#because it owns my heart and I can't let it go!

[kaizynofsickness]

Brain is rotting

Boyfriend!Sukuna headcanons (fluff/general relationship, angst, smut), true form Sukuna. MDNI

Fluff!Boyfriend!Sukuna who was insanely fond of you when he first met you, in his own sick and twisted ways. He wouldn't stop thinking of you, and for a second he thought you were powerful enough to make his brain disfunctional and think of you only. Until he leaned what it is called—he was aware of the emotion, just hated the feeling—love.

Fluff!Boyfriend!Sukuna who wants to have you to himself already. I mean, you're so tiny compared to his all mighty four armed monstrous form, eyes glaring down at you. So what if your scared? Scared that he'll kill you when you're the one killing him, heart and brain all in one.

Fluff!Boyfriend!Sukuna who will never admit it, but is dying to see you. Well, as much as he can get close to dying. He isn't needy and up your ass like someone else, he can go without your voice for a week.

Fluff!Boyfriend!Sukuna who is highly interested in the way you speak. Telling him that whenever you're away from him and waiting you're 'screaming and biting your fist.' at first, he thought it was funny to imagine. Until he grabs a hold of your fist, almost aggressively. "Stop biting yourself like a dog." His way of saying, I'm highly concerned. Please don't hurt yourself.

Fluff!Boyfriend!Sukuna who has fun with you to an extent when you help him rearrange his domain for the 100th time. It was nice having a partner to do his work with him.

Fluff!Boyfriend!Sukuna who is never fully out of character. Not even when you get your period. Yeah, he'll still hug you and allow you to lean on him, rub your back with his large and veiny hands. But don't expect much. He isn't going out of his way to help you because your bleeding. Blood is normal, and from what he heard it's not blood from a wound. So why complain?

Fluff!Boyfriend!Sukuna and his way of using his rough hands to message you stomach and sides. "I am not your slave bitch." He grumbles and complains constantly about how you have him doing this and not the other way around. What is he to you, you mere human?

Fluff!Boyfriend!Sukuna who is as possessive as he looks. Someone staring at you for too long? "'kuna, why is my friend missing?" Is what he expects to hear days later after the incident of the persons eyes lingering on you body for too long. "Dunno." He would brush it off quickly.

Fluff!Boyfriend!Sukuna who often makes sexist jokes. Like if you somehow can't cook right or lack amazing skills, he'll pop out that sexist joke of you being a terrible housewife.

Fluff!Boyfriend!Sukuna will regret saying some jokes like that if they end up hurting your feelings more than he intended them to. He won't apologize immediately and it will be a salty ass sorry. But next time you walk out to cook or do dishes, he will yank you away from that spot and let you watch him do it himself.

Angst!Boyfriend!Sukuna started to hate how he acts around you. Either he's too mean and makes you cry or too nice and makes himself cringe. He misses how he used to be before you rotted his core with that dumbly cute smile.

Angst!Boyfriend!Sukuna who bites his tongue for the things he wants to say to you when you act out of line. Who clenches his fist until his nails dig blood out of his skin because he wants to cave you into a wall so bad. Yet he knows he'll loose you. So for once, he hurts himself. Not someone else.

Angst!Boyfriend!Sukuna who's arguments get heated really quickly. Sometimes, it's petty little things like why he burned you house down to force you to live with him or why he kicked a dog you actually liked, but it can get serious. Like when he's hurting someone for touching you innocently. That's when he ghost you for the longest.

Angst!Boyfriend!Sukuna who almost took a sort of pleasure in your tears, as toxic as that sounds. When he was arguing, you decided to simply cry. If you were a normal bitch, he would've killed you. But you looked so pretty with wet strands of hair on your forehead and tears streaming down your flushed cheeks. He fought off a smile at your weak state.

Angst!Boyfriend!Sukuna as shocking as it seems, wants to be better for for you. He wants to stop wanting to see you cry and wishing he could watch you burn sometimes. Because he loves you. Really. Yet for all those months you teased him by not being his, maybe you deserve to cry.

Angst!Boyfriend!Sukuna who gets upset when you get upset. You could be mad at somebody, and he will be mad with you. But if you're mad at him, he will be absolutely enraged with you. So much that he will lock you in his domain and not that you leave. Who told you to talk to him like that? Who told you to tell him who he can kill and who he cannot? Maybe being in a room full of bloody skulls will shut you up.

Angst!Boyfriend!Sukuna—"Woman." He angerily calls out before stomping to the room you kicked you in and made you stay locked up. He opens the door to see you, upset and fuming yet scared and sad. The sight almost hurts him. He'll bend down, scoop your small frame up into his four arms, one hand holding your rear end and the other one stroking your hair, the other two bear hugging you. "Forgive me..." He gives you the best apology he can. Only to go back and do the same thing again.

Smut!Boyfriend!Sukuna who is a bitch in bed. If you think he's toxic when he's in public or chilling, wait until he unleashes hell on you with two cocks.

Smut!Boyfriend!Sukuna who won't pathetically masturbate for you. He'll call your ass near him, legs spread wide open and his dicks already wet from his own pre as he smears it on the tips. He waits before motioning you to come with a coy smirk. "Ride." Is all he has to say and all he will say.

Smut!Boyfriend!Sukuna who most definitely will take advantage of his ability to spawn mouths anywhere and using is four arms to its fullest ability. When fucking your from behind? A hand will slide under, palming your pussy before a tongue lashes onto your clit and desperately sucks orgasms out of you.

Smut!Boyfriend!Sukuna doesn't waste any time as soon as he is inside you. You can already feel mouth forming on his dick and licking your walls. You have never felt anything like this, virgin or not. With every fast and steady pump of dick, tongues run wild and lick along your clenching cunt.

Smut!Boyfriend!Sukuna or the simple act of a pair of hands holding your waist to help you hop on his dick and the other two gripping your tits. He loves when they bounce. Yet, with your back facing to him or not, he pinches your nipples and hold them so when they bounce up and down doesn't hurt so much. Because he has you trained like a good whore to ride him hard and nice or else your ass will be bruised and red.

Smut!Boyfriend!Sukuna who loves to use his size and two cocks to intimidate your small cunnie and body. He find how your hole is basically begging to be stuffed yet your dumb little mouth won't stop talking and saying that he's too big funny. When once he fingers the mess out of you, at least half of his cock could fit in.

Smut!Boyfriend!Sukuna who sits on his thrown and thinks if he should edge you or overstimulate you today.

Smut!Boyfriend!Sukuna seeing you beg for his cock inside—the same one that you complained was too big—with dewy eyes clouded with lust and needy, rubbing your clit right in front of him, humiliating yourself for some dick. Makes him go feral.

Smut!Boyfriend!Sukuna or the misunderstood bubbles coming from you as you actually try to run away from his dicks, yet when he has you in a mating press with both your gaping holes right there, full of cum and cock, he ain't stopping. He watches with a smile at your tear stained face, glossy and kissed bruised lips quivering with every desperate cry of his name. Why have two holes in the same area when he can't stuff them? It feels so surreal for you—one of his dicks twitching to orgasm as the other isn't even used enough and pumping you like he hates you.

Smut!Boyfriend!Sukuna who buys (or steals) all of the hardcore lingerie are bondage toys just to use them till they break or ripping the clothes right off of you. When you sit in his throne, red silk robes and a lace bra just below your nipples, watching you touch yourself through the shear laced panties that were soaked, makes him wanna kiss down your small dainty, delicate legs. And he kneels down you legs, in between before his teeth shread the pretty clothing. You're the only woman he'll ever get on his knees for. For that pussy.

Smut!Boyfriend!Sukuna who loves to have sex in public. If anyone happens to see, it's not like he can't just kill them on sight. But he enjoys watching you squirm and desperately trying to push his large body away from your small one. He loves when people start getting suspicious when they hear wet squelching sounds. Not only does he have to cup his hand over your mouth to shut you up, but now he has to deal with a sobbing pussy all over his dick.

Smut!Boyfriend!Sukuna he keeps telling you to keep it down, shoving you into deep and bruising kisses. With the way you moan like you're taking five guys at once, it's like you wanna get caught.

Smut!Boyfriend!Sukuna who will never admit it, but you can tell just by the way he acts, he is pussy whipped. He just loves the way his inhumanly large and thick cock glides and disappears inside that tiny hole and reappear, covered in your arousal and slick. Or the first person up close view of your throbbing clit, waiting for his tongue.

Smut!Boyfriend!Sukuna who takes a hit in spanking you. Not even with his hands. With a belt, or maybe with a whip, paddle. He'll give you a good 10 licks before finally giving you a break. Sometimes, he doesn't as a punishment. Making you count and leaving you in tears.

Smut!Boyfriend!Sukuna he leaves you ass red and stinging. He'll be as nice as to run up and down on your ass and add cream, cooing and telling you how good you counted. Or if you miscounted the amount, he'll end up giving you some more, with his hands or fucking you even more brain dumb.

Who wants a fic of this, fluff, angst, or smut?

˚꩜⋆.°⭑Do not copy, translate, or steel in any way, reblogs are appreciated and allowed.

@kaizynofsickness

#sukuna x reader #sukuna x you #sukuna smut #sukuna ryomen #headcanon #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen #ryomen smut #ryomen x reader #ryomen sukuna #jujutsu kaisen smut #x reader #fluff #fem reader #female reader #smut fic

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Hedy Lamarr (Samson and Delilah, Ziegfeld Girl)—Look. I'm sure someone has already submitted Hedy Lamarr because she was spectacularly beautiful, and a very strong lady too: she fled both an abusive marriage AND nazi persecution at a very young age and rebuilt a life for herself pursuing her love for acting all on her own!! Her career as an actress was stellar; while she began acting outside of Hollywood (her very first movie, Ecstasy, won a prize at the Venice Film Festival), she conquered American hearts very quickly with her first movie in the US, Algiers, and then just kept getting better and better. If all this isn't enough, she was also an inventor: her invention of the frequency-hopping spread spectrum radio transmission technique forms the base of bluetooth and has a lot of applications in all kinds of communication technologies. I think that deserves a prize, don't you?

Gina Lollobrigida (Solomon and Sheba, The Hunchback of Notre Dame)— One of the highest profile movie stars in Europe across the 50s and 60s. International sex symbol. Starring in European and American movies. She appeared in movies alongside Hollywood stars such as Humphrey Bogart and Rock Hudson. Was in 54 movies by 1970. A MOVIE STAR in every essence. Has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Won three David di Donatello, a Golden Globe two Nastro d'Argento, and six Bambi awards. And nominated for more.

This is round 4 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Hedy Lamarr:

The only person you can find both on the Hollywood Walk of Fame and in the Inventor's Hall of Fame--her radio-frequency-hopping technology forms the basis for cordless phones, wi-fi, and a dozen other aspects of modern life. She was also passionate in her efforts to aid the Allies in WWII (unsurprising for a Jewish-Austrian Emigree to America), and her name served as the backbone for one of the best running jokes in what is possibly Mel Brooks' best movie. Look, Louis B. Mayer apparently believed he could plausibly promote her as "The world's most beautiful woman". Is an entire website full of people going to be less audacious than one Louis B. Mayer? I didn't think so!

Described as "Hedy has the most incredible personal sophistication. She knows the peculiarly European art of being womanly; she knows what men want in a beautiful woman, what attracts them, and she forces herself to be these things. She has magnetism with warmth, something that neither Dietrich nor Garbo has managed to achieve" by Howard Sharpe, she managed to escape her controlling husband (and Nazi Germany) by a) Disguising as her maid and fleeing to Paris or b) Convincing the husband to let her wear all of her jewelry to a dinner, only to disappear afterwards. Also she was particularly clever and helped develop Frequency-Hopping Spread Spectrum (I can't really explain it but anyway...)

Her depiction of Delilah and Samson and Delilah just lives rent free in my head. The woman was gorgeous.

One of the most beautiful women ever in film, spoken by many critics and fans. Beautiful shapely figure, deeper seductive voice, and often played femme fatale roles. She was also brilliant and an inventor. Mainly self-taught, she invested her spare time, including on set between takes, in designing and drafting inventions, which included an improved traffic stoplight and a tablet that would dissolve in water to create a flavored carbonated drink, and much more.

Gorgeous and brilliant pioneer of modern technology and the middle part.

Gina Lollobrigida:

She was an international sex symbol once dubbed as The Most Beautiful Woman In The World. She acted in films in both Italy and France before starring in Beat The Devil with Humphrey Bogart. When portraying soprano Lina Cavalieri, she sang all of the songs in her own voice. This role won her the very first David di Donatello Award for Best Actress, Italy's academy awards.

She was one of the highest-profile European actresses of the 1950s and 1960s, a period in which she was an international sex symbol. Humphrey Bogart once said of her: "She makes Marilyn Monroe look like Shirley Temple."

Literally starred in a movie called "The Most Beautiful Woman in the World". I rest my case.

#gina lollobrigida #hedy lamarr #hotvintagepoll #ladies 4 #fuck that old woman

[ncis-nerd]

But Daddy I Love Him

ship: older!natasha romanoff x younger!reader. wanda maximoff x natasha romanoff.

warnings: angst, no happy ending, mentions of cheating, older nat, jerk nat, younger reader, wanda is kinda a dick, age gap, arguing, being ignored.

a/n: happy ttpd day!!

"I'm done with being your second choice Natasha. Just because I am younger than you, it doesn't mean you can just go off with other women because you're scared to admit that they are what you are looking for. Someone older, more mature, someone you can relate to" Y/N exclaimed, her small frame against the older women's.

Her green eyes met y/n's gaze which only confirmed what y/n feared. "That's it? You aren't going to say anything?" Y/N spokes as she grabbed a suitcase from the closet.

"I'm so sick of Wanda! Don't think I didn't see all the ways she touched you. Her hands always on you whenever the two of you were together. I'll tell you this Natasha. I'd rather burn my whole life down, Than listen to one more second of all this bitchin' and moanin'" Y/N threw her arms up in protest and huffed.

"Where are you gonna go." Natasha spoke dismmisingly. She doesn't think you'll actually do it. You have no where to go, no one to go to. Her eyes watering at the slight chance that you may be serious.

✦·┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈·✦

Natasha had an award dinner and she asked you last minute to come. It was odd she didn't ask you earlier in advance because they usually know about these things at least 6 months in advance with scheduling and whatnot. But you didn't think much of it. Because you didn't want to accept the alternative.

You came as her date but it sure didn't feel like it. You were the youngest there, all the avengers were at least 10 years ahead of you. It didn't help that your girlfriend left you to fend for yourself, your eyes stuck on her and Wanda. Natasha threw her head back, laughing. Wanda's hand on her shoulder. Their prolonging eye contact. The way they looked at each other. It gave you a bad feeling in your gut but you pushed it away.

No, I'm not coming to my senses. I know it's crazy. But he's the one I want.

You refused to accept it. She said she'd never let it come between you guys. That your age difference would never break you up. She lied. You rose up from the table but no one even noticed, everyone engrossed in their conversation. A stray tear fell from your glassy eyes.

You made your way to the bathroom. Attempting to keep your composure, they already think you're immature, you don't want them to see you as a baby on top on that.

You looked at yourself in the large glass window. You looked at your reflection. Your dress glistened in the light. The door swings open. It's Wanda. Of course she was the one who noticed you missing. Ironic isn't it.

"Y/N" she spoke, her voice filled with fake concern but a hint of guilt. You refused to meet her eyes, not willing to give her that sense of comfort. "Y/N, I'm not going to lie to you just because you're younger than us. I like Natasha. And honestly it feels like she is into me too. There's nothing I can say to make you feel better but I assure you I would never make a move on her while the two of you are together. I promise." Her eyes met yours in the mirror.

"I have money, I know you don't have anywhere to go but if you and Natasha should split, please call me. I don't want to on your own, fending for yourself. I can help you get an apartment or something." Wanda offered.

I just learned these people try and save you'. Cause they hate you

Of course, of course she wants to "take care of you". Because you're the little fragile thing who can't handle heartbreak. She just wants to make a move on Natasha, this is a ton of bullshit. You press your nails into your hand. You smile politely and say a simple thank you. Not wanting to cause a scene and give Natasha more of a reason to leave you.

✦·┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈·✦

Thinking it can change the beat of my heart when he touches me. And counteract the chemistry. And undo the destiny.

Her hand reaches for my shoulder, to stop me from leaving. "That won't work anymore, Natasha. I'm calling Wanda. She offered to help me get an apartment." You spewed out, reaching for the door. It hurt. You no longer called her Natty, the sweet nickname you had gave her when your relationship was in an earlier stage. A simpler stage where you didn't have to question if she wanted to be with you.

You slammed the door behind you, goodbye Natasha.

✦·┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈·✦

#wanda maximoff x reader #natasha x reader #natasha romanov #natasha romanoff #my writing #my fic #natasha romanov x y/n #ttpd #ts ttpd #tortured poets department #the tortured poets department #Ttpd fic #but daddy i love him #natasha romanoff x reader #wanda x reader #wanda maximoff #Wanda maximoff cheating #wanda maximoff angst #natasha angst #natasha romanoff angst #natasha romanov x reader #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha x you #natasha romonova #natasha romanoff x you

[seungmoonandstars]

𝐼'𝓂 𝓈𝑜𝓇𝓇𝓎 𝐼 𝓌𝒶𝓈𝓃'𝓉 𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒

Kim Seungmin/female reader

wc: 3.1k

synopsis: someone is cheating // pt 2

rating: angst/sort of fluff ꩜ -`♡´-

⤜ · · ♡ · · →

Now Seungmin remembers just how lonely he can get

The dorm is silent. It’s late and everyone is asleep, but he didn’t realize just how late it had gotten until he closed the door a little too loudly. He drops his bags and pulls off his clothes as he makes his way to the bed, tossing them and leaving a trail as he goes. Typically, he throws them right into his hamper, or folds them neatly on his chair, but tidyness is far from his mind right now—almost everything is.

But still, his mind is racing. It’s spinning and it’s aching, and his heart is, too. He feels outside of his own body as he replays the last hour in his head, and he just wants to wake up from this nightmare.

Seungmin crashes onto the bed. He hasn’t been here in a few weeks, at least not to sleep, and the bed feels all wrong. The thought of being here, and not where he’s supposed to be breaks him, and his breath catches in his throat as he desperately holds everything back. But it’s too much, and he has to cry. Silently, though—that much he can do. He turns and pushes his face into the pillow and lets go.

A text comes through, and the first thought that runs through his head—it’s you, it has to be. Pleading for forgiveness, and throwing I love you’s in every direction. It’s not until he looks at the screen that he remembers the shattered remains he left on the floor. But you have other ways; your laptop, mainly. If you really wanted to, you could reach him right now with no trouble.

This text is from Jeongin.

min is that you? I didn’t think you’d be here. Everything okay?

As quiet as he was, that was all kind of ruined when he had to blow his nose and breath properly again. And there’s something about a post-cry nose blow that’s just…obvious.

yeah I’m okay

Everything will come out in the morning anyway.

If you say so…we can have a drink and watch something if you want to talk

Jeongin isn’t just perceptive; he knows Seungmin well, and he knows when something is off.

we can talk tomorrow, I should sleep

Seungmin has no hope of sleep tonight.

· · ♡ · ·

The broken phone at your feet blinks pathetically, trying with everything it has to hold on and buzz a text message in. You don’t care, though. You don’t need your phone if Seungmin isn’t texting, or calling, and only realizing that now is your problem. You got complacent—apathetic over the months you’ve been with him. Unbelievably stupid. You’ve ruined the best thing that ever walked into your life. All you can think of now is every word you want and need to say to him, but you can’t.

No, you can. Your laptop is right there, on the coffee table. If anything, you can gather and organize your thoughts, because you can't imagine him wanting to hear from you tonight. Getting him back might be impossible, but this still feels necessary. Sending it off in an email is something morning you will decide on.

Minnie, I’m sorry it’s come this—I’m sorry you have to feel the way you do right now, and I need you to know how much it kills me that you’re hurting. I’m sorry that I’ve done so poorly as your person, something I should be better at by now, that I have to write to you this way just hoping you’ll read it. I’ve failed you, because I should have been stronger, and I should have been there for you when you needed me the most. Not stronger, no, just better…more perceptive and more understanding. I do know how lonely it gets for you, because you have mentioned it before, but I’ve been so selfish for so long. Getting to be yours for the last 2 years has been a dream. I never thought someone as sweet, and funny, and loving, and as beautiful as you would ever come into my life. I won’t try to explain my actions, because there is no explanation. I don’t deserve you, or your forgiveness. I broke your trust. I broke everything. I felt entitled to fix my loneliness when you were suffering with it, too. But you didn’t hurt me. You’ve never hurt me. I want you to know that I love you, though. I love you more than anything. You are irreplaceable and I will suffer without you, because I should.

Three, four times you read through it before deciding to hit send. It can’t wait until you decide to wake up in the morning, because sleeping tonight will be difficult—but crying is exhausting. You doze off for an hour, then jump out of it abruptly for no reason. Panic takes over, and your heart feels like it might explode as you orient yourself in a tangle of sheets. Seungmin isn’t here, and it takes a moment to remember why.

You smack the keyboard of your laptop until it wakes up, and the new email at the top of the pile makes the panic even worse.

RE: (no subject)

Twelve minutes ago.

You click it and brace yourself for more heartbreak; more difficult truth. An end.

· · ♡ · ·

Seungmin does decide to get up and get a soju, but he does it alone. He needs something to help him relax; numb things a little, and make his eyes a little heavier. The time between is spent looking through old messages between him and you, which is not making things better, but Seungmin wants to figure out where things went wrong. He gets as far back as four months of texts when a notification pops up on his phone.

You did exactly what I thought you would, he mumbles to himself. It’s an email, no subject. Before the little banner disappears, he opens it, and he devours every word far too quickly. Seungmin’s heart races and his stomach swirls as he scans each paragraph, and then he immediately goes back and starts again, slowly.

Now he has something more to dwell on. He gets up and heads to the kitchen for another drink, and when he returns, he just starts typing:

I love you, too. Before I say anything else, I want you to know that. I keep reading your email over and over as I type, because my head is a mess and I can’t focus much right now, but your words ground me. They always have. It’s been a while since you’ve given me a hand written letter, and this, of all things, made me miss that. You have a way with words that I just can’t seem to replicate. I’m hurting like I don’t remember ever hurting before. I feel opened up and ripped apart. I feel like I’m not enough, or I wasn’t enough. I was scared of a relationship because of this, I guess. Being away, not being enough, because I know I’m bad at expressing myself sometimes. Most of the time. Not being with you much makes it even harder. So I feel at fault, too. I need to own up to not always being there when you need me, even though it came with our type of relationship. I’m sorry it’s so hard for us to talk like this face to face…or for me to, I guess. I didn’t give you a chance.

· · ♡ · ·

That’s it.

You’re relieved, but you’re not sure if you should reply again. Leaving it at this until morning might be the best option. But what happens in the morning? Does Seungmin come back home? Will he reply if you email him again? Maybe he’ll sleep in late, leave again, leave you waiting for a message just like you did to him. You think back to the last time he was home, and how you weren’t even here because you ignored his text. Not just ignored, but didn’t even look at it to see that he was waiting and wondering why you weren’t there to greet him.

It feels like your heart is being squeezed just imagining his confused face. And then your mind moves to him…the other one, and it makes you sick thinking of him now. It should have done that before. Irreplaceable is exactly what Seungmin is, that was no exaggeration.

Luckily, you fall asleep with his words in your head; the I love you, the possibility of another chance. And your guilt, still, of making him think he hasn’t been enough.

· · ·

There’s hardly a chance to think of replying to Seungmin. You don’t sleep long, because once you’re awake, you’re awake. Showered, dressed, coffee slowly dripping in the glass caraffe. You prep enough in the hopes that he’ll have some, too, but that’s mostly wishful thinking—a desperate attempt at a manifestation.

A reply has been rolling around in your head since last night, and it formed into a solid set of paragraphs as you took your time in the shower, now you just have to sit and hope it comes out just as well. And you do open his email, but instead of typing, you grab a pencil and a piece of stationary from the desk—stationary you bought just for his letters. You haven’t touched them in at least a year.

It actually comes out easier this time.

Seungmin,

Might as well start properly.

You’ve always been enough. I see you struggle every day with balancing your work and your regular life…me, us. I don’t know what that’s like—

The sound of keys makes you stop. The slide of metal against metal as it’s pushed in and turned; every bit of it is so, so loud. You look again at the broken phone on the floor, not forgotten, but not even deserving of a place in the trash can. You couldn’t bring yourself to touch it.

When you look back at him, the first thing he does is find you, and then he looks to the aftermath of his out of character temper. Then back at you.

You set the pencil down and stand, but you don’t take a step toward him. Every part of you screams to be closer, though.

“Hi,” he takes a few steps inside, kicks off his shoes next to yours. “Morning.”

It’s nearly noon, but you can pretend you didn’t stay up and sleep in late. You haven’t had coffee yet, anyway, so that’s what you do—you force yourself to the kitchen and pour a mug, and then you pour the rest over ice for him.

He watches, but looks at what you were working on as he gets closer to the coffee table. You don’t say anything when he picks up the piece of paper and reads it, rereads it. “I got you something,” he says as he places it back on the table.

“Uhm…you did?”

Why would he do that? You don’t feel like you deserve his gifts at the best of times, so you certainly don’t want anything now.

Seungmin digs in the shopping bag and pulls out a little white box, opens it, and then hands you your new phone.

“I was out of line last night, when I…” he looks at it on the floor again, “I’m sorry.”

“No, Minnie…you weren’t, at all”

“You didn’t deserve my anger”

“I did, I needed it. I want it. Please don’t be nice to me.”

“Okay, if you really mean that…” He walks over slowly and picks up his glass, takes a long sip... “I’ve never felt so angry at you before. I didn’t think I could feel like that, honestly. And I was still holding back.”

“I could tell. Part of me wanted you to let go.”

“Let go, let go how? I could never hurt you.” His touch is a relief—the gentle slide of his thumb across your skin, his hand closing softly around your neck. A much different touch than last night. “Phone, yeah. Him, maybe.”

“That person is gone”

“Did it help…did he help? Were you less lonely with him?”

Thinking about it isn’t really necessary, but you take a long moment to look at Seungmin—his eyes are big and wet, and they’re puffy from not getting enough sleep, or crying. Most likely both, though you can only remember seeing Seungmin cry once in the time you’ve known him. And it wasn’t over you.

“No, I wasn’t. I think it was making me feel worse.”

“I’m irreplaceable, right?”

The tease in his voice is obvious, and his little laugh breaks every bit of tension in the room. You need to pull him in and kiss him, but whether or not you’re there yet is still a mystery. Instead, you shift slightly closer.

“Yes, you are”

He smiles. You’ve seen him smile like that before, and it’s always when he’s in a certain mood. Seungmin sets his glass down and takes yours from you.

“Seungmin”

The desperate whine just makes him smirk.

“Please, Minnie…I need you, so much”

“I know you do, I know.” But he grabs your wrists and stops you as you move toward his hips. “You have me. And I need something to.”

“Of course, anything”

“Can you finish your letter?”

· · ·

Seungmin is never fast in the shower, especially not after he’s been away for so long. There’s no need for him to rush around now—he knows he has plenty of time, and plenty of hot water no matter how long he takes. Typically, you leave him alone when he’s in there, despite the occasional urge to go in.

But this time, of all times, you decide to act on that urge.

There he is, behind the glass partition. Steam chokes the air, and condensation keeps his body mostly hidden from you, but he’s tall enough that you do get a peak—back turned, head twisted to the side so the water can beat down on his neck and shoulders. He rolls them, groans with relief, and sighs. It makes you dizzy.

Then he finally opens his eyes and sees you staring at him. He smiles so wide, with all of his teeth, and it’s the most beautiful sight. It’s as if nothing bad has happened, and nothing is slowly tearing the two of you apart.

“I think I’m finally losing hot water,” he muses, mostly to himself, but he doesn’t turn it off. What he does do is turn to you and fold his arms over the partition. He’s just tall enough. “Hi, do you have something for me?”

You nod, shyly, and you don’t know why. The way he’s looking at you seems brand new, and it feels so intense.

“Seungmin…” you start, paper clutched in one hand. You don’t think you even need to read from it now.

He doesn’t interrupt, but he nods and gives you another little smile.

“You’ve always been enough. I see you struggle every day with balancing your work and your regular life…me, us. I don’t know what that’s like. I don’t know how difficult and tiring it is to be on all the time, and to switch off when you walk through that door to me. I have it so easy—I get to hide away from everything, and then at the end of the day, or the end of the week, month…I get you, I get to hear your voice, and see your face, and I couldn’t ask for anything better…”

He ducks away, and the water is turned off as one more big plume of steam rises up and starts to clear. You reach for his towel, hold it open for him, and wait patiently as he drips and shakes his hair. It’s cute, and it’s the first time you’ve seen him do it.

“…because there’s nothing better”

Seungmin steps out and lets you wrap it around him. The water beading down his chest is too much, and as he’s tightening it around his waist, you lean forward and kiss him there. Muscle flexes as you pull away and place another one, and then another until your lips close around his nipple.

At any moment, he could pull away from you, because he hasn’t made his intentions clear yet. He could stay now, for a while, for the last time, or he could leave as soon as he’s dressed. The letter is written and read to him, though it was short, and maybe that was the last of your say on the subject. Maybe that’s why he showed up—that, and the phone.

No. Seungmin wouldn’t put in this much effort just to turn around and leave. He’s still upset, and he’s still confused.

He looks down at you and closes his eyes, savoring the warmth of your lips on his cool skin. It might be too much right now to touch again, but he wants to.

A hand up your back is all it takes to get a sound out of you.

“Hey”

“Yeah?” Your forehead presses against him and you avoid his gaze.

“Everything you said, just now and last night…” he stops and hmms to himself, musing out loud again, “and what I said. Why can’t we say those things to each other. Why did it take this, after so long?”

“Because we’re both afraid of being vulnerable with each other, at least on our feet.”

Seungmin laughs at that. “Yeah, I guess it’s a little different during sex, but even then…”

“Are you saying you want—“ you stop, but not because he interrupts you. You stop because you’re terrified of his answer.

“…to work on it?”

He can still finish your sentences. Maybe that’s part of the problem—thinking you can read each other’s mind, even though sometimes you absolutely do.

“I can feel your heartbeat”

And it feels like it could stop at any moment. It feels like you’re standing on the edge of a cliff, preparing to jump…to get pushed.

Seungmin pulls you even closer, and you wrap your arms around his waist.

“Is that what you think we should do?”

“I just want you to trust the person you give yourself to”

“Is it silly if I still trust you? I know you want me to stay, but the way you talk makes it seem like you’re pushing me away. Like you’re giving me an out.”

“No, it’s not silly. I don’t want to push you away, but I do hate myself more than I ever thought I could.”

“Maybe we’ve talked enough today. We both need more sleep…can we do that?”

#kim seungmin x reader #seungmin x reader #kim seungmin #kim seungmin fanfic #kim seungmin fluff #kim seungmin angst #seungmin x you #kim seungmin x you #seungmin angst #skz x reader #skz seungmin #skz seungmin x reader #skz fanfic #skz angst #stray kids fanfic #stray kids seungmin #김승민 #승민 #seungmin imagines

[correctproseka]

You know what, I'm gonna give a go at analysing Mizuki and umbrellas. If this is complete nonsense then I'm not surprised, but heres my thoughts

Mizuki consistently is able to offer help to others. The rest of Nightcord are the most obvious examples, being the one that often will reel ena in when she's frustrated with the others, and always being concerned for Mafuyu and her home life. But Mizuki never really accepts help from others, she will wave away concerns and delay, obviously Ena is the Greatest example of this.

Now how does this link? Mizuki always shelters others from the rain, offering their umbrella to others, their safety and care, both symbolically and literally. But the same isn't done for her. The Mizuki trained is her literally standing in the rain, giving away their shelter, and letting themselves get soaked, for others. Mizuki cares more for helping others than helping themself, and so they consistently offer their "umbrella" to another and isn't offered one back, because she wouldn't accept it. you can even extend this to the card where Mizuki offers their handkerchief to Ena, being fine with getting dirty as long as ena is fine, or other cards with similar themes that I can't think of right now

So, in conclusion, the umbrella symbolises safety from the elements, from the rain, and Mizuki will rather give others safety than look after themself. I think the card for when Mizuki finally comes out should be her, standing under an umbrella, held by Ena.

Hopefully this made a bit of sense

It really does, and it ties back to canon.

This is niigo we're talking about, all of them want to disappear in one way or another.

Mizuki never told Niigo about the bullying, nor their secret, we can assume they didn't let anyone in her home know about the bullying too at middle school (though the secret was un-hideable).

So Mizuki's "umbrella", her protection is her hiding away, keeping their emotions close to their heart, not letting anyone see it.

Mizuki shows the most of their heart when offering help to someone, shows the most of who they ARE, going away from their protection to offer it to someone else.

Plus, they don't care if they get wet by the rain, for Mizuki, the life and comfort of others is more valuable than their own

#project sekai #ask #crime-soncloud #is it ok i added to it? vjsmcj #but yeah i think you nailed it

[katebeckets]

the tortured poets department

i have thoughts!! surprising, right?? this is for anyone who cares to read them ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Before you read, note that this is going to be critical of things, so let me just start by saying I have loved and listened to Taylor since I was 8, so none of it is said lightly or without careful thought (in fact, this took me absurdly long to write). Most of the issues I have are very near to my heart, actually, so I've spent a lot of time thinking about it. If you don't want to read criticism, then just don't read more. DISCLAIMER that I did my best, but not even this fully captures the nuance I feel able my own opinions lol I recognize the other sides and points, I really do. I hold many conflicting opinions.

The short version is I will always love her music and her voice and she is capable of writing absolutely gorgeous lyrics (dare I say poetry?). I don't tend to think too much about the sound of it because if I like the sound, it's all I really care about—maybe it sounds the same as other stuff, but if I like that other stuff, I don't really care about whether she branches out or not. I think it's great and interesting when she (or anyone) does, but I also don't like change so it doesn't matter to me the way I know it matters to some people. That's just me!

What gets more complicated for me is the narrative, themes, and general trends that have been more prominent the last year or so, and that's what the rest of my thoughts are. It's me enjoying the music while also being acutely aware of all the grief tangled up in it because of how much less connected I feel in many ways.

Side note: this got soooo much longer than even I expected and it still just scratches the surface! so if you decide to read, 1. thank you, and 2. I'd love to keep talking to you. 🤍

———————————————————— 💭

I am an overthinker (shocking!) and will for sure be annoyed that I can't think of each and every thing I think about this album, but this is what comes to mind right now. Some things that have stood out to me more and more with each release:

a tendency to write self-aware lyrics that, in trying to be self-aware, betray somewhat of a lack of self-awareness

a frustration with never growing up that she expresses while also not realizing the way she is complicit in that and her own refusal to grow up

considering herself the victim, particularly after "overcoming" the accusations that she always plays the victim

venturing more boldly into the territory of serious mental illness/suicidal ideation/mental health treatment despite demonstrating a fair amount of ignorance regarding those things in the past

fame going to her head (in the sense of her becoming further and further out of touch) and the entitlement in a lot of the more immature attitudes that come across in these songs

self-awareness: for me, the first example that comes to mind is Anti-Hero: "it's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me." It's a claim at self-awareness because she's poking fun at the fact that she knows people always say "maybe she's the problem." The reason why it feels to me like it exposes a lack of self-awareness is because she explores it mostly as a criticism to overcome and not a valid point of self-reflection. @jakeperalta's tags on her post explain it better than I do. Yes, there's an issue when you reduce every feeling to "well maybe she's the problem," but part of growth is admitting that maybe you are part of the problem and coming to terms with the fact that there is often some inevitable truth to that statement—and being willing to work on it. This example is from Midnights, but I think it ties into the next point.

immaturity/never growing up: I actually think these first two sections are just two parts of one section, but it's easier to read this way anyway. There are lots of references to not growing up on this album, the first that come to mind being "So High School" and "teenage petulance." Maybe it's just me, but as a 34-year-old woman, I wouldn't want to be feeling "so high school." I mean, as a 25-year-old, when I talk about feeling like my high school self, it's usually because I'm recognizing how limited my judgment and self-awareness was in high school (despite all the therapy and my efforts to be self-aware in high school). And I am aware of my own bias here—I absolutely hate the football game days because I didn't even like watching people act like that in high school, but at least they were high schoolers—but I do think part of what we've seen is Travis allowing her to be more immature and take less responsibility because that's also where he is at. Obviously I don’t speak to it with any authority since I don't know what happened in the relationship, but based on her behaviors and what I know about Joe (which is VERY little), I kind of get the feeling that part of what she didn't like about being with Joe is that he pushed her to grow. "Your integrity makes me seem small," etc. etc., but not in an “I want to grow” way, but not liking that feeling because she shouldn't have to feel small just because she wants to be able to only do what makes her happy. Just looking at the difference in her behavior and the fact that it seems like she's stopped trying to learn (Miss Americana-ish), it seems like she very much resents the responsibility that comes with being such a famous person and mainly considers herself a victim of her fame.

victimhood: to an extent, yes, she is a victim of her fame. No one should have that much fame and power, and of course she didn't sign up for it in this way. But wanting to have the kind of influence and reach that most artists desire is intertwined with fame. There isn't a way to separate it (in an ideal world, maybe, but that isn't what we're dealing with) and it's something that, to some degree, artists do sign up for. And I think she resents that she's expected to take any sort of responsibility for anything that she doesn't want to do, in a very, "but that's not fair!," teenage petulance kind of way. She even says in Sweet Nothing that "I'm just too soft for all of it." We're all too soft for all of it, but that doesn't mean we get to ignore it. It bothers me that she doesn't seem to feel any sort of responsibility to use this giant platform to do better. Everyone is aware of her influence, including her. I think that's part of the grief. No, it is not her job to use her platform for good, but I thought that it was something she valued and something she wanted. The other line that really stuck out to me was from Cassandra: "They say what doesn't kill you makes you aware, what happens if it becomes who you are?" You may be a victim of what doesn't kill you, but if it becomes who you are, that's not their fault. It reminds me a bit of the exhaustion of living with mental illness. For me in particular, it affects my relationships in a very fundamental way, and there are days that I sob because I am exhausted of things that are so normal being so, so difficult for me... but even though I didn't ask for it and it's not fair that this happened to me, it's still my responsibility to understand how my issues affect how I show up in relationships. It's still my problem, even though it isn't my fault that it's my problem. And if you're lucky, you find really beautiful people who are willing to help you and see that it's not their responsibility, but they want to make it easier for you—I recognize how lucky I am to have some people like that, but it never makes it anyone else's problem. If they decide one day it's not their problem, the truth is that it isn't (and then there's a more complex conversation about what you want to do to preserve a relationship). This is also very connected to something about Kate Beckett/why I identify with that character, and I can touch on that if anyone wants to know, but I don't really have cohesive thoughts about that prepared (it makes more sense if you already know the character). This also goes to other things, like her being upset that people always focus on who songs are about while ignoring the part she played in feeding that culture (like with secret messages).

mental health: this goes to a bigger discussion of how we turn to celebrities who are HIGHLY unqualified to have opinions on things for guidance (the nuance of the above discussion about using your platform), but the more she ventures into the discussion of mental illness, the more upset I get by some remarks she has made in the past. And yes, people grow, she may not feel this way anymore, but nothing in her behavior gives me any reason to believe that she doesn't still have this attitude. This is one that I know I have to be careful of because of how personal it is for me (I've been placed on a 5150 "danger to self" hold and I am a therapist), but one interview that has always made me so upset is that one where she talks about how she's never been to therapy, then ends it by saying "I feel like we just had a therapy session." She has said multiple times how she has never wanted to go to therapy when she has her mom, who already knows everything about her. And that is highly irritating to me because 1. that's why she's your MOM, not your THERAPIST, and 2. there's already so much stigma and apprehension around therapy and many people feel this way, so to have someone like Taylor Swift validate all the people who say "I'd rather talk to someone who already knows me" or "so and so is my therapist" is unbelievably frustrating. There's a reason it's unethical to treat people you know—that isn't therapy. And I think I wouldn't be so bothered by it if she didn't speak about it with such authority, like she knows what she's talking about when what she's saying shows that she doesn't. The other thing about this album is that it does seem to be an album about loving people with mental illness, and I've already seen a lot of interpretations that simply feed the narrative that people with mental illness are unlovable and mental illness is the reason people mistreat you (particularly the discussion about her lovers being blue all the time). And the issue with that is it's already a common misconception among people with mental illness, that their mental illness is an excuse or reason why they don't treat people right. It's disrespectful to the people who recognize that they have a mental illness that affects how they interact with others and choose to try to overcome it. I'm all for honest discussions about mental illness, but it's so disheartening when it happens on such a large scale and some of the loudest voices are people who don't know enough to know how to (at least try to) do no harm.

fame: I'm not really going to go into it because this has already turned out way longer than I meant for it to, but also because I feel like it's already been touched on. For me, it's the conversation about her feeling she should be able to just do what she wants. I think we all feel that way, but because of her fame and the fact that she's just about untouchable (as shown in how she came back from being cancelled), she can just tune everyone out. But one example was how uneasy I felt about this album being announced at the grammys. For one thing, it's not a fan-voted award, so even if it should, it doesn't feel the same. And regardless of your take on award shows, I do think it showed a level of insensitivity to the other artists who haven't won a bunch of grammys to decide that she would announce a new album at the grammys. Because even if she had a backup plan and said she didn't plan on it, the truth is that, to decide to have a backup plan, you did have to count on it happening, at least to an extent. You had to feel it was likely enough that you wanted to have a back up plan just in case, but it probably would go the way you wanted. To me, it just felt so... disrespectful. Because for many other artists, it doesn't happen more than once. (not to mention the many other things happening that got completely overshadowed, like Annie Lennox calling for a ceasefire)

So if you read all that... I don't even know what the point is at this point. These are just thoughts that, to me, don't feel right to simply ignore. I know there's an argument that you can enjoy music without enjoying where it came from, and it's true to an extent, but I also think part of the music is where it comes from. So... I don't know. Do with that what you will. And if you are reading this, I love you (I can't believe you're reading this).

#ttpd #tswift #low key mutuals you might not want to read this

[demonproofboi]

ok, putting my thoughts in order

I get the why. youtube sucks and each year that passes, it sucks more. they have a company and employees, and they've said before that watcher wasn't actually making a profit. it is way too harsh to say they're too greedy or "just like buzzfeed" or other stuff I've seen thrown around. they deserve to get money for their work, we are not entitled to free content, etc! I agree with all that.

the thing is though... I don't see how this could feasibly work? like, putting aside how most people are fed up with the sheer amount of streaming platforms popping up lately, the way I see it, their content does not have enough variety to warrant a paid subscription. and if it were to become varied enough, it would probably need a bigger cast and shows run by different people. and the problem with that is that we can't deny that the main appeal of watcher is how much people care about shane and ryan and (it pains me to say this, you all know he's my favorite but, to a lesser extent) steven. a ton of us are here because we wanted to keep watching them. for the people, not the shows, essentially. that is very clear when you look at the views of their shows.

idk, what I mean to say is, I don't see how they could have a catalog of content that justifies paying a monthly subscription if you're not a very avid fan willing to support them just because they're them, and even then those avid fans might end up dissatisfied because either a) a lot of the content will not include the people they want to see or b) the content will not be frequent enough. maybe I'm wrong and there is a third option here but, let's be real, there's gotta be a limit to how many different shows they can put shane and ryan in to have a varied catalogue and frequent upload schedule. and if it's not them in those shows, we bump into problem a.

I know the topic of whether or not $5.99 is a lot of money also became a reason for fights around here. this is what I have to say, as an international fan: depending on what country you're from, it's the sort of expense you just can't justify. like, the sort of money you shouldn't even spend on netflix with its very extensive selection of content. the sort of money you could use to pay a whole bill, buy groceries for a week, a month even! as it stands, here in brazil, for now, it's not really feasible. R$312 a year is a ton of money for me and I can't even say I'm struggling financially.

still on this topic, it is really hard not to take this "affordable to anyone and everyone" thing to heart being someone outside of the US, because it is the sort of thing that happens again and again, this sort of americentrism the internet at large seems to be stuck in. when they outright say they view this price as affordable to everyone it's very clear they have not taken international fans into consideration or they just don't really care. if they hadn't said that with so much certainty, maybe I'd feel a little less hurt. and you know, whatever, it's my feelings vs the needs of a company, and companies are not your friends but! ever since the beginning, the relationship between us and them has been very parasocial. lol it's like a good friend of mine said something that hurt my feelings. although maybe that's my own fault for placing them in that role in my head in the first place.

anyway, idk if this makes sense, the goal here isn't even to pick a side or tell anyone they're wrong... as with most things this is just too complicated for that. what I can say is that the way they went about this could have been a lot better. and for now what I am feeling is that this is eventually going to crash and burn but well, I just really hope I'm wrong. they deserve good things.

#i also wanna say thank you to those who offered to pay for me you guys are so cool #but I'm not even sure I'll have time or motivation to blog about travel season or create any content related to it #and if i let any of you pay I'd feel so bad if I ended up not talking about the show here #idk! maybe i sound dumb #please don't come for me i really hope i don't make anyone mad here #watcher

[echobx]

not my type 4 - Rafe Cameron x plus size!fem!reader

summary: y/n has to go work in the OBX a yearafter she last saw Rafe and things take their turns...

warnings: fluff, smut (p in v (unprotected))

word count: 2.5k

author's note: I'm not a fan of what I did here and I wouldn't even feel bad if y'all hated me for it bc it's just shit in my eyes, but I also don't have the capacity to change it or write it anew but I also didn't wanna leave it unfinished. that's all.

part 1 part 2 part 3

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You don't want to move to the OBX, but it's what your father expects of you and it's a promotion. You'll be in charge of the division, hiring new brokers, taking care of business. It’s a huge step forward from all the number pushing you had to do the last year since Florida was opened.  But, just like you predicted, it had been worth it, and now you're supposed to actually bring in good numbers from the island strip.  And on top of that, you are sure that you're over him. A whole year is a long time after all. 

“And the beach is just gorgeous,” you tell your friend Parker, who helped you move. You're both standing in the new office building, looking out of a window, not noticing Rafe's approaching behind you.  “That wholly depends on what side of the island you're on,” Rafe comments, and you turn around to look at him. His polo shirt hugs his muscles perfectly and the shorts sit a bit low. It's in stark contrast to the very formal rosé colored suit you're wearing.  But the worst part of it is that your heart starts fluttering just a little when his blue eyes rake over you.  “We'll find out soon enough,” you hit him back and take Parker's hand, intertwining your fingers, and to your own luck he just goes with it. You had been friends for too long for him to question your moves, and he also knew way too much about what had happened between Rafe and you.  “Good,” Rafe smiles and turns to walk into his office.  “Okay, y/n/n, I get it, but you're also crushing my hand,” Parker laughs lightly, and you let go of him.  “I'm gonna be so okay. Yes. I'll just be okay. Right?” you tell yourself and walk into your office to set it up. 

When you go out for lunch, Rafe simply joins you uninvited. You focus on Parker, on pretending that you're with him, not just because you have to keep your mind from slipping to Rafe. But mostly because you want to know if he's going to be jealous.  And from the way his jaw clenches when you kiss Parker's cheek, it seems to be working. 

However, it's only working for a week, because your friend has to go back home and the moment he's gone you jump headfirst into work. If you won't let your mind rest, it can't think of Rafe. That's your strategy.  It's a flawed one though, because after three weeks of excessive paperwork and hiring new staff, you find your desk empty, nothing left to do. At least not enough to keep you occupied for more than a few hours each day. 

“There's an issue with the Campbell property,” Rafe says while walking into your office, not having knocked. “I thought you might want to look at it before I make a decision.” He hands you the papers, and you look over it, but you can't find any mistakes on it.  “And what's your verdict?” you ask, hoping that it'll help you figure out what might be wrong, because even after reading the notes a third time, you still can't find the problem.  “You work too much,” he shrugs and you drop the paper.  “What?”  “Nothing. It's a numbers issue, see,” Rafe points at the yard size. “They say it's 0.7 acres, but it's actually just below 0.6 acres.” “How do you know that?” “Because I've been to that house. Do you want to risk us getting sued?” he cocks his brow up and you sigh.  “I'll send Darryl to measure it out. Anything else?”  “Your boyfriend isn't around as much as I thought he'd be.” Rafe lets his fingers run over the glass of your desk, and you bite the inside of your cheek to not smile. The small glimpse of jealousy makes your heart skip a beat. It's stupid, really, because you don't know each other, you shouldn't feel like that for a guy you had slept with twice over a year ago. And yet, you still did.  “Parker has his work, and I have mine,” you smile politely.  “I see. Well, the Campbell thing,” Rafe notes before walking out again, and your heart is still pounding like crazy after the small interaction. 

You keep working, trying to keep your distance and he does the same. Only talking when it's really necessary to keep the office out of the reds.  You don't notice that he keeps eyeing you when you're not looking, that he makes sure that the kitchen is always stocked with your favorite snack. And you don't know that he notices how the small packets only ever go missing when you have a rough day or had an unplanned call from your father. And that you dress more so provocatively when you have a showing than when it's just an office day. Or how you strip off your heels when you sit at your desk for more than five minutes. He picks up on all of your little antics, and he doesn't even want to, he's over it just as much as you, but he can't help it either. 

And for the brokers open two months after your start in the OBX he makes sure that the caterer has a non-seafood option alongside the tiny lobster rolls and crab cakes. Because he knows you don't eat it, and he wants to get on your good side again, although he's aware that food won't be the way to do it. 

“Old fashioned?” Rafe holds the glass out for you, and you take it with a hushed “thank you.” “That's what you had the-”  “I remember,” you look up at him, his hair is cut back to a buzz cut, and you don't know if you like it as much. It does accentuate his features though, which isn't a bad thing at all. The sharp nose and high cheekbones, the crooked smile he always greets you with- No, you can't let yourself think of him again. It was hard enough as is, to survive living and working so close to him.  “You look good,” Rafe nods at you, and you don't know what to reply. The short black dress is showing off more than you intended to, but your best friend Claire convinced you to put it on anyway when you called her earlier that day.  “Uhm… thanks,” you mumble and let your eyes run over him, half buttoned shirt and suit pants. He hadn't dressed up at all and the fact that he didn't need to, and your heart was still racing, was speaking volumes. “You clean up nice too,” you tell him and look away again. 

You try mingling, networking a little and gossiping a little less. But when you overhear a broker from a different brokerage talk about Rafe you simply can't stop yourself. The words coming out of her mouth won't add up to the Rafe you know and try to hate.  She talks about dark escapades and less intriguing things but follows them up with a harsh comment on his person. Maybe she is jealous, you choose to believe that rather than what she keeps talking about. There's nothing less believable than all the atrocious things she mentions and yet when you look at yourself in the mirror of the restroom later that night, you think it doesn't matter. Everyone has a past after all.  “He's not like that anymore, right?” you ask yourself quietly after freshening up your lipstick. 

You see Rafe standing at the side, not wanting to talk to anyone, and you start to realize why. You start to understand why he never ate lunch in the kitchen with you or the team.  “Networking is part of the job,” you remind him while placing yourself next to him.  “Not with this folk,” he replies dryly.  “You shouldn't care what they say.” You look up at him and meet his gaze.  “I don't. Do you?”  “I don't think it's possible to do this job if you're not a stone-cold killer at heart.”  He flinches at your wording but he nods. “Are you?”  “Have to.”  “You don't though,” he seems almost sorry, but he turns away again, nipping on his drink.  “Didn't get a choice much,” you mumble absentmindedly. 

“Contradictory,” Rafe huffs a laugh.  “What?”  “You. It's contradictory. You saying you didn't get a choice after telling me you made the choice freely,” he looks at you again, eyes scanning your face.  “Didn’t think you'd remember,” you mutter and turn around, wanting nothing more than to vanish into thin air, but his hand shoots out to grasp your wrist.  “Don't go, please.”  “Why?” you turn around to look at him sternly. “I'm sorry, about all of it,” he apologizes, and let's go again.  “I'm over it,” you lie.  “You're really not,” he whispers and steps closer. “And it's my fault, all of it. I'm sorry, sugar.” 

“Are the stories true? The shit they talk about you behind your back?” you ask and he nods.  “Okay,” you say and he furrows his brows.  “You don't care?”  “Not really. I mean, that was then and now is now. I know the crazy shit people do when they're high,” you shrug, and he looks a bit confused. “And the daddy issues on top of that. I mean, I get it. We've both got our fair share of daddy issues, right?”  “Right,” Rafe drags out the word, he truly didn't expect you to not care about it at all. If anything, he thought you might run again, and the fact that you don't is confusing him.  “Do you wanna get out of here and get hammered?” you whisper, and a grin spreads on your face when he takes your hand and pulls you away. 

That's how you find yourself bent over your own desk, mind hazy and a moaning mess as he fucks you.  “Too much,” you cry but Rafe just laughs. “I know you can take it, baby.” And you know he's right, but you love to be told over and over again.  “You're so good to me. So tight, sugar.”  “Gonna cum,” you moan, and he stops, pulls out and makes you turn around.  “Sit up, pretty girl, and look at me.” You follow the order, sitting up and moving to the very edge of the table before he pulls your legs over his shoulders and enters you again. 

His hand presses down on your stomach and you groan. It's all too much, and he's making it worse, moving to press on your clit with his thumb before drawing harsh circles and your eyes roll back in response.  “Cum for me, baby,” he rasps into a kiss, biting down on your bottom lip when your orgasm rips through you, squeezing him so hard that he can't hold it in anymore and shoots his hot cum into your pulsating core. “Fuck, you're perfect. So hot. Missed you so much,” Rafe pants, still buried deep inside of you and not ready to actually let go.  “Forgot how big it was,” you whisper and feel him twitching inside you. It’s just a silly little note, but it's all he needed to get hard again and fuck you again, not caring about the mess you were making. 

“Bet he's not fucking you like that,” Rafe pants, and you don't know what he's talking about, but you let it slide, too focused on the pleasure he was giving you.  “Mine. All mine,” he rambled, lips attached to your neck, nipping at the skin and leaving a plethora of open-mouthed kisses on it.  “Yours, daddy. All yours,” you moan and hold onto him tighter, pressing yourself against him to try to force him into you deeper.  “Soak me, pretty,” he breathes against your lips, one hand holding your jaw, the other between your legs, rubbing your clit. And his blue eyes are barely visible as he stares into yours.  “Make me,” you hush but scream when he pinches your clit before rubbing it again.  “Don't be a brat, sugar. Come on. Soak daddy's dick,” he grins, drops of sweat running down his toned body, and you swear you'd lick him clean all over if he let you. And when his tongue once again entangles with yours, your eyes roll back and your legs tremble. Screaming at the high he managed to give you and far past it as he fucks you through it and empties his load into you for the second time. 

And the next few weeks you spend the same, pretending like nothing happened while letting him fuck you every single night. You don't want to talk about all the things that you should clearly talk about.  Like the fact that he still believes that you have a boyfriend up in New York, or that he keeps staying longer until he falls asleep next to you, and you don't have the heart to kick him out.  But you groan when you wake up and see him try to get ready as quietly as he can. 

“What are you doing?”  “Didn't mean to wake you, sugar,” Rafe apologizes and leans over you, placing a kiss on your lips.  “Don't go,” you whisper as he hovers over you. “I don't want you to go.”  “Are you sure?” he asks and you nod again. It takes him less than ten seconds to strip himself of his pants and jump back into bed. 

Your head is nuzzled into his neck while you hold onto him, somewhat scared that'll it's just a dream.  “I think you should break up with your boyfriend,” Rafe mumbles.  “Boyfriend?” you pull away with furrowed brows.  “Yeah. Not really fair to him. Not really fair to us,” he doesn't look at you as he says it.  “Us?” It's not that the term itself is confusing to you, but more so the fact that it's coming from him. That he's saying it so casually.  “Yeah. If you didn't have that Parker guy, I could actually take you out, show you off,” he whispers and finally lowers his eyes to see your awestruck face. “What?” 

“You want to date me?”  “I would yes. Is that hard to believe?”  “I'm me, and you're… you,” you answer, but he just kisses you, hoping to smother all your doubts with it. 

“Rafe?” you whisper and he nods. “Parker isn't my boyfriend, I just wanted to make you jealous,” you admit with a whisper and to your surprise he starts laughing. “What's so funny?”  “I didn't even think of that,” he laughs and starts plastering you in kisses. “So smart. So perfect. So pretty,” he says in between kisses.  “Do you really think so?” you ask, and he nods repeatedly, a smile playing on his lips.  “You're so beautiful, y/n.”  “Okay,” you blush and try to hide under the sheets, but he pulls them down to kiss you again and again, and you don't think he'd ever want to stop, and you wouldn't tell him to either. 

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please don't copy and/or post my work onto other platforms! ~e©ho

taglist: @ijustwantttoread @spideysimpossiblegirl @redhead1180 @drwstarkeyy @notdxbya @sublimepenguinpeach-blog @julczimozart

#rafe cameron #obx #rafe cameron x reader #rafe obx #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron smut #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe cameron fanfic #obx fanfiction #~fanfiction #smut #my writing

[starlightshore]

Gotta say, I love how you made so many posts criticizing people who see Chara as an abuser, yet in your own AU you depict them as a cruel, vindictive bully who tries to turn Asriel's family against her, drives her to suicide, then guilt-trips her into getting back together with them. Yet Asriel is somehow the real abuser because she's mad at them for ruining her life. I am by no means a Chara hater, but that seems a little inconsistent.

// CW: discussions of suicide, long post

wow, what an incredibly uncharitable reading of my work! thank you so much!

okay, jokey-positive aside. i shouldn't respond to bad-faith criticism like this because it's not worth my time as it's unlikely you'll actually hear me out in response. I've been online long enough to know you don't feed the trolls.

but, I'm an optimist at heart and I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that you're actually upset with me and do want to have a civil conversation and are not just here to spew hate and drag me down.

Ask Fallen Royalty, the tumblr version wasn't handled the best as it was my first attempt at really trying to write this subject matter and I felt I didn't tackle it as well as I could have. that's something I plan on fixing with the rewrite.

that said, I have never called either of the siblings abusers.

they're flawed, mentally unwell and traumatized young adults/teens who are in no way equipped to handle the situation they were put in.

they both did awful things. Asriel packaged their trauma in a sanitized way for profit and sympathy points believing it'd benefit Monsterkind. they did so without asking Chara for permission. Then later, at Christmas, Asriel abandoned their family to go solo ruling. That's shitty! That's objectively really shitty but it's a very understandable reaction.

Asriel is taught that money is what moves the world and they believe they're soulless and a faker. That if anyone were to know their secret they'd hate them. so prevent that hurt, they cut everyone else out.

That's completely why Chara goes from "oh man I miss Asriel I wish I was good enough to have them beside me again ):" to 180 "Actually screw them for leaving me i hate them for this. i don't deserve to wallow in pain waiting for someone who can't even bother to text me back" them cutting of asriel is an understandable reaction for anyone, let alone a teenager! could they have been more gentle? yeah. could they have tried to fix things? yeah! but they're not a villain for not having the emotional maturity or foresight to handle a complex situation like that. they're like, literally 15/16 at this point of the story

chara also wasn't trying to drive people away from asriel? i really don't know what you're referring to with this aside from Chara deciding to tell the (at the time they believed) truth that Asriel is Flowey. At that point, Chara literally thought Asriel was replaced by Flowey. That they were two different people. That's not to isolate them- its to be honest with the family with this huge news. Toriel is shown not to care that her children are flowers, it would have never mattered to her as we see immediately that Chara is a flower and Toriel doesn't care.

chara also didn't drive Asriel to suicide. that's a blatant misread of the text. It's not that Asriel decided to die right after Chara decided to cut them off. and it's NOT like chara handed them a loaded gun or told them to do anything. all they did was say "don't lie to our family and don't talk to me, i don't want to be friends with you."

Asriel didn't decide to die until they felt their weak support system was breaking down. Yun wanted to be with Mew Mew, the Band broke up (Shyren, Napstablook and most recently Mew Mew quit), they made a big stupid movie that they hate (the epitome of their fake narrative on the silver screen), and because they ditched the premiere to check on chara (who was missing) their agents are pissed off.

Mew Mew then talks about how troubled Flowey/Asriel is and how being a secret flower hurt their social life. (The relationship with Flora being a strong example) like, Flowey always sabotages or loses those they care about because everyone else has their own life and they don't open themselves to create connections that last because they're running away. it's the culmination of everything going wrong that drives them to that point.

plus, it's hammered home later in Flowey's introspection that they feel horribly guilty for their actions as Flowey. parading as their perfect King when they secretly killed a majority of mosnterkind and did who knows what else is like. majorly fucked up.

i'm unsure if you forgot or chose to ignore the larger narrative or what's happened, but these things are in the story. they're both messed up individuals who have a hard time communicating their feelings -Chara literally brings up having emotional dysregulation disorder and CPTSD in the epilogue. Asriel's imposter syndrome and-gestures to Flowey) is also a clear indication that they've got some fundamental mental health issues that prevent them from understanding themselves and others.

it's a story about broken people who lash out against each other but ultimately come together in love.

they care so so deeply for each other! they're family. messing up (especially as children, teenagers etc) doesn't mean you shouldn't be written off as disposable. you're ALL capable of fucking up severely but you have the chance to grow and better yourself. you owe it to those who are willing to give that chance to do better. that's what the story has always been about.

I will admit that I plan on working on the pacing and giving chara more sweet moments so it doesn't come across as harsh -I don't want either sibling to be seen as a "villain" or """""abusive"""" as you call them. Except, yeah, Asriel is meant to be seen as an antagonist for a brief while, but that's set up Chara to come to that realization just the same as the audience should.

i hope this helped you understand what i was going for. if you wanna talk further I don't mind, but please talk to me as a real person. we're on the same page that abuse is bad. that people shouldn't treat each other so horribly. i don't excuse either of the character's interactions but i want to show empathy and understanding and that they can grow past that. i sincerely hope we can come to a shared perspective. if you wanna, i'd love to talk about i can make this message more clear, i'd love some proper criticism! i hope you have a lovely day and that you please be more considerate to how you to talk to others as I could have very easily read this anon hate/trolling.

#personal stuff #sams replies #discussion of death #discussion of suicide #ask to tag #long post

[spenglersweetheart]

heyyy! i know it’s kind of cliche and a little boring but could you do something where the reader gets hurt (like falls and scrapes up her knees) and egon cleans her up but the whole time there’s a lot of yknow… tension in the room, and they get really close and they kiss and get freaky.

also i love your writing you’re really talented 💋

i can try and make it work !! also thank you sm 🥹 i'm so glad you like my writing !! <33

─────────────── ✦ ───────────────

Wounds and Tension

Egon Spengler x Reader

WARNINGS : indications of nsfw stuff (but not full smut)

─────────────── ✦ ───────────────

YOU PRETTY MUCH CRIED OUT WHEN EGON POURED THE hydrogen peroxide onto your wound. It was a long gash on the arm, and you had got it while you were on a call with the boys. Ghost managed to get you good before Egon caught it. It was looked like your forearm was severely cut open, but it was nothing too major. You didn't need stitches, which to you, was absolutely great.

But you couldn't help but to cry out, tears falling down your face as Egon tried to help you with the wound. You couldn't help it. It hurt that much. You were sitting on one of the couches at the Firehouse while Egon was helping you. You let out another yelp when you feel the burning again.

"I know, I know," Egon said softly, "But I gotta do this."

"I know," you say back, "But it just hurts. It hurts so much."

You've gotten scrapes, cuts, and bruises before, but they didn't hurt as bad as this one. This one was a different breed. You knew it wouldn't heal for a while. So you were prepared to be uncomfortable once Egon would put the bandage on.

You watch him. He's so close to you. The thought of it almost makes you flustered. Maybe it was the tears thinking for you, but he just looks so good just tending to your wound. You obviously didn't know why you were thinking this way at the moment. But, it wasn't like you didn't think of him and ways you shouldn't have.

Egon looked at you every now and again to make sure that you're okay. You had stopped crying, and you hadn't really said anything since you told him that the wound hurt.

Both of you could feel the tension in the room. You knew Egon could feel it, because he awkwardly shifted from time to time. But you brushed it off as him being uncomfortable because he was knelt down beside you.

He finished cleaning your wound up, finally wrapping the bandage a couple times on your forearm where the scar was.

"There ..." He says quietly, "Does that feel okay?"

You give a small nod. "A little uncomfortable, but it's nothing I can't handle," you answer with a chuckle, "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he replied.

There was a silence between you two. You said nothing to each other. You thought about just putting your lips on his. Just once. But, by the time you had even thought to do such a thing, he kissed you.

But you didn't even question it. You kissed back. You felt your heart flutter in your chest as you kissed him.

You were hesitant, but you put his arms around his neck. And that was like a signal for Egon, because you felt his hands on your waist, slightly pulling you closer to him.

It was a sweet kiss that eventually turned into a makeout session. You feel both his hands start to wander. "Is that okay?"

You give him a nod. "Mhm," you hum in approval.

He gives you another kiss. Eventually you feel one of his hands between your legs. You didn't mind, though. Between that, and the neck kisses, a breath moan escapes from your lips.

"Should we take this elsewhere?" Egon asked

"We should," you answer breathlessly.

He immediately pulls you up. Your own hand gripped onto his as you go into a private place within the Firehouse.

Let's just say the rest of the boys wouldn't let you live it down when they found a mark on the side of your neck.

#ghostbusters #egon spengler x reader #egon x reader #spence's small fics #satans-neice-13

[wheels-of-despair]

Live A Little | A Worth It AU | Ralph Penbury x You | Masterlist

In This Edition: You and Ralph venture out of your cabin! Words: 1.3k

You wake to the sound of angry whispers.

"It's not proper!"

"Those kids have been through Hell together!"

"They're not married!"

Ralph's eyes open. You hold your breath and listen closely, watching each other beneath the covers and not daring to move a muscle.

"And?"

"And it's despicable! Having to share a room with… with…"

"With my niece, and the boy who saved her life?"

"I thought you said his sister was on board! Send him there, or back to the lounge!"

"My girl wouldn't leave that boy to get on a boat and save her own life, and you think she's going to let him go because you said so?"

A proud smile spreads across your face. You knew Aunt Molly would always be on your side.

"Ugh!" The other woman groans in frustration, and you hear the door open.

"If you think for one minute that I'm--" Molly shuts the door, and your eavesdropping is abruptly cut off.

"She's got it wrong," Ralph whispers. "You're the one who saved me."

"Aunt Molly is never wrong," you smile.

"Then perhaps we'll have to agree to disagree."

"That won't do," you argue, reaching out to cup the side of his face. "Because we saved each other."

You're already close, but you both move your faces forward just a tiny bit for a kiss.

The door closes again.

"Food's here, kids! I let you sleep through dinner last night, but I draw the line at missing breakfast."

Aunt Molly sits on her bed and tells you about how the other survivors are being treated by the generous crew and passengers of the Carpathia while you eat, but you find it hard to concentrate. You do notice that she makes no mention of the argument with her roommate… whose few possessions have disappeared.

Molly leaves again when you've finished eating, and you and Ralph return to bed. You've never been so exhausted in your life. You're grateful for your tiny bed, and the boy you're sharing it with.

There are no windows in your cabin. The only marker of time is whispered words on well-timed bouts of consciousness with Ralph. You remember getting up to eat once more, and to visit the lavatory. You have a vague memory of Molly suggesting that you switch beds, now that Hettie had found other accommodations, and guiding you and Ralph to the slightly larger mattress.

You'd continue to sleep inches apart anyhow.

"Should we go find Victoria?" you ask, during one of those rare occasions you're both awake at the same time.

"No," Ralph sighs. "I don't want to see her."

"I don't want to see anyone but you," you breathe.

"Likewise," he says.

And then you both drift off again.

"I can't stop dreaming about it," Ralph admits another time.

You know exactly what he's talking about. It haunts you too.

"What would you like to dream about?" you ask.

"You," he answers.

"Perhaps if we concentrate on happier things, we'll dream about them?"

"It's worth a try," Ralph sighs. "I want to see snow. Real snow, not just a flurry. I want to be in a warm house, with you, looking out the window at the falling snow. At Christmastime."

"That sounds wonderful," you smile, closing your eyes and trying to picture it. "I'll make us hot cocoa... we can bake cookies… maybe it'll be so hot, we'll have to take our clothes off…"

"Mm…" Ralph hums.

You both drift off again, hoping to experience the romantic scene you've set instead of the horrifying vision of the sea swallowing an unsinkable ship.

It's not until after dinner, delivered by Molly, that you feel truly awake again. Your aches have subsided. Your brain isn't foggy anymore. Your body still wants to remain in bed, however, so you lie there on your back next to Ralph, looking at the ceiling.

"I think I'll enjoy being on solid ground again," you muse.

Ralph doesn't respond. You turn your head to see a worried expression on his face.

"Ralph? Are you alright?"

"Do you still want to marry me?

His question makes your heart stop. Is he having second thoughts? You turn your gaze back to the ceiling, rather than stare at him in fear.

"Of course I do, Ralph. Do you still want to marry me?"

"Absolutely, but… do you think your parents will allow it?"

"I'd like to see them try and stop us," you respond without even having to think about it.

Ralph looks taken aback by your comment.

"I love you, Ralph Penbury," you smile, squeezing his hand and gazing at him in adoration. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Whether it's an hour or a lifetime, I want it to be with you. And I don't give a damn what anyone else has to say about it."

Ralph's eyes begin to water. He leans over for a kiss. It starts sweet, but soon turns desperate. Passionate. Something you haven't felt up to in days.

"I'm so happy I met you," he breathes.

"So am I," you smile, cupping his jaw and staring into his beautiful eyes. You can't imagine spending another day without him.

"Let's do it," you suggest.

"Do what?"

"Let's get married."

"Have we not just established we're going to?" he asks.

"Now."

"Now?"

"Let's get married now," you clarify. "They can't object if it's already done."

"Do you mean it?"

You nod.

"But… weddings take months to plan."

"Do you want to wait months, Ralph?"

His brow furrows, and you can see him weighing his options.

"You'd be willing to forego the dress, and the flowers, and the church? Your family being present? All those traditions? For me?"

"I don't need any of that, Ralph," you smile. "All I need is you."

"Are you sure?"

"Ralph, please don't think that I'm trying to pressure you into this. We don't have to do this if you don't want to. We're both tired and hazy still. If you want to--"

"No," he interrupts. "Are you sure you want me?"

The unsure look on his face pains you. How can he not see that he's your entire world? You lean forward for a deep kiss.

"Now who's mad?" you ask, pulling back with a smile. You cradle his face in your hands. "Of course I want you, Ralph. You're the only one I've ever wanted. And I'll still want you tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after that. We don't have to do this now, if you're not ready. I'll wait forever for you."

Ralph stares at you for a moment, then laughs.

"I love you," he says, leaning over to pepper your face with kisses.

"I love you too, Ralph," you giggle, lying helplessly under his attack.

"Well, my love, shall we find ourselves a minister?" he asks when he finishes.

You grin and roll out of bed. You visit the lavatories and fix yourselves up the best you can, and set off in search of a holy man. A steward directs you to the person you're looking for.

You had no idea a wedding could happen so quickly. All the ones you'd attended back home had taken months to plan, like Ralph said. Hundreds of guests, many of whom the bride and groom probably didn't even like. Thousands spent on venues and decorations and dinner for hundreds. So much commotion, the people it was for barely had time to speak to each other.

And then there was this. A quiet ceremony in a dark corner of a ship's library, days after an event that would surely be one for the history books. In the clothes you'd been wearing for days. No fanfare at all; just you, the man you love, and the man reading scripture who would happily sign the necessary papers for a young couple who chose love in the face of tragedy.

It was perfect.

#writings of despair #ralphtanic #ralph penbury #ralph penbury x you #ralph penbury x reader #ralph timewasters

[canisalbus]

Vasco and Machete are absolutely adorable, your style is so lovely and you draw the softest beds I’ve ever seen in any art ever

.

#thank you! #softest beds is a whole new compliment that's so sweet #let me go off on a weird and personal tangent for a minute #I've always found the concept of sleeping very touching somehow #it's this mandatory resting period literally everyone has to plan their life around no one has the power to avoid sleeping #if you neglect it your mind and body start to break down very quickly #sleep is such a neutral state of being no one is particularly sad or happy or evil or good while they're asleep they're just logged off #sleeping feels nice it's rejuvenating it's one of the few universal pleasures every single person has an access to #and I find it terribly cute how people have different little bedtime rituals #socks on socks off various pillow and blanket arrangements certain sounds that make them sleepy etc #and sleeping next to someone is such an act of trust #it's extremely intimate as is sex doesn't necessarily have to factor into it #getting comfortable and going unconscious with someone at the same place at the same time that just touches my heart #especially if you're invited into their bed which is a very private space a person's own little nest where the world can't reach them #even if you fall asleep in public transport there's this vulnerability to it and for the most part people respect the sanctity of sleep #and tend to leave sleeping people alone at least in my limited experience #I like drawing my characters sleeping because it feels like I'm doing them a favor granting them a little respite #anonymous #answered

[depoteka]

and seeing all the articles lately that are like "could russia invade poland in the next couple of years?" is so disheartening

#i can't believe we have to live in constant fear #while also being scared reading news from our own neighbouring country already at war #meanwhile people in other countries go like 'well if they invade poland then i'm not gonna fight just because our army is understaffed lmao #which is something i saw on some meme page #and i was wondering why this person's first thought wasn't 'sounds really scary that another country could get invaded' #but instead 'let's google how to dodge the draft' #eh so much i could say but my heart is really sad

[celestial-sapphicss]

something really sweet happened today and i wanted to share!

so in my college (it's a 2 years course), the 1st year students of the club im in threw us a farewell party, and we were completely blown away! they all had prepared speeches for us and got us personalized gifts, it was all so sweet i almost cried! and since im also one of the heads of the club, i felt so proud and emotional!

last year, we had the worst toxic seniors to the point that i had mental breakdowns because of them, and had vowed to create a safe environment for the new students and im really happy we could do that 🥹

#vi.txt #personal #AAAAAAAA MY HEART IS SO FULLL #i had worked so hard for this club and it opened up so many new things for me and it made me come out of my shell im gonna miss it so much #since my college started in the online mode the friends i made were not who i thought they were they completely changed in the offline mode #but since everyone already had their own core groups i was stuck and its anyways difficult for me to make new friends #because when i bond its kinda all or nothing for me so i just kept holding on hope that things would get better with time but GAAAAAH #but the 2 of the girls i was closest to turned out to be quasi pick me girls #they went on to include bigoted homophobic boys in the group which made me so uncomfortable #and they did that despite the fact that they knew im queer and when i pointed it out they didn't really acknowledge me ugh #anyways the point is this club would be my safe place as i like all the people in it #it kinda put me on the spotlight as well and expanded my circle!!!! #and while i can't wait for my student life to be over i will miss this club a lot and im kinda sad to let it go!!!! #im so happy it meant even a little as much to the juniors as it meant to me 🥹 #this is why i was awol all day and im v tipsy rn so ill reply and rb and everything tomorrow!!!!! #i hope y'all are having a good day 💌

[theorderofthetriad]

honestly i think the only reason i don't seek out content about Izzy Hands and Calico Jack as a ship is because if i get invested in yet another ship with two characters that never interact onscreen my brain will actually break.

#sorry this is going into the izzy hands tag solely for my own filing purposes not bc i need izzy hands fans to see this post #i cannot let myself think too hard about them because i will actually break my own damn heart over lack of canon content of them interactin #I CAN'T DO IT AGAIN I'M NOT STRONG ENOUGH #it's just that two of my otps are characters that haven't interacted. and let me tell you that is HARD. #i'm not signing up for this ship i WON'T you cAN'T MAKE ME!!!!! #*calls them 'sentimental bastards' anyways...* #but yeah currently my number 1 OTP is two characters that have never met in the 60 years they've both existed in the same canon #and the OTP i've been devoted to the longest is two characters who never interacted but DID stand next to each other for a brief moment #and cjizzy is technically leagues ahead of those because ofmd canon says they have interacted #but we the audience didn't get to see that so it's :((((( #santagno #izzy hands

[the-busy-ghost]

Knowing very little about clothing construction beyond the basics of how to hand sew in a straight(ish) line, combined with machine made fast fashion garments that fall apart easily, means it takes me waaaay longer to fix a button or a ripped pocket than it really should

#Everything's always hidden by something else #I'm not undoing an entire lining just to get at the back of a button so yes this piece of clothing now will never sit right I'll live #Also my dad's stuff is mostly tennis clothing and WHY IS THERE SO MUCH MESH #WHY IS THERE ALWAYS MESH STUFF OVER EVERYTHING THERE DOESN'T NEED TO BE #I can't fix a pocket because there's mesh in front of it #And the pocket was already going to be a bugger because it's that awful stretchy wafer thin sporty material #That rips if you so much as look at it #I don't know enough about clothes for this I just want to salvage a perfectly good coat or pair of shorts #I understand hiding the constituent parts of a piece of clothing if it's good quality but if you haven't sewed the buttons on properly #Why the hell did you even bother covering them up I shouldn't have to do open heart surgery on a cheap jacket #Rule number 1 should really be if it's poorly made it should be easy to access the bits to fix it #But that would be too much #Obviously this is not the machinist's fault they're doing their best at probably shit wages and again they have a machine #Something which I am too scared of to even use let alone buy #But it frustrates me #I have to fix all this by hand it takes time I can't just rip out a lining for a button #Literally the only thing I own that doesn't make me want to rip my own arm off when attempting to fix are denim dungarees #Like the only piece of women's clothing that are easy to repair and even better if I do a shit job it's still fine because they're dungarees #They're sort of supposed to look patchy and worn