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#because im the only one who tries to hold her accountable for her actions
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AITA for "causing a stain on a marriage" and ruining a honeymoon?
Hey everyone! This is a separate AITA issue, but also technically an update idk if that's allowed.
I'm the one who asked AITA for telling my hairdresser the truth.
I (25f) had a friend D (31m). He married an 18f recently. I do want to clarify something I said in the last post because I saw in responses I didn't write it out clearly. I do NOT approve of minors dating adults. I do NOT approve of 18-21 year olds dating people way older then them. If I, a 25 year old, wanted to date someone older with that same age gap, that would be fine. That's what I meant when I said I typically didn't have an issue with age gaps, but I realized I didn't write that well.
Anyways onto the reason I sent this in:
I saw D in person. Him and his...wife... have been married for a bit now. Anyways, I was trying to avoid him. He knew. Because he called me later that day and asked me why.
I calmly told him we weren't friends and I felt weird. He asked me why snd I told him, I felt weird about his wife. I also told him I didn't appreciate him calling me names. He flat out asked me what names, I said the name back, and he said "I would never say that you must have misheard me". He kept getting louder and I know for a FACT I didn't mishear because I clarified "did you just call me ----" and he said YES
So I yelled at him "you're a manipulative asshole and a groomer" to which he went quiet. And then his wife spoke. Apparently I was on speaker the entire time. She said I was jealous and an asshole and hung up on me.
An hour later his mother called me and at least she told me I was on speaker. It was her, D, the wife, the wife's mother and maybe someone else those are the only ones who spoke. They all took turns expressing how hurt they felt and how I was putting a stain on their marriage and how I was ruining their honeymoon. I flat out said they aren't even on their honeymoon rn so that shouldn't matter.
I said, and I quote," You chose to call me. I tried to avoid you. I want nothing to do with you, as far as I'm concerned im done. I won't talk about you, dont talk about me." To which the hairdresser got brought up by D. She didn't name me, but she dropped him. D claimed I swayed her. I said "if your actions swayed her then that was on you". I then was getting yelled at by many and the mom again yelled at me and cursed at me and said Ime calling him a groomer (pls note I hadn't except for the phone call earlier that day) could have complications for him and I shouldn't be "a vindictive jealous bitch".
I replied "im not jealous, if I had wanted him I could have, but that just proves he is one" and hung up.
I didnt realize fully until my sister brought up what happened when I was 16, D had tried to date me. It was a short period and he had flirted with me and would constantly buy me stuff and then guilttrip me for it.
To be quite honest a lot happened between us but I had told him I never wanted to date him. He did hold my first kiss over my head, which I hadn't even wanted to kiss me he just did. To be honest, I never wanted to think about it and so I didn't. Cause from that point on he had always dated women his age or older.
I guess I was groomed too. I'm not even sure, because as some people noted it is a small community. You talk to one person and guaranteed they are related or friends with the person you are talking about. Everyone knows everyone. His mom had always told me that he had only developed a crush on me because of the closeness and I had accepted that. I hadn't seen anything wrong with it when i was 16, but it makes me grossed out now.
I went on a tangent sorry, but the mother has vagueposted about me and people are assuming me. A few coworkers are asking me about the situation and I've not said anything. But apparently D and his wife are fighting now and im being blamed. His entire family is sending me messages and I have these new accounts send me messages, idk if they are real or not. I've deleted most of my social media now, because everyone is telling me I was in the wrong for trying to tear them apart and that they should be a happy newlywed couple and instead I've ruined that.
So AITA?
TLDR: my exfriend (31m) married an 18f. I called him a manipulative asshole and a groomer. His entire family is coming at me now and sending me messages. Genuinely unsure how to feel because part of me feels bad that I hurt the girl, the other half is pissed everyone is defending him and doesn't care.
What are these acronyms?
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seabass17 · 3 years
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All that’s left | Pt. 2
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem! Reader
A/n: So, this is... a different reader in comparison from the one in the first part but I kinda like it? Anyway, Im considering making a third part and im thinking it'll contain some smut. I used google translator so please don't judge me. Tell me what you think. Happy reading.
All that's left pt. 1
Warnings: angst, mentions of scars, swearing, implied smut?
Word count: 3.263
Summary: After moving from her life in New York, away from the Avengers and him, she finds happiness and a life that she actually enjoys, but that seems to last little when she spots the familiar jet on the roof of the building she lives in. Is she ready to face them? To face him?
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*Three months later*
The warm air surrounding my body made me take a deep breath and unconsciously smile. I was happy, I was free, I was whole. I was with my neighbor drinking coffee in our usual spot, which was a cafe near the main street of the place that I decided was going to become my new home.
“Продолжай рассказывать мне о своем боссе, который сводит тебя с ума” (Keep on telling me about your boss who drives you crazy) Andrei said making me laugh and shake my head.
“Не о чем говорить, он просто засранец, который дает мне слишком много работы и заставляет меня плакать” (Nothing to talk about, he's just an asshole who gives me too much work and makes me want to cry) I laughed. I had met Andrei a week after I moved in and there was an immediate connection. No, it wasn’t in a romantic one, god no, we were just really good friends that had a lot in common.
“Now now, that was not what i saw the other day when i went to pick you up from work” He said with a playful smirk plastered on his light brown face. I gasped, a fake indignant expression on my face while my hand went to my chest. He laughed loudly. “Don’t play that card, I saw you!” he added
“I don’t know what you are talking about” I said, trying to fight the smile that tried to come out but failing miserably, we both laughed.
He and I had become quite close in the little time that we had known each other. He was an American with a Russian name. He explained that his mother was from the states while his father was a russian spy, they fell in love against all odds and eventually, Andrei was brought to this world. When he was fifteen his father died and he and his mom went to America, where he finished high school and surprisingly, entered the military. He did two tours before he decided that he had enough and returned to Russia. Hence why he could speak both Russian and English fluently. As for me, I told him that I was in some sort of organization that worked for the government, and that’s why I knew russian. He believed me, thank God,  I didn’t want to talk about how I was part of the Avengers and why I left. Obviously I will tell him when the time is right and I know that he can be fully trusted.
“Oh, come on Ames, are you going to tell me that you don’t like him one bit? Not in the slightest?” he asked, smiling and I shook my head. He stayed silent for a second and stared at me, like he was considering whether he should ask me something or keep quiet. “Is it because of him?” he finally asked, watching me closely to see my reaction. I felt my stomach twist at the mention of him. Of course it was because of him, because of them, I couldn’t afford getting hurt and betrayed one more time. Andrei didn’t know his name, or theirs for that matter, so I smiled weakly and nodded.
“Yeah, I know it sounds stupid but… I just can’t afford getting hurt, not again, not anymore” I said looking at my hands.
“I understand, believe me I do” he said, his hand reaching out to hold mine. I looked up to find his brown eyes looking for mine, I saw nothing but genuine love -the friendly kind- in them. I smiled and squeezed his hand. He was going to say something but his phone rang; a notification. He withdrew his hand to look at his phone and the moment he did, people around us started getting up and running in the same direction. I looked at him confused to find him frowning at his phone.
“What is it?” i asked.
“The Avengers are here…” He said and my heart skipped a beat and my body went rigid. Andrei noticed. “What 's wrong?”. Well, there’s no use keeping him from the truth anymore.
“So, remember when I told you that I worked for an organization for the government? Okay don’t freak out and hate me but, here it goes” I took a deep breath. “That organization was called The Red Room were they trained me from a very young age to be a perfect cold-blooded killer, years later i escaped and was on the run until i got a new identification, name, address, new everything and then joined the avengers to amend the wrongs I made in the past. To my luck, it didn’t go great because it ended up breaking me the same way The Red Room did, so I left to find a fresh start and came here where I met you. Please don’t hate me” I concluded in one breath. Andrei was silent with a straight face, which was hard to read, and eventually after a few seconds that felt like an eternity and shrugged his shoulders. WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN.
“Believe it or not, I've heard worse” he simply said
“Worse than finding out that your best friend is a train killer and former avenger?” i asked incredulously and he tilted his head and smirked
“US Agent mother and Russian spy father” He said. I laughed and he followed right after. “So, I'm guessing we are running away?” he asked. Say what now?
“We?” I asked, almost in shock to which he simply nodded, “You don’t think im just gonna let you go like that, please, is not that easy to get rid of me” he snorted. “And I'm supposing Amelia is not your real name either, given the fact that you ran off,” he added. Damn, he is good.
“Y/n, y/n y/l/n” I said and he slowly smiled
“Well y/n, nice to meet you, my name is Andrei Petrova” he said, extending his hand, i repeated his action with the same smile. “I’ve got to say, I like the name y/n more than Amelia '' he added and laughed. We were brought back to the matter at hand when the screaming of the people were getting louder. I snapped my head up and saw the familiar jet on the roof of the building where I was living.
“Here’s what we are going to do, I’m going to my apartment and buy us some time while you go get a car and,” i handed him my card “you are going to get all the money from my bank account. I will meet you in front of the cafe that’s two blocks away from my place”
“Are you going to be okay?” He asked with clear worry in his eyes. I smiled and nodded
“Yes, I promised. Now go” I said before he got up and ran. I sighed and went to my apartment. Was I really going to do this? After months, was I ready to face them, already knowing the truth? Well, guess I'm going to find out.
Once in the building I decided to programmed the lights to go out in 50 minutes and then I went to the elevator, wanting to appear as normal as possible even though I felt like my heart was going to explode from how fast it was beating inside my rib cage. When the elevator stopped at my floor I walked until I was standing in front of my door. I didn’t need to wait and confirm, I knew they knew I was here, now there’s only one thing left to do. But before I did anything, the door creaked open.
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*10 hours earlier*
Bucky paced from one side to the other, finding himself incapable of staying put. Natasha sat silently on her chair, Tony was in the front with his head in between his hands, Steve was resting on the side of the wall looking at the floor, Bruce was just standing there holding his chin analyzing everyone in the room. Sam sat on the couch looking through his phone, Vision was sitting next to Wanda on the other couch, while Clint and Thor were sitting on the other chairs. Peter had some school stuff to deal with like the teenager that he was. They’ve been looking for her for the past three months, and about a week ago, a picture was found of someone that looked exactly like her, all except her hair that was a bit shorter and the color was different, but other than that, it was practically her.
Not wanting to get their hopes -or rather enthusiasm- up, they decided to look deeper and found out that the picture was taken a month ago in the city of Magadan located in Russia. They found out that before three months, the name Amelia Agapov, didn’t exist. The more they looked into it, the more they were convinced that it was her.
“The mission report from Agent Carter arrived, should i put it on the screen?” the voice of the AI filled the room. The team had been waiting for that report for days, the nerves of the question that lingered in the air ‘was it her?’ being present for that time only grew stronger as Stark asked FRIDAY to project the report on the screen.
Pictures were shown, most of them were about this woman buying in the market, having coffee with a guy, but there was one, where her face was looking straight into the lens of the camera, and it was that picture that left the people in the room absolutely rigid. It was her.
“We found her…” Tony said in a whisper. Everybody kept their gaze on the picture on the big screen. After months looking for her, they finally had found her. To everyone, it was like someone just discovered something new, a kind of relief and anxiety all at the same time.
“Suit up, we’re going to get her” Steve said to the group, but see, it was the choice of words from Cap that Bucky found unsettling.
“Get her? Like she is some kind of criminal?” he said, looking at his best friend dead in the eye. Steve opened his mouth to say something but Tony beat him to it.
“She was trained by The Red Room to be an assassin, we can expect nothing more from her '' He said, trying to calm Bucky down, but instead it only caused him to get angrier, and not only him.
“So was I” Natasha said, her voice low that could scare anyone to the bone if they weren’t so used to her.
"It's different" Tony said
“How is it different?” Wanda said this time, “It wasn’t when you practically recluded me after I helped Ultron and tried to kill you all” she added.
Tony sighed and looked down, realizing that he might be overreacting.
“Let’s just get suit up and get on with it” Steve said, cutting the rather awkward silence that filled the room.
The avengers were suit up and on the quinjet in less that forty-five minutes, and they were in Madagan in nine hours, it took them an hour to find her building, and once they found it, Clint landed the jet on the roof and they all got out and looked for her apartment. Funny enough, it was the same number as the one she used to live in New York; 108. They waited for what seemed an eternity until they heard footsteps just outside the door. Suddenly, the air felt thick with anticipation, but Bucky couldn’t wait any longer so he crossed the living room in two steps and opened the door. She was standing there. Silence took over the entire apartment until she broke it.
“Well, are you going to move so that I can get inside my goddamn apartment Barnes?” she said expectantly. Bucky realized that he had been staring at her since he opened the door. Her hair was different, more wavy and a shade or two lighter. He moved to the side and she was able to see the rest of the team. This was going to be one hell of an evening.
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Breathe. In… and out…
It was hard. Fuck. Okay i can do this.
“Well isn’t this nice. All the team back together again!” I said with sarcasm dripping from every letter.
“What the hell did we ever do to you?” Steve said firmly.
“Damn, getting straight into it. That’s okay” i shrugged as I went to my room but the sound of the blasters of Tony's suit stopped me.
“Stop, don’t take another step” He said, lifting his hands and I smiled.
“Really? Well unfortunately i have to change, so i’ll leave the door open if it makes you comfortable” i said as i continued to walk to my room, and like I said, i left the door open.
“Y-you don’t have to do that, you can…” Wanda said but trailed off. I had taken my shirt off; my scars were shown.
“So, Steve” I broke the silence as I put on a black shirt, “the thing that you did wasn’t as bad as tin man over there, but you still let Hydra take me the day we took out the helicaries” i added. His face got pale and started shaking his head.
“What? No, you made it out safe, you-” He started saying but i interrupted him
“You sure? Who do you think stopped Rumlow when he tried to interfere with the exchange of the chip when you were in the helicarrier with Bucky?” He started thinking for a moment until he realized what I said fell into place. “Yeah, I took one hell of a beating, and if that wasn’t enough, I fell to the water. I fell thirty floors down, and I alone got myself out, because I didn't have anyone to cover me or have my back” i concluded.
“Your scars…” Tony said this time and i turned to him
“Yeah, thanks to you Mr. Stark” i said and he looked at me. “Doctor said that 74% of my body is covered with scars, along with one or two burns”
“You were that girl in The Red Room” Natasha said, causing me to turn my head to look at her and I smiled cynically, “You are Eliza” she finished.
“Давно не виделись с Натальей” (Long time no see Natalia) i said and she looked at me in pure surprise in her faced. That’s something coming from the famous Black Widow.
“What about the rest of us y/n?”  Sam said this time, redirecting my attention from Natasha to the rest of the group. Thor was standing there holding his hammer, Bruce was next to the fridge, Clint was by the sink, Wanda was with Vision beside the kitchen table and Bucky was by the door. They were all looking at me. I took a look at the clock, I have to leave in less than thirty minutes.
“Long story short, Clint, Bruce, Sam, Wanda and Vision are the ones that didn’t do anything, so just chill out, you are still on my good side” I smiled and waved my hand.
“Hold on, but what did I do?” Thor asked and I looked at him.
“God it really is unfair how such a little thing can cause such a big problem. The first time you came down to earth, met Jane, bla bla bla… when her stuff was under custody of shield, and you took that notebook; they blamed me. I know it may seem weird because, how? Thing is, I was undercover at that time inside Shield, so when the notebook disappeared, guess who was the one that got beaten for it. I couldn’t move from the pain.”
Thor was standing completely still.
“Lady y/n…”
“How is it possible? I was there  and never saw you” Clint interrupted Thor.
“It was before the avengers, i was on the run and a girl's gotta eat. Don’t worry, I never gave them anything. Got the money and then killed them, they were nobodies” I shrugged off.
“So, that’s all you needed to know, so if you please leave my…” I said but then he interrupted me.
“No” I would be lying if I said it didn’t send shivers down my spine at his tone, and I hate even more that he noticed it. “You’re missing one doll” Well fuck me
I turned to see him and he was walking painfully slow towards me and I was praying for my legs to not give out.
“Barnes” I simply said, thanking God and all the saints that it didn’t come out as a whimper. I took a look at the clock once more. I have to leave. Now. “Such a shame, wish you had fought for us, I would have gone through hell and back for you, Buck” his eyes were looking straight to my own and I felt like he was staring at my bare soul. In a way, he was. I smiled and I saw behind my back that the team was looking at us, we’ve never been this close, not in public anyway. I standed on my tiptoes and reached for his right ear, he instinctively reached down so it was a bit easier for me.
“If you want to know, you’ll have to find me first дорогой” (Sweetheart) I whisper. Next thing, the light went out just like I programmed it to and I slid beside Bucky to reach out to the door and to the hall. I could hear the team screaming ‘what the hell just happened’. I ran to the emergency stairs, and once out I could still feel him behind me, getting close. I went into an alley, having to detour, knowing that he eventually was going to catch up to me and I couldn't have him follow where I was really going. A few seconds later, I felt him caging me to the wall on the alley, both of us breathing heavily. His flesh hand went to my throat and his metal one rested on the wall.
“Given a different occasion, I would have loved this, don’t get me wrong, I still love how you…”
“What the hell are you doing?” he asked huskily and I smiled.
“I told you, you’ll have to wait until you find me again. Alone.” i said
“Come on Barnes, do you really think that the charade of being your personal fuck toy would last forever?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
“It wasn’t like that, i…” he said but trailed off. The pain in my chest starting and clenching my heart.
“There it is…” i said lowly, the hurt in my voice evident, “listen, i’d love to keep talking about how you used me, but like i said,” i got close to his face, my nose touching his, “find me to found out” after that,  I raised my knee kicking him right in between his legs.
He let out a pained groan and fell to the floor, causing his grip in my neck to give out. I took advantage and ran. Two blocks away, I saw Andrei. When he saw me running to him, he immediately got in the car and turned the engine on, then I got in.
“Drive, fast” it was the first thing i said
“Where?” he asked while we took off. I smiled and looked at him
“You’ll see”
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entishramblings · 3 years
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The Essence of Arda [Legolas X Reader]
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A.N: whoA okay so this fic took me on a whole ass adventure. I kinda just let the story go where it wanted to and ya know I’m kinda happy with how it turned out. Also, “(h/c)” means hair color...there is something I included but I wanted to make sure you guys could still see yourself as the character so yeah! Another also...I’m sorry....this was requested literally so long ago.
Request: @sokkasdarling — heyhey im gonna request smth cus i LOVE U AND UR WRITING HHHH okay so how about a jealous legolas fic where he thinks the reader and aragorn have a lil thing going on but they're just really great friends and she actually likes legolas very much?? please and thank you<3333
Pairing: Legolas X Reader
Summary: (Y/N) and Legolas’s paths cross in an unexpected way and the two develop feelings for each other. However, Legolas is unsure and gets jealous bc of the way Aragorn and (Y/N) interact.
Word Count: 3,661 (sorry I got a little carried away)
Warnings: angst, fluff, cuteness, jealousy, the tiniest amount of nudity
(gif not mine)
MASTERLIST | AO3
Legolas had met many wandering souls throughout his travels of middle earth—weathered, withered, and warped humans in particular, for the elements and loneliness seemed to affect them more so. Elves, on the other hand, were bound to nature. It was where their hearts rested and their spirits thrived; therefore, the desperation of the empty lands of Arda did not affect him. However, that didn’t mean he did not wish for company. So, on that account, Legolas made his way north towards the Dundain, in hopes to see his good friend Aragorn once more.
It was there, in the northern wilderness, where he met the most riveting and thought-provoking individual. The intriguing nature that compelled his attention was that she was so unlike the other humans he ventured upon, specifically because she wasn’t exactly human.
The first time he had met (Y/N) was when her sharp canine teeth were at his throat.
A (h/c) she-wolf had launched herself at him with an unhinged jaw and barring teeth. The nimble creature had been so swift that he, even as an elf, did not have time to react. The wolf had pinned him down with a viscous expression—laughing at his surprise. Legolas was only quick enough to pull a knife from his belt once he was already knocked down upon the mud. However, he hesitated just before he was going to strike the blade into the beasts’ belly.
As intimidated as he was, something in those vibrant earthy eyes made him halt. Was it the deep churning of the sea? The fresh breath of the sky? The moisture of the leaves? The pooling of sun-kissed honey? The thickness of clay-like soil? Legolas was unsure why exactly, but those eyes reflected the essence of Arda—they reflected it right back into his soul. And here was his miscalculation, for the natural instincts of a wolf would not suspend for its prey—well, not without a familiar voice calling out....?
“(Y/N), NO!”
The creature froze. She reluctantly backed off of his form but she did not let her guard down. Instead, she circled him with those same barring teeth and low growls.
Legolas inhaled a deep breath of cold air as he tried to re-center himself, for it was not often an elf got knocked on their ass and enthralled so deep in a beauty.
He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment and focused in on his elvish senses—feeling every nerve in his body scream out to be alert.
Legolas’s ears picked up the first indication—the speaker.
A sound of rough, ragged panting carried through the breeze as his gaze whispered upon the being who had previously hollered—a worn down Ranger.
A small grin crossed the elf’s face. Aragon stood before Legolas, with hands on his knees, sucking in deep breathes. An entirely human action. The Ranger clearly had a hard time keeping up with the canine creature—which he surprisingly seemed to be acquainted with.
“Legolas, by the Valar, I didn’t know you were traveling through these parts,” He exclaimed.
The elf chuckled as he stood, brushing dirt off his palms.
“Well, I suppose I am lucky for she listens to you well,” He nodding at the wolf for reference.
The Ranger shook his head and let out an amused laugh. “She never listens to a thing I say. So, you are lucky, indeed.”
The wolf released a snort-like sound as if she was retorting to his words.
The Ranger rolled his eyes before speaking to Legolas again, “Let me show you to where we are camped. A hot meal will be waiting.”
Legolas smiled softly, “Thank you, Mellon Nin (my friend).”
The group—consisting of man, elf, and wolf—traveled through the woodland tundra with small conversation between the two who could speak. They shared their recent adventures and current news across the lands until they come upon a handful of Rangers around a blazing fire. They were clad in similar attire as Aragorn, being worn leather boots and thick fraying fabrics. Each of them had the same haunted expressions as many people Legolas had met, yet nothing like the joyful grin that pulled slightly at Aragorn’s lips.
The Ranger introduced each of his companions to the elf as he settled down upon a log. Legolas did the same, allowing himself to become enthralled by the brilliant flames. The she-wolf left his thoughts.
As the moon rose high and stars stretched across the sky, the rangers began to settle for the evening. It was then when the elf ducked away to relieve himself.
He made his way through the twisting trees in silence for he enjoyed listening to the sounds of night’s nature. But the normal chirps and hoots was not what met his ears; rather it was snapping bones and ripping skin, small groans and weak whimpers—it was pain.
Legolas narrowed his eyes and crept forward cautiously, fearful of what he might find.
The sounds let him towards a rather large bolder that was impeded in the ground and covered in thick moss. He was startled as he laid a hand on the cold stone, for a leg protruded upon the side—a leg belonging to the canine species.
It bended and it snapped, morphing into one of human nature—much like his own. It then disappeared behind the rock once more. He could not hold back the gasp that left his lips for witnessing such a thing was—shocking, confusing, terrifying. It was unnatural, but then again, what was ever natural within the lands of Arda?
Legolas’s attention was drawn upwards as a naked figure shakily stood before him.
She stood straight, with impeccable posture, and a head held high; but that is not what claimed his consciousness. It was that vibrant gaze, burning angry holes into him.
She spoke sharply, “Well, are you going to pass me my clothing?”
Instead of responding or making any motion, he froze as if he was deer hiding from the predator once more. His blue orbs locked onto hers, for he dared not let his gaze wander.
Dreadful silence hung in their air as he processed that the person before him indeed was a wolf moments before—the wolf.
However, that antagonizing absence of sound was disrupted when life was breathed back into him and he could finally move his lips. Though it came out as a whisper, for elves were conservative creatures and such a sight had caught him off guard, it still came out nonetheless.
“You are—are not entirely human.” He stated with an expression that seeped curiousness and inquiry.
“Though, currently, I am shaped like one. So, as you are in my way, I will ask you once again to pass me my clothing.” She reiterated.
Legolas’s brows pulled together and his lips mumbled her words back to her as he searched his mind for the meaning. He twisted around and around until a pile of dark fabrics caught his eye. He grasped them gently and passed it over the boulder between them into her calloused hands.
He turned so his back was facing her. His anxiety and awkwardness reverberated off of every word that non-consensually tumbled from his lips. “You are a shifter then—able to alter your form? A wolf....so I suppose it was you who almost tore my throat out.” He paused before recalling her name, “(Y/N).” He should have stopped there if he could, but alas, he couldn’t. “I have only ever met one other like you. His name was Beorn—a great black bear he was—“
She interrupted him, “Most elves I come across are not so verbal. Though, Strider had mentioned you before, Legolas. A strange fellow you are indeed.”
A small grin of embarrassment flickered across his face, not that she could see. “He called me strange?”
A laugh, sounding of blades of grass rubbing together against the wind, struck the air. (Y/N) spoke, “For an elf he had said. But truly, he was too generous with those extra words.”
Legolas tilted his head at that for it seemed to be an insult; but before he could decide on such a matter, she called out to him again—this time fully clothed and ten feet in front of him.
“Are you coming?”
He quickly scampered after her.
As he and (Y/N) entered the area, Aragorn, who still sat by the fire, glanced up with a shimmer in his eye.
Legolas gridded his teeth and sat down next to the man. In a voice as low and quiet as he could muster, he spoke to the Ranger. “Why didn’t you tell me she was the wolf?”
Aragorn smirked in amusement before whispering back, “I figured you would eventually come to that conclusion and by your expression it was not of the best experiences.”
Legolas shot his friend a glare, but that only made the Ranger grin more.
Luckily for the elf, (Y/N) interrupted the moment. “Strider, did you save me some stew? I’m starved.”
The man passed a bowl to her as he spoke, “You know I always do, (Y/N).”
She smiled gratefully.
The Ranger stood and made his way to his bedroll, clapping the elf on the shoulder as he went.
Legolas took notice of the interaction between the two and turned his attention to the woman sitting across from him.
Once he was sure Aragorn was out of ear shot, he spoke quite bluntly, “You and Strider....are you—“
She snorted, “No, no. His heart lies in Rivendell.”
Legolas raised an eyebrow, “And yours?”
(Y/N) shrugged and glanced up at the scenery around them. “Here. In the lands of middle earth.”
The elf tilted his head, examining her again.
She stopped her chewing and sent him an accusatory look. “What?”
Legolas smiled softly, “I sense that shifters are much like elves in that regard—bound to nature and tethered in the sky.”
She raised a brow, “And what makes you think that?”
He chuckled lightly at her bold fierceness, “Your eyes. I can see the essence of Arda in them.”
(Y/N) shook her head in amusement, “Elves and their poetry.” She paused, taking a moment to think. “Although what you say is true, it is within that where I think we differ. You elves are laced up spiritually whereas shifters are tied animalisticly.” When the elf did not respond she continued, “You care for morals, I care to survive.”
Legolas nodded in understanding, “Yet we both appreciate the beauty of it.”
The corner of her lip pulled upwards and she shook her head in agreement.
......
As time went on and the small group traveled, the female shifter and the elf became great friends—bonding over their infinity with nature. The two had split off from the rangers for a little while because (Y/N) wanted to see the forest of Greenwood and examine what seemed to be haunting it. However, after approximately two moon cycles, they met with Aragorn once more. He was not with his previous companions though, so it was only the three of them.
The months had gotten colder and they traveled upon open plains so (Y/N) stayed in her wolf form. It was easier for the time being. And it was in this shape that she came bounding towards the ranger that she had not seen in a while.
She jumped up upon him, knocking him to the ground as she had once done to Legolas. She plastered wet slobbery licks upon his face as his chest rumbled with laughter.
The elf could not help but feel a pang of jealous encase his heart. He had grown to develop feelings for the shifter as they had grown close over their journey. 
Just as he felt bound to nature, he felt bound to her.
So he stood, with a fire burning in his heart, as he watched (Y/N) give canine affection to his human friend.
As the days continued on, Legolas’s irritation grew. (Y/N) strayed closer to Aragorn’s side—rubbing her face against his leg and pawing at his feet in attempt to trip him.
Of course, Aragorn could pick up on the elf’s mood and angry looks. He had thought Legolas was aware of his lover in Rivendell, but perhaps not. The Ranger had wanted to find a moment alone with the elf so he could assure him of the sibling-like relationship between him and the shifter; but with open freezing lands like this, there was no privacy.
The small trio had settled upon large rocks for the night as that was the only shelter available. They lit a brilliant fire in attempt to starve off the nipping wind, but it only did so much.
Aragorn, wrapped in blankets, had fallen asleep quite quickly; whereas Legolas sat brooding, leaning against a boulder.
It was a moment before he noticed those curious eyes on him. They twinkled with the emotions of Arda, searching his soul. With a tilted head, the wolf approached him slowly.
She crawled forward, so close that her wet nose was inches from his own. She resting one large paw upon his thigh but her weight did not hurt him.
Legolas did not move because he was taken by surprise. (Y/N), as partially human, did understand boundaries; yet, she did not seem to care about them in this instance. Instead, she studied him—up close.
The elf knew that she was searching him for answers given she had noticed his mood as well. However, Legolas did not wish to give any. Therefore, he held his porcelain elf features strong, not bending to her intimidation. He starred right back at her. Though this time, his eyes were filled with anger and frustration—and (Y/N) could tell.
Legolas was upset with her for she blatantly gave Aragorn affections.
Could she not see his heart?
He had said he would not bend to her will and intimidation. He had decided he would be cold towards her. He had made a choice—a choice that he could not uphold as he gazed into her soft eyes of nature.
Slowly, he raised a gentle hand. He brought it close to her face. When she did not pull away, he cupped the canine’s features.
To his disbelief, (Y/N) completed an action he had never seen her do before—even with Aragorn. She leaned into his touch.
Legolas’s lips parted as the moment encapsulated his mind.
He let his hand fall slowly and (Y/N) leaped off his lap. But she did not scamper off in a different direction. Instead, she ducked into his side and curled up against him. She let her head rest on his lap.
Cautiously, Legolas began to stroke her soft, (h/c) fur. He let the short strands slip through his fingers, lulling her to sleep.
.....
When Legolas woke, (Y/N) was not in his sights. He sent a confused expression towards Aragorn who was tending to the dwindling flames.
“She will be back,” the Ranger stated simply.
The elf stood and walked towards Aragorn. “Where did she go?”
The ranger shrugged while biting back a smile.
Legolas frowned at his playful expression, “I know you know something, Aragorn.”
The man raised his brows. “I woke sometime in the night. You and (Y/N) seemed quite close.” He paused, the tone of his voice changing, “You know, she never lets anyone touch her like that.”
“Never have you....?” Legolas let his sentence trail off as the ranger shook his head.
Aragorn spoke again, “My heart rests with another.”
Their conversation was cut short by a feminine voice. “Have either of you seen my cloak?”
Legolas’s head snapped in the direction of the sound for it had been long since (Y/N) was in her human form.
The shifter stood before them shivering slightly in her clothes. They were clearly not fit for the freezing air as the fabric was thin—so thin that her the curve of her breasts and nipples was easily seen.
Legolas adverted his eyes and instantly began to ruffle through his bag as he spoke with concern in his tone. “(Y/N), why have you shifted to your human form? Did you not say it was safer for you to travel through this weather as a wolf?”
She sighed, “It is harder to communicate in my animal form.”
Both of the men knew what she was alluding to.
Legolas cleared his throat and pulled out a couple fabrics from his bag. “I have been carrying your cloak.” He moved towards her as he continued speaking. “Wear this as well. It is an elvish tunic weaved from my homeland; it will keep you warm.”
“Legolas, you don’t ha—“
He shook his head, “Please, I insist.”
(Y/N) reluctantly took it and pulled the fabric over her head. She frowned as she handled the wrap around ties, not quite able to figure out how they were supposed to lay.
The elf smiled softly, “Here, let me.”
Ever so gently he took the extra fabric in his hands and begun to weave it around her form. He tied the delicate cloths in a simple knot before moving to fasten her cloak under her chin.
“Thank you, Legolas.”
He tucked a stray hair behind her ear, “It is no problem.”
He turned to gather his belongings as they were to continue their way through Arda. However, as he did so, Aragorn shot him an amused playful look. The elf sent him a sharp glare in retribution.
.....
Within a couple days, a winter storm hit the group. Luckily, they were not far from a human town which they gratefully took refuge in. Of course, as they busted into the inn, many weird looks were thrown their direction. It was not often this area was crossed by elves and rangers—and skin changers, but they were unaware of (Y/N)’s less than human nature.
They each paid for a room and took time to settle into the warmth.
Legolas rested on the edge of the cot, fiddling with one of his blades. He had let his thoughts wander to a place he had been avoiding. A bond with nature was one thing he knew deep within his soul, but a bond with another was something untouched and left uncovered. Of course he had had acquaintances with friends and family; however, the bond he was debating over was one with a lover. He knew where his heart craved to be, yet he was unsure how to proceed.
His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the frame of his open door.
Legolas looked up to see (Y/N). She was wearing fresh clothing, likely washed and pressed by a maid. All the filth and grim had been scrubbed from her skin and her wet hair was pulled into a tight braid.
“(Y/N),” he stated simply. “Is something wrong?”
She shook her head as she stepped into his room, “Well, not entirely.”
Legolas frowned at that comment.
The shifter walked closer until she stood only a foot from the elf.
He looked up into her vibrant eyes with question.
(Y/N) cleared her throat as she gently placed something soft and neatly folded into his hands. “Thank you for lending me your extra tunic.”
He smiled softly at her, “Won’t you need it again when we depart? The weather isn’t getting warmer anytime soon.”
A light chuckle rumbled in her chest and she shook her head in response.
Legolas placed the fabric next to him and looked up at her again. He did not notice he was staring until she whispered his name.
“Legolas, why do you do that?”
He tilted his head trying to hid his embarrassment, “What do you mean?”
Her teeth scraped her bottom lip, “Why do you look at me like that?”
The elf adverted his gaze, “My apologizes. I did not mean to offend you—“
(Y/N) interrupted him, “It is not an offense.” She sighed before speaking again. “You look at me like you marvel at nature—as if I am something so breath taking.”
“You are.” He frowned, “Do you not think so of yourself?”
The woman did not say a word; instead, she shifted her vision to the floor.
Legolas reached outwards and took her hand in his own. “You are breath taking, (Y/N)—even more so than nature.”
She shook her head, “I—I don’t understand.”
Legolas could not hold back any longer. He knew he needed to explain what he meant but no words could formulate such a thing. Therefore, he gave into his impulses and did the only thing he could think of to demonstrate it. The elf pulled her into him and grasped her cheeks with his hands. Legolas drew her face downward and smashed his lips against hers. When she did not reiterate any action he instantly pulled away. Had he taken a step too far?
“Legolas,” she breathed out in a whisper.
“I...I am sorry...I didn’t—“
She shook her head and clasped his cheeks, bringing his mouth to hers once again. Their lips moved together like the rhythmic dance of the wind—swirling and intertwining with eagerness. Legolas could taste the essence of Arda upon her lips—the sweet honey from east of the Anduin, the fresh berries from the region of Eriador, the bitter nuts from the mountains of Angmar. (Y/N) moved her body in-between his legs, but she decided that that was not close enough. So, she lifted herself into his lap, letting his calloused hands encircle her waist and hold her steady. She could feel the warmth of sparking fires, the comfort of soft wool, the shield of shelter from harsh winds. Legolas laid down upon the bed, pulling her form with him. He could hear the pounding of her heart and the gasps of her breath. Every sound she made did not escape him, it fueled him. (Y/N) tangled her fingers in his blonde locks and smiled against his lips for she recognized every aspect of nature within the elf, for it was in her too. It was the essence of Arda.
.....
Everything Tag: @sokkasdarling @scxundress @quilledinkpen @hufflepuffinblr @lea----b @aredhel-of-gondolin @princecami @the-fandoms-georgie @jazziwritestolkienprimary @swimming-in-stardust
Legolas Tag: @dark-angel-is-back @mylittle-escapingdreams @arandomfandomblog @moriamithril
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antiloreolympus · 2 years
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10 Anti LO Asks
1. once the trial plot line is finally wrapped up (at best maybe itll end in december) we still have to deal with apollo, and leto, and thetis, and eros and psyche, AND kronos, oh and you know, the actual hymn to demeter and even just hxp getting together, which is both rushed and dragged out. like how has it almost been four years and still so little has happened and we still have way too many plots to deal with?
2. i see one excuse for LO is "well its free content! dont critique it!" like girl, we know she's making a lot of money just off fast pass alone, not counting books, merch, etc, also she's being paid by the company too as well as ad revenue, so its not really free, is it?
3. LO Persephone is Veruca Salt from Charlie and The Chocolate Factory.
4. lets be very frank here. if rachel was a woman of color pulling the shit she does in comic and on social media, shed be so hated as a regressive person with conservative ideas who is selling a horrible story and messages to her young fans, but because she's a white lady they hold her up as the goddamn messiah. theres so many better BIPOC creators who know what to do with this mythology and make it fresh and interesting and yet shes held up as the authority on it and coddled? sounds about white.
5. i dont get where lo fans claims antis are "apollo apologetics" bc literally none of us like him, we like actual mythology apollo and hate rachel took an interesting and diverse god and made him That Way to push her badly written romance along. No one is excusing him and idk where they're claiming thats from?
From OP: Exactly! I have no clue they got that from. Plus, every “Apollo Apologetic” I’ve seen so far likes LO and/or is active in the fandom.
6. that other anon hit the nail on the head. persephone isnt a character dictating the story like she should be, she's just being pulled along by everyone else or just rachel forcing it, all so persephone cant be held accountable for any action, good or bad, it just happens to her. this wouldnt be a problem if it werent for the fact it claims it's about "empowering" persephone and giving her agency to make her own choices, yet she doesnt even have that in this story, even less than the myths, IMHO.
7. does rachel know having hades be a threatening dick towards his pseudo son thanatos actually makes him less qualified to be a father? you cant tell us his biggest dream is to have a family yet when given the chance to care for a child he mentally and emotionally abuses and threatens them with physical violence over any little temper tantrum hades has. how is demeter seen as the abusive parent when she clearly doted and spoiled persephone, but hades is held up as the one "deserving" of a family?
8. hades' whole 'you should be grateful that i raised you FOR FREE and mentored you' is literally verbatim something my physically and emotionally abusive father said to me. that, PLUS him flinching away from hades/shivering, PLUS hades' constant anger at thanatos. just really rubs me the wrong way.
9. im also confused? bc persephone clearly isnt comfortable with how violent and angry hades is, yet she never pushes back on this, and even if she tries he does nothing but a momentary "apology" at best but goes right back to it, and seems to have only upped it recently much to her discomfort. it's (hopefully unintentionally) like how we saw rhea and kronos, where she only dealt with his anger with her body. idk why but rachel is making a strong case their eventual marriage won't be a happy one.
-----FP Spoilers/Mention-----
10. fp spoilers
dude 😭 i dont have words. badly written characters be like: barely 1 minute in we have perse all “*is forced to share her trauma due to fear*” meanwhile hades: “*has a temper tantrum* *2 seconds later* you should not be consoling me” trash can fire comic.
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bioodorange · 3 years
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||How I See The Pastas||
© @frozensriracha, for some help with visuals!!
This was originally supposed to be how they looked but I decided to go for mental aspect and explain why as well PLEASE like, reblog and share your thoughts on this in the comments or inbox
Below the desciptions are images i’ve compiled and some art (if you know the creator please tell me so i can credit them) for a visual
dont forget to like reblog and share your thoughts with me, I spent a few days on this so i’d appreciate this
Jeff the Killer
So lets start with the obvious- jeffs pasty white toothpaste lookin skin
But realistically he wouldn’t be completely covered in scars
It would be blotchy, with pink fleshy patches among the burns
He most likely has contracture scars, third degree burns that turn the skin a pale white and tighten the skin
This explains his gaunt features and skin color
Now we have to take into account the vodka that was splashed on him, he’d probably have worse burns there with exposed flesh and damaged nerves
This would result in gnarly exposed skin, a damaged scalp and maybe damage to his teeth and eyes
Realistically, Jeff wouldnt have burned off his eyelids that alone would have resulted in blindness and death
Than his smile, his signatuure mark would probably be more of a gangly bloody scar mess
Pastas heal faster and aren’t really human, he’d have to recut his smile pretty frequently making it pretty jacket up because ltes be honest hes far from clean
ANd than his hait being chard black is very unlikely because as nasty as he is he s h o w e r s
not very frequnetly given his living situation and untreated burns but people can figure out how to wash hait and not much else
also i think its funny he’d shower with a plastic bag on his face to avoid getting soap in his nasty infected scars-
His hair would probably be dry and cut unevenly, more of a dark brown color with blonde undertones
Not to mention his burned scalp, hair probably wouldn’t grow there so he’d have a cool unintentional side shave
Jeff would also be a tall individual, he cant really eat, snacking on things from his victims homes giving him a more skeletal build
His personality and mindest is about as pretty as his face- but he most likely has a very screwed up headspace
Lacking in self care, maturity and sanity its fair to say he’d be a brash and violent person
Fun Fact: While researching this I learned that some versions of the joker had facial scars in the shape of a smile
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Ticci Toby
So tobys age, unlike a lot of pastas, is pretty well agreed on, 19
So unlike when he was first a proxy toby most likely has stronger facial features and facial hair
Because shaving and hygiene isn’t first priority for pastas (gross-)
He stands around 5′7 and has grayish skin
Toby i feel is picky about foods, not only is it hard for him to eat its hard for him to keep food down
He’s malnourished explaining his thin figure and grayish skin
His hait is dark brown and a curlish mess, unkempt but short so it doesn’t get in his way
I’ve always seen him with a small gap in his teeth, because I can
And since toby can’t feel shit I wouldn’t be surprised if he tried to eat rocks simply because he fuckin could
So some chipped teeth that are a bit uneven
Along with his CIPA and not eating enough Toby would bruise easily and have lots of scars, from things like cutting his finger on accident or getting mauled by a racoon
I wouldn’t be surpised if some of his joints were a bit screwed up, because whenever theyd beak or fracture he wouldn’t notice, this would probably happen a lot causing them to not heal correctly
One of tobys habits is nailbiting but he cant te;; when too far is too far
His fingers may be abit odd looking, knobby and discolored nails because of how exetreme his habit is
Would most likely have bandages around his fingers frequently to prevent the habit
So theres a lot of debate about tobys cheek was it the CIPA or the car accident, I beileve the accident because his other cheek is completely fine, theres damage from the OUTSIDE to inside and considering his sister died in the accident its unlikely he survived unscathed
Fun Fact: only a small handful of people have ever been diagnosed with CIPA, less than 500 (documented) cases around the world
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Bloody Painter
So Helen is often seen as quiet emo painter boy 
but uh no <3
Personaly i beileve he suffers from narcisistic personality disorder, exetreme importance and that he is always victorious and gets what he wants
This sporuts from the constant heavy invalidation from classmates, toxic friends and neglect from his parents
He doesn’t hang out with people because he doesn’’t lie them its because they never let him in the past and he beileves he’s better than them
But this also links to deep rooted insecurity and social anxiety/being inept completely
Him being nice is basically so you like him, he wants validation amd admiration not love
Unlike the other pastas he’d be a more clean well kept one a helthy figure and some tattoos bevause he can
I beileve he lives in socity, finding hus victims in girls and men alike who fall for his charm
he uses hhis skill and ordinary appearance to blend in on the streets
From his behavior helen most likely keeps his hair a bit shorter and clean
He always looks his best
Has chapped, and picked at lips because of his anxieties
Aswell as his breakdowns- his identity is completely in his head, he is very unsure of who he is and takes the delusions in his mind as reality
Unrelated but paino fingers-
And finally in order for his art to be as perfect and amazing as him, he has to be apart of it
Thus using his own blood in his pieces and the body parts of those he admires
Covers his scars with clean bandgaes
But his paintings turn brown and dry out, he’s always in need of a new medium
Is most likely anemic from all the blood he looses and has a paler skintone
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Clockwork
ahh yes finally someone who knows what self care is-
helen, i love you buddy but you need to stop 
But anyway natalie has a stronger, athletic build
She often chases her victims and gets in altercations, relying on strength most  of the time
on that same note, this would defintelty cause many scars on natalie
Wether it was a bite mark or scars from a kitchen knife, shes got lots of scars
A few even on her face
Now, for the clock in her eye that thing is like holding her skull together at this point, realistically
She is probably delicate and cares for it becaise 1) it hurts 2) if it gets screwed up that could cause a lot of problems
natalie would be a smart person, I wouldn’t be surprused if she had a few other stray stitches or bandgaes wrapped around a fresh wound
For more visual-ish things uh m u l l e t (credit: @cum-looking-sock-mf in a chat like 4 months ago)
She has one, fight me on it
but also thick and curlish hair so I also riase you
Undershave
just y e s
I can also see her getting tattoos over certain scars on her arm, just to make them look not so ugly
I feel like clockwork wishes things worked out better
Wishes for another chance but knows she’ll never get one
Thus her taking goof care of herself
Natalie throws herseld into her “work”, keeping her body in shape and killing people
Its a way to avoid her life and that it is- a huge, sad mess
Shes an outgoing impulsive individual, confident but questions her actions
She’s also unstable- protective and loyal but explosive and strong 
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Jane the Killer
Jane is the final one, im sorry I couldn’t do more theres a photo limit and I wanna bash my head into the wall
Now a main different between her and jeff is she had surgery and lie treatment
Janes skin is still greatly scarred but it is greatly healed
She takes care of it and had skin grafts
Her face is disfigured, a scarred smile and burns around
But unlike Jeff she doesn’t recarve the cut so its a cleaner line and a lot healthier
Janes hair took a rather long time to grow back, but it did! 
She has a slightly long pixie cut a bit choppy but she doesn’t mind
Her wife definetely cuts it for her and you can fight me over that
I can see Jane having a lot of facial trauma, scars around her nose and cheeks
She was young when she started killing and went for the over the person, pin them down kill which didn’t work out
She switched to a silenced pistol after awhile, you know like a smart person
Janes arms and legs are in alright condition where most of the burn trauma is on her back
She has a leaner but healthy figure but like boobs-
Like clockwork and Helen she takes care of herself
She doesn’t kill as frequently, going after a few of jeffs victims before him and is of course, actively hunting him down
Her eyes are a pale green and she wears makeip to fill in her eyebrows because those bitches take a long time to grow back
fun fact: jeff has no eyebrows, fight me
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Note
Hi! I was wondering if you can do Kakeru Manabe dating Momiji’s twin sister. She was also born with the zodiac curse, and like they tell everyone and are ready to tell Akito and he doesn’t improve, how would everyone react? Including Manabe. Would they defend her and try to make him agree to them dating? Thank you if you read this have a good day or night sjsnsnsj 😅 ALSO IM SORRY IF ITS TOO MUCH DJDKWNDK
Heya! While I do write for Fruits Basket (thank heavens for another fandom in my inbox for once lol) I write reader!inserts not the story of your OC that you don’t feel like writing out yourself. So what I will do is write a Kakeru Manabe x reader story with a character that has the zodiac curse, but otherwise there will be no Momiji’s twin, because I sure hope that the OC has more of an identity than just being a copy of Momiji.
A/N: Of course I write a Fruits Basket piece on the eve of Lunar New Year. 😅😅😅 HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR TO THOSE WHO CELEBRATE. 🐮🐮🐮
Fandom: Fruits Basket
Character: Kakeru Manabe
Prompt: Sohmacursed!reader
He slept in the flowerbeds without a care. Earning complaints from many. The school council president dared to roughen him up in public, earning a surprised look as the image of prince charming broke. He did everything differently and earned no ire, only more fans for the actions he took. Kakeru Manabe was a strange individual that went against the grain and that had your attention. Someone who was capable of pulling out a different side out of everyone.
Affable was a word that would suit him. Along with attentive, for he always thought and minded the rest first, even while he slept in flower beds, or did something silly that earned Yuki’s fist once more. Kakeru Manabe was, by all accounts a charming young male that had deserved his spot in popularity despite his ditzy outer appearance, if only because of something dark hidden beneath. It was attractive, for a Sohma at least. For they often lived under a façade as well, for they often craved the genuine attention of those surrounding them.
And here was the danger for you, for a Sohma was not supposed to interact with those from the outside. For they were not allowed to be with those uninitiated and you were very much not an exception. In fact, you were a reason even.
“We can’t be together,” you had stated, and Yuki had solemnly nodded, understanding the why but not willing to accept it just like that. However, as a fellow Sohma what was he to suggest else? The outsiders wouldn’t understand and as much as Kakeru was someone of great understanding and acceptance he was just another outsider. After all, it wasn’t unheard of from their own mothers to abandon their children once they found the curse, what obligation had he not to do the same?
“Ahaha, please don’t be like that,” Kakeru had responded, first thinking that you were jesting. Your humour had always been rather outlandish, it was why the two of you got along so well. Just last week you had been the one confessing to him, albeit covertly, but now it was him who returned the words to you, openly. Surely feelings couldn’t have changed that quickly?
“Oooh, is it because you’re actually the heir of a throne in a foreign country? It is fine, I will be your Prince Charming!” the male had exclaimed, thinking that you truly were playing a game with him, but at your stern expression Kakeru’s bright shimmering light dimmed a little as he eyed you and then Yuki and then you again.
“Is it because of my family?” he questions, a pensive look on his face as he recalls the complications his own family came with. The difficulties Machi had to suffer from. The things he fought so hard to break away from. Was it all fruitless in the end?
You shook your head once more, a soft smile on your lips as you took a step away from the male, creating distance between the two of you. It was regrettable that Yuki was here, when it was supposed to be a private moment, but also fortunate, for you were sure that he was needed to pick up the pieces of his friend that you were to leave behind.
“It is mine,” you answered honestly, remembering the way Akito had reacted to Rin and Hatsuharu, recalling the story of why Hatori’s fiance had suddenly left him, the heartbreak, the pain, the inevitable tragedy that was to come, but above all the lack of what you wanted to give him the most; the curse holding you back. And that was all you had been willing to say as you turned away, leaving him with only your rejection.
But Kakeru was amongst the many traits of affableness and charm also determined, unwilling to let go once he had understood that this went against yourself as much as it went against him to let you go.
Kakeru knew himself not to be as kind and as empathetic as he would like to be, often needing others to explain to him what the perspective of the other was. But he understood family and especially complicated families as a member of one himself. Or so he had believed when he tried to dive into yours and tried to figure out what it was that had made you say what you had.
“Have you tried to embrace a Sohma? Have you ever pressed their body against yours and felt its true form?”
The mysterious head of the Sohma family had left Kakeru with even more questions as he wondered what it was that Akito had meant. Kakeru had, without a fear, approached the head to put the hierarchy of the Sohma into question. An inquiry that had earned him a cold and callous ire in which he was challenged to do the one thing you had always avoided. Was it in there that your secret laid?
He had considered it, Kakeru had, but the thought disturbed him as he realised the implications that Akito had so carefully suggested. Was he able to disturb your boundaries as such, to force out your secrets to him so casually all for the sake of starting a relationship?
“You will destroy it before you have it,” were Yuki’s words when he tried to seek counsel from his friend. Yuki’s grey eyes had been so sad, back to that gloomy cold prince he had been before they became friends. It was a loneliness that Kakeru had come to recognise in all members of the Sohma, which he sometimes saw in you as well.
“Whatever it is,” the male decided to tell you instead, “I hope one day you will come to see me as someone that you trust enough to share your secret with,” he had told you after relaying the story of his meeting with Akito. He regretted his own noisiness, lamented his curiosity, but had satisfied himself with patience. Patience that he was willing to use to wait for you to be ready, or for his feelings to die out, though Kakeru had a feeling that was going to be another long while. He was after all, quite stubborn.
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blondebooklion · 3 years
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why it drives me crazy when people say c!ranboo has no morals but think c!wilbur and c!ranboo could still have potential to be narrative foils
morals:
loyalty to family/friends: in both his normal functioning and his enderwalk stage ranboo is incredibly defensive of his loved ones. this is 100% the center of his moral compass. he doesn't do certain things he fears will upset others (thus succumbing to peer pressure yes) but i deeply disagree with people argument that that is proof he has no moral backbone. particularly due to a couple of instances:
ranboo visiting tommy in exile: while not directly breaking the rules there was a general expectation, especially the people ranboo spent his time with, of not really visiting tommy. it wasnt really a set rule or anything but ranboo was definitely putting himself at risk by doing so.
protectiveness over michael: when sam and puffy showed up to prank ranboo, he was incredibly defensive over his son. he was ready to kill to protect his son if it came down to it.
rescuing tommy+tubbo: while we have it confirmed this instance was in their enderwalk stage, ranboo going both proves ranboos values in the enderwalk are the same (or i'd argue strengthened even) ranboo moved protectedly in front of tubbo when he and tommy had separated
forgiveness: he is willing to give people more than one chance, he is incredibly quick to judgements but for the most part he does not rely on other peoples opinions of each other to dictate the way he feels about them, he does take it into account in his overall image of them, but like with revivebur, he is willing to offer him a chance.
reciporcity to kindness: when people are kind to him, he is kind back. y'all let this slide as a moral with techno. it counts here. no im not counting it as necessarily loyalty because he is polite and kind even to those he isn't close to.
self-reliance: for better or worse ranboo does not think he needs other people to survive, in many instances he has displayed thinking he and everyone else would be better off if he were isolated. he does not want to depend too much in anyone, which can especially be seen in his desire for wealth. i think it has always been more about i dont have to rely on others, if things go south i can still survive (obviously part or it is needed something to do on stream, im applying other characteristics of ranboo to infer) but we can also see this in him retreating to himself (panic room, not telling anyone about his book being missing) when he is threatened because he believes the best way to handle it is himself
security: ranboo is incredibly driven bu his desire for safety and stability for both himself and for his loved ones. he thrives on consistency. he struggles the most when things begin to change.
difference between foil and antagonist (just for clarity cause some people have been switching up the definitions)
"an antagonist is a character who is in direct opposition to the protagonist. their actions deliberately hinder the protagonist from achieving her goal. this relationship helps build conflict and propels a story forward."
"a foil exists simply to shine the spotlight on certain traits of another character, without necessarily creating opposition or conflict."
credit: masterclass
the opposing traits/beliefs that i think will cause the most conflict between the two (ranboos will be written like this and wilburs like this to differentiate)
leader vs follower
probably the most obvious contention point, pointed out on 5/05 stream by wilbur pressing ranboo on what he stands for. wilbur wants to be in charge. but i think ranboo is how wilbur wanted people to value him. wilbur wanted to be the guy that everyone liked because he believed being liked comes with power. ranboo does not necessarily want to be well liked by everyone, but he wants to at least be neutral so he does do things in order to keep them on his side
conflict driven vs conflict averse
wilbur thrives on chaos and conflict, much like dream he is willing to manipulate situations. rqnboo does everything he possibly can to avoid it
cockiness vs insecurity
wilbur is obviously bold and arrogant. he thinks extremely highly of himself and the postions he does and could potentially hold. he is ruled by this factor and often does not think about the consquences of his rashly made decisions(thats not to say he isn't calculated or intelligent, he is, he just focuses on how things affect him rather than others)
means to an end vs no ulterior motives
all of ranboos bonds are strong because when he cares about people he does what he needs to to take care of them, they usually initiate out of instances of kindness, but he does not seem to expect anything in return. he cares about people because he loves them, nothing more nothing less. wilbur however while some of his relationships were initially based on care the motives became corrupted and its hard to say whether there are any relationships he has at this point that aren't ruled by some kind of benefit for him (my only guess for that would be phil)
similaries: paranoia, trust issues, secretiveness
ranboo and wilbur really are two sides of the same coin, yes they are opposites in a lot of aspects but despite the differences in their values orginate from the same place they jutted of in two completely different directions, they tried to solve the same issue in vastly different ways. ranboos paranoia was attempted to be solved by isolationism, while wilburs mainly tried to solve it through manipulation. ranboo pushed people away and wil tried to force them to be around. both backfired for them and caused them to retreat further into the paranoid states demonstrated by wilbur blowing up l'manburg and ranboo catastrophizing with hearing dreams voice.
I think wilbur's main contenion with ranboo resides in wilbur thinking ranboo glazes through life easily, and that they disagree on what morals means. being more confrontational does not mean you are more or less moral than another person. wilbur does not understand that differing morals does not equal none at all.
I don't think their relationship is going to act as an antagonist because while ranboo is actively keeping an eye on wilbur it wouldn't really make sense for ranboo to suddenly be more confrontational. I know a lot of people are citing the Burr vs Hamilton relationship as parallels in their dynamicI want to remind you that narrative foils are not conflicting in nature. conflict can happen. but the point of them is to highlight the differences in character traits.
likening to burr vs hamilton
burr wanted power but he wanted it to come to him vs hamilton wanting power and actively chasing it
yes this makes sense for wilbur, but it doesnt for ranboo. ranboo doesn't want power. he never has. the reason burr waits on the sidelinesnis cause he is waiting for the chance to act, but ranboo is not waiting for something to happen, in fact he would rather have the exact opposite, for things to be as uneventful as possible.
"Hamilton’s success at the expense of his personal life is countered by Burr’s relative lack of success and his happy family life. Both of these are directly due to the two’s differing goals and approaches to life. Burr and Hamilton are two side of the same coin, opposite results with the same starting conditions."
source
this is exactly what I referenced earlier between the two. ranboo cares about family, wilbur about career. while a lot of their behavior originated from a similar place, their paths rapidly diverged.
hamilton's downfall at burr's hand
i'm gonna be honest i find it extremely hard to believe that a situation will exist where wilbur waits and ranboo acts. however, if one does i still firmly believe it will be revolving around (likely in defense of) the people ranboo loves and cares about, specifically michael, tommy, tubbo. it would be where he is cementing his views of choosing people. but wilbur being hesitant is still difficult for me to think of a scenario on which he would that hesitant? for it to be his downfall?
important to note: ghostbur did also akin ranboo to burr so it is definitely possible that this dynamic is going to countinue to playout in the future
I will shut up now thank you for reading. reminder that this is just my interpretation and analysis, obviously looking at different details could lead to different conclusions. i'm super willing to discuss as long as we are both going to be respectful of each others opinions and courteous <3
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thebibliosphere · 4 years
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Hi bibmum, I tried to start watching the witcher because its all ive been seeing on my dash lately but i could barely get through the first episode. The witcher character telling a rape victim that she's the bad guy for killing her rapists? The "if i have to choose between a greater and a lesser evil, i refuse to choose"? Just. So nasty. But you seem to really love it so im just wondering if it gets better bc the first episode sucks.
I’d need to watch it again cause I don’t remember that particular line with Renfri (not doubting you, I just don’t remember how bad it is), but I think one of the key things about understanding Geralt’s character dynamic is that you’re not actually supposed to like him as he is at the start. 
He’s someone carrying a lot of trauma and with that a whole heaping side of depersonalization which can often come off as inexcusably cruel and callous from the outside, and we really don’t get into the whole “being a Witcher has something like a 99.999% fatality rate and that’s just how many die as children in training” thing for quite a while yet. 
The whole “witchers have no emotions” thing isn’t just some throwaway line meant to make them seem “othered” from humans or the “strong flawed silent” type we often have for heroes in popular fantasy media. He’s legitimately been conditioned to have zero emotions by his training, and part of his survival instinct is to maintain that facade by ignoring his own emotions because the thing about trauma is once you open that box and start trying to unpack it all, it’s impossible to put it back. And in Geralt’s case, opening up to things and becoming attached and caring is going to get him killed. (Not to even mention all the people that will die if he’s not around to slay monsters.) 
That doesn’t make any of the shitty things he says or does right, but as someone who deals with depersonalization as part of my own trauma, I thought the show actually handled his development quite well as the episodes progressed. You see him coming to terms with the fact that, shit, he can’t be impersonal anymore, he can’t stick to just his training because his training isn’t enough. His training got that girl killed. His training makes him the monster. And he knows that. And he’s determined to never let it happen again.
Thus begins his arc of growth, showing that Geralt is someone who does care, he does have profound compassion for those around him (if not always empathy) and he wants to help people so badly, but other than being a brute for hire, he’s not sure how to do that.* 
And then because fate is nothing if not a laughing trickster, Geralt suddenly finds himself flung into things that demand more emotional energy and depth than a  teaspoon and oh boy, does it never rain but it pours. Like the shiny, shiny bard who is basically ten people’s worth of emotions in one body and is determined, nay, decided to be friends and keeps following Geralt around like a lost puppy singing that fucking song. Or the witch who is seemingly hell-bent on her own destruction in the pursuit of what looks like power, but is actually just a desire to be in control of her own life after centuries of abuse, gaslighting and manipulation (and who, like Geralt, doesn’t know how to be “normal” and perpetuates the cycle of her own abuse because control and manipulation is all she’s ever known). Or the child who by the law of surprise is suddenly his. He is for all intents and purposes a father now, the one thing Witchers are never supposed to be, and just what the fuck is he supposed to do with a child? 
So he does the whole “run away thing” for as long as possible, because Christ, that’s a lot of scary emotions right there. That’s more emotions in the span of about 10-20 years than he’s dealt with in the some near 100 years he’s been alive. But he can’t keep running, he knows that. Destiny is an active force in this universe, and it will come to find him. It will hold his feet over the fire and hold him accountable for his actions, and worse yet, it will go after the people he loves if he doesn’t. 
So yeah. There are lots of things all the characters in the Witcher say and do that are Problematic. No one is an unproblematic fave, everyone is messy, ugly, broken and sometimes just outright cruel. Some parts of the show made me deeply uncomfortable (I’m thinking of the orgy scene with Yen in Episode 5 which is big yikes for a lot of us, though I have more thoughts on that than I have room for on this post) but there were other parts that made me realize that if the writing keeps up as it is, and we get to move beyond the “meet the characters” stage we’re currently in, this show has the potential to be phenomenal. 
So to finally answer your question? Yes, it does get better as the episodes go on. But there will still be moments that raise the yikes meter, but those moments are, I believe, intentional. The show wants you to have strong reactions to things and to throw your hands up and go “come on man! do better!” because we know they do get better. We know from all the other source material we have, that what we are seeing in the show right now is just the messy beginnings of a very complex story. 
And also just because the hero says or does something in the narrative, doesn’t mean the show is promoting the bad things as “right”. If anything it wants you to question it more because it’s the hero doing the thing, and heroes are supposed to be better than that. And we know they do, because deep down at its core, the Witcher is a story about a trained monster killer, who goes out of his way to help the monsters. Sometimes he can’t help them and death is the only option. But we’re all faced with things we’d rather not sometimes. Including the reality of our own actions, and Geralt is someone who is wading knee-deep in them.
(*As an aside: we see him at his best when he’s dealing with monsters and animals because they’re not complicated in the way humans are. He talks to his horses because he’s able to show Roach love and affection and care, and it just comes off as good horsemanship, and likely wouldn’t have been discouraged during his Witcher training. And he’s able to help monsters, because, well, he likely sees himself in them.)
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My take on Sev\erus Sn\ape. After all those years
I am aware of all his flaws. He had a rough childhood and never had anyone who would help him grow into a better person or give him a personality that would help him change. But that doesn’t excuse any thing he ever did throughout the series.
He was selfish and petty, and though he loved Lily, it was the only thing that brought any good out of him. And yet the reason he loved her, im  pretty sure, was that she was the only person he knew and was close to, and also because she made him feel human and he may have always wanted to be with her because she brought out good things in him, with her kind and sweet personality. He wanted to be around her because it would make him feel less lonely and make him feel good. He didnt want to be there for her, at least intially it never crossed his mind.  His love toward her also stems from him not wanting, not willing to change. He only knew Lily, and only wanted to be with her. He didn’t want to put any effort in changing that and looking at anyone else. He wanted Lily all to himself, even if it was bad for her. He was extremely jealous and he hated admitting he was wrong, he shifted blame on others, and even when he was confronted by her he kept excusing himself.
Even when he went too far and she cut ties with him, he felt he had the excuse to call her an extremely hurtful slur “mudblood”. He tried to get back to her even after he crossed the line and hurt her deeply, instead of holding himself accountable and realizing she deserves to be treated right. Not to mention his highly hypocritic attitude of calling every muggleborn a slur and treating them like they’re not human, yet only being nice to Lily, not caring to realize how mean this attitude is and how it makes Her feel. 
His love for her didnt change him at all, because he only cared about his own feelings, because he wasn’t willing to change for Lily, because he loved her out of his own pettiness and obsession. His feelings were centered around himself and what he saw and felt.  James Potter was a bully and a spoiled kid. But what people often gloss over is the thing he did what Sn\ape didn’t. James changed himself for Lily, because he loved her in a way that let him recognize and reflect on her feelings and what she wants. James was a jerk, he did bad things, he was a bully, but he made that part of himself his past, for Lily. 
Sn\ape didnt change himself for her nor for anyone, nor for himself, he chose to stay the way he is because he didnt feel the need to look into himself and maybe realize there are things he could have made different because what he does hurts Lily. He kept going the path he started . Maybe he knew he was wrong but he still didnt change.
The reason S\nape threw everything he started, away, and sworn to Dumbledore to protect Harry, was because Sn\ape hated himself for being the cause of Lily’s death. He grieved and was in a lot of pain, and he hated himself most but he chose to self destruct rather than become better and heal to not repeat the same mistake again. It was his choice. 
His self-hatred has become the core of his character ever since Lily perished. If he had decided to make up for his mistakes and learn from them, he would have changed what made him make those mistake he had made, and grow as a person. If he had loved Lily in a way that included her feelings in his mind, he would have looked at Harry differently. He would have become slightly better, he would have chosen to act differently and he would have been able to see things in a kinder light. But he chose to drown in self-hatred, he chose to hate himself and let it be the only feeling in his life. He subconsciously chose to hurt himself by making himself think that Lily’s son was a copy of the person who bullied him, instead of seeing Harry as someone different from that. Sna\pe hated everyone because of choosing to let his hate be the only feeling.
Sn\ape chose to betray lord Voldemort and death eaters, Not because he didnt want to be a death eater anymore. Not because he no longer shared their values.
He was into dark magic, he actively supported death eaters even when Lily was alive. Did it change? Did he decide he hates dark magic? Did he decide he hates death eaters? No. In fact, his values never changed, he never turned his back on them out of principle.
He did it because he still saw himself as a death eater. He still had same values as them. He followed them. But he chose to betray them because he chose to destroy himself.
Working for Dumbledore was a way to punish himself for having been the reason Lily was killed. I know he later on complained to Dumbledore that he puts so much effort in being a double agent and putting himself in danger, but thats because his human selfishness was speaking out (working hard and being upset its being taken advantage of)
In a way, protecting Harry was the only reason for living for S\nape. But he didnt do it because it was truly his reason for living, He didnt see Harry as his reason for living. He did it all to make up for what he did, and sort of take revenge on himself. Not even on Voldemort. It was never stated that S\nape hated Voldemort. In fact, he never did even after he killed Lily. The only possible explanation is that Sn\ape blamed himself for her death.
Sn\ape didnt atone for anything he did with the intention to make things better: to clear Lily’s name, to save her son she loved dearly. he only chose to do it all to feed his own hatred. In the end, the only person he saw, was himself. He didnt “see” Lily, he didnt “see” Harry, Dumbledore, Voldemort.  “I am the reason she died”  “I am the one to blame” “I hate myself” “I am in pain” “It all happened to me” “Lily meant a lot to me”
Sn\ape hated himself and took out all of his hatred on everyone around him.
IF Sn\ape could see Lily’s feelings and care about them, he would have looked at Harry and wonder how Harry feels and what troubles him. If Sna\pe’s love made him try to see what was important to Lily and not only to him, he would have tried to see James and Harry in different light and maybe let go of his petty hatred towards them. He would have at least tried to open up his “black curtains” a little bit and put down his pettyness and old grudges.
Sn\ape didnt think about letting go of his grudges even if they hurt Lily. He chose to dive deeper into them and hold them close to his heart, even when he had a person who brought out the good in him. He could have a lot of reasons to act that way, he had bad past, he was bullied, and maybe all that were the factors of why he chose to put his grudges and hatred above what was important to the person whom he loved. But the fact still stands: he chose that. 
His bad past doesn’t excuse all the things he has done later on as an adult. It can be understood, but not excused. It didnt give him the right to do what he did. The reason why Sn\ape is interesting, is not because he is good or misunderstood. It is because his story is tragic and human. He is very flawed. He is selfish. He is full of grudges. he chose to stay stagnant instead of growing. That is what made him so unique. He was the tragic character that never got to change and chose to self-destruct instead. 
He wasnt like Harry, who grew and changed and healed after everything that had happened to him. He wasn’t like Ron, who chose to grow out of his jealousy and pettiness at being the last at everything. He wasn’t like Slughorn, who tried to learn from his mistake and grief and be at least braver than he used to be. He wasn’t like Regulus Black, who actually realized his faults and that Voldemort is wrong. 
His actions and motivations were purely emotion-driven. But his emotions weren’t pure. Sna\pe stands out among all HP characters because he was one of the few who didnt change as people while managing to change everything.
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anothertimdrakestan · 4 years
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Burn (Tim Drake x Reader) angst????
Words: 1.6k
Req: Hello!! May I request Tim x reader angst?? The song “Burn” from Hamilton is stuck in my head so why not put it into context with Tim cheating on reader?? Thanks and bring on the pain..
omg i love this song and im shit at angst but you only get better from trying right??? so lmk how i did i tried lmao hope you enjoy!
You dove into Bart’s chest as the tears began falling. “Just say it’s not true, say I’m wrong. Just say it” you clutched the fabric of his shirt while he stayed silent, his arms rubbing your back. “I- we- we all thought you guys were over I didn’t realize I would’ve said something but he was so secretive” Bart murmured while you let the sobs wrack your body. 
“All the nights he didn’t come home from the tower he was with her?” You began, pushing Bart away while you felt like tearing your hair out. “Every time he left me on read he probably wasn’t even the person I was texting” you continued spitting out the words in such a way that Bart was flinching at your delivery. “And now, when he needs a fucking reason to be out of Gotham he’s on a trip with her? Just leaving me here like it’s nothing? Like everything we had was just a fun little power trip for him?” you were yelling by now. 
“No- I mean yeah, Tim’s an idiot. But maybe it’s not true, maybe you just need to talk to him or something” Bart piped up, your head whipped around. “Yeah? Who am I gonna talk to? Mr. Taking My New Girlfriend On A Getaway Trip? You know he didn’t take me anywhere. Months. I begged for a day together and he was just too busy. He’s not too busy for her though, clearly she’s everything I’m not.” your anger was seeping from you slowly, the realization that every time he told you he was yours he was probably sharing rooms at the tower with her. “god FUCK how long has this been going on? It’s been like a month since he moved in to the tower- dammit! My friends told me this long distance bullshit doesn’t work but ‘oh y/n we’re perfect it’ll be fine! I’ll fly home all the time! We can call every night’ that turned out great didn’t it.” you felt the hot angry tears get replaced with the slow rolling tears that reminded you once again you weren’t good enough to be kept around.
“Do you- maybe- wanna talk to him?” Bart was clearly terrified of you but you appreciated his help. “B, what good is that gonna do? You know Tim as well as- better than me. He’ll give me a shitty excuse that it was ‘for the greater good’ or that I’m ‘just looking at it wrong’ you know he’s better with words than either of us he could run- dammit he has run circles around me like a fucking toy” you had begun scrolling through your phone wondering how many texts got copied and pasted to another text thread with someone he probably cared about more than you.
“So, what are you gonna do then?” Bart had sat next to you on the floor, letting you rest your head on his shoulder while you scrolled through text after text noticing every red flag or lazy text. “Y/n that’s not good to be looking at, you’ve gotta block him or something” Bart whispered, staring at your screen probably reading every message in slow motion. 
“It’s not just the messages I’ll be blocking” you whispered, letting the seething anger slide back in. In what Bart would describe as almost super human speed you began the descent to freedom, blocking, unfollowing, and deleting almost everything that was reminiscent of you and Tim. Then you got to your main instagram account. “Fuck it” you whispered, unfollowing him knowing that tabloids would be starting the smear campaign now. 
It felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders at an immeasurable price- the price of heartbreak which you’ll be indebted to for a long time. 
~a week later~
“I have really got to buy myself some damn pajamas” you groaned to yourself, pushing down the little lovesick demon in your head that was telling you it was okay to keep sleeping in Tim’s hoodies and sweats because maybe he’ll apologize and you can take him back and be in love again and- not gonna happen. The celebrity magazines had been lurking near your apartment for days now, waiting to hear the newest gossip and find out what truly happened as you’d been radio silent- only adding to the interest of the paparazzi. As you realized you had to go outside today you prepared yourself for the onslaught of questions. 
“Y/N L/N WHAT’S GOING ON WITH YOU AND MR. DRAKE-WAYNE?” “MISS Y/N WHY THE UNFOLLOW?” “HAVE YOU BEEN SEEING HIS RECENT POSTS? WHO IS THE MYSTERY GIRL?” you cringed at the last question, reminding yourself that his actions didn’t matter as he hadn’t truly been a part of your life for months. 
Before you could get into the black SUV waiting for you, you were stopped and trapped until you spoke into the microphone in front of you. “Anything you can give us on Tim Drake-Wayne and you?” you took a small breath, willing yourself to stay calm. “I’m sorry I simply just don’t know who that is” you smiled between your words, using the confused moment on the questioner’s face to slip into the car and drive off, finally letting you exhale the breath you’d been holding in. 
~two weeks later~
You almost threw up at the sound of a once familiar knock on your door. 
“Y/n, y/n I know you’re here let me in we’ve gotta talk” his voice pleaded from your hallway. After three deep breaths and promises to yourself to stay strong you opened the door. Tim looked normal, it was horrible. You had been fighting to look that normal and were barely holding together but here he was, wearing the shirt he wore the night he told you he loved you with the ever present stern look like nothing had ever gone wrong. He moved to come inside but you blocked his path. “We can talk out here. I don’t have much to say” you hissed, watching him sheepishly back off. “Y/n I just wanted a chance to explain and give my side and-” you cut him off. “Apologize. You’re here to apologize and if you aren’t you’d better leave now” you were screaming and sobbing and melting down internally but you held your composure. 
“Well, yeah, that too. But also we need to issue a public statement because yaknow it’s kinda been going so fast and I think if we could just sit down and work everything out we could stay on better terms because I am so sorry love” you flinched against your own will at the familiar nickname. You took a second to remind yourself that he was again just using his words to get the better of you, you were not going to fall for the same trick twice. “There’s no statement Tim, I’m not clearing your name or coming to your side- hell, I’m going to go work with fucking lexcorp so you won’t even have to worry about seeing me at the office. You and I are separate entities, you broke that relationship when you began the lies and the goddamn cheating, there’s no public statement I’d make that would put you in a better light you’re lucky as hell that this is all I’m saying got it?” you watched him flinch at your words and against all your control you could feel your body begging you to hug him and kiss away the pain like you’d done for months on months. 
“Y/n I want to apologize, I should’ve never- it- it was a lapse in judgement but I want to make it right” Tim pleaded, you watched his facade falter, like he truly felt sorry. “That’s great Tim, I’ll try to remember that when I remember all the nights you said you were stuck at the tower with work when you were with her okay? Sound good? You have a good one okay?” you feigned a smile, shutting the door and crumpling to the ground. 
You let yourself cry silently, burying your head in your hands. Your heart was heavy, it had been learning to beat on it’s own now, not to the beat of Tim’s and it hurt. But it was done? Not really. Not when you’re in the public eye, running a business that would eventually have to work with Wayne Ent. it wouldn’t ever truly be over. Your body was practically turning in on itself, your throat burning as you held in sobs, refusing to let anyone know how deeply this wound would scar. A scar so jagged and deep you feared if would keep your heart permanently broken. 
So how does it end? Because this was supposed to be the closure everyone said you needed. Where you give him a slap in the face for hurting you, telling him to ‘fuck off’ and instantly the pain subsides. But the pain was so intense and raw nothing felt soothing anymore. In a span of weeks you’d lost friends, hell- you’d lost family, and you’d lost love. Because no matter how hard you try to pry the words he said from your brain they creep back in. Nights when he’d call you from the Tower and explain how much he missed you and how perfect you were, days when you got texts about how he missed kissing every inch of your face, memories of the beautiful moments you’d had together that you figured you’d be telling your kids about. Those don’t just die with the relationship. They fester and they boil into your skin, they run through your veins, they flash in your head, reminding you that even when you gave every ounce of love you could muster you still weren’t enough. That’s what will forever stick. So it doesn’t every truly end does it?
Because you can’t burn away scares without leaving a deeper wound. And your wounds were deeper than you could fathom. Your wounds had just simply broken you. 
Tim Drake had broken you. 
So how the fuck do you get fixed?
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I'm really struggling and hurting with what's going on in the fandom right now as im losing the only comfort i had in quarantine. could you please write something happy post-s5 catradora based on noelle's statement that once Adora realises she's in love with Catra she'd be SO into the reslationship?
((I get you, Nonners <3 *hugs* Again, white af, so I’m going to limit my comments, but - it isn’t all downhill from here. Try not to give up)) (((Disclaimer it’s almost 4am and my sleeping meds are kicking in, so I’m sorry if this isn’t completely coherent)))
Adora had never half-assed anything in her life.
And she’d be damned if she was going to start now, at a time when being fully on her game was more important than ever.
“I just want to do something for her!”
Bow practically had hearts in his eyes. Glimmer was a little less impressed. “I’m pretty sure if you just stayed in bed and napped together all day, she’d be happy.”
“I know, I know.” Adora sighed. “But that’s not - I want to do something good. Like, really show her that I love her.”
“Take a vacation.”
“Glimmer!”
“What? I’m serious,” Glimmer insisted. “If you just like... took an entire week off to do nothing but spend time with her, she’d probably be speechless. Which I would pay to see, by the way.”
Adora frowned, thinking it over. It was true that Catra would probably be floored by Adora taking a week off, no need for She-Ra or anything, just for her.
“I don’t know. Do you think it’s enough? What should we do? What do people do on vacation?”
“You could just travel?” Bow suggested. “You know, get as far from Bright Moon as you can then call Glimmer for a ride back or something when you’re done.”
It was... actually a good idea, Adora thought. They’d spent their whole lives in the Fright Zone wondering what was beyond the Whispering Woods. They could actually see things now. They could see a world full of magic!
The happy thoughts died almost as quickly as they had started. “I... I dunno. I mean, it sounds great, but that would take more than a week, and-”
“Take a month,” Glimmer encouraged. “Take six months, honestly. You guys saved the universe. If anyone’s earned time off, it’s you.”
“That’s a lot of time.”
“And you’ve earned it,” Bow assured her. “Maybe not six months - I mean, you should take six months but I know that would drive you nuts. But take a month. Go places. Spend time together. I think it’d be good for you guys.”
Adora chewed on her thumbnail for a moment before slowly nodding and smiling. “Yeah. Okay.”
This whole thing had started with Catra not feeling like a priority in Adora’s life, after all. A month together would be the perfect way to show Adora she was invested and she cared. Perfect. * * * * * * * * * * * * Catra didn’t get back to Bright Moon that night. “Your cat passed out on my couch,” Mermista informed Adora flatly, turning the screen so Adora could see Catra curled up in a tight ball, sleeping.
“Is she... okay?”
“She’s dumb. Sea Hawk found her almost sick with heat stroke and had to drag her away from the house she was working on.”
Adora’s heart jumped to her throat. “She’s... She’s really trying hard to help with Salineas.”
“And I appreciate it,” Mermista admitted in a rare moment of genuine honesty. “But I’ll appreciate it less if she kills herself in the process. If she’s going to die, I should at least get the first shot.”
“Glimmer can come get her, if you want.”
“Nah, she already feels like hell. She can sleep it off on the couch.”
Adora scrubbed her eyes, smiling weakly. “Thanks, Mermista. Sorry, I guess I should’ve warned you, she gets really intense when she actually puts effort into things.”
“She’s not someone I would’ve pegged for a workaholic. Want me to wake her up to say... I dunno, good night or whatever you guys say to each other?”
“Nah, let her sleep.” Adora wanted Catra home, wanted to talk to her about a vacation, but she was sleeping, and that was more important than anything. She’d been exhausting herself for nearly a month working on Salineas. And while it was earning her some begrudging tolerant will with Mermista (who firmly believed actions were better than any apology Catra could ever say), Adora was worried. A vacation would really do her some good. * * * * * * * * * * * * Glimmer and Adora went to Salineas the next morning to get Catra. They thought it was reasonable to assume she was still sleeping off the heat stroke at the palace.
“Nope, she took off before I woke up,” Mermista said flatly when they found her. “Sea Hawk tried to find her, but he’s not exactly subtle about it, so she probably had plenty of time to hide.”
“Great.” Adora sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I’ll... track her down.”
“Tell her if she’s going to keel over to get out of my kingdom. She can die on Bright Moon’s turf.”
“Tell her not to die,” Glimmer added.
“Yes, and yes.”
Mermista pointed Adora in the direction of where they’d found Catra yesterday. She approached a half built house, quietly climbing up the ladder at the side and finding Catra working on the roofing.
“Seriously?” she asked, resting her arms on the edge of the roof. Catra looked up, surprised.
“What?”
She looked exhausted, her face flushed red. Adora sighed. “Are you coming home any time soon?”
“Yeah, yeah.” She went back to work, distracted. “Sorry, I dunno what happened yesterday.”
“You made yourself sick working in the sun all day.”
“Sea Hawk overreacted.” Catra waved Adora off. “He’s just scared you’d kill him if you found he let me overwork myself.”
“Sooooo you’re admitting it?”
“No, that’s just his logic.”
Adora shook her head. “Come on, take the day off and come home. I wanna talk to you about something.”
“I really need to finish this.”
There was a weird moment where Adora thought she understood how Catra had felt for years. Catra had been working nonstop on Salineas for a month, and Adora was starting to feel a little ignored.
But she also understood Catra’s side. She took a deep breath, hauling herself up onto the roof and crawling over to Catra, gently putting her hand on Catra’s and stopping the hammer. “Hey. I get it, okay? But you’re not responsible for fixing all of Salineas.”
“Actually, I kind of am,” Catra replied bitterly. She was far too warm for it to be comfortable.
“I’m pretty sure Hordak could stand to take a little more responsibility than he has.” Adora couldn’t help but be a bit bitter about that. He had mostly stayed in Dryl, working with Entrapta on tech that would help with the rebuilding process. And that was great and all, but it wasn’t much compared to Catra being out here every day working herself half to death.
Catra let out a long sigh, finally relaxing her hand. “I just... need to do this, Adora. Okay?”
“I get that, but you don’t need to do it at the expense of your own health. And yes, I know I’m a hypocrite. But I’m worried about you.”
“I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not.” Adora squeezed her hand. “And that’s okay. Have you eaten anything?”
“No.” The honesty was nice.
“Did you skip eating because you felt sick?” Catra nodded. “Okay. So... you can leave with me, or Mermista can wash you out to sea so you don’t die in her kingdom.”
Catra looked around, and sighed, finally nodding. “Okay. Let’s go.”
Getting her back to solid ground was a bit dicey, but she held herself up and managed to walk back to the palace without much help.
“She lives,” Mermista said dryly when they arrived back at the palace. Glimmer smiled, although she couldn’t hide her worry.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine, I’m fine.” Catra smothered a yawn, scrubbing her eyes.
“Picture of health all right,” Mermista deadpanned. “Look, you built like, an entire neighborhood on your own. Come back when you’re not burning up.”
Glimmer rested a hand on Catra’s shoulder, wincing when she felt the heat radiating off of her. Adora took a moment to whisper, “Thank you for taking care of her,” to Mermista. The princess shrugged.
“Yeah, you know. Whatever.”
Catra was not happy with the teleport back to Bright Moon. Glimmer put them close enough to the bed so she could drop straight onto it, groaning. Good luck, the queen mouthed before disappearing. Adora went to the bathroom, wet a washcloth with cold water, and returned to the bed, resting the cloth on the back of Catra’s neck. She shivered.
“Cold.”
“Yes, because you’re burning hot.” Adora settled in next to her. “So, I had an idea, and I already know you’re going to argue with it, but hear me out.” Catra hummed in affirmation. “I was thinking we should take some time off. You and me. I was thinking traveling, but now I’m thinking maybe go visit Frosta and spend a week in the snow.”
“Oh hell no,” Catra muttered. “I am not going anywhere with snow. That’s where I draw the line.”
“But you’re agreeing to the vacation?”
“I dunno.” Catra raised her head. “When? Can it wait until Salineas is-”
“No.” Adora gently clasped Catra’s face in her hands. “I know this is hard for you, but you can’t hurt yourself trying to fix things. That won’t accomplish anything, and nobody wants to see you hurting, not even Mermista.”
Catra looked ready to argue, but something in her expression flickered. “You’re willing to take time off just to do nothing?”
“Not nothing. To spend time with you. We can hold each other accountable. You keep me strapped down, and I’ll lie on top of you to make sure you don’t run off to Salineas.”
Tears slowly filled Catra’s eyes, and Adora panicked for a moment before Catra spoke. “You’d... really take time off to spend time with me?”
“Of course.” Adora kissed her gently. “I love you, Catra. And I know we’ve been through a lot and done a lot that doesn’t really... support that, and I want to prove it now. And I want to take care of you.”
The moment of silence between them was comfortable. The same silence they could have spent hours in at one point in their lives. “I love you too,” Catra finally murmured. “Maybe taking some off to spend together wouldn’t be so bad. If only to see you try and relax.”
“Ha. Ha.” Adora grabbed the washcloth and began gently wiping Catra’s face. “Glimmer gave us a month, but I’m pretty sure she’ll be happy if we want to take more. Let’s start with getting you better, then we can figure out what we want to do from there. Okay?”
“Yeah.” Catra snuggled into Adora’s chest, taking a deep breath. “That sounds good.”
It had worked. Adora couldn’t believe it. “So uh... I’m doing this relationship thing pretty good, huh?”
Catra snorted, reaching up to push her face away. “Get over yourself.”
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valkyrieofsmut · 4 years
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Captive Love   16
UF!Sans x Reader (or Frisk if you wanna)
Summary: Sweetheart is a badass. Sans likes it.
A/N: Sorry I'm an idiot and posted the next chapter before this one...! Anyway... Yay!
Masterlist      Series Masterlist
Story
A good morning.
(Y/n) woke as hands moved over her, smoothing over her sides and front. 
"good mornin', sweetheart," a rough voice greeted from near her ear where she could feel Sans nuzzling and nipping. 
She tried to greet him back, but it came out as a pleasured sounding hum as she shifted her hips and felt the pleasant soreness from the night before between her thighs. 
Sans let out a deep chuckle that sent shivers down her spine. "still feel it, huh, sweetheart?" 
She felt her cheeks heat at the reminder of what they'd done. 
"got some more a that 'f ya want it," he told her, his suggestive voice full of heat and promises. 
.
Sans was over her, straddling her thigh once more, boney hand up the loose leg of her shorts. 
He'd tried to get her out of her clothes, but she'd been so shy, ducking her head and pressing her face against him to hide that, he'd given in. 
He'd even tried to tell her that he bet she had the most beautiful body he'd ever seen, but, with a glance down at his own covered chest, he could understand that everyone had something they were nervous about letting others see. 
So he'd ended up here, with his hand up her shorts, fingering her to a quick orgasm as she clutched at his shirt and panted and whined against his clavicle. 
"mmnn, sound so good, sweetheart," he rumbled against her. "that one was quick, huh? let's get ya 'nother one…" 
(Y/n) was sure that if she had completely gotten her voice back by now, and hadn't been trying so hard to stay quiet, she would have lost it by now. 
Sans' finger bones were surprisingly talented, to the point that she wondered if he'd ever been with a human before, or if monsters' anatomys were just so similar it translated well. 
She came again, her teeth digging into his shirt covered clavicle to keep herself quiet. 
Sans let out a low, needy growl at her bite. "ooh, fuck , sweetheart… ya make me wanna straight up ravage that pussy…" 
(Y/n) whimpered, clenching tighter at his sexy, need soaked words. 
His hand had slowed down, gently stroking her through her orgasm so he didn't over stimulate her, and she wondered how long he was planning on doing this, and if he was planning… that , too… 
It would only be fair for him to come, too, after all… 
"SANS!" Papyrus' voice echoed in the hall, and Sans groaned out a sigh as his hand stopped. 
He turned toward the door and called back, "yeah, boss?"
"DON'T SLACK OFF ON YOUR ROUNDS TODAY!"
Sans sighed again. "yeah, boss, got it, don't worry 'bout it," he called back. 
(Y/n) felt both excited and nervous at having Sans' hand still inside her as he spoke to his brother on the other side of the door. 
What if Papyrus got frustrated with the piece of wood and just came in? 
There were no blankets covering where Sans' hand was up her shorts… It would be glaringly obvious what they were doing. 
Sans looked over at her with a smirk and a chuckle at the feel of her nervous clench around his fingers at the thought, and wiggled them inside her, making her bite back a moan. 
"MAKE SURE YOU DO 'GOT IT' SANS, OR I WILL BE FORCED TO… DO SOMETHING DRASTIC!" 
Sans groaned in frustration and pulled his fingers from her, making her whimper at the loss. 
"i'm gettin' up right now, i'll leave in a few minutes, boss, i swear!" 
Papyrus finally left with a "SEE THAT YOU DO!" 
"sorry, dollface, i gotta go ta work," he sighed as he stood from the bed, digging in the clean pile of laundry he'd placed next to, but not in, his dresser to find some clean clothes. 
"Sa-ns," (Y/n) asked hesitantly, and broke off as she wondered how she could have let him touch her like he had been without even a care in the world about getting home and if he was still keeping her here against her will, or just to keep her safe. 
Oh, it was a dirty feeling… 
"yeah, sweetheart?" He asked, pulling a suitable shirt from the pile. 
"I- ...I ahm g-ng hohme, evehntu-lly… rigkh…?" She asked, trying not to sound as nervous as she felt. [I am going home eventually, right?]
Sans looked up at her, pausing in his search for a sock to match the one in his hand. 
Sans really wanted her to stay there with him- but he knew that he couldn't keep her there forever. He'd already witnessed a small dose of her ire, and he had no doubt that it would only get worse the longer it went on. 
He would have to let her go, eventually… eventually being the key word. 
"yeah. yeah, sweetheart," he told her. "gotta make it safe ta make the trip, first…" 
She smiled at him for his response, and it did a little to lift his soul from the ditch of misery it'd fallen into at the thought of her going. 
"C'n Ikh b-rrow y-r phohne?" She asked. [can I borrow your phone?]
Sans looked at her in question as he pulled out the device and unlocked it. 
He handed it to her and went back to searching for his other sock. 
(Y/n) listened as the familiar voice gave the store greeting, asking how she could help her. 
"Hehy, Sally," she greeted. "Who's theh m-nahger todahy?" [hey, Sally, who’s the manager today?]
Sans looked up at that. "heh, you tryna get through ta that idiot at yer work?" 
She nodded in reply. "Okh, graht," she sighed at hearing it was the same manager that had written her off as dead before. "Pahtch m- tkhrough, plehse." [Oh, great. Patch me through, please.]
Sans chuckled as he moved next to her on the bed, looking amused. "i gotta see how far ya get wit 'im." 
(Y/n) switched it to speaker and listened as he gave the store greeting, then said, "hihk Doug. Iht's (Y/n)." [hi Doug, it’s (Y/n)]
He let out a startled, confused stutter, and (Y/n) saw Sans holding back a laugh. 
"H-hi, (Y/n)! I-I heard that you- that you were in monster territory!" Doug exclaimed. 
"Ikh ahm," she answered. [I am.]
"O- oh… Wh- h-how are you calling the store, then?" He asked. 
"Mohnsters hahve phohnes, Doug, theh're not uh strihctly hum'n thihng," she told him. [monsters have phones, Doug, they’re not a strictly human thing.]
A chortle escaped Sans at that. 
"Oh… Um… Well, what can I do for you?" Doug asked. "You need someone to come out there and save you, or…" He trailed off, and (Y/n) was pretty sure it was because he was trying to think of what other reason she could have called, and if he could think of someone else to do it. 
"Noh, Ikh dohn't neehd uh r-scue, Ikh just neehd toh hahve mhy job wh-n Ikh geht bahck," she told him. [no, I don’t need rescue, I just need to have my job when I get back.]
After a moment, Doug told her, "you've missed a bunch of shifts, (Y/n). Lots of no calls no shows." 
"Doh y-u agreeh thaht b-ng in mohnst'r terr-tory as uh human is dahng'rous?" She asked. [Do you agree that being in monster territory as a human is dangerous?]
"Y-yeah," he agreed hesitantly, not sure where this was going. 
"Y-u agreeh that wahlk-ng thr-gh mohnst'r terr-tory would be lihke walk-ng thr-gh uh wahr gr-nd?" She prompted. [You agree that walking through monster territory would be like walking through a war ground?]
"U- uh, y-yeah," he agreed hesitantly again. 
"Thehn y-u agreeh thaht th-s fahlls under any l-w mahk-ng 't 'llehg-l to fihre uh 'mployeeh f-r b-ng tr-pp'd in uh w-r zohne?" She asked. [Then you agree that this falls under any law making it illegal to fire an employee for being trapped in a warzone?]
There was silence on the other end of the line. 
Sans' sockets widened. She could be vicious when she wanted to… 
It kinda turned him on. 
"S-so- do you have an idea of when you'll be back?" Doug asked. 
"W-r 's uh 'nprehd-ctable thihng," she answered, getting irritated that her voice was getting worse and worse with use. [War is an unpredictable thing.]
After she'd hung up, Sans commented, "gettin' tough wit 'em, huh?" 
She shrugged with a sheepish grin. "Thre-t-ng lehg-l 'ction uhs-lly mahkes pehple d' wha's rihght." [Threatening legal action usually makes people do what’s right.]
Sans' tongue flicked over his teeth. It was still turning him on. Especially with that adorable squeak. 
"Ohne mohre c-ll?" She asked. [One more call?]
Luckily, the call to her landlord went much easier, the secretary taking her information and making a note on her account, promising to do what they could about pausing the rent charges, or at least putting any actions on hold. 
When she was done, (Y/n) hung up and handed the phone back to Sans. 
She looked at her hands, rubbing them over each other. "Th-nks, S-ns." [Thanks, Sans]
Sans sat awkwardly for a moment before going back to looking for his other sock. 
The mood had fallen, and his poor sweetheart seemed pretty down. 
"y-you… uh- s-sweetheart, ya wanna come wit me?" He asked, his eyelights focused on the laundry, finally finding a sock. 
(Y/n) looked up at him in question, careful hope in her eyes. "R...lly?" [Really?]
"yeah, doll," he told her, focused on grabbing a pair of shorts. "'s what th' c- ...thing, is fer, after all…" 
The smile that grew on her face as she nodded made his soul throb. 
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ectora · 3 years
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REVIEW 313
took me some time to actually get into that review lmao But i really loved the episode. I know some people will probably have complains about it, but as someone who absolutely loves Abigael, I really liked it. And honestly the fact that abigael was finally included in the main story is not even the reason why. I loved the pacing, it actually felt like Charmed. The stakes, the construction, the format, it was all on point. It was genuinely their best episode alongside 307 (two episodes related to the tomb lmao) and one of their best in the show imo.
I've put it in "hidden" cause it ended up being so long I did not expect that im sorry 😭
SCREEN TIME
Maggie: 29m20s
Macy: 27m36s
Mel: 25m39s
Abigael: 20m17s
Jordan: 10m32s
Harry: 47s
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Not gonna lie, I did not miss Harry this episode. Maybe it's just cause I don't like the way they have been writing both him and Macy this season, way too focused on the relationship, but his story does not really interest me. And I enjoy watching Macy interact with other characters a lot more. I think we could have had a little bit more of Jordan as well.
What I liked
where do i even start. I genuinely enjoyed so many things in this episode.
As said earlier, I really enjoyed the structure of the episode, to me it finally really felt like charmed. The way the episode was done was beautiful and I LOVED the trial in a general manner. They're terrible lawyers, but still loved it lmao
Ok hear me out, the fact they had abigael and macy say what the fan had been saying but reversing the roles was actually sent me lmao
I really enjoyed that they balanced the rights and wrongs of abigael. I'm part of the people who think that overall, most of what she did was not that deep tbh, but the episode allowed to have nuances and hold her accountable for things she did while also recognising that she did good things.
Abigael finally interacting with the sisters. To me, that's the sign of good characters tbh, how they can interact with different other leads/mains and such relationships being interesting. Abimel, i'll talk about it a bit later cause i have lots to say. But AbiMacy ? I absolutely always love their scenes, one of the reasons being that I genuinely think they're the two best actresses in the show and you can really feel it when they're on screen. They have easy chemistry and whatever they are doing, they just work. They also had one of the best potential of the show in terms of dynamic and I will never forgive the writers for ruining this, especially because it's in part because of a man. Anyway, their scenes were amazing to watch and I need more. I was especially happy because let's be honest, if Macy has valid reasons to dislike Abigael, they often miss-portrayed that in the show and it often came across as being mostly based on the whole love triangle between Macy Abi and Harry. But this time it really was not and Macy was quite fair, even reaching the conclusion Abi doesn't belong in there - she does not- and I liked that they actually were fair on Macy's dislike and distrust. Then there was AbiMaggie. Honestly, it's not a relationship i expected to enjoy that much but oh god i love them. I loved them in episode 207 and I still do. They just have such a funny dynamic, I can't even explain it correctly but it just work. They're throwing remarks at each other sure but it's almost in a sweet funny way. Abigael calling Maggie 'Legally Brunette" was so funny and cute at the same time.
Talking about Maggie, I really liked her this episode. I love how she reacts in situations where they need a cold head. She takes the lead, she does what needs to be done and she reaches the goal. I really enjoy seeing her taking that role a little bit more. Especially because to me Maggie was always the one with the most nuanced view on the world which I really appreciate. I loved her speech at the end and she grew so much since season 1, she's really so great. The more we advance in the show, the more she shines.
I really liked what happened at the end with the sisters recognising that they are themselves not perfect and are even chaotic. I have a point about being chaotic for later but anyway. Yes the sisters are not perfect. Honestly, they have done questionable things in the past themselves and often are the cataclysm of new things happening. I think it just makes them more interesting and better characters. Black and white can only get so long. Nuanced, imperfect, that's where the complexity lies and what is more interesting imo.
The perfecti really are good characters. I mean their logic was completely f*cked, but they are so entertaining to watch, it's actually great. I like also that they continued that idea that logic without emotion is dangerous. But in some ways tbh, the Perfecti are not even logical. They want to think they are, but their own logic is flawed and like Macy said, completely lacks context.
Finally the power of three and FINALLY, the plot goes forward. Maybe that's another reason I really enjoyed the episode, the fact that it actually had a good flow, it felt like one constructed episode and it actually advanced the story which cannot be said about a lot of the episodes. So I'm happy that happened.
And finally Abimel. I mean, no one can be surprised Abigael has feelings for Mel tbh, girl has not been subtle about it lmao But that declaration was actually cute and their scene at the bar ?? paralleling the one in season 2, it was so sweet. I just love them tbh, and I really think they could have been the ship a lot of us were waiting for in the sapphic community especially.
Abigael's past. Like I loved learning more about her past and her mom. Obviously her traumatic past does not exempt her from her own actions but I do believe it give strong grounds for redemption. it also gives us a lot of insights in her character. Her mom was an absolute monster and what she did to her was terrible. There is no surprise in Abigael's absolute lack of self worth and her unhealthy coping mechanism. Like her mom basically spent her life telling her she was deficient and then punished her for something she had no control on whatsoever. She punished Abigael for her own action and her own liaison with a demon. She probably projected her anger about that relationship on the child that came out of it and it's absolutely horrifying. Like no wonder Abigael is not fond of witches and went into the demon side tbh. Like that's not surprising at all. It also explains why she was so against the idea of witch = good that the sisters keep perpetuating because that's simply not what she experienced. Again, it does not excuse everything she did but I do believe it helps understand the character better and that ultimately, it gives space for a redemption. And again, kuddo to both poppy and the actress who played her mom. First that was great casting and it was really well played.
Remarks
To be honest, I don't really have things I genuinely disliked so I'm more gonna do like a section where i could criticise some of the aspect which to me did not necessarily made sense but were often still funny, and who knows maybe done on purpose. It's gonna be a mix of a little bit of everything.
One of the first thing I was kinda confused on was their use of the term chaos. Because, well, chaos doesn't equate evil. But that's the angle they started taking at the beginning which to me was confusing. It didn't make the episode bad, but the more I think about it, the more I'm like the defence they were going with had nothing to do with the charges 😭 Like, the sisters tried to prove that basically Abigael was a good person. But the charges were that she was chaotic. and by the end of the episode we did reach that kind of point where they said everyone was chaotic and everything - which i liked - but also didn't really match the angle they took the entire episode. Because, I personally never saw Abi as evil. But she is 100% chaotic like that girl is the definition of chaotic and I love her for it. But her doing good or bad is not necessarily what makes her chaotic. Good deeds can be as chaotic as bad ones. For example, Abi binding her own power could be considered as good by some people (it's not really but you see what I mean) but by doing so, she would lose the title of overlord and therefore end the treaty. In that case the war would start and that would definitely be chaotic. If she was to stay overlord however, and control the demon world, which can be seen as bad i guess, she is keeping the war from happening and stopping attacks toward witches and innocents, which is the contrary of chaotic. So yeah, the angle they took did not actually make that much sense cause the two are not the same.
Not gonna lie, bringing Godrik up was so weird to me cause like he tried to kill her first and they all know it, yet she was the one said to try to murder him and I was like ? did we all forgot what happened ? 😭
Some of the things brought by the perfecti - such as her killing those humans or demons - seemed weird because like, the sisters did the same in the past 😭 But also that's part of the whole lack of context aspect I guess.
No they really used Francesca as a witness out of all the people in the world like the woman is a whole child abuser who asked help to the elders, which have been established as like, not good people lmao I know it was part of the whole the perfecti are very selective on the information they actually take into account and they use the information as well as twist them to fir their own narrative but still it came across as weird because that woman was the definition of evil. But that's also what ticked the sisters so well.
Why did they not call Harry to testify was also kinda like ... weird. I mean at the same time I can't really complain but still, it was a bit odd. Also the fact they never thought about showing what was abigael actually doing with Jordan lmao I mean it wouldn't go along with the plot but still.
Ok, that take is subject to controversy and I know it but anyway : to me, Abi stealing Macy's power was ... not that deep. Don't get me wrong, the story was bad. The execution was even worse. In the show itself tho, objectively, as an act, it was not that bad. It actually made a lot of sense for Abigael to take it for herself. Macy wanted to get rid of her demon powers, no one was forcing her. And Abigael actually asked her multiples times if she was sure. Macy definitely had her reasons to do so. But at the end of the day, Abi picking them up when they were gonna disappear in thin air is really not that bad. It's logical. Don't get me wrong I'm glad Macy is getting them back, but I also think there has been a lot of mix up between the actual act of stealing the powers and the way it was done/optics ( I still don't understand how anyone wrote that scene and was like, yeah kneeling is a good idea ??? Like what's wrong with you 😭). But like ultimately, the act itself is not bad. questionable ? sure. Evil ? really not. Like let's be honest here. Abigael never hid who she was (past ep3 obviously). She did not pretend to be an angel, nor that she was a good samaritan. At the end of day, the sisters knew who she was and how she worked. They came to her knowing this. At some point, there is a need to acknowledge that, she was no angel, but they knew that and still went to her. She said it herself, she is used to fight for herself, and she'll sting to protect herself first - which i personally don't really hold again a character. If you go in bed with a scorpion, you can't ignore the fact there is a chance you're gonna get stung. Plus, when Abigael "stung" she also actually still gave them what they wanted/needed. I personally never saw self interest negating a good action. I don't really care if she gets something out of helping. Like at the end of the day, why wouldn't she take them ? In some ways however I do understand why Macy would be mad, she asked for help and she didn't realise Abigael stole them and she doesn't like abigael in the first place so why would she be ok with Abi taking them. That's valid too. But objectively, it was more a she was offended and mad that Abi herself had them more than a it's a terrible thing to do kinda feeling. So like it's a bit of a weird situation because Macy being annoyed and mad is valid but at the same time, it's really not that bad in itself. But overall that story should have never existed in the first place. And certainly not happen like this.
Abimel. I loved it but I also have issues with it. Mostly based on the fact we learned Poppy was leaving the show. And not gonna lie, I cant stop myself from feeling like it was almost a bit .. baity if I dare say. They had basically admitting having feelings for Mel and low key hoping it could lead somewhere when honestly, if she's leaving, they did not need to make it romantic. Because honestly, watching this episode not knowing she would leave ? You'd definitely could think it's happening, especially with all the other hints in the past. They could have made it like more about how Mel was the one giving her a real benefit of the doubt and they had a connexion and she wanted to be worthy of that. It would not be romantic. Especially cause she admitted caring about all sisters so it would have worked. Again, don't get me wrong, I want the most Abimel i can get lmao but also it feels a little weird. It's complicated. 😭
Jordan is definitely coming back, I just wonder what are going to be the circumstances. I completely understand why my boy needed a break. Like their time in the tomb was long. We don't exactly know how time works there but remember, in episode 7 when the sisters were stuck, the normal time was like what ? hours ? while in the tomb it was days for Maggie. So there it was days in normal time so in the tomb ? could potentially feel like weeks, months even. So yeah, give him a break and some time to breath. I know they're dragging this whole Joggie thing but because of Covid i also understand and will let it go. I really like them tho.
Abi has some alcohol problems I feel like should maybe be talked about. Like she uses it as an escape, as a way to numb her feelings. There is a reason it was used to symbolise her submitting herself to the tomb. And her first reaction after leaving the tomb was drinking. When she feels unhinged or vulnerable ? She drinks ? When she lost the title of overlord ? She drank. Alcohol is her escape which is a bit worrying.
Not about the episode but I think it needs to be brought up. I've seen people trying to say they brought up the abuse storyline for abigael out of nowhere and like. Listen I completely understand not trying to give more thoughts to a character you dislike, that's fair enough. But saying that storyline is out of nowhere is just a lie. The only new elements we had here were the details of the abuse she went through. They showed the clip again in the episode, where Abigael talks to Mel about her mom. She rejected her, she made her felt, deficient, wrong. All that is emotional abuse. She said her mom tried to fix her which can easily be thought about physical abuse. Like none of these things were new. To be honest, not a single thing they clarified/established for abigael this episode does not follow up with what was in the show in the past. Her feelings for Mel were honestly rather obvious at this point. Her not wanting TCO to get hurt ? There is literally a scene where Godrik tells her it's her head or the sisters and she never really even thought about throwing the sisters under the bus. She even asked who knew and it's easy to think it's because if no one knew she could put it under the rug. Again, it's fair enough for people to dislike her to not try to put more thoughts into her motivations or scenes in a general manner, but then you can't really say things are out of the blue.
And most importantly, I'm sorry, I don't care if you dislike the character, but if you dismiss the abuse just because of the dislike, that's a problem. What a character goes through in her past does not, in any way, have to change your opinion about them. Whatsoever. However when it comes to issues like child abuse, the bare minimum would be to be respectful of the subject and not say "she deserved it", "should have done more" or just say you don't care cause that changes nothing. Again, it doesn't have to change anyone's opinion at all and it does not excuse behaviours, but man, minimal respect is not that hard.
Highlights
This episode genuinely had such funny moments, i loved it.
« Is this a hard time to admit I failed debate in high school ? » and « could the defendant keep her commentary to herself » competing with each other for the funniest part of the episode. The delivery was perfect on both part. And Abi and Macy interactions are always so good and them bantering more or less seriously all the time is sending me. Macy was just so annoyed with her, i loved it.
« Need something legally brunettes » I said it already but I loved that little scene between AbiMaggie and that line particularly.
Abigael went from saying "I could care less about any of you" to "because I deeply care about her" followed by a whole ass declaration AND admitting she does actually care about all of them. My girl got absolutely played and it was genuinely so funny. Like Abigael was so freaking smug about testifying against herself and she got played so hard, she was SO annoyed it was actually hilarious.
"Every battle I fought, I fought alone" like excuse me while I'll go cry in a corner. Again, Poppy has been absolutely killing her role this season.
"Your arguments are illogical" the perfecti have such audacity like girl have you heard yourself ? 😭 no one is being less logical than you right now.
Lmao when Macy said Abigael belonged into the tomb, Mel was not agreeing 😭 And Maggie was having none of the drama either she just wanted out.
The sisters realising they had to be Abi's character witnesses lmao it was hilarious pleas idc.
Theories
With Poppy Drayton leaving, there are two theories I kinda have. Obviously Abigael is either gonna die or leave. Ngl, I can feel the dying one coming more but well, that brings the two theories.
Abigael would sacrifice herself. Which I don't like but honestly let's be honest, there are 95% chances of that happening. I could see her sacrifice herself for Mel or for the sisters in general. But that's where my abimel issues are coming. I love abimel. I want the most abimel i can have until the end. But Abigael admitting have feelings for Mel just in the purpose of having her sacrifice herself for her and to be 'worth it' ? that's not only a byg trope, it's also lazy.
If she just leave, which wouldn't really make sense to be honest cause why would she just leave, would she give up the title of overlord (why even) or would they bound her powers (i would hate that) ? but anyway, if that's the case, I could actually see her learn Waverly is not actually the one rejecting her. Waverly could very possibly not be the one who communicated with Jordan and the sisters. No one ever saw her, the letters are only signed by her name. It's a bit sus tbh, so nothing stops it from being Francesca actually impersonating her daughter to keep her away from Abigael.
I want to know more about the perfecti. We know they killed charmed ones before, and it doesn't seem like charmed ones existed when they were created ? Maybe the charmed ones were created after they went into the tomb ? I still am not sure about them going into the tomb by themselves tbh. But also they don't seem to be evil in the sense they want power or whatever, more in the fact like they consider themselves perfect and that if someone stands in their way, they'll just get rid of them.
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words-for-holland · 4 years
Text
Happier (5) | T.H.
Summary: Harry and Harrison made it to New York without witnesses. One secret is revealed and a relationship could be broken up for good. What will the future hold for Y/N and Tom?
A/N: Everybody buckle up and grab your tissues, we’re in for a bumpy ride. Lemme know how you feel after this! Was it what you expected??
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8
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Guilt
It’s one thing to keep a secrets, but it’s another thing when you’re hiding it from the people you love. For Kate, she was becoming consumed in her own guilt as each day passed. Everyday her breaths would shorten, her heartbeat quicken, and her conscience relentlessy invading her inner thoughts. Kate tried to find all the possibilities to avoid the truth, and make everyone happy...but it didnt matter. One way or another, someone was going to get hurt.
Kate stood in front of Harrison and Harry at her doorstep. While she was relieved and excited to see them, a slight tinge of fear was present. “How are you going to find out the truth?” She asks calmly as Harrison and Harry made their way into the apartment. Kate picked up her phone, checking for an message. None showed up.
“Well, we might have found something. A clue maybe, but we’re not sure.” Harry explained as he picked up his macbook, turning it on.
“Is Y/N here?” Harrison asked, and as if on cue she appeared, heavy bags under her eyes.
The moment Y/N laid eyes on the two, she couldn’t believe it. Her hands quickly rubbing the sleep from her eyes, almost convinced it was a dream. “What? Harry? Harrison? What are you guys doing here?” Y/N excitedly asks. She made her way towards the boys giving them a long awaited hug. “I missed you guys.” She whispers.
“We want to help you.” Harrison says as he pulled away. “The unknown number? We might have an idea.”
Y/N looked at them suspiciously, checking her phone for cryptic messages. “Does anyone know you’re here?”
They both shook their head. “We didn’t tell anyone back home. As far as anyone knows, Harrison and I are going on a 3 day hike with little reception.” Harry reassured her with his boyish smile. Y/N look at him with admiration. He may not look like his brother, but his tone had Tom written all over it.
“Great. Just make sure your location is off on your phones..they could be watching us.” Kate warned as she checked her phone again.
Harrison looked at Kate with sympathy. In the years he’s known her because of Y/N and Tom’s relationship, she always seemed to be the sweetest most loyal friend out there. He was happy that Y/N had someone like Kate in her life. Not to mention it was also a plus that she was fairly pretty, even with the worry written all over face, she was still beautiful to Harrison.
“Hey.” Harrison spoke out for Kate’s attention. “We’re gonna figure this out. I promise.” While Kate nodded, she silently knew that this was not going to end well.”
“Wait...so Tom? Is he—?” Y/N asks the boys with anticipation.
Harrison knowing, exactly what Y/N was asking before she could even finished answered swiftly. “No! Of course not!” He laughs as if it was the silliest thing to answer. “Y/N, Tom loves you. He still does.”
“But the pictures..”
“Was a PR stunt set by Natalie’s publicists.” Harrison finished. “He’s doing a project that Natalie somehow got involved in, and they wanted a PR relationship to sell it. He didn’t want to at first, but then they showed him pictures of you and some div.”
“Hey he’s not some div! Matt’s a good guy.” Y/N defends. “Sweet actually, but I turned him down at the end of it. We’re just friends.”
Then it clicked. “Wait. You said that Tom saw the pictures?” Y/N asked trying to piece it together. “How did he get pictures?”
Harry and Harrison took a moment to think it through. “Well...Natalie’s publicist showed it to Tom.” Harry answered.
“But we don’t know where she got the pictures from.” Harrison added. “My money was on Natalie...still is.”
“Cmon mate. There’s no way she could have gotten pictures in New York and suddenly fly back to London.”
Kate slowly made her way to her own room, no longer wanting to be part of the conversation. They were getting too suspicious, and the more they questioned, the more nervous she got.
“Well maybe the unknown number sent it.” Harry said as he continued to be deep in his thoughts. “Or they found out on that fan account you found Harrison.”
“Wait? Fan account? They know?!” Y/N freaked out. Three years into making sure she was kept in the shadows, and it went all down the drain. If it there were fan accounts then it would only make it harder to finding out who really did sabotage her relationship. Let alone everyone’s lives.
“We don’t know yet, but Harrison found a fan account that was posting about Tom and you. Not together at least, but seperately. The weird part is...barely few people follow it, so we’re not sure what it means.” Harry explained, as he tried to pull up the account. “Oh no.”
“What? What do you mean ‘Oh no’?” Harrison panicked.
“I cant find the account.” Harrison said as he tried to pull it up, but the page disappeared.
In the nick of time, a message was sent to all three of them.
Unknown
Looks like you’re back to square 1 ❤️
“Shit! How did they know?” Harrison questioned in anger. “We were this close!”
“It’s okay Harrison. I appreciate that you guys tried, but it’s a lost cause.” Y/N consoled him, rubbing his shoulder.
“It won’t be. We’ll find another way.” Harry encouraged as he hugged them both. “By the way, where’s Kate gone?”
All three looked up to notice she was missing. Y/N waved it off, assuming it was just one of those days. “She probably went to bed early. Kate gets tired easily, nowadays. It might be because of her new job on top of watching out for me. Its a lot to take on for a person.”
The reasoning seemed valid enough Harrison and Harry. Plus it was Kate they were talking about, she always had Y/N’s back from day one, she wouldnt blackmail any of them or ruin Y/N and Tom’s relationship..right?
Late in the night, Harrison had trouble sleeping because of the jetlag. Since it only was a medicore 2 bedroom apartment, Harrison and Harry slept in the living room on the sofa bed. Luckily it was big enough for the both them and they didnt have to resort to cuddling. Harrison lied on his back as he looked out to the NYC view, thinking about everything and nothing at all. He smiled, thinking about it all. For a very serious couple, a lot of shit has gone down and yet here he was with trying to save it. He cared about the two so deeply, they were his family and family never turns their back on the other.
Then he heard something, whispers coming from the hall. Harrison didn’t dare to make a move but he trained his ears to listen carefully at the voice.
“Im telling you they are getting suspicious.” The voice whispered into the phone. It sounded like Kate’s and Harrison continued to listen in.
“No.No. I sent the damn pictures to you for a reason. No one told me that they would come here. I wasn’t prepared for that.” Kate continues as she paces in the corner.
Pictures? Harrison was awake more than ever, as he quickly shook Harry, and told him to stay quiet. They continued to listen.
“Look I did everything I was told to do. She got what she wanted, now —” Kate stopped in her tracks as she saw Harry and Harrison in front of her. Immediately she dropped the call, her lips moving, unable to find the words.
“How could you?” Harry said his brown eyes glaring at at the girl who just betrayed her best friend. “She was your best friend! How could you?!” He spoke louder.
Kate tried her best to quiet them down, but there was the point. She knew this day would come. “You don’t understand.” Kate whispers, looking at the ground. “I was only doing this to protect Y/N.”
“Protect Y/N? Blackmailing her? Sending pictures of her and a guy to Tom, so he would turn against her? That’s protecting her?” Harrison questioned, hurt by her actions. If he was hurt, then surely It would hurt Y/N far worse.
Y/N comes out of her room as she sees the three gather together, glaring at each other. “Hey..w-what’s going in?” She asks nervously.
“Why don’t you tell her Kate?” Harry spits out as he gestures to Y/N. Kate looks into her best friend’s eyes tears welling up. Y/N had fear struck into her face, afraid of what she had to say.
“I’m so sorry.” She cries. “I didn’t have a choice. She would have ruined our friendship if I did.”
“Kate. What.Did.You.Do?” Y/N asks, emphasizing each word to the question.
Kate shook her head as she let out a deep sigh. “Im the reason your pictured with Matt got out Tom.”
Y/N shook her head, tears streaming. She didn’t want to believe it. “Please tell me you’re lying.”
“Im sorry Y/N. I swear I didnt mean for this to get out of hand. I was threatened that if I didn share them, then they would say something that could ruin our friendship..and...I didnt want that to happen.” Kate frantically explains, sobbing at her no good explanation.
Y/N shook her head, her face switching from sadness to anger. “Looks like you didn’t need them to ruin it at all for you. Now you’re gonna tell me what you know and then Im packing my stuff and Im moving out.”
Kate sobbed as she try to plead to her ex-bestfriend to stay. “Look I’ll tell you everything okay, but it’s not much.” She takes a deep breath before she continues. “I was the one that started the rumors and created the fan account Harry and Harrison saw.”
“Why?” Y/N asks, her disappointed face unchanging.
“I was jealous of you at the time. Y/N you had everything I could have ever wanted in my life. A job, a boyfriend that doesn’t leave you, a family that loves you, and the fame which you didn’t even want to accept with open arms. You were always a step ahead of me at something and I was tired of it. So when you told me you felt uneasy about Natalie when she first moved in, I sold that info online and twisted the story so that it looked like Tom liked Natalie and they were a potential couple.”
“Oh my god.” Harrison said as he let his head down. “You made Natalie think that Tom was in love with her secretly thats why she had become so persistant.”
Kate slowly nodded as she took another breath. “As for the fan accounts I can’t tell you much because I was just asked to create them by the Unknown number.”
“Wait so you’re not the unknown number?” Harry asked confused.
Kate shook her head. “I don’t who it is. Im just a vicitim as much as you guys are.”
“No cut that bullshit. It’s because of you that all of our lives are a mess. It’s because of you that I had to lose the most important thing in my life. So don’t say you’re a fucking victim when all you really did was try to save your own ass.” Y/N yelled.
“You didn’t have to if you were so confident in your relationship with Tom.” She spat back.
“I love Tom with all my heart, but I was referring my best friend. I never want to see you again.” Y/N states, emotionless. No one had ever seen Y/N like this. In fact no one had ever seen her mad as she was on this very day. The day she lost her best friend.
Y/N went to her room to quickly gather her belongings, stuffing them back in the bag. Her phone was ringing and she didnt hesitate to pick it up.
“Tom...” she answers, holding back her sobs.
Taglist:
@hollanddolanfangirl​ @ifilosemyselfagain @hevjadams @averyfosterthoughts​ @fangirl-with-a-mission @drishtisikarwar @eridanuswave​ @ifntelyinspirit​ @trumpettay @astridcommings @parkershoco @racewife2004 @sleepybesson
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mycptsdrecovery · 3 years
Note
TW for abuse, mental health crisis, unreality, mental hospital mention
hi im a 19 year old and still living with my parents. ive been trying to move out since august and i planned to move out by december. in late december i was not having much luck with housing and i started having memories of not so great things my parents did to me throughout the years play in my head. i rly have no idea how to explain this confusing clusterfuck of a situation in just a tumblr ask but basically i want to know if the things my parents did count as sexual abuse.
from a young age my parents didnt respect my boundaries. my parents often touched my butt (it sounds so stupid calling it that idk what else to put) in seemingly nonsexual or accidental ways, but they didnt stop as i grew older. i remember the first time that i realised i was being sexually abused (thats how i thought about it at the time, idk). i dont remember what my dad did specifically but i was 8 years old-ish, i started puberty around then because my body hates me. it was probably to do with my butt/waist/ things and my dad touching them. we were about to go in a shuttle to the airport, it was like 2am. i remember i stayed silent through whatever happened but at some point during or after i remember bursting into tears and like... thinking to myself that my dad is sexually abusing me (i dont remember where i learnt what that is) and my dad asking me what was wrong but i refused to talk because i was scared. moments like these where my dad touched me in a way that didnt feel normal and i burst into tears happened multiple times. ive felt very uncomfortable around my dad for most of my life at this point. hes the kind of dad who doesnt talk about anything hes thinking or feeling, doesnt talk much at all or have many friends. we have rarely had conversations past surface level talk thats appropriate for strangers or acquaintances so i have never known whats in his head and whenever ive tried to get him to talk with me about something serious he shuts down and leaves. hes very neglectful emotionally, though he used to sometimes fulfil his emotional duties as a parent when i was a very young child according to my mum but he stopped at some point. for a really long time ive been afraid that my dad was sexualising me in his head or sexually attracted to me. ive grown up having nightmares about my parents raping me.
here are some of the things i remember my parents doing. some memories are not easily accessable and some have not been processed as an adult.
TW
-both my parent regularly touched my butt in a variety of contexts. i never confronted my dad about it because i knew he wouldnt answer me. i have learned to only hug my parents in a specific way so that my arm is always under their arms so i can stop them from putting their hands too low.
-my dad used to put his hand on my waist and hips/lower back. he was basically doing the kind of casual touch that you would do with someone ur in a sexual relationship with. he doesnt anymore because i have stopped allowing him to spend much time with me.
-my parents, mostly my mum have touched my breasts very lightly and casually. it could be seen as accidental but my mum has never responded to my frequent requests to stop touching me like this.
-my mum showed me her vagina once as... sex ed? i have no idea if this is normal which is kinda how i feel about most of the ?sexually? themed things my parents have done.
-my mum has always commented on my body in ways that made me very uncomfortable, such as often commenting on how i would be sexually harassed because of the outfit im wearing, even the necklace im wearing.
-my mum gave me several moderately detailed accounts of sexual assaults that hve happened to her, like for instance when i was around 6-9? she used a story of a sexual assault that happened to her while in a pool to say that i be afraid in public pools. the amount of detail was very unnecessary.
-one time my mum was telling me about how boys pinch girls buttcheeks to tell them they think theyre 'sexy'. then she pinched my buttcheeks a bunch of times even though i didnt want her to. im sure she did this many times and i was literally like 5 years old or something.
-my mum talked to my sister while i was in earshot about... how she would be ok with it if i married my 1st cousin? and she named him specifically. it made me feel rly weird around him.
-again my dad has always just given me huge predator vibes and ive always been super afraid of him.
this list is definitely incomplete but i dont remember anything penetrative or to do with anyone touching my genitals.
i tried to tell someone about the "sexual abuse" twice when i was 13, both during mental ward stays about 9 or 10 months apart. the first time is completely blacked out from my memory and the second one... they told the police. my dad was questioned and nothing happened because i never wanted anyone except the nurse who i told to know and refused to tell anyone any details. i just wanted to get a weight off my shoulders. instead i got a 3 or so year long period of my mum emotionally abusing me to a degree she never had. i was almost completely convinced that i had never been sexually abused. i still dont know if its true or not. the specific term my mum used was that i "mis-interpreted" my parents actions as sexual abuse. i didnt push back, i was too terrified of her and i just dissociated to cope with those years. i was very very isolated from anyone except my mum. i wanted desperately to be a young child again and felt like one most of the time. before 6 years old was the only period where i felt like my parents actually liked me.
when i was around 15 i started sexually getting involved with older men online. i wasnt attracted to them, i didntdesire them, i just was so traumatised from... whatevrr u want to call the way my parents treated me but i didnt feel that i had the right to be. i felt like i needed to get some "real" trauma and i dont want to say what i did but im lucky that none of these men ended up meeting up with me irl at least. the fucked up thing is that though it did traumatise me, i kind of felt better because i wanted something i could feel justified in being upset about.
now im 19 and my brain is hitting me with all these memories. i havent felt safe with my parents for most of my life. theyre neglectful and emotionally abusive towards me. they abused all my other siblings physically quite a lot and two of them have moved to different countries so that they can not live in the same place they grew up in. 2 out of 3 of my siblings have completely cut ties with my parents for years now. when i was 11 i recoeved an email from my brother telling me about our parents not being safe people.
ive started to consider the possibility of the constant violation of my boundaries counting as sexual abuse. i have a lot of sexual trauma symptoms and i have for a very long time. i grew up afraid that my dad was going to rape me. i think i was abused by my mum into associating holding my parents accountable with the punishment she put me through after she found out i reported them. i just want to know if im allowed to be upset about this. im terrified that this is normal, because if its normal that means i was a gross freak as a kid who just "mis-interpreted" these actions to be sexual abuse. i need to make sense of my reality somehow. im so confused.
you absolutely have the right to be upset by this. what they did to you was not okay. an adult touching a child intentionally in inappropriate areas is molestation, even if they played it off as not a big deal. many of the things you mentioned also sound like grooming which is often a part of childhood sexual abuse. i’m so sorry these things happened to you. i hope you are safe and can find a way to not be around your parents.
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elux-storage · 3 years
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Not to be too Serious about warrior cats but it’s kinda weird to frame a story about a mother being cheated on + turned away and abandoned against her? Like Mapleshade was not justified in her actions at all but to act like everyone else in the story was innocent is really shitty
literally never said that anyone in this book was a good guy. freckle shouldnt have just assumed her brother was the father of maples kits and attacked her for it, apple was a piece of shit for cheating on maple, the clans shouldnt have just exiled her, and her kits dying did make me sad if only because They're Kits and they themselves did not deserve it
however id just like to add that nobody in that story even deserved to die. frecklewish was grieving for her brother and never wanted harm to come to the kits even if she didn't like them or maple, ravenwing was doing his duty as a medicine cat to interpret visions and inform the clan of anything related to it, although cheating is awful it is not a thing to be punishable by death, and the tension between riverclan and thunderclan was extremely high due to their last battle where appledusk (assumingly) killed a thunderclan cat, that cat being the clan leaders son.
everything mapleshade did she brought onto herself. her meeting with appledusk and having kits with him was a choice she made. she never corrected frecklewish when she assumed who the father of the kits was. she's the one who distanced herself from her clanmates, she never thought fondly of any of them. she never even thought fondly of her own kits :/ she always planned to use them to get appledusk to stay with her. and ultimately it was her decision to try crossing the river in the middle of a flood with her kits.
yes, i think losing them effected her in a big way, but not in the normal way a grieving mother would react. id argue to say she saw their deaths as lost potential for her own future. even in book after their deaths she tried using them dying as sympathy points to apple and riverclan, obviously when apple denies her and riverclan wont accept a thunderclan cat to live with them, it makes her very angry.
she's made mistake after mistake after mistake, being with apple, distancing herself from her clanmates, lying, crossing the river, and she never holds herself accountable for any of it because she's always held herself superior above everyone else.
anyways the short of this ramble is that mapleshade is not a character you're supposed to sympathize with, throughout her entire book she was just rude and self absorbed, and while not everyone in this story was in the right mapleshade was the one who decided to lie and murder.
( also in the second half of her novella it tries to push that because she was so deep in grief/anger she could hear the voices of her dead kits and it ultimately led to her murder spree to try to get the voices to go away, and id just like to say it's an extremely ableist take on her story so im electing to ignore it lol )
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