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#because it hurt so bad
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Why does it take so many muscles to cough?? Why does it hurt my back when I cough?? My lungs and esophagus are not connected to my back, right?? Are they?? Would I remember if they were?? Did I pay attention to anatomy lessons in school?? Did I have anatomy lessons in school??
Damn. Curse you sciatica for affecting my brain too. Is there anything I'm allowed to have while you're hanging around like a bad smell??
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barghest-land · 2 months
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ata tu corazón, mi amor, y arrástralo por la tierra
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 2 months
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Laios's three Boy Best Friends. And yes, they hate him.
#dungeon meshi#laios touden#toshiro nakamoto#chilchuck tims#kabru#BF in this context could be boyfriend or best friend. The line is so blurry.#Chilchuck less so but whatever is going on between Shuro and Laios & Kabru and Laios is giving strong:#“dude if you were a girl I'd date the hell out of you”. And from the genderswap extra's that sentiment is canon for BOTH.#This was made prior to the translation of the Laios & Kabru & Shuro restaurant date comic and honestly I am just feeling vindicated.#I don't even know what to call this dynamic other than a situationship. There is so much going on between all of them.#Even on a purely platonic reading - the miscommunication and male yearning for friendship hurt so bad.#When we got the Big Hug scene in the epilogue arc I was whooping and hollering! Pure catharsis moment!#I also don't like hugs very much so I really felt it went Shuro ('hates being touched') went in for the bear hug.#Do not get me started on the agony of 'always lying' Kabru telling the truth (I just wanted to be friends)#and 'always believes' Laios thinking it's another lie and brushing him off.#I am once again supporting dungeon meshi day by posting art. Please watch dungeon meshi.#obligatory edit because I’m tired: YES. Chilchuck cares for Laios and him admitting it was a huge part of his arc#YES he is more just fed up with him that actually hating him.#I needed a third guy to be canonically done with his ass for the THREE WEED SMOKING GIRLFRIENDS reference
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bloominglegumes · 6 months
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our large bipedal son who we found on the street
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ruporas · 9 months
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nightmares
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temeyes · 8 months
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my carpal tunnel's been acting up, have this 141 dood for now <3
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ineffable-endearments · 7 months
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When you (generic, universal) talk about theories about the end of Season 2 and Aziraphale going to Heaven, you often run up against either:
taking everything at face value to the point of ignoring that some details contradict one another
or
accidentally nullifying major emotional, plot, and character beats by implying that they Didn't Really Happen.
A lot of the differences in analyses, especially ones that I like (LOL), can be explained by the fact that we're analyzing a character who is experiencing massive cognitive dissonance and believes a number of contradictory things at once.
Nobody is wrong to point out Aziraphale's need to Belong to a Good Cause, which makes his acceptance of the Supreme Archangel position entirely in-character; nobody is wrong to point out Aziraphale's anxiety around the Metatron, which indicates that he may have been coerced.
Did Aziraphale go back to Heaven because he's afraid of what will happen if he keeps refusing, or because the Metatron made an implicit threat? Did he go back to Heaven because he's vulnerable to flattery and wants to feel important? Did he go back to Heaven because he thought it would be a way to be permanently safe with Crowley? Or did he go back because he missed belonging to something Good, something bigger than himself? All of the above. It's all of them.
Yes, even though it's incredibly dissonant to believe a system that he KNOWS is dangerous and coercive can accomplish true Goodness, that is in fact his belief.
Admittedly, this is no one I follow - just random comments I see around from people I don't know very well - but it seems like some people out there are assuming Aziraphale can't possibly be making any plans to do anything remotely intelligent, because this would mean that he is already aware that Heaven is bad and would therefore leave no room for character growth.
Except no, that's not necessarily what it means. In fact, the cognitive dissonance is the main thing he is going to have to resolve. Having that dissonance - the belief that Heaven's ideals are genuine, along with the understanding that Heaven is dangerous and needs to be carefully manipulated - is what will move his plot forward. Mindless obedience wouldn't progress his story any more than magic brainwashing coffee would, and it would be equally inconsistent with his story and motivations so far.
The dissonance is the point. And part of the dissonance is that he already knows Heaven is dangerous - he just hasn't accepted what that means yet. It would make sense for him to simultaneously try to work within Heaven's system and watch his own back.
Also, only partly related: Neil might write a story about how the worst people exploit the need to belong and to be Good. He might write a story about how we have to become our own greater good. He might write a story about how to rebuild after you discover your greater good is not so great or good after all. He is not going to write a story about how having any faith or trust in something objectively bigger and stronger than yourself makes you a stupid clown who is wrong about literally everything and shouldn't have even tried.
Let Aziraphale fuck up. He needs to and he will. Whatever plans he was making in that elevator won't actually succeed. But give him credit where it's due.
Edited to add: And you know what? When he fucks up, he's going to get through it. And then he's going to do the right thing. And he's going to get it right when it matters the most.
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kingkatsuki · 5 months
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More fic ideas that I have absolutely no intention of writing.
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Knight Bakugou who’s positioned to guard you. The King wants the best to protect his Princess, and Bakugou is the best. Besides, it’s not like the man had a choice, he doesn’t want to lose his job— or his life.
You hate to admit that Bakugou is good at his job, much better than the men that had tried to guard you before. Making it difficult for you to sneak out into the gardens in the evening to watch the stars, or to sneak into town for the weekend festivities.
You should hate him for ruining the routine you’d managed to work yourself into over the years, for stealing away the freedom that you’d rewarded yourself when no one else would offer you the same luxury. But somehow you can’t force yourself to dislike him, there’s something behind his cold and brash personality that has you inquisitive to find out more. Enjoying trying your best to rile him up or push his buttons— spilling your evening tea over his pristine boots, or dropping your towel in front of him when you prepare for your evening bath.
Knight Bakugou knows exactly what you’re trying to do, and he’s determined he won’t fall for your tricks— which is why he’s just as surprised as you are when he finds himself outside with you past curfew in the castle grounds watching the stars. But instead of staring up at the gorgeous night sky, he finds himself turning his head to the side to see how the moonlight glows against your skin. It’s just another thing that has now woven its way into your daily routine together, and as he walks you back to your quarters each night you like to fool yourself that it’s because he wants to, not because his life depends on it.
It isn’t long before the King begins to bring in suitors from neighbouring towns to vie for your hand in marriage. None of which are out of love, but a necessity to strengthen alliances between armies. Which is why it doesn’t matter if you even like any of them, because the choice won’t be yours. The men are scheduled to fight for your hand, and as you sit and wait for them to joust you notice Bakugou clad in full metal armour across the field.
The King positioned him as his strongest guard— because he is.
A man worthy enough to beat his strongest soldier is a man worthy enough to take his daughters hand in marriage. And yet as you watch every man come head to head with Bakugou he beats every single one.
And you think Bakugou has just beat these men because he wants to show how strong and powerful he is, but secretly it’s because he’s so in love with you.
You can’t tell whether your father is proud or annoyed at the fact, especially when Bakugou knocks the son, young Midoriya, off his horse. The man that you believed the King wanted to you marry, the most suitable alliance available.
It’s a few weeks later when Bakugou is sent away on a mission by the King. The head of an army sent out to pillage a neighbouring village who threaten to compromise the power of you’ve forged.
The morning he’s scheduled to leave is the first time he lets you kiss him, he lets you get that close. As though he’s wondering whether he’ll even return home himself. Standing in his quarters in the lower part of the castle, clad in your pyjamas and your feet freezing against the cold stone as he cradles you in his arms. Pouring every ounce of emotion into the kiss as he finally allows himself to have you, even if just for a few selfish moments. Bakugou reckons it’s worth the risk of dying, to feel your lips on his again. A fellow guard, Kirishima catches you both as he takes Bakugou away from you— watching them ride off on horseback as you still feel the warmth of him surrounding you.
You stay awake each night wondering whether he’s even still alive too— whether you’ll ever see him again. The new guards are just as useless as before and you find yourself longing for his safe return.
It’s two months before your father has another man lined up as a potential suitor. Wondering who might fight for your honour now that Bakugou is gone, but you’re shocked when the King says there’s no need for such friviolity. That the wedding is scheduled, and it’s the right reason to strengthen the Kingdom. It’s not for love, it could never be when your heart belongs to Bakugou.
And even if you told your father about your feelings for his guard, it would be issuing Bakugou his own death sentence if he even managed to make it home at all.
But fate really can be a cruel, fickle thing— and as fate would have it Bakugou returns home the day you’re standing at the altar wearing a pretty wedding dress like you’d dreamed about, while you’re waiting to be betrothed to another man.
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keferon · 1 month
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I jUST LEARNED
Megatron and Orion Pax meeting for the first time:
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And then. When Future Megs talking to Past Orion in mtmte#36
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mostly-natm · 19 days
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When you contradict literally everything you believe in to avoid telling your morally dubious brother the truth.
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celluloidbroomcloset · 4 months
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It's interesting that Izzy is the one who sees Ed's attraction to Stede first. Yes, Izzy is the closest to Ed, and he pays a lot of attention to Ed because that's part of his job. But it's clear from his voiceover at the start of "Art of Fuckery," and what happens with his character subsequently, that he's watching Ed very carefully for signs that he's slipping out of his Blackbeard persona, and more broadly, out of the performative masculinity that Izzy believes is the mark of a real man.
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A lot has been said about Izzy's internalized homophobia, but it's a very complicated kind of homophobia - he doesn't fit the trope of the closeted gay man using homophobia to cover his sexuality. Izzy has no apparent problem with homosexuality - as Calico Jack says, it's more or less expected at sea. The form of his homophobia has more to do with gender presentation and sexual roles, not the concept of gay sex or attraction.
The two men on the Revenge he has the most immediate conflicts with are Lucius and Stede. To him, neither of them perform masculinity correctly, and both of them, in their own ways, refuse to participate in the masculine hierarchy he's steeped in.
Izzy's problem clicks for Lucius immediately, because Lucius is an out gay man who has undoubtedly met men like Izzy before. He's not ashamed of his sexuality or his presentation of it, and so he defies the hierarchy by explicitly refusing to participate.
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Stede is more complicated because he's not out at all. Izzy calls Stede a "ponce" and a "fop," but neither word would necessarily imply that Stede's gay; being a fop is not equivalent to sexuality (though in "Act of Grace," Izzy's emphasis makes it clear that "twat" is standing in for a much stronger word). It is Stede's presentation of masculinity, his effeminacy, that Izzy finds repellent. Stede's not a "real pirate" (read: a real man). The idea that Ed - the man's pirate and the pirate's man - would be seduced by him upends Izzy's worldview and is something he feels he must put a stop to.
At the start of the "Art of Fuckery," Izzy's realization that Stede has "seduced" Ed is immediately followed by the stabbing scene, which Izzy overhears. I'm still not clear if we're meant to think that Izzy believes they're actually having sex on the deck, but regardless, it confirms the "seduction" for him.
This is the one clear time that we see things filtered through Izzy's perspective, with the episode literally starting with his voiceover. He's horrified by what he hears on deck, and the obvious sexuality connected to it, and he immediately insists that Ed kill Stede.
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This is not a subtle show. The stabbing on deck is explicitly sexualized. Not only is Ed being "stabbed" by another man, he's being stabbed by an effeminate man. In Izzy's reading of the world, there are men who penetrate and men who are penetrated, men who dominate and men who are dominated, and those roles are aligned with masculine presentation. It would be fine for Ed to be stabbed by Calico Jack, a properly masculine man who understands the masculine hierarchy, but not by Stede.
Stede defies Izzy's categorizations by quite literally not understanding the role he's supposed to play in the first place. Stede's not humiliated by his shirt being cut off in "A Damned Man"; he says that he quite enjoyed it. Izzy's threats go right over his head in "A Gentleman Pirate" - he can't even remember Izzy's name. It doesn't occur to him to be scared or humiliated. He further upends Izzy's reading by treating Ed kindly. Ed can't bring himself to fulfill his role in the masculine hierarchy by killing (stabbing) Stede, and Stede sits down and offers him gentleness.
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Stede throws Izzy's concept of masculinity out of whack by being an effeminate man who penetrates, a fop who seduces a "real man," and whom Ed sees no shame in asking to stab him. He's too fluid for Izzy to get a hold of. He doesn't just not participate in the performance of masculinity that Izzy wants from him; he doesn't even know that there's a performance going on.
Later in the episode, it's Izzy who stabs Stede, pinning him to the mast and re-establishing the masculine hierarchy - Stede is the one to be penetrated by a "real pirate." Then Stede just...breaks his sword. He did it on purpose. Izzy is effectively emasculated, but Stede doesn't even know it. He just knows that he "did it right."
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What has thrown Izzy off is Stede's lack of participation in the masculine hierarchy. He doesn't know the rules that Izzy has been controlled by, and so he's not "doing it right." Being penetrated isn't inherently shameful. Penetrating isn't inherently about dominating or gaining power over. Stede's face when he stabs Ed is simply one of concern, because he's hurt him. He's not getting a sexual thrill out of harming Ed, and penetration doesn't equal power for him. Stede throws everything Izzy thinks he knows about masculinity overboard simply by existing.
(I think I've got more to say about how this all shifts in Season 2, and why that's so important to Izzy's arc, but I done wrote enough for now.)
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shepscapades · 2 months
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Hey! i’m really into the dbch story and i was wondering if doc and xisuma ever tell bdubs the specifics of why etho lost his memories, cause if they do that is prime self blaming angst for bdubs
I’m inclined to believe they don’t. Actually (and maybe I should do a small comic for this so more people see it) I imagine, once a month or a few pass and they finally return etho to bdubs as reset, I imagine they are VERY serious about warning bdubs not to try to force Etho to re-deviate— they don’t go into specifics, but they probably tell bdubs that whatever happened had to do with something that was emotionally overwhelming, and that forcing him to redeviate/not letting it happen naturally could trigger the same error. They have no idea what could happen so bdubs needs to be very careful and let Etho find himself again on his own.
Whether or not bdubs gets impatient or can only go so long before he doubts it would be that bad if he tried pushing Etho in the right direction is another story.
But yeah. I don’t think Xisuma or Doc really… tell anyone that this happened. Etho’s error seemed like a very specific one-off scenario, so it’s not something the other hermits should be trying to avoid or be careful about happening to their own android friends, and the only thing telling people would do is make them worried about the situation. All they need to know is that etho was broken and that they need to be careful with him. I don’t agree with their decision to keep what happened to themselves but I understand it I think. Xisuma “i don’t want to worry the hermits” Void and Docm “eh this isn’t the first time I’ve replaced this arm, people won’t question it” 77
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dayurno · 2 months
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this is somewhat of a vent post & something i said i would not do again but has been plaguing me enough that i think getting it out might feel better. so. has anydoggy else been. Baffled and upset by nora sakavic’s refusal to speak on how terribly aftg has treated its characters of color? with the author of the series coming back with a new book and starting up on her online activity again, and questions of what she’d change about aftg bubbling up, it’s particularly glaring to me that we are all playing this very long game of pretend where we ignore how badly the non-white cast has been treated & her lack of thoughts on it
and i understand not wanting to bring up nicky and thea because people pick on her for it. i’m not trying to discredit nora sakavic’s terrible history of getting harrassed online by aftg fans. but i think it is very cynical, and it is very juvenile, and most of all very cruel, that she gets to ignore the very real ways the books have set up these characters to be hated. i think it’s obvious why the characters who get the most hate are the only canonical characters of color, and i think we do not get to treat this like a deliberate decision on the fandom’s part when the books have put these same characters in degrading and embarrassing and terrible positions in the first place. aftg is not a story about nice characters with clean pasts, but there is a very specific nastiness to the only characters of color being a brown man who sexually harasses and later assaults the main character, a black woman whose only scene is her lashing out at her love interest after being ignored for the first two books, and the japanese villain who gets maybe two lines of complexity before he goes back to being a terrible person. the white cast, in comparison, while not at all free from flaws, are never shown to commit mindless evil; all of their actions are ultimately justified. the book goes out of its way to give them concession after concession. we know exactly who to side with, because aftg tells us who these people are. does nicky’s assault ever get addressed in the books? does riko’s reasoning to be the way that he is ever gets more than briefly aluded to? is thea reserved even a shred of humanity or grace in her one scene?
anyway. it’s been years of talking about this and the fandom has been constantly hostile to criticism in this regard, and more recently any criticism at all, and it’s Grating to be on the other side of this discussion. it’s exhausting to know that in ten years we do not get even an acknowledgment besides the author saying she will not answer questions about nicky and thea anymore. it’s upsetting and it’s ugly and i wish no one had to talk about this again, but we do because what i thought was common sense has been washed away by a sudden influx of no-nuance adoration for the trilogy. basically i hope we all explode
two hours later edit: you're allowed to reblog this! sorry about the confusion
#this has been so upsetting to notice but 🥹whatever#there is a different kind of bitterness to thinking about how ten years have passed#and we are getting new content that changes and maybe even rectifies many of the ways we see and interact w aftg#and none of it not a bit of it addresses the racism#how it’s been ten years and the only thing we really get to show it is a book about a ship between two white men the fandom came up with#after seeing them be Suggested to interact in canon#i understand not wanting to hurt nora sakavics feelings by asking her about this#but imagine how tired we are. Imagine how tired we are#do you know how bad it feels to read through nicky’s worst moments in aftg#and know that he was written this way because he looks like me?#do you understand how exhausting it all is. can you imagine?#the fandom has been so quick to undo the criticism fans of colors have been making since day one#and for what. for what! my doves. for what?#have we come out of it any greater? have we done anything but lie to ourselves?#and anyway this is not some mindless pessimism#this is not me telling you that aftg is bad and you cant love it; cant have it mean anything to you#this is me saying that when we acknowledge these things it makes us better readers and better people#nora sakavic if you are reading this from whatever hellhole america you find yourself in#grabs you by the shoulders. This is not the end#this is not something to sit back and feel bad about#you have opened the floodgates of hell with tsc. kick the door in and release a revised version of aftg#there is a real material way for you to make this better. it is possible and it will not kill you#i would read a revised aftg. my mutuals would. many many many many fans would#making mistakes is not just a human right its a human inevitability#but we do not have to let ourselves get defined by them. We can do hard things#lets go of nora sakavics shoulders. anyway. where were we#aftg#txt#tsc
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 3 months
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Bare skin, bare feelings.
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plinthfield · 9 months
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avisaurea2 · 11 months
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The Human among The Celestials. Not fitting anywhere, but nonetheless giving meaning to everything.
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