mean, have you fucking seen it?" i yell, my voice cracking, finally spilling out the toxic thoughts that have been eating away at me. i'm so exhausted.
peter takes a step back, away from me, "is that what you think this is?" he whispers. his eyes hold nothing but sorrow.
"i don't know, pete." i reply, absolutely defeated. without thinking, i back up to the wall and slide down until my butt hits the floor. when wet paint meets with my skin, i groan and shove my head into my hands. nothing seems to make sense anymore. does peter really feel something for me? am i the blind one?
soon enough, peter crouches in front of me. he gently pushes my legs apart so that he can rest between them. and i let him. he brings his hands to rest on the wall by either side of my head. he leans in close, i can feel his breath on my cheeks. i lower my own hands and look at him, challenging him to say something, anything. his eyes flicker over my face, resting on each feature until they land on my lips. i absentmindedly part and wet them with my tongue. he meets my eyes again and leans in until our noses touch.
"believe me when i say this, edie wolfe, you will always be so much more to me than this," he moves one hand, now covered in wet paint, to trace my scar covered side, the cold liquid makes me shiver. i nod my head slowly, choosing not to say a word.
instead, i lean in towards him until our lips ghost over each other. i shiver again at the mere of idea of him closing the gap and making this real. all my efforts to push away my feelings are failing me. and that's okay. i want it to be real. i want to push away all the doubt and fear and just feel him.
in a beautiful moment, peter finally leans in the rest of the way and his slightly chapped lips meet mine in a soft kiss. it’s not a long embrace. he pulls back and tries to speak, but i'm too quick too connect our lips again. i need this. i need him.
i eagerly place one hand on his bicep and the other around his neck, pulling him into me. his other paint covered hand comes to rest on my cheek, making me gasp at the chill.
my slightly parted lips give no objection to peter as he takes advantage of the opportunity and slips his tongue in, deepening the kiss. his grip on my side tightens and i arch my back into his body, suddenly finding him too far away. he eagerly grabs both of my hips and hastily flips us around so that his back is to the wall and i'm sitting in his lap once again. my hands steady themselves on the wall and are quickly covered in paint just like his.
i want to say the moment stayed sweet and soft, but neither one of us could hold back as the kiss grew hot and needy. i slip my hands in peter's hair and tug on the roots, causing him to utter a moan that tightens the coil in my stomach. wanting to hear him more, i tug harder and suck his bottom lip between my teeth, biting down lightly. when he lets out a deep groan from the back of his throat, i smile with satisfaction against his lips.
"oh shut up." he whispers and moves to suck on my jaw. i let out a sigh as he trails kisses from my neck to my collarbone, stopping every so often to bite down and leave a mark on my now flushed skin.
"i like it when you do that." i whisper softly and breathily, hoping i'm loud enough for him to hear. he bites down harshly on my neck and it makes me suck in a harsh breath of air.
"oh really?" he asks, his lips trailing back up to mine, leaving a light kiss before he moves to my ear, "i quite like the feeling of you right here." he teases and gently bites at my earlobe. then he grinds his hips up into mine and we both let out moans into the hot air shared between us.
"do that again." i plead, with my eyes closed and lips trailing to bite at his shoulder.
"yes ma'am." he replies back, causing me to smile as he raises his hips up to grind against my own. it's then that i finally notice the prominent feeling of him pressed against my core, separated by only a few layers of fabric. i groan at the feeling and the thought of those layers no longer being a hinderance.
peter pulls me in for one more kiss before speaking again, "now do you see what you do to me, wolfie?" i nod my head sheepishly, finding it hard to come up with the right words. my cheeks flush and i lean in for more of his electrifying embrace, but he stops me short.
"we should quit right here before i get carried away." he says, out of breath, his eyes filled with lust- it makes them look almost black.
"what if i want you to get carried away?" i tease, my moral compass tipping over its limits, and this time i move my hips down into his, hoping to relieve the pressure building up inside of me.
he clicks his tongue at me, "tsk, tsk, don't want to get too crazy so soon." his eyes twinkle with mischief.
before i can even react, he swipes two paint covered fingers across my cheeks and lets out a hearty laugh. i look at him in disbelief before i grab for the paint tray, slapping my entire hand into it and running it down the length of his face. peter's shocked face only lasts a second before the mischief returns.
i squeal and jump up from his lap, just missing his stretched out arms as he tries to grab me. i race to the other side of the room and into the bathroom, locking the door behind me.
with a huge smile, i yell, "ha! try and catch me now." with which he just slowly waltzes up to the door and jiggles the locked doorknob.
"don't you remember when i ripped your door off it's hinges last night?" he says pointedly. my smile drops at the truth of his words.
"pfft, well, i need to take a shower. so you'll just have to go solve your little...problem on your own, peter parker!" i yell from the back of the bathroom and turn on the shower. i can't stop the smirk that spreads across my face at the thought of him still rock hard beneath his shorts.
i hear a huff behind the door, "i would never force you to do anything you didn't want to do," peter pouts. i laugh at the silly boy.
"i know you wouldn't, pete, but i am gonna take a shower. somehow the paint got alllll over me." i reply, playing the innocent card. he chuckles from his spot.
"okay, wolfie. i'll see you for dinner, yeah?" he asks softly.
i nod my head with a dumb smile on my face before remembering he can't see me, so i call out, "where else would i be?"
i listen to his footsteps until they're down the hall and out of earshot. i close my eyes and let out a deep breath of relief, leaning against the bathroom sink.
peter's pov
after sheepishly walking back to my own room and cleaning the paint away from my skin, i flop on the bed and take care of my own situation. a part of me is relieved i can let my thoughts drift to edie without feeling guilty for the way i think about her. at least i think i can? i don't know, is it okay now?
shaking the thought away, i, yanno, finish, and make my way to the kitchen to whip something up for the both of us. i dance my way through grabbing all the ingredients i need as i hum an old song.
my groove is interrupted by an angry red alarm blaring throughout the room. i snap out of it and run to the nearest control board on the wall, trying to search for what had tripped the alarm.
a red circle envelopes one of the back doors that leads to the outdoor training grounds. without hesitation, i run to the door and stop short when i see no one there. still, i cautiously survey the area and stand my ground.
as i thought before, there's no one in sight. not one person or animal or anything. i begin to walk away when a piece of paper stands out on the tile floor. it must have been pushed under the door. i pick it up and read through the handwritten words- ten, twenty times before my heart sinks into my feet.
'glad to see your girl has healed up quite nicely. don't you worry though- we're not done yet.'
footsteps come running from around the corner and i turn sharply on my heel to see edie, soaking wet and wrapped up in a towel.
"what was that? is everything okay?" she says, eyes wide and curious. i quickly hide the crude note behind my back and swallow, it feels like i'm trying to digest a rock.
"n-nothing. just the mailman, he came to the wrong door and it set off the alarm. nothing to worry about here." i say, hoping i played that off well, but i know she can see right through me.
i don't even think we have a mailman.
|| taglist; @my-patronus-is-mabel-pines @whycantileaveyou @lovewolfspirit @kitykatnumber @franksholland @goddamnit5sos
32 notes · View notes
blckestnte · 7 years
Text
So, you noticed?
I doubt you read this, but if you do. This is all of the things I wish I was brave enough to say out loud.
if you read this, you’re reading something that while typing I cried. I won’t lie. Something that sounds kinda like a goodbye. Something.. from inside me.
I’m ugly. I’m fat. YOU hate me. I Love You. I need you ten hundred times for than you will ever need me. I’m a time bomb. I’m the problem. Run. Run away before I Hurt you like I Hurt EVERYONE.
PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME! I WOULDN'T SURVIVE!
You look at me and think “He’s a big boy, he’ll be fine.” but god.. no one seems to realize i am So, so close to just snapping and having another break down. I only feel like eating when i’m with you, maybe i’d care more if someone else noticed. I just want to hide under my bed and ignore the chaos that Is MY LIFE. I live everyday and no one sees. Darkness has creeped into my soul like it falls over the earth, but instead. I’m Alaska and its that time of year where the sun hides itself away for six months. Six months; Do I Have That Time? Do I want it? 
No, all I want is to sleep. To slip away unnoticed. To stop looking you in the eye and lying “Yes baby, I’m fine. really” because I’m not. “Talk to someone?” How. How do you sit someone down who knows nothing about you and let them slip into the depths of your agony. How could i possibly sign my life away, watch those doors shut in my face, for a brief moment of clarity. What would I do? 
Doctor’s sign their little pads to prescribe pills to make everything better, but why would I want that? Without this six foot black leviathan sinking its claws deeper and deeper into the crushing darkness of the Mariana Trench of my mind; who am I? Moments become days, which bleed into months, and suddenly years have gone by coping with this illness.
Depression. Anxiety. Sadness. Whatever name you wanna use.
Being depressed is kind of like carrying a backpack of bricks around 24/7. The backpack gets heavy after a while, and all the sudden you’re on the ground.
Being depressed is also fake smiles and making others laugh. I always tell people I love to make you laugh. I never tell them that I do that, because of the fact my anxiety is so high that if you don’t laugh with me. My brain tells me you’re laughing at me. I worry constantly and continuously shove you away because I know how badly it is going to crush me when you finally leave. because.. Everyone leaves. No matter what. I can’t handle being twisted up in someone else again and then having to tear myself apart after they walk away... B. C. H. I. J. M. R.... Everyone leaves. Break ups, Misunderstandings, many reasons. They change us for the better, and for the worse. They leave indentations in our lives forever. Or at least they did in mine.
Being depressed is lying. Looking people in the eye and saying Nothing is wrong when all you want to do is drop out and die. Smiling at your best friend and telling her SHES crazy for worrying. That she needs to go have fun. That he doesn’t have to worry about anything. You’ll be the when they get back. He/She, whomever they are. They love you. They love me. But my brain and the darkness laugh in the background and go “If they loved you, they wouldn’t take so long to answer. You aren’t fooling anyone. They Hate you.”
Years of my life, wasted because of it. “Do you regret anything?” Logically you would imagine I should say “Not Getting Help” but no, I don’t regret that. Getting help means I have to change my life plans. I can’t, I don’t know how to do anything else. Instead, I carve my sadness into the flesh on my arms. I drink my way to the bottom of another bottle. My foot, collapses in exhaustion on the gas pedal, too tied to move to the break.
I always say my favorite season is winter, but its not because I love to cuddle or because of christmas. I love Winter, because the darkness that breaks into my heart and camps there, is finally also on the outside. It is finally cold enough that as soon as the tears of yet another panic attack mark my cheek, the freeze and no one notices. Winter is my soul. The death that grips each tree and leave. The crunch of each branch under my boots, the white wisps of breath escaping my lips. All Of It. Reflections of what on the inside.
All of this said, if you even make it this far. I don’t want to die. Are you surprised? No worries, so am I. Saying that, most people would immediately go to “You don’t want to die, you aren’t depressed.” Oh, darling, say that to the monster that walks side by side with me. I do worry that one night, clenching my knife like it is the only life line to the outside world as i drag it across my screaming skin, that I will finally lose control.. and not be able to stop. The thought crosses my mind, “one.. two.. only four people Might go to my funeral..” Would you miss me? You say you would, but grief is a brief emotion. Would you still think of me years after, like I think of Tyler? I doubt it. I’m nothing special. He was the sun. I’m just a dying leaf slipping from fall to the depths of winter. If i die, don’t hurt. I know that is asking alot, but please. Be Happy. Be Happier than I was when I was alive.
At last, when I tell you not to worry, I mean it. I don’t plan to die, and usually the monster is content with just a few drops of pain. If I do, please don’t hurt. Just remember the moments where I smiled at you, and told you I loved you. Don’t ask yourself what if. What if isn’t something to dwell on. If you read this, take those what if’s that worry you, and do them. So later on, you can’t ask what if. All you can say is... I Did.
I love you, whoever reads this. I pray it doesn’t make you sad. If you know me, don’t worry. If it makes you think of someone you love, just give them a hug. Depression is a killer, a silent, dark, murderer. Suicide happens everyday. 
Growing up, they always told me God never gives us more than we can handle. I used to believe that, but if it was true... Why do people give up?
Sincerely,  O.C.H A broken boy, with a broken spirit.
1 note · View note