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the-silentium · 4 years

Text

It hurts

Masterlist

Pairing: Five Hargreeves x Reader

Words: 3338 words

Warnings: ANGST, murder, blood, swearing, mention of desire to die.

Requested by: Anon

I loved your song fic “Folded messages” so much, and I saw u said we could send. I decided to give it a shot :”) obviously don’t feel obligated to do it, I’ll respect if u don’t want to ☺️☺️ I am sucker for old songs, and I think they fit so well with 5. I was wondering if a 5 fic with the song “Can’t take my eyes off of you” would be possible. I don’t rly have a plot in mind, maybe when Five meets reader in commission, or just somewhere between S1 or S2. I apologize if this is too general :”)

A/N: I know the song was out in 1967 and that it wasn’t out when the fic take place, but let’s forget about that detail, okay? Okay. Dear anon, I’m sure you wanted fluff, but I don’t know, I can’t really explain myself. It just happened.

As the ultimate warm breath of your latest victim escaped her mouth, the pain flashing through your entire body intensified until you found yourself falling on your knees. Every nerve in your body was ablaze, the feeling of your insides burning and melting away was excruciating, breaking the remnants of your already shattered mind. Millenniums passed and you never got used to the pain. This pain that you couldn't fight or attenuate. This pain that, with each passing century, fed on your sanity and created the monster that you were now. This pain that clearly wanted you to die, but something else within every cell of your being was fighting fiercely against it. Making you live. Live in pain. It hurts.

The once warm body of the young lady was now cold, the room now bathed in moonlight instead of sun rays. Getting up, you barely noticed how your clothes stuck to your body, enormous patches of dried blood keeping them glued to your skin. You staggered on your feet as the world shifted and your vision filled with dark fireflies. You took a deep breath and made your way up the stairs where you knew you could find a change of clothes. As you reached the stairs, your eyes caught movement out of the kitchen window.

Two tall white-haired men forced the lock of the store next door. Their expressions weren't visible in the darkness of the alley, but the dim light of a nearby lamppost reflected on the guns badly hidden under their coats.

A new wave of blood lust drowned your senses, replacing your hurting thoughts with angry ones. Rushing out of the apartment, you made your way to the slightly open door, thinking how unfair it was that everyone around you could die with something as simple as a bullet or a stab wound, yet you couldn't. It hurts.

You were pulled out of your thoughts by a large form blocking your view. Steely-blue eyes glared at you, the knife in his hand shining under the neons above, ready to pierce your heart in one swift movement if you were to make a move towards them. You weren’t intimidating in any way, your petite form along with your soft features wasn’t why the giant was alert.

Not only was your entire front almost covered in blood, but the atmosphere around you was definitely the most dangerous he ever encountered. The hair on his neck and arms raised as soon as your gaze found his. Once before had he felt like that, the faithful evening he and his brothers were doing check-ups on their traps set into the woods in hope of having a nice dinner the day after. Otto remembered the fear he felt when they were met with a lone-wolf missing a back leg, said leg still stuck into the fangs of their trap. A tingling sensation around the scar of his eye disturbed the Swede, the vivid memory of his flesh being slashed open flashing before his eyes. He remembers the desperation and insanity glazing the yellow eyes of the wolf, the same desperation and insanity that were dancing in your own (e/c) ones. What was terrifying him was the intelligence hidden under the surface. You were a predator in disguise-

Screams resonated through the room as Axel started to torture the ally of their brother’s murderer, surely thinking that Otto had the matter under control. Your head turned back on the bloody scene unfolding before you, allowing Otto to fill his lungs with air, the first time in almost a minute. Otto stiffened as you moved, relaxing a little when you made your way to the other side of the room to sit on a sofa.

“I won’t steal your prey.” Your eyes were fixed on the man being tortured, the blood oozing from his nose and mouth. How the pain caused his muscles to constrict- “I just want to watch.”

And watch you did. The giant’s attention was on you, but you couldn’t care less. You enjoyed every moment of the blue-coated man’s torture session, liking his style. You let them drench their washcloths with the dead man’s blood before making your way to the body. Out of habit, you reached for its neck, searching delicately for a pulse, even faint. Your nostrils flared when you found none, once again facing the injustice of your curse. His pain was gone while yours was still there. His torturer let him go while yours, whoever it was, kept you suffering day after day, year after year, and so on for… You didn’t remember for how long. You’ve been alive for so long that you didn’t remember why or when you were cursed. Wasn’t it unfair? Being cursed for a reason you didn’t even remember? It hurts.

The barrel of a gun refreshed the burning skin of your temple for a moment, making you close your eyes in delight. The feeling was very short-lived, though, the fire intensifying to cover the pleasant sensation. You reopened your eyes to meet the two white-haired men, the tallest pointing you with his gun from a good distance, while the blue-coated one was close enough to touch your head with his weapon. You turned slowly towards them, the gun now pressing onto your forehead.

“No witness.” His accent reminded you of your time in Scandinavian lands. You could see his eyes analyzing your blood coated features, trying to understand how a beautiful young woman like you in her early twenties could appear as such a dreadful sight. You saw it for a split second, the hardening of his gaze, milliseconds before his mind decided that it was enough and his finger pulled the trigger.

As the bullet entered the front of your skull, you wondered if your gaze hardened too just before you gave the final blows to your prey. Do they know when all hope is to be abandoned?

You didn’t fall to the floor as the Swedish men expected. Nor did blood escaped the bullet wound into your head. Instead of blood, a blackish liquid escaped the hole into your forehead, tainting your red-coated skin with a viscous dark trail. It hurts.

“Too bad then. No one gets what they want.” You simply stated as if this was the most evident thing in the world.

Out of respect for their handy work on the shop clerk, you tilted your head slightly in their direction as the wound into your head started to close slowly, your curse stubbornly keeping you alive and well, before walking away to explore the rest of the shop. You ignored how their footsteps were hurried or how they called you a demon in their native tongue, focusing instead on the files scattered under a coffee table. You didn’t know why you crouched to get them, but you did and you read them. Every page.

By the time you were done, you were seated at the edge of the sofa once again. A tall blonde guy and a dark-haired one entered the room, too scandalized about the dead body of their friend and the markings on the floor below to notice you reading one of the tv brochures you found lying around. When they did though, your reading material was snatched from your hands, and a knife threatened the skin of your throat.

You had hoped that the metal would be as satisfying as the barrel of the gun was, but you had no such luck. You huffed in disappointment before dropping your hands to your knees. It hurts.

“Who are you?” The dark-haired man pressed you, the sharp side of the knife digging slightly into your skin.

You glared at him from your position, not impressed one bit.

“If I tell you I’ll have to kill you.” You replied cockily. You could have fun before opening his throat with his own knife.

You expected the knife to cut your skin, definitely not for blondie to pull his buddy away and reach for you with his big hand. You gnashed as the hand approached you, both in anger and anticipation. Just as he was about to grab your neck, a blue flash enveloped him, and he reappeared in another flash, at the opposite side of the room. Behind the tall blonde, a younger boy with wide blue eyes watched, surprised.

He returned to his senses when knife guy made a move towards you. It hurts.

“Don’t touch her Diego!” He hurriedly yelled, teleporting before Diego and pushing on his chest to keep him away.

“Move, Five! She killed Elliott!” He tried to push the boy but ended like the blond on the other side of the room.

You got up, unsure of what was happening. Never in your endless life had you encountered someone who could teleport around.

“No, she didn’t! Didn’t you idiots see the ‘öga för öga’ down there? It’s Swedish for an eye for an eye. The Swedes killed Elliot.” He pointed at you, still facing the men. “She was a witness. She got shot in the head.”

You frowned, intrigued that the boy seemed to know you got shot despite the absence of a hole in your head. Sure, the dark trail was still there, running from your forehead to the bottom of your chin, but there was no way he could have known that this was actually your very own cursed rotten blood.

“How do you know?” Your voice shot into the room, quieting the heated argument between the three males.

“Because I know you, Y/N.” You paused, hearing your name for the first time in centuries. He stopped, thinking his words through. “In the future, we are friends.”

You frowned, debating the veracity of his words. In the future? He indeed looked from another time, in his weird clothing, but also because this time would have made a scandal about his powers. You had a hard time believing that you could have a friend. You huffed, shooking your head.

“Impossible. How do you know my name?”

The boy shot a glare to the men before turning toward you.

“You told me, because like I said, we are friends.” He walked in your direction, stopping a meter away. “I know that you are cursed.” You perked up at that, caught off guard. “I know that you react very violently to anyone touching you because your skin burns even more than it already does.” He chuckled slightly, his gaze holding yours with something that shook you to your very core, softness. “I experienced it first hand. You broke my arm and would have choked me to death if I hadn’t jumped.”

The softness in his eyes morphed into something else, something you weren’t used to. You never experienced it yourself, but you certainly witnessed it. Affection. It almost scared you off, the muscles in your legs wanting nothing more than to be of use and take you far away, away from his caring blue gaze.

What kept you there was the blood on his face and shirt. Could he be like you?

“Shit. We’ll talk more later. We have more important to do.” He turned to his brothers, a new urgency in his tone and movements. “I found a way to get back to our timeline.” He walked to a nearby room and you tuned them out, instead focusing on yourself.

Could you trust him? He obviously knew you and you once were -or will be- trusting him enough to tell him about yourself. You never opened up to anyone before, your anger was way too great in your younger years. Now that you thought about it, you couldn’t even remember the total of number of people who died from your hands. It hurts.

“What about doomsday?” Your head turned to the dark-haired guy, interested in his words.

“Won’t happen.”

“And the 2019 apocalypse?”

“Everything will be back to normal.”

What apocalypse? You watched them fuss around, totally confused. The boy stopped before you, presenting you his arm. No, it hurts.

“I know fabric hurt less than skin to skin contact.” Your confusion was clearly written onto your face, forcing him to explain. “I’m taking you with me.”

You almost asked him why, but decided against it, a plan already forming into your brain. You grabbed his sleeve softly and in a second you were in the passenger seat of a car. The engine roared to life when the boy-

“What’s your name?”

He turned to you, surprised for a second before genuinely smiling and turning back to the road.

“Five.”

“How old are you really?” He smirked.

“I knew you’d catch up quickly.” His eyes shifted from the road to you, lingering on your face like he was replaying some memories to himself. “58.”

You hummed and turned to the window. You watched the buildings disappear, letting the trees stand high to the sky. The countryside road was a bit bumpy but you didn’t mind. You rolled down the window, letting the wind appease the fire under your skin for a little while.

You had to admit that the silence between the two of you was pleasant. Maybe you really were friends.

“So an apocalypse is coming, eh?” You sit your back to the door, facing Five. You pulled your legs to your chest, your arms hugging them to keep them close so your chin could rest on your knees. You didn’t care that the dress you wore wasn’t covering the back of your tights, but it seemed that this detail was bothering him, his cheeks reddening quickly.

“Y-yes.” He turned back straight ahead and coughed to hide his embarrassment. “Our presence here created an apocalypse that will happen in a couple of days. Don’t worry though, I’ll stop it.”

You chuckled when you noticed him peaking back in your direction, his eyes clearly not focussing on your face this time. His blush spread from his cheeks to his neck and for the very last time, he turned his eyes ahead and kept them there.

You reached a farm where two women were talking outside, without a care in the world. You waited for Five into the car, patiently planning into your head. Fortunately, Five didn’t think that this would take too long, so he let the car running, allowing you to turn up the radio volume slightly.

Five came back and you were humming to a song, ignoring the fact that he was beyond pissed that one of the women didn’t follow him as he wanted. He drove the car back to the road, fuming but keeping it all inside, not wanting to cause you to stop humming to the songs.

You're just too good to be true

Can't take my eyes off of you

You'd be like Heaven to touch

I wanna hold you so much

At long last, love has arrived

And I thank God I'm alive

You're just too good to be true

Can't take my eyes off of you

Now was the time. You lived your whole life, wanting this. To die, to find peace, to stop suffering. Five was the key. In fact, he was an obstacle. You couldn’t let him stop the apocalypse. You wanted to die and the apocalypse would grant your wish. There was no way your curse could protect you from that. It hurts.

Pardon the way that I stare

There's nothin' else to compare

The sight of you leaves me weak

There are no words left to speak

But if you feel like I feel

Please let me know that it's real

You're just too good to be true

Can't take my eyes off of you

You stopped humming, finally noticing that Five had stopped at the side of the road and was watching you intently, a smile at the corner of his lips. You opened your mouth to ask him what was wrong, frowning, until he cut you off.

“I know you don’t remember it because it didn’t yet happen for you, but there was a time when you stopped calling for death and enjoyed living.”

You froze at his words, wondering if he could read thoughts too. It hurts so much.

“You’re lying.” You couldn’t imagine anything worth enduring your suffering so why would he tell you that? To save his skin?

I love you, baby

And if it's quite alright

I need you, baby

To warm the lonely night

I love you, baby

Trust in me when I say

Oh, pretty baby

Don't bring me down, I pray

Oh, pretty baby

Now that I've found you, stay

And let me love you, baby

Let me love you

“I’m not. This song was playing on an old iPod when you told me.” You lifted an eyebrow at him, slowly positioning your legs to jump forward to kill him. “If you really think that the apocalypse will kill you, you are wrong. You survived and you met me there. That’s where we became friends.”

“Prove it.” Your heart was beating erratically, desperately wanting his words to be wrong. You wanted to be free. This life hurts. IT HURTS.

You're just too good to be true

Can't take my eyes off of you

You'd be like Heaven to touch

I wanna hold you so much

At long last, love has arrived

And I thank God I'm alive

You're just too good to be true

Can't take my eyes off you

Five reached into his pants pocket, taking out a colored photo. The quality wasn’t god, but you could see yourself, curled up against a dark-haired man on a loveseat, holding his free hand while kissing his cheek. His smile reminded you of Five’s.

Your eyes were fixed on your lips touching his face. How you seemed so unbothered by the fire eating at your nerves. This couldn’t be possible. Even the idea of doing it caused your own pain to accentuate. Ithurtsithurtsithurts-

“I found a disposable camera and used up the film. I kept it and when I came back in 2019 I had it developed.”

I love you, baby

And if it's quite alright

I need you, baby

To warm the lonely night

I love you, baby

Trust in me when I say

Oh, pretty baby

Don't bring me down, I pray

Oh, pretty baby

Now that I've found you, stay

Oh, pretty baby

Trust in me when I say

Oh, pretty baby

The news hit you hard. Your body was shaking uncontrollably, tears ran down your cheeks, sobs escaped your mouth. It has been a while since you’d had your last breakdown although any one of them could compare to this one. At least, before you had hope that something, somewhere you finally end you. Your hopes were now crushed. It. Hurts.

The pain in your shoulder exploded, earning a cry from your lips. Out of reflex, your fist shot straight ahead, colliding with his shoulder and successfully breaking the contact between the both of you. Quickly, you turned around and shot the door open in a haste, almost running away from him. You wanted to die. You wanted to die. You needed to- A flash of blue followed by Five’s appearance before you stopped you in your tracks abruptly, causing you to fall on your knees for the second time this day.

Your desperation morphed into pain and your pain into anger. How dare he ruin your life? How dare he crush your hopes? If you could choose, you would have preferred to still have your hopes, at least they kept you going. What were you supposed to do now without anything to live for? Please help me. It hurts.

“I’ll help you.” His voice was soft, as he was approaching a wounded animal. Well, maybe you were.

You were a wolf whose leg was trapped in a hunter’s trap. You would do anything to free yourself. You were desperate, you were insane, you were intelligent.

And you were forgetful.

It wouldn’t hurt to kill him. In due time, you would forget him. Like you forgot everything else until you became what you were now. Humanity’s wrath.

Please, it hurts.

#five hargreeves x reader #number five x reader #five hargreeves imagine #number five imagine #The Umbrella Academy #tua s2 #psychosis #murder #the swedes #it hurts got it?

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bluemoonpunch · 4 years

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What's going on with JK that it just seems that the universe is against him. Like the media making a big deal about minor things like his car accident that he caused, but it was really minor. But the media is still talking about it, and the whole dating thing. It's like he's the one being scandalized for really small things. Any insights you can offer to this?

Anonymous: hi there! i was wondering if you could do a reading on jk. more specifically, it seems he is finally doing the things he likes, the things he WANTS, all w/the long hair and “tattoos” and piercings. is he happy? i know that a lot of rly judgemental ppl dont want to do these things and go as far as to call him mean things but how does he feel personally abt all this? is he slowly letting us see more into his reality? his true self?

Anonymous: Hi, could you please do a reading on Jungkook? Recently he changed not just physically but mentally and it’s hard to understand him because he’s a closed book and seem like a whole different person. Maybe he went through some difficult times during break or he said to himself i don’t care anymore i’m gonna do the real me. I just really care about him and hope he’s okay now. Thank you in advance!

Anonymous: I’m really happy to see Jungkook expressing himself in this new way. I was wondering if this is something he is intentionally doing to //individualize// himself? I know you’ve mentioned he’s struggled w trying to show his mature side, so I hope he isn’t too affected by the rumors and drama going on and doesn’t feel pressure to conform to ppl’s “concept"of him.

000

This has to do with the shift in maturity and mindset brought on by the integration process and the process of separation. I’ve talked about it a million times. Just look at any of his readings, including his relationship readings that I’ve done and you’ll find a bunch of stuff about it. Bla bla bla.

So, this made me really, really happy because, in terms of how these processes manifest consciously or superficially, Kook has really interested me because he would be such a drastic shift, or at least it would be very noticeable, and it was. I’m really happy that all of that came to a peak while he was on vacation and when he really had time and freedom to actually, very intentionally, let go of some of those restrictions and guidelines that he holds himself to, or that others hold him to, in order to explore himself a little more. It really opened a lot of things up for him mentally, I’m sure.

The first set out was the King of Pentacles and the Knight of Swords, which definitely shows this very independent and driven energy towards personal fulfillment, which is what I’ve been talking about with all of them in terms of what would happen when they were separated on a soul level. The focus is put on personal soul fulfillment and that becomes the main driving force.

There’s actually a lot of focus here on mentality, perspective, thought process, things like that with the Knight of Swords and the Page of Swords being present as these points of a fresh outlook and perspective. The reversed Hierophant there is literally an intentional separation from and resistance to any kind of “traditional” expectation or ruling placed over him by outside forces, which mostly has to do with the general public and the audience. He’s learning to think for himself and in turn, act for himself, do things that make him happy without being concerned about what a bunch of strangers will think.

This is where The Magician comes in. With that independent thought process separate from the external rule and directed towards the fulfillment of the King of Pentacles, he can better direct and formulate manifestations not just physically but energetically or etherically. Basically, he’s getting in touch with his soul more, and in that time where he was left to kind of do as he pleased with himself, a lot of blocks or blinders were knocked off and he’s able to see where certain things or mindsets are holding him back — this actually plays into the reading I just did for all seven of them where Kook’s current conscious state of outlook was reflected in the 8 of Swords where he is able to see different blocks within himself and he’s trying to pull them out. You can read that here.

Obviously, this process is not complete, it’s not a switch that can be flipped and suddenly he’s different, so don’t consider anything permanent or unmoving. Also, the fact that some people are so “worried” and “concerned” about him, or were worried and concerned while he was just kind of living his life is massively part of the problem.

And in terms of the scandals and issues, not a big deal. It’s an aspect of balance through the challenge. His whole thing is about being judged by people and here he is after this pretty big shift being put in a position where he is judged and criticized quite openly… it’s like a test. I feel like one of the biggest lessons for him in this was that this got stirred up into something more, or why it became more controversial than needed, was specifically because fans tried to downplay it, like, lol at ARMY for doing what every other fandom does. Like I was honestly a little shocked that so many people were so quick to pull that kind of nonsense with someone from BTS because I would have assumed with how quick everyone is to criticize how other fandoms react to their idols doing illegal shit, something this small and relatively insignificant would have been taken a bit more maturely, but nah. Can’t have that. Hypocrisy is the vibe here.

But like I said, there’s a lesson in that for Kook, lol. Which would be the opinions and perspectives of his audience are feeble and mean nothing, therefore he doesn’t need to concern himself with it on such a deep level, especially when it concerns him and his actions.

Love that for him.

More Mini-Readings | Celebrity/Idol Readings

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deadmancrawling · 5 years

Text

babysitting with cal

ummmm hello ha! so i have a lil something inspired by the conversation i had with my friend jules, so everyone say THANK YOU JULES!!! this is rly soft n cute and i don’t have a playlist but one song i do reference in here is Dive by Ed Sheeran so... do with that what you want.

pairing: readerxcal

word count: 2.2k

summary: you and calum agree to babysit mali’s daughters for the weekend

rating: PG

warnings: super soft and super cute uncle!cal

“So,” Calum says, approaching you as you sit on the couch of your shared home. “Mali called, and she’s going to San Francisco for the weekend, and needs someone to watch the kids.”

You raise your eyebrows, looking at your boyfriend cautiously.

“So are you going to watch them?” You ask. He plops down next to you and rests his head in your lap.

“We are going to watch them.” Calum smirks, looking up at you. “She’ll be here in about fifteen minutes.”

“You’re a sucker for those kids, huh?” You chuckle, running your fingers through his hair.

You look down at him, his eyes closed and a smile forming across his lips. “I love them more than I love y–” He cuts himself off before finishing that sentence.

You chuckle and bend down, kissing his lips before getting off of the couch and begin cleaning the house.

Calum gets up a few moments later, helping you clean as well, making sure Mali’s youngest wouldn’t be able to get into anything she shouldn’t.

Duke lays in his spot near the back door where the sun hits just right, careful not to get in the way of the two of you, as you clean.

“They’re here!” Calum exclaims, the excitement in his voice making you excited.

Duke begins barking like crazy and Calum opens the door, letting Duke race to Mali’s car, greeting his sister and her two daughters with a bunch of licks.

“Duke!” Mali’s oldest, Callie, named after Calum, screeches as she unbuckles her car seat and leaps out of the car, hugging her uncles dog.

“No love for your uncle?” Calum pouts, crossing his arms over his chest and looking at Callie.

“Uncle Cal!” Callie exclaims, jumping up and running into her uncles arms.

You walk over to Mali, helping her grab her youngest, Bennett, who you lovingly call Bennie, and walking them into the house to get settled in.

“Thank you guys so much for watching them this weekend.” Mali states, setting the girls stuff down in our guest room.

“It’s no problem, you know Cal and I are always a phone call away.” You smile.

“I’m so grateful he has you, you know. You two are good for each other.” Mali remarks, and you feel yourself blush a bit.

“I’m grateful for him too.” You smile.

You and Mali walk out of the room, greeted by the sight of Calum and Callie playing the floor is lava – the two of them jumping on the love seats.

“Callie,” Mali says, looking at the small brunette. “You be good okay? If you need anything, have Uncle Cal or Aunt (y/n) call me, okay?”

“Yes Mum.” Callie draws on.

Mali gives Callie and Bennett a kiss on the cheek, and Calum pauses the game of the floor is lava to hug his sister goodbye.

“Don’t worry, we’ll take good care of them, Mal.” Calum reassures his sister.

“No one will end up in the hospital.” You chime in, making the three of you giggle.

“Thank you. I love you both. Call me if you need anything.” Mali says, giving you a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

The four of you see Mali out to her uber, waving goodbye until she’s out of eye sight.

“So, Lil Cal, what do you want to do?” Calum asks, looking at Callie.

“Can we have a pizza party?” Callie asks, her eyes lighting up with excitement.

“Oh, we can have more than just a pizza party. What if we go to Planet Pizza!” Calum exclaims. “So much pizza! So many games! So much fun for the four of us to have!” He’s tickling Callie’s sides and she’s shrieking with joy.

“And snow cones?!”

“So many snow cones you’re gonna be sick.”

“Cool.” Callie mimics Calum’s demeanor when she says that, the two of them so alike that if you didn’t know any better, you’d assume they were father and daughter.

“What do you say, Bennie? Do you want to go to Planet Pizza?” Calum asks, taking the eleven month old from your arms and kissing her forehead. She coos and smiles at him before you go get the car keys for Mali’s car, and you head to Planet Pizza.

“How long is Mummy going to be away?” Callie asks you, as the four of you go get your snow cones from the stand.

“You’re going to be with us the entire weekend.” You smile, looking down at her.

She’s a spitting image of her mother – same brown eyes, same nose and cheekbones.

“I’m so excited!” Callie remarks, grabbing on to my hands.

You order your snow cones and take them back to the table, Bennie in her high chair, Callie next to you, and Calum all by himself on the other side.

“Lil Cal, why are you leaving me all by myself!” Calum asks before taking a bite of his snow cone.

“Because me and (y/n) are best friends!” Callie responds, sticking her tongue out.

“I’m… So… Hurt… How… Could… This… Happen…” Calum feigns heartbreak, staring at your niece sitting next to you.

“Aunt (y/n), Uncle Cal is being dramatic again.” Callie giggles, cuddling into you and you roll your eyes as you look at your boyfriend.

“Me? Dramatic? Lil Cal, you’re the one being dramatic.” Calum retorts, making eye contact with the four year old.

Callie giggles and finishes her snow cone before the four of us head back to our car.

“Bennie, leave me alone!” Callie screams from the living room.

Calum’s in the bathroom drawing a bath for the girls, and you’re keeping an eye on them as you sit on the couch.

Bennie is learning how to walk, and she’s grabbing on to Callie’s shirt for balance, but Callie is not having it.

“Bennie, please? We can hold hands instead.” Callie sighs, pleading with the ten month old. “Come on, I’ll show you how to walk.”

Callie grabs Bennie’s hand, and you watch as the two of them begin taking slow steps with one another. You can’t help but grab your phone to record the moment, it’s just too cute to ignore.

“Girls, are you ready for your bath?” Calum asks from the bathroom, and you follow the two girls into the bathroom where Calum is waiting for them.

Calum made sure there were extra bubbles, but not too many, because Bennie gets scared when there’s too many, you and Calum learned the hard way.

You take a seat on the bathroom counter and watch as Calum and the girls play with the bubbles.

Callie keeps taking bubbles and placing them under Calum’s chin, making him have a bubble beard, and then she places some on Bennie’s head, giving her a bubble hat.

“Bennie look!” Callie exclaims, and once she’s got her younger sisters attention, you watch as Callie blows bubbles out of her hand in the opposite direction, as to not get the bubbles in the baby’s face.

You can hear Calum quietly humming along to a song as he clears the bubbles off of his chin before he begins to wash Bennie’s hair for her.

“I like it when you sing, Uncle Cal.” Callie smiles as she puts the conditioner in her hair. “You sound like an angel.”

“I bet you say that to everyone who sings in front of you.” Calum chuckles, rinsing Bennie’s hair.

“Callie’s got a point, babe.” You tell him.

Calum looks over at you and smiles one of his genuine smiles – the big one where his eyes crinkle, and he blows you a kiss. “I love you.”

You catch the kiss and place it on your cheek. “I love you most.”

Once Calum is done rinsing Bennie off, you wrap her in a towel and give her a kiss on the nose, causing her to laugh and smile. Calum also grabs Callie and wraps her in a towel, picking her up and holding her.

“We got to do the ritual.” Calum tells you, and the two of them stop in front of the mirror, looking at their reflections. “Play the song, babe.”

You grab your phone and begin playing Dive by Ed Sheeran, and the two of them begin their little routine; swaying to the beat and taking turns singing the words out loud.

Calum looks into Callie’s eyes, singing along, “I could live, I could die, hanging by the words you say”, and you feel your heart melt as she giggles and throws her head back.

He then walks over to you, singing the song to you and making sure you join in.

“So don’t call me baby unless you mean it. Don’t tell me you need me, if you don’t believe it.”

You being to sing along as well, making eye contact with your boyfriend from time to time, singing to Bennie in your arms and making faces at Callie as you sing.

The bathroom is filled with voices, Bennie trying to sing along with you guys, causing you and Calum to laugh at her cuteness.

When the song ends, you take the girls into the guest room and get them ready for bed. They’re going to sleep in the bed with you and Calum, that happens every time the girls come over, but the two of you wouldn’t have it any other way.

“I’m going to make Bennie’s bottle, I’ll be right back.” Calum states, kissing your forehead.

You and the girls walk into your shared bedroom with Calum, Callie laying next to you and Bennie sitting up in your lap.

“Aunt (y/n)?” Callie asks, gaining your attention. “When are you and Uncle Calum going to have a baby?”

The question takes you by surprise, Callie had never asked this question before, to you at least.

“What made you ask a question like that, Lil Cal?” You ask her, raising your eyebrows.

“Well, I have cousins on my dad’s side, but none on mummy’s. I know Uncle Cal loves me and Bennie a lot, but I also think he wants his own baby.”

You give your niece a kiss on the head and sigh. “I don’t know Callie. When the time is right, we’ll have one, and you and Bennie will be the first to know!”

“Yes!” Callie cheers, wrapping her arms around you in a hug.

Calum walks back into the room and takes Bennie so you can get changed into your PJ’s. When you walk back out, you see Callie holding Bennie’s hands and Calum sitting on the floor near your closet, holding Bennie’s bottle.

“What’s going on?” You ask, grabbing your phone and sitting next to Calum.

“We’re going to see if she can walk to you!” Callie exclaims.

“Okay, baby B, come over here!” Calum says.

Callie lets go of Bennie’s hand as you press record, and you see her begin to take her steps.

“Come on, Bennie! Go, go, go!” Callie cheers her sister on, watching as she takes little steps towards you and Calum.

A few seconds later, Bennie is almost to Calum, holding her arms out to steady herself as she walks three more steps to her uncle, and then collapses in his lap.

Calum turns to face you and you see the tears in his eyes – he’s beaming at the fact that you’ve both witnessed not only Callie’s first steps, but Bennie’s too, and the joy he’s feeling right now could only be compared to how he felt when the band won their Grammy.

“You did it, Bennie!” Calum says, giving his niece a kiss on the cheek.

Duke comes running into the room and begins licking Callie’s arm as she sits down, and Callie begins telling him all about Bennie’s first steps.

You and Calum stand up, and Calum crawls into the bed. Callie crawls into the spot next to him on the edge, Bennie is propped up on his arm and drinking her bottle, and Duke gets up and rests near Calum’s feet.

You walk to the bathroom to take off your makeup, thinking about how lucky you are to be with someone who loves his nieces so much.

Walking out and looking at the bed, Callie is cuddled up into Calum’s side and already fast asleep, and Bennie is laying on his chest, her bottle resting between Calum’s armpit.

You walk over to the bed and hop in and turn on Trolls (it’s the girls’ favorite movie to fall asleep to), and cuddle into the Calum once you move the bottle on to the stand next to your bed.

“You’re so good with them.” You mumble, kissing Calum’s cheek.

“Yeah?” Calum smiles, looking over at you.

“Oh, definitely.” You say. You quiet your voice down to a whisper. “It’s kind of sexy. You know…”

Calum raises an eyebrow at you, curious to know where this conversation is going. “What are you thinking?”

“It’d be even sexier if you were a dad instead of just an uncle.” You smirk.

“How about we make that fantasy a reality once the girls leave huh?” Calum says.

“Good.” You say.

You kiss his face all over before cuddling into him, resting your arm over Bennie and holding Callie’s hand, falling into sleep easily.

Calum takes one last look around him and smiles, falling asleep surrounded by his favorite girls.

#calum #uncle calum #uncle!cal #calum hood imagine #calum hood blurb #5sos blurb #5 seconds of summer blurb #calum hood #calum imagine #babysitting with calum

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ursoself-satisfying · 5 years

Text

Friends Will Be Friends

they’re so cute ::””))) it's hard to find good gifs that fit this mood in particular lol rip

Roger centric (unrequited), officially John x Reader, sfw

A/N: based on a request!!! first angst piece yikes,,, this was supposed to be fluffy but appearently I cant do fluffy n now its angsty so thats fun,,, kind of a sequel to Thank God It’s Christmas, except now its new years yeet but u rly dont need to read anything beforehand this is an be a stand alone like all my fics theyre inherently connected in the universe in my head but not meant to be read in any order

Warnings: none rly, language ofc, some emotional Rog,,,,, Brian n Fred r like mom n dad for a sec,, unrequited love n angst ;;((((

linking my playlist for my last fic cus it works here too!!! listen here ;;;)))

“Well, I don’t know, really, when we got here I was dragged off by some girls congratulating me,” you took a long sip of the pink champagne, bubbles rising as you threw your head back to finish it before continuing, “I didn’t even know them, actually.” After the drink, this being your- Well, you couldn’t remember but you’d had quite a few and you were starting to feel it. You inhibitions began to escape you, slowly buzzing out your ears like flies. Your senses were still decently sharp but everything was emitting a soft haze. You shook your head and looked at the man beside you with a snort. Roger laughed a bit as you said this, looking down at his bunching pants and smoothing them out then taking a drink of his own still full glass of the same drink. The party behind you was muted through the glass you sat beyond. When you turned to your friend, you could see his reflection in the window, over the bare backs of various guests pressed against the surface. Blinding lights of every color were magnified and you turned away from them after a moment, keeping Roger in your peripheral vision. It was odd but nice that he would sit with you like this. He was a party man yet here he was overlooking the streets and the sky from the chilly balcony with you after rescuing you from a rather unseemly conversation with some giddy female attendants in matching schoolgirl uniforms that barely covered their asses. It occurred to you Roger approached the group with ulterior motivates but in the end he left with you and that warmed you in the bite of the winter outside.

His eyes were caught on you for a moment like knit on velcro and he had to pull himself away as you held out your hand and admired the heavy stone shining on your left ring finger. Anyone could tell it was new to you with the way you fidgeted, spinning around your digits and sliding it up and down whenever you spoke. “It’s kind of funny, in a way,” you started, turning your hand so the metal band would reflect the bright lights from the party behind you, “that so many people found out so quickly and are having such- they’re all being so-” lips flattened into a thin line, you searched for a proper word to describe the situation you were in.

When you couldn’t seem to find an adequate adjective, your friend offered his help. “Jealous? Neurotic? Insufferable?” Roger leaned towards you, scooting closer on the wrought iron bench, one eyebrow raised and a goofy grin. You leaned towards him as well and with a roll of your eyes, hit his arm playfully and shook your head.

Was he wrong though? You blinked and laughed at him, “Be nice!” you scolded, to which the drummer responded with an innocent raise of his open palm and an exaggerated frown. “They’re all excited for me and, don’t get me wrong, I’m excited, too- I’m beyond!” You shrugged your shoulders a bit unsurely, “but- Oh, I don’t know.”

Your gaze was cast down and you sat in silence for a moment, your environment sinking into you. The sights and smells became clear in your pause, filling your nostrils with the traveling scents of burnt sugar and wet soil. Licking your lips before beginning again, you kept up an act, refusing to show any doubts that had seeded themselves in the pit of your stomach. It was easy for you to talk about your love for John, as you truly did love him with all your heart, mind, and soul. Even though you were scared of the change and uncertainty of what this future might bring, you were sure he would comfort you. So you spoke of him to fill in the empty air where you thought your enthusiasm should be, truth in every word but the conversation lacked substance. “He’s wonderful. He’s everything and I couldn’t live without him.” Roger didn’t look at you, or at least you thought he didn’t. It was like he was looking past you like you were there but he could see something more as you continued.

Roger watched you intently when you went silent. He didn’t speak. It looked as though you needed some quiet, or as much quiet as one could get at a trademark Freddie Mercury party. You seemed deep in thought and you looked beautiful in it. Slightly slouching and shivering now and again, you stared aimlessly ahead of you. Fireworks boomed overhead but they didn’t seem to shake you. The only stillness in a mile radius existed around in you right then.

Looking out over the moonlit garden of the mansion, glowing blue and green in the cold night, layers of snow draping the bushes like thick wool blankets and sparkling like the stars that shone brightly above, Roger sighed. It was a gorgeous view, the fireworks over the scene reflecting off all the fresh white flakes gathering in the yard, creating an effect akin to what he imagined people leaving on the Titanic saw. The woman beside him kept up her chatter, going on so sweetly about how in love with her future husband she was and he could practically feel the admiration on his cold exposed skin like lashes batting against him. The hairs on his arm rose when he thought about it, her lashes on his skin, long and soft and accompanied by something else entirely. His unhelpful imagination warped her loving words into whimpers and moans he wished he could hear every night, but every thought was partnered with weighted guilt and he shook them from his mind.

Her words still found their way to his ears like bluebirds in the spring settling on a freshly painted windowsill. “It’s a lot of attention, and I don’t mind the attention, you know that, but he does and I worry about him.” Though she makes jokes, her tone is laced with concern that sends a pang to Roger’s heart.

“You really love him?” He started but interrupted himself, catching himself before he got into a conversation he wasn’t sure he could handle hearing in his over-emotional, half drunken state. “That’s a stupid question, isn’t it?” He looked to you with a smile, though the difficulty of the action was seeping through his teeth like a syrup. With his elbows supporting him as he leaned on his knees, he finished his sparkling drink and chuckled softly. He had inched closer still and now the two of you were touching at the hip. Closeness wasn’t uncommon or uncomfortable given the proximity the band often existed in. You were included in that as often as you’d been with the band in these places, the backstage dressing rooms or clubs and trailers.

The man’s breath hitched when he felt a soft feathery object fall upon his shoulder. It was your head leaning on him, hair nuzzling into the crook of his neck. God, he couldn’t fucking stand it. He held still, still as the marble images around the edge of their view, not wanting you to move, so desperately not wanting to disturb you. He wished- He wished so many things were acceptable to do right then, to do to you, to tell you- “So, uh, where do you think your boyfriend’s gone off to now?”

The words fell out like a cough, rough and unwanted in his throat. He could never grow to hate the man you were to marry. In fact, he probably loved him nearly as much as you did, though in a different way, of course, but it hurt him to see you with someone else, anyone else. It hurt more knowing this feeling had only grown the more you were together and that the only reason you two were ever together was that you were with John. Without John, he never would have met you, but because of John, he would never get to experience you in any way he fantasized. Of course, you didn’t have a monopoly on his mind, it would be unfair of him to claim that as he had other women, other lovers, and girlfriends for long periods of time. You, though, you were always there, both physically and just as a thought in the back of his head.

You interrupted his spacing out when you moved your head off him. He suddenly ached for the contact, both for the warmth and the connection it brought to him. The worst part was the departure of your scents, the soft exotic fruits of your shampoo washed off the pads of his jacket when you sat up to speak. You turned to look up at the pink and orange sparkling fireworks erupting overhead, echoing through the empty vastness of the spacious snow covered green. The snow absorbed the reverb, though, making the ordeal slightly less startling. Roger’s round, sunken eyes were on you as your own eyes traced the path of the falling ashes, still glowing as they rained from above. The sparks landed softly on the ground at your feet and in the light hair of your current companion. He watched as bits put out in your own tousled waves, crowning you with a dirty halo like an angel bringing forth the chaos of a clean slate.

Your growing smile sent another jolt to through the musician’s vessels to his heart. “I imagine he’s probably been given a few too many drinks at this point and has danced himself to the point of passing out and is asleep on a futon somewhere.” The laugh that followed was like music to his ears, like a symphony of love and a bittersweet taste of an unattainable treasure. “It’s exactly what I expected him to do- It’s what we planned actually,” you laughed again, “but I’m just not there with him while he’s doing it.”

Your breathy chuckle died out and you wrapped your arms around yourself with a shiver, the winter around you finally finding it’s way beneath your festive but not protective clothing choices. To be fair, you hadn’t known nor expected to be spending the whole of the New Year’s party outside and open to the forces of nature. Roger nodded as you spoke, still not looking at you. The weight of entering the new year with the unending potential, i.e. expectation, of marriage made you anxiously already and your friend acting so strangely right beside you only made you feel worse. It was a happy holiday, though, for clean starts and letting go and you weren’t about to burden him with these thoughts of yours. He sat back and turned to you slowly, placing a delicate hand on your knee. His soft lips opened to speak when a familiar voice bled through the glass, loud enough to reach over the resounding music still playing, which meant it could only be the host himself.

“Alright, you wonderful people! Midnight is almost upon us so grab yourself a partner! We don’t want to be entering the new year alone, do we?” A crowd roared and booed in response and they all clamored to find someone to hold as they made the journey into January 1st. The two of you looked back at the commotion, then at each other. The space between you was pregnant with things unspoken and uncivil, the child of want and need and lack of better options. Lust and longing brewed on Roger’s end and confusion on yours. Whatever he had wanted to say seemed to slip his mind as your eyes met and for a moment he just looked at you in awe.

There went his heart again, fiddling with his emotions in ways it shouldn’t, hurting as he turned away from you. He checked the time on his watch and it was only minutes until the strike of midnight. He had two choices here and neither was going to absolve him of all his unhappiness, but one had more appeal than the other. Fuck, he thought, was he really this awful of a person? Removing his lingering hand from the woman’s leg, which he was so thankful you so kindly didn’t mention, he stood and looked back at you. Your attention turned to him in his movement and you looked up at him, eyes glimmering in the light of the flashing night sky. He’d imagined looking down at you like this many times, perhaps in a bit of a different situation, but often when he was alone, on tour, in the shower. Here you were, though, tipsy and clearly preoccupied, plagued by second thoughts on your commitment, he assumed, alone with him and you were beautiful. Glowing like the garden you gazed out at, brighter than the moon over the snow and the sprinkling sparkles of celebratory fireworks above your heads. Time was not his friend or it would have allowed him to meet you before his bandmate did. He supposed, though, with great melancholy disdain, that one couldn't change fate and he had determined it must have been fate between you and John. The two of you were perfect. His options at that moment were to give into himself or to not fight fate and he chose-

“C’mon, then, love, you heard the man. It’s almost midnight and you should be spending these first and last minutes with the love of your life. Well,” he winked, “the other love of your life.” His hand was extended to you and you took it graciously, standing up with hurried blinks, the booze you drank earlier rushing to your head. You caught yourself on him as your feet failed to hold you up straight. His arms wrapped around you as you collided with his chest. He swore under his breath, knowing this was God’s punishment for all the tantrums he’d had. His body was warm on your and you hummed at the exchange of heat, killing him a bit more. Roger could barely move, desperately not wanting to let you go but knowing he had to. He pushed you back up and held you so you stood before him. Your deep breath woke you up, the sharp night air fressing in your hot, alcohol coated lungs. You could barely hold your head up to look him in the eye.

The percussionist could see the sudden wave of extremely inconvenient tiredness roll over you and he prepared himself for the contact he craved, knowing it was temporary and for the good of his friends. “Let’s find your hubby-to-be, huh? Get that New Year’s kiss.” He said, scooped you under one arm to guide you into the maze of people that was the party. Upon entering, the man holding you did his best to keep you close, for your safety partially for his own satisfaction. To you, everything began blending together. You simply felt exhausted and you suspected it to be some physical manifestation of emotional fatigue after all the circles you ran around yourself pondering the unnecessary worries of marriage. Fingers that weren’t your dug into your side and you had to catch your breath everytime you felt palms press against your form and embrace you in order to guide you through the mass of excitable horny couples preparing for the bell to toll.

“Roger, what’re you doing, darling?” Fred’s voice came from behind and Roger jumped.

“Fuck, Fred!”

“Roger,” the host said again, unfazed by his reaction and moving to face the pair, “what are you doing?” His tone was more pointed this time and he crossed his arms, brows furrowed at the sight of his arms around the engaged woman. His fingers tapped against his arm and he blocked you from going any further. Your eyes were half open and vision growing blurry but you could make out Fred’s voice anywhere. You were still awake but you were, in the nicest terms, out of it.

Roger scoffed and rolled his eyes, attempting to push past the singer, lowering his voice to speak into his ear as he passed, “It’s not like that, Fred, I’m finding her John.” Fred lowered his brow still and watch the couple shove through, passing him and heading to the cushioned seats in the center of the room. Fred shook his head, a cocktail of emotions raining over his features. Sympathy, pity, and disapproval all showed through his knowing glance back as he walked away.

The man holding you shook off the accusatory interaction with his bandmate and, reaching the cluster of chairs, spotted the poor bassist slumped against a wall. His fluffy hair was flat against the plaster wall behind him, leaning his head back and looking absolutely unfazed by anything happening around him. Frankly, Roger wasn’t even sure he was awake, eyes barely slits open. Then all the shit hit all the fans all at once, relative to Roger’s priorities.

“One more minute!” Someone yelled, and the bodies around him suddenly starting reacting, moving and jumping as excitement filled the air along with the odors of spilled beer and bodily sweat. Cursing, her gripped your slightly more awake form and shuffled towards where your lover was.

Now more awake than even before your drinks, jostled by the sound immersing you, you pulled back from the blonde holding you. Roger, losing your heat against him, turned back and spoke to you in the form a confused expression, arms raised as a question of why you disconnected. “Be my kiss,” you said, just loud enough for him to hear. You hadn't seen your other half, half awake at the end of the room. The time was ticking down and you were ready to give into booze filled bad ideas instead of overthinking this just as you had everything else tonight. “I don’t even know where John is,” you threw your hands up as you took a step towards Roger, who couldn’t take his eyes off you, “and it’s just you, Rog, he wouldn’t mind.” A smile graced your face with a small laugh, aiming to wash away the awkwardness of the suggestion, though it was meant to be innocent.

Or was it? Roger shuddered as another crack spread through his heart. Truly, this must have been a cruel joke. Kiss you? No, you only suggested it because you saw him as someone non-threatening and there would be no consequences. You saw him as someone you weren’t attracted to, he thought. True or not, that interpretation of your words hurt him, he hurt himself in thinking it. He wanted this so badly, but you and John were not even 20 ft from one another and neither of you saw each other. Maybe fate- No, he thought again, this wasn’t his place and it pained him to turn you down.

Without a word to you, the drummer turned and waved his hand in the air, calling your lover’s name. “John! JOHN!” Your hand was slipped into his in the process and together you made it to wherever it was Roger had seen the quiet man. Your face had lit up upon hearing John’s name and you eagerly followed your guide.

John was pulled from the deep recess of his mind as he stood entranced by the ceiling tiles, assuming you had found friends to party with and he hadn't wanted to intrude. His name was being called by an unmistakenly high pitched voice and he knit his brows, bouncing off the surface behind him to search the bobbing heads of the crowd counting down. A sweatband clad wrist waved excitedly at him and, what do you know, attached to that hand was a certain short-tempered drummer leading behind him-

“[Y/N]!” John called after you. The second he caught you in his sights, it was tunnel vision and he ran in your direction. Roger led you out of the densest mass and gave you a swift friendly swat on the backside as encourage you to meet your fiance. You squeaked, both at the swat and the sight of your lover. When he reached you, he completely engulfed you and you were left with nothing to know besides him. He was everything to do and every anxiety you had was gone at that moment, disappeared in a poof of smoke. Your arms were wrapped tightly around his neck, your face in his hair, smelling the drinks on him and loving every second of it. His large hands spread to shield the small of your back and hold you as close to him as possible.

The countdown began and the hundred of voices throughout the house chanted in unison, “Ten! Nine! Eight!”

John pulled away enough to look at your face and his own was distressed, “I’m sorry I didn’t find you earlier, I assumed you were having a good time elsewhere-”

“I’m always having a better time when I’m with you and it’s fine!” You laughed sympathetically, yelling over the loud countdown, “I got lost in the evening- In everything that was going on, and I-”

“I’m sorry!” He said, smiling weakly. He was so sweet and soft in the colorful lights melting over him.

“Four! Three! Two!”

“Shut up and kiss me-” And your lips collided with his. The clock struck midnight and it was a new year. The cheers around you, throughout the house, were earsplitting and no doubt the neighbors would have complaints, but no one cared. At that moment, everything was wiped clean. There was nothing but new opportunities and potential ahead of them and you finally came to terms with that. It helped to have your future husband caressing you and kissing you with such a passion you thought your lips would go numb. Nothing could have been better than being there in his embrace, you thought, and you mentally thanked Roger for dealing with you, distracting you, and helping you get to this point.

From behind you, Roger looked on with a smile, but as you two remained connected well past 12:01 AM January 1st, he left the scene. He tried to remember he had a woman, albeit one in a difficult relationship with him, and that he shouldn’t be having those thoughts about you at all. There were so many reasons why you were such a contradiction, so right yet so wrong, and it all made him crazier for you. He stepped back out onto the quieter space of the balcony where he’d been with you before. The cold felt like something he deserved. Not being able to stand to watch you exchange hot, open-mouthed kisses with someone else, though he’d never had one from you, was a ridiculous reason to leave his dear friend’s party, he thought. It didn’t stop him from stepping out, though.

The party inside died down as people passed out or left and the sun rose early that morning. Roger watched it, dark bags beneath his eyes a sign of his state. He remained outside, at some point having been given a blanket by a drunken guest immediately before they puked and passed out in said puke. The blanket was clean, thank God, and it was the only thing allowing him to stay where he was so long. The sunrise made him think of you, how bright you were. The birds that rose with the daylight reminded him of the harmony of your voice and the warmth he felt made him think of your body against his in any way possible What it year it was already, he thought, losing himself in inappropriate images of you. It was January 1st and Roger Meddows Taylor had started the year without a kiss and with an aching pain in his chest instead.

BONUS:

Upon finding himself the only one awake so early in the morning and having nothing to do, the lead guitarist instinctively began picking up. Streamers and bodies littered the floor among the confetti, sparkles, the leftover stick of shattered and spilled sugary drinks surrounded by a dangerous array of broken glass that shone with a misleading glimmer of beauty in the midmorning light. The trails of colorful debris had led him to the sliding glass doors of the balcony that open and closed with a low muffled click. Outside, though, was a sight the tall man hadn’t expected to see. His drummer, small and angry, was sound asleep on the bench coddled in a well-loved blanket. Head thrown back and mouth open, drool sliding down his cheek, he looked like a child and somewhere the standing man’s paternal instincts kicked in. Brian sat down beside the snoring blonde and put his arm around him. He was cold to the touch, the thin cover clearly not being enough to trap the heat to keep him comfortable.

His long languid fingers played upon his bandmate’s shoulder until it stirred him from his slumber. He jolted awake with a fearful, high pitched string of swears, frantically looking around until he saw the person beside him then proceeded to swat away any contact that had been made between the two of them. Brian laughed heartily and jumped a bit at the tired man’s reaction. “Fuck are you doing, mate?” Roger said, adjusting his posture and attempting to compose himself. He gingerly pulled the blanket tighter around him and shivered, now realizing how cold he was, as the new sun did very little to warm his aching body.

Looking on with worry in his eyes, though amusement ran through his face, Brian sucked on his teeth as he contemplated what would be the best curse of action in this delicate situation. “Fred told me he saw you with-”

“Oh, don’t start.” A disgusted Roger scoffed and turned towards his friend. Though he would never admit to the emotion behind his voice, the rings of hurt around his eyes made it clear something painful came from his heart.

Brian sat back a little, the cold of the metal bench sneaking through his coat and stinging his back. He understood the space Roger occupied, having once been there himself and it all seemed to work out wonderfully, but this, he admitted, was a bit more complicated. He wasn’t sure if he should say anything, as his friend sniffled and wiped at his nose discreetly. He couldn’t hide his quivering lip, though.

Though he’d pushed him away before. Brian went again to wrap his arm around the drummer, tightly this time so he couldn't be removed, squeezing and rocking him back and forth as a method of comfort. Roger choked back a sob and his eyes wet against his will. He kept face, though, and remained still, staring out upon the bright melting snow of the growing green garden that reminded of so much of her. A rattled inhale preceded a raspy confession, “I love h-”

“You love John,” Brian interrupted, pretending not to hear what the shorted man was about to say, knowing if he let it out he would regret it and he wouldn’t let his friend make that mistake. “He’s one of your best friends and you love him, hm?” Sitting beside him, the curly mop of long dark hairs towered over his companion’s messy blonde wisps. He looked down at him with a stretched smile, but the other avoided making eye contact. “You love,” Brian sighed, “that he has found someone who makes him so happy. Sometimes they mess up, but don’t we all?” Knowing to raise his brows as he spoke, the guitar player gave his childish friend one last squeeze on the arm then rose and looked out over the greenery below with him. “Don’t h-” He trailed off for a moment, then pushed his eyeline down, turning halfway to the still sitting musician. His hand held his chin in thought before he continued, “Don’t make any mistakes you’ll regret.” The response was thought out and he sends the percussionist a message of sympathy and understanding in his lopsided grin and squinted eyes. With a nod, he exited the balcony, leaving one last pat on Roger’s shoulder.

Roger took a moment to consider the ominous advice of his friend. He thought of all people to tell him something nice, it would have been Brian, for whom a situation much like his own actually ended well. He was disappointed in what he’d said. He did love John, like a little brother. Aren’t brothers just awful, though? The chilly air dried out his tongue as he breathed open-mouthed, nose blocked with clear snot that he would deny was ever there. The tears he couldn’t stop though. One by one, silent streaks cleared their way down the sides of his face from his soft blue eyes. “Quite the predicament,” he said softly to himself, biting back any unattractive noises that dared to climb up his throat. He let out a final conclusion in a pained smile and quiet voice, “Fuck.”

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drashleighreid · 7 years

Note

all of them :)

Sorry it took me so long to answer these lol1) What images do you have set for your desktop/cell phone wallpapers?My lock screen is sasha and my home screen is sandra lol 2) Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?did my horrible embarrassing crush on my gi count lmao 3) What was your last text message?me asking my mum how her day was going lol 4) What do you see yourself doing in 10 years?I wanna be living in LA working on movie sets or a studio in any capacity possible !! I'm !!! 5) If you could be anywhere else right now, where would you be?honestly ?? Nowhere LA is just..... 😭😍 I wanna be here forever and always 6) What was your coolest Halloween costume?I haven't done Halloween a lot so probably Alice in wonderland. I have a lot of cool ideas but never really get the chance 7) What was your favorite 90s show?SO MANY!! maybe friends?? But also Rugrats cat dog the nanny the x files Daria Arthur Sabrina ??? What a time to be alive 8) Who was your last kiss?umm?? I think someone in a club tbh lmao 🤷🏻‍♀️9) Have you ever been stood up?Uh not really?? I've gotten completely ready for something then had friends flake on me 10) Favorite ice cream flavor?Cookie dough!!!!11) Have you been to Las Vegas?no :--( I need to tho!! Gotta go to that flagship Taco Bell !!! 12) Your favorite pair of shoes?Luv my Adidas or my birks!! 13) Honestly, have you ever cheated on your significant other?No14) What is your favorite fruit?Mango!!!!15) Have you talked to anyone on tumblr that you could see yourself dating/having sex with? If possible?I don't think so 16) Are you into hookups? Short or long term relationships??? Who knows depends on the person 17) Do you smoke? If so, what?no. Sometimes w if it's available but very rarely 18) What do you do to get over your anger?listen to music and lay down, go for a drive, work out. 19) Do you believe in God?to some capacity. I'm more agnostic than anything. 20) Does the person you're in love with know it?No bc they're all celebrities who don't know who I am 21) Favorite position?Sleeping22) What's your horoscope sign?Scorpio 23) Your fears?I'm claustrophobic and have a fear of vomit and cockroaches lmao 24) How many pets do you have? What kind?None :---( 25) What never fails to turn you on?what 26) Your idea of a perfect first date?something fun!! Something active and cool!! Something where you can talk maybe like an arcade or smthn 27) What is something most people don't know about you?hmm.. a tough one. can't share all my secrets 28) What makes you feel the happiest?Travelling!! Airports!! Really good food!! Dogs!! 29) What store do you shop at most often?Probably target lmao 30) How do you feel about oral? Giving and/or receiving?👍🏼31) Do you believe in karma?Yes binch 32) Are you single?ye 33) Do you think flowers or candy are a better way to apologize?Flowers34) Are you a good swimmer?I won't drown but I probably wouldn't win many races either 35) Coffee or Tea?Cawfee!! 36) Online shopping or shopping in person?Depends on my mood and what I'm shopping for. I like both. 37) Would you rather be older or younger than your current age?I like my current age!! Younger if I could fix some shit ,, older if I'm where I wanna b then 38) Cats or Dogs?Doggos!! 39) Are you a competitive person?Depends on the thing. I'm lowkey competitive I won't #fight but I secretly rly wanna win everything 40) Do you believe in aliens?yes!!! Especially today !! Intergalactic alien day 41) Do you like dancing?Yes!! 42) What kind of music to you listen to?All kinds !! My music taste is a MESS 43) What is your favorite cartoon character?I relate to Lisa Simpson 44) Where are you from?nowhere bitch !! ?? I'm from Aus this question is weird tho rn bc I'm in living limbo n dont have a 'home' !! 45) Eat at home or eat out?Eat out!! Or get take out and eat at home watching Netflix 46) How much more social are you when you're drunk?A bit more depends on my mood n stuff and who I'm around 47) What was the last thing you bought for yourself?Taco Bell lmao 48) Why do you think your followers follow you???? no clue tbh ,, I feel like a lot of the followers I have now are just og from the vivaziva days 49) How many hours do you sleep at night?Can't function without 8-9 hours of beauty sleep !! 50) What worries you most about the future?not accomplishing my goals or being successful !! Not being happy or content ever w who I am and what I'm doing w my life !! 51) If you had a friend that spoke to you the same way you speak to yourself, how long would you be friends?we'd b friends she cool and tries to keep me in line52) Are you happy with yourself?there are things I can improve on. I'm not sure I'll ever be satisfied but I can keep trying and someday I'll b there 53) What do you wish you didn't know?The plot lines of my fave shows movies and books so I could experience it again. 54) What big lesson could people learn from your life?That life is ab priorities !! 55) If you could live in any home on a television series, what would it be?Hmm !! Maybe the friends apartment ,, or Mauras house !! Or Gabrielle's house from desperate housewives ,, 56) What's your favorite Website?Fanfic dot net 57) What's the habit you're proudest of breaking?Idk ??? people pleasing 58) What was your most recent trip of more than 50 miles?Does flying count ??? MCI-LAX 59) What's the best bargain you've ever found at a garage sale or thrift store?hmm?? Probably some jackets. I'm not good at finding bargains 60) What do you order when you eat Chinese food?I don't like Chinese food... I'll make stir fries at home w rice and veggies n a spicy sauce 61) If you had to be named after one of the 50 states, which would it be?The only one that doesn't sound awful to me rn is alaska lol. 62) If you had to teach a subject to a class, what would it be?English !! 63) Favorite kind of chips?Tortilla bitch 64) Favorite kind of sandwich?Veggie patty!! Or avocado on toast if that counts 65) Which do you use more often, the dictionary or the thesaurus?Thesaurus 66) Have you ever been stung by a bee?Yea67) What's your favorite form of exercise?Martial arts or dancing 68) Are you afraid of heights?no69) What's the most memorable class you've ever taken?umm... at school prob gender studies but my immediate thought was this bikram yoga class I did like 5 years ago that was like a masterclass taught by some important dude and when we were meditating at the end he was talkin ab how we should imagine ourselves floating in the perfect temperate water and the sky is filled with stars and they're reflecting off the water and ur just surrounded by stars everywhere and the water is lapping at ur skin and it's peaceful n beautiful and it just rly painted a picture for me and it was such a #moment that I always remember how euphoric I felt in that moment meditating and imagining what he was describing and every time I'm stressed or am meditating or just laying in bed I picture that I'm floating in this big ocean surrounded by stars and it's just stuck w me for a long time 70) What's your favorite breakfast?Acai bowls !! Or avocado toast !! 71) Do you like guacamole?BITXH yes .. so much72) Have you ever been in a physical fight?When I was like 10 lol 73) What/who are you thinking about right now?Doing this thing but I immediately thought of Sasha a bc I was looking at pics of her before this to put on to customised popsockets I'm thinking of getting lol 74) Do you like cuddling?Depends on my mood 75) Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?Probably 76) Have you ever experienced one of your biggest fears?Idk I'm claustrophobic and I used to be moreso than I am now and I used to nearly have panic attacks when taking off on flights bc I knew I couldn't get up and off the plane. I don't get those anymore on flights but I still avoid elevators and things like that if I can. 77) Favorite city you've been to?LA !!! Or London 78) Would you break the law to save a family member?Maybe 79) Talk about an embarrassing moment?ummmm. Probably something in school . I can't think of anything super embarrassing that's happened to me recently I'm not rly fazed by a lot. I'm most embarrassed just thinking of the person I was like 2-3 years ago lol 80) Are there any causes you strongly believe in?Veganism!!! 81) What's the worst injury you've ever had?Knock on wood I've been very fortunate in my life w injuries. All I can think of is when I was in eighth grade I used to bike to school w a friend and when I was pedalling up this rly steep hill my gears fucked up and gave out and my foot slipped off the pedal because I was pushing so hard and the pedal ground up the back of my foot and ankle and leg and I got a huge scrape on the front of it as well form the road and I still have a big lumpy scar on the back of my ankle from it lol 82) Favorite day of the week?Idk or care tbh !! Sunday maybe bc there's an aesthetic 83) Do you consider yourself sexually open minded?yes 84) How do you feel about porn?I feel like this requires like a novel length response. The industry is problematic in certain ways but the practice of watching it is fine 85) Which living celebrity would you like to know?Sasha Alexander !! 86) Who was your hottest ex? no one on here would know anyone I'd say anyway?! 87) Do you want/have kids?not really, not right now, maybe someday,88) Has anyone ever told you that they wanted to marry you?well 89) Do you get easily distracted?I get bored quick 90) Ass or titties?Ass91) What is your favorite word?Colloquial 92) How do you feel about tattoos?Luv em!! Too indecisive for any but they're cool to look at lol93) Do you have any pets?Not personally...... yet 94) How tall are you?5'6.595) How old are you?2296) 3 physical features you get complimented on a lot?Umm ,, eyes, hair, and boobs probably lmao 97) Is there anything you're really passionate about?Veganism !! ;) also movies/tv shows, travelling, middle aged actresses 98) Do you have trust issues?Somewhat 99) Do you believe in love at first sight?Never experienced it but that doesn't mean anything 100) What are some words that you live by? Why?'The cure for anything is salt water; sweat, tears, or the sea' bc it's tru I grew up near the ocean. Also 'if you always do what you've always done you'll always get what you've always got' also truThanks so much !! xx

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