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#because i never. showed her my transition she never saw me post-op she has. no idea who i am
ayekha · 3 years
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mmm
death and abuse in the tags
#yeah. my nana is gonna die soon and i had been thinking about calling her for *months* and never did#because i never. showed her my transition she never saw me post-op she has. no idea who i am#she's gonna die before ever really meeting me and i am never going to get her to see me and i was. selfish?#to just be so consumed with fear that anything i told her would just make its way back to my old man#because it's been no-contact for maybe like#four years now? coming up on five in october i think. and for good reason. and i can't. see him. y'know. like i can't.#and going to hospice going to a service going anywhere he might be is dangerous. i have almost no family because of hiding from him.#and that is usually. fine. i guess. because i hate most of them anyway they're just as cruel and disgusting but.#i love my uncle joe? i love my sister? and i do love my nana. even if she's hurt me so much too.#i want to at least. see her or pay some respects when i can but i don't know *when* i can because of this hurdle.#i can't go to a service. i am literally unable now to go to my own grandmother's funeral service. because her son decided to [redacted] me#how is. how is that fair how is that like. okay. on any level how is it okay that he gets to keep his family and i am excised from it#the same way his first victim was excommunicated and we were all fed lies about why that was.#it's a violent sickening cycle and i should not be losing so much for the simple crime of being. born. being hurt. scared. sick.#it's complete bullshit and he should be dying honestly. he should be dead for everything he's done.#not that nana isn't just Ready. she is. it's been a long time coming she's 85 she's ready.#but the last few years didn't have to be so fraught with tension and anger and running in circles. i could have just had a grandmother.#in a better world i'd be able to say goodbye like any ordinary grandson. and she would know me as her grandson and it'd be okay.#i was going to write a poem about this a few months ago. something about how she'll never see that i'm a better man than her son.#and the best part is i'm only somewhat a man. but i still have him beat. and. no one will ever see it. i do not exist.#a.txt
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itsclydebitches · 3 years
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RWBY Recaps: Volume 8 “Creation”
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Happy Saturday, everyone! Oh man, oh man, oh man. I think I'll need to steer clear of the general RWBY tags this week, simply because I know the sort of responses I'll see to this episode. From smug celebration at Ironwood's downfall, to bad takes about what makes us human, this episode is a petri dish of sensitive material handled insensitively.
Let’s unpack it, shall we? 
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We open on an action that feels like a summery of the last three volumes: a grimm attacks an airship from the front, no doubt killing its pilot, while the other grimm conveniently ignore our heroes, no masking in sight. The group looks a little sad at the destruction around them, but ultimately ignore it because they have bigger, heroic things to do. I could write a whole, additional essay on how the huntsmen code — to protect the people — has been warped and abandoned by our protagonists in their effort to do what they think is right. It's a tale that might have been compelling if only RT knew they were writing it.
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We get a shot of Atlas drones unloading the bomb before one is taken out, presumably by Qrow and Robyn. Segueing to Ironwood and the Ace Ops, they're waiting for Penny to arrive, the former carrying a massive gun presumably capable of capturing her. Despite the horror we saw on their faces last episode at the realization that Ironwood would kill Marrow for speaking up, it seems that now the Ace Ops are entirely in agreement with these measures. A week ago the implication was that they fell back in line out of fear, but now Harriet talks passionately about "putting down" the group if they were stupid enough to accompany Penny. "The General gave his terms." Vine sighs at this, but doesn't actively disagree. He's just "retracing the steps that led us here."
So, congratulations on introducing four new characters, not bothering to develop any of them, killing one off while ignoring Qrow's hand in that, and having the other three become all, "Yeah! Mass murder is a perfect solution!" off screen. Marrow is the only one with something resembling development and, as covered in these recaps, that's been pretty badly executed too.
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Ironwood sends them to deal with Robyn and Qrow after Winter reappears to "assist" him. That gets quotation marks because most viewers at this point have realized that she's who our two birbs spotted in the elevator. Winter isn't on Ironwood's side anymore, she's just skillfully clearing the field for the final attack. Indeed, we get a moment where she hesitantly brings up the bomb and Ironwood responds that he hopes she's not going to try and talk him out of it. No. Winter doesn't think that's possible. This was her final attempt at peace.
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One of the reasons why I think I'll stick to my own blog for a while is because the fandom has a tendency to paint broad personality traits as evil when applied to some characters, yet simultaneously heroic when applied to others, when really it's about how that those traits are used. What I mean is, I've seen a lot of Ironwood critical posts that emphasize how stubborn he is. He thinks he's right and he won't back down. He wont listen to others. He's going through with this plan and if anyone tries to stop him? That's their mistake. Totally evil, right? Except, this is the exact same behavior Ruby displays, particularly in Volumes 6 and 7. She was stubborn about stealing from Argus and continuing the fight to the point where it endangered her and her teammates, to say nothing of the rest of the city. She refused to listen to Qrow, or Ironwood, or the Ace Ops, loudly announcing that she was right about, well, everything. If they didn't agree with her, the options were to leave the group entirely, or fight her. The actual difference here is that the writers have taken Ironwood to an extreme, one that's incredibly easy to understand as bad because it is bad: bombing Mantle has no defense. Ruby pulls the exact same nonsense, it's just not to that same extreme and her actions are followed by scenes that are meant to make us forgive her: a sad look because she didn't mean to get a city attacked by a leviathan grimm, a cry on the staircase because she didn't mean to risk the lives of an entire kingdom... even though she did. Ironwood is the bad guy because he's been written to take specific, OOC actions like shooting unarmed kids. He's not the bad guy because when other characters go, "Don't do this" his response is, "I have to." Because that's been Ruby's motto ever since she "had" to use the Lamp to rip Ozpin’s life story away. RWBY introduced those extreme actions of shooting the youngest in the group (for no reason) and threatening to bomb a city (for no reason) or shooting a councilman (for no reason) because when you remove those you've got a man who looks exactly like our hero. Ironwood's arc has been peppered with these confusing, unpersuasive actions because if you just keep the story as him stubbornly keeping to a plan he thinks will save the world, you're left with the reminder that all Ruby has done lately is stubbornly keep to plans she thinks will save the world. This moment with Winter just highlights how ill thought out Ironwood's descent has been because he does everything Ruby does... with a few, tacked on, “and randomly shoots people!” moments to ensure we understand that he’s definitely evil. No comparison to our heroes here, folks! 
Ironwood is a bad guy now. That’s certain, but he was made that way so the story never had to grapple with the question of what that means for Ruby if we really start condemning things like lying, secrets, stubbornness, or endangering others for the greater good. Well then damn, if we strip away the hypocrisy then she might not be a good person after all. Or the people she’s simplistically labeled as bad might not be the devils Ruby claims they are. 
But that’s a level of nuance RWBY would rather pretend doesn’t exist. 
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All of which is highlighted by Ironwood’s reaction to "Penny." He sighs and sags over the gun, immediately putting it aside. With his hand on her shoulder, Ironwood tells her she's "done the right thing." Precisely the same way Ruby would lower Crescent Rose and give someone a smile when they decided to fall in line with her.
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Which, of course, is the moment when Emerald reveals herself, dispelling the Penny illusion and revealing Team JNPR The Second behind her. She gives a quip about it feeling "weird" to do the right thing before disappearing.
From there the action picks up fast. I really enjoyed this battle simply from a choreography and energy standpoint. It gets the blood pumping, Ironwood's hand-to-hand is spectacular — especially that moment against Ren — and the group actually displays teamwork for the first time in what feels like forever, all of them needed to land a hit on Ironwood. As always, out of the context of the rest of the show it feels and looks great. My primary issue is that we get this fantastic fight against Ironwood. Not Salem, not Cinder, not Watts (like last volume when Ironwood was still a hero), not even Emerald as a means of transitioning from murderous villain to the group's best bud. No, what's arguably the best action sequence in the volume thus far goes to beating up the guy they betrayed from the start. There's no catharsis for me here, only frustration as we watch Ironwood stand in shock as Winter powers up Nora — who's fine now, I guess — and she slams her hammer into his face. 
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It never should have come to this and when a good character is done so dirty, their downfall doesn't evoke the emotions the writers are looking for. Watching Ironwood fall doesn't generate feelings of victory, or even tragedy at a course of events others were powerless to stop. It's just frustration at watching years worth of bad writing, sprinkled with fantastic ideas that never go anywhere.
Oscar gets a few hits in, Ironwood snatches his cane, and just as he's about to throw a punch, Winter arrives with the most dramatic sword slash I've ever seen.
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Ironwood's aura breaks and he falls, unconscious. We cut to an image of a droid's head separated from its body, one of Robyn's arrows through its skull. That doesn't have meaning or anything.
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I suppose I should be grateful they didn't rip Ironwood's arm away during the fight, or outright kill him, though I'm still expecting him to die before the end of the volume.
Hmm. Wouldn't that be something? If after Salem's arrival, freezing cold, a Hound attack, grimm soup, a giant whale, a massive army, and a hack ending in self-destruction, the one character who actually dies is Ironwood. 
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It's looking more and more likely.
Honestly, beyond all the obvious, what's so frustrating about this fight is that characters are only now using their impressive abilities to their fullest. Emerald creates an entire fantasy of what's happening and then straight up disappears, but she only does a half-assed version of that when fighting against Penny. (And really, she put more effort into helping the heroes she just joined over Cinder, the woman she's been obsessed with since the start?) Marrow refuses to use "Stay" against a group they wanted to peacefully arrest because that's just too horrible an act, I guess, but he'll do it on his own teammates the second Qrow and Robyn don’t want to fight.  
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This is what I mean when I say the rules of the world bend to assist the protagonists in absurd ways. It's not nearly as egregious as Amity suddenly being up and running, but the fact that characters become substantially more powerful while fighting for the protagonists than they do against them is still a significant problem.
So Ironwood is down and out. As much as I hated watching that and didn't necessarily want more, am I the only one who felt like it was... a bit lackluster? I mean, the action was great, yes, but relatively short. There was no dialogue, such as another delve into the moral questions that led to this fight in the first place. There certainly wasn’t any hesitance against fighting a former ally. (Again, we’re meant to believe that the Ace Ops won because they just couldn’t bear to fight the group seriously, but every former ally here is capable of wailing on Ironwood without a single pause or pained look?) Ironwood just skillfully blocks for a while, is blindsided by Winter's betrayal, and then falls unconscious. Given that we learn he and Jacques will be evacuated after the rest of the kingdom, it's possible he'll escape somehow and we'll get a fight 2.0, but if not that feels like a rather tame end to the guy forced into the antagonist seat. Plus, what was the point of having Qrow frothing at the mouth to kill him this whole volume? I never wanted that to happen, I'm glad it hasn't, but I'm nevertheless left to ask why we bothered with that eleven episode side plot if we were going to erase it with one sentence from Robyn about Qrow being better than this. If that's all it took, let them work through Qrow's irrational anger while sitting around in a cell.
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Winter tells the group to move onto "phase two" which is when we're treated to a flashback. We return to the ending of the last episode, with Ruby realizing that opening the vault is an option. Jaune, all smiles, goes, "We never considered using what's inside!"
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This is what I mean about no consequences! This is what I mean about it all being a meaningless circle that ends with undeserved praise for the group! We started this horror show with Ironwood going, "We don't have a plan to protect the people, so I'm going to take what people we do have to safety" and the group going, "We don't have a plan either, but we're going to stop you implementing your plan because it's not perfect, risking a kingdom's worth of lives in the process." Now, the group has used two plans, one of which two characters knew about at the start and another they could have devised with the information they had. Oscar and Ozpin's, "We have an all powerful magical blast in our cane" and the group's "What if we used the Staff for something other than raising Atlas?" are both things that could have come up in the office debate. These were both always on the table! Instead, Ruby grew furious over the mere thought of cutting their losses, betrayed Ironwood again, attacked his people, denounced him to the world, and then two days later goes, "Oh wait! We could do something now that we could have easily done before if we hadn't made a needless enemy!" 
Everyone realizes how much worse they made things, right? Turning against Ironwood, bringing everyone left in Mantle directly under Atlas, sitting around while an army was devoured, drawing it out until Penny was hacked... all of it would have been avoided if the group had thought and discussed things for a few minutes, not jumping straight to violently resisting what Ironwood came up with first. "We never considered..." Ruby says. Yeah, you didn't, except that's not something to smile about. The group made the situation a thousand times worse with their reaction when they could have just magically evacuated the kingdom from the start. “Maybe we could use it to save Penny and get everyone in Atlas and Mantle back to safety." Nothing has changed! They had this ability the whole time! Nothing about the last twelve episodes led them here, they just randomly thought of it after RT had padded the volume with needless drama. Considering that they're heading to Vacuo now, we could have just made this the finale of Volume 7 instead: big fight with Ironwood, revelation, get everyone  evacuated while Salem attacks, leave her behind, then Volume 8 begins in Vacuo with the group knowing Salem is out there looking for them. This entire volume has been pointless. What did they accomplish?
Oscar got kidnapped and beat up, Nora was scarred, Ruby and Yang realized horrible things about Summer, and the whole world is panicking about a witch. Good things are... Ren and Ruby unlocked some semblance stuff? Weiss loves her brother again after he proved himself useful to her? Great work, team.
So this one moment makes everything they've done up to this point useless and, of course, once thought up the plan goes off without a hitch. Note that the summary of this episode says, "It's risky, dangerous, and nearly impossible — but it's the only plan they've got." Nearly impossible? That's a whole lot of talk for a plan that was implemented perfectly.
There is, admittedly, one snag, but one that is likewise made meaningless just seconds later. We'll get to that.
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We see Winter call Weiss who also smiles at hearing from her sister. Obviously interactions like the group's with Emerald are the bigger concern, but it's still an issue that no one reacts as they should to people reappearing in their lives. Rather, RWBY continually confuses audience knowledge with character knowledge. We know Winter is on their side now, but Weiss hasn't a clue. Last she saw, she and Winter were agreeing to head down different paths. She has no reason to think her sister isn't loyal to Ironwood, so why isn't the group treating this call with suspicion? What if it's Ironwood trying to mess with them through a presumably safe party? I swear to god, with any consistency in the story this group would be dead ten times over because their decisions are so stupid. Oscar decides to believe in the guy currently beating him to a pulp, the group decides to trust a villain over a flawed ally, and now they see Ironwood’s second calling and are like, “Great, big sister Winter is checking in!” There’s a difference between a hopeful story filled with second chances and characters whose reliance on the narrative bending to assist them makes them come across as insanely naive. 
None of which even touches on characters forgetting that other characters are presumably dead. Ironwood shot Oscar off the edge of Atlas, but doesn't react to learning he was kidnapped, or when he shows up to the fight. Thanks to Marrow's comment, Winter thinks YJOR have perished in the whale, but also has no reaction to them appearing to help with this plan. Absolutely nothing is followed up on.
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We then get a flashback within the flashback (fun) of Winter — shock — not arresting Marrow. It's precisely as I assumed, with Marrow angrily asking why she hit him and Winter responding with, “Because you were about to get killed if I didn’t do something!” As I said last recap, I feel like I should let the marginalized groups lead this discussion, but I do want to add that no matter how well intentioned — or strategic, as I mentioned last time — the imagery itself is still harmful. No matter the context, we were still left with white woman Winter putting her knee on black man Marrow's back to arrest him, and it’s an image that everyone in the U.S. should be familiar with the horror of. Far more of a problem than the (presumed) ignorance of this scene is, I think, the choice to make Winter entirely unrepentant. I think some of this discomfort could have been alleviated if RT had written Winter as apologetic, contrite that it came to that and asking Marrow to understand that she only did it as a means of assisting him. Asking his forgiveness. Instead, we get this
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So what, the only emotion we have room for is gratitude that Winter beat him up? Yikes.
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As a lighter side note, I find the animation here unintentionally hilarious. Winter's assistive device makes her shoulders look too high, making this gesture more, "Woman exaggeratedly pouts about not getting ice cream for dinner" and less, "Woman sternly closes off during a disagreement about saving lives and betraying their general." Gotta find our humor where we can, right?
What's intentional, but far less funny, is the needless animation to show us that, yes, Marrow is peering at Winter calling Weiss. Oh, the shenanigans. 
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The elevator opens where Qrow and Robyn spot them. "Speaking of help," Winter says, as if she has any reason to believe Qrow didn't kill Clover. He and Robyn lower their weapons a bit, as if they have any reason to believe Winter and Marrow aren't still loyal to Ironwood. Would it really be so hard to have Winter immediately throw up her hands in the face of their almost-attack, blurting that she's not their enemy and needs their help, please listen? Again, RWBY can't remember which characters know what, let alone what their motivations and reactions should be.
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We then enter the third part of the flashback where everyone piles into the Schnee dining room and discusses doing the things they could have done from the start. I'm metaphorically banging my head against that table. In RWBY's favor though, we also get a long shot of Jaune continuing to boost Penny’s aura.
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Though it's only one of many issues, just the other day I asked, "Hey, why has Jaune always needed to hold onto the person he's assisting, but now suddenly he can touch Penny once and the boost remains?" It still doesn't explain why he was letting go before/why him needing to boost her continuously didn't put a hard time limit on their plan — not that Mantle's hour limit meant a thing — but at least they're showing more of that here.
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Oscar notes that Atlas has enough gravity dust that it won't fall immediately when they use the Relic, but they will have to move fast to ensure no one is underneath. Yeah, like all the civilians you put there. He also cautions that the Staff isn't a "magic wand" that they can just wave to make all their problems go away... even though that's precisely what they're going to do. Ozpin gets some lines that aren't apologies or followed by attacks — hallelujah! — about how the Staff's spirit is a "character" and requires that you be able to precisely explain anything you want him to make. Blueprints, examples, a firm knowledge of how this will be accomplished — all of it is required to actually get what you're after. That's a cool limitation. It's just too bad we didn't know about it episodes ago, forcing our heroes to find ways to meet those requirements. Instead, they already have everything ready to go the moment they learn about it: Penny has her own schematics and Whitley apparently has knowledge of the entire kingdom after sending some ships out. Normally I'd go, "Really?" but I'm still just struck by how much good he's done compared to everyone else in this room. Your show is seriously broken when the side character the writers didn't even want the audience to like until a few episodes ago is more active, mature, and sensible than the heroes.
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From there we see the group implementing the plan. They fly up through the hole Oscar left, straight to the vault. Penny opens it without any trouble and Ruby uses her speed to grab the Relic and stop time, halting her self-termination. I do like that combination of skill and their knowledge of how this magic works. That felt like a smart move. What's interesting though is that the Relic appears to stop time in the entire kingdom. We see people in Mantle and Atlas slowing to a halt too. I assume no one remembers that happening after time restarts, otherwise people would be freaked out by suddenly being frozen in place.
Wouldn't that have been cool though? The group often takes a while to use the Relics, either deciding what they need, or watching Jinn's information, so what if you had a population that blinks and suddenly, from their perspective, half an hour has passed? How long might Ozpin have sat on his knees after Jinn told him he wasn't able to defeat Salem? How long was that space frozen? We could have had a world built around rumors and fairy tales. Not the random stories Ozpin brings up to make a point and that we never hear about again, but tiny details that foreshadow these revelations. A Beacon where the kids tell each other spooky stories of people suddenly losing time, once a whole day. The wives, sisters, daughters, and nieces who disappear, or wake up one day with horrifying, unnatural powers. We see magic influence the world around it, but we've seen very little of the world reacting to that influence. The one time I can think of is Blake reading a book about "a man with two souls," the fiction clearly inspired by knowledge of Ozpin. And indeed, it felt great to recognize that as a significant detail and then be proven right years later as the lore was revealed. We could have gotten so much more of that if RWBY was better planned out.
I'm getting off track though. As time stops we see a series of images: Ironwood being led to a cell with Jacques, Penny succumbing to her hack, Team JNPR The Second preparing to contact the kingdom about what's going on. Then everyone is distracted by the giant, blue, buff Ambrosius who comes out of the Staff.
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...there's a lot of innuendo in that last statement lol. At least RWBY is committed to the crazy design they chose? I was never particularly comfortable with the image of characters gaping up at a giant, naked woman in chains, so it's nice to balance that a bit with an equally giant, naked dude in chains.
From here things get confusing. In all honesty, I'm not sure if this is another moment where RWBY is trying to pass off a retcon as the group being brilliant, or if I, as an individual, simply didn't follow the logic. I won't bother to rehash the slow, meandering way that Ruby reveals their plan — that certainly didn't help with the clarity. Not in an episode where we didn’t even know these rules ahead of time — but it boils down to this:
The moment they have Ambrosius create something new Atlas will start to fall. Two of his creations can't exist at the same time.
He needs clear instructions about what he's making in order to create it.
The group has brought him Penny's schematics so that he understands how she's built.
They want, specifically, "a new version of her... using her exact robot parts."  
They can't just create an exact duplicate of Penny because that would carry the virus with it.
They can't create an exact duplicate without the virus because that Penny would cease to exist as soon as they used Ambrosius to make an evacuation plan instead.
So they essentially want Ambrosius to create a new Penny by removing all the robot parts from the Penny that currently exists, carrying the virus with them, and leaving only the human parts of Penny behind: her aura/soul. Then, the purely robot version is destroyed when Ambrosius creates something new.
Except... this new Penny, this human Penny, still needed a human body. That's what Ambrosius created and that's the snag I don't understand. They want a version of Penny that's just her aura, just her soul, but that soul still needs something to be housed in. Ambrosius himself notes that. At first I thought the group would just have some wisp-like version of Penny they'd have to find a new body for — perhaps leading to a new one for Ozpin too — but she's just... given a human body when he takes the technology away, something she absolutely didn't have before. That is Ambrosius' creation. That is what should have disappeared along with the removed parts of Penny, leaving only her soul — what Ambrosius didn't touch — behind. Instead, the plot oh so conveniently has Penny get a new body for free and it's untouched as they move onto the next task.
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Ruby drops a casual line about Ambrosius not being able to kill, or destroy, or something, which I think is meant to be the justification here. The rule (which, again, we JUST learned) about not killing anyone supersedes the rule of two creations not allowed to exist, allowing Penny to stick around. But even if that’s true, it’s a load of bull. What, does the magic think no one in an entire city might die if the floating mechanism is removed and it plummets to the ground? Ambrosius didn’t say, “Sorry, can’t stop floating Atlas because thousands of people are still here and they’ll die if I create something new,” but we’re supposed to believe the group skated by on, “Sorry, can’t destroy the last creation like everything else because there’s a single person still using that body and she’ll die if I create something new”? 
Seriously, did I miss something? Or is this another, "Amity is ready because the group needs it" situation? The rule of creations ceasing to exist is bent because the group needs to have their friend around. Ambrosius is certainly enthusiastically complimentary, saying how "smart" the group is and that they've "done their homework," but I'm not so sure. It feels like a moment where the show is (once again) insistent that the group is far more talented and brilliant than their actions actually imply. It's only the rules of the world twisting and turning that allows for their success. To say nothing of how the episode dropped all these rules on the viewer in a ten minute info dump, ensuring we didn’t have any time to think about them before the deed was done. 
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It doesn't add up for me and honestly, even putting that aside? I hate this. I absolutely despise it. Look, if it turns out this really does make sense then props to the group for coming up with that plan. Our snag aside, the rest is a legitimately well thought out wish. I don't have a problem with the execution so much as the message. I've been saying since Volume 7 that RWBY has done Penny a disservice in terms of her "real girl" narrative. Whereas before we had a firm message that you don't need "squishy guts" to be human, to be real, Volume 8 continued to carry us further and further into the idea that it is necessary. That Penny's body is entirely inhuman, something to hate, but at least her soul is human and good. That's what the virus arc taught us: your terrible, technological body might be betraying you, but hold onto the parts of you that are really human. I hated that too, but I never thought RWBY would go this far. They made Penny fully human and went, “THIS is the version that always should have existed.”
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And this isn't just me reading into the implications. It's right there in the text. Blake says that they're looking for “Penny, the girl who’s always been there underneath." Meaning, underneath the metal. The girl exists trapped in the robot body. Yang holds up her arm and says that the metal is only "extra," it's not really who you are. 
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That gets into two perspectives on disability that RWBY just doesn't have the nuance for: what's an integral and celebratory part of one person's existence can be seen as something separate and discomforting to another. Though there are many people with disabilities who would happily cure themselves with a magic Staff if given the chance, there are just as many who say no, this is a part of my identity. I don't want to change, I just want the world to accommodate my existence. However, RWBY takes a hard stance here, saying that any metal in your body is intrinsically bad. We didn’t use to have this take, but now the show has embraced it. Blake says the real Penny is trapped in there. Yang's words implies that she'd get rid of this "extra" bit of her if possible. Mercury with his metal legs is the enemy. Ironwood with half his metal body is the enemy. Whereas once difference was truly accepted, now it's shunned and fixed whenever possible. Those who can't be fixed, like Yang, must simply deal with the lot they've been dealt, reassuring themselves that the metal isn't really them. But Penny? Penny they can fix.
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So they do and the very first thing Penny does is hug Ruby, exclaiming, “Do hugs always make you feel this warm inside? Wow. More!” and proceeds to hug all the others. 
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What's the underlying message there? Penny didn't understand hugs before this moment. She never experienced the "warmth" of them while an android, despite the fact that here warmth is entirely metaphorical and has nothing to do with a literally cold body. RWBY really went and said that the "real girl” android was never actually real at all — not as real as she could be — because it's only when she's given "squishy guts" that she understands the true happiness of a hug.
Wow.
I mean seriously, wow. 
Never-mind that, you know, we've seen that happiness and warmth since she was first introduced.
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RWBY is really rewriting all the core themes introduced in Volumes 1-3 and it sucks. The show is absolutely the worse for it.
To say nothing of all the other disservices to Penny's character here. There's all this buildup about whether she'll still be the same Penny once the wish is complete, but of course she is. We wouldn't want to have Penny struggle when she becomes something other than what she's always been, would we? After all, it took Yang an entire volume to work through the shock of a metal arm, but taking away a metal body for a human one is in no way traumatic. Having a normal, human body is intrinsically a good thing! Of course Penny accepts it with nothing but smiles. Becoming human is celebratory, but becoming more machine is a horror.
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She gets to watch her body self-destruct, glitching out and collapsing in front of her. But again, nothing to unpack there that can't be covered with a hand over her mouth.
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There's no discussion of whether Penny still has the Maiden powers, or whether a wish like that would mess with the transfer in any way. How did the group know this action wouldn't register as a clear-cut death, forcing the power out of her and into someone new? Obviously they couldn’t know, but no one even thought to bring it up? 
And the entire time they're formulating their evacuation plan, there's no talk of whether these portals will appear before everyone currently alive in the kingdom. I mean, if they do then Ironwood and Jacques can just waltz through and escape into Vacuo. If they don’t, then Maria and Pietro don't necessarily have a way out. We still don't know if they're stuck floating in Amity, or if Amity crashed, or if they made their way back to Mantle or Atlas. More importantly, the characters don't know. I have no problem with RWBY keeping that a surprise until the finale, but I absolutely take issue with Pietro's daughter walking through a portal, seemingly not to care whether her father is going to make it out too.
It's been the same with Qrow and his nieces' relationships. The show is good at insisting that these families love each other because they hug and smile while on screen together, but when shit is actually going down, none of them care about pesky things like disappearances, arrests, or “The last time I saw you, you were with an old woman on a damaged station after a villain attack, potentially stranded in deadly cold if life support failed.” 
So yeah, this entire arc with Penny has been a disaster. From throwing away her framing subplot, to giving her a virus that did absolutely nothing, to giving her the Maiden powers which she's also done nothing with, to erasing her android status for a “She's really human now” message, Penny has been done dirty by the show these last two volumes. Not nearly to the extent Ironwood has, but still. At this point I wish they'd just kept her dead dead. Why do I want her back when that resurrection produces no reaction, her conflicts lead nowhere, and one of the core things that made Penny Penny has now been magically erased?
I've been saying for weeks that killing Penny off and keeping Penny around each had serious downsides attached, yet I never expected RWBY to do BOTH.
Also, I'm warding off any, "But Pinocchio was made into a real boy too" defenses. RWBY is not Pinocchio. Penny is not Pinocchio. I thought the allusion was going to be the Pinocchio inspired girl heading into the whale, not the show forcing the exact plotline  —  down to a blue, magical creature — onto a character whose entire journey has been about accepting herself as an android. Congratulations, RT. You just obliterated years of work.
Again, if you'd like an example of how to do this far better:
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As Penny's character falls apart, Atlas shakes, alerting Jaune and the other that a new wish has been granted. Jaune pecks at the screen and realizes "That did, uh, something…?” but doesn’t realize that there's a giant, red "LIVE" up in the corner.
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Jaune tries to warn the entire kingdom about their plan, but what he actually says is
“Atlas is falling, but — !”
And then the communications cut out. 
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Watts, perhaps?
Our heroes are really good at saying things that make large populaces panic, huh? This is the one (1) snag in their "impossible" plan, but as said above, it doesn't amount to anything. We get a shot of Nora, horrified at the thought of kingdom-wide communications being down, but literally seconds later Team RWBY has made portals appear that everyone can walk through. So... why do we care about communications? More importantly, why does the show try to make us care? So much time is spent getting the viewer invested in problems that never come to mean anything. 
Including the problem of Salem herself.
Because the group successfully creates that evacuation plan. This is it. Everyone is leaving while Salem still reforms. 
Yang asks if they can use the vaults themselves as a single point for everyone to go to and Ambrosius agrees. So everyone is going to pile into the Vacuo vault that can only be opened by an unknown Maiden? They're going to put an entire kingdom's worth of people, including their enemies, into the vault where the Relic of Destruction is? Yeah, that's great. Prior to this — like if this had been the plan at the end of Volume 7 — I would have 100% agreed that these risks are better than death by Salem/grimm/cold. Now though, Oscar as axed Salem for an unknown length of time, the cold is having no impact on the civilians outside, and the grimm only attack background military personnel that supposedly no one cares about. They couldn't have spent another few minutes (especially with time stopped!) to figure out a means of getting to Vacuo that doesn't involve revealing and providing access to the location of a super secret vault? To say nothing of what they're going to do if Salem wakes up and snags one of those portals for herself. Two kingdoms for the price of one!
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But that's what they're going with. Weiss gives Ambrosius a schematic of the kingdom, I guess, and he makes branching pathways appear with numerous portals for everyone to step through. They'll enter through one and, when they exit another, will be in Vacuo. Easy peasy, right? Especially since Ambrosius doesn't seem to have any limitations about how often his power is used. Is it three creations every 100 years like Jinn? We're not told, at least not to my recollection. However, I was expecting there to be a waiting period, that they'd fix Penny, go to evacuate the kingdom, and learn that sorry, I can't make another creation just yet. It feels like the sort of shit move these beings would pull — "Don't cry to me when it's not what you wanted" —  it would have been another commentary on the group's insistence on putting friends over the people's safety (like demanding the Ace Ops not bomb the whale because of Oscar), and crucially, would have kept the action in Atlas. Isn't that what this volume is? The battle for and potential destruction of the Kingdom of Atlas? We have two episodes left and, unless something unexpected happens, we're moving that action to Vacuo. Why? 
Meanwhile, Penny's corpse is just chilling in the background 😬
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While all this is going on, Winter reassures Jacques that he and Ironwood will be evacuated too, though she makes it clear saving him was Weiss' idea. It checks out, considering Weiss is the one who turned her father's arrest into a joke last volume. Winter still takes his abuse seriously.
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The group prepares to leave with a celebratory, "We did it!" from Weiss. I'm still banging my head against that dining room table. Before they can pass through the portal though, Ambrosius leaves them with one, dire warning: "Do not fall." 
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In any other story a line like that is a neon sign announcing to the audience that someone will absolutely fall, and maybe they will, but RWBY has dodged consequences so often I wouldn't be surprised if this was merely another way to string us along. Remember all the hype surrounding Salem? The cold combined with her army and magic? How she was going to decimate Atlas and leave our group broken in a Fall 2.0?
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I mean, we still have two episodes left. Forty minutes of content. Salem might still decimate them, especially since something has to happen in the finale. But god, it's a problem that we've come this far without a payoff. Salem randomly decided not to attack anyone, was stopped by a weapon added in solely for this purpose, and now the whole kingdom is being evacuated with a plan the group could have used at the start. This volume really is meaningless. 
“We go to vacuo and hope we’ve thought of everything” they say as the camera zooms in on Cinder's smiling face. For the second week in a row.
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Bingo time!
Winter betrayed Ironwood, the group used the Staff of Creation, and I'm axing Maria on behalf of Pietro. You can't have the guy's daughter become human — after he was killing himself to give her his aura?? — and magically walk to Vacuo, not knowing if he's even survived since she last saw him, and expect me to think he hasn't been forgotten. Same with Maria. Has the group mentioned her since Amity cut out, notably for reasons they couldn’t explain? Of course not. Did they care to find out what happened? Of course not. I have no doubt they'll both re-appear in the next two episodes, Pietro crying over how perfect his girl is now and Maria congratulating the group on their actions, but we're still marking it.
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This is the ugliest thing I’ve ever created, I hope you all are enjoying it :D
Another week, another couple feet added to the hole we’re digging. I know I keep saying I have no idea what's going to happen next... but I have no idea what's going to happen next. A Vacuo ending was not in the cards, not outside of them miraculously showing up in ships. Maybe they have been on their way to Atlas (somehow...) and will arrive precisely when everyone has left! Anything is possible at this point.
See you next Saturday, everyone. Hold on until then lol. 💜
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youranxiousnerd · 3 years
Text
Spring Break Thoughts
bc i want to get stuck in an airport and break into first class
spoilers below
EJ DOING THE INTRO
the most...profound intro?
“maybe it’s really about other people” looks at gina
i have jumped on the portwell train
when i first saw they were doing zoom backgrounds i was not on board, but they’ve grown on me carlos’ sucks
miss jenn and the zoom backgrounds
NI NI HEL LO
nini didn’t you get cut?
you know miss jenn they could get together out side of school (at least the kids who are here)
olivia is so pretty
aww carlos called miss jenn his madrina
HA I KNEW IT OF COURSE CARLOS INVITED SEB
seblos tension, ill get to that later
they’re so passive aggressive guys i love it
ASH AND EJ
CASWELL COUSINS YESSS
“You guys are watching like, old, old movies”
“This is why we’re soulmates” the redyln goal has been reached bye
this...this is the only line they get?
miss jenn has obviously not gotten the memo
three weeks and you havent blocked act two
“not it”
of course sebby is the last one to leave
“bye” awww miss jenn
GINA THAT LITTLE GIG YESSSS
just one complement after another ej
AHHHH EJ WITH PAINTED NAILS YESSSSS
he looks so good ej should do it more often
ej fell hard guys
jack in the background doing tik toks i cant
gina and signs
RICKY IN A BLANKET
ugh its lynne
i dont care enough to spell her name right
“just being a burrito here”
bitter ricky, i feel ya
“I’m sorry to hear that’s it over” *smiles*
nini you should have just posted a video
ope empty notebook
awww ej’s insta
gina and jack
thats it
“she changed her name” nina is literally her real name 
the leg pull away
ricky and bedding is my new favorite ship besides therapy
“Your boy Jack”
when i first saw the promo for this nini scene i was worried it was gonna be another solo (shes had like 16)
I SPY WITH MY LITTLE EYE A RAINBOW HEART
my gay heart is bursting
nina really said “rainbows are awesome” this episode
and the necklace is off
guys i love improv scenes
it was so goood
soooo howie and kourt just get no closure after that killer song last week? no nothing? 
BAHAHAHA KOURTNEY BREAKING UP
i love kourtney
sofia is so pretty
okay i dont ship jack and gina but they’re fun together, little chaos demons
THE DUKE SWEATSHIRT AHHHH
“my friends, like, my castmates, they think it sucks what you did on opening night”
good talk, long overdo. nothing is solved by any means but little steps
the therapy line omfg 
“HI, CUPCAKE”
“I’ll meet you in the pool” there is an ocean right behind you
 “Don’t ask me”
“Ashlyn, Big Red, Miss. Jenn, Carlos”
the way seb’s face just DROPS when he mentions carlos
“Are you guys fighting” big red looked so happy omfg
“That would imply that we’re speaking”
“Who has time to talk when you’re busy posting selfies with random guys in a cabana”
guys i had to pause for five minutes because i was dying
jealous seb... where did you come from?
ALRIGHT IT IS TIME TO TALK ABOUT SEBLOS!!!!
first off, it seems the writers love to make major seblos things happen off screen. examples include there pinning and officially getting together
where... where did all this tension come from? it has been light the past two episodes then bam, everything they say to each other is bitter. since when is seb jealous? the writers have so many other conflicts to talk about and they choose jealous seb? off all thing?!?! im honestly kind of disappointed because there are so many other things to talk about from previous episodes and instead they choose this?!?!?! hopefully this isn’t the only thing that is addressed next week, it cant be. they better talk about the constant “no seb” because its an issue. 
moral of the story is i hope the fight next episode isn’t about seb being jealous bc there is so much more to talk about
i am loving passive aggressive seb like i hope that doesn’t go away when their conflict is resolved bc it’s awesome
HERE are my thoughts on the zoom call
okay seb’s line about doing public makes sense with the full episode
everyone on the call is just like “wtf happened to my otp”
EJJJJ
EJJJJ I LOVE YOU
THE BEST EJ SCENE 
“Hi Nini!” ejjjj
you have to watch the scene twice, one to watch nini and ashlyn and another for ej
EJ AND THE PUPPET THATS IT IM DONE
sassy gina i love her
guys i just love everybody
ASHLYN AND NINI I MISSED THIS DUO GAHHHHHH THEY’RE ADORABLE
ej is a child i love it
ricky i feel you with the songwriting
look at big red being best friend of the year now give him a plot line
i am under the impression jack recorded gina 
SHIT THE CANDLE TO LAMP TRANSITION YESSSSS
i love transitions and that was it
matt is ripped
julia lester showed up this season. queen shit 
she is perfect
YES BIG RED AND KOURTNEY DANCING I WANT MOREEEE
i am so confused with seb’s gloves
that has been bugging me for two days 
carlos has more style then a hawaiian shirt and khakis
im in heaven the harmonies are soooo good
they are amazing they sound so good
you can hear all there voices
julia popped off
aint seen nothin is really good, i wasn’t sure about it at first but its grown. they sound so damn good the talent they hold. not the best song but its fun
the video actually looks better than i thought it would
“Wow” me too richard
jack is fun, i’d be okay if he comes back. he is a little chaos demon.
i like how the writers didn’t make them romantic (for once), hopefully gina got his number bc i would
i want to be stuck at an airport with jack
“let you go” is genius. so far the best original song this season. josh has been killing it lately. this is the ballad ricky deserves. lyrical genius. he sounds sooo good.
the one time i agree with lynne
EJ YOU CAMEEEEEE
OMFG THEY’RE ADORABLE
PORTWELLLLLLL BABY WHOOOP
HE IS GONNA TREAT YOU SO GOOD GINA 
HE BROUGHT YOU FOOD AND TOOK YOUR BAG 
GAHHHHHH 
nOoOoOoOo thats it?!?! i cannot wait a week i refuse
i normally don’t talk about promos but episode 10 (im a sucker for sleepover episodes) is my most anticipated episode so we gonna do it. 
for starters ricky has a guitar, so he might sing?
AWW THE SETS THEY ARE SO PRETTY
ooo lily is back?
blueprint?
ashlyn and ricky where have you been?!?!
seb and the girls yesss
since in a heartbeat is next episode seb probably leaves? i hope it is a private moment
oh please talk about your other issues pleaseee
“why did i never hear about this?” nina no, it was an accident alright?
gina and nini haven’t interacted this season and the first thing they do is fight.
lets hope there “beef” doesn’t take the a slot 
maybe another seblos kiss?
did you know i love seblos
i have stocked up my tears for next week
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razberryyum · 3 years
Text
Scumbag System (SVSSS donghua) Episode 10 Thoughts (spoilers)
(covers SVSSS chaps 24 - 26, BC Novels Translations)
And thus the first season of the SVSSS donghua comes to an end...rather weirdly abruptly to be honest, but more on that later. Obviously I love the donghua. It was not perfect, but it still exceeded my expectations. I truly appreciate what they were able to do within their budget constraints and I think they captured the spirit of the source material perfectly, which is really all I hope for when it comes to adaptations.  The writing was strong, the humor hit the spot always (for example, when poor Shizun got motion sickness from sword riding, I guffawed), and they also gave us some of the most beautiful characters I’ve ever seen on screen, especially with Shen Qingqiu, Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge. I really, really hope they release official figurines for them. I’m going to start saving my money now just for that possibility.
Even though their time together in this episode was short, the BingQiu love was definitely strong. They gave them a combo move that was not in the source material: for someone like me who grew up watching Cantonese dramas, two characters who have a combo sword move (”雙劍合璧”!) are usually a couple so I was especially tickled by this addition. I am always thankful to the donghua team for the little Easter Eggs they give us for BingQiu, like the way Binghe's eyes lit up when he sees SQQ... 
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or when SQQ touches him...
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Once again, for those not in the know, it can easily be interpreted as a disciple just being devoted and filial to his Shizun. But for those of us who have read the novel, of course we know it’s indication of Bingmei falling in love with SQQ. I love how subtle yet significant these little expressions of Binghe’s are, and I hope they continue on with these little touches even in the next season. 
Of course then there are the more obvious gestures, like that HUG:
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It lasted for a good 15 seconds and oh my God look at the Binghe’s hand placement!  There was totally nipple groppage happening there! This wasn’t in the book by the way...SQQ didn’t get woozy and Binghe most definitely didn’t have to catch him like some fainting damsel, so we have the donghua team to thank for this wonderful moment of (sexy) physical contact between the two of them. 
The donghua team was also especially generous in this episode since not only did we get some BingQiu love, but we got a pinch of LiuShen and QiJiu love too.
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LQG’s eyes were on SQQ the entire time! And then Yue Qingyuan as usual took any opportunity he got to touch his Qingqiu.  So all shippers were fed. Hell, they even threw in some more straight-baiting again so peeps who are watching the show for the “straight” romance between Luo Binghe and his never-to-be-future-wife Qin Wanyue were fed too since the scene where Binghe gives her the handkerchief to wipe away her tears were not in the chapters of the book for this episode, and racking my brain I don’t even think it was in the book, period. I’m trying to remember if that handkerchief even holds any significance but even if it does, it’s all for naught since we know Qin Wanyue is at most just a minor side character. She does pop up again later on but then is mostly forgotten, so...not quite sure what that moment was all about other than to, I don’t know, throw off the censors?
I’m also not sure why we spent so much time with Liu Mingyan and Gongyi Xiao in this episode. Nothing against them personally, I like both characters very much (despite my previous complaints about GYX’s character design), and it’s not that they don’t deserve more screen time, but this was the season finale! Even though the next season has been announced, God knows when we’ll see it next year and how many episodes it would be, so every minute of screen time matters! That’s why I was a bit puzzled that they used up half of the episode showing LMY basically facing the same perils with her group of fellow disciples as before and GYX just running from that huge serpent. Even if that thing DOES turn out to be Zhuzhi-lang, it was still a bit much. They weren’t exactly character building scenes either so...why? Budget reasons? Didn’t have enough money to pay SQQ’s voice actor (Wu Lei-laoshi) so they had to stick in miscellaneous scenes to lessen his screen time? 
I’m kidding of course. God I hope that wasn’t the reason because that would just be sad.
Speaking of miscellaneous scenes though, what was going on with these two dudes?
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I gotta admit, I’m a bit salty that these two mob characters got to do what our main couple can’t. What’s their story? Why do they get special privileges? Damn these nobodies. XD
All kidding aside, I have to say, of all the episodes this season, this might be the weakest one, not only because of the “filler” scenes, but also, the way the episode ended was so odd, especially for a season finale. The season basically ended on a scene transition. Not a cliffhanger, just a scene transition, and then cut to credits. What?? Why??? It’s almost as if they just ran out of time so had to stop the show all of a sudden. And then as if to make up for it, they added post-credit scenes which, honestly blew me away because it was so unexpected. It was indeed almost enough to make me completely forgive the weakness of the episode as a whole and that weird-ass ending.
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I teared up!  The scene was kind of chopped up, didn’t even flow that smoothly, but I still got emotional! I’m sure when I see this scene in its entirety next season I am just going to be destroyed. I think they made it even more gut-wrenching than it was in the novel. Looks like the donghua team really aren’t gonna hold back when it comes to delivering the BingQiu knives. 
We also got to see Mobei-jun appear in the post-credits scene; I guess they had to stick him in there since he was featured in the poster for this season, so it would have been weird if he didn’t at least make an appearance.
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I immediately thought of him as Sephiroth’s younger cousin when I first saw him on the poster and I still feel that way. Anyone related to Sephiroth, I will approve and instantly have affection for. For the MoShang shippers’ sake, I hope the Shang Qinghua they create for him will be just as pretty. I think I can now safely discard my guess from last time and also that moon-faced bearded ojisan others have guessed. We actually got a glimpse of the real deal in this sequence:
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They strategically made him blurry so you can’t really make out his features, but what we still can tell from there is that he does not have facial hair (hence, he cannot be the ojisan) and the hair crown he’s wearing is silver and different from the twinky sect leader. So I guess we’ll be getting a fresh out of the microwave Airplane Bro instead of any of the no-name potential cannon fodder we’ve already seen. 
We’ll probably get the abyss opening up in maybe even the first episode of next season but that’ll still leave a lot of ground to be covered in just 10 episodes (rumored). There haven’t been any talk about a third season, but I really hope it’ll happen, even though it might take them a while to make it. I know it’s premature to even think of a third season when we haven’t even gotten an actual release date for the second, but I’m greedy because I already miss the donghua. This season was over so quickly, I’m already mourning the lack of new episodes. I hope we get the second season in the first quarter of next year and then by some miracle, a third or even fourth to properly finish out the story. I know we will never get the FULL story, but as long as they keep the spirit of BingQiu’s love and continue to hint at it like they’ve been doing this season, I will be more than satisfied. 
And while I’m wishful thinking for new seasons, I hope we also get a BingQiu duet and character songs. I love the opening and ending theme this season, if they want to save money I totally don’t mind if they just use the same OP/ED themes in the next season as well, but I hope they throw in a good BingQiu insert song and then release some individual character songs as well. I’m still not a fan of Binghe’s voice, but maybe they can have someone else do his vocals for the songs. SVSSS is the older son of MXTX’s works, I feel like it already got short-shrifted in terms of adaptation since it got the lesser budget compared to MDZS and TGCF. Hopefully with how popular the donghua is this season, it will be given a bigger budget next season so they can bring to life all the subsequent proceedings from the book properly. And whatever they’re paying Wu Lei-laoshi, SQQ’s voice actor, they should double it because that man is just amazing. I worship his voice and performance. I wish he would read the audiobook version of the the novel. I would listen to the hell out of that.  I have always loved SQQ, but if I’m going to be honest, I came into the show just a little more excited about seeing Bingge being brought to life. I still love Binghe of course, in all his phases, however, now,  because of Wu Lei-laoshi’s stellar voice performance (and of course SQQ’s beautiful looks), I’m leaving this season absolutely head over heels about SQQ/Shen Yuan. Also thanks to the show, I’m completely obsessed with Liu Qingge as well.  So for those two reasons, I will eternally be grateful to the donghua team.  
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cheerystarlightwish · 4 years
Text
Millionaire Detective Balance: Unlimited Episode 9 Thoughts
Hi guys! Episode 9 got me thinking and though I didn’t want to create theories or analyzations about Fugou Keiji because we are nearing the end already, I simply can’t help myself. To be honest, I wanted to create some earlier and chat with people but my schedule didn’t side with me for the past three months. Nevertheless, here I am better late than never and excited to read other peoples’ reactions, analyzations, and theories as well. Anyways, For those who haven’t watched the recent episodes yet, there are spoilers ahead as I share my thoughts so please be cautioned! Thank you, have a nice day, and stay safe!
(Disclaimer: Any similarities with other posts are purely coincidental. Moreover, if that does happen, I am glad that there are many who think so too because that increases the probability of the statement, thought, analyzation, or theory being somewhat true.)
______________________________________________________________
Oh.my.goodness.
If I were to summarize my reaction for Ep.9? it would be those. It was nothing short of thrilling and is a perfect stepping point before we get to the climax of the show. Be that as it may, I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that we only have a few episodes left before it ends. Oddly enough, it feels as though we just began due to the pacing of the revelations. Yes, it allowed us to answer some of our previous questions but at the same time, it created new ones as well. 
The first answer we were able to infer is with regards to Shigemaru Kambe. As we have gathered from the previous episodes, he was alive and supposedly went into hiding for the past 19 years after he killed his wife. Throughout that period, he was believed to be dead by both Daisuke and the world. This is with great exception of his mother who had known of this fact for a long time and even kept it secret to the point of trying to dissuade Daisuke from investigating further. Second, Daisuke's parents were both scientists who were researching an "element" called “adolium”. Such a thing was considered to be dangerous by Sayuri and despite her husband's claims that he will not use it, she completely did not trust him. This could only mean that "adolium" is something that people, powerful people, would want to have for their benefit. Unfortunately, this argument of theirs led to Sayuri leaving the house which prompted her husband to kill her because as he said, he has invested too much on the project to let it be for naught.  
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Though we were able to answer the question regarding the culprit of Sayuri's murder, it raises the question of what is the true purpose of “adolium”? From the last episode, it was hinted that it had something to do with energy. When it was introduced head on, it was used in a way that caused several nearby electronics to malfunction. The weird aspect of that event is that the ship itself was unharmed, and it only specifically targeted those Shigemaru's group considered to be "enemies". This realization is alarming because it basically means that they have advanced in their research, against Sayuri's efforts to prevent them from doing so, and can now utilize the "element" in a destructive method. Now, what exactly will they use it for? I deduced that it would be applied in creating some kind of set of weapons. The reason I thought so is because of that episode with the president of a country from Central America. The one who visited to resign an agreement for further collaboration with the Kambe family. He was apparently affiliated with them when the latter provided resources for that president’s country’s “development”. A “development” that turned out to have caused or will cause harm to a community, as evidenced by an attempted assasination of their lives by someone who belonged to that group of people. One thing to note though is that there are similarities between the machines seen in episode 5 and 9 in that they both interfered with a specific set of electronics. Therefore, I think it is safe to assume that the machine in the earlier episode contained the aforementioned “element” as well. This theory raises new questions in how that person from that community got their hands on those technology, which seemingly belongs to Shigemaru’s group as backed by Daisuke’s discovery of it in Laboratory 3. It makes one wonder, is the family involved in some kind of civil war and profiting from it? No matter what though, we cannot deny the detail that the Kambe family provides resources, technology, and weapons to their “customers”. 
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Moving on, another key aspect of the mystery is why the higher ups seem to be bent on not being involved nor further investigating the case of the Kambe family. I first thought that it is mainly because they are afraid for their own lives but looking back, that doesn’t seem to be all there is to it. With all the information we have been given, I have two, maybe three if I combine them both, thoughts or theories on this. The first one is that the superiors themselves have invested on this project and are benefiting from it as a whole. It is possible that they too may have a stake in it and will be used by them to acquire future advantages. The second one is that the ones on top contain Kambes or their puppets and alliances. I pondered on this because of the Kambe family picture and how Shigemaru has been described to be the eldest child.The latter seems a little far fetched because if that were the case, why would Daisuke not know about them? Unless, it is specifically being hidden from him as to continue the image that their corporation or conglomerate is “good”, a high probability. 
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The last facet of this mystery so far is what they could want with Daisuke and the identity of the newly introduced characters as well as the location they are currently headed to. With regards to what they want with the former, I’m not quite sure. Daisuke obviously disapproves of whatever this “adolium” business is because of its contribution to his mother’s death and its evident dangerous nature. Shigemaru himself is aware of this, and yet why did he say that he has been waiting for Daisuke for a long time? Why did he instruct Frantz to keep him alive? With these set of questions, I could only gather three possibilities. The first one is that they could be trying to silence him about the matter at hand. They will probably try to kill him too or at least make it so that he would not want to further delve into the issue. Second, they will try to get him in on the business itself by reasoning with him as they might have supposedly did with the higher ups. The last one is that they will let Daisuke take the fall of whatever downhill event is bound to happen next, another high possibility. It cannot be denied that Daisuke is known by the world to be the head of the Kambe Conglomerate. Therefore, it would not be farfetched to think that they might be saving him for future use in taking the fall for the result of whatever they are planning to do. On the matter of the identity of the new characters, we have yet to know more. The only thing episode 9 told us is that Frantz is a multinational weapons merchant on top of being Thomas Matheson’s bodyguard. From that little introduction, it is no doubt difficult to hypothesize the extent of their role in the mystery. Nevertheless, I do have some ideas I would like to share. Frantz’s characteristic of being a weapons merchant aligns with the certainty we had that the Kambe family produces and sells weapons. It would then make sense for them to be related, but what intrigues me is his listed job as a bodyguard which could be some sort of coverup for his true job.  The question is, is he the boss or is he just a representative of his true boss? Additionally, is Thomas aware of Frantz’s involvement with the Kambes? Is he another leader of a country? or better yet, is he himself part of the masterminds or true bosses? We can only know for sure in the next episode. As far as I can conclude though, it would seem that Frantz is an underling, given his actions, of an even bigger persona and that the Kambes are profiting from discords and strife.
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With everything they have given us, there are quite a lot of ways it can go. So in consideration of all these notions and ideas, we can only wait for future revelations, confirmations, and validations. To be completely honest, I cannot wait for this mystery to be further unfolded.
Predictions:
Based on a post (link) I saw earlier, it seems that Episode 10 will contain epic scenes. According to the source, the FKBU team apparently called in the director for Shingeki no Kyojin and Kabaneri Fortress to aid in this specific episode. As a result, they themselves are still in awe of how it turned out when they all worked on it together. Now given this information, it fuels my curiosity to the brim and I simply can’t wait for tomorrow. It seems to me that the scene wherein Daisuke and Haru fight side by side in the opening is about to come true. Imagine that sequence and the possibility of the background music being the OP Navigator, and we will get one hell of an iconic scene.  Moreover, I can’t wait to find out who are the other people involved in this scheme and what is “adolium” going to really be used for, because as far as we know, it has something to do with energy and interference. Additionally, we are already aware that the ship is headed for Panama, a famous country that is known for its transit through the Panama Canal. Is it their destination or is it simply a stop over? I guess we'll just see tomorrow! 
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ms-anne-xia · 4 years
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I haven't seen S6 in a long while, but were there any scenes between Tyrion and Daenerys that lay groundwork for his rampant devotion to her for S7 & S8? It feels like he goes from highly skeptical of her, to being meh or curious about her, to stating high praise about his belief in her within only a few 1 on 1 encounters with her. It strikes me as very contrived.
Yeah, I’m just like you OP. Tyrion just randomly believing in Daenerys when he started as being skeptical of her really doesn’t make any sense. I did see a Tumblr blog make a whole post about this, but I forgot their name. So, I’ll try to put my opinion in.
Firstly, Tyrion questioning whether or not Daenerys will be a good ruler was very fresh and relieving, seeing as everyone either praised her or worshipped her. There was no real love where she was. It was simply blind worship.
Daenerys in the show has been in three relationships, and then add Jorah and, supposedly Tyrion, who were madly in love with her:
With Drogo, she learned how to pleasure him and eventually fell in love with him. Despite this, however, the relationship started out as abuse, so Dany falling in love with her abuser/rapist is really just pure Stockholm Syndrome, and no one can convince me otherwise.
With Daario, in the books Daenerys fell for him because (and I shit you not) he had blue eyes and was attractive. Yeah, her crush on him shows that despite being a quote on quote Queen and conqueror, she’s still a young girl. Even though in the show, it says that Dany never really loved Daario, the books clearly say that she’s absolutely infatuated with him. However, like in the show, I don’t believe it will last. Me personally, I think Daario will be Danys treason for gold, seeing as he is a sellsword after all. But hey, I could be wrong. I just don’t think the couple is pure romance or anything, rather than just pure lust.
Now, let’s get to Jon Snow. I’m just gonna say it: this ship was only made canon in the show simply for the sake of fan service. The fans wanted this for years, so of course D&D made it happen. After all, anything to make this popular show more popular. But when it happened, it was overall terrible. There was no chemistry between the characters (despite the actors being best friends), it was rushed and OOC (for Jon at least but even for Dany to an extent), and then it turned into flat out emotional abuse, with Dany manipulating Jon into keeping his heritage a secret. But you’ve probably seen a bunch of antis already shit on this atrocious relationship, so I’m not gonna get too into it. Besides, those posts explain the problem with J*nerys better than I do.
With Jorah, I definitely believe he could’ve and should’ve been the best choice for Daenerys. He’s been with her since the beginning of her story, has seen all her highs and lows, and overall is very much dedicated to her. If anything, they should’ve been made a thing over J*nerys. Not only would it have been kind of a plot twist and a huge slap to the face for certain incompetent fans, but at least it would’ve made sense. However, as much as I ship them, I do agree that they’re not on equal footing, with Dany being above Jorah in every sense of the word.
With all these relationships mentioned, let’s get to Tyrion, which is a confusing take. In the books, he doesn’t decide to go to Meereen to meet Daenerys cause he believes in her. It’s simply because he has nothing better to do. That’s it. They haven’t even met in the books yet. But just like J*nerys, D&D wanted to feed into the fan service.
When they do meet however, Tyrion keeps his skepticism in tact and even says that Daenerys is terrible to an extent. I think maybe when he heard Dany talk about breaking the wheel, perhaps that’s when Tyrion started to change his mind about her, but that shouldn’t be enough even for him. If they wanted to make this duo interesting, once Dany finishes her talk of the wheel, have Tyrion ask how, and then cut the scene. It would show that Tyrion doesn’t necessarily believe in Danys pretty words, cause that’s simply what they are: words. She has to prove to him that she’s really worth fighting for. And it would show that despite all her talk, Daenerys doesn’t have any real plans for her future rule in Westeros (if she ever sits on the IT in the books that is)
Now in the books, Tyrion is in a very dark state of mind. He tries to get back on his feet, and joins Varys in his journey to meet Daenerys. I think Tyrion in the show saw Dany as this glimmer of hope for him, that there’s still good in the world. And when she makes him her Hand, that’s when he’s regained a sense of purpose. But even if Daenerys gave Tyrion a reason to live, that doesn’t mean he had to be blindly loyal to her and even flat out fall in love with her like all the other men. It just makes show!Dany even more of a Mary Sue.
I wouldn’t have minded if Tyrion was curious about Daenerys even after he became her Hand, but there’s no way that he’d just constantly praise her to the point where it looked like he was brainwashed and a part of a cult. Tyrion should’ve definitely remained skeptical of Dany and even should’ve second guessed his decision to join her the moment she set fire to the Tarlys.
So to put it shortly: no. There’s barely any scenes where it depicts Tyrion’s transition from a witty and intelligent character, to a devoted fool to Danys cult of personality.
Thanks for the ask!
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ftm-quest · 5 years
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Hello, so I figured I might as well talk a little bit about my last surgery on the 26th of July.
As I’ve mentioned before, in Germany (or at least in my clinic) there are four total stages to phalloplasty: 1. “kleiner Aufbau” (clitoral release/metoidioplasty, urethral lengthening, vaginectomy, oopherectomy, hysterectomy), 2. “großer Aufbau” (the phallus is formed using skin from the forearm, urethral opening is pointing down again), 3. connection of the new urethra in the phallus, construction of the glans and scrotum, 4. erectile and testicular implants. Far as I’m aware, these stages are broken up to lower the risk for complications.
I am now about 2 weeks post stage 1. Overall I had to stay in the hospital for 10 days post op. I went to the Chirurgische Klinik München Bogenhausen, which is a clinic with a team of very skilled, young and well trained surgeons, well known among trans men for their skill in phalloplasties. Absolutely worth the 6 hour train trip in my opinion. In the following I will go over more detail of my hospital stay.
Day before the surgery
I arrived about an hour late to my pre-treatment interviews the day before the surgery (thank you Deutsche Bahn), which was fine in the end though, but I had to wait a little longer at their offices. The talk with the urologist was very good, I felt like she explained every step well and carefully and took her time with me (not that I needed much because I knew about most things already). After that I got admitted to the hospital, where I already saw some trans men while I was checking in at the reception desk. My room was on station one, which is known for being the station with almost exclusively trans patients. I shared a room with (apparently during his stay) the only other guy that had stage 1 like me. We got along super well, I got to ask him a bunch of questions, it was great. Some time during the evening I had to get an enema to empty out my intestines (I also wasn’t allowed to really eat anything apart from very salty broth as soon as I was admitted, which sucked because I hadn’t eaten much all day), which was an.... interesting experience, but not terrible.
Surgery day
Once again I got lucky and my surgery was the first, so I got woken up at about 6:20 am and got to take another shower (shaved some more, I had already shaved at home which I strongly recommend, especially if you have a lot of body hair like me), put on the hospital gown and waited and waited until about 7:15 am (felt like hours) when I was picked up by a nurse and rolled down to the OP floors. Had to say my name and birth date to about a million people (for confirmation that they got the right guy) and eventually got my narcosis (took longer than for mastectomy).
When I woke up, I kinda just woke up every once in a while for a few seconds and would doze off again. I didn’t really talk to the nurses there, but listened to them talk a bit to other patients. Had a little bit of pain if I remember right in the area of the uterus and I was just kinda sleepy from what I remember. Later, when I was rolled back up to my room, the nurses told me that I had been moving a lot in the wake up room which I have no awareness or memory of at all and they had to give me some more meds to keep me still. Back in my room I think I was a bit better again, talked a bit to my roommate and all. I can’t remember that much from that day, but I know it was very uneventful, I slept a bunch.
Days after surgery
I hadn’t really eaten anything for the first one or two days after surgery because I was afraid of having to puke from the anesthesia, but eventually I got around to it some morning. On the first day post op I got to stand up once for a few seconds, felt a little woozy and then lied down again. Overall I sometimes had pain mostly in the urethra area, didn’t have much pain from the vaginectomy at first. They give you lots of pain meds tho, so it never really gets bad. On day 2 post op they helped me stand up again and from that point on I was allowed to stand up and walk around on my own, empty my catheter on my own and so on. Walking was a little uncomfortable, I had to walk kinda slow and all. Also that day my roommate got released after having some troubles urinating without a catheter, but eventually it worked out for him and he didn’t need to get another suprapubic catheter. On day 3 post op I had to switch rooms (I later found out that my old room got women and I guess they didn’t want to have mixed rooms) and my new roommate was just at stage 3. We didn’t get along quite as perfectly as I did with my roommate before (we were both sad he had to leave so soon), but we eventually got along better and better as time progressed. He had some more complications and we both ended up leaving the hospital on the same day. But it was pretty cool because he told me a bunch about the second stage, gave me some tips and actually showed me his penis. It was really amazing seeing it in person and not just in photos, it does look and seem quite different, but it looked very impressive and real and I just can’t wait.
At day 4 post op they removed the drain and the “band aids” over my genitalia which finally removed the pains I was getting from the band aids pushing into my vaginectomy wounds, but on the downside introduced me to the real annoyances and pains of catheters. Since now the catheter was free to move around (before it was fixed through the thick layers of band aids) it could introduce all kinds of discomfort and pains to the sensitive area. I’d say it progressively moves from just being annoying to being more and more painful. In general my t-dick has been feeling painfully overstimulated since about 6 or so days post op and it still does. On the other hand catheters are also kinda handy since you don’t have to get up all the time to pee! Also after the removal of the last band aid one day later I was finally allowed to shower again. Very difficult and painful with a catheter.
Moving around was pretty easy for me relatively early on and I could do most things already just a few days post op, except for sitting. I was worried the sitting could cause problems on the train ride home, but when I tried to sit again on the last days, I could do it without much trouble.
As the days went on, the catheter got more annoying, I got less pain meds (only at night) and the days became more and more boring. Finally on day 9 post op I got my catheter removed very early in the morning. Short little sting but nothing bad. At first I had trouble peeing and I felt like I couldn’t completely empty my bladder. Later on though, when I had an ultrasound to check on the amount of urine in my bladder (my brother who is studying medicine did it because the doctor found out that he studies medicine and wanted to let him try, was kinda awkward), I only had about 40ml in my bladder which is more than good enough, thus sealing the decision that I will be allowed to leave the next day. On that day I also took a shower and peed in the shower (which worked much easier than sitting on the toilet for some reason) and the feeling of seeing your stream go forward like that and being able to control where it goes... Much more impactful that I ever imagined. I also eventually tried standing to pee at the toilet which worked out pretty well, although I get tiny sprinkles at the edges of the toilet (no idea why) and I have to get my pants down completely. The last few drops have to be dried with a piece of toilet paper.
And so I did, the train ride back luckily did not have nearly as many problems as the ride there, although I did have to carry my luggage a bit (which you aren’t really supposed to because it’s too heavy...). On the plus side, I peed standing at a public toilet on the train for the first time, which was also pretty awesome. No more sitting on disgusting public toilets!
Days at home
On the first morning home, I had a bit of a shock because I initially experienced the same problems as my first roommate that I couldn’t pee well as in only drops came out instead of a stream and it felt like my bladder wasn’t completely emptied. Luckily it got better an hour or so later. I’ve been having that problem for all days since I got home although I noticed it got a bit better since about yesterday. Most likely areas around my urethra are more internally swollen at night and thus close the urethra a bit in the morning. I actually feel pain when I completely empty my bladder right in the area where it feels like the swollen tissue is compromising the urethra. Overall though, it’s just getting better and better. I haven’t been taking any meds in a long time, the stitched already look really well healed, the wounds on the stomach from the oopherectomy and hysterectomy are super tiny for me and already super well healed.
I won’t have to work for the next 1 1/2 weeks, which should be more than enough time to recover. Honestly with the work I do I could already work again, but hey gotta use any sick leave you get right. I am a little bored most days, but my girlfriend is coming back soon so then things will get brighter and more fun again!
Next surgery and conclusion
My time at the hospital was boring, but almost all nurses were very friendly, funny and competent, the food was decent (hated dinner) and to me it was just an incredible experience that is hard to describe to be at a clinic where almost everyone is a trans patient that is further along in their medical transition than I am. You see so little of trans men in media, in communities just anywhere and even less of trans men with bottom surgery. It’s been my experience as well many others that the further along you go on your road to and along phalloplasty the harder it gets to relate to trans men that are still early in their transition. So finally being around people like me and people more experienced than me in this aspect was just amazing and I am very grateful and looking forward to my next stay.
Regarding that, from what I heard from other trans men usually the waiting time for stage two is about 4 months, which won’t work for me because of university. I hope I will be able to get an appointment in mid February because that will be the last time I can be missing for 6 weeks (I will most likely be doing internships this time next year). More importantly I hope my arm will be ready in time as I have not yet been able to start epilation because of the long long process of getting confirmations from my insurance. I am now waiting on the last confirmation after having had a consulation and after that I can finally start. Hopefully at least the area they use to build the urethra will be done in time, as the rest can be done post op as well.
Additionally, I find it interesting to note that from what I hear in the clinic, most patients that have complications are smokers, so since I have never smoked in my life and my healing so far has went really well, I count my chances high for staying complication-free.
In the end, this stage 1 doesn’t do much for me in regards to dysphoria apart from the fact that I can pee standing (just not at urinals), but with this experience of having surgery, being closer to phalloplasty than ever and having met and talked to men that have already had it, I have never been more excited and anxious to finally have phalloplasty and I really really can’t wait until it’s finally here. I know the hospital time will be very difficult, but the joys and new discovery of my own body and more will be worth all the struggle.
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thebestplltheories · 5 years
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PLL The Perfectionists - 1x01 Pilot LIVE REACTION
WE ARE BACK!!!!
Ok I’m gonna do what I was doing for PLL where I react as I watch. But before I copy and paste the live reaction, I want to give my quick overview. That was by far a 10/10. That achieved everything a pilot should achieve. It introduced us to the characters, each of their stories, and the relationships each character has with one another. It set the overall tone, that this is a murder mystery with twists and turns to come. It established what the show is about. And it had occasional small shocks (I say small because there’s only so much that can be shocking in a pilot when everything is brand new). This was exponentially darker than the PLL pilot and for that I’m so grateful. We are cutting the high school airy-fairy (is that word used outside of Australia?) drama and going straight to scandals and a murder. I’m scared to see the ratings tomorrow because I want it to do well but hey it was trending worldwide on Twitter so that’s a good sign!? The show looks SO promising. I think I’m already in love with the cast. I just want to know more about everything and everyone and omg we are back!
LIVE THOUGHTS:
Love this intro! It sets the scene very well about the whole theme of perfectionism.
WAIT IS DYLAN PLAYING POKERFACE BY LADY GAGA HAHAHAHAHA
Okay sorry but that song ain’t it (“two can keep a secret if one of them is dead”). Why does it sound like an auto tuned choir? I’m happy for change. I actually don’t want the exact same version as the original series. But this one ain’t it. Is it too late to change it???
Wait, why is Alison walking around her new apartment like she’s walking around Jenna’s school for the blind in 710? If she lived 2 years of happiness and freedom of A, there’s no need to be so sceptical of danger every time you walk into a room. Anyway, doesn’t really matter.
Just the backing music throughout the scene is very PLL-esque! Yes, there is such thing as PLL backing music. And this is it.
Mona making a grand entrance!
I feel like Ali’s reaction to seeing Mona was a bit... underwhelming? If they haven’t seen each other in 2 years I expected a bit more of an “OMG”, and a “how did you get in my apartment”, etc. But they go straight to the point and cut the fluff so I don’t mind overall.
Mona recruited Ali. I knew it. And she works at BHU, we already knew that.
Emison is having trust issues. But she wants to do this for the kids. Ok I expected more detail there to satisfy the Emison shippers but whatever, I won’t cry at night.
Ok so Mary and Alex escaped Mona’s “dungeon”. That’s fine by me. Maybe that’ll be the storyline for a PLL movie later, who knows. It’s quite a vague answer but what did we expect... Mona to ADMIT to Ali that she captured her aunt? No. Mona could never explicitly say to Ali what she did. Hence the subtle pause before “... escaped me”. Only us the audience know the true meaning of that and I love how subtle yet meaningful it is.
Why do I feel like this security system is gonna play a massive toll throughout the entire series?
Loved the little Easter egg of seeing Mona, and Mona in the mirror (2 Mona’s). A subtle symbol/reference to her split personality in PLL.
I LOVED the scene of Ali teaching in the classroom! I got How To Get Away With Murder vibes...
Remember when we all thought Taylor’s death would be the main death of the show because of that memorial with her name on it... lol. Okay I’m calling it now... come back to this in the apparently mind blowing season 1 finale... Taylor isn’t really dead WE HAVENT TECHNICALLY SEEN A BODY
Love the complicated friendships going on between Dylan, Nolan, Ava, Caitlin! There’s a lot going on about faking being friends and faking tasks to uphold the image of being perfect. I love this theme and I feel like it’s super relevant to today’s world. Like especially social media. Everyone’s instagrams are always filled of their highs. And they’re mostly edited. No one ever posts/shares their low moments.
So no one knows of Ali’s past. Hmmm. We’ve had this discussion before, I don’t think it’s realistic that no one knows the name Alison DiLaurentis - surely that was on national news when “dead girl isn’t dead anymore” made headlines. But anyway. If they wanna pretend no one watches the news, it wouldn’t be the most unrealistic thing PLL has done.
Is Dylan the gay male character Marlene said she was going to introduce in PLL season 5B? Lmao about time.
WOW that flashback of Caitlin and Nolan just gave me PLL season 1 Alison flashback vibes! Nolan plays the bad manipulative guy so well just like Ali played the bully so well in flashbacks!
Two moms don’t make a right hahahaha who wrote that
Sofia looks FLAWLESS in the pool scene OH MY GODDD. AND her voice is so soothing what the hell
Love how the first scene of Nolan’s mother shows her standing on top of the staircase and the camera panning up. Great directing there. Showing she’ll be like a supreme leader. And then the camera being over her shoulders looking down on Nolan. Again great camera work which conveys the message that she is the boss of this town. I think she’ll be our new Jessica DiLaurentis lol
“I’d like some time for myself” ... “to do what?” OUCH why is that so iconic
Eli is... doing great. He comes across very confident. A star in the making?
Love the cinematography period. And Portland is beautiful!! Better than the Warner Bros lot.
Omg Nolan’s mother gathering “attractive” people for her photo op. Lol, they really are big on presenting a perfect image.
“You saw somebody else” NO CAITLIN, ALISON SAW YOU wow these kids will adamantly lie to uphold perfectionism. I keep saying that but I just love this theme!!!
“I know a little bit about manipulation” hahahahaha Ali
Omg Ali is so good at learning their lies. Of course she is, she’s had years of practice
The woods, Nolan? Nothing good ever happens in the woods.
Lol when Nolan tells Dylan to “kiss me” and Dylan actually contemplates it (and does it). That’s the type of power Nolan has over people.
I love how Ali is trying to help them! I can see a bond eventually forming here.
This scene where Nolan cheats on Ava isn’t shocking since they unfortunately shared it in the promos but hey a douche is a douche.
WHAT THE FUCKITY FUCKING FUCK IT’S TAYLOR WHAT DID I JUST SAY ABOVE
OK I KNOW I GUESSED ALEX DRAKE BUT THIS IS A NEW RECORD FOR FASTEST THEORY TO COME TRUE
Well it wasn’t really a theory I was just joking that she’s not really dead because we didn’t see a body but still do I get a point? Lmao
Nonetheless that shocked me! I love that they’re trying to take down their own family, that’s so dark and it’s only episode 1!
Yes Alison is already getting suspicious. Solve this one please Ali
Sorry I put my phone down during that scene in the woods. I just knew it would be juicy and I wanted to immerse in it properly. I frickin adore this scene. It’s creepy in tone, set in the woods like classic PLL, they’re referring to Ali like a friend and my PLL heart is content, and this is the first time they’re all bonding over one thing: wanting Nolan dead. This is probably my favourite scene in the whole episode.
So I’m guessing the vibes are that they were being recorded in the woods about how they want Nolan to be killed? But didn’t Nolan turn off the security?
Mona gets in her car and chucks a big bag in the back seat. Where was she and what was in the baggggg
Ok that was a bit dramatic Ali (“why am I really here”)
Lol I had to rewatch that for a sec. I thought Ali said “and his dead sister who I just saw pick him up” and I was like wait what Ali knows Taylor’s alive??? No, “dead sister who I just saw a picture of”.
OH MY GOD WHAT A MISSED OPPORTUNITY!!!! THAT SCENE WHERE THE 3 OF THEM ARE WALKING AWAY FROM EACH OTHER... NOLAN’S BODY SHOULD’VE FALLEN TO THE GROUND IN THE MIDDLE OF THEM RIGHT THERE! That would’ve been iconic. Like “oh well we were just kidding about all that, good night xx” then nope bam dead body. But I guess he had to die with poles through his chest as Caitlin said.
Oh Marlene. That’s a LOT of dialogue for a death scene. I hope you can back up and explain what Nolan is talking about before he died. Don’t you dare tell me that was an interpretative dream. Again that’s a lot of dialogue for a death scene. You better know who that killer is Marlene! Don’t make it up the day you write the finale!
I don’t like how we didn’t see Nolan ACTUALLY be killed. They play it safe because they don’t want to show us the killer in action. they basically copied the format of Mona’s “death”. Just change the scene to a flashing ambulance with a lame transition lol.
Another missed opportunity. Mona should’ve said to Ali “they found a body”! That would’ve been iconic in every way possible. First it was Ali’s body now Ali is finding a body and hearing the news and ugh oh well
My god that’s a violent death. And pretty early in the series for a Noel-Khan-level death. Too bad the photos leaked online and we knew that Nolan would not only die, but die like THAT. Those extras/fillers on set really should get charged for having their phones on them and leaking shit. Isn’t there copyright laws or something???? idk
Ummmmmm what? What kind of sci-fi, dollhouse level bullshit is that? That’s kinda over the top. Ehhhh. We’ll see where that goes.
My brain right now instantly got to thinking if Nolan’s murderer will be the “A” of the series or if the killer will just be the main mystery for season 1? Is “who killed Nolan” going to be the overarching story of the entire show or will they answer that sooner rather than later and then start a new mystery? I wonder what the format of this show will be. That’s where my mind is right now as the credits play.
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ainomica · 5 years
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part 1)long asks anon, here to bug you instead because roxxanepolice is business with important business (and I already have a small clickbait article sitting in her inbox lol).I confess, I'm one of those people who who lowkey kinda hates criat, and I think I finally pinned down why. I was never ermagawd luke is ruined forever crowd, but I was also realll ambivalent about the whole 'thought about killing my nephew in his sleep'.
At first I thought it was because the change itself was offscreen and the scene revealing itself was rushed, seriously, is it just me or is Hamill rushing his lines there? thats not a slam on him, I'm just confused. then i thought, okay maybe its because the details rather than the change were offscreen? because 'saw the darkside in his training' can encompass A Lot of Shit from troubling thing like maybe punch objects like we see him to to starting fights and theres no clarification on it.
combine that with ben and lukes relationship being left offscreen (for guarante future profits) and it feels a bit contrived (honestly, if I wanna pin down on mistake I admit it might b bias but I think its the halfbaked relationships with ben and his familiy done in the name of future content and the almighty mystery box, seriously, its kinda hard to care about ben getting back to his family when we dont even know what the family looked like to begin with, like when did he even go to th acadmy?
part 3) ive sen people ballpark it to late teens after bloodline but not having a definite age for what was supposedly The Big Turning Point is kinda worrisome) and I still thing all of that is a problem. but not the problem. I think the problem is that 'redeemed' luke? gets exactly what pretemple night luke and nihilistic luke wanted, and he (and the galaxy) never rally learn why it was bad to want that to begin with. mighty skywalker bloodline? part 5) well, bloodline is up in the air but the legacy is officially secure in terms of the designated hero being perfect jedi already ala yoda. hero luke skywalker? little children now know his story everywhere, taint of bad decisions free. i admit i find the whole 'take th good out o legends' take johnson and Disney are trying to sell infantile, but it becomes more disingenuous when the audience inserts (and the galaxy at large)
art 6)dont even know theres a bad part of the legend to consider and choose against. seriously, nihilistic luke gets what he wants, his shame is effectively buried, with not even his sister knowing (t least i dont think so, which again is bad because i shouldnt have to ask does leia know her twin thought about murdering her son?) (i doubt they used carries footage for a confession, at best we maybe get something in the books) and reys hardy gonna b screaming it from the rooftops.
part 7) he offers a one line apology, skirts really confronting any of the people he wronged (hans lives and punches luke in the teeth au goes here) and goes down the op unproblmatic cinnamon hero of yore complete with symbolic ascension to divine conscious. and thats not touching on what he did offer in terms of apology is, as roxxane said, something he decided to come to the conclusion of offscreen. idk it just bugs me and i need somewhere new to rant lol
Hello Long rant Nonny! you are so very welcome to rant here no worries. 
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I think there is several things to be bugged about what is going on with Luke and his behavior and how he got there in Crait and i agree , i big part of it is because DLF wants to hoard all the content of what made the Skywalker-Solo family worth restoring out of sight from the audience and also the entire development of Luke thinking Ben is too far gone to do anything to suddenly thinking he needs to apologize however he deems fit to Ben with very little to no transition on how he got there. 
There was this Luke looking at Leia’s hologram by R2D2 being a manipulative rascal but then the problem lies in the fact that it says perhaps Luke changed his mind for Leia and Poo is right that Luke indeed came for Leia and the apology is a ....Lie.........to stall his rampaging nephew..not a sincere....
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Its really not a coincidence that beside telling a lot of about the audience itself many of them assumed that Luke is either there to only stall Ben for the Resistance and his sister  and is apology is insincere or what Luke did to Ben in the first place is in anyway justified because DLF wants to keep everything vague- for selling more comic and book content to reveal it all in one go in TROS perhaps. The idea of Skywalker -Solo family being worth restoring over only comes in glimpse, sheer charismatic acting chops from Ford, Fisher, Hamill and Driver and some extrapolation. Because in terms of exposition or any detail they are giving us chicken feed.  
Rey being keeper of all Jedi legacy while not knowing or accepting their entire truth, not even training properly with some old books just looks like another recipe for disaster down the line to some people because this is what Luke had it too and it didn’t help. The hope is Rey and Ben combined could figure out what is it that made Jedis so susceptible to fall by looking at from their own experience but a lot of people are guessing, not wrongly , that perhaps the new DLF canon would try to blame it entirely on Palpatine and ignore the culpability of the Jedis and how they are the ones who provided a fertile ground for Siths to emerge again.  The whole “Republic was betrayed” , “Jedis were betrayed” along with Palpatine’s come back surely hints at that. 
When Luke told her about how the Jedis were the one who made Darth Vader, Rey’s answer to that is that its a Jedi who redeemed him too. Thing is just because Jedis are redeemable organisatio doesn’t mean you can stop to ponder as to why they keep making so many individuals susceptible to the dark side in the first place . Their solution to ever not falling in Darkness  is to blindly obey and never acknowledge no fear , no confrontation of the shadow . 
Their teaching is flawed but Rey never acknowledges it, the movie pretty much skips past it once done and wants us to transfer that blind devotion to Rey from Luke instead without ever acknowledging the enormity of that mistake both on personal level ( Luke not saying anything to Leia or Rey not saying anything to Leia) and meta level ( the whole skipping the detail of how Luke managed to go from A to be B of apologize to Ben thing) . They want us to think that the Old seed philosophy of Jedis in that Tree book collection is enough for Rey to be the guiding principle for the movie ( Poo’s comic book series post Crait) and the promotions also gives me the same vibe on how JJ is emphasizing on Rey making headway on the books as an answer to question of whether Rey is a Jedi now or not. 
 It seems harder to accept Luke’s entire montage in Crait as some sort of divine and familial triumph when we know the pupil he left behind is still enamored by the idea of “Take only good and ignore inconvinient dark failures” mentality and chalks it up as one time mistake of how “he just presumed his choices were made” kind of simplistic narrative. Combined with TROS will focus on Parents being imperfect beings, it seems that  Rey has yet to understand that its the self which is a flawed being and life and Force sensitivity is acknowledging and controlling the shadow.  That pupil is all what remains beside Kylo himself in order for people to acknowledge in world that Luke destroyed an innocent’s life and condemned him to the entire world and drove him in the devil’s arm. Leia forgave and accepted Luke without ever knowing about what he did. Han is already dead. Even C3PO doesn’t know and most of all Kylo himself, the one he wronged would never ever know if Luke was indeed there for him to die for his apology or it was just another trick to save anyone else who is not him like always.
Which is the crux of why it hurts. I said before how Old Jedis’s problem of not confronting the shadow is a problem but is never acknowledged well in the movie is a theme?  Luke’s apology came without anyone who he wronged not knowing about his sin beside Kylo and his apology came in such a way which could easily construed as a ruse to stall the victim villain. Sounds pretty much the same. Luke doesn’t has to announce to the world he tried to murder Ben but the least he could do is tell Leia?? have her at least make an informed choice as to who is is forgiving and what has he done to her son? On top of removing all kinds of details of how Luke got there mentally , it just solidifies the narrative of  “Luke got scott free with all of Galaxy’s love only some miserable exile of self to show for it” while 23 year old Kylo is got shunned and punished for things he didn’t even do . 
 He is still getting punished for it with Rey not even acknowledging the Jedi she chose as problematic and his mother still not talking to him even when she loves him to show for it. Luke’s actions started the chain reaction which Landed Ben in this mess but his apology has not made much of a dent to repair the wrongs he has done. At Least Vader provided half closure in form of making Luke the metaphorical hero by dying , this time the Old mentor dying didn’t do jack to repair the wrongs he has done . Obi Wan was the same in ANH but the movie did go on to acknowledge that Obi Wan is useless mentor and not the voice of virtue, Padme is( in hindsight ,when movie was released it would be Luke, Padme’s stand in) . Would that happen with Luke?? would someone say in future that “Luke your  apology sucks?” .  The only hope remains that perhaps it will happen in TROS but i don’t think it will because the movies seems to not care that details change context and that is why not having Luke talk to Leia, not showing how Luke got where mentally where and having Poo say that damning words of “he is stalling for us” makes it all look bad. 
Kylo and us are all left wondering when we should not be whether Luke was sincerely there for him and that is not ok. 
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klausesdiego · 5 years
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the trial of my gender by maggie c.
below is the personal essay i wrote for my creative nonfiction class. it documents and talks about my struggle with accepting who i am and how i identify in terms of gender. please read the whole thing and be kind. 
I sat at my dining room table, in the middle of the night, watching YouTube videos about people documenting their gender transition. It was fascinating to me, much in the same way that an outside observer would see any scientific study or conduction. To me it was simply that; I was an outside force that was interested in learning more about this topic. For research purposes. I was in 8th grade, so my fascinations tended to fringe to the edges of what was normal. I loved British panel shows, documentaries about serial killers, and even How It’s Made videos. Basically, I watched a large variety of videos that a typical 13 year old wouldn’t think to even look up. And one day I stumbled across the genre of gender transition videos. I believe I was looking up hair dying tutorials because this was around the same time I started experimenting with my hair color; regardless, I ended up watching voice comparisons, post-op surgery reports, and just vlogs in general of people venting their gender concerns. It wasn’t then and there that I realized that being transgender was a thing. I knew of it before that moment. But it was at the moment, the dining room deathly quiet and dark as night except for the illumination of my computer screen that I began to question my own gender.
Gender dictates everything in life. Everywhere you go, even from a young age, you are determined your worth through gender. And maybe it’s not as clear and forthright as you may think I’m trying to convey it as, but a closer eye can see that nearly everything in life, is based on gender. From an early age, even preschool or kindergarten, you are divided by gender. They tell the boys to be a group and the girls to be a group. And at that young age it is ingrained in everyone’s brain that gender is a binary. Gender is male or female and there is no inbetween. It won’t be until high school,l at least, that people will learn that sometimes people fall outside of those binary lines. Maybe you were a male who dressed or acted a little too feminine for everyone’s liking. Maybe you were deemed a “tomboy” simply because you prefered board shorts to bikinis. But at the end of the day, the people around you will label you as a gender that is either male or female. And that isn’t the case. If gender is a binary code of 1’s and 0’s, then everything that doesn’t fit within that code is labeled “nonbinary”. Gender non-conforming, transgender, androgynous, agender, genderqueer whatever you want to call yourself, there are things that lie beyond that binary.
Even when I was young, I didn’t know where I was supposed to fall in the gender binary. I knew that because of how I was born that I was deemed female. Assigned female at birth. That’s what some people call it. But it didn’t really seemed assigned. It didn’t feel like a government assigned label, like a social security number. It truly felt like a piece of my identity. At least, partially. When I was a freshman in highschool I finally berated my mom to the point where she let me cut my hair short into what I called a “pixie” cut. I tried to find the most feminine word for it, hoping that it would sway her opinion. This was soon after I learned the wonders of gender transition videos and watching them soon became a daily habit. In the end I looked like Justin Bieber from 2009, but I didn’t care. I was in love with it. My face was too rounded, my lips were too full. But my hair seemed right, finally. When I was a sophomore in highschool I came out to my parents as transgender. I wrote the date down in my calendar but said calendar has long since seen the trash can after one too many times of me cleaning my bedroom out of anxiety-ridden panic. I told them I wish I was born a male. And the funniest part about that? I don’t even think they remember. Sure, we had a good cry and my mom hugged me, telling me she would love me no matter who or what I wanted to become, but after that night, we never spoke of it again. My parents kept leaving little hints here and there that I might be a lesbian, saying things like “whoever you decide to marry” or “your future significant other”, but they never mentioned my gender. I was always going to be their little girl. And for a while, only my closest friends knew about who I was.
For a graphic design class I took in college, we had to construct a poster series about a serious issue that we were concerned about. The professor used his personal example of heroine usage in York, Pennsylvania and shared stories about it affecting his life directly. At this point in my life I was pretty confident in being unconfident in my gender, so naturally, I gravitated towards transgender-related topics. I learned that every 4 days a person who is transgender gets murdered. I made the poster in the style of a calendar with a bouquet of flowers every 4 days with the flowers being the color scheme of the transgender flag. I thought it was somber but albeit fitting. Learning that terrible fact was a shock for me. I knew that people who were transgender were discriminated, harassed, assaulted, and killed. But at that rate? It made me scared for my life. I was glad, for once in my life, that I presented myself as my biological gender. It was my safety net. Plausible deniability.
Rewind to high school, sophomore year to be exact, I started going by a different name, a more masculine name, online in gender support groups. My closest friend to me, the only one who knew about this whole thing, asked me if I wanted her to refer to me as a boy. I told her it didn’t matter. It did matter to me though. I wanted to be referred to a boy but I didn’t want to go through the hoops of having to change everything about my outer life to simply appease the gnawing feeling inside of me. At night, I wished that I could just wake up one morning with a different body and a different background. It didn’t matter to me how or why, I just felt that all of my problems with who I was would be solved if I had been more biologically male.
One of my friends from middle school is transgender. He started transitioning in his freshman year of college and I followed his journey of finding himself through Instagram. He seems genuinely happy and I feel happy for him everytime I see one of his posts. A different friend of mine, from highschool this time, thought he was a lesbian at the time, and it wasn't until he graduated high school that he decided he wanted to transition to male and be who he truly was. Even at college now, I know of people who have found themselves and their gender through time and experience. They say that cancer affects everyone because everyone knows someone who has been a victim of it. But this works the same for the transgender community. Nearly everyone knows someone. And if they say don’t, then they probably know a closeted person.
For a few years after sophomore year, I decided to let my gender identity go to the back burner, after all I had more important things on my plate: college applications and getting my driver's license. It wasn’t until I was a freshman in college, going to my first meeting of the Gay Straight Alliance that I realized I could reinvent myself No one here knew who I was. So when it came time to say my name and pronouns, I said my birth name, a name I still hold very dear to my heart, and the pronouns “they/them”. It may look like dipping your toe in the water to some people, testing to see if it’s the perfect temperature, but to me it was like taking a running jump and going into a cannonball. I was out. No matter what I was. No matter what I identified as. I was not cisgender anymore.
The idea of cisgender became a hot debate online in forum posts all around. Some people saw the shortening of it to “cis” as a slur much to the way that transphobic people would call transgender people tr*nny’s. But, in reality, it was just a label that society had created to say that your birth gender matched up with the gender you identified as. Most people are cisgender and for a lot of people their knowledge ends just there. Maybe they don’t even know the term cisgender at all. Maybe they are blissfully unaware of the struggles that people go through everyday just by existing. Maybe they just don’t care.
My cousin came out as transgender in an odd way. Through Facebook. She just posted briefly that she had begun hormone replacement therapy. She was already known as the extreme left-wing of the family. She had moved out to California to pursue a degree in gender studies. We all assumed she was just gay, not that she was actually a she. My sister-in-law’s sister came out as transgender, deciding to transition in her late 30’s despite having a wife and daughter. It was then that I realized that being transgender, having a different idea of who you are than from when you were born, isn’t just a fad that people on the internet were adhering to. This was a real thing. I felt justified in that moment. And my feelings felt like they had some grounding for the first time in a while.
In the gender support groups online, I was still a pretty active member at this point, I started going by masculine pronouns instead, still keeping my name the feminine one I was given at birth. This raised a lot of questions as to why I wanted to keep my name, but ultimately it boiled down to the fact that my name didn’t bother me that much. In reality, it just seemed to bother other people more. Like they couldn’t imagine someone by the name of Jennifer being a male. But I knew that it didn’t matter what other people thought of me. I started wearing exclusively sports bras, trying to smother my chest as best as possible. I was on my way to becoming who I wanted to be.
A lot of people who are transgender call their birth names their “dead names”. They see it as exactly that. That other person is dead to society. They have reinvented themselves much like how a phoenix rises from the ashes. While I had experimented with other names, more masculine names, as stated above, I felt a deep connection with my birth name and I didn’t see myself changing it anytime soon. But then again, my reluctance to not change my name was not really based on my affections for said name. Rather, it was me, once again, not wanting to go through the hoops and hurdles of having to change my outer life so much to fit the way I saw myself inside. In my head I knew who I was. What did it matter that other people saw something different? At the end of the day I know that by the end of my gender journey if I decide to change my name, or at least go by a different name, I would be perfectly fine with that. But my birth name would always hold a dear part in my heart.
I came out to my parents as bisexual in an unusual way. It was actually before I went to college. We were on a road trip to visit one of the colleges I had been accepted to and we stopped at a Burger King for lunch. It was bisexual awareness day and so I posted something on Instagram about it. My mom turned to me, and just said, “So, bisexual, huh?” And it was left at that. You might have sensed a theme that my parents aren’t the best with continuing communication by now. I think, some strange part of me deep down inside of me knew, my parents were glad that in their eyes I wasn’t “fully gay”. There was still a chance I would settle down with a nice Christian boy and have 2.5 kids with a white picket fence. And there still is that chance. But there is also the chance that I find a nice girl and we settle down, opting for cats instead of children. I remember, years later, talking to my parents in my living room about weddings. My sister was getting married and I dropped the bomb casually that I may end up marrying a woman. My mother, my closest friend in the entire world, started crying at this. It left me shattered in a way that I haven’t fully recovered from. She told me she would always love me but that she didn’t know how she would feel if she had to have my father give me away to a woman instead of a man. I left to my room heartbroken and sobbed myself to sleep that night.
After I came out to my parents as transgender, I did a lot of research about hormone replacement therapy and how parents view their children who were transgender. I would sit on the bus on the way home from freshman year high school and Google terms like “what to do if my child is transgender” or “female to male teen transition”. I was trying to research what I imagined my parents would be researching. In reality, we know that they never mentioned again to me so for all I know, they never did any research. For all I know they erased that day of their lives out of their memory. For me, however, it will be forever ingrained in my memory. It was the first day I started being true to myself. I was truthful when I told my parents I was transgender. I was truthful when I told my parents I wish I would have been born a male. I just left out the part where I didn’t actually want to live my life as a male. Not fully. I was nonbinary. Genderqueer. Agender. Or even, all of the above.
My experience with gender isn’t anywhere over and I don’t see it being over anytime soon. As of right now, I identify as nonbinary, dancing in some weird abyss of not being female and not being male. I see it as more of a burden than an identity. The fact that I can’t pinpoint exactly who I am is frustrating, but a lot of people don’t see it in the same way. That’s the magic of it being a spectrum; there will be people who feel everything at every point in said spectrum. Some people out there will love being nonbinary and the freedom that it gives them. Most people don’t feel like me. Most people don’t see being nonbinary as a burden or something at fault. But for me, I hope to one day find myself and who I truly am, even if that is what I already know.
When I first cut my hair short freshman year of high school, someone asked me if I was gay. Gay, in today's terms, sort of means the same as queer. Anything other than the normal. Gay emcompasses anything revolving around the LGBT community for some people. I told them no. It felt like cutting a piece of myself out. One of the deadliest sins a Christian can commit is denying their Lord. When asked if you are a Christian, a Christian must respond yes, or else they sacrifice their ticket to their afterlife. To me, answering no felt like I was denying myself that ticket to the gay afterlife. If asked that same question today, I would look them in the eye, think of the LGBT heaven I was destined for, and say yes.
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didanawisgi · 6 years
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Prayers aren’t doing anything. We need gun control laws. We need our government to take action... Or do we?
Ok, so since this is a blog, that means I have to write original stuff from time to time, otherwise it can’t rightly be called a blog, can it? I have many kinds of friends, and I make it a point to be friends with different people, especially ones with different opinions. Here, a family friend of my fiancee posted on her facebook this statement:  “Prayers aren’t doing anything. We need gun control laws. We need our government to take action.” She is very pro gun control and insists that action be taken, however, we politely entered into a discussion about it and I tried to explain why I am against “gun control”.  
I said:  “ I think the most important thing is identifying violent and unstable people early, but the state of our mental healthcare workforce is lacking. The culture and resources dedicated to this needs to shift. I think the political left should focus their efforts there and come up with the most humane ideas. As for gun control in general I am against and will continue to carry concealed. Most of the gun control ideas are either already on the books or knee-jerk and not well thought out. Also the second amendment precludes most of it anyway. I like for things to be practical and effective, so it’s just my opinion that we need to shift focus on how to empower physicians and law enforcement and the judiciary with laws while at the same time allocating more funds to mental health safety nets and research. “
She replied:  It’s hard for me, because I think no matter what we do considering the mental health community (which could take decades) won’t stop mass shootings. When someone has a conceal carry on during a mass shooting, I feel like it just makes it more dangerous because they don’t always know where to shoot, can hurt more innocent people, and could be considered the shooter. What about the mass shooting in Australia? The 1996 Port Arthur massacre resulted in legislation that saw a dramatic decline in gun crimes. It made a huge difference. Was sandy hook (and everything since) not enough to change our legislation? This pattern will continue as long as the NRA has politicians in its pocket.
I then said:  I understand where you are coming from; my perspective is different. Some of the best data and research currently available has put the onus on gun control proponents (for instance check out the Harvard Law study I posted below, that is fairly comprehensive and has good/logical points backed by statistical evidence). Most concealed carry holders have decent training and must demonstrate proficiency and accuracy by law. Also, they are trained/lectured in precisely which instances your gun can be pulled, under protection of the law. The NRA is not really the issue, but the millions of citizens that will not give up any Constitutional right apropos 2nd Amd. that hold their feet to the fire. If the NRA were dismantled entirely today, another would arise in a few months and eventually become just as prominent. I also plan on becoming an NRA member in the future, or whatever gun rights lobby group that will protect my right of self defense, particularly with the rise of white nationalist groups. The first thing the KKK and Jim Crow/government law did was to take away guns from black citizens. If you listen to Malcom X or even MLK (who owned firearms in his home for self defense), the logic and reasons seem fairly sound and self-evident, at least to me. Also, the 2nd amendment and the Federalist papers particularly Madison, make a compelling argument for it as well. Let me know if you want the link, it is a very interesting read. I still contend that the mental health in this country is terrible, even with my first hand knowledge, I still can't believe some of what I've seen. But yes, I understand where you are coming from. There will be no path forward with no improvement if we can't find some common ground on where to take action, as it seems stalemate currently.
She said she would like to read my sources...
Here is the article I cited in its entirety from Harvard Law Review journal: http://www.law.harvard.edu/.../Vol30_No2...
These are some of the more interesting/salient parts in terms of debate: 
INTRODUCTION International evidence and comparisons have long been offered as proof of the mantra that more guns mean more deaths and that fewer guns, therefore, mean fewer deaths.1 Unfortunately, such discussions are all too often been afflicted by misconceptions and factual error and focus on comparisons that are unrepresentative. It may be useful to begin with a few examples. There is a com‐ pound assertion that (a) guns are uniquely available in the United States compared with other modern developed nations, which is why (b) the United States has by far the highest murder rate. Though these assertions have been endlessly repeated, statement (b) is, in fact, false and statement (a) is substantially so. Since at least 1965, the false assertion that the United States has the industrialized world’s highest murder rate has been an artifact of politically motivated Soviet minimization designed to hide the true homicide rates.2 Since well before that date, the Soviet Union possessed extremely stringent gun controls3 that were effectuated by a police state apparatus providing stringent enforcement.4 So successful was that regime that few Russian civilians now have firearms and very few murders involve them.5 Yet, manifest suc‐ cess in keeping its people disarmed did not prevent the Soviet Union from having far and away the highest murder rate in the developed world.6 In the 1960s and early 1970s, the gun‐less So‐ viet Union’s murder rates paralleled or generally exceeded those of gun‐ridden America. While American rates stabilized and then steeply declined, however, Russian murder increased so drasti‐ cally that by the early 1990s the Russian rate was three times higher than that of the United States. Between 1998‐2004 (the lat‐ est figure available for Russia), Russian murder rates were nearly four times higher than American rates. Similar murder rates also characterize the Ukraine, Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, and various other now‐independent European nations of the former U.S.S.R.7 Thus, in the United States and the former Soviet Union transition‐ ing into current‐day Russia, “homicide results suggest that where guns are scarce other weapons are substituted in killings.”8 While American gun ownership is quite high, Table 1 shows many other developed nations (e.g., Norway, Finland, Germany, France, Denmark) with high rates of gun ownership. These countries, however, have murder rates as low or lower than many devel‐ oped nations in which gun ownership is much rarer. For example, Luxembourg, where handguns are totally banned and ownership of any kind of gun is minimal, had a murder rate nine times higher than Germany in 2002. The same pattern appears when comparisons of violence to gun ownership are made within nations. Indeed, “data on fire‐ arms ownership by constabulary area in England,” like data from the United States, show “a negative correlation,”10 that is, “where firearms are most dense violent crime rates are lowest, and where guns are least dense violent crime rates are high‐ est.”11 A second misconception about the relationship between fire‐ arms and violence attributes Europe’s generally low homicide rates to stringent gun control. That attribution cannot be accu‐ rate since murder in Europe was at an all‐time low before the gun controls were introduced.13 For instance, virtually the only English gun control during the nineteenth and early twentieth centuries was the practice that police patrolled without guns. During this period gun control prevailed far less in England or Europe than in certain American states which nevertheless had—and continue to have—murder rates that were and are comparatively very high.14 In this connection, two recent studies are pertinent. In 2004, the U.S. National Academy of Sciences released its evaluation from a review of 253 journal articles, 99 books, 43 government publications, and some original empirical research. It failed to identify any gun control that had reduced violent crime, sui‐ cide, or gun accidents.15 The same conclusion was reached in 2003 by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control’s review of then‐ extant studies.16 Stringent gun controls were not adopted in England and Western Europe until after World War I. Consistent with the outcomes of the recent American studies just mentioned, these strict controls did not stem the general trend of ever‐growing violent crime throughout the post‐WWII industrialized world including the United States and Russia. Professor Malcolm’s study of English gun law and violent crime summarizes that nation’s nineteenth and twentieth century experience as fol‐ lows: The peacefulness England used to enjoy was not the result of strict gun laws. When it had no firearms restrictions [nine‐ teenth and early twentieth century] England had little violent crime, while the present extraordinarily stringent gun controls have not stopped the increase in violence or even the increase in armed violence.17 Armed crime, never a problem in England, has now become one. Handguns are banned but the Kingdom has millions of illegal firearms. Criminals have no trouble finding them and exhibit a new willingness to use them. In the decade after 1957, the use of guns in serious crime increased a hundredfold.18 In the late 1990s, England moved from stringent controls to a complete ban of all handguns and many types of long guns. Hundreds of thousands of guns were confiscated from those owners law‐abiding enough to turn them in to authorities. Without suggesting this caused violence, the ban’s ineffectiveness was such that by the year 2000 violent crime had so increased that England and Wales had Europe’s highest violent crime rate, far surpassing even the United States.19 Today, English news media headline violence in terms redolent of the doleful, melodramatic language that for so long characterized American news reports.20 One aspect of England’s recent experience deserves note, given how often and favorably advo‐ cates have compared English gun policy to its American coun‐ terpart over the past 35 years.21 A generally unstated issue in this notoriously emotional debate was the effect of the Warren Court and later restrictions on police powers on American gun policy. Critics of these decisions pointed to soaring American crime rates and argued simplistically that such decisions caused, or at least hampered, police in suppressing crime. But to some supporters of these judicial decisions, the example of England argued that the solution to crime was to restrict guns, not civil liberties. To gun control advocates, England, the cradle of our liberties, was a nation made so peaceful by strict gun control that its police did not even need to carry guns. The United States, it was argued, could attain such a desirable situation by radically reducing gun ownership, preferably by banning and confiscating handguns. The results discussed earlier contradict those expectations. On the one hand, despite constant and substantially increasing gun ownership, the United States saw progressive and dramatic reductions in criminal violence in the 1990s. On the other hand, the same time period in the United Kingdom saw a constant and dramatic increase in violent crime to which England’s response was ever‐more drastic gun control including, eventually, banning and confiscating all handguns and many types of long guns.22 Nevertheless, criminal violence rampantly increased so that by 2000 England surpassed the United States to become one of the developed world’s most violence‐ridden nations……
Here is part of their Conclusion: This Article has reviewed a significant amount of evidence from a wide variety of international sources. Each individual portion of evidence is subject to cavil—at the very least the general objection that the persuasiveness of social scientific evidence cannot remotely approach the persuasiveness of conclusions in the physical sciences. Nevertheless, the burden of proof rests on the proponents of the more guns equal more death and fewer guns equal less death mantra, especially since they argue public policy ought to be based on that mantra.149 To bear that burden would at the very least require showing that a large number of nations with more guns have more death and that nations that have imposed stringent gun controls have achieved substantial reductions in criminal violence (or suicide). But those correlations are not observed when a large number of nations are compared across the world. Source: Harvard Journal of Law and Public Policy http://www.law.harvard.edu/.../Vol30_No2...
I then said, Federalist 10 and 46 represent in my opinion, the chief parts/reasoning of why the second amendment is important.
Here is part of Madison's argument in Federalist 10: "From this view of the subject it may be concluded that a pure democracy… can admit of no cure for the mischiefs of faction. A common passion or interest will, in almost every case, be felt by a majority of the whole; a communication and concert result from the form of government itself; and there is nothing to check the inducements to sacrifice the weaker party or an obnoxious individual. Hence it is that such democracies have ever been spectacles of turbulence and contention; have ever been found incompatible with personal security or the rights of property; and have in general been as short in their lives as they have been violent in their deaths. Theoretic politicians, who have patronized this species of government, have erroneously supposed that by reducing mankind to a perfect equality in their political rights, they would, at the same time, be perfectly equalized and assimilated in their possessions, their opinions, and their passions. A republic, by which I mean a government in which the scheme of representation takes place, opens a different prospect, and promises the cure for which we are seeking. Let us examine the points in which it varies from pure democracy, and we shall comprehend both the nature of the cure and the efficacy which it must derive from the Union." James Madison, Federalist No. 10
So here he argues why a Republic is better then a Democracy, and the idea of the "mischiefs of faction" and how at any given time the majority will in one way or another coerce the minority. Democracy, counter-intuitively then, is the great civilization killer, and easily undermines individual freedom, hence the "tyranny of the majority".
In Federalist 46, he examines the differences and pros and cons of having a Standing army (Military controlled by government) vs armed citizenry: In Federalist No. 46, Madison calculates that the new government could support a standing army but "To these would be opposed a militia amounting to near half a million of citizens with arms in their hands, officered by men chosen from among themselves, fighting for their common liberties, and united and conducted by governments possessing their affections and confidence. It may well be doubted, whether a militia thus circumstanced could ever be conquered by such a proportion of regular troops… . Besides the advantage of being armed, which the Americans possess over the people of almost every other nation, the existence of subordinate governments, to which the people are attached, and by which the militia officers are appointed, forms a barrier against the enterprises of ambition, more insurmountable than any which a simple government of any form can admit of. Notwithstanding the military establishments in the several kingdoms of Europe, which are carried as far as the public resources will bear, the governments are afraid to trust the people with arms."
Here I think we find the seeds of the Second Amendment, and the relationship to standing army (Government controlled) vs an armed citizenry, which if need be (unlikely going to happen, but still) acts as a kind of fail safe to preserve the Republic (atall costs). Democracies do not need a first or second amendment, however a Republic does. (In my opinion). In a Democracy, the vast majority would be fine with gun control, likely not seeing any "modern" need for an armed citizenry, and would just vote on it and it would be so. But the problem is that this is precisely how nations die, and join the eternal cycle of failed states.
I could go on in a further attempt to explain my logic/reasoning as to why I think the second amendment is necessary to preserve the Union (forever), and to preserve the Republic (specifically). But I think I have said enough to at least get my reasoning in a way that does not make me seem like a radical. I think if you really consider it, you will see where I am coming from.
Also, here is an article from one of my favorite philosophers of today, Sam Harris, whom you may be familiar with. He writes with clarity and sound logic. Here is a piece he did on gun control (if you are interested): https://www.samharris.org/blog/item/the-riddle-of-the-gun
Here are some follow up questions in a pod cast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0DYpaLgWIo
Here is some more material on the "dilemmas of democracy" https://www.city-journal.org/.../james-madison-and...
Here's a brief discussion of Federalist 46 https://armsandthelaw.com/arc.../2005/04/federalist_no_4.php
Here is something I wrote that you may be interested in and partly explains why I am "republican" along with what I mentioned about Democracy and the "micheifs of faction": What follows is something I wrote for a facebook “civil politcal debate” as a favor to a fellow freemason in Canada, where I attempted to get at the essential reason why I think we have so much political upheaval, and how to get back to our Constitutional way of life by examining Hamilton’s Federalist No. 17 and the implications therein. “First, I would like to thank Bro. Charles for inviting me to comment in a civil discussion of politics, a subject I usually do not attempt to discuss on Facebook due to the inherent limitations of the medium itself. The format and back-and-forth nature of posts only seems to foster hurried and usually less well thought out arguments “in the heat of the post”. I have come to realize you do not persuade others by quipy remarks or tones that, in your own certitude, just come off as condescension regardless of how well thought out or how right you may be (or think you are). I shall attempt to render my opinion on the first part of your questions Charles, and that is, is the phenomenon like Trump and Brexit a ‘Great Rebellion’? The short answer is in the affirmative, and here is why. Two words: Power, and Sovereignty; but perhaps not in the way you may be thinking. What I mean by power is, where does the actual political power come from in this day and age? From the People presumably, but the fear, justified or not, is that both nations, a Constitutional Republic and a Parliamentary Democracy are no longer responsive to the Will of the People. The Spectre of Oppression rises as the perception of true freedom wanes. People feel more and more disconnected, disaffected, disenfranchised, and trod upon by undue regulation. In many instances, it affects them personally, financially, and has significant influence on their means. And yet, what recourse do they have? Voting ad nauseam with little to show for it? It feels as if no one represents you completely, largely due to entrenched political platform with little maneuverability, dominated by crony kow-towers suffering from Group Think. With each election cycle, we the Peoples of both Nations, feel like our Power, or Self-Evident Liberty to govern ourselves, is slipping away. Alexander Hamilton, in Federalist no. 17, has this to say about the advantage of maintaining matters related to Law and Justice at the Local level: “There is one transcendent advantage belonging to the province of the State governments, which alone suffices to place the matter in a clear and satisfactory light… I mean the ordinary administration of criminal and civil justice. This, of all others, is the most powerful, most universal, and most attractive source of popular obedience and attachment. It is this, which, being the immediate and visible guardian of life and property; having its benefits and its terrors in constant activity before the public eye; regulating all those personal interests, and familiar concerns, to which the sensibility of individuals is more immediately awake; contributes, more than any other circumstance, to impress upon the minds of the people affection, esteem, and reverence towards the government.” Hamilton is essentially saying that Liberty is best maintained locally, in terms of civil and criminal law, and that when done so, is more responsive to the People, and they in turn, are more cooperative and filial with the Government (imagine that! Lol). So, therefore, this is the crux of my point, and where my assumptions rest as to the nature of the problem. Trump and Brexit (and Bernie I would argue) are manifestations of the People’s hope to regain some of the “Power” they intuitively sense they have lost, but few will cite the raison d'être as I have. Naturally then, my solution rests in returning the ‘ordinary administration of criminal and civil justice’ or “Power to the People” in the form of greater reliance on Local and State Governance, and considerably less Federal encroachment in these arenas, which would serve to assuage the Fears, real and imagined, of the Populace, and bring back a more responsive government for the people, by the people. Now that I have clarified (hopefully) what I mean by “Power,” let us move onto Sovereignty, which is defined as ‘the authority of a State to govern itself’. This part is easy, for I see sovereignty as a natural extension of the principle of power, or rather, as an (Fractal-like) iteration of the self-evident Right of Liberty, or to govern ourselves. One of the chief complaints I heard/read from supporters of Brexit was that being in the EU degraded British Sovereignty. Well what does this mean really? It means that the very ‘power’ Trump supporters (and other supporters) want back, a greater ability to self-govern, are the very same thing the Brexit voters want; more freedom, particularly in regards to civil law and the regulations they feel like they have no say or voice in. Their say in the ‘ordinary administration of civil and criminal justice’ is eluding the voters of both nations. Taking back one’s sovereignty is just another way of saying I want more say in civil and criminal law from a governmental perspective. So, this is why I would have to answer the first part of your question in the affirmative; it is a ‘thing’ whose cause rests in the voters declining ability to have a voice in civil, tax, property, etc. law that is imposed on them by politicians orders of magnitude removed from them.”
Anyway, I wanted to share this with my followers, food for thought. I highly recommend reading and listening to Sam Harris philosophical approach to the Riddle of the Gun.  Take care followers and have a Blessed day.
REGIII32
p.s. feel free to debate and argue (followers), I enjoy hearing your thought processes and seeing your evidence.
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toraonice · 7 years
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Yuri on Ice interview translation - PASH! 2017/05 (p24-25)
I am pleased to bring you the very first interview with director Sayo Yamamoto!!! You don’t know how much I’ve been waiting for this... This one is pretty general because of course she has never been interviewed before so they are asking her the basics, but it’s very interesting to finally hear things from her perspective too, since she’s the one who started it all. More interviews with her will be appearing in other magazines in the near future, I’m looking forward to those ones too.
Also, I believe a bright future is to be expected for Yuri on Ice, since she seems to have lots of plans...!! (I was shivering typing out the translation, lol)
Translation is under the cut.
***If you wish to share this translation please do it by reblogging or posting a link to it*** 
***Re-translating into other languages is ok but please mention that this post is the source***
Interview (first appearance in media!) The world of “Yuri on Ice” that director Yamamoto wanted to create With 8 notebooks full of notes in one hand, director Sayo Yamamoto has answered our interview for the first time. We have asked her how this new animation that no one had ever seen before was born.
I was convinced that this would become an animation work no one has seen before.
I want to turn figure skating into animation!!!
—First of all, could you tell us why you decided to create an anime about figure skating?
I’ve always liked figure skating. In the beginning I was a light fan who only watched it on TV, but little by little I started dedicating an extraordinary amount of time to it. When drawing action scenes in a storyboard I began to add figure skating elements, like “if I put a movement similar to the flying camel spin here it might be interesting” (LOL). Around the time I created “LUPIN the Third -Mine Fujiko to Iu Onna-“ (2012) I couldn’t hold back those feelings anymore, and I considered the possibility of creating an anime about figure skating to broadcast at the same time as the Sochi Olympics. However, since most people said that “figure skating requires a lot of animation frames and it would be very difficult to animate for a TV series”, I couldn’t find anyone who agreed to work on the project and two years passed. In the meantime I tried to incorporate figure skating into various works, like the OP of “Persona 5”, but I still strongly felt that I wanted to create an anime all about it. At the time of the Sochi Olympics I met a producer who was looking for a project, and when, without any expectation, I tried to propose my idea, maybe because of the Olympic mood (LOL), they told me that it sounded interesting. —Could you tell us how you decided to invite Mitsurou Kubo to join the staff?
First of all, when I came up with the idea of “a figure skater in a difficult situation and the athlete he admires, who is also his rival, becoming his coach”, I thought that Kubo-san would be able to draw it in a fascinating way. In the movie “Moteki*” (2011) she worked on the scenario in the form of a manga storyboard, and above all, I was a listener of her radio “All Night Nippon**”. I just had the feeling that with her I would be able to create an interesting story. [*translator’s note: The movie “Moteki” is based on the manga by Mitsurou Kubo] [**translator’s note: The exact name of the program is “Kubo Mitsurou, Noumachi Mineko no All Night Nippon”, it aired for almost 2 years between 2012-2014 and then for about 5 months in 2015] —What was it about her that attracted you?
I was often impressed by what she said. What I look for in an anime script is how many dialogues with a punch line you are able to insert. I can think about the outline of a story by myself, but I wanted to create it with someone who would be able to add punchy and impressive dialogues that would actually make the characters come alive. Kubo-san has done manga serializations for shounen manga magazines for a long time and also has experience drawing works created by other authors, therefore I thought that discussing together we could be able to create a powerful work. However, she was never involved in the creation of an anime, and I did understand that it would be challenging. The producer told me “wouldn’t it be better to add one more scriptwriter?”, but when I asked whether there was another person who was as passionate about figure skating as me I was told “there isn’t” (LOL). Since there was no other choice, I decided to study scriptwriting and create the series composition myself. Just at that time Kubo-san’s ongoing serialization ended, so I decided to ask her. We are also adjusting the animation based on the acting.
—How did production of the series advance, approximately?
I first came up with an outline of the full series, and talking with Kubo-san about that we decided the details and she drew the manga storyboard for episodes 1-5. But from episode 6 onwards it was like a venture into an unknown world (LOL). In the GP (Grand Prix) series I at least wanted to have 6 athletes compete in every episode. An anime episode is 20 min. 10 sec., and an actual SP (short program) is 2 min. 50 sec. When I ordered the music I had it shortened to about 2 minutes, but in the programs I wanted to incorporate all figure skating elements, so I asked the choreographer (Kenji) Miyamoto-sensei to adjust the time with transition parts and spins. However, since we still needed to make it shorter, when I created the composition first of all I calculated the exact time a character would skate, the exact time the following character would start skating and so on… all of it also considering flubbed jumps and such. Then we discussed the story more in detail and decided the elements and scenes we absolutely wanted to insert and the position of lines. Even so, when I translated this into the anime storyboard it was still too long, and editing required an exorbitant amount of time. The person who was in charge of it, Tomoki Nagasaka, is an outstanding editor who also has experience working in live action movies, so he managed to work it out somehow, but we really spent a huge amount of time on that every week. —Why did you decide to use original songs for the performances?
I thought that if we used existing songs people would already have their own impression of them based on real athletes who skated to them before, so they might end up comparing them to reality and not be able to enjoy them fully. We’re creating an original anime, it would be a pity if something like that happened and added pressure, wouldn’t it? I believed it would make more sense, as an anime, to create programs that no one has ever seen before, with songs that no one has ever heard before. —Could you tell us what you talked about with sound director Shimizu at the time of recording?
I have already worked with Shimizu-san in “LUPIN”, he’s very passionate about acting. He has the ability to organize actors, he read the story of “Yuri on Ice” enthusiastically and understood it fully, and on top of that he can even come up with things that I couldn’t think of, so I was sure I could entrust him with the job. While checking the acting, when I felt something wasn’t right most of the times Shimizu-san felt the same, therefore I trusted his judgement. “Yuri on Ice” has comical deformed parts too, but when we chose the cast we were careful to select voice actors who could act naturally. All of them were very skilled, so their acting was never drastically different from what I imagined. —Was there anything that impressed you during recording?
The voice actors always performed even better than we expected, so it happened that we changed the animation based on the acting. They were all subtle things, but that’s actually difficult. Anyone can easily be affected by a powerful line, so when a character says it you already get an impression of them, but a fine performance is what makes the difference and makes you feel that the character is really there, not just “a character inside an anime”. As long as I can I want to continue “Yuri on Ice”.
—What scenes impressed you in the anime?
What made me realize that this anime would become something amazing is Victor’s skating scene in episode 1. When we were editing this part, I was convinced that this would become an animation work no one has seen before. Of course I was confident even before that, but when I saw it turn into an actual 20 min. 10 sec. film I fully realized that we were creating something new. It’s not something I normally do, but at that time I told the producer “this anime is going to be amazing, it will definitely be successful!”. Usually, even if I think so myself, I don’t say it until the series is completed. However, their reaction was very weak, like “the schedule is already crazy, what are you saying?”… (LOL). Especially when it’s an original work, it happens often that the director is the only person who can see the whole picture. Also, if other people tell you right away “I know!”, “that’s nice!”, most of the times it means that it’s something they have already seen somewhere. That’s why on the contrary, when I got a weak response it made me confident that I was creating something new, something no one has ever imagined before. —Could you tell us about the ED?
For the ED song I ordered something that “could be played as the final song of an ice show or during the 6 minute warm-up”. Regarding the footage, first of all I reckoned it would be too much work to use skating scenes, therefore I thought we could use still pictures that had an impact and that could not fit in the actual anime. Many figure skaters use the SNS, so I thought it would be interesting to use that as a concept. For example, when we went location hunting in Karatsu I wanted to use the shower place we saw there, but since after all we couldn’t fit it in the anime, I asked to use it in the ED. In Almaty, the place where Otabek is, the subway is very deep, almost like a shelter. All the pictures were chosen based on the idea “a skater from this country could do this in this place”. (Yuuichirou) Hayashi-san took all these scattered ideas and organized them neatly. —I was a bit surprised to know that Otabek uses the SNS too.
He definitely does. Many foreign skaters have an account. For them it’s normal to show what they are doing. Otabek too is making full use of lots of SNS. I think that for skaters who have their base outside of their home country and travel the world SNS are also a way to keep connected to their friends and families. —The fireworks scene in the ED is also impressive.
That was Hayashi-san’s idea. The three of them weren’t actually together in Hasetsu in summer, so that scene is not something that happened at a certain time, it’s more like an imaginary world. Hayashi-san has good observation skills and the pictures he creates are always very convincing. He has the power to make you think that this might have actually happened. “This character might be doing this” is something that anyone could come up with, but Hayashi-san is able to show you one step ahead of that. —Could you tell us about the reading play that is going to be performed at the April 29 event?
Kubo-san and I conceived the basic ideas, and I was able to order the script from Kimiko Ueno-san, who among the people I know is the one who can write the craziest stories. I worked with Ueno-san in “Space Dandy” (2014) and I heard that she enjoyed “Yuri on Ice” until the end. I think it will be pretty crazy (LOL). —What about the future of the anime?
I’m being told “let’s continue as soon as possible” (LOL). I’ve already decided what to do next. I came up with it while doing the video editing for episode 10, but what I’m thinking is something grand, and I’m wondering, what will happen if I really do all of that…? At this moment, my intention is to continue “Yuri on Ice” as long as I can. —Could you let us know some information about the next releases?
The bonus footage of the last volume and Kubo-san’s manga that is going to be distributed as bonus for purchasing all the volumes are both awesome. The details will be announced soon, but I believe fans of Yurio and Otabek are going to be especially pleased. It will also include recording footage of Stéphane Lambiel’s appearance in the last episode! It’s precious footage that I took with my iPad during recording. Also, (character designer & chief animation director Tadashi) Hiramatsu-san and (animation director Noriko) Itou-san are doing their best fixing the animation, they’re having an immense amount of pictures redrawn. There are no ugly Victors in the BD/DVDs. In general, everything is being brushed up. It’s possible that the relationships between the characters too might look different in some instances. Therefore, if you are unsure about buying the volumes, I would recommend that you do. Thank you very much!
By the way, since she talked a lot about the ending footage, I’ll link you the interview with Yuuichirou Hayashi that I translated from Animage some time ago, as he talks more in detail about how it was created. You can find it here.
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Mob Psycho 100 II 9 - 11 | My Roommate is a Cat 9 - 11 | Spec Ops Asuka 9 - 11 | Shield Hero 9 - 10 | Morose Mononokean 10 | Double Decker! EX 2 | Price of Smiles 10 - 11
Mob Psycho II 9
So…uh…is this the first time we’ve had lyrics for the OP???
For some reason, “you little s***” is a hilarious nickname…in my head.
Is it just me, or did the style of Teruki’s eyes change when he got that stack of hair off his head?
My Roommate is a Cat 9
Please don’t let that random voice be the do-oh no. I was right *sigh* As much as I think dogs are fine and cute and all, this is a show about a cat, so naturally I feel diametrically opposed to dogs when watching.
Long ago, the writer and his cat lived in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Signing attacked! …Yeah. I couldn’t resist the Avatar pun…of course.
Aw…Kawase is a good guy, even if he’s a bit obnoxious to poor Haru.
As someone who’s currently volunteering at a charity store, I forget to say “thanks” all the time. It eats me up, it really does…
That post-credits sequence was funny, but only because I could read the “dying message” (it’s katakana ha <-> kanji hachi -> number 8).
Magical Girl Spec-Ops Asuka 9
Oh hey, a cheerleader stamp (sticker...?) from the Cheerleader vs Megaton Shark movie!
Wait, whaaaaaaaaat?! I thought Asuka was Tamara’s older sister (metaphorically), but…she’s nottttttttttttttt??? Also, why doesn’t Tamara get creeped out by the fact her stuffed toy could be a Disas in disguise?
Why is everyone so…for lack of a better term…gay for Asuka?! Even Tabira…
Ouch for Tabira. I’m just laughing because it’s like seeing SekaTsuyo or Bikini Warriors being torn up in front of my face – I’m thanking whoever made this for that image alone!
Cenobite. Basically…it’s another horror reference.
The Osprey stands out so much…CGI..it’s so garish…
Garish CGI strikes again, this time in the form of a 4WD!
Shield Hero 9
Naofumi’s such a dad…haha.
It’s a Filo-and-fish! Hahaha! (Update: I’m aware there are some of you who might never have heard of a Fillet-o-fish and so…there you go. It’s a McDonald’s meal name. It makes me hungry just thinking about it, to be honest though.)
Why does Motoyasu even care so much for underage girls? Sure, they have their rights too, but…is he a lolicon???
They talk about “white privilege”…so maybe there’s “hero privilege” as well…hmm…
Motoyasu’s “treasure-protection shields” versus Filo = 0 to 2, Filo’s victory! Hahaha!
Morose Mononokean 10
The idea of Rippou being amused by “a mundane world plank”…amuses me. So does the idea of Abeno and Ashiya walking around as a shingami and witch, respectively…Come to think of it, Ashiya’s always the one who dresses like a woman if the need arises, huh?
I feel sorry for Zenko, to be honest…I mean, she’s wearing what’s meant to be Abeno’s outfit! She’s going to trip, y’know? Where are the OH and S concerns (OH and S = occupational healh and safety, though...yeah, I make that mistake a lot)???
Come to think of it, I wasn’t tracking where Abeno’s book went. So he left it in the Mononokean…I see.
Poor Fuzzy! He got taken by Komon!!!
Smol Itsuki…I swear I’ve seen a similar character in a manga before – and somehow I know it’s a manga, but I don’t remember which one…
Double Decker! EX 2
Couldn’t you just ask “Milla” (even if he’s not a Police Academy graduate)? Pretend Valery is Kirill or something, maybe.
I can’t believe they’re still making jokes about Doug’s laundry…
I feel kind of bad at snickering at this crossdressing thing – you know how the LGBTIQ+ community feels about this stuff, don’t you?
Travis’s pick-up lines are too cheesy for this earth…*shakes head with grin on face*
There’s a police bird mascot on the dashboard of the Seven-O car.
When I realised what Mr Goldman was doing to Kirill (potential sekuhara and disguise reveal, if you know what I mean)…my face went all funny…
I don’t think I’ve seen a Kirill and Valery eyecatch before…hmm.
The fact there were two men making out in the change rooms…I wonder if that was played for humour? If so, that’s nasty to the LGBTIQ+ people, y’know?
“Max, that’s mine. Take good care of it.” – Your…what, Deana? Your target???
The next-ep preview had me laughing! Travis, don’t give yourself away!!! But now I get why Kirill was in a wedding dress.
Price of Smiles 10
Y’know, Lily, you shouldn’t wish for a kid to be confined to their house forever. Kids grow up and then need to make a living…at least, that’s what I’ve learnt.
I honestly (almost…?) thought we’d only see casualties on Yuki’s side…guess I was wrong.
Shield Hero 10
Notably, a lot of Western-inspired fantasy works such as this use “runes” based on stylised English…including the map that appears in this ep.
This knight that’s doing all the talking…his name is Ake, according to the interface.
My Roommate is a Cat 10
The irony of that dog bag of Haru’s (the human girl’s).
Cats and Dreams (Neko to Yume) = a parody of Hana to Yume (Flowers and Dreams).
All these thoughts Subaru has of his mother make me want to hug mine…
“50 inches”, my butt! (The newspaper says there’ll be 50 centimetres of snow...)
I expected Okami to be at the supermarket (Nana, not her brother)…but instead, Hiroto showed up. What a small world it is in this anime…(well, it is all set in the same neighbourhood, with the exception of that signing, so it should be. At least, I guess so.)
F*** it, Hiroto. I thought you were annoying in the past, but you’re nice too! What’s up with this show??? Why do I feel everything Subaru feels??? (Uh…past me, maybe, that’s the point of this show…?)
The cat show is also relatable in how I peel apples…and that would probably carry over to other fruit and veg too…
If there’s one thing I can annoy this show about, it’s how to transition between human and cat perspectives. Aside from that, it’s A-OK!
Morose Mononokean 11
Wait, these birds have one foot (each) and ear wings??? Wuh???
Oh, now that Abeno mentions it, Chungo has a crescent, but one of the other bros has a heart on his belly. Another one has a circular pattern with a round dent where the head is (like a partial moon, with the smaller edge inverted).
One of the “birds” has two dents in his belly pattern (like the one I described just before, but this time with a W shape).
Hmm…in much the same way the police act as a representative of the state, the reason there needs to be a master of the Mononokean is to represent it…and maybe the Legislator. Is that right, people?
Come to think of it…”chun” roughly means “tweet”, hence “Chunichi”, “Chunji” etc.
The name of this episode is Kii (literally, “return to residence” as far as I understand it…I may have misinterpreted that second kanji though).
Is Komon a “she”? It’s hard to tell, really.
Mob Psycho 100 10
“Prime Minister Yabe”, eh?
I think I saw “ONE” written on one of the buildings.
I sort of saw the comparison between Sho and his dad coming as soon as I saw Ritsu and Sho hanging out together.
I found my old first season predictions from summer 2016 and now I just remembr Dimple as a “green cloud”, LOL.
Well…sorry to break it to you guys, but someone’s post was called “Dimple makes the Body Improvement Club PLUS ULTRA” so I sort of know where this is going…
Hmm…this “muscles with psychic power =/= muscles with training” thing reminds me of the tomatoes from s2 ep 1.
Mob Psycho 100 11
(Mob says something along the lines of “you need to rely on others to help you survive.”) - Welp, Mob, that’s a consumerist post-Fordist society for ya.
“…don’t use your psychic powers against others.” Don’t think I’ve corrected any subs in a while.
…and randomly, Reigen.
Post-credits scene. Keep watching!
I just realised these “courses” mentiond in the next-ep previews are related to the Japanese side of things – BDs, DVDs, events and manga.
Egao no Daika 11
Almost done with the season, eh?
Couldn’t Huey have been shown giving the money, rather than keeping it a secre until the rest of the group did it…?
Please say that’s an armistice, Yu-oh no.
I feel like revealing Izana’s death to his family now…is a bit late.
That’s Stella’s fish bowl! Great Scott! (Okay…that was a terrible pun. Y’see, Scott was the one who believed Stella was Layla’s daughter…and he was right.)
Oh…end of credits segment. Keep watching.
Notably, the ep 12 title (”The Price of Smiles”) is written in kanji + hiragana, instead of the katakana of the show title.
Spec Ops Asuka 11
“I don’t want to run.” – Well, with Nozo-chan leaning on her like that, Sayako definitely won’t be running…in more ways than one.
Ken can mean “dog” in certain contexts, y’know. So Kenjou seems like a good name for a dog boi...spirit…thing?
My Roommate is a Cat 11
I’m going to miss this show when it’s gone…
I feel like a better episode title translation would be “Overlapping Feelings”.
Hmm…I never thought he (Subaru) was wearing a tonne of blue because he liked it. I just thought it was a good aesthetic choice on the part of the mangaka…welp, at least there’s a reason for it now.
Rabbiteye blueberries. I’d never heard of them before, to be honest. (Isn’t blue meant to be rare in nature???)
I could tell from the silhouette it was Kawase…
I know that feel…haven’t you seen the meme that goes…oh, I’ll go find it. Then you’ll understand what I mean.
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^…This one.
LOL, that image of Haru on Kawase’s computer.
This show makes me wanna hug my parents…Update: Hey, I said that a few episodes ago. That makes me feel really stupid.
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RWBY V6 OP Thoughts
I usually try not to speculate too much since I’m not sure how much people like that but since it’s the OP I wouldn’t be able to say much without doing it. So, be prepared for a lot of dumb shot-per-shot theorizing.
Full disclosure: This is not a blind liveblog, mainly because I believe the OPs benefit a lot from having a bit more time to think about them. I’m also writing this _after_ liveblogging the first episode but it’s 99% spoiler free other than a couple of small details.
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Right away we’re hit with the most noticeable difference, RWBY is back _and_ they are all looking forward in the same direction. V5 had them looking forward but only towards their own goals, now that they are together again they all share the same goal.
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The moon through the OPs:
V1: Full moon in all shots except in Blake’s.
V2: The moon appears full in all shots except Cinder’s.
V3: It appears once and it’s shattered.
V4: The moon is nowhere to be found.
V5: The shattered moon gets a small cameo in the title screen.
V6: The moon is the focus of a shot again _and_ it gets shattered.
This is probably a big reach but I think the moon can symbolize both conflict and the RWBY team (the moon getting destroyed also appears multiple times in the soundtrack and it’s always in the context of things going bad).
V1 and V2 have a whole RWBY team so they have a full moon, and Blake and what Cinder represents end up being the finale conflicts.
V3 has the biggest conflict so far _and_ the RWBY team ends up being separated so it gets one big shattered moon.
In V4 the RWBY team doesn’t really exist anymore so there’s no moon in the OP.
In V5 RWBY is slowly reforming so the shattered moon is back but it’s shown pretty small compared to the other seasons.
What could all that mean for V6? This is the first time that the moon changes states in the same shot. RWBY is back so the moon is full again _but_ there’s either going to be internal conflict (there’s a couple of possibilities here) or external conflict (a big fight).
Interesting to note that it’s a scythe what breaks the moon. Hold that thought.
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Just an establishing shot to remind us they exist. About the only thing of note (other than Qrow having his eyes closed) is that Oscar reading an “Atlas Mechanics” but who knows what that could mean other than “yeah, we’re going to Atlas this season”. Also Nora and Ren seem to be finally “together together”!
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Ruby and Weiss being playful, I love their smiles!
Ruby is _chasing_ Weiss. If you remember the first shot of the OP, Weiss also appears directly in front of Ruby there, so they are really emphasizing that bit of symbolism.
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I really like this shot. While Weiss and Ruby seamlessly went back to being partners (probably even better partners after Weiss’ perspective shift), Blake and Yang are obviously having a lot more problems. They _are_ sitting together so they are trying but there’s something holding them back.
Blake’s bravado in the finale doesn’t mean she’s over what Adam did to her.
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This is interesting because of what it implies. They both seem discouraged but _why_ if they are all together again? There’s a hint in the first episode at least for Ruby but not to the point this shot shows.
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For a two-second shot there’s a _lot_ of interesting things to talk about.
Maria’s (sorry, the woman’s name is the one spoiler from the first episode) eyes are fully covered. Since eyes are so important in the representation of magic of the show, without seeing anything else I’d be inclined to think she has something to do with that.
But it’s immediately followed by a close-up of Ruby’s silver eyes so I’d guess she either had silver eyes (and lost them) or still has them but she hides them.
Also, Ruby’s close-up shot is a reflection in her glasses. So Maria either sees herself in Ruby and/or viceversa but there’s definitely a connection there.
Ruby gets a slight smile so Maria gives her a bit of hope back.
Maria also gets a tender look in her “eyes” when she looks at Ruby. This could be for a lot of reasons but a couple of guesses are that she ends up getting close to Ruby after training her how to use her eyes or she knew Summer (maybe she taught her?), or maybe both. There’s a third possibility related to the next shot.
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This doesn’t need a lot of speculation to reach the conclusion that Qrow is either going to die or get incapacitated badly because of his alcoholism. 
Remember the scythe that breaks the moon? Who’s the _one_ person that uses a scythe, that Ruby has never doubted and that she has always looked in hope every time that there has been a problem?
If Qrow dies Ruby is going to get hit _hard_ and that’s going to cause a lot of problems for everyone. I wouldn’t be surprised if this season is the start of an emotional arc for Ruby. The mentor dying is a staple of the hero’s journey after all.
Maria could help Ruby a bit after it happens, but I doubt she’ll be the biggest factor in Ruby’s recovery, that’s going to be someone else.
(This is RT saying “YOU WANTED MORE RUBY DEVELOPMENT? CONGRATULATIONS, YOU JUST KILLED QROW.”)
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Ruby is fighting the exact same Grimm arms that pulled Qrow into the darkness. This can be literal (there is going to be a Grimm like that) and/or figurative (the arms could represent depression and while Qrow lost his battle against it, Ruby is still fighting).
In V5’s OP they used something similar with the tentacles both showing Leo being threatened by them (which ended up being literal) and how Salem’s reach was all encompassing.
She’s also carrying the relic which as of the first episode hasn’t happened yet. But there are a couple of shots in the OP that suggest how that could happen though.
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Recreation of my reaction when I first saw Roman’s hat: OH MY GOD NEO IS BAAAAAAAAAACK!!!
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Cinder reacts in alarm to Adam’s sword but doesn’t necessarily mean they are going to meet this season, it could just be a cool transition.
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Just a couple of establishing shots for the villains. Emerald being the only one not smiling is probably the most interesting thing here.
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Salem is _pissed_. It could be because of how the Battle of Haven went, the disappearance of Cinder or something related to the next scene.
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We’re finally getting some Ozpin backstory. I have no idea who that woman could be (besides more drama for poor Oscar) but that statue seems to be the second to last Ozpin incarnation, the one with blue robes. If he has a statue he was obviously important so it lends credence to the theory that Ozpin was the King of Vale who stopped the war.
The weird thing is that it has been only 80 years since that happened but Ozpin is in his third incarnation since then. Did they all die in their 20-30s?
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Back in my post about the V5 OP I wrote: 
Jaune is obviously somewhere else. Not only is he still not over Pyrrha but now he has to deal with knowing _why_ it happened.
I wonder if we’ll get some sort of confrontation with Oscar considering Ozpin is responsible for… well, a lot of it.
It looks like we’re finally getting that confrontation. I hope Ozpin doesn’t say “toodles” leaving Oscar alone.
An internal conflict between Ozpin and the rest also explain why Ruby is the one carrying the relic. Another explanation to that is that Ruby is being self-sacrificing to avoid risking anyone else dying.
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Action shot establishing that they fight in a train. :v
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Cinder is back and she’s fighting a mysterious someone who’s wielding a pink umbrella. Which makes a lot of sense. Ruby was just defending the school and wasn’t even the one who actually killed Roman. But Roman and Neo were only there because Cinder ordered them to.
It does leave open the possibility that they’ll join forces next volume if Cinder is able to convince Neo that Ruby is the cause of everything bad that has happened to them.
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Obligatory action shots. They are working as a team _and_ Ruby is being supported by Weiss’s glyphs which gets reinforced again next shot.
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Weiss literally picks up Ruby from the ground and helps her stand up, joining everyone at glaring something unknown.
Weiss and Ruby’s relationship gets a lot of focus this OP. If I have to make a guess, it’d be that Qrow is going to either die or get removed from the picture, Ruby is going to be at her lowest point due to this and Weiss is going to be the one that helps her the most.
It works as a big contrast to Yang and Blake who are facing away from each other in this shot. They also don’t get a lot of screen time in this OP, which makes me think that the show is going to take the repair of their relationship very slowly and if anything happens it’ll be towards the end of the volume.
And... I think that’s all. I think this is one of the most spoilery OPs so far but it wouldn’t surprise me if it was on purpose to mislead us. In any case I’m very excited to watch the volume so it worked!
Until next time!
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bisexualamy · 7 years
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Transition Update #30 - Top Surgery Consultation
(Please don’t reblog this!)
Yesterday I had my top surgery consultation.  I am getting the surgery done in Pittsburgh so I can attend consultations, pre-op/post-op appointments, etc. with enough ease that I don’t need to fly very soon after surgery.  If anyone is in the area and wants specifics about where I’m going or what surgeon I’m seeing, please message me privately.
I’m going to try to be thorough with this I can remember most of it down the line.  The first thing is that the concept of top surgery is something I’ve wanted for months, but walking into the hospital suddenly made it feel much realer than it ever had before.  I started to get a bit scared at the idea of going under anesthesia, especially because I’ve never had surgery before.  I know that I want this surgery, but those typical trans doubts were still so present in my mind about whether or not I’d ever want to come back from such a permanent decision.
I checked in and the nurse took my vitals, and then I went and waited for a bit for the surgeon to come back from her lunch break (about ten minutes).  When she got back, I was brought into an exam room and told to change into a gown so later the surgeon could see my chest, I filled out some forms about my basic info and medical history, and then her physician’s assistant took down more information about said medical history, and more specifically my dysphoria relating to my chest, how long I’ve been IDing as trans, all that sort of stuff.  I’m assuming it has to do with making a case to my insurance to cover part of the surgery, because I had to do the same thing when I went on T.
I want to note now that everyone I talked to was extremely respectful of me and very nice.  They all tried to use considerate language and treated me like any other patient (this surgeon does chest surgeries on mainly cis people from what I can tell, such as cis men with too much breast tissue).
After that I saw the surgeon, and she checked out my chest size, if there were lumps in my chest, and took some photos of my chest for reference.  She then told me that I’m on the cusp of qualifying for either periareolar surgery or double incision.  She said that my chest is just about too large for peri, and were I to opt for it, I might need a second surgery to tighten up a lot of loose skin in the chest area.  She showed me photos of people who opted for peri under my similar chest size and a bit smaller, and I saw what the results looked like.  For me personally, I didn’t like the way it looked on people with my chest size, and I really didn’t like the idea of opting for potentially two surgeries.
She also recommended that I go for double incision, and while I’m nervous mainly about the scars outing me should I choose to go stealth, I don’t think that’s a realistic worry.  The vast majority of cis people don’t know what top surgery scars look like, and the results from double incision looked much better for my chest size, in my opinion.  They gave a much more “typically masculine” result.  She told me that I don’t have to decide right now, that I can wait until my pre-op appointment a week before surgery, but I’m leaning towards DI.
She told me the scheduling office will call me in the next few days to give me some potential dates, and to tell me what happened when they submitted the insurance claim.  I hope it’s good news.  I’ll post an update when I know when my tentative dates are and what my insurance says!
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oldadastra · 7 years
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Night falls: losing myself in the dark
Sometime last year, a funny post listing the Myers Briggs personality types of characters in The Force Awakens made the rounds. I happily reblogged it, partly because it made me laugh, but mostly because I was tickled that the OP had labeled Kylo Ren as INFP, the same type as me.
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Comments on the original post expressed doubt that Ben Solo could be this personality type, and of course, this is an analysis of a fictional character, so it’s silly at its base. Nevertheless, Star Wars has always presented a lens through which we can explore elements of our culture and ourselves, so I found it useful to think about.  
To me, the INFP assignment felt like it could be true; an introverted type, driven my deeply-held beliefs, with a tendency to go all in on causes which felt important. An ability to see multiple positions on an issue. Emotional, moral, poetic, impractical.
Without going too far into the weeds of personality tests and types, here’s a link to a test I took recently, and a link to the description of the INFP personality type.If you aren’t familiar with or interested in the Myers Briggs, you’ll probably want to scroll on, as this post is going to focus on politics and my own struggles to come to terms with the dark, using Ben Solo as my metaphor.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot in recent weeks, as the political environment grows darker here in the United States. Each day unleashes some new horror in our civic realm, and I feel myself getting lost in the gathering darkness. 
A little bit about myself: Most people who read my stuff know I’m old within the fandom (I’m 50). Here’s what I do for a living; for most of the past 25 years I’ve worked as a sculptor (in collaboration with my husband), creating artwork for pubic spaces. It’s an arts job that has taken us to diverse communities around the US where our process is to spend time listening to people to try to understand what makes their particular place special or important to them. We then create artwork which makes those values visible; inviting people to spend time together in their shared civic spaces, and hopefully, creating a more inclusive, beautiful, and lively environment in our towns and cities. Our work shows up in libraries, town squares, universities, transit stops, veterans homes, hospitals, parks, and other public spaces.
In my spare time, I’m part of our town plan commission, and president of the village merchant’s association. I lead rural arts activities, help out at our local museum, history festival and art fair, teach community education classes, and rescue stray and feral kittens. In short; I try to be a nice person, not an asshole.
To use a Star Wars analogy (which also works for me as a self-identified witch): I serve the light. I always have.
Until lately.
Aside: If you want to know more about me and the place where I live, here’s a link to an article in Politico in which me (and a bunch of my neighbors) are quoted at length. It was published on the day of the Inauguration. 
Here’s a picture of me, taken by the photojournalist who came out to document my little part of the world. It was a sunny morning, about 15 below zero F, and I am feeding my sheep:
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  What does it feel like when a good heart goes bad?
I have lots of time to think while I’m caring for my flock of sheep and goats. and occasionally, insight strikes while I’m working at these mundane tasks. My whole Bloodline thesis? While flinging hay. The convictions that show up in my Jedi Killer essay? Hauling buckets of water to and fro. The explorations of the new saga as a possible meditation on universal themes of war and an exploration of moral injury? Those were late-night ruminations during lambing season last spring. 
Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about the American political situation, and my response to it. I’ve been working on an essay about the ways in which Rogue One provides templates for contemporary resistance, but this other thing has been in the way, and I need to write about it first: the darkness. 
One of my friends, another handspinner who is also a therapist, was the one who told me to take a Myers Briggs test. When I told her I was INFP, she clapped her hands and said, “Ha! I thought so.” This was probably only a year ago, so it’s a new idea for me, but the category feels right. All those traits of an INFP personality - they feel familiar and true. Embracing the ‘label’ has helped me to better understand myself and the ways in which I prefer to engage with the world.
Which brings me back to Ben Solo. Kylo Ren.
In the weeks since the election, and in the days since the inauguration, I have felt myself falling to the dark side. As the process began, I thought about asking my friend, the therapist, 
“What does it look like when an INFP goes bad?” 
Then I realized I knew.
Kylo Ren is the template for a personality with a vivid moral code warped into violence. His is the pattern for strong emotion congealed into explosive rage burning, burning, burning, just beneath the surface; heavy, corrosive and hot in your chest. It is the outstretched hand twisting into the clenched fist. 
I know because I can feel it happening to me. 
In the Politico article, one of the local people interviewed by Michael Kruse said, 
“It’ll be turmoil for four years. [Trump]’s like a firecracker in a keg of dynamite.”
Why, then, I wondered, did he vote for him? He put down his brandy in a plastic cup and looked at me.“Why not?” he said flatly. “Let it blow.”
This, and the guy’s other hateful comments, are part of what’s stoking my rage; my fall. In the darkness, I disagree with everything he says, except for this:
Let it blow.
I voted for Clinton. I was never excited about her candidacy, but Trump represented then, and is demonstrating now, that he is a clear and present danger to democracy, and I voted against that. Now that the worst has come to pass, in a strange way I agree with the vile man in the article; I saw the threat Trump and his cabal represent and voted to maintain the status quo. My neighbors (some of them might have been my friends) chose a different path, and here we are.
So be it. Let it blow. 
And why not? The world is in trouble. If we are to build new ways of living, the old ones must pass away, yes? It feels as though the collapse is upon us; a self-induced crisis of epic proportions to which we must all respond. We’re invited to sweep the ground clean of everything that went before and start anew.
I know in my bones that these are dangerous times which demand the absolute best from all of us if people and institutions we care deeply about are to survive, and yet, every day I am failing. I am falling to the dark. I can feel it. and cannot find my way out. 
Hate, deception, and cruelty are the markers of the new regime, and it is so easy, so very easy, to meet hate with hate. 
Star Wars is helping me try to make sense of it. I spent much of the past year trying to understand the story of a fictional character, writing about the reasons he might have fallen - been seduced by the dark side, we like to say here in the GFFA - but I never really got it until now. 
Surrendering to the dark side is easy. When war is brought to your doorstep, it feels simple and correct to meet it with war. When the people around you display their ignorance and bigotry, how else should one meet it but with righteous fury?
I’m lost. I thought I was Jedi, but it turns out I’m Sith.
Or not. 
I’m struggling against this, the darkness. Even that is a revelation; the intensity of the struggle in my psyche, in my soul. It’s exhausting. I feel it as a heaviness in my chest, the hot buzz of too much blood in my veins. 
I am a shepherd, perhaps the most cliched pastoral and peaceful job a person can do, but these days I tend to my flock and fight fantasies of violence as I tear gobs of hay off the bales to carry to my gentle animals.  The steel tines of my pitchfork are polished with moving summer’s grass in winter, and they glitter in the guttering light of my headlamp.
I’m doing what I can; writing this helps, perhaps. Stepping out into the cold air of winter clears my head, if only temporarily. Marching helped. Speaking out and taking action helps. I’m talking to the wise ones in my circle; my friend Richard, a veteran activist who is headed back to Standing Rock this spring, and who seems to have cracked the code of non-violence. All the voices around me that feel less lost. I’m looking for the light. It’s there, I know it.
I’ve written so much about Ben Solo because I love him. He’s Han and Leia’s boy, after all. I’ve thought of him as though he were one of my own children, and the question of how to bring him out of the dark, how to get him home, has felt urgent for these reasons.  Now for the first time, I realize he’s me. 
Save Ben Solo
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