#because i personally feel the other author handled it wonderfully
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TOO HOT TO HANDLE.
PART I
Changbin x reader. (s)
Too Hot To Handle masterlist
Synopsis: You and Changbin become contestants in a reality dating show, Too Hot To Handle. (14,5k words)
Author's note: I chose Changbin because it's cuffing season and now we got a reason to get a big boy, I want a big boy oh.... ifykyk
"Oh, this is so beautiful!" You sigh in amazement at the beautiful view of the beach.
You turn your head to the beautiful blond girl you're holding hands with, Sabine and it feels nice to be the first one to enter the villa with her.
"Oh, my Gosh!" She gasps, looking as amazed as you.
There are two small round tables with bottles of chilled wine inside the bucket of ice. Sabine takes one bottle and manages to pop it open without hassle.
You hurriedly take two champagne flutes and hold them as she pours the bubbly wine, she squeals as she almost overfills them.
"Cheers!" You both exclaim with your glasses clinking against each other.
Sabine gasps after taking a long sip and looks at you, "You're really pretty," she says.
Who doesn't like hearing a compliment especially when it comes from a beautiful person?
"You too," you say back with a cheeky smile.
"I see that you pierced your nipple," she says, easily spotting your pierced nipple through your blue bikini.
"Yes. I like them," you show her the piercings you have on both of your ears.
"That's really cool!"
"I did them myself," you proudly tell her.
Sabine gasps at that, "You're wild!"
Well, it's something you often hear people say about you, that you're wild and probably have been that way ever since you knew boys.
-
YOU: I'm the main character of my life, not a secondary one. I have a lot to give [winks] so bring me men, bring me women, bring me whatever. I hate rules and I do not follow them. I'm a little crazy [laughs] I'm not here to fall in love. I'm here to have fun.
-
"Wait, I'm picking up an accent here," you notice that Sabine is carrying an accent in the way she speaks.
She swallows her wine before saying, "I'm French."
"Oh, la la!" You playfully say with a nudge on her shoulder.
Sabine has that blue eyes that slowly drowns you in them and she knows how to use them as a form of seduction.
"Stop staring at me like that, you're so hot," you tell her while fanning yourself.
She laughs in satisfaction, "I got the feeling that you're open to anything."
You allow yourself to look at her small, heart-shaped face and her ski slope nose with a nose ring on the left nostril, there's no doubt that you can easily vibe with her.
"I am," you shortly confirm.
She gives you the eyes again and flashes you a flirty smile, "We're going to have so much fun then," she raises her glass for another toast.
If they leave you two alone for another minute, you're sure you would be kissing her already but fortunately, the next guest enters the villa.
"Okay, he's cute," Sabine comments while holding her glass close to her mouth.
First, this guy is so tall and he has that dirty blond hair that he keeps brushed to the back.
"Hello," he greets both of you with a bright smile.
He stands between the two of you to introduce himself, "I'm Oliver."
"I'm Sabine," she introduces herself as they exchange a quick hug.
As he turns to hug you, you hurriedly introduce yourself to him. You hand him a glass next and Sabine fills it for him.
"Where are you from?" Sabine asks.
"Guess where I'm from!" He dares you with a sly smile.
His distinct accent is not hard to guess, "Australia?"
"Yeah, but I've been living in the US," he adds, then takes a sip of his drink.
"My ex is Australian so I know," you mindlessly share.
That gets Oliver's head turned at you, "So, you're into Australians?"
"Sometimes, yeah," you give him a vague answer just to amuse him.
That seems to work wonderfully as he has his eyes on you until he realizes that he has another girl to pay attention to.
"You guys look gorgeous by the way," he says as he takes a step back just to check out the two of you.
"Oh, thank you!" Sabine says with a bashful smile.
"Anyway, what are you looking for in this show?" You ask him out of curiosity.
"I'm here to have a damn good time, honestly," he answers with a grin.
"Yes! Cheers to that!" Sabine says, initiating another toast by lifting her glass in the air.
-
YOU: They're so hot. I can definitely have a good threesome with them [laughs]
-
Changbin has no pressure whatsoever to be the last one to enter the villa.
He has so many things to offer more than just his looks. He's a confident man, he knows what he wants, and a great conversationist. A fair warning though, those good qualities are followed by a short fuse. Let's hope no one is having intentions to spark that fuse.
Changbin takes pride in being dominant but he balances it with his loyalty. He may be a casual dater but he never cheated on his partners or led them on when he has no interest in taking the relationship further.
In other words, whoever gets to be with him is lucky.
With the mindset that he owns this show already, Changbin steps into the villa, walking in confident strides that match his smoldering eyes.
If he thinks that he's it, then everyone would believe that he is it and Changbin feels like he owns this place already.
His presence demands attention and all eyes are on him, looking at him with eyes that are either curious or impressed.
"Hello there, big boy!" One of the girls greets him rather enthusiastically.
She introduces herself right away to him with a cheek kiss, "I'm Niamh."
"Changbin," he tells her his name and proceeds to introduce himself to the other guests.
All of the males are taller and more good-looking than him but he has all the girls' attention on him. See? It's not about looks, it's about how he carries himself.
"I'm just going to be honest, you're so my type," the other girl says to him.
"Yeah?" Changbin asks with a cocky smile.
"Yeah," she answers.
He believes her name is Riley and she is a gorgeous brunette with legs for days.
"Come over here then and have a drink with me," he says, leading her to the other table and popping a new bottle of champagne open.
-
CHANGBIN: I have a strong personality. I need someone to match me, I like them wild just so I can tame them [smiles] A look can say it all [flexes biceps] I put my whole body in the game so there's no reason to look at me and not want me right? [seductively smiles]
-
You didn't believe in love at first sight but today, when you saw those five guys walking into the villa, you fell in love five times in one day.
The last guy though, ooh, he exudes a strong aura, a charisma that you rarely find in men. Not to mention, he's big and muscular, you feel the urge to climb him like he was a tree.
Not wanting to make it obvious, you turn your body to the girl standing next to you, a Brazilian hottie, Rita.
"My god, he's delicious," you quietly whisper to her with an overwhelmed sigh.
Rita's eyes automatically search for the one you're talking about, "Who is?"
You glance at where he's standing, "Changbin."
"Who is Changbin?" She innocently asks.
You snicker in response and put your arm around her arm, it's convenient because she has a petite yet toned body.
"You're just one clueless baby, aren't you?"
For now, he's occupied by Riley as she keeps filling his glass with more wine but you can see that he's not that interested in her.
Frankly, you have more to offer to him.
-
YOU: Changbin... The things I want to do to that man. Ugh! [groans]
-
The first stop on the tour of the villa is the bedroom and everyone is excited at the number of beds in the room. There are ten of them and only six beds in the room, everyone has to pair up or they can choose to sleep alone on the bed.
Changbin has a plan to get himself a bed partner soon but he doesn't want to be hasty about it. He considers himself lucky that he's been getting the eyes from a couple of girls but he's curious about one girl and that's you.
Frankly, you're just as attractive as the others but you have this charm that inexplicably attracts him, making him want to get to know you more.
He sees you sitting at the end of a bed and decides to sit next to you.
"Where are you going to sleep?" He asks.
You lean back on the bed with your hands propped against the mattress, "I don't know," you answer with a cheeky smile.
"Where do you think should I sleep?" You ask him back with your eyes staring deeply into his eyes.
This level of confidence, not only that he likes it, Changbin feels the need to match it.
"On these big arms," he answers while showing off his big, toned arms.
Catching you ogling at them, he uses it to his advantage to let you touch him, "Want to touch it?"
"I wouldn't say no to that," you answer with a sly smile.
Changbin quickly pumps his arm for a while to present you with his glorious biceps, "You can touch them now," he says.
Your hand flies to feel his muscles, "Oh, wow, that's hard," you say in awe.
"Is that hard enough for you?"
You let out a chuckle, "For now, yeah."
"I can pump it again for you," he jokingly offers.
Your hand glides up his arm and rests it on his shoulder, "Or I can pump it for you next time," you make a lewd joke.
He has to admit that you know how to make him hot and bothered and he's not the type that easily gets hot and bothered.
-
CHANGBIN: I'm going to keep my options open but I got a head start so now I just have to maintain it.
-
"So girls, if you have to pick one right now without thinking too much, who would you pick?" Niamh asks with a thick Irish accent.
The girls are all gathered in the firepit to talk about the boys and which one of them they fancy. Sabine gets to be the first to reveal her answer, she turns her head to look at the boys who are hanging out in the cabana.
"I don't know... can I just let them pick me?" Sabine says with a giggle.
That's easy for her to say since she's the most popular girl in the retreat, you bet half of the boys are talking about her right now.
"How about you, Rita?"
Rita is busy playing with her hair to pay attention to the conversation going around the space, "What?"
She happens to sit next to you so you put your hand on her knee to keep her engaged, "Is there anyone you fancy?"
"Oh, I like Liam," she says.
Nico is dark and tall and has a gorgeous smile, you can see why Rita is attracted to him. They would make a cute pair with their height difference.
"Oh, yeah, Liam is one hella piece of chocolate," you nod in agreement.
Rita breaks into laughter at your words, "I bet he'll melt in my mouth," she cheekily says.
Niamh looks at the girl sitting at the end of the sofa, "Riley?"
"I want to keep my options open but I got my eyes on Changbin," she answers.
Welp, there goes your competition.
"You're not upset, right?" Riley thinks you wouldn't catch her throwing a glance at you but she's wrong to think that you'd feel threatened.
"Not at all," you calmly answer.
"Well, he's really hot," Riley shamelessly adds with a laugh.
"He is hot. Who disagrees?" You respond with a coy shrug.
-
YOU: If she feels like it, just do it. I'll do whatever I want but if someone tries to cut me off then... [blows kisses] bye-bye baby.
-
"Girls!"
Everyone's head turns to see Liam calling for them from across the swimming pool with the rest of the boys.
"Come, join us!" He says, inviting everyone for an impromptu pool party.
Not long after everyone gets into the water, they scatter to get some move on and you decide to wade your way to the side of the pool.
You have time to get your moves later and if someone snatched your guy away, it would be alright with you, you're here to have fun anyway.
Talking about fun, you see that you're about to get some.
It's hard not to notice that Changbin is making his way to you, his hands are wading in the water as he gets closer to you. With a hand pushed against the wall of the pool next to you, that leaves not much space between your bodies.
Changbin doesn't say anything but looks at you with a smile plastered on his face.
"You look shorter from a distance but you're actually quite tall," you tell him, even though he's only a couple of inches taller than you but men like it whenever a girl compliments their physique.
"Well, I'm huge," he simply says and he probably thinks you won't notice that he slowly closing the gap between your bodies.
Your eyes automatically look at the beads of water trickling down his arms and chest, you don't even try to keep it subtle while doing it.
"Yeah, I can see that," you tell him.
Changbin seems to like being ogled on, his mouth curls into a cocky smirk and it looks so damn attractive on him.
You look at him and brush your wet hair to the back, "How about me?"
"Very hot," he answers without a beat.
The way he eagerly answers you tell how much he's been waiting for you to ask him that, and you can't help but chuckle at it.
"A bit aggressive, okay..." you respond with a nod.
He rests another hand against the wall of the pool, caging you in between while closing another inch of space between your bodies.
"Why not?"
"Well, you could say I'm cute," you answer with your head tilted to the side while maintaining eye contact with him.
His hand moves to your side, holding you by your ribcage with his thumb teasing the elastic band of your bikini top.
"You're cute, you're gorgeous, you have good energy," he compliments you as he steals another inch to get closer to you.
"And you're really hot," he finishes with a flirty smile.
It's in the eyes and the words he said, he knows how to combine those two and turn them into a weapon.
You gently push him away but seeing how big he is, of course, it's a useless effort.
"You're bad, you're a smooth talker," you tell him with giggles.
He puts on a triumphant smile, "You can make me good," he says.
You look away to collect some senses into your head, not wanting to fall into his trap just yet. It's still early, you still want to explore your options.
"Not sure about that but do whatever you want," you tell him with a light head shake.
There comes the sly smirk on his face again, "So, I can do whatever I want, huh?" He says.
You keep your hand on his chest to stop him from coming closer, "Do whatever you want in your personal space," you correct your first remark.
There's no winning against him, Changbin takes another step to close the remaining gap between your bodies, "Well, I'm in your personal space now," he says with his face mere inches away from yours.
Your hand on his chest fails to stop him so you may as well use it to feel his firm muscles. You can feel you're slowly cracking under his intense, lustful gaze. You quickly look to the side and have nothing to say back to him.
He pushes his body against you and you can feel the heat his body emits even though you are both soaked in water. He then leans into the side of your face and whispers, "We're in a shared space now so what's going to happen?"
Changbin knows how to play this game, his eye, his words, and now his whole body is pushed against you, they're all moving under one powerful command and that is to conquer you.
He makes you forget about your surroundings and everyone can see what he's doing to you. You dare yourself to look at him and place your hands on his chest.
Still, you have nothing to say to him knowing that he'll use it against you.
"Come on," he says, getting bolder by putting his arm around your waist.
"Just a kiss," he mutters with his hot breath fanning your neck, not hesitating to kiss your neck afterward.
Oh, fuck, he's so confident and aggressive, the next thing you know, he'll be preying on you. You find it hard to resist him and can only lowly laugh at his persistence but what's the fun of giving him what he wants? This cocky boy needs to learn a little patience.
At once, you push him stronger than before, sending him a few steps back, and that way, you can escape him.
Changbin hits the water and it splashes over you, "Come back!"
You're only laughing at him as you're heading to the steps and before getting out of the pool, you look over your shoulder at Changbin, "Later!."
-
YOU: I can tell that this guy is going to give me a hard time.
-
Changbin wouldn't say that he failed, it's just that, you're a little tricky to win over.
He gets it that maybe it's just day one and you want to keep your options open, but he doesn't want to waste time.
Changbin dries himself off with a towel and then sits on the empty lounger.
"I see that you made your move, man," Liam says, sitting on the lounger next to him.
Changbin tosses his towel away and sits with his hands clasped in front of him, "Yeah, but you saw everything, she's acting like—"
"Just let it go, you know, go with the flow, let the gears spin," Liam cooly suggests.
If Liam still wants to go with the flow then that's his choice, but Changbin doesn't see why he should wait when he already knows what he wants and he wants you, there's no one else that catches his interest like you.
He can see that you have quite a fiery personality, you're passionate and forthright, and there's nothing fake about you. He senses that you're a little wild but he knows what to do about it.
"Frankly, I would hook up with all of the girls, they're all attractive," Changbin gives his honest opinion.
Liam nods in approval, his dark curly hair bouncing along with him.
"But she's the one that I can connect with more than the other," Changbin continues as he takes his water tumbler to take a sip.
"Yeah, you make a good match," Liam comments.
Changbin swallows his water before continuing to talk, he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand after.
"I want to know whether it's mutual or not," Changbin says.
"Yeah, yeah," Liam nodding along to his words.
"If it's not then that's the way it is," Changbin finishes then takes another sip of water.
"Then go for it, man! Take control of the game!" Liam encourages him.
It doesn't get to him that he has indeed lost control of the situation. Liam is right and he knows exactly what to do.
Changbin should get back on his feet and call you to the game.
-
CHANGBIN: It's time to take control of the game [smirks]
-
Taking advantage of the empty dressing room, you decide to be the first one to shower and put on a new pair of bikini. After drying your hair, you think of putting on something over your bikini.
You're standing in front of your closet as you try to settle on your choice of clothing. Hearing footsteps coming toward you, you close the door of your closet to see who it is.
Knowing his personality, Changbin wouldn't stop until he gets what he wants so you kind of expect that he'll come for you again, but not this soon.
He leans the side of his body against the closet and looks at you, giving you the eyes without saying anything.
"Stop looking at me like that," you tell him with a chuckle.
He stays quiet but crosses his arms on his chest as his smile grows wider on his face.
You turn to face him and ask, "What do you want?"
"What do I want?" He asks you back because he knows that you know.
"Okay, you don't need to say it," you tell him and you can't escape him again, not this time.
He leans in close and sweetly asks, "Can I do it?"
You subtly roll your eyes at him, "Do you even have to—"
With or without your permission, he's going to kiss you anyway so you lean in first and let him do the rest.
The kiss is intense, like you can feel how much he wants it and at the same time, he wants to show you what he is capable of. He puts his arms around you before resting his back against the closet. With the strength he has, you're sure you can't easily escape him this time.
But boy, he knows how to kiss, he knows how to make you dizzy with the way he uses both his plush lips and slick tongue. He makes you feel like breathing isn't necessary, you just want to keep kissing him until you turn blue.
Driven by the desire, you find yourself pushing him against the wall and opening your mouth for him, a moan or two escapes your mouth in between kisses.
When your lungs feel like catching fire, you let go of the kiss but not without sucking on his lower lip first.
Changbin smirks, liking what you're doing to him and you expect no less than that.
You have him caged between your arms now as you catch your breath, looking at him with filthy thoughts in your head and you bet he thinks the same things too.
"I know what you're doing to me," he says.
Well, great minds think alike.
"Mmh? Yeah?" You let your breath brush his cheek.
You crack a laugh at how he stifles a breath as you put your whole weight against him, pressing onto his crotch.
"Are you laughing? How about I throw you onto that table, mmh?" He taunts you but that only gets you excited.
"Shh..." You shush him and press another kiss on his lips to shut him up.
You feel his hand glides down to your ass and fondles it as he deepens the kiss. It's so quiet in the room that you can only hear the smooching sounds of your kisses, it's good that no one comes into the dressing room and interrupts the two of you.
Changbin lets go of your lips to drag his mouth down your neck and kisses you there. You drop your hands around his shoulders, allowing him to bury his head in the crook of your neck.
With one slobbering kiss on the column of your neck, Changbin finally lets go.
"I'd better go," he says.
You giggle because not only that he doing the opposite of what he said, but he tightens his arms around you.
"I'm getting excited," he continues with a heavy sigh.
The growing bulge inside his swimming trunk is apparent and you can feel it without having to look at it, "Yeah, I feel it," you tell him.
Truthfully, you don't feel sorry for turning him on but you do feel bad for not taking responsibility for it. You take a step back to put a space between your bodies yet Changbin pulls you by the elbow to place a long peck on your lips and smiles when he pulls away.
It seems like you're already trapped in his charms but what's there to lose? You win big here.
-
YOU: I can't say it was bad because it wasn't. It was so fucking good [groans] I want more!
-
Excitement and jitters are mixed into one in the dressing room as everyone gets ready for tonight.
The excitement comes from everyone getting so hyped up for the first party in the villa while the jitters come from not knowing what the first quest will be.
"What do you think the first quest is?" Niamh asks while coloring her pale cheeks with pink blush.
You cluelessly shake your head, "I have no idea," you answer.
"As long as I don't have to hunt or skin animals, I'm good," Riley says with a laugh.
As for yourself, you feel good about tonight. You put on your best outfit, put make-up on and a thick coat of red lipstick.
The boys are already waiting as you and the other girls are coming to join them by the pool, everyone takes a drink served on the table along with trays of bite-sized food.
Everyone raises their glasses in the air to propose a toast.
"To a good time!" Liam leads the toast.
"To a good time!" Everyone repeats.
Sabine adds a high-pitched scream at the end of the toast as she clinks her glass with yours, sending the sweety alcoholic drink sloshing out of the glass and trickling down your wrist.
You laugh it off and sip your drink at the same time the music starts playing, kicking off the party with an upbeat song.
"Got you!" Someone says, holding you from the back.
From the size of his arms, you can tell who it is. You immediately turn around to face him and put your glass away, "be careful," you warn about the little incident you had earlier with your drink.
Ignoring your warning, Changbin takes your hand and places an open-mouthed kiss on your wrist, from there, he continues his trail of kisses upward, along your arm and stopping at your shoulder.
You giggle as he places a final kiss on your neck, "Put your drink away and dance with me," you say.
He obeys right away, putting his drink on the table nearby and back to putting his hands on your waist. The two of you dance with your foreheads pressed in the middle and your bodies slowly swaying against the fast-paced music.
It's either the weather or the proximity or the intensity of his stare, you find yourself feeling hot inside and out. You can feel a thin layer of sweat forming on your forehead.
Changbin drops his head into your neck and you feel him inhaling your scent.
"Do you like how I smell?" You playfully ask him.
He smiles against your neck and nods, "Smells heavenly."
You place a kiss on his jaw and get a quick sniff of his perfume. He smells of musk and citrus which is something that quite captures him as a person.
"You smell good too," you tell him with a smile.
The hand resting on the arch of your back moves up to the nape of your neck and you can easily guess what he's going to do next.
The second he starts leaning in, you close your eyes and feel his lips on yours the next second. The tongue that pries open your mouth, the hand taking a fistful of your hair and the other one that grips your waist only proves that his kiss is never just a kiss, it's passionate, deep, and hungry, and it consumes you whole.
Ultimately, he does it to show everyone that you're his.
You have to push him by the chest to stop kissing you as you're running out of breath, "I need to breathe, don't you think?"
Changbin responds with a shameless grin and draws you close again, not letting you get away from him.
You wipe the lipstick mark on his lips with your thumb only for him to kiss you again. You roll your eyes at him in response to that.
"It looks good on me so leave it," he coyly says to you.
You manage to dodge away as he's about to kiss you again and laugh at him while he pouts at you.
Changbin sure has a distinct charm that you rarely find in a guy.
You lean in this time and place a long peck on his plump lips, slowly forgetting about your surroundings and that you're filming a TV show.
The lights suddenly off in the villa and the music abruptly stops, everyone turns their heads to the source of lights remaining in the vicinity.
The staff leads everyone to the beach and not long after, you see a boat coming ashore. As everyone else is cheering, you feel a little nervous about it.
"Do you think it's the first quest?" Niamh asks from next to you.
The quests! It only sinks into you now that the show tells you that the guests have to do a series of quests to win the show.
After registering everything, you gasp in surprise, "Oh, my God!"
Someone is getting off the boat and you assume he's the host of the show, he takes a stand on the small platform propped on the sand.
"Welcome to Love Quest!" He starts.
Everyone is cheering and applauding, then Oliver comes out of nowhere and puts his arm around your shoulder, his cheeks are blushed from drinking.
"What do you think we'll do?" He asks the same question with Rita.
"No idea," you honestly tell him.
The host takes a look at everyone with a cryptic smile on his face, "What do you think the first quest is?"
"I don't know but I'll probably shit my pants," Riley answers with a laugh.
"Well, are you ready for it?" The host turns on his feet to look at the boat.
"Yes!" Everyone answers in unison, followed by more claps and cheers.
"Time to find out your first quest!"
Two people are carrying a box down the boat, from the way they carefully place it next to the host with a loud thud, you can tell how heavy it is.
The host holds the handle of the lid of the box and keeps his cryptic smile on his face.
"This is your first quest..."
-
YOU: Oh, my God! What is about to happen?
-
Changbin has no idea why everyone is shocked to see a cone rising out of the box.
It must have something to do with the quest right? But why does everyone have to be this devastated? It's just—
Standing next to him, Sabine asks, "Is this what I think it is?"
"What?" Changbin cluelessly asks her back because he's confused still.
"Oh, my God!" Sabine turns panic with her hand flying to cover her mouth.
He looks around and everyone is having similar reactions as Sabine, except him, he's the only one being utterly confused.
Changbin helps Sabine steadies herself and asks, "What? Tell me! What?"
Sabine turns her head at him to finally answer him, "This is too hot to handle."
What is that? He asks himself, going deeper into the pit of confusion. He's more curious as to why everyone is acting like it's the end of the world.
Then the cone chimes and lights up, startling him because he thinks that it's just an air freshener or a portable speaker, not an AI talking robot.
"As you can see, this is no longer Love Quest," Lana begins.
He looks to the side and notices you with your mouth hanging open.
"This is Too Hot To Handle," he cone announces.
"No!" Sabine groans, grabbing at Changbin's arm.
"That means no fun, ever!" She emphasizes every word with deep sorrow.
"You have been specially selected because all of you are having meaningless flings over genuine relationships."
"That's rude!" Niamh shouts at the cone.
While Oliver grins and agrees right away, "Not wrong at all!"
"Since your arrival, I have been gathering data on your wild behavior but from now on, you must adhere to my retreat rules."
Next to Sabine, Changbin sees Liam put his hands on each side of his head, looking upset. He catches him looking, then says, "Oh man, I didn't get to rub one out to like, you know, say goodbye."
Changbin has no idea what it's got to do with the rules or maybe...
"No kissing."
What? Changbin has kissed you so many times only to be told that he can't do it again?
"No heavy petting."
It starts to dawn on him why everyone reacted the way they were when the cone popped out of the box.
"No sex."
He gets why everyone acts like it's the end of the world because it's far worse than that.
"The rules also apply to self-gratification."
"Shit! Fuck!" Changbin curses out of reflex at the mention of it.
Not only that he can't do physical things to other people, he can't even touch his own body. Does that even make sense?
Sabine hits her head at Changbin's arm, "We're fucked!"
"As part of your social development, I have allocated a prize of $200,000," Lana announces.
"That changes everything," Liam comments
There's money on the line now and that motivates everyone to follow the rule and some people are cheering in excitement.
Well, the money sounds good but to earn it by refraining from any sexual practices for a month? That's kind of impossible for Changbin.
"Surely, we can spend a few grand," Oliver says with his arm around you.
Changbin allows him for now as he seems a little tipsy.
"No, man, no!" Liam quickly shuts him off, putting an end to his rebellious ideas.
"But we got 200k of them," Oliver says with a subtle grin.
Liam lightly shakes his head at him, "Oh, no, you're going to mess this up for all of us," he says, sensing troubles in what Oliver said.
Looking at Sabine, Changbin believes that Oliver is going to have a hard time not touching her. Then he looks at you and realizes that it's going to be hell for him too.
"Welcome to your long, hard, sexless summer!"
-
CHANGBIN: It's too late to back out right? [Clicks tongue] Guess we're going to go with it [sighs]
-
"That was a bad party," you groan, taking off your strappy heels as it's hard to walk on the sand in them.
Rita links her arm with you to walk back to the villa together, "How much do you think a kiss costs?"
"Two to three grand, I guess?" You wildly guess.
You're familiar with the show but never stayed long to pay attention to how the show works except that it doesn't allow you to get all kinds of sexual with each other which is going to be difficult for you.
All these times, you do things as you please and that includes kissing or even sex. It's so easy for you to do it with anyone because you keep things casual, with no attachments whatsoever which makes it easier.
Now that the fun is being taken away from you, you have no idea how you're going to do it. It becomes harder later that you're sharing a bed with a man that you are physically attracted to.
Seriously though, what have you done that makes you deserve this?
You're not the only one moaning and groaning in complaint about these sudden rules in the villa, the girls can't stop talking as they remove their make-up to get ready for bed. Your bedtime routine takes double the time as you can't help but join in on the chat with the girls.
"Which one do you think is going to be first to rule break?" Riley asks while brushing her long brown hair as she speaks.
"Not me," Niamh immediately answers.
You glance at Sabine who's giggling in response to Riley's question, "Sabine..."
Sabine puts her hand under her chin, "I think we should kiss each other and be the first to break the rules," she gives her opinion.
"That's not a bad idea," Rita agrees with her.
"No, I think we should make the boys sweat a bit," Riley offers another idea.
"I like that more, yes," you agree with her.
"But Oliver is so hot and I'm sharing the bed with him," Sabine whines at you.
You shrug because you have no answer to that, you're in the same predicament as her.
"Sabine, no, honey, you can do it!" Niamh encourages her
You sense that Niamh is going to be the protector of the prize money and you can't blame her for that, it's a lot of money, and you would love to win it.
However, the possibility for you to win that money is close to zero.
"Something about being told not to do something, you know," Riley says, now braiding her hair in one big pigtail.
"I know, right?" Sabine gasps.
For you, rules are something you are never good at following because they are meant to be broken anyway so why bother following them in the first place?
-
YOU: Now that I can't have it, I want it more [bites lips]
-
It's been an eventful day and he's looking forward to ending it.
Changbin sees that you're stepping into the room and heading straight to his bed, this is the part he's been looking forward to, he wants to end this day with you.
It sucks that he has Lana's rules to follow but that doesn't stop him from feeling ecstatic to share the bed with you. Especially with you dressed in a short night dress that barely covers your ass.
Oh, it's going to be a long, agonizing night for him to try not to touch you.
A smile dances on your face as you crawl on the bed and sit next to him with your back facing the room, you innocently rest your hand on his thigh like it wouldn't affect him.
"Is this what you're wearing to bed?" You ask him, pinching the hem of his black boxer.
"Yeah," he simply answers, looking at his sleeping attire of a boxer and a black t-shirt.
Changbin tries to look at your face but the plunging neckline of your night dress keeps distracting him, he can also see your nipples poking through the thin fabric.
However, his hand remains steady on your thigh, fingers lightly rubbing the skin to feel how smooth it is.
It's getting a little noisy in the bedroom with everyone talking all at once, or they're simply as excited to share beds.
You look over your shoulder for a while then put your leg between his as you look back at him, "I think it's going to be so weird to have sex in front of people," you suddenly say out of nowhere.
Changbin is half listening when his eyes are busy listing over your body, "Yeah..."
"Not that we're going to," you quickly add with low giggles.
Your hand glides up to his stomach and slipping it under his t-shirt, it's like you know that's his sensitive area.
"Just saying..." you add with a playful grin.
Now that you hinted at it, he can't help but imagine it, and without waiting for his brain to send the command, his hand moves up to your waist and grips it.
"Because you know, you get going..." you slightly grind on his thigh and pretend to moan to show it to him.
"And you know, like, it's going to be so loud," you finish talking with a sly smile on your face, knowing what you just did to him and what it does to him.
Changbin's imagination is getting vivid and he bites his lower lip to suppress the urge to kiss you. He plays with the lace fabric of the hem of your night dress, "Is that how you do it?"
You tip your head to the side, "What? Fast and loud?"
"If we do it fast, I'm not sure you can keep up with me," he says with a daring smirk, fueling his filthy mind with his own words.
You prop your hands against the mattress to hover above him and then mutter, "I just want you to throw me around."
Then you put your body on top of him which he gladly embraces, he can feel your body slowly molding into his and it feels so intimate to feel each other's bodies like this as he puts his arms around you to keep you close.
You feel soft and small against him, Changbin gets the urge to protect and take care of you but at the same time, he wants to rip your clothes off and make you cry out of pleasure.
And he never met someone that made him feel that way until today.
-
CHANGBIN: She makes me horny as hell, makes me want to get down and dirty right there with her.
-
Maybe both of you were mentally drained from the revelation that this is not Love Quest anymore and not much happened before you both went to sleep last night.
Through the curtains, you can see that it's already bright outside but the lights aren't on yet.
Changbin's arm is draped around your waist and you clutch it close to your chest, snuggling yourself close to his body.
"Oh?" You lowly gasp, feeling something poking behind you.
You feel tempted to touch it or at least, take a look at it but you refrain, you decide to tease him by rubbing your ass against his morning wood.
It doesn't take long for him to realize what you've been doing to him, he lays his hand flat on your stomach to stop you but you're relentlessly continuing to do it.
"Stop it," he scolds into your ear but you pick up the playful cadence in his sleepy voice.
Ignoring him, you arch your back more and keep teasing him. This time, Changbin firmly grips at your waist to stop you.
"You're going to get me in trouble," he mutters.
You decide to obey him and pull at his arm, wanting him to hold you close again.
Changbin puts away the hair covering your neck then places a long kiss there, he places another kiss on your shoulder blade before cuddling you again.
"Mmh..." he delightfully hums, "I can get used to this."
And you can't think of a better place to wake up to than next to him, it feels warm and snug in his arms and you don't think you'd get it from anyone else but him.
Then the lights are on and the cone chimes, waking up everyone from their slumber.
"Good morning, everyone!" Lana greets.
It's not ideal to start the day hearing the cone talking but then again, you're here under her authority.
"Morning," you sleepily answer.
You lay on your back but Changbin clings to you, burying his head in your neck with his hand resting across your chest.
"Get ready for some fun in the sun but the only way you're going to get wet is getting into the pool."
Lana is a robot but she surely masters sheer sarcasm and you admire her for that, she's not one to mess with.
"Is there any way we can turn her off?" Oliver asks with a gruff voice.
That shifts everyone's attention to his shared bed with Sabine and you notice the subtle smile on her face, "Looking so smug there," you tease her.
Sabine softly chuckles and brushes her hair to the back, not saying anything but resting her head on Oliver's shoulder.
They seem suspicious that Niamh can't help herself but ask, "What's going on, guys?"
"Nothing," Oliver answers for both of them, sweeping his hair to the side.
What everyone is doing is not your business so you choose to mind yours, hugging Changbin and feeling the muscles on his back.
"What are your plans for today?" You ask.
After a moment, he finally answers, "Working out."
"After that?"
"Shower."
"After that?"
"Breakfast."
"And what time are we going to break the rules?" You playfully ask him but you're curious if you both have the same thoughts about it.
Changbin lifts his head to look at you to see if you are serious or not, then cracks a laugh.
"Tonight?" You ask again.
Not getting an answer, you slip your hand into his soft curls and ask again, "Tonight at 8, mmh?"
He looks at you again and you both burst into laughter at the same time. He overlaps your body with his and nuzzles his nose into your neck.
"What do you think we should do, mmh?" You tease him more with a gentle ruffle on his hair, "Kiss? Handy? Sex? Anal?"
Changbin breaks into laughter again and he has the kind of laugh that is infectious, making anyone who hears it laugh along with him.
Jokes aside, you get the feeling that Changbin hesitates to break the rules, you can't tell if is it because of you or if he has his reasons.
Well, there's always a way to find out.
-
YOU: If he wants to come up to me, he can get some talk, he can get some actions [smirks] I'm up for anything.
-
Changbin is feeling refreshed after taking a shower.
He worked out a little late into the afternoon because of the big breakfast he had this morning, he felt the need to lose the extra weight he gained and turned them into muscles.
He almost bumps into Liam as he enters the dressing room, not knowing that there are people in there.
"What's up, man?" Nico asks who happens to be there as well, playing with the girls' make-up brushes.
"Not much," Changbin shortly replies as he opens his closet.
Not long after, Oliver comes into the room, grinning ear to ear. He just stands in front of everyone but not saying anything.
Changbin smells trouble from him, "Looking smug. Where have you been?"
"Just had some alone time," he talks almost inaudibly.
"With Sabine?" Nico asks for confirmation.
Oliver starts pacing around the room still slyly smiling, it's like he waits for someone to catch up on it.
"Oh, don't tell me you kissed!" Liam says with a defeated sigh.
Changbin can tell the answer right away from the smile plastered on his face, "It's true," he confirms for anyone.
Liam calls Changbin and even though he's only dressed with a towel around his waist, he helps Liam corner Oliver and forces him to confess.
"Why are you guys so big?" Oliver asks both of them, looking slightly intimidated by their sizes.
"What did you do?" Liam asks him again.
Oliver holds his hands up and nods, "Yeah, we had a little kiss."
"Oh, no, it's only day two, bro!" Nico says from behind Changbin.
With his hands up, Oliver starts to explain, "We had a moment, okay?"
Changbin walks back to his closet to start putting clothes on and sees Liam is still towering over Oliver, "Is that the only thing you did?"
"Yeah," Oliver answers.
Liam then looks around the room to see every there, the boys are all here except for Shane.
"Now if any of us do any rule breaks, I'd appreciate it if you just... fess up," he says to everyone.
Oliver nods in agreement with a winning grin for successfully becoming the first one to break the rules in the retreat.
It's getting interesting now that the first rule break has occurred and it's only about time other people start doing it too.
Changbin wonders if he should do something about his appointment at 8 tonight.
-
CHANGBIN: Is it going to be my turn? [Smirks] I might do something tonight. We'll see.
-
It's only about time that someone broke the rules and you're right to put your money on Sabine.
However, you didn't expect that it was going to happen this soon, Sabine and Oliver did it in less than twenty-four hours after Lana's sex ban.
"You think everyone is mad at me?" Sabine nervously asks you.
Everyone shouldn't act like they're going to be perfect going forward, the retreat has only just begun so there's no guarantee that there'll be saints left at the end of the retreat.
"You know I was just waiting for someone to do it," you honestly tell her.
Sabine pauses applying her lip liner and cracks a laugh, "Yeah?"
"Yeah, me and my man have a plan now," you jokingly say.
"What are your plans?"
"We're going to give each other head," you joke.
The actual plan is not very far from it, you're going to look so good tonight that Changbin can't resist you. You check yourself in the full-length mirror in the dressing room and are satisfied with what you see.
"I look so hot," you praise yourself, turning around to see the back view.
Rita comes and puts her arm around your waist, posing together in front of the mirror with you.
"We look hot!"
The night is warm with the scent of the sea clinging in the air. You grab a drink before stepping out of the villa to prepare you for tonight.
"Looking gorgeous," Shane compliments as you meet him by the pool.
You take a moment to look and search for something you can compliment on him "I like the shirt," you say with a quick pull at the collar of his shirt.
"We're kind of matching, you see?"
You're wearing a white top with a black leather skirt while he wears blue jeans with a striped blue and white shirt, the similarities are almost nonexistent but hey, he's just trying to shoot his shot.
"Yeah, we kind of do," you say to him.
Let's see if Shane got game so you stop by the terrace to give him the chance to play.
"Have you ever dated an English guy?" He asks out of the blue.
A bit too strong for an opener but okay, "Nah," you answer.
He takes a step closer, then asks, "Never?"
You look him in the eyes to see if he would flinch, "Yeah."
He coyly sips his drink to stall and continues talking after, "Would you like to?"
A solid 7 out of 10, could be better. You laugh it off and let him die to know the answer.
"You know everyone is attracted to you, right?"
"No, not everyone, I believe," you play humble like how good girls play.
Shane takes another step closer and leans the side of his body against the pillar, "This is good. We should talk more," he says with a flirty smile.
"Well, I'm open to getting to know everyone," you tell him, making sure that you mean it generally, not specifically with him.
Shane runs his hand through his hair, sending it disheveled, even so, it makes him look attractive.
"I think you went in with Changbin so quick," Shane comments.
You nod and admit that it's true, "Yeah."
He then slyly smiles at you, "So, you know—"
Before you can finish listening to Shane talking, someone has his arms around you and without warning, carrying you with him.
Thankfully, you manage to not spill the drink you're holding once Changbin puts you down. He pats the small space left on the small sofa facing the sea view.
You sit with your legs hanging between his and his arm around you, this way you can put your full focus on him. You like seeing the glints in his brown eyes and your eyes flick to his small mouth with its pair of plush lips, looking so inviting as he licks them after taking a sip of your drink.
"What were you talking about?"
Changbin tries to sound cool about this but you sense a hint of jealousy in his words.
"Talking about you, actually," you honestly tell him.
"Yeah?"
He's wearing this tight white top that showcases his sculpted muscles and makes you unconsciously roam your hand on his clothed body.
You lose track of the conversation and innocently mutter, "You're so big..."
Changbin smiles at your words, looking thoroughly happy to hear them, and wants to hear more of it.
"What about it?"
You use your fingers to play with the opening of his top, teasing the skin there, "I like that you're big," you shamelessly admit.
It's impressive how he doesn't flinch as you stare him dead in the eyes. He remains calm with his hand playing with the thin strap of your top.
"Mmh?"
You lean in close and lower your voice as you say, "Makes me wonder if you're big somewhere else too."
Men like it when you're being straightforward like that and it seems to work on Changbin too.
-
YOU: He is so hot. It's going to be really hard to keep my hands to myself.
-
Everyone else can look as much as they want but they can only dream of getting it on with you.
Changbin feels like he won big to have you sitting close to him, looking damn attractive in your leather skirt and you're deeply staring into his eyes and your legs are slowly rubbing his inner thigh.
Oh, he knows what you're doing and he sure as hell knows that he's in trouble. The sexual chemistry is there and it's electrifying, awakening every cell in his body.
He looks away for a moment to take a grip on the situation and tries to restart a conversation. Then he looks at your face and how beautiful you are, your nose, your eyes... which reminds him to compliment them.
"You have beautiful eyes," he says.
You snort and put away your drink, "Your eyes are nowhere looking at my eyes," you point out.
That's right, he was looking at your lips when he said it, how they tantalize him.
You put your hand around his neck and gently massage the back of his head, "What are you thinking, mmh?"
There's no way of denying it so Changbin resorts to playing pensive, "Why don't you take a guess?
You're playing with the zipper on the front of his chest, "Uhm... food?" You wildly guess.
He laughs then nods, "That's a pretty good guess."
"No, wait," you take back your answer and take another guess, "it was tits."
You sure know how to amuse him and other than that, make him feel aroused with every little thing you do, including now, when you fix your hair from being blown by the wind.
Changbin has been thinking about it and knowing that someone has broken the rules making it easier for him to decide.
It's his turn to break the rules now but before that, he looks around, making sure the coast is clear, he sees that everyone else is gathered in the firepit.
Changbin looks back at you, then his hand reaches for your chin to bring your head close to his so he can kiss you. He likes how eager you are to receive his kiss and return it in such eagerness.
He holds you by the jaw, his thumb pulling at your lower lip to make you open your mouth for him so he can kiss you deeper, harder.
He wants to keep going and get drunk in your sweet, sweet kiss. He's tugging your lower lip between his teeth before pulling away.
Once he breaks the kiss, he looks at you at your parted mouth and your lips wet from the kisses, you're smiling when you open your eyes.
All of sudden, you throw your arms around him and mutter, "That was a good kiss."
He plants a kiss on your shoulder and another one on your neck, "I know."
You sit back on the sofa to get your drink and secretly look at where everyone is gathering, "Did they notice?" You ask him.
He throws his head back to look behind him and shakes his head, "I don't think so."
Breaking the rules is not as bad as he thought it would be, it was easy and strangely fun, he's sure it's coming from the rush of doing it without getting caught by anyone.
Changbin can only hope he doesn't get addicted to the rush.
-
CHANGBIN: So it happens, my first rule break. I knew it was wrong but I still wanted to do it so... [shrugs]
-
Despite the strong wind blowing your way, it doesn't help keeping you away from sweating.
You use the back of your hand to dab at the thin layer of sweat forming on your forehead but you feel like your make-up is fading away with the night.
Putting your empty glass away, you break away from Changbin's cuddle.
"Where are you going?" He asks.
You get up from the sofa and fix your skirt, "I'm going to fix my make-up quick," you answer.
He takes your hand, not letting you go, "You can do it later."
You smile at him, "I'll be quick," you say.
On the way to the dressing room, Rita joined you and it just happens that she seems to have the urge to tell you something.
"Now that Riley has given up on your man, she's going for Liam," Rita informs.
You sit on your chair and unzip your make-up pouch, "Really?"
Rita leans against the vanity table and crosses her arms in front of her, "So I was there with there with Liam then Riley joined in and she won't stop talking," she grumbles.
Riley does seem like the talkative type and you can imagine her butting in between Rita and Liam, talking non-stop.
"She keeps going on and on..." Rita complaints.
You feel bad for Rita but can't help but laugh. You gently powder your nose and make sure its
"Is Liam the only one or is there anyone else you fancy?" You ask out of curiosity, taking out a tube of lip gloss out of your pouch next.
Rita gets quiet and rolls her eyes as she thinks of an answer, "I was the first to call dibs on Liam," she innocently says.
You snicker because she makes it sound like it's a child's play, "What about Nico?"
"Nico? Hmm..." Rita has an adorable habit of pinching her cheek when she thinks.
You shift on your chair to look at her, "But you know, if you want to see how things go with Liam, then go for it," you suggest.
"I'm going to do that," she says while bobbing her head in agreement.
"Then get your cute butt there," You encourage her because you don't want her to overthink things when she should just do what she wants.
She squeals in response and takes a hairbrush from her table to fix her hair, "I believe Riley is still talking when I get there," she says with a dramatic eye roll.
As she turns around to leave, you land a gentle slap on her butt, "Go get your man!"
Now that Rita left the room, you can put on a fresh coat of lip gloss on your lips and take a quick look in the mirror only to find Changbin is checking you out in the doorway.
"You told me you'd be quick," he whines.
You laugh at how he's fussing like a toddler, "I was about to walk out—"
You get cut off as he comes crashing his body against yours, hugging you so tight with his hands feeling your clothed body.
It's obvious that he's horny. You hold him back and let him bury his head in your neck, "We're going back out there or stay here?"
Changbin doesn't say anything but looks at you, his eyes are looking at your lips and filled with so much want. You kind of have guessed that he would be coming back for more because honestly, one kiss is never enough.
"You can throw me onto the table if you want," you jokingly say with a flirty smile on.
With smoldering eyes and a smirk on his face, he lifts you by the waist to sit you on the table, that way he can be at the same eye level with you.
You loop your hands around his neck and pull him close, "And now we can kiss," you whisper with your face only inches away from him.
And just like that, he caves in and kisses you. This time his kiss has intensity to it and for a moment, you feel like he's devouring you whole which is turning you on.
Changbin slides his hand down your leg and lifts it, wrapping it around his waist to close the gap between your bodies.
His other hand is angling your head slightly to the side just so he can kiss deeper, skillfully using his tongue to make you feel the slightest bit lightheaded.
A moan slips out of your mouth as he squeezes the back of your thigh. You feel faint not only because it's one of the sensitive parts of your body but also because of how close his hand is to where you want him the most.
Then the sound of heels clicking against the floor shatters the tension in the room and the two of you abruptly stop kissing.
Your head turns in the direction of the doorway and see Sabine grinning at both of you.
"I caught you rulebreaking!" She says in a sing-song voice.
"Shit!" Changbin quietly mutters as he looks away from her.
Sabine walks to her closet, "Don't worry. I won't tell anyone!" She says while switching the shoes she's wearing with sandals.
After she leaves the room, Changbin pulls you into a hug and nuzzles his head in your neck.
You jokingly pull his head close, "Okay, now, come back."
He breaks into laughter and kisses you on the cheek to compensate for not being able to give you what you want.
It's already hard to get him to rulebreak and it would take a long time for him to fall into the temptations again.
-
YOU: [Snickers] I don't know what's wrong with us. I don't know why we're doing it again [laughs]
-
Changbin jumps onto his bed, feeling so tired but inside, he's feeling euphoric.
"What's going on, big boy?" Nico asks from the next bed.
Changbin pretends to look exhausted and stretches his arms out, "I didn't do much tonight," he lies.
He knows he can't be the only one breaking the rules tonight but it's safe for him to keep a calm expression to avoid suspicion.
When he looks at the boys, he notices the smugness on their faces and they probably can see it on him too. For now, he saves the worries about the money for tomorrow.
Changbin stops thinking altogether when you climb onto the bed, wearing a white tank top and tight shorts. If only he was alone with you... oh, he's scared to even try to imagine it.
You sit cross-legged on the bed facing him, looking so beautiful even with a bare face, "Isn't it hot to sleep with a t-shirt on?"
"You can just tell me if you want me to sleep naked," he says with a mischievous smile.
"You know, I always sleep naked," you share then sips water from your tumbler.
He puts his hand on your knee "Then why aren't you?"
You put on a daring glare at him, "Do you want me to? Cause I would," you say.
If there's anything he learned from being around for these past two days is that he shouldn't challenge you because, in the end, he'll end up losing to you.
When the lights are out, he puts his arm out so you can rest your head on it but instead of that, you overlap his body with yours.
"I'm not sleepy yet," you whisper into his ear.
"Anything you want to do?" He asks and regrets it the second after he says it. He shouldn't give you ideas or worse is letting himself open to your ideas.
"A lot," you answer with a hot kiss on his neck.
Changbin feels threatened as you start placing kisses around his face, his heart skips when you get too close to his lips but he sulks when you don't do it.
You have your hand slipped under his t-shirt, splaying it on his stomach and feeling his skin there. You lean in close, rubbing your nose against his and teasing his lips with the warm breath you let out of your parted mouth.
"Want to rule break again?" You ask with your thumb swiping his lower lip.
Oh, Changbin is being put in a predicament once again. You best believe that he wants to do and will do whatever it is you want because that's what he wants too.
However, he promised himself that he wouldn't do another rule break for the rest of the night.
He hates to say no to you so he tries to lay it as gently as he can so he softly caresses your head, then takes the hand holding his face to kiss the inside of your hand.
"That's enough of a rule break for today," he murmurs with an apologetic smile.
Even in the dark, he can see you softly smile at him and nod, "Okay."
It's not about the compliance, you can be a little wayward to him but Changbin likes that you know when to hold back. Yes, he takes pride in being dominant but that doesn't mean he can force you to do what he says, you are your own person after all.
You sweetly kiss him on the cheek and mutter, "Goodnight, Changbin."
He plants a kiss on your jaw in return and mutters back, "Goodnight, angel."
For someone who has known him for a couple of days, you understand him well and that says something.
-
CHANGBIN: A kiss with her is always too good but it's bad because it's making me hornier [chuckles]
-
The day starts with Lana's morning greeting.
For a second, you thought Lana was about to announce the rule breaks right after everyone woke up and that would be so cruel of her but you're glad she didn't.
Changbin nuzzles his nose against your neck before placing a soft kiss on your shoulder. You open your eyes and see him smiling at you.
"How was your sleep?" You croak, putting your hand under his t-shirt to feel the skin on his back.
He kisses you on the arm and softly sighs, "I got bit by mosquitoes last night."
"That was me. Sorry," you joke.
That amuses him so much, that he laughs with his head buried in your neck and playfully biting at your shoulder.
When he stops, you look at him and say, "I'm not sorry actually."
With freshly showered hair, you're doing your make-up with Rita while Niamh is also dressing the other part of the room. You look at Rita whose hair is flying around her head as she's drying it.
"So, how did it go?"
Rita turns off her hairdryer, "What?"
"With Liam last night?"
"I don't know. He's been very vague about it," Rita answers, sounding as confused as her answer.
You put down your eyebrow pencil and look at her, "He probably wants to keep his options open for—"
The melodic chime coming from the cone in the corner of the room interrupted you from talking and your heart starts to sink, knowing that you committed a couple of rule breaks yesterday.
"Hello, girls!" Lana greets.
Niamh pops her head from behind the room where everyone is using to change their clothes.
"Hey, Lana..." you answer with sheer enthusiasm.
"Please gather everyone in the cabana," she orders.
You exchange a horrified look with Rita and grimace at the horror looming over you the second you hear Lana's voice.
"Sure, babe," Rita is replying to her this time.
You know exactly what's going to happen in the cabana and it's none other than the time to get publicly shamed by a talking cone.
There's only one seat left on the small wooden sofa at one side of the room and you sit there, having no one there to help you calm down.
"Okay, guys, who kissed who?" Nico asks everyone.
Niamh couldn't be faster responding to it, "I didn't kiss anyone," she says.
"Me too," Rita says.
As if it would help take everyone's suspicion off you, you're avoiding their eyes and trying to act calm. You are calm until Sabine places her hand on your knee.
"Babe? Did you kiss?"
That's so sly of her to ask you that when she walked in on you and Changbin kissing in the dressing room. You scrunch your nose and decide to lie, "Nah, I didn't."
Sabine slyly smiles at your answer and lets it go as the cone chimes in the middle of the table.
-
YOU: I know for sure that Changbin and I kissed twice but I'm not saying a word. I'm hoping Lana didn't see [snorts]
-
"Hello, everyone!"
Changbin tries to remain calm but he can't quite control his body, his heart is racing and his palms are starting to sweat. He can only hope that he's putting on a good poker face.
"What's happening, Lana?" Shane asks from the other end of the sofa.
"You were brought here to form deeper emotional connections and were given rules to adhere to."
Lana is an artificial intelligence but Changbin can hear the displease in her voice and she sounds upset.
"This is tense," Nico says with a heavy sigh.
"Yeah..." Oliver says.
"Despite this, your flagrant disregard for the rules has resulted in a deduction of..."
Changbin knows he takes part in that deduction and he can feel the guilt starting to seep into his mind.
"$15,000."
Everyone collectively gasps at the announcement of how much money has been lost from the prize fund and it's only the third day now.
But this also means that he's not the only one screwed up last night.
"That's the most expensive 25 hours I've ever lived," Oliver says as if he didn't spend some of that money.
"You guys are blowing it," Niamh says with a disappointed look on her face, genuinely pissed at losing money.
"In total, there were five rule breaks," Lana informs.
"Five?" Nico says with a shocked face.
"Anyone want to admit to anything?" Rita says.
Changbin glances at you and he sees that you're also looking at him, exchanging unspoken words through the eyes.
Staying silent is not an option for him, he knows better that he has to own up to his mistakes.
"Changbin and I kissed last night," you get ahead of him.
He feels less nervous to talk now that those words are out, "Yeah, we kissed."
"We had a moment and it was perfect," you add, explaining the things that led to the kiss.
"Just one kiss?" Niamh asks.
It's like something caught in your throat and you abruptly stop talking, it's time for Changbin to take over.
"No, we uh... we kissed again in the dressing room," Changbin admits.
He's expecting shouting or yelling coming at him but they're quiet, he can only hear a few deep sighs.
"Well, there's three more we need to account for," Rita says, leaning back on the sofa and crossing her arms together.
"Sabine?" You call her name loud enough for everyone to hear even though she's sitting next to you.
"What?" Sabine plays dumb.
"We knew about your kiss at the beach," Rita says to her.
Niamh scoots forward on her seat and looks at Sabine, "Is that it?"
Sabine looks at Oliver and everyone knows right away they had more than one kiss.
"Yeah, okay, we kissed twice," Oliver finally confesses with an unapologetic grin on his face.
Oliver's confession is also greeted by more sighs and Changbin feels a lot better now that he's not the only one being scrutinized at the moment.
"One more to go now," Nico mutters, scanning everyone's faces to spot the guilty ones.
"Honesty is the best policy, you guys!" Niamh warns.
Everyone wouldn't let it go until the last culprit comes forward and Changbin just wants to get this over with.
A moment passed in silence until Riley pointed at someone, "I kissed Liam."
"Look at you sitting there all quiet," Changbin mutters at Liam who happens to sit two seats away from him.
Ironic that he was the one who warned everyone to speak out immediately when they messed up yet he's the last one to do it.
"I felt a little something for Riley so I don't regret it," Liam explains.
He notices that you're exchanging looks with Rita as she seems to be upset upon hearing what Liam uttered to everyone.
"The prize fund now stands at $185,000," Lana updates before signing off.
Changbin does the math in his head and is slightly shocked to find out how much he spent but at that moment, last night, the kisses felt worth more than that.
However, everything changes now after hearing how much it costs.
-
CHANGBIN: $15,000... that's a lot. I'm feeling guilty now.
-
When Changbin hears that there's going to be a workshop, he hopes it's something that will help him control his urges.
The moment he gets told that he has to pair up with you, he doubts that it would help him much.
"Hello, I'm Billy," The instructor introduces himself, "I'm a sex expert."
"Whoo!" Oliver excitedly reacts.
"How are you all doing?" Billy asks.
"Good!" Everyone answers in unison, sitting on their respective mats for the workshop.
"Today's workshop is about ways you can connect with somebody without sex," Billy announces the lesson for the workshop.
"Breath is a huge thing so when you feel sexual tension, step away and go do your breathing, it'll help you profoundly."
Changbin feels skeptical at first but he knows now that it's possible to keep his impulses in control.
Billy then turns over a picture showing a cuddling position and everyone should do it with their partner. You crawl over to him and sit cross-legged on the space between his legs.
It takes him a moment to study the picture, he puts his arms around you and you intertwine them together in front of you.
"Hand over your heart," Billy reminds him.
He places his clasped hand on your heart and he accidentally brushes your breast in the process.
You lowly giggle in response and look over your shoulder at him, "Over my heart, not my tits."
He presses his mouth close to your ear, "It happens that your tit is close to your heart," he playfully replies.
"Breathe..." Billy instructed as he's he's pacing back and forth observing everyone, "Connect with them on a deeper level."
Changbin does what he said and closes his eyes, breathing in and out, eventually syncing your breathing together. It feels nice, he feels relaxed.
Billy walks up to Sabine and Oliver, "How do you feel in that position?"
"Damn good," Oliver shamelessly answers, making Sabine laughs in embarrassment.
Billy walks back to the front and flips a new picture on the easel, "It's going to get a little bit intimate..."
He then reveals the next position for everyone to see, he's grinning as he says, "I think you guys can handle it."
Changbin applies the lesson right away, inhaling air and exhaling it as he sits on the mat.
Okay, it's getting hard to try not to think about sex when you're sitting on his lap and your legs wrapped around his waist.
"Don't I look good on top of you?" You ask with a sly smile on your face.
He takes a deep breath and puts his hands on each side of your waist, "Yeah," he answers, can't stop his brain from imagining it.
It doesn't get any easier with the way you're looking deep into his eyes and Changbin reckons he should look away.
He pulls you close and rests his head against your chest, listening to your steady heartbeat helping him to calm down.
"How are you guys doing?" Billy asks him.
"We're doing good," you answer for both of you.
After he leaves, you look back at him and put your hands around his neck, "Good, right?"
Changbin bets that you know how good it is for him as you sit right on his crotch. The sexual tension is getting unbearable and breathing doesn't help him as much as it did before.
Thankfully, Billy ends the workshop before it gets dangerous.
"Thank you, all of you beautiful people and I appreciate you for being present with me," he concludes.
Everyone is giving him a round of applause as a token of gratitude for his lesson.
-
CHANGBIN: It's clear that we have a strong sexual chemistry but I also sense that there's something genuine there.
-
It's unclear whether Changbin is up to doing something naughty tonight.
Nevertheless, you're putting on a tight dress and a luscious coat of lipstick, you know he can't resist you when you look this good.
Changbin is talking to Nico when you come and put his arm around you, wanting to get his attention. Successfully having him for yourself, you corner him and take him to sit together on the lounger.
"You look good tonight," you compliment, feeling his pecs through his black shirt.
He reacts with a mix of shy and cocky smiles, you don't know how he does that but it looks good on him.
You bring your mouth close to his ear and murmur, "You look so delicious."
Changbin is oddly quiet tonight and you guess you just need to warm him up, showering him with compliments and talking about random things.
"I only noticed it now that you have a dimple," you say.
Changbin smiles again for you to showcase it and you use your finger to poke the dimple on his cheek.
"Your cheek is squishy too," you playfully poking at it while giggling.
"I think my right cheek is more squishy," he disagrees with you, poking his other cheek with his index finger.
He looks so cute doing it and out of nowhere, you feel like biting at his cheek and doing it.
"Why did you do that?"
"Nom nom nom nom," you tease him instead of answering.
Changbin pulls you close and gently bites at your arm to get back at you, sending you laughing uncontrollably.
Now that he's warming up and relaxed, it's time to find out if he plans to do something about the night. You rest your hand on his chest, fiddling with the button of his shirt as you talk.
"What are we going to do tonight, mmh?"
He only smiles at you with his hand caressing your back.
You press your head close to his and lower your voice as you say, "How about you finger me in secret?"
He bursts into laughter and pulls you closer, holding you with his arms around you, but it feels more like he's trying to restrain you.
"We're going to be good tonight," he tells you.
The message is well-received.
You fully understand if he doesn't want to rulebreak tonight and you're alright with it, you don't want to pressure him to do something he doesn't want.
You press a kiss on his cheek and then rest your head on his chest, "Yeah, sure, we can be good."
Also, perhaps he needs a little breather too.
-
YOU: He doesn't want to rulebreak tonight but who knows about tomorrow? [Raises eyebrow]
-
Just like Billy said, Changbin get away and do his breathing as the sexual tension is only rising when he's with you.
Most of everyone is gathering in the cabana so he goes there, trying to get his mind distracted by talking to other people than you.
Nico is sipping his drink and silently watching Sabine and Oliver canoodling by the firepit.
"I don't know if Sabine were like flirty with anybody but I kind of want to make Ollie cry," he says to him.
Changbin feels like getting another drink but he stays seated for the drama.
"Do it, man!" He encourages him.
The next thing he knows, the night is getting late and it's time to turn in for the night.
He manages to not rule break today as he planned but it doesn't feel like an achievement at all, if anything, he feels like shit for saying no to kissing you. Now, he has the image of your eyes dimmed when he told you he doesn't want to rulebreak tonight replaying in the back of his head.
It's not dramatic of him to feel ecstatic to see you get on the bed, he barely saw you after you both cuddled on the lounger earlier.
"Where have you been, baby?" He asks you.
You dive right into his arms and rest your head on his chest, "Talking with Rita," you mumble your answer.
He notices that you sound exhausted, "Tired?"
You turn your head to look at him and nod.
The moment the lights turn off, you get off of him to sleep on your side of the bed.
"Goodnight, fam!" Liam says to everyone in the dark.
"Night," a few replying to him.
Changbin doesn't want to assume things but he's scared that the reason why you feel a little distant is because he said no to rulebreak with you.
Then you're shifting on the bed and he sees you trying to take your top off under the duvet, you notice him watching.
"It's hot," you mutter at him, putting your top on the bedside table before laying on your side with your back facing him.
And he can see what you're trying to do to him.
Changbin scoots closer until his chest meets your back, he then traces the curve of your body with his hand, only using his fingertips to touch you.
He feels nothing but miles and miles of silky soft skin.
"Are you ticklish?" He asks, dropping his voice low and sultry.
"No," you answer.
That only encourages him to touch you more, exploring your body while trying to avoid it becoming something sexual. He presses his mouth on the back of your shoulder and softly inhales your scent while his hand caresses your abdomen with his knuckle.
With the way your body slightly shaking, he knows you're holding in your laughter.
"Tickles, mmh?"
"Not really."
Changbin lowers his hand down your waist and keeps going until his hand lands on the softness of the back of your thigh, caressing it with his knuckle.
"How about now?"
You shake your head.
He has no other option but to squeeze the flesh and you jolt on the bed. You take his hand out of the duvet and turn your head to scold him.
Before you can do that, he captures your lips in his. He knows he catches you off guard but you manage to return his kiss.
Changbin pulls away to have you pinned under him before leaning in and kissing you again. You moan as he puts his whole weight on you, sending your breasts squashed between your chests.
He's aware that everyone else in the room can see it but something about doing it in secret makes it inexplicably kinky.
-
CHANGBIN: If I'm being honest... I want to eat her all up [smirks]
-
Another day means another session of listening to a talking cone.
Changbin is prepared to face everyone when he comes clean about what he's done with you last night. It's the only rule break he did yesterday and he knows it's not progress but he feels good knowing that he showed a little more restraint than the last time.
Other than that, he's sitting next to you now so he feels reassured, knowing that you have his back.
The cone chimes at the same time he takes your hand and holds it.
"Hello, everyone!"
Everyone gets tensed as soon as Lana talks even though she hasn't said anything but her usual greeting.
"What's up, babes?" Rita replies to her, sounding chipper than usual.
"The rules of my retreat have been broken," She announces.
Here it goes, Changbin says in his head. He takes a deep breath and squeezes at your hand.
"Is there anybody who wants to come clean?"
Changbin clears his throat before speaking, "I want everyone to know that it was me who started it," he begins, taking full responsibility for what he's done.
"It was me, I kissed her last night."
His confession is yet again getting answered by low groans and sighs, he understands that he let them down but... oh, well.
"The kiss has cost the group $3,000."
There goes another $3,000 down the drain and Changbin admits he did wrong for making the same mistake.
"Anyone else wants to fess up?" Niamh asks.
The grin on Oliver's face is unmissable and that means he did something, most likely a bad thing.
"Did you two kiss again?" Liam asks him, pressuring them to talk with laser in his eyes.
Oliver rubs his chin while Sabine can only look at him, waiting for him to speak for both of them. He deeply sighs, then nods, "Yeah, we did."
"Just once?"
Oliver nods again, "Just once, I swear."
Lana confirms by announcing another $3,000 has been deducted from the prize fund.
Changbin feels a lot lighter now after telling the truth and accepting the truth that a chunk of money is gone because of him but it's too early for him to let out a sigh of relief yet.
"They were not the only ones to break the rules," Lana informs.
"My God?" Sabine scoffs.
Changbin is on the hunt for the culprit, he scans for any guilty faces sitting on the sofa and not realizing that you've been fidgeting next to him.
He turns his head at you and wonders if...
You uneasily look at him, then say, "It was me."
-
CHANGBIN: What the fuck is going on?
-
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New to ATEEZ, but I’ve decided to try an astrological chart reading anyway. Happy to announce that Hongjoong and his chart are wonderfully complicated.
✦ Disclaimer
I do not know him personally, no harm intended, others may interpret differently. I’ve been studying astrology for six years, and I take this seriously and try my best. Feel free to ask any questions you have!
✦ Note
I will not be discussing parents, family, or earlier life to preserve some privacy. This is not a full chart reading, just some highlights I found to be fascinating. He should contact me, I have questions I want answered.
✦ Overview
Before everything else, so many placements and aspects in his chart scream the need to consistently transform his sense of self—Sun in Scorpio in 9H, Midheaven in Scorpio, Uranus in Aquarius in 1H, Neptune conjunct Ascendant, Mercury conjunct Pluto, Mars in Virgo in 8H. Whoever he was a year ago is not necessarily who he is today. He loves to see how he has improved himself over time because he is obsessed with bettering himself. There’s a battle of dark and light, black and white, trying to remain open-minded while sticking to his instinctual duality.
Another large portion of his chart is concerned with distrust of authority and the craving of freedom. Sun in 9H, Uranus in 1H, Saturn in Aries—he wants control. It’s a sore spot. But he’s also really good at getting these authority figures to like him? That Venus, man…
This is very much an artist’s chart, and I can’t see him doing anything not involved with creativity. Sun conjunct Venus, Venus conjunct MC, Venus quintile Neptune, Saturn square Neptune, Moon in 5H, Uranus in 1H—all of these are creative and artistic. He needs to put his whole heart into what he loves or he’ll be miserable. Creativity is his emotional outlet.
He’s an intense person. He sort of won the jackpot when it comes to a lot of placements great for idols and creatives in general.
✦ Neptune conjunct Ascendant in Capricorn (First House)
Ironically, he is whoever you want him to be. Idols and celebrities in general with Neptune aspecting the Ascendant do very well in the limelight because they’re able to adapt themselves to whoever is around them at any given time. One great way to look at it is that Neptune rules over mirrors, so his identity reflects like a mirror whoever he needs to be at that time. Wonderful for actors and idols. Another idol with this aspect is Soyeon from (G)I-DLE, except she’s a Virgo Sun.
His sense of self is fluid. He’s able to read the room and act accordingly without thinking much about it, or perhaps even overthinking it and worrying about it. He’s aware of others’ emotions and “vibes” if you will. Not that he’s necessarily good at handling them (Gemini Moon, Capricorn Neptune), but if someone is upset, he knows it.
He’s sensitive and emotional…but this is in Capricorn, the great suppressor of everything. Keep that shit on lockdown. All the mutable signs… He is running from that! We’ll get to that in a bit. He’s INFP, right? He doesn’t feel in a “your emotions are my emotions” way (um, Seonghwa Cancer Moon in 12H), his way is very…difficult to quantify, almost sideways or backwards to others. Makes sense to him, though!
Capricorn Neptune quintile Scorpio Midheaven
About a year ago, I went on a deep dive into quintiles and discovered their usefulness—specifically in that they describe an innate talent for something. This is something inherently within the person that they don’t necessarily notice about themself except through thorough introspection. It forms connections and has a deeply human quality to it. It is, at its most basic form, pure joy and creativity, like Leo. With Neptune ruling over everything from deception to transcendence to lack of boundaries to enchantment… Oh, yeah, she’s a mystical planet, but it’s not all terrifying. The way I would interpret it is that he is innately talented in projecting a certain persona to maintain his outward image. Inside could be turmoil, outside looks fine and dandy, or vice versa. Like I said, he is who you want him to be in that moment. Unlike someone with Sun in 12H, he does have a firm sense of his identity. But it is always in flux. Does this make sense?
✦ Uranus in Aquarius (First House)
Now here is where we start seeing the cravings of freedom and a continuation of the constant shifting of the self. Uranus is the drastic revolutionary of the planets, changing at the drop of a hat, and having it in 1H makes for an eccentric person who doesn’t want to conform to others’ or society’s expectations. Again, contradictions because all that Capricorn Ascendant wants to do is conform. He will do whatever the fuck he wants. He’s not chill about it. Just let him do his thing. He’ll figure out a way to do it anyway because he’s so fucking stubborn.
Having this, along with his Sun conjunct MC, is a great quality for a leader. He would not do well if someone else was in charge of this group.
Trying to figure out the best way to describe this placement, and I guess you could say… He feels like there is no one like him…
Scorpio Sun square Aquarius Uranus
A lot like Uranus in 1H, an overall strange and unique personality and not afraid to do his own thing. The square makes this somewhat difficult because it’s a challenging aspect after all, so it becomes that desire to rebel/desire to conform once again, fluctuating between the two at odd moments. Touchy—not physically but temperamental and anxious. I guess you could associate this aspect with that of the mad genius trope, determined that they are right with their innovations too grand for current society. He doesn’t like to be compared to others. Extremely willful and stubborn. He’s lucky he has a lot of mutable signs, otherwise he would be more overbearing and wouldn’t “go with the flow” as easily. That being said, he will still resist and find his own way to do things if he really doesn’t want to do them.
Scorpio Venus square Aquarius Uranus
He runs hot and cold with people, very either/or, and I would say that someone else in the group who acts a lot like this would be Seonghwa(!), who has Venus in Aquarius in 8H. One day he’s your best friend, then he won’t talk to you for three weeks, then he’ll come back and act like nothing has changed. Values his freedom in his relationships with others. He’s very attached to those he considers himself close with (Scorpio Venus, Descendant in Cancer), but he still needs his space to do his own thing. Deeply afraid of rejection and will appear aloof or unreachable emotionally because of this. Unconventionality, beauty in the diverse, unique sense of style.
✦ Jupiter Rx in Pisces (Second House)
Once again with the eccentricities… Jupiter is domicile in Pisces, meaning it operates best there, but the retrograde gives it an introspective twist. Everything has value to him. Truly just seeking deeper meaning than what lies on this mortal plane. He would be so fun to have a philosophical conversation with because he would take it so seriously and yet be very silly about it. Very inspirational, likes to give and receive what he considers worthy, such as love. Bit backwards in showing his affections, but it’s important to him.
Virgo Mars opposite Pisces Jupiter Rx
One of my books describes this as a Holy Crusader, fighting for a belief or against one; I personally describe Mars-Jupiter contacts as obsessive overachievers. Completely enamored with whatever he deems is his for the time. There is a need to go out and do everything, to continue to heap on to his pile of tasks, consistently adding more and more, and if there’s nothing or no one stopping him, he won’t stop.
The Virgo-Pisces opposition is incredibly fascinating because this adds an innately sacrificial component to him, the serviceable and boundary-setting Virgo combined with the compassion and boundary-dissolving of Pisces ends up creating the perfectionistic martyr of sorts. If it’s not perfect, it’s not seeing the light of day.
Side note: Lots of Mars-Jupiter hard aspect energy in ATEEZ. We have some fighters here. Calm down. Hongjoong has Virgo Mars opposite Pisces Jupiter, Yeosang has Libra Mars opposite Aries Jupiter, San has Scorpio Mars opposite Taurus Jupiter, Wooyoung has Capricorn Mars square Aries Jupiter, Jongho has Virgo Mars square Gemini Jupiter.
Seonghwa has Mars conjunct Saturn in Aries, Mingi has Scorpio Mars opposite Taurus Saturn, Yunho has the same aspect as Mingi but as a very weak opposition (10° orb). Saturn the constrictor is sort of the contrast to Jupiter the exacerbator.
It’s fascinating to see these dynamics at play. They’re all extremely hard workers, and their charts show that.
✦ Saturn Rx in Aries (Third House)
This is his chart ruler, the most important planet in his chart besides Sun and Moon. Saturn is called the greater malefic because of its rulership over authority and control, and when placed in the third house of communication, it can manifest as someone who is afraid to communicate or rather lacks the capabilities to communicate effectively. The fact that it’s in Aries (in fall), and 29° (itchy and unstable), and retrograde… Sorry to this man. He’s not a small talker. And he says the wrong thing at the wrong time and has to live with the mortifying concept of being known. Really dry and direct sense of humor. He is just…awkward. 😭 That’s okay! His Sagittarius Mercury both emphasizes and contradicts this. He’ll say a lot of things, but not necessarily say what he truly feels unless he’s poked and prodded enough.
Aries Saturn Rx square Capricorn Neptune
This aspect is really good for fighting (square) to create the ideal (Neptune) into reality (Saturn). It also deals with guilt and fears, especially the fear of losing control. A materialist with karmic guilt that he absolves by creating and dissipating it to the collective. For instance, a writer or musician.
✦ Moon in Gemini (Fifth House)
Long story short, Gemini is a mutable air sign, and a lot of astrologers can interpret air sign Moons as unemotional. WRONG. He is a very passionate and emotional and thoughtful person; he processes his emotions differently and likes to put them into words and rationalize them. Meanwhile, Saturn in 3H that affects his ability to communicate effectively exists. Moon sextile Saturn, which impacts this further. Do you see the vision here? I do think he tries his best, but sometimes it just doesn’t work out the way he wants it to, and he has to figure out a different way of doing things.
If there’s one thing mutable signs love to do, it is avoid. He has five mutable planets in his chart (Gemini Moon, Sagittarius Mercury, Virgo Mars, Pisces Jupiter, Sagittarius Pluto), which is half of the planets, so you can see why avoiding can be a major issue here. Luckily he’s a Capricorn Ascendant, reliable and steady, and he has enough passion and drive to keep him going due to his Mars placement and the massive amount of Scorpio influence.
Gemini Moons are everywhere at once…petty and playful and curious. You know the drink dispensers at fast food places and there’s that one person who will hit every flavor to get a chaotic blend of every drink that tastes the absolute worst because Hi-C and Coca-Cola were not meant to be mixed together? Ask him a weird fact he’s learned recently, I’m sure he’ll have at least five on hand. Great at mimicking others, if not literally mimicking then through trying to become others, like idolizing an older sibling. Shoutout to Yunho and San, the other two Gemini Moons in ATEEZ. Seonghwa, Yeosang, Mingi, and Wooyoung are all Cancer Moons. Jongho is either Pisces or Aries, likely the latter.
Gemini Moon square Virgo Mars, square Pisces Jupiter Rx + Mars-Jupiter opposition
This is what astrologers call a T-square (because it looks like a T, two squares connected by an opposition), fueled by activity and acting before thinking. The planets locked in this (Moon, Mars, Jupiter) are also extremely active. Mars is drive, aggression, action, impulse, the need to do rather than sit idle. This is a very volatile aspect, very quick to respond to any sort of perceived attack and sensitive to conflict. Moon and Mars are in signs ruled by Mercury, there’s so much rationalizing going on here, so he’s likely overthinking every little aspect. “Act first, think later” planets in “think fast” signs. Jupiter is aspected to these two as well, so it’s exacerbated. Ah… Overwhelmed… The apex planet is the Gemini Moon in 5H—turn to creativity to let those deep-seated feelings loose.
Moon square Mars indicates lots of coming and going in his home life, nothing’s ever really stable—ironic considering all that IC in Taurus wants is stability. Moon square Jupiter can be extreme, emotionally fighting on behalf of his beliefs. Defensive over those he cares about. He can make fun of his friends, but you as an outsider can’t.
Gemini Moon sextile Aries Saturn Rx
Security and long-term goals (Moon and Saturn) meet in active and short-term signs (Aries and Gemini). Dependable, reliable, direct, loyal. This is a fairly serious aspect, but the Aries and Gemini make it more playful and full of banter. He will keep his promises…the Sagittarius Mercury might make them a bit later than you anticipated, though. I think that this aspect calms down a fair amount of the Moon-Jupiter aspect, makes him more chill.
His Moon is important in his chart, really brings together who he is. He has planets in Houses 1, 5, and 9—associated with the fire signs of Aries, Leo, Sagittarius, these bring passion and spirit to everything he does. His sense of self (1H) influences his creativity (5H) which in turn influences other people through his visions (9H). Fantastic for an entertainer.
✦ Mars in Virgo (Eighth House)
This placement is part of why his stage presence is like that. You know what I mean.
Eighth house, as well as its associates Scorpio and Pluto, tends to scare or intimidate people because it rules over everything from death, rebirth, and surgery to taxes, legacies, inheritances, and anything hidden or taboo. At its core, 8H rules over base instincts, the primal drive within us all. Whatever is buried will eventually surface, sometimes in explosive or drastic ways if not channeled into constructive outlets. This house also symbolizes “that which is shared”—the opposite of 2H, which is what you alone possess. It’s the give and the take, the you and I merging to become we. 7H is initial one on one interactions, and 8H adds depth to these relationships.
Unfortunately, the fact that Mars is in Virgo exacerbates his nitpicky and perfectionistic tendencies, and he’s hypercritical of others (and himself!) if they don’t meet his unachievable standards. “You need to do it this specific way.” And he will do it over and over and over again until it’s right. If he can’t figure it out one way, he will approach it from another way and see if that works instead because he won’t give up and he won’t give anything less than his best.
His desire is to control and to destroy to create something new. In the overview, I mentioned the need to transform himself, but it’s likely he pushes these ideals of transformation onto others as well—”I can be better than I am now, and you could be better than you are now. Let’s do it together.” Mastery over the self.
Sun, Venus, Midheaven conjunction
✦ Sun in Scorpio (Ninth House)
The best way to describe any Sun placement in this house is that “life is best viewed as a journey”—it’s about the experience rather than the end result. People with this placement are also the wise counsel and advice givers, however they never follow their own advice. Always seeking, always striving, always attempting to be something more. And this is in Scorpio, the transformer and regenerator. Scorpio gets a bad rep for reasons associated in the Mars section (Scorpio-Pluto-8H connection); he’s simply not afraid to seek out his own vision of the truth, whatever that may be. Intense, loyal, deep.
✦ Venus in Scorpio (Ninth House)
Love is something all-encompassing… He has strong morals and ideals and a good sense of judgment. Especially since his 9H starts in Libra! This placement appreciates the diversity of life and all the adventure it can bring, including the parts others would love to bury. He keeps the peace—until it needs to be reformed.
Once someone breaks through the billion walls he has in place to protect himself, he will keep you. Unless you betray him, which is the ultimate offense. Scorpio Venus people find it so difficult to trust others, and when betrayed, you are done for.
He can get along with anyone as long as you let him be his authentic self. If you try to change him against his will, he’ll lock up and shut you out, but you have to accept whatever changes he goes through.
Some other idols with Scorpio Venus placements are SHINee’s Minho (unknown house with Sagittarius Sun) and Stray Kids’ Bang Chan (sixth house with Libra Sun). All very devoted people.
✦ Sun-Venus conjunction
Sun and Venus together creates a person who wants to love and be loved, somewhat materialistic, concerned with their relationships to others, concerned with value and worth. “Am I good enough? I must be good enough.” I think this is where his light/dark battle really struggles because he has so much raw intensity inside of him, but this conjunction makes it difficult for him to confront anything too harsh, and he would rather not show himself in an unpleasant light.
✦ Midheaven conjunction
If the IC is where you come from, the MC or Midheaven is where you are going. It’s often used to interpret someone’s career path as well as how they are perceived by the outer community. Having Sun and Venus altogether here in Scorpio is deeply ambitious and persistent, and he wants to be known for something, for being himself (Sun) or for being fashionable in some regard (Venus). This is indicative of great success in life and receiving massive amounts of love. Sun conjunct MC is indicative of a leader in his field while Venus conjunct MC is indicative of the peacemaker, public popularity, the charmer over the voice of authority. However, this is Scorpio. It’s obsession and power. He will fight to get what he wants. It’s not a steady road or an easy road, but one he’s willing to face.
✦ Mercury conjunct Pluto in Sagittarius (Tenth House)
To put it simply, words are power. No one can keep a secret from him because this, along with his Mars in 8H, make him able to dredge up any secrets. Good luck hiding fan spaces from him. He likely sees everything. Very persistent.
He’s extremely motivated and driven to achieve his goals, career-oriented, intellect (Mercury) and instinct (Pluto) aligned in higher meaning (Sagittarius) and social status (10H). I honestly don’t know if he’s ever talked about when he decided to become an idol? Once he decided his career path, it’s likely he went all in and used his practical skills to achieve his dreams. (Though with Pluto here, he could end up switching his vocation someday, complete reversal.) His career needs meaning. He likes to be seen as intelligent and reliable. And he is! He is just also doing fifty million things at once.
✦ Words of advice to him
You are not who you were yesterday, and that’s okay. It’s also okay to let others in and ask for help because you have North Node in 7H—super easy to fall back on emotional distance and selfish behaviors when what you need to excel in life is tapping into your qualities of living life to the fullest surrounded by those whose company you enjoy most. It’s okay to doubt and to destroy and to resurrect something from the ashes. And it’s okay to be yourself because no matter who you are, love will find you.
Thank you for reading if you’ve made it this far! I will say it was hilarious to read his chart because I have an incredibly similar chart to him… I’m talking all planets in the same signs except Sun and Jupiter. Anyway. Hope you enjoyed. :)
Cross-posted on Twitter.
#ateez#에이티즈#hongjoong#홍중#astrology#chart reading#kpop astrology#quintiles#sun conjunct midheaven#venus conjunct midheaven#mars opposite jupiter#sun square uranus#venus square uranus#idk lots of aspects you know the drill
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Hello! I wanted to let you know how amazing your fic is, it seems my life now revolves around Friday mornings. I think it may be one of my favorite series ever, not just fics, your stuff is better than most published works I have read. I really could go on and on. Suffice to say, thank you x1 million for just putting this out there for us.
I had a couple curiosities! Is it ever hard to restrain yourself and just post 1 time per week? Or is that necessary for your creative process?
Also, your fic is rapidly growing in popularity, do you ever get worried about how that might change your audience?
Thank you again for the amazing thing you've written, I feel super lucky to be reading it in real time because I know this is going to be one of those legendary classics.
Thank you so much! You're wonderfully kind, I really appreciate it, and I hope I can live up to your expectations!
Weekly posting: Posting once a week is actually something I started for my own sanity — posting it regularly/serially is better for audience response, so there's a natural incentive to do it, but it also gives me more time to write ahead. And having all of a book prewritten in advance is really important for me creatively, not only so as to avoid the possibility of cliffhangers, but also to feel immune from the pressure to change the story based on what audiences want.
Growing audiences: Oof, it's been wild. I've been sort of boggled by the response to my little fic; it was entirely unexpected and the most I can do is work hard to deserve it. For the most part, an increasing audience has been a wonderful, wonderful thing, and I've been so grateful for everyone who's been offering support and praise. I'm seriously insanely lucky. My only point of frustration is that, in general, as a fic grows, readers seem to perceive increasing distance between themselves and the author. For instance, people in my comments have increasingly started to address each other instead of me, or have left comments seemingly without the expectation that I'll read them. But when someone comments on the fic, they're still sending that message directly to the author, and I think that some people might... well, they either don't know that, or they don't care. Like, the audience/author distance might be greater than it is for a fic with only 300 hits, but it's not like I'm a showrunner, or some other media production bigwig who'll probably never see 99% of the feedback generated by fans; it's still my pet project that I read basically every scrap of feedback for.
And sometimes (rarely — most of my comments are just so wonderful, and I don't want to sound ungrateful, but) people do say weird or unnecessary things. One comment for the last chapter read, "if krum dies im gonna drop this fic ngl," and that just irritated the hell out of me. Like, if that's your opinion, cool. Your reading habits are none of my business, and I sincerely encourage everyone who needs to take a break from Lionheart — or, hell, even loses interest — to go find something that sparks joy instead. Reading fic should bring you pleasure. No hard feelings, swear to God.
But my frustration with that comment, in particular, was: you do realize that you've sent that message directly to my inbox, right? You realize that was the first thing I read when I opened my comments section after a long afternoon of writing? Someone directly informing me, the author, that a narrative decision (which, either way, I already made about 4-5 months ago) will lose me a reader? And how does this person expect me to react? "Oh, no! I have to go back and rewrite 90,000 words of the story — God forbid I lose you, Single AO3 User Who Left No Other Comments! How can I live with myself if you're not here??"
It's just a bit frustrating. And, to the point — I say this politely, with respect — but if you seriously can't handle seeing characters die, then maybe don't read the fanfiction that's rewriting a series where very many characters die. Just a thought.
#someone left a similar comment after I posted Chapter 30#which just made me roll my eyes#these clowns act like they're the author's personal muse#'unfortunately i am no longer enjoying your fic and i must stop reading' ok? have you mistaken me for your book club president?#anyway. thank you for a kind ask sorry it got salty at the end
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Title: Open Water
Author: Caleb Azumah Nelson
Publication Year: 2021
Publisher: Black Cat
Genre: fiction
It’s one thing to be looked at, and another to be seen.
Open Water was a beautiful homage to Black love, Black tenderness, and Black art. Azumah Nelson’s prose was just stunning and dreamlike, especially how he captures the intimacy that comes with falling in love. So much of it came down to the little details that one notices about their beloved that I thought was so beautifully captured. I think what made this novel all the more intimate was a result of it being written in second person, positioning the reader to really experience how the narrator feels, the sensation that comes with being seen with such care and tenderness by a lover.
This novel is also a celebration of Black art. Azumah Nelson wonderfully weaves into his story the works of Black creatives including but not limited to James Baldwin, Barry Jenkins, Kelsey Lu, and more. In many ways, I felt the choice to make the main characters of this novel be artists themselves was a subtle yet powerful way for Azumah Nelson to show how Black artists continue the tradition to shape the beauty of Blackness.
Open Water explored other themes as well, such as Black masculinity and being Black in the United Kingdom. I did feel that these were a little too subtly addressed, perhaps a result of the novel’s primary focus being on a relationship. I think a part of me wanted this novel to be a little longer, as a result, to see how Azumah Nelson could have gone more in depth with these themes. I also wish the characters were a little more developed, just to see a clearer progress in the story.
I will say that Azumah Nelson has a distinct writing style that will work for some readers, while others may find it incredibly off-putting, whether it be because of the second-person narrative or the admittedly very purple prose (or perhaps both). I think convincing second-person narratives are quite difficult to write, but I thought Azumah Nelson handled it really well to fit the story he wanted to tell. I also really appreciated the prose (even if it did, at times, get a little too lyrical), and I could see how he was heavily influenced by other Black writers.
This was a really powerful debut novel, and I really look forward to reading more of Azumah Nelson’s writings in the near future.
Content Warning: grief, death, racism, police brutality
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more of wes' dnf fic recs <3
alright you guys even though no one asked for it here are more of my dnf fic recs :] (pls be aware of readings and tags and remember that I am an adult so read at ur own risk lol) I'll put a 💌 emoji next to the fics that have some graphic/mature content!
"the spaces between words" by effervescentwolf 💌
George ever so slowly allows himself to be completely and utterly in love with Dream.
this has been one of my FAVS recently yall. Dream is just such a whipped sweetheart and is so patient with George. there's nothing more that I love than an unspoken understanding that sometimes verbalizing emotions is hard for people, but that doesn't mean they aren't there :) Affection is A++ here, so much fluff (read tags tho!)
"a brief inquiry into (real) relationships" by quarzfia
Or, Dream's misreads an invite to a wedding, and now has to fake a relationship with the boy he's fallen head over heels for.
look, I know we've all read our fair shares of fake relationship aus, but THIS. THIS IS WHERE ITS AT. I love how the author writes their relationship and how they interact with each other, it's the perfect mix of humor/wit and tenderness that makes it just 🥰
"The Sun Did Not Yet Know" by keepAPlaceForMe
George is the moon god and Dream is a little star who falls in love with him. Over the course of many millennia, he gains a body, a godliness, and a lover.
guys this was written by the loml @demigodfoolish and I still read it all the time, it was based off of my dnf sun and moon au and it is SO SOFT. SO FLUFFY. SO CUTE. please it deserve more hits and love and attention. if you love any writing with a shit tone of space/astronomy references then this is for you
"A Street Cat Named Patches" by lilchip
The cat always made her rounds to Dream's windowsill. It was the one day he followed her home that landed him on George's front lawn.
If you've been looking for a dnf getting together fic with the boys as cat dads, then LOOK NO MORE because here it is. this fic is so fluffy and cute and Dream is so delightfully nervous and caring. amazing. 10/10.
"anything you can do (I can do better)" by Not4typicalwritter
In which Dream and George are each parent of two very wonderfully smart and mischievous daughters who happen to be friends. Oh, and of course, two daughters who are completely sick and done with their stupid rivalry that always gets in the way of their friendship.
The plan? Get them together in time for Prom. Maybe then they'll stop being so annoying.
SINGLE DADS DNF WHO HAVE A PLAYFUL RIVALRY AND THEIR DAUGHTERS TRY TO SET THEM UP. guys I can't scream loud enough about this fic it is SO. GOOD. their rivalry is fucking hilarious and their daughters are very relatable and it's just such a good read. worth every word
"say the word and of course I'll stay" by didnt 💌
They broke up several years ago because George finished college in the states and had to go back home to the UK. It was less of a mutual decision to break up and more George panicking and dumping Dream over a phone call in the summer following George’s graduation.
Now that it’s been years, and George is back working a job in the US, he’s mildly horrified to find out that Dream works for the same company as he does, in the same building, in the same office. In the end, it's a case of realising that a lot of things might change, but the important parts stay the same.
okay okay HEAR ME OUT ON THIS ONE. I love this fic because even though there's angst, and past conflict, they've both aged and matured and (I think) handle the situation very well!! I love how the author has written this because it feels very real; even though you still love someone, time matters, and things don't just immediately click back into place. cute fumbling and slightly awkward encounters ensue but the ending is worth it :) a lovely fic by the amazing @didntstand check out their other fics too!!
"everywhere I go" by sootified 💌
George was convinced that he was the last person on earth after the dead started to come back and he hadn't seen another person for five months.
Turns out, he was wrong. Turns out, there is another person on earth. He grins too much and wheezes like a tea kettle, but there's another person.
okay this fic is definitely a more graphic fic rec of mine, but is SO worth the read. post-zombie apocalypse, George and Dream are some of the last alive. It's definitely one of those fics where the world is ending so the characters resort to humor to cope LMAO its so good. make sure to read the tags, but don't let the MCD tag deter you PLS. I don't want to spoil anything but,,, everyone ends up together and happy and (kind of) alive in the end so :) READ IT its one of the first fics I read in this fandom! if you love dystopian style world building then this is for you
"dance in the rain and my arms" by lazykitkat
Where George is a lonely rain god and the wind god Dream keeps coming up with excuses to be around him
another dnf Gods!au that I just LOVE so much. the way George is generally apathetic and just Chillin with immortality and Dream is so endearing and just wants to get to know him because he's pretty. its so wholesome and it has a part 2 that's just as good. 100/10 amazing read pls. written by the crazy talented @yourlazykitkat !
#mcyt#dnf#dreamnotfound#fanfics#fic recs#yeah guys i love all of these fics dearly#i am a chronic fanfic reader its all i do#if you read any of these recs please yell at me about it!!#and give all the authors lots of love <33
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For the headcanon ask game: Bellmére
👻 A headcanon about what scares them
🎶 A headcanon about music
🫂 A friendship headcanon
👗 A headcanon about their clothes
🔪 A headcanon relating to fighting/violence
😺 An animal related headcanon
Run with any that you'd like to answer, and I'll throw in the random headcanon if you wanted to answer that one too!
omG bell-mére!! yes yes thank you so much, this is perfect. anything to help me practice writing/characterizing her.
👻 A headcanon about what scares them
honestly i think this one is the hardest. she seems so fearless! i think maybe she fears failing the people who care about her. we don't get too much backstory from her, but from what i recall, she was a bit of a punk/rebel before going off to the navy. i think she specifically went into the navy to try and shape up. tough love upon herself. we also see this selflessness when they're low on funds, and she goes on her "diet" so her kids can eat. so. yes. i'll settle with fear of failing her loved ones.
🎶 A headcanon about music
she listens to classic rock. maybe calmer-sounding groups like fleetwood mac by the time she's raising nami and nojiko, but i could totally see her having this punk/metalhead side before joining the marines, or while in the marines.
🫂 A friendship headcanon
everyone's best friend. she's like that super chatty acquaintance you can somehow trust right away. very warm, very open, often ends up giving TMI and trying to jam some humor into the conversation, regardless of the tone. i'm a sap so i imagine her and rosinante were besties if they ever got the chance to meet. they'd balance each other out perfectly.
👗 A headcanon about their clothes
there's a reason we never saw what bell-mére wore before joining the marines, okay. it was too much for oda's mind to handle. in all seriousness, i imagine she never really cared too much about her style. very free and loose, grabs whatever from the thrift store she finds first, regardless of gender or size. that's probably how she learned to sew and mend hand-me-downs for nami and nojiko.
🔪 A headcanon relating to fighting/violence
took a liking to firearms. but she was fearless, and had no issue defying authority and breaking formation. she could use her rifle like a club to beat on her enemies if the conditions were unfavorable. the way she jumped arlong lives in my brain rent-free.
😺 An animal related headcanon
dog person. loves them. would feed the strays around cocoyashi whenever she could. dreamed of owning one for herself, if their funds ever shaped up.
free headcanon!
i feel like something happened to bell-mére's parents when she was really little, and she was raised as a village kid. cared for wonderfully, but she still got up to trouble because there wasn't really anyone who was solely responsible for her. and i think that's one of the reasons she was so eager to drop everything and rescue nami and nojiko. i think she knows the pains of being orphaned, and she wanted to give them a solid family she always craved.
thank you so much for this!! 🧡 the bell-mére brainrot i have right now is pretty chronic so i appreciate this dose of self-indulgence. as you can see i answered all of them so that tells you something
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Trope Grade: Came Back Wrong (in very belated honour of Halloween), please?
Psh, no such thing as belated!
So this one is where I feel weirdly guilty about the grading system because it feels like I'm criticizing the trope itself, which I am NOT. It is a truly creepy and fascinating concept. But this is a very low D for my personal preferences. Like it's not an automatic avoid, but it is VERY rare that I'll be willing to read it.
I'm just not a fan of horror as a genre, period. I totally get why other people like it. I just do not care for it personally. I can handle most horror movies no problem, though I don't seek them out; it's not an issue of scare factor, though I definitely prefer psychological thrillers to, like, gore, which has always felt pointless to me. But that's because I'm going into the movie with ZERO attachment to the characters - in fact, almost a negative attachment to them, in anticipation of them being horribly murdered or otherwise fucked in the head. When the fic is taking my non-horror blorbos and pulling that shit, reading it just makes me very very sad and upset. Do not enjoy. Happily scroll right past that on AO3. Thank you for tagging responsibly!
There are exceptions, of course, and from an intellectual perspective, I find the Came Back Wrong trope fascinating - I definitely get the appeal! If the character in question isn't part of my OTP, I'm far more amenable (see: Owen in Torchwood, though there his personality was left mostly intact). And in the hands of the right author, it can be wonderfully creepy. But if it's one of my personal faves Coming Back Wrong, I'm gonna need some assurance that within the bounds of the fic, there is a happy/hopeful ending - that the Wrong element is temporary and reversible - or I will not put myself through that particular brand of misery. Nope nope nope. Not for me.
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This is a bit of an odd question, but what makes a character moral? Like, is it more about whether or not they strictly adhere to their own ideas of rignt and wrong or does it have to do with following what the society they live in deems morally correct? Can a character be a bad person and still be depicted as moral?(By the way, your blog posts are wonderfully well thought out and you deserve all the praise for it.)
This is such a complicated question, Anon. And a bit more philosophical than I expected today.
(Thank you for the compliments, by the way, but let’s get into the question)
Let’s start with some definitions.
A moral is a particular (usually somewhat specific) idea of right and wrong centered in religious roots.
An ethic is a particular (usually somewhat specific) idea of what is right and wrong centered in non-religious roots. These tend to be somewhat more widespread among people than morals, but are not really any less culturally biased.
A social more is as social or cultural tradition and accepted practice within that society.
A principle is a strongly held belief that guides a person’s actions.
Now.
Since these things all vary person-to-person, because of their religious understanding and social environment, their own innate personality, etc., what actions or beliefs are moral or ethical is rather in the eye of the beholder. Some people view queer behavior as immoral. Others don’t.
As for what makes a person or character moral, that would typically be someone who follows moral rules as determined by whoever’s deciding that.
As for what is a bad person, Anon, that’s a huge judgment to make about people and characters and generally speaking, I don’t find it helpful. Actions, ideas, and behaviors are more useful to judge than someone’s innate character in my opinion.
Additionally, none of those definitions above necessarily go together. Tax fraud is generally unethical most places, but plenty of religions really don’t get into tax fraud as a right/wrong thing, you know? A character can be strongly principled with an internal code they adhere to entirely without following anyone else’s idea of moral or ethical standards. If you have a bounty hunter who picks targets for traits and handles their catches all the same way, and if he finds himself targeted for those traits and expects to be treated the same way he has treated people—well, they’re strongly principled. They have great integrity.. But if that treatment includes abusive practices, is that…ethical? Is it moral? If bounty hunting is a socially disgraceful hobby, they are also not following social mores and society might disagree with his practices.
But the beholder for whether a character is moral or bad comes at three angles: the author, the narrator, and the reader. And these angles things may not agree on what they’re seeing.
Generally speaking, the story and narrative structure will give you some idea of whether or not the character should be viewed as correct in their behavior and beliefs. It might come to fruition in the way their character arc ends, how their actions affect themselves, the plot, and the story around them and what it does. How they feel about. How others feel about it. What the consequences are. A narrator is not necessarily the author, either: they might be deeply frustrated by how the story is portraying the actions of loved one. Someone who has forgiven a character might see them as much more moral than the plot and structure of the story does.
For example: there’s a weird, relatively small (thankfully, and mostly in Christian Romance) trend in romance novels to make high-ranking Nazis into romantic heroes for the protagonist (who is quite often Jewish). Now, I think a lot of people, even most people (who aren’t Nazis…), would see a Nazi as a bad person. An immoral person. An unethical person. Someone who was perhaps following the social mores of their time and place, but also who committed actions that are unrepentable and unforgiveable.
And yet in the context of a romance of course, they are shown to be lovable, forgivable, worthy of desire, etc. Some kind of Good or Valuable. Probably some kind of moral, because, Christian Romance, amiright? Because that’s the point of a romance novel. To show how and why a woman (a Jewish woman!) would love this man to root for them to build a life together and forgive and empathize with…
With, well, a Nazi. And his actions and his reasons for his actions.
But does the reader agree with that? Would an outside narrator? Say this Nazi romance was narrated by her sister. Would the narrator agree he’s a good person, even if all the details of the plot say what he did was fine?
Whether or not a character is moral is your own determination, Anon, and no one else can make that choice for you. How a character is depicted, however, is a thing entirely uncoupled.
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Whumptober No. 13 - Fracture
Chugging along now, we have the follow up to No.12, and checking back in on those back home...
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Adrienne regarded the hotel vending machine’s meager selection of room temperature beverages and American candies that were better used as paving stones than food. The machine’s internal light hummed, flickered, and the murmur of spectral voices built up at the back of Adrienne’s mind, adding more pressure to the headache she’d been nursing for four solid hours now.
“I have no need of you spirits. Leave me and I will call upon you when it is time.”
Immediately the murmur ceased, some of the pressure receding along with the spirits’ presence. The vending machine’s light flared back to life, and Adrienne permitted herself a deep sigh of relief mixed with agitation. She tried not to use The Voice often. To do so would promote laziness, a weakening of her practical skills in favor of a quick fix that, while effective, even now left her feeling drained. But after a day of brother and best friend and possibly boyfriend kidnappings one right after the other, she was not in the mood to handle the droves of ghosts that always roamed hotel hallways.
Hotels and hospitals. The absolute boon and bane of a necromancer’s existence. Hopefully she wouldn’t be visiting the latter any time soon.
Officially it had been four hours since Owen and Raquel had been declared missing, but Adrienne had known something was wrong the moment she’d entered the terminal and Val wasn’t already there eagerly waiting to get swept up in her arms. Most unlike her wonderfully devoted, single minded lover. Then her brother, already suffering from the fast approaching moonrise, hadn’t returned from the washroom and Raquel had failed to return from going to track him down, prompting the cirque to go into full lockdown mode as the authorities were called in. Maman was practically hysterical from fear of what could have happened to her “poor little boy”, while Monsieur Jacques’s usually cheery demeanor had gone solemn and heavy as he’d answered the officer’s questions and shepherded the cirque on to the hotel and tomorrow’s performance, because what else could the ringmaster do? For once he’d visibly shown the weight of every one of his considerable years, and Adrienne wondered if the man was fearful that Raquel would be yet another youthful descendant he’d outlive.
Amidst all the panic and consoling Maman, Adrienne’s suspicions about her boyfriend’s unusual tardiness had seemed a petty concern best kept to herself. Yet with each passing minute and every call that immediately went to Val’s voicemail, Adrienne found it harder and harder to push back the dread bubbling up from the pit of her stomach. Val had never denied her anything, the fripon, not even something as simple as the pleasure of his company. And now when she wanted him by her side most, after Owen and Raquel had gone missing themselves, he wasn’t responding?
Three of the most important people in her life, gone without a trace. Not to be conceited, but It was too much of a coincidence.
Frustratingly there wasn’t much Adrienne could actually do about the situation but reassure Maman, a messy and emotionally volatile task Adrienne felt ill suited for, hence her retreating from their hotel room on the pretext of finding some sustenance. Neither of them had had anything to eat since arriving in America, and fretting on a full stomach was better than fretting without one.
As Adrienne contemplated the merits of Skittles versus M&Ms, something shifted in the reflection on the vending machine’s glass right over her shoulder. A person shaped something. She didn’t recall passing by anyone in the hallway, and Monsieur Jacques always made sure to arrange for all of the cirque to have neighboring rooms. Stressed as everyone was at the moment, any one of them would have greeted Adrienne if they’d passed her by in the halls, said how sorry they were.
Leaning towards the glass under the pretext of checking snack prices, Adrienne could just make out the definite shape of a person behind her where one hadn’t been before. Taller than her but thinner, dressed in washed out denim. Darker skin, sunglasses with circular frames that hid the upper half of their face.
How many coincidences does it take to make a warning?
Watching the person’s reflection for any sudden movements, Adrienne’s hand carefully slipped into the deceptively small handbag on her belt. The throwing knife’s handle sent a comforting tingle through her fingertips.You picked up a variety of tricks as a traveling performer, like keeping the valuable parts of your trade on your person at all times.
Using the reflection Adrienne gauged distance and made some quick mental calculations in the span of a breath before whipping around, releasing the dagger at just the right speed and just the right angle to achieve a maiming blow meant to hit the figure’s left thigh. Instead there was an immense scattering, shifting sound and the person dissolved into a heavy navy smoke that surged forward, the knife passing through it harmlessly and thudding into the floor.
Adrienne ducked down and rolled out of the smoke’s path, skirts fluttering. Heat washed over her followed by a peculiar pebbling sensation across her skin and hair, and when Adrienne sprang back up there was a fine layer of deep blue sand coating her clothing.
Not just smoke then, Adrienne thought grimly. Sand. A being of heat and smoke and sand…
The whirlwind overshot her but managed to pull back before it got very far, coming to a stop a few feet down the hallway. With a terrible hiss the mass twisted around itself, condensing back down into a humanoid shape that pulsed with a nervous system of golden fire before it was a man once again. His hair was almost as long and dark as Adrienne’s own, the sunglasses somehow still perched on the bridge of his blunt nose after such an inhuman transformation. He grimaced and that same golden fire flickered through the gaps of his teeth, like he’d swallowed a miniature sun.
Adrienne’s hand was already diving back into her bag for another throwing knife. “You took the others.”
It wasn’t a question, but the man nodded anyway. Adrienne’s heart lurched but she kept her expression composed, her form pristine as she brandished the next knife. The man tracked her motions with his whole face, arms loose at his side, no visible weapons on his person. Given the display he’d just put on, he struck Adrienne as a person who didn’t need weapons to get his point across.
The gears continued to turn in her mind, rifling through her extensive catalog of the supernatural. Sand and fire. Some kind of demon? No. Lacks the scent of brimstone, no black nails, no sharp teeth.
“You’re the necromancer,” he said. Also not a question. No reason to lie then.
“Amongst other things.” Adrienne’s lips curled, making sure to show off every pointed tooth. “But seeing as you have me at a disadvantage, I hope this means you’re confident enough to be seeking me out to negotiate your terms. Otherwise I’m afraid I’ll be forced to do something you’ll regret but I will enjoy immensely.”
“I–,” the man began before his voice cut off, the muscles in his throat straining but only producing a pathetic sputter. The bottom half of his face buckled with frustration before he managed to force out through stiff lips, “Come with me or your loved ones will be killed.”
Unable to say what he wants. Perhaps acting against his will? Or Bonded to another’s service? A Blood Pact, or an Enchantment of Binding could explain that. Powerful, but not elemental magic. Not his magic.
“Is that all?” Adrienne’s posture relaxed and she slipped her knife into place in the loop of her belt. The man gave her a bewildered look and she gestured impatiently. “Mon bon pion, if you really know who I am then you’d know this is not my first kidnapping. Now please, lead the way to the hearse, fairy ring, or interdimensional rift that will take me to whoever is pulling your strings and has the actual power to release them, s'il vous plaît.”
For a moment the man continued to stare at her stupidly before his expression crumpled into a look of horror, mouth agape so that the gold and white fire was visible again, churning at the back of his throat.
“No, no,” he moaned, head shaking, “you-you were supposed to fight back…”
“Well, lucky for you I’m an exceptionally straightforward person,” Adrienne said coolly even as she watched the man become more agitated by the second. Not the reaction she’d expected for making his job easier.
The man mumbled something desperately in what sounded like Arabic, though a much more archaic version then Adrienne was familiar with. Still, she understood enough to recognize it as pleading, almost a prayer. Tears dripped down from under the man’s dark glasses, leaving steaming tracks on his cheeks before they evaporated entirely.
“I am truly sorry. She… she said she wanted me to use force. To make sure you couldn’t run away, so that you’d have no choice but to listen to her. I thought you’d resist, that it would be necessary…”
An unsettling rushing sound roared in Adrienne’s ears as the man unraveled into a jet of smoke and sand that enveloped her before she had a chance to react. The force of it slammed her into the ceiling and floor in quick succession, and her mouth instinctively opened in a scream that was immediately choked back by scolding sand. The heat was unbearable, pressing in on her from all sides, waves and waves of it with no relief.
The whirlwind shifted and her body had no choice but to move along with it, forced into unnatural angles as she continued to be battered again and again. White stars of pain popped across Adrienne’s vision until with a final twist she came down full force on her leg. She felt the snap and crunch of something important giving away, and now the fire was inside of her. Sharp agony radiated up her whole body and sand was filling her mouth. There was no time for The Voice, no time for anything but the horrible fire until her body couldn’t take any more and she suddenly felt nothing at all.
#whumptober2022#no.13#fic#oc#fracture#adrienne#magic kids#my favorite characters from comics are nightcrawler#deadman#and hawkeye#which should be enough to justify the circus performers with magic powers angle#my writing
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Enemies to Lovers, Rivals to Lovers, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Co-Workers to Friends to Lovers - you get the gist. It's InuKag written all over (which is probably why this trope is a personal fave, as is the pairing), but dear satan is this category huge, and a tough one to whittle down. I've listed 7 of my favourites that keep me going back, time and time again, with a sneaky new favourite that shoved everything out the way to make room for itself. There's one for every day of the week, and each includes a link, rating, pairing, authors handle (if applicable) and small commentary, sans spoilers…
Drawing Flowers | T | InuKag | By @inunanna ☆
A tattoo artist and a flower shop owner don't like each other, but they're forced to co-exist regardless; the best take on Tattooist/Florist trope I've ever had the pleasure of reading (and I haven't read that many so please send some my way). [Multi-chapter, Complete]
Alter Ego | T | InuKag | By FrameofMind ☆
An oldie but a goldie, I've read this one back to back a few times now. When you place a sordid bet to woo the one who hates you the most, nothing can go wrong. Not a thing. [Multi-chapter, Complete]
Love's Smirking Revenge | M | InuKag | By Langus ☆
This...is the one. The mother of Enemies to Lovers within the Inuyasha fandom. I've read this at least 5 times (at least) over the years, and I cannot recommend it enough. Grizzled Detective Inuyasha and Journalist Kagome have my entire mind, body and soul. Update: Langus has been updating and uploading LSM on AO3 - be sure to check it out! Completed work lives on FFN. [Multi-chapter, Complete]
Playing With Fire | M | InuKag | By FrameofMind ☆
FoM strikes again! Two teppanyaki chefs with a full-blown rivalry entering a culinary competition spells disaster, but it gets spicy between the two dummies, because of course it does. [Multi-chapter, Complete]
Thirst Impressions | E | InuKag | By @fandomobsessions016 ☆
The most recent, and one of the most fun reads I've ever had the pleasure of witnessing that came out of nowhere. The execution, the style, the feelings, the >.> <.< smut chapter are all so wonderfully done that it shot straight into the top 7 by mere existence. And it all started with some revealing sweatpants. [Multi-chapter, Complete]
Castaways | X | InuKag | By @splendentgoddess ☆
Splendent has a particular knack for creating wonderfully fleshed out worlds you want to sink your teeth into and never leave, and Castaways is just one of the many. Seriously, there are so many. The quintessential 'stranded InuKag' fanfiction. And an honourable mention goes to FMLYHM, because of course. [Multi-chapter, Complete]
Million Dollar Man | E | InuKag | By @inussunflower ☆
*Slaps fic* you can fit so many tropes in this bad boy, and they're all the best ones, somehow. Fake dating, famous people, reverse slow burn (it's a thing), this fic is one of those that leaves you wanting to both punch and kiss the main characters while laughing your ass off simultaneously. I love it. [Multi-chapter, In-progress]
Feel free to add your own recommendations! This is by no means a comprehensive list, and represents only a small fraction of the skill and talent this fandom has shown. The more the merrier!
If you missed the last Spotlight Saturday (Friends to Lovers) click here.
You can also access these and all previous recommendations through my Fiction Spotlights page.
Check out the Best of InuKag Collection for (AO3 specific) recommendations.
#inukag fanfiction#spotlight saturday#fiction spotlights#trope edition: enemies to lovers#enemies to lovers#writing tropes#writer spotlight#fic recs#rec list#inuyasha#fanfiction#inuyasha x kagome
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Do you have any recommended spn fics? To be restored is consuming all of my non fenario brainspace
This is in no way an exhaustive list - @jewishcharliebradbury is the one to go for that - but these are some favorites of mine, please always heed their tags just in case!
Putting it under a readmore because I'm a wordy bastard:
Sky Verse by starandrea: Angelic civil war! The crispest, most in-character dialogue! Vast, sprawling worldbuilding! Dean and Cas get together and are very bad at it for a long time! This series obsesses me the way other people are obsessed with dta (which I have not read for fear of commitment but fully intend to eventually).
To Be Restored by serenetyfails: You mentioned this one already but it's worth repeating - it's my favorite trans spn fic that I didn't write myself. Cas's transmasc identity is handled so carefully and so competently, Dean flips out in a way that's both in character and still kind to him, and Sam and Rowena are wonderfully fleshed out. I think many people would look at the premise and worry it's either misogynistic or fetishy, but it's neither, it's such a love letter to Cas's well-earned masculinity. Also, I'm obsessed with Rowena knowing and being buddies with a lot of trans women witches :)
Talk Therapy by shara: This is one of my favorite 'Dean is bad at asking for things' fics, it deals with his inability to want things past what he can give to others really well. I also appreciate that not everything in their relationship is fixed just because they're together, although the amount they love each other is always obvious.
Epilogue by JayneL: A weird little time travel story that is NOT a fixit for endverse, but is exceptionally kind to endverse Cas anyway. It aches very badly. I remember it being pretty trippy but also having to sit and look at the ceiling a while after reading it.
The Love Story of the Runner Up by Margo_Kim: Cas dates a normal human man with a good soul for a little while before he gets with Dean. Both of them know it isn't for forever, but they look after each other anyway. Told through the lens of story-swapping between gay friends and written with so much care & love. (You can thank @okologie for finding this one and making me read it despite my reservations.)
where the weeds take root by deathbanjo: Everyone recommends this fic but it's for a reason. Probably the best post-retirement fic there is, and definitely helped me form the neural connections to write Fenario, haha, I can't recommend this one enough. The complicated Dean and Sam issues are held with just as much weight as the Dean and Cas ones, although both are handled gently.
you and me in the war of the end times by stickthelanding (@tallahasseemp3): Alma knocked it out of the park with this one. THEE shotgunning fic. I've reread it more times than I can count, it has the loveliest atmosphere. I want to gnaw on this prose, said with love!
A Drinking Song by Balder12: Endverse snapshot. This one is mostly just bone hurting juice but it's one of my favorite characterizations of them - sometimes I find that endverse stories either make Cas way too soft or fucked up in a way I find goes too far in a direction I don't agree with, this one feels pitch perfect.
Everyone Is Trying to Get to the Bar by Balder12: All time fave angel true form fic!!! It's deliciously weird and fun, definitely a mind-melter. I only read it the once but sometimes I think about it and get a funny little shiver.
Tall Grass by aeli_kindara: This is another 'universal favorite', but also for good reason. Extraordinarily tender, it's my personal favorite Cas-grows-a-garden post canon story, especially because it manages to write a jealousy plotline that doesn't make me want to bite and kill. Dean's voice is exactly right and everything unfurls with this tender inevitability, idk how else to describe it! It also ends on a final image that's so lovely it's seared into my brain.
Dean (and Cas') Top 13 Zepp Traxx by pantheon_of_discord: Nobody does vignettes like supernatural writers. I love the way the road feels in this one, and how carefully picked each moment is. A string of pearls, this fic.
There's Only One Sure Thing That I Know by blinkiesays: Dean and Cas get trapped in the midwest by a curse that doesn't let them leave the state, and they want to break it until they don't. Being trapped gives them an excuse to want to settle down, but the route they take to get there is, of course, circuitous. This one hurts a little because it takes place while Sam is dead, but it isn't gratuitous in its sadness. Sweet and melancholy.
the taste of gravel in the mouth by deathbanjo: FAVE FAVE FAVE FAVE. I push this one at everyone I can. I'm extremely picky about 'Dean's self loathing' fics, mainly because I think it can veer easily into melodrama, but this author weaves Dean's self hatred and his anger together very seamlessly, in a way that feels real to the show. Also, Cas is perfect.
sweeter coming from my hand by perilously: A story that I liked before Nov5 and withstood the test of time!! Dean and Cas get married/soul-bound in order to both remove the Mark of Cain and fix Cas's grace. Features a formative scene for me where Cas expresses worries about if he has a soul and Dean raps knuckles on his chest, going, "knock knock, sounds like a soul in there." If you like this one, perilously has many good fics that are just as in character.
On Labor by a_good_soldier: I very nearly couldn't finish this one, but not because it's bad, haha. The premise just makes me want to tear my clothes in mourning - Dean knows Cas is in love with him, after getting him back from the Empty, and decides that he should give him what he wants without realizing that he wants it too. Dean performatively dating Cas while trying to talk himself into liking it (not knowing that he does actually like it) is exactly the kind of convoluted bullshit Dean's internalized homophobia would do to him. Nauseating and spectacular. Sticks in your brain for weeks.
canticles by 2street2car: An excellent 'weird girl best friends' fic. After striking out at the brothel, Dean decides to treat Cas to the "first date experience" himself, since the guy might die the next day. To sum it up succinctly: the rituals are intricate. And dirty dancing is referenced!
we shovel all the ashes out by xylodemon: As the author states themself, this fic is a love letter to California - it's a road trip casefic that's so rooted in place, the setting is rich and lush and the atmosphere makes me ache, and not just because it's set in my home state! I saved this one for last because this is another prolific author who has many stories I come back to again and again (Sweet Home and Love: A Retrospective are particularly good), they really don't miss. Usually when I read fic, it's a mad dash to the finish, but I took my time with this one. I highly encourage you to do the same :)
#dear god. ok. this got long#if u want more recs i mean it alie is Thee fic reccer i trust#but these are some gems i carry around w me :)#nathaniel.txt#answered#fic rec
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Request for Ashe, Felix, and Yuri HCs. Author’s choice.
I've been doing a lot of alphabet requests lately and you said Author's choice, so fuck it, we're doing it freestyle~
Ashe, Felix, Yuri (FE3H) spicy headcanons
NSFW 18+
Ashe:
- This man is such a sweet and adoring lover. He's so earnest, his eyes shining when he tells you he loves you dearly the moment before he enters you. He tries a bit to be more stoic, more 'masculine' the first few times together, but once you make it clear that you want to hear his feelings, that his pleasure is important to you- hell, it feels good for you to know that he's feeling good- he's much more relaxed and the sex improves immensely.
- Ashe likes a lot of kissing during sex, and he quickly learns to be quite good at it. He has a wonderful natural sense of how to move his lips with yours, and those pleasant passes of his tongue into your mouth are sensual without ever overwhelming you. His lips are wonderfully soft, and his hand will come to cradle your face as he tilts his head to deepen the kiss. Overall, tender, romantic, wonderful~
- He's actually quite fond of shower/bath sex. There's something so intimate but soft about cleaning each other, trading quiet pleasantries and brief kisses as your hands run smoothly over each others' bodies. Sometimes, the physical and emotional stimulus of it all is simply too much for him, and he pulls you against his body with a shy smile, murmuring, "Is- is this alright? I just... I'd just like to touch you, that's all..."
Felix:
[I have written a ~lot~ of general headcanons for Felix thus far lol so let me think of a few more off-the-beaten-path ideas.]
- I've mentioned before that Felix has a fairly high sex drive with someone that he actually likes (rare as such a person is), so one way to see him go absolutely feral is to- either by circumstance or your request -keep sexual contact to a minimum for a while until his desire slowly becomes a nagging, pent up need. Once you finally suggest spending the night together after so long, you'll immediately catch an unmistakable, dangerous glint in his eyes.
- When Felix fucks rough, he fucks rough. He wants to know you can handle it of course- his feelings for you run deep and passionate, despite how miserable he is at expressing them. But if you can take it, he'll grab onto the headboard for leverage and pound into you until your entire body trembles and you're near incoherent. He would never admit it, but he actually takes immense pride in your hazy, over-fucked expression by the time he's done.
- Poor Felix is so stupid about aftercare. He adores you, but it's not in his nature to coddle to be 'nurturing.' The first few times with him, you may even be a little off-put as he immediately gets up to clean off, never thinking to offer you much of anything. He can be talked to about this, however, and this idea that may have seemed foolish to him in the past suddenly makes sense when he pauses to appreciate the sight of you naked in his bed covered in love-bites and positively dripping with his release.
Yuri:
- I've already mentioned that Yuri is absolutely an adventurous type when it comes to pleasure, and that extends to toys as well. He already owns an impressive array, but he also loves it when you take the initiative to mention something you'd like to try. Because of his very chaotic habit of enjoying making you squirm in public, one of his favorite games is to push a dildo inside of you and watch you try to go about your normal day-to-day routine this way.
- What Yuri really loves about incorporating toys though, is the moment when raw desire wins out over curiosity; he's seen the difference in your expressions between taking a toy inside of you and taking his cock, and he absolutely thrives on the knowledge that, beyond any sort of play or experimentations, what you really want is simply his body. It's similar in the moment when a slutty little custom outfit he purchased just for the occasion gets ripped off, or the manacles get tossed aside and your hands are all over one another.
- While not excessively touch-shy, there are a couple places where he doesn't prefer to be touched until quite long into a relationship, once a greater level of trust is established. He dislikes being touched on the back of his neck, or the small of his back- he says it makes him feel 'jumpy.' In addition, it's going to be a long time before he's comfortable with you touching his hair, let alone pulling it. But again, these are things that soften as time goes on, and he grows comfortable with your presence and touch in an almost domestic way.
#yuri leclerc#felix hugo fraldarius#ashe ubert#fire emblem#fire emblem three houses#fe3h#yuri x reader#felix x reader#ashe x reader#fire emblem imagines#fire emblem smut#not sfw headcanons#spicy headcanons#fire emblem x reader
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TOH Fanfic recs! Part 1
(All of these people are my inspiration I stg)
Found family
Make my heart your home series by @tiredandjaded
First fic: Luz accidentally calls Eda "mom" and they both have a crisis over it. Mostly Luz. Second fic: post-YBOS, Luz tells Eda and Lilith of what happened during the rescue mission, and both Luz and Eda give Lilith a shovel talk. Third fic: Luz and Eda are both taking care of each other in the first seven days after coming home. Includes fun sibling bonding!
(Patiently awaiting the next chapter of the third installment!)
Literally anything by @hereforthehurts
The way they write emotions and hurt/comfort is seriously amazing. Never fails to make me cry, especially when it comes to sickfics and fics of Eda and Luz. (I recommend supporting them on Ko-Fi!)
You Are My Sunshine by @liesminelli
One of the first Owl House fics I ever read, and it's SO good! Luz has a night terror and Eda walks in on her freaking out, and it goes from there. The emotions of both characters are very well-written, and the ending is so sweet! I also recommend checking out their other works too!
It's The Least I Could Do by @witchesbeforewizardss
There aren't enough fics of Luz and Lilith bonding, and this is one of the BEST ones. Lilith needs more healthy relationships, and in my opinion, building an aunt-niece relationship with Luz is a great place to start! (next to making amends with Eda) Basically, Luz is feeling homesick, and before dinner, she allows Lilith to help her feel better.
Luz's Not So Great Luck and
A Friendly Beastly Surprise by @animerunner
The first fic has a large abundance of angsty scenarios, mostly AUs, all of which are wonderful to read. My personal favorite is the one where Luz is an orphan and she has a chronic illness, and well, you'll have to read to find out! The second one is canon compliant, and it's about Eda turning into the Owl Beast and treating Luz like an owlet, and Luz is just like "guess this is my life now". It's so cute!
Rainy Day Makeovers by @fallenflowersfromgrace
To summarize, There's boiling rain, and Luz convinces Eda to spend time with her giving each other makeovers. It's very cute, and I love it!
Some Honesty Before Breakfast by @pizzaboat
Eda notices Luz is acting unusual, and gets her to open up. It's in-character, and wonderfully executed.
Thank you for being in my life by @peridot-garcia
Episodes of The Owl House from Eda's perspective, and as of now, also Luz and Lilith's perspective. It's got wonderful found family scenarios, and so far the plot is pretty great!
Lighting up the Dark by The_Quoter
This is a very recent one, and I love it! It's post-Young Blood Old Souls, and Eda comes to terms with how much Luz means to her, while also helping her come out of a nightmare.
The Light Behind Your Eyes by ABirdinFlight
Post-Young Blood. Eda gives Lilith a shovel-talk (harsh but well-deserved) and has a heart-to-heart talk with Luz in her room.
Moonlit Masquerade: Replacement by Rohad
Similar to make my heart your home, Luz accidentally calls Eda "mom" and both of them have a crisis over it. (As expected!)
Bad Days by @drabbles-of-writing
Part of their Four Years AU, Luz has an episode, and Eda takes her home to help her calm down. It's very bittersweet and heartfelt.
Gratuitous Embellishments of Chicken Noodle Soup by Rulerofthecosmosandsnails
Luz almost drowns at the Knee, but her Owl Mom is there to help her get better, including making her soup! (Yeah, my fic Snow Day was inspired by this)
A Line Crossed by Clevinger
AU in which Luz dies by the spikes at the bridge, in front of Eda, who thankfully resurrects her, and as expected, Luz is having a hard time handling it. There's another work inspired by it called Too Much, Too Late by TheHonestyBird.
A nightmare and a hug by moreteaplease
Reeaaally hard to find since it doesn't have the relationship tag for Luz and Eda, but still, it's very good! Post-YBOS, Luz has a nightmare and goes to Eda for comfort, confessing that she misses her mom.
Sleepless Nights by @snail-watch
Similar to the one before this, Luz has a nightmare and goes to Eda for comfort. I loved the way the author wrote Eda's thoughts about Luz!
Mending Trust by @electricwalkman
Similar to The Light Behind Your Eyes. Eda puts Luz to bed, and Luz tells her about the portal being destroyed, and gives her the mask piece. Eda comforts her, as well.
Night Owl and
The Bad Dream Club by @thedrunkenwerewolf / @wolfiethewriter
Eda has trouble sleeping, Luz notices, and Eda confessed that she's scared of hurting Luz as the beast. Luz of course, reassures her by telling her it won't happen. The second fic is the other way around, sorta. Luz has a nightmare and gets herself a drink to calm down, and Eda finds her.
Dreams of a Witch by TheDinosaurNerd
Eda talks to her younger self in her mindscape about her life as a wild witch. (In the end it turns out to be Luz in her lap.)
Griffon Flu by @serendipitouslyss
Another great sickfic! Luz gets the flu, or Griffon Flu as it's called in the Boiling Isles, but Eda and King are more than willing to help her get better.
Owlet by spotty8bee
Ah, the cursed AU that started it all. Only 2 chapters, but it's wonderfully heartbreaking and you really feel for Eda in the second half of chapter 1.
Observations of the Witchy Kind by JoLau
If you like platonic cuddling, you'll love this fic! Luz wants to learn about witch biology, but unfortunately Boscha burns the notebook that had her research, so she tries to rewrite her observations, and ends up catching Eda's attention.
I Need You, Please Don't Leave Me by rainbowpotato12
Luz is having bad thoughts, and worries that something bad could happen to Eda again, but Eda reassures her it won't.
This is Home by SpaghettieBabie
Luz has doubts about herself, and opens up to Eda about it, confessing that she likes her as her mother figure.
I Love the Found Family Trope! by @l-egionaire
Takes place after The Intruder. Eda thinks that Luz and King might leave her after knowing about the curse, and they tell her they would never do that.
Nightmare by OneandOnlyOllie
Another nightmare fic! Eda comforts Luz after a nightmare. Lilith hears the two, and wants to make things right with Luz.
It was not, in fact, a day out by @pizzaboat
Post-YBOS. Eda turns into the Owl Beast, tries to cuddle Luz, Lilith and King in her nest, and they have to come up with a working scheme to turn her back. Basically The Intruder if Lilith was there.
A broken brain by @pizzaboat
I can relate to this one a lot (except my adhd is diagnosed). Luz has trouble focusing on homework, and doesn't know why, and tells Eda she thinks she's going crazy, but Eda tells her she's not, and that Lilith had a similar problem.
What big claws (to protect you with my dear) by @ito-itonomen
AU where Luz is 10 and Eda takes her in, and both of them have doubts about themselves. Chapter 2 is especially good.
Unexpected Hope by @sepublic
Luz talks to Lilith about how she had (surprisingly) inspired her.
Lilith and Eda
Mistakes Might Have Been Made by @fallenflowersfromgrace
WARNING: you will definitely cry in the second chapter!
An AU in which Lilith split the curse with Eda the first time she transformed. Of course, by the time she reveals that she cursed her, it doesn't go well. (Eda's reaction hurts, but it's in character) and the pain in chapter 2 is just…AGONY AND ITS SO GOOD!
Walk Through the Storm, I Would by @lilithswxfe
Trigger warning for self harm and suicidal thoughts in this fic.
Lilith tries to hurt herself while in a bad state, but Eda catches her and comforts her.
Source Decay series by @tiredandjaded
Trigger warning for underage drinking in the second fic.
Two pre-canon fics about Lilith and Eda, the first fic portraying Eda as trans and how she's feeling about her name, and how Lilith helps her. The second one is sadder, it's after the curse and Eda isn't taking Lilith coming home late very well, leading to some…not-so-great coping mechanisms.
Rabbit Heart by radiantstaber
It has found family Owl Mom moments, but then it is mostly about Lilith and Eda rebuilding their relationship, with Luz trying her best to encourage both of them. (The description is very funny, describing the Owl House as a get along shirt.)
The Cafeteria Incident by @electricwalkman
Remember that page from Eda's record about Eda summoning abominations because somebody stole Lilith's lunch money? This is based on that, and it's SO GOOD!
Runaway Raven by @witchesbeforewizardss
Trigger warning for graphic injuries
In both Lilith thinks she doesn't belong with her family in the Owl House, and tries to "punish" herself. Eda convinces her that it's not worth it and she just wants her sister back.
The Long Night by @serendipitouslyss
Post-YBOS, just like The Light Behind Your Eyes. Eda puts Luz to bed, and she and Lilith have a long talk. (Though she's not as harsh.)
A Midnight Talk by @elizabethemerald
Lilith sees Luz having a nightmare, and calms her down for a little bit (via stroking her hair). Eda sees her, and the two have a talk.
I Need a Moment to Quiet This Pain by @come-unhinged
Moments in Eda's life and how she dealt with her curse.
Part 2 might have Lumity idk
#long post#fanfic recommendation#fanfic#fanfiction#fic recs#the owl house#toh#owl house#the owl house fanfiction#found family#Luz noceda#eda clawthorne#edalyn clawthorne#Lilith clawthorne#Clawthorne sisters#eda the owl lady#eda the owl mom#mom Eda
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Do you think it would have helped class dynamics more if there were more students in Class A (B too) that were more on the 'bully to hero' type of things, instead of it just being relegated to Bakugo. Like maybe Momo looks down upon most of the other girls for not measuring up in her eyes or maybe Sero would be a shady sort of prankster that takes your chair out with his tape. Not that I dislike the Class A we have now, but its just something I wonder would have some students stick out more.
100% yes.
(Hit the jump for venting about the way the story handles the kids.)
One of my semi-frequent complaints with my friend group is that the 1-A kids are all just so wonderfully, perfectly nice. It’s a bit different early on, when Todoroki is still Early-roki, and Iida is still wrestling with anger management issues, and even Ochaco had a money motive (albeit one with sympathetic motivations), but as time passed, all of those got worn down.
Shouto’s drama has internal aspects, but it’s mainly centered around his family and how he relates himself to or distinguishes himself from them. Iida gets periodic callbacks to the Stain material, but other than that one time he socked Deku in the face, it’s mostly been about The Lessons I Learned Then and not e.g. a reminder that, oh yeah, Iida is of a rigid temperament and easily moved to anger, and thence to physical outbursts. Ochaco only ever wanted money to help her parents, so as soon as they tell her not to worry about them and to focus on the part of her that wants to help people, she does, and we never hear a peep from her again about money or materialism.
This really only leaves Bakugou(1) to wrestle with developing as a person over a series-long arc.(2) And he does it great! But it leaves the rest of the class feeling pretty thin, too nice to root against, but too dramatically undernourished to root for. It’d be one thing if the series would lean into that more, really treat these kids—cream of the crop, up-and-coming darlings, adored by the country—as sheltered children, largely oblivious to the flaws of the system they’re training to become part of, but for the most part, while you can read that in if you want (and I do), it’s not something the story insists on.
It’s not like I think the kids lack all knowledge of hardship or anything. Even the ones without bullying or poverty in their backgrounds have still had to deal with the terror and trauma of multiple attempts being made on their lives by villains! Where they differ from the villains, though, is that even in their hardships and missteps, they don’t lack for support from other quarters: loving parents, friends at school, people in positions of authority that believe in their futures and thus want to help them.
Because they have that support, and because they’re all good kids, getting a good education, with good role models, they all turn out pretty good. It’s very reliable and it’s frankly not very interesting. For me, rooting for the students I like is like casually rooting for a local sports team to do well in their tournament bracket, but it’s fine if they don’t, because there’s always next season. I don’t fear there are ever going to be significant consequences for them—they might not get a trophy,(3) but they aren’t going to die or go to jail like is constantly hanging over the villains’ heads.
Honestly, you could take the sports metaphor even farther: I’m not deeply invested in the (hypothetical) local team because I’m not obliged to follow them closely. I don’t know about the athletes’ personal lives, their injuries, their ages, their rivalries, their history. If I knew that stuff, if I was invested in that stuff, maybe I’d root for them a lot more actively! If I knew about what hardships they had overcome to get where they are, the diminishing time they have left to go all the way before retirement, it would be a lot easier to want to root for them! But when there’s none of that knowledge, they’re just—there. Playing games. Hope they do well, I guess, but the team’ll still be there next year, so whatever.
The students feel similarly to me—even though I follow their stories actively, they’re mostly all surface. They’re smiling faces who are on a one-directional road to improvement, never any backsliding, never any major hurdles, nothing ugly in their pasts waiting to catch up to them. They’re never the underdogs in any situation they’re in—they’re elite students at an elite school who are the heroes of their own story, supported by everyone around them.
Even in the places where that support wavers, it’s off-screened (Shouto having to deal with public fallout from Dabi’s video), temporary (Uraraka gives one speech to one crowd of civilians at one shelter location and now nationwide civilian resentment is Solved, at least insomuch as it’s going to affect anyone we care about), and never harsh enough to drive them to do anything particularly permanent (not a single student in 1-A or 1-B quits the hero course over it).
The traitor plot is a particular let-down in this regard. Aoyama is nothing but an agonized saint who hates having to do this with his entire body, has no apparent sympathies towards any other villains or selfish motivations that drove him to All For One, and bears no resentment towards his classmates for their comparatively easy lives (indeed, their goodness fuels only his self-hatred; we can’t even get some interestingly nasty projection from him). Conversely, every single one of his classmates, after disbelief and questioning that last for all of three cumulative pages, is unstintingly sympathetic and supportive, even the ones who suffered directly because of his actions. Bakugou is gruff about it, but even he is relatively toned down, suggesting that a good fight where he gets to rough Aoyama up some will make them square.
No arguments, no dissension, no resentment: no tension.
And honestly? It kind of hurts the intellectual integrity of the series, I feel. If the Hero System is so bad, so corrupt, so in need of change, if so many people in the peaceful society All Might created wanted to be heroes for the money, the fame, the easy social aggrandizement, where was any of that in the student body? If UA’s methods were so finely tuned to producing only the best heroes, why did we never see a single person who couldn’t hack it? If the danger and social scorn were bad enough to drive professionals into retirement, why didn’t one single student drop out after USJ or the training camp attacks, either because they weren’t getting what they signed up for or due to parental pressure?
It’s not just U.A., either—we’ve now seen all of the prominent Ketsubutsu kids still in action, with the most unheroic thing any of them do being Yo complaining about stubborn civilians a little behind their backs, right before he throws himself into a battle with an S-rank villain for their sakes.
Likewise, I have no doubt that when we finally get to see the Shiketsu kids, they’re all still going to be there, probably even the kid with the most reason to drop out or go rogue: Shishikura. Portrayed in the canon and described in the data books as being rigid but impressionable, the warped justice of his worldview influenced by his Tartarus warden father, his father was murdered in the Tartarus jailbreak, and he’s not licensed for hero activity as far as we know.(4) I expect he’s going to be as active as ever, but if the story does choose him to be the Requisite Bad Example like Yoroi Musha and Death Arms got to put faces on the retiring heroes, I will happily take it.
Even if we get that, though, it won’t change the fact that that story was relegated to the extreme side cast, just like the retirements were, rather than BNHA having the cajones to actually fell some characters the audience has spent real, honest-to-god time with.
There’s a reason that Bakugou keeps beating out Deku in the character polls. It helps that he’s strong, sure, but it’s not just about that: it’s about him having real, compelling character growth, an inner life that is not all sunshine and daisies, things that he regrets, a struggle to work on his character flaws while not wholly surrendering everything that makes him who he is. Bakugou is not my favorite student,(5) not by a long shot, but he is by far the most compelling of the lot of them, and it would have helped the class dynamics an incomparable amount if here was a bit more of his spicy Kacchan flavor—his resentment, his pride, his temper, his inclinations towards violence—to go around.
Thanks as always for the ask, @shockersalvage!
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1: I would mention Mineta, who has several odious personal traits, but that it’s fairly obvious that Horikoshi doesn’t really look at Mineta’s gross behavior as indicative of a flawed character; they’re just “humorous foibles.” I’m glad to see that behavior mostly gone of late, and I even like Mineta a good deal more than most people, but his growth happens mostly offscreen and isn’t really ever framed like growth, more like his gags are just too comedic for the tone of the later series, so the series drops them.
2: And my greatest sympathies go out to the people who really like e.g. Bakugou and Endeavor’s series-long arcs, because the BNHA fandom has the worse case of First Impression Disease I have ever seen.
3: In this metaphor, flashy focus scenes, a place in the character popularity polls, merch available for their fans to purchase, etc.
4: His presence in the Chapter 246 work study spreads notwithstanding. Maybe he’s been granted a dispensation of some kind?
5: Tokoyami in Class A, who would be a lot more compelling if the story would go back to that bit where it’s forcing him to confront the fact of his respected mentor having murdered a man who considered him a friend. Monoma’s my overall fave of the students, though. Now there’s a narrative underdog for you.
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So I’m bringing something incredibly sweet and tender to the fandom table~
“And what is it?”, you’ll ask. “One second, please!”, I’ll answer!
*rummages in his pouch with fan-art*
Oh! Who could have guessed! Those are some ✨ship feels✨
Wonderfully soft and delicate those feels are. Without any unnecessary angst or anguish. Just something simple but special. 🤲❤️
And I actually believe that such moments between those two happen on very rare occasions, since Metternich is usually quite unbearable and selfish. He simply doesn’t care much, if only it’s not some kind of crazy passion how it was in case of his most famous lover, Wilhelmina, duchess of Sagan. When this love story gets brought up, I always smirk inwardly, as many found Clemens incredibly calm and rational person who savoured life in complete stillness. Like a snake of some sort. However, this affair ruins his “cold and unapproachable” imagery at once.
Like, yeah, he was tremendously passionate.
“Trop de passion et pas assez d’art”
Those were Wilhelmine’s own words. And what a backstab they were at Metternich’s inflated ego. His love towards her lingered in the air until her dying days but he had probably never forgave her fully because of them.
When it comes to my perception of their… ehem… intimate relationships with Schwarzenberg, I see them as something domestic almost. Metternich already had too much disturbances and emotional upheavals in his life - especially in the period between 1809 and 1815 - and he probably wouldn’t love that strictly secret part of his love life to cause him any kind of trouble. He, personally, would probably bring a lot to the table and light-hearted, caring Schwarzenberg is there for it. He is there with his helping hand or his shoulder on which Metternich can lay his overworked head and contemplate in silence. Or continue to speak out on all the political questions troubling his mind. Or complain. Or weep, since he was very sensitive after all. Or dream. Or simply sleep.
Klemens brings almost nothing into those relationships (only in case when Schwarzenberg gets too overwhelmed in dealing with all that sh*t constantly, thus the situation becomes too dangerous, and, of course, the horny element; perhaps too much horny stuff for Schwarzenberg to handle…) and Karl never asks for something back because that’s just how the things work.
Die natürliche Ordnung der Dinge.
(Well, actually no, Schwarzenberg probably doesn’t think that everything’s fine - nothing is fine! It’s horrible and unjust, especially towards the woman of his dreams, but oh well. He had never cheated on her with any other woman. She is the one and only. But Metternich still comes to him and puts everything in his life on fires of Hell.)
So, that’s the main ideas, I guess, and I’m always ready to share them. And will share more in a foreseeable future! Х)
To sum it all up, this art was actually inspired by a certain passage from a book about Congress of Vienna, where the author spoke about all the exquisite dishes which were offered to the guests and their favourite beverage - coffee, since a lot of those men and women passed sleepless nights dancing, playing cards, etc. And after reading that I thought Metternich could probably be that sort of a person who stays awake on his feet for two or three days fuelled by his own passion and coffee, then, with the last bits of his strength, creeps there where nobody is going to look for him, tries to get on the nerves of his saviour one last time and simply passes out in his embrace, because it was too much. Even for such person as Klemens.
And now they can simply enjoy the moments of peace and complete stillness together.
That’s what they both need after all the trouble. 🤫
#count’s drawings#art#napoleonic era#napoleonic wars#klemens von metternich#karl zu schwarzenberg#metterberg#austrian empire#19th century
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hi gina! I'd like to ask you if you have any recs where Harry and Louis have another couple in the beginning. Thank you love!
Hi sweetheart. I’m not quite sure what you mean. Are you looking for fics where Harry and/or Louis are dating someone else when they meet? I don’t have a lot. But in addition to this list, you can check out my Healing fic rec for fics where one or the other has just gotten out of a bad relationship.
babydoll blues by devilinmybrain / @thedevilinmybrain (E, 112K) At last, the full-fledged, dirty, sugar baby fic we needed. Harry's character is so layered and so beautifully drawn, I just fell in love with him. Louis is sexy and powerful and also tender and sweet, just how I imagine the actual Louis to be. This author wrote one of my favorite fics of 2021, so I was really excited to dive into this one. They really know how to set a scene and draw you in to their characters. Scorching smut scenes, excellent use of side characters, and some angst that fully made me cry. Definitely worth a read!
The Serpent and the Lion by louiseparker (E, 212K) Despite the fact that I have zero interest in Harry Potter, I was pulled into this immediately and read all 200+K in two days. The author does a wonderful job of creating a nuanced OT5 friendship, writes great dialogue, and draws a intricate picture of life at Hogwartz. Most of all, I loved the use of flashbacks to tell the story, the deeply layered characterization of Harry, and how wonderfully he and Louis fit together and brought out the best in each other. I’m so happy I found this one.
Stranger Stars by shaylea / @sunshineandhisrainbows (E, 212K) It’s a really unique fic that takes place on a 6-week safari through Africa. It’s incredibly detailed and the author does a lovely job with the character arcs and with setting the scene.
Tug-Of-War by cherrystreet (E, 63K) I read this one a while ago, so I can’t remember a lot of specifics, but this author is pretty much a sure bet. My notes on this one make me chuckle: “So touching. Tears. Great characterizations. Angst is heart breaking, but relatively brief. Smut is hot af”. Well, there you go!
taking tips and getting stoned by alison (M, 24K) Slightly OOC, but I really enjoyed the realistic approach to the storyline and having a fic about life not turning out the way you thought it might, and the opportunity for second chances.
Into the Deep Below by writeivywrite (E, 19K) Harry, Louis, Zayn. This one is gorgeous and makes me feel like I’m underwater when I read it – I don’t know how to explain that clearly. It’s just very dreamy. The fic is about the early stages of figuring out you love more than one person…and it’s gorgeous.
Until You Remember by Throwthemflowers / @hazzabeeforlou (E, 21K) This fic is just beautiful and full of tenderness and it made me cry.
Have Love, Will Travel by @kingsofeverything (E, 97K) This friends (co-workers) to lovers fic was sweet and romantic. The author does a lovely job of showing their closeness and love for each other even before Harry and Louis admit it to each other.
(your heartbeat) rang true inside my bones by flimsy (E, 33K) Once again Harry agrees to help Louis make an ex jealous,. Didn’t he learn his lesson already? Canon divergent/fake boyfriend fun.
Where Your Heart Is by freetheankles / @anymerrylilthought (E, 154K) This one is an absolute heartbreaker. These are two characters who’ve gone through the wringer, so if you’re looking for rainbows and kittens….not here. But there’s so much flirting and fighting and sexiness and finally FINALLY a happy ending. Again, the link is to a google drive.
Promise Not To Stop When I Say When by becka, mediaville (E, 49K) Ok, read the tags because this has some pairings you may not like, but if you can handle that, this is a particularly filthy fic full of pining. And a lot of smut.
i can’t wait to see what you find by enbyharry / @non-binharry (E, 13K) This is such a well-written exploration of gender, independence, and intimacy. I thought the shift from Louis being a separate third part of a couple’s dynamic to falling for Harry himself was handled very smoothly, and I particularly loved the development of Harry’s character as he opened up and let Louis see more of who he was.
Wholehearted by sweetums (E, 10K)* I haven’t read this one, but other people have told me they like it. And it fits what you’re looking for.
Louis meets Harry through a threesome his boyfriend sets up.
Hopefully this is what you wanted, but if not, LMK.
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