#because i saw a quote on tumblr and was !! that's so cool who wrote that

[olderthannetfic]

I kinda understand “minors don’t interact” and similar things, but one thing I always laugh at is “don’t tag as [thing].” You know — the whole don’t tag posts with the word queer in them as q slur, don’t tag not-inherently-shippy art as ship, don’t tag character posts as kin, etc. First of all, what would you do if someone DOES tag it like that? Call the cops? Second of all, people are gonna tag things however they want, you’re gonna have to deal with that on a website like tumblr.

There’s a similar phenomenon on Twitter where people say “don’t quote retweet”/“don’t private quote retweet” (which is especially funny cuz everyone is gonna see that and go on their private accounts and quote retweet with nonsense to piss you off, lmao)

Like if you’re really SO FUCKING SCARED of your gay post being tagged as #q slur, your Death Note edit being tagged as #Lawlight, your fanart being tagged as #kin, you probably shouldn’t be on the internet. Do you have the right to not view queer as a slur, the right to not ship whatever, the right to not like fictionkin? Of course! But people also have the right to disagree with you and tag your post however the fuck they want. One time I saw someone tag one of my cosplays as [character] faceclaim, and I was a little bit weirded out, but overall it was harmless. I never once considered adding a banner saying not to tag my likeness as a faceclaim, because if I really want to prevent anyone from doing that, the solution will be for me to not show my face online.

Small tangent: When I was younger I used to have a private sideblog that was basically just a venting diary. No one had the password, and, because it was private, my URL wouldn’t show up in the notes if I reblogged something to that blog. Basically, no one knew the blog existed. And I remember sometimes I would see a cool post on my dash, or in tags, and it would be tagged as #dont reblog (this was before tumblr had the option to limit reblogs obviously). And if the post was cool (or edgy, because like I said… vent blog) and I was sad that I “couldn’t” reblog it, I’d reblog it to the side blog, where OP would never know 😭 Rebellious as hell wasn’t I?

That being said — and this might contradict everything I just wrote — I do think people that brag about not reading/not following DNIs are also a bit obnoxious. Not people who just make statements that they don’t read them, but people who make it known how much they hate their existence. It just seems kinda edgelord-y? Idk. Obviously it’s fine to not read them or like them but making it a huge statement is just like…ok? Congratulations? Should we throw you a party? Should we invite Elon Musk?

I have followers—and follow people—who have “Antis DNI” in their bio. I also have followers and follow people who have “Proshippers DNI” in their bio. No one will ever know what side I’m on 😜😜😜😜

--

[winderlylandchime]

Hi! I hope you’re doing well and that your trip is good and fun. But holy shit, i hope you and your partner manage to stay covid free! I’m sending some healing thoughts to your SIL since covid absolutely sucks!

Also a few things i do have to say because you need to know (most of them i was told to tell you guys): we went to the doctor yesterday and he was proudly wearing his new shirt. Everyone found it hilarious and accurate portrayal of him/his year. And then he told the whole office (2 doctors and 3 nurses) that he is now famous on the internet because i told bunch of people about him watching the show. And the doctor who is in charge of his case (the guy who did the surgery lol), looked at me, pointed at him and slowly went ‘you made him other people’s problem?’ And my brother proudly said ‘Yes, she did! *realized what was said* heeeeey, i can be quite a delight, just ask the people on the no porn site’ (yes, that is how he told them about tumblr). And my brother wanted me to let you all know that his cast has to stay on for another week, so he is very sad about that BUT the big news that he immediately looked at me (in the office in front of them btw) and went ‘you gotta tell my new homies about this’ was that in two weeks he has his final check up with his surgeon bc he wants to do all tests one last time and then if all is good which they believe will be, he can officially go home and back to his whatever tf normal life is for him. So looks like I’m losing my two roommates soon. Shit will be boring ngl.

Then the other more important thing! My brother had your blog opened on his tag, but i guess he went to check out the rest of the blog because he walked in this morning and went ‘did you fucking know that they write stories?! About Brian and Blondie? WHAT IS THIS? AND THERES SO MANY FUCKING COOL GIFS TOO. LIKE SHIT TON OF THEM! I saw one where Gale was talking in that interview about Prom and Blondie from that panel and then there were gifs from the episode and behind the scenes with it! That had to take for fucking ever! Do people just make them all the time? See? when *puts out one hand* Fandom and *puts out the other hand* love, come together *puts his hands together* beautiful things come to life.’

So he is currently going through your ao3/bookmarks but i did tell him to read your other fics before the new one.. Btw he didn’t move from the couch for a few hours after he discovered it. His favorites so far are: we didn’t know we could reach the stars (he thought that one was a very accurate portrayal of what Brian and Justin would be like if the writers didnt ruin it), clothes mean nothing until someone lives in them (he really enjoyed that one btw. He especially thought the ‘not the first boy to jerk off to thoughts of Brian in this bed’ was clever as fuck and literally went ‘ooohhh shit’ when he read it)

and Youre like a tattoo (he gasped when he realized the plot and went ‘ITS REVERSED!’). And when he finally made it to your new fic he fucking lost it (he had a tiny report on it)

I did show him your replies from previous messages and here’s the message from the guy himself (read this as if youre listening to a very caffeinated person pacing up and down, for accurate pov): I was a breath of fresh air for them? Fucking hell, so this fandom is in like a hibernation, huh? I’m fucked, aren’t I? Well anyway, thank you stranger for very sweet words. I fuck with this person! I think we’d be friends. I FUCKING LOVE LITTLE EDIE! Me and (his best friends name) always quote the ‘It was quite the scandal actually. It was in all the magazines at the time’ in Jinx’s voice whenever some random shit is asked. Them and their spouse sound like they’re fucking fun to be around. Wait you gotta tell them I read the stories they wrote, i’m still reading other people’s shit, i have a lot to catch up to. But that one that isn’t done yet is fucking brilliant. I mean they all are but I read that one twice! I had to watch the reunion episode from season 3 because it made me all nostalgic when they got back together. It’s exactly how I’d like the show to be. Its nice to read and go mhm thats my bri bri, unlike in the show where it was not my bri but an imposter. I also very much fuck with older Brian who has a beard and glasses. Because he looked pretty as fuck in that little comic con video. I’m excited to see how they end it and i really really hope that they had fun writing these stories because i had a lot of fun reading them. Anyway, tell them, they’re fucking cool, their stories are fucking dope, i also really liked that one about them sharing their clothes AND THE ONE WHERE BLONDIE WAS THE SUGAR DADDY! I fucking told you that will happen..i was just wrong as to where. And im glad to see that the *lifts his cast* ally, is catching on.

PS, we both got all ‘awwww’ and a little emotional ngl, when we read your response how you’ve been thinking of us while writing. And just so you know we spent all day today discussing your fics (when he got to the cliffhanger, he went ‘i am once again being teased just like with the love confession’) and some other fics from other creators that he read and enjoyed. The man is in awe. Every time he’d read a new chapter/fic he goes ‘this is the best thing ive read’ over and over.

Hello hello hello dear sweet anon and brother anon!

Thank you for your well wishes. My SIL tested negative this morning so we are officially in the clear (and can abandon our masks). I think we did a good job being responsible within the circumstances. Luckily, my SIL’s symptoms never got bad and the cold I arrived with (was it a cold or an intense allergic reaction to cleaning my apartment and kicking up all that dust?) never evolved into anything more unpleasant.

I love that we’re not the people on the “no porn site.” And we do all think he’s delightful. I’m glad he’s recovering well and can soon live independently from you but I imagine life will be a lot quieter and less chaotic without him and feline BriBri.

Yes! Gifs allow us to relive every moment of the series, draw parallels etc. Let’s give a hand to @sophsun1 who is basically carrying the fandom on her back with her beautiful gifs.

I am absolutely floored by his reaction to my fics. Thank you so much for passing along the kind words he had. I’m glad he like the 5+1 clothes sharing fic (I have such a soft spot for it), and We Didn’t Know We Could Reach the Stars is such an overlooked fic (I forget I wrote it!). AND of course Tattoo was my beloved fic this year.

The fandom isn’t in hibernation so much as it is small and basically zero new content has been released in eons and so it is a small fandom with nowhere near the works produced that large currently or recently active fandoms have (tbh those fandoms intimidate me - I will read GO fic but joining a discord or writing fic in there? so scary!).

“It was quite the scandal really…” is the other quote I say to my spouse on hair wash / hair turban days! I like to think we *are* fun to be around. Especially if quote RPDR S5 is your idea of fun. Then we’re a blast!

I do have fun writing fics. I bitch and moan and complain, but I love writing them and getting to put them out into the world. I’m even more excited to write and post the last chapter of Fireflies now that I know your brother has read it. And I’m delighted to hear that he thinks I kept his beloved BriBri in character (if we ignore WTF happened to his character in S5).

I’m honestly a little bit emotional from your PS. I write fics because I love to write them but hearing that you’re sitting around discussing them? I love writing them but I do want an audience (otherwise I wouldn’t publish them) and there are fics out there that I feel that way about (written by other people) so for my fics to be that to someone… just, I need a moment and a tissue.

*makes fist* ally

#ask winderlylandchime #dear sweet anon #queer as folk #a straight man watches qaf us 2000 in the year of our lord 2023

[atreehugginghippie]

no, wills confession does not, in fact, also apply to el.

okay so ive seen people try and say that wills speech in the van can still be applied to el- that thats why will was able to even say all of it. and that annoys me so im here to explain how the speech doesnt apply to el at all like every other byler on tumblr !

1. "Because, I mean, without heart {mike}, we'd all fall apart. Even El. Especially El. These past few months, she's been so lost without you."

okay.. so i dont know how to explain this but el is going through a crisis bc she doesnt know who she is. she needs stability, encouragement, love, family and friends. she thinks shes lost her dad, moved from the ONLY place shes ever had anyone, is relentlessly bullied, etc. she doesnt know whats missing because shes never been allowed to figure herself out (from the lab, to hiding, etc). she doesnt know what she wants because shes never been allowed to think about it. she wants mike bc mike is 'easy'. familiar. a reminder. will however- as young as he is- has never seemed to not know himself. hes always seemed to know who he is- even if he hates doesnt like some aspects. and he knows mike, more than anyone probably. will knows whats missing from his life- friends, acceptance- and he knows what would ease it- mike, soft words, reassurance. he wants mike because mike is, well, mike.

2. " It's just, she's so different from other people, and... ( haltingly ) ...when you're... when you're different, sometimes... ( sighs ) ...you feel like a mistake."

agreed. this applies to both el and will. byers twins twinning. cool, moving on to the bigger part of this chunk-

"But you make her feel like she's not a mistake at all. Like she's better for being different"

it always confuses me when people say this speech can also be applied to el but especially because of this part. because just a few eps into the season she was questioning whether or not he sees her as a monster. she was worried he saw her as a monster like everyone else. and the whole 'what did you do? what did you do?' right after the angela hit. and the 'she didnt look fine' at the table. making her feel guilt and shame instead of trying to help and understand. its been like this since season one, really. the 'what did you do' is even, in my opinion, paralleled when el threw lucas in the first season. and the fight he had with her when wills body was found, making her feel guilt. as if it was her fault. it probably feels, to her, that its always her fault when her trauma gets too much or she cant control her powers. so yeah the speech doesnt fit. does it ?

2.5. so this is a continuation of the last quote so reread that and come back.

"And that gives her the courage to fight on."

the vines vecna was choking her with tightened when mike was telling her he loved her. that she was a superhero. that his life started the day he met her. why is that ? i thought he was supposed to give her courage in being different? and why is it that every time she finds her strength its because her loved ones are in danger or hurting. or- and this is super important- it's because she is finding herself. it's bc she had a moment where she accepts herself. it doesnt have anything to do with mike- or anyone else. and her courage, and im not even talking powers here, comes the same way.

3. " If she was mean to you or she seemed like she was pushing you away, it's because she's scared of losing you, like you're scared of losing her. And if she was going to lose you, I... I think she'd rather just get it over with quick. Like ripping off a Band-Aid."

el really wasnt 'mean' to mike. far from it. the only 'blow up' she had at him in season three was a breakup that was framed as a joke and mild eyerolls and comments that were soon forgotten. and in season four the only time she was 'mean' (honest) was the "from mike" scene...

and she was never pushing mike away. he kept her at arms length. she wrote to him constantly, made sure he felt welcomed when visiting, etc. and she didnt lie to keep him distanced, she lied because she thought it would keep everyone happy.

will though, wills been more 'snappish' at mike. less tolerant of his bullshit. will didnt reach out when he couldve. hes terrified that mike will cut him off eventually (esp for his 'secret') and so to save that heartbreak- he thinks of doing it first. but.. he cant. it hurts just as much anyway.

yes, el and mike are scared to lose eachother. theyre scared to lose all their friends. however how this is worded means something different. and its not the way mike and el are scared of losing eachother. el and mike leave fights unresolved. will and mike never want to. why is that ?

4. "So, yeah, El needs you, Mike. And she always will."

then why does el always seem happier when theyre not romantically together ?

el can get on without him as a boyfriend after awhile. she, at the end of the day doesnt need him like that.

everytime will and mike fight its framed as if its just as important as the end of the world. why is that ?

#byler #byler analysis #i have no life im sorry 💀 #the van scene #wills confession #byler endgame #will byers #mike wheeler

[cynassa]

I am going to comic con tomorrow and you follow DC comics closer than I do. Jim Lee has a panel and I am only familiar with some of his art. Do you know anything about him as publisher?

Hello anon! I hope you enjoy Comic Con!! I've never been and I'm so jealous. I hope I saw this when you sent it, because Tumblr continues to be a hot mess.

Idk how helpful I can be, I'm not fond of Jim Lee in any sort of creative control position tbh. He's done some wildly interesting stuff as an artist, including Hush, some bits of Gotham Knight, and I used to follow WildC.A.T.s way back when, so it really isn't nice to have to say that he should have stayed in his lane. But. He really should have.

Short summary of his career as a publisher/creative editor because I don't know how much you know: Image Comics was formed in 1992 and Jim Lee joined them to create WildStorm. Lee then sold it to DC in 1998 but continued to exert some amount of editorial control from time to time. God knows how much or when, because he is all over the place with it. (This is a theme with him. He was supposed to collab with Grant Morrison on WildC.A.T.s in this period but that fizzled out I guess?) You might have read Warren Ellis' The Authority, which was one of my absolute favorites, and was one of the few good things to come from this.

Now, in 2010, when DiDio took charge, Jim Lee was named co-publisher with him. At the same time, Wildstorm got shelved. And after that is when shit hit the fan imo.

I've got two major issues with him, and one minor gripe which I am putting under a readmore bc no one wants that naked on their dash lmao.

Major Issue 1. The New 52. I'm not going to go on a rant here, because we all have our own opinions about the New 52, and it was what it was. The thing is, Dan DiDio keeps getting blamed for it (rightfully, the abusive, predator-shielding asshole) but Jim Lee was also there!! Because DiDio was a loudmouth who kept giving his opinions whether or not they were asked for, everyone forgets that this was Jim Lee's idea too. And when Johns was booted in 2018, he was Chief Creative Officer too. Either he was fully onboard and had no fucking clue that they at least should tell the writers what backstory their characters have, or he was just.... MIA. Too busy dealing with Batpenis, maybe.

In the last 2 years since Jim Lee got complete creative control, sales of DC stuff have tanked, continuities now make no sense, and I don't read Green Lantern but from what I've heard, they still haven't recovered entirely from the Geoff Johns/DiDio/Jim Lee era. The usual suspects blame 'wokeness' for it, but that's absolute nonsense. I will not get into what I think the real problems are, but there we go. Jim

Major Issue 2: DC killed WildStorm. I don't know if they intended to, or whether they never bothered reading a single comic before buying it up and trying to grab Alan Moore any way they could. I'm just going to quote Bleeding Cool's summary from 2010 here:

Minor Gripe: He keeps trying to shove together WildStorm and DC legacy characters. It doesn't work, they don't need to share an universe, and if this is what he wanted to do, why did he try to go for creator-owned comics in the first place. The New 52 reboot of backstories was the worst in many ways, but making WildC.A.T.s characters share the same universe as the actual Justice League was........... A Choice.

Mark Millar would grab news headlines around the world and cause Paul Levitz to personally intervene, changing dialogue and finished art because they offended his sensibilities. It would cost editor John Layman his job. Mark left for Marvel and went exclusive. He would not write for DC or Wildstorm again.

Alan Moore wrote a number of books for Wildstorm, including WildCATS and then his ABC line. DC just managed to keep Moore on board by the skin of their teeth when buying the company, and indeed he would do his first work for hire for DC in ages on the Albion book as a result. However conflict, especially over V For Vendetta and League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen with Paul Levitz would see him leave, taking League with him. It would cost editor Scott Dunbier his job. Moore would not write for DC or Wildstorm again.

#cyn talks #cyn answers #anon im so sorry #there's no way you wanted this rant #but it's what you got #overkill? me? possibly #jim lee #dc comics #new 52

[sparkles-and-trash]

SCREAM 5 thoughts ~

I just finished it and lsaalkbklg, I wrote this as I watched so it's messy, but yes, spoilers ahead obvi!!

Okay so the concept is... something else, lol, but kinda cool ig?

straight away I love the cast tho, the teen gang is cool af

I love the strong tension right out of the gate, the constant build up is enjoyable and on point for the franchise

I would have liked to see certain characters live longer, but I understand why they didn't

the killings are bold this time and I like it

THEY DID NOT JUST KILL HIM WTF WOAH

"it's an honor" UHM yeah, fuck you but at least you know

This one is goooreeey man, ahahhahah damn

very cool to have so much of the OG cast without them overshadowing the new kids  

«You don’t choose who you came from» is a sweet quote tbh

Syd and Gale waaah I love them being in this together

okay at first I was all "who tf would go to a party in these conditions???" but then I realized... I would. I would absolutely be that idiot.

The killer dialogue in the basement lmao, very cool

Honestly everyone suspecting each other is pretty cool, and I like the fact that the twins have the connection they do, it's on the nose and cheesy just like it should be  

The twins in general <3

anyways, tag yourself, I’m The Expert/Mindy 

«Hey Gen Z how are you?» me when I log onto Tumblr dot com lmaooo

The dialouge is so funny jesus 

Okay first(?) killer reveal, 100% knew it from the second I saw her, but still a quick paced and decent reveal

Come on second killer come tru I know who you aaare

The boyfriend HAS to be in this, he reminds me a lot of a certain other number two and it would suck if that fell tru

AND THERE IT IS HAHHA)HA H

Okay so... Would kinda liked it better without the fandom part tbh, I get the nod to the OG motive and commentary on the others but... hm

Okay but «anyone can die in a re-qeal» was kinda cool 

Mikey Madison is fucking AMAZING, she needs to do more horror

Nice climax, kinda drawn out but, it sorta works

the ending with the parallels with the older and younger girls, nice

THE TWINS thank god 

the pan out of the house I'm sorta losing my mind ngl

God I wanna watch the first one now 

For Wes I’m sobbing 

Okay damn, shit, that was something alright! Not perfect, but not horrendous?

In the end I love these movies because they are different, funny and entertaining, and this one did just that. It entertained me for two hours. I don't ask much more than that of these movies tbh.

I love cheesy horror, man. So much.

#rambles #scream 5 #sidney prescott #scream #scream 2022 #gale weathers #mikey madison #horror #movies #slasher #slashermovie #slasher movie

[zabiume]

Orihime as a pacifist + TYBW reflections

So, yesterday, we were talking about Orihime’s core traits in @governthestars ask about writing Orihime + her general characterization and I didn’t expand much about her pacifism because I wanted to make a separate post about it.

On my first read of TYBW, the thing that struck me the most is that both Yhwach and Orihime were probably the most proclaimed “peace-loving” characters in that they both called for a unity of all three worlds.

But the way both characters aim for this “peace” is rather distinct. Yhwach advocates for total anarchy, and his definition of anarchy is the total breakdown of social systems and orders that currently uphold society as we know it, rendering everyone into one clustered group through destruction. Orihime, on the other hand, advocates for anarchy in that she trusts social groups to be capable of taking care of each other and living in harmony through interdependence, without the help of higher institutions like Soul Society. Yhwach focuses on destroying the status quo; Orihime focuses on unionizing the 90%. The fun thing for me is that both definitions have been used to describe anarchism/anarcho-pacifism before and I’m sure this wasn’t meant to be that deep, but it could be, and I’m sad it never went anywhere.

The most frustrating thing about Orihime’s “cool-ness” as a character is that she’s a pacifist in a series where literally everyone is a fighter. Bleach is a shonen, so power-ups (shikai/bankai) and final forms take center stage in what makes a character “cool” to an audience. Kubo set up bankai to be a technique that is incredibly rare to achieve + a physical manifestation of a character’s self-actualization, and that’s pretty deep, but the thing about writing a shonen is that you’re inevitably going to have a shonen audience. AKA, no one cares about what you can do if you can’t do bankai. This is why Chad and Orihime are usually ranked low in popularity polls, despite having solid character arcs and motivations that are apt for them, while characters like Byakuya and Hitsugaya (who have had little to no relevant character arcs post-HM) are very popular. You’d be surprised at how many people on forums think Chad is irrelevant to Ichigo’s main circle, simply because he’s a non-shinigami character. You’d be surprised at how many people think Ichigo is closer to Byakuya than he is to Orihime. But when you see both these ideologies floating around, it isn’t really surprising that most fans thought Ichigo would end up in Soul Society.

I think the point Kubo was trying to make with Ichigo and his identity struggles as a Visored in HM arc, Fullbring in the FB arc, Quincy in the Quincy arc and shinigami throughout is that he can co-opt the identities of all these factions without actually committing an undying loyalty to any single one of them. This is why Ichigo has allies in every faction, just as he has enemies. The entire point of Ichigio’s moral code is that he discards the official manifestos of whatever groups he’s in and creates his own. He’s no one’s man, so to speak, abiding by what he thinks is right as opposed to what each society claims is right. This is a recurring theme seeded in as early as the Lost Agent arc and people still think he’d throw in with the shinigami folk after all the awful shit they’ve done and would have done to him & his friends. If we were to draw a scale of anarchy →  status quo, you’d have it be something like: Yhwach → Orihime (& Ichigo & co) → Urahara(& co) → Gotei 13 with all other characters falling somewhere within that spectrum.

What does this have to do with Orihime as a pacifist? Well, this is what peace and harmony means to her on a grander scale. On a smaller scale, Orihime doesn’t want to hurt a character unless she absolutely has no choice. And even then, her heart isn’t in it unless she’s protecting someone other than herself. This is why she had troubles with Tsubaki before Fullbring Arc, but I don’t think she does now, even if Kubo didn’t really have the time to expand on her powers and origins. I think this quote by Wonder Woman does a good job at summarizing Orihime’s take on violence:

“Don't kill if you can wound, don't wound if you can subdue, don't subdue if you can pacify, and don't raise your hand at all until you've first extended it.”

Orihime would much rather avoid violence and she hates when there’s avoidable loss of life, as we see in Ichigo’s introspection of her re: Yammy. She values life, much like other popular characters in media who don’t kill--like Batman, or Aang. Given her history with family violence and abuse in general, it is pretty much central to her character to be non-violent. Plenty of good characters in media are non-violent as I said, but I think fans like to jest and mock her a lot in fics, especially in I/R fics where her pacifism is written as passive-ism;  where she doesn’t appreciate her powers as much as Ichigo does, where she doesn’t care about whether she has powers or not, unlike Ichigo, who would die without Rukia his powers. This is such a fundamental and hateful misunderstanding of what her powers mean to her and why they were born in the first place-- i.e to protect. Her powers were born because of Ichigo and in the epilogue, we saw her powers protecting Kazui, their son. One of the main reasons why I think a Bleach next gen series would never work--or at least why I don’t want Kubo to cave and make one-- is because it dismantles Orihime and Ichigo’s core of wanting to protect their loved ones. As long as Ichigo and Orihime are alive and functional, I don’t think they’d delegate any wars or greater responsibilities to their son, beyond the occasional Hollow. Orihime sees her powers as an avenue to protect her loved ones, to keep them safe from their enemies -- which, ahem, you might be surprised, is how Ichigo sees his powers, too! It’s almost like she has a fully developed moral code, just like Ichigo does, who knew?

Look, we all read Bleach for different characters and I think it’s amazing that it’s  a versatile enough series that you could read the entirety of it for a character who’s not the protagonist and still walk away with a satisfying story. I mean, I literally could not care less about Nnoitra, while there are fans who run entire meta Tumblr accounts for him. My point isn’t that you shouldn’t do that, it’s that if you read Bleach entirely for characters that are not Orihime and willfully ignored every single panel she was in, you’re not going to have a well-rounded or accurate opinion of her. You’re only going to see her as Ichigo’s bland and convenient love interest or wet blanket wife (yuck) or even a nuisance and hence you’re going to write her as such. If Kubo wrote her that way, I would understand that reflection in fics as well, but he didn’t. We see her as one of Ichigo’s closest companions and motivators for 685 chapters. We see her as his wife in one of them. You don’t need a degree in the School of Orihime Arts & Sciences to be a good Orihime writer-- you just have to understand that she had more of a purpose in Bleach than to be Ichigo’s wife, or Ichi/Ruki’s red herring, or Uryu’s trophy wife or XYZ gay ship’s laughing stock. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

(Part 1)

#this is just my excuse to sneak in comrade!orihime into my posts huh skdjsjdks #orihime inoue #meta #sorry for the Salt but she's my daughter and im tired of the Direspect #i have SO many headcanons and thoughts about her powers and loose threads kubo never got the time to write #and i give every fic a chance if she's in it #but it's so funny when the writer clearly hates her/doesn't know what to do with her #and you'll see the comments praising op for doing a better job than kubo did like please.. #kubo compared her to a god and you insinuated she was a child murderer i think i know which characterization i'd stick with

[soulrph]

So. This is something I desperately dunno what to do, but I saw you accept questions soooo... What's your tips for getting people to follow and write with you on Tumblr? I've never wrote here, I'm on Twitter primarily but I'm really scared because this is a whole new environment and I'm seeing a LOT of different things - Icons, promos, tags. . . It's a lot to take in for a newcomer. Much less to the Dead By Daylight RPC - Much less as an OC writer. Probably don't help I'm stuck on a phone as I don't have a computer. . . Tips for making friends or getting follows/interactions??? I know I'm repeating this but god, I'm scared because a lot of blogs here I peeked at are intimidating me with "selective" and stuff thrown everywhere...

hello my love!! okay, i'm gonna start by just. god, congratulating you, i guess, because tumblr is terrifying. like it's the most nerve wracking experience for people who haven't written here before!! so well done for reaching out, bc it's so so easy to bottle it up out of fear of people reacting badly, and i can promise you, anyone who reacts badly is NOT someone you want to be friends with. we've all experienced everything you're going through, and for someone to sneer at others for being brave and sensible enough to ask for help? we don't vibe with that.

now! i'm gonna be boring for a second and add a few handy definitions here, okay? okay!

selective: they only write with mutuals.

semi-selective: they write with mutuals, but also if a non mutual wants to send them a few things, they might respond.

highly selective: they only write with mutuals and they're very selective about who they become mutuals with

mutuals: someone that you follow who follows you also.

promos: promos are just banners that you reblog in order to find new followers. they have your url, maybe links to a rules page or bio, a cool quote maybe? again, not essential, but if you like using them, go for it! many people can commission you one if you don't fancy wrestling with photoshop!

tags: literally tags are just the hashtags you add at the bottom. see that little # button? that's where you throw in some tags! it's not very vital, but people usually put in the url of their writing partner, or any potentially triggering content in there. lots of people have special tags just to help them find their replies and wishlist stuff and all the rest!

triggers: basically any content that might trigger a strong negative response from someone. a few basic triggers that i always tag are guns, hospitals, blood. if they're visual or written, just hop them into a tag so new followers can blacklist them!

icons: icons are absolutely not necessary, but if you want to use them, they're basically screenshots of your character's fc that you crop down to a specific size, and you can change the lighting and stuff in photoshop! many people are starting to no longer use them though, so it's entirely up to you whether or not you wanna use them!

now. here's the main thing. this site is challenging on many levels. if you scroll through my rp advice tags, you'll find a lot of people who encounter these challenges and need advice or help in overcoming them. the most important thing is that you know you're not alone. everyone, including you, is always welcome to send me a message! but there will be good days and bad days with this site.

my best advice would be to make a post, introduce yourself, then ask if people might like to plot or chat with you! in your tags, put in things like "oc rp" or "dead by daylight rp". it DOES get easier, but it's like when a baby learns to walk. you'll trip over a lot, you might feel like you're crawling, you'll need a group of people there to help you along the way. but one day you'll be sailing through this! you'll be offering ME advice before you know it!

i hope this is helpful, and as always, if there's more i can do, feel free to shoot me a DM or an ask! i might be a bit late replying, but i'll be around as time and energy and schedules allow!

#rp advice. #rp advice #ooc. #mobile. #i-am-your-night-girl

[anthonycrowleymoved]

I know this is old discourse but in light of destiel becoming canon, what are your thoughts on neil gaiman not allowing Crowley and Aziraphale to be gay lovers? He said that they're angels, not men, so is that supposed to imply that they're not gay simply cuz they're non-binary (so they're asexual)? I just wanna know if they'e in love or not lol. I ship them so much.

yeah okay this is gonna have to be tagged neil discourse because thinking about this over a year later i’m still mad huh

so like. i know very well what he said at the time. he was basically like, and i’m paraphrasing but that’s because i simply do not care enough to give a direct quote but on twitter he was like ‘oh well angels don’t UNDERSTAND human concepts like GENDER and SEXUAL ATTRACTION so NO they’re NOT GAY’ and then someone was like ‘but they’re in love right?’ and he was like ‘of course.’ right? everyone agrees that’s what happened right after the show aired? and like, okay, i’m not going to begrudge people seeing this as representative of themselves if they’re nb and/or ace, that’s cool and fine, and you do you. i find it interesting that i saw a ton more criticism about it on here than on twitter, but that’s probably just more indicative of who i’m following and how much i’m on here than anything else. anyway.

let’s break this bullshit down and explain piece by piece why i think neil’s quote unquote representation in gomens is a hot garbage fire and why it kind of rubbed me the wrong way from the moment i saw it.

1. he posted it on twitter. he wrote the script and could have like, you know, put it into the show, if them being In Love was like, actually part of the story. he had the ability to do that. gomens was already going to piss off right wing groups because of how it treats religion, this wasn’t something i legitimately think amazon/the beeb would have just said ‘no’ to if neil was serious about it. mean, maybe that’s a bit far into conspiracy territory, but i truly believe if they really wanted to make azcrow canon the one person who could have managed getting a scene would have been the author/showrunner. and because he didn’t if you’re a casual viewer who’s not fucking following his goddamned twitter seeing gay representation is now a rorschach test

‘they don’t adhere to human ways of thinking about gender and sexuality’ MANY THOUGHTS HERE but let’s start with

2. i think hallie originally said this and neil i know you wrote the book but like. did you read the book neil. because i thought one of the main points of it was that aziraphale and crowley had effectively ‘gone native’ and saw themselves more like humans than like celestial beings. and they’d been on earth for all of human history. it’s a bad take i’m sorry i know he literally wrote it but like really. really.

3. look i’m nb and i’d love some nb rep. but that was not nb rep. those were two cis male actors playing (largely) male presenting characters with absolutely no in-text indications that they aren’t cis. there’s one (a few? god it’s been a minute since i watched the show) character referred to by singular ‘they’ and it’s not aziraphale or crowley. and like, look, i get that in real life there’s nb people who don’t go by gender neutral pronouns and that’s cool and fine because that’s what those people feel inside. but, like, this isn’t real life, it’s a tv show, and referring to male presenting characters as he/him and then occasionally putting them in feminine clothing isn’t representation because people who aren’t looking for that kind of representation aren’t going to see it, they’re going to see a joke about a man in a dress

4. and i’m not ace so i can’t speak on that, but i do remember at the time ace people being like ‘that....was not ace rep’ so like, make of that what you will. again, i’m not going to tell you you can’t see them as nb and/or ace, but like, i’m just asking you, was that really representation? like, was it? in your heart like, would you have been happy with that representation if neil didn’t tell you it was representation? because if you’re just starved for content, that’s FINE, you’re ALLOWED, all i’m asking you is to not praise the creator for doing fuck all.

5. ‘of course [they’re in love]’ again where??? where??? where is it neil. where is it in the actual text of the show. like there’s in text evidence that they love each other platonically and there’s lots of jokes made by other characters but like. i hate to say that but that’s it. i don’t know why this off the cusp response still makes my blood boil but boy does it

6. i don’t want to go looking for it because i’ve done that like six times but there’s a post on neil’s tumblr from before the show dropped about how there would be moments that people who ship it would be happy with but it wouldn’t become canon. you can look it up i swear he said that in like....december of 2018ish? something like that. which, again, is fine on its own, but combined with the fact that after he was like ‘lmao that’s what i was going for’......not my favorite look

what i’m saying is like, if he wanted to create an actual queer narrative he could have but he just like, chose not to and then when he realized he could have people watching his show just because they’re thirsty for representation that isn’t there i think he went ‘oh i’ll jk rowling this’ i don’t KNOW that that’s what happened but, like, that’s what it looks like to me.

i used to regularly refer to the “representation” in gomens as nu-queerbaiting, which i still like as a term, because to me it’s the person in charge (not the actors, usually, unless they have some say in the writing process) going, oh no they’re totally in love with each other totally trust me :) and then like, they’re not, not really, not to the people who like, watch the show but don’t fucking follow the author on twitter. and that’s. i’m sorry, that’s not canon to me.

and, to be honest, how this is presented honestly makes me more angry than if it was just maybe in-universe wink wink nudge nudge, because i’m USED to queerbaiting and i know that like, almost nothing ever ever ever comes of it and i get it and i like having fun anyways, so i deal. and like, i was a book fan before the show came out. the book was written in the late 80s, and i knew that it wasn’t going to be anywhere near as gay as the fandom has made that work for thirty goddamned years, and i was fine with that. like, going into it, i joked, but it was fine because it was a relatively faithful adaption of a book i like. i wasn’t looking for gay representation, even though i ship aziraphale and crowley.

but like, there was this wave of people who came looking for representation, and the show is so vague on that concept that they saw it, but it’s like. it’s not actually really there. there’s no one saying ‘yes they’re really irl in love.’ there’s two male-presenting characters who COULD be in love, if you choose to view it like that, but maybe aren’t. and like, that’s FINE, on it’s own, but i hate that someone in a position of power said ‘no you’re right lmao’ even though he didn’t do shit. it was made in 2019. queer representation should be better than that. i’m not patting neil on the back for doing literally nothing.

so like, tldr: yeah the rep is bad in my opinion!!! it’s not good!!!! i don’t like how neil handled it and it’s gross!!!! i hope this answers your question!!!!

anyway that being said azcrow is such a good ship anyway, so like, why does it matter if they’re canon? ship em anyways no one can stop me from doing it even though how it was handled by the actual creator is a garbage fire when you look at it for more than like, thirty seconds. like......why must a ship be ‘canon’? is it not enough to read a book and see two celestial beings, in love with humanity?

#neil if you're searching your name again and see this no you didn't #neil discourse #go #go tv #nonny mouse #inquiries

[vivithefolle]

I'm a bit confused. You said in one post that you thoroughly dislike Hermione and that you had no respect for her at all. Yet ... you like Romione? idk, it seems contradictory tbh. I like when Romione shippers acknowledge her flaws and messed up moments but when someone that dislike and even hate her character that much ships Romione and I see them posting about them and calling them "cute" just seems weird

I’ll share with you my whole thought process so you can understand where I’m coming from:

Itty-bitty Vivi who read Harry Potter for the first time (at 13/14, so not so itty-bitty I guess, oops): Woaaah Hermione and Ron yaay!!! They're awesome I love them! They're my OTP always and forever!! Best thing to happen in Harry Potter!! JKR is a genius!

Slightly less itty-bitty Vivi discovering the Harry Potter fandom online (thankfully years after the ship wars, else I probably wouldn't have survived): Why is there so much hate towards Ron? And why are people so opposed to Romione?? It was meant to be since the first book! Or, okay, the second book is when I realized it was gonna happen, but still! Oh well, here is a fic where Hermione berates Ron for everything and he is the only one actually working for their relationship. Cool, more Romione!

Even less itty-bitty Vivi starting her own Tumblr and going around, adding her grain of salt to debates and talking about stuff: Yeah! Ron is great! He's done bad things of course but Hermione has done her fair share of bad things too! Actually, now that I'm rereading the books, I'm reminded of this person I used to call a friend, who was quite smart and cultured but would often be very harsh to me because they claimed it was “for your own good" and “because I'm more mature than you"… I still wanted to be around them, because they were just so smart and passionate, but we often rowed and eventually they really just went too far and tried to make ME out to be the bad guy and most people believed them because they had a reputation as someone cool and logical while I was known for being emotional… wait, what the fuck, that's… that's exactly what happens in the fandom with Ron and Hermione! What the fuck, was I Ron? Admired their intelligence, praised and supported them, fell in love even but was met with scorn and open disdain?!… no, no, come on. Hermione wasn't that bad.

Vivi rereading Half-Blood Prince (and no, this wasn't about the canaries, but about what Hermione was doing after): Oh my god she was that bad.

Vivi as she ponders alternately: Wait, what about JK Rowling? What does she think about all that? What was her intention, what did she want to accomplish with the characters? I know books belong to their readers but if I want as objective an analysis as possible I must try to understand her thought process while she wrote.

Vivi learning about a staple of British literature called “literary alchemy”: The quarreling couple!! Sulfur and Mercury, the Red King and the White Queen, who must marry for the story to end happily!! And their union is represented by… a rose!! Oh my god, that is brilliant, that is so cool! Romione was ALWAYS going to happen, I knew it! Ha!

Vivi discovering the “[Ron] needed to make himself worthy of Hermione” quote: Wha… but… what? Worthy? As if Hermione was some sort of precious trophy or whatever? What the hell? Wait, Ron had to make himself worthy of her but Hermione didn't have to make herself worthy of him? Is it because Ron is the boy or some shit like that??

Vivi going through JK Rowling's interviews and finding sexism and double-standards galore: Yep, it's because he's the boy. And that bit about Hermione being based off herself when she was younger… ouch. And to top it off the scriptwriter pretty much worshipped Hermione…

Vivi rereading the books again: Is it just me, or does Ron hardly ever get any praise or acknowledgement from the adult characters? Meanwhile Harry and Hermione get stuff like “as good as Charlie Weasley" or “brightest witch of her age"! And, damn, I used to side with Hermione because I love cats, but she was completely awful in POA! She apologized but then the plot made her out to be right even then?? And I always thought her Yule Ball entrance was kinda over-the-top, but damn if that's not compensating for something! Also what the hell, I get that Harry is suffering and all but will someone PLEASE pay attention to the fact that Ron is being bullied BY A FOURTH OF THE STUDENT BODY AND NOBODY SEEMS EVEN REMOTELY CONCERNED????? Also what the hell is wrong with the sixth book, I never liked it much but it's like it's trying to make every character look bad, wtf?? And, and, holy shit I never noticed but Ron was asking legit questions during the Horcrux Hunt debate but Harry kept deflecting or mocking him but it's still Ron who had to apologize in the end??? And I've read a whole post about how Hermione punching Ron is the appropriate reaction for a very small child and not a supposedly “mature" character, and that Harry had to SHIELD RON FROM HER, oh my god?? It's… oh my god, what the fuck is wrong with JK Rowling?

Vivi, in denial: Well, Harry Potter is decidedly not a romance. It's about love, but romantic love is quite far down the priority list when it comes to it. JKR has herself confessed that she wasn't too good at writing romance, and I don't blame her because writing romance is hard. But I did enjoy Romione! When I was little I saw it coming from a mile away, granted I was already savvy in literature but that must have been because she was doing something right! And then the sixth book happened… the sixth book which… which was released after the Harry Potter movies were being filmed, wasn't it?

Vivi looking up the timelines: Oh my god. Oh my god it's even worse, the movies were being discussed before Goblet of Fire came out. Come to think of it, I always found that the Trio felt… different, after Prisoner of Azkaban. Harry and Ron especially felt like they had gotten dumber? And Hermione was suddenly explaining everything when exposition used to be split between her and Ron…

Vivi, in mourning: So that's what happened. Ron ended up being shortchanged to make Hermione look better, because Rowling was fonder of Hermione than she was of Ron, and the scriptwriter too come to think of it. Curse you, Steve Kloves!!!

Vivi, who is nothing if not what Pokémon fans call a nostalgiafag: But… but… yeah, it sucks that Ron was shortchanged, and actually yeah it's a freaking travesty and I WILL freaking spread the world about this, mark my words, but, but I still… I can't help it, when Hermione “looked up at Ron and her frostiness seemed to melt" I melt too. When Ron compliments Hermione or tries to take care of her as much as he can I… it still does something to me, I still find myself rooting for them even if I know there's the awful sixth book and the stupid post-Locket beatdown. Their kiss, for God's sake, I've just realized that Ron may have swept Hermione off her feet physically, but it's Hermione who jumped him, you could say Hermione metaphorically swept Ron off his feet!! God damn it, that's good, that's so good!

Vivi, at war with herself: No, I can't let myself be blinded by nostalgia!! The facts are that Hermione shows borderline abusive - even actually abusive - behaviour, this can't be denied! I don't want to root for an abusive relationship! I don't want to root for a relationship that relies on my favourite character being dumbed down to work!!!

Vivi, about to uncover the secrets of the universe: … wait a second. I don't have to.

Vivi, having an epiphany: Reading Solstice Muse's Romione fanfics gives me such happiness because she just gets the characters! She doesn't portray Hermione as perfect and never fucking up, and she always treats what happens to Ron with respect… Well, especially since she can't play them off as a joke since she often makes Ron the POV character. But, yeah! I can still like Romione… if it's well-written. Which, well, isn't the case in the original books… at least, isn't the case anymore after Rowling's bias got the best of her. Even though they do have their great moments.

Vivi, finding purpose in her life: I am going to spread awareness. I am going to tell the world. Fuck, just rereading the books, I've noticed how blatant the favouritism is and how unbalanced it can be. No wonder the fandom seems to collectively scoff at Ron - the books themselves do whenever it's convenient for them! The fandom plays favourites, because the author herself played favourites, and the worst part is that she didn't even realize it! Imagine you spend your life getting into traumatic situations out of love for your friends who always receive compassion and validation for their feelings about said traumas, but YOUR trauma is hardly touched upon and in the rare case it is, it's only to be mocked or used against you… Fuck! You're a piece of work, JKR! And the fandom just swallows it whole like a bunch of lobotomized snakes! Screw it! Screw it, I'm going to say it like it is, and I'm going to say it LOUDLY! People are going to hear about what Ron goes through and we'll see if Harry and Hermione look like the only ones worthy of therapy then!!

Present day Vivi, as she scrolls through the (heavily filtered) Romione tag on AO3: Ugh, another Drarry… and another… and another… oh, a Hinny-centric fic for a change, cool but I'm looking for more Romione than that, sorry. Gah, why is it that Romione appears as a secondary ship everywhere but they can't get their own stories? I've just seen a Snupin come up for God's sake! Oh, finally, a full Romione!! *clicks* … … … awww that was so sweet. Kudos! Okay back to the search… oh, another one!! *clicks* … … … it's Ron-bashing. It's Ron-bashing and it's not tagged Ron-bashing and that's why it showed up in my search AND I'M GOING TO FREAKING RIOT-

#vivi answers #ask #romione #ron weasley #hermione granger #ron weasley defense squad #ron weasley defence squad #ron x hermione #harry potter series #anti jk rowling

[captain-aralias]

Life stuff

this feels kind of weird, because i’ve never used my tumblr like this, but i would have written something on my livejournal, and i want people to know - i just dont want to have to tell people about it, or really talk about it at all. 

but i also wanted to write this, idk. 

(TW: impending death of a parent)

my mum has cancer. 

it’s a rare form of cancer, called peritoneal cancer, which is similar to but different from ovarian cancer - i think it mostly gets diagnosed (like my mum’s) when it’s too late to do anything about it. all the treatment has been palliative only i.e. letting her live as long and as comfortably as possible.

she was diagnosed in september last year - about a year ago, a few months after running the ‘virtual’ london marathon on the isle of wight, where she lives, and obviously deep in lockdown. 

as someone undergoing chemo, she was deemed extremely vulnerable to covid, and so she spent most of the early pandemic isolating. she also said she didn’t see any point in my brother and i visitng her, particularly given the risks, because we could talk via facetime - which is fair enough - all of which meant my brother and i didn’t go to visit her until May this year, after she’d done the first lot of chemo and was already doing much better again. 

a few months after that, we found out that while she’d responded really well to the chemo, her cancer wasn’t responding at all to the maintenance drugs that were suposed to stop it coming back, so she came off the drugs completely. medical advice was basically chemo is as effective whenever you do it, so you might as well enjoy your life for a while, we’ll monitor it every month, and when things start to get too bad, we’ll put you back in chemo. 

it’s friday tomorrow - so two fridays ago, i saw my mum in london after she’d just seen hamilton with her partner, graham. both of them loved hamilton. her hair had grown back, she seemed pretty normal. about a week later, she was in A&E - and she’s been in the hospital all week. she’s got a total bowel obstruction, which means she can’t eat and hasn’t eaten since last week.

now in a weird situation where there are a few tricky, difficult options (including being moved off the island back onto the mainland to a bigger hospital) that will mean that she stays alive long enough to get the chemo, which will probably get her back to hamilton-watching strength, or ... she could die really soon. like, in a few days. 

we can’t visit. her partner can’t visit because covid - there’s this really sad-making photo of him looking happy on the phone through a window to my mum, also on the phone, inside the hospital. 

i feel...

???? :( :( :( ....

i guess this is the main point of the post. i’m not writing this crying, i’m writing it pretty neutrally - because my brain isn’t really processing it right now, and mostly doesn’t process it. 

i did cry earlier today while on the phone to various people, and then i went back to work. i hate crying, i hate being sad, and i dont like people comforting me, because it makes me realise that i have something to be sad about. 

i’ve known she had cancer for a year. i haven’t been able to hang out with her most of that time. i would say, we are fairly close, although not nearly as close as some families. we don’t talk every week, but we talk regularly, and have seen each other regularly. 

i’m so incredibly privileged that nothing that bad has ever happened to me, even though i’m 35. i’ve never been to a funeral, which seemed like a major life win and now i think was a mistake, i should have gone to funerals for people i card about less to help get used to it. 

the literal only comparison i have to how i feel is when my cat Anton died suddenly  about 3 years ago - i handled it with a mix of not thinking about it, being intensely sad for as brief a period as i could, and probably by thinking about how sad my girlfriend was about it, and sort of sidestepping my own feelings in comparison. 

i remember when my last remaining grandparent died - and i was about 14 or something - i wasn’t sad for myself, i was only sad for her my dad being sad. for ages, i worried that i was not going to be sad enough about this - and i still sort of am. 

but i also passionately hate the idea of being sad and i know i’ll look to avoid it as much as possible, and try and get on with my life. 

i know my mum dying isn’t about me - when people write after death it’s about the person who died, obviously. that makes sense. but this post isn’t about my mum, who is a very cool person, much cooler than me - it’s about me. because i am self-obsessed and this is going to wreck my life for a while.

it’s weird, because i can see it on the horizon but it’s not happening yet. and i dont know whether that’s good or bad - i feel like it’s good, in a way. someone ages ago told me that the grieving period starts when you get the news. that seems very true to me - but also, i know that it’s going to ramp up, and so i’m like in the expectation of true grief right now. 

it’s sort of like she died, but also is still going to die, but also i can magically still talk to her. which is really nice, in a way, it’s like a second chance, because i know i didn’t reach out enough before she had cancer. and i’m aware enough of my own actions that i know this is what’s been going on in my head the past year - i should reach out more, because she has cancer, but i dont want to make it seem like i’m reaching out because she has cancer, even though she knows i know she has cancer....... and also, i’m busy writing this fic. /o\

the fact that she seemed to recover (even though my mum insisted on saying ‘i am not recovered, i’m going to die soon’ like several time as a day as a disclaimer) also totally messed with my head, because i knew logically - ok, it’s happening. but also, things seemed so normal when we speak. even when i called her today, and she hasn’t eaten for a week, it seemed normal. 

btw - i realised this week i had no idea how cancer killed people. my mum is a scientist and has looked up all kinds of things about what’s killing her; i’m clearly a simon snow and didn’t want to think about things i can’t help. if you’d asked me, i’d have said like... it poisons you or something, or blocks bloodflow to your brain. not what i think will actually do it which is.... starvation. or being too weak to survive being pumped full of the poison that is intended to kill the cancer. (that one i guess i could have predicted.) man - cancer sucks. i mean, we all knew it. 

(i failed to get into cambridge university at interview stage, many years ago. the man who interviewed me gave me some extremely memorable feedback, which is that i needed to dial back the ‘defensive irony’ - which i thnk in that context meant i put myself down and tried to make a joke of everything. i remember when i got the phonecall to say Anton, my cat, was dead, i literally did not know what to do with my voice - because my instinct was to try and make the vet feel better, and also to present myself as bright and capable, and yet this unexpected and devasting news had just come through. rainbow wrote something sort of similar because she’s a good writer, for shepard as he tells penny about his curse. i feel like that.) 

what else did i want to say? 

i thought i had more time. ‘hamilton’ will probably always be tied to this moment in my mind, because of how much i’ve spoken to my mum about it in the past few weeks (i sent her the remix - she liked it, she listened to it in hospital while trying to drink more than 100ml of fluids) but yeah - this is basically a line from hamilton here. whatever. don’t make me feel my own feelings, let me just quote things. i dont like my own feelings. (no, i dont want to go to therapy - they’d make me talk about my feelings all the time, i’m british for god’s sake.) 

i’m 35 - my mum is 68. i didn’t think she’d die this early or that i’d have to deal with this yet. but then i also don’t think bad things are ever going to happen to me - because mostly they haven’t, see above. i wear a mask and am double vaccinated because i’m not an asshole, but i dont really believe i’ll get covid because bad things don’t happen to me. i didn’t think my mum would die - maybe ever, but definitely not yet. she’s been retired a decade after teaching (science) and has enjoyed it. 

i thought i had time to not have kids yet - which is the other thing (like hamilton) that this moment is really tied up with for me. i feel like 35 is getting quite old, but also not that old to still not have kids, but intend to maybe have them. my feelings about kids were basically like - up until like 25, i thought, yes, definitely. i mean, before i had a realtiosnhip (22-ish), i just assumed i would probably have a het marriage and have kids etc, like people do, but after that we were still talking, yes, children at some point. 

didn’t prioritise it for a few reasons - none of my close friends had children until quite recently, so it just didn’t seem like an urgent thing in the way that it probably does for people with different friendship groups. waiting to be settled enough in a job to be able to take maternity leave without it feeling like a rip off for my employer. waiting for a good time in erin’s PhD writing cycle. and then pandemic. and then a few years ago, maybe as i turned 30, i thought - maybe we won’ have kids, because we still haven’t - and i vocalised that to erin. 

also, i know a lot of people are gay and have children, so it’s not like it’s a thing that is impossible at all, but it’s much much harder if you have to leave your home and your relationship in order to get a child. it has to be a very very conscious decisions. i have friend who are men who have good genes, but we’re not so close i want to ask them for their sperm/to be involved however remotely in making a child - and (i was surprised to discover) (what a lot of things i dont know anything about) you an’t really just buy sperm, it’s not truly legal except through a clinic. and it’s extremely expensive to get inseminated in a clinic, and the NHS don’t really do that, so you do have to pay it. i thought kids would be expensive after they were born, but not before. and i REALLY wanted a house, much much more than - i think even today - i’ve ever wanted a child. i REALLY wanted a house - and now we have a house, and it’s pretty good. but - that’s where the money went, until the pandemic - thanks pandemic - so now we do have some disposable cash at last, because i didn’t commute. 

but now erin is worried about climate change - and wheher it’s right to bring more children into the world, and other things. and.... i think i do want to be pregnant, it’s what i’m planning for - don’t leave this job (which admittedly i also really like, and pays me well - i dont thin i need to leave) because next stop maternity leave, but..... 

i don’t know whether i am thinking, time ot have kids because my best friend just had a baby (the baby’s name is horatio - for real, i actually love this name) (i also haven’t seen her or the baby except over skype, because anna - my friend - is, like my mother, also scared of pandemic) and my brain is like - ok, well, if anna is doing it, i guess the time is here 

AND - i know there’s a large part of me that was like, gotta be pregnant and ideally have the baby before my mum dies so she gets to see that she had a grandchild. my brother and i are both queer, btw, in case you were wondering - he’s considering whether he wants to transition right now (but is still happy with he/him pronouns) and - you may find this astonishing, but i genuinely don’t know whether he’d consider himself ace, or has been in relationships. he’s very private, he has OCD and is in therapy - but anyway, he’s probably not having kids anytime soon (i think!) and graham - my mum’s boyfriend/partner of 10+ years. -has grandchildren, but my extremely middleclass white (but definitely not conservative voters, always 100% not-tory) parents ended up with me and my brother.... and i don’t know, as i say, i don’t know whether my brain is saying ‘have kids before it’s too late’ - although i know by now that it will be too late. even if my mum recovers from this, this time, i don’t think i can produce a child before she dies - and she isn’t asking me too, she’s not like that, but i would have liked her to be there. i thought she would be. 

so - i’m thinking about that. also, about getting a dog. i really want a dog - although i don’t want to upset the three cats (one we’ve had for eight years or so, the other two we got after Anton died). it’s ALSO really hard and expensive to get a dog. you’d think with all these ‘a dog isn’t just for the pandemic, a dog is for life’ type adverts around, that it would be easy to adcidentally get a dog - i’ve looked! you ccan’t get a dog unless you have no cats and you’re super experienced and can take a dog with lots of trauma or medical problems, or you’re willing to pay thousands of pounds. like - even for a regular not even pedigree dog - at least a thousand. pedigree dog - several thousand. i dont want a puppy either - i want a dog. 

and - this is embarrassing to admit, but i’ve alrady told erin - i genuinely had a phase of being super annoyed when i’d read fics where someone just ‘got a dog’. it’s not that simple!!! it’s fiction, it doesn’t matter - chill out. the baby thing too - although weirdly not fics where magic meant it was possible to get a baby, weirdly it was smut. i had a brief week or so of crazy (and i don’t think i am that crazy) where i’d read about fictional semen and just be like - wtf, it’s so hard to get hold of that shit. (it’s not real, this isn’t real semen being wasted, calm down - and i dont even really know if i want kids, i might just think i do.) 

the other thing about the bad thing being soon but not yet (but also being all the time, but not if you dnt think about it) is that i’m thinking - should i prioritise writing my remix now, in case my mum dies and i’m too sad to do it, and then i didn’t do my remix? i was definitely thinking this while writing classroom politics (i hope my mum doesn’t die becaue i dont want to be too sad to miss the deadline) and in the run up to AWTWB .....

today i wrote a list of things for work that would need to be picked up if i have to unexpectedly stop working, either because i’m too sad, or because i have to do funeral stuff, or .... i guess legal stuff about settling the estate. (i guess this happens to a lot of people, too, but it’s also a bit of a mindfuck that my brother and i will inherit her house and a bunch of cash when she dies - i’m pretty well off, my brotehr does virtual reality theatre stuff so really isn’t - we’ve talked about how much easier both of our lives will be with a huge injection of cash, and how we dont know what to feel about that) (great news, dogs and kids are really expensive! time to find out whether i really wanted to spend my money on those.) told people i like at work that it’s coming, and that i dont want to talk about it. and mostly just... carrying on with life, really. until it happens. 

it’s so weird how easy it is to carry on most of the time.i know my mum’s partner is not doing nearly so well - he has to cope with an empty house and he’s retired. i’ve had periods - including right now - where i wake up every morning and check my phone to see whehter someone called me or texted me to tell me it’s over. but most of the day i’m actually really fine. i even had an ok day today. and i don’t know whether i want that to be the case, or whether i shouldn’t let myself do that. i dont know what i should prepare for in terms of where i’ll be - will i want lots of stuff to distract me (this is my guess) and work is very good for that, or i will want to clear time and space because i can’t operate and dont want people to offer me comfort. (FYI - this post isn’t written to make people say anything to me, i definitely dont want to talk about it, so please don’t feel you either have to comment or check in on me - i don’t really want you to. it’s enough to have written it, in my own time, in my own space.)

i think i wanted to write this post in a way because i thought i probably wouldnt want to write it after my mum died - because i probably wouldn’t want to say anything about it at all, for a few years. 

my mum keeps telling me about the show ‘jane the virgin’ - which she’s half way through. shhe asked me to give it a try, so i did (she often tells me about shows on radio 4, which i rarely listen to. i thouht i had more time.) i’ve watched an episode (because she has cancer, i should listen to her recommendations)(but i dont want her to know that’s why i did it) and i do quite like - it’s light and frothy and well cut together (although about kids and artificial insemination, of course). i guess in a worse case scenario where i’m too sad to work or write, i will probably watch a lot of this show - which is incredibly not sad - and feel sad about how my mum never finished it. 

BUT ALSO SHE MIGHT BE OK. for a while. 

i dont know how i feel, blargh. anyway. this was a long post. i think i wrote it mostly for me. feelings are weird. covid really sucks and so does cancer. 

going to order some chicken and watch inuyasha.

#my content #tw: death #tw: death of a parent #tw: death of a loved one #personal #tw: cancer

[planesofduality]

Full Transcript edition:

“The Story Behind Solas with Dragon Age Lead Writer Patrick Weekes” by Dialogue Wheel/Video Game Sophistry

Reblog of one of my first posts ever. I didn’t understand how tumblr worked back then really, and long story short, I split the transcript of this interview  into 3 parts :) I’d probably do things differently now. Reblogging it as a single transcript for my own convenience, as I still refer to some of the things Weekes said here from time to time!

Interview is from before Trespasser DLC; posted to YouTube 12/20/2019 

Note: pseudo-reblog

“Interview with lead writer for Dragon Age Patrick Weekes years ago about how the enigmatic character Solas was created, here is what that magic elf could have up his sleeve for us in Dragon Age 4.” Not my interview, just wrote transcript of questions and answers for reference. 

Full video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFx1nCdZFjw&t=1s

Time: 2:54

Solas, tell us about little old Solas. Talking about your other characters you created we always start at the beginning. Pen to paper - How did the idea of Solas first start? What was that first iteration?

So actually Dave and Mike both, you know, we - everyone knew who Solas was - everyone knew what the ending was going to be with him. And, you know, Dave and Mike said, “Well Dave is writing a ton of the crit path, the main part of the game. Dave really wants to do Dorian, that’s very important to him, and are you comfortable writing this guy? Are you comfortable writing someone who is going to be, in some respects, deceiving the Inquisitor for the entirety of the game?” And, honestly, how do you turn that down?

Time: 4:02

So really it was that simple then - from there, in the way you described it, they already had some ideas and some concepts about what Solas needed to bring?

Oh, yeah. Originally, one of the most difficult parts of writing him - and, you know, I said Iron Bull was the one closest to how I originally planned him - Solas and Cole are probably tied for least like how I originally wrote them. And, really, it was getting past the secret. It was getting past Fen’Harel.

Iron Bull: badass former spy, the opposite of Sten.

Blackwall: awesome Grey Warden who is not actually a Grey Warden.

Solas: He’s Fen’Harel…

Okay, can he tell you he’s Fen’Harel? No.

Okay, well what are we going to talk about?

[Pretending to be Solas:] “Hey Inquisitor, I’m still not Fen’Harel, do you have any questions?”,  “I will not take any questions about whether I am Fen’Harel.” That was the big stumbling block of writing him.

I remember the first draft… the first draft all we talked about was elves. It was elves all the time. Every conversation went “Elves, elves… Elves were awesome back in the old days.. Everything was great with the elves.” And then you’d go, “You really like elves huh?” “No, shut up - I’m not Fen’Harel.” And we all kind of looked at that and went, that’s not really much of a character hook. You cannot have a character hook built on something that you only reveal after the play has watched the credits. That is how we got to Fade expert. That is something where, if something had gone terribly wrong, if we were six months from shipped and we decided not to do anything with elves in the future, we could have taken the Dread Wolf out of the equation entirely and a mage named Solas who loves the Fade, is an apostate but without all of the fear and anger that you think of when you think of an apostate, but is just this guy who wants to travel through dreams and find mysteries and explore… that was a good enough character to stand by itself. That is what it took us a couple of drafts to get to.

Time: 7:04

You mentioned the first two phases of Solas - share with us a little more of that journey, when you finally go to this character that could stand on its own. If you don’t mind, a little more of that journey- was it just those first two and now everything’s cool?

First draft was “ ‘Elves, elves’ but ‘I don’t like elves’”. Second draft was about how much to tell. I think in the next draft it was significantly closer. Anyone who looked at that draft - and, you know, I apologize to anyone who looked at that draft - but, anyone who looked at that draft you would find places where “Oh okay that’s the Solas I know and love. There he is. He likes the Fade.” That’s something that’s actually interesting. But, he lied a lot more. And it actually really weakened his character. We played it so close with both Blackwall and Solas - both characters are the liars who don’t actually lie. They will tell you almost truths. With Blackwall - he never actually flat-out says “I am a Grey Warden.” If you ask him what it’s like being a Grey Warden he will say "Well  a warden embodies this and a warden embodies that… I’ve been blessed in my travels.” You know, he never actually quite says “I’m a Warden.” With Solas it’s the same way with the hand wave of ‘in the Fade’. I would start putting ‘in the Fade’ at the end of a lot of sentences.  “Yeah turns out that all of the stuff you thought was true in history was wrong… because I saw it…. in the Fade.”

In revision 2, he lied a lot more. On the one hand it worked, on the other hand it made him less tragic, more of jerk when we got to the reveal. So that is how we got to what we made him into: this character who is intelligent, wise… Solas will think very carefully before he tells you anything and anything he tells you is exactly as much as he wants you to know. That actually led to one of the funny little game moments - one of the last things we do is add the places where characters will approve or disapprove. I think what I want Solas to approve us is you actually asking questions . He’s kind of unique in that regard -  What Solas approves us is people who are interested in finding out knowledge. Whether they are finding it out from him or they’re talking with other people, Solas wants people to explore, he wants people to find information, he wants people to learn. What he disapproves of, honestly, more than what you do, is in many ways how you do it. You can do the thing that he wants you to do, but if you do it in a knee-jerk way, Solas hates that. He wants to know that you are carefully considering your options and taking a measured approach.

Time: 12:16

When it comes the characterization of a character that you’ve already been give at least some sort of name to. We know that this character is some sort of trickster god - when you were trying to develop and make him some a stand-alone character, did you ever have to rely on what the mythos already established of this particular kind of eighth-seat god that maybe a lot people hadn’t heard a lot about?

Well, I think, like we talked about before, one of the great things about the Dragon Age universe is everything that you learn in a codex entry is something that someone else heard in a story and wrote it down somewhere and you’re reading half of the book. So the good news on that is anything we wanted to do with Fen’Harel, there was so little and what was in there was already so sketchy that we had all the freedom we needed to play with him.

That turned out to be a nice thing because I think if we had someone that was completely by-the-books, already established, their character already given, it would feel like more of a letdown to write that as a character or you would have to play against type, you’d have to do something completely different to show he wasn’t just what the stories wrote about him. And, you know, in some ways that is both liberating but also disappointing to people who might have liked  the original stories. This was a fun experience of getting to fill in some of the gaps.

The only thing I think we had to struggle against is that anyone who hears “trickster” or anyone who hears “oh, he’s chaotic and unpredictable” it feels like there is a natural urge to go to “He’s Loki in the Avengers. He’s the guy who’s gonna make large grand-standing plans.” Or, you know, “He’s the Riddler, who’s gonna leave clues to test you.” We had to get away from that: “Let’s tone that back a little bit, let’s not have him be the Jack Nicholson Joker version of the Dread Wolf.”

That’s quite a quote.

You got Dorian as a large, grandiose , extravagant figure and it would have been easy to have him go that way. It was fortunate that we had Dorian as the mage who had the larger-than-life persona already to make Solas be the quiet one.

Time: 15:21

Was there ever an instance where you were really pushed with giving some indicators to the player that Solas may have some connection to this going through the gameplay? Because you do see a lot statues of Fen’Harel. There’s many instances of where you’re discussing it, you’re traveling through those lands. Where do you walk that line, how do you walk that line, or do you just completely disregard it whatsoever?

The goal we had is we wanted the very careful players, the very sensitive players, who were playing attention and watching every scene with Solas to know that something was up and to want more answers and then go to “OH MAN” as soon as the stinger after the credits rolled. But we wanted most players to just go “Oh, okay, he’s like ‘Fade nerd.’ He’s like ‘hippie guy.’”

The other thing we wanted was everyone on their second playthrough, as soon as they talked to Solas to be like “Oh, man, he’s just saying it. He just flat-out said it right there and I missed it completely the first time!” I think we called it the “inevitable in retrospect”- or the “slap the forehead on the second playthrough” style of writing, where we wanted people to see that the most interesting thing about the trickster god is he’s not actually that great of a liar - He is almost telling you a lot of the time. And, you know, some of the tragedy is it that you never had the chance to actually ask, “Wait -are you Fen’harel?”

Time: 17:13

We talked about leaving breadcrumbs, what that meant. Now the big turn, the big scene at the ending:  How did this come about, were you really involved in that sort of process and are you happy with it?

Oh, I’m absolutely happy with it. It went through several iterations,. Mike was hugely involved. The writing was definitely done by Dave; it was a huge crit path moment. He had me give a look at the Solas voice, I think I looked at it, I don’t think I actually changed a single word in the final one.

We had versions where after the main plot it was actually going to be a full plot where you the player went and were actually present when Solas confronts Mythal. We had a part where we said, “Wow that’s too big, a lot of players are gonna miss that, we’ll make it a DLC.” So it was gonna be a separate DLC where that happened. At one point we said “No, this is too big, we actually - let’s cut it and address it next game.” So it was going to be this thing that we pushed off into some future content.

I am really happy with what we went with, because, I think, you know, for my money, that short, little Marvel-style, after-the-credits stinger is what we needed. We needed something so that everyone who was paying attention and everyone who was really invested could go “oh my god!” And go, “Okay, so, just in case you were wondering, we’re not done, we have more stories to tell, and we are confident enough in what we are doing that we are willing to throw that ball.” That stinger is essentially us throwing a football to future us, trusting that we are going to catch it. Because, you know, at the end, we had that level of confidence. We felt that we had that level of confidence, we felt we made a really good game. Dave led an amazing team of writers, and I’m really touched that he has the confidence to believe that I’ll be able to carry that on for him.

Time: 19:49

When we spoke to Dave, one of the big moments that he mentioned, was when he created kind of a long-term idea for what’s going to happen in the Dragon Age universe. And to hear him say it, he mentioned that what he originally wanted for Dragon Age: Inquisition couldn’t happen - it was far too big - it wouldn’t work. And you guys had talked about  taking that concept, finishing Inquisition somewhere in the middle of that concept arc, and then using at least an influence or something like that to affect the franchise going forward.  Speaking with you now, as someone who has taken up the reins, do you know what I’m talking about? Am I talking crazy? Where do you see it going?

Um…

Reasonably - of what you can say on this.

So here’s the last scene of the next game… (laughs). I think there’s an extent to which no plan really survives contact with the audience when it comes to video games. We look at how fans react, we look at what hit, what rang true with everyone. You know, it’s funny, having people react angrily actually isn’t as bad as having people ignore things sometimes. Having people react angrily  means they were definitely emotionally engaged, so you know you hit something there. Whereas having fans go, “I don’t know, fine, I guess, whatever” and move on means, “Okay, I don’t know if that’s what we want to go back to. We didn’t actually get anything from them there, they didn’t actually remember that later.” So that’s a phase that comes after every game we ship. We look at what hit, what missed, and where we want to go from there.

Now that said, Dave’s future plan is, I think, fantastic, epic, and heartbreaking. Our plan is to use that as our starting point. To look at where we want to go, what we want to do, and it will not be - and I, you know, Dave and I have talked about this - it will not be the story that Dave would tell if he were still here as lead writer. Because it could never be that. We can get into that when we talk about Cole a little bit, but if I tried to do that I would just be doing a bad impersonation of Dave Gaider and no one is ever going to be as good at that as Dave is. My goal going forward is to, as lead, put my own spin on that process, put my own spin on the plots going forward, on the thematic elements, while keeping those same thematic elements that we had. Because, I think, what Dave has set in motion in three games, countless DLCs and expansions, is something that can endure: The idea that no choice is ever really that easy and that the great events always stem from human-understandable motivations.

So, that is where I think where we are going to go, as vaguely as I can say.

Time: 23:30

Speaking of specifically to Solas: His continuation of the story. Adding that little “Marvel moment” at the end - what do you think that did for the crit path and the overall arc of the story that players experienced in Dragon Age: Inquisition. Do you think they would have been more satisfied if there was  a DLC or is that just us gamers complaining because we can’t get everything we want right away?

Well, I think you want to leave people wanting more. “Man I wish you guys had done more” is a better problem to have than “Man I wish you guys had done less.” So, I think, looking at it from inside the studio, we didn’t have the resources to do much more than we did. So it was never going to be the big moment right then anyway. From my perspective, the reason I’m really happy we have it is, like I said, I thought it was a vote of confidence. The team is still the Dragon Age team and it is still the writers and designers who did everything else, who made such wonderful characters and were responsible for such fantastic plots.

Time 25:10

Well, again, looking at that in its completion, it’s good to see that even a character that needed to give you a stinger in your estimation didn’t take away, I guess, from the overall story you were trying to tell.

Well, thank you. Yeah it was obviously the moment we were building toward, but again, the goal was even if we didn’t have that stringer, he was still an interesting enough character that people would have not felt cheated that he was in the party.

Time: 25:35

One of the most beautiful scenes I think in Dragon Age Inquisition is the scene that you get with Solas if you play as a female elf Inquisitor. Talk a little bit about that choice to have this romance option very, very specific. It’s race- and gender- specific. Why that scene - what that scene meant and a lot of the subtext, because it is a very rich sequence of scenes, not just one. And, I think it’s really one of the most interesting romances in the game.

I love that scene because that scene for me shows how far we’ve gone past - not the make myself irrelevant anymore - but how far we’ve gone with the digital acting. Jonathan Epp the cine-designer for that scene put it together and when you take everything that Gareth David Lloyd - the voice actor - everything he did on his lines. And just putting so much tragedy, and making it clear in every line that he wants to say more than he can. And with Jon Epp the cine-designer, just in the wordless scenes: showing the tragedy, showing the heartbreak, showing how much he does genuinely care against his better judgement, and how he finally forces himself to step away.,

You know how I said when we were talking about the Iron Bull - everything, every major moment we do, is there for a specific type of player fantasy fulfillment. And you know, not all types of fantasies are the happy ones. There’s a reason why The Phantom of the Opera was on Broadway for so many years and it’s not because it has a happy ending.

The Phantom of the Opera isn’t exactly the theme for the romance -  the razor was something closer to almost professor and student in some ways. He definitely comes across as a mentor in some ways. When he finally steps back it is him beating himself up, not you, saying “Wow what I have done here is actually really unfair to you, and you, player, at the time don’t know that I’m beating myself up because I’m actually  1000s of years old and not the person you think I am and it’s disrespectful to you for me to continue this relationship.” So it’s a very moral perspective for our ancient, quasi-evil, trickster god to come with.

Time: 28:41

And it’s amazing because it’s another instance of content that so few players would actually get an opportunity to see. When it comes to making it that specific, I guess, why was that choice made? Because usually a lot of your content - most of the Dragon Age content - it’s very easy to get really rich, wonderful characters right in your face and have those wonderful “eat-em-up” experiences, why for this one was it such a steep price to get in?

You know, I won’t lie, a lot of it came from some of our designers. Some of the women in the design department really, really loving his voice and saying, “You are absolutely fools if you do not make him romance-able in some capacity.” And, really, his story overall is - and, you know, I think we’ve only hinted at that but I think we have hinted at it enough that I can at least say this part of it - his story isn’t a happy one. His story is one, where, if you look at him and Mythal, there is clearly some grief, there is clearly some tragedy. And, adding in the option - even for players who don’t take it - on my end as a writer,  knowing that some players will have this as a star-crossed, forbidden romance, you know, it makes him more sympathetic. It’s important to me as a writer because when you’re writing about someone who, according to Flemeth, is at least somewhat responsible for the bad guy getting the magical item that he used to blow up half a mountain in the prologue, it’s important to have something in there that you can always have, as a writer, look at as your touchstone and go “This is a real person. This is someone who experiences sadness. This is someone who falls in love.” Even if he doesn’t do it with that Inquisitor on that playthrough, this is always someone who can be like that.

Time: 30:58

Where do you see a character like Solas ending up?

(Big sigh) Musical theater.

(laughs) Right when we reach those beautiful moments, Patrick!

I think that it is fantastic that people have emotionally engaged with Solas and I hope we get a chance to explore that in some future content.

Alright and that’s the most that we’re getting right now.

Time: 31:37

Oh, and here’s a little tie in: Here Lies the Abyss, the demon that spoke to Solas - what was all that about, what was that going on?

Oh yes - the demon who speaks perfect Elven!

Yes perfectly to him, and if you remember any of that - did you have anything to do with that?

Yes, Here Lies the Abyss was mine. It was a fun plot. It was a terrifyingly difficult plot, because - I’m not sure how clear this is to players that have one done one playthrough or with one import state - but your key characters throughout the events at Adamant Fortress and then the events of the Fade, it’s a customizable Hawke. Which means it could be a male Hawke or a female Hawke and within that, Hawke from Dragon Age 2 is characterized by one of three different attitudes: friendly, grim, or sarcastic. So, that’s three attitudes times two genders, that’s six different Hawkes and three different possible Grey Wardens: Alistair, Loghain, or Stroud.  So, the process of going through Adamant Fortress and then going through the Fade was a crazy juggling act of trying to keep track of “Okay, now one of these five people, these five Schrodinger’s cat quantum people, will say this line, and then another of these five Schrodinger’s cat quantum people will respond with this line.”

It’s important to remember that as we went through everything in Adamant Fortress and the Fade was taking place in that contest. There was a long period time when we were looking at that really going, “Okay, I just have to hope this actually makes sense when it’s nothing but Alistair and my sarcastic female Hawke.”

But, to actually answer your question. As I recall, the Nightmare, who as a friendly, chipper guy was basically - I do basically two types of villains: I do the villain who thinks he or she is the hero, and is misguided and has opposed goals, and is kind of tragic and tortured in that way. And then I do the mean-girl villain who says snotty high school insults.

That’s it - that’s the gambit.

Well, just about, yes. I’m looking forward to see who writes the villain in the future Dragon Age games - so get ready for either tragic pathos or really, really good high school mean-girl zingers.

As I recall, he was speaking Elven to Solas and if I remember right, he said, “Your pride is responsible for everything that has gone wrong” and I think he said “You will die alone.” And then Solas said something that translates to either “Nothing is known for certain” or “Not necessarily.”

And what does all that mean?

Well I think it’s fascinating that people are emotionally engaged, and I hope we have the chance -

It was a very asked question - it was a question that was asked a lot. Specific to that.

Oh, I’m not surprised, and I hope one day that we can tell you. But, obviously, that demon knows that Solas is hurting and Solas feels guilty about some stuff and really wanted to dig in there, and Solas was shouting back.

Literally just describing what happened (laughs). All right, so something that will clearly be talked about in other games.

TIme: 36:22

Dealing with this particular quest I really think that this was one opportunity to involve the Grey Wardens in a story, and a world, that kind of progressingly, after the first game had less and less of a need to exist - let alone in the world - but in the main characters arc. Talking to David I remember initially there was some idea for this particular mission they would just fall into the hole and be hanging out in the Deep Roads, and having out with the dwarves, so tell us a little bit about this creation.

A lot of the process of writing these large plots, like I talked about the razor, you figure out what the core concept is, you always start with a lot of things, and in most cases what you then end up having to do is cut. And if you’re not someone in the studio, talking about having to cut things sounds like you’re losing awesome content, you’re ruining what would have been clearly the best part of the plot. Inside the studio though, most cases what you’re cutting is the stuff that didn’t actually help tell the story you wanted to tell.

So yes in the original version, in a very early draft, actually this was before I was actually on the plot - this predates me - there was, yes, going into the Deep Roads, and when you fell in instead of ending up in the Fade you ended up down in the dark. And finding out what the Grey Wardens in this version of the story had been involved with the Architect from Dragon Age: Awakening. It was an interesting direction, and it was, I think, a very cool direction, but it did not help tell the story of the Inquisition. It was more a story of “Hey, if we wanted to do more with the Hero of Fereldan, here is an interesting place we could go” and it did not help tell the story of “What is the Inquisition doing?” “What is Corypheus doing?”, “How do these two organizations bounce off each other and who’s caught in the middle?” So trying to come to terms with the Grey Wardens in this game not being the protagonists, not being the group that is in the center of the action but being the group that is caught in the middle of this power struggle was something that led to us having to eventually do the re-jiggering that got us to the plot you saw.

#i remember this took forever to transcribe lol #much respect to the people and computers who do this for a living #dragon age #patrick weekes #solas #reblog

[magicalgirlsandcerulean]

Ep. 10's blog post

This blog post, with Hori's second entrance, is dated 15th June 2021. Spoilers below, as always!

Notes before we begin:

For those of you who didn't check out ep. 9's blog post, see tweet 2 on that for more info about one of the characters of the day.

Due to the unintended delay on this post, I've tried to translate more completely than usual and that caused the release of this post to be postponed by another day...Sorry. Even still, consult the actual post for proper placement of emojis, coloured text etc.

This time, just for efficiency's sake, I skipped a lot of the honorifics because Hori refers to Takara, Tina and Tsumahara as -san. I've only left it in for "Balle-san" (a one-off) and when other people refer to Hori as "Hori-san" (as opposed to when Hori calls himself "Hori" with no honorific).

Also, an advance note that you'll probably want to cry when Hori pulls out the crying kaomoji. (I wanted to cry at two points when he did, at least.)

CR translations were used where I could chase them up.

Post title: バリバリのバリの禁忌其の拾！

The Very Vigorous Taboo No. Ten! [T/N: バリバリのバリ (baribari no bari) has some obvious repetition in Japanese, so I had to try convey that in English as well, even though small!Takara is more "working hard" than "vigorous". The final "bari" is a Hakata dialect thing - we already know Hori is from Fukuoka, so that fits. I had to translate the title because this phrase appears later on.]

皆様、お世話になっております。

Everyone, thank you for taking care of me. Fairy蘭丸〜あなたの心お助けします〜で雅楽代 寶 を演じております、堀 曜宏と申します。

I am called Akihiro Hori, who voices Takara Utashiro in Fairy Ranmaru ~We Will Help Your Heart~. 又の名をジャガイモ堀堀です、本日は何卒よろしくお願いします。

Also known as "Potato Digging Hori", please kindly take care of me today. [T/N: "Potato digging" = jagaimo hori, so "potato digging Hori" = jagaimo hori Hori. It also makes reference to the ep. where the kids dug up potatoes.] 禁忌其の拾『快楽』熱かったですね！！！

Episode 10, "Hedonism", was passionate, wasn't it?!!! 今回は寶さんの二回目のお当番回ということで、本編を見返しながら楽しめるような感想を主観ですが、勢いと共に書かせて頂きたいと思います。

This time was Takara's second focus episode. Although we see [elements] that recur from the original story [ep. 5], the impressions we are able to enjoy are subjective and so I will write with fervour. 開幕は女王チームとの密談からSTART!!

We START by opening the curtain on the queen team's private talk!! [T/N: "Queen team" = Queen + Houjou (+ sloth).] シリウスについて女王からせっつかれている寶さん。

The Queen is pestering Takara about Sirius. 座長…誰の台詞が麩菓子じゃい！！！！

Leader...whose lines are fugashi!!!! [T/N: Fugashi are a type of Japanese sweet. There are sweet potato fugashi, so I assume this is either a typo or a pun on a similar word. If it's a pun, the word is likely to be おかしい (strange, suspicious, unbecoming).] [T/N 2: The line below suggests "leader" (zachou) = Ranmaru, so this sentence would be referring to Sakata.] でも生配信で話している時の堀からは想像できないと思いますが…実は普段の堀は、どうやら寶さんの女王様に対する話し方くらいのらりくらりでみんなと通話しているらしく、このシーンをみんなで見てる時、ざちょ「堀さんだ」草「堀さんだねぇ」なんて言われながらみんなに笑われておりました。

However, while the stream was happening, I couldn't imagine this, but...to tell the truth, the way I usually speak to everyone is like Takara's non-committal way of speaking to the Queen, so when everyone saw this scene, the leader [Sakata] went, "That's Hori-san," and Kusano went, "That's Hori-san, isn't it?" without saying anything and so everyone laughed. 電話が切れた後の豊穣さんと女王の会話から、寶さんのお父上が夭聖界にとって如何に大事な存在だったかがわかります。

After the call was cut, we learn how important Takara's father is in the fairy world from Houjou and the Queen's conversation. そんな豊穣さんからの厚い信頼に応えるように、どこかのお姉さんへお誘いをかける寶さん…

While proving worthy of Houjou's kind confidence, Takara is asking a girl out somewhere... お相手の名前、ayakoさんって面白い名前だなぁと思ってたら、堀気づいちゃいました。[T/N: The source text, as you can see when you pause the ep. at the right time, is meant to say "[at sign]yako", but the at sign was tripping the "mention a user" function in Tumblr, so I had to swap it out with a lowercase A where it appears in this post.]

His partner's name is "ayako", which I thought was an amusing name. これ、あやこって読むんですね！！！（アハ体験）

This is read "Ayako", isn't it?!!! (a-ha moment) そしてはい、きました、 バリバリのバリのショタカラさん！！！！（人間体）

Also, we got to see him, the very vigorous sho-Takara!!!! (human form) [T/N: Literally "we got to see him" was "[he] came", LOL.] [T/N 2: Sho-Takara = shota (prepubescent boy) + Takara.] あまりの可愛さにコメントも騒然としましたね。

There was an uproar in the comments that he's excessively cute. 回想シーンでは以前も登場した、弁護士さんと寶さんの関係も明らかになりました。

The relationship between the lawyer, who's appeared before this flashback scene, and Takara is also made clear. 弁護士さんも元夭聖、しかも寶さんのお父上とただならぬ関係だったみたいです。

The lawyer was also from the fairy world and had a strong relationship with Takara's father. 幼い寶さんは弁護士さんからどんな風に人間界の生き方を仕込まれたんでしょうか…

What sort of way of living in the human world did the very young Takara learn from the lawyer...? 半裸シーツで肌に傷をおった姿のショタカラさんが、窓の外を見上げながら「いつかきっと… 」と呟く様子にその壮絶さを感じます。

The half-naked and wounded sho-Takara, looking out the window and whispering, "Someday, surely..." [gives off a] heroic feeling. [T/N: I couldn't use the CR quote for this because that's translated more in context, as just "someday".] 寶さんのエセ関西弁は、この弁護士さんに仕込まれた影響だったんですね。

Takara's fake Kansai accent is acquired from the lawyer's. そして現代に戻ったと思ったら、 飛んで火にいる子猫ちゅわん！

Also, when we think we've returned to the present, a kitten jumps into the flame! [T/N: This translation builds off the CR version of the line, "Like a kitten to the flame!"] 今回の依頼人、ティナさんの登場です！！

This time's client, Tina, appears!! 「ちょっと何言ってるかわからないんだけど！」

"Oh, please! That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!" 寶さんこの時のっけから飛ばしまくっていたので、堀はこの台詞がツボに入って笑いを堪えるのが大変でした。

Takara, at that time, couldn't help but send her flying from the beginning and it was difficult for me because I was trying not to laugh - there was "tsubo" in my lines. あいも変わらずスマートに名刺を渡すも、「世界で一番惚れてる男のところに連れてって！」とピシャリ。

Even after [Takara was] as smooth as ever and [handed] over the business card, she refused with "Take me to the man I love most!" [T/N: The word for "smooth" here is literally "smart", but "smart" doesn't seem to have the right connotations.] …どうやら今回の依頼人も、一筋縄ではいかないみたいです。

...apparently, this time's client seems very straightforward. 『快楽』ﾁﾘﾘﾘﾝ

"Hedonism" *ring ring ring* 寶さんはティナさんをお子さんのお迎えに連れて行き、そのまま2人を仕事場へと送り届けます。

Takara brought Tina to her child and, without a pause, brought those two to [Tina's] workplace. 仕事場ではみんなでティナさんのお子さんをあやしていたり、同僚の方のティナさんのダンスへの信頼に、思わずいい職場だなぁと感心する堀でしたが。。。

At the workplace, everyone comforted Tina's child and Tina's colleagues had confidence in her dance, so I admired, without thinking, how good of a workplace it was... そこに現れる父親、妻原さんですよ！！！！！（ﾌﾝﾇｰ‼︎）

Then the husband, Tsumahara, appeared!!!!! (Barbarian!!) [T/N: There is no confirmed reading of this name, so it might be "Tsumabara".] 前回のうるう回の久二さんも相当でしたが…勝るとも劣らない圧倒的なそれ…っ！！

He's equivalent to last time's (Uruu's episode's) Kyuji...but [Kyuji] overwhelmingly compares favourably to that guy...!! お子さんの顔も見ずにお金をせびるのみならず、ティナさんの一張羅のコートまで…！！

Not only does he demand money without seeing his child's face, but he also goes as far as taking Tina's one good coat...!! ちょっと申し訳なさそうにして受け取るのがまた、なんかもう…っ！！

The fact he looks a little apologetic as he receives it is just...!! だのにティナさんは、頑張って稼がなきゃって…″家族″のためにって(′つω；｀)

Despite this, Tina must try her hardest to make money...for her "family". (′つω；｀) その言葉は、お子さんに対してだけじゃなくて…うわぁああああ！！！

Those word aren't just for her family...uwaaaaa!!! 次のカットで妻原さんは貰ったそのお金をギャンブルに突っ込んでました（遠い目）

In the next cut, Tsumahara pushes the money he received into gambling. (distant eyes) この時の寶さんのモテポイント、 「姉さん、そろそろ出番でっせ」は何も見なかったように落ち着いて投げてあげて、 それでも見られたくない所を見られちゃった、というニュアンスが返ってきたら 「こういうことする俺、格好ええやろ？」と冗談まじりに茶化しながら優しさを渡す。

This is the time Takara is popular. He says, "Dearie? I think you're on." He calms down and gives up as if he never saw anything, but even still, after he returned [from seeing her exchange with Tsumahara] with a nuance of "he saw what he did not want to see", he would joke gently, "Aren't I cool for doing this sort of thing?" and poke fun at himself. この機微がモテる大人のテクニックなんですよ…！！

This subtlety is a technique popular with adults...!! 見てくださってる男性の皆さんにも是非取り入れていただきたい…なぁみんな！！？

Any men watching should certainly take in this [advice]...yeah, everyone?!! 堀は後十年は修行させてください(′・ω・｀)

Please train me [in the art of love] for another 10 years. (′・ω・｀) はい、一方BAR Fは今日もカレーです。

Yes, at the same time, there's curry at Bar F today too. 前回のラストが熱い…！展開だっただけに、皆さんあれからどうなったのか、眠れない夜を過ごされていたと思います。

The conclusion last time was intense...! I'm sure everyone had a sleepless night wondering what happened after that development. 何気なく水をうるうくんに渡す焔くん 、 何気なく焔くんを気遣ううるうくん、 照れながらも返事をする焔くん、 嬉しそうな蘭丸樹果バックン。

Homura, who's casually giving water to Uruu,

Uruu, who worries about Homura,

Homura, who blushes while responding,

Ranmaru, Juka and Bakkun, who seem happy. てぇてぇが過ぎてぇ堀は平身低頭（てぇとう）ですありがてぇ…ありがてぇてぇ！！！！

They're excessively precious and I was prostrating myself, thanking them...thanks, precious!!!! [T/N: Hori slurs several of his words in this sentence, typically てぇてぇ = toutoi (precious/noble), 平身低頭 = heishin teitou (prostrating oneself) and ありがてぇ = arigatou (thank you). He then combines てぇてぇ and ありがてぇ, hence "precious".] それから所変わってお出掛け中の寶さん、 いつも通りキスのおねだりを茶化しながら交わしていきます。

Then, in the meantime, Takara was out, as always, begging for kisses and teasing a woman. 聞こえないくらいの声で憂うように、「わいが欲しいのは、なんやろなぁ」とポツリ。

In a voice that can barely be heard, he mumbles, "I don't know what I want..." この台詞は後の展開にも効いてくる凄く大事な台詞なんですが…。

This line is very important in terms of later developments... コメントで「（カレーには）ナンやろなぁ…」って書いた人怒らないから正直に言いなさい（ﾋﾟｷﾋﾟｷ）

In the comments, there was a person who wrote, "I don't know what (curry) I want..." - please say who you are, I won't be mad *veins snap* Aパー��おしまい！

That's the end of the A part! ブログでもCM入ります！情報いっぱいだよ！

This is a blog, but I'll still insert ads! There's a lot of info! ・山野ホールでライブします！（9/18だよ！）

- The live show at Noyama Hall! (On the 18th of September!) ・特典盛り沢山のBD、DVD発売します！（第1巻は６/16発売！）

- The BD/DVD is being sold, with lots of bonuses! (1st BD/DVD sold on the 16th of June!) ・キャラソンアルバムHEAVENS DOOR発売します！（同じく6/16、遂に艶歌が全部聞けるよ！）

- The character song album HEAVEN'S DOOR is being sold! (On the same day [as the BD/DVD], the 16th of June, so you can finally hear the whole enka!) てつえーさん「Nice Pole Dance…ﾀﾞﾝｽﾀﾞﾝｽ」（ええ声エコー）

Tetsuei [Sumiya]: "Nice pole dance...(dance dance)" (nice voice echo) Bパートいきます！！

To the B part!! 開幕ティナさんのキラキラポールダンスからスタート！！

The curtain opens on Tina, who starts with a sparkling pole dance!! お子さんを膝に乗せて馴染んでいる寶さん。

The child, who's on the lap of and [now] accustomed to Takara. お子さんのママ～！の声、可愛いですねぇ(´,,･Д･,,`)

The child's cry of "Mama~!" was cute, wasn't it? (´,,･Д･,,`) やはり彼のためにも、家族の為にも頑張るというティナさん。

Of course, Tina will try hard for his sake, for the family's sake. 自身の生い立ちから、家族という存在をいかに大事にしているかが伺えます。

From his own background, we can see how much he values the existence of his family. 5話の寶回の時の依頼人の恵夢さんもやはり家族のために身を粉にして働いていましたし、今回のティナさんも…。

From episode 5's Takara episode, the client, Emu, also worked assiduously for her family, so this time's Tina also... 寶さんにも金鋼族の復興のため、寶さんのため、痩せ細った体で自分の食べるものすら譲ってくれたお母さんという存在がいたからこそ、家族のために自分を犠牲にして頑張る方に複雑な思いを抱いてしまうのでは無いでしょうか。

In order for Takara to revive the Metallum Clan, for Takara's sake, Takara's mother even gave over her own food and it is precisely because of that that she became a victim of trying hard for the sake of her family and that's why Takara has such complicated emotions, is it not? しかも今回はその″家族″が不義を行っているなんて…。

Moreover, this time, this time's "family" is unjust... そしてそして！！！！！

Also, also!!!!! お待たせしました！銭湯ノルマ達成ですありがとうございます！！

Thanks for waiting! Thanks for fulfilling the bath quota!! この時流れてきた「みんなストローは持ったかァ！！」ってコメント、爆笑しました。

At this time, the comment that came about was "Everyone's holding straws!!" and so there was uproarious laughter. [T/N: It's not clear if there's just one person laughing or many, hence the intentional vagueness.] ですが今回の銭湯の中身はすっごくシリウス…じゃなかったシリアス。

However, this time's bath [scene] is amazingly serious...not (Sirius). [T/N: Hori inserts Sirius's name at the end of the sentence as a pun on "serious", so if it seemed like the translation said "serious, not serious", I did my job.] みんなの顔を眺めながら、豊穣さんと交わした特命の話を回想していきます。

After we gaze at everyone's faces, we go to a flashback scene where [Takara is] given his directive from Houjou. その中には女王に内密の話まで…そんな重たいものを背負いながら、寶さんはみんなに毎日カレーを作っていたんですね。

In that it's to the point it's kept a secret from the Queen...Takara makes curry for everyone everyday while burdened with those heavy things, huh? でも、これまで毎日みんなでカレーを食べて、銭湯に入って、愛著を集めて、日々を過ごして。

However, until now, every day everyone's eaten their curry, gone to the bath, gathered attachment and spent their days [together].

家族として一緒に過ごしてきたみんなの顔を見回した時の寶さんの顔は、優しさに満ち溢れた顔でした。

As family, when spending time together and looking around at everyone's faces, Takara's face is full of affection. この時の「楽しい時間は長く続きまへんな」という台詞。

At this time, there is the line: "The fun times never last, do they?" 寶さんのみならず、堀自身もF蘭の最終回の近さを意識しておりましたので、言葉にした時に込み上げるものがありました。

Not only Takara, but I personally realised F-Ran's final episode is near and so, while I'm bad at putting this into words, [emotions] welled up inside me. そして明らかになる妻原さんの別の家族の存在。

Then, it becomes clear Tsumahara has a different family. ティナさんと妻原さんの会話が始まります。

Tina starts a conversation with Tsumahara. もうここの妻原さんのクズっぷりが真骨頂！！！

Already, the Tsumahara from this [point in] time's true worth is basically scum!!! ティナさんがあまりにもあまりにも可哀想で…

Tina is really, really unfortunate... 「お前も俺を見捨てるんだな！！」

"So, you're abandoning me too!!" あんた、別のところでも同じようなことしとったんか…？

Aren't you the same, even though it's from a different perspective...? 絶望のあまり、倒されたゴミ袋の上で笑うしかなくなってしまうティナさん。

Without much remorse, Tina has no choice as she's left collapsed on the rubbish bags and Tsumahara laughs. そこに夭聖は現れるんです…！！

Then, the fairies appear...!! 「美人さん、お持ち帰りしてええか？」

"Lovely lady, might I walk you home?" ほんと、全人類言ってみたい台詞トップ5にランクインする台詞です…！！

Really, that's going to rank in the top 5 lines that all of humanity wants to be said to them...!! チャイルドシートを携えたいつもの車でティナさんの話を聞く寶さん。

Takara listens to the story of Tina, who's always carrying a child seat around with her. 「わかってた、利用されてるだけって」

"I knew...some part of me knew he was just using me." 「なのに、あいつがポケットに手を入れた時にさ、指輪かなって思ったんだよね」

"But when he reached into his pocket, I honestly thought it might be a ring." 「笑顔で溢れるあったかい家庭、作りたかったの」

"I wanted to create a happy family, full of smiles..." この台詞が悲痛過ぎて…。

These lines are too sorrowful... 堀は最初、思わず拳を握りしめて返す台詞をかけてしまいました。

I, at first, clenched my fists without thinking at these lines. ですがこの時、製作陣から、何より真摯に優しさを向けてあげて。

However, this time, I felt sincerely affectionate for this cobbled-together group. 頑張っている人は報われるんだよ。ってティナに伝えて欲しい、というディレクションを頂いて。

I received the direction that I should convey to Tina, "Hard work will be rewarded!" このシーンの台詞は寶さん自身の言葉で、その思いが乗らなきゃダメなんだと何度もトライさせていただきました。

This scene's dialogue is in Takara's own words and I had to try repeatedly to convey his thoughts on it. 「あなたの心、頂けますか？」 から大自然の流れでジャ…変身の時間だぁーーー！！！！！

After "Could I take your heart?", the scene changes and...it's transformation time---!!!!! 思わずナイスバルク！と声をかけたくなる惚れ惚れする筋肉。

Without thinking, I was charmed by [Takara's] muscles and wanted to call out, "Nice bulk!" 画面いっぱいに広がる肉体美と拳、地面をぶっ壊しながらあげる名乗り。

The physical beauty of his body and fists filled the screen, he broke the ground and called out his name. 格好よさが臨界点突破して美しいに昇華しとるんですよ！！！！！！！

His coolness has broken through the critical point and sublimated itself into beauty!!!!!!! 妻原さんはティナさんとあんな会話をした後だというのに、 魂が昂りながら「夢も愛もどうでもいい」なんて曰いながらギャンブルに興じていらっしゃいますねぇ…。

Tsumahara, even after he had that conversation with Tina, happily spends his days gambling, arousing his spirit as he says, "What do dreams and love matter?" バレさん、技を借りるぜ…！！

Balle-san, I'll borrow a technique of yours...!! ふざけんにょ！！！！！

Stop screwing around!!!!! [T/N: reference to Balle-san's ep. 9 post] そして始まる艶歌、五話もそうでしたが、歌詞が今回の話とのリンクして、絵の美しさも合間って没入してしまいます。

Then the enka begins - it was in ep. 5 as well but the lyrics are linked to this episode and I was immersed in the beauty of the visuals for a moment. 早くフルで聴いてほしい！！！皆様、是非HEAVENS DOORを！「愛の勘定」も勿論ですが、みんなの艶歌をフルで聴けばストーリーとのリンクが増して、よりグッと来るはずです！！！

I want you to hurry and listen to the full version!!!! Everyone, please listen to HEAVEN'S DOOR! There's "Payment of Love" of course, but if you listen to everyone's full enka, you'll [be able to make] links with the story and it will hit you in the feels!!! 艶歌が終わり、ドアが開けば今回のヘブンズ空間はまるで屏風の中に入ったかのような和風の世界。

After the enka ends, the door opens to this time's Heaven's Room, which is a Japanese-style world quite like that on a folding screen. そこに雷神と雷神を模したかのような敵が現れます。

Then, enemies that look like the well-known thunder god and a thunder god's imitation appear. [T/N: referring to Raijin] 毎回のことですが、ヘブンズ空間も本当に趣向を凝らしてあって…ど緊張のバトルシーンのはずなのに、思わず堀の魂も昂ってしまいます…！！！

It happens every time, but these Heaven's Rooms are really ingenious...there should've been a hugely nerve-wracking battle scene, but without thinking, my spirit was unintentionally aroused...!!! なんと今回の鍵穴にはティナさんとお子さんの2人が！

What? This time Tina and her child are both behind the keyhole! なぜわかったノルマに愛らしい声が混ざる日が来るとは。

I never thought I'd see the day where a charming voice would be mixed in with the "What? I got it!" quota. そしてもう一方の鍵穴からは妻原さんの極悪な声が…

Also, in the other keyhole is Tsumahara's heinous voice... 「人はなあ！快楽には勝てねぇんだよ！」 「酒！タバコ！セッッッ！！薬物！！特にギャンブルはなぁ！！」

"A person can't conquer their hedonistic tendencies! The pleasures of drinking! Smoking! Sex! Drugs! And gambling especially!!" [T/N: Hori censors the word "sex" by "stuttering" over the final syllable but CR doesn't, so I've sided with the latter.] 座長が現場で ハッキリ言ったぁーーー！！！ってツッコんでたのを覚えていますw

"The leader put it clearly at the time--!!!" I remember joking. ですが、言葉のパワーはもうネタの領域を超えた、狂気の世界のそれです。

However, that is a mad world where the power of words is beyond the realm of stories. その言葉に促されるように敵から酒の玉攻撃が、 そしてもう一方の敵からはヤニの煙の攻撃が。

With those urging words, the enemies send bubbles of alcohol and then from the other side comes a tobacco smoke attack. この時のうめき声のディレクションは、堀くん今○○kgの重りが乗ってるよ！！ と言われながら、体にそれに合わせた負荷をかけるように声を出していました。次の日筋肉痛になりました。

At this time, when the direction, "Groan and pretend you have a __ kg weight on you!!" was given, as I shouted, it was like a corresponding load was being added. The next day my muscles hurt. なんとか持ち堪えた寶さんですが、 「なら、これならどうかしら…」 その言葉��共に現れる寶さんのお母さんの幻想。

Takara's able to hold out somehow, but then an illusion of Takara's mother appears with the words, "Well, what will you do?" 前回もうるうくんのお母さんと焔くんのお父さんが現れましたが、まさか今回は寶さんのお母さんが…。

Last time, Uruu's mother and Homura's father appeared, so surely this time Takara's mother... しかもこんな形で痩せ細っていないお母さんの姿を見ることになるなんて…！

Furthermore, to see his not-so-skinny mother in this form...! あの優しかった声で、こちらに攻撃をかけてきます。

This is the attack that's given with that gentle voice. 押し倒されて首をしめられる寶さん。

Takara is being held down and strangled [by his mother's illusion]. この時の台詞の色気も相まって、まるで2人が繋がっているような…

Coupled with the sexiness of the dialogue at this point, it's as if the two are connected... 更に畳み掛けるようにチェリーの入ったグラスから液体を口に含み、そのマッマ寶さんの口に流し込みます。

Furthermore, as if pressing for answers, Takara's mother uses her mouth to pour liquid into Takara's mouth, from a glass with a cherry in it. 苦しさのあまり悶絶絶叫する寶さん、これは先の妻原さんの「酒、タバコ、セッッッッ、そして薬物」それらの快楽を暗喩しているのでしょうか。

Is Takara, who's about to scream and faint in agony, [being subjected to] metaphors for hedonism Tsumahara was mentioning earlier? そしてシリウスの登場です。

Also, Sirius appears. す○ざんまいのポーズって言うのやめーや！！！

Stop doing the Su___zanmai pose!!! [T/N: referring to the dude who stands with his hands outstretched from Sushizanmai] しかし今回の句には堀は思わず確かに…と頷いてしまいました。

However, this time I couldn't help but nod and say, "Indeed..." 人は何故ほんの刹那の快楽のために沢山のものを犠牲にしてしまうのか…

Why do we sacrifice so much for a fleeting moment of pleasure? むしろ刹那だからこそ、それを追い求めてしまうのかもしれませんね（哲学）

Rather, it's because it's momentary that we chase it and seek it out? (philosophising) 苦しみながらも、「俺が欲しいものはこんなんじゃない」と懸命に耐える寶。

Even in agony, Takara eagerly bears it [and says], "This isn't what I want." しかしそれも、「あなたが欲しいのは、母親からの豊満な愛情でしょう？」と、肥大化した幻想に押しつぶされる寶さん。

However, in addition to that, the illusion becomes fat [with the words], "What you want is the full-bodied love of your mother!" ニコニコのタグにもありましたが、確かに快楽要素全部乗せプレスは重い、重すぎます。

As the tag on Nico Nico said, it is true that all the hedonistic elements being pressed are heavy, far too heavy, イきかける寶さんですがなんとか力を振り絞り、幻想を押しのけます。

Takara is about to have the life choked out of him, but he comes to his senses and pushes the illusion away. しかしそれが最後の力だったのか、体が動かず追撃をかわせそうにありません…！

However, that was the last of his strength and so he's not able to move...! これで終わりか…と思ったその瞬間ですよ！！！！！

This was the moment...I thought it was the end!!!!! 最高に勇ましい掛け声と共に焔が敵の攻撃から寶を守ります！！

With a shout, Homura, who's the best and heroic, comes and protects Takara from attack!! そのまま蘭丸とうるうが雷神と風神を倒し、樹果が 「オン・アユス・ヴァルタ！」の掛け声とともにペロキャンを振って寶さんを回復してくれます。

Similarly, Ranmaru and Uruu bring down the thunder gods and, with his tongue stuck out and his lollipop, Juka yells, "On ayus valta!" to heal Takara. ここ、さいっっっっっこうに熱かったです！！！！！

This was the most intensssssssssssssse [moment]!!!!! 寶のピンチに駆けつけるファミリー達、初めての全員集合、初めての共闘！！！

This is the first time they've [run to Takara's aid and] fought as a family when Takara was in a pinch!!! 台本を読ませてもらった時は、遂にきたか…！くらいの興奮だったんですが、 現場でこのシーンを録った時、こーすけの「はぁあああああ！！」って勇ましい声が聞こえてきた瞬間、鳥肌がブワァーって！体がカァーッて！熱くなったことを強く覚えています。

When reading the script, I was exhilarated to the point of going, "Finally, they came!" and now that this scene is recorded, I strongly remember the moment Kohsuke [Tanabe] valiantly can be heard going, "Haaaaaaaaaaa!!" I got goosebumps from the passion. 蘭丸とうるうの声も頼もしくて、樹果のたからぁ～！って呼び声に癒されて。

Trustworthy Ranmaru and Uruu, and Juka healing Takara by calling out his name. こんなに頼もしい仲間達が揃って、負けるわけがないですよ！！！！

With trustworthy friends like these, you won't lose!!!! この後の飛び上がるシーンも、月を殴りつけるシーンも、高まったボルテージを思いっきりぶつけさせて頂きました！

After this is the flying scene, the moon-breaking scene and I was able to use my heightened [emotions] to the fullest! [T/N: Hori calls his heightened emotions "voltage".] そしてGO TO HEAVEN!!!!!

Then, GO TO HEAVEN!!!!! 「またすっからかんかよぉ～！」なんて言いながら、トドメを刺された時の勢いで手持ちをオールインしてしまう妻原さん。

Tsumahara, for some reason, said, "I'm broke again?!" as he's finished off while playing everything he has with an all-in due to his leftover momentum. [T/N: the all-in in poker] ティナさんの「寶さん、あなたと結ばれたかった…」

Tina: "Takara...I wish we could've been together." 依頼人からこんなに純粋に好意を向けられるなんて…寶さんも罪な人ね。

The client has this kind of pure affection [for him]...Takara's also a wrongdoer, isn't he? ですがそれは叶わない、ティナさんもわかっているからこその過去形なのでしょうか…。

However, that can't be granted, since Tina understanding him is now past tense, isn't it...? こんなにも切ないワンシーンなのに、もう1人の堀が「あなたと結バレッタ裕…」って囁いてきてもうダメです（現在朝4時）

In this one heartrending scene, too, another Hori whispers to me, "You and Yutaka Balletta ..." but it's already no good (currently 4 in the morning)

全てが片付き、夭聖体のみんなが寶さんに声をかけてきます。

Everything's wrapped up so everyone calls out to Takara. なんだよお前ら、ちくしょー、まじで、お前ら…(′つω；｀)

What the hell, everyone, damn, really, you guys... (′つω；｀) しかもうるうくん、「僕たちは、ファミリーなのだから」それってさ、焔くんのことも、みんなのことも引っくるめて″ファミリー″なんだよね…？

Yet, Uruu goes, "We're family, in case you've forgotten." That means Homura and everyone are 'family', huh...? 万感の思いを込めて「サンキュ」と一言だけ返す寶さん。

Takara returns that with a single word full of emotions: "Thank you." 寶さん、あなたの欲しかったものって、きっと…

Takara, what you really want is certainly... そして後方家族面の蘭丸、その視線の先には様子を見ていたチルカが…。

Then, from behind Ranmaru, Chilka, who was watching him out of the corner of his eye... かつて愛していると言っていた蘭丸に対して、「Go to Hell!!地獄に落としてやる！」と言い残してその場を去ります。

As opposed to [when] he said he loved Ranmaru in the past, he leaves as he [yells], "Go to hell!!" …何故和訳してくれたんだ…。そこに不穏な空気が残ります。

Why did this Japanese translation come up? This left a disquieting atmosphere. [T/N: Hori translates "Go to hell!" (ENG) as "Fall into hell!" (JPN).] 豊穣さんの「いいファミリーになりましたな」

Houjou: "They've become a fine family indeed." この一言、嬉しかったなぁ。

I was happy with this one brief comment.

第一話の時、「君たちは今からファミリーだ」 なんて言われて戸惑っていた5人ですが、今では声を大にしてファミリー蘭丸って叫べます。

In episode 1, he says, "From now on, you are family," leaving the 5 of them bewildered, but now they can yell about how they're "family Ranmaru". いや、ファミリー蘭丸ではないけどね！？山本さんのプリティミス（伏線）だけどね！？笑

No, not "family Ranmaru"?! Is this a pretty mistake from Yamamoto (foreshadowing)?! (LOL) [T/N: This is referring to Bakkun's VA Kazutomi Yamamoto. Also, yes, it does say "pretty mistake", but it's likely to be "printing mistake".] そんな中改めて十訓を厳守させよと戒める女王。

In that [part], the Queen once again demands rigid adherence of the 10 Laws. あのような過ちとは…過去の因縁はまだ根が深そうです。

A mistake like that... it seems that past fates are still deep-rooted. そしてここからが怒涛の展開ですよ皆さん。

Then, everyone, the surge in developments [happens] from here. なんとあのシルク・ドゥ・マーズから合格通知が届いたティナさん！

Tina's somehow received a notification of acceptance into Cirque de Mars! 相当頑張ってきた努力が遂に実って、ニューヨークから熱いラブコールをかけられています。

The hard work she put in has finally pulled off and she's receiving passionate calls from New York. 喜んでいたのも束の間、そこに現れたのはなんと妻原さん！！？

It was a short moment that she could be happy, and then, who would arrive but Tsumahara?!! あんたって人は、懲りずにまだティナさんに…と持ったらなんと勝ちすぎちまったから命を狙われている！？

He's still trying to teach Tina a lesson, but...he won too much and they're gonna kill him?!

それもしかして、GO TO HEAVENされた時のオールインで…！？

On top of that, what about the all-in from the GO TO HEAVEN...?! すっからかんかよォー！！じゃなかったのかよォー！！

He's not broke anymore?!! 費用も全て持つから連れて行ってくれ、なんて、うーん、ティナさんとしては助かるけど…。

He'll come along, pay for everything and, yeah, sorta help Tina out...? まぁ、イケメンだからいっか……よくないわい！！！！

Well, he's handsome...but no!!!! [T/N: reference to ep. 5] 改心して今度こそ家族になるのか、それともニューヨークでまた悶着を起こすのかはわかりませんが、なんにせよティナさんとお子さんの先行きが明るくて良かったです。

I don't know if the family has reformed properly or if they're going to New York to quarrel again, but Tina and her child's future is bright. その様子を微笑ましく見ていた寶さんの元に、一本の電話が。

After seeing the smiling child's face, he receives a call. シリウスの事を伝えていた弁護士さんから、大変なことがわかったぞ、と。

The lawyer uncovered some [information] about Sirius and it's something unbelievable. 女王の過去や！と言いながら見せた一枚の写真には…、 あ、あ、あ、あ、あアイドルユニットぉ！！？

"...the Queen's past!" he says as we're shown a photo of an...i-i-i-i-i-idol unit?!! かつて一大ブームを巻き起こした、ウィンタートライアングル。

Winter Tri-angels, who created a sensational big boom in the past. シリウス！？ベテルギウス！！？プロキオン…？

Sirius?! Betelgeuse?!! Procyon...? シリウスとベテルギウスは恐らく…でも姿が…！？

Sirius and Betelgeuse are probably...but that form is...?! そして女王の過去というのは、この写真とどう関係してくるのでしょうか…。

Also, what does the Queen's past have to do with this picture...? 女王の過去や、チルカと蘭丸の確執、夭聖界のことや、寶さんの言っていたもう一山、更にここに来てまた新しい謎が…！！！

The Queen's past, Chilka and Ranmaru's antagonism, the fairy world, all the stuff Takara said - on top of that, another mystery...!!! 本編もいよいよクライマックスに向けて、盛り上がりが止まるところを知りません。

At last, we're approaching the climax of the main story and I don't know if [the tension] will stop rising.

いよいよあと二話ですが、最後までみんなで大騒ぎしていきましょう！

Finally, there's two episodes to go, so let's get really excited until the end! Fairy蘭丸～あなたの心お助けします～ 次回『憎悪』もお見逃しなく！！というわけで、禁忌其の拾『快楽』堀の感想ここまでとなります。

Don't miss the next episode of Fairy Ranmaru ~We Will Help Your Heart~, "Hatred"!! That's it for my impressions on Taboo No. 10, "Hedonism". ここまで長い文章に付き合って頂き、ありがとうございました！！

Thanks for keeping me company [as I write] these long sentences!! 余談なんですが、大体メインキャストは一緒に録るんですが、この回の収録は実は堀が1人ブースに籠って先に録られた皆様の声を聴きながら台詞を当てておりました。

As a side note, usually the main cast would record together, but this time, I was alone in the booth, listening to the voices of those who recorded before as I added my lines. 収録が終わってからブースのドアを開けて、 誰もいないだろうなぁ、と思ってフッと休憩スペースを見たら、 なんと5 to HEAVENのみんなが残ってくれてて、映像が流れるディスプレイをずっと見守ってくれてて、 こっちを向いて堀さんお疲れ！とか、メッチャ汗だくじゃん！とか笑いながら言ってくれて。

When I finished recording and opened the booth, I looked at the rest area, thinking no one was there. Surprisingly, everyone from 5 to HEAVEN was there, watching over a video display. They turned to me and said things like, "Good work, Hori-san!" and "You're so sweaty!" so I laughed while I talked. その瞬間、堀の頭の中に寶さんのサンキュ。のシーンがリフレインして、 なんかしどろもどろになるくらい嬉しかったです。きっとあの瞬間は忘れられないです。

In that moment, the scene where Takara says, "Thank you," played again in my head and although I was [in a state of] confusion, I was happy. I will surely not forget that moment. はい、余談終わり！笑

Yes, I'm done with my side note! (LOL) 話が進むにつれて、SNSで#F蘭丸であげてくださってる実況や感想、ファンアートや、写真など、盛り上がっているのを実感しております。

To continue the conversation, use #F蘭丸 on your real-time impressions, fanart, photos etc., which will give a real feeling to your excitement. そしてそれを見ている時、堀はスマホを握りしめるくらい嬉しくなります。

Also, when I see those, I become so happy, I grasp my phone tightly. いつもF蘭を応援して下さり本当にありがとうございます。皆さんの声が僕らの力になります！

As always, really, thank you for supporting F-Ran. Everyone's voices will be my strength! 引き続きFairy蘭丸を応援の程、何卒よろしくお願いいたします！！！

Please kindly take care of me as you continue to support Fairy Ranmaru!!! このブログ書くの頑張ったからな！

I tried my best with this blog [post]! 読んでくれてメチャクチャ嬉しかったからな！

Thanks a lot for reading! 雅楽代 た～から！役の堀曜宏でした！

This has been Akihiro Hori! who plays the role of Ta~kara Utashiro! スネークバァーイ！🐍

Snake-bye!🐍 [T/N: "Snakebite Hori" joke.] ワイの魅力、皆にも伝わったかな～？

Takara: Did I convey my appeal to everyone~?

Update: Fixed the note regarding "Yamamoto". Thanks, @blankie-greenie-anon.

Update 2: Missed a sentence, improved a sentence and fixed some pronouns and other minor things.

Update 3: Improved a sentence.

#Fairy Ranmaru #Fairy Ranmaru spoilers #Akihiro Hori #Takara Utashiro

[confusedhost-archive]

She-Ra tumblr au

I made this with @maycombhoney​ at some point and was thinking about it earlier today.

---

Adora: Has a popular sideblog named She-Ra about her boxing and fighting abilities but very few people follow her main account. Her sideblog is simple, with a lot of self defense tips and stuff, and sometimes people see reblogs of stuff that are supposed to go to her main account show up. They’re pretty boring, so they usually don’t check out the main account

Glimmer: Lots of sparkly moodboards and stuff with a really pretty aesthetic, and that’s all you see when you follow, but once you’re following, your dash starts having a bunch of vent posts about her mom and there’s a lot of discourse. Glimmer gets mad at posts easily. There’s also a lot of anon hate to her. It’s kinda depressing. If she ever posts art, she often has to take it down because no matter how often she says not to, people repost it, and she can’t let her mom connect the dots. 

Bow: He talks a lot about bows. Shows off a lot of his arrow creations and how-to's on making them at home. They’re too complicated to actually work though. Most of his followers find him through Adora’s side blog She-Ra, where he’s often tagged. It’s usually because she posts selfies of their adventures and he’s in them. Glimmer is too, but she’s well known on her own. 

Double Trouble: Their username is from some small fandom no one has ever heard of, their profile pic is from some abandoned cartoon from a year ago, their header is a gif scene from at least three different shows that were shot in the same place, and their line underneath is a quote from an old musical from the 90′s. The blog is about none of those and has a bunch of posts from a show no one can find. They often get asks about what show it is, to which they give a name, and when they’re asked for a link, it never seems to work. People have given up. At some point, someone noticed that you can actually figure out what’s going on in the show if you look at the gif sets and put them together in order of episode (which is labeled at the bottom). See the thing is, Double Trouble is using the mystery and confusion of this blog to advertise the show they wrote, directed and acted out. No one knows how it’s possible, but the people who know what happened are both under oath to not tell anyone and also extremely confused as to how Double Trouble managed it. Including me. I don’t know how it was managed, but I do have a theory that I’m about to send to @sheblah​. This does mean that she’s required to post my thing the moment she sees it.  Edit: She didn’t so I have to take matters into my own hands. Here’s the post I made with it

Catra: Catra’s posts have been a lot of discourse posts, with her being wrong. You can see in the tags that she knows exactly what she’s doing and that she’s making the wrong posts to be a jerk. She and Adora used to be mutuals (no one knows how, there’s no way their blogs should have ever crossed) but Adora saw one of her discourse posts and blocked her for around a month. After that, Catra stopped trying to reconnect. Now! Catra is less of a jerk on her tumblr and posts a bunch of cute photos of her therapy animal, Melog (no one knows what species Melog is but whatever-) and reblogs a lot of stuff about therapy and anger management. One day she put up a post about how she was getting therapy, and people spammed her with congratulations. She told them that she was crying and thanked them all deeply. Sometimes people still bring up how horrible she was and she has to put out a post saying how she recognizes this and she apologizes for everything she did. She nearly never answers the hate asks. She’s getting better. 

Perfuma: She has a cottagecore aesthetic account, it’s really pretty. She once made a cactus hating post and it blew up. She gets anons making fun of her for it to this day. Very annoying. Most people follow her for the discourse she participates in. It can be quiet for weeks, months even, and then she’ll find some idiot saying something dumb and will fight for, days sometimes, to set them right. It used to be Catra that she would fight with a lot. They ended up becoming enemy mutuals, following each other in order to mess up the other’s discourse post. This also meant that Perfuma was the first to see and cause change in Catra’s way of thinking and actions. Perfuma always reminds herself of the fact that she helped someone change for the better once. She’s proud.

Frosta: Is not legally allowed to be on tumblr. It’s a problem. But at the same time she just? Doesn’t seem to follow anyone at all? Sometimes people will send asks about a post that went viral, and she never seems to know anything about it. She hasn’t been affected by tumblr at all, and seems to post something, answer questions, and then log off to make her next thing. It’s... kind of strange, actually. Everyone knows she’s underage, but has no proof, so they can’t tell her to get off tumblr or anything. And if anyone asks how old she is, she gives a random number (A few favorites are “69,” “420,” “I stopped counting after the first hundred years,” “It’s a bit of a pardox actually, because in total I’m around 80, but I’ll be born in three years so... I’m -3 apparently,” “Old enough to beat you in a drinking contest,” “I’m a god, and have no beginning nor end,” and the best of them all, a video of someone being thrown into the air by a pillar of ice with the caption, “Begone thot.”) Frosta picks and chooses her battles when it comes to answering asks. No hate is ever seen on her blog and no one is sure whether it’s because she never gets it, or because she never answers it. She doesn’t get it. 

Entrapta: A lot of cool videos and vlogs and experiments. After about three months of being on tumblr, someone said they had an experiment she might like, and asked if they could send an ask about it and have her try it out. After that, she made it her pinned post to say, “Taking experiment requests! Have something you want me to try out?” She’s always tinkering now, and she loves it! Someone once asked her to explain one of her videos more simply, and she did! But it was too simple, and the person who asked thought she was making fun of them. A helpful follower of Entrapta’s made a better explanation in a reblog and was seen as better, so Entrapta now lets her followers explain how they see is best! She’ll reblog it onto the main account so everyone can see. If they need help, she can always take back the reigns! 

Mermista: No one is quite sure what her blog is about. There’s a lot of posts about this really obscure murder mystery book series. The ones made by the blog itself are videos of arson and mild theft. The videos are horrible quality, and no one knows what’s going on until at the very end of this three minute long vid, the camera stills, zooms in, and shows a boat on fire. It’s not on the news. Sometimes you’ll see a reblogged post that seems eerily relevant to the posts before and after. The mood the entire way through is basically just this meme

She once made a uquiz that told you what crime you committed. It is... scarily accurate. The questions had nothing to do with the answer at all. You are horrified. There was once an audio that was basically just running for three minutes with sirens in the background (the post has gone viral and people are beginning to wonder if the sirens are actually mermaid type sirens. It’s becoming more and more likely every time it’s addressed). The audio was a voice reveal. It was one word, and it just made everyone who heard it pause for a moment and sit in complete confusion and mild fear before scrolling further, because they live in the lie that perhaps if they go further, they’ll understand what’s going on. It was just, “Fire,” in the most astonished voice, and then the crackling of a flame. The blog never seems to end. After hours of scrolling, you finally reach the end, and there is and never has been context for a single thing the blog has done. You are slowly filled with dread and anticipation for the next post as you hit the follow button.  

#fire tw #siren tw #She ra #shera #she ra reboot #mermista #perfuma #frosta #adora #entrapta #glimmer #bow #catra #double trouble

[onisiondrama]

Crows Of Judgement Onision Interview Part 3

January 18, 2021

James says the doc will show tweets and write "actual tweet" under it, but show no proof of the original. James says the belly photos they showed of Kai were from his Instagram. He says there is a question of if they were even sent or if they were taken from Instagram. Someone says documentaries use deception.

James asks if they think it's weird it's been a year and the FBI and police never talked to him? The host says no because he thinks James knows exactly what the laws are where he lives. Host says the documentary doesn't establish anything close to criminal behavior and they admit the laws aren't caught up to the internet and James didn't do anything he could be prosecuted for. James asks if the laws were modern, what would he be prosecuted for?

James asks why do they call him a predator? He says it's life destroying when the Pierce County sheriff says he's a predator. Someone says the sheriff also said they were looking for real witnesses and victims. James says the sheriff called Sarah, Shiloh, all those people not real victims. (Their department didn't have contact with any of them when he said that.)

James says the contract they tried to get him to sign releases him of any way to sue them. He says they wanted him to sign so they could say whatever they want about him. Someone says Edwin had to sign a similar contract. James says that's cool if they got the same contract because that would mean it was less malicious.

The host asks how many women have accusations against James? James says 4 or 5 women accused him of being emotionally abusive. He says zero women accused him of beating them, sexual harassment, rape, sexual assault, an actual crime. James says they accused him because he kicked them out of his life. He asks them to name a single person who accused him who he didn't kick out of his life. The host asks if they could be mad at him for the way he treated them? James says he's mad at Billie for the way she treated him. The host asks again and James says anyone can be mad at someone for how they treated them if they want to perceive it a certain way.

James asks why did the majority of women accusing of him not go on the documentary? The host asks why didn't James go on the documentary? James says because they wanted him to sign away all his rights so he couldn't sue them. The host is talked over by James, but I think he's saying the women could have not gone on for the same reason.

James said the goal of the documentary was obvious, praising Chris Hansen and Steven Asarch. He says it was executive produced by Steven, who he doesn't trust. He says Steven argued with him about where he was during 9/11 and still keeps up a slanderous article about him. James asks why Edwin was on the documentary when he doesn't like Shiloh? He says Shiloh said she was going to kill herself in relation to him. Says Edwin thinks Shiloh is a liar and doesn't like Chris Hansen.

Someone asked if James has any regrets? He says when Sarah told them her mom beats they helped her out. He says she admitted they kept her away from drugs, hard situations at home, and illegal activity. She shits on them anyway. He says his biggest regret was not being able to see those people coming and avoid them.

James says he is in the process of seeking legal action against a certain person. He says it's hard because lawyers don't want bad Yelp reviews. The host says lawyers like money. James says he doesn't have a lot of money or income. He's trying to get a lawyer to be interested, but it's controversial.

Someone asks if James can see why people have a horrible opinion of him of Youtube. James says he had no idea what people were saying because he didn't watch 99% of hate videos. He would keep to himself in his Discord server. He says he doesn't think he's seen a full Repzion video. He says he was blown away when he saw the documentary. They were making him out to be Charles Manson, but they wouldn't even say what he did.

The host asks if it's correct that James filmed Shiloh having a seizure and uploaded it to Youtube. James says Shiloh told him to upload it. He said he was tired of her episodes so he recorded it to show her. He told her he could upload the video to help people who are going through that and he could go to sleep or he could stay up all night and make another video. She told him she wanted to go to sleep with him. He says when it went online and everyone was freaking out, he went "oh, that's interesting." Someone asks so the decision was should I stay up all night or do you want me to upload your seizure? James says "yes, that's how stupid the decision was." He says he was told Shiloh said in a video on Tumblr she was fucking with him, but it was conveniently taken down. (That didn't happen. There was no tumblr video and she never said that.) He says the video her ex boyfriend made about her trying to put him in jail is also conveniently taken down. She was threatening to put a knife in someone's text. He says if you only watch anti-Onision videos, he looks like the most insane mother fucker on Earth.

James says at the end of the seizure video, they were laughing together and fucking around in the kitchen. The host asks about how it would help people, if he provided a link? James says throughout the video there was text on the screen describing what was going on. James says there was a part of the video where Shiloh points out a family member and says they're not dead. He says if she lost her memory, how did she remember they died? She says her mom looked old, but how did she age that much in three years? (He explained in the actual video that her mom lost a lot of weight, so she looked a lot older.) He says that's what makes him believe the tumblr video. He says her ex talked about the fake seizures too. The host says he just skimmed through the video and he doesn't see where James told people where to go for support. James says he didn't tell people go for support, he said there was a narrative. The host facepalms. James laughs and asks "what's up?" The host says he doesn't know how James thought that was appropriate. James says he was used to abnormal behavior in that relationship. He called the cops on her 3 times. She would go full mental breakdown when he would breakup with her. He says she threatened to kill herself and make it look like he did it.

The host asks why did James bring her back? James says because she told him she was pregnant. (That's total bullshit. He knew 100% she was lying and called her out multiple times online for lying.) He says she called him before getting on the plane and told him she wasn't pregnant.

Someone asks about the miscarriage. James says there's a few alleged miscarriages. (There was 1 fake one, 1 real one. He knows it was real. He was there at her appointments.) He talks about how she uploaded a picture of someone else's premature baby and wrote "in loving memory of Rogue." (that was the fake one) He says she miscarried at 6 weeks and found out at 12 - 13 weeks. He says it was the size of a peanut on the ultrasound. He said it was a shitty ultrasound because it was a mom and pop doula and a tiny place. They said she needed to remove it, but she didn't have health insurance. She had Canadian health insurance so they sent her back to take care of it the financially responsible way. He said she later shamed him for that and he sarcastically says he's so sorry he's financially responsible. He sent her back for that then she posted the Rogue photo. (That's not true. The Rogue photo happened way before their real miscarriage.) He says it's a mature fetus in the photo, so she was misleading. He said when she faked the pregnancy, she took a photo with her stomach pushed out and faked a doctor's note. He says KatSketch from Shane Dawson's channel has a specialty with pregnant people as far as her schooling. She said Shiloh was pushing her gut out and he celebrated with Cyr that she wasn't pregnant because he didn't want to be with a "psycho" (he literally says "quote, unquote") again. He says days pass and he got lonely and convinced himself to take her back.

The host says he doesn't understand that. James says he was an idiot and his comment section was filled with people telling him not to be with her. He would make videos about how in love they were, pissing off his audience. James says even people in serious abusive relationship where they could die take their partners back.

[kingofterrors]

I was tagged in this ask by @inktog - thank you!

I’m not great at tagging other folk, but if you see this and you fancy doing it, consider yourself tagged! Also, by the way, if anyone seeing this really likes being tagged in these kind of things, let me know! I will tag you in future!

This was hard. At first I was like, “I’m not sure I can even name ten relationships I ship”, and then had far too many as soon as I thought about it for more than ten seconds. So here we are. :)

First, list your top 10 ships without reading the questions below.

1.      Luz Noceda / Amity Blight – The Owl House

2.      Harrowhark Nonagesimus / Gideon Nav – The Locked Tomb Series

3.      Sabran / Eadaz du Zāla uq-Nāra – The Priory of the Orange Tree

4.      Caleb Widogast / Essek Theyless – Critical Role Campaign 2

5.      Beauregard Lionett / Jester Lavorre – Critical Role Campaign 2

6.      Harrowhark Nonagesimus / Ianthe Tridentarius – The Locked Tomb Series

7.      Kara Danvers / Lena Luthor – Supergirl

8.      Amity Blight / Boscha – The Owl House

9.      Korra / Asami – The Legend of Korra

10.  Percy / Vexahlia – Critical Role Campaign 1

Then answer the questions.

Do you remember the episode/scene/chapter that you first started shipping 6?

I’m going to be honest, it was from the very beginning of Harrow the Ninth – the Prologue, where we get that amazing moment of Ianthe kneeling down and taking Harrow by the chin. I’m going to quote, because this scene just marched up to my house, kicked my door down and stole my entire mind.

You were shocked into opening your eyes when you felt the girl opposite cup your chin in her hands – her fingers febrile compared to the chilly shock of her gilded metacarpal – and put her meat thumb at the corner of your jaw. For a moment you assumed that you were hallucinating, but that assumption was startled away by the cool nearness of her, of Ianthe Tridentarius on her knees before you in unmistakable supplication. Her pallid hair fell around her face like a veil, and her stolen eyes looked at you with half-beseeching, half-contemptuous despair: blue eyes with deep splotches of light brown, like agate.

Looking deep into the eyes of the cavalier she murdered, you realised, not for the first time, and not willingly, that Ianthe Tridenatrius was beautiful.

Dude.

Have you ever read a fic about 2?

Yup! More than one! I don’t generally seek out smut for my ships, for whatever reason, but I freely admit that I sought out smut for these two. And found it. Found it with quality in spades. Praise be. Is this a good spot for recs? If so:

Sleepless by pugoata

Like a Lullaby by SweetScentences

Has a picture of 4 ever been your screensaver/profile pic/tumblr?

Nope. I tend not to change my pics very much, and they tend to focus on single characters rather than ships, again for whatever reason.

If 7 were to suddenly break up today, what would your reaction be?

Yeah… Well of course they’re not together in canon. I ship supercorp foolishly, helplessly, knowing all the while that the chances of it becoming reality are vanishingly small. That said, we don’t ship purely for canon, do we? So if Kara and Lena were together and then were to break up I’d be disappointed, but I suspect they’d find their way back to each other. These two have a history of being separated, then rediscovering their love and coming back together. I give it a couple of weeks. :)

Why is 1 so important?

Man, I don’t know! It snuck up on me! I think there’s something here about firstly, the context for Lumity. Amity’s crush on Luz was just presented as normal, as something fine and good and natural, and that meant so much to me. There’s a softness here that I love so much. I also heavily empathise with Amity – the trying to live up to expectations and feeling that you have to hide yourself behind emotional walls – and the thought of her finding love with someone like Luz who is so open and emotionally giving does my heart good. I want Amity to find acceptance and openness with Luz. I want Luz to find herself seen and valued for exactly who she is by Amity. I want to see them finding strength and security in each other. I just love them, you guys.

There’s a bit in this wonderful YouTube video essay, which I recommend to the moon and back – watch it if you haven’t! (“The Owl House is Great and Here’s Why, by Film Freak”) Where the essayist concludes their section on Lumity by saying: “I don’t know if Disney will chicken out in the future with regards to Lumity or any other queer rep, but for now I’m cautiously optimistic. Maybe I just have rose-tinted goggles for how soft this ship is, but whatever, let me stan just once.”

And… yeah. That.

Which one has the strongest bond?

Wow, tough one. Probably Sabran and Ead. They’ve gone through everything together, and are prepared to wait for each other in the end. Their bond is strong enough to take that and more.

Which ship has lasted the longest?

For me or the ship itself? For me of all of these probably Korra / Asami. Shipped ‘em first time I saw LoK, and haven’t stopped.

How many times, if ever, has 6 broken up?

Have they ever gotten together? If they ever did get together they’d break up every couple of days. These two are a mess, and their relationship is a toxic trainwreck. Still ship ‘em though. Can’t help it. Sometimes ships are just fascinating. If this was real life I’d want them to not come within shouting distance of each other. In fiction I’m riveted.

If the world was suddenly thrust into a zombie apocalypse, which ship would make it out alive: 2 or 8?

Definitely Harrow and Gideon. Those two have fought through apocalyptic situations before, and my money would be on them to do it again. Plus they are the quintessential battle couple. Can you imagine Harrow’s bone magic and Gideon’s martial expertise being unleashed on zombies? Those two would save the whole damn world.

Amity and Boscha would put up a good fight, I think, but I can see them disagreeing on key decisions which might hurt their chances.

Did 7 ever have to hide their relationship for any reason?

Given that Kara is a whole secret identity, we could say they are continually hiding their relationship when Kara is out there as Supergirl? I could also see them hiding their relationship at Lena’s insistence to protect Kara from Lex before she realised Kara was actually Supergirl. She might even want to do that afterwards as well, on reflection. Lena is very protective of Kara, ironically enough. :)

Is 4 still together?

Right now? This is another non-canon ship. That said, this is one I’m genuinely hoping for a canon appearance from. Their relationship might be put under strain from the fact that they’re both mages, and mages tend to get selfish and power hungry (or at least these two claim that’s how it goes). I think they’d work through it though. These two talk big about their own selfishness a lot, and then in practice are very caring and protective of others. I can see that extending to each other. Just kiss already.

Is 10 canon?

Yup! My token het ship are still very much together, growing old and having babies.Good for them. :)

If all 10 ships were put into a couple’s Hunger Games, which couple would win?

This is an invitation to go into huge depth, but my initial feeling is that Harrow and Gideon would again have it hands down. Those two are world-endingly powerful. Although that said, Kara and Lena might give them a run for their money. Pure power ranking? Let’s see…

1.      Harrow / Gideon

2.      Kara / Lena

3.      Korra / Asami

4.      Beau / Jester

5.      Caleb / Essek

6.      Percy / Vex

7.      Harrow / Ianthe

8.      Sabran / Ead

9.      Amity / Luz (no shade, but these guys are literal children. Grown up they’d put up a better showing, I’d bet)

10.  Amity / Boscha

Has anyone ever tried to sabotage 5?

I mean… Fjord? I wonder sometimes what would have happened if Beau had genuinely put in a play for Jester, rather than stepping back to let Fjord make his move. She very obviously decided that Fjord should have a free shot, and I wonder how it would have worked if she actually decided to compete. Would Fjord have stepped back to let Beau make a try for Jester if he was aware of her feelings? I don’t know. A genuine competition would have been heartbreaking but oh so interesting to see.

Do you spend hours a day going through 3’s tumblr tag?

Not hours, but I have put some good time into finding fanart for these two. There is some good work out there!

If an evil witch descended from the sky and told you that you had to pick one of the ten ships to break up forever or else she’d break them all up, which ship would you SINK?

Amity / Boscha. Sorry you two! I wrote myself into shipping Amity and Boscha, when I fell in love with Boscha and decided she could actually be good for Amity in a snarky, take no shit kind of a way. I would still love to see more of them. (Halfway through that one-shot btw.) But if it was them or everyone else? Sorry guys. :(

#ask games #shipping asks #this was fun! #thanks for tagging me! #long post

[wall-maria-fritz]

The Wingman (Erwin Smith x Marie)

Chapter 3: The Library

Reposting this because I am officially overhauling my @levi-lives blog, in lieu of this one because SOMEONE Tumblr won't let my posts show up from there anymore! grrrr.

@levi-lives blog is still up tho, if you would like still see my original posts

The Wingman: MASTERLIST

Summary: Before Erwin Smith and Nile Dawk became respected commanders of the Scouting Legion and the Military Police, they were good friends during their cadet days at the 92nd Cadet Corps. They, along with Mike Zacharias, were young, full of vigor, on the rise to greatness, and had a taste for women and booze.

And they all planned to join the coveted ranks of the Military Police.

But when Nile asked Erwin to write his love letters for a woman named Marie, Erwin starts thinking that maybe even a man like him could dream of falling in love.

Nile once scoffed at Erwin at how he could trade Marie for a life of Titans and death. And this is why.

A/N: I wrote this while listening to Tout ou rien by Marie-Flore! You can go ahead and search for its English translation you guys, it’s such a lovely song!

Chapter 3: The Library

Marie couldn’t breathe.

She couldn’t understand how her heart was both thundering and constricting in her chest as she walked away from the dark haired man.

It wasn’t that Marie wanted to be harsh, but she simply wasn’t in the right disposition to be dealing with unwanted flirtations right now.

Not when all she could think about was what in the world would Erwin Smith of all people, be doing in a bar she happened to be working at?!’

She hasn’t seen those blue eyes for the better part of three years, and honestly, Marie has managed to forget about them. Those blue eyes once haunted her as a freshman, while in the middle of burning the midnight oil.

The embodiment of everything she didn’t have, perhaps couldn’t have, but wanted.

And now seeing them again. And here of all places! It had Marie reeling for the back of the bar.

She needed to compose herself.

The cool water Marie drank was a welcome and soothing sensation. She took a moment to calm down, and reassured herself that this was just a one time thing. Erwin Smith, for all his misperceived squareness, has always enjoyed the company of women. The man was probably just bar hopping and ultimately found what he’s been looking for— Elena.

After tonight, he’d be gone to look for other bars, to look for other girls. Perhaps even go back to Wall Rose where he belongs. And Erwin would forget he ever saw her waiting around some dingy, low-lit bar in Wall Maria.

Marie sighed.

But the fact remains that disappointment twinged at her heart. Once again berating herself for being so easily swept away, Marie tightens her apron and to get back to work. Ignoring the way those deep blue eyes suddenly transported Marie back to an old campus library at the College of Wall Rose.

-Three Years Ago, College of Wall Rose Library-

Marie had just started her first week of Advanced Philosophy and she knew that the class wouldn’t be easy, despite her having qualified for it. So now here she was, scouring the shelves for a few old textbooks which she thought might help her weather through.

If there was anything she loved most about her new college, it certainly was it’s rich library, with it’s vast collection of tomes, as well as it’s soothing old book smell.

“Professor Holmes’ class?”

Marie jumped at the sudden interruption of a deep baritone amidst the quiet. She looked up to find the most mesmerizing blue eyes she’s ever seen, staring down at her.

Almost… assessing her.

Erwin Smith gestures at the handful of books she had stacked up in her arms. “I noticed you’re trying to read up on Grecian Philosophy.”

Marie blushed when she realized that she must have been staring at the man for far too long.

“O-oh, yeah!” Marie gave a small laugh to shake off the nerves. “I wanted to make sure that I wouldn’t be left behind despite being technically ‘qualified’ for the class.” Erwin gave an amused smile when Marie put up two quirky little air quotes.

“So it’s true.” Erwin says, tilting his head, the light glinting against his deep blue eyes. “You are one smart cookie.”

Erwin was half expecting the usual flustered response once a girl realizes that he’s taken interest in her. But something in Marie’s hazel eyes sparked.

“I’m one exceptionally smart cookie, so watch out, sir.”

Erwin raised a thick eyebrow, his handsomely chiseled face breaking into an impressed smile. This girl’s certainly got his interest piqued now.

“I have no doubt about that, miss…?”

Now it was Marie’s turn to raise a sculpted eyebrow at him, shifting the weight of her books to rest on one hip. Posture held high, she held a slender hand out.

“Marie. Marie Bonnard.”

The blond man took her hand in his large calloused one, noting how soft it felt in his firm grip. Marie felt her cheeks bloom hotly at the contact.

“Erwin. Erwin Smith.”

Oh but Marie knew exactly who he was. There wasn’t a single girl on campus who didn’t know who Erwin Smith was— highly intelligent, easily commanded respect, and devilishly handsome. And as much as Marie hated to be another one of the many girls who fawned over this magnetic force of a man, she had to admit that even she is having trouble resisting his charms.

“Nice to meet you, Erwin.” Marie wanted to kick herself with how utterly soft that sounded.

Erwin smirked, “Likewise, Marie.”

Their hands lingered in each other’s hold for far longer than they should have.

“Where are my manners, let me get those for you.” Erwin’s smooth baritone breaks the spell and easily moves to get the heavy books off of Marie’s arms, when suddenly Marie gets a whiff of Erwin’s scent.

Sandalwood, aftershave and…

Erwin.

It nearly made her head spin. If it weren’t for the man motioning to a thick volume three shelves above her head, the poor girl probably would have been in a daze already.

“You won’t need these. Holmes likes to use a single resource for his lectures. Makes things easier for us and for him.”

Erwin turned to deposit the hefty books down a book bin for re-shelving. When he faced back to the ginger girl, Erwin was treated to the adorable sight of Marie up on her tiptoes, trying to reach the thick volume he just pointed at earlier.

He pursed his lips at the way her lithe body stretched and displayed her curves.

Marie heard a deep chuckle before a large hand reached from behind her to grab the book. She swiveled around, her red curls swaying along with her movement, and was met by the hulking form of Erwin Smith— so much nearer now— bent over her.

Deep blue eyes boring into her.

Drowning her.

Marie was once again engulfed by the scent of Sandalwood, aftershave and…

“Erwin!”

The pair looked to the voice, and found a woman with a distinctly annoyed look in her eyes. Well, the look was mostly directed at Marie, who was still pressed up against a shelf beneath Erwin’s large body.

“Let’s go, Babe!”

Her outburst was followed by a few distinct shushes which just agitated her more.

The woman was a bombshell. With luscious dark hair, and an even more luscious body. Marie recognized her as one of the sorority girls her dorm mate hung out with.

Erwin straightens up, and turns to the dark haired woman, and gracefully holds a finger to his lips. The action let Marie appreciate a fine view of his chiseled jawline.

The woman just pouted.

Erwin faces back to Marie, his handsome face returning to it’s usual polite smile. All the intensity in his blue eyes from moments ago have melted away.

“Well that’s my cue. Here.”

Their hands brush once more as Erwin hands Marie the book he held. Marie glanced down at the book.

“Thank you, Erwin.”

Erwin decides right then that he quite liked hearing his name on her lips.

“I’ll see you in class, Marie.”

And Marie watches him walk away.

——————————

Marie knew she should walk away.

But she was frozen.

She had managed to keep her composure as she actively avoided Erwin and Nile’s table, with the former’s calculating gaze and the latter’s lingering glances.

She threw herself so much into the night’s work, that she didn’t realize that the men had left. Marie never saw where they went off to, but she now certainly knew where Erwin would be staying for the night.

Marie was fixing up for the night when she found Erwin Smith pressing a very wanton Elena up against a wall.

Erwin’s large bulk had every intention of smothering the petite woman, as he languidly pushed his narrow hips against hers. One large hand had a firm grip on her ass, the other in the disheveled mess of her midnight hair. Elena was helpless as the blonde man’s lips throughly ravished her ruby red ones.

Marie gasped at the sight, dropping her dishrag.

Elena lightly pushed at Erwin’s chest when she realized they had company. The pair looks at her, still frozen on the spot.

Erwin’s pupils were blown wide in lust, but his gaze was cool and unforthcoming.

“Marie,” Elena purred breathlessly, delighted at the shocked look on the ginger’s face. She sensually trailed her hands up Erwin’s muscular arms, until they rested upon the thick column of his neck. “Please book a room for Mr. Smith and I upstairs.”

Marie swallowed a lump she didn’t know formed in her throat.

“I’ll log it down.”

Marie finally turned to walk away. Her heart pounding in her chest.

Angry. That’s what this feeling was.

She furiously swiped away a stray tear, reminding herself.

Erwin always loved brunettes.

Author’s Note:

Thank you so much for reading! All your feedback is very much appreciated, and honestly motivates me to write more for y’all! Chapter 4 is already halfway done so hopefully the next chapter won’t be such a long wait!

And yeah, I did used to have a Professor with the last name Holmes before, but he taught us Research! He was hot tbh asdfghjsk

As always, please do stay safe and healthy and WASH YOUR HANDS!

#erwin smith #erwin smith x marie #erwin smith x marie dok #marie dok #marie #nile dok #nile dawk #nile dawk x marie dawk #nile dok x marie dok #mike Zacharias #the wingman #the wingman chapter 3 #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #commander erwin smith #erwin smith x marie x nile dawk #erwin smith x reader #erwin smith x oc #erwin smith x you #erwin smith x y/n